Gerrard Karyn

Heart of Rock

Heart of Rock by Karyn Gerrard

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Cover Artist: Lee Tiffin

Editor: Cynthia Mac Gregor

Heart of Rock © 2012 Karyn Gerrard

ISBN # 9781614955016

Attention Readers: This book uses US English.

All rights reserved.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental. The Licensed Art Material is being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the Licensed Art Material, is a model.

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Dedication

To all the great singers and rock groups of the 1970's, thanks for the memories.

Gratitude to my critique partner and friend, Gayl Taylor, for the support and advice.

To my husband, who was my sounding board with this story as he is with so many others. Thanks for listening.

Rock on.

Trademarks Acknowledgement

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

AMA: Dick Clark Productions, Inc

Boston Garden: Delaware North Companies, Inc

Bowie, Ziggy Stardust: Jones, David R

Capitol Records: Capitol Records, Inc

Fender: Fender Musical Instruments Corporation

Gibson Les Paul 55: Gibson Guitar Corp

Grammy: National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences, Inc

Jack Daniel's: Jack Daniel's Properties, Inc

Malibu Barbie: Mattel Inc

MGB: MG Motor

Mustang: Ford Motor Company

Pepsi: Pepsico, Inc

Red Cross: American Red Cross

Rockford Files: Universal City Studios LLC

Rolling Stone: Rolling Stone LLC

Tyrconnell: Cooley Distillery PLC

Volkswagen: Volkswagen Aktiengesellschaft Corporation

Walgreens: Walgreen Co

Yamaha FG 160: Yamaha Corporation

Zippo: Zippmark, Inc

Prologue

Belfast, Ireland 1970

Brogan Byrne clasped his girlfriend's hand tighter and pulled her along behind him through the dark, foggy streets. Angry male voices followed in the distance. They were being hunted. All that was missing, Brogan thought, was the feckin' pitchforks and torches. Far-off gunfire peppered and sliced though the heavy night air. Just to add to the perilous mix, British soldiers were on patrol.

He glanced back at Tarrah. She looked frightened, as well she should be. He was originally from Dublin but had been living in Belfast the past three months to play his music at a few select pubs. His family told him he was daft for coming to Northern Ireland in the middle of 'the troubles', but he'd always loved an adventure—until tonight.

It turned out his family was right. He had the sick feeling a group of Ulsters was tracking them. Tarrah was Catholic, and he was Protestant. He tried to run faster, but Tarrah slowed him down. He had met her his first night at the Rose and Crown. She sat in the front perched on a barstool, mesmerized by his singing and guitar playing. She was a sweet little thing with her ginger hair and freckles. It didn't take long for her to find her way to his bed and his heart. Brogan was in love, a true, deep, all-encompassing love, for the first time in his life. The time spent with her was precious and had him making some long-term plans for both of them. This very morning, after making love and holding her in his arms, he told her he loved her and wanted her in his life forever. Tarrah cried and kissed him and said she loved him, too. Even now his heart ached with passionate tenderness for her. When they got out of this damned mess, he was taking her back to Dublin right away.

Tarrah tugged on his arm and brought his thoughts back to the present. "My cousin, he warned me—" she gasped, out of breath from their running.

Brogan rounded the corner. Shite. Dead end. The dark, ominous brick buildings on either side of the narrow alley seemed to close in. They were trapped good and proper. A dim, flickering yellow light bulb from a nearby lamppost cast an eerie glow on them.

He could hear the boots of a group of men clicking on the stones and getting closer. "What are you talking about?"

"Rory said word had got out about our relationship. He warned me to break it off with you, but I couldn't." Her hand reached up to cup his cheek tenderly.

"Is there any way out of this alley?"

Tarrah was about to reply when four men appeared in the alley. They stood side by side to block their escape. Two held wooden handles of some sort. Another held a knife. Brogan immediately stepped in front of Tarrah.

"We don't want any trouble."

"Too late, boyo—you found it. You fucked a papist slut. Now you pay."

The men moved closer. In the distance whistles and shouting cut through the cool night air. Soldiers. They were all out after curfew. Right now he would welcome being arrested. With lightning quick speed the man holding the knife lunged toward Brogan before he could react.

"No!" Tarrah screamed.

She darted in front of Brogan and took the full frontal thrust of the long serrated blade. The knife was buried to the hilt in her stomach. The man had a tight hold of the handle. He laughed cruelly and pulled it upward. The sickening sound of ripping skin and flesh and the sticky, sweet odor of blood filled the alley.

The man pulled out the knife and was ready to thrust at Brogan when one of the others yelled, "Soldiers!"

Tarrah's hands grabbed her mid-section. She looked at Brogan in shock, her face drained of all color except for the slight yellow cast from the lamppost, and then she slumped to the damp cobblestones.

The men ran like scalded cats. Brogan kneeled next to Tarrah and lifted her partly into his lap. Jaysus, the blood. He went to move her hand to inspect the damage, but she whispered, "Don't."

Dear God, she was holding her guts in. The Ulster pig had gutted her good and proper. He tried to shout, but not a sound came out of his mouth. It hung open in a silent scream of torment. As tears poured down his cheeks, he pulled her closer. He still made no sound, but his heart contracted in agony. He felt it might break and knew if it did, it would be the end of him, forever. He couldn't lose her, not after their promise of love this very morn. He'd promised to protect her, and then when Tarrah needed him most, he'd failed her. Brogan swallowed deeply and sobbed.

"Help! For Christ's sake we need help!" his voice cried out.

Two British soldiers stepped into the alley while two others started the pursuit of the men.

"You're under arrest," the soldier shouted.

"Aye, fine, just get her some help!"

One of Tarrah's bloody hands shakily reached up to touch his cheek. "I love you, Brogan Byrne. Never forget what we shared." Their gazes locked. Her eyes were moist. One single tear escaped and trailed down her pale cheek.

Brogan watched as that divine spark called life left her beautiful gray eyes until they were like those of a china doll: empty, dead, lifeless. Her breathing slowed and hitched in perceptible stops.

Her hand dropped like a sack of wet cement to the cobbles.

"She's done for, lad," the soldier stated.

Brogan was covered in her blood, his lap soaked. He reached with trembling fingers and closed her sightless eyes. He leaned down and gently kissed her lips. He could do nothing to save her. She'd given up her life—for him. How could he live with the knowledge? To know he could do nothing to protect the woman he loved? As the soldiers pulled him roughly to his feet, his body turned to stone and his heart to solid rock. Feck it all.

Chapter One

1974, a hotel in Baltimore

Someone was sucking his cock. Brogan opened an eye and gazed down the length of his naked body. She had blonde hair, whoever this bird was. He heard soft snoring intermixed with a slight wheeze. A naked black chick slept at his feet on the king-size bed.

The lipstick-smeared mouth eagerly sucked and licked, and his hips rose off the bed in raw, lustful gratification. Jaysus, she was good. He closed his eyes, and the memories of the last few hours played in his head like an eight mm porn film. He'd fucked the black chick from behind, pounding into her sweet, hot pussy while the white bird lay under the black one and sucked on her tits and fingered her clit. Another memory flash had him flat on his back, the blonde riding his cock hard with him eagerly licking the black girl as she writhed and groaned above his face. Her knees clamped his head tight while he stroked her pussy deep with his talented tongue. His prick twitched in response to his flashbacks and grew harder. Brogan had been doing this a lot lately, two at a time.

Brogan opened his filmy eyes again and tried to focus. He was close to shooting his wad. He gripped the back of the head of the unknown woman and held her in place as he began to thrust. He was not getting true enjoyment out of this. All he wanted was release. He groaned aloud as his hot cum spurted down her throat. She backed away and wiped her mouth, leaving a streak of blood-red lipstick and semen on her cheek.

Brogan pushed her aside in indifference. He sniffed the air. Sex, sweat, and Christ knew what else lingered and permeated the atmosphere. His stomach roiled and lurched in protest.

What had he taken last night? He never shot up since he usually appeared shirtless on stage. He couldn't puncture himself full of holes. So he usually took pills, or on occasion snorted coke. Booze, however, was his main stimulant.

He had no sooner stumbled out of bed than he collapsed to his knees on the cold tile floor and promptly puked his guts out.

He tried to stand, and then heard a deep voice call out to him. "Again, Brogan? Bloody hell, you need a keeper."

He hadn't even heard his brother enter the room. Brogan coughed up some green phlegm and spat on the tile. "Want the job?"

His younger brother, Nevan, strolled over to where he knelt on the floor, dry heaving like some sick hound dog. Nevan helped him to his feet. "Tell me you at least used protection before you stuffed your cock into those whores."

Brogan paused. "I can't remember. I don't think I did."

"Stupid bastard. Do I have to go out and buy a box of rubber johnnies for you? I will. What did you take this time?"

"Ah—coke. I think. Not sure. Over there, in the sugar bowl."

Nevan yelled to the women, "Oi! Get dressed and get the hell out of here, now!"

The women grumbled, stumbled about, and picked up their clothes. They were mercifully gone within minutes.

"Brogan, you look like shite, mate. You can't keep this pace. The women, the drugs, and the booze. You're losing weight. I can feel your damned ribs."

Nevan slung Brogan's arm around his shoulders and propped him up.

Brogan slumped against his younger brother, grateful for the support. "I can handle it," he croaked, not very convincingly.

"When is your next concert? How can you even stand in front of a crowd? You should see a doctor, my brother. You are not well. Let me take you."

Brogan could hear the affection in Nevan's voice. His brother hardly ever showed concern or warmth, so he couldn't dismiss this overture. "Okay, Nev, sure. Doctor."

Nevan led him back toward the bed, kicking empty beer and scotch bottles out of the way. He stripped off the smelly sheets and threw them on the floor. He laid Brogan back on the pillows.

"Big feckin' rock star with your own bloody band, Byrne 'N' Flame. You've got two gold records and more money than you can count. And more often than not, this is how I find you," Nevan muttered. He walked to the closet, pulled out a blanket, and covered Brogan.

"I'll get the maid up here to clean up the puke and other body fluids. Sleep now, my brother."

Brogan's eyes fluttered. He fought the urge to sleep. For in slumber, the nightmares came. His destructive behavior was the only thing keeping the demon at bay. His conduct disgusted even himself, which said plenty. Nonetheless, he continued to indulge, putting his meteoric rise in the rock world in jeopardy.

He coughed, and then rolled over to try to get comfortable. He had an upcoming concert in Philadelphia, although Brogan dreaded the gig. Not so much the music—performing on stage was one of the few times he felt at peace. The feeling of tranquility was far too fleeting.

A veil of darkness covered him, and he was transported back to the damp, musky alleyway in Belfast.

Cue up the nightmare.

Two days later, Philadelphia

Reese Byrne, younger brother of Nevan and Brogan, had a tight hold of Abbie Ryan's hand. Brogan's current girlfriend also happened to be the woman Reese was secretly in love with. He and Nevan had come to the States nearly two years ago, when Brogan hit the big time with his first record, Within the Flames. They were both on Brogan's payroll as assistants. Basically, they were around to keep Brogan company and occasionally herd his groupies and clean up his puke. Frankly, Reese was tired of the whole thing. There wasn't much glamour in being with a rock star. Going home to Dublin looked better all the time.

Reese glanced at Abbie: long blonde hair, killer figure, sky blue eyes, and sensual lips. Despite the outer sex kitten package, Abbie really was a nice girl and far too good for Brogan. Reese and Abbie navigated the labyrinth of underground tunnels at the Spectrum, flashing their backstage passes as they went. They were trying to find Brogan's dressing room. Reese had brought Abbie to the concert as a surprise. Brogan didn't know she was here. Months had gone by since the couple had seen each other, thanks to his brutal touring schedule. Reese recognized one of Brogan's bully bodyguards standing outside a door. This must be the room.

"Reese Byrne, Brogan's brother, and this is his girlfriend. We have passes—"

Reese pushed his way past the guy. It wasn't hard. All the Byrne brothers were well over six feet in height and solidly built.

"Whoa, man, hold up. Brogan is not to be disturbed. His orders—no exceptions. Wait!"

Reese opened the door anyhow, and they soon saw the reason for the order. A skinny, naked girl hung off Brogan's bare back like a cape, her hands caressing his shoulders and chest. Another naked girl knelt in front of him, giving him a world-class blow job. The bodyguard held up his hands in surrender and quietly backed out of the room.

Abbie cried out in shock. She sputtered, unable to form words.

"Brogan, you feckin' pig!" Reese roared.

* * * *

Brogan's drug-fogged mind tried to identify the voice. Reese? Here? Had he invited him? He couldn't remember. The sucking motion on his cock stopped, and the girl pulled his erection out of her mouth with a decided pop. What was the name of the girl on her knees with the cherry red hair? He couldn't remember that, either. The girls backed away from him. The one on her knees wiped her mouth and suddenly looked ashamed. He reached down and tucked his still-rampant arousal haphazardly back into his leather trousers.

He blinked twice, turned, and stared at Reese standing by the door—with Abbie. The girl hugged him again from behind as if seeking protection. He reached down and pulled the chick in front of him to her feet.

"Welcome. Don't know how you got in. Seems I better beef up security. But now you're here we can all party," he slurred.

Brogan fixed his gaze on a shocked Abbie. If he bothered to look hard enough, he could see the hurt and betrayal on her face. He chose to ignore her reactions. It had been a while since he'd had her. Bloody hell, she's gorgeous. How many times had he fantasized about him and Abbie and another woman? His prick hardened even more just thinking about the possibility.

"Reese, mate, take your pick of those two. They're up for anything. There's any type of booze, dope, or pills. Help yourself."

"Like hell I will!" Reese growled.

Brogan noticed Reese was trying to lead Abbie away, but she seemed stunned and frozen in place. Her eyes were glassy and filled with unshed tears. Why not have a wild party? His brother was handsome enough. All the Byrnes had rich, coffee-colored hair, though his own shoulder-length tresses were dyed white with three-inch ebony ends—all part of the rock persona. The atmosphere in the room grew awkward as the naked groupies struggled with their clothes. Flashing multi-colored lights cast an eerie green and red otherworldly glow over the proceedings. A nearby turntable played the Stones' "It's Only Rock and Roll." How feckin' true.

