Softly at Sunrise

KGI - 5.5

by

Maya Banks

Chapter 1

Rachel Kelly stared back at her reflection and then heaved a sigh before taking her hair down from the loose bun she’d fashioned. She brushed out the long strands and let them fall over her shoulders.

She was overthinking this too much, and if she couldn’t get it together, Ethan would never let her out of the house. He was already worried over the fact that she was returning to work. If he had his way, she’d remain at home, cocooned in his and his family’s embrace.

She understood his concern, and she loved him dearly for it. But it was time to move on with her life—a life that she’d once thought was over. After being officially “dead” for an entire year only to be resurrected when her husband and his brothers’ special ops group, KGI, rescued her from imprisonment, she was ready to live fully again.

For the last couple of years, she’d tiptoed through life, as if she were afraid to take any risks at all. She’d surrounded herself with family—and it was ever growing with new additions as more of the brothers and team members married—and had contented herself with complacency.

No more.

New house. New start. She was young and had her entire life ahead of her, even if she’d taken that life for granted in the past. She’d never do it again. Every day was precious, and she was grateful for every minute with her husband and her family.

She smoothed a hand over her flat belly, a flutter of nervousness welling up from within. Excitement over her dreams of the future. Of the possibilities that could even now be realized. It was hard to be calm and tell herself the unlikelihood of it happening so quickly.

She and Ethan—after long and careful consideration—had decided that she’d go off birth control a few months earlier. They hadn’t even confided in family…yet. Ethan had been reluctant, and it had taken convincing on her part for him to agree. Not because he didn’t want a child, but because he worried for her.

Once before, seemingly a lifetime ago, she’d been pregnant and had miscarried while Ethan was away with his SEAL team on a mission. That event had been the catalyst for so many things. Ethan had walked away, resigning his commission in the Navy because he’d felt guilty that he wasn’t there when she needed him.

The decision had made him desperately unhappy, and it had strained their relationship to the breaking point. She’d known things were bad, but she hadn’t known just how bad until right before she’d left on a mercy mission with other teachers to South America. Ethan had presented her with divorce papers, looked her in the eye, and told her he was ready to end their marriage.

She closed her eyes, because even now, so many years later, it had the power to gut her.

And then she’d left for South America and hadn’t returned until a year later when Ethan and his brothers had come for her.

It had been a new chance, a fresh start, one more opportunity for them to make things right. And they had.

She knew there was no guarantee after all she’d endured that she could even get pregnant, and if she did manage it, she could very well miscarry again. It could take them months or even years to conceive, which was why she’d wanted to go off her birth control now.

But the thread of hope was there. Alive and burning inside her. She had only to look at her niece, Charlotte, and she was filled with fierce yearning for her own child.

Ethan appeared in the door, and he stared intently at her with those piercing blue eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this, baby?”

She smiled, warmed by his concern and the love she could see burning in his gaze.

“I’m only substituting for now. It’ll be a good test run. If I hold up well, then maybe I’ll consider going back full time next year if a position is open.”

Wordlessly, he stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. He was damp with sweat from his morning run. He got up every morning for his workout regimen that he did on his own, but he also trained with his brothers at the KGI facility. The compound where she and Ethan would be moving to in just a few days.

She inhaled his scent, the muskiness of sweat and the faint hint of soap from his earlier shower. Hugs were something else she never took for granted. During her captivity, something as simple as human touch had been a craving that had been as crippling as the torture she’d endured.

He kissed the top of her head and gave her an extra squeeze.

“Call me if you have any problems.”

She smiled. “I will. I promise.”

“Is your cell charged?”

Her smile grew bigger. She was forever forgetting to charge the damn thing. It frustrated Ethan to no end not to be able to get in touch with her. They both still battled their demons in different ways. His fear was of losing her again, and he liked to know where she was at all times. He checked in frequently with her and worried endlessly if he couldn’t reach her.

It might annoy some women, but Rachel understood his need for reassurance. He wasn’t controlling. He was scared to death. There was a huge difference.

“It’s charged, but don’t call me during class,” she scolded lightly. “I left my schedule on the fridge so you’ll know what time my classes are. I’ll text you when I can.”

Ethan sighed and slowly released her. “I know I’m an overbearing bastard. I can’t help myself. If I had my way, you would never go back to work, but I want you to be happy, so if this does it, then I’m okay with it. I’ll deal. I promise.”

“I love you,” she said, moving back into his arms. “Remember that, okay?”

He lowered his mouth to hers in a heated rush of lips and tongue. “I love you too,” he said in that low, growly voice that always sent shivers down her spine. “Be careful and text me when you get there so I know you made it safe.”

She rolled her eyes and withdrew, checking her appearance in the mirror one last time. “I’ll be fine. And don’t forget. Your mom and Rusty are coming over tonight to help box up some stuff. Rusty’s home for the weekend, and she’s volunteered her services.”

“I won’t be late,” Ethan promised. “Light training day today. Working with the new recruits for Nathan and Joe’s team.”

Rachel’s lips turned down into an unhappy frown. “Have you heard anything from P.J. yet?”

Ethan went quiet and then shook his head. “Not a damn thing since she bugged out. It’s killing Cole. Steele’s not taking it very well either. The team isn’t the same without her, and Steele refuses to replace her.”

“Good,” Rachel said fiercely. “She just needs time. She’ll be back. I know she will.”

“I hope you’re right,” he said, his tone somber. “I said the team’s not the same without her, but the fact is, isn’t the same without her either.”

Rachel sighed and slid past Ethan into the bedroom so she could get her shoes. P.J. Rutherford was the only female KGI member. Well, no, that wasn’t right anymore. Skylar Watkins was a new recruit, but Rachel didn’t know her well. She’d only met her once.

Things had gone terribly wrong for P.J. on a mission, and she’d walked away in the emotional aftermath. Rachel’s heart ached for the other woman because she knew how it was to feel like you’d lost a huge part of yourself. To be at loose ends.

“Okay, wish me luck,” she announced after she’d slipped on the low heels and picked up her briefcase.

“You’ll be awesome,” Ethan said, pride evident in his voice. “You were a damn good teacher before. Mom was so proud of you. She was over the moon when you followed in her footsteps. All you did was take a little time off. It’ll come back to you in a flash. The kids will love you, just like they all did before.”

She went into his arms for another hug. “Thank you. I needed that this morning.”

He squeezed her hard and then reluctantly let her go.

“I’m going to jump in the shower again and then head over to the compound. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Rachel watched as he disappeared into the bathroom, and then she squared her shoulders and walked out of the bedroom and through the kitchen to the garage where her car was parked.

She was terrified. Her palms were sweaty around the steering wheel, and it irritated her that such a small thing as substitute teaching for middle school kids would frighten her after all she’d been through.

Her therapist would tell her all things in time. It was a mantra she’d repeated a lot over the last year. And it was true enough. Everything in good time. She just had to be patient and cut herself some slack.

Moving was a good step. A positive step in the right direction. Ethan hadn’t understood why she’d gone in such a different direction with the new house they were building. He’d thought they’d have the same house built inside the compound. The house they lived in now was one they’d chosen together and had incorporated all their favorite things.

As she backed out of the garage and stared at the house that had once been her dream, she took a deep breath. The truth was, she couldn’t wait to move away from the house that now represented some of the unhappiest moments in her life.

Her husband had once stood in the living room that she’d painstakingly designed and handed her divorce papers.

She’d never be able to settle back in and just forget that it happened.

She had a new dream now. To stop living in the past. To move forward. New house. New life. New chance to make things right and to leave the past precisely where it belonged.

Chapter 2

When Rachel pulled into her driveway a few minutes after four, she was surprised that Ethan’s truck was already there. She got out, eager to see him and to tell him about her day.

She hauled her briefcase from the passenger seat and started up the walkway. Halfway there, the door opened and Ethan stood against the frame, watching her approach. One hand was behind his back, and as she mounted the steps, he pulled it around so she could see the gorgeous bouquet of flowers he was holding.

They were her favorite. Roses that were a beautiful shade of peach. Not quite orange and not quite pink. For the longest time, Ethan had been unable to buy them for her because he’d taken them to her grave during the year she’d been believed dead.

“To celebrate your first day,” he said.

“They’re beautiful, Ethan!”

She gathered them and buried her nose in the fragrant blossoms.

“How did it go?” Ethan asked as he ushered her inside.

She went in search of a vase and, after stuffing the stems inside and filling it with water, she turned an excited smile on Ethan.

“It went great!

He smiled indulgently at her enthusiasm and then pulled her into his arms.

“I missed you.”

She laughed. “No you didn’t. You were at the compound. You wouldn’t have seen me whether I’d gone to work or not.”

He kissed her nose and squeezed his arms around her. God, but she loved the security of being in his arms. There were still nights she woke in a cold sweat and there he was, always right beside her to hold and comfort her. He always knew too. He’d gather her into his embrace and whisper in her ear that she was safe and that he was here and that nothing would ever hurt her again. Then he’d tell her over and over again how much he loved her and how sorry he was for ever making her doubt it.

“Just knowing you’re here in our home while I’m away makes me feel like I’m with you.”

As they walked into the living room, Ethan’s arm still snugly around her, she noticed the packing boxes scattered around.

“You did get home early,” she exclaimed. “You’ve already started the packing, I see.”

Ethan smiled. “Yeah, I didn’t want you having to do too much. The guys are coming over later to help move the furniture and Ma and Rusty are on their way over now to help pack the smaller stuff.”

Just thinking of her family filled her with a warm glow that never failed to vanquish the shadows of the past. She was loved, and she was whole again. The emptiness that had gnawed at her for so long had finally been filled.

“Guess I should get to it then,” Rachel said, staring around at the living room.

“Uh no,” Ethan said, his voice firm. “First you’re going to sit down, put your feet up, and I’m going to crack open a bottle of wine to celebrate your first day at work.”

She sighed. “You spoil me shamelessly.”

He cracked a grin. “Yup, that’s me. Completely shameless. Park it while I go get the wine.”

He took her briefcase and carried it with him toward the kitchen while she settled onto the leather sofa and, as he’d directed, propped her feet on the ottoman.

Her gaze wandered over the living room, taking in all the details. Details that hadn’t changed since they’d moved in. The piano still occupied the same spot. The framed pictures—of their wedding and of other family times together—were still neatly in their places.

Ethan hadn’t changed anything in the entire year she was presumed dead. Nothing had been changed since her return.

She was ready for that next step. Ready to embrace the new and move away from the old. It was a matter she’d only discussed with her therapist in the sessions that Ethan didn’t attend, but she firmly believed the last step in her recovery was to remove herself from the house that held so many painful memories for her.

There were still gaps in her memory. Maybe she’d never fully regain everything of her past. A year hooked on drugs and the emotional and physical trauma she’d endured had perhaps altered her mind enough that there were simply things she’d never remember. Maybe it was better that way.

It was difficult for her—since she’d lost her memory of so many events—when they did come floating back, she experienced them all over again. Some were hurtful and vivid, and it took days and even weeks to come to terms with them.

It was hard to tell herself it happened four years ago when it was so fresh in her mind. The arguments. The stony silence between her and Ethan. The miscarriage. Ethan being gone. And the accusations that still stung if she let herself dwell on them.

The man Ethan was today wasn’t the man Ethan was in the early stages of their marriage. She knew that. But it was hard when those memories came back to her. New. As if it had happened yesterday.

Her gaze drifted to the bookcase where those damnable papers had been hidden. Immediately the image flashed of that last terrible day when Ethan had stood in front her, his expression impassive as he calmly handed her papers that would effectively end their marriage.

He’d told her not to bother coming back.

And she hadn’t.

For an eternity she’d remained a prisoner in unimaginable circumstances, her mind shattered. She’d clung to the only thing she’d known. Ethan. He’d been the one constant. He would come for her. He wouldn’t let her die in hell. Thank God her mind had protected her from the awful reality of the way they’d parted, or she would have never survived or held on to the hope that he’d come.

“Rachel? Are you okay?”

Ethan’s concerned question drifted through the painful memories, and she blinked, turning in the direction of his voice.

He was holding two glasses of wine, and his brows were drawn together, his sharp gaze peeling back layer after layer until she worried he’d know exactly what she was thinking.

She smiled, mustering all her control to prevent the shaking that usually accompanied the flashbacks. She reached for the wine and nodded. “I’m fine. Just thinking.”

Ethan handed over the glass and then settled on the couch beside her.

“Whatever you were thinking, it couldn’t have been good. You were pale, and your eyes were so distant that you didn’t seem to be here at all.”

“It was nothing. I’d rather focus on us. And the move to our brand new house.”

She held up her glass, and he gently clinked his to hers.

“I’m going to miss this place,” he said. “Lot of memories tied up here. I can understand why Mom and Dad are reluctant to relocate. They’ve been in that house my whole life. I can’t imagine them anywhere else.”

She swallowed and then sipped at her wine.

“You sure this is what you want to do?” he asked.

Her eyes widened. “We’re certainly beyond that point now. The other house is already built! What on earth would we do with it if we decided not to move?”

He shrugged. “Van and Joe haven’t built houses yet. One of them could always take it.”

She shook her head. “No. I love that house. It’s perfect. I’m excited to move into it.”

He studied her a minute as if deciding whether to state what was on his mind. Then he leaned over to put his glass on the end table.

“You aren’t happy here, are you?” he said bluntly.

She froze, because she hadn’t wanted him to know just how much she wanted to be free of this house and its hold on her. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel guilty. They’d wasted enough time on guilt and anguish. It served no purpose. They’d never move on if they were always dwelling on the past.

The doorbell rang, and she nearly sighed an audible sound of relief.

“I’ll get it. You sit,” Ethan said as he sprang upward.

He walked to the front door and opened it, and a mere second later, Rusty entered the living room.

Rachel smiled and got up to hug the other woman.

“Rusty! I’m so glad to see you!” Rachel stepped back to examine the smiling girl. “You’re looking so gorgeous! How is school?”

Rusty dipped her head a little shyly but beamed at Rachel’s compliment. And it was true. Rusty had blossomed into a beautiful young lady. A long way from the scrawny, surly teenager with ragged, brightly dyed hair who’d stolen into Marlene and Frank Kelly’s house a few years earlier.

She could definitely still hold her own with the Kelly clan and could be plenty sassy when the occasion called for it, but Rusty had softened under the love and tutelage of Marlene and the rest of the Kellys.

“I heard you went back to work today,” Rusty said after offering Rachel her own enthusiastic hug. “How did it go?”

There was worry in the other girl’s eyes, and Rachel’s heart squeezed. She and Rusty hadn’t always had the best relationship. Rusty had entered the Kellys’ lives at the precise time when Rachel had been rescued and returned to her family. Rusty had feared that concern for Rachel would overshadow her own existence and that she’d be discarded and sent on her way.

“It was scary and wonderful at the same time,” Rachel said. “Hard to believe I can be intimidated by a bunch of junior high kids, but believe me, they’re pretty terrifying!”

Rusty laughed. “I remember me at that age so I can well understand why you’d be shaking in your shoes.”

“Where’s Ma?” Ethan asked. “I thought she was coming with you?”

Rusty turned to Ethan. “She said to tell you she’ll be here as soon as she can. Sophie was running late, and Marlene was keeping Charlotte for her.”

Ethan’s cell rang, and he made a grab for it, turning away from the two women as he answered.

Rachel took Rusty’s hand and dragged her toward the couch. “So how are you doing in your classes, and how are you liking college?”

Rusty’s eyes glowed with excitement. “I love it. It’s as you said. Scary and wonderful all at the same time. There are so many people. Everywhere. And from all over! I’d never been out of Dover my entire life so it was like culture shock. But it’s fun, and I’ve made so many good friends. There’s so much to do.”

“You’re keeping up with your studies, right?” Rachel asked.

Rusty grinned. “You sound just like Marlene. And yes, I’m doing very well. Better than I would have ever thought I was capable of. I have one B, but it’s a high B, so I think I can bring it up to an A before the semester is over. I have As in everything else. Who would have thought that I would ever be an honor student!”

“You’re smarter than all of us,” Rachel said dryly. “It was always just a matter of focusing your efforts in a positive direction.”

“Sorry to interrupt, girls, but I’m going to head over to round up a crew to help move furniture. Sam has a delivery truck he’s borrowed, and we’re going to bring it over here to load up as much stuff as we can this evening.”

Rachel smiled up at her husband. “Okay. We’ll work on packing some of the smaller boxes while we wait for Marlene. I should probably put in a pizza order for later. Everyone will be starving.”

Ethan dropped a kiss on her lips. “Let us worry about the food. If I know Ma, she’s already prepared a feast, and she’ll probably come over loaded for bear.”

“True,” Rachel said ruefully. “Okay, off with you. I’ll see you and your brothers in a bit.”

Rusty also stood and motioned toward the boxes. “Is there any particular place you want me to start?”

Rachel rose, setting her glass down beside Ethan’s on the end table. She’d only had a sip, but her stomach was roiling, and a clammy sweat had broken out on her forehead.

Without saying a word to Rusty, she hurried past her and to the guest bathroom down from the kitchen. She barely made it to the toilet before her stomach heaved and ejected the contents.

A soothing hand rubbed up and down her back as Rusty’s anxious question was issued. “Rachel, are you all right? Should I call Ethan back?”

Rachel shook her head as she wiped at her mouth with a towel. “N-no,” she said shakily. “I’m fine. Really.”

When she lifted her head, she saw Rusty frowning at her.

“You aren’t fine. You were puking your guts up. What’s going on?”

Rachel swallowed nervously and then went to the sink to wash out her mouth. She gargled with mouthwash, praying it wouldn’t send her back to the toilet to vomit again. She leaned against the sink, her hands braced on the countertop, as she stared at herself in the mirror.

