h Valizadeh Roosh

Bang, or more lays in 60 days

Prologue

It started Spring of 2001. I was 21-years-old and spent my free time on the computer reading message boards or playing games. I had no skill with women, and the ones I knew either used me for my brain to tutor them or as an emotional tampon to feel better about the guys who didn’t take their shit. I remember thinking how stupid these other guys were to make such pretty, nice girls upset. Don’t they realize these girls will probably stop talking to them? My friends were unsuccessful with women too, so we all reinforced our lack of skill during all-night games of Risk or poker. I wanted to get out of this cycle but felt I had little control to make a change.

I observed other guys and concluded that success with women was a skill you were born with. Then there was one girl I started to like in my organic chemistry class. She was Persian, same age as me, with long, curly hair and olive skin. We would study together in groups and I could swear she was giving me extra attention. I analyzed the situation with my nice guy friends and we all concluded that she did like me as more than a friend. After a couple weeks of hesitation, I finally asked her out on a casual date to the movies. She said she couldn’t because she was very busy. Weeks later I’d see her around campus holding hands with another guy. Instead of listening to lame love songs like I usually did, for the first time I got angry. A lifetime of frustration and not getting what I wanted became focused on this one girl. I was bitter that I, a nice guy, was getting passed over for guys who I thought were losers. So I started to ignore her. If I did end up talking to her, I would cut our conversation short. When she would ask me to study I’d lie and say I was studying alone, only for her to find my study group up late at night in the library. I started feeling good for treating her poorly. I hated her and everything she stood for, which was my failure with women. But then something interesting happened: she started making a strong effort to gain my attention and favor. It was like the harder I pulled away, the closer she would come to me. This was the first time I noticed that changing my behavior can affect how girls react to me.

Soon it would become clear that interacting with women wasn’t very different from the games I’d play with my nice guy friends, where changing tactics and strategies yield different results. At about the same time, I clicked a random link on a business forum and stumbled onto something called Tony’s Lay Guide. It was the best accident of my life. This guide had tips on how to approach women, how to talk to them, how to kiss them, and how to have sex with them. I immediately printed the entire guide in case the site went offline. It reinforced to me the idea that you can learn how to get better, that you aren’t doomed to a life of infrequent sex just because you weren’t born a natural. I studied the guide for two months before I actually did anything. It was May 2001 when I approached a girl for the first time in the line of a club. I talked to her for half an hour and got her number, to the surprise of me and my friends. It was probably beginner’s luck, but this first success sold me on the idea that studying the game was a worthy cause. That’s usually how it starts for most guys getting into game: a random discovery followed by a first success or initial high when they do something they’ve never done before.

Your Goal

What is it that you want right now? Maybe you want to lose your virginity, sleep with a certain number of girls, find true love, or get a threesome. Or maybe you have goals that are more difficult to measure, like building confidence, becoming more outgoing, or becoming a better speaker. Whatever you goal is, it’s best to express it in a statement that will act as your guide and motivational force. Think of it as a corporation’s mission statement, that no matter what happens and what local creek is being polluted, you can look at it and remember what’s really important.

A lot of people set a goal, try half-heartedly to work on it for a month or two, realize it is difficult to accomplish, and then switch goals or quit altogether. But it’s a good goal if you aren’t sure you can do it or not―it’s a bad one if you are 100% sure you can. It should be a goal where you need to seek outside knowledge or acquire new skills. If it’s not hard, like most things in life, it’s not worth doing. There are two parts to every goal you set out to conquer: the journey to the goal and the accomplishment of the goal itself. The journey is where you learn, innovate, attempt, and put yourself through tough situations for the first time. This is where real growth takes place. (Sometimes accomplishing the goal gives you less satisfaction and pleasure than the little successes that preceded it.) And if you don’t quite reach your goal, that’s okay too. The journey makes the concept of failure a gray area because you will be putting yourself through changes that leave you with more knowledge on how to succeed than when you first started. You can "fail" all your life but still have accomplished much more than those who didn’t try. There have been volumes written on goal-setting that make it more complicated than it needs to be. Keep the process easy but effective by structuring your goal in this format: "I am going to ___________." Now write that on a small piece of paper or a note card. Put it in you wallet, next to your computer monitor, on your bathroom wall, or any place where you will see it at least once a week. Visualize the goal when you see your words to ready your mind for the work ahead.

Some productivity experts recommend you attach a deadline to your goal. For example: "I am going to sleep with a mother and daughter team within six months." I don’t advise doing this because the game is so unpredictable and quirky that time goals can be discouraging during the inevitable cold streak. As you gain skill, there will be periods where you sleep with multiple girls in a short amount of time, followed by nothing for several months. A strong desire to accomplish your goal that motivates you to act is enough.

Beware

Before you dive in and read this book, I have to warn you that the journey is difficult and often disappointing. Is it worth it? Yes, without a doubt. The payoff for you will be better quality women and more power and confidence to get them. But it will not come without work on your part.

You will need to interact with a very large number of women in different situations and environments. It’s not enough to just talk to the women you normally come into contact with at work or school―like a salesman you need to make cold calls to get leads, in the form of approaches. You will go to the bars and clubs and bookstores to meet women. You will talk to them everywhere, always practicing and experimenting. You will follow-through with them, call them on the phone, spend money on dates, and try to bang them. You will maintain your stable like a sheep herder maintains his flock. You will put in your energy, your life-blood, into a game that may leave you mentally exhausted. You will deal with rejections, flakes, and temper tantrums that are negative and discouraging. You will spend time studying the game and taking notes, breaking down your encounters with women. And you will spend time creating material on your own. A large component in becoming successful with women is time. You will not turn into an player overnight. The best analogy I can make to describe the game is body building. Within a short amount of time training you will see quick gains and experience fast confidence boosts, followed by peaks and valleys where you lose or gain muscle mass depending on how motivated or healthy you are. There is no end to body building, but there is a time when you look at the mirror and say, "I’m happy with what I see."

Within two months of serious entry into the game, you will accomplish many things you haven’t done before. Maybe you will do your first approach, finger a girl on the dance floor, or get a one night stand. If you are a complete beginner, within one year you will see your early game strengthen only for your mid-game to mess things up. Within the second year your early and mid-game will be much improved, but now your end-game will be begging for improvement. It’s not until after year two, with constant practice, where you will be proficient with all stages of game. At this point, other guys will notice your skill and you will begin to teach and advise a new generation of males who want to enter the game. Eventually you will reach end game, a game of no game. By now it may be hard for you to teach the minute details you once agonized over because you have internalized the best technique. You no longer notice the hundreds of small things you do to attract women. Keep in mind there are many ways to skin a cat. Often you will hear game advice that seems to be contradictory, such as to call the same night versus call in four days, to tell her you like her versus always be indirect, or to pay for dates versus never pay for dates. It’s not that any of these statements are necessarily right or wrong―what matters is what type of guy they apply to. For every man there is an infinite range of game he could play―but there is a small range that serves him best. This book presents an easily adaptable game that works well for most men, based on sound rules that drive human behavior and effective escalation steps that take you from one stage to the next. But ultimately it will be up to you to add to this game, injecting your own flavor to make it have the most impact for you. There is a point of diminishing return where learning new information without acting on it does very little to further your skill. If you give a basement boy one-thousand books on seduction, he will be no better in one year because he spent all that time reading instead of doing. It’s better to give him one resource and push him out on the field to get experience. You can read the complete works of Casanova but it still won’t put you at 1% of his game unless you get out and put his methods into practice. A book like this can only push you onto the field with enough know-how that allows you to master the game on your own.

Regardless of your current skill level or your past failures, consider this a new beginning. Not only will you get better results with women, but the confidence you gain will improve other aspects of your life as well. What you are about to read is a blunt and straightforward discussion on getting laid.

INTERNAL GAME

Internal game is the game that goes on inside your head―the thoughts and beliefs that affect your behavior, and ultimately how others respond to you. For example, if you have a belief that appearance is very important in getting laid and you are not a good-looking guy, then you will talk to fewer girls and get laid less. How you think about things like appearance, masculinity, and the concept of game will tie into your results. Before we get to actual game, let’s make sure your mind believes in a reality that will benefit you most.

Game, Not Appearance

I never considered myself a good-looking guy. In college I would look in the mirror and see big ears, acne, and a hairy, pudgy body. I didn’t like what I saw and I thought that most girls probably wouldn’t like what they saw either. As a result I didn’t even bother trying to get laid for most of college. Believing I didn’t have the right look paralyzed me from talking to girls, so I never even developed the basic skills to interact with them. I was easy-going and funny with friends, but nervous and awkward around girls. What I didn’t realize is that girls do not see me the same way I see myself. While there are consistent patterns for what makes humans attractive, your look is perceived differently in the eyes of different girls. This means that while Jane thinks you are a hideous beast, Stacy may think you have extra character. Rachel thinks you are big and awkward, but Lauren thinks you will be able to protect her. The first thing you see when you look in the mirror could be your big nose or balding head, but girls don’t zero in on these features―they absorb your entire look and presence. The insecure man, through his unattractive body language alone, is able to tell her that he is not a worthy sexual partner. His meek eye contact and slouchy appearance is a physical manifestation of his thinking about himself and the importance of appearance. Even if most females on the planet think you are a monster, it’s better to believe that looks don’t matter so that you are able to make a confident showing for the girls who don’t mind your appearance. With the addition of game, you will be able to sleep with girls whose first impression of your appearance is less than favorable. After getting into the game, I made some superficial changes to my appearance. I lost my fuzzy mustache and cut my hair, I bought trendy clubbing clothes, and I worked out at the gym to build muscle. But was I really becoming a better looking guy? I doubt it. When I compare pictures of myself now (shaggy, Jesus-looking) and one year after I entered the game, I looked more youthful, polished, and stylish then, during the time I got less sex. It’s your game that plays the biggest role in making you appear more or less attractive. It really doesn’t matter if you are putting gel in your hair or not. Now I get complimented on my appearance and approached fairly regularly even though I put less energy into looking good than my Nike sweatshirt days. If you think appearance is important and you consider yourself unattractive, you’ve basically doomed yourself to spending most of your time behind a computer. You need to have the belief that game, not appearance, is important, and proceed to go out there and play the hand you are dealt. It’s true that the better looking you are, the easier things will be―you will be able to pull girls on looks alone and say things that other guys would get drinks thrown on them for. The below-average looking man will have to work harder than the goodlooking man to get the same results. Instead of only approaching three girls to get a number, an unattractive man may have to approach ten.

While it isn’t fair that a man has to work harder because of bad genetic luck, consider the bright side: his game will be better and more honed than the good-looking guy who didn’t have to work for it. Once his look fades, he won’t have as much to fall back on. Let’s say you have bad genetic luck with your appearance. I’d compare you to a tennis athlete born with little natural ability. You have to practice six hours a day while the natural practices for two hours, only for him to cream you in most matches. But because you are committed and disciplined, you stick with the game and pull out enough wins to make money on the circuit. You will never be a superstar or top ten ranked player, but you will be able to do what you enjoy, make an upper class living, and enjoy sex from your stable of groupies.

Nature Vs Nurture

You may have the belief that you have to be born with the ability to talk to women, that it’s either in you or not. When you go to a bar and see a guy having the time of his life, with both of his arms around beautiful girls, while you sit there in the corner with a warm beer in your hand having not said a word to a pretty girl all week, it can be hard to imagine yourself being just like him. One year after I got into the game I went to a wine festival with two female coworkers. I was approaching girls pretty regularly by then but it was mostly confined to loud clubs. Walking around this farm in Virginia on a 100 degree day, I saw a tall, juicy girl wearing high-heel cork sandals matched with a skimpy outfit. I noticed that girls were checking her out as much as the guys. I stalked her at this wine festival, fantasizing about her like any other guy. An hour later I looked to my left and saw her standing under a tent with her back towards me. I walked up to her from behind and touched her upper-back tattoo. I asked, "What does this mean?" I banged her three weeks later. I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me a year earlier that I would pull one of the hottest girls at a huge wine festival by sneaking up on her and touching her. To me that would be impossible, something that just isn’t in me, something that I wasn’t born to do.

Not more than 10% of men have the innate ability to talk to girls, build attraction, and rack up more notches in a year than most men get in their lifetimes. To them, playing the game is not work―it’s like hanging out with friends. For reasons you can maybe trace to their genes, parents, or childhood, they became very good with women, and possess a skill so ingrained that they can’t even explain what it is they do. So what options do the other 90% have, like myself? Do I settle for a fat, ugly woman? Do I wait until I meet a homely girl at work to marry? Do I get rich in the hopes that I can use my wealth to land a hot but shallow girl? Or do I study the game like I would study a subject in school? You don’t need to be born with game―like sailing or motorcycle riding you can become proficient at it with practice and training. If you think you have flaws that prevent you from becoming good, realize that the naturals have flaws as well. When guys see me approach pretty girls in a bar with ease, they don’t attribute my ability to years of practice; they tell me I was born to do this, perhaps to make it easy for them to rationalize their lack of action. Fact is I got good at it using old-fashioned hard work.

"Look, I’m sure with some work I can be good at the game, but I just want to find one girl who is hot and nice. I don’t want to spend every week in some smoky club talking to a lot of snobby bitches."

This is a statement I hear often from men who believe that they should get an immediate return on their game investment. But just like with stocks, it takes time to see any meaningful return, especially since hot and nice girls are always in high demand. There is a very long line of guys out there who are willing to do almost anything to be with quality girls, you included. What do you bring to the table? Can you attract her better than another man? Why should she sleep with you? Unless you answered, "Because my game is tight and I think I’m the shit," you’re not going to get her. Simply being nice to her in hopes she wants to bang is not going to work. While she may not want a player, she does want a quality man who is experienced and knows what he’s doing. It’s important to realize that it will take a significant investment on your part before you start getting quality girls.

Confidence

Talk to anyone about getting better with girls and the word "confidence" will be tossed out quickly. Confidence is believing you are capable, deserving, and worthy of success. A confident man dives into situations that are critical to his goals, regardless of his perceived chance of failure. He rarely shows fear or hesitation. His power is visible, with shoulders back and eyes up to face what crosses his path. When you interact with a confident man, you become drawn into him not only because you think he is successful, but because you think you will succeed just by spending time with him. Experience gives you confidence because experience makes you capable. Once you are capable, you no longer go into situations fearful expecting failure. Instead, you feel good about your odds. This is why the phrase "fake it ‘till you make it" is popular in self-improvement circles; until you get "real" confidence that results from an increasing amount of success, "fake" your confidence and attempt enough experiences that will eventually lead to that success. How can you go from zero confidence to having enough to approach beautiful women? The best way is to be successful with women. Nothing gives you more confidence than banging a hot girl. If you are not there yet, the other way is to improve how you look. There are no other ways!

Earlier I discussed that appearance is not that important. This is still true when it comes to attracting girls, but a relative improvement in your appearance will give you a short-term confidence boost. This boost helps you do things like approach girls. You goal is to improve your self-image with a change that puts you in a better mood to approach and game. This can be in the form of lasting improvements like working out at the gym (a very reliable confidence booster), or more superficial changes that gets you excited about going out, like changing your hair style, growing facial hair, or buying a new outfit. Right now you only need enough confidence to make that first cold approach. Then you build off that first approach to push further, until you are approaching higher quality girls in tough situations. Very soon your confidence comes from minor successes that give you the motivation and drive to continue. Even things like having a two-minute conversation with a bombshell is a success that you will build off of. The confidence boost gets you in the game, but it’s the sexual successes which keeps you in, giving you a more permanent confidence that lasts. Your confidence will build like a snowball rolling down a hill.

Alphas And Betas

If you’ve ever watched The Discovery Channel, you’ve seen a program featuring the gorilla species with ample footage showing how the silverback male performs doggy-style on the females in his tribe. There is also footage of the beta gorillas masturbating in the corner. In the ape world, the alpha male’s dominance comes from his large physical size, a trait female gorillas select for. (If this were true for humans, the only guys getting laid would be ‘roid monsters.) Beta male gorillas accept their low position until they are ready to take a risk, either by challenging the silverback or by starting their own tribe. The alpha / beta hierarchy is not much different in humans. Beta males accept their low position and let the minority of alpha males bang most of the desirable women until they are ready to work on becoming alpha themselves. Back when humans lived in tribes, there were no books or tools to teach them about human psychology, behavior, or seduction. If you were a beta when you hit puberty, chances are you’d be a beta for life. But now that the right behaviors and attitude can be identified and studied, it is easier for today’s man to become an alpha male.

First let’s take a look at your average beta male. His number one defining trait is a fear of going after his desires. He does not go after what he wants because he does not think he is capable of getting it. He worries about other people’s needs before his own. He quietly accepts being disrespected. He seeks out his identity in areas that are unrelated to his masculinity, like his cubicle job. He is passive in bed and waits for permission before escalating intimacy. He rationalizes his failure with women and life by attributing it to reasons outside of his control. He believes the best way to be successful with women is having model looks and lots of money. The alpha male lives much differently. First and foremost, he does what he wants to do. He does not concern himself with personal rejection or social failure. His needs, wants, and feelings come before anyone else’s. No one’s judgments, dirty looks, opinions, or laughter is going to stop him from getting what he wants. He does not ask for permission. If he wants to have sex with a girl, he will use his knowledge and skills to try to have sex with her. His actions stem from desire instead of insecurity. The alpha male does not qualify himself. He does not explain his faults or failures. He accepts himself, for better or worse. He does not brag about his success. He does not need to be validated by a woman because he knows that she cannot give him what he cannot give himself. Criticism or praise has only a temporary effect on him because he already has accepted his strengths and weaknesses. The alpha male does not care about what other people think of him. He presents himself in a way that makes him feel most comfortable. He picks up on something because he likes it and it fits him best, not because it’s a trend or something he is "supposed" to do. He does not look in the mirror every ten minutes to fix his hair. He does not concern himself with getting fake tans or body hair waxes. The alpha male does not make apologies for being a man who has sexual needs. He does not hide his intentions with women, so that they know and are able to provide him with what he wants. If a woman is not comfortable with sex, he will move on and find one that is. He is not going to wait for a woman to serve his needs. He is not concerned if a woman rejects him in the bedroom―if he does not get it from her, he will get it from someone else. As a sexual being, he expects women to be sexual as well.

The alpha male lives in his own reality. He leads interactions in a way that he prefers by controlling the tempo and initiating the escalations. He believes it is in a woman’s nature to submit to a strong man. He understands that if he does not worry about his needs, then the girl will not worry about them either. He does not let the woman lead the interaction because it will result in her getting what she wants (attention and validation) at his expense.

The alpha male has high expectations of women. He does not do nice things for them without expecting something in return. He expects a girl who has his attention to be physically attractive, interesting, and sexually secure. If a girl told him that she will have sex only after months of dating, he would not pursue her. He makes it clear that he is not here to service her with free alcohol or food. Everything she gets from him is earned.

Most importantly, the alpha male is always willing to walk away. His power over women lies in the time and energy he chooses to spend with them. He understand that this mindset will be noticed by the women he meets, who will treat him with care and respect. He makes it clear, by controlling the amount of attention he gives, that he does not tolerate disrespectful or frigid behavior. If she does not like his attitude, she is free to find someone else who will put up with her, because he knows that there are many women who do know how to behave. No matter how much work he has put into a certain woman, he will not hesitate to drop her if she is not responding in the way that he wants.

The willingness to walk away, above all others, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and fully believe you will never see or hear from her again because women know when you are faking. Just like Robert DeNiro in Heat, you must be ready to leave without hesitation. While many girls will not chase you back, the ones who do will respect your terms and dive into your reality. In the end, that is what the game is about―getting what you want in the way you want, without having to sacrifice your beliefs or values. No man turns alpha overnight, but after a short amount of time, by adopting the alpha male beliefs, you will notice that both women and men treat you more positively and with more respect. One of the fastest ways to become alpha is to study one, just like how Jane Goodall would study the silverback in the wild. Watch how he interacts with people and take note not just of his words but how he says them. Since asking someone how they accomplish something is less valuable than observing it with your own eyes, you don’t even have to talk to him personally to learn from his behavior.

Sometimes the only difference between alpha and beta males is the intent, not the behavior. For example they both can be seen paying for dates or holding a door open, but beta males do these things to please and impress women, while the alpha male does them because they make him feel good or they help achieve his goals. I don’t buy a drink for a woman on a date to please her, I buy it to loosen her up. I don’t call in two days after getting her number because I’m afraid she will forget about me, I call because that is when I want to talk to her. The reason why you do things, your intent, is automatically subcommunicated to women. A woman knows if you are trying to impress her or not.

In the celebrity world where the famous actors and musicians are making millions of dollars, why is that that a handful of guys such as Lenny Kravitz, Matthew McConaughey and Leonardo Di Caprio always get the hottest women? It can’t be their money because all their other male peers have it too. And it can’t be their looks because most of Hollywood is blessed with beautiful genetics. It is because they are alpha males. Because of that they have their pick of the most beautiful women in the world.

Your Mind Is Slow

Once you start practicing the game and learning from your experiences, you can make quick adjustments that increase your results immediately. But your mind is much slower to change. It lags months behind your experience and needs constant reinforcement for the correct beliefs to stick. You can tell yourself you are willing to walk away a hundred times, but until you actually do it, your mind won’t believe you. Live out the behaviors as if you believe them until you really believe them. Internal game is the first thing you need to start working on, but it’s the last thing that you will master.

EARLY GAME

The approach is the most important part of the game. If you master only one skill, it should be the approach. No matter how much of a loser you are right now, learning to approach will automatically increase what you have gotten before. There are girls out there right now who will sleep with you, while both conscious and sober, but not until you approach them. Even if you approach with absolutely zero game, with not even the ability to construct a complete sentence, there is going to be at least one girl out of many who will bang you because you happened to catch her at the right moment. Until guys set aside their insecurities and limitations and accept that they need to get this part of their life handled, the fear of rejection is a big monster that looms in the back of their mind. Approaching a random girl without any introduction, completely cold, may seem insane, nerve-racking, and impossible. The reason for these feelings is because men have evolved to not approach. In the book Mean Genes, the authors reflect back to the time when our ancestors lived in tribes of a few dozen people. Everyone in the tribe was connected in some way, so making a move on a certain girl without getting reciprocation back ensured you would be gossiped about and ridiculed. At worst, approaching a girl who is having sex with a powerful member of the tribe meant ejection from the group and possible death. Therefore, it was a bad idea to approach unless you were very sure the girl already liked you. Our tribal history is millennia past, but men still operate as if we lived in these small groups. Unless men get very positive signals that a particular girl likes them, they do absolutely nothing. The fact that this fear of approaching is hardwired into our brain becomes obvious when you ask any man to walk up to a hot woman and say hello. Without even thinking about it, his heart starts beating faster, his face flushes red, and his mind fills with worry. He will hesitate and make up excuses on why he can’t do it. We can’t change our genes so there will always be some fear, but the result of getting ostracized and sent off to die is no longer cause for inaction. With some guys it’s not just a fear of approaching women, but a fear of talking to them as well. Shyness is a trait that many guys who are unsuccessful with women possess. But when it comes to shyness, genetics are no match for environmental pressure. While your genes determine your shyness level, you can overcome it by persistently taking social risk until the fear becomes just a low-level annoyance. What is great about the game is that it serves to rid you of your shyness while simultaneously increasing your skill with banging women. Short of seeing a therapist and taking mind-altering drugs that have dubious effects, the smartest course of action is to face your fear head-on. I don’t care if your heart is about to explode from your chest, if your face is redder than a tomato, if you can barely breathe, or if you’re on the floor having a seizure while foaming out the mouth ― you are going to look a girl in the eyes, open your mouth, and say words. If you cannot do this ― if you cannot contract your vocal cords to produce sound in the presence of another human being, then you may want to contemplate building a cabin in the woods where no girl will bother you.

When I was a little kid, I used to run and grab at my mother’s leg whenever a stranger was present. If I could get over my extreme shyness with hard work, anyone can. I have no sympathy for a man who can’t put himself through uncomfortable situations to get what he truly wants. If he can’t do this for himself, he does not deserve the sympathy of those who did go through the hardship, pain, and discomfort.

Rejection Is A Beautiful Thing

With any task you do, whether it be related to women or sports or any type of game, there are a certain number of times you must fail until you succeed. Each act of failure puts you one step closer to success. During an important presentation at work in front of thirty scientists, I interchanged the words lactose and lactate several times. This is akin to showing up at a meeting in the Oval Office without wearing pants. While I was embarrassed afterwards, it taught me simple but essential rules of how to plan and construct a presentation for educated professionals. With each presentation, I got better and better, until I was the preferred person to present data generated by our group. But without those initial mistakes, I wouldn’t have been able to polish my skills. Not doing anything may prevent you from failure, but because you make no attempt, it prevents you from success as well. This principle is especially important when it comes to women because you need to rack up a boatload of rejections to understand how to be really good with them. I have been rejected more than most guys I know, but I have also been with more women than most guys I know. You try more, you get more―there is no secret to it. The number of attempts you have to make to reach a level of success goes down as you gain experience and skill. For example when I first started, I had to approach around twenty girls to get a single number. Now I need to approach maybe three. I improved because I learned from all those prior rejections. At the time those rejections stung and I didn’t feel that great about myself, but now they are fodder for humorous stories. The human brain does an amazing job downplaying failure while glorifying success. The second reason I’m a fan of rejection is because it maximizes your results. The most uncomfortable rejection I can think of is the head-turn when you go in for a kiss. This usually leads to a very awkward moment, more so than when a girl blows you off during an approach. But now I believe the head-turn isn’t a bad rejection because it means you are not wasting kisses. If you never got rejected trying to kiss a girl, it means there are several girls you could have kissed but didn’t, only because you didn’t try. Rejection tells you that you are pushing to get all that you can. A man who doesn’t get rejected is one that is not reaching his true potential. Rejection also tells you exactly where you stand with a particular girl. There is no other better way to tell if a girl likes you or not than by seeing if she doesn’t mind your tongue down her throat. The information you get by taking the encounter farther is much more valuable than advice you may receive from friends who don’t know all the subtle details of the relationship. In college during exam days I would hear a lot of excuses as tests were being distributed. People didn’t sleep enough, or they didn’t have time to study as much as they wanted. A lot of my classmates were scared that if they really studied hard and gave it their all―and still did poorly on the test―that it would be a rejection of their intelligence. So they went through college never knowing the limits of their test-taking ability. This type of protective strategy only served to soothe their egos. Right now you have to decide if you are going to concern yourself with protecting your ego or maximizing your results. When you get rejected by a girl, there is only one thought that should be in your head: "It’s her loss." Even if you said the lamest shit in the world or accidentally spilled your drink on her, it is still her loss. If you tripped in front of her and she laughed at you, it is her loss. You need to adopt this mindset for a few reasons. First, it prevents you from dwelling on bad encounters while there are still other opportunities around you. A rejection should not end your night prematurely. Second, it increases your perceived value. Say "It’s her loss" enough times and your brain can’t help but believe it, and soon you will start expecting girls to work harder to gain your attention. Finally, it prevents you from wanting to change your game after a particularly bad encounter. If you have a solid line that bombs on one girl, and you don’t think it is her loss, you may be tempted to remove that line from your game even though it works most of the time. The guys who wish to avoid rejection the most happen to have the most pride. They think, "Why should I approach her and maybe get rejected when she’s just a stupid bar rat who happens to be attractive?" But if he is confident with his standing and ability, there is no reason for him to care about what a random girl thinks. Pride is just another defense mechanism to protect the ego―it gives men an excuse to avoid failures that may cause embarrassment or discomfort. Guys with pride are actually hiding their fear of rejection behind a "too cool for school" air that fools only them. A lack of pride teaches you to be a humble student, someone who accepts short-term failure for long-term success. A man without pride understands that rejection is okay because not every girl is able to quickly notice his many positive qualities during an approach. Even though most of your approaches won’t result in sex, you have to do them anyway. You must go into situations knowing that odds are you will fail. You have to accumulate enough experience so that you will be 100% prepared for the times it will lead to something. You have to make those ten long-shot approaches to get the one that turns out to be easier than it looked. As you do rack up experience, avoid letting your historical averages dictate your behavior. It’s common to think something like, "Well historically I have done poorly in this type of situation so I’m not going to do it this time." Historical averages are not telling of future results because your skill level will always be changing; a specific approach you bombed at a couple months ago may be easy for you today. Taking advantage of as many opportunities as you can ensures that success is not wasted.

What’s The Worst That Can Happen?

It’s easy for a guy to psyche himself out from an approach by imagining the worst possible scenario and how awful it would feel. This is more than enough to stop guys dead in their tracks, praying that the girl has more balls than he has and approaches him instead (she won’t). The typical negative outcome from an approach is usually very benign, but I can tell you what happens in the worst-case scenario because it happened to me once in Baltimore, Maryland. A great training ground for practicing game is in the mega-clubs of Baltimore where the vibe is more friendly to players than other East Coast cities I’ve been to. One of the biggest clubs in Baltimore is a place called Hammerjacks, a former rock music venue that shut down and reopened as a dance club.

