Cipher

Cipher 1

by

Cindi Madsen

To the awesome girlfriends I've had in my life. Amanda, not everyone is lucky enough to still be friends with their best friend from high school. I'm glad we're the exception. To Christy and Ariane, thanks for all the laughs when I needed them most. And to the girls of HB 207, college was so much fun with you all.

Acknowledgements

These characters have always held a special place in my heart. For a long time, Kika MacFarlane was the only one who knew them besides me. Thanks, Kika, for loving them and reading all three books and telling me I should put them out already! I often think of Troy as Troy Boy because of you. Thanks to Anne Eliot, for also telling me (sometimes quite forcefully) that I needed to get this series out there. And thanks to Mackenzie Weller for being my other teen reader.

I’ve been blessed with some awesome girlfriends who I’ve dedicated this book to, but I just want to say again to Amanda, Christy, Ariane, Rozzie, Annie, Kelli, Jolene, and Dallas, you gals were amazing friends. Thanks for that.

Shout out to the people at Hot Damn Designs for a beautiful cover and for being so awesome to work with. Thanks to support from fabulous and funny authors Rachel Harris, Karen Erickson, and Lisa Burstein. Hugs to you all! Brandy Vallance, Bob Spiller, and Julia Allen, you’ve taught me so much about writing. You get hugs, too.

Michael Madsen, only a crazy person would support his wife in this line of work. I’m so glad you’re a crazy person. I also love that my kids get excited for my books and want to thank my extended family for their support. To my mom, dad, Randa, April, Tod, and Greg, just because.

Thanks to my editor Jeremy Leatham for catching all the little things. And for speculating about the Angel of Death’s love interests. Lol. Jennie, Marty, Deanna, Chris, Lana, and Michelle, thanks for the meet ups and pub talk. To my Time Zones Will Not Defeat Us girls, you all rock and keep me smiling! I’ve met so many cool people and know the best bloggers—seriously, THE BEST! I know I’ll probably forget someone, but I have to say an extra big thanks to book bloggers Andrea from the Bookish Babe, Autumn from Autumn Review, Valerie from Stuck in Books, Jenna from Shortie Says, Karen from For What It’s Worth, Jana, the Book Goddess, Jen & Amy from Fictitious Delicious, Amy from Book Loving Mom, and Jamie from Two Chicks on Books. When I asked for help you all were so awesome!

And finally, thanks to my readers!

The First Time

Nothing to worry about. I’m only going to remember this night for the rest of my life.

All of Summer’s hard work came down to these three minutes. Three minutes of everyone staring. Three minutes to forget the steps or fall on her face.

A wave of nausea hit her and she put her hands over her stomach, hoping the cheeseburger she’d had for lunch didn’t make a reappearance. A white bucket was near the stage’s entrance, just in case. The thought of having to use it—especially if someone already had—made her feel even more like throwing up.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. This always happened right before she stepped onstage. Tonight it was worse than normal, not only because of the huge crowd, but also because it was the first time she’d be performing a ballet solo.

You’re ready. You got this.

Earlier, she’d felt so confident. After all, she’d been working on the routine for months—years if you counted all the dance classes it took to get to this level. She’d taken her first class at age four, fell in love with dancing, and spent the next ten years taking everything from jazz to hip-hop.

Heart pounding, Summer toe-heel walked to the middle of the stage.

The familiar music started and her instincts took over. She pirouetted, nailed the grand jeté in the middle, and finished off with a fouetté en tournant.

The song struck its final note, and she held her pose.

For a couple of seconds, everything was quiet. Then the audience started clapping. When Summer heard whistling, she knew it was Mom—she did that two-fingers-in-the-mouth whistle that made people in close proximity plug their ears and scoot away. In a crowd of uptight mothers hoping their daughter would be the next prima ballerina, Mom stuck out.

Trying hard to maintain her composure, Summer kept the demure smile expected of a serious ballerina and curtsied. The spotlight glowed off the blond curls that had escaped her bun.

Heavy black curtains slid across the stage, narrowing her view of the audience. As soon as they met in the middle, she rushed offstage.

The other performers were buzzing with excitement, but Summer didn’t have time to chat or offer congratulations. She didn’t even have time to change out of her black-skirted leotard. She sat down on a wooden bench, exchanged her ballet shoes for her purple Converse sneakers, and headed to find Mom.

The second she stepped out of the dressing room, Mom pulled Summer into a huge hug. “You were so great up there! Absolutely amazing!”

“Yeah, I heard the whistling.” Summer pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were going to take it down a notch.”

“That was taking it down a notch. I didn’t make any cat calls, or yell, ‘That’s my girl, who’s so much better than all of your daughters.’”

Smiling, Summer shook her head. “Well, I guess I should thank you for holding back then.”

“You definitely should.” Mom hooked her arm through Summer’s. “We better get going. I don’t want your dad thinking we abandoned him at the airport.” Her eyes got that dreamy look, and a smile touched her lips. “I can’t wait to give him a proper welcome home.”

“Ugh, you’re going to embarrass me, aren’t you? You and Dad are so mushy. I’m totally scarred for life, I hope you know.”

Mom’s smile widened. She pushed out the double doors of the auditorium, and they stepped outside. The sidewalks of downtown Chicago were packed tonight. Some of the people were out enjoying the warm evening, looking like they didn’t have a care in the world; others were all business, rushing around, wearing serious expressions.

“So, you want to keep doing the ballerina thing, or are you ready for something new?” Mom asked.

“Hmm.” As much as Summer loved being onstage tonight, she wasn’t sure prima ballerina was her ultimate goal. It was about time for a change. “We haven’t done Irish dancing yet.”

Mom’s brown eyes widened, excitement flickering through them. “Ooh, I’ve always wanted to try that. All that kicking and bouncing, and it sounds so cool, too. First thing tomorrow, I’ll see if I can find us a class.”

A man in a suit charged toward them, his eyes on his phone. Summer tried to move out of his way, but as he passed, his briefcase bumped her leg, and his arm brushed hers.

The man sits in the back of the taxi, talking on the phone. Through the window to his right, a car coming, not slowing down like the others. Tires screech. Glass shatters. Metal buckles, trapping the man in its folds. An awful choking noise comes from him as he struggles for air. Then everything goes quiet, and the light leaves his eyes.

“Sorry,” the man said as the scene unfolded in Summer’s mind. “I was in such a hurry to get home I didn’t even see you there.”

Cold filled her, and she felt nauseated for the second time tonight. “I’m uh… You’re… It’s…”

Mom draped her arm around Summer’s shoulders and smiled at the man. “Have a safe journey home.”

“You, too. And again, I’m sorry.” He stepped to the edge of the curb and hailed a cab.

Summer watched him lift his phone to his ear as he climbed into the yellow car. This can’t be real. Surely he’s not going to…

As terrified as she was of seeing the impact, she couldn’t tear her gaze off the taxi as it entered the flow of traffic. Her pulse pounded in her head, drowning out all other noises.

When the car drove out of sight, she blew out a shaky breath. Nothing happened. My mind’s playing tricks on me. It was just a weird hallucination or something. One hell of a vivid, weird hallucination.

“Summer?” Mom leaned closer, eyebrows scrunched together. “Are you okay?”

“I guess all the dancing took it out of me. I suddenly feel exhausted.” Summer put a hand on her stomach. “And really hungry.”

“We’ll grab something on the way home from the airport.” Mom glanced at her watch. “Dad’s due in fifteen, and it’ll take us at least forty to get there.”

“Let’s get going then.” Summer started toward the car, doing her best to act like everything was fine. But the graphic image of the man’s lifeless body kept flashing through her mind, and she had this weird feeling that she’d never be the same again.

Chapter One

Three years later…

Summer barely restrained herself from putting on a dance show for the neighbors. Bobbing her head just didn’t do justice to the music pumping through her earphones. All she wanted to do was get into the house, celebrate the start of the weekend with some dancing, and then relax for a couple hours before going out with Cody.

What am I going to wear? If I don’t do a load of laundry soon, I’m going to have to pull something off the floor and hope it’s not too wrinkled or smelly.

The sun reflected off her plastic Get off the road, I’m 16 keychain into her eye, making her attempt at finding the house key more of a challenge. Dad had bought the keychain, thinking it was hilarious, and had also attached a canister of mace. Summer put up with both because they’d come with a car. Since she’d turned seventeen a while ago, she thought she might be able to rid herself of the keychain without Dad getting too upset—the mace wasn’t optional; she knew that without having to ask.

Finally. Summer inserted the key and opened the door. She tossed her keys into the bowl on the side table, then ran up the stairs, singing along with Hayley Williams.

At the top of the stairs, she added some dance moves, swinging her curls back and forth across her vision. Moving to the beat, she danced into her open bedroom door.

The sunlight coming through her window was blinding, so she moved across the room and closed her curtains. She spun away from the window, belting out the chorus.

The strange woman perched on the end of the bed put a quick end to Summer’s song and dance. Summer stared, hair covering one of her eyes, heart beating a million-miles-a-minute.

That woman wasn’t there a minute ago.

Was she?

The woman smiled, displaying a set of startlingly white teeth. She didn’t look dangerous. In fact, she was the human version of cotton candy—a pink fluffy dress, bubblegum colored lips, and a Marilyn Monroe hairdo.

Just in case the woman wasn’t as friendly as she looked, Summer reached into her pocket to retrieve her cell phone. Where is my…? Oh holy crap, I left it charging in the car. Summer thought of her mace, downstairs, next to the front door. So close, yet so far away.

The woman tapped her ear and then pointed to Summer.

A gentle tug popped the earphones out of Summer’s ears. Afraid to look away from the woman, she dropped the wires, leaving them hanging from the iPod in her pocket. Without music filling her head, the situation suddenly seemed more real.

She’s dainty. The woman didn’t look very tall either, although she was sitting down, so it was hard to tell for sure. I bet I could take her if it came down to it.

Please don’t let it come down to it.

“Hi, Summer,” the woman said, her voice light and airy. “We need to talk.”

How does she know my name? Summer studied the woman again, sure she’d never met her before. She’d for sure remember a grown woman who dressed like a cartoon princess.

“Maybe we should talk outside on the lawn,” Summer said. Witnesses would put her at ease. Of course, Mrs. Graves was most likely the only person home right now. As far as witnesses went, she wasn’t a very good one. An axe murderer probably couldn’t coax a reaction from Summer’s mentally-out-to-lunch neighbor—a harmless-looking lady wouldn’t even register. Mrs. Graves would probably stare out her window with detached interest, then go feed her army of cats.

“Well, no one can see me but you, so it would look like you’re talking to yourself. And I’m rather sure your reaction to this news is going to be attention-grabbing.” The Cotton Candy Fairy blinked her big eyes like one of those creepy dolls with the moveable eyelids and long lashes.

Okay, it’s official. This woman’s completely insane.

Summer swallowed past the lump rising in her throat. “Are you lost? I know a place down on Peach Street that’s really nice.” That’s where the mental hospital was. If this lady hadn’t come from the hospital, she could use an extended visit there.

“I’m not insane and I don’t have time for this. You’re a special circumstance. I’ve never had to start from scratch before.” The woman tapped her manicured finger on her lips and turned her eyes to the ceiling, like she expected to find answers there. “Let me think for a second. I know it’s going to be hard for you to accept from someone you don’t know.”

The woman slapped her hand to her forehead. “Goodness, me! I never even introduced myself. No wonder you think I’m insane.”

Yes, the introduction was the problem. Not that you broke into my bedroom, claim I’m the only one who can see you, or that wings are all you need to complete your fairy costume.

“I’m Gabriella,” she said with a big flourish and a giant smile, like she was in a beauty pageant. “I dole out assignments, welcome people home, that kind of thing. Before long, you’ll get the hang of this and it’ll become second nature to you. We’ll get you started and then you’ll be right as rain.”

Summer just nodded. This lady was obviously off her meds, and she knew better than to disagree with a mentally unstable person. Under normal circumstances, she’d point out that the phrase right as rain didn’t even make sense.

“Since this is your first assignment, you’ll have more time. It takes a certain skill, and,” Gabriella—if that was even her real name—looked Summer up and down, “I think it might take you a bit to get going.”

The shorts-and-T-shirt getup was because Summer had been at dance practice. “I don’t normally wear this.” Wait. Why am I explaining myself to her?

Summer took a deep breath, trying to clear her head. She eyed the door, wondering if she could get to it faster than Gabriella. “Look, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I can call someone for you if you like.” She took a generous step toward the door. “Family?” Another step. “Friends?”

Gabriella stood, and Summer froze in place. “I guess I might as well charge on through. Tip-toeing is getting us nowhere. There’s a girl who goes to your school named Ashlyn Moore. Do you know her?”

The name sounded familiar, but Summer couldn’t place a face with it. “No.”

“Well, you need to get to know her. She doesn’t have much time, and she needs you.”

“She needs me to…?” Summer wondered if she was helping or hurting by indulging this crazy woman.

“To help her resolve some things before she dies, of course.”

Summer shook her head. “Okay, this is getting too weird.”

“I know it’s hard to grasp, but this is part of who you are. You get a person assigned to you, and then you help them before it’s too late. We call you Ciphers. You’re more like deciphers, but that’s simply too long, so we decided to go with the shortened version.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I assure you I wouldn’t joke about this. I take my job very seriously. You do the before stuff; I take care of the rest. So, here’s everything you need to know about your job in a seashell—”

“Seashell?” Summer asked. “Don’t you mean nutshell?”

“I knew that sounded wrong.” Gabriella shrugged. “Anyway, you find a way to solve problems for people before they pass on. That way, their deaths will be filled with peace. A big part of your job as a Cipher is bridging relationship issues so that people can deal with their deaths, while giving their loved ones closure as well.” She pointed one finger in the air. “It’s a win-win.”

“Yeah, except for the people who die. And their families. It sounds like a lose-lose.” Unexpected tears formed in Summer’s eyes as the words hung in the air. Death sucked. There was no closure. No help. Only emptiness and pain that gradually got a little duller with time. No one—not even someone who looked as harmless as cotton candy—was going to change that.

This had gone too far, and Summer decided it was time to end it. She cleared her throat, working on making herself sound as serious and firm as possible. “Okay, I don’t know who you are, but you need to leave.”

When Gabriella didn’t move, Summer darted toward the door.

The door slammed shut with a resounding boom. “I can’t,” Gabriella said. “Just like you can’t get out of this assignment.”

Summer grabbed the doorknob and twisted. It didn’t budge, which was impossible. Even if she locked the door, turning the knob released it. She threw her hip into the door, thinking that might dislodge it.

It didn’t, and ouch. Pain radiated from the spot on her hip, up her side.

“You see,” Gabriella continued, “I know all about you and your extra gift. Think about it, dear. You’ve felt it before. Sensed someone’s death coming.”

Summer released her grip on the doorknob and slowly turned to face Gabriella. She’d never told anyone her secret. Not Mom, Dad, any of her friends. No one.

Visions of the deaths she’d seen flashed before her eyes. At first it was only random encounters with complete strangers—nothing seemed certain. Then there was the one that changed everything. The one she couldn’t rid herself of. Because it had come true.

“Your silence is answer enough,” Gabriella said, breaking up the images flashing through Summer’s mind.

How could she possibly know about my visions? And how much about them does she know?

“You said you take people home. Home like…?” Summer couldn’t bring herself to finish.

“I collect them when they die. I’m like a tour guide, if you will. Only there’s no going back from the tour I take people on.”

“So what, you’re like the Angel of Death?”

Gabriella pressed her lips together, not confirming or denying.

“But aren’t you supposed to look scary? Like, have a black hooded cape and a scythe or something like that?” Summer needed a reason to dispute what Gabriella had told her. She’d grasp at any straw, regardless of how illogical.

“Where people get that idea is beyond me.” Gabriella shuddered. “As if my job’s not hard enough, looking like that would scare people to death. Of course, they are already dying, but we’d rather ease them into it, not shock the life out of them.”

Summer pressed her fingertips to her temples, her breaths coming faster and faster. “I’m going crazy.” It was the only explanation. “I need to go visit Peach Street.”

“No one needs to go to Peach Street. Now, we’re getting way off track, and I simply don’t have time for that. Like I said, you’re new, so you get someone who has more than a few days or hours left. Ashlyn and her mom have a very strained relationship. You need to get Ashlyn to make peace with her mom before it’s too late.”

“But I don’t even know her. How am I supposed to do that?”

Gabriella stuck a hand on her hip. “Well obviously you’re going to need to get to know

her.”

Yeah, act like I’m the crazy one.

Okay. I can do this. I can get to know this Ashlyn chick and see what I can do to help her.

Then Summer remembered the awful sensations that followed her visions, how even when she didn’t know the deaths were coming true, the graphic images left her disturbed for days. “I just want to move on with my normal life. I don’t want this job.”

Gabriella stepped forward and placed a hand on Summer’s shoulder. For someone who was supposed to be a hallucination or dream, the woman had a surprisingly solid grip. “Honey, no one wants this job. And no one can do it all. It’s too exhausting to be responsible for everyone. That’s why you get a case at a time. Look, I’ve got a complex schedule to keep, and I’m out of time. I know you haven’t been properly trained, but it is what it is.”

Gabriella patted her dress. “Now where did I put that…? I swear, they’re impossible to keep hold of.” She kept mumbling and searching the folds of her skirt and her sleeves. “Oh well, I’ll just have to get another.” She pinched the air, tugged down, and a brochure appeared in her fingertips. She handed it to Summer. “I want you to study this over the weekend…”

Summer glanced at the title: Repairing Friendships and Mending Broken Relationships.

“And I want you to make contact with Ashlyn as soon as possible. I’ll check back in to help whenever I can. Don’t take this assignment lightly. She’s going to die whether or not you do your job. If she leaves without resolution, that’s on you. It’s one of the worst parts of the job.” Gabriella sighed. “There are actually lots of unpleasant parts, but you have to remember the good that you’re doing, and how comforting it is to know you helped someone’s last moments be more meaningful.”

The jewel-encrusted watch on Gabriella’s arm chimed. “Oh heavens, I’ve really got to go. Study the brochure. Make contact.” With that, she started to fade, leaving a glittery outline before disappearing completely.

Chapter Two

Summer stared at the spot for a good minute, mouth hanging open. People didn’t evaporate into air. And while she would’ve liked to believe it was all an elaborate dream, the stupid brochure was still in her hand. Her thoughts spun, and her lungs didn’t seem to be expanding anymore. She tossed the pamphlet on her dresser and grabbed the doorknob. This time it turned, no problem.

In a daze, Summer drifted down the stairs. The kitchen seemed like a good place to find comfort, so she headed there. After downing several Oreos and a large glass of milk, Summer moved into the living room, flopped onto the couch, and turned on the TV.

As she stared at the television screen, she tried, and failed, to put the weird encounter out of her mind. Question after question ran through her head: Shouldn’t I be religious if I’m going to do this kind of thing? Why wouldn’t they pick someone more experienced? And the biggest question of all: How can I fix someone else’s life when mine’s such a mess?

Summer heard Dad toss his keys into the dish next to the door—somehow she’d missed the sound of him pulling into the garage. Knowing he’d come around the corner any minute, she pushed back the weird thoughts swimming through her head and focused on appearing normal.

Dad walked into the room and glanced at the television. “Whatchya watching?”

“Nothing really.” Summer picked up the remote and clicked off the TV. “I was about to make dinner. Is Tiffany coming over?”

“She has to work late tonight.”

Summer did her best to keep her face neutral instead of smiling at that joyous bit of news. Dad’s girlfriend was a lot to deal with, even on a normal night when Summer hadn’t been told she needed to help out a soon-to-be-dead person. “I’ll warm up a can of soup and make grilled cheese.”

“Sounds good.” Dad pulled at his tie, sliding the knot away from his collar. “You going out tonight?”

“Yeah, Cody and I are doubling with Kendall and Jack. Cody’s supposed to be here about seven to pick me up.”

“He still driving that giant SUV?”

“I’m sure he is.” Summer already knew what was coming next.

“I’m glad you’ll be one of the biggest vehicles on the road, but those things have horrible blind spots.”

“I’ll help him check them. And I’ll make sure he doesn’t roll us either,” she added before he said anything about it. As an insurance claims adjuster, Dad’s job entailed studying and assessing wrecked vehicles. His lectures about driving safety were lengthy, to say the least.

Before he decided to start one, she headed to the kitchen to prepare a meal that passed for gourmet in this house. A meal Tiffany would scoff at or somehow try to turn into a five-course meal. She wished her dad’s girlfriend didn’t bug her so much—that she could be happy her dad had someone. But she didn’t like the fact that he was dating at all. And if he did have to, she didn’t want to witness it.

The phone rang while she was slicing cheese. “Why aren’t you answering your cell?” Kendall asked. “I’ve been trying to call you for, like, an hour.”

“I left it in my car.” Summer tucked the phone between her ear and shoulder so she could finish assembling the sandwiches while she chatted with her best friend. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to tell you to wear something special tonight.”

“And here I was planning on wearing my un-special outfit.” Summer placed the sandwiches in the skillet.

A couple seconds passed before Kendall said anything. “You know what I think of your sarcasm,” Kendall said, and her annoyed expression popped into Summer’s head. Kendall’s idea of funny didn’t exactly coincide with hers. “I also wanted to ask your opinion on movies to rent, but since you didn’t answer your phone, I had to do my best. We probably won’t end up watching it anyway. So, did you see what Lizzie Harris was wearing today? I feel so bad for the fashion-challenged.”

Summer pictured Lizzie’s too short pants with her electric blue heels. “It’s like she was trying so hard, but didn’t quite get it.”

“I know. It’s sad how hard people try to be cool. You really can’t force it. Speaking of fashion, I was thinking about wearing my new necklace. The one I got at the mall last weekend. What do you think?”

Summer tried to inject enthusiasm into her words. If she didn’t sound excited enough, Kendall accused her of not caring. “I think it would look awesome with that pink shirt you bought.”

“You’re totally right.” There was a pause. “Hey, I’m getting called down for dinner. See you in an hour.”

Summer hung up the phone and moved the bubbling soup off the burner. As she grabbed a couple of bowls and started dishing up dinner, her thoughts moved to tonight’s plans. With any luck, hanging out with everyone would get her mind off the thing she couldn’t stop thinking about. Death wasn’t exactly a good party topic.

* * *

Cody turned down the radio. “You okay, baby? You haven’t said much since I picked you up.”

Summer’s attention turned from the palm trees she’d been watching whiz by outside the window to her boyfriend. He got upset if anyone called him a pretty boy, but his full lips, baby blues, and the blond hair framing his face didn’t exactly dispute the pretty title.

Summer reached over and grabbed his hand. “I’m okay.”

He lifted their hands and kissed the back of hers, then turned down the road to Jack’s place. She wanted to be able to tell Cody about the encounter she’d had with Gabriella—to have someone listen and help her sort it out. But knowing how crazy her story would sound, she decided to keep it to herself. Cody was a good boyfriend for the most part. He said sweet things, called when he said he’d call, and when Jenna Cambell had thrown herself at him, he’d resisted her advances. Sometimes she wished she trusted him on a deeper level, that she could tell him her innermost thoughts and feelings. That was a lot to ask of anyone, though, especially of a boy whose life was focused on the next big game.

He parked in front of Jack’s house, then hurried around the vehicle and opened the door for her. When they reached the front door, Kendall opened it before they even rang the doorbell. “Come on in,” she said. Her long platinum hair was secured with a barrette that matched the necklace she was wearing. Both sparkled as they caught the light.

“That necklace looks great with your new shirt,” Summer said. The compliment was more required than sincere, though her friend did look nice. “You look awesome as usual.”

“You, too. Glad I talked you into buying those jeans.” Kendall wrinkled her nose. “So much better than that first pair you picked out.”

Jack showed up behind Kendall and tucked his chin on her shoulder. “As fascinating as this fashion-tip session is, baby, I think it’s time for dessert.” He kissed Kendall’s cheek, and Summer wondered if he meant he was having her for dessert—they had no problem with letting everyone know how they felt about each other. But then his gaze moved back to Summer and Cody. “My mom made a chocolate cake. You guys want some?”

Summer’s stomach growled, like it’d heard the suggestion and wanted to announce its intentions. “You know I won’t pass up cake.”

“Boy, do I know,” Kendall said. “I have no idea how you eat as much as you do and still stay skinny.”

Cody wrapped his arms around her waist. “It just all goes to her boobs.”

“Cody!” Summer glared at him over her shoulder.

“What? I’m not complaining; I like it.” His hands drifted up to the assets he’d just mentioned and she pulled away. He shrugged and aimed his next comment at Jack. “She’s in a bad mood. Nothing some chocolate won’t fix.”

Teeth clenched, Summer moved for the kitchen. She’d love to be joking around, but he was right about the bad mood. Thinking about death all afternoon could do that to a person. It also confirmed that Cody wasn’t someone she could open up to about it.

Jack grabbed forks out of a drawer and tossed all but one of them onto the table. Using the fork in his hand, he dug into the pan.

Kendall smacked his hand, and the bite of cake fell off his fork. “Could you at least pretend to be civilized and get some plates?”

Jack stared into the pan, a frown on his face. “You made me drop my cake.”

Kendall shot him a look that made him walk across the kitchen and retrieve the plates, then played hostess, dishing everyone out a piece.

The guys scarfed down their pieces in a few bites. “We’re going to go get the movie ready,” Cody said, a smear of chocolate still on his lips. At one point in their relationship, Summer might’ve walked over and licked it off for him. Now he took those gestures to mean she was ready for things she wasn’t.

“You girls take your time,” Jack added before the two of them disappeared into the other room. Summer knew they wanted to hurry and get a few rounds of videogames in. It’s not like it took twenty minutes to get a DVD ready.

Kendall nudged Summer with her elbow. “Aren’t our boys the sweetest?”

“Yeah, the sweetest,” Summer mumbled.

“What’s up with you? You’re not mad about Cody talking about your boobs, are you? Because he was just flirting with you. Jack and I don’t care if you guys show a little PDA. In fact, we plan on showing some of our own tonight.” She grinned her man-eating grin, and Summer knew she’d see more of Jack and Kendall making out than she wanted to tonight. Or any night, really.

“It’s not that. I mean, it’s a little bit that, but…” All the ways someone could die kept running through her head. Even a shark attack, which seemed unlikely, mixed in with the more common ways, like choking and car wrecks. “I’ve just had a rough day, and I feel really weird.”

“Well cheer up already.”

That was Kendall’s solution. As if you could simply tell yourself to cheer up and all your problems would melt away. Of course, if Summer told Kendall the same thing when she was upset, she’d be furious. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Good,” Kendall said. “Now, let’s go tell the boys it’s time to kill the videogames so we can watch the movie.”

The four of them squished on the couch in the living room and started the movie, a romantic comedy that had both guys groaning. It was bad enough, Summer wasn’t all that impressed either.

About thirty minutes in, Jack and Kendall disappeared into one of the bedrooms.

The second they were gone, Cody turned and kissed her, no longer keeping it to small pecks, but lots of tongue and groping. She closed her eyes, trying to let his kisses and the sensation of his fingertips on her skin carry her away.

They ended up horizontal on the couch, his weight pressing into her. But every time she closed her eyes, she relived all the deaths she’d seen: The lifeless eyes; the bloody, broken bodies; the last, shuddering breaths.

She broke the kiss and locked eyes with Cody. “What would you do if you knew you were going to die?”

He kissed her neck and ran his hand up her back. “I’m getting to that.”

She pushed both hands against his chest. “I’m serious.”

Cody’s eyes were half-lidded, his voice husky. “Baby, I want to take things to the next level. I don’t want to talk.”

A riotous mixture of hurt and anger rose up in her. “Funny, because I think talking is a better way to take things to the next level.”

He ignored her and moved to unhook her bra, pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Stop,” she said. He wasn’t the best listener, so she had to shove him. Hard.

He blew out a heavy breath, frustration coming off him in waves. “Come on, baby. We can talk about anything you want later.”

Summer righted herself, tugging her shirt down. “It’s not going to happen, so you might as well stop with the babies.”

This tired scenario kept happening. Cody wanted to take things further, but she wasn’t ready. He got more upset each time. When she wasn’t so preoccupied and his kisses and touch made her deliciously dizzy, it wasn’t always easy for her to put the brakes on their make out sessions either. Then she’d wonder what was wrong with her, worry he was going to dump her, and feel guilty she was so confused over taking the next step. But right now, she didn’t feel any of those things. He’d totally ignored her question and what she wanted, so this time, he wasn’t going to be the only mad one.

Sure enough, the muscles along his jaw tightened and his chest was heaving with shallow breaths. “Kendall and Jack have already done it, and we’ve been dating for longer than they have.”

Summer crossed her arms. “Oh, now I am in the mood. If they’re ready, I’m ready.”

“That’s not what I mean.” He plowed his fingers through his hair, then brought his arms down, his shoulders slumping as he exhaled. “I’m just saying, I’ve been patient…” He reached out and took her hand. “And I love you.”

The anger heating her veins cooled and guilt rose up to take its place. Cody had no idea why she was so upset, because she hadn’t told him. It wasn’t his fault. And he loved her—he told her all the time. So when he leaned in to kiss her, a questioning look in his eye, she let him. This time, she kept her eyes open, letting his face fill her vision. Intoxicating heat spread through her veins as he slid his tongue in to meet hers—damn, the boy knew how to kiss. She focused on the pleasant chills traveling through her body, inhaling his scent as the edges of the world went fuzzy.

Then his hands started roving again, moving to unbutton her pants. The world snapped back into relief. Summer grabbed his hand and held it firm. “I think you better take me home now.”

The lights from the ignored movie lit up Cody’s face, emphasizing the frustration on his features. “I can’t keep doing this, Summer. If you’re not ready, maybe I should find someone who is.”

His words cut into her, sending a sharp pain through her chest. Then fear mixed in with the hurt, the combination stealing her breath. I do care about him, and I don’t want to lose him.

Looking into his eyes, though, she didn’t see love or concern. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I want my first time to be because I love somebody and I want to do it, not because I’m scared of being dumped.

Her throat tightened. “I guess you’ll have to find someone else then.”

Cody pushed himself to his feet and stormed out the front door. The slam echoed through the room. Summer thought he’d only gone to cool off, but then she heard the engine fire up. It revved, and then got quieter and quieter, until she couldn’t hear it at all.

He just left me here. Apparently, he’s going to find someone this very minute.

Kendall and Jack were doing who knew what in his bedroom—well, she had a pretty good idea—and calling Dad would bring up more questions than she wanted to answer. He’d kill Cody if he found out about this.

After running through all of her options, Summer took her phone out of her purse. She scrolled down her contacts until she reached the name she was looking for. Her finger hovered over the button for a moment before she made the call. She held her breath as it rang, not even sure what she’d say, but knowing he’d come get her if she asked.

When it went to voicemail, she disconnected without leaving a message. Loneliness settled over her, pressing against her like a weight. I have no one, I’m seeing some kind of heavenly messenger, and Cody and I just broke up.

Tears filled her eyes. At first she wiped them away. Then she went ahead and let them flow.

Chapter Three

The knock on the bedroom door startled Summer out of her daze. She’d spent most of her Saturday moping around in her room, torturing herself with happy memories of her and Cody. She closed the window on her laptop that showed the picture of her and Cody cuddling at the beach, wiped her fingers under her eyes in case there were any leftover tears, and sat up on her bed. “Yeah?”

Dad cracked the door open. “Cody’s here.”

Did I hear him right, or have I been staring at pictures of us for too long? “Cody’s… here?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Why?”

“Do you want me to ask him?” Dad said. “I’d be more than happy to interrogate him.”

Summer swung her feet to the ground. “No. Tell him I’ll be right there.”

Dad nodded and closed the door behind him. She hadn’t told him about the break up yet. It had been awful enough to rehash it with Kendall and Jack last night when they’d driven her home. Kendall kept saying it would all blow over, which had pissed Summer off. Cody had pushed her, then abandoned her. How did that blow over? Of course, she didn’t say that; she simply sat nodding, waiting for the moment she could be alone in her bed to do the ugly cry.

All day she’d tried to convince herself that the breakup was for the best. Only then she’d think of a good memory, and suddenly she was listening to songs that reminded her of him and pulling up all their pictures. She told herself over and over that while he used to be sweet—while he still had sweet moments—he’d done something unforgivable.

Summer pulled her smashed-from-lying-on-them-all-day curls into a ponytail, swiped on mascara, and added lip gloss for good measure. No reason not to look my best when I tell Cody to go to hell.

As she descended the stairs, Tiffany’s laugh, along with the blare of the TV, came from the living room. Cody stood in the entryway, shuffling his feet, eyes fixed on the floor. Summer slowly approached him, hating the way her heart tugged—the sight of him looking all sad and deflated made it hard to stay mad, and she needed to be strong. “What are you doing here?”

Cody scratched the back of his head. “I, uh, came to take you to the beach party.”

Summer glanced over her shoulder to make sure Dad’s attention was still on the movie, since he tended to play Spy Dad whenever her boyfr—ex boyfriend—was around. “You think I’m going to the party with the jerk who left me last night?”

“Summer, I’m so sorry about last night. I should’ve never left like that, and I swear it’ll never happen again.” He brought out his sad puppy-dog look and threw a hand over his heart. “It’s just that I care about you so much, and I get upset when you don’t feel the same way.”

Summer glared at him. “That’s the only way you know of to show you care?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” Cody reached out and took her hand. “But still, it’s no excuse. I was a jerk. A total asshole. I’m so sorry, and it won’t happen again.” Her first instinct was to pull away. But then his thumb brushed the back of her knuckles—it was always hard to think when he did that. He looked sincere, too, not like when he was only half paying attention, talking to her while playing his videogames. And she knew she wasn’t always the easiest person to get along with. There were dark days when she’d been mean to him for no reason.

“Please forgive me, baby,” he whispered. “I’ll give you all the time you need. No more pressure, I promise.” He used his grip on her hand to pull her into a hug. All the good memories of their relationship, the ones she’d been reliving all day came back to her. Surely they outweighed last night’s fight? And being in his strong arms again, the smell of his familiar woodsy cologne with just a hint of spice, calmed her. Made her feel wanted. Needed. Loved.

She put her hand on the side of his face and his blue eyes practically glowed in the dim light. “Okay,” she said. “Let me just change my clothes and we’ll go.” She raised her voice and called out, “Dad, we’re going to the beach.”

The noise coming from the television muted, and she knew Dad had paused whatever he and Tiffany were watching. “Is your phone charged?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Don’t forget your mace.”

“Yeah, those seagulls are aggressive.”

“Funny, Summer. Hey, Cody…?”

Cody stood straighter at the mention of his name. “Yes?”

“You take care of my little girl,” Dad said. “She better not look like she’s been crying when she comes home tonight, like she did last night. We have a two-strike rule in my house.”

Cody’s eyes widened and he mouthed, “Did you tell your dad?”

Summer shook her head and kept her voice low. “I didn’t say anything.” Dad had asked if she was okay when she checked in last night. She’d told him that she was just tired, then headed straight to bed. She thought she’d done a good job of acting like everything was okay. Somehow, he’d seen through it.

“I need to hear that you understand,” Dad’s voice boomed into the room.

“I understand, sir,” Cody said.

Summer hurried upstairs to change, leaving Cody there to stew. Nothing wrong with making him squirm for a few minutes after what he’d put her through.

* * *

Even though Cody promised he wouldn’t leave her stranded again, Summer insisted on driving. Dad had gone over all the safety features when he’d first given her the Civic. He’d gone on and on about the high crash ratings and said something about a body shell designed to withstand an impact. Summer was just glad to have a car, only caring that it got her where she wanted to go, looked nice, and had a good stereo.

As they headed to the beach, Cody talked about football practice and the game this next weekend, like nothing had changed. He kept leaning over and placing kisses on her cheek, too, telling her that she was pretty. Even though she’d told him that she forgave him—and she did—it was like a dark cloud was hanging over their relationship now. Even though she wanted to get over yesterday’s fight, she wasn’t sure she could just forget about it this time.

You know better than anyone that people make mistakes. She hoped that forgiving other people for their mistakes would help scrub away her past—she needed to know that a person could be forgiven, no matter what they’d done. She closed that door in her mind, like she worked so hard to do whenever she thought about it. Focus on the here and now. Beach. Boyfriend. Friends.

After finding a parking space, she and Cody walked toward the spot on the beach their group usually set up camp in. A football came hurtling through the air toward them. Cody released her hand and caught it with practiced ease, then tossed a beautiful spiral back to the guys.

Kendall ran up to Summer and enveloped her in a hug. “You came! I’m so glad! The guys are throwing the ball around…” Kendall made a shooing motion at Cody and tugged Summer the other direction. “The girls are over here.”

“I’ll come find you in a little while,” Cody said, walking backwards with his eyes on her, before turning to join the guys.

Kendall grinned at Summer. “I knew you two would make up.”

Summer wanted to say it wasn’t that simple, but arguing wouldn’t do any good, and she supposed she and Cody had made up. It was easier to just let it go, so that’s what she did. With the salt water-scented breeze floating over her, nothing mattered as much anyway. She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out. The beach had been a big selling point when Dad had sat her down at the beginning of last year and told her he was thinking of taking a job in San Diego. It didn’t take much to convince her to leave Chicago. A fresh start in a new place was something they both needed. And what better place to start over than sunny California, where the beach was practically her new backyard?

Summer said hi to the girls, drifting in and out of the many conversations they had going on. When everyone else was involved in talking about their upcoming dance routine, Summer broke away. She moved closer to the shore and sat in the sand, just a couple of feet back from where it was damp from the reaching fingers of the ocean. This was exactly what she needed. A couple of moments to relax in one of her favorite places.

“Hey, Sunshine.”

A smile spread across her face. Only one person called her that, and he’d been doing so since the day they’d met. “Mister Bond.”

She’d felt it only fair she give Troy Bond a nickname, too, so she’d decided on Mister Bond. Maybe not the most original, but it stuck. He sat next to her, and she turned toward him. “So, what are you doing here?”

“You know me,” he said with a casual shrug. “I love a good party.”

“But you think you’re above all the people at this party.”

Troy grinned, mischief dancing in his eyes. “I am. So are you, though, and you’re here. I suppose you came with that boyfriend of yours. How is Studmuffin anyway?” Troy refused to call Cody by his name, too, but the way he said the nickname was far from a compliment.

The real answer to his question was complicated, and one she didn’t plan on telling anyone, so she decided to go with a joke that was based in the truth. “I think he’s more muffin than stud today.”

Troy laughed, lifting her spirits with the sound. He actually got her jokes, which apparently wasn’t an automatic thing—who knew? Lately, they’d been hanging in different circles, though. At least they shared chemistry this semester, giving them a few minutes of interaction at school.

Summer remembered that Troy had a date last night, and she was glad he hadn’t answered her call during it—things would’ve gotten messy. “What about you and Lexi?”

Troy grabbed a handful of sand, then let it slowly drift through his fingers. “She’s pretty.”

“And?”

“That’s it. She’s pretty, but nothing else.”

“Yeah, the girl’s about as deep as the lyrics to a Kesha song.”

He laughed again, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his smile. “Sounds about right.”

Troy used to have shoulder-length hair that he constantly bleached. Since it was naturally dark, the process turned it orange instead of blond. But over the summer he’d sheared off most of it, returning it to its natural, almost-black color. He’d also filled out, going from tall and scrawny to tall with lean muscles tanned by all his hours in the sun. All the girls at school had noticed the transformation. The new look did suit him—of course, Summer had always thought he was cute.

“I didn’t really think you two would hit it off,” Summer said, leaning back on her hands and digging her fingers into the still-warm sand. “But she begged me to set you up with her.”

Troy twisted the leather bracelets on his wrist, the thumb ring he always wore glinting as it caught the last rays of the day. “Lexi and I were actually on our date when you called. I didn’t even see you’d called until really late last night. I figured if it’d been important, you would’ve left a message.” His eyes met hers as though he was asking a question more than making a statement.

Telling Troy that Cody left her stranded would only make him mad, and there was no point now that things had been mostly resolved. Working to sound casual, she swiped a hand through the air. “It was nothing. Just checking on your date, that kind of thing.”

“Summer?”

She glanced back at where the voice had come from. Cody came up behind her, face all twisted up in annoyance. “Hey. What are you doing all the way over here?”

“Just watching the waves with Mister Bond,” she said.

Cody extended his hand. “Let’s go hang out over by the rest of the guys.” Summer grabbed his hand and let him pull her to her feet. He wrapped his arm around her waist, looked at Troy, and gave him a tight nod. “Troy.”

Summer had asked Cody to be nice to her friend, but the way he regarded Troy barely bordered on civil. Of course, the look Troy was giving Cody, eyes narrowed, lips pressed tightly together, wasn’t much better.

Troy stood and brushed the sand off of his pants. “I’ll see you around, Sunshine.” His gaze lingered on her for a moment, then he turned and headed in the other direction.

* * *

Lexi and Kendall were talking handbags, something Summer couldn’t care less about. She glanced around, searching for Cody, when a group huddled together a few yards back caught her eye.

I should go over there. The thought had come out of nowhere. She lowered her eyebrows. What am I going to do? Stroll right up and introduce myself? It wasn’t like her at all, yet that was exactly what she felt like she should do. She continued to stare, a strange tug in her chest, wondering why she suddenly had the overwhelming impulse to meet them. Troy approached the tight circle of bodies and called out something she couldn’t make out—probably a hi, accompanied by whatever nicknames he’d given them.

“What do you think, Summer?” Kendall asked, putting her hand on Summer’s shoulder. “White or tan?”

Summer tore her attention from the group and looked at Kendall. She wasn’t sure if Kendall was still talking handbags or if they’d moved on to something else. “Tan,” Summer said, hoping she hadn’t just disagreed with Kendall.

“Are you sure? The white one is really in this season.” Kendall shoved her phone under Summer’s nose, and she caught sight of two Coach handbags on the screen.

“I think both are good, so whatever you think.”

Kendall gave a pleased nod, then turned back to the other girls, saying she was “Totally going to order it.”

As if her eyes couldn’t help themselves, they were drawn back to the group she’d been watching. Another tug in her chest. Frantic energy buzzed through her limbs, as if they were telling her to go over already. “Who’re they?” she asked Lexi, tilting her head to indicate who she was asking about.

Lexi glanced over her shoulder and wrinkled up her forehead. “Them? They’re the Reject Group.”

Summer thought of Troy’s assessment of Lexi—pretty and nothing else. The girl could do a splits jump like nobody’s business, but apparently nice had slipped the list. Summer liked to think of herself as nice. While she hadn’t gone out of her way to be mean to anyone, she supposed that lately, she hadn’t been all that nice either. “Do you know names? Anything else about them?”

“Um, the twins are in my math class.” Lexi flung out her hands. “Huge nerds. They even skipped a grade because they’re so super smart. The other guy is some weird kid who films everything, and I think the girl’s name is Ashley something. She was in my lit class last semester.”

“Ashlyn Moore?” Cold filled Summer as she said the name. With all her own drama, she’d pushed that problem back. Maybe even pretended it didn’t exist. After all, she had so much weird in her life, she simply couldn’t handle another issue.

“I think so.” Lexi narrowed her eyes. “You need a tutor or something?”

I’ve got to go meet her. With Troy there, at least I’ll have an in. Maybe that Gabriella lady had been some crazy hallucination and nothing more, but all her instincts screamed at her to go. Just as Summer started in their direction, Kendall cut in front of her, erasing her view of the—as Lexi had so nicely put it—Reject Group.

“So, I thought of a new move. We go…” Kendall started a series of arm movements, “and jump, two, three, four. Add these arm movements…” She performed another eight count. “Then the round starts in five, six, seven, eight.” She ended her demonstration and raised her eyebrows. “What do you think? It’s genius, isn’t it? And it fixes the gap we had in our routine.”

“It’s totally genius,” Lexi said. “And then we can add the kick line afterwards.”

“Yeah,” Summer said. “I think that’ll work. I’ll talk with you more about it in a second.”

Kendall frowned, sticking out her lower lip. “You’ve been distracted all night.”

“I know. I just have to go say hi to someone real fast, and then I’ll come back and we can talk dance moves, handbags—whatever you want.” Summer stepped around Kendall, determined to go meet Ashlyn.

But the spot where the group had been a moment ago was now empty.

All the energy flowing through her faded, and confusion filled her. Time slowed to a crawl, and it felt as if the earth had fallen off its axis, nothing quite making sense anymore.

Cody walked up, put his arm around her, and kissed her cheek. “Come on, baby. Let’s go sit by the fire.”

“But I…” Summer glanced around once more before giving in. How could they all disappear so fast? Was she seeing things now? No, Troy was there. Lexi saw them, too. She allowed Cody to lead her away. A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, growing worse with every step she took away.

Jack thrust a bottle in Summer’s face when she and Cody neared the circle of remaining people. “Beer?”

Summer waved it away. “No thanks.”

Jack extended it to Cody.

“Yeah, I’ll take one,” Cody said, wrapping his hand around it. “I’m going to need it since Summer wants me to be celibate forever.”

Summer pulled away from him, mouth hanging open. “I can’t believe you said that.”

“It was just a joke. You know, like the jokes you’re always telling? Besides, Kendall tells Jack everything anyway, so it’s not like it’s news to him.”

All she could for a moment do was stare. When did things get like this? I never used to take this kind of crap. This whole night kept showing her how passive she’d become. How she’d simply started fitting in and going with the flow, even if it headed a way she didn’t especially want to go.

“You made me the brunt of the joke,” she said through gritted teeth. “Am I just supposed to hang on your arm, bat my eyes, and tell you how amazing you are, even though you’re being an ass to me?”

“It was supposed to be funny. I don’t know why you’re getting all moody.” Cody reached for her, and she pulled away.

“Here’s a little FYI for you. Girls don’t like to be called moody! Ever!” Summer stormed toward her car, glad she’d insisted on driving.

Cody caught up to her in the parking lot. “Summer, I’m sorry. I keep screwing everything up.”

“Yes you do.” She unlocked her doors and got into her car. She tried to pull the door closed, but Cody grabbed it. “I’m done, Cody. I’m going home.”

“But if you go home now, your dad won’t let me come over anymore. Remember his strike out rule? I swear I was trying to be funny. I see now that it wasn’t funny. Just cut me some slack.”

Summer looked up at him, her chest tightening. “I think I need a break from us.”

“I don’t want to take a break. We’ll get past this rut we’re in. Like when you decided to treat me like shit for a month. It sucked, but we worked it out. Because that’s what you do when you care about someone.” He squatted down and grabbed her hand. “I don’t know why everything’s so hard with us lately. I just know I love you.”

She hovered the key over the ignition. A couple months ago, she was angry and depressed, not doing a good enough job of keeping that door in her mind closed, and everything Cody did irritated her. He’d been supportive and understanding, holding her tight and talking her down, even when she’d been horrible to him. The harder she pushed him away, the nicer he’d been. She apologized once she snapped out of it, and he forgave her without making her feel guilty.

“Baby?” Using his grip on her hand, he brought it to his chest. She felt his pounding heart, his warmth. “Let’s just forget about this weekend and start over. Will you let me do that?”

Summer looked into his blue eyes and thought of that dark period when they’d steadied her time and time again. They were a mess together, but she felt like even more of a mess when they were apart. She let out a long exhale. “Get in.”

Chapter Four

Summer dumped her notebook and chemistry book on the desk Monday morning and flopped into the chair. Her day had barely started, and she was already irritated at life in general. The ups and downs with Cody were still eating at her. She wasn’t sure she was ready to go back to happy, cuddly couple, like he wanted. But then she’d think of life without him, and she couldn’t decide if that meant she cared or she was just weak.

Troy took his usual spot to her left and draped his long arms across his desk, leaning in her direction. “I’ve got some scoop for you.”

She pushed away her stormy thoughts and spun to face him. “Sweet! I’ve always wanted my very own gossip girl.”

Troy scowled and sat back in his seat, arms crossed. “Now I’m not going to tell you. You don’t deserve to know.” He tried to pull off angry, but a twitch in the corner of his mouth gave him away.

Summer nudged his shoe with the toe of hers and shot him a smile. “Oh, come on. I’m really intrigued now.”

Troy raised an eyebrow, letting the suspense build. Just when she was about to ask if she had to beg, he ran a hand through his messy dark hair and said, “Unicorn Stench is playing at Equinox on Friday night.”

Her heart skipped a couple beats as she thought of seeing one of her favorite bands live. “But I thought they broke up. I heard Johnny and Francie couldn’t play together after their relationship went sour.”

“They got back together. Now they’re playing together again, too.”

Hmm. I guess it’s completely normal to break up and get back together. Everyone does it.

“Apparently, the breakup inspired them to write some awesome new songs.” Troy propped his elbows on his desk and leaned in close. “So, you down? I’m sure you have to check with Studmuffin and all, but you shouldn’t miss it.”

Summer lowered her eyebrows. “I don’t need permission from him. He’s my boyfriend, not my dad.”

Troy threw his hands up. “I just know that things got messy last time. You’re welcome to come with the group I’m getting together if your boyfriend doesn’t want to go.”

Summer and Troy used to go to Equinox together all the time. Kristen, his tattooed, leather-jacket-wearing girlfriend at the time, wasn’t exactly pleased with their friendship. Then Summer started dating Cody, and he wasn’t a big fan either. The last time she and Troy went to a show together, it had caused a major fight with Cody. Right now, though, Summer was annoyed enough with him not to care.

Mr. Jennings stood and cleared his throat, his way of telling everyone class was starting. “Get out your notebooks. This information is going to be on your next test.” He stood at the white board and started writing notes with his green marker.

“I’ll let you know about the show,” Summer whispered to Troy. She turned back to her desk and opened her notebook.

Ashlyn Moore’s name glared back at her in giant print. Summer quickly flipped to another page. And another. Every page had Ashlyn’s name written across it. Her heart rate picked up speed, each beat bringing pang of panic. She slammed her notebook closed. Engraved on the top of the desk, in giant, square letters, was Ashlyn’s name.

“What the hell?” Realizing where the message had to be coming from, she said, “I mean, heaven. Maybe.” Over the weekend, she’d decided the conversation with Gabriella had never happened. It had just been a weird dream. And that odd desire to meet Ashlyn at the beach party, that was just a coincidence. Her mind playing tricks on her. She even convinced herself that the brochure had come in the mail or slipped into her backpack somehow.

So much for my never happened theory. And denial seemed like such a good idea.

“You have a question, Summer?” Mr. Jennings asked.

Summer looked up from the engraving. Most of her classmates were staring at her, eyes wide. “No. I…I grabbed my wrong notebook. I’ll, um, just use the one I’ve got.”

Mr. Jennings took up his lecture again, and Summer’s gaze returned to her desk. The name wasn’t there anymore. She ran her hand over the surface of the desk, feeling the smooth, unblemished top underneath her fingertips. When she re-opened her notebook, she found the pages blank.

She exhaled a shaky breath, her heart still pumping way too fast. Okay, I get it. I don’t need any more freaky messages.

Obviously, she couldn’t put off her supposed assignment any longer. Meeting Ashlyn Moore just got bumped to the top of her to-do list.

