Scars of the Earth

by

C.S. Moore

prologue

A smile danced across Amanda’s innocent round face as she bounded, her dark brown hair blowing in the breeze. She was playing hopscotch and singing a childish tune while both sweet and stern-faced nuns pecked around the play yard like the hens that they were.

“Hop,” Amanda sang, putting too much emphasis on the letter P. She brought her boney elbows in and bounced off one foot.

“Eee,” she said, swaying a little as she landed on two feet.

“Scotch,” she said, bouncing off with all her might. Where she landed wasn’t on the playground at all, and no one noticed her leave. Instead of the number nine square she was aiming for, Amanda found herself falling through suffocating darkness.

* * *

With a shrill chirp, the dreaded bell that ended recess sounded, and all came to their seats, save one. Sister Wesley was the first to notice her absence. Amanda wasn’t one of the children who was usually late. After ten minutes had passed, she stood from her desk and crossed the small classroom to the cool single paned windows. The playground was deserted, not one child had lingered behind to enjoy its merriment. The chains of the swings rattled a bit in the breeze, but Amanda wasn’t on any of them.

A chill took Sister Wesley as she realized that one of her students was gone. The hallway of the old building turned into a snowstorm of white and black robes. Teachers flew up and down the halls calling for a search party.

* * *

Two hours after beginning the search, Father Benton found the missing child in the woods just beyond the fence. When he came upon the girl, he immediately crossed himself and spoke a quick prayer.

The small child was crouched down in a good-sized hole that she had apparently dug with nothing more than her bloodstained hands. She looked more like an animal than a girl, covered in a mixture of sweat and dirt and shouting hysterically as she clawed at the ground.

He stood a moment, frozen in shocked horror before he rushed toward her. Father Benton lifted her up, gently pulling the tiny thing into his arms. She tried to fight him off, throwing her weight around and kicking her skinny legs.

“Amanda, calm down. Everything is okay. You’re safe. I will help you,” he promised.

She relaxed, but as he started to walk away with her still in his arms, she lashed out, slapping his face hard enough to sting. In his momentary surprise, she wriggled out of his grasp and ran back to the hole she’d been digging.

“No, I can’t leave him. Not there, not there,” she screamed. He cried out as one of her little finger nails ripped away from its home and lodged itself into the dirt that she was trying desperately to move. She didn’t seem to notice his cry or the pain that she must have felt. I can’t imagine what has happened to her. She was always such an angel. He knelt beside her, moving slowly so he wouldn’t frighten the little girl.

“Amanda, what are you doing? Tell me how to help you,” he said.

She ignored him and persisted with the terrible scratching. He continued to talk to her, hoping something would snap her out of this mental fit. “Amanda? Did someone take you from the playground? Has someone hurt you?” he asked, fearing the worst.

“No.” She answered quickly but didn’t look up. However abrupt her answer, he was happy to hear her voice.

“Where have you been? Everybody’s been looking for you, all of the sisters and your friends,” he said.

She stopped digging for a moment, breathing hard. Her face turned up toward him, but she said nothing. She seemed to be trying to decide how best to answer the question she was being asked.

“I don’t know where I was. I was here, and then I was there. But I don’t know where there was,” she said.

He looked down at her in confusion, but she seemed to be satisfied with her given answer. She looked up at him, her sad blue eyes pleading.

“Please, Father, please. He is hurting so bad, and I’m the one who’s supposed to help him. I knew it the minute I saw him. I filled up with sunshine, and I just felt him ask for my help,” she said.

Father Benton didn’t know how to console the poor child.

He just kept her talking so that she wouldn’t be digging. “Who, Amanda?” he asked.

She looked to the old priest like she would have cried had she not used up all of her tears already. “A boy, Justin was his name. He is stuck, and I could have helped him. But I got scared and woke up here and left him,” she whispered.

She started screaming and clawing at the ground again. He jumped into the hole and held her firmly in his arms, making sure she was snug and couldn’t hurt herself. She screamed at the top of her lungs, trying desperately to free her arms, but he was stronger.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Justin!” she cried.

He rocked her gently while humming a church hymn on their way back to the towering Gothic structure that was the lonely child’s home.

eleven years later...

1

Amanda sat staring at the age-darkened table, feeling on edge. It didn’t matter that she should feel comfortable after two years back. She didn’t. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, the feeling of being watched was unbearable. You’d think people could understand why a thirteen-year-old felt the need to run away from a place like this, but of course, none of them did.

I wish they’d stop staring at me. It must get tiring to glare at someone for two straight years.

“Don’t look so tortured, Amanda,” Cole joked as he set a bowl down in front of her.

She looked up at him, the unease draining as he sat next to her. He had laughter dancing in his brown eyes. It was so easy to forget her unwanted audience when he was with her.

“Am I expected to be anything but in the presence of such terrible company?” she asked him with a smile.

“Terrible company?” he said, feigning hurt. “You know I could get offended by that if I wanted to.”

“You’re always excluded from my rants, you know that.”

“I know I just like hearing you say it,” he said around a mouthful.

He’d already started digging into his soup, and it did smell uncharacteristically good today, so she followed suit. Her spoon fished around in the creamy stew until she found a chunk of potato. It was still steaming as she brought it to her lips, but the metal spoon fell to the ground with a loud clatter. As the familiar choking darkness formed around her, she was amazed by the freak show that was her life, knowing none of her many observers were surprised a teenage girl had just disappeared.

It’s never been this strong. Amanda thought as she fell through space, and the growing feeling of dread ripped at her chest. This wasn’t how a Scar should feel. She wasn’t in danger.

This was a memory. Whatever danger she witnessed had already happened. She repeated the mantra over and over that she’d been taught, but still the fear pricked at her heart. Like a well-worn textbook, she flipped through the pages of her mind. Had she learned anything at all about how to stop the leap?

Of course, it’s not in the curriculum. I’m probably the only Healer in the history of the world to ever think about stopping mid-leap. Even though she wasn’t yet on the other side, she knew, somehow, that she wasn’t strong enough to deal with this Scar. Whatever trauma this poor soul had gone through was too much for her to bear. How was she supposed to set them free if she was hyperventilating before she’d even seen anything? As much as she hated the feeling of blindness that came before she entered a Scar, she knew that the blackness was preferable to what you see when the memory unfolds before you.

Why did Madgie have such confidence in her? She’d failed every single test. She shouldn’t be allowed to heal. Of course, if the world wasn’t so messed up, she wouldn’t be healing at all.

She could feel the horrible scene materializing around her.

Her body began to crumble; the weight of this memory too much for one set of novice shoulders. The fear, the hate, the burning evil desire.

I’m not a Healer. I’m not strong enough; I never have been.

Her vision began to blur around the edges. Just when she was about to succumb to the darkness, she found herself standing in a dimly lit hallway. The first thing she noticed was the awful stench. Hot, wet, rot. Amanda quickly covered her face to breathe through her sleeve.

Tiptoeing down the sticky hallway, she started to memorize her surroundings. The webbing cracks in the plaster, the dark mold that clung to the walls, stretching upward from behind decaying baseboards.

Who lives here?

Amanda was used to landing in front of the spirit in need of help, not an empty hallway. She held her breath as she began her silent search, hoping that would keep the smell at bay. It did little. Even without breathing, the stench seemed to creep inside her every pore, contaminating her blood. All of the curriculum she’d had drilled into her brain wouldn’t help her here. This wasn’t a normal Scar. She realized who lived here was the wrong question, what lived here would be a better one. The unbearable fear and the living stink could only mean one thing.

A demon is here, a strong one. Her legs froze in place as she realized the enormity of the situation.

A leach-demon was there, living off this Scar, sucking the fear and life out of this trapped soul. Though it was an extremely rare occurrence, she’d been taught what to do if you sensed a demon in a Scar — leave. She couldn’t, not while knowing the demon would stay here, feasting on this spirit’s nightmares, until either someone made it leave or the spirit faded into nonexistence.

A loud crash rang out in the unseen room to her right. She leapt back and quickly clasped a sweaty palm over her shrieking mouth. Nothing can hurt you, calm down! she chastised herself.

Turning toward the noise, she cloaked herself with a quick spell. Closing her eyes tightly, she pressed her body into the nearest wall, attempting to be one with it. Her heart and mind still rattled with fear, so it took longer than it should have, but she managed to slip through. Calm down, I’m a Healer. I repair the world. I free spirits. I… pass out on a regular basis. I need a new mantra. The old ones aren’t helping at all.

Surfacing on the other side of the wall, she put on the usual cloak, but both people in the room were looking right at her. She guessed the scream hadn’t helped her in the subtlety department.

One of the two people was an overweight man in his forties. It was difficult to pinpoint an exact age due to the dark rings of drug use apparent beneath his black eyes. They both shook their heads and looked away from her. He stood at the end of the bed with one leg in a pair of worn-out sweat pants. He stumbled clumsily as he attempted to get its twin into the other hole.

Amanda looked away quickly, tears stinging her eyes. She’d witnessed scenes like this before and didn’t need to take in all of the terrible details. The man managed to get his pants back on and started across the room.

“I don’t want to hear a word, not a word,” the man said. He didn’t need to add an ‘or else’, not anymore.

If he were more than a mere memory, I would kill him slowly. Tear off all his favorite parts and then leave him for the rats. Amanda uncloaked herself and made her way to the bed and the little girl lying upon it, bruised and silently crying.

She couldn’t be more than seven, Amanda thought studying the child. The little girl was dirty and covered in rags. Her face was buried in an old pillow, making her light brown curls, which had tangled themselves into a messy halo around her head, the only thing Amanda could see.

“What’s your name?” she asked softly.

The girl kept her face in the safety of the pillow and shook her frail head back and forth.

“Don’t worry, he can’t hear me,” she reassured.

The girl’s delicate shoulders straightened, and Amanda had to strain her ears to listen to the tiny voice, which sounded like it hadn’t been used for a long time.

“Why can’t he hear you?” she asked. Before Amanda could answer the girl’s blank face turned up in recognition. “Wait! Are you my guardian angel?”

Amanda was taken by surprise. Usually the souls trapped in Scars had gone through so much they no longer believed in anything, let alone angels.

“In a way, I am. How did you know?” Amanda asked.

The girl’s trembling hands lowered to her lap and took the filthy pillow along with them. She looked up and squinted as though the light hurt her haunting light blue eyes. They were unfocused and although the child was face to face with her, she seemed to be gazing off into an unseen world.

Her eyes are too light. She’s blind.

“You walked through the wall. I heard you on the other side of it then you were right there,” she said, pointing a tiny finger at the exact spot Amanda had entered. “And there’s no opening, so you must be magic.” Anticipation blossomed across her face as she continued. “I’ve heard about magic. It can save you from bad people or sometimes grant wishes. I’ve tried to use it before, on my door, to keep out people who want to hurt me. Mine never worked, but yours does. So you must be an angel,” the child concluded.

Amanda thought of the little blind girl standing in the doorway, waving her thin arms and chanting an incantation, a spell of protection. She wished the spells had worked, but she knew better.

I wouldn’t be here if her spells had protected her from evil.

This young girl had been hurt so badly her soul had been torn away from its rightful place inside her body. She was trapped in her past, trapped by the man who had corrupted her soul, and maybe she’d died here. Perhaps he’d murdered her in the end. But she wasn’t here in this Scar because of her death. She was here because of her life.

Flipping back to her first lesson at the Hovel, she recanted, “Scars are left when a spirit cannot move on from a singular event.”

This curly haired girl may have lived to seventy or she could still be alive today, just a shell of a human being walking and talking. But her spirit had never left this moment, this room, this place.

Amanda pushed away the painful thoughts before they overcame her. “Well, I wouldn’t call myself an angel, but I do know magic and I am here to help you.” She gently placed her hand on the girl’s shoulder, making the child flinch away reflexively. “Your name, do you remember your name?” she asked.

“Kaedin, my name is Kaedin,” she whispered.

“Wow, that’s a beautiful name. Did you know that your name means spirit?”

Kaedin shook her head.

“Must mean you have a lot in you. My name is Amanda.” She held out her hand in a greeting before dropping it quickly, the girl couldn’t see it and therefore couldn’t shake it. Amanda looked around the room. It was easier to counsel when you knew the year. She couldn’t tell much by the furniture or the rags thrown on Kaedin but noticed a paper lying on the table. It was dated ten years ago. Kaedin would be about her age, if she was still alive.

Taking a deep breath, she cleared her mind and went through her usual checklist, although she knew this would be anything but routine. Counseling was sure to be different with the leach demon clinging to the Scar so strongly, but she couldn’t guess how as all she was taught about her current situation was to not be in it. Amanda didn’t know if it could hurt them, but then she thought of what would happen to this sweet spirit if she did nothing. That’s what Kaedin would be, nothing. The demon couldn’t possibly do more harm than that. So she decided to follow normal procedure.

“So, Kaedin, tell me how to help you.”

The child’s face once, devoid of color, brightened a little.

“Can you really save me? Are you even real, or did I make you up? No one never ever helped me.” Tears pooled up and began to fall freely from her sightless eyes. “No one ever helped me, because no one ever loved me.” Her little hands brought the pillow back up to her face to absorb the salty tears.

Amanda choked back tears of her own, wanting to be strong for the weakening spirit. “I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. You should never think that. You are pretty easy to love, you know,” Amanda said soothingly as she gently took the pillow away and lifted up the broken girl’s chin.

“Look, Kaedin, I can do anything you ask me to do,” she said. Amanda held out her hand and closed her eyes, calling on light. When she opened them, a bright ball of light danced in her hand, bursting with color and bringing life to the dingy room. Lightning and rainbows, bright and flickering, every form of light now warmed her hand. She gently placed the ball into the girl’s small palm, letting her soak up its unique warmth. “I’ll be here with you. No one can hurt you as long as I’m here,” she assured her.

“If I fight, he hurts me. He’ll hurt you too. I’m scared, Amanda. You should leave before you can’t. Once he took me I never could leave,” Kaedin said, letting the ball of light fade.

Abducted? Too many times scenes like these weren’t abductions, but the child’s own family.

“He took you?” she asked.

Kaedin nodded, then wiped her eyes.

“Well, you weren’t his to take, let’s go tell him so.” Her small hands covered her face, and she shook her head furiously.

“You’re special and pretty and strong. Let me hear you say that,” Amanda said.

Kaedin obediently uncovered her tear streaked face. “I’m special and pretty and I am strong,” she repeated doubtfully.

“People love me,” Amanda prompted.

When Kaedin didn’t repeat the words, Amanda looked over at her and cleared her throat. This made the child attempt a smile, though her face didn’t seem used to the action.

“People love me,” Kaedin repeated.

Amanda reached over and squeezed her small hand. “I love you,” Amanda said with meaning.

“I love you,” Kaedin quickly said, making Amanda smile. “No, you don’t have to repeat anymore,” she said.

“I wasn’t repeating. I just love you. Ever since you walked through that wall, I’ve felt safe. Like maybe, he can’t hurt me anymore. I never felt that way before,” the child said, looking up to her, though she couldn’t see.

“Are you okay to stand up?” Amanda asked.

Kaedin jutted out her chin as if it were a rude question. “Of course I can stand up.” She squirmed off the bed quickly and stood next to Amanda. “Now what?”

“You tell me. You’re the boss here. What is it you want to do?” Amanda asked.

Kaedin thought for a moment. “Well I always wanted to scream just as loud as I could and not stop until I’m just too tired to keep on screaming,” Kaedin said in a rush.

“Okay let’s do it together,” Amanda said, drawing in a breath.

“No! No, no. Frank will hear and he’ll come get us,” the spirit said frightfully.

Amanda closed her eyes and searched the Scar. She could feel Frank. He was strong, because Kaedin’s memories of him were so powerful, but she was more resilient than the mirage. He wouldn’t be able to overpower her. She was so much tougher now, compared to when her first Scar had taken her. Of course, she had been barely more than a baby then.

Amanda concentrated harder and could feel the physical presence of the Demon hiding in shadows throughout the house. She opened her eyes and noticed her silence had frightened Kaedin.

“It’s all right, I’m stronger than Frank. Remember, I have magic,” Amanda said.

“You’ll stop him from hurting me, right?” Kaedin asked grabbing hold of her hand.

“Right, Frank isn’t stronger than the love I have for you,” Amanda told her.

Amanda knew Kaedin could feel her love, something the small child hadn’t experienced in some time. So, she took in a deep gulp of air and started screaming at the top of her lungs, holding nothing back.

Immediately, Frank was at the other side of the door. “You stop that. Stop it, or I’ll get the bat again!” he shouted.

He was fierce, but she kept him out of the room easily enough. The tormented spirit paused for a moment at his threat, and Amanda squeezed her hand in encouragement. Kaedin smiled at her and started shouting words that she had given her.

“I am special, I am strong!” she screamed.

Amanda could already see the change. She also sensed the leach demon growing angry. He wasn’t quite ready to leave. Amanda took comfort in the fact that Kaedin didn’t require much. She was such a resilient spirit all she needed was to have someone who wanted to help her. Someone who believed her, and now she had it. Frank beat at the door with more ferocity, and Amanda squirmed. It was getting harder and harder for her to hold him back.

“People love me!” Kaedin cried.

With every shout, Amanda could feel the little spirit healing. Soon she would be free. Amanda sensed the dark energy pulling before she saw it and drew up her strength. She’d need it. “Find someone else to feed off of, scumbag,” Amanda said.

At her words, all of the shadows left their hiding places.

Dark grey wisps crept out of corners, and seeped up out of the floorboards. Even Amanda and Kaedin’s own silhouettes abandoned them, turning to tar and bonding into a mass of darkness. The small room was unnaturally bright. All of the shading was gone from their natural spaces and standing in a heaving blob before them. At that moment, Amanda was glad for Kaedin’s blindness.

“I wasn’t yours to take!” she shouted.

The blackness moved in a rush, squeezing under the shabby door and into Frank. The demon had found a place to gather strength. Still holding Kaedin’s hand, Amanda dropped to her knees, unable to remain standing. She searched inside herself, looking for more power. She shut off everything in her body that was expending energy and focused it on to the door. Everything she had in her small frame held the beast back. If Kaedin felt frightened, it would be nearly impossible to free her.

It beat at the door with more fervor than Frank had. Amanda’s confidence shattered as she realized it was stronger than her. A sound ripped out like the call of thunder as the door disintegrated into a shower of splinters. Kaedin began screaming, not in power, but in fear. Amanda lay beside her, blind and deaf to the scene around them. Frank’s body, bulging and discolored by the demon within, began its disjointed journey across the room.

“Amanda, wake up! Amanda, please, use your magic,” Kaedin pleaded.

The power of the demon was too great for her, and it took all she had just to keep conscious. Amanda could feel the darkness pressing down on her, urging her to return to where she belonged. The temptation was usually too much for her. The sweet promises of her frightened subconscious made it so easy to give up, without even realizing she had.

No, not this time! Kaedin can’t possibly wait any longer. Who knows when this Scar will find another Healer? The demon has so much of her life already.

The creature was upon them, wearing an inhuman smile that stretch Frank’s face into a grizzly mask of terror. He opened his mouth wide, and Frank’s skin, stretched too tightly, split open. Tissue dangling, the monster began raining torrents of blood onto the floor. Amanda could feel the delight the creature took in the gruesome scene. It stepped closer to them, becoming larger and more grotesque. Yet, Kaedin remained kneeling by Amanda’s side. She could sense the spirit’s fear and heard Kaedin’s whispered prayer. Amanda’s heart swelled with love as she found both the fear and the prayer were for her. The demon paused in its approach, sensing the change in Amanda. She took advantage of the demon’s hesitance and sprang to her feet, throwing Kaedin behind her.

“Don’t be afraid, it can’t hurt you. You are strong!”

Kaedin took a step forward, brow knitting together in determination. “I am strong!” she shouted.

Amanda felt that strength and threw up a protective shield between them and the demon. The dark creature attempted to move forward but was unable to get a step closer. It pushed against the invisible obstacle several times but couldn’t weaken the blockade. Frank wilted to the floor, the dark mass leaving him.

It knows that it has lost. She’s free. Amanda turned to look at Kaedin.

She’d never seen a spirit so bright. Kaedin smiled at her like it was natural for her to smile as she had before she’d been taken.

“You can’t hurt me anymore!” Kaedin screamed out.

The room felt light, warm, and the air tasted sweet. Amanda noticed the nightstand begin to shine, and the shimmer spread across the room. She looked up at Kaedin and smiled, knowing this was the time to say goodbye. Amanda was glad they’d met. She was forming the words when Kaedin’s face dropped back into a veil of terror.

Amanda spun around, but she was too late. The dark mass of shadows was upon her, mouth thrashing. Its jagged teeth sunk into her side, and she was immediately searing in pain. The demon’s poison rushed through her veins and set them on fire. It shook its head furiously, sending black tar splattering across the floorboards. It flung its head powerfully before releasing her. She flew through the air and slammed against the far wall. Amanda bounced off the plaster and landed on her face, unable to catch herself.

She tried to move her arms, but they wouldn’t obey.

Through her tears, she could see Kaedin on the floor, eyes closed and rocking herself.

“Kaedin, you can do this without me. Be strong, be brave, move on.” Her heart sank when she realized she wasn’t talking. She couldn’t speak either. Darkness was taking her. The scene began to dissolve around the edges until the only thing left was Kaedin’s tear-soaked face, and then that too was gone. Amanda knew she was dying, but her heart’s last prayer was for Kaedin.

Someone free her. Don’t let her fade.

2

“I don’t know! I’ve never seen anything like this before,” a willowy teen girl with long golden hair cried out.

“They’re rare, and you’re young. Myself being the opposite, I’ve seen these marks before. I know how she got them. I just don’t understand…” The thin older women with cropped graying hair paused.

“What?” Nell asked.

“I’ve seen them, but they’ve always been on dead bodies. I’ve never seen a living person bear them.”

Was she still alive? No, she couldn’t be. She found the mere idea ridiculous, having already come to terms with her death and her eternal sentence. Amanda could still feel the Hell fire burning her insides. Scorching all that had once been pink into a charcoal black.

This was right. This was fair. She should be in Hell after all of the spirits she’d failed. Why did she have to run away? If she’d just accepted who she was at the Dredging age, she would have been properly trained, instead of being a seventeen-year-old novice. She could have saved Kaedin.

She choked on emotion as her mind brought up a picture.

The last image she had witnessed as a living-breathing person was Kaedin holding herself tightly. Her sweet face turned upward wearing the most pained expression she’d ever seen. She didn’t think a person could convey such torment with one look, one expression. She kept tracing and retracing the lines of Kaedin’s small face, the creases in her forehead, the tears on her cheeks, and those haunting blue eyes. Her heart was broken, not because she was burning in Hell, but because she’d witnessed a spirit being broken today.

She couldn’t hold the demon off long now. she was easy prey, as is anyone with no hope.

“Amanda, come back to us. Don’t linger in the darkness a moment longer.”

Amanda could just make out muffled words reaching out to her. The voice sounded like it was at the far end of a tunnel.

“Amanda Sarah Cates!” The voice was becoming clearer.

“Wherever you are, get your skinny rear back here now! S-B my dear, don’t leave me.”

That really is Madgie!

Madgie had called her S-B since she was a kid. She thought it an odd nickname since S-B wasn’t even close to her initials. Six months after the nickname was established, she’d finally felt comfortable enough around her mentor to ask her about it.

“So tell me, why S-B?” Amanda asked.

Madgie threw a thin arm around her before replying. “It stands for sugar beet,” she said, smiling.

“Sugar beet, huh? I’m not sure that you’ve given me the right nickname,” Amanda said.

“Sure I have, sugar beets are something sweet that God decided to hide in a layer of dirt. And that’s you to a tee,” Madgie said.

Amanda snapped out of her reverie when she heard another voice. When this new voice spoke, it was nearly too soft to hear.

“Amanda?” Nell whispered.

Her eyes shot open, making Nell shriek.

“Oh, dear,” Madgie shouted, clutching her chest.

“I have to go back!” She was surprised to find her voice actually hanging in the air.

As she attempted to sit up, she realized her limbs where still of no use to her. “Has it moved yet, Madgie?”

Her mentor was speechless staring wide-eyed at her. Still as a statue, Madgie looked as if she were bracing for a rattlesnake to strike.

“Has the Scar moved yet?” Amanda shouted.

Madgie’s shoulders loosened two notches. She had always been dreadfully impatient, and Madgie seemed satisfied that she was in fact herself and not some creature set upon their destruction. “You watch your temper, Amanda Sarah. Nell is here,” she said shortly. Amanda’s eyes stretched wide in anger, which usually amused Madgie. “Yes, the Scar has moved. Are you all right, S-B? Is your head hurt, are you thinking clearly?” Madgie asked.

It had moved. She realized. Her blood felt like lead in her veins, weighing her down, and she didn’t know if she would ever get up.

Kaedin would fade. Her spirit would be dead before she ever found peace, she thought. Tears began to fall freely from her swollen eyes. Amanda gave herself over to the screams of pain that had been waiting to come forth, only stifled by her will to save Kaedin. Madgie’s thin eyebrows shot up. Amanda could just make out Madgie’s hushed words to Nell over her own cries.

“I’ve seen her fail other spirits. She’s always come out more broken but not weeping.”

“Really? What about when she was little?” Nell asked.

“I was there when Amanda first came to the Hovel in the Dredging. Almost all of the other children cried for their mothers, but not her. I’ve never seen her shed a single tear.”

“Not even when you told her…”

She choked on the end of her sentence, but Amanda knew what she was asking. Healers couldn’t have children because they were always being pulled into Scars, and only they can exist on that plane. So, a pregnant woman would lose her child unless it too was a Healer, which was a million to one shot. Of course, there were strict rules about men and women not having any type of relationship other than friendship to prevent constant miscarriages. Nell had mourned the loss of her future family harder than anyone. The poor thing’s only dream in life had been to be a mother, and she would have been a natural, but would never have a chance to be one.

“I had to explain it to her a little earlier than you. She and Cole were so tightly bonded at a such a young age. I didn’t want to see her get in trouble for being too close with him.” She paused and took a deep breath. “When I told her she couldn’t be married or hope to have a child, a life beyond her own, she didn’t speak with anyone for a week, but she didn’t cry.”

Amanda thought back to that conversation, and the agony she was feeling doubled at the memory of the heartbreak. Her sobs became so violent they shook her entire body.

“Go find out what is taking those nurses so long!” Madgie shouted.

Nell was out of the double doors before the request was complete.

Amanda forced back the screams and tears. Find her. Could she find her? She hadn’t ever heard of it being done, but that didn’t mean anything. There was so much she didn’t know about her own world. Sometimes she wondered if the Ancients were the only ones who knew everything about their existence. She just needed to get her head back on straight. This was difficult, considering the amount of pain she was in. She looked over at Madgie. Her face was unusually readable, anxiety plain on her face. Amanda cleared her throat, which felt raw.

“Healers for the Healer, don’t you think that’s a bit redundant?” She was trying to take away the line of worry

Madgie wore between her eyebrows, but her shot at humor had no effect.

Madgie spoke in a whisper, “There is no reason to be frightened. The Ancients have been called. They’ll know how to fix you up.” The tone of her voice made it clear Madgie wanted to believe the Ancients could solve any problem, but her words didn’t comfort Amanda.

“It’s just best to go through life never having to meet the Ancients.” That’s what Madgie had told Amanda the one time she’d questioned her about them. Now she was hoping they could help. I must look pretty awful… the screaming probably didn’t help, she thought, kicking herself for concerning her friend. She looked up and saw Madgie’s unfocused eyes and distant expression. The poison ripping through her made her thoughts jumbled and broken. It would be hard to question Madgie with any kind of success, but she had to try.

“Madgie since you haven’t drilled me with questions since I came to, I assume you know what happened to me in that Scar,” she said plainly.

Madgie snapped out of her far away thoughts and looked at her. “I know where these marks came from, but I don’t know exactly what happened to you in there.”

These marks? They’d said something about marks earlier.

She was still in a semi-frozen state, but she attempted to look down at her stiff body, which had been stripped completely naked. Her first instinct was to cover up, but her dead limbs where of no use. Unable to move even slightly, she could just make out her curves, but that was more than enough. The ominous marks were covering every inch of her once beautiful body. Her eyes strained to focus and make a clear picture, but without the ability to lift her head, it was impossible to see herself.

“Madgie, could you get me a mirror?” Amanda asked. Madgie knitted her thin eyebrows together.

She took her pause as a bad sign and spoke a bit louder. “Madgie, get me a mirror, please.”

Madgie left for a moment and came back with a petite wall mirror clutched in her hands. Madgie, who was never unsure about anything. Amanda wanted to know what she was dealing with. She cared little about looks but didn’t want her appearance to hinder her. It would be much harder to travel the world looking for Kaedin’s Scar if she didn’t look like a normal person. Madgie stepped tentatively forward, and after a few tries, she had the mirror angled so Amanda could see herself.

After she came to grips with the fact that her eyes looked like the devil’s own, she studied her body. Her entire left side was a dark bruise. Though it looked like none she’d ever seen. It was too black, and the colors within it swirled and danced like an oil slick on the surface of a puddle. The living contusion stretched across Amanda’s belly in thin waving fingers until it tucked back under her right side. The bruise made sense. She remembered the demon sinking its teeth into her skin and tossing its head back and forth like a crazed animal. She didn’t understand the rest of the marks covering her body, black marks running in every direction tracing every vein. It looked like her heart was circulating tar.

“Madgie? What are these?” Amanda asked, her voice full of panic.

“They are markings called Ronbi,” Madgie said.

Amanda searched through her education in a few short seconds. She had no definition for the word. “I don’t know what ‘Ronbi’ means, Madgie. Why don’t I know?”

“We don’t often discuss them. They are incredibly rare and a topic of great fear,” Madgie explained.

“What are they?” she pressed. Madgie looked down at the mirror, now lying in her lap.

“They are evil marks. It’s what we see when a demon has corrupted a soul…” She paused and tucked a bit of graying hair behind her ear. “And taken it to where we cannot tread.”

“What, like I’m something evil and unclean now? Do you think that, Madgie?” she asked.

From the way the woman averted her eyes, she already knew the answer, though Madgie didn’t give it.

“No, no. I don’t believe that, and I can’t tell you what I do believe. I haven’t a clue as to what’s going on. If a Healer has been corrupted, it isn’t something they can live through. The demon’s essence poisons their very blood, taking all that is human and all that is spirit, consuming them like a ravenous dog,” Madgie said.

The hard glint in her eye made it clear Madgie was trying to convince not only Amanda that she was whole, but herself too.

I may not be gone, but I’m corrupted. I can feel it. Closing her eyes, she searched her body, mind, and spirit. She could sense the internal struggle and feel the heaviness of the demon’s essence. It thrashed in her veins and spread a dark, unearthly smell into her skin. No, she wasn’t clean, but her spirit was fighting and it was strong. She’d be fine. But why? Why was she alive?

Amanda stopped thinking and voiced her question. “So why am I alive?”

“I don’t know. You must have just slipped out in time. I don’t understand how you’re still breathing. Just look at you. You should be dead, Amanda, and you aren’t.” Fear and confusion were apparent on her face.

“Listen, Madgie, I don’t care about what these stupid marks are or why I’m not dead. Just help me, please. I don’t know what that demon’s venom has done to me, but as you’ve noticed, I can’t move,” she said.

Madgie’s head turned swiftly away from her gaze and the aversion had nothing to do with her haunting red stare.

She spoke franticly, trying to get Madgie to understand the importance of haste. “I need to move, I have to find that Scar and free her, this little spirit. She was stronger than any soul I’ve ever encountered, but she won’t last long. After you figure out a way to get me up and moving again, you have to tell me how to find her.”

Madgie slowly turned her head back toward her and spoke slowly, making sure she understood every word. “The demon’s venom is still attacking your spirit, not your body.”

“That’s not true, Madgie. I can’t even tell you how much pain I’m in, and I can’t move a muscle,” she said.

Madgie shook her head slowly. “You’re in pain because your spirit is fighting the Hell fire within you, child. Your body is tainted, but working.”

“So why can’t I move?” Amanda asked.

Madgie opened her mouth to speak, but she seemed unable to answer. At least not to Amanda’s face. Fixing her gaze on something just outside of Amanda’s line of sight, she spoke. “You are unable because the Ancients have made it so.”

“The Ancients have made it so?’ What does that mean?” She strained her eyes to see what Madgie was gazing at, and in her peripheral vision, she could just make out the shape of a syringe. Her mind raced as she struggled against the manufactured concoction flowing through her veins. “They drugged me? How could you do this? I trusted you!” Amanda shouted at her.

Madgie’s kind face streamed with tears. “It was for your own good, Amanda. We didn’t know if you would be yourself when you came to or if what awoke would be a terrible creature of nightmares. We were scared to even use magic to keep you immobile for fear of what it might do to you or us. This is unheard of. I don’t even think the Ancients know what to do. Don’t worry. The drug will wear off by the time the Ancients are ready to hold council.”

Amanda tried to let her anger at them go. The venom in her seemed to bubble and grow in it. “What about the Scar? Is there a way to find it?”

“No, I can’t tell you how to find your Scar. I don’t know if it’s even possible. Seeking isn’t our way. Scars find us, not the other way around. This is how it’s always been done,” Madgie told her grimly.

Amanda’s last hope for Kaedin receded like the tides as she gave herself back over to the scorching pain that was now a part of her.

* * *

When Amanda surfaced, she scanned the small sterile room for daylight. Having no windows to peer though, she couldn’t tell how much time had elapsed. She sat up in a swift motion and immediately crashed back down, clutching her chest. This was going to take some getting used to.

Her muscles screamed in protest, but she forced herself into a sitting position. Amanda didn’t think it was even possible, but the pain was greater when she moved. Taking deep breaths, she moved her arms around, attempting to get used to the hurt. Bright stars filled her vision, washing out the world around her. So, she couldn’t see who walked through the double doors, but she could hear the hesitant footfall and sensed the person’s unease. Knowing both Madgie and the Ancients weren’t people who made a shy approach, she guessed it was Nell. She went to cover herself but found she was thankfully wearing a robe.

“Hello, Nell. Are you doing better today?” Amanda asked. Nell stepped back and glanced at the doors, looking to be contemplating a hasty retreat.

“Don’t be such a mouse, Nell. I won’t bite. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll even keep my creepy eyes closed, okay?” she said, shutting her eyes.

“Are you Amanda or something else?” Nell sounded unsure if she was supposed to ask that question or not.

If Nell was asking, it must be the topic of discussion outside of these walls. She turned to face her and took the pain that came with the motion. “Nell, you think a demon could take me down. I’m surprised at you. Haven’t I always been at the top of my class?” she asked, making Nell smile.

“Well, even if that were true, and it’s not, that isn’t saying much. You’re in some of my classes, and I’m three years younger than you.”

She was glad Nell felt more comfortable. It hurt to frighten her. Amanda had always been so protective of her. She thought her much too sweet and delicate. Nell should have been a normal girl with a normal life, instead of having to walk into nightmares. Nell was considerably better at closing Scars than she was, but every time one took the young girl, Amanda wished she could have gone in her place just the same. She knew every Scar held a terror that was too much for anyone to deal with. Let alone a fourteen-year-old girl. Even a mature one. Nell had always seemed to enjoy hanging around with the older crowd. Madgie told her Nell had had to take care of herself from an early age, before she was put in a home. Apparently, she’d a terrible childhood. However, Nell never talked about it, and she didn’t press her to.

“Can I open my eyes or will you run away again?” Amanda asked smiling, but still keeping her eyes closed.

“I didn’t run away! Madgie gave me an important task.”

Amanda chuckled and opened her eyes slowly. She could see fine, although she still had lights dancing in and out of view.

Nell went to speak but closed her mouth again. She smiled at her reassuringly.

“I assume you came here to tell me something, is that right?” she asked.

Nell’s unsure head bobbed up and down.

“Well, go on then. Spit it out.”

Her young friend looked back at the large unmoving doors and whispered, “The Ancients are here, Amanda. They’ve summoned you. I’m here to retrieve you, but I don’t know if you should go. They’re strange things, and I get the most terrible feeling around them.”

As Nell spoke, Amanda could feel concentrated fear dripping off her. She’d always been wary, like a small animal, but never afraid. As Amanda dissected Nell’s emotions, she burst into tears.