One night my friends and I were doing our usual thing of grinding with random girls. After the club closed we milled outside where club-goers congregate until the cops send everyone home. It was here you’d see a type of Hail Mary game where guys gave one last and often unsuccessful push to get in a girls pants. In this parking lot I decided to try some new material I had thought of. I walked up to a cute white girl standing by herself and said, "Wow, you look drunk!"

After the words came out, I wondered why I thought this would be a good opener, but it was too late. She got angry and said, "I’m tired of guys treating me like shit tonight. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I stood there silent, unsure of what to say next. I think it was this silence that gave her permission to continue being aggressive because it quickly got out of hand. She starting cursing and repeating the phrase "I’m going to fuck you up." My friends arrived from the other side of the parking lot and tried to calm her down, but she wanted to fight me and nothing was going to change her mind. Now I’m not sure why I didn’t move farther away from her, especially when she started cocking her neck back and forth, but next thing I remember was a fist coming right at my face. I leaned back but she clocked me in my left eye. My friends grabbed her and I walked away with my hand on my face, shocked and embarrassed. I couldn’t believe I got punched in the face by a girl.

On the ride home there was lots of laughter at my expense as I checked the passenger seat mirror for signs of a black eye. I went to sleep and woke up a humbled man. The next time I went out I couldn’t do a single approach. I was scared I’d say the wrong thing again and incite female rage. But then I thought about it. This rare and extreme event is the worst thing that can happen to me and only my ego was injured. The meaning of what happened can be whatever I make it out to be, positive or negative, so I might as well go positive. I can let this one girl change my life, ending my journey to be a player right then and there in that parking lot, or I can barrel through this failure to reach the next success, which I’m one gigantic step closer to achieving. Weeks after this incident, I became an approach machine. I was doing it without hesitation or fear. If the worst that can happen from approaching a woman is an embarrassing but funny story, then maybe getting punched in the face isn’t so bad. Now you don’t have to get punched in the face to be successful with approaching, but you must have the belief that everything happens for the sole reason to improve your game. The last thing you want to do is let a rare incident affect your behavior. Scientists call these extreme responses the "outliers," and they do nothing to contribute to the statistical significance of your hypothesis. That is, they don’t matter. Instead, look at things in terms of the big picture. What is the trend? What happened the last ten girls you approached? If seven of them punched you in the face but three of them wanted to bang you right there in the club bathroom, then you’re actually doing quite well. It’ll be hard for you to make it long in the game if your brain absorbs every negative incident like a dirty bathroom rug. That drunk white girl in Baltimore wasn’t only punching me but she was punching my lame line, the guy who grabbed her ass in the club, and the friend who refuses to return her Hootie and the Blowfish CD. She was rejecting my approach but not me because she didn’t know who I was. The only time a girl does reject you for who you are is when she has known you for years. When she knows you for a minute, a day, a week, or a month, you are not getting rejected for who you are, you are getting rejected for who she thinks you are. She is using a small slice of what you presented to place you in a category that she can understand. Because we have no final say in how women see us, it makes little sense to absorb rejection as something personal. But unfortunately, I see guys taking it personal every time I go out. When a guy approaches a group of girls and gets blown out, you will often hear him say something like, "Well you’re fat anyway," in the presence of his safe group of guy friends. Once you start verbally attacking your targets, your game goes from trying to maximize results to one of pitiful revenge.

Approach Barrier

The likelihood of you making an approach is correlated to your mood. Your mind will not be open or ready to approach if you have been especially introverted, silent, or mopey during most of the day. Those qualities shut down your ability to take social risks, which we do in the form of approaches. It’s best to train yourself to be "always on" in an extroverted, talkative, and risk-taking state of mind that will increase the likelihood of approaching. Think of yourself as my computer, which I leave on during the day even when I’m not using it because of the time it takes to boot up. You don’t want to go through the arduous task of psyching yourself up just to say something to a girl you like in line at the coffee shop. The game doesn’t start when you put on your cologne to go out at night, it starts when you are brushing your teeth in the morning and think, "Today I will take advantage of opportunities presented to me." You pump yourself up before you even walk out the door, so if you do run into a cute girl the decision to act was already made. If you find yourself in an amazing mood where you are feeling especially positive and energetic, it’d be smart to get yourself in a place where there are girls. This is a peak state that corresponds to a higher level of success. Part of your mood is based on how presentable you feel to the opposite sex. If you haven’t showered in days and you are wearing wrinkled clothes picked from the hamper, and you feel like a homeless bum wearing it, you will be more hesitant to approach. You don’t have to wear expensive clothing, but when you step out the house, regardless of where you are going, assume that there will be a golden approach opportunity. Do you feel comfortable talking to a girl in what you are wearing?

I used to only shave on Friday mornings to prepare for going out on the weekends. But then when I would step out on the following Wednesday or Thursday, looking scraggly and not my best (in my mind), I created a situation where it was unlikely I would approach. Looking mediocre except for the weekend meant I was walking out the door five days a week mentally prepared to do nothing. I was needlessly increasing the "activation energy" to approach. Activation energy is a well-understood biochemistry concept. One of the first things a biochemist learns is how a chemical reaction occurs in the body. Your genome codes for thousands of enzymes, which act as catalysts to promote reactions that otherwise wouldn’t happen on their own. Enzymes make things happen. For any chemical reaction to take place, it must get over this hump called the activation energy, which is a natural barrier that prevents the original substance from converting to the final product. Getting over this hump is like pushing a rock over a hill―once it passes the top, gravity takes over and it rolls down with ease. Think of approaching women as a chemical reaction with this big activation energy. The enzyme is your brain, full of knowledge, and as time goes on, experience. As you build confidence and become capable, you lower the activation energy, turning the approach from something that never happens on its own to something that happens regularly. One way to lower the activation energy is to go out with a look that you feel comfortable in. Each change that makes you feel more comfortable and confident is probably not that significant on its own, but they all have the cumulative effect of helping to push you over that hill. If this barrier to approach didn’t exist, every guy would approach every cute girl he sees.

Venues

While some venues are easier to approach than others, women can be approached anywhere. There are no rules that tell you where you can or cannot game, but when starting out you will probably do most of your approaches in bars or clubs because that’s where a large number of women tend to congregate. Bars and clubs are loud, smoky, and artificial, but they offer the most opportunity for practice. There are not many other places I can go to that has a dozen or two attractive women I can approach. Bars will be a better bet for you until you get decent at dancing because clubs are louder and the girls there are more concerned with appearances. While you probably won’t meet your dream girl in a bar or club, you will gain enough experience in these venues to be more prepared when you do meet her elsewhere. There is a question of whether or not you should drink alcohol. You can run game while completely sober in a bar without problems, but chances are you will find your intoxicated targets to be intolerable or they will find your sobriety weird. As long as you don’t use alcohol as a crutch to talk to girls, do what you feel most comfortable with. In general, it does help to be on the same level of inebriation as the girl you are talking to. That means if you are not drinking, you may want to talk to the designated driver instead of the birthday girl who is about to pass out.

Two possible venues are bookstores and coffee shops. Every time I go into one there are maybe one or two girls whom I consider attractive. If she isn’t surrounded by her friends or a study group, she is probably wearing headphones, immersed in her studies, or far away from my table. While I wouldn’t recommend you take time out of your day to hit a bookstore to meet women, there is value if you already frequent these places. The key to these venues is proper positioning: if you are one table over to the girl you want to talk to, or better yet if you are sharing her table, there is a significant chance of something happening if you open. Openers, an initial line you use to start a conversation, will come naturally here because she is probably reading a book or working on something that you can comment on. There’s the Internet, which I don’t recommend, even for practice. It is very rare that trolling on dating or social networking sites will lead to anything besides wasted time. Internet pick-up turns you into a copy-and-paste monkey, where your skill lies in knowing how to blast dozens of messages in the hope of a single response. While men do get laid from the Internet, it is often from low quality women. If you were a desirable girl with value that many men wanted, why would you put up an Internet profile? The kind of woman who hangs around dating sites are ones who have trouble cracking it in a real social scene and would rather sit on some comfortable chair and click through hundreds of emails from horny men. The Internet gives them attention and validation without having to leave the house or take any risk. And with the disproportional amount of guys on these dating web sites, your message and picture will be lost in a sea of desperate men. There’s house parties. Parties will serve you best because a girl’s guard will be low as she is in the company of people she knows and trusts. When you approach here, girls will go out of their way to be nice even if they are not interested at first. Keeping conversation going is often easier too because your background or friends will be similar.

Always pick a house party over a bar, even if it’s a small one, because your odds will be more favorable. There’s organized settings. Things like wine festivals, music concerts, sporting contests, art festivals, dance classes, and fitness classes will all have women. These venues work similar to bookstores and coffee shops where good positioning is important. If you are in a speed-bike class, being on the bike next to the girl you like is better than being several over. While luck plays a part in positioning, it’s still up to you to open her. If you’re at a venue that is an extension of your hobby, chances are conversations will be easier since you already have something in common you can talk about at length. There’s the classroom. I wish I was in college again with what I know now. I would sit next to the hottest girl and start a casual conversation related to the class. Not only do you have something in common but you have a great excuse to take it outside of the classroom―"to study," where you can really game her. There’s the gym. The gym, while usually a sausage fest, could be a great place to meet fit girls. If you like to take it easy in the gym while talking to your friends, approaching may be a natural extension of what you normally do. But if you work out hard and regularly drown in a sea of your own disgusting sweat, changing gears to focus on approaching may be difficult. There’s the mall. While this is the last place I would go to meet women, you may live in a place where the mall is your only option. Under the guise of shopping for a female relative, you prowl stores asking female salespeople and girl shoppers for their opinion on various products Then there’s everything else: airplanes and airports, buses, subways, outdoor park, restaurants, and even the street. Wherever women are, it is possible to approach them. The only limits to where you meet women exist in your head. I remember one time I got the number of a 17-year-old girl walking with a pizza while I sat in the passenger side of my friends car. When it comes to finding girls, being creative is important because every man lives in a different environment. You may not live in a big city with a couple hundred bars, but you do have that old town center where there are crowded weekend concerts. The main idea is to go where the women are and figure out the best way to approach them through experimentation. To get you started, I’m going to share with you the best ways to approach for the most common venues.

The Approach

It would make sense if I said that you should take baby-steps before you start approaching. First you should learn how to make eye contact with women. Then you should add a smile. Then you should practice saying "Hi." And while you’re at it, you should train yourself to be an outgoing people-person by chatting up random strangers in line with you at the convenience store. But I think all of that is a waste of time. You’ve probably been living in a nice social comfort zone for your entire life―there is little point to continue that by taking it safe and easy. You must dive right in and shock your system today. The next woman you talk to is one you want to have sex with, not one you want to simply practice conversation on. This strategy ensures that there will be no unnecessary lag until your first success, where you waste time on side missions that give you little preparation for the real thing. It starts now.

When you are first starting out, it is best to approach women who are not already connected to your life, so girls from work or in your social circle should be avoided for now. Fail with them and gossip ensures that everyone you know finds out about your attempt, something that may be traumatizing for a new student of the game. When I made my first few approaches, I had little idea and no practice on how to interact with a new girl, build attraction, or close, but I ended up talking to girls for an extended period of time and getting numbers based on what I already knew as a man. When you want to get into a girls pants and your intent is strong, you come up with ways in real time to keep the interaction going even though later on you may laugh at your attempt. You don’t need to be a game expert to get laid. You don’t need to master everything in this book to start approaching girls. All you need is a little bit of knowledge and the strong desire to succeed.

Realize that there will never be a perfect moment to approach. The idea of a "perfect moment" is a belief held by guys who never approach. If you sit there and wait until the moment is right, you only end up psyching yourself out while her group gets larger, the situation gets more complicated, or she ends up leaving. There is zero benefit to waiting more than five seconds when you spot a girl, unless she is running to the bathroom with her hands over her mouth. As Teddy Roosevelt said, "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." I approach girls who just walk into bars, are on their way to the bathroom, or are fighting through a crowd to get a drink. When you see a girl you like, pick the opener you want to use, go up to her, and deliver it. Even if your mind is completely blank, just say "Hey" because there is a chance she will help you out with conversation. Some guys have the belief that girls don’t want to be approached, but it shouldn’t be up to her what you decide to do. If you like her, you go up to her and put in an attempt. What she thinks really doesn’t matter. An actual approach takes only a few seconds. You see a girl you like, maneuver close to her, and then deliver your opening line. When it comes to learning how to approach, success is not measured by whether you are able to get a conversation going, but whether you approach or not. It’s the attempt that is much more important than the result. Just say the words. In the grand scheme of things, no one approach is going to break you. Each one is just a drop in the bucket, so don’t let a tough rejection get you down or detour you from your final goal.

To open, simply walk up to a girl, stop two feet away from her, look in her eyes, and say the line. She will see you as you walk towards her and expect you to say something once you stop. Your body should face her at a slight glancing angle to show that she still needs to prove herself before you give her your complete attention. If you are planted and she is walking by you, make eye contact and deliver the line as she is still moving, understanding that it may take a second or two for her to realize you are talking to her. In both cases, speak loudly. Many times a girl seems to ignore you not because she was trying to snub you but because she didn’t hear you or didn’t know you were talking to her. In clubs, I practically have to yell the opener. You want to speak loud enough so that there is zero doubt in her mind that you are talking to her. There are two multi-purpose openers that you can use almost anywhere. The first: "Hey. You look like you are having the most fun here out of anyone." When used in a bar or club, it is said with enthusiastic sarcasm to match the mood of the venue. When said everywhere else, it is said with relaxed sarcasm, unless she really is having lots of fun then you can just say it straight. In both instances you crack a very slight smirk to let her know that you are being sarcastic. Say the "Hey" with a healthy volume to get her attention so that she makes eye contact with you. Once she does make eye contact, deliver the rest of the line. She will respond back with laughter or something simple like "Really?" or "I know, I am!" She is now opened. The reason this line works well is because you are joking that she appears boring, so you the interaction often starts with her qualifying herself to you. (By "qualifying herself" I mean she is explaining or rationalizing a perceived flaw.) The advantages of this opener are that it is very easy to deliver and doesn’t need adjustment based on where you are. The disadvantage is that you still need something else to continue conversation. When you are opening a group of girls, simply add the word "guys." Say, "Hey guys, you look like you are having the most fun here out of anyone." Again, I must stress to get your volume up there to make sure they all hear it―you don’t want the conversation to start with "What did you say?" When I use this opener, I either follow by making a comment about our shared environment or something situational, or I stack another opener after it, such as this second one.

The second opener: "Hey. Let me guess. You are from ________." Like in the previous opener, you also wait until eye contact is established before continuing after the "Hey." Make sure you do a dramatic two second pause after you say "Let me guess." Feel free to add a slight squint as if you are thinking. Here you are going to guess where she is from, whether it be a city, state, or country. I like using this opener on girls who are obviously not American because you dive into a guessing game of what country she is from. It’s win-win for you because if you get her country wrong then she usually wants you to keep guessing, continuing the interaction, and if you get it right then she is impressed and asks you how you knew. To double my chances of getting her country right, I cheat a little with something like, "You are either from Argentina or Mexico." Even with girls who are not ethnic and just white, this opener still works well: just guess that they are half German or Norwegian. There is a good chance her ancestor will be from somewhere in Europe. And then for girls who are acting snobby, show that you are not impressed with their demeanor by guessing they are from a place like Romania or West Virginia. As long as a girl doesn’t blow you off after you say "Hey," this opener leads to conversation. If your girl is in a group then say either, "Hey, let me guess… you guys are from Argentina," or, "You guys are from Argentina and Colombia," or, "I have a feeling that at least one of you is from Argentina." This opener works because of the guessing component, so it can easily be modified to start a conversation about almost anything. For instance if you see a girl writing in a bookstore, you can say, "Let me guess. You are writing the next great American novel?"

If you are at a music concert you can say, "Let me guess. You have been a fan since before they became big?" You can tone down the initial phrasing of this opener if you are in a more relaxed venue. In a coffee shop I’d say, "Hey, I’m just curious… are you from Argentina?"

Can you see yourself saying these lines to girls? A monkey could do this! While they are powerful, even the best opener is not going to work all the time, but these two are the most effective openers I’ve used. Not coincidentally, they are also the simplest. As for which one to use in certain situations, you can’t go wrong with either. These openers take away the "What am I going to say?" excuse that prevents so many guys from talking to a girl they like. Even if you completely freeze after the opener, the fact that you opened and made yourself a presence in her world dramatically increases your chance of getting something.

Understand: a successful opener only serves to start an openended conversation. They don’t have to be lengthy or complicated. I prefer short and simple openers as my heavy guns because they are more genuine and easy to deliver. If you need to spend time memorizing your opener, then what you have is a routine, which will be discussed later.

A very important type of opener is the environmental opener. This is when your opener is based on something in the surrounding environment. They take improvisational skill to come up with but open better than their scripted counterparts because they have a very natural feel. Often times you will be somewhere and have thoughts to yourself about what you are seeing or experiencing. All you have to do is use that to open a girl near you. For example, one night I was riding in a quiet subway car when a drunk man started singing to himself. I looked over the girl next to me and said, "I think everyone here needs some of what he’s having." I ended up getting her number. Another example was at a wine festival where I was sampling a wine and sarcastically told a girl, "This is the best wine I have ever tasted in my life!" Asking about something unusual or unique she has on with

"What does that mean?" is also very effective. These openers work because they describe her current reality. I end up saying stupid things all the time but as long as a conversation results, my opener is a success. The bar for environmental openers are much lower than for scripted openers―they can be far from perfect and still be very effective. But even if you can’t think of one, you have the two scripted openers to use.

There are some additional bar openers worth mentioning. The first makes fun of the nightlife scene where people try hard to be cool. It works on girls who are standing alone or in large groups. Say, "Hey, I was wondering if you can help me out. My friends and I are looking for the best spot here where we can pose." Whenever you are dealing with more than one girl, say "Hey guys" instead of "Hey." Unless she is walking past you, always wait for eye contact acknowledgement before continuing the line. They will ask you to clarify and you’re going to repeat "to pose" until they get it. Then add, "Yeah, because I’ve been working out a lot at the gym. And I just wanted girls to be able to see my new muscles." This is when a slight smirk develops on your face and the girls let out a laugh because they get your joke. This opener allows you to go into conversation about the things guys and girls do in clubs to get attention and win approval from others. A close variant to this opener is when you use dancing instead of posing: "Do you know the best spot here where me and my friend can dance, a place where the lighting is good? My friend is a club dancer and he needs a good spot to show off his moves." You can add: "And I’ve been practicing a little bit in front of the mirror myself." Once the joke is over and a humorous opener plays itself out, say, "All kidding aside," and then follow with the "Let me guess" opener (which technically would not be an opener now), or the female opinion routine described shortly. Running openers or routines in sequential order is called "stacking."

Another bar opener you can use is when a girl accidently touches you in a crowded bar, a very common occurrence. Say, "Excuse me, but you touched my back. I really need a lot of personal space." They will often respond with a sarcastic apology. Follow with a scripted opener. When you are at a bar trying to get a drink and a cute girl is next to you trying to get one too, say, "I bet you I can get a drink faster than you can!" When a girl is trying to squeeze in next to you at the bar you can say, "Sorry this is my bar space―there is no room for you right now. I need a lot of space." These openers are silly but they are very effective at breaking the ice. It’s hard to go wrong with humor, though for a split second you want her to think you are serious until you crack a slight smirk. When I was first studying the game I had dozens of openers organized in a spreadsheet. But it made approaching so complex that I actually approached less. I would sit there and stare at a girl, wondering which opener was best for the particular situation. As a result I wouldn’t do anything. At this point you have two default openers that work well in most cases, the concept of the environmental opener that lets you be open anywhere you have a unique thought or opinion, and a handful of fun bar openers. That’s all you need! It’s best to keep it simple because too many options lead to paralysis.

Approach Logistics

There are other approach details you need to know besides speaking. The first is positioning. She could be alone, with friends, in a circle, in a semi-circle, facing outward, sitting on a bar stool, sitting at a table, or dancing. The perfect setup for you will be a girl, alone, standing next to the bar facing outward, smiling as you come into her view. That said, the perfect setup never happens. You will always have to do some maneuvering to place yourself in the position to approach and talk to her. The typical scenario you will face is your target talking to one or two girlfriends. If she is just with one other friend then you will have to address them both until someone else comes into the picture. (If I don’t have a friend around, I will eventually befriend a random guy to occupy the friend of my target.) Don’t let a single guy in a group of girls stop you from approaching because chances are he’s trying to bang one of the girls and would welcome another male to distract the friends. Just use your usual opener and include him in the conversation so he doesn’t get insecure and try to blow you off. If you treat the guy with respect, there is a very high chance that he will treat you with respect as well, and even assist you. In groups with guys, ask how everyone knows each other. If she happens to say something like, "And my boyfriend is over there," then you may either want to move onto her friend or politely eject. Even if the group has all girls, go ahead and ask it because they may tell you something about their background that you can use later, like a shared school or city.

Approaching a girl sitting down is tougher. Other than the walk of shame you have to perform if you fail, the fact that you are standing while she is sitting down and relaxed gives her more power than you. Regardless, deliver your standard opener like you normally would. If the interaction continues and she is giving you a positive signal by asking you questions, do a "false time constraint," one of the oldest tricks in the book. You pull up a chair, sit down, then say "I can only sit down for a minute." Then you continue the conversation like nothing happened. It will be very clear if she didn’t want you to sit down because she will shut down and stop talking to you. No big deal, just say goodbye, smile, and walk away. Under no circumstance do you ask if you can sit down. Sitting down is important because approaches in which you are standing up and she’s not have a life-span of less than 5 minutes.

Once you start talking to her, avoid the common mistakes: too much smiling when something funny wasn’t said, too much bending over when it’s not loud, and too many fast movements due to being nervous and excited. These signs indicate to a girl that the guy probably doesn’t have a lot of experience and is overly happy to be talking to her. If you find yourself doing these behaviors, slow things down and lean farther back. Not only does this act as a way for your to dissociate yourself from the interaction, but it displays the correct "I don’t care" body language. (Humans tend to go towards a person who is pulling away from them, whether it be with body language or emotions.) There will be a lot of situations with no textbook answer available to guide you. For instance, what if you are going upstairs and you see a really cute girl coming downstairs? Do you get in her way or do you make a U-turn and start stalking her? (I get in her way and playfully accuse her of going down the wrong side of the stairs.) Or how about if you approach a group of girls and the one you don’t like is chatting you up the most? Do you continue talking with her in the hopes of incorporating yourself into the group or do you shut her down early and move onto your target? (I talk to her for no more than a minute until I ask the girl I like a question that starts a new conversation). The best way to deal with the hundreds of possible situations that occur in a pick-up is to do something and then take note of the result. If the result was not favorable, try something different next time. This willingness to experiment will quickly get you up to speed with situations that happen most frequently. It is through experimentation where you discover a style of game that works best for you. One night I tried to do a little experiment with one-word openers in a large club. I stuck with a simple "Hey" or "Hi" and tried only those for the entire night. For a reason that is still not clear to me, I learned that "Hey" did a much better job than "Hi" at stopping girls and getting their attention. I run a different experiment almost every night I go out, just to see what happens and to discover the style that works best for me. It’s very possible that you are so different from me that "Hi" will actually work better than "Hey," but there is no way for you to find out unless you try them both on your own. The only time I keep experimentation to a minimum is when it counts―when I am gaming a girl that I consider above the rest. Then it’s best to use the game I already know works. If you see a girl you like and think about approaching her, you must do it, no matter how difficult or unnatural the situation may appear, even if you feel nervous and know you are going to bomb. I often find myself in a coffee shop where there is a tough approach at the table next to me. Even if I’m not in the mood and think the odds of success approach zero, I still make myself do it. Not only does this eliminate your fear of approaching over time, but it also teaches you how to deal with tough situations. It is not going to be common that a girl you like is going to be standing alone in a place without distraction where everyone knows your name. Instead she is going to be surrounded by factors that make it difficult for you, and the sooner you harden your mind to deal with these situations, the faster you will get better at them.

Before I talk about how to build attraction after the opener, I’m going to take a detour and first discuss what attitude, or vibe, girls find most attractive.

The Vibe

There is an optimal vibe to possess that attracts most women, one that is very effective at hitting their attraction buttons. No matter what you look like or what game style you implement, it gives you the most bang for your time and energy buck, eliminating the need to make game adjustments for different types of girls. It’s what you see in many successful players. Let’s call it "The Vibe."

Men with The Vibe appreciate and value life. This appreciation leads to desirable qualities that women find attractive, such as acceptance of who you are. You look at the big picture and become indifferent to life’s trivial nature. You’re in control of your emotions and do not let any one person or event break you down. If you believe that your time here on Earth is limited and your destiny is what you create, it is impossible to treat approaching and dating and banging as more than a fun diversion to entertain yourself with. When something doesn’t go your way, you respond with humor and wit instead of anger and emotion. You understand that your energy is better suited for the big battles, for the job layoffs and the family deaths, not rejections from strangers. You are a surfer riding a wave, adapting to the wave’s energy instead of fighting it. You adjust to your environment, getting the most out of the situations you face, whether you are riding small East Coasters or the monsters of Hawaii. Emotional control is the most important component of The Vibe. With it, your intellect and logic will always be dominant over the more primitive areas of your brain to better enable you to solve problems and make rapid adjustments. It is hard to make the strategic decisions required of the game if you get easily upset or angry. You don’t have a deep concern over the interactions you have with women (if you are doing things "right" or not) because you know this one interaction does not determine your value as a human being. Indirectly, having emotional control shows you are not needy. You don’t cling to a girl early on when you have your emotions in check. You show that you are not counting on any one person or event for your happiness. Women you meet will play their games and wonder why you aren’t reacting like all the other guys. In the process of trying to get you to react and respond, she gives you enough attention needed for you to tighten the attraction hold and move things forward. Appreciating life means you are more likely to spend your free time educating yourself with books, travel, and unique experiences. As a result, you will always have something interesting to say when you meet a new girl. A desire to becoming more cultured and mentally sharp gives you an unlimited supply of topics you can discuss with intelligence and wisdom, a quality that women find attractive. You don’t ask the same boring questions that all other guys ask because you understand that to be an interesting person you need to say interesting things, and to say interesting things you need to experience them firsthand.

Another result of appreciating life is that you place high value on your time. You do not waste it with people who are not fulfilling your needs. You are choosy about the friends you hang out with and the women you date. You have no problem walking away from a girl who is not your type, whether it be three minutes or three months into the interaction. You know what quality is and you feel you deserve to have it in your life. A girl is lucky you selected her to hang out with you because you will give her the best of what your personality and experiences have to offer. While it’s okay to have fun in the bar and talk to average girls for fun and practice, you commit the bulk of your time and energy to girls who are worth it. Selecting for quality displays that you are quality. A final component of The Vibe is having a playful nature. It is present in people who have the ability to quickly develop connections with others. Being playful with a sense of humor attracts girls like a magnet because of the positive atmosphere it creates. While you do not want to be a clown, understand that playfulness is an extremely effective human bonding technique. Your sense of humor can be dry, sharp, or sarcastic, as long as it accurately describes or pokes fun of the world we live in. Being playful doesn’t mean you have to be loud and attention-seeking―it means you put a fun spin on all types of situations you find yourself in. The Vibe uses a strategy to build attraction using your personality instead of factors like status, looks, and money. Even if you possess those things it is still best to use personality to attract women because it offers a stronger hook to catch less superficial women. There is always going to be another guy with higher status, better looks, or more money than you, but the odds he will have your same awesome personality are miniscule. Three years after getting into the game, I had my shit together. I had a successful career and lived in a large house in a good neighborhood; I had a motorcycle and bartended part-time at an upscale venue; I had a respectable, brand-name wardrobe; and I just ended a short but successful club DJ career. When I met a new girl, I would not-so-casually tell her how cool I was by bringing up my motorcycle, my bartending gig, and my experience as a DJ. On paper I thought I had all the cool qualities a girl needed, but I proceeded to have the worst slump since getting into the game. The reason was because I stopped using my personality to attract girls―I was using accomplishments or status instead to try to impress her like every other guy. After I realized what I was doing, I went back to depending on The Vibe and started withholding information about myself so she would have to dig to find out more. I went back to being an interesting, mysterious character instead of another guy who owns a sportbike. You must resist the temptation to brag about all the qualities you think are positive. It’s much better if she finds out on her own and wonders what else could be buried inside. Be like a Russian doll, with layers upon layers of substance. By the time she has sex with you, she will only know maybe less than half of all your positive qualities. As time goes on and she learns more, she will get even more hooked onto you because you did not blurt out your positive qualities in a fast and obvious attempt to impress her when you first met. The Vibe possesses qualities that are indirectly communicated to the girls you meet. In other words, it is subcommunicated through exposure to your words and body language. You never say that you value your time or are playful―it becomes a part of your essence that leaks out to those who interact with you. For example, men who value their time tend to be selective with girls they choose to spend time with. This attitude manifests itself in words when he says things to girls like, "You’re pretty weird," or, "You’re too old for me," without conscious effort on his part. It just comes out―and she will be more into him as a result. Instead of teaching you a hundred different lines, it’s more effective to teach you the mindset that produces them. Once you have mastered this mindset, talking to girls will be easier, and more of them will be interested in you.

