Brenda Janowitz

Based On A True Story

Chapter One

You know that feeling you get when everything seems to be right with the world? When the planets seem to be aligned? One of those days when you're actually running on time, your apartment is (relatively) clean and you haven't gotten into an argument with your mother/best friend/boss/therapist in at least a week? That's exactly how I feel today.

And why not? Last spring, I survived my ex-boyfriend's wedding with my dignity ever-so-slightly intact, and now I'm engaged to a man I love and working at a job that I don't hate. Which, as a lawyer in New York City is really the most you can hope for. Well, okay, so maybe going to my ex-boyfriend's wedding wasn't really as easy as I'm making it sound. But the fact that me and my dignity survived at all is a miracle in itself. You see, mere days before the wedding, my gorgeous Scottish boyfriend, Douglas, broke up with me and announced that he was getting engaged to someone else. Devastating, right? But I didn't panic (much)-I had a plan-I simply took my friend Jack as my date instead.

Okay, okay, it was more like I forced my friend Jack to pretend to be Douglas, thus helping me to keep my dignity ever-so-slightly intact for the whole of Trip's wedding, but it was really just a harmless little lie, you know? Who would ever be the wiser? Certainly not my ex, Trip, and definitely not my more recent ex, Douglas. Wow, I have so many ex-boyfriends that I'm even confusing myself…. And Jack was such a good friend that he really didn't mind one bit. Not even a little.

Anyway, how hard could it be to pretend to be Douglas? So he's obsessively Scottish and was planning to wear a kilt to the wedding. And so what if I had already warned Trip of that in advance (hey, if you were going to your ex's wedding, you'd play up the hunky Scottish boyfriend in a kilt, too). So the little charade took slightly more than a name change. But it couldn't be that difficult for Jack to don a kilt and a fake accent, right?

Turns out it wasn't easy-but Jack made it look easy. We went to Trip's wedding, pulled off the charade, had a great time and then, as an added bonus, fell madly in love. And now we are a bona fide couple, on our way towards marching down the aisle ourselves. See, sometimes the cliché is right-every cloud does have a silver lining.

Which is why this morning, I didn't have a care in world about what I would wear for dinner tonight. Even though it's a dinner with Trip, my ex-boyfriend. And his beautiful movie-star wife, Ava Huang. Yes, that Ava Huang. The perfect Hollywood «It» girl, Ava Huang. Who has an Academy Award nomination. And a royal title.

It's not like I'm jealous or anything.

I mean, what's to be jealous of? My fiancé, Jack, recently made partner at a large law firm in Manhattan. In many ways, I think that's harder to do than to get an Oscar nomination. To get her nomination, all Ava had to do was play an autistic transvestite who was sexually abused as a child and grew up to cure cancer. And everyone knows that when a gorgeous actress does a role where she gets to look ugly she gets an Oscar nod. Whereas Jack had to work twelve to fourteen hour days for nine years before they even considered him for partner. And, I mean, to be born royal, you only have to…well…be born, so working your butt off to make partner for years is certainly more impressive than that.

So there was no reason to give a second thought to what I'd wear to dinner with my ex and his movie-star wife tonight. I mean, I'm engaged now, so what does it really matter what I'm wearing? Soon, I'll be a married woman myself and I'll be much too busy being the normal well-adjusted wife that I am to worry about the little insecurities that I entertained when I was single.

I mean, when you're an engaged woman, does it really matter what you wear for a weeknight after-work dinner? What do you have to prove, really? This is just like any other casual dinner with friends. Even if one is an ex-boyfriend and the other is his Oscar-nominated wife. In fact, I specifically didn't think twice about what I would wear tonight because I'm so above such petty jealousies.

And now, as I sit here at my desk, mere hours away from tonight's dinner, only one thing pops into my mind: WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? Clearly this morning I was delusional. I'm having dinner with a MOVIE STAR, for the love of God! I must go home immediately and change.

From: «Brooke Miller»

To: «Jack Solomon»

Subject: Re: tonight

running home to change before dinner. want to look cute for you! pick me up at the apartment instead of the office tonight? love you.

Brooke Miller

Sent from my wireless handheld

I race out of my office and hop into a taxi cab. As I give the driver my address, my BlackBerry begins to buzz.

From: «Jack Solomon»

To: «Brooke Miller»

Subject: Re: Re: tonight

Love you, too.

Jack Solomon

Gilson, Hecht and Trattner

425 Park Avenue

11th Floor

New York, New York 10022

*****CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE***** The information contained in this e-mail message is confidential and is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, we would request you delete this communication without reading it or any attachment, not forward or otherwise distribute it, and kindly advise Gilson, Hecht & Trattner by return email to the sender or a telephone call to 1 (800) GILSON. Thank you in advance.

I can barely contain my smile as the cab lurches uptown and we arrive at my apartment building. I just know that the second Jack picks me up in a cab he'll flash his baby blue eyes at me and say, «I am the luckiest man in the world. Never leave me, Brooke, for without you, I would surely die,» or something as equally heartfelt and romantic.

I rush up to my apartment, turn on my mp3 player and march into the bathroom. That's it-freshening up with a little «getting ready» music will put me in a good mood. The radio begins to blast an old Madonna song from the 80s and I dance around the bathroom, mood lightening. After all, when Madonna tells you to «get up and dance and sing,» you listen.

Throwing my head upside down, I give it a few good shakes. Flipping my hair back and standing upright, I look at my reflection in the mirror. Ever since I cut eight and a half inches off of my signature locks, I've also taken to wearing my hair with more of its natural curl in it. This past summer, I even let it dry naturally on days that I wasn't appearing in court (for those days, I resorted to my old tried-and-true classic bun), and with the Indian Summer we are having this September, I'm still doing the same.

I pull out the bathroom mirrors so that I can see myself in 3-D.I look okay , I tell myself.I look fine . After all, it's just a casual dinner at a local French restaurant with some friends. One of whom is my ex-boyfriend. Who just happens to be married to one of the biggest movie stars in the world-

What if the paparazzi is there? I wouldn't want to embarrass my friends and family by being photographed with frizzy hair. I really am a very considerate girl.

I must go get my hair blown out. Letting my hair dry naturally and frizz ever so slightly is okay for an evening at home with my fiancé who already gave me a ring and asked my father for permission and all that-he's already stuck with me-but it just won't cut it for dinner at Pastis with a real, live movie star.

And anyway, it's really not all that uncommon to get your hair professionally done. I heard once that Marilyn Monroe used to wash and set her hair up to three times a day when she was on a movie set. I mean, if Marilyn Monroe in her heyday had to constantly wash and set her hair, what hope do we normal gals have, anyway?

Oh please! As if you wouldn't get your hair washed and blown out if you were going out to dinner with your ex-boyfriend and his movie-star wife!

From: «Brooke Miller»

To: «Jack Solomon» ‹ jsolomon@gilsonhecht.com ›

Subject: Re: Re: Re: tonight

on second thought, why don't you pick me up at the cheap hair place on the corner of lex and 62nd? i want to get gorgeous for you….

Brooke Miller

Sent from my wireless handheld

From: «Jack Solomon» ‹ jsolomon@gilsonhecht.com ›

To: «Brooke Miller»

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: tonight

of course you do.