* * *

The bell rang, and Summer gathered her books. She checked the desk one more time, expecting to see the name again, but found nothing. She put her hand on Troy’s arm. “Hey, do you know Ashlyn Moore?” she asked, wanting to see how well he knew her, and get any possible insight she could.

“Yeah. Cool girl. Good skater, too. I know she’s a fan of Unicorn Stench, so I was going to ask her if she wants to go with us to the show.”

“Can you introduce me to her? Like at lunch or something? I need to get to know her.” That last sentence was supposed to stay in her head. Maybe he wouldn’t notice.

Troy’s dark eyebrows drew together. So he noticed. “Suuure,” he said, drawing it out. “But why?”

“Um, long story. I…” No possible way to explain popped into her head. “Can you introduce me or not?”

His eyes bored into her, and she felt heat climb into her neck. She forced herself not to squirm under his scrutiny—if she’d known it was going to be this awkward, she would’ve skipped it and gone it alone. “Meet me by the front of the cafeteria and I’ll take you over,” he said.

“Thanks.” The heavy feeling she’d been carrying around since Friday afternoon lifted, and her muscles relaxed. Even if it turned out she was suffering from hallucinations and nothing more, the safe bet would be to at least introduce herself to the girl. If she was lucky, she’d simply meet someone new, there would be no follow up, and no one would be worse for wear.

Of course, she’d never been especially lucky.

* * *

As Summer walked with Kendall toward the cafeteria, apprehension churned in her gut. Meeting people had been hard enough when she’d first moved here. As soon as Summer proved she could dance, Kendall had pulled her into her circle of friends. She’d gotten comfortable there and remained isolated in her little group. Once she started dating Cody, she’d been so all about him that she made him most of her world.

And now she had to figure out what to say to a complete stranger. A complete stranger whom she was supposed to help somehow.

“I’m still so annoyed we don’t get to go anywhere for lunch. Closed campus sucks.” Kendall ran her icy-blue eyes down the girl in front of them and leaned closer to Summer. “What was that girl thinking, putting that skirt with those leggings? The stripes are so not flattering.”

Summer didn’t say anything. Already, she was going over greetings and good starter topics in her head.

“Are you even listening to me?” Kendall asked.

“Oh, um, I guess her outfit looks okay to me.”

“That’s right. You used to be fashion-challenged, too. Thank goodness you met me.”

Looking down at her own clothes, Summer realized Kendall heavily influenced what she wore. While she didn’t think she’d ever been fashion-challenged, it was true she’d gotten more into clothing and accessories once she moved here. Dressier, perfectly coordinated outfits had replaced the T-shirts and jeans she used to wear. Her feet were now conditioned for long days in heels. She even noticed when people didn’t match or wore two different styles that didn’t go together, something she never used to think about.

“Hey guys,” Kendall said as Jack and Cody headed toward them. Jack put his arm around Kendall; Cody reached out and grabbed Summer’s hand. Together, they finished the walk to the cafeteria.

Kendall twisted a lock of her hair around her finger. “So once we get to our table, I’ve got a few music suggestions for our dance routine.”

Summer had a feeling this wasn’t going to go over too well, but she didn’t have a choice anymore. “Actually, I’ve got to go talk to some people. I’m going to have lunch with them.”

“You’re not going to sit with me?” Cody asked.

“Not today.”

Cody’s posture stiffened. “Are you punishing me?”

Kendall didn’t let Summer answer him before adding her complaint. “Whatever it is can’t be more important than choosing the music for our routine. We don’t have a lot of time.”

“I’m sure whatever you and the girls decide is fine for music. You can show it to me at practice.” Summer turned to Cody, flinching at his hurt expression. “You’re not being punished. I’ll see you after school, okay?”

She spotted Troy in the corner, waiting for her. “Later,” she called over her shoulder, quickening her step before either of them could protest further. When she reached Troy, she swung an arm in front of her. “After you, Mister Bond.”

She followed him to the back of the lunchroom, where he stopped at the last, tucked-into-a-corner table. “Hey guys,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“Aaron and Darren are locked in a heated death match again,” a girl with mousy-colored hair said.

“A death match?” Summer glanced at the two boys who were the epitome of nerd. They both had giant foreheads, round glasses, and long limbs exploding out of their tiny torsos. “That sounds serious.”

“It’s just chess,” the girl said.

One of the guys froze, his hand hovering over one of the pieces. “Pfht! ‘Just chess!’”

Troy seemed unfazed, like this happened all the time. “So, I want you guys to meet Summer.”

All eyes moved to her.

“This is Aaron and Darren.” Troy pointed at the two boys playing chess. “Twins, in case it wasn’t obvious.”

They flashed her identical toothy grins. “Nice to meet you,” one of them said.

“Howdy,” the other added.

“They’re also amazing with computers and math. That’s Marcie.” Troy pointed at the girl who’d informed them about the death match. Everything about the girl was plain. No makeup. Faded, shapeless clothes. Hair pulled into a low ponytail.

“Nelson.” Troy motioned toward a pale kid with startling black hair. The charcoal hue had to be the result of hair dye.

“And this is Ashlyn.” Troy pointed to the last person in the group. The one Summer needed to get close to.

Ashlyn’s shiny brown hair hung down past her shoulders. She had on a cute red top that brought out the color in her cheeks. She looked healthy. A little too healthy. She’d be really pretty if she did a little exercise and lost twenty or thirty pounds.

A wave of guilt hit Summer. She felt bad her mind automatically went all judgmental. “Hi everyone,” she said when she realized she should say something.

Ashlyn narrowed her eyes and gave Summer the once over. “So, what are you doing over here at the island of misfits? We’re not your usual group.”

Summer shrugged. “I thought I should get to know more people. Broaden my horizons.”

“Yay for us,” Ashlyn mumbled.

This is going to be harder than I thought. Summer had pictured herself swooping in, fixing whatever problems this girl had going on, then moving on with her normal life.

“Mind if I join you guys for lunch?” Summer asked, determined not to give up.

Marcie scooted over, making room for Summer and Troy.

Summer sat down and ate a few bites of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich before trying again. “So, Ashlyn, Troy tells me you’re a fan of Unicorn Stench.”

“I like all awesome bands,” Ashlyn said.

“See, I usually go for the un-awesome.”

Ashlyn glared. Like Kendall, she didn’t seem to be a fan of sarcasm.

Summer looked to Troy for support. He was talking to the Nelson kid, no longer part of the conversation with Ashlyn. Giving up on his help, she turned her attention back to the girl. “Anyway, I can’t wait to hear their new stuff.”

“Me neither,” Ashlyn said. Not with any enthusiasm, but the hate seemed to be at bay for now.

Summer’s gaze drifted to her usual table, where all her friends sat, laughing and talking. She wanted to be over there with them, where things wouldn’t be all weird, and forget this whole thing. With a sigh, she turned back to her sandwich and the girl she was ordered to get to know by the Angel of Death.

Just power through, and it’ll be done before you know it.

Chapter Five

Summer changed into her T-shirt, shorts, and sneakers and headed into the gym. Most of the girls were already warming up. They had their limbs taut, stretching and prepping for practice. Summer was able to squeeze in a few stretches before Kendall stood in the middle of the floor and ordered everyone to get into position.

No matter what else was going on, at least she had dancing to help block out all the other stress in her life. Back in Chicago, Summer had quit the school dance team before the end of the season, unable to focus or deal with life in general, much less learn new routines. But when she and Dad moved here, she decided she missed it too much—even if it did remind her of Mom. It reminded her of the good things, which helped keep the bad memory at bay.

Kendall displayed the new moves. Since Summer had seen them at the beach party, picking them up was a cinch. They went over it several times all together before breaking into groups and practicing to the music.

An hour later, Kendall declared it good enough for today, bringing practice to an end. “You wanna come hang out at my house?” she asked Summer as they walked off the gym floor.

Summer couldn’t stop thinking about a way to get Ashlyn to stop hating her so she could do her supposed job and get on with her life. She was going straight home and reading that brochure Gabriella had left for her to read, hoping it held all the answers she’d need. “Not tonight. I’ve got tons of homework. Plus, my dad wants me home since I was out all weekend.”

“But you were home on Sunday,” Kendall whined.

Summer readjusted the strap on her backpack so it wouldn’t keep pulling her hair. “I know. But you know how parents can be.”

Kendall rolled her eyes. “Such a pain sometimes. Can you at least give me a ride home? My brother’s got my car.”

Summer nodded and hit the unlock button so they could both climb in. She took the familiar roads toward her best friend’s house, mind still focused on Ashlyn. Every time she thought about her, her limbs filled with that same frantic energy she’d felt the other night at the beach. Do something! her body seemed to be saying.

“Have you seen the size of Georgia’s butt lately?” Kendall asked. “It’s getting bigger by the day. Someone needs to tell her that carbs are so not her friend.”

“Stay in your lane, buddy,” Summer said to the car next to her before turning her attention to one that just cut ahead. “And how about using a blinker next time you decide to switch lanes?”

“You know they can’t hear you, right?”

“I wish they could. They could use some driving advice from someone like me, who so obviously excels at it.”

“You’re being weird again.” Kendall gave Summer the I’m-getting-annoyed look.

Kendall also hated when she talked to the radio. Like when she groaned, “Not this song again.” Or said, “Maybe we’ll come back to you if we can’t find a better song.” Or when the DJs told her to keep it locked to their station, and she’d say, “I will if you shut up and play some music.”

Since Kendall viewed all those comments as unacceptable, Summer drove without saying anything, the radio the only sound breaking up the silence. She’d hook up her phone to play through her speakers—she was still trying to convince Dad she needed SiriusXM—but she and Kendall didn’t like the same kind of music either.

“So how are things with you and Cody now?” Kendall asked. “You guys get it all worked out?”

Now this was a subject she could use Kendall’s advice on. Maybe talking about it would help her sort it out for herself. “Things have been rough lately. Do you ever feel like Jack doesn’t understand you? Or even know anything about you?”

“Sure. Boys are clueless. It would be that way with any boy. You know the saying—can’t live with ‘em; can’t live without ‘em.” Kendall pulled down the visor and applied some lip gloss. “Since Jack and I took things to another level, things have actually been going really good. He’s happier, and it’s just easier.”

Is Kendall suggesting I do whatever it takes to make Cody happy? What about keeping myself happy? Part of her wanted to give in—to just get sex over with and see if things got better between them. But another part urged her to be strong.

She lifted her chin and gripped the steering wheel tighter. She wasn’t going to be bullied into losing her virginity, whether or not her boyfriend dumped her because of it. “I’m not sure I’m ready for sex, and I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do.”

“I’m not suggesting that you do.” Kendall flipped the visor back into place and twisted in her seat to face her. “I’m only suggesting you give the boy a break. He’s the quarterback, he’s cute, and he loves you. He’s a catch, and you’d have a hard time finding a better boyfriend. Let’s not forget that he shut down Jenna Cambell. No one says no to that skank. Except Jack, of course. The boy simply adores me.” She put her hand on Summer’s shoulder. “But if you want to wreck your relationship and hate Cody, you know I’ll be on your side. I just think you should remember all the good stuff before making a decision you’ll regret.”

Kendall was right, of course. Cody did have lots of good qualities, and she’d miss him like crazy if they broke up. But were his good qualities enough to make up for the fact he didn’t respect her decision to wait? And what about the fact that he didn’t understand her?

No one really knows me. Not Cody, not Kendall, not anybody. They all knew the shell of the person she used to be. These days, she wasn’t even sure she knew who she was anymore. All day she’d been thinking how sad it was she didn’t have someone she could confide in. No one would believe she’d been visited by the freakin’ Angel of Death—she hardly believed it herself. And she couldn’t tell anyone that she saw people’s deaths before they happened. She couldn’t even tell her own dad. Summer feared he’d never forgive her if she told him her darkest secret.

“Remember how sad you were when you first moved here?” Kendall asked, her voice soft. “I could tell you needed a friend. Now you’ve got the dance squad, you’ve got me, and you’ve got Cody. People would kill to be in your shoes. Especially since you’ve upgraded shoes,” she joked. “You’re happier now, right?”

Depression had weighed her down when she’d first moved here. It still tugged at her now and then, but for the most part, she kept it contained to a crying breakdown in her bedroom every now and then. Part of the reason she could deal better now was because Kendall had gotten her mind onto brighter, happier things. She’d plugged Summer into the highest social circles. Getting back into dancing had also helped. And the fact that she simply refused to think about the past when it came knocking.

“I am happier,” Summer said. “I guess I forgot how bad I used to be.”

“Plus you had those out-of-control curls. Someone needed to introduce you to anti-frizz serum.” Kendall poked at Summer’s hair. “Way better.”

Summer pulled up to Kendall’s house and threw the car in park.

Kendall gathered her multiple bags—handbag, book bag, and gym bag. “Thanks for the ride. Call me if you need me.”

Yeah, Kendall was a little shallow. But she meant well. Even if her main contribution to society involved doling out fashion and hair advice.

* * *

Summer sat on her bed, reading her Repairing Friendships and Mending Broken Relationships brochure.

Communication is Key - Open the lines. Nothing can happen unless you tell them how you feel and ask how they feel. Do it in a courteous, calm way.

Swallow Your Pride - Try seeing things from the other person’s perspective.

Apologize - You might think that you were wronged as well, but that doesn’t mean you can’t apologize.

Take action - Put yourself out there and do something nice.

Summer groaned. It all seemed so basic. Stuff people would’ve done if they were at all interested in repairing a relationship. She tossed the brochure onto her nightstand.

When she turned back, Gabriella stood at the end of her bed.

Summer jumped, clutching her chest to make sure her heart didn’t escape. “Geez!”

“I’ve come to check on your progress,” Gabriella said.

After she got over the initial shock, relief filled her at seeing Gabriella again, looking identical to the way she remembered her. It meant she wasn’t crazy. Or maybe she was crazy enough to see the same person over and over again and had surpassed all help. That kind of crazy seemed more blissful than the in-between kind.

“Listen,” Summer said, “I’m glad you’re here, because you need to pick someone else for this job. Ashlyn hates me.”

“Oh, I’m sure she doesn’t hate you.”

“She does. I tried to meet her today and—”

“You barely met her today?” Gabriella frowned and started pacing, pink skirt rustling every time she spun in the opposite direction. “Have you at least made plans with her? I said that you have longer than most, but that doesn’t mean you have time to dilly dally.”

Summer hung her head. “I’ve had a lot going on.”

Gabriella halted her pacing and put a fist on her hip. “More important than a girl’s life?”

Summer stared back, not knowing how to respond to a question like that. No response seemed good enough. Her stomach dropped and the guilt started. “I don’t know how to do this.”

Gabriella sat down on the bed, her dress billowing up around her. “Look honey, I know. You’re really young—younger than most—and I wish I had more time to help you out. I can assure you that you’re the best person for this job. Not just the best, the only person who can help Ashlyn. We’re never wrong about these things.”

“I think you’re wrong this time.”

“I’m not. Now, you need to get close to her. Get her to trust you so that you can figure out how to repair her relationship with her mother before it’s too late.”

“But like I told you, she haaates me.”

“I have faith in you. You’ll figure out something. You Ciphers always do.” Gabriella patted Summer’s knee. “You’re our little miracle workers. Now, remember that nothing can replace genuine care. And what’s the best way to genuinely care about somebody?”

Summer shrugged.

“Get to know her. I know you can see the best in people. You’ve always had that gift. Even if you haven’t been practicing it as much lately.” Gabriella’s watch chimed and she looked down at it.

Summer couldn’t see what the digital message said, but there were definitely letters flashing across the face, a name, if she had to guess.

“Oh heavens, is he really dying now? I thought that was scheduled for tomorrow morning. Looks like I’ve got to go collect another one. Just embrace that this is what you were born to do, and you’ll find you have more strength than you ever imagined. Goodbye for now, darling.” Gabriella waved, then disappeared, her shimmery outline burned in Summer’s mind.

Over and over she heard Gabriella’s voice, words that felt like they’d stabbed through her skin and dug into her chest. I know you can see the best in people. You’ve always had that gift. Even if you haven’t been practicing it as much lately.

No, she supposed she hadn’t been searching for the best in other people lately. Part of her faith in humanity had never been healed, and she didn’t know if it was good to get her optimism back. You can’t have your faith destroyed if you don’t have any in the first place.

Chapter Six

Cody frowned. “You’re going to sit with them again?”

Summer had spent every lunch since Monday with the group who called themselves The Misfits, trying to win Ashlyn over. At first she’d found herself wishing to be back with her friends—with Kendall and Cody especially. Little by little, though, she was getting to know the people in the other group. She was even beginning to enjoy her lunches filled with unexpected conversations not involving the latest gossip or who was wearing an uggo outfit.

Summer wrapped her arms around Cody’s waist. “I’m going to sit with them for lunch, but I was hoping that after practice you’d come over to my place. My dad and Tiffany are going to be out late tonight, and I could use some company.” She tipped onto her toes and kissed him, knowing this situation called for a little lip on lip persuasion. “What do you say?”

Cody hugged her closer, pressing his hands into the small of her back. “Okay.” He gave her another kiss, lingering for long enough that Summer’s knees were wobbly by the end of it. She nearly teetered when he released her and headed toward his usual table to sit by Jack.

Summer walked toward The Misfits’ table, thinking she was glad she’d stuck it out with Cody. They were on their way back to normal, and she had a feeling she’d need the support over the next…however long it took to take care of this thing with Ashlyn.

“Hey, guys,” she said as she settled into the seat next to Marcie—the girl was sweet as they came, kind and giving and always checking on everyone in the group. Almost like a mom, Summer thought with a pang of longing.

“’Sup, Summer?” Aaron asked, and Darren pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and nodded. The twins were totally obsessed with chess and math, but also nice, with an odd, yet charming sense of humor. And Nelson—well, he marched to the beat of his own drum. He talked on and on about role-playing games, practically speaking a foreign language as far as Summer was concerned. He also carried a digital camera around in order to record every little thing he found interesting. Which, yesterday, had included the way she ate her Double Stuf Oreos—push the chocolate cookies together, lick off the frosting that squeezed out the sides, then eat the rest in two bites. All of them got such a kick out of it, and by the end she was laughing, too.

They’d all been so nice to her, and you just can’t dislike genuine, nice people.

So far, Ashlyn was the only one from the group who’d remained distant and cold. For three days Summer had failed to break through the girl’s tough exterior. Strained, one-word answers filled the conversations she’d tried to have with her. With any luck, today would be the day Ashlyn decided to give her a chance.

Summer smiled across the table at her. “How’s your day going?”

Ashlyn narrowed her gaze, the way she tended to do whenever she looked at Summer. “I saw you with your boyfriend. Why don’t you eat lunch with him?”

“Because I’ll see him later. Right now, I thought I’d hang with you guys.”

“You’re on the dance team, though. The dance team filled with girls who like to make fun of us. I thought you all stuck together and frowned upon independent thinking.”

“Come on, give her a break.” Marcie gave Summer a warm smile. “I like having another person to talk to.”

“Yeah, Ash,” Darren said. “We like Summer being here. We need all the cool we can get.”

“You guys are plenty cool on your own,” Summer said.

Darren grinned, and there was a piece of lettuce stuck to one of his teeth.

Aaron was gripping a pawn in his hand, like it might run away if he didn’t keep his hold on it. “No one’s ever accused us of being cool.”

“Well, I’m accusing you, and I think soon the jury’s going to find you guilty,” Summer said.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. “I still don’t get your game. No one would choose us over the cool crowd.”

“Maybe I need a little more intellectual stimulation.” Summer smiled over at Darren and Aaron. “Someday I’m going to have you guys teach me how to play chess.”

“And do your homework for you?” Ashlyn asked—more like accused.

“I do okay on my own.”

Darren glanced away from the chess board. “I’ll help you if you want.”

“Let me help you,” Aaron said. “Darren doesn’t know the difference between the tangent line and the secant line.”

“Whatever!” Darren shot back, and the two of them started arguing.

“Now look what you’ve done.” Ashlyn leaned in and lowered her voice. “If you end up hurting their feelings, I’ll make you pay.”

Summer locked eyes with her. “I swear to you, I’m genuinely interested in being friends with them. And you. I don’t understand why you won’t give me a chance. Did I do something to you?”

Ashlyn shook her head. “No. And I’m going to make sure it stays that way.” She tossed her half-eaten apple in her lunchbox and stormed off.

Argh! Things are getting worse instead of better. How am I supposed to fix Ashlyn’s relationship with her mom when I can’t even establish a relationship with Ashlyn?

“Don’t worry,” Marcie said. “She’ll come around.”

Summer watched Ashlyn walk out of the room. But will she come around before it’s too late?

* * *

Summer snuggled with Cody on the couch while the movie played in the background. He leaned in and kissed her neck. “You sure your dad’s not going to be back until late?”

“Yeah, he and Tiffany went to LA to see some play.”

Cody’s lips moved to hers. “You’re so hot.”

“You’re pretty hot yourself,” she said, running her hand down his perfect face and then parting her lips against his. He laid her back against the couch, swirling his tongue around hers. His hands slid up, under her shirt, slipping beneath her bra. He pressed his hips against hers.

Summer’s heartbeat skyrocketed, and her thoughts got fuzzy.

“Summer,” he said on an exhale. The tips of his fingers on her skin made goose bumps break out across her skin. He dragged them down her stomach. “I’m so glad we’re finally doing this.” He undid the button of her pants and she sucked in a breath. Wait? Doing this?

Oh holy crap, she still wasn’t sure.

And until she was…

“Wait, Cody,” she rasped.

He ignored her, moving to undo her zipper, so she had to push him. “Stop.”

“Damn it, Summer!” He sat back and glared at her, that angry muscle working in his jaw again. “When you told me your dad was going to be out late, I thought you meant…You know. That we could finally—”

“Well, I didn’t!” Summer scooted away from him, re-buttoning her pants. Her breaths were still coming too fast, and she missed his weight on top of her, even as she was thinking inviting him over was a mistake. “I meant what I said. That I could use the company. That we could hang out.”

Cody shook his head. “It’s not enough anymore. I think you’re just playing with me. I tell you I love you, and you never say anything back. You constantly push me away. You’re a tease. I put up with a lot that I wouldn’t have to with someone else.”

Hot tears sprung to her eyes, and she tried to quickly blink them away. “You said you were done pressuring me.”

“Do you love me?”

“You know I do,” she said, surprising herself. Maybe she’d held back saying it, but she knew she did love him. That was why it was so hard to fight with him. To not have sex, when she wasn’t even sure exactly why she was holding back. It wasn’t like the desire wasn’t there.

“Well, I’m sick of going home frustrated and in pain every night,” Cody said, his voice harsh. “Is that how you want me to feel?”

An ache formed over her heart, deepening with every beat. “You’re trying to guilt me into it?”

“No, I’m just saying, I’m done with this. You tell me to go, I’ll go.” Cody’s eyes bored into hers. “But if I do, I’m leaving for good. This is it.”Summer clenched her jaw. He’d given her an ultimatum. Give it up or he’d find someone else. Pain squeezed her chest and more tears were rising, blurring her vision. “Go then! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Cody stood and headed for the door.

This is it. If he walks out the door, it’s over.

He didn’t even turn back and look at her before slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Summer jerked up on the couch when she heard Dad come home. Her eyes burned from a combination of crying and staring at the television, and she had that special kind of headache that came from letting all of your emotions explode out of you in the span of a couple of hours.

“Hey, kid.” Dad flopped onto the couch next to her and sank back against the cushions. “What are you still doing up?”

Summer took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. “Couldn’t sleep. How was the play?”

“Tiffany liked it. I got a little bored.” Dad’s eyebrows knitted together as he studied her face. “Have you been crying over that boy, because I was serious about the two-strike rule.”

Suddenly, she felt like a little kid, and damn it, she wanted her mommy. She leaned her head on her dad’s shoulder, blinking against the fresh wave of tears. “We broke up. It’s over.” Telling Dad also ensured she wouldn’t fall for another sorry apology, even if Cody attempted one.

Dad tentatively patted her knee, as though he wasn’t really sure how to comfort her. “Do you…want to talk about it? I realize I’m not your mom…”

Mom would’ve been smother-hugging her by now; then there’d be ice cream. So much ice cream. Summer’s heart thudded, and she wanted to laugh and cry, all at the same time.

“…but I can try. I’m good at listening, anyway.”

The image of Dad strangling Cody popped into her head. No way she’d be telling him the truth about what happened. She sat up and scooted to the end of the couch. “Thanks, but I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

“Night, kid.”

“Night, Dad.” Already Summer’s thoughts were on how crappy tomorrow was going to be.

Chapter Seven

Summer put on her game face and trudged up the steps of the school. She’d been tempted to call in sick, but the Unicorn Stench show was today. No way Dad would let her skip school and still go to the concert.

Please let tonight be the night I finally connect with Ashlyn. I could really use a win.

“So,” Kendall said, stepping next to Summer. “I was thinking tomorrow night we make our boys take us to dinner. There’s this great new seafood place on the beach where The Shack used to be, and Jack said it’s really good.”

“Cody and I broke up last night.” Saying the words aloud made Summer want to start crying all over again.

Kendall came to an abrupt stop, her eyes going wide. “Shut up!”

Summer told her friend the same thing she’d been telling herself since last night: “It’s for the best. He and I weren’t working anymore.”

Kendall slid her arm around Summer’s waist and gave her a quick side hug. “I’m so sorry. I know it seems like the end of the world now, but you two just need some space. He’ll realize what he’s lost and come crawling back, you mark my words.”

“Kendall, it’s over. There’s nothing he could say…” Summer rubbed her temples, the headache she’d had since last night growing with a vengeance. “I don’t want to talk or even think about it anymore.”

“Well, it explains why you look so rough this morning.” Kendall’s gaze dropped to the T-shirt Summer had thrown on, disapproval filling her eyes. “I know how to make you feel better, though. You can come over tonight and we’ll have a girls’ night. We can eat ice cream and watch a movie.”

“Thanks, but I’m going to a show with Troy and some other friends.”

“But you’re planning on eating lunch with the girls today, right?” Kendall’s eyebrows shot up. “People are starting to wonder about you, you know. Everyone’s asking me why you’ve gone all weird lately.”

Summer pushed through the front doors of the school. “Let them wonder. I don’t have the energy to deal with it. Besides, they’ll all be happy I’m not there. It’ll give them a chance to gossip about me and Cody’s break up.” She gave a half-hearted wave to Kendall and weaved her way through the crowded hallway, headed toward her locker.

She froze when she saw Cody standing in the hall, her heart stopping along with her feet. While she imagined she looked all mopey, he seemed to be perfectly fine. In fact, he had his arm around Jenna Cambell, the very skank who’d thrown herself at him when Summer had been out of town last month. If there was any truth at all to Jenna’s reputation, Cody shouldn’t have a problem getting what he wanted from her.

Pain radiated through her chest. She wished that his being a jerk last night erased all feelings she had for him. Unfortunately, it didn’t work that way.

Doing her best to bury her sorrow deep, where no one else could see it, she retrieved her books as quickly as possible and charged down the hall. When she got into her first period classroom, she sat down and took big breaths, trying to erase the images and hurt feelings, and failing at both.

“Ready for the show tonight?” Troy asked. “It’s going to be awesome.”

Summer glanced at Troy and did her best to sound enthusiastic. “Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.”

Troy’s eyebrows drew together. “You look kind of sad, Sunshine. What’s up?”

Summer shook her head, not wanting her voice to betray her. Her throat burned with the effort to keep from bursting into tears, but she managed to choke out, “Nothing.”

Troy opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Mr. Jennings stood and started his lecture. He dove into the topic of ionic and covalent bonds, managing to add even more to Summer’s misery.

* * *

Summer stuffed her money into her pocket and hurried out of her bedroom. As she descended the stairs, Troy and Dad came into view. They stood in the entryway, their voices too low for her to make out words. When she’d first started dating Cody, Dad kept asking what had happened to Troy. He hadn’t been very subtle when it came to his preference about who he’d rather her spend time with. Even after she explained that she and Troy were still friends, but they were both with other people, Dad continued to ask about him.

Dad stuck his fingers between the blinds, creating a gap large enough to see out the window, and peered outside. “You’re still driving the Cherokee, I see.”

The first time Troy had picked her up to go to Equinox, Dad had gone out to inspect the Jeep. Instead of acting annoyed like most people did, Troy had gotten down on the ground and proved how much he knew about his vehicle. Dad ate it up.

“I am,” Troy said. “And all the maintenance is up to date.”

“Good.” Dad turned away from the window and looked at her. “Just you and Troy tonight?”

“No, we’re picking up a couple more people. It’s not a raging party unless you’ve got lots of peeps.” Summer stuck out her tongue and threw both hands up in the rock and roll sign.

Dad let her know he didn’t think her joke was funny by furrowing his brow. “You’ve got your mace?”

“Dad, they won’t let me into the club with mace.”

“Right.” Dad gave Troy a stiff pat on the back. “Then I’m counting on you. Don’t let her out of your sight.”

Troy slung his arm over Summer’s shoulders, jostling her against him. “I’ll take good care of her, Mr. Davis, I swear.” He grinned, obviously happy with his over-the-top performance—she couldn’t help but smile at it either.

Dad gave one sharp nod. “I like this guy. Troy, you should come over more often.”

“Oh, I’m sure Summer’s boyfriend would feel differently.”

“You didn’t tell him?” Dad asked, glancing at Summer. “In theory, Cody’s history. Right, kid?”

Summer breathed through the sting those words caused and nodded. “Right. Now we’re going to be late if you don’t let us go. We’ve still got more people to pick up, and who knows how long their parents’ protective speeches are going to be.”

“Okay, okay. Be good, and be careful. Remember, defensive driving is smart driving.”

“Later, Dad.” Summer grabbed Troy’s arm and pulled him out the door, wanting to forget about everything and get on with this night. An entire week had gone by since she’d first seen Gabriella, and so far, she didn’t have anything to show for her efforts. Tonight’s mission was to get Ashlyn over her prejudice so Summer could start with the rest of her job, which she still had no clue how to do.

Troy opened the passenger door of the Jeep for her. He got in, and fired up the engine. “So, you and Cody are finished?”

“We broke up yesterday.”

Troy glanced over his shoulder, then pulled onto the street. “Why?”

Summer took a deep breath, trying to figure out how much to share.

“Sorry,” Troy said. “I guess I shouldn’t be prying.”

“I really just want to forget about him and have fun tonight.” She picked at a thread on her jeans, not wanting to say more, but not wanting things to be weird. “Hey, you think they’ll play Obligatory tonight? I’ve always wanted to hear it live.”

“They better. It is the song our friendship was founded on. That and the keys.”

Summer grinned, remembering the first day she met Troy.

Feeling a little lost and lonely at her new school, Summer had put in her earphones, turned up her music, and found an empty bench outside. A group of boys were skateboarding around the parking lot, jumping curbs and doing tricks. She watched them, remembering her brief stint as a skateboarder back in Chicago—she’d taken it up to impress a guy. She crashed a lot, never got a hang of the really cool tricks, and ended up realizing the guy was totally wrong for her, though he ended up being a great friend.

Troy’s tricks brought him closer and closer to the bench. After a few minutes, he rolled up to her, tapped the end of the skateboard with his foot, and caught it in his hand. “So, what are you listening to?”

“Obligatory, by Unicorn Stench,” Summer said, thinking she was hardcore. Hardly anyone had heard of the band.

“You know they’re from here. I saw them play last year.”

“Really? I bet they’re killer live.”

“It was definitely one of the best shows I’ve ever been to.” He sat next to her on the bench. “How ‘bout The Black Keys?”

Summer scrolled down her list of songs and held her iPod up so Troy could see all the Black Keys’ songs on the screen. “Not only do I have ‘Wicked Messenger’ by them, I also have Bob Dylan’s version. And while the purist in me wants to say the original’s better, I can’t help but love the Black Keys’ version. The guitar and the drums and Dan Auerbach’s voice.” She gave a dramatic sigh. “It’s just all so perfect.”

“I think that’s the hottest thing a girl’s ever said to me.” Troy grabbed her hand. “Run away with me?”

She laughed, and it came out a little nervous sounding, due to the fact he was holding her hand and her stomach was filling with butterflies.

He smiled at her, still not letting go. “Troy, by the way.”

“Summer.”

“Troy, are you coming, or what?” One of the guys in the parking lot yelled.

“Sounds like I’ve got to go.” Troy released her hand and grabbed his board. “I’ll see you around, Sunshine,” he said and then strolled toward the parking lot where his friends were holding open a car door for him. She was starting after him when he spun around and flashed her another smile.

Imagine her disappointment when she found out he already had a girlfriend.

After that first meeting, she would be walking down the halls and hear, “Hey, Sunshine!” Immediately, she’d know it was Troy, coming to update her on a cool new band he’d heard. He was much more of a music snob than she was. He hated the dance music she loved, claiming if instruments weren’t involved it wasn’t true music, and there was no convincing him otherwise.

Now, Summer stared at him again, taking in his profile in the dim interior of the Jeep. A lot had changed since the day they’d met. Yet being there with him, on their way to a show, reminded her of everything she used to love doing. Of all the little things she’d given up because of her relationship with Cody.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight,” she said. “I’m really excited to hear the new stuff.”

Troy glanced at her. “Me too. I’m glad we’re hanging out again.”

A spark of happiness broke through the sadness she’d been feeling all day. If only it could carry through the night and help her accomplish her mission, she might just survive the week after all.

* * *

Equinox was busier than normal. People lined the bar, and there was room to walk, but just barely. As usual, the black floors of the old building were slightly sticky. Small tables dotted the back half of the room and ran up along the sides. Flashing lights lit the dance floor in the middle. Up front, the stage stuck out in a semi-circle.

The place brought back memories of Summer’s first few months here, when she’d been all about coming to the shows with Troy and his friends. Whenever Kristen had come with them, she’d stare Summer down, keeping herself draped around Troy the entire time.

“It feels good to be back,” Summer said, even enjoying the familiar scent of stale, sweat-tinged air. After the big blowout fight she and Cody had about her going places with Troy, she’d stopped coming to Equinox altogether.

Who needs him? It’s nice to be free again.

“Let’s go find a place close to the stage,” said Kevin, a friend of Troy’s they’d picked up on the way. “Then we can see how they set up.”

Troy bounced on the balls of his feet, the way he did when he was especially excited about a show. “Sounds good.”

Summer wanted a read on Ashlyn, so as they followed the guy toward the front, she bumped into her, making sure their arms brushed. No grim scenes flashed before Summer’s eyes, but Ashlyn shot her a dirty look.

“Sorry,” Summer mumbled. “It’s kind of crowded.” Well, at least Ashlyn should make it through the night. Next step, getting the girl to stop hating her. “So, what’s your favorite song by these guys?”

“Finding Me. It got me through a hard time in my life.”

“That’s a good one. My personal fave is I Should.”

“Yeah, every poseur likes that song.”

Summer’s mouth dropped open. Before she could respond to that accusation—she was so not a poseur—Ashlyn moved to the other side of Kevin. Clearly, she was never going to like her.

Maybe I should just give her the stupid relationship brochure and feel good I’ve done my part.

Troy glanced back at her, then jerked his head to gesture her over. “Can’t take my eyes off you, remember?”

It took her a moment to realize he was echoing Dad’s orders. “Right,” she said, stepping next to him.

“Hey.” Troy put his hand on her back and leaned close enough to be heard over the guy announcing tonight’s line-up. “We’re about to watch one of our favorite bands. You shouldn’t look so sad.”

Summer glanced from Ashlyn back to Troy. “Ashlyn hates me. I’ve tried to be nice, but she’s determined to keep disliking me for whatever reason.”

“So? Why do you care if she likes you? She’s a cool girl and all, but you have other friends.”

It would be nice to be able to tell the truth. The whole truth would be hard to swallow, though. Summer struggled to get it down herself, and she’d started seeing…whatever Gabriella was. She shrugged. “I just got a feeling that we would be friends. I have excellent intuition you know.”

“Well, I’ve seen who you hang out with most of the time, so you’ll understand if I doubt your intuition.”

Summer elbowed him. “Hey, I hang out with you, Mister Bond. Apparently, I’ve chosen some of my friends well.”

A grin spread across his face. “You’ve got me there.”

The crowd around them erupted in cheers as Unicorn Stench took the stage. Summer went ahead and hollered along with them. She yelled even louder when they opened with I Should.

Francie’s scratchy voice echoed through the room as she sang out the lyrics.

If I told you I missed you, would you change your mind

If I begged you to stay, would you still leave me behind

I know I should move on, I should try

Instead of sitting here alone, asking why

I should go back and change the day we met,

delete the day our paths first crossed

Maybe then, oh maybe then, I wouldn’t feel so lost

I should’ve kept my guard up instead of letting it down

Shouldn’t have given my heart away

But there’s no point in should’ves anyway

I should let you go now

I should

But we both know that I’ve never been any good

At doing what I should

I’m not a poseur, Summer thought again. “I Should” is just a good song. Anyone who listens can see—well, hear—that.

During intermission, Ashlyn headed toward the edge of the crowd. A mix of determination, fear, and this weird feeling in her gut drove Summer to follow. Tonight might be her last chance to get through to the girl, and she planned on giving it all she had.

“They played your song,” Summer said when she came up blank on anything else to talk about. “I’m gonna listen to it more now. Maybe it’ll help me through my rough spot.”

Ashlyn gave an exaggerated sigh. “What could you possibly have in your life that’s rough? You’re on the dance squad, and your boyfriend’s a football star and one of the best-looking guys in school. Forgive me if I doubt your problems are real problems.”

Summer kept trying to tell herself she didn’t need Cody, but her heart still clenched whenever she thought of her recently-exed-boyfriend. “For your information, my boyfriend and I broke up because I wouldn’t have sex with him. So maybe it’s not a life-threatening problem, but it sucks, and I’m trying to have fun tonight if that’s all right with you.”

Summer spun around and almost bumped into Troy. His jaw was clenched and he looked ready for a fight, fists clenched at his sides. She lowered her eyebrows. “Why do you look so mad?”

“What did you just tell Ashlyn?” he asked. “Tell me I heard that wrong.”

“It’s nothing. And it doesn’t matter anyway. Any boy would be the same way.”

“That’s not true,” Troy said. “That guy’s just a loser.”

“Actually, it’s pretty true,” Ashlyn said, and Summer whipped her head back to the girl, her mouth hanging open. “Come on. You’re supposed to be a dancer, right?” She motioned to the dance floor, where several people were moving to the beat of the music they played during intermission. “Let’s go dance.”

Summer followed Ashlyn as she moved through the crowd to the center of the room. The next song started and they moved to the beat. The bass line vibrated through Summer until her body hummed with it. The music, the dancing, the fact that Ashlyn wasn’t scowling—tension leaked out of Summer’s body, until she felt floaty and light.

That was the magic of music and dance. They were a language all their own. Speaking of dancing, Ashlyn knew how to move.

“You’re a good dancer,” Summer said. “The squad’s full right now, but we’re going to add a few more girls for basketball season. You should…” It hit Summer then. Ashlyn might not have that long.

Ashlyn cupped her ear. “What? I can’t hear over the music.”

Summer raised her voice. “I said you’re a good dancer.”

Ashlyn swung her head from side to side. “Unicorn Stench’s new stuff was so awesome, right? I’m totally buying a CD before we leave.”

“Me, too. You’ll have to let me know which song is the most poseur-like, so it can be my favorite.” Summer grinned to let Ashlyn know she was kidding.

Ashlyn’s smile lit up her face. “You know, I think I misjudged you. You might just be okay.”

It wasn’t exactly where she needed to be for her supposed job, but she’d take it.

* * *

Troy parked his Jeep alongside the curb of Summer’s house. “Hey, Sunshine? You’re not going to get back together with Cody, are you?”

Summer shook her head. “Definitely not. It’s over for good this time.”

“Good. Then you won’t mind when I kick his ass.”

“Don’t. Seriously, Troy. Just leave it alone. I didn’t even want you to find out why. I didn’t want anyone to know, actually. I just kind of blurted it out.”

The streetlight came through the windshield, illuminating Troy’s green eyes. He looked at her, the stripe of light shifting to his cheekbone and jaw. “I never could figure out why you were with him.”

“Oh, he wasn’t all bad,” Summer said. “Besides, it’s not like you’re an expert at picking gems, either. Kristen was mean. Like punch-you-in-the-face mean. I had no idea why you were with her. Or most any of the girls you date for that matter.”

“I broke up with Kristen a long time ago.”

“Right. And I broke up with Cody.” Summer tucked her leg under her as she twisted in her seat to face Troy. “Now, promise me you won’t do anything. It’s bad enough, and I just want it to be over. I’m done with guys, relationships—the whole stupid mess. I have enough other stuff going on anyway.”

Troy continued to stare out at the street, his posture still rigid.

“Please leave it alone,” she said. “For me.”

“Fine.”

“This night was exactly what I needed. I got to hear awesome music, got a new CD”—she held up the signed case—“and I made progress with Ashlyn.” She placed her free hand on top of Troy’s bicep. “Thanks for letting me come, and picking me up, and being my friend. All that good stuff.”

Troy’s expression softened as he looked at her. “You call me anytime you need me. Tonight reminded me how much fun we used to have together.”

“I was thinking that, too. And now it’ll be even better because there won’t be other people getting in the way, getting mad anytime we try to do stuff together.” Summer glanced at the house and saw Dad’s outline in his bedroom window. “I better go.”

She lunged across the console and gave Troy a quick hug. “Later.” She climbed out of the vehicle and walked up the sidewalk. As she approached the house, she replayed the night, from dancing with Ashlyn, Unicorn Stench ending their killer show with Obligatory, and being able to spend time outside of school with Troy again. For the first time in a week, she didn’t feel completely crappy.

But then she remembered that, according to the Angel of Death, the girl Summer was starting to really like was going to die.

Chapter Eight

The man holds his phone up to his ear and opens the back door of the cab with the other hand. If he gets in, he’s going to be crushed inside, his last breaths spent on that call. One foot in the car.

Somebody has to stop him.

The other foot in.

Somebody has to tell him.

He sits inside. The door begins to swing shut.

Summer shot up in bed. “Don’t get in the cab! You’re going to die!” She gulped for air, trying to get some of it into her straining lungs. It took a moment for her to realize that she was in her bedroom, that she wasn’t fourteen anymore. It was only a dream.

Of course, her dream had really happened. And now she knew the truth. The man had died that night.

Summer lay back down and put her pillow over her head, but she couldn’t block out the image of that man crushed in a car. That had been the first time it’d happened. If it’d been the last, she could’ve gone through life totally blissful, still thinking the image was what she got for watching too many violent action movies with Dad.

Stupid truth.

What seemed like only a few minutes later, the ringing started. Then stopped. Then immediately started again. Summer opened her eyes and looked at her clock. It can’t seriously be one already. Can it?

At last the ringing finally stopped, leaving the house in blessed silence. Summer got up and decided to head down to the kitchen for breakfast. Or lunch. Either way, she was starving.

She poured herself a bowl of Lucky Charms and sat cross-legged in front of the TV. When the phone rang again, Summer decided she should answer it. Whoever it was, wasn’t giving up. She set her bowl of cereal on the coffee table, walked into the kitchen, and picked up the cordless. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Kendall sounded mad.

Summer thought it was pretty obvious that she was home. Didn’t answering her home phone clue Kendall in? “I’m hanging out, doing a whole lot of nothing.”

“You were supposed to meet me at the mall this morning, and then we were supposed to have lunch with the girls. You missed it.”

“I completely forgot.” Lunch today was supposed to help smooth over all the lunches Summer had skipped out on during the week.

“What’s up with you lately?”

Summer covered a yawn with her hand. “I stayed out late last night, so I slept in.” Not to mention the fitful, nightmare-filled sleep.

“Well I hate to tell you this, but Lexi said that Brooke said that she saw Jenna and Cody last night, and that they were all over each other. Don’t worry, though, I’ve been brainstorming, and I’ve got the perfect solution. According to Lexi, Grossmont’s quarterback is single now, and if you started dating our rival school’s QB, that would totally show Cody.”

“I don’t really want to show Cody anything. I just want to forget about him. I’m over guys.”

Kendall sighed. “You know you’re no fun when you’re all mopey. I don’t have the energy to keep you happy if you don’t even try.”

“I appreciate all the help,” Summer said. “But I’m not ready for another boyfriend.”

“Ugh, this morning these guys kept following me all around the mall. They were the totally-loser type, too. I could’ve used your help, by the way. Lexi’s no good at picking out accessories. She wears those awful chunky hoops with everything she owns.”

Kendall only wanted someone there to echo her opinion. For some reason the girl wanted input before buying anything, yet if you said you didn’t like what she’d picked, she’d be mad for hours. Sounded like Lexi had the nerve to disagree today, poor girl.

“So, if you come over this afternoon I’ll show you what I bought,” Kendall continued. “You can help me figure out how to mix and match with my wardrobe.”

“I can’t this afternoon. I’m catching a movie with Ashlyn.” Silence followed, and Summer felt obligated to fill in the gap. “We started talking last night, and she’s really cool, so we made plans. I’m, uh, sure she wouldn’t care if you wanted to come with us.”

“No. You go ahead and go to a movie with your new friend. Don’t worry about me.” With that, Kendall disconnected.

Summer knew she should call Kendall back and figure out a way to make it better, but the thought exhausted her. Making Kendall happy would have to wait. Right now, she needed to focus on Ashlyn.

* * *

The first few minutes of the car ride were silent after Summer picked up Ashlyn, but before long they were laughing and talking again, like they had been last night at the end of the Unicorn Stench show.

Ashlyn tugged on her seatbelt, pulling it away to twist in her seat. “So, the Cody thing. I know you guys went out for a long time and that you’re hurting over it still, but you know having sex with him wouldn’t have fixed everything, right? If he cared about you, he would care about your feelings, too, not just his.”

The part of her that’d been wondering if it would’ve made a difference broke. She wanted to cry and smile and hug Ashlyn, all at the same time. “Thanks. I needed to hear that. He and I always had our ups and downs, but there at the end, it started being a lot more downs. I dealt with them because…well, don’t mock me, but I didn’t want to lose him, even when he was being a jerk. I didn’t want to be alone. How sad is that?”

Ashlyn emphatically shook her head. “Not sad. I mean, it is sad as girls we feel like that—like we have to have someone or we must be failures. But I think everyone feels like that at one time or the other.”

“I got so sucked in, and without him…” Summer shrugged. “I guess I kind of lost myself. It’s like I finally snapped out of this daze I was in, and I can’t believe I let it get that far. It’s not me. It didn’t used to be, anyway. And even knowing all that, my heart still hurts when I see him with Jenna. Or when I can’t pick up the phone and call him like I used to.”

“Trust me, I know what you mean. I had this boyfriend, and even though he ended up being a huge ass, I was still crushed when we broke up.” Ashlyn shot Summer a consoling smile. “Eventually, it does get better. And I’ll help you out by constantly telling you how he doesn’t deserve you, and he’ll realize someday what an awesome girl he lost.”

“That’s right! I am awesome!” Summer half-exhaled, half-laughed. “Seriously, though, I’m not letting another guy do that to me. Ever. Guys are evil hormone-driven idiots, and I’m done.”

Skepticism clear on her features, Ashlyn said, “Uh-huh.”

“No, I am.”

The Burger King caught Summer’s eye. “Ooh. Fries and a Dr. Pepper sound amazing right now.” She switched lanes and turned into the drive-thru. “My dad makes fun of me because I skip the burger and instead get the largest thing of fries they have.”

Summer unrolled her window as they approached the speaker, then glanced at Ashlyn. “What do you want?”

“I’m good,” Ashlyn said.

“Oh, come on.” Summer waved a twenty in the air. “My treat.”

“I guess I’ll have a Diet Coke. A small one.”

Summer repeated the order into the speaker and turned to Ashlyn. “You’re sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

“I’m sure.”

Summer turned up the stereo as one of the new Unicorn Stench songs played through the speakers. She’d already listened to it several times today, but she couldn’t get enough of it.

“This is my favorite part,” Ashlyn said, singing along.

Summer joined in and bobbed her head to the beat as the music picked up. When she stopped at the window to pay for her food, the guy behind the register looked amused by her and Ashlyn’s song and dance. He was kind of cute, so Summer gave him a big smile as she handed over the money.

The guy grinned and handed her back her change. “You girls have a great day. And come again soon. I’d like to see another dance.”

“We’ll be sure to do that,” Summer said.

“I work until eleven. Swing by anytime.”

Summer smiled at him again before pulling away from the window.

“Weren’t you, only moments ago, saying that you were done with guys?” Ashlyn asked.

“I am. I’m keeping things to a strictly flirtatious level. It’s boyfriends that are the problem. They aren’t worth the pain they’ll inevitably cause you.”

“Yeah! Who needs a stupid boyfriend?”

“Solidarity, sister,” Summer said with a laugh. At the next window, she handed Ashlyn her soda, placed her own in the cup holder, and rigged the take-out bag so she could easily dig into her fries while driving.

As Summer pulled into traffic, Ashlyn squealed. “Aaah! Omigosh, omigosh, it’s pouring everywhere!” Diet Coke leaked out of the bottom of her cup onto her jeans. She put her hand under the cup and held it away from her. The brown liquid poured through her fingers, dripping onto the floor mat. “It’s getting worse!”

Fries sticking out of her mouth, Summer dug into the brown bag and tossed Ashlyn the single napkin in the bag. She slowed down, glancing back and forth from the traffic ahead of them to Ashlyn. The napkin was already soaked through and the liquid continued to pour from the bottom.

With her elbow, Ashlyn hit the button to unroll the window. She held her leaky cup out of it. “I think I jabbed my straw through the bottom. Geez, what a wussy cup.” Ashlyn glanced down and wiped at her pants. “Shit. I’m so sorry about your car. I think the floor mat and my jeans got most of it”

“No worries. Seriously, it’s not a big deal at all.” Summer grabbed her fries out of the bag, secured them between her thighs, and handed the bag over to Ashlyn. “Put this over it for now. Maybe it’ll help.”

Ashlyn dropped the cup in the bag, but it seeped through within a few seconds. “My pants and shirt are completely soaked.”

Summer took in Ashlyn’s wide-eyed expression, her wet clothes, and the way she was holding the cup out the window. And burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, I know you’re soaking and uncomfortable, but it’s…” Another wave of laughter hit her, and she couldn’t finish.

Ashlyn started giggling, too. “I think you better take me back home to change my clothes, because guy boycott or not, I can’t show my face in public like this.”

Summer checked her mirrors, made a frowned-upon U-turn, and headed back the way they’d come. Every few seconds she’d glance over at Ashlyn, and they’d both erupt in laughter. By the time they made it back to Ashlyn’s, Summer had chugged her soda and given the empty cup to Ashlyn, wondering why she hadn’t thought of it sooner.

Ashlyn flung open the door and stepped onto the curb. She turned around to close the door and her jaw dropped. “Um…”

Summer walked around to see what she was staring at. A sticky, brown stream ran across the right side of her silver Civic, all the way back to the gas tank.

