J.A. Konrath,

Blake Crouch,

Jack Kilborn,

Paul Wilson, F.

Jeff Strand,

DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror)

DRACULAS

a novel of terror by

Blake Crouch

Jack Kilborn

Jeff Strand

F. Paul Wilson

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction by J.A. Konrath

Dedication

Draculas — A Novel of Terror

Bonus Material

Interview with Crouch, Konrath, Strand and Wilson

“Cub Scout Gore Feast” by Konrath and Strand

“Serial” by Crouch and Kilborn

“A Sound of Blunder” by Konrath and Wilson

Draculas Deleted and Alternate Scenes

Excerpt of Crouch’s Desert Places

Excerpt of Strand’s Dweller

Excerpt of Wilson’s The Keep

Excerpt of Konrath’s Shaken

Biographies of Crouch, Konrath, Strand and Wilson

Bibliographies of Crouch, Konrath, Strand and Wilson

Exclusive Behind-the-Scenes Making of Draculas

Acknowledgments

Coming in 2011

INTRODUCTION

I grew up reading books where vampires were scary.

This novel is an attempt to make them scary again.

When I thought of the premise that became DRACULAS, I knew it needed to be a group project. Take four well-known horror authors, let them each create their own unique characters, and have them fight for their lives during a vampire outbreak at a secluded, rural hospital.

This is NOT a collection of short stories. It’s a single, complete novel.

And it’s going to freak you out.

If you’re easily disturbed, have a weak stomach, or are prone to nightmares, stop reading right now. There are no sexy teen heartthrobs herein.

You have been warned.

Joe Konrath

October, 2010

For Bram Stoker, with deepest apologies

DRACULAS

DRACULA’S SKULL UNEARTHED IN TRANSYLVANIA! A Romanian farmer discovered a skull with unusual properties while plowing his field near the town of Brasov. The relic, which appears to be ancient and human, has thirty-two elongated, razor-sharp teeth.

—NATIONAL TATTLER

VAMPIRE SKULL A HOAX? Discovered in Transylvania, the humanoid skull with sharp fangs is considered by many to be a fake. Fueling this speculation is the owner’s refusal to let scientists analyze the discovery, claiming it embodies an ancient curse.

—THE INQUISITOR STAR

MILLIONAIRE BUYS DRAC’S HEAD! Eccentric recluse Mortimer Moorecook of Durango, Colorado, has apparently purchased the so-called “Dracula skull” for an undisclosed sum, from the Transylvanian farmer who unearthed it a week ago. It isn’t known what Moorecook, who made his fortune on Wall Street during the late 80s, plans to do with the skull, though many are hoping it will be turned over to scientists for study. Moorecook, who was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, couldn’t be reached for comment.

—THE DRUDGE REPORT

Moorecook

MORTIMER Moorecook opened the massive oak door of his hilltop mansion just as the FedEx deliveryman was reaching for the doorbell.

“Hi, Mr. Moorecook, I have—”

“You have my package.”

“Yeah. Must be special. Only thing on my truck. Never been called out on a Sunday evening before.”

Mortimer looked at the cardboard box, covered in FRAGILE HANDLE WITH CARE stickers and some Romanian customs scrawl. His mouth went dry, and his already bowed knees threatened to stop supporting him.

Finally.

“Mr. Moorecook?”

The old man glanced up at the buff FedEx driver, thinking how he’d once been that young and vital. Never could’ve imagined how quickly and completely that sense of immortality deserts you. So much taken for granted.

“What?”

“Just need you to sign for it so I can keep my job.”

Taking the pen in his trembling grasp, Mortimer scribbled in the window of the electronic tracker. Then the box was in his hands. It barely weighed three pounds, but the magnitude of its contents made his arms shake.

“Shanna! It’s here! It’s here!”

Mortimer limped through the atrium as quickly as his thin, frail legs could manage, breathless by the time he reached the study. He set the box down on the coffee table in front of the hearth and eased back onto the leather couch just as his legs were about to give out.

His hospice nurse—a zaftig, forty-something woman named Jenny—rolled his IV bag into the study and plugged the line into his arm.

“Oh, stop it!” He swatted air in her general direction. “I ought to get a restraining order against you people. Everywhere I go, you’re always stalking me with that thing!”

But even as he spoke, he could feel the morphine-push flooding his system like a good, wet dream.

“Mr. Moorecook, you know what happens if we have any lapses between dosages.”

“Yeah, I might actually feel something.”

“Is writhing around on the ground in unimaginable pain the kind of feeling you want?”

Of course not, he thought. That’s the reason I…

“Mortimer!” Shanna appeared in the doorway of the study. “It’s really here?”

He nodded, eyes twinkling, then turning cold again as he glanced toward Jenny. “Leave us.”

Shanna walked past the nurse and came around the sofa. Mortimer could smell whatever body wash she’d used in the shower that morning as she sat down beside him, her brown curls bouncing off her shoulders like an honest-to-god shampoo commercial. She was thirty-five, had been single when she moved out to Durango at Mortimer’s request, but in the eight weeks she’d been here, she’d met a sheriff’s deputy and inexplicably fallen for him. It remained beyond Mortimer’s comprehension how this gorgeous biological anthropologist had seen anything in that redneck, who, as far as Mortimer could tell, was the epitome of what made the world throw-up in its mouth when it thought of Red State America.

Then again, he was old and dying, and maybe just a little bit jealous.

“Help me up, Shanna.”

With the morphine flowing, it felt like he floated over to his desk.

He opened the middle drawer, glancing out the big windows into the San Juan Mountains beyond a gaping canyon. The peaks were flushed with alpenglow, the snowfields pink as the sun dropped over southwest Colorado.

Lost in thought, Mortimer hitched up his tailored black pants—so loose now he had taken to wearing the gold-buckled belt left to him by his father—and ran his fingers over the Ouroboros insignia sewn into the breast of his red, silk robe. Then he reached into his desk drawer and took out the bottle he’d been waiting years to open, fighting a moment with the wrapper and cork. At last, he splashed a little of the rosewood-colored liquid into two tumblers.

“I’m not really much of a whiskey drinker,” Shanna protested.

“Humor me.”

Mortimer raised his glass, already catching whiffs of the fierce dried fruits and peat wafting toward him.

“To you, Shanna,” he said. “Thanks for spending these last few weeks with me. I haven’t been this happy since my Wall Street days, raiding companies. I ever tell you—”

“Many times.”

They clinked glasses and drank.

“That’s disgusting,” Shanna said, setting her glass down.

Mortimer shook his head.

“What?” she said.

“Nothing, it’s just that this is a fifty-five year Macallan. I paid $17,000 for that bottle many years ago, knowing I wouldn’t crack it until a night like this came along.”

“You paid too much,” she said.

“Some things are worth the price. Shall we?”

They returned to the couch, and Mortimer sat down and dug the Swiss Army knife out of the patch pocket of his linen shirt. It shook in his hands as he opened one of the smaller blades.

“Let me,” Shanna said, reaching for the knife.

He recoiled. “No!”

Mortimer inserted the blade and gently tugged it through the tape. He put the knife away and opened the box, pulling out wads of crumpled, foreign newsprint until he felt the smaller box within the larger. He lifted it out, set it on the glass.

It was some kind of black composite, sealed with a steel hasp on each side. He’d had the box specially made, then sent it to the farmer to ensure safe delivery of the item. Its key hung around his neck on a gold chain.

He unlocked the hasps and flipped them open, gingerly lifting off the top half of the box, bringing it onto his lap as Shanna leaned in. They could only see the back of the skull, the bone deep brown, heavily calcified, full of hairline fractures and several larger cracks, one square-inch piece missing entirely. He worked his fingers down into the hard black foam that had protected the skull on its journey across the ocean, and carefully lifted it out.

Shanna said, “Oh my God.”

Mortimer stared into the hollowed eye sockets, and then the teeth, which more resembled the dental architecture of a shark than a human being.

Not at all what he’d been expecting, and it didn’t match the artist’ conceptions in any of the scandal rags. This wasn’t a skull from an old Christopher Lee Hammer film. This was an affront against nature. Mortimer found it difficult to breathe. But he also registered something else, something he hadn’t felt since his diagnosis.

Excitement.

“May I?” Shanna asked.

Reluctantly, Mortimer handed Shanna the skull. He didn’t like it leaving his grasp, had to remind himself that this was what he’d been paying her so handsomely for.

Shanna examined one of the yellowed teeth.

“Coffee-drinker,” she quipped, and then her eyes narrowed and Mortimer watched as her inner-scientist took over. “They’re at least an inch and a half long, every one of them, even the molars. Huh, weird.”

“What?”

“These canines are hollowed.”

“What’s the significance?”

“I don’t know. It’s not dissimilar to venomous snakes.” She opened the mandible. “Look at the articulation. That range of motion is unbelievable. The jaw structure is…reptilian. There are literally too many teeth to fit in this mouth. See how they overlap? They would’ve shredded the lips off, most of the cheek, exploded the gums, ripped apart the ligaments in the mandible.”

“What are you saying? It’s fake?”

“It looks real. No doubt. But it’s just anatomically impossible.”

Mortimer leaned closer. “Is it human?”

“Does this look human to you?”

Shanna’s words hung in the air like a crooked painting.

“So…what is it?” Mortimer whispered.

“It’s certainly hominoid. But unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Nothing like this exists in the fossil record. This shouldn’t exist.”

“But it does exist. It must be real.”

“Look, we’ll have it tested. It’s possible the skull is authentic, but the teeth have to have been implanted.”

“Do you know what I paid for this?”

“No, what?”

“Just give it back.”

Shanna handed Mortimer the skull and stood up, smoothing out her slacks.

“Mort, I’m really excited for you. Really. And I can’t wait to get started studying this.”

Mortimer’s eyes went wide with surprise. “You’re…going? Now?”

“I want to stay. But I promised Clay. He wants to take me—wait for it—to the Tanner Gun Show in Denver. We’re supposed to hit the road tonight.”

“Jesus Christ. He must have elephantine genitalia.”

“Mortimer!” She gave him a playful bump on the shoulder.

“What? There’s no other explanation. I mean, really? Another gun show?”

“Maybe not.”

Something in her eyes…trouble in paradise? He hoped so.

He held up the skull, cradling it in both palms. “This is the reason you’re here, Shanna. This is what we’ve been waiting for.”

The mandible was still open. The old man grazed one of his liver-spotted fingers across the points of the teeth—razor sharp. He was sure he was only imagining it, but they seemed to send an electrical current through his body.

“Mort? You gonna be all right?”

He looked up at Shanna. Beautiful, youthful, Shanna.

To be young enough again to satisfy a woman like that.

Mortimer smiled. “I hope so.”

Then he pulled the skull into his neck, clamped shut the ancient jaw, and the last thing he felt before losing consciousness were those razor teeth sinking through the paper-thin flesh of his throat.

Shanna

JENNY, the hospice nurse, had acted quickly and professionally. Within two minutes, she had bandaged the wound and controlled the bleeding, but that was the least of Mort’s problems. Seconds after stabbing himself with those horrid fangs, he’d dropped to the floor in a violent seizure. Shanna had been ordered to stick something between his chattering teeth to prevent him from biting off his own tongue. She’d tried to use a ball point pen, but her benefactor had snapped it in half, blue ink mixing with the white foam that churned between his lips.

“Get something under his head,” Jenny told her, her voice up an octave. Shanna removed her jean jacket—a gift from Clayton—and balled it up for Mort to use as a pillow. Mortimer’s hand shot out, grabbing Shanna’s shirt. She yelped in surprise, pawing at his wrist, trying to free herself, but Mort had a grip like stone.

The warm, acrid smell of urine wafted up as he wet his pants, and the convulsions intensified, his limbs banging against the hardwood floor with enough force to split his skin.

When the seizure refused to abate after two minutes, the nurse scurried off to call an ambulance.

When it passed the five-minute mark, Jenny shot Mort full of sedatives and anticonvulsants. At ten minutes, Jenny was practically crying in despair, Shanna right there with her. They each had their full body weight on Mort, trying to pin his bloody hands and feet, but they could barely keep him down, Mort choking and gagging on his own blood, coughing out bits of his lips and tongue that he’d chewed off.

Twenty-three minutes later, when the ambulance finally arrived, the nurse and Shanna had to assist two burly paramedics to get Mort strapped to a gurney, where they finally jammed a rubber bit between his snapping jaws.

The ride to the hospital was a blur, Shanna physically and emotionally drained. She managed to call Clay, but got his voicemail and had to listen to his outgoing message of Clint Eastwood saying, “Go ahead…make my day. BEEEEP!”

She left a monotone message that Mort had had an accident. She was on her way to Blessed Crucifixion Hospital, and he’d have to pick her up there.

Then she wept.

Arriving in Durango two months ago, Shanna had thought she’d landed her dream job. Being paid—and extremely well—for pure research. While many of her contemporaries loved field work, Shanna got off on studying what others had found. She was an expert on the evolution of primates, and when the so-called “Dracula skull” had been discovered four months ago, she’d regarded it with the same blanket skepticism as the rest of her colleagues.

When Mortimer had hired her to research the Dracula skull, searching for its pedigree, she’d had no idea he’d actually bought the thing. For the past two months, Shanna had been poring over research materials, trying to make a case for a human skull with vampire teeth. Other primates had oversize canines, but within the Homo genus, from australopithecine to modern humans, evolution had reduced tooth size with every subsequent speciation. She’d followed various fossil trails, even the barest and flimsiest of leads, but kept coming back to that same conclusion.

Mort had taken her failures in stride, encouraging Shanna to follow historical and genealogical lines, even though that wasn’t her expertise. Between bouts of sitting with Mort and enduring his endless stories, she had managed to find a few more leads. The latest and most promising dated back to the Middle Ages—the Wallachian Order of the Dragon and its founder, Oswald von Wolkenstein. Supposedly, Oswald had a son with severe birth defects, which might have included dental deformities. There was scant historical evidence to support that rumor, but when combined with some other facts about the era…

Mort jerked against his restraints, making the cart rattle. The paramedics had pumped enough drugs into him to kill an elephant, but the convulsions hadn’t abated. Shanna wiped away another tear, wondering if she should have seen this coming.

How could he have done something so ghastly? Senile dementia? Reduced mental capacity because of the morphine? Or had the old man planned to bite himself all along?

The whine of the ambulance siren faded as the vehicle shuddered to a stop. An intern opened the rear doors and slid out the gurney with one of the paramedics. Jenny, Shanna, and the remaining paramedic stayed behind.

Jenny touched Shanna’s hand. “You okay?” she asked.

Shanna nodded, regarding the older, shapely nurse.

“I’ve been doing this for a decade,” Jenny said. “Never saw anything like that before. You did good.”

Shanna took little comfort in her words, but she managed a weak smile. “Did I have a choice?”

“You could’ve fallen apart.” Jenny looked around. “Deputy Dawg coming to pick you up?”

“His name is Clay.”

“No offense. That’s just what my ex used to call him. No love lost between those two, let me tell you.”

“I had no idea.”

“Before your time. Randall would drink too much in town, and I’d wind up bailing him out, seemed like every other week. Think Clay’ll give me a lift back to Mort’s? I need my car.”

“I’m sure he will.”

And then what? Shanna wondered. She’d been planning to break it off with Clay tonight. He was a good guy and they connected—really connected—on a visceral level. But once the heady rush of novelty waned, reality had set in. The more time they spent outside the bedroom, the more she realized how little they had in common.

But she felt so drained right now. She didn’t know if she had the energy to tell him. Or was she just making an excuse?

Maybe. Because Clayton Theel was one of the good guys, and she knew he genuinely cared for her. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. But their heads were in such different places. The gun thing, for instance. Guns frightened the hell out of her. But Clay loved them—lived for them. If he wasn’t shooting one, he was modifying one or inventing one. She could not take another gun show, and she might claw her own eyes out if she had to watch Dirty Harry or Unforgiven again.

“Son of a bitch.”

Both women turned to the paramedic, who was squinting at his finger.

“What’s wrong?” Jenny asked.

“I think the old bastard bit me.”

Jenny

JENNY Bolton entered the ER through the automatic doors four steps behind the paramedics pushing Mortimer’s gurney. Though Jenny knew she was tough, she hadn’t yet steeled herself to Mortimer’s eventual demise. Being a hospice nurse meant losing patients—it was how the story ended every time. Much as she tried not to get attached—and then have to deal with the inevitable depression when they passed—Jenny wound up admiring, and even liking, most of the terminal people she cared for.

Seeing Mort so near death, weeks before his diagnosed time, brought a lump to her throat. This lump was made even bigger by her uncomfortable surroundings.

Once upon a time, Jenny had worked in this facility, in this emergency room. She’d loved the job, and since Blessed Crucifixion was the only hospital within sixty miles, it had been her sole option for being a fulltime caregiver.

But last year she’d gotten into a disagreement with one of the holier-than-thou physicians on staff, and his lies and bullshit had led to her dismissal.

God, she hoped that prick Dr. Lanz wasn’t working tonight.

“Dr. Lanz! Code blue!” the intercom blared.

Shit.

Jenny kept her head down as the six-foot, broad-shouldered Kurt Lanz, M.D. paraded past, looking every bit as self-important as the day he’d gotten her fired. She knew he would have her escorted out of the hospital if he spotted her.

While Lanz barked orders at his cringing staff, Jenny slunk over to a nearby house phone.

She reached for the handset, then paused.

Should I call him?

Her ex-husband, Randall, had left no fewer than thirty-eight messages on her cell phone since being admitted two days ago for a job-related injury. Her brain-deficient, former significant other—a lumberjack—had somehow managed to cut the back of his own leg with a chainsaw. She wondered if he’d been drinking on the job. He’d fallen into drinking far too much off the job. Drunk on the job seemed the natural next step. He’d sworn time and again that he was off the sauce, but he’d made many such promises during their marriage, only to relapse.

Aside from the occasional glimpse of his bright red Dodge Ram Hemi driving through town, she hadn’t seen Randall since their divorce was made final two years ago. Jenny hadn’t been responding to his messages, even though they were increasing in frequency and urgency. But now, stuck in the hospital with Randall only two floors above, she might as well bite the bullet.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the automatic doors opened and a clown entered the ER. At first, Jenny assumed it was a candy striper come to entertain the ill. But then she saw he had a child attached—by the mouth—to his left hand. The girl was screaming through clenched teeth, blood dribbling down her chin.

A distressed woman followed the clown and the child, patting the girl’s back, and when she locked eyes on Jenny she said, “There’s a nurse!”

Jenny glanced down at her white uniform. She was about to correct the woman’s assumption with an, “I don’t work here,” but noticed the entire ER staff had surrounded Mortimer, who was coding.

“You have to help my daughter,” the mother demanded.

Jenny looked at the little girl, whose teeth were embedded in the skin of the clown’s left hand.

“Oasis’s braces are stuck,” the woman said.

“Oasis?”

“Oasis. My precious little girl. This horrible clown ruined her eighth birthday party, and now he’s going to ruin five thousand dollars’ worth of orthodontia.”

Jenny appraised the clown. A very sad clown, despite his painted-on red smile and matching rubber nose. He stood six feet tall, six-six with the green fright wig. His green and red polka dot clown suit bulged at the middle—a pot belly, not a pillow—and his size twenty-eight shoes squeaked like a chew toy when he walked. A large, metal button, opposite the fake flower on his lapel, read “Benny the Clown Says ‘Let’s Have Fun!’ “

In a low, shaky voice barely above a whisper, Benny the Clown said, “Please help me.”

Jenny fought to conceal her smirk. “What happened?”

“This terrible clown squirted my little girl and she defended herself. Now she’s stuck on his filthy clown hand.”

The little girl said something that came out like, “Mmmmhhhggggggggg.”

“I was making the birthday princess a balloon poodle,” Benny the Clown said, “and she reached up and squeezed my nose. That activated the flower.” Benny the Clown pressed his rubber proboscis and turned his head. A stream of water shot out of the center of the flower, sprinkling onto the tiled floor. “When the birthday princess got squirted, she locked her precious little birthday chompers onto my hand.” Benny the Clown leaned closer to Jenny. “You can’t tell because I have a smile on my face, but I can feel the wire digging into my bone.”

Jenny nodded, trying to appear sympathetic. “I wish I could help, but I don’t work at this hospital. I’m just here with one of my hospice patients.” She pointed toward the gurney where doctors and nurses swarmed around Mortimer. “You’ll have to check in at the front desk.”

Even with the painted-on grin, Benny the Clown looked suicidal.

Jenny hated to turn away any patient in need, but she could be sued for administering care in a facility she’d been fired from. She watched them trudge off, then turned her attention back to the phone.

Just do it. Get it over with.

Jenny picked up the receiver and dialed Room 318. She knew it was 318, because every one of the thirty-eight messages she’d received from Randall had begun with, “Hi, Jen, it’s Randall, I’m in Room Three-One-Eight.”

Before the first ring ended, Randall was on the line. “Jen, is that you?”

The last thing she expected—or wanted—to feel was comfort at the sound of his voice, especially with all the chaos going on around her. But it was so familiar, like they’d just spoken yesterday. The comfort died in a surge of anger at the memory of all the heartache his drinking had put her through.

“Hello, Randall. How are—?”

“You coming to visit?” Randall interrupted. “I’m in room Three-One-Eight.”

Jenny sighed. She watched Dr. Lanz charge the defib paddles. “Yeah, I know. You said it on every message you left for me.”

“You listened to them? All of them?”

“All thirty-eight, Randall.”

“Thirty-eight? It couldn’t have been anywhere near that many. But I wasn’t sure you were getting them. You been having a problem with your phone?”

Yeah, you keep calling me. “I’ve just been busy. So how are you doing?”

“Dry ninety-seven days now. I don’t even want to drink anymore, I swear. I’m a changed man, Jenny.”

So he’d said in all thirty-eight messages. She was impressed if it was true, but he’d done a lot of lying in his drinking days. And even if it were true—too little, too late.

“I meant your injury, Randall.”

“Oh.” His voice suddenly lost the excited, almost child-like tone. “I got seventy-seven stitches. Everyone thinks it’s real ironical that I cut the back of my leg.”

“You mean ironic, Randall,” Jenny corrected. She’d been the one to teach him the meaning of the word, but he had yet to get the pronunciation right.

Winslow—a wisp of a woman who became head nurse when Jenny was fired—squirted conductive gel onto Mortimer’s bare, hairless chest. Jenny’s patient was convulsing—v-fib or v-tach. Even from across the room, she could see that Mort’s eyes had rolled up into his skull, the whites protruding like two eggs. Flecks of foam and blood still sprayed from her patient’s mouth, dotting Dr. Lanz’s face and his pristine, white lab coat. Lanz’s expression twisted in disgust as he wiped his sleeve across his lips, and the fastidious, meticulous doctor actually spat over his shoulder.

Should have put on your face mask, Dr. Jack Ass.

Jenny spotted Shanna, looking a little green, scurrying through the doors into the main hospital. Everyone in the ER looked on as Lanz applied the paddles, even Benny the Clown, Oasis, and her mother.

“Jenny? You there? Hello?”

Jenny only turned her eyes away for a second, trying to gather herself, not ready to see Mortimer die. Rude and self-important as he was, she’d found things about the old man to admire, and even like. She also wondered when she would work again. This was a small town, and hospice nurses weren’t in constant demand.

Full of shame at the selfish thought, she forced herself to look back, to say a final, silent goodbye.

She was shocked to see Mortimer—standing—on top of the gurney, restraints broken off and dangling from his ankles and wrists, his mouth wide and—

Is he hissing?

The sound came from deep in Mortimer’s throat, less like a threatened cat, more like a tea kettle coming to boil. It kept rising in pitch until it became a shrill whistle, the noise unlike anything Jenny had ever heard.

It was inhuman.

“Jenny? What’s wrong?” Randall said.

“Oh my God.”

“What? What, Jen?”

Mortimer’s teeth. Something was happening to them. They were falling out—no—he was spitting them out, spitting them at Lanz and the nurses who were frantically trying to coax him off the gurney.

“Randall, I have to go. There’s something happening in the ER.”

“You’re here in the—?”

She hung up the phone and started toward Mortimer. No doubt Randall would be trying to call her back on her cell, but she had the ringer turned off—the hospital took its no cell phone rule seriously.

Mortimer abruptly stopped hissing, and Jenny could hear Dr. Lanz ordering him down off the gurney.

Stiff as a plank, Mortimer fell face-first onto the floor.

Jenny rushed to him. She didn’t care anymore about hospital protocol, or Lanz having her thrown out. Mortimer needs me. Jenny had never seen anything like this in twenty-five years of health care.

She pushed her way through the nurses surrounding Mortimer and knelt at his prone body.

“Jenny Bolton? What the hell are you doing in my hospital?” Dr. Lanz demanded.

“This is my hospice patient,” she said, touching Mortimer’s neck and seeking out the pulse of his carotid. To her surprise, she didn’t have to press hard. His entire neck was vibrating, his artery jolting beneath her fingers like a heavy metal drum solo. The only thing she could compare this to was a crystal meth OD, the heartbeat raging out of control.

Jenny patted the old man’s back, checking to see if he was conscious.

“Mortimer, can you hear me? It’s Jenny. I’m right here. We’re gonna help—”

“I’m going to help him. Somebody get security.”

She felt Dr. Lanz’s hands grip her shoulders, dragging her away from Mortimer just as her patient grabbed her hip.

Jenny felt instant pain, and not only from the pressure of Mortimer’s grip. Something sharp was digging into her skin through her uniform.

That can’t be Mortimer’s hand.

It was more like a claw. A bloody, ragged claw. Jenny stared, mouth agape. Mortimer’s finger bones—the phalanges—were extending out through his fingertips, splitting the skin and coming to five sharp points.

The old man hissed again, a high-pitched keen, and when he turned his head to look at Jenny, calm, stoic Nurse Winslow shouted, “Sweet Jesus Christ!”

Mortimer’s cheeks exploded like a grenade had gone off inside his mouth, white points bursting through his lips, shearing flesh, digging rents into his face.

Oh my God. Fangs.

He’s growing fangs.

His new teeth began to elongate—an inch, two inches, bursting through his bleeding gums in rows that ended in wicked, dagger-like tips. They shredded Mortimer’s face into jagged strips, and he began to snap his jaws, chewing through the inside of his mouth, grinding off his cheeks all the way back to his earlobes, making room for his monstrous new dentata.

Then Mortimer’s lower jaw unhinged, thrusting forward and hanging open like some perversion of an angler fish. He stared at Jenny, his eyes wide, pupils dilating beyond anything human, spreading until they eclipsed the whites.

For the first time in her life, Jenny screamed a scream of abject, primordial terror.

She jerked back, trying to pull away from Mortimer’s grip, but his sharp, bony fingers had embedded themselves into the meat of her hip. She watched her skin stretch through the holes in her clothing—stretch, but not tear—and realized that the bones protruding from Mortimer’s finger tips were barbed like fish hooks.

Then he jerked his hand back, taking Jenny with it, knocking her onto her butt, her face inches from his snapping jaws.

Mortimer rolled on top of her, like a lover, blood and saliva dripping onto Jenny’s face and neck. She reached up to push him away, but as terror-stricken as she was, Jenny couldn’t bring herself to touch him. It was like willingly sticking your hand into a box of angry rattlesnakes. Even as his jaws drew near, Jenny’s revulsion wouldn’t allow her to fight back. She stretched out her hand—her face imploring—to Dr. Lanz, who stood within reach. But he shrank away from her beckoning fingers, retreating into the safety of the nurse’s station.

This is it, Jenny thought. I’m going to die.

“Get the fuck away from my wife!”

Jenny turned, watching her bear of an ex-husband limping toward her, his hospital gown flapping from the speed of his approach.

He raised something large and red over his head.

“Smile, motherfucker!”

Mortimer’s misshapen head jerked up as Randall swung the fire extinguisher, connecting with the jagged nest of teeth. A clang resonated over the screams of the onlookers, and Mortimer flew back, his terrible claw disengaging from Jenny’s hip, several of his fangs breaking free and tinkling like icicles on the tile.

Jenny found herself being dragged across the floor, Randall’s hard, calloused hands under her armpits, pulling her to the water cooler.

“You okay, babe?”

She started to respond, but then saw Mortimer, or whatever he had become, rising to his feet. His head swiveled on his shoulders one hundred eighty degrees, taking a quick, predatory scan of the emergency room.

His eyes locked onto Oasis and Benny the Clown as they retreated through the opening automatic doors.

Mortimer crouched, then leapt after them, soaring three meters into the breezeway.

As the doors slid closed, Jenny heard the most God-awful screaming and Benny the Clown shouting, “No! I’m getting bitten! Again!”

His shoes were frantically squeaking and blood sprayed the automatic glass doors, which opened and closed over and over.

As Mortimer feasted on Benny the Clown’s neck, little Oasis desperately pulled on Benny the Clown’s arm, trying to disengage her braces, shaking her head like a rabid dog while her mother tugged on her waist. Suddenly the child broke free, falling backward onto her screaming parent.

Mortimer’s eyes zeroed in on the movement, and his head jerked up, blood draining out of his mouth and down the front of his shirt like a sieve.

He dropped Benny the Clown and hissed.

Oasis’s mother was trembling. “Please,” she begged. “It’s her birthday.”

Mortimer attacked Oasis, savagely biting her arm, and tossing her back into the ER.

Then he burrowed his ravenous jaws into her mother’s stomach, tearing into intestines, pulling out her glistening liver and snacking on it like a slice of watermelon.

Randall stood in front of Jenny. “What is that goddamn thing? A fucking dracula?”

Mortimer abandoned Oasis’s mother and moved back into the ER, lured by two large men in softball uniforms, one with a black eye—probably a casualty of playing the game while drinking beer. They’d been screaming at Mortimer to leave the woman alone, and now the monster had obliged them. Apparently realizing their mistake, they turned and ran through the ER, pushing through a pair of double doors and disappearing into the bowels of the hospital.

Mortimer pursued, bounding after them on all fours, his body stretching out like a cheetah.

Then the ER stood silent except for the groans of the dying and the injured.

Jenny turned to ask Randall something, but he was already moving away from her, limping toward the automatic doors.

She grabbed his arm. “No, Randall,” she pleaded. “Please. Stay with me.”

“I’m just going out to my truck,” he said.

“Why?”

“I need my chainsaw.”

He pulled his arm free, starting toward the doors again.

“For what?” Jenny called after him.

“I’m gonna cut that son of a bitch in half.”

Lanz

KURT Lanz, MD, rose from where he’d crouched behind the nurse’s station.

What…what had just happened?

He surveyed the carnage of the ER—his ER—trying to comprehend what he’d witnessed, but his mind kept balking. All he saw was the blood. God, you so quickly got used to blood in an ER, but this…the sheer quantity. It had sprayed everywhere, Pollacking the walls and soaking the privacy curtains and sluicing down to join the pools—pools—on the floor.

And that thing…it had come in as Mortimer Moorecook in cardiac arrest, as good as dead until he’d applied the paddles. No, not as good as dead—way dead. But he couldn’t bill for a resuscitation without at least one defib jolt, so he’d hit him with 300 joules and the guy had come off the table like some wild—

The screams reached him then, and a woman’s voice, close by, shouting, “Kurt! Kurt!”

He looked and saw skinny little Janine Winslow at his shoulder, nurse’s uniform splattered with red, eyes bulging, skin chalky, chattering away at ninety miles an hour.

“That’s Doctor Lanz, Winslow.”

Hell, he didn’t even think of himself as “Kurt.” He wasn’t about to let this mosquito of a woman do it, even if she had given him head a couple of times when he first arrived. Proper respect was integral to proper functioning.

Not that you could expect proper anything at Blessed fucking Crucifixion Hospital. How the hell had he wound up here?

Oh, right.

Money.

Nobody with decent chops wanted to practice out here in the middle of nowhere. So hick hospitals like Blessed Crucifixion put a lot on the table—nearly twice what big metro hospitals offered. Lanz had owed six figures worth of education loans coming out of training. This was an offer he couldn’t refuse.

He knew what the hospital was thinking: Get the sucker out here, seduce him with our country charm, let him put down a few roots, and he’s ours for life.

No fucking way. He’d suffer in silence and sock away for a few years, then get the hell out of debt and the fuck out of town. To tell the God’s honest truth, Blessed Crucifixion was lucky to have him. He was way over-trained for a hick community ER. Like hiring Picasso to teach a ladies’ auxiliary art class.

Winslow kept going. “Oh my god! Oh, my god! What do we do? This is awful! I’ve never seen—”

He grabbed her bony shoulder and shook her. “You shut up and get a grip, that’s what you do!”

That seemed to break through and she quieted. Good. Now…time for him to get a grip. He looked around again, focusing.

The good news was that the thing that had been Moorecook was gone; the bad news was that it had escaped into the hospital instead of the parking lot. But at least it was out of here.

An inpatient—a big guy in a hospital gown—was limping out the exit. Smart fellow. If Moorecook came back, Lanz would be right on his heels.

The little girl was kneeling on the floor by her mother and screaming. With good reason: Not only had her left arm sustained a deep gash, but her mom lay flat on her back with her intestines spread over her torn abdomen like a wormy apron. She stared blindly at the ceiling as one leg gave a weak kick or two.

The clown lay unmoving in a huge pool of red.

The EMT who’d brought in Moorecook stood behind Winslow. A new LPN and two orderlies—Ralph and Benjamin—stood behind him. All awaiting instructions. That insubordinate bitch-nurse Jenny Bolton stood back, looking horrified. He’d deal with her later.

Okay. This was his ship and he was captain. He pointed to the orderlies, then to the mom and the clown.

“Get gurneys ready to move those two to the morgue.”

“But they ain’t been pronounced,” one said. Ralph? Benjamin? He never could tell them apart.

“They will be in a minute.” To the LPN: “Get the little girl’s wound cleaned up and ready for suturing.” To the EMT: “Help her.”

“Hey, I don’t work here.”

“Then get lost.”

The EMT held up a finger, showing a puncture that had already stopped bleeding. “But the old guy bit me. I need a tetanus. And penicillin. And hepatitis. And rabies. Did you see that goddamn guy? Fucking give me every shot you got!”

“You’ve got a forty-eight-hour window to get boosters. Make yourself useful or get lost.” He turned to Winslow. “Call security and get everyone down here, then call the sheriff. I need to speak to him.”

He wanted armed guards here in case Moorecook returned. He’d have them kick Jenny Bolton out too.

He stalked over to the clown. Glazing eyes stared out of his white-face makeup. His throat was a gaping, red ruin. His costume was soaked but Lanz could still read Benny the Clown Says “Let’s Have Fun!” on the big button.

Not a lot of fun going on here.

He closed Benny’s eyes and motioned to the orderly. “To the cooler.”

He heard the little girl start to scream and saw the EMT and the LPN dragging her to the treatment room. Her kicks and screams grew more frantic the farther she was moved away from her mother.

Sorry, kid, but that wound needs closing.

He looked down at the mother: as dead as Benny.

He still wore the latex gloves he’d donned at the start of Moorecook’s code blue. Ignoring the fecal smell from the torn intestines, he parted the loops. The abdominal cavity was filled with blood.

“Good lord,” said a woman’s voice. “Did he get the aorta? How could he bite that deep?”

He looked up at Jenny Bolton. “What the hell are you still doing here?”

“My patient is still here.”

“Your patient is a goddamn monster.”

“What happened to him?”

“You tell me.”

“I have no idea.”

“Then you’re of no use to me. You’re a GOOMER.”

Even though the acronym referred to annoying, unwanted patients—Get Out Of My Emergency Room—he figured she’d catch his meaning.

“I’m waiting for my husband—ex-husband.”

“Then wait outside. I—”

The doors flew back and Lanz almost screamed, fearing Moorecook’s return. But he managed to bite it back when he saw the two fat softball players stagger into the ER. Both were blood soaked. The bearded one was limping as he half-carried the younger blond guy.

“Oh, God!” Jenny said.

Then Lanz saw why: The blond guy’s left arm was missing at the elbow. He was squeezing the stump, trying to stanch the hemorrhage.

“He bit his arm off, doc!” the bearded one said. “That animal bit his fucking arm off! And he bit me in the ass!”

As the pair struggled past, Lanz saw that the man’s ample right buttock was missing a sizable chunk—mostly fat, but a little of the gluteus was exposed.

Lanz looked around to find Bolton staring at him. “Still want me to wait outside?”

He was about to tell her exactly what she could do when Winslow called from the nurse’s station.

“Doctor Lanz! Sheriff’s on the phone!”

Shit!

If he turned down an offer of skilled help, fired employee or not, and anyone died, some lawyer would have his ass.

Lanz pointed to the ball players. “Take care of that arm.”

He stripped off his bloody gloves and took the phone from Winslow.

“Sheriff, we’ve got one hell of a problem here.”

“Well, doc, I’ve got one hell of a problem myself. Let’s compare. You first.”

Bet you mine is bigger than yours? Was that how they were going to play this? Fine. He’d lay it on with a trowel. Christ, he hated these hicks.

“We’ve suffered what can only be described as a terrorist attack. I’ve got two dead and three wounded, one of whom has lost an arm. The terrorist is still loose in the hospital wreaking God knows what kind of havoc. I need a SWAT team here.”

The sheriff put on an aw-shucks tone. “Now, doc, I’m sure it ain’t that bad, and you know we ain’t got no SWAT team—”

“Then call in the fucking National Guard! This is no joke!”

“Well, even if I did call in the Guard, no way they could get to you. One of Joe Loveland’s cows wandered onto the tracks and got hit by the four-seventeen freight.”

“Who cares whose cow it was! It’s a fucking cow! I’ve got dead and wounded people here, and maybe more on the way!”

“Now hold on. You’re not letting me finish. The collision occurred in such a matter of fashion that the train jumped the tracks and came to a stop flat on its side across the highway.”

The collision occurred in such a matter of fashion…who talked like that?

“Sheriff—”

“Thank the Lord, nobody got hurt, it being a freight train and all, but let me tell you, we’ve got one hell of a mess out here.”

“Just send me some deputies, goddamn it!”

“Well, that’s just it. Dave Howard’s off on vacation to Navajo Lake and Clay Theel’s got the weekend off and he’s on his way to a gun show in Denver. You got security there at BC. I know those boys. They’re good. Turn ’em loose and they’ll keep the lid on till we can get somebody over. Gotta go.”

“But—”

The line clicked dead.

You got security there…was he kidding? Blessed Crucifixion security was some good old boys who got off on wearing uniforms and carrying guns. They might, just might, have the cojones to eject Jenny Bolton, but they weren’t going to handle the Moorecook thing.

Okay…stabilize these people, get them admitted, then get the hell out of here. First, the softballers.

He turned to Winslow. “What orthopedist and general surgeon are on tap?”

She checked the call list. “Manetti and Schwartz.”

“Get them. Tell Manetti we’ve got a traumatic amputation for him and a major avulsion laceration for Schwartz.”

He walked over to the softballers. Jenny had stabilized the amputee. Bleeding had stopped but the guy was as white as his uniform used to be and looking shocky.

“Want me to start an IV?” she said, nodding to the amputee as she cleaned the butt wound on the other softballer, prone on a gurney.

He wanted her out of here but needed the help.

“D-five in NS. Open it up. Type and cross-match him.” He was going to need a transfusion. “I’ll be sewing up the kid.” He jabbed a finger at her. “Don’t do one goddamn thing without checking with me first. Understood?”

“Loud and clear,” she said with a defiant look. Then it crumbled. “What if Mortimer comes back?”

His worst fear, but he hid it. “We’ll handle it.”

“Oh, like before? Hiding behind the nurse’s station?”

He was about to tear her a new one when three rapid gunshots sounded from somewhere in the hospital. A pause, then two more.

“Oh, God,” Jenny whispered.

And then the doors burst open and two burly security guards backed in, each dragging two bloody bodies.

“What the fuck is going on?” one of the guards screamed, wide eyes showing white all around. “There’s some kind of creature going crazy in the lobby. We walked in and it was behind the snack bar. It ripped Ernie’s head off!”

Sure enough, one of the corpses had been decapitated.

The other guard said, “I shot that fucker five times—I know I had at least three killshots—but they hardly even slowed him!”

Lanz felt his knees go rubbery. He tried to speak but words wouldn’t come.

“We’ve got to evacuate.” Jenny said.

He glared at her as he found his tongue. “Evacuate where? We’re in the American equivalent of Outer Mon-fucking-golia. Plus the highway’s blocked. What do I do? March or carry a hundred and fifty patients out into the woods?”

That shut her up—almost.

“Okay, then. If the patients can’t leave, neither am I. When my ex comes back, we’re going up to pediatrics and make sure nothing happens to those kids.”

“Like hell you—”

And then he saw one of the guards start back into the hospital.

“Where are you going?”

“To get Ernie’s head. I ain’t leaving his head out there!”

Lanz wanted to scream not to leave him and that Ernie didn’t care about the location of his goddamn head at this point, but bit it back. He was the captain of this ship and he had to hold it together, despite the fact that this corner of the world had gone insane.

Shanna

SHANNA turned away as she saw the prissy doctor poised over Mortimer’s exposed chest, smearing a clear gel on the defibrillator paddles. She’d spent the last two months studying some of history’s worst atrocities. In fact she’d often perused accounts of mass impalings while eating lunch—no problem.

But this? Uh-uh.

She headed into the hospital proper. She’d been here once before, when they’d thought Mortimer had OD’d, and remembered a snack bar in the lobby. A cup of coffee would hit the spot, especially after that Scotch. She wasn’t used to hard liquor.

The short middle-age man with “Ernie” embroidered into his shirt hung by the coffee kiosk at the end of the snack bar.

“Latté?” he said as she approached.

“Just a regular coffee, please. Black.”

She glanced around the nearly deserted lobby. By this time the day’s surgeries were done, the second shift was ensconced, the doctors had left for their offices, the kitchen was readying to serve dinner, the day visitors were gone and the night visitors weren’t home from work yet.

Quiet. Like a morgue.

She grimaced. Probably not the best analogy for a hospital.

She paid Ernie for the coffee and pulled out her cell. She had to call Clay to make sure he’d received the message that she and Jenny needed a ride back to Mortimer’s for their cars.

And then what?

Clay was expecting her to spend the weekend with him in Denver. She didn’t see how she could do that without losing her mind. Another gun show. When not at the show, however…her pelvis tingled with warmth that coursed up through her abdomen and settled in her nipples. The non-show activities would almost be worth it.

Almost.

The sex…she’d miss the sex. They were so good in bed. But the parade of gun shows and all the machismo…she’d had her fill. She had to call a halt.

She checked her phone’s display: no bars. Then she saw the sign: No Cell Phones!

Did they really need that exclamation point?

She glanced back along the lengthy hallway to the ER, then toward the lobby entrance. That looked closer. She pushed through the heavy glass doors to the outside, found a bench, and sat. She tried a sip of her coffee and winced as bitterness stabbed her tongue. Yuck. When had this been made? This morning?

She’d have to have a word with Ernie. But right now…

She stared at the cell display. Still no bars. But tucked in the corner of the room was a pay phone.

So call.

And say what? How could she tell that big cuddly guy that it wasn’t working? That she needed more than the best sex she’d ever had in her life. She needed a life of the mind as well. He was extremely bright, but his focus was so narrow. Guns and action films and his job—he loved being a deputy sheriff, so much that a lot of other stuff in his life was pushed to the side.

She knew what would happen when she told him. He’d promise to change. Spend less time at work. Take her ballroom dancing.

At least she assumed that would happen. This was all new to her. What if he just said, “Okay. See you around.”

She almost wished he would. It would shake her to know she’d been that wrong about him, but at least she wouldn’t be hurting his feelings.

God, I’m such a coward.

Do it, Shanna.

She found some change in the bottom of her purse and plunked it into the payphone. Four rings and then his voicemail came on. Oh, no. She gritted her teeth and listened once again as Clint Eastwood said, “Go ahead…make my day. BEEEEP!”

She definitely had to break this off.

“Clay, it’s Shanna. Don’t know if you got my last message but Jenny Bolton and I had to rush Mortimer to the hospital. Our cars are still at his place. Could you swing by the hospital and give us a lift back?” She bit her lip. “And Clay…about this weekend…” No. She couldn’t. She owed him a face-to-face explanation. “Talk to you later.”

She hung up the receiver and thought about that. Face-to-face. How could she look into Clay’s warm brown eyes and tell him it was over?

A woman came out of the lobby and lit up a cigarette. The smoke drifted Shanna’s way. She thought about asking her to move downwind but decided to move herself instead. Shanna dumped her coffee and returned to the lobby. Ernie smiled at her as she passed. She wanted to tell him to brew some fresh coffee but decided against it. She wasn’t looking for conversation. She needed a quiet place to think, to rehearse what she was going to say to Clay.

She checked the time. She’d give the ER staff another ten minutes to deal with Mortimer, then she’d return. Poor guy. Such a kind man. He’d been so good to her. Why on Earth had he jabbed himself with those fangs?

As she passed the elevator she saw a plaque: CHAPEL 2ND FLOOR.

Not a bad idea. She wasn’t religious, but it would be quiet and no one would be smoking.

She hit the UP button and a pair of doors slid open immediately. She rode one stop and was stepping out onto the second floor when three sharp reports echoed faintly through the elevator shaft from somewhere in the hospital. She froze. They seemed to come from below. They almost sounded like…

No…couldn’t be.

The elevator doors pincered against her and retreated. Puzzled and curious, she stepped back into the cab and punched the LOBBY button. On the way down she heard two more reports, much closer now, and immediately wished she’d stayed on the second floor. Because she knew that sound—knew it all too well from all the shows she’d been to where dealers and collectors demonstrated their wares.

Gunshots.

Somebody was shooting up the lobby.

Her heart began to thud as she hammered her palm against the button bank, pushing them all, any floor, she didn’t care, just not the lobby. Wasn’t there a way to stop these things? No sooner had the thought cleared than she saw the red STOP button. But as she reached for it the doors slid open.

Ernie looked up at her from the floor just outside the doors.

No, not Ernie. Just his head.

She screamed and began banging on the floor buttons again. She caught a flash of movement beyond Ernie’s head. Someone racing for the elevator.

No—something. It was shaped like a man and dressed like a man, though its shirt was in tatters. But there the resemblance stopped. Splattered head to toe with blood and its face…a horror of bloody jutting fangs and black eyes.

And it was charging her!

Shanna screamed again. As the elevator doors began to slide toward each other, she pressed her palms against them and tried to speed their progress. Through the narrowing opening she saw the fanged monster with its arms extended, its taloned hands scoring the air as it raced toward her.

The doors…just a few more inches…an inch…

Steel met steel just as a heavy weight slammed against the other side. The cab began to rise.

Shanna sobbed with relief and slumped to the floor.

That thing…its wild, insane teeth resembled the skull Mortimer received earlier…the teeth that had pierced Mortimer’s throat.

And despite all the blood, Shanna had recognized the gold belt buckle on its pants.

She sobbed again, this time in disbelief.

“Mortimer?”

Lanz

“HER name’s Oasis,” the new LPN said from the head of the gurney.

Her nametag read Rodriguez and she was all dark eyes and mocha skin and black hair. Not bad looking if you went for the Hispanic thing. Lanz preferred blondes.

He shook his head. Oasis…was that who her mother was listening to when she conceived her? He brushed the question away and tried to focus on the girl’s arm.

Not an easy thing. But at least the ER was secured. The guard had returned Ernie’s head to his body, Winslow was escorting the orderlies and the four new corpses down to the cooler, and two gun-toting uniforms were ready for trouble.

Okay. Now to Oasis. The kid was sedated with a little diazepam but strapped down anyway. She had five tears in her forearm where she’d been bitten. The EMT stood by to help restrain her if she started struggling.

Lanz held out his hand. “Lido.”

Rodriguez placed a syringe of local anesthetic on his palm. He was about to begin injecting when the EMT backed away.

“Ooh, man.”

Lanz glanced up at him. He wore a strange look.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of needles.”

“No, man.” His voice was slurred. “I stick ’em in people alla time. I just feel like shit alla sudden.”

He rubbed a hand across his face and Lanz noticed that one of his fingers was red and swollen to twice its size. Hadn’t he said he’d been bitten by Moorecook? Cellulitis already?

“Sit down before you fall down.”

Christ, was the EMT going to wind up a patient too? What else could go wrong?

He turned back to the kid. She began squirming as he injected the local—burned like hell for a few seconds going in, then the area went numb. He heard a hiss off to his right and glanced over to where the EMT slumped in a chair with his head lolling back. His mouth hung open and he was breathing funny.

Lanz had heard that sound before…just a little while ago—

Suddenly the EMT choked and bent forward. He hacked and spit. Not mucous.

Teeth.

He looked up at Lanz, his eyes tortured…and red. “Doc, I feel like sh—aaagh”

A claw exploded from his infected fingertip, and then his other fingers followed.

Just like with Moorecook.

And then huge fangs extruded from his jaws, ripping through his cheeks and lips.

Just like Moorecook.

Oh, Christ, was it contagious?

Another hiss, closer. He looked down at the girl. Her red-rimmed ebony eyes were wide open, and she was spitting teeth, but rows at a time, the braces linking them like bloody little fence posts.

Lanz backed away. Both bitten, both changing. It was contagious.

Oasis ripped her clawed hands free of the restraints as fangs ripped through her face. The EMT was up now, approaching the gurney as Oasis sat up. Both had their eyes fixed on Lanz and Rodriguez. The LPN was backing away too. She bumped into Lanz. Instinctively he grabbed her and shoved her toward the gurney. She screamed horribly when the claws pulled her forward and fangs tore her flesh. As blood sprayed, Lanz turned and ran.

Out of the treatment room, into the ER proper. Ignore the terrified, questioning faces. Find a place to hide. A door—SUPPLIES. The handle won’t turn. Locked. Of course. But he has a key. He fumbles it free, unlocks the steel door, ducks inside, closes and locks it behind him.

Safe! OhgoodChrist, safe!

Lanz slumped to the floor and leaned with his back against some shelving. Gradually he controlled his breathing, felt his heart slow.

He got a grip. He had control.

Okay. Assess the problem.

Some sort of contagious agent—viral, chemical, whatever—had invaded the hospital. Moorecook seemed to be patient zero, at least in Blessed Crucifixion. The two who’d changed had been bitten by him, which was a good indicator it was blood or saliva borne.

He quickly checked himself for cuts or scratches. None. Good. He was infection free. He had a steel door between him and the contaminated. He—

Something in his mouth. He spit it out.

A tooth.

No!

Randall

AS Randall marched down the corridor, it occurred to him that limping out to his truck to retrieve a chainsaw in order to cut up a feral beast that gobbled intestines was exactly the kind of “acting without thinking” behavior that had caused so many problems in his marriage. Well, that and the drinking.

He was in no shape to be walking around like this—he was, after all, hospitalized with a severe leg injury. He didn’t actually need his chainsaw—it was a hospital, so they probably had giant bone saws or other tools for dismemberment that were closer than the parking lot. Not to mention that by the time he actually limped out there, got his chainsaw, and limped all the way back, somebody else probably would have already dealt with the dracula creature issue. And hospital security was probably not inclined to let a gown-wearing, stitched-up lumberjack enter the facility with a chainsaw, even in a time of crisis.

But when Randall got set on an idea, he saw it through. No matter what. He wasn’t going to turn around and sheepishly say, “Ummmm, changed my mind.” Jenny had little enough respect for him as it was. Whatever respect he’d earned before their marriage he’d pissed away during it. He’d let the booze turn him into someone he’d never choose to be, someone he never wanted to be again.

But when Randall Bolton started something, he finished it, whether it was building a treehouse for the son that he hoped to have someday or sitting through an entire wedding for somebody he didn’t know because he’d gone to the wrong church.

And if he did manage to protect his ex-wife with his chainsaw, maybe he’d regain some of his dignity. He loved his chainsaw. Loved being a lumberjack, even if other people liked to sing that cross-dressing song by those British assholes. Loved the sound of falling trees smashing to the ground. Loved the outdoors. Even loved the word “lumberjack,” despite the fact that a couple of his buddies insisted on being called “arborists.”

But the day before yesterday, he’d been humiliated. Oh, sure, he could see where it would be funny to the other lumberjacks—he would’ve been laughing his ass off if it happened to somebody else—but his face burned red just thinking about it. He knew people thought he’d fallen off the wagon, but he hadn’t touched a drop in almost a hundred days. And you know, it used to be a struggle—that whole one-day-at-a-time thing—but now it felt good to be sober.

The accident wasn’t his fault. Really. He hadn’t done anything stupid or careless. He’d been happily chainsawing away, and as the tree started to wobble a squirrel was dislodged from the branches, landing on his hard hat and then scampering down his back. He hadn’t shrieked like a girl or anything, but anybody would yelp if a goddamn squirrel dropped on their head from thirty feet. Randall flinched, twisted around, and his chainsaw blade hit the back of his leg.

He couldn’t hear his buddies laughing over the chainsaw motor, but oh, they were in hysterics. Blood was gushing from his shredded flesh and they were having themselves a great big ol’ guffaw. Again, he would’ve laughed too…but still, fuck those guys.

He refused to let them drive him to the hospital. He’d drive there his goddamn self. He only needed one good leg to drive, so those giggling bastards could burn in hell for all he cared.

Of course, he’d started to get dizzy as he drove, and realized that because of his stubbornness he was bleeding all over his own truck instead of somebody else’s. But he didn’t pull over. He drove all the way to the hospital (while Jack and Frank drove behind him, presumably to make sure he didn’t pass out at the wheel) and checked himself in.

Randall desperately wanted to make peace with his chainsaw.

Putting it through the head of a dracula would do just fine.

He picked up his pace as he walked out of that big room where they made you wait. A nurse covered in blood was having a panic attack while a doctor shook her. Randall didn’t like seeing that kind of shit—you didn’t put your hand on a woman like that even if she was freaking out—but he had to focus. Ignore the chaos. Think only of Jenny and his chainsaw.

He exited the hospital, half-expecting somebody to say “Hey! That gown is hospital property!” He’d grabbed his shoes on his way out of his room and put them on during the elevator ride down, but hadn’t taken the time to grab his pants. He wished he had them. His chainsaw-the-monster redemption would be a lot better if his ass wasn’t hanging out.

Unfortunately, he hadn’t parked close. By the time he’d driven to the hospital, woozy from blood loss, he’d misjudged the distance to the building by over a hundred yards. He had a vague recollection of Jack and Frank helping him get into the ER, but couldn’t for the life of him remember where he’d left his Dodge. The lot was full, and apparently every other driver in the county owned a red pick-up. He weaved through the rows, wishing he had one of those little clicky-things he could press to make his horn honk.

When he finally caught sight of his Dodge, he picked up the pace even more, but that seemed to pull at his stitches and he slowed his pace again to something that wouldn’t rip his leg back open.

It never occurred to him to just get in the truck and drive away. It occurred to him that maybe he should think about that, but no way in hell was Randall going to abandon Jenny. He had more flaws than he had stitches in his leg, but fear was not one of them. Jenny could be a complete bitch to him—and probably would be—but he’d make sure she got out of there safely.

Of course, you could have done that better by staying with her, instead of limping out here to get a chainsaw…

Fuck you, brain.

Thirty-eight calls. Wow. He’d thought it was more like ten. He could blame about thirty-five of them on the heavy-duty painkillers, but the last three…well, he’d just really wanted to talk to Jenny. He wouldn’t have minded if she laughed about the squirrel. At least he’d hear her laugh. He missed her laugh. They used to laugh a lot, but he’d killed that.

Focus. He needed to focus.

He walked up to his truck. The chainsaw rested there on the seat where he’d left it. (Normally it went in the back, but it hadn’t been a normal day. And would Jack and Frank have brought along their chainsaw if it cut open their leg? Hell no, they wouldn’t have. They could laugh all they wanted, but the proof of his manly nature was right there.)

There was dried blood all over the seat. It was going to cost a fortune to have that cleaned, assuming it could be cleaned. He might have to just rip the seat out and have it replaced. Shit.

He focused again.

Then he cursed as he realized that the truck door was locked. His keys were in his hospital room on the third floor. Son of a bitch.

He let out an angry sigh. No possible way was he returning to that hospital without a chainsaw. Not a chance. He walked to the back of the truck and picked up his metal toolbox. There were plenty of other tools in the back, including a hatchet, but he’d rather have a broken window and his chainsaw. If he were wearing actual pants, he could’ve wedged the hatchet into the waist, but the gown left little opportunity to…

No, wait. He had a utility belt. He quickly lifted his gown and put on the thick belt, which had a nice assortment of tools, then slid the hatchet in there. Cool. He looked absolutely ridiculous, but he had lots of toys now.

He returned to the passenger-side door, turned his head to avoid getting glass chunks in his eyes, and used the toolbox to smash through the window. He unlocked the door, opened it, and grabbed the chainsaw. Yes!

It still had his blood on the blade. He kind of liked that.

He limped back toward the building.

Screams from inside. Lots of them.

What the hell was going on?

He’d seen that Dracula movie when he was a kid, but that slick-haired guy didn’t do anything like this.

Randall walked back inside. The room (it was the Emergency Room, right? Or did they take people to the Emergency Room after they waited in this room?) was absolute chaos. He could barely process it all. People were screaming and panicking and getting ripped apart and eaten. He’d known that things were bad when he left…but he’d only gone to the parking lot for a few minutes!

“Jenny!” he called out.

A small, scrawny teenaged kid in a hospital gown noticed Randall. His chest was covered with red as if he’d just enjoyed a messy Italian meal, but it was blood not sauce, and the blood seemed to be his own, the result of the lower, non-pimply half of his goddamn face being mangled. He had huge, sharp teeth, and it looked like they’d ripped right through the skin.

Okay, maybe Randall was feeling some fear now. That was fine.

The dracula smiled—as well as you can smile when the lower half of your face is a pulpy, bloody mess—and rushed at him.

Randall tugged the cord of the chainsaw. It roared to life.

He raised the tool—now a glorious weapon—in front of him, absolutely loving the feeling.

The chainsaw sputtered and died.

Out of gas.

And then the teenaged dracula was upon him, mouth open wide. Randall screamed with rage and bashed the chainsaw into its face as hard as he could. Randall, who was lumberjack-sized, had a good eighteen inches and a hundred pounds on the little monster, and the impact was severe. Blood sprayed.

A second hit and the creature dropped to the floor.

Randall smashed the chainsaw into its head, over and over, as the dracula kept thrashing and trying to grab him. The chainsaw held together fine—Randall didn’t buy cheap chainsaws—and after a good dozen or so blows the dracula stopped moving.

Randall wiped the gore from his face. He hoped the hospital security cameras had caught that.

There was still chaos everywhere, and people who needed help, but once again Randall had to focus. He stood back up, wincing, and forced himself to get moving again. Though there were probably much better options for bashing draculas to death than his chainsaw and it would just weigh him down, he couldn’t bear to leave it behind.

Time to find Jenny.

Moorecook

BLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOOD

SOURCE!

He crouched, felt the new power coursing through his system, and then he was soaring through the lobby, everything slow and fast all at once, and he came down on the shoulders of a man behind the snack bar—the smell of his blood so pure and rich—and as the man screamed, he took his head between his claws and twisted and ripped until a geyser of glorious red erupted in two ropes and he drank from the larger of the two like a water fountain. Had tasted nothing better in his seventy-six years, not even the Macallan fifty-five, not the models he’d fucked back when he could still get it up. The taste of it he couldn’t begin to explain, only how it made him feel, each drop running down his throat—sweet warm salty rust. Like he’d never breathed before until this moment and had finally taken his first hit of oxygen, knowing the more he drank the better…

FUCKFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

Already the blood flow was ebbing. He had to lick it off the floor now, where it was cooling and congealing, and that beautiful euphoric push had begun to pull away, leaving something black and terrible in its place.

A headache descended, like someone driving an ice pick through his frontal lobe.

Something stung his shoulder. He jumped up onto the snack bar, fire blooming down the corridor, streaking toward the doors to the ER, men screaming at him, the gunshots distant, like he heard them from underwater, and with some of the lights came a brief but violent sting, and he could smell blood, his blood and their blood, still muted under their clothes and skin but it was there, calling to him, and he was moving toward them before he realized what he was doing, the men retreating, yelling, more points of light opening and dying like fireflies.

He stopped.

These men would fight him.

He didn’t want to fight.

He just wanted to drink, and there must be a hundred or more of these blood containers on the floors above him.

Sick. Drugged. Helpless.

He leapt off the snack counter and bounded through the lobby toward the elevators.

Jenny

RATHER than dwell on why this was happening—which wouldn’t help things make any more sense—Jenny fell back on her training. After applying antiseptic, lidocaine cream, and a compress to the claw wound on her hip (which thankfully wasn’t serious), she administered a cryoprecipitate IV to a softball player with a transradial amputation of the forearm, and put a Celox compression on the stump to control bleeding. Jenny repeated the procedure with his friend who was missing half his ass, and also gave him a shot of synthetic morphine because the guy was screaming so loud it made her ears ring. Once both patients were stabilized, she allowed herself a bit of pride at her efforts.

This was the reason she’d become a nurse. To help save lives.

Focusing on that, she turned her attention to the hallway, remembering how close the pediatric ward was. Jenny Bolton had no idea what Mortimer had become. But if he got to the children…

Screams, from behind her. She spun and stared in disbelief. The ER had become a war zone.

Somehow, Mortimer’s affliction had spread, infecting others. Jenny counted three—no, four—of the fanged creatures, and a fifth in mid-transformation, spitting out teeth as longer ones grew in. Those still human tried to make it to the exit, but the EMT Jenny had ridden here with was blocking the doors, snapping and slashing at anyone who came close.

That a-hole Lanz was nowhere to be seen, but bending over one of the infected, smashing its head in with a chainsaw, was…

“Randall!”

“Jen?”

Her ex-husband’s neck craned up at the sound of her voice, and he caught Jenny’s eyes and smiled at her, big and stupid.

That’s what Randall was, at his core. Big and stupid. But despite all he’d put her through, seeing him there, alert and sober amid the horror and the chaos, gave Jenny a burst of hope. More than anything, she wanted him to spirit them both out of here.

But they couldn’t leave. Especially now. With more of these…things…in the hospital, someone had to protect the children.

Randall limped over to her, that familiar, lopsided grin on his face, as Dante’s Inferno raged around them. She met him halfway, and when his huge, hairy arms closed around her in a hug, she endured it.

Hell, against her better instincts, she welcomed it.

“We’ve got ourselves a dracula outbreak,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”

Jenny pulled away. “I can’t leave. There are kids in this hospital. Sick kids. They won’t have a chance on their own.”

Randall’s brow furrowed, and he pursed his lips. “Okay. I’ll take you to the truck, then I’ll come back and—”

“No time. I have to go now.”

“It’s too dangerous, Jen. Let me do it.”

“Do you even know where pediatrics is, Randall? Can you even spell pediatrics?”

Randall frowned. “That’s low.”

He was right. And Jenny wanted more than anything for Randall to come with her. But she couldn’t ask that of him. She’d divorced him, kicked him out. Even if he had sobered up, she couldn’t ask him to risk his neck in such a deadly situation.

During their courtship, their engagement, the early years of their marriage, Randall had been the sweetest man on Earth, a big, loyal puppy dog. Not the brightest bulb in the box—really, she could do the New York Times crossword while Randall couldn’t even spell crossword—but that didn’t matter. Randall was…Randall—insanely devoted, who always had her back. Here was a guy who was there for her.

Until he started drinking. Then a new Randall emerged. Violent. He never touched her, never even raised a hand to her. But he’d break things and pick fights with other people. She’d finally given him an ultimatum: Jenny or the bottle. He chose her—or rather said he did, but kept sneaking drinks on the side. Finally she’d called it quits.

Now he seemed more like the man she’d fallen in love with.

“Get out of here, Randall. Save yourself.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Jen. You know that. Let’s go save those sick kids.”

Jenny shook her head. “Don’t do this for me,” she heard herself say. And at the same time, part of her hoped he was doing it for her. She still loved him. After all, she’d never been able to bring herself to go back to her maiden name.

“Of course it’s for you. But it’s also so those little diseased children don’t become dracula snacks. We need to get them safe so they can be sick and die in peace.”

A dracula launched itself at the duo, and Randall pushed Jenny away and swung the chainsaw at its head. Though the saw wasn’t running, the blade hit with such force Jenny heard the creature’s neck snap as it fell to the side. When the dracula hit the floor it thrashed and kicked and screamed, its head gyrating at an odd angle.

“Come on!”

Randall grabbed Jenny’s arm and marched her through the double doors into the depths of the hospital. After a few steps, Jenny took the lead, pulling him to the stairwell, tugging open the door.

“Maybe an elevator?” Randall said. He stared down at his leg, which was dripping blood from torn stitches.

“Aw, Randall…”

Dropping to her knees, Jenny tore at the hem of his hospital gown and began to wrap it around his leg to stop the bleeding. As she was tying off the cloth, she noticed Randall’s gown beginning to extend in front.

“Randall!”

“Sorry,” he said, turning red. “Ain’t been with anyone since you left.”

“Really?” Randall wasn’t smart, but he was handsome and charming, and he’d had a steady stream of girlfriends before they met. Though Jenny was comfortable with her could-stand-to-lose-a-few-pounds body, she’d known that Randall usually dated much hotter, thinner women. If he truly hadn’t had sex with anyone, he’d definitely turned down some offers.

“Well, five-finger Mary, if you know what I’m saying.”

Jenny did. She’d been celibate herself—Randall had left her more than a little bitter about the opposite sex. Still, she had a sudden, completely irrational urge to reach up under his gown and grab him.

Or maybe it wasn’t so irrational. In times of stress, humans often regressed to base behaviors.

“Have, uh…you?” he asked.

“What?”

“Been with anyone since the divorce?”

“That’s not your business, Randall.”

“Yeah.” He looked away. “Sorry.”

Jenny stood up. “We need to get to pediatrics. The elevator is this way.”

He moped along behind, and when they reached the elevator, Jenny pressed the call button. For all the commotion in the ER, the hall was disproportionately quiet. Perhaps some people had already evacuated, despite Dr. Lanz’s proclamation that there wasn’t anywhere to go. Though this area of Durango was currently under development, with lots of new construction up and down the highway, the only other inhabited building within three miles was a gas station. But at the current rate this disease was spreading through the hospital, even the uninhabited woods at night would be preferable to staying here. Unless they were able to stop the infection, Jenny predicted everyone would be either dead or turned within a few hours.

The elevator dinged, and when the doors opened a dracula darted out, tackling Jenny.

She fell backward, the creature atop her, snarling and gnashing its horrible teeth. Jenny caught a quick glimpse of the nurse’s uniform, and the nametag, Fortescue, as she reached up to grab the dracula’s shoulders, keeping its fangs away. The snap snap snap of the jaws, like mousetraps going off, flecked blood and spittle all over Jenny’s face. She turned away, scrunched closed her eyes and mouth, worried more about getting the infection than being devoured.

Then, as quickly as she’d been pinned down, Jenny was free.

Randall had jerked Nurse Fortescue off Jenny and pinned the monster to the floor, his bare foot on her chest, his chainsaw tearing at her neck. He moved the saw up and down, a combination of weight and brute strength causing it to tear through the dracula’s throat, blood spraying out three-hundred and sixty degrees like a lawn sprinkler.

The thing that was once Fortescue thrashed and hissed, and Randall dropped his big knee onto the monster’s ribcage, pressing on the edge of the blade with both his palms, shaking it back and forth until Jenny heard the audible pop of the spinal cord severing.

Still, the teeth gnashed and feet—claws bursting out through the gym shoes—continued to kick and writhe. It wasn’t until Randall had the head completely severed and pushed away from the body, that the monster was finally still.

“You okay?” he asked, staring up at his ex-wife.

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you turned the saw on?”

“Outta gas. Still works pretty good, though.”

Jenny carefully wiped some blood from her face, avoiding getting any in her eyes, nose, or mouth, and then walked over to Randall.

“Nurse Fortescue is from pediatrics,” she said. “We need to move. Now.”

Lanz

SINGLY and in pairs, all but two teeth had fallen out of Dr. Kurt Lanz’s gums. He cupped them in his hands. He’d counted them.

He knew.

How? Why? He’d been racking his brain for a reason. He hadn’t been bitten or cut. He—

Oh no! Moorecook had been seizuring when Lanz arrived, spraying bloody saliva everywhere. Some had landed on his face. A fleck must have reached his lips. He’d been contaminated through his mucous membranes instead of directly into his blood. A tiny inoculum. A delayed reaction. A slower transformation.

Screams erupted on the far side of the door, followed by gunfire. He rose and pressed his ear against the steel. Sounded like chaos out there. Good thing—

Something slammed against the door. He jerked back as fists began pounding the other side and someone screamed to be let in.

No fucking way, Jose.

The pounding and screaming stopped abruptly. Shaken, Lanz sat again. If he could just hold out here till the cavalry rode in, he’d be—

The faint sound of a siren filtered through the door. Had the sheriff sent someone?

Okay…he could control this. Maybe not the physical aspects, but he refused to become a bloodthirsty beast like the others. He was a doctor, for fuck’s sake. He was educated. And he was certainly more intelligent than any dozen of these yokels combined.

His last two teeth dropped from his gums.

Didn’t matter. He was better than the rest. He’d beat this.

Sudden blasts of agony shrieked from his fingers and drove him to his knees as hooked claws burst from the tips.

And then indescribable pain from his jaws as the fangs erupted and tore through his cheeks and lips, like he’d forced his face into a wood chipper.

His vision blurred, then cleared. He saw everything in such detail now, like switching from a blurry black-and-white TV to hi-def. Same for his sense of smell. A delicious, mouth-watering odor was wafting through the door. He recognized it: blood. Beautiful, warm, red, delicious blood. He had to—

No! He was better than this. The cops were here. He’d heard the sirens. He’d stay in here and explain through the door what had happ—

Hungry! So hungry! That smell was driving him crazy.

His hand seemed to move of its own volition. Hard to turn the knob with those claws, but he managed. And when the door swung open the blood smell enveloped him, banishing every desire but to feed, every feeling but hunger.

He saw a pair of wary EMTs—fat woman pulling in front, middle-age guy pushing from behind—hesitantly wheeling a stretcher through the door. The siren hadn’t been police, it had been an ambulance.

Blood! Fresh blood!

Lanz leaped up on the nurse’s station and launched himself at them. The claws of his left hand pierced the side of the fat, lead EMT’s face as Lanz sailed by. The hooks caught and set. Lanz felt a tug and then a give as the face ripped free.

By then he was upon the second, sinking his fangs into his exposed throat, tearing the flesh, chugging the hot gush of blood as it rushed into his mouth. The guy went down, kicking and trying to scream but he had no throat so how could he scream? And then he stopped struggling and the blood stopped flowing.

So soon?

More!

Lanz turned and saw the fat EMT on her knees, screaming as she held her ripped face in place. He lunged at her and tore into her throat.

Again, the rush of the gush. For the first time in his life Lanz truly felt alive. He couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop!

Nurse Winslow

THE two big orderlies emerged from cold storage into the autopsy suite where Janine stood by one of the tables, gripping the stainless steel so her hands wouldn’t shake. She’d been head nurse at Blessed Crucifixion since Jenny Bolton had been fired, and nothing had rattled her up until now, not even the ten burn victims who’d come through her ER six months ago when the Doublespruce Hotel had gone up in flames.

But she’d just watched Ralph and Benjamin roll a man past her on a gurney whose head had been ripped off, and she didn’t have a filter for that. They’d set the victim’s head in his lap with his hands positioned so it appeared as though he was holding his own noggin, one of them cracking a joke about Ichabod Crane as they wheeled past, and she would’ve dressed them down right then and there, but it was all she could do to keep standing, her legs threatening to give out at any moment.

Nothing about this was right. They’d brought that rich old man in several weeks ago on a morphine OD scare, and he’d barely had the strength to get himself around without a walker.

She looked up. Ralph was standing in front of her.

“Anything else, Ms. Winslow?”

Low, booming voice. Bloodshot eyes suggesting a healthy marijuana habit.

“No, but go check with Dr. Lanz.”

She followed the orderlies to the entrance of the morgue. “I’m going to lock myself in,” she said. “Call me when they’ve caught the old man.”

She closed the door and turned the deadbolt, knew she should feel safe now—no way to open that door from the outside unless you had a key—but something about being down here in the basement with six corpses still unnerved her.

Janine drifted over to the coroner’s desk and eased down into the metal folding chair. God, she was tired. Her shift should’ve ended an hour ago. Couldn’t wait to get home, crack open that four-pack of Bartles and Jaymes Strawberry Daiquiri wine coolers, and watch the newest episode of House she’d TiVo’d last night.

Hugh Laurie.

Yum.

Even now, she felt that warmth between her legs. House would know how to handle a situation like this, no doubt. She’d never admitted it to anyone, but she often imagined that Lanz was House, and she was Dr. Cuddy, took the whole fantasy quite a bit farther than she was comfortable admitting, even to herself, especially after two or three wine coolers and her lounging in a bubble bath with her Natural Contours Personal Massager.

It had suddenly grown very quiet. She never liked coming down to the cooler. Not even in the middle of the day with the medical examiner and his team buzzing around. The chill that radiated out of cold storage just plain creeped her out.

She rubbed her arms, gooseflesh spreading across her skin.

Her navy scrubs wouldn’t keep her warm down here.

A sound perked her head up.

Soft, muffled. Sourced from cold storage.

Temperature gradient, she figured. The metal doors of the refrigerated morgue drawers contracting and expanding.

She glanced at her watch: 9:12 P.M.

She should be home by now, dammit, already into her second—

Another sound. Unmistakable. Like someone had thumped one of the drawers. She stood up. If Ralph and Benjamin were fucking with her, she’d make certain they were drug-tested next week. Would bet her next two paychecks they’d both come back with hot UAs.

She walked through the autopsy suite toward the large door to cold storage, which stood wide open.

From what she’d heard, practical jokes were a common occurrence down here, but she couldn’t believe even those two stoners would try to pull something on a night like this.

She stepped through into cold storage and put her ear to one of the drawers.

Sounded like fingernails scratching against metal.

The scratching stopped.

BANG.

She jumped back.

BANG. BANG.

What the hell?

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Janine stood facing the refrigerated nine-drawer cabinet, and she could see the metal vibrating.

The body in there was still alive.

Winslow rushed to it, fingers locking around the stainless steel handle.

Then she paused.

The woman was in there. The mother, who had her entire intestinal tract torn out. The orderlies had used a snow shovel to scoop her insides back into her body cavity.

How could she still be alive? There was no way.

The banging had stopped, and Winslow wondered if she’d somehow imagined the noise. Fear and stress could make the mind play tricks. After what she’d seen in the ER, Winslow might even be exhibiting symptoms of shock. Or post-traumatic stress disorder. Auditory hallucinations weren’t unheard of.

BANG!

The loudest yet, the handle vibrating so hard it stung her palm.

And it was accompanied by a scream. The loudest, rawest, most agonizing scream Winslow had ever heard.

My god! How can that poor woman still be alive?

Heart thumping, throat dry, Winslow tugged hard on the handle, putting her entire hundred and ten pounds behind it, the drawer sliding out with a metallic ring.

Yes, the poor woman was alive, her eyes wide, the pupils dilated. Her guts were strewn all over her body, and her head thrashed back and forth in unbearable pain.

No…not pain. It wasn’t pain at all.

The woman’s head shook because she was trying to chew her way through her own intestines.

She held a loop in both of her hands—her twisted, clawed hands—and her mouth tore at the tough, stretchy tissue of her transverse colon, which was still attached to the gaping hole in her abdomen.

The woman screamed again, her wide eyes locking onto Winslow’s.

Then she spat out her digestive tract and reached her horrible hands out for the nurse, her hideous, fang-filled mouth yawing open to an impossible size.

Winslow reacted instantly. She pushed the handle, leaning into it, her rubber soled nurse’s shoes squeaking against the polished tile floors as the drawer slid closed.

The mother creature rolled onto her chest, sliding off the drawer on a pool of her own blood, slipping out and plopping, face-first, onto the ground just as the door slammed shut.

Winslow backpedaled, tripping over her feet. The mother creature shrieked at her, scrambling across the floor, closing the distance between them. Janine opened her mouth to yell for help—the orderlies might still be near. But her throat had locked in fear, and she could only manage a soft squeak.

Crabwalking backward, Winslow felt and saw one of those claws grasp her shoe. Its grip was a vice, and its pointed finger bones dug into the thin flesh of Janine’s ankle. She kicked out with her other leg, trying to break free, her rubber soles bouncing harmlessly off the creature’s hand. Then it began to pull, its jaws snapping so hard and fast it almost sounded like a tap dancer.

Against her every impulse to pull away, Janine Winslow leaned forward instead, pawing at the Velcro straps on her shoe, ripping them free, then yanking her foot out of the mother-creature’s grasp and crawling into the corner of the room by the desk.

Catching her breath, filling her lungs, Nurse Winslow let loose with the loudest scream of her life.

“HEEELP!!!!”

The mother creature had Winslow’s shoe in its mouth, chewing the leather and rubber to shreds. Its wide nostrils flared, and it began to scurry toward Winslow once again.

Ten feet away.

“HELP ME!”

Five feet away.

“JESUS CHRIST HELP!”

Two feet away, its wicked claws reaching out, Winslow curled up fetal in the corner, her knees tucked into her chest.

Then the creature jerked to a stop and hissed. It writhed for a moment, its whole body shaking, but it didn’t come any closer.

Winslow saw why.

Its intestines. They’re caught in the drawer.

They stretched out the length of the morgue, a slimy, bloody rope keeping the creature away like a dog on a leash.

“Ms. Winslow? Holy fuck!”

Ralph. At the door, peering in through the small, square window. Winslow watched the knob shake, but not turn.

Locked. I locked myself in.

“Get the key from Kurt!” Winslow cried out.

Ralph nodded, then disappeared. Winslow faced her attacker, which had stopped trying to reach for her. Instead, the mother creature, eyes bulging, was chewing on its own hand, scarfing it down like it hadn’t eaten in weeks. Winslow watched the blood spurt, listened to the tiny bones crack and splinter, and then turned away from the spectacle, her attention zeroing in on the desk.

A weapon. I need a weapon.

She yanked open a drawer, pencils and desk supplies raining down on her. A stapler. Some Post-It notes. Paper clips. She picked up some child’s safety scissors with blunted tips, and stared at them incredulously.

It’s a morgue, goddamn it. Where’s a goddamn scalpel?

A choking sound from the creature. Winslow dared a glance. It had bitten off and eaten all of its fingers, and was jamming its own stump down its throat, gagging obscenely. Then, suddenly, it twisted around and began gnawing at the taut loop of intestines tethering it to the drawer.

Winslow got onto her knees, opening up another drawer.

There. A trocar.

It was heavy. Sharp. Formidable. A hefty metal tube, hollow and pointed on the end, used for aspirating body cavities. This was a large model, wide as a garden hose and close to eight inches long. Winslow gripped the base and faced the monster, which had gnawed its way through its own entrails and lunged toward Winslow, its mouth so wide it looked like it could almost swallow Winslow’s head.

She thrust the trocar upward, using both hands, punching the razor tip through the creature’s ribcage and into its heart.

Blood immediately sprayed out the base like a spigot, drenching Winslow’s clothes as the monster flopped onto her. But instead of latching onto Winslow’s neck, those hideous, snapping jaws kissed the floor, a mangled tongue lapping at the tile.

Blood. It’s licking up its own blood.

The creature hoovered it up as the red stuff pumped out of its own chest, smearing it across its face, sucking it in with a sound like slurping soup.

But it wasn’t quick enough. Winslow watched, horrified, transfixed, as the creature’s blood output overtook its input. The trocar was too big, pumping out blood faster than the mother could take it back in. The crimson pool grew ever wider, even as the thing’s frenzy increased.

Eventually, it toppled onto its face, limbs splayed out, tongue still licking feebly at the sticky floor, until finally even that was still.

BANG.

Winslow’s head spun at the sound.

Another drawer. Something alive inside.

BANG!

BANG BANG!

And another one.

BANG BANG BANG!

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!

All of the drawers were shaking, rattling, the cacophony so loud it drowned out her wail of fear. Then the hissing started, spliced with that horrible shrieking, Nurse Winslow’s brain telling her to move, get out, but by the time her legs received the message the first door had burst open, and along with a blast of cold air, a clown popped out onto the floor, landing on all fours. Awful teeth, black eyes, fright wig, its fangs already chomping as it stared across the room at Winslow.

Now, finally, Janine’s legs were moving, and she was sprinting toward the exit. She collided into the door and jerked on the handle out of pure instinct, but it didn’t budge.

Behind her—

SQUEAK.

SQUEAK.

SQUEAK.

The clown, on its feet now, its comically oversized shoes fitted with joke squeakers, which got louder as it plodded closer.

Winslow’s fingers found the lock, and as she turned the deadbolt, pulling the door open, she heard a flurry of squeaks as the monster ran at her, crushing her with its bulk, and her last thought as its fangs sank into her face…

I’ve always hated clowns.

Benny the Clown

FOUR hours earlier, Benjamin Jamison Southwick had been sitting in a cheap motel room, a gun in his mouth. Most clowns were crying beneath their painted-on smiles, and Benny the Clown was flat-out suicidal under his.

After deciding that, yes, he was finally going to do it this time, Benny the Clown had spent a while trying to figure out if he should do it in his clown costume. It would get a lot more attention if he did. Local Clown Blows Brains Out, Declared Unfunny. But he came from a long line of clowns, and did he really want to disgrace the Southwick name?

He’d thought about it, weeping much of the time, and then decided that yes, he would kill himself in his clown suit.

But he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t pull the trigger.

Just like the last three times.

Finally he’d checked his watch. He was scheduled to do a birthday party in half an hour. Might as well keep his commitment.

Getting bit by the birthday girl made him sad.

Having her braces get stuck in him made him sadder.

Sitting in the hospital with the girl and her awful mother, Benny the Clown had never been so sad in his life. If he’d had the gun with him, he thought he could have pulled the trigger, no problem.

He didn’t remember any of that now. Because now, with the taste of blood in his mouth and much of the nurse’s cheek between his teeth and no thoughts beyond how to get more more more MORE MORE MORE, Benny the Clown was happier than he’d ever been.

Oasis

WHY had Mom never told her that people were filled with delicious red candy? It was better than jelly beans. Way better. She’d only gotten a taste of it, but she needed more. Right now. That mean, brown-skinned nurse had punched her in the face when she’d bitten her arm, and then everyone had rushed out, leaving Oasis alone in the treatment room.

She looked down at her hands—they weren’t really hands anymore. They looked like monster claws.

The pain in her face was going away.

She could hear a lot of screaming on the other side of the door.

Screaming meant people.

People meant warm red candy.

Oasis jumped down off the gurney and opened the door.

Candy everywhere! On the walls, the ceiling, people covered in it, and straight ahead, two monsters were licking it off the floor by the nurses’ station.

She bounded over and crouched between them, but she hadn’t even touched her long, spongy tongue to the puddle when one of the monsters hissed at her and swung its claw at her face.

The blow knocked her back into the wall, and Oasis screamed, It isn’t fair, you stupid dumbhead! But the words came out as a loud hiss, and now that monster was moving toward her.

She leapt away and exploded through a pair of double doors, sprinting now—faster than she’d ever run before, faster than she imagined possible—down a long corridor.

She came around a corner and skidded to a stop.

A man in pale blue scrubs stood before the closed elevator doors, pushing the UP button over and over and saying bad words.

When he noticed Oasis staring at him, he said, “Holy fucking shit,” and backed away.

Oasis asked him if he would share some of his candy, but again, her words came out hissing, and the man screamed, “Get the fuck away from me, little girl!”

She was moving toward him now. He was so tall and big she figured he probably contained more red candy than most. She could smell it through his skin, and the odor made her legs crouch, and before she’d even considered it, she was jumping toward him, her claws outstretched, screaming with pure joy at the thought of sinking her pretty new teeth into the man’s—

A metal trashcan connected with the side of her head and she slammed into the elevator doors.

She cry-hissed. Why was he—

The trashcan crashed into her head again.

She screamed, “Stop hurting me!”

The man hit her again.

Why was he beating her? She only wanted his—

That third blow was the hardest. Felt her skull crack open.

She blacked out and came back as the elevator doors were closing, the big candy-filled orderly gone.

All she could think about was her thirst for that candy, her head throbbing with her need for it.

She leapt to her feet.

Heard noise coming from the emergency room, and she wanted to go back, but it was full of adults.

Adults were strong and mean. They would fight her, maybe hurt or even kill her.

Her black eyes fell upon a placard between the elevators:

3rd FLOOR

Cardiovascular Services

Endoscopy Registration

The Birthplace

The words were too big for her to read except for the last line.

T-h-e B-i-r-t-h-p-l-a-c-e.

She smiled, and her huge teeth split her cheeks the rest of the way to her earlobes.

Maybe there would be babies there. Smaller, yes, not as brimming with red candy as adults, but…

How could they fight back?

Randall

AS the doors closed and the elevator began to ascend, Randall frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Jenny asked.

“The elevator music. I think it’s a Metallica cover.”

She listened for a moment, then nodded. “I think you’re right.”

“When did it become okay to do that to Metallica? There’s no more decency in the world.”

Jenny didn’t reply.

Honestly, Randall didn’t care about the elevator music—he was just trying to distract himself from the fact that his feelings were hurt.

Yes, in a hospital full of flesh-eating, blood-drinking creatures, moments after being responsible for a bludgeoning death and a decapitation, Randall’s feelings were hurt. So what if he couldn’t spell pediatrics? He could spell most of the word, and even in a time of crisis, even after he saved her life, Jenny seemed to go out of her way to make him feel dumb.

Of course, Jenny had never made fun of him before he started drinking. He guessed that was the only way she could get back at him. Since the divorce he’d tried to smarten up. He’d read books—real books—but he had to admit that while he sort of understood them while he was reading, the words weren’t staying in his brain.

But just like getting sober, he kept trying. Because he loved her.

He’d always love her.

And maybe someday—

The elevator doors opened.

Focus. Time to save the kids.

Randall held the non-running chainsaw out in front of him. He could hear screams coming from several different places, but at least there weren’t any draculas in the hallway.

A dracula ran around the corner into the hallway.

“Get behind me,” said Randall, though Jenny had already done that. The dracula was absolutely drenched in blood—it even dripped from his hair—and he wore a black leather jacket and a pair of jeans that you could sort of tell had once been blue. He clearly wasn’t a patient or a doctor; it was probably somebody visiting a friend or relative.

The dracula rushed down the hallway toward them, mouth wide open.

The elevator doors started to close. It was hard for Randall to believe that he was in a situation where he didn’t want heavy metal doors to close between him and a bloodthirsty monster, but those kids needed to be saved. He bumped the doors with his elbow and they slid back open.

The dracula extended his arms and opened its mouth even wider.

“Hold this,” said Randall, handing Jenny the chainsaw. As she took it from him, he slid the hatchet out of his belt. Though he wanted to shout a battle cry and rush to meet the creature, he couldn’t run on his injured leg, so he clutched the hatchet tightly in his fist and steeled himself for the creature’s approach.

He let out the battle cry.

The dracula let out an animalistic screech.

Randall stepped forward and swung the axe as hard as he could. Perhaps he couldn’t spell “arterial spray,” but he could sure as shit make it happen. The blade of the hatchet wasn’t large enough to completely sever the dracula’s head, but Randall’s aim and the force behind the swing were inarguably fantastic. The blade went completely through the dracula’s neck, bursting out the other side, and its head flopped to the left, dangling by a small strip of meat.

The dracula was knocked off its feet, landing hard on its back.

Randall slammed his good foot onto its head, crunching through its skull. Its body twitched. He stomped it again to make the twitching stop.

“F-U-C-K Y-O-U,” he spelled out.

So, the draculas had a weakness: they didn’t know how to duck out of the way of a goddamn hatchet.

He glanced over at Jenny to see whether she was amused, horrified, or impressed. She was horrified. Not because of the gore, but because two more draculas—one in a hospital gown, one in a dress shirt—were running toward them.

Randall stepped forward to keep Jenny out of harm’s way and out of the splash zone. He ignored the jolt of pain in his leg, let out another battle cry, and swung the hatchet so hard he thought he might have popped his shoulder out of socket. The blade slammed into the dracula’s chest and smashed the creature into the one behind it. The bloody handle popped out of Randall’s grasp as both draculas hit the floor.

The first dracula got up more quickly than Randall would have anticipated or hoped. It stood, blood pouring down its chest. Randall yanked a screwdriver out of his utility belt. A very small screwdriver. One designed for screws instead of skulls.

The second dracula grabbed the first dracula’s foot, pulling it to the ground. It wrenched the hatchet out of the first dracula’s chest wound, tossed the weapon aside, and then bit down into the bloody gash.

Randall knew that he shouldn’t be standing there, staring at them in horror, but he couldn’t help himself. Those bastards would drink each other’s blood, too? That was messed up.

Jenny nudged him forward. “Let’s go!”

As the two draculas wrestled on the ground, Randall and Jenny rushed past them, with Randall quickly grabbing his hatchet on the way. There would be more draculas to chop up, that was for sure.

He winced as they ran.

“How’s your leg?” Jenny asked.

“Crappy. But I’ll live. Where’re the kids?”

“Just around the corner.”

There was a terrible scream as they rounded the corner, but Randall couldn’t see the source. His leg was really, really starting to hurt. If he wasn’t careful, they’d have to find the place where the hospital kept its wheelchairs.

Jenny pushed open a door marked “Pediatrics.”

Randall was an optimist at heart, and he wasn’t one to envision ghastly scenes of carnage. That said, he fully expected to see a giant room full of child parts, tiny arms and legs strewn everywhere, bloody, ripped-off faces sliding down the walls, and a shredded teddy bear at his feet to drive home the tragedy of it all.

Instead, the first room in the wing was filled with sobbing children, but none of them were dead or even bleeding.

“We have to get them out of here,” Jenny said.

Randall shook his head. “You can’t lead that many kids through this place. We need to keep them here and defend them.”

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m not thinking straight.” Jenny squeezed her eyes shut, then re-opened them. They widened as she looked at something behind Randall, in the direction from which they’d come.

He spun and caught a glimpse of a dracula, a really old fucker. The dracula disappeared from sight and Randall returned his attention to Jenny. “It’s okay. He’s not coming after us.”

“No, I think he’s the one who started this.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was the first one to transform into one of those things.”

Randall frowned. “So you mean he’s…I dunno…the leader or something? Kill the queen and the rest die, like ants?” Randall hoped that didn’t sound stupid. He didn’t mean that he’d expect the rest of them to suddenly burst into dust if he killed the leader, but what if the leader was giving them signals? Was that dumb?

He stared into Jenny’s eyes. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just…I don’t know.”

“I’ll be right back,” Randall said. “I’ll kill him. If it doesn’t do anything…well, he should be killed anyway, before he kills somebody else. Barricade yourself and the kids in here as well as you can. Here, I’ll trade you.” He handed her the bloody hatchet, took back his chainsaw, and turned to go.

“Randall!”

He stopped. He’d never heard Jenny so upset before. When he turned and looked at her, she seemed close to tears.

“I need you here. Please don’t leave me.”

She held out her hand to him. He took it, the warmth of her touch penetrating his rough, calloused hands and working its way through his whole body.

I need you here…

Did she have any idea what those words meant to him? He felt the start of tears. He blinked them back and managed to speak around the lump in his throat.

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

Clayton Theel

DAMN hospital.

Clayton Theel, Jr. tossed his cell phone on the passenger seat as he pulled out of the Gulf station. He’d been filling up his Suburban—a feat that required a small business loan at current prices—and had missed Shanna’s call. His return call had hit instant voicemail. She had her phone off.

Sure, he’d pick her up at the hospital. Jenny too. Not a problem. But her voice had sounded a little funny. Prolly just a woman thing. Never knew how they’d react to something.

He dug the little cube box out of his pocket. He flipped up the top and checked out the diamond sparkle. He did know how she’d react when he handed her this and asked her to marry him.

Then again, maybe he didn’t know. Maybe she’d think it was too soon. They’d known each other only six weeks, true, but he had no doubt in his mind that she was the one. And he knew he was right for her. In all the schools she’d gone to, she’d probably never met a man like him. Just wimpy brainiacs and stuffy professors. She dug him almost as much as he dug her. Almost, because no one could be as crazy for anyone as he was for her.

She might say it was too soon, that he was rushing things, and maybe he was, but he wanted her to know that this wasn’t any fly-by-night relationship for him, wanted her to know he was committed. He’d wait. It was only a matter of time.

All that sparkle had cost him a bundle, but nothing was too good for—

His phone rang. He snatched it up and said, “Hello, darlin’.”

“Why, Clay! I didn’t know you cared!”

He winced as he recognized the male voice.

“Sorry, sheriff. Thought it was—”

“Someone else?” the sheriff said, laughing. “After I gave myself to you?”

Clay laughed too, despite his discomfort. Sheriff Seward was a good guy, but this stuff wasn’t all that funny.

“What’s up, boss?”

“Got a situation.”

Crap. He wasn’t going to call him in, was he? Clay had been planning this weekend, at least the gun-show part of it, for a loooong time. And looking forward to it even more with Shanna coming along. He needed this weekend.

“What’s up?”

“Got a train off the track and on its side, flat across the highway, but we’re handling that.”

Good, good. So far, so good.

“But I got a funny call from the hospital.”

Clay’s neck muscles bunched. Shanna was at the hospital.

“Funny how?”

“You know that tight-ass, his-shit-don’t-stink ER doc—?”

“Lanz?”

“Yeah, him. Well, he calls with some story about being terrorized by a monster running loose in the hospital. We’re all tied up here, so I was wondering—I mean, I know it’s your weekend off, but—”

“I’ll go take a look right now.”

A pause on the other end, surprise most likely. “You will?”

“Not a problem. Can’t have monsters running around Blessed Crucifixion, can we? I’ll check it out and call you back.”

No need to tell the sheriff he was headed there anyway.

“That’s damn white of you, Clay. I won’t forget this.”

Clay forced a casual laugh. “Damn right, you won’t. I won’t let you.”

The sheriff hung up laughing. Clay hit END and frowned. A monster at the hospital? What kind of crap was that? Was Lanz on drugs? Well, drugs or for-real monster, didn’t matter. Shanna could be in danger.

He stomped the gas.

An ambulance sat outside the ER entrance, lights flashing, rear doors open. Clay pulled his Suburban in beside it, popped the glove compartment, and removed his Glock 23. As he stepped out, he stuck it in the waistband of his jeans at the small of his back. He was out of uniform and didn’t want to freak anyone by going in hot.

He didn’t have to rack the slide because he always kept a round chambered. An empty chamber was worse than useless, it was just plain stupid. He’d filled its extended mag to the brim with .40 caliber, 180-grain Hydra-Shok hollow points.

Enough to stop any “monster.”

As he stepped toward the two-stage entrance, he saw someone in a hospital security uniform standing with his back to the inner doors. The outer motion detector caught his approach and opened one of the doors. The guard turned and Clay froze.

His face. He was wearing some sort of Halloween mask, except Halloween was a long way off. The blood and most of the mask looked pretty damn realistic, but the teeth didn’t work—too big, too many of them. Just plain unreal.

Then it opened its impossible jaws and wiggled its tongue as it hissed at him.

That was no mask.

…some story about being terrorized by a monster running loose in the hospital…

This was the monster.

It charged him, talons extended.

Clay backpedaled and pulled the Glock.

“Stop! Stop right there!”

If the thing heard him, it gave no sign. In fact it seemed to increase its speed.

Clay raised the Glock in the official two-handed grip as it burst from the entrance.

“Last warning or—!”

Those claws…too close. Clay squeezed the trigger three times and put three .40-caliber Hydra-Shoks into its center of mass. The impacts spun it 180 to the left, but it stayed up—staggering, but still on its feet despite the three gaping exit wounds in its back.

How was it standing? Those Hydra-Shoks with the little center post in the hollow expanded like mad. Its lungs and maybe its heart had to be confetti.

It staggered in a circle, completing another 180, then started for Clay again.

What the hell?

Clay went for the head this time. Three more straight into the face. He saw blood and brains form a crimson halo behind it as the head snapped back. It went down like a felled tree, arms spread like branches, to land flat on its back.

Clay watched it for a few seconds. When it didn’t move, he stepped up for a closer look.

“Jesus.”

One round had entered through its fangs, snapping off half a dozen of them. One through the nose, and the third through the left eye. He’d never seen anything like this thing. One ugly mother.

With the toe of his boot he flipped it over. The back of its skull was gone, the brain pan pretty much empty.

Well, Lanz hadn’t been exaggerating about a monster terrorizing the hospital, but now it was a dead monster. He hoped to hell Shanna was all right.

Clay was just about to turn away when he thought he spotted movement. He turned back and saw the creature slipping an arm under itself, trying to rise.

“You gotta be shittin’ me!”

He pumped two more rounds into the back of its neck, all but severing the head from its body.

It slumped and lay still. Clay watched a full half minute to make sure it stayed down and still. It did, so he turned and hurried toward the entrance.

He didn’t know what he’d just killed, didn’t much care. Worry about that later. His only thought right now was Shanna…if that thing had hurt Shanna he’d—

What? Nothing much left to do to it except dowse it with gas and set it on fire.

He increased his pace to a fast trot. The doors slid open…

And he entered hell.

Blood everywhere—everywhere. An EMT on the floor with his throat ripped out, a patient on the stretcher, likewise, and another EMT with her face ripped off and her throat torn open.