Jack Solomon

Gilson, Hecht and Trattner

425 Park Avenue

11th Floor

New York, New York 10022

*****CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE***** The information contained in this e-mail message is confidential and is intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If you are not the intended recipient, we would request you delete this communication without reading it or any attachment, not forward or otherwise distribute it, and kindly advise Gilson, Hecht & Trattner by return email to the sender or a telephone call to 1 (800) GILSON. Thank you in advance.

Perfect! I have just enough time to change into my newest little black dress, get to the hair place and get my hair washed and blown out straight. And maybe if there's time I can get a manicure. And have my make-up done, too. But only if there's time.

What? I wouldn't want to keep the paparazzi waiting.

Chapter Two

“You had your make-up done, too?” my fiancé, Jack, asks as I slide into the Town Car. “How much did getting ready for this dinner set you back?”

“I just wanted to look beautiful for you,” I say, giving him a peck on the lips.

“Well,” he says, “I’m just glad to see that this has nothing to do with the fact that we’re having dinner with your ex-boyfriend and his movie-star wife.”

“No,” I say, laughing, “of course not!”

“Yes,” he says, putting his hand on my leg, “of course.”

Fifteen minutes later, we’re down in the Meatpacking District, pulling up to Pastis. Ah, Pastis-a restaurant which would be considered a casual French bistro if it was not for the fact that it is a huge celebrity hangout and has a three month waiting list for a reservation.

The second my foot hits the cobblestone street, I hear my ex-boyfriend, Trip, call out my name. He and his wife, Ava, are already ensconced at one of the outside tables. Getting a reservation at Pastis is hard enough, but getting an outside table is nearly impossible. Of course, within the first five minutes of conversation, Trip drops the fact that this is their regular table.

You know those celebrities who go out to restaurants at odd hours and take tables in the corner, facing inside, desperate not to be seen or recognized? Trip and Ava are not those kind of celebrities.

“So, I said to DiCaprio,” Trip says, making no effort at all to lower his voice, reveling in the fact that this causes all of the nearby tables to turn and look at him, “if you don’t do it, you’re insane!” To which he and Ava laugh hysterically and Jack and I merely smile politely.

Eating with Trip and Ava is incredibly difficult. Every so often, you see the flash of a bulb go off and you just know that a papparrazo somewhere out there has just taken your picture. You feel the constant glare of camera phones on you as you try to take a bite of your steak sandwich. I’m desperately trying to eat in an attractive way, which is no easy feat, I assure you.

I guess this is why Ava is so thin.

“That crazy DiCaprio,” Jack says in a Scottish accent.

Okay, so you remember the funny story about Trip’s wedding? Just your typical girl-gets-invited-to-her-ex-boyfriend’s-wedding-only-to-be-broken-up-with-by-her-awful-cad-of-a-Scottish-boyfriend-mere-minutes-before-the-wedding-forcing-girl-to-drag-her-best-friend-Jack-in-his-place-and-make-him-wear-a-kilt-and-speak-with-a-Scottish-accent-in-a-desperate-attempt-to-keep-her-dignity-ever-so-slightly-intact sort of story. Well, Trip kinda, sorta still doesn’t know that Jack was posing as Douglas. So they still think Jack is Douglas. Which means he still has to fake the accent.

And I have to pretend that that day was perfectly normal, that I was just like any other woman who goes to her ex’s wedding. Okay, so I understand that most women don’t get invited to their ex-boyfriend’s weddings. And I realize that most women don’t RSVP “yes” to their ex-boyfriend’s weddings because they are dating gorgeous hunky Scotsmen and they want to show up to their exes. And, okay, most women, when then broken up with by their hunky Scotsmen, don’t recruit their friends to take his place and pretend to be him. And pretend to be engaged to said faux-Scotsman. But, then again, I’m not most girls.

And therein lies my charm. I think. I’m pretty sure Jack told me that once. Or at least I think he did. Didn’t he? Anyway, the point is, I’m not most girls. And Jack, luckily for me, is not most guys.

And I’m lucky that he’s not. Since going to Trip’s wedding as a fake couple, Jack and I have actually become a real couple. Which was an easy transition since we were the best of friends before the wedding. It just took a trip to LA and seeing Jack in a kilt for me to realize that he was the one for me. And now that I have, I have no intention of ever going back to being just friends again. Because Jack is amazing. As evidenced by the fact that he’s dressed up as a Scotsman once again, phony accent and all, just to save my pride. And he even remembered to bring me the fake engagement ring I wore to Trip’s wedding, which I swapped out for my real one when Jack picked me up in the cab.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. How can she go on like this? It’s easy, really. You see, I don’t plan to see Trip and Ava ever again after tonight. And, I’m sure, after having to feign a Scottish accent for an entire evening, by tomorrow, Jack will be of a similar mind. Maybe even later tonight. We’re only here in the first place to be polite (that, and the fact that I was unsuccessful in dodging Trip’s calls. He had his assistant call me seven times. Yes, seven! I wonder how many times he had to call Leo to get him on the phone…).

Trip’s assistant assured me that there was something that Trip just had to tell me. And I just had to know what it was. Trip and I always had a very competitive relationship, even back when we were an item in law school, but now I can’t imagine there’s much left for him to say to me. Still, curiosity got the best of me. But, really, what could he possibly be here to announce? I mean, he’s won, hasn’t he? He was married first and to an Oscar-nominated star, at that. It’s really not much of a contest. I get it.

Why am I at this dinner again?

“So, did he say yes?” I ask. I don’t want to ask, but Trip so clearly wants me to ask more about his silly little Leonardo DiCaprio story. The man is so starved for attention. Trip, I mean. Not Leonardo DiCaprio. I’ve never met Leonardo DiCaprio, but I’m sure that he’s very well adjusted and nice. Although he was a child star (who didn’t love him on Growing Pains ?!), so maybe he’s not as nice as he seems, even though he does feel passionate about the environment. But I digress….

“As a matter of fact, Brooke,” he said, “he did. Leo’s going to be starring in Ava’s next picture.”

It drives me insane that Trip calls movies “pictures” as if he’s Orson Welles or something. He’s not even her director. He’s just her agent. Isn’t there some sort of confidentiality thing he’s violating here? Note to self: write a note to the bar association to determine confidentiality implications of an agent being romantically involved with the actress he’s representing.

“Great,” Jack says, “Jolly good.”

I don’t think that Scots say things like “jolly good,” but I let it slide since Jack’s being so great by pretending to be a Scotsman on a weeknight. Anyway, the industry talk is probably the only saving grace for Jack this evening. Jack always wanted to be an actor but never really made a go of it. He’s like a lot of litigators-frustrated thespians who use their dramatic flair in the courtroom instead of on the stage.

“And Ava will be playing the lead,” Trip continues, as the waiter begins clearing out plates. I say a tiny prayer that Trip and Ava won’t want to order dessert and that Jack and I can get out of here. “DiCaprio will be the ex-boyfriend whose wedding Ava attends.”

Suddenly, time begins moving in slow motion.

“Excuse me?” I ask. Surely, I must have misheard Trip.

“Oh, did I forget to mention that?” Trip asks, a tiny smirk creeping onto his lips. “The picture is about a woman who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding.”