Conversation, Themes, And Threads

One of the biggest problems guys have is running out of things to say after the approach. This is a real problem because a prolonged silence less than thirty minutes into the conversation is almost certainly death. I know if I pause for longer than ten seconds during those initial thirty minutes, the pick-up will die. The good news is that later on in the night and on the first date and after, silences are not only accepted but welcome; they display that you are not trying too hard to please her. But this is well after she has decided she wants to spend time with you. There are two reasons why silence early on is bad. First, girls don’t have many things to say to people they are not sure about. Until she feels attraction for you, she won’t feel the need to work through an awkward silence. Second, most girls believe that if two people have instant chemistry, there is no reason to run out of things to say right after meeting. To her, both of you should be tripping over each other in deep conversation. While instant chemistry does happen, most of the time you will grow on her after a period of time. Therefore, you will be doing more than 70% of the talking for at least thirty minutes after the approach. Once she becomes comfortable with you and decides that she is interested, there will be less pressure to come up with things to say.

This early-stage conversation may seem random to an eavesdropping spectator, but it is actually structured and highly organized because you have a goal and an accompanying strategy in the form of The Vibe, tested material, and soon, specific moves that escalate the encounter. The tested material will be in the form of routines that are very effective at building attraction. No matter how smart or interesting of a guy you are, it is impossible to speak for those first thirty minutes without messing up, saying something stupid, or going into a completely lame topic. Luckily, girls will give you a pass on many of the foolish things you will say. They understand that not every sentence that comes out of your mouth has to be a blockbuster, but if you continue to bomb you will be booed off the stage.

When you first start talking to a new girl, you may be so pumped that you talk fast, interrupt her, and disregard things she has said because you had another line or statement in queue. You’ll have the urge to say things already marinated in your head even though the conversation is going somewhere else. Resist that temptation because it leads to choppy, disconnected conversation. Realize that the more she talks, the better, because she will give you ideas and material to continue even further. Talk at a normal, relaxed pace, like you would to a close buddy.

An entire conversation will have many threads within it―topics that often lead to other topics. Threads promote natural conversation because you can easily hop around without getting stuck on a path that leads to a dead-end. The conversation you have from using them are created on-the-fly based on the direction and energy of the interaction. Even though you will use the same thread repeatedly on different girls, there is no need to memorize their delivery word-for-word. Conversation threads can be categorized into themes. The first theme is people, which includes conversation about you, her, others, or groups. It concerns appearances, trends, rumors, gossip, and observations (people watching). For instance you can gently tease her, without making fun of her, about something she is wearing or something that is unique to her look. Example: "I noticed your shoes match your shirt. I think you did that on purpose." She will say she did. Your response, "I understand because it took me forever to match my outfit." Go on to give your thoughts about how people look in the environment you are both in and the patterns you’ve noticed. If she’s wearing a large, unique necklace, say, "Have you noticed that the things people are wearing on their necks are getting larger and larger?" Throw in a Flavor Flav reference and how he pioneered large neck jewelry. It’s okay to talk about clothing as long as you show basic fashion knowledge (if you start dropping words like "couture," the girl may think you are a homosexual.) I like going into a spiel about my four-year-old jeans and how the holes are "natural" and "cannot be duplicated."

Rumors and gossip are related threads that fall within the people theme. Take advantage of a girl’s addiction to both by using them in conversation. Example: "There is a rumor going around that you don’t like my shirt. Is that true? My mom helped me pick it out." Or point to the poorest looking guy in the place and say, "You see that guy over there. He’s the owner. He doesn’t look like it, does he?" Your friends are a great source to fabricate fun tales. My favorite: "My friend right here used to be a club dancer. He used to dance in those cages suspended from the ceiling. Not many people know this but he regularly wore costumes with feathers."

People watching is another thread you can use. Simply point out a couple and say, "What do you think about these two. Do you think they are friends, or more?" After she gives you her opinion, give yours with interesting analysis. Example: "They are definitely friends because their faces are more than sixteen inches apart, which according to psychologists is the intimacy threshold." Or say, "They are definitely going out because he appears to actually be listening to her."

The next theme is current state. You make fun observations or pose interesting questions about the current environment you both are currently sharing. If you are at a bar, say, "I really like how this loud bar makes it so easy for us to connect. Through the smoke, distractions, and loud music, our bond can’t be broken." Add, "It’s ironic that the place most people meet others in is a place where it is the hardest to do so." Maybe throw in your idea for the ideal way to meet someone that involves little pieces of paper that asks "Do you like me?" with answers, "Yes," "No," and "Maybe." If a girl looks a little bored, say, "If you’re not having a good time then I recommend you get on the bar and dance. Any time I see a girl dancing on the bar, she looks pretty happy. But it doesn’t work for me." If you are in a snobby environment say, "God this bar scene is so fake. Everyone is just about appearances and possessions. So what kind of car do you drive?" Another: "I’d dance but I don’t want to make everyone jealous of my skills. I’m not trying to brag or anything but I’m pretty good." Another: "I thought I’d get a private table with bottles of Grey Goose, but I think I’m going to keep it low-key tonight and mingle with the commoners." Another: "I hope this is a good place where I can find an older woman to wine and dine me and take me on vacation." Another:

"Hmmm the music here is kind of lame. I hope they put on some Madonna soon." Additional current state themes include talking about how the location reminds you of something else. If you are at a coffee shop say, "I only come here because people watching motivates me to work. At home I can’t get anything done." If you are on public transportation, say, "Doesn’t it look like everyone here is really sad? It’s like people make the effort to look mean or upset so no one talks to them." Do not ask a girl if she comes to a certain place often because it’s too cliché. If you are really curious, say, "I don’t think I’ve seen you here before." These types of statements have the potential to create interesting conversation, as long as both of you have opinions relating to that statement. They make it easy for her to talk. Things you observe about life and specific environments usually make for great threads. Threads about travel are highly recommended because they allow you to go into stories that reveal amazing things you’ve experienced. And it doesn’t have to be international travel―you can have just visited one city over and tell her something interesting you’ve observed. The basic formula for beginning travel threads is, "I was recently at _______," followed by a short anecdote. For example, "I was recently at this bar in Barcelona, and there was a main floor where everyone danced, and then a small room upstairs that only had men. It was so small that they were touching and grinding on each other. It was interesting." Or, "I was recently at this bar in York, Pennsylvania, where I learned to really appreciate the scene we have here." Then I went into the scene differences. You can also go into travel experiences with, "That/this reminds me of the time I was in _______." Another travel thread: "I read that over 98% of Americans don’t have a passport. I was pretty surprised because as the richest country in the world, you’d think that most people here would be interested in learning about other cultures." What’s great about a line like this is that it qualifies her―if she hasn’t traveled recently then her value decreases compared to yours. Travel threads work very well on girls who are adventurous and travel themselves.

The future theme is my personal favorite. Here you can be creative and really get her imagination going. Plus it’s more exciting than talking about the present, which is probably both of you wage-slaving away in some cubicle. I have an anti-corporation routine I use often:

"I’ve been working for six years and while I like my job, I’m really curious on what else is out there. I don’t want to be 70-years-old and on my death bed, wondering how my life would have been if I didn’t take a chance." Maybe you want to start an interesting business or do something creative like paint or write. These are great things to tell a girl because it shows you have a passion that you are working on, that you aren’t someone who just fills spare time with expensive, meaningless hobbies. Bring these up in a casual way that fits naturally in the conversation. A heavy but thought-provoking question I like to throw out after I talk about my plans is, "So what do you plan on doing with your life?" When it is obvious that you are both single, say, "I prefer a fantasy relationship like I see in movies instead of one where I have to, you know, sacrifice. I don’t know anyone who wants to sacrifice in relationships anymore." By now you’ve probably noticed I like asking questions or bringing up topics that stir up a little insecurity or doubt. This is because I want her to focus on her flaws and problems instead of my own. She’s on stage being evaluated, not me, increasing the likelihood she will do things to impress me. Then we have the qualification theme. The threads here will be about her and whether she is capable in a way that you desire. You won’t come out and say, "So do you possess the qualities I want in a woman?"―but you will insinuate it. She will assume you are selective and know what you want. Ask her if she cooks. I say, "I had a female roommate once and she was great at cooking frozen chicken nuggets but nothing else." If she can’t cook and you love home-cooked meals, say "Minus a million points!" as if you are keeping a running tally of her worth. Change cooking with a skill that is important to you. If you are an artist you can ask her if she draws. An important one for me is if she takes care of her body. I asks girls if they go to the gym, and almost all of them, regardless of weight, says yes. Then I dive into a fun bit where I ask her to flex. She will flex her bicep and I gently squeeze it to size up her muscle. Then I say, "Okay go ahead flex… any time now." Since she is already flexing, the joke is that her muscle is too small. (Credit goes to famous pick-up artist Mystery who I think came up with it first.) Then I flex for her and tell her how I dominate in the gym and scare little children. Feel free to add, "Actually I got so big that I had to stop going for a while." This works especially well if you are not huge. Then you have threads where you peg her on something that is not entirely favorable. "You seem like the kind of girl who likes reality television. Am I right?" I add, "I don’t watch TV anymore. I’ve weaned myself off the glass teat," with a smile. The questions you ask will depend on what you want in a girl. Just like when a manager interviews you for a position and asks about your experience, you will ask a girl in a fun and indirect way about the qualities you desire. Ask her if she has them and then provide an interesting explanation about that quality. I also ask a girl where she lives because I’m not trying to spend hours on the road to date her. I would go into a story that longdistance relationships are a myth, like the yeti. If she grew up from a different city, state, or country than you, ask her about the differences she has noticed. It would be a good opportunity to explain what you like or don’t like about the city you two are sharing right now, which makes interesting conversation easy. Bring up qualification questions at about the 10-20 minute mark. They will have more impact if you’ve been talking a short while. Finally you have the screwball theme, where you throw out odd questions when the conversation is stalling despite your best attempts. Here you get a chance to experiment with exotic material that teaches you how women respond in atypical situations. Ask a girl what reasons she would attribute to the fall of the Roman Empire, adding "Well according to the movie Gladiator…." Ask, "What artistic period do you think best represented the humanity of man?" Ask her what "once in a blue moon" really means. If girls respond well to your screwball question, you may want to incorporate it into your standard game. These types of questions teach you to relax and not take the game so seriously.

I don’t recommend you talk about sex. Now you can still get laid by asking her questions about porno and her favorite sex positions, but I can’t help but shake something an old friend told me: "Those who talk about sex the most are the ones who get it the least." After you have sex with a girl I do recommend short exchanges where you tell her sexual things you like, but before that talking about it not going to help you. For all a girl knows, I’m a virgin who doesn’t even know what sex is. This is good news if you are sexually inexperienced because if you don’t bring it up, chances are she won’t either. Threads serve to help you keep the conversation going. Because conversations are not scripted or memorized, you will be going into approaches with just some ideas and key words of what to talk about. From that point you will need to use your brain to maintain interesting conversation in real time. These threads fill silences with material that builds attraction. While we want to naturally hop from one thread to the next, if you are facing a deadly silence then just blurt out whatever you have in your head. It’s okay to seem a little random for the sake of continuing the interaction. The guys who are fast learners at pick-up were already chatty beforehand. All they had to do was change a little bit of their content to optimize it for a different purpose and audience. If you aren’t chatty, you will need to get chatty because the game is more Night At The Im-prov than Swingers. Improvisational comedians never say the exact same thing twice, but they do go into their acts with a huge toolbox of staple jokes, facial expressions, and stock phrases. The only difference is their primary goal is to make people laugh while yours is to get laid. Even though most of the examples I’ve given you use humor, keep in mind their purpose is to hook her attention, make her laugh, and get ready for a conversation where you display value through your opinions, wit, and experience. Humor also helps us screen out girls who take themselves too seriously. Her failure to understand your humor is a shortcut that tells you when it’s time to move on to a girl who is more down-to-earth and open to your game. The threads I’ve shared so far have statements that you will be tempted to memorize, but even for me, they never come out the same way twice. They always change and evolve. Exceptions are scripted routines, which remain static because they are already well-optimized. If you have trouble remembering threads or routines you want to use, I recommend sending yourself a text message and locking it so it always stays in your inbox. No one will know what you are doing when you want to take a peek.

Routines

Routines are scripted material that are very effective at building attraction. Unlike conversation threads which are fluid and short, routines are longer, more static, and harder to deliver. In this section I will discuss two routines that are worth your time to study, ones that I have used hundreds of times. Additional routines that are best used on dates will be discussed later in the book. A popular routine that has been passed on since the turn of the century is the opinion opener. While many guys use it to open, I find that its effectiveness is maximized when used after the opener. The routine starts off with, "Hey I need a female opinion on something."

You ask your question and explain it thoroughly to allow for a rich answer. The impact of this opener is not the question, but the explanation you give where you display your humor and confidence. My default opinion concerns mustaches: "So I’m going to grow a mustache, and I know it’s going to be popular once I start the trend again, but I’m wondering what kind of mustache I should grow. Should it curl up or down?" The girl will laugh and tell me that I shouldn’t grow a mustache at all, and then I go on to say that a real man shouldn’t bring a razor to his face. Like usual, you say these humorous or sarcastic lines with a slight smirk. Pick a creative question that lets you go on about whatever it is you are asking. Another example of a fun opinion: "My friend has fallen on tough times and he is working for cleaning services at a local high school, and he doesn’t know how to bring it up to girls he meets. Should he lie?" You can add, "Would you date a school janitor if he had a great personality?" Playfully tease her if she hesitates with an answer. It’s okay if your opinion is not based on complete truth, but the more it relates to your life the more natural your delivery will be.

The next routine is the most powerful I have. It’s something I make sure to do with every girl I talk to because it hits each positive component of The Vibe. It’s the "I want to break up with you" routine. The best time to do this is about 5-10 minutes into the interaction when you have already established stable conversation. First, set up the routine by asking a question that shows how you and your target are different. Because I like cats and most girls like dogs, I ask a girl, out of the blue, "Do you like cats or dogs?" If she likes cats like me, I postpone the routine. But if she says dogs (most do), I appear disappointed and say, "Oh, really. That’s not good because I really like cats." Then I begin the routine: "I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I don’t think it’s going to work out between us… we’re going to have to break up." Have a disappointed look on your face. The average response will be laughter, but sometimes the girl starts role-playing as your newly-dumped girlfriend. She will say, "Oh no how am I going to go on with life?" Continue: "I know it will be very hard for you to move on because it will be impossible to find a guy like me, but I’m sure as the years go by, there may be a guy who is almost like me." Another thing you can say is, "I know we had a lot of good times together, so this really wasn’t an easy decision, but I know for me it’s the right thing to do." Then once you’ve passed the role-playing peak, hit her with the good news: "But then there’s the good news. Yesterday I saved a lot of money on my car insurance." If any one routine defines my game, this one is it ― optimized over years of practice. I cannot stress how important it is to include this routine in your game. If both of you like the same animal then you have to manufacture a quality where there is a difference in preference. Sometimes I use her age if we are more than a couple years apart. It doesn’t matter much what quality you use because you just want a plausible segue to get the routine going. You can also launch into this routine after asking her one of your qualification questions from earlier (e.g. "Can you cook?"). You may have an initial resistance to using scripted material, but chances are you’re using them already. If you’ve ever told a story more than once, you are telling a routine, a conversational piece that you know your audience will positively respond to. If you’ve ever repeated an opinion of yours with the same backing evidence, you’ve told a routine. Openers and routines come together to form a conversation that girls enjoy. You are giving them what they want: fun vibes from an interesting guy. The only problem with repeating the same thing over and over again is that you tend to go from telling to reciting―you begin to talk faster and limit eye contact while you stare off in space and speak from memory. As long as you keep your speech pace at a normal rate and maintain eye contact at all times, there is a very low probability that she will ever think you are using lines on her. And even if she does, as long as she is enjoying your company, she won’t care.

In threads and routines you will be saying a lot of funny things, but whatever you do, don’t laugh at your own jokes. The single unifying trait of lame men everywhere is that they laugh at their own jokes regardless of whether their audience thought it was funny or not. It’s a sign of insecurity. If you say a joke and the girl doesn’t laugh, then you shouldn’t laugh. Do not keep repeating jokes or sayings that people don’t respond to, a strong hint to drop it from your repertoire. Once you understand the structure of a good routine, you can create them on your own. A custom routine first has to start with an observation or realization about a topic that girls understand. For instance, let’s say I noticed girls look very attractive when the bar lights are turned down low and I wanted to see if this would be a good topic to introduce into my game. First, I would relay my observation to her in the form of a question. Then, after allowing her to respond, I would give explanation with added detail, humor, or story-telling. Example:

"I’ve been to a lot of bars and clubs in the area and have noted all the ones with the least amount of light. So what I do is only go to the dark ones so I can be surrounded by the most beautiful people in the world. It’s like I’m back in Italy. The only problem is if you meet someone in the dark, you have to only hang out in places that are dark as well."

Here I imply I am well-traveled, knowledgeable of the scene, and aware of female attractiveness. Routines are an indirect, non-bragging way to tell her how awesome you are. After I construct a new routine, I would try it out a few times and note if girls respond positively. Does the routine result in interesting conversation that flows? Is it easy to jump off this routine onto other topics? If so, I’ll add it to my routine collection. Otherwise I will drop it and experiment with another one. It’s great when you come up with a blockbuster routine that makes her cry from laughter, but a routine’s purpose is also to keep the conversation going, build attraction, and serve as a vehicle to share your opinions, wit, and humor. Some of your routines should be sedate, or else a nonstop barrage of exciting routines may cause her to see you as a performer. Pretend you are like a DJ who throws in a crappy song every now and then to make the good songs seem really good by comparison.

Routines are a necessary component of your game because they display your value while filling in those first 30 minutes. Soon you will speak in routine form because it is the most optimal way to present ideas, opinions, and stories.

Compliments And Insults

None of the material I’ve discussed so far contains direct compliments. There is a time and place for simple compliments like "You look nice tonight" on dates when her interest in you is obvious, but compliments early-on are difficult to implement without appearing beta or too nice. This is especially true with regard to her looks. Never tell a girl that she is beautiful or hot, because what that does is increase her value relative to yours, unless you happen to be more handsome than she is beautiful. Not complimenting will help you because you are withholding a reward that all women want, one that they will stick around waiting for. As an extension to not complimenting a girl, do not discuss your feelings of emotion or attraction for her. Never tell a girl you like her or feel something for her. Beta males have a serious problem with telling their lady friends that they like them more than a friend even though they know nothing good can come out of it. Only in movies will discussing your feelings ever get the desirable female. We don’t use direct game where we walk up to a girl and tell her she is beautiful. We use indirect game without compliments where she is never completely sure about our feelings for her. She is always forced to interpret our words instead of being certain that she has our affections. You are not hiding anything―you are just being mysterious. But resist the urge to try to make your actions indirect by toning down the way you get her number or ask her out or kiss her. Do not get the barista’s email address by saying you want to send her a picture when what you really want to do is have a drink with her. Ask her if she wants to have a drink with you. Do not ask a coworker (who works in a very far-away department, I hope) out to lunch under the guise of talking about work-related matters when what you really want to do is eventually sleep with her. Ask her if she wants to have lunch, with no qualifications. We do not tell her we want to bang her but we do not hide it either. Our intent is strong in our heads, vague through our words, and assertive through our actions, a balance that is mastered with experience. I’m talking to this girl in the club imagining all the ways I’m going to bang her while my hand is on top of her ass, teasing her that there’s no way it’s going to work out between us. The opposite of a compliment is an insult, something you should also avoid. If you had a linear scale with a compliment on one end being a 1 and an insult on the other end being a 10, some of the material you’ve read so far reach into the 6 range. Their purpose is to let a girl know that you are not impressed with her, even if below the surface you really are. The more you show her you’re impressed, the more likely she will perceive her value as being too high for you. Sex withholding follows as a result. While saying "You’re too old for me" may seem like an insult on the surface, it is taken as a joke when you have already established a fun and playful vibe. Context here is important: if you were talking about something boring like politics all night and then all of a sudden you tell her she’s too old for you, she will get offended. But if you were already joking around with her for a while, she’ll know that it’s just a part of your personality. Regardless, some girls will get insulted by your humor and think, "Who does this guy think he is?" While I don’t apologize to any girl who takes my humor wrong, I definitely don’t continue to push her buttons once she is already upset. To me her annoyance is either a sign of incompatibility or a bad line on my part. Did I accidentally say the wrong thing or did she get offended at a line that girls normally respond well to? I make a judgment call if this interaction can be saved or if there is another girl around that my time could be better spent with. Because trying to convince her that you were joking is a form of beta male supplication, it’s best to move on if your material is poorly received. The goal of material in the middle of our compliment-insult scale is to make her aware of her own faults instead of yours. Once the focus is taken off you, she will be much more susceptible to game. A good way to disguise a compliment is through the "I thought you were" routine. It lets the girl know you are rating and evaluating her for negative qualities, even if in reality she doesn’t have any negative qualities. Use this on the cutest girls you meet, not average looking girls with low self-esteems because they will not be able to handle it. Here’s the structure: "I thought you were a little cold and unfriendly, but now that I got a chance to talk to you, I don’t think you are like that at all." Her eyes are going to open wide and she may tell you she doesn’t believe you think she is cold. Then say, "No that’s why I said I thought you were. That was my first impression, but I don’t believe that now, which is good."

When She’s Interested

Before we talk about girls who are interested in you, first I have to give you the bad news: most of your approaches will not fare very well. You may not be a girl’s physical type, she may have a boyfriend or crush on some other guy, she may not be open to meeting guys in bar venues, or she may not like your hairstyle. It could be one of hundreds of reasons, many of which you can do nothing about. Some nights you will have to approach over five girls until you come across one that wants to hear what you have to say. And even then, not every girl is going to be open to your game: she may call you out, make fun of you, or try to challenge everything you say. (If she’s being argumentative, say, "Wow, you are really feisty. Are you always like this?") If she doesn’t start acting the way you want, walk away. The last thing you need is for one girl with an agenda to mess up your state for the day or night. Just let it roll off your back and go find a girl who is more receptive to meeting someone new. In your development you will achieve micro-accomplishments over an extended period of time where you don’t get rejected as much. That sounds tough but it’s the only way to build a skill-set that will last. A girl who likes you will ask questions about yourself. This is the number one way to know if a girl is interested in you or not. It means she wants more information about the guy she is considering banging. Her questions serve as an indicator of our progress while also giving us the opportunity to build the attraction even further. The first question an interested girl will ask you is, "What is your name?" Give a straight answer to this question and ask for her name in return. I never ask a girl for her name first because then I’d lose an opportunity to gain information about how she feels about me. (If she talks to you for one hour and does not ask you for your name, that means she is just using you to entertain herself.) The fact that girls are predictable in their line of getting-to-know-you questions means you have the opportunity to deliver optimized answers in routine form. The second most common question is, "What do you do?" I hate this question because it shows a lack of originality on the girl’s part. Job titles should come out naturally in conversation over an extended period of time, at a point where you can almost guess what the other person does for a living. But girls want to quickly be able to judge your pecking order in society and possibly guess how much money you make. When asked this question, most guys do their very best to impress the girl by whipping out a business card or stating how many subordinates he has, but what he’s doing is seeking validation from her, hoping his job will get her panties wet. The only time it does is if you are a celebrity or famous artist. When a girl asks you what you do, give her an answer that shows very clearly you do not seek her approval, which will increase her attraction for you even more. I like to have fun with the answer to this question so I have a couple favorites. The first one: "Right now I’m unemployed. I sit at home in my father’s basement most of the day, surfing message boards on the Internet. Then I go to the bookstore and read books for free because the library is too dirty for me." She will ask if you are serious. Say that you are, then smile. Resist the urge to tell her what you really do, and bust on her if she persists, saying,

"You’ve only known me for so and so minutes―what about my job could possibly tell you more than a natural conversation with me?"

Now she thinks you have something to hide, but this is okay because you are putting out a mysterious and shady vibe that girls are drawn into. Answer number two: "I live off the land." Let her ask what that means. "I have a small plot of land where I grow organic crops. I sell what I don’t eat at the local farmer’s market. That’s how I can afford to drink here with you right now. I have a very simple life." Accuse her of judging you if she says she doesn’t believe your story. I go on to tell her about how I grow the specific crops (butter lettuce and on-thevine tomatoes.) Other than your name, you want to hold off for a bit until you give her real answers about yourself. There is a chance a girl with a princess personality will be turned off by the fact you don’t feed her information on demand, that she needs to know right now what you do for a living or else she can’t spend another minute talking to you. I let these girls go because if she needs to know what I do before she can talk to me, she probably isn’t all that interested in banging me anyway.

The next common question girls ask is, "How old are you?" Your answer to this question will be, "Guess!" Constantly giving straight answers sucks energy out of male-female interactions. Again, be the mysterious and shady character that she always has to work to get stuff out of. This technique also keeps the conversation going and steers you clear of an interview vibe. Other than the "Where do you live?" and "What’s your name" questions, your stock answer will be "Guess!" until you come up with something more fun. You will run into girls who respond to "Guess" with something like, "I don’t want to play games and guess." This translates to, "I want you to answer me in a way that I desire." Not only do these types of girls want their needs served first, but in a way that they dictate. It’s hard to tell where you stand with a girl until she starts asking you questions. Even though you must be chatty and dominate the conversation early on, you have to be able to pick up on whether she is enjoying your presence or not so you don’t waste your time. When you are talking to someone you don’t like, you probably give clear signals of disinterest: you turn your body away from them, maintain very little eye contact, and speak the least amount of words possible. You do everything you can to discourage the person from continuing. You rarely ask questions because if you did, the person would keep on talking and you definitely do not want that. In the first few minutes of an interaction, a girl may give off similar signs of disinterest. This is normal and does not necessarily mean she does not want to talk to you―she just may not be sure about you yet. To be sure you are going to continue for another few minutes until you are reasonably certain she is not interested. This prevents you from walking away too early if she is a little shy or if she is self-conscious about how she is appearing to her friends who may be nearby. If you are unsure of her interest level, ask yourself, "Is she engaging me?" Does she recognize you as an interesting human being with ideas and experiences that she wants to get to know? Is she maintaining eye contact and putting in effort to make it a smooth interaction? Is talking to her more enjoyable than having your teeth pulled? If not, walk away without doubt and move on to the next girl. It usually won’t get to that―she will just turn away from you without saying anything or let you know that she is going to talk to her friends.

If she is asking you personal questions, keeping eye contact, and assisting with the conversation, squash any doubt in your head about her interest level and proceed as if she wants to have sex with you. The one question you do not want to hear is, "Are you a comedian?" This may happen to you in early stages of testing material. When a girl says that, she is really saying, "You know I don’t mind you too much, but you are coming across as really fake." Either your material sounds too perfect, like it happened to someone else, or you are speaking at her instead of with her as if you are on a stage playing out a performance. This is a problem with guys who use all routines and no threads. Since you won’t have more than a few routines memorized, I don’t expect you to get this complaint. While you will say things that make her laugh, remember that humor is just a means to an end. If you feel like you are entertaining the girl, providing her with laughs and getting no real engagement in return, drop all routines and move towards casual conversation. Body language is sometimes a useful indicator of whether she is interested or not. If during the conversation you note a negative change in her body language where she appears to be closing off to you by folding her arms or turning away, it would be wise to change what you’re doing. But if all of a sudden she’s touching you more, you can take that as sign of serious interest where you can escalate the interaction. Remember that the only reason we care whether a girl is interested or not in the first place is because it acts as a green light for us to start driving the interaction towards sex. It’s okay if a girl turns out to be not interested in you because your willingness to approach means there will be more options before the day or night is over. Proper game is based on the model of abundance, where it’s understood that there are a surplus of single, quality women out there who want to have sex. Guys who do poorly with women have a reality based on a model of scarcity, where the world collapses upon itself if he didn’t get with that one "special" girl. When you have to eject from talking to a girl or group of girls because of disinterest, do not think about what happened until the night is over. The temptation to immediately figure out what you did wrong wastes valuable approach time, especially when it’s more likely you did nothing wrong at all. Do all your thinking at home when you are done talking to girls, where you look at each situation and think about what you could have done to have made it gone smoother. In some cases it’s going to be obvious when you said one thing that got an immediate negative reaction, but in most cases where it won’t be obvious, simply reinforce the things you did right. There are times when this reflection on a night out makes me see that I tried to be too funny, or I talked way too much. Sometimes I notice I ejected too soon, or I showed too much interest early on. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but make a mental note so you correct it for the next pick-up. Once this process is repeated hundreds of times, you will deliver an optimized game that you feel comfortable about.

Once she is showing interest, start with the main escalation technique: touching. While talking and showing your personality gets her interested, touching is what leads to intimacy. It also lets her know that you are a physical man who is experienced around women. How you start touching a girl depends on the venue you are at, but for now let’s assume you are a place that serves alcohol. If I am talking to a girl and she is interested (she is asking me questions), I introduce touching at around the 10 minute mark. The first touching move is where you touch right above her hip bone with one of your hands. Your first hip touch should only be for one or two seconds to probe her reaction. If she doesn’t recoil (odds are she won’t) or take great notice to your touch, wait a few minutes and then go back to the same spot for a longer, ten second touch. Then wait a few more minutes and return for a longer, half-minute touch. By the 45 minute mark, your hand should be resting comfortably on her hip. Most girls do not say anything, but every now and then you get a girl who asks, "What is your hand doing?" Your answer: "It’s on the side of your hip." Stand firm without moving your hand until she backs away or physically removes your hand from her body. It’s very rare that a girl will move your hand away unless you introduce it when she wasn’t interested in the first place. This move tests her for any major physical issues that would prevent you from moving forward. After you pass the one hour mark, begin to explore the space: move it to the small of her back and then eventually to the top of her ass.