Had that monster done all this?

Jesus, where was Shanna?

And then movement to his right as a bloodsoaked nurse charged him from a side room, and she had the same goddamn teeth as the EMT outside, the same claws, and the same maniacal look in her black eyes.

No warning this time. He put three slugs into her face, knocking her back, brains and blood and skull and scalp splattering the wall behind her. For insurance, he put two more through her already ruined throat into her spine.

He did a quick 360 with his Glock extended. More bodies—a couple in softball uniforms on a floor awash with blood. But all quiet.

What the fuck?

Back to the nurse. Her bloody name tag read Rodriguez. Her throat had already been torn open when he first saw her. She should have been dead—as dead as she was now—but she’d been on her feet, charging.

What was going on here?

A noise. A hiss. He wheeled.

A guy in a Blessed Crucifixion security uniform was getting off the floor. Clay knew most of the guards but no way he could identify him: he had those same fangs, those same eyes, those same talons.

Clay emptied the Glock into his face, putting him down.

Out of ammo. Not good. He had a feeling there were more of these things. As if to confirm his worst fear, a second security guard started hissing and twitching on the floor as giant fangs began to shred his face.

Shit.

He was going to need a bigger gun.

Not a problem.

Stacie Murray

LABOR.

Hour eight.

Still three centimeters.

Was this baby ever going to come?

And where was Adam? He’d gone to find a nurse five minutes ago when no one had responded to the NURSE CALL button. This hospital wasn’t that—

A series of distant explosions broke the silence of the maternity wing—balloons popping several floors below. Probably some clown or candy striper entertaining the sick kids in Pediatrics. She started to pray for the umpteenth time that their child would be healthy, but the pain stopped her.

Stacie turned over onto her side and groaned.

Here it came, that vise in her belly, and she was really having to breathe through this one—more intense than the last, and it had come faster, too, by almost a minute. Maybe she was finally progressing. Her obstetrician, Doctor Galbraith, had already warned her that if she wasn’t at least eight centimeters dilated by midnight he’d have to perform a cesarean section. It got her emotional just thinking about it. She wanted a vaginal birth, not some doctor sawing her stomach open so he could rush home.

Her uterus relaxed. According to Nurse Herrick, these were still mild contractions, and honestly, that scared Stacie more than anything. Her birth-plan hadn’t included having an epidural. She didn’t want to be drugged for this experience, wanted her mind and body present for every moment, wanted to feel her first child coming out of her, hear those first cries with a lucid mind. But she didn’t know if she could take much more pain than this.

She heard footsteps approaching.

Adam appeared in the doorway, still wearing his black dress shirt and clerical collar. It didn’t exactly match his blue jeans and black Justin boots, but then again, Durango was hardly the epicenter of fashion, especially for a young Lutheran minister. They’d rushed straight to the hospital from the Sunday morning service when her water had broken during communion.

“You all right, honey?” he asked.

She nodded. “I just had another contraction.”

“Stronger?”

“Little bit.”

He came around and sat down beside her on the bed.

“Rub my back?” she said.

“Of course.”

His fingers went to work on her lower back, her muscles tighter than steel suspension cables.

“You find the nurse?” Stacie asked.

“Yeah, but just as she was stepping onto the elevator.”

Stacie stared into her husband’s face—smooth-shaven, still carrying a little baby fat that made him look younger than his thirty-two years. Kind, deep eyes that made him seem wiser. Listening eyes, she called them, and in this moment, she had the feeling they were holding something back from her.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Stacie asked.

“Nothing. Everything’s fine, Stace. You just focus on—”

“Adam…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing for you to worry about. I guess there was some disturbance down in the emergency room, and Nurse Herrick was called down to—”

“What kind of disturbance?”

“I don’t know. She said she’d be right back.”

Stacie thought about the balloons she’d heard popping several minutes ago.

What if…?

No. Adam was right. She had one thing and one thing only to focus on—getting this baby out.

“Tell me what you need, darling,” Adam said, touching the back of his hand to her forehead, which had broken out in tiny beads of sweat.

Stacie smiled. “I’m really thirsty.”

“But you can’t have water. In case you have to go into surgery.”

“Yeah, but a bucket of ice chips would really hit the spot.”

Adam Murray

SO he hadn’t exactly told Stacie the truth. Not all of it at least. Nurse Herrick had actually been a little more specific—one of the patients in the ER had apparently injured some people and hospital security was involved. She’d also told Adam to stay in the room and keep the door locked, and as soon as he got back with the ice chips, he planned to do just that.

But Stacie didn’t need to know the details. She had plenty on her mind.

He was so proud of her for wanting a natural childbirth. Not that it mattered to him one way or the other, but he thought it showed real bravery on Stacie’s part.

He’d been teary all day thinking about holding his son (or daughter—they’d chosen not to know the sex beforehand) for the first time.

After blowing Stacie a kiss, he closed the door to their room and started down the corridor.

Quiet up here on the third floor in this nine-bed maternity ward, and aside from the door to their room, only one other was closed.

He passed the first, heard a woman moaning inside.

The nurses’ station stood vacant.

Adam took a wrong turn down a short hallway that dead-ended at the OR. The doors were closed, windows dark.

The hall on the other side of the nurses’ station led to a nursery, and across from it, a waiting room and a kitchen.

Both empty.

Adam walked into the kitchen, searched the cabinets until he came to a stack of plastic buckets.

The ice machine hummed in the corner.

As he filled the bucket, he thought he heard those distant pops again over the racket of the falling ice, several floors below.

Back out in the hall, Adam stopped at the big window and peered into the nursery.

Low lit.

None of the glass isolettes was occupied.

His son or daughter would be in there soon.

The doors to the maternity wing swung open and footsteps padded quickly down the hall.

Nurse Herrick emerged around the corner. She was a cute, petite, thirty-something blonde, bit of a cowgirl twang in her voice. He thought he’d seen her at his church before with a seven or eight-year-old boy, but he couldn’t be sure.

Adam called out to her.

She stopped and looked at him.

Something was wrong, very wrong—he could see it in her sheet-white face long before he was close enough to notice the speckles of blood that dotted her pink scrubs.

When he reached her, he put a hand on her shoulder—couldn’t help himself, comforting was engrained into his nature.

“Carla, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head, tears welling.

The ice cracked and settled in his bucket.

“There’s been…some kind of outbreak,” she said softly, almost too evenly. “It started in the ER, and it’s spreading. Fast.”

“What do you mean, ‘outbreak?’“

She finally met his eyes, and in them, he glimpsed real fear. “People are changing. They’re killing each other.”

“Where’s hospital security?”

“Dead.”

Adam quickly turned around. “I have to get Stacie out of here.”

He started down the corridor, but Herrick grabbed his arm and pointed back toward the thick, automatic doors she’d just come though, thirty feet beyond the nurses’ station.

“That’s the only way out, Pastor. You need to understand—the other nurses tried to leave.” Her bottom lip quivered. “They didn’t make it. I didn’t come back up here to help you and Stacie escape. I came back to lock you in, because that’s the only chance we have.”

Oasis

AS the elevator climbed slowly toward the third floor, Oasis felt like her stomach was turning itself inside out.

She bent over, vomiting up a pile of black bile laced with birthday cake into the corner of the elevator car.

She cried out, mewling like a kitten.

The bell dinged as The car lifted past the second level.

She stared at her arm, and an idea occurred to her—both comforting and horrifying.

She was filled with red candy.

Oasis turned her talons over, stared down at the periwinkle veins running like a highway system under the skin of her forearm.

Her teeth would pass so easily through her skin, it probably wouldn’t even hurt. Just a little taste was all she needed. She swore she could smell the blood through her flesh. But what if she loved it too much? What if she didn’t want to stop and kept sucking and sucking and—

The bell dinged.

The elevator doors parted.

Oasis crossed the threshold and stepped onto the third floor.

Two bounding strides brought her around the corner into a long corridor of rooms.

A fat, old nurse in purple scrubs had been torn apart twenty feet ahead. Oasis sprinted toward her and buried her face in the open chest cavity like a dog into a bowl of Alpo, but nothing was left. The body held only the faintest scent of red candy.

Oasis stood, big tears trailing down what was left of her face.

She sulked down the corridor, and had just started to think about eating her own arm again when she saw a sliver of light escaping from a room up ahead.

Even as she approached, she could smell it, and when she pushed the door open with one of her black, scythe-like talons, she let out a sharp, involuntary cry of joy.

Jenny

THERE were seven children and three adults in what was called the playroom—an area with several activity tables, a toy chest, and various dry erase boards and easels for watercolors and crayon masterpieces. Running along the far wall was a room-length window, decorated brightly with finger paint. A crudely-drawn bird caught Jenny’s eye, its oversized head reminding her of one of the creatures.

When she first became a nurse, pediatrics was her favorite ward. Children, even sick children, had a wonderful innocence about them. They were optimists, even when they were scared and facing death sentences. Though she and Randall had tried, Jenny hadn’t become pregnant. If she had, divorcing him would have been so much harder.

She cast a glance at her ex, and saw he was barricading the door they’d entered through, piling chairs and tables against it. Randall…he really seemed to be back to the old Randall. It was almost too much to hope for.

His leg was still bleeding, and Jenny knew she’d have to re-stitch his wound. But first things first. When doing triage, it was important to assess who needed immediate care. She turned her attention back to the sobbing families.

Three of the kids—two boys and a little girl—were sitting with their backs to the window, holding hands. No blood on them, though the boy on the right was bald from chemo. One pre-teen was with an older woman—probably Grandma. They clutched each other tightly, and Jenny wasn’t sure who was consoling whom. Another little boy clung to his mom, whose slack, pale expression was an obvious indicator of shock. The last boy, the eldest of them, knelt next to a man, prostrate on the floor, who was bleeding from a neck injury.

Jenny set the bloody hatchet on a table next to some coloring books and hurried to them. The blood pooling around the man was significant. The boy—no more than fifteen—was holding a towel to the man’s neck. Before looking at the injury, Jenny checked his radial pulse. The man’s skin was cool, sweaty. His face lacked color. Tachycardia—his heart was beating wildly—accompanied by rapid breathing.

Hypovolemia. Stage three or four.

This man was bleeding to death.

“Help my Dad. Please help him.”

“Can you hear me, sir?”

Glassy eyes. No response.

The man needed a transfusion, but the hospital’s blood bank was in the basement, and even if she made a run for it, and survived the dracula gauntlet, there was no guarantee the man would still be alive by the time she got back.

Jenny hurried to a closet in the corner of the room, the door decorated with crayon pictures. Inside were supplies. No blood, but a saline IV that would help restore some blood volume, oxygen, noradrenaline…

Her finger attacked the keypad over the lock, punching in the four digit code by memory.

A red light came on, and an unpleasant raspberry buzz indicating she’d gotten it wrong.

She tried it again, slower this time.

Another raspberry. They had changed the code. Son of a—

“Lady, can you help me find my mommy?”

Jenny stared down at the little girl tugging on her uniform. Then she cast a frantic glance around for Randall, who was barricading the second entrance.

“Randall! I need to get this door open!”

His head cocked up at the sound of her voice, and after tossing another chair onto the pile he limped over, pulling a screwdriver off of his tool belt.

“Dad! DAD!”

Jenny stared back at the bleeding man, but even at that distance she could see his chest was no longer moving.

“Got it!” Randall had jammed his screwdriver into the door jamb and popped the lock.

But it was too late. Even if Jenny tried CPR, the man had lost too much blood, and his wound was still open.

She walked to the teen, put a hand on his shoulder, and then he hugged her legs, squeezing them hard as he cried.

“Ah, shit,” Randall said, noticing the dead man.

Jenny tousled the boy’s hair, then motioned for her husband to come over.

“You need to clear a path to one of the doors, so we can drag this man out of here, before he turns into…”

Her voice trailed off, but Randall got the point, limping back to the barricade he’d made. Jenny helped the boy to his feet.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

“Peter. Peter Bernacky.”

“Peter, my name is Jenny. I’m very sorry about your dad. We’re going to put him in another part of the hospital.”

“He’s…dead…”

“I know he’s dead. But I need you to be strong for me. See those little kids sitting by the window? They’re really scared right now. Can you help me try to calm them down?”

Peter nodded, and Jenny took his hand and led him to the two boys huddling together, crying hysterically. Peter knelt next to them, his face a mask of tears, and dragged over a toy fire truck. Jenny watched as he tried to engage the younger children, and had to turn away because she felt her own tears coming.

“Please help me find my mommy. One of the monsters took her away.” The little girl was tugging on her uniform.

“I’ll help in a second, sweetie. But first I need to help Randall. I’ll just be a second.”

Her husband had pushed aside the pile of chairs, returning access to the door. Checking to make sure Peter wasn’t watching, she wrapped her hands around his father’s collar and began to drag him toward the exit. He was a man of average size, but the blood loss not only made him lighter, but functioned as a lubricant. She managed to get him three quarters of the way there by herself, and then Randall joined her.

They tugged the dead man into the hall, outside the picture window.

“We can’t leave him here,” Jenny said. “Peter can still see him.”

“We’ll take him around the corner. He won’t be able to—”

“Mommy!”

The little girl sprinted past, beelining down the hall.

Jenny automatically sprang up to run after her, but her husband’s strong arm wrapped around her waist, holding her back.

“I’ve got to get her, Randall.”

“I’ll get her. You’re staying here.”

“Randall…”

Randall shoved her back into the room, then limped off after the child.

Damn him. He probably won’t even be able to catch her with that bad leg.

What a stupid, stubborn, selfless fool.

“Randall!” she called out after he rounded the corner. “Be careful! I…”

She almost said I love you, but stopped herself. Old habits die hard. Though, if she were forced to tell the truth in a court of law, Jenny still did love the hopeless dope.

Staring down the hallway, she wondered if she should have just said it.

Wondered if she’d ever get another chance.

Squeak…

Squeak…

Squeak…

It was such a familiar sound. Jenny could swear she’d heard it before. Just a little while ago.

What could it be?

Then Jenny remembered.

Benny the Clown’s shoes.

She took a fearful look behind her and saw him standing at the other end of the hallway. Just standing there, watching her, his clown outfit drenched in gore. The dracula teeth had broken through his lips and cheeks. But, incredibly, he still wore the red clown nose and the fright wig.

Squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak!

The clown sprinted at her, its hands outstretched, talons wiggling. Jenny barely had time to scoot back when it pounced—

—on Peter’s dead father. Benny the Clown’s fangs tore into the corpse’s throat, and it shook its head like a dog and pulled away, stretching out the carotid artery as if it were a long string of spaghetti. Jenny managed to get to her feet. Then she danced around Benny the Clown and sprinted toward the playroom. Slamming the door after her, she got behind the nearest table and braced it up against the entrance.

“Help me! Everyone, help!”

Peter and one of the boys began to stack chairs against the door. The others watched through the picture window as Benny the Clown feasted. The woman—the one Jenny guessed was in shock—had locked her eyes on the spectacle. They widened abruptly, and the woman began to scream.

When the door was as secure as Randall had had it, Jenny told Peter and the one boy to sit on the other side of the room and look away. Then she rushed to the screaming woman.

“Miss, you need to be quiet. You’re upsetting the—”

“What is that terrible clown doing?” the Grandmother cried.

Jenny forced herself to look. Benny the Clown had torn open the man’s abdominal cavity, his claws cradling several loops of glistening intestines. But rather than gorging on them, the clown was stretching and pulling the bloody loops, twisting the organ into knots.

Familiar knots.

“Is that…a flamingo?” asked the old woman.

Jenny couldn’t answer. She stared, slack-jawed, as Benny the Clown continued to make balloon animals out of that poor man’s innards.

One of the boys passed out.

The screaming woman passed out.

The old woman threw up, her dentures plopping into the puddle of puke.

Besides the flamingo, Benny the Clown also created a wiener dog, a giraffe, and what could have been either a lion or a poodle—some animal with a poofy mane. Jenny summoned up her last bit of courage and rushed the window, banging her palm on the glass.

“Get away from here! Get away from us, you fucking evil clown!”

Benny stared at Jenny. Stared without moving. Without making a sound. Jenny saw cunning, there. Cunning, and the same kind of cold, watchful malevolence that alligators had.

Then Benny the Clown reached up and squeezed his red nose, the fake flower on his chest squirting blood on the window, blurring Jenny’s view.

A moment later, the clown was gone, his oversized shoes squeak-squeaking down the hallway…

In the same direction Randall went.

Lanz

HE couldn’t get enough of the blood.

It had the same punch as coke. The same rush as an orgasm. The same high as morphine. The same satisfaction as a huge meal when starving. All wrapped up in one overwhelming sensation that made Lanz’s eyes roll up and his body quiver in absolute fucking ecstasy.

But the feeling didn’t last. The moment the blood ran out, so did the jolt. And in its place was a longing, an ache. That ache became painful after just a few minutes, and the pain turned into crippling, mind-searing agony, getting worse and worse until more blood was consumed.

The part of Lanz’s brain that still had some higher functioning recognized the symptoms of addiction, but also knew this was something more. He’d become a higher life form. Sharper vision and hearing, a sense of smell so powerful he could detect a drop of blood from a hundred meters away, faster reflexes, accelerated healing power, abnormal strength.

But unlike the other infected, who seemed to be operating at a reduced mental capacity, Lanz still had some reasoning powers, and some memory of his previous life. He realized this could have been due to the locus of the disease. The others were all infected intravenously, the agent making direct contact with their bloodstream. Lanz had ingested contaminated blood. This could have resulted in a different variation of the infection. Different transmission meant different symptoms.

Medicine certainly had precedents for this. Yersina pestis—known as the black plague—was a bacteria that could infect a host in three entirely different ways, and cause different symptoms as a result. Perhaps this dracula bug was similar.

Or perhaps Lanz’s strong will and extraordinary intelligence were too much for the bug to cope with.

Either way, Lanz felt like the proverbial one-eyed man in the land of the blind. While other creatures ran around, blithely attacking anything that moved—people, each other, and even themselves if the blood urge became strong enough—Lanz could still use his cognitive faculties.

As the disease spread, turning more humans into creatures, Lanz decided competition for blood was getting too fierce. But he knew of a good source. A source that would be like picking low-hanging fruit from a tree.

Pediatrics.

Children would be easy to catch, and not put up much of a fight. Plus, there was an added bonus.

That bitch nurse, Jenny, had said she was headed to the pediatric ward.

Lanz would enjoy tearing her sanctimonious throat out.

He’d enjoy it quite a bit.

Grammy Ann

SHE’D fought a long and valiant battle against the diabetes, but it had finally claimed her right foot, the infection spreading into her blood, sepsis hours from killing her before the amputation.

Now she rested peacefully in a morphine slumber.

Fresh, clean blood flowing into her body and dreaming of a picnic she’d had just last summer up at Vallecito Lake, her two sons with her, and their children, the apples of her eye—six-year-old Benjamin, and eight-year-old Vicki playing by the shore. Grandchildren. Was there anything better? They were like your kids, but without the hassles. A perfect relationship, a dynamic where everybody won.

A crack ran through her dream like a fracture through glass, and she could feel herself tumbling out of it, the phantom pain in her right foot spoiling the memory.

She opened her eyes, but she must have still been sleeping because what she saw made about as much sense as a nightmare.

A little girl who looked to be the same age as her precious Vicki was standing at her bedside with her back turned, sucking down the chilled contents of the blood bag through the needle that had been attached to her left forearm.

It was an image that simply didn’t compute, and because of this, she was certain she was dreaming, but God, it felt so real, especially the pain in her right foot, or rather, where her right foot had been. Maybe if she tried to speak, to engage the little girl, it would shatter the illusion of the dream and she would wake.

“Excuse me. Little girl?”

The little girl didn’t answer or even move. Grammy Ann eyed the blood bag, watching the level of the dark liquid quickly lowering.

“Little girl?”

Then there was only a sucking noise, like slurping down the dregs of a cup of soda.

“Little girl?”

The girl let go of the clear, plastic tube and turned around.

Grammy Ann recoiled, the beeping of the heart monitor accelerating.

Oh God, that face!

This was a nightmare. It had to be. Those black eyes, the shredded cheeks, the long, terrible teeth, shellacked with blood.

She reached for the NURSE CALL, her thumb punching the button over and over.

It happened so fast, the movement was catlike—the little girl leapt off the floor and came down on Grammy Ann’s chest, blood running down her chin.

Her head tilted, and her lips moved, an awful noise coming out of them that sounded like a question in some demonic language.

Grammy Ann screamed, “Nurse!”

Oasis

“CAN I have your red candy?” Oasis asked, and she asked nicely, like the nicest she’d ever asked for anything, but the old woman only screamed.

She would have been gentle, or tried at least, but the screaming hurt her ears, and so she lunged into the woman’s neck, and the screaming got louder, the woman pulling her hair now, and she was strong.

It wasn’t fair!

The old woman jerked Oasis’s head back before she could dig in, and hit her in the cheek.

Oasis roared and swiped one of her talons at the woman’s face, but it missed and sliced across her neck instead, and suddenly—

Red candy everywhere!

—and the old woman still flailing and thrashing but the smell and taste of the red candy drew Oasis in and she was at the woman’s neck again, biting, tearing, sucking, the blows still coming, but slower and softer, and the screams dissipating, and then the old woman lay still, and Oasis didn’t have to struggle anymore.

Instead, she just curled up beside the old woman, whose arm was around Oasis, and, come to think of it, it reminded her of her Grandma Betsy, and it was just like those times when she stayed at Grandma’s house and Grandma would read a book to her before bedtime, except instead of cozying up with a book, it was cozying up with that delicious red candy running out of Grandma’s neck, right down into Oasis’s throat in a steady stream, and she lay with the old woman in her bed for five minutes, until the last of her candy was gone.

Stacie

ADAM walked into the room and locked the door after him.

He sat down on the bed, offered her a shard of ice.

“How you feeling?” he asked.

“Gigantic,” she said.

“Stop it, you’ve never been more beautiful.”

The water felt so good sliding down her throat, despite the micron-size portion.

“You just locked the door,” she said. “What’s that about?”

“Just hospital procedure when there’s a disturbance. Nurse Herrick came back. Do you need anything else?”

“I’m all right for now.”

Stacie thought he seemed distracted, and she was about to ask him what was wrong, but he was already up again, heading toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m thirsty now.” He smiled, but there was anxiety in his eyes. She’d seen this before—his strong face. Hiding pain with a smile. God forbid anyone ever think a minister could have a hard day, a sleepless night.

“They had some apple juice in the Fridge,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

Adam

ADAM came up behind Nurse Herrick at the entrance to the maternity ward. The double doors were closed, and she was kneeling, fighting to slide a lock into the floor.

He stepped up to one of the small, square windows at eye level and stared down the corridor on the other side of the door.

Empty.

Nothing moving.

Linoleum floor shining dully under the ceiling panels of fluorescent light.

“Please don’t mention this to my wife.”

“You haven’t told her anything?”

“Just that there was a disturbance and we’re on a mandatory lockdown. Have you informed the other patients on the wing?”

“Yes. Well, sort of. I told them there was an outbreak in the ER, and we all have to stay put until help arrives.”

“How many in this wing at the moment?”

“I have a single mother who’s alone in her room.”

“So it’s only the four of us?”

“Yes.”

Adam pushed the deadbolts up into the ceiling and glanced once more out the window before turning to Nurse Herrick.

“Can you deliver our baby?” he asked. “If the time comes and there’s no doctor?”

“Yes.” She wiped her eyes, crying again. “I’m sorry.” Her hands had begun to shake.

“What exactly did you see down there, Carla?”

“I can’t…”

“Do you want me to pray with you?”

She nodded, and Adam took her hands in his, had just opened his mouth when a scream came rushing up the corridor beyond the doors.

It didn’t sound human.

Felt like someone had run a cold finger down Adam’s spine and he took an involuntary step back.

“What’s out there, Carla?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can these doors stop it?”

“I don’t know.”

A thunderous succession of gunshots splintered the silence several floors below.

Adam stepped toward the window in the door.

The view through the single square foot of glass was of a long corridor that extended for a hundred and fifty feet to a sitting area.

One of the fluorescent lights halfway down had begun to flicker.

A figure appeared at the far end, turned the corner, and sprinted up the corridor toward the double doors—a woman in black scrubs and white tennis shoes, her curly brown hair pulled back in a scrunchie.

Adam could hear her crying and gasping, and she’d covered twenty strides when three others ripped around the corner in pursuit, chasing her, fast and low to the ground like pit bulls.

Carla whispered, “Oh God, that’s Pam from Radiology.”

Three seconds, and they were upon her, bringing her down in a violent tackle under that flickering light, the woman screaming, pleading for them to stop.

“We have to help her,” Adam said, reaching up to retract the top lock.

The nurse grabbed his arm.

“There’s nothing we can do.”

And they stood watching through the windows as two of the creatures held Pam from radiology down while a third swiped a bone-white talon through her jugular.

A stream of dark blood rushed out across the floor and they screeched and descended upon it, lapping it up off the linoleum with a ravenous intensity as their prey’s twitches became more sluggish.

“Dear God in heaven,” Adam said.

The creatures fastidiously sucked up every drop of blood, their long, black tongues digging into the crevices between linoleum tiles.

They had human hair and human clothes, but there the similarity ended, their faces literally exploding with prehistorically savage teeth and their hands deformed into talon-like claws.

The blood was gone, like someone had spit-shined the linoleum to a high-gloss sheen, and then one of the creatures looked up, down the length of the corridor toward the maternity wing.

Adam grabbed Carla’s arm, pulled her down.

Too late—footsteps already on the way, claws clicking across the floor.

Adam and Carla plastered themselves against the door as something bumped against the other side.

Adam craned his neck and looked up, saw a nightmare face peering through the window.

He whispered under his breath, The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not—

Something crashed into the door, set the bolts rattling in their housings.

Five seconds elapsed.

Adam’s heart slamming in his chest.

It came again—twice as hard, enough force to jar them both onto the floor.

Adam reached into his shirt, came suddenly to his feet, knees like jelly, but he spun around, despite the fear, and held up a small gold cross his father had given him on the day he’d graduated from seminary.

The monster running toward the door pulled up short two inches from the glass.

Its head tilted to the side—a fleeting moment of curiosity as its breath fogged the bloodied window.

Adam pressed the cross against the glass and spoke with as much authority as he could muster, “By the power of Jesus Christ—”

The talon that punched through came within a half-second of driving into Adam’s eye socket, but he parried out of the way, the thing screaming now, trying to climb through the square foot opening, jagged glass slicing into its head, but the moment the blood began to flow, the creature was sucked back out of the window.

The two others ripped it apart amid a chorus of screams, took less than a minute for them to fully exsanguinate the creature.

When they’d finished, they crouched motionless for a moment, as if briefly at peace with the glut of blood filling their stomachs.

One of them turned and looked at Adam and Carla. It stood, then ambled over, stopping ten feet away. It wore a knee-length, floral-print dress, its blond hair still pinned up with silver barrettes.

Adam realized its black eyes weren’t looking at them. They were studying the doors, the locking mechanisms.

At length, it turned away from them, cried out to its companion, and the two monsters loped back down the corridor.

Adam looked over at Carla when they had disappeared around the corner at the far end.

“We have to barricade this door.”

He turned to head back toward the nurses’ station, but stopped in his tracks.

Stacie stood twenty feet away in her hospital gown, hands cupped around her enormous belly, a look of pure horror on her face.

Clay

“SHERIFF, Lanz wasn’t kidding. There’s a bunch of monsters in the hospital.”

He stood by the open rear of his Suburban with his cell pressed against his ear. He’d thought a few moments before making the call. Decided not to say that formerly normal people were turning into those monsters. First he had to get the sheriff on board with the simple existence of the monsters.

“Okay, Clay,” the sheriff said. “I know it’s your weekend off, so it’s okay if you started drinking early, but—”

“Sheriff, I just blew three heads off. And they were not—I repeat, not human heads. The ER looks like a slaughterhouse and Lanz is nowhere in sight.”

“Not even a nurse around?”

“Not a live one.”

“Where’s hospital security?”

“Dead.”

He decided not to mention that he was the cause of their passing.

A long silence on the other end, then, “You’re not shittin’ me? You better not be shittin’ me, Clay.”

“I’m telling you I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. I think you need the National Guard, or staties at the very least.”

“No staties.”

Clay clenched his teeth. This was no time to get territorial. Something was going on. He was sure that nurse hadn’t shown up for work looking like that. He’d seen enough vampire and zombie movies to know that if you get bit you turn into one. That seemed to be what was happening here. And that meant more monsters were running loose inside—with Shanna.

Shit, what if she got herself bit?

“Sheriff, just send help, okay?”

“I’ll free up somebody—”

“Somebody?” he shouted. “We don’t need somebody, we need a fucking platoon—a full company. The people in that hospital are in deep shit, sheriff. You send in the troops. You send in the fucking cavalry!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll call in the staties. But this better be worth it. I’m trusting you, Clay. Meanwhile, you’ll stay?”

“Not a problem.”

“I love when you say that. Just hang around outside until—”

“That will be a problem, sir.”

“What do you mean?”

“Shanna’s inside.”

“Oh, shit. Just wait where you are and—”

“I’m going back in.”

“Wait—”

“Bye, sir.”

He ended the call and slipped the duffel bag’s strap onto his shoulder.

The bag weighed a freaking ton. Clay could feel his collarbone bending under its weight as he walked toward the ER. Well, why not? It held just about everything he’d been working on since last year’s show—all his new pieces and the ones he’d been modifying. They’d been on their way to the Denver convention where he’d planned to show them off and demo a few. Now it looked like he was going to have to put some of them to use.

He had to admit he was excited about this. No, scratch that—he was ecstatic. He had murderous, blood-thirsty monsters to fight. He could throw anything he wanted at them and it was all good. If only Shanna were back home and out of harm’s way, this would be perfect. This had a gun show beat to shit.

He had an old friend and a new piece out and ready. His lovely lady, Alice, the nickel-plated Taurus Raging Bull .454 Casull revolver he’d owned for years, was loaded with Cor-Bon 300-grain JSP flat heads. The .454 Casull could take down a cape buffalo. These babies had a muzzle speed of 1800 feet per second and kicked like the devil himself. He stashed Alice in his belt.

In hand was the newbie, an AA-12 automatic shotgun. Its drum was loaded with thirty-two three-and-a-half inch twelve-gauge shells loaded with #2 titanium alloy shot. He could shoot one round at a time or hold down the trigger and fire at a rate of 300 per minute. A true street sweeper.

It might have to become an ER sweeper.

He stopped inside the doors and looked around. Everything seemed quiet and still—no, wait…

The patient on the stretcher, an elderly, gray-haired woman, was writhing under the safety straps, hissing and spitting teeth. Shit, where were the two EMTs who’d been dead on the floor a few minutes ago?

Suddenly the patient sat up, ripping through the straps. Clay watched, fascinated, as those unreal teeth shredded her wrinkled lips. He hesitated. A little old lady…someone’s granma. But as the teeth sprouted further and talons popped out of her fingertips, he realized this lady would eat her grandchildren without a second thought.

Holding the AA-12 chest high with the stock clamped under his arm, he let fly a round. The number-two shot took off most of her face and slammed her back on the stretcher.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

But then she began to rise again.

“Crap!”

His second shot knocked her flat again and left only her lower jaw hanging, swinging from one hinge. This time she was down to stay.

“Sorry, granma”—and he truly was—”but you weren’t granma anymore.”

His ears were ringing from the loud reports. He always wore ear protectors on the range and had a set in the duffel, but didn’t dare wear them now. He needed to hear these things coming. The racket must have attracted attention. A bloody blond guy in a softball uniform was stumbling toward him with only half the usual complement of talons because he had only half a left arm.

Took two head shots to stop him.

And then a second softball player—bearded with a black eye—lurched around the corner and charged him. He took three rounds.

Toughest damn sonsabitches to kill. He had only 25 shells left in the AA-12’s drum and it was taking two or three shots each to put these monsters down. He hoped there weren’t too many more. He’d brought a shitload of ammo, but not an endless supply.

But what a weapon. He was firing major shot with barely any recoil.

He scoured the ER—all the treatment areas and the wide-open supply room. All clear. He could move on. But how was he going to locate Shanna? He checked his cell and got no service. The in-house lines were useless if he didn’t know what extension she was near.

He moved toward the doors to the hospital proper but stopped just before he pushed through. Anything could be waiting on the other side—a whole army of monsters.

He placed his duffel on the nurse’s station counter, then stepped back toward the entrance where he grabbed granma’s stretcher. He got behind it and started pushing it toward the door. Hard to get traction in the congealing blood all over the floor but he wheeled through it and had built up decent speed when he rammed it through the double doors.

All hell broke loose.

Half a dozen monsters leaped onto the stretcher, tearing at its occupant in a wild, hissing frenzy that lasted all of maybe twenty seconds. They soon realized she was dead and looked around for a new victim.

Clay was already backpedaling when they spotted him. They charged and bunched up at the doorway on either side of the stretcher, elbowing and clawing at each other to be first through. This slowed them—not much, but enough to let Clay put some distance between him and them. He set his feet and raised the AA-12 to his shoulder. He sighted down the barrel, pulled the trigger, and kept it pulled.

The AA-12 went to full auto then, firing five rounds a second. He sprayed back and forth, two quick passes, left and right at first, and then more deliberate, aiming for the heads, watching them explode. The drum emptied quickly, but during those five seconds he shredded those monsters, all six of them. They went down and stayed down, leaving the doors, the walls, the ceiling, the stretcher dripping blood and brains.

He’d done it. Wiped them out. All of them.

Well, all except one. A guy in a torn-up bloody suit with the back of his head gone was trying to crawl toward him.

Clay watched him and couldn’t resist: “I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire thirty-two shots or only thirty-one?’ Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself.’ “

He was reaching for the Taurus when two more of the damn things appeared in the doorway and charged him.

“Shit!”

Not trusting a hurried shot with the kind of kick a Casull delivered, Clay turned and ran for the supply room. Slipped and almost went down as he tried to grab his duffel from the counter. Missed the handle but kept on going. They were right on his tail. He could hear their hissing, could almost feel their talons slashing the air at the nape of his neck.

How many of these things were there? Had the whole hospital turned? Weren’t there any humans left?

What about Shanna?

He ducked into the supply room and whipped the door closed behind him. Almost closed. One of the things managed to shove its hand through. The door caught its wrist. Clay heard bones crunch as he threw his weight against the door. More weight hit from the other side, pushing it open a few more inches.

Needed a wedge, or something to block it. A metal shelf behind him. He grabbed it and pulled it toward him. He ducked aside as it crashed against the door, sending bandages and bottles of disinfectant smashing to the floor—but not before the thing shoved its arm and shoulder through.

Clay stayed out of reach of the slashing talons as the thing gnashed its awful teeth and hissed. It wore a jacket with the emblem of the ambulance outside. One of the formerly dead EMTs. He saw a second one right behind it, trying to push its pal through the opening. That gave him in idea.

He pulled out Alice. Only half a dozen rounds in the Raging Bull, but they were .454 Casulls. He aimed between the eyes of the lead monster and squeezed off a round. The report was like a punch in this small room, and the kick damn near sprained his wrist, but when he looked, the doorway was empty. Cautiously, he peeked through and saw both monsters on the ground, both with holes through their foreheads and enormous exit wounds.

“A two-fer! Awriiight, Alice!”

He wished someone was around for a high five, or at least a knuckle bump. So he settled for kissing Alice.

“There’s my good girl. You’re the best.”

Then he noticed the first one twitching.

Aw, not again. He wasn’t going to get up, was he?

No. The twitching stopped and it lay still.

He spotted the phone at the nursing station and had an idea. But first…

He grabbed his duffel from the counter, locked himself in the supply room, and began to reload the AA-12’s drum.

Jenny

“EVERYONE!” Jenny said. “I need everyone’s attention! I want all of us to move away from the window, to the other side of the playroom. Now.”

The hallway—just beyond the room-length finger-painted window—was filled with draculas.

Freakin’ filled.

They’d run up en masse after sounds of firecrackers came from the lower floors. Jenny guessed it hadn’t been fireworks, but rather gunshots. These monsters seemed to have been retreating, but stopped when they’d caught sight of the children through the window.

At least eight of them. Maybe ten. Clawing at the glass, pressing against it, knocking on it. Some smeared blood and bits of gore across the surface, while others fell into line to lick the blood up with spongy, misshapen tongues and thick, ropey strands of saliva. Saliva right out of that movie Randall loved to watch over and over again. Aliens, with Sigourney Weaver.

“You kinda look like Sigourney Weaver,” he’d told her, every time he played that VHS tape. “Cept you got better boobs.”

As the children gathered around her, Jenny wondered where Randall was. She hoped he was okay. She also hoped that once he found the little girl, he wouldn’t try to bring her back here. Too many of those things out there. Even her husband, whom Jenny thought was damn near indestructible, wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Will they break the glass?” Peter asked.

“No,” Jenny answered firmly.

But that’s what she feared, and why she ordered everyone away. The glass was thick—a necessity in the children’s ward—and would be tough to crack bare-handed. These creatures were strong, but so far the glass had resisted their pushing and pounding.

If they did get in, Jenny needed a weapon. Preferably one like Sigourney had in that film. Keeping her eyes on the window, she walked over to the old woman, the one who’d thrown up. The stains on her dentures and fingers were telltale signs of a smoker.

“I need your lighter,” Jenny told her.

The woman didn’t answer. She just stared, wide-eyed, at the window. The draculas continued to knock and pound at the glass. Some bit at it, their teeth leaving scratches with the sound of nails across a chalkboard.

The boy holding the old woman’s hand nudged her. “Grandma, the nurse lady needs your lighter.”

The old woman stared at the child like she had just now realized he was there. Then, without a word, she handed her purse to Jenny. Jenny dug around until she found it; a cheap, plastic disposable brand. She flicked it once, and the flame came on big and bright.

She heard a CRUNCH, followed by squeals of fright from the children. Jenny stared at the window and saw that one of the monsters had picked up an office chair and was bashing it against the glass. Jenny didn’t even need to read the dracula’s nametag on its lab coat to know who it was. She recognized the hair.

Dr. Lanz.

After the second hit, the window spiderwebbed, but stayed intact. It had a plastic safety coating, similar to the one used on car windshields, so children throwing toys wouldn’t get showered with shards.

Lanz tried twice more, but the glass held. His eyes met Jenny’s, and his toothy mouth yawed open, a hiss escaping the crosshatched fangs. He tossed the chair aside and scurried off, probably to look for something bigger to throw at the window.

Moving quickly, Jenny went into the supply closet Randall had gotten open. She immediately zeroed in on a portable oxygen tank. It was the large MM size, brushed aluminum with a painted green top, almost the size of a scuba tank. A good start, but she needed more. Contrary to popular belief, pure oxygen wasn’t flammable.

Luckily, the hospital had something that was very flammable. And it was stored in the same closet as the oxygen.

Jenny walked past the medical supplies to the extra stock for the coffee machine at the nurse’s station. She bypassed the packages of regular and decaf, the filters, and the sugar, and took down a full box of non-dairy creamer. Twelve bottles, 15 oz. of powder per bottle. Enough to set a whole building on fire.

Finally, she found some rubber tubing, a large cannula, and a bottle of rubber cement.

Working quickly, Jenny removed the caps from all twelve creamer bottles. A plastic seal covered the opening, keeping the product fresh. She applied a big dollop of rubber cement to the top of each, and set the box next to the doorway.

Next, she hooked the cannula—a large, metal tube with a pointed tip—up to one end of the hose. After pulling over the oxygen tank on a hand truck, she attached the other end of the hose to the nozzle, and pulled the toggle lever to give it a try. O2 hissed out of the cannula, strong enough to blow her hair back.

“Miss! I need your help,” Jenny said.

But the old woman, like the other adult in the room, appeared to be catatonic.

CRACK!

Dr. Lanz had returned, resuming his assault on the window. But rather than attack it with a chair, he was now wielding a fire extinguisher. It was heavy, compact, and would easily break through the glass in another swing or two.

Jenny patted her pockets, frantic, afraid she’d misplaced the lighter. She found it in her hip pocket.

CRACK!

Jenny studied the lighter, and frowned when she saw it had one of those child-proof locks on it.

CRACK! Some glass tinkled onto the tile floor, a medium-size hole appearing in the window.

“Quickly! Can any of you children operate a child-proof lighter?”

Every child raised their hand.

“Peter!” she said, calling the oldest of them. “Come here!”

CRACK!

The hole was now big enough to crawl through, and one of the draculas got ahead of Lanz and forced itself through the opening, sliding on its belly into the playroom.

“Light the tops like this!” Jenny ordered, bending down and touching the flame to the rubber cement on the first bottle of creamer. It glowed blue, and Jenny picked up the bottle, jabbed the cannula through the plastic bottom, and then pointed it at the creature scrambling on all fours toward her.

“Everyone get back!”

She cranked the nozzle, the compressed air blowing the front off the bottle, showering the dracula with white powder.

A moment later, the powder ignited in a tremendous fireball, the powerful WHUMP! hitting Jenny with a blast of heated air that burned off all the fine little hairs on her arms.

The dracula fared much worse. Every square inch of it was throwing off flames. It twisted around on the floor, slapping at the inferno it had become, oily black smoke swirling up into the air and smelling a lot like bacon cooking.

Bacon, with a hint of artificial vanilla.

Thank you, Mythbusters.

Jenny turned off the oxygen. While non dairy creamer had nothing in it that made it flammable, it was a fine powder, and many powders were ignitable simply because they had such a huge surface area. Flour, sawdust, dust in grain silos—they’d caused countless fires and explosions throughout history. The oxygen worked as an accelerant, and also dispersed the powder so it spread evenly through the air.

“Light the next one, Peter!”

Jenny knocked off the smoking, melted plastic container from the end of the cannula, and jammed on a burning one just as Dr. Lanz flopped into the playroom.

“Now you’re fired, Lanz!” Jenny yelled. Then she hit him with her makeshift flamethrower, dusting the doctor in a cloud of powder.

But at the same time, Lanz had emptied his extinguisher, putting out the flame before it had a chance to ignite the cloud of creamer enveloping him.

Son of a—

Snarling, Dr. Lanz rushed at Jenny, far too quick for her to prep another creamer bottle, his hideous mouth unhinging at the jaw and a look of smug satisfaction in his predatory eyes.

Jenny threw herself backward, Lanz’s claw swiping the air a few inches in front of her face. A cloud of sweet-smelling vanilla non-dairy creamer floated above his head and shoulders, and a ropey line of drool escaped his cage of teeth, dripping down his neck.

“Die, you monster! Die!”

Peter Bernacky, his teenage face defiant, stuck his arm into the dust plume, his hand on the lighter.

“Peter! Don’t—”

The flash blinded Jenny, a wave of superheated air sunburning her face and bare arms, singeing her eyebrows, instantly drying out her mouth.

Both Lanz and Peter instantly burst into flames. Lanz scurried away, still holding the extinguisher, turning it on himself and dousing the fire as he fled back through the hole he’d made in the window.

Peter screamed, but the sound was instantly muffled by the flame entering his lungs. He staggered away from Jenny, arms pin-wheeling, heading straight for the grandmother with the dentures.

She tried to push him back, but Peter wrapped his arms around her, setting her clothes ablaze. They did a burning dance for several steps, then fell over in a tangle of screams and flailing limbs and burning flesh.

The sprinkler finally came on, dousing the pair, and Jenny turned her attention toward the broken window as another dracula climbed through. She charged it with the cannula, pulling it free from the oxygen tank, and spearing the creature through its left eye. The monster hissed, blood and bits of brain matter spraying out of the hollow end, arcing across the playroom, and landing directly in the mouth of the catatonic woman who’d been watching the entire scene unfold with her jaw hanging open.

Children screamed. Flesh sizzled and popped. Jenny cast a frantic look around, seeking a weapon as the dracula flopped through the window, crashing at her feet where he squirmed and undulated like a landed swordfish. Jenny looked up as another dracula snaked into the opening. But rather than attack her, it pounced on the other creature, positioning its mouth over the fountain of blood and tissue pumping through the cannula, and locking its lips around it like a drinking straw.

Jenny spotted the oxygen tank through the steam and hefted it, adrenalin giving her the strength to lift the eighty-plus pounds. She slammed it onto the new intruder’s skull, driving it to the floor, squashing it like a stomped pumpkin. Then she hoisted the tank again and pancaked the monster with the cannula eyestalk.

Another dracula slid in through the window. Then another. They descended upon their fallen comrades, chewing and tearing and lapping up the gore.

We need to get the hell out of here. Now.

“Everyone! Come on!”

There weren’t many left to follow her order. The grandmother was down on the floor, convulsing. The mother was keeled over, throwing up. Most of Peter’s hair had burned off, his eyelids and nose were scorched away, and he was blessedly still. That left five children. Three listened, running to Jenny’s side. The son of the vomiting mother stood there, eyes wide, immobile. The grandson had curled up fetal, hugging his knees into his chest.

“Into the storage closet!” Jenny yelled.

Then she grabbed the shirt collar of the boy on the floor and tugged him away from his grandmother, dragging him to the closet. She turned to go back for the other boy, but more draculas had infiltrated the playroom, and they were tearing through the rest of them like a piranha tornado. Forcing herself to back away from the slaughter, cursing herself for not being able to do more, Jenny grabbed the storage room door and slammed it closed, hoping that whatever Randall had done to open it hadn’t damaged the lock.

She gave it a cautious push, saw that it held, then watched through the small, square window as the creatures turned the playroom into a blood buffet. Horrified, yet fascinated, she couldn’t help but wonder how they could drink so much. She squinted at one of them, gorging until its belly distended to practically bursting, like a pregnancy that had lasted twenty months.

But only seconds after it stopped feeding, its belly began to shrink.

Once again she thought of Randall and his old horror movies. One of his favorites was actually relevant to their current situation. The Killer Shrews, a black and white cheapie infamous for dressing up dogs as the titular rodent monsters. The film’s heroes were trapped in a house, the bloodthirsty shrews everywhere, clawing to get inside and devour them. Like their diminutive counterparts, the shrews had to eat ninety percent of their body weight every day, or else they’d starve—a byproduct of their hyper-metabolism.

Apparently, the draculas also functioned at a highly increased metabolic rate, which explained why Jenny and the others had been able to get to the closet without being slaughtered. These creatures had to eat constantly, and they took the path of least resistance to do so. So they’d leapt upon the dead and dying, the small and weak, even if the injured were other draculas.

Jenny tore herself away from the spectacle and tried to focus on what needed to be done. First, barricade the door. Next, look for weapons. Then attend to the wounded.

But even though she was trained for emergencies, Jenny found herself paralyzed by worry.

Strangely, it wasn’t fear for herself, or the people she was with.

It was for her husband.

Please, please, please, God, let him be okay.

Lanz

DR. Lanz tore at his face, the burned flesh coming off in strips. The pain was unbearable, but not as overwhelming as the heavenly odor of his fried skin. Hunger pangs doubled him over, the agony even worse than the fire damage, and Lanz momentarily lost his self-control and began shoving his own toasted flesh into his mouth, including a walnut-size chunk that was quite possibly his nose.

Jenny.

That bitch nurse Jenny had done this to him. Jumbled as his thoughts were becoming, Lanz could still recall firing her ass. She’d had the audacity to question one of his treatments—right in front of the patient and the other nurses. Granted, he’d been a little coked up at the time and had inadvertently prescribed penicillin to someone who had an allergy, but he couldn’t allow that kind of blatant insubordination. Not in his ER.

The bloody nurses’ union tried to fight him on it, but Lanz had ultimately prevailed by threatening to walk. A bluff, but he knew the hospital needed him more than it needed some know-it-all nurse.

But she’d gotten back at Lanz. She’d burned him good.

No matter. Even as he peeled off his face and neck and shoved them into his toothy maw, he could feel the skin regenerating, regrowing.

I’m invincible. You think you can stop me, Nurse Bolton? I know how to deal with your insubordinate ass.

Gliding down the stairs, Lanz reached the basement. He’d brought Winslow down here a few times, let her blow him near the furnace. Even with the lights off, Lanz’s vision was perfect. Yet another enhancement, courtesy of the virus. He hurried past the boilers, chewing on the charred flesh of his right hand, until he found what he sought.

The circuit breaker.

I can see in the dark, Nurse Bolton. Can you?

Randall

“HEY, kid!” Randall shouted. “Little girl!”

Crap! He limped down the hallway after her, cursing silently with each step. He couldn’t blame a five-year-old kid for freaking out, and yet…okay, maybe he could. She was going to get both of them killed. If his leg wasn’t so messed up he could’ve scooped her up in about three seconds, but she was already halfway down the hall, sobbing and screaming as she ran.

“Little girl!” he repeated, trying to use his friendliest tone of voice. “It’s going to be okay! I can keep you safe!” Also, little girl, there’s a Santa Claus and an Easter Bunny and a Tooth Fairy.

He wasn’t going to let her get eaten. No way in hell. He was going to return to Jenny with a safe little girl on his shoulders, no matter how many draculas he had to splatter to do it.

Though she was a fast little fucker, his legs were a lot longer, and he’d almost caught up to her by the time she rounded the corner. She darted into an open doorway, then screamed. Randall limped in after her.

He was in an office. A pretty nice one. Clearly the guy who used it worked with numbers instead of patients. Randall thought that might be him behind the desk, a bald middle-aged man with a dracula chewing on his neck.

The dracula’s face was buried in its meal, and it didn’t see them. Randall grabbed the little girl’s hand and tugged her back out into the hallway…

…where six or seven creatures emerged around the far corner. Randall yanked the little girl back into the office and slammed the door shut.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

The dracula twisted its head and looked over at him, its mouth so laden with gore that Randall could barely see its fangs. It regarded him for a moment, then slammed its mouth back onto the number-cruncher’s wound.

So they weren’t homicidal. Just…hungry.

The door had a push-button lock on it. Randall quickly locked it but didn’t feel all that much safer. He had no idea if those things in the hallway would come after him or not.

“It’s okay,” he told the little girl. “They can’t break down a door.”

He was saying that based on absolutely no proof. For all he knew, they were wandering around the hospital kicking down doors left and right. The little girl seemed to have gone from pure panic to frozen terror, which made things a little easier for him. He hoped her mind wasn’t permanently damaged.

Randall still didn’t know much about how these things behaved, but he figured this one was unlikely to finish guzzling the blood and then settle down for a long nap. He had to take the offensive instead of waiting for it to come after them.

Damn, he wished he still had his hatchet. Though the chainsaw had worked nicely before, it really wasn’t intended to be used as a club, and he didn’t want to ruin it before he had the opportunity to find some gas. He’d have to think smaller.

Screwdriver through the back of the head? That should do it.

He set the chainsaw on the floor and pulled the screwdriver out of his belt.

What if the change was only temporary? Randall hadn’t felt any guilt about slaughtering the other monsters, but what if they could be saved? What if the dracula that was slurping blood right in front of him was a nice guy, with a wife and two kids at home, and this change—this horrific creature he had become—was reversible? Didn’t that make Randall a murderer?

A fountain of crimson jettisoned from the office man’s neck as the dracula opened a new vein. The dracula lapped at it greedily, letting it spray all over its face. Randall decided that he’d rather have a bothered conscience than his own body parts strewn across the hospital.

“Close your eyes,” Randall told the little girl.

She squeezed them shut immediately. Good. She was still hearing him, at least.

Randall slowly walked over to the desk, clutching the screwdriver in his fist, looking for the best place to jam it. Probably the forehead. The dracula seemed aware of his approach, but was apparently not concerned enough about the threat to risk losing some of that scrumptious blood. What was the appeal?

The dracula made a soft, almost inaudible sound, like a lion protecting its kill. It thinks I’m gonna steal its dinner.

It was time to move fast. Randall stepped forward…and his leg, which he’d abused so relentlessly this evening, finally couldn’t take it anymore. It twisted, popping some more stitches, and Randall hit the floor, several trickles of blood streaming from his calf. He gritted his teeth and winced but didn’t scream.

The dracula pounced.

Randall swung the screwdriver at it, bashing it in the fangs. Unfortunately, none of them broke off. The screwdriver popped out of his hand and fell to the floor.

The dracula, jaws open wide, jerked its head toward him. Randall punched it between the eyes, knocking a spray of blood out of the side of its mouth—the number cruncher’s blood that it hadn’t swallowed yet.

He slammed his hand against the creature’s neck and held it tight, trying to keep its jaws away from his flesh. Some droplets of blood fell from its fangs and pattered onto his cheek. Shit! What if it was infectious? He pressed his lips together as tightly as he could and prayed that none of it would drip into his eyes.

He squeezed its neck with one hand while feeling around for the screwdriver with the other. He’d seen this trick work remarkably well in a zombie movie, although in that case the guy had actually been able to find the goddamn screwdriver! Where had the stupid thing gone? It’s not like it was round and would’ve rolled away!

A large drop of blood hit his lips.

Forget the screwdriver. He reached for his belt and grabbed the first thing he touched: a pair of pliers. He opened the pincers, pounded them against the creature’s throat, and squeezed them shut. Then he yanked, tearing off a chunk of the dracula’s neck. A shower of blood poured down upon him.

He did it again, getting one half of the pliers into the hole he’d just created, and tearing off an even larger strip.

The dracula flailed and spasmed and helplessly clawed at its throat but remained very much alive.

Randall ripped out two more pieces of its neck. Then he bashed it in the nose.

It struggled quite a bit less now.

After the next chunk, the dracula gave up the fight. Its lifeless body collapsed on Randall. He rolled it off him and pushed himself up to a seated position.

He had blood all over his face, but none seemed to have gotten into any orifices as far as he could tell. He at least wasn’t snorting blood. He lifted his gown and used it to mop off his face, although it was difficult to find a part of the gown that wasn’t already wet.

He couldn’t feel too bad for the creature. Even if it could revert to human, its face would be all mutilated from where the teeth broke through. Nobody would want to live like that.

The little girl stared at him, unmoving.

The man at the desk moaned.

No fucking way…

Randall grabbed the top of the desk and used it as leverage to push himself up. His injured leg really didn’t like that. He shoved the pain out of his mind.

“Help me…” said the man. How was he still alive? Randall was probably the least qualified person in the entire building to make such a diagnosis, but he figured the man had a minute left to live, tops. “Get me to…” The man paused to cough up some blood.

“I don’t think I can help you,” Randall said, feeling absolutely sick to his stomach.

“Get me to surgery,” the man whispered. “I can do it. I just need you to take me there.”

Even regular surgery wasn’t going to help him, much less self-performed surgery. “I can’t,” said Randall. “My leg is ruined. I can’t carry you.”

“Please…”

“I can’t. I would if I could, I swear, but there’s nothing I can do for you.” Randall knew he should lie to him—the man was a goner anyway—but he just couldn’t bring himself to do that.

The man stared at him with dying eyes. “You’re going…to burn in hell.”

Randall watched helplessly as his eyes went blank.

What kind of asshole would do that to somebody? Randall had no time for guilt; he had to focus on the person he could actually save.

He looked over at the little girl. She recoiled.

Why was she scared of him?

Oh, yeah. He was a giant-sized blood-soaked man in a hospital gown who’d ripped the neck out of a monster with a pair of pliers. Her fear was justified.

“What’s your name?” he asked, again trying to use his kid-friendly voice.

She didn’t answer.

“I’m Randall.” He set the bloody pliers down on the desk, hoping that might help. Even though it hurt, he got down on one knee, bringing himself closer to her level. “I’m a lumberjack. Do you know what that is?”

She just stared at him.

“Do you know Paul Bunyan?”

She nodded. Randall smiled.

“I’m not Paul Bunyan, but I’m one of his friends. He’s a good guy. Have you heard of Babe?”

“His blue ox?”

“Yeah. I get to ride him sometimes. Now, Paul gets really mad if his fellow lumberjacks let little girls get hurt on their watch, so I promise you that if you listen to me and do what I say, I’m going to protect you from the monsters, okay?”

“Okay.”

“What’s your name?”

“Tina.”

Tina. That’s what Randall had wanted to name his daughter, if he and Jenny ever had one.

Well, okay, it was one of about fifty names that he’d considered. Not a huge coincidence. But still…

He stood up again, promising himself that if he lived through this he’d spend the next five years on a beach not moving his leg at all.

A peek through the tiny window in the door didn’t offer a wide view of the hallway, but at least there were no draculas in the immediate vicinity. Had the others just moved on past, or were they still there and just out of his viewing range?

The lights went out.

Tina made a single, high-pitched scream.

And then came a sound on the other side of the door.

Squeak, squeak, squeak…

Shanna

THINK!

Shanna paced the perimeter of the chapel—the Catholic chapel. Blessed Crucifixion had two. One non-denom and, since the hospital was run by nuns, the other Catholic. Very Catholic. This one ran slightly longer than wide with about a dozen folding chairs set up in three rows. Crucifixes, stained glass windows—fake, illuminated with fluorescents behind them—and even the Stations of the Cross. The whole enchilada.

Shanna wasn’t Catholic, wasn’t much of anything as far as religion went, but for the first time in her life she was taking comfort in depictions of some poor man suffering horrific torture.

Maybe it was because of seeing Mortimer down in the lobby—or rather, what he’d become. She’d barely escaped with her life. But she couldn’t get the image of his face out of her mind.

He looked just like the “Dracula skull” that he’d jabbed into his throat.

And the Dracula part had driven her to seek the company of crucifixes.

Irrational? Absolutely. Comforting? Absolutely.

She slowed her speeding, panicked thoughts and forced her brain into analytical mode. Take it in order:

1) Mortimer had received the “Dracula skull.”

2) Mortimer had stabbed himself—deliberately, it seemed—with the skull’s fangs.

3) He had been brought to the hospital.

4) Shortly thereafter she’d seen a blood-soaked man in Mortimer’s pants and belt but with a head identical to the Dracula skull.

5) Ernie’s head had been removed from his body.

The only conclusion she could draw from what she knew was that Mortimer had changed into some sort of murderous creature and that the blood all over him was Ernie’s.

Huh?

Come on, Shanna. That’s horror-movie stuff.

Obviously it wasn’t the only possible scenario—she could be the mark in one of those hidden-camera spoof shows, but somehow she didn’t see Blessed Crucifixion going along with that.

No, as bizarre and way out and insane as it seemed, that was the only scenario that fit all the facts.

Something supernatural was going on, something to do with vampires, or something like vampires. Maybe the creature that had started all the vampire stories, the wellspring of the legends, had returned. She didn’t know what, or how, or why. And if a vampire was out there, she wanted to be in here, amid crosses and crucifixes and stations of the cross.

Did the police know?

Probably on their way. She’d heard shooting, lots of it, so hospital security must have gotten involved. Probably all over now.

The ER would know. She’d left Jenny there. Maybe she could find a phone and call down. There—one on the wall. She lifted the receiver and pressed the “O” button. After four rings a message came on, telling her that all lines were busy and to please hold. Okay, she’d—

“Shanna? Shanna Davies?”

She dropped the phone and spun. The voice came from the ceiling. She looked at the big crucifix at the far end of the room. Had Jesus just called her name?

“Shanna, if you’re in the hospital and can hear this, please call extension two-seven-nine-four.” It came from the speaker in the ceiling—the hospital paging system. “Shanna Davies call extension two-seven-nine-four.”

Clay’s voice! She never thought she’d ever be this glad to hear that voice. The police were here.

She cut the call to the switchboard and punched in 2794.

“Shanna?”

“Oh, Clay, where are you?”

“The ER. Where are you?”

“The chapel on the second floor. I’m coming down—”

“No-no-no-no! Stay right where you are. I’ll come to you. Stay put. Whatever you do, stay out of the hallways.”

Her gut clenched. Stay put?

“What are you saying? What’s going on?”

“All hell’s broken loose, babe. Monsters everywhere.”

Monsters…more than one?

“What do you—?”

“They’ve got two chapels, as I recall. Which are you in?”

“The Catholic.”

“The doors—do they have loop handles, the kind you could stick something through?”

She looked. One on each.

“Yes.”

“Find something—anything—to stick through them till I get there. Don’t let anyone in but me, and I do mean anyone. Got that?”

“You’re scaring me, Clay.”

“Good. Scared’s a good thing to be right now, considering what’s roaming the halls. You sit tight. I’m on my way.”

Shaken, she hung up.

…considering what’s roaming the halls…monsters everywhere…

That didn’t sound good, not good at all. But it dovetailed with the vampire thing…they created more of themselves. But didn’t you have to die and get buried and rise from the grave to become one? Didn’t it take—?

She heard the elevator open. Clay?

No. No way he could make it from the ER yet.

Don’t let anyone in but me, and I do mean anyone.

She was going to take that to heart—her own picked up its tempo as she looked around. Something to stick through the handles…

Her gaze settled on the crucifix. No, too big. Never get Jesus’s knees through those handles. But the slim cross in the side alcove ran about six feet along the upright.

Perfect.

She hurried over to it and yanked on it, expecting resistance. But it was hung on a nail like a plaque. It came loose and toppled toward her. She tried to hold it up but it over balanced her and she fell backward into the folding chairs with a terrible racket.

No way anyone—or anything—in the hall hadn’t heard that.

The cross had landed atop her. She pushed it off, jumped to her feet, and lugged it toward the doors. This wasn’t some plaster casting, this thing was solid wood, and not light. She’d chosen an academic field to avoid exercise. Now she wished—

She froze for a second. A sound outside…like a hiss? Panic lent her strength, lunging her forward to shove the long end of the upright through the loops of both handles.

“Did it!” she whispered.

Then something hissed and hit the other side of the doors.

Shanna couldn’t help it. She screamed.

And instantly wished she hadn’t because it seemed to incite the thing outside. It slammed its full weight against the doors, moving them inward an inch or so, but the cross held and kept them closed. This seemed to infuriate the thing. It threw itself against the barrier, and she could hear claws gouging the outer surface.

Mortimer…trying to get in?

She backed away from the ferocity of the attack as the thing repeatedly hurled itself against the doors.

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

Didn’t it feel pain? Didn’t it get tired?

And where was Clay?

As the assault continued she noticed a faint diagonal line begin to stretch across the cross’s upright between the door handles. A crack? Oh, no!

She stepped closer. Yes! The wood was breaking under the relentless onslaught. She pressed her own weight against the doors to take the stress off the cross but was knocked back as the thing outside rammed them with shocking force.

She had an awful thought. When Clay did arrive, what could he do? He’d be powerless against that raging thing outside. No, wait. What was she thinking? This was Clay she was worried about. He’d have a gun—Clay always had a gun. But would a gun work against these things?

Meanwhile, she had to fend for herself. She needed to slide the upright farther through the handles so the cracked part was no longer between them. She got a grip on the crosspiece just as the thing rammed the doors with a particularly vicious blow.

That did it. The upright split and the doors flew open, knocking her back. Shanna staggered but didn’t fall. She still had her grip on the cross. She held it up as she looked at the thing.

It wasn’t Mortimer—or rather what Mortimer had become. This one wore a bloody orderly’s uniform. A piece seemed to be missing from its neck. Its skin was cocoa colored but the fangs were the same as the “Dracula skull.”

The thing saw the cross and cringed.

It’s afraid of the cross! Yes!

“Back!” she cried, hoping to drive it out of the chapel.

It looked around and crouched as if the walls and ceiling were closing in on it.

“Out! You chose the wrong place to break into. This is God’s territory. Leave!”

The creature looked again at the cross, then straightened. It gazed at Shanna with its black, black eyes and shook its head. If it had any lips left, it might have smiled.

“No.” She backed away. It had been toying with her. “No, please!”

It leaped—literally flew through the air toward her. She angled the cross to fend it off. The upright had split diagonally along the grain, leaving a ragged point. The creature landed on it, driving Shanna back. This time she did lose her footing, but kept her grip on the crosspiece as she went down. The head of the upright caught on the carpet, and its other end plunged a good foot deep into the creature’s chest.

As the impaled thing hissed and thrashed, Shanna scrambled to her feet and backed away, waiting for it to die. Staked through the heart—that was how you killed vampires, right?

But it didn’t die. Shanna watched in horror as it lifted the cross and tried to pull it out.

“No!” She stepped forward and pushed against the crosspiece. “No way!”

It clawed at her, raking the air in front of her face with its talons, but couldn’t get closer. If it ever connected, her nose and lips would be ripped off.

Now it pushed against the cross, taking her by surprise. She couldn’t hold against its strength. The thing was backing her up. She flashed on what it was up to—trying to pin her against a wall, or better yet, into a corner. Couldn’t let that happen.

She angled them around, keeping open space behind her.

Not so open. The back of her legs hit a chair. She went down. The thing was above her, slashing with its talons.

Through her scream she thought she heard someone shout, “Hey!”

As the thing looked up, a number of things happened almost at once: A black steel tube punched through its fangs into its mouth with a sharp crack, followed almost immediately by a blast that slammed her eardrums; the back of the creature’s head dissolved in a red spray, taking a good deal of the forehead with it, leaving a pair of black eyes with an oddly surprised look.

Shanna held back a surge of bile and shoved against the cross, toppling the creature backward as Deputy Clayton Theel pulled her to her feet and wrapped her in his arms.

“Christ!” she heard him say through the whine in her ears. “If I’d been half a minute later…”

Shanna sobbed as she returned the embrace. She’d never been so glad to see anyone in her life.

“C-C-Clay! Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!”

“Not a problem.”

“What’s happening?”

“I don’t know what they are, Shanna, but they’re multiplying.”

“How many have you seen?”

“I’ve put down fourteen of them already.” He looked at the thing on the floor. “Make that fifteen.”

She pushed back and stared at him. He was carrying that strange-looking, rapid-fire shotgun he’d shown her a couple of weeks ago, and had a huge duffel bag slung from his shoulder.

“Fifteen?”

“Yep. Everything from ER patients to nurses to orderlies to operators.”

Shanna’s insides twisted. They were spreading like wildfire. It seemed impossible. All starting with…

“Was one of those patients you saw Mortimer Moorecook?”

Clay shrugged. “How could I tell? All their faces look the same.”

He had a point.

“He was wearing black slacks with a gold belt buckle.”

“No. Nobody like that. Why?”

“I think he started it all. I think he’s patient zero.”

“What are you talking about?”

She gave Clay a quick rundown of the “Dracula skull” and seeing Mortimer in the lobby.

“You know,” he said, staring at her when she finished, “if I hadn’t seen what I’ve seen in the past thirty minutes, I’d think you were on crack.”

“It’s somehow contagious,” she said, her mind racing. “But is it airborne like a flu, or does it need an open wound?”

“Everybody I put down was bloodied in one way or another.” He pointed to the dead thing on the floor. “Him too. Look at his neck.”

Shanna shot a quick glance, then away. The red-and-gray lumpy spray on the wall behind it made her want to gag.

“Then it’s like HIV.”

Clay looked disgusted. “You mean those things go around raping—?”

“No-no! Bites. Think vampires and werewolves.”

“Oh. Makes sense.”

“But it’s happening so fast.” An awful thought struck. “Do you know what a geometric progression is?”

His mouth twisted. “Would you believe…no?”

“It’s a way an infection can spread to astronomical numbers. Mortimer infects one, and so then there are two infected. If they each infect one more, we’ve got four infected. Then eight, then sixteen. By the fifteenth go-round they’ve infected almost fifty-thousand people. By the twentieth, we’re past the million mark.”

Clay paled. “We can’t let these things out of here.”

She shook her head. “Not even one of them.”

“But you’re getting out of here.”

“How?”

“I’m taking you down to my truck, giving you the key, and you’re driving the hell home.”

That sounded absolutely wonderful. But…

“What about you?”

“Gotta stay till reinforcements arrive. I’ll patrol the outside and contain the perimeter.”

“Just you?”

He shrugged. “Wish I had help, but I don’t see anyone else around to do it, so I guess that leaves me.”

Just like the heroes in those movies he loved to watch—and quote. Was that what he was doing—quoting? If so, she didn’t recognize it. No, this was just Clay, who he was.

“You could get hurt.”

“Yeah, but—”

A hiss from the doorway. They both turned at once to see one of the creatures charging. Almost upon them. Shanna screamed.

Clay fired his auto-shotgun from the hip. Two quick blasts to the chest knocked it back but not down. He raised it to his shoulder. His third shot blew away half its head and it crumbled.

“Gotta get you out of here.”

“I’m all for that.”

But somewhere inside a voice said, You’ll never make it.

“You’re gonna need some heat,” he said.

“Heat?”

“A weapon. A gun.”

“No, I—”

“Don’t argue, Shanna. It can be the difference between life and death.”

She wanted to tell him she hated guns, that they terrified her, but she could see he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

He pulled something big and silvery from his belt.

“This here is Alice. A Taurus Raging—”

“Wait-wait-wait. You named it?”

“Well, sure. She’s special.”

Well, sure…like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“But it’s a woman’s name.”

“Of course.”

“No. Not ‘of course.’ Why a woman’s name?”

He got a sheepish look. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, I do. Humor me.”

“Well, when my daddy was teaching me to shoot he always said never pull the trigger, always squeeze it like…”

“Like what?”

He sighed and looked away. “Like your girlfriend’s tit.”

“Your father said that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“How old were you?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Seven or eight.”

“Did you even have a girlfriend?”

“No, but I gathered he meant slow and easy.”

Note to self: Never meet Clay’s daddy.

“But anyway,” he went on, “Alice is a Taurus Raging Bull, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow a head clean off.”

That sounded familiar, almost like—

“You’re not quoting Dirty Harry, are you?”

He looked sheepish. “Well, not exactly. His was a forty-four Magnum.”

“This isn’t the time for Clint Eastwood fanboy stuff, Clay. Dirty Harry is a made-up character in a movie. This is real.”

He gave her a funny look. “I know that, Shanna. But it…helps, okay? Because I gotta tell you, Harry Callahan seems more real to me right now than what I’ve seen here today.”

She couldn’t argue with that.

He hefted the huge silver pistol. “Alice here fires a heavy-duty, four-fifty-four Casull, even more powerful than Harry’s forty-four Mag.” He held it toward her.

She raised her hands, palms out, shoulder high. “No, I can’t.”

“Just till we get to the truck, okay? Please, Shanna? Just to the truck.”

Well…

“Okay. Just to the truck.”

She took it and it immediately dragged down her arms.

“God, it’s heavy.”

“Make sure you hold her with both hands and get ready for a helluva kick. Wait till you can’t miss and aim for the head. The muzzle velocity of the round is so high it cuts through a skull like paper and the shockwave of the impact purees the brain.”

She couldn’t help making a face. “Lovely.”

“One hit from Alice is enough. Don’t waste them. I didn’t bring many Casulls.”

She raised the pistol with both hands to eye level. So heavy. She wished she’d been working out.

Suddenly a hissing face out of a nightmare, all bloody fangs and tongue and black eyes appeared at the other end of the barrel. Shanna screamed and pulled the trigger. The gun lurched toward the ceiling with such force it toppled her over backward. She almost lost her grip on it but managed to keep hold.

Still screaming she rolled and rose to her knees, ready to fire again, but the thing lay flat on its back in the hall. It had a hole where its nose once resided and a widening halo of red spreading out beneath its skull.

“Great shot!” Clay said, grinning like a proud father.

She stared at the dead creature. “I did that?”

“You sure did! You killed the hell out of that fella!”

That too sounded familiar. “Unforgiven?”

He shrugged. “Sorry.” He helped her to her feet. “You okay?”

“Not sure.”

She stared down at the dead creature. “That fella” wasn’t a fella. It wore a bloodstained maroon pantsuit. She stepped closer and saw the nametag: Marge McGuire.

Shanna felt sick. “That’s Marge from admitting! I had a long sit-down with her when Mortimer was admitted for that possible overdose. She had pictures of her kids on her desk. She…” A sob broke free. “What have I done?”

“It was her or you, Shanna.”

“I killed Marge!”

Clay knelt beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “That wasn’t Marge from admissions anymore. Marge was already gone. You killed something else, something that had taken her over.”

“But her kids—”

“Had already lost their mama. You just kept this thing from fouling her memory by killing you and who knows how many others, and turning them into things like her. You did Marge a favor.”

Clay seemed to understand and was making sense, neither of which she’d expected from him. But she couldn’t take her eyes off the thing Marge had become.

“No need to watch her,” Clay said. “She’s down for good.”

“I’m…I’m just wondering if she’ll change back, now that she’s dead.”

He shook his head. “Wouldn’t hold my breath. Once you become a pickle, you can’t go back to being a cucumber.”

“I feel so bad for her.”

“Us or them, Shanna,” he said. “Who do you want to walk out of here?”

“Us, of course.”

“And who are the attackers here?”

“Them.”

“So we’re going to walk out of here, and along the way we’re going to leave them alone. But if they try to kill us, we need to do what we have to do to protect ourselves—and that means kill them first.”

Yeah…she could see that, but doing it was something else.

He pointed to the Taurus. “I’m sorry she knocked you down.”

She? Oh, the gun.

“It’s okay, Clay.”

“No, it’s not. Alice is too powerful for you.” He took it from her. “I’ll give you my Glock and—”

“And what’s its name? Janet? Sophia? Rhianna?”

He gave her a strange look. “No. It’s just a Glock.”

“But I thought—never mind. I don’t want it.”

“You’ve got to. We’ll—”

She backed away a step. “I said no, Clay, and that’s what I mean: No.”

A mixture of anger and dismay flashed across his features. “You’re making a big mistake.”

“No.”

He sighed. “All right, but—”

The lights went out.

Stacie

SHE stood in the corridor, the floor cold against her bare feet, staring at the blood and glass around the double doors leading into the maternity ward.

Screams—awful, tortured screams—had drawn her out of the room, and now she was staring at Adam who had a look on his face like a seven-year-old boy debating whether to jump off the high dive for the first time.

Nurse Herrick looked even worse, her skin a pale gray, and she’d wet her pants.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

Adam came over, catching himself, reapplying the strong face, but she wasn’t having any of it.

“Darling—”

“No.” She stepped back. “You tell me right now what’s happening. The truth. Every bit of it.”

He stopped in front of her. “Let’s just go back into the room, and you can focus on—”

“No! Stop treating me like a child!”

“All right. All right. These…things…they’re people, or they were, and they’re running through the hospital, killing everyone they see.”

“Why?”

“For blood, I think.”

Nurse Herrick walked over.

“Look,” she said, opening her hand. “One of the teeth broke off when it tried to come through the window.”

Stacie lifted it out of the nurse’s hand.

A two-inch fang.

Still slimy with blood and a pungent-smelling saliva.

“They have a mouthful of these,” Adam said. “And their hands are like a bird of prey’s.”

Stacie turned the fang over in her hand.

She was a biology teacher at the local high school, and she could feel that inquisitive, scientific current coursing through her, despite the horror.

“This is a fang,” she said. “And it’s hollow. See the opening at the end?” She tossed the tooth away. “We should wash our hands. The saliva is probably brimming with neurotoxins. I bet it’s how they transmit the disease.”

She could feel something inside her solidifying, this primal need to be someplace dark, quiet, and warm. It reminded her of her favorite calico she’d had as a little girl. Whenever she was carrying a litter of kittens, Samantha became a different animal altogether. More guarded. More apt to lash out. And when it came time to give birth to the kittens, she always retreated to a corner of the deepest closet in the house.

Three words kept rushing through her brain, on a loop like a stock ticker—This isn’t happening This isn’t happening This isn’t happening This isn’t happening This isn’t happening This isn’t happening

But it was.

And she couldn’t curl up into the fetal position and cry and wish things weren’t the way they were. She had something more important than herself to protect.

“I’m going back to my room now,” she said.

“We’re going to barricade the doors,” Adam said. “I’ll come be with you when we’re done.”

As Stacie started back toward her room, she felt the first rumblings of a new contraction coming on.

Adam

THEY pulled the dressers out of two private rooms and pushed them up against the double doors. Nurse Herrick grabbed several sheets of paper from the printer and stapled them over the square windows.

“There’s no other way in here?” Adam asked. “No stairwell? No—?”

“Just the windows, but we’re three stories up.”

“Do you keep any firearms in this wing?”

She shook her head.

“No weapons or—”

“Nothing. We deliver babies here, Pastor. We bring life into the world.”

“How are we supposed to defend ourselves?”

“I suppose we could check the operating room.”

Scalpels.

Retractors.

Scissors.

Forceps.

Clamps.

It was something, but not much.

“Where are the saws and the drills?” Adam asked, staring at the cold, steel operating table.

“First floor, orthopedics. That’s where all the fun is.”

Adam lifted a small scalpel, tried to imagine defending himself, his wife, his unborn child, from one of those monsters.

“How’ the single-mom-to-be doing?”

“Scared.”

He slipped the scalpel into the side pocket of his jeans.

“Shanna? Shanna Davies?” A twangy, male voice boomed over the hospital paging system. “Shanna, if you’re in the hospital and can hear this, please call extension two-seven-nine-four. Shanna Davies call extension two-seven-nine-four.”

A soft, female voice inside Room 12 said, “Come in.”

Adam smiled and opened the door, left it open as he walked over to the bed where a young woman—nineteen, maybe twenty—sat propped up against a mountain of pillows.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, stopping at the foot of the bed.

She didn’t have to answer. Her face said it all—terrified.

“Are we going to die?” she asked.

He didn’t know how to answer that, so instead he gestured to a chair.

She nodded.

He pulled it over to the side of the bed.

“My wife’s two doors down.”

The girl smiled. “What are you having?”

“We haven’t found out yet. We’re going to let it be a surprise.”

“I’m having a boy.”

“How wonderful. Do you have a name picked out?”

“Tristan. What about you?”

“We’re thinking Matthew if it’s a boy, Daniella if it’s a girl.”

“That’s pretty.”

“I’m Adam, by the way.” He offered his hand and she took it.

“Brittany.”

“You’re here alone?”

She nodded. “My baby’s father…he left six months ago. My parents didn’t want me to keep it, said if I did they wouldn’t be involved. I didn’t think they’d actually keep their word on that, but…” She gave a wry smile and he caught a whiff of the sass Brittany sported underneath the present fear. “…here I am, alone.”

“You aren’t alone.”

“Oh, because God’s with me?”

“I believe He’s with all of us.”

“Even those people who are getting slaughtered out there?”

“All of us. Brittany, would you like me to pray with you?”

“No thanks. How old are you?”

He laughed. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re the youngest-looking pastor I ever saw.”

“I’m thirty-two.”

“Do you like being a pastor?”

“Sometimes I love it. Sometimes…it sucks.”

Nurse Herrick appeared in the doorway. “Pastor, could you come with me?”

“What’s wrong?”

She smiled. “Nothing. Just that your wife is getting ready to have a baby.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

As he came to his feet, the lights went out.

Randall

TINA screamed when it happened, but the complete darkness lasted only a second. Then a backup generator or something turned on, and dim lights came on in the hallway, though not the office. Of course the hospital would have backup power, and of course it would be funneled to things like breathing machines and not to somebody’s number-crunching office.

Squeak…squeak…squeak…

Right outside the door.

The sound of squeaking was not typically something that chilled Randall’s bones, particularly in a situation that had involved lots of screaming and wet splattering sounds, but there was something oddly unnerving about this squeak.

Something menacing.

He looked through the tiny window in the door. A clown stood outside, staring in at him. Just staring. He had a fright wig, a big red nose, and, yes, a lower half of his face that was shredded and bloody and laden with fangs.

A clown dracula. Wonderful.

Randall hated clowns.

He was not, he had hastened to point out in the past, scared of clowns. Grease-painted weirdos with shiny red noses did not fill him with terror. He simply hated clowns. He’d never seen a funny one. Never seen one that was anything more than an annoying, obnoxious freak.

“Is somebody out there?” Tina asked, her voice trembling.

Randall shook his head. “Nah. Just a clown.”

Even in the mostly dark room, Randall could see Tina’s eyes widen. “A clown?”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about him. He’s like Ronald McDonald.” A Ronald McDonald who will devour your face like a Big Mac and large fries…

Tina put her hand over her mouth, as if trying not to throw up. Then she looked as if she were going to hyperventilate.

“I’m not gonna let the clown hurt you,” Randall promised. “No way. I didn’t let the other monster get you, so there’s no way in the world a stupid rotten clown is gonna do anything to you. Okay?”

The little girl didn’t seem convinced. She struggled for breath—deep, wheezing gasps that sounded a lot worse than just a kid getting spooked by a clown. Did she have asthma?

“Are you all right?” he asked. “Do you…do you need an inhaler?”

She nodded vigorously.

“Do you have one?”

She shook her head and pointed to the door. He assumed she meant that she left it in pediatrics. Son of a bitch. A sick kid in a hospital—who’d’ve thunk it?

“What can I do to help?” Randall asked.

He had no idea what you did for people having an asthma attack except giving them a honk off their inhaler. There weren’t a lot of asthmatic lumberjacks out there.

She couldn’t answer. Tina didn’t seem to be suffocating—at least some air was getting in—but this was definitely serious.

Randall glanced back at the door. That goddamn clown was still staring in at them. Why was he doing that? Why wasn’t he clawing at the wood and snarling like a wild animal? Weren’t these things supposed to be all feral and stuff?

Randall wasn’t scared of clowns, he swore he wasn’t, but this was becoming creepy.

“Fuck off!” he told the clown.

Shit. He shouldn’t have said “fuck” in front of the little girl.

The clown just stood there. Randall couldn’t tell for sure if he was grinning—all of the creatures kind of looked like they were grinning—but he had a sadistic glint in his eyes.

“Okay, Tina, I’m gonna get you to your inhaler,” Randall said. “I’m gonna take you on a piggyback ride, okay?”

“How do…” Tina gasped for breath, a long, pained gasp that tore at Randall’s heart. “…we get out?”

“Through the door. Past the clown.”

“No!”

“I can handle Bozo, don’t worry. I’ll pop his head like a water balloon. Hop on.”

“No!”

“Tina, there’s no other way out of here!”

Randall inwardly raged about the stupidity of the building designers to not have included another way out of the office, then immediately decided that architects did not typically have “homicidal monster infestation” on their list of situations that required safety precautions.

“He’ll eat us!”

“No, he won’t. He’s too lame and stupid to eat us.” Randall was one step away from shouting “Goddamn it, Tina, get on my back!” but kept himself in check. “Cross my heart, the clown isn’t gonna hurt you, I promise. But we have to get out of here before more of them come. How do we know there isn’t a clown car downstairs? There could be more of them on the way!”

Randall wasn’t sure if that was a necessary lie or sheer cruelty, but it got the job done. He crouched as Tina climbed up onto his back. She was nice and light and her weight didn’t make his leg hurt any more than the unbearable agony he was already feeling from it.

The clown was still staring at them.

Now Randall had a decision to make: chainsaw or no chainsaw? It didn’t have any gas, and was hardly the most effective bludgeoning weapon available to him, but leaving it behind would be like leaving behind his…well, maybe not his penis, but rather…well, he supposed it was just like leaving behind his beloved chainsaw. He couldn’t do it. If refusing to do battle with a clown without his chainsaw made him insane, fine, he was insane. Plenty of insane people had done great things for the world.

“Are you ready?” Randall asked.

Tina gasped for breath in reply.

Randall unlocked and opened the door with his free hand. The clown stood motionless for a split second, then sprung to life like an electrified Frankenstein and lunged at him, mouth wide open.

Randall thrust the chainsaw blade at him, as hard as he could. The blade went straight into the clown’s mouth, making a cringe-inducing fingernails-on-chalkboard screech as the metal blades scraped against his teeth. The blade did not burst out through the back of the clown’s neck, which would’ve been helpful, but Randall settled for leaving it there for a moment, deep-throating the white-faced son of a bitch.

The clown did not gag as it reached for him, arms wildly flapping.

Randall yanked out the chainsaw blade. A few of the clown’s teeth came with it. The clown’s suit was completely soaked with blood, and dangling from the waist of his pants was a short rope of twisted intestine that Randall didn’t think originally belonged to him. A blood-streaked button identified him as Benny the Clown.

Randall slammed the chainsaw blade back into Benny the Clown’s mouth, taking out most of his lower row of fangs.

Benny the Clown was notably less sedate than he’d been while peeking through the window. His claws scraped against Randall’s arm, hurting like hell but not cutting very deep.

Randall gave the chainsaw a violent twist, and that took care of most of Benny the Clown’s remaining teeth. He turned the blade in a complete circle. Twice.

Tina was, quite understandably, shrieking. Randall wished she wouldn’t do that, because it could attract more of the creatures, but he wasn’t sure he could convince a five-year-old girl to stop screaming while he was in the process of mutilating a monster clown.

Randall yanked the chainsaw out again. A spurt of blood soaked Benny the Clown’s already-blood-soaked oversized squeaky shoes. Using his good foot, Randall kicked the clown in the nuts.

Benny the Clown clutched at his groin and fell to the floor.

Now that was a clown pratfall Randall could enjoy.

Three separate bottles of pills had fallen out of Benny the Clown’s pockets as he struck the tile. Fuckin’ clown was probably thoroughly drugged up. Maybe that was why he wasn’t in total “wild animal” mode like the others.

Benny the Clown was far from dead, but he was disabled enough to suit Randall’s purposes. The extra ten seconds he spent beating the fucker to death might be ten seconds he needed for running away, especially if…

A pair of draculas came around the corner.

Shit!

Randall didn’t want to lock himself in the office again—he needed to make some progress. But this was going to take him farther away from Jenny and pediatrics.

Nothing he could do about that. It was a hospital, so there had to be more than one place he could find an inhaler.

With Tina still on his back, he limped down the hallway as quickly as he could.

Then his blood-soaked chainsaw popped out of his hands and dropped onto the floor.

Damn! Shit! Piss! Crap! Ass! Fuck!

He couldn’t stop to pick up his chainsaw without gas with a little girl on his back and two draculas on his tail. It wasn’t worth dying for.

Fuck! Fucker fuck frick fuck! Fuckleberry!

His leg twisted just a bit, because, apparently, it hadn’t hurt quite enough before.

Ignore the pain…ignore the pain…imagine that your leg is a mighty redwood, standing straight and tall…

Goddamn my leg hurts…

He pushed through a swinging door. A sign overhead read Rehabilitation Therapy. Ah, yes. He’d get to know this place well…in another hospital, of course.

He heard the draculas rush right past the door. Then a scream. They must’ve found a more helpless victim.

Squeak…squeak…squeak…

Not the squeak of Benny the Clown’s shoes. A different squeak.

Though Randall didn’t have time for stopping and gaping, he couldn’t help but stop and gape as the dracula in a wheelchair rolled across the room toward him.

Moorecook

BEING wealthy, Mortimer Moorecook had thought he’d understood power.

But he hadn’t truly known it until now.

He was fast, with the speed and reflexes of a jungle leopard. Pouncing and tearing. Drinking and devouring. Going from hospital room to hospital room, attacking patients, staff, visitors.

He could see in the dark. The talons on his feet and hands were so strong he could climb walls, even hang upside-down from the ceiling. He bolted into a woman’s room, her screams like hot fudge on a sundae, her supple, weak flesh unable to push him away as he sank his fangs into her warm, wet neck.

Seeing her fear, feeling her revulsion, was a rush better even than the sex he’d so desperately missed. But even more wonderful than that was all the precious blood blood BLOOD BLOOD BLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOOD…

STOP!

He released the girl he’d been slurping, even though she still had some blood left. She’d been dead for a few minutes, but if he drank all of her blood, she wouldn’t turn.

Moorecook wanted them to turn. He wanted as many of his kind as possible.

When not overwhelmed by bloodlust, he was capable of higher brain functioning. He knew he was different from the others he had created. Smarter. Better. Still evolving, in a different kind of way.

The others sensed the difference. They attacked one another, but gave him a wide berth. He’d even been able to screech at them, get them to follow some rudimentary orders. Direct them where to go.

He found three of them on the third floor, fighting over a pathetic pool of blood on the tile floor. Mortimer hissed, clacking his teeth together, commanding them to follow. They avoided the gunfire, going down an empty stairwell, slinking outside into the parking lot.

There were many cars. Cars meant chances for humans to escape.

Moorecook couldn’t allow that. He showed them how to attack the tires. Directing them to each car, biting and tearing through the rubber treads with the sound of thunderclaps as they popped.

As they were finishing up, Mortimer heard the distant bray of police sirens, closing in. He directed his brood to hide near the entrance. Two went into the bushes flanking the ER doors. One crouched behind the BLESSED CRUCIFIXION HOSPITAL sign. Moorecook easily scaled the wall and pressed into a corner like a gecko, letting the darkness hide him.

Three police cars pulled up, two men in each. They exited their vehicles with practiced skill. Alert. Armed. Cautious.

They didn’t even get a single shot off.

His brood attacked from all sides, slashing their talons, snapping their jaws. Moorecook hung down, his feet gripping a security camera, snatching a cop trying to run into the building. He pulled him up to his perch and bit into his face, tasting his blood and his bubbling screams. Moorecook chewed into his skull until his prickly tongue pierced down through bone and cartilage and sinew all the way to the carotid artery.

He drank until the man was empty—he was too damaged to turn—then leapt down on his brood, hissing and chasing them off, ensuring that three of the cops would join his brethren.

More. They needed more.

The bigger their numbers, the harder they would be to stop.

Mortimer stared up at the moon, painfully bright in the dark sky. He listened to the squawk of a police band radio, then leapt into an open car and ripped the radio from the dashboard. As he did, three of his talons broke off, revealing nubby white bone beneath the skin.

How curious.

There was no pain. In fact, something deep and primeval in him had expected this to happen.

Moorecook was the first. He’d been infected by the original source. That made him special.

He knew he was going to change into something else.

Something even more powerful than what he already was.

Something that would allow him to infect the whole world.

Oasis

HUNGRY again.

So hungry.

Oasis moved through a corridor. The hospital lights had gone out and come back on, though much dimmer. Just these soft blue lights above the doorways, which left lots of shadows.

She didn’t like shadows. The dark scared her even though she could still see so much better than before.

She came around a corner and stopped.

A big sign on the wall read, THE BIRTHPLACE.

Oasis moved carefully down the corridor.

She’d learned her lesson. You couldn’t just go running into things when you were a little girl. Adults were strong and mean, and none of them wanted to share their red candy.

She passed a woman lying on the floor, but the others had gotten to her and been thorough.

Finally came to a set of double doors. She hooked a talon through the handles and pulled.

They didn’t budge.

She looked up at the window in one of the doors—the glass had been broken out, and someone had stapled a piece of paper across the opening from the other side.

She reached up, punched a talon through the paper, thinking there must be something really good on the other side of these doors if someone had gone to the trouble to lock them.

She crouched and jumped.

Got her arms halfway through the window frame.

She struggled to pull herself the rest of the way inside.

It was a tight fit, really tight, but she had a good feeling now that she was going to make it through.

Clay

SO stubborn! he thought as he led Shanna down the stairs.

Didn’t she realize that two people had a much better chance of survival when both were armed? But no. She was too scared to pack even a little heat.

He didn’t understand fear of guns. Guns eased fear. They were equalizers.

“Are you mad at me?” she said, close behind him.

Lucky for them, all the stairwells had battery-powered emergency lights. Still, he didn’t want any shooting in here, especially with a shotgun. A miss would send buckshot ricocheting every which way.

“No, honey. I understand.”

And he did, sort of. First time she ever pulled a trigger she killed someone she’d known. Even though that person had no longer been the person she’d known, it still had to give one pause.

“I wish I were like you.”

“Now that’s a surprise.”

“I mean with guns. You seem so at ease with them.”

“Shanna, I’ve been preparing all my life for this moment.”

“What do you mean?”

“My daddy. He was what people called a survivalist.”

“You mean with the bomb shelter and the freeze-dried food and…?”

“The guns? Yep. The whole nine yards. He bought the whole package. And he made all of us buy into it too.” He remembered the emergency drills, the nights spent underground in the shelter, the constant target practice. “At least until we were old enough to go out on our own.”

“What was he afraid of? Aliens? Minority uprisings? Islamic fanatics? Economic holocaust?”

“None of the above. Daddy was old school. For him it was commies.”

“Commies? But—”

“I know, I know. But he believed they tore down the Berlin Wall to fool us. They never let go of their quest for world domination. Especially the Chinese commies—they were the ones who scared the crap out of my daddy. Because there’s so many of them. He kept saying, ‘They’re coming, Clay. A human tsunami. They’ll overrun us because we won’t be able to shoot fast enough.’ Can’t tell you how many times I heard that.”

Shanna gave a soft laugh. “He wasn’t so off about the Chinese, just about how they’d take over.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re practically buying the country.”

“Yeah, well. Daddy prepared us for invasion. We grew up to think he was crazy, but he wasn’t. It’s happening right now. Except it ain’t commies, it’s these monsters.”

They reached the ground-floor landing and peeked through the slit window in the steel fire door. Empty—at least as far as he could see. But instead of opening the door, Clay turned to Shanna. He dug in his pocket, pulled his truck keys from where they snuggled up against the ring box, and handed them to her.

“All right. Here’s the plan: We’re gonna cut our way through the ER to the parking lot. When we reach my Suburban, you’re gonna jump in and hightail it out of here. I’m gonna stay.”

“But—”

“That’s it. No discussion. I’ve got to hang around until the staties arrive, and that shouldn’t be long. When they get here, we’ll team up and clean up this mess. But a couple of things first. You called Moorecook ‘patient zero,’ said he started all this. From what you said, it sounds like he cut himself on purpose to get this going. Any idea why?”

Shanna shrugged. “He was terminal with cancer. Maybe he was trying to prolong his life.”

“By turning into a monster?”

“You’re assuming he knew what would happen. I can’t believe he’d want to become the thing I saw in the lobby.”

“Can you tell me anything else? I’m going to have to fill in the staties on what I know, and the more I know, the better. Even if you don’t think it’s important, tell me.”

Shanna pursed her lips, and her nose crinkled in that cute way that indicated she was trying to make a decision.

“It’s kind of complicated, Clay.”

“I can handle complicated.”

“Okay. You ever heard of a secret society called the Order of the Dragon?”

“That’d be a no.”

“It was formed in the early Fifteenth Century, ostensibly to fight the Turks and Ottoman Empire.”

He winked. “You mean the people responsible for the furniture you rest your feet—”

“Hang with me, Clay. Members of the order were called Draconists. Around this same time, the black death was raging throughout Eurasia. Today, historians and scholars believe it was the bubonic and pneumonic plague that caused the black death, but there has been no absolute evidence to support this hypothesis, only educated guesses. My contention, based on all the research I’ve done for Mort, is that the black death caused dracula-like symptoms in some of its hosts, especially in people with certain genetic precursors. Certain royal bloodlines.”

“You lost me, girl.”

“I’m saying the black death, in some cases, caused a mutation, resulting in vampirism.”

“Mutation. Got it. Like in Blade II with Wesley Snipes. Remember the scene with Ron Perlman when he—”

“Do you want to talk about movies, or about what I think is going on?”

Clay would have preferred movies, but he needed to hear what she had to say. “Okay, tell me what’s going on.”

“The son of Oswald von Wolkenstein, a member of the Order of the Dragon, was afflicted with horrific dental deformities. While the Draconists were killing vampires, Oswald hid his son, kept him chained up in a cellar. But the son escaped, went on a killing spree, ending up in Transylvania and causing a dracula epidemic. Ever heard of Vlad the Third of Wallachia?”

Clay knew that from the Coppola flick. “That guy who went around impaling folks?”

“Exactly. Legend has it that Vlad, because of his brutality, was the original Dracula, but my contention—”

“Just love how you contend everything. It’s cute.”

“Clay!”

“Sorry.”

“So my um, my…”

“Go on, you know you want to say it.”

“I hate you…contention is that he didn’t impale thirty thousand of his innocent subjects and countrymen. He impaled thirty thousand of these monsters in an epidemic started by Oswald’s son! Vlad saved his country! And what better way to stop these monsters than to impale them on twenty-foot stakes, immobilized so they starved to death?”

An explosive round to the brain pan was a lot better, but they didn’t have that hundreds of years ago.

“What about Oswald’s son?”

“Vlad caught him finally, beheaded him, and buried his head in a field in the Romanian countryside.”

Clay smirked, finally getting it.

“You going to tell me that Oswald’s son’s skull is the same skull your buddy Mort paid several million for so he could bite himself? Didn’t he need those genetic precursor thingies?”

Shanna’s eyes got wide. “Shit! How’d I miss that? Mortimer’s robes! They all have an Ouroboros insignia on them! A dragon eating its own tail! That’s the symbol of the Draconists!”

“So old Mort is a Wolkenstein.”

“He’s got the bloodline, and the genetic precursor. Do you know what that means?”

“That we need to kill the son of a bitch.”

“It means Mortimer’s not only predisposed to getting this disease, but perhaps he also carries the antibodies within him.”

“Huh?”

“He carries the virus that makes the vaccine.”

“You mean like a shot?”

“Yes, Clay. Like a shot.”

Jenny

THE children had begun to scream when the lights went out.

Their screams lured the draculas to the storage room door. They thumped and scratched and pounded on it, jerking and rattling the knob, pressing up against the square window in the door and blocking out the faint emergency lights from the playroom, which plunged the closet into complete darkness.

Working from memory, Jenny flailed out her hands until she found the shelf on the wall, then followed it until she came to the children’s art supplies: boxes of crayons, construction paper, bottles of finger paint, balloons…

Dammit, where are they?

Her probing fingers found their way into a cardboard box, locking onto a cylindrical, pen-shaped object. She shook it vigorously and bent it in half with a faint CRACK. Immediately, it gave off a faint, green light. Glow sticks. Essential for any underage patient afraid of the dark.