“Amanda, how can I help you? I don’t want you to die. No, it would be even worse than that! You’re on the verge of losing yourself, your light, your soul,” Nell cried out.

Amanda spoke slowly, not sure what to say to comfort her. “Listen, Nell, you shouldn’t be scared of the Ancients. They are the wisest of us all. It may seem as though they aren’t like you and me anymore, but that’s only because age and power affects people. There aren’t too many people out there with more age or power than the Ancients. Everything will work out fine,” Amanda said, hoping Nell would believe her statement, even though she didn’t.

She patted the girl lightly on her shoulder and nearly winced in pain but was able to stifle the sound. “Are you still hurt?” she asked.

Amanda got off the stiff hospital bed as delicately as possible and replied, “Let’s go. I can’t stay in the Hovel long. I have to go somewhere.”

Nell started through the doors, still looking at her anxiously. Amanda hobbled after her as dignified as possible, slowly staggering to an unsure fate. Nell led her toward the main meeting hall, but instead of entering the arena, she directed her to a large red door.

“This is where they asked me to take you,” Nell said, biting her lip again, a nervous habit.

“Stop biting that thing, girl. You’re going to need it for kissing someday,” Amanda teased.

Nell rolled her eyes, they both knew neither of their lips would ever be used for kissing.

She took a deep breath and reaching for the handle, but the moment she touched it, Nell tugged her back, pulling her into an embrace.

Shaking with emotion Nell spoke into her shoulder. “Please do whatever you can to keep yourself safe. I’ve never had a family, except you. Be nice to them and don’t lose your temper. I have the feeling they aren’t on your side,” Nell said.

Amanda wished she could reassure her, but she had the same creeping feeling. From what she heard about the Ancients, they were all about uniformity, and she was so out of uniform she didn’t even know what team she was on anymore.

“I love you, Nell, more than you know. Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. Everything will be fine. And I’ll try to behave myself,” she said.

Nell stomped her sneakered foot. “You do better than try. You promise me.”

“You already know I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I’ll see you after the meeting.” Amanda planted a kiss on top of her head.

Nell looked up at her with large pleading eyes. “Promise?” Amanda gave her one last hug and walked through the door. For a moment, she thought her pains had blinded her again. The room she had walked into was pitch black, but she quickly realized the darkness in the room was pre-determined. A hand shot out of the darkness, grasping her, and then another. Soon she found herself struggling against the strength of several hooded men, but she wasn’t much of an adversary. Every movement brought with it a torrent of pain. She opened her mouth to scream something out, anything, but she choked it back, remembering Nell was right outside the door. She looked down in time to see the glimmer of a long needle just as it pierced her skin.

3

Amanda found herself lying on a pedestal in the middle of the arena surrounded by shadowed faces that were both familiar and unknown. As she attempted to turn her head, she found herself paralyzed yet again.

Apparently, she needed to get used to immobility. She looked down at her body and was glad that public nudity wasn’t something else she needed to get used to. Amanda was wearing a floor length, shimmering white gown. The material was so delicate she could make out her black veins underneath. It was an extravagant gown and something she’d never would have chosen to wear.

She’d never seen the arena like this. As she tried to separate the people she knew from the strangers, she noticed a shimmering light. She wasn’t sure if the Ancients had been there the whole time or had just appeared in the arena, which was unnerving. She could feel most people before they even enter a room.

She concentrated on their location but only picked up a kind of hazy silence where the five Ancients stood. Either they’d mastered a way of shielding their emotions from being read, or they had none. She looked at them for the first time in her life, though it was hard for her to stare into the light that they gave off.

Now she could see what Nell meant when she referred to the Ancients as strange things. They didn’t even look like people. At the time, she’d thought it was a mere slip of the tongue, but now she understood. The nearest Ancient seemed female, though she didn’t know why she thought that. There wasn’t a thing feminine about the creature, and it outsized any person she’d ever seen by two or three. The arena was probably the only room that they fit into comfortably.

Their heads were misshapen and held a few strands of long white hair. They were neither slender nor plump, but there was something incredibly solid about them. Both their bodies and faces bore sharp haunting angles with no roundness to them at all. Their skin was the color of old parchment and had strange faded patterns scrawled into it. They looked so out of place here, like they didn’t belong in her world. It was almost as if two- dimensional characters tore themselves out of a frightening portrait and began walking around.

As they drew nearer, their light burned more brightly. She kept her eyes locked on them, despite the pain, as long as she could before having to look away.

The largest of the Ancients spoke in a deep unearthly voice. “Brothers and Sisters, do you see? She cannot even bear the sight of purity. Does it hurt, Demon, to gaze upon me?”

It took her a moment to realize he was referring to her. She felt the curses rising to her throat but reeled them back and spoke the way Healers were supposed to speak, reverently.

“I’m no Demon, I’m a Healer. Born to serve, I’ve been entrusted with the sacred duty of freeing trapped spirits. It’s what I’ve always been and what I am now,” she said, her voice steady, though she had to fight to keep it that way.

He paused a moment before speaking. “What you have always been? You never wanted to be a Healer, never felt thankful for this ‘sacred duty’.”

She went to speak, but he silenced her with a raise of his sharp hand. Even their hands were different from hers. Amanda took in his claw-like appendage with strange tattoo-like markings a few shades darker than his yellowed skin.

“Amanda, you may lie to yourself, but you cannot lie to me. You never wanted to be a Healer. Three years after the Dredging, you ran from us. You selfishly ran from your responsibility here. Then you came crawling back two years later. Why? Because you didn’t have the strength to stand on your own. You needed our strength, our energy, and our light because you had none,” he sneered at her.

She was burning with anger and couldn’t stop herself from shouting at him. “You don’t know me. I came back to this place because I wanted to learn how to help them. I wanted to be a better Healer. I just couldn’t handle failing them anymore. No, I didn’t come crawling back for your support, because it is not your strength and light that I call on. Unless you think yourselves Gods now?” she finished.

“Yes,” he answered. “Do you see my light and my power? Look around you. Look at my flock. If I’m not a God, what am I?”

It took her a moment to realize she was hearing his voice, not through her ears, but inside of her mind.

Oh, he wants to keep this a private conversation-too bad.

“You’re a monster!” she answered loudly. There were gasps all around the arena. The Healers seemed unable to believe what she’d just shouted at their beloved leaders. Some even began crying.

He smirked one last time at her before putting on a pained face and addressing the crowd. “I fear that she is beyond us, my friends,” he said, choking on faked emotion.

He turned and walked to the lone female Ancient and lightly touched her shoulder. She stepped forward as he fell back into her position. As she spoke, Amanda was surprised that it was still the first Ancient’s deep voice filling the air.

“What was the other thing you said, dear? Oh, yes, a Healer is what you are now. No, what you are now is ruined. I can smell the evil in your veins and don’t tell me you can’t feel it tearing the goodness from you. We all sense your pain.”

Amanda spoke steadily, remembering Nell’s advice, although she hadn’t done a very good job at following it. “I do feel the darkness in me, but I’m alive and so is my spirit. I am strong. My spirit will prevail. I’m not ruined. I’m fighting!”

“Spirit will prevail.” The Ancient turned to look at her.

“Do you really believe that, Amanda? Your spirit can barely manage the strength to heal a single Scar. You believe yourself strong enough to purge out this evil? Well, we do not.”

She turned and touched the smallest of the group who faced the audience and spoke to them in the same commanding voice. “We have reviewed the plight of this girl.” She waved his dagger-fingers toward her. “And we have found that death is in her best interest and the only way.”

Amanda’s heart jumped into her throat. Could they be serious? The hundreds of spectators began to make sounds of protest, apparently unconvinced.

The Ancients were unmoved by their discord.

The smallest Ancient began to speak again. “Brothers and Sisters, this is the best choice for her. If you dispute the truth of the statement, just look at her.” He turned to face her. “She’s in a beautiful dress of purity. Perhaps that’s why you don’t see what’s really before you, but it’s only an illusion. Look well, and you can see the poison underneath.”

The crowd was silenced by this as they studied her and saw the darkness of the living bruise swirling beneath the transparent fabric of her dress.

She realized why they’d put her in the gown and spoke up quickly. “The very same thing could be said about you. Your light is brighter than the sun, but so is an atomic bomb. All of you could be nothing more than a clever illusion, but I have faith you aren’t, and I have faith I’ll make it through this. My spirit is alive, and that’s no illusion,” Amanda said.

He glided quickly back to the group like a dog summoned back to its master. As he brushed the tallest softly on the cheek, his voice rang out in anger. He advanced toward her immobile frame. “How dare you compare our light to your darkness? Ours comes from above. We are conduits, and we harbor your powers. Without our strength, Healers wouldn’t be.” He turned back to the crowd and spoke with certainty. “If she loses the fight within, she won’t merely die. She’ll be no more. She’ll have joined the ranks of so many other lost souls, and we cannot let that happen. Will you stand idly by as her spirit fades, when there is a way to save her?”

“Save me? You’re going to murder me,” Amanda whispered but knew that the crowd of Healers had turned as mumbles of ‘save her’ reached her ears. She knew she was beyond the point of reasoning. She would die.

Kaedin didn’t have to fade. These were the strongest among them, and they could save her.

“I don’t need to be saved, but there is someone who does need saving. The Scar I came out of, will you find it? Please. The demon that did this to me is so strong, and there is this little spirit who needs to be—”

“We don’t seek Scars. They open to us when the spirits inside them are ready. It’s the way it’s always been, and it is the only way,” the Ancient said.

“There never is just one way, and she was ready. That’s why her Scar opened to me. You could find it. Please, just help her. I don’t care what you do to me. Just save her.” She was screaming at him again and tried to level off her voice.

He leaned down to her. His light was so bright it nearly burned her, and he whispered, “There is only one way, and it’s our way.” He straightened back up and addressed the group of Healers behind him. “Take her away; we have more to discuss.”

Two large men came and plucked her off the platform. One of them was her friend Cole. She’d always considered him her best friend, although he might not have known it. Amanda tried to avoid getting too close to anyone.

As the stranger and Cole carried her off, she looked up and saw tears staining Cole’s handsome face. His chiseled jaw was clenched tightly, and he looked as if he were holding back sobs. Amanda wished she could wipe away his tears. She hated seeing them on the cheeks that usually bore happy dimples.

She looked back at the Ancients and wanted to put up some sort of fight. Maybe, if I hit him hard enough, he’ll turn to dust, Amanda thought, but it was no more than a thought. She knew she could never hurt anyone, even him. She only had her words.

“Why won’t you save her, someone who needs your help, when you’re so quick to ‘save’ me, someone who denies the need of it?” she said.

“You think it unnecessary, girl, but you do need saving, whether you want it or not. No unclean thing may walk among us,” he called out after her.

The last thing she witnessed before the doors swung shut and blocked all sight and sound was the Ancients joining hands and addressing the arena as one.

“Do not be woeful, Brothers and Sisters. There is no need to say farewell. You will see her again clean and whole.”

Seeing them standing together speaking of her like she was already dead and gone sent a shiver down her spine. No one objected, and she wasn’t angry with the Healers. She understood why they were so easily swayed.

The Ancients sounded so righteous.

* * *

Amanda hadn’t ever been to this part of the Hovel, so all of the twisting and turning corridors were new. At first, the hallways looked modern with stainless steel and fluorescent lights, but as the journey progressed, the hallways began to grow dark and aged. She’d always known the Hovel was much larger than the old factory stretched out on the Chicago street, but she hadn’t realized the extent.

By the time they reached her holding cell, the walls had become covered in stone and vegetation. The smell of damp earth led her to believe they were deep underground. Amanda knew she was in shock when she thought with a fascinated detachment that she’d never known the Hovel had a dungeon.

Her mind and body were so tired she didn’t attempt to fight as they laid her on the damp rock floor. She didn’t even wonder about how much time she had left or worry about how little time Kaedin had. Her eyelids were so heavy they didn’t need drugs to lull her to sleep this time around. She was out before they had shut the heavy door. Her unconscious mind heard Cole’s whispered words.

“I won’t let this poison or the Ancients take you from me. I’ll find a way to get you out of here. I can’t lose you… not again.”

4

Amanda didn’t know if her body was stiff from too much sleep, too little, or just lack of a bed. Might as well be dead, since rigor mortis had already set in. Cracking her bones back into place, she took note of her surroundings. Though it was hard to see anything in the soupy darkness, she eventually realized it was an archaic holding cell. Amanda couldn’t guess how old it was, but it resembled the ones in movies that were set in King Arthur’s time.

“Paging the Knights of the Round Table, damsel in distress here… Who am I kidding? There’s no one to save me, or Kaedin,” she said.

She stood up and began to explore more of the cell. It was larger than any of the Hovel’s classrooms. Amanda tilted her head up but couldn’t tell how high the ceiling stretched. She made her way over to the walls and ran her fingers along the moss that thrived in the cracks of the old rocks. Walking the perimeter, she counted her steps, trying to estimate the size and shape of the cell just to give her something to do while she waited. Amanda hadn’t ever feared death. In fact, at the prospect of living as long as the Ancients did, it was a thing she welcomed. Yet here, with death so close, it wasn’t something that she wanted. She took in a deep lungful of cool-moist-air, allowing the taste of it to linger on her tongue. The flavor reminded her of the streets after rain, clean and earthy. She let the soft moss caress her fingers. It was cool and calming. A wave of shock ran through her. How long did she have left to feel the air on her tongue, the moss in her hands? Could you feel after death?

Healers were always so in touch with everything around them, it seemed almost alien not to feel. Her hands stopped short, having made contact with something strange attached to the walls. At her touch, flakes of rust fell into her hand. They were chains, old ones. Amanda moved the heavy chains with some effort.

“Wow, they’re big enough to have an anchor at the end of them.”

She studied the area closer. The chains had worn a canyon into the rock behind them. Her eyes followed them up the wall. She squinted into the darkness at the huge bracelets that hung open. Amanda stared wide-eyed for several moments before realizing she was standing in front of a colossal pair of shackles. She looked down at the metal coiled at her feet and found a bracelet there too. Her muscles strained as she attempted to lift it up. This alone weighed about sixty pounds.

What had they been trying to lock up? she wondered, looking again at the deep track worn into the grey rock. Whatever it was, it had put up quite a fight.

Still holding the shackle, she tried to absorb some information from it. She concentrated all of her energy onto the shackle. Amanda felt disappointment and some anger from whatever had worn the cuffs. She attempted to see the creature behind the feelings, but her thoughts continually led her back to the Ancients in an annoying circle.

She didn’t know why, but she felt it was important to know who or what had been chained here. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, she failed to see anything but them.

“Dang it!” She kicked at the wall and tumbled over in pain. “Why can’t I stop thinking of the Ancients? Even when I close my eyes, I see their gaunt faces. Wait…”

She concentrated harder and her mind drew a clearer picture of the Ancient who circled her thoughts. Her face was less harsh than the others were. She was the same as them and yet, somehow, completely different.

She wasn’t at her trial, or whatever it was. Her jaw fell open as she realized why this Ancient’s face was in her mind while holding the shackles. They had her locked up here! An Ancient? Why would they lock up one of their own? She remembered the anger that seeped from the tallest Ancient when she said his wasn’t the only way.

As she studied the new Ancient’s face, her mind’s still picture of the woman jumped to life. Her large hollow eyes started blinking and her hair began flying about her uneven head. A smile stretched across the unfamiliar face as she beckoned Amanda to her with a long grotesque finger. She was surprised that her feet moved in longing toward the imagined apparition. The scene dissolved as she shook her head back and forth, which shot pain up and down her legs and brought the familiar stars to her eyes.

Why did she want to go to her? They must have some way of fogging people’s judgment. Locked up or not she was still an Ancient. She could never trust one of them. They had no emotion. If they cared, they would already be searching for Kaedin, not willing to let her suffer. No, the Ancients cared about one thing, and that was order. As she thought these last words, the smile came back into her mind. The strange Ancient’s grin seemed free and a bit crazed nothing orderly about it.

Maybe not all of them, maybe not. She was so deep in thought she barely felt Madgie’s presence enter the room, but it was there.

“Hello,” she said quietly.

Her friend was at her side in one fluid motion clasping a nervous hand over her mouth. “Be quiet child and listen.” Madgie quickly glanced back in the direction she entered and began to speak. “S-B you must do what I say if you are going to live past the next few minutes. Do you understand?” Amanda tried to speak, but Madgie’s hand was too tight over her mouth, so she just nodded slowly. “Follow me as far as I can take you and remain absolutely silent. Do not draw attention to yourself in any way. I’m going to try to get you out of the Hovel. I tried to talk to the Ancients, asked them to wait awhile, give you a fighting chance. But they just won’t see reason. They don’t understand what happened, so you must be destroyed. Once we leave here, there is only one that can help. If you have taken the time to feel this room, then you know who I mean. Find her, the one that shared your cell.”

Amanda’s eyes widened in surprise, and she took

Madgie’s hand from her mouth. “Yes, I saw her, but she’s an Ancient, and you want me to seek her out?”

Madgie spoke again quickly. “Yes and you must. The Ancients will hunt you, find you, and kill you. She stands alone as the only being to escape their clutches. Find her, Amanda. She’ll be able to protect you from them.”

Amanda cocked a brow questioningly. “And why would she want to help me?”

Madgie’s lips curved into an uneven smile. “She would do just about anything to defy the Ancients. If they want you dead, then it will be her life’s mission to preserve you, for nothing more than the simple pleasure of annoying them.”

Amanda smiled back at her. “Will she be able to help me find Kaedin?” she asked eagerly.

Madgie shrugged her shoulders. “Like I said, I don’t know if it’s even possible to find a Scar, S-B; but if it is, she’ll be able to find it. She’s the most powerful being ever to walk the earth. The Ancients have outlawed the mere utterance of her name, Shiphra. Her existence is a blot on their ‘all-powerful’ personas. If she’s strong enough to elude them, then she’s stronger than all of the Ancients combined. All who were alive when Shiphra escaped know this, and it kills them.”

“She’s an Ancient, isn’t she? I mean, I always thought they were kind of a package deal. They even have the same voice,” Amanda said.

“Yes, she is, the Ancients you saw today would like me to say that she ‘was’ an Ancient, but I suppose that isn’t true. As long as she’s living, she’s an Ancient. It isn’t a title one can shed. How well did you fare, trying to rid yourself the stamp of ‘Healer’?”

Amanda didn’t like thinking about that time in her life.

“No, these aren’t things we choose. We just are what we are. Oh, and that was the leader of the Ancients, Baal’s voice you heard. They all have their own voices, but, over the years, I’ve heard their individual ones less and less,” Madgie said.

She was going to ask why they’d locked Shiphra up but realized she was wasting time with stupid questions. If they were going to make it out of here, they needed to get moving.

“So what’s the plan?”

“First put these on,” Madgie said, throwing her a bundle of clothes.

Amanda unraveled them and found a pair of sneakers, jeans, a sweater, and a long cloak.

The old woman started to pace the room, her every movement silent as the desert. “Well, getting out of here has no plan. Just follow me, try to be invisible, and pray for luck, but after you get out that’s a different story. As soon as you leave the Hovel, you must run, travel as far away from here as you can. You must move quickly while taking the time to cover your tracks. Try not to leave a wake of emotion,” she said.

Amanda shucked off the gown and slipped into the jeans. “The less you think about your situation, the less emotions you feel, the better. They’ll be like bloodhounds on a scent, and they’re proud. You’ll make a fool of them, so they’ll want to drag you back here for everyone to see. All of this withstanding, you can’t be afraid. Fear is the simplest emotion to sense. Even animals can do it,” Madgie said. “As you run, I want you to think nothing of your trial or familiar faces. Try to think about Shiphra as much as possible. Meditate on the face you saw. If she wants you to, you will find her.”

Amanda picked up the light grey cloak and quickly threw it on.

Madgie glanced back at the only door in the cell once more and spoke. “We must leave. Now!” She turned on her heel and ran for the door with Amanda quickly following.

5

Madgie opened the large wooden door of the cell with caution. Glancing back and forth, she swept quickly out of the holding place. Amanda stepped out slowly with her eyes shut tight, expecting to be tackled by a guard. When no one immediately brought her down, she opened her eyes and saw they were alone in the hallway. Amanda let out a breath of relief and closed the door behind her as quietly as she could manage. An audible click hung mockingly in the air, and they both froze in place.

After a few moments of stillness, they continued. Madgie had told her to think as little as possible about her situation, but she couldn’t stop her mind from reeling.

Why in the world did they have no one guarding her cell?

Madgie had just walked through the door and plucked her out. Of course, to the Ancients, and most Healers, their word was law. They never imagined someone would defy their wishes. Did they not understand that they all had the option of saying no? The cloak hid her well; only the tips of her fingers could be glimpsed at the bottom of the long sleeves. She wished she could pull it up and look at herself in the light of the hallway. Inside of her, the war still raged. She was getting so used to the pain it was hard for her to tell if there had been an improvement or not. A question she continually asked herself. Maybe the answer was on her skin.

It took all of the self-control she possessed, which was very little, not to draw back the dangling sleeve and study her veins. Madgie rounded the corner and didn’t hesitate even for a moment, so Amanda was taken aback when there were Healers scattered throughout the hallway in front of them. She almost stopped in her tracks, but Madgie’s confidence was contagious, and she managed to continue their doomed-to-fail trek. Luckily, the people in the hallway were too caught up in conversation to be bothered by the passersby.

“I can’t even imagine how she was feeling in the arena. You have to be in a lot of pain in order to project it from you, and I could feel her pain, burning me,” said an older-looking gentleman she’d never met before.

The plump lady standing next to him puffed up. “We all feel sorry for her, but honestly she’s the one to blame for her current state. If she were properly educated, she would still be pure and strong,” she said.

The man looked taken aback. “Surely you can’t blame a ten-year-old for being scared at the Dredging. You must remember how overwhelming it was. Strangers plucking you from the life you lead, although most don’t run. It is understandable when one does,” he said. His kind face looked up at Amanda as she passed, and a little smile played at the corners of his thin lips.

The old lady didn’t notice and shrugged her shoulders. “No, it isn’t. She’s just a bad seed. Even now, when she’s old enough to know better, she questions the Ancients. If I were in her position I’d be glad of their decision,” she stated in a matter- of-fact tone.

The man looked unconvinced. “Are you so sure of how you would feel in her position when you have never been in it?” he asked.

The woman looked down her nose at the short old gentleman with harsh eyes. “Yes,” she said defiantly.

Amanda heard no more of the conversation. Either because she and Madgie had gotten out of ear shot or it had abruptly ended. Both seemed likely options, so she’d never know which it was. She and Madgie had cleared the group of Healers without notice, which was surprising.

“How do they not feel me as I feel you?” she asked.

Madgie kept the same pace and spoke quietly without turning. “They are so caught up in the day’s events that they aren’t able to use their senses, even if they cared to try. You have to be interested in the world around you, beyond yourself, in order to sense anything in it. Aside from that, I’m having a hard time feeling your spirit myself. I have to focus intently to get your flicker, and I know you better than most,” she explained.

They slowly made their way up in a flash of unfamiliar corridors and stairways. They finally reached familiar territory, and Amanda thought they might actually make it out of the Hovel unseen and unscathed. They mounted the last set of stairs and were met by a familiar face. She didn’t know if it was the puffiness of his cheeks or the redness of his eyes that caused it, but she called out to him before she could stop herself.

“Cole?” Amanda said.

His tear-wrecked face looked up at the sound of her voice, the pain in his eyes was apparent. “Amanda?”

A flood of emotion overwhelmed her as she realized just how much he’d been holding back all of these years. His longing was so strong her mind was clouded, and she couldn’t separate his feelings from her own.

She stared at him, her best friend. He looked terrible. She’d never seen a person outside of a Scar look so dreadful. His naturally tanned skin had drained of all color. Cole’s bright eyes had lost all spark, the small fragment left of her heart broke at the sight of him in such pain. She didn’t tell herself to move, but her feet began walking toward him nevertheless. Amanda reached out, and his strong hand rose to meet hers. As their fingertips touched, she felt his energy pass into her. She smiled as her fragile heart fluttered in her chest like a bird in its cage.

Madgie pulled the two of them apart angrily and chastised them. “Every Healer in the Hovel no matter how thick felt that flood of emotion. I’m sorry, Amanda, I have no backup plan. We’ll be found out,” she said, her voice caked in sorrow.

Amanda tried to sense a change, hoping not to find one, but had no such luck. She felt the stillness of the Hovel, as all of the people in its walls interpreted the meaning of what had just hit them. Her eyes grew wide as the tranquility of the place transformed into utter chaos. They knew she was trying to leave.

Cole’s face mirrored hers. He grabbed her hand tightly and began scaling the stairs two at a time, dragging her behind him.

Madgie was on their heels shouting at them. “You morons wait until now to figure out that you’re in love with one another? Everyone else around here has known for years and been waiting to bust you for it. You couldn’t have asked for a more poorly timed moment. Where are you taking us, you idiot?” she grumbled.

Cole didn’t turn to speak so Amanda couldn’t see them, but when he spoke, she knew his dimples had returned. “Sorry, Madgie, I never found an opportune moment. Amanda always seems to be in trouble.”

She thought about drawing her hand back in protest, but she liked where it was too much to be stubborn. “I’m not always in trouble!”

Madgie rolled her eyes at the pair of them as she spoke. “Not to interrupt the cute banter you two have going here, but we’re all going to die if we don’t find a way out of the Hovel!”

“I know, and I won’t let that happen.” Cole spoke softly and seriously.

He stopped ascending two floors beneath the Hovel’s entrance and took a sharp left, leading them down the corridor to the male dormitories. Amanda hoped he had some sort of plan worked out. They were still two stories underground, surrounded by Healers.

He took an awkward pattern of lefts and rights, attempting to avoid the array of pursuers, but it was getting more difficult to sense individuals in the upheaval.

She had no idea where he was headed, but it felt to her like they were just making unceremonious circles. As they rounded the same corner for a second time, Cole stopped short, immediately on guard. Amanda looked past him and saw the kindly face of the man who had been speaking of her in the hall as she passed. She felt Cole gather energy as he put a shield between them and the older gentleman.

He smiled and began to speak in a soft voice. “No need for that, young man, I just came to tell Amanda good luck,” he said as he raised his hands in a non-confrontational way. “Oh, and Cole, if you’re looking for the door, it has popped up just down there.” He gestured down the hallway with a smile.

“I was lucky to find you, and my good luck will go to waste if you dawdle, so get on your way. I hope to see you in happier times, my dear. You are one person I would love to talk to. I’ve never felt such strength. You have so much love to give, too much perhaps,” he said as he moved to the side of the hallway, waiting for them to pass.

Madgie smiled brightly. “Thank you, Finn, you are truly a friend.”

Cole hesitated a moment before walking past the old man, but once they had cleared him, he picked up the pace. He flat out ran until he came to a small round door that seemed completely out of place, halfway covering another door on the wall. Amanda heard rushing footsteps drifting down the hallway. Cole grabbed the knob and flung it open. Madgie quickly slipped through. Cole climbed in after pulling Amanda in behind him. She reached back to shut it, and just as her palm met the warm wood, she saw the angry face of a familiar Healer.

Frey.

He was someone she knew by name but had never grown close to. Frey had always looked down at her for fleeing the Hovel and trying to be normal. He loved being a Healer and having the power they possessed. Most Healers had a bad taste in their mouths about her, but he was the worst of them all. Looking at her as if she was garbage, and maybe that was deserved. But she wasn’t the only one unsettled by him. When he walked into the room, it seemed to still as collective prey before a predator. His hand lashed out like a striking snake, bringing her out of her shock, but he wasn’t fast enough.

She slammed the door shut and searched for a lock that wasn’t there. She braced herself tightly against the door, but to her surprise, he didn’t put up any more effort to open it. Why wasn’t he trying to get in? He could blast this thing right off its hinges if he wanted to. She looked at Cole.

“The door teleported when you shut it. Just in time too. Good-looking and handy in a tight spot.” He smiled down at her with laughter dancing in his eyes.

“What are you talking about, teleported?” she asked.

“The door moves locations each time this room is entered. It takes awhile to pop back up, and they still need to figure out where in the Hovel it landed. So we should be safe while we search.” She looked at him dumbfounded. “What? The girl’s dorm doesn’t have one of these?” he asked her.

“No, the girl’s dormitory doesn’t have one of these. And what are we searching for?” she asked.

“Some time ago an Ancient harnessed the energy of Scars and put it in this room for study. It is a small point of energy that takes people to places like a Scar takes you to a memory. Just touch it and you are elsewhere. Where you come out is different every time, Africa, Ireland, don’t know until you’re there. That’s why the room is this way. They didn’t know it at the time, but that little pin prick of energy affected this lab. Now it moves with each entrance just as a Scar does,” Madgie answered.

Amanda huffed. Just when she thought she had a firm grasp on everything, they slap her with something new to wrap her mind around.

“Okay, so where does this energy ball thing like to hang out?” she asked.

Cole glanced around the room. “I don’t know. It’s hard to find. It moves every time like the room, and Madgie wasn’t joking when she referred to it as a pinpoint of energy. Just make like a raccoon and look for something small and shiny, got it?”

Amanda smiled at his undeniable cuteness and began to search. She wasn’t used to having her walls down, and the last few days had pretty well blown them down completely. Lying naked on a lab table, crying and screaming in pain, being sentenced to death with no one objecting — yeah, that’ll do it. They fanned out in opposite directions, scanning every inch of the room. There were thick books stacked high along the walls and large tables with numerous drawers down the front of them. She doubted they could find a pinprick in all of the mess.

As time passed, she grew more and more nervous and found herself glancing at the door every few seconds. She knew she wasn’t the only one. She felt Madgie’s anxiety and saw that Cole’s demeanor had lost all lightness. As Amanda was looking at Cole, she noticed a jacket lying crumpled on a chair. She went to it, not sure why it had caught her eye. Amanda picked the jacket up slowly and looked it over. It was an unremarkable thing, dark grey like so many others in the Hovel and made of wool so scratchy that she felt sorry for its owner.

It was an ugly jacket and nothing more. She was frustrated with herself for wasting time and went to throw it back down when something caught her eye. Amanda brought the jacket in close and saw the bright light in its front pocket. “Here, it’s here! I found it.”

Cole and Madgie’s heads both shot up, and Amanda smiled brightly at them. She was confused when they didn’t return her smile, but understood as the metal click of a doorknob reached her ears. She quickly turned to see the little round door burst open.

6

There are so many, Amanda thought.

Grey-clad figures poured into the room like water from a sieve. They moved as one unit, step for step like toy soldiers wound at the same time. Their uniforms bore no gold tassels or honoring medals. The only thing sparkling was their calf-high, spit-shined boots. Monochromatic from neck to toe, they blended into the grey-colored walls and each other. The sharp points of the heavily starched pleats in their uniforms were the only tell of where one began and the other ended.

She stood frozen with fear, directly between her friends and her pursuers. The room was still, neither side making a move. Amanda looked at the sea of grey-cloaked Healers. She spotted Frey and his larger-than-life sidekick Carter standing among them, looking pleased. Hate radiated from him. If anyone would make the first move, it would be him. They didn’t know what she had in her hands. They couldn’t know that her escape was in reach. She looked back at Cole. He nodded his head toward the jacket. She tried to slip her hand into the pocket without appearing suspicious.

“Amanda, we understand how hard this must be.” The only man not in grey spoke quickly. “But this is the best path for you. If that weren’t true, the Ancients wouldn’t have made it so.” His soft gentle voice was full of concern for her well-being, and she knew it wasn’t just for show.

He really thought capturing her would be doing her a favor. Her hand inched closer to the pocket. She needed to distract them, so she spoke. “The Ancients are not omnipotent. They make mistakes just like we do, and this is a mistake. If they just give me time, I know I can fight off this poison. You don’t have to do this. See for yourselves,” she said.

Hoping her skin had improved, she rolled back the light fabric of the sleeve. To her relief, the blackness that traced her veins had faded, if not just slightly. It was enough to see that the Ancients were wrong.

As her pursuers stood unbelieving, she managed to slide her hand into the pocket undetected. Her fingers were so close to the portal that she felt the heat of it warming her hand. Just as she was about to touch it, Frey began to speak to his comrades heatedly.

“We have our orders, we are to capture them.”

She let out a breath. Them? Now Madgie and Cole were in this with her she realized, the idea turning her stomach. Amanda looked back at Cole, his eyes pleading her to go, but she couldn’t. Not without them.

Frey was still rallying his ranks of followers with Carter towering behind him in an intimidating show of support. “Will you be swayed by her when we have the word of the Ancients? She’s not to be trusted.” He thrust his hand in her direction.

She glanced back at Cole and lightly shook her head. His eyes grew wide in understanding. She wouldn’t leave without him. Her would-be captors had shrugged off any uncertainty, their bloodthirsty eyes trained on her. Cole threw up a protective wall just as the mob began launching an attack. She turned and sprinted toward Cole and Madgie. His wall didn’t last long against so many attacks, and she felt a ball of energy whiz by her ear. She had never seen anything like it in all of her lessons and in an instant realized why. In its wake was a murky cloud of hate and pain.

It was dark magic. They were trying to kill them.

Amanda looked back and saw the scowl on Frey’s pale face. She almost ran into Cole, who scooped her under his arm and started them toward Madgie while blocking spells as fast as they were coming at them. Amanda tried to help, but she couldn’t throw up a shield, she was too weak. There was smoke filling the air, and she saw a number of fires quickly devouring the feast of paper that was scattered about the room. She sidestepped an energy ball, unable to block it, realizing she had less energy than she’d thought and just how vulnerable she was.

She hated herself for not being able to help Cole block the tirade of attacks flying at them. A wall of thick smoke had formed, and she lost sight of Madgie. She searched desperately, squinting into the grey-black haze.

“Cole I can’t find Madgie! Where is she?” she yelled.

“Don’t worry,” he said quickly.

Amanda realized she was using the wrong senses and began searching for Madgie’s well-known spiritual signature. The kindhearted one in the group was calling out over the sound of the fight.

“Stop the attack! Stop the attack! The Ancients care about you; they want the best for you. Amanda, if you have anything good left in you, please come with us. We’ll make sure you’re saved,” he begged.

She could feel what a good man he was, and she wished he could understand. “I don’t need them to save me. I can save myself,” she shouted.

Amanda felt Madgie’s presence upon them but still she couldn’t see the tall thin woman.

“S-B! Get out of here. Go, now!” Madgie’s voice commanded.

Amanda looked down and saw a figure crumpled on the floor and let out a cry. “Madgie!” She reached down to her friend. Cole was still with her, holding her tight.

“Amanda, make sure you have a good hold on her and grab the portal,” he said quietly.

She didn’t make a move to grab it, too shocked at the appearance of the classroom. It no longer held any resemblance to those she’d grown and studied in, it looked like a war zone. Flames hungrily licking their way across every surface, burning as much as the visceral hatred being directed at her.

“Now!” he urged.

Amanda slipped her hand around the warm speck of energy. Her heart flew to the back of her chest, and the hooded figures around them froze in place. Her fluttering heart ceased to beat when she saw the shimmering ball of energy that was inches from Cole’s sculpted face. He could have died. The thought of never again seeing his bright eyes shining down at her tore a hole in her chest. She never knew she needed to see his smile every day to be happy. Panic took her as she worried that they should have been taken somewhere by now. Then, there was an incredible pressure on her chest, and the air came rushing out of her lungs. As her feet flew off the floor, she caught a glimpse of a meaty hand around Madgie’s ankle.

“No!” Amanda yelled as her hand led the way into the space between here and there.

* * *

Smoke swirled in mocking circles where the prisoners and Carter had been.

“They’re gone?” Frey asked, unbelieving. The Ancients will be furious, he thought, letting out a psychotic shriek that rattled the Guard members around him. “How can they have gotten past all of us?” He turned to face the men he was addressing.

Out of all of the Healers who could have been causing this trouble, it had to be her!