An extension of the hip move is the double-hip move. When she says something shocking, insulting, or weird, use your hands to grab both sides of her hips and move her a little closer to you while you say something like "What?!" or "Are you serious?!" with a deep eye contact stare. Then after a couple seconds relax and let one hand go. Hip touches are difficult or impossible to pull off if you are both sitting down or in a coffee shop-type venue. In that case you can introduce touching by commenting on jewelry she has on her hands or wrist. Pretend that a piece of jewelry she has on suddenly caught your eye and touch it as you ask her what it means. Leave your hands touching her for an extra second or two longer than necessary. This move isn’t a panty-wetter on its own but will make it easy to touch her later in a more desirable environment. Touching will be very important later when we are about to go in for the kiss.

Landmines

There are variables that make the simple act of talking to a new girl very difficult. The first is noise level. After you’ve been in a loud club for a couple hours, it becomes very hard to hear, and because constantly saying "What?" will stall out a conversation, sometimes it’s better to mimic her facial expression and nod after she says something you couldn’t quite make out. Be careful though: you will eventually nod to a question you shouldn’t. The best way to combat loud noise is to dance, where you talk to her for maybe 10-15 minutes, gently grab her hand, and say, "Let’s go dance." Never ask. The second variable is cockblocking. This is probably the most frustrating aspect of the game as you simply cannot control it. Unless the girl is very into you, she will allow herself to be extracted by her fat girlfriend. It’s a shame because with just a little more time you could have turned a girl’s lukewarm interest into something stronger. In other words, cockblocking will cost you notches and there’s little you can do about it. But there is one routine you can use in defense of the cockblock when you see it coming:
I know exactly what your friend is going to do. In three minutes she is going to come here and try to take you away. And do you know why? Well, do you see her talking to a cool guy right now? If she was talking to a guy she likes, I don’t think she would worry about me talking to you. I don’t understand why girls prevent their friends from having a good time.
What you are doing is planting a seed in her mind that her friend is trying to rob her of a good experience. Guys will not cockblock you as much because many understand the rules of the game, but every now and then you will run into a guy who really does not like the fact that you are trying to get into a girl’s pants. Sometimes I think these guys are just looking for your respect or approval because talking to them for a couple minutes and asking them simple questions disarms them for more time. In general, it is best to be friendly to those who you think will cockblock you, but let them talk to you first because you don’t want to give them too much encouragement. On the other hand, when you see another player who is doing well, your instinct may be to doubt him and be jealous. This is natural because the competitive nature of the game makes things seem zero-sum, that if some other guy is getting laid it is at your expense, but this attitude will slow your growth more than anything. Instead of hating, learn from other guys by watching and asking questions. Every player out there has at least one golden line or move that is worth incorporating in your game. If a guy is persistent with moving in on a girl you like, ask him,

"Do you like her?" Your tone will be neutral, like you are just curious. If he says yes then you can put him in a weak position by saying, "Well you should buy her a drink then!" If he buys her a drink then he's just another beta in the bar and if he doesn't then it looks awkward because he just made a verbal declaration of his affection. If he says he doesn't like her or weasels out of answering, say, "Well there are a lot of girls here. I'm sure you will find someone who you like if you keep trying. Don't give up!" He's done. It's like you are giving him relationship advice. He is going to scramble and say something like, "Oh, um, I'm not here to pick up girls." Now he just put his dick in a box. Without even raising your voice or having to get tough, you can neutralize a male cockblocker and resume running game on your girl. The third variable is the interruption. You will be talking to a girl, things will be going fine, and all of a sudden a friend from nowhere recognizes her and they start a conversation. When this happens it is best to be proactive to prevent getting completely excluded. Since she just met you, she probably won’t introduce you to the friend, especially if she doesn’t even know your name yet. Therefore, ten seconds after their reunification, take the initiative by sticking out your hand and introducing yourself, whether her friend is a guy or girl. Often times their conversation will be inside in nature, giving you little opportunity to insert yourself into the dialogue. You must make a judgment call on how long the conversation will last because you don’t want to put yourself in the weak position of sitting there for a while, silently, waiting for them to finish. If it looks like you will not be included and their conversation will continue for more than a couple minutes, say with a smile, "I will let you two catch up." Do not tell her when or if you are coming back. After you walk away, you have to assume that the approach is done and you will not talk to her again, because odds are low that you will. Free your mind up to meet other girls that hopefully she sees you talking to. If you do see her again and she doesn’t avert eye contact with you, re-approach her. The best way to re-approach a girl is to casually notice her, smile, and say, "You’re still here?" You want to continue the conversation like you didn’t already talk to her, which means you need to hook her attention again and rebuild the energy that was lost with your time away. While re-approaching is worth your time, the reason it ended the first time will probably surface again. Ideally you want to push interactions without breaks so the re-approach is never needed. When a girl re-approaches you, it is a very strong indicator of her interest. A tough spot you are going to be placed in is when you are talking to a girl for a couple minutes and she asks you to hold her drink or coat. It seems like such a simple request but it has strong meaning in the interaction. Understand: you are not a drink holder or coat stand. There is no reason for you to hold anything she owns; if she can’t handle something with her own two hands then she shouldn’t have brought it out. When was the last time you were at a bar and asked a friend to hold your coat? That said, if you have been talking to her for less than ten minutes and she asks you for such a favor, nod your head sideways. She will look at you like you’re crazy. Then say, "But I hardly know you," with a slight smirk. She will still be shocked and you will be tempted to explain yourself, but don’t―simply stand there like a rock and continue the conversation as if she didn’t even ask. Before you think you "lost" her because you refused to be her drink holder, realize that you didn’t have her in the first place. This type of girl likes attention and wants to see how much she can get random guys to invest in her. A girl with a sincere interest in you will do the opposite: she will make it easy on you by withholding from asking favors for as long as possible. If she asks for a favor after fifteen minutes and the interaction is going very well, decide based on the circumstance. If she is making a strong effort for your attention and you’re in a good mood and want to hold her drink, then go for it, but make sure you raise a stink about it beforehand. Say, "I just met you and you’re already asking me for favors!" Whatever you do, do not hold something for her while she uses the bathroom―she’ll be gone for at least five minutes while you stand there like a chump holding a ladies jacket.

A similar situation is buying drinks for girls on the same night you meet them. Don’t do it. First, is sends the message that the only way you can keep her attention is by purchasing something for her. It says that you are not confident of your own ability to get her interested and that you use purchases to break the ice or keep the conversation going. Second, there is a breed of girls who make it a competition to see how many free drinks they can get from strange men. When they go out they only take their ID and nothing else because there will always be a line of beta males willing to pay for their entertainment. Finally, buying drinks is too cliché. You might as well ask her how often she comes to the bar. Stay away from moves that have been done a million times before. A girl who asks you to buy her a drink is much worse than a girl who asks you to hold one. She didn’t come out to meet a guy―she came out to drink for free. These girls tend to be the biggest game players and attention whores. Reply to her question by saying, "Funny, I was about to ask you to buy a drink," "Yeah too bad I spent all my money on hookers and drugs last night, or I’d be more than happy to buy you as many drinks as you want," or, "Do I look like the kind of guy who buys random girls drinks? Come on now." I may point to a guy next to us and say, "He looks like a guy who buys girls drinks. You should go talk to him." These girls are wastes of time. There are some instances where it may feel natural to buy a drink for a girl who you have been talking to for a while. Sometimes you are having such a great time that you just want to buy a round for her and her friends. While this is a more acceptable situation to buy a drink for a girl, I still advise against it. No matter how pure your intentions, buying her things sends an early message that you are ready to give without receiving. She must do more to get something from you than just stand there and laugh at your jokes. There is a drink loophole I use to avoid buying girls drinks. If I am having a good time with a girl I buy one drink and share some with her from the same straw. I offer by saying, "I’m not trying to get too drunk tonight," to make it easier for her to accept. The message you send is that she can only share what you’re having. Every sip is earned because you can take the drink away anytime you want. Joke around with her by saying, "Hey, save some for me." If she’s feisty or a ballbuster, before you hand her the drink say, "Wait, you don’t have any germs right?" Drink sharing means you share saliva, which psychologically prepares her for a bigger fluid exchange down the road. For all other favors a girl may seek, ask yourself if she deserves it. Most of the time the answer will be no. Girls have a built-in program in their brain designed to get as much as possible from men while putting in the least amount of work. I believe they do this to tell if a guy likes them or not because they don’t trust their instincts when it comes to determining a guy’s interest. There are girls who get banged by guys but still ask friends if he "really" likes her or not. Do the least amount of favors for her as possible so she stays unsure of your interest level.

Wingmen

The concept of the wingman has been popularized somewhat recently. The idea is for your friend to occupy the ugly girlfriend while you talk to the girl you like. Some guys take an extra step and define a wingman as someone who helps them get laid. The problem with this second definition is if you don’t get laid, you will be tempted to blame you friend instead of figuring out what you could have done better. The purpose of your friend should not necessarily be to help you, but to not hurt you. It is much better to have a silent friend who just stands there like a cardboard cutout than to have someone who is not cool and says stupid things that disturb the flow of your game. Regardless of how good or bad of a wingman your friend is, success is determined by you alone. Any unfortunate mistake your friend makes is just another event in the fluid and unpredictable nature of pick-up. Be careful about accusing your friend of cockblocking. I find that those who are quick to make accusations of cockblocking have a scarcity frame when it comes to girls. So supposedly your friend blew your chance with this one girl you didn’t make out with and now your night is ruined because they are no more cute girls anywhere. Except in extreme circumstances, I think accusing someone of cockblocking is a cop-out for failure. The reason I don’t accuse guys of cockblocking is because I either do something about it when it happens or I admit defeat. If my drunk buddy is cockblocking me, I adjust on-the-fly by dominating the conversation and physically blocking him out. He can whine to me later on but he’s not getting in the way of what I want because he’s too lazy to approach his own girls. To crush him I will tell the girl to excuse my buddy because he’s just really drunk. So I cockblock my cockblocking friend and we’ll both get over it the next day. This is a much better way to deal with it then moping like a little bitch at the end of the night. The man with the best game gets the girl, and I see nothing wrong with competing with a friend who is not recognizing the basic rules of the game. If I approach a group then I get to pick the girl I want to go after, and if a friend bombs with a girl that starts showing me interest then she’s fair game. While it may be a good idea to give him hints about how you both can succeed better, you are not in the business of molding men. That said, it is important for you and your friends to have a way to determine who gets which girl. The easiest way is to establish a rule that whomever approaches the group gets to pick which girl he wants. This is fair because of the difficulty in approaching. If you and your friend go after the same girl, not only will neither of you will get her, but she will enjoy an incredible ego boost. Another important rule is to know when backup should arrive. I find one minute to be best, so help the guy who did the approach one minute after he makes it. When you do a group approach and your friend comes in one minute later, introduce him to everyone with, "This is my friend Stan, he’s the coolest guy I know." Then continue running game. You may want to turn an attractive lady friend into a wingman. The female wingman is supposed to let other females know that you are accepted on this Earth by at least one woman. But we use her differently than a male wingman. While your buddy is by your side to talk to the girlfriends and absorb distractions, the female wingman is there to increase your social standing. When you enter a venue, you want to talk to your lady friend long enough for other girls to see. Make the interaction ambiguous by talking close and encouraging her to touch you from time to time. Then, go approach girls on your own, who will now be much more receptive to your game. The purpose of the female wingman is just to increase the success rate of your approaches. While you can bring your lady friend along with you in the approach, I find that the girls tend to talk too much amongst themselves, severely limiting my ability to game. Don’t let a girl do the approach for you―approaching a girl you want to sleep with is your job and no one else’s.

Your lady friends help create jealousy, a powerful emotion that humans respond to more powerfully than logic. But many men continue to use logic to get women―they buy expensive clothes, pluck their eyebrows, buy a nice car, and get extra glossy business cards. They only see limited success using this strategy because they are not hitting a woman’s emotional buttons of jealousy, drama, and anger. You are much more likely to engage a woman if you make her jealous than if you impress her with a car that other men have. For example, a girl I used to date would always tell me about guys hitting on her, including where they hit on her and what they said. She would laugh off these stories but keep them open-ended. While I knew she was using a trick to make me think that she has high value, I could not help but conclude she was a desirable woman with high value. This means that even though a girl may know you are trying to get her jealous, she feels the emotion anyway. While it’s best not to cross the line and brag about girls who like you, don’t feel the need to hide it. She should know that you talk to other girls, and if she ever accuses you of being a flirt, just say you are an outgoing, friendly person.

Thirty Minutes And Beyond

After you hit the thirty minute mark, take a deep breath and relax because things are going to get easier. By now the conversational balance should start to shift where she is talking a lot more, probably more than you. Your main goal starting with the approach was to hook her attention and build attraction, but now it will shift towards making her feel comfortable with you, physically and emotionally. Let her talk without interruption about personal details of her life. Once comfort is established in addition to attraction―where she both trusts and likes you―escalating to physical intimacy will be easy and predictable. If you haven’t built up attraction in the first 30 minutes, there is very little chance you ever will. If she is not engaging you or asking you questions after 30 minutes of displaying your personality and value (indirectly through conversation and routines), move on. A good way to build comfort and trust is to display interest in who she is as a person. Be a good listener and show that you are mildly impressed in her most significant accomplishments. But be careful about bunkering down and making it seem like she has your attention for as long as she wants it. Instead, give the impression that your attention can be withdrawn at any moment. A good way to do this is to break eye contact every now and then to glance very briefly at something else that caught your attention. As long as you don’t overdo it, she will feel slightly insecure about being able to keep your interest and try even harder to do so. It’s okay to move into more "boring" topics to build comfort. You want to strike a balance between remaining mysterious and making her feel like she knows you. Accomplish this by revealing information about yourself in small morsels instead of large chunks. Other than to increase comfort, another purpose of personal information sharing is to find things you two have in common. Finding a commonality is a bonus that gives you something to talk about at length, though it is not needed to get her into bed. At thirty minutes, three options open up to you: getting her number, moving her to another venue where you escalate (physically), or remaining at the current venue where you also escalate. Getting her number is the least desirable option because it ends the current interaction with zero guarantee that it will continue again. Call-back rates, even for accomplished players, are pathetically low; if barely half the girls return your call, you are doing very well. This means that more than half of your initial game work will be a complete waste once you get her number. And even if she does call you back, there are many issues that can arise to prevent a first date from happening. The phone gives power to the girl while taking away yours because she can analyze the costs and benefits of seeing you again, screen your calls, and determine when she wants to call you back, if at all. Because you want her to make an impulsive decision to have intimacy with you, always choose to escalate the encounter as far as possible on the same day you meet her. The farther you get ― without creeping her out ― the higher the chance you will see her again because she invested more time and energy into you. The man who goes out to get a phone number does not go home with more than a phone number. Since your end-goal is sex, that is what you think about while talking to a girl. You should be thinking, "What do I have to do to get her in bed tonight?" Even though the odds she will have sex with you on the same day you meet are low, and you may not always be able to make a wholly sincere effort if logistics prevent you from escalation or if she simply isn’t that type, it’s better to have it on your mind than not because you will be constantly open to the opportunity. If you only care about numbers yet she is giving you a horny vibe, you are going to miss out on sex when the opportunity presents itself. When you train your mind to go for sex, you stay more open to its occurrence. Because sex is an impulsive decision, you must strike when the iron is hot. I used to think that if a girl wanted to sleep with me, all I had to do was sit back, take my time, and wait until sex falls on my lap. But sex with girls I liked never did fall onto my lap. When I was selling my motorcycle, a young man responded to my classified ad. He came over, sized my bike up, sat on it, blipped the throttle, and thought long and hard for fifteen minutes until he told me would buy it. He said he didn’t have deposit money with him but would be back in two days with my asking price in cash. I never heard from him again. A week later, another guy came to look at the bike. He was even more enthusiastic and told me he would be back the next day to buy it. He was grinning from ear to ear about owning my bike, but I never heard from him either. How can these two make final decisions to spend thousands of dollars on something and then change their minds so easily? If these guys could reverse their positions on a $3,000 purchase, imagine how much easier it is to change your mind on something more minor, like a single instance of casual sex. After a human being carries out a decision, their brain will do everything it can to rationalize that decision. If you bought a car only months before a newer, better-looking model came out, you will rationalize how the older model is in fact better. But before you carry out a decision, your brain will inject doubt to talk you out of it. Sales pitches are designed to make you act right away because marketers know that if you think about making a purchase for too long, you will not make the purchase. The same occurs with sex, a decision that depends on a girl’s state and environment. Therefore when a girl makes the decision to have sex with you, you must quickly capitalize on her decision before any variables change; before doubt kicks in, before her friend cockblocks you, before her ex-boyfriend from the Army calls to propose marriage, before she wonders if she’s already slept with too many men for her age, and before new things in her life distract her from you. Whenever she makes the decision to have sex with you, whether it’s when she first meets you or on a later date, if you are not mentally prepared and willing to take advantage of her decision, you may let the opportunity pass forever. Knowing what I know now, I should have told my bike’s prospective buyers to get the cash immediately because someone else was on their way. You have to always be pushing to complete the transaction, because nothing is inevitable and nothing "just happens." You are the one who makes it happen. There are going to be times when it will be impossible for you to escalate even though she is interested in you. Maybe her friend is in a bad mood and has to leave immediately, or maybe you are having an off night and ran out of things to say, or maybe her group of interrupting friends makes it very difficult to do anything. If you are in danger of completely stalling or the interaction has found an abrupt end, settle for the consolation prize of her number. When you want to get her number because you’ve exhausted all other options, say "I think we should hang out" or "I think we should hang out for a drink." If she gives you an excuse about how she’s busy or doesn’t usually go out, then she is not interested. If she responds with something like "Sure," "That sounds good," "We can do that," or anything similar, she is interested in seeing you again. Then ask her if she has a cell phone. After she says yes, pull out your cell phone, hand it to her, and say, "Why don’t you put in your number." Notice how you don’t explicitly ask her for the number; it’s implied and comes naturally as a result of two people wanting to see each other again. Donot give your number without getting hers. If she asks you for your number, tell her you’ll exchange, but if she persists in getting your number without giving hers, say, "Well I’m the man so I should call first." Sometimes you will get her number because you thought she was going to leave, but then she ends up staying. In that case proceed with escalation. Don’t think, "Oh I don’t have to talk to her anymore tonight since I already got her number," because odds are that number will not result in anything. And if you are still talking to her after you got her number, you probably got it too prematurely and should have continued escalating instead. An advanced technique is to terminate the interaction without trying to get her number. When the conversation comes to a close, say, "It was nice meeting you." You are making a bet that she will be upset you didn’t ask for your number and attempt to either offer it on her own or encourage you to get it by showing blatant interest. If she does offer the number, act reluctant, aloof, and slow, making her wonder if you really are interested in her. Number reluctance only works if you have spent a good amount of time with her (at least thirty minutes) and you are confident her interest is strong. If I'm at a coffee shop and only talked to a girl for five minutes, it’s almost a certainty that she will not offer her number without prompting. Less than half an hour is not enough time for a guy such as myself to display the glory that is my humor, personality, and intelligence. The point of this technique is to make her invest more energy into the interaction because the more she puts in, the less likely she will flake on you afterwards. The key is to pull back just enough to encourage her, but not so much that she gets insecure and does nothing. Use this technique after you have a few dozen numbers of experience, when your skill at judging interest levels becomes accurate. If you try this technique and she doesn’t take the bait, and starts to turn away, stop her and get her number like you normally would.

Even the way you get her phone number can reveal a lot about your game. For example, when I first started the game and would get a phone number, I’d go into panic mode when a pen could not be found (I didn’t always take a cell phone out), and frantically ask strangers around me for one. By doing this I showed that I valued her much higher than myself, that her number is such a big deal that I’m prepared to act like a hyper puppy dog trying to get it. It should have been the other way around where she has to panic trying to find a pen. Understand: if a guy she valued came through the door and all that stood between her seeing him again was a writing instrument, she would jump through hoops to find one. The more that you act like you have high value, by being reluctant to get the number or the pen, the more a girl will believe you have high value and jump through hoops for you. Later she will put in more effort and flake less. You are simply behaving in a way that people with high value behave, where your own value and worth can be as high as you want them to be. Avoid getting email addresses instead of phone numbers. They are a waste of time that reduce the likelihood you will see her again. The reason I used to get emails was because my phone game was terrible, but I ended up having to get on the phone anyway due to the very low conversation rate of emails. If a girl tells you that she can give you her email instead of a number, say, "Well that’s okay then because I don’t do email." She is not serious about seeing you again. Sometimes when a girl gives you a number, she adds additional information which is aimed to lower your expectations. A common thing you will hear is, "But I have a boyfriend so we can only be friends." You need to let her know that her attempt to steer the interaction is not going to fly with you. Say, "Well, how about you do what you want to do and I’ll do what I want to do. Hopefully it’s the same thing, but if not, then not. It’s not a big deal." Let her respond then add, "You can classify things if it makes you feel better, but I like to take thing only one step at a time, whether it is friendship or dating or anything else." This sends the message that you are going to do what you want to do, regardless of what she says. When a girl drops the "I have a boyfriend" line on you, fire off a cocky response that lets her know you don’t care. Say, "Good, he’ll give you something to do when I’m not around," or, "God I just met you and you are already telling me about your problems." Then continue the conversation like you didn’t even hear it. Never ask a girl whether she is single or not. If her status is important then she will let you know on her own.

No Friendship

One of the greatest fears men have is being "friended" by a girl he likes. This happens for three reasons. First, he is too nice to her. He treats her better than his guy friends without expecting anything in return. He gives her rides, helps her with her problems, and tolerates her flakey behavior. Second, he portrays a picture of himself that is not attractive. He talks about his past failures and problems with women. He shares thought and ideas on men, women, and relationships that reflect an insecure, needy reality. You should not break down or discuss your dating or relationship problems with a girl you want to bang. Also do not act like her buddy by giving advice, even if the solutions to her problems are obvious to you. When a girl asks you questions like, "How long was your longest relationship?" give short, vague answers. Do not let her piece together your dating or relationship history. Lastly, he gets friended because his intent is weak. You will not make out with a girl through sheer will and hope. From the moment you meet her, if you don’t possess the intent to sleep with her and perform the steps needed to accomplish that goal, you will get nothing. You start with The Vibe and alpha male attitude, then touching, then kissing, and so on. You do not simply spend time with her and talk to her for hours and hope that something will just happen. While something may eventually happen with this passive approach, there is also a chance that a comet will come crashing through the sky and land on your head this very second. You wouldn’t bet on that comet, so don’t bet on the do-nothing approach.

Dancing

A very efficient way to ramp up touching is through dancing. Not only is dancing a good way to combat loud noise, but it’s also excellent at getting your hands all over her body and priming her for the kiss. If you can’t dance or don’t have natural rhythm then you should start learning by copying good dancers and practicing. When you are observing a dance floor, you will be able to tell who is good at dancing and who is not. Simply duplicate the moves of those who are good. Practice at home and within a couple months you will get to a skill level where dancing is able to facilitate your pick-ups. The point is not to be a great dancer, but to be good enough to use the touching benefits that dancing offers (dancing will get you to the kiss faster than other means). Because of this reason it is worth your time to learn it, especially since it’s a skill that will always be useful to you. Once you get her to the dance floor with "Let’s go dance," start it off slow. When you look around on the dance floor, you will see that every guy loves to jam his crotch on a girl’s ass, especially when hip hop is playing, and while you will be doing that too, hold off on it for a little bit. Dance in your own space in front of her and continue on and off with the hip touches. After a minute or two, move a little closer and put both of your hands on her hip, letting her gyrate very close to your crotch as you face her. Then step back and take your hands off hands off her. Treat dancing like a dance of its own, where you go back and forth to build a climax. Make her wonder why you aren’t constantly on her. After a minute dancing a couple feet away from her, gradually come back and bring her hips just a little closer than before. Then step back again. Just like with verbal conversation, it will be you who paces the interaction on the dance floor; she will not be stepping back from you because you will be doing it to her first. Keep repeating this cycle until both of you are very close and your hands have explored her hips, sides, lower back, and the top of her ass. The final non-kissing move you want to do on the dance floor is to get your head very close to hers, where your cheeks are barely touching, you can feel her heat, and she’s not pulling back. It is not surprising that dancing very commonly results in a kiss within a short amount of time. With dancing skills you can completely skip verbal openers and approach right on the dance floor. The first thing you need to do is to get comfortable dancing alone in a visible spot. You are just feeling the music and having a good time by yourself, showing others that you are fun guy who prefers not to hold up the wall. When you see a girl you like, decide if you want to approach from the front or from the back. If you approach from the front, position yourself in front of her, make eye contact with a slight smile, grab her hand, and then continue dancing. For instance, if you are right-handed, you will reach out your right hand to grab her left hand. Don’t grab it so meekly that gravity loosens the grip but also don’t give her a death squeeze. It should be like you are giving a handshake to a 10-year-old. You want to come across as assertive but warm. The moment of judgment comes when you grab her hand and she uses the next half-second to evaluate whether she wants to dance with you or not. Because the only component of your personality you can display in a dance approach is confidence, she is mostly going by your looks and appearance. Therefore dance approaches will serve you better if you are good-looking. Average guys will find better use of their approach time with verbal openers that use their personalities instead. A girl does not have to make a split-second decision on whether to accept your company or not if you make a standard talking approach. Since you are being indirect and conversational, she will give you a chance even if the instant interest is not there. It’s this chance that gives us time to plant our personality seed to translate lukewarm interest into major interest. Because dance approaches do not give you this chance, you are playing more of a numbers game than tight game skill, but it’s still a tool worth experimenting with. When approaching her from the back, an approach popular at hip hop clubs, you simply rub your crotch on her ass while still dancing. She looks back to see if you are good looking enough, or she has her friend look, and then either moves away or continues dancing. As you can guess, the front dance approach has a higher chance of success because it’s less slimy. Dance approaches flip the standard approach. Since you start with the physical and then move into conversation, you actually end up using your opener well after you’ve already explored her body with your hands. While you are dancing, if she asks you any question at all, take that as a green light that she is very interested. (The first thing she will ask you is probably your name.) After a few songs, suggest she comes with you to get a glass of water at the bar, where you can start conversation like you would if you just walked up to her.

Escalating To The Kiss

The more time into the interaction you are, the less critical it will be to have something interesting to say. You simply cannot sustain a relationship built on always-interesting conversation. If you’ve adopted The Vibe and ran a couple of your best routines, you will already have blown out 80% of all other guys she has met in her life based on the first thirty minutes alone. Your focus at this point will be maintenance because failure will come either from saying stupid things, getting needy, or getting cockblocked. As long as you stay relaxed and keep doing what you are doing, your odds of success will be quite good. Retain the mindset that it is her that should be proving herself instead of the other way around. She’s the one who is on display and being judged, not you. Besides getting the number, your other two options are continuing the interaction where you are at or moving it to another location. Most of the time you will be staying in the same venue, so let’s talk about that first. Since your value has already been displayed and she is interested in you, your goal will be to relax, get to know her, not say anything stupid, and most importantly, escalate. Retain the thread strategy to keep the conversation flowing while you find commonalities and ramp up touching. You want to reach a level of rapport where it feels like she’s known you for longer than she has. Your hands will be the main escalation tools. We last left one of your hands resting on the side of her hip and it should now be encroaching on the top of her ass. Don’t be scared to do this. Touching is extremely important in shortening the time it takes to get her in bed so it is something you should always be focused on. Even if all you can manage is subtle footsy games underneath a coffee table, it’s better than nothing. Touch and touch often. Another important touching move is hand holding. If you are leading her to another spot in the venue, stick your hand out right next to hers. Now gauge her return grab. If it is a weak grip where the hold would be broken if you loosen pressure, that means she does not want to currently hold your hand. Let her hand go and try again later. Once she is comfortable with your touching and starts to reciprocate with some touching of her own, she is ready for the next step: the kiss. All the ways in which humans express physical affection can be fit on a line. On one end is the hug and on the other end is penetrative sex. You’ve hugged many people in your life, probably some that you don’t like, but as you move down the line you are less likely to perform intimate acts with people you dislike. Kissing on the mouth is somewhere in the middle, an act you only do to people you have an interest in but something not serious enough to warrant a lot of thinking or analysis. It’s only one step above breathing in someone’s ear or rubbing noses. But the faster you can kiss her, the better, and it’s for one simple reason: to save time. If you don’t kiss her when you meet her, you are going to have to do it on the first date. Since on this date you won’t be able to kiss her until the end, after you rebuild the magic from the night you met, you can save yourself at least one whole date ― and the money that date costs ― if you kiss her when you first meet. This is because she will be more open to moving it much farther on the first date if you already kissed beforehand. In other words, a man who didn’t kiss his girl at the bar will have a second date two that looks like the first date of a man who did. You may be thinking that you are moving too fast if you try to kiss her when you first meet her, but in fact you are probably moving too slow. In some foreign countries, especially ones in South America, it is very strange if the guy doesn’t make a move within an hour or so. In Venezuela I made out with a Brazilian girl after a thirty second introduction (granted, she was a prostitute, but I didn’t know that at the time). Even in the States, many American girls will not hesitate to make out with a guy that they feel attraction for (thirty seconds is my record here as well). Think of kissing as a prerequisite you need for sex to occur. You can kiss girls and not have sex but not the other way around, unless you are paying for it. Since kissing is a physical act, our kiss escalation strategy will be composed of physical moves. A girl may get aroused if you tell her a story about how you climbed a mountain to kill a bear with your bare hands, but storytelling is not as efficient and universal as touching. Girls will kiss almost anything as long as they are interested and physically comfortable with what they are about to kiss. No emotional connection is required. There are four key moves to the kiss, two of which you can use when you meet her and two additional ones that come into play on the first date. They ease into the kiss so you don’t surprise her in a way that may lead to an awkward moment. By using physical moves that ramp up towards the kiss, she will have the opportunity to let you know if she doesn’t want to kiss you well before you close the gap to her mouth. The first move is the staring contest. Silent eye contact is an intimate gesture usually reserved for close lovers. You introduce the staring contest in a playful way by randomly saying, "I bet you I could kill you in a staring contest." Some girls may whine that they are not very good at staring contests, but press on and tell them that you are not that good at it either. Fifteen seconds into the staring contest, take advantage of the opportunity to be playful by either falsely accusing her of blinking or complaining that your contacts or dry eye condition give her a totally unfair advantage. If you lose the first round, suggest a best out of three. The staring contest makes her feel more comfortable with you.