Apparently encouraged by the light, the monsters outside the door became even more frantic in their zeal to get in. The glass window shattered, and a taloned arm forced itself through, slashing at the air inches from Jenny’s face.

Jenny lurched away, tripping over someone’s legs, falling onto her ass. The children continued to scream. The dracula thrashed and swiped its claws. It even managed to push its head through, scraping its face against the jagged, broken glass, its neck kinked at an odd angle.

Jenny tore herself away from the horror, reaching for the box of glow sticks. To quiet the screaming of the children, she began bending, shaking, and passing them out as fast as she could. There were different colors, red and purple and yellow and orange, all giving off a diffuse, pastel light that reminded Jenny of another of Randall’s favorite VHS tapes—the movie Tron.

But rather than pacify the kids, the increased illumination allowed everyone to focus on the spastic dracula stuck in the window.

“Shh. Quiet. Everyone quiet down. It’s okay. The worst is over.”

She was wrong. The creature went from hissing to screeching, its head and arm flopping around as if in the throes of a grand mal seizure. Its eyes rolled up, showing the whites. Froth, then blood, sprayed from the torn vestiges of its lips. It began to shake its head, faster and faster, beating it against the sides of the windows, shredding off its own ears in the process.

Then the monster’s eyes bulged, protruding like hardboiled eggs. With an audible POP, they escaped their sockets, dangling by their optic nerves.

No…not the nerves. The eyeballs were pierced on the ends of two talons.

Another dracula had dug into the back of this one’s skull.

A millisecond later the dead creature was yanked free of the door. Jenny and the children listened to the frenzied feeding. Growls. Snapping jaws. Gurgling blood. Wet smacking.

It was like listening to a BBQ in hell.

Jenny sat back in the corner of the room, four children desperately clinging to her. Their hysterical screaming eventually subsided to steady sobs. Jenny kept her arms around them, patting arms, tousling hair, trying to figure out what to do next while nervously waiting for something else horrible to happen.

But nothing did. Eventually the feasting sounds died down, then vanished all together.

Jenny began to count her heartbeats. At any moment, she expected another dracula to try and force itself in through the window.

By the time she reached two hundred, all sounds had ceased.

There was only silence.

Dreadful, expectant silence.

“Are they gone?” one of the kids asked.

“I don’t know,” Jenny answered. “Is anyone hurt? Did anyone get bit?”

“I wet my pants.”

“It’s all right,” Jenny told the little boy. “We can take care of that later. You’ve all been very brave so far. I need you to keep being brave.”

Jenny tried to stand, but eight little hands clung to her.

“I have to check to see if they’re still there.”

“No! Don’t go!”

“It’s okay. I promise I’ll be fine. I need to get to the intercom and call my husband.”

“Is he the big man with the chainsaw?”

“Yes.”

“Is he going to save us?”

Jenny pictured Randall.

Big, clumsy, stupid Randall.

Loyal, loving, brave Randall.

“Yes,” she said, surprising herself with the certainty of her conviction. “He is.”

Lanz

KURT Lanz, MD, inhaled through the scorched, gaping hole in his face where his nose used to be. Part of him—the rational, thinking part—knew that when he’d yanked off his burned nose to eat, he’d managed to deviate his septum. But that didn’t matter now.

All that mattered was blood.

After killing the lights, he’d scampered to the geriatric ward, giddy with the thought of defenseless old people. But it had been picked clean.

Next, he’d gone to the Birthplace, but found the entrance locked. He couldn’t fit through the small window hole in the door, which infuriated him, because he could smell humans in there.

Oncology was next and yielded similar results. The beds were empty, the ward in disarray. Lanz tried to squeeze a few drops of blood from a severed leg he’d found on the floor, but it had been sucked dry. He made do chewing on a blood-soaked bed sheet, swallowing the torn strips.

The many others roaming the halls had sensed their blood supply gone and begun to turn on each other. Lanz even joined in, pouncing on a smaller creature—a teenager—that was being eviscerated by a group of larger adults. Lanz got away with a kidney and half the liver.

Neither soothed the growing ache in his belly.

He craved blood.

He wanted it more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life.

Half-insane with bloodlust, he remembered that bitch up in pediatrics. Jenny. Assuming she’d been resourceful enough to fight off the horde, perhaps she was still alive. Maybe she’d even managed to protect some of the children.

The innocent, defenseless, delicious little children.

Only one way to find out…

Lanz slunk into the stairwell, taking the steps three at a time, his mouth salivating at the thought of the nurse’s sweet, warm blood.

Stacie

AT first, she thought she’d lost consciousness, but the pain was still there, like her back was ripping itself apart, and then the lights returned, only in a much diminished state—nothing but a cold, blue glow emitting from the battery-backup above the door to her room.

Two figures emerged out of the shadowy corridor—Adam and Nurse Herrick hurrying back.

“What happened to the lights?” Stacie asked through gritted teeth.

“I don’t know,” the nurse said.

“Epidural,” Stacie moaned. “I didn’t want it, wasn’t part of the plan, but now—”

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Nurse Herrick patted her hand.

“What do you mean ‘sorry’? I can’t keep…” Her voice trailed into another groan as Adam came around and put his hand on her shoulder. “Don’t touch me,” she seethed through the pain.

“Baby, this too shall—”

“Oh my God, if you quote another fucking bible verse, I’m gonna rip your eyes out of your head. Nurse, get me the epidural.”

“I’m not qualified to administer it.”

Desperate now, she pleaded, “How hard can it be?”

“It’s a spinal block. I could accidentally paralyze you for life. You could get an infection and die. It takes a high level of skill that I don’t have.”

Stacie glared at Adam, felt a rush of anger flooding through her.

“You can do this,” he said. “I know you can. You’re so beautiful.”

She shook her head. “You did this to me. You did, and I will never forgive you as long as I—”

“Stacie—”

“Stop. Talking.”

The nurse perused one of the cabinets, finally emerging with a flashlight. She came around to the foot of the bed and lifted Stacie’s gown.

“I need to push,” Stacie begged. She’d never wanted anything so badly.

“Not yet.”

“Why?” She could feel the nurse’s hands probing under her gown.

“You’re almost fully dilated,” Herrick said. “I can’t believe how fast you’re progressing. Wait until the next contraction, and when it comes, you grab your husband’s hand and push like you’ve never pushed before. But not on this one.”

She thought about crushing the bones in Adam’s fingers and this made her briefly happy.

“Don’t push,” Herrick warned.

“I’m not! Adam?”

He was suddenly right there.

“What, baby?”

“I’m never doing this again.”

“I know.”

And suddenly she could breathe again, her chest heaving, sweat running down into her eyes. A break between the bouts of torture.

She could hear more gunshots blasting in the hospital.

“Are the doors out there holding?” she asked.

“Don’t think about it,” Adam said.

“Please check.”

Her husband hustled out of the room as Nurse Herrick fed her another ice chip. “This is the threshold, Stacie,” she said. “I’ve seen a lot of women at this point, where you think you can’t go on, and you know what?”

“What?”

“Babies get born, every day.”

“So what do I do?”

“You breathe through it. Just breathe. The baby’s coming no matter what you do.”

Adam returned. “The barricade’s still in place.”

And then it came, a contraction a step above all others, a new revelation of pain, and Stacie felt the ring of fire her girlfriends had joked about—nothing in the history of language had been so aptly named—and the voices in her ear all swirling, yelling, Push! The head’s coming! You’re almost there! Just a little longer!

Three minutes of the most intense pain of her life, and all she could think was, There better be a motherfucking baby at the end of this contraction, and when it finally, mercifully passed, it was like coming up for air after three minutes underwater.

She didn’t hear any crying, just her husband’s voice in her ear, distant and echoey, telling her how great she was doing.

Nurse Herrick was right at her ear.

“The head is halfway out. Baby’s in a good position. You push it out next contraction.”

Next?

She was nodding, and before she could wrap her head around the concept of “next” she was pushing again, her throat raw from screaming, screaming for what seemed like hours through unending pain, and then her head fell back into the pillow. She was done. She had nothing left. She quit, because the contraction was over and still this thing was inside of—

A small, precious cry brought her head instantly up off the pillow.

Nurse Herrick stood at the foot of the bed, holding a tiny creature, suctioning its mouth and nose, and then a baby-cry erupted and this living, squirming creature was on Stacie’s chest, blue and covered in vernix, all the anger, fear, and pain replaced by a shot of the most all-encompassing joy she’d ever known, and Stacie was sobbing, and Adam right there with her—strong, beautiful, loving, perfect Adam—and he was crying and patting their baby’s back.

“You’re amazing, baby,” he said, laughing. “Both of you.”

She could feel the umbilical cord pulsing against her stomach.

“I’ll leave you two for a minute,” Herrick said, and as she slipped outside, Stacie looked at Adam, touched his blue-lit face.

“Should we check?” she said.

“Check what?”

“If this is Matthew or Daniella.”

Adam laughed. “I hadn’t even thought of it.”

“Introduce us,” Stacie said.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Stacie turned her head away as Adam lifted their cooing baby and then eased it back onto her chest. He had tears in his eyes when she looked back.

“Stacie,” he said, and she looked down into the little face, eyes struggling to open, staring cross-eyed right into hers. “I’d like to introduce you to your daughter, Daniella.”

“Hey, baby girl,” Stacie said, touching the back of her finger to Daniella’s little cheek. “Meet your mom and dad. We’re going to…”

“Stace? You all right?”

She was. She was great. The pain was gone, just a little dizziness. Well, maybe a lot of dizziness, and it was coming on stronger with every passing second.

“Yeah, I just…little light-headed.”

Adam moved around to the end of the bed, said, “Oh, God,” and Stacie watched him rush out of the room, heard him calling Nurse Herrick, something in the tone of his voice that unnerved her. She couldn’t take her gaze off Daniela, but she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open now, and the last thing she noticed before she descended into unconsciousness were the bloody footprints—Adam’s—leading out into the corridor, dark as crude oil in the lowlight.

Adam

HE found Herrick at the nurse’s station, making entries in a chart by flashlight.

“She’s bleeding,” he said. “A lot.”

Herrick dropped her pen and came around the desk into the corridor, practically ran down the hall.

“Is this normal?” Adam said.

They passed through the open door into Stacie’s room and Herrick stopped, staring at the bloody sheets, the dark drops falling into a puddle on the floor.

“Stacie!” she yelled, and Adam followed her to his wife’s bedside. “Stacie. Can you hear me?”

Stacie still held the baby in her arms, but her eyes were closed, and even in the lowlight, Adam thought she looked pale.

Herrick lifted Stacie’s wrist, checked her radial pulse.

She turned on her flashlight and lifted Stacie’s hospital gown.

“Is she gonna be okay?”

“Shhh.”

A beat of terrible silence, and then Herrick turned and faced him.

“She’s postpartum hemorrhaging.”

“What does that mean?”

“She passed the placenta immediately following birth. What I’m guessing is there’s still a piece of it in there.”

“Why is that bad?”

“Because it’s stopping her uterus from contracting.”

“How much blood has she lost?”

“I don’t know for sure, but at least half a liter, which is past the point of being okay.”

“Oh God.”

“Listen to me.”

“Can you fix her?”

“Yes, but I need your help.”

“Anything.”

“I think I can stop the bleeding, but she’s lost so much already, she’s gonna need a transfusion.”

“Okay.”

“You have to go down to the blood bank.”

Adam felt a tremor of fear ride down his legs.

“Where’s the blood bank?”

“The basement.”

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, are you fucking kidding me?”

Herrick actually took a step back from the minister, her eyes going wide.

“Sorry about that,” he said.

“It’s quite all right, pastor, we’re all under a great deal of stress. You’ll need this.” Herrick lifted his overnight backpack off a rocking chair. Adam overcame the tremor in his hands, finally managing to unzip it and dump the contents—a change of clothes and some toiletries.

“How do I get there?”

Herrick walked out of the room into the corridor, pulling him along.

“Through those doors, then you go to the end of the hallway and take a right. Go to the end of that hallway and take a left. On your next right, four doors down, you’ll see a door leading to the stairwell. Go all the way down, and when you come out, go left, right, left, and then right again, all the way to the end of the last corridor. You’ll see the sign for the lab. Refrigerators are in back. Grab at least five units of O-positive.”

His head was swimming.

“O-positive. Okay.”

“Help me with this.”

They slid the furniture back from the door, and then Adam stared through the window. The paper that Herrick had stapled over the opening had blown away.

“Coast clear?” she asked.

“For now.”

He heard the locks sliding up, his heart beginning to pound at the thought of going out there.

“Adam?”

He looked at Herrick.

“I know you don’t want to go out there, but your wife will die if she doesn’t start receiving new blood in less than thirty minutes.”

Adam’s daughter began to cry at the other end of the wing.

He wondered if he’d seen the last he would ever see of her.

“I’ll take care of your girls, Adam,” Herrick said. “Now get going.”

Jenny

“I’M just going to see if the playroom is empty,” Jenny told the clinging, whimpering kids. “I’ll be right back.”

Amid cries of protest, the nurse extracted herself from the tangle of children and stood up, holding the glowing green light stick in front of her like a talisman. She crept to the closet door, making sure her footing was solid. Jenny prayed Randall was on his way back for them. The desire to hear his voice again was overwhelming. For his many faults—the gullibility, the temper, the drinking, the inability to think ahead—the old Randall had been a rock. He’d also been one of the most reassuring, nurturing people she’d ever known, and all of her friends were nurses, so that was really saying something.

If the old Randall was back—and she sensed he was—he’d find a way to reach her, even if he had to walk barefoot through hell.

The intercom was near the front door, which was still barricaded shut. Jenny wanted to tell him to find an intercom, to let her know he was okay, to come for her and the kids, and…

And?

To tell him I love him.

Funny how that worked. During the dark days of their marriage, she had felt less his wife, and more his mother—always scolding him, trying to make him straighten up and fly right. But now that the shit had hit the fan, he was the one person in the world Jenny needed. She closed her eyes, for just a moment, imagining his embrace—like being hugged by a big, friendly bear.

Jenny hoped she’d be able to feel that embrace at least one more time.

He’s alive. He’s got to be alive. Randall has survived countless accidents and mishaps. Countless drunken bar fights. He’s indestructible.

She opened her eyes, focused on the door. Holding her breath, she stopped just an arm’s length away from the square window, listening for sounds.

The silence was so loud it made her wince.

Jenny let out a slow sigh, then took a cautious step forward and—

“STOP! A monster is going to pop out and grab you! I know it!”

Jenny’s bladder clenched at the child’s outburst. The courage she’d stored up seeped right out of her.

“It’s okay,” she said.

But it really wasn’t okay, was it? Monsters—real monsters—were running around the hospital, killing people. Her husband was gone. Jenny had no weapons. And now she was about to peer through a broken window when there was a pretty good chance something would pop out and grab her.

Maybe staying put was a smart idea.

She was about to give in to cowardice when she remembered something her husband had said to her on their honeymoon. They’d spent the week at the ridiculous sounding “Camp Kookyfoot Waterpark” because Randall was nuts about waterslides. Jenny had initially resented him for it—it had been his “surprise” wedding gift to her—but it ultimately didn’t matter because they spent most of the trip in bed. During one of their rare ventures out of the bedroom to eat at the suitably hokey “Kookypants Famous Bar and Grill,” Randall had cut his sirloin into pieces too big to swallow and wound up getting one stuck in his throat. Jenny had calmly gotten behind him and applied the Heimlich, saving his life.

“Thanks, babe,” he’d told her once he could breathe again. “It’s nice to have someone I can count on. You know you can count on me too. Always and forever.”

Well, “always and forever” had taken a detour, but Jenny sensed it had come full circle and was true again. And if so, she knew she could count on Randall coming back. Knew it like she knew the sun would rise tomorrow and water was wet.

Now Randall was in the hospital somewhere, surrounded by monsters, possibly hurt, maybe even dying, and she wanted, needed him to know she felt the same way.

Eyeing the window, Jenny took another tentative step toward it, squinting into the playroom, looking for signs of movement, listening for any—

“STOP!”

“Kids!” Jenny admonished, turning around. “You’re going to give me a heart attack! Shush!”

Shaking off the adrenalin, she moved even closer to the door. Her imagination took over. Jenny could picture a monster crouching behind it, waiting to grab her once she got close enough.

Funny how just two hours ago she never could have thought such things existed. Now she was worried about one popping out and biting her head off.

Creeping ever closer to the door, too scared to even breathe, all Jenny could hear was the thrumming sound of her own pulse. The door loomed nearer.

Two feet away.

Eighteen inches.

Twelve inches.

Six inches.

Finally, Jenny could peek through the broken window into the playroom. She saw…

A massacre.

Severed limbs strewn everywhere. Entrails festooned on the chairs and tables. Half-chewed organs speckled the floor and unidentifiable lumps of fatty tissue and brain matter splattered across the walls. Some of the pieces were human—the people Jenny had left behind when she fled into the storage closet. But the majority belonged to the creatures. They had slaughtered each other.

For all the gore, there was surprisingly little blood. Jenny could smell raw meat, and the sickly-sour butcher shop odor of liver and sweetbreads, coupled with a deep, smoked pork scent courtesy of her dairy creamer weapon.

“Are they gone?” one of the children whispered.

Repulsive as it was, the playroom seemed to be empty.

“Yes,” Jenny said. Her hand found the doorknob, sticky with fluid that had been squeezed from the slaughtered dracula stuck in the window.

“Don’t go!”

“It’s okay,” Jenny said. “I’m just going to use the intercom. I’ll be right back.”

Touching the knob gingerly with just her fingertips, she swung open the door and immediately wiped her hand off on an unstained part of her uniform. The intercom was on the wall, right next to the barricaded door. Jenny moved carefully out of the closet, undecided on whether or not to leave the door open. On the one hand, she didn’t want to put the children in danger. But the door locked automatically, and if she needed to get in there quickly, she didn’t want to have to wait for one of the kids to let her in.

She opted for a compromise—closing it most of the way, but leaving it open a crack.

Then she focused her attention on the twenty-foot space between her and the intercom.

Slow and steady? Or run like hell?

Jenny ran, watching her footing but still feeling fleshy bits squish under the soles of her shoes. She reached the intercom in the space of a few seconds, then had a bad thought.

The power is out. What if it doesn’t work?

Jenny hoped it would be powered by the generator. Like life-support and operating room lights, the intercom was essential for patient care. Earlier, amid the chaos, someone had used it to call Shanna. But Jenny couldn’t remember if it was before or after the outage.

Only one way to find out…

She pressed the button and spoke into the speaker, “Randall, I’m still in pediatrics with the children. I need you to…oh my God!”

Jenny froze, immobilized by fear.

Dr. Lanz appeared in the hallway.

She spotted him through the spiderweb cracks of the room-length window, the children’s finger painting now frescoed with bits of tissue.

Lanz hadn’t spotted her yet. But he’d heard her. The intercom worked fine, Jenny’s voice blaring throughout the hospital, announcing her location.

Lanz reached the hole he’d broken in the glass, and locked eyes with her. His white lab coat was charred, his nametag a melted blob.

His face was also a melted blob. The doctor’s nose was nothing but a blackened hole, and his hair stuck to his scalp in sticky, burned patches.

“EEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHHHHHHHH!”

Did he just call me a bitch?

Quick as a cat, he pounced through the window and sprang at Jenny, bounding toward her on all fours, closing the distance between them with astonishing speed.

Jenny reached for one of the chairs piled up against the exit door and held it in front of her like a lion tamer, keeping Lanz at bay. He swiped at it, hitting hard enough to sting Jenny’s palms and make her arms shake. He repeated the move, batting the chair to the other side, but she refused to let go, not letting him get close enough to touch her.

Then Lanz paused his attack. He sniffed the air, the ragged skin around his nasal cavity vibrating. He turned his head slowly toward the storage room.

No! Not the children!

Lanz leapt toward the closet, but Jenny had anticipated the move. She tossed the chair aside and threw herself at him, tackling the doctor around his ankles, causing him to sprawl face-first onto the floor.

Every cell in Jenny’s body screamed at her to let go, to get as far away from the hideous creature as possible. But Jenny Bolton had seen enough death that day. Horrible, pointless, unexpected death. If she had to kill Dr. Lanz with her own two fists, she would, because she would be damned if she let that monster harm another innocent.

Lanz twisted on the floor, reaching back for Jenny, his claws outstretched and tangling in her hair. She grabbed onto one of his talons—long and bony—and snapped it backward, hard as she could, so quick and violent that his knuckle split the skin and popped out to say hello.

Lanz immediately released her head—

—and shoved his bleeding finger into his mouth.

As the creature cannibalized its own hand, Jenny scurried off to the side, got her feet under her, and sprinted toward the closet door. She reached for the knob, yanking hard.

The door didn’t move.

It must have closed shut on its own.

Jenny glanced back at Dr. Lanz, who was sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth, chewing on his hand and shuddering with either agony or ecstasy. Or maybe both. His misshapen, angler-fish teeth were shredding the appendage to hamburger.

She stuck her head into the window.

“Kids! Open the door and let me in!”

The children didn’t reply.

“Come on! Open the door!”

When she got a response, it was tinged with tears. “I’m scared.”

“I’m scared too. But you need to let me in so I can protect you.”

Jenny stuck her arm through the window, waving the glow stick and peering inside. The four children were huddled together on the far side of the closet.

“Come on, kids. Please open up.”

She glanced over her shoulder toward Lanz. He was still chewing on his hand, but it wasn’t as frenzied. He’d grown calmer, almost contemplative about the task. As if deciding which part of the turkey leg to bite into next.

Even if Jenny made it past him, where could she go? No doubt the hospital was crawling with draculas. The closet was the safest place. Besides, she couldn’t leave the kids.

She stuck her head through the broken window. No way she’d fit through. Maybe ten years and twenty pounds ago, but all that would happen now was she’d get stuck like that monster had.

Another quick glance at Lanz.

He was no longer eating himself.

Instead, he was standing, staring at Jenny, a line of bloody drool stretching down his chest.

Oh no…

She banged on the door with both fists. “Open this goddamn door now! Right now!”

Jenny chanced another look behind her.

Lanz was holding his hand—now a ragged stump—up to his mouth. His misshapen, hideous tongue gave it a long, slow lick, like he was enjoying a popsicle. His black eyes bore into Jenny.

Then he took an easy step forward.

“JESUS CHRIST JUST OPEN THE—!”

Lanz broke into a run, and just then the knob turned. Jenny slipped into the closet, managing to get the door closed and to brace her back against it just as Lanz hit full force. His claw—the one he still had—shot through the window and latched onto Jenny’s throat. She twisted away, crabwalking backward, watching in helpless terror as Lanz tried to force himself into the square window.

He got his arm in.

He got his head in.

But that was as far as he could go.

Jenny feverishly looked around for a weapon. Besides the art supplies, there was medical equipment, but none of it formidable. Bandages, sutures, iodine, splints, tape. Where were the scalpels? Where were the syringes? Where was the—

Crash cart! Why hadn’t she thought of that before?

The cart was a set of aluminum shelves on wheels, stocked with everything needed to resuscitate and treat life-threatening conditions. She crawled to it, yanking open a drawer, looking for something, anything, to hurt Lanz with. Her mind was thinking syringes and drugs.

But her eyes locked onto the defibrillator.

It was a manual model. Perfect. She flipped it on, cranked it to 970 joules, and grabbed the paddles while the battery charged the capacitor.

“You want something to eat?” Jenny said, pressing the electrodes on either side of Lanz’s head. “Eat this, you son of a bitch.”

The unit beeped, and Jenny pressed the button to deliver the jolt. Lanz screeched, then immediately pulled out of the window. Jenny charged the unit again, waiting for him to return.

The bastard did, jamming himself into the tight space, his outstretched claw swiping at her head. Jenny ducked it, brought up the paddles, and juiced him once more.

He jerked away, but this time he had the presence of mind to take a paddle with him. Jenny pulled on the other end of the wire, struggling not to lose it, but Lanz had weight and strength and he ripped it from her grasp, pulling it out of the defib unit.

One paddle wasn’t enough to complete the circuit, so the weapon was useless. But it didn’t seem to matter.

A minute passed.

Then two.

Dr. Lanz didn’t reappear.

“Is the monster dead?” one of the children wailed.

Jenny didn’t think so. The shock he got was no doubt painful, but probably not fatal.

“I don’t know.”

And she had no desire to check. If he was lying outside the door, dying, that was fine with Jenny. But she wasn’t going to risk peeking through the broken window and getting her face bitten off because Lanz was playing hide and seek.

Better to wait and see.

“Who let me in?” Jenny asked the children.

“I did.”

“What’s your name?”

“Tommy.”

“Tommy, you’re a brave boy. When we get out of here, I’m taking you to the Camp Kookyfoot Waterpark.”

“Can I come too?”

The other two also chimed in the chorus.

“Okay,” Jenny said, “I’m taking you all to Camp Kookyfoot.”

“Is your husband coming too?”

Jenny’s thoughts flashed to Randall. She pictured him trying to balance on an inner tube far too small for his massive frame, that goofy, perpetually confused look on his face.

“Yes. Him too.”

She closed her eyes and prayed the big lug was okay.

Randall

RANDALL was all in favor of the crippled. Not in favor of them being crippled, of course—that would be deranged—but of their rights and stuff. They definitely deserved their own parking spaces and ramps and everything that would let them live normal lives. So when the legless dracula wheeled itself toward him, he felt bad that his first reaction was to laugh.

Not a belly laugh or a “laughing and pointing” type of thing, but it was still a very definite laugh. He couldn’t help himself. The creature just looked so…ridiculous.

As the dracula reached him, Randall stuck out his good foot, stopping the chair from bashing into him, and then gave it a nice big shove. The dracula wheeled backward, jaws snapping.

Randall laughed again.

Now he was relatively certain that his was not the cruel laughter of ridiculing the handicapped, but a more insane sort of laughter—the kind of laughter that would come out of a man whose mind just couldn’t handle all of the shit it had seen tonight.

Yeah, he was losing it.

That was okay. No shame in a little dracula-induced brain-snapping. It was kind of relaxing, actually. Like alcohol without the hangover.

The dracula wheeled forward again.

Randall shoved it backward.

Hell, he could do this all day. Or at least for an hour or two. It’d make a great YouTube video. People would protest the shit out of it, but it would get millions of hits.

Tina shifted her weight on his back. Randall snapped back to reality.

Focus.

When Randall was in fourth grade, his teacher, Mrs. Quimbal, had told him that when he felt his concentration fade from the task at hand, he should imagine red laser beams coming out of his eyes. It had worked. He’d sit there at his desk, imagining red laser beams zapping into his math book, and he’d keep his focus. His grades were still crap, but at least he wasn’t getting into trouble.

Randall imagined red laser beams zapping into the dracula as it wheeled back toward him.

Gotta keep yourself sane. Gotta protect the little girl. If you screw that up, then you’ve lost the one positive thing that could possibly come from this nightmare. Focus. Focus. Focus.

He lifted his good foot to shove the dracula back one last time. Suddenly the dracula pushed itself up with its arms, practically leaping out of the wheelchair and onto Randall. The creature was significantly more threatening when it was latched onto his chest.

“Get off! Get off!” Randall shouted, stumbling backward.

Tina shrieked. For one terrifying moment Randall thought he was going to lose his balance, falling onto his back and crushing the little girl beneath him, but he managed to keep himself upright.

He punched the dracula in the head as hard as he could, getting it right between the eyes. Though a bolt of pain shot through his knuckles and he let out a loud grunt, this did keep the dracula from biting out a sizable chunk of his torso. He couldn’t get at his utility belt with the damn monster wrapped around him like this.

He jerked his body around, trying to shake off the creature, but the thing had an iron grip around him (apparently its lack of legs meant extra strength in its arms) and he couldn’t get it off. Tina, meanwhile, started to slip off his back and wrapped a panicked arm around his neck, immediately cutting off his air supply.

Then, Jenny’s voice: “Randall…”

It took Randall a split second to realize that Jenny had not suddenly appeared in the room with him, but was speaking to him through an intercom. He’d heard that asshole Clay use it earlier. Jenny’s voice was much nicer.

“…I’m still in pediatrics with the children. I need you to…oh my God!”

The message ended.

Randall punched at the dracula again. It tilted its head back and his fist almost plunged into its open mouth, but he struck it in the chin and its teeth clacked together, pinching off a small piece of its tongue.

What did Jenny want him to do?

Come back?

Go for help?

Find some dynamite and blow this whole fucking place to smithereens?

Was something attacking her? Had she died in these last couple of seconds?

He had a mental flash of one of those things—no, three of them—dragging her to the ground, their jaws digging into her flesh, eating her alive as she screamed for Randall to help her and cursed him for abandoning her and the children.

Randall had felt plenty of anger in his life, much of it aimed at Jenny—oh, he’d broken more than one piece of furniture in those days after she left him—but none of it compared to the rage he felt right now, knowing that these creatures might be feasting upon the one love of his life.

He punched the dracula again.

And again.

He wasn’t sure if the blood was from his knuckles or merely on them, but he kept punching that monster until its grip loosened. He tossed it to the floor. It quickly began to crawl toward him, squirming actually, and he kicked it in the head with such force that what little remained of its cheeks split open.

Another kick and it slid several feet across the floor.

The poor amputee had not had the luxury of an electric wheelchair. This meant that its existing source of mobility was relatively lightweight, which meant that Randall was able to pick up the wheelchair and slam it down upon the creature, splattering it underneath the wheels.

God. Randall had never in his life been so politically incorrect.

“It’s okay, Tina,” Randall said. “It’s dead.”

Actually, it wasn’t, the ghastly thing was still writhing around under the wheels, but Randall turned away so the little girl couldn’t see the mess.

Now, what to do? Try to get back to pediatrics? Get Tina to safety and then try to get back to pediatrics? Why hadn’t Jenny said anything else on the intercom? Should he try to find an intercom himself and talk back to her? Should he start searching corpses for cell phones?

Something dropped onto the back of his neck and slipped down his hospital gown.

Then something else. Small, like a pebble.

Or a tooth.

More teeth dropped against the back of Randall’s neck, followed by some warm blood. He couldn’t see Tina, but from the wet sounds of shredding flesh he could picture exactly what was happening to her.

When the hell had she been infected?

All he really wanted to do right now was howl in frustration. Scream and scream and scream and make the whole cruel world go away.

Instead, he speed-limped backward toward the nearest wall and bashed himself into it.

Crunch.

Tina snarled as he smashed her between him and the wall a second time.

Crunch.

She was a tiny little girl, a sick little girl, a helpless little girl, and so the third time he struck the wall she stopped moving. Her hands slipped away from his neck and she dropped onto the floor.

Her skull, and the entire top half of her body, crushed.

He’d done that to a five-year-old girl. A little girl he was supposed to save.

He bellowed. There may have been words in there. He wasn’t sure.

Randall didn’t want to focus. Didn’t want to stay in the moment. Didn’t want to know what was happening to him.

He’d lost Tina. Probably lost Jenny. Hell, he’d even lost his goddamn chainsaw. Why shouldn’t he just march his ass right over to the largest crowd of draculas he could find and offer them his throat? He could rip out a chunk himself, help them out. “Eat up, boys and girls! You might as well get a decent meal out of me—it’s the only value I’m going to contribute to the world today!”

Nobody was going to miss Randall Bolton.

Well, the other lumberjacks might. If he was dead, it would be harder for them to have another hearty laugh at his expense. “Haw, haw, haw. That dumbass Randall couldn’t even save a little girl. Can you believe it? Big guy like that and he can’t even protect an asthmatic five-year-old. Waste of skin and bones. Can’t even hold a chainsaw right.”

No.

Screw that.

He didn’t know that Jenny was dead. Even if her message was interrupted by a dracula, she was strong. She could handle herself. Probably had a six-foot-tall pile of dead draculas in the room with her. And if there was any chance that she was still alive, even a tiny sliver of a fraction of a percentage of a chance, then Randall was going to find her.

He could still hear the legless dracula struggling behind him.

Randall ignored it. He shoved the image of Tina’s corpse out of his mind, then left the Rehabilitation Therapy area. He didn’t care how many of those creatures stood in his way, he was going to get through them—a thousand of them if he had to—until he found his way back to pediatrics and the woman he so desperately…

Randall stopped for a second. Looked to the right and then to the left.

Fuck.

Which way had he come from?

Despite what many people said about him, Randall was not an idiot. But when you were losing blood from popped stitches and carrying a kid on your back and wandering around in barely existent lighting with monsters all around you, it was easy to lose your sense of direction.

All of that for nothing. Jesus. He should’ve just let Tina run off and get eaten by draculas. At least then he’d still be with Jenny, there to protect her from whatever interrupted her intercom message.

Or, he would’ve been there to helplessly bumble around while those things tore his wife apart. That was probably more likely. God, he was pathetic.

No, wait—he wasn’t lost at all. There was a stairwell right next to the swinging door to the rehabilitation area. He hadn’t passed one of those. Good, good. He was back on track. Ha! Those bastards could kill a little girl, but they couldn’t get him lost!

Actually, you killed the little—

Shut up.

He started to turn around, but maybe the stairs were the way to go. Instead of backtracking where he knew there were draculas, he should find a different route back to pediatrics. Up the stairs, across the hall, down the stairs, and get back just in time to put his fist through a dracula’s stomach. Good plan. Solid.

Going up a flight of stairs was gonna hurt.

So what? More pain? Quite honestly, he could barely even feel his injured leg. So long as it remained attached to his body and didn’t collapse like an accordion, he could deal with it.

Accordion music sucked.

He pushed open the door to the stairwell and took his first step up.

So far, so good.

His second step was less good.

He bashed his jaw on the edge of the step as he fell forward. He lay there for a moment, hurting and trying to work up the energy to try again.

Had he lost consciousness?

Nah.

No, wait, yes he had, because now a clawed hand was wrapped around his ankle.

He twisted to see what it was. Holy shit. The legless dracula, covered in blood and with at least one visible internal organ, was still after him. He hadn’t squished it enough.

Randall yanked his foot out of its grasp, kicked it in the head, and then began to crawl up the stairs. He could hear it crawling after him. This had to be a hallucination. No way could he actually be in this situation. This was absolutely batshit insane!

Move! Move! Move!

His leg wasn’t cooperating at all, and the dracula, pulling itself from step to step just using its arms, kept pace with him all the way up to the first landing. Then it grabbed his foot again.

I’m losing a race with somebody who doesn’t have any goddamn legs!

The dracula snarled, opened its mouth wide, and bit at Randall’s foot just as he pulled it free. With those jaws, Randall had no doubt that the creature could take off his entire foot. Maybe not in one bite, but two or three would do the trick for sure.

Can’t get bit. Don’t wanna turn into one of those things!

Randall scooted backward, his butt squeaking against the floor (squeaking just like that damned clown) until his back struck the wall. The dracula, several ropes of bloody drool dangling from its fangs, crawled after him.

Fuck it. He needed to make this problem go away.

Not giving a shit how bad it hurt, Randall forced himself to stand, grabbed the dracula under the shoulders, then heaved it. It bounced on the stairs twice before it hit bottom, where it lay with its neck twisted at a grotesque angle.

Still trying to come after him.

Jesus Christ. He’d just thrown a cripple down a flight of stairs. Dracula or not, Randall was pretty sure that hellfire awaited him in the afterlife.

And now he most definitely gave a shit about how bad it hurt to stand up. Wincing the entire time, Randall made his way up the second half of the stairway, wondering if any hidden cameras would see him should he decide to curl up and cry for a few days.

Finally he made it to the third floor. He stepped out into the hallway, expecting to see something that continued his streak of bad luck. Maybe two, three thousand of those things, all charging him, desperate to avenge their legless brother.

Aw, for God’s sake…

Randall couldn’t honestly say that he’d rather have had two or three thousand draculas waiting for him, but, c’mon, Clay Theel? Really? The dickhead who’d thought that his gun and badge gave him the right to stick his nose into Randall’s business?

Clay was with a frightened-looking woman. Neither had seen him yet. Randall took a deep breath. He couldn’t let that guy see him looking weak. Had to act casual. Maintain his dignity. Nothing he could do about the blood and the ass-exposing hospital gown, but he certainly wasn’t going to let Clay know that he was mourning his failure to save a five-year-old girl.

He steeled himself, tried to think of something sarcastic to say, then walked forward.

Clay

“ALL right. Let’s get you out of here.”

He put his hand on the knob but used the slit window to give the lobby another look-see before stepping out.

“Aw, hell.”

“What?” Shanna said, trying for a peek.

While they were talking, half a dozen monsters had gathered in the lobby. If Clay had only himself to worry about, he might have charged out and given it a go. But with Shanna along…no way.

He put his lips to her ear. “Let’s go back up to the second floor and see if we can find another stairway that doesn’t open on the lobby.”

He let Shanna lead the way up and covered their six, keeping his shotgun trained on the door in case one of those things decided to check out the stairwell.

But when she reached the second-floor landing, she said, “We’ve got a problem.”

Clay reached her side and peeked through the slit and saw what she meant: at least three monsters prowling the hall. One was dressed like a clown, but all its teeth were gone—shattered. Clowns looked weird enough in full light, but in this shadowy half-light, this bugger was about the most terrifying thing Clay had ever seen.

He could feel his temper rising. He sort of prided himself on being able to stay cool in any situation, but he was getting pissed.

“Are we the only people in this goddamn place who haven’t turned?”

Shanna shuddered. “What an awful thought.”

“Okay. The third floor. If it’s the same up there, I’m just gonna have to step out and do some population control.”

But the third-floor looked empty. Clay stepped out, shotgun ready. All clear. He spotted an EXIT sign glowing in the shadows at the end of the hall. He motioned Shanna out of the stairwell and pointed.

“We’ll try that one,” he said, keeping his voice low. No telling what was about and he didn’t want to attract any attention.

She nodded and gripped the strap of his duffel. They hadn’t taken two steps when a loud voice froze them.

“Well, well. If it ain’t Deputy Dawg!”

As he whirled, Clay’s finger tightened on the trigger, ready to fire. When he recognized that asshole Randall Bolton stepping out of the shadows ten feet away, he almost fired anyway.

“Stay right there, Bolton.”

“Or what? You’ll shoot?”

Clay took in Randall’s bloodstained face and hospital gown and didn’t like what he saw. He looked almost crazed.

“Absolutely. You’ve been infected. How long ago?”

“I’m not infected.”

“You got blood all over you.”

“Well, shit, you’ve got blood on you too! Everybody in this goddamn place has blood all over them! You want me to hire some guy in a white coat to scrape this stuff off me and put it under a microscope? This blood ain’t mine!”

“Why should I believe that?”

“Do you see any dracula wounds on me?”

“Maybe on your leg. Looks like that one took a lot of stitches.” Clay, of course, couldn’t even see Randall’s leg wound from the front, but he’d certainly heard about it.

Randall’s eyes narrowed. “You think that’s funny?”

“Hilarious. Whole department knows about Randall Bolton damn near cutting off his own ass. Drunk again?”

He couldn’t remember how many times Jenny had called the department to come and subdue her drunken husband. He had no respect for bums like Randall Bolton.

Randall’s face reddened. At least Clay assumed it did, beneath all of the blood. “Takes a small man to bring up something petty like that when we’re in so much shit. I been dry ninety-seven days now.”

Clay snorted a laugh. “Believe that when I see it.”

Randall took a step toward him. “You’re seeing it right now, you dumb fuck. I’m standing right here.”

“Stay where you are!” Clay raised the shotgun to his shoulder. “You might turn any second now.”

Randall stopped and shook his head. “You know better’n that, Theel. We’ve got monsters everywhere in this place, but you don’t want to deal with that, you just want to wave your gun at me like a schoolyard bully. You think you’re hot shit, but without your badge and your big bad gun, you’re just a coward.”

Clay’s temper had already been frayed when he’d stepped out into the hall. Now it snapped.

“That so? Okay. My badge is off.” He shrugged off his duffel bag and handed Shanna his shotgun and Alice. “And now my big bad guns are gone.”

Shanna stared at him with eyes so wide he could see white all around. “What are you doing?”

“Shanna, meet Jenny’s ex-husband.”

“Never mind him. Are you insane?”

“No, just gonna see who’s a coward.”

“Clayton Theel, you stop this macho bullshit right now!”

“Sure, honey. Right after I stop his bullshit.”

He stepped away from Shanna and faced Randall, raising his right hand and doing the Bruce Lee come-hither thing with his fingers.

Randall stared at him. “Did you get that from a kung fu movie? Are you Chinese now?”

“Are you two kidding?” Shanna said, her voice rising and getting all screechy. “We’re in the middle of a slaughterhouse!”

“If Theel wants me to knock him on his ass in front of his girlfriend, I guess the draculas can wait a little while,” Randall said.

Clay started circling. “Is that what you call them? Not bad for a dumbass.”

Suddenly Shanna was between them as they circled each other. “Stop this! Stop this now!”

Clay looked past her at Randall. “I saw one of your draculas downstairs in a clown suit.”

“Benny?”

“Oh, you’re friends with a clown? Figures. Birds of a feather, and all that. Well, when I finish kicking your ass, I’m going down there and kicking his ass, then I’m gonna dress you in his clown suit.”

“Well, shit, looks like bad circumstances bring out our perverted sides, huh? Should I act like a little choir boy when you dress me up? As for that clown, I greased that rat-fuck son of a bitch but good.”

Something familiar about that line, but Clay couldn’t place it.

“I don’t believe this!” Shanna cried. “You’re trash talking when we should be getting out of here!”

Clay remembered the clown’s broken teeth. “You the one who messed up his teeth?”

“Yeah. Think I may take up dentistry on the side during the slow lumber months.”

Clay was impressed—not about the threat but about the number he’d done on that clown. Wouldn’t ever admit that to Randall, of course.

“Well, there’s plenty more where he came from.”

Randall grinned. “That’s because we got draculas coming outta the walls. They’re coming outta the goddamn walls.”

Clay stopped circling and stared at him. “Aliens?”

“Hell yes Aliens! Beat the shit out of the original.”

“I know. I loved that movie.”

Randall stopped and puffed his chest. “Seen it eighty-three times.”

“Wait-wait-wait!” Shanna said, staring at Randall. “You were quoting some movie?”

“He sure was, honey. You saw it. Aliens, remember? With Newt, the little girl who—”

“You mean there’s two of you?”

Clay wasn’t following. He looked at Randall. “I guess there’s hope for you yet.”

Shanna looked ready to cry. “Can we get out of here, please?”

“Yeah, okay.” Now that he was closer, he noticed Randall didn’t look in exactly top form, anyway. “We’ll settle this some other time.”

“Count on it.”

“You really dry?”

“Bone. Day one hundred coming up.”

If true, he deserved at the very least a pat on the back.

“Well, good for you. Seriously.”

Clay picked up Alice and the shotgun from where Shanna had laid them and shouldered the duffel. As he took Shanna’s hand and started for the end of the hall, he noticed Randall wasn’t following. He stopped.

“You coming?”

He shook his head. “Jenny’s down in pediatrics somewhere.”

“Somewhere?”

“She was with a bunch of kids. I think she’s hiding them.”

Jenny…Clay had always liked Jenny, but Shanna was his number-one priority. And Randall looked kind of all in. He might need a little edge if he was going to bring Jenny out.

“Can you shoot?”

Randall smiled. “Not as good as I chainsaw, but I can pull a trigger.”

Clay hesitated, then walked back to him.

“Here.” He didn’t believe he was doing this, but he handed him Alice. “Four rounds left. She kicks like a mule. Make sure nobody you care about is behind whoever you shoot—or even in the next room.”

Randall looked from the Taurus, to Clay, to the Taurus again. “You sure?”

“Take good care of her. Don’t make me regret this.”

He took one last look at Alice, then turned and walked away, wondering if Randall had enough left in him to get Jenny out on his own. Maybe not.

“Be back ASAP to help you find Jenny,” Clay called over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to do that,” Randall said.

“Yeah, I do.”

Benny the Clown

BENNY the Clown was sad again.

He hurt.

His teeth were gone.

Half of his tongue was also gone, and it made new blood while he licked up what was on his clown suit. His whole mouth was leaking faster than he could lap up the new blood. The taste had made him happy before, and he still wanted MORE MORE MORE but now he hurt too much to be anything more than sad.

He realized that one of his siblings was gnawing on his leg. This made Benny the Clown even sadder.

It was an old woman. Very old. He could kill her.

Benny the Clown killed her.

He drank her blood.

He was happier now.

But it didn’t last. He hurt again.

He hurt so bad that he wanted to rip his face off.

He tried, just a little, but it didn’t make him feel better.

Not at all.

Benny the Clown got up and walked down the hallway, looking around for something to make him happy. The screaming didn’t make him happy. The sobbing didn’t make him happy.

Nothing made him happy.

Except…

He looked at the thing on the floor. He seemed to remember something like it. One of his friends used to juggle them. Or was it his mentor? If he remembered correctly, somebody got badly hurt juggling them, and the other clowns had been sad, even though it was kind of funny.

He picked up the chainsaw and began to lick the blood off the blade.

Nurse Herrick

CARLA relocked the double doors and pushed the dressers back into place.

What a night.

The outbreak.

The doctors gone.

A woman dying on her watch.

Another young woman, by herself, that patient already at seven centimeters.

Could things get any worse?

There was a part of her, growing stronger by the minute, that just wanted to hole up in a supply closet and wait for help to come.

But she couldn’t do that. She had patients depending on her.

A sudden scream erupted from one of the private rooms.

She ran down the hall, the noise getting louder.

Room 12.

Brittany.

Maybe she was finally fully effaced and ready to push?

Carla opened the door. “How we doing, Brit—”

What the hell?

Brittany was pinned to the bed on her back by a little girl.

“Hey!” Carla shouted.

The little girl turned and looked at her and…hissed through a mouthful of hideous canines, her face a bloody wreck.

Carla backpedaled involuntarily out of the room as the little monster hopped off of Brittany and crawled in her direction on all fours, coming faster and faster, talons clicking on the linoleum.

“Lock yourself in, Brittany!” Carla screamed as the girl rose up on two feet and sprinted toward her.

The door to Room 12 slammed shut and Carla heard the deadbolt turn as the little monster leapt at her, talons pointing toward her like a full set of knives.

Hiss-screaming.

Carla lunged out of the way as the girl crashed into the nurses’ station.

The Murray’s baby daughter was screaming at the far end of the corridor, and Carla scrambled back onto her feet and hauled ass toward Stacie’s room as the girl-monster climbed out of the nurses’ station and came after her.

There was a delivery cart against the wall, and she opened the top drawer and grabbed the first thing she touched, a pair of episiotomy scissors—”bajango scissors” she called them on better days. She closed the scissors, took them by the end, turned, and threw them toward the little girl, knowing, even as the blades left her hand spinning end over end and catching glimmers of that weak, blue light, that stuff like this only worked in bad movies.

The little girl suddenly stopped ten feet away and went quiet.

She looked down at her chest where the scissors were embedded, and then up at Carla, and she made a sound like a mewling cat or a depressed banshee.

There was an extension cord in the bottom drawer of the delivery cart, and Carla pulled it out, her hands shaking as they unwound the twist tie.

The little monster-girl sat in the middle of the floor. At first, she’d been trying to pull the blades out of her chest, but her own blood seemed to be distracting her now.

Carla approached slowly.

“I’m Carla,” she said. “What’s your name?”

The monster screeched something unintelligible.

“Well, I’m a nurse, and you look like maybe you’re not feeling so well.”

She was five feet away now, and getting her first look at this perversion of a child, wondering what kind of a virus could cause this. Something worse than Ebola.

Carla had grown up on a ranch ten miles from here, and by God she’d hogtied a calf or two in her day. No this wasn’t anywhere near the same, but similar principles applied. Flip her on her stomach, hard and fast, knee digging into her spine, and get the cord around her wrists. Tie her ankles last.

Three feet away now. She squatted.

God, the closer she got, the more awful this thing looked. This wasn’t a little girl. Not anymore.

Carla slowly uncoiled a four-foot length of cord, the monster eyeing her now with the distrust of a psycho cat, and licking the blood seeping out of her chest with a long, spongy-black tongue.

The Murray’s baby wailed now, grinding down Carla’s nerves.

She had to get back to Stacie.

Now or never.

She tightened her grip on the extension cord and lunged at the little monster, but it recoiled with terrible speed.

Carla felt something puncture the skin of her left arm, and by the time she looked up, the little girl had fled back down the corridor and disappeared around the corner that led to the operating room.

Carla stood up.

The bite to her left arm wasn’t too bad.

Bleeding a little, sure, but considering those awful teeth, it could’ve been so much worse.

She walked a little ways up the corridor and opened the door to the supply closet, grabbed a dose of Pitocin out of the refrigerator, praying it would stop Stacie’s bleeding. She should’ve already had the Pit ready for an IV-push just like she did for every single birth. What a fuck-up. If it didn’t stop Stacie’s bleeding, and without a doctor on hand to intervene surgically, the poor woman didn’t stand a chance.

Lanz

DR. Lanz exited the playroom through the broken window, his head clear and his thoughts surprisingly rational. Perhaps that zap to the head had helped alleviate the urge to feed. Or perhaps he’d sucked enough of his own blood to gain a bit of perspective on things.

Because Lanz had a plan.

It had come to him, semi-formed, while he’d been chewing his fingers. Halfway into gnawing off his thumb, his fangs worrying the proximal phalanx, he’d noticed his breathing had become obstructed. Not because of the injury he was doing to himself, or because of the physical pain involved with chomping on his own flesh and bone.

His breaths were labored because his nose was growing back.

Obviously, his increased metabolism had resulted in preternatural healing powers. It wasn’t unheard of in the animal kingdom to regenerate body parts. Insects, starfish, and newts could all regrow limbs. Humans could regenerate their liver, ribs, and even fingertips.

Which gave Lanz an idea. An extraordinary idea of how to get to Jenny and those delicious little children. Plus, it would result in a bonus energy snack for him. Win-win.

But first he needed clamps and a bone saw.

He loped down the deserted hallway, heading to the Surgery wing, barging into Operating Room A. Unlike the rest of the hospital, which was spackled with gore, this area was so clean it shined.

Lanz would rectify that.

He raided the stainless steel equipment cabinet of two ring-handled bulldog clamps with curved tips, a scalpel with a no. 20 blade, and a nine-inch Saterlee bone saw. The hospital had cordless electric models, but Lanz couldn’t get his finger in the trigger guard with his talons. He’d have to do it the old-fashioned way.

Lanz tore off the remnants of his lab coat and shirt and examined his left shoulder. He could have bitten his arm off without much difficulty, but he wouldn’t be able to get close enough to the glenohumeral joint with his giant teeth. Instead, he awkwardly picked up the scalpel and decided to make his first incision just above the acromion, on the end of the clavical bone. With a deft, precise stroke, he parted the skin and sliced into the deltoid.

When the wound filled up with blood, Lanz’s tongue extended on its own volition and lapped it up.

Even better than a suction hose, he mused.

Cutting deeper, his blade sliced through the coracoacromial ligament, then scraped tender cartilage. Continuing to slurp up his own blood, he wielded the bone saw and nestled it into the wound, between the humerus and the glenohumeral ball joint.

The pain was exquisite, causing him to scream in between bouts of sucking at his own torn flesh. When he finally cut through the ligaments and joint capsule, he finished off with the scalpel, severing the infraspinatus muscle on the underside.

Blood squirted like a fountain, and his insane hunger tempted him to stretch out his own brachial artery and suck it like a straw. Instead, he used the bulldog clamps to seal off the brachial, as well as the cephalic vein.

Once the bleeding was under control, he shoved his severed arm into his mouth, chewing and sucking and drinking every last drop of moisture from it. Then he fell onto all fours (actually all threes) and vacuumed up every bit of blood he’d spilled onto the tile.

Momentarily sated, he examined his handiwork. The wound’s edges were ragged, but already beginning to heal. He decided to leave the clamps on for the time being, fearing that taking them off would make him lose his self-control and drink himself to death.

Lanz had no idea how long it would take his limb to grow back, but he wasn’t concerned. He had plenty of time.

With his arm gone, he’d be able to fit through the tiny window in the storage closet door.

He figured the blood of one adult and four children would sustain him for quite a while.

Benny the Clown

“ISN’T that burning your lips off?” Benny the Clown had asked, in another life.

Rupert shook his head. His lips were cracked and covered with blisters. Either his fire-spitting trick was indeed burning him, or it was a ghastly case of herpes. “It’s not that bad.”

“It looks painful.”

“Sacrifices must be made in the name of show business. Stick with me, Benjamin, and you’ll learn a lot.”

Benjamin hesitated. Rupert had gotten him this gig, and though it didn’t pay anywhere near what he’d made at Office Depot, he didn’t want to risk destroying his career as a children’s entertainer before it even started. But still…

“Y’know, Rupert, most fire eaters don’t use rubbing alcohol. They use something like lamp oil. I mean, your lips are…they’re…I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but what you’re doing could actually…you could get…can I see your tongue?”

“No, you may not. I know it’s unsafe. I’m not stupid. But let me ask you a question, Benjamin: when was the last time you crashed on somebody’s couch and found a bottle of highly purified lamp oil in their bathroom?”

“Never, I guess.”

“Damn right, never. Now how many times have you found a bottle of rubbing alcohol?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever looked.”

“Well I have, and let me tell you, if that house has a woman, it has a bottle of rubbing alcohol. I spend four or five nights a week crashing on a stranger’s couch, and when I leave, they may check their jewelry case, but they aren’t saying ‘Uh-oh, better check the bathroom cabinet to make sure our rubbing alcohol hasn’t been pilfered!’ If you want to be successful at this business, you have to learn to cut expenses. So you go buy your fancy lamp oil if you want, but I’ll stick with a good old fashioned bottle of stolen rubbing alcohol.”

“I’m sorry. Do you really need that much?”

“Tell me, Benjamin, how many chainsaws do I juggle in my act?”

“I haven’t seen it yet.”

“Three. Three chainsaws. What do you think chainsaws run on?”

“Gasoline?”

“Have you seen the price of gas? It’s obscene. Flat-out criminal. But do you know what makes a chainsaw run just as well?”

“Uh, rubbing alcohol?”

“That’s right. You try to siphon gas from your neighbor’s car, you’re going to jail. You steal rubbing alcohol, nobody ever notices.”

“Is it safe to juggle chainsaws that are fueled by…y’know, something that wasn’t really meant to fuel a chainsaw?”

“Haven’t lost a limb yet.”

“Yeah, but that can’t be good for the engine, can it?”

“You need to quit worrying about that kind of stuff,” said Rupert. “Trust me. I’ll groom you into the funniest clown the world has ever seen.”

Benny the Clown licked the last of the blood from the chainsaw blade.

He hurt, but he was happy.

He walked around for a while.

He couldn’t smile any more, but he wanted to smile when he saw what was on the shelf.

He took down the bottle. Stared at it for a while. Tried to remember.

He remembered.

He filled the chainsaw.

He couldn’t wait to use it. It would be funny.

Adam

STANDING on the other side of the double doors, he heard Nurse Herrick locking him out.

Adam started down the corridor, making the sign of the cross as he passed what was left of the nurse in black scrubs who’d been chased down and slaughtered an hour ago.

Felt like so much longer. Like days had elapsed.

The only lights in operation were those over the doorways, and this left long, deep shadows in the spaces between.

Already, he was breathing so fast he had to stop and lean against a wall and close his eyes, slow everything down until the lightheadedness receded.

He went on, down the long, empty hallway, until he came to the waiting area at the end.

Only the thought of Stacie and the blood she needed bolstered him enough to peer around the corner.

Empty.

Dark.

Absolutely quiet.

The rubber soles of his shoes were deafening on the recently-buffed linoleum, so he took them off, abandoned them, and continued on in sockfeet.

End of the hallway, take a right, go to the end of that hall, take a left, on your next right, four doors down, you’ll see a door leading to a stairwell.

He was coming up on the end of this corridor, and he stopped two feet from it.

Listening.

No sound but the lights humming over a doorway just ahead.

He peeked around. There was movement at the far end, two hundred feet away…something dragging itself across the floor.

Adam stepped out into the new corridor, jogging in his socks.

Four doors down, you’ll see a door leading to a stairwell.

He passed the first two doors, perfectly quiet save for the swish of his socks sliding—

Wait.

He slid to a stop.

Footsteps. That’s what he heard. A pack of them pounding the floor, and he’d just started moving again when the first…demon, no other word for it…came tearing around the corner at the far end of the corridor, followed by a dozen others, and they all began to scream and hiss when they saw him, Adam running now, door number three up ahead, then flashing past, door number four still twenty feet in the distance, and it occurred to him that he was actually running toward these things as they momentarily disappeared into a long black shadow.

He torqued his feet to the side like he was making a full stop on skis and skidded just past the door.

The demons close now, getting louder.

He pulled open the door and bolted through, slamming it shut behind him.

Harsh, blue fluorescent light flickered overhead.

Spun around and looked at the door, praying for a lock, but there was none.

He raced down the steps, taking them three and four at a time, hands sliding down the rails, his footfalls clanging on the metal steps.

Go all the way down…

He made it down four flights of stairs, to the ground level, before the door to the stairwell burst open above him, the noise of numerous taloned claws filling this cinderblocked-column with scraping metal and the echoing clang of those demons taking entire flights in a single jump.

The stairs ran out and Adam tore through the door leading into the basement floor…

…into pure and total darkness. No emergency lights, no exit lights, nothing.

When you come out, go left, right, left, and then right again, all the way to the end of the last corridor. You’ll see the sign for the lab. The refrigerators are in back. Grab at least five units of O-positive.

He could still hear those things rushing down the stairwell, and he hurried along for several steps in the dark, expecting at any moment for the basement doors to bang open.

And he kept expecting…

And kept waiting…

A minute passed.

Then two.

He stopped moving.

He could still hear them, but the sounds of their snarling and hissing were fading away.

They’d all run into the hospital lobby.

Thirty seconds later, the silence was back, humming again inside his head.

His legs trembled, and he slid down against the wall until he was sitting on the cold floor. Unshouldered his backpack, hands shaking so badly he could barely unzip it.

He pulled out his Kindle. He’d been reading through the Book of Acts on it, and he couldn’t help but smile at the bible verse on the screen as he turned on the small light that was clipped to the top of the device.

Your word is a lamp unto my feet. A light unto my path.

Oasis

NONE of this was fair! Her Mommy always gave her everything she wanted when she wanted it how she wanted it and as many times as she wanted it and now all these stupid big people like that nurse—

Ooooo. Red candy. She’d missed a drop that was now congealing around the blades of the scissors still sticking out of her chest.

—who wouldn’t let her have any red candy, and you weren’t supposed to run with scissors much less throw them at people!

She crouched under the operating table. Strange how there was no light in the room, and yet she could see everything so perfectly in shades of gray and green.

There was red candy at the other end of this corridor. She was sure of it. The smell was better than cookies baking in the oven.

It called to her.

And in that moment, something occurred to the thing that used to be a little girl, something she’d heard her Mommy tell her Daddy a thousand times before Daddy went to live in Texas.

If you want something, you have to go out and get it. Stop asking people for things. Start taking them. It’s called initiative.

Maybe that’s what she needed.

More initiative.

Quit asking for red candy like a goooooood little girl.

Start taking it.

She had big sharp teeth and razor claws.

She just needed to be a little bit smarter, a little bit braver, and a whole lot meaner.

Clay

THEY made it down to the ground floor without meeting any draculas. Despite the fact that it was Randall’s term, Clay’s brain had latched onto it for the monsters—a perfect fit. The door carried the usual emergency-exit/alarm/blah-blah-blah warning. Well, son, if this wasn’t an emergency, he didn’t know what the fuck was.

Sure enough, bells started ringing as soon as he pushed it open.

He and Shanna stepped out onto a walk on the north side of the main building. No dracula-filled lobby or ER to blast through. Dumb-ass. He should have remembered that the corner stairwell opened directly to the outside.

Free. Safe.

Shanna leaned against him and started to cry. To tell the truth, Clay felt his own throat tightening. He took a deep breath and swallowed a sob of relief.

Shanna was safe. The ER parking lot was just around the corner.

“Let’s find my truck and get you the hell out of here.”

They turned that corner and walked into a circus.

The first thing he saw were three empty state police cars, stopped with their doors open and lights flashing. Parked a short distance away, a white van emblazoned with KDGO with a dish on its roof. A guy with a camera on his shoulder was shooting a woman speaking into a mike.

How the hell—?

Then he realized what had happened. Crime reporters always monitor the police frequencies. They must have heard the sheriff call the staties for help at the hospital. Whatever they said must have sounded newsworthy because they’d sent a video team.

Wup-wup-wup overhead: A KREZ helicopter flew by.

Must have sounded real newsworthy.

He spotted an emergency rig on the far side of the state units. Two EMTs were pulling an empty stretcher from the back of their rig. Why?

Then he saw the six bloody lumps scattered before the ER entrance.

“Oh, shit.”

“What?” Shanna said.

He pointed to the TV truck. “Wait over there.”

He rushed over to the bodies and reached them the same time as the EMTs.

“Stay back!” he yelled.

They froze. Normally they would have ignored him—they had their duty to the injured—but people tend to listen to a bloody man carrying a semi-auto shotgun.

“They need help,” one of the EMTs said, a stocky Hispanic woman.

“They’re dead.”

She pointed. “No. Some of them are moving.”

Clay turned and checked them out. All state cops, all bloodied. Two of them were torn up something fierce and sprawled like rag dolls, but the other four were still breathing and twitching.

“Okay, they’re gonna be dead.”

“You a doctor?”

“No.”

“Then how can you say they’re going to die?”

“I’m not just saying it, I’m guaranteeing it.”

“Listen, we need to get them—”

Clay wriggled his badge holder from his back pocket and flashed his tin. “Deputy Sheriff Clayton Theel. Who called you in?”

The male half of the team pointed skyward at the copter. “The KREZ pilot saw the bodies and radioed it in.”

He pointed to their idling rig. “I’m ordering you to withdraw.”

They glanced at each other, then complied. He turned and saw the reporter and her cameraman approaching.

A good-looking brunette. Clay had seen her on the tube, but usually looking more composed. “I’m Carmen Ro—”

“Yeah, I know. I want your guy here to keep his camera trained on these cops.”

“Why aren’t you letting the EMTs help them?”

“Because in a few minutes, we’re the ones who’re gonna need help.”

“I don’t under—”

One of the staties coughed and lifted his head. He spat half a dozen teeth. Another rolled over, also spitting teeth.

“Here we go.” Clay looked at the cameraman, a young white guy with fuzzy, dirty-blond dreads. “You filming this?”

“It’s not film,” he said with the hint of a sneer. “It’s digital.”

“Whatever. What’s your name, son?”

The sneer vanished. “Um, Tony.”

Clay didn’t have that many years on him, but asking a guy his name and calling him “son’ often took the starch out of them.

“Well, listen, Um-Tony, since you can’t film these guys, your job right now is to digital them.”

Carmen said, “We can’t broadcast victims injured like this, especially police.”

“Well, fine, but it is being recorded somewhere, right?”

Tony nodded.

“No matter what happens,” he told him, “you keep digitaling or whatevering. Got that?”

Another nod.

Clay knew people would think he was crazy if he told them what was going on inside Blessed Crucifixion. So he was going to show them.

A picture was worth a thousand words, right? This video would be worth millions of them.

When the first fangs began ripping through lips and cheeks, Clay heard Carmen cry, “Oh my God!” and the cameraman say, “Holy fucking shit!”

Without looking at them, he said, “Back up, but keep rolling.”

He removed his eyes from the newbie draculas only long enough to check the AA-12’s magazine. Only a dozen shells left. Very little slack. Had to make every shot count. No wastage. He raised it to his shoulder and waited.

Didn’t take long.

The first statie—fully-fanged now, with all ten talons extended—pushed itself to its feet, looked around, then charged the nearest fresh blood—Clay. Much as he disliked state cops, he’d never imagined shooting one. Well, okay, maybe once or twice. The uniform caused Clay to hesitate just a second, then he emptied two twelve-gauge shells at the new dracula when it was two feet from the muzzle. The proximity concentrated the cone of the #4 shot and literally dissolved his head into a spray of blood-and-brain Slurpee.

Behind Clay, Carmen screamed long and loud while something went splat! on the pavement. A quick glance back showed Tony losing lunch.

“Keep filming or you’re next!”

The guy straightened and his camera wobbled as he raised it to his pasty face. “It’s not—”

“Yeah, I know. It’s digital. Just do it.”

He turned back in time to see the second statie dracula leaping through the air—but not at Clay. It landed on its headless fellow and began tearing into it with loud grunts and greedy slurping noises. Clay stepped closer and aimed at the top of its lowered head. Two more twelve-gauge blasts pulverized the brain inside and popped one of its eyes from the socket. Clay took out the next two just as they were starting the change. One blast each did the trick for them. The remaining pair were still down and gave no sign that they were going to change.

Carmen had lost all her reportorial cool. Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Wh-wh-wh-what just happened here?”

“The same thing that’s been happening all over Blessed Crucifixion.” He pointed to Shanna, approaching with tentative steps. “I don’t think anyone can explain, but this woman here can background you some. You’ll have to catch up to her later, though. Right now, she’s on her way home.”

“In what?” the cameraman said. “Check out the tires, man.”

Clay did just that, and found every tire in sight flat.

“Oh, Christ.”

He hurried over to his Suburban and saw that it hadn’t been spared. Four brand-new Goodyear Wrangler SilentArmor tires, ripped to shit.

He kicked at one of them until his leg got tired, then turned and saw Shanna walking his way. Carmen stood back by the truck on her cell phone. He calmed himself and then looked at the hospital. He was going to have to go back in. He didn’t want to, but…

“It’s okay,” she said. “Carmen said I could stay with them.”

“I want you gone.”

“But I can’t go. And help is on the way.”

“What? Another TV crew?”

“No. The news director at the station saw what Tony was recording. He’s calling the state police, the National Guard, even the governor. I told Carmen to tell him to call the CDC too. This has got to be contained.”

Okay, maybe Shanna would be okay. Another look at the hospital. But what about him?

This could be their last time together—ever. He might not make it back from his next trip inside. Had to do this now. Might not ever get another chance.

He dug into his pocket as he turned back to Shanna.

“I want to give you something.”

She shook her head. “I told you: I can’t do it. I can’t shoot anyone.”

“Not a gun.” He held out the ring box. “This.”

Looking confused, she took it and opened it—and gasped when she saw the sparkler.

He didn’t want to die with the ring in his pocket. If it came to that, better she had it, to remember him by.

Shanna

“OH, Clay. Ohmygod!”

It was beautiful, but it was so wrong!

His words filtered through the cotton that had suddenly filled her brainpan.

“I was going to ask you to marry me this weekend—you know, when we were in Denver.”

What? What?

“Get married? This weekend?”

Has he lost it?

He laughed. “No-no. Ask you this weekend—do the whole down-on-one-knee thing. We’ll get married later.”

Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Clay, I—”

“But it doesn’t look like we’re going to Denver, and I won’t get to take a knee here and ask you to marry me, because I know this is a moment every girl dreams about all her life and I want it to be special for you. But I want you to have the ring now. We can talk about getting married later.”

…because I know this is a moment every girl dreams about all her life…

What planet was he from?

God, she was going to break it off with him and there wasn’t going to be any Denver this weekend. How was she going to tell him that she could not accept this ring?

“Clay, I can’t—”

“You can take it. I really, really want you to have it.”

She shook her head and sobbed as she stared at the ring. “Clay…really…”

“If anything happens, I just wanted you to know, beyond any doubt, how I feel about you.”

If anything happens…

What was he talking about? They were out, safe, free from those…draculas.

…I just wanted you to know, beyond any doubt, how I feel about you.

The ring said a whole lot about how he felt, and about how long he expected to go on feeling that way. But she simply could not reciprocate.

“I…I don’t know what to say.”

No lie.

“Not a problem. I understand. Women get overwhelmed with emotion at a time like this.”

She looked into those loving brown eyes…oh, you clueless, clueless man. But then, weren’t most men clueless? She had to tell him now, this instant. She couldn’t let this go one more second.

“Clay…”

But then he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips against hers, and the memory of those lips elsewhere on her body, all over her body, awakened a heat. But before she could respond, he released her.

“Gotta go.”

“What? Where? What are you talking about?”

He cocked his head toward the hospital. “Back inside.”

“Are you crazy? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“Believe me, that’s the last thing I want—not when I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you. But I promised Randall.”

“You don’t even like him.”

“Don’t matter. Told him I’d be back to help him find Jenny. And Jenny’s good people. You know that.”

Yeah, she did, but…

“You said you’re almost out of ammo.”

“For the shotgun, yeah.” He opened the back of his Suburban and reached inside. “But I’ve still got my biggest and baddest.”

He pulled out some contraption that looked like a sawed-off shotgun from outer space.

Shanna blinked. “What is that?”

“An MM-One—a semi-automatic grenade launcher.”

It looked familiar.

“Wasn’t that in one of your movies?”

“Good memory. Christopher Walken carried one in Dogs of War.” He leaned closer. “That’s just another reason we belong together—we love the same movies.”

She felt her eyes roll of their own accord. “Did it ever occur to you that—hey, wait. Did you say grenades?”

“Sure did.”

“Isn’t that kind of extreme? I mean, aren’t you afraid you’ll blow yourself up?”

Clay laughed. “Not a problem.” He patted the gun. “It’s designed to hold a dozen grenades, but I’ve got ‘er loaded with 40-millimeter M576 buckshot rounds. They don’t explode. They’re like giant shotgun shells. Each one unloads twenty-seven balls of double-ought. I don’t expect to have to shoot any of those draculas twice with this baby.”

He transferred his backup ammo for the MM-1 from the duffel to a small backpack and slipped his arms through its straps.

She felt the ring box in her hand and realized this was why he’d given it to her now—he didn’t know if he’d survive. No way she could give it back. At least not now. Send him back inside feeling he had nothing to lose? Uh-uh. She wanted Clay Theel to have every reason to survive.

A brave, decent man stood before her—one of the good guys. And she loved him for that. And, well, for the good sex too. She might not want to marry him, but he’d make someone else an amazing husband.

She’d tell him when he came out.

She hugged him. “Come back to me, Clay.”

He smiled. “Do my damnedest.”

For some reason, as she watched him trot toward the hospital, she began to cry.

Adam

WHEN you come out, go left, right, left, and then right again, all the way to the end of the last corridor. You’ll see the sign for the lab. The refrigerators are in back. Grab at least five units of O-positive.

He must have mixed up one of his rights or lefts, because Adam was lost, wandering through a pitch black corridor guided only by the faint glow from the light, which was fading quickly, its battery drained by some recent sleepless nights spent reading.

Figured he could see, at most, ten feet ahead of him. Same claustrophobic creepiness as driving in dense fog with no idea what might emerge at any moment from the mist.

He passed radiology, coming up on another blind corner.

Adam stopped, because something was coming—a faint scratching noise just around the bend.

He extended his Kindle and in the glow of the light, watched a skinny, gray rat waddle around the corner.

It stopped, sniffed the air, then turned to face Adam.

He tripped over his feet backing away from the rat, which was scurrying toward him now, its head nothing but massive brown fangs that were snapping shut with increasing ferocity the closer it got.

Adam climbed to his feet, thinking, Don’t miss, on the verge of stomping the rat when he realized he only wore socks.

So he kept backing away as the thing came toward him, squeaking and hissing, and after twenty feet of this, he was starting to feel ridiculous. He had the scalpel in his pocket, but that didn’t seem feasible.

“Oh you stupid, ugly rat!” he said.

There were a few chairs along the wall outside of radiology and he picked one of them up and lifted it over his head and brought a wooden leg down on the rat’s rear haunches with a juicy crunch, blood and entrails exploding across the floor.

He lifted the chair again, the rat still scrambling toward him with its forepaws, albeit slower, and crushed its head and teeth and brains, over and over, until it was nothing but a soup of furry, gray-pink globs.

Adam charged on ahead, rounded the next corner, the realization coming that if he didn’t find the lab in the very near future, his wife was going to die.

He was running now, suddenly found himself at the end of the corridor, staring at the word LABORATORY in block letters over a door inset with glass.

He rushed in, past a waiting area and reception desk, through an exam room, until he reached the lab.

Almost no light remained.

He negotiated several desks, work stations and tables boasting microscopes and centrifuges, until he came to a tall refrigerator in the back, still humming off some battery power.

He pulled open the doors and knelt down, letting the weak light fall upon the trays of blood bags, labeled by type.

A+…A-…B+…B-…AB+…AB-…O+

O-positive, yes!

He slid out of his backpack and ripped open the main pouch.

Loaded in six units of chilled O-positive.

He zipped up, stood up, started out of the lab, then stopped.

Hmm.

Ravenous as these things were, maybe it wouldn’t be such a terrible idea to stock up on a little more blood.

No.

A lot more blood.

He transferred the units of O-positive into a smaller pocket, started loading the main pouch with as many blood bags as it would hold, and when he finally zipped the backpack and hoisted it onto his shoulder, it sagged with the weight of thirty units.

Adam started running, made it out of the laboratory and halfway through reception, when his Kindle light finally faded to black.

He froze, waited a moment, thinking his eyes would adjust, that he would be able to see something, but it never happened.

His first instinct was primal, animal panic, a sense of the walls both closing in and spinning until he’d completely lost his bearing.

No. You haven’t lost your bearing. You can’t see, but the doorway is straight ahead. Take it in ten step increments. You can do this. You have to do this.

He left his Kindle on the floor and moved forward with his arms outstretched until they touched the glass inset of the door. Fumbled for the handle, found it, pulled the door open.

When you come out, go left, right, left, and then right again, all the way to the end of the last corridor.

So reverse that.

He stepped out into the corridor, turned left, wandering down the hall with one hand outstretched, the other trailing along the wall. Seemed to take forever to reach the end of it, but his hand finally touched the intersecting wall.

One down, three to go.

He prayed as he walked in the darkness, prayed Stacie would hold on just a little longer, prayed for the safety of his new daughter, prayed for his own—

He stopped.

A noise echoed through one of the corridors behind him—a snarling-hissing, soft at first but getting louder, and then the click of footsteps—no, not footsteps, talonsteps—became prevalent.

These weren’t rats, and there were more than one.

A legion of them.

The fear paralyzed him, his first instinct to run, that sightless disorientation setting back in, his heart racing as they drew closer.

Think, think, think.

He slid out of the backpack.

Clickclickclickclickclickclick…

Felt around for the main pouch’s zipper in the dark, ripped it open, pulled out one of the cold blood bags.

Clickclickclickclickclickclick…

Still couldn’t see a thing, but he heard the sound of talons sliding across the linoleum, those demons skidding as they rounded the corner, wondered how they could still see.

The things that had murdered the nurse up on the third floor had obsessively licked up every drop of blood. This was either going to work, or he was going to die horribly in about ten seconds.

His fingers struggled to tear the pack, but the plastic was too thick, and then he remembered.

Dug the scalpel out of his pocket, and the moment he drew the blade across the top of the plastic bag, those demons started screaming.

Adam shouldered the backpack and came to his feet, backpedaling, holding the blood bag by the top.

Please God let this work. So my wife can live, so I can be a father.

He slung the bag into the darkness, heard it hit thirty feet down with a splatter, and as he turned and sprinted through pure darkness, the shrieking of the demons filled the basement of the hospital, their screams resonating inside his head, and he knew that even if he survived this night, never in his life would he forget that sound.

He crashed so hard into the next wall, he felt his shoulder pop, but he didn’t stop to think about the pain, just righted himself and kept running, gasping so hard for breath he could no longer hear what, if anything, pursued him, and then he crashed into another wall, felt certain he’d bruised or fractured his arm, but all he could think was, This is it. The door to the stairwell, to Stacie, is on this corridor, and he jogged now, running his hand along the wall, trying every door he came to.

Dark.

Dark.

Locked.

Dark.

Locked.

Breathing normally again, finally, but he could hear something coming now, the horrific clicking of the talons just around the corner, one corridor back.

Clickclickclickclickclickclick…

He picked up speed, and ten feet later, came to the next door, which he pulled.

It swung open.

His eyes burned in the flood of light and he rushed into the stairwell and up the steps as the door closed after him.

He got up two flights, then fell to his knees and ripped open the pack again, pulled out four blood bags, zipped up, went on.

By the time he’d reached the second floor landing, he heard the door to the basement bust open beneath him, glanced down, saw one of those demons leap up to the first landing in one bound—a three hundred pound man in a janitor’s uniform who had no business moving at that speed.

Adam reached the penultimate landing as a door leading to the ground floor opened and a stream of demons rushed in and up the steps.

He pounded up the last ten steps and grabbed the first blood bag, cut a rip in the top, and threw it down to the second floor landing.

It struck the metal flooring and blood exploded everywhere, streaking the walls, the steps, demons screaming, a half dozen diving instantly to the floor and trying to lick up what hadn’t seeped through the metal grate, but another half-dozen still coming.

Adam pulled open the door and ran out into the third floor corridor, slicing into another blood bag as he skidded to a stop at the next junction.

He spun around just in time to see the stairwell door fly open, watched at least thirty of those demons fighting their way into the corridor.

Adam slid the blood bag toward them across the floor like an air-hockey disc, blood jetting out across the linoleum, and he was running again, full on sprint, tearing through light and shadow, and as he reached the next junction, he glanced back, still saw a dozen of those monsters chasing him.

He didn’t stop in time to take his next turn under control and slammed into the wall again.

Saw the double doors to the maternity ward a hundred and fifty feet straight ahead, and this made him run faster than he’d ever run in his life.

They were closing on him.

He could hear the talons clicking, and when he dared another glance back, four of those demons had rounded the corner and were moving toward him at a dead run.

Adam made an incision in the final blood bag and hurled it over his shoulder like a grenade, heard the screams and the screeches when it splattered on the floor.

The doors were straight ahead, and he collided with them.

Locked!

Adam pounded on them.

“I’ve got the blood!” he screamed. “Let me in!”

He grabbed the handles and tugged violently on the doors, but the locks held.

Fifty feet down, two of the monsters fought over the empty bag, one slurped the blood off the linoleum, and another had taken notice, again, of Adam.

Adam beat harder against the doors and through the tiny window, saw someone moving toward him past the nurses’ station.

“Hurry!” he screamed.

Glanced back again.

The fourth demon had stood up, still torn between Adam and the bloody floor, its head craning back and forth, back and forth, as if—bird in the hand, Adam, bird in the hand, Adam, and…

…It started forward, working up to a sprint, Adam thinking he should get another blood bag out, but it didn’t matter. There wasn’t time.

On the other side of the door, he heard furniture scooting back across the floor, and the locks sliding out of the ceiling, out of the floor.

“Carla, please,” he begged.

“Got it!”

One of the doors swung back.

Adam stepped inside, his backpack catching on the handle.

Gave it a fierce yank, and then he was inside.

“Help!” Carla screamed, and together they rammed their shoulders into the door, but a talon shot through a split second before it closed.

Adam could feel the terrifying strength of the creature driving them back as those razor talons gripped the side of the door.

“Oh, God!” Carla screamed. “More coming.”

Adam reached into his pocket, fingers curling around the scalpel, and he stabbed the blade into the demon’s claw, dark blood running out onto the floor.

The thing shrieked, its claw retracting for a fleeting second, and the door slammed shut.

“Lock it!” Adam yelled, and he crouched and slid a bolt into its housing in the floor, then reached up and drove the ceiling lock home as a tremendous force crashed into the doors, hinges quivering.

“Your side locked?” he asked.

She nodded. “Let’s push the table back.”

They braced it against the doors as the demons on the other side took turns running at full speed into the barricade, Adam watching the hinges for any sign of weakening, but they seemed to be holding.

He looked over at Carla. “How’s my wife?”

“Not good. We need to get her transfusion going right now.”

They turned away from the barricade, Adam glancing over his shoulder as they hurried down the corridor.

“A little infected girl got inside through the window, so keep a look out,” Carla said, the doors rattling behind them, the monsters calling after them in some demented, primal tongue.

“Where is she?”

“Hiding in the OR. But don’t worry, she isn’t as scary as she looks.”

Jenny

“I’M scared.”

“Me too.”

“I wet my pants again.”

“How about we sing a song?” Jenny asked the children.

She was also pretty frazzled. Since Lanz left, there hadn’t been any other monsters trying to attack them, but a few minutes ago a pack of them had run down the hallway. A large pack, maybe thirty or forty. Jenny knew that on an average day there were over a hundred and fifty patients in the hospital. If you figured maybe eighty people on staff, plus a few dozen visitors, there could be almost three hundred of those things roaming around.

While Jenny had no desire to draw their attention, some quiet singing was probably less harmful than four young boys wailing uncontrollably.

“Does everyone know Old MacDonald?” she asked.

The boys nodded.

“Okay, we’ll start with chicks. And let’s use our indoor voices. Are you all ready? Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-Ohhhh. And on his farm he had some chicks…”

The kids fell in with the E-I-Os. Jenny kept a strained smile on her face and sang through the cluck-clucks, and the moo-moos with the cow, and the oink-oinks with the pig, and just as she began the fourth verse she forgot what the next animal was. A horse? A duck? A dog?

“…and on that farm he had a dog, E-I-E-I-Ohhhh. With a—”

“SCCRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Jenny whipped around and stared, open-mouthed, at the creature at the door.

Lanz had returned.

He was cramming himself into the door’s broken window. But rather than getting stuck this time, his whole body slid through, flopping onto the floor of the closet.

The children screamed in horror. Jenny didn’t think, she reacted. In preparation for an attack, she’d filled every syringe on the crash cart, ten in all.

She was going to stop the fucker’s heart.

She grabbed the first two needles, one in each hand, gripping them in her fists with her thumbs on the plungers. Succinylcholine, a powerful paralytic. Etomidate, an anesthetic. Both went into Lanz’s back, and as Jenny injected him she noticed, with a combination of horror and revulsion, that he was missing his left arm. Two clamps dangled from the fleshy stump, their stainless steel handles clack-clacking against the tile floor.

Lanz screeched again, his remaining hand locking around Jenny’s ankle. She left the needles sticking in his back and reached behind her, managing to snag two more just as he yanked Jenny off her feet.

Fighting the urge to pull away, Jenny sat forward, stabbing him with two more overdoses. Lidocaine and diazapam.

Lanz opened his horrible mouth, his teeth locking onto Jenny’s foot, beginning to chew. She tugged her foot away, pulling free of her shoe, and then scrambled back toward the children.

She’d injected Lanz with enough drugs to put a track team into a coma. But that didn’t seem to matter. Spitting out her gym shoe, Lanz began to slither toward her, eyes wide, mouth wide, his talons outstretched and his massacred face shuddering in what looked like ecstasy.

Lanz

BLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOOD!MUST!HAVE!BLOOD!

The bitch nurse had jabbed him with a few needles, but that didn’t matter. He’d just amputated his own arm without sedation. A few measly shots weren’t going to stop him. Dr. Kurt Lanz M.D. was invincible.

Inching forward on his belly, he undulated in Jenny’s direction. Her terrified face—a rictus mask of pure fear—was delightful. She kept the delicious children behind her, as if she could somehow stop the primal force that was Kurt Lanz using just her sheer will.

He reached forward, stretching out his arm, a talon hooking into the cuff of her pants.

Then things started to get strange.

First, his lungs stopped working. They seized up, unwilling or unable to take a breath.

Then his head began to feel full and heavy, and the floor beneath him seemed to shift.

His vision blurred, going dark along the edges.

The drugs! It’s the drugs! My body can’t metabolize them fast enough!

Lanz snarled, tugging Jenny toward him by her slacks, sliding her across the floor until she straddled his face—an obscene imitation of a sex act.

Blood! Blood will revive me! Blood will get these drugs out of my system!

Lanz stretched open his jaws, ready to bite Jenny’s pelvis in half.

Then something punched into Lanz’s back. Something sharp and cold. He felt it stick up under his scapula, straight into his left ventricle. The pain made him gasp.

“Potassium chloride,” Jenny said.

Potassium chloride?

KCl was used to treat hypokalemia and digitalis poisoning. But in large doses it was the primary drug used in lethal injections for death row inmates.

Potassium chloride stopped the heart!

Lanz moaned, the drug working instantly. He curled up, twitching and spasming, the pain stormtrooping through his entire body in agonizing, dizzying, pounding waves. He vomited, but it wasn’t the contents of his stomach. It was his stomach, hanging inside-out from a slimy loop of esophagus, spilling out the precious blood he’d been digesting.

Even with everything going on, the smell of blood activated his biting reflex, and he chomped down on his own regurgitated organs, screaming as he chewed.

“You always were an asshole, Lanz,” he heard Jenny say.

As his eyes rolled up into his head and his brain kicked out its last few beta waves, Dr. Kurt Lanz MD thought, Smart, smart girl. I probably shouldn’t…have fired her…

Adam

“DID you stop the bleeding?” he asked.

“The Pitocin stopped it, but she’s lost about fifteen hundred milliliters and her vitals are way down.”

They entered Stacie’s room, and something inside of Adam broke apart seeing her still lying unconscious and bloodless in the bed.

“Where’s my daughter?”

“Resting peacefully in the nursery. The blood?”

He took his pack off and unzipped the pouch, handed Herrick the first unit of O-positive.

She already had the intravenous line lodged into Dee’s arm, and she hung the bag on the metal stand’s hook and plugged the IV line into the plastic, Adam watching the line of darkness push down the tube toward his wife’s veins.

He touched the back of his hand to her cheek—clammy and cool.

“Is she going to make it?”

Herrick didn’t answer.

“Nurse?”

Adam glanced over his shoulder.

Herrick stood with her hand cupped to her mouth, spitting blood and…were those teeth?…into the palm of her hand.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She looked up at him, confusion brimming in her eyes. Tried to speak, but more teeth were loosening, and she plucked one of her back molars out—root and all.

Said something that sounded like, “I don’t feel right.”

Adam reached out to touch her shoulder, but she retreated and ran out of the room.

He turned back to Stacie, took her cold hand in his.

“I’ll be right back, sweetie. You’re going to be okay now. Just rest.”

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, and as he turned to leave the room to see what was wrong with Herrick, something standing in the doorway stopped him cold.

A little demon-girl.

“You get out of here,” he said.

She hissed at him.

He noticed a pair of scissors protruding from her chest.

“Go on!” he shouted.

But she didn’t go on. Just stood there, drooling out of those horrific teeth, black eyes gleaming in the blue-glow of the emergency lights, watching him almost like she was gearing herself up for something, and then he realized she wasn’t looking at him.

It was the blood bag.

She moved forward and before he knew what he’d done, Adam swung and hit the little girl with a devastating left hook to the face, felt her nose sink in, his knuckles pop, and she went sliding back across the floor.

Something possessed him—a livid, white-hot jolt of rage, and as the little girl tried to sit up, the minister rushed forward, grabbing a knot of her hair as he shot past, and dragged her out into the corridor.

He could feel her struggling, trying to regain her feet, so he ran harder, hit a full-on sprint as he approached the junction, and then he gave one hard tug and sent the demon-girl careening into the nurses’ station.

She crashed head-first into the wood paneling and lay unmoving on the floor.

Adam could hear noise everywhere now.

From Room 12—Brittany’s room—God-awful screams, figured she was pushing the baby out, and he hoped Nurse Herrick was in with her.

The barricade was rattling, too, a demon trying to squeeze itself through the square window-frame.

The demon-girl jumped to her feet, hit the ground running, coming straight toward Adam, talons out, screeching like some battle cry, and it happened so fast Adam didn’t even react, just let the monster slam into him at full-speed.

They crashed hard to the floor, the little girl’s talons digging through his black pants, pinning him to the linoleum.

He looked down, saw her head moving toward his crotch, those shark teeth snapping.

Adam reached out and grabbed another handful of the little monster’s hair and torqued her head a half second before she decapitated his johnson.

He brought his legs up around her and squeezed her between his thighs, straining to crush her ribcage.

She screamed, tore one of her talons out of his leg and swiped it at his face.

Adam could hear those demons trying to break through the barricade, couldn’t see them from where he lay, but he could hear the ominous crack of wood splintering.

The girl struggled to inch toward him, close enough now that he let go of her hair and started punching—direct, solid blows to her face, her eyes swelling shut as she screamed.

And then suddenly he felt her talons close around his neck, and her face—the nightmare wreck of it—inches from his.

He stared into those black, soulless eyes that glistened with…

…joy…

It was unmistakable.

This little demon-girl looming over him, saliva dripping in long, bloody strings from her fangs, was pleased as punch, as if she’d finally managed to catch her first real prey.

I can’t be killed by a little girl.

Please God.

Not like this.

Wait! Someone had appeared behind the girl—he craned his neck to see who it was as those monsters ravaged the barricade beyond the nurses’ station.

Brittany! It was…Brittany?

Brittany stood in bare feet on the cold linoleum, her head tilted, watching Adam.

Her face had exploded, and her stomach too, and in the cavity a little eight-pound demon with a face full of half-inch razor whites was slowly chewing its way out, Adam thinking…

This is a hell worse than any I ever read about. Please God, please…where are you?

Jenny

IN a night filled with countless horrors, killing Lanz had to be the worst one of all.

Jenny huddled with the children once again, not even knowing what she was saying, but continuing to speak in soothing tones until their hysterics leveled off. Then she found a spare blanket and draped it over Lanz’s body so they wouldn’t have to look at it. She kicked something wet and lumpy—is that his stomach?—underneath the cover and then retreated back to the corner of the storage room.

“It’s okay now,” she said. “We’re all going to be—”

But she heard something that stopped her.

Squeak…

Squeak…

Squeak…

Could it be…?

The boys screaming in unison, so loud and shrill it hurt Jenny’s ears. She whipped her head around, following their shocked stares and saw…

That clown. That damn clown.

It stood next to the window, peering inside. Benny the Clown’s teeth were gone, and it looked like he’d been gumming barbed wire. But the red nose and the fright wig remained, as did patches of white make-up, reflecting multicolored hues of pastel in their glow lights.

Jenny summoned up courage she didn’t know she had and said, “It’s okay, kids. It’s okay. He can’t get in.”

“I hate clowns!”

“That’s not a real clown,” another boy said. “That’s just some guy dressed up like a clown!”

“It’s a monster clown!”

She hugged them. “Don’t worry. The monster clown is out there. We’re in here.”

“He’s doing something!”

Jenny didn’t want to look at the creepy thing again, but she felt compelled to. Benny the Clown was holding something in his hand and waving it into the broken window.

A blue handkerchief?

Squinting at it, Jenny realized it was sticking out of the vest pocket of his clown outfit. Benny the Clown gave the cloth a sudden tug.

The first handkerchief was tied to a second, yellow handkerchief. He fed both through the window and kept pulling.

Attached to it was a red one.

Then a green one.

“Go away, you goddamn clown!” Jenny ordered.

But Benny the Clown continued to pull out handkerchief after handkerchief. Five…ten…fifteen…then…

That’s not a handkerchief.

The next thing he yanked from his pocket was a human spleen.

The spleen was attached to a kidney.

The kidney was attached to a gall bladder.

Then a lung. A bladder. A descending colon. And something that might have been a trachea.

Jenny was speechless. Not only because this horrible perversion was being presented to her and the kids. But because of the effort that went into it. Benny the Clown had taken the time to tie all of these unconnected parts together.

Finally, with flourish, he ended the ghoulish display by tugging out the last organ. A human heart.

Then the bastard actually bowed.

“You sick son of a bitch!” Jenny screamed. “Get the hell away from us!”

But Benny the Clown didn’t go anywhere. He continued to stare at them, as if expecting a round of applause.

Jenny turned away, hugging the children. “Don’t look at him, kids. We don’t have to worry about him. He’s just a big bully, trying to scare you. He doesn’t even have any teeth. He can’t hurt us. The big loser can’t even get in.”

Then Jenny heard a sound that chilled her to the very core.

A sound that was both familiar, and totally out of place.

BRRRR-RRRR-RRRRR-RRRREEEEEEEEEE!

The starting and revving of a chainsaw.

The blade poked through the aluminum door like a finger through a wet tissue.

The children screamed. So did Jenny. She screamed for their lives, and hers, and for Randall’s, because she knew it was her husband’s chainsaw, and he never would have let Benny the Clown take it, which meant he wasn’t going to save her because he was dead.

As Benny the Clown cut the door off its hinges and stepped into the storage closet, Jenny’s biggest regret was that she hadn’t gotten to tell Randall how much she loved him.

Randall

HE hated to admit it, but Randall felt a lot better after his encounter with Clay. The new gun helped. But, really, the guy wasn’t a complete dickhead after all. Oh, he was still a dickhead, but perhaps a smaller one than Randall had originally thought.

Randall turned a corner. The emergency lighting in the corridor wasn’t nearly bright enough to give him a full view of what was happening, but he could see blood all over the floor, and two draculas on their hands and knees, greedily slurping it up.

Two draculas. He had four bullets. If Clay’s advice about making sure that loved ones weren’t behind what you wanted to kill was correct, then Randall could line up his shot carefully and take them both out with a single bullet.

Then again, they seemed really distracted by the blood. And there was a lot of it.

Maybe he could just walk on by. Save a bullet for when he desperately needed it…or at least for when Jenny could see him shoot it.

He kept the gun extended in front of him and picked up his pace as much as he could. The draculas continued slurping up the blood. Hard to believe that Randall was so concerned with the blow to his own dignity when these things—human beings who probably would’ve had a good chuckle at his injury just hours ago—writhed on the floor like animals. Disgusting. Pathetic.

He quickly stepped past them. They didn’t look up from their meal.

How much blood did they need? If you tightened the muscles in your arm just right, you could get a mosquito stuck as it was sucking your blood, and the little bastard could keep drinking and drinking until it popped. He’d love to see one of these draculas pop.

Wow, he’d done it. Walked right by the distracted draculas.

If not for the absolute shitstorm of misery he’d gone through tonight, he’d almost think that the rest of this was going to be easy.

Okay, his mind had more or less returned to where it needed to be to get himself back to Jenny and the other kids. He’d be fine now. Nothing but redemption from this point forward.

He continued down the dark hallway, still ready with the gun.

More blood on the floor. Better not slip on it.

There was some sort of commotion behind a closed door. Randall didn’t open it. He kept moving forward.

He tried to focus on the layout of the hospital. He was a floor above pediatrics, but distance-wise, he hadn’t really gone that far. If there was another stairwell close by (or an elevator, if by any chance they were still working, which they probably weren’t) he’d be in good shape.

A dracula burst through a swinging door, less than ten feet in front of him. He had a pasty complexion and too much gel in his hair. The dracula saw Randall and immediately charged, arms outstretched.

For a split second Randall considered conserving his bullets, but the stupidity level of being ripped apart while holding a handgun was more than he was willing to commit to, so he pulled the trigger. The top half of the dracula’s head virtually exploded. The creature kept running forward for a moment, as if the message that it was dead hadn’t quite reached its legs, and then it collapsed to the floor.

Clay Theel was a man who knew his guns. And that kick felt good.

Randall continued down the hallway, his confidence further boosted. He moved quickly, probably fucking up his numb leg beyond repair, but for right now he didn’t care. There were a lot of shadows, lots of places where something with claws could hide and jump out at him. Though Randall couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t scared, nothing was going to stop him.

Another dracula stepped into view at the end of the hallway. Looked like a teenage girl. She wore a hospital gown, had long blond hair, and much less blood on her than most of the other creatures he’d encountered. Randall imagined that she was rather adorable in her previous life. Not so much now.

She rushed him. He aimed for a spot right between her eyes and pulled the trigger.

His aim wasn’t spot-on, but he got her in the neck. It burst in all directions, her head flopped backward, and she tumbled to the floor just like the other one.

Half of his bullets gone. Damn. Randall needed to pick up the pace.

He reached the end of the hallway. Left or right? Both looked equally spooky. He was pretty sure pediatrics was to the right, so hopefully there’d be a staircase close…

He laughed out loud. There was. Right there. Finally some good luck.

Randall opened the door to the stairwell carefully, half-expecting dozens of draculas to tumble out and make him look dumb for having believed that he was having some good luck. But the stairwell seemed clear.

He sat and scooted down the stairs on his butt. It wasn’t comfortable or dignified, but it got the job done.

When he reached the bottom, he heard some screams.

And a sound that was…familiar. Couldn’t be, though.

As he pulled open the door at the bottom of the steps, the noise became much louder. Thought he had to be imagining this, because it sounded a hell of a lot like a chainsaw.

He stepped into the hallway. Definitely a chainsaw. How in the world…?

Randall walked down the hallway. Yes! This looked familiar! Now he knew exactly where he was! He was getting closer and closer to the sound of the chainsaw, and hoped that it was being put to good use on one or more of those monsters.

There it was. Pediatrics.

He pushed through the door, and the first thing he saw was that goddamn, motherfucking, toothless, unfunny son of a bitch clown holding his chainsaw.

His chainsaw!

This was blasphemy! Fucking blasphemy! You could dunk a cross in a pool of urine while environmentalists burned the American flag and Randall would not have been more outraged than he was at the sight of Benny the Clown holding his precious chainsaw. The grease-painted fuckhead didn’t even know how to hold it properly.

Heroes in the movies that Randall so dearly loved said cool things before they blew away the bad guy. But that would mean a few extra seconds of the clown holding his chainsaw, and that was unacceptable. Randall pointed Clay’s gun at the clown, who stood in front of a closet or something, and pulled the trigger.

Missed completely.

Shit!

Benny the Clown turned to look at him. He tossed the chainsaw from his right hand to his left, and then back again.

What the hell was he trying to do? Juggle?