He was high and drunk. What had started out as an interesting three-way could now become an orgy. Why the hell not?

* * * *

Abbie was locked in place by Brogan's mesmerizing gaze. He walked toward her like a predatory jungle cat—a sexy jungle cat, six foot three inches tall, wearing low-slung, unzipped black leather pants. She could see his erection halfway exposed. The muscles of his torso moved with a fluid grace. His body was hard, honed, and beyond stunning. As disgusted and as angry as she felt, she could not look away from him. These rock star trappings just added to his aura. Brogan Byrne had always had charisma to spare. No wonder women were at his feet, literally. She'd believed him when he said he'd stayed faithful. How naive of her to trust him. Now her worst fears had come to pass. He was gorgeous, debauched, and sickening. Yet, God help her, she still wanted him.

"Abbie, come join me and one of the girls. I will introduce you to pleasures you've never had before. Hell, Reese can join in too. I think he fancies you a little. I know the girls will like Reese. All of us Byrne men are—what is the polite way to put it—'well endowed'." Brogan grabbed his crotch briefly. "But you know that already, don't you, love?" He chuckled and stumbled a few times as he walked closer.

Abbie was in shock. She did not know this man. What had happened to the Brogan she knew and imagined herself in love with? Brogan pushed Abbie against the door, boxing her in with his bare, muscular arms. She turned her head away in disgust. He stank of rancid, musky sweat. He no doubt hadn't showered after the concert. He smelled of booze, dope, and some cheap perfume that made her nose hairs twitch. His breath was foul like a sewer. No, this was not the Brogan she knew.

"Come on, love. Let's have a little fun. I know you like it when I stick my…"

"Say another word, brother, and I'll slit your throat where you stand," Reese snarled, menace in his voice.

"Little brother is jealous. He wants to lick you where only I've been. So sweet, so wet—"

Abbie gasped and glanced away. She was going to be sick.

Reese grabbed Brogan's arm. "You are going to pay for that, brother or no."

Finally Abbie willed herself to move. She pushed Brogan away and grabbed a hold of Reese's arm.

"No, don't. No fighting, please. Let's just get out of here."

She could feel the anger emanating from Reese, but he allowed her to lead him away. She didn't dare glance back. Abbie knew Brogan was glaring at her. She was turned on, and that churned her stomach worse.

Chapter Two

Here we go again. Nevan glared at his naked brother who was snoring loudly, face-down on the bed. Reese had called him last night and told him everything that transpired. Reese was livid. He had never heard the boyo so angry. He couldn't blame him. A few hours' drive and here he was in Philadelphia. He talked to the guy outside the dressing room door. Apparently Brogan's manager had enough and quit yesterday. His band couldn't stand Brogan either; they had already left in the tour bus to head to their next date. So Brogan was alone. The Spectrum guys wanted him out. No doubt to fumigate the bloody room. Jaysus, what a stench.

According to the bloke outside the door, two women had left before dawn. He searched them, and they had robbed Brogan of money and drugs. He took the stuff back and let them go. No cops. No fuss. No scandal.

Nevan really didn't want to deal with this. Reese was near the end of his rope, and so was he. Following his older brother on tour seemed like it might be a feckin' adventure. So he and Reese had flown over on BOAC to join the rock voyage. Brogan was going down a self-destructive road, and he was not in a frame of mind to be a support. Nevan had enough going on in his own life. Thankfully, the guy outside had put in a call to Cascade Records, and the boss, Nigel Winwood, was sending down people to deal with Brogan. Let them handle this shite mess.

So why would he come here? He had asked himself the same question all the way up the interstate. Deny it he might, but he cared what happened to Brogan.

* * * *

Carly Montgomery walked down the long tunnel below the Spectrum with her assistant, Giovanni Enaudi. She'd received the call from Nigel, the owner and president of Cascade Records, and cringed inwardly when she heard she would be looking after Brogan Byrne, the Irish scumbag. He had a reputation already throughout Cascade and the rock world itself. She was as ambitious as the next person, and she wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to handle Cascade's top rock star. At the moment, Brogan Byrne was the top concert act in North America. Too bad the year-long tour was nearly over. Regardless, she was determined to make an impression. She glanced up at her huge assistant. Gio would be perfect for kicking Irish ass when Byrne stepped out of line. Gio stood six foot five inches tall and was built like a brick wall.

"After we ascertain the damage, make sure the limo is brought around to the side entrance."

"You got it, boss," he replied.

Carly pushed open the door, stepped into the dressing room, and walked up to a rather gorgeous man. Who was this? He gave her the once-over as well.

"You work for Nigel?"

"No, I'm the drunken shite's brother. I just arrived."

Oooo, lovely Irish accent. Her eyes scanned down over the muscular chest on display through a half-buttoned multi-colored shirt. If Brogan Byrne was as good looking in person as his brother, maybe her job wouldn't be as arduous as she imagined.

"Carly Montgomery. I'll be managing your brother going forward."

"Fair play. I'm Nevan Byrne. He is going to need some managing and some babysitting. Good luck with him."

Nevan started for the door. Carly halted him with her hand on his arm. "You're not leaving, are you? I could use your help, you being family and all. I have to get him on a plane for New York."

"I'm not my brother's keeper, not anymore. I'm not sticking around to wipe his nose or his arse. That's your job, one you're being paid to do."

The man spoke with no emotion. Jeez, cold bastard. She could imagine his family had had enough of Byrne, though. She couldn't really blame him.

Carly sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I can smell your brother from here."

She glanced over to the darkened corner of the large dressing room. A rather well-shaped and muscular bare ass was clearly visible along with a long, lean, gorgeous body face-down on the bed. Even his calves were perfectly shaped. Loud, ragged snores wafted across the room. Carly let her admiring gaze linger.

She turned to Gio briefly. "Get him in the shower, stuff him into some clean clothes, and toss him into the limo. We leave right away. I'll deal with the stadium guys. They'll have to bill us for this mess."

Carly glanced around the room: broken lamp, empty liquor bottles, half-eaten pizza and—yuck—a used condom.

Carly turned back to Nevan and flashed her most charming smile. "Sure you don't want to come to New York? Cascade will pay all your expenses. In fact, I can put you on the payroll for this leg of the tour if you'd like. Name your price."

Gio went to the bed and slung a still-unconscious and naked Byrne over his shoulder like a sack of dirty laundry. He headed toward the bathroom.

Carly smiled again. "Gio is my muscle and my assistant. I think he will do nicely for handling your brother. Is there anything you can tell me about him, anything I should know, besides the obvious?"

Carly watched in amusement as Brogan Byrne was taken away. She soon heard the water running and a shout from the rock star. No doubt cold water. Good.

"What else is there to tell you? Lately he's been a stranger to me, as he is to our younger brother, Reese, and his own girlfriend, Abbie. They were here last night. Brogan all but forced them to join an orgy he had going on. He needs medical care. I was going to take him to the doctor—you can do it. He needs to dry out. He needs a swift kick in the arse. And I'm sorry, it won't be me. I'm not interested. Not anymore."

Carly observed the pain that flickered briefly in Nevan's eyes. Oh, he cared. He'd had enough of his brother's antics and needed out. Well, she couldn't force him. She reached in her pocket and handed him her business card.

"If you should change your mind, call me. I'll do what I can, but if his own family can't get him to straighten up and fly right, I can't see me having much success. My job is to see he is sober and able to perform on the night of the concert. What he does in between shows—" Nevan Byrne flashed a brief, pained expression again. "Okay, I'll try. If I have to hire someone to stay with him day and night, I will. But the record company and the concert promoter will put up with only so much."

Nevan nodded, "Tell Brogan." He slipped the card in his shirt pocket. "I'll try to make the Newark concert, but I can't promise."

Carly said, "Fair enough."

* * * *

"Where the feck am I again?"

Looking at him, Carly shook her head. "Are you going to become one of those pathetic, burnt out, brain-fried bastards who need index cards wherever you go so you know what city you're in?"

He interrupted her and in an uninterested tone explained, "Love, I always needed index cards to tell me what city I was in."

She sighed in exasperation but continued, "We're still in Philly in a private VIP lounge at the airport waiting on a flight to JFK. In New York. You have a concert in two nights, remember?"

"Far out," Brogan mumbled in annoyance.

"Guess I'll have to introduce myself again. Carly Montgomery. I'm your new manager. Byron quit last night. I suppose you don't remember that, either."

"No. I really don't remember. The show went well, I suppose."

"Yes, the concert went fine. What happened after the show caused the concern. You all but trashed the dressing room at the Spectrum. Your mess is going to cost a pretty penny. Nigel is not impressed."

"Carly? How original. Copy Carly Simon, did you?"

He watched as her jaw set in annoyance. "I don't copy anybody. My name is Cara, but my family has called me Carly since I could crawl—and why am I explaining this to you?"

Brogan blinked and had a good look at this infuriating-as-shite woman. She was no more than five foot three inches tall. Her hair was long and wavy, dyed some two-tone shade of black with bright red streaks throughout. She wore a skintight black leather skirt and sexy four-inch black pumps. A tight gold tiger-patterned sweater hugged her feminine curves. Under the six layers of makeup he supposed she was attractive enough, no raving beauty but adequate. Her voice, however, sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

"I don't have to stay here. You can't keep me. I'll find my own feckin' way to New York—"

Carly whistled shrilly through her teeth. The door to the private lounge swung open. A man as big as a Volkswagen with a human head on it stood before Brogan with his legs apart and tree trunk-sized arms crossed defiantly.

Carly's laugh sounded smug and amused, which pissed him off further. "This is Giovanni. Gio gave you the cold shower, remember?"

He interjected again, this time more sarcastically, "Love, it's not the first cold shower I ever had."

"Regardless, he'll be your shadow going forward. Gio will keep you in line. Make sure you're a good boy and behave at the venues in future."

"I need a drink." Brogan snarled.

Carly inclined her head toward the counter. "There is fresh coffee in the pot, and some donuts in the box. That's all you're getting for now."

Jaysus Christ. He clasped his hands together to keep them from shaking. He did need a drink—badly. Times like this, he wished he smoked. He could use a fag right now. He was sober for the first time in days. Well, he would try to stay somewhat lucid for the show itself. But after the concert was over, he would put aside the few restraints. Stalking the stage and whipping the crowd into a wild froth wasn't enough for him. He always needed more. His irritated gaze roamed over the huge man in front of him. Great. His own gorilla.

Carly stood and moved to the sofa next to him. "Byrne, do you remember your younger brother and your girlfriend visited after the show?"

Brogan blinked twice. They did? He searched his brain. A brief flash of Abbie—against the door——

"Not really."

"Your other brother, Nevan, was there when I arrived this morning. This brother Reese is very pissed off. You were, in a word, a pig."

She seemed to be watching him closely, as if waiting for some reaction. Brogan kept his emotions tightly reined. His already nauseated stomach did a few more tumbles at the thought of his behavior the previous night. He couldn't remember much. If Reese and Nevan were bleedin' pissed, it must be bad.

"Listen to me, Byrne. I've been around enough rockers these last three years to see the signs. Your own band can't stand you. They went to Nigel. They will be around you only for prerequisite rehearsals and the show itself. The rest of the time? They don't want to know you. They demanded separate travel and different hotels, though I can't see that happening. You're arrogant even to your own family and to your girlfriend." Carly hesitated. "You don't remember a thing, do you?"

Brogan interjected a third time, "Love, did the Volkswagen with a head eat all the chocolate donuts?"

Carly rolled her eyes and ignored his feeble interjection.

"Even Nevan washed his hands of you. I asked him to come on tour and offered him a wage. He turned me down. Reese? He wants to rip your throat out. You disgustingly suggested they join your orgy in no uncertain terms. I won't have this kind of behavior on my watch, Brogan Byrne. I take my job seriously. I'll keep you sober for these concerts if I have to stay with you twenty-four hours a day. You will finish this tour, and you will behave. I'll see to it, and so will Gio."

Brogan didn't speak. He could no longer form words. Suddenly he was back at school on Eccles Street, and the principal was berating him for his mischievous ways. He really didn't remember Abbie and Reese being there. Was he blocking the incident out? Orgy? Oh, shite, what did he do and say? It must be bad if Reese wanted to rip his throat out. Reese was the more peace-loving of the brothers, even of the younger ones. His band had turned against him too? Well, even Derek? He and his drummer were tight. Derek had been there from the beginning.

Brogan didn't know why he acted this way and didn't know how to stop. This monster lived inside him, and it had resided there for a long time. The demon was a voracious beast. Even now it clamored and groaned. The beast wanted to be fed. The only thing quieting the fiend was drugs and sex. He needed some type of hit. He glanced over at Gio. If Tiny wasn't here, he could put the moves on this Carly. Jaysus, where did that come from?

* * * *

Carly decided to say no more. What would be the point? Besides, he would call her 'love' and make another pointless comment about donuts. She had given him enough to chew on for now. Of all the acts she had handled these last few years, none of them had the aura and the sheer magnetism of Byrne. His star power was off the charts. She instinctively knew he would be one of those enduring rock stars whose career would move to rock legend status. If he played his cards right, he could be around for damned years. Byrne could make a fortune, which in turn would make her and Cascade Records a fortune. He was self-destructing, however, and heading down a very dark path.

Byrne's aura consisted of part natural charisma, part sexual allure, and the magnetism vibrated off him. She would have to make herself immune. Carly's gaze took a quick perusal of his handsome face. His sensual full lips were deeply carved in a frown. He wore skin-tight black leather pants tucked into black motorcycle boots. His oversized sweater had black and white stripes, which matched his weird-ass hair. He wore a heavy gold chain with a huge Celtic cross. The v-neck sweater showed a teasing amount of rock-hard pectorals dusted with a sexy sprinkling of dark brown chest hair. So, his hair was the same color as his brother's. She raised her gaze to his bloodshot eyes. The amazing color mixture of emerald green and whiskey brown was mesmerizing. This man is a mess. All she had to do was get through the next five concert dates. It would take all of her intestinal fortitude. She would keep her distance and keep her guard up.