“I’m so sorry,” Ashlyn said, wiping at the mess with the already soaked napkin. “I’ll clean it up. The inside, too.”

“I kind of like it. Ghetto racing stripes without the fuss of paying someone.” Ashlyn still looked worried, and Summer wanted to assure her she didn’t care. “Don’t worry about it. I laughed harder than I have in months, so it was totally worth it.”

“Come on in.” Ashlyn lifted her damp shirt away from her body. “I’ll change, and then we’ll see when the next movie is.”

Summer followed Ashlyn inside. They walked through the living room and into the kitchen. A woman with impeccable hair and makeup sat on one of the barstools, reading a magazine. She looked like an older, thinner version of Ashlyn.

The woman frowned when she saw them. “Ashlyn, you got fast food?”

“Just a soda, Mother.”

“Soda is all empty calories.”

“Well, it was diet, and it actually spilled all over before I got any of it down, so don’t worry; it was no calories.”

The woman’s gaze moved from Ashlyn to Summer. “Hi, I’m Pamela.”

“I’m Summer.”

“Summer, you don’t eat fast food do you? It’s horrible on your body, and I can tell that you like to keep in shape.”

“Mother’s a personal trainer,” Ashlyn said, like that explained everything. It kind of did, she supposed.

“Well, I just downed a large order of fries and a soda. My dad and I aren’t what you’d call”—Summer made air quotes—“culinary, so we eat out quite a bit. I don’t think I could survive without fast food.”

Pamela looked Summer up and down. “Hmm. I guess some people can get away with it. It’ll catch up when you’re older, though. I hope you’re at least exercising.”

“Summer’s on the dance team.” Ashlyn tossed her cup in the trash and turned to her mom. “Now, if you’re done with all your important questions, I’ve got to go change my clothes. They’re feeling more disgusting by the second.”

Summer followed Ashlyn down a long blue hall.

“Most parents would worry if you were a safe driver,” Ashlyn muttered. “Or simply be glad their daughter has a friend. But my mother has to talk eating and exercising habits. She’s trained a few of the lesser known celebrities, so she thinks she’s really fancy.”

Ashlyn ducked into a door on the left, headed for the dresser, and pulled open one of the drawers. “I bet your mother isn’t like that.”

“My mom…” Summer always expected it to be easier to say. No matter how many times she said it, though, it hit her as hard. “My mom died a little over a year ago. But no, she wasn’t like that.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. I’m dealing.” Not always the best, but what else do you say when someone says they’re sorry for something they couldn’t do anything about? Summer might’ve been able to, but it was too late now.

One of Summer’s darkest periods was a couple months ago, around the anniversary of Mom’s death. It was when she’d been mean to Cody and fought constantly with Dad. Mostly because she hated herself so much she couldn’t even deal with life and wanted everyone to just leave her alone.

Not wanting to think about that, Summer turned her focus to Ashlyn’s room. The purple mini lights strung along the top of the walls gave off a soft glow; curtains made from vinyl records hung over the window; and the shelves and dressers were covered in knickknacks, including bright-colored candles and vases.

Ashlyn draped the clothes she’d picked out over her arm. “So, do you have brothers and sisters?”

“Nope. Just me and my dad. We get along pretty well most of the time. I’m kind of annoyed with his new girlfriend, though. She tries so hard, and even though she is nice, I want to yell at her to get away from me. I’ll never be close to her, I’ll never consider her my mom, and I don’t know why she doesn’t just leave me alone.” Summer let out a long breath. It felt good to get that out, though guilt immediately soured her insides.

“Funny. That’s how I feel about my mother.” Ashlyn moved into the adjoining bathroom. She stepped out of view, but kept the door open.

Summer shook her problems out of her head. She needed to help Ashlyn and her mom, not make it worse. “Your mom loves you, though. She probably just has a funny way of showing it.”

“I’m a disappointment. The woman who whips people into shape can’t even get her own daughter to be skinny.” Ashlyn sighed. “It’s not like I haven’t tried. It’s hard for me to go to the gym, but I surf, skate, walk—I even eat healthy for the most part. And I still can’t lose weight.” She came out of the bathroom, wearing a blue top and dark jeans. “You wolf down fries and you’re still crazy skinny. Life’s so unfair.”

Summer wasn’t sure to say to that. “I got my dad’s metabolism. He eats horrible but never gains a pound. I guess I’m lucky.”

“No guessing about it. I would kill for your thighs. But I’ve got these” —Ashlyn squeezed her legs—“and that’s just the way it is.”

“You’re really pretty, you know. And your hair is so shiny and straight. Mine doubles in size when I’m near the beach, blond frizz sticking out all over the place.”

Ashlyn glanced in the mirror and ran a hand down her hair. “Mother doesn’t seem to care about hair, though. She cares about pants size, that kind of thing.”

“What about your dad?” Summer thought maybe he could somehow help her.

“Oh, my sperm donor?”

“He’s not around much, then?”

“No. He literally was a sperm donor.”

Summer laughed. “Sorry, it’s not funny.”

“No, it is. And Mother’s disappointed I somehow got the fat gene. When she chose a donor, his profile specifically said he was in shape. So either he lied, or I’m dysfunctional.” Ashlyn pulled out her phone and glanced at the display. “You want to see when the next show is, or you wanna hang out here? I do have an awesome music collection, if I do say so myself.”

Hanging out here would definitely be the way to get to know Ashlyn better. “Let’s kick it here then.”

With any luck, Summer might also be able to get a better read on Ashlyn’s mom. After seeing how they interacted, she started to think this job was going to be more difficult than she expected. Open communication already existed—a little too open.

She and Ashlyn listened to music, laughed and talked, and had way more fun than they would’ve in a movie theater where they would’ve had to be quiet.

At the end of the night when Summer drove home, one thought kept running through her head: How in the world am I going to repair a relationship when my first instinct is to yell at Pamela for being so mean to her awesome daughter?

Chapter Nine

The next day, Summer found herself back in Ashlyn’s room, sitting on the bed and listening to a chill mix of The Weeks, Jimmy Eat World, and Silversun Pickups. Ashlyn stacked magazines in the corner of her bedroom.

“Wow, that’s a lot of fitness magazines,” Summer said, eyeing the giant pile.

“My mother reads through them, then brings them up to my room so I can read all the tips.” Ashlyn picked up one of the glossy magazines. Like all the others, a bikini-clad girl graced the cover. “You know what they all say?”

“What?”

“All the celebrities say they don’t believe in denying themselves anything. Then they go into detail about how they eat salad and non-refined foods, but they still splurge once in a while. Their splurges are like three bites of ice cream. Or one cookie. Someone should tell them that’s called denying themselves. Instead, they’re, like, in denial of their denial. Who would choose to eat three bites of ice cream once a week?”

Summer rolled onto her stomach, feet dangling off the edge of the bed. “Definitely not me. I’m a sugar junkie. I believe that eating salad only makes you hungrier. Same with rice—basically anything that’s supposed to be healthy.”

“I’ve tried all the diets, and I was always hungry. Then I never lost weight either, so I was hungry and fat.”

“You’re not fat.” Summer gave Ashlyn a stern look. “And don’t talk about my friend like that. Now, what’s next on your to-do list?”

Ashlyn smiled. “I’m glad you came over again. I can’t believe you want to help me.”

“Chores are always more fun with help.” When Summer had called and asked Ashlyn if she wanted to hang out again, Ashlyn said she had to do her chores. So Summer offered to come keep her company.

Ashlyn grabbed the list her mom had left off the dresser. “Room’s clean, so now we need to walk the dog.”

“Whenever I think of walking dogs, I think of when my dad and I first moved here and we wanted to go to the beach. We followed the freeway to the end, not really knowing where we were going. We were walking along the beach, and everywhere we turned people had dogs. I was like, ‘What is this? Dog Beach?’ Then we saw the sign. It really was Dog Beach.”

Ashlyn laughed. “Well, we could go down to Dog Beach to walk Buddy if you want. I’m always down for a trip to the shore.”

Summer pushed off the bed. “Cool. Wait. Your dog isn’t a big, mean dog is he?”

“Nope. He’s a big, friendly lab.”

“Let’s hit the beach then.”

* * *

“Get off my butt, dude,” Ashlyn said, glancing in her rearview mirror. Her eyes moved to the car in front of her. “And what’s your deal? The speed limit is twenty-five, not five.”

Summer smiled. “You talk to the other drivers?”

Ashlyn switched lanes, passing the brown clunker they’d been following. “Yeah, I know it’s silly. My mother always looks at me funny when I do it.”

“I do it, too. So what if they can’t hear you? It makes you feel better to tell them how it is.”

“Exactly.” Ashlyn grinned. “It’s so nice to be around someone who gets me.”

“I totally know what you mean.” Summer meant it, too. Spending time with Ashlyn the last few days had made her happier than she’d been in a long time.

After finding a parking spot and leashing Buddy, Ashlyn and Summer headed to the beach. Other dog owners were walking their pets, enjoying the perfect Sunday afternoon. Buddy pulled Ashlyn along, and Summer tried to keep up.

The water came in, covering their feet. The ocean was cold, no matter what time of year, but before long it’d turn numb-your-skin icy.

“Do you surf?” Ashlyn asked as the foamy water covered her ankles.

“No, but I’ve always wanted to learn. I kept putting it off all summer, never finding the right time to try it out. I guess I’ll have to learn next year. You said you do, right?”

“It’s one of my favorite things. You don’t have to wait until summer, though. Just put on a wetsuit and it doesn’t matter how cold it is. No, Buddy,” Ashlyn said, but it was too late. The dog charged for a group of seagulls, jerking her forward. She set her feet and tugged on his leash, managing to get him back under control.

Summer took in a deep breath of salty ocean air. “This is nice. And I’ve had a really fun weekend. I hope you’re not getting sick of me.”

“No way. I hang out with The Misfits at school, and they’re all nice, but I don’t do much with them away from there. In fact, I’ve been hanging out with me, myself, and I for a long time. I’m actually surprised at how easy it is to chill with you.”

Summer lowered her eyebrows. “Thanks, I think.”

Ashlyn wrapped the leash around her hand. “I guess it just proves you shouldn’t judge people before getting to know them. I assumed you’d be stuck up and superficial like the rest of the pretty people you’ve been hanging out with.”

“They’re not all bad. Sometimes they’re just…” Summer tried to think of the right word. Before she could find one, she saw Lexi coming their way, leading a Chihuahua through the sand. Both looked annoyed to be at the beach.

Lexi slid her large sunglasses up, pushing her highlighted blond hair off her face. “What are you doing here, Summer?” She looked at Ashlyn. “And random person.”

“Hi, Lexi. This is Ashlyn. Ashlyn, Lexi. We’re walking Buddy.” Summer gestured to the dog, as if that clarification was needed.

Lexi’s Chihuahua barked at the Lab, regardless of the fact that Buddy was about five times his size. If dogs could roll their eyes, that was totally what the bigger dog was doing.

“Be quiet, Gucci.” Lexi scooped up the little dog, and he stopped yipping. “So, did Troy say anything about me? I thought we had a good time, but he hasn’t called me, and I only saw him for a few minutes at school. Does he not like me?”

Summer bit her lip, hoping Lexi didn’t see the panic in her eyes. “Oh, I don’t really know. We don’t talk about that kind of stuff.”

“Can you ask him for me?”

“Sure,” Summer said, although the last thing she wanted to do was get involved.

Gucci started to squirm, and Lexi readjusted her grip on him. “Have you talked to Kendall? She’s kind of pissed about you ditching us yesterday. We waited for, like, ever, and you never showed. It was your loss, though, because there was a killer sale on shoes that was a one day only thing.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I was busy yesterday.” Summer smiled at Ashlyn. “We were hanging out. We were going to catch a movie, but…” The image of Ashlyn with soda all over her came to mind, and Summer giggled.

“But we got into a sticky situation,” Ashlyn said, and then they both burst into laughter.

Lexi’s gaze moved from Ashlyn to Summer, and she arched her perfectly shaped eyebrows. “Okay, well, I’m going to let Gucci finish his walk. Summer, I’ll see you at school.”

“Bye, Lexi. See you tomorrow.”

“So, that’s one of your friends?” Ashlyn asked when Lexi was out of earshot. Summer could practically hear the quotation marks around the word friends.

She tried to think of the best way to describe her and Lexi’s relationship. “That one’s more like a frenemy. We’re surface friends, but if given the chance, she’d love to take me down. She thinks I stole Kendall from her.”

“Sounds nice.”

“That’s Lexi. She begged me to set her up with Troy, and for some reason I thought it would make things better between me and her. I think it’s going to make things worse, because I already know he doesn’t like her.”

“I wonder why,” Ashlyn said, her voice full of sarcasm.

“Yeah, damn him for actually having some taste.” Summer threw her hand over her mouth. “Oops. I shouldn’t have said that. It was mean, and I’m trying not to be like that.”

“Last I knew, there was no crime in telling the truth,” Ashlyn said. Buddy whimpered, and Ashlyn reached down and scratched his head. “Looks like Buddy’s done, and if you have time, I’d like to play a few more albums for you.”

“You better be careful tempting me with music. I might never leave your house again.”

Ashlyn’s eyes lit up. “Fine by me.”

* * *

By the time Summer got into her car to head home from Ashlyn’s, Kendall had left a couple voicemails and several texts. Apparently Lexi had called Kendall and told her all about seeing Summer and Ashlyn on the beach. Kendall wanted to know why she’d been ignored all weekend. Scrolling through message after all-caps message, Summer wondered how she was going to balance everything without losing all her friends in the process.

Chapter Ten

“Hey Baby,” Summer heard. She told herself to be strong. She knew Cody would come crawling back, asking for forgiveness, and she decided it would be okay to forgive him. But she could not—would not—take him back.

She took a fortifying breath and spun around. Just in time to see Jenna lean against Cody and stick her tongue down his throat. His hand slid down, into the back pocket of her jeans. Apparently they didn’t care about the fact that they weren’t the only two people in the hall.

Summer’s heart squeezed into a tight knot. She’d been told they were a thing now, and she thought she was okay with it. But she wasn’t. No matter how badly she wanted them to, the six months she’d spent caring about Cody didn’t just go away. If he’d cared about her at all, though, it would’ve taken him more than a day to move on. That stung worse than watching it happen. Actually, watching it happen hurt pretty damn bad, too.

Oh, holy crap, don’t start crying. Don’t start crying. Summer hugged her books to her aching chest and headed to chemistry.

Troy glanced up as she neared his desk. “I parked next to your car today. What happened to it?”

Her stomach dropped. “Did someone hit it? My dad will never believe I didn’t do it, and I’ll never get to drive anywhere ever again.”

“I meant that it’s got something brown all down the passenger side.”

“Oh, that.” Summer sank into her desk with a sigh of relief. “Ashlyn’s soda had some issues, and I didn’t get a chance to clean it off.”

“Sounds like you two hit it off,” Troy said. “And you thought she hated you.”

“She did. I had to use my awesome personality to win her over.” The memory of the hours she and Ashlyn spent laughing and talking this weekend helped chase away some of the pain she felt over seeing Cody and Jenna in the hall.

Then she remembered the incident at the beach. “I ran into Lexi over the weekend.” Summer ran her thumbnail across the edge of the desk. “She, uh, wants to know why you’re not calling.”

“Did you tell her what I said about her?” Troy asked with a wicked grin.

“Of course not! You think I’ve got a death wish?” She shook her head, trying not to smile, since it’d only encourage him. “Can I just tell her that you’re interested in somebody else?”

“I am interested in somebody else.”

“Even better. I won’t have to lie.” Summer picked up her pen and doodled on the front of her notebook. “So, how was the rest of your weekend?”

“Nothing to brag about. As usual, it ended too quickly.”

“I’m actually looking forward to today.” Seeing her ex and his new girlfriend in the hall sucked, but at lunch, she planned on hanging out with her new friends and forgetting about all her other drama.

* * *

Kendall stepped in front of Summer, blocking her path. “Okay. I don’t know what’s up, but this is an intervention.”

“What are you talking about?”

Kendall put her arm around Summer and sat her down at the table she used to frequent. From here, she could see Cody and Jenna. Jenna sat on his lap, feeding him his food like he couldn’t do it himself. What were they, birds?

“We’re all worried about you. I know you’re going through something, and I know it’s hard since Cody moved on so fast.” Kendall looked over at him and Jenna, wrinkling her nose at the grotesque display of affection. She turned back to Summer and lowered her voice. “But it’s social suicide to be hanging out with that Reject Group all the time. They’re odd people.”

Summer glanced toward The Misfits’ table, noticing the empty space next to Marcie—her place. “I guess I’d rather kill my social life than ignore the cool people I met. I don’t understand why it has to be one or the other. I should be able to hang out with both. In fact, you should give them a chance. They’re cool.”

“Ew. The nerdy twins are so weird.”

“Yes, they’re a little…unconventional. But Aaron and Darren are two of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.” In fact, she felt bad she’d ever thought of them as nerds. Although, she was starting to think nerds were the new cool.

Kendall threw up a hand. “Look. You need to remember the people who’ve been your friends since you got here. You didn’t even call me back yesterday.”

“I was busy.”

“I know. Hanging out with your new friend at Dog Beach.”

“I don’t see why I can’t be friends with everyone.” Summer’s attention accidentally drifted to Cody again. With him right there, it was hard not to look at him. “I can’t be over here with that going on.” She jerked her chin toward the making out duo. “I’ll catch up with you at practice.”

“Then go to the other side of the table.” Kendall lowered her voice, so only Summer could here. “Trust me, you need to hang with us at lunch today. People are starting to think you’re turning your back on us, and I can’t keep sticking up for you. Don’t mess everything up now.”

Not wanting to piss anyone off, Summer decided she should spend some time with Kendall. She moved to the other side so she wouldn’t have to witness Cody and Jenna making out.

“So guess what?” Lexi asked. “I heard Allie McKay’s dad is sleeping with her little brother’s nanny.”

Summer took out her Oreos, deciding to attack them before eating her sandwich. She pressed them together, watching the delicious frosting ooze out. “Aren’t her parents divorced?”

“Yeah, but the nanny’s like twenty-five.” Lexi glanced from face-to-face, obviously hoping to see the shock.

Summer didn’t have it in her to fake it. “So what?”

“Oh, that’s right. It doesn’t bother you because your dad likes younger girls, too.”

Summer dropped her Oreo. Heat was rising up, burning through her veins. She glared at Lexi, fighting the urge to lung across the table and strangle her. “Tiffany’s not that young.”

Two creases formed between Kendall’s eyebrows. “I thought you didn’t like her.”

“If she makes my dad happy, who cares?”

“Hypocritical much?” Kendall put her hand over Summer’s. “Come on, we’re only talking. Don’t get so worked up.”

Summer slid her hand free and picked her Oreo back up, even angrier at Lexi when she discovered most of the frosting was now smudged on the table.

The conversation moved to the new shoes the girls had gotten at the mall. Kendall and Lexi described their new purchases in excruciating detail. The whole time Summer kept wondering what was going on at The Misfits’ table. When she’d first sat with them, she’d longed to get back to her old friends. Now that she was here, all she wanted to do was go talk and laugh with her new ones.

* * *

“So, why have you been ignoring me in favor of the Reject Group?” Kendall asked, climbing the stairs to her bedroom.

“I’d appreciate if you didn’t refer to them as that.” After dance practice, Kendall insisted Summer come hang out. She had tentative plans to meet up with Ashlyn, but she knew mentioning that wouldn’t go over too well, so she’d told Kendall she could only stay for a little while. She had no idea it was going to turn into a bash session. “They’re nice people and I feel like I need a change.”

“And that means dumping your best friend?”

Summer sighed. “I’m not dumping you. You’re busy with Jack. We do different things. I understand that. It doesn’t mean we’ll stop being friends.”

“But I’m still your best friend, right?”

“Of course.”

“Good. ‘Cause I need you. Lexi’s been driving me crazy.” Kendall walked into her bedroom and stepped in front of her closet. “Tell me what you think about the new dress that I bought for my party.”

“Party?”

“My birthday party on Friday, silly. I know it’s going to be weird for you to come with the recent break-up and all, but you absolutely have to be at my birthday party.”

“Right,” Summer said, then tried to inject some enthusiasm into her words. “Can’t wait.”

* * *

Summer walked into her house and tossed her keys off to the side. Female laughter floated into the room, meaning Tiffany was here. Thinking about what she’d said earlier today about her dad’s girlfriend, Summer plastered on a happy face and moved toward the kitchen.

“I’m home,” Summer said as she neared the kitchen. Always a good idea to warn people of your entrance when couples are involved. She waited a few seconds and then stepped through the doorway.

Tiffany was clacking around the kitchen in four inch stilettos. Her dark brown hair was styled in a sleek updo, and she had a frilly apron covering her wrap dress—she had a dress like that in every possible color and pattern. Dad was sitting on the stool, watching her like a lovesick puppy. Ugh.

“Hey, Dad. Tiffany.”

Tiffany beamed at her. “Hi, Summer.”

Summer worked up a genuine smile and actually waved. There. She’d been nice. “I’m going to head upstairs and—”

“Tiffany decided to make us dinner,” Dad said. “Why don’t you set the table?”

“I really need to make a call because—”

“You can do it later. Right now, I’d appreciate you helping us out.” Dad shot her a look, making it clear it was more than a polite request.

Summer trudged over to the cupboard to get the dishes. The plates they owned no longer coordinated, and half of them were chipped. She grabbed the closest in color scheme. “It smells really good.”

Tiffany cracked the oven door open and peeked inside. “Your dad said you like lasagna. I hope you like mine. It’s a family specialty.”

“Anything other than soup or take-out is pretty special to us. I’m sure it will be as good as it smells.” Balancing the silverware on top of the plates, Summer headed into the rarely-used dining room and set them down on the table. A big pile of mail sat in the middle, so she scooped it up and stuck it off to the side. Most of the time she and Dad ate in front of the TV, and she preferred it that way.

Dad brought in salad dressings and placed them in the middle of the table. He stepped closer and lowered his voice. “Tiffany put a lot of work into dinner, hoping to get some time to talk to you. She wants to get to know you better.”

“I don’t see the point,” Summer whispered. “I’ve already got more friends than I can handle, and she’s dating you not me.”

Dad crossed his arms and locked eyes with her. His hurt expression made her feel two inches tall. “Dating me involves getting to know you, too. You know that, so try to be nice.”

“I am trying.”

“Try harder,” Dad said and then headed back into the kitchen.

A few minutes later, they were all sitting around the table, eating dinner. Summer put a lot of effort into listening to Tiffany and adding to the conversation, trying her best to make Dad happy. Again, Summer couldn’t help thinking Tiffany was all wrong for him. The woman liked opera and plays. She sold extravagant works of art for a living. Her fancy personality just didn’t mesh with Summer and Dad’s fast food, low-key lifestyle.

“Doesn’t the feta cheese and dill add an interesting kick?” Tiffany asked, pure excitement stretched across her porcelain features.

Even her food’s pretentious.

“It was delicious. The whole meal was amazing.” Dad tossed his napkin onto his plate.

“Thank you, John.” Tiffany leaned over and kissed his cheek.

There it was. The way she said John. The way she kissed his cheek. The way she came into their home and rearranged things. The way she was nothing at all like Mom. Of course, Summer would’ve hated it even more if she was like Mom.

“I really should go do my homework,” Summer said, not wanting to watch any more affection between them. It was easier to be nice from afar.

Dad started stacking plates. “I’ll have to remember that when the choice comes between dishes or homework, Summer will choose homework. I’ve finally cracked the code.”

“You’re hilarious, Dad, honestly.” Summer stood and turned to Tiffany. “Thanks so much for dinner.”

Then, before she got roped into another conversation she didn’t want to be part of, she hurried away. What she really, really needed to do was call Ashlyn. Just when she’d been making progress on their friendship, she’d accidentally stood Ashlyn up.

“Hey,” Summer said when Ashlyn picked up. “What’s up?”

“I’m just watching some television. You know, since my friend never showed up to hang out.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. Practice went long, Kendall needed something, then I got home and Tiffany had cooked dinner. Apparently the world was going to implode if we didn’t all sit down together to eat it.”

“I figured you decided to ditch me and go back to your old friends,” Ashlyn said, and though her voice sounded the way it had when they’d first met, Summer could hear an edge of vulnerability in there, too.

“I swear it’s not like that.” Summer couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I was really bummed we couldn’t hang out.”

The silence on the other end caused Summer’s stomach to drop. Great. She’s back to hating me. Her chest tightened, and she was picturing a disappointed Angel of Death. That sick sensation was even filling her body again.

“Well, you’re going to make it up to me,” Ashlyn finally said. “Tomorrow morning. Meet me at my place at five forty-five.”

“Wait? Like in the morning?”

“That’s what I said. Bring your swimsuit and your clothes for school. You’re not going to stand me up again are you?”

“Are you going to murder me and throw me into the ocean?”

“Yes, of course,” Ashlyn said. “And I want you to be in your swimsuit so it doesn’t look suspicious.”

Summer laughed, glad to hear the humor back in her friend’s words. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”

Chapter Eleven

Ashlyn thrust a wetsuit at Summer. “Put this on.”

Summer squinted at the first rays of the day. The chilly air bit her nose, and goose bumps crawled up her arms and legs. “I can’t believe you got me up revoltingly early for this. When you said swimsuits, I was thinking hot-tubbing. Something warm and relaxing.”

Ashlyn stepped into her wetsuit. “You wanna be a Barbie girl, or a real Cali girl?

“Real.” Summer rubbed her arms, trying to warm herself up. “The kind that lies in the sand and doesn’t go into the freezing cold water at the butt crack of dawn.”“First thing in the morning is the most exhilarating time. Now, suit up.”

The rubbery wetsuit gripped Summer’s skin, as if it was rejecting the thought of going into the ocean, too. As soon as she zipped it up, Ashlyn handed her a tall surfboard, then grabbed a shorter board. “This is going to be fun. You’ll see.”

Summer groaned before following Ashlyn to the sand. “I’m not that much taller than you. Why do I get the giant board?”

“It’s a long board, and it’s easier to learn on. First we figure out your stance and find the sweet spot. Then we’ll work on the rest.”

Ashlyn went over the how-tos of surfing and demonstrated how to stand. They practiced a couple times on dry land, until Summer thought she was ready to try in the water.

Icy needles stabbed through Summer as she entered the frothy water, every part of her body coming alert. Caffeine had nothing on this kind of jolt. Salt water splashed in her face as she paddled out after Ashlyn. Already she’d changed her mind about learning to surf. That Too late to turn back now saying popped into her head.

When they got out into the deeper water, Ashlyn sat up on her board, dangling her feet off the sides. Summer followed suit. They floated, staring at the cloudless gray sky while waiting to catch a wave—or what Ashlyn called baby waves.

Ashlyn’s body tensed. “Here comes a wave. Now, remember all the things I said and try to catch it.”

The wave came toward them, and Summer tried to stand up. She put too much weight on the back and ended up toppling off her board. Fighting for her bearings, she flailed in the water until finding her board again. She climbed back on, choking on saltwater.

Okay, so it was harder than it looked, but Summer was determined to catch the next one. She looked behind her, watched the wave approach, and tried to remember all of Ashlyn’s tips.

Time after time, wave after wave, Summer got the same tumbling result. She got to her knees a few times, but every time she tried to stand, she crashed. Just when she was about to give up, she stood and rode for a few short seconds before falling into the water.

That small win was enough for her to get back on her board and go again and again, until every muscle in her body ached and it was time to get back to shore.

As Summer and Ashlyn walked onto the beach, their wet footprints trailing behind them, Ashlyn’s breath came out in jagged bursts. She dropped her board to the sand and clutched her chest.

Summer rushed over to her. “Are you okay?” Dread seized her, her insides turning as cold as her skin. She’d gotten so caught up in having fun with Ashlyn, she forgot she’d started hanging out with the girl due to her freaky job. A job involving making peace between Ashlyn and her mom—something Summer hadn’t come even close to doing.

“I’m fine,” Ashlyn wheezed. “I get a little short-winded when I surf. Or do most anything, it seems.” She took a step, then bent over, hands on her knees, and took a few more deep breaths. “Just give me a minute.”

For the first time, Ashlyn looked weak. Summer hadn’t known her long, but already she considered her a friend. One she couldn’t bear to lose.

Terrified of what she’d see, Summer reached out a shaky hand and placed it on Ashlyn’s shoulder. If this was the end, she needed to say or do something, and fast.

Nothing. She and Ashlyn were still standing on the beach, no flash-forward movie images forcing their way into Summer’s mind. She breathed a sigh of relief and glanced around the empty beach. “Maybe I should go get a lifeguard.”

“No, I’m fine.” Ashlyn took in another breath and slowly let it out. “We better get going, or we’ll be late for school. Mother will write me a note because it’s exercise, but that doesn’t help you.” She picked up her board and nudged Summer. “Admit it. You loved being out in that water chasing waves.”

Summer grinned. Because Ashlyn looked much better now, and somehow, even with being coerced into the biting cold water and the frustration of trying to catch a wave, she did love it.

* * *

With approximately ten minutes to change and get ready for school, Ashlyn showed Summer a bathroom she could use, then headed to her bedroom to get ready. Summer took the quickest shower known to man and threw on her clothes. In Chicago, she never wore heels and a skirt to school—the weather and icy sidewalks didn’t permit it. She stared at the lacy skater skirt and wedges combo now, wishing she’d brought jeans and flip flops instead. She didn’t have anything else, though, so it’d have to do.

A quick swipe of mascara. Lip gloss. Summer dug deeper into her bag, her hand not finding what it was looking for. “Oh, holy crap. I forgot my hair serum.” Right now her curls were damp. As they air dried, they’d get bigger and frizzier. But like her outfit, it was too late to do anything about it now.

When Ashlyn wasn’t in her room, Summer continued down the hall to the kitchen.

“If you lost some weight, you could wear the new clothes I bought you,” Pamela said. “All you have to do is watch what you eat and up your cardio.”

“I’m doing the best I can, Mother.” Ashlyn’s voice cracked, the pain in it clear. “I just got back from surfing, and I’ve been eating tons of fruits and veggies.”

“Ashlyn?” Summer said, nice and loud, and then took the remaining steps into the kitchen. “There you are.”

Pamela brought her hands together as she looked from Summer to Ashlyn. “You two should start jogging together—it’s always more fun with someone else. Or you could even come into the gym.” She raised her eyebrows at Summer. “I could get you in on a free pass.”

Summer had no idea what to say. The only person who wasn’t uncomfortable was Pamela, who seemed clueless that every word she said insulted her daughter in some way. She racked her brain, trying to find a good solution and coming up empty. Yelling at Pamela to leave Ashlyn alone hardly seemed like the thing to do to make peace between them. “Ashlyn taught me to surf this morning. It was amazing exercise.”

“That’s a good start.” Pamela took a sip from her water bottle—she looked like she was on her way to the gym now. “Did you know that if you feel full at the end of a meal, you already ate too much?”

“Thanks for the tips, Mother. We’ve got to get to school so we’re not late.” Ashlyn walked past her mom, and Summer followed.

Ashlyn shook her head. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure she just cares about you.”

“She just cares about how much I weigh. I’m so sick of her bringing it up every few seconds. Like I can’t see myself in the mirror.” They stepped outside, and Ashlyn slammed the door behind them.

Summer followed her to the car, feeling useless, desperately wishing she could think of something to say that wouldn’t make Ashlyn feel worse about herself.

* * *

Summer had come in to first period too late to talk to Troy before it started, so she made sure to catch him after class as they headed out of the room. “Hey, Mister Bond. Guess what I did this morning.”

“Came to school,” Troy said, a big smile on his face that made it clear he thought he was hilarious.

“Yes.” Summer drenched her words in sarcasm. “That’s what I wanted to tell you about. Exciting, huh?”

His grin widened. “You’re feisty this morning. So, what did you do?”

“Ashlyn forced me into the ocean at the butt crack of dawn and taught me how to surf.”

“Without me? I’m jealous.” Troy had offered to teach her to surf before, but something—or someone, technically—always got in the way. “You better call me next time. I’d like to see you on a surfboard.”

“Hi, Troy,” a female voice purred, lots of breathiness behind it. Lexi. She shot him a big grin, complete with eye batting. Kendall was with her, but her attention was on her phone.

“Lexi. Hey.” He tucked his books under his arm. “I better get to my next class.” He took a few steps, then spun around, and gave Summer the nod. “Later, Sunshine.”

“Wait, Troy.” Lexi hurried after him. “I want to ask you a quick question.” Yesterday at practice, Summer had told Lexi that Troy liked someone else, but apparently she wasn’t going to let that minor detail get in her way.

“Did you run out of product?” Kendall poked at Summer’s curls. “Your hair is huge.”

“I forgot it.” Summer patted the top of her head, assessing the frizzage. “It’s not that bad, is it?”

“As your friend, I feel I’m obligated to tell you the truth, even if it hurts. So yeah, it’s bad.”

Summer gave her a tight smile. “Well, thanks.”

“You should pull it back.”

Summer shrugged. “Whatever.” Her leftover high from surfing this morning made her crazy hair not seem like that big of a deal. Besides, she’d decided to run with the crazy today.

Kendall shook her head. “Just make sure you look presentable on Friday.”

“Yeah, about your party. You’ll be busy, and you’ll have Jack—”

“You are not cancelling on me.”

“Of course not.” Summer bit her lip. “I was just thinking of bring reinforcements. I need someone to get me through the night.”

Kendall leaned in conspiratorially. “Who’s the new guy?”

“No, not a guy. I’m going to bring Ashlyn. For moral support,” she added when Kendall continued to stare.

“That girl you keep hanging around?” Kendall asked, as if she didn’t know.

Summer nodded, deciding the fewer words Kendall could turn on her, the better.

“Whatever,” she huffed. “Just don’t bring the whole Reject Gang. That would be a huge party killer.”

Good enough for Summer, even if she didn’t agree. She broke away from Kendall before she changed her mind and headed to the cafeteria. She caught Ashlyn just before she reached the table. “Okay, so you’re going to come with me to Kendall’s birthday party on Friday.”

Ashlyn’s eyebrows shot up so high they got lost in her bangs. “No way. I’m not goin’ to that.”

“But…?” Summer thought she’d be happy. Kendall went all out, and most people tried to get invites. “It’ll be fun.”

Ashlyn pressed her lips together, almost like she was afraid of how she might respond.

“Come on, you dragged me out into the freezing water first thing in the morning,” Summer said. “I doubted you at first, but now I’m happy that I let you talk me into it.”

“I don’t want to be around those people.” Ashlyn’s eyes met Summer’s. “And I’m afraid of who you’ll be around them.”

Frustration bubbled up, along with a twinge of offense. “I’ll be me. But I’ll have you to make the night more interesting.”

Ashlyn started toward the table, then spun around so fast Summer nearly plowed into her. “I heard you and your friends making fun of some people a couple months back, okay? You didn’t really say anything, but you laughed along with the rest of them. That’s why I didn’t like you at first. That’s why I felt so protective of our group. I like hanging out with you, but you and them…? I don’t think I’ll like it.”

All the times she’d made fun of others came back to her, unwelcome memories she’d rather erase. Jabs against fashion. Dancing. Social skills—she’d pretty much covered all the topics. She’d thought of it as light-hearted fun. But she couldn’t deny the fact that most of the people she’d mocked were kind-hearted guys and girls who would be crushed by her comments. Memories stacked one by one on her shoulders, weighing her down.

“You’re right. There’ve been times when I was downright bitchy, no good excuse for it. I can’t change the past. But I swear, I’m trying to be better. I have to go to this party, and Cody will be there. I don’t want to face him alone.”

“Then take Troy.”

“That’s not a good idea with Cody there. They don’t like each other, and the last thing I need is a fight to break out.” The bag in Summer’s hand crinkled as she clasped her hands in prayer position. “Please, Ash. I really want you to go with me. I need you to remind me of that stuff we talked about in the car before your soda peed all over you.”

Not even a smile. Tough crowd. Without a word, Ashlyn looped around the table and sat in her normal place. Unsure what else to do, Summer sat in hers. When Ashlyn looked across the table, Summer put on her best puppy dog face, sticking her bottom lip out as far as she could.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. “Fine, I’ll go. Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t. I promise.” Summer got out her lunch: A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a mini bag of Doritos, and a sandwich bag filled with Oreos.

Ashlyn shook her head. “I seriously can’t believe all you eat is junk food. It’s so unfair.”

“It’s not junk food. There’s…fruit in the jam. Yeah, that makes it healthy.”

Troy plopped down next to Summer, straddling the bench and facing her instead of the table. “Meant to tell you earlier, but you look very rocker today.”

Summer tucked a frizzy curl behind her ear. “This is what happens when I don’t do my hair.”

One corner of Troy’s mouth twisted up. “I like it.” He glanced at Ashlyn. “I hear you got Sunshine out in the water this morning. Is she any good?”

“Not yet,” Ashlyn said. “But she will be once I’m through with her.”

Troy stole one of Summer’s Oreos and stood. “See you guys around.” With that, he was off. His visits were always so sporadic. A quick hi. A cookie snatching. A compliment about her wild hair—warmth filled her chest as she thought about that last one. She definitely preferred rocker to a huge mess.

But why’s he in such a hurry to be somewhere else, lately?

She twisted and watched him weave his way through the cafeteria. People stopped to talk or wave, no matter what group they were in. Skaters, gamers, stoners—there was some overlap there—the drama club, the people who were somewhere in between jocks and geeks, girls, guys. Basically Troy knew everyone, and everyone knew him.

Darren scooted next to Ashlyn, drawing Summer’s attention. It took almost an entire week, but Summer finally saw the small differences between him and Aaron. “Hey, I’ve got a joke for you guys.”

Summer propped her elbows on the table. “It’s been a while since I heard a good joke.”

Darren readjusted his round glasses. “How many computer support staffers does it take to change a light bulb?” He raised his eyebrows and looked at them, apparently waiting for an answer.

“No clue,” Ashlyn said.

He didn’t say anything, simply sat there like someone had hit his pause button.

Ashlyn nudged him. “Tell us.”

“Four. One to ask what the registration number of the bulb is, one to ask if you’ve tried to reboot, another to ask if you’ve tried reinstalling, and the last to say it must be your hardware, because our light bulb here is working fine.” He broke into laughter and smacked the table with his open palm.

Summer laughed more at his reaction to the joke than the actual punch line.

“So what did you think?” he asked.

“You know how I said it’s been a while since I’ve heard a good joke?” Summer was going to say, It still has, but he looked so proud and sincere, and she didn’t know if he’d get her sarcasm. “I guess I’ll have to restart my countdown.”

Darren made a fist and yanked it down. “Score!”

Aaron scooted down. “Okay, if you think that one is good, wait until you hear mine…”

Summer listened to another computer joke that she didn’t even come close to getting, but she laughed anyway. Although she didn’t have much in common with anyone in this group besides Ashlyn, she felt more relaxed here. No one mentioned her hair needed serum or whose parents were getting divorced. They didn’t imply Dad was dating someone too young for him. Regardless of the fact most of them got teased on a regular basis, they seemed so confident in who they were. She admired that about them.

It wasn’t like she could divulge her biggest secret—that she sometimes saw deaths before they happened. Or that she and the Angel of Death were on a first name basis. Still, here existed a security she didn’t feel with her other friends. An acceptance that didn’t rely on whom you were dating, what you wore, or if you were any good at sports.

Aaron looked across the table and flashed his crooked grin at her. “We’re glad you come hang out with us sometimes.”

“I have a good time over here,” Summer said. “Where else can you get lunch and computer jokes?”

Aaron’s eyebrows lowered. “Do you want the statistics, or is that one of those rhetorical questions I keep getting in trouble for answering?”

“It was rhetorical, but it’s good to know I can come to you if I’m looking for stats.”

That prompted him to pull out his calculator and show her a program he had in it to help calculate statistics. When Summer’s gaze drifted up, she saw some of the girls from the dance team pointing at them. Summer waved, but the girls walked away without waving back, or even acknowledging her presence.

Maybe they didn’t see me. Come to think of it, though, she was getting a lot of icy looks from the squad. She supposed she should stick around after practice and try to make nice before she lost half her friends.

This whole balance thing was trickier than she’d expected. Add one more item to her Things-I’m-failing-at list.

* * *

Summer dragged herself upstairs to her bedroom, every step taking way more effort than it should. During practice, several of the girls had made catty comments to her, and because of her early morning surf session, she hadn’t had the desire or energy to hang out afterwards to try to repair things. If they wanted to be rude, that was their problem.

Gabriella sat on the foot of the bed, drumming her fingers on her thighs. If Summer had enough energy to run in the other direction, she would’ve. The Angel of Death straightened, her eyes brightening, so it was too late anyway. “Hello, Summer Dear! How are things coming along with Ashlyn and her mom?”

Geez, is the woman never not cheery? Summer swung her door closed and tossed her bag on the floor. “I’m starting to think that Ashlyn’s mom deserves to feel guilty. Ashlyn will be happy, then Pamela puts her down, and her self-esteem plummets.”

“Well, that’s exactly why you’re supposed to be helping them repair their relationship, and you need to do it soon. Before it’s too late.”

The reason Summer had gotten to know Ashlyn was because Gabriella told her to. Because Ashlyn was dying. An ache radiated over her heart, and she pressed her hand to her chest. Over the past few days she’d found out just how awesome Ashlyn was. She hadn’t wanted her to die before, but now… The ache sharpened, digging in its claws. “Can’t I do something to keep her from dying?”

Gabriella let out a long-suffering sigh. “This is your problem. You don’t realize the importance of your job.”

Summer ran a hand through her hair and flopped down on the bed next to Gabriella. “But I still have some time, right?”

“She’s got a little while yet, but that doesn’t mean you can waste it doing nothing.”

Her first instinct was to argue that she wasn’t doing nothing. She bit it back, trying to focus on what would help Ashlyn. “I just think she’ll trust me the more I get to know her. Then I’ll be able to do a better job figuring out how to help her.”

“I’m sure you’re right, but you’ve got to put a rush on it. I’m not sure what else to tell you. You should be a natural at this. I’m not used to working with someone who doesn’t—” Her head jerked up. “Your dad’s coming. I’ll try to check in again soon. But please, get moving on this.”

There was a knock on the door—Dad, apparently.

Summer waved her hand though the glittery outline Gabriella left, trying to disperse it. She wasn’t sure if Dad would be able to see it, but just in case, she thought it’d be easier to make sure it was gone than try to explain. When it finished fading, she raised her voice. “Come on in.”

Dad stepped inside and looked around. “It sounded like you were talking to someone.”

“I was on the phone.”

“Funny, because you left this in the key bowl.” Dad held up her cell phone. “It kept ringing, so I decided it might be important. You know, Kendall might’ve broken a nail or something.”

Summer bit her lip as Dad’s eyes bored into her. “I talk to myself sometimes. I didn’t want to say that because it makes me feel like a crazy person.”

Dad nodded his head and gave her a weak smile. “I talk to her too sometimes.”

Dad knows about Gabriella? “You do?”

“Sure. I miss your mom as much as you do. If I talk aloud, it sometimes feels like she’s listening.”

A giant lump formed in Summer’s throat. Ever since Tiffany had entered the picture, she’d decided Dad didn’t miss Mom as much as he should. Now, she felt like she didn’t miss her as much as she should. “You think she knows what we’re doing? That we miss her?”

Dad crossed the room and sat next to her, right where Gabriella was only moments ago. “I’m sure she does.”

Summer wondered what Mom thought about everything. How superficial she’d become since moving here, how she’d shut everything out, losing the independent person she used to pride herself on being in the process. And what did Mom think about Summer’s new job?

Dad patted Summer’s knee, and she suddenly wanted to tell him everything. She knew he’d have good advice to help her out with her Cipher job. But she couldn’t think of a way to tell him about it without disclosing her darkest secret. Without telling him she didn’t try hard enough to keep Mom alive.

Chapter Twelve

“Is something wrong?” Troy asked her as he pulled in front of Off the Record. “You’ve hardly said a word.” After chemistry class, he’d asked Summer if she wanted to go with him after school to get the new Monkey Saddle vinyl he’d ordered. He’d promised her fries across the street afterward, too, as if she’d needed any more motivation that flipping through old records with him. What she hadn’t expected, though, was the icky sensation she’d have in her gut by the time school let out. Or the desperation she’d feel after wracking her brain all day for a way to help Ash and still ending up with a whole lot of nothing.

“I’m a little tired,” she said. Not a complete lie. All the stress and worry had made it impossible to sleep last night. The truth played over and over in her head: She needed to think of some way to help Ashlyn and Pamela repair their relationship, and failure was not an option. Gabriella claimed she should be a natural, which only made the icky sensation worse. Nothing about her problem-solving job seemed natural. In fact, she kept coming up blank, then the depression would hit.

The sun hit Troy’s silver thumb ring, sending light bouncing around the car. “We don’t have to do this now. I can get the album later.”

Good thing she was an expert at forcing down her problems and acting like everything was cool. “Nonsense. We’re already here, and I’ll feel better once I get my blood pumping. Plus, you promised there would be fries.”

He smiled, easing the concern in his features. “So, so many fries.”

For the first time all day, she found herself smiling for real. Being around Troy calmed her, and she could use a lot of help in that department. She got out of the car and met Troy on the sidewalk.

The chime over the door rang as they pushed inside the record store. Summer inhaled the air that only a mix of old and new records could bring. Aisles of records filled the place, treasures she’d love to take home. Only she usually chose CD or digital versions, whereas Troy had a record player and the collection to go with it.

His album would be waiting behind the counter, but he walked to the shelves and started to flip through them. Summer stuck next to him, watching his expressions as he took in each album. He wrinkled his nose. Nodded at the next one. Pulled out an old Aerosmith album—Pump—and ran his hand across the cover, which basically looked like one truck humping another.

“Already have this one, though,” he said, more to himself she thought, then put it back.

“One of your dad’s?”

He nodded. A large part of his collection had been his dad’s, though he avoided talking about the guy for the most part. In fact, he was moving on, obviously not wanting to say anything else about the subject.

Summer drifted in the other direction. Up front they had buttons and key chains. She was definitely ready to get rid of her clunky one. As she spun through the rack, though, her thoughts drifted back to Ashlyn. Days ago she’d been laughing and hanging out with Ashlyn, thinking how awesome it was to find someone who got her. Ashlyn didn’t care when she went off on random tangents. She seemed to like her sarcasm and weird jokes. In fact, she added to them. Laughed along with her.

I’ve never clicked with anyone like I’ve clicked with her. Her heart was folding in on itself again, the ickiness spreading throughout her insides once more.

There had to be a way around it. A way to make up for the lives she couldn’t save. She was sure if she concocted a good enough plan, she could find a way to change the future. To keep Ash alive.

“How about that one?” Troy asked.

Summer hadn’t even heard him come over. She followed his finger and saw him pointing to a keychain that said, I’m not crazy. ask my invisible friend. He reached down and picked up another. cute but psycho, kind of evens things out.

The first one seemed like a joke, but now worry was taking hold. Had other people noticed she was starting to lose it? “Why would you suggest those?”

“Well, this one because you’re cute, and this one because you’re a little crazy.” Troy nudged her. “Come on, it’s a joke.”

Right. If it was a joke it might be funny. “I think I’ll just keep the one I have. Or take it off. I don’t really need a keychain. It’s not like I can’t find my keys as long as I have the canister of mace attached to them.”

The urge to get out of the store overwhelmed her. “Let’s go. I don’t want to be in here anymore.”

“One sec. Gotta buy my stuff first.”

Summer twisted a strand around her hair as she waited, shifting her wait from one foot to another. Troy was laughing with the cashier, in no hurry whatsoever. Summer kept glancing at the door. Her pulse was picking up speed. She needed out of here. Now.

She started for the door.

Troy caught up to her as she was pushing out of it. “I should’ve known you had a time limit before the need for fries caught up to you.”

As they stepped onto the sidewalk, Summer bumped into a man who’d been walking the other direction.

The man’s head drops down. Pops back up. His eyes droop again, and his head dips further down. The car veers right, narrowly missing another car. Slams into the concrete, the metal peeling away from the barrier. His head hits the steering wheel, his right side—arm, leg—lost in a sea of metal. He takes a few gasping breaths for air, wheezing and coughing. His last breath slips past his bloody lips.

Summer’s vision cleared and she stared up at the man. “If you’re tired, you should drink a Redbull or something,” she blurted at him, half-angry, half-desperate.

His brow furrowed. “You bumped into me.”

She flung her arms up. “I’m not talking about here on the sidewalk! I’m talking about before you drive anywhere.”

Looking at her like she was she was a lunatic, he shook his head. “What’s wrong with you?”

Summer jabbed a finger into his chest. “I’m serious. This isn’t a joke. You could endanger other people. You could kill somebody.” Then her job came to mind. “And have you made peace with your family? You don’t want to leave them wondering if you care about them.”

Troy grabbed her hand and tugged her away. The man stared after her, mouth hanging open. She tried to yank out of Troy’s grasp, but his fingers tightened, and she had no choice but to force her feet to follow. After a couple of large strides, he spun around, his green eyes searching her face. “What was that all about?”

The ground spun under her, and her knees felt like they might buckle. Black spots danced across her vision, and then came the icy, black feeling that started in the pit of her stomach and rose up to settle in her chest. She gripped Troy’s arms, holding onto him so she wouldn’t fall, and tried to blink the world back into focus.

When it did, Troy was still staring at her, apparently waiting for an answer.

“He…He looked tired,” Summer said. “Did you know falling asleep at the wheel is one of the leading causes of death?” When she started seeing people dying, morbid curiosity drove her to research those kinds of things.

“The poor guy was just walking down the sidewalk, and you went off on him. He didn’t even look that tired.”

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw the man walking in the opposite direction, and she was pretty sure he was muttering something to himself. Summer turned back to Troy. He was still staring at her, concern swimming in his green eyes.

How in the world am I going to explain this? The answer was simple. She wasn’t. Because he’d never believe the real explanation.

She slowly released the death-grip she had on Troy and took a deep breath. “Well, I’m tired. Let’s go get something to eat.” She hoped food would help settle her stomach. It suddenly felt like she hadn’t eaten all day. Like she might even pass out if she didn’t get something soon.

She started toward the restaurant, wishing the food was in her hands already. But Troy’s hand wrapped around her elbow, holding her in place. “I can tell something’s up, you know. Sometimes you seem really happy, then sometimes really low.”

If she turned back to look at him, she was going to burst into tears. So she kept her eyes glued to the streetlight flashing for pedestrians to go and said, “Congratulations, you’ve just described every girl on the planet. If you can’t handle my mood swings, I guess you’ll have to go hang out with your guy friends.” She yanked her arm away. “But for now, your moody friend would like some fries.”

This time Troy didn’t stop her; he simply followed.

They ordered their food, not bothering with small talk while they waited. Finally, the food came, and even though her stomach was still rolling, she was also starving. But no matter how much Summer ate, she still felt empty. The nightmares would come tonight. They always did after a brush with someone else’s death.