Somebody inside the closet screamed. Even over the roar of the chainsaw motor, Randall recognized it.

Jenny.

Alive.

Randall was not going to miss a second time. That shiny red nose was just begging to have a bullet rip through it. He stepped forward, focusing on the spot with every bit of concentration he could summon, narrowing the distance between them. He’d fire into that clown’s head from just out of chainsaw range. His brains could make shadow puppets as they scattered against the wall.

He continued walking forward.

Focus…focus…focus…

His foot came down on something slippery and wet.

His legs flew out underneath him and he landed on his ass.

The gun went off, blowing apart a chunk of the ceiling. He winced as a large piece of plaster struck his eye. Dignity, gone.

With his other eye, he saw what he’d slipped on: a tied-together string of guts. What the hell…?

The clown tossed the chainsaw from one hand to the other again, then pointed the blade at Randall and took a big squeaky step forward.

Randall realized that he might very well be about to die, and he was going to die pissed.

He threw Clay’s gun at Benny the Clown.

Missed.

He needed something else to throw.

There wasn’t much in the way of dracula-killing equipment left in his utility belt, but he yanked out a tape measure as he scooted away from the chainsaw-wielding clown. His left eye kept blinking by itself—the falling plaster had really gotten in there.

The large, bloody hole that comprised most of Benny the Clown’s face curled up slightly on one side, as if he were trying to smile.

Randall threw the tape measure. In a battle of chainsaw versus tape measure, Randall would put his money on the chainsaw, but the tape measure was enclosed in metal and he certainly wouldn’t want to get hit in the face with it.

It struck the clown in the forehead.

His head snapped back.

The large, bloody hole curled downward.

Randall kept scooting away. The clown was less hyperactive than the other draculas, but Randall still didn’t want to get in the way of a waving chainsaw. There had to be other stuff to throw at him. Something heavy.

Jenny emerged from the closet, holding a plastic bucket. Randall hoped it was full of acid.

She swung the bucket with both hands, bashing the clown on the back of the head. His shiny red nose popped off and fell to the floor. The clown stumbled forward but maintained his footing. He turned around, chainsaw still roaring.

Sawing up my wife with my chainsaw? I don’t think so.

Randall got up and rushed at him, tackling him like the football player Randall might have been if he hadn’t decided to become a lumberjack. The clown maintained his grip on the chainsaw, damn it, and the two of them spun around in a complete circle.

“Stay with the kids!” Randall shouted at Jenny, praying the kids weren’t all dead.

Jenny hesitated, as if she didn’t want to leave him (was such a thing possible?) but when the chainsaw swung at her head she retreated back into the closet.

Randall grabbed the clown’s arm. He was sure he could tackle him to the floor without much trouble, but that carried the very serious risk of falling on the chainsaw blade. Benny the Clown struggled, trying to twist the chainsaw blade around into Randall’s stomach, and though he was a lot stronger than the clown, Randall felt off-balance and vulnerable.

Fuck it. Who said these draculas were the only things that could bite?

He leaned his head down and sank his teeth into the back of the clown’s neck. He then yanked his head back, tearing off a chunk. A small chunk, but a chunk of dracula clown neck nevertheless.

The clown convulsed.

Randall spat out the flesh.

Then he howled in pain as the goddamn chainsaw blade bounced against the back of his good leg.

Randall let go of the clown and took a step back. It’s okay. Just a superficial cut, he told himself, even though he knew no such thing.

The clown spun around, facing him.

There was no time to turn chickenshit. Randall threw a brutal punch at the clown’s face. His fist landed right in the clown’s open mouth, smacking against the back of his throat. The clown twitched, gagging, then his mouth closed around Randall’s fist.

Sucking on it.

Randall pulled his blood-and-saliva covered fist out and punched him right in his “Benny the Clown Says ‘Let’s Have Fun!’“ button, crumpling the metal.

He still didn’t drop the chainsaw.

In fact, Benny the Clown swung the chainsaw with more enthusiasm than ever, coming unnervingly close to spilling Randall’s insides out onto the floor. The clown swung the roaring weapon back and forth in a wide arc as he walked forward. Randall moved back at an equal pace.

Not enough of a gap between the swings to charge him.

Randall decided to retreat. Get the clown away from Jenny and the kids.

“C’mon, clowny clown!” he shouted, moving back toward the exit to pediatrics. “C’mon, Bozo the Prick! Let’s do this!”

If he ever got to relate this story to others, he’d come up with something better than “Bozo the Prick,” but for now it worked.

The clown followed him as Randall moved into the hallway, wishing that his newly cut leg would hurry up and go numb like his other one.

He picked a door, any door, with the clown in hot pursuit.

Stumbled into some sort of storage room, not much bigger than Jenny’s closet when they’d lived together, with a large metal shelf on each side. No way out except the way he came. Very little room to maneuver.

Randall tried to focus like the Terminator, imagining red lights flashing around the things that might be useful. An android from the future wouldn’t need to stumble around the room, looking for something to kill a clown with.

Benny the Clown’s chainsaw swing very nearly took off Randall’s arm, missing by inches. Randall continued his robot-scan as he tried to keep from being dismembered. In a few more steps he was going to smack against the back wall and be very deeply screwed.

Something caught his attention. Metal tanks in the middle row. He grabbed one of them, not knowing what was inside. How awesome would it be if it was laughing gas?

He threw the tank at the clown. It struck the chainsaw blade, creating a shower of sparks, but that still wasn’t enough to knock it out of his hands. Benny the Clown had one hell of a grip. The tank hit the floor, landing on the valve, and then the tank shot like a rocket, whizzing past Randall’s feet, bashing into the back wall, then spinning in a wild circle. He had to jump out of the way to keep it from tripping him.

Yeah. He could work with this.

The clown stared at the spinning tank. Maybe it reminded him of some sort of circus trick.

Randall grabbed another tank and slammed the nozzle against the shelf. He tried to hold it steady long enough to aim it, but the tank shot out of his hands, and flew straight into Benny the Clown’s stomach. The clown doubled over…and dropped the chainsaw.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

The clown stood back up. No guts exposed, which was disappointing. Randall couldn’t even tell if the clown was in pain, though the tank had to have shattered some ribs.

Deciding that he would stick with what worked, Randall grabbed a third tank. Making sure he gripped it tighter than before so he wouldn’t lose control, he bashed off the nozzle, then lunged at the clown with it.

Poor clowny bastard. What a lousy time to have such a big mouth.

Randall slammed the tank into the clown’s gaping, bloody mouth, then pounded it hard with his fist to get it in a couple more inches. The clown clawed at it and stumbled back against the shelf, knocking over a bunch of medical supplies, including an inhaler.

The clown didn’t exactly inflate—not like a beach ball or anything—but his stomach definitely expanded as if he’d been gobbling down a really big meal, really fast. Randall grabbed his chainsaw from the floor and knew he should get back to Jenny as soon as possible, but he couldn’t look away from what was happening.

Is he really going to…?

Benny the Clown popped.

He stood there for a moment, the inside of his torso carved out all the way to his backbone, and then fell. His final gift of laughter to the world was a short but intense blast of flatulence. It might have been natural, or it might have been him landing on a whoopee cushion. Randall didn’t much care, though dying with a fart sound was a pretty ironical way for a clown to go.

Perhaps once he had been a good clown. A noble clown. But he’d stolen Randall’s chainsaw, and had to die.

My saw!

Randall clenched it tight, close to weeping with relief.

Finally. He had it back.

The motor sounded kind of weird. He wondered what kind of fuel they’d put in it. This baby only ever got premium.

He returned to pediatrics. Jenny had left the closet, and she threw her arms around him and squeezed tight.

“Randall! Oh, thank God! I knew you’d come back!”

“You know you can count on me, babe. Always and forever.”

“Always and forever,” Jenny repeated. And damn if she wasn’t looking at him like she hadn’t in a long time. Like she used to. Bright and happy and lovey-dovey.

Randall felt a bunch of emotions at once. Pride, that he was able to come through for her. Love, that had never faded. And hope.

Hope that they might actually have a future together.

Then Jenny asked, “Where’s the little girl?” and Randall’s spirits sank.

Lie. Tell her that Tina got out safely. You lowered her out a window or tossed her out to some firemen with a trampoline. They took her away in an ambulance. She’ll be fine.

Randall lowered his eyes. The plaster in his left eye started to hurt again. “She didn’t make it.”

Jenny put her hand over her mouth, then nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“But we’re going to save the rest of the kids. I’ve got my saw back. I’m going to cut through these motherfu—” He caught himself. “—motherhuggers all the way to the front door of this place. I’ll lead the way. We’ll all squish together close. You follow behind the kids. We’ll keep moving, I’ll clear our path, and we’ll be okay, I promise.”

“I believe you,” Jenny said. And Randall thought she actually meant it.

He smiled.

“What’s that between your teeth?” Jenny asked.

“Part of the clown. He tasted funny.”

Jenny

JENNY had never been so happy to see Randall. She had so much she wanted to say to him. But her training took precedent over her emotions, and she immediately went into nurse mode.

“We need to wash out your mouth,” Jenny said. “Right now.”

“I said motherhugger, not motherfu—”

“Now, Randall! The infection is bloodborne. We don’t know…”

Her voice caught in her throat. She needed something antiseptic. Hydrogen peroxide, or something that could kill germs.

“Gargle with gas,” she said, pointing at his saw.

Randall stared at her as if she were nuts, but he uncapped the tank on his saw and lifted it to his mouth. When he titled it back, his eyes bugged out.

“Kids, stay by me,” she told the boys. “Now swish it around, Randall. Keep it in there as long as you can stand it.”

Randall’s cheeks bulged side to side. Jenny returned to the storage room for two compression bandages, and bent down, wrapping up Randall’s old chainsaw wound, and his new chainsaw wound. Neither was pretty, but he’d live.

“Mmmm-mmm-bbmbmb,” Randall said.

“Yeah, you can spit.”

He turned his head, ejecting a stream of pink liquid.

“Rubbing alcohol,” he said, after clearing his throat. “What kind of person would put rubbing alcohol in a man’s chainsaw?” He quickly looked down at Jenny. “But I didn’t swallow any. I’ve been dry—”

“For ninety-seven days,” Jenny said. “I know. And when we get out of here, I think we should go somewhere to celebrate your sobriety.”

Randall’s face brightened. “You mean, like a date?”

“I promised the boys here I’d take them to Camp Kookyfoot, and that you’d come with us. But I was thinking of someplace more immediate.”

“Like where?”

Jenny wound tape around the bandage. “I was thinking as soon as we get out of here, we go straight to my place.”

“Your place?”

Jenny nodded, feeling her whole body grow warm. “Randall Bolton, this is one lady who knows how to show appreciation for a man who comes to her rescue.” She lowered her voice. “I’m going to do things to you that will make your toes curl.”

“Jenny,” he said, “Don’t talk to me like that in front of the kids.”

Jenny stood up, locking eyes with her husband. “This is the part in all your movies where the hero kisses the girl.”

Randall hacked spit once more over his shoulder, wiped his mouth on the back of his arm, and planted one on Jenny that was so passionate it made her toes curl.

When they both came up for air, Jenny knew the moment was right to tell him that she still loved the big lug, and she wanted to give their relationship another shot. But Randall seemed to suddenly realize that they were still in grave danger. He looked away from her and at the kids.

“Everybody stay close,” he told the four boys. “I don’t have any fancy hand grenades, but none of those boogeymen are going to get past my saw, okay?”

The boys all nodded, their eyes wide and terrified.

“Everyone put your hands on the waist of the person next to you. We’re not going to lose anybody. I’ll take the lead, and Jenny will be squished up right behind you. Is everybody okay with that? Good.”

Jenny knew they had to get moving, but she didn’t want to lose this moment. “Randall, I—”

An explosion rocked the hallway.

“Get behind me,” Randall said, stepping in front of Jenny and urging his chainsaw to life with a quick pull of the cord.

Moorecook

MORTIMER spat out the last of his fangs, watching it drop onto the tile floor. He tore at the remnants of his underwear, and his naked, gore-slicked body doubled-over.

His distended belly—laden with blood only moments before—began to flatten. He screamed as his spine twisted, the vertebrae cracking like exploding popcorn.

Water. He needed water, and a place to hide while his body continued to change into its new form.

As the long muscle fibers in his legs broke down and realigned themselves, Mortimer half- ran/half-stumbled through the hallway, coming upon a door that read LAUNDRY. He threw himself inside, rolling across the floor, crying out as every nerve in his body seemed to catch on fire.

But this wasn’t the pain of death.

It was the pain of rebirth.

Even as he writhed, Mortimer could feel his brand new teeth growing in.

Clay

HE was puffing by the time he reached the third floor landing. He knew he didn’t exercise as much as he should, but was he this out of shape? Or was it plain old fear stealing his wind and making his heart pound like this? Because with each flight he was realizing more and more what a stupid stunt this was. Should have listened to Shanna and waited. First thing they teach you is always wait for backup. But waiting hadn’t seemed an option. The situation in Blessed Crucifixion wasn’t just deteriorating, it had run off the edge of a cliff.

But he couldn’t back off now, couldn’t return to that parking lot with his tail between his legs. What would his daddy say? Well, he’d say what he always said: A Theel don’t back down, not from no one, not from nothin’—’specially from a commie.

Well, these things weren’t commies. They were worse. They were a disease. They had to be wiped out and—

A hiss and a silhouetted shape diving at him from the next flight.

Clay had the MM-1 held at ready. All he had to do was pull the trigger. Which he did. The kick was a helluva lot more than the nearly recoilless AA-12. A good thing, because it lifted the barrel. Instead of a center-of-mass hit, the double ought tore a hole in the dracula’s upper chest, flinging it back and taking a good chunk of its spine out through the exit wound.

It sprawled on the steps, gnashing its teeth, unable to move its legs and only enough nerve supply to its arms to twitch its talons. A head shot would finish it off, but Clay needed to conserve ammo.

Most of all, he had to save one round for himself, in case he got bit. No way he was ending up like these folks.

He left the dracula behind and continued up.

On the fourth-floor landing he peeked through the little window and saw…nothing. Absolutely nothing. Black as the inside of a coffin.

Shit. He hadn’t thought to bring a light. His Maglite was back in his cruiser in the sheriff’s parking lot. Wait…

He pulled out his cell phone. He’d charged it up for the weekend trip. He hit a button and the display lit. Wimpy illumination, but it would have to do. With the MM-1 in his right hand and the phone in his left, he pushed through into the darkness…

Which swallowed the feeble glow from his phone. He took a step forward and heard glass crunch under his shoe. One or more of the draculas had smashed all the battery-powered lights. He couldn’t see shit. He had no idea what was lying in wait.

Okay, new plan.

He backed into the stairwell again and pulled off his backpack. He pawed through his backup ammo for the MM-1 until he came to his one and only M583—a white star parachute flare. He removed the empty from the drum and inserted the flare. Problem solved.

He’d fire this baby down the hall. It would light up when it hit the far wall and give him forty seconds of 90,000 candlepower illumination to get the lay of the land.

Yeah.

He stepped back into the dark, raised the launcher, and thought he heard a noise. He hit a button on his phone and—

“Shit!”

A dracula, jaws agape, was four feet away and closing fast.

Clay pulled the trigger. The white star round hit the thing in the face, smashing through his teeth and into the back of his throat, lifting him off his feet. As he staggered back, the flare’s little twenty-inch parachute popped out of his mouth and opened. The four-second delay ran out and the flare lit, illuminating the inside of the dracula’s head like a paper lantern. Clay could see the brain boiling before the skull exploded.

The flare rolled free, revealing half a dozen draculas lying in wait. A trio of those leaped on their fallen comrade while the other three charged. Clay let the lead pair get close and put them both down with one round, then laid out the third with another. They weren’t dead, but they were disabled, and that was as good as being goners, because their buddies were already on them, chowing down.

Now what? Could he sneak by the others without wasting precious ammo? The flare glare revealed a sign next to the stairway door. A floor directory. He spotted the word Pediatrics. Shit, it was on Two. He was on the wrong damn floor.

He slipped back into the stairwell and headed down.

Shanna

SHE stood by Clay’s suburban, watching the dark, blocky mass of the hospital. A faint, faint glow lit some of the windows, probably backwash from the emergency lights in the hallways, but for the most part it looked dead and deserted. But looks were deceiving. She knew it crawled with—what had Jenny’s ex called them? Draculas. Right. Jenny and her ex were in there—still human, she hoped—and so was Clay.

She prayed for his safe return. Yes, she was going to break his heart when he did, but she wanted him back. Because somehow the world seemed a better place with Clay than without him.

Ten minutes ago the army had roared in and heavily-armed soldiers had piled out of their trucks. A large black trailer had followed the soldiers into the lot but had parked away toward the rear. The people who had emerged were civilians.

And then something scary: The army set up spotlights at the emergency entrance, around the main entrance, and at each stairwell exit. Then they’d positioned soldiers with flame throwers at each point. Looked like they’d been convinced it was contagious. She’d expected officialdom to scoff at the stories of what had gone on in the hospital, but she guessed the recording Clay had insisted on making had convinced them.

Well, she’d never said he was a dummy, just not on her wavelength.

Just then, to her right at the corner of the building, flames lit the night.

Screams echoed, died.

Her heart stumbled over a beat. That was the door she and Clay had used to escape, the door he’d re-entered. They wouldn’t have burned him by mistake, would they? No…those screams had had an unearthly quality. Had to be draculas trying to escape the building. Still…

Clay

On the way down, he passed the dracula he’d shot near the third-floor landing, still where he’d left him, still hissing and twitching its talons.

“Yo, Twitchy. How goes it?”

He passed him and continued down. As he approached the door to the second floor, he heard a raw buzzing coming from the far side. Almost sounded like—

The door blew open and the sound assaulted Clay. He almost fired at the shape plunging through when he recognized Randall and his chainsaw.

“Shit, Bolton! I almost—”

“Watch your mouth,” he said. “Got kids with me.”

And sure enough, four kids crowded into the stairwell behind him, followed by Jenny.

“Oh, Clay,” she said. “Am I glad to see you.”

Clay nodded. This was going to be easier than he thought.

Randall was staring at the MM-1. “Whoa. What’s that? Looks like a pregnant Tommy gun.”

“Let’s hope we can get out of here without using it. There’s an exit door just two flights down. Follow—”

A noise below, like a door slamming open, then a blast of firelight and hideous screams. Clay pelted down to the next landing and saw two flaming draculas writhing on the floor, screeching as they burned. Black, oily smoke rose, filling the stairwell. He hurried back up.

“What happened? What’s burning?”

“A couple of our friends.”

“What?” Jenny said. “How?”

“Don’t know, don’t want to find out. We need to find another way.”

“Another way where?”

“The roof. I saw a TV helicopter. I’ll call it down to pick us up.”

“No TV copter’s going to hold us,” Randall said.

“The kids, then. The kids, then us.”

“Yes!” Jenny said, grabbing Randall’s arm. “The roof. We’ll be safe up there till help comes.”

Clay didn’t necessarily agree with that, but the roof held their best chance.

Randall hesitated a second, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll lead. But…” He was staring at Clay. “You came back…to a place like this. Why? A man like you…why?”

A man like you? Clay was going to tell him to fuck off when he remembered. “Magnificent Seven, right?”

Randall’s mouth twisted as he nodded.

“Oh, don’t tell me,” Jenny said. “Tell me you’re not—”

“ ‘I’m afraid you’ve misjudged me,’ “ Clay said.

Randall did the pistol point. “Magnum Force.”

“I’m telling Shanna!”

Randall gave him an appraising look. “You said you’d be back and here you are. Either you’re as stupid as everybody says I am, or you’re some kinda guy.” He stuck out his hand.

Clay shook it. “The safe bet is stupid. Man, you look just like I feel.”

Randall barked a laugh as he started limping up the steps. “Aliens again. You’re all right, Deputy Dawg.” He turned back to the kids. “I’m gonna lead the way up. Everybody stay as close together as you can. Remember not to let go of the person in front of you.”

The kids stayed behind Randall and Jenny stayed behind the kids. Clay brought up the rear.

“You’re not staring at Jenny’s butt are you?” Randall called from above.

Well, when not checking behind him, yeah, he was. Nice butt. Not going to tell Randall, though.

“Would if I could, but this smoke…”

The draculas below had stopped screeching—at least Clay couldn’t hear them over Randall’s idling chainsaw—but apparently they continued to burn. Foul, stinking smoke thickened in the stairwell.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” one of the boys said.

“Hang in there,” Jenny told him. “Soon we’ll have all the fresh air we need.”

As Randall reached the third-floor landing, the door burst open and a dracula leaped through and ran straight into Randall’s blade. The children screamed in panic and turned. They would have all tumbled head over heels down the stairs had Jenny and Clay not been there to catch them.

Randall gunned the saw and cut right though the thing’s head. It crumpled in the doorway, keeping it from closing.

“Don’t look!” Jenny said as she ushered the kids by.

Clay said, “And don’t worry about Twitchy up near the next landing. He’s harmless.”

He’d paused at the door to kick the dead dracula back through so he could close it, when he thought he heard a very human scream from somewhere down the hall.

He froze and listened. With Randall’s chainsaw buzzing he couldn’t be sure—

There! Again. No doubt now.

He looked up the stairs at Jenny’s butt. The way it swayed as it retreated reminded him how badly he really wanted to get back to Shanna and—

A third scream.

Shit!

“Hey, Bolton,” he called. “I think someone’s in trouble here. I’m gonna take a look.”

Jenny turned and stared at him. “Really?”

“Yeah. What floor is this?”

“OB.”

“Like babies and stuff?”

“Exactly like babies and stuff.”

Double shit.

“See you upstairs. When you get up there, call KREZ and say Deputy Clay Theel wants them to land their copter on the roof. You’ve got sick kids that need evacuating.”

“What if they won’t?”

“A news station passing up the chance to be heroes and make news instead of just reporting it? What do you think?”

“Will do. But you be careful.”

“Careful is my middle name.”

Actually, Clay’s middle name was Rambo, but tonight he’d make it Careful. Rambo…sheesh. His daddy loved that movie, but he hoped Shanna never found out.

“Hey, Bolton,” he called. “Any shots left in that Taurus?”

Randall was out of sight but his words echoed back. “Used them all.”

“Good man. Keep my baby safe.”

“Um, I had to leave it.”

“What?” Clay couldn’t believe this. “You left Alice?”

“Alice?”

“My Taurus!”

“Well, it was empty and—”

“Alice is a Taurus Raging Bull four-fifty-four Casull, the most powerful handgun in the world—”

“And would blow your head clean off…I know. But it—she would’ve made a lousy club. Sorry.”

Sorry? Sorry didn’t cut it. Alice was—

Another scream from down the hall. Damn. Okay, he’d worry about his baby later.

He quickly reloaded the MM-1, making sure each of the twelve chambers in the cylinder had a live round, then headed down the hall.

Randall

“WE need to change this up,” Randall said, stopping and looking back at Jenny. “Can you take the lead? I’ll make sure they don’t hit us from the rear.”

Jenny looked a bit confused, but nodded. “Sure. Why?”

“I’m not so good with stairs right now. I don’t want to fall and crush anybody.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little dizzy. If I fall, it’ll be better if I’m in the back.”

“All right.” Jenny appeared concerned as Randall stepped out of the way and let her get in front, but she said nothing else. They resumed their ascent. Randall felt like he was slowing them down and almost told them to leave him and go on ahead…but, no, it was better to move at his slow pace if he could help keep them safe.

They’d all be fine.

Happy endings for all.

As far as Randall was concerned, if you couldn’t defend four boys from a dracula invasion with a roaring chainsaw, then you didn’t deserve to carry a roaring chainsaw, right? He’d get them and Jenny to the roof, no problem. Then they’d all get rescued, drop the kids off at a fun water slide, get his leg patched up, and hurry back to Jenny’s place. A quick stop at the kitchen for a couple of cold beverages, and then they’d stampede into her bedroom. She’d have to be on top because of his injuries, but he could live with the bottom position until he healed up. They’d get remarried, take their honeymoon on a luxury cruise through Alaska, and have a daughter who looked just like Tina, who would go on to live a long, healthy life.

An excellent plan.

He knew it wasn’t really going to happen like that. Hell, ten seconds after they flew off in that helicopter, Jenny might say “Oh, sorry, Randall, but you can’t expect me to honor something I said while we were in the midst of a dracula attack. I can’t be with you.” Then she’d use a big word that she knew he didn’t understand, laugh about his injured leg (legs now, goddamn it), and rush off for a Clay/Jenny/Shanna threeway.

Jesus. What was wrong with him?

He knew exactly what was wrong. Right now, almost every part of his body hurt, but what concerned him most wasn’t the parts that hurt, it was the part that tingled.

A mild, unpleasant tingle, like that moment after you’d had a filling when the Novocain was just starting to wear off.

A tingle right under his teeth.

Shit.

Why the hell had he bit the clown? What kind of stupid idiot would do a thing like that? He’d saved the woman he loved, was probably going to save a bunch of kids, and he might have irreparably fucked it up by getting caught up in the heat of battle.

Or not. They didn’t know how this dracula stuff worked. They couldn’t. Not this quick. Blood might not have anything to do with it. There could be some fuckin’ sorcerer in the basement, waving his Harry Potter wand and creating these things. And he’d washed his mouth out with rubbing alcohol.

He wasn’t necessarily screwed.

Jenny glanced back at him.

He smiled. See? No dracula teeth.

He was fine. The tingling meant nothing. Could be anything. It wasn’t even that bad. He could barely feel it unless he concentrated. No way was he going to get this far, go through this much crap, and ruin his happy ending. Randall Bolton was going to be a hero, a muscle-bound lumberjack taking out dozens of monsters with his trusty chainsaw, not the asshole who turned into one of them.

Or the asshole who suspected that something was happening and didn’t tell anyone.

“Jenny…?”

She stopped. “Yes?”

“No, keep moving. We’ll talk while we walk.” His mouth had gone dry. “Jenny, I…I really shouldn’t have bit that clown.”

“Oh, God.”

“No, no, no, don’t panic. I’m not…I haven’t…I think I’m fine. None of the other draculas are as big as me, and it would take longer to affect me even if I were…I think you were right, swishing around that rubbing alcohol helped, but I just…I didn’t want to not say anything, in case, but I swear I feel fine.”

They passed the next landing. At least there were no draculas in the stairwell. That was something.

Almost there.

Almost to the magical helicopter that would whisk them away from all this.

“I just want you to know, I’m not gonna be dumb about this if anything happens,” Randall said, hoping that the kids didn’t pick up on what they were talking about. “I’ll never hurt you. I promise.”

“I know.”

He was just overreacting. He posed no danger to anybody but the draculas. Hell, he was going to get Jenny and the kids out of danger, not put them in—

No.

No!

He wanted to scream as one of his bottom teeth fell out.

Clay

HE came to an intersection and stopped, unsure of whether to keep going straight ahead, or take the hall to the right. A cry of pain to the right—a man’s voice—firmed up the decision. He made the turn and increased his pace to a trot. At the end of the hall he came upon half a dozen draculas pounding and clawing at a door, slamming themselves against it. That could mean only one thing: live humans on the other side.

As Clay raised the launcher, he heard a loud CRACK! and saw the doors start to swing inward. No time to lose and he had to make every shot count. The buckshot rounds turned the MM-1 from a grenade launcher into a super-size sawed-off shotgun. He didn’t even want to guess at the gauge of something that fired a 40mm shell—two, maybe? No matter. Sawed-offs were great at close range, crap at long range because the cone of shot spread so rapidly.

So he stepped up behind the draculas, squared off around six feet from their clustered backs as they began to push the doors in against whatever was barricaded on the far side, and fired high. The first shot put four of them down, totally ruining the heads of two and carving good chunks out of two more. He angled a little to the right and fired again, splattering the brains of two more, then pulled his Glock from the small of his back. He had three backup magazines of .40 cal hollowpoints for the pistol, so might as well use that for coup-de-grâce duty. He double-tapped the skulls of the two draculas that were down but still kicking, then stepped into a new corner of hell.

The first thing he saw was a guy in a clerical collar on his back on the floor holding off a mini-dracula in a party dress.

Aw, no. A kid.

It got worse. Approaching the minister and the mini was another female dracula, this one full grown, but it had a baby dracula chewing through her stomach like the creature in Alien. Looked like some human-kangaroo mutant with her baby in a pouch. Clay stood frozen in horror. He’d seen some awful things today, but this…this…he had no words for this.

He shook himself. What to do? The minister’s most immediate problem was the girl-dracula. Couldn’t use the MM-1without taking out the minister too, but he still had his Glock in hand, so—

The momma-dracula solved the problem for everyone, grabbing the girl-dracula by both sides of her head and ripping her off the minister. The girl-dracula screeched in rage but only for an instant. The screech was replaced by a sickening crunch of bone as the momma-dracula gave her head a full one-eighty twist. Then another. Girl-dracula’s head faced front again but her jaws had gone slack and her eyes were rolled up in her head. Then momma-dracula bit her throat. As blood squirted, she pressed girl-dracula against her ruptured belly where baby-dracula began to suck.

Clay couldn’t take any more. He pulled the trigger twice and blew all three to pieces.

He shuddered, feeling sick. He’d just killed a little girl, a new mother, and her—what?—nursing baby.

He shook it off. No, they weren’t people anymore. They’d become things. He’d done them a favor.

So how come he felt so rotten?

Clay was stepping forward to help the minister when he caught a flash of movement to his right. Another female dracula, this one in a nurse’s uniform, was charging him. As Clay swiveled the MM-1 and fired, he heard the minister yell, “Carla, no!”

Carla stumbled a step but kept coming, her head intact, but her face a pincushion mass of darts.

“Crap!”

He’d mistakenly loaded a Beehive round into the launcher. He’d been taking one along to Denver as a novelty. It fired a swarm of forty-some steel flechettes. Beehives weren’t used much because of their low stopping power, which was being demonstrated right now as the dracula lunged at him. Clay ducked to the side and she went right by, talons raking empty air. The flechettes hadn’t stopped her, but multiple darts in her eyes had blinded her. He waited till she wheeled around, then blew her away.

He helped the bloodied minister to his feet.

“You okay, padre?”

“I think so.” He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off what was left of momma-dracula. “Poor Brittany.”

Clay was doing a slow turn, looking for more surprises.

“Let’s get you out of here.”

“No—my wife and baby!”

Clay glanced at the momma-dracula, then away. “Oh, God, I…I…”

“Oh, they’re fine.” His face fell. “Well, not really. Stacie lost a lot of blood after delivery. She’s getting transfused now and—”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“Can she walk?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Why?”

Clay pointed back the way he came in. “Because those doors aren’t stopping anything anymore.”

As if to prove the point, a dracula came around the corner, saw them, and charged. It looked like it was going for the dead draculas, but Clay let it get within six feet, then blew its head off anyway.

The only good dracula…

The minister looked both repulsed and impressed. “That makes it look so easy. Almost doesn’t seem fair.”

“Like my daddy likes to say, ‘If you find yourself in a fair fight, you obviously didn’t plan right.’ Besides, ‘fair’ is a matter of opinion, depending on what side you’re on. These things here probably think it’s unfair you’ve got all this blood running around inside you and won’t share it. Anyway, it’s not safe here. We need to get your wife to the roof.”

“Roof?” The minister shook his head. “Gosh, I don’t know…”

“Good chance a copter will be doing pick-ups. Women and children first.”

Sudden resolve solidified his expression. “Really? Then we’ve got to get her up there.”

Clay followed him into a room where a pale young woman—so pale she faded into the sheets—lay in bed with a blood pack dripping into her arm.

Clay shook his head. No way this gal was walking up to the roof. He glanced at the minister. Kind of scrawny.

“She’ll need to be carried, padre.”

“We can get a gurney and—”

“The elevators are out and a gurney will never make the turns in the stairwells. I’ll carry her. You take the baby and my Glock—”

“No! I couldn’t!”

“Jesus! Another one!” He sounded like Shanna.

“Please don’t take the Lord’s name in—”

“Jesus could have used a Glock. Wouldn’t have wound up with see-through hands and feet if he’d had one.”

“Please, deputy…”

“All right, all right. Here’s what we’re gonna do…”

“All set?”

The minister nodded. Clay had learned his name was Adam, his wife was Stacie, and their screaming newborn—swathed in a baby blanket and cradled in the crook of Clay’s left arm—was Daniella. As per Clay’s instructions, Adam had stuffed her ears with cotton. Clay knew his own ears would never be the same after today, might as well give the kid’s a break. While Adam had stuffed cotton, Clay had stuffed rounds into the MM-1’s cylinder. He was just about out of ammo. Only two buckshot rounds as backup for the dozen in the cylinder. He had the two H-E rounds but they had no practical use.

Stacie groaned from her place on Adam’s back, but didn’t open her eyes.

They’d transferred Stacie to a gurney, hanging her blood bag from an IV pole and leaving her blood-soaked mattress behind. They rolled her to the stairwell door where Adam tried to carry her in his arms, but her dead weight was too much for his left arm. He’d messed it up going for the blood. But still he insisted on carrying her, so Clay helped get her onto his back and wrapped adhesive tape around them to hold her in place.

So, Adam stood ready with his elbows hooked under the backs of Stacie’s knees. Clay, with Daniella in his left arm, the MM-1 in his right, and the tab atop the blood bag clamped between his teeth, led the way up. As long as he stayed higher than Stacie, gravity would keep the blood running into her arm.

“Stay close, padre,” he said through his clenched teeth and over the baby’s wails. “We’ve got four flights to go and then we’re home free.”

The baby had to be hungry—no one left on the OB floor to feed it, and she sure wasn’t going to get much from her mother. He just hoped its cries didn’t attract any draculas. Spraying double-ought shot in a stairwell was a last resort.

He heard a door squeak open below, turned and looked over Adam’s head. A dracula leaped through the doorway onto the landing below, followed by another. They’d heard Daniella.

“Shit!”

Keeping Daniella in his left arm, he gripped the barrel of the launcher with his left hand and used his right to take the blood pouch from between his teeth and shove it between Stacie’s chest and Adam’s back. Then he pressed against the railing to let Adam pass.

“Keep on going. Move your ass. I’ll slow them down.”

“But Daniella—!”

“I’ve got her. You’ve got all you can handle. Just keep moving!”

The minister lacked the wind to say much else, so he kept on a-trudgin’. As soon as he was past, Clay clutched the MM-1 by its rear pistol grip and dangled it over the railing. A heavy sucker—especially with a full cylinder—designed for two-handed use. It kicked and all of its weight was forward of the trigger—hence the second pistol grip on the front end of the stock. Clay had only one free hand. He had strong wrists, but not strong enough to fire the launcher one-handed—unless he was firing it downward.

“Hey, ugly!” he shouted to the lead dracula as it spotted him and rushed up the flight below.

It looked up, its face not twelve inches from the muzzle of the launcher.

“Say hello to my leetle fren’.”

Clay fired, splattering its head all over its torso and the stairs with virtually no shot scatter. The second leaped upon it and began feasting. Clay didn’t want to leave it there, because he heard more coming, so he started shouting at the top of his voice, and when the second looked up, it got the same as its buddy.

Daniella had probably increased her screaming, but Clay couldn’t hear her over the ringing in his ears. He carried her halfway up the next flight and shouted for more draculas. He’d leave a combination buffet and obstacle course all the way to the roof.

Adam

“MOVE, Padre!” the man named Clayton screamed, and Adam was moving—moving as fast as he possibly could, one step at a time, his wife strapped to his back with several rolls of adhesive tape. He sweated buckets, his legs cramping, and two flights of stairs still to go, warm blood—Stacie-blood—sluicing down the back of his legs.

The deputy fired that freakishly huge gun again, the noise so loud it jogged his fillings, and when his hearing faded back in he heard the deputy screaming, “Come on! Come on! Come and get it, fucker! Come on! I don’t got all day! Come on!”

Boom!

“Come on, you bastard! Yeah, you! You want some of this? You got it!”

Boom!

They rounded another landing and at the top of the next flight, he saw a door with a sign above it glowing under the emergency light—HELIPAD.

It gave him a burst of energy, small to be sure, but enough to push him those last fifteen steps, the deputy firing behind him and screaming to go, and then Adam buried his shoulder into the door and burst out into a cool, dark night.

Made it fifteen feet before crumbling to the concrete.

He’d lost Stacie’s blood bag on the ascent.

A man with a chainsaw stood with a woman and four kids on the far side of the helipad, and they were waving their arms toward a sea of headlights, spotlights, flashlights, ambulance light bars on a steady burn, highway patrol cruisers sending out a manic frenzy of blues and reds. Every law enforcement and first response agency in the Four Corners had to be out there.

He reached back and began ripping the tape from his shoulders as Clayton broke through the door and then spun around and kicked it shut.

“Bolton!” he screamed. “Get your ass over here!”

Adam watched the man with the chainsaw limp quickly back across the helipad, the woman in tow.

When they reached Clayton, the woman took Adam’s swaddled little girl out of his arms.

“Incoming,” Clayton said.

“How many?”

“More than we can handle.”

Adam ripped off the last bit of tape and eased Stacie onto the concrete. She shivered under her hospital gown and the insides of her legs were streaked with blood.

So, so much of it.

Adam had brought his backpack along, carrying it on the front of his chest. He unzipped it and grabbed another unit of O-positive, plugged Stacie’s IV line into the bottom, then held it up so the blood ran down into her veins.

“Baby?” he said. “Can you hear me?”

Stacie’s eyes opened.

Barely.

Slits.

“Where’s Daniella?” she asked.

Adam glanced back toward the door, saw the woman who held his child hurrying over. She knelt beside them.

“That’s our baby girl,” Adam said.

“She’s beautiful. I’m Jenny.”

“I’m Adam. This is Stacie, my wife.”

Even in the lowlight, he saw the concern darken Jenny’s face.

“Here, would you take her?” She handed the sleeping infant—its neurological system shut down from all the mayhem—to Adam.

“Hi, Stacie, I’m a nurse. My name’s Jenny.”

Adam heard the sound of metal clanging nearby, saw Clayton and the man he’d called Bolton kicking one of the huge air conditioning units mounted to the roof.

Jenny took Stacie’s wrist and held it for a moment.

“Postpartem hemorrhage?”

“That’s what Nurse Herrick called it.”

Jenny looked down at the blood still pooling on the cement between Stacie’s legs.

“She’s bleeding again,” Jenny said. “Had they stopped it before?”

“I think so.”

“Can I hold my baby?” Stacie whispered.

“Sure, sweetie.” Adam laid their daughter in the crook of Stacie’s arm.

Jenny said, “Could I speak with you for a moment, Adam?”

“What about this bag?”

“It’s okay. You can put it down.”

He laid the blood bag on the concrete and followed Jenny for a few feet toward the edge of the roof. Clayton and Bolton were struggling to push an air conditioning unit that was bigger than a refrigerator in front of the door to the hospital.

Jenny stopped and took both of Adam’s hands and said, “I am so sorry, but I’m afraid your wife isn’t going to make it.”

Like someone had shovel-punched him in the gut.

Jenny continued, “It probably jarred the clots loose when you carried her up from the birth unit.”

Adam felt a rush of emotion coming on.

Fought against it.

“How long does she have?”

Jenny just shook her head. “Go be with her.”

Adam turned away from her, stared down at his wife lying on the helipad, stroking Daniella’s head with her fingers. He had never been more scared, including the previous hour.

He walked back over to his family, sat down beside his wife.

“She’s beautiful,” Stacie said.

“She looks like you. Your eyes for sure.”

Clayton and Bolton were muscling another unit toward the door, metal scraping against concrete. Thought he could hear inhuman screaming echoing from inside the hospital.

He laid his hand against his wife’s forehead—cool and sweaty.

Closed his eyes. Prayed harder than he’d ever prayed in his life.

“I’m so cold, Adam.”

He started unbuttoning his black shirt.

“I hope you won’t lose your faith over this.”

He wondered if she meant her death, if she knew it was imminent, or everything else.

“Of course not,” he said, wondering if he was lying to her.

Stacie looked down into the face of her daughter, and as Adam pulled his arms out of his shirtsleeves and laid it across Stacie’s chest, she said, “You’ll tell her about me?”

“Stacie, stop, you’re gonna be—”

“I know what’s happening,” she said.

He could barely get the words out. “Every day, darling. Every day. I love you, Stacie. I love you so much.” Tears streamed down his face.

Her eyes were going glassy, filling slowly with a kind of stunned emptiness.

“Stacie! Do you hear me?”

She turned her head, and stared up into his eyes, one last and fading beat of lucidity.

“I know you love me, Adam,” she whispered. “You know I love you?”

He nodded.

“I’m scared, Adam.”

He laid down beside his wife as the demons started beating against the door, their faces turned toward each other, staring into Stacie’s eyes as the life inside them drained away.

Jenny

JENNY turned away from the dying woman and her newborn. Yet another tragedy in a night filled with them.

She pushed her emotions back, maintaining the guise of a professional, and looked for Randall. He and Clay had finished barricading the door and now Randall stood alone, staring off into the sea of blinking, flashing emergency lights. Jenny walked over and stood next to him, slipping her hand into his, welcoming the familiarity of his calluses.

“Do you think we’ll be rescued?” she asked.

A silly question, because there was no way he could know, any more than she did. But Jenny wasn’t seeking an answer. She just wanted to hear his voice.

“I’ll make sure you and the kids get safe, Jenny.”

His voice was cracking, and he looked away from her.

“Randall? What’s wrong?”

He coughed and covered his mouth, but not before something fell from his lips and bounced onto the tar-papered roof.

A tooth.

“Oh, Randall…”

He stared at her, his eyes hooded, his pupils already starting to enlarge.

“I won’t hurt you,” he said. “I won’t hurt you or the kids. I’ll…I’ll throw myself off the building before I let that happen.”

He tried a pathetic smile, and more of his teeth dropped out. Jenny watched, revolted, as new ones breached the gums and began to grow in.

Clay was walking over.

“Randall, I need your help guarding the barricade…holy fuck!”

Clay raised his weapon, pointing it at her husband’s head.

Without thinking, Jenny stepped between the men.

“No!”

“Get out of the way, Jenny! He’s—”

“He’s my husband! You’re not going to kill him, Clayton Theel!”

Randall made a grunting sound, then doubled over and dropped to his knees. Jenny shoved Clay’s gun away, and crouched next to Randall, keeping her arm around his shoulders.

“Jenny, you need to step away from the dracula.”

“I know Randall. He won’t hurt me. Will you, Randall?”

Randall violently shook his head. “Won’t…hurt…no one. I…can…fight it.”

Clay reached for Jenny, grabbing her arm, tugging her away. A millisecond later, Randall was on his feet, getting inside Clay’s aim and grabbing the deputy by the throat.

“If I…lose…control…kill me. But…until then…fuck…off.”

Randall released Clay, who immediately pointed the gun at him again. Once more, Jenny interceded, protecting Randall with her body.

Clay stuck out his jaw. “My girl, Shanna. She said if we find that Moorecook guy, we might be able to find a cure. His blood could have a vaccine, or antibodies, or something.”

Randall cried out as his teeth tore through his cheeks. Then came an ear-splitting sound of screeching metal.

“They’re here!” one of the boys screamed.

Jenny looked at the roof entrance, hoping she’d see cops and the military and rescue workers flooding in. But it wasn’t the good guys. It was the draculas, pushing open the door, the air conditioning units scraping across the roof.

Randall pulled her tightly against him.

She felt his hot breath on her cheek, his warm, bloody drool dripping onto her neck.

“I…love…you…” her husband whispered.

Then he picked up his chainsaw and limped toward the oncoming horde.

Stacie

IT was like someone dimming the lights from inside her head.

No pain, but so dizzy.

She could still sense her daughter lying asleep in the crook of her arm, though she couldn’t feel a thing.

There was noise all around her, but Adam—sweet, wonderful Adam—his voice cut through, lips pressed against her ear.

“I will extend peace to her like a river.”

Thinking, I cannot be dying. This is not happening. I’m a mother now.

“And the wealth of nations like a flooding stream.”

Please God, undo this.

“You will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knee.”

There’s so much I want to experience.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted.”

Nothing to do but latch onto his voice as the darkness flooded in and unconsciousness loomed like both the heartbreaking end and the answer to so many questions.

“When you see this your heart will rejoice and you will flourish like grass. Peace like a river, Stacie. Peace to you. I love you Stacie.”

His voice fading.

“I love you Stacie.”

She could feel herself slipping, and she didn’t fight it anymore.

“Always, Stacie.”

Randall

RANDALL admitted, often with pride, that he could be one of the most stubborn bastards to walk the planet. He’d always been that way, and even though his stubbornness hadn’t always helped life to work out in his favor, it was deep inside of him and he’d figured it would never change.

But at some point you had to accept that things weren’t going to happen the way you wanted, no matter how desperately you stuck to the plan.

At some point you had to accept that you were doomed.

Randall did not accept his fate as he rushed onto the roof with Jenny and the kids.

Did not accept his fate as he and Jenny encouraged the children to scream as loudly as they possibly could, jump up, wave their arms, do anything they could to attract attention.

Did not accept his fate as he and Clay dragged the air conditioning units to create a barricade against the draculas.

Hell, he didn’t even accept his fate when Clay had a big-ass gun on him. He’d be fine. He’d recover. He was a lot stronger than the other people who’d transformed. He was a goddamn lumberjack!

Even as he vowed to throw himself off the roof if needed, he knew it was an unnecessary promise. He’d never hurt anyone. Not a chance. No way.

But when the pain began, he knew he was fucked.

It seemed like tonight had been nothing except pain, but not like this. Nothing could compare to this. It was as if every single tooth in his mouth was simultaneously attacked by a sadistic Nazi dentist, drilling deep into the nerves, not simply without Novocain but with drugs to enhance his senses, pain so incredible that he thought he might finally take that next step and go completely insane.

His new teeth burst through his gums and then through his cheeks in a shower of blood, flesh, and bone. One of his old teeth, a molar, went down his throat. As the gore spilled out of his face, he saw the barricade fall away, the draculas coming through the doorway, pouring out onto the roof.

This was it.

Randall Bolton’s final scene.

Maybe he could fight whatever homicidal impulses struck the other draculas, but he wasn’t coming back. Wasn’t going to grow old with Jenny. Wasn’t going to have the last laugh on the other lumberjacks, or even get a slap on the back for a job well done. He couldn’t even help get the kids on the helicopter if they successfully got one to come over here—they’d just scream and run away from him.

This was the end of Randall’s life, and he was leaving this world as a monster.

And so there was only one way for him to go out with his head held high: kill as many other monsters as he possibly could.

They could take away his humanity, but not his fucking chainsaw.

He pulled the cord, relishing the sound of the motor. There was a whole forest of trees in front of him, and he was going to cut down every last one of them.

He swung the chainsaw blade, hitting the first dracula so hard that it felt more like knocking its head off than slicing it off. In the same arc, his chainsaw dug a deep bloody line along the chest of the dracula next to it. The return swing finished off that dracula and two more.

He couldn’t shout anything coherent, not with his face so mutilated, but he let out a primal scream, screaming out a lifetime’s worth of rage and sorrow all at once. The draculas parted beneath his whirring blade, some of them ripping into his flesh before they died, some not getting the satisfaction.

There was so much blood spraying at him that he could practically gargle with it.

Arms fell away like branches.

A dracula stumbled forward and fell upon him, its teeth tearing into his side. Randall didn’t even feel it. He twisted the blade around and drove it deep into the dracula’s skull in a spray of brain and bone chips.

No need to tell himself to focus.

A dracula’s jaws clamped down upon his left hand, biting off all of his fingers except his thumb, but it didn’t matter. That wasn’t the hand with the chainsaw.

Did he have talons instead of fingers now? He’d barely noticed.

Another dracula and its head parted ways. How many had he killed so far? He couldn’t even estimate.

A squirt of blood shot directly into his good eye.

So he was mostly blind. So what? Didn’t matter.

The chainsaw stalled for a split-second, right in the middle of a dracula’s torso, but he yanked it out and the blade started whirring again.

Blood dripped from his hair, his ears, his chin.

Bloodbloodblood…

He shook off whatever urge had suddenly come over him. He wasn’t going to drink any of that shit.

There were dismembered bodies piled around him.

Literally piled.

He almost lost his balance, but stayed upright.

He wasn’t going down just yet.

Not while there were still monsters around.

Adam

LIKE a YouTube clip from hell.

Demons fighting to squeeze through the partially open door, and Randall—now one of them himself—wielding a giant chainsaw and slashing at everything in sight—legs, limbs, heads, guts strewn across the helipad—and a pang of fear now cutting through Adam’s grief.

He clutched Daniella to his chest and backed away from Stacie’s body as one of those things stalked him in full scrubs with a surgical power drill, revving the tiny motor.

It stopped suddenly, attention drawn to Adam’s wife and the pool of blood she lay in.

When it fell to the ground and started hungrily licking it up, something came unhinged in Adam and he ran, six steps covered in no time, and kicked the former surgeon squarely in the face.

The monster tumbled back, but quickly righted itself, jumped to its feet, and charged. Adam held Daniella in his right arm, his left raised to fend off the attack.

The demon sank its teeth into Adam’s forearm, and just as he felt those fangs slicing into muscle, a chainsaw screamed and Adam watched Randall bring the blade straight down on the top of the demon’s skull, the smell of friction between bone and chain filling the air with an acrid stench, the motor straining, and then the saw broke through and Randall brought the spinning chain through brain, face, neck, between shoulders blades, stomach, until the saw emerged from the crotch and the demon-surgeon stood staring at Adam, massively confused as it separated like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich slowly pulled apart, two halves falling away from each other to the concrete, leaving Randall, or whatever he had become, to face Adam.

He looked every bit as horrific as the others, perhaps more so holding that chainsaw drenched in blood and sinew.

A great wind was kicking up.

Its eyes narrowed, and for a moment, Adam’s heart stopped, but Randall only pointed the blade of his chainsaw toward the news helicopter whose skids were five feet from touching down on the big, white H in the center of the helipad.

Randall screeched something unintelligible through his fangs, then turned and ran back toward the door as another pair of demons climbed through, the lumberjack’s chainsaw singing like the cry of an angry God.

Clay

JENNY stood beside him, the kids clustered around them, all watching the running lights of the silhouetted KREZ copter easing down toward the helipad. Its strobe was almost blinding. He leaned toward her and cupped a hand around her ear.

“Soon as it touches down, we get these kids on board. You too.”

She gave him an uncertain glance. In the strobe flashes she looked devastated.

He added. “Randall will want that.”

Still no reply. Jenny turned back to the carnage and the thing that was once her husband, and Clay saw the pain strip her soul bare.

She couldn’t stay. Whatever love or loyalty she felt, Randall was gone, and she’d be gone too if she stayed.

“I won’t leave him, Clay.”

He stared at Randall, who had somehow found the strength to single-handedly wipe out at least ten draculas. But he was nearly dead himself.

“Jenny…”

“I’m not letting him die alone!” she screamed.

Clay noticed a change in the tone of the copter’s engine and looked around. The skids hovered about a foot off the helipad, but instead of continuing to lower, they’d begun to rise.

What?

Clay saw the woman in the open bay pointing to Randall, who was putting the saw to one final dracula. The pilot was looking that way too as he throttled up to leave.

No fucking way.

Clay charged forward and jumped onto the skid, tilting the copter. The woman scuttled back as the pilot looked around. The bay was lit by an overhead fixture. Clay leaned into the light. He didn’t have to fake a fierce expression—his teeth were already bared in rage—as he gave the pilot a good look down the bore of the MM-1. He pointed toward the roof.

“Down or you’re dead!”

He knew the pilot couldn’t hear him so he spoke slowly and carefully, giving him ample opportunity to read his lips.

The copter resumed its descent.

When it hit the deck, Clay motioned the kids forward, ducking and squinting against the wash from the blades, Jenny led them up in a bunch. The strobe gave their approach an old-time movie look. Together they hauled the children up and in, one at a time, until all were aboard. Then he motioned to Jenny to follow but she shook her head. He was tempted to grab her and toss her in but spotted Adam approaching with the baby in his arms.

Aw shit. Adam was bleeding.

Randall

A headless dracula dropped in front of him, adding to the pool of blood, and Randall realized that there was nothing left to kill. As if sensing this, the chainsaw gave one last sputter and died.

A helicopter landed on the roof.

Rescue.

But not for him.

Bloodblood…

He gestured to the helicopter with his dead chainsaw, then staggered toward the door. More draculas would be coming through it. He’d kill them. Saw them up even without the chainsaw running.

When he reached the door, his legs finally gave out and he collapsed.

He sat there, chainsaw on his lap, trying to blink the blood out of his eye, too exhausted to use his hands to wipe it away.

He couldn’t stay human in his mind for much longer, but he didn’t need to. He didn’t have long to live as a monster or a man.

If he could just stick around long enough to see Jenny and the kids fly off to safety, he’d shake hands with God and call it even.

But Jenny didn’t get into the helicopter.

Instead, she began to walk his way.

All Randall could think about was the day she left him, and how his one wish—the one thing that kept him sober and sane—was that one day she might come back to him.

Her timing was ironical. Not only was he dying, but he was a dracula, and she was putting herself in danger instead of getting the hell out of there.

But at that moment, when she reached down for him with tears in her eyes, Randall Bolton was the happiest guy on the planet.

Adam

HIS mind raced as he headed toward the helicopter, shielding Daniella from the wind-blasting rotors. He hadn’t steeled himself to look at his arm. It hurt badly, and he thought he felt the evaporative cooling of blood on his skin, but maybe, maybe, please God—maybe he was imagining it.

He glanced down, saw the shimmer of blood on his left forearm with every flash of the KREZ helicopter’s LED strobe.

The fangs had punctured skin.

God, no!

Why?

He looked over toward the door to the hospital. Randall sat alone with his chainsaw amid a battlefield of gore. Nothing trying to come through the doors at the moment. Just a few dismembered demons squirming on the concrete.

Couldn’t be sure, but Randall looked injured.

By the time he reached Clayton, he knew what he had to do, knew there was no other choice. Randall seemed to be controlling his will in the face of the infection, but what if he couldn’t? What if Adam harmed his own daughter?

Adam sidled up to Clayton, who’d just loaded the last child onto the helicopter.

Clayton looked at him, at his arm.

“You get bit?”

Adam nodded.

“Shit.”

“I’ve been praying that I’ll be protected from any—”

“Keep praying all you want, preacher, but you will be a full-blown fucking land shark in T-minus ten minutes.”

Adam tried to fight back the tears, not wanting to cry in front of this lawman, but he couldn’t help it.

“Is there room?” Adam yelled in Clayton’s ear.

Clayton’s brow furrowed. “For your daughter, absolutely.”

“What about…?”

“You know I can’t let you off this helipad.”

Adam nodded. He looked down at his daughter, tugged back the blanket that shielded her face. Somehow, she still slept. Adam, crying so hard he couldn’t see, spoke into her ear, “May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you and grant you peace. Your daddy loves you, Daniella, and he always will.”

“It’s time!” Clayton yelled.

Adam handed his child to a young woman in the helicopter wearing a pair of headphones, who was already extending her arms to his baby.

He passed Daniella to her, yelled, “Her name is Daniella!”

“What?” the reporter yelled.

Adam stepped up onto the skid, yelled into her ear as she lifted the headphone. “This is my daughter! Her name is Daniella Murray! Her mother’s dead, and I will be soon! Please take care of her!”

The woman nodded and Adam felt a hand drag him back from the helicopter—Clayton’s—and then Clayton signaled to the pilot and the rotors wound up and the skids eased off the helipad.

Adam stood watching in disbelief as it flew his daughter away from him into the night.

She’s safe now. These demons can’t touch her.

That piece of news was the only thing in the world keeping him from sprinting toward the edge of the roof and taking a swan dive into the parking lot.

Randall—now a bloody mess, was on his side, surrounded by the monsters he’d slaughtered. Adam watched the nurse, Jenny, go to his side.

Then he looked at Clayton, something roiling inside of him. Anger. Fear. Confusion. All wrapped up in a single emotion with a clear objective—kill.

“I want your gun,” Adam said.

“What?”

“Your gun. Show me how to shoot it. I’m going back into the hospital to kill as many of these things as possible.”

Clayton nodded, his eyes twinkling. “You hold that thought, padre, but I may have a better one.”

“What?” Adam said.

“If you’re gonna go down fighting, let’s make it really count.”

“How?”

“You still got all that blood in your backpack?”

“Yes.”

“Run and get it, and meet me over by the door.”

Jenny

SHE knelt next to her husband’s torn, bleeding body as the helicopter flew away. There was little left of him that was recognizable. She gripped his hand, feeling his talons gently wrap around her fingers.

“You did it, Randall,” she whispered. The tears were running down her face, and her shoulders shook from sobs. “You saved us.”

He blinked, tried to say something. All that came out was a low growl. Jenny cast her eyes down his body, looking at all the tears and gouges. He wasn’t bleeding as badly as before. Either he was almost out of blood, or…

Healing. These creatures had accelerated healing powers.

“Bite me,” she told her husband.

His eyes got wide.

“Take my blood, Randall. It’ll revive you.”

She pressed her wrist to his teeth. It would turn her into a dracula as well, but that was okay. They would be together. Maybe Clay was right, and they could find Moorecook and a cure. Jenny closed her eyes, waiting for the pain.

She felt his breath on her arm, but the bite didn’t come.

Instead there was only the faintest brush of what remained of her husband’s lips.

A kiss.

“Please, Randall. It’s the only way.”

Randall gripped Jenny’s arms—

—and shoved her backward.

Jenny fell onto her ass.

“Damn it, Randall!” she yelled. “Stop being so goddamn stubborn!”

She crawled back to him, figuring if she crammed her hand down his mouth she could force him to bite down. But as she brought her fingers to his mouth, Randall caught her wrist. His eyes were glassy.

“Nuuuhhh,” he said, shaking his head.

And then Jenny fell apart. Great, wracking sobs shook her body. She’d spent her entire professional career being strong in the face of death. Compartmentalizing grief. Priding herself on being practical rather than emotional.

But this was more than she could bear.

“You son of a bitch,” she sobbed. “You can’t die. Please, please, please don’t die.”

Randall reached up, held her hands. A monster’s hands, but they still had the calluses.

Still had the warmth.

They held each other, for the last time.

“Remember the first day we met?” Jenny said, her face a veil of tears. “You came into the ER, your arm all swollen, and you asked me out on a date while you were getting your X-ray. You had a broken arm, but you were still flirting with me. I thought you were so brave.”

She touched a part of his face that wasn’t all ripped up.

“And you are,” she said, smiling through her tears. “You’re the bravest, sweetest man I’ve ever met. I was so wrong to leave you. I wish we could start all over. I wish I could erase all of that time we were apart, and instead fill it up with all the good memories we missed out on. But I never stopped loving you. Never. Being your wife was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

Jenny leaned over and kissed his forehead.

“I love you, Randall Bolton.”

She continued to hold his hands long after he’d stopped holding hers.

Clay

CLAY and Adam hurried through the dimly-lit slaughterhouse that had once been the happiest floor in the hospital.

“To make this work,” Clay said, “we need a good-size room.”

“There’s an education center where they have Lamaze classes and lectures on infant care. It’s right over here.”

He followed Adam to a rectangular room that ran twenty feet by thirty. Multicolored lights flashed against the outside windows. Clay stepped to them and glanced down at the parking lot. He thought he could pick out troop lorries among the vehicles and milling people. Either the army or the National Guard had arrived. Good. They’d keep Shanna safe.

Couldn’t think about her now…

He turned back to the room. It had windows onto the hallway as well. Good thing, because the hall had the emergency lights. None of those in here.

In the lowlight he picked out rows of folding chairs—a bonus.

“Perfect. Now I need the blood—lots of it.”

“You’re in luck,” Adam said. He pulled open the backpack, revealing dozens of units. “All types.”

Clay had been thinking about killing a couple of draculas for their blood, but this was easier, safer. Despite the gravity of the situation, he couldn’t help smiling. “You’re a regular Boy Scout, aren’t you.”

“I made Eagle.”

“Well, you sure are prepared.”

“I’m not prepared to turn into one of those things.” He held up his bloody arm. “You said you could solve that problem and make it count—really count.”

Clay fished one of the two 40mm M433 grenades out of his backpack. A couple of days ago someone had emailed him about carting an old wrecked car out into the wilds during the gun show and shooting the shit out of it. He’d figured on administering the coup de grâce with these babies. But now he had a better use. He handed it to Adam.

“This is a high explosive grenade. It’s got a kill radius of fifteen feet. That means a thirty-foot circle of death. I don’t know if that’ll apply to the draculas since they’re so damn hard to kill, but two will definitely do the job.”

Adam was nodding. “I see where you’re going. If we can fill this room with them, and set off both rounds, we may be able to turn the tide.”

Clay looked at him. “What do you mean, ‘we,’ kemosabe? This is going to be your show, padre, your Alamo.”

“But—”

“You’re gonna die, padre. And real soon. You can die here as a man and meet your maker without a mouth full of fangs, or you can die as a dracula when I blow your head off at the first sign of change. Take your pick.”

Adam’s face had turned a light shade of green. “As a man, of course.”

“Good for you. And what better way to go out than taking a bunch of draculas with you? But that’s only going to happen if I can modify these rounds.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, they’ve got a minimum arming range of forty-five feet.”

“Sorry?”

“They’re designed not to detonate until they’re like forty-five to ninety feet from the launcher. I need to hack the arming mechanism if this is going to work.”

“You can do that?”

“Pretty sure…”

Clay’s gut clenched at the prospect. He’d modified the buckshot rounds, changing the gauge of the shot and such, but the H-E grenades were lots more complicated. He hadn’t ventured into one of them yet. No point in letting Adam in on that. He had enough on his plate.

“Okay,” he said. “While I do my tinkering, I want you to stack all these chairs in a circle in the center of the room, but leave enough space for you in the middle.”

“Why?”

“Coupla reasons. I’ll explain later, because we don’t have a lot of time and it won’t matter if I can’t arm the grenades. So circle those chairs, then get every drop of blood you can find and pour it around them like a moat. But you’ve got to keep the door closed as you do that. When those draculas smell blood they’re like sharks in a feeding frenzy. Let’s get to work.”

Clay left him there and went in search of a quiet cubbyhole to work on his H-E grenades, hoping he could pull this off without turning himself into Bolognese sauce.

Jenny

SHE was sitting there, exhausted, devastated, clutching her husband’s lifeless hand, when she heard the whine of propellers.

Jenny glanced up, thinking the TV helicopter had returned.

But it hadn’t.

This was something different.

Adam

HE battled with his conscience as he unpacked the transfusion bags in the lecture room.

Suicide was a sin. The bible said so. The Lord gave each of us life and only He could take it away. Suicide was self-murder, and “no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.” The meaning was pretty clear: no eternal life meant banishment for all eternity from the presence of God. Adam didn’t believe in the old-school Lake of Fire, but he did believe in hell.

The inner debate continued as he closed the door and began arranging the chairs as Clay had instructed.

But wouldn’t it be worse to allow himself to become a foul, murderous abomination? To kill indiscriminately and, far worse, turn others into similar abominations? Wouldn’t that earn him hell just as quickly?

With the chairs circled in a double stack, he began creating the “moat,” slicing open the transfusion bags with the scalpel, and dumping their contents around the chairs.

You weren’t allowed to take your own life, but you were certainly allowed to sacrifice it for your fellow man. And woman too, of course. John 15:13 said it all: Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Was any act more noble?

That was what he wished for himself.

He was feeling funny and didn’t know if it was the smell of the blood or the first symptoms of something worse. He was just squeezing the contents from the last bag when Deputy Theel slipped quickly through the door. He didn’t look so hot himself.

“Something wrong?”

Clayton shook his head. “Had a couple of bad moments there, but I’m still in one piece.” He shook his head. “Man, it stinks in here.”

Adam had been thinking that same thing for a while, but now it didn’t smell so bad.

Dear Lord, was he starting to change?

“Let’s not waste any time,” he told the deputy. “What do I do?”

“First thing is you put yourself in the middle of those chairs.”

As Adam squeezed between two double-stacked pairs, he said, “Care to tell me about the chairs now?”

“They’re gonna make excellent shrapnel.”

Adam’s knees softened but didn’t give way.

The deputy stepped over the blood moat and handed one of the high-explosive grenades through the chairs.

“This one goes on the floor. Do not drop it—it’s armed. You’re right handed, so—”

“How do you know that?”

“Habit. Always know a guy’s handedness. Put it by your right foot.”

Adam complied. “Now what?”

The deputy hesitated, started to hand his grenade launcher through the chair maze, then pulled it back. He cradled it, hugged it, actually kissed it, then handed it through.

“You have no idea what it took to find one of these, and what it cost me when I finally did.”

Adam took it but didn’t know what to do with it. His confusion must have shown.

“See the pistol grip there?” the deputy said. “Hold it by that but keep your finger outside the trigger guard. Do not touch that trigger till you’re ready to squeeze it.”

Adam did as instructed.

“Good. Now, lower the launcher until the muzzle’s pointing at the floor.”

He did.

“Position the muzzle directly over the round on the floor.”

Again, Adam complied.

“Okay. Now, you’re ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“I’m going to open the door and run like hell. The draculas are going to catch this stink and come in like sharks. They’re going to start lapping up the blood. They’re going to start fighting with each other, which will bring more. Eventually they’re going to run out of blood and notice you. That’s when you pull the trigger. You’ve got one H-E round in the chamber and the other on the floor. The former will hit the latter and they’ll both explode.”

“Oh, God!”

“Yeah, God. If He’s paying attention at all, this will express mail you straight to Him. You won’t feel a thing, padre, but you’ll reduce every dracula you’ve managed to lure in here to meat confetti. That’s what I call a blaze of glory.”

“Yes. Glory. ‘Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’“

“Yeah, there’s that,” the deputy said, shaking his head as he stared at his weapon. “But how about, ‘Greater love hath no man than giving up his MM-1 for his friends?’“

Adam felt his muscles beginning to cramp.

“I think you’d better go.”

The deputy looked at him, then nodded. “Gotcha.”

He pulled a pistol from the small of his back, stepped to the door, and yanked it open.

“Don’t let me down, padre.”

“That would mean letting myself down, letting God down.”

The deputy smiled and nodded again. “You’ll do fine, padre. We’ve all got it coming. You just happen to know when.”

And then he ducked out, leaving the door open behind him.

It didn’t take long.

The deputy had been uncannily accurate in his description.

They came like a school of sharks. First the scouts. He spotted them through the windows onto the hall, dark shapes weaving through the shadows, popping into view when they passed through a pool of light.

One darted through the door and dropped to the floor with a screech. Two more followed, then a dozen, then a dozen more, pushing, shoving, fighting for a place at the blood buffet. Their struggles spread them further and further around Adam’s chair barricade until they completely encircled him.

The sight of the huddled, struggling shapes, limned by the light from the hall and the flashes from the parking lot, chilled his blood. But the sounds were worse. Adam couldn’t see the blood moat, but the frenzied lapping, the hissing and screeching made his gorge rise.

And then two of them got into a fight, tearing at each other. Others joined the fray in a cannibalistic orgy that drew even more of their kind to the room.

But worst of all for Adam…the room no longer smelled bad.

In fact, the aroma was almost…mouth watering.

No, wait…that wasn’t water in his mouth. It tasted like blood. It tasted good. And something else there. Three, no, four hard lumps. He knew what they were: teeth. He’d seen Nurse Herrick’s teeth fall out before she became…

God help me, it’s happening!

He spit them out and moved his finger from alongside the trigger guard and curled it around the trigger.

How long to wait? To maximize his impact, he had to delay until the room couldn’t hold any more draculas, but not so long into the change that he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—pull the trigger.

He had to hold out in memory of Stacie, who had sacrificed everything for Daniella. And especially for Daniella. She had to live. She’d grow up without her mother and father. They’d miss her first steps, her first day at school, her wedding day…but at least she’d grow up. His parents or Stacie’s parents, or maybe all four together would raise Daniella, and he prayed they’d tell her that her folks loved her so much that they gave their lives for her.

So hold off…hold off as long as—

The creatures decided for him. When the smell of the fresh blood he’d spit out with his teeth reached them, they froze. Then slowly, almost as one, they turned toward him, noticing him for the first time.

“I forgive you,” he told them. “You’re not responsible. You didn’t want to be what you’ve become, and I am going to relieve you—us—of this hideous affliction.”

Oddly, instead of a passage from the bible, the last lines of A Tale of Two Cities came to mind. He didn’t remember them exactly, but he did his best: “Listen to me and believe this,” he said to them. “It’s a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done; it’s a far, far better rest we go to, than we have ever known.”

With a chorus of shrieks and hisses, they leaped at him as one.

Adam pulled the trigger.

Clay

HE ducked into the report room—a landlocked cubicle just off the OB nursing station, where one shift briefed the next on the floor’s patients and their status. He’d been tempted to head straight for the stairs but didn’t know how many draculas he’d run into along the way. Once they caught the scent of that blood, they’d come swarming from all directions. He had north of fifty .40 caliber rounds for the Glock, but knew from his first foray into the ER that it took a good three hits to put down a dracula. One on one, that was okay, but if he got swarmed he’d go down.

He closed the door and plunged into perfect darkness.

Didn’t know if his hacks on the H-E rounds had been successful. No way to test them.

So he locked the door, found a chair, and waited.

Soon he heard movement outside—feet scraping the floor as they passed. Someone rattled the doorknob. A dracula had probably smelled him—no surprise since he was pretty much covered in dried blood. He raised the Glock, ready to fire if the creature somehow managed to break in, but it moved off. The smell of the fresh blood in the education room had to be more enticing.

Okay, Part A of the plan was working—the draculas were taking the bait. Part B depended on two factors: the hacks and the padre. Clay was pretty sure about the hacks. He’d rotated the firing pin in each round to line up with the detonator. Any impact would—should—set them off.

Adam was a bigger unknown. Pulling that trigger would take a certain level of intestinal fortitude. He didn’t know if a noncombatant and officer in the God Squad like the padre had it in him. Just have to wait and—

The explosion shook the walls and floor, practically knocking Clay off his seat. Even through the locked door, the compression wave from the blast popped his ears.

Sorry for doubting you, padre.

Via con Dios.

He waited half a minute, then unlocked the door and stepped out. He’d expected smoke but instead felt a cool, clean breeze. Outside air?

He looked left and saw that windows on the far side of the building, opposite the explosion, had been blown out. He made his way through the rubble to the education room—or rather where it had been. The hallway wall and windows had been blown out. Everything in sight was coated with gore. The outer windows and wall were gone as well. He could look out at the night and see the flashing lights in the parking lot.

The parking lot…that was where he wanted to be. With Shanna.

He saw the TV copter idling in a clear corner of the lot. Great. The kids were safe.

But he heard another copter—a much heavier engine noise than the KREZ bird—though he couldn’t see it. Sounded like it was directly over the hospital. Another pickup? Jenny was the only one left up there.

But would she go? Maybe, maybe not. Women were crazy sometimes.

He headed for the stairs. He’d get up there and force her onto the bird—even if he had to sling her over his shoulder and carry her aboard. She felt she owed it to Randall to stay with him, but that was the last thing her ex would have wanted. Last thing Clay wanted too. She was a good nurse and good people. Not enough of those around.

Randall…man, he’d misjudged him big time. But then, he’d known only the drunk Randall. The sober one was one helluva stand-up guy. Come to think of it, he’d underestimated the padre as well. Hazard of the job, he supposed. As a cop he saw too much of the worst side of people. After a while he couldn’t help but start expecting it.

In the stairwell, he made it up one flight before stumbling to an abrupt halt. He wasn’t going any farther. The flights above were packed with draculas.

Earlier, when he and Adam had made their way down, they’d had to climb over the pile of dead draculas Randall had sliced up. It had been a tight squeeze. Now the surviving draculas were feasting on their brothers, fighting each other for a place at the table. Probably what it had looked like on the way to the roof that last day at the US embassy in Saigon.

He started back down, hoping Jenny got some sense into her head and boarded the chopper. She could return to Randall later, after the army or National Guard or whatever mopped up the surviving draculas.

Jenny

SHE stared up into the night sky at the helicopter. But it wasn’t the one from the TV station. This one was dark, with guns mounted on the front and sides.

Military.

Jenny waved her hands over her head, but the aircraft gave no indication that it noticed her. It continued to hover, not making any attempt to land.

Then the building shook and Jenny heard an explosion from the lower floors. One of Clay’s toys? Or had the cavalry finally arrived?

Shanna

SHE was pacing back and forth by Clay’s Suburban, praying for his safe return, when she noticed movement on the ground, not too far from her. She looked closer and saw one of the supposedly dead state troopers moving—one of the pair Clay hadn’t shot.

Oh, God. As it lifted its head and looked her way, glow from the army headlights glinted off rows of long sharp teeth.

“Hey!” she called. “Hey, somebody! We’ve got trouble over here! Hey!”

Nobody seemed to hear her. The noise from truck motors revving, soldiers shouting to each other, giving and taking orders, swallowed her cries.

“Hey!” she called, raising her voice to its limit. “A little help over here.”

She backed up a few steps, readying to run, fearing it was coming for her, but it veered away, toward the empty darkness.

Confused? The side of its skull looked bashed in. Too damaged to know what it was doing? Well, that was fine with Shanna…

Except if it got away and bit someone, the plague would be loose and there’d be no stopping it.

She screamed. “Will somebody please—oh, crap!” He was going to get away and no one was paying her a bit of attention.

She glanced in the rear of Clay’s Suburban and saw his super shotgun, his beloved AA-something. She didn’t want to touch it…she remembered Marge back in the chapel, but somebody had to stop that thing.

She grabbed the gun and went around the other side of the car in time to see the dracula passing. How hard could this be? She raised the shotgun, pointed it toward the thing, and, closing her eyes—she couldn’t look—pulled the trigger.

The gun boomed but had nowhere near the kick of that pistol Clay had handed her.

She opened her eyes and saw the dracula on the pavement. She was about to congratulate herself when she realized it was still alive, if that was what you could call whatever it was, and trying to regain its feet. But it couldn’t. Shanna had shredded its knees.

“Lower your weapon!” shouted a voice behind her.

She turned and found herself facing the muzzles of half a dozen guns of various shapes and sizes and a chorus telling her to drop it. She laid the shotgun gently on the pavement. After all, Clay loved that thing.

“Now you listen!” she said.

A soldier with three stripes on his arm—that meant sergeant, right?—who looked like he was in charge, got in her face. “What do you think you’re doing, firing that here?”

Shanna jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “One of them was getting away.”

A couple of the soldiers looked past her. She could tell by their expressions they’d never seen a dracula before.

The sergeant said, “Put it down!”

Half the soldiers turned their weapons toward the leaping monstrosity. In a rain of automatic weapon fire, they cut it to shreds.

“Did you see that thing?”

“What the fuck?”

“Some kind of monster.”

Then four of the hospital’s third-floor windows facing the parking lot blew out, belching flame and filling the air with bits of glass and charred flesh.

Jenny

JENNY continued to stare up at the military helicopter. Over the din of the rotors she yelled, “Down here!”

It hovered directly overhead, and she watched one of the bay doors open. Then they began to lower a rescue basket down on a cable.

No…not a rescue basket.

What the heck is that?

Clay

CLAY descended cautiously through the stairwell, Glock out and ready, but nothing leaped out of the shadows. The dracula population appeared to have been reduced to endangered-species level. No loss. This was one species that cried out for extinction.

He was passing the pediatrics floor when he remembered Randall saying he’d had to leave Alice behind. Well, pediatrics was where he’d have left her.

Clay stopped and considered the risk-benefit ratio. What if he allowed himself five minutes to search for Alice? Taurus Raging Bulls didn’t come cheap, but even if someone simply gave him another, it wouldn’t be Alice. He’d grown attached to Alice.

He checked his watch and marked the time. Really. Five minutes—not a second more. What could it hurt?

He eased through the door and made his way down the hall, thinking how anybody watching him would think he was out of his mind. Well, some people thought that anyway, especially when they learned he’d named his Taurus. But every so often you came across a weapon special enough for a name. Look at Davy Crockett. Hadn’t he named his trusty flintlock Betsy? There you go. Nuff said.

Near the nursing station Clay found a door that looked like someone had taken a chainsaw to it. Randall? Through another doorway he saw that clown dracula flat on its back, very dead. And there on the floor, amid fallen plaster and a string of guts that looked like they’d been tied into shapes…

“Alice!”

Shanna

WHAT had happened? An explosion could mean only one person: Clay. But what could he have been carrying to blow out a wall like that? Better not to think about it. Who knew what Clay carried in his bag of tricks?

She just hoped he hadn’t gone up with it.

The sergeant had told two soldiers to escort her—a euphemism—to the trailer at the rear of the lot. They pulled her inside and stuck her in what they’d called “the command center.”

It looked improvised in some ways—a featureless space with no decorations and half a dozen one-piece polymer chairs. But the small, fixed window that had to be at least an inch thick said otherwise. The best thing about that window was it faced the parking lot. Shanna had her nose pressed against it now, hands cupped around her eyes to shut out the room light, straining to see what was going on.

The door opened behind her. She turned to see four disheveled-looking kids being herded into the room by the same two soldiers who had brought her. They moved away and then another soldier—with bars on his shoulders—strolled inside. He had gray hair and a barrel chest, and his expression was grim. He stared hard at Shanna.

“Who are you?” he demanded.

“Shanna Wiener. I’m an anthropologist.”

“Colonel Halford. My men just caught some sort of creature, Ms. Wiener. It attacked them, we believe, with intent to eat them.”

“Not eat them,” Shanna corrected. “It wanted to suck their blood.”

“Do you know what it is?”

“It’s…” Shanna’s voice went soft. “It’s a dracula.”

“A dracula.”

She nodded.

“As in a vampire? The kind you fight with crosses and garlic?”

She shook her head. “Crosses don’t work. I don’t know about the garlic.”

Shanna expected disbelief, but Halford simply nodded.

“Do you know how many there are?”

“No. The infection spread quickly. There could be hundreds.”

He nodded again. Two soldiers came in and saluted. Col. Halford saluted back.

“The autoclave is in place, sir.”

“Sound the sirens. Clear everyone to the perimeter. I want detonation in sixty seconds from the moment I stop talking. Dismissed.”

The men hurried off.

“What’s an autoclave?” Shanna asked. She didn’t like the sound of it.

“Same as in a hospital. Used for sterilizing medical equipment. Except this sterilizes a much larger area.”

“It’s a bomb?”

“It’s a giant shaped charge. When detonated it will shoot a plasma jet down through the hospital roof with irresistible force at a speed of eight-thousand feet per second. The jet will penetrate each of the floors like an anti-tank missile melting through a steel armor plate. The air in the hospital will heat to ten thousand degrees, sterilizing the entire structure.”

Shanna shook her head. “My boyfriend…my fiancé, is still in there.”

“I’m sorry, Ms. Wiener. I have my orders.”

No. This couldn’t be happening. The military was here. They could help him.

“Please. He’s a good man. A cop. He saved a lot of people tonight.”

“I know. I just heard from four children who talked about a policeman with a big cool gun. But I also heard from Dr. Driscoll, my medical officer. She confirmed these creatures are contagious. We simply can’t risk any of them getting away. They’ve managed to kill six of my men in less than ten minutes, Ms. Wiener. Good men, well trained. Durango has a population of fourteen thousand, and it’s only ten miles away. If one of those things manages to get there, it will be a slaughter.”

Shanna didn’t think, she acted, running for the door, leaping out into the night, sprinting for the hospital as fast as she could.

She had to get Clay out of there. Had to—

Two men tackled her.

A few seconds later she was in handcuffs, being dragged away, screaming at the top of her lungs, “Clay! CLAAAAAY!”

Jenny

BY the time she realized that the object they had lowered onto the roof was a bomb—a huge, army-green charge—Jenny had just enough time for a belly laugh. She thought of Randall…dear, sweet, Randall. He would have appreciated the humor of surviving a dracula outbreak only to be killed by the good guys.

It was damn ironical.

Clay

HE snatched up the Taurus and began wiping her off. Poor Alice was a mess—blood, plaster dust, and who knew what else.

He hugged her to his chest. “Hey, baby. Gonna take you home and get you cleaned up and oiled and good as—”

Then he heard screaming. He’d heard a lot of screaming that day, but this seemed to be coming from outside. And rather than the incoherent, senseless terror he’d gotten used to, this sounded a lot like his name.

He hurried to the nearby window, broken out by Adam’s farewell blast directly above, and stared out over the parking lot.

One floor down and maybe a hundred yards away…that looked like Shanna, being dragged away by some soldiers. She continued to cry out to him.

Why was she so panicked? She was safe down there.

Then he grinned. Probably worried sick about him. Or missing him something fierce.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll be right—”

He heard a boom from above and then a blast of heat like a solar flare seared through the hospital, hurling his burning body through the window.

Shanna

SHANNA was still screaming when the roof of the hospital exploded in an incandescent flare. The boom and shockwave stopped her in her tracks and she watched in horror as the windows and walls of the fourth floor vomited flame and debris, followed almost immediately by the third and second and first. Every entrance, every exit blew its doors and shot flames like giant blowtorches.

And then the floors began to collapse—first the roof onto the fourth, then the fourth onto the third, pancaking all the way down to ground level, leaving only a flame-riddled cloud of smoke and dust and debris on the far side of the parking lot.

A cheer went up from the watching soldiers and she wanted to kill them. Instead, she began to cry. Huge, wracking sobs shook her to her toes.

Clay… she felt the ring box in her pocket pressing against her thigh. A good man, a hero, and no one would know. No, wait. Those kids would know. They’d remember the guy with the big cool gun. Clay would love to be remembered that way.

Colonel Halford walked over, told his men to release her.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“You can take that sorry and shove it up your ass.”

She stormed away, and no one bothered to stop her. The cool night was now hot as the summer in Nevada, and the burning hospital bright enough to see the damage that had been done to it. The autoclave had performed as advertised. The building wasn’t just sterilized. It was annihilated. Nothing could have survived that.

Choking back a sob, Shanna headed toward the TV crew. They were interviewing a man. A doctor. Incredibly, his scrubs were pristine, not a mark on them. He held a sleeping baby close to his chest, while a good-looking brunette asked him how he had managed to save the infant.

“Her name is Daniella. She was handed to me by your cameraman when the helicopter landed. Incredibly, some soldiers almost shot both of us, until I could prove we hadn’t been bitten.”

“Is the baby okay?” the reporter asked.

“I’m happy to report she’s completely healthy. Even in tragedies such as this, miracles happen.”

Something about the man’s voice was familiar. She walked closer, to get a look at his face. He was young, longish brown hair, had a strong jaw and deep eyes. Shanna immediately found him attractive, and the feeling shamed her, especially so soon after Clay’s death.

But something about him drew her.

The TV reporter seemed to feel the same way. It appeared that at any moment, she’d leap into his arms.

“Thank you, Doctor Cook.”

As soon as the camera turned away, Dr. Cook approached.

“Hello, Shanna.”

Shanna sniffled. “Do we know each other?”

“We met once before. I was Mortimer’s doctor.”

He reached out his hand. Shanna took it, finding his grip surprisingly cold.

“You seem familiar, but I’m afraid I really don’t recall you.”

He smiled, revealing absolutely perfect teeth. “That’s okay. I’m arranging a ride into town. Would you like to come along?”

Shanna seriously considered it, but something about the handsome man struck her as creepy.

“No, thanks.”

Darkness flashed across Dr. Cook’s eyes, so quickly Shanna couldn’t be sure she hadn’t imagined it. The doctor bowed politely.

“Some other time, perhaps.”

Then he pressed his cold lips to her hand, turned on his heel, and walked off into the night with the infant.

Shanna wondered where she should go next. She thought of Clay’s father. He didn’t sound like someone she’d want to hang around with, but a survivalist type might be just what she needed right now. He deserved to know that his son was dead, and how he died. And he’d be the type to believe why he died.

Where had he said Daddy lived?

Up near Silverton?

That was where she would go.

The Man in the Pristine Scrubs

“YOU are hungry, aren’t you,” he cooed to the infant in his arms. “Well, we’ll fix that.”

His canine teeth extended. They were so much better than the previous, unwieldy set he’d shed in the laundry room less than half an hour ago. This new form was superior. His thoughts were clear, focused. And he looked human. Better than human. Better than his best days on Wall Street. He’d blend in much better than those monsters.

Better still, he was young and healthy again.

He bit the tip of his index finger and watched the blood well into a bead, then touched it to the baby’s mouth. She made a face at first, then began to suck.

“Looks like we’ve got our work cut out for us, little one. We seem to have experienced a setback on the way to a brave new world, but it’s only temporary. We’ll get there eventually, and you’ll play a big part. Oh, yes, little one. I have big plans for you.”

Epilogue

HE hurt. Hurt bad.

Burns, for sure. All over.

Broken arm.

Broken leg.

Make that two broken legs.

But somehow he’d managed to survive that explosion, that fall.

He was too weak to cry out. But that was okay. He heard soldiers sifting through the rubble.

They’d find him soon.

Until then, he had good company to kill some time with.

The best company a man could have.

He set Alice on his chest, and wondered how long it would be before they found him.

But he could be patient.

He could wait a little longer.

Not a problem.

THE END

From Joe Konrath, about this bonus content

Welcome to the supplements section. One of the cool things about ebook technology is that page count no longer matters. In print, paper costs money. The longer the book, the more it is to produce it and ship it.

Since we’re not bound by this (technically we’re not bound at all) we can include a bunch of DVD-style extras that don’t increase the cost of the ebook.

You’ve probably just finished reading the interview with all four authors about writing Draculas.

If you’re a writer, or you’re interested in how four different authors crafted a single novel, we’ve included a lengthy selection of our emails to each other during the writing process. In this, you can see how our final draft changed from our original vision, and how we put it all together.

We’ve included complete Kindle bibliographies, bios, and excerpts from our latest novels.

We’ve also included these three bonus short stories.

I’ve been fortunate to have collaborated with all of these authors on separate projects. Here’s a brief explanation of each.

Years ago, a friend of mine told me I had to meet Jeff Strand because he wrote “funny but sick shit, just like you.” I read some of his Andrew Mayhem books, loved them, and we began to correspond. I thought it would be a lot of fun to team up his Mayhem character with one of my characters from the Jack Daniels series, a private eye named Harry McGlade. We wrote a novella called SUCKERS, which came out in a limited edition hardcover and sold 250 copies. Later, I put SUCKERS up on Amazon Kindle, and it’s made us a small fortune.

A while later, we were both invited into a tiny werewolf anthology, and decided to hash out a quick story. The result was CUB SCOUT GORE FEAST. The anthology never came out, but the story lives on as a supplement to this ebook.

Blake Crouch and I met under similar circumstances. A mutual friend told us we both wrote dark, scary serial-killer books, so we checked each other out and found our writing was very similar. On a lark, I asked Blake if he wanted to try a writing experiment. I write about a driver who kills hitchhikers. He writes about a hitchhiker who kills drivers. Then, without showing each other our sections, we try to kill each other.

The result, SERIAL, was released as a freebie on Amazon, and downloaded more than 250,000 times. Amazon now carries the longer, expanded SERIAL UNCUT, which is about five times the length. Here’s the original.

I’ve been a fan of F. Paul Wilson since I was a kid, and we met a while ago at a writing convention. When we were both invited into a horror anthology, neither Paul nor I had time to write a story, so I asked him if he wanted to collaborate, which would be faster. He graciously agreed, and the result, A SOUND OF BLUNDER, was released in the antho BLOOD LITE. It’s a parody of the famous Ray Bradbury story. Thanks to Pocket Books for allowing us to include it here. Jeff Strand was also in that collection, and it’s well worth seeking out.

Collaborating is a fascinating creative endeavor. Two heads, or four heads in the case of DRACULAS, really allows the writing to come quick. Having instant feedback on scenes that are hot off the keyboard is a luxury writers don’t normally have, and hopefully the fun is apparent on the e-ink page.

It’s been my pleasure to work with these talented guys, and I hope we get a chance to do it again soon…

In which Paul, Jeff, Blake and Joe interview each other about the process and experience of writing DRACULAS…

BLAKE: Joe, the idea for this book started with you. Where did you get the concept for DRACULAS and how did you go about assembling collaborators?

JOE: While browsing bestselling Kindle titles I was surprised by how many were classic novels in the public domain. One that leapt out at me was Stoker’s DRACULA, and how many incarnations have been done of that particular character. The recent trend is turning vampires into teen heartthrobs and romantic leads. I don’t find that nearly as interesting as a horrible creature that needs human blood to survive.

I didn’t want Bela Lugosi in a black cape, or anything sexy. I wanted something ugly and horrifying. So I postulated that the original DRACULA was based on a real historical event—a human mutation that was contagious and could cause outbreaks.

So I called up Blake, because we bounce a lot of ideas off each other, and I knew this was potentially a fun one. I didn’t have time to do this on my own—too many other deadlines—but I knew how this could work. I’d written three other Jack Kilborn books (AFRAID, TRAPPED, and ENDURANCE) which all operated using the same formula: There is an overpowering evil, and several different characters fight to survive during an eight hour period. No chapter breaks, just point-of-view changes.

This structure could be done, simply, with more than one writer. All we needed were three or four motivated individuals, each whom would follow a few characters, and we could have an ensemble piece.

If I recall, Blake was up for it, and we brainstormed other writers who might be interested. I’d worked with F. Paul Wilson before on a previous story (A SOUND OF BLUNDER in the collection BLOOD LITE) and pitched it to him, hoping he’d be available and interested. Then I contacted Jeff Strand, whom I’d worked with on SUCKERS and CUB SCOUT GORE FEAST, but he wouldn’t commit to it because he was too busy with other projects.

Then I told him FPW was in, and Jeff signed up immediately.

BLAKE: Although we each have pretty unique and varying writing styles, we did our best to seamlessly interweave all the individual sections so the sum of the parts would feel like a cohesive book. Readers may have hunches about who wrote which characters, but should we go ahead and take our pants down and tell everyone who wrote what?

I’ll start. I wrote the pregnant couple, Adam and Stacie Murray, some of Moorecook, Shanna, and all of Oasis. Because Joe and I kind of jumpstarted this thing, I also wrote some of the other characters leading up to all hell breaking loose in the emergency room, and also the opening chapter.

JOE: Yeah, Blake and I came up with the setting, the premise, and the dracula rules and mythos. Then we wrote the first few thousand words, setting it all up, after asking Paul and Jeff what kind of characters they were interested in writing.

After that, I took Jenny as a main character, and then popped into various baddies, including Lanz and Moorecook and Benny.

JEFF: I wrote the point-of-view scenes with Randall the lumberjack (which notably does NOT include the scene where he gets a boner) and the point-of-view scenes with Benny the Clown.

PAUL: I gravitated immediately to the “gun-nut cop.” I have a bunch of participants in the repairmanjack.com forum who are into guns—really into guns—and I’ve learned a lot from them. They’re not nuts — they’re enthusiasts and aficionados. Some are gunsmiths. If you’ve ever held a fine firearm, you might understand and appreciate where these folks are coming from. I came up with the name Clayton Theel and he began to write himself.

BLAKE: Let’s talk about how we actually wrote this book.

JOE: It was actually pretty easy. We used a program called DROPBOX which allowed everyone to read each others’ sections instantly. The structure was a snap to fit together.

This thing was so simple to write, it’s almost laughable. I don’t think we had a single disagreement on anything. Everyone was a total professional, turning in great scenes that needed minimal editing.

It was also a lot of fun. There aren’t too many balls-to-the-wall monster books being done anymore, so this was a welcome change of pace.

JEFF: Well…there were some disagreements! But never anything heated, and none that weren’t resolved quickly, and none that ever involved anybody saying “Dude, you’re writing crap! Crap!!!”

JOE: I disagree that there were disagreements. Also, you’re writing crap.

JEFF: I forgive you. See how quickly that was resolved?

PAUL: If only all novels were this easy to write. I was fascinated to watch a dynamic of one-upsmanship develop. He’s going that far? Hmmm…I could push it a little further. That’s how some of the over-the-top scenes developed. For instance, Blake nudged me with the kangaroo mother on the OB floor (you’ll know who I mean when you get there) and a situation where Adam was about to be chomped on by Oasis, the little-girl dracula. He’d left it up to me to save him. I couldn’t resist ratcheting it up a notch.

BLAKE: Did you guys approach the writing of DRACULAS any differently from the writing of your solo work? For me, because of how fast and spontaneous we wrote, I found that very liberating and would say I didn’t approach the writing with such an anal, meticulous eye. I wrote faster, and I don’t normally write so fast, so that was interesting to push myself in a way I don’t normally.

JOE: I finished my scenes first. My secret was picking the character with the least amount to do, then sending constant emails telling you guys to expand your story arcs.

But seriously, this was one of the quickest, easiest projects I’ve ever worked on. It came together fast, and was never complicated, difficult, or a chore. I enjoyed writing it, and reading what you guys did as you turned stuff in. It was also ridiculously simple to put all the sections together.

JEFF: I didn’t approach the actual writing style any differently than I would in a solo novel, because we all had our own point-of-view characters, so I didn’t have to worry about making it sound like something that Joe Konrath/Blake Crouch/F. Paul Wilson would have written. I only had to keep a consistent narrative voice for my characters.

Obviously, there are differences in the process in a collaborative work simply because it’s considered unprofessional to scream “No! We’re gonna do it my way! My way! My way! Mine! Mine! Mine!” And there were things that I wouldn’t have done if I’d had 100% control that ended up working out really well.

JOE: The funny thing is, though, it is extremely difficult for the reader to figure out who wrote what section. The book is pretty seamless. The characters each are unique, but all of our writing wound up being very similar in execution. I don’t spot any particular moments where our fans could say, “Oh, FPW must have written that” or “That’s 100% Blake Crouch.” Each of our parts really contributed to a solid whole.

PAUL: I never let people read my first-drafts, but I felt at home with you guys so I just dumped my pages into Dropbox as they were done. (I went back and tweaked them later.) The idea was to maintain momentum and let everyone else see where you were taking things. We had no outline, just worked from a vague timeline. Mostly we wrote in sequence, but I jumped ahead a couple of times because a scene would pop fully formed into my head. We seemed to develop a sort of hive mind along the way where we kind of knew what everyone else was doing. The only time we needed an outline (and it wasn’t much) was the roof scene when all the characters were interacting.

BLAKE: Why release DRACULAS straight to Kindle?

JOE: A few reasons. First is one of publishers and rights. Having four authors collaborate on a book would be a nightmare to sell, because we all have print publishers who might want exclusives. Keeping it indie meant we weren’t bound by any preexisting contracts.

Second was speed. Self-publishing on Kindle allowed us to get this up in time for Halloween, whereas regular print would take a year to eighteen months.

Finally, we’re all selling well on Kindle, and it made sense to appeal directly to our fan bases.

BLAKE: Next up for me is finalizing a new book I’ve just finished. My first two novels, DESERT PLACES and LOCKED DOORS also just went up on Kindle for a reasonable $2.99, so I’m jazzed about that. “Serial,” which I wrote with Joe, is in the upcoming Shivers VI anthology, and I have a novella called “The Pain of Others” coming soon to Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine.

JOE: I’ve got two sci-fi ecopunk novels in the TIMECASTER series coming out in 2011 with Ace Berkley, and a few other super secret projects in the works. I’m writing the eighth Jack Daniels novel, called STIRRED, with Blake, which will also be the third in his Andrew Z. Thomas books (DESERT PLACES, LOCKED DOORS.) It’s a wrap-up to both of our series.

BLAKE: So we’re breaking that news here? Cool. I’m super-psyched to do STIRRED with Joe. The opportunity to work on a full-length novel with him and bring back a set of characters I’ve really been missing from my first two novels is a project I can’t wait to dive into.

JEFF: Next up for me is WOLF HUNT, which does for werewolves what DRACULAS did for vampires, except that I finished WOLF HUNT several months before DRACULAS, so actually it’s DRACULAS that does for vampires what WOLF HUNT did for werewolves. WOLF HUNT is funnier, though. My novella KUTTER, which is the heartwarming story (seriously!) about a sadistic serial killer whose life changes when he rescues a Boston Terrier (no, really, I’m serious about the heartwarming part), is going to be part of a two-novella collection called THE MAD & THE MACABRE, which also includes REMAINS by Michael McBride. And I’m working on other stuff.

PAUL: FATAL ERROR, the penultimate Repairman Jack novel, hit the street mid-October. Just finished a draft of THE DARK AT THE END, the (sort of) last Repairman Jack novel. I say “sort of” because the whole series ends with NIGHTWORLD which will come in 2012. Jack is a player in that novel, but the cast is an ensemble from across the Secret History.

JOE: What drew each of you to this project?

BLAKE: I loved the experience of writing “Serial” with Joe. It was a true collaboration in every sense of the word. Ever since we released that book, I knew I wanted to do something like that again, only bigger, a “Serial” squared, with double the writers, and of course, the story itself was going to have to be bigger. The prospect of essentially doing a vampire novel with four writers who could all more than hold their own in terms of scaring a reader to death really appealed to me. Considering the writers involved, I was expecting it to be a great experience. It turned out even better than I imagined. I work with Joe so much, I sometimes take it for granted what a huge fan of his I am as well, and working on this book, I was reminded of that again. Writing with F. Paul Wilson was a dream come true and a great privilege. I knew of Jeff’s work, but hadn’t read him yet. I will be correcting that oversight very soon, because man can he write!