It was time to stop discounting the possibility. Having the wine had been irresponsible. She knew she could be. Even if she’d thought it unlikely that it would happen this soon.

“Rusty?” she said faintly. “Is there any way you could do me a favor?”

Rusty came up behind her and put her hand on her shoulder. “Of course. Just tell me what you need.”

Rachel turned, taking Rusty’s hand in hers. “I don’t want you to tell anyone about this, okay? Promise me.”

Rusty frowned but nodded.

“If you leave now, you could get back before everyone gets over here. But you’ll have to hurry.”

Rusty cocked her head to the side. “What are you wanting?”

Rachel took a deep breath. “Is there any way you could run to the pharmacy and buy an over-the-counter pregnancy test for me?”

Chapter 3

Rachel paced the confines of the living room, the wait for Rusty to return an eternity. She checked her watch and then looked anxiously out the window. She didn’t expect Ethan for a while yet. The compound was across the lake, and he’d no doubt get sidetracked talking to his brothers before they made their way back over. But Marlene could show up at any time, and while Rachel loved her dearly, she wasn’t ready to tell anyone of her suspicion yet. The last thing she wanted was to build anyone’s hopes only for it to be a false alarm.

And she didn’t want the inevitable questions and concerns that would surely accompany the knowledge that she and Ethan were trying for a baby. For now it was their own precious secret. Only now Rusty knew, and Rachel hoped that Rusty would keep it in confidence.

Her pulse bounded when she heard a vehicle in the drive. Her gaze jerked to the window, and she sagged in relief when she saw it was Rusty’s Jeep.

A moment later, Rusty hurried in the door with a plain, brown paper sack in her hand.

“I bought two,” she said as she began pulling one out of the bag. “I figured it would be better to take two no matter what the first result is, just to make sure.”

Rachel smiled and hugged Rusty tight. “Thank you. I appreciate you doing this for me.”

Rusty pulled carefully away, her eyes dark with concern. “Is this a good thing or a bad thing, Rachel? I mean if you’re pregnant.”

“It would be a very good thing,” Rachel said in a low voice.

Rusty smiled. “Then I’ll cross fingers and toes the test is positive. You better hurry, though, if you don’t want the entire world to know. If Marlene shows up and finds you peeing on a stick, the entire family will be gathered in short order.”

Rachel laughed but took the box from Rusty and hurried toward the bathroom. “You be my lookout,” she called back.

“I’ll guard the door,” Rusty said in an amused voice from just outside the bathroom.

Rachel’s hands shook as she hastily tore into the box. They were shaking so badly that she nearly dropped the stick once she freed it from the packaging.

After reading the instructions twice to make sure she did everything accordingly, she forced herself to calm down and focus on the task at hand.

And then, so she wouldn’t drive herself crazy waiting for the first test’s results, she squeezed out just enough to go ahead and take the second test.

She straightened her clothing, washed her hands, and then checked her watch, all while avoiding the little indicator windows on the sticks lying on the counter.

Then she looked.

“Rachel?”

At first she didn’t respond.

“Rachel, is everything okay in there? It’s awfully quiet.”

“Y-you can come in,” Rachel managed to get out.

The door opened, and Rusty stuck her head in and then looked down at what Rachel was obviously staring at.

“They’re both positive,” Rachel murmured.

Then she looked up at Rusty, a rush of fear, excitement, and pure adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Rusty smiled. “That’s good, right?”

“It’s wonderful,” Rachel breathed.

Tears filled her eyes, and then Rusty was hugging her, holding on tight as Rachel fought the wave of emotion engulfing her.

“Congratulations,” Rusty said in a fierce voice. “I’m happy for you, Rachel.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said, giving her a watery smile as she pulled away.

Rusty shook her head and made a tsking sound. “You so better get rid of the watery, red eyes before Mama Kelly gets here. She’ll be on you faster than a duck on a junebug. I’m assuming you want to tell Ethan before the rest of the family.”

Rachel grabbed a washcloth and ran cold water over it. “Yes, of course I do. I appreciate you keeping it secret, Rusty. It’s such a shock. I mean, it’s not completely unexpected. I certainly knew it was possible. It’s just that I never imagined it would happen so fast. I figured with everything that’s happened, that it could be months or even years after we started trying before I got pregnant. I want some time to get used to it myself, and I want to be able to tell Ethan at the perfect moment before we tell everyone else.”

She wrung out the washcloth and pressed it to her eyes and face. When she pulled it down, she grimaced.

“There’s also the fact that I miscarried once before, so I don’t think it’s wise to bust out with the news until a little further along in the pregnancy.”

Rusty’s face wrinkled in sympathy. “I’m sure you’ll be just fine this time. You know the family will close ranks around you. You’ll be fortunate if they let you lift a finger at all.”

Rachel bunched up her nose. “Ugh. Ethan was already not happy about me going back to work. He’ll really flip out now.”

Rusty’s soft chuckle echoed through the bathroom. “I’m sure you’ll straighten him out in no time. It’s not like you don’t have him wrapped around your little finger.”

Rachel grinned, and then a giddy rush fizzled through her veins much like a shaken up soda.

“Oh my God, Rusty, I’m pregnant!”

She wanted to do something ridiculous like squeal and twirl around in circles.

“Yay!” Rusty shouted.

She grabbed Rachel’s hands, and they both jumped up and down like little girls skipping rope. Rachel dissolved into laughter, and then Rusty joined her.

“Hello? Rachel? Rusty? Are y’all here?”

“Oh crap, it’s Marlene!” Rachel whispered.

Rusty clamped her lips shut and made a show of zipping them and then winked at Rachel. Rachel impulsively hugged the other girl and squeezed her in gratitude.

“Thank you,” she whispered urgently in her ear.

“No problem,” Rusty whispered back. “Now let’s go see what Mama Kelly brought us to eat.”

* *

The evening was a flurry of activity. Marlene had come, and as Ethan had predicted, had brought enough food to feed an Army. Or at least the majority of the Kelly clan.

Ethan showed up not long after with all his brothers in tow, plus Swanny, a family friend and member of KGI, and Ethan’s dad, Frank Kelly, as well. Not that anyone was going to allow Frank to do anything, but he could organize and oversee at will.

He’d had a heart attack a few years earlier, and it was still very much on the minds of all the family members. The mere idea of losing him had them all in terror.

Though Rachel packed her share of boxes, Rusty always stepped in, making sure she never lifted anything too heavy. Rachel could hardly contain her smile. Rusty was already acting fiercely protective of Rachel, knowing she was pregnant, even though she never let on so much as a hint that she was objecting to Rachel carrying anything heavy.

“How was your first day, sweetness?” Garrett asked as he pulled Rachel into a hug.

She returned the hug and squeezed him tightly. Garrett had always been one of her favorites. He’d been there during her first miscarriage, and he’d been a steadfast friend and shoulder to lean on during her return and recovery.

“It was great. I was terrified and nervous, but it went so well. The kids were terrific. There were several teachers still there from when I taught before, and they all welcomed me back. It was really nice. I loved it.”

Garrett smiled and ruffled her hair. “That’s wonderful. Glad to hear you sounding so happy.”

“Hey Garrett, more working and less talking,” Sam called from across the room.

Garrett rolled his eyes but let his arm drop from Rachel’s shoulders and ambled toward his brothers.

Rachel smiled as she took in the big, noisy Kelly family. Ethan was right in the middle with three older brothers and two younger brothers. Sam was the oldest. Garrett was a year younger. Then there was Donovan, or Van as most of the family called him. Then Ethan and then the twins, Nathan and Joe.

Of the six, four were married. Only Donovan and Joe hadn’t settled down yet and were showing no signs of doing so. Rachel wasn’t even sure they had a steady woman in their lives. They were so busy with KGI that it didn’t leave them a whole lot of free time, and what time they did get was usually spent with the family.

She placed a hand over her belly, a flutter of excitement deep in her stomach. So far, Sam and his wife, Sophie, were the only ones who’d had a child. Charlotte. An adorable toddler who was doted on by every single member of the family.

Garrett and his wife, Sarah, had only just married as had Nathan and his wife, Shea, and neither couple had voiced any desire to start a family yet.

Of them all, she and Ethan had been together the longest. She often wondered if she hadn’t miscarried their first child how different their lives would be. Perhaps Ethan would have never left his SEAL team. Maybe he’d even now still be in the Navy. Maybe she wouldn’t have gone on the mercy mission to South America. At the time, she’d done it as much to escape the awful reality of her marriage as she had for the cause it supported.

Losing their baby had been the catalyst for so many things. It was foolish to play the what-if game, but she couldn’t help but wonder how different things might have been if only…

“Everything okay, Rachel?”

She blinked and looked up to see Joe standing in front of her, his eyes dark with concern. Then she glanced rapidly around, hoping that she hadn’t attracted attention from the others. To her relief they were too busy loading furniture onto the truck.

“Everything’s fine,” she said with a genuine smile.

And it wasn’t a lie. Everything was okay. More than okay. Maybe even perfect.

He smiled, relief edging out the worry on his face.

“Time for dinner break,” Marlene called from the kitchen she’d been packing up just moments earlier.

There was a whoop from her sons, and Rachel stood back, enjoying the very normal way of life in the Kelly family. Lots of love, unconditional support, always a helping hand, and plenty of food, thanks to Mama Kelly.

It was a family she’d bring a son or daughter into, and she couldn’t wait. How fortunate her child would be to grow up under the umbrella of so much love and loyalty.

Ethan walked up to her, sliding his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into him.

“Hey, you hungry? Let’s go grab something to eat before the hyenas get it all.”

Rachel laughed, allowing some of the bubbling joy to surge right out of her soul. She caught Rusty’s grin from across the room and shared a secret smile with the other girl.

She let Ethan lead her toward the kitchen as she dreamed of the perfect way to tell him he was going to be a father.

Chapter 4

It was late when the truck was unloaded at the new house and everything was set up. Oddly, Rachel had insisted that their bed be moved first so they could stay the night here instead of at their old home.

It felt strange to say old home. Ethan still hadn’t adjusted to the idea of a new house. Oh, he agreed with the idea that they should live behind the walls of the compound. He was on board with anything that assured him of his wife’s safety. Or at least gave her an added measure of protection.

But Rachel seemed… eager to move. She showed no outward signs of regret over leaving their old life.

He flopped down on the bed waiting for her to finish in the shower and join him. The thought shouldn’t nag him, but there was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He wondered if everything was all right with Rachel and if she really was taking the move as well as she seemed to be.

He worried endlessly over causing her any upset. His brothers cautioned him not to go so overboard and to lighten up. Not to smother her. He knew they were right, but they’d never lived with the knowledge that the woman they loved beyond all measure had died. That they’d pushed her away. That they’d rejected her. Taken her love and thrown it in her face.

Ethan had done all of that. He’d lived it. He’d had the very heart of him taken away the day he was informed that Rachel had died in that plane crash.

To this day, he still woke in a cold sweat, reaching frantically beside him to reassure himself that she was here. Alive. Next to him.

So if he was a little overbearing, surely it was understandable. Not many people had lost and then miraculously regained a loved one. He damn well was going to make sure he didn’t ever lose her again.

The bathroom door opened, and Rachel stepped out, her skin rosy and glowing from the heat of the shower. Her hair was wet, and she was toweling it dry as she walked toward the bed.

She was wearing a teeny, tiny silk camisole set that drove him insane. The shorts—if you could call them that—barely covered her ass, and the cami top plunged between her breasts, damn near baring her belly button.

She may as well not wear anything at all, which would be more than fine with him, but then she did love to tease him mercilessly and then pretend innocence when he tore the little scraps of material from her body.

She’d filled out a lot since the day they’d brought her home from South America. She’d bordered on gaunt. Hell, she had been gaunt. A ghost of her former self. Thin. Deep shadows under and in her eyes. Her hair had been lopped off without care, and she’d looked intensely frail. As if the slightest thing would knock her off balance.

How deceptive her appearance had been, because to survive as she had, she would have to have been forged in steel and possessed the will of a warrior.

Now her curves had returned, though she’d always been more willowy. But she’d lost the look of fragility. Her hips were more rounded. Even her breasts were plumper, and she’d gained much-needed pounds.

Her hair had grown long again, and it was thick and glossy and healthy-looking. Her eyes glowed with contentment. He never tired of that look on her. He’d seen her with despair that was bone deep, and if he never had to see such a thing again, it would be too soon. Whatever he had to do to prevent her from ever feeling that kind of hopelessness, he’d do.

“Hand me a comb and I’ll brush out your hair,” he offered.

She sent him a smile that curled his toes. He knew she loved to have her hair brushed, and it was a simple thing that brought him every bit as much pleasure as it did her. It was an excuse to hold her. To touch her. To simply spend time with her and just…be.

He’d taken those things for granted before. He’d never make that mistake again.

She retrieved a comb from the bathroom and then crawled onto the bed and settled between his legs after he’d positioned himself against the headboard.

He started at the bottom, gently working the comb through her tangles. She tilted her head back, and he could see that her eyes were closed, her expression one of deep contentment.

It was automatic for him to smile. His chest tightened and then eased as the knot of emotion formed and then loosened, spreading warmth all the way to his soul.

God, but he loved this woman. He never wanted to be without her.

As he finished detangling her hair, he leaned forward and kissed the side of her neck, inciting a shiver that he felt go down her entire body.

“I have an idea,” he murmured suggestively. “I was thinking that we do away with the silky bits you call sleepwear and then we practice making that baby. Practice makes perfect or so they say.”

She went completely still, and then she twisted around, positioning herself so that she was on her knees between his legs facing him.

“Speaking of that…” she began.

He studied her intently, wondering if perhaps the idea of pregnancy had been occupying her thoughts of late. Perhaps it was why he couldn’t quite put his finger on her mood.

“Are you having second thoughts?” he asked. “Because it’s absolutely okay if you are, baby. I certainly don’t mind waiting as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable with it. I want you to be sure you’re ready.”

Part of him hoped she was reconsidering. He wasn’t certain she was strong enough yet—physically or emotionally—to endure a pregnancy. And God forbid, what would happen if she miscarried again? It would devastate her, and he couldn’t bear for her to be hurt like that.

She smiled then, and it was so breathtakingly beautiful that for a moment he couldn’t force air into his lungs.

She gathered his hands in hers and pulled them to her chest, her hands cupped over his as they pressed against her skin. He could feel the gentle rhythm of her heart as her warmth seeped into his fingers.

“Apparently you don’t need practice at all,” she said in a hushed tone barely above a whisper. “It would appear that you’re quite the expert. We did it, Ethan. We made a baby!”

His eyebrows went up, and his mouth dropped open. He stared at her in complete befuddlement as he tried to collect his scattered wits.

“We did  what ?” he asked hoarsely.

Her smile grew even broader, and tears shone in her eyes, making them a glossy, rich brown.

He raised trembling hands to frame her face, and he thumbed away the tears as they brimmed over her eyelids.

“We’re having a baby?” he whispered.

She nodded, her eyes shining like stars.

He was assaulted by a multitude of emotions all at the same time. Indescribable joy. Gratitude. Gut-wrenching fear. Overwhelming love and tenderness for the woman he was holding in his hands.

“When? How?”

He ended the sputtering before he turned into a blithering idiot.

“Rusty went to buy me a home pregnancy test after she got to the house tonight. I was sick in the bathroom, so she went out for me. She bought two, and I took them both. They both came up positive.”

He frowned. “Sick? Are you all right?”

She leaned into him, nuzzling her face into the side of his neck. “I’m fine. Just normal pregnancy stuff. I shouldn’t have sipped the wine. I knew… I mean I suspected there was a chance. I’ve felt off for several days. Sick in the mornings and afternoons. Overwhelming fatigue. Tenderness in my breasts. I think I was just afraid to have it confirmed.”

He stroked his hands down her body, caressing, just wanting to touch her in some way. He laid his cheek on the top of her head and cuddled her even closer, his heart about to burst right out of his chest.

“Are you okay now? Do you need anything?” he asked anxiously.

He felt her smile against his neck.

“Right now I couldn’t be more perfect. I’m right where I want to be.”

He pulled her up his body even more until her mouth hovered precariously close to his.

“Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

Her smile lit up the entire room once more.

“As a matter of fact, you have, but I never get tired of hearing it.”

“A baby,” he said in awe.

It was too much for him to comprehend. Oh, they’d talked about it. Seriously. They’d not made the decision to start trying for a baby lightly. It had taken months for them to talk out all the possibilities, the potential issues that could arise, whether they were ready for parenthood, whether their fragile relationship could withstand the risks involved.

They’d even talked about it in therapy.

Nothing about this decision had been made lightly, and yet Ethan was gobsmacked now that the reality was staring him in the face.

A baby.

A son or a daughter.

A part of Rachel, a woman who meant the world to him. Who meant everything to him.

His own eyes burned, and he blinked away the discomfort. His stomach clenched into a ball, and his chest tightened and flexed uncomfortably.

“Are you happy about it?” she asked anxiously.

He stared up in stupefaction at the worried glint in her eyes. He gathered her more closely, until their noses touched and their breaths mingled.

“Oh baby, I’m over the freaking moon. I don’t even have words. Happy? That seems such a pussy word for what I’m feeling right now. God, I’m happy, but I’m also scared shitless for you.”

Her smile was gentle, and she reached up to touch his cheek. “I’ll be fine, Ethan. I have you now.”

That one statement. Just those simple words had the power to undo him. He had to close his eyes to prevent himself from completely breaking down and unmanning himself.

“Yes, you have me now,” he said hoarsely, so choked up that he could barely get the words out.

She hadn’t had him before. They both knew it. He’d checked out of their relationship early on. He was never there for her when she needed him. And after her miscarriage it got even worse.