Brogan Byrne was all kinds of trouble.

Chapter Three

Twenty minutes until his show at Madison Square Garden. Brogan's opening act, David Essex, was rocking the house down. Muffled screams from concert goers and reverb from the bass shook the walls of his dressing room. Brogan couldn't stop his hands from shaking. He laid them flat next to the sink to steady them. He needed a drink or a snort, something. He asked to be left alone. Brogan tried to psych himself up like a prizefighter does before a boxing match. He took great gulps of air and exhaled slowly. He hadn't done a concert completely straight in at least a year. That fact alone was further sobering. He needed, he wanted. It was the story of his life this last year, seeing to his needs. The more he had, the more he wanted. Could he stay sober and clear of head? Drug-and booze-free? Swear off the meaningless sex? Brogan wished to hell he knew. For a brief moment he decided to be honest with himself: He was a muck-shite mess.

The door to his dressing room banged open with a good deal of force. Derek Foster, his drummer and he thought his friend, barreled into the room.

"What do you want, Derek? I want to be alone. We already discussed your drum solo."

Derek crossed his arms. "That's not why I'm here. Montgomery said I could come in. I won't stay long."

Brogan pushed away from the sink. "Juice? Crackers? Meats? That's all the she-witch will let me eat." He inclined his head to the counter. "I didn't touch the food, so help yourself."

"I can't eat before a show. It makes me nauseated. I am speaking for the band now."

Oh, Jaysus. Brogan rubbed his neck in irritation. "Go ahead."

"We can't go on like this. We are frightened fuckless you will spazz out on stage in some drug-induced haze, pull your cock out of your pants like Jim Morrison did in front of the audience. You're going to blow. Everyone knows it. I'm here to give you warning. When it happens, we walk. All of us."

Brogan continued to rub his neck. He took a few steps closer to Derek, who stood no more than five foot nine, so Brogan towered over him. Derek did not back down from his intense, laser-beam gaze. He may have been shorter, but he was tightly packed with muscle, especially his arms. His physique made him one hell of a drummer. A lock of blond hair fell over Derek's eyes. Everyone was against him, Brogan thought. Even his own guys were turning on him. Anger and disappointment boiled in his veins.

"Fine. But remember this: I made you. You are all nothing without me. I can replace you all in a heartbeat."

Derek sneered, turned, and walked toward the door. Brogan could hear Derek muttering, "Vain, arrogant fucker —"

Aye, maybe he was.

* * * *

After the show, Brogan was whisked back to the Park Lane Hotel overlooking Central Park. There was no after party, nothing. He was a prisoner in his room. He angrily stirred the embers in the fireplace. His brief conversation with Derek before the show still rankled. He hadn't had his shower yet. He was shirtless and wearing his trademark leather trousers. The fake star tattoos on his arms were smudged with sweat. The thought of getting real ones didn't appeal. He placed the fireplace tool back in the caddy and leaned on the green marble mantel.

They did put on a hell of a show. Perhaps sober was better—or maybe not. Right now, he wanted to tear the gold paper off the walls. He needed some kind of fix or he would hurl himself out the feckin' window onto unsuspecting pedestrians. Brogan was lost in thought and didn't hear the door open to his suite.

"Your manager's man let me in. Are you locked up for some reason?"

He glanced up. Abbie.

"Aye, like a monkey at the zoo. For my own good, they say."

His voice sounded bitter to his own ears. He didn't like being constrained. He pushed away from the mantel and walked toward her. "How is it you're here? Were you at the show? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to see your concert. I have seen enough of your 'shows'. The one you had in your dressing room in Philadelphia was enough for me." She kept her voice steady, but Brogan could tell she was keeping her anger tightly under wraps. "I flew in. I'm staying with my aunt in Brooklyn. I came because I have something to tell you, and it couldn't wait. I'm breaking up with you, Brogan. We're done."

Those words and her tone of voice. He didn't expect this. Figured she would always be there. Abbie had said she loved him, and recently. Was it all a lie? Christ, what happened in Philly? His clear-eyed gaze observed her defensive pose. Her hands were clasped behind her back. Hope to hell she wasn't holding a gun.

"Abbie, whatever happened, I'm sorry. I don't even remember you being there at the Spectrum. I heard I acted like a pig. I don't know why…" He knew bloody well why. He was high, drunk, and beyond all reason.

"This isn't about your disgusting behavior. Although it was a slap to the face to walk in on some woman on her knees giving you head. I know there have been other women. Don't try to deny it. I have proof."

Brogan crossed his arms defensively. His insides clenched. Bleedin' hell, she walked in on someone sucking on his pipe? Reese as well? What did she mean by 'proof'?

"So you had me followed? Had pictures taken?" he sneered softly, trying to hide the hurt. He delivered his words in a frosty, indifferent voice.

"Oh, just admit it. You probably can't even remember how many you've had! How soon did you cheat on me? As soon as you went on your first tour in the fall of seventy-two? I wouldn't be surprised!" she yelled, her anger breaking free at last.

"I can't help it. Women want me and throw themselves at me. I'm only human. Why should I refuse them what they want? If you don't want me, there are plenty who do. I just have to crook my finger."

"You're so vain. You probably think the world revolves around you! It's not you they want. It's the celebrity, the rock star, the glitter, and the glam. Not you!" Abbie cried out.

Her words hit their mark. What she said was the absolute truth. He didn't want to hear any truth. He was famous, a bona fide rock idol with gold records, and nominated for one of those new awards, the AMAs. Rumor had it he would be up for a Grammy as well. He was making money hand over fist. He uncrossed his arms and took a couple of steps toward her. She didn't move.

"Maybe I wouldn't have turned to other women if you had come with me on the road and supported me at all. I asked, bloody hell, I begged for you to join me. You refused. You turned your back on me. You never loved me or supported me!" He sounded spoiled and petulant, but Brogan was beyond caring at the moment.

"Oh, so it's my fault you are a cheating, drunken pig? I'll tell you the real reason I'm breaking it off with you. You gave me VD," she snarled, barely containing her anger. "A doctor confirmed the diagnosis. I have gonorrhea. I've only been with one man ever, and that was you, Brogan! You gave me this disease from your banging God knows how many scummy women. I will never forgive you for this. Never."

He couldn't believe it. Venereal disease? Nevan's words of warning came back to haunt him. He couldn't remember how many or if he'd used condoms or not. All the sex he had became a blur. They were only nameless faces and faceless names. When did he first cheat on her? He couldn't recall; however, he remembered the reason why he did it. He was lonely and racked with guilt. At some point his behavior took a turn into pure debauchery and spectacle rivaling ancient Rome. VD explained a couple things he'd chosen to ignore. He couldn't speak, and his mouth dropped open like a fish flailing on the dock, gasping for air through its gills. Abbie had rendered him speechless.

His lack of response must have tipped Abbie's rage over the edge because she reached out and slapped him hard on the face. "You son of a bitch."

His head snapped back from the impact. She'd nailed him but good. His cheek stung, and he rubbed it as he glared at Abbie. He could see by the look on her face she was angry and wanted to make him bleed.

In a calmer voice she said, "Get tested, Brogan, get treatment, and stop screwing those groupie whores." She turned to leave.

Finally he found his voice. "Wait, Abbie. God, I am sorry, can't we talk—?"

"No. I never want to see you again, Brogan. I no longer love you. You killed it. Have a nice life," she spat as she slammed the door so hard the hinges rattled.

He sank to the lushly carpeted floor. He felt as if he had been eviscerated with a blunt knife. He bent one knee and rested his arm on it. Did he not deserve her contempt and her disgust? In his way he did love her a little. So why did he treat what they had so carelessly and so callously? She would never forgive him. He heard the blame in her voice and saw the accusation on her face. Abbie was right. He did this. He knew deep down he had the potential for love and a true and giving relationship, but it would not be with Abbie. Brogan's instinct had told him so two years ago, but he wanted to be wrong. She never understood his passion for music and his way of life. Abbie didn't even try to share his life or support him.

Brogan sat for the longest time in front of the fire. The flames snapping and crackling in the fireplace were the only sound in the hearth and the room. His blood pounded in his veins, and his head began to ache. The demon inside stirred.

Finally, he stood. Feck this.

Brogan opened the door and peered out into the hall. Volkswagen wasn't there for once. There was a slightly built black bloke standing as straight as a guard in front of Westminster. He glanced across the hall at Carly's room. He could hear the TV. She had it turned up very loud. The black guy—what was his name? He was a roadie on his crew. Brogan called to him and pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket.

"Take this and get me whatever you can. Pills, weed, and two bottles of Tyrconnell."

"Tyrconnell? What is it and where am I going to find it?"

"It's Irish single malt whiskey. Keep going to liquor stores until you find it. Don't bring me back any of the Jack Daniels shite or any blended whiskey."

The black bloke shifted from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. "I'm not supposed to…"

"Feck that. You want to keep your job, you'll do what I say," Brogan snarled. "Gio will be back—when?"

He shrugged. "Two hours."

"Make sure you're back long before."

The bloke turned on his heel and walked away. The guy didn't care. At this point, Brogan didn't care either. He just wanted to get wasted and forget it all, forget—her. Thing was, did he mean Tarrah or Abbie?

* * * *

Carly managed to chip off the two layers of makeup, brush her teeth, and climb into her favorite pair of silk pajamas. Going to sleep right now would be a blessing. Exhaustion made her eyelids heavy and raw to the touch. She'd hated babysitting ever since she was twelve years old, but it was her job in essence. As an only child in a house lacking in family warmth and love, she'd learned early on to hide and mask her emotions if she wanted to keep the peace. "Calm and even-keeled" was a credo she lived by. Keeping cool and detached came in handy in her job, though Byrne made it a challenge.

Earlier she could hear the yelling across the hall—no doubt Byrne and his girlfriend slicing each other to ribbons. She cringed as it reminded her of her parents and their many heated arguments. It seemed quiet now. Carly didn't want to know, hence turning the TV up really loud. The theme from the Rockford Files nearly blew her out of her seat. She gazed in the mirror and ran her tongue over her teeth. Minty fresh, ready to go.

Rinsing her hands, Carly smiled when she thought of the concert that night. They'd kicked ass. If only she could keep Byrne clean and sober for the rest of this tour, they might receive a good write-up in Rolling Stone. She didn't trust the hunk of an Irishman, however. He was in his room earlier pacing like a caged lion. To his credit, he kept the histrionics to a minimum, which made her suspicious to the extreme.

What did concern her was Byrne hadn't been eating or sleeping much as far as she could tell. Should she bring in a doctor as his brother had suggested? Perhaps force-feed the handsome bugger? She would throw a pizza in a blender and make him drink the concoction if she had to.

Carly recognized the heavy knuckled rap at her bathroom door. "Come in, Gio."

"Ah… boss. I went for a break to get some burgers, and well, I left Charles in charge, and…" Gio babbled incoherently.

"Spit it out, Gio."

"I don't think Byrne is breathing."

Her hands still wet, Carly ran across the hall with Gio right behind her. There was Byrne sprawled on his back on the floor surrounded by booze and pill bottles.

"He must have got Charles to get him some stuff. I'm so sorry, Carly."

Carly froze. Was he even breathing? His sculpted-in-marble chest wasn't moving. The headlines flashed through her brain. Byrne Dead of Overdose. Oh, shit.

Even in her panicked state, her Red Cross course kicked in through the morbid thoughts and sensational headlines. She quickly moved to his side, dropped to her knees, and began CPR. Were the compressions right? It had been years since she took the damned course. "Breathe, you selfish fucker—"

"Want me to call emergency? Get an ambulance? How do we handle this…?" Gio prattled.

Byrne choked up a huge wad of puke on the carpet. He almost asphyxiated on his own vomit. The obstruction now cleared, he began breathing again. Oh, my God, think of the headlines then: Byrne Chokes on Puke. Just like Hendrix. What a way to go—it was almost as bad as dying on the toilet. Carly's concern soon turned to irritation. What was wrong with this idiot?

"Gio, take him into the bathroom. I don't think he's done," she snapped.

Gio tucked Byrne under his arm as if he were a lightweight mannequin and walked to the bathroom. Carly followed them. The room was soon filled with the noise of Byrne retching and the fetid odor of rancid bile. Carly stood with her hands on her hips glaring at Byrne's muscular, bare back and tight, leather-clad ass. Even sick as a dog, he was gorgeous. There couldn't have been much food inside him, but still he heaved and gagged.

"Guess I am going to have to sleep in the same bed as this bastard, chain our legs together, and hold his cock so he can piss," Gio snarled in annoyance.

"It's obvious he can't be left alone, not for the rest of the tour."

"Should I fire Charles's ass?"

"No, Byrne probably threatened him, but I do want to see him tomorrow. I should get his side of the story. See it done." Carly exhaled. "I know of a doctor here in New York, Cascade has used him before. He's very discreet. I'll give him a call. Byrne should be checked over."

"Blarrrgggghhhh—" Bryne gagged.

"Gio, you should've told me you were leaving Byrne. I had no idea you were gone. Don't leave him again. If we have to take shifts staying with him, we will. I want no one else handling him but you and me. Got it?"

Gio nodded. "Yeah, I got it. As soon as he's done puking, do you want me to kick his ass?"

* * * *

Brogan was practically kissing the porcelain. Never had he been so sick, and the horrid smell lingering in the air wasn't helping his nausea. His head swirled, and his eyes couldn't focus. He could hear them talking, and he could make out a few words. They weren't happy, and he couldn't blame them. What was he trying to pull? Was he trying to kill himself? No feckin' way. Brogan heard the last part of their conversation, and he retched some more. Trickles of vomit oozed through his fingers.

Carly glanced at Gio and laughed softly. "No ass kicking tonight, but I don't rule it out for later if needed. Let's get him cleaned up and back into the bedroom."

It was the height of embarrassment. He was being washed by another man. He appreciated that Gio didn't look at him with disgust. The man went about his duties, and then helped him back into his suite.

"Can you stand?" Gio said.

"Aye, I think so."

Gio gently released him from the grip of his huge paws and stepped back.