Seeing her stunned face just before she’d been swept away took him back to a cold night two years ago… when she’d come back to the Hovel…

He wasn’t as high ranking then and still objectified to boring perimeter guard around the outside of the Hovel. He hated it, not just because it was boring, but also because Chicago was bitter cold in the winter. It wasn’t snowing. It felt too cold to snow. The air was still, and suspended in it were small bits of frost catching the streetlights and shining like glitter. He exhaled and watched as his cloud of breath stirred the shimmering ice in the air into a frenzy. Just as he was readying to turn, something or more accurately someone caught his eye. A small dark figure was walking toward the Hovel with weak but determined steps. He sensed that whoever approached was a Healer, not the regular human drifter he usually spotted on duty. The Hovel was located in a mostly industrial part of town and looked like nothing more than a well-kept factory from the outside. It was way past lock down, so whoever this was had broken the rules. Which allowed him to have some enjoyment at this tardy person’s expense. After all, it was his job to enforce the rules.

As the shivering person continued to approach, he realized it was a female Healer and a young one too. This was going to be fun. When the girl was twenty feet away, he called out to her in his most authoritative voice. “Halt!”

She turned her head up toward the noise. He gasped when he recognized her face. It was Amanda Cates, the girl who had caused so much trouble for the Ancients, the deserter who many Healers, including people close to him, were secretly obsessed with. She’d made a public choice to leave, and her choosing something other than what they’d told her stuck in their minds. Even though most were good at hiding it from everyone, he saw through their masks.

She stood as still as she could manage through the involuntary shivers that rocked her body. Her ragged breaths hung in clouds above her before disappearing into nothing. She was much skinnier than he remembered, but she was still remarkably beautiful. Her large blue eyes were as bright as his mind’s memory of her, though somehow filled with much more sadness. She wasn’t dressed for the weather at all, making him think her return was either a spur of the moment decision or one made out of desperation.

“It’s you.” he snapped. Maybe I should show her just how much she was missed, Frey mused.

Her eyes looked tired, which was good. He didn’t want her to put up too much of a fight and just getting here looked like it had taken all of the fight out of her. Maybe she won’t even scream. Other Guards were on duty, and nine out of ten would just join him in his games, but there were a few…

“What’s going on here?” a voice behind him asked.

Frey turned and saw Joseph, a Sergeant.

Dang it! he thought, knowing he’d just pulled the one out of ten who wouldn’t let him have fun.

Joseph took off his grey coat, fastened it around Amanda, and escorted her inside, never taking his eyes off Frey. He hated how Joseph looked at him as if he could read his mind.

She’d gotten away then, though she might not have known it, and she’d gotten away again.

A hand patted his shoulder comfortingly. “It is okay, son, the Ancients will find her and set her free.”

Frey turned to the kindly Healer who had followed the swarm of grey to help, not understanding that running away from these men was a wiser choice and put a sharp finger in his face. “This is your fault, Danimir!” he spat, his wide eyes crazed.

“I-I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” he stuttered. “Not as sorry as you will be.”

* * *

Amanda landed awkwardly on the ground, which was covered with tall grass and large rocks. She attempted to realign her senses. It was cool, and she tasted sweet, moist air on her tongue. Amanda opened her eyes to see rolling hills and valleys surrounded by jagged misty mountains. In the far distance, she could see steps of rice beds cut into the landscape. The uneven earth was blanketed in twisting cypress trees and walls of bamboo. Beautiful sheets of pink against the green hillsides told her that the plum blossoms were in bloom. Where was she, and more importantly, where were Cole and Madgie?

She tried to stand up but was too dizzy and fell back to the earth. “Cole! Madgie!” Amanda whispered, looking around desperately. She tried to stand once again and this time she succeeded. “Cole!” Amanda called out more loudly. Hearing something rustling behind her she turned around swiftly.

Cole was shaking his head, dark curls full of grass. He smiled, and her heart skipped a beat.

“Wow. We’re not dead. What are the chances?”

She smiled at him and then remembered Madgie. “Cole, is Madgie near you?”

He looked around and shook his head. “No, but we need to find her. I think she was stunned by one of their orbs. I don’t think it was one that Frey or Carter threw, which is lucky. Those crazy jerks meant to kill us,” he said as he stood up and moved to her side.

Cole reached over and picked up her hand. She looked down at the gesture, wondering how something so simple could make her feel so whole. It’s just a hand. His hand. Looking at their hands brought to mind another hand, and a shiver ran up her spine.

“Come on, let’s find Madgie before she gets angry,” he said, laughing.

She turned and studied the patch of ground she found herself in. She’d landed here, and Cole… She looked up and guessed that he’d landed about fifteen yards to her right. Amanda thought back to the room. Cole was on her right and Madgie was below her to the left. She looked to her left, into the setting sun, and saw a deep valley that had already fallen into shadow.

“If we’re going to start a search party, I think dark scary valley is a good place to check out.”

Cole pulled her next to him. Amanda tried to enjoy the act, but her mind still circled the image of the strange hand grasping Madgie’s ankle. She and Cole began their decent side by side into the ever-darkening valley.

He led the way, moving with quick precise motions that she found hard to replicate on such uneven terrain. They didn’t have a path to follow, so they climbed over slick moss-covered rocks and had to avoid thick bushes spiked with uninviting thorns. Although she wasn’t good at it, she attempted to tread lightly, wanting to stay as quiet as possible. Something told her she needed to do this, though she didn’t understand why. Shouldn’t we be making as much noise as possible to find Madgie?

Whatever the reasoning behind her hushed footfall, she knew she needed to shrug it off. They had to start calling out for Madgie. It would be hard to spot her through the dense vegetation. Amanda took a breath to call out, and Cole grabbed her arm and shook his head slowly. She was surprised and studied his face. His heavy brow was furrowed in confusion.

“What?” she mouthed to him.

He took a knee and gently pulled her down with him. She didn’t hesitate and knelt beside him, rough earth digging at her flesh.

He pulled her in closely and whispered in his deep melodic voice, “We shouldn’t make our presence known here, not yet. Ever since we stepped into this valley, I’ve had a terrible feeling I can’t shake. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I mean I can’t track anything down or pin point why, but I feel like we are being hunted.”

She, having felt the same thing, looked into the nearby brush and nodded. “Well, I don’t know how quickly the Ancients work, but I think we need to get used to the feeling of being hunted.”

Amanda didn’t know if they were feeling spooked by someone thousands of miles away or if something sinister lurked just beyond her sight. She hadn’t wanted to worry Cole about something she was so unsure of, but she vocalized her thoughts before she could stop herself.

“I thought I saw someone grab Madgie before we made the leap.”

She waited a few moments and turned to Cole, surprised that he hadn’t responded. Seeing the look of shock on his face, she chastised herself. Why hadn’t she told him sooner? She looked up into his pure brown eyes and saw a bouquet of emotions rattling inside of him. Amanda stuttered.

“I’m sorry, Cole. I should have said something to you, I just wasn’t sure if I—”

“It’s okay, don’t apologize. So much has happened to you in such a short amount of time. I’m sure it’s hard to keep everything lined up. I’m not sure how you’re doing this well. If I looked like you, I’d still be in my cell crying.” He smiled as he took a deep breath in.

If I looked like you? Do I look that bad? She brought her hand to her face.

He reached out to her, taking it away. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you’re strong, stronger than most.” He drew her hand slowly to his lips, but she pulled it away before he could kiss it. Cole continued talking unabashed. “I’ll always like the way you look,” he said kindly, but she couldn’t imagine that he meant it. “Do you have any idea who was holding onto Madgie?”

She paused and took herself back to that moment. Who was around her? She concentrated hard on the few seconds that the fight had lasted. She felt the presence of her friends, Cole and Madgie were near her. Next, she felt the presence of her unknown pursuers. Three were blocking the door, another two against the far wall, and the older man was partway between her and Frey, attempting to stop his unrelenting stream of attacks. That left one unaccounted for. She spoke his name and felt the acidic contents of her stomach rise to the back of her throat. “Carter.” Cole bit into his lower lip, muffling a curse. “Did Frey come out with him?”

“No, he was on the other side of the room,” she said with confidence.

“Well then it could have been worse. Still, out of all those Healers it had to be him.” Cole tilted his head back, allowing the last of the days light to wrap around his dark curls.

7

A lone man stood tall in the arena. Bright lights hanging high above Finn highlighted the determination on his weathered face. The sound of murmuring dissent rang out all around the arena, but he gathered his strength and continued his plea. “Listen, I’ve known Madgie for nearly seventy years now. She’d never involve herself in something wicked. Madgie has always built up the Hovel. If she has fled, it’s for a good reason. Perhaps she truly believes Amanda can be made whole.”

A deep voice rang out from the Ancients, though none of them had opened their mouths. “She cannot!” the voice said.

The willowy Healer drove on. “You can’t just put a death warrant on Madgie’s head. She hasn’t broken any law. She did what she thought was right. And this young Cole, he loves her.” His moist eyes looked up at the crowd of his peers. “I felt it, and so did you. Will you kill him on sight for saving the one he loves?”

An old woman stood up in the crowd. “That’s right, Finn. Tell them, that they might see,” she shouted.

A young man next to her jerked her down as the arena erupted in equal shouts of agreement and shouts of anger.

Finn lifted his chin slightly at the newfound support. “And Amanda, why couldn’t we have just waited to see if she would recover? I don’t want someone to put me down every time I get a cold,” he joked.

Cries went out all over the teeming arena. “It’s not a cold.”

“She’s evil!”

“No one knows.” “The Ancients do!”

“What are the Ancients, your Kings and Queens, your rulers? No, no one rules over us. Every single one of them was once no more than a Healer, the same as you and me.” Finn couldn’t stop himself from shouting. He quickly turned to the five Ancients towering above him. “We are Healers. We govern ourselves. You haven’t the right to put death on us,” he bellowed. A bright flash of light burst to life at these words. He had no time to react to the bolt of energy that ripped through his chest, burning a hole in his heart. His lifeless body staggered, muscles twitching involuntarily, making him look like a haunting marionette before finally hitting the ground.

The crowd of Healers burst into horrified screams as they gazed at the dead body of Finn, a man who had been a friend to all of them.

The tallest Ancient closed his eyes and waved his disjointed hand across the room. Everything went silent as men and women fell back into chairs, and those who were standing in protest, crumpled to the floor.

The tallest and male leader of the Ancients rubbed his eyes

with sharp fingers and spoke to the others mentally. “Calm down. They are asleep. It was the easiest spell to cast,” Baal said as he looked at the four other beings who had shared such a long life with him. A perfect life.

He knew none were as powerful as they were together, and he worried about what would happen next. This was uncharted territory. The Healers had always been so obedient. They’d catered to his every whim for centuries. Shiphra started all of this upheaval. It had been boiling just under the surface for seven decades.

Baal glided slowly over to Finn’s crumpled form. He turned the thin body over and caressed his still-warm cheek gently. Baal took the sweet old face in his palms and began pressing his hands together, crunching bones and twisting skin until the distorted face was no longer recognizable. He should have killed her when he had the chance.

A blast of energy rippled through him, turning the man in his hands into a pile of ashes. Delia’s voice echoed in his head. “Stop whining about Shiphra. We have more pressing matters to take care of. And was it really necessary to kill him in front of everyone?” Delia asked boldly. She was the only one that would address him so casually.

“What do you think? Should I have let him continue to warp the minds of our sheep? No, it had to be done. Now we just have to clean up the mess.”

Delia’s mind wheeled with options for the other four to see. “So which shall it be? He attacked us, Finn never showed up to this meeting, or the usual ‘he never existed’ route?” she asked. Baal began to think of Shiphra again but Delia stopped him. “You know we don’t have the power to erase the memory of a fellow Ancient so why tire yourself with these thoughts? Now decide which it is,” she said, her inner voice full of boredom.

Baal was tired of the trivial matter of covering up one life, so he waved the responsibility off to Heisle.

He was never entrusted with decisions, so he was quite excited for the opportunity that had been presented, despite the circumstances. His inner voice was high and unsure, very unlike the others. “Well, not all of the Healers who knew Finn were at this meeting. So it’s a waste of energy to wipe his memory from these few.” He gestured around the room of hundreds of sleeping Healers. “And all who knew Finn would never believe him to attack. So it would take far too much energy to alter so many minds so greatly, maybe even drain us completely until we are little dried up—”

“I don’t want you to explain your little theories! I’m not interested. Just deal with it, so that I don’t have to,” Baal shouted internally.

Not one person in two and a half centuries understood why Heisle had been chosen to become an Ancient, not even him.

“I can’t remember the last time Heisle spoke. I think it’s been decades. I forgot how ridiculously small his voice is.” Delia laughed.

Heisle moved away as the other Ancients went back into the company of their own minds, walking around the arena twice to make sure he felt every soul. Once certain he had all of them at his fingertips, he went to the center of the arena. Standing tall and stretching his arms out wide, he felt the Healers’ life, their vigor, and dreams. Heisle let each of them flow into his consciousness.

This exercise was necessary to build energy before a large spell, but it did the opposite for Heisle. Each dream was a goal he could never obtain. Each life was fuller than his own. He glanced back at the four Ancients towering in the massive dome, completely aloof to the corpse lying still at their feet.

His energy drained from him, and he allowed it to flow out of his feet. Heisle was happy that he at least had the privacy of his mind when he wanted to have it. An Ancient could pick the mind of even the strongest Healer with some effort, but not another Ancient. Probably one of the reasons Shiphra got away. A pain ran through him at the thought of her being somewhere out there free of the worry he had on his shoulders.

Heisle was so tired of being scared, so tired of this life. Poor Finn, poor… all of them really, he thought, looking out at the crowd. At least Finn’s woes had ended. He feared theirs were just beginning.

A thought occurred to him as he was attempting to figure out the best way to erase what had just happened. Heisle could be free from them. No longer having to be silent, no longer having to serve a tyrant.

He collected his thoughts and tied a tether to each unique mind, connecting all to him. Heisle thought of the instant that the blast of energy collided into Finn. Heisle memorized the expression on the poor Healer’s face, the burning of his flesh, the fierce expression on Baal’s face. It felt strange to him when his dry

lips stretched up at the corners. He hadn’t smiled in such a very long time.

They won’t be able to reverse this. They won’t be able to pretend it didn’t happen. Not without doing something none of them are willing to do.

He drew in a deep breath, letting their individual scents roll into him. Heisle pulled in all of his energy, everything that he was, everything he had in him. Just before releasing it, he thought of Shiphra’s smiling face. With his guard down, all of the Ancients would be able to see what was coming, but it would be too late to stop him.

Bright bursts of energy were flying between Heisle and the stadium full of Healers. A thin cord of light linked them to him. Heisle twitched, and, like a heart monitor, light began to slowly beat down the strings. A slow steady pulse flew down hundreds of threads.

Heisle burned the images into the back of his eyelids and sent it down to them. Healers all around the room began to wake up in terror, women and men shouted in surprise and fury.

Delia moved forward, but Baal stopped her.

“He’s giving all for this spell. I already tried to stop him, but it would drain me of my life. There’s nothing we can do now.”

Heisle arched back unnaturally but managed to stay upright, standing only on the balls of his feet, his muscles locking up.

The beat of light accelerated Finn’s face, and Baal’s smirk.

With a loud snap, Heisle’s left arm folded up into his shoulder, followed by his right. The beat of light quickened still.

Heisle’s mouth tore open wide as if to scream, but no sound escaped. His skin dried up and pulled away from his open mouth. The pulsating quickened further. His once large form began shrinking, bones crumpling as if he were in a trash compacter. He coughed to clear his throat, and dust escaped from the place his lips should have been. The pulsing light bounced off the scrambling crowd, breaking all movement into a disjointed slideshow.

The unfortunate people in the large room cried as the images bore into their minds and imprinted themselves there. Heisle’s dry tongue inexplicably formed words that rose above the uproar and silenced the stampeding crowd.

“Shiphra!” He coughed up another cloud of dust that was highlighted by a beam of light. “Shiphra is still out there, and she fled for a reason.” The bright beams of energy ceased to be as Heisle’s broken body slowly shriveled into little more than a leathery ball.

* * *

Hours later the relatively calm, as well as the horribly outraged, had abandoned the arena save two large figures. Draining energies still filled the large space; pain, sadness, and uncertainty. Baal didn’t like being there. It made him feel weak at an incredibly vulnerable time. Delia looked at the ground and laughed at the crumpled raisin-like form of Heisle. Baal didn’t find it amusing in the least.

“Do you think those Healers will ever forget what we did to one of their own?” he asked.

Delia chuckled again. “Nope, they’ll never forget what you did to one of their own, and you’d probably die trying to take it from their minds, since Heisle gave his to put it there,” she said flatly.

Baal threw his sharp arms up in disbelief.

“Do you think there will be a revolt?” she asked him. Her voice was uncaring, as always.

“No. Healers make peace, not war.” Baal felt certain of this, but there was a hesitation to his words.

“Sometimes war brings about peace,” she countered. There was a smile in her voice.

“Do you truly not care about what is ahead of you or about anything?” he spat.

Baal was face to face with her. He remembered how she’d looked as a Healer, long flowing golden hair, thin waist, bright smile. Now she was a deformed creature, giant and sharp, like himself. All of her beauty had faded as she’d gained and retained power as his had. But he never missed his looks. He’d rather have the power.

“What is ahead, what is behind, it doesn’t matter. I have lived too long to care about anything that happens, but I’m glad for the change, a bit of excitement in the centuries of dullness. Did I ever tell you how happy I was when Shiphra fled?” she asked.

His anger boiled over, and she laughed.

He stifled his anger and spoke. “We are beacons of power mortals know not of. Does duty mean nothing to you?” he asked. Delia smiled a twisted smile, her sharp cheekbones becoming peaks. “It used to, but my sense of duty fled years ago, as did yours.”

Baal went to speak but had nothing to say.

“Duty means nothing to you. It’s power, energy, and control you hold dear. Otherwise, you’d care as little as I do about Amanda being free. Why is it so important? Because people disagreed with your decree and acted upon it, and it kills you.” She brushed a single long white hair out of her face delicately as if she cherished the remnants of this reminder of her old appearance. Then she continued. “Don’t worry. This is a mere bump in the road. You like ordering, and they seem to be okay with following. So, who cares?”

Baal let out a breath that he had been holding for some time. Delia’s words had soothed his troubled mind.

Delia looked back at the strange leather clump that had been Heisle and picked it up from the ground. She tossed Heisle casually back and forth in her gigantic hands like a basketball. She interrupted his calming breath, gleefully taking away the relief she’d brought to him. “Of course, things are going to be a heck of a lot bumpier around here if Amanda—”

Baal cut her off in a roar of anger as he looked at the ball that was Heisle and understood what she was going to say. “Don’t even think it! I forbid you.”

With that, Delia gently tossed Heisle into Baal’s cold hands and glided away coolly.

8

“Oh, please let Madgie be okay,” Amanda pleaded.

Each passing minute without Madgie was accompanied with a new and terrible possibility as to what could have happened to her, compliments of her over-worrisome mind. They’d been searching for hours with no sign of her… or Carter. She wondered if they had chosen the wrong direction. Maybe they were on the other side of the hill.

Hopefully, Cole was having more luck. She thought about going back, but something told her the valley was the right place to look. Amanda had pictured them here so clearly, and although she couldn’t see or feel them, she knew they were somewhere near. She pushed her way blindly through a thick group of bushes and caught her foot on something hard. With a chorus of breaking branches, she fell to the ground.

“Stupid rocks,” she grumbled.

Amanda was trying to untangle herself, quietly hoping that no one, friend or foe, had heard her fall. She managed to get herself into a kneeling position and began examining her scraped palms, her skin was raised up in an odd-looking welt that didn’t seem to have anything to do with the fall. She was trying to understand this new set of marks when she heard a branch snap in front of her. Her head jerked up. How close was that? Twenty- five yards, or less? Unable to see anything through all of the dense bamboo, she narrowed her eyes, squinting into the darkness. The white moon cast an eerie light onto the valley, seeming to wash away all color.

She didn’t move, didn’t breathe, straining her ears to hear something. The rustling of bushes, the snapping of a twig, but the only sound she heard was her own heart thudding loudly in her ears. She relaxed. There was nothing out there. If she jumped at every noise she heard, she’d be too busy jumping to find Madgie.

She just hadn’t been in the wilderness for a long while. Not since she’d stopped running…

Amanda’s attempt at calming thoughts was interrupted by the barely audible intake of a raspy breath.

Staring at where the sound had come from, she tried to ignore the fact that the noise didn’t sound human. She imagined two bright spheres glowing like embers three feet from the ground. Amanda couldn’t see the pair of eyes, but she could feel them. She felt the scream rise to her throat but choked it back.

She drew up her strength and found she didn’t have much.

Her fear was too great, and the poison in her veins seemed to thrive on it. Amanda glanced at her outstretched hands and saw the marks begin to darken and spread, feathering out like an ink well spilling on white paper. Her core lashed out at the migrating disease, her soul feebly attempting to keep the darkness from overcoming her entire being. The inner fight tore away the last of her strength, and she slowly fell to her side, collapsing in pain. Amanda’s delicate face impacted the rough, unforgiving terrain.

A trail of black tainted blood poured out of her torn cheek and ran into the darkness. She didn’t feel her cheek split open or the sharp rock that had pierced her thigh. Amanda didn’t even feel the rush of air escape her lips in a cry of agony. She could only feel the poison tearing at her being and the desire that it would just take her, wishing she could just cease to be.

“If this is payment for running, I was never running from you. I just couldn’t handle their pain, it was…”

Through the fog of agony, Amanda felt more than heard padded footsteps. She opened her eyes slowly. Her vision came in and out of focus, bringing her dark blood into clear view, then the opening in front of her. She saw the convex trail of gore still flowing, the earth refusing to absorb it, then the clearing and the movement. A tall wisp of bamboo lazily leaned four inches to the right, and her unnatural lifeblood continued on its way.

“Come on, eyes!” She tried to refocus on the distant outline of the grove, and a new sound sprang up behind her, a swift chiming-like wind through a field of grass. Then the noise was in front of her again.

They were circling her like vultures. She hoped Cole had found Madgie and gotten out of there. The clearing came back into focus, and shimmering moonlight danced off the silver fur of a large wolf. The animal was far too large to be a normal wolf. The creature had been touched by magic in some way. Amanda could see the power and energy flowing from the beast. She’d never witnessed anything like it. She had no strength left in her to fight, but instinct told her to soak up the energy crashing out of the wolf. She wondered at the strange urge but tried it.

She closed her eyes and breathed the animal’s energy into her body, and she was swept away. Amanda felt hair blowing around her face and, through another’s eyes, witnessed rocky terrain flying underfoot faster than a person’s legs should have allowed. Cool, fresh air was pumping in and out of her lungs, cleansing both body and mind.

Fear rippled away replaced by exhilaration. Her spirit walled the poison back into its dam, and her energy returned to her as the pain ebbed. Amanda’s hand went to her cheek as the gaping wound that had been there closed up. She hadn’t ever felt the way she did in that moment and struggled to find the words to describe it. After some thought, she knew what it was. Freedom. She felt free.

Her thoughts calmed from a raging river to a clear pool, and she was able to deduce that she and the wolf had become one for a brief moment. Amanda opened her eyes and surprisingly felt stronger than she had in days. She sat up and looked at the wolf, not sure what to make of the creature. Did it help her, or had she just helped herself by stealing its seemingly endless energy supply? Her head turned sharply as the telltale sound of moving branches called out in the distance. Immediately the animal’s silver fur stood on end, changing from the silkiest of surfaces to a mountain of quills. Whatever this was, it was no friend to her.

Amanda let out a shriek, not caring who heard it, as the wolf took on the familiar low crouch of a predator seeking prey. The crazed animal wound its way toward her, baring its teeth as an unearthly growl rattled out of the depths of its belly. She sprang to life, her still-injured thigh slowing her as she attempted to put space between her and the demented wolf. Moving backward in an awkward crab walk, she scraped her hands on unapologetic rocks that peaked just above the soil. The wolf’s ears twitched up instinctively as more rustling branches made an unnamed presence known. At the sound of rushing steps less than twenty yards away, the wolf called out predatorily. Seeing the spray of saliva rush out as it sounded brought her attention to the animal’s large porcelain teeth. They glistened white in the moonlight, pure, beautiful, and frightening. She decided on the spot that the unknown was easier to face than what was in front of her.

She pushed herself her feet, wobbling a bit before bolting into the thick welcoming cover of the valley floor. She flew over obstacles as fast as she was able. Amanda still felt a presence near, but she was too frightened to search for her hungry pursuer or keep the torrent of passing branches from striking her face.

She gathered the courage to glance behind her, pushing images of the great silver wolf overcoming her, teeth wide, out of her mind, and there was nothing but the path of destruction her flight had caused in the undergrowth. She was about to slow when she saw a flash of silver in her peripheral vision. Amanda doubled her stride.

The wolf was keeping pace with her, running just to her right. A thin fence of branches and leaves was the only thing separating them. It was darker in the brush, like the moonlight had found this place uninteresting and chose to pass it over. The darkness made a chilling scene, but more than the dark, the silence frightened her. If she hadn’t seen the unique silver sheen of the wolf passing through the gaps in the limbs as headlights pass through windows at night, she’d never have guessed that the large animal was tearing through the woods right next to her. How could it move so quietly? She watched as the wolf’s unbelievably large paw met the earth with barely a sound. She quickly changed her course and veered off to the left, attempting to cut a path, with nature’s tangled hands scratching at her flailing arms as she passed. After a few paces, she glanced around and saw no sign of the creature, which frightened her more than having it on her heels.

With no sign of the wolf, she started to find Cole. She tried to return to where they’d decided to divide and conquer, but found herself so turned around she had no idea which direction to point herself in. Amanda needed to find him, to know he was all right. As she searched, her fear turned every other rock and bush into the shadow of something sinister. She felt ridiculous running around frightened by trees.

Amanda calmed herself and sat on a large rock. Looking at the dark alcove before her, she knew she wasn’t going the right way. She didn’t want to waste any energy, but if she was going to find Cole, she’d need to seek him out a different way. She concentrated on him, recalling the feeling his presence always had. Light, kind, loving, and simple.

That was one of the things she enjoyed most about him, his simplicity. Most people were so complex with a thousand different cords attached to one truth. Healers especially seemed to overcomplicate things, but Cole didn’t need a thousand strings. If something felt right, it was right. If a situation felt wrong, it was wrong. If he wanted anything he pursued it, no games or charades. Just him.

As she brought his image to the forefront of her mind, a shiver rippled through her body that had nothing to do with attraction. Cole was running swiftly through the valley floor, apparently oblivious to the fact that he was being closely followed. She was seeing Cole through another’s eyes. Amanda had seen through these eyes before, the large cautious eyes of a beast.

“Cole!” she cried out, not caring if Carter or the Ancients heard her now. She needed to find Cole before the strange predator decided it was done giving chase and ready for the kill.

9

A lonely twinleaf blossom stood tall, awake, though its brothers had closed into dreams hours earlier. The aforementioned was looking up at the small strip of sky that was so familiar. Its short life span was full of late nights; unable to rest, so enthralled by the flaming specks of light that came out after the day had ended. It would never know how far the sky stretched, because the valley walls allowed only this little glimpse. The protection of these walls had provided safety for this little flower to grow strong. Unfortunately, the walls didn’t protect the flower this night. As the flower stood, face toward the sky, refusing to succumb to the call of sleep, Amanda crashed through the foliage, her sneaker putting the little stargazer to rest. Permanently.

“Cole!” she screamed out frantically.

Amanda heard nothing but her heaving breath. The silence frightened her, and she abandoned the little stealth left in her movement. Caution to the wind, she flew over the terrain, leaping over obstacles and landing lightly. She’d never moved this way. Amanda felt as light as the air moving all around her, and she noticed for the first time that the air was actually moving. She studied it as she ran, completely enthralled and confused.

The atmosphere was a habitat of its own, teaming with unnoticed lives; pollen, dust, and microscopic creatures twirled within the light breeze. She attempted to blink away the scene in front of her, but when she peeled her eyes open, they were still there. Her already large eyes grew wide in shock. She gave it another try, shutting her eyes tighter this time, face scrunching in the process.

“Please be gone, please be gone.”

The little specks didn’t notice the worry in her eyes as they shot open and beheld the once hidden world still bustling around her, but she noticed them. Amanda reached her hand across the space between her and the nearest one, her hand ghostly in the night and touched the tiny thing. As her extended finger made contact, she felt the life of the speck. It was a bit of pollen from a flower. As the energy flowed into her, she knew she wasn’t crazy. They’re real, she thought, feeling both relieved and confused but shrugging it off to adrenaline. Crisis situations can cause ultra- sensitivity. She’d heard that before. Did she think life with demon poison running through her veins would be normal? Of course, strange things are happening. That’s kind of what she was now, a strange thing.

She continued through the bushes, attempting to ignore the tiny little lives so numerous that they were hard to disregard. “Cole! Where are you?” Amanda cried out and strained her ears to listen. She heard nothing now, not her breath or even the sound of her own footfall. “What’s happening?” She listened again as the ball of her foot contacted the dry earth, and not a sound escaped. Fire burned at her chest and she sucked in the breath she’d been unconsciously holding to prevent inhalation of the little dancing shapes suspended in the air. She repressed the fear that scratched at her, knowing she couldn’t allow it to enter her frail body.

The hazardous obstacles of the forest didn’t seem to affect her speed as they should have, but before she could think too much about that, she felt Cole’s presence near her.

“Cole!” she shouted, but choking on worry, his name came out only a broken whisper.

She closed her eyes and let his presence draw her in like a magnet. Amanda would have felt relief at his nearing if she didn’t feel the overwhelming presence of the mysterious wolf so near him. She ran through foliage, not caring enough about the painful scrapes that the branches left behind because all that mattered to her in that moment was Cole.

Amanda smashed her way through an overgrown rose bush and ran head first into a meaty wall. Her breath came out in a rush, as if her lungs didn’t want the air. Her knees gave out as she tried to collect the wind that had been knocked out of her. She wondered why she hadn’t hit the ground, before feeling the warmth of Cole’s arms around her waist. Amanda opened her eyes, and Cole smiled down at her.

“You had me worried. I thought an army of gorillas was attacking you with all of the screaming going on. I did tell you this was a stealth mission, right? By stealth, I meant no noise, and that is pretty much the exact opposite of what you’ve been doing,” Cole jibed. He tenderly moved the hair out of her eyes and gazed into them though she didn’t know why he would want to.

She remembered what those eyes looked like when she’d seen her reflection in the great wolf’s glassy stare. “The wolf!” she gasped, still out of breath.

Amanda jumped out of Cole’s arms and put herself in front of him protectively. Spinning around quickly, she dropped into a crouched position. She was face to face with the great beast. The animal’s large eyes gazed at her curiously. Like the last time she’d met the animal, she felt at peace.

It has to be some trick. Calm its prey into submission, before making it dinner.

Even as she thought the words, the animal shook its large head back and forth, sending silvery fur into a dance. It was like no other wolf she’d seen. Perhaps it wasn’t like an earthily predator out for a midnight snack. Maybe it was something else entirely. Cole put a hand on her tense shoulder and spoke.

“Amanda, what…”

She waved him silent. “Did the Ancients send you?” she asked.

Again, the wolf looked at her inquisitively. He wasn’t looking at her, but gazing in her knowingly. At that moment, she’d never felt closer to another being. He was a part of her, an extension of her. She saw the wolf’s spirit, and it was the oldest she’d ever seen, older than the Ancients even. Its light melted into her pores like falling rain on dry skin. She felt whole, and in that

moment of temporary bliss, she was pulled back to reality by Cole’s urgent voice.

“Amanda, Amanda, what is happening? What are you staring at?” he asked.

She took a second to process the question. Then she glanced back at the wolf, her wolf, or she thought of him that way for a reason she couldn’t understand. The wolf’s ears were erect, and he stood taller than her shoulder, lighting the forest like the noon sun.

“Amanda?” Cole smoothed her face with his rough hand.

“Are you all right? What’s going on?” he asked.

She watched as her wolf’s fur was tussled by the same breeze that Cole’s loose curls swayed in. Amanda was about to speak, telling him about the wolf that was before them. ‘Can’t you see the shimmering, horse-sized wolf’… but she thought better of it. She didn’t think she was crazy. Amanda knew he was there but didn’t want to frighten Cole. He was dealing with enough right now. He didn’t need to worry about throwing her in a makeshift straight jacket.

Amanda glanced at the wolf one more time just to make sure he was really there. His furry lips twitched into what could only be described as a smile. She shrugged her shoulders, still perplexed as to why Cole couldn’t see him or feel him. Her wolf’s presence was about as subtle as being hit by a train.

“Nothing, I’m just in shock. I couldn’t find you, and I got scared… which is not the best emotion for me to feel right now.”

Cole hugged her closer to him. “Why do you say that?”

She remembered the feeling of the darkness within her spreading like fire through her body and shuddered. “I don’t know if I can explain it right… it’s like the demon’s poison feeds on my fear. I can feel the poison spread and my spirit weaken when I am afraid.”

He looked at her with worried eyes like she might turn into a dandelion puff and float away on the breeze. “Don’t worry. I’m here, and you don’t need to be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you, ever.” He paused. “Let’s stay together, Amanda. I don’t think ‘divide and conquer’ was the best idea you’ve ever had,” he said, looking at her with concern. “I think we should stay here tonight. We aren’t going to find anything but injuries in that darkness.”

She made a face, wanting to argue. They had to find Madgie, but she didn’t feel like she should argue with him when he was so worried. Cole busied himself throwing together a shelter that would hide them and help keep them warm. He’d said a fire was a bad idea with Carter out in the forest. It would give away their position for miles away. When he was finished, she was amazed with what he’d constructed.

He’d woven long bamboo shoots into a small dome that was just large enough for both of them to squeeze into. After the shelter took form, he left and came back with an armful of wild roses. She was curious about why they needed roses and wondered off-hand if it was an ill-timed romantic gesture. She was going to ask him, but he’d started weaving them carefully throughout the shelter before she could form the question.

“Wow, it’s starting to look just like the rose bushes scattered throughout the forest.”

Amanda walked over to the pile of roses and picked one up. She studied the flower. It seemed so fragile compared to the roses she was used to seeing. The flower had just two layers of thin petals with a small yellow ball of pollen at its center. How can two things sharing the same name be so very different? she wondered. She was looking for the best place to weave it when a thorn stuck her thumb.

“Ouch!”

Cole laughed and gently took her hand. “I think you’ll live through this one,” he said, caressing her. Cole turned her hand over and traced her palms. His brow crinkled together as he noticed the strange pattern that rose on her skin. “What’s this?”

She looked down. There was an elaborate design pressed into her skin. It was too faint to make out all of the detail, yet for some reason she knew the pattern. She’d seen it before. “I don’t know. It must have something to do with the…” She didn’t know what to call what had happened to her, so she went with the easiest. “Incident. I noticed it a few minutes before I found you.”

“There’s so much we don’t know,” he said, dropping her hand and going back to work. Cole stuck the last of the roses in place, and she was shocked at how well the dome blended into their surroundings.

“Wow! That’s pretty amazing, you know?”

“Well, I just hope it does us some good. Come on, let’s get some rest. We’ll pick our search back up in the morning.”

She crawled through the small opening and was astonished at how roomy it felt once she was inside.

Cole came in after her and threw himself on his back. “I wish there was someone to talk to about all of this with. I feel like I’m of no use to you. I have no idea what’s going on. I don’t even know what happened to you.”

“Look at what you’ve already done,” she said, gesturing around them at the intricate dome. “I’d still be out there tripping over blades of grass. You’ve been so much help for me already. I’m just sorry for the trouble I’ve gotten you in to.”

“Don’t feel bad. I’ve wanted to leave the Hovel since the day that they took me,” Cole said.

“Really? I thought I was the only one who wanted to leave. I mean, we aren’t supposed to want to leave. It’s our duty to be there and serve, right?” Amanda asked in a rush.

“Of course you aren’t the only one who wanted to leave. I was snatched away in the night, taken from my family when I was ten years old,” he said angrily. “They say it’s for the greater good, and they say it’s our duty, but that doesn’t mean they can do what they did to us. The Dredging, it’s kidnapping. A Scar hadn’t even taken me yet,” he shouted. “I had two brothers. Did I ever tell you that? One older and one younger, we were so close…” he trailed off.

She was surprised. He’d never told her he had siblings. She knew he had a family, but he never talked about it much. He had it so much harder than I did. I didn’t have anything to leave behind.