After the staring contest, your touching game should be wellestablished. If you are in a bar or club, your hand is frequently attached to her hip. If you are at a coffee shop, your feet may be touching under the table and your arms or elbows may come in frequent contact. The distance between you two should be closing. Now we’re going to introduce the holy grail touch move: the hair stroke. Perform this move when she has responded positively to most of what you’ve done so far and you feel like she is giving out mostly green lights (a couple yellow lights are normal). First, maintain constant eye contact while she is talking and then interrupt her by saying,

"Wait." Then very slowly and gently, brush your fingers across her temple going behind her ear to fix her hair, even if there is nothing to fix. Then say, "I fixed your hair." While seemingly innocent, this is a very intimate move that again is reserved for lovers. After you perform the stroke, gauge her reaction. Did she make a weird face or seem like she was creeped out? If so, then she is not ready to be kissed until your next meeting, where you will run the two additional moves. Unfortunately, a small minority of girls have rules or major objections to kissing guys on the same day they meet them. If she gave you a neutral or deep look and continued the conversation, or simply maintained eye contact without questioning what you did, she is ready to be kissed. Knowing a girl is ready to be kissed is like knowing what poker hand your opponent is playing. You play the hand in a way that maximizes the amount of money you get. With a girl you want to use this knowledge to amplify the sexual tension so that the kiss has more impact, which she attributes to you instead of your moves. First, during conversation or dancing, lock eye contact and move to within about six inches of her face. If she is ready to be kissed, she will not move back. Continue with physical touching for the next couple of minutes by moving away and then back to this invisible six inch wall. Then move to within four inches and break eye contact at least once to glance at her lips. She knows what this means. This is fun because you will feel the tension that you are creating and probably get aroused. She may even close her eyes to get ready for you to kiss her. At that point you know you can do it right then, but instead you will pull back and continue the conversation like nothing happen. How long you want to postpone the kiss depends on the stability of your environment. If you are at a place with lots of distractions and there is a real chance you will get cockblocked, your next pass will be when you kiss. But if you are at a quiet party or lounge, you can play the dance a little bit longer for a stronger effect. Make at least one more pass where you simply repeat coming in close, building the tension, and then bottling it up by pulling back. On the final pass, get in close to where your noses are about to rub, hold it for two seconds, wet your lips if you need to, and then make that final leap of faith onto her mouth. Rejection should not be on your mind because if a girl lets you get within a couple inches of her face, she is accepting the kiss. If you are at a non-alcoholic venue, you will have the opportunity to perform at least one pass after the hug goodbye, where you loosen the hug but leave both of your hands resting on her hip so you remain close to her. While this technique gives you an assurance that she is ready, it is actually overkill because she probably will be ready well before you do even the staring contest. It mainly serves the added benefit of building tension. A rule of thumb when it comes to kissing a girl is to see if she remains still when you get close to her face. If you are a few inches away and she doesn’t move, she can be kissed right then and there. Experiment in a way that balances speed with sexual tension. If you are talking to a girl who you don’t want to ever see again, go for speed. But if you do want to take her out again, you want to build as much tension as you can to blow her away when you finally do kiss her

Another way to feel out the kiss is through the cheek kiss move. It’s an optional move I do if I want instant feedback on how I’m doing. To perform this move, first wait for a natural break in the interaction where she goes to the bathroom or to the bar for a drink. Then turn your head sideways, point to your cheek, and say, "Kiss on cheek!" If she asks why or says no, that means you have to keep working on her. Her refusal may be a cause for concern because, after all, it is only a cheek kiss. If she gives you a simple cheek kiss, take that as a neutral sign that means you’re on track. If she makes out with your cheek, then she is ready to make out with you. Keep the move going by asking her to give a kiss on your other cheek. Then say, "Alright I guess I gotta give you one now." Give slow kisses to both sides of her face and then make eye contact while you are still close. If she doesn’t pull back, you can go for the kiss right there. There are many ways to kiss a girl, and as long as you don’t ask for permission, tell her you want to kiss her, or make sudden movements, it’s hard to go wrong. There are a couple kissing technique tips you want to keep in mind. First, you get better at kissing by copying good kissers. Kiss alot of girls, note what they did that felt good, and copy it to try on the next girl. Chances are if it turned you on, it will turn someone else on too. Because girls are generally much better kissers than guys, it’s better to learn from them than from a guy. Second, ramp up contact gradually. When you first start kissing a girl, don’t immediately give massive amounts of tongue. As time goes on, slowly introduce more and more tongue and then some biting and then whatever other move you want to try. Third, keep your hands moving. Kissing is a great distraction to let your hands do some exploration. Let them slowly roam her body to amplify the experience. Cup one hand on her face like you see in the movies. Run your hand over her hair and hold the back of her head as you lead the kiss. If you are sitting down, start thinking about introducing your hand to her upper thigh, rubbing it slowly. This is an important move for later. If you are reasonably certain she is not going to kiss you on the same night (she keeps moving away when you get close), think about ending the interaction with a number before it gets stale. There is little benefit in continuing indefinitely without the possibility of physical escalation because more things can go wrong than right.

The Venue Change

A venue change occurs when you move with her to another location. The advantage of moving is that it deepens your connection; now you two are together and technically on a date. But logistics can make this move hard to pull off. If she is with friends, it will be hard to get them all on board for the move because they’ll each have their own agenda. And if it’s late and you are already at the peak venue having a fun time, the likelihood of moving to another bar or club approaches zero. Venue changes are easier to pull when you are at places that serve as a night’s warm-up spot. If you are at a small dive bar and tell the girl about this really awesome club across the street, there is a good chance that she will come. This fact produces a possible strategy: start the night at a small place hoping to venue change girls into your main venue nearby. The likelihood of a one night stand goes up dramatically if you can squeeze in a venue change or two because they distort time and makes her feel like she has known you longer than she actually has. It’s a strategy we will use with dating. There are two main ways to execute the venue change. The first is selling the venue. Tell her that you and your buddy are planning to go somewhere else, and without trying to be too convincing, imply that it’s a good place you think will be better than the current venue. Example: "My friend and I are thinking of going to this bar a couple blocks away. We had a lot fun there last time so I think it’s going to be good tonight. Their music is pretty good." Keep it simple without sounding like an advertisement. If she wants to go but her friends don’t, she’s not going anywhere. It’s not a big deal and you can continue the conversation since saying "thinking of going" doesn’t nail you down to immediately leaving. Still, it’s a good idea to attempt the venue change only if there is a high chance of you leaving soon, because staying the rest of the night may send the signal that you are altering your plans because of her. The last thing you want to do is follow her around in the hopes of gaining her favor. She needs to follow your lead instead. If she doesn’t go along with the venue change and you are leaving, get the number. The second venue change technique is selling the possibility of good times. You usually use this at the end of the night when the bars or clubs are closing and you want to go for the one night stand. You let your girl know that even though the place is closing, you still want to continue the night somewhere else. You are going to put on the appearance that you are still full of energy and don’t want to go to bed yet. Start with your girl by saying, "Are you still trying to hang out? I mean, are you going home to sleep now or are you trying to keep the night going? I think I can use at least another drink." If you are with a friend, you can add how this night is important since you two haven’t hung out in a while or since you are celebrating something like a job promotion. Make it sound like this night is more special than normal. If you have recently traveled somewhere exotic, add, "When I was in Rome, the party didn’t get started until this time. It’s strange that here it’s the time when things end." Avoid the temptation to venue change into a place that sells food. Eating tends to dull the alcohol buzz and it makes girls tired, especially late-night food (pizza, gyros, burgers). That delicious grease acts like a tranquilizer. What you want to do is steer the party to her house. Set up a smokescreen by asking a lot of questions that give the appearance you are reluctant to go to her place. Ask her what type of music and alcohol she has and if her place is nice. Say you are a little hungry and ask her what type of food she has. Make it seem like her answers are barely acceptable to your discriminating tastes. Example: "That’s all you got? Hmm I guess that’s okay." It’s like she wants you to come but you are not sure if her place is good enough.

Now here is where it gets tricky: without asking if you can come over, assume that she said yes and start to work on the transportation logistics. Ask her how she got here and then plan aloud about ways everyone is getting back to her place. Say something like, "Actually my car is a block away―I can drive," or, "The subway stop is this way right? How many blocks away is it?" or, "Okay I can flag down a taxi. Let me see if I have some cash." At this point she may have a mini-conference with her friend, if she is still with one, to decide on the issue. Continue to stay relaxed about it and not seem like you are in a hurry―you are all just friends going to hang out at someone’s place, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Friends don’t have to convince friends to hang out. If she doesn’t want you to come over, she will give you an excuse that lets you know her answer is a no, like her house is dirty or she has houseguests. She will never give an explicit yes―you must assume it unless she makes it clear otherwise. If you are trying to get her to your place instead, use the strategy where you say you have something in your house that makes continuing the fun possible. Then add a restriction that makes it seem like you are reluctant to have her over so it doesn’t seem like sex is inevitable. Say, "How about you come over for a little bit, we listen some good music, and have a drink. Nothing too late though cause I have to get up early." Tell her you will get her home after about an hour. But of course you go for it all once you get her in your bedroom. It took me some time to get comfortable with venue changing to her place or mine. I used to think not enough trust was established and there was no way she’ll let a strange guy she just met a couple hours ago take her somewhere alone, that I probably was going to murder or rape her. But this isn’t the case―if the girl thinks you are a murderer or rapist she won’t spend time talking to you. When a girl declines a venue change, it’s either because of logistics or because she doesn’t want to appear as a slut. The girls who do get turned off by your one night stand attempt are the ones who would take a long time to get into bed anyway. The attempt screens out those girls who aren’t serious about sex. Plus, having a sexual intent by using physical touching and the desire to isolate makes it clear that friendship is not in the cards. She will just walk away from you before settling into a friendship, which you are not interested in. Going for sex early is win-win: if she submits to your moves then you get laid, and if not then you can move onto the next girl without wasting valuable time. Let’s assume that you didn’t get the venue change and got the number instead. You give her a hug and maybe a kiss goodbye. Then you go home and think about her before you go to bed (because she’s hot), imagining how great it would be if you get with her. You even imagine notching up your belt since she showed so much interest in you with that "Don’t forget to call me" goodbye. It’s like your entire life can change from just meeting this one girl and getting her number. Then you call her, leave a message, and never hear from her again. Ah yes, welcome to middle game, the most frustrating part of game where sure things turn out to be nothings. If you were able to venue change into her place the same night, then advance to Boardwalk because late game awaits you.

MIDDLE GAME

Most phone numbers will go nowhere. You’re doing incredible if half the numbers you get result in a first date. That says that even when your game gets really good, you will still get rejected and have prospects that don’t convert. So step back and look at the big picture: one prospect will mean very little in the grand scheme of things. The worst thing you can do is get excited over a number or a make-out because it sets you up for frustration if the number is fake or she doesn’t call back. But there is a difference between being a pessimist and a realist. A pessimist would think that no girl likes him, that no girl will ever call him back and this whole game thing is a waste of time because nothing good will happen. Pessimistic thoughts lead to inaction. On the other hand, a realist understands that while most prospects will go nowhere, to reach those successes that make the game worthwhile you need to endure and keep at it. A realist thinks, "I will try my best with this girl and have a good time, but I will not care or get upset if it goes nowhere because that’s just how the game is. I’ll get it next time."

Date Venues

Before you call a girl, you first need to know where you are going to take her. Date venues can be separated into two categories: chill and loud. Chill venues are generally quieter and allow for a conversation-heavy date while loud venues have noise or busy action that reduces conversation. I do first dates on weekdays at chill venues because I want to strengthen the foundation with conversation and see if a girl is worthy for a primetime slot on the weekend, where my time is more valuable and costs are higher. My chill venue spots consist of a café and bar that is within walking distance of each other. Instead of a café, an independent coffee shop is also fine, but Starbucks is too mainstream to be acceptable. At the café I usually get dessert like pastry, cake, or s’mores, spend about 45-60 minutes talking, and then venue change to the "real" date location, which is a nearby bar that is quiet, low-traffic, and has few distractions. Since we know that venue changes are powerful in making it seem like you’ve known each other for longer than you have, we are going to incorporate that technique into our first dates. Taking her to a café and then a bar really feels like going on two dates in the time of one. If there are only bars near you and no cafés, meet up with her at a mediocre bar as the first venue and then transition to a better one for the second. If you live in an isolated area and don’t have many venue options, you won’t be able to do the first date venue change. While two first date venues are optimal, it is not required. Don’t do restaurant dates with a girl you haven’t banged. No ex-ceptions. Dinner dates are awkward, cliché, and expensive. You don’t need or want them in your dating life. Let the betas feed her instead. I have never understood the draw of sitting across from a girl for hours in a crowded dining area with a physical separator limiting my touching options. Don’t do coffee dates. Unless you have something planned afterwards, there will be no making out in the coffee house. In the history of dating, there has never been a first kiss in the coffee shop. Coffee is a safe date for girls because they know it’s a place that makes it almost impossible for guys to escalate their game. They do coffee dates for practice and attention because it’s so easy for them, but for you it’s a waste of time. Don’t do movie dates, the number one worst date idea in the world. If you are going to sit next to a girl with a physical divider between you while staring at a screen in silence, you might as well take her to dinner where you can at least talk. Always decline a girl’s suggestions to dinner, coffee, or a movie. Feel free to let her know you dislike those venues because they make it hard for two people to get to know each other naturally. Once you have picked a centrally located café within walking distance to the second venue, you have all the information you need to call her.

Phone Game

Middle game starts with the phone, a modern invention that is supposed to make it easier for two people to communicate. But it does the opposite for us because women have taken its very simple purpose and turned it into a complicated beast they use to screen men and get attention. With the popularity of text messaging, simple and direct phone communication becomes even harder. It took me a while to master the phone because, like most other guys, I’m the type of person who prefers face-to-face communication. I don’t like holding this plastic device to my ear without being able to see facial expressions. But poor results with email make the phone something we cannot avoid. Just like with approaching, practice is going to be important: it’s not a bad idea to get numbers of girls who you are not completely interested in just to get them on the phone. Because you will be less nervous on the phone with experience, practicing on these girls will help give you enough confidence and skill to be competent on the phone with someone you do like. If you have zero phone game experience and the first number you get is a girl who you want to impregnate, I guarantee you will bomb spectacularly. It would be like someone doing heart surgery without ever having seen a heart before. Success in either case can be attributed to luck instead of skill. The first issue in phone game is when to call back. I’ve tried everything: calling the same night, next day, two days, three days, four days, five days, and so on up to two weeks. Accounting as best as I can for variables such as interest level, sooner tends to be better. The sweet spot that is soon but isn’t interpreted as needy is calling back within 2-4 days. If she showed interest in you and was receptive to your game or you made out with her, call in two days. If you got lukewarm interest, call in two days. If she seemed cold and displayed no interest at all, but still gave her number, how about… two days. Or do all these calls in three days. Or four. Whatever, just pick two, three or four, stick with it for a while, and then try one of the other lengths of time. You are going to end up picking a number that you feel most comfortable with instead one that you can prove is better than another. (As of this writing I’m a big fan of two days.) You start to get into issues when you go above four days because then you risk disturbing momentum and energy levels. If you take so long to call that she concludes you won’t call her, she will be less excited when you do call because she already "moved on."

One exception to the 2-4 day rule is you want to avoid calling her for the first time on a Friday or Saturday. Girls want to put on the appearance that they are popular or busy, so there is a lower chance she will answer or call you back in a reasonable amount of time if you call her on these two days. Therefore, if you meet a girl on Wednesday, call her on Sunday. If you meet a girl on Tuesday, call on Thursday. Monday meets can be called by Thursday. The last logistical issue is what time to call her. The best time to call a girl for the first time is between 8-9PM. I find this to be a time when girls are winding down their day and doing nothing important enough that would prevent them from returning your call in a timely manner.

Your main goal with the first phone call is to set a date. It’s not to build attraction or increase rapport or make her think you are an amazing guy―it is simply to get her to agree to a meet. That means your phone conversation will be short, about 3-10 minutes in length. If you find yourself nervous when you are about to call, chill out because odds are she will not answer the phone. Girls very rarely answer phone calls from numbers they don’t know, especially as they get into their twenties. And because she is going to have a cell phone service where you can follow prompts to redo the voicemail you leave, there is no reason to be nervous when you first call. Even if she has your number in her phone, she still won’t answer the first time you call. I firmly believe in leaving a message if she doesn’t pick up the phone. This lets her know that you aren’t playing phone games and see no reason why she wouldn’t call back. It also forces her to put in a bare minimum amount of effort in keeping the interaction going. The best voice message shows you aren’t so insecure about not getting a call back that you try to overcompensate by reciting a joke or story. Keep it simple. Here is the message I leave for all situations, which I say with an upbeat tone at a relaxed pace.

Hey Melanie, it’s Roosh… it’s Thursday at 9PM… give me a call when you get the chance… my cell phone number is (240) 3804818.

A girl has made up her mind on whether she is going to call you back before you even pick up the phone. There is no message in the world that will make the girl call you back when she already decided not to, but there are messages you can leave which can change her mind and stop her from calling you back. In the case of voice messages, boring is better. Our simple voice message avoids the pitfalls of a typical bad message, like the previously mentioned joke or story drop and also self-descriptions that insinuate you are forgettable. Bad message example: "Hey it’s Steve, from Friday night at the bar, with the striped shirt, just calling to say...." If she gave you her number she is already interested to you (or was at the moment she gave it). Until you see her again in person you can only do more to harm than help. Once you leave a message, put your phone down and go occupy your mind with something else. You’re expecting a call, not waiting for one. Get on with your life and don’t worry about if your phone has a strong enough signal or if your ringer is loud enough for you to hear it. If you are doing things that you wouldn’t do if you were expecting a buddy of yours to return a call, then you need to take a step back by turning off your ringer and hiding your phone until the next morning. You give too much power to the girl if you eagerly await her call. It’s okay if you don’t answer when she calls because she won’t mind a couple back-and-forths on the phone. In fact, you can build that into future messages: "Hey it’s Roosh again. Phone tag… you’re it!"

It’s a very positive sign if she calls you back within an hour. If she is going to call you back, it’s usually going to be within three hours. If she doesn’t return your call that same night, she will likely never call you back. So by hour three you know where you stand with her. If she calls you soon after you leave a message, go ahead and answer. If she calls back the next day, don’t answer and see if she gives an excuse in her voicemail. At the least she can give show you she feels bad about her flakey behavior. You may be tempted to complain to her for taking extra time to call you back, but don’t. You can complain more after you’ve had sex with her, after she is more heavily invested in you.

If you end up playing phone tag, take your time when it’s your turn to call her back. If she takes a day to call back after your first call, don’t answer and take at least an hour to return her call. You don’t want to make the game worse by taking longer to call back than she did, but you also don’t want to seem like you are at her beck-and-call while she takes her time. If you leave her a message, expect her to leave one too. I don’t recommend calling girls back who don’t leave a message because it says that she is not even willing to put in the same amount of effort as you are. If she is serious about seeing you then she will assume your phone was out of service when she called and try again later. If not then you can try calling back and not leaving a message, but odds are the interaction will deteriorate from there. If she doesn’t end up calling you back, chalk up the overall experience as something that will help make you a better player. I’ve tried lots of things to save a number but all experiments kept coming back to the same conclusion: if she doesn’t call you back after your initial message, it’s over. You will be frustrated and tempted to analyze the pick-up to see what you did wrong, but this is useless because there could in fact be nothing you did wrong. Girls are fickle and change their minds for no apparent reason, so you shouldn’t rack your brain trying to understand them. Not getting a call-back is a normal part of the game that is common with every player I’ve met. This is why we push for sex the very same night we see her. While we don’t let on to a girl that we think she is going to flake (we put on the attitude that assumes the interaction will continue), we take advantage of those early situations where our probability of success is highest. Think about this way: it is possible you could have gotten sex from a girl the same night you met that otherwise wouldn’t even call you back if you just settled for her number. You strike when the iron is hot, and the iron is hottest when you meet her. When it’s time to talk to her on the phone, have two conversation threads ready. They are important to have because silence on the first phone call is even more awkward than after an approach. A good first thread is an action that is recent or currently occurring. Maybe you went to the gym, grocery store, coffee shop, movie, friend’s house, happy hour, or going away party. After you exchange initial hello’s, start the conversation with something like, "I just got back from…"

Maybe you can joke about how you went to the gym and destroyed your chest. Or maybe you just came from the coffee shop where you read this interesting book. Or maybe you just saw a cheesy movie. Or maybe you just met a long-lost friend at a bar. Or maybe you just went to the store and bought this ironic t-shirt. I usually call girls when I’m about to cook (I eat late), so they call me back while I’m cooking. I start the conversation by telling them how I’m preparing this "gourmet" meal from my Betty Crocker cookbook. This purpose of this initial thread is just to get a nice, basic conversation started. Odds are she will get into what she has been recently doing as well. The second thread will be a random idea, thought, or interesting question that flows naturally from your initial thread. For instance, if you are talking about the gym, you can probably transition into a joke about how meatheads in tight shirts make you feel skinny and weak. If you are talking about the coffee shop, move onto how you are concerned about the hormones in your latte and might move to soy milk instead. If you were talking about a movie, bring up how you are thinking of subscribing to Netflix because mainstream flicks don’t do it for you anymore. If you just visited your family and were talking about your brothers and sisters, say how they look up to you and how you aim to be their role model. Keep it light and fun without introducing any serious or heavy topics. You don’t want to push heavy topics on the phone because she can’t see your facial expressions or body language and may take your words the wrong way. Don’t introduce controversial personal beliefs or say anything that conflicts with her existing image of you. The main idea is not to do anything that gives her doubt to see you again. Sometimes you will come across a chatty girl who enjoys talking on the phone, pushing the conversation’s length into several minutes. Go along with the flow, but keep in mind that having a first conversation that goes beyond ten minutes accomplishes very little. Save it for the first date instead. The more time you spend talking on the phone the higher chance you will say something damaging. Remember: most girls make dating a big deal so they will analyze everything you say with their friends to see if there is something important behind it, especially when she isn’t sure about you yet. The less you have to say, the less she can analyze. There will be a 10% chance she will answer the phone when you first call her. If she does answer the phone, say, "Hey, it’s Justin," and ask her how she’s doing. Then after she replies hit her with your first conversation thread. There will be times when a girl answers your first call but realizes she doesn’t want to talk to you. What she’s going to do is say, "Hey let me give you a call back, I’m doing blah blah blah," before one minute of conversation. Of course this is bullshit because she wouldn’t have answered her phone from an unknown number if she was not ready to talk. You will be tempted to say something like, "Oh okay call me back when you get the chance." Instead just say,"Alright bye," and hang up the phone. It’s over. A silence will occur after the second thread dies out. Instead of starting a new topic, say, "So what is your schedule like during the week?" You don’t want to take a stab in the dark by suggesting a day or night for the date before you have an idea of her availability. After she tells you her work hours or when she has her nightly yoga class, suggest a day and general time when she would probably be free. Say, "How about we hang out on Thursday night?" Don’t give an exact time yet. Hopefully if all went well, she will say something like, "Sounds good, where and what time?" Then suggest one of your quiet venues by saying, "How about we start at…" If she doesn’t mention anything about transportation, the assumption is you don’t need to pick her up. From the position of getting back to her place or yours, you don’t want her to drive to meet you out because she would be independently mobile and less likely to carpool with you after the date. You want her to either walk, take public transportation, or have you pick her up, but you can’t push to pick her up first because your sex agenda may come across too strong. If she thinks out-loud about how she’s going to get there, say, "Let me know if you need a ride," which is an indirect way to make a ride offer. Only let her pick the venue if you have to go into her neighborhood due to her lack of transportation. Assuming you don’t know anything about her area, ask her if she knows a quiet place with comfortable seating, but if you are familiar with the area then go ahead and pick. If she doesn’t like your first choice then make another suggestion. If she doesn’t like that one either then tease her that you’ve never had a first date try to take on the role of the man by picking the place before.

If the date is one or two days away, suggest a time after you’ve settled on the place. If your date is three or more days away, we need to have a defense from getting stood up since many things can happen in those three or more days where she might change her mind without bothering to let you know. In that case you want to tell her you aren’t absolutely sure of the time yet but will call her that day. Example:

"Okay, so Thursday at Moe’s Café sounds good. I’m thinking around 8:30 but I’m not sure what time I’ll get out of work. Let me call you when I get out, but let’s aim for around 8:30." On the day of the date, call her a couple hours before the proposed time and have a quick conversation that goes something like, "Hey how are you… I just got out of work... 8:30 will work for me… see you then." If she doesn’t answer her phone, leave a quick message that just says to call you back, without leaving any details of the pending date. If she doesn’t call back, congratulations in saving yourself from getting stood up. While getting stood up does not feel good, I think every guy needs to get stood up a couple times to learn about the type of girl that he needs to avoid. It’s common to all players so don’t get upset when it happens ― just delete her phone number and move on. If you are planning a date that is one day away, the flake defense move is not necessary. For dates two days away I don’t do flake defense unless I get a vibe based on my experience that she has a flakey type of personality. Once you’ve set a time and place, all that’s left is showing up for the date.

Text Communication

Text messaging is a waste of time that makes it harder for you to get laid. When a girl I just met suggests I use text messaging to communicate with her, I tell her that my phone has troubles with text messaging and it’s not dependable for me. Like email, text messaging is a tool that lets her get attention from many suitors while putting little effort in return. She can take her time and decide whether to respond or not. This is why if you go into a club or bar late at night, many girls will be staring in their phone receiving text messages from guys who are tiring their thumbs in an attempt to bang. Don’t be that guy.

Email is just as bad, but it does have its uses such as when you are traveling abroad. Otherwise, there is no reason to take her email address without getting her phone number. In the rare case where an email address is all you got, treat it like how you would the phone. Send her a short email within 2-4 days. Do not introduce any new stories and definitely do not run complicated routines. And just like with phone, don’t try to jog her memory by trying to explain who you are. In your first email, say what you are up to, make a reference to meeting her, and then suggest a date. Stay under fifty words. Example:

Subject:boo!

If she wants to have a drink with you then she’ll write back promptly. Otherwise you will get no response or a lame excuse about how she is busy. If she gives you a positive reply, answer whatever questions she posed and then end your second, still short email with, "I was thinking maybe later this week. What is your phone number?"

Call her within a day of her reply and just follow the standard phone game procedure to set a date. If a girl gives me bullshit about wanting to only talk through email, I write back something snippy about not wanting to be Internet pen-pals and let her come after me if she really is interested. It’s up to you whether you want to play the email game, but you will find that it rarely pays off. The main reason I advise against emails is that it unnecessarily lengthens the time until you see her again. If you are going to have to get her phone number anyway, might as well get it in the beginning. The time it takes to set up a date on the phone: five minutes. Through email: two or more days.