Troy pushed his now-empty plate aside and leaned forward, his eyes locked on hers, his jaw set in determination. “I know that Kendall claims to be your oldest friend here, but she’s wrong. I met you first, and let’s face it, I’m better with the deeper stuff.” He threw out a smile, but it was a tight, cautious smile. “So. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

Summer had to glance away, because it seemed like those eyes could see straight through her. It was the same intense stare that had caused her to open up to him about Mom all those months ago. Last June, while everyone else had been celebrating the end of school at a giant party, she and Troy had an intense conversation about their parents. She’d gone on and on about Mom—though she hadn’t told him quite everything—and he’d opened up about his dad, who’d left him and his mom several years ago.

“I’m tired and stressed is all. I’m fine. Really,” she said, because there was nothing else she could say. Under the starlit sky that night all those months ago with Troy, she’d almost felt whole again. But then she hadn’t seen him all summer, and now…Well, telling him she was seeing the Angel of Death and that she sometimes saw people’s lives ending? That would only land her in a mental institution.

* * *

Still feeling crappy from her encounter with the guy in North Park and having to lie to Troy, who didn’t say a word the entire way home, Summer rushed up the stairs to her room. She needed to flop on her bed and turn up her music, loud enough it’d drown out thoughts of people dying.

So of course Gabriella was standing in the middle of her bedroom, hair slightly disheveled, pink skirt looking extra puffy today. So much for avoiding death.

In theory, Dad couldn’t see her. Summer decided to shut the door anyway.

Gabriella stuck her fists on her hips and scowled at Summer. “You shouldn’t have said anything.”

Summer ran over her day in her head, trying to figure out what Gabriella was talking about. “I didn’t say anything. Not to my dad. Or to Troy.”

“I mean Larry. The man you yelled at on the sidewalk. He got all freaked out, went overboard on the caffeine, and almost hit another person when his car wrecked. Other people could’ve been killed because of your interference.”

What little energy she had, leaked out of her, and she sagged against her wall. “So he’s dead?”

“No thanks to you,” Gabriella huffed. “Do you realize how bad things could get if you mess with fate?”

A sharp pain jabbed Summer between the ribs. She knew how bad they could get if you didn’t. She pushed off the wall, a tornado of frustration and sorrow churning inside her. “If I’m doing such a crap job then fire me.”

Gabriella pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “You were trying to do a Guardian Angel’s job. Not your job.

“Well maybe I’d rather be a Guardian Angel, then.”

“Sorry, dear. You have to have died already to fulfill that position. Are you ready to leave all this behind?” Gabriella gestured around her and then crossed her arms firmly across her chest. “So, you have something not ideal going on in your life. What about all the things you do have? A nice home. Friends. Your dad.”

“I don’t have my mom.” It burst out of her, along with a couple of tears. “I need my mom.”

Gabriella’s stern posture loosened. She reached out and gently wiped a tear from Summer’s cheek. “Yes, I do feel for you there. I’m sorry that’s been so hard on you, but some people don’t have any family. Or they do, and their families don’t treat them well. Some people go hungry. Some people have a debilitating disease.” Her hand moved to Summer’s shoulder, and she flashed her a consoling smile. “We all have our lots in life, and this is yours. If you’d try a little bit, you’d see that you’re good at it.”

“But what if that Larry guy needed some resolution? I thought that was what I was supposed to do. That is in my job description, according to you.”

“If he needed one, we’d already have a Cipher on it, long before you saw him die. Most people don’t need Ciphers. We only send you gals in when we know the circumstances call for a little extra help.”

“Maybe I’m not supposed to be a Cipher. I think you guys got it wrong this time. For one, I’m not even sure if I believe in all that stuff anymore. I’ve doubted that everything happens for a reason for a while now.”

“For one year and two months. I know.” Gabriella’s voice softened. “I believe in you, and right now, I need you to believe—to know—that you are the right person to help Ashlyn.”

Summer stepped back far enough for Gabriella’s hand to drop from her shoulder. “You know, I’m getting a little sick of just hoping that you know what you’re doing. You’re wrong. I’m not supposed to do this.”

Gabriella’s lower lip quivered, tears filled her eyes, and when she spoke, her voice shook. “I didn’t get it wrong. You simply need to try harder. I wish I had the experience to tell you how to do that.” She sniffed. “I don’t know what to do with you.”

Great, along with feeling crappy and sad and angry, she got to feel guilty for making the bubbly Gabriella cry. Who knew that was even possible? “I’m sorry, Gabriella. I didn’t mean it to come out so harsh. I feel as lost as you do.”

“It’s been such a stressful week.” Gabriella fluttered her lids, the tears caught in her lashes winking in the light. “You know, I don’t always know why things are the way they are either. But I have faith things will work out in the end. I even have faith you’ll figure this out. I’m going to get you through this job, Summer, even if it’s the death of me.” A choked laugh came from her. “Pardon the expression. Obviously, that ship has sailed.”

“I’ll try harder this week, I promise,” Summer said. “I didn’t know I couldn’t tell people. I just felt the need to do something.”

“Well, you’re doing fairly well, considering everything.” Gabriella’s watch chimed and she sighed. “I’ve got to go deliver some more messages.”

Summer’s spirits sank even lower. Great. More messages mean more people dying.

Gabriella took Summer’s hand and sandwiched it between hers. “Keep trying, Summer Dear. You’ll get the hang of it.” She smiled, and then she was gone.

As Summer stared at the now-empty spot, she wondered if she’d ever get used this new facet of her life. It didn’t seem all that odd to be talking to the Angel of Death anymore. The disappearing act still weirded her out a bit, though.

Too tired to think anymore, Summer fell into bed and drifted to sleep.

The horrific images of death didn’t wait long to creep into her mind.

Chapter Thirteen

Anytime Summer closed her eyes or let her mind wander, the images from her nightmares crept back into her head and left her cold, inside and out. This morning while Dad had been watching the news, the weatherman had declared it seventy-five degrees and sunny, but Summer still decided to pull out her Chicago-weather sweater and wear it to school. Even with the sweater on, the chill wouldn’t leave her body. As she sat in her desk, starting at her notebook, she tried to shut out her bad dreams and focus on a way to help Ashlyn.

Troy tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow’s Friday?” She didn’t wait for his answer when she realized it was. “I’m going to Kendall’s birthday party. It’s supposed to be the best party ever,” she said without any of the enthusiasm her statement implied.

His features hardened. “So you’re back to that group now?”

Summer spun around. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that the allure of the in-crowd proves to be too much for some.”

“Kendall’s still my friend. She’s already annoyed that I’ve been hanging out with the Re—” It almost slipped out. The very thing she hated people to call her new friends. “The other group.”

Troy pressed his lips into a hard line. “So there it is. I’m a little disappointed, Sunshine. I thought you were better than that.”

“Oh, not all of us can be like you, Mister Bond. You get to hang out with any and every group, and it’s all good, because you’re so cool. Well, I’m trying my best here to balance everything and everyone.”

Troy shook his head. “Yeah, and I bet you’ll be trying all the way back to your ex-boyfriend. Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on him.”

“I’ve got more to worry about than what you think. Not that it’s any of your business anyway.”

“That’s not exactly a denial.”

Summer clenched her jaw. “I don’t owe you anything. I can do whatever I want, with whoever I want.”

“I was just hoping you’d choose differently this time. You think those people really care about you? They don’t even know the real you. I thought you were coming back, figuring it out. But I’m starting to wonder if you even remember anymore.” Troy green eyes bored into her. “The girl I met all those months ago disappeared. I only see a flicker now and then.”

Her chest constricted in a mixture of anger and hurt. “Whatever. This is who I am. I’m sorry you don’t like it, but you don’t have to be a jerk about it!” She whipped back to face the front of the room. Several people were looking in her and Troy’s direction, watching the show. She glared at them until they turned away. Add a few more to the list of the people who didn’t like her. What did she care anymore?

As Mr. Jennings lectured, Summer furiously scribbled notes in her notebook, fuming as she thought about her and Troy’s argument. She didn’t know why he’d decided to act like a jackass today. Yesterday he claimed she could talk to him; today he was acting all self-righteous. At least it reassured her that she’d made the right decision to keep her secret to herself.

It’s my burden. I’ll deal with it alone.

* * *

Walking to practice, Summer spotted Troy talking with a brunette girl. The girl leaned in, placed her hand on his arm, and laughed at whatever he was saying. Summer hurried by, trying her best to show she didn’t care.

Unable to help herself, though, she stole a glance over her shoulder. And found Troy looking back at her. Her heart clenched, and she nearly tripped. Tearing her gaze away, she picked up her pace. Oh sure, he implies I’m shallow, then smooshes up against some girl who’s not exactly on the bottom of the social ladder. He’s always got a new girl hanging on him, too. She clenched her fists, getting more and more irritated. No wonder she’d decided to give up on guys. They were all stupid.

Summer burst through the gym doors, liking the loud noise it made. Maybe she’d go in and out of it a dozen times and see if she felt better.

“It’s about time,” Kendall said. “We were almost to start without you.”

“Well, I’m here now.” Summer tossed her bag off to the side and walked onto the gym floor. All the girls glared at her as she moved to her place, making it clear they didn’t appreciate her tardiness. Or maybe they didn’t like anything about her. Right now, the feeling was mutual.

In a little over an hour, I’ll be done with my day. I can go home, drown my sorrows in rocky road ice cream, Oreos, and hot fudge, and pretend it never happened.

The music started, and Summer kept missing her cue. Too much weighed on her mind, making her sloppy. Her moves followed one beat behind everyone else, and at one point, she wrecked into Lexi. “Sorry,” she mumbled. “I’ll get it next time.”

She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the music. Dancing usually took away her stress, the same way music did. The combination was supposed to be even better. If she could just clear her mind and throw herself into the routine, everything else would fall into place. That was the theory, anyway.

But today, it just wasn’t working.

* * *

“You need to re-evaluate your priorities,” Kendall said as she and Summer headed out to the parking lot. “I’ll even help you practice. You used to be so on, but lately…” She shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, I realize some of it’s not your fault. I just don’t know how much longer I can defend you. Do you see what I’m saying?”

Summer looked at her supposed-to-be best friend. “Things are a little hectic and I’ve had a crappy day.”

“Maybe you should focus on dance instead of those other friends you insist on being around. You can be friends with them after season, when you have more time.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll do whatever I need to do to get the routine down.”

“Good. We can’t have people wrecking into each other while we perform.” Kendall readjusted her bag. “So, have you figured out what you’re going to wear tomorrow? My birthday party’s going to be so awesome.”

Summer caught site of the brown soda stripe on her car that she still hadn’t cleaned. She remembered Ashlyn hanging out the window, soda pouring, and the irritation churning through her body lessened. Her body felt lighter. Almost normal.

Kendall crossed her arms and frowned. “What are you smiling at?”

“Sorry,” Summer said, pulling her attention back to Kendall. “I got a little sidetracked.”

“That seems to be happening a lot.”

Yeah, you’re telling me. Since she could tell this conversation was about to go downhill, she decided to hurry up and get out of it. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Kendall. I’m sure you’re party’s going to be a blast.”

Summer climbed in her car and started home. As she buzzed down the familiar road, she turned up her music, letting Three Days Grace transport her to somewhere else for a while. It’s going to be okay. I can figure it out for Ashlyn.

For Ashlyn…

Blue and red lights flashed behind her, and Summer automatically glanced at the speedometer. In her hurry to get home, she hadn’t been paying attention to how fast she was going. Groaning, she pulled her car to the side of the road.

Stupid cop, ruining her Three Days Grace bliss.

“Ugh, could this day get any worse!” she yelled at her dashboard. She grabbed her purse off her seat and dug through it for her driver’s license.

The police officer moseyed over to her car and motioned for her to roll down her window. When he leaned down and looked at her, he had a scowl on his face. “Turn down your music.”

Summer lowered her eyebrows. “That’s why you pulled me over? It’s not even that loud.”

“No,” the cop said, irritation filling his words. “Turn it down so you can hear me.”

Since she doubted saying she could hear him just fine would be helpful, she silenced her tunes. She handed him her driver’s license, not really knowing how this was supposed to go. Dad followed the law to the letter, so he never got pulled over. Already, Summer could hear the lecture he was going to give her when he found out she’d been speeding.

The cop studied her license. “I also need to see your registration and proof of insurance.”

She turned to get her papers out of the glove box.

Gabriella materialized in her passenger seat, and Summer threw her hand over her heart. “Holy crap you scared me! What are you doing here?”

“You were speeding,” the cop said.

Summer turned her attention back to the uniformed officer. “Oh, not…” She trailed off, not knowing how to finish without making things worse. She shot him a quick smile, then reached for glove box again.

“Be careful,” Gabriella said. “You better tell him what you’re doing so he doesn’t think you’re reaching for a weapon.”

“Why would I have a weapon?”

“What did you say?” The cop asked, tensing.

Summer’s pulse quickened as she saw his hand hovering over his gun. “I said registration. I’m trying to remember where my dad said my registration is. I think it’s in the glove box, so I’m going to get it.”

“Do you have a weapon in the car?”

“No. Well, I have some mace.” And the woman who’s responsible for sending people to their deaths. Does that count? “My dad makes me carry it, but don’t worry, I won’t use it on you.”

“I strongly suggest you don’t. You better keep your movements slow.”

Summer wanted to tell Gabriella to get out of here before she made things worse. Since she couldn’t talk to her without looking crazy, though, Summer reached past the Angel of Death and retrieved the necessary papers.

“Here you go.” Summer handed the information to the cop. She smiled up at him again, trying to soften him. It didn’t have the desired effect.

He gave her a stern look and then headed back to his car.

“I don’t think that went very well,” Gabriella said, shaking her head and then pursing her lips. “Getting grounded right now would be a detriment to your job. You can’t afford any time not working on Ashlyn.”

Summer frowned. “It’s not like I meant to get pulled over. And I think things would’ve gone much better if I wasn’t talking to an invisible person while he was here. I said weapon with an armed cop right outside my window. Is this how I’m going to die?”

“I can’t change the past,” Gabriella said. “We need to focus on the problem at hand.”

“So, you think my dad’s going to ground me?”

“That’s why I decided to pop in, even though I really don’t have time for it. So, instead of getting all dramatic and defensive with your dad—like you always do with me—explain your bad day. Tell him that you realize how dangerous speeding can be, and promise you’ll pay better attention to keep it from happening again.” Gabriella nodded to herself. She looked even more out of place in Summer’s car than she did in her bedroom. “Yes, I think that’ll work.”

“You haven’t already seen the future conversation all played out?”

“Don’t be silly. I don’t see the future; I’m going off a hunch. My hunches are reliable, though.”

“I think this is the most helpful you’ve been.” Summer leaned back in her seat. “Of course, you might be wrong.”

“Oh, Summer Dear, you always know exactly what to say to make me feel like a failure at a job I’ve done for… Well, longer than I care to admit.”

“Sorry.” Summer’s gaze flicked to the rearview mirror, then back to Gabriella. “You seem kinda sensitive for someone who delivers death sentences on a daily basis.”

“Oh, you think when I was a little girl I dreamed of spending eternity doing this? That I was like, that’ll be such fun, delivering messages of imminent death and dragging souls away from their bodies? I assure you, I didn’t. But ordinarily I do a pretty good job of it. If you saw the big picture, you’d realize that death isn’t the end. I know my job is important, and it’s hard work. Just because I’m used to delivering tough news doesn’t mean my feelings never get hurt.”

“Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I appreciate the advice about my dad.”

“Just stay out of trouble. You can’t afford another complication.” Gabriella glanced out the rear window. “Your cop’s coming back with a ticket. It’s too late to talk him out of that one.” She was transparent when she added, “Now, get back to work on Ashlyn.”

The cop handed Summer a ticket listing damages in the hundred-dollar range, then told her to be safe. Like he actually cared about her safety.

Summer eased back onto the road and started thinking about what she was going to say to Dad. Convincing him she’d had a bad day shouldn’t be much of a challenge. She had enough ammo on that subject to last for days.

Chapter Fourteen

Summer killed her car’s engine and looked over at Ashlyn. “Are you ready?”

Ashlyn shook her head. The whole drive to Kendall’s, she’d tried talking Summer out of going to the party. Since she was already on Kendall’s blacklist, though, skipping the party wasn’t an option. In fact, she felt lucky Gabriella’s advice had worked so well—that she hadn’t gotten grounded. Dad had been surprisingly understanding about the speeding ticket, only giving a short-by-his-standards, ten-minute spiel on safety on the road before letting her off with a warning.

“Come on. It’ll be fun once we get inside.” Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Summer exited the car. Witnessing Cody and Jenna making out all week had been gut-wrenching. Being forced into tight quarters with them would make the awkwardness almost impossible to avoid.

Music filled the air, getting louder the closer she and Ashlyn got to the house. Summer knew it was supposed to be a small party. Judging by the cars around the house and the noise coming from inside, it looked like it had already gotten out of control.

Without bothering with the doorbell, Summer walked in, Ashlyn trailing behind her. Kendall’s platinum hair caught her eye.

“Happy Birthday!” Summer thrust the silver-wrapped box into Kendall’s hands—earrings she’d not-so-subtly pointed out. “Kendall, this is Ashlyn. Ashlyn, Kendall.”

The two regarded each other with a slight nod. Neither bothered with the usual nice-to-meet-you-type comments.

Jack walked up behind Kendall and wrapped his arms around her. He looked over her head at Summer. “What’s up, Summer? Long time no see.”

“Yeah, it’s been a little crazy lately.”

They stood there for an awkward moment, everyone staring at each other. A new group showed up at the door, and Summer led Ashlyn into the living room. People filled the room, music blared, and some girl she didn’t recognize was already on the brink of passing out. So, par for the course.

“Hey, what’s that par for the course saying about?” Summer asked Ashlyn.

“Golf or something,” Ashlyn said. “But I always hear people talking under or over par. So what exactly is par? I mean from the saying I know it means normal, but why don’t people just say, ‘That’s normal, yo?’”

Summer laughed. She loved that Ashlyn simply took up the conversation, not needing to know why Summer was asking, or where it came from. Or even giving her a you’re-such-a-weirdo look. “I never understood golf. I just know it’s the most boring of the sports to watch on TV.”

“My mother doesn’t consider it a sport because there’s not enough cardio.”

Okay, I need to say something about this. Something helpful. “At least you don’t have to watch it, then, right? And you don’t have any golf magazines shoved at you, so…win?”

Ashlyn wrinkled her forehead—so apparently that topic change was too much of a stretch.

“Hey, Summer,” Matt, a guy from the football team, said as he lifted his red cup. He looked at Ashlyn, and a smile spread across his face. “Aren’t you in my Spanish class?”

“Sí,” Ashlyn said.

He laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard, then thrust out his hand. “Me llamo Matt. It’s Ashlyn, right?”

Ashlyn took his hand but didn’t say anything, so Summer decided to step in. “Ashlyn and I just came to party it up. We’re having a blast.” Overstatement, but girls having fun were easier to flirt with.

Matt nodded, his gaze never leaving Ashlyn. “Cool, cool.”

Come on, you can flirt better than that, can’t you, Matt? Ashlyn was smiling back, and there was definitely a spark. So Summer decided to give them some space, hoping that’d help Matt’s verbal skills. She circled the party, saying a quick “hey” or “what’s up?” to people she knew. The girls on the squad ignored her in that way that made it clear she was purposely being ignored.

Great. So glad I came so everyone can hate on me. At least Ashlyn and Matt are still talking. Tonight won’t be a total waste.

“Hey, Summer,” Lexi said. “Nice guest. At least you didn’t bring those nerdy twins, but seriously, what’s up with you hanging out with that Ashley girl all the time? You know it bugs Kendall.”

“It’s Ashlyn, actually, and I brought her because she’s smart, funny, and not a backstabber.”

Lexi scrunched up her eyebrows. “Are you saying I’m a backstabber?”

Bringing her hand up to her chest and acting shocked, Summer said, “Of course not. But if the shoe fits, we all know you’ll wear it.”

Lexi took a step forward, completely breaching Summer’s personal space. “If you want to say something, say it. No one understands the way you ramble on and on and talk in code.”

“I said what I wanted to say.” Summer shot her a grin, turned, and walked away. Fueling the hate-Summer-fire probably wasn’t the best idea, but she refused to let Lexi’s slam on her friends slide.

She ducked into the kitchen to get some water and take a few minutes to regroup. Then she’d circle back to check on Ashlyn and Matt. She downed a glass of water and then set it in the sink, trying to amp herself up for getting back to the party. It shouldn’t be so difficult to go join her so-called friends. Somewhere along the way, though, several of her friends had turned hostile.

“Hey, Summer.” His familiar voice washed over her, sending a pang through her chest.

“Cody.” Part of her wanted to bolt, but she turned to face him and stood her ground.

For a moment, they just stared at each other. Cody put his hand on the counter right next to her, tracing the groove of the sink with his finger. “Kendall’s family really went all out, buying stuff for a party they’re not even allowed to attend.”

“She wouldn’t stand for anything less,” Summer said. They shared a smile, then she searched for something else to say. It was so weird being here with him, working so hard on something that used to come so easily. “So, um, how’s football going?”

“Coach has got us working some killer plays. We’re going to be unstoppable if we figure out how to pull them off.”

“Well, good luck with that.”

Somehow their bodies had gotten closer and closer, until there was hardly space between them at all. Cody looked around—they were still alone—then slid his hand from the counter to her hip. “I miss you.”

A giant lump lodged in her throat. She missed him, too. Missed the security she felt around him. Missed having a boyfriend. Especially yesterday, when everything had fallen apart. Then she remembered why she couldn’t call him. How painful it’d been watching him and Jenna make out all week. She looked up into his baby blue eyes and told herself to be strong. “What about Jenna?”

His head wobbled side to side, as if he was hoping to knock loose the answer. “Certain aspects of being with Jenna are nice.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Like the fact she goes all the way.

Cody’s fingers blazed a warm trail around her hip to her back. “But I don’t love Jenna.” He leaned in, and she knew she should stop him before he kissed her. Instead, she stood there, watching his lips come closer, everything going in slow motion.

“Summer! There you are!” Ashlyn charged across the room and grabbed Summer’s hand, tugging her away from Cody. “Kendall’s looking for you.”

Ashlyn pulled her out of the kitchen, past several making-out couples and one girl puking into a planter. She finally came to a stop at a semi-deserted corner of the living room. “Why don’t you say goodbye to your friends and then we’ll go back to my place?”

“What about Matt?” Summer asked. “I thought you two hit it off.”

“He got my number, and I’ll see him at school. I think it’s time to go, though. Before either of us does something we’ll regret.”

Summer nodded, catching her meaning. Jenna was looking around, most likely in search of Cody, and Summer felt like an idiot. Cody just wanted the best of both worlds—the hard- and easy-to-get girls.

Summer shoved her way through the crowd to get to Kendall, who was lecturing a boy who’d spilled his drink on the white couch. The second she finished, he darted away, eyes wide with terror.

Summer tapped Kendall’s shoulder. “Happy Birthday. It’s a great party, but Ashlyn and I have got to get going.”

“Already? You barely got here and I need”—Kendall darted a glance at Ashlyn—“my best friend here at my party. You’ve gotta help me make sure all these people don’t trash the place.”

Summer bit back a retort about how she didn’t want to police the party, and put her hand over her stomach. “I’m not feeling very good. But I’ll call you later, okay?”

Kendall’s scowl deepened. A hissy fit was coming on, simmering just under the surface.

Trying to diffuse it, Summer leaned in and hugged her. “You look fabulous. Enjoy your party. I’ll call for all the details tomorrow afternoon.”

Summer checked to make sure she still had Ashlyn with her. They plowed a path to the front door and hurried out of the house. As they walked to the car, Summer started thinking how close she came to doing something stupid with Cody. How many times did she have to run through the cycle to stop making the same mistake? “Thanks for swooping in for the save back there. I guess I was having a weak moment.”

“No problem,” Ashlyn said. “I was afraid you’d be mad, but I just know how I felt when I wasn’t strong enough. Back when I was facing the same situation, I wish I would’ve been strong like you.”

“I’m not strong. The fight we had the night we broke up had to be at least the tenth major blow out about sex. A few nights before, he left me at Jack’s house when I pushed him away. I thought I was done then, but I still took him back. I almost let him kiss me tonight.”

“Well, that’s why you brought me along, right?”

“Right. Because you’re strong. Because I knew I could count on you.” Summer unlocked the car and they climbed in. “So, uh, the guy you were talking about? You wanna talk about it?”

“Not even a little bit.”

Summer nodded, knowing what it was like to not want to be pushed on a subject.

“We could go try to catch a few waves,” Ashlyn suggested. “We’d just have to swing by my place and get my gear first. You can use my long board and old wetsuit like you did the other morning.”

“Let’s do it.” Immediately, Summer thought about Troy and the promise she’d made to call him next time she planned on going into the water. Her fingers itched to grab the phone and dial his number. Too bad they were still in a fight for reasons she couldn’t quite figure out.

* * *

Summer woke up and tried to get her bearings. It took a couple seconds to remember that she’d crashed at Ashlyn’s last night. Dad had sounded surprised when she’d called and asked to spend the night—probably because she hadn’t had a sleep over for years.

Her stiff muscles screamed at her as she rolled to her side. “I’m sore everywhere,” she groaned.

Ashlyn sat up and covered a yawn with her hand. “Those waves were brutal, that’s for sure.”

“And I spent all my time trying to get on my board. Just in time to get knocked right back into the water.”

Ashlyn rolled her neck from side to side. “Let’s go get some breakfast. I’m starving.”

They headed to the kitchen, where the smell of food filled the air. Pamela stood at the stove. “Summer, do you want one or two egg whites?”

“Whites?”

“Yes, you can buy all whites.” Pamela lifted a carton that looked like it was for drinking and most definitely not something eggs should come in. “The yolk has all the fat and cholesterol.” She motioned to the plate on the table. “Ashlyn, I already made you a spinach omelet with two whites, the way you like it.”

Ashlyn wrinkled her nose. “No. That’s the way you like it. I’m with Summer. I miss the yolk.”

“Summer’s skinny enough to eat the yolk. Maybe you can have one when you reach your goal weight.”

Ashlyn’s face dropped, and Summer clenched her jaw. How was she supposed to convince Ashlyn to make peace with her mom when she took cheap shots at her all the time?

Do something! Anything! “Ashlyn took me surfing all night, though. She’s going to need real food to make up for it.”

Pamela set the spatula on the counter. “The omelet is very filling, especially when paired with some whole grain toast. You’ll see.”

A few minutes later, Pamela presented Summer with a white and green mix of food. Summer took a bite. Since Pamela was watching, she mumbled, “So good.” But as soon as she turned around, Summer made a gagging motion to Ashlyn, who erupted in laughter.

Pamela spun around. “What?”

“Nothing,” Ashlyn said. “I was just thinking of a joke I heard last night.”

Pamela dumped the skillet in the sink and ran water over it. “Well, girls, I’ve got to get going. I’ve got people to whip into shape.”

As soon as Pamela left the room, Ashlyn muttered, “Would it be so bad for her to say one nice thing about me?”

Summer took a bite of her omelet. “She cared enough to make you breakfast.”

“That’s just control. She wants to make sure I eat healthy.”

“She’s trying to take care of you the only way she knows how.”

Ashlyn scowled at her. “Who’s side are you on?”

“I’m on yours, of course.” Summer tried to think of a way to be on both of their sides for her job, but that’s the thing about sides. You can’t really be on both of them at once. “How about we go to my house and get something to eat that doesn’t taste like rubber. Dad and I don’t cook, so we have all the sugary, grab-on-your-way-out-the-door stuff. I put cream cheese in the middle of two strawberry Pop-Tarts, and it’s like having cheesecake for breakfast.”

Ashlyn pushed away her hardly-touched food. “I’m not really hungry anymore. I’m going to go for a run or something.”

Summer set her fork on the counter. “You want some company?”

“It’d be too embarrassing when I started breathing heavy and couldn’t keep up with you.”

Summer wanted to offer to walk. She searched for something to say to make it better. After all, she was supposed to be a natural at this. But nothing came. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”

The skin around Ashlyn’s eyes was red, like she was on the verge of tears. “Yeah. Later.”

Chapter Fifteen

The first thing Summer saw when she walked into the school Monday morning was Lexi talking to Darren. Every nerve in Summer’s body pricked up—the girl had been trashing the guy a few days ago. Why was she all buddy-buddy with him now?

A surge of fierce protection shot through Summer, and she charged toward them.

She just caught the end of Lexi’s sentence. “…sit next to you in class, and you give me the signal for the answers.”

“He’s not doing that,” Summer said.

Lexi turned toward Summer and a frown replaced the flirtatious smile she’d had plastered on her face. “This isn’t about you, so stay out of it.”

Summer ignored her and made eye-contact with Darren. “It’s not worth it. Does MIT take cheaters? Any of the colleges you want to go to? Would they take you if you get caught cheating?”

“We won’t get caught.” Lexi put her hand on Darren’s shoulder. “We’ve done it before, and it was fine.”

Unwilling to let Lexi push Darren into doing something she knew that, deep down, he didn’t want to do, Summer stepped between them, crowding Lexi the way she had done to her the other night at the party. “Why don’t you study to get your answers, Lexi?”

Lexi took a large step back.

Summer closed the gap again, anger fueling her forward. “If you can remember all the gossip, surely you can mix some useful facts in with the catty half-truths you spread around.”

“I don’t know what your deal is lately. You think you’re so high and mighty.” Lexi lowered her voice. “Then you keep ignoring your friends to hang with the losers. Like you’re not doing the same thing.”

“I like Darren,” Summer said, not bothering to whisper back. “I’m not asking for help or test answers, and he’s most certainly not a loser.”

Fury filled Lexi’s eyes as she glared at Summer. “You think long and hard about this. I might not have quite as much pull as Kendall, but I can make your life miserable if you cross me.”

“Your threats don’t bother me, Lexi. You’re just a self-centered gossip, and I won’t let you take advantage of my friends because they’re too nice to say no.”

“Remember you brought this on yourself,” Lexi said, then she spun on her heel and stormed off.

Summer turned to check on Darren and almost bumped into Troy. “Whoa. What are you doing here, Mister Bond?”

“I thought you might need reinforcements,” Troy said.

“I didn’t realize we were still on the same team.”

One corner of Troy’s mouth twisted up. “Neither did I. You just proved me wrong.” He glanced at Darren. “You cool, dude?”

“I should’ve said no, but she’s pretty and…”

“And nothing else, dude. That’s it.” Troy nudged Summer. “Let’s take a walk, Sunshine.” He started down the hall, not bothering to look whether she was coming. His overconfidence annoyed her and drew her to him, all at the same time.

She hung back for a second, waiting to see when he’d notice.

He glanced over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows, a silent you-coming-or-what gesture.

She wanted to talk to him too much to continue fighting with him. She caught up to him, matching his quick stride, waiting for him to break the silence.

He twisted the leather cuff on his wrist. “So, I was kind of a jerk about the party.”

Summer raised an eyebrow. “Kind of?”

“Okay, I was, and I’m sorry.” Troy sat on one of the benches lining the hall and patted the spot next to him.

“Well, I might’ve overreacted because I was having a bad day.” Summer sat, tucking her leg under her as she faced him. “I still don’t get why you got so mad about me hanging out with people who you know are my friends.”

He draped his arm on the beach and tapped his long fingers on the top of it. “I thought you’d get around those people and then you’d disappear again. And I wanted to hang out on Friday night. Instead, I pictured you hooking up with that loser again.”

Summer wanted to tell him how wrong he was, but unfortunately, he hadn’t been that wrong.

“Oh, shit, you did.” Troy lifted his hand from the bench and ran it through his hair, making it stick up even more in front. “You’re with him again.”

“I’m not, I swear. He and I had this…” No way am I going to explain this to Troy. “Anyway, Ashlyn and I cut out early and went surfing. I thought about calling you, but since we were in a fight and all…”

Troy let out a long breath and put his arm back on the bench, scooting close enough her knee was against his thigh. And for some reason once she noticed that, all she could think about was the fact that her knee was touching his thigh. He leaned so close their noses were inches from touching. “I declare the fight over.”

She swallowed, finding it more difficult than usual. “What about what you said? About me losing myself?” Just saying the words aloud made her feel like the bottom of her stomach had dropped out.

“I was just mad.”

“Sometimes I do feel a little lost, though.” To her dismay, her voice cracked. “I don’t even know how to get back to the person I used to be.” And I don’t even think it’s possible with everything that’s happening to me.

His hand brushed across her shoulder and then he gently lifted her chin with his fingers. “You’re still in there.” His eyes locked onto hers, and it felt like he was peering inside of her, pulling out all her secrets. “I’ve seen more of the old you lately. The girl who talked music for hours and didn’t get embarrassed when she crashed my skateboard.”

Heat crept into her cheeks as she remembered wrecking in front of him, the kind of wipeout where you were up one minute, then down the next, with no idea how exactly you got there. “Oh, I was embarrassed.”

“But you just laughed, got up, and hopped back on. Knee dripping blood and everything.” An easy smile played at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll even forgive you for the dance music. Everyone has their problems.”

Summer grinned. “Like you’re so normal.”

“Normal’s boring.”

Something in the air shifted, and it was just her and Troy, in their own little bubble. I knew his eyes were green, but were they always that green. This close, she could see how much darker the rim was, which made the lighter part stand out that much more.

“Troy?” A female voice asked, popping the bubble. She was the same tall brunette he was with yesterday after school—a volleyball player, if Summer remembered it right. “I need to talk to you. About…you know.”

“You know?” She’s interrupting us for you know? As annoying as that was, Summer found herself wanting to know. Especially since Troy straightened, widening the space between them.

He held up one finger to the volleyball player, and then glanced back at Summer. “You did a nice thing, standing up for Darren earlier. I know Lexi is your friend, and that probably wasn’t easy.”

“Actually, it was easier than I dreamed it’d be. Lexi and I have always had a rocky relationship, even before this morning. But it’s probably going to get worse. Not just with her, either.” Summer worried about the fallout with the team and how it’d affect their dance routine. Hopefully Kendall would figure out a way to smooth it over, because Summer didn’t think she had the energy.

The volleyball player was still standing there, and judging from her crossed arm position, getting impatient. But Summer didn’t want to let Troy go quite yet. “You seem to flow effortlessly from group to group with no problems, Mister Bond. How do you do it?”

He gave a casual shrug, a cocky smile curving his lips. “I’m an enigma.” He glanced at the volleyball player. “I’ve gotta go.” He gave Summer’s knee a quick squeeze. “See you around.”

He stood, and he and the brunette walked away, their heads close together, but in a hushed-discussion way, not a we’re-about-to-suck face way.

So there was that. Whatever that was.

* * *

All the other girls on the dance team gave Summer icy glares as she took her place on the floor. Is it cold in here, or is it just all of you?

The music for their routine started. She went one way; the whole team went the other. Struggling to keep up, she found herself a step behind the entire dance. Again. She’d practiced over and over, but that didn’t matter if someone pulled the rug out from under you.

“What happened?” Summer asked at the end of the routine.

“We changed the steps,” Kendall said.

“No one told me.”

Kendall crossed her arms. “Sucks to be left out, doesn’t it?”

So apparently Kendall wasn’t on her side anymore. Awesome.

“We had a meeting at lunch,” Kendall continued, “but you were busy with your other friends. I don’t have time to explain it all again, so I guess you’ll have to pick it up on your own.”

For the next hour, Summer struggled. The girls gave her dirty looks, and no one offered to help. Basically, Lexi had made good on her threat. By the end of practice, Summer’s frustrations threatened a hostile takeover.

She headed over to Kendall. “Can I come over and work on the new moves?”

“Now you want to be my friend?” Kendall asked.

“I never stopped being your friend.”

“Really? You left my party early with Ashlyn, and never even called to find out how the rest of my birthday was.”

“I did mean to call,” Summer said, realizing she’d forgotten to keep her promise about that. “I was just—”

“Let me guess. Busy. Did you have time to hang out with your new friend?”

“Kendall, there’s a good explanation.” Summer tried to think of what explanation she could give. The real one certainly wouldn’t do. And the other truth—that she had so much fun hanging out with Ashlyn that she didn’t want to deal with her high-maintenance friends—wouldn’t go over very well either. “I still don’t understand why it matters if I have other friends.”

Kendall let out an Oscar-winning sigh and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Because you having these new friends is screwing everything up! You mess up at dance practice, and now my grades are on the line. Darren helped Lexi, then I got the answers from her. We had a system, and you messed it up for a guy who likes getting attention from us.”

Summer clenched her jaw, working to cool the angry heat quickly rising through her body. “You guys take advantage of him.”

“So what? That’s the way the world works. Someday he’ll be running a computer company or something like that, and women will throw themselves at him. It all works out.” Kendall pointed a finger in Summer’s face. “You need to fix it. Tell Darren to help us out again and I can probably get Lexi to forgive you.”

She clenched her jaw tighter, so hard she thought a couple of teeth might crack. “I’m not going to do that. I won’t let you use him. Especially when you all trash-talk him behind his back.”

“You still want to dance, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well it’s them or us, so if I were you, I’d rethink your stance. You’ve got till tomorrow morning to fix it. Now if you’ll excuse me, the girls and I have plans.” Kendall picked up her bag and raised her voice. “Come on guys. Let’s go.”

Summer stared as they walked away. Well hell.

She exited the gym and spotted Troy walking across the parking lot, headed toward his Jeep. Needing to talk to someone who didn’t hate her, she rushed to catch up with him. “What are you still doing here, Mister Bond?”

Troy glanced at her. “Hey. Just…this and that. How was dance practice?”

“The girls are mad about the Lexi-Darren thing. I got an ultimatum and everything. Fix it or get off the team.”

“So quit. You don’t need them.”

“It’s not them that I need. It’s the dancing,” she said. Mom always talked about how much she loved watching her dance. Summer loved it not only because she loved dancing and the rush of a performance, but also because she and Mom had done it together. “Dancing. It…my mom…It’s hard to explain.” A giant lump formed in her throat. “I feel closer to her when I dance.”

Troy slowed and put his hand on her arm, just above her elbow. “Then you dance, Sunshine.” He shot her a giant grin. “Dance your ass off.”

Usually, she’d laugh at that—at least smile—but she didn’t know if she had it in her today. A big part of her wanted to give up. But those months she hadn’t danced were her darkest, and she never wanted to feel like that again. Maybe she could take other classes at a studio or something. But Mom wouldn’t be there, sitting with the other moms. She wouldn’t be beside Summer either, struggling to learn the steps with her. Besides, Summer had worked hard on the routine so the team could compete at the State Competition. She’d made up sections of the choreography. It was her senior year, and her last chance to be part of something like that. She didn’t want to walk away now.

“Come on. I know what’ll cheer you up.” Troy pulled her over to his Jeep and opened the passenger door. “Hop in.”

* * *

Troy opened the door to Louie’s Pizza and ushered Summer inside. It used to be one of their regular stops before going to Equinox. Louie’s was the only place that could compare to the pizza in Chicago. After ordering a few giant slices of pepperoni and a couple of drinks, they settled into a corner table.

“You never told me your mom was a dancer like you,” Troy said.

“She was an amazing dancer. I remember her blasting music and declaring it Dance Party Time. She even forced Dad to join in.” Summer smiled, thinking about their dance parties that sometimes included jumping off and on the furniture. “As soon as I could walk, she put me in classes. I did jazz, tap, hip-hop, a little Irish dancing, and even ballet.”

Troy’s eyebrows shot up. “Ballet? I never would’ve pegged you for a ballerina.”

“My ballerina stint was brief.” Since she’d seen her first vision of death after her ballet solo, she’d never put on her toe shoes again, as if ballet had anything to do with her vision. She shook off that thought and forced herself to move on. “But since my first class, I’ve always been involved in dance in some way. It became such a big part of how I defined myself.”

Summer opened her mouth, poised to take a bite of pizza, when she realized something. “I guess that’s why I settled into things with Kendall and her crowd. It went along with dance. I’m afraid I got sucked in and turned a little shallow myself. Really, I just haven’t been the same since my mom left.”

“She didn’t leave, Summer,” Troy said. “Not on purpose.”

Her chest tightened and tears crawled up her throat. She did, though. I asked her not to go, but she went anyway.

“My dad…” Troy picked up his soda, and pointed the straw toward her. “Now, that’s a loser that left on purpose.”

The night she’d told him about how Mom had died and how much she missed her, he’d told her about his dad. Troy was thirteen when his dad informed him he’d have to be the man of the house. Then his dad left, all so he could pursue his dream of becoming a musician. He never wrote, called, sent money—never did any of those things dads were supposed to do. Troy and his mom never heard from him again.

Summer thought of her own father and how lost she’d be without him. Which is why certain things are better left unsaid.

Troy sighed. “This conversation went downhill quickly. I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of cheering you up.

“I can feel it. Things are starting to change. And I don’t think it’ll be for the better.” She might be able to handle all the crap at school if she could just make better progress with Ashlyn and her mom. If she didn’t feel like she was failing at everything.

“Come on,” Troy said a few minutes later. “I’m not done trying to cheer you up yet.” They walked back down the sidewalk the way they’d come, toward Troy’s Jeep. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds, the temperature dropping without its warmth. Summer slipped on her hoodie, glad she’d brought it. The streetlights lit up downtown, and she scooted closer to Troy as they approached his Jeep.

He reached into the back and took out two skateboards. He placed one on the ground in front of her. “Hop on. Unless all your months away have ruined your skills.”

“What skills? I never had any skills to start with.” She put a tentative foot on the board and slowly pushed off.

Troy eased ahead of her, and she followed. He went slow for her—she knew because she’d seen how fast he usually rode. They rolled down the sidewalks, weaving in and out of people, until they reached the park.

A few familiar figures greeted them as they neared the fountain.

“I heard you’re having a bad day,” Ashlyn said, shooting Summer a sympathetic smile. “Troy texted me and told me to get the gang together. Said you might need a pick-me-up.”

Nelson raised his digital camcorder. “I’m ready.”

Troy kicked up his skateboard and caught it. “This is how I first met these guys, by the way. Nelson makes movies to put up on YouTube, and he wanted to get a few skate stunts filmed. He saw me riding outside of school one day and asked if I’d be interested. Ashlyn rides, too. So Nelson films, and Aaron and Darren help with calculations.” He gave the twins a charming nod/grin combo. “Although human error often skews the results, right guys?”

Darren raised a finger. “Yes, our calculations are not at fault. Math never fails. But it’s like that saying of too many cooks spoiling the broth. If you add too many variables, even a computer won’t be able to compute the infinite possibilities.”

“Wow, good to know,” Summer said, though she had no idea what it was supposed to mean. She glanced from face to face, noticing one was missing. “Where’s Marcie?”

“Marcie only hangs with us at lunch,” Ashlyn said. “Her parents don’t let her go out much. She’s got like eight brothers and sisters, so it’s school, and then home to help take care of all her siblings. It’s one of the few times I actually feel glad to have the mom I do.”

Summer felt like she should say something, like maybe make a positive statement about Pamela. Nothing came to mind, though, and she wanted to forget about her troubles, not think about her job.

Ashlyn hopped on her board. “I say we try by the fountain until someone yells at us.”

Summer pushed off, rolling after Ashlyn and Troy. When she picked up speed, she teetered, barely catching herself from falling. Dang, I’m rusty.

She, Troy, and Ashlyn skated around the center of the park. Summer’s trick was to stay on, while Ashlyn and Troy did real, far cooler tricks, like kick-flips and rail slides. Nelson had his video camera up, filming them as they rode.

“I’m going to go do another rail slide,” Ashlyn said, skating toward the set of stairs.

Summer wobbled and worked to steady herself. “I’ll just be here in the flat part, trying not to hurt myself.” She skated after Troy as he made another circle around the fountain.

They were going down a slight incline, when Troy unexpectedly stopped in front of Summer. “Hey, we should—”

“Watch—” Summer barreled into Troy, unable to stop in time or finish her warning. They went down hard, landing in a tangled heap on the unforgiving cement. Her breath was still somewhere in the air above her, and she heard her skateboard still rolling on without her. “Ouch.”

In her attempt to dive right, she’d landed on her side, and her hip and knee throbbed. She rolled onto her back with a groan.

Troy’s face appeared over her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, all except for my pride.” She sucked in a breath as she propped herself onto her elbows, gravel digging into her skin. “How about you? I crashed into you pretty good.”

“I’ve had much worse.” Troy jumped to his feet and extended a hand to her. She let him pull her up and then looked down to assess the damage. The denim over her knee was ripped open, and the exposed skin had a bloody scuff on it. It stung, but there was something cool about it, too. Like it was reminding her that she was still alive and doing something she forgot she loved. Not that she needed anymore battle scars tonight. “I should probably take a break before I break something. Or someone.”

“Let’s go sit for a few, then.” Troy grabbed both skateboards and tucked them under his arm. He wrapped the other arm around her waist. She almost told him she didn’t need his help, but he was warm and he smelled good, a beach-y scent with a hint of citrusy goodness. Her knee was stiff and not very happy about moving as they made their way over to the fountain.

Summer lowered herself onto the ledge of the fountain with a sigh, and Troy followed suit, letting out a sigh of his own. He put his hands behind him and leaned back on his palms, the muscles in his arms flexing. With his dark, messy hair and the stubble starting to form on his jaw, he looked tougher than he used to when he constantly bleached his hair. But then there was his constant, easy smile. The delicious mix of good and bad boy had her pulse suddenly skidding out of control. She knew she should stop looking at him, thinking those kinds of thoughts about one of her best friends, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. He was the same guy as always, yet totally different in a lot of ways.

Darren came over and pointed at Troy’s disregarded skateboards. “Mind if I use yours for a few minutes, Summer?”

“Be my guest,” she said.

Darren hopped on and started messing around, skating back and forth across the area. Even though he was wobbly, she was impressed by how many of the basics he had down.

Troy shifted forward and his knee rested against Summer’s. All the blood in her body seemed to rush to that one spot. “So?” he said.

“So,” she echoed. The breeze sent her hair across her face and she swiped it off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

Troy opened his mouth, but then his gaze flicked over her shoulder. She heard a skateboard approaching and glanced in that direction.

Ashlyn rode up to them, kicked up her board, and sat next to Summer. “It’s been a long time. I came so close to face-planting that last one. Pulled it out last minute, but still got my palms pretty good. She held them up, and, sure enough, they had little bits of skin hanging loose.

“Still, I’m impressed. Yet another thing you’re awesome at,” Summer said.

“Mother says it doesn’t count as exercise because it’s got wheels,” Ashlyn pressed a hand to her chest. She was wheezing again, her breaths coming out shallow and fast. Summer knew that Ashlyn hated attention drawn to it, so she didn’t say anything, but she was going to keep her eyes glued to the girl until her breathing normalized again.

“Watch out, dude!” Nelson shouted. He had his camera up, filming Darren as he rolled toward the large, cement stairs.

“Stop, Darren,” Troy said, tensing up beside Summer. “The stairs are right—” He jumped to his feet, but it was too late.

Darren rode backward over the edge of the cement steps, disappearing from view. His yell tore through the air. Then everything fell silent.

They all sprinted toward the stairs. Summer gasped when she saw Darren’s body crumpled at the bottom, eerily still.

Ashlyn threw her hands over her mouth. “Darren!”

Ignoring the pain in her knee, Summer rushed down the stairs with the rest of the group. Blood oozed from the back of Darren’s head, and the streetlight lit up his pale, pinched face.

Oh holy crap. Summer crouched next to him. Dying from a skateboarding incident would be unlikely, but Darren wasn’t the sturdiest of kids to begin with. Bracing herself as much as one could when death was involved, she slowly reached out and touched his arm. Nothing. She went ahead and wrapped her entire hand around his arm. Still, no visions came, and she let out a shaky breath.

Darren blinked up at her. “I think my brain’s coming out the back of my skull. I heard it crack open. If I move my head, my brain will slide out, I just know it.”

Troy flipped out his phone and started dialing, and Aaron knelt down next to his brother. Summer shucked off her hoodie and held it against Darren’s head wound, trying to stop the blood, hoping it was the right thing to do. “Don’t move okay,” she said. “You’re going to be fine.”

“My wrist hurts really bad, and I’ve got the chess tournament coming up. How am I going to play speed chess with a broken hand?” With his left hand, he reached back to where Summer held the hoodie and slipped his hand between the fabric and his head. “Why does it feel so wet?”

He brought his hand back to his face and screeched at the blood covering his fingers. “I do one crazy thing in my life and now I’m going to die. There’s so much I haven’t done. I’m too young to die!”

Summer gripped his hand and locked eyes with him. “Darren, listen to me. You’re not going to die.”

He looked unconvinced, fear etched across his features.

She squeezed his hand tighter. “You’re a math guy, right? I can give you a one-hundred-percent guarantee that you’re not going to die. If you were an athlete, I’d say a hundred and ten percent, but you’re too smart for that. You know that’s impossible as much as I do.”

“In fact, giving one hundred percent would cause you to die.”

Summer smiled. If he was still alert enough to give out mathematical facts, he should be okay. “That’s right.”

“So how can you be sure I’m not going to die?” His eyes focused in on her, and they looked clearer this time. A good sign.

“I get a sense about these things. Just trust me.”

“Mom’s going to kill both of us.” Aaron pulled out his phone. “I guess I better call her, too.”

Summer squeezed his hand. “You hang on, Darren. Help’s on the way.” She glanced up at the rest of them through the hair the wind kept blowing in her face and noticed someone was missing. “Where’s Ashlyn?”

* * *

The lights from the ambulance lit up the area, and several people gathered around to see what was going on.

Summer remained glued to Ashlyn’s side, afraid to take her eyes off her. For those few minutes she didn’t know where Ashlyn was, or if her breathing had returned to normal, she’d panicked, thinking the worst. Apparently she’d run up the stairs to try to find help.

Now they both watched as the paramedics loaded Darren into the back of an ambulance. He needed stitches and most likely had a broken wrist. The paramedics assured everyone he’d be fine but said they’d probably want to observe him at the hospital overnight to see how bad the concussion was.

Ashlyn steepled her hands and brought them to her lips. “Mrs. Devlin looked so worried.”

As luck would have it, Aaron and Darren’s mom had already been downtown. She’d shown up shortly after the ambulance had. Seeing an opportunity, Summer said, “Moms are like that. Always worried about their kids. I guess we should give them a break sometimes.”

Ashlyn’s shoulders slumped. “My mother would rather me have a heart attack exercising than accept me at what I weigh now.”

“That’s not true. Besides, you’re fabulous just the way you are.”

“I don’t think so, but thanks for saying it anyway.”

Troy walked up before Summer could say anything else about moms or how awesome Ashlyn was. “So, that was a little more fun than I bargained for.” He put his hand on Summer’s back. “Come on, Sunshine. I better take you back to the school to get your car.” He glanced at Ashlyn. “Need a ride, Ash?”

Ashlyn shook her head. “I’ve got my car. I’ll take Nelson home and see you guys later.”

“Wait,” Summer said. Even though she and Ashlyn had never hugged, she just went for it. No weird visions. Her breathing was normal. And, well, when Ashlyn squeezed back, it was hard to convince herself to let go. “See you tomorrow.”