This story is beginning to sound alarmingly familiar.

“Let me get this straight,” I say, “Ava’s next movie is about a girl who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding?”

“Yeah,” Trip says with a laugh. “You inspired me to write it!”

“You wrote it?” I ask. Back in law school Trip couldn’t write to save his life. Or his GPA.

“Well,” he says, “I’m in the process of writing it. But we already have a deal in place. And now, we’ve got our stars attached!”

“Who’s going to play Jack?” Jack asks, Scottish accent all but gone.

“Who’s Jack?” Trip asks.

“Douglas,” I say, correcting Jack. “He means Douglas. Who’s going to play Douglas?”

“It’s hard to find someone who can do a convincing Scottish accent,” Ava says. “That’s the real obstacle we’re having now.”

“You really just need someone who can fake a Scottish accent,” Jack offers and I grab at his knee under the table. Unfortunately for me, this does not have the intended effect. He thinks I’m flirting, and so he grabs at my waist. Sometimes it’s a real curse to be so darned irresistible.

“Is the point of this dinner to ask me if you can make a movie about me?” I ask. “Because you can’t. I mean, I’d prefer it if you didn’t do that.” After all, I know my rights. And the second I get home, I will log onto my computer to find out just exactly what they are.

“I don’t have to ask your permission to write a movie about you,” Trip says. “Remember, I went to law school, too, and so I know that I don’t have to ask your permission for this. You’re not famous.”

Thank you, Trip, for reminding me of that very, very obvious fact.

“Well, how do you know I won’t sue you?” I ask.

“You’re not going to sue me,” he says, laughing at the mere thought of it, “but anyway, even if you do, the studio has a team of lawyers.”

“Well, that’s good to know,” I say. “Because it sounds like you could have a lawsuit or two on your hands.”

“Well, I thank you for your concern, Brooke,” Trip says. “But what I’d really love to do is to interview you. Get some more background information for the script. Whaddya say? For old times sake?”

“Um,” I eek out. “No, thank you.”

And really, I don’t want to do it. And it’s not just because Trip is my ex-boyfriend. And it’s not just because Trip doesn’t know the whole story behind my attendance at his wedding. Actually, those are pretty good reasons in of themselves, aren’t they? Yes, they definitely are….

But, more importantly, it’s because he’s writing a movie about my life. And not about the good parts, either. I’m sure he doesn’t have a scene about all of the charity work I do here in the city. Well, okay, fine, I don’t have a ton of time for charity since I work fourteen hour days regularly, but I do attend my fair share of black-tie charity events, so that should count. Or, say, he could write a scene about the time I helped that blind lady cross Lexington that day at lunch. That would be nice.

But I just know that that’s not the kind of movie he’ll be writing. No, he’s going to be writing a movie about a sad single girl in New York City. Instead of scenes that showcase her fabulousness, he’ll be writing scenes where she obsesses endlessly about going to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding. Instead of scenes that show how hard she works at her big-time law firm, there will be scenes where she does silly thing after silly thing in a fruitless attempt to keep her dignity ever-so-slightly intact, and instead ends up looking like a fool. No, thank you!

And, also, when I think about what I spent this evening on hair and make-up alone, I just cannot afford having to see Trip on a day-to-day basis. Case closed.

I don’t really know what’s said for the rest of the dinner. It barely registers who paid the bill or if we even paid the bill at all. I’m in a daze for the rest of the time and all I can think is: my ex-boyfriend is making a movie about me.

Jack shuttles me into a cab and I open the window to get a gust of cool air as we head uptown.

“So,” Jack says, turning to face me, “do you think they’ll offer me a part?”

Chapter Three

“Wow,” my best friend Vanessa says.

“I know.”

“Wow.”

“I know,” I repeat.

“Wow.”

“Okay, you’re going to need to say something other than ‘wow.’”

“I can’t think of anything else to say,” she says, and sinks into her chair. We’re at Bernard’s Gourmet on Third Avenue for lunch. I needed to convene a special counsel to discuss the fact that my ex-boyfriend is making a movie about my life. And that it’s starring his gorgeous movie-star wife. You’d really think that a big-time Hollywood agent and his movie-star wife would have better things to do with their time than to ruin my life.

But, no.

“Maybe I should be flattered,” I say, taking a bite of my Cobb salad. “I mean, clearly, my life is so interesting that Trip thinks the entire movie-going public of America wants to know about it.”

“Don’t forget Europe,” Vanessa says. “American movies play overseas, too.” She takes a bite out of her hamburger and I silently curse her for the fact that she can eat whatever she wants and I gain weight if I even look at a hamburger. Maybe this is owing to the fact that she’s five-foot eight and a marathon runner who religiously runs six miles a day-but still. And more important than the fact that she’s thin, she’s so gorgeous that if her ex-boyfriend made a movie about her life, they’d probably be asking her if she’d consider playing herself.

Yes, Vanessa is tall and gorgeous and thin. I have no idea why I’m friends with her.

“And Asia,” she adds. “Don’t forget about Asia.”

“Okay, I won’t. So, my ex-boyfriend is making a movie out of the single most humiliating moment of my life,” I say. “No big deal, right? I’m sure that this is the sort of thing that happens to lots of women out there every day.”

“I’m sure it happens all the time,” she says.

I can tell she’s lying by the way she self-consciously smoothes her hand over her short hair, but I don’t care. It still makes me feel better.

“And being friendly with an ex really isn’t that big of a deal, is it?” I ask, taking a bite of my salad, only allowing myself the tiniest bit of dressing. I mean, so what?”

“So what, indeed,” she says and dips one of her French fries into the ketchup.

“I mean, so what if my ex decides to take the most embarrassing moment of my life and turn it into a major motion picture starring his new wife?” I say, taking another bite of salad, this time abandoning the dressing altogether. “And so what if said new wife has to gain twenty pounds just to play me? I mean, so what?”

“So what!” Vanessa says, slamming her fist down on the table, and I can practically hear a choir rising up in the background.

“Just because I’m not married and I’m not royalty and I’m not an Academy Award nominated actress, I’m still fabulous anyway, right?”

Oh please. As if you wouldn’t be fishing for compliments the day after you found out that your ex-boyfriend was making a movie out of your life.

“Fabulous enough for them to make a movie all about you and your crazy adventures,” Vanessa says, motioning to the waiter for refills on our diet iced teas.

“Yes,” I say. “That’s right. I’m fabulous.” I smile at Vanessa. Sometimes I forget just how truly fabulous I am.

“Did you convince yourself on that one?” she asks.

“No,” I say, looking down at my Cobb salad and then scooping up a forkful of bacon. I silently decide that you don’t have to stay on your diet on the day after you find out your ex-boyfriend is making a movie out of how pathetic your life is. “Did I convince you?”

“Nope,” she says, and goes back to her fries. “But one good thing to come out of this is the fact that Trip knows everything about you going to his wedding. It’s all out in the open, so you don’t have to hide any secrets anymore.”

The secret. I’d nearly forgotten about that. You’d think that once your ex is making a movie about your life, it can’t get worse. But you’d be wrong.

“Right,” I say, grabbing at a stray napkin that’s on the table. I tear it into two pieces and then into four. Vanessa regards me.