The First Date

Since it takes a handful of numbers to get just one date, you may feel some pressure to perform well on the dates you do go on. But you shouldn’t. Dates are much easier than when you first met her because you already have her attention and don’t need to compete with her friends or other guys. Plus, silences are more welcome. If a girl agreed to a date, that means she already likes you and you just have to eke out a respectable performance to get some action. Don’t make it harder on yourself by scheduling a first date with a group or another couple. Resist if she tries to invite you to a party with her friends and be suspicious if she runs into a friend during the date. You want the first date to be in isolation or you are back to when you first met her, competing for her attention and dealing with cockblockers. As for what to wear on the first date, I’d lean towards dress on the conservative side of your wardrobe. Many times I go out at night with friends wearing bold colors or funny t-shirts to stand out and get some attention, but on date nights this is not necessary. Jeans and decent shoes are fine. Dress simple, but nice. Some guys prepare for a date by loading up on caffeine and getting pumped up with music, but a first date is not a high-energy affair―it’s just you sitting next to a person talking for several hours. If you are going to do a lot of talking on a date then the best way to prepare is to do some talking. Call a couple friends before your date and have conversations to put you in a talkative state. As you are walking, driving, or subwaying to this date, remind yourself that the goal is to have sex with her. It’s not to impress her with your amazing qualities, wow her with conversation, induce hysterical laughter, or make out with her―it’s to bang her. While you will probably make her laugh or have awesome conversation, these are notyour ends. Not until you bang her can you focus on other things you may want, like relationships, regular sex, anal sex, threesomes, and so on. You want to get sex out of the way as quickly as possible so you can get past all the silly games and bullshit women tend to play before sex occurs. You are going to follow a tested and easy process to go from this first date into her pants no later than the third date. Start off the date on the right foot―by being late. Even if you get to the venue early, walk around or sit in your car so you can be late by 5-10 minutes. The reason ties into an idea already discussed: you want the girl to focus on herself. Because most girls are insecure, she will start to worry that she is being stood up. She gets anxious feelings that focus on your arrival instead of whatever doubt she had about coming out to see you. When you do finally arrive, she will probably be on the phone with a friend to reduce her anxiety. Give her an enthusiastic "Hi!" and a quick hug to start the date. Under no circumstance should you bring a gift such as flowers or candies on dates. She will peg you as a beta if you start with the cliché romantics before a serious relationship develops. Begin a date conversation like how you would start one on the phone. After you hug her, ask her how she is doing and launch into a conversation thread about something recent or present. Maybe something interesting happened on the drive over, like you had to run over someone to get a parking space. Or maybe you got lost, had to stay late at work, or just took a hard exam. As long as it happened today, talk about it like you would to a close friend. Then naturally she will go into something interesting that happened in her day. This first thread breaks the ice and relaxes you both. We want to start with basic threads and move up in complexity as the date progresses. You’ll notice I gave a way to start the date without accounting for whether you kissed her or not in your previous encounter. That’s because even if you did kiss her beforehand, you can’t just greet her with your tongue―you have to "start over" again and rebuild the energy from the last time you saw her. It’s like re-priming a pump. When it comes to the first date, the only difference that prior kissing makes is towards the end of the date, when you are most likely to get farther. If you are starting the date at a café, get a dessert and water. Coffee won’t make a lot of sense if you are going to drink afterwards. When you are both looking at the menu, tell her, "We’ll start here and then I know this place down the street we can go to next." Recommend something good to her if you have been to the café before. Spend your time at the café with typical getting-to-know-you conversation. Talk about your jobs, your background, childhood pets, favorite foods, likes, dislikes, hobbies, countries you’ve visited, and whatever else you think an average girl considers important in getting to know someone. When you first meet her it’s better to focus on more interesting and higher energy threads that set a good first impression, but now you can spend time to build rapport, where there is discussion on commonalities and personal backgrounds. Even if there is only a physical attraction between you two, make an effort to at least feign interest in who she is as a person. Verbally acknowledge similarities you may have, no matter how minor. If you both love macaroni and cheese, stop just short of suggesting you might be soulmates. During getting-to-know-you conversation, avoid making it seem like an interview. Both of you should be conversing and asking questions and it should flow naturally without much effort, because after all, you two barely know each other and have decades of combined experiences, interests, and knowledge to discuss. Use the tail end of one thread to launch into another. For instance, if you are talking about careers, the future may come up which lets you talk about what exciting things you really want to do. Talking about your dreams may touch upon something like travel where you discuss your favorite international cities. Talking about your favorite international cities may lead to a story about a certain club you loved. Talking about a certain club you loved may remind you of your nightlife culture opinions. Talking about nightlife culture may touch on alcohol and your bartending knowledge or favorites drinks. Talking about your favorite drinks may lead to a discussion of food where you talk about your failures or successes with cooking. Talking about cooking may lead to mention of your dirty kitchen and the sloppy roommates you live with. Talking about sloppy roommates may lead to a conversation about renting a place versus buying one. Talking about renting may lead to a conversation about how you know friends who still live at home with their parents. Talking about your friends’ parents may lead to a conversation about your own parents and funny things they do. Talking about your parents may lead to your childhood and an interesting thing you did in the first grade. Talking about the first grade may lead to what you think about kids and your little sibling. Talking about your little sibling may lead to a conversation about fuzzy pets and how you had a hamster that died of natural causes. Talking about your dead hamster may lead to a conversation about how your favorite movie had a hamster, and discussion of your favorite movies in general. You get the idea.

If you go with the flow, conversations with total strangers you have nothing in common with can go on forever just by hopping through threads. Just keep The Vibe in mind and be chatty within your comfort level without forcing out awkward statements that sound like you are trying too hard. There is no more you can do to prepare because it’s not practical to memorize material for a several hour date. People will say that you shouldn’t talk about God or politics on dates, but this is not an absolute rule. If you have the same stance on God or politics, talking about it can strengthen your bond. What you want to do is probe the topic and make an educated guess on if you share the same beliefs before you actually bring it up in a serious way. For instance, if you ask a girl if she goes to church regularly and she says yes, it would not be safe to discuss your atheist beliefs until after you bang her. ("I’m not very religious but I keep an open mind" has come out of my mouth several dozen times on first dates.) If you ask her who she voted for in the last Presidential election and she says the name of a the guy you hate, it would not be safe to talk about politics. Even if you have the same viewpoints on these topics, just glaze over them for a minute or two because religion and politics are the most asexual topics you can discuss. After about 45-60 minutes of talking, get ready to move to the second venue. (If there is no second venue, just ramp down getting-toknow-you conversation and gradually change gears for the next stage.) When you get the check, I recommend you pay without making a big deal about it. On the first date, where you invite her out to venues of your choosing, the most logical and natural move is to pay. Hopefully she at least offers to pay her share. Even if it’s an insincere offer, it’s a positive sign that show the girl is at least trying to match our effort. If she offers, say, "No it’s fine, I got it. You can get me next time."

Remember back to discussion of the four key moves? So far we talked about two: the staring contest and the hair stroke. The next one we are going to do is the arm-in-arm move. Perform this move on the walk over to the second venue. Simply stick out your elbow to the side your date is on and form a hook for her to grab. Most girls know what this means and make an instinctual response by putting her arm through yours. If she doesn’t pick up on your cue then very gently nudge her with your elbow and make an exaggerated throat-clearing sound. If she still doesn’t get it, which will be rare, say how your mom is one-fourth French and she taught to walk arm-in-arm from a young age. It’s not critical to keep the arm-in-arm hold for the entire walk to the second venue, but do it for at least a couple minutes. While this move seems innocent on the surface, it’s a intimate gesture that that is just shy of hand-holding.

Changing Gears

The fun starts at the second venue, which you want to serve alcohol in seating arrangements that make it possible to sit right next to her. A comfortable couch or booth is preferable. You don’t want any physical space separating you two. After you order and take your first sips, take a deep breath and relax because this is going to be the easiest time with your girl yet. Earlier in the night we focused on informational conversation, but now we are going to move more into humor and opinion. Ask if she believes in astrology and claim you read her horoscope today. Recite a couple vague statements and end it with something surprisingly accurate, like, "You will be especially social tonight…" Go into your ideas about life, people, work, and man―the things you believe that make you who you are. Keep it positive. Let her know what you are passionate about. Silences on your part now show your relaxed, confident nature. When they happen, instead of filling them like you have before, maintain relaxed eye contact with her for several seconds and then sit back and sip your drink while observing other patrons of the bar. Play a guessing game on whether you two can guess if the couple across the bar is in a relationship or not, and for how long. We’re at the point where half the silences should be broken by her.

Before you finish your first drink, perform the fourth key move: the fake palm read. You introduce the move by telling her that you know how to read palms. You will not meet a girl who does not love getting her palm read. Make up a story about how your mom trained to be the best palm-reader in town. She is going to doubt your ability to read palms but insist that you are very accurate. Nest her hand in one of yours and have your other hand ready to trace her palm. The effectiveness of this move is not in the actual reading, which is bogus, but the hand touching. If you look at couples in public, what are they usually doing? Holding hands. The three lines on a person’s palm are life, money, and love (I think, but it doesn’t matter). When you get to each line, all you have to do is feed back information she has already told you, under the guise that you are "reading" her fortune. So if she works in a law firm trying to move up the ladder, say, "Okay, your line says that you are very ambitious and want to do law, maybe? Yes, law, and you want to be a really important person in your firm." When she accuses you of not reading her fortune, smile and say, "No way, it’s all in the hand. It’s right there!" Pretend you are offended she thinks you are not a reputable palm reader. She may even snatch her hand away but grab it back and continue, asking her to stop disturbing the psychic energy. Go on for a couple minutes while you squint at her hand and hold it up to view at different angles. The only part you want to memorize is the love line analysis, which goes last. Say, "Okay it says here that you are going to meet a really cool guy." Then describe yourself!

She will laugh and give you a look, but continue to feign innocence like you are an impartial palm reader. After the palm read, give her an extended eye contact and top it off with a smirk. The fake palm read sets you up for the single arm move. Put your arm behind her and gently wrap around her lower back, ending at her waist. This is a very obvious move that basically says, "Hey, look at me, I’m making a move!" but remember our physical moves do not have to be subtle. If she is engaging you on this date and not answering her phone every five minutes, not burping loudly, and not recoiling away when you make any type of physical contact, she will welcome the single arm move and get ready for you to kiss her. Girls who don’t want to be kissed, on the other hand, will act fidgety, nervous, distracted, and will keep reminding you of the time because she has to go soon. If your arm can’t get through because she is sitting too far back, just ask her to move up a little so you can put your arm through. It’s that simple. By now you’ve both had a couple drinks so sitting back with your date is just the natural thing to do. You know how in the movies guys do the exaggerated yawn to get his arm around a girl?

You can do that too for a laugh. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Now your hand will gently cup the side of her ass for the rest of the night.

As more alcohol enters your system, it will become exceedingly difficult to have intelligent conversation. There will be more silences, more eye contact, and shorter exchanges that are playful in nature. You can even remark on how your ability for smart conversation is diminishing. This would be a good time to run the "strawberry game."

When I go into any date, the only things I remind myself to do is the arm-in-arm move, fake palm read move, single arm move, and strawberry game. I can screw up or forget the other things but these four are like milestones that help me stay on task for the first kiss and beyond.

But realize that there is no single essential move you must do―they are each a drop in the bucket that contributes to the overall vibe you are trying to accomplish. Think of each move as increasing your odds of success by a few percentage points, a number too small to determine your fate. While I don’t want to sound like a total moron in nonscripted parts of the date, regular conversation doesn’t have to be award-winning and perfect. If she is attracted to you, which she is because she showed up on this date, comfortable with you, and you were able to run a couple moves, intimacy is mostly guaranteed. Even on bad dates where it was assumed there wouldn’t be a second, my dates were still down for make-outs at the end.

The Strawberry Game

The strawberry game is an example of kokology, a Japanese pseudo-science that is supposed to tell you things you didn’t know about yourself by answering situational questions. For instance, if I ask you to walk through the woods and tell me what it’s like, and you say it’s like a tropical rainforest, then that means you are ambitious and always looking for adventure. Silly, right? But these types of games, like palm reading and horoscopes, are like crack to a woman. They are effective at getting her relaxed and in an imaginative mood, helping her forget about the problems of everyday reality. They also increase rapport and add to the I’ve-known-you-longer-than-I-reallyhave feeling. After getting through telling you that kokology is silly, I want to state that the strawberry game is sort of accurate. I’ve done it on at least fifty girls and from my experience a pattern emerges that gives weight to the analysis, especially with the first two questions. While this is a fun quiz to do in its own right, I do it for my benefit as much as the girl’s. To introduce the game, say, "Hey there is this fun game I know that is going to tell me things about you." She’ll be curious. Then go ahead and start: "Okay imagine yourself in a field. It’s a Spring day and you are in a cute Spring outfit, and you are walking through on this really nice day. Birds are circling around you and it just feels comfortable. Off in the distance you see a strawberry field, a sea of green and red, and since you like strawberries, you start walking up to this field. You walk for what seems like a long time and finally you get to the field. How high is the fence around the strawberry field?" If she isn’t sure, say, "How high is it in your mind―there doesn’t have to be a fence if you don’t see one." Continue: "So you go inside this strawberry field and walk down the rows of strawberries. You notice they are big, juicy, and ripe. I mean, these are the best strawberries you’ve ever seen in your life. How many do you pick and eat right there?" The last question: "Alright so you ate the strawberries and are very satisfied. You are walking out of the strawberry field but then the farmer stops you. He accuses you of eating his strawberries without asking. What do you say to him?"

The strawberry game reveals her views on sex because strawberries represent pleasure and passion to women. There’s a very good chance she will figure that out before you are done. The height of her fence represents her barrier to something pleasurable―in other words, her vagina. An answer you want to hear is, "I don’t see a fence." Now I don’t believe in astrology or psychic power but if a girl tells you her fence is higher than four feet (waist-high), she has sexual issues that you may have already identified before administering the test. You are going to finesse the first question analysis because if her fence is low you don’t want to imply that she is a slut. Say, "The height of your fence represents your barrier to intimacy. A lower fence means you do not delay intimacy with a guy you really like, while a higher fence above four feet means you consciously postpone intimacy, for whatever reason―maybe you were hurt many times." Intimacy here means sex, but let her think it means whatever she wants it to mean. The second question represents her sexual appetite or her desire for sexual variety. Each strawberry is a single sex act with a man. If she gives an answer like, "As many as I can eat," then she is an impulsive girl who has had her share of good times with men. Say, "The number of strawberries you eat represents your sexual appetite. A low number means you are generally satisfied with men while a high number means you are not currently satisfied and your sex life is not what you imagined it to be." Since a majority of girls give a high number, I like telling her the bad news that she is not sexually satisfied because she will be staring at me ― the potential solution! Tell her the answer to her third question represents what she says to a man after sex. Most girls say "I’m sorry" or "Thank you, they were delicious." The answer to this question is fun but it doesn’t appear to correlate to any real-life behavior. After the strawberry game, you are going to be pushing towards hour three of the date. Stop for a moment to think about where you stand. Is she participating in the conversation by engaging you and asking you questions? Is she laughing at your jokes, even the lame ones? Is she not recoiling when you touch her? Is she not increasing the physical space between you two? Is she not making persistent excuses about having to leave to go home? The answer to all of these questions do not have to be yes to proceed and escalate, but take note of the general trend―are things getting better or worse? If things are getting better and she is warming up to you and appears more relaxed and comfortable, then you should go for the kiss while at the second venue, whether you have kissed her before or not.

Date Escalation

I cannot stress how important it is to kiss her by the end of the first date. Except for one exception, a virgin, every girl I have ever had sex with was kissed by that time. If we are aiming for sex by date three, a very reasonable goal, we need to get the first kiss done quickly. Otherwise it will take much longer to get there and you will enter the very dangerous territory of committing to a girl who is probably getting what she wants (attention, validation) at your expense. Kissing a girl by the first date is such a huge and reliable predicator of upcoming sex that I don’t bother calling girls who resist it. With so many girls out there who are comfortable with intimacy, it’d be a waste of your time to go down the rabbit hole of a relationship with a girl who is going to blue ball you. You need to know how a girl is in bed before you decide to make a real investment in her, and it would be a large waste of your resources to wait until date eight or so to find out that she is a dead fish. Don’t buy the juice before you get a squeeze.

After you run your date moves and routines, you will get more horny and start thinking about banging her. Once all signs point to her enjoying your company and you enjoying hers, it’s time to bring out the hair stroke move before going in for the kiss. It’s fine if you’ve already done it on her before. Hopefully you are sitting next to her with one arm behind her and one arm free. During a natural silent moment in the conversation, maintain eye contact, get a little closer, do the hair stroke move, glance at her lips, get a little more closer until you are just a few inches away from her face, and then go in for the kiss. If she’s going to resist the kiss she will recoil during the stage where you get closer, which is highly unlikely if your arm is around her. It is also acceptable to do a couple passes where you move in and pull back once or twice to tease her, as described in-depth earlier. This is less necessary to do on the date than when kissing her on the same night you meet because the hours of talking have created a good amount of sexual tension that needs little amplification. Don’t overdo the kiss. She may interpret your desire to constantly kiss her as neediness. You always want to leave her wanting more by stopping short right before you think she is getting satisfied. If on a first date I kiss a girl for say a total of five minutes, I’d rather do it in five one-minute bursts than one five-minute session. After you pull back from the first kiss of the date (it will always be you that pulls back from kisses first), wait a good 10 minutes before you go back in again to show her that kissing is not a big deal, and resume conversation like nothing major happened. Re-entry is best when another natural silence in the conversation takes place. Feel free to throw in a couple fake-outs where you get really close like she thinks you are going to kiss her again but you pull back and continue conversation. Be unpredictable about when you end kisses―sometimes you go in for a minute, sometimes two minutes, and sometimes only twenty seconds. Save the extended make-outs for when you get her in a bedroom. You want to tease her―blue-balling yourself in the short term―to turn her on so much that she doesn’t resist when you escalate in the bedroom.

If she is not ready to be kissed at the second venue, you have two options. The first is to move the date to a third venue. I only recommend this if you think she is interested but just a little conservative or nervous, because otherwise it will be a waste of money. You begin to hit the point of diminishing return when you venue change to a third location, but it can still help break down remaining resistance. Your second option is to end the date and try to kiss her when you say goodbye. It is possible that she wants to kiss you but not in public, especially if it’s the first kiss. Get her in your car to drive her home or walk her to wherever her ride is and then try to kiss her after the hug goodnight. Since it’s not a good idea to bother contacting girls we don’t kiss by the end of the first alcohol date, it will be a do-or-die moment where you must make your best effort to kiss her even if your intent seems obvious. If you have to keep trying until she is finally forced to turn her head away, so be it. You will walk away from her on this first date knowing whether she is open to having sex soon or not. I wouldn’t stay in the final venue much longer than an hour after you kiss her because there is a danger you may stall. Alcohol mixed with the first kiss tends to kill male conversational ability, and you don’t want to ruin the moment with only silence or fall into the trap of trying to kiss her too much. Ask her if she is ready to go and then prepare for the next stage of escalation by driving or walking her home. If she drove to meet you, the date ends with you walking her to her car unless you can pull off the "Are you still trying to hang out?" venue change. Odds are you won’t succeed if she has a regular job because it’s going to be a weekday and she will have to get up early. Driving back to her place is your best scenario because you can play it like you are just dropping her home when in fact you are going to try to weasel your way inside once you get there. You may feel sleazy trying to get inside her place on the first date, but you have to do it every time because it shows her your intent is sexual in nature. If she is not open to having sex with you, it is much better you find out now. It could be possible that trying to get into her place may cost you a notch with a semi-conservative girl who would put out on date five or so, but in the long run there is a net gain in notches because it helps to quickly seal the deal with all those girls who don’t mind casual sex. You will be very surprised with how close you can get to sex on a Tuesday night first date after a couple drinks. It pays to be sleazy.

You will not let her know your intention to enter her place until you are within sight of her front door. Then you’ll pull out the most low-tech line that will even come of your mouth: "Can I use your bathroom?" This line is joked about and well-known, but it works extremely well. It works even in instances where the girl doesn’t like you. I know this because there have been cases where I would use the bathroom and the girl would literally push me out the door. I think the line works because it’s so often mocked that that no girl would believe you’d use it and not actually have to use the bathroom. It’s even versatile enough to use on the same girl for a second or third time. I don’t care if you don’t have to go use the bathroom or if there are ten gas stations with restrooms right next to her place, but you must use this line.

Regardless if you drop her home by foot or car, you will execute the "Can I use your bathroom?" line in a similar manner. After you ask, she is going to pause before giving you an answer. If her pause is unnaturally long, say, "No, really." If she doesn’t say something like

"Sure," she will give an excuse that her bathroom is dirty or her roommate is a light sleeper. Then you move on to stage two escalation with, "I have to go really bad, can you point me to a safe alley nearby then?" Say it with a slight sarcastic tone. Once you show you are serious about urinating and that her doubts are ridiculous, she will say yes about 95% of the time. If she still says no and you are in your car, move on to stage three escalation: "Okay how about this. If I can’t find a parking spot in sixty seconds then I’ll just leave, because I really have to go," then assume she said yes and start looking for a space unless she gives you a clear "no." She won’t. If you are not in your car, stage three escalation will be asking for specific public locations where you run to urinate. I’ve never had a girl say no after a stage three escalation, even if the date was mediocre. I repeat, this line has never failed me. If she lets you take her home, she will let you inside to empty your bladder. The bathroom weasel technique is like when a movie theater asks if you want to upgrade to a large soda for only thirty cents more. Sure, why not?

Getting her back in your place will be harder because you force her to decide before you’re there. It becomes less of an impulsive decision. There are a couple indirect techniques you can use to sell your place, if that is where you rather end up. The first is when you want to share something with her, like pictures or videos. Examples: "Hey why don’t we hang out at my place for a bit. I want to show you pictures from Spain," "Hey why don’t we hang out at my place so we can listen to that album I told you about," and, "Hey why don’t we hang out at my place so I can show you videos my friend shot of our last trip." The reason should be something cool you want to share that can only be experienced at your house. Don’t oversell: say it casual like it’s no big deal, as if you are telling a buddy to come over and hang out. If she hesitates to come―which she probably will―add a time constraint: "It won’t take very long. I can’t stay up late anyway because I have to get up a little early." Say this even if it’s a weekend night. Then assume she said yes and take the next step to get her back, whether it be calling the waitress to close your tab or starting to walk in the direction of someone’s car. Unless you get a firm "no" or a "I really can’t," assume she is being wishy-washy just so she doesn’t appear to be a slut. As long as you don’t grab her arm and physically pull her towards where you want to go, assuming the yes is you just being a man who knows that girls want to be led. The second technique, most likely used when you two have already consumed alcohol, is suggesting she join you for a drink at your place. You’ll use this line when you are already drinking and having a good time, so that continuing the party at your place will just be the natural thing to do. If you are at a club with a girl and you are grinding and making out with her, it is not going to be very natural to ask her to look at photos. Instead say, "Are you ready to go?" She will say yes and then when you walk out of the venue say, "Let’s get a drink at my place." You assume the yes and just start heading back to your place. If she objects, give her a time constraint. If you are unable to get her back on the first date, plan for a date two at a high-energy venue on the weekend, then repeat the attempt again. (Call her 2-3 days after the first date, regardless of the day.) You’ll be out of all routines by the second date so rely on fun conversation threads. Stay relaxed, continue to regulate your make-out sessions to keep the sexual tension high, and flow from The Vibe.

Since you haven’t had sex with her yet, refrain from compliments besides a generic "You look nice tonight" and don’t talk about your feelings for her or how she makes you happy. You have to play it cool, light, and fun until you bang her. If she makes a sincere offer to pay, let her.

The purpose of middle game is to get her inside a bedroom while gaming her in a way that lowers her resistance to sex. Even though middle game is optional, since you can go straight from meet to bedroom on the same night, it’s important for it to be your strength because a majority of quality girls are not open to one night stands. Once she’s inside your bedroom, all that’s left is sealing the deal.

LATE GAME

If you strip sex down to its physical component, it is an act whereby a man inserts a rod-shaped mass of engorged tissue into a woman’s lubricated cavity, also made of tissue. A man rubs his rod in and out, stimulating pleasure receptors until his brain decides on the right time to eject a genetic package that is important in continuing our species. Evolution tells a man’s genes to impregnate as many women as possible while telling a woman’s genes to be more choosy, since having a child for her is risky and energy intensive. Women are supposed to have sex only with men who have the resources to raise a potential child, but thanks to contraception, women now have sex with men whose children they do not want to bear. Contraception has tripped millions of years of evolution to the advantage of the man, who can have sex with a large variety of women without having to worry about having children.

What type of man gets rewarded with the most sex? An alpha male with two very important skill sets. The first skill set makes women desire him through the use of game, in the form of personality, routines, and moves. This creates attraction, trust, comfort, and rapport. While the strawberry game, for example, won’t do much on its own, it is extremely powerful in cementing sexual interest when used with other game components. The second skill set is persistence, which capitalizes on a woman’s impulsive nature. Your persistence is firm but not desperate, where you understand women need more encouragement than men when it comes to sex. If you only have the first skill set, you will have a type of "showboat" game where you can get numbers and make-outs with ease but only get laid when the girl is unusually horny and motivated. The force of your personality alone will not be able to get her in bed: only with the addition of a persistent mindset can you push all the way to the end. A girl’s job is to resist penetration, even with the worthiest of men, and continue resisting as long as possible to preserve her value. She’s afraid that by having sex with you too early, you’ll think she is an easy slut not worthy of another call. Her resistance is based more on logic than emotion since she is going against what she desires. We need to break down her resistance using subtle persuasion and mind tactics that move the decision to have sex back into the emotional realm, where she cannot help but succumb to her desire. You provide an environment where she gets "caught in the moment" and things "just happen" and "felt natural." Another way to break down resistance is to pound away like a hammer until she just gets tired and gives in. This is not an elegant approach but it works because any type of human resistance can be broken down with pressure. We’re going to use a combination of both approaches.

Once Inside

I last left off with you at her place needing to use the bathroom. It’s possible that she is at your place, wanting to see those travel pictures or to have a drink. Or maybe it’s the same night you met her and you venue changed her and her friend into a tiny apartment. The kiss has probably happened by now but if not then you can knock it out once inside, using the techniques already described. Play it cool by not immediately touching or kissing her. After you use the bathroom, explore her living space by making comments and asking questions about her books or pictures. Spend at least five minutes letting her get comfortable with you inside her place by not getting physically close. If during those five minutes she reminds you that she needs to get up early and you should get going, then that means you are not getting laid tonight. You’ll also know she doesn’t want you to stay when she leaves her shoes on and stands by the door. Simply give her a hug goodbye and make out with her a little bit, squeezing in a little ass grab if you haven’t already. Whenever you part ways with a girl, don’t tell her when you are going to call her. Instead say, "Talk to you soon," and give her a quick kiss goodbye. If she doesn’t try to kick you out in those first five minutes, she is giving you a green light to escalate, which means sex is a very real possibility. If she is showing you around the house, get behind her and place your hands on her hips as you move closer to resume touching and kissing. You could get things going in the living room and move later, but it’s in your best interests to get hot and heavy in the final destination of her bedroom so your game won’t be interrupted with having to relocate.

Getting in her bedroom could be just as difficult as getting in her place. Some girls think that if she lets you in her room sex will be inevitable, so she may resist you when you ask for a "tour" of her room. If she resists say, "Well, to me it’s important because you can tell a lot about a girl by how her room looks. For instance, the number of pillows is huge in knowing what kind of girl I’m dealing with." In a halfsarcastic tone you are making it seem like you need to see her room to really know her. We know this is blatant bullshit and she knows it’s bullshit, but it works because you are giving her a reason to let you enter her room without making it obvious that sex will happen. If she resists then just continue in the living room. If you are in your house, getting her to the bedroom will be very easy since it will be a part of your tour and it will have something that you have to show her, like the Spongebob Squarepants pillow on your bed. In theory, you shouldn’t have to work hard to get a girl horny because she should be the one to get you horny. You should just have to lay back, allow her to take off your clothes, and let her please you with deep throat blowjobs. While you will eventually sleep with many girls who like to attack you in the bedroom, it will be rare for this to happen the first time you have sex. This is why you always need to initiate the important moves of clothing removal and genital touching. She will not do it for you!

We are getting to the part of the game that is like those novels with multiple endings. There are a lot of ways to get to sex once you have her in a bedroom and it’s going to be rare you do it the exact same way twice. What I’m going to describe is a way that is natural and reliable. It includes key moves and lines to blow through resistance, but it is still going to be up to you to be aware of what’s going on and customize your moves to account for her unique likes and dislikes. If she is going crazy with pleasure over something I only mentioned in passing, you may want to give it extra attention. Once you have a girl alone and it’s clear she doesn’t mind you staying, kiss and explore her body with your hands. The ass is fair game but don’t touch her breasts or vagina yet. Massage and squeeze her inner thigh near her vagina as you make out with her. Once you get within a couple inches of her vagina, she is probably going to squeeze her legs in, something normal that you shouldn’t be concerned about. Send your mouth off to areas other than her lips, like her neck and ear. Put more passion and intensity into your kisses by adding more tongue, teeth, squeezes, and heavy breathing. You should be able to feel her enjoying the intimacy and getting more comfortable with you. This means she is not resisting by grabbing your hands and moving them off her body. Are her eyes closed to indicate she is losing herself in the moment? Is she telling you how much she likes what you are doing? Is she starting to get aggressive by nibbling on your ear or sucking on your neck? If heavy petting started in the living room, say, "I think we should go to your bedroom where it’s more comfortable."

