Minda Webber

Lucy and the Crypt Casanova

To: Chris Keeslar,

a wonderful editor whose

humor adds greatly to the

story. Thanks for helping

me reach my potential.

Acknowledgments

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the top of it Romantic Times BOOKreviews. I was so pleased to win Best Historical Vampire Novel of 2005 for The Remarkable Miss Frankenstein. And to Carol Carrol for being a true family friend.

Chapter One

Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind

"It was horrible, just horrible. You can't imagine the terror of it! Nobody should have to go through this, you know?" The black-haired girl cried out dramatically, and the lenses of the television cameras homed in on her big hazel eyes. She had an expressive elfin face; this was the main reason why she had been chosen to do the talk show instead of the four other abductees: her look of utter sincerity.

In the background, portions of the Twilight Zone talk show set stood out in stark relief. Strands of green ivy and lacelike cobwebs hung from the antique bookshelves. The shelves were full of marbleized skulls, gris-gris charms, and carved coffins hewn from a range of materials from wood to jade.

"Ya know, they had these really big black eyes staring at me. And they smelled, too!" the girl remarked adamantly.

Lucy Campbell, Twilight Zone host, nodded once. She was a West Texas girl who had sort of made it good. She was in the limelight—even if that limelight was rather peculiar, much like the guests on her show.

"What did they smell like?" she asked, wanting her guest, Carol Carroll, to reveal more of the strange encounter.

"Like really bad body odor, for sure," Carol replied. "And maybe some kind of dead fish thing."

Again Lucy nodded, commiserating with her guest. "And how long were you held captive?"

"Three days! Three horrible days filled with golden gooses and fee, fi, fo, fumming. And talk of blood!" Carol Carroll added, horror evident in her voice. "I was poked and prodded and fed golden eggs."

Lucy held back a grimace, thinking her guest sounded like she'd been held captive by a great big Easter bunny with a penchant for metallic spray paint, rather than an American Desert Ogre.

"Yes, it must have been quite an ordeal," she said neutrally, trying to keep an open mind. Personally she didn't know if she believed the girl, but there had been more than a few humans laying claim to having been abducted by American Desert Ogres in the last six years.

Searching Carol Caroll's hazel eyes for the truth, Lucy recalled her mom's sage advice: Where there's smoke, there's fire. So Lucy reasoned that where there were beanstalks, there might be ogres. In today's strange new world, anything was possible.

Thirteen years ago, monsters and all manner of supernatural creatures had come out of the closet—or rather, cellars and crypts. It had been the media event of the twenty-first century; probably of all centuries. At first there had been many skeptics, but one man changing into a werewolf and another guy drinking blood from a third guy's neck on News 10 could quickly make believers out of even the most devout skeptics. Suddenly the unexpected and unbelievable were real. The American public and the world were expected to accept the impossible.

Almost overnight there were new legislation, new laws, and new attitudes on this startling and scary revelation. It had become a mad, mad, mad world; the whole world turned upside down. But American capitalists, always quick to profit, decided to make the best of the bloody business, and marketing departments everywhere began hawking Monster Madness, Monster Mania, and so forth. In short, monsters were marvelous.

Within three years, a bewildered and bemused America had bought into the whole supernatural scene. And it was still going strong. People were corpse crazy, werewolf wild, ghost giddy—and witch and warlock woozy.

The most recent fad, which had already lasted more than ten years, was a fang frenzy. Life was a veritable Fangtasia, because everyone wanted in on the act—especially dentists, who were making a legitimate killing with the whole big teeth thing. You could get insincere fangs, sincere fangs, fake fangs, and fangs for the memories. Fangs that were eye-blindingly white, and fangs that were ebony black. And some people wore the two in combination, for a piano key effect. You could get newfangled fangs with intricate engravings, or bejeweled and bedecked biters. Small fangs and big fangs, monstrous fangs in snarling or howling mouths, all were displayed in every advertising campaign in America. Yes, wherever a person went, she was almost guaranteed to be flashed by fangs. Of course, fang flashing with intent was now a felony.

Along with the radically changing mix of human and non-human culture, other new opportunities had presented themselves, spawning a whole new category of television. There were supernatural talk shows like Dr. Spook, the premier spectral authority on adolescent ghosts, and Haunted Home Improvement hosted by T. Taylor Andrews. Comedy shows had sprung up for the walking dead, such as Saturday Night Unlive, and The Tonight Show hosted by Blade, a vampire with a razor-sharp wit. Not to be outdone, the shape-shifting community had developed the game show Jeopardy 2, where humans hid and ran from werewolves, werelions, and werebears (which were not cute and cuddly like teddy bears, if you were thinking they might be). In the last year, a program called Supernatural Survivor had garnered top ratings. The show was reality-based, and participants needed to survive nights in haunted houses, or in cemeteries while being chased by ghosts or ghouls.

New industries provided new job opportunities, which was great for people like Lucy. She had been in debt not only from finishing college, but also from paying her mother's medical bills. So, when opportunity knocked in the form of a talk show—even if it was really out there—Lucy had answered. She knew she might be sacrificing a bit of her journalistic integrity, but a job was a job; she'd decided to enter the Twilight Zone. And so Lucy had packed her bags and gone to New Orleans, which was now the major hub of supernatural activity. The city's new motto: "We'll raise your spirits."

But her talk show had turned out to deal with sensational and silly subjects of the supernatural realm. At first Lucy had hoped that she could guide the program into more serious topics, but since the Twilight Zone had been talk show sensationalism at its best before she replaced the last host, the producers demanded to continue in the same vein. No respectable or self-respecting monster would be caught on her show, dead or undead, so two years later found Lucy's professional reputation shredded by the sometimes-ludicrous stories she was forced to do in hopes of almighty ratings.

Like right now. Lucy silently sighed and turned her attention back to her guest.

"For sure, I'll never forget his big black eyes and that creepy goose he was holding. And that harp music."

"I've heard that ogres like harps," Lucy commented, a polite smile on her face. Harp music was synonymous with ogres. Lucy had done some research, and had learned that ogres were enthralled with the sound—or so every other abductee had said.

"I hate the harp, and that's all I heard night and day—that damn music! It was like being stuck in an elevator forever. Man, it was a bad scene."

When Lucy cocked a brow, the girl added, "You know, that horrible chamber music? I prefer Zydeco and hard rock, not some classical crap my ancestors listened to because they had nothing else."

"Of course," Lucy said.

"That harp music made me, like, bonky—along with all that yucky chanting."

"Chanting?" Lucy asked politely. The assistant producer of the show held up his fingers, indicating she had less than two minutes to close. Thank God.

"You know, the fee, the fi, and the blood-smelling stuff."

"Ah yes, the fee, the fi and the foing." Lucy nodded kindly. Was it really possible, or had Carol Carroll simply watched too many reruns of The X-Files?

"And did I tell you that overgrown ogre dropped beans on my head?" Carol Caroll asked, her eyes wide. "Beans! Over and over. That doesn't sound like much, but let beans get dropped on your head when you're trying to sleep!"

Lucy patted the girl's hand. "I imagine it's like Chinese water torture." But when the black-haired, tattoo-faced abductee looked blank, she added, "Never mind."

She wondered what the students of today were being taught: Spells in Sixty Minutes? Which witch is which? Where was all the classical Cold War history stuff? Lucy supposed that the Red Scare was now seen as the possibility of being sucked dry in the dark by a hungry vampire.

Giving a nod to her young guest, Lucy turned to smile into the camera. "Well, that's all for tonight. I want to thank our guest, Carol Carroll, for coming on and revealing her ordeal at the hands of her ogre abductors."

On cue, the audience applauded. The camera zoomed in, focusing entirely on Lucy Campbell, capturing her all-American good looks—blond, blue-eyed, and classically beautiful.

"Be sure to tune in to tomorrow's show: 'Voodoo priests who have fallen in love with their dolls,'" she continued, secretly cringing at the subject. How had she fallen so low? She wanted to do serious subjects, with prominent paranormal guests.

If only she could get real-life werewolves or vampires on the Twilight Zone, instead of wannabe bloodsuckers and men with hair-growth problems. Not to mention the less respectable witches and warlocks she'd booked, lesser shapeshifers, and the occasional troll or goblin. She had once almost gotten a demon to be a guest, but his price for appearing had been her soul. Lucy had quickly and quite firmly declined his offer and gotten herself out of the hot seat.

If only she could get a good guest, or break a good story. If only.

Chapter Two

The Lucy Show

The elevator opened on the seventh floor, where the office of the owner of WPBS—the Paranormal Broadcasting Station—was located. Lucy walked across the plush gray carpet and announced herself to Mr. Moody's secretary. "The boss wanted to see me?" she asked the plump matron.

The secretary nodded, then added in a low, warning voice, "He's on the warpath."

Lucy thanked her; then, steeling herself for the meeting, she walked inside, wondering what burr had gotten stuck under the man's saddle now.

Glancing toward Moody's massive mahogany desk, she noted that the old crab was on the phone. Short, gruff, and about twenty pounds overweight, in broadcasting he was a force with which to be reckoned.

Mr. Moody hung up the phone and took in what Lucy was wearing, a cornflower-blue dress with a low-cut back and beaded bodice. "You must have a hot date planned tonight," he remarked.

Lucy shrugged. Her date was a first date, and she suspected it would be anything but hot. The man in question was handsome, but in a spoiled good looks kind of way. She wasn't sure why she'd agreed to the date.

She fought back annoyance at Moody's comment. What bad luck that he'd noticed. Usually she didn't date after her show, which was on weekdays and started at 9:00 p.m., an hour before primetime. Since the supernatural world had barged into the mortal world with much more bite than bark, most nations had revamped their workdays. The average shift now started at 11:00 a.m. and finished at 8:00 p.m., and many stores stayed open all night. This enabled paranormal clients and customers to shop 'til they dropped—unless they got home before sunrise.

"Is he a paranormal?" her boss asked curiously.

Lucy knew her personal life was just that, but what could she do? This was the boss, even if he was a nosy busybody who liked to point his pug nose into everything.

"No," she said.

Moody looked put out. "Damn! You need to make some better connections. You'd better start poking around in some coffins and loup garou dens."

Lucy frowned. She wasn't the type to sleep her way to the top, especially in coffins. Not after her past. Deciding not to reply, she sat down in a green plaid chair as Mr. Moody pointed his finger at her.

"I'm not happy with the cost of your show, Lucy Campbell. No, missy, I am not," he warned, his thick brows drawn together in a frown.

Lucy rolled her eyes. Her boss's name fit him like a perfectly tailored suit. He was cantankerous, contrary, cheap—and alternately creative and charming. One night he was as high as a kite, and other nights he was channeling Satan.

"So, I'm in the soup again, am I?" she said.

"I had to replace our specialty chair and the coffee table this week alone," he growled with firm displeasure. "And the show was a flop."

This was definitely one of his moody nights. Lucy grimaced as she recalled the Great Appalachian Troll. Over seven feet tall and massively built, the creature had flopped down hard on the specially made chair designed for guests who weighed more than three but less than five hundred pounds. There had been a loud creaking noise, and then suddenly both chair and troll had collapsed. Naturally the troll—never the calmest of species in the best of circumstances—had gotten angry and had smashed the matching coffee table as well, scattering cups and food everywhere. The guests had shouted and cheered, but Lucy had been left with coffee and egg on her face. And now this bill. Dang! Moody would bring up the troll episode.

"Who knew that Appalachian Trolls weighed over five hundred pounds?" she asked, her eyes wide with innocent indignation.

"Perhaps if you had researched a bit more about this particular guest?" Mr. Moody retorted.

"I did! But the troll must have been embarrassed about her weight and lied. She was a female troll, after all. And I apologized until I was blue in the face, but she was still surly. We also didn't have another chair sturdy enough to accommodate her, so she had to stand through the rest of the interview. I guess I have to admit the whole show went downhill from there."

Scowling, Mr. Moody made a face that made his thick brushy brows meet in the middle of his forehead, the look clearly saying the troll mess was all her fault. Dang, she had seen that look before. And so Lucy added, "I did stand up with her so she wouldn't feel out of place."

"You know she'll tell all her troll buddies about us. We'll probably never get another troll on our show again—at least, not on this side of the Appalachians!"

That would be a loss, Lucy thought snidely. No more egg on her face? But she said, "I'm sorry. Accidents do happen."

"You can say that again. You're accident-prone, Lucy. I tell you, accident-prone."

Lucy kept a straight face, neither accepting nor denying the statement. Just because she had been bitten by gremlins, slimed by ghosts, and cursed by warlocks, that didn't mean she was any unluckier than other people were. Other people just didn't spend their nights with the Amityville horror or wacked-out witches. Of course, there was one encounter in the past that made her feel unlucky. A vampire. One who…

She tore her thoughts away from that as Moody said, "I don't spend half as much money on my other shows as I do on yours. Why, Creature Comforts hardly costs a dime."

"Why should it?" Lucy snapped. "All your host has to do is walk around stylish homes of rich and famous monsters." Having seen mausoleums of some famous undead, Lucy personally thought it was a dream job—for a mortician.

Mr. Moody continued, ignoring her. "Besides the large antebellum ballroom, I hardly incur any expenses for Monster Mash."

"What kind of expenses would you incur on a show where everyone is dancing? Maybe a few broken high heels? A lost sense of rhythm? All Ginger your ghost host has to do is announce the odd couples."

"They still don't cost much to produce," Moody grumbled.

Holding up a hand, Lucy defended herself staunchly—and with the few words that would most count. "I have the highest ratings of all the shows you produce."

Mr. Moody slammed down a bill from Billy's Barbecue on his desk. Giving her a black look, he asked, "Well, what the hell is this? Three hundred dollars for a single meal?"

"That was lunch, of course," Lucy explained patiently. The man could be an unreasonable monster at times, worse than a vampire trying to squeeze blood from turnips. But one had to be stupid to get in his way when he got on the warpath. "A five-hundred-pound Appalachian Troll has a mighty big appetite. Heck, when we were done, she ordered a whole goat to go."

Moody looked up at the ceiling as if the answer to his dilemma were written there. "Lucy, your show costs twice what my other shows cost. And may I remind you that I am paying you an exorbitant salary? Do I need to remind you that I gave you this job even though your only credits beforehand were merely some work in a small-town television station in Texas where you were the weather girl?"

Exorbitant salary, her aunt Fanny! Although Mr. Moody was paying her more per week than her job in Round Rock as a weather girl had, she would never be wearing Prada at this rate.

"I was a great weather girl," she argued. "That station loved me." Lucy had been slowly moving up in the ranks. "I also got to do the television news for two weeks when our anchorman got bitten by a ghoul. The ratings went up for those two weeks too."

"Only because you fell out of your chair twice. Hell, you weren't even drinking."

Lucy glared at him, mortified. "That could have happened to anybody. I was nervous, and miscalculated when I sat down."

Mr. Moody only shook his head. "That should have warned me."

"Besides, I was still upset about my mother's accident," Lucy continued. Ten months after she'd gotten the job, a grizzly werebear driver had hit her mother with his van. Fortunately her mother had lived to tell the tale, but unfortunately she didn't have any insurance. The medical costs were huge, and since the werebear had also been seriously hurt, her mother had been fined for harming an endangered species.

Staring hard at her, Moody conceded gruffly, "You were doing an okay job at that podunk station, but being a weather girl is not hosting your very own show. Think what you can accomplish here if you cut back expenses. You are doing important work, showcasing the supernatural!"

And she was killing all hope of any progress or of the more elite of the professional paranormal world to appear as her guests if the show didn't focus on more serious—or at least believable—issues. Well, as believable as any issue could be in a world where people could turn into bats or chomp your leg off if they got hungry on the night of a full moon and all the local takeout restaurants were closed.

"My fans love me," she said. For a long time, she had wanted to be famous and respected like Oprah or Ellen. Now she was. And while those two women didn't have fans who wore black lipstick and stuck pins in dolls, fans were fans, and those fans provided almighty ratings. That was something.

It was funny. Lucy had always had something to prove to the world and to herself. Middle school had been a nightmare. She had been short, fat, and in eighth grade her skin had broken out. It was also in eighth grade that she'd learned what fear was—and that people were a lot like animals.

Chicks would peck and peck the runt of a litter, until they pecked it to death. The popular crowd had done the same to Lucy. She had been tormented and made fun of not once or twice, but daily for the whole of her eighth-grade year. Lunchtime had loomed, a hulking, menacing presence to be endured on a day-to-day basis, and Lucy had hid in the girls' restroom, hoping no one would find her. That had saved her from death by peckers.

In high school she had fortunately blossomed, losing her baby fat while her skin cleared up into a peaches-and-cream complexion. The ugly duckling became a pretty girl with an infectious laugh, and she had been head cheerleader, most popular girl, and most beautiful. But the earlier scars remained, and they influenced her life to this day. She had a driving ambition, a deep-seated need to be successful and famous; famous enough to show those hometown girls that she'd always been worth knowing and always would be—something they had been too superficial and self-involved to notice.

"Fans. Well," Mr. Moody said, hating to concede anything good about his most expensive employee. "You do seem to have a following. That's why you're still working, in spite of the exorbitant costs you incur."

"I'm always signing autographs," Lucy added, stretching the truth a bit. She had signed autographs now and again, but most people who came up to her told her how funny they found her show. If her show was a situation comedy she would have been a bit more flattered.

"Well, maybe you are. But if they knew the high costs that you run up…" Moody trailed off, mentally calculating the accidents, the destruction of property, the raise he was probably not going to give her this year…

"There was that Monty's python show. That was hard to swallow," he recalled grumpily. "I had to pay a fortune for that Harry Wizard fellow's warty, potbellied pig. He went potty! His grief counseling sessions—what hogwash!"

"I did try to keep that python from eating his pig."

"It was a disaster. In fact, I don't think I can ever look at bacon the same way," Mr. Moody went on, staring at Lucy. Shaking his head, he said, "Still, you do seem to have that loyal following. Despite the sliming and the leaf sprouting."

Lucy groaned silently. He wasn't going to bring this up now, was he? She recalled well enough the time when an enraged Druid warlock had put a curse on her, causing tiny leaves to sprout from her scalp. She had been doing the show for a little over six months, and had been wearing new high heels with wooden spikes—all the rage with the female vampire hunters on her show that day. Unfortunately, the spiked wooden heel had broken, and Lucy had fallen into the lap of the Druid warlock, Monsieur Chestnuts, causing her to squash monsieur's chestnuts along with his warlocky wand.

Mr. Moody rubbed his hands together gleefully, remarking, "The ratings shot up by six points. We should do that again."

"I… don't think so." Lucy declined with great conviction. It had taken her two days and numerous phone calls to find a hair-dressing hedge trimmer who could deal with the leaves until she found a witch to lift the Druid's curse.

Glancing at her watch, she remarked, "Is that all? My date is waiting."

"All right, all right," Mr. Moody said. He watched her stand, his face craftily thoughtful. "But you do know Tuesday's show is dealing with witches and warlocks?"

"Yes," she replied. To be honest, she was a tiny bit uneasy. "The two covens have promised to behave themselves. We got their John Hancock on the agreement. No bespelling, no curses. None. Nada." And there'd be no wooden-spike-heel shoes for her, either.

Escaping Moody's office, she rode down in the elevator with her head leaned against the wall. She was tired and wondering how her date was going to go with Desmond. Maybe she would be pleasantly surprised and have a really good time—or at least an okay time. The way her dates had been going lately, she would settle for harmless.

And she didn't want to think about that vampire from her past…

Chapter Three

Close Encounters of the Cheating Ex Kind

There was no way that Lucy could have known what little trick fate had in store for her that night.

I should have just gone home after my meeting with Mr. Moody, she thought in irritation. Why had she agreed to the stupid rendezvous with Desmond Tribideux? Maybe because she was lonely, and perhaps she really had wanted to see the art gallery's new exhibits. The show on The Art of Paranormal was supposedly excellent.

Lucy narrowed her eyes at her date, thinking that next time she was lonely she would stay at home with a good book and a glass of wine. Women, she mused thoughtfully, were such suckers. They had an intense need to connect, which meant they were constantly setting themselves up for disappointment, even when instincts warned them to beware. And Lucy had more reason than most to be unhappy with her lacking love life. She had been reminded of it this very evening. Once, she had been loved and cherished by the very best. How could anyone else ever compare?

Shaking her head slightly, she decided ruefully that some southern nights the only things worthwhile were old dogs, children, and dandelion wine.

"This painting reveals man's need to dominate and control his woman," Desmond remarked, winking at her.

Looking at the painting, which held shapes vaguely resembling human ones, also with a pair of large red eyes and a long black chain, Lucy smiled vaguely. "Really?" Actually, the painting's eyes seemed to follow her movements, making her uncomfortable.

Desmond seemed put out. "Come now, Lucy. I should think you would know a bit more about art than this," he remarked, his eyes dancing upon the cleavage revealed by her short blue beaded dress. The garment had been a definite mistake, Lucy thought regretfully. I should have worn a turtleneck sweater—a baggy turtleneck sweater. Except it was too hot in New Orleans for heavy-duty date camouflage like that.