“Oh, no,” she says.

“What?” I ask, tearing the napkin in my hand into eight pieces.

“So, he doesn’t know?” she asks and I keep my eyes firmly planted on the floor. “You haven’t told him that you actually brought a fake date to his wedding?”

“About that…”

“That Douglas broke up with you on the eve of his wedding so you brought Jack instead and made him wear a kilt and speak with a Scottish accent?”

“I was there,” I say, “you don’t have to remind me what happened.”

“But Trip doesn’t know any of that?” she asks, staring at me with such intensity that I can feel her eyes burning into my head.

“No idea,” I say, without bringing my eyes up to meet Vanessa’s.

“Then what the hell is the movie about?”

“A girl who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding,” I say, taking a sip of my iced tea. “Apparently, that’s interesting enough in of itself to turn into a movie. You don’t even need the fake kilt part.”

“Brooke,” she says, employing the same tone she’d use in speaking to a small child.

“Well, I don’t see why I should have to say anything,” I say, scooping more bacon onto my fork and dipping it into the dressing. Then I take another bite and pile bacon onto blue cheese and dipthat into the dressing.

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t tell Trip,” she says, shrugging her shoulders.

Um, is she kidding me?! “You don’t see why I wouldn’t?” I cry out, my voice an octave higher than I intend it to be. “Well, for starters, it makes me look like a huge loser-”

“But you have Jack now,” Vanessa says, cutting me off. “Nothing matters anymore now that you have Jack. He’s what’s important. Not some silly semblance of your pride that you’re trying to protect.”

She’s right. When I think about Jack and how lucky I am to have finally found love, I can’t help but feel silly that I’m still obsessing over the fact that my ex got married before me.

The first thing that I’m going to do tomorrow is to call Trip and tell him everything. That Douglas broke up with me right before his wedding so I brought Jack instead. And that in order to keep my dignity ever-so-slightly intact, I made Jack pretend to be Douglas, which meant that he had to don a kilt and a fake Scottish accent and I had to wear a fake engagement ring. But none of that matters anymore since Jack and I are together for real and it’s wonderful and it’s everything I always wanted but never realized was right in front of me because I was too busy thinking that all the wrong things were important. But now I’ve got my head screwed on straight, and I’m engaged to an amazing guy. I will call Trip immediately and tell him all of these things.

But first, I’m going to steal some of Vanessa’s French fries and order myself a hamburger.

Chapter Four

«Well, this is unexpected,» I say, as Trip saunters into my office. I think, but don't say: and unwelcome. First, I silently curse Trip for showing up unannounced. Then I silently curse my assistant for not announcing that he'd arrived.

You see, today's the day I'm supposed to be coming clean to Trip about the fact that I brought a fake date to his wedding-the wedding that he's making a major motion picture about-but he's shown up unexpectedly and I'm not really mentally prepared to tell him the truth just yet.

Maybe I should ask him to come back on a day where I've had time to go to the spa to get a massage, manicure and pedicure? Maybe even a facial. Or even a scrub. Yes, I'm sure a scrub would do the trick. Surely then I'd be more relaxed and prepared to admit the fact that I was too embarrassed to tell him that Douglas broke up with me on the eve of his wedding, so I made Jack dress up as a Scotsman and pretend to be Douglas? But I ask you: is there ever a good time to tell your ex-boyfriend that your man broke up with you on the eve of his wedding so you made your best friend dress up as him and come with you?

Wine. I was going to need some wine before I do this.

«Is now a good time?» Trip asks, settling into one of my leather visitor chairs, his stance indicating that he didn't actually care whether or not it was, in fact, a good time for me. I slip off my real engagement ring and reach into my pocketbook to try to find the fake ring I wore to Trip's wedding. «I thought we could bat around some ideas for the screenplay.»

The fake ring is nowhere to be found. I decide to forgo wearing any ring at all. After all, no ring would be better than wearing a ring he's never seen before, right?

Although wouldn't it be great if you could have more than one engagement ring and then just wear whichever one matched your mood? Maybe I could get that started as a trend…. Focus, Brooke!

«You mean the screenplay you're writing about my life,» I say, looking him dead in the eyes.

«I mean the screenplay about my wedding and how I invited my ex-girlfriend,» he says, returning my gaze. «See, Brooke, it's really my story to tell.»

«Isn't Ava the star of the movie, not Leo?»

«Well, yes,» he says, picking at an imaginary piece of lint on his jacket.

«So, then, it's really her story to tell,» I say, folding my arms across my chest. «It's the ex-girlfriend's story.» I couldn't help but smile at my little victory. I always was a better litigator than Trip.

«Look, Brooke. I just need something more to really make the story solid,» Trip says. «So, help me out, would you? It'll be just like in law school when we used to collaborate together all the time.»

What he means to say is: it'll be just like law school, when we were dating, so I made you do all the work for me. Only his charm has worn off now, and the only thing I'll be helping him to do is to leave my office.

«Where's your engagement ring?» he asks, doing a half-stand out of his chair to get a closer look at my hand. Which has the effect of making me immediately cover my left hand with the right.

«Oh,» I say. «That. Yes, well. It's at the cleaners. I mean, the ring cleaners. You know, the jewelers. You know what I mean. Since when are you so interested in jewelry?»

Must get the ex-boyfriend out of my office, stat!

He shakes his head and settles back into the chair. «So, were there any other complications in being an unmarried girl going to your ex-boyfriend's wedding? Anything else you haven't told me?»

«No,» I say, with a clipped tone, turning to my computer. I begin to check my e-mail, hoping that he'll think that I'm too busy to talk to him and just leave.

An e-mail pops up on my screen:

From: «Vanessa Taylor»

To: «Brooke Miller»

Subject: Do it!

Did you fess up to Trip yet???

Vanessa Taylor

Gilson, Hecht and Trattner

425 Park Avenue

11th Floor

New York, New York 10022

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That girl's timing is uncanny. I look over to Trip, sitting in my visitor's chair like a sad little puppy, his pad out, ready to jot down any words of wisdom I may spew out.

«I just feel like I'm missing something here,» Trip says, tapping his pen against the side of the pad. «What the script really needs is something to bring it all together. It needs more comedy. More of a love story.»

«How's this,» I say, throwing him a bone. «I did lose my luggage at LAX when we flew in for your wedding. I didn't have a dress to wear, so we had to spend the whole day shopping for a replacement. Use that.»

«Right on, right on,» Trip says. Even though he's originally from Connecticut, he certainly has adapted to being a left-coaster. If he says «bitchin» I'm kicking him out of my office.

«Okay, so great,» I say, standing up. «If I think of anything else, I'll call you!»

Trip stays planted in his seat.

«I'm sorry,» he says. «I don't mean to be bugging you. It's just that there is so much pressure on me to make this thing great. It just needs a little oomph. Something to make it stand out from all of those other romantic comedies out there. This means a lot to me. And to Ava.»

And just like that, I begin to soften. I was so busy trying to one-up Trip that I forgot that there are things that I actually like about him. His determination. His stick-to-it-ness. For a moment, I remember how devoted he could be to something he believed in. Which is probably what makes him such a great agent. Seeing him work so hard at something really makes me feel like I want to help.