He’d very nearly destroyed the one good thing in his life. The one person he loved beyond reason, and he’d tried his damnedest to push her away.

“You’ll always have me, Rachel. You and our baby both will have me. I swear it. You’ll never have to worry about whether I’m with you or not.”

She caressed his cheek with loving hands and then pressed her mouth carefully to his.

“I’m not worried, Ethan,” she whispered against his mouth, her words swallowed up when he inhaled.

“When do you want to tell the rest of the family?” he asked.

They’d be so thrilled. Though most of his brothers had gone on to marry, Rachel was still the first. She was dearly loved by his brothers and his parents. By his sisters-in-law as well. Rachel’s pregnancy would be greeted with so much love and enthusiasm. He had no doubt that when the day came for her to deliver, that every single Kelly would be crowded around at the hospital, all holding their breath waiting for his son or daughter to arrive.

She licked her lips nervously as she pulled away. For the first time, anxiety burned in her eyes.

It was automatic for him to reach for her. To take her hands. To reassure her in some way.

She vibrated with unease.

“I don’t think we should say anything yet,” she said in a low voice. “It’s early yet. I honestly don’t remember when my last period was. They were kind of irregular after I stopped taking birth control, and I didn’t think anything of it. So I honestly don’t know how far along I am. I won’t know until I see a doctor.”

She took another breath and plunged ahead.

“I’d hate to make this big announcement and for everyone to be so happy and excited for us and then for something to happen. Like last time,” she choked out.

He hugged her to him, stroking his hand over her hair. Though her first miscarriage had happened some years ago, for her it was like yesterday because she hadn’t regained her memory of the event until recently.

“I don’t think I could bear it,” she said in a muffled voice. “It would be bad enough that we knew of our loss, but for everyone else to also have to grieve. I’d rather wait until I’m further along before we tell the others.”

“I agree,” he said firmly.

She swallowed and pulled away to look him in the eye.

“Will you go with me to the doctor? I want so much for you to be with me. For you to share every step of the process with me.”

He grasped her shoulders with gentle hands, but his gaze was intent and fierce.

“Rachel, baby, I’m going to be with you every single minute of the way. I swear it. There is  nothing that’s more important to me than you and our baby. Not KGI, not a mission. Nothing. I need you to understand that. No matter what’s happened in the past between us, this is the new us, okay? You come first. Always.”

Joy flared in her eyes. And relief. It was a painful reminder of his past mistakes. But they were mistakes he’d never make again.

He slid his hand down the silky bodice of her top until it rested over her slim belly.

“Our child,” he said in wonder.

She put her hands over his and squeezed. A splash of moisture dripped onto his hand, and he glanced up to see silver trails down her cheeks.

For once, the sight of her tears didn’t rip his heart wide open. Because these weren’t tears of grief or pain. They were tears of extreme joy. Her smile was as wide as a mile, and it was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen in his life.

He’d carry to his deathbed this memory of her on her knees between his legs, his hands covering her belly as she cried tears of happiness.

“We did it, Ethan,” she whispered huskily.

“Hell yeah, we did,” he murmured just before he pressed in to devour her mouth.

Chapter 5

It was typical for Rachel to get up when Ethan did, and while he was out for his run, she’d make breakfast. She loved the early morning routine they’d comfortably fallen into.

Usually she’d brew a pot of coffee because Ethan liked a cup after downing a bottle of water after his workout. But this morning—as with every morning of the past week—the smell of coffee nearly did her in.

Perspiration beaded her forehead, and she swallowed huge gulps of air to try and steady her rebelling stomach. Unfortunately for her, the typical fare she made for breakfast didn’t at all agree with her now that she was pregnant.

Eggs made her want to hurl. Bacon nauseated her. Sweet rolls made her clench her teeth and breathe through her nose. The only safe bet seemed to be dry toast or bread products like croissants or biscuits.

She was leaning over the counter, inhaling settling breaths, when Ethan came in from his run.

“Rachel?” he asked sharply. “Are you okay?”

She quickly twisted around, forcing an appeasing smile to her face. The last thing she wanted was for him to worry. He’d do enough of that on his own without her help.

“I’m fine,” she reassured him. “Honestly. It’s just that certain foods set me off now. Particularly breakfast stuff. I’m super queasy in the mornings. Less so in the afternoons, but I still have to be careful. Eggs and bacon in particular seem to trigger my symptoms.”

Ethan frowned and then carefully moved her away from the stove where the bacon still sizzled and the eggs were hardening up and becoming fluffy.

“Sit,” he ordered.

Then he returned to the stove and finished the eggs and bacon, plating them while she watched.

“What  can you eat?” he asked.

“Toast. A croissant. Anything dry.”

“What can you drink?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Mainly Sprite but we don’t have any. I just got the bare essentials at the grocery store yesterday. I need to do a full blown shopping trip today.”

His frown deepened as he popped bread into the toaster.

“We need to talk about the rest of the move. I know you’d planned to go pack boxes and stuff, but I don’t like the idea of you being alone at the house packing around heavier stuff. I know you don’t want to tell the family yet, so we can’t go to them with why I don’t want you doing very much.”

She started to protest but he shook his head, his eyes glinting with the stubbornness the Kellys were famous for.

“It’s Saturday. We aren’t training today so I’ll see if my brothers are free to come help pack boxes and get them onto the truck. If we can get it all done in one big push this weekend then we won’t be unpacking this crap for weeks.”

She nodded her agreement. “I need to go shopping. I have an entire list of stuff we need. I’ll call Rusty and see if she wants to go.”

“Good idea.”

He lightly buttered the toasted bread and slid the saucer across the bar toward her. Her stomach rumbled, and her mouth watered in that icky way it did right before she usually got sick.

She stared cautiously at the bread and then peeked up at Ethan. His expression was worried but even she couldn’t eat it just to appease him.

“I can’t,” she said honestly.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked anxiously.

She smiled and shook her head. “I’ll be fine. I haven’t eaten much of anything in the mornings for the last several days. Usually around noon, my stomach starts protesting and demanding something to eat.”

“Any particular cravings you have? You name it, and I’ll make sure you have it for lunch.”

Her chest ached with the love she felt for him.

“Maybe not for lunch, but if someone wanted to break out the grill tonight and dish up some Kelly barbeque, I certainly wouldn’t complain.”

“I’ll get Van on it,” Ethan said slyly. “He can’t resist anything for you. If I tell him you want some, he’ll do it.”

Rachel shook her head, stifling her laughter.

“Okay, so you’ll have the guys over to get the rest of the stuff from the other house, and I’m going shopping with Rusty.”

“Yep,” Ethan said. “Unless you need one of the guys to go shopping with you. I don’t want you lifting anything too heavy.”

She rolled her eyes. “I think I can manage groceries. I’ll pick up something for the grill while I’m out too.”

Ethan nodded.

Rachel reached for her cell phone just as it went off. She stared at the incoming number and other than recognizing it as local, she didn’t have it in her address book.

“Hello?” she said as she put the phone to her ear.

“Mrs. Kelly. This is Principal Talbot at the middle school. How are you today?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” she said politely.

“I apologize for calling you on a Saturday, but I have a situation with one of my teachers. Mrs. Ashton was in a car accident last night.”

“Oh, I hope she’s all right.”

“She’ll make a full recovery. But she’s going to be out for several weeks, and I’m scrambling to try and fill her position. I wondered if you’d be interested in taking over her class while she’s on leave.”

Rachel’s eyes widened. “Yes, yes, of course I would.”

She could see Ethan’s eyebrows go up in question from across the bar, and she held up one finger to signal that she’d let him know momentarily.

“That’s wonderful. We appreciate your willingness to step in. If you’d like to come in a little early on Monday, one of the other teachers will brief you on where the children are.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be there.”

“Okay then, I’ll see you on Monday, and again, thank you.”

“No problem. I’ll see you then.”

She ended the call and then stared up at Ethan, excitement dancing up her spine.

“One of the other teachers is going to be out for a few weeks, and they want me to fill in.”

Ethan was silent for a moment. His words were careful when he spoke. “Do you think this is a good idea? For you to go back to work being pregnant?”

She shot him a look of surprise. It never occurred to her that it wouldn’t be okay.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t,” Ethan hastily added. “And I’m certainly not telling you I don’t want you to work. Even if I don’t,” he added ruefully. “I just want to make sure this is something that doesn’t hurt you or the baby.”

Her tension eased and she smiled. “We’ll be fine. Pregnant women work every single day. If I have to sit at home for my entire pregnancy, I’ll go insane. I’ll never make it. Teaching will give me something to focus on rather than worrying obsessively over the baby.”

Ethan nodded. “I just want you to be sure.”

“I am,” she said resolutely. “Now, I’m going to call Rusty and get going so we aren’t shopping the entire day. I’ve got my heart set on barbeque tonight.”

Chapter 6

Rachel checked her text messages and smiled when she saw three from Ethan. Two were checking up on her to see how she was coping at work, and the third was to let her know he’d gotten her an appointment right after school with an obstetrician in Murray, Kentucky, which was not far from where they lived, just across the border.

There was a big women’s clinic in Murray, and she preferred to use it rather than the much smaller hospital and clinic in Paris, Tennessee.

She sent a quick text back saying she’d meet him at the clinic and then turned her attention back to the papers in front of her. It was her planning period, and the classroom was empty of students and eerily quiet.

Her first day had gone well. Far better than she’d anticipated. Oddly, she hadn’t suffered the attack of nerves she had on the day she’d substituted the previous week.

For now, at least, this was her class. These were her kids.

She frowned when she got to the paper of one of the girls in her class. Rachel knew the child to be particularly bright. Her grades reflected a studious nature and someone who took her classes very seriously.

The test hadn’t even been completed. There were doodles up and down the margins. The name had been filled out and the few questions she had answered bore the responses of “I don’t care” or “Who cares?” The rest were left blank, and the paper was worn and crumpled as if the girl had fidgeted and toyed with it the entire testing period.

Rachel put the test to the side, determined to delve further into the matter.

She was absorbed in grading the rest of the test papers when the bell rang, startling her from her concentration. A moment later, the students began to file into the room, and she quickly sought out the girl whose paper had been rife with incorrect and unanswered questions.

Jennifer was her name, and she was a beautiful, shy little girl. Not yet up with most of her classmates who were beginning to experiment with make-up and showing mad interest in boys.

Rachel watched as Jennifer took her seat and hunched over at her desk, not looking anywhere but in front of her.

Something was terribly wrong, and Rachel just hoped it wasn’t too complicated.

It was difficult to continue casually in class without drawing notice to the fact she was preoccupied with Jennifer. The very last thing she wanted was to make the girl uncomfortable or draw attention to her.

When the final bell of the day rang, dismissing the kids to the respective bus and car lines, Rachel breathed a sigh of relief.

“Jennifer,” she called softly when the girl got up to depart the room. “Can I have a moment please?”

Jennifer turned, her eyes wide with alarm. Nervousness radiated from her in tangible waves, and she fidgeted as she approached the desk.

“I won’t keep you long so you won’t miss your bus,” Rachel said gently. “I was looking at your test paper from earlier and wondered what was wrong. It’s not like you not to perform well on an exam. You’re an excellent student with an A average in all subjects.”

Jennifer’s face crumpled as tears flashed in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Kelly. I know what I did was wrong. I was just so angry and upset.”

Rachel put her hand on Jennifer’s and squeezed gently. “I’m more concerned about you than I am one test grade. Is everything okay at home?”

“N-no,” Jennifer sobbed. “My mom and dad are splitting up and it just sucks. They’re so selfish. They fight all the time, and they never think of anyone but themselves. They don’t care about me.”

Rachel’s heart sank as she viewed the devastation in the younger girl’s eyes. Thirteen was such a hard age under any circumstances. Let alone when your entire family was crumbling in front of you.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” Rachel said. “I know how upset you must be. I’m sure your mom and dad love you very much. Sometimes adults forget themselves and react emotionally, and often they say things they don’t mean.”

“Maybe,” Jennifer mumbled.

“How about you come in on your lunch break tomorrow, and I’ll let you retake your exam,” Rachel offered.

Jennifer lifted her head, her eyes a little more hopeful than before and not so desolate. “You’d do that for me? I don’t deserve a second chance. I screwed up big time.”

Rachel smiled. “Honey, we all deserve a second chance.”

“Thanks, Ms. Kelly. You’re the best. I’ll be here. Promise.”

“Keep your chin up, okay? Things will get better.”

Jennifer sighed but didn’t respond. She turned, clutching her books to her chest, and hurried out the door.

* * *

Rachel sat in stunned silence in the exam room, hardly able to process what the doctor had told her. It was shocking enough to find out she was, by the doctor’s approximation, at least twelve weeks along, but when he’d done the internal sonogram to ascertain fetal age, he’d found two heartbeats.

Twins.

She couldn’t even wrap her head around it. Her hands shook every time she pried them away from one another, so she finally gave up and left them clasped tightly in her lap.

Ethan leaned against the exam table where she sat, her legs dangling over the edge, and he seemed every bit as in shock as she was.

His breath was explosive in the small room.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “Twins.”

Then he turned to her, his eyes glowing with excitement.

“Twins!” he said again.

A broad smile attacked her face, and then she latched onto Ethan’s shoulders all but shaking him in her excitement.

“Oh my God, Ethan. Two babies.”

She felt light-headed, and for a moment she wobbled like a drunken party girl in four-inch heels. Ethan made a grab for her and held her steady so she didn’t fall off the exam table.

“Whoa, sweetheart. Why don’t you come over here and sit. I don’t want you taking a header.”

He led her to the chair against the wall and then eased her down. He knelt in front of her, her hands gathered in his.

“We’re so blessed,” she whispered. “I can hardly believe it.”

He smoothed the hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. There was concern as well as elation in his eyes.

“We’re going to have to be careful, baby. You’re going to have to take it easy. I don’t want anything to happen to you or to the babies.”

She leaned into him, touching her forehead to his. “I’m scared out of my mind, but I’m so happy and giddy that I could just explode.”

He kissed her softly. “I’m scared too. Terrified is probably a better word. This time is going to be different, Rachel. I swear it.”

She looked at him long and hard, love welling from deep within her as she took in the sincerity of his words.

“I lost a lot of my memories,” she said in a low voice. “Some have returned. Some have stayed buried. But perhaps the miscarriage should be a memory we both agree to put away and keep in the past where it belongs. It has no place in the here and now and serves no purpose except to make our hearts heavy with regret.”

For a long moment he went completely silent. There was a wealth of emotion burning in those blue eyes. His lips were firm, almost as if he were keeping a tight leash on his emotions and keeping himself in check.

“I love you,” she said.

He hauled her into his arms and held on so tightly she couldn’t breathe. His entire body heaved against her as his breaths tore raggedly from his chest.

“I love you too,” he choked out. “God, I love you so much, Rachel. I love our babies.”

Slowly he released her and pulled back, a look of awe on his face.

“ Ourbabies ,” he whispered.

Tears slid unheeded down her cheeks, and her face hurt from the wide smile cracking her lips ever upward.

“Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about how the news was received,” the doctor said from the doorway.

Rachel and Ethan both turned to see the middle-aged obstetrician standing in the doorway, a grin on his face.

Ethan scrambled up, and Rachel started to rise herself, but the doctor motioned her down.

“Sit, sit,” he urged. “I won’t keep you long. I know this has all been quite a shock for you, and you’ll want and need time to soak it all in.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Ethan murmured.

The doctor leaned against the exam table as he studied her chart.

“You’ve had one previous miscarriage, is that correct?”

Rachel nodded, refusing to allow anything to dampen her euphoria.

“Miscarriages are a lot more common than most people realize,” the doctor continued. “There’s no obvious reason why you won’t be able to have a perfectly normal pregnancy and deliver two healthy, squalling babies.”

She grinned at the image, and Ethan reached over to squeeze her hand.

“You automatically go into the high-risk category, as anyone pregnant with multiples does,” he said matter-of-factly. “That doesn’t mean anything more than you’ll need to take extra care to rest. Take it easy. Don’t try to lift anything heavy. Don’t overdo it. Moderate exercise is fine. Nothing too strenuous. Make sure you’re eating enough. If the old adage eating for two is correct, then realize you’re eating for three.”

He chuckled as he said the last.

“For now I’ll see you once a month, and later I’ll want to see you every two weeks. We’ll watch you a lot more closely, and we’ll monitor the babies as it gets closer to your due date. In some cases, it becomes necessary to take the babies before the normal gestational period is up, but there are more full-term sets of twins being born all the time. It really depends on mother and babies. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now go home, celebrate, take it easy, and I’ll see you back here in four weeks. If you have any problems or questions, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Thank you,” Ethan said, extending his hand.

The doctor smiled and shook Ethan’s hand and then took Rachel’s. “Congratulations to the both of you.”

“Thank you,” Rachel murmured, echoing Ethan’s words.

The doctor disappeared, leaving the two alone in the exam room. As Rachel rose from the chair, the nurse bustled in with an appointment card and a prescription for prenatal vitamins.

“We’ll want to redo labs when you come in next month just to make sure your HCG levels are where they should be. Nothing to worry about. Just routine stuff.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said.

The nurse smiled and backed from the room then gestured for Ethan and Rachel to go ahead of her.

Rachel walked through the waiting room, numb, somewhere between shock and utter elation. She still couldn’t take it all in.

“Are you going to be okay to drive?” Ethan asked, a frown covering his face.

She blinked, remembering that they’d taken separate vehicles to the clinic. She shook off some of the fog surrounding her and then nodded.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll follow you. No sense leaving my car here.”

He pulled her into his arms and gave her a long, sweet kiss.

“Twins. I still can’t believe it.”