“I’m so sorry, Cole,” Amanda said, leaning into him.

She wasn’t good at physical contact, but she had to be near him. Amanda couldn’t stand the pain he’d been through in his life. It wasn’t right. He was too good to suffer. He wasn’t like her.

“Don’t apologize,” he said, drawing her into his arms.

She went rigid, but allowed him to pull her in. “Is this okay?” he asked, squeezing her.

She wanted to tell him just how ‘okay’ it was but was too shocked by the thoughts running through her mind. Amanda tried to remember if she’d ever daydreamed about lying wrapped in someone’s arms and supposed she had, but her daydreams had been way off. Amanda had dreamed it would be calm and somewhat peaceful. This was, if anything, the complete opposite of peaceful.

She was hyper-aware in a way that she’d never experienced, and her heart hammered in her chest as if she’d just run a mile. Just feeling Cole’s warm chest move up and down with each breath sent shivers through her that weren’t entirely unpleasant. She guessed he was feeling it too because she felt his body still, as if he was afraid to move. Then he rolled to his back, taking his arm to his side, leaving her feeling like the sun had been shot out of the sky.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She realized she hadn’t answered his question and spoke up a little too fast. “No, no, it’s fine. Go ahead and snuggle up. It’s cold tonight anyway.”

He didn’t hesitate at all, moving as quickly as a kid on Christmas. He threw his arm back around her, and the same electricity returned.

“I’m just no good at this,” she said quietly.

Amanda rolled to her other side so that they were face to face. The muscles in his arm tightened in surprise but stayed firmly around her waist. She was going to continue talking, but he took her breath away. His large chocolate eyes were so bright and full of excitement. She had to look down before she could speak.

“I haven’t, you know, ever been touched a lot. Growing up I didn’t have parents who hugged me or a grandma who gave me kisses. The only thing I knew was the orphanage, which wasn’t all that bad… until I had what they thought was a mental episode. After that it was Burberry Psychiatric Institution and doctor after doctor, pill after pill, telling me everything I saw and felt from these spirits was just in my mind.”

“I wonder why Scars started finding you so young. That must have been so terrible,” he said, holding her tight.

“I’ve always wondered… but the crazy house wasn’t that bad. There was no doubt in my mind I was crazy. That wasn’t hard to deal with. I just wanted their pills to stop what I thought were hallucinations. The Dredging was much worse. I was sitting alone in my room when the bars fell off the window and the glass slid up slowly. Two cloaked strangers crawled into the opening and said you’re a Healer, come with us… well, you know how the Dredging was.”

“Can I ask you about something, Amanda?”

She wasn’t positive she wanted to say yes, he sounded so hesitant. “Yes,” she said nervously, wondering what he could want to know.

He took a deep breath. “When you left, when you ran away from the Hovel, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you take me with you?”

They lay in silence for a few moments while she tried to think of what to say. She couldn’t believe he would’ve come with her. It was a thought that had never crossed her mind

“I… I didn’t know you would have come with me,” she stuttered.

He pulled away and looked at her face as if she’d slapped him. “You can’t mean that! All we’d after the Dredging was each other. How could you not think of me?” his voice wavered.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Never meant to hurt me? What did you think it would do when you left me? How was I supposed to feel?” he asked, his eyes pleading.

“Cole, I was a thirteen-year-old girl feeling unbelievably guilty for wanting to run. I wanted more than anything to tell you, but this voice in the back of my head kept telling me you’d be disgusted with me.”

Cole opened his mouth as if to protest, and Amanda put a finger to his soft lips to silence him.

“I was ashamed and, like a coward, couldn’t bring myself to face you. I was running from the very thing that I was born to be, that you were born to be. How could I face you?” she asked, turning away from him.

They were silent for a long time, until he put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that conversation to go like that. I’ve just wanted to ask you that question ever since you came walking back into the Hovel,” he said apologetically. “When you came back, I didn’t know how to feel. You left me there, like what we had never even mattered to you. Do you know what they did to me?”

He paused, looking torn. “I wanted to be mad at you. Even tried to make myself hate you.”

Amanda sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry.

“But when you looked up at me, all of the pain and anger evaporated. Even after two years, I couldn’t stop my heart from swelling at the sight of you.”

She turned back to face him. His eyes were moist, but he kept his tears held back.

“I never stopped thinking about you, Cole,” she said, putting a hand to his cheek. “Your smiling face got me to sleep every night. you kept me sane.”

“I guess we both went through some stuff those two years.”

She took his hand off her shoulder and held it tight. “Let’s get some shut eye. We’ll need our strength tomorrow.”

Amanda rested her head on his arm but never did doze off. She could hear Cole next to her murmuring spells of protection throughout the night. Even after all she’d put him through, he’d still risked everything to help her.

* * *

Amanda finally gave up on pretending to sleep when the first sign of dawn pierced through the foliage. She found that even with no rest it was a rush to wake up next to Cole.

He smiled at her with tired eyes.

“Okay, let’s find Madgie!” she said excitedly. After such an amazing night, she felt a little guilty about where the old woman could be, probably not snuggled in the arms of a handsome young man. She moved to get out of the makeshift tent when Cole spun her toward him. He had a look of apprehension before he spoke.

“Listen, I don’t want to talk like this… but if we don’t find Madgie, what’s our next step?”

Amanda remembered Madgie’s counseling about where she should go after she escaped the Hovel. “She told me I had to find someone, an Ancient named Shiphra. Madgie said this woman is the only one who can hide me from the Ancients and the only one with the knowledge and the power to find Kaedin.”

Cole looked taken back. “Who’s Kaedin?”

Amanda took in a deep breath. She didn’t know if she had the strength to talk about the child whose face hadn’t left her mind, the little girl who was stronger and braver than any person she’d known, the spirit she’d doomed.

“Kaedin is the reason we’re out here. I was in her Scar when this happened.” She gestured to herself and took a breath. “I left her there with that thing. If I don’t find her soon, she’ll fade, and it will be my fault. Kaedin found a Healer. She should have been freed from her terrible prison, but because it was me, she’s still there.”

Amanda didn’t realize she was crying until warmth from the tears stung her cold skin. She looked up at Cole’s face and saw the worry in his dark eyes. Amanda knew he wouldn’t like it. He’d rather find some way to help her than find a rebel Ancient that might have the ability to find a specific Scar, which was unlikely. How could she tell him finding and helping Kaedin was something she had to do, without hurting him? He gave up his peaceful life at the Hovel to help her, to be with her, not go on a wild goose chase.

She reached for his warm hand and placed it between both of her cool ones. “Don’t worry. We’ll think about the future when it gets here.”

“Then it’s no longer the future, it’s the present. Shouldn’t we make some sort of plan if we’re going to be hunted down by the world’s most powerful beings?” he said bluntly.

She knew they needed a plan, but not more than they needed to find Madgie and ask her what to do.

“Wait! It’s Madgie!” she said in an excited whisper.

He kept his warm fingers tightly wound with hers and closed his eyes. “This way?” He pointed, and she nodded slightly, afraid to speak because if they could feel Madgie she could feel them and so could the other Healer near them. “Carter,” he murmured.

They began to slowly close the distance between them and the others. Cole kept her behind him as he muttered spells of invisibility and stealth. She’d never used stealth spells, and they were disorienting, even to her. One of them was an echo spell that threw their spiritual signatures out all around them. Up and down, left and right. First, she felt them somewhere on a rocky ledge. Then they were crouching in the forest of bamboo shoots, but they never left the straight path that he had them on. They were everywhere.

It was making her dizzy, and she knew where they stood.

She couldn’t imagine that anyone would be able to pinpoint their exact location. Amanda didn’t question Cole. She knew where he was going. He was taking the quickest path to Madgie. She knew this because she could feel Madgie the same as he did. Her spirit felt muffled like a shout from under a pillow. They were out in the open now, nearing the middle of a clearing. I don’t like this.

“Something is wrong here.”

As she said the words, a cold vise tightened around her ankle, but when she glanced down there was nothing. Amanda attempted to fight the unseen force but lost her footing and fell awkwardly to the ground. Cole turned to look at her, losing his focus. Their echo spell failed for one millisecond, and she felt the sharp sting of an energy sphere rip the flesh from her shoulder. Amanda cried out in pain, unable to stifle it.

Cole was at her side gently catching her slumping body.

“Please no. Amanda, are you all right? Talk to me.” His words sounded like marbles shaking in a jar, and she couldn’t feel his touch.

She was going into shock but managed to choke out one word, a warning to Cole. He shouldn’t be coddling her. He should be running from…

“Carter,” she whispered.

Cole pulled out of his shocked state quickly enough to block the next dark spell hurled at her. It erupted in a cloud of smoke inches from her face.

That would have killed me, she thought groggily. He just saved my life.

She looked up at Cole, expecting to see the relief she felt, but there was something else there. A look she’d never seen on his face before. Hatred. He took his cloak off in one fluid motion and put it on top of her shaking body.

Jumping to his feet, he shouted into the darkness. “Carter!”

A cackle of laughter erupted at the edge of the clearing, and a dark cloaked figure stepped into view. “You’ve always been passionate, Cole, but in this case…” He gestured to the ground where Amanda lay, clutching her shoulder and chattering her teeth. “As in all others, you must detach emotion. You and I had the same training. You should know better. Feelings have nothing to do with the fact that she’s tainted, and the Ancients have put death upon her. Why fight it?”

She tried to speak through the involuntary spasms of pain rippling through her body. “Madgie?”

Carter tilted his head to address her, and Cole protectively put himself between the two. The shadowy figure smirked at the gesture as he spoke. “I’m surprised you don’t know where she is. After all, you two were always so attached.” Carter snapped his fingers, and the grip on her tightened. She looked down and saw what held her was no longer invisible, and it wasn’t a metal vise or cuff as she had thought, though it was just as cold as ever.

Madgie’s hand held her tightly in a death grip. Her friend’s body appeared lifeless, stiff and unmoving. Amada heard sobs tear through the sky, her own, but quickly reined them back. She still felt Madgie’s spirit. She was alive, just under some kind of binding spell. Madgie’s face showed nothing but pain. Cole’s anger spread to her, and she no longer felt the sting of her shoulder. She only felt hatred for Carter.

“Madgie did nothing wrong! Release her,” Amanda shouted over the field, causing the tall meadow grass to sway.

Carter looked confused as he watched the grass, but only for a moment. “I’ve been ordered to bring all of you back, dead or alive. So be happy that she’s among the living. I wasn’t sure I could take her alive. Old bat put up quite a fight.”

In his nonchalance, Amanda had almost forgotten they were in the middle of a fire fight, until she saw another dark smoke cloud erupt against Cole’s shield. She could only focus on her rage and nothing else, anger at Carter was the only thing keeping her conscious.

“If you try to hurt her again, I’ll kill you,” Cole said calmly.

“Really? I didn’t think you liked using anything but defensive spells. I don’t seem to remember you having an interest in combat training.”

Carter was trying to distract again. She could see the gears in his head turning and feel the slight pull of energy he was taking from the plants around him. If he was stealing energy from an outside source, Cole’s shield wouldn’t be able to hold, not with just his energy.

She tried to add to the shield, but was still too weak. “He’s pulling,” she warned.

Cole took a deep breath. “I know. Just stay behind me.”

Again and again she threw up a shield that wouldn’t stick. She looked across the field and watched as the plant life around their adversary’s feet wilted, the leaves turning brown and falling slowly to the dirt. At first, it was just an inch perimeter around Carter’s feet, then two, and before Amanda could blink, half of the lush green meadow was an ill-looking orange brown. She closed her eyes, focusing on the shield.

It locked into place firmly in front of them. Her face stretched into a smile. She looked up at Cole, who returned her surprised grin. She took in a breath and felt power, not air, fill her lungs. She gulped in another and felt the tingling sensation of pins and needles work its way across her shoulder. When she opened her eyes, she not only saw her restored flesh, she also took in the bright light of her wolf.

He towered over her with his silver fur on end. He bent down to Madgie and slowly touched the tip of his nose to her cheek. Then he looked back up to her, nodding, gesturing for her to touch her friend’s cheek too. Amanda didn’t understand how she knew it, but she did. She quickly touched Madgie’s cheek, which immediately flushed back to the rose color that was always perched there. Madgie fluttered to life and sprang to Cole’s side in one fluid movement, her eyes locking on Carter.

Amanda slowly stood up and joined her friends. Carter took a step back, recalculating his odds now that it was three to one, the gathered energy fleeing with his concentration. She exhaled in a sigh of relief.

“What, you don’t want to fight anymore? Or is it that you only attack unconscious or injured women?” Cole said.

Carter acted as if he hadn’t spoken. “How did you do that?” Carter demanded, pointing between her and Madgie. They didn’t take their eyes off Carter, but she could sense that they were interested in the answer too.

Amanda felt a huff of warm breath on her arm as her great wolf stepped closer. She puzzled over how they couldn’t see him, but shrugged her shoulders and planted her feet.

“I don’t answer to you Carter,” she said in a strong voice.

Carter rolled his head from side to side and righted himself into a battle stance, and she spoke quickly. “We have no reason to fight each other. Even if you agree with the Ancients, let them come and fight if they want to. But you don’t need to get hurt over this, just turn and go back home.”

Carter smiled at her. “Have you started calling the Hovel home? The place that you ran from for years? What changed, I wonder?” He glanced at Cole with hateful eyes. “Oh, a little romance? Now I understand why you so readily left.” He lifted his chin at Cole. “Just bring her back to the Hovel when you’re done having your fun,” he said with a flick of his wrist.

“Enough of this!” Cole shouted. “I believe in choices, and you have one to make. You could choose to turn and leave now or… well, that’s the only choice that doesn’t end with you in a lot of pain. Quite a simple decision for anyone to make, even someone with as small an intellect as you.” He paused. “So what’s it going to be?”

The field fell silent with everyone standing still, waiting for Carter’s answer. Amanda’s heart dropped as Carter let out a battle cry and sprinted across the field. Cole murmured something under his breath before breaking into a run himself. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought it sounded like, “I’d hoped so.”

10

Amanda tried to move her feet, but they wouldn’t obey her. She was frozen in place, watching Cole running at Carter, who had an energy ball black as an oil slick in his hand. The darkness in her rose up, threatening to break her down. First, her hearing went, then her vision began to blur, but the wolf rubbed his muzzle against her back, and she was herself again. The sounds of the battle rang out all around her, and she screamed, caught off guard by their sudden noise. Carter’s face was wild with madness as he threw spells of destruction at Cole, one after another. Madgie had positioned herself between Amanda and the fight.

“Madgie, stop! I don’t need help, Cole does,” she shouted. Everything in her was screaming for unconsciousness. She couldn’t see him in danger. It was too much to bear. As her mind tried to swirl into its cocoon of safety, she fought the urge with all that she had. Amanda shook her head furiously and turned to Madgie, who looked at her with every bit of concern a mother would have.

“Madgie didn’t you hear me? Cole needs help!” she turned to run into the field, but Madgie grabbed her arm.

“Sorry S-B, you’re too weak to fight, and besides, you’ve had no combat training. Only men have that.”

Amanda turned to her and spoke quickly. “I’m not too weak. My entire life I have been, but I don’t want that, not anymore. Battle training or not, it doesn’t matter. Look around us, we are in a war zone, Madgie!” Amanda said and turned sprinting into the clearing and the fight with her wolf close on her heels.

Cole was amazingly quick and fierce in battle. Carter’s clothes were in tatters and his nose bloodied, while Cole stood straight and unharmed. It was strange for her to think of him as a warrior, but that was what he looked like to her at that moment, blocking Carter’s onslaught and throwing spells of his own.

Amanda blocked a spell thrown at her from across the field and stood surprised. She hadn’t even felt him build it up. Her wolf’s fur rose up on end, and a low rumble escaped his mouth. Carter was tired and broken down, making his moves more erratic and harder to block. Cole looked cool and confident, but she was still worried about him. Carter was more frightful to her now with his face contorted into a strange mask that was so different from his usually cocky one.

Amanda stopped running once she got to the opposite side of the field. She didn’t like being so far from Cole but knew this was strategically better. Now they could attack from the front and the back. She felt the world around her, searching for more energy and a way to fight. Her great silver companion was giving her a limitless supply of energy, but she didn’t know any offensive spells. He looked at her with questioning eyes, but she had no answer to give him. Her confidence level was dropping. She didn’t know what she could do to help. The only thing she’d truly mastered was shields.

An idea occurred to her and she smiled. Crouched down and ready, she waited for the opportunity to strike. Carter looked over his shoulder and saw her behind him. He quickly threw out a barrage of attacks at Cole and spun toward her.

Cole, busy blocking the torrent spells, could do nothing but call out, “Amanda!”

Carter gathered up his remaining energy, and in his hand appeared a dark ball of smoke. He cradled it in his palm, delicate as a baby bird. Then he met her eyes, and with a look of disgust, he drew his arm back.

Just as he released the spell, she threw up a shield, not in front of her but directly in front of him. The dark energy exploded off the shield and ricocheted back into his face with violent speed. All was silent, or at least she perceived it that way, save one noise.

A guttural scream tore through the clearing, raising the hairs on the back of her neck. She couldn’t see anything through the grey fog that surrounded Carter. Cole began to cautiously cross the space between him and the swirling cloud. She fought back the urge to throw up as his screaming died into a bubbling gurgle.

What have I done?

Cole had almost reached the strange mist that seemed alive. It didn’t sway and move with the wind as it should have, dancing and moving as it desired. She choked back the rising vomit and guilt. She couldn’t let him go in alone. Without a second thought, she darted across the dry dying field.

As she neared it, the fog became darker. Her wolf ran in front of her, blocking her path, but she moved around him. She paused before the wall of haze. It looked so solid she wasn’t even sure she could step into it. Amanda was scared of the first step but was so desperate to find Carter alive she closed her eyes and plunged in. She felt a kiss of cool moisture on her face as she crossed the barrier. Amanda had a million thoughts reeling through her brain. She never thought she would kill someone. She was surrounded by the dark mist now. The smoke smelled sickly sweet, and it hung on her like a wet blanket.

“Amanda!” Cole screamed from the other side. “Get back! Get out of there!”

She was startled and tried to back out, but it seemed to follow her. Not finding a way out, she searched for her wolf, but he was nowhere near. Breathing in the fumes left her with a syrupy residue on her tongue that made her choke. Her hands began to sting and she looked down at them. They were beet red. She didn’t know what was happening, but she knew that it wasn’t good.

“Murderer,” a haunting voice gurgled.

“What?” she shouted. Her eyes were stinging so badly that tears were streaming down her face, making it impossible to see where the chilling voice had come from.

“You did this to me…”

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as the last coughing turned into a bubbling sputter. “Cole, help!” she cried.

Amanda attempted to shout for him again but began hacking violently. She tripped over something and fell hard but continued moving on her hands and knees, attempting to find the exit. Salty tears ran down her cheeks like a river, stinging her already burning flesh. Just as her fingers made contact with something that felt like gelatin, a strong thin hand pulled her back to her feet.

“S-B! Don’t breathe or speak, you’ll be out in a second.”

Amanda had never been happier to hear Madgie’s voice, though she was wishing Madgie wouldn’t hold her so tightly. Her skin felt like the worst sunburn imaginable.

“Amanda!” Cole exclaimed in worry when he found the two in the smoke.

“Don’t worry. She’s fine. She is probably in a lot of pain but…” Madgie said.

Amanda wanted to say, “Ya think?” but obeyed her orders. They never stopped their brisk almost running pace as Cole and Madgie talked.

“Well, get her out of here as quick as you can. I’ll keep scanning for him,” Cole said.

It was silent for a good while, and her lungs were on fire by the time Madgie gave her the okay to breathe again. When she took in the first gulp of fresh air, her head began to clear.

“Are you and Cole all right?” Amanda asked in a rushed breath, her eyes still closed.

“Don’t worry. We’re fine. He was searching for you in there same as me, but we had the forethought to use protective spells before running into a cloud of acid,” Madgie said.

Amanda’s brain stopped working for a second. “A cloud of acid!” she replied.

Madgie had her hands above Amanda, going over her body with healing and pain relief spells. “Yes. That was quite a nasty spell. I haven’t ever seen anything like it. It kills me that he knew a spell like that.” She paused. “Why would they teach such things at the Hovel? I mean, I’ve heard whisperings of what they did to the Guard, but still…”

Madgie was there in body, but her mind seemed a thousand miles away. Probably puzzling on all of the locked doors in the Hovel, all of the places that she, as a woman, had never been granted permission to enter. And all of the dark gossip that she hoped wasn’t true.

“Madgie?”

“Yes, child?” Madgie replied.

Amanda was terrified to ask the question, but it tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop it. “Is Carter alive?” she asked, thinking of the terrible voice calling out to her in the smoke. A moment went by then another. She peeled her eyes open to look up at her friend. “Madgie?” The old woman’s face was distraught, and she knew the answer.

Madgie took in a deep breath. “I don’t see how he could be. Look at you.” She gestured to Amanda’s clothes that had holes eaten through them. “And that was after it had dissipated. “S-B, if he’s dead, it isn’t your fault. It’s not like he was throwing a cupcake at you. You just made his actions literally blow up in his face. He’s the one who chose that awful dark spell, not you.”

She didn’t want to argue with poor Madgie.

Cole came walking out of the fumes a few moments later.

Amanda was relieved to see him until she took in the ghostly white face and dark red slime dripping from his hands. She sprang to her feet a little too fast and wobbled out of balance as she ran to him.

“What happened? are you hurt?” She went to touch him and he took a step back.

“Just give me a second,” he said in a rush. Cole took a breath and exhaled in a terrible sigh of pain.

“What is it, Cole? How can I help you?” she begged.

He knelt down on the ground and held his hand out to her.

It still dripped with the unknown goop. “I found Carter…” he said and looked down at Amanda’s hand. She followed his gaze. She had the same strange jelly on the tips of her fingers. “And so did you.” Her body convulsed with retching before her mind understood why.

* * *

She was wrapped up in Cole’s thick wool cloak, one of the few things that had escaped the acid. Her hair was still wet, and it made her shiver. Madgie had insisted that they wash up in a creek before the protective spells wore off.

“So Carter is dead,” Amanda said. It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. But Cole answered her anyway.

“Yes, he was when I found him. I tried to get him out anyway even though he couldn’t have possibly been alive. Don’t know why I even tried. He just… fell apart in my hands.” He shivered and she followed suit. “He deserved what he got. I’m glad he’s dead,” Cole said evenly.

“I didn’t mean to murder him.” Her voice cracked as she spoke.

Cole moved toward her and put his arms around her frail frame. “You didn’t murder him, Amanda. Don’t even say that! You aren’t a murderer. If he were throwing a stunning spell, it would have just knocked him out. He killed himself, and I’m glad he did. When I first saw him, I felt a stab of pity. It was like someone punched me in the stomach. I wanted him dead, but that death… it was a shock.” He looked down at her and gently cupped her face in the palm of his hand. “But then I realized that that was the death he meant for you.” His deep voice shook with anger. “He meant for that lump of flesh in the field to be you.” He pulled her closer as he continued. “Don’t you shed one tear for him, Amanda. He was consumed in darkness. Nothing good was left in him. He had nothing but evil to bring to this world.”

She felt calm in Cole’s arms but knew she wouldn’t be able to just shrug it off like he wanted her to. Shaking her head, she quickly changed the subject before her mind put together exactly what Cole meant by ‘lump of flesh.’ They did have a lot to discuss. “So, Madgie, where do we go from here?”

“I’ve told you where I think you should go and how to get there. Do you remember?” Madgie asked.

“Yes, I remember, but… aren’t you coming with me?”

Amanda didn’t like the way Madgie said that.

“Well, I do think it is best to travel together, at least until you’re healed up from your burns. I figure that should take a good week,” Madgie said, as she looked her up and down. Amanda had first and second degree burns over a good part of her body. She was looking more and more like an extra in an over-the-top cheesy horror film. Her wolf appeared by her side and plopped down next to her, resting his enormous head in her lap. She absentmindedly stroked his fur.

Cole’s resting head shot up. “Are you just going to leave her?” he asked with a hint of venom in his tone.

Amanda was taken back, but it was Madgie who spoke. “No, I’m not just going to leave her. We’re all going to leave each other.”

Cole looked like someone had slapped him across the face.

“But why would we do that, Madgie? I don’t think splitting up is a good idea.”

Maybe she regretted coming with them. Being on the run from the Ancients, unable to go back to her home, she shouldn’t have let either of them do this. So much had happened to them in such a short amount of time, and she wondered what was waiting for them in the future. When she pulled herself out of her thoughts, she saw that Madgie and Cole were in an intense argument. Well, Cole was heated anyway. Madgie sat firm and patient while he threw his hands around.

“I won’t leave her side, Madgie! You saw what just happened, didn’t you? That pales in comparison to what she has coming for her. Carter? He was one guy. They will be sending the whole Guard, no doubt. What will she do against that?”

Madgie shrugged her slender shoulders. “What will you do against that?” Madgie asked.

Cole’s face turned red in exasperation. “I’ll fight. I’ll protect her.”

“It will do her no good. There are too many to fight. The best thing to do is to try and not be found. It is harder to find one spirit among the billions on Earth than to find three. We’ll stick out like a sore thumb together. We’d be much easier to track,” Madgie said

Just before he could respond, Amanda butted in. “Hold on one second… the Ancients have a Guard, like an army?”

11

Classes had been canceled ever since Amanda and Madgie had fled, and Nell was more than a little angry with them for leaving her behind. How could they leave me here? she wondered furiously as she sat in the dining hall listening to the latest in the speaking campaign against her friends. The Hovel’s walls were splashed               with               Amanda’s face.               Posters of anti-Amanda propaganda were strange enough, but the new presence of the Guard had turned her home into a prison. She tried to calm her thoughts, knowing they couldn’t have guessed what the Hovel would turn into in their absence.

She’d awakened the day after Amanda vanished surprised to see strange men lining the Hovel, putting up a kind of perimeter around the entire institute. She, like many, had never known about the Guard. It was hard for a girl of her age to adjust to the fact that the life she’d known was over, but she knew it would forever be different. Nell sighed and started doodling on her notepad.

Frey continued his speech. “Brothers and sisters, I was there when she fled. I plead with her to stay, telling her the Ancients wouldn’t rest until she was safe. ‘Amanda,’ I said, ‘perhaps death isn’t the right way.’ We might yet find an answer, if only she would have stayed. I told her we all cared for her, and what does she do?”

Attack you. Yeah-yeah.

“Attacks us. She began a fierce battle using dark magic I’d never before seen, and then she just vanished! But not before murdering my good friend and mentor Danimir,” he said in a pained voice. “Amanda was cold, calculating, and deadly. She showed no mercy to him. The Ancients were right when they ordered death upon her. I only wish I had seen that sooner. Foolishly, I thought we could find another way, but she’s too far gone. I cannot be silent about the things I’ve witnessed. They have affected me too much and are still affecting me. My friend Carter is still missing,” he announced, choking up.

Frey looked down at the podium for a long moment, apparently fighting back tears. His golden ringlets and round face made him look like a suffering angel, but only to those who didn’t know him.

“He was so brave, and he is probably dead now. I’ll never question the Ancients again. It’s obvious to me now that they know of things we cannot grasp,” he said firmly. “So take comfort in them. They have only ever wanted what is best for you. That’s why the Guard is here with us. In every room that you tread, they will be there.” His voice sharpened a miniscule amount, making those questioning his speech and the Guards’ presence aware of the threat. “For your protection. Feel their love, and your troubled hearts and minds will be calmed.” He finished to some applause.

It looked to Nell like the Guard members were making note of who did and didn’t applaud. And she guessed she wasn’t the only one who noticed as the applause grew suspiciously louder.

Nell was one of the last to leave the dining hall, not wanting to take the long trek back to her room. She decided she’d procrastinated long enough when the room was emptied of all but the eerie Guard. She shuffled down one of the many hallways of the Hovel, careful to keep her eyes on the floor. She’d never seen her home so bare of Healers. The hallways were scarce of familiar faces and filled with ones she’d never met. Having the Guard members lined up around every corner, including the girl’s dormitories, was so unsettling to her.

She’d met Healers who were snobby, self-righteous, deluded, and sometimes downright rude. However, never Healers full of such darkness.

She took her eyes off the floor long enough to sneak a peek at the men lining the hall. Her eyes quickly glanced above her lashes, and she stopped dead in her tracks. All of the Guard members were looking at her. Not even one pair of eyes was otherwise occupied. She looked down the hall in front of her and then behind. She was the only Healer in sight. Nell was alone. Panic overwhelmed her, and she couldn’t explain why. She started again doubling her pace.

“Where do you think she’s off to in such a hurry?” one of the men asked loudly.

“I don’t know, but it seems awfully suspicious. Maybe you should question her, Chet.” A fellow Guard member laughed.

Nell kept her face down, not wanting to invite any more unwanted attention, but it didn’t help. A meaty hand clamped down on her shoulder and having not seen it coming, she screamed in surprise.

“Ha-ha, how do you like that? This one squeals!” Chet said to his comrades. Their deep chorus of laughter echoed strangely down the hall.

Nell spun away from his grasp and started walking again, hoping that he had had his fun and would leave her alone. He grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around, but she didn’t scream again, not wanting to show fear.

“You do not turn your back on your superiors. It’s rude.

Don’t you agree?” he asked, still holding onto her wrist.

“I do agree,” she said quickly, trying to dissolve the situation.

“There you go, pup. That’s how I like it.” He squeezed her wrist until her bones cried out. He obviously wasn’t done playing. So she tried a different approach. Maybe he’d leave her alone if she stood up for herself. That’s what people said about bullies, right?

“Luckily, there aren’t any superiors around. So I don’t need to worry about turning my back on one,” she said, attempting to free her hand.

Chet was silenced, but his friends started laughing at him.

“She told you!” one cried out.

“Wow, smart-mouthed by a little girl.”

Chet’s face was red with anger, and he pulled her nearer him. “Aw, she ain’t so little.”

“Stop!” Nell screamed as he pulled her hair tie out.

He combed his fingers through her long blonde strands. She struggled against him, but he was too strong. She couldn’t move an inch. He began to run his hands down to her hips when a voice rang out.

“Get your hands off of her!” one of the Guard members shouted while stepping out of his place in line.

Nell looked up, her wide eyes streaming salty tears, and saw that he was one of the younger members of the Guard, although he was taller than most of them. His face was smooth and void of any imperfection, making him look younger than he probably was. The overhead lights shone off his golden hair, and Nell imagined a halo around his head.

“What did you say?” Chet asked, letting go of Nell and turning to face him.

“You heard me. Leave her alone. She is no business of ours,” he said in a strong authoritative voice.

Chet took a step closer to the young man, squaring his shoulders. “Listen, blondie, I don’t take orders from anyone. If you’re going to try and start something here you better be able to back it up because, I’m not afraid of a fight, especially if that fight is with some little baby-face teenager who hasn’t even gone through puberty.” Chet took another step toward him. “You feel me?”

Nell’s hopes deflated as she saw the wind go out of her would-be rescuers sails. His shoulders dropped, and his face looked unsure, even frightened. “Yeah, yeah. I feel you,” he said quietly. “Sorry, man. Dang, I don’t know what I was thinking,” he apologized as a smile spread across Chet’s face. “Here, man, no hard feelings, okay?” He offered his hand.

Chet shrugged and took it. As soon as Chet’s meaty hand was in his, the stranger spun him around, pulling his hand between his shoulder blades elbow high in the air.

That can’t be comfortable. Nell thought happily.

The young man’s face was tight in anger as he kicked him in the back of the leg bringing him to his knees. He pulled Chet’s arm down further, throwing his shoulder out of its socket with a loud pop. Chet cried out in agony.

“How do you like being touched?” the angry stranger yelled.

Chet sobbed and the baby-faced boy threw him to the ground. “I don’t want to see you get up. You stay there!” he ordered. The fair-haired boy looked up to Nell, sky-blue eyes full of concern. “Are you all right?” he asked as he walked over to her.

Nell tried to speak, but was still so shaken she had to clear her throat multiple times before her voice sounded. “Yes, I’m fine,” she squeaked.

He looked at her for a second. “That didn’t sound very convincing. Here, let me walk you to your room. Is that okay?” he asked, making sure that she felt comfortable with him.

“Yes, that would be nice.”

He walked next to her down the hall, apparently oblivious to the angry glares that the other Guard members were giving him. She wished she could ignore their stares so easily, but it was so frightening to be surrounded by so many hateful faces. Nell looked up at the man walking next to her and felt better. He had a grin on his face that was contagious.

“My name is Armaan, by the way. What’s yours?” he asked.

She thought it was funny he could ask such a normal question given what had just happened. “Um, Nell,” she replied.

“So is Um your first name then, or should I call you Nell?” he teased.

“Nell is preferred to Um, but given what you just did for me, you can call me anything and I wouldn’t care.”

“Okay, I’ll call you ‘Anything’ if you really want me to. So, Anything, how long have you been at the Hovel?”

She laughed at the way his mind worked. She’d never met anyone like him. Most Healers were so serious. “I’m coming up on my fifth year. How about you?” she asked through a laugh.

“I’ll tell you what, Anything, I’ve been here almost seven years, but it feels like one hundred.”

He tried to say it with the same lightness he’d said everything else, but she heard the torment in his voice. His smile was in place, but she could see that it wasn’t his real one. Before she could study him further, he looked away.

“I’m sorry if what you did back there gets you into some trouble,” she said quietly so the Guard around them couldn’t hear.

“Oh, it’s all right. I’ve wanted to bring Chet some pain for a while. Heck, I should even be thanking you.” He turned to her and put a hand delicately on her shoulder. “Thank you,” he said with wholehearted sincerity.

“Um, you’re welcome…” Nell said unsure of what else to say.

She didn’t know how to act around him. She’d only known him for ten minutes, and already it was hard to keep up. He was like the ocean, constantly changing. His eyes even looked like the ocean. They were a deep bluish grey and seemed to hide a million secrets below their surface. She’d been taking in his every detail as they walked and felt conflicted. He was kind and attentive to her, making her laugh and cautiously searching her for signs of shock but through all of his kindness, she could still see darkness within him. She stopped in front of her room, and the expression on his face changed.

“Can I tell you something, Nell?” he asked, looking at her pleadingly.

“Sure.”

Armaan leaned down to her and put his mouth next to her ear. “Be here, outside of your door at midnight if you want to leave this place,” he whispered.

What did he mean? Where else could she go?

He was gone before she could ask him any of the questions running through her mind.

12

Amanda sat on the ground wrapped tightly in Cole’s thick cloak. The temperature was dropping fast, so he built a fire. She’d never sat around a campfire before, and it gave her the oddest feeling. The bright fingers of the fire lit their small circle and a few feet beyond. The flames stretched out and cast an orange hue across everything they touched. Even Cole’s dark eyes had a tinge of the color to them. Where the fire’s light couldn’t quite reach was a sheet of utter darkness that her eyes couldn’t pierce no matter how hard she tried. Their ring, suspended in the flames glow, made her think of the pre-Columbus days. Like if she took one step from the bright sphere, she’d fall right off the end of the earth.

Madgie threw another log on the fire, and Amanda snapped out of the trance that the flames had danced her into. “Well, Cole might be better to tell you the specifics of the Guard. Since he has actually trained with them, like all boys do, but since I’m the oldest here by a long shot…” She waited sarcastically for an objection and then faked offense when none was given and continued. “The Guard is something that is very controversial among Healers, at least people who have a mind of their own. You see, those chosen to be members are no longer Healers in the traditional sense. I mean you can’t change what you are, but they no longer enter Scars.”

“Wait. You can’t just choose to no longer heal Scars. I know. I tried to run from them…” Amanda interrupted.

She stopped and took a breath. Amanda didn’t like talking about the time she’d spent away from the Hovel. Two years of hunger and thirst and pain and loneliness, but that’s to be expected when you’re thirteen-years-old alone on the streets.

“You can’t just choose to not go into a Scar. I never felt like I was a good Healer and spent a good chunk of my life trying not to go into them because I knew I’d let the spirit down. But no matter where I was or how hard I tried, they took me regardless.” Madgie’s face brightened. “That’s because we don’t choose them, they choose us.”