Brogan's knees suddenly gave out, and he was flat on his back staring at the stucco ceiling.

Carly and Gio once more rushed to his side. "Did you hurt yourself? Are you okay? Are you going to be sick again?"

He didn't hear anger in her voice nor did he hear the nails on a chalkboard cadence for once. Carly's soft, feminine voice sounded concerned and compassionate. She got on her knees and pulled him to lean against her.

He reached up and wiped the burning, unshed tears from his eyes. "She left me. She hates me—"

"Do you want Gio to put you on the bed?" she asked gently. He wasn't used to this caring tone from her. In the short time of their acquaintance they had usually argued.

Suddenly the bed seemed like a great, unreachable height. "No. Just let the room stop spinning first."

"Look, Byrne, there can't be any more drugs, booze, or broads, or it will kill you. It almost did tonight." Carly smiled at him slightly and nodded her head in the direction of Gio. "Besides, next time I'll have Gio perform CPR and mouth-to-mouth on you." She chuckled softly, and the Volkswagen snarled and crossed his huge arms.

"Love, that's just bloody great," he muttered.

"Gio, go down to the restaurant—I know it's late—ask for some chicken broth and toast, and pay them anything."

When Gio left, Carly lifted his head. "What were you thinking? Death? Finality?"

"No. I just wanted to numb the feckin' pain," he croaked. "I didn't take enough pills to kill myself."

"No," she sighed. "Instead you almost choked to death on your own vomit. Smooth move, Byrne."

Carly got him to sit upright. He leaned against her chest. Carly smelled of clean soap, baby powder, and mint. Her silk pajamas felt cool against his raging, sensitive skin.

"I'm in real trouble here, Montgomery," he rasped. His throat still burned from his vomiting. "I gave my girlfriend VD—gonorrhea to be specific. I better get tested."

"No shit. We'll see a doctor as soon as possible. I'll make the call in a few minutes. Byrne, you're a damned mess."

"Thanks, love," he said softly.

Her hand gently stroked his chest, and the motion comforted him. Her voice sounded matter-of-fact and not judgmental. "So she dropped you. Do what other broken-hearted musicians do and write a song about your torment. It sells records. When was the last time you wrote anything?"

Carly spoke the truth. He had been touring on his last album for the past year and had done nothing new. He still had one record left on his contract with Cascade. He was bloody daft. He didn't think he was a stupid gob-shite, but obviously he was. He almost choked on his puke. Real bleedin' class. His cheeks flooded with heat and shame.

One of Carly's hands touched his hair. When was the last time someone just held him and comforted him? He burrowed the back of his head in between her breasts. She had more there than he'd thought. He was getting turned on, but he wanted the soothing reassurance of her touch even more. He sighed deeply and contentedly. His head's insistent throbbing started to subside. He closed his eyes. He could sleep right here in her embrace.

* * * *

Dear God, but the man was stunning. Having him lean against her like this seared her skin. She couldn't stop touching him. One hand tunneled through his silky two-tone hair, and the other stroked his bare chest. Did he just sigh, or did she? She should be raging with indignant anger; instead she comforted Byrne like a lost little boy. She was going to feed him damned chicken broth. All that was missing was the bedtime story. She had told him the truth. He was a mess, and worse than she originally thought. What dramas were next—paternity suits? Carly was surprised he didn't have a couple already. Every male rock star did, and considering how careless he seemed to be sex-wise, it was only a matter of time.

Her heart hitched behind her ribs. He had come so close to dying. Yes, her original thoughts might have been cold and calculating as she thought only of the headlines and of Nigel's reaction. Deep down, however, her emotions were more complicated and muddled. Holding him like this sparked a protective feeling she didn't even know she possessed. She had to admit physically he was everything she could ever want in a man. Her interest was sparked from her first gaze at him naked face-down on a bed.

Carly's hand continued to caress his chest. Byrne's body was muscled, tight, sculpted, and irresistible. Don't get her started on his voice. She'd read his file. He had an amazing three-octave range, each note sounding crystal clear and pure. He could have sung opera, he was so damned good. At first, Nigel wanted to go glam rock, much like Bowie did with his Ziggy Stardust persona, but Byrne refused. Probably because his vocal range and depth were often compared to Bowie, or maybe wearing glitter eye shadow and sequined jumpsuits just didn't appeal to him.

Carly had recently re-listened to his debut record, Within the Flames. The heights to which his voice soared gave her goose bumps and sent thrilling shivers down her spine. He was killing her softly with his song. She smiled at her own music pun. If Byrne's singing voice wasn't mesmerizing enough, when he spoke she swore hot liquid gushed from the deepest parts of her. The smoky, sexy Irish lilt only enhanced the undeniable appeal. His voice was musical in its cadence and smooth as dark chocolate. His damned unique scent was as appealing as his come-to-bed voice. Byrne exuded a spicy aroma that went beyond the generic hotel soap Gio had just used on him. No way. She wasn't going to let this egotistical rock monster get under her skin.

No fucking way.

Chapter Four

The odor of roast turkey filled his nostrils as soon as he opened the door. Brogan stepped across the threshold into the private banquet room of the Fairmount Plaza in Boston. The concert was tomorrow night at the Boston Garden, and then on to Newark. Three days had passed since his 'puke incident,' as Carly referred to it. His gaze fell upon the huge buffet laid out in front of him. As if he wanted to eat anything. When was the last time he had a decent meal with veg and the works?

Brogan's eyes grazed over Carly. He had to admit she was a hot chick. Besides the shapely, trim figure she had the loveliest expressive hazel eyes. The purple leather pants and matching purple leopard jacket were a turn on. She dressed the part of rock manager. Brogan thought she looked the most appealing in her oversized silk pajamas with her face fresh scrubbed like a little girl ready for bed. The way she'd held him…

What the hell was he doing? Abbie had thrown him aside only three nights ago, and already he was on the prowl? No, he really wasn't, if the insistent ache in his heart had anything to say about the matter. If he were to admit it, the ache had always been there since the night Tarrah was killed brutally in front of him. A surprising development since he supposedly willed his heart to turn to rock the very same night.

* * * *

Carly sucked air between her teeth as she watched Byrne stride confidently toward her. Good God almighty, the man was a stunner. She had to stop this inward drooling. She couldn't put her finger on why he appealed to her outside the obvious good looks. There were layers of hurt and heartbreak in this man, and not just his recent smash-up with the Malibu Barbie girlfriend. There was more. It fueled him, drove him, and maybe fed the demon inside him. She knew he had one. The tortured look she caught in his eyes was proof. Damn, it made him even more appealing. She could not show her interest, ever. So much for her determination to keep her emotions tightly masked. She would have to try harder.

"Hope you're hungry, Byrne. I expect you to chow down here," she said.

Byrne picked up a plate and served some food for himself. "Who in the feck is going to eat all this? The turkey is the size of a small child."

"Funny, Byrne. Didn't know you could be. The crew can do mop-up. I said for them to come in an hour." She ladled string beans onto his plate. "Don't forget your greens, baby."

He snarled quietly but took the food to the table.

Carly sat at the opposite end. She observed Byrne eyeing the white wine sitting on the table. Damn, she should have made sure there was no alcohol of any type. His eyes were wide and full of temptation as if he could drink the whole bottle. She observed his hands trembled slightly.

"Did you take your meds?" Carly asked.

"Aye, I'm a walking Walgreens. I'm taking two different types of antibiotic, Bennies for the alcohol withdrawal, and anti-anxiety pills. And let's not forget the sleeping pills. What is the feckin' difference between these drugs and what I was taking?" he growled.

"These ones are legal and prescribed from a doctor. You can't have any wine, no alcohol at all, Byrne. You heard the doctor; your liver enzymes are out of whack. Eat your turkey." Carly lifted a forkful of whipped mashed potatoes to her mouth.

"Thanks, mum. Want to wipe my arse too?"

"No, I'll leave that for Gio," she said sweetly.

She gazed down the table at Byrne. Jesus, did she have to cut up his meat too? He looked so forlorn and lost. He reached for his fork and began to eat. The doctor had said his blood sugars were screwy as well. He wasn't healthy, and he had just turned thirty. Frankly, she was worried. Maybe too much so.

"I don't mean to nag," she said in a gentler voice. "Believe it or not, there are people concerned about you."

"Worried I won't make them money, you mean," he snapped.

"Well, yes. Byrne, there are dozens and dozens of people relying on you for their welfare and their income. You have to keep it together."

"Jaysus, put more bloody pressure on me, why don't you?"

"I don't mean to," she replied softly.

Byrne glared down the table at her. Yikes, he looked pissed off. He grumbled something about not needing her pity, then shoveled food into his mouth.

"So it's really over with your girlfriend," she ventured.

He slammed his fork on the table. "I gave her VD, cheated on her dozens of times, and lied. What do you think?" Byrne picked up his fork and began to eat again. "I'll live. I'll get over it, I always do."

Yes, there was more going on here than his so-called broken heart, and damn her eyes for being a curious kitty, but she wanted to know everything about this man. Yeah, she was remaining real detached here.

"So sluts are also off the menu." She cringed. Did she just say that?

"I guess I won't be fucking you then," he snarled.

Carly gasped aloud in shock but came right back. "Not with that diseased cock of yours!" Oh, God, her mouth was working before her brain again. "Look Byrne… I—"

"Kick a man while he's down. Thanks for reminding me I'm a messed up male whore."

She glanced up. His expression showed his pain, and she felt like shit. "You brought up the VD first! You wouldn't have caught VD if you… you… Damn. It's none of my business. I don't care, Byrne. You infected the beautiful princess and there are consequences. Do you want the health department coming after you for wantonly spreading a disease? God knows how many you've infected. You don't even know their names. Sounds like a male whore to me."

She'd done it again. She stuffed turkey in her mouth—anything to shut herself up. Why was he stirring such emotions in her, enough that she blurted whatever came to her mind? She had more control than this.

They ate quietly for the next ten minutes. Carly's insides were quaking. What possessed her to lecture him on his moral behavior? If he wanted to screw a brown paper bag it wasn't her concern. She was too involved with this man and his messed up life. She broke her own rules to stay removed, detached, and professional. She didn't dare ask Nigel to reassign her as this was a plum assignment. Nigel liked to use his own people as managers for his acts; the codicil was written in the contracts. The good of the record company came first. It wasn't exactly fair, but Nigel did treat all his people well. No one dreamed Byrne would become so famous. Capitol Records and some of the other bigger labels were already sniffing around him. Carly's job was to see to it Byrne was happy and stayed with Cascade, and she was screwing it up.

A snarl, almost animal-like in tone, came from the end of the table. Byrne leapt out of his chair, grabbed her arm, and pulled her against the wall. "Stop. I can see the pity on your face. Don't you ever feel pity for me," he saidangrily.

She shoved at his chest. "I don't, you Irish shit! Back off."

He stood way too close, and his nearness affected her. Byrne's potent presence surrounded her and made her body react, damn him. She could feel the anger and annoyance come off him in waves. Her hand brushed his rock hard chest. No wonder he went shirtless on stage. She ached to touch him again, but she pulled her hand away.

He leaned in close. "Why is your hair red and black? Couldn't make up your mind?"

"You're a fine one to talk," she mumbled.

"I like changing my hair color and style. It's like trying on a new persona." He laughed huskily.

"Yeah, you know all about that." She snorted.

"Come on—tell me the real color of your hair and I'll tell you mine."

"Enough games. Let me go. You're acting drunk." But she knew he wasn't. She had touched a nerve, and he gave her the full arrogant 'Rock God' façade.

He grabbed her wrists in one hand and held them against the wall above her head. Byrne's eyes scanned down her body. She was angry now, and her chest heaved in irritation. He looked down between her legs. "Love, I know a way I can find out your true hair color."

"Jesus, your brother was right: You are a pig. Going to take me against the wall like you do those groupie whores? Just try it and I'll have Gio tear you to pieces."

Byrne began to laugh. "You know, Montgomery, I haven't been this entertained in ages."

"Let me go or I'll whistle for him."

He released her and backed away. "Just having some fun—"

"I'll show you fun." Carly reached down and grabbed his balls in a vise grip capable of cracking walnuts. Holy shit… her fingers brushed past quite the erection. He was turned on? He was a pig! She squeezed tighter because, damn him, she was turned on as well. This man had her confused six ways from Sunday, and she didn't need this. Byrne cried out with a definite girly scream.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, back me against a wall and make lewd comments. You treat me with respect, or I will have these nailed to a wall. I don't take any abuse off any man, verbal or otherwise—got it?"

"Aye," he croaked an octave higher than he usually spoke.

She let him go and walked away with a slight smile on her face. She could have brought him to his knees very easily; however, she'd held back. The rumors were true. Carly heard the talk of Byrne's prowess. All right, damn him. She heard he could strap his cock to his leg. Her anger quickly dissipated. She wished to hell she was a manager to Carole King or someone less trouble. The last week had certainly not been dull. She was annoyed but also intrigued.

* * * *

Brogan ached. Not only where she had grabbed him but in his raging, off-the-charts arousal. This woman interested him like no other in a long time, not even Abbie. His hand moved down over the front of his jeans. He was going to be sore there in more ways than one. To him, women and sex were a game. Her frank talk irritated him, but he was more fascinated than anything else. He wanted to see her reaction to his arrogant self. Carly stood up to him, and he admired her. Hell, he liked it. Her balls were bigger than his. Far out.

Chapter Five

Before the show in Newark and the concert dates in Canada, Brogan and the tour took a brief break. Cascade Records rented a small house in a secluded area of Cape Cod. The crew was at a nearby hotel while Brogan, Carly, and Gio relaxed at the seaside home. Brogan was sober for a week. All the damned drugs he was on certainly took the edge off, but the demon was still in there snarling silently.

Brogan walked on the small stretch of beach at dusk. He glanced at the house. Carly was inside discussing the upcoming concerts with Gio, working out security and other details that bored the shite out of him. They hadn't talked much since the turkey dinner. As one side-effect of their interaction, he had been in a constant state of arousal ever since she crushed his bollocks. Actually, he derived some amusement from watching her try to keep their dealings removed and professional. Aye, she couldn't hide the flush of her cheeks or the direction of her gaze. Carly constantly scanned his body with her intense stare, usually stopping the longest on his crotch. He made no effort to hide his interest. She no doubt had been aware of his stiff cock when she held his balls between her fingers.