And I could help-by telling him the truth. And it will make me a better person, someone who appreciates what she has and doesn't hold on to some ridiculous charade in order to one-up her ex. I am better than that, and I can prove it. I can be mature. I'll just tell him. Right now.

But just as I am about to tell him the truth, the thing that will make his movie truly great and prove that I am a self-confident woman who doesn't care what anyone else thinks, he says: «That's it. I just figured it out.»

«What?» I ask, curious to hear what fabulous plot point he's come up with. See, Trip was right-collaborating can be fun!

«Why you're not wearing your ring,» he says. «That's it. I've figured it out.»

«Figured what out?» I say back very quickly, suddenly squirming in my office chair. This will be so much more embarrassing if he's figured out what I've done before I get to fess up to him and maintain at least one tiny shred of dignity.

«You're pregnant!» he says, jumping up from his chair and running around my desk to give me a hug. «That's why you're not wearing your ring! I knew you looked a bit bloated today. But, you're pregnant, aren't you? Aren't you?! You can tell me.»

Note to self: Must go home immediately and burn this entire outfit. And then murder my ex-boyfriend.

«I. Am. Not. Pregnant.»

«Oh, man,» he says, arms falling down to his sides as he releases his grip on me. «Are you sure?»

«Oh, yes,» I say. «I'm sure. Not pregnant, just bloated.»

«I don't know what to say, Brooke.»

And with that, those old feelings are gone.

«Get out,» I say, and Trip finally leaves my office.

Chapter Five

“What’s great about this film is that I don’t have to lose weight for the part,” Ava says to Rachel Star of Entertainment Now . “In fact, they’re encouraging me to gain more!”

Rachel Star nods back knowingly. I can just picture the two of them out to dinner now-I can have even more edamame?! And I can actually leave the rice on my sushi rolls?! Oh, happy day!

“Now, that sounds like my kind of shoot!” Lara says and she and Ava break out in giggles.

My ex-boyfriend’s wife is on Entertainment Now to talk about the new movie she’s starring in. That my ex-boyfriend wrote. About my life. Yes, my ex-boyfriend has taken the single most humiliating moment of my life-attending his wedding-and is turning it into a major motion picture, set for release next summer.

You can catch it when it comes out on the big screen, but please just do me a favor and don’t tell me if you go.

Oh, please. As if you’re not dying to go and see it now that I’ve told you all about it.

I roll my eyes at my best friend, Vanessa. She rolls back and takes a handful of popcorn. We both rushed home from work tonight to watch Ava’s appearance together. We’re at Vanessa’s apartment in comfy sweatpants, with a huge bowl of popcorn between us and a pitcher of margaritas to help wash it down. The pain, that is. Not the popcorn. (But it works on the popcorn, too.)

“Obviously they’re not talking about you,” Vanessa says. “They probably just want Ava to look more like a real woman. Not the stick figure that she is.”

Since Vanessa is a bit of a stick figure herself, this is not exactly a compelling argument from her.

But Vanessa’s right. It’s not actually all about me, since Trip doesn’t know the whole story involved with my coming to his wedding. He thinks it’s just your normal girl-goes-to-her-ex-boyfriend’s-wedding kind of situation. Thankfully, he doesn’t know about the part where Douglas broke up with me mere minutes before the wedding, forcing me to drag my friend Jack-complete with the kilt and faux accent-in his place. I even wore a fake engagement ring to really sell it.

“Thanks,” I say to Vanessa and we both look at the television. I take a big swig of my margarita. Maybe we should have cut to the chase and just had shots of tequila before watching this?

“So,” Rachel says, putting on a serious expression, “tell us more about the film.”

“Well,” Ava says. “It’s the story of a woman who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding.”

“Wow,” Rachel says, “that sure sounds like quite a story!”

“It is, Rachel,” Ava says, leaning in to Rachel as if they’re sorority sisters or something. “It is. And lots of single women everywhere can relate to it.”

“I don’t know about that,” Rachel says with a laugh. “You couldn’t pay me enough to go to an ex’s wedding.”

“It’s going to be a funny movie,” Ava says. “I can personally guarantee lots of laughs. And maybe even a tear or two.”

“They’re going to be lining up in droves to see this movie!” Rachel says.

And she’s probably right. Why couldn’t they be making a small art house film about my life that no one would ever see? Why must it be the movie that’s slated to be the biggest blockbuster of the summer? Why, oh why, must my life be so darned interesting that a major motion picture studio has green lighted a production about it?

“Is it a concern,” Rachel says, putting a grave expression onto her face, “that people won’t think that the story is believable? I mean, what woman in her right mind would actually go to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding?”

“That’s the great thing, Rachel,” Ava says, eyes sparkling, clearly ready for this question to have been asked. “It really did happen! To my husband’s ex-girlfriend.”

“You mean to tell me that your husband’s ex-girlfriend actually came to your wedding?” Rachel says and gives the camera a look of shock. Oh, please. As if this whole interview wasn’t pre-rehearsed. Who does she think she’s kidding?

“Yes!” Ava says. “She’s actually an attorney right here in Manhattan. And she’s very nice.”

“Nice or not, I can’t believe you let one of your husband’s exes come to your wedding!” Rachel says, still doing the shocked expression thing. I mean, doesn’t Rachel have any other expressions in her arsenal? What does she do when she interviews someone who actually reveals shocking things? I guess this is why they pre-record all of their shows.

Ava nods in response. Yes, I am so wonderful that I allowed my husband’s ex to come to our wedding. I also do all sorts of other types of charity work.

“They’re making me sound like a stalker,” I say to Vanessa and she shhhes me. I finish my margarita and lean over to the pitcher to re-fill my glass.

“But,” Rachel quickly says, “it’s not as if a woman like you has to worry about any sort of competition. What man would ever choose another woman over you?”

“Oh, God,” I say, “is that what everyone’s going to be saying at the premiere? Why would he want to be with her when he could be with Ava?”

“Oh, don’t be silly, sweetie,” Vanessa says, looking at me. “We’re not going to be invited to the premiere.”

On the TV, Ava continues. “My husband, Trip, was so inspired by the story of his ex coming to the wedding that he decided that it would make a great movie.” That Ava doesn’t answer Rachel’s question and begins posturing makes me think that maybe Trip gave her a script for this interview. “She came with her gorgeous Scottish fiancé, so everything worked out in the end. It’s a story about love and friendship. And life’s special moments.”

“This is beginning to sound like a tampon commercial,” Vanessa says, taking a ladylike sip of her margarita. She’s still on her first of the night. I’m already pouring number three.

“This is so humiliating,” I say, “I can never leave my apartment again.”

“No one’s even going to see the stupid movie,” Vanessa says, “don’t be ridiculous. This whole thing will blow over in minutes.”

“Maybe the movie will be bad,” I say. “Maybe no one will see it!”

“I’m sure no one will,” she says, and clicks the television off. “And it will be forgotten before you can even say ‘straight to DVD.’”

“Really?” I ask. “You really think that?”

“Sure,” Vanessa says, filling up my margarita glass, “of course I do.”

“I guess I should be looking on the bright side,” I say, taking a handful of popcorn. “My one saving grace is that Douglas hasn’t found out. It’s bad enough that I’ve been humiliated in front of Jack. In fact, this whole thing has actually been a test of how much he truly loves me.”

“And he still wants to marry you after all this. He passed,” Vanessa says. “With flying colors.”

“True,” I say. “But if Douglas found out about this whole mess… Well, let’s just say that Douglas doesn’t have as good of a sense of humor about things. He would really torture me about this.”

“You don’t have to remind me about how awful Douglas was,” Vanessa says. “I remember.”

“Well, then, can I remind you about how wonderful Jack is?”

“Let’s just make a toast,” Vanessa says, and raises her margarita glass. “To Douglas never finding out about all of this.

“Here, here,” I say.

So, now all I need is for Douglas to never watch Entertainment Now or deign to go see a chick flick. Piece of cake, right?

Chapter Six

“Excuse me, miss, but I think I have something for you,” a handsome man says to me just as I’m about to enter my office building.

“No, I don’t think so,” I say with a smile. Normally, New Yorkers don’t talk to each other on the street, but I wouldn’t want to be rude. And it’s not just because he’s good looking-I’m not superficial like that. You see, I would speak to a stranger even if he wasn’t attractive. I just so happen to be the exception to that New York rule.

Well, okay, I wouldn’t speak to a stranger if he looked like he was deranged or something. I mean, that could be dangerous. But a stranger who was average looking? Yes, I would definitely talk to that stranger. If he was handsome and wearing a great suit and had a really really, really nice smile, well, that would just be a bonus. A big, gorgeous, well-dressed bonus. But I digress.

“I’m sure it’s for you,” he insists and I can’t help but laugh, as I continue walking into the building.

“Sorry,” I say, pushing through the big double doors of my law firm’s building, “but I’m engaged.”

How much do I love saying that?! But how typical is this? The second you’re attached, you’ve got random hotties approaching you in the street. And since you’re already involved, you can’t do a thing about it. When I was single, this sort of thing never happened to me. Life can be so unfair sometimes.

“Aren’t you Brooke Miller?” the hottie says to me as he follows me into the building. Did he just call me by my name? Um, how does he know my name?! Okay, so, now I’ve got random hotties stalking me in the street. I’m strangely conflicted about this.

“How do you know my name?” I ask, edging my way towards the security desk. In a split second, I formulate a positively brilliant plan for getting away from hottie/stalker, should things go awry. I will simply throw my briefcase at his chest and distract him momentarily so that I can run to the safety of the security guard. I don’t think that the guards are real cops or anything, but they’re still pretty darn imposing. Especially Margie Ann. That woman will put the fear of God into you with just one look. Now, if hottie/stalker actually catches my briefcase instead of getting distracted by it, my plan will be pretty much blown.

The whole plan becomes moot when he says: “Yes, I thought it was you. Brooke Miller,” he says, reaching into his briefcase. “You’ve been served.”

***

“I don’t get it,” Trip says, walking into my office unannounced (it’s like there’s just no point in actually having an assistant in the first place). “I thought that Douglas was cool with all of this. He seemed fine when I told him the other night about the movie we were making about a girl who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding. We had that great dinner all together at Pastis. But now, this.”

“You mean the movie you’re making about my life,” I said.

“No,” he says with a nervous laugh. “I thought we already established this. It’s my story about getting married and then inviting my ex-girlfriend to come to the wedding.”

“You say tomato,” I say, under my breath as I roll my eyes at Trip. Then, in my sensible lawyerly voice, without the eye roll: “I don’t get it, either. Let me give him a call and I’ll call you as soon as I hear back from him.”

Trip settles into one of my visitor chairs, clearly ready to watch as I make my phone call, which confuses me. If he thinks that I’m about to call my fiancé to ask him why he’s suing me, does he really think that I want my ex-boyfriend here to watch? Trip can be such a moron sometimes. Which reminds me…

“Trip, I thought you told me that I couldn’t sue you for making a movie out of my life?” I ask.

“Didn’t you get an A in torts?” Trip asks. “I got a C, but I still remembered that a private citizen can sue for their rights of privacy.”

“I knew you were wrong!” I said. “I just had too much wine and got confused.”

“Or maybe,” he says, “it’s just that you’re not really a better lawyer than me after all.”

I think but don’t say: “No. I still am.”

“That’s why I took you guys out to Pastis that night,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “I thought I had your consent. And Douglas’s, too.”

“I never consented to anything,” I say, my hand involuntarily flying up to my chest. “But I thought it was strange that you were hounding me to go out for dinner.”

“It was my assistant who called you,” Trip points out.

“Whatever,” I say under my breath.

“The strange thing here,” Trip says, “is that you’re a named party in this lawsuit, too. Which means that your fiancé has just served you a lawsuit.”

“I know,” I say, trying to formulate a reason why my fiancé might be suing me. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the real Douglas wasn’t actually at that dinner. It was Jack. Pretending to be Douglas. “So, why don’t you let me call him?”

“Yes,” he says, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head. “Please do.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding my head towards the door. Trip doesn’t take the hint. “Okay, so I’ll call you later after I’ve had a chance to sort all of this out.”

Trip nods enthusiastically, still not getting the hint.

“So,” I say, “you should leave now.”

“Oh, yes,” he says, “of course.”

Trip finally leaves my office and I prepare to call “Douglas.”

Instead I call Jack.

“Ohmigod! Douglas is suing me!”

“Who is this?” Jack says. I’m pretty sure I can tell that he’s smiling broadly on the other end of the line.

“Can you please be serious for a second?” I say, jumping up from my desk and closing my office door shut with my foot. “I’m being sued !”

“Well, first of all,” Jack says. “For a lawyer, you don’t react very well to conflict. Or to potential litigation. Where’s the fight in you, Brooke?”

“Jack, I am being serious here. What am I going to do? I’ve never been sued before!”

“But you’ve been involved in tons of lawsuits before. So you know that most lawsuits end up settling. He must be looking for money. How much is he suing for?”

“Two million dollars.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jack says letting out a huge sigh.

“Um, okay, not helping.”

“I can give you a really big discount on my fees if you want me to represent you,” Jack says, still smiling. Okay, I know I can’t see if he’s smiling, but I just know.

“Still not helping.”

“Well, you’re going to need a lawyer,” Jack says. “Actually, should I be billing you right now?”

“Not! Helping!”

“Okay,” he says. “Then how’s this: Let me make a few calls and try to find you a lawyer-one who’s not actually involved in this whole thing-and in the meantime, maybe you should go speak to Douglas. Maybe if you tell him what happened, he’ll drop the lawsuit.”

“You’ve met Douglas,” I say, “haven’t you? He’s not exactly the kind, understanding type.”

“Well,” Jack says, “then the other option would be to go and tell Trip the truth. That you and Douglas broke up on the eve of his wedding so you brought me instead and made me wear a kilt and speak with a Scottish accent in an effort to pretend I was Douglas. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe that would be best. If you explain it to him now, he’ll realize this whole thing was just a big misunderstanding. And ultimately, if you can get him on your side instead of Douglas’s, it’ll make Trip a lot less likely to counter-sue you for making misrepresentations to him. If you and Trip can stay aligned, you have a much better chance of fighting Douglas. Just call Trip.”

“Okay,” I say.

“Okay, you’re going to talk to Trip? That was easy.”

“What?” I ask, beginning to shut my computer down. “Oh, God, no. I’m going to go and yell at Douglas.”

Chapter Seven

“Well, this is unexpected,” my ex-boyfriend Douglas says, and he’s right. The last time we saw each other, I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn’t want to marry him and that I never wanted to see him again. So, under normal circumstances, it would be curious that I’m here.

But under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have to be here. Up until one day ago, I was one-hundred percent sure that I’d be keeping my promise-I had no intention of ever seeing Douglas again.

“How is this unexpected?” I ask through gritted teeth. “You’re suing me!” He doesn’t get up from his desk like he normally would when a lady enters a room. He stays planted behind it, using it as a shield.

The coward.

“You broke up with me and refused to talk to me,” Douglas says matter-of-factly, picking a pen up from his desk and then examining it. He’s calm, cool. Which has the effect of making me even more angry than I was when I marched in. (And, yes, you read that correctly, I didn’t walk in, I marched .)

“No, you broke up with me by getting engaged to another woman!” I say, voice rising higher and higher with each word that comes out of my mouth. “It was only after you tried to humiliate me at my ex-boyfriend’s wedding that you even wanted me back.”

“That’s not true,” he says. “That’s not true at all. I realized that you were the one and so I came to the wedding as a romantic gesture.”

“If only that were true,” I say. “After I said ‘no,’ did you get back together with Beryl?”

Yes, Douglas broke up with me and got engaged to a woman named Beryl. I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that he was cheating on me, or the fact that it was with a woman named Beryl.

“Right,” he says.

“Right,” I say back.

“Right.”

“Right,” I say, but then realize I have no idea what we’re even saying “right” to anymore. In fact, I think that he’s saying “right” to something completely different than what I’m saying “right” to. And clearly, you want your “rights” to be right. Right? “Wait? What are we even talking about here? Why are you suing me?!”

“Because you’re writing a movie about my life,” he says, hands folded neatly on top of his desk. Then, looking me dead in the eye he says: “What, you didn’t think I’d find out?”

And, no, the truth is I didn’t think he’d find out. A tiny little part of me (the very, very stupid and naive part, I’m now figuring out) thought that Trip and his wife could just make their little movie about my life quietly and no one would ever be the wiser. Not Douglas, and certainly not Trip.

But the more I think about it, I realize that this is all because of that clip on Entertainment Now . If Ava hadn’t gone on Entertainment Now to announce plans of this film, none of this would have happened! Douglas wouldn’t have found out that my ex-boyfriend was making a movie out of my life and he would never have sued me. This is all Rachel Star’s fault! Damn you, Rachel Star! Why do you have to be so damned perky and report the entertainment news so well?! That’s it-from now on, I am boycotting that show. Yes, from now on, I will only watch Inside Hollywood ! But I digress.

“I’m not doing anything. How would I write a movie and get it produced? Why would I write a movie? I’m a lawyer,” I say. “It’s Trip. My ex-boyfriend, Trip, is writing the movie as a star vehicle for his wife, Ava. Remember Trip? If you’d just come with me to his wedding last spring, none of this would have ever happened.”

“Well,” he says, “according to Entertainment Now , it seems that I did come with you.”

“About that-” I start to say, only to be cut off by Douglas.

“I knew it! Trip still doesn’t know, does he?” Douglas asks. “He actually thinks that that silly American colleague of yours is me?” Douglas throws his head back and laughs with a deep throaty thunder, as if this concept is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard.

Which is ridiculous in of itself. You see, Douglas is laughing because he thinks that Jack is no match to impersonate him-that he, himself, is so fabulous that Jack isn’t fit to shine his shoes, much less pretend to be in them. When in reality, the opposite is true. Jack is the best thing to ever happen to me. Douglas, as it turned out in the end, was the worst. And Jack was my best friend through all of it. Through the fights and the heartbreak, Jack was always there for me. I’m just lucky that after all these years, Jack and I finally ended up together.

“Jack,” I say to Douglas. “His name is Jack.”

“Well, whatever,” Douglas says, a sly smile creeping onto his lips. “I wonder what Trip will say when he finds out that Jack’s not me?”

“If you drop your lawsuit, I promise that I’ll tell Trip,” I say, and Douglas’s sly smile becomes a full-blown grin.

“Well, I was hoping to get to court at least one time to see you in one of your cute outfits,” he says.

Even though I never figured out exactly what it was that Douglas did for a living, he always found a way to diminish what I did. Cute outfits for court? I’m a big-time lawyer, for God’s sake! Sometimes being so devoted to fashion really has its drawbacks.

“I’m leaving,” I say, getting up out of my chair.

“Wait,” Douglas says. “Sit down. Are you really going to tell Trip everything?”

“Is that what you want? To humiliate me once again? Dumping me mere minutes before my ex-boyfriend’s wedding wasn’t enough for you? Now you want me to confess to my ex that I was so desperate to keep my dignity ever-so-slightly intact that I made my best friend dress up and pretend to be you?”

“Well, yes, actually,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “That’s exactly what I want.”

Hmm… Risk public humiliation at the hands of my ex-boyfriend or face a two-million dollar lawsuit? The sort of quandary single girls everywhere must face on a daily basis.

“Fine,” I say, trying to plaster a fake smile onto my face. “If I tell Trip everything and completely humiliate myself, will you then drop the lawsuit?”

“Sure, Brooke,” he says, putting his hands behind his head. “Sure I will.”

“Shake on it?” I ask, thrusting my hand out for him to shake.

“I have a better idea,” Douglas says, and pulls my hand so that my body goes flying across his desk. I fall on top of his desk and try to use my other hand to get back up. “Now, this is more like it,” he says, leaning over me. “This is what I call a negotiation.”

“You disgust me,” I say, pulling away and struggling to stand upright. I straighten my suit and spin on my heel.

“You’ll come back, Brooke,” Douglas says as I walk out of his office. “You always do.”

Chapter Eight

“Trip,” I say to my ex-boyfriend, “we need to talk.”

We’re on the set of his latest film. You know-the one that’s starring his movie-star wife and is about a woman who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding? Yes, that’s the one. The one that’s all about my life.

Long story.

“I don’t have time to talk, Brooke,” he says, ever the uber-agent to the stars. “If you haven’t noticed, we’re trying to make a movie here.”

“About that,” I say. “There’s something you need to know.”

“Oh, no,” Trip says. “Has the screenplay been leaked on the Internet?”

“No. Trip, listen to me. It’s about Douglas. Well, not Douglas, but… Okay, let me start over. Douglas-I mean, the person who you think is Douglas-isn’t Douglas. That’s why the real Douglas is suing us.”

“What are you talking about, Brooke?” Trip says, putting down his clipboard and giving me his full attention.

“Well, there was a Douglas. A Scottish guy I was living with. But we weren’t engaged when I told you we were-in fact, we were never engaged-and he broke up with me just seconds before your wedding. I didn’t know what to do. I had nowhere to live-thank goodness for Vanessa-and my life was turned upside down. You see, I thought that I had to go to your wedding with some gorgeous Scottish guy just to show you up, but now I realize that none of it really mattered.”