She shook her head ruefully. “Neither can I. Oh my God. You realize I’ll start showing soon. Like any time. I can’t believe I’m already twelve weeks. With two in there, I’ll pop out like a beach ball.”

“You’ll be the most adorable, gorgeous pregnant woman ever,” Ethan said, a warm glint to his eyes.

“Oh, Ethan. I can’t even take it all in. I feel like someone’s going to pinch me any minute and I’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream. This has been the most wonderful week. We moved into our new home. I started back teaching. And now we’re having two babies instead of one.”

His expression became totally serious. He reached up to touch her face, stroking down the curve of her cheekbone with a whisper-soft caress.

“Every single day with you is a dream I always fear I’ll awaken from. You’re a gift, Rachel. You and the babies are the most treasured gift I’ve ever been given. I don’t deserve it, but by God I’m going to cherish it for the rest of my life.”

Chapter 7

Rachel stood outside her old house, keys in hand, staring at the place she’d called home for her entire married life to Ethan.

The realtor had just left, and a brand new “for sale” sign was now mounted in her front yard.

She examined her feelings for some sign of regret. Sadness. Nostalgia even. But the only thing she could put her finger on was…relief.

Now that she was pregnant, her relief was compounded by the fact that she wouldn’t bring her babies home to a place that still held so much darkness for Rachel.

She took a deep breath and made the effort to let go. Of the past. The memories. The hurt. And the sadness. There was so much joy to replace the sorrows of yesterday. A new house. Precious babies nestled in her womb. A husband and a family who loved her dearly.

She closed her eyes and let the crispness of the fall winds blow over her face. The scratch of leaves on the concrete walkway and the faint smell of smoke in the distance brought home the changing season.

Change was in the air.

Changing seasons. Changing lives. All for the better.

The sound of a car crunching over the gravel drive diverted her from her reverie and turned her around, her brows drawn together as she looked to see who was approaching.

It was her sister-in-law Sophie’s SUV, but when it stopped, Sarah and Shea hopped out as Sophie got from behind the wheel.

“What are you guys doing here?” Rachel asked in bewilderment.

“We’re kidnapping you for dinner,” Shea said smugly.

Sarah smiled and nodded. “Yep. That’s exactly what we’re doing. Thought we’d go over to Big Sandy and eat at the Feed and Grain Mill.”

“Oh yum. You guys totally know my weakness.”

“Thought you could use some girl time about now,” Sophie said in a gentle voice. “A lot has been going on with you lately.”

“That sounds absolutely perfect,” Rachel said, warmed by the friendship in each of their eyes.

She turned one last time and stared at the empty shell of a house. It had no power over her any longer. She was free of it and the memories it housed. She could let go now and focus on the future.

“Why don’t we follow you to the new house so you can drop off your car, and then we’ll all ride together in my SUV,” Sophie suggested.

“Sounds like a plan,” Rachel said.

“I’ll ride over with Rachel,” Shea volunteered. “We’ll see you guys in a minute.”

Shea climbed into the passenger seat of Rachel’s Honda Accord while Rachel slid behind the wheel.

“Is Sam keeping Charlotte tonight?” Rachel asked as they pulled away.

Shea chuckled. “He and Nathan are both on babysitting duty. It’ll be interesting to see if Sophie’s phone starts blowing up in an hour.”

“Speaking of, can you grab my cell and send Ethan a text telling him what we’re doing? It’ll save time if I don’t go in and explain.”

“Sure.”

Shea picked up Rachel’s phone and brought up Ethan in the text messages and promptly froze.

“Uh, Rachel?”

“Hmm?” Rachel made a questioning sound, not looking away from the road as she turned out of the neighborhood and onto the highway.

“Look, I wasn’t prying or anything. It’s kind of right here and impossible to miss.”

Rachel went still. “Oh crap. I completely forgot. I wasn’t even thinking.”

“Does that mean you are pregnant?” Shea asked hesitantly.

Rachel sighed. “Yeah, I am.”

Shea sent her a dubious look. “You don’t sound happy about it.”

Rachel lit up with a smile. Not happy? Never in a million years.

“I’m over the moon,” she said softly. “We both are. I just hadn’t planned to tell you or anyone else this way. We only just found out. It was quite a shock. When I first suspected, I wanted to wait until after the first trimester in case…”

“I understand,” Shea said.

“But then we went to the doctor and I’m further along than I thought. And…” She glanced over at Shea and bit her lip to keep from shouting it out. “We’re having twins.”

“Oh my God, Rachel!” Shea screeched. “Holy shit. Twins? Are you serious?”

Rachel nodded, beaming the entire time. “But you can’t tell anyone yet. We want to wait for just the right time. And honestly I need a few days to adjust to it myself before I hit the family with something like this.”

“Oh Rachel, I’m so happy for you and Ethan,” Shea said with a dreamy sigh. “I know how much this has to mean to you. Oh my God, I’m so excited! I’m going to be an aunt!”

“You’re already an aunt, dork,” Rachel said, laughing.

“Yes, but Charlotte was already here by the time I came along. This will be the first time I was here from the very beginning.”

Rachel reached over to squeeze her hand. “I’m glad you’re here with us, Shea. I wish Grace could be here more often.”

Shea’s expression didn’t fade a bit at the mention of her sister. Grace was married to Rio, one of the team leaders of KGI, and they lived in Belize when Rio wasn’t off on a mission.

What made the sisters so unique is that they both had telepathic abilities and could communicate from great distances.

“I talk to her daily,” Shea said cheerfully. “It’s almost like having her here. And Rio brings her when he goes out on a mission. He hates the idea of Grace and Elizabeth being alone.”

Elizabeth was the pre-teen girl that Rio and Grace had adopted after her father had been killed in the mission that brought Rio and Grace together. Rio was insanely protective of them both. But then all the men of KGI had protective streaks a mile wide.

As they began the drive over the bridge where Rachel had once nearly plummeted over, her palms grew sweaty on the steering wheel, and it was instinctive to accelerate while staying to the far inside lane.

By the time they got across, the steering wheel was damp under her palms.

It was her hope that one day she could conquer her fear of that bridge, but the mere sight of it still sent a wave of panic down her spine.

When they pulled up to the gates of the compound, for a moment Rachel went blank on the security code. She sat there staring at the keypad, feeling like the biggest moron.

“39561*425,” Shea supplied.

“Thank you,” Rachel said as she punched it in. “I’m still not used to having to access my house through a security net.”

“It makes the guys feel better,” Shea said with a shrug. “I guess by the time the children come along, we’ll feel the same.”

“You’re right there,” Rachel acknowledged.

And it was true. She wanted her children safe above all else. With the things that had already happened to the family over the past years, it wasn’t a stretch to believe that their children would be at risk.

It was a sobering reality of the profession the Kellys had taken on and the missions they were involved with.

She drove toward her house in the distance. The idea of living on a compound with other members of the family sounded a bit hokey and even a little creepy on the surface. But each house was set up so that it maintained its privacy from the other houses. They could see as little or as much of the rest of the family as they wanted. It was no different than living in any other planned subdivision. At least this way they got to choose their neighbors.

The houses were spread out and backed up to the lake so that each one had a magnificent view of the water. The training facilities and the war room where most of the planning and staging went on were well away from the houses so that there was at least a semblance of normalcy to the residences.

So far the only holdouts were Donovan and Joe and then, of course, Frank and Marlene. Sam was working steadily on his parents, but they’d refused to consider moving from the house they’d live in for forty-some odd years.

Rachel couldn’t really blame them, but she, like Sam, worried for their safety. Marlene had already been kidnapped once. It had been a sharp reminder to them all how close danger lurked at all times.

Ethan was waiting for them, leaning against his truck, as Rachel pulled up. He offered Shea a smile and called out a hello just as Sophie pulled in behind Rachel in her SUV.

“Girls night out, huh,” he said as he dropped a kiss on Rachel’s lips.

“Yep. Sam and Nathan are holding down the fort over at Sam and Sophie’s. You should go offer them moral support.”

Ethan laughed. “More likely I’ll watch while Charlotte paints their fingernails, and then I’ll get to call them pussies.”

Sophie glared at Ethan. “Just wait, Ethan. Your day is coming. Miss Charlotte will corner you, and I guarantee that you won’t tell that child no, and you’ll be sporting pink, glittery fingernails and toenails.”

“God help me,” Ethan muttered.

The rest of the women laughed.

“You ready, Rachel?” Sophie asked.

“Have fun and be careful,” Ethan said as the women turned to go.

Rachel and the others waved and then climbed back into Sophie’s SUV.

Thirty minutes later, they were seated at one of the back round tables at the Big Sandy Feed and Grain Mill sipping iced tea and waiting for their food to arrive.

Sarah cleared her throat. “I propose a toast.”

Sophie grabbed up her mason jar mug. “Oh do tell. I’m up for a good toast.”

“To a truly eventful couple of years and coming out on top just like the Kellys always do,” Sarah said solemnly. “And!” she broke in when the others would have toasted. “To Rachel and Ethan’s new beginning.”

Shea sent Rachel a secret smile and then raised her glass. Rachel grinned at her sisters-in-law and said, “I’ll certainly drink to that.”

The rest of the evening was spent laughing and poking fun at the Kelly men, but it was obvious the women adored their husbands beyond reason. It was also evident that the Kelly brothers loved their wives just as fiercely.

Rachel gazed wistfully at her sisters by marriage and imagined them all with children. Holidays and birthdays. All gathered under one roof with Frank and Marlene looking on at their brood of children, both blood and honorary. Marlene did tend to lay claim to people whether they wanted to be claimed or not.

At that particular random thought, Rachel’s brow puckered, and she frowned.

“Has anyone seen Sean lately? With how crazy the move has been and going back to teaching, I haven’t seen him in weeks. And he didn’t come over to help move, which is not like him. He’s always so willing to jump in and lend a hand.”

Sean had been there more than once for Rachel when she was still finding her way in the aftermath of her return home. The sheriff’s deputy was younger than all the Kelly brothers, but he was as solid and dependable as someone well above his age.

“I heard Sam talking to him the other day on the phone,” Sophie piped up. “Sean’s been working a case in cooperation with Henry County and the state police. Sounded like a big drug ring. They’ve pulled in city and county guys for this. He’s been working a lot of long hours. Sam sounded worried about him.”

Rachel sighed. “There are times when I wish he’d go to work for KGI, but he doesn’t have the experience yet, and then I think how silly it is to think he’d be any safer going off on the kinds of missions our husbands do.”

Sarah nodded. “I understand what you mean though. It’s reassuring to think of him having that kind of back-up system, you know? We know nothing about the kind of men Sean works with currently, but we certainly know our guys would look out for him.”

“That’s exactly what I mean,” Rachel said in agreement. “I was happy when Swanny joined them.”

“Oh me too,” Shea said in a rush. “My heart just aches for him. He’s so…alone. If you only knew what he and Nathan endured…”

Her voice trailed off and her features went bleak. Rachel reached over to squeeze her hand. Shea had gone through a lot to help Nathan and Swanny escape after months of them being tortured by the enemy. She more than anyone knew precisely what the two men had suffered. She knew because she’d suffered along with them and for them.

“Mama Kelly will work him over,” Sophie said with a chuckle. “Do you see how he is around her? It’s so cute. He’s completely bemused by her. She pats him and calls him her baby, and I swear the big man just melts in a puddle at her feet.”

Everyone laughed and warmth filled Rachel’s heart. Life was good. The very best. She was surrounded by people who loved her and whom she loved with all her heart.

There wasn’t a single Kelly by birth or marriage who wouldn’t do anything he or she could to help another family member. She thought briefly of Jennifer from her class and how broken up the little girl was over her family deteriorating.

She swallowed the knot in her throat.

But by the grace of God go I.  It had been her. Only she’d gotten a second chance. Redemption.

“Do you think P.J. will come back?” Sarah asked in a quiet voice. “I’m so worried about her.”

The others fell silent.

P.J. had been instrumental in each of their lives. She’d gone on the mission to rescue Rachel from Colombia. She’d been there when Sophie had traded herself for Marlene Kelly and gone back to her madman of a father. She had been there when Sarah’s brother had died taking a bullet meant for Sarah. And she’d been instrumental in reuniting Shea with Nathan when Shea had been abducted by the people pursuing Shea and her sister, Grace. For that matter, she’d been there covering the women’s husbands when Grace had surrendered herself in order to prevent members of KGI from dying.

P.J. was a fixture of KGI. She was always there, protecting their husbands when they put their lives on the line. Rachel would never fully be able to express her gratitude to the other woman. There simply weren’t adequate words.

She just hoped she had the opportunity to try one day. P.J. had fell off the map months earlier and her team was mourning their loss. They weren’t the same without her.

“I worry about her too,” Sophie said softly.

“She’ll be back,” Shea said confidently, though her voice lacked conviction. “She’s tough and she’s a fighter. I don’t see her wimping out. She just needs time.”

Everyone nodded at that. It was a concept they were all familiar with. Time healed all wounds. Time and…love.

Sarah checked her watch and winced regretfully. “We better wrap this up soon. I know the guys have to be up early in the morning for training drills.”

“I have to be up early for work,” Rachel said in a rueful tone. She sighed. “That sounds so nice to say again.”

“Are you loving it?” Sarah asked.

“I really am,” Rachel replied. “I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I went back that first day. I love teaching. It’s a part of who I am, and I’m tired of being a different person.”

“Good for you,” Sophie said, reaching across to squeeze her hand. “We’re all so proud of you, Rachel. You’re such an example. I’m so glad my daughter has you to look up to.”

Rachel’s mouth dropped open in astonishment, and she looked at the other women like they’d lost their minds. Then she laughed because she simply couldn’t help it.

“Don’t laugh,” Sarah said in her quiet voice. “We’re all aware of your story. What you endured. How you never gave up. And how resilient you’ve been. It takes a very strong woman to endure what you did and to not only survive but to triumph over such adversity.”

“Oh God, you guys, don’t make me cry,” Rachel choked out.

She dabbed furiously at her eyes to prevent the flow of any tears.

Laughter rounded the table, breaking the serious tone that had settled over the group. They paid their checks and then headed out to the truck.

As they drove back, Rachel’s hand went unconsciously to her belly, and she marveled that she was shielding two tiny lives deep in her womb.

She couldn’t wait to tell the rest of the family. Couldn’t wait to bask in the joy of the moment. It would be her moment in the sun after a long sojourn in the shadows.

Chapter 8

“Did you enjoy your evening out?” Ethan asked as he pulled her down against him on the couch.

She snuggled in his arms, enjoying the feel of his bare chest against her cheek.

She’d changed into another of the sexy little night outfits she knew drove him crazy, and he was wearing his boxers. She loved evenings like this when they just snuggled on the couch and watched television or even just talked about nothing at all.

“It was fun. It’s been awhile since we did anything together. Everyone’s been so busy, and Sarah and Garrett and Nathan and Shea were off on their honeymoons.”

“And we were moving,” he added.

“Yes, finally,” she said with a happy sigh.

He went still against her, his breathing soft and even, but he was tense, his muscles firm and unrelaxed. After a moment she pushed herself upward and cocked her head in a questioning manner.

“Is something wrong, Ethan?”

His brow furrowed a moment, and then he pushed up to his elbow so their faces were more level. He seemed hesitant to say what was on his mind.

“I get the impression you were eager to move,” he began.

She nodded.

“I mean I know you were excited about the new house. I guess I don’t understand…”

He drifted off and then closed his lips, almost as if he’d decided not to bring up whatever it was that was nagging him.

“What don’t you understand?” she prompted.

“I admitted that I was surprised you went with a design so dramatically different than our old house. It was almost as if you wanted nothing at all to be the same. And then you seemed so relieved when we moved out, and I’ve noticed that you’re happier since we started living here.”

She studied him a moment, hating the conversation she knew they were going to be forced to have. “That bothers you.”

She didn’t pose it as a question because it was obvious that it did bother him.

“Yeah, I guess it does,” he admitted. Then he shook his head. “It’s stupid of me. I’m just glad you’re happy. I want you to be happy.”

“I am,” she said gently.

“But you weren’t happy at the old house.”

Slowly she shook her head, knowing she couldn’t lie to him. She wouldn’t lie to him, not even to spare his feelings.

“Why?” he asked, his voice cracking with that one word.

She pushed herself upward until she’d repositioned herself so that she sat opposite him with her knees bent against his chest and her hip firmly nestled into his groin.

“You have to understand what it was like for me,” she said in a low voice. “Regaining memories at random times. And each time something came back to me, it was fresh and vibrant in my mind. As though it had just happened instead of years before. Not all of them were happy memories.”

She glanced helplessly up at him, knowing there was no way to make it any easier for him to hear.

He flinched but maintained her gaze, as if he were determined to pay his penance and not back away from the reminder of the things he’d said and done.

“Some of the worst moments of my life happened in that house,” she said, an ache in her voice. “I just felt that if we were ever truly going to have a fresh start, that we had to begin with a completely clean slate. And we have that now. A brand new home just in time for the precious babies we’ll have. A place where we can start over and make new memories to replace the painful ones.”

Moisture glimmered in Ethan’s eyes before it was blinked away. Then he pulled her down, his hand cupping the back of her neck. Their foreheads touched and then their mouths.

“I love you,” he said, his voice clogged with regret and so much pain.

“I love you too,” she whispered back.

“This house will hold only happy memories for you,” he vowed. “For you and me and the babies. We’ll start right.”

She smiled. “Yeah, we will.”

“We haven’t yet christened the new bedroom,” he said, his voice husky and laced with suggestion.

“Mmm, however did we miss out on that?”

“It’s an error I have to correct immediately.”

“I agree.”

He sat up and then scooted down the couch so he could get up without sending her sprawling. Then he simply reached down and plucked her from the sofa.