Amanda sat a little straighter. “Well, why would they choose me? I don’t even heal half of the Scars I enter!”

“Your spirit is bright, and it beckons to them. Even though you feel otherwise, it doesn’t change the truth. Did you know you’ve fallen into more Scars than any one Healer I’ve ever known?” Madgie gushed.

Amanda knew her sweet mentor meant what she said, but it only frustrated her more. Madgie must have read her emotions, because she went back to her speech.

“These Guard members are picked at a young age. All of the boys who are gathered in the dredging at the age of ten must train with the guard for two years. Those who show more interest move on to stricter combat training…” She paused and gestured to Cole. “I believe you went to the next level of training.”

“Yes.” He nodded.

Madgie looked like she wanted him to continue, but he wouldn’t oblige so she marched on. “Well, this group of boys trains in combative spells at a new level, and they’re put into rankings. The higher ranking you are, the more you learn, but to be a member of the Guard, you cannot be slipping in and out of Scars all of the time. You are to do the bidding of the Ancients, so you need to be ready at all times.”

“But that’s impossible! It’s hard to even schedule classes at the Hovel because of it,” Amanda interrupted again.

Madgie held up her hand. “I know what you think. Just listen.”

Amanda sat back and nodded.

“The Ancients wanted to know if their Guard could have all the powers of the Healers with none of the obligations. Impossible, right? No. They figured they could have this by altering one simple fact. Scars are drawn to the bright light and spirit of Healers. Extinguish that light, and you have the Guard.” Amanda grew cold as Madgie continued.

“You might be wondering, ‘How do you take away a Healer’s light?’ The answer is simple. With darkness,” Madgie finished.

Amanda felt Cole’s body grow tense next to her. “But how is that possible?” she asked, turning to him.

Cole’s strong features were highlighted against the firelight, casting sinister shadows. His face looked hollow and angry, an empty shell of the person she knew. Amanda would have been frightened if that look were on anyone else’s face, but seeing it on his tore at her heart. She thought he looked like he was a million miles away, unaware the two ladies were even having a conversation, until she noticed the strange set of his mouth. He was biting down hard on his lower lip as the rest of his mouth seemed to fight against it.

Madgie sucked in a loud breath. “He’s trying to speak!” she shouted.

Amanda thought it just as Madgie said it because she could now feel the internal struggle Cole was fighting through. His spirit was lashing out against a dark blanket that wouldn’t lift itself from him. Cole’s face was red with effort, and a line of blood crept down his chin from the corner of his mouth.

“Stop!” Amanda shouted and grabbed his face when he didn’t listen. “You don’t need to fight it, Cole. I don’t know what you’re trying to say, but we can work it out later. You need to keep your strength.”

Cole nodded, and his face relaxed.

Madgie sighed in relief. “Wow, that’s some silencing hex you have on you, boy. I thought you would pass out. The Ancients do that to you?”

Cole didn’t, or couldn’t respond, which was answer enough. “So it’s true? All of the things we have heard over the years and dismissed as lies.”

Madgie looked to be on the verge of tears or ready to hit something, Amanda wasn’t sure which it was. “How could they do that to young boys?” Madgie whispered.

Amanda was still studying Cole, wondering what could have happened to him. When his haunted eyes met hers, she lurched forward and threw her arms around his neck, hoping if she held on tight enough nothing in the world could hurt him. He gently caressed the back of her head as she embraced him, nuzzling his face into her neck.

“Good heavens, I’m fine, Amanda,” he said with a smile. “If I’d known my… painful experiences would render this kind of affection, I would have told you years ago.”

Amanda released him and looked into his eyes. They were back to the bright happy things she knew. “Really?” she asked surprised.

“Obviously not, I can’t even…” He made a strange face again.

Talk about it now. That’s what he’s trying to say.

“Well, Madgie, let’s see what you know. It might help Amanda understand what we have coming,” Cole said.

“Okay, since you know nothing about the Guard, I guess I’ll begin at their creation, which was after Shiphra fled.”

A handful of questions almost left her mouth. Why then? How did it happen? What does Shiphra have to do with all of this? But she decided against it, letting Madgie go on uninterrupted.

“The other Ancients were horrified when they couldn’t find her. They devoted all their time to tracking her, but it’s hard to find someone as crafty as she is on a planet this size. So they rose up the Guard, so she would be forever hunted, always fleeing. They feared she’d rise up an army of her own if given the chance, so they made sure she was never in one spot long enough to do that.” Madgie shifted her weight as if trying to get comfortable on the hard ground. “Back then every male child was trained. I guess tortured would be a better word for it. They were subjected to black magic and shock treatments until the Ancients approved of them. Most of the Guard members have a light so dim it is hard to even tell that they’re Healers, which I guess is the point. Shiphra couldn’t see them coming, or so they thought.”

“That’s terrible.” Amanda gasped. “They did that to twelve-year-old boys? Just to keep Shiphra on her toes! Tortured them until they…”

Cole had been subjected to that, probably during the years she’d deserted the Hovel. I was running around the country feeling sorry for myself while he was being tortured? She felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. Amanda had always felt terribly guilty for those two years of self-pity, but that guilt was nothing compared to what she felt at this moment. She’d abandoned him when he needed her most, the little boy who’d been the first to show her kindness at the Hovel.

Amanda thought back to the day after the Dredging. The new Healers had been ushered into the dining hall. Every child, including her, had taken a seat. The food had stayed untouched, no one wanting to eat so full of fear and uncertainty. Only one child had remained standing, a dark-haired boy. He’d been looking around the room, searching for something, and then his eyes had met hers. She’d never known what he’d seen in her eyes, but he’d made a beeline for the table. The tight curls on his head had bounced up and down as he moved. His hair had been even curlier when he was young.

Cole had made a bit of a mess as he served himself a bowl of soup and walked over to her with it held aloft. He’d placed it in front of her slowly and sat down across from her. All the children had followed suit, and soon they’d all been eating, except Cole. He’d made her smile and made sure she ate. She’d always wondered why, out of all of the children there, he’d chosen to set that bowl of soup in front of her. Amanda was looking at Cole when Madgie confirmed her realization.

“Yes, that’s what Cole went through. Lucky his light is so bright they couldn’t extinguish it. They had to release him from the Guard, but not before they silenced him as you can see,” Madgie said.

“How do you know I’m choosing not to speak of my own accord? Maybe I didn’t want her to have to think about me… going through that.”

“Sorry, but you cannot protect her from this any longer. Where was I? Oh, yes, so they had what they wanted, but Healers around the world were starting to become concerned about it. Too many Healers were no longer doing their job. Scars need to be healed, or, as you know, the world becomes unbalanced and falls into darkness. It happened before. The bubonic plague wiped out so many Healers. There just weren’t enough of us left to keep the balance. Historians now refer to that time as the Dark Ages.”

Amanda was taken by surprise. She’d heard it preached at the Hovel, but she never realized how essential Healers were to the world.

“So as the Guard got bigger, the world became darker. As they hunted Shiphra, World War One started and ended, and then World War Two. Thousands upon thousands of men and women and children were being slaughtered. Awful things we’d never seen before were happening in the world. The wars left more Scars behind than we could heal, and it seemed the world was destined to end. The Healers rose up and told the Ancients in one voice that their Guard needed to be downsized and returned to their duties of healing. The Ancients came up with the idea of the Dredging to increase our numbers.”

“It hasn’t always been that way?” Amanda gasped.

“No, no. Before that time we found Healers and told them what they were and where to find us if they chose to be around those like them. They came in their own time, sometimes in youth, sometimes old age, but they always came. When that didn’t even restore balance, the Ancients obliged most likely because they were satisfied that Shiphra wouldn’t rise up. At the time, most thought it was kindness on their part, so selfless and understanding of them to give up their army. How foolish of us.” Madgie looked disgusted.

Seeing her look that way filled Amanda with rage at the Ancients for taking advantage of the innocent. How easy it must have been to gain power over the Healers, they’re so naturally kind, peaceful, and naive.

“It isn’t your fault, Madgie! You aren’t foolish for believing in those you’re supposed to be able to trust. I think the reason they shrunk their Guard wasn’t because they were done with Shiphra. They downsized it because you came together. All the Healers came together and said no to them. No more. Well, I’ve only been alive for seventeen years, and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how you’ve lasted this long under their reign. Maybe we should be finding Shiphra for more than one reason. I think she’ll agree when I tell her it’s time to end it,” she finished defiantly.

13

Amanda stared wide-eyed at a twisted dead tree on the hilltop with a small figure at its side. The tree’s white fingers were a stark contrast to the dark sky. She glanced around and saw her pursuers closing in. Wiping away the wet hair clinging to her face, she ran as fast as her feet would carry her across the soggy terrain. Lightning cracked above, and she studied the angry clouds. She’d never seen it so black at mid-day. Digging her toes into the muddy hill, she began climbing.

“Help!” the girl cried out.

The small voice was like an arrow to her heart. She slowly made her way to the top of the hill. Amanda knew if she could just reach Kaedin she’d be at peace again. She heard a noise beneath her and saw that the hill was surrounded by cloaked figures. All of her enemies’ faces were hidden beneath heavy hoods, save one. He towered above the Guard members, and his light shone brightly in the gloom.

“Baal,” she whispered.

He smiled up at her with pointed teeth.

Amanda was temporarily blinded as lightning struck near her. Her vision came back as she flew through the air out of breath. The large tree was split in half, and fire climbed its white bark. Carter stood hunched in the space Kaedin had occupied, acid burned flesh running down his body like candle wax. He moved toward her with jagged uneven steps.

“Murderer!” he bellowed, glaring at her with blood-shot red eyes.

“No, no. I didn’t mean to,” Amanda cried out, closing her eyes. “Don’t hide behind those eyelids. You look at what you did to me!” he demanded.

When she finally peeled open her eyes, he’d closed the twenty- yard distance between them and was bent over her shaking body, skinless fingers outstretched.

Amanda awoke breathing heavily. She was glad to find herself snugly sandwiched between Cole and her wolf’s warm bodies. I did that to him, I’m a murderer. It wasn’t easy to shrug off the fear and defeat her dream had brought, but she felt safe next to Cole and her wolf. She’d slept like a log, which was fitting because they’d had to sleep on the forest floor. Amanda felt more than rested rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she felt strong.

She stretched her arms into the air and arched her back.

Slits of sun light sliced through the foliage and drew a pattern of stripes across her skin. She studied them and wondered why they seemed so strange, this wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Light and shadows drew patterns over everything coloring the world one way then changing it completely with the drifting of a cloud. Her mind was on the verge of understanding why there was something off when Cole spoke to her.

“What is going on with you? Do you know, or is it as big a mystery to you as it is to me?”

She jumped at his voice; she’d thought he was asleep. “What do you mean?” she asked as he rolled to face her.

“I saw Carter’s spell hit you Amanda. I saw it break your skin. I heard you cry out in pain and now all I see is a hole in your shirt…” He put his hand on her shirt, his fingers lightly kissing the charred fabric. “Burnt around the edges.” He paused, clearing his throat and moving away.

She wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw something other than worry burning behind his eyes.

“You ran into that cloud of acid and came out of it miraculously fine, other than minor burns. Which, by the way, are completely healed.”

She looked down at her palm and understood why it had looked strange to her earlier. The burns were gone. Her hand almost seemed normal, even the poison in her veins faded. She threw off Cole’s cloak and drew her shirt up, exposing her midsection. Her skin now looked paler than normal but not monstrous. Cole had frozen at the sight of her bare skin. Apparently, she looked far from grotesque to him.

“Can you believe this?” she exclaimed in happy surprise.

Beneath her, the large rib cage of her wolf heaved in and out in a calm breathing pattern, and she knew how she’d been healed. She understood why she felt so strong but wasn’t sure she could explain it to Cole. She truly didn’t understand the reason this wolf was with her or what he was.

“No, I can’t,” he said reaching over, pulling her shirt back down and shaking his head back into the conversation.

“Cole, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I wish I understood so I could tell you. All of this must seem extremely strange, but you don’t need to worry. I’m still me, beneath all of the demonic poison and mystical healing.” Amanda cringed and hoped her words came across better than they sounded.

“Demonic poison and mystical healing?” Cole said in a thoughtful voice. “Yes you’re definitely yourself. No one but you could make an attempt at reassurance sound like an argument against yourself.”

Her cheeks heated, and she tried to hide her face, but he lifted her chin up. She felt a little relieved when she saw his perfect lips curved into a huge smile. His shoulders were shaking as he tried not to laugh.

“Go ahead and make fun of me!” she said, throwing her arms in the air.

Cole didn’t hesitate at all. His deep chuckle lifted her heart so much that she joined in. They laughed together. The strong carefree kind that hurts the sides, the one that only those you are comfortable with ever get to hear.

Then Madgie woke in a fit. Amanda had never seen her in such a state, half-asleep and hair like a lion’s mane. She started shouting at them for being “young and able to sleep on the forest floor.” This only fueled their amusement.

The laughter in the air faded away and was replaced with a familiar silence. She wasn’t at all surprised when the Scar took form in front of her, but she was surprised to see both Cole and Madgie still with her. They looked at each other full of confusion. When a Scar took a Healer it wasn’t a group thing. She’d never heard of a Scar taking more than one person before. From the look on Cole and Madgie’s faces, neither had they.

They were on the high, pebble-strewn banks of a clear river, watching two young lovers on the opposite side. The pair didn’t notice the three of them standing there, too caught up in each other. Amanda knew immediately it was the teenage boy who was trapped here in this Scar. The girl was a mere memory, not a spirit. Fear rippled across Amanda’s bosom, and she fell to her knees, momentarily overcome with the emotion. Cole pulled her back on her feet, and she tried to push out the feeling of trepidation.

It was a terrible thing to watch these Scars unfolding. Sometimes she had scenes like this, love, laughter, but it was merely the calm before the storm. If they were here, in this memory, something was eventually going to happen, a tragedy terrible enough to Scar a spirit and the world.

It was a beautiful day in the memory. The sunlight seemed almost golden as it reflected off the surface of the smooth water and highlighted the cotton blowing about on the breeze. It was springtime. Cottonwoods shed their seeds in the spring. She made note of every detail. Suddenly the young man was on his feet. He was dressed in a humble suit that reflected the style of the 1940s.

“Come on, Mae! It’ll be fun. The boys and me do it all the time,” he said to his sweetheart with a smile dancing around his lips.

“I can’t, John! For goodness sake, I’m in my Sunday dress! My mama would tan my hide,” Mae replied.

“What if I told ya I’d give you all of the dead presidents in my wallet?” he asked.

“I’d say I don’t want anymore Lincolns jingling around in my purse.” She giggled.

“Oh, I have more than pennies, you little tease. Now are you up for fun or not?” John asked as he offered her his hand.

“Okay, but it’s your own fault if my ma won’t allow me to see ya for a month,” Mae said, caressing his arm.

They walked hand in hand downstream, laughing with each other and giving shy kisses, until they reached a tree. It was a great deal larger than the rest of the ones lining the river, making it seem out of place. Its wide branches stretched out over the water and dangling from one of the thickest ones was a rope.

John picked up a long stick propped against the tree and leaned over the bank, swiping at the rope. After a few swings, the improvised hook snagged it and he pulled it to him. His girlfriend looked nervous as he held it out to her.

“You go first. Show me how to do it,” she said hesitantly.

He straightened his shoulders. “Okay. First, make sure you have a good grip on the rope. Like this, see,” John said, showing her the position of his hands. “Then just walk back a couple steps and do this.” He ran off the edge of the bank, swinging into the air. When he reached the highest point that the rope came to, he threw himself back, doing a flip before hitting the water. He resurfaced in a few seconds, whipping his hair back, making drops of water rain down all around him.

“Just like that, huh?” Mae asked sarcastically.

“Well, you don’t need to do the back flip. I was just impressing you.” He swam out of her way.

“I believe the term is ‘just trying to impress you’,” she said with a smile.

“Nope, no trying about it. I impressed you. Now get down here with me. The water’s fine,” he said while floating on his back.

Her smile faded. “I don’t know if I should do this, John. If I come home with a broken leg, my pa will probably kill you.” Mae looked down at the fifteen-foot drop.

“Oh, you get free health care anyway. Your dad’s a doc.

Don’t worry so much, it isn’t that high. I wouldn’t have you do it if it were dangerous. Now live a little,” he chided.

“All right, but if I break my leg I’m not letting you sign my cast.” She giggled at him and straightened her shoulders as she had seen him do.

“Okay, make sure you have a good grip and let go around the middle… that’s where the water is deepest,” he instructed. Mae took a few steps back and ran off the edge, closing her eyes as her foot left the earth. She swung out over the water, her dark locks shining in the sunlight. The rope reached its highest point, and she threw herself back.

No! Amanda heard John think. Don’t try to flip, don’t!

She was falling fast. She attempted to right herself as he had, but to no avail. Her eyes shot open, full of fear and met his right before her head awkwardly struck the water.

Amanda knew the loud crack that sounded couldn’t have happened in real life. He must have imagined he’d heard her neck breaking afterward, but all the same, the sound chilled her to the bone.

John swam over to her body, quickly pulling her out of the water, and laid her on the bank.

“Mae?” he whispered. She didn’t respond, her body limp and lifeless. He put his head gently to her chest where her soaked Sunday dress clung to her skin. “Mae?” he screamed. “Mae, wake up.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her hard.

“Mae, don’t leave me. Don’t go,” John begged her through sobs. He gently picked her up in his arms and began running. There was no need for the Healers to give chase. They were dragged along with him. He ran across two wheat fields with Mae’s limp body in his arms before a small town came into view.

Looked like a postcard, little white church and all. They neared the quaint country town.

“Help!” John screamed out frantically. “Someone help us please!” he begged. His voice was so full of pain Amanda had to lean on Cole to keep herself standing.

Where was he going? Didn’t he know it was too late?

Amanda could see he hadn’t given up. He still believed he could save the very dead girl in his arms. He had to believe that. He couldn’t go on without her. She couldn’t believe the pace that he kept. He had run three miles before Amanda understood his destination, the hospital. She was beginning to understand why this memory hadn’t stopped by the river’s edge. It wasn’t only this girl’s death that was scarring. It was whatever happened next, with Mae’s father.

Amanda felt herself pulling back, attempting to fight the force towing her along after John. She didn’t want to see what happened next. She had no need to feel this boy’s pain. He was such a simple, fragile spirit. Madgie and Cole were looking at her thoughtfully.

“Mae’s father is a doctor,” Amanda said quietly. She turned to look at Cole, and his eyes met hers. He scanned her face. She looked away from him, turning back to the boy that she was scared to follow. “We’re headed to the hospital.” She gestured toward the building that was growing in size and clarity at their approach.

Madgie’s face contorted in pain and Cole’s fell in realization. “Oh!” Madgie cried. “You don’t think that…”

“Yes, of course something terrible is going to happen.

We’re here, aren’t we?” Amanda stated bluntly. Like the girl’s death wasn’t hard enough on him. She choked up. What was going to happen now?

John’s screams had caused a stir, and people began flowing out onto the street from small shops and eateries. They were all done up in their Sunday best, but it didn’t stop the women from dropping to their knees as John passed by.

“Mae!” Some of the women cried out before fainting, and

Amanda understood why they did. Mae’s body was devoid of all color. Her once pale, milky skin was now a nauseating grey.

Some of the men joined John in his run to the hospital. A tall middle-aged man ran next to him. He was dressed in a police uniform, but that wasn’t what struck her. As soon as she saw the man she knew who he was. John was the spitting image of his father.

“What happened, John?” his father asked.

“She hit the water.” His father looked confused by this short answer but didn’t question him any further. It was plain to see John was in a state of complete hysteria.

“You’re tired, son. Here, let me help you,” he said, leaning down to take Mae from his arms.

“Don’t touch her!” John screamed. “Don’t touch her!” The man jumped back. “Mae will be fine. She just needs a doctor. Right, Mae?” he asked, looking down at her lovingly.

Amanda took in the haunting building as they entered the hospital grounds. It stretched toward the sky, towering over the small town.

The building was stretched tall, like a yard of taffy, and its surface reminded her of seeing something through water. The color of brick faded from dark scarlet to light pinkish tones, and the windows bowed so badly Amanda was sure they’d break at any moment, spewing shards of glass all over her. Just then, she heard a voice ring out so loud it shook everything around them, including the bulging windows.

“Whaaat hasss haaappened?” it asked.

Amanda shivered as her skin tightened into goose flesh, and she wasn’t the only one. She felt Madgie shudder next to her.

That voice! It sounds so inhuman. The hospital doors trembled in their frame before bursting open.

The man stepping out of the hospital wasn’t at all what she’d expected. He was in a long white coat like the doctors she’d seen on television, but he didn’t resemble the tall proud men with good cheekbones. He looked more like a wounded animal. He limped out of the hospital, gasping as if each movement brought him incredible pain.

The man looked up and Amanda’s mind swirled in confusion. His eyes were double the size that they should have been and a solid sphere of black. She wasn’t taken back by their size or color or by the severe pain that was so evident in them. She was confused by the feeling they gave her. Amanda wasn’t at all fearful. She just felt that they were in need of help. They were that she fell in love with instantly, and that could only mean one thing.

He was a trapped spirit. She looked over at Cole and Madgie and saw they reflected her astonishment. “Two spirits in one Scar.”

“I’ve heard of this happening, even heard rumors about Ancients healing Scars with thousands of trapped spirits, but I’ve never experienced it. This is like opening a Cracker Jack box and getting two prizes!” Madgie exclaimed excitedly.

Amanda tried not to feel angry. Most Healers felt this way. They were excited to heal every Scar, free every spirit, save every soul. She knew she should feel this way too and probably would, if their pain didn’t affect her so.

“Yeah,” Amanda said, breathing out hard. “Double the fun.”

Cole gave her a squeeze, letting her know he understood her reluctance.

“I struggle with one person’s pain. How will I deal with two?” she asked.

“You can do this, Amanda. You’re so much stronger than you know,” Madgie whispered. She felt Madgie’s warm hand enclose her forearm. “Don’t try to separate your love from their sorrow. It’s your love that releases them from all of this. Allow yourself to take their grief on to your shoulders without resistance.”

“I don’t know that I can, Madgie!” Amanda squeaked as

John stepped nearer to Mae’s father. “I’m not like you or the rest of the Healers. When they put their pain on my shoulders, I fall. I’m too weak!”

Madgie’s grip on her arm tightened at her words. “You’re so young, Amanda, and therefore accustomed to speaking about things you don’t fully understand. Even so, I refuse to hear talk like this. No matter how young and stupid you might be!” Madgie huffed. “No, Amanda, you’re not like me or other Healers, you’re so much better than us. Feeling a spirit’s pain as if it’s your own is a gift. Take it!” She spun Amanda toward her so that they were face to face. “You have more love and empathy in your heart than any Healer I’ve met in my many decades. Just own who you are and you could be the strongest of us all.” She released her then in a frustrated fury.

Amanda felt hurt that Madgie was so upset with her, but she couldn’t feel offended because somewhere deep inside of her a cog clicked into place. “I’ve never stopped fighting who I am, what I am.”

This was no epiphany. Amanda had known this fact her entire memorable life. She never forgot running, never made excuses for it. This was different though. For the first time in her life she thought maybe she wasn’t too weak. Maybe Madgie was right.

“Whaat is thiss?” he asked. The hissing voice seemed to infiltrate her very being, slamming into her like a strong gust of wind. Only this wind seemed to move through her, leaving in its wake the feeling of rage and remorse. Her bones felt heavy under the weight of it, making it hard to stay upright.

Cole put a hand out to steady her. “Are you all right?” he asked, his perfect features twisting into a mask of concern.

She was equally thankful for his concern and annoyed by it at the same time. After all, she wasn’t the one in need of help. Amanda was whole and strong. She thought about her life, all that was happening outside of this Scar.

Out there she might be a damsel in distress. But in here, in here, she could be somebody’s knight in shining armor. “Did you feel that?” she asked.

Cole and Madgie nodded in unison.

“Hate,” Cole whispered. “Rage.”

“No, no. Beneath that. There was something else, regret?” She turned to her companions.

“I’m not getting anything but anger, quite concentrated.

It’s making me sick to tell you the truth,” Madgie said through tight lips as she turned her eyes away from the doctor and back to John. Amanda stared at her mentor and then glanced back to Mae’s Father. His hollow eyes were full of despair as he looked at his lifeless daughter.

“Mae?” he whispered. When she didn’t respond he ran to her as quickly as his disjointed body could move. “Mae, baby?” he shook her out of John’s arms. John seemed unable to object, powerless to speak at all.

He knelt in the parking lot with Mae’s cold, wet body in his arms, holding her tight as he desperately put his ear to her chest, knowing he wouldn’t hear the tell tale flutter of life. She guessed he’d seen more than enough dead bodies to know better, being a doctor, but reason and knowledge didn’t stop him from laying her flat on the pavement and starting CPR. The crowd of sad faces was hushed as he worked on her, pumping her stubborn heart and crying all the while. After thirty minutes of this, a tall man stepped out of the crowd and walked over to him.

“That’s John’s father,” Amanda said.

“Bill, she’s gone.” He put a comforting hand on his friends shoulder.

“No!” Bill cried out. “She can’t be.” He looked up at John’s father with eyes full of sadness. “My baby can’t be…” Bill seemed unable to say the word ‘dead’. In a flash, his eyes were full of anger. “You did this!” he shouted and spun to face John.

“What?” the dazed boy asked, his voice still distant.

“You killed my baby,” Bill spat. John’s face filled with sadness, but he didn’t argue. His father put a hand on Bill’s tight shoulder and, as he rose his arm, Amanda saw a gleam of silver flash from under his coat.

“Bill, let’s get her inside,” he said simply, trying to diffuse the situation.

Bill turned to go along with the officer, and before he made his move, she knew why she could feel his regret.

She knew what was going to happen. Amanda darted forward, ignoring the part of her that was screaming for self- preservation. She leapt between John and Mae’s father.

Her feet touched the ground just as Bill grabbed for the sheriff’s gun, kicking him aside. There was a shout from the crowd as he turned the gun on John, but John didn’t scream. He looked resigned, maybe even happy that his pain would soon be over.

She dropped her invisibility, allowing them to see her, and the rest of the memory faded, leaving just the three of them. Mae’s father looked bewildered, but John didn’t, he looked as if he had been waiting for her.

“Who are you?” Bill asked.

She turned away from John and spoke to Bill. “Put that gun down, Bill. Put it down now, or you’ll forever wish that you had,” she said. The words came out of her soothingly, not threateningly.

Bill looked taken back, but his grip on the gun didn’t lessen.

“This wasn’t John’s fault. He loved your daughter.” She could feel John’s happiness at her words.

“I said, who are you?” he shouted. “And where are we?”

Bill asked, looking around.

Nothing could be seen but the three of them, spotlight center stage. Not the hospital, the parking lot, or any people. “Where’s my Mae?” he demanded.

“Mae’s not here. She’s moved on,” Amanda said.

John’s head shot up. “Moved on where?” he asked in a rush. His boy-like features stood out to her even more as he asked the question.

“I don’t fully know. You can find out. You can be with her. Just let go of what’s holding you here,” she pleaded.

“But, it was all my fault. I don’t deserve to be with her,” John said, looking at his feet.

“Just answer me this, John. If God takes back the people he misses a little early, who do you think he would have missed the most?” she asked.

John closed his eyes, and Amanda watched the thoughts and memories of Mae floating behind his eyelids. “Mae,” he whispered almost inaudibly.

The air tasted sweet, and Amanda could feel him letting go. Just before he vanished in a burst of light, John smiled in recognition at something she couldn’t see. A surge of euphoria welled up inside of her chest, and a lone tear slid down her cheek. She could see why Healers love this, yearn for it even. Amanda didn’t get to enjoy John’s lingering joy for long.

“What the… Where did he go?” Bill asked. He lowered the gun to his side, staring at the now empty space that his target had occupied.

“He’s with Mae now and in answer to your question, I’m Amanda. I’m here to help you.”

“Help me?” Bill spat. “No one can help me.” He crossed the distance between them in shaky strides. “And if you could, I wouldn’t want your help. Do you know what I did?” he cried his voice increasingly high. “Do you? You may have stopped me right now, but I remember what I did.” He sat down on the ground and put his head in his hands. “I killed that poor boy. Shot him right between the eyes. Right here in front of his father and my poor dead Mae. I murdered him. Tried to kill myself too, but they took the gun from me before I could.” He looked up at her then with rage pouring from him. “And you want to help me? Listen, I see you’re sincere, but this is Hell and I belong here.”

“No, you don’t. You dedicated your life to medicine, to helping others. This was an awful mistake and if you’d had a clear head, you never would have done it,” she said comfortingly. “No, I would have. I’ve relived this scene more times than

I can account for. I’ve told myself over and over again not to do it, but every time he brings me Mae…” He let out a ragged breath. “Just leave me, whatever you are, just leave me.”

Amanda shook her head. “I won’t, I’m not going anywhere.”

He turned on her then and let out a shriek that sounded part human, part animal. “I said leave me!”

“Sorry there, Bill. I’ve seen things a lot more terrifying than you,” Amanda said, poking him in the chest with her forefinger. She could tell from the look on his face he was shocked, and it was the most human she’d seen him yet. “I’m not going anywhere, and we’re the only ones here, so let’s make conversation. Tell me about your daughter.”

“I will not,” Bill said savagely.

“If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to. I see all of the things you’ve ever seen, anyway.”

Holding up her hand, she projected an image of a dancing girl with ribbons in her hair. Amanda watched it and was amazed. She’d never seen a more beautiful child. It played out in front of them like an old film that had collected a little dust over the years. Bill watched in awe as his little daughter danced and laughed.

“Daddy!” little Mae said in a musical voice.

“Take it away! Take it away.” Bill roared. He closed his eyes tightly, and when he opened them, the projected memory was gone. “Why did you show me that? Why would you, when I can never see her again. Never hear her laughter…” He broke off as he began to sob uncontrollably.

Amanda walked over, sat down next to him, and put a hand on his shoulder. His body shook underneath her palm.

“You can see her again,” she said comfortingly. “You know you can. Most spirits don’t know they’re reliving the past over and over, but you did. You’re a smart guy, Bill. If you thought this was Hell then you must believe in Heaven. You aren’t in Hell, just so you know.”

He stopped shaking. “I’m not?” he asked in disbelief. “Surely I have to be, I know that I…” Bill broke off. “What does it matter where I am? I’ll never see my daughter, and I don’t want to.”

Amanda was speechless for a moment then regained her stride. “What do you mean? I know your heart, and I know your mind. Your daughter is everything to you.”

“Of course she is and always will be. I just don’t deserve to be where she is, and even if I was pardoned of this crime… I couldn’t face her. Not after what I did, I killed Johnny. Mae loved him so. She would be so ashamed of me. She’d hate me,” he said with sadness in his voice.

“I haven’t ever been to Heaven, but I think it’s a pretty good bet to say hate isn’t really the thing up there.”

“No. I couldn’t do it,” he said with finality.

Amanda held her hand up once more and replayed Mae’s childhood.

“Daddy!” the girl exclaimed.

“If not for you, do it for her. She misses you. I’m sure it’s brought her pain to watch you all these years, never able to comfort her daddy.” Amanda let her words hang in the air, unsure of what to do if this route failed her. She waited for what seemed like forever before hanging her head.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, she tasted the sweetness in the air around her and smiled. She looked up at Bill and couldn’t believe her eyes. He looked nothing like the monster that had stumbled out of the hospital. His hair was dark and shining, and she saw where Mae had gotten her stunning smile.

“Daddy’s coming, baby girl,” was all he said before he vanished in an explosion of bright lights.

“Good for you, Bill, good for you,” she said just before the familiar tug pulled her               back.

14

Nell slowly pushed the door of her room open just a crack. It was hard to see anything in the dark hallway, but after her eyes adjusted, she could see that it was empty. She closed the door quietly in disappointment.

What was she doing? She didn’t even know Armaan. And on top of being a stranger, he was a member of that horrible Guard. She’d stayed up all night trying to make a decision. Stay here in the Hovel, full of sadistic strangers, or leave with a stranger who could be a good person? He’d helped her and seemed so kind. However, his light was so dim. He had the same darkness the other Guard members had hanging around them. So what should she do?

She had been running that question over and over in her mind. In the silence of her room, the tick-tock of her clock invaded her ears like the drums of an approaching army. She glanced at it quickly.

Three minutes to midnight. Just three minutes to make up her mind.

She looked at the room that had been her home for four years. It was barren now, all of her possessions in a small bag slumped on the bed. She wondered if she could say goodbye. The Hovel had been like an answer to a prayer. Many of the Healers here didn’t have much like for her because she was different, and she loved Amanda like a sister. When Nell had first arrived, she was thought to be a prodigy. Not many ten-year-olds entered Scars on a regular basis, let alone healed them. Everyone wanted to know how she did it, how she healed every Scar that she entered. Soon after her arrival, Amanda ran away, and Nell and Amanda had both shared the gift of early leaping. So ‘prodigy’ turned into ‘untrustworthy.’

Two minutes to midnight.

She never let their whispered words bother her and didn’t answer their many questions, though Nell knew why she was so good. Many of the Scars held spirits who were suffering things that she’d already gone through. It was easy to relate and heal when you truly understood what they were going through. Nell loved being a Healer. It gave her a purpose and allowed her to see that she wasn’t the only person who’d a tough life.

One minute to midnight.

The drumming of the clock continued. She hurried to her bed and snatched up her bag. As she walked to the door, Nell realized she’d been running through these questions for no reason. She was always going to leave. With that thought, she ducked her head out the door.

The hallway seemed even darker once she left the safety of her room. She squinted down the corridor but saw nothing. Worse than that, she felt nothing. The place was completely deserted. It was so strange for the Hovel to feel this empty. Even at midnight, there were usually a few people coming and going.

She could hear the faint sounds of a place inhabited, quiet footsteps, whispered words, and the heavy breathings of sleep. More familiar than those were the creaking and groaning noises made by the large, old factory. Though they may have felt haunting to some people, they didn’t frighten her at all. She had always been comforted by them. After all, it was the sound of home. Realizing she didn’t know when she would hear the hushed sighing of her only home again, she listened closer. The white noise calmed her nerves.

It had to be midnight by now. She strained her ears, trying to hear. All of the racket seemed to be growing more and more quiet. She thought as all sound faded away. There was nothing to hear now, nothing but thick silence. Nell raised a hand to her ear and slapped at it. Nothing. Was she deaf? She opened her mouth to whisper something, anything to reassure herself that there was nothing wrong.

“Hello,” she said, but didn’t hear it.

Nell could feel the word leave her lips, but it never reached her ears. She stumbled back to the door frightened, not hearing footsteps or the loud ‘bang’ that she must have made when colliding into her door, grasping for the handle.

A hand wrapped around her arm just as her fingers touched the cool metal of the knob. Nell’s scream was automatic and powerful. She felt a little dizzy by the time all of the air was out of her lungs, but even that she couldn’t hear. Nell whipped herself around to face the assailant and wasn’t all that surprised to see the angelic face of Armaan looking at her… although he looked surprised, his face was full of concern.

“What’s wrong?” he mouthed.

She felt like slapping him for looking so concerned and deafening her at the same time. Nell knew it had to be something he was doing, so she pulled her arm out of his grasp and began a pretty spectacular verbal assault. After a few seconds, he smiled and put a hand to his ear, indicating he couldn’t hear a word she was saying.

She realized he couldn’t hear either. They stood in the empty hall awkwardly before he fetched a notepad from his pocket. He scribbled on it so quickly she doubted she’d be able to read the chicken scratch, but when he handed it to her, it was perfectly legible.

Hey, Nell! Sorry I didn’t give you a heads up. We had a lot of ears listening to us at the time. I put a silent spell around us so no one could hear us leave. I know it feels a little weird like pudding in your ears or something. Just trust me. It’s easier to make a daring escape when you don’t have to worry about noise.

Nell was surprised at how much she could hear his voice in the note. She turned her eyes away from the paper and looked up at him. He was giving her two thumbs up and what was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but she thought it just looked super cheesy. She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed a pen out of her pocket. It felt like she took much more time writing her note than he did his, though it was much shorter.

So, where are we going?