Would he act on the obvious sizzle that simmered between them? He kicked at the sand with his boot. He had heard of Carly Montgomery along the Cascade Record grapevine but had never met her before now. Brogan didn't bother much with the office and the minions who worked under Nigel. He winced. Aye, he was arrogant. However, even though he'd heard she didn't sleep around, there was gossip of a short-term fling with a roadie two years ago.

Brogan stopped walking and gazed up at the star laden sky. It was a beautiful late summer night. A cool, bracing sea breeze skimmed in off the ocean. The hint of impending autumn teased the air. The half moon was bright, casting a soft illumination over the beach. The moon's cascading light also revealed a dinghy coming ashore. Inside the small boat were two scantily clad women. He had to admire their ingenuity. How did they even know where he was?

The two women giggled and hurried to him, gushing adoringly about his music, his voice, and his body. When they began to undress him and cover him with admiring kisses, he didn't protest. Nor did he complain when they brought bottles of beer ashore. No harm in a little foreplay or maybe a drink or two. He didn't have to have sex with them. Just some fun. He told the dark-haired chick she could wank him off but no oral or otherwise. Being worshipped and venerated by women had always appealed to him. Besides, he already had a hard-on before they appeared, and there was no sense putting a perfectly good erection to waste. The women giggled again and began to undress. He stretched out flat in the cool sand. The two women began to crawl all over him. The dark-haired one began to fondle his cock. She teased his swollen head briefly with her tongue and then picked up the pace of her hand strokes until he moaned for release. The dyed blonde was all but inhaling his mouth and tongue. He reached and cupped her breasts, and his thumbs rubbed her nipples into hardness. The chick leaned over him, dangling her tits enticingly. They looked as rich and succulent as low-hanging fruit. His mouth closed over one, and he sucked eagerly. Oh, yeah. More.

* * * *

Carly flipped through the stack of contracts and paper-clipped the relevant ones together. This was taking longer than she'd expected. Byrne's previous manager, Byron, left things in a bit of a mess toward the end. Gio stood, stretched, and walked to the large picture window overlooking the beach. "Is that a boat?"

Carly scrambled out of her seat and rushed to the window. She cupped her hand and peered out through the glass. Damn it, it was a boat, and Byrne was nowhere in sight.

"I'll check it out. I need a little fresh air anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll yell if I need you. Have a drink and relax for a bit." She touched Gio briefly on his arm, and then moved toward the sliding doors. Gio, for all his brawn, had plenty of brains to spare. They had been working together for two years, and she considered him a good friend and not just her assistant. He was darkly handsome, and his Italian heritage was evident in the dusky olive tone of his skin and his dark, seductive eyes. She had never had any longings toward Gio. To her, he was the older brother she always wished she had. He was kind, funny, and protective.

She stepped out on the large deck and closed the door. Carly inhaled the brisk sea air. She wished they could stay here a month and not just a few days. She headed down the steps leading to the beach area. The gentle waves lapped on the sand, but above the melodic sound of the ocean, Carly could hear female giggles.

Carly couldn't believe this. She glanced at the small boat bobbing up and down in the water by the shoreline. Did these bimbos have radar? How in hell did they know where to find him? She never dreamed she would have to put a guard on the beach, for Christ's sake!

She walked toward the giggles. Tucked away in a secluded area by the sand dunes were Byrne and two nearly naked women. She glanced down at Byrne stretched out on the beach like he was a picnic lunch with those bitch ants crawling all over him. She was about to say something sarcastic and snippy, but her throat closed over. It hit her then and there. She wanted to be one of those women. Hell, she wanted to be the only woman to crawl all over him like a cheap rug. Her mouth dropped open in shock. Feelings of hurt and disappointment roared though her, but why? For close to two weeks she had been fighting her attraction to Byrne and denying her emotions. The raw jealousy roaring through her body couldn't be denied. She did something against her very core. She turned and ran. Carly's stomach churned about this whole scenario and her surprising reaction to what she witnessed.

She heard one of the women say, "Did you invite another woman to join us?"

She glanced back to see Byrne scramble to his feet. Lord God, he was naked and fully aroused. Wow, he could strap his dick to his leg. He told the women to leave in not very friendly terms. They gathered their clothes, grumbled, and got back in the boat and headed farther down the shore. She looked away and kept running.

"Carly!"

Escaping the scene was difficult. Her high-heeled boots were sinking in the sand and slowing her progress. She could hear him chasing after her. Byrne caught her and brought them both down to their knees in the wet sand as the tide swirled about them. Carly struggled at first and then, without thinking, she lifted her hand to touch the back of his head. He was behind her, and she was wedged in between his muscular thighs and his huge erection. Byrne's hand cupped her breast, and his cock grew harder and larger at her back. He nuzzled her neck, and his tongue swirled her ear lobe.

"Carly," he whispered."I didn't drink anything,"

Like that would make everything all right. She didn't smell any booze on his breath, just hot, spicy, aroused male. He kissed her neck again, turned her head slightly, and then nibbled along her chin. Oh, God, she was turned on. His naked skin had a life force of its own. The heat he radiated. The sizzle of desire made her dizzy like she'd had those drinks herself. Byrne moved his hips in the sand and rocked her back against him. All she had to do was lift her short skirt… What the hell was she thinking?

* * * *

Brogan was naked, hard as stone, and he didn't care. He moved in front of her. He was still on his knees, as was she. His hand gently caressed Carly's face and her glorious hair.

"Beautiful—" He meant what he said, really meant it. Not the fake verbiage he had been spouting for ages to nameless women. He loved her freckles. Didn't even know she had freckles until the night he saw her with all the makeup off. He loved the way her full mouth curved in annoyance at him and the way her eyes flashed all manner of emotions even though she struggled to hide them. She was magnificent. He lowered his head. Just a taste.

The kiss was terrifyingly tender, slow, and languid. He did not force himself on her, just savored. Carly Montgomery tasted as no other woman before in his life. This was a revelation. Not even Tarrah, Abbie… none of them. Ever. She opened her mouth tentatively, and he slowly licked every corner of her sensual lushness. A small moan escaped her lips.

Carly pushed him to the sand, her hand firm on his bare thigh. She glanced down at his erect cock and then up to his face. They both stared at each other for a long time, their gazes fused with untold passion and want. He let her take the aggressive role. Brogan waited. Her hand was like a branding iron on his skin. She started a slow circular motion on his hip. He groaned. Take my cock in your hand, your mouth, your pussy, anywhere, I don't care. He could see the desire smoldering in her gaze. Jaysus, he wanted her. Just as he leaned upward to kiss her, she pulled back.

* * * *

Carly stood shakily to her feet and turned away from Byrne. She wanted him like a kid wants her favorite toy on Christmas morning. She couldn't do this. She was seconds away from lifting her skirt and impaling herself on his huge cock. Sure, people had on-the-road flings… hell, she'd had one or two over the years. They meant nothing. When she gazed into those whiskey-and-grass-colored eyes of his, she knew it would mean everything. He was hopeless. No, he hadn't drunk anything, but he'd let those women have their way with him. He was a whore, and she couldn't figure out why.

She heard him say, "Carly?" in a voice so raw, so emotional she almost ran back to him. But she didn't, she kept walking.

Newark, New Jersey

Nevan cooled his heels in Brogan's private suite. The concert was tomorrow night. He had called Carly, and she'd reserved him the room across the hall from Brogan. She wouldn't tell him much about his brother, which had him guessing a lot had happened. She said, "Ask your brother." The girlfriend dropped him, Reese had told him as much. What else had happened since Philadelphia, he wasn't sure he even wanted to know.

He crossed his arms and leaned back into the plush sofa. Brogan was a funny bloke, like he was one to talk. He certainly was the prettiest of all the brothers, which attracted the ladies. But Nevan had the feeling Brogan was broken inside and had been for a long time.

He wouldn't ask him any questions about whatever he carried inside him. Nevan had enough of his own secrets. Pity was the reason he'd decided to make the trip to Newark. Pity for Brogan, the rich rock star. Since Reese had washed his hands of him, and deservedly so, he couldn't abandon his older brother as well. He had to see for himself how Brogan was faring.

* * * *

Brogan walked into the suite. There was Nevan lounging on the couch. He had mixed feelings about having anyone from the family here. He was even more vulnerable, if it were possible. Growing up in Dublin, the Byrnes didn't have much. His father, Seamus, was a laborer, who barely kept the wolf from the door. In a family of seven children there wasn't much privacy either. The five boys were in one room and the two girls in another. Stacked like bleedin' cord wood. They had hand-me-down clothes, and it was a struggle to keep food on the table. With his first big royalty check, Brogan bought his parents a good-sized home on Marrowbone Lane. He gave all his siblings money. He brought Nevan and Reese over to the States and gave them high-paying jobs as his assistants. Times were tough in Ireland, so he was glad to help. Say what you will, he loved his family.

Brogan's thoughts drifted back to his parents. To this day they still loved each other deeply and made sure their home was alive in laughter and affection, then and now. So what was wrong with him or Nevan, for that matter? Neither of them had any lasting, meaningful relationship like their parents.

Nevan, who was eighteen months younger, never let anyone get close. He still didn't. Maybe Brogan should take a page from his book, but really who had he let close lately? Not even Abbie had understood him. He kept a part of himself removed from her and from everyone. The closest he'd come to opening his heart was when he kissed Carly on the beach. He thought about the devastating kiss constantly and thought about her. She acted as if the whole incident didn't happen. The women on the beach—what possessed him? He knew. The demon. He took a seat opposite Nevan.

"So, my brother, how's it been going? Able to keep sober?" Nevan asked pointedly.

"Barely. I'm on some prescriptions to help deal with it."

He wasn't telling anyone about the VD. He was shocked he'd told Carly. Abbie was ashamed, so she wouldn't tell. Frankly, he was a little ashamed himself. He certainly did not want to hear "I told you so, brother" from Nevan. Not today. Did anything rattle Nevan? Well, one thing he would tell him about was his brush with death. He wanted to talk to someone about it even though he had tried to put it out of his mind.

"I almost died in New York." He said the words in a firm strong voice. "Wasn't my intent, I just… Abbie broke up with me and I didn't take it well. I drank, swallowed down some pills, and almost choked to death on my own vomit. Carly saved me with CPR."

Nevan kept silent, but his steady, assessing gaze did not waver from Brogan.

"You think me a stupid wanker, don't you, Nevan? You always did. I can see the disdain in your eyes."

Nevan shrugged. "No more a wanker than the rest of us. But lately, aye. Do you blame the lass for giving you the kick? I don't. And Reese? You did some damage there. I'm not sure he will forgive you anytime soon."

Reese. God knows what he said in Philly. It had to be bad. Reese could be slow to anger, but once he was riled it would take the devil's own shoulder to shift him. "I'm a feckin' mess."

"Aye, my brother, you are. And the mess is not of a recent event, I'll wager. Whatever is smashed inside you manifests itself with this destructive behavior. I thought your music would be a productive outlet for whatever damage, but it seems to have made things worse."

Before Brogan could answer there was a sharp rap on the door. Carly entered, teetering precariously on red and orange platform shoes through the long shag carpet. Brogan's face lit up like the boardwalk in Blackpool at her appearance. The flush spread to his entire body.

"Nevan Byrne, you made it. Do you like your room? Only the best for the brother." She smiled warmly.

She sat down next to Nevan on the sofa. "You must join us for dinner tonight, Nevan, I hope you like steak. Let me know your preferences, food- and drink-wise, and I'll see it done."

"You make a bloke feel welcome, Carly. Thank you."

"I'm looking forward to some conversation. Your brother isn't much of a talker," Carly teased, glancing briefly at Brogan.

"Well, lass, I'm not much better, but for you I will try."

"Tell me, are there more brothers besides you two and the younger one—what was his name—Reese?"

"Aye, there's Brogan, myself, Reese, and two in their late teens, Barry and Shane," Nevan replied.

"Wow. You have sisters too? You have a big family. I always wished I had siblings," Carly replied, her tone friendly.

Brogan watched the conversation and byplay between Carly and Nevan and his heart clenched in his chest. She hardly glanced his way. She didn't speak to him. He might as well not even be in the bleedin' room. Since the night on the beach she only spoke to him when needed, or she sent Gio with her orders. He let her walk away from him. He should have gone after Carly on the beach, but he was stunned by the feel of her lips and her body on top of his. Brogan nearly came right there when she pushed him down on his back. He ached for something and someone he had never ached for before in his life. Not even Tarrah. He knew nothing, nothing at all. And Abbie? He loved her in his way, but she didn't move him like this. How quickly he seemed to have gotten over her. Not much substance there at all. Not much substance in himself, truth be told.

Carly stood. "I'll check on dinner. Also don't forget the sound check is at eight, Byrne. Bring Nevan with you." She headed for the door without a backward glance at him. His eyes scanned those sexy platforms all the way up those gorgeous legs to the tight denim skirt. Shite, he was getting hard. He shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. The door closed softly behind Carly.

"All right, what in the feck is going on, Brogan? You could cut the bleedin' tension, sexual and otherwise, in here with a knife. You got over Abbie quick enough."

Brogan glanced at his brother. "Aye, I guess I did. Makes me a prat, I know. I can't help myself. You're right, I'm smashed, a mess, and I don't know how to fix it." He paused, trying to steady his voice. "Can you stay for a few days, Nevan, please?"

Nevan remained quiet for a few moments. "Aye. Until you leave for Canada. I'll stay, my brother."

Chapter Six

Toronto International Airport Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Carly couldn't believe this. The customs officials had their luggage torn apart and the guitars out of their cases. They were fondling her panties, for God's sake! Gio seemed amused, but she wasn't. God, it was only Canada; why all the fuss? Well, since Hendrix was caught with drugs back in 1970 they were cracking down on anyone who even had a whiff of rock star about them, or so Carly assumed. Byrne looked the part in his trademark leather pants, boots, black silk shirt unbuttoned to his waist, and leather vest. Carly frowned. Hendrix again. The parallels were spooky. Be damned if Byrne would die in some anonymous hotel room. She would make it her mission to keep him safe, from himself most of all.

"Whose luggage is this, Mr Byrne?" the officer called out.

"Mine."

The officer reached in between the lining and pulled out a small plastic bag. Byrne groaned aloud.

"This appears to be cannabis, around fourteen grams, which is about an ounce. You are aware this is an illegal substance, Mr Byrne?"

"Yes."

Carly snarled. "Gio, I thought you checked his luggage!"

"I did! I wasn't aware I had to cut the damned lining and check there!"

Carly's stomach did cartwheels. They were in deep shit. Again, the headlines rolled through her head. Nigel would be livid as he hated scandal and drama.

The customs officer approached the trio. "If you'll take a seat, I'll call the police. You've broken a federal law, and it has to be reported. We will be here some time, as we will be going through everything again, and we may insist on a strip search."

Carly glanced at Gio and Byrne and then stared at the ceiling. Could they be humiliated any further? Trying to keep her voice steady, she replied. "Of course, no problem."

All three moved to the wooden seats against the wall. One customs officer remained behind to watch them while the other went in the next room to call the local city police.

"Carly, I swear I didn't know it was there. I'm assuming the grass is from a tour months ago."

"Byrne, do you know what this means? Headlines and bad publicity. We didn't need this. Jesus, you could be in real trouble here! You are lucky this isn't some third world toilet. As it is there might be prison time," she whispered furiously. "You have the world by the balls and you are ruining everything. You and your damned whores and drugs." Carly exhaled and then continued. "What will Nigel say? He will blame me, and he'll be right. I should've been more vigilant. He'll replace me."

"It won't come to that, I promise," he replied, his voice sounding contrite. "No one is getting fired. Or replaced."

Carly took a deep breath, stood, and approached the customs officer. "Look, I don't know what the laws are here in Canada for cannabis possession. Is it as bad as the States?"

The man shook his head. He motioned toward Byrne. "He will be charged. The Toronto police are on their way. First offense could be a fine or up to six months in jail, but it's mostly fines. Get a lawyer. There is a discharge option."

"Is there any way to avoid any publicity on this?" Her voice sounded desperate.

"Probably not. Sorry. You know how it is. As soon as they take him in the word will get out."

Carly exhaled a shaky breath, and with it went her annoyance. Byrne stood and walked to her. The look on his face was tender and concerned. Her legs were threatening to give out. This damned man. He touched her arms, and an electric current sizzled, snapped, and covered her whole body.

"It will be all right, Carly. I'm so sorry this happened. I swear, I didn't know. I wouldn't do anything to upset you."

Brogan Byrne did upset her on so many levels and in so many ways. She curled her fists. Carly wanted nothing more than to roam her hands all over his damned gladiator chest and through the ebony and ivory silky hair on his head. She wanted to hold him close and protect him, but she also wanted to kick his stupid, careless ass. Her eyes roamed over the glorious torso on display.

Oh, daammmmnnnnn—

* * * *

Brogan released her arms and they returned to their seats. He honestly didn't know how the dope got in there. When did he last use that set of luggage? He had more than one. He racked his brain. Fourteen months ago on the southern tour, he got the weed in Kentucky. He remembered. Brogan really didn't know it was there. If he did, he would have smoked it long ago.

He could feel the irritation rolling off Carly like waves cresting at the beach. The emotion was beyond anger. He could sense her irritation. He also sensed something else. It was like she cared. Surely, he was mistaken. What could he say? She was right. He fecked up royally. He didn't like her being angry at him or disappointed. For her, he tried to be a better man, and he failed miserably.

Brogan's heart clenched. He didn't want her replaced. He had grown accustomed to her face, her voice, and her commanding presence. He liked the frank way in which she spoke to him and her no-nonsense attitude. Never mind those lush curves, sexy freckles, and her long, glorious legs. He closed his eyes and thought of the kiss on the beach again as he had been for the last ten days. He wanted to do more than kiss. Back in the VIP lounge at the Philly airport, he had thought he would fuck her for sport, a conquest. It no longer appealed. When Brogan's unused heart compressed in his chest, he knew. He was falling for her.

* * * *

Hotel Marquis De Montcalm

Downtown Montreal, Quebec, Canada

After being printed and charged in Toronto, Brogan's concert went off without a hitch. Of course it made the papers. There was a shot of him in cuffs being led into the police station. He had to call Nevan to tell him the details and to get him to explain to the rest of the family back home in Dublin. Explain what? That he made a fool of himself—again? He knew he would have to call his parents soon. Somehow talking to them about his mishaps would make it all too real. He would be the cover story for next week's Rock Reports magazine. Bloody great.

Brogan sat in his private suite. He glanced at the finger foods on the nearby table. The snacks didn't appeal. He wanted a drink or three. The concert at the Montreal Forum was tomorrow night. He would give credit to the Canadians fans. They didn't care about his arrest for drug possession. The story made more of a sensational splash in the States than it did here. Typical. When this tour was finished, maybe he should head back to Dublin for a while. He might have to if US Customs Service made a stink about his arrest. They could refuse him re-entry across the border. He wasn't a citizen. The American government could revoke his work visa. What a muck-shite mess.

* * * *

Carly stepped into the suite. She drew a sharp breath. She had been avoiding Byrne as much as she could since the arrest. The phone call to Nigel had not been pleasant. He blamed her as she knew he would. Her job hung in the balance, though Nigel didn't come right out and say so. The next day he called back and in a calmer tone stated he was giving her another chance. Did Byrne have anything to do with Nigel's change in mood?

Her gaze scanned over his stunning body. His tie-dyed undershirt hugged every muscled plane of his chest. She should walk away and continue to avoid him, but the forlorn look on his face drew her to him. The lost little boy thing he had going appealed.

Carly sat down on the leather sofa next to him. "You talked to Nigel, didn't you? On my behalf."

"Aye. Why not? I have some sway. Why not use it? You're a good manager, Carly. You're not to blame for my feckin' disasters. I swear I didn't know the weed was there," Byrne whispered.

"I believe you."

To her everlasting shock she found she did believe him. She more or less had believed him in Toronto, but she hadn't spoken it aloud until tonight. It was her experience these petulant rock stars would lie through their teeth to get their way. She could tell when they were lying. Byrne was not being untruthful here.

He moved closer and put his arm around her. "You don't know what it means that you believe me. I think we make a good team."

Carly couldn't help but snort. "You're so full of shit, Byrne. Irish blarney, that's you."

The good-natured ribbing was soon replaced by something else: a blast of raw sensual heat very similar to the night on the beach. His skin sizzled and enveloped her in his sexual aura. The wave seared her where her side touched his. In a smooth, quick move, Byrne pulled her onto his lap. She didn't fight it. His hand caressed her bare leg with decided purpose and thoroughness. The feeling sent sparks to all parts of her body.

"What in hell are you doing?" she whispered.

Byrne nuzzled her neck. "Touching you."

The hardness of his cock was very evident under her ass. Carly had already seen his impressive equipment on the beach. She couldn't help imagining it now, considering she was all but impaled on him. He pulled her in tighter, his hand stroked her back, and his lips moved closer.

"I like sitting women on my lap, always did," he murmured.

"Byrne… don't."

She didn't move off him or push him away. He laid light kisses on her cheeks and her chin while purposely avoiding her lips. He teased her, and his sensual mouth was the weapon of choice. The Irish bastard.

"Don't what? Touch you? Kiss you?"

Oh, God, she wanted him to do more than touch and kiss her. She had closed the door when she walked in, but she hadn't secured it. Would it be frigging obvious if she jumped to her feet, ran to the door, and locked them in? Carly was weary. The emotional roller coaster ride she'd been on since taking this assignment chipped away at her resolve to stay immune to Byrne. She didn't want to fight it anymore. Her hand touched his cheek. Freshly shaved. His greenish, whiskey-colored eyes were clear, lucid, and filled with desire. Holy hell.

She kissed him with a long, deep, and passionate purposefulness that bordered on wantonness. In return he growled, and the snarl sounded sexy and animalistic. In a single slick move, Byrne placed her on her back with him on top. All the while their kiss continued as his hands explored her body. Before she could blink, her top was unbuttoned and her bra pushed toward her chin to expose her breasts. Byrne groaned again.

"Bloody stunning. I knew they would be."

His mouth clamped on one of her nipples, and she cried out. His tongue swirled, his lips sucked, and her spine arched upward. Her hands tunneled through his silken black and white hair. Oh, God, she was so turned on. She wanted to be fucked, hard and deep. One of Byrne's hands cupped her breast and squeezed as he bit on her nipple. The electric sensations sparked her lust to even greater heights. Carly had never been this damned horny. She spread her legs as far apart as she could in invitation.

"Fuck me, Byrne. Fuck me." She didn't recognize her own voice. It was harsh and raspy like the possessed kid in the Exorcist movie. She crossed her legs tightly behind his ass with her high heels pressed into his lower back. She was seconds away from begging and pleading. She would do anything to have his cock pound her fast and furiously. She moved her own hips and moaned her frustration.

Byrne took one last lick of her red, swollen nipple, and then gazed into her eyes. "No, I don't want to fuck. I want to make love—to you."

He kissed her hard with a possessive claiming. His hips moved in a sensual rhythm, and she could feel every thick, long inch of his prick pressed against her core. His tongue was magical, its thrusts matching the movement of his slim, muscular hips. They were both panting and moaning.

"Oh, Jaysus!" he groaned. He pulled back and gazed down at her. "Do you want to go further?"

Did she? Hell, yeah, she'd said so. Wait a second—VD. "Do you have a rubber?"

"Aye, in my wallet. Are you sure, Carly?" His voice was husky, sexy, and turning her to liquid.

"Aye," she smiled.

Byrne laughed. Even his laugh sounded sexy as hell. She had never seen a man move so fast. He unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out through his fly. She couldn't keep the gasp from escaping her lips. Okay, it was a slight exaggeration he could strap his prick to his leg but it was damned close. Seeing his dick up close aroused her further. He rolled on the condom.

Carly laid back and closed her eyes. She expected to be fucked. Instead, Byrne again kissed her. The result was molten, blood-boiling ecstasy. The head of his cock teased her soaking wet folds. Still, he didn't enter her. Slowly and languidly he caressed her body and senses. She opened her eyes. He was beautiful. No, Byrne was not fucking her. He was making love to her, just as he'd said. Carly blinked back her gathering tears. She did not expect this tender, thorough lovemaking from Brogan Byrne, the rock monster. His cock moved aside the slim piece of silk covering her wetness, pushed into her folds a couple of inches, and then he pulled back. Next he moved in a little deeper and then back out again. It was torture—agonizing, sweet torment. She wriggled her hips impatiently. Carly could feel the smile in his kiss. His tongue plunged deeper, and at the exact same moment his cock pushed in to the hilt.

She cried out, not from pain but from pure raw pleasure. His tongue thrusts matched the movement of his cock. She dug her heels into his back even more, angling her hips for a slick, solid stroke. This was beyond anything she'd ever experienced. Her hands grasped the muscular globes of his jean-clad ass. Carly pulled Byrne in as tight as she could. He pulled away from the kiss and nuzzled her neck again before he traced passionate kisses down to her collarbone, then up to her neck. His tongue whorled her ear and he bit down on her earlobe. Oh, hell, the sensations. Still, his cock continued his desirous pumping. He never broke his stride.

* * * *

Brogan didn't plan this—not today, anyway. He halted his movements and looked down into her flushed face. Perhaps Carly was interested in him a little. He never thought it would be enough to consent to sex. Okay, maybe he had an inkling she might be game for a toss in the sheets. This was beyond some quick shag on the sofa, even though every indication stated this is just what it was.

He stared deeply into her glorious hazel eyes. For once he hid nothing, and for once neither did Carly. Something passed between them beyond the physical. A joining of souls. His hands cupped her blushing cheeks. "Do you feel it?"

Carly bit her lower lip. She nodded in agreement as she understood his meaning. Brogan brushed his thumb past her full, swollen lips. Aye, this was more than sex. He moved his hips, and Carly moaned. He increased the power of his thrusts. He wanted to savor every touch and every slide of his cock. His thoughts were interrupted by Carly's moans growing more intense. She was going to come. He captured her lips in his and swallowed her cry of desire as she shook and shuddered under him. Feckin' hell, he was going to black out from the intensity of his own building orgasm. His head lifted, and he growled through his clenched teeth as his climax followed hers. The spasms went on for several minutes. Carly clasped his body and rode the wave with him. Brogan lowered his forehead to hers.

"Carly—Jaysus."

"Aye," she whispered, cupping his cheek.

Brogan heard heavy boot steps in the hall. He scrambled off Carly, tucked his semi-erect prick back in his jeans, and pulled up the zipper. Carly stuffed her luscious tits back in her bra, and her fingers struggled to do up the buttons on her shirt. He helped her, and his reward was a dazzling, sweet smile that shot straight to his little-used heart, giving it a decided zap.

Gio walked into the room. Brogan glanced at Carly. It was bleedin' obvious what they'd been doing. Their clothes were still slightly askew, they were both flushed, and the unmistakable odor of hot, musky sex hung in the air. He turned his head to gaze at Gio.

Gio gave him an I'm-going-to-kick-your-arse glare. "It's Nigel. He wants to talk to Carly right away. Like now." His intense gaze never wavered from Brogan.

Carly jumped to her feet and walked out of the room with Gio.

"What are you playing at, boss? You want to get burned… by Byrne?"

"Funny, Gio. Let me handle it, I know what I'm doing," she whispered hoarsely. They closed the door behind them.