She landed gently against his chest, his arms firmly around her. Protective. And so loving.

He carried her into the bedroom and laid her out on the bed, staring down at her with sinful promise in his eyes.

His hands skittered up her thighs, and he slid his fingers underneath the waistband of the satin shorts. As he began to slowly pull them down, his eyes darkened, and he stared accusingly at her.

“No underwear? You intended to seduce me all along.”

She gave him an exaggerated innocent look, widening her eyes as she stared up at him. “Maaaaybe.”

He chuckled and then lowered his mouth to the soft juncture of her legs, pressing a kiss to the vee. She shivered and closed her eyes as chill bumps raced each other over her belly and to her breasts.

As he nuzzled deeper into the soft flesh between her legs, his hands wandered upward, sliding the top up over her breasts. Just as his fingers found her painfully erect nipples, his tongue swiped over her clitoris sending another spasm of bone-melting pleasure through her body.

Her palm glided through his hair as her fingers flexed and curled against his head. It was an erotic image, her guiding and directing him, holding him there so his tongue hit just the right places.

She moaned softly and arched into him as she reached for the pleasure he offered.

He lifted his head and then moved up her body to remove the top completely. After he’d tossed it away, he lowered his head to her belly. Framing her waist in his big hands, he bestowed the most tender of kisses right over her womb where their children were nestled.

“Your mama and your daddy can’t wait to meet you,” he whispered against her skin.

“Ethan, I need you,” she pleaded, her heart so full of love she was near to bursting. “Make love to me, please. I don’t want to wait. I need you inside me.”

He didn’t move right away. Instead he pressed a trail of kisses up her midline before moving to her breast. He licked a trail around one puckered nipple and then sucked it into his mouth.

He was exquisitely gentle. He seemed to know just how tender her breasts were as a result of pregnancy. The slightest manipulation had her gasping for breath and her senses screaming for mercy.

His dark head moved to the other nipple, and he lazily traced a similar line around the hard peak before tucking it in his mouth to suckle.

In turns he gave each breast careful tugs with his mouth, increasing her pleasure and weaving delicious tension into her body. She coiled tighter and tighter as his hand slid between her legs to work its magic against her damp, swollen flesh.

“Inside me,” she gasped out. “Ethan, please.”

She was desperate for that connection. For them to be joined in the most intimate way two people could be joined. She wanted to feel his big body hovered protectively over hers. To feel him driving in and out as she stretched to accommodate him.

Her eyes closed as he rotated over her, his leg moving aggressively over hers as he prepared to mount her.

Oh but she loved how small and delicate she felt underneath his solidly muscled body. The body of a warrior. Lean and hard. No spare flesh anywhere. There was power in his every movement. It was why he always took such care with her. It would be so easy to hurt her with his strength.

“I want you with me,” he said in a hoarse, needy voice.

She slid her hands up his arms to his broad shoulders where she let her fingernails dig in, marking him.

“I’m always with you, Ethan,” she said softly.

He closed his eyes and groaned as he positioned himself at her opening. She could see the strain in his jaw. Knew how hard he was working to hold himself back.

Then he pushed inward, sliding into her, stretching her and forcing her to accommodate his width.

She sighed and melted back against the mattress. The sensation of fitting so snugly around him was blissful. There was no part of her that was untouched by his possession.

He flexed himself upward to push her legs higher. It forced her to take all of him, angled so he could slide all the way. His hips met the backs of her legs then pressed firmer still as he pushed even harder.

She was on fire. She fidgeted restlessly as he withdrew and thrust deeply again. And then again.

His mouth came down hot and wet against her shoulder and worked its way up to her neck. Breathless, scorching, open-mouthed kisses. His tongue worked over her earlobe, and then his teeth grazed the sensitive skin underneath.

She shuddered uncontrollably as her orgasm swelled, flashing like a sky full of fireworks. Wave after wave of pleasure rippled through her body, faster and faster, tighter and tighter, until it all released in one huge tumultuous burst.

Wrapping her arms around him, she held him close, absorbing his taste, his smell, the feel of him so deep inside her. His steady heartbeat against hers. The warmth of his body as it covered hers.

“I love you,” she whispered against his skin. “This is our time. Our beginning. You, me, and our children.”

He shuddered against her, her words seeming to drive him over the edge. He plunged deep and then went rigid atop her as his body shook and heaved.

He gathered her into his arms, molding her against him as he pulsed within her.

“I love you too, baby,” he whispered back. “Always. You’re mine. Always mine. I’ll never let you go again.”

She smiled, hugging him that much harder. No matter what the future held for them, she knew they would face it together. She’d never have to be alone again.

Chapter 9

Rachel ate her lunch in her classroom, hoping that Jennifer would show for her retake. Glancing at the clock, she was ready to concede defeat when the door cracked open and Jennifer peeked in.

Rachel smiled broadly and motioned her inside.

“Am I too late?” Jennifer asked.

“Of course not. You have plenty of time, and I want you to not rush through it.”

Rachel picked up the paper and held it out for Jennifer to take. Jennifer smiled shyly, took the test, and then went to sit in the first row of desks.

Rachel watched from underneath her eyelashes while pretending to grade other papers. Jennifer’s brow was creased in concentration, and she nibbled at the eraser on the pencil as she carefully read through the questions.

Holding back a smile of triumph, Rachel did a mental fist pump.

When the bell rang signaling the end of lunch, Jennifer stood, a satisfied smile on her face.

“I finished,” she announced. “And I think I got them all right.”

“Very good,” Rachel said proudly. “I knew you could do it.”

“Thank you, Ms. Kelly. For giving me another shot at it. I won’t let it happen again.”

“See that you don’t,” Rachel said crisply. But she softened the statement with a genuine smile. “Go ahead and take your seat. The others will be coming in soon. Do you need a bathroom break before the next class begins?”

Jennifer shook her head. “No ma’am. I’m fine, thank you.”

The kids began to noisily file in, the roar from the hall invading the classroom as well.

Rachel stood to clean the blackboard from the previous class so she could begin anew for this period. After wiping it down and drawing up her outline, she turned and was startled to see a man standing in the back of the room.

“Sir, you can’t be in here,” she said.

He had no visitor’s badge. She’d received no call from the office to suggest a parent was arriving. Alarm bells immediately went off, and she reached underneath the desk for the panic button that had been installed the year prior.

Maybe she was jumping the gun, and maybe she was being stupid and overreacting. But when it came to the safety of her kids, she didn’t really give a damn if it turned out to be a false alarm.

The silent alarm would immediately send the school into lockdown. The local police would be notified and would converge on the campus with astonishing speed. Everyone took the safety in schools seriously here. And, well, everywhere. School shootings had become so commonplace that no leeway was given, and police were swift to stamp out any threat.

The students swung around to see whom she was addressing. Jennifer went pale.

“Dad! What are you doing here?” she hissed.

But her father didn’t look at her. He didn’t even acknowledge her. Rachel’s heart plummeted when he lifted his hand to reveal the pistol he carried. Her instincts hadn’t been wrong.

“Everyone get down!” Rachel yelled. “Under your desks!”

There was a series of screams and desks scraping across the floor as the students scrambled for cover.

“Everyone be still!” Jennifer’s father roared.

He waved the gun precariously, and Rachel’s heart nearly stopped for fear the gun would discharge and one of the children would be caught in the crossfire.

Only Jennifer remained where she was. She was terrified, completely pale, and staring at her father in utter disbelief.

“Dad, what are you doing?” Jennifer asked in a shaky voice. “Why are you here? Where did you get that gun? You’re scaring me!”

For a moment, the man’s face softened as he looked at his daughter, and then his expression hardened, and he waved the gun in Rachel’s direction.

“Everything will be just fine once she makes a call for me,” he muttered.

In the distance, sirens could be heard, and Jennifer’s father froze. Then he rushed to the window to peer out and let out a string of obscenities.

Sobs rose from several of the children, but most huddled under their desks too petrified to make a sound.

“What did you do?” he raged at Rachel. “Did you call them? How did they know so fast?”

“Someone must have seen you through the window,” Rachel said calmly. “You’ve had your eyes on me the entire time. I’ve made no phone calls.”

He glared suspiciously at her and then waved the gun in her direction.

“Close the blinds. Do it now!”

Rachel hurried to do as he asked, her heart stuttering like a jackhammer in her chest.

“Daddy, don’t hurt her,” Jennifer pleaded. “She’s nice. Please don’t hurt anyone. Let’s just go home, please .”

“Your mother won’t allow that,” he snarled. “She’s issued a restraining order. Stupid bitch is refusing to allow me to see you. Says she’s going to get full custody in the divorce. That ain’t going to happen. I aim to make sure of that.”

“Sir, please listen to your daughter,” Rachel said in a soft, appeasing tone. “You’ll never be able to see her if you’re locked in a jail cell, and if someone gets hurt today, you’ll go away for a very long time.”

Her words seemed to further infuriate him. He advanced as though he’d strike her, but Jennifer flung herself in front of Rachel, spreading out her arms in an effort to protect Rachel.

Rachel hugged Jennifer to her and then thrust her behind her back. “Stay there, honey,” she whispered. “Don’t move. Just stay quiet and let me talk to him.”

Jennifer let out a whimper but did as Rachel said.

“What’s your name?” Rachel asked in an easy tone, almost as if they were exchanging ordinary conversation or that he was a parent who’d come in for a conference.

He looked befuddled and answered automatically. “Kent. Kent Winstead.”

“Mr. Winstead, you have an extremely bright daughter. She excels in all her classes. I’m sure you’re very proud of her.”

He seemed confused by the change in direction of the conversation.

“Well of course I’m proud of her. Inherited my brains. Her mother is as dumb as a brick.”

Behind her, Jennifer let out a pained gasp, and Rachel’s heart ached all the more for her.

“Work with me on a solution to this,” Rachel said calmly. “Tell me what it is you want so I can help you. The children are frightened. Your daughter is terrified. I’m sure the very last thing you want is to scare the students.”

He looked torn as he surveyed the kids all huddled under their desks, many of them with tear-ravaged faces.

“I don’t want to scare them,” he muttered. “But I have to do what I have to do.”

“And what is it you plan to do?” she asked.

His brows furrowed as if he hadn’t considered exactly what his plan was, but then it was likely he had no clear plan. He’d acted in desperation, and now he’d ruined any chance he ever had of being with his daughter. Not that she’d tell him that now. It would send him right over the edge.

“I want you to call the police,” he said firmly.

She nodded. “I can do that. Will you allow me to reach for my cell phone? I assure you I’m not armed. They don’t allow weapons in the school.”

He raised the gun, pointing it at her, and then he nodded. “Get the phone but don’t call anyone yet. I need to tell you what to say. Don’t try anything stupid. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I will if you make me.”

“We both want the same thing, Mr. Winstead. I assure you that you have my full cooperation.”

She reached slowly for her purse, making sure he could see inside the entire time as she retrieved her cell phone. She pulled it out and simply held it so it was in clear view, and then she looked expectantly at him.

“What would you like me to tell the police?”

He rubbed his chin with his free hand, all the while holding steady aim at her. It struck fear in her heart the way his hand shook. He was running on adrenaline, and one wrong move could mean her death. The deaths of her precious babies.

She swallowed hard, refusing to give in to the rising panic. She’d withstood the very worst and survived. She would survive this. Her babies were counting on her. Ethan was counting on her. She wouldn’t put him through the hell of her dying all over again.

“Please lower the gun,” she said, allowing her voice to shake. “I can’t think when I’m terrified that you’re going to shoot me. Just lower the gun. I’ll do whatever you want.”

He was wracked by clear indecision. Jennifer started to move, but Rachel put her hand out, pulling her closer to her back to shield her.

Finally he lowered the gun, but he still kept it away from his body. He trained it on the far wall and then settled his hard stare on her.

“You tell them that I want that restraining order lifted and that I want to be able to have access to my daughter. I want that bitch of my wife up here so she can see how serious I am. If she’s not here quickly, I start shooting.”

Rachel hastily punched her contacts button and hurriedly scrolled to Sean’s number, praying he was on duty. She was taking a huge risk in not dialing 911, but she trusted Sean, and he’d let Ethan and his brothers know the situation.

When it started dialing, she put the phone to her ear and kept eye contact with Jennifer’s father so she could be prepared for any sudden mood swing or movement on his part.

“Rachel, fancy hearing from you. How are you, girl?”

Sean’s cheerful voice immediately calmed some of her stark terror.

“This is Rachel Kelly,” she began as if she didn’t know Sean and as though she were calling a regular dispatcher. “Kent Winstead is here in my classroom with a gun, and he has some demands. If his demands aren’t met, he said he’ll start shooting the children.”

More terrified sobs rose from the children crouched under their desks.

Sean was immediately all business. “Simple yes or no, Rachel, are you on speaker phone?”

“No.”

“Okay. I’m going to patch this in to the local and state police. Do you know if any police are already on scene?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, stay with me here. Tell me what his demands are. Let’s keep him appeased. We’ll get you out of this, sweetheart.”

Kent was already growing impatient, and a scowl had darkened his features. His grip on the gun tightened, so she hastily relayed the demands he’d given her. Kent relaxed some when she began to list all he’d asked for.

“I’m being patched in to the person in charge on scene,” Sean said. “I’ve relayed everything you’ve just told me. I need you to keep him talking. Throw him a bone and ask him for his wife’s number so we can call her.”

Rachel let the phone slide slightly from her mouth as she looked at Kent. “They need your wife’s number so they can call her. They’ll do it now.”

“That’s good. That’s real fucking good,” Kent said, nodding his head adamantly. “Let the bitch know what she’s done. She’ll come crawling back, but I don’t want her sorry ass anymore.”

“The number,” Rachel prompted softly.

As he recited the number, Rachel relayed it to Sean.

“Okay, stall for me, sweetheart. Try to keep him calm. A S.W.A.T. team is getting into position even as we speak. My dispatcher has called Sam and has apprised him of the situation. Let him know we’re calling his wife now.”

“They’re calling right now,” Rachel said to Kent.

He nodded his satisfaction, and then he stared toward the windows with a frown. As if deciding he was putting himself at a huge risk, he crossed the room and positioned himself in a corner where there was no clear shot through the window. He wedged himself between two bookcases but kept the gun trained in Rachel’s direction.

“Daddy, please don’t do this,” Jennifer pleaded. “I don’t want you to have to go away. They’ll put you in jail, and I’ll never see you again.”

Rachel squeezed Jennifer, hoping she got the message to remain quiet. Reminding Kent of the huge mistake he’d made would only heighten his agitation, and it could make him do a very stupid thing.

Desperate people did desperate things.

Kent’s expression hardened. “I’m not going anywhere except home with you. It’s your stupid mother who’s going away.”

Jennifer began to quietly sob and buried her face in Rachel’s back.

“What’s taking so long?” Kent demanded. “What are they doing? You need to let them know that if I even think they’re jacking me around, I’ll start shooting. If they don’t think I mean it, just try me.”

Without warning, he pointed the gun upward and shot.

The room exploded and reverberated with the retort. Plaster flew everywhere. Screams rose and utter panic ensued.

“Rachel! Rachel! Goddamn it, Rachel, are you there? Talk to me. Are you all right? Give me the situation.”

Rachel had immediately squatted, covering Jennifer’s body with her own. They huddled together beside the desk, and Rachel put out her hand to try to calm the other children.

“Stay where you are,” she whispered urgently. “Don’t move. And be quiet. Don’t say a word. Don’t do anything to draw attention to yourself.”

“Rachel!” Sean roared.

She put the phone back to her ear. “I’m h-here.”

“Are you all right?” he demanded. “What the hell just happened?”

“It was just a warning,” Rachel stammered out. “He wants to know what’s going on and why it’s taking so long.”

“Damn right,” Kent snarled. “You tell those bastards they better not screw around and piss me off.”

“Hurry, Sean,” she whispered. “He’s very unstable.”

“Tell him we have his wife on the phone and that she’s agreed to drive right over. It’ll take her at least twenty minutes.”

When she relayed the information to Kent, his lip curled.

“I know damn well it only takes fifteen to get here, and she better be here in that time.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Rachel said faintly. “He’ll give her fifteen.”

“Get off the phone,” Kent snapped. “You’ve been on there long enough. You told him what I wanted. Now we’ll see if they deliver.”

Wordlessly she ended the call, not wanting to risk angering him by saying anything further. By now, Sean would have a very good idea of the threat they were dealing with. She just had to pray that the police would be able to bring about a peaceful end to the standoff and that none of the students would be hurt in the process.

Chapter 10

Ethan, Donovan, Sam, and Garrett stood watching the newly formed team comprised of Nathan, Joe, Swanny, Skylar, and Edge as they went through their drills at the firing range.

Skylar and Joe were the two standouts and were the most probable candidates for the sharpshooters on the team. Edge was a big son of a bitch, and while he shot well, his specialty was obviously going to be in hand-to- hand. He was a former MMA fighter and brute force was his strong point. Hell, he just looked like a mean bastard. But he also had history in the military, and he was disciplined and had intense focus. A very solid addition to KGI.

Sam went for his phone, looked at the LCD, and then lifted it to his ear.

“Hey, Sean, what’s cooking? You getting fat and lazy over there in your cushy office?”

Sam’s expression went from teasing to complete business in two seconds flat.

“Oh shit. Give me the rundown.”

Ethan, Donovan, and Garrett immediately forgot all about what the others were doing and turned their full attention to Sam.

“Son of a bitch!” Sam swore. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me! Is she okay? What the hell’s going on? Do you have S.W.A.T. on scene?”

A prickle of unease snaked down Ethan’s spine. It had to be family-related for Sean to call and for Sam to be so flustered. And most of the family was accounted for. Except for Rachel. But Rachel was teaching. Surely it had nothing to do with her.

Then Sam glanced over at Ethan, his expression grim, and Ethan’s stomach bottomed out.

“Rachel,” he mouthed.

Ethan forgot to breathe. He crowded in close to Sam, straining to hear everything Sean had to say. He only got bits and pieces because Sam had the damn phone glued to his ear, but what he heard chilled him to the bone.

Gunman holding Rachel’s class hostage. Extremely volatile. Threatening to start shooting if his demands weren’t met. A fifteen-minute timeline. Holy fuck. It would take at least twenty for them to get to the school, and that was hauling ass and breaking land speed records.

Ethan whirled on Donovan. “Van, can you get the chopper in the air that quickly? We could make it in ten minutes if we haul ass.”

Sam hung up the phone, but he was already running toward the newly constructed helipad.

“Get the others. I want every man we’ve got on this,” Sam yelled.

Nathan and Joe and the rest of their team scrambled up without hesitation and fell in behind the others as they ran for the helicopter.

Donovan hopped into the cockpit and began flipping switches to get the engines started.

“What the fuck is going on?” Garrett demanded.

The others were crammed into the chopper and were leaning forward to hear what Sam had to say.

“Some crazy mother fucker, a parent of one of Rachel’s students, is having domestic issues. His wife issued a restraining order and is pursuing sole custody in the divorce proceedings. Husband went batshit crazy and went to his kid’s classroom waving a gun around, and now he’s threatening to start shooting if his demands aren’t met.”

“And what are his demands?” Ethan bit out.

“He wants the restraining order rescinded.” Sam snorted. “Fat chance of that happening. He wants custody of his daughter. Yeah, like that’s going to go over well. And he wants his wife up at the school in fifteen minutes, which can’t be good. Even if he doesn’t go off his rocker and start shooting kids, you know he’ll end up killing her.”

“Did Sean say if Rachel was okay?” Ethan asked, fear nearly choking him.

“She’s scared out of her mind, but Sean says she’s doing a very good job of keeping the guy calm. She’s cooperating fully, trying to keep him appeased. She called him instead of 911.”

“That’s our girl,” Garrett said, pride in his voice. “She’s smart and she’s a fighter. My money is on her.”

Ethan rubbed his forehead tiredly. He’d never been so damn scared in his life. “You guys don’t understand.”

Nathan eyed him sharply. “What don’t we understand?”

Ethan sucked in a deep breath. “She’s…pregnant. We’re having twins. We just found out. This kind of stress can’t be good even if she doesn’t get herself shot.”

The others looked dumbstruck.

“I’d congratulate you,” Sam said grimly, “but right now I’d prefer to get her out in one piece so we can celebrate like hell later.”

Ethan nodded his agreement. “I can’t lose her. I can’t lose them ,” he said with quiet desperation.

Oh God, he’d already gotten luckier than any one person could ever hope for by having her miraculously restored to him after he’d thought she was dead for an entire year. Was he doomed to lose her to fate after all?

Garrett put his hand on Ethan’s shoulder. “You aren’t going to lose her. We’ll go in and kick some ass. Fuck what the local police say. We’ll take out this asshole, and then everyone can go home to their parents, and Rachel can come home with us.”

Ethan bumped knuckles with Garrett and muttered a hooyah. Garrett rolled his eyes. “Only because this involves Rachel will I let you get away with that Navy bullshit.”

The helicopter touched down just off the school premises, and Sam was already on the phone with Sean, who was on scene.

“We’re coming in,” Sam said in a hard voice. “You make damn sure no one gives us any grief.”

Ethan’s heart was in his throat. Flashbacks of his time with Rachel since her return played over and over in his head.

The memory of those two fuzzy blobs on the monitor that pulsated, signaling life, and the look of incredible joy on Rachel’s face as they realized what those two blobs meant was rich in his mind.

He couldn’t lose Rachel or their babies. He’d fought too damn hard to get his life back. He wasn’t going to let it all slip away now.

They ran onto the paved parking lot of the middle school exactly eighteen minutes after Sean had first placed his call.

“Sitrep!” Sam barked. “Where are we on his timeline?”

Sean looked relieved to see Sam but gestured toward the chief of police and the sheriff. Sean wasn’t senior on the scene even if he was the point of contact.

“I bought us a few extra minutes by telling him his wife was almost here. She is here but she’s scared shitless, and she’s going to freak out if we put her on the phone with him,” Sean said.

“What about Rachel?” Ethan demanded.

“She’s doing okay,” Sean said quietly. “Scared, but she’s calm, and she’s protecting those kids fiercely.”

Ethan’s pulse hammered up until it was pounding in his head. In a moment of selfishness, he didn’t want Rachel to stand in harm’s way for those kids, but he also knew it was exactly what she would do. He felt pride and insane fear at the same time.

The chief of police, the sheriff, a lieutenant from the state troopers, and the S.W.A.T. commander converged on Sam, and the tone of conversation grew tense and heated. Ethan tried to focus on what was being said, what the plan of action was, but his gaze drifted beyond to the school building, and he imagined Rachel and all those kids inside, terrified, fearing death.

How must Rachel feel to face death again so soon? After being granted their fondest wish. The blessing of not one but two precious babies. He knew how nervous and scared she was to miscarry, how much she didn’t want to get her hopes up.

Even if she managed to escape this situation with her life, would the stress cause her to lose their babies?

His gaze carried over the cordoned-off area to where the rest of the students had been bussed and even now were still being boarded to be driven away. There was a crowd of media and hysterical parents being held at bay by an entire line of police officers.

It was chaos.

Nothing like this had ever happened in their small town. Everyone believed it couldn’t happen here. They were untouchable. Still innocent of all the bad things that could happen in the world around them.

Today, reality had come.

It was a reality Ethan and his brothers and their teammates were well acquainted with. They dealt with situations like this all the time.

Most missions weren’t personal, though, although Sam would argue that all were, just some more personal than others. But most involved people that hired them. Or people wanted by the government.

This involved his wife. The woman he loved with every breath. Their two unborn children. New to Ethan, but already so very loved and cherished.

He felt a bond to those tiny lives nestled in Rachel’s womb. He was a father. Sworn to protect his family.

He turned to Sam.

“Get us the schematics on the building. We can go in through the air ducts. If we’re quiet, he’ll never even know we’re there. He knows the police and S.W.A.T. and every law enforcement officer in a hundred-mile radius is here or is enroute. But he won’t expect us. We move in, take a closer look at what we’re dealing with, and then we go in and neutralize the target.”

“You don’t make the decisions here!” the chief of police puffed.

Ethan got up in the man’s face before Garrett could make a grab for him.

“That’s my wife in there,” he snarled. “This is what we do. This is who we are. I’m not going to put her life in someone else’s hands. My brothers and I will go in. No one else.”

“Do you have any idea what kind of publicity nightmare this would be?” the sheriff demanded. “I have every bit of respect for KGI, but the liability is huge here. You fuck this up, and we go on record as letting some off-the-books special ops group with no jurisdiction or authority go in instead of S.W.A.T. or the local police and get a child killed. I’m sorry, Ethan, but I can’t let you do this.”

“Sir, he’s calling again,” Sean cut in. “We’re not going to be able to put him off for long. We have to act. Now.”

Several rounds of curses splintered the air.

Sean picked up the phone, and Ethan looked desperately at his brothers.

“Your plan is a good one,” Sam said in a low voice. “We could access the ducts in the gym. It’s not far from Rachel’s class from the diagram they’ve drawn, but it’s not so close he’ll know anything’s up.”

“Mr. Winstead, please, just calm down for just a minute. We’re doing everything we can to get your wife here just like you wanted. I’ve even personally called the judge who issued the restraining order.”

Ethan listened as Sean’s voice grew more unsettled. He couldn’t hear what the other guy was saying, but judging by Sean’s increasing agitation, it couldn’t be good.

The distant sound of a gunshot and then screams, from across the parking lot, over the phone and the assembled crowd echoed harshly through the air.

Sean went pale, and then he started redialing.

“He hung up,” Sean ground out. “I’m trying to get him or Rachel back now. Goddamn it!”

Sam grasped the chief of police’s shirt, his fists balled into tight knots as he got into the other man’s face.

“We’re going in. Arrest us later. I don’t give a fuck. But we’re going in to take this guy down.”

Chapter 11

Rachel cowered against her desk, clutching Jennifer to her side. Glass had shattered everywhere. The idiot had aimed at the window. Had his aim been off even a little, he could have easily shot one of the children. As it was, there was a good possibility he could have hit someone outside the school.

“Mr. Winstead, please,” she pleaded. “Please listen to me. I understand how upset you are. I would hate the possibility of being separated from my child, but this isn’t going to help your case any. You have to listen to me before it’s too late.”

“Stand up so I can see you,” he barked. “And leave my daughter down. You tell her to stay down.”

“Stay down,” she whispered fiercely to Jennifer. “You have to do as he says. Don’t do or say anything to upset him. You stay down and out of the way so you don’t get hurt.”

After Jennifer nodded, her eyes wild and huge against her face, Rachel slowly rose, her breath escaping in tight squeezes from her chest.

She faced the gunman, praying she had the courage to withstand whatever was to come.

“What do you know about what I’m feeling?” he demanded belligerently. “Do you have kids? Jennifer said you didn’t have none.”

The cell phone began to ring again. It had already gone through two series of rings before kicking to voicemail. The ring tone was loud in the small room and sounded abrasive.

He scowled and motioned toward it with his gun. “Turn the damn thing off. Don’t turn it back on until I tell you. Understand?”

She hastily complied, holding it up so he could see the blank screen. He nodded for her to put it back on the desk, and then he pursed his lips.

“Answer my question. You got kids?”

“Not yet,” Rachel said softly. Praying she wasn’t making a huge mistake, she said, “But I’m pregnant. With twins. I only found out this week. My husband and I have been wanting a family for a very long time.”

For a moment, the gunman’s expression softened, and then, as if reminding himself of his purpose, he raised his gun again and waved it menacingly.

“You’re lying. Trying to get in my head!”

Rachel shook her head but didn’t try to argue with him. His emotions were already all over the board.

“You get on the phone, and you tell the cops that I’m going to start shooting kids if they don’t start taking me seriously. I’m tired of being jerked around.”

Sobs rose. One of the girls started screaming, a high-pitched, shrill, hysterical scream that sounded raw and terrifying. It sent chills up Rachel’s spine, and the gunman swung in the child’s direction.

“Shut up! Quit the screaming!”

Jennifer burst from beside the desk and ran to the screaming girl. She faced her father defiantly, her eyes blazing in anger.

“Stop it, Daddy! She’s my friend. She’s scared. I’m scared. Why are you doing this? I just want to go home. We all want to go home.”

Jennifer’s father looked torn. Clear indecision tracked over his face, and the gun lowered a fraction. He stared back at Rachel as if he had no idea what to do. Rachel began to realize that he regretted his desperate act but saw no way out now. He was trapped in a nightmare of his own making.

Thinking quickly, she stepped forward to focus his attention back on her and away from the girls.

“Mr. Winstead, I have an idea,” she said quietly.

He seized on it immediately. “What? Tell me.”

“Let me call the police back and tell them that you’re going to let the children go.”

His face darkened. “Are you crazy? And lose my bargaining power?”

Rachel adamantly shook her head. “Hear me out. We’ll call it an act of good faith. It will show them you can be reasonable. I’ll tell them you’re letting the children go because you don’t want them harmed. You can keep me as your hostage. I’m pregnant with twins, Mr. Winstead. I’m your perfect hostage. They won’t want to screw this up. The media will be all over it. A pregnant woman as a hostage will be a news sensation.”

He looked befuddled. “That won’t work. Will never work.”

“You’ll still have a hostage,” Rachel gently pointed out. “But you’ll make them realize that you don’t intend to harm the children. Right now they’re likely thinking that the only way to rescue the hostages is to force their way in and kill you.”

It was another huge gamble for her to make him feel threatened, but she knew he was afraid and nervous, and she hoped that knowing he could very well die would make him more willing to make that first move.

“Jennifer stays,” the gunman said resolutely. “I won’t turn her over to her mother. Stupid bitch would take Jennifer and run. She wouldn’t care about you or anyone else. She only ever thinks of herself.”

Rachel met Jennifer’s gaze, and to Rachel’s surprise, Jennifer nodded.

“I’ll stay,” she said in a quiet, tense tone. Her voice trembled the slightestbit, but she notched her chin up and then fixed her stare on her father. “If you’ll let the rest go, I’ll stay here with Ms. Kelly and you.”

Rachel watched him, holding her breath, every part of her body held in anticipation of this huge victory. The children stared anxiously, their expressions hopeful. The entire room went silent.

The gunman thought a moment longer and finally turned back to Rachel.

“Do it. Pick up the phone and call them. Tell them I’ll let the kids go, but if they don’t deliver what I expect, I’ll kill you.”

Rachel’s hand shook as she reached for the cell phone. The wait for it to turn back on and find a signal was interminable. Finally the indicator flashed on, and she punched Sean’s number from the list of recent calls.

“Rachel?” Sean demanded as soon as the phone rang. “Tell me what’s going on. Are you all right?”

“I’m okay,” Rachel said calmly. “Listen to me. This is very important. Mr. Winstead is going to let the children go.”

“What? How the hell did you get him to agree to that? What’s going on, Rachel?”

“He’s going to keep me as his hostage, and his daughter is remaining with him as well.”

She was careful not to piss Jennifer’s father off by suggesting that Jennifer, too, was a hostage. Even if that’s exactly what she was. In his own twisted way, he cared a great deal for his daughter, and if that love was called into question, who knew how he’d react? At this point, Rachel was doing nothing to jeopardize the release of her students. She just wanted it done as quickly as possible.

“Oh hell no, Rachel. You can’t stay there with him. Tell him you have to come out too.”

“I’m his hostage, and he’s releasing all of the students,” she said, stressing the fact that all of the children were being released. “In return, for this act of good faith, he wants his demands met immediately upon the release of the kids. If his demands aren’t met, he’ll kill me.”

Sean swore softly. “I don’t know how the hell you got him to do this, sweetheart, but we’ll take it. Tell him it’s a done deal. I’ll get some damn document from the judge and have him sign it. The wife is here, but we’ve kept a lid on her because it’s likely he’s going to kill her the minute he lays eyes on her.”

Rachel agreed but she remained silent. She wanted to ask Sean what was being done, but she couldn’t.

“Ethan’s here,” Sean said in barely a whisper. “Hang in there, honey. They’ll get you out.”

Bolstered by the news that Ethan and his brothers were on the scene, she lowered the phone and looked at Mr. Winstead.

“They’ve agreed to give you signed legal documents from the judge who issued the restraining order, and your wife is here now. Let the children go, and then they’ll talk to you again to make the arrangements.”

Once more she held her breath. He paused for what seemed like an eternity as he grappled with the decision. He glanced at his daughter and then back to Rachel. He leveled the gun at her once more, his hand much steadier, almost as if the longer this went on, the more comfortable he got with holding a weapon.

He dipped the barrel toward the door and then back at Rachel. “Get them to the door. Single file. Line them up. I’ll open the door and let them out. When the last one’s out, the door closes, and you and Jennifer stay with me.”

Then he motioned for Jennifer to go stand by Rachel.

Rachel hastily nodded her agreement. “Let me line them up but I’ll stay back. I promise. I can do it from the back of the room. Can I call to let the police know the children are on their way out so that no one gets hurt?”

Grudgingly, the gunman nodded, and Rachel turned her attention on her terrified students.

“Listen to me, boys and girls. I want you to line up single file. No pushing. I need you to remain calm. Line up quickly. Once you leave the door, go straight to the bus ramp exit. Someone will be waiting for you and tell you where to go from there. Do you understand?”

There was a mad scramble as desks were shoved out of the way and children sprung up to hastily form a line.

Rachel picked up the phone and hit Sean’s number.

“Talk to me, Rachel. What’s going on?” Sean asked.

“They’re coming out,” she said calmly. She nodded in Mr. Winstead’s direction.

He pointed the gun squarely at her as he opened the door. She leaned her hip into the desk, positioning herself between Jennifer and her father.

“Go now,” she told the children while she kept the line open. “Someone will be waiting at the bus ramp exit.”

“You got it,” Sean said. “We’ll have officers there to guide them out safely. You’re amazing, Rachel. Sit tight, sweetheart.”

Rachel hung up so she wouldn’t anger the gunman and watched the last of the children hurry from the classroom.

When the last child was through the door, Mr. Winstead firmly shut it and then turned back to Rachel.

The ceiling above them exploded, plaster pelting down over their heads. Men dropped down onto the floor, forming a barrier between her and the gunman.

The gunman’s expression turned from initial shock and befuddlement to one of fury as he realized what was happening.

“You fucking bitch! You lied!”

He raised the gun, and in that instant, Ethan took a step sideways, maneuvering himself in front of Rachel, and took the bullet right to the chest.

Chapter 12

“No!” Rachel screamed.

Sam and Garrett both dove for the gunman, taking him down hard. Jennifer screamed and tried to run to her father, but Joe swept her into his arms and turned, holding her so she wouldn’t see what was going on.

Rachel dropped to the floor, sobs welling from her throat in ragged, raw bursts. She covered Ethan with her own body, screaming for him to wake up, to be all right.

She wiped her hands frantically over his body, searching for the source of the blood she knew would be covering him. But her hands came away clean.

The scuffle went on around her. Jennifer’s sobbing rose with Rachel’s own. And then there was a gentle touch on her shoulder as Donovan moved in beside her.

“Rachel, honey, it’s okay. It’s all right. I promise.”

“No,” she sobbed. “He shot Ethan. Oh my God, he shot Ethan. Help him, Van. Please. Don’t let him die.” She pushed at Ethan again. “Please don’t die, Ethan,” she begged.

Please don’t die.

The cry welled from her very soul. Ethan let out a low groan, and relief blew wild and hot through her veins, making her light-headed in the process.

The door flew open, and the police poured in. There were exclamations, demands for answers, information. It all blurred into one insane litany. She didn’t care what else happened. She only wanted Ethan to live.

“Rachel, sweetheart. Listen to me,” Donovan said calmly. “He was wearing a vest. He took the bullet in the chest. He’ll be okay.”

She stared uncomprehendingly at Donovan, her eyes and mind blank. Then she gazed down in bewilderment at Ethan, whose eyelids fluttered open at that precise moment.

“A vest?” she echoed.

Donovan cut Ethan’s shirt open and pushed the remnants aside. His hands slid down the face of the Kevlar vest, and then he pointed at the bullet lodged in the middle.

“See?” he said to Rachel. “Vest did its job. He’s going to be bruised, and he’ll be sore as hell for a few days, but he’s fine.”

She threw her arms around Donovan’s neck and clung fiercely as her sobs poured out in one relieved, forceful rush.

“Oh God, I was so scared,” she whispered.

Donovan hugged her back, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down her spine.

“You were fierce,” Donovan said. “I’m so damn proud of you, Rachel. We were in the ducts planning to drop in, and then we heard you negotiate for the release of the children, so we waited until they were out of the room.”

“Mr. Winstead?” she asked fearfully as she still clutched at Donovan.

She didn’t want to turn around. Didn’t want to see what had happened.

“And Jennifer?”

“They’re taking the father away now, and Joe has Jennifer,” Donovan said in a low voice.

She sagged against Donovan, but then the sweetest sound she’d ever heard rose from her husband.

“Rachel?”

She pulled away from Donovan and pressed her body down over Ethan’s so her face was level with his.

“Are you all right?” she demanded. “Do you hurt anywhere?”

“I don’t give a fuck about me,” he said gruffly. “I want to know how you and our babies are.”

Her heart filled with so much love that she thought she might burst from it. Relief had weakened her until she bobbled and nearly toppled over on top of him.

Donovan gripped her shoulders, giving her much-needed support as she hung there over Ethan. She stared down at him, tears making her vision all shimmery.

“Me and the babies are fine,” she whispered. “Especially now that I know you’re going to be okay. Don’t ever scare me like that again, Ethan. God, I thought you’d been shot. I didn’t know you had a vest on. I thought I’d lost you.”

“Never going to let you go again,” he muttered. “Stuck with me, baby. You and our babies.”

Two teams of paramedics rushed in and went to Ethan and Rachel separately. When she realized their intention, she turned pleading eyes on Donovan.

“Don’t let them do this. I don’t want to be separated from Ethan. He needs to be checked out, but I’m fine. I’m not hurt.”

Donovan cupped her face. “Do this for us, okay? We’re all frantic with worry over how all this stress and the huge scare has affected you. Just let them take you in, run a few tests. You’ll be home before you know it. But if you don’t go, then Ethan’s going to get all surly, and he’ll refuse treatment because he’ll be worried about you. We need to be sure he didn’t break any ribs.”

“I don’t want to go alone,” she confessed.

“I’ll go with you, sweet pea,” Garrett said as he joined Donovan by Ethan’s side.

“Go with him,” Ethan prompted. “Garrett will watch out for you while I get checked over. My brothers aren’t going to rest until we’re both given a clean bill of health. It’s better to just go with it so we can get it over with quickly.”

“He’s learning,” Donovan said with a grin.

“Joe and Nathan are taking Jennifer out to be reunited with her mom right now,” Garrett said in a low voice.

“Can one of you carry her out into the hall?” one of the paramedics asked. “We can only get one stretcher in here and we’re going to load up her husband first.”

“Not a problem,” Donovan said. He rose and scooped her up in her arms.

Rachel clung to Donovan’s neck as he carried her into the hall and eased her down onto a stretcher. As he arranged the sheet over her, she glanced earnestly up at him.

“Don’t let anyone break the news that I’m pregnant,” she said. “This isn’t the way I want Frank and Marlene to find out.”

Donovan smiled and brushed a kiss over her forehead. “Don’t worry. Our lips are sealed. But congratulations, little mama. I’m so damn proud for you and Ethan.”

His smile was gentle, and there was a wealth of emotion in his eyes. “You’ve come a long way, Rachel Kelly. I never doubted you for a minute.”

“Damn straight,” Garrett said in a gruff voice as he came to stand beside the stretcher.

He reached down to squeeze Rachel’s hand. “I’ve called Sarah and the others. I didn’t want them freaking out and worrying when they heard what was going on. They’re on their way to the hospital, so be prepared for the whole damn family to be there. Sophie was gathering the troops. They’ll probably beat you there.”

Rachel smiled and squeezed Garrett’s hand back. She loved this big, messy, noisy family with all her heart and soul. She wouldn’t change a single thing about them.

Of course, she worried every single time the guys went out on a mission. There was the reasonable fear that one or more wouldn’t return. She could lose Ethan after fighting so hard to get back to him.

But they were the best of men. They had a strong sense of family and justice. It didn’t surprise her at all that they’d been the ones to drop down from the ceiling and to end the standoff. She would have been more surprised if they hadn’t been involved.

Ethan’s brothers crowded around her stretcher, all demanding to know if she was all right.

“I’m fine,” she stressed. “Just shaken up. Please make sure Ethan is all right. He’s the one who was shot.”

“He’s a tough bastard,” Sam said with a chuckle. “Though he did give me a damn heart attack when he stepped in front of that bullet.”

Rachel shuddered and felt the blood drain from her face.

Nathan stroked his hand over her head. “Don’t worry about Ethan. They’ll load you both up and get you to the hospital. If I know the grumpy bastard, he’ll raise so much hell that they won’t be able to wait to get rid of him. He’ll probably show up in your exam room and be done before you are.”

Rachel glanced anxiously over at Ethan, who was predictably protesting the need to go to the hospital at all. Then he seemed to have lost her in the crowd of people crammed into the room and hallway, and he let out a bellow of displeasure.

Sam glanced up as a grim-faced older man stalked toward him. He let his hand briefly touch Rachel’s shoulder.

“I’ll see you at the hospital. There are things here I need to take care of. Garrett will ride with you and stay until Ethan is cleared.”

“Is everything okay, Sam?” she asked in alarm.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “Nothing that won’t work itself out. I have to smooth some ruffled feathers, and then I have to call my wife. She’s been blowing up my phone, and she’s not very happy with me because I didn’t tell her the entire story. I’m sure she’ll be waiting at the hospital to light into me.”

Rachel grinned, relief so sweet in her blood that she was intoxicated. Her family would be waiting at the hospital. Her sisters by marriage. Ethan’s brothers would all be there soon. Frank and Marlene would rush in and take over.

She closed her eyes and leaned back on the stretcher, emotionally exhausted by the stress of the morning.

As soon as her stretcher was pushed into the bright wash of sunshine, the world dissolved into chaos. The media was shouting questions. Parents were demanding answers. People asked if she was alive.

She opened her eyes just to answer that particular question, but she remained quiet, the buzz of questions swimming in her ears until she wanted to cover them to shut out the cacophony.

She and Ethan were loaded onto waiting ambulances, and she stared through the open back doors at the sea of police, media, and general public. It looked as if half of Tennessee was gathered on the middle school parking lot.

Then the medic attending her climbed into the back and shut the doors, obscuring her view. The ambulance pulled away, leaving the flashing lights and mob of people behind as it headed toward the hospital.

“You okay?” Garrett asked. “Sarah’s texting me wanting to be sure I’m taking good care of you. If she gets it in her head I’m falling down on the job, she’ll kick my ass.”

Rachel laughed and put her hand out for the phone. Garrett relinquished it with a grin, and Rachel quickly sent a text to Sarah telling her she was fine and then affixed her name to the bottom of the text.

Barely seconds later, the text came back from Sarah. Just two words.

Thank God.

“I’m so lucky to have all of you,” Rachel whispered.

Garrett gave her an indulgent smile and then ruffled her hair affectionately. “We’ve been friends a long time, sweet pea. I think it’s safe to say that we’re lucky as hell to still have you. Ethan knows it too. He may be stubborn as hell, but he’s not dumb.”

Rachel closed her eyes, no longer able to keep her head up. It was plenty warm in the ambulance, but a chill had settled bone deep, and she shook from head to toe.

She heard Garrett’s worried demand to the medic and the medic’s reassurance that it was just shock. A warm blanket slid over her body and was tucked around her neck. Garrett’s hand curled around hers, gripping it tightly.

Now that she allowed herself to think of all that had happened that morning, she was ready to completely lose her cool. She could have died. One of the children could have gotten hurt or killed.

Ethan could have died.

It was more than she could hold up under any longer.

Chapter 13

“I don’t need goddamn x-rays!” Ethan roared. “What I need is to see my wife!”

Donovan put his arm out to push Ethan back onto the bed. “Look, if I go check in on her and get a report from Garrett, will you shut the hell up and get the damn x-ray? You’re making things worse by raising so much hell. If you’d just let them do the x-ray, you’d be done and out of here, and you could go be with Rachel.”

Ethan pushed up from the bed, holding his chest where the bullet had bruised his ribs through the vest.

“Just give me a damn shirt and not one of those fucking hospital gowns either,” he said in a testy voice.

He wasn’t in the mood to play nice. The very last thing he cared about was whether he’d cracked a rib. It was obvious that he hadn’t broken one or done serious damage. If the x-ray showed minor fractures of his ribs, what the hell could they do about it anyway? All they’d do is tell him to take it easy and give him something for pain.

The best thing they could do to ease his pain was to let him get to Rachel.

Donovan sighed in exasperation and then tossed him a T-shirt from his pack.

“Get your dumb ass dressed while I find out where they put Rachel. Swear to God, if you so much as move before I get back, I’ll hold you down while they sedate you. You can’t go barging through the E.R. scaring the shit out of the other patients.”

“Then hurry the hell up,” Ethan snapped.

He yanked on the T-shirt, wincing when his knuckles brushed over the tender spot on his midsection. Not that he’d admit it in a million years, but he hurt like a son of a bitch. Taking a bullet close range, even with the vest on, wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

A bruise the size of a softball had already formed.

But that’s all it was. A bruise. Hell if he was going to be sidelined over a damn bruise. He’d endured worse, and nothing was going to keep him from Rachel.

He was getting fidgety when Donovan finally walked back into the tiny cubicle. He lunged up from where he had been leaning against the bed and confronted his brother.

“So where is she? And is she all right?”

Donovan held up his hands. “Garrett’s with her, and Ma just got here. The wives are in the waiting room, and Dad’s on his way to see you right now. Just settle down. Let Dad see that you’re okay, and then we can all go down and see Rachel. The E.R. is a madhouse, and they’ve had to position police officers to keep the media out. Getting home is going to be interesting.”

Ethan sighed and leaned back against the bed again. He was going to go out of his mind if he didn’t get to Rachel soon, but he also didn’t want his Dad worried about him. The last thing Frank Kelly needed was more stress. He’d already had one heart attack, and Ethan wasn’t going to be responsible for giving him another.

The door burst open, and his dad barreled through it. As soon as his gaze lighted on Ethan, his entire body sagged in relief.

“See, I told you, Dad. He’s fine and cranky as ever,” Donovan said.

Frank Kelly didn’t respond. He hauled Ethan into his beefy embrace and damn near squeezed the life from Ethan. Ethan winced but held on to his Dad.

“I’m fine, Dad,” Ethan said in a low voice. “It’s Rachel I’m worried about.”

His Dad held him for another long moment and then pulled away, his eyes suspiciously bright.

“Your mother and my daughters-in-laware checking in on her now,” Frank said gruffly.

“I’m heading down there. Was just waiting on you once I heard you were here,” Ethan said.

Frank frowned. “They’re already finished with you?”

Ethan cleared his throat, and to his relief, Donovan came to his rescue.

“Told you nothing was wrong with the ornery bastard. He’s too much like Garrett. He’s worried about Rachel though. It would calm him down if he could just see her, so let’s move down there so he can put his mind at ease.”

Ethan shot Donovan a grateful look.

“You scared me, son,” Frank said gruffly. “I swear you boys are always getting up to something. You’re going to make an old man out of me yet.”

Ethan grinned. “Nah. Just keeping you on your toes.” He slapped his dad on the back. “Come on. Let’s go see, Rachel.”

* * *

It was hard to keep her pregnancy secret when the medical personnel were ensuring that all was still well with her pregnancy. Garrett stayed off to the side and out of the way, but then Marlene Kelly arrived, and hell no was anyone keeping her from her baby.

Disregarding medical staff objections, Marlene pushed her way to the bedside, sat down, and gathered Rachel into her arms, hugging her so tightly that Rachel felt smothered.

It was the very best kind of smothering.

“You scared the wits out of us all,” Marlene said even as she held Rachel closer to her. “I’ve never been so scared in my life, baby. It was all over the news, and then I saw you being carried away on a stretcher, and I made poor Frank break every speed limit getting here.”

“I’m fine, Marlene,” Rachel said, a smile in her voice.

She pried herself away and leaned back, taking in Marlene’s anxious gaze.

“Ethan’s the one who was hurt,” Rachel said, the smile fading. “He was shot. He had a vest on, but it still hurt him. I wish someone would let me know how he is.”

“He’s fine,” Garrett said from the corner. “Van just came down a second ago. They’re coming in just a few minutes.”

Marlene shook her head as she stared helplessly at Garrett. “I can’t even fuss at my boys for getting into trouble because they got you out, but I swear they put more gray hairs on my head with every passing day. And now that Nathan and Joe are back home and joined up with the rest of their brothers, I’ll never sleep another night through.”

Garrett stepped forward and squeezed his mother’s shoulders. “Now, Ma. You worry too much. You know we look out for each other. And we look out for this family. No way we were going to leave things with Rachel to chance with the local police. No telling how they would have f—uh, screwed it up,” he amended hastily.

“Can we come in?”

Rachel glanced up to see Sophie peeking inside the doorway. Just behind her were Shea and Sarah. Rachel smiled and motioned them inside. Her sisters-in-law hurried in and quickly enfolded her in big hugs.

“Oh God, we were so scared,” Sophie said as she stood back with the others. “How is Ethan? We heard he was shot!”

Garrett had looped his arm around Sarah, pulling her into his side, and he was quick to alleviate the worry in the women’s eyes.

“He’s fine. He was wearing a vest. He’ll be down in just a minute.”

“Thank God,” Shea breathed.

Shea stared anxiously at Rachel, her eyes brimming with worry. Rachel gave her a reassuring nod so she’d know that all was well with the pregnancy.

The door flew open, and suddenly Ethan was at her bedside, his intense gaze burning over her. Everyone hastily moved so Ethan could have access to Rachel, and then Rachel was in his arms, firm against his chest.

She closed her eyes and clung fiercely to him. “Thank God you’re okay,” she whispered. “I was so worried, Ethan. Please don’t ever scare me like that again. I’ll never forget hearing the gunshot and seeing you go down. I’ll never get that out of my head.”

“Shhh, baby,” he soothed. “That’s why we wear vests. I was never in any danger. You, however, had no such protection, and that asshole would have gunned you down in cold blood.”

“Take me home,” she begged. “I just want to get out of here and be in our home where it’s quiet.”

He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead as she lay nestled in his arms.

“I’ll get you home soon. I promise.”

She pulled away to see that Marlene and the others had backed discreetly toward the doorway where Donovan and Frank were standing.

“They don’t know,” she whispered. “This isn’t the way I want to tell them. I want to go home, and then I want to tell them properly, when the family is together and all the worry and stress is gone.”

“Is everything okay with you?” he whispered back. “The babies?”

The fear in his eyes made her stomach knot and she hastened to ease his worry.

“I’m fine. Just reaction. They gave me a shot to help calm me down, and I’m okay now. I just want to go home.”

He flashed a rueful smile. “I can’t even argue with you because I was bound and determined to get the hell out of that room I was in too. I understand how you feel.”

She pulled him down even closer so she could whisper without being overheard.

“Tell them I’ll make a follow up appointment with my obstetrician in a couple of days and make sure everything’s okay, but I want to leave now.”

He pressed his lips to her forehead and left them there a long moment.

“I’m so proud of you I could burst,” he murmured. “You kicked ass today, Rachel. Even if you scared the shit out of me in the process. Those kids owe their lives to you.”

She shook her head and frowned.

He smiled and gently nudged her cheek with his knuckle. “Yeah, they do. Now, let me go see what I can do about springing you. It’s going to be tricky to get you out of here without the media swarming.”

She made a face and shuddered. “Can’t Van land the helicopter here?”

Ethan glanced over at his brother, his expression one of surprise. “Van? I hadn’t even thought of that. What do you say? Can we give Rachel the KGI VIP treatment and land the helicopter up top and get her home that way?”

Donovan cracked a grin. “For Rachel, hell yeah. Give me half an hour, and I’ll be back. Then I’ll need to go make sure Sam hasn’t gotten his ass arrested.”

Chapter 14

It was quiet, and the room was darkened, with only a lamp burning by the bed when Rachel entered the bedroom from the bathroom.

Ethan was sprawled on the bed, shirtless but still wearing his fatigues. Even his boots were still on, and he looked too tired to take them off.

Her heart softened as she stared at his closed eyes, and then her gaze drifted down his lean, muscled chest to the bruise that darkened his already tan skin.

He’d been so worried for her, but in fact, she hadn’t come close to injury. Certainly not as close as he’d come. That he’d been so willing to put himself between her and their children and harm’s way told her more than words how much he loved her.

She went to where his feet hung off the bed, and she took one boot to prop it on her thigh while she unlaced it. Ethan came awake immediately and lifted his foot free of her grasp.

“Don’t baby, I’ll get them. Crawl into bed and get comfortable.”

She shook her head and pulled his foot back. “Just lie still and let me get your boots off. You’re exhausted. It’s been a tough day for both of us, but I’m not the one who got shot.”

He put his hands behind his head, watching as she wrestled with one boot and then transferred her attention to the other.

His lips parted hesitantly, as if he grappled with what to say and how to say it. There was torment in his eyes, and deep shadows lurked, making his gaze appear haunted.

There was an ache to his words that touched the deepest part of her soul.

“From the minute I knew what was going on, I kept wondering if this was where it would all be taken back. I guess some part of me has lived in fear that I was living on borrowed time and that people just don’t get handed what I’ve been given without having to give it back at some point.”

Her heart throbbed at the vulnerability in his voice. She tossed aside the boot and then crawled onto the bed, her hands smoothing up his chest until she got to his shoulders.

Her mouth hovered just over his, her dark hair falling like a curtain onto his skin.

“I hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me,” she teased, hoping to lighten the darkness in his eyes. “You can’t get rid of me that easily. I think I’ve proved that already.”

He wrapped his arm around her waist and anchored her firmly against him. “I don’t want to ever lose you, baby. You’re my life. The babies are my life. Our family means everything to me, and I’ll always fight to keep you safe and happy.”

She kissed him then. Warm and melting, their lips fused together.

“You make me so very happy,” she whispered. “I can finally sleep at night without fear that I’ll wake up in hell or that I dreamed you coming for me. I can see past today and get a glimpse of our future when our children are older and we have a lifetime of loving behind us.”

He ran his fingers through her hair, toying with the strands in a tender gesture.

“Do you want me to quit KGI?” he asked in a serious tone.

She blinked in surprise. Then she studied the earnestness in his expression and sighed.

“I never wanted you to quit your SEAL team. That was your decision. What I want is for you to be happy, and working with your brothers makes you happy. I can see it in your eyes when you come home from work. We’re older and wiser now, Ethan. We’re stronger than we were when you were in the Navy. I have a solid support system when you’re away on a mission.”

“I just want you to know that nothing is more important than you and our children. And I mean that. If it would make you happy, I’d walk away from KGI tomorrow and have no regrets.”

“But it wouldn’t make you happy, and if you aren’t happy, I certainly won’t be happy,” she said.

He kissed her again, and she molded her body to his. She reached down, sliding her hand between them until she cupped him intimately, stroking him through his pants.

He groaned. “God, woman. I’m cut to my knees, weak with relief that you’re alive and well, and you’re acting the temptress, like you didn’t almost get yourself killed today.”

She smiled against his lips as she kissed him again, and then she drew away, propping her elbow on his upper chest, above where he’d been bruised.

But then she sobered as she took in the worry in his eyes. She touched his face, tracing the hard lines and then smoothing a finger over his lips.

“I made peace with death a long time ago. I’m not saying I want to die, but I don’t  fear it anymore. There were days that I wasn’t strong during captivity, and I actually hoped for death. That they’d grow tired of keeping me on a leash and would give me an overdose and that I’d slip away.”

Tears glittered in Ethan’s eyes, and his jaw hardened. His entire body was tense. She knew it was difficult for him to hear, but she didn’t hold anything back. She was honest if nothing else.

“I think it’s why I could be relatively calm and not lose it today. One, I didn’t want those kids to get hurt. And two, after everything I’ve endured, I’ve come to the conclusion that when God is ready for me to go, I’ll go, and not a minute before.”

“I’m just grateful he wasn’t ready for you and that you’re back home with me where you belong,” he said, his voice husky with emotion.

She adjusted her body so she could turn and unfasten the fly of his pants. He lifted his hips upward and helped her push them down over his thighs. She got to her knees to finish removing the rest of his clothing until he was fully naked beneath her roving hands.

Tonight she was going to make love to him. So many times he’d been the one to handle her so gently. Always offering her reassurance. Telling her with more than words that he loved her and would always be here.

She wanted to be that person for him tonight. To show him that she loved him every bit as much. That she valued the sacrifices he’d made and was willing to make for her and their children.

Easing from the bed, she took only long enough to slip from the gown she’d put on after her shower, and then she crawled back onto the bed and positioned herself between his muscled thighs.

She leaned forward, pressing her mouth to his taut abdomen. Not a spare inch of flesh could she find. Gently she pressed tiny kisses to the bruise that marred his flesh, and then she moved lower again, teasing a trail down to the apex of his legs.

He sucked in all his breath when she licked from the base of his cock to the very tip. It twitched and bobbed underneath her lips, allowing her to suck the head inside her mouth.

In a warm, moist glide, she took him all the way in and then slowly released him, inch by agonizing inch, exerting firm suction the entire time.

He stirred restlessly, fidgeting, unable to remain still as she stroked up and down, squeezing him with her mouth.

His hands twisted in her hair, holding her then pulling her to meet his thrusts. It was as if he had no control over his movements and he was frantic for more.

Already, she knew exactly what she wanted. How she wanted to make love to him. She teased and toyed with him until she tasted the first spill of pre-cum on her tongue. Then she slowed her movements and let him slide down from his impending release.

When his breathing slowed, she shifted upward again until she straddled him, arched up as she carefully fit him to her opening.

His big hands closed over her hips, offering his help as she angled over him. But he let her do as she wanted, never forcing the action.

Closing her eyes, she sank slowly down, taking him deeply inside her until she came to rest over his groin.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Ethan said, his voice full of awe. “The most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life. This is the way I want to remember you. Naked and lush, astride me, my dick so deep inside you. Your head thrown back and all that gorgeous hair flowing over your shoulders.”

He slid his hands from her hips up to her breasts, cupping the small mounds and rubbing his thumbs over the peaks.

She fidgeted and then leaned forward into his grasp, savoring the feel of his hands on her breasts. She braced her palms against his arms and eased upward, allowing him to slide out of her.

Then she let herself down again, engulfing him until they both let out soft moans of appreciation.

“I want you with me, baby,” Ethan whispered. “Together. Let’s go together. Tell me what you need.”

She sighed again. “Touch me. I’m so close.”

He moved one hand between them, sliding a finger through the curls covering her mound to the sensitive nub of flesh sheltered in her slick folds. As soon as he stroked her, she tightened all over, which caused him to grow even more rigid inside her.

Needing more, she picked up the pace and began a steady rhythm that caused the most exquisite friction she’d ever experienced. He was so tight within her.

His free hand curved over her ass, and then his fingers dug into her flesh as she rode him.

“Come baby,” he gasped out. “Get there.”

He didn’t have long to wait. Her body tightened into a taut coil, and then she snapped, suddenly releasing all the pent-up tension in one explosive burst.

Her soft cry was lost in his roar as his own orgasm flashed over him. She went warm and slick, the snugness eased by his release. Euphoric satisfaction wafted through her veins, infusing her with a drugged, hazy sensation.

She settled over Ethan, allowing her body to blanket his. He wrapped his arms around her so she was surrounded by him. Completely content, she snuggled more firmly into his embrace and let out a long sigh.

Life had taught her that nothing worthwhile came easy, but everything was all the more sweet for the sacrifices made.

“I love you,” she said against his skin.

“I love you too, baby,” he said, his voice fierce and possessive. “Sleep now while I hold you. I just need some time to hold you and remind myself that you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry to have scared you.”

He slid his hands warmly over her back. “I know, baby. I know.”

Chapter 15

Rachel had never been so grateful to live behind the gates of the compound. She was extremely thankful for the timing and that she and Ethan had moved from their old house before the incident at the school because the media had camped out in their old neighborhood ever since she’d been released from the hospital.

It was a complete zoo in the small town where Frank’s hardware store was, and he’d had to close it down after only one hour in operation the day he reopened after the gunman’s arrest.

Once again, Rachel found herself in the media spotlight, only this time she hadn’t returned from the dead. She’d merely flirted with death once again.

The only article she’d glanced at had mentioned that she had nine lives. Maybe it was true, but she wasn’t going to waste time dwelling on all the ways she’d cheated death.

For the past few days, she and Ethan had sequestered themselves in their new home. Marlene and Rachel’s sisters-in-law had taken turns bringing them home-cooked meals, and so Ethan and Rachel had remained indoors, soaking up the fact that they’d survived a close call and Rachel was suffering no illeffects from the scare.

“Baby, Ma just called,” Ethan said as he ambled into the living room.

Rachel had kept the television off ever since they’d gotten home because they couldn’t flip through the channels without coming across a mention of the near-shooting.

The police had made multiple trips to the compound because Ethan refused to take her out where they’d be mobbed by media.

She’d told her version of the incident so many times her ears were numb from listening to herself.

“Oh?” Rachel asked, turning her attention from the book she’d been reading.

“She informed me that they’ve given us enough alone time to recover and that they’re converging tonight for the housewarming party they’d already planned.”

Rachel froze, sure she had a deer-in-the-headlights look. “Tonight?” She glanced around the living room in horror. Nothing was clean. There were boxes everywhere.

Ethan held up his hands. “Don’t freak. Ma wouldn’t do that to you. I mean just come over when she knows we’ve been moving and stuff’s not clean. She’s rounding up the daughters-in-law and they’re coming over in an hour to clean and cook.

Rachel stared at him, utterly appalled. “And that’s supposed to make it better? I’m supposed to sit and watch them clean my house and cook for a party we’re having here tonight?”

“That’s precisely what you’re going to do,” Ethan said sternly. “I don’t want you overdoing it.”

Rachel sighed, and Ethan plopped down on the couch and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Everyone’s worried about you. They just want to do something to make you happy and to celebrate our move. I think they think you’re sad over leaving the old house.”

She pressed her lips together and puffed her cheeks out before allowing the air out in an audible pop.

“Does it still bother you that I’m not bothered by leaving?”

Slowly he shook his head. “Your reasons made sense. How can I fault you for being honest? And I want you to be happy. If having a new house in a safer location makes you feel content and secure then I’d have to be a complete asshole to begrudge you that.”

She turned into his chest and hugged him fiercely. “We’re going to make some great memories in this house, Ethan.”

He kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair. “Yeah, we are. Starting tonight.”

* * *

The house was alive with chatter, laughter, and the warm smiles that only came from being with family.

All of the Kellys were present and accounted for. Even Rusty and Sean, honorary members of the Kelly clan, were there.

Rusty had cornered Rachel as soon as she’d arrived, concerned for Rachel’s pregnancy. Rachel had assured her she was fine, but she hadn’t shared the fact she was having twins. She’d save that surprise for when they made the official announcement.

She knew Ethan’s brothers knew, but they were keeping it quiet, not wanting to ruin the big surprise.

It was as if the entire family had made a pact prior to arriving at Ethan and Rachel’s that no mention of the incident at the school would be made.

There was no conversation about the gunman, the media, or even KGI’s involvement in ending the stand-off.

Wanting her curiosity—and her fears—appeased, she cornered Sam while the others were piling food onto their plates.

“Did KGI get into trouble over the hostage situation?” she asked anxiously. “Ethan said they didn’t want you going in and that you did anyway.”

Sam smiled, a rueful glint in his eyes. “Let’s just say that we exchanged quite a few words. But because of the way it all went down and where the media was confined to, S.W.A.T. was already making a move in after the children were released, so they got the credit for taking Winstead down. Which is fine. It keeps KGI out of the picture. The chief wasn’t happy. The mayor was pretty pissed. The sheriff looked like he’d swallowed an egg. They were probably all shitting their pants, worried that we’d screw up and they’d take the fall.”

Rachel shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

He blinked. “What the hell do you have to be sorry for? Did you honestly think we’d sit on our asses while you were at the hands of some deranged ass hat?”

She grinned. “No, I’m sorry that people are so stupid. But I’m glad you didn’t get arrested or anything. It would suck to have to visit you in jail.”

His soft chuckle rose, and then he took her elbow and turned her toward the table where Marlene had set up the food buffet style.

“Let’s go get something to eat before my brothers devour it all.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice. She took a plate and piled it high with food. Truth was, she was starving, and she hadn’t felt queasy for two whole days. It was enough to make her want to take a chance and enjoy every single bite she had tonight.

As everyone ate and conversed, Ethan found his way closer to Rachel until the two were standing side by side. When she finished with her plate, he took it from her and set it aside before lacing his fingers through hers.

He gave her a look so filled with love that she could scarcely breathe. She was warmed to her toes by the contentment that rested so comfortably on him.

It was time. Everyone who mattered to them was here. In their new home, a place that would be the foundation of their future.

Ethan cleared his throat and then called for attention. Conversation hushed, and all eyes were directed at Ethan and Rachel. Butterflies—excited butterflies—danced around Rachel’s belly. A belly that would soon expand to accommodate the two tiny lives nestled there below her heart.

“Rachel and I have something we’d very much like to share with the people who mean the most to us.”

He glanced down at her, his brow raised in question as to whether he should tell or if she wanted to. She smiled and squeezed his hand before nodding that he should tell.

He took a deep breath, his smile growing so broad that his teeth flashed.

“After much thought and consideration, endless soul-searching, finally being at peace with the decision, and feeling that Rachel was ready for such a step, we decided to start trying for a baby.”

The smiles were instantaneous. Marlene leaned over, punched Frank on the arm, and whispered in a loud voice, “I told you!”

Rachel smiled and jittered in Ethan’s grasp. She was as giddy as a kid at Christmas. She loved the way Ethan was drawing it out for maximum effect. She wanted to savor this moment for as long as possible.

“What we didn’t count on was it happening so fast,” Ethan added with a grin.

Everyone went silent. Eyes were wide. Knowing smiles were on Ethan’s brothers’ faces. Shea smothered her own reaction, clenching her fingers into excited fists. She looked as though she’d start bouncing up and down on Nathan’s lap.

Frank’s brow furrowed. “Does that mean what I think it means?”

Ethan chuckled. “Yes, Dad. Rachel is pregnant.”

A chorus of whoops went up, and Ethan let it go for a minute, but when the family started to get up and swarm toward him and Rachel, he held up his hands.

“Just a minute. There’s something else you should know.”

Marlene’s mouth flapped open, and she stared between Rachel and Ethan as if trying to decide if it was good news or bad news. She stopped halfway over to where Ethan and Rachel stood, and Frank came to a halt beside her, sliding his arm around her.

Ethan glanced down at Rachel, love warm and alive in his gaze. He squeezed her to him, and in the background, Rachel could hear the soft sighs from those who stared at the two of them. But her focus was on Ethan and the promise in his eyes. The promise of a wonderful future so bright she could barely imagine it.

Then he looked back up at his family, his face about to crack under his enormous smile.

“We’re not just having one baby. Last week we learned that we’re having…twins.”

A series of gasps, exclamations, and sounds of complete surprise echoed across the room. Excited babble. Joy and enthusiasm danced tangibly in the air.

Marlene could no longer contain herself. She converged on Rachel, her hand waving excitedly in the air as squeals of excitement burst from her lips.

“Oh baby,” Marlene exclaimed as she pulled Rachel into her arms. “What wonderful, wonderful news. I’m so happy for you and Ethan.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said, returning her fierce hug.

“How frightened you must have been through all of this,” Marlene said, sympathy shining in her warm, brown eyes.

Frank pushed his way in and gathered Rachel into a huge hug, but he was extremely gentle, careful not to crush her. He kissed her cheek, and when he spoke, his voice was clogged with emotion.

“I couldn’t be prouder,” Frank said. “What a blessing two more grandchildren will be. You take good care of yourself, young lady. I’ll be watching.”

Rachel grinned. Oh but she was about to burst from the joy of it all. “I know you will.”

“This calls for a toast,” Sam called out, holding his glass high.

The room went silent again as the oldest Kelly son smiled in Rachel and Ethan’s direction.

“You’ve long been special to us all, Rachel,” he said.

Everyone was quick to agree, their smiles as bright as the sun. She basked in those smiles. At the love and acceptance that shined as brilliantly as a million stars.

“You’re also one hell of a kickass woman. I don’t know of many other people as resilient as you. And even after all you’ve endured, you’ve still remained the sweet and loving Rachel that we all fell in love with all those years ago.”

Tears burned her eyelids until she gave up trying to hold them at bay. Sam was so serious, giving her no doubt he meant every single word.

Donovan broke in, looking directly at Ethan.

“If your children—Rachel’s children—inherit even one half of their mother’s spirit and determination, then you’ll have yourself two children who’ll never be beaten down in life.”

“Hell, they’ll rule the damn world,” Garrett muttered.

Laughter swept through the room, relieving some of the solemnness.

“Thank you,” Rachel said, her voice as watery as her eyes were. “I’m so grateful for you all, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She looked directly at Marlene and Frank, her love for the older couple so powerful that it was hard to even put into words all she felt and all she hoped for.

“My hope for my children is that I can be the kind of parent that you are to your children and to the people you offer that unconditional love and support to.”

“I’ll second that,” Ethan said, wrapping his arm around Rachel.

Rachel looked around the room, at every single face. “My babies will be the luckiest children who ever lived to have such a wonderful family. I’ll never forget how much you’ve helped me overcome in the past few years.”

Sean cleared his throat. “Rachel, honey, just do me a favor, please? Given all that you and I have gone through together, when you go into labor, make sure I’m nowhere in the vicinity.”

The room burst into laughter, and Rachel laughed along with them. She closed her eyes, simply absorbing the vibration of so much joy.

She was no longer a victim of the past, held prisoner by the demons who haunted her mind. She was moving beyond that, into a future filled with the promise of brighter days and happier times.

She was a Kelly. And she was loved.

Content

Softly at Sunrise
KGI - 5.5
by
Maya Banks

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15