After a few scribbles he handed her back the pad and looked around cautiously.

We have a few more to pick up, and then we’re out. We need to leave right now if you want to come, and I really hope that you do. I don’t think it’s safe for you here, Nell. Everyone knows how close you are to Amanda. It’s your choice, but make it. Others are waiting.

Others were waiting. Who?

This was no time for questions or indecision. She handed him back the pad and nodded her head. Much to her delight, a smile stretched across his face. She grinned too, not understanding why this fact gave her such joy. She followed closely behind him until they reached the first fork. He held up a hand, and she stopped behind him. Armaan looked to his right and moved back quickly.

He turned to face her and mouthed one word. “Guards.” She sucked in a breath and was surprised at how frightened she was by them. He shook his head and then looked again. Armaan turned to her and quickly spun her in his arms to the other side of the hallway. For a moment it felt like they were dancing, but the hammering of her heart reminded her they were in danger. She turned around as he continued down the hallway, but no one was giving chase.

Armaan stealthily guided them through passages that the Guard seemed to have abandoned. He paused in some areas glancing at his watch, sometimes stopping for five or ten minutes. Nell wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but she knew he had guided them through areas the Guard should have been watching. Within an hour and a half, well over a dozen people had joined the two of them. She’d been a little embarrassed that none of the other Healers were screaming in fear at the loss of their hearing.

Maybe he’d given them a heads up. It was still eerie to be traveling with this many people and not hear a sound… even though she knew no sound meant safety. She glanced at the faces in the group around her. There were young and old, male and female.

They must just want out of here, maybe not because they were individually targeted, maybe just because their home was turning into a prison. She was pulled out of her thoughts as she collided with the person in front of her. The group had stopped without her noticing. Luckily, the person she banged into just gave her a reassuring smile. They were gathered around Armaan, who was scribbling on his notepad while looking at his watch. He held up the note for all to see, and after some wiggling Nell could read the words.

Okay, we have everyone who’s is coming with us. Our next stop is out of here. We don’t have much time left, so please try to hurry. Remember, there’s nothing to fear. We’ll be safe soon. Stay together.

He took one last look at his watch and opened his mouth.

Nell was sure if she were able to hear the words coming from him they would have contained four letters. He turned around and drove quickly down the hallway. Armaan didn’t move so fast that they couldn’t keep up, though she was certain he could have. His body lurched forward with incredible athleticism. He even had doors pried open before the group could pause.

It was at a door that he finally halted. She stared up at its towering height. Its twisted metal had strange patterns hammered into it. They looked so familiar to her. After a moment, she realized they were nothing more than an intricately scrawled mathematical symbol, the sign for infinity. She met eyes with Armaan who had a hand on the latch. As the door opened a fraction, her mind was assaulted with questions about his trustworthiness and that mark.

She brought up her memory of the Ancients and studied their odd skin. Scattered across them like duplicate birthmarks was the strange infinity sign. She backed up a step as the doors flew open. The room behind them was huge. Squinting upward, she could barely make out the domed ceiling.

It was six stories above her head. From the cavern-like walls hung fine drapery from around the world, giving the room a rich texture. Encompassing the room in a half circle stood six gigantic wooden chairs. The chair’s legs were thick roots, and growing out of them were the most intricately carved scenes that she had ever seen; plants and animals, Healers and spirits. All were depicted in perfect beauty.

Being in awe of the room’s grandeur, it took her a moment for her terrified mind to process the fact that the chairs stood empty.

The Ancients weren’t there. He hadn’t led her and the others to them. She let out the breath she’d been holding before she noticed the room’s sole occupant. He was an older man, but it was hard for her to guess his age as it was with most Healers. He was tall, and the width of his shoulders suggested he was also quite muscular. She overlooked his halfhearted smile, her eyes locking on his freshly pressed grey coat. It was a member of the Guard. She found Armaan’s face in the crowd, and it was smiling, smiling! He wasn’t surprised to see him; he looked happy. He must have known that the guard member would be there. Armaan moved forward quickly but paused when no one was following. He turned around slowly to face the crowd.

“What are you all waiting for? Come on, let’s get going.”

They stood in shock for a moment. He’d dropped the silence spell. He waved them on. Still no one moved to step through the doorway.

“Who is that?” an older woman asked bluntly.

“Come on, no time to waste. If you don’t want to come, please turn and leave now. We cannot have you in the hall in front of that door for any amount of time.” He stood tall and authoritative, but his eyes were locked on hers, pleading.

Nell wished she had more time to decide and that she didn’t trust Armaan so much, but she had no time and she did trust him, so she took a step forward. The Healers began to flow in behind her as she crossed the room and stood next to Armaan.

“Thanks,” he said to her quietly. “Now everyone move to the center of the room.” He gestured at his fellow Guard member. “The Ancients have a gateway set up here at all times. We’ll be taking it out of here.”

She saw a bright speck of light shining like a little star suspended above a table next to the Guard. Armaan glanced at his watch again, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was some kind of tic.

“And we need to hurry,” the man at the center of the room said.

Now that the spell had been dropped, she could hear the  institute and the roaring laughter of Guard members. It sounded so close. She doubled her pace. As the last Healer stepped into the center of the room, Armaan grabbed hold of her hand, and they were whipped through space. Nell was surprised at how much being pulled through the gateway felt like falling into a Scar. She was actually a little worried that a Scar had taken her right before the gateway did, but when she came out of the other side, she was still surrounded by the group of Healers. Nell blinked back the light that stung her eyes.

How was the sun still up? It must have been two a.m. As her eyes relaxed, she took in her surroundings. They were on the roof of a skyscraper that overlooked a large city. Geometric high risers were scattered about the city, and each of them had a unique design. One had distinctly triangular shapes throughout its architecture while another was rounded like a cylinder. Red roofs were in the far distance like a field of roses.

There was a busy river directly below them. Big colorful boats floated past carrying flashing billboards advertising businesses. Where were they? She was about to ask Armaan when he stretched his arms across the scene. His fair hair was glowing in the afternoon sun, and the look on his face made her wonder if he was actually going to embrace the view before him.

“Welcome to Shanghai!” he said with a smile.

The older Guard member stepped next to him and whispered in his ear. Armaan nodded once, but not before Nell saw a string of emotions flash across his face.

They didn’t stay on his face long enough for her to understand what he was feeling, and his face was all she had to go by. She couldn’t read his emotions at all, which was a strange thing for her.

“Well, everyone, please thank my good friend and superior Joseph. Without his help, every single one of those halls would have been running with Guard members,” Armaan said. “And thanks to his strategic master mind, the Guard was always moving around us.” He gestured at his friend, and the Healers all began thanking him.

Joseph’s face was stoic, and it didn’t seem that he cared much for their gratitude. “Yes, you’re welcome and all that. I must be going. Good luck in your new home,” Joseph said and then he spoke to Armaan. “And I’m sorry to be losing you.” At that, he turned and walked away.

“Come on, everyone, let’s get you home,” Armaan said as he turned away from the river.

“And where is that?” Nell asked without meaning to.

He turned to face her, his eyes bright with excitement.

“Some Healers call it home. Some call it a safe haven.” He paused and searched the faces around him. “But most just call it New Hovel,” Armaan said to a sea of stunned faces.

“New Hovel? You mean there are enough Healers for a whole new city?” someone asked in awe.

“New Hovel is a hundred times larger and just about as populated.” He let the statement sink in before he told them something even more shocking. “And don’t freak out when you see a sassy old woman wandering the grounds talking to herself. It’s her power that keeps New Hovel safely hidden.”

“One woman, how is that possible?” Nell whispered.

“Well, it’s not all that difficult for her. She’s an Ancient.”

15

Amanda landed gently on the soft forest floor. She knew she was back in the campsite and felt little need to open her eyes. She couldn’t even bring herself to peek, just to make sure she was where she should be. The bright sparks of light Bill had vanished into were still imprinted on the backs of her eyelids. She watched them get more intense as she closed her eyes tighter. Happiness and peace shot through her every time she pictured him leaving. She didn’t open her eyes until she heard Cole clear his throat next to her.

When she opened them, she was surprise to find him so close to her. He hovered over Amanda, inches from her face. His warm breath smelled sweetly of citrus. His dark eyes were shining with the rush of energy that comes with Healing a Scar. She’d never seen him so unguarded. So many emotions flooded off him it was hard to read just one; happiness, peace, longing, desire. The first two made sense, but what was he longing for?

Amanda couldn’t bring herself to think about the desire he was feeling. She shook her head, attempting to clear it. Forbidden thoughts invaded her mind, and it was hard to think straight.

She glanced back up at Cole and regretted the action. Seeing the way he was looking at her made the fog return. She raised a hand to his cheek, and he shivered at her touch. He leaned down toward her, closing the space between them. She wondered what he was doing but stayed perfectly still.

Cole was so near she could taste his breath on her lips. He put his hand on the nape of her neck and lifted her head, gently kissing her cheek. The soft touch of his lips on her skin snapped her control, and she pulled him closer. A wave of surprised bliss rolled off him before he laughed.

“I could lie in your arms all day. Unfortunately, we have an audience,” he whispered into her hair before pulling away.

Amanda looked over and saw Madgie staring down at her. She jumped up so fast she knocked heads with Cole. It took her a few seconds to right herself, but she couldn’t seem to look at Madgie. She knew the rules about getting that close to a man, and although she didn’t care about any rule laid down by the Ancients, she was terrified at what Madgie might think.

“You know, I could go search for more fire wood if you two have more teenage hormones to get out,” Madgie said bluntly

“No, ma’am. I have myself in check, though I don’t know that she does,” he said while suppressing his laughter. Amanda punched him in the arm.

“Ouch!” he said, rubbing his arm.

She felt much better and less embarrassed after hitting him. Amanda was actually more energized too, though she couldn’t understand why hitting him would do that. She turned her head and realized that the calming of her nerves was more likely due to the giant furry creature leaping out of the woods and landing next to her, though hitting Cole might have contributed a little.

Hey, buddy, I missed you. She thought ,scratching between his ears.

“Okay, enough fun. I need to talk to you about what just happened,” Madgie said flatly. “Amanda, what you did in there was amazing but extremely confusing. I’ve never met a Healer who entered a Scar with more than one spirit. Let alone more than one Healer. You just seemed to suck us in with you.”

“Wait, how do you know you or Cole didn’t suck me in with you?” she interjected, looking at them defiantly. Not wanting to be the odd one out, yet again.

“Well, there are a few reasons why I’m guessing it was you. Let’s see. You were the one who knew what was going to happen, you connected with those spirits, and you were the one who stepped forward and healed the Scar. Not to mention the fact that you are apparently powerful enough to completely heal from a demon poisoning after four days!” Madgie said in frustration.

Amanda looked down at herself, lifting up her arms and seeing that they looked normal, if not a little too bright. No dark venom tracing her veins, no pain came with her movements. Amanda was healed. She wanted to tear off her clothes and see if her whole body looked like her arms. Then remembering Cole, she realized it wasn’t a great idea. Blood rose to her cheeks, and Cole looked at her questioningly. Amanda fought back her joy and thought about what Madgie was telling her.

Was Madgie trying to say she was special or something? She wasn’t anything. She was only healed because of the wolf. She looked down at his head as she stroked it. Her hand was almost glowing against his silver fur, and she turned it over and saw that the strange pattern was still on her palm. It looked like a complex figure eight, as if an ice skater had gone wild while making it. She wasn’t sure how she had gotten it, but she knew it had to be from the demon.

“No, I’m not completely healed. See?” she said, turning her palm to Madgie.

Her friend’s eyes grew wide. Madgie slowly moved toward Amanda with her hand over her mouth. “What’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

Madgie reached out and gently took her hand. She lowered her head closer to the mark. “When did you notice this?” Cole was at Amanda’s side with a hand protectively on her shoulder, apparently she wasn’t the only one freaked out by

Madgie’s odd behavior.

“I said, when did you notice this?” she asked a bit louder while shaking Amanda’s hand.

“I… I guess it was Cole who noticed it. The night you were missing,” Amanda answered. Madgie was silently studying her palm for what seemed like a lifetime before Amanda shouted, “For goodness sake, what is the big deal, why are you freaking out?”

Madgie straightened her tall frame and finally looked into Amanda’s eyes. “That is the Ancient’s mark.”

Cole stiffened at the mention of the Ancients, a reaction in anger or fear, she couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry if I scared you. I’m just trying to understand what it means,” Madgie finished in an apologetic voice.

“Well, what does it mean? Why have they marked her? Will she be easier for them to find? Is it some kind of tracking spell?” Cole asked in a rush.

“I honestly don’t know. I’m a Healer and a teacher. I have never felt the wrath of the Ancients, though I don’t know how long I’ll keep that track record. This is way beyond me. I haven’t ever seen the mark on a Healer.” Madgie looked at her curiously. “How do you feel?”

Amanda thought about answering with a simple, ”I feel fine.“ But she didn’t think that was completely honest. She felt power flowing through her like she’d never before experienced. Amanda wondered if it was the lingering rush of healing the Scar but couldn’t be certain.

“I feel great.”

Madgie and Cole both looked unconvinced.

“No, honestly, I mean, better than great. I feel healthy and powerful. ’Powerful’ probably sounds cheesy, but that’s how I feel. I don’t know if I can find a better word,” Amanda finished, feeling awkward.

“Well, whatever the Ancients did, I think they accidentally did you a favor. If that mark is giving you power, maybe it’s why you healed so quickly,” Cole ventured. “I think it’s hilarious!” He laughed.

If the Ancients had done it by accident, then it was pretty funny. A smile stretch across her face, but when she looked at Madgie, her smile faded.

Her brow was creased in worry, and she didn’t look happy at all. If anything, she looked more confused than when Amanda had first woken up after being attacked. “I don’t know. The

Ancients don’t do much by accident,” Madgie said. “I don’t like it. The sooner we get you to Shiphra the better.”

“What do you mean ‘we’? I thought you said we should split up,” Amanda said. As much as she hated the idea of being away from Cole, she knew he would be safer away from her.

“That was before this happened,” Madgie said, gesturing to the mark. “If it’s a tracker then splitting up won’t help your chances.”

“But it will help yours!” Amanda shouted, though she didn’t mean to raise her voice.

Cole spun her around to face him, but she wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“You’ve both done too much for me. We need to do whatever is best for you. I can take care of myself, but I can’t stand here and let you put yourselves in danger for me. It isn’t right.”

She could feel Cole’s eyes boring into her, so she met his gaze. His dark eyes were wide and pleading. They pierced through her like a diver breaking the surface of water.

“Isn’t right? Would it be honorable for me to walk away and leave you unprotected? You know I can’t abandon you. You know I won’t. So why even talk like this?” he asked, fire burning in his eyes.

She looked down at her palm and the mark burned into it. Madgie was right. Whatever this mark was, it wasn’t going to help her. The Ancients don’t make mistakes. If they marked her, she was as good as dead. Amanda had to try to change their minds.

“Cole, you know I want you with me, it’s just that…” She bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling. “I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you. The Ancients have marked me. I want you as far from me as you can possibly get. Just take Madgie and leave. Please,” she begged.

Cole’s expression was unchanged, and she knew he wasn’t going to leave her.

“Don’t you think I feel the same way about you?” he asked, tightening his grip on her arms. “Do you think I could just carry on if something happens to you? I spent two years of my life away from you, and I’m not going to turn and walk away. Not just because you want to be brave. If you don’t want me around, I’ll leave, but not until you’re safe.” He loosened his hold and turned to Madgie. “So where do we go from here?”

“Well, like I was saying, Shiphra is our only hope at survival.”

“And she can help me find Kaedin, right?” Amanda asked quickly.

“I don’t know, she might be able to. Forget that for now. If you’re dead you sure as heck can’t find that Scar. We all need to meditate, thinking of Shiphra. Her face, her name… it’ll be harder for you Cole because you haven’t ever seen her, she was long before your time.” Madgie took a breath.

Cole quickly interjected. “If the Ancients have been hunting her for decades, how do we even know that Shiphra is alive?”

Reading his emotions, Amanda could see that putting their hope in someone who was practically a myth wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do.

“Well, that’s easy.” Madgie smiled. “How many Ancients did you see at Amanda’s trial?” She looked at them expectantly.

“Five,” he said certainly.

“Well, there are always six Ancients in existence. If one dies, another rises from the ranks. So since there were only five at the Hovel, Shiphra is still out there somewhere alive.” Madgie’s voice was so full of hope Amanda couldn’t help but jump on board.

“See, there you are, she’s definitely who we need to find. So let’s get meditating, unless the skeptic has more to add?” Amanda said, looking at Cole.

He shrugged.

“Okay, just tell me what to do,” she said to Madgie.

“Concentrate on her name, think of nothing but her. Try not to let your mind wander. It’s quite hard, but some monks can meditate for days, so fifteen minutes shouldn’t be too difficult… even for you,” she said, pointing at Cole.

“What? I’m not going to meditate. It’s not because I’m trying to be stubborn. I just don’t think it’s a good idea to have all three of us sitting in a circle with our eyes closed. We’re probably being hunted.”

Madgie’s face relaxed. “Good point. I guess I’m not very strategic,” she said with a laugh. “Okay, it’s just you and me.” She looked at Amanda. “Try to think of Shiphra and location. Tie the two together as if they were one thought. When the time is up, we’ll get together and discuss what we felt. I’m hoping we will have the same direction in our minds.” Madgie sat down and folded herself into a meditative pose that showed off her flexibility. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Amanda followed suit.

“Well, if it’s this easy to find her, how have the Ancients not found her?” Cole asked.

Madgie stayed in the same relaxed position, but peeled one eye open. “Because we will only find her if she wants us to. So if we have different directions at the end of this session, we can consider that an answer,” Madgie said in a calm tone, though Amanda could tell her patience was wearing thin.

Once her eyes were shut, Amanda started to close out the environment around her one sense at a time. First, she started with the sounds, the animal noises and the wind moving through the trees. She muted everything one by one. She shut off all of her senses, saving scent for last. It was always the strongest, at least she thought so. One aroma had the power to take you back in time.

The smell of roses took her back to helping the nuns prune the garden at her orphanage. Every time she smelled the clean perfume of rain she was back to cold nights on the street, when she had run from the Hovel, forever searching for shelter.

Whenever the heavy fragrance of earth reached her, she was brought back to the first time she’d entered a scar. She remembered coming out of it quickly and trying to dig herself back in.

She slowly shut out all of the smells floating toward her, saving Cole’s for last. It was a strange sensation, being alone in one’s mind with no outside stimuli. Amanda took a deep breath and began to roll through her memories of the person who had shared her cell back at the Hovel.

She brought herself back to the moment she’d held the large iron cuffs. The remembered sting of the cold metal was as real as the first time. Her muscles flexed at the memory of their weight in her small hands, not just their physical heaviness, but their emotional bulk as well. She let the emotions flow through her, pity, frustration, sorrow, and anger. Slowly she brought up the image of Shiphra, letting it gain clarity before studying it.

The woman’s face was just as sunken and haunting as the other Ancients she’d seen, yet somehow joy and life poured from her. Seeing her wild hair waving in the wind made her seem so much more tangible than the others. Shiphra looked solid and real. She looked like she belonged in this world. The rest of the Ancients almost seemed like mirages to her, glimmering people that upon approach turned into cactuses. She remembered her first impression of them, thinking that they looked like crude two-dimensional drawings.

“You’re not thinking of Shiphra,” Amanda chastised herself and returned to the task. She thought of the strange Ancient’s name and face and location, over and over again. It was hard to keep her mind from wondering. It felt like it took all of her energy to keep on task.

Amanda was relieved to finally be pulled out of her meditation by Cole shaking her vigorously. He was shaking her pretty hard. It must be a pain to get someone out of the meditative state. She brought all of her senses back as quickly as she could, starting with scent. Cole was close to her, and she’d wanted to catch a whiff of his amazing citrusy breath, but when the sense had fully returned, she didn’t smell Cole’s breath. She smelled the sickly sent of iron.

Blood.

She was immediately aware of everything around her, the ear-splitting noise, the heat, and still the blood. Her eyes flashed open, meeting Cole’s. Sweat was dripping from his brow, and his face was tight with strain.

“Which way, Amanda?” he yelled.

She jumped at the sight of a streak of silver whizzing by but realized it was just her wolf running a perimeter around them. Beyond that, she could see nothing but fallen trees and smoke.

“What’s happening, Cole? Where’s Madgie?” she asked desperately, still smelling the blood in the air.

“I have her! Now, which way? We need to get out of here,” he said.

She looked up and saw that he had Madgie’s thin body draped over his shoulder. For a moment, all she saw was red. A scarlet river flowed down the back of her friend, staining her delicate blouse and running down Cole’s arm. She couldn’t move or speak. Amanda knew she had to say something. They needed to move, but she couldn’t bring herself to. You’re in shock, snap out of it! she screamed at herself. Which way, which way? Where are you? she asked choking back tears.

“Here,” someone whispered from behind her. Amanda twirled toward the voice, ready to fight, but no one was there. “Here,” it sounded again.

She looked at Cole, but it was obvious he hadn’t heard it.

“This way,” she said, pointing to where the voice had come from.

She was certain she knew who’s voice it was. “Come on, Cole!” she shouted when he didn’t move.

Reading his emotions, she understood his hesitance. The attack must have come from that direction. She thought. She looked at her wolf and knew they could make it through. They didn’t have any other choice.

“Okay, Cole, do whatever you need to do, but get us through there. Don’t be afraid to take my energy. Believe me, I have more than enough,” she said, looking at her furry power source. “I’ll shield us the best I can, but I need to see what I can do for Madgie. She’s losing too much blood.”

Cole stepped in front of her and ran into the smoke, Madgie’s limp body flailing with every step.

“Oh, my, she looks like a rag doll.” Taking off after Cole, she threw up a shield with one hand and put her other over Madgie’s wound. Her flesh had been torn all the way to her shoulder blade. Life giving blood was still pouring out of the gaping hole.

Someone hit her in the back while she was meditating?

Who could do that?

Drawing energy from the wolf that was still running circles around them, she focused on healing Madgie. She had absolutely no idea what to do, no clue what spells a medical Healer would murmur. Amanda guessed it wouldn’t matter what they would do or say, because she knew they wouldn’t be able to help Madgie. Not with a wound that size. Heal. Heal. Close. Fix. She ran every word she could think of through her mind while trying to keep her shield up.

Her energy was draining rapidly, so she pulled her hand away from Madgie, not wanting to lose too much and collapse, leaving Cole alone to carry two unconscious women. When she removed her hand, she looked at Madgie’s shoulder, and her heart skipped a beat. The wound was closed though it wasn’t perfectly smooth, and it still held a reddish-pink tinge. Madgie’s eyes blinked open, and although they seemed to be in a dreamlike state, she could still see the fire behind them.

“Everything will be fine,” she said, just managing to keep back a flood of tears. “Madgie has stopped bleeding!” Amanda announced to Cole while switching her attention to putting up stronger shields. She tried not to count the attacks as they happened. She didn’t want to know how outnumbered they were. The constant pressure on her shield told her the outlook wasn’t good. As she built up their protection, an image flashed before her.

A rock, a slit in a rock. A cavern? She flexed as her shield was hit with a stronger attack. “Where?”

“Here.” The voice came from her left.

“Cole!” she shouted. “Dart left and start throwing that projection spell you used on Carter. I’ll keep the shield up. Just get us that way unnoticed, and don’t be afraid to use my energy. We won’t live through this if you don’t!”

Cole shot left, and her brain was scrambled for a second as dozens of replicas sprung up everywhere. She searched for their desired location and found it not too far away.

Amanda took a breath and was about to shout but the noise level had dropped. They weren’t being attacked anymore, she realized gratefully.

“There’s a cavern about two hundred yards ahead of us.

Keep an eye out for it,” she whispered just loud enough for him to hear. The farther they got away from the fight, the more she allowed herself to dwell on it. Grey cloaked figures had swept in and out of the smoke, launching attack after attack. Every face she had seen pop out of the haze had been a different one, though they had all held the same expression of rage and excitement.

How many were there? Twenty, thirty, or more?

“Amanda?” Cole asked.

She looked up and saw the wall of rock that had been shown to her. It was a giant grey dome at the footsteps of a cliff. Moss and foliage covered it, just like it had in her vision but there was no opening in it.

“That’s it. Maybe we just need to circle it, you know, find the opening,” she said, unsure.

Amanda thought she’d seen the opening in the face of the rock they were looking at, but she was wrong. Maybe she’d been wrong to follow the voice. She didn’t even know who was behind it.

They were twenty paces away when Cole paused. “Wait,” he said.

She stopped and looked at him, sure he would question even taking the time to find the opening.

“Look,” he said pointing up.

She turned her face away from him and saw the crack she’d seen in her vision.

“It’s right there. I didn’t see it before… Must have been a trick of the light.” He guessed, though he didn’t look convinced. The terrible clashing of the fight was still drifting toward them.

“Come on, let’s go,” she said, hurrying over the rocky  terrain toward the opening.

Cole followed her and grabbed her arm when they had reached the opening.

“How did you do that? I mean, you healed Madgie, you shielded us, and you lent me power for that distraction spell. Even with all of my training, I’ve never been able to keep it for that long, or control it from this distance. I could never have gotten us out alive. Did you see how many were out there! How, Amanda?” he asked in puzzlement.

She looked behind her in time to see her wolf’s bushy silver tail disappear into the cave. “Well, first don’t feel bad. It was you that got us out. You’re still carrying Madgie, aren’t you?”

Madgie grunted a little, but Cole’s eyes were still searching.

“And second, and don’t be freaked out by this, but I kind of have this huge wolf spirit following me around. Oh, and I seem to be the only one who can see him.”

Cole’s eyebrows reached for the stars. “What?” he asked as Madgie’s grunts became more audible.

Amanda shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, he’s been following me since the night Madgie was missing. I don’t know how, but he gives me all sorts of energy. I think he’s what healed me from the demon’s poison and Carter’s attack and that cloud of acid. Just pretty much everything that’s happened since we left home,” she said in a rush. When she stopped talking, she realized the battle had died down.

The distraction spell wasn’t working anymore. She quickly followed her wolf into the cave. The opening was narrow, and she found herself stuck a few times but finally emerged. Calling on light, she slowly brought the large room into view. Not a room, but a cave, she told herself. But it looked like no cave that she had ever seen.

Looking up, where she should have seen stalactites, she saw an intricate carving of a dragon. The dragon looked more serpent than bat, and its long scaly body wound itself around the ceiling of the cave with its giant head in the very center. The face of the creature had thick whiskers surrounding its mouth, which was full of large teeth.

She tore her eyes away from the ceiling and saw that the rest of the cave had been carved in the same oriental décor. Scattered throughout the space was stone furniture that had also been carved with intricate designs. A heap of silver fur already occupied one of the stone couches. Moving back to the opening, she saw that Cole was taking a little longer getting in. He was having trouble balancing Madgie, who seemed to be putting up a fight. Amanda couldn’t quite hear what Madgie was saying. Was it something about her?

“Calm down, Madgie. Just hold on one second,” Cole said. “Stay still. You’re hurt. You can see her in a second.” He finally emerged, looking dazed. “I think she’s in shock. She keeps hitting me and calling for you,” he said, taking her from his shoulder and laying her gently on the floor. “Wow! What is this place?” he asked before she could say anything.

Madgie sat up. “Amanda?” she cried.

Amanda rushed to her side and knelt down, putting her hand on the woman’s too-white cheek.

“What is it, Madgie? I’m here,” she said.

“You, you said… about a wolf. Only you see. Giving energy…” Madgie swayed in place, and Cole put a hand on her back to steady her.

“Yes, Madgie, that’s what I said.” She turned to Cole. “This is good. It means she’s coherent enough to—”

Madgie interrupted her quietly. “The mark, the wolf. Do you… Do you understand what this means?” she asked.

Amanda had to strain her ears to hear; her voice was getting weaker. “No, Madgie, what does it mean? Have you figured out why they marked me?” she asked desperately.

“Not them, it’s a…” Madgie’s eyes slowly closed. Amanda waited for them to open again, but they didn’t. She looked over at Cole.

“I guess we’ll have to wait to find out just what it is,” he said. “But for now, she needs fluids and any nutrition we can get in her.”

She looked around the room and expected to see a banquet. After all, furniture had been supplied, but there was nothing. Not even water.

“Maybe I should go out in an hour or so. I can collect some supplies. We are way unprepared,” she said, gazing at the crack.

He looked at her in puzzlement. “I’m not sending you out there. I’ll go. You can stay here and tend to Madgie. She needs someone with her at all times.” Had he already forgotten that she could take care of herself? That she could take care of all of them? “No, I think I have to go. I don’t think the cave will open for you,” she said matter-of-factly.

“What do you mean, open? I got in here fine the first go around,” he said, obviously annoyed.

“Well we didn’t see the opening at first, and I think it was because she was making sure I wanted you to come in too.” She wasn’t sure if it made any sense to him, but she was fairly certain that was the reason they didn’t see the opening at first. Shiphra put this place here for her, and it would open for her. She knew that even if the Guard were right outside of the walls, they would never see an opening or even think about this as a hiding place.

“Who?” he asked, interrupting her thoughts.

“Who, what?” she asked.

“Who was making sure you wanted me to come in?” he asked.

“Oh, sorry. I forgot you didn’t know what was going on. Shiphra led us here. She guided me through the fight and showed me this safe haven, and having seen the inside, I’m guessing she did more than lead us to a hideout. I think she created one,” she said, looking around the room.

“Well, if you don’t think it will open without you, we’ll go together,” he said simply.

“Ah, but you said someone needs to stay with Madgie, and

I agree with you. So it looks like you’ll stay here, and I’ll go find some food and water.” She returned her gaze to him and almost laughed when she saw how red his face was.

“Do you know how impossible you are?” he shouted, throwing his arms in the air and walking across the room. “Do you even care how hard it is for me to…?” Cole seemed to be searching for the right words but just plunked down on one of the chairs, giving up. Seeing him with his head in his hands as if his world were about to crumble was too much. She felt a tug on her heart and followed it across the room.

“Cole?” she whispered, putting a hand on his head. His body moved reflexively closer to her, but he didn’t look up. “Listen, I’m not trying to hurt you. I would never do anything to hurt you.” slowly lifted his head up to her, and she could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

“It’s just that you can’t take care of me all the time. You aren’t going to be around every minute of my life to protect me. I mean, you will have to go to the bathroom sometime, right?” She sat down beside him and guided his head into her lap, thinking he would resist, but he didn’t. Lifting his legs, he stretched out across the stone couch. “You need to get some rest unless you plan on learning how to protect me while sleep walking.”

“I’m fine. I don’t need to sleep,” he said through a yawn, reminding her of a child who didn’t want to take a nap.

Suppressing her laughter, she ran her fingers soothingly through his dark curls. His hair was softer than feathers. After a few minutes of combing through it, her eyelids were heavy with sleep. She kept herself awake by creating a list of things she needed to collect when she went out, which would be in a few minutes. She thought the best time to venture out was when Cole was fast asleep and therefore not going to worry.

She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. He looked more peaceful than she’d ever seen him. His beautiful face, smoothed of all lines of worry, made him look like he didn’t have a problem in the world. With him so close to her, it was easy to forget that they had problems. Thinking back to what they’d just miraculously made it out of, she realized how many problems they had.

After what happened with Carter, she’d told herself it was an isolated incident. She thought that Frey and Carter were uniquely cruel and hateful people. She didn’t believe every Guard member could be like them, even after learning about how a Guard member is made. But she’d been wrong. The thirty or so people who had just tried to murder them had made it clear.

All of them are like Frey and Carter. Evil.

Remembering Cole had once trained with the Guard, she paused, but he’d done something about it. He’d left the Guard and was now haunted by terrifying memories that he could never talk about. Why hadn’t the Ancients just taken the memories away from him? Would that have been too kind a thing to do? Did they just enjoy the fear and pain it brought him?

Amanda shook her head, trying to rid herself of the angry thoughts rolling through her mind. She needed to go find food and water. It had been too long since they’d had anything to eat or drink. The back of her throat was itching with the need of fluids. It was a feeling she hadn’t had since returning to the Hovel, but a sensation her body was still used to. It was hard for her to get up even after she was positive Cole was asleep. His head felt so comfortable in her lap, and she didn’t know when it would rest there again. She stayed, allowing herself just a few selfish moments, before gently getting up and making her way out of their safe haven.

16

Amanda was surprised to find it was still daylight, which was both good because it would be easier to find what she was looking for, and bad because not as much time had passed as she’d thought. She tried to ignore the bad because she didn’t have the choice to turn back as her burning throat was a constant reminder of how badly they needed supplies. If she felt this terrible, how was Madgie feeling after losing all of that blood? A calming blanket of energy encompassed her, and she spun around.

Her wolf stood a few paces behind her, wagging his tail slowly. She smiled at how much he looked like a puppy in a pet store window, the pleading take-me-with-you in his eyes.

“Sorry, buddy,” she said, scratching behind his ears. “You know you need to stay with them. I’ll be fine.”

His ears dropped and his tail stopped wagging, but he headed back. It broke her heart to see him sad, but Cole and

Madgie needed watching over… even if they couldn’t actually see the being watching over them.

Pushing aside the vegetation, she stepped back into the Asian forest and strained her ears, hoping to hear running water. She could just make out the babble of a brook. Water was the most important thing for Madgie now. Amanda gathered food as she walked, scooping up different sized mushrooms, which were easy to find. She didn’t need to worry about what was and wasn’t poisonous, and not because she memorized any nature study guides. Much like how she could see the light or darkness in people, she just knew what she could and couldn’t eat.

On the rather long journey to the water source, she found quite a few goodies. There were some more of the wild rose bushes Cole had so expertly recreated, and she picked a few of the flowers to make a tea for Madgie. Bamboo groves shot up everywhere, so she pulled up some of the younger shoots. Trees with grey bark held loads of pods resembling green beans, and a few berry bushes were ready for picking. By the time she reached the stream, all of her pockets and her make-shift satchel were full of food.

The stream was rather small, but it was fast moving and fairly clean of contaminants. She’d have to pull a few minerals and bacteria out of the water before drinking it, but it was better than she’d hoped for. She knelt down on the moist bank, enjoying the refreshing cool air that seemed to linger around fresh water. Her left hand fumbled at her side, searching for Madgie’s leather canteen. Her hand moved around more urgently, checking her right side and then searching her back.

It was gone. She must have dropped it. That was the only thing they had to carry water in. How could she lose it? Her mind raced, trying to place when she’d dropped it, but she couldn’t remember something that she’d never noticed. She looked around and saw a plant with long skinny leaves and thought of Cole.

Maybe she could weave them into a basket. She moved toward the bush.

Leaving the poor plant almost naked, she sat on the bank, attempting to weave the leaves into something useful. Her fingers wouldn’t move like his had with a sort of skilled delicateness, and after five minutes, half of the leaves were crumbled beyond use, and her cramping hands had red slices all over them. And people whine about paper cuts! She cursed, rubbing her hands and glaring at the uncooperative leaves.

A quiet laughter reached her ears, and she spun around quickly. Standing behind her was a tall boy with golden blond hair and an impish smile. He didn’t look like he meant her any harm, and he wasn’t wearing the uniform of the Guard, but it didn’t matter. She could sense the dark absence in him. He was a member of the Guard. She jumped quickly to her feet.

“Here, this might be of use to you. I don’t think that’s working out,” he said, offering her the missing canteen.

Her feet told her to flee, but she didn’t know where to run to. She couldn’t go back to the cave. She would lead them right to Cole and Madgie.

“You’re not too good at making decisions, are you?” the blond boy asked rather sarcastically. He wore a bright charming smile that she wanted to slap off his face. “I can see the wheels in your head turning. Run or talk? Let me help you come to a decision. I’ll catch you if you run.” She was about to object when he lifted his hand. “And I think we need to talk.”

“You’re a member of the Guard. You and your buddies almost murdered my friend a few hours ago! What could I possibly want to discuss with you?” she shouted, surprising herself.

Amanda had always had a temper, but he ruffled her feathers quicker than anyone she’d ever met. Even after she yelled at him, he still looked annoyingly cocky.

“Well, we could discuss the person who sent me here…” He paused letting a dazzling smile dance on his handsome face. “She was under the impression you were seeking her, but perhaps she was wrong.” He shrugged and let the corners of his mouth turn down. “She isn’t usually wrong.”

Amanda’s head was spinning. What was he talking about? Shiphra? The name was almost past her lips when she stopped herself. He was trying to get her to talk about Shiphra. Did the Ancients want to know if Amanda could find her?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said quickly.

The boy shook his head, sending his golden locks into a tizzy, and held up his hands. “Listen, I know that you are scared and confused right now, but I’m not going to hurt you. You think I’m a member of the Guard, and two days ago you would have been right, but I’m not a Guard member anymore,” he said in a sweet voice.

She wished she could ignore his sincerity, but she couldn’t. She believed him.

“I haven’t been a true Guard member for three years now,” he said.

“What do you mean a ‘true guard member’?” she asked in puzzlement.

He took a step forward, gesturing toward a rock. She nodded, and he took a seat. The muscles in her body loosened as he sat. Sitting wasn’t a tactical position if he meant to attack her, and she felt less threatened.

“I’ll get to your question in a second, but can you answer me something?” he asked.

“Umm, depends on the question,” she said curtly.

Amanda didn’t know why she was so short with him. He hadn’t been anything but nice to her. However, something about his good looks and darkness reminded her of Frey.

“Fair enough,” he said with a smile. “Cole is traveling with you, isn’t he?” he asked, tensing her muscles again.

She thought about lying, but didn’t see a point. Everyone had to know he was. “Yes,” she replied.

“Sorry to get you on edge again. Don’t worry. I like Cole. I looked to him almost like a brother at one time,” he said wistfully. “Anyway, I can tell you’re close to him.”

Her mouth fell open.

“Well, your hand did turn into a fist at the mention of his name,” he said with a smile. “Either he’s in trouble, or you were planning on hitting me in the face, and since Cole never gets into trouble—”

“Get on with it!” she yelled. This guy was exasperating!

“Okay, well since you’re close, you probably know he used to be a member of the Guard. He got out, had a nice binding spell put on him and all that. Well, I tried to get out too, only I wasn’t about to ask permission from The Ancients. I wasn’t going to kneel before them and ask to be reassigned. So, I ran. I left the Hovel when I was thirteen.” He paused. “I know, I know. You and I are almost kindred spirits.” He smiled.

“But, you said… two days ago. You stopped being a member two days ago,” she stuttered.

“Yeah well, three years ago I found Shiphra. She asked me to remain at the Hovel. Remain a Guard member.” His voice had become sharp, and she saw the darkness within him come out. He shook his head and replaced his smile. “It was a hard thing for her to ask of me, I could tell, but they wanted people on the inside to watch and help those that needed helping.”

“What do you mean? How would posing as a Guard member help anyone?” she asked skeptically.

“I gave Shiphra information I learned by being close to the Guard members and The Ancients. I helped Healers who didn’t want to be there get out, Healers like you and me. I helped them find their new home.”

“Wait a minute, other Healers left? I wasn’t the only one?” she asked, breathlessly feeling a weight lift off her chest.

He stared at her with understanding eyes. “Yep, you and me were the only ones stupid enough to go back, that’s all,” he said with a grin. “People leave that place pretty regularly. It tears The Ancients up that they can’t stop the steady leak. The thing that makes them crazy is that they know only one thing could put the Healers beyond their reach. Shiphra has them under her wing.”

“Shiphra is hiding Healers from them?” She was baffled. How was it possible she knew nothing about this person a week ago?

“Why wouldn’t she? Unlike us, she never ran from responsibility. She just stood up to oppression. When the other Ancients started to look at the Healers as their possessions, she said no. Anyway, she was forced to run and has been trying to save as many Healers as she could from a distance, leading them to her,” he said. The tone of his voice showed his admiration and devotion to his leader.

“That’s how I found New Hovel. After I ran away, I just went where my feet took me, and a few weeks later, I was standing next to her.” He shrugged.

“So, why are you here?” she asked.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I thought I made it clear earlier. Shiphra sent me to fetch you,” he said.

She looked him up and down ignoring his devilish good looks. He was tall and seemed confident in his abilities, but she didn’t think this baby-faced boy was special enough to be a one- man task force.

“Why did she send you? Just you?” she asked in bewilderment.

His smile faded, and he puffed up his chest.

“If we run into another thirty Guard members, I don’t think one guy is going to be much help,” she said.

“She had her reasons,” he said in a light voice. “You’re more trouble than any refugee I’ve ever helped, do you know that? Nell told me you two were practically sisters… I thought maybe you would be more like her. You know, helpful. But you couldn’t be more different,” he said, shaking his head.

“Nell? How do you know Nell?” she asked in a high voice that made her cringe.

“She was in the last group I took out of the Hovel. Actually, she’s kind of the reason I couldn’t go back to being a Guard member. I beat a guy down, and apparently, word spread that I couldn’t be trusted. I’ll forever be grateful to her,” he said dreamily.

“She’s safe in this New Hovel, right?” Amanda asked.

“Yes, she’s safe. Much safer than she was at the old one anyhow. I wish I could have gotten more out. You don’t know how bad things have gotten back there. It was like The Ancients were being wound tighter and tighter every decade, and this thing with you finally made them snap.” His blue eyes bore into her. “They aren’t pretending anymore. They openly killed a Healer in front of everyone. Guard members line the hallways, preventing escape. It’s crazy. I never thought I’d see it, but then again, Shiphra is never wrong.”

“What do you mean? She knew this would happen?” she asked.

He closed one eye and scratched his head. “Well, I don’t know if she knew exactly how it would go down, but she knew The Ancients would snap. She worried that every Healer they lost was just another straw on the camel’s back, and she was right. I suppose she knows them a lot better than any of us.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Baal told me he might as well be God, which isn’t all that shocking. I saw the way he looked at the Healers, and he thinks of them as power, not people,” she said.

“Wait, he actually said that to you?” he asked in astonishment.

“Well, he told me in my mind so no one else would hear, but yeah he did. He was thinking I’d be dead though. I think he likes showing his true colors to people that aren’t going to be around anymore.”

“You have no idea,” he said, standing up. “The things I saw when I was on the Guard. Baal loved the sight of blood…” He stopped and looked at her apologetically.

“Don’t worry. I know you can’t talk about it. Neither can Cole,” she said.

He shook his head and moved to the stream, dipping the canteen in the cool water. “No, I can talk about it. I just don’t want to. The things I witnessed aren’t topics of civilized conversation.”

“But, Cole can’t talk about it,” she said furrowing her brow.

“Funny thing about the Ancient’s magic, if an Ancient has done it, an Ancient can undo it. Shiphra told me it was like Newton’s law of physics. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction and all that. It takes the same amount of energy to do something as it does to undo it. So she just took the binding spell off of me.”

So she could take it off Cole too? Would he want to talk about those things, even if he could? she wondered, spending a moment in thought before realizing the blond boy was still talking. In fact, she wasn’t sure he was able to stop.

“That’s why they locked Shiphra up instead of killing her, you know. I’m sure they would have given all of the Healer’s lives to put her down, but it doesn’t work that way. It takes an Ancient to take out an Ancient,” he said, looking back over his shoulder.

“Why is that?” she asked.

“It just takes so much energy to kill an Ancient, probably would have taken more than most to put her down too.” He chuckled.

“Seems like it would have been easy. Five against one.” “Sure they outnumbered her, so they could have, but it wouldn’t have been easy. I wouldn’t want to be on the other end of a fight with Shiphra. She understands and controls magic and energy like no one else. In the end, they just wouldn’t risk their own lives.” He laughed, shaking the excess water from his hands as he stood up. “My name is Armaan, by the way. If you’re done interrogating me, we can go now,” he said, looking into the darkening forest.

She followed his gaze and thought that they probably should head back. “I’m Amanda, but I’m sure you already know that,” she said. “I need to head back to Cole and Madgie; you can come with me. Just stay behind me in case we’re attacked.”

She moved her eyes from the forest back to Armaan. The right corner of his mouth was turned up in a half smile. How many darn smiles can one person have? She was immediately annoyed at herself for even noticing.

“You want me,” he said, gesturing to his large frame. Blood rose to her cheeks, and she was about to argue when he continued. “To stand behind you.” His hand rested on the top of her head, which was a good foot lower than his. “In case we’re attacked?” He finished with an eyebrow cocked skeptically.

“Yes, you idiot, and get your hand off my head.” She swatted away his big palm.

“Wow, calm down. I just had to make sure I had it right.”

He moved behind her and crouched down. “Onward bodyguard!” Armaan whispered.

Amanda growled. “Have I called you an idiot yet?” she asked moving forward.

“Yes, yes, you have,” he said, following in her footsteps. “I think I found the one thing you and Nell have in common.”“And what’s that?” She let go of a branch early and sent it smacking into Armaan’s face.

“Ouch!” he said, rubbing his cheek. “I was going to say bravery. But now I see you volunteered to lead the way out of sheer jealousy.”

“Jealousy?”

“It’s okay. I’m not mad. I’ve dealt with this kind of thing my whole life. You’re jealous of my chiseled face and want to see its destruction,” he said in an overly dramatic voice.

She tried to stop her laughter, but was unsuccessful. “Well, I do believe people have been smacking you in the face your whole life,” she said.

It was silent as they walked, and they had just reached the densest part of the forest when he put a hand on her shoulder. She stopped, waiting for him to say something funny.

“What is it now?” Did he not understand that she needed to get back to Madgie? He didn’t say anything, so she turned around.

He had his head down, but being so tall, she could still see his face. It looked torn, searching even. His brow was furrowed, and most of the light had gone from his eyes. He had his lips pursed together, as if he were trying to prevent himself from speaking, but when he met her gaze he wasn’t able to stop himself.

“Why are you so angry with me?” he asked in a breath.

His question took her so off guard she took a turn hiding her face. He looks so miserable, she thought guiltily.

“I know that’s probably a stupid question with all that’s going on. It’s just… I’ve heard about you for so long. I mean, you were even a topic of discussion in the Guard before all of this. You leaving the way you did. Most Healers who run just disappear without a trace, hoping everyone will forget them or assume the worst had happened to them in a Scar. But you, you stick a note to the message board.” He paused.

She was glad to see the light had returned to his eyes. He seemed so full of life. She wondered how he could exude such excitement. When she reached her energy out to his, she felt only darkness and death. Yet he was standing before her, eyes gleaming brighter than a child’s on Christmas morning. How could he do that? How could he be all darkness and a bright beacon of light at the same time? “Your note is the reason I left the Hovel. You saved my life,” he said.

Her throat tightened, and she almost choked on her tongue. “How is that possible?” she asked through a cough.

“I woke up early the morning you ran. No one else was up, but I was usually the first person wandering the halls. The nightmares were so strong back then…” He raised his hand to his head and began to rub his temple as if to massage out whatever bad memory had worked its way into his mind.

What did they do to those boys? She didn’t want to know the answer.

He opened his eyes after a moment and smiled apologetically before continuing. “I was looking for Cole. He was in the Guard with me, and I always felt saner when he was around. He wasn’t in his normal hideouts, so I went to grab breakfast early. I was in the dining hall before all of the shouting and hysterics. When I showed up, there was only one person standing in front of the message board. Cole.”

The ground seemed to shift below her feet, and she thought she might fall.

“We never cared about what happened around there. So, I didn’t understand why he stood there, still as a statue, mesmerized by a lone piece of paper. But when I got to him, I understood. The words on them affected me like nothing ever had, and there were so few of them, just five small words. ‘I’m leaving because I can.’ I left two weeks later. You inspired me.”

The way he said her words, annunciating everything precisely, made it clear the scrawled-out sentence was of the utmost importance to him. She didn’t want to shoot the wind out of his sails, but she had to.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but that isn’t what I wanted to say,” she said honestly.

Amanda was glad for a moment when he looked so surprised, and then she reminded herself he was a good person. Not like Frey. He wasn’t her enemy. They just looked so like one another.

“What do you mean, ‘that isn’t what you wanted to say’? You started a movement with those words, Amanda. You’re the face of freedom and bravery to so many Healers,” he said almost hysterically.

“Bravery? Heck, I was too much of a coward even to finish my own sentence. I was going to say, ‘I’m leaving because I can’t take this anymore,’ Or something along those lines. It’s been awhile,” she said with a shrug.

His eyes drilled into her. “You inspired me and started an underground rebel movement with an unfinished sentence?” he asked.

“Well, this is the first I’m hearing about an underground movement, but yeah, I guess I did.”

She was worried he might be angry, sad, or disappointed in her, but that wasn’t even close to his reaction. He chuckled.

Then his chuckle turned into a deep belly laugh. Laughing? How could he be laughing when she’d just told him that his inspiration in life was meaningless?

“Are you okay?”

He wiped a tear from his eye and shook his head. “Wow, you are even more amazing than I guessed!” he said, patting her shoulder.

“I see you’re a fan of sarcasm,” she said through her teeth.

“No, no.” He coughed, clearing his throat, and straightened. “I’m being perfectly sincere. You’re probably the only person in the history of the world who could ever positively affect an entire people with a sentence fragment.”

He laughed, and she joined him. It felt amazing to laugh with him. She’d been tight as piano wire for so long her body had started to ache.

“Sorry if I wasn’t nice to you. I’m sort of new to having enemies. Well, real I-want-to-kill-you type enemies. I’ve had the I-think-you‘re-scum types for a while, and you kind of remind me of one of them, and not just because you’re both on the Guard. From what you told me, you’re a far better person than I am. I guess I just can’t trust my instincts anymore, probably getting too paranoid,” she said apologetically.

The relaxed atmosphere she’d been enjoying disappeared, as did the Armaan she knew. A blank-faced monster stood before her. His light seemed to have drained from him, and he grew darker by the second.

“Armaan?” she said, touching his unmoving shoulder.

“Armaan, I’m sorry if I said anything to upset you. I didn’t mean to. I’m no good with words.”

Darkness rolled from him and began to blot out the little sun light they had left.

“Stop this, Armaan, you’re freaking me out!” she said.

Ignoring the hammering of her fear-driven heart, she moved closer to him. Amanda wasn’t frightened of him, just the darkness that had been instilled in him. Putting her hands out on either side of him, she rubbed his arms, trying to get him out of whatever state he’d fallen into.

“Armaan?” she said, seeing the light come back into his eyes.

He shook her hands off him gently and took a few steps away from her. She moved forward, but he stopped her.

“Please, just stay there for a second,” he begged, putting his head between his knees.

She wanted to console him somehow but didn’t know what to say to someone struggling through such inner turmoil. How did a person stay good and true to themselves with so much darkness thrust upon them? Who would Cole be had he not gotten out? The thought sent a cold shiver down her spine.

“I’m sorry if I set you off. Are you okay?” she asked.

He straightened and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m real sorry you had to see that. I get that way sometimes when people mention my brother,” he whispered.

“What do you mean?” she asked, perplexed. “I don’t even know who—”

“I wouldn’t stop trusting your judgment if I were you.” He looked up and met her gaze with dark eyes. “You took one look at me and saw him.”

No.

“Saw my brother, saw your enemy.”

Please no!

“Saw Frey.” He choked over his brother’s name, like it made him sick to say it.

She wanted to scream. How could Shiphra send the brother of the person whose face she saw when picturing the enemy? If she thought she might have trusted him less after such a revelation, she was wrong. She couldn‘t bring herself to look at him any differently. He looked so ashamed. Why should he feel ashamed for the thing that his brother was. It wasn’t his fault, and it wasn’t even Frey’s.

“It isn’t your fault you’re related to him,” she almost shouted. “Worry about the things you can control, like getting us safely to New Hovel.”

She turned to move forward, but he held her back.

“You don’t care that he’s my brother?” he asked in a rush.

“Well, Shiphra doesn’t seem to care, so why should I?” she said as lightly as she could manage, trying to assure him it didn’t matter at all. “And it isn’t his fault he’s the way he is, it’s the—” She was going to tell him that his brother wouldn’t be like this had the Ancients not made him that way, but he interrupted her.

“No, it is his fault. There’s a choice in everything. Even when you’re forced into something you never wanted, you can fight it. You can hate it. He didn’t. He chose to enjoy what he called ‘freedom’.”

“Let’s just get you back. I don’t want to talk about this.”

He started walking then stopped and spoke over his shoulder. “Thanks for saying it doesn’t matter. I can’t tell if you mean it, but it’s a nice thing for you to say.”

They walked together side by side. She didn’t feel the need to stay in front of him. Although she could tell he felt the need to be shielding her, he had gradually lengthened his stride until she had to take three steps to match one of his. It didn’t tire her out as it should have, it just annoyed her slightly. Was every guy she met going to treat her like a wounded baby bird?

“Can you stop trying to outrun me. You don’t even know where we’re going,” she said, trying to keep her annoyance out of her voice.

“Sure, sorry. I tend to walk fast when I’m nervous,” he said, slowing his pace.

“Why are you nervous?” she asked, not understanding what he had to be worried about.

“I uh… don’t know how Cole is going to react when he sees me,” he said, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “He doesn’t know who I really am and the person he thinks I am is definitely not going to be welcome around him or you. He hates me.” He put a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry. Cole trusts me. Even if he doesn’t trust you, he’ll listen to me,” she assured him.

“I wouldn’t sound so sure about that if I were you,” he said quietly.

She was going to ask him why he thought Cole wouldn’t want him near them, but Armaan had already started walking.

He didn’t know what he was talking about. Cole couldn’t hate anyone. Especially not Armaan, he was so easy to like. Once you got around his resemblance to his brother.

They were near the opening, and she was surprised that Armaan had led them to the correct spot. She had been so involved in her thoughts she forgot to tell him where to go. She realized he knew where they were going the whole time. Of course, he knew where they were staying, he’d known where to find her, after all.

She turned to him. He didn’t seem to notice her studying him, too lost in worrisome thoughts. His jaw was clenched tightly. The flexed muscles partnered with the evening light cast haunting shadows across his boyish face, making him appear older and sharper than he was. Or maybe it was his nerves that made him look this way. She guessed this might be the way a soldier looks before going into battle. She broke through the trees entering the clearing before Armaan. He had fallen back without her noticing. She wasn’t paying any attention to him, having caught sight of the cave and the familiar person running toward her screaming.

17

It took her longer than it should have to process the words Cole was shouting at her. Both because it was a shock to see him running at her screaming and because her worrisome mind automatically assumed something had happened with Madgie. Once she understood his words and the reason behind them, she relaxed.

“Run! Amanda, get away from him, run!” he said.

She looked around to try to find Armaan, but he was still somewhere in the brush. Cole had reached where she was and put himself between her and the dark forest.

“Get yourself into the cave. I’ll cover you,” he said over his shoulder, his dark eyes never leaving the shadowy wall of trees. “It’s okay, Cole. Shiphra sent him. He’s here to help us. Come out Armaan!” she shouted around Cole who tensed as soon as the name passed her lips.

“You think Shiphra sent him, Amanda? Have you learned nothing over the past few days? You can’t trust a member of the Guard. They’ve been–” His body lurched forward, but he straightened himself quickly as one of the shadows stepped into the clearing.

“I can get that fixed for you,” Armaan said, putting a hand to his throat and making a choking gesture. “Shiphra lifted my gag, I’m sure she can do the same for you,” he offered with a wave of his large hand.

As Armaan stepped out into the little light left of the day, Cole flinched slightly as if the mere sight of him was a blow.

“Go to the cave please; I don’t want you to see this,” Cole whispered to her. “Leave now and I won’t hurt you,” he said to Armaan.

His words sent a wave of shock rolling through her, and her mouth fell open, but Armaan seemed unfazed.

“What?” she asked in bewilderment. “Did you not hear what I just said? He’s here to help us! Cole, listen,” she pleaded as he readied his stance.

“Will you be leaving or not?” he asked again firmly.

Armaan scratched the side of his head in false contemplation. “Um… no,” Armaan said with a smile.

Amanda threw her hands up. Why did he have to try to get under Cole’s skin? He was making her want to attack him.

“She’s telling the truth you know. Shiphra sent me here to guide you to her, and I don’t often fail my duty.”

“No, you don’t often fail your masters. I do believe that to be true. Amanda is just confused as to who is pulling your strings,” Cole said.

“Don’t tell me that I’m confused! You’re the only one confused here. I’m telling you he’s here to help us. Can’t you trust me?”

“You know I trust you, just not with this. He has a silver tongue and can spin a tale. That’s why girls listen to him, girls like you, and every one of the pretty little things who follows him around turns up missing. Do you want to know why?” he asked through his teeth. he felt Cole’s anger become more and more concentrated, turning into something resembling hatred.

“Because Guard members like to have fun with women and the women end up…” Cole swayed a little so she steadied him with her hand.

“It isn’t what you think. He hasn’t been working for the Ancients. He has never been a Guard member. All of those girls you’re talking about ended up in New Hovel, the city that Shiphra protects. Nell is there now waiting for us,” she explained, hoping he’d listen. Amanda could feel Cole’s doubt, but she knew Armaan wasn’t lying to her. She didn’t know how she knew, but she did.

“You don’t understand the things I’ve seen him do, the terrible stories I’ve heard him tell,” Cole said in a haunting voice.

“It was all part of the act. I had to pretend to be somebody that made me sick for the greater good. I wish I could have had your life, Cole. You were free to be yourself, free to think the worst of me. You could choose to have attachments.” Armaan’s eyes flickered toward Amanda for a longing moment. “I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not this terrible person you think I turned out to be. You remember who I am. We were practically brothers, Cole.”

“That was before you became just like your blood brother. You are nothing to me now,” Cole said.

Her heart fell as Armaan’s despair reached her, and she could no longer stay behind Cole’s protective arms. She darted in between the two men and stared into Cole’s dark eyes. “How could you say that? Can’t you feel how badly you’re hurting him? He’s coming with us whether you like it or not, and I’m not about to let you go running off on your own—”

“I would never run off and leave you!” Cole interjected.

“I know that,” she assured him as calmly as possible. If this trip lasted more than two days, she would be completely bald from ripping her hair out. “You don’t trust Armaan, and I do. I see why you’re having such a hard time with this, but even though you don’t trust him, I know you trust me.” She stepped closer to him, closing the distance she had put between them, and cupped his cheek.

His eyes bore into hers pleadingly, and she was lost in them. She didn’t know who had first said that the eyes were the windows to the soul, but she was reminded of how true the adage was. Cole broke the silence that had settled over the clearing, and when she came back to herself, she noticed the day’s light was now gone.

How long were we like that? she wondered, feeling bad for ignoring Armaan for so long.

“She wants you with us, so you may come with us, but I will be watching you,” Cole said coldly.

Armaan’s face lit up in one of his dazzling smiles. “Are you sure that you can watch me with her around? She seems to be the only thing you can keep your eyes on,” he said gesturing to Amanda with a wink.

Heat crept into her cheek, and she wanted to laugh but instead told him to shut up.

“Do you want him around twenty-four/seven? It could be a long journey,” Cole said through his teeth.

Armaan’s smile stretched wider.

“Stop being proud of yourself for being annoying!” she shot at Armaan. “And yes, I still want him to come.” She squeezed Cole’s large hand and made to let go but he kept it in place.

“Don’t worry; we’re pretty close to New Hovel. We should be there by tomorrow, and if you tell me that one day of my company is too much to bear, it would be a terrible shot to my self-esteem,” Armaan said dramatically.

She wanted to tell him that a shot to his self-esteem would be a good thing, but her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of how nice Cole’s warm hand felt holding hers.

“As much as I enjoy standing in the dark watching you look at each other and hold hands bashfully, I’d like to get some rest, so that I can watch you do something cute tomorrow with the sharpest of senses,” Armaan announced and bowed formally before walking off toward the cave.

She was getting used to Armaan’s embarrassing remarks and barely felt the warmth in her cheeks. “Has he always been so strange?” she asked Cole in a whisper.

“He has always been different; I thought it was because of how bad his childhood must have been, what with Frey as an older brother always making everything a joke. But then he turned into Frey.”

“Armaan isn’t like his brother, you’ll see. He’s been through so much, and he still cares about what you think of him. You should try to be there for him,” she said, glancing sideways, trying to gauge his reaction.

“Don’t worry. I do trust you, and if you trust him, I will try  to.”

She was glad that he was trying to have faith in her judgment, but she wished he could forget the Armaan he thought he knew.

“Thanks for letting him stay. You’ll be glad you did when we walk into New Hovel tomorrow and all of your worries are put to rest. Come on, let’s go,” she said, dragging him after Armaan.

When they reached the cave, she wasn’t surprised that Armaan had already gone inside. Of course, it would open for him. Shiphra had made this safe haven, and she sent him to help them, so naturally he didn’t need her to get in. That was another reason to believe in Armaan. As they made their way into the light of the cave, she saw that Madgie was still deathly pale.

“Oh, Cole! Isn’t there anything we can do for her?”

“You have already done everything you can,” Armaan said from one of the stone couches. “Assuming you’re the one who healed her. Just let her rest and try to pour some fluids in her. You’ll have to guide the water down or she’ll choke on it.”

“Well, get your butt off of that couch and warm the water in that canteen, I’ll make her some tea.” She took the bamboo leaves and crushed up the rose buds ,placing both into a bit of fabric. She tied it off with more fabric and hoped it would work as a tea bag. “Have you warmed up the water yet?” she asked Armaan, looking over at him.

He had the canteen firmly between his hands, which were bright red and glowing slightly.

“Yeah, it’s steaming. Should be good to make tea. So did you tell him you lost this canteen and were trying to weave one out of leaves?” Armaan asked as he handed her the water.

She would have been embarrassed in any other situation, but seeing the slight smile that Armaan had put on Cole’s face  was worth the humiliation. “I would have made a beautiful water basket if you had let me finish,” she said, though she knew it was a lie. “Anyway, I’m not sure I’m skilled enough to get Madgie to drink this without choking her. Will you try to get some in her once the tea is done, Cole?”

“Sure, where are you headed?” he asked as she made her way across the room.

“I’m going to sleep. I’m exhausted,” she said, making his face fall a little. Amanda turned around, making her way back over to him, and whispered in his ear, “I know you won’t sleep tonight. You don’t trust Armaan enough to, but after you get some fluids in Madgie…” She paused as her stomach did a back flip. “You can come and lay next to me if you like.”

Amanda turned around quickly before she could see his reaction. What if he didn’t want to? Why did she have to ask him that? Things used to be so easy with Cole, but now she second- guessed everything she should or shouldn’t say. She was tired all over, and her body begged for rest, but she couldn’t stop tossing and turning with worries about Madgie, Kaedin, and her newfound love life. One of these worries was calmed as Cole snuggled up next to her.

“Madgie drank almost the entire canteen, so stop worrying and get to sleep,” he whispered into her hair.

She didn’t need any more coercing. The steady rising and falling of his thick chest had her sent off to sleep in seconds.

18

It was a beautiful day in Shanghai, but Nell couldn’t bring herself to enjoy it. She had strategically perched herself on a large grey rock that overlooked the border of New Hovel. The Healer’s city was nestled in the middle of Century Park. She smiled at the people walking by the border, wondering how they didn’t notice the twenty acres Shiphra had hidden from them. Everyone here thought it was funny to go unseen in one of the most populated cities in the world. However, Nell just thought it was sad that they didn’t get to enjoy New Hovel.

Century Park was long ago modeled after it. Both had beautiful streams and ponds, spectacular topiary hedges clipped into all different shapes, but as beautiful as Century Park was, it had nothing on New Hovel. She had never seen anything like its green hills or cobblestone pathways. Even the sunlight seemed more concentrated, reflecting on the water in golden pools so rich she couldn’t stop herself from jumping into them the first time she’d passed one by.

It felt right; it felt like home, unlike the place she was brought to as a child that was cold and dark. She had grown to love it but not like New Hovel. This place made her forget the only home she’d ever had. Unfortunately, even the beauty of this place couldn’t make her forget how much she missed Armaan.

He’d kept her company the first day she arrived but had gone off on some important mission. She tried to make other friends, and there were plenty to be had. The children were especially friendly. Nell was shocked and amazed the first time she saw a small child run by, but New Hovel had them running everywhere. At her old home, there were no children younger than ten. The kids followed her like a shadow through most of the day, but Armaan was just such a fun person to have around. She had never felt someone’s absence like she felt his, which confused her. She loved Amanda’s company and Madgie’s too, but she never wallowed in their absence. So many things were changing for her and not just location.

Nell hadn’t ever had a thought about her appearance but suddenly couldn’t stop fretting about how she looked. The morning after getting to New Hovel, she had sat in front of the mirror in her small bright bedroom for at least an hour scrutinizing her hair, which, for the first time, Nell noticed was quite unmanageable. Then when she was finally happy with the way a side swept braid looked, Armaan wasn’t even around to see the trouble she had gone through.

He had been gone for two days now, and she was frustrated at herself for keeping an eye on the clock and frustrated at it for not ticking by the minutes faster. She was going crazy wondering where he was, when he’d get back, and if he was okay.

Nell stood up suddenly and scanned the horizon. A cool breeze sent her long hair into a dance. She didn’t find what she was looking for, so she jumped off the rock, stealing just one more backward glance. Nell ran down the grassy slope until she came to one of the cobblestone pathways that led to the city. One foot after the other, she tried to out run her thoughts. She didn’t even feel like herself; she had never obsessed over some guy. Nell wished Amanda was there to talk to her; she was just so confused. She picked up her pace and jumped the low rock wall that surrounded a deep cool pond. Running hadn’t helped her escape her thoughts, so she leaped into the pond, breaking its peaceful gold surface. She hoped that the water would wash away her uncharacteristic thoughts.

19

Grey-cloaked figures surrounded the small hill where a dead tree perched. Amanda pressed herself against the white trunk, attempting to use its cover to get some relief from the downpour. The twisted leafless branches did little to shelter her already soaking body. She was cradling a small shaking child. Putting a hand to her face, she wiped away the water cascading over her eyes and gazed at the child.

Kaedin looked up at her, clutching her arm desperately. “Help me, Amanda. I’m right here. Don’t leave me again!” the small quivering voice begged.

A face materialized in the wall of grey, a face she hated. She couldn’t believe the physical need she felt to watch him die. Baal’s distorted face wore an impish grin as if he could read her thoughts. Only an Ancient can kill you. His deformed head nodded, and his smile stretched wider, revealing row upon row of sharp yellow teeth. A shiver rippled through her body as remembered words played in her mind.

‘Baal loves the sight of blood.’

“You share my enjoyment Amanda. You have blood on your hands as well. You can try to hide it, but I see the spot there.” He quoted Shakespeare as Carter’s walking corpse appeared at his side.

“Murderer!” he screamed. An explosion of sound ripped open the silence as a bright flash of light split the dead tree down the middle, tearing Kaedin from her arms.

Amanda jerked awake, knocking heads with Cole in the process. Her heart was hammering in her chest, and she sat up, cursing her mind for giving her such dreams. Was it not painful enough to leave her once? She hoped she had gotten enough rest to function. Amanda didn’t want to attempt to sleep again. The dreams were too real to brush off. She could still feel the chill on her skin where Kaedin’s cold hand had grasped her. Pulling up her sleeve showed the red outline of a little hand. Sleep was overrated anyway, she told herself though she wasn’t sure Cole would agree.

He sat up as soon as she did, heavy eyes full of confused concern. “Are you okay?” he asked through a yawn. His eyelids looked like they weighed ten pounds each, and she guessed she’d been right in assuming he wouldn’t sleep as long as Armaan was around.

“Yeah, just another bad dream,” she said, rubbing the fading red skin on her arm. “They seem so real.”

He straightened and pulled her closer to him. “Don’t worry. When all of this is over, the dreams will stop. I used to have terrible dreams but eventually they died down. Minds tend to work out all of the fears we try to suppress once we close our eyes, playing out the most painful scenarios.” Cole’s eyes fogged over for a moment. “The more terrible your nightmares, the more active your mind. We must both be geniuses.”

A muffled thud rang out as Armaan plopped himself on the end of the couch.

“Ouch! Couldn’t Shiphra have made better furniture?” he moaned, rubbing his back. “So what was this dream about? If it was a naughty dream about me, don’t say anything, just raise your eyebrows so Cole doesn’t suspect.” He paused and smiled. “Do you see how high those eyebrows are, Cole? Must have been a good one.”

“Shut up, would you? My eyebrows are this high because I’m shocked at the person Shiphra has sent to help me. Is it possible she can dislike me this much? She hasn’t even met me yet.”

“You wanted him here,” Cole said, rubbing her arm soothingly.

“Okay, you… it’s time you make me glad I kept you around. When do we leave, and where are we going?” she asked, trying to keep her voice even.

“Well, I’m hoping you’ve deduced from all of the bamboo that we’re on the Asian continent. To be more specific, we’re in eastern China.” He paused.

“She didn’t ask where we are. She asked where we are going,” Cole huffed impatiently.

“I think the two questions are closely related. If you don’t know where you are, how will you know where you are going?”

“Ever the philosopher, Armaan. Come on, tell us what’s going on here. We need to get Madgie to a real bed,” Cole said as if he were reasoning with a child.

“Okay, okay. We’re headed to Pudong, that’s a section of Shanghai. New Hovel is there, hidden in Century Park. If we can hitch a ride, we could be there in a few hours.”

Amanda didn’t know what to say. Too many thoughts rattled through her mind. Were they that close? How could someone hide a city of Healers in a park in one of the most populated cities in the world? What was Shiphra like?

“When do you think we should get moving?” Cole asked Armaan before standing up and stretching out.

“Well, we’ll want to make it to the roads as the morning commuters start into the city. Almost no one in China owned a car ten years ago. Lucky for us that’s changed,” Armaan responded.

Cole walked over to Madgie and studied her closely. “Who’s going to pull over and give us a ride? We’re foreigners carrying an unconscious woman.”

“Oh, people around here are super polite, and we’ll just look like tourist hikers that got lost and injured. I’m sure we won’t have a problem, and if we run into one, you can smack ‘em with a confusion orb. You were always good at those,” Armaan said with a smile.

“I’ve never been good at those. You just accused me of hitting you with one every time you were confused. I’m not talented, you’re just stupid,” Cole said with a slight smile dancing at the corner of his mouth.

Amanda was pleasantly surprised by how much tension had faded since last night. Cole wasn’t completely at ease, but she could feel his doubts, which had been so concrete yesterday, seemed a little unsure.

“I know it was you, Cole. You didn’t want me to be better looking than you and smarter. I understand. I would have done the same thing in your shoes.” Armaan laughed.

After they ate a terrible breakfast of bitter mushrooms and berries, Cole and Armaan went outside to scout the best way to the roads. Cole didn’t seem to mind being alone with Armaan, but he wasn’t ready to trust him alone with her. She had a sneaking feeling that Armaan was going to have a shadow everywhere he went until they reached New Hovel, but he seemed to enjoy Cole’s company too much to be annoyed.

After she gathered their belongings, she made herself comfortable next to Madgie. She looked better than she had last night. The color had returned to her cheeks, but she still wouldn’t wake up. She knew Madgie’s body just needed to rest and recover, but it was hard to be patient when Madgie seemed to know what was going on with her.

Madgie had been about to tell her why she had the mark on her hand and why she had fluffy over there following her around. Her wolf’s head turned sideways in confusion from where he lay across the room. Not sure about fluffy, huh? she asked. He shrugged his shoulders and laid his head back down, a gesture so human it made her smile.

If Madgie knew what was happening to her, then this couldn’t just be a one-time occurrence. Someone else out there had to be walking around with this mark and an invisible furry friend. How else would she have known what was happening with her? Maybe this wasn’t any more abnormal than the rest of the Healer world. There was so much that she didn’t know about her own kind. She hated herself again for abandoning her studies for two precious years.

Although she had started a rebel movement against the Ancients. She was grateful that Armaan had given her that bit of self-justification.

There wasn’t much to do in a cave with an unconscious woman. She tried meditating but was too agitated. Jumping to her feet, she started pacing around the room. She’d thought they would be headed for New Hovel already, and the waiting had her antsy. Walking was too slow, and she needed to get rid of some of her excess energy; it was making her twitchy. So she started running steady laps around the place to keep herself from going crazy.

“Trying to make the varsity track team this year?” a voice asked from behind her.

She leapt into the air, almost tripping herself and turned to face the voice. Cole and Armaan stood at the entrance of the cave with curious smiles on their faces.

“No, she isn’t the sporty type. She just has A.D.H.D.,” Cole replied coolly. “I think ten minutes alone in here is worse than prison to Amanda. Do you know why the caged bird sings now?” “No, but I know why fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.” She huffed, too glad that they would be leaving to be embarrassed.

“Wow! You two move fast, married and divorced before you even tell me that you’re a couple,” Armaan teased.

“Oh, shut up already. Can we leave now?” Armaan looked at Cole, who shrugged.

“See what I mean, A.D.H.D.,” Cole said, making Armaan laugh and her last nerve break.

“Impatient is not the same as having A.D.H.D., and I’m serious. Our situation is serious. We need to leave!”

Armaan stopped laughing, and Cole looked apologetic. “What’s with you two being chummy all of the sudden anyway?” she asked, half wishing Cole was still giving Armaan the cold shoulder.

“He just explained some things to me last night. I didn’t want to trust him, but what he said makes sense. I don’t know. I guess I believe him. Of course, I’ll be watching you and won’t trust you until you deliver Amanda to Shiphra safely, but until then…” Cole pointed to his eyes and then at Armaan.

“Well, I’m used to having people’s eyes on me, so I’ll barely notice,” Armaan said through a fake yawn.

“Okay, I just want to know when we’re leaving. Can one of you just give me that small bit of information?” she asked, rubbing her temples.

Why was it when you got two men together they acted half their age? The math just didn’t seem right. She felt sorry for mothers who had more than one son.

“We can leave whenever you’re ready,” Cole said. “Armaan, can you check on Madgie real quick?”

Armaan crossed the room, and Cole spoke.

“I know that you are in a hurry to get to New Hovel, and I understand that, but we can try to keep our moods light when we have the chance. It makes things easier between Armaan and me, most of the time. When he and I are joking, I can pretend he is the same person I knew, although he’s changed. Right now, in this cave, no one can get to us. When we step out of these walls, it isn’t going to be that way. We aren’t exactly safe out there. Don’t think I don’t take this seriously. Your safety is everything to me. There isn’t anything I take more seriously,” Cole whispered making her feel guilty.

“I know that. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t. It’s just that I need to get to New Hovel, to make sure Madgie gets the care she needs, to see Nell so I know she’s safe, to meet Shiphra so she can tell me what’s happening to me, and to find Kaedin before it’s too late.”

“Wow, that’s a long list of needs, and shoes weren’t even on it. What kind of girl are you?” He nudged her with his thick shoulder playfully. “I didn’t stop and think of how stressed out you must be feeling, just been so worried about keeping you safe. Never occurred to me to, you know… talk. Curse of the gender, you know, and based on that small tirade, you’ve been needing to talk.”

Amanda hadn’t thought about how much she did need to talk to someone. She was so used to repressing her thoughts and feelings. Amanda wondered if things would be different at the New Hovel, or if it would be the same old thing with a different label.

“You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?”

“Of course. You’ve always been the person I talk to. I’ve just gotten used to keeping my thoughts to myself. They always got me into trouble growing up, if you recall.”

“I know what you mean. There’s something I’ve been keeping to myself for a long time. It’s nothing you don’t already know, but I’ve wanted to tell you for as long as I can remember.” Cole stopped talking and rubbed the back of his neck. He averted his eyes, and a blush kissed his cheek.

He’s nervous? Cole was never nervous, she thought, but was only clueless for a moment before his emotions overwhelmed her.

“I lo—”

“Can we leave now?” Armaan’s impatient voice asked from across the room.

“Yeah, sure,” Cole said, jumping up. “I’ll carry Madgie so that you can lead the way.”

Cole hurried off toward Madgie awkwardly, and Amanda was left sitting next to an invisible wolf, wishing he had finished his sentence and that there was a club handy to beat Armaan with. When she’d first realized what he was about to say, she was nervous, not knowing what she would say back and not sure of how it would change their relationship. If there was one thing she’d learned as a Healer, it was how badly I love you could end. Now that it had gone unsaid, she was full of hollow disappointment.

Stupid Armaan! I’m glad I never had a little brother. Could you nip his ankle for me, you know, just a little? she asked, scratching the animal behind the ears. She wasn’t sure, but she thought he seemed pleased by the idea.

By the time she exited the cave, Cole and Armaan were at the edge of the clearing, heads bent together, talking in hushed voices. She didn’t understand why the discretion was necessary until she was a foot away from them. Beyond the clearing was deathly quiet, without even the rustling sound of the wind moving through branches she’d grown so accustomed to hearing the past few days. Not a single woodland creature seemed to be on the move today, but other more sinister creatures were. She looked up as soon as she felt their presence and noticed that Cole’s big arms, cradling Madgie, were shaking.

“You did this,” Cole whispered. “You lead them to us?”

“No, no I swear. They have Ancients on their side too, you know. Calm down, and we’ll find a way around them,” Armaan said.

“You swear? You think that your promises mean anything to me?”

Her brain caught up to the conversation, and she interjected. “We don’t have time to argue. They found us when it was just the three of us,” she said gesturing to Madgie. “This has nothing to do with him! We need to get out of here.”

“Okay, but we are not taking the path that he chose for us. We’ll go this way,” Cole said, turning on his heal.

“You saw what was down that path — nothing but rocks, fallen trees, and overgrown brush! This is the best route, and you know it. Go that way and you’ll have to fight the Guard and nature. We can’t carry Madgie safely through that way.” He looked down the path that they had chosen together.

Amanda’s wolf stood partway down it, beckoning her to follow.

“Just trust me, please!” Armaan pleaded to them both.

Cole stood unmoving, glaring at him as if his mere stare could start the boy’s hair on fire.

“I do,” she said, taking off down the path after her wolf, knowing that Cole would follow her, and he did, begrudgingly, taking up the rear.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Armaan whispered behind her.

Her feet were flying over the terrain without her telling them to do so. “I think so. I kind of feel like I did last time when Shiphra was pulling me where she wanted me to go.”

“Stop!” he said, grabbing her arm. “This isn’t like the last time. You need to follow me, not that pull.” His voice was so commanding she looked at Cole for help.

“You’re hurting my arm. Let go of me!” She struggled out of his grasp. “Madgie told me to follow this feeling, and I’m not going to follow you if you’re telling me to ignore it!”

Cole was at her side, glowering into Armaan’s face. “I knew you’d try to lead us to them! You are your brother’s lap dog,” he said, his voice full of venom.

“Wait! Please don’t go that way. It isn’t Shiphra. This is nothing like the last time you escaped the Guard,” Armaan pleaded as they backed away from him.

She turned to follow where her feet told her to go, but was stopped short by her wolf’s unmoving frame. Calm down just leave him be, she thought, seeing the fur on his haunches standing on end, reminding her of a deadly pincushion. The invisible string pulled tighter, and she stumbled trying to stay on her feet.

“Come on, Cole, we need to leave here.” She tried to step around her wolf, but he spun, knocking her to the ground. “What’s the matter with you?” she yelled.

Cole was next to her in less than a second. “Are you all right? What happened?”

He helped her to her feet, which she was having a hard time staying on. The tug was so great that it felt like a rope had been lassoed around her. The sensation was heavy and forced, nothing like it had been last time.

“It isn’t her, it’s not Shiphra!” she screamed.

The invisible rope around her burned as it tightened, and she just had time to look at Cole pleadingly before she was pulled off her feet and disappeared into the forest.

20

Her flesh burned, and her body cried out in pain as she flew through the forest, sharp branches tearing chunks out of her exposed skin. Tears streamed down her cheeks in a reaction to pain or anger, she wasn’t sure which.

Why couldn’t she have listen to Armaan? Shiphra had given her so many signs.

As she drew nearer, the entity pulling her in, she hoped Cole and Armaan would stay away. They didn’t stand a chance. The power of an Ancient was nearly limitless, and they were just two young men.

“No!” Amanda screamed, holding back tears. She was so sick of people that she loved being hurt because of her. She thought of Madgie and how close her old friend had come to death. Amanda would try to stand on her own, even though she could feel her energy draining with every inch put between her and her wolf.

Just as Amanda began wondering how long she’d be dragged through the forest, she started feeling the dark energy of the Guard. There weren’t as many as the last time Amanda had encountered them, maybe seven or eight, but she barely noticed them. The brilliance of a single Ancient drowned them out like a full moon blots out the stars.

She came to a halt twenty feet from the towering figure, still in the air and held captive by the invisible rope. He was stroking a large peacock with disjointed hands, looking bored. The bird was dazzling and larger than any she’d ever seen. It seemed to light up the dim forest like a strange sun.

Tearing her eyes from the creature, she glared into the Ancient’s hollowed face, attempting to convey as much confidence as possible in her current state.

“All of this trouble for such a little thing?” He studied her so intently she felt the need to cover herself. “You seem hardly worth the effort. If it were up to me, I would gladly let you frolic off into the sunset. But Baal was quite insistent. It’s a pecking order thing, you understand,” he said sympathetically. “I’m ready to go back home; may Heaven receive you and all that.”

Amanda didn’t feel him gather energy; he didn’t need to. It wouldn’t take much for him to do what he had in mind. Before she could close her eyes, she felt something tear through her chest. She screamed out as the pain rippled across her body. The dank smell of sulfur reached her nostrils, and she looked down at her still smoldering shirt. A terrible wound peeked through the hole in her clothing, dark red and charred around the edges. In her shocked state, she wondered why blood wasn’t gushing from her wound.

Madgie’s shoulder had looked like a river of blood, and Baal loved the sight of blood. Her blurred vision turned the colored light of the peacock into a mesmerizing kaleidoscope. Shaking her head, she regained her vision slowly, and she noticed that The Ancient’s face was full of confusion.

“Taunt him,” a familiar voice urged her.

“What? You’ve got to be kidding me! Did you not notice what he just did to me without any taunting?” Amanda asked internally as her head cleared up.

“He will hurt you more, but if you listen to me, you will live. Amanda, trust me. We must weaken him,” Shiphra’s voice commanded in her mind.

She decided that she’d be dead no matter what, so she might as well go out in style. Her energy started coming back to her. “I know that you said I wasn’t worth the effort, but really, you could put in just a little,” she said, trying to keep her teeth from chattering.

She had to get control of herself. She drew in a large breath to get her body out of shock, but before she could exhale, she felt The Ancient’s temper rise. She knew he was angry. She felt it, but she couldn’t read the Ancient’s emotions in the arena. Why could she now?

He gathered his energy, and another attack ripped at her chest. Her head was spinning, but miraculously she was still breathing, though she was surprised that she still had lungs.

“Make him draw more energy,” Shiphra’s voice encouraged. Amanda put her faith in her since they’d left the Hovel and couldn’t turn back now. “You can’t kill me? But I’m just a little thing, and you are supposed to be all powerful, right?” She coughed out every word. Her chest heaved in and out painfully, and she wished her wolf were at her side giving her the energy to heal herself.

“No! Don’t call him… not yet. Tell him to stay away. He mustn’t see your wolf!” Shiphra’s voice shouted quickly. “Tell him to stay away, Amanda.” Shiphra’s every instruction went against her instincts, but trusting her was her only option.

Stay away. Don’t come here. Don’t come here. The thought of her wolf not coming to help her made bile rise to the back of her throat, and the pain began to overcome her.

“Stop it! You are stronger than you know. Now face him, and fight him. Make him waste his energy in anger.”

Amanda drew in a shaky breath and took the blinding pain that came with the oxygen. The last thing she wanted to do was make him angrier. After the attacks she had endured, she wasn’t sure why she was still alive.

An Ancient could snuff out a Healer’s life in the blink of an eye, so how was she still be alive? Of course, a demon attack wasn’t something a person normally lived through either.

The same question seemed to be ringing in the minds of the Guard. Their faces were contorted in anger and confusion. Some of them seemed to think there was something wrong with their vision, shaking their heads and blinking their eyes as if in doing this they would see her lifeless on the ground, but floating in the air she stayed. She was wincing in pain, and her clothes were in tatters, but alive nonetheless.

The Ancient must have read the Guard as she had, because his bored demeanor changed from that of a person on an errand to someone with a personal vendetta. The invisible ropes tightened in on her, shooting more pain through her body.

“Enough of this!” she screamed, tired of being held against her will. She imagined a pair of scissors cutting her ties, and she fell to the ground. Her captor let out an audible gasp. The Guard, looking unsure, inched away from where she landed. Amanda straightened and gazed into the Ancient’s hollow eyes.

“What are you?” he demanded.

“Nothing special, just a Healer. What are you? Surely you can’t really be an Ancient,” she said, blocking an attack seconds after the words left her mouth.

The temperature seemed to rise with his anger, and the cool breezy morning was replaced by hundred degree temperatures. The attacks were getting more powerful! He was pulling more and more energy. She cried internally, not letting the pain show on her heat-reddened face.

“An Ancient would be able to keep me contained!” she shouted, wiping the trail of blood that was running down her chin.

Sweat poured off one of the Guards, landing on the ground with a muffled sizzle.

“Attack him,” Shiphra prompted.

“No.”

“You must weaken him. Defend yourself. He is trying to kill you!” Shiphra urged.

Carter’s last sputtering words ran through her mind.

”Murderer! You did this to me…” and the gruesome hacking that followed.

“I won’t. I defended myself against Carter, and I will forever have to live with his blood on my hands. I will never choose my life above another’s again.”

“Do what you must,” Shiphra said.

Do what she must? How was she supposed to know what the right choice was? Another blast of dark energy hit her shield.

“An Ancient would be able to kill me!” she screamed as loudly as she could manage through the pain.

A wave of heat erupted as The Ancient shouted, “This ends now!”

She stood tall, as the plants around her burst into flame.

Unnatural black smoke circled the clearing, choking out the sunlight and the Guard. It started with one man falling to his knees and holding his throat, but after mere seconds, all of them were coughing violently. They collapsed one right after the other, unable to find enough oxygen. The Ancient either didn’t notice or didn’t care that his followers where struggling for air. His attention seemed to be far off in the woods behind her.

“No Healer could possibly withstand what you have,” he said, as the smoke began to thin. The Ancient being looked at her sweat smeared face with excitement dancing in his eyes.

What did he have to be excited about? He was on the ropes, but somehow the dynamic had shifted. The look in his eyes told her she was the one backed into a corner.

“Maybe you’re just getting rusty. Your Guard has done all of your dirty work for so long…” She trailed off as she felt a presence nearing, understanding why his eyes said he had the upper hand.

He did.

“No!” Amanda shouted as Cole came crashing into the clearing. Bloodied from the forest, he fell in a heap at the Ancient’s feet.

“That demon changed something in you. You know this to be true. What did it do, how are you so powerful?” he demanded. Why was she so powerful, what was happening to her?

She was desperate to answer his question. She would give him anything and tell him anything to keep Cole safe. He knew it too. His cocky demeanor had returned, and he went back to gently stroking his giant peacock. The action soothed him, and she recognized the feeling.

“Call him. Call your wolf,” Shiphra whispered.

Come, I need you. She knew she was something different. She felt the change in her body, but what was she?

“I don’t know why or how this is happening; please don’t hurt him!” she begged.

Her words stretched a crooked smile across his gruesome face. Cole struggled against his bonds and turned to look at her, chocolate eyes pleading.

“Run, Amanda, get out of here!” he shouted.

“Quiet you!” the Ancient said, clenching his fist.

Cole was immediately silenced, arching his back and searching for breath like a fish out of water.

“Now, be a good girl and tell me what kind of trickery you are playing… or your friend here will be in a lot of pain.”

She stammered, grasping at straws, wanting to tell him whatever it was he wanted to hear, but she stopped short. Amanda looked at the giant peacock and the light and energy that came from it, just like her wolf…

She opened her mouth but couldn’t force out the words, realizing the truth of what she was probably wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“Tell him. Tell him what you know, but do not let him flee. He will try.”

She wanted to be confused by Shiphra’s words, but she wasn’t. Amanda understood them perfectly, just as she understood what she now was. “You want to know what I am? I will tell you, but it was no demon that changed me. I’m not sure what did…” She paused, looking at Cole, not wanting him to hear what she was going to say.

“Stop stalling!” the Ancient screamed, and with a flick of his wrist, a red line appeared on Cole’s cheek.

Her anger rose as she saw blood run from the fresh wound and a tear stream out of the corner of his eye. “You’ll be sorry you did that!” she said, struggling to keep her voice even.

“Really? Why is that, little one?” he asked with a sharp smile dancing across his uneven face.

“Because I have one of those too,” she said, gesturing to the large peacock.

He looked at the bird and then back at her in confusion.

“You can see my–” He was cut off as her wolf crashed out of the foliage behind her. Bright and majestic he stood towering over the scene, and there was no mistaking what her wolf was, not anymore. Drawing his energy, she flicked her wrist. A line appeared across the Ancient’s yellowed skin, but no blood came running out. The wound split one of the hundreds of figure eights that he had scrawled on his body in half. Lifting her hand up, she saw that the twisted mark there matched his. She held her palm up to him.

“Does that give you your answer? I am you! I am an Ancient.” She spit the words out, knowing they were true and willing them not to be, wishing that she could do something to make that statement false. She looked at Cole, whose eyes were wide in astonishment. Amanda hoped he didn’t hate her as much as she hated herself for being one of them, one of those evil creatures.

“Hey, we aren’t all evil. Just strive to be like me. I’m a pretty good role model… maybe try to eat healthier. I have lived on nothing but doughnuts for at least fifty years now,” Shiphra said in an oddly whimsical tone.

It took her a moment to realize that the voice had come from beside her, not from some mysterious entity thousands of miles away, but from a tiny round old woman standing at her side.

Her long white hair looked bright against the smoke-filled forest, and her eyes seemed too large for her face but were bright and beautiful. Light and life and love poured from her aura, bringing tears to her eyes.

“Shiphra?” Amanda whispered.

21

The name seemed to slap the stunned Ancient out of his stupor, and before her mind had processed any movement, he was ten yards away.

“Not so fast, Elijah!” Shiphra shouted.

The tall figure froze in place. Shocked as she was by Shiphra’s sudden appearance, it took her a few moments to notice the small lemur-like creature perched on her shoulder. It was studying her with large bright eyes that looked just like the woman’s he was perched on.

Amanda didn’t study him long, only having eyes for Cole, now free of his bonds. She ran to his side, helping him to a sitting position. He hadn’t fared as well as Amanda had against the Ancient’s tight bonds. His eyes bore into hers so full of emotion she couldn’t bring herself to speak. Amanda thought he was going to die, that she’d never be able to talk to him again or see the light in his breathtaking eyes. She wanted to tell him so many things, but couldn’t bring herself to say a word.

“I told you he would flee, didn’t I?” Shiphra said in a huff.

“Only up for a fight that isn’t fair?” she asked the suspended being. “No more!”

Her voice hung in the thick smoky air slowly fading until there was silence. Amanda knelt next to Cole, supporting his upper half, making sure he was okay while trying to understand what was going on between Shiphra and the other Ancient. A low hum filled her ears, getting stronger until she could feel the hum in her chest and then vibrating the ground beneath her.

Shiphra stood, arms wide, appearing much larger than her four-foot frame should have suggested. Her brow was creased in concentration. Amanda looked between the powerful beings. They looked so alien, like they didn’t belong in this world. Even frozen in place Elijah looked too powerful and menacing. Shiphra had a round face, delicate little hands. Though she still had the

Ancient’s mark tattooed across her body, she looked much more human. However, even with these human attributes she was other.

Her entire life, up until recently, had been spent pining to be normal. Just when she finally got her footing, just when she wasn’t just okay with the fact that she was a Healer, but ecstatic to be one… that life was taken from her. Amanda thought of Mae’s father, remembering the look of peace and happiness he had right before crossing over and the high that she felt knowing she’d helped them out of their Hell. She wasn’t a Healer anymore, Amanda realized. She looked down at Cole, wondering if he still wanted her, knowing what she now was. She wondered how much time she had left to hold him with arms that looked soft and feminine. Would she just wake up one morning jagged and nine feet tall?

“What is she doing?” Cole asked, bringing her out of her selfish thoughts and back to reality.

Amanda was about to answer with a simple, “I don’t know,” but decided to see if she could find out. Closing her eyes, she felt the dull hum in the air and traced it back to Shiphra’s mind, which was open to her. Amanda reeled back into herself when she saw what Shiphra was doing. “She’s trying to kill him.”

“What… can she do that?” he asked in a whisper.

She was about to tell him what Armaan had said to her but was interrupted.

“Sure. Only an Ancient can kill an Ancient,” Armaan said quickly. “Aren’t you going to help her, Amanda?”

Shiphra stood a mere fifteen feet away, but she may as well have been a mile away. She was shut off from everything around her and didn’t seem to be able to hear their conversation.

“Help her kill someone?” she asked. “Listen, I know you think I’m this revolution princess or something, but killing people isn’t what I do.” She looked up at Shiphra’s face. Some of the light drained from it as the hum in the air began to hurt her ears.

“You’re just going to sit here?” Armaan demanded. “How can you just sit here? Do you know how long she has waited for this to happen?” he screamed, making Cole attempt to stand up.

“Listen, she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Now back off!” Cole shouted, swaying side to side, struggling to keep his balance.

“Don’t make me out to be the villain here, Cole; she is supposed to want to help…”

“Armaan, I’m fine.” Shiphra spoke with confidence, though it seemed hard. “She has already helped more than you know. This is more difficult than it appears to be. He is fighting a good fight, so be quiet now… and possibly take cover.” She was quiet again, and the humming increased another level, vibrating the ground more fiercely, causing bits of gravel and rock to move about.

“What does she mean fighting a good fight? He isn’t even moving,” Cole whispered.

“She is trying to break down his energy, but with his Uleery right there it’s hard for her,” Armaan said in frustration.

“Uleery?”

“Do you know nothing about the Ancients? Can’t you feel the massive amounts of energy that comes off them? They’re one hundred times more powerful than you or I, but that fountain of energy you feel isn’t them. It is the Uleery, the givers of energy. Every Ancient possesses one, and only the Ancients can see them, but anyone that pays attention can feel them,” Armaan said.

Cole closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them in shock. “You have one too, don’t you?” he asked her in surprise. Amanda looked behind her at her wolf, standing at attention, ready for anything. “Yeah, I guess so,” she said dismissively, not wanting to talk or even think about her and the Ancient’s similarities. “So how is she supposed to kill him when he has a never ending energy supply?”

“It isn’t never-ending; she just has to have more energy than him at a given moment. That’s why you should be helping her; two Ancient’s versus one has higher odds of only one of them dying,” Armaan said.

“Leave it alone, Armaan. You heard Shiphra; she doesn’t need help,” Cole said.

Amanda could tell by Cole’s tone that he stood by her choice but didn’t agree with it. Am I wrong to not want to kill someone again? Murder is wrong. So why do I feel terrible for doing the right thing? “It isn’t a matter of want.” She looked up at the small struggling woman. Her eyes were still closed, and her mouth was unmoving. This was a private conversation between them. “I don’t want to kill anyone. It’s a matter of necessity. Elijah has had over seven hundred years to choose his path. This is more than us. It isn’t like I am choosing my life over his. I am choosing the freedom of thousands over his selfish existence,” Shiphra finished, sounding weak.

The two Ancients, frozen in place, appeared weaker by the second, but Amanda couldn’t be sure if Shiphra’s energy was draining slower than Elijah’s or not. Shiphra’s crinkled forehead broke out in a heavy sweat, and her raised arms began to shake, making Armaan and Cole grow more agitated.

“Isn’t there something we can do to help her?” Cole demanded to a frantic Armaan who was pacing behind his leader.

“Don’t you think I would help her if I could?” he screamed. “We can’t do anything against an Ancient.” Shiphra, still lost in a trance, let out a blood-curdling scream.

“This can’t be happening; this can’t be happening.” Armaan’s pacing quickened.

Cole glanced over at Amanda, his dark eyes unsure. “I know that you hate violence, you weren’t trained like me or Armaan. And I respect whatever you chose to do, but…” He paused seeming unsure if he should continue. “I just want you to understand what your choice means… If you don’t do something, Shiphra could die. She is the only good Ancient left; she is the only one who can help the Healers find freedom, the only one who can help you find your little trapped spirit. If she dies, hope dies with her.”

Amanda looked up at Shiphra’s struggling form. Her whole body had started shaking. She couldn’t allow her to die, she thought, still feeling torn.

“Murderer!” Carter’s voice echoed in her mind, dissuading her for a moment, but she pressed on.

What good would come from them both dying? Having no answer, she walked towards Shiphra, but Carter’s mangled body appeared between her and the old woman. Shocked and horrified by his appearance, she collapsed to her knees.

“Amanda!” Cole shouted, but she didn’t respond.

She had seen terrible things in her life as a Healer, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Carter. His aging corpse looked more gruesome than it had in her dreams. His once full head of hair had charred and fallen away leaving him closely resembling a mangy dog. His face, if it could be called such, looked more alien than human. So much skin had melted and rotten away that his eyeballs seemed in danger of rolling out of their sockets, having nothing to hold them in place.

“Murdererrr!” he whispered. His eyes rolled around in their sockets, struggling to look at her. “You did this to me, you selfish witch!” His milky stare had finally locked on her, and though they looked similar to Kaedin’s unseeing eyes, she could sense that these could see. Not just what most see on the surface, but beyond that. She could feel them boring into her very soul.

“Amanda what’s going on? Are you okay?” Cole said shaking her, but she couldn’t tear her gaze from Carter.

What did I do? How could I do that to you? She thought miserably. I’m a Healer, I am supposed to build, not destroy. Cole brought a hand to her moist, tear wrecked face.

“Armaan, help me please! Something’s happening to her,”

Cole screamed at the tall pacing boy. Armaan looked over at the pair of them. “Why is she saying Carter? Does she mean my brother’s right hand man? What’s he got to do with any of this?” Armaan asked as he knelt on Amanda’s other side.

Cole’s face contorted for a moment then lit up in recognition. “We had a run in with him. She put up a shield in front of him as he was about to hurl a spell at her, and it ended up killing him.” Cole said.

“Okay, well, what is going on with her?” Armaan asked. “I’m not sure; I know that she has been struggling with it.

Amanda feels like she was in the wrong, like she murdered him in cold blood or something. I mean he basically killed himself; she did nothing but put up a shield,” Cole said frantically hoping that what he said would bring her out of her state.

Armaan threw his hands up in disbelief. “Is that why she isn’t helping Shiphra?” he asked moving Close to Amanda’s ear. “Carter deserved more than what he got, Amanda!” he shouted.

Amanda could hear Armaan’s voice saying something in the back of her mind, but Carter’s haunting eyes held her in a trance.

“You don’t understand. Carter was evil. I saw him hurt women; I watched him torture innocent people for fun.” Armaan’s voice was becoming clearer, and Carter’s gaze fell away from her and focused on him in anger.

“I tortured people? Look at what you’ve done to me! You are the murderer, girly. You’ve always been a bad seed. I remember the day you showed up to the Hovel. Everyone thought you were a prodigy, falling into your first scar at such a tender age.” His laugh turned into a cough, and after a few choking hacks, he spit out a large chunk of flesh. “You were weak. You’ve always been weak. You let everyone down. Then again you’ve always done that too.”

She felt herself slipping back into despair.

“Amanda, listen to me!” Armaan’s voice sounded muffled and distant but still reached her. “Stop this! You are strong, you inspire, and you started a revolution with an incomplete sentence!” Under the desperation, she could still hear a smile in his voice as he recalled their conversation.

“I was on the Guard, so you can believe me when I say he was the murderer, not you. He has killed many and was trying to kill you that day. Please come out of this. Help Shiphra. It’s what you were meant to do,” Cole’s deep voice begged.

Carter crouched as if to pounce. Hunched over he looked less human still and more menacing than ever. “You will not help her; you could never do to another person what you did to me.” Even in death you are a slave to them, aren’t you? I didn’t do this to you, Carter. You can blame me if you want, but you made your choices… She looked up at the two struggling Ancients. Shiphra’s hold on Elijah was lessening, and he jerked violently side to side trying to break the bonds.

“No!” Carter cried before disappearing into nothingness. Amanda jumped to her feet and ran to Shiphra. Placing a hand on her frail shoulder, she channeled her energy into the old woman. The large wolf was at her side in a flash, resting his nose on her back, keeping her strong. Shiphra immediately straightened and opened her bright eyes. Elijah’s struggle ceased. “Please!” Elijah cried out. “Please, Shiphra, I’ll do anything. I have no allegiance to Baal, just ask it of me,” he begged.

“Go back in time. Erase the centuries you have tarnished with your evil,” Shiphra said. “I know what I ask even you aren’t powerful enough to accomplish. I’m sorry, Elijah. You made this decision for me long ago.”

“Please, Shiphra, Please…” His voice cut off as a bright beam of light shot out of his open mouth. It was overpowering, and Amanda had to shield her eyes. The earth beneath her feet trembled violently.

“Armaan, grab him and go!” Shiphra said quickly.

“What? I’m not leaving Amanda!” Cole said defiantly.

The ground shifted and cracked almost knocking her down.

“Get out of here, Cole, now!” Amanda demanded.

He ignored her words, moving close and wrapping his arms around her protectively. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said as the ground shuddered again.

“If you stay, you’ll need to put up a shield,” Shiphra said in a rush.

“I already have one around her,” Cole said. “Not around her, around you!” Shiphra huffed.

Cole didn’t say anything in response, just continued to hold her tightly.

“Amanda, protect him. Where we stand will be a crater shortly,” she whispered.

Amanda continued to lend her energy to the small woman and wrapped a shield around Cole. She sensed an evil seeping out of Elijah so sick and concentrated it made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, darkness, death, and hatred. She hadn’t felt such a presence since her encounter with the demon in Kaedin’s scar.

How could that be coming from him?

She had definitely concluded that the Ancients were evil, but somehow feeling his true nature frightened her. An ear- splitting crack rang out as a fissure ran up his torso, making her scream. The jagged crevice broke his tattooed skin like the rumbling had broken the earth. Seeing him being split apart wasn’t as gruesome as she would have thought. There was no blood or tissue flying everywhere.

Maybe all that was human had dried up centuries ago. Her thoughts were drowned out by an explosion of sound and light. Shiphra ceased pulling energy and she knew it was over. They’d killed Elijah. She couldn’t see anything, chunks of earth hurdled at them at terrible speeds. Amanda held her shield over Cole with everything she had. Never being in any type of explosion, she was surprised by the sonic wave that ripped through her chest, leaving her feeling a bit dizzy. Cole’s shield over her had been destroyed by the eruption, but luckily hers held through the worst. After a few moments of silence, she opened her eyes.

Amanda was still wrapped tightly in Cole’s arms, and he didn’t seem to be loosening his grip, so she turned to face him. Smoke and dirt still hung in the air around them, and his handsome face was all she could see. The familiar contours of his face were caked in a layer of blood and dirt. She lifted her hand to the slash Elijah had put on his cheek and gently caressed it with her thumb until it was healed. He raised his hand to hers, squeezing it tightly. His shoulders heaved out a muffled sob, and he dropped his head before pulling her hand into his chest.

Cole didn’t say anything, he just held her small hand like he would never let go of it again, like if he held it tightly enough she’d become a part of him. In that moment she wanted to be, she wanted to wrap her arms around his shoulders and melt into him, but their moment and the ringing in her ears were interrupted.

“Ah, young love. Nothing can keep it down, not even almost being blown to bits… apparently,” Shiphra said in a musical voice. She stood gazing at them with her large, kind eyes. Her Uleery was perched on her shoulder, gazing at them with the same intensity.

“Sorry,” Amanda said, hoping Shiphra hadn’t seen the many things flashing through her mind while in Cole’s arms.

“No worries, child. I remember being young, no not really…” She barked out a hearty laugh and with a wave of her hand the smoke and dirt cleared away, revealing a deep crater gouged into the earth. The soil had been stained black, as if an oil well had been dug there.

“All that’s left of Elijah,” Shiphra said in a sigh. “I tried to channel his energy back into the earth, but I guess it didn’t want him. Ha!” She laughed again. “Well I’m not leaving this place looking the way it does. It takes more energy to build than to destroy, so why don’t you come over here and help me.”

Amanda joined her immediately, unsure of what she wanted her to do. “Um… What are we building?” she asked.

“A fast-food joint. I could use a burger about now.” Amanda looked at her in surprise. “We aren’t in the business of construction, my dear. We are simply letting our energy into the Earth, allowing the plants to heal themselves and grow. It’s not polite to burn down a mile of forest and run,” Shiphra said with a smile as she picked up her hand. “Now just lend your energy to the earth, let it flow out of your feet into the soil, just like you gave me the energy I needed,” she said closing her eyes.

Amanda shut hers too and tried to drain her energy out through the soles of her shoes. She was surprised to feel the eagerness in the ground’s acceptance of what she had to give. Her knees buckled underneath her, but she stayed on her feet.

“There, that should do it,” Shiphra said. “There is so much life in that soil it would take all of your energy if you let it.”

No kidding, Amanda thought, feeling weak. She opened her eyes, and her jaw fell open. The burnt, destroyed clearing was green and beautiful. Even the enormous crater was covered in luscious red peony blossoms, hiding the black mark Elijah had left. Oriental Cyprus saplings happily stretched toward the sun, and small shoots of bamboo grew out of the cracks created by the shifting ground.

“Well, we should get out of here. Your friend Madgie still needs some medical attention. The rest of the Guard, and maybe even the rest of the Ancients, will likely be here shortly,” Shiphra said as she turned.

“Madgie! Oh my,” Amanda exclaimed before spinning to Cole. “Where is she?”

“Don’t worry. I stashed her in a thicket. She’s hidden and perfectly safe,” Cole assured.

On their way out, they stopped and got Madgie from her hiding place. A flood of relief hit her. She felt guilty for not immediately wondering where she was when the boys showed up without her, but with all that was happening at the time, she tried not to feel too bad. Shiphra told her Madgie’s body just needed some time to rest and lots of fluids to make more blood. Amanda had expected Shiphra to wave her hand and make Madgie conscious, but there were some things even an Ancient couldn’t do.

“Are you ready to see your new home?” Shiphra asked  her.

“Who cares if she’s ready? I’m hungry; let’s go already!”

Armaan interjected.

Amanda would have been annoyed at him but couldn’t bring herself to be while he cradled Madgie so sweetly in his arms. “Before we do anything, can I please ask you just one question?” Amanda asked.

“Ask away. I’m sure you’ll be doing nothing but asking questions for the rest of your life, if you’re smart,” Shiphra said, turning toward her.

“Can you help me find Kaedin’s Scar?” she asked, hoping Shiphra knew who Kaedin was. Shiphra didn’t wait long to answer, but to Amanda it felt like a lifetime.

“Yes.”

epilogue

Frey stood at the edge of a crater, bubbling with rage. He screamed and sent a dark orb ripping through a Guard member’s chest. The skinny boy of fourteen toppled over. Frey’s eyes took in the other members of the Guard, challenging them to say something.

None did.

They’re scared, and more than usual. He’d been angrier since his brother had gone missing. He tried to play it off as nothing, but Armaan, clever and careful as he was, couldn’t completely hide his distaste for the Ancients or the Guard. He knew if his brother was gone it was because he had wanted to run off and join his old friend Cole and the rest of the dissenters.

He looked back into the pit and jumped in. Kicking the flowers aside, he uncovered the black tar that was the remains of Elijah.

Did my brother help them do this? he wondered, full of embarrassment. The Ancients wouldn’t look too happily at the brother of a dissenter.

He took a knee, trying to compose himself, and studied the dark earth. He reached down and slowly ran the tips of his fingers across the thick tar. He turned his blackened fingertips toward him, inspecting the strange sticky matter. It was then that he noticed it. He froze in place, gazing at his hand before movement at the lip of the hole caught his eye.

“Everything okay, boss?” Chet asked nervously.

Frey smiled and picked a large vibrant peony. The rich crimson of the flower reflected off his exposed teeth, staining them an eerie red. He brought it to his nose and inhaled deeply. “Oh, everything is more than okay,” Frey said triumphantly. He stood up, letting the flower fall from his palm, which bore a strange but familiar mark.

the end

Content

Scars of the Earth
by
C.S. Moore

prologue

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

epilogue