"I'm not really into more abstract art," she protested politely. Desmond was ruining the art exhibition for her, just as he had ruined dinner with his prosing about the wine, his work, and his rudeness to the waiter. Not to mention the amount of touching he'd done all during dinner and their walk to the art gallery in the French Quarter.

Smiling suggestively, he motioned to another abstract painting. "I see my work is cut out for me. I'll be happy to tutor you in abstract art—and in anything else, for that matter. I'm quite an expert," he announced pompously, a leer on his face, "in pretty much everything."

You're an expert sleazy troll, she decided, brushing his hand off her bottom for the seventh time. Her date, this human octopus, had more moves than Chuck Norris. She was almost considering inviting him on her show as a guest freak. "Oh, I wouldn't impose. I've always thought ignorance is bliss."

But her stratagem didn't work. Ignoring her words, he began explaining the next painting, which was a series of bright blue circles with dark golden slashes and a faint distorted humanlike figure. "This painting represents woman's wish to be dominated by her passions and by her master. The woman's longings are evident in the work. She can hardly wait for the forceful thrust of his—"

Lucy interrupted. "I see." Her date had sex on the brain, there was no question. She needed to put the kibosh on that.

"The woman is in need—extreme need," Desmond continued. "Note the powerful brushstrokes around her thighs."

Lucy let his words flow around her and disappear. But he continued to talk, no doubt in love with the sound of his own voice.

Chalk up another dud evening and another date from hell. Again, she wondered why she even bothered. Four years of being constantly assaulted with unwanted sexual passes, listening to men moan about their work, their ex-wives or girlfriends was getting to be much too much. And the men believed that after two or three dates she would be happy to hop into a bed with them, because this was dating etiquette for the twenty-first century!

Although she wasn't a virgin, not at the age of twenty-eight, she certainly wasn't easy, being a two-fingered-hand kind of woman. Meaning she could count her lovers on one hand—holding up only two fingers.

No, she didn't want to sleep with someone on a schedule, nor did she want instant sexual gratification. She wanted to love, or at least to feel deeply about her sex partner. She didn't want to sleep with someone she couldn't trust or respect, and therein lay the problem.

Supposedly time healed all wounds. But not, of course, if they were made by a vampire. After four long, cold, bitter years, the ghost of a memory was still tormenting her. Five years before and to her eternal sorrow, Lucy had fallen deeply in love with an amoral immortal. She had been working on her last sixteen hours of graduate study in broadcast communication when she'd met Valmont Frances Pierre DuPonte. He had come to San Antonio, where Lucy was attending the University of Texas.

Val had been born in a time when women were put on a pedestal—before women had all jumped off like sky divers with no parachutes. He had been born when kings and queens ruled, and he had been a French count. When being a count counted for something.

Valmont now was a law enforcement officer, and he had come to San Antonio to teach the police force some newer methods in restraining and incapacitating dangerous preternatural predators. One night, the vampire had gone to the Riverwalk to drink in the view—and probably from a willing pretty neck or two in the shadowy alcoves of the riverbank—when he had met Lucy.

He had immediately knocked her off her feet—quite literally, since she had bumped into him and fallen into the river. But love was moving in the shadows that night, and romance had bloomed in the dark. Twenty minutes later they were having drinks in a pub that catered to vampires and other supernatural creatures, and Lucy had stared into the vampire's deep blue gaze and realized that this amazing male was going to be someone very special to her. She had wanted to waltz across Texas with him in her arms, never letting go. Fortunately, Val felt the same way, because he had begun courting her in an Old World fashion. Lucy had found it both delightful and unsurprising; he was over 360 years old.

She'd thought it would last. When his lectures at the police academy ended three months later, they had conducted a passionate long-distance love affair. For eight months Lucy had felt more alive than ever before, and all because of a man undead. She had begun planning weddings and her happily-ever-after—which was very possible with a vampire for a husband. Unfortunately, Lucy had decided to visit Val one weekday, and had flown in to surprise him in New Orleans only to discover that her true love was in reality a liar. She had found him with another female vampire, his fangs in her neck, the two-fanged four-flusher! Which proved another thing her mother always said: "Once a bloodsucker, always a bloodsucker."

She had called him every name in the book and then some. She had never really loved before Val, and at his loss, she was stripped to the bone, with nothing left for a long, long time. No, Lucy had never forgiven Val. Nor had she forgotten him.

"Lucy, pay attention! I feel as if I'm talking to the wall."

Drawing herself out of her bleak thoughts, Lucy focused back upon Desmond. He continued: "As I was saying, this painting here depicts fierce raging desires and man's responsibility to have sexual conquest wherever he can."

Why Desmond—who was an insurance administrator for necromancers and wizards—thought he knew beans about art was beyond Lucy's comprehension. Cocking a brow, she glanced at her date and then at the painting in question. At least she recognized the subjects. The painting was of a kitchen table with a giant swordfish lying across it, and a swath of white was a female form lying beside the swordfish. A bigger swath of a brown male stood next to the table, with an enormous purple penis.

"Can you feel the power radiating from it?" Desmond asked, staring at her, a look of what could only be called horniness on his handsome features.

"I can certainly feel something," Lucy muttered.

And it was true; suddenly the back of her neck was tingling. She felt like someone was staring hard at her, possibly someone she knew or had interviewed on her show. Everyone and their dog was here tonight at the gallery opening.

Turning around abruptly, she almost bumped into a drop-dead gorgeous female vampire dressed in a slinky red number. The vampiress had a cool narrow white face with fat red lips the color of ripe pomegranates, and was sporting a choker with a diamond the size of the Rock of Gibraltar.

"Pardon me for being so clumsy," Lucy apologized, then caught her breath as she glanced over to see the vampiress's escort. Speaking of dogs! Or rather, undead monsters, Lucy corrected in stunned recognition.

The moment seemed frozen in time, with the past interceding into the present, everything blending together in shades of betrayal, pain, and the ever-present hope of lost love becoming found again. Lucy felt a sense of dislocation, as if she were underwater where everything was slow and wavy, for she stared at Valmont DuPonte, now the detective superintendent of the Supernatural Task Force for New Orleans.

The vampiress smiled slightly, her smile widening as she took in Desmond. Lucy's date might be a tad conceited, a tad kinky, a tab obnoxious, but he was handsome. Lucy sighed.

Val, on the other hand, wasn't smiling—although he too looked wonderful in his black jacket and black jeans. He was still going for the austere look, Lucy mused, her long-suffering eyes drinking him in.

His dark black hair was pulled back in a ponytail that hung to slightly below his broad shoulders. His dark blue eyes were staring down at her from his wonderful height of six feet three—eyes that always had reminded her of the icy North Atlantic.

He looked great in those tight jeans. He had a good seat for riding, and rode hard and hot for somebody that wasn't a cowboy. Dang him! He just oozed sex appeal, and Lucy couldn't help thinking cattily that his date looked like she'd been around the block a few times—on her back.

"Lucy Campbell," Val remarked casually.

Lucy inclined her head, trying to regain her breath.

Her body was heating up, her legs slightly shaky and her stomach doing somersaults. "Val."

What should she say next? She needed mundane words for this extraordinary situation. Finally she managed, "Long time no see." Four years, two months, and a week to be exact, with the exception of the times she had seen him featured on some news story about an exceptionally hard capture, like that charmingly lucky leprechaun who'd turned out to be a serial killer.

"Has it?" Val commented dryly.

Lucy fumed. Four years, two months, and one week might not seem like a long time to Mr. Immortal, but to her human mind it sure as heck was.

"Cherie, you must introduce me to your little friend," Val's Bourbon Street vamp said.

Lucy fumed harder. Little? She might only be five feet four, but it wasn't like she was one of the seven dwarves.

"Certainly, ma jolie fille," Val remarked. He placed an arm around his date's svelte waist. "Beverly Perrogeut, this is Lucy Campbell, an old…" Here, Val seemed to hesitate. "An old acquaintance of mine."

Even though he made her sound like an old shoe, Lucy held her smile firmly in place—likely resembling a deer frozen by headlights. Why couldn't she be nonchalant like Val was being? Well, she supposed she didn't have three-plus centuries of practice with meeting ex-lovers.

Her heart cried out with every cell of her body that had once known Val's body intimately. Once, he had cherished her like she was made of rare stone. They had been both lovers and friends. Now she was relegated to a position of "old acquaintance," which hurt.

Tearing her eyes away from Val's, she heard Desmond introduce himself to the vampiress. She in turn introduced Val.

"Have you been dating long?" Val asked, speaking to Desmond. He kept his expression deadpan, which was actually quite easy for a vampire like himself. Poor deluded male, he thought. Lucy was a hardheaded and hard-hearted female. She was also impossible and immature, with her idiotic twenty-first-century lack of understanding of what exactly honor meant to a man, and most especially to an Old World vampire.

"Tonight is our first date," Desmond confided; then he leered at Lucy and pulled her closer. "But we are becoming acquainted very quickly."

In your dreams, buster, Lucy thought with irritation. Wanting to shove the jackass away, she instead resisted the impulse, hoping to spark a little jealousy in the old ex-boyfriend. Her mama had always said: "A skinny worm might be worthless to a cat, but if you're trying to catch a bird, watch out." And she recalled as well her grandma's sage advice for every situation: "Remember the Alamo."

Val kept his expression relaxed as he watched Lucy let Desmond hold her hand. The man was a randy goat with absolutely no savoir faire whatsoever. Even now, the idiot was trying to flirt with both women while also trying to stare down Lucy's dress—a dress that was too revealing for public viewing, low-cut and short, showing those muscular slim legs that had been made so remarkable by years of horseback riding. He fought back irritation.

Beverly flashed a very toothy smile at the human male, then looked the painting over. She loved competition, though she viewed no mortal as much of a serious challenge. She said, "I see this painting is done by Salvador. From his earliest period."

"I was just telling Lucy its very sexual implications. Such passion in the work. Look at the brushstrokes! Such primal desire. Such a forceful presence is the man. And the woman's face is remarkable—a true study in sex-slave ecstasy," Desmond explained with his slight hauteur.

Such a big purple prick, Lucy thought sardonically. Looking at the painting, her date and her ex-lover, she amended: pricks.

"Lucy didn't seem to properly appreciate the painting," Desmond remarked. "But with her beautiful face and body to match, I can tolerate that she's not knowledgeable about the art world. A man can't have everything, you know."

Wanting to slam his nose into the painting, Lucy instead remarked through clenched teeth, "Why, thank you, Desmond."

Val's mouth twitched, hiding a smile. He knew Lucy hated condescension. In spite of the pair holding hands at the moment, Desmond wouldn't be holding anything more tonight; Val was certain of that fact. Unable to resist stirring the pot a little, he asked, "What did you think of the painting, Lucy?"

She retorted flippantly, giving Desmond a long dark look and Val a hard glare. "It looks like a painting of a dead fish on a table to me, and a big prick." Take that, you faithless fang-face, she added hatefully. She knew her thoughts were rude, but she had had her fill of Desmond's condescension and Val's cool demeanor.

Val stopped the grin from coming to his face, wondering just which of them was the big prick Lucy had mentioned. Did she mean the painting? Or… She was glaring at both him and the human. He stirred the pot a little more by saying in a patronizing tone, "A prejudiced viewpoint never advanced the science of art."

Desmond, who was clearly embarrassed by her comment, nodded his head. "Lucy! You don't understand the painting or its theme of significant sexual bondage."

Val's date added her two cents, too, in a very superior manner. "It's a Salvador. Everyone just loves Salvador. Why, I have three of his prints. You must look beyond the obvious. But then, mortals are so often limited in their scope." Turning to Val, she shrugged sexy shoulders. "But what can you expect from the great unwashed."

"Excuse me?" Lucy asked, swelling with ire. "I may be a mortal, but I bathe daily and at least I don't go rolling in mudpiles at the cemetery like you dirt nappers. I don't make love in nasty old coffins, and I'm smart enough to know a dead fish is a dead fish. I like what I like, and I dislike pretentious people who run around spouting off popular mumbo jumbo about nothing."

Val watched with amusement. Lucy could do that better than anybody: go from irritated to full-out enraged in less than sixty seconds. He so enjoyed her pale blue eyes when they lit with that inner fire—whether passion or anger. And it appeared that four years had done little to dim her inner fire. It was such a waste, since she was untrustworthy and disloyal, a fickle female and a death-dealer to hearts, like that Buffy character or two.

"Stupid human. Just because you can't understand the otherworldly is no reason to disdain it," Beverly snapped, her cool demeanor vanished.

Lucy didn't care that she was creating a scene or enraging the full-blooded vampiress. She continued, "Otherwordly? This painting has nothing to do with the paranormal. It only makes me feel glad I didn't have swordfish for supper."

Desmond dropped her hand and took several steps away, frowning in disapproval.

Val's date sneered. "You know nothing about art or the paranormal! Who do you think you are, you insignificant piece of human offal, to ridicule my tastes? What utter rubbish. What conceit. I've lived centuries!"

Hiding the urge to laugh out loud when Beverly got on her high horse, Val decided to defuse the situation. He didn't want mortal and vampire to come to blows even if it would be amusing. "Settle down, cherie. Lucy does know a little about the supernatural. She's the host of the Twilight Zone talk show."

Lucy fell off her high horse, crashing to the figurative ground with a loud thump. Why did Val have to bring up what she did for a living? The vampiress's anger slipped away, and she actually giggled.

"C'est vrai?"

"Mais oui—it's true," Val replied.

The vampiress giggled again. "So that's why you look familiar. I've seen your show by accident once or twice. I couldn't believe it. I caught the tail end of the one about 'Men Who are Genies and the Women Who Rub Them.' I had tears in my eyes by the time that genie appeared in all his pinkish smoke. You were coughing, and your face had black tracks where your mascara had run. It was just so… camp."

Lucy's lips tightened. "I happened to have an allergic reaction to the smoke coming out of the genie's bottle, although I didn't know it at the time."

"Your face swelled up and you croaked like a frog!" the vampiress recalled, chortling gleefully.

"Too bad I didn't fall down and crack my head open. You could have really gotten a real thrill then. All that tasty blood," Lucy retorted.

"Fall down and crack your head?" Val asked. He couldn't resist. "But, didn't you do just that on the show where you had to chase those gremlins about?" Lucy glared at him, letting him know that he was definitely the big prick she'd been talking about earlier. Nobody wore a clearer "I'd like to kick you in the balls" expression.

Glaring at Val, Lucy recalled only too clearly how she'd had to go and get stitches after the gremlins fiasco. It had been her Easter show, and she had thought gremlins would be cuter than bunnies. Their cages had been decorated like Easter baskets, but the scheming little devils had made short work of those, chewing through the bars and snapping at her audience's pant legs. Recalling the whole sordid event, Lucy recognized that she probably hadn't thought the whole basket-cage thing through well enough.

"Yes. I ended up with six stitches," she admitted.

Suddenly realizing that the wily detective had made a deadly slip, she stopped glaring, a slight smile forming on her lips. "I didn't know you watched my show."

Val replied smoothly, inwardly kicking himself for admitting as much to the untrustworthy female. "Only when I'm in the mood for some good lighthearted comedy, Lucy." He would never admit that he watched her show whenever he got the chance, and that, when he didn't, he actually taped it.

"I live to entertain," Lucy replied. "By the way, I'm thinking of doing a show called 'Supernatural Cheaters.' You'd be perfect for it."

Val glared at her. "Not my style."

"If the show fits…"

"Fits? There is one thing certain in this life, cherie—the only way I'd do that sorry-ass show is over my dead body."

"Stake, anyone?" Lucy quipped.

Val's lips lifted in a sneer, and he went on the offensive. "I've often wondered. Did you catch all those little gremlins—especially the one that took a bite out of your finger?" he asked, his expression wicked.

Lucy shook her head, her face red with anger. "You know, some men don't have any moral compass," she said. Glaring first at Val and then at Desmond, she retorted savagely, "Speaking of fingers," and then she shot Val one as she left. The two vampires and her date were given a view of her quickly retreating form.

She departed in graceful elegance, though inside her raged a storm of emotion. Unfortunately, while patting herself on the back for getting the last word and finger in on Val, she wasn't watching where she was going, and as she pushed her way through the crowd, she suddenly knocked into something.

Falling, Lucy at first thought that she had knocked over a life-sized statue of a gargoyle, tumbling them both to the floor. She hoped the statue didn't break. How could she ever cover the cost on her peanuts salary? But at the enraged shriek, much to her embarrassment, she realized the statue wasn't a statue but a real-life gargoyle in the flesh. How humiliating!

The gargoyle cursed her roundly, and in the background Lucy could hear Val's laughter stinging her very soul. It reminded her of another of her mother's quaint little sayings:

"He who laughs last is usually the biggest ass."

She couldn't agree more.

Chapter Four

The Ex-Girlfriend's Grudge

The weekend for Lucy was long and boring after her disastrous date and run-in with Val and his nonhuman paramour. With fate conspiring against her, Lucy gave up men for Ben & Jerry. She ate two gallons of their delicious product not to mention two bags of dill potato chips and a whole pizza—and probably gained three pounds, she grumbled as she walked into her dressing room at WPBS on Monday morning. She had an hour to go before her show.

"Hey," Ricki called out, glancing up from the makeup case she was cleaning. Ricki was the Twilight Zone hairstylist and makeup artist. Her dedication to makeup was legendary around the studio, second only to the legend of her love life. Ricki had never met a man she didn't like. Of course, she only got involved with those males who were both intelligent and wealthy, so Lucy supposed she did okay.

"You look worried." Ricki's words were a question. "Is it the witchy-warlock show?"

No, it wasn't the show but her lack of a love life. Lucy shook her head, taking a seat in the makeup chair. Well, today's topic did make her a tad nervous. It was "Lei-line Warlock Magic vs. Wand-conjuring Witches," which made her role as host a bit tricky.

The two wizarding groups were very competitive, and each coven believed its magic was the best. Of course, the supernatural world was a very competitive one, filled as it was with predators, huge egos, and all manner of creatures.

Yes, she'd noticed, every supernatural group, pack, nest, or coven felt that it was head and shoulders above the others. Even though it was more than obvious that vampires stood five to six heads taller than goblins, talk to a goblin and that goblin would say it was tops, the highest creature on the old paranormal totem pole. Talk to a Lei-line warlock, and he would boast that his magic wand was bigger any day of the week—and especially at night.

Lucy had been surprised to find that the two magical covens were doing her show together, since animosity had always run rampant between the two groups, not to mention bitter spells and black clouds. Getting the two covens together was going to end in magic muttering, spellbinding mumbo jumbo—i.e., just the kind of stuff those television bigwig rating-cravers yearned for, like her boss Mr. Moody.

"You have purple bags under your eyes," Ricki remarked, dabbing white concealer beneath Lucy's eyes. "You need to get more sleep."

Right, Lucy thought. How could a person sleep when she was all tied up in knots like a really twisty pretzel? It had been three nights since she encountered Val at the gallery opening, and four years since she had slept with him. But her body felt as if it were only yesterday, and she was reliving with intensity the devastating passion the vampire had once brought to her life.

Yes, Val had once filled her life with such joy that every day was like Christmas, and their lovemaking had set off fireworks that eclipsed the Fourth of July. He had intrigued and enthralled her with his wit and wisdom. He had known more about history than any class she had ever taken, and knew more about detective work than Columbo and CSI put together.

Until Val, Lucy had always carefully guarded her heart; she had kept her feet on the ground. Letting herself go, she had ended up with her head in the clouds. And then, after loving Val, one dark rainy night, her world came crashing down. The bang had shattered Lucy's heart into so many pieces, she didn't think she could ever put it back together again.

That night, after finding Val, she had flown back to San Antonio, where it became crystal clear that she needed to go farther, home to the range. So, grabbing her keys and cash from the table in the hall, she'd driven straight through the black rainy night, even though she was haggard and hurting, trying hard not to fall asleep at the wheel. The old house where her mother lived was outside of Hawley, and a six-hour drive from River Walk City.

She had cried the whole way, raindrops on the windshield keeping pace with the tracks of her tears. Until that time, Lucy hadn't known a person had so much water in her body. Arriving home, she had been both waterlogged and dehydrated, and was longing for her mom's arms and the familiarity of home.

Half listening to Ricki's prattling now, as Ricki applied blush to her cheeks, Lucy knew that she had been in the forever-kind-of-love with Val. It hadn't mattered about their cultural differences, like she was alive and he was undead. She had ignored the fact that he drank blood and she drank Cokes, that he had nice straight fangs and she'd had braces. She had overlooked the fact that he was from Old World France and thrilled to the dark paths of the night with all its vibrating pulse, and she was the original sunshine girl from West Texas.

And she should have been prepared for the deceiving Damphyr's betrayal. She had been through the unfaithful bit before; her mother had been divorced twice, both times the result of her husband's unfaithfulness. Lucy's father was now married to a third wife, younger than Lucy by two years.

And yet, Val's infidelity and loss had left her disconsolate. She couldn't eat or sleep, feeling as if part of her was dying. Inside she had been so very cold and so very empty, except for the hurt that never quite dimmed.

Some redemption had come in the form of her mother's devastating car wreck, and in the frequent surgeries afterward. Lucy hadn't had time to cry over spilt milk—or blood as the case might be—and had no time to feel sorry for herself. Her mother came first, and Lucy had bravely and determinedly gotten over her debilitating depression and finally found work.

And if it wasn't the work she had once hoped for, at least her work paid fairly well and kept her dauntless curiosity and creativity well used. Her work on the talk show had helped her to cope with the loss of the one true love of her life, and her mother's recovery had helped her find her smile again.

To be honest, when Lucy had first received the offer to come to work here in New Orleans, she had secretly been hoping to run into Val again. A tiny part of her had hoped that just maybe he would beg her forgiveness, that he would tell her how much he had missed her in his life. In fact, when she'd first moved to New Orleans, Lucy had indulged in this little fantasy quite often. Sometimes she would imagine that she would laugh in Val's face for betraying her with that overstacked, overfanged, and under-dressed vampiress. She would then order Val out of her house, his face shocked and sad, hers filled with the joy of gleeful revenge.

A few times her daydreams had gotten her and Val back together again. Well, to be honest, Lucy had mused on such a fate more than a few times, but her secret hopes and daydreams had been dashed. Even though she knew Val was aware of her presence in town, she had only seen him once—on a date at a jazz bar. He hadn't even noticed her; nor had he called since she'd arrived. Apparently, she was forgettable. And that was unforgivable, because Valmont DuPonte was anything but.

"Earth to Lucy," Ricki called. "Bags, Lucy girl, bags under the eyes! Not a good look unless you're a ghoul or a ghost. Now, why aren't you sleeping?"

Valmont DuPonte, Lucy thought angrily—the Don Juan of the dead. Once a vampire was in your blood, he was in your blood for good, like some damn parasite.

"I don't know," she lied at last.

Never again would she tell others about Val's betrayal and her broken heart. In Texas, everyone who had known Lucy knew about Val's infidelity and Lucy's love for the coffin-hopping, vampire-bopping creep. They could have written books. But no one in New Orleans even knew she had a history with this, the sexiest detective on the city's Paranormal Task Force. Which was perfect.

"I guess I've been working too hard. I've been too wound up after work to sleep."

"What you need is some good, hot, old-fashioned sex," Ricki advised.

"That's your suggestion for everything," Lucy replied, a smile on her face. Sex with Val had always almost burned up the sheets. Once he had filled her room with dark golden roses, calling her his Yellow Rose of Texas. It had been lovely.

"If it works, why knock it? Besides, whatever gets you through the night," the hairstylist commented, beginning to fluff Lucy's hair. "Hey, last night on the phone I forgot to ask about your date Friday. How'd it go?"

"He was a first-class troll."

Ricki stepped back, her mouth gaping open. "You're kidding, right? I thought you went out with Desmond Tribideaux. Instead you dated a troll? That's so gross. I wouldn't let one of those touch me with a ten-foot pole." Then, thinking about her remark, she added thoughtfully, "Although, I bet trolls might have ten-inch poles. Or larger. Hmm?"

Lucy arched her brows, giving Ricki a look of amused disgust. "Not a real-live troll. Just Desmond, who was being a first-class jerk with sex on the brain—sex in chains. Everything with him was sex and bondage, and he couldn't have cared less what I thought or what I want in life. Just what he wanted, and that was—"

"Some S & M big time, huh?" Ricki broke in.

"You got it," Lucy agreed, shaking her head. "He was almost worse than my last dinner date."

Ricki cocked her head and studied the effect of her work on Lucy's hair. "Yeah? The tax accountant?"

Lucy nodded. "I had one dinner date with the man and he was all over me. I tried to talk him out of walking me to my door, but he was adamant. Then, at the door, when he finally got it through that thick skull of his that I wasn't going to invite him in, he got all indignant and angry."

Ricki looked worried. "You didn't tell me about this."

"I was a little embarrassed at the time."

"What'd the guy do? He didn't give you any trouble that you couldn't handle, did he?" The concern in her voice was evident. Sex in today's modern world had been dangerous before paranormal predators were mixed into the lot; now sex was an impossible competition between human males and predatory paranormals. A female of any kind had to be extra, extra careful.

"Relax. When he started griping about how much money he spent on the date—over a hundred dollars, I guess—I just shut him up."

"How?" Ricki asked, intrigued. She'd relaxed now that she knew Lucy hadn't been assaulted by the tax accountant.

"I wrote out a check for fifty dollars and shoved it in his face, although I had another place in mind initially," Lucy replied, a grin on her face.

"You didn't?" Ricki started laughing. "Did he take it?"

"He did," Lucy answered, her eyes alight with humor. "And what's more, he cashed it."

"What a troll."

"My thoughts exactly," Lucy remarked as she and Ricki giggled. "Now, tell me why we females date males?"

Ricki wiped the laughing tears from her eyes, remarking quite earnestly, "Oh, that's easy. There's no one else to date."

Chapter Five

Look Who's Talking

Glancing down at her watch, Lucy noted that she had ten minutes to spare before her show began. Moving behind a curtain, she peered at the stage. Two cauldron-conjuring witches were standing by a large black pot with wisps of smoke curling from it, dropping in bits of what looked like dried bat wings.

"Bon appétit," Lucy whispered, and her attention was drawn to two Lei-line warlocks who were standing nearby, their crystal-tipped wands in hand and somber expressions on their faces. Concealed behind the stage's pale black curtains, Lucy felt it was safe to inch closer, to try and hear what the warlocks were so urgently speaking about.

"Mon Dieu! Today you wouldn't believe what happened. Serena come by my house, you see, and upset she was. She had this scarf over her face, and when she pulled it off I got frightened, bad. She looks around seventy. Her skin's all wrinkled, and her eyes are sunken in her head," the first warlock was whispering to the other.

"You mean that pretty little Serena Stevens of the Broomstick coven? Isn't she married to your cousin Arthur?"

The first warlock nodded.

The second warlock said, "Has someone put an aging spell on her? Serena's only, what—twenty-nine or so?"

"Thirty-three. But it's bad news, mon ami. Bad and scary. No way did I detect any spell or curse," the first warlock confessed. His expression was grim. "Just Feu Follets—evil spirits."

The second man frowned. His Cajun friend was the top warlock in the southern states. If a spell had been cast, he should be able to detect it.

Lucy listened in sly amazement. What a fascinating problem. She did so love riddles, although she also felt terribly sorry for the poor woman who'd turned old before her time. Imagine—one day whistling "Dixie," and the next day you're Whistler's grandmother!

"But that's impossible. People don't age overnight," the second warlock exclaimed. "Not without a spell, and a spell for aging would only last a week or two. And an evil spell like this would leave a black magic stink."

Clasping his arm tightly, the first warlock hissed, "C'est assez—that's enough! They might hear, those attention-starved cauldron crones. Wouldn't they just love it—metis oui—to stick their warty old noses in our business? I can see the headlines: Cauldron-conjurers out-magic Lei-line warlock's family. No way would we be able to keep our wands up in public. Mon Dieu, the humiliation!"

The second man nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. Those cauldron crones are always big on publicity, what with their shiny black cauldrons and their eyes of newt. Just because their witch heritage relates them to MacBeth, Sleeping Beauty, and the Witches of Eastwick—that's no reason to go and act so magically superior."

"Pas de be'tises. No joke. Remember how they go on and on about the Salem witch trials, yes? So some were hanged, so what? They never hush their mouth about it. You'd think their witch ancestors were the only ones to suffer persecution. Burned at the stake, my ancestors were—which beats hanging any day of the week!"

Hmm, Lucy thought shrewdly. A case like this could bring a lot of attention to whoever solved it. This was a serious crime, with serious repercussions. Some nasty old monster couldn't just go around aging others with a snap of his fingers; there weren't enough old folks homes around! And what would it do to Social Security, which was on its last legs anyway?

Her grandmother had always said that a person's character determined her fate, and Lucy knew she was a character, so she would be safe. Besides, public safety would be served along with her own self-interest if she could help solve the crime. People would begin to see her show in a more serious light, and even the elite of the supernatural world would have to take notice, to pay her a little respect.

She grinned in anticipation. Finally, she had something she could sink her teeth into—and she wasn't even a vampire!

Glancing over at the two warlocks, she waited for more revelations, which she was glad were quick to come.

"Her aging is downright eerie, mon ami. Arthur is worry-sick, and Serena is complaining of hard hearing and wanting to eat supper at four in the afternoon. I tried every spell I knew to de-age her. Mais non, I couldn't. What's been done? Me, I don't know. But it's not black magic like I know. I'm at my warlock's end."

But Lucy wasn't. She firmly planted the names of Serena and Arthur Stevens in her mind. If she played her cards right, mortals and paranormals alike would soon see her as something more than a pretty face. Tomorrow she would go and visit the poor woman, then have a meeting with the oldest practitioner of black magic in New Orleans: Marvin Laveau, great-grandson to Marie Laveau, the voodoo queen to end all voodoo queens.

The two warlocks took a seat, and Lucy quickly patted her hair. The assistant producer of the show called out, "Four minutes till airtime."

Walking out from behind the curtains, Lucy took her place in the leather chair situated between the black leather sofas where the two warlocks and three witches were now seated. The segregated groups were shooting daggerlike looks between them, their hostility clear.

Lucy smiled at both groups and sat, hoping that open magical warfare wasn't about to erupt. There was not only her safety, but Moody's complaints about the repair bills to consider.

"Three minutes till airtime, Lucy," the assistant producer called out.

Turning her attention back to her guests, Lucy glanced down at her notes. "Now, I know we will all have a good time on the show today, and we will behave ourselves as befits adult warlocks and witches," she reminded them. "No casting spells or curses. No bewitching. And remember we have an audience, so no cursing. After all, we are prime time."

The two warlocks looked slightly affronted. "We know how to not cause trouble. After all, we're descended from noble stock—Merlin of Camelot!"

"Sorry," Lucy apologized.

"We come from noble stock also," one of the older witches retorted.

Before more could be said, Lucy cut everyone off. "I'm glad. That means this show will be quite a success with the dignity and aristocratic bearing you all will want to display on it."

Both sides seemed appeased, and they tried to outdo each other in their noble silence.

Lucy breathed a sigh of thankful relief. Today's show was going to be fine. There would be no problems, no chairs breaking, no egg on her face, no ghost sliming goo all over her Diordi pantsuit, nobody's pot of gold stolen, and no leprechaun curses flowing over her head. And most important of all, no reason for her boss to fire her tonight.

And things went fine for a bit. The show was dandy until one of the cauldron witches remarked that sometimes a wand was only a wand, and then only as good as the hand that held it, but that a cauldron was a cauldron.

The warlocks both shouted, "Mon Dieu! Isn't that just like the pot to call the kettle black?"

And the show went rapidly downhill from there, black magic, white magic and every other color flashing as well. Spells and stinky odors filled the air, and Lucy was hard-pressed to tell which witch had done what.

After thirty minutes of that, Lucy found a frog in her hair as the warlocks sent the things raining down on the cauldron-conjuring witches. The witches, not to be outdone, decided to conjure up cats, all manner of shapes and sizes, like a berserk Cat in the Hat book, felines appearing everywhere.

Lucy sighed in resignation. Yes, it was raining cats and frogs. Mr. Moody was going to be hopping mad about tonight's janitor bill. It seemed everybody wanted to rain on her parade.

Still, she had a lead to a better story.

Chapter Six

Marvin's Voodoo Room

The sun, a bright orange ball, was sinking slowly into the horizon as Lucy parked her car on Potion Ninety-nine Street, an ancient road settled directly in the center of the voodoo triangle, where most of the traiteurs, priests, and priestesses lived along with several witch covens. It was the day after the shower of frogs and cats, courtesy of those overly sensitive witches and warlocks.

Getting out of her car two houses down from Marvin Laveau's house, Lucy breathed deep, noting the air was heavy with the smell of wisteria and honeysuckle, along with the crisp odor of burnt milk—the scent of magic. Locking her car, she went back over her conservation with Serena Stevens.

Two hours earlier, she had convinced Serena to speak with her. It hadn't been easy. Serena hadn't wanted to see anybody, much less talk to anyone about her ordeal. But Serena had eventually shown Lucy a photograph taken four months earlier.

Lucy had been shocked, trying valiantly to hide her amazed revulsion. Serena had been a beautiful thirty-three-year-old witch, the picture of health and vitality. Now she was an old woman with liver spots everywhere, and all the wrinkle cream in the world couldn't help her now. Serena had aged forty years overnight. Or, to be more precise, Serena had aged after a kiss at the hands of a supernatural predator, a heinous creature who was apparently on the loose in the Big Easy, a monster who had to be stopped.

Serena had told Lucy that she and her warlock husband had been having some problems in their marriage, and that she had been going out bar-hopping with her friends for several weeks now. On her first girls night out, Serena had met a very handsome man with deep violet eyes and dark black hair he wore in a waist-length braid. He called himself DeLeon, and had a scar on his cheek that began under his left eye. Instead of taking away from his massive sex appeal, the mark only seemed to add to it.

At first Serena had thought the gorgeous male was a vampire, and since vampires and witches generally got along like a pot on boil, she had flirted mercilessly with him at the Overbite Bar. But the next night she'd had too much to drink, and she'd gone into the alleyway to share a passionate kiss with him.

The kiss had quickly swirled out of control. Serena had tried to break away, but DeLeon had held her fast. He had ripped off her panties and begun assaulting her, and she'd felt her heart beating so hard that she'd thought it was going to burst out of her chest. Her skin had started to burn, and the very essence of herself had started to fade into nothingness.

Fortunately, some college students had wandered into the alleyway to release some of the beer they'd downed, and the timely interruption had saved Serena's life. Unfortunately, the three drunks hadn't arrived in time to save her youth.

Lucy sighed. Pushing open Laveau's wrought-iron fence, she saw a few raindrops splatter on the crumbling sidewalk in front of her. She quickly stepped over a crack in the sidewalk where a large root had pushed its way through the cement. She didn't know what the new monster was that had attacked Serena, but she intended to find out. If Marvin didn't know what kind of monster could steal people's youth, then no one did.

Marvin Laveau had actually just been on her show about "Voodoo priests who fall in love with their dolls." The man might be crazy in love with his life-size doll, and he might be just plain crazy, but he was one of the world's oldest voodoo masters. He knew more in his little fingers about bad scary things than most people could dream up in their nightmares.

Walking up the steps to the large veranda, Lucy used the pentagram knocker. The door was answered on the second knock, and Lucy was led inside a large room and told to wait.

The room's windows had dangling glass beads and bones hanging in the place of curtains. Old books and sheafs of papers were nestled among the floor-length shelves, and the jars that covered every surface were filled with wiggly inhabitants or dried herbs. One jar appeared to be staring at her.

Lucy looked closer, and she gasped. Eyeballs filled the jar. Reading the label, she hit her forehead with her hand. "Of course! Eyes of newt." Picking it up, she studied it closer. "So that's what it looks like."

"Mais oui," Marvin Laveau said as he entered.

Lucy turned, pasting a smile on her face. "Thanks for seeing me on such short notice," she said.

Marvin was over eighty, with hair long silvered with age and eyes a startling emerald green. His skin was the color of burnt molasses, and his long life was reflected in the many lines of his austere face.

"Ma petite, you said it was important." Then, seating himself in a chair behind his rather impressive oak desk, he motioned for her to sit as well.

Lucy nodded her thanks, and reclined in a chair covered with a lace cloth directly in front of his desk.

"Ouch." Jumping back up, she reached under the heavy lace and pulled out a rubber chicken. She stared mutely at the rubber hen, a dumbstruck expression on her face. Then: "I thought you used real chickens in your ceremonies. Although… I do see how plastic ones would be better. No blood and no stink," she guessed.

Marvin's laughter filled the room, and he leaned back in his chair. The sound boomed everywhere.

Lucy frowned, putting the plastic chicken on his desk. Once again, she felt the butt of a joke.

"It's ma 'tite fille—my little girl. My granddaughter. It is her idea of a joke."

"I see," Lucy replied. She grinned. "I bet she's a handful."

"Oui." Still chuckling, Marvin added, "Ah, youth. It so often wasted on the young."

Which was a perfect opening, Lucy thought, and she began her tale about the young witch who was now old. She explained concisely and precisely the events that had led up to and followed Serena's rapid aging. Marvin listened quietly, his dark eyes going from warm laughter to grim concern. "Bon Dieu avoir pitie!" he said at last. The confusion must have shown on Lucy's face, because his next words translated, "Good God have mercy."

Lucy nodded. "You said a mouthful. Can you help me?"

"You want to know who or what could do this to someone?"

Lucy nodded again. "Do you know?"

Marvin frowned, then got to his feet and walked over to a bookshelf. Pulling down a weathered-looking book with yellowed pages, he flipped through. As he found what he was looking for, his frown deepened, carving deep black scowl lines in his forehead. He nodded to himself. "Mais oui. It is just as I thought."

"What?" Lucy asked in breathless anticipation.

"This is pure evil. Ancient evil," he said, his voice harsh with concern. "The monster you seek is called an incubus. A Ka incubus to be precise, one that feeds off a person's youth like vampires feed off blood."

"An incubus?" Lucy felt goose bumps up and down her arms, as if the universe was warning her away. "I've heard of incubi that feed off lust. But I thought they were extinct."

"Non. Not extinct, but very rare. And these are even more so. Few know about the Ka incubi. I had thought they were in the Big Sleep between worlds and shadows. But it appears that one is here in the Big Easy." Marvin shook his head. "Ma amie, this is very bad. Very bad magic."

Suddenly time seemed to slow, if only for a moment, and Lucy knew that she had crossed a line. She was nearing the dark side, hunting for this predator who stole a person's life-force. She could end up dead, or she could end up sixty-four, with lined skin and nobody to love her—and all in the next few days. Still, she wouldn't let the opportunity pass. Her mama didn't raise no fools.

Watching Lucy's reaction, Marvin nodded somberly, his green eyes fraught with some emotion Lucy didn't understand. An image of Serena thrust itself into her mind: Serena's misery, her lack of hope, the dying emotion and life in her eyes. "Can Serena ever get her youth back?" she found herself asking.

"Oui. If someone can capture the incubus fairly soon and submerge him in salt water for a day and night, then part of the life-force he has stolen will be given back to those whom he has robbed."

"How do you capture something like that?" Lucy asked.

Marvin stared at her. Then he explained how to capture an incubus with an ancient spell. It included chanting, some green powder, and unfortunately a dead chicken. Lucy had him write it down.

Before she left, Marvin warned her to be careful, and then he made her a protection gris-gris. It included some herbs, a small stone, and a few bones. The last ingredient, much to Lucy's disgust, was a small chicken foot.

Chickens, chickens, chickens. She hadn't liked the things since she was a girl, and had had to gather eggs in the henhouse on the small ranch her family owned in West Texas. She still had the tiny scars on her arms from chicken-pecking during her egg-gathering experiences. An irate chicken was damn mean—like an eighth-grade girl—and it pecked anyone who was stupid enough to go after its eggs. As Lucy got older, she'd given a wide berth to rampaging chickens, even going so far as to swear off fried chicken, her grandma's specialty. Now it seemed she was back in fowl territory.

Thanking Marvin sincerely for his help, she walked outside and fingered the gris-gris. Her thoughts were whirling around and around like a potter's wheel. She didn't really believe in lucky charms, but one couldn't hurt. Although, now she was stuck wearing a chicken's foot around her neck. At least it didn't peck and didn't stink. Her life, she mused wryly, was a feathery flap of a farce.

Chapter Seven

Hank Williams had it Right

Fingering the gris-gris that Marvin had given her earlier in the day, Lucy walked up the steps to the entrance of the Overbite Bar, DeLeon's supposed hangout. Marvin's and Serena's warnings echoed in her ear, ghostly whispers of dread. Still, Lucy knew that some stories had to be told. It didn't matter that danger lay hidden deep in the shadows, concealed behind smoke and mirrors; all that mattered was the story, and that she would be the one to expose the Ka incubus on her talk show. However, caution would be her word of the day. She didn't intend to go from being a talk show diva to queen of a nursing home all in one night.

At the door, two large signs read: VAMPIES DO IT WITH A PRICK AND WEREWOLVES DO IT WITH THEIR CLAWS ON.

Lucy frowned. That was too much for her. Still, paying her cover charge, she walked inside.

The Overbite Bar was a place where wannabes, a few real vampires, werewolves, and other supernatural creatures sometimes stopped by for a drink or a quick bite.

The club was fairly crowded tonight, and it looked like everyone and their dog was here. Around Lucy, vampire wannabes were dressed in black capes and black pants, their dark shirts open to the waist, exposing their jugulars. Others were dressed in red.

For some strange reason, humans had gotten it into their heads that vampires only liked black and red. Vampires did love the color red, but mostly flowing out of bodies—to drink and not to wear.

And vampires apparently loved flowers. The male vampires here wore flowers in their buttonholes, and the vampiresses wore them in their hair or on their clothing, and it was clear each vampire was specific about which flower he preferred. Val must have preferred golden roses.

Choosing a table in the middle of the bar, Lucy glanced up at the open balcony above, noting where the true vampires were sitting. The tables they sat at had an array of night-blooming flora in vases. The vampires were dressed in an array of bright colors, skintight dresses or pants. Lucy caught a glimpse of disgust cross their faces every time the humans below vied for their attention in their Bela Lugosi costumes and faux vampire creations.

A waitress dressed in a skimpy black dress with almost no back leaned down and asked, "What's your poison?"

"Lone Star longneck," Lucy responded, scanning the crowd.

"Hey, aren't you that host for the Twilight Zone?" Lucy nodded, glad to be recognized, and the waitress continued enthusiastically, "I just loved that one show with all those Draculas in drag."

Lucy smiled. "It's one of my favorites, too. Kind of like a Victoria's Secret catalog meets Fangoria."

"I know! I'm just dying to know where that green-haired drag queen got that cute little leafy number."

Lucy laughed. The leafy number had just the right amount of strategically placed foliage, giving the drag queen a kind of Tarzan-meets-Dracula chic. "He told me he bought his outfit at the Yolanda G. store," she confided.

"Thanks!" The waitress looked thrilled, flashing a toothy smile—complete with fake fangs, of course. "Well, let me get your beer."

Two drinks later, Lucy still hadn't spotted her quarry, and had turned down four offers to dance and one to buy her a drink. She was getting antsy from sitting still for so long. Shaking her head, she sighed. She'd had no idea surveillance work was such a dull detail. No wonder cops sat around on stakeouts eating donuts and drinking tons of black coffee, with scowls on their faces; they were probably bored silly.

Glancing down at her watch, she noted it was approaching one in the morning. She was tired and she had been here for over three hours, hoping to use herself as bait, yet so far she had received no useful bites. She hadn't even spotted anyone that resembled the description of DeLeon, and certainly not anyone with violet eyes, a color no other supernatural predator she'd seen could claim.

"Well, well. Look who's here."

Turning slightly, Lucy found herself face-to-face with Detective Valmont DuPonte, and she choked on her drink. As usual, his presence was electric. Her pale blue eyes watering, she wondered what the coffin-hopping, fang-banging worm was doing here.

As her eyes quit watering, she took another long look at her ex-lover. He might be a cheating worm, but Val was an attractive worm, and he wore authority well. This vampire, who had made his own rules for centuries, was like a giant straddling the world.

He was staring at her neck. She shivered, remembering that necking with a vampire took on a whole new meaning—and that meaning was a far cry from the necking with a redneck in a pickup truck that all good—or not-so-good—Texas girls had done in high school.

Her heart began pounding, and she felt an adrenaline rush much like the ones she got when she ran. Runs always made her slightly dizzy and sick at her stomach. That, she supposed, was why she rarely ran or jogged.

"Fancy meeting you here, Lucy. Slumming and dressed like an Elvira reject?" Val pulled out a chair across from her and sat down.

Lucy narrowed her eyes. Her dress might be a tad on the Goth side, but it was none of her ex's business.

"Hardly slumming," she replied, willing her brisk heartbeat to slow down, willing the butterflies in her stomach to settle and stop trying to crawl up into her throat. "I don't remember asking you to sit down."

"Now, ma petite, your bad manners are showing." Val stared at her fringed sleeves with tiny feathers attached and grimaced. "Definitely the Elvira look. Or maybe Morticia Addams."

Glancing away from Lucy, Val took in some of the other mortals. They seemed dressed more for a Halloween costume ball than a nightclub. His blue eyes lit with scorn. Humans were always trying to imitate what they admired, and most of them were hoping to live forever. They never learned that it wasn't the number of breaths a person took, but the quality of those breaths. A person could live to be a thousand, but that wasn't the key. If he wasn't happy with himself as a mortal, he would probably despise himself as an immortal.

Lucy heard the scorn in Val's voice. She knew he despised Goth clubs and all humans who longed to be something they weren't. It wasn't that Val was a snob; it was just that he believed those who longed to be vampires and leave behind their humanity had little idea what being a vampire really meant. He had explained it all to her: Vampirism wasn't about sex, blood, and violence all the time, or about unending power and very long lives. Rather, being a vampire was a culture within itself, with very strict rules and responsibilities.

Even though she understood his point, she didn't like his disdain. Especially not directed at her. "What cactus bit you in the butt?"

"Cherie, how you've changed since…" He hesitated, the implication clear.

"You mean, since that night we broke up?" Lucy finished crossly. Oh, how that night lived in infamy in her mind.

"Since you ran away like a pichouette—like a little girl. You acted like a spoiled brat, breaking up with me without hearing my explanations." Val hadn't meant to get into their separation, to show that he held any feelings for her whatsoever, but seeing her up close and personal had really tested his resolve. Lucy was still as beautiful and spirited as when he'd first met her. He recalled the strawberry birthmark on her right hip that turned scarlet red when she climaxed. He longed to forget her totally, but he also longed to hold her in his arms.

He leaned back in his chair. Her scent was still managing to arouse him to a painful degree, his preternatural senses running amok with his hormones. He shouldn't feel anything for this woman who could turn away from his love, who could not trust him never to betray her. Her lack of trust had wounded him deeply, especially after he had given her his whole heart. "You wouldn't even take my phone calls," he reminded her coldly.

"You quit calling after six weeks. Such devotion," Lucy asserted. "Romeo would have called Juliet for at least six months before he gave up on her… if they had phones back then," she finished lamely. Just because she had screamed at Val to never call her again was no reason that he had to obey. He should have just climbed up her balcony.

"You told me you loved me, Val. Man oh man, was Hank Williams right!" Lucy said disgustedly.

"Hank Williams?" Val cocked a brow, trying to follow Lucy's slippery thoughts. Sometimes it was like trying to walk on a tightrope covered in grease being cut at one end.

"Your cheating heart will tell on you! You betrayed me with a vampiress. A vampiress! You swore to me that you didn't mind me being human, and yet you made love to another of your species while you were supposedly in love with me! Well, let me tell you something, you crypt Casanova—what goes around comes around!" she snarled, her pale blue eyes darkening. "You didn't find me with my teeth in someone else's neck that night! You're as bad as my father and stepfather." So far, her father had been married three times, and her stepfather had left her mother for a twenty-two-year-old with two big boobs and one tiny little brain.

The muscles in his jaw tightening, Val growled, "E'spes'ces de te'te dure."

"Oh, speak English!" Lucy grumped.

"You hardheaded thing. I did not betray you. Not once. Not ever!"

Val's voice rose on his last two words, and the sharpness of it grated on Lucy's nerves. How dare he criticize her when he was the lecherous leech who couldn't keep his fangs in his mouth? "Liar, liar, pants on fire," she spat out. Then, realizing what she had said, she prayed for the floor to swallow her whole. "Well, that was certainly mature," she said after a moment. And although her face was red, at least she had beat him to any comment.

Relaxing slightly, Val crossed his arms over his chest. "I rest my case. You are as stubborn as a mule and you still haven't grown up."

"Why, you randy horse's ass. Just because I'm not over two hundred years old doesn't make me immature."

"Your age has nothing to do with it, cherie, just your attitude. Deep inside you're still that little girl whose father left her mother for another woman," Val remarked. Watching her angry face tense with the mention of her past, he went on. "You never really gave me a chance. I tried hard to prove to you that I was trustworthy, cherie. I let you see more of me than I have ever shown anyone besides my immediate family. But when push came to shove, you shoved me away."

"Jeez, Val. Since when did you get the psychology degree?" Lucy sneered. He had no right to condemn her when he had betrayed her trust. "My mom was right. Dogs are loyal. Men aren't."

Val glared at her. "You're not the only one who got hurt. You should have just taken a stake and stuck it in my heart. Because that's what it felt like when you threw away our life."

Lucy held up her thumb, making it go around in a tiny circle. "See this? It's the world's smallest record playing 'My Heart Bleeds for You.' "

Val sighed. "Were you always this cruel, or had I forgotten?" He should be over her. There had been other females of all colors, species, and sizes. And yet… none of them compared to Lucy, even on her bad days.

"I'm not some dumb blonde, Val. I know what I saw! You had your fangs in her neck and you were both naked underneath those robes!"

At that moment, Lucy hated Val with an intensity that shocked her, and wanted him with a desperation born of lost closeness. Part of her was crying out to run her fingers over that wonderfully sleek body. It had been so long since she had felt the incredible mind-altering passion he stirred within her. She found herself wondering how a heart could be filled with such hurt, and yet want so much to brave that hurt again.

Val stood up to leave, graceful as always.

"Wait!" The word tore from her throat in its urgency, but Lucy couldn't and wouldn't beg to have him back. Campbell women were made of sterner stuff than that.

Still, before she knew what she was doing, she'd already asked, "What happened, Val?"

He shook his head. "Once I would have explained my actions. Once I tried to explain my actions. But you didn't want to listen."

"I…" Lucy choked on the words. Suddenly she was dying to know why her love had cheated on her, wanted to forget her pride and her past. "Why were you with that vamp that night?"

Val studied Lucy's high breasts, and the way her skirt skimmed over her hips, hugging their slender shape. But then he decided, "Once those words would have meant the world to me. Once. You know something, cherie, you're a martyr to your past."

And before Lucy could say another word, Val was gone; the dead man was walking, leaving her a dead woman inside once again. He was right; she knew that her past had shaped her into the woman she was today. Her decisions, values, hopes, fears—it all came from what had happened to her as a child, both the big traumatic heartbreaks and the small inconsequential things that filled the everyday life. After hearing Val tonight, Lucy wondered if her eyes had been so clouded with what had been that she'd refused to see what could have been.

Two tears coursed down her cheeks, and Lucy had a feeling that she had might have made a mistake four years ago. In a life fraught with errors and her accident-prone character, losing Val might just have been the biggest mistake of her whole life.

No. Who was she kidding? Losing Val had been the biggest mistake of her life. Getting up from her table, she resolved to leave. She was too depressed for any more stakeout duty. And as she walked out the door of the bar, Lucy sighed mournfully.

"If only." They were two small words, which meant everything if a lonely person could go back.

If only.

Chapter Eight

I Used to Love Lucy

Everyone, human or supernatural, carried his past with him, like so much unwanted baggage. If a person was smart and self-aware, he lightened his load. But Lucy hadn't lightened her load at all, Val realized despondently as he hurried out of the Overbite Bar.

Shaking his head, he walked to his car. He had loved Lucy once, deeply and passionately, in spite of the fact that she had turned his undead life upside down with her accident-prone and chaotic lifestyle. Lucy was intelligent, passionate, and most of all she made him laugh. She had a bulldog determination in whatever she undertook, and an air of innocence about her that he had always found refreshing. He had loved to listen to her West Texas accent she couldn't quite get rid of, especially with words like "oil," "wash," and "nine." The way she slurred them out, she sounded like she was from another planet.

The first time Val met her had been at the Riverwalk in San Antonio. When she had fallen into the river, he had fallen hard. Later that night, they had danced to a golden oldie by Tony Orlando called "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree," and Chicago's "Color My World." Those two songs became their songs.

Three weeks later they'd made love for the first time. The Eagles' "Take it to the Limit" had been playing, and their two pulses had beat in rhythm to the music and their dance of love as old as time. Val had taken them both to the limit, over and over, as the dark shades of evening faded to the grays and purples of darkest night. Lucy had been everything he ever imagined in a lover. Of course, she had also been fairly inexperienced.

Yes, Lucy had become his daydreams, and she had filled his nighttime with true happiness, a bon viveur he had not felt in over two hundred years.

On the downside, Lucy had always been argumentative, stubborn as a mule for someone not of the shape-shifter weremule set, suspicious, and immature. Her pride was almost as strong as his own. And the most daunting thing about her was that she hadn't outgrown her past. She probably never would.

The ringing of his cell phone captured his attention as he put his car into gear. Glancing down at the display, he noted it was his partner in the paranormal task forces. "What's up, Chris?"

Chris's husky voice drew him back from his dark thoughts about lost love. Christine was a vampiress, and had been his partner for over four years. She had once been a lover. In fact, her relationship with Val was what had sparked her interest in law enforcement. Christine had gotten her degree and become a police officer for the night shift back when women were still scarce in the force.

"What's happened?" he asked her.

"We got a dead one. Strange, Val. It's really strange," Chris said.

"Where at?" Val felt his face muscles tightening. If Christine said it was strange, that was a bad sign. As partners, they had seen some really gruesome murders, from deranged ghouls to rogue werewolves.

"Down at the French Quarter on Voodoo Lane, a block from Addams's Familiars."

Addams's Familiars was a favorite of the wizard and witch world, as well as with gargoyles who liked having something fuzzy to play with while in flesh form. Cats, frogs, bats, hamsters—any number of familiars were available at the store, in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

"You there now?" Val asked.

"Oui. Just got here and saw the body," Christine replied, her voice filled with tension.

"I'll be there in five," Val responded. He flipped off the phone. If Chris was this upset, something big, bad, and ugly had gone down tonight. Val knew, because he knew his partner. Even though they hadn't been lovers in over eighty years, he still cared about her and always would. She hadn't ever been the love of his life, but she always stood firm as a friend that he could count on. He owed Christine a lot, in spite of the fact that she was the vampiress Lucy had seen with him that ill-fated night four years ago.

Hurrying to the scene of the crime, he could see the yellow and black police tape billowing softly in the light wind. Val's nostrils dilated at the smell of garbage tinged with the hot sultry air of the Louisiana night. Beneath the putrid scent of rotting trash was a different smell of decay.

His partner was standing by the victim's body. Christine's skin was the color of creamed coffee, her lean, muscular body a stark contrast to the victim. The dead woman was older, her body curled into the fetal position, and she had heavily wrinkled skin on her face with eyes clouded white from age. The corpse had little muscle mass left in her legs and arms, and her skirt was hiked above bony hips. Underwear hung around her right ankle.

It was the expression on her face, mouth frozen in a scream of horror, which caused a wave of sympathy to sweep Val. Nobody should die in a dirty alley like this, left to rot like so much trash. And soon the victim would be just a number in the morgue. Val wondered what her last thoughts had been. The woman had been terribly afraid; he could still smell the emotion in the air.

Clenching his jaw, he surveyed the area and approached the victim. The scene showed signs of rough sex: bruises on the skin and ripped underclothes.

Kneeling, he studied the victim as dozens of scents filtered through his nose. Something supernatural had used this woman and destroyed her; Val could smell it in the scents of night, in a faint damp smell of the grave. He didn't believe a vampire had done this, but something with a similar smell—something probably a close relative to the Nosferatu species.

"A la fin! Welcome to the end," Val hissed, his dark blue eyes fierce. And, shaking his head, he turned away from the frozen scream and wide milky eyes of the corpse. "Who found the body?" he asked.

"Some kids. They were drinking pretty heavily and wandered outside to be sick."

Val nodded. "Coroner?"

Christine glanced down at her watch. "ETA is sometime in the next ten minutes." She turned back to the victim's corpse, sadly shaking her head. "She looks like she's been raped. Who would want to rape an old woman? And why is this old woman wearing red bikini briefs with lace hearts? And look at the old gal's shoes! Four-inch spiked heels? How can someone this frail even walk in them?"

Val shook his head. "The sex started out consensual, I think. And she smells like she's been dead maybe three hours. Not more than four."

Sniffing the air carefully, Christine concurred, her chocolate-brown eyes filled with worry. Lifting the victim's purse, she grabbed the wallet inside.

"What on earth could have done this?" she asked, glancing through the wallet.

"You mean what in hell," Val said savagely. Even after all the years he had lived, death was never a pretty sight. He knew it was never a welcome one for mortals.

"You think we're looking for some sort of demon work?" Christine asked.

Val shook his head.

"A traiteur voodoo?" Christine suggested, holding up the victim's driver's license. "Says here that her name is Caral Jones. She was only twenty-four. Damn, it looks like she got a reverse face-lift."

"Or something worse, much worse," Val agreed. He hated to see this waste. Life was precious, both human and paranormal. This young woman had once laughed, had probably strolled along the French Quarter in the morning, sitting at a cafe with a cup of chicory coffee and a plate of warm beignets. This woman had once loved and been held tenderly by someone who cherished her. Her hopes and potential were now gone forever, all taken by an act of cruel intention and insidious hunger. To stop things like this was why he'd joined the police.

"How was this done? If this is her license… how could she age to death this quickly?"

"With a lot of help from something otherworldly," Val replied. "Something real otherworldly. Something I thought was still sleeping, which was sleeping for over six centuries."

"What are you talking about? What did this? If it was black magic, then it's stronger than any I've ever seen."

Val lowered his head as he studied the body, replying tersely, "This isn't simple black magic, Chris. This was something feeding."

His partner looked incredulous. "Feeding? What feeds on youth?"

"An incubus. A Ka incubus to be exact."

"But I…" Chris hesitated, her confusion evident. "Incubi feed on lust, I thought. And there aren't many of them left."

Glancing back at his partner, Val nodded. "You're half right. Incubi who feed on lust are called Eros incubi. They're very old, and since they can't create more of themselves, they're a dying race. Maybe there are eleven left from the Old World. Those, supposedly, in Europe."

"Then what's a Ka? I've never heard of mem."

Val sighed, adding in a grim tone, "Not many know of their existence. They feed off youth, like the Eros feed off lust. There's only supposed to be three or four Kas left, and they have been sleeping the Big Sleep. Nobody knows where. It was rumored they were around the Ural Mountains. It appears the rumors are wrong," Val finished sardonically. He glanced down at the aged remains in front of him.

"Let me do some checking, and I'll get back with you on this," he said after a moment. If what he was thinking was true, then the Big Easy was in for a world of hurt. Incubi in general felt the world was their oyster. Kas liked to eat oysters raw. They were generally very intelligent, lusty, attractive, and cruel. And hungry. They were always very, very hungry.

Christine started to argue, but Val shook his head and started toward his car. "Look, I've got some research to do, and some calls to make to the League in Europe."

"The League of Vampires?" Christine asked, surprised. Val hated to ask for help, and especially from the League. They always required a favor for anything they did. Sometimes those favors had a decidedly nasty edge.

"Chris, use your paranormal contacts to check out the supernatural community, and see if there have been any more bodies that have aged at a rapid rate. I know there are no cases like this anywhere in New Orleans or even Louisiana, or we would have been contacted. But try out the Federal website for similar crimes and see if anything else is stirring."

Christine nodded and Val left, his thoughts in turmoil. If a Ka incubus was feeding in New Orleans, what a plentiful supply of food the monster had. Partygoers of every age, size, shape, and beauty, everyone was drinking and enjoying the good life, not realizing that paradise always, always, had a dark side, a cruel, ugly side.

Val cursed. The Big Easy was appropriately named.

Chapter Nine

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

After a sleepless night, regrets filling her for both listening to Val and not listening to Val, Lucy had gotten out of bed on the wrong side. Nothing had gone right lately. She hadn't found DeLeon at the Overbite Bar, and Val's comments had been earth-shattering. For four years she had refused to listen to him, and now she was dying to hear his explanation. And if that didn't beat all, she didn't know what did.

Eating a late lunch in front of her television, she found a newscast that caught her attention like the snap of a line when a big old catfish took the bait. The newscaster was talking about the recent violence in New Orleans, the newest death. And Lucy was struck by the description of an old woman who had been found raped and murdered. Her name was Caral Jones. The unusual spelling had stuck out like a sore thumb.

As luck would have it, Lucy had interviewed a Caral Jones eight months ago for one of her shows. Caral had been twenty-four.

In trying to get answers from the New Orleans Paranormal Task Force, Lucy was unsuccessful. She encountered a big blue wall, as if she had run smack-dab into a Blueberry Ogre. No one was answering any questions, which only encouraged Lucy's suspicions. As her mother always said: "You can douse a skunk with perfume, but it still stinks."

Yes, the New Orleans PTF stunk to high heaven. Caral Jones's murder had been done by a preternatural creature unlike any New Orleans had ever seen or smelled before. The perp was a Ka incubus, and the powers that be were keeping mum.

Calling Caral's number, Lucy quickly learned that the girl had died last night, a victim of a foul attack. The chances of two women with the same unusual spelling of the name Caral both dying on the same night were just too much, and so, in typical fashion, Lucy came up with a plan. She had been tempted to tell Ricki, to get her help, but decided at the last moment that tracking down a Ka incubus was too dangerous to include close friends or even enemies.

Putting her plan into action, she dressed in beige khakis with a white lab coat thrown over her blue T-shirt. Her hair was in a tight bun, and she put on a pair of tortoiseshell spectacles, hoping to disguise her looks. She might not be as famous as Sandra Bullock, but she did have some following in New Orleans.

On the pocket of the lab coat she wore, Lucy pinned the name tag for a Dr. Craig. Her badge at a quick glance looked like any other badge worn by members of the New Orleans morgue staff; however, if she was unlucky and someone inspected the badge closer she would be caught for sure.

She was unlucky. Within ten minutes, Lucy had been caught by a junior G-man wannabe, the assistant to the assistant coroner. She had been thrown unceremoniously out of the morgue, and escorted outside by a security guard with a stern lecture on illegally gaining entrance.

Back at her van, Lucy eyed the hospital building, a huge Gothic-like structure built of cement, limestone, and steel. A small light above the imposing entrance revealed two thick glass doors, a yawning opening like a huge glass mouth.

Lucy stared hard at the entrance, her thoughts tumbling everywhere. At this rate, she thought derisively, she would never get close to Caral Jones. But the old woman's body in the morgue must be the same Caral Jones that Lucy had interviewed, and a person didn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out that the Ka was on the attack.

Putting on her thinking cap, Lucy reviewed her options. She had to get into the morgue to view the evidence. Just because she had been bodily escorted out, that did not deter her. Campbell women weren't squeamish or quitters. They were, however, adept at adaptation.

Watching an ambulance pull in, Lucy noticed the attendees wheeling a covered body on a stretcher into the morgue.

"A covered sheet… a body. Oh yeah!" she said, her pale blue eyes lighting with inspiration. Jumping into her van, she took off like a bat out of hell.

Thirty minutes later, Lucy had secured a gurney and sheets from St. Elligus Hospital, a parish hospital that was so busy a person could steal a dead body away with no one the wiser. This bizarre event had happened a time or two in the past, as Lucy knew from interviews on her show.

Unloading the gurney from the back of her van, Lucy cursed as she dropped one of the wheels on her toes. "Hell's bells," she said as she hopped around on one foot. "That really hurts." Who knew that a gurney was so heavy? Paramedics should get hazard pay.

Reaching inside her van, she grabbed a king-sized bottle of ketchup and began squeezing it into the sheets. After she finished, she rubbed it onto her pants, T-shirt, and arms, then smeared some into her hair. At last, closing the van doors, she began her secret trek to the morgue by route of a line of trees around the building. She wanted absolute silence, but finally decided that an occasional curse and the sound of twigs snapping under the gurney wheels would be acceptable.

"Damn it all," she said. A gurney had wheels and rolled, so therefore it should be reasonably easy to push across slightly uneven, unpaved ground. Who would have known it would take a bodybuilder to accomplish it? At this rate, she was going to miss her show, which just wasn't acceptable—not to her, and, more especially, not to her boss, Mr. Moody. She sped up, in spite of the protest from her aching muscles.

She had to duck far back into the tree's shadows with the gurney once, as an ambulance came to a screeching halt in front of the morgue. Waiting for the attendants to leave, Lucy began to get impatient, feeling terribly creepy standing smothered in ketchup in the shadows, cavernous darkness at her back.

Suddenly, her scalp started itching and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, just like in a horror movie. Someone or something was watching her; she just knew it. It was probably plotting how best to eat her alive, or to drink her blood, to drain her dry. And she'd already applied the condiment.

A ghostly whisper of sound had her cringing, and Lucy felt the cold at her back. Beyond that were the black recesses and dark depths of the unknown. Her breathing quickened and she took deep breaths, the metallic taste of fear filling her mouth. She didn't want to be a blurb on the nightly news, "Talk show host found eaten like a hamburger." She didn't want to be any species' food for thought.

Reaching inside her pocket, she found her can of mace. She wanted to turn around and look, but fear held her immobile until the crackling of tree branches behind her preceded the word "Who?" That startled her into reacting.

With lightning reflexes born of fear, Lucy whirled, expecting to see some demon from hell, or some ghoul or ghoulish freak who liked to hang out near morgues. Instead, her eyes, now more accustomed to the darkness, met two other eyes staring at her from the top of an oak.

"Hooo," the sound came again.

Shoving a hand to her mouth, Lucy barely stifled her relieved giggles. Her menacing presence was an owl! Shaking her head, she stepped back and checked again on the ambulance. Its attendants were just now getting inside.

As she stood there, Lucy felt a sting on her ankle, followed closely by another. "Ouch!" She hopped on one foot, swiping at her pantleg, finally managing to raise it. Finding an ant, she moved away from the anthill she had disturbed with her gurney.

"What rotten luck! I'm somebody's food after all. Probably a fire ant too," Lucy grumped. She hated the tiny little menaces. Their bites were painful and left big red lumps. "What else can go wrong tonight?" she asked.

At last the ambulance sped away, and Lucy cautiously tugged and pushed the gurney over the uneven ground until she reached the back parking lot. Glancing right and left, like a sprinter in training, Lucy ducked low and prepared. Then she shoved the gurney hard in front of her, running, the gurney's wheels spinning crazily. Huffing and puffing, she started to feel dizzy. Still, she reached her goal.

Her victorious "Yes!" punctuated the night. With true grit, she had made it to the side of the building that was heaviest in shadows. "John Wayne, you'd be proud of me," she muttered as she stared at the entrance. "Now to wait for another ambulance."

She didn't have long. Within minutes, another ambulance had pulled up to the morgue, quickly and efficiently unloading its cargo and going inside, the glass entrance doors sliding open with a ping.

Lucy pushed her gurney hard, rushing for the doors. Glancing quickly inside, she noted that the security guard had again followed the ambulance attendants down the long hallway to find out all the gory details. Lucy had noted the guard's ghoulish curiosity earlier, after the first paramedics brought someone in. Campbell women had a keen eye for detail. After all, God was in the details—that and in cooking ingredients.

Shoving her gurney through the doors, Lucy pushed it quickly down to the opposite end of the hallway, where she settled the heavy metal stretcher. Lifting the messy sheet, she scrambled onto the gurney and threw the sheet over her body and face. All she had to do now was pretend to be dead, and they would wheel her into the main part of the morgue, right next to the autopsy room. Hopefully the ketchuped sheets would look like a bloody mess, and no one would be tempted to look underneath. Even if they did, she felt sure she could hold her breath for a few minutes. How hard could playing dead be?

More sounds came from the back of the morgue. Lucy listened intently, taking tiny breaths, hoping no one , could see any infinitesimal movements of the sheet over her mouth. She hoped she didn't hyperventilate. How inconsiderate of the paramedics and guard to keep yapping when she might do just that.

Finally she heard the other gurney being wheeled out, its wheels making a cha-chink sound on the worn linoleum tile, and the guard and the paramedics talking about the car wreck that had just claimed two lives. Suddenly Lucy heard them call a greeting.

"You here for the Jones autopsy, Detective DuPonte?" a male voice asked.

Lucy stifled a groan. Of all the morgues in all the world, why did the grand detective of the undead have to show up at hers? She supposed it was because Val had a nose for sniffing out conspiracies. Although her conspiracy wasn't important in the great scheme of things, it was still a conspiracy, which to Val would be like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Or red gunk in front of a vampire.

Remaining very still, Lucy held her breath as she heard him acknowledge the question. He then began walking toward the autopsy room, passing Lucy by.

Suddenly the footsteps stopped, only a few steps past the hallway where Lucy lay in wait. Lucy froze every muscle in her body, her heart pounding. Could this fiendish Don Juan of the undead hear her heart beating like a demented drum in her suddenly very right chest?

Four steps later she had her answer, as she felt the sheet being whisked off her. She didn't open her eyes, wondering briefly if she could just continue to play possum. She supposed things had taken a wrong turn at the condiment tray. Maybe she should have thought it through better.

Chapter Ten

Wash that Man Right out of Her Hair

"Merde." Val laughed as he yanked back the sheet. "What do we have here—Sleeping Beauty?"

Lucy kept her eyes firmly shut, wishing she and her gurney could disappear into thin air. Where was a witch's broomstick when she needed one?

"Well, well, cherie. First I catch you dressing like Elvira, now I find you playing dead in the morgue. Are you trying out to be undead, or just bored?" Val stared, wondering what Lucy was playing at. What was she doing in the morgue with ketchup smeared all over her?

He goosed her. "Rise and shine. And by the way, you overdid the Heinz."

Lucy opened her eyes, the color of her face a match for the condiment in her hair, and Val stared down at her as if she had stepped on his grave. Lines of concern twisted the corners of his mouth. As if she didn't know the gravity of her situation!

Standing directly behind Val was the security guard, whose eyes and mouth were wide open.

Blinking, Lucy sighed. The jig was up, and humiliation was once again her middle name. "How did you know that there really wasn't a dead person under here?" she asked.

Val leaned over and sniffed disdainfully. "How else?"

Foiled, and caught red-handed. And -bodied. And -haired. What wretched luck.

Getting to her feet, she pushed away from Val. "Your nose should be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Are you sure you aren't part werewolf?" she snapped.

She could see a slight grin tug at the corners of his mouth—a mouth she wanted to kiss. Hell's bells! Why couldn't she just forget him? She needed to wash him right out of her hair, along with about thirty gallons of ketchup.

The security guard was scowling at her as if she had stolen the Hope Diamond, and he finally put in his two bits. "You're the lady that pretended to be a doctor earlier." Glancing at Val, he added suspiciously, "Detective DuPonte, I've already had to throw her out of here once. You ought to arrest her for breaking and entering."

"Tattletale," Lucy groused. "And I didn't break and enter. The doors were open, and you weren't at your post."

Hands on his hips, the guard scowled. Pointing a finger at her, he glanced over at Val. "Then arrest her for impersonating a dead body."

Val chuckled. "That's not illegal. Especially here in the Big Easy."

The guard started to protest, and Lucy grinned. A wave of relief washed over her. She wasn't going to be hauled off to jail after all.

Val put up a hand as he noticed Lucy's smile. Whatever chaos she was up to, he was going to nip it in the bud. He said, "However, entering the morgue under false pretenses can get a person into big trouble."

This time, Lucy scowled and the guard grinned.

"Good. I've got a pair of handcuffs if you need them," he suggested helpfully.

Val shook his head, his deadpan expression revealing nothing. "Thanks, Max, but I'll take it from here." And with a motion of his hand, he dismissed the guard.

Lucy could hear the grumbling as Max stalked off down the darkened hallway. Glancing at Val's rather grim expression, and seeing the slight glare in his vampiric gaze, Lucy decided that fleeing the scene of this tiny little crime was probably her wisest course of action. She took three steps backward.

Val shook his head, his blue eyes dark with emotion. "Viens ici! Come here."

Lucy obeyed, took two steps forward, albeit warily.

"What are you doing here, cherie?"

"Would you believe my laundry?" Lucy replied. She hoped that humor would somehow defuse the situation.

"This isn't funny, Lucy. I can take you into the station for this. I probably should." She was up to her pretty little eyeballs in something, and he was going to get to the bottom of whatever crazy scheme she was hatching.

Setting her jaw, Lucy spoke with a confidence she was far from feeling. She held out her hands, her expression defiant. "Do your worst. Haul me in. Beat me with your nightstick." Campbell women didn't back away from danger, even two hundred pounds of mad, sexy vampire. Campbell women embraced danger, they ran toward it. Of course, Campbell women often had short life spans.

"I don't carry a nightstick, and you know it. Merde! I ought to take you over my knee and spank you, is what I ought to do."

"You wouldn't dare. I watch Court TV. I watch Law & Order." But she wasn't so sure. Val looked angry enough to dare anything. "You touch me and I'll scream police brutality. Big-time police brutality. I'll tell all New Orleans that you're a monster. A betraying brute who threatens helpless women with handcuffs and worse."

"Mais oui—yes, you would, wouldn't you? Do you see any handcuffs, Lucy?" he asked tiredly. His next glare was an exact replica of his last. Jeez, the vampire had no range of expression.

Lucy dropped her arms as he shook his head, and he said tersely, "You always were hysterical, and willing to embellish the truth. I remember when I flew to talk to you in San Antonio, and you stood on that balcony screaming at me. You shouted that I should be hauled off by Robespierre, and cursed me for peasant abuse—all when I haven't had peasants on my land in two hundred years. I remember you throwing a vase of flowers at my head and screaming obscenities," Val continued, visions of spanking that pert bottom flashing through his head. Baring that bottom, and then the rest would be… something he did his damnedest to forget.

"You deserved worse, you blood-sucking betrayer!" Lucy waved her finger at him, remembering more of her mama's sage advice: When verbally attacked by an irate male, deflect, deceive, and demand.

"You mistrustful malicious mortal," Val replied. His eyes glowed with the fires of injustice. Lucy made him angrier than any other female in his entire existence, and that was saying quite a lot. "Shut up, Lucy. You don't know what you're talking about."

Lucy glared at him, her hands on her hips. Anger flooded her system like the sugar from four too many Fig Newtons. "Don't you tell me to shut up, you two-timing satyr! Don't talk down to me. Don't act like I'm some blond bimbo you can crush under your feet like some rider-stomping bull longhorn. I expect your respect," Lucy shouted. "No, I demand your respect! And I want none of your irritable male syndrome!"

Val narrowed his eyes. "Irritable male syndrome?" What the hell was that? Well, he'd show her an irritated male, all right. "Merde. You're an expert in deflection and diversion for one so young," he admitted. He still needed to find out exactly what Lucy knew, and listening to his nether region crying out for a hot time in the old town tonight would get him nowhere.

No, he certainly shouldn't be finding her attractive—not in one of her temper tantrums, standing there covered in ketchup. But he was either sick or he had gone too long without mind-blowing sex. Lucy was the only mind-blowing sex he had experienced in over three hundred years, and she was driving him crazy.

"I never said you were a bimbo, Luce," he said with a sigh. "Stop the stalling techniques. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Research," she answered.

"For what?" Val had a sudden glimmer of suspicion that Lucy knew something about the incubus. Earlier today they had discovered the existence of another victim. Fortunately, the woman was still alive, and Christine was interviewing her at this very moment. Hopefully, when Val met back up with his partner at police headquarters, they would both have considerably more information to share about the youth-stealing monster.

"Research… for a show," Lucy lied, trying desperately to come up with some reasonable explanation to be here in the morgue. But it was hard with Val standing there so tall, dark, and handsome, with his unphony French accent. Campbell women could come up with a great white lie or two—or even three, if absolutely necessary—in any situation or circumstance, except where handsome hunks of the walking dead were concerned. Just because Val looked like some pirate out of a romantic fantasy, what with his sexy smile and that dimple in his chin, that was no reason for her to lose her old Campbell common sense.

"What show?" he pressed.

"I just knew you were going to ask that."

"Imagine," Val remarked wryly, his suspicions growing stronger.

Lucy glanced away from those beautiful blue eyes, thinking that Val should be declared a criminal, even if he was the city's ace detective. How beautiful he was. How tempting. She wanted him and didn't want to want him. She loved him and despised him. How typically Pisces.

Val thought Lucy looked tired and messy. But then, that was her—his ex-love who created mayhem and havoc wherever she went. Damn, how he wanted to lay her down on that ketchup-smeared gurney and sink into her hot, wet depths. It had been so long. But his body wouldn't have its way. He was stronger and harder than that.

"What show?" he repeated.

"A show about corpses," Lucy said.

"Corpses? What kind of corpses?" Right. What cock-and-bull stories she could come up with! He would give her an A for effort. He always had.

"Dead ones," Lucy explained, then turned to leave. "What else?"

Grabbing her arm, Val stopped her, his fingers and brain registering the warmth of her body and the smell that was all her—a bit wild, a bit earthy, and a bit like gardenias, although it was perverted by the pungent scent of ketchup. "What corpse show, Lucy?" And why on earth did he care? He should just let her go.

"None of your business," she snapped. That fired his ire.

"I'm making it my business."

"Oh, go find a stake and put it where the sun doesn't shine." Lucy yanked her arm out of his hand. Her skin burned where he had touched her. Her heart had sped up. She wanted to lean into him and kiss his soft, angry lips…

But she didn't.

"Tu es trop grand pour tes cullottes." He didn't have time to verbally fence with Lucy; he had an autopsy to attend. Yet here he was, savoring her temper and her words. He was a fool. A great big vampire fool.

She looked annoyed. "Quit spouting French at me and talk English."

"You're too big for your britches," he explained. Did she know or not know about the Ka? Val stared hard at her, shaking his head. At last he warned, "Stay out of the morgue. Stay out of police business, or I'll have you arrested. Keep that enormous and poky nose of yours occupied by staying home. I mean it, Lucy," he finished.

Jerking her arm free, she turned abruptly and walked off, seething. She was uncomfortable and sticky. Her foot still hurt where she had dropped the gurney on it, and she was beginning to get a backache. All she wanted was a hot bath, and then to be held and comforted. She certainly didn't want to be dictated to by some two-timing tick of an ex-boyfriend, especially one who had absolutely no right to dictate to her. "Oh, screw you and the horse you rode in on," she muttered, forgetting about vampires' supernatural hearing.

He called out after her, "Me? In your dreams. Luce. In your dreams! Though you can ask the horse yourself."

Damn, he was quick. Lucy felt herself blush, and not at his insult. No wonder he was the whiz kid of the New Orleans PTF. She was on TV, and a damned fine actress; she knew how to hide her feelings. So how did the clever bastard know that he still held a starring role in her X-rated dreams?

Chapter Eleven

Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to Love Vampires

The next night, the phone was ringing when Lucy unlocked the door to her apartment. Dropping her purse and kicking off her shoes, she answered.

"Hello?"

Her mom's West Texas accent filled the line. "Lucy, sugar, I just loved your show tonight. That wererat impersonator—he did such a good impression of Jimmy Cagney! And you were just wonderful."

"Thanks, Mom," Lucy said, sitting down wearily. She was tired, and still had to go out and make her rounds of the Overbite Bar. Not to mention that tonight was Friday the thirteenth. Friday the thirteenth might not be Mardi Gras, but ever since monsters had come out of the proverbial closet, this particular date was a big deal in New Orleans.

Yes, parties were thrown everywhere to celebrate the unlucky day. She knew the Big Monster Ball was being held at the House of Usher, just a couple of blocks west of the Overbite. Lucy had promised her boss that she would put in an appearance, as he still wanted her to mix and mingle with some of the more elite ranks of supernatural celebrities.

"I'm just so proud of you. Your show is better even than that Tonight Show," her mom remarked. "And Blade has those flashy big teeth, and all that black leather. He looks like some kind of vampire James Dean!"

In spite of her weariness, Lucy smiled. No way her show could compare to the vampire's. His cutting style, his awesome guests… Blade always had the most interesting preternatural predators. But then, this was what mothers were for, to value their kids above all others.

"That vampire is just too pretty for a man if you ask me. I wouldn't believe a word he says, since a girl can't trust a man who is prettier than she is. Pretty soon they start staying out late and showing up with lipstick on their collars, and it isn't even your shade."

"I know, I know," Lucy agreed. Val was prettier than she, and even though he hadn't had any lipstick on his collar that ill-fated night—he wasn't even wearing a collar—she had still caught him cheating, the promiscuous parasite. Hadn't she? His protestations flashed again through her mind.

"Do you have a date tonight?" her mom asked, drawing her thoughts away from the stark recollection of a nearly naked Val with that bloodsucking bathrobed bimbo.

Lucy pulled out a slinky green number that just screamed for sin and laid it on the bed. She planned to wear her matching bite-me heels, just in case she ran into Val. "Not tonight," she admitted.

"Are you dating anyone special, hon?" her mother pressed.

Hmm, Lucy thought, what an easy question to answer. How sad. "No, Mama, I'm not."

"What about that nice man on your show tonight? He was tall, dark, and handsome."

Lucy sighed in exasperation. "And hairy, Mom. He was a wererat. I date enough human rats as it is without dating the supernatural ones," she added truthfully, moving to run some bathwater. "He also had beady little black eyes."

"Oh, Lucy. What am I going to do with you? I want grandkids to spoil, and at this rate I'll be ninety before that happens."

Lucy shook her head. Her mom must have been talking to her sister, whose two married daughters had five kids between them. "Maybe someday, Mom. But right now I'm focusing on my career."

"That shouldn't stop you from dating!"

"All the good guys are gone—married or dead or something," Lucy snapped, tiring of being hounded. But her mother seemed unfazed.

"Don't give me that old song and dance. I know you. You've never gotten over that Cajun detective, have you? I know you don't talk about him anymore, but I remember how devastated you were when you caught him cheating on you. If the man hadn't been dead already, I'd have made sure he was! After what he did to you, my little girl—that supernatural skunk should have been hanged. I should have kicked his arrogant ass from here to Mexico."

"Mom, this isn't up for discussion. I'm over him," Lucy lied. Her mom sounded unconvinced.

"Lucy, hon, you need to get back in the saddle. Just because you've had a major spill doesn't mean you can't ever ride again."

But Lucy didn't think that was true. After riding Val and Val riding her six ways to Sunday, galloping off into the sunset for a happily-ever-after with some other man just didn't seem possible. Because—and this was a big because—when you've had the best, you couldn't try the rest.

"Look, Mom," she said, "I have to go out again on some business, and I need to get ready. I love you, and I'll call you on Sunday."

Lucy got off the phone and into her bathwater, but as she lay back, she thought about Val. Meeting and loving him had been like a wild hot wind had swept them up and tossed them into the eye of a tornado. And in the end he had been nothing but a heartache, a big old larger-than-life heartache that had taken her for one hell of a spin. "Fangs for the memories, Val," she grumbled.

Frowning slightly, Lucy soaped her arms. She'd suddenly remembered how Val was angry with her. Why? He was the lying, lecherous leech who had been unfaithful! She had been pure as the driven snow. But there was not the slightest doubt in her mind that Val was really ticked. Did that mean he felt slighted? Had he been slighted? She'd been thinking it earlier, and doubt reared its ugly head once more. Could she have been wrong in what she saw? Could he possibly have had a reasonable explanation for sipping on someone else?

Lucy sat up slowly, tiny droplets of water sliding down her back, making her shiver. Had she done the right thing in not listening to Val's explanation? Had she been hardheaded and stupid? Of course she couldn't have. When was she so stubborn?

Disgusted with herself, she stood up and grabbed a towel. Glancing into the mirror, she saw confusion staring back at her. Maybe she had been wrong.

No, she told herself. Maybe mountain oysters were really chicken livers, and cows jumped over the moon.

Chapter Twelve

Old Unfaithful?

As Lucy walked up the cobbled sidewalk to the House of Usher, she listened to the music that spilled out through the bars surrounding the old antebellum home. The structure had been renovated and turned into a club three years earlier, and it was now the hangout for the elite of the supernatural world—and it required a membership for all but special occasions like Friday the thirteenth or Halloween.

The music, rich and vibrant, was almost a living thing as it poured into the night from nearby bars. The air was fraught with sounds of zyedeco, jazz, and blues. Lucy loved that about New Orleans: the killer music and the mouthwatering food. Texas might be a state of mind, but New Orleans was a feast for the senses.

The inside of the club was cool and dark, and it smelled of incense and a hint of orange blossoms. A huge mahogany bar with brass rails stretched all along the ballroom floor. The floor was tiled in black and white marble, and couples were dancing and swaying upon it to a soft tune.

The club was packed to the rafters, and that made her search more difficult. Lucy sighed. "Everybody and their dog and cat is here," she complained. But she hadn't really expected anything else.

She spent the next half hour wandering through the house, studying the faces and looking for a creature with violet-colored eyes and a scar on one cheek. And perhaps she was also hoping for a detective with eyes the color of an arctic sea.

She also did as her boss had bade her do, mingling and mixing whenever she could with the elite of the paranormal world. After about twenty minutes, Lucy found herself chatting with one of the blues' undisputed kings. His name was Holiday, and he had a way with the sax that should be declared illegal. He was also a werewolf, the head of the Pirate Alley Clan. Maybe, just maybe, if she played her cards right, she could get him to do her show.

Unfortunately, Holiday had had too much to drink and was being a little too frisky for her comfort. As his hands latched on to her buttocks for the fourth time, Lucy tried to brush them away… only to feel a strong wrist and hand touch hers. Glancing back, she found herself staring into Val's face.

"Val!" she said, her heart pounding.

He gave her a look of angry disgust, then went about sending Holiday off with a flea in his ear about treating a lady with respect. Just seeing Lucy with the lecherous wolf made Val feel as if someone had poisoned his Bloody Mary.

Turning back to Lucy, he gave her a dark look. "What's gotten into you, cherie? Why were you letting that fur ball feel you up in public?"

"Letting him? A lot you know! I was removing his hands from my butt, you ass."

But he just gave her his inscrutable look—a look that had used to infuriate Lucy when they were going out.

He'd made it whenever she tried to make an important point that he felt was silly.

"I could have handled him," she growled.

Val nodded. "It sure looked that way. And he could handle you. Another few seconds and he'd have had your dress up to your waist." Val's blue eyes blazed. Seeing Holiday's hands all over the behind of the woman he'd once loved was bringing things to the front of his mind—feelings that were better left buried.

Glaring, Lucy pointed a finger at him, retorting, "I'm a big girl, Val. I can handle myself."

He saw the pulse beating rapidly in her throat. Once he had kissed that throat, bitten it. Her blood had been spicy rich, and he had never tasted anything so good. The thought made him angry. He was no fledgling vampire to be led by his emotions, by lust, but that was exactly what was happening.

"What were you doing with Holiday, anyway? Just because he can play a sax like an angel doesn't mean he is one. That wolf's a real dog when it comes to women. Strange, cherie, you used to have better taste." And you used to taste so good.

Lucy snorted. "I suppose you mean you?"

Val said nothing, just gave her a knowing smile.

The smile clearly made Lucy angry. "I know what Holiday is, and I wasn't flirting with him. I was just doing my job. My boss wants me to mingle tonight, to scare up some guests for the show."

This time, Val snorted. "Scare up is right—or dig them kicking and screaming up out of the grave."

"And just what does that mean?"

Val shook his head. "Well, you must admit your work's not 60 Minutes."

"It may not be now, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be if I got more serious-minded guests!" How dare he insult her show? Even if he was right—which he was—who did he think he was, judging her show like some Ebert and Roeper?

"No one of any importance in the supernatural community would be caught dead on your show—or undead," Val remarked.

His words hurt, because Lucy knew they were the truth. She'd said the same thing herself. And he not only knew it was the truth, but knew that she knew it was the truth. She knew her show could be better, and having him say so really cut into her confidence. She glanced away, managing to hold her tears at bay. She didn't want Val to see her cry again. He had seen enough of her pain.

Seeing Lucy's reaction, Val knew that his careless words had cut her deeper than he'd intended. He'd been through some bad, some truly sad times because of this woman, the heartache of losing her never completely dissipating. Still, Lucy had once been the light of his life. So why was he hurting her?

Touching her arm, he apologized. "That wasn't very nice," he admitted. "I've got my mind on a lot of things going down tonight. Friday the thirteenth is not a fun, crazy time for us cops. We're the ones who have to stop all the craziness."

Lucy nodded stiffly. She was glad for his apology, glad for the words, but his comments still stung. If only they weren't true. "You sound almost human," she murmured, not meaning anything negative.

"Can't have that, can we?" He grinned, much like his old self. She had a flash of memory, a flash of all the old reasons for loving him. "If I do anything human again, you be sure and let me know," he added.

Lucy smiled. "I guess you're working, then?" she asked.

"Unofficially," Val replied. "Now look, cherie, it's getting late. You should go home. It's not a good night to be out and about. Too many feu follets."

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head both in confusion and frustration, and Val couldn't help but think that she would be perfect prey for an incubus. Their paranormal senses let them detect those wounded in spirit, whether it be loneliness, desperation, heartache, or disillusionment with life. Lucy needed to go home now and stay behind locked doors.

"Evil spirits. Monsters on the prowl," he explained.

"Of course. New Orleans is a monster haven—or monster heaven, take your pick. But I've lived here two years and nothing bad has happened to me."

Watching Val, Lucy wondered if she should say something about DeLeon. If she did, would he reveal anything about the youth-sponging monster? In a perfect world, she and Val would be partners. But then, in a perfect world they wouldn't have broken up.

Feeling it was appropriate, she went for broke. "But, then, nothing like an incubus has been in town before, has it?" She waited for any sign of reaction.

It wasn't long in coming. Val cursed a Cajun blue streak, then drew her back into a shadowed alcove. "Mon Dieu! Cést une erreur."

Lucy gave him another irritated look. "English, please."

"You're mistaken."

She snorted. "No, I'm not. I know, Val. I know about the Ka."

He went even whiter than his usual vampire complexion. "How the hell did you find out? Who told you?" His suspicions had been right all along; this menacing mess of a miss had stuck her pretty little nose into something that wouldn't necessarily get it bitten off, but more likely aged by four or five decades. Mais oui, that pretty little nose just might get her a pretty little headstone in the not-too-distant future—or at the very least end up permanently wrinkled like a Sharpei.

"I can't reveal a source," Lucy protested.

Val shook his head, glaring at her. "Serena Stevens! I should have known. My partner told me Serena acted funny when asked if she'd told anyone else about her attack." He wished he had a switch to take to the broomstick witch for having talked to Lucy.

"This isn't The X-Files, and you aren't Fox Mulder," he told her. "Stay the hell away from this, Lucy. It's police business, and none of yours."

"Why haven't you told the public about it?" Lucy demanded, her mouth turning down at the corners. "Don't you think everyone deserves to know that a new monster is in town? That a kiss can kill you. That, if you get lucky, you'll only get a quick trip to Florida and retirement."

"We don't want John Q Public up in arms," Val said. "We need to avoid mob mentality, humans with garlic and stakes attacking every vampire in sight. So… if a leak comes about the incubus, I'll know just where to look," he warned her.

Lucy started to argue, but Val was familiar with her tactics. He stalled her by adding, "We're calling a press conference in two days to inform the public." He didn't like informing the public, because that meant the incubus would know his cover was blown, perhaps making him harder to track. In the worst case, the incubus would move to a different territory, making him impossible to catch. He'd have to work fast to catch the beast.

Lucy closed her mouth, appeased. The public was going to be warned. But that also meant a slew of bounty hunters would be on the prowl for the Ka, which decreased her chances of finding the youth-stealing critter first. She didn't like that possibility.

"Just go home and stay out of this," Val advised her sternly. He was hoping that for once Lucy would use what little common sense God had given her and back off. "No story is worth your life."

"I know what I'm doing, Val," she replied. "I'm not a beef-witted simpleton."

The look he gave her said different. "Lucy, with your record you will either have the Big Easy in a big uproar, or end up with varicose veins and and a berth in a coffin. You don't know what you're doing."

"I do so," she snapped. "I'm a qualified professional."

"You were a weather girl. Now you do a talk show that's the joke of the paranormal world. Chet Huntley, Connie Chung, or Barbara Walters you are not. So stay the hell out of this!"

Every word stomped harder on her pride. "I might not be fricking Connie Chung, but I'm trying! And just why the hell do you care?" she hissed.

Val leaned against a column, staring hard at this hard-headed, distrustful, misguided mortal. She had a suspicious nature, which he abhorred, and she was so unruly that she created anarchy wherever she went. "You know what, cherie? I wish the hell I knew why I bother. I wish the hell I knew why I care."

Lucy's temper, which had been a roaring blaze, did a slow burn and then fizzled out as the import of his words struck. Val still cared! But just how much? Reaching out her hand, she gently touched his arm. "You do bother. You do care. Warning me? That tells me something."

His deep blue eyes were smoldering, but he shook his head. "Trop retard." Lucy opened her hands, palm up—she didn't understand—so he went on: "It's too late, Lucy. Too late. You didn't trust me. You didn't love me enough."

"But I did, Val. Surely you can't believe I didn't love you. Why, I loved you like nobody I've ever loved in my entire life. You were my moon and my stars."

"Whether you did or didn't, it's a little late now. That's all spilt blood, not to be cried over. It's in the past."

Lucy leaned into his chest, staring up into his eyes with earnest intent. She could sense something new, something she'd never seen. Something she'd never allowed herself to see?

"Forget the past," she said. "I'm listening now. I really want to know what happened that night. I really need to know."

Touching a finger to her chin, he bent his head toward hers. "I don't want to talk about it. I can't forget that you honored me so little. Trusted me so little."

She circled his shoulders with her arms, and reaching up and drawing his head down for a kiss. The kiss was scorching hot, burning with need and fever. Lucy's insides heated up, too. She had so missed Val's lips on hers. His soft, hot mouth, and the way he made her feel inside—all melting and sugary. This was heaven: being in his arms again, his lips on hers after four long hot summers and frozen winters. There was nothing but this moment in time. She wished it would last.

Val wanted to lose himself in these sweet hot passions that were unique to Lucy alone. But he couldn't. He didn't trust her anymore, not with his heart or his desires.

Lucy was jerked back quite unwillingly into the present by the sound of Val's name being called.

"Ah, Val, I've been looking for you everywhere, and here you are. You said you'd be bored at the Monster's Ball, but you don't look bored to me."

Both Lucy and Val drew apart. Val looked a little uncomfortable, and Lucy was dumbstruck. It was her: the slutty, villainous vampiress who had vamped Val! Lucy hated her, despised her, wanted to kick her blood-sucking butt from there to Fort Worth.

The woman seemed amused. "Val—aren't you going to introduce me to the lady you've been kissing?"

Val looked put out, but reluctantly complied. He said, "Christine Armstrong, this is Lucy Campbell."

Lucy glanced from Val back to the vamp. She was dressed in a tight golden dress that revealed most of her chest and her upper arms. The female vampire was muscular, but in a feminine and curvy way. The name Armstrong seemed to fit. This viperous vampiress could probably bench-press Lucy at least twice over.

Still, Campbell women being Campbell women, Lucy wanted to deck her—or at least pull her hair out or something equally humanly fiendish. This was the home-wrecker! And she was still around Val, while Lucy was long gone?

Her gaze hot and furious, it raked over the vampiress and then back to Val. "Damn you to hell, Valmont DuPonte," Lucy said. "I almost bought your act. I thought maybe, just maybe, I had been wrong about what I saw that night!"

Lucy clenched her fists, her breathing tight, trying desperately to control the tears that were in her eyes and in the back of her throat. Once again, Val had branded her heart without even showing up for the roundup. More of her mother's sage advice suddenly rang in her ears: "If a rattlesnake bites you once, you're damned unlucky. If you get bit twice, your mama raised a fool."

"What a laugh!" she continued. "You made a fool of me then, and I'm a great big fool now. Foolish, the Queen of Fools. I hope you're satisfied, Mr. Two-timing Tick! I was ready to throw myself at your feet and listen to your explanations. If I had been wrong, I would have begged your forgiveness for being too suspicious. For not trusting you more. But you're still with this woman! How dare you? So I'm human, and evidently my poor mortal blood isn't good enough for you. So you cheat on me with this fang-faced viper? Well, Val, here's a big surprise: I'm proud of my human blood and my talk show. I wouldn't invite you on if you were the last bloodsucker on earth. So take that, you big leech!" And with those words, Lucy turned and ran off into the crowd, her eyes full of tears of hurt and humiliation.

Val and Christine watched her go, bumping into every person on the dance floor as she passed.

"She still loves you, mon ami," Christine remarked thoughtfully. With a girlfriend like Lucy, Val would be up to his neck in trouble trying to keep up with her. Which was perhaps just what her morose partner needed—a lover who would shake him up like a blenderful of margarita, and keep him laughing as the nights turned to years turned to decades.

Val snorted. "And that makes everything all right? She didn't trust me enough to listen to what I had to say. No, it's all blood under the bridge now."

"She would have listened tonight. She still will if you go after her," Chris advised, recalling the look of terrible pain in Lucy's eyes.

Val shook his head. "You can't have love without trust," he said tersely.

"Val, your love life since Lucy has been dead as a doornail. For eighteen months you tore everybody's head off like a rogue werewolf. Talk to the lady. Work it out."

Val growled. "Go stick your nose someplace it's wanted, and leave my love life alone," he said, and then he stalked off.

"What love life?" Christine called after him, shaking her head. The male species really was quite stupid at times, and quite stubborn. It was a good thing that females knew just how to handle them. Laughing, Chris dubbed herself the matchmaker from hell.

And she was about to do a little business.

Chapter Thirteen

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Lucy hurried outside the club and began walking back to her car four blocks away. Tears were running down her cheeks, along with a thin trail of mascara.

"Damn, I must look like a raccoon," she muttered to herself. She wasn't going to be doing any more hunting tonight for DeLeon. Val's latest deception had devastated her, made her fit only for the dogs.

Her high heels made a clip-clop noise on the sidewalk through the mist swirling at her feet. Behind her, she could hear someone's fast approach. She felt a twinge of unease at the hurried purpose of those steps, but, taking a quick peek behind her, she stopped suddenly, anger overriding her sense of caution.

"What the hell are you doing following me?" she snapped. At the moment, she didn't care if the female vampire wanted to have her for lunch; Lucy felt sure that at the very least she could tear out all the vampiress's lovely black hair at the roots. "Come to gloat?"

The woman stopped in front of her, shaking her head. "That was pretty stupid back there," she suggested.

"Thanks. I really appreciate you coming after me for an extra insult or two. What is this, some new vampire fad?" Lucy stuck a finger in the air, then pointed it. "Well, I can come up with a few insults of my own. You're a coffin-jumping, neck-licking, freaky-fanged vamp!"

Christine laughed softly. Then, seeing Lucy's hands clench into fists, she wiped the smile off her face. If she went and punched out Val's one true love, her partner might get a bit testy. "You've got it all wrong, Lucy," she said.

The mortal rolled her eyes. "Sure," she said sarcastically. "It's in a frog's nature to hop."

Christine blinked. "What's a frog got to do with Val?"

"It's the nature of the reptile—or the beast or vampire or whatever," Lucy ranted. "A cheater cheats."

Christine hissed at Lucy, angry. "Val would never betray anyone—especially not you. You've got it all wrong. Val and I aren't lovers. We haven't been for over eighty years. I'm just his partner in the PTF. I have been for the last four years."

"Oh, right. I'm too dumb to notice his fangs in your neck that night, and you both practically buck-naked! He was going at your jugular like a wino with a bottle of Thunderbird."

Christine shook her head. "It wasn't what it seemed. And we both had bathrobes on."

Lucy raised her eyes to the heavens. "Bathrobes! Well, I saw what I saw—and you're obviously with him tonight."

Christine shook her head. Humans could be so very… human at times. "I'm his partner. That's why we arrived together at the House of Usher. Duty and all that."

"Go on." Lucy felt a strange feeling come over her. Like she was being… stubborn. Stupid. Again.

"The night you dropped in to surprise Val, well, we had been involved in a werewolf pack rumble. Val took a silver bullet meant for the chief of the Lafitte clan. He had lost a lot of blood, and was replenishing it off me when you arrived. We were dressed in robes because we'd both had blood all over us, and had showered just a few minutes before." Seeing the doubt and disbelief in Lucy's eyes, Christine added, "I took a shower in the guest bathroom."

"You expect me to believe this?" Lucy asked, her thoughts whirling like a rider on El Diablo, the meanest bull in Texas. What if these things the vampiress said were true? What if Val was truly innocent? What if Lucy had been a world-class idiot, what with her lack of trust and refusal to listen?

"Why didn't he tell me?" she asked.

"He tried more than once. You didn't listen," Christine snapped. "You ripped out his heart better than any slayer ever could."

Lucy gulped, her stomach queasy. "I didn't mean to. I thought he was cheating on me," she said. She might have made a big mistake five years ago. She might have made the biggest mistake of her life, and then, like the world-class idiot she was, gone and done it all over again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think anyone who could treat him like that deserved him. He loved and cherished you, and you crushed him."

Lucy hung her head in shame. She couldn't bear to see the accusation in the other female's eyes. And… "Why tell me now?"

"I thought about calling you when you first moved here to the Big Easy, but after watching your show a couple of times, I decided you weren't the brightest bulb on the tree. But maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe it doesn't matter. Either way, Val never got over you, and he deserves to be happy."

Lucy's eyes glistened with tears. Her heart held a glimmer of hope. "You don't think he's over me?"

"No, I don't."

"Then why isn't he here?"

Christine shrugged her elegant shoulders. "Because he's a male vampire, and they do the dead-man-walking-away trick better than any other species. Because you broke his heart and didn't believe in him. Honor for a seventeenth-century vampire is everything."

"I have my pride, too—" Lucy began, but Christine cut her off.

"Pride is a cold bedfellow. And besides, Val is worth more. You know that."

Lucy thought over what Val's partner said, and Christine was right. Pride was pride, but good love was better every night of the week. Yet, was everything ruined? She had not believed in her true love's fidelity. She had martyred herself for her past, for her mother's past, letting the burdens she carried convince her to distrust everyone else, and to hurt them before they had a chance to hurt her.

"I've done Val a terrible wrong. How could I?" she whispered.

"Yes, you did a bad, cruel thing, and Val didn't deserve it. He's a wonderful, loyal, loving, and passionate vampire—a credit to our species."

Christine stared at her, and looking into those warm brown eyes Lucy tried to see within the vampiress's heart. "Do you still love Val?" she asked.

Christine heard the concern in the mortal's voice. "I love Val as a partner and friend. Yes, we were lovers, but only for a short while. Less than six years. Besides, I'm with someone, and I have been for the past twelve years. And I'm not giving that up."

"I don't know how to thank you," Lucy said with a sincere smile. Tears glistened in her pretty blue eyes.

"Easy," Christine replied. "By sucking it up. Go apologize to Val. Make him listen. It won't be easy."

But suddenly, before any more could be said, Christine tilted her head to one side. Lucy started to ask her what was wrong, but the vampiress silenced her with a slash of her hand, her mouth becoming a tight, hard line.

Handing Lucy a cell phone, she commanded, "Call Val. Tell him where we are. I think our monster has just struck… Hit one on the phone," she explained when Lucy paused. Then, when Lucy did as instructed, Christine took off running. Kicking off her high heels, she headed toward a back alley across the street.

After calling and alerting Val, Lucy took off after the vampiress. She was both curious and concerned, so Val's curses to stay put served no purpose but to ring idly in her ears.

The alley was dark and curving. Lucy could hear Christine's feet against the wet asphalt, slapping fast and furious as the vampiress ran.

By the time Lucy reached the end of the alley, she heard the sounds of a fight. The alley had an overflowing Dumpster and open stacks of boxes and smaller tin garbage cans, many filled with rotting fruit. A large single lightbulb hung above a doorway, illuminating the struggle taking place between Christine and another paranormal creature. On the ground beside the Dumpster lay a young woman.

Lucy ran to what was clearly DeLeon's latest victim and checked her pulse. From the light above, Lucy could see that the woman's mouth was bruised, tiny wrinkles radiating out from her mouth and eyes. The woman's skirt was hiked up, but her panties were still on. Had she been raped? At least she was still alive, even if she was unconscious.

The sound of someone being thrown into a trash can caught Lucy's attention. Glancing up, she saw Christine lying in a heap by the can and a tall figure with dark hair hanging in a thick fat braid to his waist. He was crouching down, ready to launch himself at Christine, who was shaking her head as if dazed.

Without really thinking, Lucy picked up a wine bottle and threw it at the creature's head, screaming, "Remember the Alamo!" It hit with a crack.

Surprised more than hurt, the creature turned to look at Lucy. In the dim light, she gasped and froze like a deer caught in the headlights. The monster had violet eyes—strange, empty dead eyes—along with really ugly reddish fangs. It was the Ka incubus in the flesh—and unfortunately, up close and personal!

What irony. She had been looking for the menacing monster for over a week, and here he was. She had found him all right, and he was just a tad irritated at her. Maybe she shouldn't have thrown that bottle of cheap wine at him. Maybe she shouldn't have drawn his attention to her. After all, she wasn't Superwoman or a super vampire. Maybe she hadn't thought her distract-him-any-way-you-can plan through completely.

What to do with him? Lucy was nearly in hysterics as the incubus leapt toward her. But again, her subconscious came to her aid, and she grabbed up a trash can lid and held it like a shield.

The incubus continued attacking, so Lucy hit him in the face with the trash can lid. She could feel it dent, and his weight threw off her balance. She stumbled into a trash box with the rotting, slimy fruit, and landing in the mushy and smelly things had her gagging and cussing while the incubus rolled away and came to his feet.

"You youth-stealing swine! You red-fanged freak! Why don't you pick on somebody your own size? Cowardly creep! You sidewinder incubus, you!" Lucy shouted, trying to keep the monster's attention on her instead of Christine. She struggled to her feet, slipping inside the large box as she danced around on rotting grapes, peaches, and bananas. Suddenly she felt like she was in a B-grade horror movie—but in Tuscany, complete with wine-making. "You life-snatching sneak of a skunk!"

DeLeon growled at her insults, reddish fangs gleaming a bright crimson and growing another inch. He blinked, wondering why this mortal female wasn't cowering in fear or crying for mercy. She was different than most humans… but still wasn't enough of a curiosity to keep him from killing her.

Lucy gasped. "Oh, yuck!" DeLeon really had a dental problem, what with those foul-looking fangs of his. No way did she want those things anywhere near her. She shuddered in revulsion.

Smelling her fear, DeLeon laughed and slowly stalked her. Lucy's plan was working. He had clearly momentarily forgotten in his anger that another supernatural creature was behind him lurking in the dark, waiting for the perfect time to strike.

"Hell's bells," Lucy muttered, maneuvering out of the trash box, large globs of smashed grapes and bananas on her clothes, peaches in her hair. As she stepped accidentally into another small box, it lodged on her right foot. Unsuccessfully she tried to kick it off, then gave up and began backing away.

"Hold on to your cowboy hats, you've found what you were seeking, Lucy, and this is going to be a bumpy night," she muttered to herself, not really thinking about what she was saying. How could she? This monster took a person's life without remorse. He aged women so he could be forever young, and didn't care about the wrecked lives he left behind.

"You're nothing more than a necrophiliac," she accused him. "And having sex with women until you age them to death? You ought to be ashamed! You amoral immortal! You ought to be rotting in hell, you chicken-shitted, troll-dunged youth-sponger! What makes you think you can age a woman, having her act like and buy purses like her mother forty years too soon?"

DeLeon halted in his stalking. He gave his prey another close inspection, reassessing his earlier opinion.

The mortal was a muddled moron, an escaped lunatic! Had she truly come looking for him?

Lucy smiled. Though feeling grim, she was also pleased. Her plan had worked. An age-old Campbell family strategy was confusion to the enemy. And behind him, in the corner of her eye, she could see that Christine had gotten to her feet.

"I'll make you pay for those words, foolhardy human," DeLeon snarled. He lunged at her, but behind his back Christine went on the attack. The vampiress's lunge caught him in the lower back. Unfortunately, while the tackle sent him to the ground, it also knocked Lucy back into the trash pile.

"Hell's bells!" she exclaimed. "I'm in the fruit again."

The sounds of shouts and running feet and the flicker of flashlights lit the alleyway behind them. Behind that noise came the insistent call of police sirens, still distant but closing in. Hearing this, DeLeon threw Christine off his body, slamming her into the wall, then he took off running, jumping the nearby chain-link fence as easily as if it were a puddle. A moment later he had disappeared into the hot, dark Louisiana night.

Catching her breath, Christine spoke up. She said brusquely, "Tell Val what happened. I'm going after him." And before Lucy could argue that the incubus was too much for a lone vamp to handle, the vampiress was gone.

Pulling herself out of the garbage, Lucy stood. The pounding footsteps and bright lights neared. Instinctively, she knew that it was Val running to her rescue.

She almost groaned. In spite of her recent fall, the box was still stuck to her foot. A banana peel rested on her right shoulder, along with smashed grapes all over her clothes and knees. Large gobs of fruit were dripping down the side of her cheek from her hair. She had always been told she had a peaches-and-cream complexion, but this was ridiculous.

Taking a clomping step forward, she wiped slimy juice out of her eyes. She was an unappetizing mess of fruit cocktail, looked as bad as she possibly could look… and yet she had never been gladder to see Val in her entire life.

Chapter Fourteen

The Grapes of Trash

Val ran down the alleyway, his flashlight bobbing, his movements fast, and he hoped his expression was a grim reminder to not mess with anything that went bump and bit really hard in the night. Lucy and Christine were in danger! His heart was pumping double-time in his chest as he burst onto the scene.

He saw Lucy standing slightly bent over, as if from a blow to the stomach. Her heart was beating a fast two-step; Val could hear it from where he stood. Once again, she was in the thick of things—covered in grape goop, a banana peel on her shoulder, and somewhere she had picked up a box she was now wearing on her foot. She looked like someone with a bit of a fetish for fruit, but otherwise seemed unhurt.

To the right of her, a young woman lay moaning softly. Good, Val thought, the victim was alive, and so was the lack-witted Lucy.

"Where's Christine?" he asked.

Lucy stared at him, then replied, "She chased DeLeon."

She took a step closer, the cardboard box clumping along with her.

Lucy wanted to throw herself into Val's arms, but his grim expression stopped her. Besides, she looked like a vegetarian nightmare. Despite the fact that this strong, handsome knight had come running to rescue the fair maiden, this was certainly no Hallmark moment. An insidious killer was on the loose, Val's partner was chasing him, she owed Val a big apology for her years of mistrust, and she looked like some sort of rotting fruitcake.

"How do you know it was DeLeon?" Val asked brusquely, moving to check on the other girl. Two more policemen had just arrived on the scene.

"Violet eyes, a scar… and the guy really needs some major dental work. His teeth are this really awful red, and they aren't as sharp as yours. They're kind of thick, and longer." She hoped she hadn't hurt Val's feelings by the bigger-teeth bit. Men were so sensitive over the subject of size—or at least her mother had always said so.

Val nodded, then motioned the patrolmen over, commanding the two officers, "See to the lady and watch out for Lucy here. Don't let her get into any more trouble than she's already in." He gave her fruit-smeared body the once-over.

"Wait, Val. Where are you going?" Lucy asked, her tone high and scratchy, revealing just how frightened she was. She wanted to cringe, thinking that she sounded like a scared mouse, some silly female waiting to be rescued. But then, she was a silly female waiting to be rescued. Lucy knew she might be able to handle some paranormal creatures, but a monster like a Ka incubus was big time.

Val looked grim as he replied, "After Christine. DeLeon's too much to handle alone. She could be killed."

"No need, partner," came a voice. Christine materialized out of the shadows at the back of the alley and added, "And I'm alive because Lucy here helped out. She drew DeLeon's attention away when I was down. He would have gotten me." Walking up to Lucy, the vampiress gave her a hug, in spite of the garbage hanging off Lucy's clothing and in her hair. "Thanks, Lucy, you saved my 'tite ole vampire butt."

Lucy hugged Christine back, surprising herself. This was the female vamp she had hated for over four years, the coffin-wrecking femme fatale! But she had been wrong about Christine. She had been wrong about a lot of things. Guilt was gnawing at her insides like a hungry mouse. She owed Val, huge.

"How's the victim?" Christine asked.

Val looked away from his partner and the princess of pandemonium over to the ground where one of the policemen had lifted the young woman into a sitting position. "She's okay. She may have lost a few years, but at least she's not dead."

"I don't think she was raped," Lucy remarked hopefully.

Val sniffed the air carefully, filtering through the smells of rotting garbage, urine, and dank decay. "No. She wasn't," he agreed.

"Good," Lucy stared at the victim, but she was secretly wishing Val would take her in his arms. She was wishing this was four-plus years ago, and that she hadn't been a major-league fool.

Christine moved closer, saying, "He got away, Val. He's fast. Really fast and strong. I followed him down the last few blocks of Pirate Alley, but lost him in the warehouse district."

Val nodded. "I'm glad you weren't hurt, and that you knew better than to try and apprehend the suspect by yourself. One vampire isn't quite strong enough for a Ka incubus!" he said accusingly.

"I had help," Christine protested. "I had Lucy."

"Ah. Lucy." Pointing a finger, Val turned his attention from his foolish partner to the source of his real anger. His voice taut with suppressed rage, he hissed, "She's a civilian. A chaos-causing, accident-prone civilian. Merde, Chris—look at her!"

The vampires turned in unison, staring at Lucy. She had been listening to their conversation in ire, tugging the box off her foot and almost toppling over. To think she had thought Val was a knight in shining armor. Hardly!

"Well, thanks a bunch, Val!" she snapped. "I might look like a tossed fruit salad, but I can take care of myself." And with that, she threw the offending box over her shoulder. Her eyes opened wide when she heard a yelp.

Glancing quickly back, she winced. She had hit one of the policemen on the head. "Sorry about that," she mumbled, busying herself picking her purse up off the ground. Reaching inside, she withdrew a gun and thrust it up in the air.

The second policeman went for his pistol. Val quickly stopped him, blocking his view of Lucy. "Just what the hell is that thing supposed to be?" he asked. "It looks like a water pistol."

"It is," Lucy replied, stung by the disdain she could hear in his voice. Four minutes before, he had desperately wanted to save her. Now he seemed to want to strangle her—a meddling, muddling mortal.

"You're running around the Big Easy with a water gun, and that's supposed to protect you?" he asked. "How easy do you think it would be for a criminal—or a paranormal, especially—to spot a water pistol?" He bit out the words. This daft woman was impossible! And why did he care? Just sign him up for the Dumbest Dick of the Year Award.

"I'm not stupid! Just because you think so doesn't mean I am. How stupid would I have to be to carry around a water pistol with just plain water in it? Pretty stupid, huh? Well, don't hold your breath." Lucy snorted, shoving the pistol back in her purse. "Oh, that's right. You don't have to hold your breath, do you, you big dead dufus!"

"Dead dufus?" Christine repeated, trying to keep a straight face. What a comedy of errors. Val was livid—and that really meant something for the normally stone-faced detective.

Turning to Christine, Lucy explained. "He's a dufus, all right, if he thinks I would try to scare a real live monster with a water gun. This contains holy water." And before Val could comment, she added, "I also have regular mace and laced mace."

"Laced mace?" Val couldn't help but ask. He felt as if he were watching a train wreck.

"Yes." Lucy reached inside her purse and pulled out a mace bottle. "This one has silver nitrate for shape-shifters and gargoyles."

"I see," Val said. And he did. Her down-home weapons would be deadly if used correctly. But with Lucy… "That's why they're still in your purse?" he asked.

"I don't understand," Lucy said, but Val cut her off.

"Mais, non. Of course you don't. Cherie, nobody ever was protected by a weapon still in their purse."

Lucy looked at him as if he was crazy. "I know that."

"You do? Then why are they still in your purse?" he persisted, certain she must see reason before he turned five hundred years old. Not that five hundred was too far off.

"Because it all happened so fast," Lucy answered reluctantly. Suddenly she saw where his questions were leading, and it wasn't down a primrose path or anything so sweet-smelling. Dang, the man was sneaky, and he could go right for the jugular when he wanted. And yep, he definitely thought she was a fruitcake.

"Right. That's why preternatural predators are called predators—because they're lethal and fast. Very fast, Luce. Too fast for humans, smart or otherwise."

Scowling at him, Lucy shoved her mace back in her purse and began to walk away. Her walk was lopsided, since she had lost a shoe somewhere. Her clothes were sticking to her, and she heard herself squelching as she went, peach goo dripping into her eyes.

Humiliating! She could feel Val's eyes upon her, just as she heard the sound of the ambulance siren head down the alleyway.

But then a voice called out, "Wait up, Lucy! I'll drive you home."

It was a command, and Val turned and gave instructions to the other police officers to secure the scene, then asked Christine to accompany the victim to the hospital.

Lucy halted, listening to his instructions, and to his domineering tone of voice, and suddenly she shivered. She remembered all too well that voice whispering instructions in her ear as they had wild vampire sex. Instructions about where to touch him, where to bite him, and just where he was going to touch her.

Oh, how she wanted that back. She wanted him back, even if he was a tad authoritative. Even if he drove her crazy sometimes with his protective instincts and the draining way he sucked on her neck. She sighed. Her neck was very sensitive, and nobody knew how to suck one better than a vampire. They were experts at necking. In fact, they had probably invented neck-sucking, horny, toothy race that they were.

Val caught up just as Christine called out, "Hey, Lucy, that battle cry of yours—remember the Alamo? I like it."

Lucy turned around and nodded slightly, her eyes a bit glazed. "Thanks. It's my grandma's saying. Her only saying, really. She says it when she stubs her toe, when she's hoeing the garden, or before we eat."

"You need a battle cry to eat dinner?" Christine asked in confusion.

Val didn't let her answer. Grabbing Lucy's arm, he began escorting her to his car. He answered himself over his shoulder. "Not really. Lucy's grandmother is just mad as a hatter."

Lucy punched him on the shoulder. Christine stood still, grinning.

"She is not, Val. She's just… a little eccentric," Lucy said.

Val sighed. "Cherie, the woman wears a lamp-shade on her head to commune with Albert Einstein." And then the darkness swallowed them up.

Christine chuckled softly to herself. Val had his hands full with this one. Lucy Campbell would lead him a merry chase, and such a mess couldn't have happened to a better vampire. She wondered what Mr. Einstein would say about it all.

Chapter Fifteen

Close Encounters of the Sexth Kind

Lucy lived two miles from the House of Usher, so the ride home was fast and filled with lectures about not sticking her nose into police business. She could have been hurt. She could have been killed. She could have chipped a nail. She could have aged thirty years—or, on the other hand, she could have skipped thirty years of income taxes. Still, police concerns and finding DeLeon weren't foremost on her mind right now.

She let Val's stern lectures wash over her, and she thought about how best to take the bull by the horns. She had to frame her apology for mistrusting him in a manner that he would find irresistible. He had to forgive her and take her back into his life; she missed him too much for him to do anything else. But wearing smashed grapes and bananas on her clothes and peaches in her hair wasn't conducive to groveling—not unless she was apologizing to a fruit fly.

Outside her apartment, being the protective old-fashioned gentleman and eagle-eyed cop that he was, Val escorted her to her door like she knew he would. She asked him to come inside for a moment. She noted that he accepted with reluctance, almost as if he expected some form of ambush. Clever vampire.

She stalled him from asking any questions by saying she needed a quick shower. Then, ten minutes later she was out of the shower and dressed in a robe. Val eyed her with both trepidation and a hint of simple male appreciation.

"Okay, Lucy, what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked.

"Us."

"There is no us," Val reminded her firmly—although he had gotten misty just a moment before while holding her hand. She had given him both the best years of his life and the worst.

"There used to be an us," she suggested, "which was a good us, a great us. Now there isn't an us, but that doesn't mean there can't be an us again. And a great us, not just a good us, because without us, I do okay and sometimes not even okay."

Val's eyebrows wrinkled and he stared hard at her.

"That didn't come out quite like I imagined," Lucy said. Romantic it certainly wasn't. "I meant to say, I'd like us to have a second chance."

"I thought you hated my two-timing guts," Val replied somewhat coldly. Not that his voice didn't always sound a bit cold, him being undead as he was. "At least I remember you shouting that all over San Antonio."

"I didn't mean it! You had broken my heart—or at least I thought you had broken my heart until I learned tonight that I'd broken my own without your help. I'd suspected I'd been a big ol' fool. Now I know for sure." Lucy began to wring her hands, knowing that she was messing up her apology big time, but she couldn't seem to help herself. It was as if some babbling idiot had taken over her body, possessing her and causing her to blurt out inane things when this conversation might just be the most important one of her life.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Val asked quietly, "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm sorry. I was wrong about you," Lucy finally managed to get out. "I am so sorry."

"Chris told you the truth about that night?"

Lucy nodded.

"You believe her when you wouldn't even listen to me." Val bit out his words.

"When I first saw you two together, I was too hurt to listen to anything. My worst fears had come to life. I just wanted to lie down and die," Lucy explained, her eyes pleading with Val.

"What kind of love can there be without trust? With a woman not willing to listen?"

He stood so remote from her, as if he were on some distant cliff a thousand miles away. She had to bridge that distance. She fell to her knees, taking his hand in hers and bathing it with her kisses and tears. "I'm sorry, Val. I was stupid and I let my past dictate to me."

Angered, Val jerked her to her feet. "Don't debase yourself. Don't…" His words trailed off as Lucy pulled his head down and kissed him with all the hunger she had shelved and saved for so long. His lips were better than anything she had ever tasted. His body was firm and hard with muscle. His erection jutted against her thigh, causing the heat already growing between her legs to intensify. She wanted him hot and hard and now.

She rubbed her body against him, hearing him moan. "I need you, Val. I need you," she whispered as she kissed his neck. Then she bit down, knowing that he loved such foreplay. But then, what vampire didn't?

He groaned. Lucy was so soft and warm, and his longing increased. He needed and wanted to hold her tight, to forget their past and to hell with the future. The traitor in his jeans was clamoring for Lucy's attention.

His hunger ignited, Val began caressing her breast, finally moving to take it in his mouth. He shoved her robe back off her shoulders. She tasted like the same wild spice she always had, and he wanted to lick and suck on her all night long. She made him so hot that he thought he would explode before he even got his jeans off.

As if she could read his mind, Lucy unzipped his pants, dragged them down his hips. He helped her, shoving them off his legs as she grabbed hold of his sex.

"I love your body," she murmured. "So big and hard. I love it when it comes into me over and over, the tightness and the heat."

The words shredded his control, and Val forgot that Lucy didn't trust him and had shattered his heart. He forgot everything but his need for her, because his body was screaming at him to possess her thoroughly and all night long. " 'Tite ange—my little angel."

Picking her up in his strong arms, he sped through the living room into the large bedroom at the end of the hall. Placing her on the bed, he followed her down, his lips sucking on her rose-tipped nipples as his hand delved between her legs. She was hot and wet with wanting him.

He growled possessively as he moved over her and thrust home into her hot, liquid depths. She climaxed immediately, and it took great restraint for him to not follow her. He gasped, "My jolie fille, your skin is so soft and sweet, like golden honey." He could not find words for his joy.

Lucy felt tears slipping down her cheeks as Val thrust into her body over and over, his mouth feasting on her breasts and neck. This was heaven to her—heaven lay in his arms. This was her man, and his loving was like hellza-poppin. She would never be the same. It was strange what a little moonlight, danger, and an apology could do.

"I love you, Val—oh, how I love you." Lucy moaned as she kissed his neck, rubbing her hands across his buttocks, feeling their strength as he pumped into her.

"Mon coeur."

"My heart," Lucy repeated back to him.

His eyes were tender as she spoke, her body taut with the upcoming release, her hips pumping in wild rhythm with his own. Her senses were so alive; and she was cresting high on the wave of a whirlpool.

The tension in Val built and built, cresting until his blood burned like a raging wildfire. Then, with a loud shout, he climaxed.

As he rolled over onto his side, Lucy stared at him and knew that if she lived to be a hundred years old, she would never find a more perfect example of the male animal, unless it was a werewolf. Val was magnificent in his nakedness, what with his marbled pallor and beautiful symmetry.

Sitting up, Val reached for his jeans.

"Where are you going?"

He glanced back her, his expression resolute. "I've got a murder to solve and an incubus on the loose."

Her eyes filled with confusion. "I know that. But our lovemaking was so wonderful, and you used to…" She hesitated as he turned away and zipped his jeans. "You used to love to cuddle afterward."

Val hesitated a moment, then spoke as if he were fighting some internal conflict. "This… shouldn't have happened."

Lucy was confused. They had made love, and it had been even better than before. Surely everything was all right. She believed in Val now. She would never distrust him again, and she had wholeheartedly apologized. "Why shouldn't this have happened?" she asked carefully, terribly afraid that his answer was going to crush her heart.

"Because we aren't a couple anymore, and we aren't going to be a couple."

"But why not? I apologized to you. I meant it. I love you. You must love me. At least, you made love to me like you do."

"I may still love you, Lucy. But love isn't enough." He pulled on his shirt and headed toward the living room.

Heedless of her nakedness, Lucy followed him like a rat terrier nipping at his heels. Val felt her presence behind him, smelled her sweet earthy smell, the aftermath of love. Yet he didn't look back, because if he did, he just might weaken and take her back to bed.

"Love's not enough?" Lucy shouted. "What is that? The slogan for Stupid-asses of America? If love isn't enough for a relationship, then what the heck is?"

"Trust." Val jerked on his jacket, feeling cruel. He could hear the tears in Lucy's voice, but he just didn't want to go through all this again.

"I do trust," Lucy wailed. "I really do."

"Tu menti."

Lucy snarled. "Oh, for crying out loud, speak English if we're going to fight."

Val turned to look at her, at war with himself. He forced himself to verbalize his fears. "You lie. About trusting me or anyone."

"What? Do your vampire powers now give you the ability to read minds?" Lucy snapped. "I didn't lie, and I mean it. Not about lying, about meaning that I didn't lie. I trust you. I really do. You should trust me to trust you, because I do."

Val's eyes almost crossed from her convoluted speech. She was driving him so crazy, he didn't know his right foot from his left—as evidenced by him putting on his boots incorrectly.

"You say you do right now," he said, "but wait until something happens that makes you lose that trust. Then where will we be, when you no longer are trusting because I did something that made you think I couldn't be trusted, but didn't really?"

This time it was Lucy staring at Val with a dazed expression in her eyes. He knew it well. He had worn that look often, whenever Lucy went on a rant.

Hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, he remarked remorsefully, "Merde, I'm beginning to sound like you! That's all I need."

Lucy took that cue. "What you need is me. Do you know that when you used to kiss me I could hear violins playing? Now someone's pulling the wrong strings. What you have is a hole in your head. How dare you lecture me about trust? You can trust me to know that I made the biggest mistake of my life when I let you go. You can trust me enough to believe in me. I will trust you, Val. Forever. I give you my word that I won't ever doubt you again. And Campbell women don't lie about something so important."

"C'est assez," Val muttered, his hand slashing down. "That's enough. This does neither of us any good." And with that, he opened the door.

"Don't go like this, Val," Lucy pleaded. She hated begging; Campbell women didn't. But then, Campbell women weren't usually stupid enough to get rid of the best thing that ever happened to them. "Forgive me."

Val glanced back once, then walked out the door. "I do forgive you, Lucy. But I can't forget. You tore my heart to shreds when you left me. I don't want to go through that again, not even for you."

The closing of the door was symbolic. Lucy felt as if it had slammed shut on all of her hopes and dreams of a happily-ever-after with Val, and only after five minutes of stunned bewilderment and a boatload of tears did she think of a few things she should have said.

Opening the door, she shouted, "Don't let the door hit you in the butt."

Her neighbor stuck his head out of his apartment and glared at her. Lucy glared back, unremorseful. She'd had to respond to Val's rejection somehow. Better late than never.

Chapter Sixteen

If Lucy Fell

Three days had gone by, and three nights, and the badass brownshoe of Bourbon Street still hadn't called her. No, Val hadn't contacted her at all after they'd made love, and while Lucy wanted to get in his face and yell at him, honesty made her curb her temper. After all, she'd been the one at fault. She should have trusted him. She should have listened to him at the very least, in spite of her very incriminating eyewitness evidence of his cheating.

Lucy morosely poured herself a glass of bourbon in a shot glass. Her show was finished for the night, and she was depressed—so depressed that she was sitting in the coffee room at the WPBS television station feeling sorry for herself. Logically Lucy knew that Val had said their making love was a mistake, but Lucy had hoped that after Val reflected he would realize he was wrong. She hadn't expected hearts and flowers, but she had hoped for a call to see how she was doing. Surely he missed her just a little bit.

So, she had been wrong once. So what? Lots of people in life made mistakes. Val should forgive her mistake, because make no mistake, Lucy would never make that mistake again. Not even if she saw him in bed with three vampiresses. She would now believe anything he said, even if he told her they were all just trying out a new mattress. Never again would she accuse the vampire she loved of being unfaithful or untrustworthy, if only the stiff-necked neck-sucking stiff would believe her. She had to get another chance!

He had called her "mon coeur" when he was making love to her. But if she was his heart and he was hers, how could they not be together? His comment "Love is not enough" was pure blasphemy. Love was always enough, presuming one partner wasn't being pigheaded. Lucy had to make Val see that the past was the past, and that the future could still be theirs.

Ricki the makeup artist came in, interrupting Lucy's pity party and switching channels on the television set. Glancing up, Lucy caught sight of Val on the screen. "Turn it up," she urged, surprised to see a reporter interviewing him.

Apparently, last night the New Orleans Paranormal Task Force had released information about the incubus. Tonight Val was telling what was being done to track down the monster. Lucy listened intently to Val's interview, frowning when he began to criticize the incubus, calling the creature's methods messy and unrefined, and hinting that the only way the incubus could "get it up" was to rape, terrorize, and age women. A little death really meant a lot of death with him. Val's condemnations were so harsh that any vampire would find them offensive, since vampires, even the subspecies, were concerned with prestige and power. And Ka incubi were even worse.

Val hadn't pulled any punches in his criticism of the incubus, which Lucy knew was totally out of character. He could be silent as a corpse when he chose to be.

Ricki shook her head. "What your detective just did is like sticking a hot iron up the ol' wazoo of that DeLeon."

"He's not my detective," Lucy answered, wishing that he were. Besides, Lucy recognized what Val was doing. He was making DeLeon madder than a snake in hopes that the youth-sucking creature would make a mistake.

"But you wish he was," Ricki remarked, knowing her too well. She tapped her long red nails on the tabletop.

Lucy grumbled. "I never should have told you about us." Yesterday, Ricki had caught her crying into her café au lait, and had poked and prodded her until Lucy had caved in and spilled the beans about everything.

"But you did tell me," Ricki crowed. "Finally! And a good thing, too. Broken hearts are too bad to be kept to one's little old self. We all need a shoulder to cry on. Although preferably a big strong male one."

Lucy shook her head. "Been there, done that. Crying, I mean. I about flooded West Texas with my tears last time," Lucy admitted. A gleam came into her eye. "This time, I think I'll try something different."

Noticing the sudden twinkle, Ricki laughed. "Hmm… whatever you are going to do to that handsome Cajun detective, count me in."

Lucy nodded. "All right. Let's go," she said, and she picked up her purse.

"Whereto?"

"I'm going to do a little old fashioned wooing," Lucy replied mysteriously. "At Val's house."

"Oooh! Sounds romantic! This could be fun!"

Two hours later, Ricki took back her words. "This isn't fun at all. I can't believe I'm doing this," she complained.

"Oh, hush," Lucy said, dusting off her Levis. "I said I was sorry you tore your pants. But you should have climbed up that tree and over the fence like I did, not climb the fence with those iron spikes on the top."

"Well, why does your detective have to lock his fence? Hell, why is his property even fenced? He lives twenty minutes from town. Who'd come all the way out here to rob him? Besides, he's a vampire! A crook would have to be crazy to jack a vampire. And how the hell should I know how to climb over fences? I'm a hair and makeup artist, not a two-story man. And what's with that 'Remember the Alamo' stuff?"

"Texas tradition."

Ricki shook her head in exasperation. "Thank God I'm from California. In fact, I don't even like the country. I don't like the bayous or the swamp."

Lucy had to smile. "This isn't exactly the swamp."

Ricki sniffed and pointed out the large cypress and oak trees lining the front of Val's house, which was settled back deep in shadow, only slightly lit by the half-moon. The trees were covered in gray-black pieces of moss, which swung like long feathered boas in the night wind. "That's moss, isn't it, and I can smell the bayou. It stinks."

"You're smelling humidity and lots of vegetation. There's some magnolia with night-blooming jasmine thrown in," Lucy volunteered. The scent was strong but earthy, combined as it was with the rich scent of decay. To her right, a huge magnolia tree stood, branches dark like shadows, silvery-looking flowers peeking from the darkness. The magnolia blossoms themselves, a rich pungent smell of sweetness, reminded her of warm southern nights and Southern Comfort in a glass. The South in a nutshell.

"So good to know that I'm keeping company with a botanist," Ricki said, stomping toward the largest oak tree near the veranda. Her flashlight bobbed up and down, the beam cutting through the shadows. "Let's just get this whole thing over with."

Lucy hurried to catch up with her friend, tugging her bag of ribbons with her. Reaching the oak, she pulled out the long yellow one.

Ricki had set her flashlight to the left of the massive oak, lighting the tree so that they could do their work.

Within minutes, they had a long chain of yellow ribbon winding around the trees.

"Well," Ricki admitted, getting into the spirit of things, "this is kind of romantic, and maybe just a little bit of fun. Imagine his face when he sees his trees covered in yellow ribbon. Just like that song!"

"Yeah, I hope it works," Lucy agreed. "I really miss him. I really need him." She sighed. "I may not deserve him, but I want him back. Because life without Val is an empty bowl—without cherries, without pits… Empty."

Ricki threaded the ribbon higher up the tree, but just then it began to rain. Large fat drops. "I spoke too soon," she said. "This is not romantic. This is not fun. I want to go home."

"Come on, Ricki," Lucy coaxed. "We've only got two more trees to do. What's a little water between friends?" She smiled, hurrying over to the next oak, and the salty smell of the rain filled her nostrils.

Ricki didn't answer. Before she could, something loomed up in the darkness behind her. Lucy screamed out a warning, swinging her flashlight around, highlighting the scene of horror. Ricki glanced back in time to see the Ka incubus start toward her, hands outstretched, long, sharp clawlike fingernails gleaming in the moonlight.

"Run, Ricki, run!"

But Lucy's warning came too late. Before Ricki could move, Lucy saw her grabbed by the monstrous DeLeon. A slash of lightning leaped across the sky.

Her heart crashed against her ribs in anticipation and sheer terror. A brave person would go help her friend. Strange, Lucy thought, she'd rather be a coward and run screaming into the night. But as she took a step backward, longing to run and needing to scream, her throat was too dry and she realized she wasn't thinking clearly. Where was the cavalry when a person needed them?

Ricki screamed for Lucy to help as the incubus bent his head toward her, and he caught her scream in his foul mouth. Soon Ricki was giving awful little noises. Those shrieks were what finally mobilized Lucy. She might be stupid at times. She might be accident-prone. She might not be the most trusting of girlfriends, but she would not be a coward and let her California friend end in retirement in the swamps of Louisana. No, she would go down fighting.

"I love you, Val—and remember the Alamo!" she yelled. And with that she charged, a yellow ribbon trailing behind her.

She tripped, which probably saved her life. Instead of charging directly into DeLeon's back, she ended up clipping him in the knees, knocking the incubus, Ricki, and herself to the ground. There they proceeded to roll around in the mud, name-calling, hissing, fangs flashing and so on, until DeLeon finally gained purchase on the slippery ground. Grabbing Lucy by her neck, he quickly flipped her over on her back and threw himself on top of her.

Ricki was frozen in terror, whimpering on the ground. Lucy discerned the words "gray hair" and "plastic surgery."

Staring up into the incubus's empty eyes, Lucy felt her future doing a flashdance before her eyes. She was going to be wearing support hose and dentures—if she was lucky. If not, tonight was her last night on earth, and Val hadn't come back to her. Dang him! She briefly wanted to take a stake and stick him where the sun didn't shine.

Yes, it was his stubbornness that had led to her coming here to surprise him. Well, she hoped he would cry over her grave, the stubborn dirt ball. If he had called her, she wouldn't be stuck mud-wrestling with this incubus. No, she would never forgive the fickle Frenchman for putting her in this life-threatening danger. Not unless he saved her with some sort of miracle.

Unbeknownst to Lucy, Val's house was being watched. It was all part of the plan to capture DeLeon, the plan where Val had given the interview on television, insulting the incubus in hopes that he could make DeLeon strike back at him. Now, as Lucy was contemplating all the mean things she was going to yell at him, Val and Christine were sneaking up around the back of his home. Val had gotten a call earlier that someone had climbed over his fence.

What greeted his eyes when he and Christine rounded the corner made him curse in French. Lucy and her dimwit friend! They were tangled up with the incubus, covered in mud from head to foot. Still, it made things easier, now that his prey was preoccupied.

Taking aim, Val shot the incubus with a stun gun designed especially for supernatural creatures of DeLeon's kind. In the background he could hear police sirens shrieking, closing in fast.

The dart punched into DeLeon's cheek. The incubus howled in anger, then a second later fell over sideways as the potent garlic and silver nitrate drug took effect.

Ricki was babbling hysterically. "I'm never listening to another idea of yours again—not as long as I live, Lucy Campbell."

"You'll probably live longer," Lucy agreed, her face as pale as that of a vampiress, her teeth chattering in shock. She shoved DeLeon's leg off, finally managing to stand on her own two shaky feet. "You saved me," she said to Val.

She was a muddy mess, with grass sticking to her in clumps, and a yellow ribbon dangling from her wrist. But Val suddenly thought she had never looked lovelier. He wanted to kiss her and strangle her all at the same time. He opted for something safer. "So sue me," he said.

Lucy's mouth popped open, and Christine knelt down by Ricki. The vampiress folded the distraught young woman into her arms.

"What the hell where you doing out at my place this time of night?" Val asked. His anger began to grow as he thought about the situation. Lucy, in her cavalier, chaos-ridden characteristic way, had managed to get herself almost killed by involving herself. "How did you know about the operation?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" She was filthy and she had scraped her elbows. Longingly Lucy looked at Val, willing him with her eyes to hold her in his arms and take away the weight of the world. The big ol' undead dufus wasn't cooperating. Didn't he know that she was one step away from hysteria?

"Why are you here at my house? Why did you climb over my fence in the middle of the night?"

"I climbed over the tree. Ricki climbed over the fence," Lucy corrected automatically. Why wasn't he walking toward her? "Why are you scowling at me? I… I could have been killed proving my love for you," she defended. That would be against everything you read in books. However, see if she ever decorated his stupid trees again!

Val was not convinced. "What? Love? Why are you here?" he demanded, his voice rising to an almost shout. Definitely unvampirelike, Lucy thought.

"I put ribbons on your trees." She pointed to the massive oak by the front door.

Val glanced at the tree, then turned back to her, his expression unreadable.

"Yellow ribbons," Lucy added, her heart in her eyes and her throat. She prayed he would understand. She had risked death and sacrificed her pride to show him that she loved him. "I'll always want you. I'll always love you," she said.

Val began cursing in French. He pointed a finger at the oak tree and said, "If that isn't the stupidest stunt you've pulled off yet."

Glancing at him in stunned disbelief, Lucy opened her mouth to tell him to just shut up when she suddenly felt dizzy and light-headed. She would think that she was going to faint, but Campbell women never fainted, not even in the days when it had been considered ladylike. The last sound Lucy heard was Val's "Merde."

"Oh, speak English," she mumbled. Then the ground rose to meet her.

Chapter Seventeen

I Love Lucy!

Lucy was sunk in depression. After Val's less than gallant rescue from the incubus, she had gone home and waited for a phone call. Two nights later she was still waiting, fool that she was.

Last night the capture of the incubus had been featured on all the major news stations, with Val and Christine prominent in the media frenzy. Lucy had watched with eyes filled with hope. Her hope was starting to dim as the nights passed by into misty mornings with no word from Val. It appeared that even if he still loved her, he meant what he had said about love not being enough.

"Earth to Lucy," Ricki said, prodding Lucy's shoulder. "Your hair is done and it's time to get your butt moving and go do your show."

Lucy turned misery-filled eyes to Ricki. "Val hasn't called, and I don't give a fig about tonight's show," she groused.

Ricki patted her shoulder in sympathy. "The night's still early, and how can you not be excited about tonight's show? I've never seen a naked mummy before."

Lucy almost cringed. Tonight's show was "Mummies Who Want to Join Nudist Colonies."

"Do you think they have to wear sunscreen?" Ricki asked. "I wonder what sort of SPF ratings they need."

Lucy gave up and got to her feet, letting Rick lead her to yet another really stupid show.

"I wonder if they're going to lose any body parts when they unwrap?" Ricki continued cheerfully.

As they got to the set, Lucy could hear the producer call out "One minute till airtime!" Sitting down in her chair, she was surprised that Ricki joined her, sitting in one of the guest chairs to her right.

"What are you doing?" Lucy asked. "And where are the mummies?"

"Change of plans," Ricki answered.

Before Lucy could ask more, the show began, and Val and Christine walked out onto the set and seated themselves on the guest sofa. Blinking her eyes, Lucy wondered if she was having a brain freeze.

"Where are the mummies?" she asked in a weak voice, totally dumbfounded.

Val hid a grin. Lucy had that look down pat. He loved it. Just as he loved her.

"Egypt?" Christine replied with a shrug.

Clearing her throat, Ricki opened the show. Giving a bright smile, she said, "There's been a change of plans for tonight. Detective Valmont DuPonte and Detective Christine Armstrong are here to tell us about the capture of the infamous Ka incubus! And they had a little help from yours truly, and from our very own Lucy Campbell."

The audience cheered, while Lucy sat in shock. Val was really here on her show, and he was smiling at her like she was the finest thing he had ever tasted. Forget the past and forget professionalism, she wanted to know what was going on with him. "You're on my show. You said you'd never do my show," she mumbled.

"Ah, cherie, how could I not be where you are? You're my heart—mon coeur."

His answer made her forget the audience, and made her forget her duties as host. "You forgive me?"

"I do. Appearing on your show is my way of saying I want you. My yellow ribbons," he said. After nearly losing Lucy to the incubus, Val had realized in his heart that his life would be so much less without her. He wanted to share his life with Lucy. He wanted to teach her about honor and trust. She would keep him laughing and happy. And he wanted that partnership to start as soon as possible.

Staring at him, Lucy felt her heart melting. "I thought you said love wasn't enough," she remarked.

"I was wrong." Val shook his head, his heart in his eyes. "I was a big undead dufus. I can't live without you. My crypt just isn't the same with you gone." And with that he went to Lucy, crouching down in front of her. "Isn't it obvious? I love you with all my soul and all my heart."

The audience oohed and aahed, and when Christine nudged him Val added, "By the way, that was a very nice touch with the yellow ribbons."

"You hated them," Lucy reminded him. But the quiet desperation had fled her eyes, leaving her the soft and luminous look of a woman in love.

"No. I loved the ribbons. I hated the fact that you put yourself in danger," he remarked. Drawing her to her feet, he held her in his arms. Lucy felt warmer than she ever had. Happier.

"Oh, Val. I love you too." Her words were barely audible, and Val stole her breath with a passion-filled kiss.

The audience hooted and hollered, and Christine smiled merrily.

Ricki's grin grew from ear to ear. "For those of you who missed the opening," she joked, "I want to thank you for tuning in to the 'I Love Lucy' show." When Val and Lucy's heated kiss continued, Ricki did as well. "As you can see, these two lovebats are going to fly happily-ever-after off the set and into the night."

Christine laughed, watching fondly the fiery kiss between the couple. "I think this show will be a hard act to follow," she said.

Ricki agreed.

When the kiss finished, Lucy's sigh was pure bliss. She had gotten her second chance at happiness, and Mr. Moody was surely in ratings heaven. "Oh, Val—I love you. I've missed you so. And again, I'm so sorry."

Ricki piped up, saying to Christine, "I bet she'll just be living for sunsets."

Leaning over, Val whispered to her provocatively, "We never did get to have make-up sex."

Lucy got a gleam in her eye, and she grabbed his hand. "Let's go. Sunrise is in nine short hours."

Val threw back his head and laughed, and the two ran from the set to the sound of thunderous applause.

Content

Minda Webber
Lucy and the Crypt Casanova

Acknowledgments

Chapter One Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind

Chapter Two The Lucy Show

Chapter Three Close Encounters of the Cheating Ex Kind

Chapter Four The Ex-Girlfriend's Grudge

Chapter Five Look Who's Talking

Chapter Six Marvin's Voodoo Room

Chapter Seven Hank Williams had it Right

Chapter Eight I Used to Love Lucy

Chapter Nine Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

Chapter Ten Wash that Man Right out of Her Hair

Chapter Eleven Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to Love Vampires

Chapter Twelve Old Unfaithful?

Chapter Thirteen Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Chapter Fourteen The Grapes of Trash

Chapter Fifteen Close Encounters of the Sexth Kind

Chapter Sixteen If Lucy Fell

Chapter Seventeen I Love Lucy!