Brogan heard their exchange, and his face broke into a wide smile. He was alive, more than he had been for years. He flopped onto the sofa as his limbs still snapped and sizzled with lustful awareness. His legs were shaky, and he was still feckin' hard. He wanted her in all ways, and the revelation shocked him. Could there be something between them, something more than the obvious? He crossed his arms and he frowned. This was one of his many weaknesses. He fell too fast for the lasses. Well, certain lasses anyway. What in the hell was he playing at? At first he wanted to seduce her for the sport of it, put her on her knees in front of him like he had so many other women. He didn't want that anymore. He liked sitting with Carly talking quietly, he liked her company, and he liked her, liked her a lot. This was getting dangerous. No one could heal him or undo the scarring on his heart and soul. His thoughts drifted to Tarrah. How could his life ever be worthy of her sacrifice? He knew his life would never be worth it. No one knew his guilt, his pain, and no one ever would.

Chapter Seven

Carly heard the knock at her hotel room door. It was Byrne. She sensed his damned sexy aura and could smell his enticing, spicy masculine scent. If she were smart she wouldn't give him access. She had never claimed to be clever when it came to hot, handsome men. She'd made a couple of mistakes in the past, and she had the sick feeling Byrne could be her biggest mistake of all. The concert tonight had been one of his best on the tour. His glorious voice, stage presence, and performance were off the charts. Everything clicked. She basked in the love and adulation of the Montreal fans. Hell, if she had a lighter on her, she would have held it up as well. The man truly had a talent. Another knock brought her back to the present. Fuck it. Why fight it? She opened the door.

Byrne had showered, and his hair was still slightly damp. His white shirt hung open, teasing her with a glimpse of rugged, muscular chest. He wore skintight brown leather pants and held an ice bucket with cans of Pepsi and two glasses.

He smiled. "Thought we'd celebrate. It was a bloody great concert, wouldn't you say?"

Carly stepped aside and bade him enter, then closed the door behind him. "Yes, it was fantastic. Too bad the tour is almost over. You're on a roll now."

Byrne set the ice bucket and glasses on the desk. "There is only Washington DC left. I've been on the road for more than year. I don't know if I'll be able to take it easy."

Carly reached for a can, pulled the tab off, and poured it in both glasses. She handed one to him. Their fingers brushed by each other, and the electric current tore through her body from the touch. She bit her lip and clinked glasses with him. "Cheers. You deserve a rest. Relax, write some music, and continue to recover from your… ah…"

Byrne cocked his eyebrow. "Addictions? My arse-hole behavior? My selfish indulgences?"

She couldn't help but smile. "Yes, all of it."

Byrne raised his glass to her and took a drink. "You've been a support, Carly. Couldn't have got through the last two weeks without you."

She swallowed a mouthful of soda, and then set the glass on the desk. "I did nothing. You have the will to steer your own destiny, and you did."

Byrne set his glass next to hers. "I'm not much of a believer in destiny, but I'll steer it tonight. I want you, Carly, on the desk, against the wall, on your knees, and on top of me. If we can manage to do it all I'd be as happy as a pig in muck."

"Byrne…"

He held two fingers to her lips. "Love, don't think about it too hard. Let's enjoy the night and take pleasure in each other."

She couldn't argue with him on those points. She wasn't in the mood for deep conversation, not tonight. There was so much she didn't know about him. One thing she did know: He was a skilled and accomplished lover. No doubt all the practice he had. He moved his fingers away.

"Aren't you tired? I mean, the show you put on…"

"Aye, I'm a bit knackered, but the adrenaline from the concert is still pumping, and the shower only revived me more. After we make love, I want to stay with you, darlin', sleep, breakfast, the whole damned thing."

She had no willpower where he was concerned. Brogan Byrne was sweet, sexy man candy, and she wanted to indulge and gorge herself, at least for tonight. Could she walk away from him in the morning? Keep her distance? Truthfully, she didn't want to be involved with a man hanging on the precipice of sobriety. She had witnessed enough of that growing up with her own father's struggles to stay sober. Her dad wasn't a mean drunk, nor was he abusive physically or verbally. He would just withdraw. The coldness became a part of life and a part of her. She didn't want Byrne clawing past her frosty defenses. The more she let him near, the more he chipped away. He wasn't perfect, but then she always thought perfection was overrated. Regardless, after tonight she'd have to protect her heart.

"The 'whole damned thing' is only for tonight, Byrne. In the morning, we part." A pained look crossed his handsome face, but it was so brief she thought she imagined it.

"Fair play. Tonight only. But I reserve the option to revisit this later."

"Much later, if at all."

He boldly cupped her breast, kneaded it, and pinched her pebbled nipple. "A challenge. Know this, Carly: What we shared yesterday is rare, and before you say it, it's not some muck-shite lie I shovel out to all women. I mean what I say."

Byrne captured her mouth in another devastating kiss. She melted immediately. Some resistance she had. She shamelessly threw her arms around his neck and ground her body into his obvious hardness.

"Take me to your bed. Have your way with me," Byrne whispered between kisses.

No way could she pass the invitation up. Taking his hand, led she him into her bedroom. The hotel suite was plush and the bed king-size, with a burgundy silk duvet and matching pillows and cushions. Carly couldn't wait to get Brogan Byrne stripped and under her. He stood stock still and watched her every move while she pushed his open shirt off his broad shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She then unzipped his leather pants and pulled them down. No underwear. Why was she not surprised? He didn't wear them yesterday either. He opened his clenched fist and dropped three packages of condoms in her hand.

"I have more, whatever we need."

"On the bed and on your back, Byrne."

He clutched her wrist. "In bed you will call me 'Brogan.' I will make sure you scream my name to the skies. You follow?"

Oh, masterful. She kind of liked it. "As you wish, Brogan."

He closed his eyes briefly and moaned. He then opened his eyes and fixed hers in a searing, desirous gaze. "Love, I've been called worse 'B' names, but hearing 'Brogan' from your succulent lips is heaven to my ears."

He let go of her wrist, stepped out of his leather pants, and lay upon her bed. His magnificent cock was erect and lying full and thick up past his navel. His eyes smoldered and locked her in a sexy, molten gaze.

"Get on your horse and ride." He slapped his thigh in invitation.

While she practically tore off her clothes, Byrne rolled on a condom and Carly wasted no time climbing onto the bed and raising herself above him. Grasping his cock, she lowered inch by agonizing inch. She was so damned wet and so eager that she took him all. The back and forth rocking motion sent sparks of intense heat through her entire body. Byrne grabbed her hips and thrust upward with decided purpose. She stared into his determined face. This couldn't be the same man she witnessed hit rock bottom merely two weeks ago. It was a remarkable recovery to be sure. It could turn on a dime, however, which made any relationship with him impossible. Enjoy tonight. Forget tomorrow.

Sweat rolled down her back. The intensity and the power of his thrusts caused purple and black color to swirl in her vision. She'd never experienced such passion before. She was in for one hell of an orgasm. Her head snapped back with such force she heard her neck crack. "Oh, Brogan. God, yes!"

Byrne pulled her down toward him and kissed her soundly. His tongue thrust matching the upward push of his cock. He pulled away as his animal growl and clenched teeth indicated his own intense release. Carly sat upright and watched the oblivious desire play out on his face while he bucked and writhed under her. Brogan Byrne was beautiful and magnificent in climax. His eyes stayed fixed on hers, and his forceful gaze seared her soul.

She cupped his cheek tenderly. "Brogan…"

"Have I told you how much I love the sound of my name on your luscious lips, darlin'? I have, I know, but say it again." His voice was raspy, husky, and sexy as hell. He was also out of breath.

"Brogan. Brogan," she whispered, stroking his smooth, freshly shaved cheek.

He smiled. "Off, love. Have to change the rubber."

"More?"

"Oh, aye, much, much more."

Carly lifted herself off Byrne. Wow, he was still hard. So the stamina part of the rumor was true. Byrne swung his legs around the side of the bed, stood, tore off the used condom, dropped it in the trash, and rolled on another. His head inclined toward the plush burgundy armchair. He sat down, and then crooked his finger, his smile teasing and sexy.

"Have a seat, love, right here. Facing me."

The chair was big enough she could easily fit her knees on either side of his slim, muscular hips. Carly moaned aloud at the feel of his cock filling and stretching her as she lowered onto his erection. His hands brushed the sweat-matted hair from her face. Byrne's fingers moved down and brushed past her swollen clit.

"So your hair is brown like mine. Never would have guessed."

"I'll dye mine back when you dye yours, rock star."

Byrne laughed. The sexy deepness of his voice caused her to gush once again. She seemed to be forever wet around this man. The smile left his face as he tenderly caressed her cheeks with the pads of his fingers. Some of them were callused from his guitar playing, and the rough feel caused sparks to roam through her body. His touch was electric, scorching, and blazing her skin in ways no other man's ever did.

"See me, feel me…"

Oh, God. It was a song from The Who. "See Me, Feel Me." He sang to her in such a poignant way tears clustered in the corner of her eyes. He repeated the opening lyric three times, each occasion with more feeling. He managed to sound even better than Roger Daltrey, at least to her. If it was in her power to heal him, she would. Carly got the distinct impression he needed healing. This was not hollow sex, and it scared her but also touched her in ways she didn't think she was capable of feeling. A couple of tears escaped her eyes and trailed down her cheeks.

"Oh, Brogan—" She kissed him with everything she had and with everything she was feeling.

Her unspoken response to his heartrending singing was, I see you, I feel you, and I touch you. If only I could heal you.

Carly moved her hips. Byrne's hands moved up to cup her breasts. He flicked and pinched her erect nipples. She moved faster, and her tongue explored every inch of his hot, sexy mouth. He lifted his hips to go deeper. It was too much of everything, physically and emotionally. She was building up to a burst-a-vein-in-your-head orgasm. Byrne broke away from her swollen, burning lips and clamped his mouth on her breast. That did it. She screamed.

He was right, the arrogant rock bastard. She did scream his name to the skies and more than once. She squealed in the chair facing him, against the wall, and the icing on the damned cake, on her hands and knees while he pounded his cock into her pussy. She wanted fast and furious, and Byrne gave it to her, everything she wanted and needed from him. He held nothing back. Her groans, cries, and shrieks could shatter glass. Her voice was raw and ragged like it had been pulled across a cheese grater. Hours later when she fell asleep in his warm embrace, she was sure she had died and gone to sexual heaven.

* * * *

The tour was at an end. A week had passed since the concert in Montreal. Luckily, Brogan Byrne was allowed back into the States even though his drug arrest hung over his head like the sword of Damocles. As for his drug charge, he had to appear in Toronto court in November. He would get a record and a fine. He was lucky; it could have been worse. The latest issue of Rock Reports all but painted him as the Caligula of the rock world. Overstated to say the least. Truthfully speaking he was embarrassed and perhaps ashamed. Lying low was really the only option.

Nigel Winwood, the British expat who owned Cascade Records, encouraged him to take a long rest. So much for a West Coast tour. The record and promotions companies agreed this was not the time for publicity. Nigel put the brakes on the plans and postponed it until the next year. Nigel also hinted about music for a new album. Cascade wanted it sooner rather than later.

He had not seen Carly since the concert in Washington DC the night after the Montreal show. He stood in his little-used office at Cascade and gazed out the window. It was late summer. A streetcar clanged loudly as it passed by the window. The sounds of city traffic intermingled and created an urban symphony. Brogan heard music in everything, even water dripping from a tap.

Instead of heading home to Dublin maybe he would spend the winter at his private beach house in Ocean City on Maryland's Atlantic coast. Brogan was ready for a little down time. Maybe he would write some music. He had to stay nearby for his court appearance in Canada at any rate.

He had to admit, he felt better than he had in several months. Staying sober was a struggle, but it lessened with each day. Still, how would he handle the next drama in his life? Would he turn back to sex and stimulants? Carly was right. He had to steer his own destiny. However, perhaps a little help of the therapy kind was in order. Everyone seemed to be seeing a psychiatrist, why not him? Now he just had to say his good-byes to Carly. Brogan could hear her in the outer office talking to his assistant.

* * * *

Brogan Byrne never ceased to stun her afresh every time she laid eyes on him. It had been almost a week since they had seen each other, but somehow it seemed longer. They had to part. Carly had thought of nothing else since Montreal. Oh, God, the night in her suite… it never left her thoughts. In fact, what they shared had such an impact on her heart and soul she needed more time to think and consider her next move, if there was one. She pasted a non-committal smile on her face.

"What are your plans?"

"Spend some time with my brothers. Write some music. Stay sober. Not necessarily in that order," Byrne said.

They stared at each other, not knowing what else to say. She would be keeping in contact with Byrne by phone, but it wouldn't be the same. The last month they had been in each other's pocket. She was surprised to find she would miss his cute, tight Irish ass.

Byrne laughed and backed her up against the wall. "Remember this? Maybe you want to put a vise grip on my balls again." His voice was light, teasing.

Carly laughed in return, but his nearness affected her anew. Her fingers lightly touched his arm. "You were a pig that night."

Byrne's voice softened. "Aye, I know. I'm sorry, Carly. I'm sorry for a lot of things. I couldn't have got through this without you. Thank you." He moved closer. "For everything."

It seemed like good-bye, a permanent one. She didn't like it. Her hand trailed up his arm and caressed the ridges of his wool sweater. The muscles clenched underneath her touch. God, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

"Carly, what are you thinking about? Are you thinking about our first kiss on the beach, or are you thinking you want to kiss me right now?"

Arrogant rock star bastard. He was right.

"Kiss me. Kiss me now." His voice sounded husky, the invitation too good to pass up.

She gazed up into his eyes. There were swirls of intense passion mixed in with the greenish-brown colors. They were clear, alert, and also swimming with desire. The heat, the need, and the fucking want. He pulled her closer, and her hand went to his shoulder to steady herself, for her knees shook. Byrne cupped her ass through the leather skirt and brought her in tight against him. He was hard. Very hard. He rolled his hips so she got the message. She did.

"Kiss me—"

Slowly she rose up on her toes, and her lips moved closer.

They kissed. Deeply, thoroughly, and it was as earth-shaking as their previous kisses. Except this one had a hint of sadness mixed in as they were parting. Carly tasted every inch of his mouth, caressed with her tongue, wrapped it around his and pulled him deeper. She didn't want it to end. The kiss went on and on. Her lips were swollen and red from his aggressive kisses. Byrne would push, demand, then back off, and the kiss would be tender and gentle, then demanding in its desire again. Talk about a damned roller coaster. Finally, she pulled away. Her lips skimmed his chin. Byrne stepped back. It was over.

"Well. Not bad. Better than a vise-grip to the bollocks."

Byrne wanted to pretend the kiss meant nothing. A part of her throbbed with hurt, but she smiled nonetheless, though she imagined the smile did not go all the way to her eyes.

"It was all right, as kisses go."

"You take care, Carly."

"Yeah, you too, Byrne. Stay out of trouble."

She watched him stride away. Carly wanted to call him back and throw herself in his arms, but she wouldn't. Her pride wouldn't let her. The time wasn't right for them, and she knew it deep in her heart. Maybe it would never be right, and that was what hurt most of all.

Chapter Eight

November, 1974

Carly headed toward Ocean City. The drive was a little over three hours from her apartment in Baltimore, so she left at the crack of dawn. She sat behind the wheel of her brand new 1975 Mustang II, a bonus from Nigel for her work with Brogan Byrne. The car rode like a dream and seemed easy on gas, a plus during this energy crisis. It was a cool, late fall day and slightly overcast. She had the heater turned on low as she headed to the coast. The radio played top forty rock softly in the background.

She was nervous as hell. Carly had talked to Byrne exactly twice since their kiss good-bye in the Cascade offices in September. Both conversations were polite and professional. He'd called three days ago to inform her he was back from his court appearance in Toronto. She had offered to go with him, but he had politely refused.

Byrne wouldn't have a record, and she was relieved. He was on probation and had to pay a small fine. The judge also issued a stern warning. Byrne said he would tell her more when she arrived. She had packed a small overnight bag, wishful thinking perhaps as he had given no invitation for her to stay. There were lots of hotels along the highway, and she didn't fancy a three-hour drive home in the dark.

"(I've Been) Searching so Long" by Chicago played on the radio. The ballad was perfect background music for her thoughts. She had been searching for an answer. Just what were her feelings toward Byrne? Carly had thought of little else since they parted. Maybe it meant more to her than it did him. He was a man, after all, and a rock star. She'd never had these feelings before, the need to be with someone always and to protect them and to care.

Fate could be cruel. The next song was Byrne 'N' Flame's rock ballad "I'm on Fire." She had purposely avoided Byrne's music since they parted. His crystal clear voice soared and cut her heart clean in two. She wiped the tears from her eyes. Damn him for making her feel.

"The time is now, how I need you, love…" A sob escaped her lips. She reached to snap the radio off, but she couldn't. His voice had her in a trance. How many women did he do this to? It certainly explained why he was famous, why women fell at his feet, and why she had walked away. She had to protect her heart. As soon as he called and asked her to come to his beach house, Carly found she couldn't say no. He had things to discuss. He wouldn't elaborate. Damn her curious nature, but she had to know.

She picked up the piece of paper she had scribbled directions to his house on. After a multitude of twists and turns she was on a private drive sitting before an imposing wrought iron gate. Carly turned off the motor, climbed out of the car and hit the buzzer on the intercom.

"Yes?"

Oh, there was no mistaking his sinful, melting chocolate voice. "It's Carly—Carly Montgomery." She cringed, like who else would it be unless Carly Simon came to call. Wouldn't be surprised.

"Come ahead."

The high-pitched buzzer nearly burst her eardrum, so she scrambled back into the car and started the motor as the gates rumbled open. She drove up the hill and gasped as the house came into view. The home wasn't overly large but was very impressive. The two-story building had a light gray brick exterior. Floor-to-ceiling windows surrounded most of the lower level. The structure had a sloping white roof, and overlooked the ocean. The grounds were immaculate. Obviously a landscaping crew tended to the property. She pulled in next to a dark green MGB and turned off her motor. Carly took a couple of deep breaths, and then slowly exhaled. Yeah, she was nervous. Maybe he'd called her here to dump her as his manager.

She shook her head, grabbed her purse, and climbed out of the car. The sounds of the ocean and the bracing salt air breeze slammed her senses as soon as she opened the car door. God, she loved the sea. She headed toward the double door entrance, her heels clicking on the marble walkway. Before she could even knock, one of the white wood doors swung open. Carly gasped aloud. She hardly recognized Byrne. The shoulder-length white and black hair was no more. He had it cut into a long shag that stopped at his collar. The hair was a glorious deep brunet, the color of freshly brewed coffee. He wore crisply pressed dark brown slacks with russet dress boots. A white shirt lay open halfway down his chest, while a beige wool cardigan sweater completed the neat, casual appearance. His signature Celtic cross dangled between his impressive pectorals. He had put on a few healthy pounds. Gone was the haunted, gaunt look he'd had on tour.

Look at him with the cardigan sweater and hair. He resembles a sexy professor. She couldn't help but smile.

"You look good, Byrne. More relaxed than I've ever seen you. This button-down college thing works for you."

"You think? It will do for now." Byrne grinned.

He appeared the furthest thing from a rock star. In fact she couldn't think of him as Byrne any longer. He was Brogan. Always Brogan. He made no move to embrace her. Instead he held out his arm to escort her. She took it. Her skin started to sizzle as it always did when she touched him, even through the damned wool.

Brogan led her into a large living room. The wall facing the ocean consisted of windows, and the scenery was breathtaking to observe. The furniture was sparse and the decoration minimal. It was obvious he didn't spend much time here. The room was tastefully furnished in a modern look with black leather sofa, chairs, and silver space-age lighting. A solitary framed gold record hung above the gray stone fireplace.

Carly sat on the plush leather sofa, and Brogan sat next to her. She clasped her hands as they started to shake, not like her at all.

"I've missed you."

His words were stark, affecting, and honest. How tempting to say the words right back but her cautious heart wouldn't allow it. Carly crossed a line. She had sworn she would never become personally involved with her clients. One touch, one kiss from the Irish rock god, and she had melted. She would ask Nigel to assign her elsewhere. She should have done it right after the tour. Hell, she should have done it the first time they kissed.

"You have? You even missed all the bossy nagging? I can scarcely believe it." She tried to keep her voice light and teasing, but it wasn't working.

"Maybe I need your bossy nagging. I like a lass with spunk."

"You really do look good, Brogan. Healthy, vigorous, and calm. Definitely at peace."

"Ah, so I am Brogan now? I like that. Not sure about the peace part, but I'm working on it. I've been in therapy these last months."

Really? What a surprise… but, it was the fashionable thing. "It's helped, then?"

Brogan gazed out the window toward the gray, overcast skies and tumultuous ocean. "Aye. I carry a shite load of guilt. I am learning to deal with it and forgive myself. I want to tell you, but I know I'll wind up sounding like some weak-arsed wanker."

His honest, deeply felt words cut clean to her soul. So much for remaining detached, professional, and for trying to guard her heart. With two fingers she touched under his chin and turned him back to face her.

"I want to know."

Brogan grasped her fingers and laid a warm kiss on them. He clasped her hand tightly as if she were a lifeline. "It's a long story. I was in Belfast in the summer of seventy…"

She listened. Carly was riveted and moved to tears.

"Tarrah died because of me. She stepped in front of me and took the brunt of the knife attack. Then she died in my arms. I loved her, and I couldn't protect her. I can't live with her sacrifice. I'm not worth her giving up her life for."

"So you let your life become worthless."

"Aye, I used the sex and stimulants as an excuse not to feel and to sink into a rubbish life. It is what I deserved. Pathetic, I know. The drug arrest was the final straw."

"Did Nevan go with you to Toronto?"

"Aye, and Reese and Abbie."

Abbie? The Malibu Barbie girlfriend? He was back with her? An ice pick slid into her heart. The pain was intense, and she struggled to hide the devastating ache.

"I see," she said coldly.

Brogan smiled. "No, darlin', I don't think you do see. Abbie and Reese are dating. It's very serious. She will be going back to Dublin with him in January. They've both forgiven me and Nevan as well. It's more than I deserve. Abbie and Reese are better suited."

The relief made her giddy. A couple of hoarse giggles escaped her lips. "Sorry," she whispered. "Brogan, why am I here?"

He reached for her other hand and held them both tight. "You understand why I needed this time to be alone, to regroup and to heal?"

She nodded. The warmth from his touch singed her skin, like a Zippo lighter with the flame turned on full tilt.

"I want you to also understand, there's been no women in my life since the tour. I've been living as a Benedictine monk. I've been abstaining from a variety of vices, and it's helped with my healing process. I wrote some music too. I have five songs completed. The lads were here last week, and we had a few jam sessions. I worked things out with them as well. Derek even has a song he wrote. It's all good, Carly. For the first time in four years my life is back on the rails, and I'm in control."

"I'm so glad, Brogan."

He let go of her hands and stood. "I want to play one particular song for you."

Brogan strode to the corner of the large living room. In a stand were three guitars, a Gibson Les Paul 55, an acoustic Yamaha FG 160, and a classic '60s Fender. She recognized quality rock equipment. Next to the stand was a desk covered with notepads and sheets of music. Brogan reached for the Yamaha, turned the desk chair to face her, sat down with his leg crossed, and then cradled the guitar in his lap.

Carly's heart sat in her throat. He was going to sing for her. If only Brogan knew what his voice did to her—perhaps he did know. From the opening strums of his guitar she was aware the song would be a ballad. His voice wrapped around her like a lover's caress.

As this day follows the night.

Know that you are my only light.

Let me start my life anew,

My sins are plenty, forgiveness few,

As seed becomes flower,

Your love gives me power

To break this heart of rock, this heart of stone,

All bitterness has flown.

Joy, peace within my reach,

I implore you, teach,

Break this heart of rock, this heart of stone

My love for you has grown

Because only you can break this heart of rock…

Carly could not stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks. The song, his words, and his damned glorious voice smashed down the last of her stubborn resistance and the last of her doubts. She was in love with Brogan Byrne.

* * * *

Brogan set the guitar back in the stand and walked toward Carly. She was crying.

She stuttered the word 'beautiful.' Carly covered her face with her hands. Her shoulders heaved as she continued to sob.

He sat next to her and pulled her into his embrace. Damn, he didn't want to upset the lass like this. "Don't cry, darlin'. I wrote the song for you. I love you with every feckin' part of my broken heart and soul. You heal me, Carly."

She cried harder, so he just held her close until the tears stopped. He had known in Montreal that he loved her, but he'd spoken the truth: He needed the time to piece his life together. He had to be sure of his emotions and also be sure he could stay sober. In the grand scheme of things, three months was nothing. He would struggle with sobriety the rest of his life. With Carly, he could face anything. With his trembling hand he lifted her chin. She had stopped crying and gazed at him with wide, shocked eyes.

"Do you think you could love this damaged man, be my partner in business, life, and in my heart? You are all the woman I want or need. It may not always be easy, but I promise you this, love: It won't be boring."

Carly laughed through her tears. "Good. I hate boring. Brogan, I love you too, so very much."

Brogan captured her lips in a solid, claiming kiss. Carly gave the intensity right back as she always did. She was his rock, his heart, and he would love her the rest of his days.

~The End~

About the Author

Living in a small town in a corner of Ontario, Canada, Karyn whiles away her spare time writing, reviewing, and reading romance. As long as she can avoid being hit by a runaway moose in her wilderness paradise, she assumes everything is golden. Originally from the east coast of Canada, Karyn loves to set some of her stories in the Maritime Provinces.

She's been happily married for a long time to her own hero. His encouragement keeps her moving forward.

Multi-published with multi pubs in multi-genres, her main thrust is erotic romance with sizzle.

Website:

http://www.karyngerrard.com/

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/KarynGerrardAuthor

https://www.facebook.com/karyn.gerrard

Twitter:

https://twitter.com/#!/KarynGerrard

Blog:

http://karynsromanorum.blogspot.ca/

Email:

karyngerrard@gmail.com

Also by Karyn Gerrard:

Available from Silver Publishing:

Christmas Memories

Heart of Rock

Available from Evernight Publishing:

BLACKTHORNE CLAN

Black Lust

Black Desire

TIMELESS

Timeless Heart

Timeless Love

Reviews for Christmas Memories say:

"…What a sweet and sexy Christmas story! I loved that we had both perspectives in this short story and how neatly tied up it was. … I had fun getting to know the characters and feeling that romance starting to grow through their eyes with some sad and melancholic moments included. I adored it, a nice read for the holiday!"

~ Reading Romances, 4 out of 5 Hearts

* * *

"… 'Christmas Memories' is one of those stories that in no time will be bringing to mind your own Christmas memories, and with that some tears at them and at the story itself. … I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly recommend you read it this holiday season. It will have you thinking of your own Christmases past and hoping for good Christmas to come. "

~ Bookworm2bookworm, 5 out of 5 Stars

* * *

"Absolutely Magical! … I literally hugged my e-reader and said out loud "AWE!" The characters back grounds were explained just enough to give you an idea of where they were from and how their emotions and feelings were directed from. The erotic love scene is very loving and hot as the characters emotions bloom into love. When true love finds their perfect mate, it is amazing how one's heart falls fast instantly and grows three sizes right there and then as love sweeps it away just like the Grinch's heart did. Awesome Read!"

~ Ronda Queentutt's World of Escapism, 5 out of 5 stars

* * *

"…This novella had me at hello and managed to have me near tears at one point. For a short story, the characters were well developed and I felt an immediate connection with them. The small things, references to holiday traditions and memories, added an extra dimension to the story and had me reminiscing about my own Christmases past. The love scene was not only hot but also well done and sweet. The author has an amazing ability to tell a story, to weave magic into it, and sweep you away. She has a way with words that is touching, engaging, romantic and at times even humorous. I highly recommend Christmas Memories."

~ She Dreams, 5 out of 5 stars

* * *

"I found this short holiday read to be sweet and hot all rolled into one. … I loved the ending of this story and felt the author did a wonderful job with her storyline. Great job, Ms. Gerrard!"

~ Night Owl Reviews, 4 out of 5 Stars

Content

Gerrard Karyn Heart of Rock

Heart of Rock by Karyn Gerrard

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

About the Author