PAUL: I know and have read all these guys. I met Jeff at various NECons over the years. Blake and I both drummed for the first Thriller Killer Band at the Phoenix Thrillerfest (he’s much better). I feel like I’ve known Joe forever, though I met him at a horror convention in 2004. Joe’s query came at a perfect time. I was just wrapping up the last Repairman Jack novel, THE DARK AT THE END, and had a window of free time. I’d worked with Joe before, knew, liked, and respected the other two participants, and this sounded like such a wild idea, how could I say no?

JEFF: When one is presented the opportunity to work on a collaborative novel with F. Paul Wilson, one says “Yes.” Joe and I had been lightly batting around the idea of a full-length novel collaboration ever since we’d finished SUCKERS. And I’d read Blake’s work based on Joe’s passionate recommendation and loved it. So basically I was just presented with an outstanding opportunity to piggyback off the success of everybody else, and took it.

JOE: I dug the main concept but didn’t have time to do it alone. It was fun working with you guys on other projects, so I was pretty sure we’d be able to make it work as a team. Funny thing is, I think it turned out better than if I’d done it on my own. You guys each brought unique flavor to the project, and came up with many ideas I would never have thought of.

So does anyone think there will be a sequel? A spin-off? A different project? I’ve got one in the back of my head called MUMMIES…

CUB SCOUT GORE FEAST

A Bonus Short Story by J.A. Konrath & Jeff Strand

“Isn’t this when you start telling scary stories, Mr. Hollis?”

Hollis grinned, staring at the boys around the campfire. Cub Scouts, none of them older than ten. For some, the first night they’d ever spent away from their families.

“Are you scouts sure you want to hear a scary story?”

“Yes!” they chorused.

“Even though it’s dark and we’re all alone in the spooky, menacing forest?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Hollis sat down on his haunches. His face became serious.

“Okay, I’ll tell you a scary story. Scary because it’s the absolute, hand-on-my-heart truth. You’ve all heard rumors about Troop 192, how they disappeared without a trace not too far from here, right?”

Several of the boys nodded.

“Well, the rumors were wrong. There were lots of traces of Troop 192. There were traces all over the place…on the ground, up in the trees, by the lake, maybe even under where you’re sitting right now. Imagine if you took a blender, like the kind your mothers use to make smoothies, but it was a giant blender, maybe…I dunno, eighteen feet high. And then you dropped the entire Troop 192 into it, and accidentally left the lid off, so that when you pressed the ‘blend’ button they sprayed all over the place. That’s what it looked like.”

“I heard it was just one kid who went missing,” said Anthony.

Hollis shrugged. “If you think one little kid has that many guts inside of his body, more power to you, but I was here. I saw it. It was gross.”

“My mom said they found him the next morning. He was playing Nintendo.”

“Oh, well, I guess your mom is in a position where she was allowed to accompany the law enforcement agencies on their search, huh? Did she somehow become deputized without anybody hearing about it? Do Hooters waitresses typically get to tag along on searches for missing children?”

“She works at Olive Garden.”

“Whatever. She wasn’t there on the night of the investigation. I’m telling you that it was the entire troop, and their insides were strewn as far as the eye can see.” Hollis made a grand gesture with both arms to emphasize the extent of the carnage. “And do you know who got blamed for it?”

Several of the scouts shook their heads.

“Madman Charlie. Oh, they arrested him, and sent him to the electric chair the next morning. But it wasn’t Madman Charlie. When Troop 192 was massacred, he was off murdering a young woman in a completely different county. No, Troop 192 wasn’t slaughtered by Madman Charlie. They weren’t even slaughtered by something…human.”

One of the youngest scouts, Billy somebody, raised his hand. No doubt because he was too terrified to hear more.

“Billy, are you too terrified to hear more?” Hollis asked. “Because that’s okay. Nobody here will judge you.”

“No, Mr. Hollis. I have to go to the bathroom.”

Hollis sighed again. “Go ahead, Billy. But don’t go too far away. Anyway, there’s something inhuman in these woods. Something that hungers for human flesh.”

Theolonious raised his hand. Probably wet himself he was so scared.

“Do we have any more hot dogs?” Theolonious asked.

“You already had three.”

“Jimmy ate the one I dropped one the ground.”

“Jimmy didn’t come with us on this trip.”

“Well, okay, I ate it, but it wasn’t as good as the two that didn’t get dropped on the ground. Can I please have another one?”

“This inhuman creature,” Hollis said, ignoring him and raising his voice, “slaughtered Troop 192 on a night very much like tonight. It cracked open their bones and sucked out the marrow, and slurped up their intestines like spaghetti, then flossed its sharp fangs with their muscle fibers. And rumor has it this insatiable monster still hunts in these very woods, on the night of…” Hollis paused for dramatic effect, “the full moon.”

“Was it a Dracula?” Cecil asked.

“Draculas don’t rip people up,” said Anthony. “Draculas just look unhappy a lot, and kiss girls like in that movie my sister watched seventeen gazillion hundred times.”

“Those were dumb Draculas,” said Cecil. “But there are cool Draculas, like in Lord of the Rings.”

“Those were orcs.”

“Not those! The other ones!”

“That was a Kraken!”

“The horrible creature,” Hollis said, standing tall and raising his arms over his head, “was a werewolf!”

“I thought werewolves just took off their shirts a lot like in that movie with the Draculas.”

Hollis shook his head. “In real life, werewolves like to crack open the rib cages of little boys with their sharp claws and bite their still-beating hearts right from their chests. That’s what happened to Troop 192.”

“If they were attacked by a werewolf,” said Anthony, “wouldn’t they become werewolves?”

“Not if their bodies were shredded and thrown around all over the trees and lake and ground. If you’d been paying attention when I started telling the story you could have caught that little detail.”

“What if a werewolf bit a skunk?” Theolonious asked. “Would it become a werewolfskunk?”

“A werewolf wouldn’t bite a skunk,” Hollis said.

“Why not?”

“Why would it bite a skunk? Would you bite a skunk?”

“I wouldn’t bite a skunk today,” said Mortimer, “but if I was a werewolf, I think I’d bite a skunk if there was one sitting there. You’d have to bite it gently, y’know, so that its whole head doesn’t come off, but I think, y’know, werewolves can bite gently when they want to, even though they usually don’t. They couldn’t use their whole jaw or, y’know, anything like that, but if they just used their front teeth and didn’t close them all the way, I think they could bite a skunk without its head coming off.”

The other cub scouts murmured their agreement.

“Y’know,” Mortimer added.

“And what if the werewolfskunk bit a deer?” asked Theolonious. “Would it turn into a werewolfskunkdeer?”

“I want to know how one werewolf ate all of Troop 192,” said Cecil. “How big is a werewolf’s stomach?”

“Haven’t I already explained that twice?” asked Hollis. “The werewolf didn’t eat their whole bodies. He ate the best parts, then scattered the rest of them all over the place so that the kids couldn’t turn into little werewolves. Do you want a demerit? Do you?”

“I need toilet paper!” Billy yelled from the woods.

“Use leaves!” Hollis hollered back.

“I tried! They’re all stuck to me!”

Fredrick raised his hand. “Would a werewolfskunkdeer try to eat people? Or would it just forage for nuts and berries?”

“You don’t even know what ‘forage’ means,” said Silas.

“It means to search for provisions.”

“Well, you don’t know what ‘tourniquet’ means!”

“Yes, I do. We learned about them last week. It’s that thing you twist around your arm or leg to stop bleeding.”

“Well, you don’t know what ‘hypothesis’ means!”

“Silas! Enough!” Hollis clenched and unclenched his fists a few times. “Anyway…”

Theolonious frowned. “So is a werewolfskunkdeer a person who changes into something that’s a wolf, skunk, and deer all at once, like it has fur and Bambi eyes and sprays skunk spray, or is it a person who can change into a wolf or a skunk or a deer?”

“I have no idea,” Hollis said.

“I think he changes into one of them, but he can’t control which one it is. So he’ll be fighting Bigfoot and he’ll want to change into a wolf because wolves are better at fighting Bigfoot, but he’ll change into a skunk instead and Bigfoot just steps on him. That’s probably why you don’t see many werewolfskunkdeers around anymore.”

“What if a werewolf bit a Dracula who bit a zombie who then bit the werewolf?” asked Cecil.

“My baby brother bit the babysitter, but she didn’t turn into a baby.”

“Shut up!” said Theolonious. “That’s not what we’re talking about!”

“But what if a werewolfskunkdeer bit a wolf? Is it a werewolfskunkdeerwolf, or does the wolf part just not matter because it was already a wolf?”

“Werewolfwolfskunkdeer sounds better,” said Anthony.

“Soon the full moon will rise,” Hollis said, raising his arms theatrically. “And then the werewolf takes its supernatural form and…”

“You mean the werewolfwolfskunkdeer.”

“No. I mean the werewolf. There’s no such thing as a werewolfskunkdeer.”

“You forgot the extra wolf. It’s werewolfwolfskunkdeer.”

“I did not forget the extra wolf. We aren’t talking about the werewolfskunk deer.”

“The werewolfwolfskunkdeer.”

“We’re talking about a werewolf! A regular old werewolf! That’s it. Just a man who turns into a goddamn wolf, okay?”

The scouts went silent. Hollis knew he’d gone too far by using the g.d. word, but the punchline to his story was so amazing and they were ruining it.

“Mr. Hollis, is this poison oak?” Billy asked, walking back to the campfire holding some leaves.

“Yes, Billy. Put that down.”

“I wish I’d picked different leaves. Can I go home?”

“No. There’s some baking soda in the tent. Let me finish my story and I’ll get it for you.”

“Could a werewolf eat a baby whole, in one bite?” asked Anthony.

“I suppose one could,” Hollis said. Actually, he knew that one could. Firsthand. Heh heh.

“So when it pooped out the baby, would the baby be a werepoopwolf?”

“What if a werepoopwolf bit a werewolfwolfskunkdeer?”

“It would be a werewolfwolfwolfpoopskunkdeer.”

“Enough,” Hollis said. “The next person who says something gets a bad report to their parents and they won’t get to come on any more of these trips. Got it? See that full moon up there? That ties into our little story, doesn’t it? Do you see the connection between what happened to Troop 192 and the lunar cycle of today? You get it, right? Do you know what Troop 192 was doing on that fateful night? They were—irony alert—sitting around listening to scary stories from their scoutmaster! Do you get where this is going?”

The scouts remained silent.

Hollis stood up.

“That’s riiiiiiiiight! The story I was trying to tell you is foreshadowing what’s going to happen tonight! Ha! How about that, you little brats? The reason there are so many similarities in the fate of Troop 192 and our situation at this very moment is because I am a werewolf!”

He stood there, facing the moonlight, waiting for the inevitable transformation.

“What story did you tell the other kids?” Cecil asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Were you telling them about another werewolf attack before that one?”

“Yes. That’s right. It’s all a vicious cycle. Each story I tell the scouts is about the previous massacre. I’ll tell the next troop about you guys.”

“If you killed all of those Cub Scout Troops, who keeps hiring you as a scoutmaster?”

He adjusted his angle. Change, dammit, change!

Theolonious raised his hand. “So if you bit a mummy—?”

Screw it, Hollis thought. He’d brought an axe.

Frederick was first, right in the middle of another stupid question when the axe caught him under the chin. It cleaved his jaw in half, his tongue waggling through the gap, blood spurting like a lawn sprinkler.

Hollis pinned Billy under his foot and hacked his arm off, then dangled it above his face, teasing him.

“Stop hitting yourself!” he yelled in Billy’s face, slapping him with his own hand. It was good fun until shock set in and Billy stopped screaming.

Cecil got a straight chop to the throat, but the axe wasn’t sharp enough to decapitate him fully, and his head flopped backward, still attached to some sinew.

As he’d warned earlier, Hollis drove the axe head into Anthony’s ribcage, cracking it open, then diving in the feast on the child’s still-beating heart with his razor-sharp werewolf fangs that seemed rather flat and dull for the job. He did manage to bite off a piece of something that could have been a ventricle, but might have been an atrium. Hollis always got those confused.

Theolonius watched, eyes wide, hugging his knees. He was covered in blood that wasn’t his own. Hollis raised the axe, ready to make a lupine feast of the boy’s small brain, when Theolonious began to scream.

No, not a scream.

That’s more like a howl.

First the boy’s nose extended, becoming hairy and snoutish.

Then claws burst from his fingertips, curving into the shape of scythes.

Hollis dropped the axe, dumbfounded, as the miniature werewolf then grew…

Antlers?

Theolonious quickly spun around, lifting his giant black tail, one that had a white stripe running down it ala Pepe Le Pew.

“Oh no…”

The werewolfskunkdeer sprayed Hollis with its anal scent glands while the scoutmaster was screaming, and some of the spray got into Hollis’s mouth. The smell…the taste…was so bad, Hollis had no choice but to whip out his Swiss Army Knife, thumb open the mini scissors, and immediately begin snipping away at his own nose and tongue, snip snip snipping until…

“Mr. Hollis? Is this the baking soda?”

Hollis blinked away the daydream and stared at Billy.

Hollis sighed. “That’s it, Billy.”

Theolonious raised his hand. “Mr. Hollis? Will we get our fishing merit badges tomorrow?”

“Yes, Theolonious.”

“Is storytime over?” Cecil asked.

“I guess.”

Silas raised his hand.

“What, Silas? Do you want to ask me what ‘transitory’ means?”

“I want to know what’s wrong with your ears. They’re getting longer.”

Hollis slapped his hands against the sides of his head. Indeed, his ears were getting longer. Longer and hairier.

He jammed a finger into his mouth, tapping the quick growing fangs.

It’s about time.

Hollis leapt onto Silas, taking the boys whole head in his mouth. He squeezed his mighty werewolf jaws closed, feeling the skull bend inward, then crack suddenly, popping open like a walnut, squirting hot brains through Silas’s nasal cavity.

With Cecil, he dug his snout into the boy’s belly, clenching his teeth down on a length of intestines, holding tight as Cecil ran for the trees. Cecil managed to pull out his intestines, both large and small, his colon, his stomach, and something that might have been a spleen, before keeling over.

With Billy, Hollis dug one of his claws through the child’s eye socket, then dug it through his skull and out the other eye, holding him like a six-pack. Then he pulled, tearing off the bridge of Billy’s nose.

Theolonious cried out in horror, and Hollis ripped his lungs out of his chest, squeezing them like an accordion, making the scream go on and on and…

“Mr. Hollis? Is that a werewolfskunkdeer?” Cecil asked, pointing at something in the woods.

Hollis shook his head to clear it. The fantasies were getting more and more real. The medication wasn’t working like it should.

“It’s not?” Cecil asked.

“What are you pointing at, Cecil?”

“That thing, with the horns.”

“You mean the tree?”

“No, the…oh, yeah. The branches looked like horns.”

And then the transformation began. For real this time? Hollis bit down on the inside of his mouth as hard as he could. It hurt like hell—this was definitely real. Those little bastards were about to see what a true werewolf could do.

The scouts stared at him. Their jaws dropped as one.

The inside of his cheek was bleeding pretty badly. He shouldn’t have bit so hard.

“That’s right,” he said. “Just like I’ve been hinting over and over, I am a werewolf! And on this night of the full moon, I shall enjoy a Cub Scout gore feast!”

Cecil screamed. Hollis laughed and then, transformation complete, let out the howl of the beast he had become.

“That’s it?” asked Billy.

“What?”

“You’re not very furry.”

“My arms are hairy!”

“Not that hairy. My dad’s arms are hairier.”

“Look at my ears! Those aren’t normal ears anymore. Look at my fingernails! And my nose sort of looks like a snout now!”

“I thought werewolves were supposed to be a lot scarier,” said Theolonious.

“You know what? You kids suck! It’s not my fault that the werewolf who bit me didn’t break the skin all the way, and that I don’t do a complete change! You should still be terrified! When’s the last time you saw somebody’s fingernails grow a full half-inch within ten seconds? Never, that’s when? You’ve never seen somebody’s nose change shape like that!”

“My sister got hit in the face with a basketball and—”

“Shut the hell up! I have killed hundreds of Cub Scouts, and if you think your ridiculous werewolfwolfskunkdeermoosepygmy fucker is the height of terror, then you can all just…just…” No, no, no, I promised myself I wasn’t going to do this again. Please, not again. Don’t let it happen again…

It happened again. Hollis succumbed to tears.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

“Mr. Hollis, can we go home and play Nintendo?”

“Yes.” Mr. Hollis wiped the tears from his eyes. “Yes, we can.”

THE END

Serial

A Bonus Short Story by Blake Crouch & J.A. Konrath

1

The hardest thing about killing a hitchhiker is finding one to pick up.

Donaldson could remember just ten years ago, when interstates boasted a hitcher every ten miles, and a discriminating killer could pick and choose who looked the easiest, the most fun, the juiciest. These days, cops kept the expressways clear of easy marks, and Donaldson was forced to cruise off-ramps, underpasses, and rest areas, prowl back roads, take one hour coffee breaks at oases. Recreational murder was becoming more trouble than it was worth.

He’d found this one standing in a Cracker Barrel parking lot. The kid had been obvious, leaning against the cement ashtray near the entrance, an oversize hiking pack strapped to his back. He was approaching every patron leaving the restaurant, practicing his grin between rejections.

A ripe plum, ready to pluck.

Donaldson didn’t even have to initiate contact. He walked in to use the bathroom and strolled out car keys in hand, letting them jingle a bit. The kid solicited him almost immediately.

“Excuse me, sir. Are you heading up north?”

Donaldson stopped, pretending to notice the man for the first time. He was young, maybe mid-twenties. Short, reddish hair, a few freckles on his face, mostly hidden by glasses. His clothing looked worn but of good quality. Donaldson was twice his age, and damn near twice his weight.

Donaldson rubbed his chin, which he knew softened his harsh features.

“In fact I am, son.”

The boy’s eyes lit up, but he kept a lid on his excitement. Any hitcher worth his salt knew to test the waters before sealing the deal.

“I am, too. If you’d like some company, I can chip in for gas.” He hooded his eyes and quickly added, “No funny stuff. I’m just looking for a ride. I was hoping to get to Ogden by midnight. Got family up there. My name’s Brett, by the way.”

Well played, Donaldson thought. Friendly, a little desperate, making clear this wasn’t a sexual hookup and that he had people waiting for him.

As if any of that would keep him safe.

“How do I know you’re not some psycho?” Donaldson asked. He knew that was pushing it, but he liked the irony.

“There’s a gas station across the street. I can top off the tank, pay with a credit card. All gas stations have cameras these days. Credit card is a paper trail. If anything happens to you, that would link me to your car, and I’d get caught.”

Smart kid. But not that smart.

The really smart ones don’t hitchhike.

“Won’t need gas for a few hundred miles.” Donaldson took off his Cubs baseball hat, running a hand over his gray, thinning hair. Another way to disarm the victim. No one feared grandfatherly types. “Until then, if you promise not to sing any show tunes, you got yourself a ride.”

Brett smiled, hefted his pack onto his shoulders, and followed his ride into the parking lot. Donaldson unlocked the doors and the kid loaded his pack into the backseat of Donaldson’s 2006 black Honda Accord, pausing when he saw the clear plastic covers on the front seats.

“My dog, Neil, usually rides up front with me,” Donaldson said, shrugging. “I don’t like him messing up the upholstery.”

Brett flashed skepticism until he noticed the picture taped to the dash: Donaldson and a furry dachshund.

“Sheds like crazy,” Donaldson said. “If you buy a dog, stick with short-haired breeds.”

That was apparently reassurance enough, because Brett climbed in.

Donaldson heaved himself into the driver’s seat, the car bouncing on its shocks.

“Buckle up for safety.” Donaldson resisted the urge to lick his lips, then released the brake, started the car, and pulled onto the highway.

The first ten miles were awkward. Always were. Strangers tended to stay strangers. How often did a person initiate conversation on a plane or while waiting in line? People kept to themselves. It made them feel safe.

Donaldson broke the tension by asking the standard questions. Where’d you go to school? What do you do for a living? Where you headed? When’d you start hitchhiking? Invariably, the conversation turned to him.

“So what’s your name?” Brett asked.

“Donaldson.” No point in lying. Brett wouldn’t be alive long enough to tell anyone.

“What do you do, Donaldson?”

“I’m a courier.”

Donaldson sipped from the Big Gulp container in the cup holder, taking a hit of caffeinated sugar water. He offered the cup to Brett, who shook his head. Probably worried about germs. Donaldson smiled. That should have been the least of his worries.

“So you mean you deliver packages?”

“I deliver anything. Sometimes overnight delivery isn’t fast enough, and people are willing to pay a premium to get it same day.”

“What sort of things?”

“Things people need right away. Legal documents. Car parts for repairs. A diabetic forgets his insulin, guy loses his glasses and can’t drive home without them, kid needs his cello for a recital. Or a kidney needs to get to a transplant location on time. That’s the run I’m on right now.”

Donaldson jerked a thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the backseat floorboard. Brett glanced back, saw a cooler sitting there, a biohazard sticker on the lid.

“No kidding, there’s a kidney in there?”

“There will be, once I get it.” Donaldson winked at the kid. “By the way, what’s your blood type?”

The kid chuckled nervously. Donaldson joined in.

A long stretch of road approaching. No cars in either direction.

“Sounds like an interesting job,” Brett said.

“It is. Perfect for a loner like me. That’s why it’s nice to have company every so often. Gets lonely on the road.”

“What about Neil?”

“Neil?”

Brett pointed at the photograph on the dashboard. “Your dog. You said he rode with you sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah. Neil. Of course. But it isn’t the same as having a human companion. Know what I mean?”

Brett nodded, then glanced at the fuel gauge.

“You’re down to a quarter tank,” he said.

“Really? I thought I just filled up. Next place we see, I’ll take you up on that offer to pay.”

It was a bright, sunny late afternoon, clean country air blowing in through the inch of window Donaldson had open. A perfect day for a drive. The road ahead was clear, no one behind them.

“So seriously,” Donaldson asked, “What’s your blood type?”

Brett’s chuckle sounded forced this time, and Donaldson didn’t join in. Brett put his hand in his pocket. Going for a weapon, or holding one for reassurance, Donaldson figured. Not many hitchers traveled without some form of reassurance.

But Donaldson had something better than a knife, or a gun. His weapon weighed thirty-six hundred pounds and was barreling down the road at eighty miles per hour.

Checking once more for traffic, Donaldson gripped the wheel, braced himself, and stood on the brake.

The car screeched toward a skidding halt, Brett’s seatbelt popping open exactly the way Donaldson had rigged it to, and the kid launched headfirst into the dashboard. The spongy plastic had, beneath the veneer, been reinforced with unforgiving steel.

The car shuddered to a stop, the stench of scorched rubber in the air. Brett was in bad shape. With no seatbelt and one hand in his pocket, he’d banged his nose up pretty good. Donaldson grasped his hair, rammed his face into the dashboard two more times, then opened the glove compartment. He grabbed a plastic zip tie, checked again for oncoming traffic, and quickly secured the kid’s hands behind his back. In Brett’s coat pocket, he found a tiny Swiss Army knife. Donaldson barked out a laugh.

If memory served, and it usually did, there was an off ramp less than a mile ahead, and then a remote stretch of farmland. Donaldson pulled back onto the highway and headed for it, whistling as he drove.

The farm stood just where he remembered it. Donaldson pulled off the road into a cornfield and drove through the dead stalks until he could no longer see the road. He killed the engine, set the parking brake—the Accord had transmission issues—then tugged out the keys to ensure it wouldn’t roll away.

His passenger whimpered as Donaldson muscled him out of the car and dragged him into the stalks.

He whimpered even more when Donaldson jerked his pants down around his ankles, got him loosened up with an ear of corn, and then forced himself inside.

“Gonna stab me with your little knife?” he whispered in Brett’s ear between grunts. “Think that was going to save you?”

When he’d finished, Donaldson sat on the kid’s chest and tried out all the attachments on the Swiss Army knife for himself. The tiny scissors worked well on eyelids. The nail file just reached the eardrums. The little two-inch blade was surprisingly sharp and adept at whittling the nose down to the cartilage. And the corkscrew did a fine job on Brett’s Adam’s apple, popping it out in one piece and leaving a gaping hole that poured blood bright as a young cabernet.

Apple was a misnomer. It tasted more like a peach pit. Sweet and stringy.

He shoved another ear of corn into Brett’s neck hole, then stood up to watch.

Donaldson had killed a lot of people in a lot of different ways, but suffocation especially tickled his funny bone. When people bled to death they just got sleepy. It was tough to see their expression when they were on fire, with all the thrashing and flames. Damaging internal organs, depending on the organ, was either too fast, too slow, or too loud.

But a human being deprived of oxygen would panic for several minutes, providing quite a show. This kid lasted almost five, his eyes bulging out, wrenching his neck side to side in futile attempts to remove the cob, and turning all the colors of the rainbow before finally giving up the ghost. It got Donaldson so excited he almost raped him again. But the rest of the condoms were in the car, and befitting a man his age, once he got them and returned to the scene of death, his ardor probably would have waned.

He didn’t bother trying to take Brett’s kidney, or any of his other parts. What the heck could he do with his organs anyway? Sell them on eBay?

Cleanup was the part Donaldson hated most, but he always followed a strict procedure. First, he bagged everything associated with the crime. The rubber, the zip tie, the Swiss Army knife, and the two corn cobs, which might have his prints on them. Then he took a spray bottle of bleach solution and a roll of paper towels and cleaned out the interior of his car. He used baby wipes on himself, paying special attention to his fingernails. Everything went into the white plastic garbage bag, along with a full can of gasoline and more bleach spray.

He took the money from Brett’s wallet—forty lousy bucks—and found nothing of interest in his backpack. These went into the bag as well, and then he soaked that and the body with lighter fluid.

The fire started easily. Donaldson knew from experience that he had about five minutes before the gas can exploded. He drove out of the cornfield at a fast clip, part of him disappointed he couldn’t stay to watch the fireworks.

The final result would be a mess for anyone trying to ID the victim, gather evidence, or figure out what exactly had happened. If the body wasn’t discovered right away, and the elements and hungry animals added to the chaos, it would be a crime scene investigator’s worst nightmare.

Donaldson knew how effective his disposal method was, because he’d used it twenty-six times and hadn’t ever been so much as questioned by police.

He wondered if the FBI had a nickname for him, something sexy like The Roadside Burner. But he wasn’t convinced those jokers had even connected his many crimes. Donaldson’s courier route took him across four large, Western states, a land area of over four hundred thousand square miles. He waited at least a year before returning to any particular spot, and he was finding new places to play all the time.

Donaldson knew he would never be caught. He was smart, patient, and never compulsive. He could keep on doing this until he died or his pecker wore out, and they had pills these days to fix that.

He reached I-15 at rush hour, traffic clogging routes both in and out of Salt Lake, and he was feeling happy and immortal until some jerk in a Winnebago decided to drive ten miles under the speed limit. Irritated motorists tagged along like ducklings, many of them using their horns, and everyone taking their good sweet time getting by in the passing lane.

Seriously, they shouldn’t allow some people on the road.

Donaldson was considering passing the whole lot of them on the shoulder, and as he surveyed the route and got ready to gun it, he saw a cute chick in pink shoes standing at the cloverleaf. Short, lugging a guitar case, jutting out a hip and shaking her thumb at everyone who passed.

Two in one day? he thought. Do I have the energy?

He cranked open the window to get rid of the bleach smell, and pulled up next to her under the overpass, feeling his arousal returning.

2

She set the guitar case on the pavement and stuck out her thumb. The minivan shrieked by. She turned her head, watched it go—no brakelights. The disappointment blossomed hot and sharp in her gut, like a shot of iced Stoli. Despite the midmorning brilliance of the rising sun, she could feel the cold gnawing through the tips of her gloved fingers, the earflaps of her black woolen hat.

According to her Internet research, 491 (previously 666) ranked as the third least traveled highway in the Lower-Forty-Eight, with an average of four cars passing a fixed point any given hour. Less of course at night. The downside of hitchhiking these little-known thoroughfares was the waiting, but the upside paid generous dividends in privacy.

She exhaled a steaming breath and looked around. Painfully blue sky. Treeless high desert. Mountains thirty miles east. A further range to the northwest. They stood blanketed in snow, and on some level she understood that others would find them dramatic and beautiful, and she wondered what it felt like to be moved by nature.

Two hours later, she lifted her guitar case and walked up the shoulder toward the idling Subaru Outback, heard the front passenger window humming down. She mustered a faint smile as she reached the door. Two young men in the front seats stared at her. They seemed roughly her age and friendly enough, if a little hungover. Open cans of Bud in the center console drink holders had perfumed the interior with the sour stench of beer—a good omen, she thought. Might make things easier.

“Where you headed?” the driver asked. He had sandy hair and an elaborate goatee. Impressive cords of bicep strained the cotton fibers of his muscle shirt. The passenger looked native—dark hair and eyes, brown skin, a thin, implausible mustache.

“Salt Lake,” she said.

“We’re going to Tahoe. We could take you at least to I-15.”

She surveyed the rear storage compartment—crammed with two snowboards and the requisite boots, parkas, snow pants, goggles, and…she suppressed the jolt of pleasure—helmets. She hadn’t thought of that before.

A duffle bag took up the left side of the backseat. A little tight, but then she stood just five feet in her pink crocs. She could manage.

“Comfortable back there?” the driver asked.

“Yes.”

Their eyes met in the rearview mirror.

“What’s your name?”

“Lucy.”

“Lucy, I’m Matt. This is Kenny. We were just about to have us a morning toke before we picked you up. Would it bother you if we did?”

“Not at all.”

“Pack that pipe, bro.”

They got high as they crossed into Utah and became talkative and philosophically confident. They offered her some pot, but she declined. It grew hot in the car and she removed her hat and unbuttoned her black trench coat, breathing the fresh air coming in through the crack at the top of the window.

“So where you going?” the Indian asked her.

“Salt Lake.”

“I already asked her that, bro.”

“No, I mean what for?”

“See some family.”

“We’re going to Tahoe. Do some snowboarding at Heavenly.”

“Already told her that, bro.”

The two men broke up into laughter.

“So you play guitar, huh?” Kenny said.

“Yes.”

“Wanna strum something for us?”

“Not just yet.”

They stopped at a filling station in Moab. Matt pumped gas and Kenny went inside the convenience store to procure the substantial list of snacks they’d been obsessing on for the last hour. When Matt walked inside to pay, she opened the guitar case and took out the syringe. The smell wafted out—not overpowering by any means, but she wondered if the boys would notice. She hadn’t had a chance to properly clean everything in awhile. Lucy reached up between the seats and tested the weight of the two Budweisers in the drink holders: each about half-full. She eyed the entrance to the store—no one coming—and shot a squirt from the syringe into the mouth of each can.

Kenny cracked a can of Bud and said, “Dude, was that shit laced?”

“What are you talking about?”

They sped through a country of red rock and buttes and waterless arroyos.

“What we smoked.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Man, I don’t feel right. Where’d you get it?”

“From Tim. Same as always.”

Lucy leaned forward and studied the double yellow line through the windshield. After Matt drifted across for a third time, she said, “Would you pull over please?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to be sick.”

“Oh God, don’t puke on our shit.”

Matt pulled over onto the shoulder and Lucy opened her door and stumbled out. As she worked her way down a gentle embankment making fake retching sounds, she heard Matt saying, “Dude? Dude? Come on, dude! Wake up, dude!”

She waited in the bed of the arroyo for ten minutes and then started back up the hill toward the car. Matt had slumped across the center console into Kenny’s lap. The man probably weighed two hundred pounds, and it took Lucy ten minutes to shove him, millimeter by millimeter, into the passenger seat on top of Kenny. She climbed in behind the wheel and slid the seat all the way forward and cranked the engine.

She turned off of I-70 onto 24. According to her map, this stretch of highway ran forty-four miles to a nothing town called Hanksville. From her experience, it didn’t get much quieter than this barren, lifeless waste of countryside.

Ten miles south, she veered onto a dirt road and followed it the length of several football fields, until the highway was almost lost to sight. She killed the engine, stepped out. Late afternoon. Windless. Soundless. The boys would be waking soon, and she was already starting to glow. She opened the guitar case and retrieved the syringe, gave Kenny and Matt another healthy dose.

By the time she’d wrangled them out of the car into the desert, dusk had fallen and she’d drenched herself in sweat. She rolled the men onto their backs and splayed out their arms and legs so they appeared to be making snow angels in the dirt.

Lucy removed their shoes and socks. The pair of scissors was the kind used to cut raw chicken, with thick, serrated blades. She trimmed off their shirts and cut away their pants and underwear.

Kenny and Matt had returned to full, roaring consciousness by 1:15 A.M. Naked. Ankles and wrists tightly bound with deeply scuffed handcuffs, heads helmeted, staring at the small, plain hitchhiker who squatted down facing them at the back of the car, blinding them with a hand held spotlight.

“I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up,” Lucy said.

“What the hell are you doing?” Matt looked angry.

Kenny said, “These cuffs hurt. Get them off.”

She held a locking carabiner attached to a chain that ran underneath the Subaru. She clipped it onto another pair of carabiners. A rope fed through each one, and the ends of the ropes had been tied to the handcuffs on the boys’ ankles.

“Oh my God, she’s crazy, dude.”

“Lucy, please. Don’t. We’ll give you anything you want. We won’t tell anyone.”

She smiled. “That’s really sweet of you, Matt, but this is what I want. Kind of have my heart set on it.”

She stepped over the tangle of chain and rope and moved toward the driver’s door as the boys hollered after her.

She left the hatch open so she could hear them. Kept looking back as she drove slowly, so slowly, along the dirt road. They were still begging her, and occasionally yelling when they dragged over a rock or a cactus, but she got them to the shoulder of Highway 24 with only minor injuries.

The moon was up and nearly full. She could see five miles of the road in either direction, so perfectly empty and black, and she wondered if the way it touched her in this moment felt anything like how the beauty of the those mountains she’d seen this morning touched normal people.

Lucy buckled her seatbelt and glanced in the rearview mirror. Matt had climbed to his feet, and he hobbled toward the car.

“Hey, no fair!” she yelled and gave the accelerator a little gas, jerking his feet out from under him. “All right, count of three. We’ll start small with half a mile!”

She grasped the steering wheel, heart pumping. She’d done this a half dozen times but never with helmets.

“One! Two! Three!”

She reset the odometer and eased onto the accelerator. Five, ten, fifteen, twenty miles per hour, and the boys already beginning to scream. At four-tenths of a mile, she hit forty, and in the rearview mirror, Kenny’s and Matt’s pale and naked bodies writhed in full-throated agony, both trying to sit up and grab the rope and failing as they slid across the pavement on their bare backs, dragged by their cuffed ankles, the chains throwing gorgeous yellow sparks against the asphalt.

She eased off the gas and pulled over onto the shoulder. Collected the spray bottle from the guitar case, unbuckled, jumped out, and went to the boys. They lay on their backs, blood pooling beneath them. Kenny must have rolled briefly onto his right elbow, because it had been sanded down to bone.

“Please,” Matt croaked. “Please.”

“You don’t know how beautiful you look,” she said, “but I’m gonna make you even prettier.” She spritzed them with pure, organic lemon juice, especially their backs, and to the heartwarming depth of their new screams, skipped back to the car and hopped in and stomped the gas, their cries rising into something like the baying of hounds, Lucy howling back. She pushed the Subaru past fifty, to sixty, to seventy-five, and in the illumination of the spotlight, the boys bounced along the pavement, on their backs, their sides, their stomachs, and with every passing second looking more and more lovely, and still making those delicious screams she could almost taste, Lucy driving with no headlights, doing eighty under the moon, and the cold winter wind rushing through the windows like the breath of God.

She made it five miles (no one had ever lasted five miles and she credited those well-made snowboarding helmets) before the skeletons finally went quiet.

Lucy ditched what was left of the boys and drove all night like she’d done six blasts of coke, arriving in Salt Lake as the sun edged up over the mountains. She checked into a Red Roof Inn and ran a hot bath and cleaned the new blood and the old blood out of the ropes and let the carabiners and the chains and the handcuffs soak in the soapy water.

In the evening she awoke, that dark weight perched on her chest again. The guitar case items had dried, and she packed them away and dressed and headed out. The motel stood along the interstate, and it came down to Applebee’s or Chili’s.

She went with the latter, because she loved their Awesome Blossom.

After dinner, she walked outside and stared at the Subaru in the parking lot, the black rot flooding back inside of her, that restless, awful energy that could never be fully sated, those seconds of release never fully quenching, like water tinged with salt. She turned away from the Subaru and walked along the frontage road until she came to a hole in the fence. Ducked through. Scrambled down to the shoulder of the interstate.

Traffic was moderate, the night cold and starry. A line of cars approached, bottled up behind a Winnebago.

She walked under the bridge, set down her guitar case, and stuck out her thumb.

3

Donaldson pulled over onto the shoulder and lowered the passenger window. The girl was young and tiny, wearing a wool cap despite the relative warmth.

“Where you headed?” He winked before he said it, his smile genuine.

“Missoula,” Lucy answered.

“Got a gig up there?” He pointed his chin at her guitar case.

She shrugged.

“Well, I’m going north. If you chip in for gas, and promise not to sing any show tunes, you can hop in.”

The girl seemed to consider it, then nodded. She opened the rear door and awkwardly fit the guitar case onto the backseat. Before getting in, she stared at the upholstery on the front seats.

“What’s with the plastic?” she asked, indicating Donaldson’s clear seat covers.

“Sometimes I travel with my dog.”

Lucy squinted at the picture taped to the dashboard—the portly driver holding a long-haired dachshund.

“What’s its name?”

“Scamp. Loveable little guy. Hates it when I’m away. But I’m away a lot. I’m a courier. Right now, I’m headed up to Idaho Falls to pick up a donor kidney.”

Her eyes flitted to the backseat, to a cooler with a biohazard sign on the lid.

“Don’t worry,” he said, taking off his hat and rubbing a hand through his thinning gray hair. “It’s empty for the time being.”

The girl nodded, started to get in, then stopped. “Would you mind if I sat in the back? I don’t want to make you feel like a chauffeur, but I get nauseated riding up front unless I’m driving.”

Donaldson paused. “Normally I wouldn’t mind, Miss, but I don’t have any seat belts back there, and I insist my passengers wear one. Safety first, I always say.”

“Of course. Can’t be too careful. Cars can be dangerous.”

“Indeed they can. Indeed.”

The front passenger door squeaked open, and the girl hopped in. Donaldson watched her buckle up, and then he accelerated back onto the highway.

Grinning at her, he rubbed his chin and asked, “So what’s your name, little lady?”

“I’m Lucy.” She looked down at the center console. A Big Gulp sweated in the drink holder. She reached into her pocket and looked at the man and smiled. “I really appreciate you picking me up. I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Donaldson. Pleased to meet you.”

“Is that really your last name, or are you one of those guys who have a last name for a first name?”

“No, that’s my first.”

They drove in silence for a mile, Donaldson glancing between the girl and the road.

“Highway’s packed this time of day. I bet we’d make better time on the county roads. Less traffic. If that’s okay with you, of course.”

“I was actually just going to suggest that,” Lucy said. “Weird.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.” Donaldson glanced down at Lucy’s pocket. “Pretty young thing like yourself might get nervous driving off the main drag. In fact, you don’t see many young lady hitchers these days. I think horror movies scared them all away. Everyone’s worried about climbing into the car with a maniac.”

Donaldson chuckled.

“I love county roads,” Lucy said. “Much prettier scenery, don’t you think?”

He nodded, taking the next exit, and Lucy leaned over, almost into his lap, and glanced at the gas gauge.

“You’re running pretty low there. Your reserve light’s on. Why don’t we stop at this gas station up ahead. I’ll put twenty in the tank. I also need something to drink. This mountain air is making my throat dry.”

Donaldson shifted in his seat. “Oh, that light just came on, and I can get fifty miles on reserve. This is a Honda, you know.”

“But why push our luck? And I’m really thirsty, Donaldson.”

“Here.” He lifted his Big Gulp. “It’s still half full.”

“No offense, but I don’t drink after strangers, and I um…this is embarrassing…I have a cold sore in my mouth.”

The gas station was coming up fast, and by all accounts it appeared to be the last stop before the county road started its climb into the mountains, into darkness.

“Who am I to say no to a lady?” Donaldson said.

He tapped the brakes and coasted into the station. It had probably been there for forty years, and hadn’t updated since then. Donaldson sidled up to an old-school pump—one with a meter where the numbers actually scrolled up, built way back when closed-circuit cameras were something out of a science fiction magazine.

Donaldson peered over Lucy, into the small store. A bored female clerk sat behind the counter, apparently asleep. White trash punching the minimum wage clock, not one to pay much attention.

“The tank’s on your side,” Donaldson said. “I don’t think these old ones take credit cards.”

“I can pay cash inside. I buy, you fly.”

Donaldson nodded. “Okay. I’m fine with doin’ the pumpin’. Twenty, you said?”

“Yeah. You want anything?”

“If they have any gum that isn’t older than I am, pick me up a pack. I’ve got an odd taste in my mouth for some reason.”

Lucy got out of the car. Donaldson opened the glove compartment and quickly shoved something into his coat pocket. Then he set the parking brake, pocketed the keys, and followed her out.

While Donaldson stood pumping gas into the Honda, Lucy walked across the oil-stained pavement and into the store. The clerk didn’t acknowledge her entrance, just sat staring at a small black-and-white television airing Jeopardy, her chin propped up in her hand and a Marlboro Red with a one-inch ash trailing smoke toward the ceiling.

Lucy walked down the aisle to the back of the store and picked a Red Bull out of the refrigerated case. At the drink fountain, she went with the smallest size—sixteen ounces—and filled the cup with ice to the brim, followed by a little Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, and Orange Fanta.

She glanced back toward the entrance and through the windows. Donaldson was still fussing with the pump. She reached into her pocket and withdrew the syringe. Uncapped the needle, shot a super-size squirt of liquid Oxycontin into the bubbling soda.

At the counter, she chose a pack of Juicy Fruit and pushed the items forward.

The clerk tore herself away from a video Daily Double and rang up the purchase.

“$24.52.”

Lucy looked up from her wallet. “How much of that is gas?”

“Twenty.”

“Shit, I told him just do fifteen. Here.” She put a Jefferson on the filthy counter. “I’ll send him in with the balance, ‘cause this is all I’ve got.”

“Don’t be trying to steal my gas.”

Donaldson was screwing on the gas cap when Lucy walked up. She said, “They still need five bucks. I’m sorry. It came to more than twenty with the drinks and gum. I’m out of cash.”

“No ATM?”

“Here? Lucky they have electricity. I’ll get you next stop.” She flashed a shy grin, sashaying her fingers through the air. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

He just stared at her for a moment, then turned and started toward the store. Lucy opened the front passenger door and traded out Donaldson’s Big Gulp for the fresh drink. She tossed the bucket-size cup into a trashcan between the pumps and climbed in.

Donaldson was at the counter. Lucy glanced into the backseat at the cooler with the biohazard sign. She looked into the convenience store, back at the cooler, then spun quickly around in her seat and reached back toward the lid.

Empty. The inside a dull, stained white. She closed it again.

Donaldson’s footsteps slapped at the pavement. She settled back into her seat as he opened his door. The chassis bounced when he eased his bulk behind the wheel.

“Sorry about that,” Lucy said. “I thought I had another ten. I could swear my snowboarder friend gave me some cash.” She stuck out her lower lip, pouting. “I got you some gum. And a new drink.”

Donaldson frowned, but he took the Juicy Fruit, ran it under his nose.

“Thank you, kindly. Fresh soda too, huh?”

Lucy cracked open the Red Bull and nodded.

“Cheers. To new friends.” She took a sip. A trail of pink liquid dribbled down the corner of her mouth, hugging her chin and neck, dampening her shirt.

Donaldson shifted in his chair and reached for the cup. He sipped on the straw and made a face.

“What flavor is this?”

“I didn’t know what you liked,” Lucy said. “So I got you a little of everything.”

Donaldson chuckled his approval, then turned the key and put the car into gear.

The winding county road ahead was pitch black, like driving through ink. Donaldson sipped his soda. Lucy watched him closely, taking periodic nips at her energy drink. The cool, dry air seemed to crackle with electricity as they climbed into the mountains.

“So is that really a guitar in that case?” Donaldson asked after five miles of silence.

“What do you think?”

“I’ll be honest with you, darlin’. You’re a bit of a mystery to me. I’ve been around, but I’m not sure what to make of you.”

“How so?”

“You’re young. But you’ve heard of Vietnam, I’m guessing.”

“I loved Platoon.”

Donaldson nodded. “Well then, you were practically there in the rice paddies with me, going toe-to-toe with the Cong.”

He drank more soda. Lucy watched.

“Took some shrapnel in my hip in Ca Lu,” Donaldson said. “Nicked my sciatic nerve. Biggest nerve in the body. Pain sometimes gets so bad I can chew through a bath towel. Do you understand pain, little girl?”

“More so than you’d think.”

“So you should know, then, opiates and I are friends from way back.” Donaldson took a big pull off the soda. “So spiking my drink here hasn’t done much more than make me a little horny. Actually a lot horny.” Donaldson turned to Lucy. “You’re about as musical as I am Christian. So you want to tell me what your game is, or do I take you over my knee and spank you right now like the naughty girl you are?”

Lucy said, “It’s Oxycontin. Did they have that back in ‘Nam, gramps? And you being one fat bastard, I squirted two hundred and fifty milligrams into your drink. I’m not some frat boy trying to roofie up a chunky freshman. I gave you the rhino dose.”

She tested the weight of the Styrofoam cup. “Jesus, you’ve already gone through half of it? I’m actually more concerned you’re going to die of a drug overdose instead of the fun I have planned.”

She reached across the seat and squeezed his leg. “Look, you will be losing consciousness shortly, so we don’t have much time. Pull the car over. I’d like to take you up on that spanking.”

Donaldson stared at her, blinked hard twice, and stomped the brake pedal.

Lucy’s seatbelt released and she slammed into the metal-reinforced dashboard. Donaldson shook his head, then swiped the zip tie from his pocket. He grabbed a handful of wool cap and the hair beneath it and yanked Lucy up off the floor. She fought hard, but weight and strength won out and he cinched her hands behind her back.

Donaldson glanced through the windshield, then checked the rearview mirror. Darkness.

Lucy laughed through her shattered nose and ran her tongue along her swollen upper lip and gums—two front teeth MIA.

Donaldson blinked and shook his head again. Pulled off the road onto the shoulder.

“We’re gonna have some fun, little girl,” he said. “And two hundred and fifty milligrams is like candy to me.”

He ran a clumsy paw across her breasts, squeezing hard, then turned his attention to the backseat.

The guitar case had two clasps, one on the body, one on the neck.

Donaldson slapped the left side of his face three times and then opened the case.

A waft of foulness seeped out of the velvet-lined guitar lid, although the contents didn’t seem to be the source—a length of chain. Four pairs of handcuffs. Three carabiners. Vials of liquid Oxycontin. Cutlery shears. A spotlight. A small spray bottle. Two coils of climbing rope. And a snowboarding helmet.

The front passenger door squeaked open and Donaldson spun around as Lucy fell backward out of the car. He lunged into her seat, but she kicked the door. It slammed into his face, his chin crunching his mouth closed, and as the door recoiled, he saw Lucy struggling onto her feet, her wrists still bound behind her back.

She disappeared into the woods.

Donaldson took a moment, fumbling for the door handle. He found it, but paused.

He adjusted the rearview mirror, grinning to see the blood between his teeth.

“Should we let this one go, sport? Or show the little missus that there are things a lot scarier than a guitar case full of bondage shit?”

Donaldson winked at his reflection, yanked out the keys, yanked up the brake, and shoved his door open. He weaved over to the trunk, a stupid grin on his face, got the right key in on the third try.

Among the bottles of bleach solution, the rolls of paper towels, the gas cans, and the baby wipes, Donaldson grabbed the only weapon an upstanding citizen could legally carry without harassment from law enforcement.

The tire iron clenched in his hand, he bellowed at the woods.

“I’m coming for you, Lucy! And there won’t be any drugs to dull yourpain!”

He stumbled into the forest after her, his erection beginning to blossom.

She crouched behind a juniper tree, the zip tie digging into her wrists. Absolute darkness in the woods, nothing to see, but everything to hear.

Donaldson yelled, “Don’t hide from me, little girl! It’ll just make me angry!”

His heavy footsteps crunched in the leaves. Lucy eased down onto her butt and leaned back, legs in the air, then slid her bound wrists up the length of them. Donaldson stumbled past her tree, invisible, less than ten feet away.

“Lucy? Where are you?” His words slurred. “I just wanna talk.”

“I’m over here, big boy! Still waiting for that spanking!”

His footsteps abruptly stopped. Dead quiet for thirty seconds, and then the footsteps started up again, heading in her general direction.

“Oh, no, please,” she moaned. “Don’t hurt me, Donaldson. I’m so afraid you’ll hurt me.”

He was close now, and she turned and started back toward the road, her hands out in front of her to prevent collision with a tree.

A glint of light up ahead—the Honda’s windshield catching a piece of moonlight.

Lucy emerged from the woods, her hands throbbing from circulation loss. She stumbled into the car and turned around to watch the treeline.

“Come on, big boy! I’m right here! You can make it!”

Donaldson staggered out of the woods holding a tire iron, and when the moon struck his eyes, they were already half-closed.

He froze.

He opened his mouth to say something, but fell over instead, dropping like an old, fat tree.

Donaldson opened his eyes and lifted his head. Dawn and freezing cold. He lay in weeds at the edge of the woods, his head resting in a padded helmet. His wrists had been cuffed, hands purple from lack of blood flow, and his ankles were similarly bound. He was naked and glazed with dew, and as the world came into focus, he saw that one of those carabiners from Lucy’s guitar case had been clipped to his ankle cuffs. A climbing rope ran from that carabiner to another carabiner, which was clipped to a chain which was wrapped around the trailer hitch of his Honda.

The driver-side door opened and Lucy got out, walked down through the weeds. She came over and sat on his chest, giving him a missing-toothed smile.

“Morning, Donaldson. You of all people will appreciate what’s about to happen.”

Donaldson yawned, then winked at her. “Aren’t you just the prettiest thing to wake up to?”

Lucy batted her eyelashes.

“Thank you. That’s sweet. Now, the helmet is so you don’t die too fast. Head injuries ruin the fun. We’ll go slow in the beginning. Barely walking speed. Then we’ll speed up a bit when we get you onto asphalt. The last ones screamed for five miles. They where skeletons when I finally pulled over. But you’re so heavy, I think you just might break that record.”

“I have some bleach spray in the trunk,” Donaldson said. “You might want to spritz me with that first, make it hurt even more.”

“I prefer lemon juice, but it’s no good until after the first half mile.”

Donaldson laughed.

“You think this is a joke?”

He shook his head. “No. But when you have the opportunity to kill, you should kill. Not talk.”

Donaldson sat up, quick for a man his size, and rammed his helmet into Lucy’s face. As she reeled back, he caught her shirt with his swollen hands and rolled on top of her, his bulk making her gasp.

“The keys,” he ordered. “Undo my hands, right now.”

Lucy tried to talk, but her lungs were crushed. Donaldson shifted and she gulped in some air.

“In…the…guitar case…”

“That’s a shame. That means you die right here. Personally, I think suffocation is the way to go. All that panic and struggle. Dragging some poor sap behind you? Where’s the fun in that? Hell, you can’t even see it without taking your eyes off the road, and that’s a dangerous way to drive, girl.”

Lucy’s eyes bulged, her face turning scarlet.

“Poc…ket.”

“Take your time. I’ll wait.”

Lucy managed to fish out the handcuff keys. Donaldson shifted again, giving her a fraction more room, and she unlocked a cuff from one of his wrists.

He winced, his face getting mean.

“Now let me tell you about the survival of the fittest, little lady. There’s a…”

The chain suddenly jerked, tugging Donaldson across the ground. He clutched Lucy.

“Where are the car keys, you stupid bitch?”

“In the ignition…”

“You didn’t set the parking brake! Give me the handcuff key!”

The car crept forward, beginning to pick up speed as it rolled quietly down the road.

The skin of Donaldson’s right leg tore against the ground, peeling off, and the girl pounded on him, fighting to get away.

“The key!” he howled, losing his grip on her. He clawed at her waist, her hips, and snagged her foot.

Lucy screamed when the cuff snicked tightly around her ankle.

“No! No no no!” She tried to sit up, to work the key into the lock, but they hit a hole and it bounced from her grasp.

They were dragged off the dirt and onto the road.

Lucy felt the pavement eating through her trench coat, Donaldson in hysterics as it chewed through the fat of his ass, and the car still accelerating down the five-percent grade.

At thirty miles per hour, the fibers of Lucy’s trench coat were sanded away, along with her camouflage panties, and just as she tugged a folding knife out of her pocket and began to hack at her ankle, the rough county road began to grind through her coccyx.

She dropped the knife and they screamed together for two of the longest miles of their wretched lives, until the road curved and the Honda didn’t, and the car and Lucy and Donaldson all punched together through a guardrail and took the fastest route down the mountain.

THE END

A SOUND OF BLUNDER

A Bonus Short Story by J.A. Konrath & F. Paul Wilson

“We’re dead! We’re freakin’ dead!”

Mick Brady, known by the criminal underground of Arkham, Pennsylvania as “Mick the Mick,” held a shaking fist in front of Willie Corrigan’s face. Willie recoiled like a dog accustomed to being kicked.

“I’m sorry, Mick!”

Mick the Mick raised his arm and realized that smacking Willie wasn’t going to help their situation. He smacked him anyway, a punch to the gut that made the larger man double over and grunt like a pig.

“Jesus, Mick! You hit me in my hernia! You know I got a bulge there!”

Mick the Mick grabbed a shock of Willie’s greasy brown hair and jerked back his head so they were staring eye-to-eye.

“What do you think Nate the Nose is going to do to us when he finds out we lost his shit? We’re both going to be eating San Francisco Hot Dogs, Willie.”

Willie’s eyes got wide. Apparently the idea of having his dick cut off, boiled, and fed to him on a bun with a side of fries was several times worse than a whack to the hernia.

“We’ll…we’ll tell him the truth. Maybe he’ll understand.”

“You want to tell the biggest mobster in the state that your Nana used a key of uncut Columbian to make a pound cake?”

“It was an accident,” Willie whined. “She thought it was flour. Hey, is that a spider on the wall? Spiders give me the creeps, Mick. Why do they need eight legs? Other bugs only got six.”

Mick the Mick realized that hitting Willie again wouldn’t help anything. He hit him anyway, a slap across his face that echoed off the concrete floor and walls of Willie’s basement.

“Jesus, Mick! You hit me in my bad tooth! You know I got a cavity there!”

Mick the Mick was considering where he would belt his friend next, even though it wasn’t doing either of them any good, when he heard the basement door open.

“You boys playing nice down there?”

“Yes, Nana,” Willie called up the stairs. He nudged Mick the Mick and whispered, “Tell Nana yes.”

Mick the Mick rolled his eyes, but managed to say, “Yes, Nana.”

“Would you like some pound cake? It didn’t turn out very well for some reason, but Bruno seems to like it.”

Bruno was Willie’s dog, an elderly beagle. He tore down the basement stairs, ran eighteen quick laps around Mick the Mick and Willie, and then barreled, full-speed, face-first into the wall, knocking himself out. Mick the Mick watched as the dog’s tiny chest rose and fell with the speed of a weed wacker.

“No thanks, Nana,” Mick the Mick said.

“It’s on the counter, if you want any. Good night, boys.”

“Night, Nana,” they answered in unison.

Mick the Mick wondered how the hell they could get out of this mess. Maybe there was some way to separate the coke from the cake, using chemicals and stuff. But they wouldn’t be able to do it themselves. That meant telling Nate the Nose, which meant San Francisco Hot Dogs. In his twenty-four years since birth, Mick the Mick had grown very attached to his penis. He’d miss it something awful.

“We could sell the cake,” Willie said.

“You think someone is going to pay sixty thousand bucks for a pound cake?”

“It’s just an idea.”

“It’s a stupid idea, Willie. No junkie is going to snort baked goods. Ain’t gonna happen.”

“So what should we do? I—hey, did you hear if the Phillies won? Phillies got more legs than a spider. And you know what? They catch flies too! That’s a joke, Mick.”

“Shaddup. I need to think.”

Mick the Mick couldn’t think of anything, so he punched Willie again, even though it didn’t solve anything.

“Jesus, Mick! You hit my kidney! You know I got a stone there!”

Mick the Mick walked away, rubbing his temples, willing an idea to come.

“That one really hurt, Mick.”

Mick the Mick shushed him.

“I mean it. I’m gonna be pissing red for a week.”

“Quiet, Willie. Lemme think.”

“It looks like cherry Kool-Aid. And it burns, Mick. Burns like fire.”

Mick the Mick snapped his fingers. Fire.

“That’s it, Willie. Fire. Your house is insured, right?”

“I guess so. Hey, do you think there’s any pizza left? I like pepperoni. That’s a fun word to say. Pepperoni. It rhymes with lonely. You think pepperoni gets lonely, Mick?”

To help Willie focus, Mick the Mick kicked him in his bum leg, even though it really didn’t help him focus much.

“Jesus, Mick! You know I got gout!”

“Pay attention, Willie. We burn down the house, collect the insurance, and pay off Nate the Nose.”

Willie rubbed his shin, wincing.

“But where’s Nana supposed to live, Mick?”

“I hear the Miskatonic Nursing Home is a lot nicer, now that they arrested the guy who was making all the old people wear dog collars.”

“I can’t put Nana in a nursing home, Mick!”

“Would you rather be munching on your vein sausage? Nate the Nose makes you eat the whole thing, or else you also get served a side of meatballs.”

Willie folded his arms. “I won’t do it. And I won’t let you do it.”

Mick the Mick took aim and punched Willie in his bad knee, where he had the metal pins, even though it did nothing to fix their problem.

“Jesus, Mick! You hit me in the…”

“Woof!”

Bruno the beagle sprang to his feet, ran sixteen laps around the men, then tore up the stairs.

“Bruno!” they heard Nana chide. “Get off the counter! You’ve had enough pound cake!”

Mick the Mick put his face in his hands, very close to tears. The last time he cried was ten years ago, when Nate the Nose ordered him to break his mother’s thumbs because she was late with a loan payment. When he tried, Mom had stabbed Mick the Mick with a meat thermometer. That hurt, but not as much as a wiener-ectomy would.

“Maybe we can leave town,” Willie said, putting a hand on Mick the Mick’s shoulder.

That left Willie’s kidney exposed. Mick the Mick took advantage, even though it didn’t help their situation.

Willie fell to his knees. Bruno the beagle tore down the stairs, straddled Willie’s calf, and began to hump so fast his little doggie hips were a blur.

Mick the Mick began searching the basement for something flammable. As it often happened in life, arson was really the only way out. He found a can of paint thinner on a dusty metal shelf and worked the top with his thumbnail.

“Mick, no!”

Mick couldn’t get it open. He tried his teeth.

“You can’t burn my house down, Mick! All my stuff is here! Like my comics! We used to collect comics when we were kids, Mick! Don’t you remember?”

Willie reached for a box, dug out a torn copy of Amazing Spiderman #146, and traced his finger up and down Scorpion’s tail in a way that made Mick the Mick uncomfortable. So he reached out and slapped Willie’s bad tooth. Willie dropped the comic and curled up fetal, and Bruno the beagle abandoned the calf for the loftier possibilities of Willie’s head.

Mick managed to pop the top on the can, and he began to sprinkle mineral spirits on some bags labeled Precious Photos & Memories.

Willie moaned something unintelligible through closed lips—he was probably afraid to open his mouth until he disengaged Bruno the beagle.

“Mmphp-muummph-mooeoemmum!”

“We don’t have a choice, Willie. The only way out of this is fire. Beautiful, cleansing fire. If there’s money left over, we’ll bribe the orderlies so Nana doesn’t get abused. At least not as much as the others.”

“Mick!” Willie cried. It came out “Mibb!” because Bruno the beagle had taken advantage. Willie gagged, shoving the dog away. Bruno the beagle ran around Willie seven times then flew up the stairs.

“Bruno!” they heard Nana chide. “Naughty dog! Not when we have company over!”

Willie hacked and spit, then sat up.

“A heist, Mick. We could do a heist.”

“No way,” Mick the Mick said. “Remember what happened to Jimmy the Spleen? Tried to knock over a WaMu in Pittsburgh. Cops shot his ass off. His whole ass. You want one of them creepy poop bags hanging on your belt?”

Willie wiped a sleeve across his tongue. “Not a bank, Mick. The Arkham Museum.”

“The museum?”

“They got all kinds of expensive old stuff. And it ain’t guarded at night. I bet we could break in there, get away with all sorts of pricey antiques. I think they got like a T-rex skull. That could be worth a million bucks. If I had a million bucks, I’d buy some scuba gear, so I could go deep diving on shipwrecks and try to find some treasure so I could be rich.”

Mick the Mick rolled his eyes.

“You think Tommy the Fence is going to buy a T-rex skull? How we even gonna get it out of there, Willie? You gonna put it in your pocket?”

“They got other stuff too, Mick. Maybe gold and gems and stamps.”

“I got a stamp for you.”

“Jesus, Mick! My toe! You know I got that infected ingrown!”

Mick the Mick was ready to offer seconds, but he stopped mid-stomp.

“You ever been to the Museum, Willie?”

“Course not. You?”

“Nah.”

But maybe it wasn’t a totally suck-awful idea.

“What about the alarms?”

“We can get past those, Mick. No problem. Hey, you think I need a haircut? If I look up, I can see my bangs.”

Willie did just that. Mick the Mick stared at the cardboard boxes, soaked with paint thinner. He wanted to light them up, watch them burn. But insurance took forever. There were investigations, forms to fill out, waiting periods.

But if they went to the museum and pinched something small and expensive, chances are they could turn it around in a day or two. The faster they could pay off Nate the Nose, the safer Little Mick and the Twins were.

“Okay, Willie. We’ll give it a try. But if it don’t work, we torch Nana’s house. Agreed?”

“Agreed.”

Mick the Mick extended his hand. Willie reached for it, leaving his hernia bulge unprotected. Now that they had a plan, it served absolutely no purpose to hit Willie again.

He hit him anyway.

“I don’t like it in here, Mick.” Willie said as they entered the great central hall of the Arkham Pennsylvania Museum of Natural History and Baseball Cards.

Mick the Mick gave him a look, which was pretty useless since Willie couldn’t see his face and he couldn’t see Willie’s. The only things they could see were whatever lay at the end of their flashlight beams.

Getting in had been a walk. Literally. The front doors were unlocked. And no alarm. Really weird. Unless the museum had stopped locking up because nobody ever came here. Mick the Mick had lived in Arkham all his life and never met anyone who’d ever come here except on a class trip. Made a kind of sense then to not bother with locks. Nobody came during the day when the lights were on, so why would anyone want to come when the lights were out?

Which made Mick the Mick a little nervous about finding anything valuable.

“It’s just a bunch of rooms filled with loads of old crap.”

Willie’s voice shook. “Old stuff scares me. Especially this old stuff.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause it’s old and—hey, can we stop at Burger Pile on the way home?”

“Focus, Willie. You gotta focus.”

“I like picking off the sesame seeds and making them fight wars.”

Mick the Mick took a swing at him and missed in the dark.

Suddenly the lights went on. They were caught. Mick the Mick feared prison almost as much as he feared Nate the Nose. He was small for his size, and unfortunately blessed with perfectly-shaped buttocks. The cons would trade him around like cigarettes.

Mick the Mick ducked into a crouch, ready to run for the nearest exit. He saw Willie standing by a big arched doorway with his hand on a light switch.

“There,” Willie said, grinning. “That’s better.”

Mick wanted to punch his hernia again but he was too far away.

“Put those out!”

Willie stepped away from the wall toward one of the displays. “Hey, look at this.”

Mick the Mick realized the damage had been done. Sooner or later someone would come to investigate. Okay, maybe not, but they couldn’t risk it. They’d have to move fast.

He looked up and saw a banner proclaiming the name of the exhibit: Elder Gods and Lost Races of South Central Pennsylvania.

“What’s this?” Willie said, leaning over a display case.

Suddenly a deep voice boomed: “WELCOME!”

Willie cried, “Whoa!” and Mick the Mick jumped—high enough so as if he’d been holding a basketball he could have made his first dunk.

Soon as he recovered, he did a thorough three-sixty but saw no one else but Willie.

“What you see before you,” the voice continued, “is a rare artifact that once belonged to an ancient lost race that dwelled in the Arkham area during prehistoric times. This, like every other ancient artifact in this room, was excavated from a site near the Arkham landfill.”

After recovering from another near dunk, plus a tiny bit of pee-pee, Mick noticed a speaker attached to the underside of the case.

Ah-ha. A recording triggered by a motion detector. But the sound was a little garbled, reminding him of the voice of the aliens in an old black-and-white movie he and Willie had watched on TV last week. The voice always began, “People of Earth …” but he couldn’t remember the name of the film.

“We know little about this ancient lost race but, after careful examination by the eminent archeologists and anthropologists here at the Arkham Pennsylvania Museum of Natural History and Baseball Cards, they arrived at an irrefutable conclusion.”

“Hey, Willie said, grinning. “Sounds like the alien voice from Earth versus the Flying Saucers.”

“The artifact before you once belonged to an ancient shaman.”

“What’s a shaman, Mick?”

Mick the Mick remembered seeing something about that on TV once. “I think he’s a kind of a witch doctor. But forget about—”

“A shaman, for those of you who don’t know, is something of a tribal wise man, what the less sophisticated among you might call a ‘witch doctor.’ “

“Witch doctor? Cooool.”

Mick the Mick stepped over to see what the voice was talking about. Under the glass he saw a three-foot metal staff with a small globe at each end.

“The eminent archeologists and anthropologists here at the Arkham Pennsylvania Museum of Natural History and Baseball Cards have further determined that the object is none other an ancient shaman’s scepter of power.”

Willie looked a Mick the Mick with wide eyes. “Did you hear that? A scepter of power! Is that like He-Man’s Power Sword? He-Man was really strong, but he had hair like a girl. Is the scepter of power like a power sword, Mick?”

“No, it’s more like a magic wand, but forget—”

“The less sophisticated among you might refer to a scepter of power as a ‘magic wand,’ and in a sense it functioned as such.”

“A magic wand! Like in the Harry Potter movies? I love those movies, and I’ve always wanted a magic wand! Plus I get crazy hot thoughts about Hermoine. She’s a real fox. Kinda like Drew Barrymore. In E.T. Hey, why does the wand have a deep groove in it?”

Mick the Mick looked again and noticed the deep groove running its length.

“Note, please, the deep groove running the length of the scepter of power. The eminent archeologists and anthropologists here at the Arkham Pennsylvania Museum of Natural History and Baseball Cards believe that to be what is knows as a fuller…

A fuller? Mick thought. Looks like a blood channel.

“…which the less sophisticated among you might call a ‘blood channel.’ The eminent archeologists and anthropologists here at the Arkham Pennsylvania Museum of Natural History and Baseball Cards believe this ancient scepter of power might have been used by its shaman owner to perform sacred religious ceremonies—specifically, the crushing of skulls and ritual disemboweling.”

Mick the Mick got a chill. He hoped Nate the Nose never got his hands on something like this.

“What’s disemboweling, Mick?”

“When someone cuts out your intestines.”

“How do you dooky, then? Like squeezing a toothpaste tube?”

“You don’t dooky, Willie. You die.”

“Cool! Can I have the magic wand, Mick? Can I?”

Mick the Mick didn’t answer. He’d noticed something engraved near the end of the far tip. He leaned closer, squinting until it came into focus.

Sears.

What the—?

He stepped back for a another look at the scepter of power and—

“A curtain rod …it’s a freakin’ curtain rod!”

Willie looked at him like he was crazy. “Curtain rod? Didn’t you hear the man? It’s, like, a magic wand, and—hey, what’s that over there?”

Mick the Mick slapped at Willie’s kidney as he passed but missed because he couldn’t take his eyes off the Sears scepter of power. Maybe they could steal it, return it to Sears, and get a brand new one. That wouldn’t help much with Nate the Nose, but Mick the Mick did need a new curtain rod. His old one had broken, and his drapes were attached to the wall with forks. That made Thursdays—spaghetti night—particularly messy.

“WELCOME!” boomed the same voice as Willie stopped before another display. “What you see before you is a rare artifact that once belonged to an ancient lost race that dwelled in the Arkham area during prehistoric times. This, like every other ancient artifact in this room, was excavated from a site near the Arkham landfill.”

“Hey, Mick y’gotta see this.”

After some biblical thinking, Mick the Mick spared the rod and moved along.

“We know little about this ancient lost race but, after careful examination by the eminent archeologists and anthropologists here at the Arkham Pennsylvania Museum of Natural History and Baseball Cards, they arrived at an irrefutable conclusion: The artifact before you was used by an ancient shaman of this lost race to perform surrogate sacrifices. (For those of you unfamiliar with the term ‘shaman,’ please return to the previous display.)”

“I know what a shaman is, ‘cause you just told me,” Willie said. “But what’s a surrogate—?”

“A surrogate sacrifice was an image that was sacrificed instead of a real person. Before you is a statuette of a woman carved by the ancient lost race from a yet-to-be-identified flesh-colored substance. Note the head is missing. This is because the statuette was beheaded instead of the human it represented.”

Mick the Mick stepped up to the display and immediately recognized the naked pink figure. He’d used to swipe his sister Suzy’s and make it straddle his rocket and go for a ride. Only Suzy’s had a blonde head.

“That’s a freakin’ Barbie doll!” He grabbed Willie’s shoulder and yanked him away.

“Jesus, Mick! You know I got a dislocating shoulder!”

Willie stumbled, knocking Mick the Mick into another display case, which toppled over with a crash.

“WELCOME! What you see before you is a rare tome of lost wisdom that once belonged—”

Screaming, Mick the Mick kicked the speaker until the voice stopped.

“Look, Mick,” Willie said, squatting and poking through the broken glass, “it’s not a tome, it’s a book. It’s supposed to contain lost wisdom. Maybe it can tell us how to keep Nate the Nose off our backs.” He rose and squinted at the cover. “The Really, Really, Really Old Ones.”

“It’s a paperback, you moron. How much wisdom you gonna find in there?”

“Yeah, you’re right. It says, ‘Do Not Try This at Home. Use Only Under Expert Supervision or You’ll Be Really, Really, Really Sorry.’ Better not mess with that.”

“Oh, yeah?” Mick the Mick had had it—really had it. Up. To. Here. He opened to a random page and read. “‘Random Dislocation Spell.’ “

Willie winced. “Not my shoulder!”

“ ‘Use only under expert supervision.’ Yeah, right. Look, it’s got a bunch of gobbledygook to read.”

“You mean like ‘Mekka-lekka hi—?”

“Shaddap and I’ll show you what bullshit this is.”

Mick the Mick started reading, pronouncing the gobbledygook as best he could, going slow and easy so he didn’t screw up the words like he normally did when he read.

When he finished he looked at Willie and grinned. “See? No random dislocation.”

Willie rolled his shoulder. “Yeah. Feels pretty good. I wonder—”

The smell hit Mick the Mick first, hot and overpowering, reminding him of that time he stuck his head in the toilet because his older brother told him that’s where brownies came from. It was followed by the very real sensation of being squeezed. But not squeezed by a person. Squeezed all over by some sort of full-body force like being pushed through a too-small opening. The air suddenly became squishy and solid and pressed into every crack and pore on Mick the Mick’s body, and then it undulated, moving him, pushing him, through the solid marble floor of the Arkham Pennsylvania Museum of Natural History and Baseball Cards.

The very fabric of reality, or something like that, seemed to vibrate with a deep resonance, and the timbre rose to become an overpowering, guttural groan. The floor began to dissolve, or maybe he began to dissolve, and then came a horrible yet compelling farting sound and Mick the Mick was suddenly plopped into the middle of a jungle.

Willie landed next to him.

“I feel like shit,” Willie said.

Mick the Mick squinted in the sunlight and looked around. They were surrounded by strange, tropical trees and weird looking flowers with big fat pink petals that made him feel sort of horny. A dragonfly the size of a bratwurst hovered over their heads, gave them a passing glance, then buzzed over to one of the pink flowers, which snapped open and bit the bug in half.

“Where are we, Mick?”

Mick the Mick scratched his head. “I’m not sure. But I think when I read that book I opened a portal in the space-time continuum and we were squeezed through one of the eleven imploded dimensions into the late Cretaceous Period.”

“Wow. That sucks.”

“No, Willie. It doesn’t suck at all.”

“Yeah it does. The season finale of MacGyver: The Next Generation is on tonight. It’s a really cool episode where he builds a time machine out of some pocket lint and a broken meat thermometer. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a time machine, Mick?”

Mick the Mick slapped Willie on the side of his head.

“Jesus, Mick! You know I got swimmer’s ear!”

“Don’t you get it, Willie? This book is a time machine. We can go back in time!”

Willie got wide-eyed. “I get it! We can get back to the present a few minutes early so I won’t miss MacGyver!”

Mick the Mick considered hitting him again, but his hand was getting sore.

“Think bigger than MacGyver, Willie. We’re going to be rich. Rich and famous and powerful. Once I figure out how this book works we’ll be able to go to any point in history.”

“You mean like we go back to summer camp in nineteen seventy-five? Then we could steal the candy from those counselors so they couldn’t lure us into the woods and touch us in the bad place.”

“Even better, Willie. We can bet on sports and always win. Like that movie.”

“Which one?”

“The one where he went to the past and bet on sports so he could always win.”

“The Godfather?”

“No, Willie. The Godfather was the one with the fat guy who slept with horse heads.”

“Oh yeah. Hey Mick, don’t you think those big pink flowers look like…

“Shut your stupid hole, Willie. I gotta think.”

Mick the Mick racked his brain, but he was never into sports, and he couldn’t think of a single team that won anything. Plus, he didn’t have any money on him. It would take a long time to parlay the eighty-one cents in his pocket into sixty grand. But there had to be other ways to make money with a time machine. Probably.

He glanced at Willie, who was walking toward one of those pink flowers, leaning in to sniff it. Or perhaps do something else with it, because Willie’s tongue was out.

“Willie! Get away from that thing and try to focus! We need to figure out how to make some money.”

“It smells like fish, Mick.”

“Dammit, Willie! Did you take your medicine this morning like you’re supposed to?”

“I can’t remember. Nana says I need a stronger subscription. But every time I go to the doctor to get one I get distracted and forget to ask.”

Mick the Mick scratched himself. Another dragonfly—this one shaped like a banana wearing a turtleneck—flew up to one of those pink flowers and was bitten in half too. Damn, those bugs were stupid. They just didn’t learn.

Mick the Mick scratched himself again, wondering if the crabs were back. If they were, it made him really angry. When you paid fifty bucks for a massage at Madame Yoko’s, the happy ending should be crab-free.

Willie said, “Maybe we can go back to the time when Nate the Nose was a little boy, and then we could be real nice to him so when he grew up he would remember us and wouldn’t make us eat our junk.”

Or we could push his stroller into traffic, Mick the Mick thought.

But Nate the Nose had bosses, and they probably had bosses too, and traveling through time to push a bunch of babies in front of moving cars seemed like a lot of work.

“Money, Willie. We need to make money.”

“We could buy old stuff in the past then sell it on eBay. Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to have four hands? I mean, you could touch twice as much stuff.”

Mick the Mick thought about those old comics in Willie’s basement, and then he grinned wider than a zebra’s ass.

“Like Action Comics #1, which had the first appearance of Superman!” Mick the Mick said. “I could buy it with the change in my pocket, and we can sell it for a fortune!”

Come to think of it, he could buy eight copies. Didn’t they go for a million a piece these days?

“I wish I could fly, Mick. Could we go back into time and learn to fly like Superman? Then we could have flown away from those camp counselors before they stuck their…”

“Shh!” Mick the Mick tilted his head to the side, listening to the jungle. “You hear something, Willie?”

“Yeah, Mick. I hear you talkin’ to me. Now I hear me talkin’. Now I’m singing a sooooong, a haaaaaaaaappy soooooong.”

Mick the Mick gave Willie a smack in the teeth, then locked his eyes on the treeline. In the distance the canopy rustled and parted, like something really big was walking toward them. Something so big the ground shook with every step.

“You hear that, Mick? Sounds like something really big is coming.”

A deafening roar from the thing in the trees, so horrible Mick the Mick could feel his curlies straighten.

“Think it’s friendly?” Willie asked.

Mick the Mick stared down at his hands, which still held the Really, Really, Really Old Ones book. He flipped it open to a random page, forcing himself to concentrate on the words. But, as often happened in stressful situation, or even situations not all that stressful, the words seemed to twist and mash up and go backward and upside-down. Goddamn lesdyxia—shit—dyslexia.

“Maybe we should run, Mick.”

“Yeah, maybe…wait! No! We can’t run!”

“Why can’t we run, Mick?”

“Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer went back in time and stepped on a butterfly and then Bart cut off his head with some hedge clippers?”

“That’s two different episodes, Mick. They’re both Treehouse of Horror episodes, but from different years.”

“Look, Willie, the point is, evolution is a really fickle bitch. If we screw up something in the past it can really mess up the future.”

“That sucks. You mean we would get back to our real time but instead of being made of skin and bones we’re made entirely out of fruit? Like some kind of juicy fruit people?”

Another growl, even closer. It sounded like a lion’s roar—if the lion had balls the size of Chryslers.

“I mean really bad stuff, Willie. I gotta read another passage and get us out of here.”

The trees parted, and a shadow began to force itself into view.

“Hey, Mick, if you were made of fruit, would you take a bite of your own arm if you were really super hungry? I think I would. I wonder what I’d taste like?”

Mick the Mick tried to concentrate on reading the page, but his gaze kept flicking up to the trees. The prehistoric landscape lapsed into deadly silence. Then, like some giant monster coming out of the jungle, a giant monster came out of the jungle.

The head appeared first, the size of a sofa—a really big sofa—with teeth the size of daggers crammed into a mouth large enough to tear a refrigerator in half.

“I think I’d take a few bites out of my leg or something, but I’d be afraid because I don’t know if I could stop. Especially if I tasted like strawberries, because I love strawberries, Mick. Why are they called strawberries when they don’t taste like straw? Hey, is that a T-Rex?”

Now Mick the Mick pee-peed more than just a little. The creature before them was a deep green color, blending seamlessly into the undergrowth. Rather than scales, it was adorned with small, prickly hairs that Mick the Mick realized were thin brown feathers. Its huge nostrils flared and it snorted, causing the book’s pages to ripple.

“I really think we should run, Mick.”

Mick the Mick agreed. The Tyrannosaur stepped into the clearing on massive legs and reared up to its full height, over forty feet tall. Mick the Mick knew he couldn’t outrun it. But he didn’t have to. He only had to outrun Willie. He felt bad, but he had no other choice. He had to trick his best friend if he wanted to survive.

“The T-Rex has really bad vision, Willie. If you stay very still, it won’t be able to—-Willie, come back!”

Willie had broken for the trees, moving so fast he was a blur. Mick the Mick tore after him, swatting dragonflies out of the way as he ran. Underfoot he trampled on a large brown roach, a three-toed lizard with big dewy eyes and a disproportionately large brain, and a small furry mammal with a face that looked a lot like Sal from Manny’s Meats on 23rd street, which gave a disturbingly human-like cry when its little neck snapped.

Behind them, the T-Rex moved with the speed of a giant two-legged cat shaped like a dinosaur, snapping teeth so close to Mick the Mick that they nipped the eighteen trailing hairs of his comb-over. He chanced a look over his shoulder and saw the mouth of the animal open so wide that Mick the Mick could set up a table for four on the creature’s tongue and play Texas Hold ’em, not that he would, because that would be fucking stupid.

Then, just as the death jaws of death were ready to close on Mick the Mick and cause terminal death, the T-Rex skidded to a halt and craned its neck skyward, peering up through the trees.

Mick the Mick continued to sprint, stepping on a family of small furry rodents who looked a lot like the Capporellis up in 5B—so much so that he swore one even said “Fronzo!” when he broke its little furry spine—and then he smacked smack into Willie, who was standing still and staring up.

“Willie! What the hell are you doing? We gotta move!”

“Why, Mick? We’re not being chased anymore.”

Mick looked back and noticed that, indeed, the thunder lizard had abandoned its pursuit, focusing instead on the sky.

“I think it’s looking at the asteroid,” Willie said.

Mick the Mick shot a look upward and stared at the very large flaming object that seemed to take up a quarter of the sky.

“I don’t think it was there a minute ago,” Willie said. “I don’t pay good attention but I think I woulda noticed it, don’t you think?”

“This ain’t good. This ain’t no good at all.”

“Look how big it’s getting, Mick! We should hide behind some trees or something.”

“We gotta get out of here, Willie.” Mick the Mick said, his voice high-pitched and uncomfortably girlish.

“Feel that wind, Mick? It’s hot. I bet that thing is going a hundred miles an hour. Do you feel it?”

“I feel it! I feel it!”

“Do you smell fish, Mick? Hey, look! Those pink flowers that look like—”

Willie screamed. Mick the Mick glanced over and saw his lifelong friend was playing tug of war with one of those toothy prehistoric plants, using a long red rope.

No. Not a red rope. Those were Willie’s intestines.

“Help me, Mick!”

Without thinking, Mick the Mick reached out a hand and grabbed Willie’s duodenum. He squeezed, tight as he could, and Willie farted.

“It hurts, Mick! Being disemboweled hurts!”

A bone-shaking roar, from behind them. The T-Rex had lost interest in the asteroid and was sniffing at the newly spilled blood, his sofa-sized head only a few meters away and getting closer. Mick the Mick could smell its breath, reeking of rotten meat and bad oral hygiene and dooky.

No, the dooky was coming from Willie. Pouring out like brown shaving cream.

Mick the Mick released his friend’s innards and wiped his hand on Willie’s shirt. The pink flower made a pbbbthh sound and did the same, without the wiping the hand part.

“I gotta put this stuff back in.” Willie began scooping up guts and twigs and rocks and shoving them into the gaping hole in his belly.

Mick the Mick figured Willie was in shock, or perhaps even stupider than he’d originally surmised. He considered warning Willie about the infection he’d get from filling himself with dirt, but there were other, more pressing, matters at hand.

The asteroid now took up most of the horizon, and the heat from it turned the sweat on Mick the Mick’s body into steam. They needed to get out of here, and fast. If only there was someplace to hide.

Something scurried over Mick the Mick’s foot and he flinched, stomping down. Crushed under his heel was something that looked like a beaver. The animal kind. Another proto-beaver beelined around its dead companion, heading through the underbrush into…

“It’s a hole, Willie! I think it’s a cave!”

Mick the Mick pushed aside a large fern branch and squatted down. The hole led to a diagonalish path, dark and rocky, deep down into the earth.

“It’s a hole, Willie! I think it’s a cave!”

“You said that, Mick!”

“That’s an echo, Willie! Hole must go down deep.”

Mick the Mick watched as two more lizards, a giant mosquito, and more beaver things poured into the cave, escaping the certain extinction the asteroid promised.

“That’s an echo, Willie! Hole must go down deep.”

“You’re repeating yourself, Mick!”

“I’m not repeating myself!” Mick yelled.

“Yes you are!”

“No I’m not!”

“I’m not repeating myself!”

“Yes you are!”

“No I’m not!”

“You just did!”

“I’m not, Willie!”

“I’m hurt bad, Mick!”

“I’m not, Willie!”

“I said I’m hurt, Mick! Not you!”

Mick the Mick decided not to pursue this line of conversation anymore. Instead, he focused on moving the big outcropping of rock partially obscuring the cave’s entrance. If he could budge it just a foot or two, he could fit into the cave and maybe save himself.

Mick the Mick put his shoulder to the boulder, grunting with effort. Slowly, antagonizingly slowly, it began to move.

“You got your cell phone, Mick? You should maybe call 911 for me. Tell them to bring some stitches.”

Just a little more. A little bit more…

“I think my stomach just fell out. What’s a stomach look like, Mick? This looks like a kidney bean.”

Finally, the rock broke away from the base with a satisfying crack. But rather than rolling to the side, it teetered, and then dropped down over the hole, sealing it like a manhole cover.

Mick the Mick began to cry.

“Do kidneys look like kidney beans, Mick?” Willie made a smacking sound. “Doesn’t taste like beans. Or kidneys. Hey, the T-Rex is back. He doesn’t look distracted no more. You think he took is medication?”

The T-Rex opened its mouth and reared up over Mick the Mick’s head, blotting out the sky. All Mick the Mick could see was teeth and tongue and that big dangly thing that hangs in the back of the throat like a punching bag.

“Read to him, Mick. When Nana reads to me, I go to sleep.”

The book. They needed to escape this time period. Maybe go into the future, to before Nana baked the cake so they could stop her.

Mick the Mick lifted the Really, Really, Really Old Ones and squinted at it. His hands shook, and his vision swam, and all the vowels on the page looked exactly the same and the consonants looked like pretzel sticks and the hair still left on his comb-over was starting to singe and the T-Rex’s jaws began to close and another one of those pink flowers leaned in took a big bite out of Little Mick and the Twins but he managed to sputter out:

“OTKIN ADARAB UTAALK!”

Another near-turd experience and then they were excreted into a room with a television and a couch and a picture window. But the television screen was embedded—or growing out of?—a toadstoollike thing that was in turn growing out of the floor. The couch looked funny, like who’d sit on that? And the picture window looked out on some kind of nightmare jungle.

And then again, maybe not so weird.

No, Mick the Mick thought. Weird. Very weird.

He looked at Willie.

And screamed.

Or at least tried to. What came out was more like a croak.

Because it wasn’t Willie. Not unless Willie had grown four extra eyes—two of them on stalks—and sprouted a fringe of tentacles around where he used to have a neck and shoulders. He now looked like a conical turkey croquette that had been rolled in seasoned breadcrumbs before baking and garnished with live worms after.

The thing made noises that sounded like, “Mick, is that you?” but spoken by a turkey croquette with a mouth full of linguini.

Stranger still, it sounded a little like Willie. Mick the Mick raised a tentacle to scratch his—

Whoa! Tentacle?

Well, of course a tentacle. What did he expect?

He looked down and was surprised to see that he was encased in a breadcrumbed, worm-garnished turkey croquette. No, wait, he was a turkey croquette.

Why did everything seem wrong, and yet simultaneously at the same time seem not wrong too?

Just then another six-eyed, tentacle-fringed croquette glided into the room. The Willie-sounding croquette said, “Hi, Nana.” His words were much clearer now.

Nana? Was this Willie’s Nana?

Of course it was. Mick the Mick had known her for years.

“There’s an unpleasant man at the door who wants to talk to you. Or else.”

“Or else what?”

A new voice said, “Or else you two get to eat cloacal casseroles, and guess who donates the cloacas?”

Mick the Mick unconsciously crossed his tentacles over his cloaca. In his twenty-four years since budding, Mick the Mick had grown very attached to his cloaca. He’d miss it something awful.

A fourth croquette had entered, followed by the two biggest croquettes Mick the Mick had ever seen. Only these weren’t turkey croquettes, these were chipped-beef croquettes. This was serious.

The new guy sounded like Nate the Nose, but didn’t have a nose. And what was a nose anyway?

“Oh, no,” Willie moaned. “I don’t want to eat Mick’s cloaca.”

“I meant your own, jerk!” the newcomer barked.

“But I have a hernia—”

“Shaddap!”

Mick the Mick recognized him now: Nate the Noodge, pimp, loan shark, and drug dealer. Not the sort you leant your bike to.

Wait …what was a bike?

“What’s up, Nate?”

“That brick of product I gave you for delivery. I had this sudden, I dunno, bad feeling about it. A frisson of malaise and apprehension, you might say. I just hadda come by and check on it, knome sayn?”

The brick? What brick?

Mick the Mick had a moment of panic—he had no idea what Nate the Noodge was talking about.

Oh, yeah. The product. Now he remembered.

“Sure Nate, it’s right in here.”

He led Nate to the kitchen where the brick of product lay on the big center table.

Nate the Noodge pointed a tentacle at it. One of his guards lifted it, sniffed it, then wriggled his tentacle fringe that it was okay. Mick the Mick had expected him to nod but a nod would require a neck, and the guard didn’t have a neck. Then Mick the Mick realized he didn’t know what a neck was. Or a nod, for that matter.

What was it with these weird thoughts, like memories, going through his head? They were like half-remembered dreams. Nightmares, more likely. Pink flowers, and giant lizards, and big rocks in the sky, and stepping on some mice that looked like a lot like the Capporellis up in 5B. Except the Capporellis lived in 4B, and looked like jellyfish. What were mice anyway? He looked at Willie to see if he was just as confused.

Willie was playing with his cloaca.

Nate the Noodge turned to them and said, “A’ight. Looks like my frisson of malaise and apprehension was fer naught. Yer cloacas is safe …fer now. But you don’t deliver that product like you’re apposed to and it’s casserole city, knome sayn?”

“We’ll deliver it, Nate,” Willie said. “Don’t you worry. We’ll deliver it.”

“Y’better,” Nate said, then left with his posse

“Where we supposed to deliver it?” Willie said when they were alone again.

Mick the Mick kicked him in his cloaca.

“The same place we always deliver it.”

“Ow!” Willie was saying, rubbing his cloaca. “That hurt. You know I got a—hey, look!” He was pointing to the TV. “The Toad Whisperer is on! My favorite show!”

He settled onto the floor and stared.

Mick the Mick hated to admit it, but he was kind of addicted to the show himself. He settled next to Willie.

Faintly, from the kitchen, he heard Nana say, “Oh dear, I was going to bake a cake but I’m out of flour. Could one of you boys—oh, wait. Here’s some. Never mind.”

A warning glimp chugged in Mick the Mick’s brain and puckered his cloaca. Something bad was about to happen …

What had Nate the Noodge called it? “A frisson of malaise and apprehension.” Sounded like a dessert, but Mick the Mick had gathered it meant a worried feeling like what he was having right now.

But about what? What could go sour? The product was safe, and they were watching The Toad Whisperer. As soon as that was over, they’d go deliver it, get paid, and head on over to Madam Yoko’s for a happy ending endoplasmic reticulum massage. And maybe a cloac-job.

The frisson of malaise and apprehension faded. Must have been another nightmare flashback.

Soon the aroma of baking cake filled the house. Right after the show he’d snag himself a piece.

Yes, life was good.

THE END

DRACULAS Deleted and Alternate Scenes

During the writing of Draculas we wrote a few scenes that we ended up changing or omitting. We thought it would be fun, for people who liked the book, to see what ended up on the cutting room floor, and hear why.

Alternate Shanna Shooting Scene

Joe says: In our very first email volleys, Paul had intended Shanna to embrace Clay’s gun-loving ways, and wrote this to be the scene where she becomes enamored with them. I liked it and thought it was realistic—lots of people, when they shoot for the first time, instantly fall in love with firearms. Paul thought it was too over-the-top and changed it to her having a negative reaction.

Shanna

SHE stared down at the dead creature. “That fella” wasn’t a fella. It was wearing a bloodstained maroon pantsuit. She stepped closer and saw the nametag: Marge McGuire.

Shanna felt sick. “That’s Marge from admitting! I had a long sit-down with her when Mortimer was admitted for that possible overdose. She had pictures of her kids on her desk. She…” A sob broke free. “What have I done?”

“It was her or you, Shanna.”

“I killed Marge!”

Clay knelt beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “That wasn’t Marge from admissions anymore. Marge was already gone. You killed something else, something that had taken her over.”

“But her kids—”

“Had already lost their mama. You just kept this thing from fouling her memory by killing you and who knows how many others, and turning them into foul things like her. You did Marge a favor.”

Clay seemed to understand and was making sense, neither of which she’d expected from him. He helped her to her feet.

“Us or them,” Shanna he added. “Who do you want to walk out of here?”

“Us, of course.”

“And who are the attackers here?”

“Them.”

“So we’re going to walk out of here, and along the way we’re going to leave them alone. But if they try to kill us, we need to do what we have to do to protect ourselves—and that means kill them first.”

Yeah…they did.

She looked at the thing that had been Marge. If she hadn’t fired this big heavy thing in her hands, she’d be dead on the floor. And worse—soon she’d be one of them.

He pointed to the Taurus. “I’m sorry it knocked you down.”

“It’s okay, Clay.”

“No, it’s not. That gun’s too powerful for you.” He reached for it. “I’ll find you—”

She snatched her Taurus away and clutched it between her breasts. Yes, suddenly it was her Taurus Raging Bull. She loved it. She thought of that bumper sticker she’d always laughed at: You can have my gun when you take it from my cold dead hands. Or something like that.

“You touch my gun and I’ll kick you in the fucking balls.”

Clay looked flummoxed. “Shanna, you said ‘fucking.’ And ‘balls.’“

“Damn right, I did. For the first time since that first monster broke in here, I feel we’ve got a chance to get out alive, and I’m not giving that up.”

And then the lights went out.

Alternate Stacie Death Scene

Joe says: This deletion is my fault. Blake wrote this lovely scene, but unbeknownst to him, I’d written practically the exact same Psalm 23 scene in another one of my books, with an author I collaborated with. I explained it to Blake, and when he read the scene I’d mentioned, he was shocked at how similar they were. This isn’t the first time Blake and I have written similar scenes independently of each other. It’s eerie, really. Blake was kind enough to switch it with the other scene, which I believe was also lovely.

Stacie

IT was like someone dimming the lights from inside her head.

No pain, but so dizzy.

She could still sense her daughter lying asleep in the crook of her arm, though she couldn’t feel a thing.

There was noise all around her, but Adam—sweet, wonderful Adam—his voice cut through, lips pressed against her ear.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.”

Thinking, I cannot be dying. This is not happening. I’m a mother now.

“He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

Please God, undo this.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

There’s so much I want to experience.

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”

Nothing to do but latch onto his voice as the darkness flooded in and unconsciousness loomed like both the heartbreaking end and the answer to so many questions.

“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. I love you Stacie.”

His voice fading.

“I love you Stacie.”

She could feel herself slipping, and she didn’t fight it anymore.

“Always, Stacie.”

Deleted Private Rogers Scene

Joe says: Blake and I intended to put this scene at the end, right between Clay getting blown out the window by the autoclave and Shanna meeting Dr. Cook. The point was to drive home the “reverse Night of the Living Dead” ending, when the military saves the bad guy (in the classic zombie movie, the military kills the hero). Blake and I really wanted this in, and we all liked the scene, but we voted to exclude it because it really wasn’t necessary, and it ruined the pacing. As with all of these alternate and deleted scenes, our motivation for cutting them is exhaustively discussed in the Exclusive Behind-the-Scenes Making of Draculas.

Private Rogers

“After that building comes down,” the radio crackled, “you shoot anything that tries to crawl out, I don’t give a good goddamn if it’s your mother, mow that bitch down.”

Private Rogers stared at the hospital from behind the wheel of the Humvee. He couldn’t believe this shit was happening on US soil.

“Do I need to fucking repeat myself, private?” Col. Halford barked.

Rogers hit the mike on the walkie-talking. “No sir, I—”

A whitehot flash lit the surrounding trees and cars as bright as day, the heat like an open oven, and when Rogers could see again, the hospital was simply not there anymore.

Holy shit. Those autoclaves were badass mothafuckers. What the hell was Halford thinking? Nothing could have survived that—

Wait. What in the hell is that thing?

Rogers moved out of the driver’s seat, climbed up the back of the vehicle, and stood up in the hummer behind an M2 Browning .50 cal., studying the smoking rubble as he fingered the 100-round belt and checked the swivel-range once more. He knew some of his unit had been killed, had heard the firefight going on all around him, but Halford had insisted that nothing be described on the radio. The TV folks were nearby, and the order from on high was don’t let them see or hear shit.

Rogers understood that. Ain’t good for nobody, killing people on camera. Didn’t want Ma or Aunt Sally to hear about their son’s death on the ten o’clock news, neither. But it infuriated Rogers that he didn’t know which of his buddies had been wasted. Made his so damn angry he wanted to pump lead into anything that moved.

Rogers had no idea what they were up against. Terrorists, probably. Wouldn’t send all of this hoo-rah out here unless it was a serious threat. He studied the landscape, looking for the thing he’d just spotted. Giant spotlights burned down on the smoldering ruins.

There.

He swung the fifty twenty degrees left.

Something crawled out of a pile of twisted support beams and staggered to its feet, smoke rising off its shoulders under the glare of the spotlights.

Holy shit.

A fucking monster.

No other way to describe it. Burned all to shit, sure, but those teeth…

Rogers had pulled two tours in Iraq, and he felt that surge of familiar adrenaline as he sited up the enemy combatant—nothing like opening up on someone with Ma Deuce.

Easier than shootin’ barrels, and pure fun.

He put one round center mass, and the thing stopped, wavering amid the rubble…but kept stumbling toward him.

Got-damn.

He’d never seen a .50 round fail to stop anything.

Seen them bring down bulls with one shot. Fuck up the entire engine blocks of civilian cars.

Rogers aimed again, this time a hair higher, and squeezed off three quick rounds.

The monster’s head disappeared.

As it toppled, others emerged out of the rubble behind it, some of them beginning to run toward the parking lot.

He opened up, took a dozen rounds to bring down six of them, and even still some continued to drag their gut-strewn selves across the ground.

Fuck!

He’d missed this one—one of the infecteds climbing through a pile of debris just on the edge of his peripheral vision.

He swung the fifty as far left as it would go, the infected a half second from escaping his range.

One squeeze and in the brilliance of the closest spotlight, a red cloud blew out the side of the thing’s head as it crashed to the ground.

Fuckin’a it felt good to be back behind the big fifty, almost made him miss Iraqistan. Crazy thing, but while cruising those insurgent-infested shithole neighborhoods, it had occurred to Rogers that war hadn’t felt like war at all. Not that he’d had—

Shit!

Four rounds practically cut the monster running toward him in half at the waist.

—any real inkling of what it would be like, but certainly not what it had turned out to be, all so surreal and horrific, like the best videogame you ever played—ridiculous and fun and profoundly sad, and after awhile, like nothing. Beyond computation.

Here came a pack of them now, all streaking toward him and hissing, and he let them get close this time, inside of thirty feet, before he cut loose, and knowing he still had four 100-round belts, he went a little crazy, barrel blazing until those monsters had practically dissolved into red mist in front of him.

Fuck, that felt good!

He was just getting going now, sweeping the rubble back and forth, jonesing to go again, but the fifty-high was fading fast.

Then it was gone.

Nothing moved in the ruins.

Come on! He was just getting warmed up. One more. Please, God, send one more. One more of those fucked-up creatures for me to kill, and I swear I won’t even fucking swear any more.

But still nothing moved. Nothing except that TV helicopter, coming down to land on the grass a few dozen yards from his hummer. Rogers hoped it was filled with monsters—lighting up a chopper would be hella-good—but when it landed some children piled out.

Rogers felt something inside him deflating. That emptiness that had always filled him after a recon—

Wait.

There.

Forty feet ahead, a piece of blackened cinderblock shifted.

Thank you, God.

He sited up the movement, felt his heart starting to beat a little faster now. No headshot this time. Not even center mass. He was going to savor this one. Take it slow, start low, work his way up the legs, do the knees one at a time.

Now several pieces of cinderblock were thrown aside and a creature slowly came to its feet.

Rogers smiled.

Can’t believe they pay me to do this shit.

He aimed at one of the feet as the monster started toward him across the rubble, and his finger has just begun to ease back on the trigger when he stopped.

This thing didn’t move like those monsters.

It wore blue scrubs, partly singed, but it moved…like a man. An uninfected man.

“Don’t shoot!” the man said as he approached, his hands lifted.

“Stop right fucking there!” Rogers screamed.

The man stopped. “I’m not one of them. I swear to—”

“Don’t matter.”

“I’m one of the few survivors of this massacre, soldier. I would imagine you have some people who need treatment. I am a doctor here.” He glanced back at what was left of Blessed Crucifixion. “Or I used to be.”

Rogers finger twitched. All he could think about were Halford’s orders.

Shoot anything that tries to crawl out, I don’t give a good goddamn if it’s your mother, mow that bitch down.

He signed up to do some killing, for fucking sure, even killed some civvies in Iraqistan, but those had all been accidents. Dumbasses reaching for a cell phone at the wrong time, buenas noches, muthafucker.

“Come closer,” Rogers said.

The doctor stepped into the illumination of the spotlight mounted to the roof beside the 50 cal.

He was scratched up all to hell. Young doctor, too. Thirty-one, thirty-two tops.

“What’s your name?” Rogers asked.

“Dr. Cook. Look, it’s an infection spread by biting. I’m not bitten anywhere.”

Dr. Cook lifted his hands, turning in a slow circle.

I should just fucking put two rounds through his chest right now and call it good. If Halford finds out I let someone through, I’m in for a serious ass-fucking.

Rogers was about to let the gun eat the unlucky doc up, but those damn TV folks from the helicopter, with the damn kids and their damn camera, came running up. Then the damn pilot handed the damn doctor a baby.

Shit. Live on Channel 6, lone soldier massacres seven civvies. After the networks and CNN got tired of it, the clip would be on YouTube forever.

Rogers flicked on the safety.

“Getcher ass behind the perimeter line,” Rogers said, “By the trailer in the lot.”

“Sure thing, and thank you…what was your name?”

“Doesn’t matter. Fact, don’t even tell them you talked to me. I’m supposed to kill anything that moves.”

“What about serve and protect?”

“That’s the police, brother. Marines just break shit.”

The doctor smiled. “I won’t breathe a word.”

Then Dr. Cook led the group through the Humvee’s headlights, heading for the perimeter. Rogers climbed off the mount. He had to piss. Another symptom of combat. Some reason, after a firefight, his bladder felt like it was the size of a grape.

He made sure the TV guys weren’t taping him, then took three steps away from the hummer and unzipped, getting things going with a grunt, then streaming urine onto the grass.

He heard something behind him.

CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK…

Rogers spun, reaching for his sidearm, pulsing urine all over his boots.

He pointed the .45 toward the hummer but didn’t see anything.

“Who’s there?”

No answer. Not that the enemy would answer. Could those monsters even talk? Rogers didn’t know, and didn’t care. It wasn’t his job to ask questions.

His piss had dwindled to a trickle. Rogers still had to go, but instead chose to check-in and await orders. He didn’t like being out here alone, even armed to the teeth. But keeping a perimeter around five acres of property, coupled with their casualties, had stretched their unit thin. He holstered both of his weapons (this is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun) climbed into his Humvee, and picked up the radio. Just as he pressed the button to talk, he heard the sound again.

CLICK CLICK CLICK…

But it was closer this time.

Closer, and coming from the back seat.

His eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror.

Staring back at him was one of those monsters, its face burned, some parts right down to the white bone beneath. One eye missing, pink goo dripping out. Sitting back there, click click clicking its horrible teeth as a rope of drool slid out of its jaws.

Rogers immediately reached for his .45, but the creature was on him before he cleared his holster, biting into his neck, so deep that Rogers felt its fangs dragging across his vertebrae.

The pain was instant, blinding, and, strangely, infuriating. Even as his blood gushed out and his vision faded to black, Rogers was royally pissed off that one of these things had gotten the drop on him. Two fucking tours in the Middle East, only to die in Colorado.

It was fucking embarrassing.

Rogers reached blindly for his utility belt, freeing an M67 frag grenade. He pulled the pin with a flick of his thumb, and it dropped it onto his lap just as his consciousness slipped away.

Semper fi, muthafucker.

Private Rogers never heard the explosion.

Deleted Joke

Joe says: Jeff deleted this joke that I inserted into one of Paul’s scenes, in Dr. Lanz’s POV, during the ER massacre in the beginning. He said that Lanz wasn’t the type to think up a joke like this. He’s right, and I was okay with cutting it. But I did cry for two days straight.

Dr. Lanz

“He bit his arm off, doc!” the bearded one said. “That animal bit his fucking arm off! And he bit me in the ass!”

As the pair struggled past, Lanz saw that the man’s ample right buttock was missing a sizable chunk—mostly fat, but a little of the gluteus was exposed.

Talk about a half-assed injury.

Alternate Ending

Joe says: This was as close as we got to any outright disagreements while writing this. And I gotta give big props to FPW, because it was totally unfair to him. We established early on that we’d all have POV characters, and we could end up doing what we wanted with them. I met with Jeff in Florida and we discussed how the Jenny/Randall dynamic would end up—they were star crossed lovers, with Randall’s love strong enough for him to fight for Jenny even after he became a dracula. I’d also discussed Adam and Stacie’s fates with Blake, and since he grooves on nihilism and tragedy, he decided to go the tragic route.

Paul had free reign to do what he wanted with Shanna and Clay, though we’d all discussed letting Shanna live. Clay’s fate, however, changed often during our email discussions. He lived and died and lived and died, back and forth, over and over. The problem was Clay turned out to be one of the most memorable, and likeable, characters in the book.

We all knew going into this that we wanted a Night of the Living Dead type of ending. So Paul did what each of us did—he killed his main character in a spectacular fashion.

But I really didn’t want Clay to die. Paul had created such a fun character, and the rest of the climax was such a downer, that I really believed Clay should live.

Happily, Paul was big enough to allow it, even though it was uncool of me to be such a whining little bitch boy. We compromised with the new, happier ending that appears in the manuscript.

Paul also introduced another mysterious character in these scenes named Dr. Driscoll, who seems to understand what’s going on. This hints at a deep government conspiracy. We all liked this idea, especially if we do a sequel, but it confused some of our beta readers. If we do wind up writing Draculas 2, no doubt Dr. Driscoll will be a key figure.

Shanna

SHE stood by Clay’s suburban, watching the dark, blocky mass of the hospital. A faint, faint glow lit some of the windows, probably backwash from the emergency lights in the hallways, but for the most part it looked dead and deserted. But looks were deceiving. She knew it crawled with—what had Jenny’s ex called them? Draculas. Right. Jenny and her ex were in there—still human, she hoped—and so was Clay.

She prayed for his safe return. Yes, she was going to break his heart when he did return, but she wanted him back. Because somehow the world seemed a better place with Clay than without him.

Ten minutes ago the army had roared in and heavily armed soldiers had piled out of their trucks. A large black trailer had followed the soldiers into the lot but had parked away toward the rear. The people who had emerged were civilians.

And then something scary: The army set up spotlights at the emergency entrance, around the main entrance, and at each stairwell exit. Then they’d positioned soldiers with flame throwers at each point. Looked like they’d been convinced it was contagious. She’d expected officialdom to scoff at the stories of what had gone on in the hospital, but she guessed the recording Clay had insisted on making had convinced them.

Well, she’d never said he was a dummy, just not on her wavelength.

Just then, to her right at the corner of the building, flames lit the night. A scream echoed and then died.

Her heart stumbled over a beat. That was the door she and Clay had used to escape, the door he’d re-entered. They wouldn’t have burned him by mistake, would they? No…that scream had had an unearthly quality. Had to be one of those draculas trying to escape the building. Still…

She took a step in that direction to go check, just to be sure, when she noticed movement on the ground, not too far from her. She looked closer and saw one of the supposedly dead state troopers moving—one of the pair Clay hadn’t shot.

Oh, God. As it lifted its head and looked her way, glow from the army headlights glinted off rows of long sharp teeth.

“Hey!” she called. “Hey, somebody! We’ve got trouble over here! Hey!”

Nobody seemed to hear her. The noise from truck motors revving, soldiers shouting to each other, giving and taking orders, swallowed her cries.

“Hey!” she called, raising her voice to its limit. “A little help over here.”

She backed up a few steps, readying to run, fearing it was coming for her, but it veered away, toward the empty darkness.

Confused? The side of its skull looked bashed in. Too damaged to know what it was doing? Well, that was fine with Shanna…

Except if it got away and bit someone, the plague would be loose and there’d be no stopping it.

She screamed. “Will somebody please—oh, crap!” He was going to get away and no one was paying her a bit off attention.

She glanced in the rear of Clay’s Suburban and saw his super shotgun, his beloved AA-something. She didn’t want to touch it…she remembered Marge back in the chapel, but somebody had to stop that thing.

She grabbed the gun and went around the other side of the car in time to see the dracula passing. How hard could this be? She raised the shotgun, pointed it toward the thing, and, closing her eyes—she couldn’t look—pulled the trigger.

The gun boomed but had nowhere near the kick of that pistol Clay had handed her.

She opened her eyes and saw the dracula on the pavement. She was about to congratulate herself when she realized it was still alive, if that was what you could call whatever it was, and trying to regain its feet. But it couldn’t. Shanna had shredded its knee.

“Lower your weapon!” shouted a voice behind her.

She turned and found herself facing the muzzles of half a dozen guns of various shapes and sizes and a chorus telling her to drop it. She laid the shotgun gently on the pavement. After all, Clay loved that thing.

“Now you listen!” she said.

A soldier who looked like he was in command got in her face. “What do you think you’re doing, firing that here?”

Shanna jerked a thumb over her shoulder. “One of them was getting away.”

A couple of the soldiers looked past her. She could tell by their expressions they’d never seen a dracula before.

“Get Doctor Driscoll,” the officer said.

A few minutes later a woman, one of the civilians from the big trailer, appeared. She stared at the dracula with virtually no reaction, not a hint of surprise.

After a few seconds she said, “Dispose of it.”

The officer motioned behind him and a soldier with a flame thrower appeared.

“Light it up,” he told him.

The soldier hesitated, then sent a stream of liquid fire at the thing, engulfing it in flame. It screamed, spasmed, rolled on the ground, then lay still.

Shanna turned away and retched. That had once been a person…

She turned back to the woman, Dr. Driscoll. “Is that the only way to stop the infection?”

The woman stared at her with an alarmed expression. “Infection? Who said anything about infection?”

“It’s obvious.”

“It’s nothing of the sort.”

And then it hit Shanna. Dr. Driscoll hadn’t been repulsed by the dracula. She’d been expecting it. “You’ve seen this before, haven’t you? You knew about this.”

“Who are you and where do you get your wild ideas?”

“I was in there. I saw—”

“In there? In the hospital?” The doctor signaled to the soldiers. “Lock her in quarantine.”

A pair of them grabbed her, one by each arm, and were dragging her toward the trailer when four of the hospital’s third-floor windows facing the parking lot blew out, belching flame and filling the air with bits of glass and charred flesh.

“Clay? Oh, no! Clay!”

Jenny

There was a frightening moment when the whole building shuddered from some sort of explosion. One of Clay’s toys? Or had the cavalry finally arrived?

Jenny continued to stare up at the military helicopter. Over the din of the rotors she yelled, “Down here!”

It hovered directly overhead, and she watched one of the bay doors open. Then they began to lower a rescue basket down on a cable.

No…not a rescue basket.

What the heck is that?

Shanna

The soldiers who had been escorting her—a euphemism—to the trailer had seemed as shocked by the explosion as she. She’d tried to use their distraction to escape but they had too secure a grip on her. They’d pulled her inside and stuck her in what they’d called “the quarantine room.”

It looked improvised in some ways—a featureless space with no decorations and half a dozen one-piece polymer chairs. But the small, fixed window that had to be at least an inch thick said otherwise. The best thing about that window was it faced the parking lot. Shanna had her nose pressed against it now, hands cupped around her eyes to shut out the room light, straining to see what was going on.

What had happened? An explosion could mean only one person: Clay. But what could he have been carrying to blow out a wall like that? Better not to think about it. Who knew what Clay carried in his bag of tricks?

The door opened behind her. She turned to see four disheveled-looking kids being herded into the room by the same two soldiers who had brought her. They moved away and Dr. Driscoll stepped into the doorway. She held a squalling baby in her arms.

“Here,” she said, holding it out to Shanna. “It’s a girl.”

Not knowing what else to do, Shanna took her. One look at her face told her it was a newborn.

“What—?”

Dr. Driscoll sniffed. “I don’t do babies.”

Shanna had done a ton of babysitting as a teen. She knew that cry.

“She’s starving.”

“We have nothing to feed it.”

“But—”

“She must be quarantined with the rest of you. Deal with it.”

She shut the door.

Shanna turned to the kids and, over the baby’s screams, pieced together a disjointed story about a guy with a chainsaw—had to be Jenny’s Randall—and a “guy with a big cool gun”—no question who that was—who had saved them and put them on the helicopter.

“Only four of you?”

They nodded and began to cry. Not a good question.

The door opened again, revealing neither the soldiers nor Dr. Driscoll. Instead, a good-looking guy in green scrubs and longish brown hair stood there, smiling.

“Hello, Shanna. I’m Doctor Cook, a pediatrician. I’ve come to check over the baby.”

He reached for her and Shanna gladly relinquished the screaming child.

As soon as Dr. Cook cradled her in his arms, she stopped crying. Shanna looked to see if anything was wrong but she had her eyes open and was staring at the doctor.

“That’s amazing.”

He smiled again. “I have a way with children.”

Something familiar about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

He glanced up and down the hall, then looked her directly in the eyes. “You don’t belong here. I’m stepping outside. You can come with me if you wish.”

“But the kids—”

“Will be fine. This is a one-time offer.”

Shanna didn’t know about this. “I can just walk out?”

“The military personnel are distracted at the moment. That is only temporary, I assure you. Come.”

He turned and walked toward the rear of the trailer. Shanna followed, saying, “But I came in—”

“Two entrances.”

He led her to a door that opened on the side opposite the hospital. Three steps down and fifty feet across the pavement put them on the edge of the trees bordering the parking lot. He turned and stared toward the hospital. She followed his gaze and saw the soldiers withdrawing deeper into the lot, away from the building.

“Are they leaving?”

“Hardly.”

He pointed up to a helicopter, much larger than the TV station’s, hovering over the hospital roof. Its flashing lights revealed a long, bulky cylinder hanging vertically from a cable as it was lowered to the roof.

“Is that something to haul away survivors?”

“Hardly.” His tone was grim as he repeated the word.

She glanced at him—so was his expression. She again had that sense of déjà vu—that somehow she’d seen him before, that they’d met before.

“What is it, then?”

“They call it an ‘autoclave.’“

She’d heard Dr. Driscoll mention that, but still had no idea what it was.

“That’s no help.”

“In medical facilities, it’s a device used to steam sterilize medical instruments.”

She shook her head. “I’m not following.”

“No reason you should. I didn’t understand either, so I eavesdropped. It’s a giant shaped charge. When detonated it will shoot a plasma jet down through the hospital roof with irresistible force at a speed of eight-thousand feet per second. The jet will penetrate each of the floors like an anti-tank missile melting through steel armor plate. The air in the hospital will heat to ten thousand degrees, sterilizing the entire structure.”

Shanna heard the words as she watched the helicopter ascend from the roof and fly off without its cargo, but they weren’t making sense.

…plasma jet…ten-thousand degrees… sterilize the entire structure…

And then—

“Oh, my God! They can’t! Clay’s in there!”

Jenny

BY the time she realized that the object they had dropped on the roof was a bomb—a huge, army-green charge—Jenny had just enough time for a belly laugh. Randall would have appreciated the irony of surviving a dracula outbreak only to be killed by the good guys.

Clay

He snatched up the Taurus and began wiping her off. Poor girl was a mess—blood, plaster dust, and who knew what else.

He hugged her to his chest. “Hey, baby. Gonna take you home and get you cleaned up and oiled and good as—”

He heard a boom from above and then a blast of heat like a solar flare fused Alice to his chest and his last thought was how they’d be together forever.

Shanna

Shanna began to run toward the parking lot. She had to find Dr. Driscoll, had to convince her not to—

The roof of the hospital exploded in an incandescent flare. The boom and shockwave stopped her in her tracks and she watched in horror as the windows and walls of the fourth floor belched flame and debris, followed almost immediately by the third and second and first. Every entrance, every exit blew its doors and shot flames like giant blowtorches.

And then the floors began to collapse—first the roof onto the fourth, then the fourth onto the third, pancaking all the way down to ground level, leaving only a flame-riddled cloud of smoke and dust and debris on the far side of the parking lot.

A cheer went up from the watching soldiers and she wanted to kill them. Instead, she began to cry. Huge, wracking sobs shook her to her toes.

Clay… she felt the ring box in her pocket pressing against her thigh. A good man, a hero, and no one would know. Not that Clay would care. No, wait. Those kids would know. They’d remember the guy with the big cool gun. Clay would love to be remembered that way, but—

She felt a hand on her shoulder and spun—Dr. Cook.

“You’d better go,” he said.

She wiped her tears. “Where? How?”

“Walk into the woods and keep going. Don’t look back, and don’t go home.”

“Why not?”

“They’ll be looking for you.”

“Who are ‘they?’“

He frowned as he stared at the trailer. “I don’t know. And I don’t know how they learned about—” He cut himself off with a quick shake of his head and looked at her. “Whoever they are, they don’t want you running around. You weren’t locked in that room because they thought you might be infected. You’ve seen too much. They want to contain you.”

“But where can I go?”

“Anywhere but here. Please. Get away now.”

“Why are you doing this? Why do you care?”

He hesitated. “You seem like a good person. And… I’d like to know you better. But that can’t happen if you’re locked away. Now go—please.”

She turned and hurried into the woods with no idea where she was going. But as the trees swallowed her, a slow-burning anger replaced her grief. They killed Clay Theel, a good man who’d asked to marry her. Squashed him like a bug. Where did they get off thinking they could get away with that?

She thought of Clay’s father. After they’d worn each other out in bed, she used to listen to Clay talk about his “daddy” and what a nut he was. But a survivalist type might be just what she needed right now. He deserved to know that his son was dead, and how he died. And he’d be the type to believe why he died.

Where had he said Daddy lived?

Up near Silverton?

That was where she’d head.

The Man in the Scrubs

“You are hungry, aren’t you,” he cooed to the infant in his arms. “Well, we’ll fix that.”

His canine teeth extended. They were so much better than the previous, unwieldy set he’d shed in the laundry room less than half an hour ago. This new form was superior. His thoughts were clear, focused. And he looked human. Better than human. Better than his best days on Wall Street. He would blend in much better than those monsters.

Better still, he was young and healthy again.

He bit the tip of his index finger and watched the blood well into a good-size bead, then put touched it to the baby’s mouth. She made a face at first, then began to suck.

“Looks like we’ve got our work cut out for us, little one. We seem to have experienced a setback on the way to a brave new world, but it’s only temporary. We’ll get there eventually, and you’ll play a big part. Oh, yes, little one. I have big plans for you.”

Alternate Epilogue

Joe says: While brainstorming on the phone with Blake, we got to talking about what would happen if the dracula contagion could infect animals. That led to his rat scene with Adam, and this scene. The idea was to make the contagion a cause for not only vampires, but werewolves. Dracula bites dog, dog bites man, man becomes wolfman. But it just didn’t fit, and seemed tacked-on. If we do write Draculas 2, this might be a sub-plot. Or this might become another book called Werewolves…

Epilogue

Jeremiah Fisk took another swig from the bottle of Early Times and switched off his television with a scowl. For the past hour he’d been watching the media speculate on what exactly had happened at the Blessed Crucifixion Hospital. First they’d called it a rabies outbreak. Then it was a fire. Now they were saying it was a natural gas explosion.

“Gas explosion my ass,” he said.

Fisk lived near the hospital, just a few miles away as the crow flies. He saw the cop cars speed past. Saw the military vehicles.

He also heard the BOOM—strong enough to knock his bowling trophies off his shelves—and saw the fireball shoot up into the sky, bigger’n the Republic Plaza in downtown Denver. Ain’t no way that wasn’t some kinda army bomb.

Fisk padded into the kitchen, and stepped barefoot into something warm and wet.

“Goddammit, Zeke!”

He squinted at the floor, saw a smear of blood. His goddamn German Shepherd. Must have killed something else. Last time it was a rabbit that Zeke had half-eaten then hid behind the sofa. Fisk only found it because it had begun to stink.

If that stupid dog dragged any more varmints into this house, Fisk was gonna chain the mutt outside for a month.

“What did you do this time, Zeke?”

Fisk followed the trail from the linoleum to the carpet—goddamn dog!—and then found Zeke crouched next to the front door, snacking on something.

“What have you got there, dog?”

Fisk bent over to reach for it, and Zeke snarled at him. He gave the dog a smack on the nose, making him drop the animal.

But it wasn’t an animal. Not a whole one, anyway.

It looked kind of like a rat, only its teeth were huge—as big as Zeke’s.

It was the damnedest thing Fisk had ever seen.

“Where’d you get this, boy?” Fisk asked his dog.

Then he noticed the blood dripping from Zeke’s muzzle.

“Shit, Zeke. You hurt? This little son of a bitch take a chunk outta you?”

Fisk pried up his dog’s lip, and was shocked to see most of Zeke’s teeth had fallen out.

Rabies? Was the news story on the TV true?

Naw. Rabies didn’t work that fast. Zeke was fine a few hours ago. And it didn’t make animals lose their teeth.

Didn’t make their teeth grow back, neither.

And Fisk watched, dumbfounded, as Zeke’s new set of teeth grew impossibly long, shearing through the dog’s cheeks, its mouth stretching open, as he leapt up for his owner’s throat.

Desert Places

A bonus excerpt from Blake’s novel, DESERT PLACES, also available in the Kindle Store…

On a lovely May evening, I sat on my deck, watching the sun descend upon Lake Norman. So far, it had been a perfect day. I’d risen at 5:00 A.M. as I always do, put on a pot of French roast, and prepared my usual breakfast of scrambled eggs and a bowl of fresh pineapple. By six o’clock, I was writing, and I didn’t stop until noon. I fried two white crappies I’d caught the night before, and the moment I sat down for lunch, my agent called. Cynthia fields my messages when I’m close to finishing a book, and she had several for me, the only one of real importance being that the movie deal for my latest novel, Blue Murder, had closed. It was good news of course, but two other movies had been made from my books, so I was used to it by now.

I worked in my study for the remainder of the afternoon and quit at 6:30. My final edits of the new as yet untitled manuscript would be finished tomorrow. I was tired, but my new thriller, The Scorcher, would be on bookshelves within the week. I savored the exhaustion that followed a full day of work. My hands sore from typing, eyes dry and strained, I shut down the computer and rolled back from the desk in my swivel chair.

I went outside and walked up the long gravel drive toward the mailbox. It was the first time I’d been out all day, and the sharp sunlight burned my eyes as it squeezed through the tall rows of loblollies that bordered both sides of the drive. It was so quiet here. Fifteen miles south, Charlotte was still gridlocked in rush-hour traffic, and I was grateful not to be a part of that madness. As the tiny rocks crunched beneath my feet, I pictured my best friend, Walter Lancing, fuming in his Cadillac. He’d be cursingthe drone of horns and the profusion of taillights as he inched away from his suite in uptown Charlotte, leaving the quarterly nature magazine Hiker to return home to his wife and children. Not me, I thought, the solitary one.

For once, my mailbox wasn’t overflowing. Two envelopes lay inside, one a bill, the other blank except for my address typed on the outside. Fan mail.

Back inside, I mixed myself a Jack Daniel’s and Sun-Drop and took my mail and a book on criminal pathology out onto the deck. Settling into a rocking chair, I set everything but my drink on a small glass table and gazed down to the water. My backyard is narrow, and the woods flourish a quarter mile on either side, keeping my home of ten years in isolation from my closest neighbors. Spring had not come this year until mid-April, so the last of the pink and white dogwood blossoms still specked the variably green interior of the surrounding forest. Bright grass ran down to a weathered gray pier at the water’s edge, where an ancient weeping willow sagged over the bank, the tips of its branches dabbling in the surface of the water.

The lake is more than a mile wide where it touches my property, making houses on the opposite shore visible only in winter, when the blanket of leaves has been stripped from the trees. So now, in the thick of spring, branches thriving with baby greens and yellows, the lake was mine alone, and I felt like the only living soul for miles around.

I put my glass down half-empty and opened the first envelope. As expected, I found a bill from the phone company, and I scrutinized the lengthy list of calls. When I’d finished, I set it down and lifted the lighter envelope. There was no stamp, which I thought strange, and upon slicing it open, I extracted a single piece of white paper and unfolded it. In the center of the page, one paragraph had been typed in black ink:

Greetings. There is a body buried on your property, covered in your blood. The unfortunate young lady’s name is Rita Jones. You’ve seen this missing schoolteacher’s face on the news, I’m sure. In her jeans pocket you’ll find a slip of paper with a phone number on it. You have one day to call that number. If I have not heard from you by 8:00 P.M. tomorrow (5/17), the Charlotte Police Department will receive an anonymous phone call. I’ll tell them where Rita Jones is buried on Andrew Thomas’s lakefront property, how he killed her, and where the murder weapon can be found in his house. (I do believe a paring knife is missing from your kitchen.) I hope for your sake I don’t have to make that call. I’ve placed a property marker on the grave site. Just walk along the shoreline toward the southern boundary of your property and you’ll find it. I strongly advise against going to the police, as I am always watching you.

A smile edged across my lips. I even chuckled to myself. Because my novels treat crime and violence, my fans often have a demented sense of humor. I’ve received death threats, graphic artwork, even notes from people claiming to have murdered in the same fashion as the serial killers in my books. But I’ll save this, I thought. I couldn’t remember one so original.

I read it again, but a premonitory twinge struck me the second time, particularly because the author had some knowledge regarding the layout of my property. And a paring knife was, in fact, missing from my cutlery block. Carefully refolding the letter, I slipped it into the pocket of my khakis and walked down the steps toward the lake.

As the sun cascaded through the hazy sky, beams of light drained like spilled paint across the western horizon. Looking at the lacquered lake suffused with deep orange, garnet, and magenta, I stood by the shore for several moments, watching two sunsets collide.

Against my better judgment, I followed the shoreline south and was soon tramping through a noisy bed of leaves. I’d gone an eighth of a mile when I stopped. At my feet, amid a coppice of pink flowering mountain laurel, I saw a miniature red flag attached to a strip of rusted metal thrust into the ground. The flag fluttered in a breeze that curled off the water. This has to be a joke, I thought, and if so, it’s a damn good one.

As I brushed away the dead leaves that surrounded the marker, my heart began to pound. The dirt beneath the flag was packed, not crumbly like undisturbed soil. I even saw half a footprint when I’d swept all the leaves away.

I ran back to the house and returned with a shovel. Because the soil had previously been unearthed, I dug easily through the first foot and a half, directly below where the marker had been placed. At two feet, the head of the shovel stabbed into something soft. My heart stopped. Throwing the shovel aside, I dropped to my hands and knees and clawed through the dirt. A rotten stench enveloped me, and as the hole deepened, the smell grew more pungent.

My fingers touched flesh. I drew my hand back in horror and scrambled away from the hole. Rising to my feet, I stared down at a coffee brown ankle, barely showing through the dirt. The odor of rot overwhelmed me, so I breathed only through my mouth as I took up the shovel again.

When the corpse was completely exposed, and I saw what a month of putrefaction could do to a human face, I vomited into the leaves. I kept thinking that I should have the stomach for this because I write about it. Researching the grisly handiwork of serial killers, I’d studied countless mutilated cadavers. But I had never smelled a human being decomposing in the ground, or seen how insects teem in the moist cavities.

I composed myself, held my hand over my mouth and nose, and peered again into the hole. The face was unrecognizable, but the body was undoubtedly that of a short black female, thick in the legs, plump through the torso. She wore a formerly white shirt, now marred with blood and dirt, the fabric rent over much of the chest, primarily in the vicinity of her heart. Jean shorts covered her legs down to the knees. I got back down on all fours, held my breath, and reached for one of her pockets. Her legs were mushy and turgid, and I had great difficulty forcing my hand into the tight jeans. Finding nothing in the first pocket, I stepped across the hole and tried the other. Sticking my hand inside it, I withdrew a slip of paper from a fortune cookie and fell back into the leaves, gasping for clean lungfuls of air. On one side, I saw the phone number; on the other: “you are the only flower of meditation in the wilderness.”

In five minutes, I’d reburied the body and the marker. I took a small chunk of granite from the shore and placed it on the thicketed grave site. Then I returned to the house. It was quarter to eight, and there was hardly any light left in the sky.

Two hours later, sitting on the sofa in my living room, I dialed the number on the slip of paper. Every door to the house was locked, most of the lights turned on, and in my lap, a cold satin stainless .357 revolver.

I had not called the police for a very good reason. The claim that it was my blood on the woman was probably a lie, but the paring knife had been missing from my kitchen for weeks. Also, with the Charlotte Police Department’s search for Rita Jones dominating local news headlines, her body on my property, murdered with my knife, possibly with my fingerprints on it, would be more than sufficient evidence to indict me. I’d researched enough murder trials to know that.

As the phone rang, I stared up at the vaulted ceiling of my living room, glanced at the black baby grand piano I’d never learned to play, the marble fireplace, the odd artwork that adorned the walls. A woman named Karen, whom I’d dated for nearly two years, had convinced me to buy half a dozen pieces of art from a recently deceased minimalist from New York, a man who signed his work “Loman.” I hadn’t initially taken to Loman, but Karen had promised me I’d eventually “get” him. Now, $27,000 and one fiancee lighter, I stared at the ten-by-twelve-foot abomination that hung above the mantel: shit brown on canvas, with a basketball-size yellow sphere in the upper right-hand corner. Aside from Brown No. 2, four similar marvels of artistic genius pockmarked other walls of my home, but these I could suffer. Mounted on the wall at the foot of the staircase, it was Playtime, the twelve-thousand-dollar glass-encased heap of stuffed animals, sewn together in an orgiastic conglomeration, which reddened my face even now. But I smiled, and the knot that had been absent since late winter shot a needle of pain through my gut. My Karen ulcer. You’re still there. Still hurting me. At least it’s you.

The second ring.

I peered up the staircase that ascended to the exposed second-floor hallway, and closing my eyes, I recalled the party I’d thrown just a week ago-guests laughing, talking politics and books, filling up my silence. I saw a man and a woman upstairs, elbows resting against the oak banister, overlooking the living room, the wet bar, and the kitchen. Holding their wineglasses, they waved down to me, smiling at their host.

The third ring.

My eyes fell on a photograph of my mother-a five-by-seven in a stained-glass frame, sitting atop the obsidian piano. She was the only family member with whom I maintained regular contact. Though I had relatives in the Pacific Northwest, Florida, and a handful in the Carolinas, I saw them rarely-at reunions, weddings, or funerals that my mother shamed me into attending with her. But with my father having passed away and a brother I hadn’t seen in thirteen years, family meant little to me. My friends sustained me, and contrary to popular belief, I didn’t have the true reclusive spirit imputed to me. I did need them.

In the photograph, my mother is squatting down at my father’s grave, pruning a tuft of carmine canna lilies in the shadow of the headstone. But you can only see her strong, kind face among the blossoms, intent on tidying up her husband’s plot of earth under that magnolia he’d taught me to climb, the blur of its waxy green leaves behind her.

The fourth ring.

“Did you see the body?”

It sounded as if the man were speaking through a towel. There was no emotion or hesitation in his staccato voice.

“Yes.”

“I gutted her with your paring knife and hid the knife in your house. It has your fingerprints all over it.” He cleared his throat. “Four months ago, you had blood work done by Dr. Xu. They misplaced a vial. You remember having to go back and give more?”

“Yes.”

“I stole that vial. Some is on Rita Jones’s white T-shirt. The rest is on the others.”

“What others?”

“I make a phone call, and you spend the rest of your life in prison, possibly death row…”

“I just want you-”

“Shut your mouth. You’ll receive a plane ticket in the mail. Take the flight. Pack clothes, toiletries, nothing else. You spent last summer in Aruba. Tell your friends you’re going again.”

“How did you know that?”

“I know many things, Andrew.”

“I have a book coming out,” I pleaded. “I’ve got readings scheduled. My agent-”

“Lie to her.”

“She won’t understand me just leaving like this.”

“Fuck Cynthia Mathis. You lie to her for your safety, because if I even suspect you’ve brought someone along or that someone knows, you’ll go to jail or you’ll die. One or the other, guaranteed. And I hope you aren’t stupid enough to trace this number. I promise you it’s stolen.”

“How do I know I won’t be hurt?”

“You don’t. But if I get off the phone with you and I’m not convinced you’ll be on that flight, I’ll call the police tonight. Or I may visit you while you’re sleeping. You’ve got to put that Smith and Wesson away sometime.”

I stood up and spun around, the gun clenched in my sweaty hands. The house was silent, though chimes on the deck were clanging in a zephyr. I looked through the large living room windows at the black lake, its wind-rippled surface reflecting the pier lights. The blue light at the end of Walter’s pier shone out across the water from a distant inlet. His “Gatsby light,” we called it. My eyes scanned the grass and the edge of the trees, but it was far too dark to see anything in the woods.

“I’m not in the house,” he said. “Sit down.”

I felt something well up inside of me-anger at the fear, rage at this injustice.

“Change of plan,” I said. “I’m going to hang up, dial nine one one, and take my chances. You can go-”

“If you aren’t motivated by self-preservation, there’s an old woman named Jeanette I could-”

“I’ll kill you.”

“Sixty-five, lives alone, I think she’d love the company. What do you think? Do I have to visit your mother to show you I’m serious? What is there to consider? Tell me you’ll be on that plane, Andrew. Tell me so I don’t have to visit your mother tonight.”

“I’ll be on that plane.”

The phone clicked, and he was gone.

Dweller

A bonus excerpt from Jeff’s novel, DWELLER, also available in the Kindle Store…

When Toby next met the monster, his hair still had traces of Nick Wyler’s urine. Nick hadn’t actually peed on Toby, thank God, but he’d seasoned the toilet bowl before Toby’s head plunged into the murky depths.

“C’mon, hurry up!” urged Larry Gaige, moments before the dunking. Larry was far and away the biggest creep at Orange Leaf High. His physical build would’ve made him football team material, if he had any interest in fighting other kids his size. He held Toby against the wall of the bathroom stall, with Toby’s head pressed next to a detailed but inaccurate drawing of a vagina.

“I’m trying!” Nick insisted. He stood next to the toilet, trying to relieve himself but suffering from performance anxiety. Toby personally had always had a real issue with the lack of doors in the bathrooms, so he could understand why it might be difficult for Nick to pee with two other guys in the stall.

Toby struggled some more, mostly for show. He was short, thin, and outnumbered, and knew he wasn’t getting out of this bathroom undunked unless a teacher happened to walk in, searching for smokers. Calling for help was not an option. Larry got his thrills by causing humiliation, not pain, but he would hurt you if he had to.

“Let’s go, let’s go!” said Larry, kicking Nick on the back of the leg. Toby heard a few drops hit the water and a few more hit the seat.

“Why don’t you do it? I haven’t had enough to drink today.”

“Are you kidding me?” Larry gave his friend a look of absolute disbelief. “Just yank the stopper out of your dick and take a piss!”

“Maybe if you left the stall for a minute…?”

For a moment, Toby thought that Larry was actually going to let him go so that he could focus his attention on beating the crap out of Nick. His optimism was quickly extinguished as Larry slammed him against the wall hard enough to make him bite his tongue. He winced and tasted blood.

The sound of a healthy stream of urine hitting the toilet water filled the stall. Nick was cured.

“Okay, that’s enough,” said Larry. “We’ve gotta hurry up.”

“I can’t stop once I’ve started!”

“Jesus Christ!”

“Just let me finish!”

Larry stood there, visibly fuming, as Nick continued the challenging process of relieving himself. Toby kept praying that a teacher or some other adult visitor would walk in and question the presence of three teenage boys sharing a restroom stall, but as the stream slowed to a trickle and then to a spatter, Toby knew his moment of extreme indignity had almost arrived.

Larry shoved Nick out of the way before he was completely done. Nick punched him in the arm. “I bought these pants with my own money!”

Ignoring his friend, Larry pushed Toby to his knees in front of the toilet bowl and then quickly pushed his face toward the aromatic liquid. Toby squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath as his face dipped into the warm water. He gagged and desperately tried not to inhale as the toilet flushed and the water swirled around his head.

Once the water had completely exited the bowl, Larry let go of his neck. He and Nick walked out of the stall, laughing. Another scrawny twerp successfully humiliated.

Could’ve been worse. Had been worse, several times. Still, Toby’s cheeks burned from shame and he felt like he was going to throw up as he coughed and gagged and gasped for breath.

Toby left the stall, turned on one of the faucets, and tried to rinse the piss out of his hair. He could tattle on those jerks and get them suspended, but suspensions were temporary, and there wasn’t much the school board could do if the bullies decided to lie in wait for him next to his front porch with tire irons and broken bottles.

Okay, he didn’t actually believe that Larry and Nick would kill him, or even hospitalize him. The most violence they’d inflict was a hard punch to the stomach, maybe some light bruises elsewhere. But there was a code of honor at Orange Leaf High: you didn’t rat out your peers. Not even awful, reprehensible, deserve-to-die peers. Nobody liked a rat fink. If Toby went to his parents or a teacher, he’d be scorned by every kid in school.

He was already the Weird Kid in a school that was severely lacking in other weird kids. If he became the Weird Kid Who Was Also A Rat Fink, he might as well kiss any glimpse of hope for making friends—real friends, maybe even a girlfriend—goodbye. He didn’t have many friends in elementary school or junior high, but at least the kids there talked to him, sometimes. But most of his half-friends had gone to West End High, and his out-of-the-way address put him in the Orange Leaf High district, so he was starting over.

Anyway, someday he’d get Larry and Nick back. He was doing chin-ups every day. He could do eleven or twelve of them now. By the end of the year, who knew how big his muscles might be?

“Time for a dunking!” Larry might say, pulling Toby into the stall. Toby would drop to his knees, and Nick would laugh and laugh at how easy it was to overpower him. But, oh, how his laughter would stop when Toby suddenly used his brute strength to rip the toilet right out of the floor!

“Holy cow!” Nick would scream. “How many chin-ups has he done?”

Toby would smash the toilet into Larry’s face, shattering the porcelain and splashing its abhorrent contents all over him. As Larry dropped to the tile floor, unconscious, Nick would stand there, paralyzed with fear.

“Please don’t kill me,” Nick would whimper.

Toby would shake his head and chuckle. “I’m no killer,” he would say. But then he would give Nick a stern glare, a glare that chilled Nick’s blood. “Dunk yourself.”

“But I’ll be shamed and ridiculed!”

“Don’t make me tell you twice.”

Nick would thrust his own head into the toilet, sobbing like a baby. Toby would watch him flush and flush and flush, inwardly amused but far too mature to point and laugh. Perhaps he’d allow the other students to file through the restroom to witness the defeat and learn from it, or perhaps he’d keep it to himself and merely raise an eyebrow at Larry and Nick when they started to get out of line. Either way, Toby Floren would be the victor.

But that would be later. For now, he had to go back to class with wet hair and embarrassment scorching his cheeks.

A few of the other kids snickered as Toby returned to history class, but Mr. Hastings didn’t say anything about his appearance or tardiness.

During lunch, kids continued to snicker when they looked at him, even though his hair was dry. Clearly, Larry and Nick had shared the uproarious news of their latest conquest. Toby hoped for a sympathetic glance from somebody, anybody, but didn’t receive one. At least a couple of the kids who smiled in his direction had been dunkees themselves.

He sat in his usual spot at the corner table, doodling in his notebook while he ate a roast beef sandwich. There weren’t enough tables in the lunchroom for him to sit by himself, so he sat with his standard group, but an empty seat separated him from the others.

At least his sandwich was good. Mom had made an outstanding dinner last night, and the leftovers were even better in sandwich form.

“What’re you drawing?” asked J.D. Jerick, through a mouthful of potato chips.

“Nothing.”

“Let me see it.”

Toby shook his head. He’d fallen for this before. J.D. had expressed an interest in his art, and Toby had proudly explained exactly how the robot’s jet pack functioned in zero gravity. Then J.D. had let out a donkey-like laugh, grabbed Toby’s notebook, and showed it to everybody at the table. Robots weren’t cool at Orange Leaf High.

“C’mon, I just want to see what you’re drawing.”

“No way.”

“I’m not gonna do anything.”

Toby closed his notebook. There wasn’t much he could do when he was overpowered by physically imposing bullies like Larry and Nick, but J.D. was a different kind of bully, and Toby wasn’t threatened by him at all.

J.D. made a lunge for the notebook, but Toby slid it out of the way. “Just let me see it, Zit Farm. What is it, naked pictures of the teachers?” He raised his voice. “You really shouldn’t be drawing naked pictures of teachers, Toby Floren!”

Toby gave him the finger.

“By the way, you reek. What have you been doing, swimming in the toilet?”

Toby gave him the finger with both hands.

“Loser,” said J.D.

Toby returned his attention to his notebook and his sandwich while the other kids at the table laughed. Why were they on J.D.’s side? Couldn’t they see that he was a complete cretin?

He sketched for a few more minutes, knowing that J.D. was watching him and wasn’t going to let the matter drop.

“What’re you drawing?” J.D. finally repeated.

Toby held up the picture: a hand giving the finger.

J.D. frowned, obviously not thinking that the drawing was very funny. Toby grinned, but stopped grinning when he saw Mr. Hastings staring right at the drawing from across the lunchroom. The teacher made a beeline toward him, and Toby knew that his day was about to get even worse.

Toby wanted to take a shower when he got home, but he wasn’t up to explaining the need for the shower to Mom. He also didn’t want her to think that he had a different, much more private reason for taking a shower at an unusual time. Though he supposed he could just make something up, he’d probably get caught in the lie—he had an active fantasy life, but his skills at deceit were almost non-existent.

“I’m home!” he shouted out, hurrying up the stairs to his room and hoping that Mom wouldn’t ask him to sit with her in the living room and talk about his day.

“Do you have any homework?” Mom called up to him.

“Lots!” he called back. He dumped his backpack on his bed, then pulled out the unnecessary books. He had to do about twenty math problems, a 250-word essay on chapters six and seven of Robinson Crusoe, and study for a history quiz. No problem. He picked up the backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and headed back downstairs.

“Where are you going?” Mom asked. She was seated on the living room couch, half-watching television while writing a letter. She wrote to Grandma once a week, every week, and had ever since she married Dad, even though she hadn’t mailed the letters for a couple of years.

“Woods.”

“I thought you said you had homework?”

He lifted his shoulder, bouncing the backpack. “It’s in here.”

“Oh, okay. Good.”

Toby grinned. “See how easy your life is, having a son who’s so diligent about his homework?”

“It is. It’s very relaxing.”

“Because, you know, there are a lot of dumb and lazy kids out there.”

“I know.”

“I’ll be back before Dad gets home.”

Toby walked about half a mile into the woods, to his favorite spot. Two trees had grown together at the base, forming a surprisingly comfortable seat where the trunks split apart. He set his backpack on the ground, sat on the trees, and began to work through some math problems. Math was his least favorite subject outside of physical education, but he liked Mr. Hesser’s nerdy sense of humor, and paid enough attention to ace every test. His report card was always straight A’s except for music. He enjoyed playing the trumpet but was very, very bad at it.

He completed the math problems, then started on his essay. He’d already finished the entire book—he didn’t like reading books a chapter at a time, and even if the book wasn’t anything spectacular he usually found himself reading through to the end. This one he loved.

He finished up the essay, then spent a few minutes studying for his history quiz. The forest was a wonderful place to study, free of distractions, and it didn’t take much time for the material to sink in. He put his books aside, ran through a list of mental questions and answers to test his knowledge, then stood up, satisfied. Now he could enjoy the rest of his evening.

Then he remembered the sensation of his face splashing into the contaminated water, and his mood soured.

Jerks.

What was wrong with them? Why was humiliating a fellow student their idea of a good time? What pleasure could they get from doing something like that?

Well, admittedly, Toby would get a lot of pleasure from dunking Larry and Nick’s heads in a toilet, preferably the same toilet at the same time, but that was purely revenge based. He hadn’t done anything to them to deserve this.

Jerks. Creeps. Idiots.

Forget about them, he thought. Why let a pair of bullies ruin his evening? His homework was done, he didn’t have to work at the grocery store tonight, it wasn’t raining, the weather hadn’t turned cold yet, and he had the entire forest at his disposal. Screw ’em. He was going to enjoy himself.

He walked for a while, but it didn’t make him feel any better, so he picked up his pace to a jog. He kept his eyes on the ground so that he wouldn’t trip—the forest wasn’t exactly the safest jogging environment, and Toby had extreme tendencies toward being a klutz.

He was only able to jog for a few minutes before he got a stitch in his side, so he rested for a moment until the pain faded, then resumed his jog. Boy, was he in terrible shape. This was embarrassing. He hoped the woodland creatures weren’t laughing at him.

There had to be a way to get back at the bullies without risking a broken nose. What if he bought them each a “Thank You” card for the toilet incident? That would really mess with their minds. It could be a really colorful card, maybe with a piece of chocolate inside, presented to them with no trace of irony. Something like that might really fuel their sense of paranoia. They’d wonder exactly what he had planned for them. Their stomachs would hurt whenever they saw him. It would be glorious!

“What does this mean?” Larry would ask, reading the card for the 73rd time. “Has he gone deranged? Or does he have a ghastly fate in store for us?”

“I do not know!” Nick would answer. “But the suspense may drive me mad!”

Toby felt a little better as he ran.

His dad always got home at 7:15 sharp, which gave him another two hours to goof around in the woods. Maybe he’d see how far he could get in an hour. He spent a lot of time in the woods and knew the few square miles behind his house well, but it was a vast forest that offered new discoveries all the time. Mostly just different trees, but still…

He moved through the woods for about half an hour, alternating between jogging, walking fast, and a couple of brief bursts of sprinting. He should probably join track at school. Might make him some friends. Or one friend.

He stopped running.

Something was lying on the ground in front of a small clearing. Toby walked over to investigate. It was a wooden sign, lying on its side, mostly covered by bushes. The red lettering had faded to almost the same grey color as the wood, but the words were still legible: Danger. Keep Out.

Wow.

A couple of years ago, Toby had discovered an old rusted car, right there amidst the trees. It had looked like something from the 1930’s. He’d spent long nights wondering how it got there. Rationally, he knew that the answer was straightforward, that there had probably just been a path at one time that had since been abandoned and overgrown. But there were dozens of much more interesting scenarios, and they’d captured his imagination until a few weeks later when he found the deer carcass. He’d searched the vehicle thoroughly, but alas, there was no hidden stash of mobster cash.

Danger. Keep Out promised something even more exciting.

What could it be? An abandoned mine? An old bunker filled with explosives?

Toby slowly stepped through the clearing, which was a circle about fifty feet in diameter, watching his feet to make sure he didn’t walk in a bear trap or something like that. The clearing itself seemed to be devoid of anything interesting. He walked around the perimeter, then walked across it several times, but didn’t see anything that looked even remotely worthy of the sign.

They wouldn’t put out a sign like that for no reason. There had to be something. Maybe it was the former site of a horrible plague.

No, even in ancient times, people probably took stronger precautions against the spread of a plague than simply putting out a wooden sign.

He kept searching the area, but there was nothing. What a rip-off.

What if the sign had been moved? He just needed to keep searching. He continued to walk around the area, not going quite so far as to crawl around on his hands and knees, but making sure he was searching thoroughly. If there was something great out here, he was going to find it.

About five minutes beyond the sign, he found a path. A narrow uphill path that looked recently used.

Well, maybe not. There weren’t any distinct footprints or broken branches or anything specific to indicate that somebody might have recently taken a stroll around here. Still, Toby had a weird feeling, something he couldn’t quite pinpoint, that he wasn’t the only person to have used this path today.

This meant that, as a rational, intelligent human being, his best bet was to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

Instead, he stepped onto the path and followed it.

The Keep

A bonus excerpt from Paul’s novel, THE KEEP, also available in the Kindle Store…

Privates Friedrich Waltz and Karl Flick, members of the first Death’s Head unit under Major Kaempffer, stood in their black uniforms, their gleaming black helmets, and shivered. They were bored, cold, and tired. They were unaccustomed to this sort of night duty. Back at Auschwitz they had had warm, comfortable guardhouses and watchtowers where they could sit and drink coffee and play cards while the prisoners cowered in their drafty shacks. Only occasionally had they been required to do gate duty and march the perimeter in the open air.

True, here they were inside, but their conditions were as cold and as damp as the prisoners’. That wasn’t right.

Private Flick slung his Schmeisser behind his back and rubbed his hands together. The fingertips were numb despite his gloves. He stood beside Waltz who was leaning against the wall at the angle of the two corridors. From this vantage point they could watch the entire length of the entry corridor to their left, all the way to the black square of night that was the courtyard, and at the same time keep watch on the prison block to their right.

“I’m going crazy, Karl,” Waltz said. “Let’s do something. “

“Like what?”

“How about making them fall out for a little Sachsengruss?”

“They aren’t Jews.”

“They aren’t Germans, either.”

Flick considered this. The Sachsengruss, or Saxon greeting, had been his favorite method of breaking down new arrivals at Auschwitz. For hours on end he would make them perform the exercise: deep knee bends with arms raised and hands behind the head. Even a man in top condition would be in agony within half an hour. Flick had always found it exhilarating to watch the expressions on the prisoners’ faces as they felt their bodies begin to betray them, as their joints and muscles cried out in anguish. And the fear in their faces. For those who fell from exhaustion were either shot on the spot or kicked until they resumed the exercise. Even if he and Waltz couldn’t shoot any of the Romanians tonight, at least they could have some fun with them. But it might be hazardous.

“Better forget it,” Flick said. “There’s only two of us. What if one of them tries to be a hero?”

“We’ll only take a couple out of the room at a time. Come on, Karl! It’ll be fun!”

Flick smiled. “Oh, all right.”

It wouldn’t be as challenging as the game they used to play at Auschwitz, where he and Waltz held contests to see how many of a prisoner’s bones they could break and still keep him working. But at least a little Sachsengruss would be diverting.

Flick began fishing out the key to the padlock that had transformed the last room on the corridor into a prison cell. There were four rooms available and they could have divided up the villagers but they had crowded all ten into a single chamber instead. He was anticipating the look on their faces when he opened the door—the wincing, lip-quivering fear when they saw his smile and realized they would never receive any mercy from him. It gave him a certain feeling inside, something indescribable, wonderful, something so addictive that he craved more and more of it.

He was halfway to the door when Waltz’s voice stopped him.

“Just a minute, Karl.”

He turned. Waltz was squinting down the corridor toward the courtyard, a puzzled expression on his face. “What is it?” Flick asked.

“Something’s wrong with one of the bulbs down there. The first one—it’s going out.”

“So?”

“It’s fading out.” He glanced at Flick and then back down the corridor. “Now the second one’s fading!” His voice rose half an octave as he lifted his Schmeisser and cocked it. “Get over here!”

Flick dropped the key, swung his own weapon to the ready position, and ran to join his companion. By the time he reached the juncture of the two corridors, the third bulb had gone dark. He tried but could make out no details of the corridor behind the dead bulbs. It was as if the area had been swallowed by impenetrable darkness.

“I don’t like this,” Waltz said.

“Neither do I. But I don’t see a soul. Maybe it’s the generator. Or a bad wire.”

Flick knew he didn’t believe this any more than Waltz did. But he had had to say something to hide his growing fear. Einsatzkommandos were supposed to arouse fear, not feel it.

The fourth bulb began to die. The dark was only a dozen feet away.

“Let’s move into here,” Flick said, backing into the well-lit recess of the rear corridor. He could hear the prisoners muttering in the last room behind them. Though they could not see the dying bulbs, they sensed something was wrong.

Crouched behind Waltz, Flick shivered in the growing cold as he watched the illumination in the outer corridor continue to fade. He wanted something to shoot at but could see only blackness.

And then the blackness was upon him, freezing his joints and dimming his vision. For an instant that seemed to stretch to a lifetime, Private Karl Flick became a victim of the soulless terror he so loved to inspire, felt the deep, gut-tearing pain he so loved to inflict. Then he felt nothing.

Slowly the illumination returned to the corridors, first to the rear, then to the access passage. The only sounds came from the villagers trapped in their cell: whimpering from the women, relieved sobs from the men as they all felt themselves released from the panic that had seized them. One man tentatively approached the door to peer through a tiny space between two boards. His field of vision was limited to a section of floor and part of the rear wall of the corridor.

He could see no movement. The floor was bare except for a splattering of blood, still red, still wet, still steaming in the cold. And on the rear wall there was more blood, but this was smeared instead of splattered. The smears seemed to form a pattern, like letters from an alphabet he almost recognized, forming words that hovered just over the far edge of recognition. Words like dogs howling in the night, naggingly present, but ever out of reach.

The man turned away from the door and rejoined his fellow villagers huddled in the far corner of the room.

Someone was at the door.

Kaempffer’s eyes snapped open; he feared that the earlier nightmare was going to repeat itself. But no. This time he could sense no dark, malevolent presence on the other side of the wall. The agent here seemed human. And clumsy. If stealth were the intruder’s aim, he was failing miserably. But to be on the safe side, Kaempffer pulled his Luger from the holster coiled at his elbow.

“Who’s there?”

No reply.

The rattle of a fumbling hand working the latch continued. Kaempffer could see breaks in the strip of light along the bottom of the door, but they gave no clue as to who might be out there. He considered turning on the lamp, but thought better of it. The dark room gave him an advantage—an intruder would be silhouetted against the light from the hall.

“Identify yourself!”

The fumbling at the latch stopped, to be replaced by a faint creaking and cracking, as if some huge weight were leaning against the door, trying to push through it. Kaempffer couldn’t be sure in the dark, but he thought he saw the door bulge inward. That was two-inch oak! It would take massive weight to do that! As the creaking of the wood grew louder, he found himself trembling and sweating. He had nowhere to go. And now came another sound, as if something were clawing at the door to get in. The noises assailed him, growing louder, paralyzing him. The cracking of the wood was so loud that it seemed it must break into a thousand fragments; the hinges cried out as their metal fastenings were tortured from the stone. Something had to give! He knew he should be chambering a shell into his Luger but he could not move.

The latch suddenly screeched and gave way, the door bursting open and slamming against the wall. Two figures stood outlined in the light from the hall. By their helmets, Kaempffer knew them to be German soldiers, and by their jackboots he knew them to be two of the einsatzkommandos he had brought with him. He should have relaxed at the sight of them, but for some reason he did not. What were they doing breaking into his room?

“Who is it?” he demanded.

They made no reply. Instead, they stepped forward in unison toward where he lay frozen in his bedroll. Something was wrong with their gait—not a gross disorder, but a subtle grotesquery. For one disconcerting moment, Major Kaempffer thought the two soldiers would march right over him. But they stopped at the edge of his bed, simultaneously, as if on command. Neither said a word. Nor did they salute.

“What do you want?” He should have been furious, but the anger would not come. Only fear. Against his wishes, his body was shrinking into the bedroll, trying to hide.

“Speak to me!” The command sounded like a bleat.

No reply. He reached down with his left hand and found the battery lamp beside his bed, all the while keeping the Luger in his right trained on the silent pair looming over him. When his questing fingers found the toggle switch, he hesitated, listening to his own rasping respirations. He had to see who they were and what they wanted, but a deep part of him warned against turning on the light.

Finally, he could stand it no longer. With a groan, he flicked the toggle and held up the lamp.

Privates Flick and Waltz stood over him, faces white and contorted, eyes glazed. A gaping crescent of torn and bloodied flesh grinned down at him from the place where each man’s throat had been. No one moved … the two dead soldiers wouldn’t, Kaempffer couldn’t. For a long, heart-stopping moment, Kaempffer lay paralyzed, the lamp held aloft in his hand, his mouth working spasmodically around a scream of fear that could not pass his locked throat.

Then the tableau was broken. Silently, a1most gracefully, the two soldiers leaned forward and fell onto their commanding officer, pinning him in his bedroll under hundreds of pounds of limp dead flesh.

As Kaempffer struggled frantically to pull himself out from under the two corpses, he heard a far-off voice begin to wail in mortal panic. An isolated part of his brain focused on the sound until he identified it.

The voice was his own.

Shaken

A bonus excerpt is from Joe’s novel, SHAKEN, also available in the Kindle Store…

Twenty-one years ago

1989, June 23

This guy isn’t a killer, Dalton thinks. He’s a butcher.

Dalton isn’t repulsed by the spectacle, or even slightly disturbed. He stays detached and professional, even as he snaps a picture of Brotsky tearing at the prostitute’s body with some kind of three-pronged garden tool.

There’s a lot of blood.

Dalton wonders if he should have brought color film. But there’s something classic, something pure, about shooting in black and white. It makes real life even more realistic.

Dalton opens the f-stop on the lens, adjusting for the setting sun. He’s standing in the backyard of Brotsky’s house, and his subject has been gracious enough to leave the blinds open. From his spot on the lawn, Dalton has a clear view into Brotsky’s living room, where the carnage is taking place. Though Brotsky has a high fence and plenty of foliage on his property, he’s still taking a big risk. There are neighbors on either side, and the back gate leading to the alley is unlocked. Anyone could walk by.

It’s not a smart way to conduct a murder.

Dalton has watched Brotsky kill two hookers in this fashion, and surely there have been others. Yet the Chicago Police Department hasn’t come knocking on Brotsky’s door yet. Brotsky has been incredibly lucky so far.

But luck runs out.

At least Brotsky has the sense to put a tarp down, Dalton thinks.

He snaps another photo. Brotsky’s naked barrel chest is slick with gore, and the look on his unshaven face is somewhere between frenzy and ecstasy as he works the garden tool. He’s not a tall man, but he’s thick, with big muscles under a layer of hard fat. Brotsky sweats a lot, and his balding head gives off a glare which Dalton offsets by using a filter on his lens.

Brotsky sets down the garden tool and picks up a cleaver.

Yeah, this guy is nuts.

Truth told, Dalton has done worse to people, at least as far as suffering goes. If the price is right, Dalton will drag someone’s death out for hours, even days. But Dalton gets no pleasure from the task. Killing is simply his business.

Brotsky is killing to meet baser needs. Sex. Power. Blood lust. Hunger, Dalton muses, taking a shot of Brotsky with his mouth full of something moist.

If Brotsky sticks to his MO, he’ll dismember the girl, wrap up her parts in plastic bags, and then take her severed head into the shower with him. When Brotsky returns, he’ll be squeaky clean, and the head will be gone. Then he’ll load the bags into his car and haul them to the dump site.

Dalton guesses it will be another eleven minutes. He waits patiently, taking occasional snapshots, wondering what Brotsky does with the heads. Dalton isn’t bothered by the heat or the humidity, even though it’s close to ninety degrees and he’s wearing a suit and tie. Unlike Brotsky, Dalton doesn’t sweat. Dalton has pores. He just never feels the need to use them.

Exactly eleven minutes and nine seconds later, Brotsky walks out his back door, dressed in shorts, sandals, and a wrinkled blue Hawaiian shirt. He’s lugging several black plastic garbage bags. The man is painfully unaware, and doesn’t even bother looking around. He walks right past Dalton, who’s hiding behind the girth of an ancient oak tree, gun in hand.

The hitman falls into step behind the butcher, his soft-soled shoes silent on the walkway. He trails Brotsky, close as a shadow, for several steps before jamming the Ruger against the fat man’s back. Brotsky stops cold.

“This is a gun, Victor Brotsky. Try to run and I’ll fire. The bullet will blow your heart out the front of your chest. Neither of us want that to happen. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Brotsky says. “Can I put down these bags? They’re heavy.”

Brotsky doesn’t seem frightened, or even surprised. Dalton is impressed. Perhaps the man is more of a pro than Dalton had guessed.

“No. We’re going to walk, slowly, out to the alley. My car is parked there. You’re going to put the pieces of the hooker in the trunk.”

Brotsky does as he’s told. Dalton’s black 1989 El Dorado Roadster is parked alongside Brotsky’s garage. The car isn’t as anonymous as Dalton would prefer, but he needs to keep up appearances. The wiseguys he works for like Caddys, and driving the latest model somewhat compensates for the fact that Dalton isn’t Italian.

“Trunk’s open. Put the bags inside and take out the red folder.”

Brotsky hefts the bags into the trunk, and they land with a solid thump. The alley smells like garbage, and the summer heat makes the odor cling. Dalton moves the gun from the man’s back to his neck.

“Take the folder,” Dalton says.

The light from the trunk is sufficient. Brotsky opens the folder, begins to page through several 8x10 photos of his two previous victims. He lingers on one that shows him grinning, holding up a severed leg. It’s Dalton’s personal favorite. Black and white really is the only way to go.

“I’m a school teacher,” Brotsky says with the barest trace of a Russian accent. “I don’t have much money.”

Dalton allows himself a small grin. He likes how Brotsky thinks. Maybe this will work out after all.

“I don’t want to blackmail you,” Dalton says. “My employer is a very important Chicago businessman.”

Brotsky sighs. “Let me guess. I slaughtered one of his whores, and now you’re going to teach me a lesson.”

“Wrong again, Victor Brotsky. See the lunch box in the corner of the trunk? Open it up.”

Brotsky follows the instructions. The box is filled with several stacks of twenty dollar bills. Three thousand in cash, total.

“What is this?” Brotsky asks.

“Consider it a retainer,” Dalton says. “My employer wants to hire you.”

“Hire me for what?”

“To do what you’re doing for free.” Dalton leans forward, whispers in Brotsky’s plump, hairy ear. “He wants you to kill some prostitutes.”

Brotsky turns around slowly, and his lips part in a smile. His breath is meaty, and he has a tiny bit

“This employer of yours,” Brotsky says. “I think I’m going to like working for him.”

Present day

2010, August 10

The rope secured my wrists behind my back and snaked a figure eight pattern through my arms, up to my elbows. Houdini with a hacksaw wouldn’t have been able to get free. I could flex and wiggle my fingers to keep my circulation going, but didn’t have a range of movement much beyond that.

My legs were similarly secured, the braided nylon line crisscrossing from my ankles to my knees, pinching my skin so tight I wished I’d worn pantyhose. And I hate pantyhose.

I was lying on my side, the concrete floor cool against my cheek and ear, the only light a sliver that came through a crack at the bottom of the far wall. All I had on was an oversized t-shirt, and my panties. A hard rubber ball had been crammed into my mouth. I was unable to dislodge it—a strap around my head held it in place. I probed the curved surface and winced when my tongue met with little indentations. Teeth marks. This ball gag had been used many times before.

My sense of time was sketchy, but I estimated I’d been awake for about fifteen minutes. The first few had been spent struggling against the ropes, trying to scream for help through the gag. The bindings were escape-proof, and my ankle rope secured me to a large concrete block, which I felt with my bare feet. It was impossible for me to roll away. The ball gag didn’t allow for more than a low moan, and after a minute or two I began to choke on my own saliva, my jaw wedged open too wide for me to swallow. I had to adjust my head so the spit ran out the corner of my mouth.

Based on the hollow echoes from my sounds, I sensed I was in a small, empty garage. Some machine—perhaps an air conditioner or dehumidifier—hummed tunelessly in the background. I smelled bleach, a bad sign, and under the bleach, traces of copper, human waste, and rotten meat. A worse sign.

Fighting panic and losing, I made myself focus on how I got here, how this happened. My memory was fuzzy. A hit on the head? A drug? I wasn’t sure. I had no recollection of anything leading up to this.

But between the smells and my past, I knew whoever abducted me was planning on killing me. I used to be a cop. Now I was in the private sector.

And this was definitely not the way I wanted to end my new career.

Twenty-one years ago

1989, August 15

I didn’t become a cop to do things like this.

The red vehicle pulled up and honked at me. It was one of those strange combinations of a car and a truck; I think they were called SUVs. This one said Isuzu Trooper on the fender. I found them to be too big and blocky, especially for an urban setting like Chicago. And with gas prices up to almost $1.20 a gallon, I doubted the trend would catch on.

The night was hot, humid as hell, and I was sweating even though I was nearly naked. My candy apple red lipstick kept smearing in the heat, forcing me to reapply it. I had the whole block to myself, having chased the other girls away earlier. I’d done them a favor; action was molasses slow. Plus, the city was eight days into a garbage strike, and the stink coming from the alley was a force of nature.

“Your call, Jackie,” my earpiece said. My partner, Officer Harry McGlade, waited in a vintage Mustang parked up the street.

“Aren’t you bored with this game yet?” I said into the microphone, which was hidden in my Madonna push-up bustier; an item that should have been worn under a top, not as a top. Jacqueline Streng, working girl. I reached inside the cup and readjusted my boob. The transmitter was the size of a pack of cigarettes, but harder and heavier, the sharp corners not meant to be wedged tight against delicate female anatomy. It hurt. The wires trailed up my bra strap, and to the earpiece, hidden by my Fredrick’s of Hollywood blonde Medusa wig.

“I’ll be bored when I’m actually ahead a few bucks,” Harry said. “Go on. Guess.”

I squinted at the guy behind the wheel. The street was dark, but he had his interior light on while he looked around for something. Possibly his wallet. Hopefully not a straight razor or an Uzi. He was Caucasian, late forties, balding, thick glasses. White collar, probably married with kids.

“BJ,” I said to Harry.

“Naw. I’m guessing something pervy.”

“He looks like a member of the PTA.”

“The clean-cut guys are always the perverts.”

“You said the weird-looking guys are always the perverts.”

“They’re pretty much all perverts. I’ll say foot fetishist.”

I actually didn’t know what a foot fetishist did. Something to do with feet, I assumed, but what? The Vice training manual didn’t explain that particular kink. I wasn’t about to ask Harry, because he’d make fun of me. It was hard enough being a female in the Chicago Police Department. Being a young female who did prostitution stings made me an easy target for potshots.

Not that I would be young for much longer. Today officially began the last year of my twenties. I was going to celebrate the happy occasion by watching TV and getting drunk. My boyfriend, Alan, was out of town on a business trip, and so far he’d neglected to get me anything. Big mistake. True, I didn’t want any reminders of my rapidly retreating youth. But we cops were big on intent. And forgetting your girlfriend’s birthday said a lot about your future intent.

Not that I had any intentions myself. His last name was Daniels, for chrissakes. I had a hard enough time getting respect on the Job. If my name was Jack Daniels, I’d be the laughing stock of the city.

“You in or out, Jackie?”

“Fine,” I said. “Ten-spot?”

“Make it twenty. I got a feeling.”

Bald Guy honked again. I pulled up the elastic top of one of my black fishnet stockings, pulled down the hem of my hot pink spandex micro-mini skirt, and walked over to the car on painfully high, strappy heels, trying to look sexy when I felt completely ridiculous. His window opened, and I stuck my head inside. The air conditioning bathed my face, cooling the sweat on my brow and upper lip.

“How are you tonight, sugar?” I asked, smacking my gum.

Bald Guy appeared nervous, jittery. Most of them did. Maybe because soliciting sex was embarrassing. Or maybe because they were worried that the hooker they propositioned was actually an undercover cop.

Imagine that.

“How much?” he asked without looking at me.

“How much what?” I asked.

“How much money?”

In order to make a clean arrest, and avoid the dreaded entrapment defense, the suspect had to be the one to bring up the subject of money. This guy cut right to the heart of the matter. Now he needed to mention what he wanted in exchange.

“Depends,” I said, playing coy. “What is it you’re looking for?”

“Something special. Can you quote me your, um, rates?”

“Sure. Head is ten. Straight is fifteen. Half-and-half is twenty. Round the world is thirty. Anything to do with feet is fifty.”

“No fair!” McGlade yelled in my ear. “You’re price-jacking!”

I hoped Bald Guy didn’t hear that, even though it was so loud my eyes bugged out.

“I’ve got kind of a strange request,” Bald Guy said.

I leaned in further. The air conditioning was wonderfully frigid, and the interior smelled like lemon air freshener. After four hours on the street, this was a little slice of heaven.

“Kinky is extra. Tell me what you need, big boy.”

“Actually, I’ll pay you fifty dollars if you just hold me for ten minutes.”

I blinked. “Hold you?”

He nodded, his face puppy dog sad.

“We can’t arrest him for that,” Harry said. “Ask him if he wants to suck your toes.”

I ignored Harry, which wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Especially with him in my ear. “That’s all?” I asked Bald Guy. “Just hold you?”

“That’s all.” His shoulders slumped. I felt kind of sorry for him.

“Tell him you’ve been on your feet all day,” Harry said, “and your toes are really sweaty and stinky.”

I wished I could turn the earpiece off.

“That’s kind of weird,” I told the guy. “Don’t you have a mother or an aunt or someone else who can give you a hug?”

“No one. I just got divorced, and I’m all alone.”

“How about friends? Neighbors? A church group?”

Bald Guy shook his head.

Harry said, “Try taking off your shoe and sticking your foot under his nose.”

“I just need a little tenderness,” Bald Guy said. “Will you do it?”

He looked so devastated, so desperate. Plus his vehicle was air-conditioned and smelled nice. What more prompting did I need? I walked around the front of his car/truck and climbed into the passenger seat.

“Dammit, Jackie! Find another john!” Harry, screaming in my ear. “There aren’t any laws against cuddling! Don’t waste our time!”

The earpiece really needed an off switch. In fact, so did Harry. The sad thing was, Harry wasn’t as bad as some of the other jerks I had to work with. What did a female cop have to do to earn the respect of her peers in this city?

I guessed it wasn’t dressing up as a hooker, hawking BJs.

“Okay,” I said. “One quick hug. On the house.”

I opened up my arms, ready to embrace this poor clod, and he handed me a latex glove. I backed off a notch.

“Are you sick?” I asked. “Contagious?”

“No, no, nothing like that. While you’re hugging me, I’d like you to stick your fingers up my bottom.”

No wonder he was divorced.

“And wiggle them,” he added.

“Mirandize that pervert,” McGlade said. “I’ll call the wagon and be right there.”

I opened my silver-sequined purse, reaching for my badge and handcuffs.

“I’m a police officer,” I said, making my voice hard, “and you’re under arrest for soliciting a sexual act. Put your hands on the steering wheel.”

Bald Guy turned bright red, then burst into tears. “I only wanted a little tenderness!”

“Place your hands on the steering wheel, sir. And for future reference, fingers up the wazoo really don’t qualify as tenderness.”

“I’m so lonely!” he sobbed.

“Buy a dog.” An unwelcome image popped into my head, of this pervert with some poor Schnauzer. “On second thought, that’s a bad idea.”

Bald Guy moaned, wiped his nose with his wrist, and then flung open his door and ran like hell. Which didn’t make much sense, considering that in jail he could probably find someone to fulfill his request for free.

“He bolted!” I yelled to Harry. “Coming your way!”

I pushed open my door and scrambled after him. Three steps into my pursuit I broke a heel and almost fell onto my face. I recovered in time, but my speed was drastically reduced. A penguin on stilts would have been faster and looked less clumsy. I wasn’t about to kick my broken pump off—this wasn’t the nicest part of town, and I didn’t want to step on a dirty needle.

“He ducked down the alley, Jackie!” Harry said. “It lets out on Halsted. Run around and block his exit!”

Easy for him to say. He was wearing gym shoes.

I rounded the corner, hobbling as fast as I could, my spandex skirt riding up and encircling my waist like a neon pink belt. My purse orbited my neck on its spaghetti strap, and each time it passed in front of my face I reached for it and missed. Inside was my Beretta 86, and I didn’t want to be charging into any alleys without it firmly in hand.

Honking, from the street. I wondered if it was the squadrol—a police wagon that picked up and booked the suspects we caught on this sting. No such luck. It was a carload of cute preppy guys. They hooted at me, pumping their fists in the air.

“What’s that sound?” Harry said. “You watching Arsenio?”

I skidded to a halt at the mouth of the alley, tugged down my skirt, and pulled out my Beretta.

The hooting stopped. I heard one of the preppies yell, “The whore is packing heat!” and their tires squealed, their car rocketing away.

“Where is he?” I said into the mic.

“If he didn’t come out on your side, he’s hiding in the alley somewhere.”

“I’ll meet you in the middle.”

“It’s dark. Don’t shoot me by mistake.”

Harry didn’t mean it to be condescending, but he wouldn’t have said it if I were a man. I set my jaw, gripped my weapon in both hands with my elbows bent and the barrel pointing skyward, and crept into the alley.

The decaying garbage odor got worse with every step, so bad I could taste it in the back of my throat. I moved slowly, letting my eyes sweep left and right, looking for any place Bald Guy could hide. I came up to a parked car, checked under it, behind it.

“Jesus, the stink is making my eyes water.” Harry said. “It smells like some fat guys with BO ate bad cheese and took a group shit on a rotting corpse.”

Harry wore so much Brut aftershave I was surprised he could smell anything.

“You’re a poet, McGlade.”

“Why? Did I rhyme something?”

I stuck my head into a shadowy doorway, didn’t find Bald Guy, and went deeper into the alley.

Then I heard the scream.

It came from ahead of me. A man’s voice, with a hollow quality to it.

Something horrible was happening to Bald Guy.

My whole body became gooseflesh. I just joined Vice two weeks ago. Even though I was still a patrol officer, and made the same pay, I jumped at the chance to wear plainclothes and ditch the standard uniform. But plainclothes turned out to be hooker-wear, and I felt especially vulnerable without my dress blues on. It wasn’t easy being tough when you were wearing a micro-mini.

Another scream ripped through the alley. The little girl in me, the one who still woke up scared during thunderstorms, wanted to turn around and run.

But if I gave in to my fear, Harry would mention it in the arrest report. Then it would be back to riding patrol and answering radio calls, where I got even less respect.

I forced myself to move forward. Now my gun was pointing in front of me, toward the direction of the sound. The Beretta was double action and protocol dictated it stayed uncocked. The harder pull meant fewer accidental shootings. Theoretically, at least. My finger was so tight on the trigger that a strong breeze would have caused me to fire.

“You see him?” Harry asked. I heard him in my earpiece, but I also heard him in the alley, somewhere ahead.

“Not yet.”

“Maybe he’s screaming because he can’t stand the smell.”

I didn’t think that was the case. I’d heard my share of screams on the Job. Screams of joy. Screams of sorrow. Screams of pain.

This was a scream of terror.

A clanging sound, only a few yards away from me. A Dumpster. I held my breath, heard whimpering coming from inside.

“He’s in a Dumptser,” I told Harry.

“Probably sitting in a big pile of rats.”

I approached quickly. It was dark, but I could see the Dumpster lid was open.

“This is the police!” I shouted, hoping my voice didn’t quaver. “Raise your hands up where I can see them!”

Bald Guy complied. But there was something wrong. Rather than two hands, I counted three.

I moved closer, and realized the third hand wasn’t his. It belonged to a woman.

And it wasn’t attached to the rest of her. Bald Guy was holding it, the look on his face pure horror.

I felt someone touch my shoulder and jumped back. It was Harry.

“Looks like he got you a birthday present, Jackie. Quite a handy guy.”

My stomach seized up, then I bent over and vomited, soaking my broken shoes and getting it caught in the fake curls hanging in front of my face. When I heaved for the final time, the transmitter popped free of my bustier and plonked into the puddle of puke.

“Happy twenty-ninth,” Harry said.

BIOGRAPHIES

BLAKE CROUCH is the author of DESERT PLACES, LOCKED DOORS, and ABANDON, which was an IndieBound Notable Selection last summer, all published by St. Martin’s Press. His newest thriller, SNOWBOUND, also from St. Martin’s, was released in June 2010. His short fiction has appeared in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, Thriller 2, and other anthologies, and is forthcoming in the new Shivers anthology and Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. Last year, he co-wrote “Serial” with J.A. Konrath, which has been downloaded over 250,000 times and topped the Kindle bestseller list for 4 weeks. That story and DESERT PLACES have also been optioned for film. Blake lives in Durango, Colorado. His website is www.blakecrouch.com.

JACK KILBORN is the pen name for J.A. Konrath, author of seven books in the Lt. Jack Daniels thriller series, the latest of which is SHAKEN. Under the Kilborn moniker, he wrote ENDURANCE, TRAPPED, and AFRAID, all structured in the same way as DRACULAS, but decidedly darker. Konrath currently has twenty-seven ebooks available on Kindle, most of them inexpensively priced. In 2011, Ace Books is releasing TIMECASTER and TIMECASTER SUPERSYMMETRY, two sci-fi ecopunk novels written under the nom de plume Joe Kimball. You can visit all of his personalities at www.jakonrath.com.

JEFF STRAND used to be best known as the creator of Andrew Mayhem, whose insane adventures appear in such horror/comedy novels as GRAVEROBBERS WANTED (NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY), SINGLE WHITE PSYCHOPATH SEEKS SAME, and CASKET FOR SALE (ONLY USED ONCE). But now he’s probably best known for his first “serious” book, PRESSURE, which was a Bram Stoker Award finalist for Best Novel. He’s written other comedic books (BENJAMIN’S PARASITE, THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE) and other serious books (DWELLER), and a couple that kinda blur the lines (WOLF HUNT, KUTTER). You can visit his Gleefully Macabre website at www.jeffstrand.com.

F. PAUL WILSON is a NY Times bestselling author of forty-plus novels who has won the Stoker, Inkpot, Porgie, and Prometheus Awards. His work spans science fiction, horror, adventure, medical thrillers, and virtually everything between. He has written for the stage, screen, and interactive media as well, and has been translated into 24 languages. His most famous novel, THE KEEP was adapted into a perfectly awful film by Michael Mann. His latest thrillers, GROUND ZERO and FATAL ERROR, star his urban mercenary, Repairman Jack. JACK: SECRET CIRCLES is the latest in a young-adult series starring a fourteen-year-old Jack. Paul resides at the Jersey Shore and can be found on the Web at www.repairmanjack.com.

BIBLIOGRAPHIES

F. Paul Wilson’s Works Available on Kindle

Repairman Jack novels

The Last Rakosh (free)

Legacies

Gateways

The Haunted Air

Hosts

Crisscross

Infernal

Harbingers

By the Sword

Ground Zero

Fatal Error

Jack: Secret Histories (young adult)

Jack: Secret Circles (young adult)

The Adversary Cycle

The Keep

The Touch

Reborn

The LaNague Federation series

An Enemy of the State

Dydeetown World

Wheels Within Wheels

The Tery

Healer

Other works

The Select

Implant

Deep as the Marrow

Sibs

Black Wind

Virgin

Midnight Mass (vampires)

DNA WARS with Matthew J. Costello

Mirage with Matthew J. Costello

Sims

The Fifth Harmonic

Aftershock & Others (collected stories)

Jeff Strand’s Works Available on Kindle

Andrew Mayhem novels

Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary)

Single White Psychopath Seeks Same

Casket For Sale (Only Used Once)

Suckers with J.A. Konrath

Other works

Benjamin’s Parasite

Pressure

Dweller

Gleefully Macabre Tales (collected stories)

How to Rescue a Dead Princess

Elrod McBugle on the Loose

Out of Whack

J.A. Konrath’s Works Available on Kindle

Jack Daniels thrillers

Whiskey Sour

Bloody Mary

Rusty Nail

Dirty Martini

Fuzzy Navel

Cherry Bomb

Shaken

Shot of Tequila

Banana Hammock

Jack Daniels Stories (collected stories)

SERIAL UNCUT with Blake Crouch

Suckers with Jeff Strand

Planter’s Punch with Tom Schreck

Floaters with Henry Perez

Truck Stop

Other works

Afraid

Endurance

Trapped

Origin

The List

Disturb

55 Proof (short story omnibus)

Crime Stories (collected stories)

Horror Stories (collected stories)

Dumb Jokes & Vulgar Poems

A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing

Blake Crouch’s Works Available on Kindle

Andrew Z. Thomas thrillers

Desert Places

Locked Doors

Other works

Abandon

Snowbound

Luminous Blue

Perfect Little Town (horror novella)

Serial Uncut with J.A. Konrath and Jack Kilborn

Bad Girl (short story)

Four Live Rounds (collected stories)

Shining Rock (short story)

*69 (short story)

On the Good, Red Road (short story)

Remaking (short story)

Exclusive Behind-the-Scenes Making of DRACULAS

This is an exclusive, spoiler-laden, behind-the-scenes look at the writing of DRACULAS. What follows is the chain of emails between Joe, Blake, Jeff, and Paul, from March 27, 2010 through October 2, 2010. This is our back-and-forth to one another as we worked on DRACULAS, detailing the entire writing process, who wrote what, things that were added, cut, switched, and editorial suggestions to each other. These emails were recreated exactly as they were written, so there are typos. This is essentially a window into our co-writing process. It will probably be boring for readers, but for writers interested in collaboration, it offers a peek behind the curtains of how we did it.

It begins with Joe emailing Jeff after confirming the project with Blake over the phone…

March 27, 2010

Jeff—

Our novella SUCKERS has made $$$ this month, and the month isn’t over yet.

In June, Amazon is doubling the royalty rate. Which means we’ll be making about $$$ per month, EACH, on Suckers.

We should do some other collaboration. Maybe a McGlade/Mayhem piece. Or perhaps an original Kindle novel.

I’ve got an idea that could be used for either.

Some scientists find Dracula’s bones in Transylvania (they know it’s Dracula because he’s got a stake in the heart and fangs.) Pulling out the stake does nothing. So they take the bones back home, and accidentally clone him.

Title: DRACULAS.

The word “vampire” has been used to death. But “Dracula” has not. And with PREDATORS coming this summer, adding an “S” to a known monster name makes perfect sense.

We could go the serious route, as an action horror book. Could go comedy. Could go McGlade and Mayhem.

Interested?

Joe

• • •

Holy crap. That’s a lot of frickin’ money for a book with spaghetti sauce as the primary plot driver.

Let me get back to you on the collaboration. You’re right—an original, “major” novel for the Kindle would make us a fortune, and if you had e-mailed me yesterday around noon I would’ve said “Absolutely!” And then I would have e-mailed you back rather sheepishly and said that I might not be able to commit, because my agent got an e-mail about a work-for-hire project that will be potentially huge and will very likely leave me with no free time until 2011.

Jeff

• • •

What if DRACULAS were split three ways? Blake Crouch is involved (he and I just sold movie rights to SERIAL, believe it or not.)

If each of us write 20k, we could do it fast, get it up in a month. That way there’s no big time commitment, and you can still meet your deadlines.

I’m thinking this can be somewhat tongue and cheek, but not satire. Sort of like the first Evil Dead movie. Think 28 Days Later with vampires. And none of that supernatural BS. Crosses, garlic, daylight; none of that stops them. Only way to kill them is to cut off the head. And these aren’t debonair, hypnotizing movie idols. No turning into bats or sleeping in coffins. These draculas are running, screeching, blood sucking dynamos.

We’re talking a balls-to-the-wall screaming vampire invasion novel. Rabid, feral, crazy bloodsuckers, draining everything that moves; people, dogs, cattle, each other. Once gets cut, spills its own blood, the others pounce on him.

Maybe we confine the action to a hospital out in a rural area. One of the doctors there somehow gets Dracula’s bones, does some experiments, suddenly there’s a dracula outbreak. Heroes are a soon-to-be mom and dad in labor in the maternity ward, a lumberjack recovering from a work injury, a nurse at her first week on the job, and a paranoid redneck cop.

Think about it…

Joe

• • •

Ah…so it would have been something like BLOOD DEVIL by Eli Roth & JA Konrath .

I’ve got an April 30 deadline for WOLF HUNT, so I won’t be able to work on anything else until that one’s finished. I know that they’d want me to get started on another project fairly soon after that, and right now I don’t know if it’s going to be a brutal deadline or a generous, leisurely one. So I’ll keep you posted. If you and Blake want to rush forward with DRACULAS, we’ll come up with another idea when my schedule is clear!

Jeff

• • •

Blake and I just spoke. He’s gung ho for going forward. We talked about some of the plotting and divvying up the workload. Basically, we’d each take a character in the hospital and follow them through the vampire outbreak. Maybe 20k words each separately, then bring the characters together for the finale. Structure it like AFRAID: character scene ending in a cliffhanger, go to the next character ending in a cliffhanger, go to the next…

This needs to be three people. I’m crazy busy as well, but I’m lucky to not have a day job.

I’d really prefer working with you before looking for another third partner…

Joe

• • •

I don’t know the timeframe on the new gig. It could very well be a case of “Can you deliver the manuscript in the next 12 months?” Or it could be “We need this by August and here’s a 350-page bible of rules that you need to follow to the letter, while still delivering a creative story with emotional depth and engaging characters, which must not contradict anything in the upcoming unfinished game.” But I can say for certain that until May 1st, there’ll be no DRACULAS work for me.

Jeff

• • •

Oh, poop.

Okay, now I gotta ask others. I’ll start with F. Paul Wilson. But when this gets made into a Wes Craven movie, remember I asked you first.

Joe

• • •

Heh heh. This is the only time in my life that somebody will come to me before F. Paul Wilson. Rest assured that this is a genuine recognition of the impossibility of cramming another 20,000 words into April and not a “Sorry, too busy!” style brush-off of the type I saw (Big Name Horror Author) give an editor at WHC, leading to the editor being red-faced, quiet, and mildly ashamed for the rest of the party.

Jeff

• • •

Has (Big Name Horror Author) published anything since (Well Known Book)?

Joe

• • •

Lots, you illiterate!

Jeff

• • •

I thought he was dead.

Joe

• • •

Well, that’s what happens when you turn 40—the memory and awareness of the world around you starts to fade, big-time.

(This will be only be funny for the next 7 1/2 months.)

Jeff

• • •

Who are you, again?

Joe

• • •

That guy you owe $50,000 for ghost-writing WHISKEY SOUR.

Jeff

• • •

I didn’t like that book. Mixing humor and horror is stupid.

Joe

• • •

Hi Paul—

Taking a complete shot in the dark here, but how’s your writing schedule? Got any free time?

Blake Crouch and I have this insane idea for a vampire novel that would be a cinch to write, and we’re looking for a third collaborator. Everyone does 20k words, split the rights 3 ways.

I know you’ve done vamps before, but this is really a different take on it, and the workload would be light for all involved, and also a lot of fun. Sort of like what you did with ARTIFACT, except more linear, and more commercial. And more violent.

The title: DRACULAS.

It’s a lot like 28 Days Later with fangs. Capitalizes on both the vampire and the zombie popularity currently fueling genre fiction, but with some big twists. Think Night of the Living Dead in a hospital setting.

As I said, this is a shot in the dark. I know you’re busy and in demand. I’ve got four book contracts right now (!), and I’m buried in work, but this idea won’t let me be. Problem is, I just don’t have time to write it alone.

Joe

March 29, 2010

Getting my head sorted out after WHC.

This sounds like fun as long as you don’t have too tight a deadline.

Paul

• • •

Jeff said he really can’t do it, so I asked F. Paul Wilson if he wants to join with us.

Here’s some preliminary thoughts:

Prologue, three newspaper clippings from a cheesy tabloid. Headlines:

“DRACULA’S SKULL UNEARTHED IN TRANSYLVANIA! A Romanian farmer uncovered a skull with unique properties while plowing his field near the town of Brasov. The relic, which appears to be ancient and human, has thirty two razor-sharp teeth where normal flat teeth would be.”

“VAMPIRE SKULL A HOAX?” Discovered by a farmer while sowing soybeans, the humanoid skull with sharp teeth is considered by many to be fake. Fueling this speculation is the farmer’s refusals to let scientists analyze the discovery, claiming it is embodies an ancient curse.”

“MILLIONAIRE BUY’S DRACULAS HEAD!” Eccentric recluse Mortimer Moorecook of Durango, Colorado, has apparently purchased the so-called Dracula skull from the Transylvanian farmer who unearthed it a week ago, for an undisclosed sum. It isn’t known what Moorecook, who made his fortune on Wall Street during the late 80s, plans to do with the skull, though many are hoping it will be turned over to scientists for study. Moorecook was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, and couldn’t be reached for comment.”

Chapter 1

Moorecook gets the skull shipped to him. He’s a collector of vampire memorabilia, and on hand is an historian who had studied vampire legends. When the box arrives, Moorecock cradles the head in his sickly hands—then bites himself in the neck with the fangs. He immediately goes into convulsions. The historian calls the paramedics, who take him to the secluded Miskatonic Hospital a few miles away.

Chapter 2

New nurse first week. Cancer ward. Hates seeing all the dying, but likes the job and needs the money for her sick mother, who’s a patient there.

Chapter 3

Husband and expectant mother hurry to hospital while she’s in labor. Twins. Could be a long labor and complications.

Chapter 4

Lumberjack hurt in accident, recovering from chainsaw injury. Twenty five stitches. He’s so tough he drove himself to the hospital, so his truck—filled with axes and chainsaws—is parked in the lot.

Chapter 5

A gung-ho good ole boy gun-crazy cop (think Kevin Kostner from Silverado) is the boyfriend of the historian. Meets her at the hospital (To propose? Has ring on him?)

Alternate POVs (including draculas), chapters end in cliffhangers. No way to get out of the hospital because they spread too fast and knew enough to shred the tires on all the vehicles outside. Vamps also destroyed phone system. Hospital has a “no cell phone” rule and blocks the use of cells with a jammer.

Dracula rules:

All of their teeth (not just canines) grow long and sharp, so big they shred through their lips and cheeks.

Claws grow. Able to see in dark. Can smell blood like sharks.

Must drink blood every hour, or they die. Any blood: animal, human, blood banks. If one of them is cut and bleeds, the others turn on him and devour him. Lick up every drop off the floor and walls. Fight over bones to get the marrow.

Without blood, they autocannibalize themselves, sucking their own blood.

An hour to mutate. No cure.

No vampire gimmicks. Crosses, sunlight, garlic, stakes—nothing kills them but fire and beheading. No turning into bats or mesmerizing victims.

These are rabid dogs with bigger teeth. They exist only to drink blood. Rudimentary, childlike thoughts, and some problem solving abilities, but no speech (can’t with teeth so big) and no humanity or sense of their former selves.

Joe

• • •

More possible scenes:

Millionaire being rescued at the end because they think he’s normal: reverse NOTLD.

Lumberjack ripping a stitch. All the draculas nearby start sniffing the air and screaming.

Lumberjack and cop in a fist fight. Deadly, because if either of them spills blood, they’ll be stampeded.

Birth scene, woman in labor, fighting off draculas who smell it happening.

Joe

• • •

Did Paul write back and say “Dude, the occasional short stories are okay, but please don’t forget that I created…REPAIRMAN JACK!!!”

Jeff

• • •

Paul’s in.

Joe

• • •

Wow. Congrats!

If the project gets stalled and you find yourselves on May 1st still ready to get going, let me know!

Jeff

• • •

May 1 might be doable for a start date if you can commit. Me, you, Blake, and Paul. Blake and I are working on an outline.

Joe

• • •

Okay, I can commit to a May 1st start date! I’m in!

Jeff

April 1, 2010

Jeff Strand says he’s in, as long as we don’t get started until May 1.

So we have our team. :)

Joe

May 7, 2010

Hey guys—

Here are the preliminary rules for DRACULAS. We have four authors: JA Konrath, F. Paul Wilson, Blake Crouch, Jeff Strand.

Everyone will be responsible for 15k words. Blake and Joe will be responsible for the set-up and the finale (though the finale will be based on everyone’s input.)

The main idea for the story is a simple one: Night of the Living Dead in a rural hospital in Durango, Colorado, with vampires.

The idea for collaboration is equally simple. There will be four sets of protagonists. Each of the writers will take them through the vampire outbreak in the hospital. The chapters will be short, and end in cliffhangers. Then, when we’re putting the book together, we’ll alternate chapters. This is an ensemble piece with multiple heroes all battling the same evil in different wings of the hospital.

Here’s what we have as far as a set-up, rules, and characters. Jeff and Paul can each decide first which character arc they’d like to write for.

Whether you want your characters to survive or not is up to you. The very finale will be a reverse Night of the Living Dead ending. Instead of killing the hero thinking he’s infected, one of the infected will be mistaken for human and removed from the hospital by rescuers, presumably to go on and infect the world.

This is a fast-paced, visceral book done in real time with a lot of action set-pieces based on deconstructing vampire myths. More on that in a moment. Here’s the set up:

Prologue, three newspaper clippings from a cheesy tabloid. Headlines:

“DRACULA’S SKULL UNEARTHED IN TRANSYLVANIA! A farmer in Romania uncovered a skull with unique properties while plowing his field near the town of BRasov. The relic, which appears to be ancient and human, has thirty two razor-sharp teeth where normal flat teeth would be.”

“VAMPIRE SKULL A HOAX?” Discovered by a Romanian farmer, the humanoid skull with sharp teeth is considered by many to be fake. Fueling this speculation is the farmer’s refusals to let scientists analyze the discovery, claiming it is embodies an ancient curse.”

“MILLIONAIRE BUY’S DRACULAS HEAD!” Eccentric recluse Mortimer Moorecook of Durango, Colorado, has apparently purchased the so called Dracula skull from the Transylvanian farmer who unearthed it a week ago, for an undisclosed sum. It isn’t known what Moorecook, who made his fortune on Wall Street during the late 80s, plans to do with the skull, though many are hoping it will be turned over to scientists for study. Moorecook was recently diagnosed with lung cancer, and couldn’t be reached for comment.”

Chapter 1

Moorecook gets the skull shipped to him. He’s a collector of vampire memorabilia, and on hand is an historian who had studied vampire legends. When the box arrives, Moorecock cradles the head in his sickly hands—then bites himself in the neck with the fangs. He immediately goes into convulsions. The historian calls the paramedics, who take him to the secluded Miskatonic Hospital a few miles away.

Shortly after being admitted, Moorecock begins to transform into a vampire. He attacks the staff, and begins the spread the infection.

Chapter 2

New nurse, her first week on the job. She’s stationed in the cancer ward, which she prefers; that way she can spend time with her mother, who is in the ward dying of cancer.

Chapter 3

A husband and wife in the maternity ward. She’s in labor, expecting twins.

Chapter 4

A lumberjack, recovering from a chainsaw accident. His truck is parked outside, filled with axes, saws, and other useful tools.

Chapter 5

A good ole boy cop, who is the boyfriend of the historian. He’d been planning on asking her to marry him that day, and meets her at the hospital to do so. He’s a gun nut.

Chapter 6-Chapter 30

We alternate POVs, following each group of characters as the outbreak goes from some isolated incidents to a full-blown hospital takeover.

Vampire Rules

These aren’t brooding, charismatic charmers. These are feral pyschopaths who exists only to gorge themselves on blood.

After mutating, their teeth grow long and sharp. All of their teeth (not just their canines), and they extend so big they shred through their own lips and cheeks.

Claws grow. Able to see in dark. Can smell blood like sharks. Strong and fast, but no other supernatural abilities, and no trace of humanity left.

The draculas must drink blood every hour, or they die. Any blood. If one of them is cut and bleeds, the others turn on him and devour him. Lick up every drop off the floor and walls. Fight over bones to get the marrow.

Without blood, they autocannibalize themselves, sucking their own blood until they die.

It takes less than an hour to mutate.

No vampire gimmicks. Crosses, sunlight, garlic, stakes—nothing kills them but fire and beheading and blood draining. No turning into bats or mesmerizing victims.

No humanity, no higher thinking. These are rabid dogs with bigger teeth. They exist only to drink blood. Rudimentary, childlike thoughts. Problem solving skills and cooperation, but this dissipates the hungrier they become.

Blake and I have also got some set-pieces we’d like included in the story: big scenes that will be a lot of fun to write. I’ll let him describe those…

Joe

May 8, 2010

I kinda like the gun-nut cop…like many gun nuts, he’s something of a gunsmith and he customizes weapons…he’s off-duty and was on his way to a gun show with a trunkful of all his super-cool heat. He was going to take the historian along so he could propose to the woman he loves most among the things he loves most. His guns have been keeping them apart - she hates them. But she’s going to learn to LOVE them.

Paul

• • •

I’ll take the lumberjack, unless Joe or Blake desperately want him.

This sounds like a hell of a lot of fun. Good work, you two. Pat each other on the back…violently.

Jeff

• • •

Mornin’ Fellas - I talked with Joe, and I’ll take the pregnant couple (my daughter was born just a year ago, so I’m still pretty close to the birthing experience)…Joe will have the nurse/mother dying of cancer.

I wanted to list out some big set pieces Joe and I have talked about:

(1) We imagined this scene where, initially, Moorecook goes into the ER convulsing, and then goes ape-shit and bites everything in sight, essentially killing 3 people and a seeing-eye dog. Hospital staff is freaking out, they put the dead in the refrigerated morgue drawers to isolate them while they wait for the CDC to show up…There’s a beat of “whooo, disaster averted, let’s call the CDC, and someone on staff at the morgue late at night, suddenly hears four metal doors begin to rattle, and then this awful screaming coming from the drawers, which begin to be kicked out.

(2) A woman undergoing a blood transfusion wakes to see a dracula slurping down the contents of her blood bag

(3) A nurse running in terror, tries to get to the hospital chapel, thinking she’ll be saved. 30 draculas flood in, shattering the safe in a church/with a cross myth.

(4) As Joe mentioned, end of book, a 28-year-old we’ve never seen before is saved…this is Moorecook, who has glutted himself on enough blood to return to this eternally-youthful undead state which was his goal from the beginning…

(5) a blind man who’s seeing eye dog has been bitten by Moorecook is trying to find his dog, who is now a dracula dog and turns on him.

(6) a character hears what sounds like gunshots out in the parking lot, looks out the window, sees a pack of draculas going through the parking lot, shredding tires.

(7) I think it’d be funny if either Paul’s or Jeff’s semi-redneck character always calls these things draculas instead of vampires.

A little about the mentality of the draculas: Of course, they’re voracious for blood, b/c on some primal level, they know the more blood they drink, they might return to their previous state. No blood in an hour = death. Imagine they need it like we need oxygen.

In addition to the character ARCS we’ve all chosen, we each take one of the initial people bitten by Moorecook, so we each have a dracula POV. I’ll take Moorecook, Joe wants to take a child, the dog doesn’t count…Jeff & Paul let me know what person you want to take and I’ll make sure Moorecock bites your guy/gal in the ER…in terms of the dracula POV, I really don’t want to say too much about it. It shouldn’t be too extensive, but I think we should all at least play around with writing a scene or two from a dracula POV and seeing what we come up with.

I’m going to write the opening, up to the point where everyone can begin their character’s arcs…I think when you see what I’ve done, where I’ve left it off, it will make sense.

Peace!

Blake

• • •

Paul, you’ll do great with the cop/gun nut.

Jeff, the lumberjack is all you. One thing I was thinking about his character is his chainsaw injury is on the back of his leg. And everyone who meets him is like, “How did you cut the back of your leg, dumb ass?” This actually happened to a buddy of mine.

Blake is going to take the pregnant couple. He’s also writing the set-up scene. Here’s the basic idea:

Once Moorecook is taken to the ER, he goes nuts and bites three people in the waiting room, ripping out their throats. These three are taken to the morgue, put in the meatlocker drawers. CDC is called to come look at a potential outbreak, but they’re several hours away.

Then, a morgue attendant hears scratching from one of the drawers. Then two of the drawers. Then three. The scratching turns to pounding. The draculas, oblivious to pain, break and smash their own bodies bursting out of the drawers.

Blake is going to follow Moorecook as a dracula. But Joe, Paul, and Jeff will each follow one of these newly created draculas. So we all get to start our own mini-epidemic in the hospital, however we want.

In other words, we each write for a main POV character, and various secondary characters we create, including one of the draculas who wreaks havoc on our characters. Dracula POV is fine, as long as we agree on the ground rules for the creature’s thought processes.

Let Blake and I know the type of dracula you want as your main villain. My dracula will be a twelve year old kid. You need to each pick a bad guy character.

Another note—Moorecook is the alpha male, and retains the most of his intelligence. He’s going to destroy the phone junction boxes, and eventually also the electricity in the hopsital.

This is a newer hospital, so it is set up with cell phone jammers, like modern airplanes. No one will be able to use their cell phone.

Paul’s cop will be able to use his radio in his car (which is loaded with weapons) but he’ll have to get outside in order to do it, and I predict the hospital will fill up with draculas pretty quickly, and these things are HARD to kill.

The hospital is isolated. Ten miles from anything. Once the epidemic starts, it hits fast and hard—no one has time to get away. The only remaining survivors after the initial onslaught are the ones hiding in their rooms. Moorecook also directs some of the other draculas to cruise the hospital parking lot and pop tires on all the vehicles.

A note on how this will work: we all need to turn in pages as we write them. That was, we can cross into each other’s stories. One thing we envisioned was the cop had arrested the lumberjack in the past, and when they meet up, they are hostile to one another. They would even begin to fight. This would freak out the cop’s girlfriend (the historian) because if either of them spill even a tiny drop of blood—a cut lip, a busted knuckle—the draculas will be able to smell it from another floor and they’ll swarm on them.

I’ve got two books to write by July 6. But I will have time in June to start cranking on this. Worst case scenario, I’ll bat clean-up, and weave my story into the three that you guys do.

Blake is taking the lead on this one. When we’ve got a rough draft, we’ll all have a chance to streamline and edit and expand.

Joe

• • •

(Virtual rubbing of hands) This is going to be FUUUUUUUUN!

Paul

• • •

Paul - what’s your gun toter’s name?

Blake

• • •

Joe - give a call when you gave a moment. I have a question about our mythology (and also an idea).

Blake

• • •

I didn’t have the historian/forensic anthropologist get into the mythology of dracula in the opening chapter because I think it slow things down too much…there will time for her to wax eloquent about the myth and what exactly she’s doing for Mortimer in a breather between terrifying scenes in the hospital.

Blake

• • •

Nicely done! Great start. I’m going to make it a tad bit more serious (An edge of black humor is good, but I don’t want anyone to think this is parody or comedy), then do Shanna’s section.

Can you sign in to Dropbox.com, make a DRACULAS folder, then send invites to me, Paul, and Jeff and explain to them how it works? Then I’ll drop the file in.

Make four Word Doc templates titled BLAKE, JOE, JEFF, PAUL and put those in the folder. That way we can all work on our sections at the same time.

Joe

• • •

LOL, I just created a Draculas folder. Did you create one as well?

Did the second chapter. Third chapter is mine, in the hospice nurse’s POV. She’ll be the ex wife of the lumberjack.

This is gonna rock.

Joe

• • •

Great edits to my opening, btw.

Blake

• • •

Thanks. Jenny is going to go into the ER, and call Randall, her lumberjack ex-husband who is recovering from a chainsaw injury. During the call, Moorecook will escape the gurney and bite several people to death before being restrained.

Then everyone will do their character intro chapters. Then we do the morgue scene where the draculas come to life. Then we’re off…

Joe

May 9, 2010

How does Clayton Theel sound?

Paul

• • •

So you’ll write the Moorecook losing his shit scene from Jenny’s POV in the ER? Cool. I’ll write the morgue scene.

Blake

• • •

All - so Paul’s cop character is Clayton Theel (great name)…I think we called the lumberjack Randall for now, unless Jeff wants to change him to something else. Clayton’s girlfriend is Shanna, the historian/anthropologist. Jenny, hospice nurse, is the lumberjack’s ex.

Jeff and Paul, all we need to complete the setup is a brief description of your character who comes into the ER and gets themselves bitten by Mortimer Moorecook. Maybe mention what ailment brought them to the ER. This will be your Dracula you get to reek havoc with, so go nuts.

Blake

• • •

Howzabout I use the ER doc Kurt Lanz, MD (“No, not ‘Kurt’ — Doctor Lanz.”) on duty who thinks he’s hot shit and too good for this lame community hospital and all these hicks he’s got to deal with? When he first changes he’s sure he can control the blood thirst because he’s a superior being, but he’s so wrong. And then he gets into it.

I’d also like to add to Shanna’s POV in 2 that she’s going to break it off with Clay before the gun show - she can’t take another gun show.

Paul

• • •

I love it, Paul. I don’t know if I can do this in my Moorecook dracula POV (because he’s higher-functioning than the people he infects) but I dig the idea of showing, through a dracula POV, the mental crumbling as these intelligent adults begin to lose their high cognitive functioning abilities.

Blake

• • •

That works for me, Paul.

We need to figure out if draculas die like zombies, then mutate into monsters, or if they only mutate when they get bitten and survive.

Joe

• • •

I have an answer to my own question.

If someone is bitten and lives, they become a dracula. Not as drastically as Moorecook did (he was bitten by the source, which is more virulent), but they mutate over the course of half an hour, losing their mental facilities as they change.

Those who are killed by draculas also come back to life if there is enough of them still intact and they still have enough blood left. Maybe an hour time frame to reanimate the dead tissue.

This way, we can follow certain characters becoming draculas, and also have a surprise morgue scene where the dead also become draculas, adding to the outbreak.

Joe

• • •

Just read your additions, Paul. Expertly done, you tying together four main characters, and amusing as well.

This is gonna kick ass.

Joe

• • •

Randall sounds good for my lumberjack (and I’ll make him responsible for calling them “draculas” instead of “vampires.”)

My dracula is Benny, a children’s performer clown whose magic show was poorly received by the birthday boy. Randall and Benny bond over the embarrassing nature of their injuries.

Since Joe is mean and impatient, I’ll say upfront that I won’t be able to start writing until the 17th, but I’ll launch right into it like a maniac after that!

Jeff

• • •

Dracula clown. Awesome. I’ll put Benny and Dr. Kurt in the massacre scene. I should be able to knock that out in a day or two.

I won’t be able to go full-force on this until June. So if Blake and Paul want to get going, go for it. Just keep me and Jeff in the loop.

Joe

• • •

Ditto…super-cool, Paul. Can’t wait to see what toys Clay brings to the party.

Blake

• • •

Joe’s also a selfish lover, let’s not forget that.

A dracula clown? I’m scared of normal clowns. That’s awesome!

Blake

• • •

Joe - when you get the ER massacre done, I’ll work on the morgue and maybe we can have the setup done in a few days…I’m working on a couple other projects, but I should be able to get a little of this in every day. Helps that it’s a blast to write.

Blake

• • •

Jeff, please use my favorite line about clowns. The birthday boy said, “That’s not a clown! That’s just some guy dressed up like a clown!”

Paul

• • •

That may very well be the best line of all time…

Jeff

May 10, 2010

I think my characters will be Adam and Stacie Murray. Stacie’s in the hospital to be induced for her first pregnancy - twins. They’re sort of a young, gentle, bright-eyed couple. Around 30. Stacie is a high-school English teacher on maternity leave and Adam is a Lutheran minister. He’s been in Durango about 5 years, and recently took over a church. Sometimes he serves as the hospital chaplain. He knows Randall and Clayton. Maybe he’s even tried to help Randall in the past when he’s gone on a drunken tear. I do like the idea a lot that this is a small town, and all these characters not only know each other, but have history.

Blake

• • •

He’ll be very disappointed when crosses don’t work.

Paul

• • •

Yeah, I’m sensing a crisis of faith coming…

Blake

May 12, 2010

…Deputy Theel will be bringing to the party: http://world.guns.ru/grenade/gl15-e.htm

It’s going to be loaded with his custom 40mm Beehive rounds filled with 00buck. So we’re going to need LOTS of draculas. Be great to have a situation where one of your characters is facing absolutely hopeless odd and then there’s this horrendous racket and the draculas’ heads are being shredded…and Clay rounds a corner with this baby.

Of course he’s eventually going to run out of ammo.

Paul

• • •

Nice.

He should have one of these too.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/78284/automatic_shotgun/

Joe

• • •

The famous “streetsweeper.”

Paul

• • •

Well, my priest has a can of really intense mace from his wife’s purse. Take that, vampire!

Blake

May 31, 2010

I’m thinking we need a throughline. You know, a progression of story beats for the big picture — how it’s gonna go. Or maybe just a timeline so that we know what’s going on with the big picture and we can plug into that.

What’s the time span of the novel? 4 hours? 5? 6?

For instance…(this is just placeholder stuff):

Hour 1: carnage in the ER

Hour 2: the first victims change and begin to attack; no one aware of he threat except new victims

Hour 3: 20 Draculas now and rising - panic spreads; tires slashed; phones dead (how do we kill cells?)

See where I’m going? It will save a lot of editing and rewriting later if we’re all on the same page re the timing.

Paul

• • •

Agreed.

I’m still cranking on deadlines, but hope to get started on this soon—perhaps July?

Joe

June 11, 2010

Blake is visiting me for a few days in July. We’re going to hammer out the timeline and first attack scene, then everyone can get rolling on their story arcs.

Joe

• • •

Poor, poor Blake.

Jeff

• • •

I’m also forcing Blake to wear a dress and dance the Lambada—the dance of love.

But “forcing” may be too strong a term…

Joe

August 11, 2010

Hey Dude - you want me to take a shot at finishing the ER scene in Draculas? I’m in between projects and have the time at the moment. Let me know.

Blake

• • •

Sure, give it a shot.

Joe

August 15, 2010

Paul & Jeff & Joe: Howdy, boys. Hope summer’s been good to you. I’ve finished a project I was working on, and have finally had a chance to devote some time to Draculas and try to get us all set up to do this. I visited Joe in July and we worked on the ER scene together. I’ve just now wrapped it up, and I think Draculas is at a point where we can all begin working on it together. I’ve dropped an updated manuscript in the dropbox.

To recap, here are the characters/draculas we’re following:

Blake: Mort dracula/my pregnant couple in the maternity ward Adam and Stacie Murray

Joe: Oasis dracula/Nurse Jenny (Randall’s ex-wife)

Jeff: Benny the Clown dracula/Randall the Lumberjack

Paul: Dr. Lanz dracula/Clayton “Deputy Dawg”, Shanna’s boyfriend

As we get close to launching into this, I’m finding it a challenge to coordinate everyone’s movement and the timing of the outbreak. As Paul pointed out, this is going to take a little more forethought if we don’t want to do major rewrites at the end (I don’t - :).

I think it’s a smart thing to divide this book out by hour increments. It’ll make it easier on us keeping things straight and also be a cool thing for readers since this is essentially written in real time.

Here’s a basic outline through the start of Hour 3, totally up for debate and changing and input, but just to get us going. Please let me know what you think…if everyone is good on this outline through 9 chapters, let’s start writing…

HOUR 1

Ch.1 — (WRITTEN) Mortimer’s POV receives skull, bites himself, convulses.

Ch.2 — (WRITTEN)Shanna’s POV riding with Mort to the hospital.

HOUR 2

Ch.3 — (WRITTEN) Jenny’s POV: ER massacre, ending with Benny the Clown, Oasis’ mother, and other ER patients killed by Mort (5 dead), and Oasis, Lanz, and the ambulance paramedic bitten/infected. Mort has run off into the hospital.

Ch.4 (LANZ-PAUL) — Massacre aftermath (brief downtime). I think this should be written in Lanz’ infected POV. At first, he’s okay, he’s barking orders. For all he knows, this is some kind of outbreak. Get the dead into the morgue. Get CDC on the horn. Quarantine those who were bitten (paramedic/Oasis). He’ll talk with them. Call the sheriff’s department. He ingested some blood foam, but wasn’t bitten. By end of this chapter, perhaps while he’s examining Oasis, he’s becoming a dracula, and that should be a blast to write.

Ch.5(RANDALL-JEFF) what I’m thinking is, he limps outside to his truck and gets one of his huge chainsaws or axes or whatever (go nuts on this), and then returns while the ER is dealing with the aftermath/cleanup and goes off to find Mortimer dracula who fled the ER into the rest of the hospital chasing the softball players — Randall gets himself into another wing. This is a short chapter…Jeff think about where you want Randall when outbreak reaches critical mass. This is our first intro to him in his POV, too, so we should probably get a sense of how he feels about Jenny.

Ch.6(JENNY-JOE) she’s assisting with helping the ER wounded, and maybe by the end of this she sees the changes that are happening in the infected and runs off into some distant part of the hospital to hide. Short chapter

Ch.7(MORGUE/OUTBREAK-BLAKE) Just before all hell breaks loose, nurse Winslow in the morgue, and the doors start rattling. Oh shit. The dead are back as draculas, the injureds’ metamorphoses is complete, and it’s a free for all. I could see us combining POV’s in this chapter, showing Lanz, Oasis, Mort and others going berserk, taking out entire wings, drinking from blood bags, etc., maybe cutting the power). I can write most of this, but would love to have short bits from Oasis, Lanz, and Benny the Clown to incorporate.

Note — the trick is realizing there are several stages building up to full scale draculas running amok: 1st, just Mort, and his ER rampage; then the rampage of about 10 draculas who Mort infected; then, when their victims come alive, it’s like 40 or 50 and we’re off.

HOUR 3

Ch.8(PREGNANT COUPLE — BLAKE) This just introduces them. They hear chaos all around them. She’s in early stages of labor.

Ch.9 Arrival of Clayton fuck’n Theel. He’s come to pick up Shanna (who’s somewhere hiding in the hospital by this point and hasn’t been answering her cell), but something’s wrong…the hospital’s dark, he hears screaming going on inside. Earlier he heard a call about an ER disturbance but this is clearly serious. In he goes. Probably with some ridiculous gun.

Honestly, I think after chapter 9 we’re truly set up to play around with our characters. And keep in mind that the 40+ dracula outbreak hasn’t arrived yet.

So, to take it to the next stage, Joe writes chapter 6

I’ll write 7 and 8

Jeff writes 5

Paul writes 4 and 9

Everyone also write a scene with your draculas becoming draculas. Joe, I can’t remember, are you writing Oasis or another child? I remember something about a blind girl and her seeing eye dog becoming a dracula and turning on her, but that just sounded mean, even for you ;), which means I hope you write it.

Two more things…re: outside help coming to the hospital. We establish it’s in the middle of nowhere (as it truly is in Durango where I live) and I think it’d be cool if the sherrifs deputies (like 6 or 7) showed up during hour 3 or 4, and got themselves wiped out in the parking lot while the draculas were slashing tires, so then no one comes for awhile, and when they do, a respectable perimeter is set up. I just don’t think there is any way we can make it that no word gets out that something terrible is going down. BUT…cell phones stay jammed, even after power is lost.

When this round of chapters is in, Joe and I can go through and smooth everything out, and we’ll see where we are. In the meantime, I’ll also try to put together a good hospital map, and float around a timeline for the rest of the book with major beats…sound good?

As I worked on this today, I realized we aren’t going to reach a point where we all just go off and write in isolation for 15K words. I think we’re all going to have to sort of address the same period of time concurrently and stay in constant contact, making sure everything jives before moving on. Should be challenging and fun.

Could I get a best guess of when you guys could get Joe and I these 1st round of chapters? Sorry for the delay in getting this going, but I think we’re ready to roll now. Should be a blast.

Peace!

Blake

• • •

Okay, I just did a fer-real LOL. Mortimer crouched, then leapt after them, soaring five meters into the breezeway. As the doors slid closed, Jenny heard the most God-awful screaming and Benny the Clown shouting, “No! I’m getting bitten! Again!”

Paul

• • •

I just turned the gist of this into a Word file (“Timeline”) for the drop box so it will be easier to access.

Haven’t read it yet.

This comes at a pretty good time for me. Looking forward to digging in.

Paul

August 16, 2010

Thanks, Blake! Looks like you’ve been working your ass off on this!

I’m having dinner with Mr. Konrath on Wednesday, and we’re going to work out the relationship between our dating characters. So I’ll probably have my chapter done shortly after that, probably on Friday.

Jeff

August 17, 2010

This is a really great opening.

By my count, here’s who’s contaminated by the end of what’s written:

Mortimer

EMT (bitten)

Oasis (bitten)

Oasis’s mom (dead)

Benny (dead)

Dr. Lanz (tasted bloody foam)

Softball #1 (assumed wounded?)

Softball #2 (assumed wounded?)

(I added a line to the bottom of pg 16 to cover Lanz tasting some of Mort’s bloody foam.)

I’ll have Winslow do triage and Lanz start treating who he can. The softballers will die which will mean 4 in the morgue. I can bring a few more victims in from the floors to raise the total contaminated to 10. Since Lanz’s inoculum will be the smallest, I’ll make him the last to turn at the end of the chapter.

Any additions, suggestions, corrections?

Paul

• • •

Paul this sounds great…

Re: dead v. wounded…what about having the softballers massively wounded. For some reason, overweight vampires in softball uniforms strike me as pretty terrifying. But if Mortimer could have killed four others elsewhere and they’re brought to the ER, that would raise the dead count to 6 and make for an appropriately loud number of dead in the morgue lockers.

Additionally, I would hit these points in your chapter for setup purposes…Mortimer is missing now in the hospital. You might mention Lanz seeing Randall limping off into the hospital carrying a chainsaw (love this image). Joe’s Jenny chapter and Jeff’s Randall chapter, which directly follow this one, can deal with Jenny trying to stop Randall but by God he’s gonna take care of this. An important moment b/c they’ll be separated and trying to get back together I would think. I would end this chapter with Lanz turning and maybe noticing others turning. One character we should keep track of is Shanna. Perhaps Lanz, still fighting the change in himself, scares her and she takes off. And if you could have Lanz send Winslow off to the morgue to make sure the dead were properly stowed away, that will set up my next chapter. Can’t wait to read this!

I’ll start outlining the outbreak chapter to send around.

Blake

August 18, 2010

Spitballing here:

Is Mort going to be the alpha dracula, with some influence over the others? If so, Lanz, with his ego, might want to challenge that after things get rolling. (After all, it’s my hospital.) Might be a good plot complication - everything’s going the draculas’ way when there’s an attempted coup.

Paul

• • •

I like Lanz trying to become alpha dracula, but let’s remember these things are feral with only rudimentary thought processes—think Matheson’s Born of Man and Woman, but not as smart.

I just did a minor polish on what we have so far, tweaking and fixing some repetitive words. I’m meeting with Jeff tonight to talk about our characters’ interactions.

I don’t think this will take as much coordination as Blake does. As long as the major beats are down (when the cops come, when the electricity goes out, etc.) we should be able to write four relatively self-contained stories.

Mine will be Jenny the nurse searching for her ex-husband, Randy, and trying to save as many survivors as possible. She’ll start with the pediatric wing. Her nemesis is Oasis, the girl.

Paul is writing for Clayton, Shanna, and Lanz. Clayton’s goals will be to find Shanna, and kill as many draculas as possible. This is the end-of-the-world scenario he’s been preparing for since his dad built a bomb shelter and taught him about survival.

Blake is doing the pregnant couple, in the maternity ward. It would make sense that Moorecook wants to make a dracula army, but babies wouldn’t really play a part in that. So he and his brood would use infants for food. I’d guess that Blake’s heroes would try to prevent that.

Jeff’s lumberjack, Randall, will be searching for Jenny. Perhaps a side quest will have him trying to turn the electricity back on—he’s a handyman-type. He’ll eventually have a confrontation with Clayton, which should be an important scene because if either of them spill any blood during their tussle, the draculas will sniff them out.

I’m thinking 15k words each. We could conceivably finish our sections by the end of the month, then string it together. Remember to write in your own named files, not in the DRACULAS 1.3 file.

This is going to be fun. And let’s pile on the Gran Guignol. This is the anti-Twilight, and a chance to really let loose our inner gorehounds.

Joe

• • •

Paul — I was going to say pretty much what Joe said—let’s try it but make sure we keep these draculas on a single-minded, low-functioning level. Mort is the head dracula, since he was bitten by the original skull and as a result will undergo some interesting changes the more yummy blood he gulps down. But let’s see where the power struggle takes us. I’ll keep an eye on Lanz’ progression through the hospital as you write him and we’ll have our draculas collide.

Blake

• • •

As I said, just spitballing - if it don’t stick to the wall, we leave in on the floor.

Paul

• • •

All - I just dropped the morgue scene in chapter 7 into the box. I was thinking that chapter could handle Winslow’s pov, along with all our draculas on the loose, so feel free to add Oasis, Lanz, and Benny the Clown pov’s into that word doc.

Blake

August 19, 2010

As I’m writing I find I need basic info — like where we are and last names. (unless I missed something.)

Where IS Blessed Crucifixion?

I gave Jenny “Bolton” as a placeholder surname. I’d guess Randall’s is the same.

Kurt Lanz

Clay Theel

Mortimer Moorecook

Nurse Winslow

what about Shanna?

Paul

• • •

Sorry…that went out prematurely. I spotted Durango in chapter 1 (long time since I read it). But people often refer to each other by last names, so…

Paul

• • •

Paul, effin’ loved your scene. Black humor, great characters, A few quick suggestions.

1. Can the paramedic also say, “I need a tetnus shot. And rabies. And antiserum. You see that goddamn guy? Fucking give me every shot you’ve got.”

2. Jenny tells him “I’m waiting for my ex-husband.” Randall is coming back with a chainsaw, to escort Jenny to the pediatrics ward to protect the kids. That is going to be Randy and Jen’s story arc—barricading themselves in the children’s wing—and I think Jen should think of it almost immediately. Maybe she should insist to Lanz to evacuate the hospital, and he says something like, “Evacuate where? We’re in the middle of Bumblefuck, Hickville. I’m supposed to march 234 patients out into the woods?”

That gives us a patient number, reinforces that they can’t get away, and tells Lanz where Jenny will be when he becomes a dracula and decided to eject her himself.

Joe

• • •

And just to clarify:

No one writes or edits or corrects anyone else’s section without specific permission from the writer. We’ll all do a final edit when we put this together. But for the first few drafts, let’s all make suggestions, but no rewriting.

And when you do a second draft, save it numerically. Paul 1.0, Paul 1.1, Paul 1.2, etc. Get used to doing a new draft every time you make a change or an addition. We’ll all be reading each other, and may need to go back to earlier drafts and lift stuff from them. Keeping the drafts separate will make it easier.

Joe

• • •

I should be able to fling my first chapter into the dropbox sometime tomorrow, with another one by Sunday. Thus far, I’ve had a lot of fun justifying the preposterous idea that Randall is actually going to limp out of the hospital to get a chainsaw from his truck. He acts impulsively, realizes quickly that he’s acting impulsively, but refuses to back down from a task once he’s started, even as he thinks “Y’know, the hospital security probably isn’t going to want to let me back inside with a chainsaw in my hands.” This is a large part of why he and Jenny are no longer married.

Jeff

• • •

Nice! Looking forward.

Blake

• • •

Chap 4 is pretty much done. It ends with Oasis and the EMT becoming draculas and killing the LPN while Lanz runs and hides in the supply room. Where those two go from there I don’t know.

I don’t have a sense for what Shanna is doing in all this.

As requested, I added some Lanz to Blake’s Chap. 7. He’s still in the supply room. Here is where he thinks he can beat it but fails miserably — he breaks out and starts chomping. I think Randall has to come through the ER while Lanz has locked himself away.

Paul

• • •

Paul - can’t wait to read your new stuff. Love that Lanz runs and hides again.

Re: Shanna, I would say it’s totally up to you since Clayton Theel is going to come into the hospital looking for her, which I suppose is his first motivation - find Shanna. Perhaps she needs a short chapter where she has lingered in the ambulance, trying to pull herself together, then walks into the ER when all hell has broken loose. Maybe Moorecook chases her out into another part of the hospital? I guess it really depends on what you’re going to do with Shanna and Clayton for the core of your story. Do they have a phone conversation in the ambulance while he’s on his way where she pretty much breaks up with him? Pushing him to search for her even harder?

Joe and Jeff have figured out how their characters are going to interact, mine are probably going to be in a vacuum until the very end, a pregnant couple fighting for their life in the maternity ward. What are you thinking of for Clayton’s journey through hell? Maybe we can find a way to have him intersect with my characters?

Blake

• • •

I think we need a scene where the draculas tell everybody in the hospital that they’ve won the lottery, and as the people walk one-by-one into a private room to collect their winnings, the draculas kill them!

Jeff

• • •

BRILLIANT!

Paul

• • •

I think Shanna outside the hospital doors (cell reception is better there) calling Clay is a good start. She can call off the trip to the gun show. Their relationship is not working…etc. Besides she’s too upset about Mortimer’s collapse.

I think we should have all sorts of character meet-ups. Randall and Lanz have certainly got issues.

I see Clay as like the Terminator when it comes to killing draculas…until his ammo runs out.

Paul

August 20, 2010

Agreed, with the caveat that we can fix typos without consultation. I read Paul’s chapter 4 last night and added a period to one sentence and closed out a quote that needed to be.

Blake

• • •

Joe thinks I’m just crazy and anal (which I’m not refuting) but I don’t think it’s a terrible idea to have a working hospital map that we can refer to to track character movement.

http://www.iredellmemorial.org/guide.aspx?id=922

This is the hospital from the town where I grew up in North Carolina . Services the same community size as Durango (45 thousand in the surrounding counties) but I like the floor plan much better (more stories). I’m not saying we have to stick to this religiously, but I think it may be good to consult. I have to have an idea of the space my characters inhabit, it also prods my creativity, and when I’m not familiar with an environment like this (thank God) I need a little help. Obviously, my characters will be based in the maternity ward. Joe’s will be in pediatrics. Jeff’s is trying to get the power going or something so he can communicate with Jenny. Not sure what Clayton and Shanna are doing yet but my sense is Clayton’s like a kid in a candy shop, a real-life video game where he gets to play with all his toys and he’s going to be fucking blasting through the place until the ammo runs out.

If everyone likes this, I’ll throw it in the dropbox.

Blake

• • •

That hospital is too big, methinks. I was thinking two hundred patients, tops.

Almost done with the morgue scene, then I’ll work on Jenny’s scene.

Joe

• • •

It’s only a 247-bed hospital, so if there are 100-150 patients during the outbreak, doesn’t that seem about right?

Blake

• • •

We can always lop off the 5th floor, too. I think four stories is about right.

Blake

• • •

Also, to make putting this together easier, we need to break up our own individual sections and chapters.

So when I write the first Jenny scene, it will be JOE 1.0, JOE 1.1, etc.

When I write a new scene, it will be JOE 2.0, JOE 2.1. JOE 2.2.

Blake, I’m still working on the morgue scene. But I’ll split up the Lanz section at the end and make that BLAKE 2.0.

That way, we can work on different sections, and it will be easier to piece this into a linear narrative.

Joe

• • •

Joe - I think as soon as

-you write Jenny’s scene

-wrap up the Morgue scene

-write Oasis into 7

-Jeff writes Benny the Clown into 7

-Paul addresses Shanna in chapter 4

we can put all of that into the main manuscript document and we will truly be set up. Then we’ll be crossing over much less than these opening chapters. Also I’m all for getting rid of chapters at the end, but I think it’s been helpful up to this point.

Blake

• • •

Great chapter, Jeff.

Are you sure you want the chainsaw gone so quickly? I’d sorta like Randall to have it for a while. He could siphon gas out of his truck.

I’ll write a scene where Jenny finds Randall and they go to pediatrics. But before I do, let’s decide if the chainsaw is in play or broken. I like it running out of gas, but I also want him to be able to cut some draculas up.

Joe

• • •

Morgue scene done. Have at it.

Had to change the last line, because I introduced Benny earlier, but I think it works.

Joe

• • •

Ditto great chapter, love how you’re bringing out Randall’s stubbornness. I laughed out loud at the wrong church line—absolutely perfectly says who this guy is.

But have to admit, I was sad when he broke the chainsaw. I also hadn’t imagined he would get into it with Mortimer right away. I thought maybe Mortimer’s already gone by the time he gets back. I don’t know. What do you think? You know everyone can’t wait to see Randall fuck some draculas up with a chainsaw so maybe tease it out a bit?

Also, I have a friend who’s essentially a lumberjack, but he gets real upset if you call him that. “He’s an arborist. He doesn’t just cut trees down. It’s art.” Maybe there’s some comic gold there.

Blake

• • •

I love having the chainsaw taken out of the equation so quickly after all the buildup and never used for its intended purpose. Horror fans have already had their share of chainsaw mayhem. We’ve got a whole hospital full of ways to kill draculas!

Jeff

• • •

Oh, that wasn’t supposed to be Mortimer. Just a random dracula. I’ll add some sort of distinguishing characteristic to make that clear.

Jeff

• • •

In theory, the hospital could have some landscaping supplies in the basement. After being robbed of his chainsaw moment early on, Randall could find one near the end of the book and finally get his chance to go wild.

Jeff

• • •

Blake and I thought up the idea of a lumberjack so he’d have a truck full of toys to play with. Or else, why use him as a character?

Just spoke to Blake. We like it running out of gas. But it probably wouldn’t break, even if used to bash in a skull. Those saws are made really tough.

How about Randall holds onto it, refusing to let it go, even though it is out of gas? Then he could finally find some gas and let loose. It would be funny, stubborn, and oddly poignant that he won’t give up something he’s attached to—a metaphor for his relationship with Jenny.

Or else he has more saws and axes in his truck.

Either way, we’d really like this guy to be armed with the tools of his trade, even if he can’t use them until later.

Joe

• • •

Here’s the morgue scene.

Joe

• • •

Standing ovation…fucking killer scene.

Blake

• • •

On reflection, I think you should write something in Oasis’ POV. Equate blood to candy for her. Could even show her throwing a tantrum b/c she wants it and she doesn’t have it. Maybe it doesn’t occur to her right away that she might be able to kill people to get it. They’re adults and on some level she still thinks of them like that. Maybe she attacks someone and gets the shit beat out of her. Then realizes she needs to go where the kiddies and the babies are.

Blake

• • •

Nice. Maybe u should write the scene.

Joe

• • •

I will, but you have to help me with Mortimer later on. So now, just write the Jenny scene, and we should have it ready to go.

Blake

• • •

I’ve added a very quick scene with Benny the Clown to the end of Chapter 7. But I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to mess with Blake’s file, so I’ve saved the chapter in my own folder as BENNY 1.0.

Jeff

• • •

You totally could have put in that file, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll merge everything into the main file soon. We’re closing in on 15K words, boys!

Blake

• • •

Brilliant…favorite moment: he hopes the security camera catches him wiping the gore off his face. Also love the utility belt. I love this guy.

Blake

• • •

Pitch-perfect

Blake

• • •

It’s in the dropbox now, and is the complete manuscript with all our work to present. I need to write an Oasis scene, Joe needs to write a Jenny scene, and Paul needs to write a Shanna scene, and then we really have the 1st 1/4 of the book done. If anyone wants to revamp any of their stuff, please do it in the Draculas 1.4 full manuscript I’d like to get that finalized, and then we can turn our attention to our individual character arcs.

Goodnight!

Blake

August 21, 2010

I’m actually working on DRACULAS 1.5, adding the Jenny scene. No one touch it until it’s live in about an hour, then we can take turns doing rewrites. Jeff first, then Paul, then Blake. Each rewrite, make a new number: 1.6, 1.7, etc.

I took out the chapter numbers, as Blake and I originally intended—this thing is meant to read without stops. Also, HOUR 1 was replaced with HOUR ZERO and we go from there, but I’m not sure these headings are needed either. We’ll keep them for the moment.

Joe

• • •

But we’re going to keep chapter numbers while we’re working, right? Just to keep straight the order of events.

Paul

• • •

Sure, we can keep chapters in out individual scenes. I just removed them in the main compiled document. As a result, it reads quicker, more unrelenting.

But as we write them in our folders, chapters are fine.

Joe

• • •

Yeah, let’s keep the hours and character headings for now. I certainly need them to help keep my story straight and it’s a good way to scan. Maybe the last thing we’ll do is remove them, but we should probably think hard before doing that.

Blake

• • •

When we’ve all finished our main character arcs, we’ll have to decide how and if to splice them together in the main document. My initial thought would be to interweave them, breaking at cliffhanging moments. What will be really cool, is we can release an alternate version of the novel (an extra) where POVs are held together through the end. So you can read Moorecook straight through, then Lanz, then Randall, then Jenny, etc.

Blake

• • •

Okay, we’ve got 1.5 in the Dropbox.

Paul, we need a Shanna scene from you. Blake is doing an Oasis scene. Then we’re done with the first quarter of the book, and can start Hour Two.

Jeff, your first scene is Randall’s POV, going with Jenny to pediatrics, then leaving her to go after Moorecook. Randall will also be looking for gasoline for his chainsaw, and to turn on the generator when the electricity goes out. Enemies will be random draculas and Moorecook in particular.

Paul, your first scene is Clayton arriving, looking for Shanna. They’ll be seeking each other out, and Clayton will be trying to control the situation and get outside reinforcements, while they work out their relationship problems. Their main antagonist will be Lanz in particular.

My story arc will start with Jenny defending pediatrics against the draculas, Benny in particular.

Blake’s story arc will be his pregnant couple, defending against Oasis in particular, while going through labor.

If we can each do about 7,000 words within our arcs, then we can bring them all together for the final showdown during the last quarter of the book.

After the Shanna and Oasis scenes, we’ll all go back to our separate folders.

Does this work for everyone?

Joe

• • •

We should probably each have a specific number of chapters to write in our separate arcs (4?) so that when the story is pieced together we can just go A, B, C, D, A, B, C, D, A, B, C, D.

Jeff

• • •

That depends on the length of each arc, and what’s happening in the rest of the story. It doesn’t have to be so strict with trading POVs.

As long as we all write fast-paced, short sections (a few pages each) with cliffhanger-type endings, we can pretty much cut and paste and make it work in a number of different ways. This really won’t be hard to put together. We got 15k words already, and they meshed seamlessly without too much forethought.

Joe

• • •

I’m having a hard time getting to the keyboard today (not home). I’m gonna add Shanna after Randall’s “sumbich” line. She’s going to wander into the hospital proper to the snack bar, then outside in front of the lobby. She’ll try to tell Clay over the phone but won’t. She owes him a face-to-face. I like the irony of Clay thinking this girl is crazy about him - he knows it’s the guns.

Paul

August 22, 2010

All - Draculas 1.6 is now up with Paul’s excellent new Shanna section. I’ve moved the 1.5 and Paul’s conflicted 1.5 over (saving it in case Paul did anything else beyond the Shanna section). Let’s all stay out of 1.6 for now and go nuts on our separate sections. Great job, all. These 1st 17,000 words really sing.

Blake

• • •

JEFF 2.0, wherein Randall and Jenny make it to pediatrics, is up on Dropbox.

Jeff

• • •

Nicely done. I laughed twice, and great action.

Two suggestions:

“Jenny pushed open a door marked “Pediatrics.” So that’s how it’s spelled, Randall thought.”

Also, Jenny shouldn’t want him to go after Mortimer, and should say so. First, she doesn’t want him to leave her. Second, she doesn’t want him to put himself in danger. This scene could be drawn out for some drama, and perhaps they should come very close to kissing. We want to feel that their love, which has always been there, is still strong. They should both feel reluctant, and nervous, and confused, and frightened at the thought of losing each other. After all, they won’t see each other again for a few thousand words.

This is a perfect time to actually make the reader feel about the characters, and it should only take a paragraph. If you’re sick of writing the scene, lemme know and I’ll take a shot at it.

Joe

• • •

I dunno…I feel like the whole “Randall goes after Mortimer” is already stretching suspension of disbelief almost to the breaking point. Randall is dumb and ridiculously impulsive, but leaving the woman he loves behind along with a bunch of innocent children so he can chase after Mortimer is really pushing it. If she’s confused and disoriented and it happens quickly, I can see Randall thinking later “Wow, I really shouldn’t have done that,” but if she’s begging him to stay, I feel like Randall is becoming borderline retarded.

There are plenty of other ways I can handle the scene (Mortimer could be chasing after a kid), but I don’t think the reader will stick with Randall if Jenny asks him not to abandon her.

Jeff

• • •

Just read the scene, have to agree with Jeff. It’s a stupid thing to do to leave those kids, even for Randall. figure out some way to MAKE Randall have to leave, and I think having a child freaked out, and run out of pediatrics and Randall have to go get him might be the way. Then Randall can get stuck, trapped, lost, whatever. Okay, I can’t even spell pediatrics.

Blake

• • •

You guys are right.

How about he doesn’t go after anyone? Let me write a scene where they’re together, barricading pediatrics, and then have a kid run off.

Joe

• • •

That works. I think we were trying to separate the characters too early to get us on our separate arcs. Having a kid run off during the barricading process works much better than a random Mortimer sighting. When Joe is done, I’ll rework the end of my scene to match the beginning of his scene.

Jeff

• • •

Yeah, Jeff, I think you can probably go ahead and start into Randall going after the kid. This sounds great. Loved the scene you just wrote by the way, other than the motivation issues. Excellent dracula head-lopping off action.

Blake

• • •

Okay. I’m back. Just spent 4 hours on the goddamn road.

No, I did nothing to the Dracula 1.5 file.

I’m readying to bring Clay into the picture. Here’s the way I see Clay: Randall thinks that without his badge and gun Clay is nothing, but he’s wrong. He’s one of the good guys. He believes in loyalty and honor and will not back down from a commitment. I see him bitten by a dracula toward the end. He will not allow himself to become one of them. So I see him luring a bunch of them into one of the sun rooms or a large staff meeting room, and setting off one (or maybe a couple) of his high-explosive 40mm grenades, taking them all with him.

Is this okay with everybody?

Paul

• • •

Sounds good, Paul. Lanz will be your main antag, right?

Joe

• • •

Haven’t thought of a main antag for Clay. Randall should hate Lanz’s guts since he got Jenny fired. And Lanz hates Jenny.

Clay hates them all. They’re vermin. He’s the Order half of Law & Order and these draculas are radically offensive.

Paul

• • •

Totally down with it. Can’t wait to read!

Blake

• • •

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_bat

Just thinking here on ways to continue to make our monsters interesting…since we’re basing our draculas more on biology than supernature (word?), what if our draculas exhibit a few creepy characteristics of the real vampire bats…they don’t suck blood, their saliva contains an anticoagulant which stops blood from clotting and prolongs bleeding and they lap up the flow (I already made Oasis’ tongue a sponge). Maybe this doesn’t matter if our draculas are ripping heads off and disemboweling their prey. Also, what if our draculas, along with their keen sense of smell, hunt by sonar, emitting a low-energy sound pulse…they could make some disturbing sound and our characters (maybe my biology-teacher pregnant mother) could speculate on what’s going on, and find ways to combat it.

Blake

• • •

When are we losing it? And is Lanz going to cut it? Obviously there’s going to be some backup system, but can that be taken out too? Are we going completely dark, limited lighting?

Blake

August 24, 2010

I’m only attaching this because I won’t have access to Dropbox until late tonight, and I’m not sure how it will impact what Joe is writing.

Jeff

• • •

Just added a thousand or so words of Clay’s first appearance. I’m assuming most of the draculas have left the ER by now in search of fresh blood, leaving the ones they’ve killed behind…who are now turning.

Paul

August 25, 2010

I think that assumption is a good one. Can’t wait to read this, Paul.

FYI - I’ll be out of pocket in the mountains on a backpacking trip for a few days starting tomorrow and back into civilization on Saturday.

Blake

• • •

I’m having problems thinking Clay wouldn’t call in the cavalry after one look in the ER — then go in after Shanna.

I think we need more premeditation by Morty. He’s been planning this all along. He hired a demolition guy to wire the cell towers to explode, disable land lines, derail the train.

After he receives the skull he makes a call and simply says: “It’s here. Go.”

Clay can come out of the ER, try to call the sheriff and get no service. He looks up at the hilltop and sees the cell tower lying on its side. “WTF?”

Paul

• • •

Cell phones don’t work in the hospital—they have jammers, like the do on airplanes. When Shanna calls Clay, she’ll have to use a payphone.

Clay can, and should, radio for help. But there’s really not a lot of help. Durango’s police force is only about a dozen cops, and half of them are at the train derailing. And even if a dozen cops do come, most will quickly get slaughtered. Then they’ll form a perimeter around the hospital and wait for the military to assist. But between Clay arriving and the military coming can be a good two hours. Once the military does arrive, the CDC won’t let them in right away, having quarantined the hospital—meaning Clay is stuck in there. They’d need P-4 containment suits, and there probably aren’t many in Colorado.

Having Mort premeditate a trap would mean he knew he would go into convulsions when he bit himself with the skull, and then be taken to the hospital. While that could happen, I’m not sure it’s necessary. Through simple chain of command and politics it could take five hours before the army finally storms through the hospital, and by that time our book is over.

Joe

• • •

But wouldn’t it be kind of cool if Mortimer does have an idea of what will happen? What if he tried the skull on a mouse first? What if that’s the opening scene? A cute little mouse getting punctured by a fang and going apeshit and turning into this ravenous little monster. Mort needs lots of blood to pull off his plan, what he really wants, which is to be forever young. What better place to go than a hospital with sick, dying people, and A BLOOD BANK? I think what Paul is getting at is giving Mort a little more forethought. We know we want Mort to walk out a young, healthy 28-year old looking man at the end (reverse night of the living dead end), so what if he has done some orchestration here? He certainly has the means. What would need to be finessed though, is how additional draculas help Mort’s goal. Don’t they just gobble up more blood he could have? Maybe he intends to fully kill everyone he attacks so they can’t regenerate, but that doesn’t happen. Or he wants an army of draculas for some other purpose, possibly he has some control over them…maybe he needs them for a diversion so he can walk out unnoticed at the end…

Blake

• • •

Blake and I were just on the phone, and we decided to go with quarantining the hospital, and having the army and CDC come in.

Mort should have some more backstory, but not to the point where he booby-trapped the hospital.

Clay can call it in, go look for Shanna, and the Calvary will come and get wiped out. Then the second tier can set up a perimeter around the hospital, to prevent the infection from spreading, but they won’t go in right away.

Joe

• • •

Okay. Either way, Clay gets to make the call, which was my concern.

Paul

• • •

I’m with Joe on this one…I think it’s better to keep it an out-of-control outbreak rather than something that Mortimer had planned. There are a shitload of logic issues we’d have to address is this is all part of some grand scheme.

Jeff

August 26, 2010

Have fun, Blake! I’ll be heading off to a cabin in the Wisconsin woods the day after you get back.

Jeff

August 27, 2010

I’m planning a scene with Shanna in the chapel where she learns the hard way that crosses are ineffective against the draculas. Anyone else have something like this going? Don’t want to duplicate…

Paul

• • •

I believe Blake has written a scene along those lines.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t do one as well. Or that Shanna can’t also be in the chapel at the same time Blake’s character is.

When he gets back from his drunken camping weekend, you two can merge the scenes.

Joe

August 28, 2010

I ended my last section with the power going out…but it seems like it’ll be insanely difficult for all of us to work this element into our individual sections and keep the timeline consistent. Perhaps we should save that for the finale, where the characters all come together?

Jeff

August 29, 2010

Read your sections, Jeff. Awesome. I’m fine with the lights going out then. I can time it to coincide with you. Make sure Randall has a flashlight on his belt.

I’m almost finished with the section where Randall takes off after the girl. She went to look for her mommy. You might want to fix the ending of JEFF 2.0. Randall can still see Mort run past, and maybe even want to go after him, thinking that he’ll kill him and all the others will die, just like you’ve written it. Except have Jenny stop him and say she needs him with her. End it that way.

Then, when the lights go out, Randall can figure it’s Mort who did it. And he’s right—Blake and I will write a Mort POV scene where he takes out the generator. So Randall will go looking for the generator to get it started again.

Does that work for you?

Joe

• • •

“Is that…a flamingo?” asked the old woman.

You are a sick, sick man, Joe Konrath.

Paul

• • •

<i>This had a gun show beat to shit.</i>

Just read your scenes, Paul. Awesome. Laughed at the Dirty Harry line. Clay kicks ass.

I fixed a few small typos. At the end of the Shanna chapel scene (or maybe during it) have the electricity cut out. Then we’ll all be in the dark for a few scenes until Randall gets the lights working again.

Your Sheriff $$—why not name him after one of your other characters from the RJ series? Maybe a brother or father of someone who died. Be cool if this tied in to your other books in a minor way.

Joe

• • •

A few quickie notes.

We’re at 30k words already, and everyone is writing standout scenes. I’m happy to be working with you guys.

We’re at a point where global things are happening that we all need to address in our scenes.

1. There’s gunfire, thanks to Clay. It will be heard throughout the hospital, so make sure your POV characters address it.

2. Clay used the intercom. This is something that can also be addressed. I’m going to have Jenny do the same thing to contact Randall.

3. The electricity goes out, and will remain out until Randall fixes it. Dr. Lanz is the one who did it. We should all be in the dark while writing our 4.0 scenes.

Paul, your Shanna scene you labeled 1.1 is actually 3.1. So during the current scene, or the next scene, lights out.

Blake, you can go dark right about where your scene left off.

I believe overlapping timeframes is the best way to do this. Readers will be able to pick up that this is all happening at once, and by using cues such as the gunshots and the intercom announcements, they’ll be able to keep track of what is happening when.

So far, I see zero difficulty in piecing this together seamlessly. We might need to juggle a scene or two, but it’s going to mesh very well.

Joe

• • •

Shanna’s conversion at the end of her big scene might be a little over the top, but god it was fun.

Lanz kills the power…anyone know how to make that work? There’s gotta be a backup generator. He could destroy that first, then go after the main. But total darkness — uh-uh. All hospitals have battery-operated emergency lights in all the hallways. I don’t see how we can have total darkness, folks, but we can have loooong, deeeeep shadows from which friends and foes can spring.

Randall and Clay need to bump skulls at some point.

Lanz has to go after Jenny. I’d love to do that from alternating POVs with Jenny finally outwitting and killing him — and he can’t believe that he’s fallen victim to a lesser mind.

This is proving to be fun.

BTW, I’ve passed the 10k mark and have miles to go before I sleep.

Paul

• • •

I like Shanna’s conversion. It may need to be described in a bit more detail, but it’s totally plausible and you did it well.

The lights out will mean the generator will kick on, which will supply power to essential hospital equipment and utilities, but the lights will be dimmer (emergency boxes only above doorways) and the intercom will be out.

I dug the Jenny/Lanz dynamic. He’s currently after her in Pediatrics. If you’d like to do his POV scenes, we can work it out.

Joe

• • •

We can tag-team it. Fun.

Paul

• • •

All - I’m back in civilization, and can’t wait to read everyone’s parts…Paul - feel free to do the chapel scene, I wasn’t seeing a way to work it out in my scene…a question about the hospital power going out…are we going completely dark? No backup lights…having to use flashlights or glo-sticks only? Let me know.

Blake

• • •

Also, I’m writing a Lanz POV scene to take him up to pediatrics, and show he seems to be smarter than the rest of the draculas. Possibly because he ingested the infection rather than got bitten.

Paul, aren’t there some diseases that can be more severe based on the method of infection? My mind is blanking. But I’m pretty sure there are some bugs that are worse if you ingest them, as oppose to inhale them, or something…

Joe

• • •

Up to speed finally on everyone’s sections, and damn, boys! Really happy with how this is shaping up. Love Randall and Tina dynamic. Clay going through the hospital with his big guns is just plain badass, and Joe, we knew this already, but something is seriously wrong with you…”is that a flamingo?” OMG. Bravo, gents!

Blake

August 30, 2010

I wasn’t happy with her immediate gonzetta transformation, so I toned it down.

Paul

August 31, 2010

JCPL had a fire somewhere yesterday afternoon that left much of this area of the Shore without power. (I was reading by flashlight last night.) But we’re back now.

Paul

• • •

Doesn’t sound too hard…

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100827/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_snake_hospital_outage

Paul

• • •

I’ve made it so Lanz has more of his mental faculties than most of the draculas, due to ingesting the blood rather than being bitten. It’s in the JOE folder, LANZ_2.0.

But it occurred to me that Benny also seems higher-functioning and calmer than the others. I was thinking that because Benny is severely depressed, he’d take SSRIs (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft) which might negate some of the “wildness” that being a dracula causes.

When Randall tussles with Benny, a half empty bottle of sertraline can fall out of his clown suit, and I’m thinking he can tell Jenny the nurse, and she can arm herself with bottles of pills and start throwing them in draculas’ mouths. They’ll still be hostile, but not as frantic. Could be cool to have her walk past a bunch of docile draculas, standing there watching her without coming after her.

Or not. Just spitballing. But hospitals are filled with drugs, and Jenny is the obvious one to use drugs against them.

Joe

• • •

The Benny/Zoloft thing is clever. Use it. But…

SSRIs take weeks to work, while benzodiazepines (Valium, ativan, xanax) can kick in in 20-30 minutes — quicker if injected. Could have some mellow draculas.

Jenny vs Lanz — how about Jenny gets a long intracardiac needle, attaches it to a syringe filled with potassium chloride (KCl) and rams it into Lanz’s heart as he grapples with her? It will cause cardiac arrest in a human. Maybe it just slows him down enough for her to run the upper part of an IV pole through each of his eyes into his brain.

Paul

• • •

JEFF 4.0 is done. I wasn’t specific about Benny’s medication, but my section acknowledges that drugged-up draculas could be more docile.

On other note, only Randall should call them “draculas,” unless Jenny or somebody thinks “That’s what Randall called them” first.

Jeff

• • •

Jenny calls them that because she heard Randall say it. I’ll have her use the intercom to talk to Randall, then she’ll use the word so everyone else in the hospital hears it.

Joe

• • •

Whatever Jenny says to Randall I’ll incorporate into JEFF 5.0.

Jeff

• • •

When does the power go out in the timeline?

I have it going out at the end of my Shanna/Chapel scene but I can move it later.

Lanz realizes there’s a heavily armed Rambo type coming through the hospital and needs to turn things to his advantage. Ah-ha! Power failure.

I can have Lanz disable the On/Off switch of the backup generator, then destroy the main power breakers. This will leave only battery-powered emergency hall lights until Randall hotwires the backup generator to start up.

Should we do this before Lanz finds Jenny?

Paul

• • •

Lanz already confronted Jenny in the last scene I wrote, and Jenny set him on fire, which he extinguished before he ran off.

Paul, you can then have him run downstairs, past gun-toting Clay, and figure out the best way to get both Clay and Jenny is in darkness, because draculas have a tapetum lucidum and can see well in low light.

Joe

• • •

I read that scene.

Okay. I’ll tackle that next.

Paul

September 4, 2010

I was just finally catching up with everyone’s sections, and it looks great. I think we’re at about 38,000 words right now. Jeff and Paul, I noticed that some of the files in your folders were already in the Draculas 1.6 manuscript, so Paul I moved “Paul 1.3” them into your “Old” folder, and Jeff, I moved “Benny 1.0, Jeff 1.0, and Jeff 1.1” into your old folder. It’ll make it easier to add things to the manuscript if only new sections are there.

Have a great weekend, all!

Blake

September 5, 2010

Paul and I got a lot of work done in New Orleans.

Just kidding. All we did was drink.

Joe

• • •

Shocker

Blake

September 6, 2010

Anyone adverse to me putting together what we’ve got so far and doing a light edit (fixing errors, seeding consistencies, etc.)?

Joe

• • •

Okay, I put together just about everything we’ve done so far. I also added a scene with Lanz turning off the circuit breaker, and changed Shanna’s cell phone message to Clay into a payphone message, and kept Randall with Jenny in pediatrics instead of running after Mortimer.

It’s in DRACULAS_2.0. It reads really well. Feel free to check it out. But let’s avoid going back and editing this for the moment—if we all go in and start changing things we might begin to overlap each other. There will be time to tweak our sections, and the overall manuscript, when we’re finished. We’ll all have a shot at fixing stuff.

Also, don’t tweak your old scenes, as those have already been incorporated in the manuscript and you’d have to make the same changes twice.

What’s happening next:

Jenny’s stuck in pediatrics. Lanz is coming for her.

Blake and I want Benny to take Randall’s chainsaw, but we’ll leave that up to Jeff.

Randall needs to keep the girl safe, and get down to the basement and flip on the circuit breaker so he can use the intercom like Clay did, to get a message to Jenny.

Stacie and Adam have to deal with birth, and Oasis. Blake, I dunno where your Grammie Ann scene fits in (nice scene!) Stick it into 2.0 where it goes.

Clay and Shanna are heading to the parking lot, but they’ll find Mortimer there, tearing cars and tires and radios to shreds. Should have a Mort POV scene here, doing it. He’s also stronger than the other draculas, so Clay may take it as a personal challenge to try to bring him down.

Also, Shanna is going to either tell Clay, or use internal monologue, to recap how this outbreak might have happened, going back in history to recall Baron Von Wolkenstein. This will give the reader a bit more of where the vampires came from, how they spread and helped to form the vampire legend that we all know. Blake and I have a lot of this figured out, so if you can set it up, Paul, we can just plug it in.

The police will be coming soon. We all have our villains to deal with (Clay and Shanna vs. Mort and a lot of draculas, Randall vs. Benny, Jenny vs. Lanz, Stacie and Adam vs. Oasis.)

I think we can take this up to the army surrounding the hospital. Then we can begin the final act.

Joe

September 8, 2010

I put up some new Clay and cut off at a spot where Joe and Blake can put in the myth/lore they’ve worked up. After that, I’ll have Clay give Shanna the ring (he thinks it’s possible he won’t see her again). They’ll make it to the parking lot to find the dead staties and the slashed tires.

Paul

• • •

I added Draculas 2.2, which includes a very short moment on page 113 where Randall loses his chainsaw.

Also Benny 2.0, in which the clown picks up the aforementioned chainsaw.

Jeff

September 9, 2010

BLOOD BLOODBLOODBLOODBLOODBLOOD…STOP! He released the girl he’d been slurping, even though she still had some blood left. Moorecook wanted them to turn. He wanted as many of his kind as possible.

This implies if victims die they don’t turn. But what about the morgue scene?

Paul

• • •

If they die, they come back, but they can die through exsanguination. A dracula needs a certain amount of blood left to transform. Which is why draining their blood kills draculas.

I’ll try to make that clearer in the text.

Joe

• • •

Okay, I’m going to have Clay and Shanna in the parking lot with the ruined tires and the dead state cops. They can’t escape but they’d be crazy to go back in…

…unless they see Jenny waving from an upper floor window. Clay will go back in to get her, Shanna will come along (because what if these dead staties turn into monsters?) and that’s when Clay and Randall meet.

As I said before, Clay will be wounded and will find a dramatic way to take himself out of the picture and take a whole buncha draculas with him.

Think it would be possible to have a conference call and do a little spitballing? I’m not comfortable with the complete isolation of the hospital. Every patient room has a land-line phone. Calls would be going out left and right. When the sheriff calls in the staties, the police beat reporters hear about it. Local TV stations would be sending camera crews. National cable TV news would be picking it up and sending helicopters for aerial views. You’ve seen it: I guy waving a gun and the whole world’s on it. People can suspend their disbelief only so far. If we’re going to keep them onboard, we need cell towers down, we need land-line junctions exploding, WE NEED A CONSPIRACY!

The series potential here is obvious and I think we need yet another layer.

Paul

• • •

Here’s what Blake and I have been thinking:

Jenny is trapped in a storage closet. Randall is going to fight his way back to her. I’d like him to confront Clay, and for them to have a physical tussle. (I think they should stop fighting when Randall quotes a line from the movie ALIENS, as I mentioned in a previous email.) Clay could agree to help Randall get Jenny, but first he needs to get Shanna safe.

Randall deals with Benny and his chainsaw. Jenny deals with Lanz. Adam and Stacie deal with Oasis.

Clay and Shanna get to the parking lot. Clay leaves Shanna with the media—they do arrive because they were called—but Clay is honor bound to go back in to help Randall. But first, he proposes to her.

Clay, on his way to Jenny and Randall, encounters Adam and Stacie. He helps to kill Oasis, and they join Randall to save Jenny.

They do save Jenny, but Randall gets bitten. Jenny refuses to let Clay kill him, and Clay agrees, but will be ready when Randall turns. They decide the way to survive is to get onto the roof and flag down the TV helicopter circling the hospital.

They’re chased to the roof. Clay is down to his last few rounds. Randall becomes a dracula. But his love for Jenny is so strong he doesn’t attack her—he attacks all the draculas coming after them. He wipes out a bunch in a killing frenzy, but is mortally wounded.

Clay can either die heroically, or else get off the roof and wind up with Shanna for a happy ending.

Adam dies heroically, but gets his wife and child into the TV helicopter, which lands on the helipad on the roof.

The army arrives. Jenny stays with a dying Randall on the roof. Just as they’re surrounded by draculas, the army blows up the hospital.

A young, bloody man survives. He’s Mortimer, who changed back into something resembling a human—the real Count Dracula who is now going to turn the world. This is a reverse Night of the Living Dead ending. Rather than the rescuers killing the hero, the rescuers save the villain.

I want the media and the army to come. There’s no need to keep them at bay. The secluded area, and the local cops dead, mean it will take some time for the army to show up.

We’ve only got about 3000 words each to write with our characters, then the slam bang ending where we can divvy up the final scenes.

How does that sound?

Joe

• • •

I’m okay with this, and I do like the finale happening on the hospital roof…Paul does this address your concerns with the isolation, which I also had from the beginning? I’m up for a conference call if we need to flesh this out some more.

Blake

• • •

Here’s what Blake and I have been thinking:

Jenny is trapped in a storage closet. Randall is going to fight his way back to her. I’d like him to confront Clay, and for them to have a physical tussle. (I think they should stop fighting when Randall quotes a line from the movie ALIENS, as I mentioned in a previous email.) Clay could agree to help Randall get Jenny, but first he needs to get Shanna safe.

Okay, I’ll have to rewrite the stairwell scene. I can have C & S forced upstairs by the draculas and bump into Randall and the kid. (Speaking of the kid, it would be cool to have her transform into a dracula while she’s on Randall’s back. He notices these little teeth dropping on his shoulder…)

Randall deals with Benny and his chainsaw. Jenny deals with Lanz. Adam and Stacie deal with Oasis.

Clay and Shanna get to the parking lot. Clay leaves Shanna with the media—they do arrive because they were called—but Clay is honor bound to go back in to help Randall. But first, he proposes to her.

Okay. I’ll have him pull out his MM-1 semi-auto grenade launcher (a la Dogs of War) loaded with 40mm buckshot rounds instead of grenades, and go back in.

Clay, on his way to Jenny and Randall, encounters Adam and Stacie. He helps to kill Oasis, and they join Randall to save Jenny.

Okay.

They do save Jenny, but Randall gets bitten. Jenny refuses to let Clay kill him, and Clay agrees, but will be ready when Randall turns. They decide the way to survive is to get onto the roof and flag down the TV helicopter circling the hospital.

They’re chased to the roof. (Can we put this off?)

Clay is down to his last few rounds. Randall becomes a dracula. But his love for Jenny is so strong he doesn’t attack her—he attacks all the draculas coming after them. He wipes out a bunch in a killing frenzy, but is mortally wounded. (Have this happen in the hospital?)

Clay can either die heroically, or else get off the roof and wind up with Shanna

for a happy ending.

We don’t need no stinking happy ending. A wounded Clay will die creating an explosive diversion for Jenny’s escape to the roof.

Adam dies heroically, but gets his wife and child into the TV helicopter, which lands on the helipad on the roof.

The army arrives. Jenny stays with a dying Randall on the roof. Just as they’re surrounded by draculas, the army blows up the hospital.

A young, bloody man survives. He’s Mortimer, who changed back into something resembling a human—the real Count Dracula who is now going to turn the world. This is a reverse Night of the Living Dead ending. Rather than the rescuers killing the hero, the rescuers save the villain.

I want the media and the army to come. There’s no need to keep them at bay. The secluded area, and the local cops dead, mean it will take some time for the army to show up.

Paul

• • •

The media, etc. showing up is what I’d expect, so that alleviates my believability concerns.

Looks like Shanna is the only survivor. She can lead the charge into the next book. I’m already visualizing her visiting Clay’s father, him teaching her to shoot…

Paul

• • •

Nice! I love it…just a thought, What if both Stacie and Adam die, but a young man offers to save their baby at the end, and they let him. We of course, are interested and instantly sympathetic with this guy, and only in the last sentence/paragraph of the book, do we realize the young man is Mort, walking out of the hospital with a baby in his arms, a protégé who will help him conquer the world.

Blake

• • •

If you need to kill Clay, I understand. But he’s probably the most fun character in the book. I wouldn’t be adverse to having him live. Or maybe doing the classic: He’s probably dead, Shanna cries, then she sees him tangled up in the fire escape when he jumped off the roof.

Jeff and I have already discussed Jenny and Randall dying. Stacie should survive, with her baby, but Blake and I discussed killing Adam.

I love the idea of the kid becoming a dracula on Randall’s back.

Joe

• • •

I’m not adverse to Clay living, but I had such a neat death idea: He’s got 2 high explosive 40mm grenades. They’re designed not to explode within 90 feet of the launcher. He can modify that. I see him wounded, bleeding, luring a whole bunch of draculas into some sort of enclosed area and detonating both, turning himself and them into meat confetti.

Paul

• • •

First of all, “Meat Confetti” needs to be the name of a thrash metal band.

If Adam is mortally wounded, Clay could teach Adam how to set them off. Being a man of God, Adam would rather die than become an unholy abomination like Randall had become. And let’s say his wife also died. So Clay could give him a lesson, then do a dramatic escape with the baby.

Then when Clay makes it to safety, he (inadvertently) hands the baby off to Mortimer, who is now a young man (and flirting with Shanna, as he’d wanted to in the beginning.)

Joe

• • •

I LIKE IT!

Paul

• • •

For Jeff: I put up a first draft of the Clay and Randall scene. Hit that sucker and do what you want with Randall’s dialogue or whatever.

Oddly, I couldn’t get them to fight. Maybe you can. They just trashed talked for me. Might’ve got to fighting if the Aliens references hadn’t come up. (I found a couple of colorful ones.)

Paul

• • •

I won’t be able to read it until this evening, but Randall is in such lousy physical shape by that point that it would completely make sense that he’d resort to trash talk over violence when dealing with Clay. Especially since Clay has guns.

Jeff

• • •

Loved the Clay and Randall scene, Paul.

Jeff, to get Randall to that point, he’s gotta ditch the wheelchair dracula, and get the circuit breaker back up.

Joe

• • •

Did I miss the “Jenny on the intercom” scene? I’m going to use that during the Randall vs. Wheelchair Dracula scene.

Jeff

• • •

I’m doing the “Jenny uses the intercom scene” right now. Her message is:

“Randall, I’m still in pediatrics with the children. I need you to…oh my God!”

This will be while the lights are still out.

Joe

September 10, 2010

Since Jenny is using the Intercom with the electricity still off, I see no reason for Randall to put the lights back on. We can finish the novel in the dark. Scarier, more suspenseful.

Get your flashlights, lighters, and torches…

Joe

• • •

I’ve added Clay and Randall 3.3 to Paul’s folder.

Jeff

• • •

A new file up — Just shy of 3k in length. Clay gets Shanna to safety, meets a TV crew there, offs the dead staties as they become draculas, gives Shanna the ring, hauls out his MM-1, and heads back inside.

Paul

• • •

Sorry, that was just shy of 2.3k

Paul

• • •

Fuckin’ A Paul Wilson. Awesome scene.

I’ve got a Jenny/Lanz back and forth going on that will probably be the grossest scene in the book, then she’ll be all ready to be rescued. She also has four kids with her, who should also be rescued.

Clay’s gonna have his hands full.

Joe

• • •

Jeff 5.0…is done.

I’m going to do another short Randall chapter where he’s stumbling through the hospital, really out of it (which lets us “cheat” the timeframe a bit because it’s not specific about how long he’s wandering around) and then I’ll link it up to the Randall Meets Clay scene.

Jeff

• • •

All - can’t wait to read the new pages…I’ve been quiet this week b/c I’ve been trying to wrap up edits on AMERICAN GENOCIDE but I should be back into DRACULAS Saturday or Sunday.

Blake

• • •

Awesome scene, Jeff.

I’m guessing Randall will get stuck at the stairs because of his injury, and have to crawl, and the legless dracula will be right behind him in a death race. Won’t be so funny anymore when the dracula is closing the gap.

You also need to do a Benny scene where he finds gas. I did some research, and a two cycle engine like a chainsaw should be able to run on isopropyl alcohol. In other words, rubbing alcohol, which is everywhere.

Benny would know this because his chainsaw juggling buddy used to also spit fire, and used rubbing alcohol to both blow flames and power his saws.

Blake - No worries about being behind. Take as long as you need with American Genocide. Because we’ve replaced you with Brian Keene.

Joe

• • •

Joe, you’re a treasure.

Blake

• • •

So let’s bury him!

Jeff

• • •

Free sample is live…

http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Chapters-Upcoming-Release-ebook/dp/B0042ANZBU

Joe

• • •

Sweet!

When I tried to download the sampler, my Kindle went dead. 100% blank screen, flipping the power switch did nothing—dead.

Fortunately, a manual reset worked, but clearly DRACULAS is a book of evil.

Jeff

• • •

Honestly, no shit, it crashed my Kindle PC too. WTF?

Blake

• • •

http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Novel-Terror-ebook/dp/B0042AMD2M

Go ahead and tell the world. We’re going into full-on promo mode.

Joe

September 11, 2010

My Jenny/Lanz scene is almost finished, then I’ll be caught up to Paul. Jeff has one more scene to get him up to the point where he can meet with Clay.

Blake—you’ve got some catching up to do. If you haven’t started it yet, let me do the Wolkenstein explanation, and you concentrate on Stacie and Adam and Oasis.

Or if you’re really gung-ho about Wolkenstein, go for it. We can work around you until you’re ready.

I’m thinking this whole thing will max out around 70k words. Then we’ll each have a shot at editing it.

My wife has read what we have so far, and she couldn’t tell who wrote what section. Which is pretty impressive, since she’s read all of us. This reads seamlessly.

She loved it, BTW. But the one thing she says is lacking is suspense. She thinks it’s a lot of fun, but could be scarier.

We’re all in a dark hospital right now, so we might want to use this setting to stretch out the tension a bit. I also anticipate going back into the manuscript and adding a bit more atmosphere and creepiness.

That said, this is obviously a lot more like ALIENS than ALIEN, and I’m fine with that. I think readers will dig it.

Joe

• • •

I’ve lost track of time. What time of day is it?

Paul

• • •

In the book, or in your personal life?

In the book, I believe it’s around 9pm.

In your life, it’s 11:18, right about time for your first nap of the day. Your name is Dr. Wilson, and you also write books.

Joe

• • •

I made way more progress last night than I thought I would, and will be finished with my edits by tonight, which means I’m back on Draculas tomorrow and should catch up pretty quickly. I’m happy to do the Shanna scene, and I’ll do it first, but if it’s slowing anything down, feel free.

Blake

• • •

I left the end of Clay 3.0 open for that. It can then be connected to Clay & Randall.

Paul

• • •

A non-gory scene with our lovable clown.

Jeff

• • •

Nice, Jeff. Though, in total candor, I’m not sure if we want to step away from the story for a full-fledged flashback. What do you guys think?

I just wrote a scene with Lanz that actually made me a bit nauseous. I tried to keep it clinical, because he is a doctor, but it ranks up there with the grossest things I’ve ever written…

Joe

• • •

I thought about that, but I think we have to embrace the sheer absurdity of the “clown gasses up chainsaw with rubbing alcohol” concept. It’s a quick enough scene that it doesn’t really disrupt the pacing, and it provides a “quiet” moment in a book that has few, and Benny-in-flashback gets to speak for the reader who is saying “C’mon, gimme a break!”

Jeff

• • •

I revised this to a night scene.

If Maria wants suspense, I’ll try to give her some. I’m sending Clay back up to the 4th floor (that’s where Randall and pediatrics are, right?) Any problem if the emergency lights in this hall are knocked out so it’s DARK — I mean, pitch black?

Paul

• • •

I might be wrong—I think pediatrics is on the third floor. I went off the idea that Clay found Benny on the third floor. So now Randall is going up to the fourth floor to find a different route back to pediatrics, where he’ll meet Clay and link to your chapter, and then he’ll continue back down to the third floor to reunite with Jenny.

Jeff

• • •

@ Jeff - I like the Benny flashback, and see your point. We’ll pop it into the manuscript and see how it reads when everything is put together. A brief respite is fine. But if it throws off the pace, it may have to be done as interior monologue. What do you other guys think?

@ Paul - Pitch black is cool. The draculas could have knocked out lights. Clay would have a Maglite, no doubt. He’d probably have those spot lights that mount on gun barrels. Laser sights too. Though Clay might think laser sights are cheating…

Joe

• • •

Okay, I’ll have Clay go to the 4th floor, do some suspense in the dark, then realize peds is on the 3rd and go down.

Where’s Obstetrics? Eventually Clay has to meet up with the minister so he can show him how to off himself and take a load of draculas with him.

Paul

• • •

Okay, this one’s done, and links directly to Paul’s chapter where Randall and Clay meet.

Jeff

• • •

Great chapter, Jeff. Love the political correctness Randall grapples with.

Here’s what I’m thinking as historical context:

Oswald von Wolkenstein was a member of the Order of the Dragon in the early 1400s. The Order was supposedly formed to fight the Turks and the Ottoman Empire.

But what if it was formed to fight draculas? Members of the order were called Draconists.

The black death raged throughout the 1400s, Today, historians and scholars believe it was the bubonic and pneumonic plague that caused it, but there has been no absolute evidence to support this hypothesis, only educated guesses.

So what if the black death caused dracula-like symptoms in some of its hosts?

Black death ravages the world, but when people with certain genetic precursors are exposed to it (like certain royal bloodlines) it mutates its victims into draculas. The Draconists had family members affected in this way, including Oswald.

The Draconists, out of self-preservation, manage to kill all of the mutations and keep it under wraps, even though it became the source for vampire and werewolf legends. But Oswald, rather than kill his diseased son, kept him chained up in the cellar.

The son escapes, goes on a killing spree, ending up in Transylvania and causing a dracula epidemic.

Vlad III of Wallachia (Vlad the Imapaler), to save his country in the 1450s, realizes the easiest, fastest, and safest hands-off way to kill draculas is to impale them on large stakes, where they’ll eventually starve to death, unable to climb off.

Oswald’s son is caught by Vlad, who beheaded him. It was Oswald’s son’s head found in the field by the farmer in present day.

Mortimer is a direct line from Wolkenstein. He’s got the bloodline, and the genetic precursor. At the beginning, we can put a draconis ouroborus on his robe as a lapel insignia.

This ties in Stoker’s Dracula, Vlad the Impaler, the Draconist order, the black death, and the source of monster legends, and wraps it all up in a neat little historically possible package.

Joe

• • •

BTW- the Draconis ouroboros symbol is a dragon creature eating its own tail. Much like our draculas eat themselves.

Joe

• • •

Verrrrrrrrry cool.

Where does it work into the story? Are we going to weave in bits and pieces throughout?

Jeff

• • •

Blake is putting it in, when Shanna is explaining to Clay what possibly caused this.

Joe

• • •

To make the timeframe work, I think Clay needs to reunite with Randall =after= Randall has saved Jenny. Randall has had enough solo adventures, so I’m going to take him straight to pediatrics, and his final battle with Benny should be when Jenny (and the kids!) are there. She has a grudge against the clown, too, so they can fight him together. They kill Benny, but right before that, Randall gets bitten, so Clay reaches pediatrics just as they’re dealing with that unfortunate fact.

Joe, are you working on any new Jenny stuff? I can pick up where you left off, but I don’t want to step on your toes (since everybody knows you type with your toes—the pictures Blake sent me are frickin’ disgusting!).

Jeff

• • •

Cool. If a point comes up where it makes sense to do this, I’ll have somebody try to explain the backstory to Randall, who has trouble following the details and says “You know what, this late in the game I really don’t give a shit where these things came from!”

Jeff

• • •

Right now, Jenny is killing Lanz. When she’s done, Benny can show up and Randall can burst in and save her.

Joe

• • •

Okay, how about this:

Jenny is fighting Lanz. Kills him. Benny shows up and chainsaws through the door.

Randall rescues her. Tearful reunion. Then they’re surrounded by draculas. Randall fights off a bunch with his saw, but he’s outnumbered. Gets bitten.

Clay comes in with the boom boom, clears the path. Threatens to kill Randall. Jenny won’t let him. They go, with the kids, to the roof because Clay thinks he can flag down the tv helicopter.

Along the way they meet up with Adam, Stacie, and the baby.

Army shows up. Begins to massacre draculas, causing all of them to flee—running up the stairs. Everyone on the roof.

Randall begins to change. He and Jenny express love. Randall becomes a dracula and starts kicking ass.

Clay gets the kids on the helicopter, the baby, and then Stacie is killed and Adam wounded.

Randall is wounded and dying. Jenny stays with him.

Clay gives Adam the grenades, leaps onto the skids as the helicopter takes off (Yippe ki-yaa, mother fucker), and loses his grip and falls off the building.

Adam blows up, making meat confetti. Jenny tell Randall she loves him. He dies. Just as she’s surrounded, the army drops a bomb.

Shanna sees the explosion. Watches the helicopter come. Clay isn’t on it. She weeps. Meets another survivor. Young guy. He’s calm and a bit flirtatious.

Clay climbs out of a tree, his arm and several ribs broken. “Jumping onto a helicopter is a fuckall lot harder than it is in the movies.” Reunites with Jenny.

Survivor gets baby. It’s Mort.

What say you all?

Joe

• • •

Also, my Jenny/Lanz section topped 5000 words. Which means that we’ve written about 50k words so far. I’m figuring it’ll go 15k more, maybe 20k when we go back and add a bit more setting and atmosphere. 70k is a respectable word count for a book like this.

Joe

• • •

Who is this guy on your blog saying that hospitals don’t use cell phone jammers? He isn’t right is he?

Blake

• • •

Upon further study, he may be right. But that’s a quick fix. We used that device because we didn’t want people calling for help, but now it doesn’t matter because help is coming anyway.

I’ll kill it in the sample and reupload the file.

Joe

• • •

Just changed the jammer in the sample and the main manuscript, and uploaded it to Kindle. At the beginning of the sample I had a disclaimer saying it was uncorrected proofs, so it won’t matter. We owe that guy a beer.

Joe

• • •

Apparently I was misinformed, and hospitals don’t use cell phone jammers. I changed it in the sample and the final manuscript.

This is actually a good development. Now Shanna can call Clay when he goes back into the hospital to help Randall, so they can have a tense goodbye scene on the phone. Randall can also call the TV station and tell them to bring the helicopter to the roof.

The point of not wanting cell phones is because we didn’t want the cops to come early. But they came early anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

Joe

• • •

I researched cell jammers for Cherry Bomb and could swear they were used on airplanes. But apparently I was wrong, because if they were used it would crash the plane. My bad.

The measure of a man is not only being able to admit when he’s wrong, but being grateful to those who point it out.

BTW, I think all of you are consistently wrong about everything.

Joe

• • •

You spelled “Killborn” wrong on all of your books.

Jeff

• • •

You smell like cheese.

Joe

• • •

The Jenny/Lanz section is done. Now Randall needs to save her, and quick.

Joe

• • •

American Genocide is off to my agent…it’s draculas time!

Blake

September 12, 2010

I think I’m all right with this…question tho…need to iron out the whole helicopter helping out thing. If the Army is going to blow the place, would they even allow a helicopter to go near a contaminated site. Not saying it can’t happen, we just need to establish how it does.

Blake

• • •

Joe and I have been thinking that the only thing Draculas is missing are Hardy Boy/Nancy Drew-style illustrations. 5 of them, and the scenes we want to do are:

Benny the Clown being attack in the ER over the caption: “Oh no, I’m getting bitten…again!”

Oh God. Is that a…flamingo?

the wheelchair dracula chasing Randall

Oasis getting ready to munch on Grammy Ann and asking for her red candy

Clayton Theel and Shanna, heavily armed, kicking ass and taking names.

The artist, Carl (who did the killer cover) would do these for $XXXX apparently. Any objections, suggestions?

This would be the style:

http://bookshelvesofdoom.blogs.com/.a/6a00d8345169e469e20120a7544a31970b-pi

Blake

• • •

Dunno how I missed the birth scene, Blake. Beautifully done.

Joe

• • •

Thanks. Just finished reading Jenny v. Lanz…truly vile, brother. I must have grimaced at least a dozen times. Self amputation…eeewwww. Great scene. I’m not sure if it should be cut up or presented as one long sequence.

Jeff and Paul - read your new stuff too. bravo. Excellent work. We’re hitting a really nice balance of horror and laughs. I think if we can tease out a little more suspense in the final polish this thing will be firing on all cylinders. Something truly horrific, truly scary, and truly funny. A tall order, but we’re getting there.

Blake

• • •

I like the scene. I think it’s necessary to establish how Benny knows to use alcohol (also rounds out his backstory a little bit). It is jarring tho. I think we’ll have to see how it hangs with the other scenes on a final review.

Blake

• • •

It’s almost 6k words, plus it’s really intense, so I think we should divide the scene up. There’s so much going on at once, readers will want to check in with other characters.

• • •

Still up? I’m almost done with a 1st pass at Shanna’s explanation.

Blake

• • •

Shanna dracula backstory Paul 4.0 is up…still needs a little polishing but it’s getting there. I love how all these draculas myths are rolled into one package that kind of makes sense if you don’t stare at it too hard. Paul, I renamed your new files just to make it clear what’s what in advance of putting everything into the big manuscript documents at the end of the week.

Blake

• • •

Jeff 6.1 — great scene — absurd and terrifying — and smooth segue into Clay vs Randall. I added that Randall spots Clay with a frightened looking woman, since Shanna’s in the next scene. Hope I didn’t throw you a curve by giving Randall a gun. It’s got only 4 shots, but if it messes your plans, I can go back and have him refuse it.

Jenny 1.0 this is one intense piece. In a way it’s already broken up by shifts in POV.

brain defibrillation — resetting Lanz’s thought processes like ECT — very clever.

A couple of quibbles:

Randall was a rock. He was also one of the most reassuring, nurturing people she’d ever known — this doesn’t jibe with his history of drunken rampages — doesn’t sound like a guy she’d divorce. Maybe now that he’s stopped drinking, she realizes he’s once again the guy she fell in love with.

and the Tea Party was populated by morons. — gratuitous and political, no? Definitely has its share of morons, but I’ve got some loyal readers involved in the movement (my Ron Paul contingent) and they’re anything but.

Stacie 4.0 — very moving; the turn at the end is unsettling. (I changed vernex to vernix)

Paul

• • •

Nice. A painless, concise explanation, but is it done?

“He carries the virus that makes the vaccine.”

I hear Clay saying. “Vaccine? You mean like a shot?”

Paul

• • •

Re: draculas illustrations: No objections whatsoever. That sounds like a fantastic idea.

Jeff

• • •

You’re right, Paul, it was political and gratuitous. I thought it spoke to her character. But I’ll cut it. What’s another group of people I can call stupid that won’t annoy fans that Jenny would dislike?

As for the Randall drinking thing, good catch. I think we can compromise. I want Jenny to leave him because he’s not the brightest bulb, and she wants more. That could include him hitting the bars and getting arrested for fighting and drunk and disorderly. But I don’t see him as the type who would ever be violent toward her, even if he has a violent streak.

So we can have Clay arrest him at various bars around town, and have him know Jenny because she kept bailing his dumb ass out. That means I’ll add his drinking problem to Jenny’s list of things she can’t stand about him, and Clay can feel sorry for her that she has had to put up with such a loser.

Joe

• • •

Nice job on the infodump scene, Blake. I agree it needs to be smoothed out—it’s too on the nose.

Can I take a crack at it?

Joe

• • •

You’re right, Paul, it was political and gratuitous. I thought it spoke to her character. But I’ll cut it. What’s another group of people I can call stupid that won’t annoy fans that Jenny would dislike?

The Klan? The Taliban?

As for the Randall drinking thing, good catch. I think we can compromise. I want Jenny to leave him because he’s not the brightest bulb, and she wants more.

Shanna’s problem with Clay is she wants more too. Too similar?

That could include him hitting the bars and getting arrested for fighting and drunk and disorderly. But I don’t see him as the type who would ever be violent toward her, even if he has a violent streak.

So we can have Clay arrest him at various bars around town, and have him know Jenny because she kept bailing his dumb ass out. That means I’ll add his drinking problem to Jenny’s list of things she can’t stand about him, and Clay can feel sorry for her that she has had to put up with such a loser.

Well, I never saw him being violent to her, just breaking stuff.

How about he was a sweet guy when they married; the drink got control and brought out his dark side. She couldn’t take it anymore and dumped him. It’s a nice arc for her to go from thinking he’s still the jerk she divorced when they meet in the ER, to slowly realize that he’s been serious about sobering up and that he’s back to the sweet guy she married. (Yeah, I split an infinitive - sue me.)

Paul

• • •

Yeah, that’s stronger. Jeff and I can tweak his drinking problem in the rewrite, make it more of a main issue between them.

Then the fact that he cut the back of his leg could be Jenny believing he was drinking on the job, when it really was just stupidity.

And the reason he could have begun drinking is because he felt inferior to his smarter wife.

Jeff? Work for you?

Joe

• • •

Yep, that completely works.

Are we going to add a disclaimer to the book saying that people who read the free sample are required to start over from the beginning? :)

Jeff

• • •

Please, take a crack at sanding out the rough edges. What I really love (and maybe you work on) is the idea that because Mort is from this bloodline, and because he essentially infected himself with the same strand that hit Oswald, the virus can manifest differently in him. He contains the cure within himself, only it’s a cure that makes him a functioning (and infinitely more terrifying dracula). This is getting above my medical expertise pay grade, so hopefully Paul can make sure I haven’t completely fucked up my basic understanding of virus and antibody. And yes, Paul, I think the scene definitely goes on with Clay saying “You mean a shot?” Please feel free to tweak any of the dialogue I assigned to him.

Blake

• • •

I uploaded a couple of pages of Clay 5.0 — a scene done purely for visual impact — but I don’t know where to go from there. Does Clay reconnect with Randall next or does he blunder into the Adam-Stacie story? Eventually he has to help Adam end it all.

Maybe I’ll write him setting up Adam’s farewell scene and work on the timing and connections later. I’m on a roll here and don’t want to lose momentum.

Paul

• • •

Paul - I’m writing my Adam scene right now. Not sure if he connects with Randall first (I’m thinking not), but Clayton does blunder into my story. He can be on the third floor, near the birthplace, (trying to find a way to the roof?) and hear screams coming from the maternity ward. He busts in and sees my minister out in the hallway fighting with Oasis (and losing). saves the day. Stacie by this point will be in bed, hooked up to a blood transfusion, and he can help them get out of there. Nurse Herrick will be turning into a draculas by this point too (Oasis bit her) so maybe he can put her down as well. There’s also a single mother on the wing who just gave birth to a baby dracula (oasis has been on a tear). If you want to work that scene up, I’ll work on Adam going to get blood for his wife, and lay the groundwork of Oasis running rampant through the birthplace while he’s away. Sound good?

Blake

• • •

Let me see what you do and I’ll jump in. But you do plan to have Adam bitten, right?

Paul

• • •

For sure.

And here’s my outline plan…

Adam 4.0 (almost done) will end with him leaving the mat ward to go get blood.

Herrick 1.0 will be her beginning to treat Stacie, and then oasis shows up and wreaks havoc, she gets bitten but scares O off.

Adam 5.0 - will be Adam goes down to the blood bank with only a scalpel to retrieve blood bags for Stacie, is chased, almost killed, but makes it back to the ER.

Oasis 4.0 - short, Oasis pissed, trying to figure out how to kill an adult.

Adam 6.0 - Adam returns to the ward with the blood and Herrick gets Stacie hooked up, but she starts to feel bad and leaves (they haven’t seen these things turn so they don’t know what the symptoms mean. Adam starts to comfort his wife and take care of his newborn daughter when Oasis shows up. Minister vs. 8-year-old dracula girl…can’t wait to write this scene. Just as O is getting ready to overpower him, Clay arrives. (but Adam is bitten). I think Herrick can show back up after this at some point after clay arrives for a big scare.

Blake

• • •

Very cool. Is Stacy going to make it? If not, I have uses for that blood.

Paul

• • •

Not sure yet…my thought is she’s touch-and-go as Clay and Adam roll her and the baby out of the maternity ward and they go in search of a way to get on the roof. But Adam is bringing back tons of blood bags. He’s going to use them like grenades.

Blake

• • •

Sounds awesome. But don’t have Adam bitten until he’s on the roof.

Joe

• • •

Are elevators working?

Blake

• • •

No elevators. Are you thinking Adam has a cart for the blood?

Joe

• • •

How about this for Randall, since the outlines thus far don’t really address what’s going to happen with the kids in pediatrics.

He reaches pediatrics just as Benny is attacking. Randall is absolutely pissed beyond belief that the clown has his chainsaw. Benny loses the fight, and Randall gets his beloved chainsaw back.

They need to get the kids out. With Randall in the front, carving up every dracula that comes at them, and Jenny in the back, they move through the hospital as a group. The noise attracts more draculas, but that’s fine, because Randall is ready to saw up as many of those things as will come at him. He’s feeling alive.

They make it outside the hospital. There’s a news van out there. Randall gets the kids into the back of the van…but Jenny isn’t with them anymore. A dracula grabbed her. The van drives off with the kids, but Randall has to go back into the hospital. He saves Jenny again, but his chainsaw dies, and now there are too many creatures in the lobby, feasting on the dismembered corpses of their fellow draculas. They need another way out. Which connects us back to the idea of going to the roof…

Jeff

• • •

No, just wanted to know what options he’s got. Nurse Herrick just gave him the most convoluted directions to the blood bank in history. Of course, it’s in the basement. I’m actually afraid for him.

Blake

• • •

@ Jeff - That works for me. Or they can meet with Clay and Adam in the hall and all go up together. If Jenny dies get separated, I need a lead dracula to terrorize her.

@ Blake - Is Adam going to kill Oasis? Or will he balk at killing a child? Also, Adam will have an overnight bag for the hospital stay. He can fill a wheeled suitcase with blood packs.

Joe

• • •

Adam 4.0 up…may need to do an accuracy polish later on what’s happening with Stacie medically.

Blake

• • •

You can give Adam an iPad, which he reads the bible on. That could be his light. Or just a regular book light, for late night gospel reading. He’ll need something in the basement.

Joe

• • •

Joe, cool. Jenny doesn’t need to be separated for long—basically, she’s not there when Randall gets outside with the kids, but he finds her again fairly quickly after he gets back inside. She’s had her big showdown with Lanz, so I think it’s fine to keep it all in Randall’s POV until they’re back together, heading upstairs.

Jeff

• • •

Herrick 1.0 is up…on to Adam’s journey into the basement.

Blake

• • •

I did a quick draft of this to get it out of my system.

When Adam pulls the trigger, it would be nice to have a POV character see the windows blow out from the parking lot.

Paul

• • •

I’ll read it right now. Oasis 4.0 is up…short scene in the maternity ward.

Blake

• • •

Paul, that’s beautiful. I can see this all coming together now. There will be a touching scene between Adam and Stacie right before Randall takes Stacie and the baby up to the roof. She’ll be back into consciousness, holding their daughter, blood flowing into her, and Adam is leaving them, infected, to go with Randall to kill these monsters. I fucking LOVE this.

Blake

• • •

I head Adam on the roof: “I can’t turn into one of these abominations. I won’t!”

Clay: “That can be arranged.”

Paul

• • •

That was I hear Adam…

Sheesh

Paul

• • •

I think this is the first time I’m really catching a glimpse of how this thing is going to wrap up, of seeing the sum of the parts, and it’s truly exciting. Gonna be a helluva book.

Blake

• • •

Adam 5.0 is up…which is halfway through his journey into hell.

Blake

• • •

Jeff 7.0 is up…wherein the lumberjack and the clown and set up for their final confrontation.

Jeff

• • •

Going way back to the beginning of the process, I was very happy to see Blake’s glorious “intestines stuck in the drawer” sequence. I thought “Sweet! We get to have FUN with this thing!”

Jeff

• • •

I’m reading this and laughing while I’m worrying about Randall. Together the 4 of us have created, I think, the paradigm of balancing horror and humor. I armed Randall with the ultimate hand weapon, and you, Jeff (you should add, btw, something about its awesome recoil) have used incidents from previous chapters to render it useless against Benny.

Paul

September 13, 2010

Paul, I’m redoing the infodump scene, trying to make it less on the nose. It begins with Clay and Shanna in the stairwell, and Shanna isn’t packing heat.

Did I miss something, or in the previous scene was Shanna gung-ho about carrying a weapon, and refused to give it back?

Joe

• • •

It didn’t ring true, so I’m going to change it when we go back for fix-ups.

Paul

• • •

It’s possible there’s so much info to dump that you should spread it over several Shanna/Clay scenes.

Blake

• • •

There’s a scene with Shanna alone in the chapel where she’s trying to reconcile some of what she knows with what she’s seen (ie, the monster wearing Mort’s pants/belt). You could start the exposition there, maybe have her interrupted by Clay’s calling her name through the intercom. Then finish the exposition on the stairwell.

Paul

• • •

Jeff 8.0 is up…The heartfelt reunion of a man and his chainsaw.

Jeff

September 14, 2010

I caught up on everyone’s new chapters last night. Good shit, guys. I also added a little something to the info dump scene. Still think it needs to be broken out into the chapel scene. Maybe I’ll look at that today if Joe can’t get to it.

I just have to write the Adam v. Oasis scene which will end with Clayton Theel killing some draculas on the verge of breaking into the maternity ward, saving Adam et al., and I think we’ll be ready to put the finale together.

My plan is to add all the new stuff to the existing manuscript once I write this last scene and have my folks meet up with Clayton. Then we can dive into the finale.

One more scene before we hit the finale, will have Randall, Jeff, Jenny and the kids meet up and decide to head for the roof because Clay can flag down a television helicopter. On the way, Clay can hear human screams in the maternity ward, and he can go and get Adam, Stacie, and their baby. Then all our characters are together heading for the roof, draculas chasing them because the army is storming the place, etc.

Who’s writing the next Jenny/Randall/Clayton scene?

Also, should we talk start talking about who writes what for the final scenes?

Blake

• • •

So can we get the pediatrics kids into a helicopter and off to safety? I’m all in favor of killing young children in my fiction (“With that scene in Pressure, you’ve just lost 35% of your audience.” — Joseph Konrath) but I think Randall needs to save these kids and a camera crew needs to see him doing it.

The plan was for him to get them out through the main entrance, but Randall has to go back because Jenny was grabbed by a dracula, and their own escape is cut off, forcing the roof plan. But if we can get the kids out with a helicopter on the roof (which then has no room for the others), I can still have Randall chainsawing draculas left and right as he leads the kids to safety, but get us closer to the finale quicker.

Jeff

• • •

Do it, and hells yes, save the kids. Have Randall put them on a helicopter…(so they can be sick and die in peace…love that line)…

Here’s the part of Joe’s outline that I agree with…

“Randall rescues her. Tearful reunion. Then they’re surrounded by draculas. Randall fights off a bunch with his saw, but he’s outnumbered. Gets bitten. Clay comes in with the boom boom, clears the path. Threatens to kill Randall. Jenny won’t let him. They go, with the kids, to the roof because Clay thinks he can flag down the TV helicopter. Along the way they meet up with Adam, Stacie, and the baby. Army shows up. Begins to massacre draculas, causing all of them to flee—running up the stairs. Everyone on the roof. Randall begins to change. He and Jenny express love. Randall becomes a dracula and starts kicking ass.”

After this, I think it changes a little. Let’s have Randall getting the kids on the chopper, along with Stacie’s baby, after she’s killed and Adam wounded (another heartbreaking, scene…Adam saying goodbye to his daughter).

While Randall gets the kids onto the chopper, Clay and Adam go down to the room with the grenades, and we have Adam’s death scene as he takes out a tons of draculas.

Back on the roof, Randall is wounded and dying. Jenny stays with him.

WHAT IS CLAY DOING? HOW DOES THIS END FOR HIM? I’M NOT SURE IF HE’S JUMPING ONTO THE HELICOPTER SKIDS ANYMORE WITH HE ADAM GOING BACK INTO THE HOSPITAL.

Adam blows up, making meat confetti. Jenny tell Randall she loves him. He dies. Just as she’s surrounded, the army drops a bomb.

Shanna sees the explosion. Watches the helicopter come. Clay isn’t on it. She weeps. Meets another survivor. Young guy. He’s calm and a bit flirtatious.

DOES CLAY SURVIVE? REUNION WITH SHANNA?

Survivor gets baby. It’s Mort.

Thoughts?

Blake

• • •

Sounds fantastic. And Randall’s chainsaw and screams of “Die, draculas, die!!!” could attract the other survivors, helping to bring our group together.

Jeff

• • •

Real suspense there, Blake — even though I knew he’d survive.

I’m gonna dive back in 1st thing tomorrow.

Paul

• • •

Thanks, Paul, glad it clicked for you…let’s shoot to have the finale set up by say Thursday, and I can then get working on assembling everything we’ve got so far into the manuscript. I think I know what I need to do…Jeff, Paul, can you guys have your characters (and Jenny) poised for the finale by then? I think I’ve got the biggest part to write, so we’re pretty close already.

Blake

• • •

Clay and Randall/Jenny need to hook up relatively quickly, since otherwise my characters would think to go down to the lobby, not up to the roof. (An intercom message might work, but Randall is holding a loud chainsaw, and Clay wouldn’t know that the draculas can’t understand his message.)

If Paul sets up the idea that Clay is going to the roof, and ends his bit with Clay on the third floor, seeing Randall put his chainsaw through a random dracula, I can take it to wherever Blake wants me to leave off.

As for POV after that, the actual “children in the helicopter” rescue needs to be Randall’s POV, since it’s his big moment of redemption. That scene will end with Clay pointing out that Randall has been bitten.

I think the scene with Clay threatening to shoot him should be Jenny’s POV.

Jeff

• • •

I think we need to bring in some of the characters perhaps seeing lights from the helicopter sweeping across the building, maybe the roadblock out in the parking lot a little earlier…I may try to work that in when I assemble everything.

Blake

• • •

Cell phones work. Clay could call the TV station, have them land the copter.

Joe

September 15, 2010

Sayonara, Adam.

I added a scene with Shanna in the parking lot with the army and a mysterious Dr. Driscoll. You may or may not like the implication I’m making toward the end of her scene. If not, we’ll cut it. It’s only a few lines.

Paul

• • •

I went in and changed Shanna’s sudden embrace of gunnydom to a refusal to carry one. She was too upset with killing Marge.

I carried some of that over to Adam’s final moments. He realizes none of the people these creatures came from chose to be this way, and so he forgives them before he blows them all to smithereens.

Paul

• • •

Can’t wait to catch up on this, guys. Working on another deadline. Sorry I’ve been out of the loop for a bit.

Blake is going to put this section together, then I’ll go in and add Jenny scenes when needed, including the “say goodbye to Randall” scene and the “don’t shoot Randall” scene, along with her death scene when the army drops the bomb on the hospital, assuming we’re still going that route.

Joe

• • •

nice, can’t wait to read…Paul, I think you can probably dive into your last scene before I merge all the most recent stuff…I’ll set it for you. Clayton and Randall are running up to the roof with Jenny and the kids, and as they pass one long corridor, they hear human screams. Clay says you go on ahead, I’ll meet you up there. Clay runs down the corridor, finds 4 draculas have just about broken through the barricade into the maternity ward (enough so he’ll be able to get in). He smokes them. Runs inside himself. this is what he sees…(where I’ll end the section I’m currently writing):

Adam on the floor of the corridor near the nurses’ station on the verge of being devoured by Oasis, another teen dracula is watching them. she just gave birth to a baby dracula, a huge hole in her stomach where the baby-dracula ate its way out.

Clayton kills those three draculas, saves Adam. Quick down beat, then Nurse Herrick dracula (nice out-of-nowhere scare) attacks and Clay wastes her. Then Clay leads and Adam wheels Stacie (still unconscious and mid-transfusion) out of the maternity ward, with his child (who was in the nursery) in his arm. sound good?

Blake

• • •

Which floor is pediatrics?

Which floor is OB?

Paul

• • •

I kind of like it, especially the idea the army has seen this before…what are you thinking? that this is the last we’ll see of Shanna?

Blake

• • •

OB - 3

Pediatrics - 2

Blake

• • •

Not necessarily. I’m thinking some government agency knows about this virus, and has either been tracking it down or working with their own strain of the thing. They know they can’t let it loose. That’s why they’re so quick to firebomb the building.

I don’t think we have to explain more. If we decide on a sequel, it’s a plot point we can expand or leave in the background. But it hints that this is bigger than we thought. Even Moorecook, who thinks he’s in charge, might be a minor player on this stage.

Paul

• • •

perfect.

I’ll just continue Clay 5.0. Clay is heading down the steps, sees Randall coming up with the kids and Jenny from 2. Takes the rear. I’ll get him onto the 3rd (OB) floor on the way up.

Paul

• • •

I’m all for it.

Blake

• • •

“perfect. I’ll just continue Clay 5.0. Clay is heading down the steps, sees Randall coming up with the kids and Jenny from 2. Takes the rear. I’ll get him onto the 3rd (OB) floor on the way up.”

So Jeff, just get Randall and Jenny and the kids heading up out of pediatrics, and they can run into Clayton.

Blake

• • •

Will do!

Jeff

• • •

Do you guys have scans of your signatures? I think it’d be a nice touch for the title page. If not, no worries.

Blake

• • •

No, but how much trouble can it be to scan one?

Paul

• • •

You’re right. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Jeff

• • •

I’m voting against signature scans.

While in Florida I saw a technology that allowed authors to actually sign ebooks. I expect it to be commonplace in a year or two. To have fake signatures is like those Nora Roberts autopen signed books—it doesn’t add value, plus it ruins the potential for a real signature when the technology arrives.

Joe

• • •

Joe, I’m enrolling you in OA — overthinkers anonymous.

Paul

• • •

I can’t accept that enrollment until I think about it for a while.

Paul

• • •

Okay so it’s 2 in favor of signature scans, 2 opposed.

Now each side submits one representative, and those two fight to death.

The victor will get to make the call.

Blake

• • •

Btw, Paul will be representing the pro-signature side in the death match.

Blake

• • •

I’m starting to add everything into Draculas 2.4 tonight, with the exception of Paul’s Clay and Adam 7.2 and Jeff’s 9.0. Jeff, you’ve got a tiny scene to write to meet up your crew with Clayton, and Paul is just about done as well with having Clayton bust into the maternity ward. I’ll add those final scenes when you guys finish. It’s looking great.

Blake

September 16, 2010

DRACULAS 2.4 is up…We’re over 63,000 words. I moved our old files into the old folder, and still kept Jeff’s 9.0 and Paul’s Clay, Adam, and Shanna 7.2. It took a little work to put everything together since certain characters cross each others’ paths, but I’m shocked at how well it came together. The rhythm of it seems right on to me. Please go into 2.4 and make sure I haven’t messed up any timelines or anything and that everyone digs the order of scenes.

Joe, maybe Maria wants to read the new stuff?

Here’s how I think it all plays out:

1. Jeff links Randall up with Clay (and Paul’s already written the scene when they meet up en route to the roof)…Jeff just extend from the last scene with Randall in 2.4…it’s like a couple paragraphs at most I think.

2. Joe needs to look at the Randall/Jenny reunion final scene in 2.4 and decide if he wants to add a scene from Jenny’s POV where she says she loves him, etc.

3. Clay goes into maternity ward per earlier email, kills everything, and leaves with my couple and their baby.

(I’ve made bolded notes in 2.4 where these scenes need to go…just use the search function and search for the asterisks in the manuscript*)

Let’s brainstorm in the next day or so about the order of scenes and from whose POV they’re written to wrap up the big finale.

Blake

• • •

It’s now 2.5. I gave it a quick read and corrected a few typos and corrected one of my movie quotes.

Blake — I fear you’ve done too much damage to Adam for him to be good for anything. A fractured humerus makes that arm good for nothing, and we need him helping get Stacie upstairs and stacking chairs and spilling blood later on.

Jeff — can we draw out Benny’s death just a tad more? He’s been such a great nemesis, I feel he needs little more drama - I’m talking maybe a dozen words or so. And maybe a drawn-out fart before he goes…I mean, making a clown a human whoopee cushion is kind of appropriate, yes?

BTW, how DO we get Stacie up to the roof?

WHAT IS CLAY DOING? HOW DOES THIS END FOR HIM? I’M NOT SURE IF HE’S JUMPING ONTO THE HELICOPTER SKIDS ANYMORE WITH HE ADAM GOING BACK INTO THE HOSPITAL.

Adam blows up, making meat confetti. Jenny tell Randall she loves him. He dies. Just as she’s surrounded, the army drops a bomb.

Shanna sees the explosion.

We cut away after that.

Back to Shanna later: Watches the helicopter come. Clay isn’t on it. She weeps.

Meets another survivor. Young guy. He’s calm and a bit flirtatious.

How about he’s dressed in scrubs? Looks vaguely familiar. (We need to set up that Mort’s changing back to human. He goes to doctors lounge for clean clothes - we don’t need to see him putting on scrubs)

Shanna’s in isolation in the trailer. She watches copter rescue and the hospital’s fiery demolition through the 1-inch glass window. The 4 kids are brought in. Dr. Driscoll hands her the baby (“I don’t do babies.”) Then a young guy shows up in scrubs. Says he’s Dr. Michaels, a pediatrician. He’ll take care of the squalling baby. When Driscoll returns, Shanna learns there is no Dr. Michaels.

DOES CLAY SURVIVE? REUNION WITH SHANNA?

I see Clay leaving Adam, rushing up to the roof and finding the stairwell clogged with draculas. Okay, he’ll find another way out. But as he’s passing the pediatrics floor, he’s compelled to detour and find his beloved Taurus Raging Bull (which Randall told him he left behind). He finds it, and as he’s cradling it, the hospital explodes around him. I like the contrast of him saving the human love of his life but dying while attempting to rescue a non-human love.

Paul

• • •

Nice job, everyone.

I did a global search-and-replace to unify all the punctuation, and saved it as 2.6. I’ll write the Jenny/Randall Reunion, then stick it in there.

I’ll also throw it on my wife’s Kindle and see if she digs it so far. So everyone please stay out of 2.6 for the time being while I work on it this morning. When I’m done I’ll save it as 2.7.

If Blake and Jeff want to add to their scenes as Paul suggested, you guys need to do it one at a time and coordinate so you don’t save different versions.

@Paul - I used the “my middle name is” joke with Clay during the infodump scene. I figure Clay’s daddy gave him the middle name “Rambo”, as a survivalist very well might. We could save that punch line until Clay does the “Careful” line at the end of your section, or we could kill it if you don’t like it.

Joe

• • •

Randall bit Benny…so he’s already infected.

Paul

• • •

Paul, Adam’s injury concerned me as well, and started to really get on my nerves because I had to mention it constantly…I’ll go back into 2.whatever it is later tonight, and dial that back to a bruise or something so he can be ready to help Clay…and re: getting Stacie up to the roof…it’s just one flight, so I think maybe they’ll have to struggle to carry her stretcher and the (blood-transfusion stand thingy - what do they call those?)

I like your thoughts on Clay’s journey to the end. I’m for it.

Re: Moorecook…here’s where we need some magic…I love what Joe did earlier, implying he was undergoing some change, but I don’t want to telegraph that he’s truly changing back to human…maybe we need an ambiguous Mort section, (Joe?) hinting that he’s undergoing a reverse metamorphoses, but nothing anyone would suspect might lead him back to full on external humanity.

So after this young pediatric doctor has taken the baby, perhaps we have a scene in his POV (I know exactly how to do it), and only in the last paragraph do we realize this is Mort, heading back out into the world.

Blake

• • •

works for me

Paul

• • •

I was planning on doing the exact Mort/change scene you describe, Blake, right after the Jenny scene I’m working on.

Will be done in a bit, and add it to the manuscript.

Joe

• • •

You could dunk a cross in a pool of urine while environmentalists burned the American flag and Randall would not have been more outraged than he was at the sight of Benny the Clown holding his precious chainsaw.

Awesome line, Jeff.

Joe

• • •

Funny how Jeff and I both have adult male characters in love with their toys.

Paul

• • •

And they’re also able to provide their women with the best sex they’ve ever had in their lives!

Jeff

• • •

In the dropbox. Added the Jenny scene and the Moorecook scene, extended the Randall saves Jenny scene for a bit more emotional impact, and made a few minor fixes.

Randall doesn’t get bitten. He’s going to change because he swallowed some of Benny. That’ll start to happen once they’re on the roof.

As for getting Shanna up the stairs, I’m thinking a piggy-back, which would be rough enough that she’d lose more blood than she’s getting from the IV. Pretty extreme stuff, having a woman on your back who is sluicing blood down her legs. That could be how she dies…

Joe

• • •

We know you mean Stacie — I’ll get them all to the roof (via Clay) and maybe Blake can take the switch to Adam’s POV when he realizes she’s gone.

Paul

• • •

Exactly, but don’t kill her quite yet…make her almost dead, but conscious. I want Stacie and Adam to have a nice last moment. I can’t believe we’re putting this nice couple through this.

Blake

• • •

LOL. Yeah, Stacie.

This is funny, because in your new section you just called Shanna “Jenny.”

I say we just call every character by the sexually ambiguous name “Chris” and let the readers sort it out…

Joe

• • •

Draculas 2.8 is up wherein Adam’s arm is no longer broken.

Blake

• • •

Just put up Clay 5.2 (cont) which picks up where Clay 5.2 cut off.

It ends with Clay, Stacie, Adam, and Daniella on the stairs, heading for the roof. I’m handing off to Blake to pick up as they emerge onto the roof.

Paul

• • •

Nice scenes, Paul.

Okay, here’s where we’re all at:

Jeff, you next scene is Randall going up the stairs, protecting the kids. They’re walking up four flights with Clay, Stacie, et all. Randall will take the rear, keeping the draculas back. When he gets to the roof, he and Clay barricade the door. Then Randall loses one of his teeth.

Blake, your next scene is Stacie dying of blood loss once she gets to the roof. Adam says goodbye to her.

My scene is Jenny seeing Randall’s missing tooth, and watching him lose another. As the draculas are breaking in, Clay wants to shoot Randall. Jenny won’t let him. Randall insists he’ll fight it.

Jeff, your scene is Randall’s transformation. As a full blooded dracula, with a chainsaw, he kills a few dozen.

While that’s happening, Paul, Clay is loading on the four boys onto the chopper. During the evac, Adam gets bitten.

Blake, Adam knows what being bitten means. He says goodbye to his daughter, gives them to the TV people. Asks Clay for his gun, wanting to kill as many of them as possible. Clay says, “I’ve got a better idea—why not kill them all?”

My scene: Randall is mortally wounded. Clay and Adam walk by, tell Jenny the chopper is ready. Jen says she’s staying. Chopper takes off.

Clay and Adam setting the bombs is already written. Paul, need a quick scene of Clay running like hell for a window just as the explosion happens.

My last scene with Jenny. Randall dies. Jenny looks up at the Army, which has arrived. Big old bomb drops on the hospital.

Wrap up.

Joe

• • •

Nicely done, Joe, this is super helpful…don’t forget Clay’s death scene…I think you have your work cut out for you convincing me Jenny stays on the roof to die with Randall, tho. There’s no way he’s going to let her do that.

So only Shanna, Mort, and baby Murray survive?

That’s kind of cool…I want to really hint strongly in the final scene that, even though Shanna is grieving for Clay, there’s this connection with this new doctor. She’s crying, he embraces her. Something familiar about him. How cool would it be if Mort gets the girl in the end, and she doesn’t know it’s him?

Blake

• • •

Paul’s dispatching of Oasis…I think we have a winner in the most disgusting disturbing, carve-your-eyes-out-with a grapefruit spoon moment in a book chockfull of them. Well done, sir. This scene kicked major ass.

Blake

• • •

Sounds good. I’ll be able to upload much chainsaw mayhem tomorrow.

Jeff

• • •

Don’t ask me where that came from…I don’t want to know. Really.

Paul

• • •

Here’s an expansion, plus some tweaks that take into account timelines, etc. of what Joe passed around earlier today. I also put this in the dropbox. Thoughts? We okay with this?

GUIDE TO WRITING THE END — a lot of these are short short scenes, and I’ve broken it out like this to help me assemble it all in the end.

PAUL: Kickass scene where Clay saves Adam, Stacie and baby and gets them heading up toward the roof — already written.

JEFF: Randall going up the stairs, protecting the kids. They’re walking up four flights. Randall will take the rear, keeping the draculas back. They approach the roof, but don’t get there yet in this scene…Randall loses one of his teeth.

BLAKE: Stacie, Adam, baby and Clay arrive on the roof. Randall and Jenny are already there. Clay goes off to help Randall bar the door, and then help Jenny with the kids and the copter. Stacie’s death scene. Adam says goodbye.

JOE: Jenny seeing Randall’s missing tooth, and watching him lose another. As the draculas are finally arriving at the barricaded door, beginning to beat on it, Clay wants to shoot Randall. Jenny won’t let him. Randall insists he’ll fight it.

JEFF: Randall’s transformation. Draculas break through, and as a full blooded dracula, with a chainsaw, he kills a few dozen.

BLAKE: Adam is attacked in the chaos while he’s mourning over Stacie, Adam gets bitten trying to protect her body, Randall chainsaws another dracula and saves Adam from being torn apart.

PAUL: While that’s happening, Clay is helping to load the four boys onto the chopper, still holding Adam’s daughter, Daniella. The first wave of Draculas have been killed, a moment of quiet on the roof.

BLAKE: Adam knows what being bitten means. He goes to Clay, takes his daughter, says goodbye, then gives them to the TV people. Asks Clay for his gun, wanting to kill as many of the draculas as possible, and then kill himself before he turns. Clay says, “Actually, that can be arranged.”

JOE: Randall is mortally wounded. Clay and Adam walk over, tell Jenny the chopper is ready. Jen says she’s staying until he’s gone (important: she isn’t saying I’m going to stay up here and die with you, she expects to be picked up when the chopper comes back and Randall’s gone). Chopper takes off. Set up that she expects to see the friendly TV chopper again…hahahha.

PAUL: Clay and Adam setting the bombs as already written and Adam’s death scene as it all goes up (from his detonation)

JOE: Last scene with Jenny. Randall dies. Draculas are running up the stairs again. Hears Adam’s explosion. Jenny thinks the TV helicopter has returns, looks up, but it’s an Army helicopter. BUT DON’T EXPLAIN WHAT THE CHOPPER IS DOING. Maybe she just sees the soldiers lug something out of the chopper, and it lands with a big thud on the helipad and cracks the cement and then the chopper pulls quickly away. - but no explosion yet.

PAUL: Scene with Shanna in the parking lot seeing the 1st (Adam) explosion and talking with creepy Dr. Driscoll. I’d like it to end with her seeing the helicopter going up to the hospital (as she’s being dragged toward quarantine — but are we sure about this because how will Mort reach her in quarantine? What if Driscoll gives her a choice: Quarantine for 24 hours or a painful test (I’ll let you figure out the details, Paul) which will tell instantly if she’s infected. I like the idea that this infection is already very much on the Army’s radar) and asking are they rescuing more people? One of the soldiers, or maybe Driscoll smirks and says, “Not exactly.”

JOE: Super short, like two or three sentence scene where Jenny approaches the big gray sphere of metal that has landed on the helipad.

PAUL: Clayton fuckin’ Theel’s death. Goes back down for his Tauras, instead of running out to safety when he could’ve made it) and big, big boom.

PAUL: We see the hospital blow from Shanna’s POV, and then…

six hours later - dawn

SHANNA: the hospital a smoking pile of rubble…Shanna still in shock. Clayton hasn’t come out. She knows. The army is done with her but she can’t make herself leave. Place is still crawling with media and army and law enforcement. She sees a young, attractive man (younger than she is) in scrubs, his face blackened, holding a little baby. This pulls her out of her heartbreak, briefly. She approaches him…I think we know where this is going…

Blake

• • •

Nice work, Blake.

I like everything, but I’m still not sure why Clay has to die. I still like a final scene where he crawls out of the rubble, his Taurus in his hand.

Or at least make it ambiguous if he died or not, so we could use him again if needed.

Everything else I’m 100% with.

Joe

• • •

I think you’ve got a point…Clayton might be my favorite character of the bunch. A helluvalotta fun. Paul, how strongly do you feel about killing him?

Blake

September 17, 2010

I like the symmetry of him dying with his beloved Taurus. But we can sort of have that cake and eat it too with a coda showing one of those search dogs sniffing out a survivor in the rubble who manages to say he’s deputy Clayton R. Theel.

Paul

• • •

As they start to pull the rubble off him, he hands them the Taurus. “Here. Take her first.”

Paul

• • •

That’s a problem we need to address. Even though we came at them independently, the couple dynamics of both relationships are too similar. We need to change that. The couple scenes strike me as repetitious.

Shanna and Clay have known each other only 6 weeks. It makes more sense for the physical part of their relationship to take a front seat. Clay is no dummy, but he has a very narrow range of interests. Shanna cares for Clay but doesn’t love him enough to marry him.

Randall and Jenny, OTOH, were married for years, and presumably had a courtship before the nuptials. They had a deeper relationship than sex before things went sour. Her cracks about his intelligence are a defense mechanism, a way to vent her anger at him for letting her down.

Jenny should be more focused on (and attracted/intrigued by) Randall’s return to the sweet guy she married. She loved him, he broke her heart by becoming a drunk, but now he’s pulled himself up by his bootstraps. At first she’s afraid to give into it, but she’s learning to love him even more. They had good sex, but that’s not what they were about, not what she misses — she misses the emotional attachment. She LOVES this guy.

So in other words, Randall and Jenny have a history and an arc. Clay and Shanna have neither.

Won’t take much - a little shading of the dialogue, a few extra lines of internal monologue here and there. I’m willing to go in and make the two couples more distinct.

Paul

• • •

Clay: “I might have a way to make it really count.”

Paul

• • •

I noticed that too, Paul. The funny thing was, we were writing similar dynamics independent of one another.

My original “fix” was to at once point have Jenny meet up with Shanna and explain that “Love means you gotta put up with them acting like cretins. All men are cretins. But if you can find one you love, you have to stick with it. I should have.”

That would’ve turned the Jenny/Randall relationship into an example/object lesson for Shanna. But Shanna and Jenny were separated too early and never reached that point.

If you want to go in and tweak it to make them more distinct, I’m all for it. But we should keep in mind that all relationships deal with issues like these.

As for Clay being found by rescue dogs, I really like that idea. Maria just read what we have so far, and expressed some strong opinions about who she wants to survive, which is pretty much “everybody.” Considering we’re killing off the majority of our main characters, having a few live might make this more palatable to the reading majority…

Joe

• • •

I think if you carry the Jenny/Randall dynamic I outlined into their final scene — she got the guy she loved back and now she’s losing him for good — it could tug at the heart strings.

While this is in my head, I’ll go into DRACULAS 2.8 now and turn it into 2.9

As for survivors, this is a horror novel - we’ve gotta have casualties. Lots of them.

Paul

• • •

Explain that to my wife when she cuts off the nookie. She’s a petty, vindictive reader who holds grudges against the artist.

I’m all for killing everybody, but I also want to have sex again.

Blake and I discussed your Dr. Driscoll, and we’re for it. It certainly sets up the sequel. But would Driscoll want the dracula bodies disposed of, or quickly packed in ice and whisked away to some undisclosed laboratory location?

I’m also fine with them putting Shanna into quarantine. Drag her off and experiment on her. Then, if Clay lives (perhaps now with an artificial leg where he stores ordnance) he can track her down and rescue her.

Joe

• • •

Driscoll would need only one body…and there’s the dead state cops right there in the parking lot.

Paul

• • •

If we’re talking full conspiracy theory here, they wouldn’t risk burning bodies and leaving either potential evidence or the chance for a foreign power to obtain DNA samples.

I’d think a team in full P4 containment suits, loading all biological matter into a refrigerated semi, a quick and dirty media blackout, a full sterilization of the area, and a quarantine of any survivors, and an instant cover story. Driscoll could even tell Shanna that she needs to be vaccinated against measles, as this was simply a measles outbreak and nothing more, against Shanna’s protestations.

If Driscoll knows about draculas, she’d know the danger of even leaving a cell of infected tissue on the scene, and flamethrowers don’t destroy teeth or bones.

Or not. Knowing our government, they might do a half-assed job cleaning this up. Then we could have some coyotes picking through the scraps, eating some infected flesh, and going werewolf Cujo on Durango…

Joe

• • •

This afternoon I added DRACULAS 2.10, which adds a few Randall paragraphs, and JEFF 9.0, the first “JEFF” scene described below.

Jeff

• • •

Fixed some typos. New version is 3.0.

I’m also doing an intervention for Jeff, to teach him how to count. Jeff is turning thirty-ten this month.

Joe

• • •

I didn’t think my changes warranted moving on to a new whole number, even though I added Paul’s requested fart joke.

And you got my birthday wrong, punk!

Jeff

• • •

You’re turning thirty-eleven?

Joe

• • •

Don’t feel bad. Blake is still in his mid teens.

Joe

• • •

Hey, I bought beer tonight and didn’t even get carded!

Blake

• • •

My birthday isn’t until December. So you’re all welcome to send me “It’s for your birthday AND Christmas!” presents.

Jeff

• • •

How about just some good wishes?

Blake

• • •

Just FYI, I have Adam emerging onto the pad and seeing Randall, Jenny, and the kids at the other end, standing at the edge and waving down toward a sea of flashing lights, yelling and trying to get someone’s attention. Since we’re all writing scenes that occur in the same place and time, we should probably keep apprised of what everyone else is doing.

Blake

• • •

How do we barricade the door to the helipad…any ideas? Big metal dumpster by the door? Some large piece of equipment they can use to briefly block the door?

Blake

September 18, 2010

With some swift kicks, the chainsaw, and some pushing and pulling, they could detach a few of the air conditioning units on the roof and stack those against the doors.

Joe

• • •

I’m adding to the end of this Clay section to make it consistent with the opening of Blake’s Adam 8.0 (to which I added one word from Clay: “Incoming!”)

Paul

September 19, 2010

Here’s how I see Clay’s roof scene. He’s got the kids and the baby. The TV copter is landing. The pilot sees a couple of draculas (attacking Adam maybe?) and suddenly decides landing is not such a good idea but Clay is there with the MM-1 and makes it very clear that the copter either lands or it flies off with a dead pilot at the stick. He puts the kids on board and Adam comes up to say good-bye to his daughter. We can switch to Adam’s POV here.

As for destroying the hospital, the army could drop a huge shaped charge onto the roof that will blast a plasma jet down through the floors (just like an antitank missile goes through layers of steel), frying everything within. Obviously, Clay won’t survive that.

Paul

• • •

Paul, this sounds great, and as always, your knowledge of ordnance, firearms, etc. is terrifying. Check out my Adam and Stacie scene first though, just to get a sense of what’s happening on the roof. The way it’s worked out, Adam will have his daughter in his arms when the draculas break through, get bitten, but then Randall saves him. At that point, Adam will walk over to Clayton and hand his baby over, knowing he’s been infected. It made sense for Adam, Stacie (and baby) to be together when she dies.

Blake

• • •

Adam and Stacie final scenes are up…Please check them out before you write your final scenes…I think it’ll make it easier to keep the timeline straight.

Blake

• • •

I’m putting Draculas 4.0 together…Joe thought it would help with figuring out where new scenes go, so I’m putting my new ones in, along with Paul’s and Jeff’s setting up what happens on the roof. We are super close, guys.

Blake

• • •

Hey, I see that you’ve got “The Sound of Blunder” listed as a bonus DRACULAS story. Make sure you double-check your contract—I think you’re a year away from being able to reprint it!

Jeff

• • •

Reprint? It’s an ebook. We’re not printing anything.

Joe

• • •

You’re gonna get in troooooooouble…

Jeff

• • •

Also, as one of the bonus extras, we’re including forty-six Harlan Ellison stories.

Joe

September 20, 2010

Thanks, Blake! You are owed an infinite number of chocolate chip cookies.

Jeff

• • •

Nice work, Blake!

I talked to the other guys. You did such a terrific job, we’re letting you finish all of our scenes too.

Hurry up. I’d like this done by Thursday.

Joe

• • •

Stacie’s death scene - very moving, Blake. I got a little verklempt.

Paul

September 21, 2010

Blake—I wound up with Adam’s last words. He’s your guy, so if there’s anything you want to change there, please feel free. If you think quoting Dickens is out of character, really, change whatever you want.

Paul

• • •

Finished the two big Jenny scenes. Get your hankies out.

They’re in the JOE folder. Blake, you can splice them into 4.2 when we’re sure no one else is editing it.

Joe

• • •

I thought you did a great job with him, and I liked that he wasn’t thinking bible-verses but rather Dickens at the end. He’s a minister, sure, but he’s not a tee-totaler, not a holier than thou type of guy, and I think that showed that. It was a very nice scene, Paul, so I’m happy to let that be the end of him.

Blake

• • •

but he’s not a tee-totaler, not a holier than thou type of guy

I’d gathered that from earlier passages and so I went with it. I think it’s refreshing (even for this devout agnostic) to see a Christian minister portrayed as a straight arrow rather than a hypocrite. I’m really sick of books with lech preachers.

Paul

• • •

Me too, I wound up liking the guy quite a bit…brave as hell in the face of fear despite nothing for the entire book (until the end) with which to defend himself.

Blake

• • •

Clay on the roof…is loaded. Very short, very Clay.

Paul

• • •

Just to keep you guys looped in on what’s happening marketing-wise, I emailed a big list of bloggers/media people I know and who Joe knows, forwarding the press release and a letter. Response has been solid so far, with about 25% requesting the manuscript to review. We also put out the word on Joe’s blog and offered people the chance to have a free review copy of Draculas on Oct. 1, if they promised to review it on their blogs, Facebook, Amazon, and tweet it. Joe also has a lot of Goodreads friends, like 1200 of them. I’ve given a friend of mine access and she’s emailing them one by one (it’s the only way) to solicit additional reviews and coverage since many of them have blogs.

Already, we have over 120 people promising reviews, all to launch on 10/18, the day before it releases, and then all those review go up on Amazon on the release date. We’re also adding an annex to my website which will be a dedicated draculas web page. I’ll shoot you all the link when that goes live. Plus, we’ve got some interview requests which I’ll share shortly, we’re doing Diabolical Radio 10/6, and hopefully Joe’s going to write a column in the HuffPo around the release date. If you’re interested, the email that’s been going out to the “troops” is at the end of this email. Jeff, Paul, if either of you have any big ideas, please share. Otherwise, I think we’re in excellent shape.

from J.A. Konrath: DRACULAS — Advance Reading Copies!

Dear_____:

If you haven’t been on my blog for the last few days, I’ve got a new ebook experiment going on.

Earlier this year, I asked three fellow writers if they wanted to collaborate on a horror novel. I’ve worked with each of them before (F. Paul Wilson, Jeff Strand, and Blake Crouch) and they’re all consummate professionals.

The result of our efforts, DRACULAS - A Novel of Terror, will be released on Kindle, October 19.

Now we’re attempting to generate some buzz prior to the launch, by treating this like a traditional release rather than an indie release. That means we’re looking for a few good reviewers.

Do you want a free advance reading copy of DRACULAS?

Here’s what you do…

Send an email to draculasthebook@gmail.com and confirm that:

1. You will post a review of DRACULAS by October 18 on Good Reads, your blog or website (if you have one), along with a link to Amazon’s pre-order page (which will be provided to you along with the book and press release.)

2. You will post that same review to Amazon’s DRACULAS page when the book is officially launched on October 19.

3. Make sure to include your name and the web-address of your website or blog (if any), which may be linked to from my blog when the book goes live in the Kindle store.

Your email address will of course be kept confidential, and anyone who writes a review, good or bad, will be thanked in the acknowledgments of a future edition of DRACULAS.

We anticipate having a final manuscript of the book ready to email on or before October 1.

IF YOU DON’T HAVE A BLOG OR WEBSITE…

No problem. We’re going to have a dedicated DRACULAS website page. Write a review, email it to draculasthebook@gmail.com, and we’ll post it there. Then you can link to your review via Twitter and Facebook, if you use them.

Thanks in advance for helping us spread the word! And please make sure to email draculasthebook@gmail.com, under the heading GOOD READS REQUEST. DO NOT EMAIL ME DIRECTLY - we want to make sure your email is read, not lost in my huge stack of unanswered emails.

Thanks in advance for helping us to spread the word!”

Blake

• • •

Great scenes. Paul, Joe, I’ve incorporated yours into Draculas 4.1. Joe, I tweaked yours just to sync up the helicopter leaving (it’s already flying away by the time Jenny reaches Randall). Here’s what’s left before we write the last two scenes (Shanna and Moorecook). I’m waiting to start those until I see what Paul does with Clayton, and I’d like us all to have input into the end.

Randall

[JEFF WRITES: Randall’s transformation. Draculas break through, and as a full blooded dracula, with a chainsaw, he kills a few dozen.]

Jenny

[JOE WRITES: Second to last scene with Jenny. Randall dead. She’s all alone. Draculas are running up the stairs again, will be there soon. A helicopter is coming. Jenny thinks the TV helicopter has returned, looks up, but it’s an Army helicopter. BUT DON’T EXPLAIN WHAT THE CHOPPER IS DOING YET.

Jenny

[JOE WRITES: She feels the building shake, hears Adam’s detonation. She looks up, sees the soldiers lug something out of the chopper, and it lands with a big thud on the helipad and cracks the cement and then the chopper pulls quickly away. - but no explosion yet.

Jenny

[JOE WRITES: Super short, like two or three sentence scene where Jenny approaches the huge shaped charge that has landed on the helipad.]

Clayton

[PAUL WRITES: After Adam’s detonation, Clayton Theel goes back down for his Tauras, instead of running out to safety when he could’ve made it) and big, big boom.]

Joe and I talked just now, and here’s what we’re thinking in terms of finishing, because the deadline for getting this book to reviewers is fast-approaching:

Wednesday, 9/22: Paul, Jeff, Joe write and finish above scenes

Thursday, 9/23: All complete the last two scenes and finish novel

Friday, 9/24: Finalize all bonus content, and off to Jeff for his final review.

Saturday, 9/25: Jeff goes through book, incorporating any changes

Sunday, 9/26: Jeff goes through book, incorporating any changes

Monday, 9/27: Paul goes through book, incorporating any changes

Tuesday, 9/28: Paul goes through book, incorporating any changes

Wednesday, 9/29: Joe goes through book, incorporating any changes

Thursday, 9/30: Blake goes through book, incorporating any changes

Friday, 10/1: Blake goes through book, incorporating any changes

Saturday, 10/2: Joe formats book first thing…off to my proofreader

Sunday, 10/3: Return of proofed book (hopefully not too late), update any bonus content, make absolute last changes, etc.

Monday, 10/4: Joe sends the book to Rob Siders for Kindle formatting, I send the book in 3 formats in an email blast to the troops.

Sound okay? In particular, let me know if the proposed 2-day review periods for you, Jeff and Paul, will work with your schedules.

Blake

September 22, 2010

That timeline works for me.

Jeff

• • •

Strand Has No Shame. “Part of the clown. He tasted funny.”

Paul

• • •

Heh heh. And if you look through all of my prior novels, most of which are horror/comedies, you will almost NEVER find that kind of joke. But it’s very much a Joe Konrath type of joke, so I figured, what the hell? :)

Jeff

• • •

Clay and Alice is up.

As for my comb-through of the ms, I can do any days but Monday and Tuesday. So please switch me with someone. I can do the weekend before or Wed-Thur after.

Paul

• • •

Don’t blame me for that one, Strand. It was all you. And I, for one, hang my head in sorrow at the depths you’ll plumb for a cheap laugh. Shame on you, Mr. Strand. Shame shame shame.

Joe

• • •

Are you STILL practicing medicine, Paul? Isn’t the board supposed to take your license away when you turn 90?

I kid because I love.

I can switch days with Paul.

Joe

• • •

I’m devastated. This was a serious, character-driven meditation on the horrors of modern medicine, until that unforgivable attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator of readers.

Blake

• • •

You guys DID notice that Joe added a “Talk about a half-assed injury!” joke to Paul’s first section, right? :)

Jeff

• • •

I thought that was another one of your jokes.

Joe

• • •

Jeff - can you switch your manuscript review days with Paul? We only gave Joe 1 day to review. That would mean Paul reviews Sat./Sun, you review Monday/Tuesday.

Blake

• • •

Yep, absolutely.

Jeff

• • •

Re: Jenny scenes: Great stuff! But when Jenny asks Randall to bite her neck, we sort of stop being the anti-TWILIGHT.

Jeff

• • •

I think Randall needs to glow in that scene.

Joe

• • •

Want me to start writing a Shanna/Driscoll scene up to where the hospital blows up?

Paul

• • •

Let Jenny say, “This isn’t a Stephanie Meyer book!”

Blake

• • •

Absolutely. We still need to work Shanna’s quarantine issue out (If she’s in Q she can’t meet Mortimer)…do you kill Clayton in your scene, and did you like the idea of a painful but quick test to tell if Shanna has been infected, which keeps her out of Q?

Blake

• • •

I’ve never seen or read Twilight. Is there really a “bite me in order to stay alive” scene?

In Randall’s case, he pushes her away, so it might not be similar. But then, if it were my husband, I’d want him to bite me.

Joe

• • •

Okay, Jeff brought this up, so here’s an uncomfortable question…Jeff…have you read or seen TWILIGHT? Because if there actually is a bite me to stay alive scene in Twilight and we use it to make fun of TWILIGHT, well, that’s awesome.

Blake

• • •

How’s this?

I’m assuming Shanna’s being quarantined because she shot off her mouth, revealing she knows too much.

The kids and baby (she has no idea whose it is) would be put in with her because they ARE being quarantined.

I don’t see why the returned-to-human-form Mort can’t appear at the door and take the baby and free Shanna. He’s more than human now (who knows what powers he’s got?), so he could pull this off.

Outside, Shanna notices the army clearing the parking lot, backing away from the hospital. She sees the army helicopter lowering something to the roof. Mort says it’s a huge shaped charge and describes what it will do. (sterilize, etc.)

Shanna runs off in search of Driscoll to stop it but doesn’t get ten feet before the hospital becomes a huge funeral pyre. Mort comforts her and tells Shanna to flee.

We can fiddle with this until everybody’s happy, but at least it will give us a skeleton to clothe.

Paul

• • •

The whole concept of Twilight is that the mopey teenage girl wants the mopey ancient vampire to bite her to change her. I can’t specifically remember if “bite me to stay alive” is in there, but that’s a common resolution in paranormal romance.

Keep in mind that this is not a romantic Lugosi nibble. Randall has bloody fangs that have ripped right through his cheeks. She’s not gonna offer him her neck.

Jeff

• • •

She offered him her arm. But if you guys vote it down, we can kill the scene.

Also, “Ha ha! Jeff saw Twilight!”

Joe

• • •

In the DRACULAS 4.1 I’ve got, she offers him her neck.

That moment (not the whole scene) is total paranormal romance. We could acknowledge that, but if we’re trying for genuine emotion, that’s not the time to be winking at the reader.

Jeff

• • •

It should be her hand or arm. And it probably isn’t the right time to wink at the reader. I’ll take a look during the rewrite.

Joe

• • •

Could Mort somehow be involved with the quarantine? Working for Driscoll somehow? Or is that too far-fetched?

Joe

• • •

Yeah, far-fetched. But if he’s dressed in nice clean scrubs, he could look like he belongs and slip under the radar.

Paul

• • •

I had him do his metamorphosis in the laundry room for that very reason.

Joe

• • •

Okay. I’ll start on it.

Paul

• • •

Okay. I’ll dig in Saturday AM and flip it to Jeff Sunday night.

Paul

• • •

Re: Randall’s Last Stand

Jeff 10.0 is up

• • •

My pass is going to be the “Mad Lib Edit”, where I substitute every noun with “wiener.”

Joe

• • •

That’s the wurst idea I ever hoid!

Paul

• • •

You really mustard that one up.

Joe

• • •

Paul, don’t succumb to his evil!!!

Jeff

• • •

But he’s such a brat!

Paul

• • •

That was rather frank.

Joe

• • •

Blake and I are going to write DRACULAS II by ourselves.

Jeff

• • •

“Blake and I are going to write DRACULAS II by ourselves,” he said, with relish.

Joe

• • •

Except it’s going to be like a Spike Lee joint…DRACULAZ 2, BIOTCH

Blake

• • •

I quit. This had already gone furter than it should.

Paul

• • •

Really? You had a redhot streak going there…

Joe

• • •

Shanna’s last name…I can’t find one. I’ll stick in a placeholder and change it if anyone remembers.

Paul

• • •

I’m pretty sure it was “Wiener.”

Joe

• • •

Goddammit, that’s what I’m putting.

Paul

• • •

Then let’s change her first name to Anita.

Anita Wiener.

Joe

• • •

Randall 10.0…Great scene Jeff.

Love: They could take away his humanity, but not his fucking chainsaw.

I just put it into the manuscript.

Blake

• • •

Clay’s death…rocks big time…love Alice fusing to his hand. I think we’re all set to write the end tomorrow…Joe has about 100-300 words to write for Jenny and we’re done. I’ve put your Clayton scene into the manuscript, Paul.

Blake

September 23, 2010

I’ve read what we’ve got so far. Very nice job, everyone.

I finished the Jenny scenes, and also added to everyone’s rooftop scenes in order to make her character consistent throughout them. I wanted to have her focus be on Randall, and for Randall to know that she stayed for him. It’s in Dracula 4.2

On the promotional front, people have downloaded almost 700 free teaser copies of Draculas. Also, I heard from the publisher of Blood Lite, and Paul and I should be able to use “A Sound of Blunder” in the extras without being sued.

We’re at about 78,000 words, and we’ve written 70k of them in just five weeks. You guys are rock stars. It’s crazy how quick and easy this was to write.

Paul, can you put an excerpt from one of your ebooks into your dropbox folder to use as an extra? Maybe THE KEEP, in sticking to the vampire theme. (and yes, I know Rasalom isn’t a vampire.) MIDNIGHT MASS would work, too.

Jeff, you missed a question in the interview section.

The goal is to get this to the proofreader by next Monday, and the formatter before the end of the month.

Joe

• • •

BTW, if we do a sequel, we should call it “DRACULASES”

Joe

• • •

Not to bombard you guys with emails, but I had an idea for extras that’s obvious.

I liked Clay’s death scene, but I also dug the discussion we had about Clay surviving.

This is an ebook. So why not do both? As an extra, we could have an alternate ending, like they do on DVDs. We could even have more than one. Gimmicky, sure, but it would be fun for each of us to pen a different ending where different, outrageous things happen.

Also, remember Paul’s scene where Shanna liked firing the gun? That deleted scene that could be used as an extra. There may be other scenes too…

Joe

• • •

Shanna and the new Mort in “end scenes.” Feel free to play with this.

If we do a sequel, I think it will be far more interesting to have Clay’s father turn Shanna into a new Clay - a pissed-off, gun-toting momma out for blood.

Paul

• • •

Nicely done, Paul.

I like it, but I went in a different direction while fleshing out the rooftop scenes, and our scenes don’t quite mesh.

I dig the shaped charge concept. For emotional impact though, both Jenny’s and the reader’s, I believe it is stronger to have Jenny know it’s a bomb and that she’s going to die. I also believe we need to see the bomb go off and the hospital destroyed, and perhaps that Shanna should be the one to bear witness to it. Explaining the hospital will blow up in dialog, without seeing it sort of takes away the surprise. And not seeing it happen is sort of unsatisfying, and readers will be asking “Well, did the bomb go off? Did Jenny make it?.”

I like Shanna seeking out Clay’s dad, like Mort with the baby, and like the mystery behind Driscoll and her team,

Can all of you read the last the last few scenes on the roof, then Paul’s scene, so we can discuss? Or can I go in a play around with Paul’s version, and show what I’m going for?

This, BTW, is a perfect example of the “extra and deleted scenes” bonus features I mentioned…

Joe

• • •

What is this then?

The roof of the hospital exploded in an incandescent flare. The boom and shockwave stopped her in her tracks and she watched in horror as the windows and walls of the fourth floor belched flame and debris, followed almost immediately by the third and second and first. Every entrance, every exit blew its doors and shot flames like giant blowtorches.

And then the floors began to collapse—first the roof onto the fourth, then the fourth onto the third, pancaking all the way down to ground level in a mini-reenactment of the trade towers’ collapse, leaving only a flame-riddled cloud of smoke and dust and debris on the far side of the parking lot.

Paul

• • •

Gotcha. I just reread it more carefully. During the first read, for some reason I thought what Shanna saw was the explosion Adam caused. Adam’s explosion killed Clay, but because Shanna thought the second one killed Clay, and I thought the second was the first.

Still, I’m not sure we need the bomb explained, or that Jenny’s last thought should be one of confusion at what she’s seeing as opposed to realization that she’s dead.

Do you mind me reworking it a bit?

Joe

• • •

I’d rather forgo the exposition myself. OTOH, readers are going to wonder how this bomb did what it does. Just saying it sterilized the scene is asking for a leap of faith. Mention plasma jet and 10k degrees, and they can be pretty certain there ain’t gonna be any survivors—not draculas, not humans, not even viruses.

Paul

• • •

I think I see what my issue is. The final six scenes should be rearranged, so Clay’s death immediately follows Adam’s detonation. Then we can have Shanna and Jenny react to that.

Then I can break up Jenny’s last scene. Half before Shanna goes into the interrogation room, then Shanna, then Jenny realizing it’s a bomb, then back to Shanna to see the explosion, then Mort.

Then we can include the bomb explanation, still get the emotional impact of Jenny realizing her own demise, and avoid the confusion of which explosion is which.

Make sense?

Joe

• • •

Go for it.

Paul

• • •

Almost done. This works much better for me re-arranged.

Do you think it’s better to have Dr. Mortenson ask Shanna her name, or would it be a bit more fun for him to know her name and assume some familiarity with her? It would give her, and the reader, a chance to maybe recognize him before his reveal, even though no one will.

Also, I’ve got an epilogue idea that I’m going to write. We can omit it from DRACULAS, but it’s where I want to go when the sequel rolls around…

Joe

• • •

I think we can give our readers more credit. “Dr. Mortenson” is a pretty fair clue. And if not, twice she thinks she’s met him before. Pairing those with your previous transformation scene pretty much gives it away, no? I don’t think we need to hit them over the head. I’d rather have them make the leap on their own - that way they go from passive to participant. Those who don’t glom on their own will get smacked in the head with it when the guy in the scrubs starts feeding the baby his blood.

Paul

• • •

It wouldn’t be hitting them over the head. It would be subtle.

But I do think we need to spell it out in the last scene. I can see some folks going, “Huh? How did the doctor become a dracula?”

I’m going to tweak it to try it. We can always axe it if it doesn’t work.

Joe

• • •

Okay, 4.3 is done, and the book is done.

Let’s all read the last twenty pages and discuss if it works for everyone. I’m sure we’ll change some stuff. And we might cut my prologue, but I wanted to hint that a follow-up book will have werewolves in it.

Also, we still need a book excerpt from Paul and an interview question answered from Jeff.

Excellent job, everyone!

Joe

• • •

Woo-hoo! Can’t wait to read.

Blake

• • •

Guys, I think we have an important decision to make for which cover we go out with on October 19th.

Check it out:

http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Chapters-Upcoming-Release-ebook/dp/B0042ANZBU/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&ie=UTF8&qid=1285261706&sr=8-1

I happen to think the cover without our names on it is much more striking, Intriguing, and buzz worthy. It’s just plain bad ass. Joe - perhaps we could ask your readers on your blog, continue the involvement of marketing on all levels with the fans?

Blake

• • •

And another point…not having four names on the cover points to the underlying which is to create one, seamless novel. Subconsciously, I think readers will favorably make that connection and be more apt to buy.

Blake

• • •

I’m for the names. I want my name on my books.

But the title by itself looks sweet on a t-shirt.

Joe

• • •

Read the end, fantastic…made some small changes…

1. took this out: “in a mini-reenactment of the trade towers’ collapse” - that’s going to pull everyone out of the moment.

2. changed what Zeke the dog is eating to a rat per Adam’s earlier scene…makes sense a rat and not a dracula would have escaped the hospital.

3. changed Dr. Mortenson to Dr. Cook…not quite as on the nose.

4. Put Clayton’s death (just the last paragraph) after the 2nd to last Shanna scene.

Paul - can you drop a choice chapter excerpt into your folder? I’ll add it to the manuscript

Jeff - please finish the interview.

I think Joe and I are good with this draft to begin proofing if you guys are.

Blake

• • •

My wife finished reading it, and loved it. But she had a few concerns.

1. She still holds out hope that Clay somehow survived.

2. She guessed Mortenson was Moorecook the moment he picked up the kid.

3. She didn’t like it saying “the end.” because Driscoll and the Zeke scene were unresolved, she felt it should end with “To be continued…”

4. She’s pissed we killed everyone.

I explained to her that the building was incinerated, and that Clay was 100% dead, but if it wasn’t clear to her, it won’t be clear to others. So we should consider making it either more final, or more ambiguous about the possibility of him surviving.

But keep in mind that the more threads we have hanging, the likelier we are to annoy a certain percentage of readers.

Blake changing Moretenson to Cook is better, and maybe we should go with Paul’s original line and have him ask Shanna’s name to throw the reader off a bit. I thought it was too much misdirection, but I was apparently wrong.

Maria feels it ended too abruptly, which is a clear sign she wanted more. That’s fine, but I don’t want that dissatisfaction to result in bunch of one star Amazon reviews. Perhaps that could be nullified if we have the first chapter of DRACULAS 2 as a bonus feature.

As for killing folks, she cried at the death scenes, so I think they worked. But I don’t want people finishing this book confused and angry.

Blake, gimme a call and I’ll put you on the phone with my wife.

Joe

• • •

Also, we need to keep an eye on a few consistencies.

Some internal monologue is in italics. Some isn’t. We should unify it one way or the other.

Also, Clay calls them “draculas.” According to Blake, that’s what they’re called in The Passage, which I haven’t read, but which came out after we had the idea for Draculas.

Might want to not call them “draculas” so we don’t sound derivative, even though we came first. We might want to stick with the full length “draculas.”

Incidentally, the title “Draculas” came from a Twitter joke I did on March 27, 2010.

“There’s nothing to fear, but fear itself. And Draculas. There’s probably one in your closet right now.”

I liked it enough to repeat the joke in CUB SCOUT GORE FEAST that I wrote with Strand, and then had a eureka moment when I realized it would make a good title for a horror book.

Joe

• • •

When I put it up on FB, one comment was, “Oh, I thought it was 2 new authors - Crouch Kilborn and Strand Wilson.” Of course, he was being facetious.

Paul

• • •

That Crouch Kilborn guy is a dick.

Joe

• • •

Done - a sequence from MIDNIGHT MASS.

Paul

• • •

1. She still holds out hope that Clay somehow survived.

Nothing wrong with hope. But he and Alice are together in that Great Shooting Range in the Sky.

2. She guessed Mortenson was Moorecook the moment he picked up the kid.

That’s because she’s smart (choice of spouse notwithstanding.)

3. She didn’t like it saying “the end.” because Driscoll and the Zeke scene were unresolved, she felt it should end with “To be continued…”

No reason we can’t put “(Not)” or “(Not really…)” beneath it. We’ve been having fun with the readers all along. Why stop now?

4. She’s pissed we killed everyone.

Not Shanna and not Moorecook. But this IS horror fiction, not romance, so a happy ending is not guaranteed.

That said, I’m not a fan of epilogues in general and this one is no exception. Ending with the baby nursing on Moorecook’s blood hints that the story is going to ramp up to another level. The epilogue puts us back to square one: the start of another epidemic. I’ll go with what the majority decides, but that’s my $0.02.

Paul

• • •

“Blake, gimme a call and I’ll put you on the phone with my wife.”

Oh hell.

Blake

• • •

I see what Paul’s saying to this extent…end with current epilogue (which can become a deleted scene) it ends with oh, the thing continues. End with Mort saying I have plans, we get a sense that it’s escalating into maybe a world-wide thing, which is very cool. I’m still on the fence…

Blake

• • •

I’m fine with using the epilogue as an alternate ending or extra scene, and omitting it from the main manuscript. Or using at as Chapter 1 of DRACULAS 2. I’m not nearly as interested in a government dracula testing lab as I am a werewolf outbreak. New genre, new toys, new monsters.

My son just finished reading the book. Liked it. Was pissed Clay died.

I’m also pissed Clay died. That’s 3 for 3 in the Konrath house for at least making it more ambiguous.

Stacie and Randall had poetic death scenes that were emotional.

Adam’s was heroic. Jenny’s was the end of Night of the Living Dead, which had been my intention when thinking up this scenario.

Clay’s death is like a bad joke, without the laughter. He’s hands down the favorite character. While the other deaths make sense, this one seems cruel. Even in a horror book.

He’s your creation, Paul. If you want him to die, we won’t fight you on it.

But I’m directing the hate mail I get to you. And in talking to my wife and son, I’m gonna get hate mail.

I think we could head off that hate mail if he grabs Alice, the building explodes, and his last thought is, “Oh, shit.” Then there’s always the possibility he comes back.

Joe

• • •

By the way, Paul, it’s your own damn fault for writing a great, likable character.

Joe

• • •

I think he’s gotta die. It brings a certain closure.

In DEEP AS THE MARROW I had a character named Poppy who I had to kill because her arc demanded it. I got tons of angry mail. But you know what? People remember that book because Poppy died. If I’d found a way to let her live, it might have been, Meh.

Look, I can take out the fusing with Alice scene and leave it a little ambiguous, leave a little hope. If we do a sequel, and we want to bring him back, we can find a way.

Paul

• • •

I vote for leaving it ambiguous.

Joe

• • •

I vote strongly against making it ambiguous. If Clay is on the roof when the hospital explodes, he’s dead. We’ve gotta play fair. Suggesting that we might offer some sort of implausible explanation in the sequel for how he survived isn’t going to placate readers.

I also vote to get rid of the epilogue, which makes the book feel like we’re trying to set up two different sequels.

Jeff

• • •

Clay isn’t on the roof. He’s down a few floors.

Here’s the thing, guys. We’re releasing this as an ebook, and before it goes live 200 people are going to review it.

I love nihilistic endings. I thought the end to The Mist was one of the greatest endings in modern horror films.

Word of mouth killed The Mist in its first week, and it tanked at the box office.

Do we want to have a big ebook launch with an average two and a half star rating?

This isn’t like a paperback, where the majority of customers won’t see the reviews. Every potential customer will see the reviews and the star rating on the same Amazon page they download the ebook. Bad reviews will kill sales.

Am I saying compromise artistic integrity and pander to the audience? No.

Am I saying allow a character that readers have grown fond of a chance to survive? Yes.

We’re not making some sort of social commentary or statement with this ebook. It’s just supposed to be gory fun. But it loses some of the fun factor if we annihilate 90% of the cast.

Lanz, dead.

Benny, dead.

Randall, dead.

Oasis, dead.

Jenny, dead.

Adam, dead,

Stacie, dead.

Clay, dead.

Then secondary characters like Winslow, Brittany, Grammy Ann, and Herrick, all dead.

Mort and Shanna are the only POV characters that survive, and one is the main villain.

This isn’t nearly are serious as my other horror novels, but more of the heroes survive in those.

I think we should at least allow for the possibility that Clay lives. This is a classic case of Pascal’s Wager. We have a lot to lose, but everything to gain. What does it hurt to give Clay an ambiguous fate?

And with that, I rest my case. But let the record show that the readers—angry at the ending—will read through our emails and see that Paul and Jeff were the ones who pushed for Clay’s death.

Joe

• • •

“What does it hurt to give Clay an ambiguous fate?”

Ask Brian Keene how much hate mail he got over the ending of THE RISING!

I’m not necessarily voting in favor of Clay dying…if there’s a believable way he can survive the hospital blowing up, I’m all for it. I’m voting against the idea of leaving it up in the air. I’d feel much more cheated as a reader not knowing for sure what happened to him than having him die in the explosion.

Jeff

• • •

Then in the last scene, I vote for Clay crawling out of the rubble.

We need a scene where readers can cheer. Instead we bring in a government conspiracy completely out of left field that isn’t explained or resolved, several depressing deaths, and an open-ended “villain wins” finale.

The more I think about it, the more I think the last fifteen pages kill the fun we had build up for the previous 250 pages.

Maybe it’s my insecurity showing, but now I’m thinking we eliminate Driscoll and her team, and have Shanna find Clay still alive.

I’ve got a wild idea that I’m going to throw out there, for you guys to consider. You know how Hollywood has test screenings? What if I did a happy ending for Clay and Shanna, we gave both endings to the reviewers, and let them pick their favorite? Then we use that one for the book, make the other one an alternate ending, and I don’t have a nervous breakdown.

I like the outcome where I don’t have a nervous breakdown. I’ve written SEVEN novels this year. I’m so close to burning out that I need to mainline caffeine.

Before you tell me no, I think we all need to read the book straight through, and do our final edits. We mention Aliens and so many other cool action movies in this book, and they all had endings where the audience smiles big and pumps their hands in the air. We’re ending Draculas with a nihilistic whimper, and I really think it’s gonna hurt us. This book was too much fun to end with such a downer…

Joe

• • •

Okay, I feel better now. I did a different ending which I think still offers a lot of sequel potential, but will make readers say “Hell yeah!” when they finish. As Mickey Spillane said, “A good beginning makes them buy the book. A good ending makes them buy the next book.”

It’s labeled Alternate Ending in the Dropbox. We can debate whether we use it, or a variation of it, for the final manuscript. If we don’t use it, at least it exists, and we can stick it in the extras.

Wife and son loved it, BTW.

Joe

September 24, 2010

I agree that the ending is the final taste a book leaves in the reader’s mouth. If it’s sour, it can taint all the flavors that came before. (Wow, look at me - maintaining a metaphor.)

I can buy this ending. Since peds is on the 2nd floor, I can buy Clay getting blown out and somehow surviving.

But he’d never hear Shanna through an intact thermopane window. Also, it wasn’t clear she got free of the trailer.

I did a couple of minor fixes in bold face that resolve those.

Paul

• • •

Good points, Paul. Your changes are spot-on.

My wife WOULD NOT stop talking about Clay living. She was so damn happy after reading the new ending, she smiled for—no shit—and hour after she finished.

She also says she loves you.

If Blake and Jeff are okay with it, I vote for Paul’s Altered Alternate ending to be the ending, and then the old ending to go into the extras. I also would like the dog epilogue I did that we cut to be an extra, and Paul’s scene where Shanna refuses to let Clay take her gun away to be an extra deleted scene.

Blake, you want me to put this together, then we can all start our final edits?

Jeff, you can finish the interview in the final edit.

Rock on!

Joe

• • •

Joe, you DO realize that you’re saying “But my family likes my writing!”

Just kidding, you big lug. Again, my issue was with an ambiguous ending, not a “Clay lives” one, so this all sounds good.

I finished the interview yesterday but didn’t send out a note saying I finished it. But now we have to revise the part where we said there were no disagreements.

Jeff

• • •

You guys have met my wife. She’s brutally honest, and she doesn’t put up with my BS.

However, I told my son if he didn’t say what I wanted, he was grounded.

And this wasn’t a disagreement. This was a meltdown on my part, that you guys were kind enough to tolerate.

The complete first draft with everything in it will be up tonight. Then Paul can have Saturday and Sunday to go through it and make changes. Jeff can have Monday and Tuesday. I’ll do Wednesday. Blake Thurs and Fri, and then off to the proofreader.

Joe

• • •

Nice work, Paul and Joe, I love the altered alternate ending!

Blake

• • •

Okay, we’ve got a final first draft, Draculas 4.5, in the dropbox.

Paul, it’s yours unit Sunday night. Make your changes and save it as Draculas 4.6.

Blake and I have discussed out editing rules, and we think they should go like this:

1. Fix any errors, typos, plot inconsistencies, obvious problems you come across.

2. Concentrate on tightening and fixing the prose that you wrote. We don’t want to rewrite each other’s scenes and mess up each other’s style and voice.

3. If you find problems with someone else’s writing, or story arcs, it would be cool to send a mass email to discuss how to fix it.

Having four sets of eyes on this should really make it bulletproof. But we don’t want to lose the individual touches that make each of our scenes unique.

So basically, treat your edit like our editors treat us, fixing mistakes, but asking before making any big changes.

Finally, the acknowledgements are at the end. Feel free to thank whomever you want to thank.

Joe

• • •

I’ll start this afternoon.

Paul

• • •

“We don’t want to rewrite each other’s scenes and mess up each other’s style and voice.”

Randall’s speech patterns change a bit from author to author. I assume it’s okay for me to go in and tweak dialogue throughout, right?

Jeff

• • •

I think I already asked you to do that in his scene with Clay, but if I’ve got any others, feel free.

Paul

• • •

For sure, and that brings up a good point…be on the lookout for scenes where others have written your characters, b/c that’s where most of the inconsistencies may arise.

Blake

• • •

Absolutely. Also, the scenes I have Benny in might be a bit different from your Benny scenes, Jeff, so go ahead and tweak. Ditto for Dr. Lanz, Paul. You originally created his voice, then I stole him for the Jenny scenes. If you want to adjust him, go for it.

Joe

• • •

Also Paul - I assume you’ve been keeping tabs on this already, but if you see any medical terminology, etc. that we’ve screwed up, please feel free to just fix it.

Blake

• • •

Re: comments going thru Draculas 4.5…

Pajamas gone — Mort needs pants on so Shanna can recognize the buckle

Moved Eastwood outgoing message up.

Oasis’ — Oasis is singular. I know you see otherwise, but where I come from, a singular possessive requires an ‘s — as in Oasis’s. Only plural possessive get a lone ‘. Agree? Disagree?

Red eyes or black eyes on the draculas?

Paul

• • •

Agree with the s’s. Hate how it looks, but it’s correct.

Draculas have huge black pupils. But the white of their eyes is bloodshot.

Joe

• • •

Got it.

Paul

• • •

“We need to get them safe so they can be sick and die in peace.”

If this isn’t my favorite line in the book, it’s way up there.

Paul

• • •

“Is that…a flamingo?” asked the old woman.

Okay, this is up there too.

Paul

September 25, 2010

I just updated the Draculas Amazon pages to mention the deleted scenes and alternate endings.

Right now we’ve sold 101 preorders, and have had 702 downloads of the sample chapters. Not huge numbers, but they’ll go up when we start getting reviews. They’ll really go up when the book goes live. Readers aren’t big on samples or preorders, but once the real thing is available, they’ll pull the trigger. I have no doubt this will outsell all of my other ebooks, and I’ve got ebooks that have sold over 2500 copies in a month.

Paul and Jeff, makes sure you add Draculas to your Amazon pages. Blake and I already have.

There’s a dracula skull sketch in the dropbox. The plan is to get 5 more similar drawings and put them in the ebook, Hardy Boys style.

The Draculas website should be up soon. It has a forum. You’ll all be expected to make at least a token appearance there.

We’re also going to do a 48 state, six month tour to support the book, starting on Christmas Eve. Break it to your wives now. I already spent $600 on the 1978 VW Van that we’ll be touring in and living out of. It has a mini fridge and four cots. The van has a faint odor (it’s either feet or cheese), but I think that will be masked by the Porta Potty I’m having installed.

During the tour, we’ll each need to bring $35,000, for gas, food, and prostitutes. That dollar figure has been carefully worked out, and doesn’t include narcotics. If you want narcotics, plan on bringing extra cash.

Since we’ll be living in close quarters for half a year, we need to make sure we’re up to date on our vaccinations. Also, I want to disclose that I have ringworm, but I’ve been told it isn’t very contagious.

Joe

• • •

Guys, from the beginning, Joe and I wanted the end of this book to resonate, inversely, to Night of the Living Dead, where instead of the one good guy getting killed in the end, the one bad guy escapes. With that in mind, I’m writing a short little scene from the POV of a private who has been tasked with shooting anything that comes out of the hospital following the massive blast…I’ll drop it in my folder, and if everyone likes it, maybe Jeff can add it in when he begins his review. It will occur between the scene where Clay gets blown out of the hospital and Shanna meets Dr. Cook. This sound OK?

Blake

• • •

Sounds good, Blake. Maybe stick it in (and fix those typos you found) when Paul finishes his pass, then it can go to Jeff. No reason to wait…

Joe

September 26, 2010

Finished my read through and I’ve gotta say, this thing moves like a sumbitch, but manages to build some real relationships along the way. It’s by turns hilarious, horrific, and poignant, but the momentum it achieves toward the end is (to borrow from Mr. Jobs) insanely relentless. The four styles mesh smoothly. Almost seamless.

Adding to my previous comments:

Pg. 121 Moved the Wolkenstein explanation up because timing-wise it needs to be in hour two.

Speaking of hours, I think we should get rid of the “Hour” dividers. They interrupt the flow, they’re inaccurate, and serve only to distract and cornfuse.

Pg 127: Randall — what happened to the dracs following him in his previous section? They seem to have disappeared. Also, his leg doesn’t seem to be bothering him as he’s kicking the wheelchair back again and again.

I changed Lanz’s amputation a teeny bit. No need to saw through bone in the glenohumeral joint — it’s a ball-and-socket joint; you need only cut away the tissues holding the ball in the socket.

Pg 146 — Adam’s backpack: “Adam took it, unzipped it, and dumped the contents—a change of clothes and some toiletries.”

doesn’t jibe with:

Pg 161: “Unshouldered his backpack, hands shaking so badly he could barely unzip it. He pulled out his iPad, powered it up.”

Maybe he could pull it from a side compartment. That aside, an iPad seems like an expensive toy for a young minister. A netbook might be more his speed, and serve the same purpose.

I changed Sgt. Halford to a colonel. Can’t see a non-com with that kind of authority and responsibility

pg 236 “I’m catching a cab out of here.” Didn’t sound right. I changed it to: “I’m arranging a ride into town.”

Along the way I divided up a Clay scene and a Shanna scene to coincide with the timeline a little better.

Paul

• • •

I agree about removing the “Hour” dividers. That’s something I was going to watch for in my read-through, but I think the combined action takes place in quite a bit less than four hours.

Jeff

• • •

Terrific points, Paul. Great catches, all.

Is it ready for Jeff to begin? If so…

Jeff, can Blake add his new scene and fix a few typos before Jeff takes it?

Blake, can you switch some content around? I think the TOC should go:

Joe

• • •

Sure. Blake, just let me know when you’re done.

Jeff

• • •

Jeff, I haven’t heard from Blake, so go ahead and take 4.6 and start your edit. Save it as 4.7, and try to get it to me by Tuesday night if you can. If not, Wednesday will work.

Blake, I see you’re still working on the soldier scene. No rush. But if you want to forward the typo list to me or Jeff, feel free to shoot an email…

Joe

• • •

Nice, Paul!!! And very glad to hear your enthusiasm for the final product. Agree with all your comments…Instead of an iPad, would a Kindle give sufficient glow to barely light the way in a dark basement? Joe?

Jeff, go ahead and dive in. I’m still finalizing my brief soldier scene and Joe can put it in when he takes the next handoff.

BTW, we’re up to 161 advance review commitments…

Blake

• • •

Kindles aren’t backlit…

Paul

• • •

But Kindles do have detachable lights, and I love that he’s use a Kindle. In fact, I really really really think this is the way to go, especially since Amazon has been so helpful.

The Kindle light I use, and love, is an XXXXXX.

I say, use that with the Kindle. Then I’ll contact XXXXXX and see if they’ll send us some swag in exchange for the plug.

Joe

• • •

Jeff, I figure you’re just getting started on the manuscript I’m going to finish this scene today, and then let you know where you can to stick it (ok that didn’t sound nice, but you know what I mean ;). I would like you to see how it integrates with the end scenes on your read…might need to have Shanna hearing the big .50 chugging.

Blake

• • •

34 pages in, just minor tweaks here and there. I cut the “Talk about a half-assed injury” joke because Lanz is a jerk who would not be thinking in amusing puns.

There’s one piece with Lanz fleeing that might confuse readers:

“Out of the treatment room, into the ER proper. Ignore the terrified, questioning faces. Find a place to hide. A door—SUPPLIES. The handle won’t turn. Locked. Of course. But he has a key. He fumbles it free, unlocks the steel door, ducks inside, closes and locks it behind him.”

I think that putting this whole paragraph in italics will make it clear that the use of present tense is a stylistic choice. Any objections?

Jeff

• • •

None. I lapsed into present and left it.

Paul

• • •

No objections to italics. But the “half-assed injury” joke will make it into the final manuscript, if not by Lanz then by an observer that I invent specifically to say the joke.

In fact, I’m pretty close to renaming the book “Half-Assed Injury.” Rather than the title looking like fangs, it will have different identifiable features.

Also, Jeff is off my Christmas list. This year I’m giving out hams to all of my friends. The hams will be delivered in brand new Camaros. Blake, you still wanted red, right?

Joe

• • •

I was thinking of you. I wouldn’t want you to squander the “half-assed injury” joke on DRACULAS, where you might not get full credit for it.

Jeff

• • •

Don’t lie. You weren’t thinking of me at all. You were selfishly thinking about what’s best for the book.

No Camaro for you. It would have been black, with a supercharger.

Instead, for Xmas I am sending you half a box of expired Minute Rice, and a rawhide bone my dog stopped chewing because it made her gums bleed. And you won’t get them until December 28th.

Joe

• • •

“Talk about a half-assed injury!” said an onlooker, pointing at the softball player.

“Mr. McGlade, please,” said the doctor, “if you don’t hold your hand in place it’s never going to reattach itself.”

Then six or seven draculas burst into the room, and ate Harry in twelve or fourteen bites.

“I’m almost sad about that,” said a patient. Then everybody popped open a cool refreshing beer and laughed for a while, just like the end of a Saturday morning cartoon.

Jeff

• • •

Doesn’t McGlade get killed in the Choose your own adventure Draculas subplot?

Blake

• • •

Only twice, which isn’t enough.

Jeff

• • •

You just lost your half box of Xmas Minute Rice, Mr. Sarcasm.

I’m leaning toward this:

Jack lowered the brim of his Boston Red Sox cap and sat down in the ER waiting room. He blended into the background, just another normal guy, an average face in the crowd. But the vibe was all wrong. This didn’t seem like a run-of-the-mill fix-it job. He felt a chill—the Otherness that had become inseparable from his life since his near death encounter with the blue meanies.

(I’m still not sure where the “half-assed” joke will come in yet. I may have to write for this character for a few more chapters before I find the spot.)

BTW, Paul. Since you never mentioned Jack’s last name, I’m just going to give him the surname “Snortkowski.” Also, in this scene, he gets his pelvis chewed off. You’re gonna have to retrofit that into your series.

Joe

• • •

Don’t lie, Mr. Liar McLyingpants.

The Draculas scene from Banana Hammock by J.A. Konrath went like this:

Mortimer rolled on top of her, like a lover, blood and saliva dripping onto Jenny’s face and neck. She reached up to push him away, but even as terror-stricken as she was, Jenny couldn’t bring herself to touch him. It was like willingly sticking your hand into a box of angry rattlesnakes. Even as his jaws drew near, Jenny’s revulsion wouldn’t allow her to fight back. She stretched out her hand—her face imploring—to Dr. Lanz, who stood within reach. But he shrank away from her beckoning fingers, retreating into the safety of the nurse’s station.

This is it, Jenny thought. I’m going to die.

“Cool,” Crazy Knife Goon said.

Harry McGlade nodded. “Draculas is a real roller coaster ride. Soon the whole hospital is overrun, with a few remaining survivors fighting for their lives.”

“Which parts did Jeff Strand write?” Andrew Mayhem asked.

McGlade gave CKG a knowing nod, and then they both shoved Mayhem at the creature, who tore into Mayhem’s throat like a fatty ripping open a bag of potato chips, except blood came out, not chips, and it wasn’t a fatty, it was a dracula. There was babyish squealing and some unmanly cries for help from Mayhem, who was probably a bed wetter, and then the dracula ate him all up and everyone gave each other high-fives.

Also, despite the very reasonable $2.99 Kindle price, Draculas never sold a single copy, so Strand never got any royalties.

Joe

• • •

I was too distracted by the desecration of Winnie the Pooh.

Jeff

• • •

That wasn’t desecration. That was parody, which is protected by fair use, and I never mentioned that beloved childhood copyrighted character by name so it isn’t infringement.

Joe

• • •

If McGlade shows up in this I fucking quit.

Blake

• • •

But I still get paid of course, it’s a symbolic quitting.

Blake

• • •

You just lost yourself a Camaro, Mr. McCritical.

I think you’re still sore because anytime someone mentions “Blake Crouch” in Banana Hammock, no one knows who you are.

Joe

• • •

I come home Sunday night to 15 freakin emails? And I thought it was us old guys who weren’t supposed to have lives.

Paul

• • •

Jeff started it.

Joe

September 27, 2010

Blake, I continue to be blown away by the amount of energy you’re putting into the extra bonus features, and the marketing and publicity of Draculas.

I made a few tweaks to the working in the review email blast you just put in the dropbox…

CURRENT ARC REQUESTS: 165

Goal: 300

1. EMAIL TO PROOFREADER

Hi Marcus: Please find attached the manuscript in a word document. In terms of how to go about this, we would request that you make a running list of typos you locate and turn that list in with the corrected manuscript If they’re straight-forward misspellings, blaring typos, just correct them—American spelling please :). If you come across something more complex, please just make a note of it. It’s a big old book, and we would appreciate if you would go through the bonus content as well. Any questions, don’t hesitate to ask, and thank you again for your willingness to help us out on this project (we’ve already thanked you in the acknowledgments).

Best!

Blake

2. EMAIL ADDRESSES AND EMAIL FOR SENDING MS. TO UPCOMING RESPONDERS TO JOE’S BLOG ANNOUNCEMENT FOR ARCS AND TO GOOD READS

Thanks to:

Marcus Blakeston, Carl Graves, Rob Siders, Chris Rapking, Suzanne Tyrpak, Maria Konrath, Jeroen ten Berge,

Gef Fox, Nenad Ristic, Steve Windwalker, Chris Blewitt, Marc Buhmann, Krist Rufty, KD James, Cherie Reich, Stephen Grogan, Dr.CPE, David Dodd, Gail Snyder, John McCarthy, Anthea Strezze, Douglas Dorow, Jason Otoski, Juli Monroe, A. Sadie Timm, Julie Smith, Christy Pinheiro-Silva, K.S. Elkins, Carolyn Lee, Paul McMurray, Traci Hohenstein, Steve Malley, Debbi Mack, James Reed, Missy Meyer, Gretchen Rix, Karly Kirkpatrick, Brian Spaeth, Roxanne McHenry, Kaoru Tanaka, Dennis Welch, Cynthia Briggs, Baboi Alin Lucian, Andrea Allison, Steve Lewis, LaDonna Bubak, Jessica Crooks, Greg Swanson, Robert Carraher, Aldo Calcagno, Brian H “The Chalkboard Dad”, Mary Stella, Tamera Martens, Jeroen ten Berge, HL Arledge, Jason Davis, Suzanne Fyhrie Parrott, Scott Marlowe, Stacy Krueger, Philip Hansen, Carl Obermeier, Steve Peterson, Tyler Kneisly, Sandra Gilbert, Ahmed Khalifa, Lamar Giles, LK Rigel, Misty Baker, Raven Corinn Carluk, David Villalva, James Reasoner, Frederick Altstadt, Anthony Grogan, Donnie Light, Kim Wright, Pauline Funa, Gerald Writer, Kipp Speicher, Jennifer Baker, Holly Barnes, Elizabeth White, Trish Gerstman, J.E. Taylor, Rob Cundall, John Smith, Joe Bishop, Daniel Barbier, Claudia Lefeve, Geoffrey Rabe, Ty Simmons, Mike Heppe, Daryl Sedore, Helen Letourneau, Rai Aren, Selena Kitt, Georgiann Hennelly, Debbie Gilliam, Rhonda, Brenda Sedore, Janene Irvine, John Hartness; Robert Cundall; Keith Gaston; Kyle W. Kerr; Mickey Reed, Katie Hardin, Eghe Precious, Steven Beltzer, Amanda Pickett, Karen Dyck, Lakisha Speltzer, Catherine Saxton, Dorlana Vann, Phoebe Conn, Matthew Dow Smith, Terri Dukes, Vicki K. Brown, Ilsa Bick, Karen McGrath, Tee Tate, Vannessa Grace, Yeva Wiest, Anthony Policastro, Shannhu, Joanie Raisovich, Tim Rich, E. Wylie, Judy Sizemore, Loretta Giacoletto, Sharon Anderson, Holly, Jaime Wasserman, Katie Hardin, Natasha Pixie, Melissa Zellmer, David Wisehart, Moses Siregar III, Heather Dudley, William Tombaugh, Kendall Gutierrez, Georgekutty Adappur, Barb Best, Bobbie Crawford-McCoy, Paula Phillips, Aaron Patterson,

1st email to the troops:

Dear Friends: Attached to this email is the finished manuscript of DRACULAS, including all of its extensive bonus content. We have attached the book as a pdf, an epub file (for you Nook and Sony lovers) and a mobi file if the Kindle is your pleasure.

If you have any questions or issues with any of the file attachments, please don’t hesitate to get in touch via draculasthebook@gmail.com.

We will be following up with a second email in about a week with further instructions as we approach the 10/19 launch date. In the meantime, please just explore and enjoy DRACULAS (you should enjoy the bonus content…trust us, it’s off-the-hook). We hope you’ll read the book within the next week and start gathering your thoughts for a review.

We seriously couldn’t do this without you. Your willingness to help us spread the word about DRACULAS means the world to us, and we’ve already thanked every one of you in the acknowledgements at the end of the book (and if you find yourself missing, let us know!).

More soon!

All the best,

Blake, Joe, Jeff, and Paul

2nd email to the troops:

Dear Friends: As of this email, we are a mere four days from the launch of DRACULAS. Hopefully, you’ve read the book and written a review, and now it gets exciting.

As early as possible, ON OCTOBER 18, please post your review on your blog(s), Goodreads, Facebook, Shelfari, interstate overpasses, basically anywhere you see fit.

We would also request that you include the link to purchase DRACULAS on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Novel-Terror-ebook/dp/B0042AMD2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=books&qid=1284569826&sr=8-1

Then send an email to draculasthebook@gmail.com, under the heading “REVIEW LINK” and drop us the link to your blog(s) review of the book, or if you don’t have a blog, include the text of your review in the email.

ON OCTOBER 19, please post your review onto Amazon’s DRACULAS page: http://www.amazon.com/DRACULAS-Novel-Terror-ebook/dp/B0042AMD2M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=books&qid=1284569826&sr=8-1. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUY THE BOOK TO POST A REVIEW ON AMAZON, you just need an Amazon account.

If you use Twitter, please tweet about your review and also what Joe Konrath will be posting on his blog. http://jakonrath.blogspot.com. He will be including a link to every blog review of DRACULAS, and we want people to have to scroll through page after page after page to get to the bottom. The DraculasTheBook.com website will also feature all reviews.

To our knowledge, this type of marketing experiment has never been attempted on this level. What is the power of several hundred reviews all appearing on the same day, and on Amazon? Is it enough take DRACULAS viral? To hit #1 in the Kindle store? That’s our hope.

We find it exciting and liberating to enlist our wonderful readers to help us connect to a wider audience. Because the more books we sell, the more books we are able to write.

For those of you who have expressed concern that Draculas is only available as a Kindle ebook, remember that it is DRM free. That means, once bought from Amazon, it can be easily transferred to any other ereading device (Nook, Kobo, Sony, etc.) Visit www.DraculastheBook.com for instructions. Draculas will also soon be available in print.

Thank you again for joining us in this experiment, thanks for reading our work, and here’s to a successful launch. Keep on the lookout for another email shortly letting everyone know how we did.

All the best,

Blake, Joe, Jeff, and Paul

Joe

• • •

Private Rogers 1.1 is in Blake’s folder. Everyone take a look. I think it could still use some tweaking, so anyone who wants to volunteer, go for it.

Joe

• • •

Okay. Don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but …

It’s a great sequence, but I don’t see what purpose it serves. We introduce a new character only to kill him. I admit that I am by nature a taker-outer rather than a puter-inner, so let me give my reasons for relegating this to alternate endings (along with my Dr. Driscoll sequence).

1) I think Dr. Cook appearing to Shanna in clean scrubs adds to his mystique.

2) having draculas escape on Pvt Rogers’s watch indicates that the autoclave was a failure and that dracs could be escaping elsewhere. (Clay was blown through an open window, so that’s a different story)

3) in order to have closure in this book, we need the reader to buy that the autoclave bomb worked, that this episode is over, and whatever comes after is all new.

Pace, Blake.

Paul

• • •

Good points, Paul.

Blake (and I) wanted to drill it home that Cook is still alive because he accidentally was mistaken for human, just like Duane Jones in Night of the Living Dead was accidentally killed because he was mistaken for a zombie. In both cases, it is the men with the guns who make the mistake.

I killed Rogers because I thought he wasn’t the best example of exemplary soldiering. Blake originally didn’t bring the dracula into it. When I did bring the dracula in, I killed it, so there weren’t any more running around.

But I also think your points are correct.

What if Rogers gave him a free pass and didn’t die, and Cook’s scrubs were clean?

I don’t want to force this scene in, but I like what it brings.

On the other hand, maybe we can give Cook a line when he’s being interviewed: “I barely escaped. One of the soldiers even wanted to shoot me, until I showed him I hadn’t been bitten.”

Thoughts?

Joe

• • •

Ditto - very valid points, Paul…by way of explanation, I started this scene, because in reading the final sequence in DRACULAS, it occurred to me that (a) I thought the perimeter scene was under-drawn, and (b) the original idea of having Mort escape in opposite fashion to the end of the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD hadn’t been fully achieved. But maybe we don’t need that. I do agree that we need to have the full sense that all of the draculas are dead and that perhaps this also screws up the pacing of the final scenes…let’s hear what Jeff thinks and sleep on it. I’m not married to this either way, and if it gets relegated to deleted scenes, I’m okay with that.

Blake

• • •

I think you’re pushing for a pop-cultural point/reference that no one’s gonna notice or care about.

I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade, but I don’t think it adds to the narrative. And if it doesn’t, then ya gotta let it go. This is not a tantrum igniter for me. I simply don’t think it’s necessary. This is a collaboration and majority rules. But for my part, I think it’s extraneous, so I vote “alternate ending.”

Paul

• • •

I think we can keep it omitted. But then I do want a bit added to Dr. Cook at the end, explaining he almost got shot.

While folks probably won’t notice the pop culture reference, the whole “Moorecook is saved” was part of my first conversation with Blake about Draculas, and one of the reasons we wanted to write this story in the first place. Night of the Living Dead (and I Am Legend by Matheson—at least the Vincent Price film version of it) was about trapped people surrounded by monsters. NotLD blew me away the first time I saw it (nine years old?), especially the nihilistic ending. Doing a reverse-nihilistic ending drew me to this project.

But then, as long as it’s known what our intent was, I see no problem in cutting it.

Curious what Jeff thinks…

Joe

September 28, 2010

Okay, looking back, maybe I’m being a tight-ass. If this section is important to you guys, if leaving it out’s going to make the book something less than you intended, let’s go with it. Seriously.

Paul

• • •

But honestly, Paul, if it struck you as a speedbump in the pacing, particularly at the most critical part of the book (the end), that gives me serious concern about the scene and that maybe it shouldn’t be in there. I’m sure we’ve all written books having a certain scene or note in mind to hit at the end, and then when the time came, it just didn’t jive with the rest of the book. Let’s see what Jeff thinks.

Blake

• • •

I’m withholding my vote until I’m done with the proofreading. But the fact that a scene was part of the original idea should be irrelevant to whether or not it’s appropriate for the book as it stands now.

Jeff

• • •

I’m contacting various Kindle booklight manufacturers to see if we can get an endorsement deal. A Kindle light saves Adam’s life, and perhaps some company would be happy enough about the product placement to cover our start-up costs (art, formatting, website.)

Plus, it would be great publicity, for both us and them, if Draculas was the very first ebook with advertising in it. Both Blake and Jeff know I’ve been predicting this for years…

Joe

• • •

Agreed.

Blake

• • •

Remember, though, the light is dying as soon as he turns it on, creating a ticking clock to darkness.

Jeff

• • •

It they don’t give us a deal, I’ll have the light die and Adam can smash it into the wall and say, “This fucking piece of shit is so unreliable!”

Blake

• • •

Adam started running, made it out of the laboratory and halfway through reception, when his XXXXXX finally faded to black.

He froze, waited a moment, thinking his eyes would adjust, that he would be able to see something, but it never happened.

His first instinct was primal, animal panic, a sense of the walls both closing in and spinning until he’d completely lost his bearing.

XXXXXX. It leaves you in the dark to be eaten by vampires. $29.99.

Jeff

• • •

XXXXXX…it’s not going to help you when the lights go out during a vampire outbreak.

Blake

• • •

Our emails crossed and yours is much funnier…LOL

Blake

• • •

Clay stopped at the Pepsi machine and got a refreshingly tasty Mountain Dew. Halfway into sipping the delicious beverage, he heard a noise on his left. Reaching into his Levis 517 Boot Cut jeans, he removed his Benchmade Griptilian folder, flicking open the blade.

But it wasn’t a dracula. It was Jenny, riding a brand new Schwinn Seneca 700cc, her L.A. Gear Walk N Tone shoes furious on the pedals.

“They’re coming!” she yelled while screeching the brakes. “But before we run, I need to apply some L’Oreal True Match Concealer! I don’t fight monsters without looking my best!”

Guys, we’re gonna be rich…

Joe

• • •

Okay, I’d never heard an XXXXXX, but now I really want one.

Paul

• • •

No, I completely agree with Paul. It’s a good self-contained scene, but it feels less like “enhancing the irony” than “overexplaining a plot point.” Readers don’t want six pages of a new character right at the finale.

Jeff

• • •

I’ve gotta say, this book flows incredibly well for a four-author project! I’d expected to find a lot of awkward pacing, but no, it’s smoooooooth. Huge kudos to Blake for managing to figure out where everything should be pasted together.

For a book with so many characters, they’re all distinct, and I don’t think readers will have any difficulty following the action.

I fixed a few typos, some redundant description, and the occasional continuity error. I changed the iPad to a Kindle with a light. Cut a line here and there.

I have a couple more changes to make (there’s a paragraph about Clay/Shanna’s relationship that’s too much like Randall/Jenny’s relationship, and Randall gives Jenny a hatchet that’s never used), and then I’m going to go through the special features.

Jeff

• • •

There’s another deleted scene for the fire.

Joe

• • •

Okay, I’m ready to hand this thing off to Joe.

The Clay epilogue is fantastic. Feels like it was planned out from the beginning.

Jeff

• • •

Don’t know about rich, but I think the least the Taurus folks can do is send me a Raging Bull.

Paul

• • •

If Taurus contacts you, asking if you received the firearm they sent your way via my address, they’re liars and never sent me anything.

Also, remind them I wanted extra clips.

Joe

• • •

And somebody is bound to send Blake some red candy!

Jeff

• • •

Okay, I’m just getting started, and have only made some small changes.

I switched Clay’s profession from cop to high school guidance counselor. Now, instead of all the shooting, he encourages the draculas to talk about their feelings.

Stacie is now a man.

I cut all the stuff Jeff wrote.

In my scenes, I added two commas, and fixed a typo.

I also made one minor addition. Dr. Lanz is now a minor. Sort of like Doogie Howser. Because of this, he is now being played by Neil Patrick Harris, who has turned the role into a singing part. Not quite sure how that will work in an ebook, but this is all such a fabulous new technology I’m sure there’s a way.

Oh, almost forgot. I also changed every noun in the book to “wiener.”

“Wiener jerked against his wieners, making the wiener rattle. The wieners had pumped enough wieners into him to kill a wiener, but the wieners hadn’t abated. Wiener wiped away another wiener, wondering if wiener should have seen wiener coming.”

You can see how the story is vastly improved.

Also, I cut all the stuff Blake wrote.

Joe

• • •

Interesting changes, Joe.

BTW, could you please cut all the stuff I wrote too?

Paul

• • •

As long as I still get my 25% of the royalties…

Jeff

• • •

And for real now…

I made the formatting globally uniform in terms of punctuation and spacing (Kindle hates it when the return key is pressed more than once.)

Put the Sgt. Rogers scene in the deleted scenes.

Changed the order of some of the special features.

Added the emails that were in the dropbox.

Jeff and Paul, you didn’t put in your acknowledgments. If you don’t have anyone specific to thank, we can just use “The Authors Wish to Thank” and then list all the folks that helped us.

I’m getting started on reading it, and should finish by tomorrow.

Joe

• • •

BTW, could you please cut all the stuff I wrote too?

I can’t find the scenes you wrote, Paul. Was it the scene with the wieners?

Joe

September 29, 2010

While I was editing, I got sidetracked on the email extras, and just spent two hours making that all nice and uniform and clear, fixing some typos and formatting.

I also added the “half-assed” joke Jeff cut to the Deleted Scenes collection. I’m sad to see it go from the manuscript, but at least it lives on as a bonus extra…

Joe

• • •

I just skimmed through the emails. 40k words of email. 40k!

Paul

• • •

“40k words of email”

And that’s after cutting out all of the pointless emails that Strand sent. Did you get the eleven pages of cross-stitch patterns he sent, under the heading, “Super Important Draculas Notes”?

Blake had his moments as well, like when he cut and pasted the entire Wikipedia article on the line of succession to the British Throne. I finally gave up reading that one at #1491 - Baron Godfrey of Fürstenberg-Herdringen, second son of Baron Sylvester.

The only one not abusing our email protocol with pointless messages that have nothing to do with the project is me. I have several theories on why that is, and will be sending them to you, in groups of threes, over the next eight days.

Joe

October 1, 2010

Love you guys. It’s been an honor, and a great deal of fun, working with you on this project. I couldn’t have picked three better writers.

Let’s consider doing this again in 2011, schedules permitting.

Joe

• • •

You too, brother. Feeling honestly a little emotional writing this. It has been nothing but a total joy and a true privilege working with all of you. Everyone brought their A-game, everyone gave 100%, we didn’t always agree, but I’m really proud of how we worked through those times when we didn’t see eye-to-eye. Truly one of the best writing experiences I’ve had, and I know I’m a better writer having worked with each of you. I really couldn’t be more thrilled with how this book and collaboration turned out.

Thanks, boys, for a helluva good time.

Blake

• • •

This from a Horrorworld interview going live later this month

Q: There’s a lot of nervousness, excitement, and hand-wringing about the move toward electronic publishing. What’s your take — as a writer and as a reader — on this new digital age?

A: I love it and I’ve embraced it. I hate the piracy, but the leeches are always with us. I’ve put all titles from my backlist to which I still own e-rights up online as ebooks. As I write this I’ve just finished my contribution to a 4-way collaboration with Blake Crouch, Joe Konrath (as Jack Kilborn), and Jeff Strand. It’s a straight-to-ebook novel called Draculas, and we had a super-fun time writing it. If only all novels could be this easy and fast. 70k words in 5 weeks (plus 40k words of email). I’m glad to see I can still keep up with the younger guys. These are 3 excellent horror/thriller writers, turning in sharp, clean prose at an amazing rate. It’s real horror, lots of gore, tons of action, and a fair amount of humor. This begs to be filmed.

Paul

October 2, 2010

Even though these bonus features are about 92% e-mail fellatio, I’ll add one more slurp and say that this has indeed been a lot of fun to write.

Thanks to Joe for the idea, to Blake for taking on the hardest job, and to Paul for overall awesomeness.

But if we’re going to include behind-the-scenes e-mails for DRACULAS II, somebody needs to sleep with somebody else’s wife.

Jeff

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Joe wants to thank his wife Maria and son Talon for beta testing the book and yelling at him to make changes. He also thanks his co-authors for putting up with him, Carl Graves (cgdouble2@sbcglobal.net) for the cover art, and Rob Siders (Rob@52novels.com) for formatting this bad boy. Also, big props to the Amazon crew for their support and assistance: Alex Carr, Stephanie Derouin, Phil Finch, Terry Goodman, Victoria Griffith, Nader Kabbani, Jason Kuykendall, Brian Mitchell, Jeff Tollefson, and Sarah Tomashek.

Blake wants to thank his wife and kids for putting up with the six intense weeks during which this book was written (love you guys!), Chris Rapking for designing the amazing www.draculasthebook.com website, Jereoen ten Berge, Marcus Blakeston, Selena Kitt and Carmen Montgomery for their excellent proofreading, Suzanne Tyrpak for her tireless assistance on the marketing side of things, and of course, Joe, Jeff, and Paul, for a wild and amazing ride.

Jeff wants to thank his wife for letting him hang out with Joe again, even though he’s a bad influence, and Michael McBride for answering some crucial research questions about how to make a clown explode.

Paul wants to thank his co-authors for being so easy to work with and Jeff Bezos for making it all possible.

And finally, from all of us, a big thank you to everyone who helped spread the word and get this book off the ground, especially…

Gef Fox, Nenad Ristic, Steve Windwalker, Chris Blewitt, Marc Buhmann, Krist Rufty, KD James, Cherie Reich, Stephen Grogan, Dr.CPE, David Dodd, Gail Snyder, John McCarthy, Anthea Strezze, Douglas Dorow, Jason Otoski, Juli Monroe, A. Sadie Timm, Julie Smith, Christy Pinheiro-Silva, K.S. Elkins, Carolyn Lee, Paul McMurray, Traci Hohenstein, Steve Malley, Debbi Mack, James Reed, Missy Meyer, Gretchen Rix, Karly Kirkpatrick, Brian Spaeth, Roxanne McHenry, Kaoru Tanaka, Dennis Welch, Cynthia Briggs, Baboi Alin Lucian, Andrea Allison, Steve Lewis, LaDonna Bubak, Jessica Crooks, Greg Swanson, Robert Carraher, Aldo Calcagno, Brian H “The Chalkboard Dad,” Mary Stella, Tamera Martens, Jeroen ten Berge, HL Arledge, Jason Davis, Suzanne Fyhrie Parrott, Scott Marlowe, Stacy Krueger, Philip Hansen, Carl Obermeier, Steve Peterson, Tyler Kneisly, Sandra Gilbert, Ahmed Khalifa, Lamar Giles, LK Rigel, Misty Baker, Raven Corinn Carluk, David Villalva, James Reasoner, Frederick Altstadt, Anthony Grogan, Donnie Light, Kim Wright, Pauline Funa, Gerald Writer, Kipp Speicher, Jennifer Baker, Holly Barnes, Elizabeth White, Trish Gerstman, J.E. Taylor, Rob Cundall, John Smith, Joe Bishop, Daniel Barbier, Claudia Lefeve, Geoffrey Rabe, Ty Simmons, Mike Heppe, Daryl Sedore, Helen Letourneau, Rai Aren, Georgiann Hennelly, Debbie Gilliam, Rhonda, Brenda Sedore, Janene Irvine, John Hartness; Robert Cundall; Keith Gaston; Kyle W. Kerr; Mickey Reed, Katie Hardin, Eghe Precious, Steven Beltzer, Amanda Pickett, Karen Dyck, Lakisha Speltzer, Catherine Saxton, Dorlana Vann, Phoebe Conn, Matthew Dow Smith, Terri Dukes, Vicki K. Brown, Ilsa Bick, Karen McGrath, Tee Tate, Vannessa Grace, Yeva Wiest, Anthony Policastro, Shannhu, Joanie Raisovich, Tim Rich, E. Wylie, Judy Sizemore, Loretta Giacoletto, Sharon Anderson, Holly, Jaime Wasserman, Katie Hardin, Natasha Pixie, Melissa Zellmer, David Wisehart, Moses Siregar III, Heather Dudley, William Tombaugh, Kendall Gutierrez, Georgekutty Adappur, Barb Best, Bobbie Crawford-McCoy, Paula Phillips, Aaron Patterson, Mark Feggeler, Merrill Heath, Eileen Andrews, Cheryl Koch, Brian J. Hatcher, Christine Verstraete, Anthony S. Policastro, Colin Harvey, Christopher Payne, Deborah Smith, Elinor Estepa, Garrett Cook, Denise Lynn, Conrad Zero, Geoff Brown, CK Webb, Deborah Shlian, Gerald Rice, Debra Martin, Giovanni Tasco, Jess Gulbranson, Carson Buckingham, Graham Storrs, Jacqueline Hulse, Darcia Helle, Kristin Centorcelli, Karin Tillotson, Kate Jonez, Jim M. Munchel, Jamie DeBree, Ted Sturtz, Jim Gavin, Kona Gallagher, Kurt M. Criscione, Leslie Klinger, Jen Hilborne, Darryl Spong, Eileen C. Coleman, Lisa Nieland, Kimi Little, Jan D’Ambrosia, Malena Lott, Jim McLeod, Carla Rene, Nick Kelly, Rich Smith, Pat Bertram, Ruth Francisco, Tina Lonergan, Russell Brooks, Sarah Swann, Jon Spoelstra, Rick Hautala, Simon Wood, CJ West, Stacia Kelly, Sue Campbell, Sunny Bravin, Ed Parrott, KayAnna Kirby, Adrienne Crezo, A. Sadie Timm, Amy G. Vega, Rowena Cherry, Natalie Roberts, Tonia Mccrae, Tom Randklev, Willow Polson, Norm Cowie, Jason Davis, Kevin McLaughlin, Cole Drewes, Sean Wright, Sally Bosco, Kristopher Cowell, Helen Hanson, Bill Gagliani, Bella Street, Barbara Silkstone, Giovanni Gelati, Alex Wilhelm, Lillian Slusar, Nancy Slusar, Larry Zieminski, Nicole Wilde, Tanya, Linda Boulanger, Jeff Bryan, Joe Nassise, Rick Taubold, Judy Nichols, Tammy Souch, and Julie Achterhoff.

COMING IN 2011

DRACULAS 2

WEREWOLVES

MUMMIES

Content

J.A. Konrath,, et al DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror)