Mary Burchell

Nobody Asked Me

CHAPTER I

ALISON EARLSTON lifted her suitcase down from the rack as the train drew into the clattering gloom of King’s Cross Station.

In one way, she was glad the journey was over, but she knew that the little shivers which were running down her spine now had nothing to do with the cold wind blowing in through the open window. They were just common or garden funk. She couldn’t disguise it from herself.

‘Leaving school represents a very serious step forward in your lives,’ Miss Graham had assured her fifteen senior scholars in a more-than-usually-solemn address the previous evening. ‘Probably much more serious than you yourselves realise at the moment.’

Fourteen scholars had wriggled a little, and privately thought it a rather stupid comment on the good times they intended to have. But the fifteenth-Alison-had stared at Miss Graham with her big brown eyes and thought without any conscious disrespect, ‘I bet I know a good deal more about the seriousness of my leaving than you ever will.’

For one could not imagine that Miss Graham-with her dignity and her authority-had ever known what it was to be a Poor Relation. And that, Alison knew, was her own unenviable position.

Not, of course, that anyone had ever used the expression in her hearing. In fact, anyone like Miss Graham was at considerable pains to throw a cloak of dignified geniality over the situation. But that didn’t deceive Alison. She had known once what it was to be loved and welcome, and she had no illusions now about the difference.

It didn’t do to think too much of that difference- although it was almost impossible to do otherwise just now, with the busy station scene bringing back the memory of so many homecomings. Mother smiling and eager, scanning each carriage with bright, enquiring eyes, until her ‘Alison darling!’ seemed to mark the real beginning of the holidays.

And Daddy, too-tall, much graver, but thrillingly attractive even to daughterly eyes-ready to greet her with the warm hug and kiss which told her how glad they were to have her home again.

Such dear familiar scenes, so reassuring in their constant repetition. Alison had always thought of them as going on for ever-or, at any rate, until the end of her schooldays, which seemed sufficiently like ‘for ever’ not to matter.

And then, just before her seventeenth birthday, tragedy had smashed its way into her life. Her parents had both been killed in a motor accident, and, when the first clouds of bewilderment had cleared, she had found that not only was she an orphan; she was an orphan without a peony to her name.

It seemed impossible that anyone so grave and responsible-looking as her father could have been an inveterate Stock Exchange gambler. But the state of his finances at his death, the gravity of the family lawyer, and the cool condemnation of Aunt Lydia, all went to support the inevitable conclusion.

He had gambled, recklessly. And, unfortunately, his death had come at a time when his fortunes were at their lowest ebb.

‘Criminal, of course,’ Aunt Lydia had said coldly, though without any real show of emotion. ‘But there is no satisfaction in reviling dead people. They can’t even answer one back.’

It was nearly three years now since she had summed up the situation thus, but, to the bewildered and grief-stricken Alison, those sentences had also summed up her aunt.

Until then Aunt Lydia had been something of an intriguing legend in her mind-something quite fabulously beautiful and quite fabulously rich.

Her first husband and Alison’s mother had been brother and sister, but he had died before Alison was born. She had often heard her mother describe how Aunt Lydia had come home to his family-an exquisitely lovely young widow with an exquisitely lovely little daughter, Rosalie.

‘She really was the most beautiful thing I ever saw Alison,’ her mother used to say. ‘Small and lightly built, with delicate features, red-gold hair, and violet eyes. Real violet; the kind you read about and never see.’

‘And did she look like a princess?’ Alison would prompt her with childish curiosity.

‘Well, yes, she did. I looked desperately ordinary beside her,’ Mother would confess ruefully. ‘And when you came along you looked a very ordinary brown-eyed poppet beside Rosalie.’

Alison never minded that, because it was all right being ordinary if Mother was ordinary too, and she liked to hear about her only relations, who sounded just like people out of a story-book.

Of course it had been inevitable that Aunt Lydia, with her red-gold hair and her violet eyes, should marry again. And she had. She’d married money-lots of it-when Alison was still a baby. The money was attached to someone called Theodore Leadburn. But, although Mother never actually put it into words, Alison always gathered that Uncle Theodore was of quite minor importance beside the money.

After that, it seemed, the meetings between Mother and Aunt Lydia became rapidly fewer. It was one thing to accept a home from her husband’s people when she was a penniless widow. It was quite a different matter to bother to keep up a connection with them when she had made a wealthy marriage.

There was never any actual break between them-nothing at all unpleasant-but Aunt Lydia was busy scaling golden heights, while Mother was busy being a perfectly ordinary person.

True, every Christmas Alison used to receive a very expensive-looking card, inscribed, ‘To dear Alison, with love from Cousin Rosalie,’ and she used to send back a not-so-expensive-looking card, inscribed, ‘To dear Rosalie, with love from Cousin Alison.’ But except for this annual outburst of affection, and an occasional letter from Aunt Lydia -on the Riviera or in Scotland or on a cruise-there was no communication between the families.

Once, when Alison was about nine, there had been a different sort of card-very beautifully printed and impressive-looking-to state the rather astounding fact that Aunt Lydia had had two more children at one and the same time -a girl and a boy.

Alison thought it was exciting. But Daddy said, ‘Good God, that was a bad slip,’ and Mother said, ‘Hush, dear. Not in front of Alison.’ Which, of course, had fixed it in Alison’s memory.

But not long after that even the letters and the Christmas cards had ceased, and Alison scarcely even thought about the existence of her rich but shadowy relations… Until the awful day when she realised that, but for them, she was utterly alone in the world.

Aunt Lydia -looking thirty, although Alison knew she must be about forty-two-came down to the school to interview her niece and Miss Graham.

Even in her grief and misery Alison felt some curiosity at the legendary Aunt Lydia appearing at last. It took only a minute to see that her mother had not exaggerated the description of her aunt’s beauty. And, as she looked into the cold loveliness of those violet eyes, Alison dimly sensed the meaning of her father’s remark about the arrival of the twins, years ago. There was nothing sympathetic or motherly about Aunt Lydia.

For all her fragile loveliness she was a woman of great decision, and she seemed to have Alison’s unfortunate situation at her admirably manicured finger-tips.

‘There’s not a penny, my dear, and we may as well face the fact,’ she assured the wincing Alison. ‘I don’t know what your parents intended you to do-?’ She paused for a moment to allow her niece to fill in an awkward gap.

‘I was to stay at school until I was eighteen,’ muttered Alison.

‘Much the best thing,’ agreed her aunt, with some relief, Alison saw. Evidently she was glad to hear that her niece was disposed of for another year. ‘In any case, eighteen is quite early to leave school these days. We may even find it better to leave you here a little longer.’

Alison wondered whether she ought to explain that by then she expected to have reached the head of the school, and that it would only be wasting Aunt Lydia ’s money if she were to go over a year’s ground a second time. But perhaps it would be better to leave that for discussion during future holidays. And, in any case, her aunt’s next words made it stingingly clear that none of her money was concerned.

‘It seems quite a sound school-educationally,’ she said a little disdainfully. ‘Anyway, it is expensive enough. However’-she shrugged-’your uncle says he is willing to pay the fees, so I suppose there is no more to be said.’

‘It-it’s very kind of him,’ murmured Alison unhappily, and thought how queer it was that her aunt spoke exactly as though Uncle Theodore and his decisions had nothing whatever to do with her.

‘Yes, it is kind of him,’ agreed Aunt Lydia, pressing her lips together. And she listened with cold detachment while Alison stammered out some message of thanks to be conveyed to the unknown Uncle Theodore.

But if Alison imagined that future holidays would yield an opportunity of more friendly discussion, she was entirely mistaken. Her future holidays were spent alone-at school.

After the loving interest that her parents had always taken in her, it came as a terrible shock to discover that her holidays, and how she spent them, were of less than no importance to the people who were now acting as her reluctant guardians.

It was useless for Miss Graham to talk of her aunt’s many calls on her time. Alison knew-and she knew that Miss Graham knew too-the plain fact was that she was entirely unwanted.

After that, she was not surprised that her eighteenth birthday brought no decision about her leaving school.

For nearly two years longer she had the humiliating experience of lingering in the top class, pretending that she was passionately anxious to put in extra study.

Miss Graham-who was perhaps more understanding than Alison supposed-eased things slightly by giving her small tasks in connection with the younger girls, supervising their homework and so on. It somehow implied that she was something in the nature of a student-teacher, and one or two of the staff treated her as though she were a little more than an ordinary scholar.

It soothed the humiliating smart a little. ‘But it’s awful,’ thought Alison, ‘being here without any sort of label. Everyone’s labelled in a school, and if you haven’t one it’s as though there’s something wrong with you. I’m not a pupil or a teacher or even a student-teacher, really.’

And then, because she had a certain sense of humour, even at her own expense, Alison thought with a rueful little grin, ‘Well, I suppose my label really is "The Permanent Poor Relation".’

But it hurt all the same.

Then, just as people were beginning to say, ‘Why, you’ll be twenty next birthday, won’t you, Alison?’ Aunt Lydia wrote to say that she had ‘better leave at the end of the present term, and come home here until we decide what it is best to do with you.’

Alison had an uncomfortable suspicion that, even then, it had taken a firm and tactful letter from Miss Graham to move her aunt.

However, this at least was a step forward-’a very serious step,’ as Miss Graham had said-and so something like relief as well as dread had gone with Alison on her long journey to London.

Now that she was here-looking round the crowded platform and feeling that she was the only person in the whole of King’s Cross who was not being met-she realised that the dread was distinctly getting the upper hand.

Of course, she knew her way about London from previous holidays, and she was quite capable of looking after herself; but it did seem a little callous of her aunt to have sent no one at all to meet her.

‘Taxi, miss?’ enquired a porter, whose solicitous air owed its origin partly to his hope of a tip and partly to the fact that even porters are sometimes sentimental creatures at heart, and he had noticed that Alison’s brown velvet hat and Alison’s brown velvet eyes were exactly the same shade.

‘Yes, please.’ It seemed the only thing to do, although she was very conscious of the small amount of money in her thin little purse.

He collected her shabby trunk from the luggage van, took her case, and found her a taxi. And Alison had no idea that it was the sweetness of her smile which made up for the smallness of her tip.

As she drove through the streets, she found her thoughts turning more and more to those happy far-off days when she used to come home to the delighted, affectionate greetings of her mother and father.

There seemed to be something so strange and melancholy about sitting all alone in a taxi, gazing out at the crowded streets, and trying to assure oneself that one was home from school for the last time.

Alison was uneasily aware of the fact that there was very little suggestion of ‘home’ about this particular return, and she sat on the extreme edge of the seat, her hands clasped nervously together, her eyes taking in the scene outside, but none of it really reaching her consciousness.

‘Of course, I am nothing to them,’ she told herself earnestly, trying to find excuses for the chilly absence of any greeting. ‘It would be silly to expect them to show delight at having me thrust on them.’

But her reason told her that there was a good deal of difference between ‘showing delight’ and ignoring someone altogether. And, by the time the taxi drew to a standstill, her heart was beginning to beat in heavy, uncomfortable thuds.

Her uncle and aunt had chosen to have their town house in one of the quieter and more dignified squares just behind Knightsbridge. Alison thought the solid exterior suggested Uncle Theodore’s bank balance rather than Aunt Lydia ’s beauty and elegance. But, the moment the door was opened, the glimpse of the hall beyond conjured up the picture of her aunt.

The servant seemed surprised at her appearance.

‘I’m Miss Earlston-Mrs. Lead burn’s niece,’ Alison explained. ‘I think she is expecting me.’

‘I don’t think Mrs. Leadburn expected you until Thursday, miss,’ the servant said. ‘But she is in, if you’d like to see her.’

‘What else did she expect me to do?’ thought Alison, coming into the hall. She felt extraordinarily uncomfortable. It was bad enough to have to present yourself before unfriendly relatives when they were expecting you. It was ten times worse when they were not.

She found she was gritting her teeth painfully hard as the maid showed her into a long, light room, with a respectful murmur of, ‘Miss Earlston has arrived, madam.’

‘Alison!’

Her aunt (looking not a day older than before) got up from a chair by the window and came forward.

‘But, my dear, I didn’t expect you until Thursday.’ Her frown was quite slight, but it somehow conveyed to Alison that she was extremely annoyed and put out. It was not an encouraging greeting from her nearest relation after two years’ silence.

‘Didn’t Miss Graham write to you?’ Alison asked timidly.

‘Oh, yes, she wrote to me.’ Aunt Lydia sounded faintly scornful. ‘These schoolmistresses seem to think one has nothing to do but read letters and write them in return. But I am sure she said you were coming on Thursday, not Tuesday.’

‘Oh,’ Alison felt very much like a chicken that had come out of its shell too soon and now didn’t know how to get back.

Her aunt turned away to a desk and ran through some papers, while Alison stood there wondering what she was expected to do or say. It wasn’t as though there were anywhere else she could go-not anywhere in the world. For a moment she felt panic-stricken.

‘Yes, here we are.’ Her aunt picked up a letter with an air of aggrieved triumph. ‘I knew I was right. Thursday.’ She held out the letter.

The typed lines suddenly blurred before Alison’s eyes.-She blinked quickly and managed to force back the tears. At nearly twenty, one didn’t weep openly.

‘Yes. I’m-terribly sorry,’ she said a little huskily. ‘Miss Graham’s secretary is a bit careless. I suppose she must have typed the wrong day.’

‘Well, of course, one doesn’t want to be unreasonable, but one does feel one has the right to expect a certain amount of accuracy about things like dates,’ Aunt Lydia said plaintively, with an air of fastening full responsibility on Alison. ‘It’s most terribly inconvenient, and I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.’

‘She speaks as though this were a three-roomed cottage,’ thought Alison. She felt desperately, sickeningly forlorn. It was really rather ridiculous to pretend that one inconspicuous niece made such a difference in this enormous house.

‘Well, sit down, child, now you’re here. Did you have a good journey?’ And then, before Alison could reply, she added, ‘Now, what am I going to do with you? You see, I have two very busy days in front of me, and I think I’m just going to have to ask you to make yourself quite scarce for the time being.’

‘Yes. I don’t mind. Really, I don’t mind.’ Alison was eager to make up for her resentment of a minute ago.

Her aunt smiled slightly but without a trace of warmth. ‘Like one of those electric fires that look like burning logs,’ thought Alison angrily, ‘and then when you hold out your hands to them there’s no heat at all.’

‘You had better have your tea in the schoolroom with Theo and Audrey,’ said Aunt Lydia thoughtfully. ‘Then there is your unpacking to do, and it won’t hurt you a bit to go to bed early to-night. In fact, the rest will do you good after your long journey.’

‘Are Theo and Audrey the twins?’ Alison asked.

‘Yes. They are nearly eleven now, you know. They both came home from school yesterday. Audrey fancies herself as something of an enfant terrible, I believe, but Theo is quite a nice child when Audrey doesn’t put ideas into his head.’

Aunt Lydia spoke as though they were the offspring of some remote acquaintance.

Just then the door opened and a tall, grey-haired man came in. Her aunt’s, ‘Oh, hello, Theodore,’ told her this must be her uncle, but she thought with surprise that he was not at all like the money-making Uncle Theodore of her imagination.

Thin, and with a rather long, melancholy face, he had much more the air of a student than of a successful financier. He stooped a little and had a slight air of perpetual weariness. But perhaps making enough money to satisfy Aunt Lydia was a weary business, thought Alison with youthful shrewdness.

‘Here is Alison arrived two days too early, Theodore,’ said Aunt Lydia. ‘It’s very inconvenient, but I suppose one must make the best of it.’

‘I don’t see why it should be inconvenient,’ retorted her husband a little disagreeably. ‘The house is surely big enough. How do you do, Alison?’ And even the formal politeness with which he took Alison’s hand was welcome after Aunt Lydia ’s utter lack of interest in her.

‘Thank you-I had a very good journey,’ Alison told him.

‘Well, it seems to me it is quite a good thing that you arrived to-day,’ her uncle said. ‘Now you’ll be in time for Rosalie’s party or dance or whatever it is she’s having this evening.’

Alison was aware of a peculiar quality in the few seconds’ silence which followed that. Then her aunt said smoothly, ‘I think Alison will be too tired after her journey to bother about parties on her first evening.’

‘Nonsense, my dear.’ Uncle Theodore’s voice was quite as smooth in return, and Alison was astounded to realise the current of antagonism running between her uncle and aunt. ‘A four hours’ journey couldn’t possibly tire anyone of Alison’s age. What is she? Nineteen? Twenty? Just the age to enjoy a party, and it’s a good opportunity for her to get to know the young set that come here.’

Aunt Lydia pressed her lips together, and Alison saw that she had no wish whatever for her niece to ‘get to know the young set’ or come to Rosalie’s party, or, in fact, do anything except make herself quite scarce, as she herself had said.

Alison was by nature rather slow to anger, but she had a streak of obstinacy that could do queer things with her usually sweet temper. And that streak began to make itself felt now, fortified by Uncle Theodore’s obvious disapproval of her aunt’s meanness. So that when her aunt said, ‘I don’t expect the child has a suitable dress or anything,’ she replied impulsively:

‘Yes, I have, Aunt Lydia, and I’d love to go to the party.’

After all, there was the dress she had worn at the last prize-giving. It wasn’t new, of course, but she did look nice in it.

‘Very well,’ Aunt Lydia said, and no one could have guessed-or, at least, Alison could not-whether she were annoyed or completely indifferent.

Without any further protest, she took her niece upstairs, first of all to the small but quite attractive, light room which was to be hers, and then along to what she called the schoolroom, where the twins were already having their tea.

‘Here is your cousin Alison,’ she explained, with that little smile which did not warm her eyes. ‘She is going to keep an eye on you during the holidays. I’ve noticed that you both need it. She will have her meals with you and go out with you when you go for walks, and so on.’

Then she turned to Alison again, as she stood there listening silently to this catalogue of her duties.

‘You had better make a good tea with the children now,’ she said. ‘Your uncle will be out this evening, and Rosalie and I shall be having something light in our own rooms, so there won’t be any proper dinner. Come down about half-past eight-if you’re quite sure you want to come.’

And, without any further attempt to make her niece feel at home, she went out, leaving Alison and the two children to take stock of each other.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence, and then Audrey said darkly, ‘I hope you aren’t going to spoil our holidays.’

But Alison was on familiar ground now, and knew how to deal with difficult little girls.

‘I hope not,’ she agreed. ‘And I hope you’re not going to spoil mine either. I’m only just home from school myself, and I’m as glad as you are that it’s holidays.’

‘Oh.’ Audrey looked extremely taken aback. ‘But you look quite old for school. How old are you?’

‘I think she isn’t young enough to be asked,’ observed Theo mildly.

Alison laughed. ‘I don’t mind. I’m nearly twenty… And I’m simply starving,’ she added.

‘Well, come and have tea,’ Audrey said with a faint show of cordiality, and Theo asked politely, ‘Shall I make you some toast?’

‘He nearly always burns it,’ Audrey interjected scornfully.

‘Never mind. I like it well done,’ Alison said, and watched, rather touched, while the little boy hacked a slice off the loaf with great solemnity and stuck it on the end of a toasting-fork.

‘They’re nice children, really,’ she thought. ‘And I’d rather have tea with them than with Aunt Lydia.’

They were a good deal alike-pale and stocky, with nondescript hair and well-set blue eyes, but without a trace of their mother’s beauty. They must have been something of a shock to her after the lovely Rosalie, Alison reflected absently.

But they were willing to be friendly, and to Alison, whose heart had been aching badly, that was extremely sweet.

‘Are you going to Rosalie’s party?’ Audrey asked, as they sat eating buttered toast and drinking milky tea.

‘Y-yes,’ Alison admitted a little doubtfully.

‘I suppose that’s because you’re a relation and not really a governess.’ Audrey spoke with an air of knowing all about the social arrangements of the household.

‘I suppose so.’

‘Have you got a nice dress?’ was the next question.

‘Fairly nice.’ Alison was beginning to wonder about the suitability of her dress after all.

‘It’s best not to have a very nice one,’ was Theo’s startling comment.

‘Why?’ Alison couldn’t help asking.

‘Because Rosalie always likes to have the best dress there,’ Audrey said promptly, and Theo nodded in agreement.

‘Oh.’ Alison felt apprehensive. But it didn’t seem quite right to let the children discuss Rosalie with her on these lines. So she merely said, ‘Rosalie is very pretty, isn’t she?’

‘She thinks so,’ said Audrey.

‘She is,’ said Theo at the same moment.

Alison thought it best to change the subject.

‘Have you always had a governess until now?’ she asked.

‘We did until Theo went to his prep. school, and then Mother said I’d better go to boarding-school, too.’ Audrey seemed to be the one who usually made the explanations. ‘Miss Kennedy-that was our last one-stayed on for a little while. I think she just did writing letters and that sort of thing for Mother in term time, and then of course she was there to spoil our holidays when we came home.’

Alison wondered uneasily whether this were to be her role in future: unpaid nursery governess in the holidays and general run-about for her exacting aunt at other times. Her heart sank a little further.

‘Can I come and help you unpack?’ Audrey asked.

‘If you like.’ Alison got up. ‘There isn’t a great deal to do, but I should like your company if Theo doesn’t mind being on his own.’

‘Oh, no, that’s all right, thank you,’ Theo said, and she thought they both looked rather touchingly gratified at having their wishes consulted.

It was perfectly true. She was glad of the little girl’s company. It helped to stem the tide of loneliness and fear which threatened more than once to engulf her.

‘Not that I don’t expect to stand on my own feet,’ Alison thought unhappily. ‘I didn’t expect to be made a fuss of, but it’s so-so blighting to feel on every hand that you’re a perfect nuisance.’

When everything was unpacked, Audrey took herself off to play draughts with Theo before going to bed.

When the little girl had gone, Alison sat on the side of her bed and stared out of the window at the trees in the square.

She was probably being a fool to think of going to that party to-night, she told herself. Aunt Lydia quite evidently hadn’t wanted her, and Alison felt instinctively that Rosalie’s welcome would be no warmer.

Better go quietly to bed and keep out of the way, accept at once the position which Aunt Lydia was firmly outlining for her. After all, she was only there on sufferance. And Aunt Lydia had evidently entirely forgotten the days when she had come home to Mother’s family and been welcomed at once as one of them.

But Uncle Theodore had spoken no less than the truth when he had said she was ‘just the age to enjoy parties’- and so few of them had come her way.

Alison might be scared and lonely and forlorn, but at the back of that the most distinct feeling of all was a very definite and obstinate desire to go to that party.

It seemed such a harmless wish, really. It couldn’t possibly matter to Aunt Lydia if just one quiet girl were added to her guests. And, on her first day out of school for more than two years, Alison found the prospect of an evening in her lonely little bedroom very disagreeable.

‘I’m going,’ she decided defiantly. ‘After all, Uncle Theodore obviously never thought of my doing anything else.’

Her spurt of bravery lasted while she was dressing, but when she was ready she went slowly over to the glass to see if her reflection would do anything to bolster up her fading courage.

The light was poor, and the room showed darkly behind her like the background of an old picture. Uncomfortably aware that she looked anything but smart or ‘with it,’ Alison wondered if perhaps the girl in the glass looked a little bit like an old-fashioned picture with her long, fair hair and childish fringe.

The simple white dress which had seemed so pretty when she had gone up in it to receive ‘First Prize in English Literature, and Second in European History’ didn’t somehow suggest a smart London party, however small and informal.

‘But I don’t care. I’m going,’ Alison told herself in a husky but determined whisper.

And two minutes later she was descending the wide, shallow stairs with a firmness she was far from feeling.

A friendly servant in the hall below volunteered the information that ‘madam is in the long drawing-room’, and pointed out the door to her.

Long was the right word, thought Alison with dismay as she stood at the door and saw, across terrifying vistas of space, Aunt Lydia-a picture of slender elegance in the most beautiful black evening dress she had ever seen.

The girl in the short ice-blue dress who was leaning her arm on the mantelpiece and looking down into the fire must, of course, be Rosalie.

At Alison’s entry, her aunt gave a slight exclamation, and Rosalie turned. Her eyes were ice-blue too, and her hair, which seemed to be gathered together on her beautifully poised little head in a careless pile of curls, was a wonderful shade somewhere between auburn and bronze.

She didn’t say a single word of greeting as she watched her young cousin all the way across the long drawing-room. Then Aunt Lydia said:

‘Is that the only dress you have, Alison?’

‘Yes.’ Alison felt the colour deepen in her cheeks.

‘Oh, dear.’ Her aunt’s air suggested that things had really become too much for her.

‘What’s the matter with it?’ Alison wished that nervousness wouldn’t make her sound so rude.

‘Nothing,’ Rosalie said, speaking at last in a slow, cool voice. ‘Nothing at all-except that it’s rather like a nightdress.’

Fury suddenly burnt up Alison’s nervousness.

‘Thank you,’ she said swiftly. ‘To dear Alison, with love from Cousin Rosalie, I suppose?’

‘Now, don’t bicker, girls,’ Aunt Lydia said without the slightest show of interest. ‘The dress is dreadfully unfortunate, of course, but, well-’ She shrugged.

‘At least it shows which of us is the poor relation, you mean,’ retorted Alison, whose temper was getting out of hand.

‘But that’s just it,’ drawled Rosalie, looking all over her in a way that made her wince. ‘Who wants poor relations hanging about? They’re always so embarrassing, and quite dreadfully in the way.’

‘Hush, Rosalie,’ said her mother mildly, while the furious, incredulous tears started into Alison’s eyes. She was no match for Rosalie in a duel of this sort, and, with a little gasp of anger and misery, she turned to rush out of the room and upstairs again.

But at that moment the first of the guests began to arrive, and it was impossible to make her escape.

Alison scarcely knew what she said in answer to the one or two perfunctory remarks which were made to her. In each case her aunt had introduced her carelessly as, ‘My little niece, Alison, just home from school.’ And her tone of tolerant boredom would have prevented anyone from wishing to make the little niece’s acquaintance.

It’s too bad of her,’ thought Alison wretchedly. ‘Making me sound like a schoolgirl.’ It had been difficult enough being deliberately kept at school until one was twenty, without being made to feel like a child among grown-ups now.

Oh, why, why had her aunt and cousin said such cruel and hurting things? They had not only destroyed any pleasure she could have in the party; they had destroyed every bit of confidence and poise she had.

She knew she was smiling too much, from sheer nervousness, but the muscles of her face seemed beyond her control, and she kept on finding herself with her back almost pressed against the wall. It required a real physical effort to launch herself among the gay, laughing, chattering crowd. And when she did, no one took the slightest notice of her.

They all appeared to know each other-called each other by Christian names or preposterous nicknames, exchanged quick-fire repartee, not perhaps specially witty, but all bearing the hall-mark of their own particular type and language. They were well dressed, stylish, absolutely sure of themselves.

‘It’s no good. I ought never to have come,’ thought Alison desperately. ‘I’m the most utter, utter outsider among them.’

She was back again by the wall, half hidden by the curtain of a long window, burning with the shame of her own inadequacy. She wondered if her aunt would be unbearably amused and triumphant if she slipped away to the solitary safety of her own room. It would be a terrible hauling down of her flag, of course, but that chilly little room which had seemed so lonely before appeared like a haven of refuge now.

Alison glanced across the room. Aunt Lydia was leaning back in her chair, sipping a drink and smiling up at a tall man beside her. The odd thing was that he wasn’t smiling at all in return, although Aunt Lydia ’s manner verged on ingratiating.

With an interest that was a slight check to her own personal misery, Alison watched him until he turned a little so that she could see him almost full face.

He was older than most of the men there-thirty at least, dark, powerful, and unusually good-looking.

‘Not specially good-tempered,’ thought Alison, who was, without knowing it, quite a shrewd judge of people. ‘Certainly not a "drawing-room man". I wonder why Aunt Lydia ’s making such a fuss of him?’

But perhaps Aunt Lydia was not exactly making a fuss of him, because just then he flushed slightly at something she said, and looked up with an arrogant little lift of his eyebrows, and Alison saw how startlingly light his grey eyes were against the dark skin of his face.

She hadn’t taken ‘First Prize in English Literature’ for nothing, and she thought suddenly, with an odd little feeling of amusement, ‘He has what the Victorian novelists used to call "a flashing eye"!’

But just then someone turned on the radio, someone appeared and whisked away the rugs from the polished floor, and the animated groups began to break up into equally animated couples.

With an instinctive bid for safety, Alison slipped right behind the curtain into the deep embrasure of the window. She didn’t know which would be more awful-to stand about as a perpetually smiling wallflower while everyone else danced, or to be forced to try out what was, after all, only schoolgirl dancing among these incredibly finished young people.

It was cold here by the window, and she shivered in the despised frock. She was conscious of weariness too, after the strain of the last few hours, and there was nowhere to sit down. She stood first on one weary foot and then on the other.

‘A good opportunity for her to get to know the young set,’ Uncle Theodore had said. And ‘just the age to enjoy parties.’ She felt her mouth quiver perilously as she thought of the fiasco it had all been, and clamped her little white teeth down hard on her lower lip. She wouldn’t cry-she wouldn’t.

Through the curtain the sounds of the music came to her and snatches of conversation: then something much more connected as Rosalie and someone else stopped beside the curtain.

‘She seems to have disappeared now,’ Rosalie said.

‘She means me,’ thought Alison, with a nasty prickle down her spine.

‘Does it matter?’ That was the dark-eyed, rather feverish-looking youth who had been paying Rosalie so much attention during the evening.

‘No. Except that I rather wanted to plant Bobbie Ventnor on her. He’s quite tight already, and I’d like to see her cope with him. It would be funny to have him trying out some of his really fruity stories, with her all blushing and shocked in her little white nightie.’

‘I hate her! Oh, I do hate her!’ thought Alison passionately, clenching her hands.

‘Yes-where did she get that funny little thing she’s wearing?’ Rosalie’s companion sounded bored and faintly disgusted.

‘I don’t know. I imagine she made it herself.’ And they both laughed as they moved off again.

‘I must get away,’ Alison thought wildly. ‘I don’t care what Aunt Lydia thinks-I don’t care what anyone thinks. I hate them all. I must get away.’

She peeped round the curtain. It wasn’t so far to the door and the way was fairly clear.

Two seconds… three seconds… and she had slipped through the crowd and gained the comparative quiet of the hall. Her foot was actually on the bottom stair when she heard two girls come laughing along the upper landing. Panic seized her, and she fled across the hall. Wrenching open the nearest door, she slipped inside the room and closed the door behind her.

The room was in darkness except for the firelight which flickered upon rows and rows of books. This must be the library. She would be safe here. None of those cruel, careless people would find anything to interest them in a library.

She groped forward past the dark shapes of chairs and tables, the sobs rising thickly in her throat. Kneeling down on the rug, she spread out her cold hands to the warmth. The tears began to come, and little quivering sounds of grief broke the heavy stillness of the room.

She wasn’t defiant or even hopeful any more. She was lonely and heartsick and humiliated.

‘What is the matter?’

Alison started violently at the sound of the deep, quiet voice. She dashed her tears away with the back of her hand and stared round. A man was sitting quite near her, leaning back in a deep armchair and watching her-the man who had been talking to Aunt Lydia.

He looked neither amused nor specially concerned. He was merely waiting for her reply.

Alison stared down at the rug in silence. But some sort of answer had to be made, so at last she said rather sulkily, ‘It’s-it’s my dress.’

‘Your dress?’ He looked slightly surprised. ‘What’s wrong with your dress? It seems to me like any other dress.’

‘Well, no one else seems to think so. They think it’s like a-a nightdress.’ Alison’s voice quivered again.

‘Suppose you stand up and let me see it properly?’ he said, apparently giving the matter all his grave attention.

Alison stood up, and he stood up too, towering above her in the firelight.

‘It’s longer than the current fashion, of course,’ he said, considering her. ‘But I don’t know that it is any the less attractive for that. After all, "the correct thing" is always merely a matter of period. In fact’-for the first time a slight smile touched his mouth-’you look rather like a little early Victorian heroine.’

‘Do I?’ A slow, pleased smiled lifted the corners of Alison’s mouth. Then she laughed suddenly. ‘Why, how funny! And I thought-’ She stopped abruptly and coloured.

‘What did you think?’

‘Oh, nothing.’ Alison looked a little confused.

‘Please tell me.’

‘I thought just now-in the other room-that you were rather like a Victorian hero.’

‘I? Good God, do I suggest mutton-chop whiskers and valentines?’

‘Oh, no!’ Alison’s laugh was shocked. ‘Only you have- you have what they used to call "a flashing eye".’

‘Indeed!’ He looked extremely astonished and not specially pleased. ‘And pray when did you see me flashing my eyes?’

‘Please don’t be cross.’ Alison touched his arm rather pleadingly, which also seemed to astonish him greatly. ‘It was just that I thought my aunt said something which angered you.’

‘Your aunt?’

‘Yes. Mrs. Leadburn. I’m Alison Earlston, her niece.’

‘Then why haven’t I seen you before?’ he asked abruptly. Alison was surprised to find how pleased she was at the implication that he came to the house often.

‘I only arrived to-day,’ she explained.

‘I see. So you’re Rosalie’s cousin-and this is your first day here?’

‘Yes.’

‘And she did nothing whatever towards introducing you to the others or putting you at your ease?’ There was a faintly grim look about his mouth now.

‘N-no,’ Alison felt bound to admit.

‘Of course not.’ He stared thoughtfully at her for a moment as though he were considering something very carefully. ‘Very well, then,’ he said. ‘You must let me repair the omission.’

‘What do you mean?’ Alison shrank a little at any hint of going back among the others.

‘I mean-will you please come and dance with me now?’ he said with a rather charming little bow to her. ‘And let me introduce you to the one or two less poisonous among the others.’

‘Oh, no-please-I think I’d rather not go back.’

‘If you would do it-to please me.’ He smiled full at her suddenly, and Alison was astounded to see how it changed his face. There was no doubt about that smile warming his eyes, and for a moment it gave an air almost of sweetness to his firm, uncompromising mouth.

‘I’m afraid mine is only rather schoolroom dancing,’ she said shyly.

‘It doesn’t matter. There’s no need to do anything complicated.’

‘All right, I’ll come,’ Alison said. Then she looked up. ‘Do I-do I look as though I’d been crying?’ He examined her face judicially in the firelight.

‘I think you’d better dry your eyelashes a bit,’ he advised.

‘Oh.’ Alison searched unsuccessfully for her handkerchief.

He produced his without a word and handed it to her.

Alison laughed a little and dried her eyes. ‘Thank you very much. I don’t know what I’ve done with mine. I always lose it when I haven’t a pocket. There doesn’t seem anywhere to put it.’

‘No,’ he agreed politely, ‘it must be a problem.’ Alison wondered a little if he were laughing at her. But, even if he were, it didn’t hurt.

She went back with him into the other room. He put his arm carelessly but firmly round her, and she found herself drawn into the throng, dancing easily, lightly, happily. It was all so much simpler than she had expected.

‘Enjoying yourself?’ He bent his head for a moment to look at her.

‘Oh, yes!’

‘Well, then, you must smile a little and look happy,’ he told her. ‘That’s part of the-the campaign.’

‘Is it?’ Alison laughed, and looked up to see that he was smiling too. It was an extraordinarily attractive smile, she thought.

His whole air of interested attention was indescribably soothing after the earlier humiliations, and Alison suddenly felt passionately grateful to him.

‘I’ll always remember this, and like him,’ she told herself. ‘I wonder who he is?’

Somebody rather important, she thought, for, as they passed Aunt Lydia, Alison saw her look their way with slight astonishment not unmixed with displeasure.

‘You dance very well,’ her partner said just then. ‘With a little practice you will be a beautiful dancer.’ He spoke without a hint of the patronage which had been meted out to her ever since she had arrived. He was merely stating a fact.

Alison coloured, and looked her pleasure.

‘You’re being most terribly kind to me,’ she said.

‘Oh, no.’ He smiled down at her-that smile for which Alison was already beginning to watch. ‘You are very easy to be kind to, you know.’ And Alison felt that her happiness was complete, because it was at that very moment that they passed Rosalie.

The momentary surprise on Rosalie’s face was at least equal to that of her mother; the displeasure was very much deeper. Alison would have been more than human if she hadn’t enjoyed that moment intensely.

And all the rest of the evening she was made pleasantly aware of her new friend’s half careless but very efficient championship. No one had any chance of being rude or unkind to her again. He introduced her to several people- he appeared to know everyone-but she had the impression that behind his choice of partners for her was very real care and thought.

It was right at the end of the evening that he said to her, ‘I shall probably look in to-morrow, so I shall see you then.’

Alison was staggered at the implication that he intended to continue his role of protector and friend.

‘But really,’ she said earnestly, ‘it’s too kind of you. You needn’t bother, you know.’

He looked rather coldly surprised at that, she thought; and said, ‘Naturally I shall expect to see a good deal of you now.’

Alison didn’t know quite what to make of this.

She watched him go over and say a slightly formal good night to her aunt and Rosalie, and then he came back to her.

‘ Good night.’ He took her hand. ‘And sleep well-after your rather complex first day.’

‘Good night. And thank you-thank you, more than I can possibly say,’ Alison replied eagerly.

‘No, no. Not at all.’ He dismissed that at once.

Then, just as he turned away, she put her hand on his arm and said shyly, ‘You haven’t told me your name, you know. Won’t you tell me before you go?’

He turned back and looked at her in blankest astonishment.

‘But I thought you knew. At least, I assumed you did-I don’t know why. I’m Julian Tyndrum-Rosalie’s fiancé:’

CHAPTER II

‘ROSALIE’’S fiancé!’ Alison could keep neither the astonishment nor the dismay from her face.

‘Certainly. Why not?’ The slight touch of evident displeasure brought her to her senses.

‘Oh, nothing-no reason at all,’ Alison said quickly, and turned away.

Rosalie’s fiancé! No wonder her cousin had looked so much annoyed. No wonder she had assumed that little possessive air towards him. And Aunt Lydia, too-her surprise and resentment were explained now.

The only thing that was not explained was the attitude of Julian Tyndrum himself. Why on earth should he deliberately have gone out of his way to irritate his fiancée? Or had he some sort of rigid social code which made him consider it essential that he should repair Rosalie’s omissions?

‘If so, he’s going to have his hands full,’ thought Alison bitterly. But, in any case, the whole problem had suddenly become too much for her tired mind to tackle just then.

A little apprehensively she went to say good night to her aunt and cousin.

‘Good night, Alison,’ Aunt Lydia said. Then, as she was turning away, ‘Oh, and, Alison dear, I know you’re only a schoolgirl yet’-Alison gritted her teeth-’but you will have to learn that it’s not quite good form to make yourself so conspicuous.’

‘I shouldn’t blame her too much, Mother,’ Rosalie said tolerantly. ‘If Julian sets out to turn a girl’s head he usually succeeds. You couldn’t expect Alison to be proof against it.’

Without a word Alison went out of the room. She couldn’t trust herself to speak in this rush of anger and dislike which came over her almost every time her cousin addressed her.

Very wearily she climbed the stairs. When she had been dancing and talking so happily with Julian Tyndrum, she had forgotten even to think about being tired. But now the reaction had set in. All the hours of strain and tension seemed to gather together in one heavy burden that pressed upon her.

‘Alison, is that you?’

For a moment she was tempted to ignore the cautious whisper from Audrey’s room. Then she went to the door.’

‘Yes. What is it?’

‘Come in a minute. I want to hear about the party.’

‘You ought to be asleep,’ Alison protested feebly, but she came in.

Audrey was sitting up in bed, and even the dim light did little to disguise the determined interest of her face.

‘I’ve been asleep,’ she said. ‘But I woke up with the noise of everybody going.’ Then almost immediately she added, ‘You look awfully pretty in that dress, though it’s not a bit like an evening dress. Did you enjoy yourself?’

‘Yes, thank you.’

It was true. She had enjoyed herself in the end, thanks to the kindness of one person. Strange to think that that one person was engaged to anyone so spiteful as Rosalie.

‘You must go to sleep again now,’ she said.

‘I’m very thirsty. Do you think I could have a drink?’ The resourceful Audrey knew all there was to know about prolonging conversations.

Alison remembered the old dodge, too, but she went over and poured out a glass of water for the little girl.

‘Here you are.’

‘Thank you.’ Audrey drank with convincing eagerness. ‘Was Julian there?’ she asked suddenly.

‘Yes.’

‘I like Julian.’ There was no mistaking Audrey’s approval. ‘Did you?’

‘He seemed very nice,’ Alison agreed carefully.

‘He is. Much too nice for Rosalie,’ said Rosalie’s young stepsister. But Alison refused to take up this challenge, and so she asked, between gradually lengthening sips, ‘Did you dance with him?’

‘Yes.’

‘How many times?’

‘Oh, several times,’ Alison said carelessly.

‘Several times?’ The pretence of thirst was abruptly abandoned. ‘I bet Rosalie was wild, wasn’t she?’

‘Don’t be silly, Audrey.’ Alison spoke severely. ‘I imagine Mr. Tyndrum was kind enough to feel some social responsibility as-a-as a sort of relation.’

‘I don’t imagine anything of the kind,’ retorted Audrey, reluctantly yielding up the empty glass to Alison’s firm hand. ‘They had an awful row this afternoon, and for once he got his own back on her, instead of the other way round.’

Alison was half-way across the room, the glass in her hand. She stopped suddenly and said in a funny, stifled little voice, ‘What are you talking about?’

‘It’s always happening,’ Audrey said, lying down and pulling the clothes over her. ‘Rosalie loves making rows because it makes her feel important. Then she flirts with someone else, and Julian’s silly enough to be miserable and jealous, so that in the end it’s he who does all the apologising. I’m jolly glad he turned the tables this time and made a fuss of another girl.’

For a second Alison felt unable to move. Then she slowly put down the glass as though it were very heavy.

‘Good night, Audrey. Go to sleep now.’ She went towards the door, hardly hearing the little girl’s sleepy ‘Good night’ in reply. Very quietly she closed the door behind her.

It was quite a short distance to her own room really, but somehow it seemed a long way to carry anything so heavy as her heart.

She didn’t put on the light at first, for the curtains were still drawn back, and the moon shone right into the room. She went slowly over to the window, and stood staring out at the cold black and silver of the moonlit square.

He had just used her to make Rosalie jealous.

Alison leant her forehead against the window, pressed it there until she could feel the stinging, icy glass through her thick fringe.

How easy it was to make a fool of yourself when you were lonely! You snatched at the faintest bit of kindness and read all sorts of things into it.

A dozen little memories came back to hurt her. He’d said it was easy to be kind to her. It had seemed such a sweet compliment at the time, and had made her so happy. Now she saw he had probably been thinking that anyone so silly as herself simplified his plan of campaign.

She winced sharply. He had actually used that word himself, and had smiled as he said it-while she had been silly enough to suppose it had been something on her own behalf.

And then she had assured him clumsily that he must not bother to come to the house because of her. No wonder he had looked astonished and chilly!

‘Oh, whatever sort of a fool must he think me?’ muttered Alison wretchedly as she turned away from the window, chilled and a little stiff: ‘Anyway’-she pressed her unsteady lips together angrily-’I don’t think much of him either. It was a beastly thing to do.’

And she kept up her anger against him all the while she was undressing.

She expected to lie awake, anxious and tormented with worry. But the moment her head was on the pillow she fell asleep-to dream of Julian Tyndrum.

There was a tremendous reception being held somewhere, and Aunt Lydia kept on saying, ‘You can’t possibly go. You’ve nothing decent to wear, and everybody would be ashamed of you.’

And then Julian was there, and he said in his careless, arrogant fashion, ‘Oh, yes, she can. I’ll put the cloak of my protection round her and then she can go.’ And, to Alison’s astonishment, the cloak was a real one-long and magnificent and lined with fur, like the cloak of a Victorian hero.

She snuggled into its wonderful folds, and the fur was so soft and enveloping that it warmed her right through to her very heart. And that was the end of the dream, because she forgot all about going to the reception in the happiness of wearing Julian’s cloak.

The next day, any doubts left on the subject of Alison’s exact position in the household began to be cleared up. She breakfasted with the twins, went out with the twins in the morning, lunched with the twins. Theoretically the after(d)noon was to be her own-to be spent, apparently, either in her own room or else somewhere vaguely described as ‘out’.

On this occasion, however, her aunt came into the schoolroom directly after lunch and said, ‘Alison, my dear, I wonder if you’d come and give me a hand with my correspondence. It’s piled up so much lately. And there arc one or two’ small items of shopping you can do for me. I expect you will be glad of something to do.’

Alison came quite willingly. Her aunt had not done a single thing to make her feel happy or at home since she came into the house. But, on the other hand, Uncle Theodore had maintained her for nearly three years, and he was Aunt Lydia ’s husband. She had an uncomfortable suspicion that duty rather than humanity had moved him to do so, but that didn’t lessen her anxiety to show her gratitude.

In addition-though this, of course, was not at all important-was the feeling at the back of her mind that she would rather be out of the way if Julian called. She didn’t want to see him. She felt passionately that she never wanted to see him again. It wasn’t only that she was so embarrassed as she remembered last evening. She felt angry, too, and quite unbearably hurt.

So she sat in her aunt’s little study and conscientiously wrote answers to invitations, notes about accounts, and a few-a very few-letters to accompany cheques for charity.

At four o’clock her aunt looked in and said, ‘You had better go out now, Alison, or you won’t be back in time for schoolroom tea at five. You can finish those to-morrow.’

Alison was not too simple to see that a good many to-morrows of this sort stretched in front of her. But she did what she was told, thankful to escape from the house.

It was a blowy day in early April, but strangely warm after the chill of yesterday, and insensibly Alison felt her spirits rise. It had been rather stupid of her really to keep on trying to analyse people’s actions and attribute this and that motive to them.

Julian might have had some faint idea of showing Rosalie she couldn’t have things all her own way, but, undoubtedly too, he had wanted to be kind to her. He’d shown it in a dozen different ways. She was rather guiltily surprised to find that her thoughts had come back to him, but perhaps it was only natural since he was the only one to show the slightest personal concern about her welfare since she had arrived.

After all, if Julian liked to offer her some degree of friendship she would be more than glad to have it. But, beyond that, her cousin’s fiancé really had nothing to do with her.

Her business was to see that she attended to her aunt’s commissions as carefully and dutifully as possible, and reached home in time for schoolroom tea, as Aunt Lydia had said.

It was odd, but not at all unpleasant, to be sauntering along the streets and in and out of shops, with no one’s wishes but her own to consult until five o’clock.

For the first time she felt she had really left schooldays definitely behind her. Even Aunt Lydia ’s little spiteful pretence couldn’t make her into a schoolgirl again. She was an individual, with a life of her own before her-no longer one of a class.

It was impossible not to feel rather elated at the thought, and, in between carefully carrying out her aunt’s various instructions, Alison allowed her thoughts to wander a little to the possible future.

Since Uncle Theodore had been willing to pay for the rest of her schooling, perhaps he would have no objection to allowing her some sort of training for a job. It was rather dreadful, of course, to have to think of spending more of his money already, but, on the other hand, it would cost less in the end to let her be trained for something that would make her independent.

‘Even something very modest,’ Alison thought humbly. ‘I wouldn’t mind what it was, so long as it meant I didn’t have to sponge on them any longer.’

She hoped guiltily that it was not very ungrateful of her, but already the thought of anything that would take her away from her aunt and Rosalie seemed very attractive.

As she came into the hall on her return, the beautiful old German wall-clock struck five. Only just in time. And she must find her aunt first and tell her she had managed to match that silk for her.

She glanced into the dining-room. It was empty.

She hesitated a moment. Perhaps Aunt Lydia was in the library, having tea served there. She went over and opened the door quietly, in case there were any people there and it would be best for her to beat an unobtrusive retreat.

Tea was not being served in the library. Nor was Aunt Lydia there. But two other people were-Julian and Rosalie. And they were much too much absorbed to notice anyone else.

Alison stood there for a moment, transfixed by the sight of her cousin caught close in Julian’s arms. Rosalie was laughing a little, and he was looking down at her with an angry tenderness that was like nothing Alison had ever seen. ‘

‘Why do you do these awful things?’ she heard him say with a sort of impatient pain in his voice. ‘You know you make me sick with misery.’

And then Rosalie slid her arm round his neck, and the next moment he was kissing her all over her face.

Alison closed the door silently and fled upstairs as though something frightening were behind her. She was short of breath when she reached her room, and was astonished to find she was trembling.

It was no business of hers. She had no right to have witnessed that scene. ‘I wish I hadn’t,’ she whispered agitatedly. ‘I wish I hadn’t.’

But that wasn’t the principal thought in her heart. ‘How could she have laughed when he looked like that?’ she kept on thinking. ‘How can she hurt him so, and enjoy it?’ And then, with a heat and bitterness that appalled her: ‘I hate her!’

This was not like the quick, angry flash of temper when Rosalie had said unkind things about herself. It was something far deeper and more complicated. Something Alison couldn’t in the least explain-even to herself.

A little dazedly she put up her handkerchief and wiped her forehead, where it had gone slightly damp under her fringe.

‘I’d better go and see what the twins are doing,’ she said aloud, but it was a few minutes before her own voice seemed to reach her consciousness.

She didn’t go downstairs again until dinner-time, and then only her uncle and aunt were there. Neither of them took very much notice of her.

Her aunt said, ‘Alison will have to have some decent clothes,’ as though Alison herself were not present. And her uncle replied absently, ‘Of course. Get her whatever she needs.’

Alison, feeling a little bit like a foundling, murmured, ‘Thank you.’ And that closed the subject.

It appeared that Uncle Theodore was going abroad the next day. Alison was sorry. She had an idea that in a domestic crisis Uncle Theodore would display an impartial justice that might be useful. But she gathered from the conversation that he spent a good deal of time travelling on business, so perhaps it was as well not to count much on his problematical support.

Towards the end of the meal he looked up and said, ‘Where is Rosalie?’ as though he had only just noticed her absence.

‘Out with Julian.’ Aunt Lydia ’s tone was laconic.

Her husband gave a short laugh. ‘Which is it to-day, a quarrelling or a making-up?’ And then, as Aunt Lydia took no notice of that, ‘I can’t imagine how a man with such a business head can be a complete fool about a bit of a girl like Rosalie.’

‘It’s often the way,’ said Aunt Lydia calmly.

‘Well, there won’t be so much scope for her playing fast and loose like this once they’re out in South America.’

Aunt Lydia again made no reply, and, after a moment, Alison forced herself to say:

‘Is Rosalie going to live in South America when she’s married?’

‘I suppose so.’ Her aunt shrugged. ‘Julian’s firm have very big interests out there, and he expects to take over full management at the end of the year. I can’t say I like the idea of Rosalie’s going, but she has never listened to anyone else’s advice in her life, and I suppose one can’t expect her to start now.’

‘Rosalie never consulted anyone’s wishes but her own about anything at all,’ observed Uncle Theodore.

And that, too, Aunt Lydia left unanswered.

As time went on, Alison found this was a very fair specimen of her day. Nearly always Rosalie was out in the evening, and quite often her aunt was too, but it was the rarest thing for them to take Alison with them.

Her uncle was away more often than not, and, even when he was in London, he frequently dined at his club, and his family saw practically nothing of him. The arrangement appeared to suit both him and Aunt Lydia admirably.

When the others Were all out Alison "had her evening meal on a tray in the schoolroom, and made what she could of her own company. It was a poor life for a girl of her age, and, when the holidays came to an end, and the twins departed to school once more, she became really frightened of the loneliness.

Audrey and Theo had both displayed quite unusual emotion at parting, and Alison realised how much she was going to miss them. She promised fervently to look after Audrey’s kitten and Theo’s tortoise, and to send weekly bulletins of their health. But, remembering the unfulfilled promises of her own schooldays, she didn’t expect much in the nature of replies to her letters. Nor did she receive them.

It was the departure of the twins which finally made her take her courage in her hands and tackle Aunt Lydia about her future.

‘Aunt Lydia, please don’t think I’m ungrateful or anything,’ she said one evening, trying to make it sound as casual and natural as possible, ‘but do you think that instead of sponging on you I could do something about finding a job?’

‘A job?’ Her aunt looked surprised. ‘What sort of a job?’

‘Well-secretarial or-or teaching or something.’

‘But you’re not qualified to do anything of the sort, Alison.’ Her aunt sounded faintly irritated at Alison’s stupidity.

‘Not exactly. But couldn’t I-I mean-do you think Uncle Theodore would let me have some sort of training? Nothing-nothing very expensive, of course.’

Up went Aunt Lydia ’s beautiful, clear-cut eyebrows.

‘I don’t think you realise, Alison, that your uncle has a great many calls on his money. You’ve already been quite a big expense to him, you know. And you seem to forget, my dear, that you’re not really any relation of his at all. In a way it’s all been charity.’

Alison went hot all over.

‘I do realise it, Aunt Lydia. That’s just it,’ she explained desperately. ‘I thought if I could have some sort of definite training I could be self-supporting and-and not dependent on charity any more.’

‘I don’t see how it’s to be done,’ her aunt said calmly. ‘It’s a very expensive year for us, with Rosalie’s wedding coming along in the autumn or winter.’

‘But if I got a job I shouldn’t be an expense at all,’ Alison pleaded. ‘I could live on my own and-and-’

‘My dear child, I don’t think it’s very gracious of you to talk as though we’ve grudged you a home.’ Aunt Lydia shamelessly reversed all her arguments. ‘Your uncle and I are perfectly willing to have you here, and I must say that you are not showing very much gratitude about it. I should have thought the only natural and kind thing to have done would have been to keep any little personal ambitions in check for the moment. If you’re really pining to do secretarial work, there are dozens of small jobs I should be only too thankful to have taken off my hands.’

It was at this point that Alison saw the complete futility of further argument.

A couple of days later, she managed to get up her courage once more to speak to her uncle. But, if possible, he was even more baffling, because he was kind about it.

‘Job?’ he said, looking even more surprised than her aunt had done. ‘Why ever should you have a job, my dear? You’re perfectly welcome to a home here until you get married. And, anyway, I don’t approve of women in business,’ he added unexpectedly.

‘Well, then, perhaps I could be a nurse or something,’ cried Alison in desperation. The thought of any decent independence was better than having to ask a grudging Aunt Lydia for the smallest trifle, and, in exchange, to be at her aunt’s beck and call in a way no paid secretary-companion would stand.

But her uncle laughed. ‘Nonsense, Alison. It’s a terribly hard life unless you’re specially suited to it, and you don’t look particularly strong to me. There are plenty of things for you to do enjoying yourself j or I dare say you can help your aunt in small ways if you want to.’

‘But that isn’t quite it,’ Alison explained patiently. ‘It isn’t as though I’m even really your niece, Uncle Theodore. It’s-it’s like taking charity.’

He gave her an odd look. ‘Nor is Rosalie really my daughter,’ he remarked drily. ‘Yet I notice she takes much more of my charity, as you call it, without a qualm. But you’re a good child.’ He patted her shoulder not unkindly. ‘I appreciate your nice independence. But, believe me, my dear, I can well afford to keep you, and I am happy to do so. I don’t know what allowance your aunt gives you, because it goes in with Rosalie’s and the twins’, but I don’t think it can be excessive.’

It was the first Alison had heard of any allowance at all. She was not, however, specially surprised to learn that Aunt Lydia was deliberately exploiting the arrival of the penniless niece in order to increase her own allowance-or perhaps Rosalie’s. Alison was beginning to understand Aunt Lydia very well.

But, aware now, as she was, of her uncle’s excellent intentions, she couldn’t possibly make trouble by disclosing the real situation. And she shrank from saying anything to suggest that she had ever even expected any allowance.

In theory, his generosity made everything simple. In practice, Aunt Lydia ’s meanness hedged her in on every side.

The problem was too much for Alison. It looked as though she were inexorably condemned to the status of unpaid secretary-companion, with the.duties of nursery-governess thrown in-a prospect to terrify any girl of twenty. But then perhaps poor relations must not expect anything else.

It was inevitable, of course, that in the long periods of loneliness she should find her thoughts turning again and again to Julian. His extraordinary kindness to her on her first evening-whatever the motives-was the only really exciting thing that had happened to her. And sometimes she wondered if she had imagined half of that. He certainly seemed to have forgotten all about his half-promise ‘to see a good deal of her.’

And then one evening, towards the end of a hot, airless May, Alison was unexpectedly included in a theatre party -and Julian was there.

She saw him just before the play began, towering over the heads of the people near him. He saw her, too, and smiled slightly at her and bowed.

She was ridiculously, shamelessly conscious of him during the whole of the first act. He was sitting one row in front of her, a little to the side. By turning her head very slightly, she found, she could see his keen, absorbed face in the light from the stage. And after that the play seemed to lose a good deal of its interest for her.

In the first interval she sat there studying her programme with desperate concentration. Would he come and say a word to her? Just one word of greeting. Something different from her aunt’s pettiness or Rosalie’s spitefulness-or even her uncle’s formality.

Aunt Lydia and Rosalie had gone to speak to someone the other side of the theatre and she was quite alone. The seconds crept by. She counted them by the beating of her heart. Oh, it didn’t seem much to ask-just one word of greeting.

‘Well’-his deep, slightly amused voice sounded above her-’are you still following out the role of Victorian heroine and refusing to raise your eyes?’

She looked up then, and smiled as he took her hand.

‘I’m very glad to see you,’ she said simply.

‘Thank you, my child.’ He smiled too, then, very kindly. ‘And so am I glad to see you. Although’-he paused, and then said imperiously-’Look at me again.’

Alison’s startled eyes came back to his face.

‘I thought so.’ He frowned slightly. ‘You’re not looking as well as you should. What is it? Too many late nights?’

‘No!’ She spoke a little indignantly. When did he imagine she could have had late nights?

‘What then?’

But before she could frame any sort of reply her aunt came up, and then, a second later, Rosalie.

‘Hello, darling.’ Rosalie spoke perfectly casually, but she put her hand carelessly over Julian’s as it rested on the back of the seat.

Alison didn’t raise her eyes to his face again, but she watched those two hands. She saw his tighten and tighten under Rosalie’s light grasp, although all the time he was talking calmly to Aunt Lydia about the play. And then in one little, swift movement his hand turned and imprisoned Rosalie’s.

His. voice never altered at all, but when he took his hand away there were little white marks where his fingers had gripped Rosalie’s.

Alison heard her give the very faintest, satisfied laugh. And she thought again, ‘I hate her.’ Then she realised suddenly that she felt slightly sick.

When the curtain rose again she saw nothing of what was happening on the stage. She was dunking, ‘It’s awful to feel like this. It’s wicked, in a way, because he belongs to Rosalie, and it’s no business of mine how much she hurts him.’

But she went on hating Rosalie.

Afterwards they went on somewhere to supper, and; although the party was a big one, Alison had some faint hope that she might have a further word with Julian, and perhaps find out what he had meant by that casual reference to ‘late nights’.

But when they reached the restaurant Julian was naturally firmly annexed to Rosalie’s group, and there seemed little likelihood of Alison’s being permitted to join them.

Instead, she found herself marooned beside an elderly retired colonel whom she had heard someone describe rudely and audibly as ‘very Poona ’.

It seemed he was ‘somebody’s uncle’, but the nephew or niece in question appeared to have left him to make his own amusement. Alison felt sorry for him, particularly as he looked a bit lost and offended after the Poona remark.

She tried, a little timidly, to make conversation with him, but although he seemed grateful, it was rather hard going.

He said, ‘Most extraordinary,’ almost every time there was a burst of laughter at any of the cabaret jokes, and once or twice he asked Alison to explain things that were best left unexplained.

She struggled along bravely, however, knowing from bitter experience how blighting it was to be ignored and cold-shouldered by these people. She guessed that the colonel was sufficiently near the category of ‘rich relation’ to be given a duty invitation to a theatre party, but that to show him a little personal politeness and consideration was beyond the limits of trouble to which his hopeful heirs would go.

Alison by now had taken the full measure of the world to which her aunt and Rosalie belonged.

Once the colonel said, ‘You ought to be dancing with the young people, instead of sitting here talking to me.’

But Alison said hastily, ‘Oh, no, thank you. I’d rather talk, really.’ For, as neither her aunt nor her cousin ever took the trouble to introduce her to anybody at this sort of affair, she was usually humiliatingly free of partners.

Just possibly, of course, Julian would come over and ask her to dance, but, as it seemed to be one of the evenings when Rosalie was quite willing to be gracious to her fiancé, the probability was slight.

So instead Alison did her best to simulate a profound interest in the colonel’s reminiscences and his description of what this famous restaurant was like in the days when he was a subaltern home on leave in the twenties.

It was not the liveliest way of spending an evening, but she was extremely touched when it was time to go and he said to her:

‘Good night. I hope I shall meet you again. You’re a very nice child, and the first young person I’ve met with any pretensions to manners since I came home.’

It comforted her a little for not having spoken again to Julian. And, in any case, as she told herself again when she got into bed that night, it was certainly not for her to expect any special notice from her cousin’s fiancé.

The summer crept on in ever increasing heat. Airless and aimless.

Uncle Theodore was on the Continent, and quite often Aunt Lydia and Rosalie went into the country for the week-end. Very occasionally they took Alison, but much more often she was left behind.

Sometimes she used to tell herself that she preferred it so. The big house might be incredibly empty and lonely when she was left there by herself, but Aunt Lydia had a way of making her feel still lonelier if she came to any of the smart house-parties.

Alison tried not to think too much about it because she was afraid of losing her sense of proportion where her aunt and Rosalie were concerned, but she felt pretty sure that the uppermost idea in Aunt Lydia ’s mind was that no one should be allowed to detract from Rosalie’s social success.

And once or twice Alison had shown distinct signs of achieving a certain little popularity of her own.

It was after this that the invitations, as interpreted by Aunt Lydia, showed an increasing tendency to include only herself and Rosalie.

There was no appeal, of course, any more than there had been over the question of getting a job. And so Alison had to resign herself as best she could to large slices of her own exclusive company.

One Saturday, when she was quite alone, the telephone bell rang.

Alison took off the receiver.

‘Hello.’ She sounded more listless than she knew.

‘Mr. Tyndrum speaking,’ came Julian’s voice from the other end of the wire. ‘Can you tell me if I left my cigarette-case at the house yesterday afternoon? I have an idea I put it down on a table in the library. It’s a gold one, with the initials "J.T." in one corner.’

‘I-I’ll go and see,’ Alison said.

‘Just a moment.’ His tone changed suddenly. ‘Who is that speaking?’

‘It’s Alison,’ she said, and then wondered the next moment if she ought to have said ‘Miss Earlston’.

He didn’t seem to think so, however, because he immediately repeated her name with some pleasure.

‘Alison! I thought you were away. Why aren’t you with your aunt and Rosalie in Sussex?’

‘I-wasn’t asked.’

‘Weren’t you?’ The sudden gentleness in his voice made Alison bite her lip.

‘I’ll go and see if your case is there, if you’ll just hold on a minute.’

‘All right.’

She went into the library thinking, ‘And I didn’t even know he was here yesterday. It must have been when I went to fetch Aunt Lydia ’s rings from the jeweller’s.’

The case was there. She picked it up and held it rather close against her as she went back to the phone.

‘Hello. Your case is all right, I have it here.’ She suddenly pressed it absurdly against her cheek.

‘That’s good. I shouldn’t like to lose it. May I call in for it this afternoon, Alison?’

‘Yes-of course.’

‘Will you give me tea if I come about half past four? Or do the Victorian proprieties forbid it?’ She knew he was smiling.

‘I’ll have tea here for you at half past four.’

‘Good!’

When he had rung off, she stood there for a moment with the receiver still in her hand. Was it wicked to feel so happy at the mere thought of having him all to herself for perhaps a whole hour?

Of course it was. But what could she do about it?

He arrived punctually at half past four, and came into the library, where she was sitting rather solemnly behind her aunt’s small tea-table.

‘Well, Alison, this is very pleasant.’ He dropped into a chair opposite, and smiled at her as though he meant that.

‘Yes,’ said Alison. ‘Here is your cigarette-case.’ She handed it to him.

‘Thank you.’ He took it. ‘Why, it’s quite warm. Have you been holding it in case it should run away?’

‘No.’ She smiled gravely.

‘What then?’

‘I was just-holding it,’ she said lamely.

Alison was intent on pouring out the tea, so she missed the puzzled little look he gave her as he slipped the case into his pocket.

‘What have you been doing with yourself since I saw you last?’ he wanted to know.

‘Nothing very much,’ replied Alison with perfect truth.

‘Nothing? I thought you had become quite a popular young person-made your own set and that sort of thing. I understood that was why you were so difficult to get hold of.’

‘Did you?’ Alison slowly bit a piece of bread and butter, and wondered with sudden frightened misery if he were laughing at her.

Or perhaps, as he was without Rosalie for the week-end, he didn’t mind making up to her.

That thought hurt even more.

She sought for a careless conversational opening, but none presented itself.

‘Alison.’ He put down his cup. ‘Are your duties as a hostess weighing very heavily upon you-or is it that I have offended you over something?’

‘No,’ she said, not very lucidly.

‘Which question are you answering?’ he asked, smiling a little.

‘Both,’ replied Alison desperately.

‘I see.’ He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘So that you are perfectly at your ease, both as a hostess and as a friend?’

‘I-I don’t think you’re a friend,’ Alison was horrified to hear herself stammer.

‘Don’t you?’ He was completely serious now. ‘What have I done to forfeit your friendship-or did I never have it?’

Dead silence.

‘I wish you would answer me, Alison. I’m really rather disturbed about this. Didn’t you look on me as a friend that first evening?’

‘I didn’t understand then,’ Alison got out at last in a very low voice.

‘What didn’t you understand?’

She was aware of faint surprise at the back of her mind for the extreme patience of anyone who was usually so arrogantly impatient.

‘I didn’t understand why you did it. I do now.’

There was silence again for a moment, and then he said with an odd little note in his voice, ‘Why do you suppose I did it?’

If she could have thought of any lie in the world, she would have told it then. But she couldn’t. She could only think of the literal truth. And she said it.

‘You’d quarrelled with Rosalie, and you wanted to make her jealous by paying attention to another girl.’

This time the silence was a long one-and Alison found herself wishing wildly that she could faint.

Then he spoke at last, gravely and quietly.

‘Alison, I do most earnestly beg your pardon, because I think there was a little of that feeing at the back of my mind. But do please believe that my chief thought was something quite different.’

She couldn’t quite have said why, but she felt most exquisite relief at the way he put it. Somehow, his owning to having felt like that was better than a million protestations that no such thought had entered his mind.

‘What-what was your chief thought, then?’ she asked rather timidly.

‘I was so terribly sorry that you had been made to feel lonely and humiliated and-No, don’t look like that,’ he said, as Alison winced angrily.

‘I don’t want to be pitied as a sort of oddity,’ muttered Alison. She knew that must sound terribly ungracious, but she couldn’t help it.

He smiled-that extraordinarily sweet smile which had so astonished her before.

‘That wasn’t in my mind at all,’ he told her. ‘What really moved me was the fact that I knew exactly how you were feeling, because very much the same thing happened to me when I first came to England.’

‘To you! But it couldn’t! You’re so-so much one of them,’ Alison stammered.

‘My dear child, do you really suppose these people consider I’m "one of them"?’ He laughed a little, but, from his heightened colour and the slight quiver of his nostrils, Alison guessed that he hadn’t really liked saying that.

‘I don’t understand,’ she said.

‘No? Hasn’t Rosalie ever said anything about me?’ He spoke abruptly.

Alison shook her head.

‘I’ve never heard her speak about you at all.’

He didn’t say anything to that, but Alison suddenly knew she had hurt him a little by that clumsy admission.

‘It doesn’t matter.’ He sighed impatiently. ‘Only-It’s just that there is nothing of the British public school and university about me, you know. I spent the first twenty years of my life hundreds of miles from anywhere, in the wilds of Argentina.’

‘Did you?’ Alison opened her eyes very wide.

He nodded.

‘My father was a cattle drover,’ he added calmly.;A farmer in a small way, too. And I suppose that for most of my youth I never thought of being anything else either.’

Alison stared unbelievingly at him. She tried, without any success, to imagine the cool, perfectly groomed Julian Tyndrum, attired in riding-breeches and an open-necked shirt, riding across miles of prairies in pursuit of wandering cattle-or whatever cattle drovers were expected to do. She decided she was extremely vague about their duties in any case-and looked up to find him watching her with some amusement.

‘Well?’ he said.

‘Nothing-I was only thinking-there’s nothing at all about you to suggest that sort of life.’

‘Oh, yes, there is, Alison.’ He laughed a little. ‘There’s my disposition, my whole outlook on life-and my hands.’ He held them out calmly for her inspection.

Alison looked at them. Her first thought was that they were not hands which would hold anything very lightly, and then-’But I should never mind being held by them.’

‘I think they’re very nice hands,’ she said gravely, and touched one of them lightly.

He gave that slight laugh again, but she knew he was extremely pleased.

‘Tell me why you didn’t become a cattle drover or whatever it was, too,’ she said.

‘Because, the year that I was twenty, one of the big oil-prospecting companies made their way into our district- and their richest find was on the tiny piece of land owned by my father. They tried to persuade him to sell out for a large sum, but he insisted on an interest in the company instead.

‘Actually, his gamble was a fortunate one. In the end he made a great deal more than the original price he had been offered. Besides that, he sent me off to Buenos Aires to put a little polish on me, and then used his influence to get me into the company.’

‘It must have been a terrible break from your old life.’ Alison was touched and flattered at his telling her so much about himself.

Julian smiled. ‘Yes. I didn’t like it much at first. Not when I had to start right at the bottom, with all the routine stuff. But I expect the discipline did no harm. Besides, I soon began to find my feet and to go ahead.’

‘Uncle Theodore once said you have a wonderful business sense,’ Alison remarked rather solemnly.

He shrugged.

‘Yes,’ he agreed, quite calmly. ‘I have a certain flair for big effects which carries me a good way; and at the same time I don’t easily lose my head.’

‘No, I should think not.’ Alison spoke so earnestly that he looked amused again.

‘Anyway, I did very well in Buenos Aires for about five years. Then my father died, and of course I inherited his interest in the company. I was offered what amounted to a directorship at the London headquarters, and so for the first time in my life I came to England. And how I hated it!’

‘Oh-why?’ Alison was shocked and slightly put out.

‘Because I was not in the least "one of them", as you put it. I found myself a complete outsider in the social world to which my money and position admitted me. And-quite naturally, I suppose-I Was made to feel it.’

Alison made a little sound of sympathy. She touched his hand again in that small, friendly gesture, and this time his fingers closed round hers. There was no special significance in the clasp-nothing like the devastating time she had watched him grip Rosalie’s hand-but, all the same, it comforted and warmed her.

‘I can’t pretend I was anything but utterly impossible,’. Julian added thoughtfully. ‘I suppose any polish I had acquired-and it must have been little enough-was definitely un-English. In fact, I heard someone who disliked me describe me as "an objectionable mixture of dago and rough diamond".’

‘Whatever did you do?’ Alison asked curiously.

‘Knocked him down, of course. But he won really, because ever afterwards I went about with the perpetually nagging fear that there was something in what he had said.’

‘Well, there isn’t now.’ Alison spoke hotly. ‘Not a single trace of it.’

‘Thank you, Alison.’ Julian inclined his head with an amused expression. ‘As that is seven years ago, I venture to hope you are right. One should be able to learn most things in seven years. And yet’-she was astonished to see his face darken suddenly with a sort of angry melancholy-’there are times when Rosalie looks at me, and I wonder-’

Alison sat perfectly still, knowing that those last words had been scarcely meant for her, and that, for a moment, he had almost forgotten her existence.

Then he raised his head and seemed to see her again. He patted her hand and let it go.

‘So, you see, I knew just what you were feeling when you told me about being lonely and humiliated. And I couldn’t have turned my back on that.’

‘Did I really tell you-that?’ Alison asked with a slight smile.

‘No. But you cried at first-just a little, you know,’ he reminded her with odd gentleness. ‘And that told me a good deal. One doesn’t actually have to have shed tears to know what is behind them.’

‘Oh.’ Alison looked down, extremely moved.

‘Well, Alison?’

‘What?’ She looked up in that startled little way, to find his smile on her.

‘Am I forgiven?’

‘Why, of course.’ Alison smiled too.

‘Thank you,’ he said very gravely then.

There was a moment’s silence, and then he said, ‘I am sorry to have seen so little of you since that first evening, but you always seem to be out when I come. Then Rosalie explained to me how much in demand you were with your own set and-’

‘Rosalie told you that?’ Alison couldn’t keep her colour down.

‘Yes.’ He looked at her penetratingly and then said sharply, ‘Why not?’

‘Oh, nothing,’ Alison said, looking away from him.

After a long moment he said quietly, ‘I see.’ And Alison felt perfectly certain that he did.

But he made no other comment. He merely said, ‘Are you doing anything to-morrow, Alison?’

‘Oh, no.’ Alison’s surprise that he should suppose such a thing was more illuminating than she knew.

‘Then will you come for a drive with me? We could start early, and be right out in the country before the real heat of the day.’

Alison was silent, her hands locked together. The temptation to say ‘Yes’ was overwhelming, but some obscure instinct told her she was playing with particularly dangerous fire.

Julian looked faintly put out at her hesitation.

‘I thought I’d been forgiven,’ he reminded her teasingly, but she saw that he flushed slightly.

It was that flush which did it. Rosalie might hurt and humiliate him, thwart him and make him unsure of himself. It was beyond Alison to do the same for any reason, good or bad.

‘I’d love to come,’ she told him eagerly. ‘I’d simply love it.’

‘Very well.’ He smiled at her unexpected vehemence, and she could see he was wondering what had been behind her hesitation. ‘Is half-past eight too early for you?’

‘Oh, no. I’ll go to bed early,’ she told him.

‘All right. Go to bed early.’ He laughed kindly. And she had no idea that he carried away with him a picture that reminded him rather pathetically of a child on the day before a party.

When he had gone, Alison walked quietly up and down the library because she was too excited to sit still.

It was all wrong, of course, feeling like this because she was to spend a day with Rosalie’s fiancé. Only that afternoon she had reproached herself for her pleasure in the thought of an hour with him. Now she was brazenly rejoicing because she was to spend a whole day with him.

‘But I don’t care,’ she told herself passionately. ‘It’s only one day out of all his life. One day-and all the rest are Rosalie’s.’ And then, in a flash of unconvincing remorse, she thought, ‘Besides, perhaps it will rain.’

But she knew it wouldn’t rain-it couldn’t rain. Not on this one day out of all his life.

CHAPTER III

ALISON was ready and waiting when Julian arrived next morning-a morning which had dawned in cloudless perfection.

As they left London, the faint mist of morning still clung about the houses of the outer suburbs, like the last vestige of sleep about waking eyes. And Alison, sitting very quiet beside Julian in the big grey Daimler, thought how perfect life was.

Then, just as she was beginning to wonder if she ought to make some sort of conversation, he said:

‘What kind of breakfast did you have, Alison?’

‘Nothing very much. Why?’ Alison looked a little surprised.

‘I thought so. We will stop at the next place and you’ll have a proper meal.’

‘But I really don’t need it,’ she protested.

‘No? Well, perhaps I do,’ he said carelessly, and Alison was pleasantly aware that the matter had been taken out of her hands. It was a very long while since anyone had bothered about her having proper meals.

At the next likely-looking place he drew the car to a standstill, and they went in to have breakfast.

There was nothing overbearing about his attitude-in fact, most of the time he gave the impression of the most casual supervision. But, just as on that first evening, Alison was conscious of quiet, deliberate care for her behind that half indifferent manner.

And she was glad that it should be so.

Afterwards they went on, Julian driving fast, but with a sureness that left Alison without a qualm.

Along the white, dusty roads they sped, past fields where the corn was slowly turning golden, where poppies danced in the wind and cornflowers nodded to marguerites. And over it all hung the thick, sweet scent of clover lying warm in the sunshine.

Across the fields the cloud shadows trooped, following each other in endless procession on and on to the west. And, watching them, Alison thought, ‘Whenever I smell clover, and whenever I watch sun and shadow together, I shall think of this day again and be happy.’

‘Do I drive too fast for you, Alison?’ he said at last. ‘You’re very quiet.’

She roused herself a little. ‘No. I like it. Ought I to be talking?’

‘No, my child.’ He gave that thoughtful smile, but without turning his head to look at her. ‘You’re a very restful little presence, sitting there beside me. I only wondered what you were thinking of that kept you so silent.’

‘Oh.’ Alison coloured slightly at the compliment. ‘I was just trying to impress it all very clearly on my mind,’ she explained slowly, ‘so that afterwards I can be happy all over again when I think about it.’

Julian laughed softly.

‘There isn’t anything very dramatic for you to remember, I’m afraid. Just a car drive. You’ll soon forget it.’

‘Oh, no. Such a very happy car drive,’ she said shyly. ‘And I think happiness is the most lasting thing in the world.’

He frowned thoughtfully. ‘I don’t think I agree with you there.’

But Alison nodded firmly.

‘It’s true. Just think how you take out a pleasant memory and look at it over and over again; and it’s always bright. But the tragic ones grow dim and lose their outlines. I used to think when I first lost Mother and Daddy that I should never forget the shock and misery, but I very seldom think of that part of it now. Instead, I remember odd, delightful things, like going with my mother to buy my first party frock when I was a little girl, or hearing Daddy say he was proud of me when I passed my first school exam, or seeing them both trying not to look too brazenly gratified when I won a ridiculous cup for rather indifferent swimming.’

Julian turned his head for a moment and gave her a quick, kindly smile.

‘You are a good little philosopher, Alison. But, all the same, I think temperament has a lot to do with your argument. I’m afraid what I remember are the hard, bitter things. The times when I’ve been wildly angry or-’

‘Hurt,’ finished Alison quietly as he hesitated.

‘I wonder why you said that?’ He spoke thoughtfully. ‘I’m not very easily hurt, you know. I’m really rather insensitive!’

‘Oh, no.’ It was Alison who smiled then. ‘You’re not in the least insensitive.’

‘But I don’t think you really know much about me, Alison,’ he said.

‘Yes, I do.’

‘What, for instance?’

She was amused to see that he found himself a not at all disagreeable topic of conversation.

‘Well-that, for one thing. You’re sensitive, very proud, rather on the look-out for slights, extremely determined, easily hurt, and unusually passionate.’

‘Good God!’ said Julian slowly. ‘And I’ve been thinking of you as a nice, unobservant little schoolgirl.’

‘Well, don’t,’ Alison advised him curtly.

‘What makes you think that I’m passionate?’ he asked with sudden stiffness, as though her final words had only just penetrated.

Alison thought unhappily of him with Rosalie in the library and was silent.

‘Anyway, I don’t think you quite know what you’re talking about,’ he told her sharply.

‘Oh, yes,’ said Alison.

And after that they drove on some way in silence. But once she noticed that his colour rose, and she wondered with a little scared amusement which part of her speech he was remembering.

About noon they stopped at a converted farmhouse, where a homely-looking woman gave them lunch, and insisted on waiting on them personally.

She spoke of Alison to Julian as ‘your young lady’, which seemed to amuse him. But Alison couldn’t help thinking it would not have amused Rosalie.

Afterwards, they wandered among the pinewoods that stretched for miles away from the farmhouse. The sparkle had come back to Alison’s eyes and a faint, clear colour to her cheeks. She took off her hat, and the warm, light wind lifted little strands of her hair and stirred the thick fringe on her forehead.

‘What pretty hair you have, Alison,’ he said, pleasantly but quite impersonally.

‘Aunt Lydia says that my fringe is ridiculous,’ Alison remarked non-committally.

‘She’s quite wrong. It’s most attractive.’ She had an odd impression that he enjoyed contradicting something Aunt Lydia had said, and the next moment he added, ‘But then your aunt and I don’t agree on many things.’

‘You don’t like Aunt Lydia, do you?’ Alison said frankly.

‘Not in the least,’ he replied just as frankly.

‘Nor do I.’

And they both laughed.

‘Let’s sit down here.’ Julian cleared some cones from under a group of trees, and they sat down on a carpet of soft pine-needles.

Alison leaned her back against a tree, and he lay on the ground beside her, propped on his elbow.

‘Anyway, you won’t have to bother about Aunt Lydia when you’re married,’ she reminded him. ‘You and Rosalie are going to live in South America, aren’t you?’

He nodded. ‘In Buenos Aires.’

‘Are you glad? To be going back, I mean.’

‘In a way, yes. ‘He moved a little uneasily. ‘I don’t know quite how it will suit Rosalie.’

She wondered if he knew how worried his eyes looked when he said that.

‘Has she said anything about it?’

‘Yes. She’s not at all keen.’ He spoke with obvious reluctance.

Alison wondered dispassionately what on earth was inducing Rosalie to do anything on which she ‘was not at all keen’. She supposed Julian must have a very great deal of money. It never entered her head that any question of affection could be concerned.

‘Will you have to be there long? Couldn’t you perhaps just be engaged until you come back?’ she suggested.

‘No.’ He looked startled and annoyed. ‘It would mean two years at least. And, in any. case, it’s the kind of job where it is essential to be a married man. Socially it’s the most important position on the firm, and there is a great deal of entertaining to be done. An unmarried man couldn’t possibly do what was required. Besides,’ he added starkly, ‘I couldn’t bear to wait for Rosalie all that time.’

Alison stared down at her hands as they lay very still in her lap.

‘You’re terribly in love with her, aren’t you?’ she said simply.

He flushed a little.

‘Yes. Desperately,’ he said, and looked at her almost resentfully.

She was silent, thinking that ‘desperately’ was probably literally correct.

After a minute he spoke again. ‘I know. You’re wondering why, aren’t you? You can’t understand it because you don’t like her yourself?’

She still said nothing. There seemed nothing to say.

‘It isn’t that I’m blind to anything like her-her unkindness to you.’ He spoke slowly and unhappily. Then he rolled over suddenly and dropped his head on his arms with a sort of angry despair. ‘It doesn’t seem to make any difference,’ he said in a muffled voice. ‘I’m just as crazy about her. I don’t expect you could understand.’

‘Yes, I think I do.’ And, just for the moment, Alison put out her hand and touched the tumbled dark head, but so very, very lightly that he couldn’t possibly have known.

He looked up presently and smiled.

‘I’m sorry. It’s ridiculous to tell you all this.’

‘No, it isn’t. One has to tell someone these things sometimes,’ Alison said gravely.

He sighed impatiently. Then he took her hand absently and began to play with her fingers. ‘It’s so easy to tell you, Alison. You keep so still and don’t make idiotic exclamations when one says impossible things.’

She smiled slightly. ‘But I like it when you tell me things about yourself-impossible or otherwise.’

‘You’re very comforting,’ he told her with a little smile.

And she thought, ‘I wish I could put my arms round you and hold you and comfort you properly.’

But she couldn’t, of course. So. she said nothing, and presently, when he spoke again, it was not about himself and Rosalie.

‘What are your uncle and aunt’s plans for your future, Alison?’

Alison shrugged.

‘Uncle doesn’t approve of girls working, and says he is only too happy to give me a home. Aunt Lydia quite approves of my working, so long as I do it for her and don’t expect any sort of payment. It’s rather a vicious circle.’

Julian looked disturbed.

‘Probably your aunt will take you about much more, and treat you more like a daughter, when Rosalie is married.’

‘I dare say.’

Alison thought how pointless all that would be-when Rosalie was married.

‘In which case you’re certain to get married.’ Julian was calmly following out the line of Alison’s future.

‘Perhaps nobody will ask me,’ she said lightly, because it hurt rather to have him say these things.

He laughed a little.

‘That’s the real Victorian Alison speaking,’ he said, and his tone was as light as hers. ‘I imagine half the girls of today do most of the asking themselves. But you’re much too attractive ever to have to resort to that.’

He spoke with sincerity, but so impersonally that Alison gritted her teeth.

‘In a minute he’ll tell me I shall make a marvellous wife for some lucky man,’ she thought grimly.

And’ so that he shouldn’t, she jumped to her feet and said, ‘Don’t you think it is time we were getting back?’

He agreed lazily, and they slowly made their way back to the farm.

The woman asked if they had had a nice walk, and, when they said they had, she added understandingly that the woods were ‘grand for sweethearting’.

‘I’m sure they are,’ Julian said gravely. But Alison said nothing-just went a little pale. She wished she could have blushed instead. It would have made her look silly, of course, but at least it would have kept things on a lighter plane.

As it was,’ Julian suddenly seemed to notice, and said, ‘Alison, you’re tired. I must have let you walk too far.’

‘No, I’m all right,’ she assured him But for a moment she savoured even this perfunctory concern with pleasure.

And perhaps it was not so perfunctory, really. For he saw to it that she made a good tea, and then afterwards he settled her comfortably in the car, with cushions behind her and a light rug over her knees.

She lay back quite silent, content in the memory that he found her ‘a very restful little presence’ like that. And as they slipped past the fields and orchards once more in the lengthening shadows of the evening, she felt at peace again -even though her one day was nearly over.

A few golden stars were just beginning to prick their way through the evening sky as the car drew up at her uncle’s house.

Julian helped her out and stood with her on the pavement for a moment to say good night.

‘Won’t you come in?’ Alison asked.

But he said no, he had a supper engagement and was already late.

‘It’s been so beautiful,’ she began, and then she suddenly found great difficulty in going on. ‘I wish I could tell you-’ She bit her lip. Then she added in a low voice, ‘You do understand, don’t you?’

‘My dear child’-he took her hand kindly-’you really mustn’t make so much of it. I too have to thank you for a delightful day.’

Alison looked up and smiled then, her composure quite restored.

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it too.’

He stood watching her as she ran up the steps. Then, as she turned, with her key in the door, he just raised his hand in farewell, and got into the car and drove away.

‘It’s over,’ thought Alison, and went into the house.

To her surprise, her aunt called to her from the dining-room.

‘Is that you, Alison?’

‘Yes, Aunt Lydia.’ Alison went reluctantly towards the room. Neither her aunt nor Rosalie had been expected back until the next day.

‘Where have you been, my dear?’ They both looked up with some curiosity as Alison came in.

And all at once Alison felt very much afraid of the real answer to that question. But it would be absurd, of course, to make any mystery about it. So she said, as naturally as possible, ‘I’ve been out driving with Julian.’

‘With whom?

‘With Mr. Tyndrum;’ Alison corrected herself nervously under her aunt’s amazed scrutiny.

‘Really, Alison?’ Aunt Lydia ’s manner was very cool and collected now. ‘How did that come about?’

‘It was quite by chance, Aunt Lydia.’ She wished it didn’t sound so absurdly like justifying herself. ‘He rang up yesterday because he had left his cigarette-case here. Then, when he found I was on my own and not doing anything today, he asked me if I’d like to go driving. I suppose he was just-just at a loose end.’

‘I suppose he was,’ said Rosalie, and that was her sole contribution to the conversation.

‘Well, you’d better have something to eat now,’ her aunt observed.

So Alison had a very uncomfortable and rather silent supper, and thought how different everything tasted from the other meals she had had that day.

She wanted to say rudely to Rosalie, ‘You needn’t go on looking like an offended sphinx. He spent a good deal of the time telling me how much he loved you.’

But she couldn’t do that, so instead she went to bed.

The next day, no reference whatever was made to Alison’s excursion, and it looked as though even her aunt and Rosalie had decided it was harmless.

Aunt Lydia kept her running about on innumerable errands during the morning and half the afternoon. But at last even she was satisfied, and Alison had a little time to herself.

She was guiltily conscious of owing Audrey a letter. The twins were due home from school the following week, and she supposed she ought to make sure that the child had the last of her weekly letters.

Fetching her writing-case and a fountain-pen, Alison went into the library. For a moment she stood quite still, looking round and reconstructing the scene when Julian had come to tea.

Only a couple of days ago. It didn’t seem possible. The significance of the last two days was worth all the long pointless weeks she had spent in this house while nothing was happening.

‘Alison!’

That was Aunt Lydia. An angry impatience took hold of Alison. She would not always be at her aunt’s beck and call. She wanted a little time to herself-just a little time to sit and think over the lovely hours of yesterday.

She slipped behind a heavy curtain. Curled up in the corner of the window-seat there, she would be fairly safe.

‘And even if she looks in here, I shan’t take any notice,’ Alison thought rebelliously.

But she heard no more, so probably Aunt Lydia had decided she was out.

Alison opened her writing-case and dutifully began:

‘Dear Audrey,-You will hardly know Lucifer when you see him next week. He is growing into a splendid cat-’

She paused and looked dreamily away out of the window, trying idly to recall anything about Lucifer’s activities that week which seemed worthy of chronicle. In Audrey’s estimation he still ranked first among topics of interest.

This time yesterday they had just come back from their walk, and that absurd woman was saying how grand the woods were for sweethearting.

How surprised she would be if Julian took Rosalie there one day. She’d wonder which of them really was the sweetheart.

But he couldn’t take Rosalie there. He couldn’t.

How lovely the fields had looked as they drove homeward. She could see them now, slipping past in the mellow evening light, as they drove on-and on-and on-

Gradually her fair head drooped against the shutter. Her writing-case slipped from her knee on to the window-seat.

It was so quiet there. Only the sound of Alison’s own soft, even breathing.

She sank deeper and deeper through layers of sleep, lost entirely for a while to the world of problems and perplexities.

And then, from a long way off, something seemed to break the tranquillity, something which made her stir uneasily and catch her breath in a troubled little sigh.

She opened her eyes, to find the light had changed a good deal. She must have slept a long time, hidden here behind the curtain. The next moment she realised that she was no longer alone. There were two people in the library, beyond the sheltering curtain. Two people talking in angry voices.

‘But it’s utterly unreasonable of you, my dear-’

That was Julian’s voice, she realised with a start, And then Rosalie’s cut across it, cold and incisive.

‘It is not unreasonable. You raise heaven knows what sort of a row if I look at another man, and then, the first moment I’m out of the way, you hawk some cheap little piece round the country for the whole day.’

Alison pressed back against the shutter, sick with terror and dismay. There was no possible escape, and yet she couldn’t, couldn’t go on listening to this scene.

‘There’s not the slightest need to abuse Alison. She’s not cheap, and I don’t know what on earth you have against her.’

‘Have I to listen to another recital of Alison’s virtues? If you think so much of her, hadn’t you better-’

‘Damn it all, Rosalie!’ He evidently lost his temper completely at that point. ‘I’ve told you again and again- the girl’s nothing whatever to me. I don’t care two pins about her. She’s a nice child, of course, but just a little relation of yours. I should think no more of taking her out motoring than I should of taking Audrey to the Zoo.’

There was a faint cracking sound as Alison slowly crushed in the cap of her fountain-pen, which she had quite unknowingly picked up.

She was only hearing what she already knew, of course, but to have it put into words, driven home with the force of Julian’s angry indifference-that was something rather different.

If only she had made her presence known before they had got as far as this! It was unspeakable of her to be listening to anything so entirely personal. Yet to interrupt now would be worst of all.

To add to her misery, she was terribly cramped. Very cautiously she moved her stiff, aching knee. One inch. Two inches. And then her forgotten writing-case slid to the ground with a loud thump.

There were two startled exclamations, a moment of stupefied silence, and then Alison did the only thing left to do-she pushed aside the curtain and came out into the open.

Julian stared at her, something like dislike mingling with his astonishment. Rosalie said calmly, ‘Next time you are cataloguing Alison’s virtues, don’t forget to mention eavesdropping.’

‘What on earth do you think you’re doing, Alison?’ Julian’s voice was harsh with annoyance.

‘I’m sorry-I fell asleep there-behind the curtain.’

Rosalie laughed and made an expressive little grimace.

‘It’s quite true.’ Alison spoke doggedly. ‘I didn’t wake up until you-you’d said quite a lot.’

‘Which you heard in your sleep, I suppose?’ Rosalie said drily.

‘Oh, be quiet, Rosalie,’ Julian exclaimed impatiently. ‘There’s no need to doubt what the child says.’ But, whether he believed her or not, Alison could see that he wished her at the other end of the earth. ‘It was stupid of you not to interrupt at once,’ he added sharply.

It was, of course. Impossible to explain her bewildered hesitation which had made her let the minutes slip by. But, in any case, there was no need to treat her like some silly little girl. She put up her chin suddenly with a proud little gesture, and her mouth looked very obstinate.

‘Perhaps it was just as well I did hear what you were saying,’ she told them shortly. It concerns me as well as you, after all. If Rosalie wants any reassuring-’

‘She doesn’t,’ Julian said coldly. ‘Rosalie is now perfectly satisfied about my motives.’

‘Oh, I don’t think I need worry about your motives anymore, Julian,’ Rosalie observed coolly. ‘Perhaps I ought to look elsewhere for the source of trouble.’

‘For God’s sake, Rosalie-’ began Julian, evidently in the last stages of exasperation.

But Alison interrupted furiously.

‘Just what do you mean?’ She faced her cousin, her eyes bright with anger.

‘Julian has assured me most convincingly that he has no interest whatever in you.’ Rosalie mustn’t detect the slightest quiver on her face. ‘I should like to be as sure that you have no interest in him.’

‘Rosalie, are you crazy?’ That was Julian. But neither girl took the slightest notice of him.

Alison spoke into the electric-charged silence.

‘It’s ridiculous that I should even have to say it. I have no interest whatever in Ju-in Mr. Tyndrum. Perhaps that will satisfy you.’

Then she pushed past Rosalie and ran out of the room, her breath coming in little gasps, and her heart-beats nearly choking her.

This was the worst of all. Oh, much the worst! He could never think of her now without distaste and alarm. For he loved Rosalie so blindly, and held her so insecurely, that he was bound to fear anything that threatened his hopes.

And then her own denial. She felt an almost superstitious dread when she thought of that.

Flinging herself face downwards on her bed, she lay there for a long while, almost motionless. And she thought, as she had that time she believed he had played with. her-’I never want to see him again.’

But she meant it no more now than she had then.

She couldn’t tell whether Rosalie said anything to her mother about. what had happened. Aunt Lydia ’s manner was always difficult to read at the best of times. But the fact remained that the following day she said:

‘Alison, my dear, I’ve been thinking it is time you had a breath of sea air. You’ve been in town quite long enough.’ Alison couldn’t help thinking in her turn how very little that fact had disturbed Aunt Lydia up till now. But she tried to look attentive as her aunt went on: ‘I am arranging that the twins shall go straight from school to their old Nannie in Sussex. She has a very lovely cottage on the coast there, and they often spend part of their holidays with her. It will be ideal for you too, and I know how you will enjoy it.’

‘Thank you, Aunt Lydia,’ Alison said dutifully. Then, quite involuntarily, she added, ‘Oh, poor Audrey won’t see Lucifer now.’ But she really thought, ‘And nor shall I see Julian.’

‘Lucifer?’ Her aunt laughed slightly. ‘Don’t be silly. Lucifer will still be here when you all come home.’

‘And so will Julian,’ thought Alison. But that wouldn’t be any business of hers, of course.

She travelled down to Sussex the next day-’so that you’ll be there when the twins arrive,’ Aunt Lydia said. Alison couldn’t see much reason for this quite extraordinary haste, and wondered again if Rosalie had told her mother anything.

But perhaps, in any case, the nicest thing at the moment was to be right away from the whole miserable business.

The twins’ one-time Nannie was a kindly, practical woman, and she said at once that what Alison needed was ‘building. up’. And after a quiet day or two of complete rest and constant care Alison felt more than ready to welcome Theo and Audrey.

They arrived by the same train, laden with luggage, news, and holiday plans.

Audrey gave Alison an entirely unexpected kiss, and Theo, too, seemed very pleased to see her. The world began to look a much pleasanter place at once, for Alison was immediately aware of the fact that the twins had a very definite place for her in their holiday scheme.

Alison found their uncompromising ways very refreshing. More than once in the weeks they spent down there together she looked at them and thought, ‘Are they really Aunt Lydia ’s children?’

It didn’t seem possible that such an insincere and artificial person could have produced anything so downright as Audrey.

‘It must be Uncle Theodore coming out in them,’ she decided amusedly, and her opinion of her uncle went up accordingly.

From time to time Aunt Lydia wrote, sometimes at considerable length, and nearly always about nothing at all. She and Rosalie were paying a round of visits. She spoke of it a little as though it were forced manual labour. But, since she had no wishes but her own to consult in the matter, Alison felt there must be compensations somewhere.

Uncle Theodore, rather to her surprise, wrote regularly once a week to the twins, and very often included a formal but kindly message to herself.

‘He’s quite a good sport really,’ remarked Audrey tolerantly, when she. had read out extracts from one of his letters. ‘I’m sorry we shan’t see him when we go home next week.’

‘Not see him? Won’t you really, Audrey?’ Alison felt sorry for them, but they took it with the rather terrifying callousness of children.

‘No.’ Audrey shook her head. ‘You see, it’ll be September already when we get home, and we go back to school on the twelfth. Still, he says we shall be home for a day or two for Rosalie’s wedding at the end of October. So we shall see him then.’

‘Must we go to Rosalie’s wedding?’ asked Theo gloomily.

And at the same moment Alison said sharply, ‘October? Is Rosalie getting married in October?’

‘So Daddy says in the letter.’ Audrey evidently hadn’t thought it worthy of mention before.

Alison strolled over to the window and stood there staring out. But she saw nothing of the sea and sky beyond the cottage garden.

It was just a matter of weeks now.

Towards the end of the following week they all three returned to London. Alison half envied Audrey her rapturous reunion with Lucifer, and thought whimsically, ‘Lucky child. Her separation is over.’

There were a great many things to be done before the twins returned to school, and Alison had a busy ten days, shopping, arranging, and packing for them.

‘And after this there’ll be the rush for Rosalie’s wedding. You will be busy,’ Audrey said. I do hope she won’t want me to be a bridesmaid.’

‘She won’t,’ said Theo. "You aren’t pretty enough.’

‘No, I expect that’s what she’ll think,’ agreed Audrey, quite unoffended. ‘Anyway, she knows I’d only stand on her train or something as she went up the aisle.’

Alison said nothing. She was thinking of Julian waiting there for Rosalie as she went up the aisle.

She was scared to find herself counting each day as it slipped away.

When she said good-bye to the twins she thought, ‘Next time I see them they will be here for Julian’s wedding.’

When her uncle returned a few days later, she thought, ‘There will scarcely be much time for him to go away again before Rosalie’s wedding.’

Rosalie herself was scarcely ever in the house. Alison supposed she was visiting, or else that she was out with Julian.

Then one evening her uncle said at dinner, ‘Does Rosalie still consider that she is living in this house? She never seems to be here.’

‘She naturally wants to get all the fun she can before she leaves London,’ Aunt Lydia retorted coolly.

‘Fun!’ Her husband laughed shortly. ‘How does Julian take to all this-fun?’

Aunt Lydia ignored his question, as she frequently did when he said anything she disliked.

‘Is she out with Julian to-night?’

‘No. With Rodney Myrton.’

Uncle Theodore frowned. ‘Who on earth is this Rodney Myrton? It isn’t the first time she’s been out with him. And what’s Julian got to say about her running around with another man five weeks before her wedding-day?’

‘I haven’t discussed it with Julian,’ said Aunt Lydia, taking the second question first. Then she added, ‘Rodney Myrton is extremely attractive-plenty of money-and only two people between him and the title. One is an old man, and the other seems determined to kill himself on the racing track. She met Rodney in Scotland this summer. You’ll probably see him at her birthday dance next week.’

‘Do you mean to tell me,’ began her husband, ‘that you’re more than half advising Rosalie-’

‘I never advise Rosalie,’ Aunt Lydia said coldly.

Just for a moment Alison thought there was going to be something of an explosion. Then, quite unexpectedly, her uncle turned to her, his usual calm completely restored.

‘And are you going to have a new dress for the dance, Alison?’ he asked.

‘I-I don’t think so,’ Alison said, extremely surprised.

Well, do you want one?’ Her uncle looked amused.

‘Alison already has quite a nice evening frock,’ Aunt Lydia said.

‘A new one?’

‘Not exactly,’ Alison admitted.

Her uncle took out his note-case and coolly handed her four five-pound notes.

‘Then get yourself one.’

‘Uncle!’ Alison sprang up and kissed him impulsively. ‘How simply wonderful of you!’

‘She doesn’t really need it,’ Aunt Lydia remarked.

But her husband only replied drily, ‘Well, I’ve never known Rosalie need a dress enough to kiss me for paying the bill.’

It was impossible to consult Aunt Lydia about the buying of the dress, and so Alison had the full delicious responsibility on her own shoulders. But, strangely enough, she knew which dress she wanted the first moment she saw it.

Softest, shimmering amber chiffon over satin, like sunlight seen through a glass of sherry-with a tiny yoke and sleeves, its full skirts swirling just to her knees.

As she slipped into it, she knew that no other dress would ever do. It had about it that odd, sweet whisper of Victorian days-but no one, not even Rosalie, could say this dress resembled a nightdress.

Distinctly and quite shamelessly, she thought, ‘I want Julian to see me in this.’

And Julian, of course, would be at Rosalie’s birthday dance.

When she came down on the night of the dance, Alison thought that surely Aunt Lydia must say a word of approval.

But Aunt Lydia had no eyes for her young niece. She was standing talking to Rosalie, and her face wore an expression as near to consternation as any Alison had seen there.

‘You can’t do it this way, Rosalie,’ she was saying. ‘You can’t possibly.’

But Rosalie, almost insolently lovely in a gown of silvery white, seemed to think she could-whatever it was.

‘He turned the laugh against me at one dance, Mother. I haven’t forgotten that. To-night it’s he they’ll find amusing.’

‘Your father will be terribly angry.’ Aunt Lydia didn’t offer that as though she thought it would have much effect.

It had none.

Rosalie merely replied indifferently, ‘He’s not my father.’

Alison wondered what Rosalie had been doing now, but the murmur of arriving guests prevented any questions, even if she had dared to ask any.

She looked curiously at her cousin, taking in every line of her. Her beautiful burnished hair in its careless curls, the lovely set of her head and shoulders, the perfect line of her figure, her delicate hands-

And suddenly Alison’s eyes nearly started from her head.

On Rosalie’s left hand, where Julian’s diamond should have sparkled, a magnificent ruby hung, like a drop of blood.

For a moment her mind went completely blank. And then, with a shock of horror much worse than the first, she realised that Julian was greeting her slightly agitated aunt. Julian-smiling, cool, utterly unprepared for what was to happen in the next few minutes.

‘Julian!’ She was beside him, unaware that she had called him by his Christian name.

But in the same second Rosalie said ‘Julian’ too. And he turned to her first.

‘I must speak to you for a moment.’ Rosalie was perfectly calm. She put her hand on his arm. Her left hand.

Alison saw his gaze drop to that ruby.

And then, suddenly, unable to bear the rest, she pushed her way, unheeding, through the crowd of early arrivals- out into the hall. Scarcely knowing what she did, she ran up the stairs and along to her room. She was possessed by a sort of unreasoning panic, as though she had seen someone run over in the street, and must get as far as possible away from the scene.

Up and down her little bedroom she walked. She had often fled here, wretched, lonely, oppressed by her own misery; but now no thought of herself came near her mind. It was Julian, Julian-and the heartbreak and humiliation he must be suffering.

She could visualise that scene downstairs with Rosalie, for no one knew better than Alison how cruel her cousin could be when her spite was roused.

And Julian would be so bewildered, so utterly unprepared and unarmed against such a terrible attack. Rosalie would force him to show his feelings, to give himself away in a manner he would never forget And she would be amused and triumphant because she had contrived to humiliate him.

It wasn’t as though any of the others would have a grain of sympathy either. They too would find it thoroughly amusing and piquant to break off an engagement this way.

Aunt Lydia herself might have been shocked in the first moment of learning Rosalie’s intention, but her consternation was not prompted by any feeling of sympathy for Julian. She was merely concerned in case Rosalie should go too far and incur the disapproval of anyone who mattered.

He would be surrounded by enemies, enemies who were all the more bitter because they smiled. And there would be no one to appreciate his feelings or care in the least. No one, that was, except herself.

Suddenly Alison was brought up short.

She shouldn’t be up there, panicking in a corner like some ridiculous child. There was nothing she could do for him-nothing at all. But at least she ought to be there, to stand by him in some way-if only by just being there. She must go now, at once.

Down the stairs she ran, almost as quickly as she had fled up them, and, as she hesitated on the bottom step he came out of her aunt’s little study.

He looked white and extremely bewildered, and one lock of his dark hair seemed inclined to fall damply over his forehead. For a moment he stared at Alison as though he. didn’t see her. Then he crossed the hall in two or three strides.

‘Alison-’ His hand closed on her bare arm painfully.

‘Yes, I know.’ Alison spoke very gently, and put her hand lightly over his.

‘Come into the library,’ he said abruptly. ‘I must talk to you-to someone.’

She came without a word. She wondered if he knew he was still gripping her arm.

‘You know about it? What Rosalie has done?’ He spoke in little, staccato sentences.

‘Yes.’

‘But I don’t understand.’ He passed his hand bewilderedly over his eyes. ‘What have I done?’

‘I’m afraid-I’m afraid, Julian, it’s just that she wants someone else.’

‘Yes, yes.’ He spoke with weary impatience. ‘I understand that I can’t bear it, but I can understand it. Only this-this unspeakable humiliation. To tell me-almost in front of those people. To wear another man’s ring before I knew she’d taken off mine. How could she?’

‘I don’t know,’ Alison whispered, feeling terribly inadequate.

‘She-we were to be married in less than four weeks.’ He spoke half to himself. ‘She must have known how she felt before this. She must.’

Alison thought so too, but could find nothing to say.

Julian turned away in a sudden passion of misery.

‘She did it on purpose. She staged it.’ He gave a furious little laugh that made Alison wince. ‘Well, she’s done me one good turn. She’s cured me of my madness for her at last. I could never care for her again. Never!’

‘Don’t, Julian!’

Alison felt she couldn’t bear to see him snatch at that little rag of pretence, to hide the naked misery of his humiliation.

He sat down heavily, and just for a moment he put his head in his hands.

‘It’s true.’ He spoke sullenly. ‘I don’t care about her as a person any more-not after such baseness. All I care about is the unspeakable way she’s broken everything up. I can’t take on the South American job now. I can’t get away.’ He said that last sentence with a sort of angry forlornness that brought the tears to Alison’s eyes.

‘Julian,’ she said gently, longing to put her hand on his hair, but not daring to touch him… ‘Julian, the first awfulness will pass, you know. It couldn’t feel like this for very long.’

‘I’m not thinking of that part of it,’ he insisted with dreary, childish obstinacy. ‘I’m thinking of my lost chance in Buenos Aires -that job I can’t take unless I’m married. I don’t care a damn about losing Rosalie as a person. I’m concerned about losing her as a wife.’

There was a long, heavy silence, which neither of them seemed able to break.

And then it was Alison who spoke.

‘I suppose I wouldn’t do?’

CHAPTER IV

THERE was another long silence, which seemed to Alison to last for hours.

Then slowly he raised his head.

‘What did you say?’ he got out at last.

She didn’t repeat it. She couldn’t. Besides, she could see from his face that he had heard.

Her hands were shaking so that she had to clasp them together. And after a moment she sank down on the rug in front of him, partly because her legs refused to support her any longer.

He took hold of her wrist suddenly and jerked her round to face him.

‘Did you mean that-what you said?’

‘Yes.’

She didn’t look up. She stared at the firelight on the amber satin of her frock, while he stared at the firelight on the pale gold satin of her hair.

Then he gave an impatient little exclamation and almost pushed her away.

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ he told her roughly. ‘You’re only a schoolgirl.’

‘I’m not I’m twenty. And-and I’d do anything to get away from here.’ Better to put it on that footing at once, and, in any case, her passionate sincerity gave point to it.

She saw his expression change a little, but he only said curtly, ‘Well, chasing over the world with a man you scarcely know isn’t a good solution.’

‘I only thought-’

Alison stopped, and bit her lip, wondering rather wildly how she had got herself involved in this awful discussion.

‘What did you think?’ He looked a little disagreeable, but singularly unperturbed for a man who had just received a proposal.

‘I thought,’ Alison said in a very low voice, ‘I thought-it might be a business arrangement that suited us both.’

‘So your idea is that you would escape from your aunt’s petty tyranny and I should be able to take my South American job-and by mutual consent we should look on it as nothing more than a business deal?’

‘Yes.’ Alison’s voice sounded very small, even to her own ears.

‘Well, you’re a silly little fool,’ he told her uncompromisingly. ‘It’s the sort of idea that sounds excellent in theory and just doesn’t work in practice.’

‘Oh, but why?’ Alison spoke with the boldness of desperation.

‘Because it’s a false and ridiculous position for any ordinary man and girl. And now that every link with Rosalie has been broken’-his mouth tightened-’you and I have no other connection. That’s all we are to each other. Any ordinary man and girl.’

He meant it as a dash of cold water, she knew, but it had quite the opposite effect. Something in that phrase made her senses tingle oddly, made her realise how completely he had put himself outside Rosalie’s life at last. She stared into the fire so that he shouldn’t see the sudden light in her eyes, or the agitated colour in her cheeks.

‘Well then,’ she said quietly, ‘as an ordinary girl to an ordinary man, I suggest that we both stand to gain and not lose by the arrangement. I don’t want to sound calculating’ -he smiled slightly, perhaps because he saw how childishly her hands were trembling-’but I can’t help seeing that life as your-I mean, life out there-would be infinitely preferable to my life here. And, on your side, you either have to marry someone or else give up the job and stay here to watch Rosalie and her new fiancé.’

She saw from the angry way he winced that the last sentence had found its mark, and impulsively she put her hand on his.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, only it’s the truth.’

‘I know, I know,’ he said with an impatient sigh. Then he took her by the shoulders, not ungently, and turned her towards him again.

‘I wish I knew how much of this is angry impulse which you’ll bitterly regret.’

She wouldn’t look at him, but she said very earnestly, It’s not just impulse-really. And I shouldn’t regret it. It seems to me it’s just-just common sense.’

‘Oh, no,’ he said with a short laugh. ‘Whatever else it is, it isn’t that.’

‘But, Julian,’-she spoke his name timidly-’it isn’t as though we aren’t both a good deal afraid of the future as it is now.’

‘You mean we don’t either of us stand to lose much?’ He smiled grimly again. ‘No, I suppose we don’t.’

‘It’s simply a-a question of whether you think getting that job in Buenos Aires is worth the risk of marrying me.’

‘Not only that, Alison,’ he said. ‘There’s another side to it too.’

‘What?’

‘Look at me.’ His voice was quiet but peremptory, and reluctantly she raised her scared brown eyes to his face. There’s the question of whether you think escaping from your life here is worth the risk of marrying me.’

‘But I’ve told you-’ Alison whispered.

He stared unsmilingly at her, and then all at once he drew her against him.

‘Poor little Alison. You’re terribly scared really, aren’t you?’

But for a moment she felt him put his cheek down against the top of her head as though it were he, and not she, who needed comforting.

‘I’m not scared-exactly,’ she said, with a shaky little laugh. ‘Only it’s rather a shock to find you’ve proposed to someone.’

He laughed a little, too, at that. ‘Good lord, I suppose that is what you did. And I haven’t really even accepted you yet, have I?’

She moved slightly in a circle of his arm.

‘Do you realise what you’re taking on, I wonder?’ He spoke much more gently now. ‘I’m not a very easy man to live with, you know. I think Rosalie would tell you I’m violent and unreasonable and difficult.’

‘I’m not interested in Rosalie’s opinion of you,’ Alison said quietly. ‘We’re not likely to see eye to eye on anything-least of all on you.’

For some reason, that seemed to please him. He tightened his arm impulsively and said, ‘You’re a darling, Alison-and extraordinarily comforting.’

‘I’m very glad.’ She moved her hand rather shyly up and down his arm with a little caressing movement. ‘I-I meant to be comforting,’ she said gently, ‘but I think I must just have sounded aggressive and rather shameless.’

He laughed softly, even a little teasingly. ‘Not aggressive exactly. Merely as though you were sure you knew what was best for us. And as for being shameless, why, the only time you raised your eyes to my face was when I deliberately told you to.’

‘Oh.’ She coloured.

Then she saw suddenly that he was not noticing her any more. An idea seemed to have struck him. He put her away from him, gently but quite firmly, and, getting up, began to walk up and down the room.

She watched him nervously, and, when he stopped abruptly in front of her, she got hastily to her feet as though feeling a little foolish at discovering that she was still crouching there.

‘Would you be very much afraid if I took you back into that room with me now, and told them I was engaged to you?’ His curiously light grey eyes looked cold and brilliant in his dark face.

‘Why, of course not,’ she said gently. ‘At least-if you think that is the best way to do it, I’m quite ready. It’s going to be rather a shock for them, whichever way we choose.’

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘it’s going to be rather a shock.’ And, at the expression on his face, Alison caught herself hoping nervously that she would never make him look like that. He was a good hater, she could see.

‘Give me your hand, Alison,’ he said abruptly.

‘My hand? Why?’

He looked a little drily amused at that.

‘Why do you think?’ he said as he drew off his signet ring.

‘Oh!’ Alison went scarlet and then white.

‘It’s only a makeshift, of course. I’ll buy you a real one to-morrow-whatever you like. But I’m going to make them all believe that Rosalie and I parted by mutual consent, because we both wanted someone else.’

She bit her lip sharply. There was something of the angry, hurt boy about this feverish, transparent effort to ease his crushed pride, to take away the sting of the frightful humiliation Rosalie had put on him.

‘I think it’s a good idea,’ she said in a resolutely matter-of-fact tone, and was touched again to see the relief in his face.

She held out her left hand, the fingers spread out a little, and he put his signet ring on her finger.

It was large for her and slipped round, so that only the plain gold band of the inside showed.

‘Prophetic,’ remarked Julian, and laughed slightly.

‘Yes,’ Alison said, but her voice was only a whisper, for an odd lump seemed to have lodged in her throat.

Then he drew her arm lightly through his, and they went out of the room together.

The first person they met was Uncle Theodore, who was crossing the hall.

‘Julian, I’m dreadfully sorry about this disgraceful business,’ he began. Then, as he noticed Alison’s insignificant presence: ‘Run along, Alison. I want to speak to Mr. Tyndrum a moment.’

She would have gone at once, used as she was to effacing herself, but Julian pressed his arm against his side so that she couldn’t withdraw her hand.

‘You really mustn’t distress yourself about it, Mr. Leadburn,’ he said pleasantly and casually. ‘I’m afraid you’ve heard only half of the story-especially since you suggest that Alison should leave us.’

‘Alison?’ Uncle Theodore had evidently never supposed that his niece counted for much in any domestic crisis.

‘Certainly.’ Julian was smiling a little now, and he calmly drew his arm away, to put it lightly round her. ‘Alison and I are engaged.’

‘Alison and you!’ Uncle Theodore looked stupefied, and Alison thought irrelevantly that she had never seen his expression change so often in so short a time.

‘Yes.’ Julian glanced down at her with an appearance of tenderness which shook her badly. ‘Rosalie’s-courageous frankness about her preference for Myrton served my happiness as well as hers. It left me free to admit that I too had made a mistake which I was anxious to repair.’

‘Rosalie’s what’?’ said Uncle Theodore contemptuously. ‘You know as well as I do that her motive was just selfish spite.’

‘But need we examine Rosalie’s motives so closely,’ Julian said mildly, ‘since we are all quite happy at what has happened?’

Alison marvelled at the calm way he withstood her uncle’s penetrating look. She herself trembled a little when it was turned to her.

‘And what have you to say about it, Alison?’ Her uncle’s tone was not unkindly; only puzzled.

‘I’m very happy,’ she said softly. And she supposed that in a sense that was true.

‘Hm! Been eating your heart out for Julian all along, I suppose?’ he said drily.

She couldn’t quite make herself answer that in words. It was too uncomfortably near the truth. So she just nodded, and stared hard at the ground.

‘Well’-her uncle turned back to Julian, his air not un-tinged with amusement-’I suppose I don’t need to tell you that I think you’re less to be pitied than Myrton.’

‘I assure you I don’t feel in any need of pity,’ Julian said, smiling. And Alison was oddly certain that it gave immense satisfaction to his battered self-respect to be able to say that.

‘Have you told my wife yet?’

‘No. Events followed too quickly on each other, you see.’ Julian was imperturbable still. ‘But I think we must go and tell her now.’

‘Yes, by all means let us go and tell her,’ agreed Uncle Theodore.

When they came into the room, a few couples were drifting about the floor to the strains of dance-music from the radio. But most of the company was gathered about Rosalie, laughing and talking.

For a second Alison felt Julian’s hand tightened unbearably on her arm. She gasped slightly, not so much with the pain of his grip as the pain of knowing that the very sight of another girl could move him so profoundly.

He murmured a word of apology, and at that moment Rosalie saw him. She was evidently taken aback at seeing him still there after his dismissal, but, recovering herself immediately, she addressed him a little defiantly across the room.

‘Won’t you come and drink to my happy engagement, too, Julian?’

In the startled, amused hush that fell upon the others, he came slowly forward.

‘Of course.’ He took the glass steadily from her fingers. ‘And in return you must drink to mine.’

‘What-do you mean?’

Rosalie’s own glass shook, so that some of the wine spilled and ran down over her fingers.

‘Simply that our mutual decision earlier in the evening left us both free to repair a-mutual mistake.’ Julian smiled full at her-not insolently, but with a sort of dangerous courtesy. ‘While I drink to your happiness with Myrton, you must drink to my happiness with Alison.’ And he bowed slightly to her over the rim of his glass.

‘Alison!’

Rosalie turned quite pale with shocked anger, while a little ripple of laughter and something like applause went round the group.

‘Are you surprised? Then I must have hidden my feelings better than I knew. But now you know, I’m sure you will not grudge us your congratulations. Your health and happiness, Rosalie-and you too, Myrton.’ And he turned for a moment to the blond youngster who was Rosalie’s latest acquisition.

‘Very well done,’ murmured Uncle Theodore to no one in particular. But Alison heard him.

She supposed she ought to find some sort of satisfaction in this turning of the tables on Rosalie. But she felt no such thing. Instead, there was just a scared distress in her heart, a cold sense of apprehension. For it was her engagement- her one precious, fragile link with Julian-that was the subject of this frightening duel.

It seemed an odd way to celebrate marriage, she thought unhappily.

As for Aunt Lydia ’s reaction, that was entirely unexpected-until Alison realised that she was doing her best to convert Rosalie’s blank and furious dismay into a decent retreat.

‘My dear child!’ Aunt Lydia bumped her cheek gently against Alison’s in simulation of a kiss. ‘Well, I must say I am exceedingly surprised. Aren’t you, Theodore?’

‘Not in the least,’ her husband said drily, and he glanced across at Rosalie with such patent dislike that even Aunt Lydia was checked for a moment in her flow of conventional eloquence.

‘Poor Aunt Lydia,’ thought Alison dispassionately. ‘Her family aren’t standing by her very well.’

‘I’m a good deal surprised myself, Aunt Lydia,’ she said timidly. ‘But-but it’s a very nice surprise.’

‘Very.’ Aunt Lydia ’s supply of synthetic sympathy was running out. ‘A little breathtaking, though,’ she added.

‘Rather like matrimonial "Family Coach",’ observed one of the guests. But Aunt Lydia only paid that the tribute of a very bleak smile.

‘It will have to be a very short engagement, won’t it?’ remarked someone else.

‘Oh, yes. But we don’t mind that.’ Julian put his arm round Alison again and drew her to his side. ‘Do we?’

Alison shook her head wordlessly.

Then he whispered, ‘Don’t tremble so.’ And his voice was so gentle that she suddenly wanted to weep.

Perhaps he guessed how overwrought she was, because he glanced round and said, ‘But we’re wasting all our evening, standing about talking. Why aren’t we dancing?’

And a moment later, Alison found herself swung away from the group to dance with Julian, and, when the others found that the tenseness of the crisis was passing, they soon followed suit.

‘Feeling better?’ His voice sounded quietly just above. her head.

‘Yes, thank you.’

‘Could you manage to smile a little, then?’

She looked up quickly and smiled unsteadily at him. It was curiously like the very first evening of all, only this time it was his pride that must be saved, she thought with fierce determination.

‘That’s better. You’re a good, brave child, Alison,’ he said. ‘You backed me up splendidly.’

‘I don’t think I did much,’ replied Alison honestly. ‘And anyway, I was terrified.’

‘Were you? Well, I think you might well be excused on the grounds of having used up all your courage in the library.’

She knew he was smiling a little at that, but she didn’t dare look up, because his words brought back that incredible scene so clearly.

‘Does the idea of this rush engagement scare you, Alison?’ he asked after a moment.

‘Oh, no.’

‘It’s the only way we can manage it, you know. Because we shall have to leave in early November.’ He sounded a little troubled.

‘I know. It doesn’t matter.’

‘Doesn’t it? You make things very easy,’ he said gently. But Alison didn’t think ‘easy’ was quite the word to describe that evening. She felt terribly tired-emotionally tired-and more than once during the evening she found herself wincing uncontrollably because Julian’s tenderness to her was all a pretence.

It was very well done, but it was pretence. It couldn’t be anything else. Only a few hours ago she had seen him white and distraught because another girl had thrown aside his love for her.

And every now and then, like an electric sign flashing out in the night, there flickered across her memory the words she had heard him say to Rosalie that day weeks ago in the library:

‘The girl’s nothing whatever to me. I don’t care two pins about her.’

Once she thought in panic, ‘What have I done? It can’t be anything but terrible, being married to an indifferent Julian, yet feeling as I do. I must have been mad to rush so.crazily into this.’

Then she remembered his saying, ‘You’re a good, brave child.’ And she thought, with a little humble rush of gratitude, that, in a way, she had been allowed to save him.

At the end of the evening, he drew her out into the hall to say good night to her.

‘I shall look in to-morrow and see you then,’ he told her. And that, too, was oddly like the first evening. Only, of course, she hadn’t really seen him for months after he had said that before.

Didn’t he remember? Men were so queerly insensitive, she thought. Or perhaps it was just that she was ridiculously sensitive that evening.

She drew a long breath, and just then he gave a very slight exclamation and stared hard at her upper arm.

‘What have you done to your arm?’

She didn’t say anything. She knew what it was without having to look at the five tiny bruises.

Very lightly he fitted his fingers and thumb against the marks.

‘Did I do that?’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said quickly.

But he looked extraordinarily concerned. She thought he was going to say something. And then, the next moment, he had bent his head and touched her arm very gently with his lips.

‘I’m sorry, my child. That seems very poor gratitude. But thank you for everything.’

His voice was not entirely steady, and he went away after that without even saying good night.

But Alison didn’t notice. She couldn’t have said a word herself. She only stood there with her hand over her arm, as though she would hold the imprint of his first kiss there.

At last, with a little sigh, she turned and went back into the room where the rest of the family were.

The moment she came in, Rosalie turned on her.

‘What do you imagine you’re doing?’ she demanded furiously. ‘Have you no decency at all-snatching at Julian less than ten minutes after he was free?’

Alison pushed back her hair from her forehead with a characteristic gesture of nervousness.

‘I don’t know why you’re complaining, Rosalie. You don’t want Julian. You said so-without much display of the decency you mention. Well, I do want him and’-her voice trembled very slightly-’and he wants me. You’re going to be happy with Rodney Myrton. Why shouldn’t Julian and I be happy too?’

‘And do you really suppose I’m fool enough to believe that Julian really wants you?’ Rosalie’s cold contempt was very hard to stand. ‘You’re just a sort of salve to his injured vanity because-’

‘I’m not discussing that with you,’ Alison interrupted quietly. ‘Julian is my fiancé now, you might remember.’ And, fantastic though the whole situation was, she felt a warm, illogical feeling of pride and tenderness run all through her as she said that.

Rosalie began to speak again, but at this point Uncle Theodore seemed to think it time he took a hand. He turned from something he was saying to his wife and remarked:

‘I think that is enough, Rosalie. You can’t possibly have both young men without committing bigamy, and I am sure you wouldn’t dream of doing anything that would have such unpleasant consequences for yourself. Leave your cousin and her affairs alone. Julian is not your concern any longer. And you would give a more dignified impression if you didn’t show your disappointed spite so clearly.’

His stepdaughter didn’t reply. She gave him a look of intense dislike-which appeared to leave him entirely unmoved-and went out of the room without saying good night even to her mother.

‘Well, Alison’-Alison couldn’t help feeling that in some obscure way her uncle was enjoying all this-’we shan’t have any too much time to prepare for your wedding. But still, we must arrange something very nice for you.’

Alison was so moved at this that she flushed until the tears came into her eyes. But her aunt spoke very sharply.

‘I should think the best thing would be to have absolutely no fuss. She had better be married quietly in a register office.’

‘Certainly not.’ Uncle Theodore was almost amiable for him, and quite determined. ‘That’s no sort of marriage for a young girl. I am sure Alison agrees with me.’

‘I-I’d rather be married in a church,’ Alison said in a low voice.

‘Of course,’ her uncle said. ‘And, as a matter of fact, you’ll make an extremely pretty bride. You shall have things just as you want them.’

‘Oh, Uncle!’ Alison went to him suddenly and hid her face against his arm. ‘You are good to me. I don’t know why.’

Her uncle stroked her hair a little, very much to her surprise, and somewhat to his own, she thought. ‘It’s because you are a good, undemanding child,’ he told her.

‘Really, Theodore.’ Aunt Lydia couldn’t hide her vexed astonishment. ‘You seem a great deal better pleased and more interested about Julian’s engagement to Alison than ever you were when he was to marry Rosalie.’

‘I am,’ her husband said coolly. ‘I imagine Alison is genuinely fond of him, whereas Rosalie was marrying him simply for his money. And, of course,’ he added reflectively, ‘to marry a man for his money is about the most despicable thing any woman can do.’

Alison felt frightened at the expressionless way her uncle looked all over his wife, without appearing to see her. There was something unnerving in this passion of contemptuous dislike which never found expression in words.

But apparently Aunt Lydia was not so sensitive, or else she was a good actress. For after a moment she said with plaintive mildness:

‘Well, I don’t see how we’re going to afford two expensive weddings so close together.’

‘Then Rosalie can wait,’ was the curt reply.That did shake Aunt Lydia.

‘Rosalie-wait’? For Alison? Really, Theodore, I think you’re forgetting that Alison is really no relation of yours at all.’

‘Nor is Rosalie,’ retorted her husband brutally. ‘And, of the two, I would rather spend my money on Alison. She has always seemed to me to be a grateful, docile child, and very eager to please. I have never found Rosalie anything but a grasping, selfish, quite exceptionally disagreeable young person. That is all I have to say about it. And now, Alison, you had better run along to bed.’

Alison thought so too, and, with an impulsive hug for her uncle and a rather embarrassed good night to her aunt, she went away upstairs.

When she woke next morning she lay for quite a few minutes, watching the sunlight streaming in through the open curtains, and wondering why a sense of frightened exhilaration seemed to struggle with a feeling of apprehension.

Then suddenly she remembered.

She snatched her left hand out from under the coverlet. It was quite true. The thick gold of Julian’s signet ring glimmered on her finger.

For a moment she pressed her hand hard against her cheek so that she could feel his ring there-the ring which he himself had worn. He had said something about buying her another one-’anything she liked’. But she thought wistfully that she would much rather have kept this one.

Presently she got up and went downstairs. Her aunt and Rosalie were breakfasting in their rooms, but her uncle was already down, so she joined him.

He glanced up from The Times, said, ‘Good morning, Alison,’ absently, and then went back to his paper.

Alison wondered whether he were a little ashamed of his show of feeling last night, or whether it was that his interest had genuinely evaporated.

However, when he had finished his breakfast he folded up his newspaper with his usual precision, and looked across at her.

‘I suppose there’s a good deal to be done about your trousseau and that sort of thing,’ he said with masculine vagueness.

‘Well, I suppose-there is,’ Alison admitted a little uncomfortably.

Her uncle thoughtfully balanced his coffee-spoon on the edge of his cup.

‘I spoke to your aunt last night about it, and she doesn’t seem specially anxious to take the business in hand. Perhaps she feels she has enough to do for Rosalie already.’ He adjusted the balance of the spoon with meticulous care.

They didn’t look at each other, and after a moment Alison said gravely, ‘I dare say she does.’

Uncle Theodore cleared his throat.

‘It seems a bit of a responsibility for you on your own. Especially considering that you’re only out of school six or seven months. Have you any woman friend you can consult about it?’

‘Oh, no.’ Alison looked surprised. She hadn’t had many opportunities of making friends.

‘Well, you’d better speak to Julian about it.’ Her uncle had evidently come to the end of his suggestions. ‘One of his partners probably has a wife or a mother or someone he could ask I’m afraid I can’t help you over anything much but the bills.’ And he smiled a little grimly.

‘Oh, Uncle, I shan’t need very much-really.’ Alison spoke distressedly.

‘Nonsense, my dear, of course you will. Julian is a very rich man, with a big position to keep up. You don’t suppose I should let you go to him looking like a shabby little nobody?’

‘It seems-such a shame,’ Alison said in a low voice.

‘What does?’

‘That you-you’re always called on to do the paying.’

Her uncle laughed a little.

‘I assure you that twenty years of constant practice has perfected my technique,’ he said drily. ‘You needn’t bother your head about that.’ And he patted her fair, silky head not unkindly as he went off.

Alison had no wish to see either Rosalie or Aunt Lydia just then, so she deliberately made some jobs for herself in her own room.

Then presently one of the servants knocked on the door, to say that Mr. Tyndrum was waiting in the library.

‘Oh, yes, I’ll come.’

Alison glanced at herself in the mirror, ran a comb nervously through her hair, and hurried downstairs.

He was standing looking out of the window, his hands in his pockets, and he looked very tall and overwhelming silhouetted against the light.

At the sound of the opening door he turned and came towards her at once.

‘Did you-did you want to see me?’ Alison spoke a little breathlessly, and then thought what a ridiculous thing that was to say.

‘Well, yes, Alison, I did.’ He looked amused. ‘We have a good deal to discuss, haven’t we?’

Alison supposed they had.

‘I thought perhaps you would like to come with me now to choose your ring, and then we could have lunch together and talk things over. We haven’t a great deal of time, considering how much there is to be done before we leave.’

She noticed a little wistfully that he didn’t use the expression ‘before we are married.’

‘Very well, I’d like to come to lunch with you. But, Julian-’

‘Yes?’

‘About the ring. I-I’d just as soon keep this one, really.’

He looked so much surprised that she found herself blushing furiously.

‘Why, Alison, what an extraordinary idea.’

It-it is done sometimes,’ stammered Alison.

‘But only for sentiment’s sake, and that doesn’t apply in this case,’ he said with unconscious brutality.

Her colour ebbed again, and she was a little surprised even herself at the way her heart shrank before his careless frankness.

‘Why, you silly little goose.’ He laughed and took hold of her gently by her arm. ‘Are you trying to save me money or something? The exchequer will stand the strain of whatever it is you really want.’

With a tremendous effort she forced a smile.

‘Very well then. Thank you-very much.’

‘I believe you’ve forgotten you proposed this as a business deal,’ he reminded her amusedly. ‘Your role is to get as much out of it as possible.’

Alison was dumb; and he saw then that he had really hurt her.

‘I’m sorry, my child.’ He put his arm round her and drew her against him quickly. I was only teasing you. I’m not really suggesting you’re mercenary. I know you’re not. That’s why I shall enjoy giving you things.’

‘It’s all right.’ Alison managed another faint smile.

‘Sure?’ He put his hand under her chin and tipped her face up.’

‘Yes.’

She must say something that would make him let her go! She couldn’t possibly stand any sort of scrutiny.

‘You’ll have to tell me what you would like for a wedding present, too,’ he went on. ‘A fur coat, I suppose?’

That gave her her chance.

‘Oh, Julian, that reminds me.’ She moved quickly, so that he immediately released her. ‘Uncle Theodore said I was to speak to you about choosing my-my trousseau. You see-you see, Aunt Lydia isn’t at all anxious to help me, and I’m just a bit at sea when it comes to choosing such a big wardrobe.’

‘Of course,’ Julian spoke slowly and a little drily. ‘Your aunt would hardly want to be helpful in the circumstances.’

‘She’s rather busy,’ Alison offered timidly.

‘Busy helping Rosalie choose her trousseau, I suppose,’ he said bitterly. And, when Alison saw the angry misery in his face, her heart turned over sickeningly.

It showed her more clearly than anything else could have done how little she herself really counted. His forced gaiety, his little tenderness to her, just lay on the surface of his feelings. It was Rosalie-shallow, uncaring Rosalie- who had stirred the dark, still depths of his passion and affection. And, for a moment, Alison wondered if she could possibly go on with it all.

Then Julian passed his hand over his forehead rather bewilderedly and said:

‘You were saying-about your trousseau-’

She saw then, of course, that she had to go on. They were too far in it to turn back now. She couldn’t jilt him the day after Rosalie had. There were times when ridicule became the worst sort of tragedy-and that would be one of them.

She must just struggle on with the dreary pretence that he, too, was interested in her trousseau, though it all seemed rather silly and futile now.

‘Well, Uncle Theodore suggested that probably you would know somebody-I mean, a relation of one of your partners or someone like that-who wouldn’t mind helping me.’

She had a horrid sense of being in everyone’s way again, and she rather wished she had undertaken to muddle along on her own.

But Julian seemed to find it quite a reasonable suggestion.

‘Yes, of course. Jennifer Langtoft would be just the person. Simon Langtoft is our European sales manager,’ he added, ‘and I’ve known them both for years.’

‘Is Jennifer his wife?’

‘No, his sister.’

‘And do you think she would mind?’

‘Not in the least. It’s the kind of thing she loves. If you like, I’ll ring up Simon while you are getting ready, and see if they can both have dinner with us somewhere tonight,’ Julian said.

Thank you, Julian.’.

He gave her a little nod and picked up the telephone as she went out of the room.

By the time she came back, he appeared to have settled the business satisfactorily, because he said, Is eight o’clock at the Mirabelle all right for you?’

‘Oh, yes,’ Alison assured him, and couldn’t help wondering how he had explained the change in fiancées.

As Julian turned the grey Daimler into Knightsbridge Alison asked, ‘Does Jennifer Langtoft live with her brother?’

‘Yes.’

‘Then he’s not married?’

‘Oh, no.’ Julian laughed a little. ‘He’s not at all the marrying sort.’

‘What sort is he?’

Julian was looking ahead at the traffic lights.

‘Well, I suppose you would call him the kind that women always run after but never catch.’

‘Oh, I don’t think that sounds very nice,’ Alison said.

‘He is, I assure you. He can’t help being attractive, you know,’ Julian said amusedly.

‘Is he good-looking?’

‘No, not specially. At least, I shouldn’t call him so. But perhaps a woman would. Anyway, you will see him for yourself this evening.’

The car turned into Bond Street.

‘And what is she like?’

‘Oh, Jennifer is good-looking-very,’ Julian said warmly. ‘Tall and dark, dresses well, and- Here we are.’

He drew the car to a standstill, and Alison realised that she had only been talking so much because she was nervous. She didn’t really care what Simon Langtoft and his sister were like. But if she had sat in silence, turning over the thought that she was going with Julian to buy her engagement ring, her very heart-beats would have choked her.

In a dream she stared at the trays of rings that were set out for her inspection. She hadn’t the remotest idea what sort of ring she wanted. She felt as though she couldn’t possibly bring her mind to bear on the question.

‘Have you any special preference, Alison?’

Julian was standing beside her, eyeing the rings with polite attention.

‘No. I-well, I think perhaps diamonds, don’t you?’

He didn’t answer for a moment. Then he said rather coldly, ‘Just as you like.’

Glancing at him, she saw that his face was oddly expressionless.

Then she remembered.

She was a fool! Of course-Rosalie’s ring had been a diamond.

‘Or perhaps an emerald,’ she said quickly, blushing over her unfortunate slip.

He watched her while she tried on one or two with hands that trembled a little.

‘May I make a suggestion?’ Julian said, as the assistant turned away.

‘Of course.’

Then I should choose this one.’

He picked out a single blush-pink pearl of most exquisite sheen.

‘Would you?’ Alison slipped it on. It’s perfectly beautiful, of course. Why would you choose it?’

‘Because it is like you yourself.’

‘Like me?’ She looked up at him in surprise. ‘Why, how do you mean?’

‘It’s the same creamy pink as your cheeks, just where your lashes sweep them when you look down.’

‘Julian!’

She coloured deeply, and he laughed and said:

‘Oh, no. Now they don’t match at all.’

Alison was silent, overwhelmed by a wave of sweet yet painful emotion.

‘I’ll have this ring, please,’ she said at last in a voice that shook slightly.

And so it was settled.

Outside in the car again, she gave him back his signet ring. She hadn’t thought she could bear to part with it, but now the wrench scarcely hurt at all, because of what he had said about the one she had in its place.

Then he took her to lunch at some exclusive little place like nothing she had ever seen before. She left the choosing of the meal to him, and was pleased to find he either knew or guessed her tastes exceedingly well.

Over coffee he began to discuss their wedding, but so calmly that Alison found herself much more at ease about it.

She explained that her uncle was in favour of a church wedding with a certain amount of publicity, and, to her surprise, Julian agreed.

‘Most certainly,’ he said. ‘A very quiet wedding would be a mistake.’

‘Why?’ Alison couldn’t help asking.

‘Because, in the circumstances, the uncharitable might read almost anything into it,’ he told her drily.And, on reflection, Alison supposed, a little uncomfortably, that was true.

Afterwards, he drove her back to the house, and left her there with a promise to call for her at a quarter to eight that evening.

As Alison came into the hall, her aunt came out of her study.

‘Have you been shopping, Alison?’ she asked, without much show of interest in whatever Alison had been doing.

‘Yes’ At least, we-we went to buy my engagement ring. Do you like it?’

She held out her hand a little timidly for her aunt’s inspection.

‘Very nice,’ commented Aunt Lydia, as though it had come out of a Christmas cracker. ‘You’re not superstitious, then?’

‘Why?’

‘Oh, nothing. Only some people think pearls are very unlucky.’

‘She would say something like that,’ thought Alison indignantly.

But, without giving her a chance to reply, her aunt went on, ‘Have you made any arrangements about your trousseau?’

‘Well, yes. At least, a friend of Julian’s is going to help me choose it, as you are too-too busy.’

‘Really? What friend of Julian’s?’ Aunt Lydia seemed surprised.

‘Someone called Jennifer Langtoft. She’s the sister-’

‘Jennifer Langtoft!’ Her aunt made a significant little face. ‘And Julian suggested her?’

‘Yes.’

‘How exactly like a man. They really are the most blind and tactless creatures.’

‘Why? What is the matter with Jennifer Langtoft?’ Alison spoke a little apprehensively.

‘There’s nothing the matter with her, exactly,’ Aunt Lydia said. ‘Except that she’s always been extremely sweet on Julian herself. I believe Rosalie had quite a lot of trouble putting her in her place. I should have imagined that she would be the one to snap him up the moment he was free. However, of course, it’s a little late to say anything now.’

And with that she went back into her study and shut the door.

CHAPTER V

FOR a moment Alison stood staring after her aunt until the door closed. Then she turned away and slowly began to mount the stairs.

Was it just tactlessness or real malice that made Aunt Lydia say these things? she wondered.

There hadn’t been the smallest reason to make such a comment, quite apart from the fact that it was very unfair to the unknown Jennifer.

‘She just wanted to make me feel uneasy and miserable,’ Alison thought. And then: ‘Well, I won’t give her that satisfaction. It’s all too petty and absurd to worry any sane person.’

But of course, she couldn’t dismiss it entirely from her mind like that. Instead, she remembered the interest in Julian’s voice when he had said, ‘Oh, Jennifer is good-looking-very.’

‘And what about it?’ Alison asked herself fiercely. Hadn’t he also said that he had known her and her brother for years? And, in that case, if he had been going to fall for her, he would have done so long ago.

She tried not to listen to the little voice which said that there had always been Rosalie before to occupy his thoughts. Now there was no Rosalie-only the other half of ‘a business proposition’.

Alison sighed impatiently as she tossed down her hat on her bed. She had better go and find something to do if being unoccupied meant having these ridiculous fancies’

She went down again to her aunt’s study, and put her head in.

‘Can I do anything for you, Aunt Lydia?’

She managed to make that sound quite pleasant, although her feelings towards her aunt were not cordial.

‘Yes, Alison, you certainly can. I have been wondering how I was to get through all this.’ Aunt Lydia fingered a not very formidable pile of correspondence. ‘It’s most awkward having you so much occupied just now.’

Alison forbore to ask if she would have found it any less awkward at any other time.

‘I’ll do them for you, shall I?’ she offered.

‘I wish you would.’ Her aunt immediately gave up her thin pretence of examining them herself. Then, after a pause, she added, ‘I suppose I mustn’t expect much help from you, now that you don’t feel it necessary to study me any longer.’

‘How she does judge other people by herself,’ thought Alison. ‘No wonder Uncle Theodore despises her.’

But aloud she said, ‘I don’t imagine I shall be so busy as all that, Aunt Lydia. I’ll still do what I can to help you, of course.’

Her aunt appeared satisfied with that, although she didn’t seem to think that any thanks were called for.

Presently Alison looked up and said, ‘Do you think Audrey would like to be my bridesmaid?’

‘I suppose so.’ Her aunt sounded completely indifferent. ‘I don’t see that it matters much in any case. The whole thing is rather a farce, isn’t it?’

Alison bit her lip angrily.

‘You don’t expect me to agree with that, I suppose?’ she said curtly, without looking up.

‘Well, I don’t know what else one can think. Everyone knows that until eight o’clock yesterday evening Julian was infatuatedly in love with Rosalie. By nine he appears to have proposed to you-or you to him, I really can’t imagine which-and we’re all asked to regard the affair as perfectly normal.’

Alison was completely silent, her pen motionless in her hand. Put like that, in her aunt’s tone of slightly plaintive ridicule, the whole thing sounded absurd and hollow.

Was that how it was going to seem to Julian when he had had time to cool down and regard the whole situation calmly?

She stared unseeingly at the sheet of notepaper in front of her. And then, quite a long time afterwards, when it seemed that her aunt had nothing to add to her crushing analysis, Alison slowly went on writing. But she was not very sure what she was writing about.

It took more than an hour of patient work to finish all that Aunt Lydia wanted done, and then Alison went upstairs to her own room once more.

Sitting on the side of the bed, she tried to review the whole situation quite dispassionately.

In the first impulse of that crazy proposal they had both agreed that they had nothing to lose. She saw now that that was not strictly true. To refuse to take dangerous chances always meant that you retained a certain negative sense of safety and peace of mind.

The moment you embarked on anything like this fantastic arrangement you said good-bye to any security. Just now she was feeling like someone who had started to cross a raging torrent by means of a single-plank bridge. She had lost her nerve half-way, and now she didn’t know which was more impossible-to go forward or to go back.

Alison sighed and ruffled up her hair worriedly.

‘If only Aunt Lydia wouldn’t frighten me so much,’ she murmured.

That evening, she dressed with the greatest care, for she had an odd, proud little feeling that she must not let Julian down in front of his sophisticated friends. After all, it was the first time he was showing her off.

She put on the amber frock which had already seen her through such extraordinary adventures, and she brushed her hair until it looked like a gold silk cap.

Then she looked in the mirror, and saw that there was no need to put even the slightest touch of colour on her lips. They were soft and red and faintly damp like a child’s; and her eyes, wide and dark and velvety, were rather like a child’s too.

She was ready when Julian arrived, which seemed to amuse him a little.

‘You are a model of punctuality, Alison,’ he remarked. And she remembered that probably Rosalie considered it good policy to keep a man waiting indefinitely.

‘Well, I hate having to wait myself,’ Alison said candidly, ‘so I always take it that other people hate it too.’

‘A very proper and Victorian point of view,’ commented Julian, smiling, and he glanced at the amber dress as though he certainly had not seen it last night.

Alison’s small reserve of security deserted her.

‘Do you mean I look too Victorian in this?’ she asked nervously.

‘You look sweet,’ he told her carelessly. And, putting her evening coat round her, he took her out to the car.

To her surprise, there was a chauffeur to drive, that evening.

I didn’t know you had a chauffeur,’ she said involuntarily.

‘No? I have him mostly for long-distance driving. But sometimes in the evening, if I don’t want to be bothered with the car, he comes along. Why?’

‘Oh, nothing. I just wondered. Julian?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you very-I mean, do we have to keep up a good deal of social style when we-when we are married?’

He looked surprised.

‘I’m a pretty rich man, if that’s what you mean. I don’t know that I keep up very much style, as you call it, here. But of course out there there will be a big house to run, and a good many servants to look after, and a lot of entertaining to do. It’s just the natural thing there; part of the life, you know.’ And he smiled a little, as though the thought of it gave him pleasure.

‘And you really love the life, and want to get back?’

‘Of course, Alison.’ He sounded a trifle impatient, ‘That’s the sole reason for my side of this arrangement, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, of course.’

She spoke quickly, and hoped he didn’t notice how her colour had risen.

He might have noticed her colour and her silence, but just then the car drew up outside the floodlit portico of the Mirabelle, and he handed her out without comment.

There were a good many people in the spacious lounge, with its warm golden walls and its concealed lighting, but Simon and Jennifer Langtoft were not easy to overlook. They came forward at once, Jennifer in a frock of geranium red which owed nothing of its effect to ornament and everything to perfection of cut.

‘She’s the most finished person I’ve ever seen,’ thought Alison, and hoped that she herself didn’t look too much like a schoolgirl out for a treat.

But it didn’t seem to be any part of Jennifer’s social technique to make other people uncomfortable. She shook hands quite warmly and said:

‘I thought Julian told me you wanted advice about choosing your trousseau. But it looks to me as though you know all about what suits you already.’

‘She doesn’t want advice. She wants moral support.’ That was Simon Langtoft, speaking in a rather slow, lazy voice. ‘Then when she presents the bills to her father, or whatever poor wretch has the privilege of paying, she can justify everything by saying, "Well, Jennifer Langtoft says it’s absolutely necessary." Am I right?’ And he smiled straight into Alison’s eyes before he bent his head and lightly kissed her hand.

Alison had never had anyone kiss her hand before, and she found it rather thrilling and quite astonishingly gratifying. It would have seemed theatrical from most men, she supposed, but it was quite right as Simon did it.

‘No, I wasn’t really arguing it that way,’ she told him with a smile. ‘It’s only that I’ve never had to choose a big wardrobe before, and if Miss Langtoft doesn’t mind-’

‘I don’t mind in the least,’ Jennifer assured her. ‘I think the next best thing to buying expensive clothes yourself is to watch someone else being extravagant.’

‘No getting her into bad ways, Jennifer,’ warned Julian. ‘Don’t forget that I shall be the husband and universal provider afterwards.’

‘I shall not forget,’ Jennifer said.

She spoke banteringly, just as the two men had, but for some reason the way she said those words-’I shall not forget-reminded Alison forcibly of what Aunt Lydia had said. And for a moment she felt extremely uncomfortable.

As they came into the more brilliantly lighted restaurant, Alison had a better opportunity of studying the brother and sister. She had thought at first they had no single feature in common, but now she saw that they were alike in one thing -their extraordinarily dark eyes, which were not merely dark brown, but an absolutely genuine black. Their intensity gave a tremendous arresting character’ to both faces.

In Jennifer, the eyes were bright and sparkling. They matched the smooth black hair which was moulded to her admirably shaped head in one sweep, except for where it turned back one side towards the crown of her head in a long curve of extreme severity.

‘She has hair like a classical statue,’ thought Alison. ‘I wonder how on earth it’s done.’

Her face, a trifle too thin for youthful beauty, was rather like that of a statue too, and her figure was faultless.

No wonder Julian had described her as good-looking.

And of Simon he had said that he was the sort women always ran after but never caught.

Yes, Alison could imagine that was true.

His eyes were much more dangerous than Jennifer’s- opaque and quite unfathomable, with a glance that was extraordinarily direct, but all the more disconcerting for that You could look straight into his eyes, but you would never read what was hidden there.

In sharp contrast, his hair was almost fair, with a rather ingenuous wave in it; his mouth was firm, but his chin quite unmistakably cleft.

Alison thought she had heard once that a man with a cleft chin was invariably charming but unreliable, and wondered if there were anything in it.

He was an extraordinary man, she thought, but undeniably attractive.

Then Jennifer wanted to discuss the important matter of the trousseau, and the men talked business together for a while. But, although Alison thought her mind was entirely on what Jennifer was saying, she really noticed, too, how curiously Simon’s voice changed when he discussed business matters. It became decided, abrupt and entirely different from when he was speaking to her.

‘Of course, it complicates things, your going to the other side of the world, and having summer in the winter and that sort of thing,’ Jennifer was saying. ‘But we’ll manage all right’

‘I think Jennifer has been reading up Buenos Aires in the Encyclopaedia Britannica all day,’ said Simon, turning to Alison again. ‘She knows all about the climate, products, and population by now.’

‘Don’t be silly. I knew before,’ Jennifer said.

‘Did you really? How revoltingly learned of you,’ Simon. observed.

‘Nonsense. I just happened to read it up some time ago,’ his sister explained.

‘Most eccentric. Whatever made you do that?’

Jennifer suddenly looked rather put out.

‘Oh, I-I don’t know. I’ve forgotten.’

‘And yet you remember the climate, products, and population. Extraordinary girl,’ said her brother.

Jennifer laughed, but Alison thought she was a little vexed, and when Julian said, ‘Would you like to dance, Alison?’ she agreed eagerly.

‘Settled everything satisfactorily?’ he asked when they were alone.

‘Yes. Jennifer is coming with me to-morrow morning. She is very kind and helpful.’

‘I knew she would be,’ Julian nodded. ‘She’ll take on anything in an emergency, and she always does the job well.’

Alison supposed it was ridiculous to wonder whether- given time-he would have asked Jennifer to help him out of the major emergency which had come upon him.

There was no doubt about it, she would have ‘done the job well.’

When they came back to their table, Simon asked her to come and dance with him. She couldn’t very well refuse, of course, but she had an odd reluctance to be alone with him, and perhaps be subjected to his half-bantering remarks once more.

But she need have had no fear. Nothing could have been more considerate and charming than his air towards her. He danced well, but he didn’t talk much, and what he said was interesting.

In the car on the way home, Julian asked, ‘Did you enjoy yourself?’

‘Very much indeed. I liked them both.’

He nodded.

They are an interesting couple.’

There was a moment’s silence. And then:

‘Julian.’

‘Yes?’

‘Is he entirely reliable?’ She couldn’t imagine why she had said that, once it was put.

‘How do you mean? He is perfectly honest in business. Only, he’s a born gambler,’ Julian said.

Do you mean by temperament, or that he literally plays cards for money?’

‘Everything. Cards, racing, stocks and shares. Yes-and in general temperament too. I’ve seen him lose three years’ salary in half an hour and win it all back again without turning a hair.’

‘And does he usually win in the end?’ Alison asked, a little fearfully.

Julian laughed.

‘I couldn’t say, Alison. He has never reached the stage of trying to borrow from me. That’s all I know. But then I dare say he knows it wouldn’t be any good.’

Alison glanced at his profile in the passing lamplight and thought it looked grim.

‘Wouldn’t you-wouldn’t you lend money to a friend, Julian?’ she said timidly.

‘Not for that reason. If you start lending to a gambler you soon find you have all the expense and none of the thrill-if there is any thrill.’

Then you have no leaning towards it yourself?’

‘Good lord, no. Do I look like a gambler?’

‘No,’ Alison was bound to admit. ‘No, Julian, you don’t. But I suppose this marriage is a bit of a gamble, isn’t it?’ she said consideringly.

‘I suppose it is.’ He looked amused. Though, if I remember rightly, you represented it to me as "a dead cert". Besides, what about your own risks, you little gambler, yourself?’ And, putting out his arm, he drew her against him.

‘I’ve told you-I’m willing to take the risk to get away from Aunt Lydia,’ she said doggedly, glad that she need not look at him.

‘And I’ve told you-I’m willing to take the risk in order to get this job in Buenos Aires,’ he mimicked her gently. ‘So we’re quits.’ And she felt him drop a light kiss on the top of her head.

It wasn’t a real kiss, of course-more the kind he might give Audrey. But somehow it sent Alison to bed that night infinitely comforted.

The next morning, Alison again had breakfast alone with her uncle. Aunt Lydia almost always chose to breakfast in her room, and Rosalie was either doing the same or else had already departed on some convenient visit which would probably be her way of avoiding any awkward meetings with her cousin.

Uncle Theodore looked up and gave her an impersonal ‘Good morning, Alison.’ But she thought he was not at all averse to having her there opposite him.’Well, what did you do yesterday?’ he asked, and she noticed that this time he even disregarded his paper to talk to her.

‘We-we bought my ring,’ Alison told him, a little anxiously, in case, for some reason, he should find it as unimportant as her aunt had.

‘Did you? Let me see it.’

Alison held out her hand, and he took it in his thin, dry fingers.

‘Ve-ry beautiful. Most unusual shade. Let me see it off your hand.’ Her uncle looked almost enthusiastic, and she remembered that Aunt Lydia had once said he was something of an authority on pearls.

She took off the ring and handed it to him. He examined it with such attention that she had the uneasy feeling he would have taken it out of its setting, if he had had the means handy, and weighed it and valued it there and then. Still, even this academic interest in her ring was welcome after Aunt Lydia ’s slighting treatment.

‘Yes That’s very fine.’ Her uncle handed the ring back. ‘Certainly Julian knows how to buy jewels for a woman. Diamonds suited Rosalie, and pink pearls suit you.’

The reference to Rosalie slightly disconcerted Alison. Then, on sudden impulse, she exclaimed, ‘Julian said the pearl was like me.’

‘Did he, indeed?’ Uncle Theodore looked amused. ‘Very pretty compliment-and nearer the truth than most.’

Alison laughed then, and felt glad, somehow, that she had told him. To have someone else appreciate Julian’s remark seemed to make it more real.

‘I’ve arranged about choosing my trousseau, too, Uncle Theodore.’

‘Oh? With your aunt, after all?’

‘Oh, no.’ Alison was very thankful to think that she would not have to have Aunt Lydia with her all the time, disparaging and sowing miserable doubts in her mind. Jennifer would be very much pleasanter company. ‘I took your advice and spoke to Julian about it. A friend of his is coming with me. We’re starting this morning, because there isn’t much time, is there?’

‘No, I suppose there’s not,’ her uncle agreed. ‘When do you leave? Early November?’

‘Yes.’ It gave Alison a queer feeling to realise how near it was.

‘It’s a big step for you, Alison.’ Her uncle thoughtfully spread butter on a piece of toast.

‘Y-yes, I know.’ Something in his tone made her wonder what was coming next.

Then he shot a look at her.

‘You are genuinely fond of Julian, aren’t you?’

‘Why-yes, Uncle.’ Alison spoke after a second’s hesitation. It was true enough, of course, but, when she remembered the exact circumstances of the case, she felt all the guilt of having told a lie. She did love Julian, yet she must pretend to him that she didn’t, and to everyone else that she did. It was a terrifying network.

‘Well, Alison’-her uncle spoke rather deliberately-’I don’t often give advice to people of your age. For one thing, I know how little effect it usually has. But I should be sorry to see you make the mistake that so many women do.’

‘And what is that?’ Alison asked in a small voice.

He looked up and smiled.

‘You needn’t sound so alarmed. I don’t imagine it applies to you. But don’t ever marry a man for any reason but the one you give to him. He invariably finds you out-and usually much sooner than most of you expect.’

Alison sat there wordless. She tried desperately to produce a little laugh, but she couldn’t. It stuck in her throat and made her want to cry instead.

Her uncle couldn’t possibly know the truth, of course. He was thinking of women like Aunt Lydia, who pretended love and married for money. But the odd significance of the remark gave her an almost superstitious chill.

Suppose Julian ever did find out? Discovered that her talk of ‘a business proposition’ was all sham? Found that he had saddled himself with a fond wife for whom he didn’t care in the least? Suppose-

With a tremendous effort, she dragged herself back to the present. Her uncle was looking at her now a little puzzledly, she thought.

‘I-I’d marry him just the same if he were quite a poor man. Is that what you mean?’ she got out at last.

He didn’t answer directly, but he gave a satisfied little laugh. And after a moment he said:

‘And who is this friend of Julian’s who is going to advise you?’

‘Someone called Jennifer Langtoft. I met her last night. She seemed very nice.’

‘Langtoft? Simon Langtoft’s sister, isn’t she?’

‘Yes.’

‘Hm! Couple of adventurers,’ her uncle remarked disagreeably.

‘Julian says he is perfectly trustworthy in business,’ Alison felt bound to say.

‘Oh, that may be. Though I should never trust that type far myself,’ Uncle Theodore declared. ‘That wasn’t quite what I meant.’

But he didn’t offer to say what he did mean, and Alison felt a little diffident of asking. In any case, so far as she was concerned, the Langtofts had been kind, and. as they were not likely to figure in her life for more than a week or two, the matter didn’t seem of very great importance.

‘Well, Alison,’ her uncle said-and she realised that he had taken out his cheque-book and was beginning to write in it-’if you’re beginning on your shopping to-day, you had better feel you have something behind you.’

Alison flushed a little, and smiled as her uncle handed her the cheque. Then, as she glanced at the amount, she went scarlet and then quite pale.

The cheque was for a thousand pounds.

‘But, Uncle Theodore!’ Alison pushed back her chair and got rather unsteadily to her feet. ‘I couldn’t possibly take all this. It’s-it’s a fortune!’

‘Nonsense,’ said her uncle. ‘I’m certain Rosalie will be extremely dissatisfied with twice that amount.’

‘It’s nothing to do with Rosalie. It’s just between you and me. And I-I don’t know what to say.’ Alison threw her arms round her uncle’s neck and kissed him.

‘There, Alison.’ He patted her shoulder firmly. ‘There’s no need to be so emotional about it. Having taken on the responsibility of your welfare, I naturally expect to see you decently provided for when you marry.’

‘Don’t try to explain it away,’ Alison said, rubbing her cheek against him affectionately. ‘It’s so wonderful of you.’

Her uncle gave her a kiss, and pushed her away, but not ungently.

‘You’re a good child,’ he said. ‘I hope you’ll be happy with your Julian.’

‘Oh, I shall, I shall,’ Alison told him fervently. And at that moment she believed it.

As soon as he had gone, she ran up to her room to get ready. She was to meet Jennifer at their flat in Chelsea, and her uncle’s kindness had already given a delicious air of excitement to the whole business.

It was not only his actual generosity. It was his whole attitude. Everything was so different, so different, if only someone showed a little kindly interest.

The very sun shone more brightly, she thought when she got outside.

The Chelsea flat, if rather less solidly dignified than her uncle and aunt’s house, was at least as luxurious. And, as a quiet-voiced manservant ushered Alison into the black and oyster lounge, she couldn’t repress the amused reflection that Simon Langtoft had certainly not gambled away all their money.

Jennifer came in almost immediately, and seemed pleased at Alison’s admiration.

‘Yes, it’s a nice flat, isn’t it?’ she agreed. ‘I’m rather proud of it, because I’m responsible for choosing all the decorations here. Simon is crazy about a cottage we have in Sussex, so he lets me do what I like here, and I let him have a free hand there. Then we can’t quarrel.’

‘But I shouldn’t think you ever quarrel, anyway,’ Alison said with a smile.

‘No, practically never. I’m pretty good-tempered and he is very, so there’s scarcely ever an explosion Would you like to see the rest of the place? It won’t take s moment.’

Alison thought she would, and Jennifer led the way through the spacious and beautifully arranged flat.

It was just as she was going out of Jennifer’s bedroom that Alison saw the photograph of Julian Not exactly the Julian she knew. Younger, not quite sure of himself, and a tiny bit sulky.

‘Why that’s Julian, isn’t it?’ she said involuntarily.

‘Yes. Jennifer picked up the photograph and held it out to her ‘Have you never seen that one of him? It was very good at the time.’

Alison took it wordlessly. Of course she had never seen it. She had never seen any photograph of Julian, nor shared any part of his life. She felt a wave of angry pain which she was ashamed to identify as jealousy.

She pretended to study the photograph intently, and at last Jennifer said:

‘You’ll have to get him to give you a copy if you like it so much.’

‘Yes;’ Alison said rather flatly, as she handed the photograph back But of course she could never ask Julian for a photograph Anyone else could. Any casual. half interested, uncaring acquaintance. But she couldn’t because if might imply something that she dare not have implied.

Yet Jennifer had his photograph-and she kept it in her bedroom.

It was an absurdly small incident to spoil the whole morning, and yet, struggle as she would to be sensible about it, Alison was unable to shake off her resentment and depression.

As she sat beside the capable Jennifer in the little car which she drove herself, as she listened to her, obviously in her element, at the famous dress-house to which they went, Alison thought more than once:

‘She would have been perfect in the position of Julian’s wife. I wonder if she is thinking that too?’

For Alison was beginning to realise that, open and gay and vivacious though Jennifer seemed, she didn’t really give away any more than the deliberately inscrutable Simon.

‘Perhaps that is the secret of appearing sophisticated and finished,’ Alison thought wistfully. And then, a trifle anxiously, ‘I shall have to learn how to do it too, if only for Julian’s sake.’

There were a lot of things she was going to have to learn for Julian’s sake.

‘And I don’t mind. I’ll try so hard-so terribly hard,’ Alison told herself with passionate sincerity. It was ridiculous and pathetic, but she suddenly found that, instead of watching the languid mannequins as they swayed past, she was praying frantically, ‘Give me a little time-just a little time. Please, God. I’ll learn to be like these people, so that Julian will be happy with me. Only don’t let him notice the difference and be disappointed, before I have time.’

‘Alison, how serious you are!’ Jennifer turned from a discussion with the saleswoman, and laughed slightly. ‘Don’t you like any of these?’

‘Oh, yes!’ Alison felt she would not have dreamed of insulting this elegant salon and its dazzling occupants by suggesting she didn’t like anything. Besides, she did like them. Only, even with Uncle Theodore’s cheque in her handbag, it was hard to believe that any of these Rosalie-like creations were really to be hers.

However, the next two hours did a good deal to convince her otherwise.

Jennifer was not at all overbearing. She gave Alison’s own timid suggestions an attention which Aunt Lydia would have scorned to show, and contented herself with advising from her greater experience, without making Alison feel mentally deficient.

It was when the question of her wedding-dress itself arose that Alison became unexpectedly positive.

‘She is too young for the hardness of dead white,’ the saleswoman said. ‘She needs the softness of old ivory.’

‘Something cloudy in effect, I think,’ began Jennifer, frowning thoughtfully.

‘I want something like this, please.’ Alison determinedly held out her hand, on which the pink pearl glimmered rosily.

Jennifer smiled, a little puzzled, but the saleswoman said, ‘I know what you mean. Wait. There is some silk we had from Paris. this morning.’

She disappeared behind the grey curtains at the end of the salon, to return a minute or two later with a roll of silk. She tossed a great fold of it over her hand. so that it cascaded to the floor with the semi-opaque milkiness of alabaster Then under it she put a length of silk that was the pink of a winter sunset.

‘Beautiful!’ Jennifer said. ‘That warm glow is heavenly. It will be specially becoming for you, Alison.’

Alison said nothing at all. She silently stretched out her hand and very gently stroked the silk.

Afterwards. when they were having lunch together, Jennifer said:

‘I suppose you are going to have some sort of a honeymoon before you leave England, even if it’s only a long week-end?

‘I suppose so.’ Alison, acutely conscious of knowing no more about it than Jennifer, felt unable to add anything to that.

Besides, somehow, the very mention of their honeymoon had turned quite another side of her future life towards her.

So much had been said and thought and planned about the more public part of this queer marriage What people were to think: the wedding which was to appear so normal on the surface: the life they were to lead out in Buenos Aires-every point had been studied to give the right effect.

‘Was it tactless of me to ask about your honeymoon? Perhaps it’s a dead secret?’ Jennifer was smiling.

‘Oh, no!’ Alison assured her earnestly. ‘We-we just haven’t decided yet, that’s all.’

‘I see Only you were so silent and thoughtful.’

She really must manage better than this!

‘I was wondering what I would choose for my going-away outfit,’ Alison lied gallantly.

‘Oh.’ Jennifer could evidently understand being silent and thoughtful about that. ‘If I were you, I should wear that little suit you are having in the deep, dusky pink. It will go wonderfully under Julian’s wedding present. He’s giving you a mink coat, isn’t he?’

‘Mink!’ Alison couldn’t hide her gratified astonishment. ‘Is he?’

‘Why, yes. Didn’t you know?’ Jennifer seemed amused. ‘He telephoned me this morning about it, so that we could keep that in mind when we were choosing other things. I thought he must have told you too.’

‘Well. he said something about a fur coat,’ Alison admitted ‘But I hadn’t supposed it would be mink.’

‘Why not? It will suit you beautifully.’

‘Yes, I know. It would suit anyone. But it’s so frightfully-sumptuous. I’d never imagined myself in mink.’

‘You are a funny girl,’ Jennifer told her. ‘I believe it’s that artless, unworldly air of yours that men find so attractive.’

‘What men?’ Alison said, opening her brown eyes very wide.

Jennifer laughed.

‘Well Julian for one, of course.’

‘Oh, yes-of course-Julian.’

‘And Simon too.’ Jennifer shot a queer, amused glance across the table.

‘Simon? What makes you think he finds me attractive?’

‘He said so, And I can assure you, Alison,’ Jennifer added, as she pushed away her coffee-cup, ‘that I never remember his admitting before that he found any girl attractive.’

Alison didn’t know quite what to say in answer to this statement, so she remained silent.

But, during the next few busy, bewildering weeks, she remembered it more than once with a slight feeling of reassurance For if the sought-after Simon Langtoft found her attractive, surely it was not so unreasonable to hope that one day Julian would find her so too?

Aunt Lydia. having once had to bow to the inevitable, rather unexpectedly insisted on managing the wedding arrangements. She hadn’t wanted the wedding at all, but, since it was there, in her family-a matter for the admiration or criticism of her circle-every detail should be stage-managed perfectly.

The artificiality and insincerity of it all wearied. Alison, but she thought it best to let her aunt have her own way.

In contrast, she was touched to something between laughter and tears by the brutal frankness of Audrey’s letter.

‘Dear Alison,-I’m glad you got Julian after all,’ she began without preamble. ‘He was much too nice for Rosalie. But it was a near thing, wasn’t it? I don’t mind being your bridesmaid, and I’ll try not to step on your train. I’ve written to Theo about a present for you. Mother will probably buy something in our name to make it look good among the other presents, but we’d like to give you something ourselves. What would you like? Anything up to ten shillings. We can’t spare more as we have spent most of our pocket-money for the term. Write and tell me what you choose. Lots of love.-Audrey.’

They are darlings,’ Alison thought warmly. ‘I’d rather have the present they’re going to squeeze out of their pocket money than all the others. Except perhaps Julian’s present,’ she added after a moment, and smiled to herself.

Julian brought her his present himself, on the evening before their wedding day.

The last trunks had been packed and stood there now outside her bedroom door, new and shiny, all ready labelled for their journey across the world. Her wedding-dress, with its cloud-like veil of rosy tulle, hung, almost solitary, in her wardrobe. Even her smaller suitcases were packed, ready to accompany her on the motoring week-end in the West of England which was to be their honeymoon.

Every link with her old life was snapping, Alison thought, as she went downstairs to join Julian in the library.

He insisted on her putting on the coat there and then, and he stood there regarding her with an expression of unmistakable pleasure.

‘Oh, Julian, it’s lovely!’ As she nervously smoothed her hands over the rich, silky fur, Alison longed suddenly to be able to kiss him. It seemed tragic and ridiculous that she was going to marry him to-morrow, and yet she had never kissed him.

‘I’m glad you like it,’ he said. ‘You look sweet in it.’

‘Julian ‘ She didn’t attempt to go to him.

‘Yes.’

‘May I kiss you for it?’

‘Why. Alison child, of course.’ He came over to her at once. But before he could touch her, there was a knock at the door, and a servant announced, ‘Mr. Langtoft.’

‘Simon!’ Julian turned, with something like annoyance as well as surprise.

Simon came straight across the room. He looked as nearly agitated as Alison could imagine him looking, and it frightened her suddenly.

‘I’m sorry to barge in like this.’ His voice had lost its slow laziness ‘But this cable has just arrived at the office for you. I thought you’d better have it at once.’

Alison watched the two men with a curious sort of detachment as they stood there under the light, like figures on a stage.

She saw Julian rip the cablegram out of its envelope, read it and then go slowly white.

‘What is it, Julian?’ she said in a whisper. ‘What is it?’

He handed her the paper without a word, and slowly she read the squarely printed letters:

‘CANCEL FLIGHT ARRANGEMENTS BUSINESS CRISIS NECESSITATES ENTIRE REARRANGEMENT OF OFFICE HERE. WRITING AIR MAIL. FARADAY.

She was very distinctly conscious of the loud ticking of the clock in. the silent room, of the nervous opening and closing of Julian’s hand, of the rustle of the cablegram in her own fingers. And then-somehow, much more startling and significant than all of these-that Simon Langtoft was watching her intently with those curious black eyes of his.

CHAPTER VI

IT was Julian who spoke first.He turned to Simon a little stiffly, as though his muscles were tense and it was a physical impossibility to relax them.

‘Thanks for coming straight along. We’ll have to make- some alterations in our plans, of course.’

He spoke slowly, a little jerkily, like someone struggling to retain consciousness. And at that Alison forgot her own distress and fear in her overwhelming pity for him.

‘Julian.’ She came and stood beside him, longing to say something that would comfort him. But she couldn’t think of anything. She just slipped her hand into his and held it very hard.

He glanced at her as though he had forgotten her existence. Then, as her timid smile seemed to reach him, his fingers closed tightly on hers with a sort of bewildered relief.

‘Perhaps it will only mean putting off going for a short while,’ she suggested gently.

But Julian shook his head.

‘No. If Faraday had authority to sign that cable it almost certainly means the big amalgamation which they tried to put through the last year. Don’t you think so, Simon?’

‘I’m afraid so.’ Simon was no longer watching anybody in particular, and she wondered confusedly why she had thought his expression so peculiar a minute ago. ‘Of course, Faraday always wanted that job himself, and if there has been an amalgamation it will mean much more influence for him.’

‘Exactly. He’ll make out a good case for filling the post from that side, and-’ Julian completed the sentence by a significant gesture of one hand, while with the other he still held tightly to Alison’s fingers.

‘It’s rotten luck for you,’ Simon said. ‘You were specially anxious to get out there again, weren’t you?’

‘Yes.’ Julian spoke curtly, but, Alison saw, he was almost completely master of himself again. ‘Still, we can’t tell much until the letter comes. It will probably arrive while we’re on-while we are away. I’ll leave you to open it and deal with it as you think best.’

‘Yes, I will. And the arrangements for to-morrow are to stand, of course?’ Simon’s voice expressed nothing more than the bare query.

There was a second’s pause. Neither Julian nor Alison looked at each other. Then Julian said:

‘Of course.’

Alison had felt her heart stop when Simon asked that question; and then, at Julian’s reply, it went racing on again, thumping against her ribs so that she thought the two men must hear it.

‘Why should you suppose anything else?’ Julian spoke sharply, almost haughtily.

‘No reason at all,’ Simon said lightly. ‘Only, as best man, I naturally want to have everything clear.’

‘Naturally,’ Julian agreed, just a little drily.

‘Well, I won’t keep you two any longer.’ Simon turned to Alison with a smile. ‘Good night, Alison. When I see you to-morrow you mustn’t be looking so pale as this. Don’t have too many regrets for Buenos Aires. We’ll contrive to give you quite a good time in London.’

‘Thank you, Simon.’ Alison managed to smile in return.

The two men exchanged a nod, and Simon went out of the room. They heard him say a word to one of the servants as he crossed the hall. There was the sound of the front door closing. And then-silence.

With an effort, Alison raised her eyes to Julian’s face, and in return she received that sombre, absent look which seemed to take no account of her in his scheme of things.

There were a dozen things she might have said-tactful, well-considered things that would have helped to gloss the moment over.

She said none of them. She merely stated crudely and painfully: ‘You-don’t have to marry me, Julian.’

‘What do you mean?’

The very slightest smile broke the tenseness of his expression.

Alison dropped her eyes, her own expression almost sulky in the effort not to betray her feelings.

‘Well, your reason for the marriage is gone, isn’t it?’ she reminded him doggedly. ‘You were only marrying because it was necessary to have a wife in this South American job. Now that you can’t have the job anyway, you-you don’t need a wife.’

‘But your reason is still there,’ he said gently, and, loosing her hand at last, he put his arm round her. ‘You don’t really suppose I should back out now, do you?’

‘It’s terribly like being-caught, though,’ Alison murmured unhappily. ‘In a way, I rushed us both into this. If you’d taken normal time to think about it-’

But he wouldn’t let her finish.

‘My dear child, it was I who insisted on rushing things. It’s easy enough for us to be wise now and say we should have waited, but I absolutely refuse to have you blaming yourself. In any case, if we were going to do it at all, we had to do it quickly. It’s just bad luck that things haven’t turned out as we expected.’

‘Yes, I know.’ Alison’s voice was very little more than a whisper. ‘Only I-I don’t want to hold you to the bargain. I mean-well, it’s rather awful for you staying here among all the people you know, married to someone for a reason that no longer exists.’

‘Do you propose that I should jilt you?’ he asked quietly.

‘We could just say we had made a mistake.’

‘And what do you suppose it would be like for you, being thrust back on your aunt’s hands?’

Alison moved slightly in the circle of his arm.

‘Well, that’s my affair, isn’t it?’ she said a little sulkily. ‘Not yours.’

‘No, Alison.’ Julian spoke quietly. ‘That’s where you’re wrong. You are my affair now. For good or bad we made that decision four weeks ago. God knows what sort of a muddle we’ve landed ourselves in. You were just as unprepared for this as I, and will probably have some difficult readjusting, too. But at least we’re in it now-and we’ve got to go on.’

‘But I don’t want you making such a sacrifice-’ began Alison desperately.

‘Hush.’ He very lightly put his hand against her startled mouth. ‘There’s no question of sacrifice. Don’t you see that it would be as unpleasant for me as for you if we called everything off now? I simply can’t afford another fiasco after the business with-Rosalie. I’m not exactly sensitive’- (‘That’s not true,’ thought Alison with quick tenderness)-’but I must confess I couldn’t face much more.’

‘Do you really mean that?’ She looked up at him very earnestly.’

‘I do’ He gave his grave smile at her.

‘Then we’ll go on with it,’ she said with a little sigh.

‘Good child.’ He tightened his arm for a moment before he let her go.

Then. glancing at his watch, he gave an exclamation.

‘I had no idea it was so late. I must go. There are several things I shall have to do before to-morrow. For one, I must see about keeping on my flat until we can get something that suite us better.’

‘Yes,’ Alison said. And she was oddly stirred at the mention of their future life together, just as she had been when Jennifer had spoken of their honeymoon.

‘Would you like me to see your aunt and uncle, and explain about our remaining in England?’

‘No, it doesn’t matter.’ Alison smiled faintly at his unconscious assumption that she needed to have things done for her. He would never think of her as entirely grown up. ‘I’ll explain. I’ll just say we’re postponing the trip indefinitely.’

‘Yes, that might be best.’

She went with him into the hall, and he said good night to her kindly but a little absently, his thoughts already on the many things he had to do.

When he had gone, she went slowly upstairs. She hung the wonderful mink coat in the wardrobe beside her wedding-dress. It looked very beautiful there.

‘The bridegroom’s present to the bride was a mink coat.’

But the bride had not been able to kiss him for it. Even that had been denied her. He had forgotten all about that timid suggestion of hers, of course. It was quite natural that he should. But she had remembered. That was natural, too.

She put out her hand and touched the coat wistfully.

Then very quietly she closed the wardrobe door on her wedding-dress and the present from the bridegroom.

She supposed she ought to go downstairs and explain to the others about the change of plans. But for the moment she flinched from the thought of playing her part in front of them all over again-being questioned, perhaps even being laughed at by Rosalie, who had come home from her prolonged visit only that afternoon.

And as she sat there on the side of her bed, trying to get up her courage, there was a knock at the door.

‘Come in.’

Alison looked up as the door opened and Audrey, in her dressing-gown, insinuated herself round it.

‘Why, Audrey, you ought to be in bed and asleep!’

‘Yes, I know.’ Audrey was quite unabashed. ‘But I wanted to see your wedding-dress. I haven’t seen anything interesting-not being allowed to come home from school until to-day, and then being hustled in and out of my own dress and having my hair done, and being sent off to bed early and all that sort of thing. You’d think it was Mother’s own wedding,’ she added bitterly.

Alison laughed.

‘But you’ll see my dress to-morrow,’ she said.

‘That’s not the same thing at all.’ Audrey was firm.

‘All right,’ Alison went over and opened the wardrobe door once more.

‘Ooooh!’ Audrey sucked in her breath on an admiring sigh. ‘You’ll look awfully good in that.’

‘I hope so,’ Alison said, touched by the little girl’s interest.

‘And what a marvellous fur coat!’ Audrey turned her attention to that next.

‘Yes, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ Alison felt her own pleasure in the coat revive at Audrey’s enthusiasm ‘That’s Julian’s present to me,’ she added a little shyly.

‘My goodness! I should think Rosalie’ll be sick she lost him when she sees that,’ Audrey remarked with great candour.

‘Audrey! You mustn’t say such things.’ Distress and nervousness sharpened Alison’s voice.

‘Sorry. But it’s true. Rosalie would almost have put up with going to South America to have that. Still, she’d have loathed South America, when it came to the point,’ Audrey added. ‘And I expect you’ll quite enjoy it.’

There was a second or two’s silence, and then Alison said flatly:

‘We’re not going to South America.’

‘Not going?’

‘No.’ Alison went on hastily, because she felt she couldn’t bear too many exclamations and questions. ‘Julian’s firm have just cabled to say they’re making other arrangements.’

‘And so Julian is going to live in England after all?’

‘I suppose so.’

‘My goodness!’ said Audrey, that being her chief exclamation of the moment. ‘Won’t Rosalie be sold!’

‘Audrey!’ Alison said rather faintly, but it failed to stem Audrey’s half-shocked jubilation.

‘Why, she only threw him over because she didn’t want to leave England. She’ll chew her finger-ends off when she hears.’

‘That will do.’ Alison spoke sternly enough to suppress even Audrey. ‘Your sister has nothing to do with this. She’s -she’s happily engaged to Rodney Myrton and it can’t matter to her whether Julian and I live in London or in Buenos Aires. Now go along to bed, or I shall be really angry with you.’

Audrey retreated then, but the last thing Alison heard was a scornful mutter of ‘Happily engaged!’

It frightened her terribly to have Audrey putting her own fears into words.

Was it really true that Rosalie had only thrown Julian over because she couldn’t face living abroad? It couldn’t be the only reason, of course. There must have been some sort of a quarrel, too. But probably that was at the back of it.

Alison pressed her hands against her eyes with a weary little gesture.

It was no good tormenting herself with doubts now. As Julian had said, for good or bad they had made their decision. They would have to stand by it.

It was quite late when Alison woke up, and the pale sunshine of a cold October day was struggling into the room.

Then she realised that Prentiss, her aunt’s maid, was standing beside the bed, holding a breakfast tray, her usually rather frost-bitten expression warmed by a smile.

‘Why, Prentiss, how kind of you.’ Alison leaned up on her elbow and smiled in return.

‘Madam said you were to have your breakfast in bed, miss and then to stay quiet until it’s time for you to dress. I’ll come and see to everything. Help you dress and fix your hair and everything.’

‘Oh. thank you very much,’ Alison said, a little nonplussed at this unwonted attention, and she watched with some amusement while Prentiss went over and pulled the curtains aside.

But as she ate her breakfast she became very serious again.

This morning she was to marry Julian.

It might be a strange marriage It might be scarcely a marriage at all in some senses of the word. But the fact remained. she was to be Julian’s wife; to have some significance in his life unshared by any other woman.

She lay back again, feeling curiously awed and humble.

‘I’ll be good to you, Julian,’ she thought very tenderly. ‘You haven’t found people very kind, but I’ll try never to hurt you as the others have.’

She didn’t name Rosalie even in her own thoughts, because she had an idea that she didn’t want to have any feelings of bitterness and resentment just now. But; in some indefinable way, she felt that it was for her to bridge the gap that had been torn in Julian’s happiness and affections.

It was that thought which kept her very quiet and serious while she was dressing-all the time Prentiss was brushing her shining hair and fastening her into the wedding-dress.

Her aunt came in just as the yards of rosy tulle veil were being adjusted.

‘Yes, very nice,’ she said, inspecting Alison critically. ‘No, no, Prentiss-a little further forward on her head. That’s better. Now don’t forget to hold your head up, Alison, when you are coming out, You can look down and be as shy as you like when you come in. It isn’t important then. But raise your head when you are coming out of the church. Otherwise it doesn’t give the Press photographers a chance, and you’ll look as though you have a double chin.’

‘Very well, Aunt Lydia,’ Alison promised meekly. It amused her a little that, when it came to the point, her aunt had been quite unable to keep up her apparent lack of interest in anything which appealed to her so strongly as a social show.

‘I wish she’d go,’ Alison thought. ‘She makes it all seem so cheap and-and worldly.’

Then she suddenly remembered about the cablegram from Buenos Aires.

‘Oh, Aunt Lydia -’

‘I can’t wait now,’ her aunt said. ‘It’s time I went. If the first arrivals are late it means the whole thing is disorganised. Good-bye, child. Try to make yourself heard, though that isn’t so very important, really. And don’t forget about looking up.’

Aunt Lydia went out, closing the door behind her. Oh, well, it couldn’t be helped. Explanations would have to come after the ceremony.

Alison stood where she was, facing her own reflection in the glass. But she scarcely took in what she saw there. She was listening to the sounds of departure downstairs.

And then a servant knocked on the door.

Mr. Leadburn wanted to know if Miss Alison was ready. It was time they were going.

Alison picked up her great sheaf of deep pink roses, and glanced round her unpretentious little bedroom.

Next time she saw it she would be Alison Tyndrum- Julian’s wife.

Uncle Theodore was waiting in the hall, and he smiled as she came slowly down the stairs.

‘Dear me,’ he observed approvingly, ‘Julian certainly has a very pretty bride.’

‘Thank you, Uncle.’ Alison smiled in return and took his arm affectionately. She was glad it was her uncle with whom she had to go, for his kindly but matter-of-fact air steadied her.

She glanced shyly and a little incredulously at the group of sight-seers as she went out to the car. It was first and last time in her life that she was likely to attract a crowd, she thought with faint amusement.

And then she was driving through the streets beside Uncle Theodore, with the strange, dreamlike knowledge that, somewhere at the end of this journey, Julian was waiting to make her his wife.

‘Feeling nervous?’ Her uncle patted her hand.

‘No, not very,’ Alison said, and it was true. She was not trembling any more, and her heart was beating calmly and regularly again. Only her breathing was shallow and rapid. But that was really more excitement than nervousness.

‘Well, I expect you will have a pretty full programme from now on until you leave.’

That reminded her.

‘Oh, Uncle Theodore, we aren’t going to Buenos Aires after all. There was a cable for Julian last night, postponing our flight indefinitely.’

‘Really?’ Alison wondered if she imagined that her usually immovable uncle looked disturbed. ‘Do you mean you’ll be living here in London?’

‘I suppose so.’

He was silent for a moment, and then said, ‘Well, personally, I’m glad you’re not going to the other side of the world. How do you feel about it yourselves?’

‘I’m afraid Julian is very disappointed,’ she said carefully.

‘And you?’

‘Oh, I-she drew a quick breath-’I don’t really care where I am, so long as Julian is there too.’

‘Ah!’ Her uncle gave a satisfied laugh.

She thought he was going to say something too, but just then the car drew up outside the church, and there was no opportunity.

Organ music was coming from just beyond that doorway, and the indescribable rustle of people moving and whispering.

She took her uncle’s arm and moved slowly forward. Nobody seemed specially distinct-just a vague blur of faces on either side-people who had meant nothing at all in her life, and would mean nothing again. They were just there for her wedding-she didn’t quite know why, except that Aunt Lydia had somehow conjured them there.

Why, there was Jennifer, smiling slightly and looking a miracle of style and smartness. Simon would be with Julian, but she wouldn’t look there yet.

There was Aunt Lydia, right in front, turning her head as far as decorum permitted, to see that her stage-managing had not failed in any particular, while Theo gazed openly- but mostly at Audrey.

And then they all faded away into absolute nothingness, because Rosalie’s blue eyes were staring at her across the width of the aisle-cold, unfriendly, frighteningly bleak in her lovely young face.

Alison gasped faintly, as though someone had struck her, and her eyes dropped before the dislike in Rosalie’s.

Uncle Theodore had stopped. She couldn’t imagine why for a moment, and then, glancing up, she saw. Julian was standing the other side of her, smiling reassuringly down at her.

‘Oh, Julian,’ she said very quietly, and she forgot all about Rosalie.

She used to wonder afterwards whether every girl was just as vague about her own wedding.

It didn’t seem like her own voice saying, ‘I, Alison, take thee, Julian-’

She wondered if he felt equally strange, saying, ‘I, Julian, take thee, Alison-’

Perhaps he felt even stranger because, of course, he didn’t want to take her at all.

But she wouldn’t think of that now. Nor of Rosalie, standing somewhere there behind her, wishing her ill.

It was over at last, and she was with him in the vestry, signing ‘Alison Earlston’ for the last time. And then she was going along the aisle once more, past those rows of indistinguishable people.

But this time it was on Julian’s arm that her hand rested.

Rosalie had not come into the vestry, and Alison didn’t look in her direction now. She didn’t want anything to spoil this wonderful moment. She had forgotten her aunt’s warning, but in any case, she had no need of it to make her raise her head.

The most extraordinary pride and happiness flooded warmly over her. She was Julian’s wife. And for one little, little moment, that was enough.

In the car, Julian turned to her with a laugh.

‘Well, I’m glad that’s over.’

Alison smiled.

‘Were you nervous too?’

‘Petrified,’ Julian assured her, looking exceptionally calm. And at that they laughed together.

‘You look marvellously pretty, Alison.’

His admiration was undoubted, but there was not a single touch of sentiment about it. Nor did he sound in the least possessive. He might have been paying a compliment to any young friend or relation.

She wondered if he had noticed how lovely Rosalie looked, and, if so, how it had affected him. He couldn’t have seen her since that terrible evening when she had thrown him over-until he saw her in church to-day. It must have hurt, however much he had braced himself to meet the moment.

‘Do you like your ring?’ He took her hand and looked at the slender ring with its curiously cut facets.

‘Yes, very much, thank you, Julian.’ It was like thanking him for a casual Christmas present, she thought.

‘I’m glad you chose gold,’ he told her. ‘It’s so much warmer than platinum.’

‘Well. I know it’s old-fashioned of me, but I’ve always vaguely felt that I shouldn’t feel really married with anything but a gold ring,’ she confessed.

He looked at her hand for a moment in silence.

‘So that makes you feel really married, does it?’ he said with a slight smile. But she noticed that the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

She wished she hadn’t said anything so silly and thoughtless then, but it was too late to do anything about it, for they had arrived back at the house.

The next half-hour was crowded with hand-shaking and introductions, with little speeches of welcome and little speeches of thanks. She noticed once or twice how easily and gracefully Simon was carrying off his duties as best man, and she thought, ‘No wonder he is a social success.’

Even Aunt Lydia smiled at him with genuine cordiality, and if Uncle Theodore did think him ‘a bit of an adventurer,’ as he had declared, Simon seemed to please him and charm him just then.

Presently he came up to where she and Julian were standing.

‘You seem to be entering into your role very heartily,’ Julian remarked.

Simon bowed to Alison with a rather wicked smile.

‘I want to feel I am a really deserving case when I claim my privilege as best man.’

‘I see.’ Julian looked amused.

‘Have I your permission?’

‘Mine? You’d better ask Alison, hadn’t you?’ Julian said with a little laugh. ‘She is the one concerned.’

‘Oh, I shan’t ask Alison,’ Simon declared. ‘Always kiss a woman first and ask her afterwards. It’s an excellent rule.’

And, putting his arm lightly round Alison, he kissed her full on her mouth.

It was all very easily and laughingly done, but, as Simon’s lips touched hers, Alison was conscious of the most extraordinary sensation. She didn’t want to be kissed like that. Not by any man-except perhaps Julian. Simon’s laughing remarks might not say much, but Simon’s mouth said a good deal more.

There was something about the whole incident which she resented fiercely-but, most of all, because, in the mirror of Simon’s manner, she saw quite clearly how utterly unemotional and impersonal any caress of Julian’s had always been.

Besides, it came to her with an angry pain that Julian had never actually kissed her at all. And that Simon- Simon-should do it first was hateful!

She turned away, oddly disturbed, and she was still feeling shaken when her aunt came over to tell her it was time for her to slip away and change.

‘And why ever didn’t you tell me about your not going to Buenos Aires after all?’ Aunt Lydia wanted to know. ‘You are an extraordinary girl, Alison.’

‘I did try to tell you this morning,’ said Alison, ‘but you didn’t have time to stay and hear.’

‘But why hadn’t you told us all last night? You knew then, didn’t you?’

‘Yes.’ Alison hesitated. It was so difficult for her to explain. ‘There didn’t seem to be an opportunity,’ she said lamely at last.

‘Really, Alison, I don’t understand you at all. Unless-’ Aunt Lydia stopped, and looked at her niece in a peculiar, not very friendly fashion. ‘Well, perhaps I do. You had better run along and get dressed now.’ And, without another word, she moved off, leaving Alison feeling extraordinarily uncomfortable.

It didn’t take long, with Prentiss’s help, to change from her wedding-dress into the little pink suit, with the wonderful mink coat over it.

When she came downstairs, Julian, too, was ready. The suitcases were outside in the grey Daimler, and Audrey was hopping about, first on one foot and then on the other, a bag of confetti very partially concealed in the hand she was holding behind her.

‘You needn’t be so secretive about that filthy stuff,’ Julian told her. ‘But if you chuck all that at us I’ll run you down with the car.’

‘It’s really only because I’m so pleased,’ Audrey said ingenuously.

‘Pleased? Whose wedding is this-yours of mine?’

‘Yours, of course. But I’m so glad it’s Alison’s too.’

‘Oh, I see.’

Just for a second, Alison saw him glance across to where Rosalie was standing a little aloof from all this. And, as he did so, the light seemed to go out of his face, and she could see a little pulse beating agitatedly in his cheek.

She turned away to say good-bye to her aunt, her heart heavy with apprehension and a strange pity for him, which seemed to blot out her own personal feelings.

Aunt Lydia indulged in a slightly emotional good-bye for the sake of appearances, but Alison knew how much more meaning there was to her uncle’s quiet, ‘Good-bye, child. I hope you will be very happy.’

Then, after a moment’s hesitation, she went over to where Rosalie was standing.

‘Good-bye, Rosalie,’ she said, and, although it cost her an effort, she held out her hand.

But her cousin took no notice of it. She looked steadily back at Alison, her eyes like cold blue stones.

‘You were careful I shouldn’t know about Julian’s staying in England until you had him nice and secure, weren’t you?’ she said in a low, contemptuous voice.

‘Rosalie, that isn’t true.’ Alison, too, kept her voice low, and stood so that Rosalie was hidden from the rest of the people. ‘I never thought of such a thing. You know I didn’t’

‘You needn’t play innocent on top of it all.’ Rosalie twisted her own engagement ring on her finger with a nervous anger which suddenly showed Alison with deadly clearness that it was of no real importance to her. ‘You always meant to get Julian. Well, I suppose, in a way, you have got him now. But he isn’t really yours in any sense that matters. And you know it as well as I do.’

‘Please Rosalie-’ Alison began. But her cousin cut across her words with furious scorn.

‘Oh, don’t bother to say any more. Why don’t you do the same as Julian? He has more sense than to try to come and speak to me.’ She gave a slight laugh, and then added slowly: ‘Unless, of course, it is that he knows he can’t trust himself near me.’

There wasn’t any answer to make to such a speech, and, trembling all over, Alison went back to Julian.

She scarcely took any note of the other good-byes, except for the welcome warmth of Audrey’s kiss.

And even when the car moved clear of the farewell group, and Julian and she were alone together, she could find nothing to say. She leaned back in her seat beside him, pale and with her eyes closed, and for a while he drove in silence.

At last he said: ‘What is it, Alison? Are you very tired?’

‘A little yes,’ she said quickly. And then: ‘Do you mind if I don’t talk at all for a bit?’

‘Not in the least, my child.’ He spoke very quietly and calmingly, ‘I imagine this isn’t exactly an easy day for you.’

‘It can’t be easy for you either, darling,’ she thought impulsively. ‘But you do it all so much better than I.’

They were clear of London and heading for the open country before he spoke again. And then his tone was still blessedly cool and matter-of-fact.

‘I don’t know how much you’ve had to eat to-day, but it probably isn’t any more than I have. Suppose we stop and have a very late lunch somewhere.’

Alison agreed, and, ten minutes later, over a good meal in a country inn, she began to feel better. Even now, it made her feel faintly sick to think of what Rosalie had said, but she must try not to remember her cold, angry face, and her bitter words.

It was terrible to have someone hate you like that. Terrible-and so bewilderingly unfair.

Alison glanced across timidly at Julian and thought:

‘It’s not even as though I had taken him away from her. I could understand her anger if I had done that; But I tried so hard not to do anything unfair so long as he was hers. It was only afterwards-’

But then, of course, what Rosalie had probably wanted was to be able to whistle him back again, chastened and humiliated, if she happened to want him. She had never really meant him to go out of her reach so finally.

And, in that case, would he have come back? Alison wondered. Reluctant and resisting, no doubt, but fascinated into submission.

‘Well, I’m glad I saved him from that, at any rate,’ she told herself grimly. ‘She’s done some awful things to his self-respect, but she hasn’t been able to do that.’ And she gave a sigh, half-triumphant, half-afraid.

‘Eat up your lunch, child, and think out the problems afterwards,’ Julian’s voice said quietly at that moment, and she looked up quickly to find him watching her with a kindly, worried air.

‘I’m sorry.’ She laughed a little, and deliberately cleared the expression of care from her face.

‘That’s better.’ His own expression lightened too at that, and after a moment or two she began to talk to him quite naturally and almost gaily.

By the time they came out again to the car the late afternoon light was beginning to fade. Sudden grey clouds were rolling up from the west, and a strong wind was rising. Even as they moved off, the first big drops of rain came splashing against the windscreen.

‘There’s going to be a heavy storm,’ Julian remarked. ‘You’re not nervous driving in a storm, I suppose?’

‘Not if you’re driving,’ Alison said. Whereat he laughed.

‘You’re very soothing to a man’s vanity, Alison.’

There was something very pleasant about being alone together in the warmth and intimacy of the car, after all the conflicting excitements of the day. And later, when it was quite dark. and the wind was hurling the rain against the windows in great driving gusts, they seemed to be all alone in a safe. cosy little world of their own.

About seven, they passed through a fairly large country town, and Julian asked if she would care to stay there for the night But Alison, more than slightly drowsy by now, had no special wish to face the problems of the outer world just then.

‘I’d rather drive on,’ she said, ‘if you’re not tired.’

‘I’m not tired,’ he assured her with a little smile. ‘But I see you are.’ He reached with one hand for another cushion and put it behind her. ‘You’d better go to sleep for a while.’

‘Oh. no,’ Alison said. But two minutes later it seemed too much trouble to open her eyes again.

When she woke up it was pitch dark outside, with the blackness of the completely open country. She glanced at the little car clock and gave an exclamation.

‘Is it really as late as that, Julian? Quarter-past ten?’

‘Hello. Awake again?’ He smiled at her. ‘Yes, that’s the time.’

‘But hadn’t we better stop somewhere? You must be dead tired, driving all this time.’

‘We will stop, my dear, when we can find somewhere.’ Julian laughed ruefully. ‘To tell you the truth, I don’t know where the deuce we are.’

‘Oh, I see. Well, we’re sure to come on something or somewhere soon,’ Alison said equably.

He cocked a quizzical look at her.

‘How refreshingly philosophical of you. You’re quite at liberty to call me a fool for losing the way, if you like.’

But Alison smiled and shook her head.

‘It can happen to anyone. Especially on a night like this,’ she added, as a tremendous gust of wind and rain seemed to hit the car broadside on.

‘Well, that’s a very charitable point of view. But I certainly think we had better make do with almost any sort of place we can find. Petrol’s getting low and-Aren’t those some lights ahead there on the left?’

Alison peered through the rain-streaked window.

‘Yes.’

‘Good.’

Three minutes later they were running up the one street of a dreary little hamlet. It consisted of about a dozen houses, one shop, and a tiny inn.

‘This looks like our quarters for to-night.’ Julian drew up and looked distastefully at the place. ‘What do you think of it? Shall we drive on and chance hitting something better?’

‘No, I think we’d better try this,’ said Alison. And, climbing stiffly out of the car, they both went in.

A woman came forward, with a surprised and not specially friendly air; and Julian explained that they wanted quarters for the night.

She didn’t seem enthusiastic, and, glancing at Alison’s coat, she said, ‘I don’t know that I’ve got anything that’d suit you. I’ve only one room anyway.’ Then, suddenly fixing her eyes gloomily on the few tell-tale pieces of confetti that had shaken from Alison’s coat, she added, ‘Though perhaps that don’t matter.’

The laborious train of thought was so obvious that Alison had a hysterical, though hastily suppressed, desire to laugh. Perhaps Julian had too, because he bit his lip sharply, and then said, ‘Well, how far are we from a town?’

The woman didn’t seem very good at guessing distances. She murmured something about ‘eight or ten miles, or perhaps twelve.’ And then added, ‘But that’s by the straight road, and that’s flooded. You’d have to go round.’

‘Is there anywhere in the village where I can get petrol?’ Julian asked patiently.

‘Only here, and we’re run out,’ said the woman dispiritedly.

‘I think we’ll have to stay here, Julian,’ Alison said quietly.

‘Do you mind very much?’ He looked troubled.

Alison smiled reassuringly. ‘No. We’ll manage.’

He didn’t say anything, but he gave her an odd glance as he went out to fetch the cases and put away the car. Perhaps, of course, he was wondering how Rosalie would have reacted in similar circumstances.

‘You just been married to-day?’ the woman asked Alison as she led her up the stairs.

‘Y-yes,’ Alison admitted.

‘Ah!’ There was a wealth of meaning in the word, but, as Alison couldn’t decide what meaning, it didn’t help much. ‘I’ve buried three,’ was the startling addition to that.

Alison didn’t know quite what she was expected to make of this cheerful opening, so she just said politely-and rather fatuously, she felt-’Have you really?’

The woman nodded, and led the way into a fairly large, chilly room. But at least it looked clean, and the white ‘honeycomb’ quilts on the two iron bedsteads were spotless.

She seemed pleased when Alison declared it would do very well; and a moment later Julian came in with a couple of suitcases.

‘If you come down right away, you can have a hot supper,’ the woman remarked, and withdrew.

‘What-a cheerful-spot,’ observed Julian, setting down the cases and studying a steel engraving entitled ‘The Young Martyr,’ wherein a very pretty girl appeared to be thoroughly enjoying being drowned slowly.

‘Well, it’s clean-’ Alison began.

‘Alison, you’re an angel,’ he interrupted her. ‘Any other girl would raise hell at starting her honeymoon like this. Now come on and let’s see about this hot supper, or else I shall be making you emotional speeches of thanks, like a popular actor on a last night.’

Alison laughed a good deal, and came down with him to the really excellent meal which had been set for them by a good fire.

She supposed she ought to be feeling thoroughly embarrassed and nervous, but she felt neither. And, when supper was over, she said quite naturally. ‘I think I’ll go up right away. We’d better both get to bed soon if we want to start again fairly early to-morrow.’

This time it was he who didn’t do it quite so well. He nodded with elaborate casualness, however, and said, ‘All right. I shan’t be long.’

Upstairs in the cold bedroom again, Alison undressed rapidly, washing sketchily in the icy water supplied, and climbed into one of the unexpectedly comfortable beds.

When Julian came up half an hour later, she didn’t answer his knock. It would probably be less embarrassing for both of them if she pretended to be asleep.

He seemed to think so too, because she heard him moving about with exaggerated care so as not to wake her.

‘Poor darling!’ she thought. ‘Perhaps it’s even worse for him than for me.’

Or was it? Could anything really be worse than sharing a room with the man you loved, and having him behave like a courteous stranger?

She tried to remember one or two little incidents which had happened that day. The time he had spoken of himself quite naturally as her husband. The time he had called her ‘an angel’. She tried to gather courage from them-but it was hard.

She lay there for a long time, dozing fitfully. Then suddenly she woke to full consciousness. The storm had completely passed, and a clear, rain-washed moon was riding high in the sky and pouring its cold fight into the room.

Turning on her side, she could see Julian quite clearly. He was asleep, his dark hair inclined to fall forward over his forehead. But he evidently slept uneasily, and he had tossed off half the bed-clothes.

‘He’ll catch cold,’ Alison thought, with a sort of possessive tenderness that was very sweet, and she slipped quietly out of bed.

Very carefully and gently she put the clothes round him again. He sighed impatiently, but he didn’t move, and she thought how weary and unrested he looked.

She longed suddenly to kiss him. It didn’t seem very fair to do it without his knowing. But he had said she could yesterday-before Simon had interrupted.

She bent quickly and kissed him.

He did move then.

‘Rosalie,’ he said, half questioningly. Then he turned his cheek against the pillow like a contented child, and she saw that the look of strain had gone.

Alison stood there motionless for a long time, until she became aware of the iciness of the floor against her bare feet.

She crept back to bed, and lay for a while watching the moonlight slowly travelling over Julian. Then presently she pulled the bed-clothes over her head, so that he shouldn’t hear her crying.

CHAPTER VII

WHEN Alison woke next morning, Julian was evidently already up and dressed, for she was alone.

She looked round a little bewilderedly, slowly taking in the scene once more: the cold sunlight showing up the threads in the worn carpet, the picture of the cheerful young martyr smiling with the same fixed air of enjoyment, the brand-new suitcase labelled ‘Mrs. J. Tyndrum’, the unfamiliar masculine things on the narrow dressing-table, the tumbled bed where her husband had slept last night and dreamt of another girl.

Alison bit her lip. They were all like things in a stage drama. And she herself, she supposed, was the heroine of the drama.

She didn’t feel much like a heroine. Heroines were supposed to be courageous, and she didn’t feel courageous a bit. All she wanted to do was to press her face into the pillow and forget that the problem of living existed.

But one couldn’t get out of it that way, of course, and presently she got up and dressed and went downstairs.

‘Your husband’s out at the back there, talking to my boy Sam,’ the woman told her. ‘Did you sleep well?’

‘Yes, thank you,’ Alison said, not very thoughtfully, and she went out through the open doorway into the big yard. She wondered if she would ever get quite used to hearing Julian called ‘your husband.’

He was standing talking to a countrified young man who, presumably, was ‘Sam’. Julian was laughing a little at something that was being said, and Alison thought wistfully that he was really terribly handsome like that, with his head thrown back and those curiously light grey eyes of his narrowed against the sunlight.

Then he saw her, and immediately he held out his hand, with a smile which made her feel less isolated.

Alison came to his side, and he introduced her to Sam, who touched his cap.

‘Honeymoonin’, aren’t you?’ he said with an indulgent grin.

‘Yes, we are-honeymooning,’ agreed Julian calmly, and -perhaps as supporting evidence-he transferred his arm to Alison’s waist and drew her a little against him.

It made her feel happy and hurt all at once, and she remained perfectly silent while Sam and Julian talked a few minutes longer about farming in general.

‘If you like to go and have a look round, sir, you’re very welcome,’ Sam said. ‘I can’t come myself just now, but you go through that gate there. Breakfast’ll not be ready for. another ten minutes, I dare say.’

Julian thanked him and turned away with his arm still round Alison.

‘I think Sam’s nice,’ remarked Alison as they came out at the side of a field which stretched away in rain-soaked greenness to a row of bare trees, standing like skeletons against the November sky.

Julian looked amused. ‘Is that his name? How do you know?’

‘His mother told me.’

‘Oh. Yes, he seems a very good sort.’

Presently he said, ‘You’re not catching cold in this thin thing, are you?’ And he gently felt the sleeve of her suit.

"Oh, no.’ It was nice to have him concerned about her. ‘Did you sleep well, Julian?’ That came out a little shyly.

‘Extraordinarily well, thank you.’ He spoke rather as though the fact surprised him. ‘And you?’

‘Yes, thank you,’ Alison said quickly, not liking to think of how she had lain awake, and what had happened.

‘I thought so. You were already asleep when I came up, weren’t you?’

She didn’t say anything for a moment, and he said again, ‘Weren’t you?’

‘N-not quite.’

‘Not?’ He stopped, and turned her gently towards him. Alison blushed then, and at that he laughed softly.

‘Little Alison, I think you are the kindest and most tactful person I know.’ And he bent his head and kissed her with extraordinary sweetness.

‘Julian!’ It was so entirely unexpected that she couldn’t even kiss him back again, and, to her dismay, she felt the tears come into her eyes.

‘Why, my dear, what is it?’ he was slightly amused still, she knew, but there was a sort of half-startled tenderness too.

‘Nothing,’ she managed to get out.

‘But there is something. What is it? Don’t you like me to kiss you?’

‘Oh, yes. It’s only-’ Her voice dropped suddenly to a whisper. ‘It-it’s the first time you’ve ever done it, and- and-’ Her voice quivered into silence.

He remained perfectly still while she was speaking. Then he quietly finished her sentence for her.

‘-and with you it’s an actual need to have someone kind and affectionate, even if it’s only your official husband. Is that it?’

‘S-something like that,’ stammered Alison, tightening her hand nervously on his.

The next moment she was drawn right into his arms, and he was kissing her, first on her cheeks and then on her mouth.

‘Oh, Julian,’ she said again, and she gave him a long, sweet kiss in answer.

‘Does the bruise hurt less now?’ he asked softly.

‘Yes, thank you,’ whispered Alison very shyly.

He didn’t say any more after that, and presently they went back to the house for breakfast.

Alison enjoyed her breakfast. She enjoyed everything to do with this cold, bright November morning. It was a strange world, an exciting world-almost a beautiful world, even if she were on her honeymoon with a man who wanted another girl.

After breakfast, it seemed that fresh supplies of petrol had arrived, and they were free to go on their way.

‘I’m quite sorry to leave here,’ Alison said as she watched Julian put their cases into the car once more. She felt absurdly that no place would ever be so dear or exciting again.

Julian smiled and said, ‘Yes. It hasn’t been bad, after all.’ But he didn’t, of course, suggest anything so silly as their staying.

They drove nearly all day, and at night they stopped at one of the big luxury resorts on the Devonshire coast.

Julian seemed very anxious that she should have everything possible to make up for the spartan-like simplicity of the first day of their honeymoon; and, without consulting her, he engaged a spacious luxury suite at the best hotel.

Alison made no comment about it, but as she lay awake in her big, well-sprung bed that night, she thought wistfully of the cold, bare room she had shared with him the night before. And she thought she would willingly have exchanged the luxury here for the quiet, even sound of Julian’s breathing-even if he were dreaming of Rosalie.

‘I put through a call to Simon last night,’ Julian told her at breakfast next morning. ‘He sent you his love.’

‘Did he?’ Alison knew it was all quite lightly meant, and that Julian himself attached no significance to it, but, for some reason, it displeased her.

‘He had heard from Buenos Aires.’ Julian spoke without much expression.

‘Oh, yes?’ Her own small annoyance was forgotten in concern for him.

‘There doesn’t seem to be any chance of our going out there, Alison,’ he said with rather elaborate indifference.

‘Oh, Julian, I’m so sorry.’

‘Never mind.’ He set his mouth. ‘It’s no good kicking against the inevitable.’ But she saw that his eyes looked tired, and she guessed he had lain awake last night, thinking -of what?

Of Rosalie, she supposed. Waking or sleeping, he thought of Rosalie. And now they were to live in the same place, to meet her everywhere.

Alison felt suddenly that it wasn’t much good fighting any more. Fate or chance, or whatever it was, had her beaten.

They didn’t stay long in any one place, usually arriving late in the evening and leaving in good time the next morning. And everywhere Julian was the perfection of kindness and courtesy to her.

But it was the same kindness and courtesy he might have used towards his mother or a younger sister-anyone, in fact, for whom he felt a dutiful responsibility. There was none of the tender, passionate attention, the eager interest, that a man would give to the woman he loved.

On the last day of their short holiday he said to her:

‘We shall have to start house-hunting as soon as we get back, Alison. I’m afraid my bachelor flat will be very cramped quarters for us, but perhaps we can manage for a week or two. You can have my room, of course.’

‘Thank you,’ Alison said, but, as a matter of fact, she was bitterly hurt at his way of putting it.

Julian’s flat was small, but unexpectedly charming and luxurious. It was a service flat, so that there was nothing whatever for Alison to do. And, as she watched him on the first evening, immersed in his accumulation of correspondence, she had the odd feeling again that she had no place at all in his life. He seemed absolutely detached. The picture was complete without her.

She drew a quiet sigh, and then, after a moment longer, she plucked up courage to break the silence.

‘Julian.’

‘Um?’

‘We won’t have a service flat for our actual home, will we?’

‘No? Why not?’ He still spoke absently, his attention half on his correspondence.

‘Well, there’s nothing for me to do.’

He looked up then, rather amused.

‘What’s the matter? Do you feel it your duty to turn yourself into a domestic slave?’

‘No. Only-I want to do some things.’

‘What things?’ he said obtusely.

‘Things for-for you.’ Her voice quivered.

‘Alison-’ He got up suddenly and came over and picked her right up in his arms. ‘What absurd, sweet things you say to me. I never met anyone before who wanted to "do things" for me.’

‘Didn’t you?’ she whispered, and for a moment she felt she had a place in his life.

He carried her back to where he had been sitting and drew her down on to his knee.

‘You can open some of my letters for me, if you like.’

It was ridiculous, of course, and made her feel more like a child than ever, but somehow it was very sweet, too.

‘He’ll give me a blue pencil to play with in a minute,’ she thought.

And then she felt him put his cheek down against the top of her head, and she didn’t much care what he did after that.

‘Here’s an invitation from the Fortescues to go to a dance of theirs next Thursday,’ she said presently. ‘Do you want to go?’

‘Not much.’

‘No? It’s evidently going to be a big affair. I should dunk it might be rather nice.’

‘Might it?’

She looked up. ‘Why don’t you want to go, Julian?’

‘Don’t you know?’ He was smiling faintly, but he continued to stare absently at the letter in his hand.

And then she remembered. The Fortescues were great friends of Rosalie’s. She was bound to be there.

‘I’m sorry,’ Alison whispered, and reached up to kiss his cheek softly.

He turned his head then and gave her a quick, hard kiss on her mouth.

He didn’t say a word, but she had the exquisite conviction that, in some queer way, they were fighting danger together.

The next afternoon, when Julian was at his office, she went to see Aunt Lydia. Not that she was specially anxious to see her aunt, or, indeed, to go anywhere near the house at all, since the twins would be back at school and her uncle most certainly away or at his office. But Aunt Lydia was bound to expect a visit soon, so she might as well get it over. And perhaps, if she herself went fairly often, it would give Julian a chance to stay away without much comment.

‘Dear me, Alison, you’re looking rather pale. I don’t know that mink is quite the right colour for you,’ was Aunt Lydia ’s characteristic greeting.

‘I don’t feel pale,’ Alison assured her, more amused than annoyed.

‘Did you have a good time?’

‘Yes, thank you. Very good.’

‘And now you’re going to settle down in London, instead of going to South America? It’s really rather unfortunate.’

Alison forbore to ask why.

‘What are you going to have-a house or a flat?’ was her aunt’s next question.

‘A flat, I think. We’re going to look at some places to-morrow.’

‘Well, I suppose you know your own mind best, but I must say I always think in a flat you’re so much on top of each other. There’s no chance of getting away.’

Alison didn’t know quite what to say in answer to this novel idea of married life. She supposed her aunt would have been surprised if she had firmly stated that she had no special wish to ‘get away’ from Julian.

‘Where are you now? In an hotel, I suppose?’

‘No. In Julian’s old flat.’

‘But that’s only a tiny place, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, but it’s very nice.’ For some reason or other, Alison felt angrily on the defensive.

‘I thought there wasn’t much more than a bedroom and a sitting-room.’

‘There isn’t.’

‘How very extraordinary,’ said Aunt Lydia, and stared at her niece with hard, uncompromising violet eyes. ‘Well, I suppose most men are the same when it comes to the point. Almost any girl will do.’

To her extreme annoyance, Alison felt herself go hot all over. For a wild moment she wanted to accuse Aunt Lydia to her face of being a coarse-minded cynic. But, of course, it was quite, quite impossible, and would not, in any case, have been the least good to anybody if she had.

Instead, she asked in a slightly breathless voice how her uncle was.

‘Quite all right, I think. Very busy, I suppose, since I see scarcely anything of him.’

‘And the twins?’

‘They’re back at school, of course.’

Evidently they passed from Aunt Lydia ’s notice and interest entirely as soon as they were out of sight.

There was a moment’s hesitation, and then, with an effort that made her clench her hands, Alison said, ‘Is-is Rosalie still at home?’

‘Oh, yes. She’s out at the moment-fortunately. She isn’t feeling very pleased with you just now, naturally.’

‘Isn’t that rather unfair?’ Alison said in a low voice.

‘Well, my dear, no girl likes to see the man she wants taken by another girl. Especially when there is a little bit of trickery about it.’

‘Aunt Lydia, I won’t have that!’ The colour flamed up in Alison’s face. ‘There was no trickery whatever about it. You know there wasn’t. It’s wicked and mean to say there was.’

Aunt Lydia remained perfectly cool, and smiled in a way which, Alison knew, meant that some particularly illogical statement of the case was coming.

‘I don’t expect you want to face the fact,’ she said with exasperating tolerance, ‘but no one can deny that you took advantage of an ordinary lovers’-tiff, if you like-to snatch at Julian. We all know it was Rosalie he wanted-’ and, I have no doubt, still does.’

‘No!’ Alison gasped that out quickly.

‘Well, my dear, you can take it from me that the Julian type doesn’t change so quickly. He is the most complete example of the one-woman man that I know, and I can’t say I’ve ever seen him give any indication that you were the one woman.’

Alison was wordless.

‘You have only yourself to thank for things being as they are, Alison,’ her aunt said. And then: ‘I suppose you did the proposing?’ she shot at her niece suddenly.

‘I-I-’

‘Well, I see you did. Mind, speaking impersonally,’ said Aunt Lydia, who was incapable of doing so, ‘I don’t exactly blame you. Nobody was likely to ask you, and you had a priceless opportunity of catching an excellent match on the rebound. Only you mustn’t expect Rosalie to feel affectionate about it.’

‘It wasn’t like that-oh, it wasn’t!’ Alison cried desperately, ‘You seem to forget that Rosalie had jilted him. Why shouldn’t he marry me instead?’

‘Because, my dear, he didn’t care a brass farthing about you,’ her aunt said calmly. ‘You know and I know that, given a few days, the whole thing would have blown over.’

‘That isn’t true.’ Alison was white, and she had to press her hand against her throat to keep back thee sobs. ‘Rosalie never loved him. She never wanted to go to Buenos Aires with him.’

‘That was the obstacle, I admit,’ Aunt Lydia said. ‘But it was the only obstacle. And the proof that you appreciated that as well as anyone lies in the fact that you took such precautions to keep quiet about the change of plans until it was too late to do anything.’

‘I didn’t, I didn’t!’ Alison was crying wildly by now. ‘I never thought about it at all. Besides, why should I stand aside for Rosalie at the last minute like that?’

‘Because it isn’t you Julian wants. It’s Rosalie,’ repeated Aunt Lydia drily.

‘No, no, no!’ Alison knew she had been driven from her defences by unfair and illogical arguments, and yet there seemed nothing left now but the futile, reiterated denial that he loved Rosalie.

‘Well, I don’t know that making a scene is going to help anyone now,’ Aunt Lydia remarked with admirable coolness. ‘You had better stop crying, Alison. I think I heard someone come in a moment ago, and it’s probably Rosalie.’

‘Oh, how awful,’ gasped Alison, at this final humiliation. With a tremendous effort, she choked back her sobs, and went over to the window, where she stood staring out and trying hastily to dry her eyes.

She heard the door open, and then Rosalie’s surprised, not very pleased, ‘Hello, Alison.’

There was nothing else for it. She turned to face her cousin.

‘Why, you’ve been crying,’ Rosalie said with uncharitable frankness.

Alison said nothing. There was nothing to say.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘I think Alison is a little sorry about some things,’ Aunt Lydia said mildly.

‘I’m not!’ her niece exclaimed furiously.

‘Well then, shall we say-a little disappointed about some things?’ her aunt amended obligingly.

Rosalie gave an unpleasant little laugh.

‘Why? Didn’t the honeymoon come up to expectations?’ she said spitefully. ‘How extraordinary. I’ve always found that Julian makes love charmingly.’

Alison thought suddenly that she would choke if she-stayed a moment longer. She knew it was unpardonable, ridiculous, to say nothing at all. There must be a way of finishing this scene with some semblance of decency, some way of tucking in the ragged ends. But she couldn’t think of any.

She picked up her gloves without a word. She didn’t even speak to her aunt, and blindly she almost pushed past Rosalie and out of the room It was all just like some nightmare. There was no more shape or meaning to the scene than that.

And then she was out in the street once more, the cold air on her face-and the tears too, so that she was ashamed to go where people might see her, and wandered instead among the quiet squares, not knowing at all where she was going.

Then, when it was beginning to grow dark, she went home. She was quite calm by then-only a little pale and sad-eyed. She must never tell Julian a word about that terrible scene with Aunt Lydia and Rosalie. She could scarcely even bear to think of it herself. It was the kind of scene one must just try to forget.

Only, of course, one never did forget anything like that.

In the end, Julian and she did very little actual househunting; It seemed that Julian was friendly with a famous interior decorator, who knew ‘just the place’ for them. He also appeared to know exactly how Alison should wish to have her home.

Not that anyone tried to overrule her, or to ignore her wishes, but as Alison watched the beautiful luxury flat taking shape in the hands of experts, she felt that this would never be her home to her.

They knew so much better than she did what was best and right, and she couldn’t pretend that the result was anything but beautiful Only, sometimes she caught herself wondering guiltily if it was perhaps more exciting and real when you couldn’t afford to pay experts, but just had to muddle and contrive on your own. At least it was your own place then-with all its endearing faults and virtues.

It would have mattered so much, of course if Julian and she had been an ordinary young couple in love. But what was the good of pretending that colour-schemes and furniture were of mutual, romantic interest to them when their marriage was only ‘a business arrangement’?

Julian never emphasised the situation, but his kindly, detached, ‘you-have-everything-as-you-like-it’ attitude inevitably made Alison feel that, to him, their flat would merely be a place in which one lived, because one had to live somewhere.

So long as it was convenient, comfortable, and moderately attractive, it had no further significance for him.

And why should it? Alison, who was inexorably honest with herself, faced the fact squarely. There was no single reason in the world why he should be expected to feel anything else.

He took her out in the evenings a good deal-to theatres, to dinners, to concerts. But they always went by themselves or else in a small party which included only his personal friends, such as Simon and Jennifer. Evidently it was his intention to keep entirely aloof from Rosalie and whatever danger she might represent.

Then one evening he took her to a big dance, a semi-public affair, given at one of the principal hotels. Alison had been looking forward to it all the week, for she loved dancing, and, as this was being given in connection with Julian’s office, there was no likelihood whatever of Rosalie’s being there.

She wore one of her loveliest trousseau frocks-a leaf-green affair cut on Grecian lines, which made her look almost tall; and with it went little silver sandals, cut away to show the extremely pretty arch of her foot.

Even without Julian’s approving smile, she knew she was looking her best, and insensibly her spirits rose again, as they had not since that terrible afternoon at her aunt’s house.

As she came into the ballroom with Julian, she felt a happy little flutter of excitement. They would probably have most of the evening together, because there wouldn’t be very many people there whom they knew specially well, Simon and Jennifer, most probably-but they didn’t matter.

There was Simon now, dancing. And with him-Alison’s heart gave a nasty jar, as she caught a second’s glimpse of his partner before they were lost in the crowd again.

It couldn’t be! It couldn’t possibly- The people parted once more, and she saw that it was. The. totally unexpected had happened: Rosalie was here.

Alison glanced round for some sign of Aunt Lydia or of Rosalie’s fiancé. She could not see either. There was no explanation of Rosalie’s presence. She was just there, like some figure in a bad dream.

And then, from the sudden rigidity of Julian’s arm, she knew that he too had seen her.

It was all to begin again, then, this miserable, futile struggle. Just for a moment Alison felt it wasn’t any good- she couldn’t do it.

But of course she had to. She must stand by Julian, even if, in a sense, he scarcely wanted her to do so.

After a while she glanced up timidly at him, and, at the grim, hurt set of his mouth, her heart quailed.

‘Julian,’ she said quietly, ‘would you rather we went home?’

‘No, of course not.’ His voice was curt and almost harsh, ‘Don’t be so ridiculous.’

It was the first time he had spoken really unkindly to her, and Alison felt her throat contract. She hadn’t meant to intrude on his most private thoughts, but his withdrawn, resentful air suggested that she had.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said in a low voice. But at that he gave an impatient little exclamation, which seemed to suggest that she couldn’t let well alone and, suddenly very frightened, she relapsed into silence.

A moment later, Simon saw them, and, at the end of the dance, he came over, smiling and imperturbable as ever, to greet them. Rosalie, of course, came with him, to give a cool nod of recognition at her cousin, and a smile of unusual sweetness and gentleness at Julian.

Alison watched her helplessly, feeling dull and childish and unattractive, as she almost always did in Rosalie’s presence.

‘Dare I assume that Julian will spare you for a little while to come and dance with me?’ Simon asked her. He seemed quite unaware of any tension, and it didn’t appear to dawn on him that this move would inevitably leave Julian and Rosalie together.

She went with him. There was nothing else to do, though really she felt as though she were being pulled in two, for her heart went with Julian as, politely and calmly, he drew Rosalie on to the dancing-floor.

At random she answered Simon’s lazy, amusing comments. And afterwards, when he wanted to take her to have champagne, she tried to make an excuse to get away. But it wasn’t easy. He overruled her with careless firmness, and took her to one of the small completely secluded alcoves, where he left her for a moment while he went to fetch their drinks.

Alison buried her face in her hands. Not that she was anywhere near tears. It was just that she felt so frighteningly helpless and inexperienced. The situation was completely out of hand.

In her last glance round the room before she had come here with Simon, she had been unable to see any sign of Julian and Rosalie. Was he being forced into a tête-à-tête, too-something far more difficult and dangerous than anything she need expect with Simon?

She dropped her hands quickly as she heard Simon’s step, and when he came in she was looking quite composed once more.

He handed her her glass, and sat down at the other end of the settee, almost facing her. For a moment he looked at her over his glass with those strange dark eyes of his that gave away no secrets.

‘To your-eventual happiness, Alison,’ he said, and drank.

Alison had her lips against the rim of her glass before she realised the full implication of that. A little unsteadily she set it down.

‘Why do you say that, Simon? What makes you think I’m not happy now?’

‘Dear child, how can you be?’ His actual tone was light, but somehow she didn’t think it was a light matter to him.

‘I still don’t know what you mean.’ Alison felt the utmost reluctance to continue the conversation, but she could not refuse to take up that remark.

He shrugged slightly, and again he gave that odd little smile.

‘At the moment you imagine you are in love with a man who wants another woman. It’s not a happy situation for any girl,’ he said.

‘Aren’t you-making-some rather unpardonable remarks?’ Alison spoke a little jerkily, but with a certain youthful dignity.

Simon put down his glass then and, leaning forward, looked at her with deadly seriousness.

‘You needn’t pretend with me, Alison,’ he said slowly. ‘I know Julian, and Rosalie, and-yes, you also-too well for me not to understand the situation.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Alison said in an obstinate whisper, though she knew, of course, that it was ridiculous to go on repeating that.

‘Oh, yes, you do.’ He spoke quite gently and, putting out his hand, he lightly took her by her wrist The touch of his fingers on her arm was almost imperceptible, and yet for some reason she felt vaguely frightened. ‘Even now you can scarcely keep your thoughts on what I’m saying, because you’re wondering frightenedly what she is saying to him.’

Alison gave him a quick, scared look, and then dropped her eyes.

‘You know as well as I do that Rosalie was always an obsession with him,’ Simon went on quietly. ‘She is physically attractive to him in a way no other woman could ever be.’

Alison winced angrily, but could think of nothing to stop him. She could only wonder bewilderedly why Simon should think it necessary to say all this to her.

‘Just to see her is enough to unnerve him,’ he told her. ‘You noticed it, too, to-night.’

‘Oh, why did she have to be here?’ Alison broke in bitterly. ‘I thought we should be safe with people from Julian’s office. I don’t know even now how she could have come.’

‘I brought her.’.

‘You, Simon! But how could you, if you-you understand as much as you say? How could you do anything so cruel?’

‘Perhaps I thought it would be the best thing in the end.’ Simon never took his eyes from her face, and for a moment hers met his in bewilderment.

‘You mean you thought it best that Julian should get used to seeing her as soon as possible?’

Simon smiled and shook his head.

‘Oh, no. I’m afraid my motives were not so unselfish. If I wanted to be trite, Alison dear, I might remind you that all’s fair in love and war.’

‘But’-Alison frowned-’you don’t mean that your sympathies are with Rosalie?’

Simon gave a little shout of laughter.

‘Good God, no! Won’t you understand, you darling little fool? It’s not Rosalie or Julian I’m interested in. Let them make a success of it or a hash of it together. I don’t care. Only let them do whatever they’re going to do quickly, so that you won’t go on eating your heart out for someone who can’t appreciate you.’

‘I think you must be mad.’ Alison tried to get to her feet. But he held her back, and with a sudden, quick movement he had her lying in his arms.

‘Of course I’m mad. Every man’s mad when he’s as much in love as I am. What are Rosalie or Julian or any of them to me? It’s you-you-you. Do you understand now? I’ve never cared a farthing for any woman before, but I wanted you the first time I saw you.’

‘Don’t!’ Alison struggled terrifiedly. It’s you who won’t understand. It’s Julian I love.’

‘Julian!’ Simon’s voice was almost a whisper, but burning with contempt. ‘Julian!-who pats you on the head, treats you like a child, and, I suppose, sleeps on the sofa because there’s only one bedroom in his flat. That’s all the use Julian has for you-while all the time you were made for this.’

And, before she could stop him, his mouth was on hers-not lightly, not laughingly, this time, but with an intensity of passion that left her lips feeling bruised and burning.

CHAPTER VIII

FOR a long moment there was silence, except for the sound of dance-music coming faintly from the ballroom beyond.

Then Simon spoke at last.

‘Well’-his voice sounded slightly defiant-’have you nothing at all to say to me?’

He stared down at her as she lay perfectly still now in his arms, her eyes half closed and her cheeks very pale.

She raised her heavy lashes then.

‘What do you expect me to say, Simon?’

He gave a half-vexed little laugh.

‘Reproaches of some sort, I suppose,’ he admitted. ‘At any rate at first.’

‘Yes. I shouldn’t think it feels specially nice to know you’ve been so brutal and-beastly.’

‘I’m sorry, my darling.’ He spoke eagerly now, and tenderly. Lifting her very gently, he put her back on the settee, piling the cushions behind her and making her comfortable.

‘See-I won’t even touch your hand. I know, I always frighten you a little, don’t I? I forget that you’re so young and gentle and unawakened. But I’ll remember now, Alison. I’ll never frighten you like that again Only I had to make you listen to me. You must listen to me now.’

She made a gesture of protest.

‘Haven’t you said more than enough already?’

‘No. Because I’ve only said the things that frighten and revolt you. I’ve made you think I can’t be anything but passionate and violent, And it isn’t true, Alison dear. There’s tenderness for you too, and warmth and gentleness.’

She saw that he was pale with the intensity of his own feelings, and for a moment she felt almost sorry for him. There was something strangely moving in the sight of such burning, suppressed emotion in anyone who was usually so cool.

‘I’m sorry, Simon,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m really sorry if you feel so deeply about me, but it isn’t the slightest good. No, wait’-as he made a quick movement to interrupt her. ‘You must understand that it’s Julian I love, and you must please remember that I am Julian’s wife. Do you think it’s quite-decent of you to be making violent love to me now, whatever the circumstances?’

‘And do you think I care a damn about the decencies?’ He spoke in a low, rapid voice. ‘I love you, I tell you. I never guessed that anything could be like this-this welter of pain and rapture. I’ve taken everything so lightly before -gambled on every chance and not cared much if I won or lost. But now I can’t do that. I’ve stumbled on something quite different. It matters too much-and it hurts too much -for me to dare to take any chances. I want to be sure of it. For the first time in my life, I want security and reassurance about something. It’s odd, Alison, but for the first time in my life I think I’m afraid.’

‘Poor Simon. I’m so sorry.’ She put out her hand and just touched his arm.

He bent his head quickly at that and kissed her hand, but very gently this time.

‘I wish I hadn’t got to hurt you,’ she said with a sigh. ‘Life seems. to be made up of hurting and being hurt nowadays. But if I love Julian it-it’s no kindness for me to pretend anything else, is it?’

‘There’s such a thing as bowing to the inevitable-and beginning again.’ He sat there with his head a little bent, not quite daring, perhaps, to meet her eyes. ‘I don’t want to recite unwelcome truths again, but it is Rosalie that Julian wants. If you let the-obvious happen between those two, you would end what can’t be anything but pain and humiliation for you. And you would be free-to begin again.’

‘Simon, look at me.’

Alison spoke sharply, and like someone much older than her years. A little reluctantly he raised his eyes and met hers.

‘What you are really suggesting-if you strip off the high-sounding words-is that I should try to force on an affair between Rosalie and Julian, so that I can get rid of him and marry you. Is that it?’

Simon moved restlessly.

‘I don’t care how it’s done,’ he said roughly, ‘so long as you’re mine and not Julian’s.’

‘And I don’t care what sort of a fool you think I am to stay with Julian. I will not have Rosalie ruin his life for him now,’ Alison retorted angrily.

‘Well then, for God’s sake leave Rosalie out of it, and come down to the bare fact that I want you, and Julian doesn’t. Come away with me. I’ll make you love me, make you happy. And in the end Julian will be more relieved than anything else to find himself free again.’

‘I think we’ve said enough on the subject,’ Alison said coldly, and, sick and trembling though she was, she got to her feet with determination. ‘Please don’t suggest any more variations on this-theme of elopements and affaires. They don’t happen to interest me.’

He made an impatient movement.

‘You can’t dismiss it like that. This can’t be your last word about it.’

‘No?’ She turned suddenly and looked him full in the eyes. ‘I’ve nothing else to say to you, Simon, except to repeat your own excellent advice. There is such a thing as bowing to the inevitable. I suggest you apply that to yourself.’

He threw back his head with an angry, defiant laugh.

‘I’ve never even recognised the inevitable yet, much less bowed to it,’ he told her. ‘I’ll wait. I can afford to, though God knows I hate doing it. And one day, quite soon, you’ll find that it is best for all of us-including Julian-that you should listen to me again.’

It was the last sentence which frightened her more than anything that had gone before. For it was Julian’s happiness that she had vowed to herself to protect. And now there was no knowing what sacrifice that promise might involve.

Her heart was very heavy as she turned away to the ballroom once more.

She saw Julian almost as soon as she came in. He was standing talking to an elderly man, and Rosalie was dancing again, with someone Alison did not know.

It touched her and comforted her slightly that Julian noticed her at once, made some excuse, and came over to claim her from Simon.

‘You look pale, Alison,’ he said, the moment they were alone together. ‘Are you all right?’

‘Oh, yes, thank you.’ She was a little surprised at his anxiety, until she remembered that he was probably reproaching himself for having vented his irritation on her.

She wanted to tell him that it was all right-that he needn’t bother about it: but, remembering the previous snub when she had read his thoughts too nearly, she was afraid to say anything.

When at last it was time to go, she could scarcely hide her relief. Perhaps Julian. noticed something of it because he glanced at her curiously, and then maintained a tactful silence on the way home.

‘Did you enjoy yourself?’ he asked, as they came into the white-panelled hall of the flat.

‘Yes, thank you,’ Alison said dutifully, but suddenly she shivered, quite irrepressibly, as she remembered that frightening scene with Simon.

‘What’s the matter?’ Julian said quickly.

‘Nothing.’

‘But you shivered just now. Why?’

‘I-I’m a bit cold, that’s all,’ she assured him hastily.

‘Cold? You’d better go straight to bed, Alison, and I’ll bring you a hot drink,’ he said.

‘Oh, no-really you needn’t. I’ll be all right,’ She spoke eagerly, but he seemed unimpressed.

‘Yes-I’d rather. Hurry up, and I’ll go and heat some milk.’

She thought of telling him that she didn’t like milk, anyway, but it seemed a little ungracious when he was obviously so anxious to do something for her. She would have to drink it somehow.

By the time he knocked at the door, she was in bed.

‘Come in,’ She sat up quickly, and rumpled up her hair with a nervous hand.

Julian came in. He was in his dressing-gown, and was carrying her glass of milk very carefully.

‘Thank you.’ Alison smiled as she took it, and thought absurdly that she loved him best of all like this-not quite so self-possessed as usual, and with an odd suggestion of anxiety to please.

He sat down on the side of the bed and watched her drink the milk-which she did with the best grace she could muster.

When she had finished, he took the glass and put it on a side-table. ‘Feeling better now?’

‘Yes, thank you.’ Alison hugged her knees and smiled at him suddenly. ‘Are you?’

He looked astonished for a moment. Then, without any warning, he leant forward and put his head against her.

‘I’m sorry I vented my beastly temper on you,’ he said in a remorseful whisper.

‘Why, Julian dear-’ Alison was touched and surprised beyond measure. She thought he was oddly like a child who couldn’t bear to go to bed without being forgiven. ‘It doesn’t matter a bit,’ she told him, and timidly stroked his hair.

‘Oh, yes, it does. You’re such a good little thing. It was disgusting of me to be cross with you, when you were only trying to do your best in a miserable situation.’

Alison laughed gently.

‘Don’t think about it any more.’ She lay back and, putting her arm round him, drew him close. ‘It must have been hateful for you. I think you may be allowed a few frayed nerves, in the circumstances.’

Julian smiled too at that, and moved his head contentedly against her.

‘It’s nice like this.’

‘Is it?’

‘Um.’

Alison hoped he wouldn’t notice how her heart was beating. But he seemed too intent on something else.

‘I don’t know how you contrive to be so marvellously soothing, Alison, at your age. You have all the calm of a much older person, without any air of criticism.’

‘Have I?’ Alison didn’t know quite whether to feel flattered or put out at this.

‘Yes. That’s why I can tell you things I couldn’t dream of telling anyone else. It’s your wonderful detachment.’

‘Oh, is it?’ Alison said helplessly, quite unable to hide her astonishment.

‘Yes, of course.’ He frowned a little, but it was only a thoughtful frown, she could see. I mean-when I tell you about Rosalie and-how I feel. It’s really rather an extraordinary thing to be able to talk about it to another girl- especially a girl you’ve married, even if it’s only in the unreal sense that we’re married.’

Alison couldn’t say anything at all. She could only think bewilderedly, ‘Does he really imagine I feel "detached" about him and Rosalie? Really, men are stupid!’ She rather wanted to be angry with him, but when she glanced down at his tranquil face as he lay against her, she thought with sudden tenderness instead; ‘I don’t really mind what he says, if he’ll only look like that.’

He was silent for a few minutes, and then he roused himself abruptly.

‘I must go. It’s very late and you ought to be asleep.’

She moved her arm at once and then-perhaps because some of the things that Simon had said had sunk deep into her pride and love-she spoke on an incredible impulse.

‘If you’d rather sleep here than in your dressing room, you can, you know.’

She didn’t look at Julian as she spoke. At the back of her mind, she wondered a little grimly whether he would consider that she was maintaining her ‘wonderful detachment.’

From the half-minute of silence she knew how taken aback he was.

Then he took her lightly by her chin. There was a rather odd expression in his eyes, which she couldn’t in the least understand.

‘Thank you, darling,’ he said slowly, ‘but I shall be quite all right in my dressing-room. Good night, bless you.’ And he kissed her on her lips.

Then he got up abruptly and went out of the room without even a backward glance, leaving Alison to make what she could both of the kiss and of the refusal to stay.

A week later they moved into their new home, and Alison seriously took up the responsibilities of being a rich man’s wife.

Perhaps he thought she was a little too serious about it all, because when they had been round the place on a tour of inspection the first evening, he said a trifle anxiously:

‘You do like it, don’t you, Alison?’

‘Yes, of course.’ She smiled at him. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘Oh-nothing. Only you looked so very solemn.’

‘I suppose I’m feeling a bit awed,’ Alison said slowly.

‘Good heavens. Whatever for?’

She slipped her arm into his at that and gave it a half-nervous, half-affectionate squeeze.

‘I’ve never had any place to call my own before, you know,’ she explained. ‘At least, nothing but my bedroom at school and that wasn’t really mine. It seems so strange to think that all this is-is half mine.’

‘Half yours.’ He laughed softly. ‘You dear, odd child. You would put it with scrupulous fairness, of course. Why, it’s all yours if you want it.’

‘Oh, no,’ she interrupted quickly.

But he didn’t seem to notice, because he went on with sudden, passionate earnestness: ‘I want you to feel it’s all yours-this and whatever else you would like to have. Sometimes, when I realise how little you are getting out of this business, I-’

‘Don’t,’ Alison said sharply. She felt she simply couldn’t bear to have him heaping generosities on her like this, when the one single thing she wanted-his love-was so obviously not for her.

He stopped abruptly at her exclamation, and looked puzzled. ‘Alison, what is it?’

‘Nothing, nothing.’ She gave him a quick, nervous smile in an effort to reassure him. ‘But you make me miserable when you’re so wonderfully generous, and then talk about my having nothing. I am happy and satisfied. Please believe that.’

‘Very well.’ He smiled a little too, and touched her hair with an odd gesture of tenderness which suddenly made it very difficult not to cry.

She hastily went over to one of the windows and pretended to be rearranging a curtain.

‘I must get Jennifer to come round here soon,’ she said, speaking at random. There are several things I want to ask her, and she’s so good at arranging things.’

Julian nodded. ‘That reminds me-they want us to go down to their country cottage next week-end. They’ve got a place in Sussex, you know.’

He was busy lighting a cigarette and did not see that Alison had gone rigid. She remained with her back to the room, her hand quite still on a fold of the curtain.

‘Do you mean that Jennifer asked us?’

‘Yes. That’s to say, Simon did. It’s the same thing,’ Julian said.

Alison thought that it was not the same thing at all. But it seemed impossible to voice any protest, There was no reason in the world why she should object to the week-end-so far as Julian knew.

‘You didn’t specially want to do anything else, did you?’ Julian was looking at her now.

‘No-oh, no,’ Alison assured him. ‘I’d like to go to the cottage.’

She hated the idea, really, she told herself fiercely, but she felt helpless in face of the utter impossibility of explaining fully to Julian.

Why on earth should Simon have chosen just now to invite them down there? He must know how queer and embarrassing it would be for her. Or was it just that he didn’t care?

They drove down on the Saturday afternoon, through a cold rain-storm which threatened to turn to snow at any minute.

By the time they arrived at the cottage it was already beginning to grow dark, and the square, fire-lit hall was a very attractive sight.

‘You poor dears I Aren’t you simply frozen?’ Jennifer drew them both towards the fire, and kissed Alison, ‘I think it’s too heroic of you to come down here at this time of year. It was Simon’s idea entirely. To my mind it’s just idiotic to go into the country in December unless you absolutely have to.’

‘Probably they aren’t such over-civilised, city-softened creatures as you,’ observed her brother equably. ‘This place is just as beautiful in December as in June.’

‘All right You can be as rude as you like,’ Jennifer laughed ‘But London remains the only place where I can contemplate the thought of winter with stoicism.’

‘Did you have a good journey down?’ Simon was taking Alison’s coat and speaking to her in that half-indifferent, half-caressing voice that was so disturbing.

‘Yes, thank you.’

‘And do you think me absurd to ask you here in the winter?’

Alison felt embarrassed, and glanced at Julian. But he was talking to Jennifer.

‘I-I like the country any time of the year, if that’s what you mean.’

‘Well, it isn’t quite.’ Simon gave that peculiar smile of his. ‘But it will do.’

Then he turned to speak to Julian, and a moment or two later Jennifer took Alison upstairs to see her room.

It was an exquisite place, with little dormer windows set in pointed eaves. The furniture was Queen Anne period, in palest, gleaming walnut, every piece a thing of beauty in itself, while the curtains and hangings were in old-world, rose-spattered chintz.

On a low table, under one window, stood a huge bowl of pink roses, the living counterparts of the roses in the chintz.

‘Why, how wonderful!’ Alison drew a deep breath of admiration. ‘What glorious roses to have in December.’

Jennifer laughed.

‘Simon brought those down from Town specially for you. He was most exercised about getting the right shade. You ought to feel flattered, I can assure you, for I’ve never seen him bother about these little gallantries for anyone else.’

‘It-was very kind of him,’ Alison said, and bent down to sniff the scent of the roses a little nervously. She thought, somehow, she would have liked them better if Jennifer had put them there.

Downstairs again, she tried very hard to be appreciative and to talk easily about the beauties of the cottage. She admired the improvements Simon had made, and praised the marvellous combination of modern comfort and old-world charm. And all the time she wished and wished that she were safely back in her London flat.

Simon was absolutely his charming, easy-going self once more; the perfect host, the amusing companion. But Alison knew that, after that scene at the dance, she could never look at him with quite the same eyes again, and she thought now:

‘When he is quiet, it’s like the quiet of the sea-dark and still and, somehow, a little menacing.’

She scolded herself for a fanciful little fool because she was vaguely alarmed to find that Julian’s room was the full length of the passage from hers. She never remembered being nervous like this before, and it made her feel annoyed and ashamed.

‘You’ve changed the rooms round a bit, haven’t you?’ Julian said, looking round. ‘I don’t remember ever having seen this one before.’

‘Yes. This is Simon’s room, really,’ Jennifer explained. ‘But for some reason or other he changed only this week.’

‘I like change.’ Simon said carelessly ‘You get into one mood and one groove of thought if you always stay in one place.’

‘Really, Simon’-Jennifer looked surprised-’I’ve never heard you talk like that about moods before.’

‘No?’ her brother smiled. ‘But the idea is a sound one.’

‘And which is your room now?’ Alison asked, rather as though she couldn’t help it.

Simon didn’t answer at once, but he looked at her a little strangely, she thought Or was that her fancy too?

‘He has the room at the other end of the passage now,’ Jennifer answered for him. ‘The one opposite the rose room-your room, you know.’

‘Oh, I see,’ Alison said. And for one ridiculous, incredible moment she wanted to cling to Julian and say, ‘Take me home. Please take me home.’

The utterly illogical access of nerves passed, of course, and, later that evening, she wondered what on earth could have possessed her to make her feel like that.

An admirably cooked meal was served by the woman who-with her husband-did all the work of the house. And then they all four sat round the fire.

Alison sat quite still staring into the flickering fire, with a growing feeling of half-superstitious dread, while the others went on talking.

She didn’t like the cottage, she told herself. She didn’t like the owner Above all, she didn’t want to sleep alone- not in that beautiful rose-filled room, just across the narrow passage from Simon’s room.

It was ridiculous, of course. There was actually nothing concrete at all that could happen The whole thing was completely illogical But then fear never was logical. That was the worst of it-you couldn’t argue with it.

‘Alison’s half asleep,’ declared Jennifer. ‘And no wonder. Look at the time.’

She began to murmur a protest but Julian got up at once, and she had no choice, but to follow suit He kissed her good night quite calmly under the eyes of the other two. Jennifer scarcely appeared to notice but even without looking at him, Alison knew that Simon’s dark eyes were smouldering with that strange inner fire that was frightening.

How dare he! she thought angrily as she went upstairs with Jennifer. What business was it of his how Julian kissed her-or indeed; if he kissed her at all?

Alone in her room she undressed quickly, but she didn’t get into bed. She crouched down on the rug by the fire, and listened to the rising wind moaning round the house.

Presently she heard the two men come upstairs, and there was the sound of Julian’s door closing. She couldn’t hear that Simon shut his door but then. of course perhaps it closed quietly. Or perhaps he preferred to sleep with his door open. It was an ordinary enough thing to do. But somehow she hated the thought of Simon’s door half open- just opposite hers.

The wind came again, shaking the windows and lifting the little chintz curtains. so that the roses seemed to be swaying to and fro. A few drops of rain found their way down the wide cottage chimney and fell hissing into the flames. Alison drew her wrap more tightly round her and shivered a little.

By now she scarcely knew what she feared-the night, or Simon, of the wind, or just being alone, The strange, inexplicable sounds which disturb the night in any old house began to force themselves on her strained attention, and the loud beating of her own heart sounded like a drum.

She began to think of the passage outside her door. It was not so long, really. She could reach Julian’s room in a few seconds-if she ran. And her slippers would make no sound on the thick carpet.

Slowly and a little stiffly Alison got to her feet. She put out the light, and stood there for a minute in the glow from the fire, before she went over and softly, softly began to open her door.

The firelight from her room showed her that Simon’s door was half open. It appeared to her to yawn darkly, and for a moment she thought she could not pass it.

Then she was out in the passage.

She took one step, and a board creaked ominously. She held her breath. It seemed to her that there was another sound from somewhere-she could not have said where. And in sudden, unreasoning panic she fled along the passage, silently, breathlessly, not even pausing to think.

Julian’s door was before her, clear in the moonlight from the landing window. Scarcely bothering about silence now, she opened the door, slipped in, and closed it behind her.

And then, for the first time, as she stood there in the darkness, she felt utterly and absolutely safe.

‘Julian,’ she said. ‘Julian.’ She was surprised to hear how her voice shook.

She heard him give a smothered, sleepy exclamation, ‘Is that you, Alison? What’s the matter, child?’ And then the shaded light by his bed was switched on.

Alison came over slowly and stood there a little awkwardly in the circle of light, watching him as he mechanically smoothed his hand over his hair.

‘What is it, Alison?’ he said again, and she didn’t think he sounded overwhelmingly pleased.

‘I-I’m frightened,’ she stammered ridiculously.

‘Frightened?’ he repeated in astonishment. And then something in her white face and big scared eyes seemed to reach him. He leaned out of bed without a word, and calmly lifted her in beside him.

‘Is that better?’ He drew her close, and she gave a great sigh of relief, which somehow became a sob instead.

‘Hush, you poor baby.’ He pressed his cheek against her hair. ‘Why didn’t you come to me before? How your poor little heart is beating.’ His hand was against her heart, and she thought it must surely stop beating with the sweetness of his touch.

‘I’m all right now,’ she whispered.

‘Sure? Shall I put out the light, or do you want it?’

‘Oh, no, I don’t want it now, thank you.’

He stretched out his hand and put out the light.

She lay close against him, warm and safe and utterly content. Somewhere she could hear a door swinging in the wind. Simon’s door, no doubt, but it held no terrors for her now.

Presently she heard someone go and close it quietly. And that was the last thing she heard.

When she woke next morning, she was in her own bed in her own room, very carefully and securely tucked up like a baby. Julian must have brought her along and tucked her in like this. It made her laugh a little, but it made her feel very happy too. He had such funny, dear, careful ways with her, even if he didn’t-

Then she stopped abruptly. She wouldn’t follow out that line of thought. It didn’t lead anywhere and only made her miserable.

It was still fairly early, but the sun was shining so brightly that she decided to get up. She bathed and dressed quickly; then, slipping on a thick coat; she ran quietly downstairs and let herself out of the front door.

When they had arrived the previous afternoon it had been too dark to take in much. But now she saw that a big garden stretched on either side of the house, and at the back it sloped away downhill to a chattering stream.

The whole place looked a little sad and neglected after the winter rains, but even on this December morning there was a certain wild sweetness about it.

Alison wandered along the uneven paths, stopping to look at things here and there; and she thought she understood what Simon had meant when he had declared the place was as beautiful in December as in June.

Poor Simon! She had been really silly about him last night. Her vague fears seemed utterly ridiculous in the morning light. Only, she would not have wished them away, she thought, because that would have cancelled those heavenly hours with Julian.

As she turned back to the house, she saw that Simon was coming towards her. She thought he looked a little pale, but he greeted her with a smile, and strolled along beside her, pointing out one or two things, and drawing her attention to the view beyond the garden.

She stood for a minute, looking away to the distant hills, her hands in her pockets and her hair blowing in the wind. Then, suddenly becoming aware of the terrible intensity of his gaze, she glanced at him.

He dropped his eyes immediately with an odd hint of sullenness. Then he said unexpectedly, ‘I hope I didn’t disturb you when I closed your door last night, but the wind was making it swing rather noisily.’

‘‘My door!’ She looked astonished. ‘Was that my door I heard?’

‘Yes. Didn’t you know?’ He was looking at her again now.

‘No. At least- Why, of course, I must have left it open when I went along-’ She stopped abruptly, perhaps at his expression.

‘God in heaven,’ he said in a fierce whisper. ‘You’re not going to finish that sentence to me, are you?’

She drew back sharply.

‘I think you must have gone crazy,’ she said coldly.

He passed his hand over his eyes.

‘I think perhaps I have. I didn’t know there was anything -like that between you two. Not until I heard you go along to him last night-and him carry you back-this morning.’

‘Simon! Will you stop saying these unpardonable things!’ The stormy anger in Alison’s eyes matched his own for a moment.

He made an impatient gesture.

‘Very well. I’m sorry-if that’s what you want to drag out of me. And here comes your Julian,’ he added with concentrated bitterness. ‘For God’s sake go and speak to him, for I can’t.’ And, turning on his heel, he left her.

Shaking all over, Alison went to meet her husband.

‘Julian-’ She took his arm quickly. ‘Julian, could we please go back to Town this afternoon, and not stay here until to-morrow morning?’

‘Why, my dear?’ He didn’t look quite so surprised as she had expected, but, with her nerves so strung up, she felt she could bear no arguments.

‘Oh, do you always demand an explanation before you will do anything?’ she cried with uncontrollable impatience.

‘No, of course not. We will go back this afternoon,’ he said quietly.

‘Oh, thank you.’ She bit her lips to keep them from trembling.

‘Alison.’

‘Yes.’ She looked faintly startled at his tone.

He turned her gently but relentlessly towards him.

‘Has Simon anything to do with this decision of yours?’

CHAPTER IX

ALISON had the odd sensation that her mind went completely blank for a second. Then incoherent thoughts seemed to rush in from every side at once. Explanations… prevarication… the truth… which was the right thing to do? What would simplify the miserable situation instead of complicating it?

She looked up desperately into her husband’s face. And at the quiet reasonableness of those grey eyes she suddenly found courage again.

With only a hint of nervousness, she stroked the sleeve of his coat appealingly.

‘Julian, don’t think me deceitful or-or anything, but please may I leave that question unanswered?’

He raised his eyebrows slightly.

‘My dear, I’ve no wish to force your confidence now or at any other time,’ he said. ‘But you realise that your silence is almost an answer in itself?’

‘Please, Julian-if you’d just say no more about it-’

He could not ignore the earnestness of her appeal. ‘Very well,’ he said slowly. ‘But I will arrange that we leave this afternoon. There will be no necessity for you to make explanations to anyone, you understand-not to anyone.’

‘Thank you, Julian,’ she said. And without another word they went into the house together.

It was impossible to say whether Julian was deliberately responsible for the fact, but Alison was not left alone again with Simon, and for that she was profoundly thankful.

Only right at the end, when they were actually going out to the car, Simon drew her back slightly, so that Julian and Jennifer went on ahead.

‘I hope there were some things about the week-end which you enjoyed, Alison,’ he said, ‘and that I haven’t entirely spoilt it for you.’

In the relief of going away it was easier to forgive him, and Alison impulsively held out her hand.

‘It’s all right, Simon. Don’t think any more about it, and I won’t either.’

He made rather a wry face for a moment.

‘You’re asking a good deal of my memory, aren’t you?’ he said. ‘But if your forgiveness depends on that-I’ll do my best.’

And then they came up with the others once more, and good-byes were said.

‘You must bring her again, in the spring. It’s beautiful then,’ Jennifer told Julian.

‘Yes, come again, in the spring,’ Simon said. But it was at Alison that he looked, and not at Julian at all.

On the drive back to Town they talked very little, but something in the contented quality of their silence reminded Alison of that time months ago when Julian had described her as ‘a restful little presence,’ and it made her very happy.

It was pleasant to be home again-for the luxurious flat was rapidly becoming ‘home’ to Alison, after all-and to add to her pleasure there was a letter from Audrey which had arrived the previous evening.

‘Dear Alison’ [she wrote, with touching confidence], ‘You will be pleased to hear we shall be home for the Christmas holidays in just over a week Do you and Julian like pantomime’s? Because we thought it would be more fun going with you than with Mother. If Julian doesn’t like them we could go with just you one afternoon, and then go home to your new flat for tea. We’d like to see the flat.

‘Theo thinks you may not want anybody but yourselves, but I should think you’ve nearly got over that by now. Anyway it will be very nice to see you.

‘Lots of love.-Audrey.

‘P.S. Could you tell Daddy very tactfully that I do want a bicycle for Christmas? I’m afraid Mother means it to be a silver manicure set, and it does seem such a waste, as I should have much more use for a bicycle.’

Alison laughed a good deal as she handed the letter over to Julian.

‘I must see what I can do with Uncle Theodore,’ she said.

Julian read the squarely written lines.

‘We could make perfectly sure, of course, by giving her the bicycle ourselves,’ he suggested.

‘Why, of course we could! I keep on forgetting. It’s such fun being-’ She stopped and looked a little embarrassed.

He smiled. ‘What is fun, Alison?’

Alison flushed. ‘Being rich,’ she said after a moment.

Julian laughed outright at that.

‘I begin to think it is, now that I have you to point it out,’ he agreed amusedly. ‘Shall I see about these pantomime tickets?’

‘Oh, thank you, Julian. You don’t want to come too, I suppose?’

‘Why not?’ He was still smiling thoughtfully, although he was not looking at her.

‘Well, I-I hadn’t thought that taking children to a pantomime was quite in your line, somehow,’ Alison said.

He gave her that amused, winning look that he could sometimes wear. ‘Stop talking like a superior mother of a family,’ he told her. ‘I’m just as well qualified as you to take children to a pantomime. We’ll take them together.’

‘Very well. That would be nicest of all, of course,’ Alison agreed.

She too smiled a little as she turned away. When Julian was boyishly light-hearted like this, it made up for nearly everything.

A week later, Alison went to the station to meet the twins on their arrival.

They were both quite obviously delighted to see her, and Audrey kissed her with unembarrassed fervour.

‘How nice you look, Alison,’ she said. ‘You’re nearly as pretty as Rosalie sometimes, and much nicer, of course. I’m going to enjoy these holidays!’

The next afternoon was an unqualified success. The twins possessed a certain rather artless capacity for enjoying themselves which made them excellent company. And both Julian and Alison went to a good deal of trouble to see that they had plenty to enjoy.

It amused and touched her to see Julian so much at home as the host of a couple of schoolchildren. There was nothing surprising in his being an admirable escort when he took her out, but it was something of a revelation to find that he seemed to know by instinct-or perhaps forethought-what would best please Theo and Audrey.

During the interval, she looked round interestedly. She hadn’t been to a pantomime since the days of her own early school holidays, when she used to come with her parents. Then, the grown-ups had seemed immeasurably older than oneself, and really rather unimportant people. It was funny how ten years could change one’s point of view.

Afterwards, they took the twins home with them to the flat for tea, since that seemed to be what they most wanted.

‘I say, what a lovely flat,’ exclaimed Audrey.

‘And tea,’ supplemented Theo, with his usual economy of words.

‘It was nice of you to ask us here,’ Audrey said, turning to Julian.

‘Not at all,’ Julian assured her. ‘I was under the impression that you asked yourself.’

‘Did I?’ Audrey paused for a moment in the act of selecting a cake, and looked enquiringly across at Alison.

Her cousin only smiled, while Julian said gravely, ‘I seem to remember a letter which outlined a very happy Christmas holiday for us all.’

‘Oh, that.’ Audrey went on with her tea. ‘Well, I thought it would be best to get plenty into these holidays before Alison starts having a baby or anything like that.’

Alison looked slightly put out, but Julian said with admirable composure:

‘It was very kind of you to think of Alison’s entertainment.’

‘Well, one never knows,’ Audrey remarked, helping herself to another cake.

‘No,’ Julian agreed gravely, ‘I must admit-one never does know.’

Alison flushed and laughed.

‘Don’t be silly, Audrey.’

‘It’s not silly, really,’ Audrey assured her. ‘I’ve noticed-nice people like you nearly always have a baby quite quickly. People like Rosalie are quite different.’

Alison felt unable to find an answer to this at all, and even Julian’s sangfroid failed him for a moment. It was left to Theo to remark sagely:

‘I shouldn’t think Rosalie would ever have any.’

‘Well, suppose we leave that to the future,’ said Alison with great firmness, while Julian pushed back his chair abruptly and, fumbling nervously for his cigarette-case, strolled over to the window.

‘Anyway, she’ll have to find a husband first,’ observed Audrey uncharitably.

‘Audrey, you’re not to talk like that about your sister,’ Alison said sharply. ‘It’s extremely rude and not at all clever, as you seem to think. Besides, you know quite well, in any case, that Rosalie is engaged.’

‘Oh, but didn’t Mother tell you?’ Audrey didn’t appear very seriously dashed. ‘It was broken off last week. The engagement, I mean. I don’t know which did the breaking, but, anyway, it’s done.’

‘Rosalie’s-broken-’ Alison’s voice died in her throat Without even looking at him. she was overpoweringly aware of Julian’s tense stillness.

Then Audrey gave a squeal of protest.

‘Oooh Julian, you’ve dropped a lighted match on the carpet. Look, it’s scorching it!’

‘All right don’t get excited. It’s out now.’ Julian spoke quietly, but with a little thread of hoarseness in his voice.

‘It’s made a mark, though,’ Audrey said inexorably.

‘Never mind, Audrey dear. Finish your tea now. It doesn’t really matter,’ said Alison.

And it was true, of course. The whole carpet could have been burnt up and, in a sense, it would not have mattered. It was something that could be remedied.

There were other things that could not.

Later that evening, when the twins had been sent home perfectly happy in the car, Alison wondered if there were anything that she could-or should-say to Julian. But he was in one of his silent, absorbed moods, and she decided in the end that it was best to let Rosalie’s broken engagement pass without comment.

She could only hope nervously that neither she nor Julian need see Rosalie for some while, and that perhaps, by then, her cousin’s fickle affections would have fastened on someone else.

Christmas came and went without incident, except for the frequent visits of the twins, who seemed inclined to make a second home of the flat. From them Alison learned casually that Rosalie was still at home. So that when Aunt Lydia made a half-hearted suggestion that she and Julian should spend Christmas with them, Alison had a polite but firm excuse ready.

And, as only the most perfunctory concession to duty lay behind the invitation, her aunt did not press it.

Alison was sorry when the school holidays came to an end. She was warmly fond of both the children by now, and she knew that Julian, too, found them amusing and lovable in a way that was good both for him and for them.

‘Holidays are quite different now we have you and Julian,’ Audrey told her artlessly, and Alison thought it was one of the nicest compliments she had ever received.

The following Saturday afternoon Julian had an unexpected business engagement and, knowing that her uncle was quite likely to be at home that afternoon, Alison went along, a little fearfully, to Aunt Lydia’s house; she was uncomfortably aware that she had hardly seen Uncle Theodore since the wedding, and she trusted to luck that Rosalie at least would be out.

The servant who opened the door to her was one who had known and liked her in the old days, and she gave Alison a very friendly smile.

‘Is Mr. Leadburn at home?’ Alison asked as she came into the hall.

‘I think so, Miss Alison. Shall I go and see for you? I expert he’s in the little drawing-room.’

‘No, it’s all right, thank you,’ Alison told her. ‘I’ll go along myself, And Mrs. Leadburn-is she in?’

‘She went out just after lunch, Miss Alison, and won’t be back until late.’

Alison hoped profoundly that Rosalie had gone with her, but, feeling she could not prolong her enquiries further, she just nodded pleasantly and went along the passage leading to the little drawing-room.

Alison used to think afterwards how strange it was that one was never in the least prepared for the most overwhelming shocks of life. She was conscious of nothing more than a mild nervousness in case she should meet Rosalie, and a pleasant sense of anticipation because she was to see her uncle.

She opened the door, expecting to find him there, perhaps reading or writing letters. But her uncle was not in the room. Two other people were, however. One was Rosalie, and the other was Julian. And both were completely oblivious of anyone but each other.

With a distinctness that burnt itself on her consciousness, Alison saw that Rosalie’s arms were round Julian’s neck. her fair head pressed against his shoulder. He was speaking to her in low, urgent tones, and the arm which was round her was obviously holding her tightly.

This, then, was Julian’s unexpected business engagement.

In absolute silence Alison withdrew, closing the door behind her.

She felt terribly sick, and there was a high, singing noise in her ears. She wondered for a moment if she were going to faint, and then, with a tremendous effort, she pulled herself together.

There was no one in sight. The servant who had let her in had gone away once more to the back of the house, and the hall was quite empty. There was no reason why anyone should know about her visit. The only important thing seemed to be to get away.

Slowly and deliberately, as though it were difficult to make her muscles obey her, Alison let herself out of the front door.

It was only a matter of minutes since she had come in from the quiet square outside, but somehow it all looked quite different now, like some place she had only seen in a dream.

She walked along slowly, feeling a little better now that she was in the open air, but without much idea of what she was really doing.

Julian and Rosalie. Julian and Rosalie. It was like some dreadful jarring refrain that kept on repeating itself in her life. She would imagine for a while that she had escaped from it, and suddenly, without any warning, there it would be again, shattering the quiet harmony which she had so foolishly supposed was hers.

‘What can I do? What can I do?’ she kept repeating to herself. And then she found that she was saying it aloud in a hoarse little whisper.

She must get a better grip on herself. People would think she was mad. Perhaps she was a little mad. She felt strangely light-headed.

It was impossible even to think of going home to the flat. She didn’t think she ever wanted to go there again. But she couldn’t go on walking for ever. If only there were somewhere, somewhere.

Presently she found she had turned into Knightsbridge. Mechanically she quickened her steps, so that she should not look quite so strange and wandering, for it would give such a queer impression if she just crept along aimlessly as she had been doing for a long time now. Every now and then she paused to stare at shop windows. Not that she saw anything that was in them, but at the back of her aching mind was the conviction that she must pretend to do as other people were doing.

Only she wished she could have sat down somewhere instead of walking and walking.

And then someone spoke her name.

‘Alison!’

She looked round, vaguely scared, and saw that a slim black Alvis had drawn up beside the kerb. At the wheel was Simon Langtoft.

‘How are you, Alison? I thought it must be you, but you didn’t hear me the first time I called.’

‘Didn’t I? I’m sorry.’ She felt dull and stupid, and unable to think of anything to say.

‘Can I give you a lift?’ he asked.

But she didn’t much want to go in Simon’s car and perhaps be questioned.

‘No, thank you. I-I’m shopping, you see.’

‘Shopping, dear?’ His expression changed his voice was suddenly extremely gentle. ‘But you can’t be shopping, you know. It’s Saturday afternoon. The shops have been closed for hours.’

She gave him a nervous little smile.

‘Oh, yes, of course. It’s Saturday afternoon,’ she repeated. and slowly her eyes filled with tears.

‘Alison, won’t you get in and let me drive you home?’

‘No-oh, no, thank you. I couldn’t go home.’

There was a second’s pause.

‘Then will you just let me drive you somewhere-anywhere-until you’re feeling better?’

She didn’t answer that in words. She slipped silently into the seat beside him.

He leaned over and banged the door. And the black Alvis slid away into the stream of traffic once more.

There was silence except for the hum of the motor. Then presently Alison began to cry quietly. Simon still didn’t say anything, but she knew he must know what she was doing.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said in a whisper. ‘I’ll stop in a minute.’

‘It doesn’t matter. And don’t bother to talk. Just lean back and take it quietly.’ He pushed a rug towards her with one hand. ‘Tuck that round you. It will keep you warm.’

She obeyed him mechanically, and presently she closed her eyes.

At last she opened them. It was dark outside, and for a bitter moment she was reminded of that strange drive with Julian on the first day of their honeymoon. But this time it was not Julian who was beside her. It was Simon. And there seemed to be a curious significance in the similarity- and the difference.

‘Simon, where are we?’ she asked a little huskily.

‘Somewhere quite near the coast, but that isn’t as far away from London as it sounds. If you feel you can manage some food, I think we ought to stop and have some dinner soon. It isn’t good for you to go so long without anything.’

‘Very well,’ Alison said listlessly, and they relapsed into silence again. She felt dully grateful to him for that, for it was extraordinarily kind and tactful of him to remain silent when all the time there must be a hundred questions he longed to ask.

‘But perhaps he knows I’d just cry again if he asked them,’ thought Alison.

‘This will do, I think.’ Simon drew the car to a standstill outside a country hotel. It had an air of solid comfort about it, without any suggestion of loudness or too much liveliness.

He helped her out of the car, and kept his hand round her arm in firm support as they went into the hotel.

A long panelled dining-room-with high-backed, carved settees which shut off the tables from each other-promised some measure of privacy, and, after one glance at her, Simon proceeded to order the meal without reference to her.

Again she was thankful to him for not troubling her with questions, and gradually, as she ate, she felt a little strength and coherence of thought coming back to her.

He made her have a dash of brandy with her coffee, and after that a faint colour came back into her cheeks, and she managed to smile slightly at him.

‘Thank you. You’re really being most awfully kind.’

‘No, I’m being kind to myself too,’ he told her a little curtly.

She glanced down. ‘I mean-it was kind of you not to ask questions.’

‘I didn’t need to. Only one thing would make you look like that.’ He spoke with the faintest touch of bitterness, and then seemed to make an effort to conquer it, for he added gently, ‘I suppose Julian has-’ He stopped.

‘He can’t help loving Rosalie,’ Alison said quickly, and then she too stopped, because it was strange to be defending him for something which had hurt her so terribly.

‘Rosalie has broken off her present engagement, hasn’t she?’

‘Yes.’ Alison bit her lip.

‘So that-’

‘I know, I know,’ Alison broke in sharply. ‘If he hadn’t rushed into this absurd marriage, he would be free to-to go back to the woman he really wants. You needn’t put it into words, Simon. I know all the arguments backwards.’

Simon remained quite silent.

‘It would be almost-simple, if Rosalie were anything different.’ Alison spoke slowly, as though she were thinking aloud.

‘What do you mean?’ Simon’s voice was quiet still, but a certain quality of urgency had crept into it.

‘She’s so cruel, Simon So cruel and mean and petty. Don’t think I’m saying this because I’m jealous. I was once, but I’ve got a long way past that now.’ Alison pushed back her fringe wearily and leaned her forehead on her hand. ‘Rosalie hasn’t really forgiven him one atom for marrying me, and she doesn’t love him in any deep sense at all. She’d enjoy taking it out of him.’

‘Isn’t that rather his own affair?’ Simon said, a trifle drily. ‘You can’t live his life for him, you know.’

‘No, but I might stop him from ruining it,’ She sighed. ‘I wish I knew if I were being really honest about this. It’s so hard to know.’

There was silence for a moment or two, and then she said, ‘What time is it, Simon?’

‘Latish. Between eight and nine.’

She looked horrified.

‘So late? Oh, we must get back. Julian will wonder what on earth has happened.’

‘Does that matter?’

‘Well, of course.’

‘Suppose you didn’t go back.’ Simon spoke slowly.

‘Oh, don’t be silly.’ Alison made an impatient little movement. ‘One can’t solve things like that. It wouldn’t be my way, in any case. Whatever I decide to do, I must have it out frankly with Julian, and all the cards must be on the table.’

‘All the cards, Alison?’

She dropped her eyes.

‘Perhaps not quite all,’ she admitted in a low voice.

He didn’t say anything to that. And then he settled the bill and they went out to the car once more.

‘Will it take us very long to get home?’ she asked anxiously.

‘Not very long.’

They drove for a while in silence. Then: ‘Where are we now?’ Alison said nervously. ‘It’s so dark I can’t see anything.’

‘Don’t you recognise the outline of that mill over there against the sky?’

‘No. Ought I to?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘We’re quite near my cottage.’

‘Your cottage? Then we still have quite a long way to go.’

‘No,’ he told her. ‘It’s not more than an hour’s run in this car.’

‘Even so-’ she began.

‘We were so near that I thought it best to stop for ten minutes. You’ve looked so cold and tired for the last half-hour: you must have a hot drink of some sort.’

‘Oh, no,’ Alison said quickly. ‘Oh, no, I don’t want it, Simon, really.’

‘My dear’-Simon spoke quietly but firmly’-’it wouldn’t take very much at the moment to make you really ill, I insist on our stopping, if it’s only for a few minutes. I can’t risk your getting a chill when you’re in this state.’

Alison gave up the argument, but when they drew up outside the cottage and he led the way up the path, her heart was full of misgiving.

He switched on the lights as they came in, and put a match to the log fire.

‘Simon, it isn’t necessary. We shall only be here a few minutes,’ she protested.

But he only smiled and said:

‘Sit down and get warm I’ll not be a moment,’

‘Are the two-I mean-are your housekeeper and her husband not here?’

‘No. They’ll have gone home by now,’ Simon said calmly, and went off into the kitchen to see what he could find.

Alison drew near the fire and sat down. She pulled off her hat and ran her hand over her hair. She wished very much now that she had insisted on starting for home much sooner. It would be so terribly awkward having to explain to Julian. Almost impossible to do it without going into the whole miserable question of himself and Rosalie, and she felt utterly incapable of doing that to-night.

Suppose that scene with Rosalie had been only an irrepressible impulse of which he was now ashamed. Oh, it wasn’t likely, of course-but just suppose-

Alison gazed into the fire that was beginning to glow warmly now, and the light on her face made her look a little less strained.

Simon came back, carrying a tray with two steaming glasses.

‘Here you are.’ He handed her one of them.

‘What is it?’ She sniffed it doubtfully.

‘Never mind. Drink it up. It will do you good.’

Alison drank it obediently. It seemed to make the blood run more easily in her veins and to melt a little of the frozen despair round her heart.

‘Thank you. That’s much better.’

She looked up with a little smile at Simon… And suddenly he was kneeling beside her, his arm lightly round her waist.

‘Oh, Alison, I’ve thought of you so often like this. Sitting here smiling at me, with the firelight on your face.’

‘Simon, please-’ She moved nervously. But he went on as though she had not spoken.

‘I was a fool last time, I know. I thought Julian was so unimportant that it scarcely mattered his being here. I was wrong, of course. It was just plain hell having him near you in the place I love so much. But it’s different now. There’s no Julian to spoil things this time. Just ourselves-alone.’

Alison drew back as far as his arm would allow her.

‘You mustn’t talk to me like that, Simon. I don’t want it. Won’t you understand? Please, please let’s go now. It’s so late already, and we’re still a long way from home.’

And at that Simon raised his face to hers with a smile. For the first time, she saw, his eyes were brilliant and sparkling; that strange opaque quality was gone. He spoke quite gently, with a little under-current of amusement in his voice.

‘But you don’t really suppose I’m going to let you go away from here to-night, do you?’ he said.

CHAPTER X

IN one quick movement Alison was on her feet, all the vague, half-defined misery of the last hours swamped by the present crisis.

‘I suppose you’re trying to frighten me,’ she said breathlessly. ‘It’s not very kind of you, Simon, especially just now, when you know I’m so worried.’

‘I’m not trying to frighten you.’ He too, got to his feet, and towered over her as she backed against the wall. ‘I’m simply taking matters out of your hands-making the decision for you.’

‘But you can’t.’ She spoke sharply because she was so much afraid.

‘On the contrary, my dear, I can. That is exactly why you are here.’

‘You mean you arranged this? You did it on purpose?’

Simon smiled faintly.

‘It would have been asking a little too much of chance that I should have it all done for me,’ he said.

‘But it’s ridiculous.’ Alison was trying desperately to hold off the full realisation of her position. ‘It’s too-too utterly melodramatic’

‘Melodrama and fact are quite often the same thing,’ Simon said drily. I’m sorry if I seem to be playing the part of the villain. But I’ve been patient, Alison, for quite a long time-and I am not a patient man by nature.’

‘No,’ she said bitterly. ‘No, I’ve gathered that, You think that to want a thing is the best possible reason for taking it.’

‘It’s a very good reason, Alison, in this imperfect world.’

‘Simon,’ she said appealingly, ‘you don’t really mean the dreadful things you’re saying, do you? Think again.’ She put out her hand and took his for a moment, but, at the way his expression changed when she touched him, she drew back again quickly.

He put his hands behind him, and she saw from the sudden tensing of his muscles how hard he was gripping them together. Somehow, that effort to put some sort of curb on his passion frightened her as much as everything else.

‘Please, please don’t prolong this hateful scene,’ she begged. ‘Take me back home, Simon. I-’’

‘No!’

The monosyllable was curt, rude, and final. It drove the words of protest from Alison’s lips, so that she stood there staring at him in scared silence.

‘Think what you’re asking me to do,’ he said roughly. ‘I’ve thought of you here, dreamt of you here, longed for you here, until I believed I should go mad. Now I have you here-and you ask me to let you go. Now, when we’re alone together and there’s nobody in the whole world to say no-except you yourself. And I trunk I shall know how to turn your "no" into "yes".’

‘You will not!’ With a sudden desperate movement she tried to pass him. But he had her at once, catching her against him in an access of emotion that found vent in a triumphant little laugh.

‘It isn’t any good, you know. You’re mine by every right, and you can’t get away from me.’

She didn’t say anything, only struggled silently, while he held her lightly but irresistibly. She didn’t know whether it were her heart or his that was beating in those slow, heavy thuds, but it seemed to her the only sound in the world just then.

There was silence in the rest of the house, silence outside. Miles and miles of silence-and she and Simon alone in the midst of it.

She had been a fool ever to come with him, an utter fool. And now she had only herself to thank. She ought to have remembered that instinct which had warned her right from the beginning that there was danger in being alone with him.

Now it was too late.

Suddenly she stopped struggling, and lay there quite still against him, staring up into his face.

‘Simon, you wouldn’t do-that to me-by force?’ she whispered.

‘It won’t be force in the end,’ he said softly, and he kissed her, whether she wanted it or no.

‘Please-’

‘No, don’t struggle again.’ He spoke quite quietly. ‘Listen to me instead.’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘But you must’ He turned her face gently so that she had to look at him, ‘What is this life of yours with Julian really worth? Nothing. He makes you comfortable and gives you money: well, I will make you comfortable and you can have every penny I possess. He gives you a sort of mild, bloodless affection; I will love you, worship you with every bit of my soul. His mind is with another woman three-quarters of the time; I’ll give you, every thought and word, and you shall do with me what you please.’

‘But I don’t love you.’ It came in weary, unvarnished protest, and, though it was only a whisper, it shook him a little.

‘I’ll make you love me,’ he exclaimed vehemently. ‘God knows, I have more than enough for us both. I’ll give you time, darling. You shall learn to love me, as and when you please.’

‘Time,’ she said bitterly. ‘You’ve given me plenty of time to-night, haven’t you?’

‘Oh, that!’ He made an impatient movement, ‘I had to do things that way if they were to be done at all. But if you will stay here with me now, you shall make your own terms. Oh, yes’-as he saw a scornful little smile just touch her lips-’I can control myself. I know; you think I cannot, But you’re wrong. If you’ll stay here now, you shall do what you please-sleep where you please, since you want it in so many words. Only Julian must know that you spent the night here-and he must be allowed to draw the obvious conclusion. It’s the way out. Can’t you see that it’s the only way out? And so utterly simple.’

Her eyes met his for a moment, and then fell. And, for the first time, he knew his proposal had reached her reason instead of just rousing her terrified instinct.

Suddenly she put her hands over her face.

I can’t, Simon, I can’t, I love him too much.’

‘But I’ll make you love me instead.’

‘It isn’t the same.’

‘No, it wouldn’t be the same. It would be something much more secure and beautiful. Perhaps, Alison, it might be the best thing for him.’

‘If I thought that-’ She dropped her hands and stared away from him, her eyes wide and dark in her white face.

There was that heavy silence again, unbroken except for the beating of their hearts.

Then, far away in the distance, came another sound-the hum of a high-powered car being driven at a great speed. There was the rising whine as it topped a hill, and then the sound almost died away as it dropped into a hollow.

Just the sound of a passing car being driven through the night. No more. And yet somehow it recalled Alison to a sense of reality as nothing else could have done. There was an outside world. There was something else besides these bewildering arguments, this insidious persuasion.

She drew away from him with a quick movement he had not expected.

‘I will not do things this way. It’s useless for you to argue.’

But he was at the door before she could reach it, his back pressed against it, his eyes dark and shadowy once more with that peculiar hint of menace.

‘You have no choice,’ he said a little thickly. ‘If you will not stay willingly and tell Julian you spent the night with me, then you shall stay against your will, and I will tell Julian you spent the night with me.’

‘I shall deny it,’ The colour flamed up in her face. ‘And he’ll believe me.’

‘Oh, no, my dear, you will not deny it,’ he assured her gently, ‘for, in this particular case, it will be true.’

‘It will be-what?’ She backed away from him.

He didn’t move. He only looked at her.

She had a wild and useless impulse to scream for help- perhaps to whoever was driving that nearing car. It was like drowning in sight of land to have someone actually pass at the crux of this fantastic scene.

Pass? No; whoever it was must be stopped somehow. No one could possibly hear her scream against the sound of that car, and yet she must make some sort of effort.

By the sound it must be almost level with the cottage now. Alison drew in her breath to scream with all her strength.

But the sound never came, for, with a grinding of brakes, the car drew up abruptly at the gate, and a second later a man’s footsteps were heard crunching up the gravel path.

The sharpness of the knock on the door made them both wince. Then for a moment neither of them moved.

‘Hadn’t you better go?’ Alison said in a whisper.

‘No. It’s probably a friend from Town, taking a chance on my being here,’ he answered in the same low tone. ‘If I don’t go he’ll think the place is empty. If I do, you won’t have much reputation left.’

Alison thought it queer that he should speak of her reputation at that moment.

The knock came again, with a peremptory sound which certainly didn’t suggest that the caller would be easily discouraged. And at that moment Alison pointed to the window.

‘The shutters aren’t closed. He must be able to see a light.’

‘Damn,’ Simon said, and went out of the room abruptly, closing the door behind him.

She heard the latch of the front door drawn back, and listened for the sound of voices.

There was none.

There were three quick steps across the hall instead. The door was flung open, and Julian, paler and sterner than she had ever seen him, stood in the doorway.

‘Julian,’ she said in a fascinated whisper. ‘Julian-’

And then she couldn’t say any more. It was like a miracle to see him standing there-like an answer to all her unspoken prayers.

She supposed he must be thinking- Well, she couldn’t even imagine what he must be thinking. But that scarcely seemed to matter. The relief was so enormous.

Then Julian spoke, quite quietly.

‘Are you ready to come home with me?’

‘Yes-oh, yes.’ Alison spoke eagerly, almost feverishly.

She looked round a little vaguely for her hat, and Simon handed it to her.

It was only then that she remembered his presence again. She looked at him and she saw that his eyes were on her-burning, pleading, compelling. But she could not do what he wanted. Whether it was good for Julian or not, she couldn’t pretend she loved Simon.

‘It’s the last chance,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Can’t you see that, for us all, you must say something?’

She drew back, and Julian’s voice said coldly:

‘I would rather you didn’t speak to my wife just now, Langtoft.’

Simon didn’t take his eyes from Alison.

‘I was reminding her that perhaps she had better say something to you in explanation of. all this.’

‘She doesn’t need to explain,’ was the chilly reply.

‘Oh, yes, I do.’ Alison came to life. ‘Because it’s quite simple really. I went motoring with Simon. We forgot the time and were late starting back. Then we passed the cottage and he thought I looked cold and needed a hot drink. So we stopped. That’s all.’

For a moment Julian’s eyes went to the fire, which had burnt very low by now.

‘I see,’ he said gravely, and held open the door. ‘Shall we go?’

She came without another word.

At the door she looked back for a second at Simon. He had his head thrown back and his nostrils were slightly distended. Then, as their eyes met, he bowed deeply.

‘To the inevitable,’ he said with a flashing smile. But, as she turned away again, she saw that there were beads of perspiration on his forehead.

She went out to the car with Julian, and he handed her in with all his usual courtesy. He carefully tucked a rug round her and asked her if she were quite comfortable.

‘Yes, thank you,’ Alison said in a subdued little voice.

He backed the car, turned it, and a few seconds later they were heading for London at the full speed of Julian’s powerful car.

She thought at first that he must say something. They couldn’t, surely, drive in silence after all that had happened?

But in silence they drove.

For a while she was relieved. Then she became vaguely annoyed. Was he doing the lofty, injured husband? she wondered resentfully. It didn’t come very well from him in the circumstances.

She wanted to say, ‘Life is melodramatic, as Simon says. In the afternoon I find you in Rosalie’s arms, and in the evening you discover me apparently preparing to spend the night with Simon.’

But she stole a look at Julian’s face and thought it would be wiser not to try this piece of defiance.

Then on one point her sheer curiosity got the better of her.

‘How did you guess where I was?’ she asked in a low voice.

‘I never thought of your being anywhere else,’ he said quite simply.

‘Didn’t you?’ Alison couldn’t hide her astonishment, ‘But why?’

‘Hadn’t we better leave all that until to-morrow?’ he said.

‘To-morrow? Aren’t we going to-to have things out tonight?’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’ve had all the emotional scenes you can stand for one night.’

‘Oh,’ Alison. suddenly wanted to cry at this queer little instance of his thought for her. It was so different-so utterly different-from Simon’s way of forcing an issue, even to the point of being brutal.

‘You’d better just sit back and keep quiet. Shut your eyes and sleep if you can,’ Julian told her.

And for once Alison was rather glad to have him treat her like a child.

In the end, she must have dozed, because there was a gap when she didn’t seem to be thinking about anything. And then she found Julian was carrying her from the car into the flat.

She said something sleepily about being able to walk, but he didn’t seem to hear. Anyway, he took no notice, but carried her right into her bedroom.

‘You’d better go straight to bed, Alison.’

‘Yes,’ she. said, rubbing her eyes rather childishly.

‘Is there anything you want, or will you be quite all right now?’ He spoke very gently.

‘I don’t want anything. I’m all right, thank you. I just-’ just want to go to bed.’

‘Yes, of course. I’ll leave word for you not to be woken in the morning. You’ll need to sleep on.’

She wanted to say pettishly, ‘I’m not ill.’ It hurt to have him so solicitous about her, for it implied that he felt guilty -about Rosalie.’Good night.’ he said.

‘Good night. Julian.’ She forgot about Rosalie suddenly, and wished passionately that he would kiss her good night, He had done so quite. often lately, and perhaps-

But he didn’t, of course. She supposed he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Anyway, it would not have meant anything-any more than the other times had meant anything, she realised now.

She got to bed, weary beyond description. At first she cried a little, partly because it was such a relief to be alone, and partly because she was so frightened of the future. Then she. felt too tired even to cry, and, with the tears still on her cheeks, she sank into a heavy and dreamless sleep.

When she woke again she stared incredulously at the little clock on her table. It said nearly half-past twelve, and from the depth of the light filtering through the curtains she knew it must be somewhere near that time.

Leaning upon her elbow, she rang the bell.

‘Is that really the time, Jenny?’ she said to the maid who came in.

‘Yes, madam.’

‘Goodness, how awful,’ Alison said. But Jenny smiled indulgently. She liked her young mistress. and didn’t see why she shouldn’t stay in bed all day if she wanted to.

‘Mr. Tyndrum said perhaps you would like your lunch in your room, madam.’

Alison considered that.

‘Well-yes, Jenny, I think perhaps I would,’ she said.

and leant back against the pillows again with a slight sigh. She felt a little bit weak and funny, somehow-rather as she had once when she had been convalescing after flu.

It was stupid, of course, because she had never felt better in her life until yesterday afternoon.

When Jenny had gone, she rolled over and buried her face in the pillow. It made her feel sick even now to think of yesterday afternoon, and what had happened then. The scene with Simon afterwards was beginning to look almost insignificant in comparison. After all, she had come quite safely out of that, whereas the reckoning over Rosalie still remained.

Ordinarily, she was more inclined to face things than to avoid them, but she was thankful just now of even an hour or two’s reprieve from the impending scene with Julian.

‘There’s one thing-I must keep calm,’ she told herself. ‘Otherwise I shall go and cry, and then Julian just might guess-and then I’d die.’

When her lunch came she didn’t feel very much like eating it, but she did her best, and then lay there telling herself she must get up.

But, instead, she fell asleep again-to wake with a fearful start, late in the afternoon.

Her heart felt like lead, and she was breathing in quick shallow little breaths. It was a hideous feeling-like waking at school on the morning of a particularly awful exam, only ten times worse.

It was no good shirking things any longer, however, so she got up, thinking how strange it seemed to be bathing and dressing at this hour in the afternoon.

She put on a little brown velvet suit with a pale honey-coloured blouse that Julian had once admired. She always had a special affection for the clothes he liked, though, of course, there wasn’t much sense in thinking about that sort of thing just now.

Julian was not in the lounge when she looked in, so she went along to his study, and there he was, sitting at his desk. He appeared to be writing absorbedly, but she had the quite preposterous impression that until her knock sounded he had been sitting with his head in his hands.

He got up at once, however, and rather anxiously made her come and sit down in a comfortable chair.

‘Do you feel better, Alison? I was getting quite worried about you.’

‘Oh, yes, I’m all right now, thank you.’ She smiled bravely. ‘I’m ashamed to have slept so long.’

‘I expect it was what you needed,’ he said kindly, and then there was an awkward silence.

She glanced at him and saw that, if she had slept well, he had not. There was an air of strain about him that went to her heart.

‘We have a lot-to talk about, Julian,’ she said a little diffidently.

‘Yes, my dear, we have a lot to talk about’

And then suddenly she wanted nothing in the world so much as to reassure him. She put out her hand and took his gently as he stood beside her chair.

‘Julian dear, I want you to know-I don’t blame you in the least’

His face changed indescribably, and she saw he was intensely moved. She supposed it was a fearful relief to him that she should have guessed so much and that few explanations were necessary.

‘My darling child, how dear and generous of you,’ he exclaimed in a low voice. ‘But I blame myself-terribly.’

‘Please don’t,’ Alison said sadly. ‘It was our crazy marriage that was to blame. I remember., the very first moment I suggested it, you told me it would be a ridiculous and unnatural position. You were quite right, of course. Something like this was bound to happen.’

Julian bit his lip, and, even in the firelight, she could see how pale he was.

‘Yes," he admitted, ‘something like this was bound to happen. The only thing that lessens my self-reproach is that the marriage can be cancelled without much fuss. You will be able to divorce me quite quietly.’

‘Of course,’ Alison began. And then the rest stuck in her throat because it hurt unbelievably that he should expect without question that she would let him go at once.

‘But I can’t forget that you must have suffered so much and so unnecessarily, you poor child,’ he said, with an impatient sigh.

‘Oh-oh, no,’ Alison assured him, because, for the sake of her pride, she felt she must say something.

‘Why were you afraid to tell me, Alison? Was it that I had seemed so blind and stupid that you thought I wouldn’t understand?’

‘What-on earth do you mean?’ Alison flushed scarlet, wondering in a moment of furious, shocked humiliation if he were going to sentimentalise about her love for him just as he proposed to leave her.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said gently. ‘I’m not trying to force your confidence. What really happened last night is your affair, not mine. But’-he touched her hair softly-’did you really suppose, my child, that you had to go away with him before I would understand?’

Alison felt her throat go dry.

‘What-what are we talking about?’ she said bewilderedly.

It was his turn to look taken aback, and a little anxious too.

‘Why, about you-you and Simon, of course. What is it, Alison? You’re not feeling faint or something, are you?’

She stared at him.

‘Are you-suggesting-that Simon and I-?’

‘Don’t, Alison,’ he said sharply. ‘Don’t you understand that there’s no need to pretend any more? It’s I myself who should be blamed, for leaving you so much alone and unloved-for being so blind and uncaring. It was not until we were at the cottage that week-end that I realised you loved him-and even then I thought it might be a passing infatuation; you seemed so afraid of it yourself.’

‘Did I?’ she said stupidly. ‘Whatever did I do that made you think that?’

‘Your coming along to me that night, you poor baby, as though you were running away from your own self, and then the next morning, when you were so upset after you had been talking to him-and you begged me to take you home, but would give me no explanation. It was pitifully clear.’

Alison passed her hand over her eyes, and wondered if she were going to scream. It was like some grisly farce, having Julian so earnestly insisting on the very thing she had fought so hard to escape.

‘So that was what you meant when you said you guessed at once where I had gone last night?’ she said slowly.

‘Yes, of course. I could have shot myself when I realised what I had driven you to. I’d been so unpardonably absorbed in my own affairs and feelings during those early days,. forcing you, in my colossal vanity, to listen to my confidences as though they were the only thing that mattered.’

‘You didn’t have to force me,’ Alison said faintly and irrelevantly.

‘No, I know. You were always so sweet in your sympathy and understanding,’ he told her quickly. ‘It’s not for me-’ He hesitated, and then went on a little diffidently:

‘It’s not for me to say anything; but you’re much too dear and good for Simon too, of course. Only if it’s him you love, you must have him.’

‘I don’t love Simon,’ she said flatly, but not as though she expected very much to be believed. She was beginning to feel sick and weary again with the utter futility of argument, Besides, it seemed to all of them such a marvellous solution if she would only love Simon.

She had come to this interview prepared to be brave and magnanimous about Rosalie. and now all that was happening was that she was being gently pushed back towards Simon, by Julian himself.

‘Poor little Alison,’ Julian said gently. ‘I expect you scarcely know what your feelings are by now.’

And at that something went snap in Alison’s brain.

‘I know perfectly well what my feelings are;’ she cried, her voice quivering with anger and pain. ‘I’ve known what they were from the very first moment, You all imagine you know what I think and am and want and feel. And you don’t-not any single one of you. You’re stupid, stupid, stupid!’

And, to her horror, she burst into the flood of furious tears which she had so desperately feared.

‘Alison-’ His arms were round her in a moment.

‘Oh, let me go, let me go!’ She was struggling and sobbing, scarcely knowing what she was saying.

‘Child, child, don’t cry so. No man’s worth such tears.’

‘No, you’re right,’ she sobbed furiously. ‘No man’s worth such misery. Not you-nor anyone else.’

‘I!’ Julian was thunderstruck.

‘Yes-you, you, you!’ gasped Alison in a passion of anger and misery beyond her control. ‘Are you a perfect fool that you never guessed? You, who understand me so well-"little Alison", who must be petted and protected- Alison with her "marvellous detachment" who will listen by the hour while you talk about Rosalie-Alison who loves Simon! Oh, that’s the supreme idiocy of all! It isn’t Simon-it never was Simon. Must you have it in words of one syllable? It’s you I love! And, oh, I wish I were dead.’

CHAPTER XI

‘BE quiet, darling. Do you hear me? You mustn’t cry like that. I can’t kiss you if you cry so.’

But he was kissing her, all the same-long suffocating kisses on her mouth. Kisses that stopped the words and the tears and almost her breath itself.

She lay still at last, quivering with spent emotion, catching her breath in little after-sobs that were like a child, in spite of her brave outburst of words.

‘You don’t-have to-kiss me just because-I cried,’ she said in a husky, sulky whisper.

He laughed tenderly at that.

‘I’m not kissing you because you cried. At least-a little because of that, of course. But mostly because I’m so desperately, frantically relieved-and because your dear red mouth is the sweetest thing in the world to kiss.’

Alison leaned her head back against his arm and stared at him.

‘I suppose I’m still asleep or something,’ she muttered. Then with a little smile she hid her face against him. ‘Anyway, it’s a heavenly dream,’ came in a muffled voice.

He rubbed his cheek affectionately against her hair.

‘It isn’t any dream, and you’re wide awake.’

‘But-but what about yesterday afternoon?’

She looked up again, and the smile was gone.

‘Yesterday afternoon? What about it?’ Julian asked.

A little of Alison’s angry bewilderment returned. She passed her hand over her forehead and pushed back her hair.

‘Did I or didn’t I see you with your arms round Rosalie, making love to her?’

An extremely complicated expression came over Julian’s face, and there was a slight pause.

‘As a matter of fact, my dear,’ he said at last, ‘you didn’t. I don’t want to sound ungallant, but I’m afraid what you probably saw was Rosalie with her arms round me, making love to me.’

‘It’s very much the same thing,’ Alison said sharply.

‘Oh, no, Alison. It’s something very different’

‘I don’t understand.’ She moved her head against him a little as though it ached, and at that he very tenderly stroked her hair.

‘I wouldn’t have chosen to be the one to tell the story, Alison dear,’ he said, ‘but the truth is the only thing possible between us now, and I think I had better be frank.’

She drew close against him.

‘Yes, please. We’ve both done enough of thinking we knew what the other meant and deciding we couldn’t say anything because it wouldn’t be fair to someone else and all that sort of thing.’

Julian smiled.

‘Very well, then. You’re thinking, aren’t you, that when Rosalie broke off her second engagement I was full of angry regrets at not being free to take things up with her again?’

‘Well, weren’t you?’

He shook his head. ‘No.’

‘But you were fearfully put out when Audrey told us about the broken engagement. I remember, because-because it made me so frightened and miserable.’ Alison’s voice quivered.

He bent his head and touched her cheek with his lips.

‘I was put out-not because I wanted Rosalie, but because I didn’t, by then. And I wished to God she’d stay contentedly tied up to someone else.’

‘Julian! You didn’t want Rosalie any more? When did you first find that out?’

‘It began on the night of that dance. Do you remember? You went off for a while with Simon.’

‘Oh, yes, I remember,’ Alison agreed a trifle grimly.

‘And I had a long talk with Rosalie.’ He stirred a little embarrassedly. ‘It’s horrid to have to say it, but she said the most beastly and spiteful things about you. She was angry, I suppose, because I refused to regard our marriage as more or less non-existent. She so obviously hated you, my poor little Alison, and I’d just been finding what a dear, warmhearted, loyal child you were.’

Alison pressed her head against him silently.

‘She tried so hard to disparage you in my eyes, and all the time she was really showing me odious side-lights on herself. I don’t know whether the sweet sanity of being with you had restored my judgment a little, or what, but everything she said seemed self-revealing. It wasn’t all done in one evening, of course. But that was the beginning. And then, when we came home-’

Julian stopped suddenly, and, gently putting his hand under her chin, he tilted up her face so that he could look into her eyes.

‘My little girl,’ he said quietly, ‘your sweetness and tenderness to me that night will be with me always. I had repaid your eagerness to help me with nothing but unkindness and impatience. You might well have been sick of the sight of me.’

‘Oh, no,’ murmured Alison, smiling to herself.

‘And instead, you were so dear and understanding. You even laughed at me very gently, so that I shouldn’t take myself with such fatuous seriousness. I cannot tell you how you seemed to me, in contrast to Rosalie’s behaviour that evening.’

Alison coloured faintly.

‘I don’t think I was specially nice,’ she said doubtfully.

‘No? Well, you were "nice" enough to make me fall in love with you,’ he said simply.

‘Oh, Julian-was it then?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘It was then that it started.’

‘But you wouldn’t’-her eyes fell-’you wouldn’t-stay with me when I asked you. You just said good night and went away.’

‘Darling’-he caught her close-’don’t you understand? It seemed to me just the supreme instance of your generosity-that you were offering me your companionship because you thought I was unhappy. It was a moment of blinding self-revelation, because it was then I suddenly realised that if I stayed with you it wasn’t just sympathy and companionship I wanted.’

‘I see.’ She hesitated, and then said in a low voice, It wasn’t just sympathy and companionship that I wanted either.’

He kissed her wordlessly at that-another of those passionate, overwhelming kisses that were yet so different from Simon’s way of kissing her.

‘And so, after that, you began to be quite relieved that Rosalie was safely engaged to someone else?’ Alison said presently.

‘Yes. It seemed to me for a short while that everything was going to work out marvellously. I was falling in love with you-and a divine experience it was-and I thought you were falling in love with me. Then came this bombshell of discovery that all the time you loved Simon, as I supposed.’

‘Poor Julian,’ Alison laughed softly. I never liked Simon much, you know. It-it was all on his side really.’

‘Yes, I see that now. But it seemed to me that I deserved no better than that you should love someone else. I had held you so lightly and carelessly when you could have been mine. It was only just that I should lose you. Sometimes I hoped you would get over it, and at other times I tried to tell myself that you must have whatever would make you happy.’

Alison stroked his arm.

‘You were prepared to let me go if it meant my happiness?’

‘Well, yes-of course. I hope I had so much decency left, It was the least I could do. And then, to complicate things abominably, Rosalie broke off her engagement,’

‘It’s funny to think how horrified we both were about that, and all the time we needn’t have bothered at all,’ Alison said thoughtfully.

‘Yes. It seems to me we’ve harrowed our feelings over lots of things without any need.’ Julian’s smile was rather rueful.

‘You mean I was stupid to misinterpret the scene yesterday with Rosalie?’ Alison said quickly.

‘No more stupid than I for misinterpreting the situation with Simon,’ Julian told her. ‘It must have seemed pretty conclusive. Actually, she rang me up at the office, you know, and-well, begged me to come along and see her as soon as I got away from that late interview. I had someone in the room at the time, and it was a little difficult to keep up a persistent refusal.’

‘And when you got there, of course, she staged a scene?’

Julian squeezed Alison tightly against him.

‘Yes. It was-very unpleasant altogether,’ he said a little nervously. ‘You don’t want to hear about it, do you?’

She shook her head with a smile.

‘I don’t want to hear about anything but that you love me.’

‘Well, you’re going to hear about that for the rest of your life,’ he told her earnestly.

At that moment, the telephone bell shrilled, and, leaning over, he took up the phone in one hand while he kept the other arm close round her.

Alison lay back, looking up at him, and loving every line of that thin, keen face.

‘All right, I’ll hold the line,’ she heard him say.

‘What is it?’ Alison whispered.

He smiled down at her.

‘Foreign telegram coming over the wire. Hello. Yes?’

She watched interestedly while surprise, vexation, and then something like amusement crossed his face.

‘No, no answer at present. I’ll call back later,’ he said, and replaced the receiver rather deliberately.

Julian was silent for a moment, and she said again, ‘What is it?’

He didn’t answer that directly. He said instead, with an odd, smiling glance, ‘Would you like to go to Buenos Aires, after all?’

‘Buenos Aires!’ Alison hesitated. ‘I-I don’t know. Would you?’

‘Not specially now,’ he admitted.

‘Well then, nor would I,’ Alison said emphatically. ‘Why?’

‘The question has come up again and they want someone to go out there almost right away.’

‘Oh.’ Alison looked doubtful. ‘What will you do about it, Julian?’

Julian looked thoughtfully round the room. She didn’t know that the sudden tender darkening of his eyes meant he was realising how dear this home of his had become. Finally his glance came back to her.

He bent down and lifted her out of her chair right into his arms.

‘I think, darling,’ he said, ‘that I shall strongly recommend Simon Langtoft for the job.’

And he kissed her as she had wanted to be kissed ever since that first evening in Aunt Lydia ’s house.

About Mary Burchell

Ida Cook was born on 1904 at 37 Croft Avenue, Sunderland, England. With her old sister Mary Louise Cook (1901), she attending the Duchess' School in Alnwick. Later the sisters took civil service jobs in London, and developed a passionate interest in opera.

A constant presence at Covent Garden, the pair became close to some of the greatest singers of the era; Amelia Galli-Curci, Rosa Ponselle, Tito Gobbi and Maria Callas. They also came to know the Austrian conductor Clemens Krauss, and it was through he that Cooks learned of the persecution of European Jews. In 1934, Krauss's wife asked the sisters to help a friend to leave Germany. Having accomplished this, the sisters continued the good work, pretending to be eccentric opera fanatics willing to go anywhere to hear a favourite artist. Krauss assisted them, even arranging to perform in cities they needed to visit. The sisters made repeated trips to Germany, bringing back jewellery and valuables belonging to Jewish families. This enabled Jews to satisfy British requirements as regards financial security – Jews were not allowed to leave Germany with their money. Using many techniques of evasion, including re-labelling furs with London labels, the sisters enabled 29 persons to escape from almost certain death.

The Cooks' own finances were little precarious, and when Ida obtained a contract with Mills and Boon to published her first novel in 1936, she left the Civil Service to write full time. As Mary Burchell, she became a prolific writer of romantic fiction. Her great popularity helped the success of Mills and Boon, and guaranteed substantial income after the war. For many decades, her writing supported her two passions: refugees and young opera singers. Her flat in Dolphin Square at various times housed homeless European families.

In 1950, Ida Cook wrote her autobiography: "We followed our stars", and in 1965, the Cook sisters were honoured as Righteous Gentiles by the Yad Vashem Martyrs and Heroes Remembrance Authority in Israel, thus joining Oskar Schindler among others.

She helped to found and was for many years president of the Romantic Novelist's Association. As Mary Burchell, she wrote over a hundred romance novels, many of which were translated, and her most famous work is "The Warrender Saga", a series about the opera world, full of real details. She also wrote as James Keene with William Everett Cook.

Ida Cook passed away on December 22, 1986 and her sister Louise in 1991.

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Content

Mary Burchell
Nobody Asked Me

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX

CHAPTER X

CHAPTER XI

About Mary Burchell