On their way back to the Jeep, a cold breeze kicked up, sending goose bumps across Summer’s skin. Troy put his arm around her and tucked her in next to him. “I’ve got a jacket in the car. Sorry yours got ruined.” He ran his hand up and down her arm. “You were really great with Darren tonight. You calmed him down when he was about to freak out.”

“I just had to speak a little math lingo.” Images of the night flashed through her head. Pizza, skateboarding with her friends, the crazy ending. “Now that everyone’s okay, is it bad to say that I had a good time?”

“I think even Darren’s going to like re-telling the story. If he can get over his chess hand being busted, anyway.”

Summer looked at Troy’s hand on her arm—the long fingers, the fat silver ring he wore on his index finger—and tingly butterflies erupted in her stomach. She glanced up at him and found his green eyes looking right back at her. Her heart thudded in her chest. All day she kept seeing him in a different light. But she was still fresh from a breakup, and she had too much other stuff going on her life to even consider the possibility of her and Troy being more.

Right?

Curled up against him, though, she felt safe and warm, the worries from earlier today so far away now. Realizing she was staring, she decided she should say something before she simply started drooling, or some other equally cool thing. “Um, so your plan worked. I’m successfully cheered up.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Thanks.”

Troy tightened his grip and his lips brushed her temple as he spoke. “Anytime, Sunshine. Anytime.”

Chapter Sixteen

Things between Summer and her old group of friends got progressively worse with each passing day. Practice was a battlefield. Girls glared, insulted, and made it clear how much they didn’t want to be around her.

“Nice moves,” Kendall said to Summer as she gathered her stuff. Only the way she said it didn’t seem like a compliment. “Looks like you’ve been putting a little too much effort into being a nerd and not enough into dancing.”

Something inside of Summer finally broke—that last shred that cared about salvaging her friendship with Kendall. Her getting-walked-over-days were over as of now. “I was on with the rest of you.”

“You call those spastic movements on? Maybe you were on beat, but you looked ridiculous.”

Summer lowered her voice and leaned in. “Kendall, why are you doing this? It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“Why do you think? You made your choice, and your choice was to snub me, so yeah, it does have to be this way.”

“I didn’t snub you. I still want to be your friend. Not as much now that you’re being such a…” Summer clenched her jaw and shook her head, barely catching herself in time.

“A what?” Kendall asked. “Go ahead and say it.”

“Fine. A huge bitch!” Summer had intended to hold it in, no matter how hard Kendall pushed, but apparently her mouth didn’t get the memo.

The girls all around gasped in horror. Kendall’s nostrils flared as she narrowed her eyes on Summer. “Did you guys know that Summer scrapes most of her clothing from the bottom of an outlet clearance bin? All her shoes are knock-offs.”

Summer rolled her eyes. “Really, Kendall? Who gives a crap about that stuff?”

“Outlets are icky,” Lexi said.

“I think it’s dumb to pay ridiculously high prices, when you can get it for cheaper somewhere else. In fact, I don’t even care about name-brand stuff.”

“Because you can’t afford it,” Kendall said.

Shouldering her bag, Summer faced the circle of girls that had gathered behind Kendall. “Did you ever think that there are more important things than name-brand clothes and perfect hair?”

Kendall shot her a smile that was all ice, not even a hint of warmth to it. “That’s what poor people with frizzy hair say.”

I give up. Biting back all the retorts she had ready to fire off, Summer headed toward the gym’s exit, making sure to hold her head high.

“Are you just going to run away now?” Kendall asked. “Don’t act like you’re above all this. You’ve sat gossiping with me tons of times. Lexi, Summer thinks you’re a malicious gossip with nothing better to do than discuss other people’s lives. And Georgia, Summer said that your dance moves are rubbery and awkward looking.”

Summer swiveled back, mouth hanging open. She shouldn’t be surprised. A few months ago, Kendall had pushed Alyssa out of the group because she’d had the nerve to disagree with her. Summer had been naïve, thinking it wouldn’t happen to her. Thinking that she and Kendall were too close. And instead of helping Alyssa, Summer had watched it happen, just like the rest of the girls were doing now. The entire team glared at her, shaking their heads and acting like they’d never said anything bad about anyone in their lives.

Kendall had made most of the derogatory comments when she and Summer had their gossip sessions, but she doubted anyone would believe that now. Besides, she’d joined in. Guilt mixed in with the rage heating her veins.

Kendall stepped toward Summer, a smug look on her face. “Don’t bother coming back. We’ll find someone to fill your spot.”

“You can’t throw me off the team,” Summer said. “You can be mean and judgmental, say whatever you’re going to say about me, but I’m here to stay. I can dance as good as you, if not better, and I won’t be pushed around.”

Summer pushed out the gym doors, hoping the loud noise would give her the same satisfaction it had before. She wanted to feel strong. Proud that she’d just stood up for herself.

But all she really felt like doing was breaking down and crying.

By the time she’d made the drive home, she’d shed a few tears and was considering letting loose a few more. She turned up the Metric pumping through her speakers and closed her eyes. Then she realized she could cry and feel sorry for herself or she could call reinforcements.

* * *

Troy had somehow got control of the remote and flipped to one of those shows that played shocking videos. Ashlyn seemed pretty into it, too, so they watched people fall, wreck their skateboards and end up with bones sticking out at wrong angles, and suffer all sorts of other catastrophes that ended with someone holding their crotch or bleeding.

“If Nelson’s video gets enough hits, then Darren could end up on this show,” Troy said, as if that’d be the coolest thing ever. Darren, who now had a cast on his broken right hand, probably ranked higher in the social hierarchy than Summer did. The video of his death-defying leap (accidental plunge) had circulated the net, and he was obsessed with checking the comments now. They almost made him happy enough to be okay with Aaron taking his place in his upcoming chess tournament.

During the commercial break, a preview for a movie came on. The voiceover had all the normal praise that they like to pepper throughout them. One reviewer claimed it was “The best movie I’ve seen all year.”

“The best movie I’ve seen since yesterday,” Summer stated all announcer-like, mocking the preview.

“This movie has actors in it, and they say stuff,” Ashlyn said with a laugh.

Troy shook his head, but he was smiling. “You two have lost it.”

That only made Summer laugh more. Inviting over reinforcements had definitely been the right call—they’d both come, no questions asked. Since Summer still wasn’t sure what to do about her growing not-friendship feeling for Troy, she was glad to have Ashlyn there to help keep her mind off it. Though, he did look extra cute tonight.

Suddenly, the hairs on her arm pricked up, and it had nothing to do with Troy’s cuteness.

Gabriella filled in next to the television. She crossed her arms and cocked an eyebrow at Summer. “I’m glad you’re having fun, Summer Dear, but aren’t you supposed to be repairing Ashlyn’s relationship with her mom?”

Summer glanced from Gabriella, to Troy, to Ashlyn, and back to the Angel of Death. Neither of her friends seemed to notice Gabriella’s presence. In fact, now that the video clips of people getting hurt were playing again, they both had their eyes glued to the screen. Seriously? I’m the only one who sees her?

“Look, I’m trying,” Summer mouthed.

Gabriella crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

Summer rolled her eyes and turned to Ashlyn. “So? How’s your mom doing?”

“Um, weird transition, dude.” Ashlyn shifted, leaning back against the armrest of the couch. “She is how she is. Condescending whenever I’m around.”

Summer glanced at Gabriella, who wasn’t offering any advice, but rolling her finger, telling her to keep going. “But that’s how moms are. She loves you. I can see it every time I go over there.”

Ashlyn’s eyebrows drew together. “Why do you keep bringing up my mother? I want to relax and enjoy the night without thinking about her. You said mindless fun, not Topics That Make You Feel Punchy.”

“Hey, when are we all going to go surfing together?” Troy asked, veering the conversation in a completely different direction. “I still want to see Sunshine out in the water,” he said, poking her in the side.

Gabriella dropped her head in her hands and shook it. “Do something,” she said. “You keep getting way off track.”

“I think we should go on Saturday,” Ashlyn said.

“I’m still waiting,” Gabriella said, her high-pitched voice grating Summer’s last nerve.

Summer shot off the couch. “I’ll be right back.” Once she was behind the couch where Ashlyn and Troy wouldn’t see, she jerked her head toward the hall, hoping Gabriella knew that meant she wanted her to follow her.

“What are you doing?” Summer whispered as soon as they were out of view of her friends. “I’m working on it, but you being here is totally throwing me off.”

“You’re not working fast enough. Since this is your first job, I’m trying to help you.”

“She doesn’t want to talk about her mom. I’ll work on it later.”

Gabriella’s fists went to her hips again. “You keep saying that, but pretty quick, there’s not going to be a later. Think about that while you’re laughing and talking. You might be having fun, but Pamela’s going to have a lot of guilt. Ashlyn will feel unfinished as well. But it’ll be too late because you wouldn’t listen.”

Then, with no warning or goodbye, Gabriella disappeared. Even after all other traces of her were gone, her disappointed expression remained burned in Summer’s mind. Summer walked back into the living room and flopped down on the couch. Once again she’d shifted moods, going from finally happy to irreversibly frustrated.

“Are you okay?’ Troy asked. “You seem a little crazier than usual tonight.”

She shot him a dirty look. “I’m not crazy.”

“You’re a little crazy,” Ashlyn said with a smile.

“I’m perfectly sane. Now just drop it!”

Troy and Ashlyn glanced at each other, eyes wide. Summer tried to think of something to say to fix the weirdness. If only there weren’t so many thoughts screaming for her attention first. Instead of getting better, she was getting worse. In fact, she felt like she was pushing Ashlyn and her mom apart rather than together. All Summer had wanted to do was sit down and relax, but she couldn’t do that with Gabriella’s warning running through her head.

Dad poked his head into the room. “Hope I’m not interrupting, but Tiffany made some brownies earlier, and I was thinking about busting them out. We’ve got soda in the kitchen, too.”

Might as well try to fix it with sugar. “I’m in.”

“Actually, I’ve got to get going.” Ashlyn scooted to the edge of the couch and stood.

“But it’s still early,” Summer said, standing as well. “Besides, you’ve got to have a brownie first.”

“I’m good. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. And surfing Saturday.” Ashlyn pointed to Summer. “You’re in, right?”

Asking if they could all hang out with Pamela seemed like the wrong move. “I’m in.” She’d have to figure out how to work her way in after the surf session. Maybe the fact that they were spending Saturday morning exercising would open Pamela’s mind enough for Summer to make progress.

It was a big maybe, but she needed something to hold on to.

Chapter Seventeen

Summer walked across the cafeteria and sat down in her usual spot next to Marcie. “This day’s been hell.”

“The girls aren’t playing nice?” Ashlyn asked.

“That’s an understatement. I’ve been called things I’m not even sure what are, some I wished I didn’t know what were, and I feel like I’m wearing a Give Me Evil Glares sign.” Summer twisted so Marcie and Ashlyn could see her back. “I’m not, right?”

“No sign, so they must’ve passed it through the Air Heads ‘R’ Us Network earlier.”

“Okay, that? That deserves a high-five.” Summer lunged across the table and smacked Ashlyn’s hand.

Out of the corner of her eye, Summer saw Troy heading their way. Her heart beat picked up speed, each beat tripping over itself, anticipation swirling through her stomach.

Then that stupid volleyball-player girl that kept popping up everywhere cut him off. Summer shoved a handful of Cheetos in her mouth, chewing as she stared at the two of them together. “Who’s the girl Troy’s talking to?” she asked, trying to sound casual, as if jealousy wasn’t stirring in her stomach, ruining her nuclear orange lunch.

Ashlyn peeked around Summer’s head. “Not sure. Marcie, do you know who Troy’s talking to?”

Marcie craned her neck to see them. “Um, I’m pretty sure her name is Cara.”

“She’s pretty,” Summer said, wishing she wasn’t. When she’d asked Troy about Lexi, he’d said he liked someone else. No doubt Cara was the someone else. “She and Troy seem to hang out a lot. Seems like there might be something else going on there, too.”

Ashlyn raised an eyebrow. “I was wondering about you two, actually.”

“Me and Troy?”

Ashlyn nodded. “I thought I caught a vibe.”

“Anytime he’s around, there’s definitely a vibe,” Marcie said, a dreamy edge to her words. The two girls leaned in, looking like they were waiting for Summer to give them the scoop.

Lately, she got this strange tugging sensation in her heart whenever she was around Troy. Or looked at him. Or thought of him. Which she’d been doing a lot. But that was crazy. They were just friends. If they were going to be more, it would’ve happened already.

Ashlyn and Marcie were still staring, eyebrows raised.

“I just don’t want him to get a girlfriend right now,” Summer said, trying to convince herself that was all there was to it. “His last girlfriend hated me, then I started dating Cody, and Troy and I stopped hanging out. I really don’t want to go back to not hanging out.” She glanced back at Troy and Cara—still talking, ugh—then looked at Ashlyn. “Speaking of boys, how are things with Matt? Is Spanish class muy caliente?”

Ashlyn tried to act like she didn’t care, but her smile betrayed her. “I talked to him a little bit, but I keep hesitating. Because of how things happened with my last boyfriend.”

“And that was…?”

Ashlyn looked around, then whispered, “Not here. We’ll have to discuss him later.”

* * *

“So spill,” Summer said, flopping down on the bed next to Ashlyn. After practice she’d needed a friend, so she’d driven over to finish the chat they’d started over lunch. “I want to know why you’re not planning a hot date with Matt.”

“Okay, so I told you how my last boyfriend kept pressuring me to have sex.”

Summer nodded. “Yeah. I got that feeling, anyway, though you didn’t exactly spell it out.”

“I wasn’t sure I was ready for the next step, but he definitely was. It wasn’t like I had other boys knocking down my door either, so I went ahead and had sex with him, thinking I had to get it over with sometime.”

“And how was it?”

“Well, it was a bit awkward at first. Mother’s made me plenty paranoid about my body, so I was mostly terrified about that. But you know, once we got going, it was nice.” Ashlyn’s cheeks turned pink and she suddenly became very interested in a fuzzy piece of lint on her bedspread. “And it was even better the next time. But then we broke up a few weeks later, and I felt used. It seemed like he was only in it for that one thing, got what he wanted, and then I was history. I wish I would’ve been stronger, like you were.”

“Like at the party when I almost kissed Cody? Obviously, I’m not that strong.” Summer covered Ashlyn’s hand with hers. “And you’re stronger than you think. When I first tried to hang out with you and the rest of The Misfits, you set me straight. You made sure to let me know I couldn’t mess with your friends.”

Ashlyn wrinkled her nose. “I was kind of mean.”

“But you had a good reason. I admire you. You’re strong, but sometimes”—Summer bumped her shoulder into Ashlyn’s—“you’ve got to be willing to put yourself out there.”

“You think I should go for Matt?”

“I do. But actually, I’m talking about your mom. Tell her how you feel.”

Ashlyn frowned. “Why are you so obsessed with making things right with me and my mom?”

“I guess it’s because I don’t have my mom here to talk to anymore.” The familiar ache rose up. She hadn’t really realized it before, but now she’d said it, she realized there was truth to it.

Ashlyn’s face dropped. “I’m sorry, Summer. I didn’t think about it like that. I swear, I’ll try to give my mother a break. Just for you.”

Summer smiled, thrilled she’d made progress. Where was Gabriella now? Strike that; she didn’t want her to come barging in right now. She’d only say it wasn’t good enough.

“Oh, I love this song.” Ashlyn jumped up, using her thumb for a microphone and belting out the words along with the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs.

Summer joined in and they danced and sang around the room. By the chorus, Summer was laughing too hard to continue singing. She dropped onto Ashlyn’s bed and grinned at her friend. “You know what’s so awesome about you?”

“Everything?” Ashlyn asked with a laugh, then sat next to Summer. “Kidding, of course.”

“No, you’re right. It’s everything. But I especially love that we could be doing absolutely nothing and I still have a blast. I’m going to go ahead and get all gushy. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Ashlyn broke into a wide, open smile. “Aw, thanks. You’re my best friend, too.”

Warmth filled Summer’s chest as she returned Ashlyn’s smile. Then came the painful, lung-crushing realization that her best friend was going to die.

Chapter Eighteen

Troy walked up beside Summer and stuck his surfboard in the sand. Water dripped from his hair and eyelashes. “You’re doing pretty good out there, Sunshine.”

Summer tipped her head forward and wrung the water out of her hair. “I feel like I got worked over. You and Ashlyn caught tons of waves, and all I did was flail around in the water. I think I’m actually getting worse. I kinda thought if I could replace dancing with surfing, I could quit the dance team.”

“Things still that bad?”

“Nothing I can’t handle. But let’s just say they’re far from pleasant.”

Ashlyn walked over to them, surfboard tucked under her arm. “So, my house is the closest, but my mother only makes egg white omelets.”

Troy jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “There’s a breakfast place on the corner that’s really good. It’s cheap, tastes good, and even better, they give you tons of food. I say we go there.”

They secured their surfboards on Ashlyn’s car and slipped T-shirts and shorts over the top of their wet swimsuits. The day had hit eighty degrees—warm for mid-October, and perfect for playing in the ocean.

As they made their way down the boardwalk, Summer drifted left. There was a large crowd in that direction, but it was like her feet didn’t belong to her anymore. This was the only direction she could possibly go. She scanned faces as they parted around her, trying to figure out who or what was compelling her. As she came out of the larger group, there was a dark-haired man who refused to move one way or the other, simply striding toward her. Sure he was going to plow into her, Summer started to move to the side. The man stepped directly in front of her. She moved the other way at the same time he did.

They stood in limbo for a minute before he reached out and gripped her shoulder. “Choose a way already.”

“Get out of my house!” a gray-haired lady shouts.

The man turns, arms loaded with electronics. The outline of a gun is visible under his shirt, where it’s tucked into his pants. He drops the items to reach for his weapon. The lady already has a gun in her hand. She whips it up and fires, once. Twice. The impact sends him back into the counter. He slides down to the floor, leaving a bloody trail as he gasps for air.

Blood pools around his body, his limp arms flop to the floor, and a wet, strangled noise escapes his mouth.

Then he stops breathing altogether.

“Back off,” Troy said, pushing his way between Summer and the man.

He turned his angry gaze on Troy. “You kids need to get out of my way.”

Paralyzed by what she’d seen, Summer couldn’t do anything but stare for a moment. Her gaze drifted to the place she’d seen the gun. There, underneath the man’s shirt, was the outline of the weapon. Summer grabbed Troy’s arm. “Just let it go.” Her voice came out so shaky, she was worried Troy didn’t hear.

The man glared at her for a second. Then he pushed past her and Troy and charged down the sidewalk.

“You okay?” Troy asked, two creases forming between his eyebrows. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Almost. He’ll be a ghost soon.

Ashlyn stopped in front of her. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

Summer shook her head. Two in a matter of weeks? Most of the time she went months between occurrences. And while Gabriella scolded her for trying to save the guy she bumped into in North Park, Summer didn’t want to warn the man she’d just encountered. She wanted him to get what was coming to him. Still, she worried she should call the cops to make sure the elderly lady was okay.

What would I say, though? I think there’s going to be a break-in somewhere near the beach. Get the bad guy so the old woman doesn’t have to. Feeling like she might vomit, Summer folded over, squeezing her eyes closed. The world was still spinning, so she dropped to her knees.

Troy and Ashlyn crouched down next to her.

Troy cupped her cheek, his hand warm against her skin. “Tell me what you need.”

Where to even begin? She needed the world to stop spinning. To not see people die. To not know that Ashlyn was going to. Summer took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I think I just need some food. I’m hungry, and it’s making me light headed.” She forced herself to her feet. “How far is this place?”

Troy put his arm around her waist to steady her and pointed to the blue building on the corner. “It’s right there.”

Summer was almost sure she could make it.

* * *

“Hey listen to this,” Dad said, calling Summer into the living room. “This guy tried to rob a little old lady, but she shot him when he reached for his gun. They think he’s been responsible for several break-ins down in the PB area.”

It was too big of a coincidence to be just that.

Summer sat on the couch and Dad un-paused the television.

“A man was shot today when he tried to rob an elderly resident,” the news anchor said, and the footage cut to one of their reporters. He held his microphone up to the gray-haired woman from Summer’s vision, and ice spread through Summer’s veins.

“I heard something downstairs,” the woman said. “So I called 911 and got my gun. When I saw the man reach for his weapon, I fired.”

“That’s one tough lady,” the anchor commented when they cut back to him. “Cops arrived on the scene and took the body away. No charges will be pressed against the woman for defending herself…”

“That’s crazy, huh?” Dad said, turning the volume down a couple of clicks. “Maybe more criminals will think twice before they go take whatever they want now.”

“Yeah crazy,” Summer said, unable to take her eyes off the screen. He deserved it, she told herself over and over, trying to convince herself she’d done the right thing. A shudder went through her body. A cold so cold it burned, took hold of her insides. You’d think she’d be used to it by now. How do you get used to death, though? To seeing it happen before it really happens?

The answer was simple.

You don’t.

Chapter Nineteen

Bumping into someone with a dark soul brought on the worst nightmares Summer had ever experienced. For two nights she saw montages of gruesome deaths. Blood, gasping for air, dead eyes. If that wasn’t bad enough, the nightmares last night featured Ashlyn dying in every possible way.

So, as Summer sat at lunch on Monday, looking across the table at Ashlyn, her mind kept flashing to those images of her friend’s body, devoid of color and life.

Ashlyn took a sip of her Diet Coke and set it back on the table with a clink. “I had a genius idea. I know living at home when I go to college would be the cheaper way to go, since San Diego State is only a couple miles from my house, but I can’t wait to get out on my own.” She picked the tomatoes out of her sandwich and tossed them off to the side. “I was thinking that you and I should find a place and move in together. We’ll surf, even study on the rare occasion, and it’ll be a blast. What do you think?”

Summer thought about how much fun they’d have living together and about how nice it would be to meet people and go everywhere with Ash by her side. Since meeting Ashlyn, Summer didn’t feel so lost anymore. Little by little, she felt like the person she used to be. The person who laughed easily and was comfortable with who she was. The person who stood up for herself and wouldn’t keep going back to a boyfriend who didn’t treat her right. She’d missed this girl, and she didn’t want to go back to the way things had been before getting to know Ashlyn.

Most of all, she didn’t want Ashlyn to die. A giant lump formed in her throat. “It sounds like so much fun that I wish it was now.” Tears were threatening, and Summer blinked, trying to keep them from spilling. She knew she should tell Ashlyn to make her life worthwhile now. Tell her to go spend time with her mom. But she couldn’t force out the words without having a complete breakdown.

Summer stood so quickly her thighs slammed into the table and scooted it a couple inches. “I just remembered I have to go do something before my next class. I’ll see you later, okay?”

She charged out of the cafeteria and headed to the quieter part of campus. Her knees felt like they were going to give way, and her heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. She reached out and steadied herself on the brick exterior of the band room. Warm tears slid down her cheeks. She crumpled to the ground, hugged her knees into her chest, and dropped her head on them. Then she went ahead and let go of all the emotions she’d been fighting back for days.

Losing Mom was bad enough. Why do I have to lose Ashlyn, too?

Grief and despair tore at her heart, making it impossible to breathe. She knew all too well what it was like to lose someone she loved. It had sent her into depression and made her numb for months. She couldn’t do it again. The hurt never quite healed, either. Not all the way.

The door near her opened, and she buried her head deeper, hoping whoever it was would ignore her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. “What are you doing here, Sunshine?”

Not Troy. Anyone but him. She sensed him sit down next to her.

“What’s going on?” he asked. “Is it Kendall and the rest of the girls? Are they getting to you?”

Unable to answer, she shook her head. There was no answer anyway. Nothing she could explain. Well you see our friend Ashlyn is going to die and she’s a good person. And instead of making sure her death is filled with peace for her and her loved ones, I’m so selfish that I’m out here crying because I need her here with me.

That thought made her start crying all over again.

Troy draped his arm around her shoulders and she rolled toward him, crying against his shoulder. “You want me to go get Ashlyn?” he asked.

“No.” Her voice came out muffled, since her face was still buried in his shirt.

“You want to ditch the rest of school?”

Summer sniffed, struggling to get her emotions under control. “Yes, but I can’t. If I miss dance practice, the girls will kick me off for sure. And I don’t even want to think of the lecture I’d get from my dad.”

For a couple minutes they sat in silence. Summer kept her head against Troy’s shoulder as he ran his fingers up and down her back. It still felt like she had a rock in her gut, but with Troy next to her, everything seemed the tiniest bit better. The tears tapered off, and her breathing gradually returned to normal.

When Troy spoke, his voice was soft. “You want to go to a show tonight? There’s this band called Crusifictorious from Texas, and they’re supposed to be decent.”

“That sounds good. I’ll see if Ashlyn wants to come, too.” Summer lifted her head. The place was deserted, which meant she was already late for her next class. “Man, I’m a mess.” She straightened up and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Maybe I could help if you told me what’s going on.”

“You already helped.” Summer stood, offered a hand to Troy, and pulled him to his feet. When she went to let go, he kept hold of her hand.

“Summer.” He so rarely said her name that hearing it from his lips pinned her in place, goose bumps scattering across her skin.

“Music will help,” she said when she finally found her voice again. “You always being there helps. That’s what I need the most right now.” She squeezed his hand, and this time he let her release it. “I’ll pick you up after I get done with practice.”

Troy reached into his jacket pocket and produced a pair of sunglasses. “Want these?”

Summer took them and put them on. They felt huge. “How do they look?”

The glasses slid down, and Troy pushed them back up on her nose. “You look like the Terminator.”

I feel like the Terminator. Not so much the tough part, but the killing part. The smile she gave him was weak, but it was the best she could manage right now. “I’ll see you tonight.”

* * *

The door to Ashlyn’s house swung open, revealing Pamela. “Hello, Summer. I’ll get Ashlyn.”

Summer bit her lip, shifting her feet from side to side. “Um, actually, could I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure. You need some advice on how to tone up those arms?”

Summer glanced at her arms, suddenly self-conscious of them. Then she remembered her mission. “You know, I used to judge people too harshly. The more open I am, the more I find out how many good people there are. It doesn’t matter what they look like, doesn’t matter if their interests are different than yours. You miss out if you don’t take the time to really get to know people.”

A crease formed between Pamela’s eyebrows as she looked at Summer. “Well, good for you then. For…figuring that out.”

“Ashlyn is one of the best people I’ve ever known. Her heart is gold. Your daughter is awesome.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“I do think so.” Before her determination faltered, Summer straightened and plowed on with the rest. “But I also think she needs to hear it more. You letting her know how awesome she is would mean a lot, I know it would.”

Pamela’s nostrils flared. “I’m responsible for keeping her safe and making sure she’s got the best life possible. I always compliment her when she eats well and exercises. And I reward her when she gets good grades. I take care of my daughter.”

Pulse pounding through her head, Summer met Pamela’s gaze. “Yeah, but you’re overlooking who she is as a person. She’s funny, sweet, and fiercely protective of her friends. She needs you to see who she is.”

Anger flickered through Pamela’s eyes. “We all express ourselves differently, and I don’t need you to tell me how to talk to my daughter.” Looking over her shoulder, she raised her voice. “Ashlyn, Summer’s here!” Without another glance at Summer, Pamela walked away, leaving her standing in the empty doorway.

So much for being a natural at this job.

* * *

Troy walked across his yard and hopped in the backseat of the Civic. “What is this awful music?” he asked as they drove away.

“It’s good.” Summer turned it up, knowing how much Troy hated dance music.

“They say the same lyrics like five hundred times. The music is all computer generated—not even real music—meaning they’re not even real musicians. I still can’t believe you listen to this garbage.”

“But you can do this to it.” Summer danced as much as she could while driving.

Ashlyn laughed and danced along. “She’s right. It is good for dancing.”

“You’re going to wreck dancing to this,” Troy said.

“Nope. We’ve got to stop at this light.” Summer threw her car in park and made her dance moves bigger. “I’m not moving until you join in.” She twisted toward Troy. “Come on, Mister Bond. Dance.”

He rolled his eyes, then made a sorry, mini-throw-his-arms-up attempt at a dance move. “There. Are you happy?”

“Very.” Summer noticed they’d caught the attention of the car next to them. “Those guys are staring at you, Ash.”

“Still staring?” Ashlyn asked, her eyes on the road in front of her.

“Uh-huh.”

In one swift movement, Ashlyn twisted, flattening herself against the window. The guys in the car jumped. Summer laughed at their priceless wide-eyed expressions. The light turned green, and she shifted into drive and accelerated through the intersection. “You’re so awesome, Ash.”

“I know, right? There’s nothing quite like giving a bunch of frat boys a heart attack at a stoplight.”

Summer glanced at Troy in the rearview mirror. “Now, since you showed us your awesome dance moves, Mister Bond, I’ll find a happy medium. Music you can dance to that’s still genuine music.” She switched to her Paramore playlist and continued bobbing her head—as hard as it was not to go all out and do a little head banging, she’d promised both Gabriella and Dad she wouldn’t get into any more trouble with the cops.

The parking lot of Equinox was surprisingly full for a Monday night. Summer finally managed to find a parking space, and they headed inside the club. “I can’t believe how crowded it is,” Summer said as they squeezed in with the rest of the people waiting for the show.

They forced their way to the front as the band took the stage. An electric guitar rung out, one note, then another. Drums mixed in, slow at first before gradually picking up speed. A pale kid with a lot of freckles and red hair stepped up to the microphone. Everything sped up, including the lights swinging around the room.

Then there was only the music and the energy hanging in the air, seeping into her skin until it was pumping through her veins as well.

In the middle of the second song, Troy leaned in. “So, what do you think?” he shouted over the music.

“Why are they yelling at me?” Summer shouted back.

“I think that’s supposed to be singing.”

“Oh,” she said with a laugh. “That explains a lot.”

Troy put his hand on the small of Summer’s back and his warm breath hit her neck. “But look at the drummer. He’s really good.”

The drummer’s arms flung through the air in lightning fast movements, and he had this intense look of concentration on his face.

“He’s cute, too,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s why I pointed him out,” Troy said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Summer gave him a side hug, wrapping one arm around his waist. “Thanks for getting me out tonight. Practice was hell again and I needed this. Even if the lead singer is yelling at me.”

Troy smiled down at her, and her heart jumped into her throat. The lights turned his skin colors. Red, green, blue. Glimpses of every shade of Troy, and they all looked good. The song ended, and the world seemed to stop, just her and Troy, standing in the middle of the floor.

Ashlyn grabbed Summer’s free hand. “I’m in dire need of a Diet Coke.”

Before Summer could figure out if she and Troy were having a moment, she was yanked away and being tugged through the crowd. A tall guy bumped into her, and Summer tightened her grip on Ashlyn’s hand so she wouldn’t get lost in the sea of people.

When they came out into an open area, there he was.

Cody’s eyes met hers before she could decide whether to say hi or hurry away.

“Just a second.” Summer pulled Ashlyn toward her ex-boyfriend. It seemed like a good idea to say hi, but now that she was standing in front of him, it was more awkward than anything. “Hey. What are you doing here?”

Cody stared at her for a moment, brows drawn low over his eyes. Then he gestured to the guy standing next to him. “This is my brother, Tyler. He’s in town for a few days, so we decided to catch a show.”

Summer nodded at his brother, who had the same blue eyes, blond hair, and handsome features as Cody. She knew Tyler played football for a college somewhere—Arizona? New Mexico? Somewhere cactusy. She never could remember. “Nice to meet you.” She waved an arm at Ashlyn. “Um, you know Ashlyn right?”

Cody looked at Ashlyn, his eyebrows pulling together even more. She couldn’t quite place the strange expression on his face. It was similar to the one he made when memorizing confusing football plays. “You were at Kendall’s party,” he said to Ashlyn. “And you and Summer have been hanging out a lot lately.”

“What can I say? She can’t get enough of me,” Ashlyn said. “I make sure she knows how awesome she is, too, so she won’t settle for someone who’s not good enough for her.” She gave him a tight smile. “Just in case you were wondering.” She motioned to the bar. “Let’s get our Cokes before the show starts again.”

Summer waved to Cody and followed Ashlyn to the bar.

Ashlyn finally got a hold of a bartender and ordered three Diet Cokes.

“I didn’t feel anything,” Summer said as they waited for their drinks. “Well, I mean the holy-crap-this-is-awkward feeling—he was acting a little strange. But I’m completely over Cody.”

“Right on, because I can’t step in and save you from him forever.” Ashlyn grinned at Summer, and Summer tried to smile back. Too many supposed-to-be-funny comments were just not funny knowing what she knew.

Chapter Twenty

The next morning Summer dug through her drawers and found the old clothes she used to love—the stuff she wore before it seemed so important to fit in with the in crowd. Not only was it nice to not care if the other girls would approve, but her old clothes were also comfy.

Steeling herself for another day in the trenches, she walked through the double doors of the school and headed for her locker. Kendall and several of the other girls from the dance team stood in a circle in the hall. Kendall narrowed her eyes on Summer as she approached. “Did you get dressed in the dark?”

The girls around Kendall all wore the same we’re-so-much-better-than-you expression Kendall had on.

“Uh-huh.” Summer found if she didn’t give them anything more, these conversations—more like attacks—went better. As long as she acted unfazed by their verbal jabs, they’d eventually get bored and give up.

“I can tell,” Kendall said. “You’ve really gone downhill without my influence.”

Summer grabbed her books out of her locker and turned to walk away. Cody stood there, blocking her path. Thanks to the verbal jabs being thrown at her already, her patience was wearing thin. “What do you want?”

“I figured out something last night.” Cody tilted his head as he studied her. “Why you and me didn’t work, and why you were always pushing me away. You’re into chicks. You and that Ashlyn girl are dating.”

Summer stared at him, thinking he was going to say he was only kidding. Instead, he stood there, brow furrowed, waiting for her response. “Um, no we’re not,” she said. “We were just hanging out. We’re friends.”

“You were holding hands.”

“No wonder you always stared in the girls’ locker room,” Kendall said from behind Summer. “You were checking us all out. All those times I changed in front of you.” She threw a hand to her chest. “I feel so violated.”

Summer rolled her eyes and looked back to Cody. “Did it ever occur to you that I just have high standards?”

“Hey, I don’t mind that you’re a lesbian. I’m cool with it.” Cody cocked an eyebrow. “In fact, I’d like to watch you two make-out sometime. I think you owe me that much after stringing me along for so long.”

Summer felt an arm around her waist and turned to see it was Troy. He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. She automatically gripped his shoulder as he pulled her tighter to him, his hand spread on the small of her back, and parted her mouth with his. Heat wound through her body, and the rest of the world faded away. She forgot how to breathe, or why she needed oxygen anyway.

Then he pulled back, leaving her stomach with that just-stepped-off-a-roller-coaster feeling. He grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “Come on, Sunshine. I’ll walk you to class.” He led her away from the shocked faces lining the hall. It was a good thing he was holding her hand, because she was shocked, too. So much so, she could hardly walk.

They rounded the corner, and Troy turned to face her, their bodies so close she could feel the warmth coming off of him. “You okay?”

Words didn’t come, so Summer simply nodded.

“I hope I didn’t just unwittingly put you back in the closet. I wanted to prove you rejected him because he’s a loser. Plus, just yesterday you were talking about the drummer being cute, so I assumed…”

“You assumed right,” she said. “I think Cody just can’t believe that any girl could resist his charms. So I guess when he saw me with Ashlyn last night—”

“Last night?”

“Cody was at the Crusifictorius show with his brother. I said hi, then Ashlyn and I took off. I guess he decided that meant I was with her. Like with her, with her.” Summer shook her head. “Oh well, I don’t really care what they think anymore. I guess as far as rumors go, that one’s not that bad. I suppose it won’t land me many dates, but that’s not something I’m too concerned about right now.” She realized she was still holding Troy’s hand, and that she didn’t want to let go of it. “Thanks for getting me away from them.”

“No problem.” He glanced around. “I’ve got to jet, but I’ll see you later?”

She nodded. “Later.”

Butterflies swirled through her stomach as she watched him walk away. Nope, she definitely wasn’t into girls. All she could think about was that kiss and how much she wanted to kiss him again.

* * *

The day went from horrible to awesome, back to horrible. At practice, Lexi called her a backstabbing whore because she’d obviously stolen Troy. Yeah, it was real classy. Then Kendall joined in with the insults. She and Summer had exchanged insults, and Kendall demanded her things back, which apparently included items she’d given Summer as gifts.

Instead of lingering on that, she decided to rewind back to this morning, when Troy had kissed her. Thinking about it made her pulse quicken and her heart flutter. She was definitely grinning like an idiot, too. But she told herself not to read too much into it. They’d been friends for so long. Yes, she had liked him in the beginning, before she found out about his girlfriend and things had gotten messy. But he was flirty by nature and had even said he was trying to help her out.

I feel like things have been shifting lately, though. She wanted to believe there was more to that kiss, but he certainly didn’t act like it meant anything to him. And I was so shocked I just kinda stood there. Great. He probably thinks I’m a crappy kisser now.

Summer unlocked the front door and tossed her keys off to the side. “Dad? Are you home?”

No answer.

She moved into the kitchen and saw a chocolate cheesecake on the counter, a couple of slices missing. There were also dirty dishes in the sink—it looked like Dad and Tiffany had come and gone. Summer grabbed a fork and dug into the dessert. Something about eating it right out of the pan made her feel happy and desperate at the same time.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she pulled it out. Ashlyn’s name lit up the display, so she swallowed the giant bite of food in her mouth. “Hey,” she choked out. Man, that cheesecake was rich.

Sobs greeted her first. “I…” Ashlyn sniffed. “Can you come over?”

Summer froze, hand wrapped around the glass she was pulling out of the cupboard. “Are you okay?”

“I just need a friend.”

“I’ll be there as fast as I can.” Summer grabbed a cold Dr. Pepper out of the fridge instead of bothering with a glass. On her way out the door, she texted Dad. As long as he knew where she was, he was pretty understanding. She noticed he was even more understanding since she was no longer spending time with Cody.

The desire to speed to Ashlyn’s was strong, but the last thing she needed was another ticket. After what seemed like twice the normal time it took to usually get there, Summer pulled up to the beige rancher.

When her best friend opened the door, her eyes were rimmed in red. Since Summer had recently taken to crying all the time, she knew the look all too well. “What happened?” she asked.

“My mother and I got into a huge fight.”

Summer’s heart dropped. So many bumps already lined the road to Ashlyn and her mom’s reconciliation. “What about?”

“She found out I was taking these diet pills. I thought she’d be happy.”

“You’re taking diet pills?” Summer hardly recognized her own voice, it was so high. “Those are so dangerous.”

Ashlyn crossed her arms. “Now you sound like my mother. I should’ve known you wouldn’t understand. You don’t have to work to be skinny.”

“Ash, I’m sorry,” she said. “I just don’t want you to do anything that would harm your body.”

“Seriously, did my mother call and run lines with you?”

Summer took a deep breath, working to find the right response. “Okay, you vent. I’ll listen. Just let it all out.”

“Let’s go to my room.” Once they got to Ashlyn’s room, she talked about how hard she’d worked to lose weight and how she’d turned to the diet pills when she got desperate. “So Mother found them in my purse and had a conniption. She said all the stuff you did, claiming they weren’t safe, and that she wanted me to lose weight the healthy way, not the cheating way. I told her that the healthy way wasn’t working, then she said it was because I was lazy.” Tears filled Ashlyn’s eyes and her voice rose a couple octaves. “That I wasn’t trying hard enough.”

“That’s where my opinion is different,” Summer said. “You’re not lazy. I know that for a fact. You drag my butt into the water on a regular basis, and I can hardly keep up.”

Ashlyn shook her head. “I wheeze the whole time, though. I thought if I could get some of the weight off, exercising wouldn’t be such a pain and I could finish the so-called healthy way.”

“Seriously, I think you’re fabulous the way you are.”

“That’s because you’re skinny. It’s easy for you to say because no one’s ever called you fat. My own mother does.”

Summer felt her blood pressure slowly rising. “She said you’re fat?”

“She doesn’t have to say it. She says it with her actions and her disappointed expressions. With every low-fat meal she shoves at me and every pointed mention of exercise.”

Summer locked eyes with Ashlyn, wanting to be sure this came across. “When I look at you, I see my best friend. I never even thought it was possible to be so close to someone in such a short time. To me, that’s more important than anything else. And I honestly think you’re beautiful just the way you are.”

“What did you think when you first met me, though?”

“I thought that I really wanted to get to know you.” It was an honest answer, but only halfway honest. Summer had judged Ashlyn—had thought about her weight. That memory slapped her across the face now. “I know I’ve been judgmental before. A few months ago, I might’ve even joined in with the other girls to make fun of Darren and Aaron—probably the whole group—and I’m ashamed of that. I decided to change who I was, and I hope I’m doing that. I know I won’t be perfect, that I’ll occasionally slip. But I want to make it clear again that I think you’re really pretty. Obviously Matt does, too.”

Ashlyn studied Summer a moment before giving her half a smile. “So you don’t regret your decision to join The Misfits?”

“Not for a second. Earlier today at practice, I even told Kendall that I’d rather be in the Reject Group, knowing that they have my back, than have fake friends who turn on me. If anything, I regret my decision to ever get caught up with her group in the first place. I’m not going to lie, certain aspects were nice, but I think I lost myself along the way. So much so, that I didn’t remember who I really was until I met you.” The memory of Aaron and Darren trying to teach her how to play chess today at lunch hit her, and she smiled. “Until I learned more about chess than I ever wanted to know.”

Ashlyn’s smile deepened. “Who knew such a cool girl was hidden among the snobby airheads?”

“I’d say something about that, but I’m trying not to be judgmental. So I’ll just say that I’m sure somewhere deep down, there are good things about those girls, too.”

“Wow, how very politically correct of you.” Ashlyn leaned back against the headboard of her bed. “You really told Kendall that you’d rather be in the Reject Group?”

“I did. I didn’t bother telling her that we prefer the title The Misfits. I’ll have to throw that in some other time.”

“I would’ve loved to see her face. I bet no one’s ever stood up to her before. That’s why she’s so mad.”

“It’s sad, though,” Summer said, and the wall she’d worked to build up around her heart cracked a bit. “Kendall and I used to be friends. Maybe not on the same level you and I are, but I never thought it would get this bad.”

“I’m glad you don’t give in and go back to them. That’s what most people would’ve done.”

Another wave of guilt crashed into Summer. If Gabriella hadn’t pushed her, would she have gone back? She certainly hoped not. At least she knew she wouldn’t ever go back now. And not just because Kendall wouldn’t let her.

Summer picked a stray thread off Ashlyn’s bedspread, not wanting to fight anymore, but not willing to let it go. “Now, I know this might make you mad, but as your friend, I’m going to go ahead and say it anyway. Your mom, as many faults as she might have, proved she loved you tonight. Even if it was in a slightly twisted and offensive way. That’s progress, right?”

Ashlyn heaved a sigh. “I guess. But really, really little progress.”

“When you cool off, you should tell her you appreciate her concern.”

“Let’s not get crazy. The woman did call me lazy.”

Something told Summer not to push. Not right now. “So are you gonna put on some tunes or what? I’m ready to dance it out.”

Ashlyn pushed herself to her feet. Like Summer, she bought mostly CDs so she could have the inserts that came in them. There was just something about holding the lyrics. “Oh, I know. I’ll blast My Chemical Romance. Mother hates it.”

So much for progress.

Chapter Twenty-One

Troy stood in front of his locker, looking as cute as ever. Possibly even cuter than normal. His gaze was on the book in his hands, his eyebrows drawn together. His lips—the same lips he’d pressed against hers yesterday—were pursed in concentration.

Usually she’d stroll right up and start talking, no thought about how she looked or if she’d sound stupid. Oh holy crap, I have no idea what to say to him now. She almost chickened out and fled the scene, but then she told herself he’d helped her out yesterday. So no matter how awkward, she needed to go talk to him. And try to figure out if the attraction was one-sided, which would totally suck. Even though she’d decided to approach him, her feet remained planted.

Just get it over already. Her heart picked up speed as she approached him, beating so fast she was slightly dizzy. “Good morning, Mister Bond.”

Why did my voice come out all squeaky? Two seconds in, and I’m already a wreck.

Troy flashed her a smile and draped his arm over her shoulders. “Hey, Sunshine. Are things better or worse today?”

“Well, I’m not sure. Yesterday’s practice was sorta like dance team gone rabid. Apparently Lexi’s decided that I’m the reason you didn’t keep going out with her.”

“She can definitely keep that blame all to herself.” Troy walked toward their classroom, keeping her next to him. “So you’re saying I made things worse?”

“No, I think your stunt was enough to at least keep Ashlyn out of the rumors. I’m sure they’ll come up with much more insulting things to spread around about me soon, though.”

“So you don’t need me to be your pretend boyfriend anymore?”

She looked at him, the words I need you to be my real one on the tip of her tongue. She wasn’t that bold, though. Just give me a hint. Something that says you want to be more than friends.

“Hey, Troy!” a guy yelled across the hall.

Troy gave the guy the nod. “What’s up, Tiny?”

Tiny? The guy had light brown skin and an eyebrow piercing, was built like a linebacker, and had the deepest voice she’d ever heard in the halls of school. Calling him Tiny seemed like a good way to get punched in the face.

“Need to talk to you,” Tiny said, jerking his head toward a less crowded area.

Troy dropped his arm from Summer’s shoulders. “I’ll catch up with you in a second. Make sure no one takes my seat.”

In other words, you need me to get lost. As Summer turned to walk into chemistry alone, her chest tightened. Why oh why, hadn’t she said she needed a pretend boyfriend for a little while? Maybe the pretend part could drop off in time. After seeing him again today, she knew what she hadn’t admitted to herself last night. She was already crazy about Troy, on the verge of getting hurt all over again if it went badly. And of course now she was only more curious about his extracurricular activities.

What exactly is he doing that makes him so popular with everyone, that he also wants kept a secret?

Before lunch, Summer walked up to Troy, determined to figure him out. “How were your last few classes?”

“Boring. I prefer chemistry where I have you to talk to.” He tugged on her broken belt loop. “I like your pants, by the way. I see you’re taking this whole rebel thing very seriously.”

Purple paint from when she and Mom had painted Summer’s bedroom back in Chicago was splattered across the denim, and both knees had huge holes with white fringe hanging down the sides. “These used to be my favorite jeans. I still can’t find any that fit this good, so I can’t bear to throw them away. Honestly, it’s more of a sign of needing to do laundry than rebellion, though.”

Another tug on her belt loop. “Well, whatever the reason, I say go with it.” He glanced at the large clock hanging on the cafeteria wall. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll catch you later.”

He turned to leave and she couldn’t hold it in anymore. “It seems you’re always rushing off, like you’re late to your underground resistance meeting or something.”

He threw his fist up. “Viva la resistance,” he said with a laugh. “Did you need something else before I go? You have another problem I can help you with?”

“Don’t you get sick of helping me with my problems?” she asked.

“No.” He stepped closer, and he was studying her so closely that heat crept into her neck, across her cheeks. Now she felt stupid. “I’m happy to help. Whatever you need. You know that.”

It took her a couple of seconds to find her voice again, but she figured now was as good a time as any to get answers. “Do you get sick of me?”

He frowned. “Why would you think that?”

“I just want to make sure.” Summer couldn’t figure him out. Sometimes he seemed to be all about her; other times he was in a huge hurry to get away. If he was as interested in her as she was in him, he’d want to stay, right? Or was she being needy? Ugh, liking him was making everything too complicated. Maybe she should just leave it as friends and forget about the kiss. Her gaze automatically drifted to his lips.

He put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not trying to get away from you, I swear. But I really do have to go.”

“Okay, later then.” Frustration filled her as he walked away, and she wondered how she was going to get control over her sudden, overwhelming feelings for him on top of everything else.

Unfortunately, some problems you just have to fix yourself.

* * *

Clothes lay in piles all around Summer’s room, and she decided the laundry couldn’t wait any longer. Mrs. Crawford had sent her to the office earlier today. Apparently, the school has a dress code they sporadically enforce, and ripped jeans happened to be on the bad list. If she didn’t do her laundry, she’d have to wear the ripped jeans again, along with the kitty shirt Dad had bought her when she was in junior high. The other girls from the team had plenty of ammunition to throw at her already without adding a shirt that had never been cool in the first place.

She gathered her clothes into a giant heap and scooped as many items in her arms as she could carry. She spun around to take them to the laundry room.

And found herself face-to-face with Gabriella.

“Holy crap!” The clothes dropped to the floor as Summer threw her hand over her heart. “Could you give a girl a little warning? I’m going to die of a heart attack before I can help anyone else.”

Gabriella cocked a brow. “I assumed you could sense it better. And I don’t like that saying, by the way. There’s no such thing as holy…most anything you people put after it, but especially not that.”

“Well, my mom said it all the time.”

“I hated it when she said it, too. In fact, she used the more profane version for years. I finally got her to break that, but she only swapped it for crap. Not much better, if you ask me.”

Summer stared at Gabriella as the impact of the words hit her. “Wait? You knew my mom?”

Gabriella’s eyes widened. “I… You see…” She sighed. “Yes, I knew her. Under normal circumstances, mothers are the ones who train their daughters for their Cipher jobs. But yours…ran out of time.”

Summer tried to get words out, but it took her a few seconds of unintelligible squeaks before she finally succeeded. “Why didn’t you mention that before?”

“It’s not easy, trying to figure out how much I can tell you. What will push you over the edge, what’s helpful and what’s not. I planned on mentioning it later, after you finished your job with Ashlyn, because I was afraid talking about your mother might slow you down. And honestly, dear, you’re working way too slowly already.”

“You didn’t think it might help me?”

Gabriella leaned a hip against the dresser. “You already had a hard time believing it all, and I was fairly certain bringing her into it would result in anger and most likely being called a liar. Plus, I know it’s a sensitive subject for you, and I didn’t want to make this more difficult.”

As much as she wanted to argue, Summer was still having trouble wrapping her mind around it. Gabriella knew Mom. But how? And when? And why didn’t she ever say anything?

“Wait. If she was supposed to train me, that must mean she was a Cipher, too.”

Gabriella nodded. “Her first case was shortly after her nineteenth birthday. Debra was a natural. In a matter of minutes, she’d get people to agree to whatever she wanted them to do.”

“She was good like that,” Summer said. “I remember when she talked me into wearing pigtails the first day of fourth grade, even though I argued I was too old. She also convinced me to help her teach some of the people at the nursing home to square dance—that ended up being pretty fun actually.” She smiled at all the things Mom had persuaded her to do.

As always, the other images involving Mom followed. The man with the gun. The aftermath. All that had happened because Summer couldn’t get her to stay.

Sorrow was reaching its long tentacles up, wrapping around her heart. But then she realized she’d never gotten a goodbye, and all the pieces didn’t quite make a complete picture. “I don’t understand. If my mom did this job, why didn’t anyone tell her to say goodbye to me and Dad before she left?”

“It’s complicated,” Gabriella said.

“Well uncomplicated it.”

“Another time. I came to talk about your case.”

Summer crossed her arms. “I’m not talking about my case unless you tell me why mom never said goodbye.”

“Oh, Summer Dear, you’re my most high-maintenance Cipher. I know you don’t have the training and that you’re young, but you want to know everything before you know anything.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Summer said. Gabriella’s answers were always so infuriating, and she couldn’t hold back her frustration anymore. “Maybe if you stopped talking in code, you’d have time to explain. Or maybe it means you’ve got the wrong girl. Just because my mom was a Cipher doesn’t mean I can do it. Give it to someone else. I think I’m doing more damage than good anyway.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you about your mother earlier.” Gabriella glanced at her watch and started talking at lightning speed. “Like I keep saying, no one else can help Ashlyn. Your mom’s mom was a Cipher, and her mom before that. The Cipher job is passed on to the eldest daughter, going back for generations. Once in a while a generation does get skipped. A girl isn’t ready. If that happens, her name doesn’t even come up. Yours came up. And you can see me, meaning not only can you do this, but you’re the only person who can do it. This isn’t like when someone slacks off and there’s another person to take her place. When you’re called, you’re the only one who can help that particular person.”

Gabriella sucked in a giant breath. Summer didn’t know if it was out of necessity or to show how exasperating she found her. “Now, as for your mom. What did she tell you every time before she left?”

The words Mom used to say any time she left, Dad left, or Summer left popped into her head. Whenever you parted from Mom, she said the exact same thing. “Be good. You’re awesome. I love you.”

“See. Because of her job, she knew how important it was to end on a good note. Your mom didn’t have to say goodbye. She didn’t need to make amends. She did it every time she said goodbye to someone she loved.”

Summer’s eyes stung, and she blinked away the hot tears, determined not to cry. “Did she know…? When it came to that last goodbye, did she know it was the last?”

Gabriella shook her head. “You can’t sense your own death coming. Only others’.”

Yes, Summer saw others’. She saw her mom’s death before it came, and she was the one who didn’t say goodbye properly. It haunted her for months—it still haunted her.

Gabriella’s watch chimed. “I’m out of time—like beyond out of time. You know what you need to do. Now, do it.” Her outlined glimmered and then disappeared.

Summer sat on her bed and hugged her knees to her aching chest. She thought about how mad Gabriella had gotten when she’d messed with fate. But something stood out in her mind, something Gabriella had said the day Summer had tried to keep that guy from falling asleep at the wheel. Because of what she’d said, he’d changed his actions. Enough that the outcome almost changed, which meant it was possible.

I’ve just got to find a way to stop Ashlyn from dying. I’m going to do for her what I couldn’t do for my own mom.

I’m going to save her before it’s too late.

Chapter Twenty-Two

The sight of Ashlyn standing in the parking lot next to the beach pointing out an open spot instantly lifted Summer’s spirits. She pulled into the space, grabbed her beach bag, and walked to where her best friend was waiting for her.

All week, she’d stuck by Ashlyn’s side, determined to keep her breathing. Summer “accidentally” bumped into her on a regular basis so the moment she saw her death coming she’d be able to stop it. Before she and Ashlyn headed to the water to catch some waves, Summer planned on working in another bump or arm drape.

“So, you’ve been busy,” Ashlyn said. “I’ve heard you’ve been hooking up with every guy in school, which is weird considering you’ve been at my house most nights.”

It was also slightly ironic, considering why her relationship with Cody had ended. “Yeah, aren’t those rumors lovely? Someone used their finger to write ‘dirty whore’ in the dust collected on my car. It’s not my car’s fault she’s so promiscuous; I just drive her to wherever the gas is cheapest.”

Ashlyn laughed. “Your car does get around.” She draped her arm over Summer’s shoulders. “I’m sorry they’re so mean.”

Summer focused on the contact from Ashlyn, relieved when no scenes of death came to her. Now she could relax. “It’s okay. But only because I have you, and you’re obviously so much better anyway.”

“Obviously.” Ashlyn handed Summer the long board, grabbed her own surf board, and then they headed down the wooden steps leading to the beach.

Ashlyn dropped her board onto the wet sand, just out of the reach of the incoming waves. “So, how was dance practice this morning?”

Usually Saturdays were free days, but Kendall had called an emergency practice because they “looked like uncoordinated monkeys out there.” The rest of the girls practically worshiped her for saying so, too. Summer just went along with it, stubbornly determined to keep her spot, regardless of how much they pushed.

Summer zipped up her wetsuit. “Oh, the usual. Dirty looks, insults on my dancing, face, hair, clothes—you name it, they thought of it. I still rock, though, and I think they even realize they need me on the team to do well at the State Competition. Even a small change now would be a detriment to our routine.”

Ashlyn shielded her eyes with her hand and peered out at the ocean. “Well the good news is, it looks like a great day for surfing. You ready to ride your troubles away?”

“Oh, I was born ready!” She lowered her eyebrows. “You know, that saying really doesn’t make sense. I mean, I couldn’t even walk, much less hold a surfboard, when I was born.”

“In theory, you know how to swim when you’re born, though. Have you seen those crazy moms who toss their babies in the water and see if they go to town paddling their little arms and legs?”

“That doesn’t seem right,” Summer said.

“I know. It’s freaky.” Ashlyn’s gaze returned to the ocean. “Okay. Back on track. Last one in the water is a… I can’t think of anything appropriate. It’s another one of those sayings that people always say but doesn’t really make sense.” She shook her head. “I think I’ve been hanging out with you too much. Now I can’t say anything without remarking on its meaning.”

Summer smiled. “I think that’s awesome. No one will understand us, but we’ll understand each other.”

“And you know that’s going to make so many people very sad.”

“Because we’re so popular?”

Ashlyn laughed. “Because we’re so awesome.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “And no one will even know.”

Summer leaned in, ready to add to the conspiracy. “We’re like undercover awesome.”

“Exactly. And that’s the best kind of awesome. If people knew, we’d have fans stalking us. Things would be so hectic.”

“Then we’d have to wear big, hiding-from-the-paparazzi shades and complain about how hard our life is.”

Ashlyn laughed. “Word.” She grabbed her board. “Now let’s get into the water before we start another conversation that has no end.”

“I just want to point out that you started that one.”

“Hey,” a male voice called, and Summer spun around to see Troy jogging over to them, surfboard tucked under his arm. “I thought you girls would be in the water by now.” He draped his arm around her shoulders and hung on her, as if he needed to catch his breath from his short jog. It was another one of those flirty things that confused her because she wasn’t sure if it was a friendly gesture or an I-wanna-be-more gesture. “Sorry, I’m late. I had a thing.”

And then there was still the fact that he always had to be somewhere else, without ever explaining why. Summer shot him a sidelong glance. “A thing? Yes, I’ve heard that things can be very important.”

“Are you mocking me, Sunshine?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dare, Mister Bond. Not when you have mysterious things going on.”

“Troy, I barely got her to stop rambling,” Ashlyn said. “Now we’ll never get in the water.”

“No, I’m ready now.” Summer stepped out of Troy’s grasp and pulled her surfboard out of the sand. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a thing to go do in the water.”

Ashlyn followed, and within a couple of minutes, they were nearing the spot where the frothy waves promised an awesome day of surfing.

Troy paddled over to where Ashlyn and Summer were floating on their boards in the water. The waves had gotten weaker and weaker, not giving them much to work with anymore. “So, it’s been fun, but I’ve got to go.”

Summer turned to Ashlyn. “You see, Troy’s in charge of an underground resistance movement. He doesn’t have time for idle chit-chat anymore.”

“Ooh, sounds intriguing,” Ashlyn said. “What cause are you fighting for?”

Troy rolled his eyes. “I told you guys I didn’t have much time, but I came and caught some waves, anyway. Now I’ve got to go.”

“Well, thanks for the favor of hanging out with us,” Summer said, irritation over his continued secrecy digging at her. “We’re so lucky to get a few hours of your time.”

Ashlyn glanced over her shoulder. “Oh, here comes a wave. It’s wimpy, but I’m going to catch it.” She paddled off, ducking under the smaller waves to get out to the bigger one.

Troy moved his board closer to Summer’s. “Are you mad at me? You’ve been cold all week.”

Yeah, ever since your friend Tiny showed up and you made it clear I should get lost. “I’m not mad. It’s just been a rough week.” And I can’t deal with you if you’re only going to confuse me more.

He ran a hand through his hair, the damp strands sticking up in a completely charming way she was trying to ignore. “I keep telling you that you can talk to me.”

“Sure. Right before you run off to your important…whatever you’re always doing.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “What if I want to talk now?”

“I’ll skip my thing and we talk. I’ll just need to go make a quick call first.”

Summer didn’t know why she was being so confrontational and needy. The last thing she wanted to do was manipulate him so he’d stay. Especially since she didn’t have anything to talk about—or anything she could talk about, anyway. “I was just giving you a bad time. Thanks for coming and hanging with us. I mean that, I swear.”

Ashlyn rode past them. As the wave petered out, Ashlyn lost her footing and the board pitched forward, throwing her backward into the water. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her wipe out like that before. Not when the water’s so smooth.

Summer watched the spot she’d disappeared and waited for her to come up.

And waited.

Her pulse spiked as she scanned the surface of the water, still not seeing Ashlyn. “Where is she?”

“She’ll come up,” Troy said, his eyes glued to her empty surfboard.

But more seconds passed, and panic tightened her lungs. She hadn’t seen this earlier, and she’d been looking out for it. Of course, they’d been out here for hours. “Come up, Ash.”

Still nothing.

“Something’s wrong.” Summer glanced at Troy and then they both paddled toward the spot Ashlyn had gone under. Troy tore his cuff off and dove into the water.

Don’t freak out. You need to keep your head clear enough to help. Summer ripped off her cuff, took a deep breath, and plunged into the ocean. Murky salt water stung her eyes as she tried to look around. She couldn’t see Ashlyn or Troy, and soon the need for oxygen overpowered her. She pushed herself to the surface and took a couple deep breaths.

Just as she was about to dive back in, Troy and Ashlyn broke the surface. Troy had his arm around Ashlyn, keeping her head above water. He headed to the shore. Summer followed, swimming as fast as she could.

I messed up. I’m too late. I didn’t even get her to make up with her mom. Guilt ripped through her, and tears sprung to her eyes, mixing with the salt water dripping down her face.

Summer tripped onto the sand where Troy had already laid Ashlyn. “Oh my gosh, is she…?” Ashlyn couldn’t be gone. She just couldn’t.

Dropping to her knees, Summer looked her friend over. Her lips already had a bluish tint, and her skin was deathly pale.

With a shaky hand, she reached for Ashlyn, deciding to try to get a read on her. This late, she didn’t know if she’d see anything.

Her fingers grazed Ashlyn’s shoulder…

And Ashlyn coughed.

A large gasp followed, then her breath came out in ragged, wheezing noises.

“I’m sorry.” Tears spilled from Summer’s eyes. “This is all my fault.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Ashlyn said. “I’m already embarrassed enough without you blubbering all over me.” She coughed again.

“You scared the crap out of me! Don’t ever do that again!”

Troy sat back on his heels. “You want me to call a paramedic or the lifeguard or something?”

“Yes,” Summer said, while Ashlyn yelled “No!” over the top of her.

Ashlyn sat up halfway, propping herself on her elbows. “I’m fine. I got a little winded; then I got tangled up in my cord. Let’s not make this any more embarrassing.”

“You should at least get checked out.”

Troy watched them argue, his head turning to one, then the other, as they went back and forth on the issue of getting a medical opinion.

Summer put her hand on Troy’s knee, hoping he’d be able to talk some sense into Ashlyn. “Tell her she needs to see somebody.”

“Well if she feels okay…” Troy shrugged.

Heat burned through Summer’s veins, and she was irritated at him all over again. I can’t believe he’s not backing me up here! Of course, he didn’t have the whole truth. He didn’t know about Ashlyn’s looming death. That Summer had thought that death had come before she’d done her job. “Fine. You better hurry off to your thing, so you’re not late. I’ll take Ashlyn home and see what her mom thinks.”

“Summer, please don’t tell my mother. She’ll say it’s because of…” Ashlyn glanced at Troy, then back at Summer. “And it’ll be a mess and make things worse. Promise me you won’t say anything.”

Ashlyn was probably right. Pamela would turn this into a lesson for what happens if you’re out of shape. Ash clearly didn’t want Troy to know about it either, so Summer decided to drop it. Even though she really, really didn’t want to. “I won’t say anything. Let’s go to my place and relax for a little while, then. Deal?”

“Deal.” Ashlyn coughed again and pushed herself to her feet. “See, I’m fine. I just swallowed too much salt water.” She turned to Troy. “Thanks for helping me out of the water. Now get going so you’re not late.”

“I’m glad you’re okay, Ash.” Troy patted Summer’s shoulder. “Later, Sunshine.”

Still mad he hadn’t backed her up, she crossed her arms. Sure, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t know about Ashlyn, but right now everything sucked, and she couldn’t manage a happy goodbye.

Troy gathered his belongings and took off. If he cared that she was angry, he sure didn’t show it.

* * *

From her bedroom window, Summer watched Ashlyn drive away. She’d bumped into her several times this afternoon and hadn’t seen anything. In fact, her friend probably thought she was a giant klutz. Although she’d gotten no flashes of Ashlyn’s death, she couldn’t erase all the morbid images filling her head. It was too close a call. While she wanted to be optimistic and believe that she’d intervened and now Ashlyn would be fine, instinct told her otherwise.

Needing to clear her head, she pulled on a hoodie and headed downstairs, planning on going for a walk. She’d just reached for the doorknob to the front door when Dad came in from the garage. “Hey, kid, where you off to?”

“Going for a walk.”

“Don’t go too far. It’s starting to get dark.” He tossed his keys in the bowl. “Have you got your mace?”

Summer reached into the key dish, gripped the canister, and held it up. “I do now.” She opened the door, ready to step out, but something pulled at her. She’d thought about it all week, ever since she’d spoken to Gabriella. So far she’d been too much of a wimp to spit it out. Now it exploded out of her, almost as if she had no control. “Be good. You’re awesome. I love you.”

Dad stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face her. He stared at her for a minute, his expression turning from neutral to—well, Summer wasn’t sure what. He walked over and pulled her into a giant hug. “I love you, too. I loved your mom like crazy, and it made me happy every time she said goodbye like that. She never forgot. I guess I’ve been slacking off.”

“It’s okay,” Summer said, squeezing back. “I just didn’t want to leave the house without you knowing. It seemed important to say, for some reason.”

“She even said it to me that morning before I left for the conference.” Dad appeared to be back, reliving the memory. He looked a little sad, but not like the memory crushed him.

“She said it to me, too,” Summer said. Right before I begged her not to go. She broke free from the hug, the guilt too heavy, her heart knotting so tightly she wasn’t sure it’d ever go back to normal. “Okay, I’ll be back in a few.”

With the sun setting, the temperature dipped down into the low sixties. It shouldn’t feel that cold—not after the face-freezing, see-your-breath cold she’d experienced in Chicago. She still shivered and tucked her hands into her pockets.

As she walked, the problem between Ashlyn and her mom weighed heavy on her. Okay, as much as she hated to believe in signs, she’d seen too much to not give them a little consideration. The fact that she couldn’t stop thinking about her job meant she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

New resolution: Keep working on Ashlyn’s relationship with her mom.

It didn’t mean she planned on giving up her efforts to keep Ashlyn’s death from happening, but there was that whole better-safe-than-sorry thing to worry about. Besides, if she repaired their relationship, it would mean Ashlyn’s life was better. And Summer wanted her to have the best life she could. However long it was going to last.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Troy stood in the hall right before third period, flirting with what’s-her-face from the volleyball team. She laughed; he grinned. It was disgusting. Summer ducked alongside another group and hurried past him, focusing on the ground so she wouldn’t have to witness any more of it. She was almost to Mrs. Crawford’s room when she realized she’d forgotten her binder. She’d go in without it, but it had her homework in it, and Mrs. Crawford already had it out for her.

Grumbling, Summer hurried back the way she’d come from.

A new girl was talking to Troy now. This one blond, but wearing the same stupid, smitten expression as the first. What the hell? Does he have to flirt with everyone?

Summer pushed around the items in her locker, chucking pens and crumpling up papers. Why did he have to go and kiss me? I was fine before he did that. His popularity with the girls only seemed to grow, and one thing remained: She was still the friend.

Feeling stupid for falling him in the first place, she grabbed her binder and slammed her locker closed.

“Hey, Sunshine.”

Summer didn’t bother looking at him. “Troy.” She didn’t want to be next on his flirt-with-me list. It seemed to get more extensive by the day, and it was wreaking havoc on her emotions.

“Oh, it’s Troy now?” he asked. “I don’t seem dangerous enough to be Mr. Bond today?”

“Actually, you seem very Bond-like today.” Summer spun on her heel and started toward her classroom for the second time this day.

Troy fell into step next to her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means what it means.”

“Now that you clarified, it makes perfect sense.” Troy gripped her arm and pulled her to a stop. “Why are you so mad at me?”

“I’m not mad,” she said through clenched teeth. “I just think maybe I need a break from you right now.”

Troy threw his hands up. “Fine. I can’t figure you out anyway.”

“Yeah, I’m the problem. Don’t worry about taking any of the blame.” Summer stormed away, rage burning inside her.

* * *

“I can’t stay any longer,” Summer said, and was rewarded with more dirty looks from the girls on the dance team.

“So now you’re going to quit?” Kendall shrieked. “We’ve got to restructure three eight counts in the middle before the pep rally on Thursday.”

Summer looked from face to face, not wanting to give in, but knowing the routine needed work. Since the volleyball team had a game Thursday night, they’d moved the pep rally up a day. “I need to make a quick phone call, then. Let’s take five.”

Kendall exhaled. “Summer needs a five, everyone. We all know that Summer takes whatever she wants, so we all might as well get a rest.”

That was the nicest Kendall had been in a while. Summer dug through her bag until she found her phone. She sent a quick text to Dad and dialed Ashlyn’s number.

“Scott Pilgrim Versus the World is ready to go,” Ashlyn’s cheery voice informed her. “Can you bring me a Diet Coke on your way? I’m all out.”

Hanging with Ashlyn would be way more fun than sticking around here. “You don’t know how much it kills me to say this, but I’ve got to cancel. We’ve got to fix the routine so it’ll be ready for the pep rally, and it’s going to be a late night.”

“That sucks,” Ashlyn said. “I understand, though.”

“I feel so bad. I’d rather be there hanging with you. It’s just that…”

“That you love to dance and those girls will kick you off if they get an excuse. We’ll reschedule. Tomorrow night, okay?”

Summer loved that Ashlyn didn’t throw hissy fits whenever things didn’t go her way, the way the blonde who was most likely glaring daggers at her back had. “Have I told you how much you rock?”

“Yeah, but you can tell me again.”

“You rock so much that they’re thinking about changing paper, rock, scissors, to paper, Ashlyn, scissors.”

Ashlyn laughed. “Okay, that was really bad.”

Summer smiled, the tension leaking out of her. “See you tomorrow.”

“Call me later if you’re bored.”

The next hour and a half was filled with dancing, insults, and tears. Anytime Summer suggested a move, all the girls vetoed it. Then Lexi couldn’t get the new moves and ended up crying. Finally they called practice before anyone else could have a nervous breakdown.

Pulling her jacket tight against the cool air, Summer walked to her car. Troy’s Jeep sat a few spaces away from hers. She glanced around, but there was no sign of him. That boy is hiding something, and it’s got to be bad if he doesn’t want anyone to know what it is.

Summer climbed in her car and slammed the door. She didn’t want to think about Troy. Chevelle greeted her when she started up her car—nice and loud, just the way she liked it. As she drove away, her thoughts turned to Ashlyn. She waited until she reached a stoplight to grab her phone and call her. “So, I’m all danced out,” Summer said after Ashlyn answered.

“I guess you don’t want to hit the beach first thing tomorrow morning, then?”

“No, not really.” Summer thought of Ashlyn, the scare on Saturday. “Promise me you won’t go surfing without me, though.”

“Summer, I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I’ll go with you then. Just don’t go without me.”

“Don’t worry,” Ashlyn said. “I’m not going to go tomorrow. Maybe Saturday.”

“Saturday’s good.” Red and blue lights flashed behind Summer. “Oh, holy crap. Ashlyn, I’ve got to go. I’m getting pulled over. Again.”

Summer tossed her phone onto the passenger seat and pulled to the side of the road. Dad was going to kill her. How many times had he lectured her about talking on her phone while driving? He wouldn’t care that she’d waited for a stoplight or that she wasn’t speeding.

I’m almost sure I wasn’t speeding. She unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned over to get all the necessary paperwork out of the glove box. Okay, calm down. Who knows why he’s stopping me. It’s so dark, there’s no way he could possibly see I was on the phone.

“Oh joy,” Summer said when she saw the cop standing next to her car. “It’s the same guy.”

Summer rolled down her window. “I swear I wasn’t speeding.”

“You were on your cell phone,” the officer said.

“You can’t be on a cell phone here? I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I just moved from Idaho.” Yes, she knew the states where you could legally talk on the phone as a minor—Dad had told her that even if they’d lived in those states, he still wouldn’t let her. She really hoped the cop wouldn’t look that up, although this guy probably would.

“You’re not wearing your seatbelt either.”

Summer looked down. “Oh yeah, ‘cause I got out all my paperwork.” She held it up.

He took the papers from her. “I’ll be right back.”

“But this is just a warning, right? Since I didn’t know?”

“I don’t give warnings,” he said before walking back to his car.

Summer glanced at her passenger seat, expecting Gabriella to show up. Minutes passed, and she didn’t show, leaving Summer to think she was on her own. Well, at least I don’t have to sit through one of her lectures, but I could use some advice. Dad’s so not going to be happy about me getting another ticket.

She tapped her fingers on her thighs, wondering how she was going to break it to him. Then again, who says he has to know?

* * *

Summer tossed her keys in the bowl and closed the door behind her. On the drive home, she’d formulated a plan. She’d pull out money from her savings account to pay for the ticket. That way, Dad would never have to know.

“Hey, kid,” Dad’s voice drifted into the room. “Why don’t you come here for a minute?”

When she got into the living room, Tiffany was on the couch next to dad. While she looked like she usually did—hair pulled up, dress, high heels—there was something different in her expression. Worry? Fear?

“What’s going on?” Dad asked.

Good thing Dad couldn’t hear her heart beating, because the guilt of not telling him about the ticket was making her twitchy. The way he looked at her, it was like he already knew. But there was no way he possibly could.

Summer cleared her throat, shifting from her right foot to her left. “Well, you got my text about late practice, right? Kendall wanted to whip everyone into perfect form for the pep rally.”

Dad nodded. Behind his back, Tiffany made arm motions. Palms together, apparently motioning a fish.

“Did you go fishing?” Summer asked.

Tiffany dropped her hands and shook her head.

“When have I ever gone fishing?” Dad asked. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me something?”

Summer searched for something to tell him. Any news to satisfy his curiosity. “Troy and I got in a fight today. He can be so frustrating.” Hanging around all those girls. Then he acted shocked that she wasn’t happy to be next in line. Ugh. “Anyway, I’m kind of bummed about it, so I’m just going to head to my room.” She turned to walk away.

“If you think you’re going to your room before we discuss you getting pulled over for the second time in a matter of weeks, then you’re mistaken.”

Summer froze. How can he possibly know that? He’s good, but not that good.

When she turned back to face dad, she noticed Tiffany chewing on her nails, avoiding eye contact. Dad’s girlfriend had ratted her out.

“Tiffany was driving over here and saw you pulled off the road, a cop car behind you,” Dad said.

Summer clenched her teeth and turned her gaze to her betrayer.

“Don’t be mad at her. She was worried about you.”

“Dad, I’m going to take care of it. I wasn’t speeding—I’ve been so careful not to. I dialed at a stoplight, so see, I was thinking about safety. I just really needed to talk to Ashlyn, only for a quick second. It was the same cop, and, as he so nicely informed me, he doesn’t give warnings.”

“You should’ve told me,” Dad said. “Instead, you tried to hide it.”

“But Dad—”

“I’m disappointed. Now go to your room. We’ll discuss your punishment later.” He didn’t have to yell; the tone was enough to say there was no point arguing.

Summer trudged upstairs. She’d tried to give Tiffany a shot, but the woman just ruined it. A horrible feeling twisted in the pit of her stomach. Dad was disappointed in her. She’d rather get grounded, or have him yell at her—anything was better than him saying that.

I can’t get grounded, though. Ashlyn’s life depends on me being by her side to keep her from dying.

How am I ever going to explain that to Dad, though?

Summer kicked off her shoes and dove onto her bed, burying her face in her pillows. The days kept getting crappier and crappier. She wanted this one to hurry up and end before it could get any worse.

She rolled over, and her gaze drifted to the stupid brochure on her nightstand. It was propped up so she couldn’t miss it, and she knew she hadn’t been the one to put it there. She grabbed it and opened it up. A post-it was stuck over the tips for open communication. In glittery pink handwriting was a simple message:

You’re running out of time

- Gabriella

And just like that, things got remarkably worse.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Summer walked into chemistry and looked around for a new desk to move to. Although they didn’t have assigned seating, most people stuck to their same places. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Troy seated at his usual desk. She wasn’t about to sit next to him after that stupid encounter in the hall yesterday. It was too hard to be around him when all she could think about was how much she liked him and how much he liked girls in general.

The one seat left habitually unoccupied was behind this weird kid with greasy hair. Remembering her goal to be nice to everyone, she decided to give the guy a chance. Summer slid into the desk behind him and was hit with the overpowering stench of at least a week’s worth sweat and she didn’t even want to guess what else.

That’s right. Everyone calls this kid Stinky Steve. The guy was known for not showering or bothering with deodorant.

Nice kick or not, Summer couldn’t stand the smell. Every time she breathed in, it seemed like she could taste it. Even pushing her nose against her fist didn’t work. The stench seeped through, making her eyes water.

Mr. Jennings walked in, and Summer darted to her usual seat before she lost the chance. By the time she’d settled in and took a few deep breaths of relatively decent smelling air, Mr. Jennings was at the board starting his lecture.

“That was weak,” Troy whispered.

Summer didn’t reply. She opened her notebook to take notes.

“I admire your dedication to taking a break from me, but you couldn’t stand the smelly guy for five minutes. I expected better.”

Unable to ignore him anymore, she turned to him. “You could move, you know.”

Troy stretched out, a big grin on his face. “I like this seat.”

Summer returned her attention to the board as Mr. Jennings rattled off facts about types of chemical reactions.

“Come on, Sunshine. I’m sorry, okay.”

She glanced across the aisle at him. His stupid cute face and extra charming smile annoyed her even more. “You don’t even know why you’re sorry,” she whispered back. “So how can you even be sorry?”

“Because you’re mad. I don’t even care why; I just want you to stop being mad at me.”

Summer lifted a finger to shush him. He was getting way too loud. “You’re going to get us in trouble.”

“Summer,” Mr. Jennings said. “You had your hand up. Do you know the answer?”

Suddenly, she had the attention of everyone in the room. “Actually, Troy was saying he knew the answer.”

Mr. Jennings’s eyes moved to Troy. “Troy?”

“I’m sure I do know the answer,” Troy said. “First I just need to know the question.”

That response got a few chuckles.

“I suggest you pay better attention,” Mr. Jennings said. “I asked what type of chemical reaction the formula on the board is.”

Troy studied the equation for a moment. “Decomposition reaction.”

“That’s right. Now, let’s talk about the other kinds of reactions…” Mr. Jennings continued his lecture, and Summer focused on scribbling all the information down. At least she’d made Troy squirm for a few seconds. Too bad he somehow had all the answers.

After class, Summer gathered all her supplies and headed out of the classroom. A few steps into the hall, an arm wrapped around her shoulders, and she was pulled against a solid body. “You owe me for that you know,” Troy said.

Summer raised an eyebrow at him. “I guess we’re even.”

“Does that mean you forgive me for whatever I did?”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I never said I was mad. I just said I needed a break.”

“From this?” he gestured to himself, an incredulous look on his face.

Summer rolled her eyes. “Your humility. It’s a problem.”

“So was that you I saw pulled over last night? It looked like your car.”

Apparently, everyone had seen her last night. “This cop has it out for me. It’s the second time he’s pulled me over, and my dad’s upset because I tried to hide it. His girlfriend ratted me out before I even got home. First, he gave me this total guilt trip. Then this morning, on top of his usual defensive driving spiel, I got a lecture on trust. I think it would’ve felt better if he yelled or grounded me. Of course, that would be really bad. I can’t get grounded now. I’m not even close to finished with my job.”

“Your job?” Troy asked.

Summer’s mouth hung open, her mind searching for a way to cover her slip. “My job to get my dance moves up to par. The girls aren’t happy with them.” She started down the hall, and Troy stayed next to her. “By the way, why were you here so late last night?”

Troy just stared.

“I saw your Jeep was still in the parking lot,” she said. “We practiced late.”

“Oh, nothing. I just had to do some stuff.” Troy glanced down the hall. “In fact, I’ve got to get to my next class.”

Of course you do. I should start calling you Mister Dodge all the Questions. “Are you going to come hang out with us at lunch?”

Troy shook his head. “I can’t today.”

“You never have any time to hang out anymore. You’re always off and running somewhere mysterious.”

“Shoot, Sunshine, if you want to hang out, all you have to do is ask.”

Summer crossed her arms and glared at him. “What’s keeping you so busy?”

“Life.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

Troy flashed a half grin. “Said the girl who always has a secret.”

Just when she didn’t think he could get any more irritating, he upped it a notch. “I give up. I’ll see you around, Mister Bond.” She walked past him, headed toward her next class. She didn’t have time to deal with Troy anyway. All her energy needed to go into putting her plan into motion. Later today she was going to have another talk with Pamela.

* * *

Kendall was less than happy when Summer bailed early, but she didn’t have time to worry about that. Ashlyn left a message saying she was headed out to buy treats, and Summer zoomed over to her house, hoping to catch Pamela alone. Heart hammering like a jackhammer, Summer knocked on the door and waited.

“Come on in,” Pamela said with a sneer. Ever since Summer had suggested the woman express her love to her daughter, she’d barely spoken to her. Short clipped phrases were all she’d gotten since that talk a little over a week ago. Summer kept thinking she’d try again, only to have something get in the way. Sometimes it was simply her chickening out.

Time to get down to business.

Summer cleared her throat, hoping to clear her nerves as well. “I thought about that talk we had, and I wanted to say that love shouldn’t have to be earned. Ashlyn shouldn’t have to do something involving exercise to get praise. I heard about the diet pills, so I know you care about her. Can you please tell her that?”

Pamela stepped closer, and Summer stared at the woman’s toned arms. As Pamela had so nicely pointed out before, Summer’s were no match. “Why don’t you keep your opinions to yourself? I don’t need some teenager who knows nothing about being a mother to come in and tell me how to be one. If your friendship didn’t mean so much to Ashlyn, I’d ask you to leave my house and never come back.”

The note said she was running out of time, so Summer decided she wasn’t going to tiptoe around anymore. “See, right there, you proved how much you care about her. Just. Tell. Her.” As hard as it was, she stared right back.

The front door swung open, and Ashlyn walked in. “Hey, you beat me here. I got some snacks. And Mother, before you say anything, I’m pointing out that I got veggies and low-fat popcorn.” Ashlyn’s gaze moved from Summer to Pamela. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Summer said. “I was about to head up to your room to wait for you.”

“Well come on then. Scott Pilgrim awaits,” Ashlyn said. Summer followed her, too scared to look at Pamela again.

“I’ve got to use the bathroom first.” Ashlyn tossed the snacks and her bag on the bed, and then stepped into the bathroom adjoining her room, closing the door behind her.

Summer plopped herself on the foot of the bed, and Ashlyn’s bag tumbled to the floor. “Oh holy crap,” she muttered, bending over to pick it up. As she shoved the contents back inside, she saw the box. Either Ashlyn had forgotten to take the diet pills out of her purse, or she was still taking them.

Summer glanced up as Ashlyn walked back into the room. “I accidentally knocked your bag off the bed, and I was picking it up, and…” She held up the diet pills. “I found these. You’re not still taking them are you?”

Ashlyn ripped them out of Summer’s hand. “You act like it’s crack or something. Just leave me alone about it.”

Come to think of it, Summer hadn’t seen Ashlyn eat much in days. “Did you eat dinner?”

“Of course I did. I even got snacks.”

“Carrot sticks? You didn’t even get your usual Diet Coke.”

Ashlyn crossed her arms. “You know, I don’t feel like a movie anymore.”

Summer stood up. “Oh, come on, Ash. I’m worried about you. I just want you to be happy with yourself.”

“Well, I’m not. Especially right now. I feel tired, actually. Maybe we should do the movie another night.”

Summer’s throat tightened. “But we haven’t hung out in forever, and I’ve been looking forward to this all day. Please, let’s just watch the movie. I won’t say a thing.”

“It’s too late to not say a thing. I’ll talk to you later, when I don’t feel like crap.”

Summer’s heart fell into her stomach. Not only had she pissed off Pamela, she’d also pissed off Ashlyn. She reached out and squeezed her friend’s shoulder. “That’s really not what I meant to do.”

“I know.” A tear ran down Ashlyn’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school.”

“Okay, if that’s really what you want.” Summer waited for her to say it wasn’t, but she didn’t. “See you tomorrow.”

Without a word, Ashlyn headed over to her dresser and snatched the iPod off it. Summer walked out of the room, down the hall, which seemed twice as long as usual. This night hadn’t gone at all the way it was supposed to.

Pamela was sitting on the couch, watching television. “I hope that know-it-all head of yours fits out the door.”

No response seemed like a good one, so Summer simply left. She could handle Pamela being annoyed, but the fact she’d hurt Ashlyn’s feelings made her gut clench. By the time she made it to the car, she felt so sad it seemed like she’d never be happy again.

* * *

Troy’s Jeep was parked in front of her house when she pulled into her driveway. Summer flipped down her visor and looked at her ragged reflection. Every time Troy was around, she managed to look like hell. Taking a deep breath to prepare, she headed inside, and followed the blare of the television.

Dad picked up the remote and hit the pause button. “Hey, kid. I thought you’d be at Ashlyn’s ‘till late.”

“Ash was tired, so we chatted for a few minutes, and then I took off.”

“Well, Troy said he had some time to kill, so we’ve been watching UFC fights. It’s nice having a guy around. This kid knows his stuff.” Dad scooted to the edge of the couch. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

“You can’t leave now,” Troy said. “We’ve got to finish this fight at least.”

Summer sat next to Troy. “Yeah, Dad, finish the fight. I don’t mind.”

“You’re just trying to butter me up,” Dad said.

Summer smiled at him. “And what’s wrong with that?”

Dad leaned back and pressed play, and the fighters on the television commenced trying to beat the crap out of each other.

“Something wrong?” Troy whispered.

Summer shook her head. “I’m fine.” She was getting so sick of saying that, when the truth was she was freaking falling apart. Her best friend had asked her to leave. Pamela wanted to crush her, the way the guys on the television screen were crushing each other.

They watched until one of the bloody, battered men was declared the winner. Dad turned the volume way down and looked at Summer. “Hey, before I forget, I need you home tomorrow. Tiffany wants to make us dinner again. She feels really badly about last night.”

Summer groaned. She didn’t have time to deal with Tiffany. She needed to do some serious damage control with Ashlyn and Pamela.

“Summer doesn’t like my girlfriend,” Dad said, apparently thinking Troy needed to know.

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.” Dad turned off the TV and tossed the remote on the coffee table, leaving the room way too quiet all of a sudden.

Troy’s phone beeped and he glanced at it. “My mom. I’ve gotta get home.”

Dying to know if he was telling the truth, she tried to get a quick look at his screen, but he was too fast. He stood, and she felt like it was so unfair that he was leaving, even though she wasn’t sure how to be around him these days.

She pushed herself off the couch. “I’ll walk you out.”

“I’m giving you five minutes,” Dad said. “Which is pretty generous considering you’re still awaiting sentencing for yesterday’s offense.” He raised an eyebrow at her, so much warning in that tiny movement.

The cool night hair cut through Summer’s thin shirt, despite the fact that she was wearing long sleeves. She and Troy walked in silence over to his Jeep. She wasn’t sure why she’d wanted to walk him out. Only that she needed to be around him for a few more minutes, even if things were weird.

Troy bumped his hip into hers. “Thanks for walking me out, Sunshine. You’re a real gentleman.”

Summer couldn’t help return his smile. “Well, I know how scared you are of the dark.”

He glanced back at the house, and she did, too, thinking Dad must be standing in the doorway watching them or something. If he was, she sure didn’t see him. “You know, I actually enjoyed hanging out with your dad tonight,” Troy said. “You should give him a break.”

“What do you mean, I should give him a break?”

“He’s worried about you. I told him you were okay, because hell, I didn’t know what else to say, and he looked so stressed out about it. Maybe I shouldn’t have assured him everything was cool with you. Maybe I’m making it worse.”

“No, I’m glad that you did.” She put her hand on his arm. “Thanks. Sorry you had to deal with that. And I’m sorry he got all weird about his girlfriend. It’s not that I don’t like her. She’s just not…”

“Your mom.”

“She’s nothing like her, and I don’t understand how he can even like someone who’s so opposite of her. Of us.”

“I’m sure it’s good for him to try to move on and be happy,” Troy said. “You both deserve to be happy.”

Every time she was around Troy, he knew exactly what to say to make her fall apart. She bit back the tears that were starting to well up in her eyes. “I know you’re right, but I have a hard time letting my mom go. I just keep thinking if I would’ve stopped my mom that morning, then none of this would’ve happened. He wouldn’t need a new girlfriend.”

Troy put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in her the eye. “You can’t do that. It’s not like you could’ve changed it.”

Oh, hell, the tears were coming. “That’s not true. I knew something bad was going to happen. I had a really bad feeling that morning before she left. I tried to talk her out of it…” She clenched her jaw to kill the sob in her throat. “But she went anyway.”

“You can’t torture yourself with the past.”

The images were torture. Something tickled Summer’s memory as the quick flashes she saw if she let her guard down started up—but there was something new, in the far corner of her mind. She almost had a grasp of it, then Troy spoke again. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?”

His features came back into focus, the streetlight casting them in sharp relief. “I’ll tell you my secret if you tell me yours.” As much as she wanted to know his, she’d have to edit several details out of hers. In fact, she couldn’t really tell him. He’d think she was insane.

A slow grin spread across his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sunshine. I’ll save you your usual spot in chemistry. We both know that trying to sit away from me didn’t work.”

There was no way his secret was as awful as hers, yet he seemed as reluctant to share it. “Goodnight, Mister Bond.”

After his taillights were lost in a sea of others, she hurried back to the house, eager to have some time to focus on her last memory of Mom. As soon as she was inside her room, door closed securely behind her, she sat down on her bed.

Usually, she avoided the memory. Now she forced herself to plunge on in.

The temperature in Chicago had hovered at the ninety-nine degree mark that day—they’d broken the previous record-high for August. Mom was at the door, getting ready to head out.

“I’ve got to go, Summer,” she’d said.

“Oh wait.” Summer got up from the couch, abandoning her television show. “Can I get some money before you go? The girls and I are going to grab lunch.”

Mom reached into her purse and handed her a twenty.

“Thanks, Mom.” Summer leaned in for a hug.

Mom hands her cell phone to an unfamiliar red-haired woman. The woman pushes several buttons and holds the phone up to her ear. Aisles of candy are lined up behind her, a magazine stand is off to the right.

A large, mangy-looking man standing near the cash register pulls a gun from his hip and aims it at the cashier. “Give me the money! And don’t do anything stupid or everyone in here will die!”

He turns and swings the gun in Mom’s direction.

Mom holds her hands up in the air.

“Get off the phone!” The man yells at the woman behind Mom, leveling the gun on her. The woman’s lips are moving quickly, speaking into the cell phone.

“She’s almost done,” Mom says in a soothing tone.

The man pulls the trigger, and the woman talking on the phone goes down. He shoots again. Mom falls back into the candy-filled shelves and tumbles to the ground. Blood pours from the wound in her chest.

“Mom, don’t go,” Summer said as she released the hug, her heart racing, her mind swimming. “I’ll blow off lunch with my friends and go with you somewhere. We can see if there’s a dance class we can slip into, or catch a movie, or hit the mall. Whatever you want to do.”

“Don’t be silly,” Mom said. “I’ve got to go, and I’m in a hurry. I’ll see you when I get back this afternoon.”

“Mom, please. Please don’t go.” Summer had had the flashes before and nothing had ever happened—well, not that she knew of. This was her mom, though. She wasn’t willing to take any chances. “I really want you to stay with me today.”

“I’ve got to go do my job.”

“I thought you had the day off,” Summer said, desperate to keep her here no matter what she did. “Just stay here. Please!

“Someday, you’ll understand. You’ll see you can’t help when you have to go.”

Summer’s heart thumped faster and faster, harder and harder. “But I need to tell you something, and it can’t wait.”

“It’ll have to wait. This is something I can’t be late for. Now, be good. You’re awesome. I love you.” Mom blew her a kiss, then walked into the garage and pulled the door closed behind her.

Summer bit her lip, debating what to do. I’m going to have to tell her. Even if she doesn’t believe me, even if she thinks I need to be put in a mental institution, I can’t let her go. She heard the garage door close and ran for the front door. By the time she’d unlocked it and stepped outside, Mom was already driving away. She pulled her phone out and called Mom’s cell.

No answer.

She called five more times.

Mom never picked up.

It made sense now, why Mom insisted she had to go. Why she said Summer would understand someday. Mom had been going out on a Cipher job, Summer was sure of it. And Mom had been killed trying to do that job.

Summer hadn’t saved Mom, and it had eaten away at her every day since. But she was going to save Ashlyn. There had to be a way, and she was going to find it.

Because Summer couldn’t have another death on her conscience.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Summer bent down to pull on her boots. When she straightened, Gabriella was there. “Oh, holy crap,” she muttered. “I mean—Just crap. Not holy. But seriously, you scare me every time.”

“It’s been over a month, Summer,” Gabriella said, ignoring the popping-up-and-scaring issue. “You’ve got to know it’s drawing near.”

Bile churned in the pit of Summer’s stomach. “Just tell me when exactly. It’s driving me crazy.”

“I don’t even know for sure—those orders go out last minute. I do feel the urgency of the situation, though, which means you must, too. Those instincts were given to you for a reason. You can’t delay any more, or the only result you’re going to get is horrible guilt for you, Ashlyn, and Pamela.”

Ashlyn. Who might still be mad at her. She was going to fix that at school first thing, but while she had Gabriella here, she wanted confirmation on her theory. “My mom died on a Cipher job, didn’t she?”

Gabriella sighed. “Yes. That one came down to the wire. It was literally seconds before her death that your mom got her to call and talk to her husband. I’m not sure why she didn’t get there earlier.”

“That call cost my mom her life. I saw it. The man with the gun got mad because that other woman was on her cell phone.” The realization of what had happened hit Summer, knocking the air out of her. If I hadn’t delayed Mom, she wouldn’t have been in the store when the gun went off. She would’ve done her job before the woman went inside. Her head swam as she tried to put together words. “Does anyone die on accident?”

“Summer, this is complicated stuff. I can’t reveal the secrets of the universe to you. I’m here to do my job, which is to get you to do your job. I will tell you that Ciphers have failed before. Sometimes they’re too late—it’s not a perfect science. There are ways to get past it for the deceased and the family members, but it’s much more extensive and emotionally scarring. Some people never come back from it. That’s why it’s so much easier if you do your job now. Before it’s too late.”

Summer grabbed Gabriella’s hand, desperation throbbing through her veins. “Just tell me if some deaths are accidents.”

Gabriella’s watch chimed. “I’ve got a tight schedule, Summer. I don’t have time to keep coming down here, so please put a little more effort into this.”

She tightened her hold on the Angel of Death’s hand. “I’m trying as hard as I can. But right now, I really need you to tell me if people die when they’re not supposed to. Suicide, that kind of thing? Do people die before their time?”

Gabriella’s outline started to fade, and then Summer was clinging on to nothing but air.

* * *

“Did you see Ashlyn this morning?” Summer asked Troy at lunch. Ashlyn’s usual spot across the cafeteria was empty, she hadn’t answered any of her calls, and Sumer was starting to worry she was too late. Everything inside her turned cold and hard. Not only did she fail, but her friend had died mad at her.

“She stayed home today,” Troy said. “I know that Aaron got her math assignment to take to her.”

At least she was alive—she’d take pissed if it meant okay. Now she just needed to figure out how to fix things between them. Summer pressed her fingertips to the headache building at her temples. “I’ve managed to make a mess of everything.”

“What’s up?”

Summer glanced at Ashlyn’s empty space again. “I really need to talk to Ashlyn, but I think she’s avoiding me. We didn’t agree on something—it’s why I was bummed last night. I’m afraid she’s mad at me, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Just give her some time to cool off. Ashlyn won’t hold a grudge. Especially not against you.” Troy put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze that sent zips of electricity from this touch to the center of her core. She wanted to throw her arms around him and have him hold her again, the way he did when he’d discovered her outside of the band room. Instead he dropped his hand, and the spot where it’d been suddenly felt too cold. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, but I’ll catch you later.”

It took her a moment to switch gears from lusting after him to the fact that he was taking off again. “Right. You have to go plan your underground resistance.” Another thought popped into her head, something to describe his odd behavior. It was a ridiculous idea, one that she worried might be the truth. “Or is it…something more illegal?” She told herself she should keep her mouth shut, but he was there for her, and she’d hate to see him ruin his life on something stupid. She lowered her voice. “Are you dealing drugs or something?”

Troy’s eyebrows scrunched together, the corners of his mouth tilting down. “You think I’m a drug dealer?”

“No. Yes. Well, I don’t know. I mean, how would I know? You’re always leaving mid-convo, in a hurry to get somewhere; you’ve managed to make friends with everyone; you carry sunglasses around—I was thinking you must carry them to hide the signs. It all kind of fits.”

“Ouch. I thought you knew me better than that.” He studied her for a moment and let out a long exhale. “I’m friends with everyone because I’m so charming.” He grinned to prove the point. “The dark glasses are because it’s sunny here in California. And as for where I’m always running off to…” He held out his hand. “Come on then. I guess it’s time to show you what I’ve been doing in my spare time.”

Summer slipped her hand into his, her heart fluttering when he automatically curled his fingers around it. He led her across the school grounds to the far back corner, where she’d had her crying break down a little over a week ago. He pushed open the door to the band room and walked in. Motes of dust floated in the beam of light from the doorway, the air stale because the room didn’t have near enough windows.

“Mrs. Wilkes lets me practice during lunch and after school,” Troy said.

Practice?

Troy released her hand and moved to the lockers lining the wall. He retrieved a pair of drumsticks and sat down behind the drums. He sucked in a big breath, and then the sticks in his hands were moving across the surface, pounding out a rhythm. She moved closer as he played, feeling the beat vibrate across her skin. His eyes followed the quick movements, his brow wrinkled in concentration, and one corner of his mouth twitched up in an adorable half smile that changed with the beat. At the end of the song, he made a big booming finish, complete with tossing a stick in the air and catching it and an obligatory cymbal crash.

Troy grabbed the cymbal to silence it and shot her a devastatingly cute grin. “So, there you go. I play the drums.”

Summer ran her finger along the edge of the cymbal. “And why is this a big secret?”

“It’s not so much a secret as…Well, you know my mom would be horrified. She already hates that I’m always going to listen to bands play all the time—that I’m as into music as my dad was. At first I was just messing around. I tried the guitar first—not for me. But then I grabbed a pair of drumsticks, and from the first time I played, I was hooked. I’m not going to leave the people I love to do it, but I can see how easy it would be to get caught up in it.”

Summer placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a teenager in high school. You don’t have a family to take care of. It’s okay to pursue your dream.”

“I don’t think that’s what my mom will say.” He stared across the room for a moment, a million miles away. Then his eyes focused and he turned his attention back to the drums. “Okay, tell me what you think about this one I’ve been working on…” He banged out another rhythm, glancing over at her now and then as he played. Any second she’d turn into a puddle of a girl on the floor—as if he wasn’t hard enough to resist before he got behind a set of drums.

“Imagine it with some guitar mixed in, and you’ve got a song.”

Summer grinned at him. “You’re making magic.”

He titled his head. “Magic?”

“Music can transport you to another time with a couple of notes. It makes you feel the heartbreak or the love, right along with the singer. The right song speaks to your soul in a way nothing else can. It’s magic,” she whispered. Heat crept into her cheeks. She’d always believed that about music, but even in all her gush sessions with Troy, she’d never vocalized it like that.

Luckily, he nodded, a huge smile stretched on his perfect lips. “I couldn’t have put it better myself, Sunshine.”

Summer held out her hands. “Okay, hand over your sticks. I’ve always thought I should dye my hair hot pink and join a band. I probably should learn an instrument because I know I’ll never be a vocalist.”

Troy gave her the drumsticks and moved to the side.

Summer sat down and banged on the drums, thinking anything she did would sound at least semi-awesome. Instead, it sounded like a mess. “Hmm, it’s harder than it looks. That was pretty awful.”

“Hit it lighter. Hold the sticks loose, like this…” Troy slid behind her and put his arms around her to demonstrate how to hold the drumsticks.

Suddenly, she could care less about the drums. Their bodies were touching almost everywhere, his thighs pressed against the outside of hers, his chest against her back. She felt it rise and fall with his breaths, felt the exhale fall from his lips and stir her hair.

“Now hit this like…” Troy guided her hand, using it to tap the snare. His lips brushed her cheek when he spoke, sending a pleasant chill down her spine. “See, that sounds better. Try it out.”

Using her wrist to flick the drumstick, she repeated the hit. “Like that?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder to look at Troy. Only a few inches separated their lips. Her heart thumped once. Twice. Before she overthought and blew the moment, she decided to go for it. She closed the gap and pressed her mouth to his. Both sticks clattered to the ground as she twisted toward him. His hand slid behind her neck, pulling her closer. Heat coiled through her body as she parted her lips and deepened the kiss. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, running it across her top lip.

Someone pushed against the door, the sound echoing off the walls.

Summer jumped up as people burst into the room. She was so dizzy from the kiss that she had to steady herself on a nearby chair. It took a couple of seconds for her brain to kick into gear. If people are coming in for class… She looked at the clock on the wall and saw she only had a few minutes to make it all the way to the other side of the school.

“Crap, I’ve got to get to my next class.” She glanced at Troy, who was staring up at her, a stunned look on his face. “I’ll, um, see you later.”

She rushed down the steps, pushed past a few stunned-looking freshmen trying to get into the room, and sprinted all the way to her next class. Mrs. Crawford was closing the door as Summer slipped inside. She fell into her desk, gasping for air. She didn’t have any of her materials, but she didn’t care.

I kissed Troy. She lifted her hand to her still-tingling lips and smiled. And he totally kissed me back.

* * *

All practice, the girls’ barbed remarks didn’t get to Summer. The insults simply bounced off her. Troy saturated her thoughts, blurring all her other problems. Her gut wouldn’t let her forget she needed to make things right with Ashlyn, though—she planned on calling her the second she got done with practice. Make that when she got home. Driving and talking on your cell could get you pulled over.

As soon as practice let out, Summer walked outside, already formulating her apology to Ashlyn. When she saw Troy’s Jeep in the parking lot, her stomach got all fluttery, and her lips burned again with the memory of that kiss in the band room today. She pulled out her phone, thinking she’d call and see if he was almost done practicing his drums. Maybe even see if he’d like to give her another lesson.

Then she saw Troy.

And the volleyball player.

Summer’s heart dropped as she watched them talking and flirting. I’m such an idiot. Like he’s going to give up all his other girls for me. She couldn’t watch anymore, so she hid between the buildings. There was no way she was going to walk past the two of them right now. She was the girl he was around all the time—the one who talked to him about you know. It made Summer feel like an even bigger idiot for thinking they’d shared something more than a kiss today.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Ashlyn’s number. She swore when she got the voicemail. “Ashlyn, please pick up. I really need to talk to you. I’m sorry about everything, and I really need to hear your voice. Please call me back.”

Summer peeked around the corner. Troy opened the passenger-side door for the amazon-volleyball-player girl. He pulled out his phone as he walked around the Jeep. Summer’s phone rang, vibrating in her pocket. Eager to talk to Ashlyn, she dug it out.

Ashlyn’s name didn’t show up, though. Troy’s did. He’s calling me while he’s practically on a date? Maybe he wanted to tell her today was a mistake—try to sugarcoat his we’ll-just-be-friends spiel. Or maybe he wanted to keep her on the back burner with the rest of his girls. Either way, she couldn’t talk to him now. In fact, she felt like she’d never be able to talk to him again.

He climbed inside his Jeep and drove away, his and Cara’s outlines visible for a moment before they disappeared into the evening to do whatever they were going to do. Summer tried the text message approach with Ashlyn.

Ash, please call me. Need to talk. Today sucked without you.

She slowly made her way to the Civic, hoping it’d give Ashlyn time to reply. She glanced in the direction the Jeep had disappeared. What was I thinking, kissing Troy? Of course he kissed her back. He was a guy. That was what they cared about. It didn’t mean they wanted a girlfriend or wouldn’t get what else they “needed” somewhere else. Now, she’d ruined things between them for good.

And on top of that mess, Ashlyn wouldn’t even answer the phone or text her back.

Chapter Twenty-Six

As sick as Summer had gotten of hearing about the pep rally all week and how important it was, nailing the dance routine in front of the school had given her that rush that made it worth the fight to keep performing. Bonus, Kendall had gotten permission for them to skip first period to practice the routine and help the cheerleaders set up, which had saved her from an awkward Troy encounter. That drama was going to have to wait. Today was about getting her friendship with Ashlyn back on track.

As the students spilled out of the bleachers, Summer searched for Ashlyn’s face among the crowd.

“You looked good out there,” Summer heard. She turned and saw Cody. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped closer. “Look, Summer, I’m sorry about how messed up everything’s gotten with us. I feel like an ass.”

“Well, you’ve been an ass, so that seems appropriate,” she said. His face dropped, and she decided she should try to say something nice. After all, she’d had her jerk moments, too. “I guess we both made some mistakes.”

He stood there, nodding, looking like he wanted to say more.

Summer felt obligated to fill in the awkward silence. “So….good luck on the game tomorrow.”

“Thanks. It’s gonna be a tough one, but don’t worry; we’ll come out on top. By the way, you guys looked great out there, getting your dance on. I’m sure you’ll do awesome at the State Competition.”

For all the times she thought he was simply ignoring her when she talked about dancing, it appeared he actually knew how important it was to her. Maybe eventually, they could even be sorta friends. “Thanks, Cody.”

Jenna walked up, snaked her arm around Cody’s waist, and glared at Summer. “I’d appreciate it if you stopped trying to throw yourself at Cody.”

Summer blinked, the accusation taking a moment to register. “We were just talking, so you can go ahead and take it down about twenty notches.”

“It was no big deal,” Cody said. “Really.”

Jenna stepped forward, shoving her face in Summer’s. “I don’t buy that innocent act. I’m not going to stand by and watch you try to steal my boyfriend.”

“Oh, like you didn’t hit on him when I was out of town, back when he was still my boyfriend.”

“Don’t blame me that you don’t know how to keep your man. You’re just jealous because it’s obvious how much more satisfied he is with me.”

Summer clenched her teeth. “If you thought he was so satisfied, you wouldn’t feel the need to come over and go crazy on me for just talking to him.” Heat was rising through her body and her muscles were tensing. She shook her head. “You know what, you’re not worth it.”

Jenna shoved her, sending her stumbling backward. Summer barely managed to keep her balance. Her mouth dropped and the thin strand of control she had on her temper started to fray. Cody was tugging at Jenna, obviously trying to get her to walk away, but she was yelling and pushing him, acting like she was going to come at Summer again. “Don’t defend her,” she yelled at Cody, fighting to get around him. “I want to settle this right here, right now.”

“If I were you, I wouldn’t touch her again.” Ashlyn stepped up next to Summer and glared at Jenna.

And just like that, Summer didn’t care about Jenna or the fact that she’d shoved her anymore. Ashlyn cared enough to defend her, and that was all that mattered. “It’s okay, Ash. Let’s just go.”

“You think I’m scared of you because you’re twice my size.” Jenna pulled away from Cody. “Bring it on, fatty!”

Thoughts fled; the thread snapped. Summer lunged at Jenna, planning on doing a lot more than shoving. Cody cut her off just before she could get her hands around the girl’s neck, keeping himself between them.

“You think I’m scared of you?” Jenna shrieked. “You’re lucky Cody’s holding me back.”

Ashlyn yelled something at Jenna that Summer couldn’t make out because she was trying to break away from Cody, Jenna yelled back, and Cody repeatedly suggested everyone calm down.

“All of you, get to the office now!” Mrs. Crawford bellowed. She and another teacher pushed their way through the crowd that had gathered.

Summer turned to Mrs. Crawford. “But she’s the one who—”

“Not another word!” Mrs. Crawford jabbed a finger toward the exit. “To the office. Now!”

Mrs. Crawford marched Summer, Ashlyn, and Jenna down the hall into the office. She pointed to one side of the room. “Jenna, you sit over there.” She turned to Ashlyn and Summer. “You two over there.” She told the secretary to make sure they stayed on their opposing sides before disappearing into the principal’s office.

The anger that’d been pumping through Summer cooled a few notches. Okay, so maybe lunging at Jenna wasn’t the smartest move. She swore she’d never be one of those ghetto chicks who got into a fight at school, yet here she was, awaiting punishment.

She glanced at Ashlyn. “Thanks for coming to my defense,” she whispered. “I know it’s only been a few days, but it seems like forever. I really missed you.”

Ashlyn put her hands over her heart. “I missed you, too. I’m sorry I’ve been so dumb.”

“I was dumb, too. You can make your own decisions. I just care about you.”

“I know,” Ashlyn said, sounding like she might cry. “Let’s never fight again.” Her gaze flicked to Jenna. “With each other.”

Jenna’s eyes widened, and Summer threw her hand to her mouth to cover her laughter.

“I wonder how much trouble we’re in,” Summer said, trying to see through the office window—Mrs. Crawford had never liked her. Right now, the woman was probably painting Summer as the troublemaker, even though this was the first time she’d been at trouble in school. Besides the ripped pants thing.

Ashlyn shrugged. “My mother will probably consider a fight exercise. Maybe she’ll come in and talk Mr. Strider out of punishing us.”

Summer laughed again, and Ashlyn joined in.

Mr. Strider walked out of his office, flanked by Mrs. Crawford. The intense glare the principal shot them put an abrupt stop to their laughter.

* * *

Dad paced back and forth in front of the couch. “What’s gotten into you lately? I thought you were getting better, then you lie to me, and now you’re fighting at school. It keeps getting worse and worse.”

“She shoved me first, though,” Summer said. “And I would have let it go, but then she said something horrible to Ashlyn. I couldn’t walk away after that.”

“While I understand that made you mad, it’s more than what happened today that has me worried. I know…” He ran a hand over his face and sighed. “I know you’ve got some unresolved issues with your mom’s death still. I thought you’d pulled out of it, but now…Maybe you need to talk to someone. A professional who’d know how to help you better than I can.”

Summer imagined how that would go. Yeah, I have issues because I see the Angel of Death on a regular basis. Oh, and I see people dying before they actually die. It’s also my fault that my mom’s dead. Basically, I’m obsessed with death. So what do you think about that?

“Please, Dad, don’t make me talk to anyone. I just have a lot of stress right now.”

Dad sat next to her. “You can tell me about it, you know. Give me something, because, honestly, I don’t know what to do with you anymore.”

Summer shook her head, blinking back tears. Where would she even start? Gabriella? Her failure to make peace with Ashlyn and her mom? The recent revelation that she’d delayed Mom enough to get her killed?

Dad leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and hanging his head. “If your mom was here, she’d know what to do.”

Her breath quickened, and then she just blurted it out. “It’s my fault. It’s my fault that Mom’s not here.”

He slowly raised his head and looked at her, his brow furrowed. “Summer, don’t talk like that. You couldn’t have done anything about your mom.”

“I could have, though! I knew something bad was going to happen, and I begged her to stay, but she went anyway. If I would’ve kept her home or let her go, everything would’ve happened differently.” Tears lodged in her throat. “Instead, I kept her just long enough to be in the store with that man. It’s my fault she’s dead.”

Summer winced, waiting for him to storm out, or for him to yell and ask her why she did that. She deserved it.

She deserved a lot more.

“You can drive yourself crazy with the ‘what ifs,’” Dad said, voice calm. “I keep thinking that I shouldn’t have gone out of town that morning. That if I’d decided to stay home instead of attending that training conference, all of us would’ve been doing something together. That maybe I would’ve been there at the store with her so I could’ve saved her or taken her place.” He swallowed thickly. “But it doesn’t change anything. It just hurts more, and I think you’ll agree it hurts enough without adding to it.”

“But, Dad, I knew something bad was going to happen. Sometimes I get these…” Flashes. Visions. She couldn’t say it. Not aloud. “These very strong feelings that something bad is going to happen. It’s more powerful than a gut feeling. I had one, and I still let her go. I asked her to stay, but I should’ve told her about my instincts. I should’ve tried harder.”

Dad shook his head. “Don’t do that. I don’t want you blaming yourself for the actions of that man. He’s the one who went in with a gun. He’s the one who pulled the trigger.”

“But if I could have stopped her from going, then she wouldn’t have been there.”

“Your mom was very headstrong. Sometimes we’d be in the middle of a conversation or a night out, and she’d have to go somewhere. She said she knew someone needed her help right then and there, and she’d up and leave. Just like that.”

“Did you ever find out where she went? What she was doing?”

Dad looked at Summer for what seemed like forever. “After we’d been dating for several months and were starting to talk about marriage, you mom told me she got very strong feelings, kind of like what you just said, that someone needed her help. At first I joked that she was Superwoman or some other masked avenger. She didn’t laugh, though. Simply asked me to be understanding when she got them, because she had to help, whatever it took. I knew bigger forces than me and her were at work.”

Dad put his hand on Summer’s shoulder, his eyes meeting hers. “I know this might sound crazy to you, but I feel like your mom had a special job to do here. She never said how or who she helped, but she’d come home and tell me that she’d succeeded. Sometimes she’d tell me she was struggling to help somebody. It was like she was a guardian angel to people when they needed one.”

“Not exactly a guardian,” Summer said. “More like a helper.”

“She told you, too?”

Summer shook her head. “Not exactly.” She bit her lip, nervous to hear Dad’s answer, but knowing she needed to ask the question. “You didn’t think she was crazy?”

“Your mom was gifted, not crazy.”

Summer let out the breath she’d been holding, letting what Dad said wash over her. A spark of hope in the dark—a spark she needed so badly she wanted to chase it and cling to it. Gifted. Not crazy. “After everything she did, aren’t you mad a guardian angel didn’t help her when she needed it?”

“I was at first, but I guess after the shock wore off and I had some time to think, I decided she must be needed on the other side more.”

Summer’s heart felt like it wanted to escape from her chest. He didn’t think Mom was crazy. It was time to let him in on what she could. “Dad, I get this strong feeling that Ashlyn needs my help. Please don’t ground me. I’ve got to follow my instincts.”

He pressed his lips together, and she worried she shouldn’t have said anything. “You’ve got to find a better way to help her than getting into fights at school.”

“Okay. Instead of these giant muscles”—she flexed to add to the joke—“I’ll try to use this giant muscle.” She pointed to her head.

“Your brain’s an organ, not a muscle.”

“Aw, Dad. You’d get along with these guys I know. They like to throw out nerdy facts like that, too.”

Dad smiled, but it was only fleeting. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Summer thought for a moment. “If you could talk Mr. Strider out of my suspension from the dance team, that would make my life at school easier. Kendall’s going to be so angry. State’s only a little over a month away.”

“Sorry, kid. You got yourself into that mess, and you’ll have to find a way out of that one on your own. I won’t ground you, but there are going to be extra chores I’ll expect you to do. Especially once you finish helping Ashlyn.”

Summer supposed that was only fair, even if part of her wanted to argue. “Thanks for understanding.”

“You know you can always talk to me, and as much as I know you’re going to fight it, Tiffany’s a good listener. She knows much more about girls than I ever will.”

“You’re not suggesting I tell her about my…” Summer searched for the right word. “Instincts?”

Dad shook his head. “No, we don’t want her to think you’re crazy.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You know what I mean. That’s a lot to lay on someone. I’m saying she has experience with relationships. She has four sisters. Think about it.” Dad’s expression turned solemn. “And I don’t want you blaming yourself for what happened to your mom. If she said she had to go, she had to go. It’s not your fault.”

Summer wished that made her feel better. All she could think about was that Mom’s conversation with whoever she helped should’ve taken place in the parking lot, where the gunman wouldn’t have shot her.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Knowing things between her and Troy were going to be weird, Summer waited until last minute to jet into chemistry and take her seat. Mr. Jennings started his lecture, and she had to force herself to keep her eyes glued to her notebook instead of glancing at the boy across the aisle.

“Was it worth it?” Troy whispered.

Is he talking about our kiss? She was going to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of her. “What are you talking about?” she whispered back.

“Fighting Jenna over that loser. The whole school saw it happen. I can’t believe you keep going back to him. I really thought you were smarter than that.”

Summer glanced at Mr. Jennings. Since his attention was still on the board she swiveled to face Troy. “Apparently, I’m not smart. I go for all the wrong guys. But you know what? At least Cody never kept a string of girls.”

A crease formed between Troy’s eyebrows. “That doesn’t make any sense. Every time I think I’ve got you figured out, you prove me wrong.”

Summer blew out her breath. “The fight wasn’t about Cody. In fact, I was going to walk away, but then Jenna said something mean to Ashlyn. That’s why I got into a fight. Now, I have enough crap to deal with without you telling me how dumb I am, so—”

“Troy and Summer, are we bothering you?” Mr. Jennings asked, making Summer jump. “If you have something important to say, please let’s hear it.”

Summer turned to face the front of the room. “Sorry.” She was already on probation. If he sent her to the office, she’d be kicked off the dance team for good, and nothing would convince Dad that she’d listened to his speech last night.

“Summer, why don’t you move behind Steve since you and Troy can’t stop talking.”

Ew. Not Stinky Steve. Slowly, she started to gather her belongings.

“I’ll move,” Troy said, picking up his books and heading to the other desk. As frustrated as she was with him right now, she appreciated his sacrifice of taking the seat behind Steve. It was almost enough to make her ignore all the other girls and just hope he’d narrow it down to her someday.

Almost.

Kendall and several of the other girls from the team surrounded Summer as she put her books into her locker. “You can’t dance for two weeks?” Kendall asked, her voice a couple octaves higher than normal. “Are you trying to sabotage the team?”

Summer turned around to face them. “I want to dance. You think I’d keep going to practice even though you all gang up on me if I didn’t want to be on the team?”

Lexi crossed her arms. “This is your way of punishing us.”

“Yes, I planned Jenna Cambell pushing me just to spite you guys.”

“What happened to you?” Kendall asked, running her gaze up and down Summer. “You used to be cool.”

“Yeah, when I wasn’t being myself. When I let you push me around. Look, I’m going to keep practicing the routine, I just can’t practice with you guys.” Actually, getting lost in the music and the dance moves without the girls tearing her down would be kinda nice.

Kendall narrowed her eyes on Summer. “I hope we don’t have to make any changes.”

“Then I’ll have to learn the new moves when I get back,” Summer said. “That seems like it would be a lot of extra work.”

An evil grin spread across Kendall’s face. “I guess we better pull in an extra girl in case you don’t make it back.”

Kendall was obviously watching for Summer’s reaction; Summer was determined not to give her one. “Do what you feel you got to do,” she said before moving past Kendall and the rest of the girls. She wasn’t going to waste any more time on these girls. Her real friends were in the cafeteria, waiting for her.

By the time she made it to the Misfits’ table, she’d cooled down some. It would suck to be kicked off the team, but if it happened, she’d live. Somehow.

“So guess what?” Ashlyn said as soon as Summer sat down across from her. “I have a date tomorrow night. Matt and I are going out.”

“It’s about time,” Summer said.

Ashlyn’s gaze drifted over Summer’s head. “Hey, Troy. Are you going to join us for lunch today?”

Even though Summer told herself not to look, she couldn’t help it. Troy stared at her as though he hadn’t expected her to be was sitting there. “Uh, not today. But I’ll see you guys around. Ashlyn,” he said with a nod. “Marcie, Nelson, Darren, Aaron.” Nod, nod, nod, nod. His eyes met hers, but he didn’t say her name or nod, just held her gaze for a beat and then walked away.

“Goodbye to you, too, Troy,” Summer said. “Thanks for the obvious snub.”

“What was that all about?” Ashlyn asked, eyes wide. “It was like he was shocked to see you or something.”

Summer threw her hand up. “Who knows with that guy? He’s in a mood, or has somewhere to be, or just…Who knows?” Yeah. That’s what she was going to stick with. Still, she kept remembering how he’d moved in Chemistry so she wouldn’t have to. How there was a flicker of…hurt? in his green eyes just now. Ugh, she needed to put him out of her mind.

Focus, Summer, focus. You’ve got bigger fish to fry.

Hmm. Bigger fish? She opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Ashlyn said, “What phrase are you contemplating now?”

“How did you—?”

“You get this scrunchy eyebrow face,” Ashlyn said. “It’s either about your food choice or sayings, and you’re already eating your Doritos, so…”

Summer laughed. “You know me so well it’s a little scary, but in the coolest scary way ever. I was thinking about the ‘You’ve got bigger fish to fry’ saying. I mean, why would you start with the big fish? Wouldn’t it make more sense to go little?”

“You’re on your own with that one. I don’t like fish at all. Or this sandwich. Yuck to the eggplant turkey combo, as if there was any doubt that it’d suck.” Ashlyn tossed her food aside and reached for her Diet Coke. “So, you’re coming to my place after school, right?”

Summer grinned. “Since I can’t practice and we got banned from the ballgame, I guess I have nothing better to do.”

“That makes me feel special.” Ashlyn pointed to her heart. “Right in here.”

Summer laughed again and then turned to Marcie. “You know you’re free to join us anytime, right?”

“Thanks for the offer, but my mom needs me to help out at home. I do want to do something right now, though.” Marcie turned to Aaron and Darren. “Whip them out, guys.” Aaron, Darren, and Nelson scooted closer to Ashlyn, Marcie, and Summer. “We got bored in our art class today. So we made these.”

Aaron dropped several chess pieces on the table. “We decided to make everyone pawns.”

“See, because it works on many levels.” Darren picked up one of the pieces. “We’re all just pawns against the man. We can trade up for something better. All of us are on equal footing. Pick anything. It all goes.”

Aaron studied the pieces and passed them out. “This one’s you…that one’s you. We’ll give Troy his some other time. Here’s yours, Summer.”

Summer held out her hand, and he placed the pawn on top of her palm. They’d glued blond, curly hair on top, then drawn in her face. The Misfits was written across the bottom.

“It’s okay if you throw it away,” Aaron said after he’d passed them all out. “We know it’s nerdy, but we had fun making them look like everyone.”

Summer curled her hand around it and held it to her chest. “Are you kidding me? This is awesome, and I’m going to find a special place to show it off.”

Marcie grinned at everyone. “I think it’s nice to belong to a group, even if it is the Misfit Group.”

“I love being in the Misfit Group.” Looking around at her friends, Summer nearly teared up thinking about how lucky she was to have the supposed rejects in her life.

After another half day of classes that ticked by at a snail’s pace, Summer headed out of the school and bumped into Troy—he seemed to be everywhere. “Why is Jenna draped all over your boyfriend?” Troy asked, jerking his chin toward the spot where Jenna and Cody were kissing in the parking lot.

“Newsflash I already gave you forever ago, we broke up,” Summer said. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But you said…” Troy shook his head, the confusion on his face clear. “There was that whole comment about how psyched you were that he didn’t have a string of girls.”

“That comment was directed at you.”

Troy’s eyebrows lowered even further. “I don’t understand.”

“Think about it.” This time, Summer got to be the one to walk away without looking back.

* * *

“Is your mom home?” Summer asked as she and Ashlyn neared the front door. Since they hadn’t parted on the best of terms, Summer was a little nervous to see Pamela again.

Ashlyn shook her head. “She won’t be home until late tonight. Isn’t that great?”

A lead weight formed in Summer’s gut. Not wanting to see her was one thing; it being impossible for her and Ashlyn to interact at all was another. With each passing day, the sick sensation taking over Summer’s stomach got worse. Her stupid instincts told her that she needed to hurry.

When they got to Ashlyn’s room, she pulled out her drawer of CDs—it was beautiful, all those colors and titles, the hours of musical possibilities. “So what should we listen to today?”

“Whatever. I prefer something with a strong beat, but I trust your taste in music.”

“Okay, I’ve got a confession. It’s my darkest secret, and if you ever tell anyone, I’ll have to hurt you.”

That certainly caught Summer’s attention. “Spill.”

“I’ve got a secret stash of pop and hip-hop. Usher, Rihanna, and—cough—3OH!3. I don’t even put them on my iPod because I’m afraid someone will see it and accuse me of not being as cutting edge as I think I am.”

“Oh, Ash. A boy band with an exclamation point in the name?” Summer shook her head, mocking disappointment. “You don’t have Jonas Brothers in there, too, do you?”

“Of course not!” Ashlyn bit her lip. “But I do have…” She lifted a CD out of the drawer. “Selena Gomez. I bought it in junior high—I can’t be responsible for my lingering Wizards of Waverly Place love. It’s a sickness, really.”

“Actually, I have a couple of songs from that album on my laptop—it’s catchy as hell. I say throw on the 3OH!3, already. We can’t be cutting edge all the time. And really, it’s for the love of dancing. That makes semi-stupid lyrics okay.”

Ashlyn got the music running and turned it up loud.

Summer bobbed her head to the beat. “Troy would be so disappointed in us right now.” She didn’t want to think about him, but she couldn’t help it.

“What’s up with you and Troy anyway?”

Summer shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s a hard person to figure out sometimes.”

“Probably even harder to figure out if you like him.” Ashlyn sat next to Summer. “You do, don’t you?”

“I think I do.” Her chest tightened. “No, I don’t think. I do. A lot. I think about him all the time, and when he’s around other girls it makes me crazy.” She bit her thumbnail. “Time for my confession…” She looked into her best friend’s pretty face, so glad she could finally talk to her about this. “I kissed Troy a few days ago.”

Ashlyn’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! So?” Her eyes lit up in that same way Kendall’s used to when they used to gossip, but she’d never tell Ashlyn that, because she wouldn’t understand it was okay they had some similarities. “You kissed him and then what?”

“And then I saw him flirting with that girl he’s always with,” she groaned, flopping dramatically back on the bed. “I was the one who initiated the kiss… And now I feel like an idiot. It’s obvious he doesn’t like me like that, and it’s all awkward and messed up. After witnessing the fight at the pep rally, I guess he thought I was back with Cody, and since he hates the guy, we had a fight about it in chemistry. Then there was lunch. You saw how that went.”

“Summer, you idiot, Troy likes you.” Ashlyn grinned at her like she hadn’t just insulted her. “Not just likes you, but he’s crazy about you. I can tell by the way he acts whenever you’re around.”

“We’ve been friends for a while, though, and nothing’s ever happened. Even if he does like me, he’s always flirting with other girls, and I refuse to stand in line. If he wants to do something about it, he will. If not, I’m not going to.”

Ashlyn tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. “But if you haven’t told him how you feel, then how will he know?”

Summer pushed herself onto her elbows. “Ash, I kissed him. I basically threw myself at him, so trust me, he knows. Now enough about me. Let’s talk about what you and Matt are going to do on your big date tomorrow.”

A dreamy look crossed her features. “I’m not sure what exactly we’re doing, but I’m pretty excited. And a little nervous. Then I tell myself not to get my hopes up.”

“I say get your hopes up. If he’s even kind of smart, he’s going to fall so hard for you.” The second she said it, an icy bucket of realization doused her happiness. And then there will be one more person who’s crushed when you die.

No. Because I’m gonna stop it.

No matter what it takes.

* * *

Summer felt it coming seconds before it happened. “Hah!” she shouted as Gabriella materialized in her bedroom.

Gabriella stumbled back, bumping into Summer’s dresser, her hand over her heart. “Goodness, gracious!”

“Now you know how it feels. I sensed it this time before you could scare me.”

“I was never trying to scare you.” Gabriella took a few deep breaths and straightened, running her hands down her skirt. “I’m glad you’re sensing it, though. It shows improvement.”

“I think that’s the first compliment you’ve ever given me.

Gabriella sat on the bed next to Summer. “We need to talk.”

“I know it’s getting closer, and I’m trying,” Summer said. “I’ve had a few setbacks, and Pamela wasn’t even there tonight, but I swear I’m working on it. Just give me some more time.”

“It’s not about that. It’s about the talk you had last night with your dad.”

“Oh, that. I’m sorry, but I wasn’t sure what I all I could tell him. I didn’t mention you, and my mom had already told him enough that he kind of knows what’s going on, so—”

“Summer Dear, just be quiet and listen for a second, okay? This is really important. I should’ve put it together when I talked to you the other day, but I was preoccupied. There had been this mix up, and I missed an ‘I’ in one of the names and she almost…” Gabriella shook her head. “Never mind that. What’s important is…” She reached out and took Summer’s hand. “Your mom didn’t die because of anything you did or didn’t do. Once you get those visions, you can’t change them. You getting them means that person is already on their way to the other side. You can’t stop it.”

“But if I would’ve told her about it, at least we could’ve said goodbye.”

“Most Ciphers don’t actually see the deaths like you do. It’s a very rare gift. Doesn’t it seem like it’s happening more and more?”

Summer thought about the guy falling asleep at the wheel. The man breaking into the house. “It’s starting to get overwhelming. The nightmares are the worst.” A chill ran down her spine, and she shuddered.

“You’re drawn to those people,” Gabriella said. “Without even meaning to, you find people who are near the end. In time, you might learn to simply offer an encouraging word—nothing to change their paths, just a warm smile or kind word before they die. Your great, great grandmother had that same gift. Your mom only sensed it coming. Debra got her message to go help, and she had great intuition about how to fix the situation, but she didn’t usually stay until the end. She resolved it and then moved on. Sometimes—like on her last case—Debra met the people only days before the end. That was her gift, to work fast. Yours is to see what’s coming.”

“I don’t want it. It makes me feel awful.”

“When this is over, we’ll try to figure out how to help you deal with that. Right now, we’ve got to keep focus. Just know that it was your mom’s time to go. You couldn’t have stopped it. Okay?”

“Okay,” Sumer said, still feeling like it wasn’t.

“What’s your gut telling you?”

“That I can’t think about anything else until Ashlyn and her mom reconcile.”

“Good. Go with that. You know what to do.”

The minute the idea popped into her head, Summer decided it was the only way. “I’m going to tell them it’s coming.”

Gabriella’s face dropped. “You can’t. That’s not how it works.”

“Why not? It’s simple. I’ll tell Ashlyn and her mom what I know, and they’ll have to make up.”

“I’m telling you that you can’t do it like that.” Gabriella’s voice took on a frantic edge. “If all of our Ciphers told their charges they were going to die, it would be total chaos. People need to have faith. Hope.”

“You keep saying it’s my job, and I’m gonna do it however I can. I’m not letting Ashlyn down, even if I have to scare her and her mom first.”

There was practically glittery steam coming out of Gabriella’s ears. “You think you know better than thousands of years of experience?”

Summer shrugged, determined this was the way. “Maybe things need to get shaken up.”Gabriella’s watch chimed, and Summer was actually glad for the interruption this time. She didn’t want to listen to Gabriella go on and on about what she was supposed to do. It had never helped her before.

“You know that means I’ve got to go, but this is the wrong way to approach the subject. If you simply realized that I know what I’m doing, we’d avoid a lot of this stuff we don’t have time for. I’ll explain more later, but you can’t tell Ashlyn or her mom that she’s going to die.”

Oh yeah? Watch me. Tomorrow morning after she and Ashlyn went surfing, she was going to tell her and Pamela the truth. Then they’d have no choice but to talk to each other.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ashlyn secured the surfboards to the top of her car. “Troy called this morning and asked if I wanted to catch some waves with him and a few friends. I told him I already had plans with you.”

“Good.” Summer pulled her hair into a bun.

“Can’t we just invite him to come along with us?”

“I don’t want to deal with the weirdness, but if you’d rather go surfing with him, you can.”

Ashlyn climbed into her car and waited until Summer got in to continue. “Of course I’d rather go with you. You make me feel like a pro surfer.”

“Thanks a lot,” Summer said with a laugh. She tossed her bag and towel into the back seat. “I probably should get my own board if I’m going to go surfing all the time.”

Ashlyn backed out of her driveway. “I never use the one you’ve been using, so I really have no problem with you borrowing it. In fact, you can have it.” She waited for a car to pass, then entered the flow of traffic, turning down the road that would take them to their usual beach spot.

Obligatory by Unicorn Stench came over the car’s speakers. “Ugh. Troy ruined this song for me,” Summer said. “Now it makes me think about him.”

“You want me to change it? I’m thinking a little Finding Me is in order.”

“Finding Me seems appropriate right now.”

Ashlyn blasted the song, and they belted it out right along with the band who had helped bring them together.

You have to decide what you’re going to do and who you’re going to be.

And I’ve found that I’m better off being me.

I’ve found myself no thanks to you.

And I don’t need you to be me anymore.

Because I’m finding me

I won’t let you use me. I won’t let you in anymore.

I’m finding my own way, I’m stronger than before.

And I don’t need you to be me anymore

Because I’m finding me

The lyrics hit Summer as she sang along. Her friendship with Ashlyn had helped her figure out who she really was. Had helped her find herself when she was lost. She owed Ashlyn more than she could ever repay. Just a few more hours and I tell her and Pamela the truth.

She wanted to slow down time and speed it up, all at the same time.

Fresh ocean air wafted over Summer as she climbed out of Ashlyn’s car, and again she thought how much she loved this place. She froze when she spotted Troy, already on the beach. A couple of guys and three girls were standing by him. One of the girls had her arm around him. The chocolate doughnut she’d had this morning turned sour in her stomach.

“See what I mean?” Summer pointed down at the beach. “He’s always got a girl hanging all over him.” She wasn’t sure if she should feel better or worse that he was with a different girl and not the volleyball player again.

Ashlyn glanced from Troy and his group, back to Summer. “You want to go up shore a bit?”

“No, it’s fine.” Summer pulled the long board off the car’s roof. “Let’s just go get in the water.” Where I can forget about Mister Bond and all his many women.

Summer and Ashlyn made their way down the wooden steps to the sand. Summer held her board to try to hide her from Troy and his group, hoping he wouldn’t notice her trying to sneak past, but no such luck.

“Sunshine! Ashlyn! Glad you decided to come catch some waves with us.” Troy walked over to Summer, leaving whatever girl he was talking to minutes ago looking all sad and bewildered. “So, do you have another riddle for me?”

Summer raised an eyebrow. “Did you figure out the first one?”

“No. I can’t figure you out at all.”

“Troy,” the girl whined. “I thought you were going to teach me to surf.”

“Sounds like you’ve got to go.” Summer started to turn as she threw out, “Later.”

Troy grabbed her arm, stopping her mid-stride. He moved so close his bare chest bumped her shoulder, and then he lowered his lips to her ear. “You’re the one who kissed me then ignored me for days. I don’t understand why you get to be mad.”

Her heart pounded out a rapid rhythm, and her skin blazed every place it touched his. Finally she met his green eyes—a mistake, really—but she managed to find her voice again. “You’re right. Look, I didn’t mean to mess up our friendship. I wish we could go back to the way things used to be. Before I . . . ” Her gaze dropped to his lips. She swallowed, the action taking way more effort than usual.

“That’s what you really want?” he asked, his eyes never leaving hers.

Words wouldn’t come, so she nodded.

“Okay then.” Troy ran his fingers down her arm, and then they were gone, and he was stepping back. And she was hating herself, even as she was telling herself it was good she’d been strong—she was never letting another boy walk all over her, even one she cared about as much as Troy. “Maybe I’ll catch up with you in the water.”

The girl Troy had been next to earlier was shooting daggers at Summer. Summer looked from her back to Troy. “I’m guessing you’ll have your hands pretty full.” She readjusted her board then moved over to Ashlyn. They walked a few more yards down the beach, where there was a nice open spot.

Ashlyn pulled at the sleeves on her wetsuit. “So, as I stood there, feeling out of place and awkward while you talked to Troy—thanks for that by the way—”

“Sorry,” Summer said.

“It’s okay. You two were pretty lost to the world there for a few minutes. I did happen to notice that you didn’t exactly tell him how you felt, though.”

“What was I supposed to do? Plant one on him right there in front of his date and tell him to pick me instead?”

“Did you give him any hint at all?” Ashlyn asked.

Summer stared out over the endless blue-green waves. “I said I wanted things to go back to the way they were before I kissed him.”

“Liar.”

“Hey!” Summer kicked water at her, and Ashlyn dodged it with a laugh. “Are we going to surf, or are we going to talk boys?”

Ashlyn smiled an up-to-no-good smile. “I choose boys.”

“Liar.”

“You’re right. Let’s surf. I don’t want to think about boys until I’m freaking out about my date.”

Summer dropped her board into the water. “Until then.”

* * *

This was it. The moment she was going to inform Pamela that her daughter didn’t have long to live. It wasn’t going to be easy. In fact, there was a good chance she might puke before she got out the words. But then she’d explain how she was going to try to stop Ashlyn’s death—she’d tell her that they should still prepare for the worst, though. It had to work. It just had to.

Sucking in a giant breath, Summer walked into the kitchen, where Pamela was sitting on a barstool, ever-present water bottle in front of her. She stepped right in front of Ashlyn’s mom and told herself to be strong, no matter what. “I have to tell you something.” Well, the tremble in her voice wasn’t as strong as she wanted, but she’d gotten out the words.

Pamela dropped her fitness magazine onto the counter and glared up at her. “Oh goody. More advice from a teenager.”

“It’s just that Ashlyn… Ashlyn is going to…” Summer’s tongue felt too big for her mouth, and the words wouldn’t form. No sound came out when she tried again. Twice more, and nothing still, even when she attempted to shout it. She literally couldn’t tell her.

Fine. I won’t say it okay? Summer silently pleaded with whoever was listening.

Her throat relaxed her tongue felt normal again. Summer rubbed her tight jaw, while Pamela sat, staring at her, not bothering to hide how annoyed she was. She searched for something else to say. “Ashlyn is going to be nervous for her date, and I was hoping you could tell her how awesome she looks right before she leaves. You know, since I won’t be here to amp her up.”

“Sure. I’ll tell her.” Pamela’s expression made it clear she thought the request was ridiculous, but maybe it would be enough to squeeze a compliment out of her anyway.

“Thanks.” Summer grabbed two Diet Cokes out of the fridge. On her way back to Ashlyn’s room, she worked to clear her mind. Maybe if she took a more spontaneous approach she’d have more luck. “Here’s your Coke.” Summer set one can on the dresser, then popped hers open.

“This shirt?” Ashlyn held a black top over her T-shirt. “Or this one?” A purple scoop-neck top replaced the black.

“Ashlyn, you’re going to—” Summer’s throat tightened, and her tongue felt too big, the same way it had when she’d tried to tell Pamela. That was as spontaneous as she could get, and it still hadn’t worked.

“I’m going to what?”

Clearing her throat gave Summer the needed seconds to recover and think of something else. “You’re going to look awesome in either.”

“I think I’ll go with the purple. Help me choose some shoes.”

Summer moved to the closet and stood next to Ashlyn. A variety of shoes lined the floor. “Comfy or looks?”

“Looks, of course,” Ashlyn said. “Don’t you remember how shallow I am?”

Summer smiled and pointed to the black boots with the four-inch heels. “Those then.” The heels should make her feel awesome, even if her mom failed to. “You’re wrong, though. You’re not shallow.”

“So now would probably be the wrong time to tell you I rented that boxing movie with the hot guys, planning to watch it on mute?”

“Well, as long as I’m invited to watch it with you, I see nothing wrong with that.”

Ashlyn grinned at her. “Who would help me fill in the voices if you’re not here to help?”

“See, that’s not shallow, though. That’s just good, wholesome entertainment.” Summer took a swig of her soda. “You get me, Ash. Not a lot of people do, but you and I are like…” Summer made the eye-to-eye signal.

“We’re like ninjas,” Ashlyn said, holding her hands up in her best ninja stance.

“Right.” Summer laughed. “Exactly like ninjas.”

Ashlyn grabbed her Diet Coke off the dresser and popped it open. “I can’t believe we’ve only been hanging out for like, what is it? A little over a month now?”

“Sounds about right.” Summer knew all too well how much time had passed. Too much time. Weeks without making any progress.

“It seems like forever. In a good way. I missed you like crazy those few days when…Well, all that stupid stuff happened that I don’t want to think about.”

“Aw, I missed you like crazy, too.” Unexpected tears formed in Summer’s eyes, and she quickly blinked them away, hoping Ashlyn didn’t see them. “It pisses me off to think of all those months we spent not being friends. All that wasted time.”

Ashlyn held up her can. “A toast. To not wasting any more time and making sure our last year of high school rocks.”

Summer clanged her can against Ashlyn’s, unable to say anything for fear her shaky voice would give away the intense sadness that had settled over her. Now she needed a new plan. Judging from the horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, it needed to be sooner rather than later.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

When Summer awoke, a pounding headache accompanied the churning in her stomach. She’d fallen asleep fully dressed, without dinner—she barely remembered coming home yesterday. She’d felt ill the entire drive from Ashlyn’s, her mind spinning to come up with a new plan, and fast.

Groaning, she sat up and looked around. I wonder how Ashlyn’s date went last night. Her cell wasn’t on her dresser or her nightstand. It wasn’t in her pocket either. Must still be in my car.

She stood and stretched her arms over her head. “Whoa,” she said when her reflection greeted her. Her curls were out of control, her eye makeup smudged. She wiped off all the leftover mascara she could without help of soap and water and slipped on her flip flops.

Dad came out of his room as Summer entered the hall. “You seemed pretty out of it last night when I got home. You okay?”

Summer covered a yawn with her hand. “Uh-huh. Just catching up on all the sleep I’ve missed lately, I guess.”

“Tiffany’s coming over in a few minutes. I’d appreciate it if you at least spent some time with us before running off.”

“I was planning on heading to Ashlyn’s.”

Dad’s shoulders slumped, giving him that whole deflated look. She didn’t have a lot of time, but she supposed she shouldn’t push away her family while trying to fix someone else’s. “But not till later,” she said. “So I can spend a few hours with you and. . . Tiffany.”

“How ‘bout I take us all out to a nice Sunday brunch, then?”

“As long as you’re not cooking, I’m down for whatever.”

Dad mocked hurt. “Hey.”

“I love you and all, but man, you’re an awful cook.” She gave him a consoling pat on the shoulder and then jerked her thumb toward the stairs. “I left my phone in my car. I’m gonna go check the messages, and then I’ll come back in and get ready.”

The awful churning in her stomach got worse as Summer headed downstairs. It’d bothered her ever since Gabriella showed up, but this was different—a twisting torture she felt nothing would fix except figuring out a way for Ashlyn and Pamela to get past their issues.

Chilly morning air greeted her as she opened the door. Whoa, I need a jacket before facing that. Her blue hooded sweatshirt sat crumpled in a ball next to the door. It was something Mom would’ve hated but Dad never commented on. In fact, his jacket was there, as well.

Summer tugged the hoodie over her head and zipped it up. Armed for the chill, she opened the door and crossed the lawn. She came around the driver’s side of her car and stopped dead in her tracks. The front tire was completely flat. “Ugh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Not wanting to deal with it right now, she reached inside her car and grabbed her phone. There was a missed call from Troy—curious—and a text from Ashlyn.

Had a good time. Tell you all about it tomorrow.

It was a little early yet, so Summer figured she’d wait to text Ash back. She closed her door and squatted to examine her tire. She was running her hand over the rubber when she heard Tiffany’s car pull up. Without at least a shower first, she wasn’t near cheery enough to greet her, so she stayed down, waiting for her to go inside.

“Need some help, Sunshine?”

She jumped, the motion nearly toppling her backward onto her butt. “Holy crap, you scared me,” she said, trying to get her racing pulse back under control. She slowly stood to face him. Then, remembering her ragged appearance, she ran a hand down her hair.

“Sorry,” Troy said. “I thought you heard me.”

“I thought you were Tiffany.”

“I get that a lot,” Troy said, flashing her that killer smile of his.

It was bad enough that things with him had gone downhill. Even more frustrating that his smile still sent butterflies swirling through her stomach. But did she have to look like a complete mess when he came over, too? “What are you doing at my house so early? It’s the weekend. You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“That means you are, too.”

“I went to bed early last night. Yeah, my Saturday night was that exciting.”

Troy leaned against her car, crossing one ankle over the other. “I tried to call you.”

“I left my phone in my car last night. I was expecting a call from Ashlyn, so I came out to get it, and then I saw my tire was flat.”

Troy held out his hand. “Give me your keys. I’ll help you change it.”

The keys clanged together as she handed them over. “Careful. I’d hate for you to accidentally spray yourself in the face with my mace.”

“Somehow, I doubt that. You’d probably find it amusing.”

It was impossible not to smile at that. “Maybe a little.” Summer followed him to the trunk, trying to not think about how horrible she looked. I bet none of his other girlfriends ever look like this. Of course, I’m just his friend.

Troy popped the trunk, uncovered the spare, and handed her the jack.

“So, why’d you call, anyway?” Summer asked.

Troy heaved the tire out of the trunk, the muscles in his arms flexing with the effort. “I wanted you to see a show.”

Summer followed him as he rolled the tire to the front of the car. “Some new obscure band?”

“Yep.” Troy set the tire down and held his hand out. “Jack, please.”

Summer handed it over. “What are they called? Maybe I’ll impress you with my knowledge of them.”

“I doubt it. Last night was their first show. They’re called Pieces of Flair.”

“Sounds cool. What do they play?”

Troy twisted the handle on the jack, lifting her car off the ground with each rotation. “A few covers, a few original.” He glanced up at her and said, “I hear the drummer’s cute, and I know that’s important to you.”

She tried to make out his expression, the way the corner of his mouth was twisted up. “Is that a jab at me? I’m not really sure what we’re talking about anymore.”

“It’s the band I’m in.”

“You’re in a band? I knew about the drums, I just—Oh, I get the drummer comment now.” Honestly, she’d always crushed on drummers. Lead singers, guitar players—they were all good—but there was something about a cute drummer.

“Kevin, Tiny, and I have been playing together for a while now. We had our first gig last night, and I wanted you to come down and hear us play.”

All the pieces clicked into place. The way Troy and Kevin paid so much attention to how bands set up at Equinox. Tiny calling him aside in the hall.

Troy went to work with the wrench, taking the lug nuts off the tire. “I wasn’t sure if we were still in a fight or not, though, so I called. Then when you didn’t answer, I decided to come on over and see how bad of fight we’re in.”

“Like I said, I fell asleep early, so I didn’t get your message. I told you yesterday that we were fine. That I wanted to be friends still.”

“Yeah, but your parting comment seemed more like a jab.”

Summer remembered the stupid girl with him, and annoyance welled up in her again. Unable to think of a way to explain herself, she decided to move on. “I’m not mad at you, I swear.” I’m just jealous. She crossed her arms, trying to warm herself up. “You care that much if we’re in a fight?”

“Of course I do. You’re one of my favorite people. I hardly saw you all summer, and it sucked. Even when we’re fighting, you at least keep it entertaining by giving me riddles to solve.” He shot her a smile. “I prefer the laughing and joking to the fighting, though.” He twisted off the last of the lug nuts and it clinked against the others as he set it down. “So, why can’t we seem to get along anymore?”

Summer shrugged. “Would you feel better if I said I’m going through a lot right now?”

Troy removed the flat tire. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing, really. Just personal stuff.”

“So that’s a no. You were mad when I was hiding my stuff from you. That’s why I decided to let you in on my drumming obsession. I’m finally admitting it to people, all except my mom, of course. I know I can’t hide it from her forever, but I’m going to hide it for as long as I can.” He glanced over his shoulder at Summer. “Not that I think she’ll punish me; I’m just scared of hurting her.”

“I get that. And I’m glad you told me.” Of course thinking of that day made her remember how she’d thrown herself at him and how wrong everything had gone after that. Needing a distraction, she propped up the spare tire for him.

Troy lined it up and placed it on the car. Summer handed him two lug nuts, then started twisting on the others herself. After they were on, Troy tightened them with the lug wrench and used the jack to lower her car back to the ground.

He gathered all the tools and stood. “Well, your tire’s fixed.”

“Thanks.”

She followed him when he walked back to her trunk and put the tools back in her car. He closed the trunk and turned to face her. “You promise we’re good?”

“I promise.”

Troy tapped her nose. “Good.”

Tiffany’s BMW pulled up in the driveway. She climbed out and waved at them. “Hello, Summer and…?”

“Troy,” Summer filled in. “Troy, Tiffany.”

“Nice to meet you,” Troy said.

“You, too.” Tiffany squinted. “What’s all over your nose, Summer?”

Summer turned to Troy. “You put black on my nose?”

He held his index finger and thumb together. “Little bit.”

She gave him a playful shove before turning back to Tiffany. “Troy was helping me change my flat tire. You can go on in. The door’s open. Can you just tell my dad I’ll be in in a few?”

“I’d be happy to.” Tiffany smiled at them again—giving them the Aren’t they adorable? look—then headed inside.

Using her sleeve, Summer tried to rub the black off her nose. “As if I’m not enough of a mess. I still need to shower and get ready so I can go to brunch with Tiffany and my dad.”

“I’ll let you go then,” Troy said.

“You can come in and wash up if you want.”

He rubbed his hands on his pants. “I’m good. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

Troy started toward his Jeep.

“Hey, Mister Bond?”

He turned to face her.

“Let me know when Pieces of Flair gets another gig. I’d like to hear them play.” She paused before adding the last part, wondering if it was a bad idea, then going ahead and saying it anyway. “Especially if the drummer’s as cute as he’s rumored to be.”

Troy grinned, proving just how cute the drummer really was. “I’ll let you know.”

She watched him get into his Jeep and pull away. The fluttering in her chest almost eclipsed the horrible feeling in her stomach.

But the farther away he got, the sicker she felt.

* * *

Summer decided to see if food helped her stomach. She’d ordered the works—eggs, French toast, bacon, and hash browns—but she exchanged the hash browns for fries.

Her eyes wide, Tiffany watched Summer shove a handful of fries in her mouth. “I knew teenage boys ate like that, but I had no idea girls did, too.”

“I never had dinner last night,” Summer said, feeling like she needed an excuse to be eating so much.

“And she can eat me under the table on a normal day.” Dad grinned. “It makes me proud.”

“You sure know what to say to make a girl feel special.”

“That’s my job.” Dad looked from her to Tiffany. “So, hon, I was thinking you could tell Summer about how you got over fights with your sisters. More how you resolved them than the actual fights.”

Tiffany demurely wiped her mouth with a napkin and smiled at Summer. “Oh, we were always getting into heated arguments. One time my sister Tess and I had this fight over a boy…” Tiffany went into all the gory details, ending with how they decided the boy was a slacker who wasn’t worth fighting over.

It didn’t really help Summer. She hoped she never had to deal with a situation like that. The thought of doing this kind of job again—of ever having to repair another relationship—drained her.

“…and any time we got into fights my mom made us do dishes together,” Tiffany said, on to her next story. “That forced us in a room together, and by the time the last dish was put away, we had usually worked it out. Is any of this helping?”

Not really.

But then an idea hit Summer. She had a personal experience she could share. She knew what it was like to lose somebody. She just needed to apply that knowledge to Ashlyn and Pamela. In a roundabout way, Tiffany had actually helped.

“You’ve helped a lot, Tiffany. Thanks.” Summer turned to Dad. “Are we about ready to wrap this up? I want to get over to Ashlyn’s and see how her date was.” She exaggerated the next few words. “I think it would be very helpful to her.”

Understanding crossed Dad’s features, and he nodded. “I can’t eat another bite. I’ll get the check, and we’ll go.”

Summer whipped out her phone and sent a text to Ashlyn, asking if she could come over and hang out.

Her phone beeped within seconds.

Movie’s all queued up. Shirtless boys. Boxing. Bring your A game.

Summer certainly hoped this was her A game. This plan was more like her A-Z game. It better work because she had nothing else. Hope filled her, though, renewing her, making her feel like she could do this. This was going to work.

* * *

“Spill it,” Summer said the second she walked into Ashlyn’s room. “How was the date?”

Ashlyn’s face lit up. “He took me to eat at the Green Flash. At first it was a little awkward, but once we got talking, the conversation started flowing. We laughed, we talked. At the end of the night, he walked me to the door and gave me a kiss on the cheek.”

“Ooh, very gentlemanly.”

“Gentlemanly.” Ashlyn’s eyebrows drew together. “That word sounds very ungentlemanly. Is it even a real word?”

Summer shrugged “It’s probably not a word Matt would appreciate, so I won’t go spreading it around at school.”

“So what did you do?” Ashlyn asked. “I texted you when I got home, but when I didn’t get an answer, I figured you were busy.”

“I fell asleep—that’s how exciting my night was. I also left my phone in my car, and guess who showed up at my house when I went to get it? I was in my pajamas, no shower, no makeup—actually, strike that—I had smeary leftover makeup on. I looked absolutely awful.”

Ashlyn leaned in. “Who?”

“Troy! I mean, who just shows up at nine o’ clock on a Sunday morning?”

“A guy who’s so crazy about you that time doesn’t apply.”

Summer clicked her tongue. “Stop. I’m already messed up over the boy. I don’t need help in adding to my delusions that he actually likes me. Anyway, my tire was flat, so he helped me change it. And by help, I mean he did most of the work while I watched.”

“And that doesn’t convince you he likes you?”

“He’s just a nice guy.”

Ashlyn pressed her lips together. “Summer, you need to tell him how you feel.”

“I can’t.” Just the thought of telling him that she was crazy about him was enough to give her heart palpitations. “Besides, he should know.”

“He’s a guy. You have to tell them straight up.”

“Things are finally patched up between us, though. If I say something, I’ll just mess everything up again.” Summer grabbed her soda and took a large swig. “Let’s start this movie so I can think of something besides Troy.”

“Your wish is my command.” Ashlyn pressed play, then hit fast forward. “We’ll just watch the parts where they fight—Oh, here we go. Hot guys with no shirts.”

The two of them watched the guys sparring on screen. “See, when I move my feet like this,” Summer said in her best guy voice, “no one can hit me.”

Ashlyn took over for the more experienced fighter. “I’m the all-knowing mentor. I can hit you with my eyes closed. I sense when you need a punch in the face.”

The guy onscreen got hit in the nose, but kept advancing. “Hits don’t faze me.” Summer lifted her hands like she was boxing, too. “I’m a tough guy with a rugged past.”

Another hit. Blood poured from the cut over his eyebrow.

“Your past won’t mean much unless you remove the hate and fight for honor,” Ashlyn said. “Nothing is more powerful in a fight than honor.”

“Um, I’d just like to point out that doesn’t make any sense. Your fists are hurting me much more than your honor.” Summer couldn’t add anything else, because she started laughing too hard.

“Oh, now it’s boring talking with shirts on again. I’ll find us another fight scene.” Ashlyn picked up the remote and buzzed through a couple more scenes. They added their own special flare and dialogue until the credits ran up the screen.

Summer leaned back and put a hand on her stomach. “I think I got as much of a workout from laughing as any of those guys did boxing.”

“I’d like you to tell that to my mother,” Ashlyn said. “I’m curious to see where she ranks laughing on the workout scale.”

It was the perfect transition for Summer to say what she needed to say. “So, I know things with your mom are kind of tense sometimes—”

“Kind of. Phft. Talk about understatement.”

“Okay, really tense. But you’ve got to tell her how you feel. Tell her that her comments hurt you. Have a real conversation with her.”

“Not this again,” Ashlyn groaned. “Why are you always trying to talk to me about my mother?”

Things were flowing so easily now. “Because I know what it’s like to not have one. Do you know how many times I wish I could get one last day to spend with my mom? She always told me how much she loved me, but I didn’t say it enough to her. In fact, sometimes I thought it was exhausting how much she said it to me.”

Besides Troy, Summer hadn’t told anyone how her mom had died—the guilt and sorrow of even thinking about it was always too much. She blinked at the tears forming, fighting to keep her composure. “Ash, my mom walked into a convenience store, and some guy decided to rob it while she was inside. You know how much he got away with? A little over six-hundred dollars. That’s how much my mom’s life was worth to him. He shot her and another lady, then turned the gun on the cashier.”

Ashlyn reached out and squeezed Summer’s hand. “Did they catch the guy?”

“Finally. And as I sat through his trial, all I could think about was how he took my mom away from me. I just wanted one more day.” More tears welled up in her eyes. “But it would never be enough. I could keep asking for one more day for the rest of my life.” She lifted her gaze to Ashlyn’s. “Instead, we have to make the here and now count.”

Summer sniffed, a fabulous side effect of the tears. She moved into Ashlyn’s bathroom and grabbed a tissue. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so emotional on you.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m going to go get a glass of water.” Summer walked across the room to Ashlyn’s bedroom door.

“I can get it,” Ashlyn said.

“I’ll be right back.” Summer walked down the hall and into the kitchen. She opened the cupboard and grabbed a glass.

Pamela walked in as Summer was filling it with water. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I was talking to Ashlyn about my mom. She was shot during a convenience store robbery.”

Pamela’s eyes got big. “I…I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“Sometimes I miss her so much that it seems like the sadness will crush me. The one thing that gets me through is remembering all the times my mom told me how much she loved me. I know you hate how I keep telling you to talk to Ashlyn, but this is why I feel so strongly about it. You never know when you won’t get another chance. Please, tell your daughter how much you love her.”

Afraid adding any more would only detract from what she’d already said, Summer headed back toward Ashlyn’s room. If that doesn’t work, I just don’t know what will.

###

“I better go home, but thanks for the awesome day.” Summer took a deep breath. After her breakdown, she’d recovered, and she and Ashlyn had gone back to laughing and talking. She couldn’t leave without driving the point home, though. “So, you’re going to talk to your mom, right?”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Ashlyn crossed her arms and locked eyes with Summer. “I’ll talk to my mother if you talk to Troy. And not just talk. You have to tell him how you feel about him.”

Summer shook her head. “I can’t do that. It’d be so uncomfortable.”

“You think it’s going to be easy for me to talk to my mom?”

She’s got me there. “Fine. We’ve got a deal. You first, though.”

“Fine.”

Thinking of all that had happened, of having no regrets, Summer decided to take her own advice and let her friend know how much she cared about her. “You know that I…Okay, I’m just going to say it. I love you, man. Girl. You know what I mean.”

Ashlyn smiled at her. “I love you, too. Thanks for being such an awesome friend. Enough of a friend to worry about the kind of relationship my mother and I have. Even if it’s also a pain in my butt.”

Summer leaned in and gave her a quick hug. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Count on it,” Ashlyn said.

As Summer drove away from Ashlyn’s, she mumbled the first prayer she’d offered since Mom died. “Please, please let them work it out.”

Chapter Thirty

To cut down on her confrontations with all the people who now hated and mocked her, Summer normally arrived at school last minute these days, with barely enough time to grab her books and get to class. But first thing this morning, Ashlyn had sent a text saying she wanted a few minutes to chat before school. After Summer’s mad dash to get ready, she buzzed to the school—obeying all traffic laws, of course. She pulled into the parking lot with twenty minutes to spare.

The sight of Ashlyn sitting on the hood of her car made Summer smile. Even though they’d spent most of yesterday afternoon together, she couldn’t wait to talk to her again. She got out of her car and hiked her bag up on her shoulder. “Hola, chica! What’s up?”

“I’ll tell you what’s up.” Ashlyn grinned, her whole face lighting up. “You have to talk to Troy.”

For a moment, Summer could only blink. Excitement started to take hold as what that meant sunk in. “Really?”

Ashlyn slid off the hood. “Yep. I did it. I talked to my mom yesterday after you left, and we ended up talking until midnight. I laid it all out, how much her words cut me, and instead of getting mad, she apologized. Then we started talking, like really talking, all the subjects we usually avoid. I feel like I finally understand her. And learning more about her life made me understand why she is the way she is.”

A calm, peaceful feeling washed over Summer. She’d figured out a way to help. She even noticed that Ashlyn was calling Pamela mom. Usually she spat out the word mother like it was a disease.

“I guess both of her parents died young,” Ashlyn said. “Her dad had a heart attack, and her mom was diabetic. After they died, she was determined to always live healthy, and when she had me, she wanted me to be healthy, too. When I explained that I tried, but it was harder for me, she started crying—I’ve never seen her cry before. She told me she wanted me to feel good about myself. She told me she thinks I’m beautiful, inside and out.”

Ashlyn’s voice got a little shaky, then she took a deep breath and smiled at Summer. “In fact, after school we’re going to the mall to buy some clothes that fit and flatter. No losing weight required. I tossed those stupid diet pills this morning.”

“Rock on!” Warmth spread through Summer’s chest, and she couldn’t stop smiling. This story was getting better and better by the second.

“Mom also said that lately she’s noticed how hollow and empty some of the people she works with are. She said the qualities she saw in me were much more important than weight—that’s a compliment coming from my mother. She even mentioned you, stating she could see what a good friend you were. I swear, we just talked and talked. I’ve never had more fun. And I was hanging out with my mom.”

“I’m so happy for you. I really am.”

“I don’t even know how to thank you.” Ashlyn threw her arms around Summer and pulled her into a giant hug. “I don’t even care if this starts more lesbian rumors.”

“Bring ‘em on,” Summer said as she squeezed back.

Ashlyn’s on a stretcher, oxygen mask over her face.

A paramedic shouts, “Okay, clear!” He uses the paddles to shock Ashlyn. Her body jerks wildly, then nothing. The paramedic tries again. No response. The small heart rate monitor flat lines, echoing through the back of the ambulance as the paramedics drop everything.

Ashlyn lies there, motionless, her face drained of color.

“She’s gone,” he says.

“No, no, no, no.” Panic dug its claws into Summer’s chest. This couldn’t be happening. She wouldn’t let it.

Ashlyn pulled back and studied Summer’s face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m really happy for you.” Summer frantically looked around, making sure no cars were coming to mow Ashlyn down. “I never dreamed it would happen so fast. I thought it would take you guys days, weeks even, to reconcile.”

“Who knows how long it will last, but things are really good right now. So you want to go to the mall with us when we go? I can’t wait to get some new clothes that fit right. Real shopping without the side of guilt.”

Just give them time to go shopping. Let them enjoy their time now. Another week. Another day.

“Seriously, Summer, you look like you’re going to cry.”

Maybe they’d have time to do it. Just because she’d seen Ashlyn dying didn’t mean it was close. Just because the others had happened soon after didn’t mean they always did.

“Hey, girls,” Darren said, raising his signature-covered blue cast.

Aaron stuck out his lower lip and gave them the nod. “’Sup?”

“We’re getting amped for a fabulous day of learning,” Ashlyn said, pouring on the sarcasm.

See, she’s fine. She’s joking; her color’s good. It’s going to be okay. Still, Summer couldn’t relax. Hysteria coursed through her veins, and she glanced around like a paranoid lunatic, watching, waiting. Preparing to change it somehow.

“You know, knowledge is power,” Darren said.

“GI Joe, right?” Summer asked, having a hard time focusing.

“That’s, ‘Knowing is half the battle,’” Aaron said.

Darren pushed his glasses up his nose. “I was quoting Sir Francis Bacon, actually.”

“Mmm. Bacon sounds good.” Summer nudged Ashlyn. “What do you think, Ash?”

Ashlyn clutched her chest. “Ouch. That was weird.” She shook her head and continued toward the school. “I don’t think I’ve had real bacon for years. Mom prefers the turkey kind. You know what we should do tonight? We should all get together and—” Her hand shot to her chest again.

Summer watched in horror as Ashlyn’s face contorted in pain. She bent over to catch her breath like she’d done back on the beach. Her breathing slowed.

Then she fell to the ground.

Summer dropped to her knees. She heard Darren and Aaron talking about getting a nurse or calling 911, but it was all fuzzy and detached. She shook Ashlyn’s shoulder. “Ashlyn, come on. Take a deep breath. Do something.” She wasn’t going to let this happen. If there were a God, Angels, Ciphers, there could be miracles. Ashlyn deserved a miracle.

“Please don’t go yet. There’s so much I want to do with you. We can change this.” Despair twisted around her heart, and tears stung her eyes. “You fight like hell, I’ll fight like hell, and we won’t let this happen.”

Ashlyn only groaned in response.

People started to gather, staring at Ashlyn crumpled on the sidewalk. Summer wanted to scream at them to all get away. This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening.

Summer focused on Ashlyn, trying to figure out what she needed to do to help her. She watched her chest slowly rise and fall…

Rise and fall…

Nothing.

“Ashlyn!”

She wasn’t breathing, and Summer’s mind spun as she tried to remember the CPR training Dad had forced her to take a couple years before. What were those steps? Think, Summer, think. You know how to do this.

“Tilt the head back,” she whispered to herself as she tilted Ashlyn’s head. “Pinch the nose and cover their mouth with yours.” Summer blew two long breaths in. She rocked back onto her feet. Now thirty pumps.

Positioning her hands over Ashlyn’s chest, she started the compressions, counting in her head.

Sirens blared in the background, getting louder and louder. Summer sensed more people gathering around but was afraid to look up. Blocking everything else out, she repeated the CPR steps again. She had to get Ashlyn breathing again before the paramedics tried to take her.

Time slowed.

Each second dragged.

The world fell quiet as Summer concentrated all her efforts on keeping Ashlyn breathing. If I can get her breathing again, it’ll all be okay.

The ambulance screeched to a halt a few yards away. Paramedics burst out of it, running in her direction. Summer recognized them—she’d seen them when she’d seen Ashlyn die. No way I’m letting them take her.

“Move aside, miss,” one of them said.

Ignoring him, Summer leaned down and blew two breaths in and started pumping again.

“You’ve done a good job,” the same guy said. “Now let us do ours.”

“Summer, move away so they can help.” Troy had broken through the crowd of people and was staring down at her and Ashlyn.

I’m not moving. The second she gets in that ambulance it’s over. She kept pumping. Eighteen, nineteen…

“Move back!” The paramedic raised his voice. “Someone get her away from here!”

Arms encircled Summer’s waist, pulling her away from Ashlyn. “Get off me!” Desperation tore through her heart, ripping and tearing until her chest felt like a gaping wound. She tried to pry the hands off of her, but the grip remained firm. “Let me go!”

Troy’s voice filled her ear. “The paramedics are going to help her. Just let them do their job.”

“You don’t understand.” Tears blurred her vision. Her breaths were coming faster and faster. “She’s going to die. We can’t let them take her in the ambulance.” Summer lunged at the paramedics as they strapped Ashlyn on the stretcher. “Stop! Don’t take her!”

Troy pulled her back, holding her against him. “She’s going to be fine. They’ll know what to do.”

“She’s not going to be fine. I’ve seen it. If she gets in the ambulance, she’s dead.” She twisted around in Troy’s arms and met his gaze. She didn’t even care if he thought she was crazy, as long as he helped her keep Ashlyn out of the ambulance. “Troy, please don’t let them take her. If they take her in the ambulance, she’s going to die. Don’t let her die.”

Troy hugged her to him. “It’s going to be okay. I know you’re scared, but it’s all going to be okay.”

“But it’s not. You don’t understand.” Summer glanced back and saw the paramedics loading Ashlyn into the ambulance. “Please, help me. Don’t let them take her.” She pushed her hands to his chest, desperate to break free. “At least let me go so I can stop them. Please, Troy. Please.”

The doors of the ambulance closed.

“It’s going to be okay,” Troy said again, keeping his arms tight around her.

The vehicle took off, sirens blaring. Summer’s body slackened, Troy the only thing keeping her from falling to the ground. “I don’t like this job, I don’t like this job, I don’t like this job.”

“What job?” Troy asked.

Everything inside her turned icy cold, and at that moment, she wished for the ground to swallow her whole so she didn’t have to feel or think or be. “I can’t believe she’s dead. I couldn’t stop it. I really thought I could stop it.”

Troy didn’t say anything; he simply squeezed her tighter. She buried her head in his chest and sobbed. In the background, she heard teachers instructing students to get to where they needed to be. She knew she wouldn’t be going to class today. She didn’t even know if she could walk anymore.

“Everybody needs to get to class,” a female voice said, closer this time. Summer didn’t bother looking up to see who it was. “We’ll update you as we receive word.”

“We’re friends of Ashlyn’s,” Troy said. “Just give us a few minutes.”

The woman sighed. “Okay, take your time,” she said. The sound of shoes against the sidewalk got quieter and quieter before dropping off completely. The area that had been buzzing minutes ago was now painfully quiet.

Summer stepped back, not bothering to wipe her tears off her cheeks. “I’m going home.”

“You can’t drive right now,” Troy said. “You’re too—”

“I’ll be fine.” Summer dug in her bag and retrieved her keys.

Troy took them out of her hand and held them behind his back. “I’m driving. We can go to the hospital and wait for word on Ashlyn.”

Another stab of pain shot through her chest. “She’s dead, Troy. I couldn’t change it.”

“You can’t talk like that. We’ve got to stay positive. Besides, think about her mom. We need to be there for her.”

That stopped Summer. She was so caught up in her grief over losing her best friend that she forgot about Pamela. Ashlyn was all Pamela had in the world. She supposed it was still her job to help Pamela with the closure. “Okay. Let’s go to the hospital.”

Troy reached out and took Summer’s hand in his. “I’m sure Ashlyn will be fine.”

And I’m sure she won’t.

* * *

Troy drove them to the nearest hospital. When Summer bent down to get her bag, she saw the brown Diet Coke stain on her floor mat. Her eyes burned as new tears formed. “That’s where Ashlyn spilled her drink. It was so”—sniff—“funny.”

Summer leaned her head on the dashboard and started crying all over again.

Troy placed his hand on her back. “Soon you guys will be laughing again. The doctors will patch her up, and things will be okay.”

“You don’t get it. The paramedics tried to shock her heart, but it wouldn’t start beating again. Ashlyn is already gone.”

“They didn’t shock her heart,” Troy said, his voice soft. “They loaded her onto the stretcher and brought her here so that she can get the medical attention she needs.”

“They shocked it in the ambulance. It didn’t work, though.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do, okay!” Summer yelled.

The two of them sat in silence for a minute, only the noise of her sobs filling the air. The dash wasn’t exactly comfortable, but Summer couldn’t seem to lift her head off of it. Instead, she stared at the floor. Stared at the brown stain that ripped out her heart. When she heard Troy get out of the car, she figured she’d pissed him off enough that he’d decided to leave her there.

Then her car door opened, letting a waft of cool air in.

Summer twisted her head to look up at Troy. He didn’t say anything, simply extended his hand. She took it and let him pull her out of the car. Hand in hand, they entered the hospital. Troy walked up to the desk and asked about Ashlyn. Since they were a couple of teenagers with no relation to the patient, the receptionist was less than forthcoming with the details.

Through the fog in Summer’s mind, she sensed Pamela before she came in. Seconds later, Ashlyn’s mom burst through the doors of the hospital, looking harried. Gaze trained on the receptionist, she made a beeline for the front desk. “Where’s my daughter? I was told the ambulance brought her here.”

The receptionist took down her name and told her she’d get someone to update her. Pamela turned around and seemed to notice Summer for the first time. She blinked at her. “Summer? What happened? Is Ashlyn okay?”

The lump in Summer’s throat made it impossible to respond. More tears were all that came out.

“They took her in the ambulance,” Troy said. “They wouldn’t tell us anything when we got here.”

Finally, Summer found her voice. “We were just walking, and she collapsed. I tried CPR. I tried everything I knew, but I was too late.”

Troy wrapped his arm around her and hugged her to him. “Summer did CPR until the paramedics took her. She did a really good job.”

Tears streamed down Summer’s cheeks, and she wondered if she’d ever run out. It didn’t feel like it. It felt like she’d cry forever.

“Are you Mrs. Moore?” A man in scrubs asked.

Pamela turned toward the man. “I’m Miss Moore. Ashlyn Moore is my daughter.”

The man took a deep breath. Even though Summer knew what he was going to say, she allowed herself a glimmer of hope. “We tried to revive your daughter in the ambulance,” he said. “The paramedics used the paddles, but they couldn’t get her heart beating again. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that can’t be right,” Pamela said. “She’s only seventeen-years-old. How could this happen?”

“We’ll let you know more as we do.” The man turned and walked away, taking all hope with him.

Pamela shook her head. Summer could see the realization of Ashlyn being gone sinking in, ripping her up inside, the way it had done to her. “She can’t be…” Tears bordered her eyes, then she turned and embraced Summer. “She just can’t. I was finally getting to know her better.”

“She was so happy this morning,” Summer said. “Last night meant so much to her.”

“But I was too late. I didn’t even get a chance to do all those things with her that I promised we’d do.”

Summer searched for the right words. “What’s important is she knew you wanted to. She knew you loved her.”

Convulsions shook Pamela, and Summer was afraid she’d pull the both of them to the floor. She moved Pamela over to a chair and sat her down in it, then sat in the one next to her. Troy took the chair on the other side of Summer.

They sat like that for what seemed like an eternity.

Chapter Thirty-One

The birds outside the window chirped, sounding way cheerier than this day deserved.

Summer groaned when she sensed Gabriella. “Not you. I’m not in the mood.”

“Well hello to you, too,” Gabriella said, her voice also sounding too cheery. “You certainly know how to make me feel welcome.”

“You’re not welcome. I wish you’d never come into my life in the first place.” She felt Gabriella’s hand on her shoulder, but she continued to stare outside at the stupid sunshine.

“I know you’re upset, but you did very well. Everything was resolved before she passed on.”

Summer whipped around. “She died. I hate you for taking her. And I hate whoever gives the orders.” She glared until tears blurred her vision.

“I know this is hard. But you made a big difference in Pamela’s and Ashlyn’s lives. I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I’ve never seen a Cipher make the connection you did. Not only did you help her resolve her relationship, but you gave her a new relationship. You take those memories with you. Your mom was amazing at the short jobs. It looks like you have a gift for the longer ones.”

Summer shook her head. “I can’t do this over and over again. I can’t get attached only to see them die. It’s too much.”

“We understand that,” Gabriella said. “We’ll give you some time before the next assignment.”

“I don’t want another.” Summer wiped at the tears running down her cheek. “Ever.”

“Well, someone is going to need you in the future, and I know you’ll help them like you did Ashlyn. By the way, even from Heaven, she’s not going to forget about your promise to her.”

“Promise?”

“She talked to her mom. You need to talk to that boy.”

Summer dropped onto the foot of her bed and stared at the spot on the wall where the paint was flaking. “I kill people. I can’t have a boyfriend.”

Gabriella sat next to her. “Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t kill people; you help people. Ciphers are perfectly capable of having good relationships. Your mom had your dad.”

“My dad lost his wife.”

Gabriella sighed, wrapped her arms around Summer in a side hug, and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll visit you later, when you’ve had a little time to recover. But you really should keep your promise. You owe it to Ashlyn. You’d hate to have any unresolved business, wouldn’t you?”

“Nothing personal. You seem like a lovely person-angel-thing and all, I’d just rather you not visit for a really long time.”

“You might find you miss me when I’m gone. And at least next time it won’t be so hard because you’ll have experience under your belt.” Gabriella stood and smoothed her hand down her skirt. “One last thing. Your mom wants me to tell you that she’s proud of you and she misses you. Then she wanted me to add one last thing.” Gabriella tapped her lip. “Let’s see, the exact wording was, ‘Be good. You’re awesome. I love you.’”

Just when Summer didn’t think she had any more tears left, fresh tears filled her eyes. “Tell her I love her back. And that I miss her like crazy.”

“It’ll be nice to deliver a message like that for a change,” Gabriella said. “Goodbye, Summer Dear.”

“Goodbye, Gabriella. I’m sorry that I yelled at you earlier, and just… Thanks for all your help.”

Now Gabriella looked like she was going to cry. As always, her outline glittered for a few seconds before she disappeared.

A growl rumbled through Summer’s stomach. Seeing people’s deaths always zapped her of her energy. The last thing she felt like doing was eating, but she knew how sick she’d get if she didn’t. So she dragged herself downstairs to the kitchen to see what they had to eat.

She found a twenty stuck to the fridge with a note from dad.

Order yourself dinner. There’s a new package of Oreos in the pantry. Call if you need anything.

Love you, kid

Dad

After the school had called and informed him Summer wasn’t in class, Dad had called her cell. When she had trouble completing a sentence, Troy took over and filled him in on all that’d happened. He’d offered to skip his meeting in LA and come home early. Summer knew he’d been prepping for the meeting for weeks, though, so she assured him she’d be fine.

Now she wished he was here.

On autopilot, she picked up the phone and ordered a pizza. Needing a distraction, she headed to the living room and turned on the television. Already Summer was dreading the nightmares that came after a vision—especially since they’d involve her best friend’s death. In honor of Ashlyn, Summer had ordered a liter of Diet Coke to go with her pizza. Hopefully the caffeine would help keep her awake as well.

Ten minutes into a show she couldn’t focus on, the doorbell rang. “That was fast.” Summer grabbed the twenty off the coffee table and headed to the front door.

When she swung the door open, Troy stood in place of her pizza. “I came to keep you company,” he said. She wanted to hug him for knowing she needed someone, but she wasn’t sure she’d ever let go if she did.

“Come on in,” Summer said, stepping aside to let him in. “Pizza should be here soon.”

As soon as they were seated on the couch, the deal she made with Ashlyn kept going through her head. It seemed like such a weird time to tell him she was crazy about him, but guilt gnawed at her, pushing her to keep her promise.

“Summer,” Troy said before she could start her speech about her feelings. “Why did you keep saying that you hate your job? And how did you know that Ashlyn was going to die in the ambulance?”

If she told him that first, there was no way she could follow it up with how she felt about him. “We’ll get into all that in a minute. First, I have to keep a promise I made to Ashlyn. I need to tell you something.” Summer bit her lip, trying to think of the right way to say it. “I like you, Troy. More than just a friend. I know you might not feel the same way, and that’s okay, but—”

Troy leaned in and kissed her, cutting off the rest of her sentence. His lips were soft, yet insistent, and there was an edge of urgency to the kiss.

When he pulled back, she blinked at him, all her thoughts tangled up in his lips instead of whatever she’d been saying. But then she remembered. Confessing. Making things clear. And as much as she wanted to keep kissing him, she had more she needed to say. “Um, like I was saying, I like you, but I can’t stand in line with all your other girls. I’m not built that way.”

“You keep talking about these other girls,” he said. “But you’re the one who kissed me then avoided me for a few days. Then you topped it off with the just-friends speech.”

“That’s because I walked out of practice the day I kissed you and saw you talking to that girl you’re always with. The one who’s on the volleyball team.”

“Cara?”

Summer crossed her arms. “Yeah, her.”

“Her brother Kevin is in the band with me. She’s been finding us places for the band to play. She books the gigs; that’s it.”

“That’s not it. I’ve seen the way she is around you. Anyone could see that girl’s all about you.”

“I don’t know how she feels.” Troy locked eyes with Summer. “All I know is that I’ve been all about one girl for a long time.” Her heart swelled, and she wanted to believe him more than anything.

“What about the girl on the beach? The one who needed surf lessons?”

“That was Kevin’s way of trying to get me over you.” Troy grabbed her hand and tugged it free of her cross-armed position. “It didn’t work, though.” He lifted her hand and slid his fingers between hers. “Summer, I’ve liked you since the minute I met you. I used to feel guilty because I was dating Kristen and thinking about you. By the time I decided I needed to break up with her and try to wait a respectable five minutes to tell you how I felt, you were dating Studmuffin. Why do you think I hate him so much?”

Summer shrugged, his touch, her rapid heartbeat, making her blissfully dizzy.

“It’s because he was dating my girl. I was supposed to be with you, not him. I thought I’d get over it during the summer,” he said. “That lasted until I saw you again. Then every time I tried to talk to you about it, I couldn’t say anything right and we ended up fighting—the complete opposite of what I was going for, by the way.”

“Well, ever since you kissed me in the hall, I’ve been all messed up.”

A slow smile spread across his face. “I did want to help you out there, but I’ll admit it was a little selfish on my part. I wanted to kiss you for a long time, and I decided that might be my only chance. I’ve been miserable ever since.” He ran his fingers along her jaw. “It was almost better when I didn’t know how it felt to kiss you.”

This time, Summer initiated the kiss. He didn’t take long to join in, though, slipping his hand behind her neck and parting her lips with his. Where his last kiss was urgent, this one was more of a slow build, soft kisses that merged together in a delicious blur.

The doorbell rang, and Summer hesitantly pulled away. “I bet that’s my pizza.”

“I’ll get it.”

Summer handed him the money. “I’ll grab cups and plates and meet you back here.”

A clear conscious made Summer feel a little better—especially since admitting her feelings for Troy had ended up going so well. Part of her felt guilty for even kissing Troy on a day like this. But then she thought Ashlyn would’ve been happy. If only she could see her face light up when she told her. Hear her say I told you so. The hollow ache in Summer’s chest throbbed, a reminder that life would never be the same again.

She filled two cups with ice, grabbed a couple of plates and the package of Oreos, and headed back into the living room.

Troy set the pizza on the coffee table, and they filled their cups and plates. By the time they finished eating, Summer felt like she might just survive tonight after all. She’d have to worry about all the days following later.

Troy polished off the last of the soda. He sat back and pinned her with an ominous eyebrow raise. “Okay, so tell me about today.”

Looking at him, she thought that telling him how she felt first was a mistake. This was going to be hard, and she couldn’t help worrying about his reaction. They might never kiss again. “Are you sure you want to know? You’re going to think I’m crazy.”

Troy reached out and took her hand. “I want to know what’s going on. How did you know what was going to happen before it did?”

“You know how I told you I had a bad feeling about my mom leaving that day?” Summer asked. “The day she was killed?”

“Yeah, I remember you saying that.”

“When I hugged her that morning, I didn’t just feel something bad was going to happen…” She hesitated for a second, not sure how much she should divulge. But then Troy gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and she just blurted out the rest. “I saw her get shot. I saw her die. I tried to convince her not to go, but she went anyway. I thought maybe it was my imagination, but… Well she… I saw her death before it happened, Troy.”

“You’re saying that you’re psychic?”

“Not really. It’s hard to explain.” Summer took a deep breath. “I guess I’ll start at the beginning…” She told him about the man on the sidewalk, how it was like watching a few minutes of a movie in fast-forward. “For years I thought it was just my imagination running wild. I didn’t know it was coming true. Not for sure. Until my mom.” The pressure in her lungs grew until she was sure they’d burst. “After that day I was sure.”

Troy didn’t say anything, just continued to stare.

I knew this was a bad idea. I freaked him out. “I understand this changes things,” Summer said, wanting him to know it was okay if it was too much for him, even though she didn’t think she’d be okay if he left her.

“It doesn’t change the way I feel about you.” He brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “That must’ve been really hard. Seeing your mom…”

The burning started in her eyes again, and she clenched her jaw to try to kill the tears. “I wish I could’ve stopped her. I tried, but it didn’t matter. Like with the guy I yelled at after we left the record store. I saw him falling asleep at the wheel. That’s why I told him to wake up. To drink something.”

“Maybe he took your advice,” Troy said. “Maybe he didn’t die.”

“No. He died.” Summer remembered how mad Gabriella had been. “In fact, my advice almost killed other people.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do,” she said softly, without the anger she’d put behind it earlier today. “I guess I’m drawn to them, because it’s happening more and more. It happened again on the beach, the guy I ran into after we were surfing. That mean older guy…” The memory made her shudder. Especially when she remembered the nightmares she’d had afterward. “He broke into an old lady’s house, and she shot him when he tried to pull a gun on her. I didn’t try to stop him. Not only because he was armed at the beach, but because I thought the world would be better off. I guess that makes me a bad person.”

Troy squeezed her hand, his silver ring cool compared to the warmth of his skin. “You’re not a bad person. And it sounds like you couldn’t have done anything anyway.” He glanced down, the muscles in his jaw working. When he spoke, his voice was heavy with emotion. “How long did you know about Ashlyn?”

She breathed through the throb of pain brought by hearing Ashlyn’s name, the fact that Troy was so affected making it even harder to control her own emotions. Here was where things got tricky. It was one thing to share this so-called psychic ability; it was another to admit the Angel of Death was a frequent visitor. “I didn’t see Ashlyn’s death until today. When I hugged her, I saw her dying in the ambulance. I thought maybe if I could keep her out of it…” Her voice cracked and she couldn’t continue.

“She wouldn’t die,” Troy said.

She nodded.

He scrubbed his free hand across his face. “Wow, this is crazy.”

“I’m a little sensitive about the word ‘crazy’ right now.”

Troy pulled her into a hug. “Now I understand why your life has been so up and down. Your secret makes my secret band seem like a joke.”

“Does that mean you…believe me?”

Troy sat back, his eyes locking onto hers. “I believe you.”

“This is your chance to change your mind. If you don’t think you can handle all my baggage, I understand. We can go back to being friends.”

Troy rested his forehead against hers. “It would take a lot more to get rid of me.”

“Good, because I’ve been having a hard time just being friends.” Summer kissed him again, keeping it light because it was all she could handle right now. They settled into the couch, cuddling while watching television. Her head hurt from the hours of crying, and the ache in her chest was still there, but leaning against Troy, she felt safe. She even felt like someday she might be able to laugh again. “I don’t think I could’ve made it through today without you,” she whispered.

Troy curled her closer and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes, inhaling his familiar beachy and citrus scent. She basked in having his arms around her and listening to his heartbeat, wishing that she could stay like this forever.

Wishing that she didn’t have to deal with what would happen after he left.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Summer woke up and stared at her ceiling. I didn’t have any nightmares. She’d had calm, peaceful dreams. Sorrow still hung heavy in her heart, but the awful feeling she’d had in her gut for weeks was gone.

Her phone rang, and she reached over and grabbed it off her nightstand.

Kendall’s name flashed across the display. “Now that’s a name I haven’t seen in a while.” Summer answered and held it up to her ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, Summer.” Kendall was quiet for a moment. “I wanted to say that things might’ve gotten out of hand. When you chose someone over me, it hurt, and I decided to hurt you back. I never would wish this on you, though. I’m really sorry about your friend Ashley. I’m sorry about everything.”

Now didn’t seem like the time to correct Kendall on the name thing. “Thanks, that means a lot. And it wasn’t just you. I said some awful things, too, and I’m sorry. I wish it hadn’t gotten so ugly.”

“If you need to talk, you can give me a call. And I was also thinking that if you cried in front of Mr. Strider he’d let you practice a week early.”

Summer shook her head. She wouldn’t be Kendall if she didn’t throw one of her desires into the mix. “Thanks for the call, Kendall.” She said goodbye and tossed her phone back on her nightstand.

She contemplated lying in bed all day, but she knew from experience that didn’t make it better—it just left you too much time to think and re-hash everything. And cry and get more and more depressed. So even though it seemed impossible, you had to get up and go through the motions of living life. Days would pass, and, gradually, it would get a little easier. Then weeks. Months. Until one day you’d find you weren’t just going through the motions, but actually living again. Memories would still cause a dull ache, but occasionally they’d bring happiness, too.

All she had to do was take that first step.

A shower seemed like a good place to start.

When she came back from taking a shower, her phone had a new text from Cody. First Kendall, now Cody. It’s like I’ve warped back in time a couple of months.

Hey, I hope you’re doing okay. I’m here for you if you need me. Just not in front of Jenna. She gets really mad if I talk to you.

“Yeah,” Summer said. “I’d hate to be the cause of you not getting any.” Then she realized she didn’t care. Everything that had happened with Cody had led her to being with Troy, and things were so much better with Troy. She could open up, tell him things she’d never told anyone else before. He knew her—like really knew her—and he still accepted her for who she was.

She scrolled through her contacts, wanting to call Troy and hear his voice, but her phone rang again before she hit the call button.

This time, Ashlyn’s name came across her display.

* * *

Large bouquets lined both sides of the podium of the chapel. Summer’s knees shook as she walked toward the front. Pamela had called Summer using Ashlyn’s phone and asked her to go to the house. Wanting to help however she could, Summer had gone. When she got there, Pamela told her that the hospital called and informed her that Ashlyn had a congenital heart defect. They said it was something she was born with that probably got worse the older she got. It caused problems like shortness of breath and irregular blood flow.

All the times Ashlyn had trouble breathing after skateboarding or surfing had popped into Summer’s head. Pamela continued, telling her how if they would’ve known, they could’ve tried medication or even surgery. Of course the combination of diet pills and caffeine probably hadn’t helped the condition, either. The ‘what ifs’ were overwhelming, and while Summer couldn’t help thinking about them herself, she’d put her hand over Pamela’s and said, “You can’t do that. I’ve thought of hundreds of ways I could’ve kept my mom home the day she was killed, but we can’t change the past, no matter how badly we want to.”

As she’d said the words, she realized she needed to follow her own advice and let go of the guilt she’d been carrying around with her. Mom was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. Mom had made the best of the here and now, and Summer needed to do the same. She still didn’t know if she believed everything happened for a reason, but she knew she and Ashlyn were supposed to meet and that she needed to help Pamela through her loss.

And then Pamela had asked her for a favor. Which brought her to standing at the front of a tiny chapel, a sea of faces staring up at her, awaiting her words. Her notes were in her jacket pocket in case she needed them, but she was going to do her best to speak from the heart.

If only her heart wasn’t beating so fast.

“I’ve learned so much in the short time since I met Ashlyn,” Summer said into the microphone. “I’ve learned to be open to meeting new people. To get to know people, even if it’s tough at first. Most people, if you give them a chance, have something about them that makes them worth knowing.

“The first time I met Ashlyn—well, let’s just say it took me some time to win her over.” Summer smiled at the memory of trying to get to know the girl who ended up becoming her best friend. “Later, I found out that she wanted to keep her friends protected until she was sure she could trust me. Now that she’s gone, I can’t help but feel cheated that I didn’t meet her my first day here. That I missed out on the hours of friendship we could’ve had. But since I can’t change any of that, I’ll forever be grateful for the time I spent with her. Everyone who knew her will tell you how awesome she was. Ashlyn reminded me of who I was—the real me. She made me feel better about myself and made me want to be a better person. With Ashlyn, even doing nothing together was fun.”

Summer cleared her throat, trying to finish before the tears took over and she couldn’t talk anymore. “You never know what person will come into your life and change it. I’ll miss her every time I need someone to talk to.” The people got blurry, and Summer blinked, trying to clear her tears. “I’ll miss her every time I look out at the ocean and think about her dragging me into the water at dawn. But missing means she’s remembered, and she’s someone I’ll never forget.”

Summer walked back down the steps and took her seat on the bench with Tiffany, Dad, Troy and the rest of the Misfits, alternately smiling and crying the rest of the ceremony. As they came out of the chapel, Troy squeezed Summer’s hand. The sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky, keeping the fall day warm.

Pamela walked up to Summer and threw her arms around her. “Thank you for speaking today and for being such a great friend to Ashlyn. I’ve never seen her so happy. I swear, you’re an angel.”

Not quite, Summer thought. “If you ever want to talk about Ashlyn—about anything—give me a call.”

“I will.” Pamela looked over at a large group of people. “Excuse me,” she said, then headed toward the group.

“I just thought of something,” Troy said, running his fingers down her back and then hooking them around her hip. “You said you only see the end right before it happens. What made you so determined to meet Ashlyn all those weeks ago?”

Troy hadn’t given her any reason to not trust him, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him about being a Cipher and exactly all that entailed. “I got a really strong feeling that I should meet her. One so powerful I couldn’t ignore it. I told you my intuition was good.”

“Like a message straight from Heaven,” Troy said.

Summer thought of the bubbly Gabriella, the messenger sent to her. You have no idea. The thought of Gabriella must’ve made her see things, because she swore she was seeing the Angel of Death standing a few yards back.

Summer blinked, but the image remained. It was definitely Gabriella. No one else looked quite like that.

Summer leaned in and gave Troy a quick kiss on the lips. “I’ll be right back.”

She wandered over to where Gabriella was standing, halfway hidden behind a tree. Keeping her back to all the people so they wouldn’t see her talking to air, she said, “Do you say goodbye to everyone you deal with?”

“I’m not here for her,” Gabriella said.

“Really? Someone’s going to die at a funeral? You guys have an odd sense of humor.”

“Yes, we sit around thinking of funny ways to die. It keeps us from getting bored.”

“Is that sarcasm I hear?” Summer smiled at Gabriella. “Maybe I’m a bad influence. Now, I’ve got you being a smart a—” she stopped herself in the nick of time. Gabriella might be using sarcasm, but Summer doubted she’d changed her opinion on swearing. “A smart alec.”

“I appreciate you editing. But I’m not here to take anyone home.”

Something about the way Gabriella was looking at Summer sent a sick feeling through her gut. “Oh no,” she said, taking a step back. “You said I’d have time.”

“Well, it so happens that someone in the area is going to need you. He’s not ready yet, but he’s going to be soon. And you’ve got your work cut out for you with this one.”

Summer’s stomach churned at the thought, but already she felt it. Knew someone needed her help. She groaned. “I hate this job.”

Read on for a sneak peek at Rift, book 2 in the Cipher series!

Chapter One

Bad news was on its way to ruin her life again. Summer could feel it in every inch of her body. The mix of apprehension and nausea? Nerves strung so tight her muscles ached? Classic signs. Every one of her Cipher senses was tingling, and as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom, she sensed Gabriella’s presence. As chipper as the Angel of Death was, her visits were rarely welcome.

Gabriella flashed her blindingly white, beauty-queen smile as Summer stepped inside her bedroom. “Hello, Summer Dear,” she said. As usual, she was dressed in all sparkly pink, her Marilyn Monroe hairdo frozen in place with enough hairspray to withstand a tornado. “Isn’t the weather lovely today?”

Summer swung the door closed in case Dad came home early—she didn’t want him to hear any of what was about to go down, even if he’d only hear one side. “It’s California. It would be more of a shock if it wasn’t lovely.”

Two creases formed between Gabriella’s eyebrows as she frowned at Summer. “No need to get all huffy. I was just trying to make small talk.”

“That’s the problem, though. You’re not really here for just small talk, are you?”

Gabriella pressed her bubble gum pink lips together, then shook her head. “It’s time, Summer. I’ve come to give you your next assignment.”

For two months she’d been on edge, waiting for this job to pop up like a demented version of jack in the box. Surprise, guess who’s dying now!? At one point, she’d wished Gabriella would just get it over with already. But now, Summer didn’t want to hear about it. Didn’t want to know that another person was going to die, but only after she’d gotten to know them and, with any luck, managed to resolve their problems with their family members first.

“I’m not ready,” Summer said. “My psychology class doesn’t start until tomorrow, and so far the grief counseling sessions I’ve been attending have only really shown me how much people cry.”

Gabriella stuck a fist on her hip. “Last time I came to visit, you begged me to give you the assignment before you went ‘wackjob crazy,’ whatever that means.”

Summer flopped onto the end of her bed, the weight of an assignment already pressing down her shoulders. “I changed my mind.”

“But you can feel it, right? So you know it’s time whether you’re ready or not.”

Ready or not, here it comes. Summer took a deep breath. “Okay. Rip the Band-Aid off.” When Gabriella looked confused, she said. “The job. Just give me the job.”

“His name is Liam Fry. He’s a freshman at SDSU. Only this time, you need to help him make peace with his dad. His dad, a man named Dennis Fry, is the one who’s dying.”

Summer rolled the name over in her head for a few seconds. Liam. He wouldn’t be dying, so surely this wouldn’t be as gut-wrenching as last time. Her heart gave one painful throb, a dull reminder of the emotional scar over her heart from her first Cipher job. “Okay, so I’ll work it through the son angle. Got it.”

“Good. But… there’s something you need to know about Dennis, and it’s kind of a big deal.” Gabriella tapped her finger to her lips, a gesture she did whenever she was thinking. “I’m prefacing this by telling you to keep in mind how much you’ve learned over the last few months.”

The apprehension coursing through Summer kicked up a notch. “That bad, huh?”

“Summer Dear, his father’s in a detention facility.”

“Like jail?” Summer’s voice came out in a high-pitched squeak.

Gabriella nodded.

“Did he do it? Is he guilty?” Summer stared at Gabriella, wanting her to say, Of course not. I wouldn’t be asking you to do this if he was guilty.

“He’s done a great deal of repenting, and he desperately wants to make peace with his son. He doesn’t know it, but he’s sick, so he’ll never make it to parole. Which is why it’s so important to get Liam to visit him now.”

Summer shook her head. “No. I don’t think I can do that. Did he kill someone?”

The hesitation was enough for Summer to know she was going to hate Gabriella’s response. “His actions did cause a few innocent lives,” Gabriella said softly. “We all make mistakes.”

Images from her mom’s death flashed through her mind. The convenience store. The man who’d pulled the gun. Mom and the woman she’d gone on a Cipher job to help lying dead on the floor. Everything inside her turned hard and cold. “There’s mistakes, and then there’s killing people. My mom is gone because of someone like that. You’re asking too much.”

“Liam will be the one to suffer, though, and that hardly seems fair. Don’t worry about the punishment for Dennis. He’ll have to pay for his crimes. He’s already paid a great deal, being in jail for the past eight years. Low security or not, jail is not a pleasant experience.” Gabriella squatted in front of Summer and spoke in a soothing tone. “This is what you’ve been training for. You can do this.”

All the speculation Summer had been doing about her job over the past few months hadn’t even come close. She’d often looked around the school, wondering if her next assignment would be there. If any of her old friends would be involved. Never did college student and inmate father cross her mind.

“Like with Ashlyn, you’ll have some time on this one,” Gabriella said. “That doesn’t mean you don’t need to hurry things along, and, I’m not going to lie, it’ll be a tough one. But you will have enough time. As long as you start right away.”

Words kept getting caught in Summer’s throat, unable to make it out her mouth. Anger heated her veins at the unfairness of it all. From what she’d heard, this Dennis guy deserved to die alone. He’d taken someone else’s family away. Why did he deserve his?

Gabriella patted her knee. “Let’s just get you introduced to Liam, then we’ll figure out the rest. He’s going to be at a party down on fraternity row tonight.” She stood, searched her pockets in vain, and ended up grabbing a notepad and pen out of the air. When Summer first met Gabriella, pulling things out of the air had sent her mind reeling. Now, it seemed almost normal. Actually, she wished she could pull stuff out of thin air as well.

“This is where you need to go.” Gabriella handed over the note. Purple glittery pen looped across the page, giving added flair to the address and the immaculately drawn map beside it. “I know you’re going to hate this, but you need to take someone besides Troy. You need to be approachable, not attached—not to mention Troy might have trouble getting in.”

“I don’t have any other friends,” Summer said. “Friends that could get into the party anyway.” Sad but true. As much as she loved the Misfits, chess-playing twins and a kid who liked to film everything didn’t stand a chance at a frat party. And Marcie didn’t go out, period.

“Kendall seems like she’d be good in this situation,” Gabriella said.

Summer groaned. She and Kendall had semi-patched up their relationship, but it was still awkward, and she didn’t want to owe Kendall any favors. Part of her wondered how Gabriella even knew about Kendall, but she knew better than to ask—the Angel of Death would only talk in infuriating riddles about the mysteries of the universe.

“Just be careful,” Gabriella said. “I’m not happy about the situation, but you’ll have some added protection.” She looked to the heavens—Summer assumed, anyway. She doubted the out-of-date popcorn ceiling was going to protect her somehow. “Still, you should probably take your mace.”

“Sounds like a blast.” Summer slumped forward, propping her elbows on her knees. Her first college party, and it was already shaping up to be a bust.

The jewel-encrusted watch on Gabriella’s watch chimed.

“Oh, Heavens! I’ve got to go,” Summer said at the exact time Gabriella did. She already knew the drill, and she did a pretty good impression of the Angel of Death, if she did say so herself.

One corner of Gabriella’s mouth turned up. “Very funny. I’ll be checking in later.”

Then, as always, Gabriella’s outline glittered before disappearing completely.

* * *

Music always made menial tasks better, so Summer put her earphones in, cranked up her tunes, and started unloading the dishwasher. Singing and dancing, she twirled here and there, putting away the dishes. She tucked the spatula in the utensil drawer and spun around.

And froze mid-song and dance, blonde curls covering one of her eyes.

Troy stood in the archway of the kitchen, giant, heart-melting grin on his face. He stuck a thumb toward the living room. “Your dad let me in.”

Heat flooded Summer’s cheeks, embarrassment mixing in with the tingly excitement of seeing her super-cute boyfriend. All hers. That realization never got old. She tugged out her earphones, wondering just how much singing and dancing he’d witnessed.

He crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I thought you said you couldn’t sing.”

“I can’t. And I really wish you hadn’t heard me trying to.”

Troy leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, sending her heart rate skyrocketing. “Because now you have to kill me?”

“Exactly.” Summer closed the small distance between their mouths, covering his mouth with hers. She ran her fingers up his arms and looped them behind his neck, loving the way his fingers dug into her sides as she deepened the kiss. They both knew it was only a matter of time before Dad “accidentally” interrupted, so each kiss, each second she could be pressed against him, felt stolen.

The volume of the TV in the other room went quiet, which meant time was up. Sometimes Dad would come in. Sometimes he’d just listen. Mostly, he was a pain, but in the way she still loved him anyhow.

Troy pulled back but kept his hands on the sides of her waist. Even though the space between them was fractional, she couldn’t help resent it. “So, Sunshine, what are we going to do tonight?”

“About that.” Summer twisted one of her curls around her finger. “I’ve got to go to this party, and as much as I want to, I can’t take you with me.” The omission of the words frat and college had been intentional.

Troy’s eyebrows drew together. “Who are you going to go with?”

“Kendall.”

“So what? You don’t want me getting in the way of you meeting guys?”

Summer shrugged. “Um, kind of?”

Troy’s teasing expression dropped. “That was supposed to be a joke.”

“Look, all I really know is that someone needs help, and that I’ll be more approachable if I’m unattached.” She grabbed both his hands and laced her fingers with his. “But don’t worry, I’m still really attached.”

“Just no one gets to know.”

Summer leaned in and kissed him.

“If you think that you can just kiss me and everything will be fine, then—”

Summer kissed him again, sucking lightly on his bottom lip until she felt his posture relax.

Troy leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re playing dirty,” he said on a breath. Then he straightened, his expression too serious again. “Be sure to take your mace, and call me if you need me.”

“Now you sound just like my dad.”

“I worry about you.” His green eyes bored into her, saying things he didn’t say aloud. Telling him about her instincts to help people and about the visions she got when she bumped into a person who was about to die had helped her deal with her bizarre life. It’d lessened her sorrow when she didn’t think she could take any more. She no longer had to constantly lie to him, and on top of that, he was extremely supportive. But he also worried more because of it, and she hated that he carried that burden now.

“I’ll be fine.” Summer wrapped her arms around his waist and dropped her head on his chest, enjoying the way he automatically tucked her into a secure hug. She sighed. “There’s no going back now.”

“What do you mean by that?” Troy asked, and she could feel the vibrations of his voice against her cheek.

“Now that I know what it’s like to be with someone like you, no other guys have a chance.”

Troy trailed his fingers down her back. “Just keep that in mind while you’re partying it up without me.”

If only she were going to be partying. Instead she had to find Liam and try to figure out how to help him, even though his dad was someone she already despised. She hugged Troy tighter, listening to his steady heartbeat, hoping some of his strength would transfer to her. “Trust me. I will.”

About the Author

Cindi Madsen sits at her computer every chance she gets, plotting revising, and falling in love with her characters. Sometimes it makes her a crazy person. Without it, she’d be even crazier. She has way too many shoes, but can always find a reason to buy a new pretty pair, especially if they’re sparkly, colorful, or super tall. She loves music, dancing, and wishes summer lasted all year long. She lives in Colorado (where summer is most definitely NOT all year long) with her husband and three children. She is the author of YA novels All the Broken Pieces, Demons of the Sun, Cipher, and adult romances Falling for Her Fiancé, Act Like You Love Me, and Cinderella Screwed Me Over.

Find out more at www.cindimadsen.com

Content

Cipher
Cipher 1
by
Cindi Madsen

Acknowledgements

The First Time

Chapter One Three years later…

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Read on for a sneak peek at Rift, book 2 in the Cipher series! Chapter One

About the Author