Focus next on her breasts. While your hand is exploring her torso, you want to do a breast drive-by by simply rubbing over one of her breasts like it’s just any other part of her body. You will find that girls don’t resist breast touching because it’s similar to an ass squeeze, something you’ve already done. A couple minutes after the breast drive-by, you want to park your hand on her breast for a few seconds and give it a slight squeeze. She didn’t slap your hand off her breast, right? Now let your hands go on an a random loop of touching and rubbing which include her face, hair, breasts, torso, ass, hands, and legs. Have fun turning on both her and yourself.

Next up is her vagina. Just like with the breast, you are going to do a drive-by vagina rub with your hand over her clothes. Gauge her reaction. If she didn’t recoil, return again soon, this time pausing over the vagina and giving it more pressure. Your goal with vagina rubs, initially at least, is to help more with escalation than giving pleasure. We need her to accept this move to proceed. It’s at this stage where most guys get their first dose of resistance. When it comes to resistance, there are two types of no. The first is, "No, I wouldn’t have sex with you if the continuation of the human species depended on it," and the second is, "No, I don’t want to have sex you, yet." The former can never be overcome, but the latter can. If at any point she is resisting you―and it will be obvious when she does―you want to take a step back. Give her a little smile and then stop doing whatever you are doing to place a little bit of distance between you and her. Appear completely fine with her telling you to slow down, and then say, "I want you to be completely comfortable, so I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do." The purpose of saying this is to let her know you are a safe guy, that you have the control to stop at any time to respect her limits, and she should give serious thought to letting herself go since you are obviously an awesome teddy bear. When you pull back in the bedroom, you create an uncomfortable vacuum that begs to be filled. You cause the girl to experience a temporary feeling of insecurity that can only be relieved by her coming closer to you in the form of touching or kissing. If she doesn’t came back at you after you pull away then it’s usually a sign that things will probably not get much farther on this night. Either way, after you get resistance you want to "restart" just like you would in a video game when your character dies. In the bedroom, go back to the beginning by focusing on simple kissing and touching, redoing the moves you did before. Then when you eventually return 10-15 minutes later to the move that she resisted on, your odds of passing will be much higher. If she resists you for a second time on the exact same move, your character dies and you have to start all over again. If she resists you for a third time on the exact same move, same thing―start all over again. You keep going until you feel a weird vibe where it seems like you are going backwards instead of forwards. In many cases you will get past resistance on the second or third attempt of a certain step only to be stymied at the next one. Even though resistance is not fun to take, you want to push just a bit more than you feel comfortable with so things are easier for you on the next date. If you have her almost naked and she is resisting, simply lay next to her, relax for a few minutes, then restart with touching and kissing until she gets hot again. The teasing you have been doing prior to this bedroom moment, such as brushing against her lips and pulling back, should have lessened the amount of resistance that you would have received otherwise. Sometimes it evaporates all together. Resistance is a normal part of the game that should not discourage you. One of my first bedroom beliefs was that I needed to avoid getting resistance. I thought that a girl would like me less if she had to resist me, but this is not the case. To give you an example, there was one girl who resisted me seven times on our first date when I tried to take her panties off before I finally gave up. She was like a "no" broken record that night, but I had sex the next time I saw her after almost no resistance. Remember: girls reward aggressive guys who want to have sex with them, not timid guys who wait for pussy to fall from the sky. The restart technique can be performed indefinitely until she gives sincere complaints about your persistence that clearly shows she is getting uncomfortable. You’ll know because she’ll stop kissing and engaging you. But if she jokes around with something like, "You are an aggressive one," keep going. After you get passed the vagina rub without resistance, do the hand-on-crotch move, the most important bedroom move we have. It’s bold but extremely effective. At this point you have been doing most of the touching, but what you want to do now is open the floodgates and give her permission to be the sexual being that she really is. When one of her hands is near your waist, gently grab it and place it right on your cock over your clothes. The length of time she spends on your cock tells you what your immediate chances of banging are. If she goes at it and basically tries to give you a hand job through your clothes, there is a good chance that you will laid. But if she acts like your cock is a smoldering piece of metal that must not be touched, then you can mentally prepare for which porno clip you will masturbate to once you are home alone. You want her to spend at least ten voluntary seconds giving your cock some attention. While ten seconds doesn’t sound like a long time, it is enough so that we can proceed without cause for worry. If she doesn’t give your cock any attention, I would consider that resistance and restart from the top until you repeat the move once more.

Taking Off Her Clothes

After the hand-on-crotch move, prepare for clothing removal. There is no clear time guideline for how long it takes to get to this point because it depends on the girl and how much resistance you get. On average it takes me about 15-45 minutes before I start thinking about taking off her clothes, but with heavy resistance it may take up to two hours. Let at least a few minutes go by between removal of each article of clothing. The shoes come off first. All you have to say is, "Why don’t you take off your shoes?" If she asks why, give a look like she asked a weird question and say, "To be more comfortable, of course." If she is on your bed, you can say that you don’t want her to get your bed dirty. If she refuses to take off her shoes, she is not planning on staying long. Next is her shirt, an important step that is a frequent source of resistance. There are two ways of taking off her shirt: telling her to do it or doing it yourself. If you tell a girl to take off her shirt then you better be a confident mother fucker because she’ll be able to tell if you are a beta posing as an alpha. Say, "Take off your shirt," in a matterof-fact tone that is not a demand or a question. Say it like you would say, "The sun is bright today." I usually say this when she on top and straddling me. Some girls will take it off immediately, but others will play a little game, saying something like, "You want me to take off my shirt? Say please." Since all you have to do to get that shirt off is say please, go ahead and say it because it’s okay to let her feel like she has some control over what’s going on. If she hesitates, say, "I’ll do it," and then start taking off her shirt. You can take off her shirt without using words by gradually moving it up as you touch and rub her torso. You inch up the shirt over the course of a minute, taking note if she tries to pull it back down, and then go for it by trying to lift it off. In most cases she will assist you and take the shirt off herself. If she resists, start over. Her shirt has to come off before yours. This is because you are going to feel like an idiot if you are half-naked and she refuses to take anything off. Once you get her shirt off, let a minute or two go by and then take off your shirt. You can say, "I’m going to take off mine too so you don’t feel left out."

Next up are socks. First take off hers, then followed by yours. It’s very rare a girl will resist you taking off her socks. But if she does, simply skip this step and move on to the next one. Unlike most previous steps, taking off her socks is not necessary to continue because you can always try again later when more clothing is gone. Still, I imagine it would be awkward if you were having sex with a girl and her socks were on.

Next up is pants. If you get her pants off, there is a 75% chance you will be having sex within mere moments. But before you try to remove them, unbuckle your belt first. This tells her where things are going and gives you an idea of how she is going to react. It’s a bad sign if she asks you why you are unbuckling your belt while it’s a good sign if she does nothing. Take off her pants in stages, with a one minute rest in between each stage. First unbuckle her belt, then undo her top button, then unzip her zipper, and then finally wiggle her pants down. If she doesn’t lift up her waist and the pants are difficult to remove from your wiggling, say, "Need a little bit of help." She may help you by lifting up her waist or even taking off her pants for you. If she resists say, "Just wanted to make things more comfortable," and then start all over again. Take off your pants soon after you take off hers, so that after this stage you have on underwear and she has on her bra and panties.

Once her pants are off, do a direct contact vagina rub. A lot of guys try to make girls climax with their hand before sex, but this is not necessary. You just want to penetrate her vagina with your finger for a short while to enjoy the wetness and get ready for the next stage. First, gently rub her vagina over her panties before you put your hand inside them. Gradually creep down with a finger or two and rub the area until you end up finger banging her at a slow to medium pace. If she stops you then you have to take this as resistance and start over. It’s a very positive sign if she grabs your hand to guide the vagina rubbing action. She may say some weird things as you progress towards the later stages. Most common are "I don’t usually do this" and "We’re moving too fast." To make sure we don’t trigger her logical brain, simply agree with whatever she says so she doesn’t have to think of a rebuttal. Suitable answers are "I don’t usually do this either" and "You’re right, we are moving too fast." But even after agreeing with her, continue doing what you were doing. If you are getting too much resistance, you feel like you are doing all the work, or she says something like, "We are not having sex tonight," then you can gradually ramp down the intimacy and make an excuse about how you have to get up early. The exception is if a sleepover is assumed, where in that case you can try again later that night or the next morning. When you eventually do make your exit, leave things on good terms by not showing annoyance or anger. You are a man who wants sex so you tried to get it, and she is a woman who resists sex. It’s no big deal. When you part ways, make sure you give her a nice goodbye. Tell her that you had a really good time if you want to see her again and that you will talk to her soon. If all systems are go, the next thing you want to take off is her bra. Taking off a bra will be very difficult unless you know how the strapping mechanism works. A bra usually has three hooks that wrap around three eyes. You unhook this contraption by actually tightening the bra a little so you can pull the hooks out. The easiest way to do this is when she is on top of you. Just like with buttons on a shirt, the hooks are always going to be on the same side (your left). If you are trying to remove a bra but can’t, simply say, "Need a little help." The girl will laugh at you but she will still take off her bra. It’s happened to me many times in my early days so it’s not a big deal, but it is in your best interests to be able to do it on your own. Unstrapping a bra with one hand at lightning speed is a move that girls appreciate. Once the straps come undone, let the bra just hang there for a minute until one of you ends up taking it off completely. After already taking off her pants, you will not get resistance at the bra unless she is insecure about her breasts. You can now introduce mouth-to-breast contact into the bedroom program. If she doesn’t let you take off her bra but you have a strong feeling that she wants to have sex, simply skip this step. Next up is her panties. It’s extremely rare that I take off a girl’s panties and not have sex with her. Panties are sex. It’s for this reason that you may get very firm resistance here even though she didn’t resist you at prior steps. Just treat it like any other form of resistance and start over if she stops you, making a panty removal attempt every 10-15 minutes. At this stage you will use raw persistence to break down any remaining resistance. To take off her panties, put your hands on the sides and wiggle them down a couple inches to gauge her reaction. After another minute, go ahead and try to pull them off if she hasn’t already done it for you. You’re almost there.

Sealing The Deal

Even though I know sex is going to happen after I take off her panties, I don’t rush to it because I want to amplify the pleasure we are both experiencing. You want to tease her to the maximum so the sex is better and more memorable. Don’t give it to her when she wants it ― give it to her when she can’t take it anymore. Continue to rub, kiss, and bite. It is extremely satisfying when a girl begs for your cock, a goal you want to visualize even though it does not commonly occur during first-time sex.

Now she is going to be reaching for your cock and stroking it, maybe putting it through your pee hole. Let her stroke it as you finger her to spread the juice to the outside of her vagina in order to facilitate penetration. Then slowly take your boxers off, wiggling it down a couple inches a minute until you take it off completely when it gets halfway down your ass. Now you are both naked and your genitals are very close to coming into contact with each other. This is a good time to take about sexually transmitted diseases. There is joke in my circle that goes something like this: "If you have never had an STD, you are not a real player." I would be more than happy to take the bet that you will get an STD in the course of your lifetime, even if it’s something small like a fungal rash, crabs, or molluscum. Think of sex as like riding a motorcycle―a fun but dangerous activity where risk can only be minimized, not eliminated. You can use a condom 100% of the time and still get warts around your crotch. So here is what you do: minimize risk to the best of your ability and just live the lifestyle you want. Wear condoms regularly and consistently, but don’t freak out and question your existence if you do get something. Treat it and deal with it like a man. If you can’t handle the possibility of getting a minor skin disease, then this game is not for you.

As for HIV, it’s not something you should worry about unless you are gay or an IV drug user. Getting HIV is the culmination of a pattern of extremely risky behavior, not a one shot deal that strikes virgins whose condom broke the first time they had sex. It’s rare that you will get the biggest STD in the world without getting the other ones first, but don’t take my word for it: do your own research. Personally, I would not have sex with a girl who does IV drugs or gets banged in the butt by bisexual men. I advise against going raw dog unless you are in a committed relationship and somewhat certain she is not screwing other guys, but if you do it raw then make sure you never ejaculate inside her, even if she is on the pill. Not only is the pill not 100% effective, no girl is perfect with taking it every day. Because you don’t want your player career to end prematurely with a newborn, don’t ejaculate inside a girl unless you accept the chance of having a baby with her.

Back to sex. Once you are both naked, be careful about rubbing your cock against the outside of her vagina. It’s dangerous because you may get so turned on that you keep going and don’t bother with protection. If she grabs your cock and tries to put it in raw, you defi-nitely want to use a condom because this is a behavior she has most likely done before. It will be music to your ears if she says something like, "Do you have a condom?" But most girls won’t do this so you need a smooth way to get the condom without having to remind her that sex is about to happen. Memorize these seven words: "Let me get something just in case." Girls rarely resist this because it doesn’t imply that sex is going to happen. More importantly, it lets you get the condom without making her think about it. Grab a condom and put it on while still kissing to distract her from thinking about what’s about to happen. Remember, you never want her logical brain to do any thinking or else she will come up with reasons not to have sex. Make sure you practice putting on condoms if you are not already fast at it because you don’t want to fumble this step. There is a slight chance she resists you on the "just in case" line. We need a good response because we’re too far now to turn back and count on a next time. If she says anything it’s probably going to be "Why?" or "I don’t know." Your answer: "For rubbing, so we are completely safe. I’m just going to leave it on." Then you get the condom without waiting for her answer and put it on yourself. You should be very hesitant to give up at this point, but don’t use physical force and don’t keep going if she says "no" or "stop." All these techniques and moves are used to barrel through resistance on a girl who wants to have sex with you but is scared of looking like a slut. Having sex with a girl who does not want to have sex with you is rape. Once the condom is on, don’t wait for more than thirty seconds before you start making genital-on-genital contact. If she’s not wet on the outside then you want to finger her to spread her juice around. Or discreetly spit on your hand to lubricate your cock. Rub the outside of her vagina with your cock until the tip falls into place and you push in to make that first penetration. Pump slowly, getting slightly farther in with each pump until you cock is wet and it goes in and out with ease. Congratulate yourself on the notch. In bed I like to start off on top until I get tired. Then I put her on top to regain energy before I flip her around and bang her doggy style to finish myself off. Don’t ask her permission to change positions ― just do it. If you typically last under five minutes then I recommend you try numbing condoms at least for the first time you have sex. If a girl is whining about wanting to get banged more, just do her a second or third time where you are going to last much longer. The first time is for you and the second time can be for her, after you already have your main orgasm.

Don’t be too concerned with sexual technique. Porn is my teacher and all I do is pump away while changing the speed, depth, and force. Every few minutes I move her into a position I like. I relax, stay focused, and bang the hell out of her because that’s what I want to do. If you like it slow then bang her slow. If you like it rough then bang her rough. Keep doing what you want to do until she complains, which will be very unlikely. I am always surprised with how rough and dirty women really are.

I don’t go down on women before having sex because it’s not necessary and doesn’t guarantee sex will occur. If that is what you like doing then by all means go for it, but don’t do it because you think it will lessen resistance. You will be very upset if you do go down on a girl with the intention of having sex with her and then get nothing in return.

Since sex is supposed to be fun, don’t take it too seriously by questioning whether you are doing things right or not. Other than some typical dirty talk like, "You like that, don’t you?" don’t ask if you are pleasing her. Also, after sex, don’t ask if she came. If she cares enough about her pleasure then she will bring it up by telling you the things she wants or does not want you to do. It’s best to do your own thing and what you enjoy because if you are enjoying it then chances are she is enjoying it too. Worrying about her pleasure sacrifices your own, and in the end doesn’t guarantee that she will be pleased. Once sex ends, you are going to feel the urge to fill the silence with talk, but resist that and stay cool. The less you talk the better because she will wonder what you are thinking and feel a little insecure and vulnerable. Plus most of the stupid things I’ve ever said to girls have happened right after I had sex with them. Instead of talking, touch her, stroke her hair, cuddle, or go to sleep. Remember: sex isn’t a big deal―it’s a natural act between two people who like each other. How you treat her after sex should be the same with how you treated her before. The last thing you want is get needy and act like you are falling for her.

So that’s how you bang a girl. The toughest part of late game is getting to the point where you can get her into a bedroom, but with the methods previously described that’s only a modest challenge. The real challenge is getting a girl interested enough to make late game possible, and that stems from the approach and your first thirty minutes with her. When it comes to getting laid, it’s that early game that is really going to determine the quality and quantity of the girls you bang.

Future Dates

To keep it easy on myself, I have the first three dates pre-set regardless of what kind of girl I’m dealing with and if sex occurs. The first date is the café then bar on a weekday night. The second date is at a club on a weekend night, and the third date is sushi with sake on a weekday night.

If the first date didn’t result in sex and you expect a second one to occur, tell her at the end of the date that you want to take her out on the weekend to somewhere cool. Joke with her that you think both of you are ready for a date on a "primetime" night. Tell her to keep one weekend night free and that you will call her soon. If she is not free on the upcoming weekend, have a phone back-and-forth until the next weekend. Doing back-to-back dates on weekdays is not optimal if she has to get up early because you are not taking advantage of a possible sleepover which would make sex more likely to happen. Always leave a message when you are calling her, and don’t drag out phone conversations for too long. You should still be the one to always end the conversation first by making up an excuse about how you have to go do something like your laundry. Date two should be something fun and loud. I take my dates to house clubs. If there is not a real connection between me and my date, I take her to the loudest place possible to avoid having to talk to her and make our incompatibility obvious. Don’t worry about having to dance too much; lean against a bar or column and let her dance in front of you. I take her to a place that I like so that no matter what mood she shows up in, I’m going to have a good time and hopefully run into other people I know.

On date three, if I’m concerned that sex may not happen soon, I hit her with the "passion" routine when the topic of sex or dating comes up. Sometimes I do it on the phone before date three. This routine is tricky to fit into conversation but is an important way to let her know what you expect. Say:

I noticed that with girls I get into a relationship with, intimacy happens pretty fast. I guess it’s because if two people really like each other, and are comfortable with spending time together, they will find it impossible to keep their hands off each other. If a girl doesn’t want to get intimate with me soon then I just assume we are not physically compatible, or she has some type of issue that I’m not aware of.

This routine is an indirect, subtle way to let her know the clock is ticking. We never directly ask or cajole her into having sex because then that would just be whining, a tremendous turn-off. On each subsequent date, you should get much closer to sex than the previous one. Simply start from the top and work to the end. If you don’t have sex with her by date three, as long as it’s not because you didn’t push hard enough, don’t over-analyze why you couldn’t break down her resistance. Just like how you don’t analyze your game if a single approach goes wrong, don’t sweat it if one particular girl won’t open her legs. If you got pretty close by date three (fingering her, oral sex), then that probably means you will bang on date four or five. While it is okay to go past date three to get sex, you should be reluctant to do so. We’re living in a day and age where three dates is more than enough time for a girl to prove to us that she is worthy. If she’s not giving us sex, she needs to either put in more effort by offering to take us out or to do a bang-up job pleasing us orally. Don’t get caught in the trap of continuing to date her just because you invested some money and time into her. If she doesn’t play by your rules and give you what you want, drop her. No matter how far down the wrong road you go, turn back―there are other quality girls that will bang you without giving you a hard time. Whenever I’ve broken my rule and gone past date three into dates four or five while still not getting sex, I’ve always been disappointed. Make a rule and stick with it. Again, three dates is ample time for a modern woman to be comfortable having sex with an high-value male.

After Sex

If she still likes you after sex, she will play fewer games and give you more attention. The pendulum swings to where she puts in as much effort as you. Always be conscious of whether she is reciprocating or not. Is she still offering to pay? Is she initiating conversation and intimacy? Is she doing things to make you comfortable and happy? The chances that a relationship will continue after sex depend on interest levels and effort. If you like the girl, put in the same amount of effort you did before sex until hers matches yours. Then start to gradually increase that amount of effort and let her catch up to you, repeating this until you take the relationship to the next level. It is okay to put in just a little bit more effort than the girl, but it should never appear that you are doing significantly more work. A common way guys blow it after sex is by abandoning their phone game. They think that they can call her whenever they want, have long, boring conversations, and always pick up the phone when she calls. But you still want to keep her in a state of doubt where she wonders, "Does he really like me?" If she takes two hours to call back, then you take almost two hours too. If she picks up the phone half the time, so do you. If she doesn’t leave messages, then you don’t either. Once she picks up the pattern that you are simply mirroring her disrespectful phone game, she will start acting better if she does like you. If after sex you freak her out by sending a mushy text message or call immediately after, she may peg you as needy and go cold. After sex I like to call a girl on the second day to instill just a little bit of doubt, but not so much that she is completely freaked out. For example if I have sex with her on Friday night but sleep over and leave Saturday afternoon, I will call her on Monday night. But if I leave on Friday night, I will call her on Sunday night. Stay clear of drunk dialing girls. It’s hard to keep your game tight by calling a girl drunk and saying stupid things that negate the good work you have put in. Drunk dialing is a behavior of the horny man who can’t even plan a few hours in advance. If I was a girl, I wouldn’t respect a man calling me at late hours talking about horny nonsense. If you are prone to drunk dialing then I recommend you leave your phone in the car.

You can mold your girl into your ideal by criticizing her negative behaviors. If you criticize her on something too early, she may write you off as bossy and demanding, but after sex she can’t be quick to do that because, after all, she did have sex with you. It is after sex where she is much more likely to take your criticisms to heart. This often results in your first real argument, something that actually helps because it engages her emotions. Your enemy is boredom, not conflict. I have a problem with girls not putting in enough effort, so that is what I criticize them for. I tell a girl, calmly, that I think I’m putting in more effort than her, and that I can’t make this work entirely on my own. She will then flip it back to me and tell me instances where I’m not putting in effort, and we end up having a back-and-forth where there is much disagreement. But now she understands that I expect to be treated in a certain way. She knows that I will not accept mistreatment. You can also criticize girls for not being adventurous enough in bed or being too flakey. Bring these up in a casual way but stay firm and let her know your concerns. Instead of giving her ultimatums, let her know what’s on your mind. If she doesn’t change her ways, don’t be afraid to hint that friendship may be best instead. There are some general guidelines you want to follow for date four and beyond. The most important is to be unpredictable. Always keep her guessing by randomizing behaviors such as when you call and when and where you take her out. Don’t have a standing date where she knows every Saturday you will take her to the club. Don’t see her more than twice a week. Don’t talk on the phone every day. Prevent conversation from degrading into a pattern where you talk like old school chums instead of lovers. Choose silence instead of banal conversation. Don’t fall into a boring "So what did you do today?" pattern. Surprise her sometimes with a call where you ask, "What are you doing right now?" Take creative risks and research interesting date ideas. The reason slot machines are so addicting is because the payouts are unpredictable. Be the slot machine. If at any time she pulls back from you, pull back from her even more. This is true regardless of how long you have been dating. If she’s giving you a hard time, give her a harder time. If she’s acting cold in the bedroom, act even colder. If she’s giving the silent treatment, give her a more silent treatment! Human instinct is to neutralize tension by apologizing or making nice, but you will do the opposite. You will fill the situation with even more tension to show that you are immune to her high school psychology games. She will feel a strong urge to make nice.

Relationships

Delay commitment as long as possible, because it only makes it more difficult to bang other girls. I wouldn’t be concerned about your girl sleeping with other men because girls naturally move towards monogamy and will not be interested in other partners if she has real interest in you. But of course she will insinuate that other men are interested in her so you do commit. If you’ve been dating the same girl for several months and she’s about to leave you if you don’t commit, you have to decide if she’s worth it or not. If she’s pleasant to be around and easy on the eyes, I would maybe give her the commitment but be open-minded about other girls if you are not trying to get married soon. Cheat if you want, but odds are you will eventually get caught. Remember: a woman exists to find a man and make him commit to her. Commitment is for her benefit, not yours. Think long and hard before you sign away your freedom for only one girl. And when it comes to marriage, unless you want to have a child within the next year or two, don’t do it. Almost any positive thing you can get from a woman, whether it be physical or emotional, can be had without getting married to them. The great thing about being a man is that we are relationship worthy at any age. In fact, you will be valued more by women at an age that is well past the physical peak of your early twenties. While many commentators say it’s because of our increasing wage-earning potential, I think it’s mostly because of our experience. With time, study, and constant practice, we get very good with meeting, attracting, arousing, and handling women. Long-term relationships are dangerous when you are developing your game because you miss out on that important practice. While you should definitely grab onto a girl who is quality, I think it’s best to stay clear of relationships until you play and learn enough to know what quality is. The girls I had crushes on back when I was younger are girls I wouldn’t even give a second look to today. By not meeting a large number of girls, you sell yourself short in discovering the type of woman that will bring you the most happiness.

Once you get into a relationship, chances are you’ll eventually want to get out of it. If you think a relationship is stalling out, it is better that you dump the girl before she dumps you because it gives you the upper-hand to return for casual sex. Never let a girl dump you. Girls are very predictable so you should know well in advance if she is preparing to do it.

The first method of breaking up is the cold cut-off, where you simply never contact her again and don’t pick up the phone when she calls. I usually go for this method if we don’t make it past the second or third date, since it’s so early that she probably doesn’t expect me to call her back anyway. I know guys who do this on girlfriends they’ve gone out with for months, so it’s more of a personal choice and what you feel comfortable with. The second method is the fake fight. This is where you get overly sensitive about something she did and show extreme displeasure. For example, if she criticizes you about anything, use that to tell her that you don’t know if you can handle someone who is constant complainer. If she takes an extra day to call back then tell her you want someone who is willing to put in more work than she does. Once you end the awkward conversation where you had the fake fight, simply never call her again. She will attribute your not calling to the phone argument, even though it wasn’t the real reason you broke up. I’m a fan of this technique if we haven’t passed date three because it’s easy to do and takes very little time to execute. The third method is the return of the ex-girlfriend. This one takes a bit of planning and time to execute but it does a good job leaving the door open to have sex with the girl again. One day casually mention that your ex-girlfriend is back in town and you are conflicted because she wants to see you. Keep it vague and tell the girl that you are over your ex and don’t plan on seeing her. Then let one week pass and have another conversation where you tell her that you did indeed see her and you "don’t know" what’s going on but you feel "weird." This is the seed that sets up week number three, where you tell her that you and the ex-girlfriend want to give it another chance. Tell her that you really like her, but the history with your imaginary ex is too strong to let go. This is a very painless breakup because she will understand your predicament.

The final method is an elaborate form of "it’s not you, it’s me." You can knock this one out on the phone in under thirty minutes. This method is the closest you can get to honesty without hurting the girl’s feelings. It is often the real reason I break up with girls. Start off by telling her that it felt "weird" the last time you hung out, and that the last encounter was mostly physical for you. Tell her the problem is not about her because it’s always physical for you, and you have trouble connecting to girls on an emotional level. You can bring up some relevant story from your childhood and how you think that made it hard for you to connect to girls like other guys. Tell her that you want to take a step back and be friends. Add: "I don’t expect you to wait until I figure things out, but I do think a break is best for now." It’s not her, it’s you and your issues. The advantage of using this break-up method is that it will be easy to return for sex. A couple weeks later you can tell her you miss hanging out with her, go to her place for a movie, and bang. This method is slightly uncomfortable to do but it leaves the door open while getting out of any relationship of any length.

END GAME

After you achieve moderate skill at the game, you will hit a barrier which sends you into the opposite direction. You were achieving success but are now experiencing great difficulty. This happened to me several years after I got into the game, when I started bombing on the phone. I had turned the phone into a strength but now girls started to flake before the first date. After it became a new pattern, I thought about the problem and figured out what I was doing wrong: I moved date one material into the first phone call conversation and focused on humor, which plays better face-to-face than on the phone. After I realized what I was doing, I put a strict time limit on my phone conversations and went back to focusing on getting girls out on dates instead of entertaining them. Within a very short time I was back to achieving my previous phone conversion rates. Down periods are normal and there are two reasons for it. The first is just statistical probability. Just like the stock market, game has cyclical ups and down. Success comes in spurts, followed by nasty cold streaks. It is actually during these cold streaks where you are put under the stress that forces you to innovate and try new material. Push on through the valley until you hit the next peak. The second reason for down periods is the accidental use of new material that hurts your game, like what I did with the phone. This usually happens due to overconfidence that causes you to introduce routines or body language that simply does not work. If a sudden downturn coincides with a recent change to your game, revert back to what you were doing before. When it comes to making changes to your game, being a player is similar to being a bread maker. If I want to be a world-class bread maker, the first thing I will probably do is find a well-known recipe to bake my first loaf. Once I have mastered baking this loaf, I will then start to change things to see how it affects the bread. But I will only change one thing at a time so I can feel confident that I know what a different result was based on. If I change both the salt and yeast amount at the same time, I won’t know if it was the salt or the yeast, or a synergy between the two, that made the bread better or worse. So I bake a loaf with a different amount of salt and measure the result before moving on to the yeast. Real life is a lot more complex―it is impossible to control for variables because things are constantly changing out of our control, but we still need a way to measure if a change was effective or not. The best way to do this is to only focus on experimenting with one new line, routine, or move at a time. For instance if I’m concerned about my body language and I want to improve it, I might focus on leaning back more. For one night, the only thing new thing I will try is leaning back. I’ll lean back with at least five approaches and then measure the results in my head. Did leaning back cause girls to respond to me a little more positively than normal, helping with my overall sex goal? If you feel confident the change helped, make a note to continue doing it. You just made a change that improved your game. Now do this with dozens of other lines, routines, and moves, and in time you will have a refined, customized game that serves you best, based on solid experience. It is the solid experience that is most critical to your improvement. Just like electricity humming invisibly in the background, your experience is always there with you, working unconsciously to guide you towards your goals. On your 100th approach there will be the experiences of 99 previous approaches at your back, helping you succeed. This is why it is better to be the man that tries and fails than one who does not try at all, because that failure will still bring you closer to what you do want. You owe it to yourself to get rejected, learn the limits of your game, and find out first-hand what works and what doesn’t.

Find A Niche

Let’s pretend that you become an average player, meaning you are competent at each stage of the game and have a firm understanding of the principles discussed in this book. An average night out will be you getting one phone number. Every now and then you will get a make-out. Once in a blue moon you will get a one night stand. Most of the phone numbers will go nowhere. Assuming you are a post-college male with disposable income who goes out twice a week on Fridays and Saturdays, on average you will get around 4-8 numbers a month if you approach regularly. Out of those numbers, maybe two will lead to a date. Out of those two first dates, maybe one will eventually lead to sex. In an average year, you will get 3-8 notches. Assuming you spend $25 on each night out and $35 on each date, that is at least $300 a month. Do you like these numbers? If not, then you need to work on finding your niche: a look, a locale, a best-fit game that gives you returns better than the average and that uses your strengths and reputation. There is nothing wrong with average and you will get laid from it, but after a year or two these average results will seem, well, average. Finding your niche allows you to put in less while getting more.

Every girl gravitates towards a man who is great at something. Whether it be in painting, photography, a successful executive career, or something nerdy like chess, girls will notice and come to you when they sense you are successful at something you are passionate about. I found this out first hand with my writing, which have sent me more women than anything else I’ve done. Even if you are a club rat who knows all the promoters and builds status by being the fun go-to party guy, girls will be attracted to that. While you don’t need a niche to get laid, it makes things a lot easier. Getting laid is fun, but imagine getting laid while doing what you like. It’s like making money by doing your hobby instead of spending eight hours every day in a cubicle. Pick something in life that you want to be great at (other than picking up women and video games) and just kick ass at it. Let it give you the interesting conversation and experience to make picking up women easier and cheaper.

Fin

The reason you get into the game will not be the reason you stay in the game. I got into the game to have more sex, but I have stayed in it because it gives me the power to get what I want. I can improve my lot using qualities such as persistence, confidence, and conversational ability instead of luck and chance. My success depends entirely on me and what I make of my environment, not on God, cockblockers, society, or culture. While you cannot control the events that happen around you, you can control how you respond. You can only hone your game in a way that makes success much more likely to occur. You must approach the game like water running through a river, with ease and calm, adapting to your surroundings and using what is given to you. Do your best and push yourself to the limits, knowing that good things will eventually come, no matter how tough your present situation is. Eventually you will enter the final stage of game: end game. This is where you don’t have to be mindful of your moves or routines. You don’t care why a girl isn’t calling you or if she is playing hard to get or if she likes you or not. You have options and choices and remain unfazed when encountered with ambiguous or absurd female behaviors. If you are putting out the right vibe and built yourself up to the best man your genetics make possible, you may not even have to approach girls or worry about things like breaking down resistance. You simply live the life you want and watch as the girls come to you, gaming you and tempting you to bang them. It may take many years, but if you put in this effort, I believe you will be paid back in full. Then when it comes to game all you have to do is wake up, all you have to do is exist.

APPENDIX

This appendix discusses additional topics not included in the main text because of their detailed or specific nature. They serve more to round out the rough edges of your game than to help with the main foundation.

Approaching From A Car

If she is on foot while you are inside a car, open her by asking for directions. Engage her in a basic conversation so she doesn’t think you are a kidnapper. Then, ask her opinion on somewhere to go, whether it be for food or drink. Follow with strong opinions about certain places in the area (e.g. "Yeah last week I went to Club Gay and it was a total sausage fest. I didn’t like it at all. I’m looking for something different.") Then shift the conversation to what she is doing. If she is about to get pizza, ask her what her favorite pizza places are. This is going to be strange to do as you are hanging out the passenger side of your friend’s car, but it’s the only way it has worked for me. Engage her in as long of a conversation as possible and then go for an instant venue change nearby, or a number if that is not possible. If she looks like she is in a party mood, ask her if she needs a ride. You’ll be surprised how many girls accept. If she is in the car next to you, start the approach the same way by asking for directions or a quick opinion. Before the light turns green, ask her where she is going and if it’s any good. Say, "Maybe I’ll show up," and gauge her reaction. If she seemed open to the idea and encourages you to come, then go ahead and follow her.

Approaching On The Street

This is very similar to car approaching. In most cases you will be stationary while girls pass you by. The first thing you need to do is get her stop. Say, "Hey, do you know where/what/when…" and then ask her for information or an opinion, even if you already know the answer. As you open, she is going to keep walking, but you must keep talking while moving your body to face her. Don’t stop talking even if it appears that she is walking away because sometimes it takes girls a couple seconds to realize that you are asking them a serious question instead of hitting on them like a construction worker. Girls are very likely to stop if they think you need help. Once she stops, follow the same steps as the car approach, giving strong opinions and then asking what she is up to, trying to prolong the conversation so you get to the point where she starts asking you questions. What I like about street approaches is that you can venue change to a nearby bar. This is actually not hard to pull off and some nights I’m more content hitting on girls outside the bar than doing it inside.

Approaching In A Coffee Shop

Go to the most crowded coffee shop you can find, where it can be hard to find a table. Get your coffee or pastry and then look around for a table with the hottest girl. Go to that table and politely ask if you can share her table. Then get your book or whatever and do what you were going to do. Before five minutes pass, simply make a comment about something you noticed about her. Maybe she is drawing, reading a book, or studying a subject you took in college. It’s okay to hit her with something mediocre like "Is it usually this crowded here" than nothing at all. Don’t be reluctant to interrupt her work. If she’s hanging out in a public place then chances are she wants to be interrupted. After you open, gauge her reaction to see if she is interested in talking to you. Does she give a quick response and dive back into her book or does she keep her head up waiting for you to keep talking?

If you want to get her number or venue change to get something to eat, you can’t let the conversation die. If the conversation reaches a natural end and she goes back to her book and you go back to yours, the approach is over. You want to keep talking until you move her to another location or until one of you have to go. A good close here is,

"I think we should continue the conversation some other time. But not over coffee!"

If she is with at least one other friend, you are going to eavesdrop on their conversation, wait until you hear something you have an opinion on, and then say, "Sorry to interrupt but I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation." Follow with your opinion. This polite approach happens to be very useful if the girl is with an older relative like her mother. If the coffee shop is not crowded, simply sit at the table next to the hottest girl. This is just a little tougher to approach since you will be farther apart, but still very doable.

Approaching In Your Social Circle

If a girl you like is friends with your friend, you don’t need to approach her at all ― simply get an introduction from your friend. If the introduction is delayed then go up with her with, "I don’t think we’ve met yet." Once you are introduced, simply game her like you would any girl. Don’t think you can skip the attraction building stage just because you have mutual acquaintances. With girls I meet through friends, I usually start with the opinion routine to put the interaction on a track I’m familiar and comfortable with. You will be tempted to take it slow with this girl since your friends know her and whatever you do will get out to everyone else, but if that’s the case then you shouldn’t be hitting on her in the first place. If you are not going to give every girl 100% either move on or use her to make other girls jealous. Don’t be passive and assume you will run into her again.

Approaching In The Gym

If you want to hit on girls in the gym then you will have to sacrifice the intensity of your workout to put mental energy into gaming girls. Say you are doing legs one day but the girl you like is doing chest. If you want to talk to her then you guess what―you will feel the sudden urge to work out your chest. Go to the machine she is working on and ask how many sets she has left. Don’t worry if the gym is empty and it’s obvious you are just trying to hit on her. After my first set working in with her, I joke and say, "Yeah usually I can do a lot more, but I was injured recently so I’m talking it easy." Or say, "I could do a lot more of course but I don’t want to embarrass the other guys here."

If she doesn’t laugh then there is something wrong with her sense of humor. Continue the conversation by hitting her with an opinion or comment on gym culture to see if she responds and helps you continue the conversation. Say: "I feel like in the American culture if you don’t come to the gym you will get fat" or "I hope you don’t mind if I grunt really loudly in this next set because it makes me feel stronger."

Throw something out there and see if he she engages you. Keep the conversation going as long as possible and fight the urge to end it early with "I’ll see you around." Segue the conversation into what you both do in your spare time. Remember you are not trying to be her gym buddy, so if you don’t close it this first time then your odds of longterm success will be low. You need to act as if you will never see her again. Try to venue change to the smoothie bar for a protein shake to continue the conversation. Otherwise just take a deep breath and ask her to hang out right there on the gym floor if she is responding to your game and asking personal questions.

Approaching In Foreign Countries

The best way to meet girls while abroad is to stay in hostels. This is especially true if you are traveling alone. While hostels are usually sausage fests, most of the guys there are young and have weak game so you can blow them all away with average player ability. Your goal is to be friendly to everyone because those guys may have already got in with a group of girls you want to game. Get used to using the "Let me guess, you are from…" opener. It’s extremely effective in starting conversation with female travelers. When it comes time to seal the deal, you will have to get creative because hostels don’t have much in the way of privacy. If you can’t bang her in one of the rooms, or the bathroom, or the park outside, you can always try to upgrade to a private room (most hostels have them). If you do try to get her into a private room, let her think that you two are just going to cuddle and talk. We never let girls think we assume sex is going to happen, since it should be seen as spontaneous and random.

She’s A Feminist

Feminists are a delight because they don’t have hang-ups about sex. While their demeanor suggests they are tough and prudish, they actually are very easy once inside the bedroom. Feminists will call you out on your belief system more than a non-feminist, but as long as you stay firm and explain why you believe what you believe, she will respect that and bang you anyway. When guys meet feminists, they become more beta in fear that they will offend her, but do the opposite and let her tone down her crazy beliefs instead. She will be surprised that you have these opinions and become more attracted to you. Feminists are amusing because they say they want the opposite of alpha males but alphas have no problems hooking up with them.

She’s Shy Or Doesn’t Talk Much

Because your game depends on constant feedback and openness, a shy girl is trouble. You will have a hard time knowing if she is interested because she won’t ask questions or respond like most other girls. Shy girls are not just shy with speaking but how they approach life as well, so they are the least likely to put in effort and make your sex goals easy to accomplish. It’s for these reasons I pass over shy girls and give them to guys who like making big projects out of girls. Once you get into the game and meet a large quantity of girls, I’m confident you will pass over them as well. Other than mysterious silence, they just don’t have much to offer.

She Doesn’t Speak Good English

Take her to loud places where conversation is not necessary. Or take her to artsy performance events. You want to be more focused and deliberate with your touching since that is what you will use to amplify the attraction, which in this case is probably built on your look and confidence instead of your wit and humor. Get comfortable with silences. This girl is different from the shy girl because she is able to put in effort and work for you.

You Don’t Know Which Girl To Pick

This is most common if you are approaching a pair of girls. You only want one but it ends up going well with both and they are giving you equal amounts of attention. What I commonly see is guys don’t pick one and end up getting both of their numbers using a "I think we should all hang out again" close. This doesn’t work. What you want to do is for the first minute give more attention to the one you don’t like and then move on to the one you do. Make it clear with who you prefer so the uglier girl is encouraged to take a lap. Don’t exclude the ugly friend and do keep her in the conversation, but don’t worry too much if her feelings are hurt or if she is going to cockblock you. Either you get some type of close that has a good chance of going somewhere or you get cockblocked, two outcomes which are much better than getting useless numbers.

You Forgot Her Name

I guess a true alpha wouldn’t care about asking a girl’s name again if he forgets it, but sometimes not knowing her name can be very awkward if you’ve already hooked up. If you forget her name, just ask her how to spell her first name. If her name is common like M-A-R-Y then say, "Oh I thought you had a creative spelling." I think the Seinfeld solution is to dig through her purse while she is in the bathroom, but that seems risky.

Her Breath Smells

It is rare you will come across a girl who has bad breath. Girls are so self conscious about personal hygiene that they will double and triple check themselves before going out. If a girl has bad breath, ask her if she had onions today. Or offer her one of your mints or gum. She will get the hint.

She Has A Boyfriend, Fiancé, Or Husband

Trying to bang girls who are already taken is one of the most fun aspects of the game. Once you reach a proficient level of success, you may find it a little boring to chase after girls who are single. The next logical step is to go after girls who are not single. I’m not going to make a moral justification for going after taken girls. I look at it this way: if the boyfriend kept his game tight and his girl happy, she wouldn’t even look at me after my opener. The fact that she is still here, giving me attention, and considering having sex with me is because that guy is not hitting her buttons like I am. Why should I say no to a girl I want to have sex with just because she made a commitment to someone she probably shouldn’t have in the first place? Just do what you do want and ignore those people who get all high and mighty on you. Don’t listen to anyone else who tries to tell you who you should or should not bang. The reason a girl with a boyfriend is looking your way is because she is bored or unsatisfied. She sees you as the potential answer to her boredom. Focus on exciting stories or travel adventures that make life with the boyfriend seem so lame and dull. Avoid discussion about how life is depressing and sad. Girls in relationships will flirt with other guys, but they only cheat with guys who are able to provide the best logistics. It will be with the guy who makes it discreet and easy for her. For this to happen you need to remove her from places that have people who know about her relationship. Once you get her alone, away from prying eyes, it becomes like any other pick-up. The only delay is that is takes a little more time to get the kiss out of the way (for taken girls, kissing another man is a big deal). If she objects in the bedroom with "But I have a boyfriend," simply agree with her: "You are right, maybe we shouldn’t do this." Disengage her logical brain so she loses herself in the moment.

The key to good logistics is having repeated access to her. If you meet a taken girl at a club and she is with five of her best friends, you will get nowhere. Even if she likes you, she won’t give you her number while her friends are around. But if you meet her alone at your favorite coffee shop and you see her every other day, or she is in the same class as you, your chances are much higher. Get her alone where you can game her without interruption, where she doesn’t worry about who is watching or judging her. With taken girls you have to be more indirect than normal with your words and not let her think you like her. Do this so that she can rationalize that you are a "friend" and continue seeing you. But here’s the key: keep your physical game exactly the same. She will be very confused that you are touching her and walking arm-in-arm and placing your hand on her waist while your words are just normal teasing, stories, and jokes. Since your game is mostly indirect anyway, this will not be a significant departure from what you normally do.

You want things to get to the point where she lies to her significant other about hanging out with you. She’s going out with her "friends," not you. And you can even help her rehearse the lines she will tell him, putting you two on the same team against him, the enemy. This commits her to you even more. If you get into a regular fuck-buddy relationship, you will be tempted to steal her and make her your girlfriend. But be careful: the reason the relationship is so fun and exciting is because she has a boyfriend. I let these girls know that while I love hanging out with them, our relationship is partially defined by having this third man in the picture. If she wants to leave him then it should be because it’s not working out with him, not because she thinks I will get into a relationship with her. Of course, saying this makes her want me even more because I’m pushing her away, and her instinct is to come closer. Sex with taken girls is fun because they have so much bottled up sexual energy from being unhappy that the passion is explosive.

One Of Your Friends Has Already Banged Her

Do you really want your friend’s sloppy seconds? I know, she is hot or she is really cool, but there are no other girls you can go for?

The kind of guy who is willing to go after a friend’s ex-girl is one that needs to get there and work on his game the most. You want to build your game up to the point where you wouldn’t even consider sloppy seconds because you have other options on the table. The exception is if she is a doorknob and everyone is getting a turn for fun.

She Wants To Fight You

You may approach a random girl who takes an immediate dislike to your game. In most situations you can just walk away, but once in a while you will get a girl whose sole reason for existing is to make men feel small. She will make snide remarks, stalk you, get in your face, wave her hands in the air, or cock her head back and forth like a pigeon. It's important in these cases to always assert your dominance. You cannot let her think you will stand down even if you have no intention of fighting. You must go "over the top" and come back at her even harder then she came at you. This means you need to scare her into thinking you will level her. Say, "Get out of my face or I'm gonna knock you out." She will back down because there is no woman out there who wants to receive a punch from a man. Chances are this will never happen to you, but it is best to keep a plan of action in the back of your mind just in case.

She Lives With Her Parents

This is not a big deal unless you also live with your parents and can’t bring a girl back to your place. If that’s the case then you are cockblocked until you can think of a creative solution. If the first time you sleep with a girl is in a car, public park, or some cheap motel, then so be it.

She’s In College Or High School And You’re Not

There is only one thing you need to know about a school girl: their behavior is driven more by her friends’ opinions then her own. She’s not doing what she wants to do, she is doing what she thinks her friends want her to do. If her friends don’t like you, then you are not having sex with her. Make a good impression on her friends by being the fun guy with a sense of humor who is cool to be around. If her friends see you as a cool guy then the girl will see you as a cool guy.

She’s An Au Pair

An au pair is a foreign girl that is in the U.S. for a limited amount of time, usually one year. She is hosted by an American couple who pays her to take care of their children. Often times she will go to school, but she is not allowed to perform any other type of work. These girls hang out with other au pairs and enjoy their American experience at mainstream clubs. I like au pairs because they are the closest you can get to a foreign girl without going to a foreign land. But they do make logistics difficult: they don’t have their own place, they have curfews that limit the times you can take them out at night, they don’t have a reliable means of transportation, and their money situation is so tight that you will always be paying.

You will be tempted to highlight your American qualities to make yourself appear exotic, but resist this urge and rely on your typical game; it’s almost a guarantee that she has already met a lot of American men by the time she has met you. If there is a language barrier then try some loud venues. Show an interest in her culture, let her teach you a couple curse words in her language, and treat her like you would any other girl.

There Is A Big Age Difference

Get it out of your mind that you are either too young or too old for any girl. Most girls have an age range in their head but it can always be broken. The only time you will really get complaints is from older women who say that you are too young. I don’t recall an instance where a younger girl said I’m too old and I’ve had experiences with girls nine years younger than me. Raise the objection before she does, like it’s a problem for you. If she is more than two years older than you, run the break-up routine with a reason that she is too old for you. Or out of the blue you can say, "I think you are too old for me." She will get defensive and say you are too young for her but it’s too late because you brought it up first and she looks like she’s playing catch-up. Now that you qualified her, she will say something like, "Age is only a number." You can also joke, "I don’t know if an older woman such as yourself can satisfy a young man’s needs." Switch it up if a girl is young by saying, "I don’t know if a young girl such as yourself can satisfy the needs of an older, mature man." Qualify the young girl by making it seem like you are unsure of her life experience. I used to have a hard time telling a girl she is too old for me. I used to think it was a mean thing to say and the older woman would get mad at throw her drink on me, but if you say it with confidence and a smirk on your face, she will respond playfully. Do it before she does!

She Has A Busy Social Calendar

These girls are bad news. They are the ones who go out at least three times a week and each time they do is such a big deal because her friends are celebrating something like a birthday or three month boyfriend anniversary. She will turn down your first date suggestion and instead ask if you want to come and meet her out with her friends. Say no. You will accomplish very little if her friends are watching. After you make two attempts to get her out alone, tell her, "I don’t think I can compete with your busy social calendar. How about you give me a call when you get some free time and you want to get a drink." You can usually find out about these girls early because she’ll give you her number but mention how busy she is. In that case, don’t get that number because she is basically saying she’ll never make herself available for you. Find girls who have less than three dozen active friends and are able to find a balance between friends and lovers.

She’s A Mom

One good thing about mothers is that you know they like sex. Even though she is easy, she will make it seem like she is looking for something serious and that she is tired of "boys" who play "games." What she is really saying is she wants another man to take care of a child that is not his. Give her the peace of mind that you are open to building something with someone you have a connection with, and then get her in bed like you would any other girl. I recommend you drop her immediately after sex. You really don’t need the drama or baggage that comes from single mothers who get knocked up by men who don’t care for them. And the fact that she has a child means she is more fertile than the Nile River.

She Lives Far Away

Decide right now how far you are willing to drive or commute to a girl’s house. For me it is 45 minutes of driving. If she tells me where she lives and it’s farther than 45 minutes, I tell her that’s out of my range and I’m not good at long distance relationships. If she hangs around you then tell her she has to drive to your neighborhood for the first couple dates because you have to tendency to fall asleep on long drives at night and don’t want to die. Stick with the time you decide. There is going to be a case where you meet an especially hot girl who lives just outside your range. You will want to make an exception for her but doing so will cause you to unconsciously put her on a pedestal. Bad game will leak out as a result. If you do end up dating a girl who lives far but not outside your range, drive to her area half the time and make her drive to yours half the time. Driving is effort too.

She’s Leaving Town For More Than Three Days

A girl leaving town is always death, especially if you haven’t had sex with her yet. The best reason I can come up with to explain this is that it inserts an unnatural pause during the critical early stage of a relationship. Your best defense is to go on a date with her right before she leaves. It doesn’t have to be a long date. If you are already having sex with her, do the same thing but be sure to bang the hell out of her. Really let her have it. You want to be fresh in her mind while she is exploring this new world where exciting things "just happen."

The other issue you have to deal with is whether to call her while she is away. If she’s going to be gone for around a week, calling at least once is a good idea. If you call once and she calls you back right away and seems interested in talking, you can even think about calling her again in a couple days. But if she takes her time returning your call and is somewhat distant on the phone, then one call is enough. Also pay attention to what she says when you wish her well on your trip. If she says something like, "I’ll have my phone with me," then that means she wants you to call her. Set another date soon after she comes back to keep the momentum going. Remember: out of sight, out of mind.

She’s Poor

Paying on dates is a form of putting in effort, but this is something that poor girls will never be able to do. Even when she is not completely broke, if I’m making money and she’s a lowly student who is working a second job to pay tuition, I am hesitant to let her pay. If you will always be paying for her, go for cheap dates. You want to put in the minimum amount of financial effort because there is no way for her to reciprocate. Stick to cafés, walks, or cooking at home. Until you get sex, you don’t want her to interpret your spending as too much interest. And you definitely don’t want to treat her out to nice places so she does everything she can to continue the free ride of meals and drinks. Don’t create an expectation that you will spend money on her for nothing in return. If she doesn’t get the hint that you aren’t Mr. Moneybags, let her know that you are on a budget and saving for your next exciting vacation, and would prefer fun and creative dates that are inexpensive.

She Wants To Have Sex But You Don’t Have A Condom

Buy a couple boxes of condoms and start placing them in all your jacket pockets, your backpack or laptop bag, your car glove compartment, and your best friends’ car glove compartments. Have one condom that stays next to your cologne that you put in your pocket when you go out to talk to girls. You want to maximize the chance that there will be a condom nearby when sex is about to occur. While you may not get a one night stand for some time, if it happens you want to be prepared. Your worst nightmare is not having a condom when you are on top of a naked girl who is begging you to bang her. Don’t put yourself in the situation where you will take a risk: if alcohol is involved and you are horny, chances are you will bang her raw and then regret it the next day. Getting laid is challenging enough―don’t make it harder by not being prepared.

You Like Her A Lot More Than She Likes You

This is a dangerous situation for you to be in. You always want the girl to like you more than you like her so she flakes less and puts in more effort. This in turn leads to a higher chance of sex occurring. All this if reversed if you like her more, and it just gets worse as the difference between how much she likes you and how much you like her increases out of your favor. While you can’t change your gut feelings for a girl, you can fight it with some reprogramming by pretending that you don’t like her. Stop describing her as hot in your head. Think of her as cute instead. Stop fantasizing about her before you go to bed. Jerk off to porn stars that looks nothing like her instead. Stop thinking how great she is. Focus on her negative qualities instead. You want to shrink the attraction discrepancy as much as possible so bad, needy game doesn’t leak out. The leaking is inevitable if you convince yourself this girl is a possible girlfriend. Not until she reciprocates and makes it clear she likes you can you increase your feelings for her. Getting with your crush works well for guys in the movies, but not in real life.

She Doesn’t Drink

Don’t change anything if she doesn’t drink, but expect more resistance and an increase in the amount of time it takes to have sex with her. Give a sober girl five dates as the deadline for sex, two extra than normal.

I have no problem admitting that alcohol helps my game immensely. The more a girl drinks, the more she removes mental blocks to having sex with me. It’s a magic drug that is not only legal but something girls like to self-administer. If she is a drinker, simply allow her to drink. Keep in mind that unless you are talking about one night stands, alcohol doesn’t create notches that weren’t going to happen already―it only shortens the time it takes for it to happen. I’ll do a non-alcoholic first date in some cases, but by date two she’s drinking because five dates is too long for me to find out how she is in bed.

She’s A Virgin

Every man should experience the awkwardness of banging a virgin. This is where you go very slow, watch her grimace in pain, and get told several times to be gentle because it hurts. Hot, right? But after a couple times of this you can start to mold her into the slut you’ve always wanted. You are her teacher and she will listen to you because you’re an alpha male who exposed her to the sexual world. Most guys move slowly with getting virgins in bed, but you are going to be persistent like with non-virgins. If a girl tells you she is a virgin, reply with, "Oh, don’t worry, I’ll take care of you." Her virginity is a disease and you are the cure. You will be aggressive with escalation moves because you are not going to change your game just because she has this problem of sexual inexperience. Break her down by constantly pushing until she relents. You are not a guy who is going to be patient like all the other nice guys in her life; her virginity is a testament to the failure of that strategy. You have strong sexual needs she needs to fulfill within a reasonable amount of time, or else you need to move on.

The Condom Breaks

If you don’t pay attention to whether the condom is still on or not, you may turn a minor issue into an accidental pregnancy. If you are banging her with a condom and then it suddenly starts feeling really good, it’s because the condom broke. You now just have a ring of latex around the base of your cock. Pull out, say, "I have to get another condom," put on another one, and then resume banging her. No big deal. With experience you should not go more than a couple strokes knowing that you are raw. You want to minimize your exposure to the naked vagina because the dose is the poison―the longer you’re in there, the more likely something bad could happen. Don’t count on girls to tell you the condom broke because it’s very difficult for them to notice.

She’s A Bad Lay

Problems with sexual performance may be due to her lack of movement, vocalization, or mouth usage. Before the next time you have sex, say, "I want to try a couple things that I think will make it better for us both." Then tell her exactly what you want her to do. It will take persistent work on your behalf to change sexual habits she has been doing for a long time, so unless you consider the girl longterm material, it’s probably not worth the energy.

She’s Just Not Putting Out

So you tried everything, went on multiple dates, performed every trick in the book, and you can’t even get off her jeans. Most guys will wait her out until she is ready to have sex, but I don’t advise this because you would be entering a relationship where she has complete control. The energy you put into her could be better spent getting sex from other girls. No girl should have unlimited time with you to do something that you consider critical to the continuation of a healthy relationship. Don’t play by her rules: chalk her up as a learning experience and move on. Tell her that the lack of intimacy is a problem for you and it’s best if you two become friends. If she gets upset and makes it seem like she really does like you, you may want to give her just one more date to put out, but not more than that. Not every girl you date is going to put out, and there is no point wasting your time when there are so many who will.

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Content

h Valizadeh Roosh Bang, or more lays in 60 days

Prologue

Your Goal

Beware

INTERNAL GAME

Game, Not Appearance

Nature Vs Nurture

Confidence

Alphas And Betas

Your Mind Is Slow

EARLY GAME

Rejection Is A Beautiful Thing

What’s The Worst That Can Happen?

Approach Barrier

Venues

The Approach

Approach Logistics

The Vibe

Conversation, Themes, And Threads

Routines

Compliments And Insults

When She’s Interested

Landmines

Wingmen

Thirty Minutes And Beyond

No Friendship

Dancing

Escalating To The Kiss

The Venue Change

MIDDLE GAME

Date Venues

Phone Game

Text Communication

The First Date

Changing Gears

The Strawberry Game

Date Escalation

LATE GAME

Once Inside

Taking Off Her Clothes

Sealing The Deal

Future Dates

After Sex

Relationships

END GAME

Find A Niche

Fin

APPENDIX

Approaching From A Car

Approaching On The Street

Approaching In A Coffee Shop

Approaching In Your Social Circle

Approaching In The Gym

Approaching In Foreign Countries

She’s A Feminist

She’s Shy Or Doesn’t Talk Much

She Doesn’t Speak Good English

You Don’t Know Which Girl To Pick

You Forgot Her Name

Her Breath Smells

She Has A Boyfriend, Fiancé, Or Husband

One Of Your Friends Has Already Banged Her

She Wants To Fight You

She Lives With Her Parents

She’s In College Or High School And You’re Not

She’s An Au Pair

There Is A Big Age Difference

She Has A Busy Social Calendar

She’s A Mom

She Lives Far Away

She’s Leaving Town For More Than Three Days

She’s Poor

She Wants To Have Sex But You Don’t Have A Condom

You Like Her A Lot More Than She Likes You

She Doesn’t Drink

She’s A Virgin

The Condom Breaks

She’s A Bad Lay

She’s Just Not Putting Out