“But you did bring a Scottish guy to my wedding,” Trip says, furrowing his brow. “You mean to tell me that you were able to find another Scottish guy to come with you to my wedding?”

“Right,” I say, “about that. That was Jack, a friend of mine from work. He faked the accent. And the Scottish back story. And we rented the kilt. We even bought a fake engagement ring at a costume shop.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Trip says. “This has got to be a joke.”

“It’s not,” I say, wishing that it was, in fact, a joke. “I brought Jack and he pretended to be Douglas. Everything worked out in the end because Jack and I ended up getting together and now we’re engaged for real, but that’s why Douglas is suing us. All of us.”

“You’re serious about all this?” Trip says.

“Yes,” I say slowly. “And now you know everything.”

“Okay,” he says just as slowly. “But, what I don’t understand is why you did it. Why couldn’t you just tell me that you and Douglas broke up? I would have let you bring Jack to the wedding anyway if you wanted to.”

“Well, we have always had a competitive relationship,” I say.

“No, we didn’t, Brooke,” he says, grabbing my hand. “You could never really compete with me.”

“Yes, well, anyway,” I continue, releasing my hand from his grasp. “The point is, I was trying to keep my dignity ever-so-slightly intact. I felt humiliated. And I thought that if I showed up alone, I’d be even more humiliated. Do you understand?”

“Yes, of course I understand,” Trip says and throws a compassionate arm around my shoulder. “I would never want you to feel humiliated or like a loser.”

“Just humiliated,” I say. “I said I’d be humiliated. I didn’t say loser.”

“The point is,” Trip says, “you know I love you, Brooke, and I would never do anything to embarrass you or hurt you.”

“Really?” I say. “That’s so sweet of you.”

“Really, Brooke.”

“That’s great to hear,” I say. “So, then the movie’s off?”

“Oh, hell no,” Trip says and my mouth drops to the ground. “Are you kidding me? I finally have my hook. We’re going to make this thing a hilarious romantic comedy. I’m going to have my people put a call into Sandler.”

“What?”

“Adam Sandler in a kilt,” Trip says. “Non-stop hilarity!”

“You’re still making the movie?” I say. “After everything you just said?”

“Of course I am, Brooke.”

“But what about not humiliating me?” I ask. “About never doing anything to hurt me?”

“Well, Brooke,” Trip says, furrowing his brow as if he’s on an after-school special and is about to tell me the lesson I should have learned. “My grandfather always said that the only person who can embarrass you is you.”

“Your grandfather was wrong.”

“Now that I know everything,” Trip explains, “the movie finally has what it needs! So, it doesn’t even matter that there’s a massive lawsuit against us. It’s okay, because now I have a killer plot. And since this thing is going to be a huge blockbuster, the production company’s lawyers will even represent you, since you gave us all of this great material.”

The lawsuit. I’d totally forgotten. In addition to the fact that I’ve been totally humiliated, there’s also a two-million dollar lawsuit hanging over my head.

I walk away from Trip and call Douglas from my cell phone.

“I told him,” I say in the place of “hello.”

“I told Trip everything, so now you can call off the lawsuit, just like you promised.”

“You finally came clean?” Douglas asks. “Well, fuck me, I didn’t think you had the backbone to do it.”

“Well, I did,” I say. “So, now it’s time for you to hold up your end of the bargain and call off your lawsuit. I want it called off against Trip, the movie studio, and me. Just drop the whole thing.”

“Well, darling,” he says, “it’s not really that simple.”

“Yes, Douglas, it is. You simply call your lawyers and tell them to drop it. Then they simply call the judge and it’s over. Simple.”

“Well, I’m not going to drop it,” he says.

“What do you mean?” I ask. “You promised.”

“Well, I’ve had a change of heart,” he says. “The suit stays on.”

“Then, I’ll sue you for breach of contract,” I say. “You made me an oral promise. I then acted in reasonable reliance on that promise and did something that I wouldn’t do otherwise. That makes what you promised me a legally binding contract.”

See, I told you I was a good lawyer.

“Save the legal mumbo jumbo, Brooke,” Douglas says. “I really couldn’t care less. And, anyway, I’m sure Trip will be delighted that the lawsuit’s still on. After all, it will be great publicity for the film.”

I hang up the phone without saying goodbye and run over to the hair and make-up trailer to go find Jack and Vanessa.

Walking through a film set is a surreal experience. And it’s not just because they have a mock-up of a New York City street right next to a mock-up of an elegant Los Angeles hotel. It’s because this film set is my life. Right across from the hotel, they’ve got my old office at Gilson, Hecht and Trattner (which is accurate down to the little stress ball that was always perched at the edge of my desk), and the SoHo apartment I used to share with Douglas. I’m sure that by tomorrow, they’ll be constructing a set of Vanessa’s Upper East Side apartment now that Trip knows the truth about what happened between Douglas and me, and how I had to move in with Vanessa after he kicked me out of our apartment. How different my life is now.

I walk through the wardrobe department and see that they have a vintage Halston dress, one that’s exactly like the one that I wore to Trip and Ava’s wedding, just waiting to be worn. They also have a wedding dress for the actress who will be playing the bride. I walk over to the dress to get a closer look. It looks nothing like the actual dress that Ava wore to her wedding, but it’s beautiful all the same. The bodice has intricate double embroidered lace, covered in little pearls and tiny crystals. As I reach out to touch it, Vanessa calls out my name.

“We’re going to find you a wedding dress that will be even more beautiful than this,” Vanessa says.

And I know we will-Vanessa and my mom are taking me dress shopping next week and I can hardly wait.

“Trip is still making the movie,” I say, “and Douglas isn’t dropping the lawsuit like he promised.”

“Oh, who cares? Let Trip make his stupid movie and let Douglas have his stupid lawsuit. Your life will go on,” she says.

And I actually believe her. For the first time since this mess began, I realize my life has nothing to do with this movie or the lawsuit. My life is about the people who love and support me most. The people who think that I’m fabulous no matter what. The people I feel the same way about.

Vanessa motions to the hair and make-up trailer. “Let’s go.”

“Hey,” Jack says, as he sits in a director’s chair, getting make-up airbrushed onto his face. Yes, after all he’s been through, I managed to wrangle him a little cameo in the movie. He’s playing Wedding Guest Number Five and I must say, he’s looking rather dashing today in his tuxedo. The one bright spot in the fact that Trip’s still making the movie.

“Hey yourself,” I say, as Jack leans in for a kiss.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box. “I think you forgot something.”

I open the box and see that Jack’s brought me my engagement ring. Not the fake one I wore to Trip’s wedding, but the real one. The ring that his grandfather gave to his grandmother when he came back from World War II.

An ascher-cut diamond with regal trillions flanking it on either side and channel-set diamonds around the rest of the platinum band. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my whole life. I slip my ring back onto my finger. Where it belongs. And as I do, I realize that I shouldn’t have taken it off in the first place. And I never will again.

“Are you sure that you want to marry a girl who’s going to be publicly humiliated next summer when Scot On The Rocks hits a theater near you?” I ask Jack.

He smiles back at me. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

THE END

Content

Brenda Janowitz
Based On A True Story

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight