Frank Harris

My Life And Loves, vol 5

PREFACE (by Maurice Girodias)

This fifth volume of Frank Harris's memoirs has a history which must now be made public, although I cannot do so without admitting to a feat of truancy dramatically opposed to publishing ethics.

I have recounted elsewhere the unfortunate phase of my career when I lost my first publishing firm, in which the remains of the Obelisk Press had been incorporated. My father, Jack Kahane, had bought the publishing rights of My Life And Loves from Frank Harris in the early Thirties and since then the four volumes put out by the Obelisk Press had enjoyed a large and steady sale.

Many years later, after the Obelisk Press had become the property of my powerful rivals, Hachette-much against my will-they went on printing and selling My Life and Loves year after year.

I had first read the book when a boy, and I had been impressed by the ludicrous cheek of the little Irish adventurer. I was elated by his treatment of the reader, the half-amused, half disguised unconcern with which he fed his cock-and-bull stories to the gullible. The large layers of sexy episodes came between rich slices of literary and political souvenirs with model regularity; the cocksure, vulgar tone of the recital was quite wonderful. And yet, Harris had certainly been a sincere and courageous man in his own funny way. He had some generous ideas, and he had been a plucky fighter when it came to defending some rather interesting causes; alas, self-adulation had prevented him from being quite the universal hero he fancied himself to be in literature, sex, or politics. But he is certainly responsible to a large extent for the invention of modern journalism, whether he should be thanked for that or not.

When I started the Olympia press in competition with my ex-publishing firm, the Obelisk Press, I remembered that my father's contract with Frank Harris had contained a mention of a fifth volume to be added at a later date to the famous first four, but that Harris's death had brought an end to that project.

However, I decided to investigate and I went to see a lawyer who represented the interests of Harris's widow. He was a tiny old gentleman by the name of Adolph, living in a crepuscular apartment in the frugal fashion typical of the bourgeoisie of old. I crashed into several chairs on the way to his office as there was strictly no light, electric or otherwise, in the hall; then he prudently guided me to a chair and went to sit behind his desk. Gradually my eyes became used to the deep night and I began to perceive his frail contours. Then the uncanny negotiation began.

“Madame Nellie Harris”, he explained, “is aware of your interest, but she values her husband's work very highly, and particularly that last unpublished book of his. Up to now she has refused even to envisage letting it be published…. But now she is a very old lady, and perhaps I might use my influence on her to try to persuade her to change her mind. However, I am aware of the fact that your former business has been taken over by La Librairie Hachette and that you have now started a new company with very limited means..

… In those conditions we would require a rather substantial advance from you, young man, you must realize that.”

I quoted a figure which I immediately knew was much too ridiculously high: 400,000 francs. I did not have the money, of course, but we would see about that later. The little man seemed pleased for the time being and made a few sniffing noises. Then I asked when I could see the manuscript.

“Ah, I expected that sort of question, young man”, he retorted with mild impatience, “but why would you want to see that manuscript? You have just made an offer without having seen it: if I gave it to you to read now, what difference would that make? Your papa published the first four volumes of Monsieur Harris's world famous work, and I venture to say that he found that to be a profitable venture; and I daresay profit is also what you have on your mind, eh? So I must regretfully conclude: no, you cannot see the manuscript. But I promise to write to Madame Harris and plead your cause.”

Listen to the old bird, I told myself; and felt like stealing his shawl and running away. Instead of which I stood up, bowed in the dark, and somnambulistically departed. A few days later I received a note from Mr. Adolph, who never used the telephone, asking me to visit him as he had an important communication to impart.

I had been five minutes late at our first interview and I had discovered that the old man had been standing behind his door since the appointed time and had waited there for the bell to ring. This time I arrived two minutes early to save him the trouble, and I rang the bell for two minutes before he opened the door. I was engulfed once more into the internal shades of his apartment, but I just had time to take in the discoloured pupils, the shaky pince-nez and the old-celery skin.

“Madame Harris”, he declared with a tone of ominous satisfaction, “has not reacted too badly to your proposal, my dear monsieur, but she is of the opinion that it would be rather unseemly to entrust the publication of her husband's book to a young publisher like you without surrounding herself with all the proper guarantees. Furthermore, she has instructed me to inquire whether La Librarie Hachette not be interested in purchasing those publishing rights themselves, eh…. Well, I have approached the firm and they did not hesitate to offer 600,000 francs. so, I regret to say that the book will go to them…. Unless of course you can make a better offer yourself… And when I say a better offer, I mean a much better offer. Because if such an illustrious publishing house as La Librairie Hachette offers fifty per cent more than you, what should I conclude?… Firstly, no doubt, that you were trying to take advantage of Madame Harris's good will. And secondly, that in view of your desire to make substantial profits, that property should be worth much to you than what you have offered, eh?”

That tirade was delivered in a tiny, gasping voice. I asked if Hachette had seen the manuscript.

“My dear young man”, Mr. Adolph retorted with finality, “I do not consider it convenient to answer that question. but I do understand that in your strained circumstances it will be impossible for you to do better than La Librairie Hachette.”

“Not at all”, I countered, “I am ready to pay one million francs. Now, do I see the manuscript?”

He chuckled softly. “Not so hasty, not so hasty, my dear young Monsieur. Madame Harris will no doubt approve me if I tell you that once we have signed a contract and received the agreed advance, then you can have the manuscript. First you pay, then…”

“All right”, I interrupted. “When do we sign?”

“Ah, that is another question. First of all, does Madame Harris accept your new offer? I have to ask.”

At the next interview, he told me a little sheepishly that Madame Harris had said yes. I interpreted that as Hachette had been approached again but had said no. I was nearly sorry to see that the deal was working out. I had no idea where to find all that money. And that unseen, untouchable manuscript was fishy in the extreme.

However, I was interrupted in my daydreaming by the old man who was saying in a surprisingly clear voice: “But if I have so aptly defended your cause to Madame Harris, you must understand that I have done so only because I always like to help young people like you and encourage them in their undertakings. I am an old man, as you can see, and I do those things with no thought of reward. In your case I will content myself with 5 per cent of the agreed sum-to be added to that million francs, naturally.”

It took me two weeks and some rather rather demented manoeuvring to raise the ransom, and when I saw my old friend for the last time, he had lighted a candle on his desk to facilitate the perusal of contracts, the signing thereof, and the accounting of banknotes. that gave an extra-ghostly appearance to the room, revealing the appurtenances of witchcraft: tall coffin-like furniture, musty clocks and a few ancient cobwebs.

When the ceremony was completed he opened a drawer slowly and fished out a slim package which he handed to me: “that is the manuscript”, he asserted.

Stifling the beginning of a hysterical laugh, I took the so-called manuscript and sprang out of the room and into the healthy youthful street, peopled with vigorous cats and dogs. The manuscript was made up of a few sheafs of typed pages, yellowed by time; they were drafts of articles written by Harris for various bygone periodicals. He had no doubt put them aside to be incorporated into that projected fifth volume, but had never gone any further into the matter.

Never mind, I reasoned, I knew it all the time; and took a cab to Rue de Sabot to talk things over with Alex Trocchi. We decided that that fifth volume of Monsieur Frank Harris's world-famous memoirs should be made into a really sumptuous work of art, to make Monsieur Harris's name even more illustrious. Alex was madly excited by the very idea of it. We rehearsed a few harris idiosyncrasies: Never to write: she said in a dialogue, but always: she cried, etc.

When the brand new fifth volume was delivered about ten sleepless days and nights later, tingling with sex and fun, I felt that Frank Harris himself would have been proud of it. I have always held that versatility is one essential ingredient of literary genius, and Alex had administered the proof, in lightning fashion, that he was able to do just anything with perfect grace and power. Even the odd twenty per cent of real Harris derived from Monsieur Adolph's time-stained papers appear rejuvenated and revitalized in that new context.

Since those happy days, the first four volumes have come out in the clear. after nearly forty years of Continental clandestinity, they were brought out first in New York, and then in London, in line with the habitual procedure. Their publication was presented to the public with austere guarantees, in an atmosphere of professorial dignity presumably meant to accredit the notion that My Life and Loves is one of the greatest works of literature in modern times to have been saved from the barbarian censors. I think not: Harris was a self-confessed fraud and nobody of sane mind has ever taken those memoirs of his seriously, apart from a few English schoolboys who may have been inspired in their daydreaming by the erotic resources they offered.

But the book itself has a charm which is attached to the period and people described; and Harris himself, a Renaissance hero wearing Queen Victoria's corsets, has created a wonderfully bombastic image of his own person which is certainly worth preserving. And that's where Trocchi's exercise achieves greatness, as comedy and character impersonation: he gives Frank Harris the dimension of a myth.

I dare the most sombre reader to resist total hilarity while going through this Fifth Volume, and not to expostulate after only a few pages, with the accents of one of Harris's lovely victims: “Oh! I can't stand it. Oh! Stop please or I shall go mad. Oh! Oh! Oh!”

CHAPTER I

Early in this century when I was about 45, I made up my mind to go around the world again as I had done twenty-odd years before and study those parts of itIndia, China and Japanwhich I had missed before. By this time in my life I realized distinctly that I liked young girls more than I ought to like them. The girlish form before the characteristics of sex become mature attracts me intensely.

One evening in London, a friend advised me to visit India, assuring me that my peculiarity was dominant there. I started for India determined to see all there was to be seen and, if my friend was indeed correct, to indulge myself whenever the temptation became overpowering.

Going through the Red Sea in September, the heat was terrific; the women passengers for the most part chose to sleep on deck in armchairs and, as the temperature rose, their clothing grew slighter and slighter. I had got to know a Mrs. Wilson and her daughter of eighteen going out to join the husband and father, a civil servant in Bombay. Mrs. Wilson was pretty, well-read and enthusiastic about my writings, with which she was familiar. The girl, Winnie, was far prettier with an adolescent figure on the verge of womanhood and the loveliest dark brown eyes. I thought her almost a perfect beauty, with her girlish outlines and entrancing face. How to win her! Naturally I began by paying attention to her and dispensing compliments of all sorts at every opportunity. I found she loved music, so I talked to her of Wagner and Liszt for an hour at a time. One day I stated the thesis that perfect beauty such as hers must be the outward and visible sign of a perfect soul. “You must live up to it,” I said, “and in ten years you will be famous. You will make all men adore you. We all long for perfection and never find itit is the passion of the soul.”

We soon became friends, till one day Mrs. Wilson took me to task: “You are turning Winnie's head,” she said, “and it really isn't fair of you.”

“I shall do her no harm, I promise you,” I said. “I only tell her she must make her spirit as perfect as her face.

“She is pretty, isn't she?” said the mother.

“A charming girl,” we both agreed. All the while I was thinking about how I could win her. More specifically, I was scheming how I could fuck her. There was nothing I wanted more than to plunge my throbbing cock into her tight little receptacleto feel her moving beneath me as I shuttled in and out until she screamed for me to stop. I could imagine how my swollen shaft would stretch her pussy lips and how the grasping walls of her sheath would feel as I penetrated inch by inch. I wanted to bury myself in her until my balls slapped her upturned buttocks with each ramming stroke. I determined I would make my fantasy real, for I could not long endure the demands of my painfully hardened pole.

Our cabins were on the same floor. Due to the thinness of the walls, I often heard Winnie's girlish voice raised in conversation with her master. Once I even heard Winnie complaining that she had to wait for her bath. A thought immediately flashed through my mind and I called the steward, gave him a liberal tip, and asked him to speed up the stewardess and get her to tell me when the bath was ready. In a quarter of an hour the stewardess, quite an attractive woman herself, told me that the young lady's bath was ready.” I gave her a good tip and begged her to keep hot towels for the girl when she emerged; she promised eagerly, showing that tips of gold coin were scarce. I went to the neighboring cabin, tapped at the door and told Winnie that her bath was ready, disguising my voice as I spoke. Then I fled back to my room.

In five minutes the stewardess came to me. “If you'd like to see her,” she said in a whisper, “I can show her to you.”

“Really?” I cried. “I'd like nothing better.” I followed her to the adjacent bathroom where through a knothole one had a complete view of the bath and the pretty bather.

“Go in,” I whispered to the stewardess after feasting my eyes for a while. “Go in and help her to dry herself and show me all her beauties, even the most secreteverything. I'll pay properly.”

The stewardess smiled, went in, and began to soap Winnie's back, keeping her front towards my knothole. She had delicious breasts, large, full, and free of the effects of gravity. Her nipples were large and covered the end of each delectable globe. These buds were now fully erect from the chill in the cabin. Then after putting a big towel about her shoulders, the stewardess made her put up one leg at a time to get her feet dried. As Winnie stood with a foot on the edge of the bath, I thought I had never seen anything lovelier. The blood burned in my cheeks. As curve after subtle curve was revealed, I grew wild with desire to touch and kiss. My cock stiffened from my almost uncontrollable desire to bury myself in her slit. The pretty stewardess played her part to perfection. While she dried the right leg, she drew it apart so that the whole of Winnie's cunt was exposed to my eyes. Just as I thought I could stand no more, she began patting those puffy pink lips very gently with the towel before helping Winnie out of the bath and beginning to dry the other leg.

“You have never been touched there,” she said to the girl, and suited the action to the word.

“No, indeed,” said Winnie. “Mama took me away from school because one of the mistresses liked me too much and often expressed an interest in inserting her fingers into my cunny.”

“Oh well,” said the stewardess, “one of these days some man will have a treat, for I have never seen a prettier form.”

And she was right. Winnie's body was superlativeperfection perfected

“The gentleman who asked that I administer your bath,” the clever stewardess went on, “is in love with you, I guess.”

“Really?” exclaimed Winnie flushing a little. “Who might he be?”

“Well, we all like him,” said the stewardess. “He's the best tipper on board. Take my advice: Be nice to him. You won't regret it. In fact, he's in the cabin next to yours.”

This time I was sure Winnie flushed with pleasure. “I like him too,” she said simply and began looking for her bathrobe.

In two minutes I was back in my room. As she passed I opened the door: “Had a good bath?” I said smiling.

“Excellent,” said Winnie passing with the bath towel still about her.

I drew a piece of the neck open. “I wish I could see your figure,” I cried. “I'm sure you are lovely.” Her brows drew together in a little frown, so I just stooped and kissed her hand and she ran on.

While I was thinking it all over, I recalled a little black spotprobably a birthmarkhigh upon her right buttock. Suddenly it occurred to me I could use this knowledge to break down her modesty. I resolved to try on the morrow. Of course I rewarded the stewardess as soon as we met and she told me without beating about the bush that there was a girl in the steerage at least as pretty as Winnie.

“Shall I bring her up and give her a bath, sir? She'd be glad to come, I'm sure.”

“All right,” I said. “There's no hurry for a day or two. I'll let you know.”

Next day, while walking the deck with Winnie, I told her I had had a great dream: “You came to me,” I said, “just as you were after the bathnude.” She pouted half in disbelief, half in disdain. “If I tell you something about yourself that I couldn't know,” I went on, “will you believe me and show yourself to me as in my dream?”

“I won't promise,” she said, “but I want to hear what you saw.”

“You have a little back mole there,” I went on, touching the right side of her hip, “and I want to see it, it's so cute!”

“I haven't,” she cried.

“Look when you undress tonight and you'll see I'm right.”

After lunch we were seated in the shade when she suddenly said: “You're right: there is a mole. I couldn't wait until tonight, so I looked. But how did you dream so exactly? That puzzles me.”

“Great affection,” I began as if musing, “has strange powers. I saw you, your luscious full breasts and your figure, all of it, every hair as clearly as if you were undressed before me now. Someday you'll let me see you, won't you?”

“I don't know,” she replied. “You're a strange man, “but you interest me greatly. Why do you want to see me?”

“Your beauty intrigues me; surely you know that.” How could I tell her that I wanted to fuck her, that I wanted to wedge my stiff rod in her virgin slit?

“Men are funny creatures,” she began. “If I could dream like you do, I'd want to see your heart, to know whether you really care for me. I don't think the body is important.”

“Love is not born full-grown,” I replied. “It has to be won!”

“How? Tell me how!” she cried.

“Chiefly by giving of yourself,” I cleverly answered. And so the talk went on.

Next morning, as she came from the bath, I met her as before. When she smiled at me I drew her resolutely into my cabin and closed the door. “Show me,” I said, “please.” I drew her bathrobe from her neck. Luckily it slipped from her hand and fell right open.

I had one good look at her tits and muff, but Winnie at once pulled it together protesting, “That's unkind. I don't like that. Please let me go.” She spoke angrily so I opened the door with a mumbled apology and let her go, a little disappointed.

Five minutes later the stewardess knocked at my door and I gave her another sovereign almost mechanically.

“Thank you, sir, many thanks,” she said. “Might I say something?” she asked.

“Certainly,” I replied. “What is it?”

“Those young girls,” she went on, “they give themselves airs. They know nothing really. Take my advice, sir, leave Miss Winnie alone for a day or two; let her see you with Ethel Dodge of the second cabin, and she'll soon repent and change. Nothing like a bit of jealousy to make a girl kind,” she smiled. “Miss Winnie there thinks you belong to her and must do whatever she wishes. Even if she protests your, ah, special attentions,” she emphasized, “it's all part of her game. Once she sees you like another girl and the other likes you, she'll alter her tune, believe me.”

“I believe you,” I said, “but when can I see Miss Dodge?”

“Tomorrow, sir,” she said. “I've given her a bath and told her you were paying and she wants to thank you. She has a prettier figure than Miss Wilson if I'm a judge, even fuller and rounder; but you can see for yourself, if you like. I'll tap at your door tomorrow early; the knothole is still there,” she laughed.

“You are a wonder,” I said. “All right then, I'll expect you about eight tomorrow morning and I'll tell you what I think of Miss Dodge.”

“Let her come to your cabin afterwards, to thank you,” said the cunning stewardess, “and let Miss Wilson hear you together. I'll give her a hint that she'll lose you if she doesn't take care. I guarantee you'll have no more trouble.”

“You are a magician,” I applauded her. “Conduct the campaign as you think best and take this for your pains.” I gave her a five pound note.

“Thank you, sir, thank you,” she cried.

“That's only the beginning,” I said. “If you succeed, well, we've a few more days of generous 'thank-yous' to come.”

“You'll have 'em both, sir, trust me. You'll be plowing those fields before you think on it.” And she vanished, smiling, through the door.

The next morning I saw Ethel Dodge through the knothole. She was slim and shapely with wide breasts, pert nipples, flaring hips, and a thick mossing of dark hair on her mount. She was so attractive that I wanted her to come to my cabin as she came from the bath. The stewardess introduced me and Ethel seemed willing to be friends. Yes, she was pretty and well-made, but not as lovely, or as young as Winnie. She needed money, however, as she was going to be married. She confessed at once that she loved love and was not averse to earning moneyin whatever manneron her voyage. While we were talking, I heard the stewardess tap lightly on the door; whoever was passing must have heard us laugh. Ethel plainly told me she was at my service for she liked me greatly.

“No nonsense about you, that's what I like,” she added.

When I met Winnie on deck half an hour later, she was very cold to me, so I merely bowed and smiled and passed on. A little later, while I was pacing the deck, she stopped me.

“I suppose you're proud of your new conquest?” she huffed.

“No,” I replied, “I've made no conquest new or old.”

“Yet I heard you both laughing in your room as I passed,” she replied.

“Possibly,” I said, “but that proves nothing.”

“You probably took off her bathrobe and fondled her breasts andand" Winnie said passionately.

“I didn't even want to,” I answered.

“I wish I could believe that,” she cried with intense feeling in voice and looks. As luck would have it, we had reached the forecastle and were clean out of sight and hearing of the rest of the passengers. I put my arm around her waist, drew her to me strongly and kissed her lips. While my mouth was on hers, her arms went around my neck and she murmured, “Then you do love me best?”

“You alone,” I whispered passionately. “Promise that you'll come tomorrow morning and you'll find me waiting, longing for you.”

“I'll come,” she said, all her soul in her eyes. “You don't know how I suffered this morning when I heard your two voices and that stewardess had just told me how Miss what's her name was after you. Oh, Frank, be good to me! I love you more than I can say, you dear!” and our lips clung together in a long, long kiss.

The next morning I was at the knothole when Winnie was bathing and I noticed that she was very reserved with the stewardess. I augured happiness from her reserve. I therefore hastened back to my cabin and of course met her at the door. I drew her over to my bed and without a word took off her bathrobe. I saw at once she was very nervous and afraid, so I lay down with her after covering us both with the quilt and began to kiss her and talk just to reassure her. When I saw that I had succeeded, I let my hands stray. Then I began kissing her breasts while praising their beauty and soon my right hand began caressing her pussy. Even this first time she was far more responsive than I had dared to hope, for she thrust her hips up against the pressure exerted by the hand against her mount. But when in a moment she clung to me kissing me, I said: “You must fear nothing that I do. I wouldn't think of giving pain or putting you in any danger; just trust me and you'll find I'll lead you from delight to ecstasy.”

I pushed up the quilt and revealed her naked body. It was exquisite, and I could feel my manhood stirring against my leg at the sight of her heaving breasts, engorged nipple buds, and lightly mossed mount.

I began kissing her, commencing at the graceful curve of her neck and slowly progressing downward. I lingered over her tits, swirling my tongue around the turgid peaks and sweeping under the fullness of the ripening globes. I took each nipple in turn into my mouth, teasing the tender flesh and worrying it as a dog would a bone. The buds rose under my ministrations, matching the rise of my pulsating cock.

I continued my downward trek, lashing her belly with wet strokes, pausing at the softness of her rounded hips. My hands found her breasts as I hovered above her cunt. I lingered for just a moment to increase the suspense, pinning her with my eyes as I was about to with my tongue. She watched me with rapt, lustful interest, then closed her eyes and gasped as I lowered myself to her slit. I stiffened my tongue and plunged it inside her, mimicking what I wished to do with my prick.

She began to writhe with pleasure, pushing her hips up against my face, urging me to penetrate her more deeply, trying to pull me into her center of pleasure. I was happy to oblige and stretched my tongue to the utmost, scouring the conch-like softness of her inner pussy lips, then flicking in and out of her in a quick fucking motion. She moaned and ran her fingers through my hair as I squeezed her tits and pinched her nipples between my fingers. I found her clit and laved it thoroughly until it stood up quivering.

By now Winnie was fairly crying out for me to finish her. Her taut young body trembled all over as she felt waves of delight rolling over her. My face mashed into her pussy, I continued to lick her, alternating my attentions to her love bud with the stabbing movements that buried my tongue inside her. She began to jerk and undulate beneath me as she whimpered about the flood that was being released in her belly. A moment later she inundated my tongue and lips with the pearly nectar of her passion.

“Well,” I said taking her in my arms, “are you content to trust me now?”

She nodded while her great brown eyes thanked me. “But, but”

“But what?” I asked.

“Does doing that give you pleasure?” she replied.

“You darling,” I cried, “how like you to want to give me delight. That's for a later lesson,” I went on, “when you are as sure of me as of yourself.”

“You don't need to wait,” she said saucily. “I'm more than sure that I have the dearest, best lover in the world.”

“Do you know how long we've been here?” I smiled. “It's after ten and your mother may come to look in on you.”

“Really?” she cried. “Oh, I must get up.” As she rose I kissed the mole that had helped me to such delight. A moment later she had gone and I began to dress.

The stewardess came in that evening for her reward and I gave her another note and talked to her of her protege, Miss Ethel. She liked me sincerely, it appeared, and was quite willing to be my lover. I found the stewardess very wise indeed and eager to help me in every way. We had a long talk and at the end she told me more of India and the girls of that country than I could have learned in a hundred books.

“If you like young girls, sir,” she began, “India is the happy hunting ground for you. They are nearly all married by adolescence. Of course, it's really a terrible place for girls. They are often married before they are women, and the midwives who attend them in confinement are a fearful bunch, dirty and cruel and ignorant.

“Then, you know, when the husband of fifty or sixty dies, there is nothing for the widowed girl to do but become a prostitute to support herself.” She smiled and winked at me. “Of course, you'll have to have me with you. I know Bombay and the bazaar like the back of my hand. I can get you whatever you want and I'll take care there are no evil consequences. You can rely on me.”

“I do,” I replied sincerely. “I regard it as a great piece of luck to have met you.

“I have done nothing yet,” she resumed, “but in Bombay I can be of the greatest service to you.” On this understanding we parted for the moment.

That night Winnie came to my cabin.

“I mustn't stay long,” she began, “Mother might find out.”

“Just do as you wish,” I replied, taking her in my arms and kissing her. “We can always have our hour in the morning,” and I lifted her into the bed. How shall I describe her! Let my reader think of a classical statue in warm flesh and blood. After kissing her mouth and then her neck and breasts, I moved down to the junction of her thighs and soon found that she responded far more passionately than the first time I'd licked that mossy grotto. I repeated the previous performance, wetting her thoroughly around her luscious mount and lathering her pink little slit until the nub of her clit was upstanding and begging for further attention. I caught it between my teeth and pulled on it gently while Winnie gasped and moaned. My fingers separated the folds of her labia and I dove inside with my tongue, tantalizing her again with insistent stabbing strokes. I kept on kissing for perhaps a quarter of an hour till she began to shake convulsively and tried to lift my head. At once I got up and went to her mouth, but could not help seeing on the way that her taut little cunt was now quite open, round and red.

“Take me,” she said, “I want to make you enjoy as I do; I want us to go mad together.”

At once I put my cock in her hand and she directed it to her entrance. “If it hurts too much,” I said, “stop me; I can't bear to give you pain.”

And indeed this has been a characteristic of mine during practically all my life; being extremely forceful in love is almost unthinkable to me. I always prefer to leave a good deal to the initiative of the woman. If she loves you, she will endure a good deal of suffering to give you pleasure.

I squirmed about, focusing on my delightful target as I had dreamed I would these many nights. I thrust at first a bit high, then a bit low, until I felt myself welcomed by the widening folds of moist flesh like the bud of a flower opening to the penetrating rays of the sun.

I edged the head of my meatpole slowly inside the tight slit, pausing to fully enjoy the tingling sensations that began to course through my body. I could tell by her moans and cries that Winnie experienced much the same thing as I edged my rod into that resisting channel. I was only part way inside her when I met her virgin barrier. Though I abhorred the thought of causing this voluptuous maiden any pain whatsoever, I knew the moment for force had come. My cock felt rock hard and irresistible as I reared back at the hips and thrust forward. I rammed against her hymen, pulled back and repeated the motion. Much to my surprise, after flinching during my initial plunge, Winnie moved forward to meet my thrust. Our combined action swept away any impediment and, with a cry of joy from both our lips, I was in her to the hilt. It was as I had envisioned it, tight and grasping and so very warm and inviting. The head of my cock seemed alive with sensation as I began to fuck her.

I thrust slowly and gently as I could, though my brave lover seemed to take little notice of the pain. She seemed a natural for this game and wrapped her legs around my back so as to draw me more deeply inside her moistening canal.

“Don't be afraid to be too rough,” she whispered.

That was the only invitation I needed; I proceeded to explore her innermost recesses with a frenzied determination that had our bellies slapping together and my balls tickling her bottom. I fucked her long and hard, rotating my hips so as to widen her while I continued to plunge in and out of her no-longer-virgin pussy. She seemed to enjoy it most of all when I pulled out of her almost to the tip of the head, then rammed into her as though the moment of ultimate pleasure would be denied me. Of course, in such a tight sheathe, it would not have been denied anyone in a short period of time. I was no exception. I already could feel my shaft and head swelling to the point of bursting from the exquisite stimulation of her contracting pussy walls.

In a few moments we were both bathed in exquisite mutual delight.

“Do you love me?” was her first question. “Am I a good lover?”

“You are a divine mistress and lover,” I said. “You are much more passionate than I had imagined.”

After another bout or two of kissing and caressing Winnie resolved to get back to her room. I went with her till she sent me back with an imperious dismissal.

In my bed I relived every moment, again and again, dwelt on every incident, every word and movement of Winnie's, until suddenly I saw the light in the port and knew it was morning. Then I fell into a deep sleep and awoke about eight and forthwith thought of the bath and the knothole. Alas! Winnie was not there nor was the stewardess for the moment. However, I knew I would see the stewardess some time in the afternoon and I wanted another talk, for she interested me and I had no idea yet how she had acquired her extraordinary knowledge of India.

That afternoon I found that Mrs. Redfern, the stewardess, was not unwilling to talk of her past experiences. She had lived ten years in Bombay as the wife of a noncommissioned officer who later got a post under the government. After her husband died, she did some nursing and so grew to know Indian conditions from the inside. She told me that the life of most of the girl-wives was appalling; three out of every six died in their first pregnancy through the unsanitary conditions and fearful dirt of the midwives. The children of these girls were almost invariably undersized weaklings. She had hardly ever met a wife of some years standing who was not diseased. She assured me, however, that she could easily find a young widow who was perfectly well and would please the most fastidious gentleman. I told her I would take her as my guide and guardian.

Once or twice she came back to her belief that Ethel would be a very attractive mistress. I must make a confession. Since I had enjoyed Winnie and the novelty was worn off, I often found myself desiring Ethel's more opulent beauty. What devil is it in men that makes them desire the untried? I cared for Winnie, esteemed her more than I could ever esteem Ethel, knew that she was incomparably prettier, and yet I commenced to desire Ethel in spite of all reason. I wanted to crush her generous tits with my hands, and sample the pleasures of what would undoubtedly be a comfortable and practiced pussy.

That same evening, the charming and providential Mrs. Redfern caught me in my cabin and proposed that Ethel should come to me that night.

“Not in this cabin,” I said, thinking Winnie might seek my company here.

“I'll put her two doors away, in number 17,” she replied, “and if you wish to visit her, the door will not be locked against you.”

I laughed and thanked her, but asked her to put Ethel off for a night or so, then gave her another gold tip and went my way.

In my cabin late that evening I hesitated. If Winnie had come I'd have been content. Why didn't she? I could not guess, but I began to want more and more the heavier hips, fuller breasts, and more luscious mouth of Ethel.

At eleven Winnie finally came but she was ill. Through the intense excitement, she said, her monthlies had come on long before it was due. I kissed her and consoled her and accompanied her back to her room.

The next night, when I knew Winnie would not come, I went to No. 17, opened the door and turned on the light. Ethel was in bed awaiting me. I locked the door and drew back the covers. Her nightie was in the way; I threw it up and climbed atop

Aren't you going to strip for me first, dear?” she said.

“Of course,” I gasped, overcome by her beauty. My eyes were drawn to the thick mossing between her legs and by the way her tits hung large and pendulous on her chest. My cock was erect as I drew off my trousers and let it spring free. It bobbed before Ethel's delighted eyes and she grabbed it as I pulled my shirt over my head. She began tugging it, reveling in the way it grew and stiffened as she led me to the bed.

When we lay down, I was startled when she turned me over on my back and raised herself up slightly while holding my lance upright with one hand. Acrobatically, she spread her legs, positioning my rampant tool, and then impaled herself on it. My cock was fully buried in her as she let her full weight fall on my belly. It was wonderful the way her pussy grasped my organ and played it. She moved up and down, eyes closed, seemingly aware of nothing as she rode me. I tried to thrust up to meet her, but she controlled the tempo expertly and I finally lay back and let her have her way. When she sensed I was becoming too excited and would soon eject a copious amount of sperm into her, she slowed, allowing the flood to recede only to release it once again with greater fury. At last, overcome by her own sensations, she began to pound her pussy against my cock as fast and as hard as she could. Her nipples thrust outward long and hard; her breasts bounced with each bucking descent on my ramrod. As she began to come, I reached down and nimbly inserted a finger between her buttocks. This additional stimulus sent her over the edge. She began to spasm uncontrollably as her pearly juices began to run down her thighs and onto mine. I pumped a hot injection into her immediately thereafter. She finally fell upon my chest, totally exhausted.

Resting beside this gorgeous nude woman, I contemplated her charms. I found Ethel quite as passionate as Winnie, but in a more selfish way; excited fully, she thought more of her pleasure than of mine while Winnie had always her lover's delight in mind. She was of far commoner origin; she would not talk of her feelings, thinking I would wish to forget all about the act as soon as it was over.

The last night before reaching Bombay, Winnie came to me and we had a long talk and arranged to meet. She could not do without me, she said, and begged me to be nice to her father so that we might meet easily. I swore I would be as pleasant as I could beand next day I saw her and her mother safely to their carriage.

I went to the hotel recommended by Mrs. Redfern who also took up her abode there. The second evening, she brought me a young girl of seventeena widowrather pretty but immature and inexperienced. When we were alone, I nearly tore her clothes from her. Her cunt was small and tight, but she had little response to passion in her; she seemed afraid to complain and didn't enjoy what we were doing.

I fucked her anyway, curious to see if any position that I chose would give her the admittedly minimal pleasure that I felt. I laid her upon her back and penetrated her in that fashion, then threw her legs over my shoulders and drove my cock forcefully into her, but there was no reaction. Because of this disinterest, I was able to maintain my composure for a longer time than usual, and so I continued to experiment. I turned on my back and lowered her onto my joystick as Ethel had done, then finally turned her over and entered her cunt from behind, cushioning my hard strokes on the soft rondures of her buttocks. It was all to no avail. Finally, I was so exasperated that I simply had her suck me until I exploded in her mouth. She didn't draw out the experience; her head bobbed up and down dutifully until she drew my passion from me and swallowed it expressionlessly. I couldn't even be angry about it; I was merely disappointed.

The girl was happy for the first time when I paid her.

Mrs. Redfern could only say, “Better luck next time,” but the better luck seldom materialized. Time and again she brought pretty young girls, but we could not converse and there was an awkwardness over the whole affair. Several of them even had all their pussy hairs taken off which seemed to increase their youthfulness. The experience cured me of my liking for the immature. Even the best of them failed to give me the thrill I had experienced with older girls. The cunt was often very tight; but it had not the gripping, pumping power of the mature woman's. I'd found that some older women, especially in France, use all the contractive power of their pussy and the movement of the hips to increase the throes of pleasure. A woman from twenty on, gifted with passion and in love with you, gives more pleasure than almost any girl.

It is strange that nearly everywhere women think that the whole art of love on their part is summed up in surrender. To excite the man, to give him the utmost thrill of pleasure, to respond at least to his desire passionately, never seems to occur to the average woman anywhere except in Japan, sometimes in China, and often in that garden of India, Ceylon. But with the young women in India proper, there is rarely any response, and Mrs. Redfern confessed to me that nearly all the older girls of 20 to 25 were diseased or had had some disease.

I didn't mind curtailing my activities with those girls, for one day Winnie came to my rooms and found me in and we had another long talk, after which she left without engaging in any of those acts I so dearly wished to repeat with her. She promised we would soon enough.

Perhaps I have not done enough to portray each of the girls I have had love-duets with. I am resolved at least to try and give their view of life and the love episodes.

In some way or other the freshness of youth made some of them more vivid to me. But others in maturity made a deathless impression on me and I do not want to pass them over without outlining their very souls. Many were kindlier, more loving and more generous than could be imagined at least by me, and these surely deserve to be saved from oblivion.

I remember one in particular in the South of France, who gave herself to me so simply, so easily that I did not at all realize that she was possessed by the very spirit of love. She was of good family and I soon found that her reckless abandon in sexual things was so complete that it was almost certain to lead to pregnancy. This frightened me. I knew and esteemed her mother and father and I was not free at the time, nor could I hope to free myself in any reasonable time; so I drew away from her the more resolutely because my passion grew so intense that I knew if I gave way to it, the result would be disaster.

Years later I met her. She had married and was happy, yet there was between us an instinctive sympathy, an attachment of heart and mind and soul that fills me with reverence for the spirit of pure love in her. She was so wise and yet so enthusiastic, so capable of devotion and yet free of all superstition. And when she told me that her yielding at first was wholly free of sensuality, that all she wanted was to please and content and if possible delight me, I remembered little things that convinced me the confession was wholly true. She had not weighed consequences, nor thought of disgrace: It was enough for her to love and to give herself to love, body and soul. I never met a nobler nature. Many years later when we met again, she showed me a generosity and a desire to help me in every way that filled me with shame at my unworthiness. There are some women nobler than men and I thank God I have met one or two of them that have heightened my estimate of the possibilities of human goodness.

CHAPTER II

While we were traveling through the Red Sea, my mind had turned naturally to Colonial problems, for it was not possible, nor even desirable, to be concerned with Winnie all the time. Perhaps the most useful way to reveal my thoughts would have been to contrast the characters of Cecil Rhodes and the German Kaiser. The former was without doubt an Empire Builder; the latter, as few men before 1914 realized, was an Empire Destroyer. But two such portraits would have taken me beyond the scope of the present part of my memoir. For this reason, using the personality of Rhodes as a kind of springboard, I shall attempt to record exactly what my thoughts were at the time. I have since found no reason to alter them.

As early as 1887 at the Colonial Conference in London, Rhodes had outlined the true colonial policy of England in the future. There was no snobbishness in him and he saw that the despotism of the aristocratic class was out of keeping with modern ideas. He told me once that if there had been any brains in English rulers, the seat of government would have been settled for five years in Washington and then five years in London. To him “the British constitution” was an absurd anachronism and should have been remodeled on the lines of the American Union with federal self-governing colonies as the constituent states.

Rhodes had many faults, but there was greatness in him and in the main he seemed to gravitate to what was right. He made dreadful mistakes: He could not believe that Kruger would fight. He was the only man in South Africa of any position who held that view. He believed too that the English would beat the Boers easily and again he found himself mistaken. But he was the ablest exponent of the true imperialism.

At the beginning of the century when the war was practically over, he addressed a meeting of the South Africa League in Cape Town and his words deserve to be remembered:

“The Dutch are not beaten; what is beaten is Krugerism, a corrupt and evil government, no more Dutch in essence than English. No! The Dutch are as vigorous and unconquered today as they have ever been; the country is still as much theirs as it is yours, and you will have to live and work with them hereafter as in the past. Remember that when you go back to your homes in the towns or in the up-country farms and villages, let there be no vaunting words, no vulgar triumph over your Dutch neighbors; make them feel that the bitterness is past and that the need of cooperation is greater than ever. Teach your children to remember when they go to their village school that the little Dutch boys and girls they find sitting on the same benches with them are as much part of the South African nation as they are themselves, and that as they learn the same lessons together now, so hereafter they must work together as comrades for a common objectthe good of South Africa.”

In the three of four years of the war he had changed physically to an astonishing extent; he had become puffy-faced and bloated, but his high purposes held. His first will had been made when he was a youth of 24. In his final will of 1899, he published his resolve to found a great educational scheme to apply to all the English-speaking portions of the world. He gave scholarships to young Americans, Germans and others to enable them to study in Oxford.

It is not time yet to judge the full effect of these “Rhodes scholarships,” but that they have done good is certain.

His private life no one knew much about. He had a secretary once who told me stories of his erotic tendencies worthy of Oscar Wilde, but I never believed them wholeheartedly. Rhodes always seemed to me to be lacking in virility, political ideas engrossed his attention when really good erotic tales scarcely induced him to listen. And in Cape Town where he was well-known, his reputation in this respect was never assailed.

The end of his life was tragiche had drunk too much for years, eaten too much, too, and his heart began to give way. The Princess Radziwill had been connected with him in some way and had forged his name to a number of bills of exchange. He had to go to Cape Town to defend himself. He gave his evidence practically on his death bed, but his last home was chosen for him carefully by Dr. Jameson who brought him to a little cottage at Muizesberg near the sea where he could look out over the great ocean and get the cool breezes. They rigged up a sort of cable over his bed and here he used to hang when his heart fluttered and his breathing became difficult. His old friends all wrote to him affectionately. Hofmeyr was the first to send him a message of reconciliation and daily cables came from friends in London.

Dying, Rhodes reached his true height. “Everything in the world is too short,” he said one day, “life and fame and achievements, everything is too short.” Just before his death on March 26, 1902, he was heard to say: “So little done, so much to do.” It might well be his epitaph.

I feel that I ought to tell something about Rhodes' greatest rival, Paul Kruger, the President of the Transvaal, though in statecraft he was no match for Rhodes. It was said that when a young man, he was the greatest athlete in the country. He was just six feet in height and was, it was said, an extraordinary runner, and possessed, besides, extraordinary strength.

It was Sir James Sivewright who told me that on one occasion Kruger ran a footrace against the pick of Kaffir braves. There were large prizes of good cattle. It was a long day's run across country past certain well-known landmarksamongst others, his own father's house. Young Kruger soon distanced all his pursuers, and when he reached his father's house, he was so far ahead that he went in and had some coffee. His father, however, was so angry with him for running across country without his rifle that he very nearly gave his son a flogging. He made the boy take a light rifle with him when he left to finish his race.

On sped young Kruger, the Kaffir braves toiling after him as well as they could. They threw away their impediments as their muscles weakened; their path became strewn with shields, spears, clubs, and even the bangles they wore on their legs and arms. But in spite of it all, Paul Kruger kept far ahead of them.

His speed on foot was so extraordinary that it was commonly said that he could outrun a horse, and I believe that on one occasion he did. Of course, the myth faculty came into play, and it was usually said that Kruger ran faster than a horse can gallop for half a mile, which, was utterly impossible. In truth, over twelve hours he did, I believe, surpass a horse.

Another story equally strange was told me. Kruger had been chasing buffalo, and his horse had brought him close up to his victim. Suddenly the huge beast put his foot into a hole, and fell head-over-heels into a swamp. Kruger was on top of it in a moment, horse, rider and buffalo all rolling pell-mell in the same soft ground. Kruger was the first to collect his wits. He sprang at the head of the buffalo, seized both its horns in his hands, and while the beast lay upon its side, twisted its neck so as to force its nose under water; thus, after a struggle, Kruger killed the buffalo, drowning it by sheer strength. I had heard this story already in Cape Town, but would not believe it until I had the President's corroboration of this extraordinary feat.

It was the same Sivewright, the Minister of Public Works in the Cape Colony, who told me that he once called upon Kruger with a certain English duke, who was by no means conceited, but was somewhat deficient in diplomacy. The conversation, as I recall it, ran about as follows. Of course it was conducted by means of an interpreter.

“Tell the President that I am the Duke and have come to pay my respects to him.”

Kruger gave a grunt signifying welcome.

“Tell him that I am a member of the English Parliament,” said the Duke after a long pause.

Kruger gave another grunt, puffing his pipe.

After a still longer pause: “Andyou might tell him that I amera member of the House of Lordsa Lordyou know.”

Kruger puffed as before, and nodded his head, with another grunt. Then, turning, he said gruffly, “Tell the Englishman that I was a cattle-herder.”

There was no snobbishness in Kruger, but he possessed great obstinacy and he was as combative as a bull-terrier. I told him that he had better give in to Chamberlain, and give the Englishman the pride of a victory in words, “or else,” I said, “you may be sure there will be war, which will help no one.”

Kruger said: “You may be right, but the issue is in the hands of God. I can only do what I regard as right, and the issue is not so certain as you think. We Boers are hard to beat.” He afterwards sent for me saying that I was the only Englishman he had met who told him the truth. It would have been easy for Chamberlain to manage Kruger, as it was easy for Kruger to placate Chamberlain. But, alas! they preferred to fight, and I cannot but admit that the chief wrong was Chamberlain's. The consciousness of power leads usually to provocative bullying. The struggle cost poor Kruger his life.

My proof that the South African War had cost Great Britain millions and had worsened our relations with South Africa made me many enemies in England. All the evil effects of the war had seldom been adequately or carefully stated. Let me give here some new facts.

In 1901, the Commission of Police in London reported that in the twelve months during which Lord Kitchener was looting and burning and devastating South Africa, the criminal classes were carrying on similar operations in the heart of the Empire. In a single twelve months, burglaries in London rose 50 per cent. Forgeries also showed a similar increase; house-breaking rose 22 per cent, and shop-breaking 15 per cent. As with crime, so with drunkenness. The number of convictions for drunkenness in the five years from 1897 to 1901 showed an increase of 50 per cent in London over the convictions for the five years from 1892 to 1896. The increase in vagrancy was even more appalling. In 1901 the number of vagrants relieved at the workhouse showed an increase of 20 per cent, and in 1901 the number was actually 100 per cent higher than the figure at which it stood ten years before.

The tide of pauperism, which had been steadily ebbing during the liberal regime of peace, turned completely. In 1900 there was 1 pauper for 42 of the population, in 1901 1 in 40, and in November 1902, 1 in 38.4. Not less ominous was the tale told in the Labor Gazette as to the increase in the number of unemployed. When the war began, the percentage reported as unemployed by the trades unions was little more than 2.5. In November 1902, the percentage had doubled. The poverty in England chiefly due to the English ruling classes was intensified through this purposeless war. Here I will use another authority:

In 1904, Montague Crackenthorpe in an article in The Nineteenth Century gave some figures which deserve to be widely known. He proved that “nine hundred and twenty-nine out of every thousand persons in the Kingdom die in poverty and one of every four in London dies supported by public charity. Eight millions of people in the United Kingdom are on the edge of starvation, and twenty millions are not comfortable.”

Such facts should be known to every man, but not one Englishman in ten thousand cares to note them, and not one in ten million attempts to understand their profound significance, much less dream of a remedy.

Perhaps the worst of all is Crackenthorpe's true statement: “The people of England have come to look on starvation and suffering, which they call distress, as part of the social order. Chronic starvation is regarded as a matter of course.”

I cannot help adding a table showing the cost of armaments in each of these first years of the century:

France?38,400,000

Germany?38,000,000

United States?38,300,000

Russia?43,000,000

Italy?15,700,000

Great Britain spent?69,000,000

The South African war was made by England and it was well perhaps that she should pay for it; but the wrongs she committed in South Africa were beyond belief.

In the South African war, Chamberlain made the mistake of choosing the worst possible Lieutenant. Lord Milner was all for fighting until the Boers surrendered unconditionally. He armed scores of thousands of blacks. He closed the gates of the refugee camps against the miserable women and children whose homes he had burned and let loose his armed savages upon the helpless wanderers. A little further pressure and these methods of barbarism would, he believed, result in unconditional surrender.

But, thank God, the King was wiser; he was sick and tired of the war. We had drained the Empire of our last resources in recruits. The Peace of Vereeniging was the result. Peace was made on terms despite Lord Milner, but as the execution of the terms was left to him, the Boers maintain that the difference was chiefly on paper. Surrender on terms is all very well, but if the terms are not executed, and no means exist whereby they can be enforced, such surrender is particularly unconditional.

Some time after the South African war, I met Joseph Chamberlain in the lobby of the House of Commons, and he came over to me in the friendliest way and wanted to know why I had refused his last invitations to dinner. I said that the dreadful South African war was the cause of my coldness. “I thought you would be the greatest English statesman,” I said, “but you had the bad luck to choose Milner, and the two of you have written one of the worst pages in all English history.”

“I did what I thought my duty,” he said. “Milner went beyond all my orders, but now it is all over and done with.”

“Not to me,” I said. “That war marks the beginning of the fall of the British Empire.”

“I am sorry,” he said and turned away. Even now, a quarter of a century later, I see no reason to modify my opinion, though Campbell Bannerman by his wise concessions to the Boers did much to blot out the worst results of the Chamberlain-Milner rule and, of course, the world-war had still more disastrous consequences. Thanks to this last blunder, Britain lost the leadership of the nations and can never again regain it in spite of the wonderful opportunity which still exists for her in Africa.

Very few realize that Africa is made up of three zonesthe first all along the ocean, unhealthy save in the north and south; go three hundred miles inland and you will come to a land lifted from 1,250 to 2,500 feet above the sea, a plateau which is healthy and sun baked; go inland another hundred miles and you will come to the center-table land lifted from 3,000 to 5,000 feet above the level of the sea.

This central plateau is perhaps the healthiest and most interesting portion of the known world. And the English now own the whole of it from Khartoum to the Cape. If they would spend one hundred million pounds yearly in transporting their unemployed to this central plateau and giving them decent work and housing, they would retrieve all their losses of the world war in two or three generations and form a Central African Empire healthier and more fruitful than the United States.

One man, and so far as I know only one, understood thisMr. Abe Bailey, born and bred in South Africa. He understood what might be done. He has farms in the north of Cape Colony, near Colesberg; they extend for an area of about 200,000 acres. When I met him, years ago, he had about 3,000 acres in cultivation. He contemplated an extension of the cultivated area to 15,000 acres. By far the greatest part of his holding consisted of Karroo.

“The Karroo,” said Mr. Bailey, “is the best soil in the world and is capable of the greatest development.”

“I thought it a wilderness,” I said.

“It is a wilderness of untold wealth” he replied. “It only requires intelligent cultivation to make South Africa one of the greatest farming countries in the world.”

“But you have no water in the Karroo.”

“That is where you make your mistake,” said Mr. Bailey. “I have bored ninety-three times in various parts of my farms and have struck water every time except one. Sometimes it was only fourteen feet below the surface, and the deepest boring we found necessary to make was 135 feet. In some instances the water rises to the surface by itself, but as a rule it has to be pumped up by windmills. We have about ninety windmills on our farms. There is plenty of wind, and with their aid, all my cattle can be watered where they are pastured.

“I hope before long to have fifteen thousand acres under alfalfa. We take five or six crops off it every year, and after I fed all my stock last year, we had six hundred and fifty tons of hay left on hand. It is marvelous what alfalfa will do. I estimate its value at?7 an acrenot bad for land which I bought seven years ago at 17 shillings an acre.”

“Don't you exhaust the soil?” I asked.

“Not at all. The alfalfa grows up by itself. It continues to grow year after year; supply it with water and you have an unfailing supply of fodder for your stock.”

“What stock does your farm carry?”

“I am rather proud of the variety. Mine is the only farm in the whole world on which you will find sheep, cattle, horses, Angora goats, and ostriches, all doing well, and all the best of their kind.”

“Do you think there is much land in South Africa that could be made as profitable as your farm?”

“I think,” replied Mr. Bailey, “I have got the pick of the bunch, but there are millions of acres that are almost as good, with any number of them running to waste, and square miles of Karroo which are quite waterless for want of the windmill. I think,” added Mr. Bailey, “my farm has demonstrated in practical fashion that South Africa can be made one of the richest farming countries in the world. But you must have: first, brains in the management; second, windmills to raise water for your stock; third, dams to secure the irrigation of the flat land on either side of the plot; fourth, alfalfa with which to fodder your stock in winter, and fifth, you must raise nothing but the best stock. If you stick to these five rules you will not go far wrong.”

If the English had given Abe Bailey power, he might have made an Eldorado of South Africa.

Instead you have statesmen like Asquith and Grey who will make a world war without fear or doubt, or hesitation, but will not attempt at small cost to build up a world empire. Yet the Central Plateau of Africa is sure to become a world empire in the near future, for the climate is not only healthful, but the country is astoundingly attractive and rich as well, sun baked and life-giving all the year round without being too hot even in summer and on the Equator.

The great event of January 1906 was the overwhelming defeat of the Party that made the South African War. The great event of February was the re-establishment at Westminster of a Parliament which in every sense represented the heart of the nation. For years Parliament had been sinking in public esteem. In the last years of the Balfour Ministry it had come to be treated with contempt. Now all that was changed. Westminster was alive again. Even the Peers showed symptoms of a new life.

The King's speech, which was of considerable length, contained the welcome announcement that responsible government was to be established this year in both the Transvaal and the Orange Free State, in the confident expectation that “the grant of free institutions will be followed by an increased prosperity and loyalty to the Empire.”

Best of all, the Chinese laborers in the Transvaal, or slaves as they really were, were to be sent home again at the cost of the British Government.

And so Milnerism was finally killed. His speech in the House of Commons was his death-song. In it, the tyrant stood confesseda tyrant whose one idea of government was to use racial supremacy as his sole instrument. There was no longer any disguise. Naked and unashamed Milnerism stood revealed before our eyes.

No wonder Lord Milner was miserable. To have been directly responsible for the slaughter of 25,000 fighting men, and for the deaths of 5,000 women and 20,000 helpless infants, would have been a terrible burden to bear even if the end had justified the means. But Lord Milner, in the frankest fashion, admitted his failure:

“Just now the Transvaalindeed, all South Africais under a cloud. It has cost us great sacrifice. The compensations which we expected, and reasonably expected, have not come.”

Seldom has there been a more signal and instantaneous manifestation of the magic influence of justice and sympathy than in the rally of the whole Boer nation to his Majesty's Ministers the moment they showed that they intended to keep faith with his Afrikaner subjects.

The aristocracy and Milnerism had come to much the same grief in South Africa at the end of the 19th century as their predecessors achieved in the United States at the end of the eighteenth.

CHAPTER III

The only man I knew in Bombay was a man called Taylor. He had some kind of position with the railways. Here I find my memory at fault. In a long life lived energetically over three parts of the globe, this lapse is perhaps excusable. I shall go straight to the things which most concerned me, for they, like certain pages of Virgil and like certain immortal lines of Meredith, will remain with me always.

It was late afternoon when Taylor conducted me through the bazaar. There is nothing so picturesque as the bazaars of India, and nothing so chaotic. The men, women, and the skinny brown children are as thick as flies in the midst of the gaudy bales and bundles of their colorful wares. I couldn't help noticing how, when they saw us, they seemed to make way for us and to impede us at the same time. Taylor called my attention to the Chinese silks, the Tibetan shawls, and to the large drums of brown and yellow spices. I feigned interest, but to tell the truth, I was interested in the people more than in the gaudy merchandise which they held up for us to see. It seemed to me significant that Taylor, who was, after all, a man of no breadth of mind, a man who missed alike the joys of the spirit and the sweetest of the body's delights, should barge his way like a railway porter through the crowd. He typified for me the worst aspect of the British Raj, the kind of man who, like Lord Milner, was devoid of the sense of justice and fair play when he was confronted by the subject races. I allowed him to walk ahead, like a bad-mannered guide. Thoughtfully, taking everything in, I followed in his wake.

It occurred to me immediately that Taylor was not the kind of man I could trust to advise me in the matter which was closest to my heart. I decided, therefore, to take Mrs. Redfern at her word, and to accept her offer to be my guide and friend in sexual matters during my sojourn in India. Walking behind Taylor, I could not help feeling very anti-English. That this in general should have been the type of man they sent out to bring Western civilization to the East made me boil with rage. What kind of future could we expect when we showed such little wisdom in the choice of our emissaries? I remembered suddenly what I had said to Molly, the beautiful daughter of the innkeeper at Ballinasloe: “I am not ambitious, Molly, of place or power or riches; but of knowledge and wisdom I'm the lover and priest. I don't want happiness even, Molly, nor comfort, though I'll take all I can get of both. I'm wedded to that one quest for knowledge like a knight in search of the Holy Grail and my whole life will go to that achievement.” When I'd said that, I had been thinking of Smith, my friend and professor in Lawrence, Kansas. Now, for the thousandth time in my life, I was thinking of him again. If only our western governments would be sensible enough to use the fine qualities of men like Smith! There are true Empire Builders, the men in whom moral courage is leavened by wisdom, the men who, in their wisdom, despise not the body in its pleasures nor are insensitive to it in its afflictions. That kind of man, more than those who learn their manners on the cricket field of Eton, is the one who will build the only true empirethe everlasting Empire of Love!

All around me was a strange peoplemen, passionate in their poverty; women, tender as flowers in their travail; children, graceful in their filth; a strange people, a people whose natural right it was to know kindness and love but who had for centuries known nothing but ugliness and the whip! I decided that very moment to bid good-bye to Taylor as soon as we left the bazaar and to avoid wherever possible contact with his type during the rest of my stay in India. He was not, as you can well imagine, unsurprised at my sudden decision to part company with him, laughing first, and then, when he saw that I was in earnest, becoming cool and not a little angry toward me. But I have never had any time to waste on fools. I bade him good day politely and was lucky enough not to run into him again while I was in Bombay. I considered myself very lucky to have got off so lightly and so soon.

Mrs. Redfern, the stewardess, was not satisfied with failure. She was an extremely practical and capable woman, the widow of a noncommissioned officer, as I have said before. Perhaps it was that failures did not bring her in any money. In any case, she was resolved to win my vagrant fancy and I had confidence in her. Soon after her first unfortunate introductions in Bombay, she began talking to me of a wonderful girl who was quite independent but who, at eighteen, would soon have to choose a lover or a husband.

“Some go much longer,” I objected.

“Not in this climate,” she corrected me. “When a girl of eighteen sees a girl of fourteen already given up to love, as is often the case here, her chastity begins to trouble her, I can assure you. But I want to be certain that you will give this girl the best reception, for she is a peach.”

It was precisely her peach that interested me. We soon decided on an afternoon upon which to bring about the meeting. When it arrived, I arranged the sitting room with flowers and fruit and wine. When Mrs. Redfern came in with her protege, I was astonished. Her skin was a very pale brown color, too dark to be English, but she spoke English with no accent. She wore high-heeled slippers, but the rest of her costume was native, a large transparent veil hanging down from her head and being fastened between the knees. It was all in all an exceedingly gracious costume. Her pure accent caused me to ask her: “Are you English?”

“Half-English,” she replied, and I learned that her father was an English officer while her mother was an Indian of good family. Her name was May and she deserved it. She was certainly very pretty and her gentle and sympathetic manners increased the effect of her beauty.

Mrs. Redfern stripped the girl in front of my eyes and made me notice that the hairs on her mount had been taken off. Indeed, she seemed quite in love with the girl herself; she kissed her soft skin passionately and ran her hands over the softly rounded curves while the girl stood like a young sylph in her nudity.

Mrs. Redfern told me that the girl was a Padmini, or lotus-girl, and when I asked what that meant, told me that the girl's Yoniher pussywas like the bud of a lotus flower, and her Kama-salila, or love-juice, had the perfume of a lily that was just opening. She became lyrical in her praise as if she had been the lover, and indeed the girl's body deserved her eulogy. Her hips were smooth and rounded and swept downward to a pair of soft and shapely thighs on which the hairless mound, naked of hair between their roundnesses, jutted outward like a soft beak. I must say I found that rather ugly. It is a fallacy to think that a woman's cunt is less prominent when it is shaven of its hair. The hair, rising as it does outward and away from the lower belly, has a tendency to obscure the sharpness of the line of the mound, thus rendering the mound itself less prominent, more subtle in its provocativeness and more modest to a man's lips. Hair is the grass of the human body, the verdure and the beauty of the carnal meadow. But that was the only imperfection. Her breasts were round and rosy like small pomegranates and capped with nipples like ripe cherries. Her belly was like the heap of brown-flecked wheat on which Solomon must have showered passionate kisses to have written of it in the immortal lines of his Songs. The soft indention of her perfectly formed navel had all my attention. Her neck was almost yellow, not the offensive saffron color of the Turkish trousers she wore, but a softer, browner yellow with a touch of hazel in it. Her lips were generous and young, perhaps cold in their sensuousness, but I could have been mistaken. Her eyes, glory of glories, were almost an amethyst color and glimmered suggestively from behind dark, oriental-lashed lids. The beauties of the East and West had combined to make this perfectly charming child, a widow at eighteen, one of the most prototypic of the fair tribe of Venus. She was seated on a round stool of gaily decorated leather and when she moved on her haunches there was a light tearing sound as the skin of her warm, damp buttocks pulled away from the shining leather and readjusted itself in a more comfortable position. Mrs. Redfern had been sitting at her feet, like a courtier at the feet of one of Shakespeare's princesses. I felt a passion for her mounting in me.

I soon said “Good-bye” to Mrs. Redfern and a little later convinced myself that May, though not a virgin, was well disposed to me through the extravagant efforts of Mrs. Redfern. I resolved to do my best to please her. Quickly, though not, I hope, without dignity, I removed my clothes and, taking one of her hands, lifted the graceful girl to her feet beside me. Then, with my hand at the cleft of her smooth buttocks, I drew her against me, belly to belly, until her hairless pussy was against my throbbing erection. At the same time I kissed her on the lips. She responded at once, searching to enclose one of my thighs between hers to bring pressure to bear on her little love-knot. I allowed myself to be her confederate, feeling the soft urgent thrust of her mound against my thigh, her dark head, with its coils of raven-black hair, splashing a scintillating web on the pale flesh of my shoulders and chest.

After a moment, I lifted her off her feet and carried her in my arms to the divan where I laid her down at full length. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing heavily. I began to stroke her and examine her at the same time. The suffusion of a darker color which beneath the skin made the almost fair skin dusky, was most attractive, especially at the breasts on which the pink nipples, as big as small thimbles, were set as coral gems in tarnished brass. It was on these delightful flowers that I bestowed my first kisses, gently, and at the same time, drawing apart the lips of her cleft with the fingers of my left hand. I agitated the little bud of her love until her hips arched upward in passion and a long sigh of content escaped from her lips. I was pleased to find that her slit was comparatively small and tight, the sexual badge of women in warm climes being usually more obvious than that of the women of northern Europe and, in spite of the fact that it is truly the melting pot of nations, of the women of America.

I moved down to her, inserting the head of my cock in her wet tightness. A small hissing sound came from her lips, as though the sound at her throat slaked the terrible thirst at her loins. Then, when I had sunk in to the hilt, I felt my own hips carried into a rhythm by a small rotatory movement of hers. I slid easily in the smooth love-juiced trough, her Yoni with its crystal varnish of Kama-salila, as Mrs. Redfern would have called it. I used long, slow strokes to kindle the flame in her, my hands, forefingers together, nestling under the soft oscillation of her buttocks, and my knees, slightly apart, locking her legs in an open position. I fucked her long and hard, varying my motion so as to give us both the maximum amount of pleasure. I would draw back until the tip of my throbbing ramrod was just within her moistening slit, then dig forward slowly, allowing her to feel every inch of the turgid flesh as it penetrated deeper and deeper. She seemed dedicated to finding new ways to please me, urging me to assume a variety of positions. When she'd tired of resting compliantly beneath me, she suddenly pushed me back and assumed the dominant position, riding me so that my cock was buried more firmly and deeply than I ever thought possible.

But even this did not fully satisfy her. She made me withdraw from her and sit on a chair, my tumescent lance upright and aching. Then she crawled to me on hands and knees and dove between my thighs, taking me down her throat. She sucked my prick with determination, pausing only to lick my balls.

She tried to insist that the favor didn't need returning, but I would hear nothing of it. I turned her on her back and spread her wide, absorbing the sight of her gasping cunt with my hungry eyes. Then I began to work and knead her silky thighs. When she began to writhe and gasp with just the intimation of the pleasure to come, I slipped my middle finger deep inside her pussy.

“Oh, this feels so good,” I said out loud as I started to massage her desperate cunt lips. The soft tissues were hot like fire, but wet with rich, sweet-tasting juices. I had to sample her, so I took my finger out, brought it up to both our lips and we hungrily sucked off the cream.

I returned to her with two fingers now and worked her quickly. She seemed to love it, encouraging me to go faster and faster and harder. Her pussy began to open wide in orgasmic contractions.

She whimpered when I suddenly stopped my ministrations, but I smiled and told her it was time for a good licking. I lowered my head and breathed in her fragrance. It was deliciously exciting, as was the sight of her pussy, pink and swollen.

I began by kissing her thighs and stomach, then rewarded myself by starting at the lowest point of her valleylicking right up to her clitoris. I told her how much I loved sucking her cunt and she responded by grabbing the back of my head and mashing my face against her dripping orifice.

I was ready for the final moment and positioned myself between her parted legs. My prick found its way into her easily and filled her side-to-side and end-to-end. I began to grind in and out, in and out, more forcefully than before. I delayed as long as I could, bringing her to the brink of uncontrollable ecstasy again and again until my torrent could no longer be restrained.

I brought her to one climax after another, and then, when she had lost all fear of me and I felt her give her whole being over to love, I allowed my own passion to ride upward into her.

When it was over, I drew her out about her life. I found it had been a lonely one. A noncommissioned officer, an Indian and his wife, had been given charge of her by her father who had settled a small pension on her. She had lived between the two contrasting civilizations, so to speak, understanding both but not loving either. The Indian, she said, had no notion of sex morality. I found out that she had been brought up in a temple as a bride of the god Brahma and had been taught all love's ways and arts by the priests. In fact, she had only given ear to Mrs. Redfern hoping that I would take care of her or at least free her from the temple service. Of course, I promised to do what I could and set out to find out about it the very next day.

With Mrs. Redfern's help, I found that the task was not very difficult. The English father had put the pension in the girl's control after her sixteenth year. By applying to the proper authorities, I soon got her out of the hands of the priests and into that of a person who, I knew, had real affection for herMrs. Redfern.

Naturally, I was inquisitive about the kind of treatment she had received at the hands of the priests. I questioned her about it but she was always very reticent. She admitted once that on one occasion she had been forced to submit to the attentions of two priests, simultaneously. She had not been a willing participant, but there was truly little she could do. She described how the priests had torn the clothes from her until she cowered nude before them. One of them pulled her in front of him and began to bite her nipples and roll the pouting buds between his lips. The other one shed his robe and came behind her. She could feel his hardness poking at her buttocks, then the heat and pain as he forced his way into her tight little endhole. He drew her down atop him, pushing her up and down at the hips and digging his enormous cock more and more deeply into her ass, while the first priest eagerly laid aside his garments. His tool was long and thick and bobbed as he kneeled between the two pairs of spread legs. Then he rammed himself into her tight cavern and they fucked her in unison until they'd filled her with torrents of come. On another occasion she had been stripped naked and flogged in front of a number of priests for what she considered a trifling offense.

For over a month I lived between Winnie and May and was more than content with my lot. Winnie was much stronger and more resolute, but May was more sensuous and her yielding and gentleness were infinitely touching. When I disappointed her in love, the big, dark eyes filled with tears. Winnie, on the other hand, would get angry and tear her passion to tatters. Still, they both gave me intense pleasure, and of a new kind, for it must be remembered that I was forty-five at the time and my young mistresses were both in the late teens.

I had often thought of bringing them together. I consulted Mrs. Redfern, making sure to bring up the subject casually. To my instant delight, she responded favorably to the idea.

“Winnie is such a dear,” she said, “and fortunately she already knows and trusts me. I really think you ought to let me put it to her.”

I asked her why.

“Oh, women have ways of talking about such things!” she said with a merry laugh, and I supposed they had!

“And what about May? Do you think you'll be able to persuade her?” I was not sure about May's reaction either.

“You just leave it to me, sir!”

I was only too glad to. Our upbringing has made it difficult for us to engineer romantic situations whereas, with the aid of one other person only, how easily most love trysts are arranged! A few days later, the cunning lady came to me and announced that her entreaties had been successful. The meeting was arranged for the following day.

Only one thing had disturbed her, she said. It was the fact that Winnie was white and May a half-caste. She thought Winnie might have been put off by it. I laughed at her fears.

“To think that a girl like Winnie, so forthright and honest,” I protested, “would entertain such contemptible notions as race prejudice and at the same time, in her inner self, give way to the desire to indulge in illicit pleasures, is not to know how beautiful her soul really is! I see that in some ways I know her better than you do, Mrs. Redfern!”

She laughed and exclaimed almost with a blush: “Oh, I suppose that sometimes I must appear very old-fashioned as compared with you and the girls!”

“Not at all, Mrs. Redfern,” I replied. “You have, like I do, the very heart of Youth!”

Truly, as I was to find out, she had. Indeed, as she walked out of the room after that very conversation, I couldn't help noticing how full and resilient were her buttocks and how shapely were her legs in spite of her forty-two years. Here, under my nose all the time, had been a woman without doubt both passionate and imaginative. I laughed at my discovery. How relative is one's vision to one's situation!

As on the previous occasionon the “wedding night,” so to speakI arranged the room with flowers, fruit and wine, strewed cushions about the floor, bathed, put on my bathrobe and prepared for a pleasant afternoon.

Winnie arrived first, alone. She seemed a little nervous. I did my utmost to calm her anxieties.

“Tell me, Winnie,” I said, “are you afraid of me?”

“Oh, no! Not of you, Frank, darling,” cried the sweet child passionately. “I'm just nervous because it is the first time, with anyone else, I mean.”

I told her not to be afraid, that nothing would take place against her will, and asked her if she didn't know me well enough to know that I would stoop to nothing debasing or hurtful. She said that of course she did and that it would give her pleasure to do just what I wanted her to do. I kissed her sweet forehead.

Then I poured her a glass of wine.

“If you are old enough to have your sense of touch delighted,” I said with a smile, “you are old enough to have your sense of taste delighted.”

Winnie laughed merrily.

“Oh, that's all right!” she said. “Father lets me drink wine at dinner!”

“Then perhaps he wouldn't mind your having breakfast with me?” I said jestingly.

Winnie giggled and then said soberly: “Sometimes I think you're the cleverest man in the world, Frank.”

I bowed in mock-acceptance of the compliment. At that moment the bell rang.

“That will be our other guest!” I said with a laugh and went immediately to the door and opened it. Sure enough, it was May in the company of Mrs. Redfern. “If you don't mind, sir,” the good lady said at once, “I'll just attend to the undressing of May while you attend to the disrobing of the other young lady.”

“Just as you think best, Mrs. Redfern.”

“Come, May. Sit down over here with me,” the lady said. May did as she was bid.

Winnie, the soul of sweetness and understanding, came right across to me and said: “You undress me, Frank. It wouldn't be fair to May if I wasn't undressed at the same time.”

May shot her a grateful glance and the two delightful girls smiled at each other. If I had had any compunctions about this meeting, they were gone now, like a dandelion in the wind. I kissed Winnie on the lips and acted the part of her doting valet. Mrs. Redfern did the same for the duskier of my playmates and soon the two houris confronted one another across the room, as stark naked as the first day they were born.

The first words spoken were by Winnie.

“Oh, look at her pussy!” she cried in a shrill voice. “It's been shaved off!”

Mrs. Redfern and I laughed and May blushed prettily.

“It's the custom where she comes from, my dear,” I said, when the humor of the situation allowed.

“Do you like it that way?” Winnie said to May in a friendly, earnest tone of voice.

“I haven't tried the other way!” said May cleverly, and the two of them ran into one another's arms. How pretty they looked, like two little ballet dancers in Swan Lake, only much more beautiful, for the smooth glimmer of their naked flesh made them even more beautiful still.

“And now, you take your clothes off, Frank!” Winnie called out, laughing at me over her shoulder.

I laughed as well. Without delay, and heedless of the fact that Mrs. Redfern was still in the room, I threw off my bathrobe and stood naked in their sight. I was already aroused and the women burst out laughing when they saw me and the way my enraged manhood bobbed in front of my belly.

“Oh really! Mr. Harris!” Mrs. Redfern said.

But without paying attention to her, I moved swiftly across the room and encircled the girls with my arms. We stood in a group, smiling at one another.

“Well really!” Mrs. Redfern said. “If that's going to be the way of it!” And without another word she, too, began to strip. Indeed, I don't think one of us had any desire to make her desist. The girls already had me on the floor and were teasing me by biting me all over. A moment later, Mrs. Redfern, heavily built but very well made and neat in her movements, had thrown herself into the fray. We all rolled over on the carpet and a moment later, with a feeling almost of shock, which soon gave way to delight, I realized that all three of them were seeking to pinion me in erotic clasps to the floor. Mrs. Redfern had taken my cock in her mouth and she lay with the weight of her breasts and upper torso on my thighs, prohibiting the movement of my legs. MayI was able to feel rather than see herwas seated astride my belly and urging me as she would a horse, while Winnie, the devil of the warren, squatted above my head, her taut cunt a sword of Damocles suspended above my face. I laughed merrily and, with a supple twist of my body, unsaddled all three on the rich Indian carpet. They rolled aside, like three impertinent Bacchantes, in a flurry of laughter and naked limbs.

Mrs. Redfern wasted no time. In a trice, she had pinioned her darling May to the floor and began to caress her passionately with tongue and lips. May laughed delightedly as the older woman crushed down on her bald pussy.

But when Mrs. Redfern's darting tongue found the center of her love notch, May's laughter turned to moans of delight. The older woman played her expertly, licking all around the smooth skin of her mount, plunging inside the pouting slit with forceful strokes, while working the girl's clit with an attentive finger. Finally she abandoned the outskirts of May's budding womanhood and devoted herself solely to scouring the tender pink inner membranes with the tip of her tongue. This sent the girl into a paroxysm of ecstasy which threatened to render her unconscious.

Winnie, meanwhile, stood with her hands on her slim hips and surveyed her rival's helplessness with interest and delight. I was reminded at once of some of the legend of Sappho on the fair isle of Lesbos and I couldn't help noticing how superbly the skin colors blended. The skin of Mrs. Redfern was a ruddy pink-white, the shoulders and breasts of her protegee were the color of honey swimming below an untidy tress of raven-black hair, while Winnie, standing slim and independent, was all over a smooth creamy-white.

“Wait a moment,” said Mrs. Redfern suddenly, “I'm going to light a joss stick!” She searched for her handbag, found it, stirred up the contents with her hand and produced a small green box from which she took an incense stick the color of dung and the shape of a stub of pencil. This she stood upright in an ash tray, and she set light to it. Soon a long feather-like plume of sweet smoke rose upward from the glowing tip. The two girls, captivated by it, attempted, by beating their hands in the air, to direct the smoke against their skin.

“It's nice to smell, not to touch,” Mrs. Redfern said dryly.

It was at that moment that Winnie suggested a game of leapfrog. Immediately upon saying it, she bent downward and exhibited one of the most pretty bottoms it has ever been my good fortune to see, lobes as smooth and as compact as large melons gathered prettily about her little rosebud beneath which a wisp of her silky hairs peeped like a goat's beard.

May went first, skipping forward on her bare feet across the carpet and then upward as she cleared the obstacle successfully. She landed about a yard clear, ran forward two steps, and stooped into position herself. Mrs. Redfern went next, clearing both obstacles in spite of her plumpness, without apparent effort. I hesitated long enough only to allow her to settle in position and then hopped twice to pass with my legs astride the girls and take up a position from where I could run to make a leap clear across the fleshy posterior of Mrs. Redfern. SomethingI do not know what until this daymade me hesitate. I found myself making the approach-run too slowly and before I realized what had happened I felt my ramrod fit softly against the warm split in Mrs. Redfern's buttocks. Of course, she thought that my action was intentional and so she raised herself on tiptoes, thrusting out with her warm pulpy buttocks at the same time, so that my cock, distended from so much anticipation, ran sure as a plummet between the thickly-haired flanges of her pussy and did not meet any resistance until it was sunk to the hilt in one of the warmest and juiciest sheaths imaginable. As soon as she felt the meeting of my belly tight against her buttocks, she seemed to knit her lower torso into a knotan amorous clasp I don't doubt she had from a great deal of experienceand I discovered at once that I was stuck fast and firm without the slightest possibility of escape.

At that moment I heard the laughter of the girls. Then Winnie cried: “Go on, dear, give it to her! If I were a man, I would!” Fuck her! We want to see your cock plunging in and out of her.”

Indeed I had little choice. I grasped her by her thick white waist and with short, jabbing strokes began to drill her. She arched up to meet me at each plunge of my cock and fairly threatened to break my poor staff in two with her gyrations and contortions. Her insistent cunt worked me like a stud horse and sucked the sperm from me within moments. I had never experienced anything like itand I'm not sure I'd care to again, so frenzied and enervating was the experience.

I withdrew almost at once. Mrs. Redfern straightened up with a laugh.

“There's life in an old dog yet!” she said gaily. “I hope, Mr. Harris, I won't have to wait so long for your next favor.”

With some misgivings, but as gently as possible, I assured her that she would not have to wait long, that I should certainly not wait until I had been invited.

“I've only known one other man who loved it as much as you do, sir,” she cried, “and that was my late husband. He was tarred with the same black brush!”

“Black indeed!” I cried. “Why black?”

“Oh, Mr. Harris, you're terrible!” said the pretty and ecstatic Mrs. Redfern. She meant it. Truly it is only the bohemian who can be free, not the proletarian. Poor Mrs. Redfern, in spite of the delight which she took in all amorous affairs, was unable to scale off that irritating and essentially ignorant sense of Original Sin. The girls, thank God, were not thus tainted. They enjoyed the whole affair immensely as was obvious from their merry giggles and happy faces, both at the time and afterward.

Our session ended late. Winnie had to hurry so as not to arrive too late for the evening meal at her parents' house. Shortly afterward, Mrs. Redfern left with her pretty May.

When they had gone and I had a moment to relax after my endeavors, it occurred to me that there must have been one time in history, pre-history perhaps, when the full possibilities of a game like leapfrog were not only understood but exploited. The game was certainly known to the Greeks. To what end they played it, apart from its being a species of physical exercise, is unhappily nowhere recorded. Even were it a fact, as some recent historians assert, that the Greek youth indulged in the practice of homosexuality, I would not wish the truth buried in the remote past from which it can never rise up and be good ground for caution in our attitudes, self-control in our behavior, and wisdom in our judgment. The Truth, I have always believed, was never so detrimental to human affairs as was falsity; it should be remembered that if we had all truth, we should be possessed of all understanding. I felt that I had nothing to reproach myself with for the afternoon's pleasures; obviously, we had come together because each of us in his or her heart desired that it should be so. Would it have any effect on the future? Human love is in many ways delicate. Had I transgressed against the inviolable laws of subtlety? I didn't think so and I proved to be right, for the gambol destroyed neither the intimacy between Winnie and me, nor that between myself and dear May. Not a bit of it!

A week later, Mrs. Redfern was all aflame with a new project. The woman was indefatigable in her pursuit of the god Eros. Again, in reference to that lady, I must admit I sensed the taint of an ulterior motive, but I didn't blame her. Everybody is naturally eager to earn all the money he can get. Why then should I have blamed the poor woman? She made a great to-do of something she hoped to bring that would astonish me.

“It's only to be had in the best houses,” she declared.

“What is it?” I wanted to know.

“They call it the hedge-hog,” she replied, “but that tells you nothing. If I can get it for you, you will have to admit that India has taught you one thing worth knowing.”

A few days later she drew out the object she'd named and showed it to me; it was a silver ring with a number of very fine tiny feathers brought in all around it. The ring was not closed, and Mrs. Redfern slipped it over my thumb and said:

“There! If you use that you will make all the girls crazy for you.”

“Really,” I exclaimed, “you mean if I put it on it will give them more pleasure?”

“Try it!” she returned. “Don't tell them, but try and you will soon see that I've made you a wonder worker.”

“All right,” I said, “I'm much obliged to you, and if you turn out to be a good prophet, I'll be liberal with my rewards.”

“I'm sure you will,” she smiled, “but if you would try it the second time instead of the first, I'd feel even surer.”

“Why the second time?” I asked.

“You know perfectly well,” she exclaimed laughing. “You know that nine girls out of ten feel more the second time than they do the first, and if you use my tickler when they are already thrilling, you will have wonderful results. You wait and see!”

“I'll try it this very evening,” I said, “and tomorrow I shall let you know all about it.”

“All right,” she replied, “that will suit me. Meantime, I'm after another instrument that will surprise you still more and make every girl crazy for you.”

“Thanks to you, I laughed, “I think I shall indeed learn something memorable from India.”

“The greatest country in the world,” she said solemnly, “for love-tools, or foods, or excitants; they know more here about sex sensations and how to vivify and intensify them than anywhere else. Try my tickler and you'll see.”

That evening Winnie came to spend a couple of hours with me. At first she seemed less passionate than usualI inserted my fingers, then my cock into her pussy, to little availbut after half an hour or so of love's dalliance, when I thought she had reached the height of feeling, I slipped the ring onto my shaft and penetrated her once again.

In a moment I knew that Mrs. Redfern was justified. Almost at once Winnie spread her thighs feverishly and soon, for the first time, began to move her body uncontrollably and utter strange sounds, now whimpering, now gasping: “Oh! I can't stand it. Oh! Stop, please, or I shall go mad. Oh! Oh! Oh!”

Of course, I didn't stop. Her cries and pleas raised my level of excitation until I pistoned into her uncontrollably. All thought was driven from my head except for the overwhelming need to bury my enormous swollen cock in her tight little cunt.

The tickler had something to do with it, I dare say. The feathers all around the edge stimulated each and every nerve of Winnie's tender flesh as I fucked her. To her it must have seemed as though she were incredibly full of cock that touched her innermost recesses in new and exciting ways.

She was unable to resist the ring, and my lust, for long. I drove into her again and again, feeling the head of my instrument butting the walls of her womb, while she let down of flood of pearly nectar that inundated my candystick. As she did so, she clamped her legs around my back and drew me more deeply into her. This was the final straw, and I began to spurt into her.

When I had finished, I withdrew and removed the tickler and soon Winnie was all questions: “Why did you never make me feel so intensely before? I didn't feel particularly naughty tonight, but you made me lose all self-control. I never enjoyed it so keenly. Oh, you're wonderful, Frank. I'm all yours, you know, but now you've made me crazy. How did you do it so wonderfully?”

Of course, I kept my secret. For Winnie and me it led to an astonishing series of experiences. Passion provokes passion and when one gives intense pleasure, one is summoned to repeat the event. Again and again I used the tickler; varying the motions, the tempo of my pressures and their soft oscillation, and each time with some new thrill of delight. I often heard her cry: “Oh, you are in me and that is Paradise for me! My cunt opens to you, and at the same time you excite me, tease me so that I could bite you. When I am all yours, you make me feel most intensely: I cannot explain.”

At the same time I noticed that as her passion increased, so too did her love; she became radiant, more and more devoted to me and would wait for hours for me to see her. Indeed, it was this trait of absolute devotion which eventually led to our separation.

I resolved now to try the tickler as soon as possible with May. Somehow or other, I felt sure that May's response would be extraordinary, for though I had not yet caused her to lose control, I knew she was passionately endowed; her kisses promised much and after a few kisses she used to tremble from head to foot. It was as though her honey-colored flesh became alive. I could never forget it. So I resolved to use the hedgehog at the proper time. I would beg her to come soon and have a memorable night.

Next day, I gave Mrs. Redfern fifty pounds and asked her to bring May that night. She could not, she told me. She would have to give the girl a couple of days' notice if I wanted her for the whole night. And so it was arranged.

On the appointed evening I made everything ready, down to a divan with a rough tiger skin thrown over it. Such was to be the bower of our bliss. We would make love on the tough hide of the old jungle beast. May delighted with our couchshe couldn't withhold from fingering it with her slender brown fingers.

“I'm glad it's not alive!” she said with a laugh which was all the more attractive for its slightly Oriental quality.

I invited her to get undressed. She did so with alacrity. Once again, the sight of her naked beauty set my blood afire. She must have felt similarly, for the tips of her pert breasts were fiercely erect and the look in her eyes was one of passionate anticipation and submission. Then I lifted her warm body and laid it on top of the harshly striped tiger skin. I bent down over her pale loins and began to excite her with the tip of my tongue. By this time, the hair had grown thinly over the mound and I must say I welcomed the faint and silky chevron which did something at least to lessen the effect of the stubborn, almost unwomanly sex.

Soon she responded with an agitated movement of her haunches, breathing deeply the while and articulating soundless words with her lips. When she was quite excited, I mounted her in the normal way. I fucked her in slow, luxurious fashion, allowing the full length of my cock to enter and withdraw from her while my belly slid along hers. Our pubic bones ground together on the down stroke, and I rotated my hips and mashed myself against her so as to spread the lips of her pussy. The heat rose within me almost at once and I was hard put not to explode within her delightful grotto before we experienced greater pleasure, though I am sure she would have been just as accepting had I selfishly tended to my own needs, for that was her gracious way.

Only then, remembering the advice of Mrs. Redfern, did I attempt to use love's instrument. A few minutes later we were again thrusting passionately against one another, only this time I was armed with the feathered silver ring. She did not respond to its use as quickly as Winnie, nor as passionately. Yet, to my astonishment, she guessed what the instrument was; the priests had educated her sexually to complete understanding. Of course, when I offered her a new dress and a new hat, and a pair of gloves, I found enthusiastic response in her. May was much more susceptible to a financial manifestation of gratitude than to passion.

What curious differences there are in women. Winnie took all such gifts as a matter of course, but responded to a new touch of sensuality as a violin to the bow. Of course, it probably had something to do with the difference in station between the two girls. Passion among the Indians flows free. A gift is more appreciated in the Orient. Naturally, because of the heights of passion and abandon to which I could arouse the dear girl, I often preferred Winnie to May. I have always said that Winnie won me so completely that I never learned India thoroughly; she so obsessed me that I could spare no time for anyone else or any other thing. For those hours that we lay together entwined, I shall be forever grateful to her.

But alas! Her devotion made her family think. Her father had her followed once to my hotel and at length her mother came to me and begged me for the girl's sake to go away and leave her, or she would never be able to get married. It nearly broke my heart to give my consent, but finally I did so and went on to Burma.

Mrs. Redfern was greatly put out by my decision. She advised me not to go to Burma. “It's a filthy place, sir!” she said. If you must go, take my advice and have nothing to do with women while you're there.”

I thanked her for her advice and reiterated my decision to quit Bombay for the sake of Winnie's future. Finally, I think Mrs. Redfern almost came to agree with me that it was the only thing to be done.

In Rangoon there began for me a series of adventures which forced me to the conclusion that the Burmese half-caste girl is one of the most fascinating creatures in God's world, and she is certainly one of the prettiest and best-formed; she is cheap, too. Many are sold at age fifteen to eighteenand even youngerby their parents and seldom cost even twenty pounds. I would have bought many had I known what to do with them afterward, but I hadn't the heart to use them for a short time and then leave them penniless and free in a big city. I was thus limited by a dictate of conscience to buy only those few for whom I could provide after my eventual leave-taking. I hesitated a long time between the numbers of two and three, but finally discretion had the better part of greed and lust, and I decided to content myself with two.

Their names? I forget their original names because I heard them only at the beginning. I decided to call them Rose and Lily. Burning my boats behind me as I do, I had no need of their names, for I had no intention of writing them through the intermediary of a missionary once I was gone. It was unfortunate that we couldn't speak each other's language, but the girls seemed to have a sixth sense of knowing what it was I wanted of them, and they were ever at my side with fruit and other refreshments at the very moment when the desire overtook me. Had I a longer writing life, I would certainly spend one year writing the detailed history of my short marriage to these two Burmese maidens, both barely past their eighteenth year, but I have still much to record and daily, in spite of my will, my sight fails the more. I shall have to content myself with describing one or two of their antics.

Perhaps the strangest was the way they used to love to make a “fur collar” for me with their thighs. This was really a delightful procedure. Literally, they would twine their thighs into a kind of collar for me, my neck clamped between their soft mounds, and my head the only part of me to protrude upward between their dark bellies. The idea was that I should tickle them with my tongue until they allowed me to break free. Without exaggeration I sometimes was forced to struggle with themso tight was their holdfor as much as fifteen minutes.

Another of their favorite tricks was to smear themselves all over with a sweet-smelling oil and then to wrestle with me until the oil from their bodies covered my own. Finally, there is the trick that some Burmese women have of smearing the male member with honey at every opportunity so that it and the female lips it penetrates are always sweet and tasty.

But this was not what I was looking for. I had wearied of passion, with Winnie, with May, with Rose and Lilythe old wanderlust was awake in me. This time it was Japan and China that called. My time for traveling was limited, so I resolved to move on.

One thing I might make mention of: The custom of living with native women and having half-breed children is practiced by Englishmen and Americans throughout the East. The children are superb. The Eurasian girl or boy in Burma is often an excellent specimen, both physically and mentally. It is unfortunate that the girl's lot is almost always unhappy and often tragic. This leads me to say that the complete understanding given by the Oriental mind to the act of love is in my opinion connected with the depths of spirit attained by certain of the eastern Holy Men. The Westerner is often shallow beside the Easterner. Which only goes to show the truth of one of my lifelong thesesthat a healthy sexual life is the prerequisite of a healthy spirit. What do I mean by “spirit”? To that question I shall offer at least part answer in the next chapter.

I shall end here by saying that I believe Keats could be called as a witness for the defense of my point of view. Who can recall the lines of Ode on a Grecian Urn, an ode to the beauty of Greek youth, and still disagree?

O Attic shape! Fair attitude! with breed

Of marble men and maidens overwrought,

With forest branches and the trodden weed:

Thou, silent form, dost tease us out of thought

As doth eternity

And he ends rightly with:

Beauty is truth, truth beautythat is all

Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

I thought of Keats quite frequently while on my travels. Burma struck me at once as a country whose gorgeous vegetation would have held magnificence for this most lush of English poets.

CHAPTER IV

In my quarter of a century in London there were at least two men of conspicuous ability who came to the front by proclaiming the certainty of life after death. The one was a Mr. Sinnett who preached in a new magazine entitled Broad Views. “I know people,” he said boldly, “who not only remember their past lives, but are in a position, if it were worthwhile, to write a complete diary of every day of those antenatal lives. For all persons the faculty in due course of time will come.”

Every soul now being born into the world, Mr. Sinnett insisted, went out of the world from 1,500 to 2,000 years ago. We are therefore all contemporaries of the Apostles and the Caesars, and the antenatal autobiographies of some of us ought to be worth reading. Dr. Anna Kingsford believed she was a reincarnation of Plato, and Mrs. Besant is said to be Hypatia come to life again, but these are mere assertions.

Mr. Sinnett sets forth “what happens to the soul after the death of the body. The experiences that come on first when a human soul is emancipated from the prison of the flesh are not of a very exalted order. As consciousness fades from the physical vehicle, it carries with it the finer sheath of astral matter which has interpenetrated the coarser physical vehicle during life, and in this ethereal but still quite material envelope, it exists for a time in the region commonly called the astral plane.

“On the astral plane the soul, in a vehicle of consciousness which is insusceptible to heat or cold, incapable of fatigue, subject to no waste, and therefore superior to the necessity of taking food, continues an existence for a variable period which in many of its aspects is so like the life just abandoned that uninstructed people who pass over find it impossible to believe that they are what is called dead. But that state of things, though, as it grows familiar, and as the field of view is enlarged, may be agreeable enough, and may be associated with the renewal of friendships and affections interrupted for a time by death, is not the stage of things that corresponds to the Heaven of religious teaching.

“Nothing that has ever been said from the religious point of view concerning the blissful condition of the soul in Heaven involves any exaggeration. On the contrary, the basic fact connected with existence on the plane of nature corresponding to the Heaven of theology is bliss, absolute, complete and unalloyed.”

But surely the methods of nature provide for all cases, and not merely for those of the spiritual aristocracy. What are we to think of the condition in Heaven of, let us say, a drunken coal heaver, whose earthly life has been anything but meritorious. Mr. Sinnett might reply that even in such a man's life there may have been some little gleam of spiritual feeling, something resembling love for a woman or a child.

Mr. Sinnett concludes by declaring that this theory of his “is not theory at all, but a living fact of consciousness" still to most of us as yet it is only a theory and hardly even plausible.

Plainly the whole hypothesis depends on the antenatal biographers and they are conspicuous by their absence.

The second person to preach Eternal Life was a Frederic Myers who was much more scientific than Sinnett, if I may be forgiven for using such a word to describe either of these dreamers. His book, Human Personality and Its Survival of Bodily Death, is, he tells us, the result of thirty years' close study and serious thought.

Myers declares that “messages of the departing and departed have actually proved: a) Survival pure and simple; the persistence of the spirit's life as a structural law of the universe; the inalienable heritage of each several soul. b) In the second place, these messages prove that between the spiritual and the material worlds an avenue of communication does in fact exist, that which we call the dispatch and the receipt of telepathic messages, or the utterance and the answer of prayer and supplication. c) In the third place, they prove that the surviving spirit retains, at least in some measure, the memories and the loves of earth. Without this persistence of love and memory should we be in truth the same?” Finally he declares that “every element of individual wisdom, virtue, love, develops in infinite evolution toward an ever-highering hope, toward Him who is at once thine innermost Self and thine ever unattainable Desire.”

But all this is founded on the slightest basisis indeed mere assertion. The whole theory is as fantastic and absurd as that of Sinnett. It only shows the intense human desire to live again after this life, but after thousand of years of study we have not the slightest proof of any such existence.

A little later there was much stronger testimony: Sir Oliver Lodge who succeeded Frederic Myers as President of the Society for Psychical Research and a few years later as Head of the British Association, made some startling statements which his position rendered extremely important. He stated boldly that “personality persists beyond bodily death.” Bergson made as positive an assertion to the same effect only a short time before in an address to the Society for Psychical Research. But Lodge went further and his words carried weight. He said: “The evidence to my mind goes to prove that discarnate intelligence, under certain conditions, may interact with us on the material side, thus indirectly coming within our scientific ken, and that gradually we may hope to attain some understanding of the nature of a larger, perhaps ethereal, existence and of the conditions regulating intercourse across the chasm. A body of responsible investigators has even now landed on the treacherous but promising shores of a new continent. Yes, there is more to say than that. The methods of science are not the only way, though they are our way, of being piloted to truth.”

He was asked if he could tell of his investigations. “Not yet,” he answered, “one must wait a little longer; but I am convinced that those on the other side are trying to speak to us, and that they are doing all in their power to help us.”

And he went on: “When the time comes in which men not only think or hope that they survive death, but when they know it, know it is a fact of life, then many of our problems will solve themselves. For it is inconceivable that men thus convinced of Immortality should lack the spirit of fellowship; inconceivable, surely, that they should depress each other, struggling for material enjoyments which entail suffering on their fellow creatures. One believes, as Christ believed, that Brotherhood among men absolutely depends upon faith in a divine Fatherhood; the whole labor of Christ's teaching was to persuade men to believe in the existence of a God in order that they might live on the earth as the sons of one Father. Because we have grown to be incurious about life after death, life here and now has assumed the dangerous characteristics which are at present troubling the politicians. Social existence is organized almost entirely on an animal basis; struggle for existence is still one of our main conditions; the dignity of life tends to disappear more and more with the stability of the social order; men are not now so concerned about character, about real values, as about money and enjoyment. This is why I regard the labor of psychical research as so well worthwhile; it is a labor which ought to result in restoring to mankind a sense of Infinitythat sense of greatness, the grandeur, and the dignity of existence without which poetry must perish, the imagination wither, and the human species sink into a miserable condition of animal degradation.”

These are weighty words: No such dignified pronouncement has been made in our time. And though I should like to believe that “personality persists after death,” and though I believe that all manner of good would come from the faith, I cannot believe. I often wish I could.

I find myself in closer agreement with Maeterlinck who wrote a series of articles on “Life after Death” in The Fortnightly Review during 1913. He begins by declaring that he has “no reluctance to admit the survival and the intervention of the dead, but it is for the spirit, or for those who make use of its name, first to prove that the dead really exist.”

He sums up: “The spiritualist follow the tracks of our dead for a few seconds, in a world where seconds no longer count, and then they abandon them in the darkness.

“The fact remains that this inability to go even a few years beyond the life after death detracts greatly from the interest of their experiments and revelations; at best, it is but a short space gained, and it is not by this juggling on the threshold that our fate is decided. I am ready to go through what may befall me in the short interval filled by those revelations, as I am even now going through what befalls me in my life. My destiny does not lie there, nor my home. The facts reported may be genuine and proved; but what is even much more certain is that the dead, if they survive, have not a great deal to teach us, whether because, at the moment when they can speak to us, they have nothing to tell us, or because, at the moment when they might have something to reveal to us, they are no longer able to do so, but withdraw forever and lose sight of us in the immensity which they are exploring.”

Even Maeterlinck here seems to believe more than I can credit.

It is true that Alfred Russel Wallace believed devoutly in a life after death and believed too, as I have told, that there was continual communication between the dead and the living. But I strained ears in vain and remained at long last a confirmed skeptic. Meredith, too, another wise man, believed in a Divine Providence and the gradual disappearance from this life of all that was maimed or wrong. I could hardly rise to that height of faith. Wise men, I saw, were instruments of good in life and might yet lift this earthly life to a high plane of enjoyment and spiritual growth; but even this appeared to me doubtful and I could find no trace of a God in nature, no hope of a life after death for man. Skepticism was rooted in my nature.

Small wonder that Professor Metchnikoff, one of the greatest modern scientists, declares that “since the awakening of the scientific spirit in Europe, it has been recognized that the promise of a future life has no basis of fact to support it. The modern study of the functions of the mind has shown beyond all question that these are dependent on the functions of the body, in particular of those of the central nervous system.”

I cannot understand why we hesitate to explain life according to our present knowledge. There is no trace of an omnipotent or all-good God to be found anywhere in life; but there is everywhere in animals, as in insects, abounding evidence of a creative impulse, and impulse that is the chief source of our bodily pleasures and is at the same time the soul, so to speak, of all our highest spiritual joys. To deny this universal creative impulse would be as ridiculous, it seems to me, as to talk of goodness in creation.

There are two other facts that appear to consort better with our wishes; we seem to be able to trace hierarchy in living creatures and it is fairly plain that the tenure of life corresponds roughly to this hierarchy. That is, the highest or most complicated creatures live the longest. Furthermore the highest in the hierarchy, men and women, are also the kindliest, the most unselfish, in short the most moral, or rather the only ones in whom morality can be said to exist.

We have then in life a universal creative impulse and this impulse satisfies itself in producing higher and higher creatures; or, if you will, more and more complex creatures, and these creatures in proportion to their complexity live longer than the others and finally develop a morality of kindness and unselfishness which the other creatures know little or nothing about.

There is a certain order in the universe, a rude imperfect order, if you will, but order neverthelessorder and law.

And strange to say, in this cosmos ruled by law, there are continued revelations of pure beauty; now a sunset or sunrise; again a coastline framing a dark blue ocean transfigured by silvery moonlight; or a mountain gorge with pine-clad heights and shadowy depths holding a little rivulet; or simply a superb man's figure or the soul-glow in a girl's eyes. Beauty everywhere, without order of any kind or law that we can detect.

Now is the creative impulse to stop and be satisfied with men and women? That is a question we cannot answer from experience. Some say the creative impulse is committed by its very nature to an endless succession of cycles. I see no reason to believe this; rather I believe that the best men will sooner or later get together and transform this world of ours into an Earthly Paradise by making men and women better and wiser than we can easily imagine them today. It seems so simple to begin by abolishing war and doing away with armies and navies while spending the money thus saved on the education and development of the many. We could thus put an end to poverty and know nothing more of the millionaire or the starving child, and every foot of progress upward would make the next step easier, the good result more certain. The heaven dreamed of can be realized here on this earth and in man's lifetime if we set ourselves to the work.

One cannot resist the question: Are we tending to this goal or are we merely taking our wishes for the spirit and purpose of the Universe? Even so, it may be that our unselfish desires are themselves prophetic of the future.

It looks as if the creative impulse we have found everywhere in life is working out its own fulfillment. How else can we explain the fact that the best men, centuries after their death, are selected out and adored as Gods, their teaching even becoming our example and inspiration?

In truth, we men are called and chosen to a purpose higher than our consciousness. The creative impulse, if not God, is at least a conscious striving to reach the highest. We must cooperate with this impulse and do our best to make this life worth living for all and so turn men and women into ideals and this earthly pilgrimage of ours into a sacred achievement.

CHAPTER V

It was in Shanghai that I first learned that various poisons and aliments are supposed to increase desire or intensify sensation, but I found them no more efficacious than the spiritual theories of Mr. Sinnett. Indeed, in time I came to explain the wide use of drugs throughout China with reference to the curious insensitiveness of Chinese women.

I was taken by a Chinese I met shortly after my arrival from Burma to one of the famous “opium dens” for which China is famous. Frankly, I was very disappointed. I achieved neither the desired physical effect nor that intense state of clear vision attained by Coleridge on the eve on which he wrote “Kubla Khan.” I smoked the prescribed twenty pipes again and again without ever achieving either object.

This was especially true in regards to sex. My friend had obtained a young Chinese woman for me. When I was “high” I was to make love to her. We were taken to the place of our assignation in a rickshaw and once in the room, the Chinese girl immediately put herself at my disposal. A few words of description would not be out of place since, in spite of the fact that I was disappointed with the effect the drug had on me, the girl herself was the picture of loveliness.

She lay cool and naked as yellow marble on the gaudy red-covered divan, her little hands crossed on her full breast and her legs together. Her nipples were large and dark, though they were not engorged, even when I removed my clothes and I stood naked before her, my cock standing straight out in anticipation of the pleasure to come. Her hair was thick and lay in crushed tresses under her back. Between her thighs, under a glossy chevron of hair, her pussy lips were obvious, larger than I personally would have expected, but pretty and warmly moist to the touch. But she made no response as I laid my hand on her mount She remained as cool as a cucumber through the entire operation.

Only the slightest tremor passed through her limbs as I applied my lips to hers, and even when I hovered on the verge of fucking her, it was merely a matter of opening her legs. She had gathered her knees up and they fell open like the pages of a heavy book. I shrugged and moved up closer to her slit, placing the head of my cock against that warmly throbbing entrance. Usually, it has been my experience that a woman will respond to this with either some gesture or word, or even a moan signaling her rising passion. But with this one there was nothing. I entered her slowly, studying her eyes, which remained expressionless through the entire affair. I pumped her slowly, then hard, almost brutally, in an effort to elicit some sort of response. When I reached forward and took her breasts in my hands and squeezed the nipples, not harshly, I thought I saw a flicker of emotion, perhaps discomfort, but she soon reverted to type. I sighed inwardly and simply continued to saw between her legs.

For myself, I soon arrived at the point at which I wished for the frantically passionate limbs of Winnie, or of some other almost perfect mistress, but was met in my flood instead by the same soft impassivity which I came to think of as being characteristic of Chinese women. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but that does not detract from the validity of the broad generalization. This girl, like many other girls I met in China, seemed to be entirely without passion, and the drug, in spite of the fact that I had followed all instructions given to me with the utmost care, had no effect whatsoever on the intensity of my orgasm.

I was indeed slightly disgusted by the whole affair afterwards. Its passivity, its obvious one-sidedness, struck me as coming very close to the kind of thing I have always been at pains to avoid. For me, love must froth into intensity from “twin rills;” that is why I have always considered prostitution to be sordid.

Those who delivered their speeches on the virtue of drugs were not satisfied. My friend in particular felt that I ought to give it another trial. I did so, but with similar results. In the end, I could see no point in my trying again. Then someone told me that I should have tried cocaine. Once again, giving my advisor the benefit of the doubt, I submitted to the test. The effect was slightly different but, if anything, made me feel even less passionate than I was under opium; it was just as inoperative. Finally, an English doctor who had lived for years in Peking, vaunted the benefits of ether, and in this case I am bound to say I could trace a distinct stimulation of desire. But this good result was offset by the evil effect of the intoxicant itself. For a couple of days afterwards I felt sick and out of sorts. I was unable to work and had no mind at all for love. In conclusion, no drug or poison seems to be worth recommending.

Exciting foods and drinks were to me just as disappointing. There is one thing, however, I do find worth mentioning.

In Peking one day, I was shown an apparatus which deserves description as it was intended to give pleasure to Chinese women. It consisted of an oval-shaped ball, or rather a kind of egg in silver or ivory, the size of a small fowl's egg. The Chinese screw off the top of the egg and fill it half-full of mercury, then screw it up again and grease it carefully.

The woman puts it into her pussy and stretches herself on a rocking chair, giving it a swinging movement to and fro. This rocking provokes the alternative moving of mercury to one end and the other of the egg, making it slide about in the soft canal and producing a special sort of sexual excitement. The oval end helps the slipping out of the apparatus when the woman gets up.

I had such an egg for a long time in my possession. In fact, I had several of them, but I have given them all away. I must admit that their action is marvelous. This history of my last egg is worth recording.

I had perhaps six or seven in my possession when I returned to England, five of which I left there in the hands of a woman I knew in London who afterwards, and very dishonestly, sold them for the astounding price of fifty pounds each. Believing myself to have five kept safely in England, I took two to America with me, one of which I couldn't resist parting with to a sweet Brazilian woman whom I met on the boat. We had great fun with it. The other I smuggled safely past Customs and carried with me to New York. Naturally, as it was the last I had with mealas! it was the last I was ever to seeI deliberated for a long time before parting with it. There were three ladies who competed for the favorGloria S., a model, Joan B., a chorus girl, and Elsa M., a married woman whose husband appeared to be completely asexual. Frankly, I had decided in favor of the last from the beginning. She, poor soul, had most need of it. The other two had plenty of male admirers only too willing to be of service to them. But somehow or other, I had made up my mind that Elsa would have to earn it. For all I knew, it was the only such egg in existence in America!

I showed it to her one day.

“Oh, how exciting! Is it for me?”

I laughed banteringly. “Do you think you deserve it?” I said with a tone of insinuation.

“How can you say such a thing?” Elsa cried. “You've had your way with me for over a month now. What more can I do to earn it?”

“We shall see,” I said mysteriously.

A week latershe was frantic for it by that timeI laid down the following conditions. She was to invite at least eight guests to dinner including myself. Then after dinner, she was to retire and insert the egg, returning to the sitting room where I would be guarding the rocking chair against all comers. When she came in, I would rise and offer her the chair which she would accept, and then, in front of her husband and her guests, she was to move to and fro on the rocking chair until she achieved an orgasm.

Elsa laughed happily, evidently taking as much pleasure as I did in the idea of doing anything so daring in a conventional sitting room. The dinner was arranged and on the appropriate evening I wrapped the greased egg in glass paper and carried it to her house. She received it from me without a word and went about attending to the guests who had already arrived.

Her husband was a bluff, hearty man in his early forties, an insurance agent, I believe. I smiled to myself when I thought of how shocked he would be if his wife were to tell him of our project. After dinner, the guests retired to the sitting room where one of them sat down and played a few airs on the piano. Elsa, as good as her word, disappeared for five minutes and returned to the room. No one glanced at us as I stood up and saw her comfortably seated in the rocking chair. I pressed her hand and retired to a spectator's seat.

The rocking chair began to move, Elsa's eyes closed, and the intimate oscillation began. At first no one noticed, and then, gradually, amidst the strains of Sinding's “Rustle of Spring,” it became apparent to all present that Elsa was breathing heavily. At first, the guests affected not to notice. They made a conscious effort to concentrate on the music which came from the piano, but Elsa's eyes were now tightly closed, her jaw set, and a slight tenseness was evident at her temples. Her breathing became labored. At last, in obvious alarm, her husband rose and tiptoed quietly across to her.

“Elsa, dearElsa!”

The only answer was a delirious groan which caused the pianist to capitulate completely. The piano was silent. All eyes turned to take in the scene of the panting wife and the embarrassed husband who took hold of one of Elsa's hands and began slapping it in a ridiculous and futile way.

“Shall I send for the doctor, darling?”

There was no answer. Elsa was now smiling happily and she lay back in the chair, her eyes closed, without movement.

It was time for me to intervene.

“A spell of giddiness evidently,” I said in a professional tone. All eyes gratefully received the information which, although it explained nothing, appeared to do so. “I think perhaps if the guests were to” I left my sentence unfinished.

“Of course. Of course.” They were already taking their leave, talking in hushed tones and apologizing for their presence to Elsa's husband. He shook each hand in turn, in a daze.

While he was seeing them out, Elsa removed the egg, winked at me, and relaxed in her chair. I met her husband on his return.

“There's no necessity to call a doctor,” I said as impressively as possible. “I have ascertained the cause. It is a kind of nervous fatigue. Your dear wife would be the better for a short holiday.”

“If you think so, Mr. Harris. We'll arrange it at once. Poor Elsa. What a fright she gave us all!”

I bade them goodnight and took my leave, well pleased with the success of my practical joke. To this day I am quite sure not one of those people suspect what the exact nature of the “malady” was. Elsa went for a fortnight's holiday to Maine. Her husband remained in New York. She and I spent two idyllic weeks by the sea.

So much for the egg. It was one of the few interesting things that came out of my China visit. The truth is, I had gone to China full of hope. Was that not the destination of the great Marco Polo? The account of his adventures had been with me almost since childhood. Thus, it is understandable that I came away from that country more deeply disappointed than I can say. I had looked upon Lao-Tse as one of the greatest of thinkers. I knew that here and there were wonderful works of art; I felt sure I would meet men and women on the topmost levels of life, and, if I must confess it, I was certain that some woman at least would give me unforgettable hours. Well, on my second visit to China I spent nearly a year in the country. I never met a great man, and only one woman who could find a place in my picture gallery. And even that one will remain anonymous.

Yet here and there I was brought to admiration. I got to know a man in the north of China who had the most wonderful carpets in the world. One he showed me I must describeit was some three centuries old, all deep blue and straw colored with an astonishing depth of texture, and across the center of the blue a hesitating path perhaps a foot broad, where the blue was worn down to pale amber. When I asked him why it was like that, he replied simply: “That is the way to the Lord's chair worn by innumerable feet in three hundred years.”

Now and then, but too rarely, I came across some word or thought worthy of Lao-Tse himself. I remember very well how my friend who owned the carpets told me once that China was the most moral country in the world. “Time and again,” he said, “we have been assaulted and invaded. We always drive the intruder back, but we never take possession of his country in revenge as European nations do. Believe me, we Chinese are the only people who are above revenge.”

It seemed to me a great observation. And history bore it out. I often asked myself whether it could have anything to do with the strangely hidden sexual life of China. What, after all, has been written about it? The absence of collated evidence was always a surprise to me, but only up until the day when I came to gather together my own memories and impressions. All the world has heard of the Japanese geishas, and I shall have something to say of them when I come to write down my experiences in Japan, but one could search for a lifetime without finding their counterpart in China.

A hundred times I was astonished by the coldness of Chinese girls and women. They would give themselves easily enough, as simply indeed as the Indian of the bazaar, but they did not even pretend to feel any pleasure, much less indulge in any orgasm. I was never more patient with women in my life, using every refinement garnered from a long life of practical love, but I continued to be disappointed, and in every case my fears were justified. That is to say, I came to expect disappointment and I was seldom even slightly surprised. After a few months, I began to regard them with complete indifference. When I picked one out because of her eyes or mouth or complexion, I did so more like a butcher than a lover, so the whole affair lacked that hard gem-like quality of the real act of love.

Of course, I did not know the language, and so the indifference of the women is partly explained. Much of my success in the Anglo-Saxon countries can no doubt be attributed to the fact that I approached the women with the articulateness of a practiced writer. Still, I cannot but regard Chinese women as the coldest of the Children of Eve.

Some of them were beautiful. As a rule, the eyes were funny and there were few faces that would seem to a European ideally lovely, but now and then even that happened. I would suddenly be struck by the superb grace of the facial bone structure, or by the wet fullness of lips. Far more frequently, the figures were perfectly formed even according to our Western standards. The women were for the most part small, but their buttocks would be perfectly spheroid, soft and firm at the same time, and their naked bellies, almost innocent of hair, were smooth and perfect in their warm plasticity. Their breasts were perhaps the most attractive part of them; firm, with almost mauve nipples, held highly on their upper torsos, rather larger than those generally to be found on European women. They were very beautiful. But passion, real sensual feeling, was far more rare than the perfections of physique: Only now and again did I come across it, and then usually in the most unlikely surroundings.

I remember once going home with a pretty woman in Peking. She spoke a few words of English and paralyzed me by asking for her “little present” first. Shrugging my shoulders, I gave her a couple of pounds which seemed to please her greatly and put me even more on my guard. Love that is bought is not only usually passionless, it is also dangerous from the point of view of physical health. I made up my mind to take every precaution and use a sheath on my cock. I followed her into a rather dingy dwelling place, her small steps falling like a passionless refrain, like lead on my enthusiasm. But when we came to the bedroom I was astonished to find a young girl just entering womanhoodperhaps seventeenin the bed.

“My daughter,” said the woman. “She is sleeping and won't know anything. You don't mind?”

“No,” I said, but in fact I did. I made love very mechanically, taking care to use the sheath. I was afraid to vary the motion and intensity of my strokes for fear of waking the angelic girl beside us. I simply fucked her steadily in traditional fashion until my come bubbled from me with the same lack of enthusiasm that I'd demonstrated in performing the act. Then, when my cold little lover fell asleep, I lay awake and stared at the ceiling.

I was sleepless for hours. Then, all of a sudden, I became aware that the daughter was looking at me with wide, smiling eyes. As soon as our glances met, she came nearer to me and, as I stretched out my hand, she put it against her breasts. I caressed them softly. They were not yet fully mature, pale yellow discs of extraordinary beauty on which the nipples were just spreading and darkening. A lust for her mounted in me. Here was beauty indeed! Beauty, young and confiding, loveliness which, being as yet unspoiled, could be molded into mature passion with a little patience and doting love. I took the hardening tips of her breasts in my mouth and caressed them with an almost religious gentleness. She responded by breathing more heavily and by closing her huge, darkly-lashed eyes. I reached out with my arm and drew her slim, young body close. The skin was moist with a light sweat, but smelled pure and clean at the same time. Her lank little thighs closed round one of mine to bring her soft, almost unhaired cunt firmly against the muscles of my leg. Then she directed my mouth against hers and coaxed me to kiss her softly and with growing voluptuousness.

What a find! What an incredible coincidence! To be seduced and disappointed by the mother, only to find oneself an hour later in the sweetly adoring arms of the daughter! I caressed her dry little pussy slit with my fingers until it was wet. My fingers moved smoothly inwards to one of the tightest tunnels it had ever been my good fortune to discover. She whimpered slightly as I eased gently in and out.

Suddenly, she made me desist, got up from the bed, arranged a heap of bedclothes on the floor away from her mother, and drew me down to her. I spent the next half hour kissing her delightful body. A more delicate instrument of love it would have been difficult to find. She responded warmly to every caress and to every exploration of her clitoris. How sweet and touching it was when finally, in response to so much lovemaking, she rolled over on her back and placed my ramrod at her tight little entrance.

Clasping the buttocks underneath, I prepared myself, knowing that in these things hesitation is love's worst enemy. I whispered softly in her ear, words which I'm not sure she understood, but it didn't matter. Without further delay, I thrust forward brutally and embedded my member up to the hilt in her soft flesh. She uttered one long moan, almost like the noise a queen cat makes the first time it knows a male. Then, when she became used to the presence of the foreign body within her cleft and close to the deepest part of her, I eased inwards and outwards slowly, working up to a gradual compact rhythm which she appeared to welcome avidly. I felt her little nails bite deeply into my shoulders as bravely she tried to contain her pain. But as the movement became easier, the grip of her fingers relaxed and her hands, as delicate as butterfly wings, caressed the close-knit sensuality of my buttocks, to urge me to complete her violation. That first violation, if not grasped courageously by a male who is not afraid to assert himself, can be ruined utterly, setting up innumerable complexes in a young soul which only needs to be treated surely and tenderly to open outwards into life like a magnificent flower. Beware of pity, of sentimentality at such times. That has ever been my motto, and I have never found cause to regret it. So I fucked her forcefully, ramming my stiff pole in and out in a paroxysm of lust. A few moments later, this delicious creature was meeting my thrusts like a woman long-accustomed, to the movements of love. I continued to pump her, exploring her cavern with the full length of my cock, slamming my belly against hers until my balls flopped against her smooth upturned buttocks.

I had turned to her and had found to my astonishment an extraordinary mistress, passionate at once and devoted, who apparently had mastered the whole art of love. This girl not only gave herself with complete abandon, but sought at the same time to excite her lover to the utmost and to give him every possible thrill. She spoke English, too, far better than her mother, and I soon came to the conclusion that her whole sexual nature had been abnormally developed by her mother's practices.

When I offered her money, she did not wish to take it, but wanted to know my hotel and the number of my room and whether she might come there the next day and at what hour. Of course, I fixed a time and was at the door waiting for her.

I think it is worth mentioning the strange manner in which she felt it necessary to express her devotion to me. She allowed me to undress her. But from there on she would allow me to do nothing. She removed my clothes, made me sit on an armchair and then sat down between my knees. With unutterable grace and tenderness she encouraged my passion to rise, stroking me with her fingers over all the surfaces of my groin, until I was standing mightily. I tried to raise her, but she made me desist, bent over, took me between her soft little lips and sent a hundred little darts of sensuality coursing through my sex. Gradually, I realized her purpose. She wished to accept my sperm in her mouth to prove the depth of her passion for me. As soon as that thought occurred to me, I relaxed in the chair. First, however, she straddled the chair and my thighs and lowered herself onto my enraged manhood. It disappeared entirely into her tight canal and the tingling that so quickly brought me to the heights of passion began almost at once. Then she raised herself without proceeding further in that fashion. She didn't hesitate to take my shaft from her pussy and bring it to her lips, all slicked up and dripping as it was. She sucked the head gently, admiring the angry red color of the velvety skin that deepened to purple before her eyes. Then she licked along the ridge that ran beneath the lance to the balls, alternating long, wet lashes with short, flicking strokes. I raised my hips under this exquisite torment and in response, she plunged her head down and swallowed me whole. Her head began to piston up and down as she fucked me with her mouth and throat. I felt myself utterly lose control and allowed the growth of the flood in my member which, a moment later, shuddered to its foundations as the slick flow of my passion thrust upwards into her doting mouth. When she felt it arrive, she swallowed voraciously, her eyes flickering with tenderness and her cool palms supporting between my thighs and urging the last drop of my vital fluid to flow upwards to her mouth. Only then did she rise and kiss me on the lips, almost as a religious neophyte will kiss the image of his god, and I took her on my knee and again we slowly excited one another towards love.

All the months I was in Peking I used to see her nearly every day. It was she who convinced me that passion and devotion, hard as they are to find there, are not unknown in China. She was the very soul of love.

Strange to say, she wanted a child, but there I could not agree. “If you had a child,” I said, “I should be tied to Peking always and I must eventually go away.”

“Then you don't love me,” was her reply.

“Oh yes I do,” I answered.

But I felt always that she had the best of the argument.

One day she told me that her mother, discovering what we were about, had asked for money. Naturally, I gave with both hands. No price within my power would have been too high for the pure and real devotion which she had for me. She was an adorable mistress.

One evening she wanted to know if I would like her better if she took all the hairs off her pussy as many women did. I said no, that I liked her better as she was, but she went on earnestly: “I have the salve and I shall use it if you say so. You know, there is nothing I would not do to keep your lovenothing!” I kissed her tenderly. If ever I was tempted to give up my life in which the wanderlust played so great a part, I was tempted then. The girl's love was infinite. I felt suddenly almost basely materialistic in the face of such passion. What more could a man desire? But then, we must face reality. My life's work was elsewhere. This affair, almost saintly as it was, could represent to a man like me no more than a pleasurable interlude. The problems of the world recalled me, like the voice which called Moses to his task. I faced up to the real, as all really dedicated men have in the past. It was high time to shake myself out of my lethargy and give more purpose, more depth and meaning, to my intellectual life. But parting from her was the hardest task I had in all my travels. When I finally left, I did so with a heavy heart.

Fortunately, I found an old banker who gave her from me a yearly pension. Three years afterwards she married an American and I had a letter from her in due course declaring that she was very happy and about to have a child.

Before going on to Japan, I stayed for a couple of months with an English friend and his wife in Hong Kong, but the residence there made little or no impression on me. They told me I should find nothing worthwhile in Japan, but in that they were not soothsayers. Still, for the time being, they gave me rest and change and I was in need of both.

I write all of these things quite frankly because I believe that Puritanism is not only dead, but deserved to die, and I feel sure that bodily pleasures of all sorts will be more and more sought after in the future.

CHAPTER VI

Looking back over my life, I realize with dismay that there are many people and places of which I have not had the opportunity to speak. In this volume therefore there was from the beginning a kind of dual purpose. In the first place, I wished to continue the true story of my life and loves and, in the second, to make up for the unfortunate omissions in the earlier volumes I'd written. Thus, formally speaking, this last, and in a sense, most final of my expressions, will doubtless lack the purposeful continuity of the earlier. In a summing up, that is only to be expected. I make no apologies for it. I should be untrue to my purpose were I to do otherwise than I am doing. For the truth is that I am not satisfied with what I have written; I might have done it better. I am obsessed by the desire to make each chapter of this volume memorable by some new thought.

The greatest omission as I see it has been amongst some of the great names with whom I was off and on acquainted throughout my colorful life. Without hesitation, therefore, and despising a mechanical chronology, I move now into the consideration of some of the men who have inspired me and whom, not seldom, I have numbered among my friends.

I was more interested in Meredith than in any other man of my time. I thought him one of the greatest of men, worthy to stand with Shakespeare and Wordsworth. He was one of the handsomest of men, just above middle height, slight and strong of figure with a superb head and face, the head all outlined in graying hair, but excellently shaped and the face noblestraight nose, incomparable blue eyes, now laughing, now pathetic, excellent mouth and chinin sum a very good-looking man, sane and strong. When Grant Allen sent him one of my earliest stories, “Montes the Matador,” he praised it as better than the “Carmen” of Merimee because, he explained, I had given even the bulls individuality. He ended his praise with the words: “If there is any hand in England that can do better, I don't know it.” As I have said somewhere, I regarded that judgment as my knighting. No contempt touched me afterwards; Meredith to me already stood among the greatest.

Born in 1828, he brought out his first book of Poems in 1851 and I think he was always more of a poet than a prose writer. But good as his best poetry iseven “Love in the Valley” has stanzas I can never forget and Modern Loves with the entrancing “Margaret's Bridal Eve” is greater still; yet neither in poetry nor in prose has Meredith reached the highest or given his full measure.

The reason always escaped me. When I knew him first about 1885 he was the reader for Chapman and Hall and made his?500 or?600 a year out of this easily enough while his books added perhaps as much more to his income. He had a house on Box Hill in Surrey, and lived like a modest country gentleman. Nothing in his circumstances hindered him from reaching Cervantes or Shakespeare.

His conversation was astonishing. He touched everything that came up from the highest standpoint; he praised the Irish as if he had been bred in Ireland and the Welsh as if from the highest of the Celtic stock. Once indeed he went so far as to suggest merrily that the English should invade France in order to get some French women to enlarge their matter of fact narrowness of mind. He was in favor of the Boers too, and a passionate advocate of women's suffrage; he wanted feminine influence in government as in the home. Once he went so far as to advocate the making of Britain into one state of the American Union, “the Eastern Star in the Banner of the Republic,” as he said, for he was profoundly convinced that the British were dropping back, were indeed no longer leaders of the world. “Their fatal lack of imagination,” he said, “dwarfs them.” In every question he was an unprejudiced and most interesting guide.

Every man he mentioned lived unforgettably in his judgment. Who can ever forget his criticism of Tennyson's “dandiacal flutingthe great length of his mild fluency, the yards of linen drapery for the delight of women.” And then “the praises of the book shut me away from my fellows,” and the superb return: “To be sure, there is the magnificent Lucretius.” Then he sees Irving as Romeo: “No loveplay but a pageant with a quaint figure ranting about.” His judgment of Gladstone: “This valiant, prodigiously gifted, in many respects admirable old man is, I fear me, very much an actor.”

And finally he touches the height in a letter to his son:

“Don't think that the obscenities mentioned in the Bible do harm to children. The Bible is outspoken upon facts, and rightly. It is because the world is pruriently and stupidly shamefaced that it cannot come in contact with the Bible without convulsions.

“Look for the truth in everything and follow it, and you will then be living justly before God. Let nothing flout your sense of a Supreme Being, and be certain that your understanding wavers whenever you chance to doubt that he leads to good. We grow to good as surely as the plant grows to the light. The school has only to look through history for a scientific assurance of it. And do not lose the habit of praying to the unseen Divinity. Prayer for worldly goods is worse than fruitless, but prayer for strength of soul is that passion of the soul which catches the gift it seeks.”

To an acquaintance he writes protesting against the charge of cynicism:

“None of my writings can be said to show a want of faith in humanity, or of sympathy with the weaker, or that I do not read the right meaning of strength. And it is not only women of the flesh, but also women in the soul whom I esteem, believe in, and would aid to development”

I once pressed him for his views of women and found him as wise as Goethe: “We learn the best from those we love,” he said. “We have doubled Seraglio Point, but have not yet rounded Cape Turkthe Turkish idea is very strong in the male breast.”

Personally I must always speak of Meredith as the most interesting of companions. We agreed in almost everything, but the flashes of his humor made his conversation entrancing. I still regard him with Russel Wallace as the wisest men I've ever met. But Wallace's belief in another and larger life after death shut him away from me while Meredith's love of nature and his delight in nature studies all appealed to me. I remember how I met him for the last time in his little pony-chaise on Box Hill shortly before his death.

“People talk about me as if I were an old man. I don't feel old in the least. On the contrary,” he went on in his humorous sardonic fashion, “I do not believe in growing old, and I do not see any reason why we should ever die. I take as keen an interest in the movement of life as ever. I enter into the intrigues of parties with the same keen interest as of old. I have seen the illusion of it all, but it does not dull the zest with which I enter into it and I hold more firmly than ever my faith in the constant advancement of the race. My eyes are as good as ever they were, only for small print I need to use spectacles. It is only in my legs that I feel weaker. I can no longer walk vigorously, which is a great privation to me. I used to be a keen walker; I preferred walking to riding; it sent the blood coursing to the brain, and besides, when I walked I could go through woods and footpaths which I could not have done if I had ridden. Now I can only walk about my own garden. It is a question of nerves. If I touch anything, however slightly, I am afraid that I shall fall; that is my only loss. My walking days are over.”

He did not need to go beyond his garden to be in the midst of the Garden of the Gods. As a young man he wrote:

When the westering sun is leaving the valley in gloom

Lovely are the curves of the white owl sweeping

Wavy in the dusk lit by one large star

Lone on the fir-branch, his rattle note unvaried.

Brooding o'er the gloom, spins the brown eve-jar.

Darker grows the valley, more and more forgetting:

So were it with me if forgetting could be willed.

There in the midst of all living, singing, flowering things, he lived alone and marveled that people thought him lonely. His wife had been dead for many years. His daughter was married and lived between Box Hill and Leatherhead. His son, who was in London, came to see him every fortnight.

“I do not feel in the least lonely,” he told me. “I have my books and my thoughts, and besides, I am never lonely, with Nature and the birds and beasts and insects, and the woods and the trees, in which I find a constant companionship.”

And on this occasion he went deeper than ever before:

“I see,” he said, “the revelation of God to man in the history of the world, and in the individual experience of each of us in the progressive triumph of God, and the working of the law by which wrong works out its own destruction. I cannot resist the conviction that there is something more in the world than Nature. Nature is blind. Her law works without regard to individuals. She cares only for the type. To her, life and death are the same. Ceaselessly she works, pressing ever for the improvement of the type. If man should fail her, she will create some other being; but that she has failed with man I am loath to admit, or do I see any evidence of it. It would be good for us,” he added thoughtfully, “if we were to take a lesson from Nature in this respect, and cease to be so wrapped up in individuals, to allow our interests to go out to the race. We should all attain more happiness, especially if we ceased to care so exclusively for the individual I. Happiness is usually a negative thing. Happiness is the absence of unhappiness.”

In this passage I think Meredith reaches the highest: “There is something more (and higher) in the world than Nature.” I put on record the farthest reaches of Meredith's faith which I share. To me this life is all that man knows or can reckon upon, but it is surely in love and spirit-growth a gift incomparable and higher than what we know as Nature. It is the Wallaces and the Merediths who have made it divine to me and perchance in my time, I have made it more worthwhile to certain of my younger companions.

Of the two, I have always felt myself nearer to Meredith than to any other man I have known personally.

***

I have written little about the greatest English and French actresses of my time; little about Ellen Terry whom I love, and little about Sarah Bernhardt, who for twenty years was the idol of civilized Europe. No two women could be more dissimilar. Whatever height Ellen Terry reached as an actress, she was before and above everything a woman, whereas Sarah was always an actress pure and simple, even when she was most a woman. I knew both women pretty intimately, though Sarah was far nearer to me than Ellen.

Ellen Terry was the best actress in half a dozen of Shakespeare's plays that I have ever seen. She even made Ophelia interesting.

Very early in her career I noticed that she talked on the stage, now giving directions to some other actress, now criticizing even Irving. She was the acme of naturalness even on the stage, or rather the stage was the true scene of her life and triumphs. Now she is eighty-odd years old and just as charming and attractive as ever.

Her first marriage with the great painter, Watts, took place when she was sixteen. Watts was thirty years older. She sat for him in a dozen characters and he painted her magnificently, but what caused the rupture between them he never told. She was almost as reticent, though once she admitted that she “never loved Watts,” which perhaps was confession enough. “He was charming,” she said, “and I loved the pictures he made of me, but I never cared for him.”

The first time I saw Sarah was in 1878, I think, in the Comedie-Francaise. After the play I went backstage with Marguerite Durand and she introduced me to Sarah. Sarah treated me with very mild interest, but it was destined that I should know her better, though that need not concern us here. I mention it by way of explaining ensuing events.

I had met the Damalas in Athens; they were all staying at the Hotel d'Athenes just opposite the Royal Palace where I also had a room. The son was in the Corps des Pages; his sister had married a Scot and, deserted by him, was living with her mother. They had all come from Marseilles and were as good-looking a trio as one could meet in a day's walk. The unhappy events surrounding the sister had happy results for me. We came to know each other intimately. I can't forget our first private meeting. She was so eager to feel the hardness of a man between her thighs due to the deprivation she'd recently suffered.

She came to my room one afternoon while I sat on the balcony admiring the view of the distant Acropolis. It was sunny and hot and I had discarded my shirt. The girl, Ariane, had knocked and entered unbidden, and stood before me wordlessly. She was a beautytall and willowy with dark hair that fell to her shoulders, rounded hips, and lush breasts that thrust against the thin cloth of her dress. I was anxious to see what she would do next as she swayed in front of me, and she didn't disappoint. She slipped the straps of her garment over her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She was naked underneath. I stiffened instantly. Her breasts were full and pale and capped expansively with dark nipples that sprang erect under my smoldering gaze. Her thin waist flared into the swell of enticing hips and the sweeping lines of luscious thighs. Between her legs nestled a mossy treasure that I wished to explore.

I fell to my knees and dove at her tasty fruit, licking and sucking at it like a man dying of thirst in the desert. Ariane threw her head back as my tongue separated the lips of her pussy and probed her depths.

“I want you to fuck me,” she whispered heatedly.

Who was I to deny her that which she so eagerly sought? I pulled her to the floor of the terrace with one hand; with the other I loosened my trousers and let them fall. I shuffled forward, leaving them tangled in her dress, and moved between her opened legs. She was exquisite. Her pussy was a smile that was so enticing that I dispensed with further preparation and simply brought my cock to its target. I levered it down and put the head against the pouting lips. Then I thrust forward until that swollen cap was just inside her slit. She gasped and begged me to let her have more, more, more. I reared back and rammed into her, driving the entire length of my ramrod into her lovebox. She immediately clamped her legs around me as if afraid that I would leave her before the final act of our play.

I began to fuck her forcefully, driving all the way in and pulling nearly all the way out. My hands were clamped onto her heaving tits, crushing them and pinching the enormous nipples that I found so delectable. “Yes, yes,” she moaned, “fuck me like you mean it. Fuck me hard. Ohhh, I had almost forgotten”

I drove into her with a fury that surprised me. Every fiber of my body, every sense, seemed centered in my cock at that moment. I could feel the pressure building, and knew she was experiencing much the same thing if her writhings were a fair indication. Her breathing came in staccato gasps when she flooded my rod with her pearly nectar. At the same time I shot a copious amount of sperm into her thirsting pussy.

Sadly, I didn't see Ariane again once I left Athens, but it was not the end of my association with her family.

The son eventually threw up the page business and went to Paris. Six months later we met in that city, where he soon became the accredited admirer of Sarah Bernhardt. He was one of the handsomest men I have ever seen and Sarah fell for him to a degree that was almost incredible. She got him to act on her stage and took him on one of her journeys through Eastern Europe. In Trieste, I think it was, she noticed that he was deceiving her with a young actress in her company and at once accused him before the whole troop. Damalas heard her to the end in silence, and then said simply, “Madame, you will never again have the opportunity of calling me names.” His ideal was always the perfect gentleman. He left that same evening for Paris. Without him, she could not continue her tour and returned to Paris disconsolate and begged me to bring about a meeting with the only man she had ever loved. I did as she wished, but Damalas would not go back to her. “A great talent,” he said to me, “but a small nature and a foul tongue.”

It was almost her epitaph: I never thought her as great an actress as Ellen Terry.

In these years in London between the beginning of the century and the Great War, there were many men of ability that one ought to write about. First and foremost of course, Sir Edward Grey, and then Abe Bailey and Barney Barnato, and J. B. Robinson. Grey, of course, was an English aristocrat, whereas the other three were South African millionaires. The first time I met Grey was at dinner at Sir Charles Dilke's. Dilke had a high opinion of him; Grey was good-looking, above medium height, slightly but well built, with a mind that seemed very receptive. In reality, he had no measure of those that talked to him. He accepted Dilke's opinions of South Africa as readily as mine, and when Harold Frederic talked to him of the United States, he accepted some things and rejected others according to his original conceptions. Consequently, he learned nothing valuable. He listened most pleasantly but I soon found out that he had learned nothing except an argument or two to defend his original view. Grey had one of the closed minds of the world and that is almost as bad as to have no mind at all. I rate him now below almost any of his contemporaries.

Abe Bailey was a Transvaal millionaire, and Barney Barnato had not only made one fortune in Kimberley, but another and larger one in Johannesburg. He lost a million or so bucking against Rhodes and Beit, and he finally threw himself overboard on the steamer returning to England and perished miserably. But Abe Bailey was better balanced, if not so rich; he resolved to make a second home in London, and now for more than 25 years has been an important figure there.

J. B. Robinson, too, pursued the same course, though for one reason or another he was disliked by most of his fellows. Since the beginning of the century he has been a resident in Park Lane, and is strong and well, though he was over fifty years of age in 1900, a slight weakness of hearing being his chief physical defect. Robinson, curiously enough, was the first man to find and buy diamonds in Kimberley and also was the first to discover and exploit the gold mines of the Rand. He can tell the romantic story of South Africa's wealth better than any other man.

None of these people impressed me like Henri Rochefort of Paris. He was really an extraordinary person, full of wit and venom. When he heard that Queen Victoria intended to pass the winter in Nice for her health, he wrote in his paper, “L'Intransigeant,” that she had better stay at home. She was not wanted in France, he said, “that old stagecoach that persists in calling itself Victoria.” He came to see me and spent a month or so with me in London. I found him kindly to those he knew, but he held nine out of ten men in disdain.

For fifty-odd years he had fought as a journalist in Paris; “the noblest profession,” he said, “when not the lowest.”

In 1912, for the first time, he had to rest. “I'll soon be at work again,” he said. “My old teeth can still bite.” But a little later, in his eighty-third year, he passed on.

Was his influence good or bad? Distinctly bad, I should say, but Paris forgave him everything because of his wit, as London has forgiven Kipling everything because of his patriotism.

Very few people now remember the noble letter in which George Russell, “AE,” scourged Kipling for what he had written about Ireland. Of course, the trouncing was well deserved. Kipling had written against the Irish just as he had written a dastardly story against the Russians whom he regarded as dangerous to England. When France in 1906 pushed forward at Fashoda into what was regarded as British Africa, Kipling wrote against the French furiously, and in the World War, he coolly declared that no German should be allowed to survive. Why he fell foul of Ireland, I cannot recall, but Russell's letter will witness forever against him in literature. It begins:

“I speak to you, brother, because you have spoken to me, or rather, you have spoken for me. I am a native of Ulster. So far back as I can trace the faith of my forefathers, they held the faith for whose free observance you are afraid.

“You have Irish blood in you. I have heard, indeed, Ireland is your mother's land, and you may, perhaps, have some knowledge of the Irish sentiment. You have offended against one of your noblest literary traditions in the manner in which you have published your thoughts.

“I would not reason with you but that I know there is something truly great and noble in you and there have been hours when the immortal in you secured your immortality in literature, when you ceased to see life with that hard cinematograph eye of yours and saw with the eyes of the spirit, and power and tenderness and insight were mixed in magical tales.

“Surely you were far from the innermost when, for the first time, I think, you wrote of your mother's land and my countrymen.

“I have lived all my life in Ireland holding a different faith from that held by the majority. I know Ireland as few Irishmen know it, county by county, far I traveled all over Ireland for years and, Ulster man as I am, and proud of the Ulster people, I resent the crowning of Ulster with all the virtues and the dismissal of other Irishmen as 'thieves and robbers.' I resent the cruelty with which you, a stranger, speak of the most lovable and kindly people I know.

“You are not even accurate in your history when you speak of Ulster's traditions and the blood our forefathers spilt. Over a century ago, Ulster was the strong and fast place of rebellion, and it was in Ulster that the Volunteers stood beside their cannon and wrung the gift of political freedom for the Irish parliament. You are blundering in your blame. You speak of Irish greed in I know not what connection, unless you speak of the war waged over the land; and yet you ought to know that both parties in England have by act after act confessed the absolute justice and rightness of that agitation. Unionist no less than Liberal, and both boast of their share in answering the Irish appeal. They are both proud today of what they did. They made inquiry into wrong and redressed it.

“But you, it seems, can only feel angry that intolerable conditions imposed by your laws were not borne in patience and silence. For what party do you speak? When an Irishman has a grievance, you smite him. How differently you would have written of Runnymede and the valiant men of England who rebelled whenever they thought fit. You would have made heroes out of them.

“Have you no soul left, after admiring the rebels in your own history, to sympathize with other rebels suffering deeper wrongs? Can you not see deeper into the motive for rebellion that the hireling reporter who is sent to make up a case for the paper of a party?

“The best in Ulster, the best Unionists in Ireland, will not be grateful to you for libeling their countrymen in your verse. For, let the truth be known, the mass of Irish Unionists are much more in love with Ireland than with England. They think Irish Nationalists are mistaken, and they fight with them, and they use harsh words, and all the time they believe Irishmen of any party are better in the sight of God than Englishmen. They think Ireland is the best country in the world, and they hate to hear Irish people spoken of as 'murderers and greedy scoundrels.'

“Murderers! Why, there is more murder done in any four English shires in a year than in the whole of the four provinces of Ireland. Greedy! The nation never accepted a bribe, or took it as an equivalent or payment for an ideal, and what bribe would not have been offered to Ireland if it had been willing to foreswear its traditions?

“I am a person whose whole being goes into a blaze at the thought of oppression of faith, and yet I think my Catholic countrymen infinitely more tolerant than those who hold the faith I was born in. I am a heretic judged by their standards, a heretic who has written and made public his heresies, and I have never suffered in friendship or found by my heresies an obstacle in life.

“I set my knowledge, the knowledge of a lifetime, against your ignorance, and I say you have used your genius to do Ireland and its people a wrong. You have intervened in a quarrel of which you do not know the merits, like any brawling bully who passes and only takes sides to use his strength. If there was a high court of poetry, and those in power jealous of the noble name of poet and that none should use it save those who are truly knights of the Holy Ghost, they would hack the golden spurs from your heels and turn you out of court.

“You had the ear of the world and you poisoned it with prejudice and ignorance. You had the power of song, and you have always used it on behalf of the strong against the weak. You have smitten with all your might at creatures who are frail on earth but mighty in the heavens, at generosity, at truth, at justice, and Heavens have withheld vision and power and beauty from you, for this your verse is only a shallow newspaper article made to rhyme.”

It was one of the noblest letters ever written, but it did not hinder Kipling from getting the Nobel Prize, though he had done more to stir up hate between the nations than any other living man. I met him casually, many years ago now, when he first returned from India, but this letter of “AE” is the final judgment on him.

I cannot resist the temptation to write of an even greater man, a noble Frenchman, Marcelin Berthelot, who, I think, touched the zenith of humanity. His father was described by Renan as an accomplished physician, and a man of admirable charity and devotion. “Living in a populous district, he treated most of his patients gratuitously, and lived and died poor.” At the close of a brilliant college career, Marcelin chose science. He soon became friends with Renan, and the friendship seems to have been ideal. His great contributions to human progress lay in chemical synthesis, thermo-chemistry and agricultural chemistry. His synthetic chemistry created acetylene and a whole series of hydrocarbons.

He never would consent to derive the slightest personal benefit from any of his discoveries, but always relinquished the profit to the community at large.

He was, nevertheless, constantly urged to fill his pockets. Owing to his first researches on carburette d'hydrogen, he discovered an improvement in the manufacture of gas for lighting purposes, which constituted for Paris alone a saving of several hundred millions of francs to the Gas Company. He immediately made his discovery public without deriving any personal advantage from it.

Important manufacturers, such as the millionaire Menier, often came to him with proposals of partnership, or tried to buy some of his processes for the synthetic manufacture of organic compounds. The brewers of northern France once offered him two million francs if he would give them the monopoly on one of his discoveries. Enormous fortunes have been made out of one single item of his scientific treatises. His researches on explosives led to smokeless powder and would have accumulated riches for him equal to those of Nobel.

Germany owes the greater part of her wonderful modern industrial development to the introduction to science of Berthelot's revolutionary synthetic method.

In the course of his long career, he never took out a single patent, and always relinquished to humanity the benefit of his discoveries. “The scientist,” he said, “ought to make the possession of truth his only riches.”

He wrote in 1895: “It is not half a century since I attained the age of manhood, and I have faithfully lived up to the ideal dream of justice and truth which dazzled my youthI have always had the will to achieve what I thought morally the best for myself, my country, and humanity.”

While perpetually engaged in his chemical researches, he still took part in public life. He became a Senator, a Minister of Public Instruction, Minister of Foreign Affairs, and a pioneer to the “entente cordiale.”

His private life was just as beautiful. His wife was thus described at the time of her wedding by the brothers de Goncourt:

“A singular beauty, never to be forgotten; a beauty, intelligent, profound, magnetic, a beauty of soul and thought resembling one of Edgar Poe's creations of the other world. The hair parted, and standing away from the head, gave the appearance of a halo; a prominent calm foreheadlarge eyes full of light, encircled by a dark ring, and the musical voice of an ephebe.”

For forty-five years, husband and wife lived side by side. They were not separated for a day. In the closest union of heart and thought, their affection was never veiled by the slightest cloud.

The loss of her grandson in a railway accident was Madame Berthelot's death-blow. The first attack of heart disease she got over, but at the close of 1906, her husband saw that nothing could stop it. Then this old man of eighty was to be seen watching night and day at the bedside of his dear patient, measuring hour by hour the diminution of her vital forces, at the same time as he noted the deep inroads made in his own organism by the keen anguish which he suffered. The patient retained her admirable serenity until the last hour, and her ultimate words were said to her daughter: “What will become of him when I am gone?”

A few minutes later, one of his sons, who had followed him into the room, heard him heave a deep and harrowing sigh. He took his hand to say a few tender words of consolation to him, but the arm dropped inactive.

Through the sad blow, that great heart was broken.

Madame Berthelot was buried with her husband in the Pantheon, the first time that this supreme honor was rendered to a woman.

Had his life been spared, Berthelot would, a friend says, probably have astonished the world by his observations on trees as regulators of electricity, and as possible media of electrical communications, and on the worldwide disasters which the clearing off of forests to make paper is likely to occasion. His walks in the forests of Meudon opened to him new and original views on the harmonies of creation.

Berthelot was a charming lecturer, charming from every point of viewartistic expression, voice enunciation, and appearance.

There was often a rhythm in his sentences which caught the ear and helped the memory to retain them. His knowledge of Greek and Latin was deep, and he thought the classics an invaluable mental discipline.

His son, Philippe Berthelot, is now in the Foreign Office in Paris and many of us foreigners who live in France have reason to be grateful to him. He, too, lives quite simply, but is naturally proud of his father's extraordinary character and noble achievements. I often think of Marcelin Berthelot as an ideal. He is the first man of whom I have said this. We are apt to think of Frenchmen as resembling Rochefort; it is well to be reminded sometimes that there are Frenchmen such as Marcelin Berthelot.

CHAPTER VII

I have been asked frequently why, on my African travels, I was so cold in regard to native women. This will perhaps be my last opportunity briefly to outline all that befell me in the Dark Continent. In the first place, it would not be true to assert that I was always cold. On the contrary, some of my most passionate encounters took place on the same continent on which Rhodes and Kruger struggled and upon which the irresponsible German Kaiser cast an envious eye. Of the ludicrous braggadocio of the Emperor of Germany I shall have occasion to speak in the chapter which follows. For the momentAfrica.

Much has been said of this continent in many places. All I can add is that kind of personal reminiscence which sometimes throws a new and penetrating light on what is sometimes considered to be a problem incapable of solution. I refer to my knowledge of the African people, and in particular to my knowledge of African women. If I did not spend more time among them, it was not, as has sometimes been imputed, that I was the victim of color prejudice, but that there is an archaic quality in the tribeswomen of Africa which must eternally set them at a distance from a European. This is not true, as we shall see, of Egyptians and other Arab peoples, whose cultural development was on a par with that of the early Christians and who have lent to the West, in the shape of a workable mathematical symbolism, the basis of modern science. Let anyone who doubts this attempt a complex problem of multiplication and division using only the old Roman numerals and then let him judge in what measure the Arab culture has contributed towards our own.

But I shall speak first of the dark races. I have seen Zulu girls and Swahili girls with superb figures. Statues in ebony appeal to me as keenly as statues in ivory. How then could I live among these people on the most familiar terms without yielding occasionally to passion?

I had stayed for a number of days as the guest of the headsman of the village. At first the people in the village were curious about me, but after a while they became used to my presence at their dances and at the other few social functions of the group. One night the chief, who spoke English very well, began to talk to me about women. He asked me if white women were passionate. I said that some of them were and some of them weren't.

“It is the same here in my country,” he said. “There are some who like to make love all the time and there are others who always appear to do so reluctantly.”

He, himself, had five wives, three of whom were very passionate. The other two, he said, seemed to care for nothing but their children. He asked me if I had been attracted by any of the women of the village. I smiled and said that I had had little opportunity to be close enough to any of them to feel passion for them. He laughed and said that on that very evening there was going to be a dancea kind of frenzied religious ceremonyin the public place in the village. It would take place according to tradition after sunset and it would be a fine opportunity for me to look over the unattached women. If I wished to have sexual intercourse with a girl, however, I should have to make the normal gesture to the parentsthat is, I should have to present them with a yoke of oxen. When I had done so, the girl would automatically become my spouse.

“But I cannot remain here for the rest of my life!” I laughed.

He nodded his head, smiling. That, too, could be arranged, he said. In the meantime it would be better to say nothing of my intention to leave, since many of the parents, who could accept my departure in the normal course of events would, if warned of it prior to my nuptials with their daughter, perhaps be unwilling to surrender their daughter to me. But afterwards, who could be forewarned of the will of God? Like the practical people they were, they would accept.

At sunset, I sat next to the chief and watched the males with their hideous tribal masks raising dust from the earth by the beat of their hard heels. The dance was confessedly sexualthere is no line of demarcation between religion and sexuality amongst most of the tribesmen of Africa. Religion, or rather religious experience and sexuality, are contained and expressed within a composite series of actions, gestures and genuflections, incapable of analysis into their component elements. It is not clear even to these people themselves where the frenzy of religion ends and the ecstasy of sexual passion begins. The men, feathered and masked, seemed almost to be involved in a kind of orgasm as they danced. The women, as they approached with their breasts bare and a little tail of colored cloth between their glistening black thighs, moved inwards in a loose circle about the men, obviously in the grip of some kind of lust which caused them to wish to mingle with the men. Then, suddenly, the women were in the center, huddled together and quivering, like a flock of Sabine women waiting to be taken, while the men, making obscene gestures with their plumed hips, seemed to threaten them in a way that was half ritual and half stark physical lust.

The circle was not closed. A segment had been cut out, as it were, to allow the headsman and those, among whom I was numbered, who sat about him to see deep into the center where the women quivered frenziedly in half-simulated passion.

Before the dance had gone far, I found myself looking directly into the eyes of one of those women, whose black body rippled and writhed in the torchlight. My friend, the chief, followed my glance and laid his hand on my forearm.

“You are attracted?” he whispered. “You wish to fuck her?”

I nodded without replying.

“It is easily arranged,” he said. “I am a good friend of her parents. I myself will provide the oxen and in return you can send me a gift when you return to your own country.”

I agreed immediately. The girl, her round, firm breasts smeared with some kind of oil that glistened in the light of the fire, was still undulating her hips and gazing in my direction. I desired her at once.

Without delay, the headsman sent a boy to fetch the girl's parents who, a moment later, presented themselves obediently before their chief. He spoke quickly in the native tongue. The father, a man of about fifty, nodded gravely all the while, and swiftly the chief turned to me and said that everything had been agreed upon.

The dance continued, but I noted with pleasure that the girl had broken away from the group of women who were still huddled in the center of the feathered and painted men, and that her mother took her hand immediately and led her away into the darkness.

“In five minutes,” my friend said, “a boy will come to fetch you. You will go with him and then you will be free to do as you please.”

I thanked him gratefully and waited for the return of my messenger. The whole pristine nature of this assignation caused the passion within me to become almost uncontainable. I was more than relieved when the boy arrived and waited respectfully for me to join him. I left at once after shaking hands with the headsman, who said in his broken English:

“May the night bring you much pleasure and the woman much love!”

The boy conducted me through the village to the door of a small hut which was set apart from the rest. It occurred to me to wonder whether this was the hut which was set aside for the nuptials of a first mating. Unfortunately, I always forgot to ask the headsman, so I have never been able to confirm my suspicion. The boy left me at the door. In the distance I could still see the black shadows of the dancers who hurled themselves about the fire at the far end of the village. Drawing a deep breath, I stooped and entered.

There was no light within.

At first I thought the hut was empty. There was no sign of movement. But then, suddenly, I became aware of the stenchI use the word advisedlyof my young bride. It was like no smell I had ever smelled, or rather, if one is impolite enough to suggest that European women have a smell, the present one was that of a female raised to an indescribable pitch of sexual pungency. It struck at my nostrils and caused me almost to lose courage. But I divested myself of my silly prejudice and breathed inwards deeply. What an amazing effect! The odor seemed to rise in my head like strong drink and send a soft, needling sensation over the skin of my belly and loins. Never before in my life had I felt such a powerful lust.

Still in the darkness, my eyes growing accustomed gradually, I removed my clothes. My throbbing engorged tool sprang out before me as if seeking its warm receptacle in the gloom. By this time, I had become aware of the girl's breathing. Undoubtedly, because she had been there longer than I, and because of the stark whiteness of my skin, she was now able to see me clearly, but as yet I had only the vaguest notion of her whereabouts in the hut. My erection was almost painful in its rigidity. Leaning forwards, like an animal in the forest, I tried to sense her exact position. Poor civilized creature that I was! How slow are the senses of a civilized man! I was aware of her, but I did not know where she was!

Dear girl that she was, she realized immediately the nature of my difficulty. Almost at once, I felt a warm hand close around my wrist and I was pulled forward in the darkness onto a bed of dried rushes. At first they pricked my sides painfully, but then I became overpoweringly aware of the oily softness of the body that pressed itself against me. She guided my hand to her thighs and with gratitude I began to stroke her pussy tenderly. My thumb found her clit and teased it until I could feel it swell to my touch. At the same time I inserted first one finger, then another into her accepting grotto. Her subtle movements beneath my hand combined with the darkness of the hut acted like a drug on my senses. I felt dazed and overcome by lust, my sophisticated nature being overcome by the raw vitality and sensuality of the place. I manipulated her with my fingers, my palm flat against her mount, while my erection grew to enormous lengths.

I abandoned myself completely to her embrace, finding her lips with my own and crushing her mouth open with the pressure of my lips and tongue. She groaned softly as I reared back and my cock burst through her coarse hairs. I found myself inundated with the sticky lubricant of her passion, risen naturally from the fertile gland within the soft orb of her belly. I set myself to give her the ultimate depth of pleasure, teasing her, rousing her, running my hardness again and again in long full strokes between the smooth flanges of her sex.

Her soft buttocks rose and fell in a perpetual rhythm, and each time I drew my rod from her, her mouth opened and she let out a wild, animal cry that caused my buttocks to tighten and my movements to become frenzied. I drove into her again and again, reveling in my strength and my dominance, though I suspect she used me as she wished. Of course, no thought of that entered my mind. My entire attention was focused on bringing her to the brink of utter surrender, then letting her down before the joyous moment was passed. In this way we continued to build our anticipation and desire until she bucked beneath like an untamed animal and I plowed into her with the same savage fury. My cock tingled and my body began to spasm uncontrollably, though I was not quite ready to release the geyser that was rising quickly to the surface.

In the distance we could still hear the noise of the tom-toms from the other end of the village. I took her leathery nipples in my mouth, first the one and then the other, and sucked deeply. Then, when she cried out for the third time, I allowed my own lust to rise like a dam within me and spurt hotly into the pit of her abdomen.

From the point of view of pure physical pleasure, I have never experienced anything equivalent. The rhythm of our love was undilutedly animal. No sooner had I ejaculated than she moved her oiled body in a snakelike way to arouse me to new passion. I was tired but could not resist giving myself over to her.

I drove her roughly into the rush bed. I was determined to satisfy her lust as it had never been satisfied before. I threw her legs up over my shoulders and spread her thighs with my arms. Her open pussy slit gleamed wetly in the semi-darkness. I moved up and drove my revitalized ramrod into that tempting target. I pounded into her again and again while she ground her pelvis in such a way that I could feel the bone mashing against my enraged cock, drawing it into her, encouraging it to explore her innermost secrets, stroking it until it throbbed painfully with almost conscious need.

My tool continued its quest, sliding in and out of her tight channel, until she began to scream with unbridled passion. Only then, striking boldly with my lance, did I allow my sperm to flow for the second time into the dusky belly which engulfed it.

By that time, it was nearly dawn. I was so tired that in spite of the squalor of our bed, I fell immediately into a deep sleep and did not awake until the sun had risen almost to its peak on the following day. When I awoke it was to see my new bride smiling happily into my eyes and offering me a choice assortment of fruits from a rudely made basket.

Man is above all a creature of habit. I am certain that if I had stayed long enough in that village I would have come to accept and to rejoice in the carnal power of my young black bride. I came almost to enjoy the beastly smelling oils and unguents which she rubbed daily into the soft masses of her thighs and breasts, which mingled cloyingly both with her short hairs and with the hair on her head.

Sometimes, lying back in the shade of a hot afternoon, I considered seriously abandoning my previous life and allowing myself to sink into the pleasant torpor of a simple life. I had already conceived a desire for two other girls of the village and the thought of having a large and comfortably furnished hut of my own and a limitless number of these women for my sexual satisfaction was nearly attractive enough to overcome my resolve to return to civilization and continue my life and work. The idea was especially attractive because the headsman of the village made no effort to conceal his desire that I should stay. With my knowledge and experience, he was quick to see, we could soon have transformed a poor native village into a rich and prosperous settlement, certainly the most prosperous in that part of the country. That would mean riches for all the villagers and a constant recruitment (by ordinary purchase) of the finest girls from the outlying villages.

One night I nearly gave way.

“Why do you wish to return to your country?” the headsman asked me. “Are you not happy here?”

I had no answer.

“So you will stay?”

I almost said yes. But suddenly, and not for the first time in similar situations, I remembered the long preparation that had gone to dedicating myself to a useful and noble life. Was I to put all that behind me? To forget my duties to my fellow countrymen, to the civilization from which I had derived so much? There could be no question. I must leave at once before it is too late, I remember thinking. It was difficult to explain my attitude to the headsman who had become my dear friend. What did he know of the values which I held so dear? I apologized for my determination, but insisted that I had to depart.

“When?” he said.

“Tomorrow,” I replied, for the decision once made, could not be revoked. It was now or never.

Nevertheless, when on the following day I took my leave, I did so with a heavy heart. I shall never know whether I did wrong not to dedicate my life to the betterment of those friendly natives.

A few general remarks before I pass on. Again and again, I have been amused by the vagaries of modesty. I found more than one tribe in central Africa in which the women and girls went completely nude in front while covering their behinds sedulously.

But different people have different ways. Egyptian and Arab women, when surprised by men, lift up their solitary garment to conceal their eyes while exposing the cunt. The natives of Tasmania move about, even among the white race, in their nudity seemingly unconcerned; but when they sit down with men, they take care to put their right heel so that it conceals their sex. In Constantinople, I observed women continually take all their clothes off and be no more ashamed of their nudity than of their bare hands. I did not find these differences in India, though modesty was never very marked there. In China, however, it was conspicuous by its absence. In China, sensuality was studied more than anywhere else in the world.

I'll finish first, though, with Africa, and my experiences with the women of the Arab world. The experiences I had there were many and various, ranging from the simple act of lovemaking to the amazing “bed of crucifixion” to which, one evening in Alexandria, I allowed myself to be strapped.

An acquaintance of mine, a member of the British Military Commission in Egypt, first described this delicate instrument of “torture” to me. He assured me that never had he experienced such wonderful orgasms than when strapped to the “bed of crucifixion.”

I have no means of knowing whether this is the name it goes by throughout North Africa and the Middle East, or whether it was merely the name which my friends and his acquaintances applied to it. There is nothing at all technical about it. It is simply a bed with ordinary leather straps for the hands and for the feet and with one broad waistband which prevents the body from rising off the bed. One is strapped to the bed and the remainder of the operation is carried out by two young girls who have been specially trained for the purpose.

First, the body of the victim is smeared with coconut oil from head to foot. He is, of course, quite naked. Then he is strapped into position on the bed. Subsequently, the girls appear, also in the nude, and they proceed with the most gentle of little tongue movements to lick every trace of the oil from the victim's body. They begin at the extremities, one at either end, and working slowly and thoroughly, they come to meet at the body's center. Eventually, by means of the skillful manipulation of their tongues, they cause the helpless male to have a mighty orgasm without having indulged in sexual intercourse.

I was naturally anxious to have the experience, the more so because the house guaranteed to make each victim ejaculate in this manner. Thus, if they were not successful, no payment would be expected.

I felt at the time that I would be quite capable of controlling myself. Alas! I had not counted on the superb skill of the two young enchantresses.

They were expert in all respects, particularly in their oral ministrations. While I was bound helplessly, one straddled my face so that I had to lick her delicious little cunt, while the other sucked my upright cock in her mouth without a second thought. It seemed as though she took me entirely down her throat, for the channel in which I was lodged was tight and moist and I could feel her tongue working the sides of my shaft. Then they would change positions so that the other could taste the salty drops oozing from my straining tool, while the other enjoyed the pleasure of my tongue.

Of course that was not the whole of it. They each of them lowered themselves onto my cock and had me fuck themor did they fuck me? I was theirs to use as they wished; I could no more deny them than I could get up and walk out of the place. Nor did I want to, but I was starting to have misgivings.

Before an hour had passed, they were threatening to raise me to my third orgasm. I begged them to stop. They did so only on the condition that I would give them an extra tip. I capitulated at once. The extreme tension of the past hour had really been almost unsupportable. My friend laughed when I met him in the vestibule. He said that he underwent the “crucifixion” regularly, once a month!

Of course I had many other experiences in Egypt. I had the incredible experience of seeing a Nubian woman thrust a liter milk bottle into her vagina and make it disappear completely. Naturally, having seen her thus do injury to herself, I had no desire whatsoever to fuck her.

Another time, a belly-dancer was prevailed upon to dance naked on the table of a dive in Cairo. Having completed her superbly sexual dance, she was set upon by all the males present and had to submit until all the lust in the room had been quenched. She took one immense cock in her cunt, one in her mouth, one in her bottomhole, and grasped one in each of her hands. Before or since I have never seen such a shower of sperm. I was the only man present who refrained from having intercourse with her, not that I did not enter into the spirit of the thing, but simply because I did not think it wise to take the risk of contracting a venereal disease.

I mention these experiences, not because all my experiences in the Arab countries were so crude, but simply because the Arab female in general is not unlike our European woman, especially the Spanish who have almost the same complexion, the same dark hair, and a similar temperament.

Though they sometimes like to consider themselves Europeans, North Africans belong to a geography that is essentially part of the Middle East, and that term has not only a geographical but also a cultural and political reference. Taken as a whole, the Middle East has for the past epoch at least been a sphere of political ferment. As such, it lies there as a pearl to be annexed by whatever European power has the appropriate ambition and politico-military power. As such, it has provoked international jealousies which in large part contributed towards the Great War. I cannot attempt a detailed analysis of the causes of that war. I shall content myself now with the consideration of a few of its aspects.

CHAPTER VIII

The talk of all the first years of the new century was the change in feeling between England and Germany. The feeling in England towards Germany grew steadily worse ever since the Kaiser's letter backing up Kruger in 1896. Every brag by the German Emperor about the growth of the German fleet intensified the bitterness in England.

Curiously enough, almost all the chief London journalists worked persistently to increase the bad feeling. Colonel Maxse and his friends in the National Review let no opportunity pass unused and Mr. Strachey and his staff in The Spectator were just as venomous. Sir Rowland Blennerhasset, too, in The Fortnightly; Dr. Billon in The Contemporary and Mr. Arnold White as a free lance did all they could to fan the flame of hatred.

In June 1913, the Kaiser celebrated the 25th anniversary of his ascension to the throne. The assemblage of kings and princes and all the notables of Germany gave a truly imperial color to the proceedings. The military pageant was very impressive. The unparalleled expansion of German commerce and manufacture owed something to his encouragement. In not a few departments, German science had achieved superiority over the rest of the world. The population had increased from 42 to 66 million. The birthrate, though decreasing, averaged 31 per 1,000 against 26 in England and 10 in France. Agriculture had prospered greatly and supplied Germany with 95 per cent of her necessary food, though prices had risen considerably. The German railways totaled 60,000 kilometers, 230,000 ships passed in and out of her harbors annually, and the commerce of Hamburg was exceeded only by that of London. In the production of sugar, Germany stood first with two million tons yearly, and potash was almost exclusively a German possession. More important still, in the production of iron, Germany was second only to the United States, in that of coal she took the third place after the United States and England. It was stated in the Reichstag that if the recent growth of trade could be maintained, Germany in this respect would surpass England in ten years and occupy the first place.

From the dismissal of Bismarck in 1890 till the World War in 1914, the chief figure in Europe was Kaiser Wilhelm the Second. When I met him, along with Edward, Prince of Wales, I was astonished by his rude authoritativeness.

Whoever wants to understand and to realize all the tragedy of the World War has only to read the book of Emil Ludwig entitled Kaiser Wilhelm II. It is not a great biography, but it is a most damning indictment. Ludwig shows that the Emperor really thought he could make himself the protector of Kruger and the Transvaal even at the cost of a war with England. He did not see that he could not have landed a single German soldier in the Transvaal against the will of the English. When he began building his battle fleet, avowedly to match the English, he did not see that the English would be forced to keep the upper hand in sea power. And if England left anything to chance, they would certainly be supported in the last resort by the enormous power and wealth of the United States.

For years he built upon the support of Russia and the personal friendship of the Tsar “Nicky,” though Bulow convinced him that Russia had entered into a close alliance with France.

In all history we have no record of so brainless a ruler. And yet Kaiser Wilhelm had a certain mental intelligence and charm of conversation. He was by nature an actor greedy of popular applause. I think of the charming letter he wrote to his grandmother, Queen Victoria, when he was forty years of age:

“How incredible it must seem to you that the tiny weeny little rat you so often had in your arms, and dear Grandpapa swung about in his napkin, has now reached the forties, just the half of your prosperous successful life. It is to be hoped you are not displeased with your impetuous colleague.”

And then think of his defiance:

“When Metternich frankly declared in July 1908 that the English Ministers were all for peace and only wanted a reciprocal diminution in the Navy Estimates, the Emperor was infuriated and wrote in the margin: 'A veiled threat! We will suffer no dictation! Ambassador has exceeded his instructions!' Further: 'It must be made clear to him that an arrangement with England at the expense of the fleet is no desire of mine. It is a piece of boundless impudence, a mortal insult to the German people and their Emperor; it must be imperatively and finally discountenanced. The Law will be carried out to the last fraction; whether Britain likes it or not is nothing to us. If they want war, let them begin itwe are not afraid! I must beg that the Ambassador will henceforth take no notice whatever of this kind of vaporing!'

Those who have read this book of Ludwig on the Kaiser will have to admit that Wilhelm was the chief cause of the war.

One curious fact should be recorded here. Ludwig traces Wilhelm's growth in conceit in a marvelous way. Very early on, Ballin wrote about Bulow: “Bulow is utterly ruining the Emperor; with his perpetual adulation, he is making him overestimate himself beyond all reason.”

The tide of flattery mounted steadily: In 1912, Lamprecht, Germany's leading historian, wrote of the Kaiser: “His is a personality of primitive potency, of irresistible authority, for which the whole domain of emotion and experience is perpetually opened anew, as for the soul of a creative artist. Self-reliance, fixity of purpose, ever directed to the loftiest aimsthose are the distinguishing marks of the Imperial personality.”

The Kaiser sucked it all in as Gospel. He wrote: “My subjects should always do what I tell them, but they will think for themselves and that's what makes all the trouble.”

Again and again Ludwig gives proof of the Kaiser's cowardice. He calls it “poltroonery,” but worst of all was his instability and his curious belief in the divine rights of monarchs. It seems to one reading this long exposure as if a King had to be specially designed by the Almighty in order to insure Germany's defeat in the World War.

The Kaiser made the navy which brought him the enmity of England, and when Tirpitz in December 1914 wanted to use it to blockade England, the Kaiser would not allow it. The English Admiral Sir Percy Scott admitted afterwards, however, that had the German fleet been used then as Tirpitz wanted: “England would have been forced to sue for peace in a month to avoid famine.”

The Kaiser not only provoked the war, but took care to wage it so that he must lose it. The war had altered England's position too. Her insularity was no longer a protection and though she did not seem to realize it, she had lost her pride of place to the United States, both as a world power and in business. And yet this was the country that, thanks to Sir Austin Chamberlain in 1927, refused to diminish the number of her cruisers and so spurred the American government to increase the United States Navy, as if in immediate fear of war.

June 1913, President Poincare paid a visit to England and was toasted everywhere as “a friend and ally.” Of course, it was a formal visit to King George, yet Poincare was the chief figure at the great review of English battleships at Portmouth.

Meanwhile peace conferences followed each other as if in derision. At the end of August 1913, a great Palace of Peace, due to the liberality of Andrew Carnegie, was opened at The Hague. It was the first universally recognized Temple of Peace and was praised in the press as a mark of “visible history.” First the Hague Peace Conference of 1899, and now this “pledge of peace universal and eternal” as the magazines called it. Mr. Van Swinderen, the head of the permanent Board of Arbitration, in his speech accepting the custody of the magnificent building, said: “No international controversies are so serious that they cannot be settled peaceably if both parties desire it.” It was asserted openly by the representatives of labor that the previous Peace Conference had been a failure because no one cared to propose that merchant ships should be immune in all wars.

The second Hague Conference held in 1907 had proposed that the third should be held in 1915 and that each nation should prepare a committee and charge it to make the proposals considered necessary. But in 1913 neither Russia nor England appointed such a committee. Clearly a pledge of universal and eternal peace needed better ratification than a splendid Temple. But Stead, the founder of the Review of Reviews and The War on War, the great apostle of peace, had unfortunately gone down with the Titanic in 1912. There was no one in England to take his place or work for peace as he had worked. One result was that in 1913-14, when the British expenditure on the Army and Navy had risen to?75,000,000, the expenditure on the Peace Conference was nil.

When I first began to hear things that led me to believe a world war was possible, I did not believe them. Grey, I said to myself, is too sensible and France has too much to fear; but Germany was always there with her brainless, provoking Kaiser. Still, I made up my mind that there was nothing serious to fear. Then, in the spring of 1914, I was imprisoned by Judge Horridge for contempt. Never was there a more unjust verdict. In the journal I had founded, Modern Society, an article had appeared commenting on Lord Fitzwilliam's divorce case; but I was not the editor. I had gone to the South of England to write my book on Oscar Wilde and never even saw the article before it was published. For the first time the managing director of a company was held responsible as if he had been the editor of the company magazine. The judge's clerk told me I would be forgiven if I apologized, but I had nothing to apologize for and therefore refused.

I was not a criminal and was only imprisoned by order of the judge and could be let out at any moment. I was therefore treated better than the perpetrators of even the pettiest crimes, but I can never describe how dreadful to me the prison was. Fixed hours for everything; at 7 o'clock the light went out and you had to pass the hours till 7 next morning in complete darkness. To get hot water to shave was only possible if you paid the keepers. Thanks to my wife who brought me money, I paid them lavishly, so lavishly that one day the cook came up to know what I would like to eat for lunch. But he could not make bad meat into good meat, or bad mutton into palatable mutton. When I stopped eating altogether because of the dreadful attacks of indigestion, the doctor came in and found me fainting. He told me that if I would not eat, I would be forcibly fed. I asked him to let me have hot water to wash my stomach out. He told me he had nothing to do with that. I suffered like a beaten dog every day. Prison in England is for healthy people. For those with indigestion, it is a perfect hell.

The man in the next cell kept crying and groaning half the night. But at the end of the week, I was told once again that if I apologized I would be freed. Again I refused to apologize. Still, my friends did a good deal for me. Lord Grimthorpe and others went to the Home Secretary and declared that my punishment was disgraceful and must be stopped. At the end of the month, Mr. Justice Horridge sent his own doctor to see if I was indeed ill.

The doctor reported that he would not answer for my life if I were imprisoned for another week and so I was set free.

An amusing incident highlighted my deliverance. I had tipped all the keepers and attendants so well that when I went out at 10 o'clock in the morning to leave the prison, they all took different parcels of mine to carry for me, half a dozen of them. Suddenly the governor of the prison arrived screaming with rage.

“What are you doing here?” he shouted at one keeper.

“Oh,” said the man addressed, “I brought his hatbox.”

“And you, what are you doing?”

“I brought his coat.”

The governor was furious and said that one more prisoner such as I was would turn the prison upside down. My wife and I stood there laughing.

The prison and my rage at being unjustly punished had broken my health. Horridge and his novel idea of punishing a managing director as if he had been the editor, nearly killed me. I was 58 years of age; the prison fare had ruined my digestion. I came out very ill indeed and this only increased my dislike of England and most English attributes. I came down to the South of France and there in brilliant sunshine soon began to get better. By the summer I was well again. But war was in the air and I resolved not to return to England. Instead, I would go to New York and begin a new life there. With only a few dollars in my pocket I set off. My wife decided to return to London and await results.

In my first days in New York I did a good deal of thinking. I was at the St. Regis Hotel where I had stayed during a prior visit to New York some years before. I had become friends with Mr. Hahn, the proprietor, and he was now very nice to me. I asked him to my room one day and put the case before him: Would he let me stay at the hotel for three months, and then I would be able to pay him everything. If he could not give me credit, I would have to leave. He told me very nicely that he could not give me three months' credit. I left the next day and went into lodgings on Riverside Drive.

There I sat down and wrote a short article on railroads, describing the main American railway organizations, including the Union Pacific.

I sent this little note to the heads of three American railways and asked them if they wanted an advertisement agent who could do new ads for them and whether they would employ me. I told them I wanted a large sum per month, and I gave the little paragraph I'd written as a specimen of my work. I was hired by two of them at oncethe Union Pacific and the Chesapeake and Ohio. I went to White Sulphur in Virginia to study the road, assured of a good reception in the hotel. I must also add that Otto Kahn was kind enough to write both to the Union Pacific and the Chesapeake and Ohio, recommending me.

Some time later I got to know Arthur Little, who was the printer and practically owner of Pearson's Magazine. He was not only kindly, but wise, and soon took me on as editor. Of course, I gave up my position on the railways and went back to my old work.

At first, I was very successful with Pearson's. The circulation rose rapidly and for nearly a year it looked as if I could make a great magazine out of it. But later came bad times. The Germans had invaded France and were beating the French and the English together. They had also practically crushed Russia. The idea was in the air that America should go to the help of the Allies and prevent Germany winning an undeserved victory. I was against the war passionately. I wanted America to force a peace, a “peace without victory,” as Wilson had said, which she could have done quite easily. But Wilson was not the man for the job, and so the war dragged on, sacrificing more than a million lives every month. To me it was all horrible and I protested against it in Pearson's again and again. That soon earned me the dislike of the authorities at Washington, and A. S. Burleson, the Secretary of State, held up Pearson's Magazine again and again in the mail for weeks at a time. When I went to Washington and asked him why he did it, he told me that it was on information he had received that it was seditious and against the interest of America. I pointed out that he had been mistaken six times running but got no satisfaction from the fool. Finally he held up the magazine for 27 days and that practically ruined the circulation. A.S.S. Burleson, as I called him to his face, was too strong for me. Instead of making $25,000 a year, I began to lose money. Soon the position became intolerable to me.

In 1918 the war ended, as I had predicted it would. I began to lecture in my bureau on 5th Avenue in New York, and made some money. But I had to give up my hopes of a great and significant journalistic success, thanks to the enmity of the government in Washington. One little incident will show how far Wilson's spite went.

In 1919 I was asked to produce my naturalization papers. When I told the official that I could not, he said: “It must be done if you wish to be treated like an American citizen, otherwise you might be turned out of the country.”

I felt the threat and explained: “I was admitted to the Bar in Lawrence, Kansas in 1875. I could not have been admitted to the Bar and practice law without being a citizen.”

He said he had to refer the whole case to Washington. I proved that I was admitted to the Bar in Lawrence, Kansas as I had said, but after two or three days, the official came and told me that it was not sufficient, and the government would not regard me as a citizen.

I answered: “I have no wish to vote; I only want to remain quietly here.”

But he said: “You had better make yourself a citizen, if you can.”

That seemed to me significant. Accordingly I took all the necessary steps and was again accepted as an American citizen in 1919. This put an end to the petty annoyances of Wilson's government and A. S. Burleson.

One word more to show the idiocy of war. Considerable commotion was stirred up in 1905 by the publication of Sir W. Butler's report on the clever scheme by which, after the South African war was over, millions of pounds worth of supplies were sold by the British government to contractors at a low price and immediately bought back by the government from the same contractors at a very high price. As there was no need to sell it at allthis transaction represented an ingenious contrivance to put a great deal of money into somebody's pocket at the expense of the British taxpayer. The hopeless state of confusion into which the Ministers had allowed everything to slide in South Africa is shown by the fact that they were quite unable to say what had been lost by sheer dishonesty or whether, as Mr. Balfour wished to make out, England had actually made money on the transactions. Jingo finance is a mere affair of blind man's bluff. The War Office at first objected to selling the stores by contract, then gave way. It first demanded monthly returns of sales, and then allowed month after month to pass without any returns being made. Meanwhile, contractors got rich. Ministers obstinately turned a deaf ear to the warnings of the Liberal leader, and instead of exposing the scandal, did all they could to hush it up. Fortunately the Auditor-General, an official independent of the executive, brought the matter before the Accounts Committee. By this means General Butler's report came to be published. Otherwise everything would have been hushed up “in the best interest of the Army.”

I hate accusing my adopted nation of crimes, but now and then it is an imperative duty, an obligation of conscience. These accusations shame me to the soul.

In 1910 Secretary of War Baker promised to punish the officers who were found guilty of brutalities to soldiers in prison camps in France. “It is not too late,” he declared, “to punish any officer or enlisted man still in the service.”

It was not too late to punish, but it was certainly too late to prevent the atrocious cruelties that stained the name of America and which it was Secretary Baker's obvious duty to prevent at all costs.

For over two years he had been listening to the court-martial reports, confirming or mitigating, and revising them. He ought to have learned his work. “There have been three hundred and fifty thousand condemnations by court-martials in these United States.” I am quoting the daily papers. Dozens of soldiers and conscientious objectors were sentenced to ten and twenty years' imprisonment for offenses that nowhere else in the civilized world would have been punished with more than one or two years. Secretary Baker sympathized with medieval cruelty or he'd have revised these atrocious sentences. Dozens of men were tortured till they went mad in prison, or committed suicide, or died in agony, while Secretary Baker continued eating, drinking and talking platitudes, all the while callously neglecting his chief duty. He allowed these myriad crimes and devilish atrocities to be perpetrated without doing anything to prevent them.

The story of the martyrdom of the three Hofer brothers, who belonged to the religious sect of the Mennonites, will always in my mind be associated with Mr. Secretary Baker.

These men were objectors to war services on religious grounds. Though married, they were taken from their home in South Dakota to Camp Lewis. On the way they were treated worse than dogs. Their beards were clipped to make them ridiculous, and they were cursed by the various guards just to show them what our brand of Christianity means. After two months in close confinement they were court-martialed and sentenced to thirty-seven years' imprisonment! This, however was reduced by the base commander to twenty years.

They were sent to Alcatraz prison in San Francisco Bay fettered at the ankles and wrists. Here they were put in solitary dungeons below ground in darkness, filth and stench. For four and-a-half days they received no food. They had to sleep on the wet concrete floor without a blanket. During the next day and-a-half, they were manacled by the wrists to the bars of their cell, so high that they could hardly touch the floor with their feet. David, the one discharged man now at home, says he still feels the effects in his sides.

When they were taken out of the “hole” at the end of the week, they were covered with scurvy eruptions, insect-bitten, and with arms so swollen that they could not get the sleeves of their jackets on.

They had been beaten with clubs in the dungeons by their guards so unmercifully that when taken out, Michael fell down unconscious. Did Secretary Baker approve of this? If he didn't, he ought to have taken care that the brutality was never repeated.

The torturing at Alcatraz prison lasted for four months. Then they were transferred to Fort Leavenworth, chained two and two. The journey lasted four days and nights.

At Leavenworth they were driven through the streets and prodded with bayonets as if they were swine. They were manacled nine hours a day and given only a bread and water diet. Two of the brothers, Joseph and Michael, died under the torturing.

Is there any doubt as to who was the better man, the brothers Hofer who went through martyrdom to death for their noble belief, or Secretary Baker who was responsible for their murder?

After the facts had been brought before the Secretary of State again and again, month after month, day after day, at long last, on December 6, 1918, nearly a month after the war was ended, Secretary Baker found time to issue an order prohibiting cruel corporal punishment, and the handcuffing of prisoners to the bars of their dungeons, etc. Secretary Baker already knew such torture was being practiced, knew too, that it was illegal.

Five days later, however, Jacob Wipf, who had been confined with the Hofer brothers, was still handcuffed to the bars of his cell for nine hours a day. A monster petition for the release of conscientious objectors was laid before the Secretary of War and further relief was given to the tortured prisoners.

On January 27, 1919, 113 conscientious objectors were discharged from the barracks at Fort Leavenworth in pursuance of an order of Secretary Baker dated December 2. Even then, Jacob Wipf was not released. He was only set free on April 13, 1919.

Senator Norris, of Nebraska, who had been a judge before he became Senator, said: “The Mennonites are the best people on earth. I have never seen one of them in court. If everybody were as good as they, there would be no need of courts and prisons.”

Over two thousand conscientious objectors were sentenced in England to various terms of imprisonment. In no case, I believe, was a longer sentence given than two years. In no single case was torturing such as took place in our prisons even alleged. No British officers jabbed defenseless men with bayonets, or beat them with clubs, or kicked them, or killed them.

When a woman is accused before a London magistrate of soliciting men, or being a prostitute, and manages to clear herself of the charge, the magistrate always accords a sum of money from the poor-box to atone for the wrong done her.

This practice of compensation is a principle of English justice. For instance, a suffragette was sent to prison in Brixton in 1913. She slipped when in prison and broke her ankle. The prison doctor saw her and said it was nothing; she should go on walking. Her month ran out and she was discharged. A competent London doctor examined her and found that her anklebone had been broken; through not having been reset, one leg was permanently shorter than the other. The matter was brought to the notice of the Home Secretary, who happened to be Mr. Winston Churchill. He naturally exonerated the doctor from all blame, but accorded to the woman 500 pounds for the injury she had sustained.

I would call such action “remedial,” though it was hardly prompt. In cases of death through a mistake of the court or of the prison authorities, thousands of pounds have been paid to surviving relatives in Great Britain. This is true remedial action. Has Washington taken any such remedial actions in any one of the cases of tortured conscientious objectors?

CHAPTER IX

My first visit to Japan, nearly half a century ago now, was one of intense enjoyment. I was interested at once as I have never been interested anywhere else. Almost immediately I grasped the main fact that the people were freer of morality than even the French. I meant to stay a month and stayed nearly six. I went all the way up the inland sea and began, I think, to understand that great people. I had good help from an English captain who owned the chief English newspaper in Japan. He soon became a friend and never tired of putting me right.

The first thing that struck me wherever I went in Japan was the astonishing politeness and courtesy of the people. To enter a hotel or an inn was a real pleasureeveryone seemed glad to see you and the waitresses were smiling with pleasure and delighted to do whatever they could for you.

Japan has been called the land of flowers. It is also the land of the most tender and passionate of women. The experience that brought home to me the truth of my last remark took place only one day after I arrived. It was with one of the pretty waitresses who, from the moment I entered the hotel, did their utmost to make my stay a pleasant one.

The waitress who served at my table in the dining room appeared the next morning at my bedside with a loaded breakfast tray. I had retired late, having talked far into the night with my friend, the English captain, and I had left instructions with the desk clerk for my breakfast to be served in my room at 10 a.m.

I woke up as the curtains were drawn back. The warm sunlight fell softly across my bed and a moment later, returned to consciousness, I was aware of the pleasantly featured young waitress. She moved across to me with the breakfast tray. Her smile was so real and her whole demeanor so charming that I broke out in English: “Your country is truly the land of flowers!”

She blushed prettily and set the tray in front of me.

“You understand English then?” I exclaimed delightedly. The day before she had not uttered a word.

“Yes sir,” she said politely. “Since we have so many English and American guests at the hotel, our manager insists that all the waitresses should speak a little English.”

I nodded delightedly. The Japanese were indeed a wonderful people!

“How old are you?” I asked.

“I am nearly nineteen!” she exclaimed.

“You are very pretty,” I said with a smile, hoping to draw her out. “I'm sure all the young men must be in love with you!”

“Indeed no, sir!” she laughed, bowing her pretty head. Never once did she indicate that she desired to leave the room, not by gesture nor by expression. This I found to be wonderful and interesting, as I was naked under the covers. This must have been obvious to her, for my chest was bare and one leg lay before her eyes. She was the essence of politeness. Of course my interest was aroused at once. I'd had a good night's sleep and my first vision upon waking up was of this pretty girl with the sun shining on her pretty, neatly starched uniform.

“Tell me,” I said provocatively, “is love forbidden in your country such that a beautiful girl like yourself has not a hundred admirers?”

She laughed and shook her head engagingly.

“Perhaps it's that you have no desire for love,” I went on. “Perhaps the young men are afraid that you will reproach them!”

Still she would not speak, but her smile remained and a soft light flickered in her delicate almond-shaped eyes.

“Come,” I said, “tell me the truth about yourself! Do you never long to have the experience of being loved? Has no man ever caressed you? Have you never given yourself completely to a man's embraces?”

“Oh sir,” she said, “why should you be interested in my poor life? I am a woman. That is enough. There is no secret!”

“No secret?”

“What is secret in a woman's desire?”

“And in her body?”

“It is a body, like any other. If there is any mystery, it is in a woman's soul.”

“Will you prove it to me?”

“How?” Her dark eyes flickered softly and there was a smile on her delicate, poppy-red lips.

“By showing it to me of course!” I said with a smile.

“Sir,” she said gaily, “you can see women any day in our country, in the public baths, and in the country districtseven on the streets!”

“That is all very well,” I said, “but it is your body I want to see. Will you show it to me?”

She hesitated.

I laughed. “You see? And now I shall not believe a word you have said!”

Imagine my surprise when, without a word, she began to undress before me! A moment later she was standing, young, sinuous, radiant, and naked before me. Her body was perfect, the breasts small, firm and round with light brown nipples no bigger than raisins, her thighs slim and full at the same time, and her buttocks firm and poised tremulously beneath her narrow waist. I did not need to ask her to turn this way and that so that I might examine her more particularly. She appeared to realize intuitively that I wished to have a glimpse of her from all angles. Thus she posed for me, first facing me and then with her back towards me, and then suddenly she clasped her hands in front of me and laughed.

Without hesitation, I slipped from the bed and crossed the floor towards her. I rose naked from the bed, my erection standing out before me. She made no effort to flee from me, but waited until I had traversed the distance between us and had placed my hands on her slim shoulders.

“How perfectly lovely you are!” I exclaimed.

She laughed and swayed forward, touching her firm little tits against my chest tantalizingly. I looked down and saw the neat, small, triangular shape of her mount with its smooth plumage of blue-black hair that threaded its way delicately upwards towards her navel. I encircled her with my arms and crushed her body close. She lay against me without resisting, one of her knees raised slightly against my thigh.

I was utterly delighted with her. Was it naivete that let her to allow a stranger to clasp her in this way? I think that would be the wrong word. No, it was rather the true innocence of the pagan who is happily incapable of comprehending our Western notion of modesty. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to her to satisfy my curiosity. She rejoiced in the affirmation of her young sexuality, in the possibility of the carnal delight which, untroubled by the cataracts of morality, was a thing to be taken and held firmly while her youth was still with her.

Very gently, I reached around under her buttocks with one arm and raised her from the floor. She seemed to have no density at all. I carried her across to the bed without effort and laid her at full length on the warm sheets. She smiled up at me, passive except for the falling sideways of one thigh, which revealed between the smooth yellow surfaces the delicate pink tract of her pussy. Without haste, I leaned over her and took her left nipple between my lips. I sucked on it gently and felt it grow hard under my mouth. Her eyes flickered beneath their long, smooth lashes, and then, like delicate curtains, were closed. At the same time, she raised her knees and allowed them to fall open like loose scissors. This had the effect of distending her cunt in such a way that the hair near its summit parted to reveal the little bud of her clitoris. I moved my fingers there gently to stimulate the flow of her love-juice. At the first contact of my fingers, her pretty mouth fell open to allow her to breathe more deeply as she allowed herself to be submerged in her passion.

Soon I felt her body arch upwards in her effort to give herself completely to me. Her delicate little hands sought my head and guided it skillfully between her thighs so that my mouth came to rest on the smooth pad of hair that parted like grass under gentle strokes of my tongue.

The whole affair had been so casual, without hurry, without breathlessness, that I had perhaps more time to examine her grotto than I had hitherto had in any previous experience of that kind. I was able to examine the way each individual hair was embedded in the pulpy flesh of her mound, the way in which they had a tendency to curl towards the tips, doubtless due to the fact that she habitually wore a kind of loincloth that not only compressed the hairs but caused a delicate and not at all pungent sweat to father there. Her slit was exceedingly small, much smaller than that of any of the Chinese women with whom I'd had sexual experience during the past few months. Indeed, I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that it was the smallest and perhaps the prettiest cunt I had ever seen.

Soon I allowed my tongue to move in between the sloping hair-trimmed surfaces. Her love-juice was not at all unpleasant to taste. It reminded me more than anything else of the white of an egg, but with a heavier, human quality about it, doubtless again because of the hothouse atmosphere that was the normal condition of her private parts. I stroked slowly, worrying the little stamen of her clitoris with my upper lip at the same time as I penetrated more deeply with my tongue. By this time her hands had come underneath her buttocks and she raised herself to the length of her forearms and supported herself on twin pedestals. Her legs were astride like the shafts of a cart. How soft and satin-like her thighs were against my cheeks! I goosed her in this way for a long time, running my fingers between the mellow cushions of her buttocks until, with one of my middle fingers, I found the soft, puckered indentation which was like a button between them. It is strange how there should be such taboo in relation to this region of the human body in all the Western countries, while in the East it is treated naturally as a second instrument of the body's pleasure. I experienced no revulsion whatsoever when, without warning, her arms collapsed beneath her and her soft buttocks fell downwards onto the rigidity of my finger. As she sank downwards, she groaned and bucked slightly. Then, taking me by the hair of my head, she drew me upwards until my cock, poised at her entrance, broke softly into her pussy canal and slid, warmly coated by love-juice, in deeply to the hilt. At once, I felt my plunger and my short hairs inundated by the delicate froth of her loins. I sighed and undulated my hips gently in the motions of love.

“You darling!” I cried. “You are making me all wet!”

She answered me with a pretty smile. Then, her face growing serious, she drew my mouth down against her own. Her little tongue darted into my mouth and traced delicate filigrees behind my teeth. Our teeth clicked and we burst out laughing. I seized her thick hair which had been cut in the usual way in which Japanese women style itcut short of shoulder length and falling like a bell about the pronounced Oriental cheeksand pinned her laughing head to the bed.

“How pretty you are!” I couldn't help exclaiming. “What a marvelous time we are going to have together while I am here!”

“Be more brutal,” she said softly, her rich voice tinged with insinuation. “I want you to try to kill me by loving!”

In immediate response to her desire, I thrust violently into her with strong strokes, at the same time allowing my second forefinger to join my first so that the remaining part of my hands crushed the firm flesh of either buttock and propelled her body into a dizzy oscillation. My cock pounded into her again with such force that my balls slapped her upturned buttocks with each ramming stroke. Her belly grew wet with perspiration and her pretty mouth, the teeth bared, drove itself into my neck. I rose and fell on her, my rod tingling from tip to base, relishing the soft smacking sound which the thick, hollow flesh of our bellies created between them. She was mad with lust. She forget her English and a stream of Japanese words and exclamations burst from her lips against my neck and shoulder, her voice husky and lilting. What enjoyment I derived from the slim yellow body with its blue-black hair between the gracefully curving thighs!

As we rose to our first climax, simultaneously, we both cried out in our native tongues. My sperm pumped into her like water from a well, spouting forth uncontrollably and in a seemingly never ending stream. Only then, only at that tremendous moment, did I remember that I had not asked her whether she had taken precautions against conception. I did so at once. She shook her head laughingly. But I was serious. I had no desire that this sweet girl should become pregnant by me.

Thus, in spite of her expostulations, I pulled my cock from her with a wet popping sound. Then, her small face puckered up in mock anger, she came into my arms again.

This time I was determined to experience that other kind of love which is so highly thought of in the East. To that end I turned her gently over so that she was lying on her belly in front of me. After thinking a moment, I placed a large cushion under her belly to raise her gently curved buttocks into a better position for penetration. She appeared to know exactly what I wanted of her. Turning her head until she faced me, she laughed up at me. When I smiled back she wriggled her bottom in a delicious manner. The little pink bud between her buttocks was firm as rubber. I felt it gently with the tips of my fingers.

I decided immediately that it would be too cruel to force a path rudely without the use of some kind of lubrication, though I had already done so with my fingers. She smiled gratefully as I rose from her and went to fetch some medical oil from my case. When I returned with it, she raised herself even further so that the little budding mouth should be more accessible. I poured a pool of oil into the palm of one hand, stood the bottle by the side of the bed, and set about working the oil into the coral-colored pucker of her warm little ring. I tested it then with my fingers. They slipped in easily and seemed to cause her no pain at all.

The thought of what I was about to do had caused my prick to become reinvigorated. It throbbed and jerked between my legs, the head an angry crimson hue. Had I been more of a sentimentalist, I might have desisted, but her trust and the preparation which she had made by engineering herself into the appropriate position removed all doubts from my mind. She expected me to go through with it.

Gently, I lowered myself down towards her, placing the tip of my piston precisely on the oily bud. With my hands I drew the fleshy part of her buttocks sideways to distend the centerpiece as much as possible. There were few hairs about it. It was warm and pregnant with anticipation against my member.

At that moment, from her bent position, she flashed me a glance which was not only permissive but demanding and, having done so, buried her face in the bed in front of her. I had no right to hesitate longer. Guiding my member with one hand, I allowed myself to fall forward from the knees, surely and simultaneously longing to penetrate without difficulty or causing pain by a sudden forward movement of the hips. At the same time, she herself acted. Her buttocks rose and thrust themselves towards me with all their might and she cried out deliriously. Imagine my astonishment when the puckered ring opened like strong elastic to contain the knob of my sex. I found myself all of a sudden sucked inwards right up to the hilt!

After the initial stretching there was no further resistance. Her buttocks were warm and firm against my belly and my cock was held firmly in the tightest, smoothest, most delightful little sheath that you can imagine!

I began to fuck her ass, tentatively at first, and when she groaned with pleasure, more strongly, almost brutally. At the same time I encircled her lower torso with one arm, my wrist pressed against her belly and my fingers working in the wetness of her sex and clitoris. She uttered a long moan of pleasure which had the effect of stimulating me to further and even more brutal effort. She wished to be taken just in this way! At that point, I ceased altogether to treat the strange intrusion as an experiment. With my free hand, my forearm across her lovely shoulder blades, I grasped her by the hair at the scruff of her neck, forcing her face firmly against the bed. Then, with regular strong strokes, I was at her, sheathing and unsheathing myself madly, working her clitoris wildly with my fingers. At the same time the passion once again rose in my member and the flow of my semen moved upwards. I shot a steaming load into her anal canal, continuing my brutal motion until the tightness of her muscle had wrung me dry. But this time, when I was finished, she was not. She made me withdraw immediately and thrust me away from her. At first I thought she was angry with me. Anger is sometimes almost indistinguishable from erotic passion. This young Japanese girl was given over to it with almost religious fervor.

“Just a moment!” she cried.

Crossing the room in a few bounds, she returned with one of those spade-like, stiff brushes for clothes. This time she would have none of the bed. Setting herself on her knees on the floor, she threw herself in a rippling and naked arch backwards so that her thighs, belly, the moist smile of her slit, and her breasts were exposed to me. I was gazing from her to the stiff, straw-bristled brush which she had thrust into my hands. But her voice cut through my hesitation.

“Quick!” she cried passionately. “Beat me hard!”

I had no alternative but to do as I was bid. Quickly, to bring relief to her warm and anxious lust, I was over her. I brought the brush down with a hard thwack on the soft mound of her belly. A tremendous vibration passed through her rippling flesh.

“Harder!” she cried.

Although nervous, I took my courage in both hands and set about warming the entire front of her body. The more she flinched, the more punishment she required. Soon she was rolling about on the carpet calling upon me to continue the brutal rain of blows. Once again she succeeded in making me lose control. I found myself slashing at her cruelly as she rolled about ecstatically. My arm rose and fell with increasing vigor. The desire to punish fused in my imagination with the desire to hear her triumphant, pleading sobs and see her pale, sweat-sheened body leap upwards and sideways lustfully to meet the blows. And then suddenly, she emitted a tearful wail and hurled herself at my thighs. One of her hands grasped my cock and thrust it into her mouth. Gazing downwards at the pretty head which sought to bury itself at my groin, I was amazed to see myself once again rigid. No sooner did the realization come over me, than I toppled sideways onto the carpet. She sucked me deeply for several minutes, running her tongue over the shining expanse of my prick head and its turgid length. We wrestled and fought uncontrollably until, once again, her belly rose upwards to expose her naked cunt. I pulled her legs over my shoulders and drove my prick into her with all my might, all thought of precaution forgotten. All I wanted to do was fuck this girl senseless! She breathed deeply between her sobs and our passion caused our flesh to shudder more deeply than I can remember. By this time I had pinioned her hands on either side to the floor so that she lay as though crucified below me. I rose and fell against her, our bellies smacking together in a welter of sweat until, just as the new inundation coursed through the sensitive tissue of my meat, I felt her body grow weak, accepting the ichor of my passion. Her lovely young face, tearful and ecstatic at the same time, pleaded with me to stop.

“Oh,” she cried, “stop nowI can't bear any moreI shall die of pleasure! Please…”

Her eyes were closed and her tremulous young bosom rose and fell out of control. Her limbs were slack and spread on the floor. All possibility of effort had deserted her!

Gently, more tenderly than ever, I rose from her, lifted her in my arms and carried her to the bed.

Ten minutes later she opened her eyes. The coffee which I brought to her was only lukewarm, but it seemed to revive her and she drank it gratefully from the cup I held to her lips.

“You gave me so much love!” she said when she had drunk. “Really, I thought my body would burst with pleasure.”

I kissed her gently and told her to rest for the remainder of the day. I would explain to the manager, I said. She should have no fear of taking the rest she so well deserved and so badly needed. I kissed her, drew the bedclothes upwards over her lovely shoulders and went about my own toilet feeling that I had found at last a country in which love in all its varied beauty was accepted gratefully without shame as the most important gift in a good life.

The manager proved to be a very nice fellow. He cut short my explanations and prayed me to say no more about it. The chambermaid-waitress was a good girl, he said. He would gladly excuse her from her duties for the remainder of the day.

All through the country I had the same experience. Both love and courtesy were present to a degree unknown in Europe. Of course, I soon learned that this courtesy is developed in the home, where everyone bows to age. The grandfather and grandmother are most respected, then come the father and the mother, and then the children. And the children obey the same law: The eldest girl or boy come into the room first, the others follow in order of agean astonishingly courteous people to whom deference is a pleasure. The Japanese language, too, is full of ceremonial phrases which are impossible to translate into any European tongue. They are the politest race in the world and perhaps the most amiable.

Many scenes stand out in my memory. I remember an up-country town where my rickshaw was stopped by some naked girls and women who came out of a bathing place. They all wanted to see if I was white all over and I could only laugh and let them convince themselves. The crowd increased to half a hundred. They were of all ages and all entirely naked. When I touched the breasts of a pretty girl she seemed pleased and the whole crowd laughed as at a good joke. Unfortunately, I had not the time to ascertain whether I could make love with her. I had an appointment which I could not break.

Bit by bit I came to understand that there was not a trace of sexual modesty in Japan from one end to the other. Most of the women could not even understand what Europeans meant by the concept!

Every foreigner is eager to see geishas dancing, but usually is astonished at first to find how modest and how graceful the dances are, more like those of ancient Greece perhaps than any I can think of. But the “modesty” is purely formal. It does not reflect a Puritanism of spirit.

The geisha ya are places where the dancing girls are trained and let out day or evening to tea-houses or private parties. They are generally managed by women. Little girls are taken into these houses and trained not only in the art of dancing, but are also taught singing and samisen playing and all the etiquette of entertaining guests. The geisha is always willing to become the mistress of any foreigner who desires her and from whom she can expect a fair sum of money; but in Japan she is not looked down upon as she would be in Europe. The geisha are the pleasantest part of Japanese entertainments. As soon as the dainty girls enter the room, sometimes in gold or scarlet, and dance as though they are leaves driven by the wind, all the guests wake up. Sometimes the girls will play warrior and copy the warlike gestures of old heroes. Then, suddenly, they give up pretences and come and sit beside their temporary employers, laughing, jesting and drinking.

Soon the foreigner finds out that the geishas are really dancers and that the prostitute or joro is of a lower class altogether. Every city in Japan has its joroya a licensed quarter of prostitution. The supervision is rigid. But even these women are not looked down upon in Japan as they would be in Europe. Many of them are apprenticed in childhood to the keepers of the houses and there trained for their work. A few have sacrificed themselves freely for those they love. Many romances are written about a virtuous joro who has sacrificed herself for her loved one and finds a lover willing and eager to make her again a respectable wife and a mother of decent children.

There are theatres for men and theatres for women, but the two sexes never play on the same stage. I don't know why. The performances last all day from eight or nine in the morning till eight or nine in the evening. They were not especially interesting to me.

But the most peculiar and important entertainment is the fortune-teller. Of course they have a great deal of influence with the lowest class, but they are consulted on important occasionsmarriages, journeysby all classes.

The freedom in Japan is very interesting. I remember being asked by a court official to stay with him and study Japanese manners in his house. My friend, the captain, advised me to accept and I did so.

The first evening, my host told me in his broken English that his wife would be too old to be attractive to me and his daughters too young, but he would send me a pretty girl to entertain me during the night. I laughed, never thinking that he meant what he said.

But when I got to my bedroom, I found a pretty maid awaiting me. As soon as I entered she began to undress. She was too pretty to be sent away. I recognized her at once as the most charming of the servants who had waited on us at table.

Much to my delight, I found that she had an exceedingly small cunt that she had scented with rosewater. We fucked in every position imaginable. I took her flat on her back, with her legs upraised, on her knees in canine fashion, and even as she lay on her side. She seemed to love seeing my stiff cock shuttle in and out of her sopping pussy. She reacted passionately to every variation of embrace and reached her climax at least four times until finally her soft and sweat-lathered body fell limp in my arms. My friend, the captain, laughed when I told him and said that nothing was more usual.

Nevertheless, it is undoubtedly the system of concubinage that degrades the whole status of women in Japan. The Emperor, in accordance with the old Chinese code, is allowed twelve concubines or mekake, the samurai two. All men of the upper class are allowed to introduce these mekake into their families and naturally these concubines, though beneath the wife in position, are often more beloved than the wife herself.

In the lower classes, the wife often protests and maintains her exclusive rights, but the wife of the nobleman is not powerful enough: The nobleman is not dependent on her toil. Consequently, the position of the wife of the noble in Japan is usually unhappy and often tragic. By a recent law, no child of a concubine can inherit a legal title and this may do much to establish the upper class woman in a more secure position.

During my travels in that country I often came upon some woman or girl taking a bath. Never did I see the slightest trace of embarrassment, much less modesty. The woman would get out of the hot bath and proceed to dry herself with her little blue towel just as if there was no man within ten miles of her. I would watch excitedly as she dabbed her breasts, belly, and the generous mossing on her mount. She would proceed without concern. At the same time I have heard Japanese ladies speak scornfully of the low-necked dresses worn by English and American ladies at Court. Who will ever explain the thousand eccentricities of manners?

In many respects I found life in Japan much saner than life in Europe. But in one respect there was no comparison. If you took a geisha as a mistress and asked her whether she was healthy or not, you could rely on her answerespecially if you treated her fairly. Consequently there was far less danger of foul venereal disease in Japan than in Europe. Also, there was less danger of begetting a child, for every geisha knew how to prepare a little wad of oiled paper which she introduced into the vagina and so made pregnancy practically impossible.

In many ways, I came to regard Japan as the France of the East, not only in the disdain of ordinary modesty, but also in love of art and appreciation of artists and writers. Besides, just as there is a heroic soul behind all the flighty heedlessness of the French character, so there is an extraordinary heroism in Japan that every now and then astonishes the observer. If a wife injures her husband, or a soldier makes some blunder that brings ruin to others, each does justice by taking his or her own life. I could go on almost interminably, extolling the virtues of this great people, but try as I would, I could never, considering the shortness of my stay in the country, hope to give an adequate historical document. Instead, I shall move on at once to what I can speak of with authority, to the subject of the young woman who, more than any other person, was responsible for the longing I still feel after all these years for “the land of flowers.”

I was invited by my friend, the captain, to a festive evening. He had brought together a special corps of geishas, and they were attended by women who came and sat with us while their more exalted sisters danced. The young lady who came to me was the prettiest of the whole lot; I suppose I showed her that I admired her. At any rate, the dance was not half over when her hand began to stray against my thigh. She soon went on to bolder demonstrations of desire, brushing the stiffening bulge of my cock with her fingertips. At length I said to her, “Later,” one of the few Japanese words I knew. She pouted and then laughed with enjoyment. I allowed my hand to move softly over the silk of her tunic.

When the geishas finished their dance and came back to sit with us, I said to my host: “Is it possible for me to keep my attendant?”

“Sure,” he replied, and with a word or two made my resolve known. Never did I see such gratitude in any human face as the young lady showed to me there. I was sure that the compliment paid to her in preferring her to the more important geishas would be returned in full. I was not mistaken.

As soon as we were alone together in the bedroom, she evinced a mixture of affection and passion such as it has seldom been my good fortune to experience. She was pretty and beautifully formed and had all the wisdom of a perfect lover. She drew my trousers down and took my engorged tool in her mouth without hesitation. She swished around the mushroom head, flicking lightly over the tip, then used long strokes to lave the length of my shaft. When she arrived at my balls she gently took them into her mouth one at a time, then released them with a wet popping sound. She returned to the darkly blushing crown while she manipulated me with her hand, urging me to spend in her mouth. So relaxed was I that this was not long in coming. Yet, as my spunk rose, she gripped me tightly enough to force it down, only to commence the voluptuous cycle once again. By the third repetition I was squirming with incredible desire and raging orgasms that had been brought upon me without the release to which every man is accustomed. This was the sign of my geisha's skill and I have never met another woman who could emulate her talents. At last, seeing that my body was unaccustomed to such unadulterated pleasure, she once again brought me to the precipice and this time urged me over. I fairly exploded in her mouth while she expertly swallowed every drop, though she let some dribble past her lips and shared this with me in a long and lingering kiss. A strange thoughtful mistress, she was clever enough to cease exciting me when she knew my body was satiated, her own body a perfect instrument of love. Both by her passion and by her self-control she made the nights memorable for me.

I made the mistake of thinking that after the first night it was all over. When the captain and I met in the morning, I told him all my feelings and give him a ten pound note to convey my satisfaction to my little friend. To my wonder and his, the money was refused! The beautiful and gracious woman told me with a brave glance that she would always be willing to welcome me gratis. My friend declared that it was the first time in all his twenty years' acquaintance with Japan that such a thing had happened.

About a week later, I received a letter from the woman saying that she cared for me and if I wished she would come and be my servant until I left Japan. Thank God I had sense enough to accept her offer. Of what happened then, I shall speak now.

It was my little attendant who taught me all I know of Japan and a good deal about female nature to boot.

First of all, she showed me that the position of women in Japan among the better classes was far lower than I had ever supposed. She assured me that the boy in the family was everything and that the girl had to do what she was told. If she married, the inferiority only intensified. Whatever her husband did was good, and if his will ran counter to hers in anything, she had simply to give in or be broken. She taught me that the Japanese wife was everything to her husbandnot only a mistress but a valet as well. She takes care of his clothing, brings it to him in the morning and helps to put it on and must put away with care whatever he takes off. In the poorer families all the washing, sewing and mending is done by the wife. Every Japanese woman (excepting those of the highest rank) knows how to sew, and makes not only her own garments, and those of her children, but her husband's as well.

It is the wife who gets up first in the morning, wakes the servants and prepares the breakfast. As soon as she puts out the andon, which is the only night-light used in Japanese houses and is merely a piece of wick floating in a saucer of vegetable oil, she opens the sliding doors, lets in a flood of light and completes her hasty toilet.

Certainly a Japanese man is lucky in having all the little things in life attended to by his thoughtful wife. She is a good, considerate, careful body-servant, always on hand to bear for him all the trifling worries and cares.

Once the husband is started on his daily rounds, the wife settles down to the work of the house. Her sphere is within her home, and though, unlike other Asiatic women, she goes without restraint alone through the streets, she does not concern herself with the world. Yet she is not barred from all intercourse with the outer world, for there are sometimes great dinner parties, given perhaps at home, when she must appear as hostess, side by side with her husband, and share with him the duty of entertaining the guests.

So rigid are the requirements of Japanese hospitality that no guest is allowed to leave a house without having been pressed to partake of food, if it be only tea and cake. Even tradesmen or messengers who come to the house must be offered tea. If carpenters, gardeners, or workmen of any kind are employed about the house, tea must be served in the middle of the afternoon with a light lunch, and tea sent out to them often during their day's work. If a guest arrives in rickshaw, not only the guest, but the rickshaw men must be supplied with refreshments. All these things involve much thought and care on the part of the lady of the house.

Among the daily tasks of the housewife, one, and by no means the least of her duties, is to receive, duly acknowledge, and return in a suitable manner, the presents received in the family. Presents are not confined to special seasons. Children visiting in the family are always given toys. For this purpose a stock is kept on hand. The present giving culminates at the close of the year when all friends and acquaintances exchange gifts of value according to their feelings and means. Should there be anyone who has been especially kind, and to whom return should be made, this is the time to do it.

The Japanese mother takes great delight and comfort in her children, and the right directions of their habits and manners is her constant thought and care. She seems to govern them entirely by gentle admonition, and the severest chiding that is given them is always in a pleasant voice, and accompanied by a smiling face. Even with plenty of servants, the mother performs for her children nearly all the duties often delegated to nurses in other countries.

From my beautiful attendant I learned everything connected with sex in that wondrous country. She taught me that sexual modesty, as we understand it, is utterly unknown in Japan and China. She brought me to the geisha ya the establishments where dancing girls are trained before they are let out by the day or evening to tea-houses or private parties. She had been trained in one of these from the age of seven by the woman proprietor, and she was one of the best dancers I had ever seen.

She took me to professional storytellers or hanashika, just as she took me too to favorite spots near Tokyo to see the famous cherry blossoms in April and May. Thousands of visitors crowd to Uyeno Park for the cherry and peach blossoms, to Kameido for the plum and wisteria, and to Oji for its famous maple trees. A prize fight near London, or a horse race would hardly attract a larger crowd and would scarcely be more educative. My guide made me understand gradually that Japanese civilization was higher than the English save in the one essential of religion.

Through the knowledge of Japan, I learned what Christianity with its care for the individual soul had done for women.

The moment we spoke of sex, her revelations became extraordinary. I asked her during the first days how she had lost her maidenhead. She told me that one of the schoolmistresses had approached her when she was thirteen and had soon kissed all her virginity away. This woman had used tongue and fingers, but had also schooled her in the use of artificial means to stimulate pleasure. For instance, she had brought with her a rod of polished ivory that was masterfully worked into the shape of a man's organ, complete with balls and even a fringe of hair. When she had licked the nearly bald pussy of her young charge, and stretched those tender lips with her fingers, she had inserted the end of this device and begun to work it in and out. She fed more and more of it into the hungry maw in which it was embedded until the pleasure it elicited was so great that my lover had begged her schoolmistress to stop. That had been the beginning of her education in the mysteries of the flesh. She told me never to go with anyone in the Yoshiwara. If I wanted anyone, she would soon find out if they were healthy or not and let me know.

“But,” she said, “you are rich, you can have a lovely girl whenever you like without any danger. Why run any risk?”

At length, shamefaced, I said: “Could you find me one?”

“A dozen,” she replied laughing, “more seductive than I am.”

In the long run she brought me a girl exquisitely pretty and amiable, but no better in sexual matters than herself. From that moment on I determined to remain devoted to my little attendant, and though I was unfaithful once or twice, for the greater part of my stay in Japan I contented myself with her.

There was nothing in the way of sex she did not know. She delighted in showing herself to me and was not averse to explaining that when she liked a man, her cunt thrilled and plagued her all day long.

“Do you ever touch it?” I asked.

“What good would that do?” she replied. “When I touch it myself, I feel almost nothing, but when you touch it, I go nearly mad.”

I soon found that her pussy, like those of the others, was very small, but she assured me that this was a mere question of race.

“The Chinese,” she said, “are far larger than the Japanese.” But passion, she always insisted, was a question of temperament and not of bodily organs. In time I came to agree with her. “Often,” she said, “you make me feel so intensely that my womb comes down to meet you and the inside of my thighs quivers and is sensitive for hours afterwards. I shall be so unhappy when you go away. I would rather die than live and yet I know that you will not, cannot stay here much longer. What am I to do when I can see you no more?”

What was I to say or do? To the best of my ability I consoled her. But before I went, she introduced me to her friend, one of the most charming girls I have ever met. She was not one of the prettiest, though her figure was superb, and her face was hardly more than piquant and interesting. But she was full of tricks and whimsies of all sorts. The first time we met she told me she thought it “disgusting” when I kissed her. Kissing was a dirty Western custom, she said, but she had no other reservations and showed an individuality of feeling that fascinated me.

She told me curious things: She never wished to give herself to a man until he said or did something that won her. After that there was no resistance. “For instance,' she said, “I saw you kiss my friend's hand, and the courtesy and gentleness of it woke desire in me.”

Shortly afterwards, I took her into the bedroom. She stripped without a word, but when I had kissed her a little while she grew wild.

“I want everything,” she said, but when she got it she came back to the kissing. I fucked her hard. Perhaps this was a response to the revulsion she said she had when I kissed her. Interestingly, she had no such reservation when it came to having my cock buried in her pussy. She accepted all of me graciously, acting to heighten my pleasure as I plowed her by raising herself up to me so that I penetrated more deeply and slapped her upturned buttocks with my balls. She continued to adamantly turn her face away as I lowered mine to kiss her, even when she seemed in the throes of debilitating passion. But I did manage to clamp my lips to hers during one particularly forceful down stroke, after which she relaxed in my arms and seemed to capitulate.

“I had no idea,” she cried, “that kissing means more to girls, excites us more than anything else. You have no idea what it means to me. I feel as if I were going mad! Have you done it to any other girl?”

“To many,” I replied. “Some respond as you do, but the majority are comparatively cold.”

“Oh pshaw!” she exclaimed, “you kiss them and let them touch you at the same time and they won't want anything better in life.”

I said to her: “I want you to feel as much as you can. You are beautifully made. I want you to reach the ultimate. Tell me how.”

“Begin slowly,” she said, “and keep on till I tell you to stop.”

And so I did. After a quarter of an hour kissing her pussy and licking inside the pink lips, she began to sigh and squirm and at length she cried: “Stop, stop. I can't stand any more. I'm getting hysterical now and that frightens me!”

My chief pleasure has always been in giving pleasure to girls, for the spasm of delight of a man is too quickly over and brings with it an extraordinary weakness and tiredness that does not disappear for some time. A woman however, feels little exhaustion.

When I think of the devotion of my beautiful attendant, I am always astonished. She loved me, yet never showed any sexual jealousy. On one of the first occasions she brought a pretty geisha to me she said: “She is pretty but I don't think you'll care for her.” Then she got her to lie down and exposed her pussy. “You see,” she said, parting the moist lips, “she's not very small and she takes a long time to excite.”

“How do you know that?” I asked.

“Because I tried with my tongue before bothering you with her. But she wanted to come anyway, thinking, I suppose, her eyes would win you.” The girl's eyes were indeed very pretty.

Barring exact detail, I think I have said enough to show the extent of my debt to my little Oriental angel. It remains only for me to describe one heavenly night which I spent in her company.

To be precise, there was another girl present, another friend whom she had selected carefully for our night of love. “Look!” she said when she produced this friend. “She is really worth love! Her cunt is tighter than mine and with one touch it is all aflame!”

As I stood gazing at these two adorable creatures, each one nude, each perfect in her own way, I felt a tremendous desire stir in my loins.

“And don't think I'm going to leave you alone with her!” my lover laughed merrily. “Who knows? Both of us together may be able to keep you here in Kyoto! For I know you love me, Frank, and if what you say about your Western women is true, I don't understand why you wish to return to them. Now, use us, dear, just as you please!”

For a moment I was too dumbfounded to move! These two superb creatures with their pale, lemon-yellow skins, their neat hips, their perfect breasts, and their almost identical heads, set high on smooth, proud necks and capped by neat bells of blue-black hair. I had never before been offered so much and so delightfully! As I say, I was for a moment incapable of the slightest movement. But at last I said: “Stand where you are, close together, facing me!”

They laughed prettily and did as they were bid. Quickly, I removed my own clothes so that I stood naked before them, my cock standing out straight. My eyes were hypnotized by the twin cunts, by the neat chevrons of silky dark hairs which clung close to their lower bellies and disappeared in a neat point at the junction of their thighs, and even more perhaps by the beautiful ivory smoothness of the bellies themselves, indented neatly at their centers by the prettiest of navels. I moved over to them, and, falling on my knees in front of them, I encircled the smooth buttocks of each with either arm. The choice was before metwo pretty pussies, delicately scented after a manner in which only Japanese women know how, at the level of my doting lips!

“Taste us in turn!” my own sweet lover laughed delightedly. “Her firstshe is the guest!”

With my forehead against the warm belly of the other woman, I allowed my lips to mingle with her silky hairs, parting them with my tongue to find her sweet-smelling little clitoris.

Both girls laughed prettily and spoke in Japanese.

“What are you saying?” I said, faintly annoyed.

“Only that you will have to dig deep to find the gold!” exclaimed my friend in her lilting voice.

At that very moment my tongue, moving tentatively between the delicately fringed lips of the girl's sex, tasted an indescribable sweetness. I allowed it to slide into the slit and into the soft depths. Imagine my astonishment when a perfectly delightful ichor spread about my taste buds! The nearest I can come to the description of it is to say that it had the consistency of honey and tasted of violet and rose-leaves. At the same time I was conscious of the girl's quiver under my caress.

“You darlings!” I cried. “What have you done to yourselves?”

“An old love secret,” my lover explained. Then she added: “Why don't you take us both to the divan where we can be comfortable and relax. If my guess is correct, you will want to explore us both in this way for a long time!”

How right she was! The divan was a broad one. I lay between them with my feet towards their heads, or rather, so that my prick, rampant now with the urgency of the situation, was on a level with their mouths. I tasted first one and then the other, exploring, sucking, savoring, while they, darling lovers that they were, moved about my loins with their soft mouths, teasing my body into ecstasy. Soon both pussies became sticky and wet under my mouth, four lovely thighs rose upwards to allow deeper and more intimate penetration, and the coral lips of the young and small bushes opened like wet and loving mouths, much as flowers might, to exude the sweetest of ichors. If I had to say what liquid came nearest in my imagination to the mythical ambrosia, I would say that the natural liquid distilled in those warm ruby sheathes, mingling with the potion they had secreted there to lure me on, was undoubtedly the one. My lips were afire with lust to taste more deeply, more urgently, spreading the love juice amongst the shining hairs and onto the soft, delicately female-scented thighs.

How lovely those thighs were, loose and lascivious, falling, moving like the slow tentacles of an underwater plant. Simultaneously, my own loins seemed besieged by the gentlest attack of butterflies, with one maiden taking my member between her wet and cushioned lips and the other, patient and doting between my buttocks, tracing the delicate skin of my love-sock with the gentlest of tongues. Indeed, I quite forgot which pussy was which, so I had no opportunity of showing preference!

That was the beginning. As my tonguing became more purposeful, my upper lips working the clitoris as my tongue delved deep among the ambrosia, each in her turn rose to a frantic climax, the torso quivering in rapture, the twin sighs, and I, my hands close to the bare buttocks, drawing each warm, sweet mass of honeyed pussy hair to my face. I licked deeply, stabbing first one throbbing canal, and then the other.

In this way, over a period of an hour, I raised them each three times to the highest pitch of ecstasy. I discharged twice under their twin caress, my sperm swallowed lovingly by the girls in turn. To my dismay, I found that they were only eager for more, only eager to make a perpetual night of this almost religious adoration!

Reluctantly, I rose from between them.

“You've quite tired me out, you darlings!” I groaned. “Although I reached my climaxes without effort, I feel as though I have been drained dry of all my passion!”

My lover laughed and her friend joined her in her merriment.

“What do you wish us to do to excite you?” my companions murmured engagingly.

I laughed. And then I had an inspiration.

“Let me see you make love to one another then!” I cried.

“Of course!” the girls agreed. In an instant they were in each other's arms, their bellies pressed together and their little breasts with the superbly-shaped nipples nuzzling, rubbing into each other and causing such a friction that I had no doubt that they were both in ecstasy. Much to my surprise, they each fought to play the male role, wrestling with their thighs and arms to attain dominance. What a peculiar desire that was, that two such adorable women, taken in an impulse to make love to one another, should each seek to deny her own sex! I burst out laughing. But they did not appear to be aware of me. They fought like wildcats, each trying to mount the other, at the same time trying to pry the other's thighs apart.

In the end, it was my own lover who succeeded in bettering the other. Her little bottom was poised nearly between the other's thighs before their clitties stabbed together to awaken the frenzy of passion which lay in the depth of their wombs. At that point, the other gave way. She allowed her thighs to fall apart helplessly, surrendered herself to be taken, or seemingly so, for of course the girls were quite incapable of penetrating one another and had to be content with the high-pitched but unfinal climax which is afforded by clitoral excitement.

My thoughts returned to my first night in Japan when the waitress-chambermaid had handed me the stiff brush. The idea came to me that I could excite myself by whipping them while they were locked together in their lust, for though the spectacle interested me greatly, it had little or no aphrodisiac effect. Glancing around the room, my eyes alighted on a thin bamboo that supported a fern native to Japan which stood in the corner. I swiftly untied it from the plant and drew it out of the earth. I tested it once or twice in the air. It was supple and its resilience remarkable.

I returned to the divan where the lovers still wrestled in their mock sex-battle. I raised the cane and brought it down with all my force on the ripe buttocks of my own little darling who, poor dear, paid a high price for her triumphant assertion of manhood. She squealed and rolled aside. Without hesitation, I delivered a second blow, this time on the downy soft bottom of her friend.

At first I was not sure if they enjoyed the whipping, but it soon became obvious to me that they did. It served to increase their excitement to new and greater intensity. For one thing, it made a real battle of their lustful embrace and that they wished it to continue could not be questioned, for if they had not, it would have been the easiest thing in the world for them to break away from one another. But they made no attempt to do so. On the contrary, they goosed and kissed and licked one another all the more passionately, their encounter intensified in its passion by the competitive spirit the cruel bamboo introduced. I think I can say with all honesty that the girls would never have experienced such pleasure in one another's arms had it not been for the added element which my passion brought to it. By the time I had delivered two dozen slick strokes, my cock had swelled to enormous proportions.

I cannot be said to have thought about what I did next except in so far as I was determined to be counseled by the rules of fair play. My next “victim" the word, as it happens, hardly appliedwas to be the one who had momentarily gained the ascendancy, or, as each was now fighting to be the inferior to escape the switch, just the reverse. But, as their change of position was automatic in that it depended upon who was the recipient of the last stroke of the cane, I threw it away from me and waited a full two minutes before making my next move.

Not thirty seconds had gone by before the girls, realizing that the cane was no longer being wielded, readjusted themselves to the new situation and fought again like wildcats, each to be the male. This time, for one reason or another, it was my lover's accomplice who gained the ascendancy and her round buttocks, wealed now where she had received her cuts, was bobbing like a cork between my pretty darling's thighs. I hesitated a moment longer to see that the position was well established. Then, throwing myself on top of the girl, my fingers sought the bud between her buttocks and guided my cock to the point from where it could plunge inwards.

One more hesitation to balance myself and I thrust inwards with all my might. The pretty girl immediately tried to writhe away from between us, but her movement was forbidden by the encircling clamp of four arms. Meanwhile, my tool was sunk right up to the hilt in the grip of her anal ring. I plunged in and out, riding her as though she were a stallion. I pulled back and rammed forward again and again until my engorged shaft seemed virtually wedged in that tight canal. I felt my sperm rise as the girls continued to work on each other. By an amazing stroke of good fortune, all three of us reached our climax simultaneously.

“You were wonderful, dear!” my little lover said when it was all over, and her friend shared her opinion.

“You really enjoyed the cane then?” I asked seriously, for I wished to know for the future. I would not for the world have hurt either of these delicate creatures who had afforded me such pleasure.

“Of course, silly! Most Westerners just don't seem to realize that some of the highest pitches a woman attains are dependent upon an element of cruelty.”

“I've always thought,” her friend said in her Pidgin English, “that your Western women miss all real pleasure because they do not know the meaning of submission!”

We all laughed. During the night I made love to them both again, but separately this time. One I fucked in the normal fashion; the other let me shoot my sperm into her mouth. In the morning when her friend left, I insisted that she accept a little present of twenty pounds. We often repeated that kind of night, with a hundred other variations, but I fear there is no further time, nor perhaps need to go on with it. At last, with great reluctance, I was forced to leave Japan. When I did so, I gave my darling girl enough to make her independent. Taken all in all, she was one of the best endowed and most charming women I have ever met; to her friend, too, I was more than generous according to Japanese standards.

As I sailed out of the harbor, I indeed felt that I was leaving a part of myself buried eternally in that wonderful land.

A friend who has just read this volume tells me that one omission surprises him. “Why have you written nothing of the scenery and nothing about the great temples or works of art in India, China and Japan?” he asked. “I had thought you would have given us deathless impressions of them, but there is not one word! Why?”

“I am afraid Bernard Shaw's criticism of me is finally correct,” I said. “He wrote, you know, that if I were as good a critic of the second rate and third rate as I was of the first rate, I should be the greatest critic that ever lived. So it is with me about scenery and about great works of art. I remember the first time I saw the cathedral of Chartres: I stood before it for hours and cried like a child.”

It was one of the great moments of my life. The cathedrals at Amiens and at Beauvais impressed me, too, but Chartres had a sort of personal appeal, as if the maker was full of emotion in his own creation. The cathedral at Reims, too, made a great impression on me. I have seen them a hundred times since and always with the same admiration. But nothing in India, China or Japan gave me an emotion like this. Even Strasbourg or Cologne, or Mon Reale did not appeal to me in the same way.

I can only say that Chartres seemed to me like a hymn of joy in stoneand I must make another sad confession. I was next impressed by one or two of the great buildings in America. I think if you saw one of those buildings put in an open place, you would be enormously impressed by it, in spite of its utilitarian ugliness; there is something magnificently grandiose in it that moves the soul.

But you will say the scenery, at least in India, might have been described. It is true, I thought Cashmere as beautiful as Switzerland, and the Himalayan Mountains were wonderful again and again. But I have never described Switzerland, so why should I describe Cashmere?

It is only the strange or the ineffable that really appeals to me. I could talk about the Inland Lakes in Japan for hours. They are not only very beautiful in themselves, but always mixed up with little views of the charming, courteous, naughty people who have no morality but live beautifully.

What is the good of word-pictures of places? I always have the feeling it is impossible to give a scenery by words: One speaks of a hillside covered with golden gorse, or of a great cliff, or of snow peaks in the further distance, but to conjure up the beautiful scene is beyond the power of words.

I know nothing of natural beauty that was astonishing in China, and wish rather to forget what I did see than to remember. Japan is the only land in all the East that touched my heart, and its beauties, as I said, are always connected with the charming people.

But all that is probably my limitation. I am sure that if Ruskin had seen one tenth of what I have seen, he would have given wonderful pictures in words.

But I think more of one extraordinary person and find more wonders in one soul and heart like that of Meredith or Dowson than in a thousand scenes belauded in all the guide books. One phrase of Meredith, his laughter, the light in his eyes as he recited his own poetry gave me unforgettable emotions. Perhaps Dowson said it best:

I should be glad of loneliness,

And hours that go on broken wings,

A thirsty body, a tried heart,

And the unchanging ache of things,

If I could make a single song

As lovely and as full of light,

As hushed and brief as a falling star,

On a winter night.

Content

Frank Harris
My Life And Loves, vol 5

PREFACE (by Maurice Girodias)

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX