Hard To Love You

Love - 3

Megan Smith

If you love something. set it free.

If it comes back it's yours.

If it doesn't, it never was.

Richard Bach

Prologue

Spring Break,

Three Years Earlier...

No one wants to go home for spring break; and we’ve all waited too long to book flights to Cancun, so we’re doing the next best thing. Our best friend’s roommates are having a party tonight and have invited all of us to go. He says the locals stay around for it, like some kind of tradition. I don’t really give a shit where we go as long as it’s out of this god damn dorm room.

I finish my run and head upstairs for a quick shower. By the time I shut off the water I can already hear the thumping of the music. The medicine cabinet starts rattling and the toothbrush holder is about to fall off the sink.

“Come on, let’s go. The party is starting.” Someone bangs on the door.

I dress quickly and hang the towel around my shoulders, grab my basketball shorts, socks and running shoes from the floor and open the door. As I walk down the hallway I pass a few people already making out. Damn, they don’t waste any time. I open the door to the room I’m staying in and throw my dirty clothes and shoes in my bag.

I pick up the key that’s been left for me on the dresser and make sure to lock the door behind me. As I’m making my way downstairs, the front door swings open and two guys wearing football jerseys walk in with a keg on each of their shoulders. A few girls follow them. A blonde catches my attention, she looks a little young but her body is smoking hot. I follow her with my eyes as she moves after the guys into the kitchen.

Perfect. The kitchen is right where I’m heading. I fight my way through the crowd and hear someone calling my name.

“Finally, pretty boy. Took you fucking long enough.”

Before I can respond, I’m being introduced to one of the keg carrying guys.

“This is one of my boys from back home. Dude, this is Logan.”

I lift my head, acknowledging Logan.

“What’s up?” he says.

Someone clears their throat behind him. Logan turns his head toward the blonde and then back to us, “Sorry guys, this is my cousin, Brittany.”

Brittany bats her eyelashes at us. I skim my eyes over the entire length of her body and grin as Logan pours her a cup of beer.

“You go to school around here?” I pluck up the courage to ask.

Brittany’s friend stumbles over before she can respond and practically knocks her right over. I watch the whole show, she’s definitely drunk. Her eyes are glazed over in an inebriated haze. She starts giggling when her eyes connect with mine. “The pool table is free, let’s go.” The girl starts pulling Brittany anyway.

Managing to pull her arm free from her friend’s grasp, she asks, “You guys want to come play?”

My phone starts to ring before I can reply. I pull it from my pocket. Shit! I knew I should have called her before the party started.

I quickly excuse myself and move through the kitchen, slipping through the sliding glass door and sliding my finger across the screen to answer the call.

“Hey,”

“Hey, I thought you were coming home for break.” She clips out, more of an accusation than a question.

I sigh heavily into the phone, “No, plans changed, the guys didn’t want to.”

“Alright,” she says so quietly that I barely hear it.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are. Hope you have a nice break.” The line goes dead.

Fuck! I feel like a dick.

* * *

A few hours later and everybody at the party is three sheets to the wind. The fucking room is spinning. I’ve got some girl sitting on my lap and we’ve been making out for so long that I’ve lost track of where everyone is.

We finally come up for some air and she asks, “Where are your friends?”

I look around but can’t see shit. Everything is a damn blur. “I have no fucking idea. How about we finish this upstairs in my room?”

She looks around the room we’re in; the revelry is still going strong. These people know how to party. “Alright, but I have to find my friend first,” she says as she untangles herself from me.

I have to adjust myself before I can stand up with any sort of dignity. Some guy is lying on the floor, face down, I nudge him with my foot to see if he’s still alive; he groans and covers his head with his hands.

“Isn’t that your friend over there?” She points to where all my boys are sitting around the kitchen table.

“What’s your name again?” I ask as I scratch my head. I can’t remember shit.

She giggles and shakes her head, “Brittany. You’re really drunk aren’t you?”

I shake my head. Bad move, it feels like someone is pounding on it.

We walk over to the boys and I find an empty seat, I pull Brittany down on my lap and wrap my arms around her. We get dealt into a game of poker, which is a really stupid decision. I can’t pay attention to shit, especially not with her on my lap. I have to keep shifting her over when she lands in just that right spot.

“Babe, if you don’t stop moving that fine little ass of yours I’m gonna have to haul you upstairs.” I tell her.

She laughs.

About an hour or so later, Brittany stands. “I’m taking this guy up to bed.”

I arch my eyebrow at her. Bed my ass.

All the guys start laughing and then cough to cover it up when Brittany glares at them all.

Logan eyes his cousin, “You sure that’s a good idea?”

Brittany rolls her eyes, “Mind your fucking business.”

“Dude, you got condoms in your bag?” My roommate asks.

“Do I ever go anywhere without them?”

“True.”

Brittany grabs my arms and pulls me away. My friend yells, “Keep that shit on your bed.”

Everyone starts laughing as we walk away. We barely make it to my room before I’m inside her; our clothes were taken off in a fit of drunken lust on the way up here. I remember knocking something over but she’s all over me and I don’t care what it is. I finally manage to get to the bed with her before everything turns hazy.

* * *

I wake up to the sun shining in my eyes. I groan and roll over. “Fuck,” I croak out.

I look around; there’s a blonde girl lying beside me. I kind of remember her from last night but I have no clue what her name is.

I move the hair that’s covering her face, “Hey.”

She rolls over but doesn’t sit up. “Where the hell are we?”

I chuckle and then wince from the pounding in my head. “Fuck.”

“I don’t feel so well,” the girl says, and then a second later she starts puking.

My stomach rolls. I turn and walk away from her. It’s an asshole move but if I stay I’m going to puke too.

I throw on some shorts and go downstairs. There are a few guys sitting at the table. I go to the fridge and pull out a bottle of water. I twist the cap and start gulping it down when the girl from last night walks in looking like a hot mess.

She comes over and wraps her arms around my waist. “Last night was great.”

“Babe, it was just a piece of ass.” I say, releasing her arms from around me. I don’t do the whole cuddling shit the next morning, most of the time I’m already gone before dawn.

I sneak a glance at the girl; her mood has drastically changed in the last couple of seconds. She went from being all lovely, like we were going to start dating, to looking like she’d just been told that she was the worst lay ever. I shake my head and dismiss the girl like I do with the rest of them, just like yesterday’s trash.

1

My fault

- Mason -

Shit!

I hear her gasp before I even see her. I know it’s her, I can feel Hailey. I know this looks all kinds of wrong but I was trying to figure out what the fuck Lily was talking about. She cornered me when I went to take a piss, telling me she knew shit that would fuck up a few relationships in my family. I got pissed off and forced her into the alcove in the wall, trying to intimidate her into telling me what she knows.

I didn’t think it could be about Hunter, at least I hoped it wasn’t. He’s learned his lesson, I think. Lily didn’t have shit on me and even if she did it wouldn’t affect me or Hailey. Hailey and I have a strong relationship now. She trusts me. I know everything there is to know about Cooper, so there isn’t anything there. He’s been crawled up Jaylinn’s ass for the last few years. Jackson and Chloe have been inseparable since high school so I’m not even entertaining that shit.

“Mason!” MacKenzie yells as she slides past a stunned Hailey.

As Lily starts to turn around I see what she is about to do. She reaches up and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, smearing lipstick so it looks like we were hooking up. I have to hand it to Lily; she has balls, especially with my sister and Hailey standing right here. The stupid bitch just didn’t realize her mistake - I didn’t have lipstick smeared across my face. People would know she was lying.

“What the fuck, Mase?” MacKenzie seethes. She despises Lily and it’s showing in full force tonight.

One thing I’ve always tried to do is protect my family, and MacKenzie is always a top priority for me as she’s my baby sister. When all hell broke loose a few months back, and she found out about our dad, she refused to talk to any of us. When she finally started getting over the hurt she demanded that we trust her to be able to handle shit. We all agreed, I mean what choice did we really have? If she wants to deal with all the shit in the world then so be it. Now that MacKenzie knew everything, we all started to back off a bit. I backed off from being that overbearing, over-protective, big brother but I would never stop looking out for her. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now. She deserves to have her wedding with no drama.

“It’s not what it looks like.” I look past MacKenzie, to Hailey, who is still standing there frozen, “Hailey, Boo, it’s not. I was telling her to leave me alone. She’s been following me all night.” And that is my first lie. I have to lie about it until I can figure out what the hell Lily apparently has over us.

MacKenzie marches up to Lily and punches her straight in the face. Lily drops to the ground, covering her mouth. My little sister bends down and gets in her face, “That’s what you get for trying to kiss Hunter and messing with my family. It’s well overdue.”

MacKenzie turns to grab Hailey, who is still standing frozen in the doorway, and stomps away towing Hailey behind her.

Lily sits up and wipes the blood that drips from her lip. I look down at her in disgust. “You got what you deserved. You just had to go and make the situation worse didn’t you, Lily?” Shock registers across her face. She’s more stupid than I thought.

I clench and unclench my fist a few times; trying to calm myself down before I go after Hailey to fix this clusterfuck. Let’s just hope she lets me explain.

“I know Cooper slept with Brittany!” Lily screams as I start to walk away.

I freeze mid-step. “What?” I shake my head and turn around. “What the fuck are you talking about? Cooper would never sleep with that crazy bitch.” She has to be lying; there is no way Cooper would ever sleep with Brittany.

“It was spring break a few years ago.” She tries to stand up but stumbles back. She slips her heels off and then tries again to stand.

“Lily, you need to tell me right fucking now what the hell you’re talking about. Spring break? When? Where? And how the hell would you know this?” More importantly, how does she know Brittany?

A few girls walk into the bathroom and give us dirty looks. I’m sure that Lily sitting here with a busted lip doesn’t look good for me. “Slow down will ya? I just got punched in the face.” She tells me as she touches her lip again.

“I don’t have time to waste, especially not for you.” I seethe. My body is humming from the rage coursing through it. “Tell. Me. Now.”

“Alright, damn it. Three years ago you guys all went down to a house where Hunter was staying, apparently. There was some kind of huge party.” Cooper and I have been to a dozen house parties with Hunter. Nothing is registering. “Her cousin, Logan, brought her along.”

“Lily, you’re full of shit. I would have remembered Brittany from back then.” Brittany was one of those girls that you just don’t forget. She’s got long, golden-blonde hair, wide, innocent-looking eyes, and she’s model tall and carries herself well. She looks almost as beautiful as Jaylinn; except for the hair color and big tits. “And what’s in it for you to tell Cooper about this bullshit lie now?”

Lily stares down the hall for a minute; I’m sure trying to come up with a good reason. “I want Hunter.” She says, just above a whisper.

Fuck!

“I want what MacKenzie has.” Her eyes well up with tears.

“Lily, Hunter will never want you.” I want to say more but I don’t want to push it with her. I need more details about Cooper and Brittany.

“I know!” She yells at me. “But if he knows Cooper slept with his step-sister, who he hates, he’s not going to want MacKenzie! How could he ever want to have anything to do with any of you?” She’s hysterical now. She’s has a few screws loose if she thinks this will end things between them. There isn’t anything that could tear them apart now, after all the shit they’ve been dealt their bond has grown so strong.

“Lily,” I try to get her to focus on me.

“Why do you think Brittany went after Dominic, Mason?” She tries to take a deep breath but is having trouble. “Brittany wanted to pay Cooper back for hurting her. She saw her opportunity to do that through MacKenzie.”

There is no point in trying to get any more information out of Lily while she’s so upset. I need to get the hell out of here and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do with this information. If Cooper really did sleep with Brittany then it’s going to crush Jaylinn, even if it did happen years ago. But what’s done is done and the fact that he slept with Hunter and Jaylinn’s step-sister is in the past. It doesn’t mean they won’t be disgusted about it though, and MacKenzie is going to be pissed off that she’s been dragged into this whole mess just because her brother couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.

As I walk down the hallway to find my sister and Hailey, Cooper and Hunter come around the corner with murderous looks on their faces. Cooper and Hunter just stand there and stare me down, waiting for me to explain. The only problem is I can’t explain anything yet. As the three of us stand there, Hunter finally speaks up, “You fucked up, asshole, and you deserve what you have coming.” Hunter and I would normally have fought a couple of rounds now, but he’s changed since MacKenzie and Ryder. He’s wiser.

Ryder. My little baseball player in training. That’s what I want for Hailey and me, but I think I’ve really fucked it up now.

“Where’d they go?” I ask both Hunter and Cooper.

“Tell us what happened, Mason?” Hunter fumes.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” I answer back.

Cooper chimes in, “Does it matter where they went, Asshole?”

I glare, hard, “Of course it matters. Don’t be a dick, Coop. Where’d they go?”

Hunter shoves his hands in his pockets, “They left.”

“No shit, but whose house did they go to?”

Cooper and Hunter exchange a look. I stand up, reaching in my pocket for my keys, but Cooper yanks them from my hands. “You were drinking, Asshole, you’re not driving.”

“Then take me to find her, damn it!” I feel the panic rising. I feel like the longer I wait, the worse it is getting. I can’t let her think anything happened but I can’t ask her to keep another secret either. This time she would not only being keeping this secret from MacKenzie, but also Hunter, Jaylinn and Cooper. The last secret almost ended us. I can’t ask her to do that again.

Hunter nods his head towards his truck. We all get in. I sit in the back and lay down across the seats while Cooper takes shotgun. I royally fucked up, I know it.

We pull into Hunter’s driveway twenty minutes later. I sit up and look at the front door. Big mistake. MacKenzie is standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, shooting daggers at me.

Hunter chuckles. “Good luck man, I’m glad I’m not on the receiving end of that.”

I climb out of the truck and trudge up the walkway, leaping up the two steps to the porch where MacKenzie is standing and meeting her eyes. She thinks by giving me the eyes that she’ll frighten me.

She shoves me hard, “I can’t believe you, Mason. Lily? Of all the people. Really?”

I adjust my hat, “Where is she?”

MacKenzie glances behind her before answering me, “Lily’s at the bar, stupid.”

I roll my eyes at her failed attempted to make look stupid. “Kenzie, stop messing around, I need to talk to Hailey.”

“She’s not here,” she shoots back.

Hailey is there, I can see her reflection in the glass door that MacKenzie reluctantly holds open. “If you don’t move your ass out of the way I’ll move you myself.”

MacKenzie looks surprised. She looks over my shoulder to Cooper and Hunter, I guess waiting for them to come to her defense. I know they won’t though. They wouldn’t have brought me here if that were the case. She huffs and moves out of the way.

I step into the house and catch a glimpse of Hailey’s blonde hair turning down the hallway. I look around the family room; Chloe and Jackson are sitting on the couch, eating popcorn with their feet propped up on the coffee table, enjoying the show I’m sure. Jackson gives a head nod and Chloe half smiles at me. When I walk into the kitchen Hailey is slipping her heels on. Once she is finished she picks up a full shot glass that sits on the kitchen table and downs it. She winces. I’m sure it’s from the burn but I can’t help feeling responsible.

“Boo …” I call, using the nickname that I’ve had for her forever. I wait for her to turn around and look at me but she doesn’t.

I wait another few seconds before taking one more step towards her, her body stiffens. I stop and wait. “Baby …”

“Don’t baby me, Mason.” She says with fury in her voice.

I want to tell her the real reason I was with Lily but I can’t chance anyone else hearing. “It wasn’t what it looked like. Hailey, you have to believe me. Did you see any lipstick on me?”

“No, but I just don’t understand why you’re lying to me about it. You never lie to me.” Her voice cracks. She’s livid. “You tell me everything.”

“I’m not lying now.”

She huffs, “You are. You promised that you would never lie to me, Mason. I trusted you. I trusted you with my heart and you know how God damn hard that is for me to do.”

The knife digs deeper into my heart. I’m fucking up badly by not telling her, but I can’t. “I swear I’m not.”

She takes a deep breath, “Then tell me what happened.”

I take a step towards her, wanting to turn her around so she can look me in the eyes and know I’m not lying. “Don’t come any closer. I mean it. I will cut your balls off and shove them down your throat and I’m not even playing.”

I try not to laugh because now is really not the time, but that’s my feisty Hailey. “Can you turn around then? Please.”

She picks up the bottle of vodka, forgetting about the shot glass and guzzles it for as long as she can before setting it back on the table and turning around to face me. Her eyes are bloodshot, her face is all blotchy and her lips are red from crying, but she’s still beautiful. Her hair is a mess, I’m sure she’s been running her hands through it. I reach forward to tuck a stray strand behind her ear but she flinches and turns her head.

My shoulders sag in defeat, I did this to her. I turn her face so she’s looking at me again. “I didn’t kiss Lily, you know that I didn’t.” I don’t look away and I don’t blink.

She stares back at me, “Then why did you have her in that corner, Mase?”

I close my eyes, praying she trusts me. “I can’t tell you that just yet. Just trust me though, please. I’ve never let you down before, Hailey, and I’m not going to start now.”

She looks intently at me for so long I’m not sure what to think. I don’t look away though. I’m begging her with my eyes to understand.

After what feels like forever, but what’s probably only been minutes, she says, “And I can’t be with you until you tell me. I can’t go around thinking all these crazy thoughts in my head. You know I’ve got issues. I hate that unwanted, unloved feeling and that is exactly how I feel right now. We’ve kept enough secrets and I’m over it, Mase. I’m fucking done.” A lone tear runs down her cheek, I want to reach out and brush it away but I can’t. I’m dumbfounded by her words. We always fight, that’s us. There is no in-between; we’re either hot or cold.

I look her in the eyes one last time before I turn to leave and say the words that I will only ever say to her, “I love you, Hailey, only and always you.” I turn on my heel and leave her there.

2

What hurts the most

- Hailey -

I haven’t spoken to Mason in two weeks. I’m avoiding him like the plague. I know I’m not going to be able to keep that up with MacKenzie’s wedding looming over me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy for my best friend and Hunter; they deserve it after all the shit they’ve been through. I just wish Mason wasn’t part of it.

After we walked out of the bathroom at Kenzie’s bachelorette party and found Mason with Lily, I wanted to junk punch him. Much like what Kenzie did to Lily. I knew Mason had girls chasing after him all day, every day, with being a pitcher in the minor leagues, but I thought I actually meant something to him. Apparently I was wrong. Asshole! Kenzie has been checking in on me every day, I know she’s worried about me; my track record with boys isn’t exactly great.

A knock startles me from my thoughts; I stand up from my bed and go to see who it is. I figure it’s my mom checking on me before she leaves for work.

I open the door and I’m greeted with more stargazers; I sigh and grab the vase, placing them on my desk next to the others; they’ve been arriving every other day for the last two weeks. Every time they come they are different but every time they are beautiful. This time they came in a pink, square vase with an iridescent bow. All the flowers are pink except the center one, which stands out as an exquisite red rose. They are gorgeous, but now I kind of regret telling Mason what my favorite flowers are because he’s tainting them.

Mom sighs heavily. “Give the boy a break and at least talk to him before he goes broke, Hailey.”

I shake my head, “No. I’m not giving in and I hope he does go broke, serves him right.”

She chuckles and wraps me in her arms. “Love you, Baby. Hang in there.”

I squeeze her back, that’s all I can do, I don’t trust my voice.

After another few moments she gives me one last squeeze, “Well, I’m off to work. I’ll be home later tonight.

“Alright, see you in the morning.” I walk over to the flowers and pick the card out.

“Hailey?”

“Yeah Mom?”

“Get out of the house for a little while; it’ll do you some good. Go see that cute little Ryder that I know you love.” She smiles at me and then closes my door behind her.

I sit on my bed and curl my legs up to my chest. I play with the card in my hand for a while before I get the courage to open it and see what he’s come up with this time.

Hailey ~

Talk to me.

You owe it to yourself, to us, to me.

Always,

Mason

The tears start. I lie back against my pillows and grab for the pink bear that Mason won for me years ago. I cry for him every day. I want my Mason back, my hot headed, over the top Mason, or even my cold hearted one. I just want him. I know he loves me. I know deep down inside. But why? Why did he have Lily pushed up into that nook in the wall? Did he think he would never get caught? Maybe I was just fooling myself. Maybe he only liked me because I was always there. Not knowing what’s going on in his head is eating me alive. I know I’m going to have to talk to him but not until I’m strong enough. Mom is the only one who knows how much this is killing me. I’m not weak like my sister says I am; I’ll stand up for myself once I find myself again.

Eventually, I cry myself to sleep until my ringing phone wakes me into a sleepy fog.

I run my finger across the phone, answering it, “Hello?” Once the fog clears, I cringe; praying it isn’t Mason on the other end.

I hear sniffles, “Hello?” I say again.

“Hailey, I look like a whale in my dress. Where are you?” Kenzie whines into the phone.

I take a deep breath; my maid of honor duties are needed. “Kenz, you don’t look like a whale, Sweetie. Why do you have your dress on anyway?”

She takes a shuddering breath, “I’m at the bridal shop for my last fitting.”

Shit! I was supposed to go with her and I completely forgot because I’ve been living in my own head and not being the friend that I should be.

I leap off the bed and take a quick glimpse in the mirror. Crap, I look like hell. Eyes puffy and bloodshot, mascara running down my cheeks and my hair is a hot mess. “Kenz, give me fifteen minutes, I’ll be right there.”

“No. It’s ok; you’ve got a lot going on.” Her voice breaks.

“I’m coming. Love ya. See you in a few.”

Fifteen minutes later I’m pulling into the dress shop parking lot. I quickly grab my purse and make my way inside to talk my best friend off the ledge.

I walk up to the counter and ask where I can find her. Thankfully it’s a small shop and they know exactly who I’m talking about.

I approach the dressing room and I hear the sniffles again. I knock on the door, “Kenz?”

The door slowly opens and Kenzie pokes her head out. I smile and she frowns. She opens the door wider and I push my way in. I set my purse down on the bench but keep my sunglasses on. I didn’t need her pity. This is all about her. I turn and suck in a breath, my hand covers my mouth and the tears start again.

“See! I look like a whale, Hails. I can’t wear this dress.” She turns her back towards me, “Unzip me, I need out of this dress.”

I place both my hands on her shoulders, “Look at you MacKenzie, really look at you. You’re gorgeous, Sweetie; you look nothing like a whale. Nothing! I’m envious of you; you’ve got the man of your dreams, the cutest little chunky monkey and a beautiful home. This,” I point to the dress, “is just material. Hunter loves you for this.” I point to her heart. She starts crying again and I’m right there with her. “Hunter said to me the other night that he couldn’t believe he’s actually marrying you. You, MacKenzie, you’re each other’s everything.”

Kenzie slowly turns around and hugs the hell out of me. “You’re the best friend that every girl should have, Hails.”

We hold each other for a little while and cry a little longer. After I’ve gotten it all out, I decide we definitely need some laughter in our lives. My hands start slowly moving from her back, down to her sides to rest on her hips. “You know, I would kill for these. I’m sure Hunter loves that he has something to hold on to while you’re getting your freak on.”

That seems to do the trick because she starts laughing and soon she lets go and holds her stomach because she can’t stop. It’s a contagious laugh.

After we calm down, she smirks at me. “He does love them.” She says, just above a whisper, and starts blushing. You would think by now that she wouldn’t be this shy talking about sex.

I put my hands on my hips, “Now Kenz, why the hell are you blushing, girl? You can’t be that shy about sex. Christ, Hunter had you bent over his bike in the Goddamn garage! Did you forget I walked in on that hot shit?”

Now she turns bright red, God I loved her. I wish my own sister were just like her. Instead my sister is the world’s biggest bitch.

She covers her face with her hands, “I can’t believe you caught us like that and you didn’t even try to leave quietly.”

I shrug, “What? It was hot!”

She walks over, stands in front of me and reaches for my sunglasses. I quickly turn my head. She sighs and grabs my face with both her hands. She takes my glasses off and gasps. I look down at the floor, both hands go for my back pockets and I rock on my feet. I know what is coming next.

“Hailey.”

I don’t look up, I can’t.

She grabs my face again and gives me no choice. Looking into my eyes, she can see everything -the hurt, the pain, all of it. After a few moments she says, “You need to talk to him. Give him hell, Hailey! He deserves it, whether he did it or not. You need to let the feisty Hailey out.”

I look down to the floor again, begging for the tears to stay at bay. I will not cry over Mason Cahill, I chant to myself.

She waits, “I know, Kenz, I will. Let’s just get past the wedding and then I’ll figure things out. I don’t want you worrying over us.”

“Oh Hailey, I love you.” She hugs me. “You are your own worst enemy, you know that right?”

I nod. I will not cry over Mason Cahill, I chant again. “I know.”

“Help me out of this dress and let’s go back to my house and grab a drink. I think we can both use one.” She turns around, giving me access to her zipper.

“You look like a princess, Kenz. Hunter’s a lucky man.”

She winks at me in the mirror; I help her unzip and then hang the dress up. We leave the shop and make our way to her house. I need something to help steel my heart, at least for tonight anyway.

3

I'll never let you sleep alone

- Mason -

This being on the road shit sucks. The away games never used to bother me, but now that everything is screwed up, I hate it. I hate not being home, hate being away from Hailey, hate the drama and I hate myself. Baseball has always been a part of my life, it’s a constant, I’m good at it and I’m able to control it. It’s not just a hobby to me, it’s my career. Since losing Hailey I just can’t put my heart into the game. I know I look like a complete jackass to everyone; they’re all still pissed at me. Hell, I’m pissed at myself for even putting myself in such a screwed up situation. It seems that I always get burned while protecting my family. One damn day I’ll learn my lesson.

Hailey has to know I wouldn’t touch Lily. God knows Lily’s been around the block more times than I even care to think about. I shudder at the visions coming to mind. I can’t believe Coop, Hunter and I fucked that. What the hell were we thinking? Oh that’s right, we were thinking with the wrong head.

I’ve been sending Hailey her favorite flowers, stargazers, every other day for the last two weeks; I feel the need to keep sending them so she knows I still think of her all the damn time. I pray that deep down she knows I wouldn’t cheat on her. Hell, there are girls that hang around after the games and at the local bars, trying to sink their claws into one of us. Damn cleat chasers. After Hailey and I finally decided to try this relationship thing out last year, I’ve never even given them a second thought. Yeah I joke around and flirt to get the things that I want, but that is the extent of it. The guys on the team were having a fucking field day with that; they kept asking when I was going to get my balls back. My balls are exactly where I wanted them, back home with Hailey.

Hailey. Damn, what I wouldn’t do to have her wrapped in my arms right now. I’m living my dream right now; but Hailey should be here with me. I’d give all of this up for her. It was our turn to have our happily ever after, but I’m screwing up because I’m keeping a secret, a secret that shouldn’t even affect us. So she ran. I shouldn’t be surprised, she always does. That’s the reason she was always at my house growing up, she ran away from her dad. Her mom and dad were in the middle of a divorce back then and she hated all the fighting. For the last eight years, Hailey had snuck into my room every night and slept in my bed with me. No one knew, not even MacKenzie. Sometimes we talked about what that night’s fight was about and other times I just held her while she cried. The divorce screwed her up more than she’ll ever admit and her bitch of a sister blames her for causing it.

We just wrapped up a game and we’re sitting at some local bar in Boston. Cooper has bailed and said his ankle was bothering him and he was going to call it a night. He thinks I’m stupid, but I know he’s going back to call Jaylinn. We’ve been busy lately and we haven’t had much down time and it’s getting in my way of finding Lily and talking to her again.

Pat enters the bar and takes the seat to the left of me. Pat is our first baseman for the Bulldogs and he’s an instigator. I’m not in the mood for that shit tonight; I just want to get through the night so we can get our asses back home tomorrow.

“I see you’ve finally got your balls back, hmm?” He asks while taking a swig of his beer.

I roll my eyes, “I’ve always had my balls, Asshole.”

He laughs, “Is that so? Ever since you and that hot piece of ass got together a few years ago you stopped hanging out with us.”

This guy is your typical player. He has a wife and a kid back home, but every night while we are on the road he’s hooking up with someone else. Most of the guys do. They claim they are lonely and ‘what happens on the road, stays on the road’. No one ever got in anyone else’s business, it was just guy code.

“Yeah, I just got some stuff going on so I haven’t been in the mood to hang around and bullshit.” I answer. I am not about to spill my guts to this guy. Hell, none of my teammates other than Cooper, who thinks I kissed Lily, knows the reason behind my split with Hailey.

“I think that chick over there might be interested in helping you forget about your stuff you’ve got going on.” He lifts his chin to the girl sitting across the bar from us. I look up and there is indeed a cute girl sitting there with three of her friends. She doesn’t look like a cleat chaser. She has this innocent look about her and she looks uncomfortable, out of her element.

Maybe she’s my out for the night. I can act like I’m picking this girl up and bringing her back to my room; helping her out of whatever situation she’s in and helping myself, too.

I grab my beer off the bar and turn on the stool to make my way to her. Pat slaps me on the back and says, “There’s my boy.”

I laugh just to play along. As I walk up to the girl, her friends all walk away in the direction I just came. I take the seat next to her, “Hey,”

She blushes and I’ve only said two words.

“Hey,” She manages to say after she’s taken a sip of her drink.

“You look like you need some help.”

“Was it that obvious?” she asks. She is tearing a napkin into pieces, trying to keep her eyes off mine.

“Just a little. I’m Mason by the way, and you are?”

“Cammie. Nice to meet you, Mason.” She has a southern drawl.

Now that I take her in I see that she’s wearing a pair of cowboy boots with her white dress. “Let me guess, all your friends are trying to hook up with the guys from the team and you’re just not into it?”

“Yeah, I was brought in here kicking and screaming.” She replies while nervously laughing.

“I’m about to start kicking and screaming if I have to stay in here any longer. What do you say we get out of here? Make them think we’re leaving together?” I offer.

“I think that’s the best pick up line I’ve ever heard.” She laughs.

She finishes up her drink and we go say goodbye to her friends before we leave. I gain a few hoots and hollers from the boys on my way out. Now maybe this will get them off my back for a little while.

We step outside and I hail down a taxi. One pulls up to the curb and I open the door for Cammie. After she sits down, she looks up at me, “You can come hang out for a while if you’d like; just to talk.” She fidgets with the end of her dress. “I don’t see my friends coming back tonight.”

If I wasn’t so hung up on Hailey I would have hopped into that taxi and had my way with her all night, but I just can’t seem to do it. “Nah, I’m gonna head back to the hotel. We’re out of here first thing in the morning. Take care of yourself, Cammie.”

I reach into my pocket and hand the cabbie a few bills to make sure she gets back safe and sound. “Thanks Mason.”

I smile, shut the door and pat the roof twice before stepping back. I wait until I can’t see Cammie’s cab anymore and hail my own. I jump in and tell him what hotel I’m staying at. As we’re approaching I realize I have no fucking clue what room Coop and I are in. I send him a quick text before I pay the cabbie and make my way into the hotel. The front desk is closed for the night and I’m close to banging on all the doors at this point, just to find his ass but I don’t want to piss off the coach any more than I already have. I’ve been showing up hung over for practice and training since the split but it’s the only thing I can do to keep myself sane. My phone beeps just as I’m about to sit on the bench near the elevator. I swipe my finger over my phone, unlocking it. It’s Coop telling me he’s in room 517. I hit the up elevator button, step in and head up to the fifth floor.

I knock once and wait. No answer so I bang again, after a few minutes the door opens and Cooper is standing there wearing only a towel and his hair is wet.

“Thanks for taking a shower for me.” I laugh as I step around him into the room. He smacks me upside the head.

“What the fuck was that for?” I grit out.

“You deserved it.” He replies calmly.

“Well, if you weren’t up here jerking it to Jaylinn then you wouldn’t have needed to shower.” I quip back. “It was Jaylinn right?” I probe.

He sighs loudly. I’m bound and determined to break his wall about that girl.

“Do you remember that spring break that we spent at Hunter’s? The year we waited too long to book flights out?”

Cooper snaps his head in my direction. “What the hell made you bring that up?”

I shrug, “I was just trying to remember that girl’s name that I was hanging out with. I met some girl at the bar that reminded me of her.”

Cooper looks straight ahead at the TV that isn’t turned on. “I was too fucked up to remember anything at that party, dude.”

Maybe he was telling me the truth. Maybe he really doesn’t remember sleeping with Brittany, or maybe it really wasn’t Brittany at all. I sit on the bed, rest my elbows on my knees and look over at Coop, who is lying up against his headboard. I let the conversation drop for now. “Why the hell did you let me go out tonight?”

“I didn’t let you do anything. You chose to go with them.”

Groaning, I fall back on the bed and cover my face with my hands. I don’t know what else I can do to fix this mess with Hailey. “What am I supposed to do about Hailey, Coop? She’s avoiding my calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, everything. I can’t eat, sleep, or think. Coach is pissed at me. It’s only a matter of time before he kicks me off the team. I don’t want that but I’m so screwed up. I can’t get my head in the game.”“

He’s quiet. I know what he’s thinking but I don’t want to hear the words.

“Mase, you may have lost her for good.” He sighs and I hear his covers rustling. “If not, you better worship the ground that girl walks on.”

“I know, but how can I fix it if she doesn’t talk to me?”

“You ready to tell me what happened yet?”

“You ready to tell me what’s going on with you and Jay?”

Neither of us responds because there isn’t anything to say. I’m not sure I want to tell him what Lily said to me. If she was lying and I’d even entertained the idea that she was telling the truth, then Coop would be seriously pissed off at me and that was something I didn’t need. Apart from Hailey, he’s the one other person I’m really close to.

I vow to myself that Hunter and MacKenzie’s wedding will be the day I get my girl back and I’m never letting her go again. I’ll tell her everything that happened from the second Lily followed me down the hall to the bathroom. Now I just need to get through this next week’s games and worship the ground she walks on. I sit up, pull my shirt over my head and climb into bed to sleep the rest of this nightmare night away.

4

A little bit stronger

- Hailey -

Flowers were still arriving every other day, the Wednesday before Kenzie’s wedding I’d had enough. The delivery guy showed up right at three, just like clockwork. He knocked on the door and I was all set to unleash my wrath on him when I was suddenly hit with an idea. I was a freaking genius. The delivery guy, whose name I still didn’t know, was cute, tall, sporting short blonde hair that he always had styled in a faux hawk, and pretty green eyes. I couldn’t really get a feel for his body since he was always wearing long sleeves and jeans.

I yank open the door, plaster on my sexy smile and bat my eyelashes a few times and he looks up at me. My smile falters and is replaced with what I can only imagine is a ‘stunned deer in headlights’ look as my eyes continue to run down his body. It’s a pretty warm day and he’s showed up wearing a t-shirt that is snug and showing off his perfectly sculpted body, and a pair of cargo shorts that show off a few tattoos on his calves. Shit! Maybe my plan isn’t such a good idea after all, this guy is out of my league and he’d probably laugh at me when I suggest he be my date for Kenzie’s wedding. When has that ever stopped me though? Be brave, Hailey, you need this.

He clears his throat, hands me the flowers, which I take. Our fingers touch just slightly and I damn near drop the vase. His reactions are quick and he grabs a hold of it again. When I look up he is smiling.

What the hell is wrong with me? This guy can’t have this effect on me; my emotions are under lockdown since shit hit the fan with Mason. I have to pull it together. I give him a weak smile and tighten my hold on the vase. When he feels I’ve finally got a grip, he lets go. I walk to the table in the hallway and place them down, along with the others, and go back to sign for the flowers. He hands me the clipboard, I sign and pass it back. Instead of taking it he grabs my hand and pulls me slightly forward so that I’m closer to him now.

I flinch. I didn’t mean to but it happens anyway. He’s just standing here, holding my hand longer than necessary before he finally lets go.

“You’re beautiful.”

I know I’m turning fifty shades of red because I can feel it. “Thanks.” I manage to say.

He smiles again, and he even has perfect teeth. How did I not notice him before? Oh that’s right, because I’ve been pining for what’s his name. “No problem.”

He starts to turn and leave when I say, “So since you know my name I think it’s only fair that I know yours. You’ve been leaving me flowers for how many weeks now?” I joke around with him.

He chuckles, chills run down my body. “Cole.”

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to tame the mess I’m sure it looks like. “Leave it, it looks fine.” Cole says.

I smile and bring my hands down, “I’m sure it doesn’t, but whatever.”

“So I’m going to take a wild guess here and say that the boyfriend really messed up, huh?”

I sigh, “Something like that, it doesn’t matter. Actually, I don’t think I ever mattered to him.”

He shakes his head, “He must be an idiot.”

“You have no idea.” I mutter.

“What was that?” He asks, anxiously bouncing back and forth on his feet. How could a guy that looks the way he does be so nervous?

I step out the door and take a seat on the porch swing. “Nothing, he screwed up. His loss really, not mine.” I lie. I miss Mason something fierce. Not that I’ll be admitting that to anyone anytime soon.

“Well I gotta get going; I have a few more deliveries to make.” Cole starts to walk away again and this time I let him.

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and scroll through Facebook when I realize Cole has come back, “I know this is probably weird ‘cause it feels weird telling you, but I’m in a band and we are playing at a local bar tonight, you should stop by.”

I think for a minute. Could I really do this? Could I actually have something to do that didn’t involve a Cahill? Well I guess now is a good time to see what he’s like before I actually ask him to the wedding. I just hope he doesn’t mind being asked last minute. “Sure, why not.”

He smiles. That smile is gonna be the death of me. “I can pick you up at eight?”

I twist Mason’s promise ring on my finger for a second. Reality hits me that I am actually about to go on a date with someone that doesn’t have hussies falling over him. At least I hope he doesn’t. He said he was in a band though. Sighing internally, I am about to turn him down when he interrupts my battle.

“You can drive if you want; if you give me your number I’ll text you the address.”

I consider that for a minute.

“Or you can take a walk on the wild side.” He says to me and then winks.

Screw it! Let’s do this.

“Pick me up at eight, Flower boy.”

He winks again and leaves. I tap my screen and go back to scrolling through Facebook, only to stop on Mason’s fan page when I see a picture of him with his arms draped over two girls and walking into some kind of club, at least that’s what I can make out in the picture. My heart sinks and tears pool in my eyes. That seals the deal. I no longer feel bad about going out with Cole tonight. If that’s how you want to play it Mase, I’m game.

Later that night, while I am getting ready, Kenzie sends me a picture of Ryder in his little swimming trunks that I bought for him, with his matching sandals and sunglasses. That little guy is going to be a heartbreaker when he gets older. I miss him and I really need to go over there and spend some time with him soon. Without knowing Mason’s schedule I’m afraid of running into him so I’ve been staying away.

I toss my phone on my bed and go back to getting ready. I’ll get my Ryder fix this weekend at the wedding. I told Kenz and Hunter that Ryder had a date and to not fix him up with anyone. They both looked at me like I was crazy but I’m not. I am going to have Ryder for a few days while they’re off on their honeymoon and then when I go back to work on Tuesday I’ll drop him off with MacKenzie’s mom.

The doorbell sounds and I take a deep breath before I grab my purse and go downstairs for my first date, post Mason. Here’s hoping that tonight is a success and I’ll have someone with me at the wedding that can run interference with Mason.

Cole’s eyes widen when I open the door, and I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I wasn’t exactly sure what to wear so I went with my black skinny jeans, sheer silver tank with lace and sequins and my silver peep toe heels. I added my black diamond earrings that Mason bought me for Christmas and my black and silver bangles. I’ve thrown my hair up into a messy bun and pulled some wispy curls out to frame my face.

Cole rakes his eyes from head to toe and then ever so slowly back up to my lips. He takes a step forward; he can’t be trying to kiss me already! We haven’t even been on the date yet. What if we have horrible chemistry? As he takes another step closer I suck in a breath and ready myself to call off this whole thing. He looks first at me and then at my lips and smirks while taking the final step forward until we are almost touching.

Then, ever so slowly, he shifts slightly to the right and places a kiss on my cheek. Hmm … I’ve never had that done before. Granted, Mason has kissed me on the cheek, forehead, pretty much everywhere, but I’ve never had this happen. I’m a little stunned.

“You look beautiful.” Cole whispers before taking a step back.

I let out the breath that I am holding, begging my heart rate to turn back to normal before Cole hears it. Just a kiss on the cheek and I’m panting like a little girl who just got her first kiss.

I take another step back from him in an attempt to get my bearings about me. Cole looks hot, like really hot. He has on a black t-shirt, with a band that I don’t recognize, that fits like the shirt he was wearing earlier, tight in all the right places, paired with a pair of dark jeans and Nikes. He has a fitted black hat, flipped backwards instead of sporting his mohawk. How is it that he doesn’t have a girlfriend? Before I even realized it I am asking him out loud.

He laughs and shakes his head, “They’re too much trouble.”

I wasn’t expecting that answer.

“Seriously?”

Red flag!

I step out of the house, then turn to shut and lock the door. Cole answers, “Seriously. I don’t have time and I don’t want some girl just hanging around waiting for me. I’m not sure where the band is going right now and it wouldn’t be fair to her. I’ve had my fair share of girls and I’ve seen what that situation can do to someone. I don’t want that for anyone else. But, when I do find a girl I really like, I’ll stay with her. I won’t go off looking for my bed mate like some of the other guys in the band.”

I study him for a moment. Who is this guy? Cole is perfect, almost too perfect.

He must be a damn mind reader. “Don’t do that. I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve lost my best friend and I’ll never do that to myself again.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, “Are you a mind reader or something? I think I should know ahead of time if you are. It’s only fair.”

He throws his head back and laughs, the emotions of that pending conversation successfully diverted. I’m not ready to air my dirty laundry just yet.

His phone starts ringing and he quickly digs it out of his pocket and answers, “Yo,”

He motions his head towards the car and I follow. I am a little taken back when I see his black Dodge Charger sitting in my driveway. I don’t know what I was expecting him to drive, but it wasn’t this.

He smiles when he opens the door for me, “I’ll be there in ten minutes, relax. And tell the guys to act right; I’m bringing someone with me.”

He sighs loudly as he shuts the door and officially closes me out of the conversation as he walks around and climbs in his side. “Sorry about that. The guys are a bunch of assholes sometimes. I’ll apologize in advance for them.”

“It’s no problem; I’ve got experience dealing with assholes. If you’ve met Mason, you’d know exactly what I was talking about.” I ramble on.

“Mason?” Cole questions.

Damn, I hadn’t meant to bring him up. “Yeah, Mason is the ex.”

He cringes, “You don’t happen to mean Mason Cahill do you?”

I nod and Cole curses under his breath. I rest my head against the headrest and close my eyes before I speak, “It’s ok if you don’t want me to go with you. I’d understand.”

“No. No, that’s not it at all.” I open my eyes and look over at Cole as he starts backing out of my driveway. “No offense or anything but from what I’ve heard around town, it didn’t sound like he had a girlfriend.”

My stomach clenches. No, of course it wouldn’t, because Mason is a flirt and totally full of himself.

Cole curses again, “Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You seem like a great girl and I’m not really sure what the hell you’re doing with a guy like that but I’m sure there is a reason.”

Yeah, he’s the love of my life and the one who crushed my heart.

“Let’s not talk about our pasts, ok? It’s a bit touchy and I don’t want to think about that tonight. I just want to go out and have a great time.”

Cole smiles and says, “Deal.”

“Deal.”

He grabs my hand and we make our way to the bar. In this moment I am content with him holding my hand and not talking about our pasts. I haven’t been content in a while and I am determined to stay that way; at least for tonight. I need to find the Hailey that I used to be before someone crushed her. Someone named Mason Cahill. Yep, I’m so not thinking about him tonight.

5

Changed by you

- Mason -

Thankfully things work out and we have home games this week. This is good for Cooper and I, we won’t have any problems attending Hunter and MacKenzie’s wedding. It’s Wednesday night and we’ve just wrapped up another winning game, I want to go to a bar and get drunk; I need the numbness that it provides. Being home is driving me crazy because I can’t go to Hailey’s house and bury myself in her like I want to. I’ve driven past her house a few times and every time her car is there. I try to pump MacKenzie for information on her but she tells me to fuck off. I’m not surprised, they’re like sisters; but still I’m her blood, she could at least give me something. I even tried Hunter but he told me he’s not getting in the middle.

Cooper and I are renting a house near Hunter and MacKenzie since it’s pointless to spend the money to buy one when we’re barely there. It works for us, the house is a split-level, Cooper takes the lower half and I have the upper. The only thing we share is the laundry room. Jaylinn stays here when we’re on the road, just to keep things up for us and to get our mail. I’m still not really sure what is going on with them. Cooper used to bang random girls all the time, and then something changed between him and Jaylinn while we were away at school. I haven’t seen Cooper with anyone in months, that’s like a lifetime for him.

Jaylinn is never far from Cooper when they are both in town, I mean never. She comes to every home game that she can when she isn’t away for one of her soccer games and always spends the night with Cooper when they are both home. I see them kiss and they flirt all the damn time and it’s to the point of disgust. Cooper worships the ground Jaylinn walks on. I’ve talked to Cooper about Jaylinn but he just says they’re friends and dismisses the conversation. I don’t know what is going on with him. He used to talk to me about everything.

This Brittany shit is eating me up inside but in the pit of my stomach I feel like it could be true. Cooper was sleeping around a lot before, maybe he really did it. I know I have to talk to him but I’m just trying to figure out a good time to do it. I figure I’ll wait until after the wedding, it is only a few days away. No-one needs the drama at this wedding.

I’m sitting on the couch watching highlights of the day’s baseball games on ESPN when Cooper comes up, “You ready to go? Jay wants to check out this band that’s playing at the bar tonight.”

I click off the TV, flip my black Yankees hat backwards on my head, and grab my wallet and phone. “Let’s go.”

We walk out just as Jaylinn is pulling into the driveway. Coop rides shotgun and I climb in the back seat.

Cooper leans over and kisses her on the cheek, “Hey sexy.”

She giggles and looks in her rearview mirror; I lean up and kiss her cheek, “Hey hot stuff.”

She continues to giggle while Cooper turns and glares at me. I call it how I see it, she’s hot. She always has been and the older she gets the better she looks, from what I can see she’s wearing a black dress and her eyes are all smoky colored, like how Hailey does hers all the time. Cooper’s gonna have one hand on her all night I’m sure. I guess I’m flying solo tonight. Nothing new there.

“You gonna behave tonight Masey?” Jaylinn asks. She’s the only one who I will let call me Masey, she always has.

I laugh, “Do I ever?” I try to keep the smile on my face but she sees right through me. She knows I’m thinking about Hailey but am too damn stubborn to admit it. I miss the hell out of her, which is why I’m drinking myself stupid. Things haven’t changed since we split, the only way I can turn off the hurt is to drink until I pass out. I tried to stop and I did manage it for a few days, but it was too much. Nothing stops the heartache.

“Nope, I guess not.” She says. Cooper grunts.

“So who are we seeing tonight? Coop said there is a band playing?” I ask, needing a distraction from Hailey.

“It’s a band called Waking Beats. Chloe and I have heard them a few times and I really like them.” She answers. “We’re gonna have some fun tonight, you and Coop can drink and I’ll be DD. That’s why I drove anyway.” She reaches over and grabs Cooper’s hand.

The rest of the drive is pretty quiet, thankfully. We find a parking spot in the back of the lot and make our way in. We walk up to the bar, order our drinks and then try and find a booth, which we just happen to be lucky enough to get, in the back of the bar. Hopefully we won’t be noticed that much in the shadows from the stage. Sometimes being home is a pain in the ass. It’s hard to go unnoticed now that Cooper and I have moved up to the minor leagues and our team is having a fantastic year.

Cooper and Jaylinn are both looking at me with worried looks on their faces. “What?” I ask.

Jaylinn looks towards the stage and Cooper curses under his breath as he reaches for his beer.

“What?” I ask again.

Cooper looks down, Jaylinn hasn’t moved so I followed her gaze and I feel like someone has kicked me in my stomach. Hailey is sitting at a table near the stage with a bunch of guys and the one guy with a black shirt on has his arm hung over the back of her chair.

I start to slowly scoot out of the booth, my intention is to go and claim my girl but Cooper stops me, “Mase, don’t. Leave it alone; you can’t go over there all caveman like I know you fucking want to.”

Yeah because I’m fucking protecting my damn family, again!

He’s right though, that’s exactly what I would have done and she would have been more pissed because she hates the extra attention. I take my hat off and throw it on the table and run my hands through my hair, pulling on it hard.

Jaylinn clears her throat and excuses herself to go to the bathroom, I look over towards Hailey and she is gone too. I’m sure they were meeting there, girl code or some shit. This is my chance to talk to her; I put my hat back on and pull it down so my face is shielded. Cooper calls my name but I don’t want to hear it.

I stand outside the bathroom, waiting for them to exit; she can’t avoid me. I’m blocking her only way out. She’s going to talk to me one way or another.

Jaylinn walks out first and stops when she notices me. I look her in the eyes, her lips are thin but she keeps walking. Hailey hasn’t noticed me yet, which is even better because she can’t lock herself in the bathroom. Damn. She looks good but I can tell she isn’t eating, she’s lost some weight and her eyes aren’t their normal pool blue color. They are more like a dull grey now.

She walks out of the bathroom with her head down, texting on her phone, so I take advantage of that and step right in front of her.

“Shit, I’m …” she stops when she looks up and sees me.

I smirk, I know it’s an asshole move but I can’t help it. Just that little touch from her has my body on fire. Who would have ever thought, the playboy Cahill is turning into such a pussy. “No need to be sorry.”

She tries to go around me but I step in front of her, careful not to touch her. “Move, please.”

“Talk to me, Hails, yell at me, hit me. Just do something.” I beg.

“I’m not doing any of that, Mason, we’re done.”

I flinch.

She is calm. No emotions, no flames in her eyes, just blank. Empty.

“We’re not done and you know it, Hailey. What you saw with Lily never happened.” She looks intently into my eyes, I stare right back. “I know what it looked like it, call it shitty timing but I never touched her. She has nothing on you, Hailey.” I want to keep going until she believes me but I can tell I’m not going to get through to her, she’s closed me off.

She laughs, “You actually expect me to believe that? You looked like a deer in headlights; like you were caught doing something you shouldn’t have been.”

“I didn’t fucking touch her, Hailey.” I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down. “Believe what you want, I have no reason to lie to you. You want us to be over, fine whatever. At least I tried. Can you say the same?”

She looks like I kicked her puppy but then her phone lights up, she types out a text and then slips it in her back pocket and steels her emotions again. “Yeah, I did try, for how many years Mase? Look, I’m here with someone. I’m sure you’ve moved on, you never could keep a girl around for that long.” She smiles, she fucking smiles at me. “Why I ever thought I could finally be the one to settle Mason Cahill was beyond me.”

She looks over my shoulder and her smile widens. “Hailey,” I hear from behind me.

“Hey Cole, I’m coming.”

She glances at me, and this time as she tries to walk around me I let her go. I turn and watch her walk away; she stops where Cole is standing and places her hand on his chest and then kisses him. I clench my fist, wanting to wreck this guy. He has my girl. I take a deep breath, checking my emotions. On any other given day I would have fought him but he isn’t to blame for any of this shit. Protecting my family, once again, gave me the shitty end of the deal. I use my better judgment, which doesn’t happen often, and walk right past them.

As soon as I walk around the corner Cooper throws his arm around my shoulder, “I’m proud of you dude. I saw Cole heading this way and I thought I would have to step in.” He hands me a shot and I down it.

He drops his arm and I give him a pat on the back, “Thanks man.”

We walk back to the table where Jaylinn is all smiles. “What did you do with my hot headed Mason?” she asks me.

I laugh, “Smartass. Now you owe me a shot.”

“Done.” She flags down a waitress and orders shots for me and Cooper.

I purposely keep my eyes away from Hailey for the rest of the night. A few girls come over to our table and sit with us for a while but I know Hailey is looking so I keep them at a distance. I f there is a chance of me getting Hailey back I can’t have these girls hanging all over me.

It’s near closing when I finally see Hailey out of the corner of my eye; she is dancing with Jaylinn. I try not to look but fuck I can’t help it and of course I have a fucking hard on watching her sway her hips back and forth the way she is.

Cooper is watching me; I can feel his eyes on me. I look over at him and sure enough he is. He nods his head towards them and gets up from the booth. I don’t follow right away; I need a minute to calm myself down.

As soon as my feet hit the dance floor the perfect song for Hailey and I comes on, Changed By You by Between The Trees. I heard when I was traveling to one of my away games. I wanted to have Hailey listen to it but that never happened. Maybe this is a sign for us after all.

Hailey’s back is turned towards me; I don’t see her arm candy anywhere so I know I am in the clear, at least for now. I walk up behind her, slide both my arms around her and rest my hands low on her stomach. Her body responds like it always has, and she melts into me; fitting together like puzzle pieces.

I whisper in her ear, “Listen to the words. Just listen.”

She nods, for once not fighting me. We start moving, slowly. Very slowly. As the words start talking about change, taking care, melting fears away, reaching inside and seeing the real person, being the one. As the song continues her body becomes stiff and she trembles.

I start turning her around, never giving her enough space to push away from me, afraid I’d lose our connection. “You’re the one for me, Hailey. I’m letting you go for now but know you will always be the one for me. You can hate me all you want.” I kiss her forehead. “You’re my mirror; you make me see things that no one else can, not even Coop. You challenge me, you tear me down, and you build me back up. Somewhere along the way you lost your mirror, me. When you’re ready to see it again you know where to find me.”

Inhaling her warm vanilla scent that I love into my memory, I pull her in and hug her tight. Slowly her arms circle me and I feel her body shudder, I tilt her chin up so that I can see her. Tears are flowing freely and it is another stab in my heart. She stands up on her tiptoes and places a gentle kiss on my lips.

The kiss was too quick and before I know it she is running into Cole’s open arms.

Fuck, what did I just do?

6

Bleeding Love

- Hailey -

Cole is my saving grace tonight. He came after me with no questions asked when I sent him a text that Mason had me cornered in the hallway near the bathrooms. Then again, right before I was about to say “screw everything” and take Mason back, he appeared, and seeing him brought me back to reality. Seeing Cole reminds me that Mason isn’t mine because he cheated on me; or at least that is definitely what it looked like.

As we stand here on the dance floor, holding each other, I feel calm even though my heartbeat is erratic, I feel secure even though I know I am anything but, and I feel like a weight has been lifted even though that is furthest from the truth. I need to be strong and stand my ground with Mason; it’s the only way with him. If I cave and go running back to him he’ll just keep breaking my heart.

“You ok?” Cole whispers in my ear.

I’m able to muster up a small smile, “I am now.”

He doesn’t ask what just happened and I’m grateful for that. “You ready to get out of here?”

I nod, Cole squeezes me one last time before he lets go. He reaches up and wipes away my tears with his thumbs. Once all my tears are dry he reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers. Even though I only met Cole this afternoon I feel comfortable with him. Cole and I could become great friends; I almost feel like he knows what I’m going through. Maybe one day he’ll tell me his past. As for me telling Cole about mine, I don’t have a choice - he seems to be seeing it unfold right before his eyes.

As we start to walk off the dance floor I know Mason isn’t here anymore, I can’t feel him. I look over my shoulder in search of Jaylinn, I don’t want to be rude and not say goodbye, even though I know she would understand. She is still wrapped in Cooper’s arms, swaying back and forth. My heart aches and when she sees me she waves her goodbye and Cooper winks at me.

Our way back to my house its quiet, I hate it. It’s making me think of Mason and how badly I want to be with him. Locked behind closed doors where the real Mason is. Not the one everyone else knows; the bad ass Mason Cahill, the unattainable one. I want to run my fingers in his dark thick hair, stare into his stormy blue eyes, and engulf my body into his rock hard one.

“You want to talk about it?” Cole finally breaks the silence.

We’re about five blocks away from my house and those five blocks seem like miles away. I want to run into my bedroom, dive into my bed and bury myself in there for days until I can overcome this heartache. “No, I’m good.” I rest my head back against the headrest.

“He was the one, huh?” Cole questions.

I can’t answer him; I know my voice will tell the truth, so I just shake my head.

“I thought I’d found mine too. We were high school sweethearts.” He shakes his head like he can’t believe it. “We actually knew each other growing up, our parents were friends. It was like we were set up to be together way back then.”

He stops talking; he is staring straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel hard. I wait a few minutes before I ask, “What happened?”

Cole looks over at me, so many emotions flash over his face, “She broke my heart.”

We leave the conversation at that. He doesn’t want to tell me how and I’m ok with that because I’m not ready to tell him what Mason did to me just yet. We pull into my driveway and all the lights are off, except the front porch. We sit there for a few minutes, neither of us in a hurry for the night to end.

“Thanks for coming tonight.” Cole says, breaking the silence.

“It was fun.” And it was, until Mason showed up. All the guys in the band are a riot and I see myself hanging out with them again.

He laughs, “No reason to lie.”

I look over at him and smile, he can already read me. “It was, minus the two mishaps.”

He shrugs, “Yeah I guess you’re right. The guys really like you, too. We are playing again Friday night, you want to come again?”

I shake my head and he nods, thinking I’m rejecting him. “I want to, but my best friend, MacKenzie, Mason’s sister, is getting married Saturday. So I have to play maid of honor this weekend.”

“That’s going to be awkward.” He chuckles.

“Understatement of the year.” I mumble back. I should ask him now to be my date; it’s the perfect time although I should talk to MacKenzie first. I’m sure she’ll understand, I’ll promise her nothing will happen but I just can’t do this by myself.

I look over at him and he smiles that perfect smile. If it was another time and place, then I could see myself with Cole. “You want to be my knight in shining armor and be my date?”

He studies me for a few minutes, staring into my eyes, it causes me to squirm. Why is he staring at me so intently? There isn’t anything good inside me, it’s all tainted. Always feeling unwanted, unloved. My parents got a divorce because of me. Mom’s around and she’s great and all but she works her ass off to keep a roof over our heads. My sister blames me for them splitting. The only one who has ever made me feel special, loved, was Mason. But now I don’t even have that.

He reaches over and pats my leg, “Yeah. I’ll go. I may be signing my own death warrant but why the hell not.”

I squeeze his hand that is still resting on my leg, “Thanks Cole, and don’t worry, nothing will happen at MacKenzie’s wedding. I think everyone is going above and beyond to see to that.”

“No big deal, I was only messing with you. I could use a fight anyway.” Cole says with a wink.

“I’m sorry there’s so much drama that surrounds me. It seems to follow me wherever I go.”

“Hailey, really don’t worry about it. Everyone has their own share of drama. God knows I have enough of it to last me a lifetime.” I stare off into space for a few minutes. The silence is comfortable.

Cole looks over at me and grabs my hand. It’s not weird or unfamiliar.

“Cole?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want you to think I’m using you because I’m not. I’m just in a shitty situation. I wish I were in another time and place in my life. I’d like to see where things would go with us but I just can’t. You’re don’t seem ready, I’m not ready. So the only thing I have to offer is friendship.” I admit to him. I feel better for getting that off my chest.

“I know you’re not using me, Hailey. I get it; I really do, so stop worrying about it. Friends are what we’re going to be.” He agrees.

And so that was settled. Cole and I both laugh when I say “See you Friday”. Since I got flowers today that means if Mason keeps his deliveries as scheduled I will get more on Friday. Cole comes to my side of the car, opens the door for me and walks me to my front door. He kisses me on the forehead and leaves.

* * *

Thursday morning I text MacKenzie and see what she’s up to. I tell her I want to come over and see my nephew. We make plans for lunch and she promises to keep Mason clear from the house.

I stop by the toy store before arriving at the house. I know she’s going to yell at me for spoiling him but I can’t help it.

I pull into the driveway a little while later and get out of my car with my hands full of food and gifts. MacKenzie opens the door with Ryder on her hip. He’s so adorable. Head full of dark curly hair, bright blue eyes like his mom and strong features like his dad. There is no denying that he is theirs.

When MacKenzie sees that my hands are full she gives me a disapproving look. “Hailey,”

“Oh shut up, I’m his aunt and I’m allowed to spoil him if I want to.” I step up to them and give Ryder a kiss on his forehead and he starts to giggle and coo.

MacKenzie opens the door wider for me to step inside, we walk into the kitchen where I unload my hands and grab Ryder. I shower him with kisses from head to toe. Ryder is all smiles, laughs, coos, and flailing his little arms and legs all over the place. I feel so much love for this little boy; he takes my breath away sometimes, the way he gets into my heart. After I get my fix of him I place him into his bouncer, which is in front of the TV in the living room.

Going back into the kitchen, MacKenzie has lunch spread out on the table and is putting a sandwich on her plate. I walk over to the cabinet, grab a glass and fill it with ice. I look over at her and hold my glass up, she nods and I do the same for her.

We are sitting at the table eating our lunch, avoiding the elephant in the room. We have a truce in place not to discuss Mason unless I bring him up. She is just as pissed off at him as I am.

“So … I went out on a date last night.” I say as causal as possible.

“I heard.” MacKenzie says as she looks everywhere in the room but at me.

“From who?” I snap back. How can she know already unless Mason was here earlier, crying the blues?

“Mason.” She answers and finally looks in my direction.

I flinch at the mention of his name; it still stings every time someone says it.

I need to change the subject; I’m not going into details about last night with her. “So I found my date for the wedding if I’m still able to bring one.”

MacKenzie doesn’t answer right away. She’s probably trying to weigh up her options, deciding if me bringing a date is going to be suicide for her.

“I promise there will be no drama at the wedding, Kenz. Cole seems like a great guy and really handled himself well last night. There was no crazy shit going on, no screaming, and no fighting.”

She nods but still hasn’t said yes just yet.

“I don’t think I can handle being at the wedding with Mason. I know I have to walk down the aisle with him and all the other stuff, but having Cole there will make this just a little easier on me. I promise nothing will happen at the wedding, it’s all about you and Hunter. Hell, I can probably have you meet Cole tomorrow if you want. He’s been delivering the flowers every other day.”

Her eyes grow big as what I just revealed to her sinks in. “So that’s how you met him?”

“Yes, every other day for the last two weeks I’ve seen him. Last night he asked if I wanted to check out his band. I had a really great time. Weird that a Cahill wasn’t involved but still I had a good time listening to them play. Jay and I were out on the dance floor for a while too. If I would have known they were all going to be there I would have asked you and Hunter to come too.” I explain and feel like I’m rambling because I’m nervous of what she’ll say.

She takes a sip of her drink, then sets down the glass and grabs a napkin. She is wiping her hands and studying her half eaten sandwich. After a few long moments she replies, “I’m ok with Cole coming, but I will say that after my wedding, you must sit down with Mason, Hails. You both need closure on this.”

Taking a deep breath I say, “I know and I plan on it.”

MacKenzie smiles and looks over my shoulder towards Ryder, bouncing like a mad baby in his bouncy chair. “Good, then it’s settled. Who should I sit him with during the reception?”

Crap, I didn’t think of that. “Um, Bentley?”

She laughs, “You sure you want to do that to him?”

I close my eyes and shake my head. “Maybe not.”

We both burst out laughing, knowing damn well that Cole is in for it with Bentley. I’m sure I’ll be mortified by the stories Bentley will share.

MacKenzie and I talk about the details of what I need to bring tomorrow and what she already has. We make plans to meet here at her house and all the girls will drive down to Ocean Club Hotel together in two cars since we can’t fit everything into one. I kiss Ryder and give MacKenzie a hug goodbye and set off to do a few last minute errands.

As I’m driving to the store I find myself hoping I’m not making a mistake by bringing Cole with me.

7

Forever

- Mason -

I can still feel Hailey’s lips on mine, they were only there for a few seconds but they are still burning. You know when you take that first sip of coffee, knowing it’s going to be too hot to drink, but you do anyway and it leaves that tingling, burning feeling on your tongue? Yeah, I have that on my lips. That kiss told me one thing for sure. Hailey Taylor isn’t over me. Not by a long shot.

I’m finally home from practice and trying to unwind in my living room. I wish Hailey were here to rub my shoulders. She isn’t, but my memories of her are.

I’d just got home from sophomore tryouts and my shoulder was sore as hell from pitching. I was icing and heating it off and on like my dad always told me to. Hunter was icing his swollen, black and blue thigh; he’d been hit by a ball in the dirt. Cooper was sitting in the recliner, laughing his ass off at our sorry asses. Being an outfielder, he didn’t get hurt all that often. One day of practice down and it was like the end of season pains we were feeling.

MacKenzie and Hailey were carrying on in the kitchen doing God only knows what. They mostly did this anytime we were around, and it annoyed the shit out of me. I knew MacKenzie had a crush on Hunter but I wasn’t sure if he had feelings for my sister and I hoped he didn’t. No one would ever be good enough for my little sister.

A little while later the girls came out with brownies and sodas for all of us. We sat around the rest of the afternoon, watching movies until dinner was ready. After we all ate, we went back into the living room and started our homework. Hunter and MacKenzie were on the love seat. Hailey, Cooper and I were on the sofa. Hailey leaned in my direction and kept sneaking glances at me. She bumped into my shoulder that was already sore as shit and I cursed, loud, scaring the hell out of her. Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched us. I was holding my shoulder, eyes squeezed tightly shut, rocking back and forth, waiting for the pain to subside. By the time it had, Hailey and I were the only two left in the room. I looked over and saw a few tears sliding down her cheek. I felt like a dick, I knew she didn’t mean to hurt me.

“Stop crying Hailey, I’m alright.” I told her.

She reached over and grabbed my books from my lap and placed them on the living room table. She grabbed the Icy Hot that was laying there and looked back at me with her eyebrows raised. I nodded, hoping it would help a little. I tried like hell to get my shirt off without raising my arms but it was difficult. Hailey saw me struggling; she reached for the bottom of my shirt and slowly started pulling it up. When I was able to wiggle my one arm out she pulled the shirt over my head. I could have done the rest myself but I liked her helping me. I was a fifteen year old boy, I couldn’t help but get a little excited that a girl as pretty as Hailey was touching me.

After my shirt was tossed to the side, Hailey unscrewed the lid on the tube, squeezed out some Icy Hot and warmed it with her hands before she started massaging it into my shoulder. It hurt like a bitch but I didn’t want to let on that I probably really needed to go to the doctor and I didn’t want her to think she was hurting me again. After a few minutes the medicated rub was taking its effect and I started to feel slightly better.

Hailey had gone to wash her hands in the sink. When she walked back in she reached down for my shirt, and my shorts started to get a little tighter thinking about what it would feel like to have her wrapped in my arms. When she stood up I quickly looked away. I saw her take a few steps towards me out of the corner of my eye. I quickly grabbed for the throw pillow and placed it on my lap. I stretched for my shirt that was still in her hand and she pulled it back out of my grasp. I stood up and tried again. She stepped back just out of range. This time I grabbed her hip, held her there and yanked my shirt. She didn’t put up a fight. I looked down to see Hailey staring at me, lips parted slightly. I felt that stir in my pants again; I pushed her back a little so she wouldn’t go running for the hills. When I did, she stumbled a little like I was the only thing holding her up. She fell into my arms, both her hands on my biceps, chest to chest, legs to legs. She looked up at me with those pool blue eyes and I couldn’t look away. Everything around us was silent; I could hear my blood pumping in my ears which I didn’t think was possible with the way my shorts were tented. Ever so slightly I started lowering my head, my eyes glued to hers. When she realized I was about to kiss her, her eyes went wide. I started backing away, thinking she didn’t want my kiss but she lifted herself up on her tiptoes and placed her soft silky lips against mine. Now this wasn’t my first kiss but I knew it was hers. I was afraid to push my luck with her so I didn’t deepen the kiss; I let her kind of lead the way. She was only twelve after all and I didn’t want to panic her. She placed a few small kisses on my lips and then stepped away. I wanted to kiss her again but didn’t want to make her feel uneasy.

I looked up at her, “You should go find Kenz.”

She nodded and ran out of the living room. That was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.

I hear Cooper walking up the steps and it stirred me from that first of Hailey. I sit up, resting my elbows on my knees and pinch the bridge of my nose with fingers. I should have known all those years ago Hailey was the one for me.

Later tonight we have the rehearsal dinner at the Ocean Club Hotel where the wedding is being held tomorrow. Cooper and I pack up our shit to stay over with Jackson and Hunter at my parent’s shore house, which is about twenty minutes from the hotel. The girls aren’t allowing Hunter and MacKenzie to spend the night together; they all demanded a no boys allowed night. This means we even have little Alex and Ryder with us. If the boys want to go out and celebrate tonight I am offering to stay home. I am just not in the mood. I knew this was shitty of me as I was the best man, but I just didn’t care.

Arriving at the hotel I park at the valet stand, Cooper and I walk into the main reception area and I feel like someone knocks the air out of me. Hailey is standing at the bar in a short, baby pink strapless dress, her hair piled on top of her head, curls dangling all around. She has on white heels that make her bronze skin glow. The bartender sits two shot glasses down in front of her and begins filling it with what I’m sure is Vodka. Hailey looks over her shoulder and her eyes find mine, she holds the stare a few minutes longer than I thought she would before she turns and says something to the bartender who then sets another two shot glasses on the bar and fills them.

Cooper nudges me in the side with his elbow, “You should help her out.” He laughs and walks away in search of Hunter I’m sure.

“Asshole.” I mumble, mostly to myself since he’s already walked away.

I don’t know if I should go over there or not. I told her I was letting her go. After a few minutes of battling with myself I make up my mind and walk over to her. We need to sort this shit out, it can’t be awkward tomorrow at the wedding; MacKenzie would never forgive us.

I place my elbows on the bar and gaze over at her. I see her tense, trying not to move a muscle.

“You think that’s such a good idea?” I ask her. I don’t really know what else to say. Actually there is plenty to say, but not here, not now.

Hailey turns towards me and slides a shot my way. “Cheers.” She says with a smile.

I frown and look at the bartender who shrugs. “How many of these has she had?”

He just shakes his head.

“Asshole, I’m right here.” Hailey says, rolling her eyes at me.

Drunk Hailey is out to play, this should be an interesting night.

I take my shot, place the glass on the bar and offer Hailey my elbow. Guess we better get this party started. Hailey stares at my elbow for a minute before finally grabbing her purse off the bar and then slips her hand around my arm.

“I don’t trust my feet to get me to where I need to go. Don’t go getting any ideas.” Hailey slurs.

I try not to laugh but sometimes I can’t help it with her. Every time shit gets deep she drinks herself numb, her coping mechanism, much like mine.

When we step out onto the deck that leads to the beach, everyone’s heads turn to us. MacKenzie and Hunter do the same but have their eyebrows risen. I shake my head no.

Hailey starts to laugh and says quietly, “Did they really think we were back together?”

My mom, who is standing the closest to us, gives Hailey a disapproving frown. That frown should be directed at me since I screwed everything up but Mom doesn’t know what happened.

Hailey curses under her breath when she realizes she said that a little too loudly when it was supposed to be a whisper. I walk her up to where MacKenzie is standing and Hailey lets go of my arm. My sister hugs me and whispers, “I love you Mase.”

“I love you too, sis.” I tell her, wishing it were Hailey I was telling it to.

I stroll over and take my place next to Hunter who gives me a handshake. Cooper pats me on the back, as does Jackson. The wedding officiate starts to explain all that we need to do, we run it through once and then call it a night. Dinner is waiting for us at the hotel restaurant once we finish, I offer Hailey my arm again but this time she doesn’t take it; I guess the alcohol is starting to wear off. I shrug and walk away from her. Yeah it stings, but I’m not shocked.

Thankfully dinner is uneventful. Since Hunter drove down with the girls he is catching a ride with Cooper and I back to the shore house.

“I just need to get my bags from the car.” He tells me.

Since I parked in valet, Cooper and I walk with him and the girls to get the bags. Hunter is pulling all the bags out when he comes to the last two.

“Damn Hailey, what the hell do you have in here?” Hunter asks her.

She starts laughing, “Wouldn’t you like to know. Someone has to keep us girls entertained for the night.”

Hunter gives MacKenzie the eye and she starts laughing and hugs him tightly. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Hunter kisses her a few times. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my soon to be wife.”

Cooper starts coughing while I start gagging. Jaylinn, Chloe and Hailey all have dreamy looks on their faces.

“Alright, break this shit up before I throw up.” I grumble.

I start walking away to meet Jackson who has Alex and Ryder with him in the lobby. Right before I walk back into the hotel I glance over at Hailey who is wiping her eyes.

I’m not sure why she is crying. Is it because of me? Is it because of Hunter and the way he is with my sister, like no one else exists except her? I’m left with so many feelings; I’m not sure what to do with them so I do what I do best and shut them off. Steel my heart so that I can get on with the rest of my night.

Our time to talk will come. Everyone loses something in life; the way to move on from it is closure. Hailey and I need that. We need our closure after another bump in our road. Straight after the wedding I’m going after her and I’m going to make her listen to me. I need to promise her that I’ll stop doing this to us.

8

If I didn't have you

- Hailey -

After the boys leave, Chloe, Jaylinn and MacKenzie all turn to me and wrap their arms around me; telling me how much they love me. Once I get all the tears out I take a deep breath, wipe my face and plaster a smile on my face. This isn’t about me, it’s all about MacKenzie.

“I’m good now. No more tears. I got them all out.” It’s a lie, a lie that I need to make them believe.

They all look at me with weary expressions but I just smile bigger. The girls and I reach for our bags and wheel them to our penthouse suite. This whole hotel is gorgeous. It’s located right in Cape May, on the beach, overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. From almost every point in the hotel you can see the ocean; this is the thing that sold MacKenzie on it. She wants a beach wedding and this hotel offers her everything.

We open the door to the suite; it is posh and stylish, just like the rest of the hotel. There is a giant sitting room with a stocked bar and, a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall. There is a chic purple and black sectional sofa and a huge coffee table in the middle. Off to the left of the room is a hallway and stairs. The only thing located in the hallway is a bathroom with a small stand up shower. We all go upstairs and find a massive room that has two queen size beds, which of course I bounce right on. This bed is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s like the bed is molding to my body, enveloping me. I sit up on my elbows to see MacKenzie taking in the room.

“Kenz, come try it out.” I tell her from my spot on the bed closest to the balcony.

She bounces on it, just the same as I did. She sighs while I stretch out like a lazy cat. She looks over at me and we both start laughing. She knows me too well, me and my dirty mind.

“You’re gonna need a bed like this when Hunter’s done working your body over tomorrow night.” I say while still laughing.

She kicks my leg. “I guess I should be even more thankful for the big ass shower with the bench in it.” She says with a giggle.

“That’s disgusting Kenz!” Jaylinn whines.

“Holy fuck, have you seen that bathroom? I gotta get Jackson to get us a room here without Alex for the night.” Chloe says as she lies down on the bed across from MacKenzie and me.

“We’ve got one in our honeymoon suite, too.” MacKenzie tells us.

I reluctantly climb off the bed, MacKenzie follows. I pull open the curtains all the way so we can look out over the ocean. The first thing I see are dolphins diving all around. MacKenzie steps out onto the balcony, Chloe and Jaylinn follow her.

I have to go to the bathroom so I stroll across the room. I push open the door and I’m amazed. The whole back wall is a shower, framed with glass; there are showerheads on opposite sides of the ceiling-to-floor wall with a third, rain showerhead hanging from the center of the stall. It’s all black granite walls and tile floor. Also there are benches on both sides on the shower. It’s easily big enough to fit five people. Off to the right is a set of his and hers sinks and to the left is another door. I open it and the toilet is in there with a flat screen TV mounted to the wall.

I hear MacKenzie calling me. I quickly open the shower door, step in and close it. I press my hands on the glass, arch my back and stick my ass out and start moaning.

MacKenzie knocks, and then walks in. She immediately starts laughing. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Is this how Hunter’s going to have you standing in the shower?” I ask while trying to keep a straight face.

MacKenzie is no good, she has tears running down her face and she’s holding her stomach. Jaylinn and Chloe walk in to see what’s going on. Now everyone is laughing and I can’t help but laugh too.

“Oh my god, I so needed that laugh, Hails.” MacKenzie says.

I step out of shower and shut the door. “You so know that Hunter can’t wait to take you in the shower. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re not knocked up again after your honeymoon.”

She blushes, “Shut your mouth, Hails.”

No one other than me knows, but she wants another baby, and soon. Personally I think she should wait and enjoy what she already has, and I’ve told her that. The look in her eyes says it all though. She’s on cloud nine with her little family and if she wants to add to it then so be it. She once said to me she wants all her babies close in age like her family.

Smirking at her I say, “Well let’s get this party started.”

“Hails,” MacKenzie whines. “You promised nothing crazy.”

I stop walking and look over my shoulder, “Nothing crazy is gonna happen, just a little fun and something to help you relax and sleep.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” Jaylinn mumbles.

All four of us make our way downstairs to our bags. Each of the girls only brought one bag while I have two.

“Did you really need to bring so many clothes, Hails? You do realize we are only staying two nights, right?” Chloe asks me.

I fling my huge suitcase on the coffee table. I start to unzip it and I feel the girls’ eyes on me. Once it’s all the way unzipped I flip it open and I see them all look dumbfounded.

“You didn’t think I could let my girl down the night before her wedding did you?”

Jaylinn bumps MacKenzie shoulder, “You’re in for it tonight.”

Chloe walks over and starts pulling out shot glasses, different flavored vodka, Sunny D, shakers, plastic cups, mini umbrellas, penis straws. Jaylinn pulls out the movies I brought along too, Dirty Dancing, Sweet Home Alabama and Pretty Woman.

MacKenzie takes a seat on the sofa. “I can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow.”

We all stop what we are doing and look over at her. She has tears running down her face. Chloe, Jaylinn and I look at each other and then over at MacKenzie. I know she wants this, she isn’t crying sad tears. They are definitely happy tears. Jaylinn and Chloe each sit on either side of her while I start making drinks. Everyone needs a drink right now, especially me. It’s so hard to look at MacKenzie without thinking of Mason. I see so much of him in her, the dark hair, the sparkling blue eyes, the smile; even their noses are the same. I also feel like I’m not going to be her first anymore, not now that she has Hunter. With everything she went through, I was always the one she called first. A lot is changing but some things will always be the same.

When I finish with all of our drinks we all settle in and watch our all-time favorite movies and talk about what the game plan is for tomorrow morning.

While the movie plays, I get lost in my own memories about the first time I snuck into Mason’s bedroom eight years ago.

My parents got into the biggest fight that I’ve ever witnessed. They always fought, I don’t think there was ever a day when they didn’t. Mom was always crying. Tara was always telling me they were fighting because of me. If I was never born, they wouldn’t be fighting.

I was sitting in my room doing my homework, trying to hurry so that Mom could take me to MacKenzie’s since it was a Friday night and I could sleep over. Tara being the goodie-goodie that she is, was already at her friend’s house. Someone slammed the front door and caused me to jump. I knew what was about to happen. I ran to my bed, hugged my pillow and started rocking back and forth. The yelling began. Normally I would lie down in bed, stick my fingers in my ears and hum my favorite song, I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston, tuning everything out. But tonight, I didn’t. I wanted to see if Tara was telling the truth.

There was lots of slamming, glass breaking, and screaming. I couldn’t hear every word they were saying with all the commotion going on but I was able to pick up bits and pieces of it. Mom was complaining about Dad being drunk and telling him this was the cause of all their problems. Then I heard a loud bang and Mom shouting at him to stop destroying the house. I heard Mom yelling for him not to leave because he was too drunk to drive. Someone came stomping up the steps and then more stomping came down the hall. They were right outside my door.

“It’s all your fault. I told you I didn’t want any kids. We had Tara and I got over it but you just weren’t happy with her.” My dad yelled.

“Stop it; you know that’s not true.” Mom replied back.

“I never wanted that other brat and you knew this. She fucked our lives up, Claire. We have been struggling ever since.” Dad roared.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My own dad didn’t want me, Tara was right. He hated me. I destroyed his life, his marriage.

“That’s not true and you know it. You love her just as much as Tara. That’s your flesh and blood.” Mom cried back.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I stuck my fingers in my ears and started humming as I cried. My dad hated me. He didn’t love me. My stupid sister was right; no wonder she blamed everything on me. I was the cause of all the fights.

I knew we didn’t have a lot of money growing up. I couldn’t always get all the stuff that the other kids at school had. We didn’t live in a huge house like MacKenzie did. We lived in a small, two bedroom house, and Tara and I had to share a room. Dad had to work two jobs and Mom worked a lot, too. But we were ok; I had both of my parents. Some of the kids at school didn’t. I thought I had everything since I had a whole family. Now I felt like all of this was my fault. If I wasn’t born they wouldn’t be fighting.

I stopped humming and listened to see if the fighting stopped. It had. I was wiping my face as my mom came into my room.

She took one look at me and knew I heard everything. “Oh Hailey, don’t listen to him. He’s drunk.”

I nodded. “Can you take me to Kenzie’s now?”

She gave me a small smile, “Yes Sweetie, let’s get you packed up.”

When I arrived at MacKenzie’s a little while later, Mason and Cooper were out front shooting hoops. Cooper waved to me but Mason didn’t. He stopped bouncing the ball and looked intently at me. I waved goodbye to Mom and made my way up the walkway to the front door but someone grabbed my wrist. I turned and was met with Mason’s stormy blue eyes.

“Why are you crying?” he asked.

I looked down, “Mom and Dad got into another fight.”

He pulled me into a hug and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I just nodded and begged the tears not to start up again. He let me go and went back to his game with Cooper.

MacKenzie knew the second she saw me that something had happened, and, her being the best friend that she was, put on my favorite movie and made popcorn. Cooper and Mason had joined us as well. And that was how the night ended.

When I was making my bed on MacKenzie’s futon she asked what happened. I just shrugged my shoulders not wanting to talk about it. She let it go, she knew what battles to fight and this wasn’t one of them.

I tossed and turned for hours. I couldn’t sleep. All I could think about was the fact my dad didn’t love me, didn’t want me. I finally decided to get up to get a glass of water. I stepped out into the hallway, all was dark and quiet. I passed the bathroom door but then stopped at Mason’s. I looked back at MacKenzie’s door then down the hallway to her parents’. No one was around. I knocked lightly, turned the door knob and opened the door.

Mason sat up, “You ok?”

I nodded and walked over to his bed. He looked at me and smiled. I attempted to smile back but it didn’t work. He pulled his covers back and motioned with his head to get in. I looked back over at the door before I climbed in. I knew this was wrong and we could get into a lot of trouble but I felt safe with Mason. He was always there to protect MacKenzie, as was Cooper, but I felt different with Mason.

Mason turned on his side to face me and gave me enough room on his twin size bed for me to lie down. “You want to talk about it?”

I didn’t answer right away as I got settled. I put my back to him so I didn’t have to look into his concerned eyes, “No, not really.”

I felt him brush my hair off the pillow and kiss my head. “I’m here when you’re ready.”

I shook my head. I finally felt relaxed enough, my eyes getting heavy.

The last thing I remember is Mason whispering, “I’ll protect you.”

MacKenzie nudges me with her knee. I blink a few times, clearing the memory away. “You ok?”

I nod, “Yeah.”

“Why are you crying?” she questions me.

I wipe my cheeks and sure enough they’re wet. I shrug my shoulders, not wanting to talk about it.

She wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me to her. “I love you, Hails.”

Another few tears roll down my cheek. “I love you too, Kenz.”

9

By your side

- Mason -

I toss and turn for a while; I can’t sleep worth a shit, the anticipation of what’s to come tomorrow. I wish that the day isn’t going to be painful for me, or for Hailey either. It’s my fault, like always. Maybe it’s better if Hailey and I do go our separate ways. I always seem to screw things up where she is concerned. I’ve told her for years that I would always protect her but I just seem to hurt her more. I should have just told her why I had Lily cornered. It’s stupid that I didn’t. Hailey and I made a promise to never ask the other to keep secrets. It wasn’t fair that we asked each other to hide things. I know she would probably understand why I did it. But on the other hand I knew it was a possibility that she might not, why should I trust anything that Lily said? She couldn’t be trusted. This was why I wanted to wait until after the wedding to talk to her.

I hear Ryder babbling and cooing down the hall. I figure since I’m up I figured I might as well go check on him and give Hunter a few extra hours of sleep.

I push his bedroom door open; Ryder is standing up in his pack-n-play, batting at his mobile. I cross the room to him and his eyes light up. “Hey big guy.”

Ryder smiles, showing me his gums and his two little bottom teeth that have popped up.

I reach down and pick him up, along with his blanket and his binky. I take a seat in the rocking chair with him and hope to rock him back to sleep. He’s sucking away on his binky and he’s got a hold of my finger.

“You know how lucky you are, Ryder?” He kicks his little feet. “Mommy is gonna look like a princess tomorrow, and your daddy is going to sweep her off her feet. You got pretty lucky with those two.”

He starts grunting and rubs his eyes with his hand. His blanket slides off of us; I reach down and grab it for him. I turn his little body so that we are chest to chest and his head is resting on my shoulder.

“Your mommy is one of the strongest women I know, aside from your grandma. She doesn’t look brave on the outside but she is on the inside. Don’t be fooled by her.” He tucks his arm up under my chin. “I’m gonna need you to help me out tomorrow, buddy. Aunt Hailey is going to be there and it’s going to mess with my head.” I take a deep breath. “I miss her.”

I listen closely to see if he’s gone back to sleep and I hear his soft breathing and feel it against my neck. I don’t want to move just yet in case he wakes up while I’m moving around so I hold him for a little while longer.

Holding him like this in my arms does something inside me. I want this with Hailey. I want the house with the white picket fence, the two point four kids and the dog. The last time I wanted something like this was when I begged my dad to let me play baseball all those years ago.

I feel Ryder moving so I hold on a little tighter to make sure I don’t drop him. Then I feel someone tap my arm.

“I’m going to put him down.” Hunter says when I open my eyes.

The room is bright, sun shining through the blinds. I must have fallen asleep while I was rocking Ryder.

I get up and walk quietly out into the hallway. Hunter follows once he lays Ryder down.

“How long have you been in there?” Hunter asks.

I shrug. “Not sure. It was around four when I heard him.”

Hunter nods. “I didn’t even hear him on the monitor.”

“No big deal, I was up.” We walk down the hall towards the stairs. “What time is it?”

I roll my stiff neck as he answers, “About ten. I peeked in to make sure Ryder was ok because he’s normally up way before now.”

When we reach the kitchen; I reach in the fridge for a bottle of water. “You want one?” I ask Hunter who is sitting at the kitchen table.

“No thanks.”

I shut the door and take a seat next time him. It’s quiet; Cooper, Jackson and Alex must either be out or still sleeping.

“Everything ok with you?” Hunter questions me.

I knew it was only a matter of time before someone asked me that.

“Yup, couldn’t be better.” I say sarcastically.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“What do you want me to say? I fucked up. What else is new?”

“What happened that night?” Hunter is looking at me with concern in his eyes. He knows I don’t do shit for no good reason, not where it concerns Hailey.

“Doesn’t matter, what’s done is done. Let’s not try to fix me today. Today is about you and my little sister. My shit will still be here later.”

Hunter watches me for a long few minutes, making me uncomfortable.

“I’ll drop it for now.” He tells me. “Cooper, Jackson and Alex will be back with breakfast soon. No one felt like cooking.”

I don’t answer back; food is the least of my worries. I grab my water bottle and head out on the back deck. I strip out of my shirt and take a run down on the beach, needing to clear my head.

A few hours later we are all dressed in our tuxes. The limo is outside, waiting to take us over to the hotel. The photographer is here, taking pictures of all of us out on the beach. She’s been snapping some with just Hunter and Ryder and a few with me, his best man. She’s finished now so we all pile into the limo and head to the hotel.

It’s show time.

- Hailey -

We order room service once we are all awake and functioning. We stayed up pretty late last night as no one could sleep. The hairstylist and make-up artist should be showing up any minute to get started.

“Are you getting nervous yet?” Chloe asks MacKenzie.

She shakes her head, “No. Is that normal? I mean, I’m excited but I’m not nervous. Is that bad? Oh god, maybe it’s a sign or something.”

We all start giggling. “Hate to point this out to you but you’re a nervous wreck, Sweetie.” Chloe tells her.

MacKenzie frowns.

Elle, MacKenzie’s mom, walks in with a single red rose and a piece of paper in her hand. She walks over and hands it to MacKenzie. Chloe, Jaylinn, Elle and I, all share a knowing look. Hunter wrote MacKenzie a letter about her something new, old, borrowed and blue.

“What’s this?” MacKenzie asks.

Elle places a hand on her shoulder. “Open it, baby girl.”

She looks up and we all smile at her. She opens it and reads it silently. When MacKenzie is done she looks up at us with tears in her eyes.

“Well, what did it say?” Jaylinn questions.

I can tell MacKenzie is trying hard to not cry. Jaylinn reaches for the letter and reads it out loud.

Morning baby,

I hope you were able to get some sleep. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since dinner last night. Can’t wait to see you in a few hours and be able to call you my wife. Thank you for today.

I told you I wanted to take care of your new, old, borrowed and blue.

Your mom is holding your something old.

Chloe has your something borrowed.

Jaylinn has your blue.

And last but not least, Hailey has your new.

Each girl has been given certain times to reveal your items throughout the morning and afternoon. I hope you love them.

Love you always and forever,

Your soon to be husband

We all look over at Elle who is placing diamond hairpins on the table in front of MacKenzie.

“These were your grandmother’s, who then passed them down to me. And now I’m giving them to you to wear on your special day.” Elle explains.

We all have tears in our eyes now. “Who knew my brother could be such a sap.” Jaylinn sniffles.

Someone knocks on the door; I look down at my cell phone. The hair stylist and make-up artist are right on time, “I’ll get it.” I tell them.

For the next hour, MacKenzie’s hair is being styled while I get my makeup done. When we finish, Chloe disappears upstairs to get MacKenzie’s something borrowed.

MacKenzie looks over at Chloe who comes back into the room with a black box.

“Here’s your something borrowed. Your brother bought this for me on our wedding day and I think it would go perfectly with your dress.” Chloe explains.

Inside the box is a beautiful, diamond, tennis bracelet. We all sigh, including the makeup artist and hair stylist. MacKenzie and I switch places, I’m getting my hair styled and MacKenzie is now getting her makeup done.

After we finish, Jaylinn presents MacKenzie’s something blue. MacKenzie smiles brightly at her as she hands her a blue piece of fabric. “I know you thought you lot Ryder’s blanket but don’t worry, you didn’t Hunter took it and it’s now back in Ryder’s crib.”

“He’s trying to kill me with these tears today.” MacKenzie says while wiping her cheeks.

MacKenzie, who now has her makeup and hair done, relaxes out on the balcony not that the sun is starting to set; talking to Elle and Sadie, Hunter’s mom. Chloe and Jaylinn are finishing up with their hair and makeup so I make my way upstairs and lay MacKenzie’s wedding dress across the bed, being careful not to wrinkle it. I dig in my small overnight bag for the gift that I get to give to her from Hunter. I place her shoes on the floor; take one more look at her dress and her gift that I’ve placed on it. My best friend is one lucky bitch. I feel the burn in my eyes. I wave my hands in front of my face so the tears don’t fall. I’m so happy for her, she deserves this.

Chloe calls my name, letting me know they are done. I tighten my robe and pad down the stairs to let MacKenzie know we need to get dressed. When I reach the bottom of the stairs I hear Jaylinn explaining to the photographer that MacKenzie is about to get dressed and if she wants to head upstairs to set up for photos she can.

I slide the balcony door open and Elle, Sadie and MacKenzie all look over at me. “It’s time.”

I see MacKenzie take a deep breath and both moms grab one of her hands and squeeze. She stands and we all follow her upstairs.

As soon as she reaches the top, we all see a light flash from the photographer. MacKenzie has her hand covering her mouth. We all pile in the room and it really is a sight to see. Her gorgeous dress is spread out on the bed with her veil lying next to it and her blue shoes, that are dyed to match our dresses, are placed on the floor along with the last and final gift.

MacKenzie looks at all of us and when her eyes land on me I wink.

“I love you girls. This day couldn’t have started out any better than it has.” She tells us.

MacKenzie moves forward to the bed and reaches for the small black box. She turns towards us and a single tears slips down her cheek.

I blink a few times, trying to keep my own tears away.

“Hunter said they remind him of your eyes and I have to agree with him.” I explain as she holds the box in her hand.

Hunter’s so sweet. I would never have guessed Hunter had all this sweetness to him; no wonder MacKenzie couldn’t ever give up on him.

MacKenzie flips the little black box open and her hand immediately flies to her mouth. We all step closer to look over her shoulder. Tucked inside the box is a pair of blue and white, diamond twist drop earrings. They shimmer and glitter every time she moves the box.

“Just like your eyes.” I whisper in her ear.

MacKenzie turns around and flings her arms around me, hugging me tightly. I see the moms hugging each other as well as Jaylinn and Chloe. MacKenzie sniffles a few times and I feel the wetness on my shoulder through my silk robe. She squeezes me even tighter, takes a deep breath and finally lets go.

I’m so glad that Hunter told MacKenzie that he wanted to handle these gifts. He’d heard her stressing about it one night while we were hanging out and talking about the wedding. I was a little worried that he was in a little over his head but he nailed it. He’s a keeper in my book.

“Ok ladies, no more tears. We need to get dressed and get our asses downstairs.” I tell them all.

As we all help MacKenzie get dressed, and then sort out ourselves, the photographer takes pictures. Now that we are all dressed we take group photos, mom photos and then a few of MacKenzie and me.

“Let’s go girls, I can’t wait anymore.” MacKenzie exclaims.

It’s show time.

10

Marry me

- Hunter -

It’s nearing the time and my nerves are starting to get the best of me. I’ve been anxiously going over my vows in my head all morning. The only thing keeping me completely calm is Ryder. I’ve stepped out of the groom’s suite a few times and can see that guests have started to arrive. They are spread out in little groups and are talking amongst themselves. Thankfully the sun is just starting to set and things are cooling off. CC and I are lucky to be having perfect weather, not unbearably hot, but nice and warm. The wind is picking up just a little; CC was worried about the wind being an issue. She didn’t want people to be worrying about their hair being messed up or the decorations falling over - she has candles that will be lit on the beach, just off the deck. I’ve been able to grant all her wishes for a perfect wedding but this is one thing I have no control over.

I’m sitting in my suite, feeding Ryder, when my mom comes in.

“Hi Sweetie, how are you holding up?” she asks me.

I smile at her; she looks beautiful all dressed up with makeup on. She looks younger, happier than I have seen her in a long time. “Good, just finishing up feeding Ryder so he should be pretty quiet for you.”

She walks over to us, bends and gives Ryder a little kiss on his forehead. “He looks so handsome, Hunter.” She looks at me and I see the tears pool in her eyes. “He looks so much like you when you were his age.”

I hear that a lot, but I see a lot of CC in him too.

“He looks handsome in his little suit, huh?” I pull Ryder’s bottle out and lift him to my shoulder so that I can burp him.

“So handsome,” She responds and the tears finally start to fall.

Standing up, I wrap my one arm around her and kiss her head. “I love you Mom.”

She sniffs and nods, still too choked up to speak. I hold her for a few more minutes until Ryder starts to fuss.

She reaches for Ryder. “Ok, give me my grandson and get out of here.” Mom holds him out in front of her and he kicks his legs like a mad man. “Look at you, Ryder, all dressed up just like your daddy.”

CC wanted him dressed just like us, tan suits, white button down shirts and our blue ties to match the girls.

I give them both a kiss on their heads. “Mason will walk you and Ryder down to your seats in a few minutes.”

I leave them in the suite and double check the dining room to make sure everything is perfect. I stop a few times to say hello to a couple of guys that I work with, a few friends and family members on my way out to the deck.

When I step outside I see a few familiar faces; Bentley, Zeke, Logan and to my surprise, Dominic. CC and I talked about Dominic when we were doing the guest list and she convinced me to allow him to attend. I agreed as long as there was no dancing, she agreed.

I shake hands with Bentley first, “Another one bites the dust, huh?”

All the guys start laughing. “Just wait red head; you’ll be in the same boat someday.”

I shake Zeke’s hand next. “Zeke,”

“Hunter, when you going to show your ugly face down in VA?” Zeke asks. “I know you want more work done.”

“We’ll all be making a trip soon, don’t worry about that.”

Logan shakes my hand, “Congrats man.”

“Thanks.”

Dominic is standing there, hands in his pockets and looking nervous. He should be.

Being the bigger guy I hold my hand out to him. He looks at it for a second and then slowly removes his hand from his pocket and shakes mine.

“She’s mine. Don’t forget it.” I say.

He nods. “Congrats.”

“Thanks.”

We all stand around and bullshit for a few minutes before I look around. All the blue and white lights are strung across the deck. The paper light things that CC wanted are up there as well. The DJ is setting up everything just off to the side. Perfect. Now down to the altar.

Everything starts to hit me when I see things all set up. It’s impressive to see that the hotel pulled off everything that CC wanted. She’s obsessed with that damn Pinterest website and wants everything to look like the pictures she showed them.

It’s all perfect for a May evening. All the white chairs with the baby blue bows on the back are set up in rows. The baby blue walkway that CC picked is spread out with white flowers scattered all over it. God only knows why she had to have them; they are only going to get messed up when people walk on them. The altar is up and enclosed with baby blue and white tulle, secured with huge starfish and flowers on each side.

I walk down the steps and off the deck; I stop where we have put a sign that asks everyone to take off their shoes. I step out of mine and slip my socks off. I stroll on the outside of where the chairs are placed so I don’t mess up the flowers. I want CC to see this just like I did.

I shake hands with Dylan, he’s marrying us today. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” The truth is I’ve been ready since the day she said yes.

The videographer comes over and gets me all wired up. Music starts playing in the background and our guests come to find their seats. Mason and Cooper walk a few people to their seats and then come towards me.

“You good?” Mason asks.

“Yeah. You?” I know this is going to be hard on him today. Last night he kept to himself, which Mason never does. He’s always the center of attention, the jokester. When I went to check on Ryder this morning I was surprised to see Mason sleeping in the rocker with him. We’ve talked about what’s up with him and Hailey a few times since CC and I got back together. He was going to ask her to move in with him, so when all that shit went down in the bar with Lily I was really surprised. I think there’s more to the story than he’s letting on, but he keeps saying, ‘don’t worry about it’. He’s covering for someone. I know he is; I just need to figure out who that person is. But today isn’t that day; today I’m marrying my best friend.

Mason nods. “I’m going to go get your mom and Ryder. See you in a few.”

Cooper shakes his head as he watches Mason walk away. I’m not sure if he knows what’s going on with his twin or not, but time will tell.

“The girls are all down here now.” Jackson tells me.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

Jackson and Cooper both reach out for our handshakes, and then they walk around the chairs and seat a few more guests before they go and wait for Jaylinn and Chloe.

The processional music starts; Chloe, Jackson and Alex are standing up on the deck. All of our friends and family turn, and then Chloe and Jackson, who are both holding Alex’s hands with the ring bearer pillow, start to walk down the aisle. When they are about half way to me, I see Cooper and Jaylinn continue after them. Chloe winks when she reaches me, I stick my hand out for a high five from Alex. Jackson nods and leads Alex to my left while Chloe goes right. Next up are Hailey and Mason. I have to admit they make a nice looking couple, I hope they can work things out between them. Hailey, I can tell, has the fakest smile on her face; Mason has no emotions on display. When Jaylinn reaches me she smiles and winks, and Cooper, just like Jackson, nods as they both take their places. Looking back down the aisle, I notice Hailey’s smile relaxes when she walks past a guy sitting next to her mom and I see Mason’s jaw clench. Interesting. Hailey whispers, “Hey handsome” when she reaches me, I wink back at her.

The music changes to The Wedding March and all our guests stand up.

I suck in a sharp breath, CC is standing before me. Damn, she is stunning; striking really. I never thought this day would actually happen with all that we’ve been through. I nearly lost her in the accident that my damn step-sister Brittany caused. I’ve kept the secret of my dad from her when I knew that I could have trusted her with it. But with all that we’ve been through I don’t think I would change anything about it. It’s our love story. It’s something that she can tell our grandchildren about when we grow old.

CC’s long, chocolate brown hair is all curled and half of it is tied back, by her grandmother’s pins that Elle gave to her this morning, I’m sure. Her wedding dress is breathtaking; it fits her body perfectly. I love all her curves that it shows off; they’re my favorite thing about her figure. As she steps closer, with her arm wrapped in her dad’s, I take a quick glance at him. He’s got a few tears falling, and CC is whispering to him. I’m sure she’s thanking him for being such an amazing dad and telling him how much she loves him. The normally unfazed-by-anything Andrew Cahill is in tears, and it’s all because of his incredible little girl. I wish I could have had a relationship with my dickbag of a dad but he was too self-centered to care about his family. Andrew is handing his little girl over to me today and that is something I’m not going to take lightly. I know deep down that MacKenzie will always be his little girl and I hope someday that I get that with a daughter of my own. I gaze back to CC; she’s got the same tears her dad does now, although she is smiling and laughing. I feel the burn in my eyes the closer she gets. Wow, I can’t believe this is really about to happen.

CC and her dad stop just before me, he places a kiss on her cheek and she places one on his. He turns to me and says, “Take care of her, son.”

“Always,” I hold out my hand to CC, she looks back at her dad one last time before letting go of his and taking mine. An overwhelming feeling of relaxation comes over me now that she has been handed over to me.

As Andrew takes a seat next to Elle, MacKenzie turns and hands her flowers over to Hailey. When she turns back I entwine CC’s fingers with mine. I look up at her, she mouths the words, ‘I love you’ to me. I mouth them back and squeeze her hand. Ryder lets out a high-pitched squeal and everyone chuckles. I glance over to Mom who has him propped up on her lap, watching us. CC and I both whisper over to Ryder that we love him too.

Dylan starts his greeting to our guests as our wedding day proceeds. I’m barely paying attention; I’m so lost in CC’s eyes. She’s incredible, perfect. My palms are sweating and I want to get this wedding done with so I can take a deep breath and relax knowing we’re officially a family now.

CC and I are whispering that we love each other over and over again. Every time I tell her how beautiful she is a new tear falls. She’s so self-conscious now; the accident and C-section did a number on her self-esteem.

My anxiety kicks up a notch; the moment I pour my heart into my vows is almost here. CC and I decided not to share them before the wedding so I feel a little extra pressure. My heart is pounding so loud. Dylan goes on for a few more minutes, talking about our wedding vows.

“You ready?” CC asks me

“Absolutely.”

She smiles and I ask, “You ready?”

“You better believe it.”

“Today, Hunter and MacKenzie have decided to write their own wedding vows.” Dylan informs everyone. He looks at CC and gives her the nod to begin.

CC takes a deep breath. “I promise to be your partner in crime,” I chuckle at the reference to my job, “And your biggest fan. I promise to support your dreams and respect our differences. I promise to laugh with you in good times and struggle with you in bad times.” Tears pour down her face; I reach up and wipe them away with my thumbs. I wink and smile at her. I’m not sure who is shaking more right now, her or me. She takes a shuddering breath and continues. “I will always be there. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years and all that life may bring us. I … I,” she struggles speaking with the tears. I whisper to her to take a deep breath. My heart skips a beat. “I could conquer the world with one hand as long as you are holding the other.” She gives me the most angelic face I’ve ever seen from her, and I know in this moment that she is my soul mate for life.

She squeezes my hand, giving me the signal that she is finished. The burn in my eyes is back. I’m the luckiest guy to have her standing before me.

I clear my throat, trying to push away the tears, “I promise to choose you every day, to love you always.” I hope she knows that I will always choose her first now, even if it means hurting her. “I will love you faithfully through the trying times, the easy and the hard. To laugh with you, cry with you, grow with you and create with you. You’ve already given me one life,” I look over to Ryder and then back to CC, I feel complete with them. She is still crying but smiling too. “Let’s create more and fill our home with laughter and love. As I have given you my hand to hold, I give you my life to keep.”

I look her intently in the eyes, “I love you.” I say, just for her ears.

Dylan asks for the rings. Jackson helps Alex out and hands him the pillow with our rings on it and gives him a little push towards us. He’s so handsome decked out in his matching suit and tie. He’s been really good, sitting at Jackson’s feet and playing in the sand. We were all thinking that Alex was going to steal our show with his little self.

Mason raises his hand and Alex gives him a high five and tells him good job. Mason unties the rings from the pillow and tells Alex to go stand back with his dad. Mason hands the rings over to Dylan. I notice Hailey shakes her head as if clearing her thoughts. CC looks at me and winks. I wonder if Mason is doing the same thing, both picturing themselves up here.

Dylan is going on about blessing the rings and then instructs, “Hunter, please place this ring on MacKenzie’s left hand and repeat after me.”

I can feel the finish line.

“MacKenzie, I give you this ring, as a symbol of my love, and my choice to share my life and dreams with you. I give you this ring, with the pledge to love you, today, tomorrow, and always.”

Dylan hands CC my ring and asks her to repeat after him.

“Hunter, I give you this ring, as a symbol of my love, and my choice to share my life and dreams with you. I give you this ring, with the pledge to love you, today, tomorrow, and always.”

A few more minutes and my best friend will finally be my wife. If he doesn’t hurry the hell up I’m going to say screw it and just kiss her. I can’t wait any longer. It’s been almost twenty-four hours since I had her lips on mine.

“MacKenzie and Hunter, you have committed yourselves to each other in marriage. Having pledged your faith and love to one another in the presence of God and these witnesses, by the exchange of your wedding vows and the giving and receiving of the rings.” Alright Dylan, enough, I want to kiss my wife. “It is with great joy and happiness, and by the power vested in me, that I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.”

I pull CC into my embrace; she slips her hands up my chest and places both her tiny hands on either side of my cheeks. I say, “I love you, wife.” While at the same time she says, “I love you, husband.”

I place a soft, gentle kiss on her lips. We never talked about our kiss so I wasn’t exactly sure how to do it. CC takes the lead, needing more; she licks the seam of my lips. We deepen the kiss and get lost in the moment, memorizing every single detail about our amazing day so far. It feels like our kiss is short but probably isn’t by the way all three of her brothers clear their throats.

We break apart and CC says, “I guess some things will never change.”

We both laugh. “Sucks they can’t do a damn thing about it now, wife.”

I offer my arm to my wife, my other half; she grabs it and we make our way down the aisle while our friends and family cheer and congratulate us.

My life is finally complete and I couldn’t be any happier. Well, except for what I have planned for us tonight. Just the thoughts of stripping her out of that dress are making me want to fake being sick so I can wrap my body around hers.

11

Easy to love you

- MacKenzie -

Our ceremony is over and I’ve got my prince charming. Our day is only half over and it couldn’t have been anymore magical. The sun is about halfway set, our guests are all having cocktails while my wedding party and I are having our pictures taken.

The photographer has us all out on the beach posing for different shots. We’ve taken some formal ones and funny ones too. Now that the formal pictures are taken with my brothers, we start the funny ones. I am being held up across their bodies.

Mason is holding me up by my shoulders, and I feel the need to start grilling him. “I saw you repeating the vows to Hailey.”

He looks surprised.

“Was she watching you?” I question him.

He doesn’t answer at first because the photographer is making us change position.

“Yeah.” He finally responds.

“Was she saying them back?” I probe.

He nods.

“Mase, talk to me.” I beg. He’s breaking my heart, I know he loves her. He worships the ground she walks on. I know my brother, he wouldn’t cheat on Hailey. He despises Lily so there has to be a reason why he was with her that night in the bar. I want to beat it out of him. I want to yell at him.

We change positions again, “I can’t Kenz.” He looks out over the ocean. “I want to, God I want too but it’s something I just can’t do right now.”

I place my hand on his shoulder and stand on my tip toes so I’m somewhat eye level with him, “I’m here when you’re ready. I don’t care what time or where I am.”

He looks at me and smirks.

“Well, just not until I’m back from my honeymoon.” I tell him.

Mason groans and I laugh.

“Everything will work out. Don’t worry that pretty little head of yours.” Then he kisses my cheek.

The photographer calls over Hunter and the girls while I stand aside with my brothers and watch.

I look on as Hunter bends down on one knee while Hailey sits on his other and Jaylinn and Chloe stand behind them and to the sides. The photographer snaps a few pictures and I see Hunter and Hailey start talking. I wonder if he’s questioning her like I did Mason. After our honeymoon I’m stepping in and calling a family meeting, I think to myself. We all promised to tell each other everything. No more secrets. It’s supposed to be us against the world.

The photographer dismisses Jackson, Chloe, Alex, Jaylinn and Cooper. Now it’s time for pictures with the bride, groom, best man and maid of honor.

The tension is making it feel awkward. We take a few just as the sun is setting behind the ocean, it’s beautiful. The sky is lit up pink, purple, orange and blue. The photographer places Hunter and I facing each other, hands held. Then he stands Hailey and Mason just behind us but to the side in the same position.

I hear Hailey say, “This is really beautiful.” And I couldn’t agree more.

Then I hear, but just barely, “so are you,” come from Mason. Hailey gasps and Hunter squeezes my hand, he heard it too. It’s the first time they have spoken to each other all day. I know Hailey would need alcohol to deal with this situation, but since it’s my wedding day she’s handling it fairly well. I think I would have run.

The photographer says she’s got all the shots she needs and tells us to go on ahead and join the rest of the party in the bridal suite. We walk into the suite; it’s our own little party. Everyone has champagne and they all cheer when we walk in. The group is talking about the wedding and how much fun the reception is going to be.

Hailey, Jaylinn and Chloe pull me aside and help me get my dress bustled. When we finish and join everyone else, I see Cooper and Hunter huddled in the corner talking softly to each other. I snake my arms around Hunter’s stomach, and he turns and pulls me in front of him. He kisses the side of my head. Cooper rolls his eyes.

Hunter and I laugh. “What are you two over here talking about?”

Cooper looks up to Hunter and he tells me, “Cooper is asking if we can change the song for the wedding party.”

I look to Cooper for an explanation. He huffs, “It’s a song that reminds Mason of Hailey. He doesn’t know that I know that. I heard him tell Hailey the other night when we were all at the bar.”

“Changed By You by Between The Trees.” We both say at the same time. Cooper’s eyes widen.

“She told me all about that night. I think it’s perfect.”

Hunter shifts just slightly so that we can see where both Mason and Hailey are. Mason is talking with Chloe and Jackson in one corner while Jaylinn and Hailey are in the other corner, chatting. Our family is divided and it’s killing me inside.

Hunter places another kiss to the side of my head and says, “I’ll go change it up.”

I turn in his arms and place a kiss on his lips. “Thank you, baby.”

Cooper and I walk over to Jaylinn and Hailey and start talking to them while Hunter sneaks away. A few minutes later he returns, winks at me and then says, “Let’s get this party started.”

The DJ announces the wedding party, Chloe, Jackson and Alex, followed by Cooper and Jaylinn and then Mason and Hailey. Our wedding song, Easy To Love You by Theory Of A Deadman, starts playing and the DJ announces us. Everyone is standing and cheering for us as we walk in hand in hand.

Hunter and I are dancing in the middle of the dance floor while our wedding party stands to the side. I have my fingers locked behind Hunter, while he has his arms tightly around my waist.

“Thank you for today. Everything is amazing and perfect.” I tell him.

He rests his forehead against mine. “Perfect, just like you.” He kisses me before he continues. “While you look stunning in this dress I can’t wait to strip you out of it later.” I feel my cheeks start to burn. “It’s all I can think about since you wouldn’t come home with me last night.” He pulls me a little closer to him and I feel his hardness between us.

I giggle. He’s in for a treat. Hailey and I had gone shopping for the lingerie under my dress; she even talked me into getting waxed. While it hurt like hell, I’m glad I did it. The look on his face is going to be priceless. “You’re in for a surprise.”

“I can’t wait.” He says, almost breathless.

We continue our dance, telling each other how much we love each other. Hunter’s mom sneaks up on the dance floor and hands Ryder over to us. The three of us wrapped in each other’s arms finishes up the dance as the DJ asks the wedding party to join us as he switches the song over to, Changed By You. Our friends and family have no idea what we secretly did for Mason and Hailey as the song is fitting for us as well.

Cooper and Jaylinn look over to us and then over to Mason and Hailey, who are barely holding on to each other. Hailey looks up at me and I give her a look that says, “Pretend for me.” She rolls her eyes and holds on to Mason tighter. I see Mason’s shoulders relax and then he wraps his arms around Hailey and rests the side of his head against hers so his mouth is just near her ear. As they are dancing Mason is now facing our direction. I glance up to Hunter who lifts his chin to Mason. I give Ryder a little kiss on his cheek while his head rests on Hunter’s shoulder.

Everything is perfect now, if only it would stay this way. Hunter and I sway back and forth and I see Hailey just over Hunter’s shoulder. She has tears streaming down her face.

I look up to Hunter who smiles and starts singing the song to me. It’s about being tongue tied and trying to express what the heart needs to say, changes that happen and the more that happens, the closer you become, and melting fears away. Being blessed and being the one, forever.

Now it’s my turn to cry. This song really is perfect for all of us, especially for Mason and Hailey. I don’t think Hailey has a clue about how much she really has changed Mason.

I steal a quick glance over at Cooper and he’s singing to Jaylinn, and Jackson is singing it to Chloe.

The song wraps up and there is barely a dry eye in the place. Hunter fully grabs Ryder in his arms and walks towards his mom and his aunt and uncles sitting at the table just off the dance floor. I follow behind them but catch Hailey running off in the direction of the bathrooms.

I place my hand on Hunter’s back, he turns and I tell him, “I’ll be right back.”

He smiles and says, “Love you.”

I follow after Hailey but swing past the bar first. I need my best friend to get her shit straight for the rest of the wedding. I want her to have a good time, not painful memories. We will remember this day forever. I take the two glasses of sex on the beach and stroll over to find Hailey. Just as I am about to open the bathroom door I hear Hailey’s laugh. I stop and listen for a second.

“I promise, no pranks. Well at least for a week.” I recognized that voice as Bentley’s.

“Okay. Deal.” Hailey says.

I push the door open and walk in. Bentley and Zeke are sitting on the couch in the bathroom in the ladies’ room. When they notice me both of their eyes go wide.

“Having a party without me?” I ask them. “In the bathroom nonetheless.”

“Of course not, beautiful.” Bentley replies.

“Benny, you know I don’t like liars.” I joke around with him.

“Hey now, Sweetie, you know it’s not a party unless the two of you are together.” Zeke says while waggling his eyebrows.

“Pig,” Hailey laughs.

I look over at my best friend, her eyes are all red and puffy but she’s beautiful anyway. I take a few steps over to her and hand her the drink I got for her.

“God I love you. For a minute there I thought you were two fisting it.” Hailey says while taking the glass out of my hand.

“Would I ever leave you hanging like that?” I kid around with Hailey.

“Well our job is done here. Save me a dance, hot stuff?” Bentley asks.

“Of course.”

I catch both Bentley and Zeke wink at Hailey as they leave.

“Going on a trip?” I probe.

She shrugs her shoulders at me, “Maybe, still deciding.”

We are both quiet for a few minutes. It’s a little uncomfortable and I feel the need to say something to fix it.

“You know I love you right?” I say with a smirk on my face.

“Like I’d ever give you a choice.” Hailey quips back.

“I need you to do me one favor to make this wedding of mine even better.”

She raises her eyebrows at. “What’s that?”

“Just let go of your shit with Mason. Just for the rest of the night. For me, please.” I beg.

She stares at me like I just asked her to cut off her right arm. Finally she says, “Fine, but the second you leave, things are going back to the way they were. Let me introduce you to Cole and then we can go and grab another drink. I need to cool off a little after your brother tried to kill me with that song.”

I fling my arms around her tiny little body, “Thanks Hails.”

As we walk out of the bathroom we almost run into someone I don’t recognize. Hailey grabs my arm. “Kenz, I want you to meet Cole.”

So this is Hailey’s date. “Nice to meet you, Cole.”

“Nice to meet you too, and congratulations.” Cole says.

Someone taps me on the arm; I turn and look, Mason. Shit, this is going to be weird. “You may want to go rescue your husband; the twins talked him into getting drinks. You know how they get.”

Oh hell. I look over and sure enough my twin cousins, Nicole and Laura, have Hunter between them with what looks to be about six shots between the three of them.

“Go.” Hailey says when she sees my face.

I hear Mason chuckling as I walk away. Asshole. He could have helped Hunter out there.

I finally steal my husband away from my cousins and we take our seats at the head of the table as dinner is being served. Mason makes his best man speech and Hailey says a few words as well.

After everyone finishes with dinner we make our way back out on the deck. The DJ is playing all the latest hits and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. It’s so good seeing all my family that I don’t get to see often enough. Hailey is dancing all crazy with Ryder snuggled close, giggling away, and poor Cole is trying to keep up. If Hailey wasn’t so hung up on my brother then she and Cole would make a really cute couple. The music changes to I Will Be There by Art Of Dying. I make a bee-line directly to Hailey, wanting to steal a slow song with my little monkey.

I see Mason watching Hailey just off to the side of the bar that’s closest to the dance floor. I reach Hailey and hold my arms out. “You’re stealing my date away?” she whines.

Ryder gets all excited when he sees me, arms and legs flailing all over. “Yes, give me my baby boy.” Ryder practically leaps out of Hailey’s hands.

“I think someone wants to dance with your Aunt Hailey, huh Ryder?” I croon to him while looking over at Mason who smiles at us.

Hailey looks all around, purposely avoiding Mason. “What are you talking about? Cole is right here.” she says dumbfound.

Cole scratches the back of his head, “Uh, I think I’m gonna ask your mom if she wants to dance. She looks a little lonely over there.”

Cole meets my eye and I silently thank him. Then he turns on his heel to go and grab Ms. Taylor.

As soon as Cole turns away Mason quickly walks up to us and whispers, “me.” into Hailey’s ear.

Hailey jumps and her left hand flies to hold her chest, “Damn it, Mase, you scared the hell out of me.”

Mason pulls Hailey close and she wraps her arms around his neck. I spin around with Ryder in my arms and leave them to the dance.

“You gonna help me get them back together right monkey?” I say to Ryder who now has my finger in his mouth.

“His teeth bothering him?” My mom asks as she cuts into our dance.

Mom takes Ryder out of my hands and I slip into Jackson’s arms.

“I didn’t see you standing there.” I tell him.

“I know. I finally saw my opening. You’re a pretty popular girl today.” He says, smiling at me.

“That’s ‘cause I got the dance moves.” I joke with him.

“I’m proud of you, Kenz. I know I don’t tell you that often but I am.” I gaze up at my big brother. My heart skips a beat. Jackson and I haven’t ever really been that close, the age difference affects us. Plus he’s been wrapped up in Chloe for so long, I never bonded with him like I did the twins.

“Thanks Jackson. I’m trying. I’ve got a pretty good teacher as a brother you know.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup.”

We dance for a few more minutes while the song wraps up. Chloe asks to dance with her husband and before I even have a chance to look around for Hunter to take his place, Cooper sweeps me away.

“I don’t think you should have invited so many people.” Cooper says.

“And why’s that? I thought Hunter and I did fairly well. We only invited family and our closest friends. Could you have pictured it if we invited everyone we wanted?”

“I’m just kidding with you, Kenz. I’m just bustin’ your balls ‘cause I keep trying to catch a dance with you.” He laughs.

I push my hair off my shoulder, “What can I say, everyone loves me.”

“We sure do.” He winks at me.

“So what’s up with Mase?” I ask. Cooper goes tense.

We sway past mom and Ryder and I blow my baby boy a kiss.

He’s staring over my shoulder like he’s a million miles away. “I don’t know.”

“Coop …”

“I don’t, Kenz. He’ll talk to us when he’s ready. You know Mase, he has to do everything his way.” Cooper reminds me.

“I know, but I hate that he’s so stubborn.” I complain.

“You should talk.” He chuckles. And the mood changes light again.

I roll my eyes, “Shut up.”

“You look beautiful, Kenz.”

I smile at him; Cooper’s always been the laid back brother. He’s great with the ladies, always has been. I wish him and Jaylinn would get their shit together. Those two are next on my list to figure out.

“Where’s Jaylinn?”

“Dancing with your husband.” He answers with a nod of his head.

The DJ makes an announcement for the father of the bride and the bride to please make our way to the dance floor. Cooper kisses my forehead and heads back to his seat.

The floor is just about empty when I see my dad. I Loved Her First by Heartland starts playing and the tears burn my eyes.

“Hey baby girl.” Dad says while he places a hand on my back and holds my right hand.

“Hey Daddy.” I’m trying to hold the tears back, I really am.

“You look like a princess today.”

The dam breaks and the tears fall. I look over my dad’s shoulder, trying to calm myself down. The whole room is watching us. I spot Hunter holding Ryder just off to the side, he waves Ryder’s little hand at me.

I laugh. “Thanks Dad. You don’t look so bad yourself. You know, for being a grandpa.”

“Such a smart ass.” He laughs. “Your mom and I are really proud of you MacKenzie. You’ve grown up to be such a great young woman and a wonderful mom to Ryder. You really stepped up.”

“Oh Dad,” I manage to choke out.

“Just because I gave you away today, it doesn’t mean you’re not my baby girl anymore. I’m always going to be here, whenever you need me.”

I take a few moments to compose myself, “I love you Daddy, more than you’ll ever know.”

The song comes to an end as my dad says, “I love you too baby girl.” He kisses me on the cheek and I hear him sniffle.

The song ends and the DJ starts playing Cupid Shuffle by Cupid. I’m so happy for the upbeat song; I think I’ve cried enough for one day. Mason is sitting at the table looking miserable. I dance over to him and force him onto the dance floor. He knows better than to say no to me today.

Mason stands to the side while I dance and he looks on, laughing at me and Aunt Betty. Our Aunt Betty is in her seventies, she’s a trip to hang out with. You would never know she was that old by the moves she has.

When the song ends, I link my arm with Mason’s and pull him down to the beach with me. I’m all sweaty from dancing and need some fresh air.

“Wow, look at it out here. I love the way the beach is lit up with these candles.”

Mason doesn’t reply, he just sighs loudly.

“You hanging in there?”

He looks at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. “You let her bring that Cole guy?”

I knew he was going to ask that. “Mase, what choice did I have? She asked, I couldn’t exactly tell her no.”

He sighs again, “I know.” He digs his feet in the sand.

We stand there for a few minutes; the reception carrying on behind us, the ocean crashing in front of us.

“Don’t make me regret what I’m about to tell you.” I say to Mason.

He looks over to me and nods.

“Hailey is taking care of Ryder from Sunday until Tuesday at my house. If you can find the time in your busy ass schedule, stop over there.”

“Is he going to be there?” Mason questions.

“Cole?”

He nods.

“No. It’s not like that with them, Mase. Hailey isn’t ready to move on, she’s still heartbroken. I’m hoping that this time I’m giving you guys to ‘play house’ will help. I know you had plans to move her in with you.”

He snaps his head over to me.

“Remember, no more secrets between Hunter and me.” I wink.

He laughs, “This ought to be good.”

I get chills from the mental images flashing around in my head. “No, we don’t talk about that shit. I don’t ever want to know.”

We both laugh.

I see a couple standing up down near the ocean, it takes me a minute to figure out who it is. Once the wind picks up and they walk a little closer to one of the candles I can tell its Hailey and Cole. Hailey turns towards the ocean again while Cole keeps walking. I tap Mason with my elbow and nod in her direction. Mason stares at her with a painful expression on his face. Cole passes by us and I give him a little wave.

I lean over and kiss my brother on the cheek, “Go talk to her. I’m going to go get Hunter and get out of here.”

Mason groans, “I didn’t really need to hear that last part, Kenz.”

I laugh as I start to walk away. “Try to keep her from walking in on us huh?”

He shakes his head and wanders over to Hailey. As I walk back up on the deck Hunter swoops in and wraps me in his arms.

“There you are, baby.”

I wrap my arms around his waist, “You ready to get out of here soon?”

“Hell yes.” He moans in my ear.

Hunter and I walk over to the DJ and ask him to play one last song for us since we are heading out when it’s over.

The Time Of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes starts playing. Hunter and I start singing it to each other, laughing and carrying on. Damn, I love him with everything that I am. He’s so handsome when he isn’t worrying about the rest of world.

He pulls me close to him. Our fingers entwined and hands down to our sides, chest to chest, and our noses just about touch. He stares into my eyes and it makes me weak in the knees. “I’ve got one last little gift for you.”

“Yeah?” I say breathlessly.

He lets go of my right hand and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a little blue Tiffany’s box with a white bow.

“Hunter, I think you’ve given me everything a girl could possibly need. You didn’t need to do anything else.” I say as I reach with shaky hands to take the box.

“I didn’t buy this recently.” He says as I slip off the bow.

When I take off the top of the box, nestled inside is a diamond encrusted key. I look up at him, a bit confused.

Hunter kisses me. “It’s the key for the locket I gave you a two Christmases ago. I told you it had a key and I would give it to you when I was ready.” He kisses my lips again and a tear slips down my cheek. “I’m ready CC.”

I put the lid back on and slide my arms around his neck, “I love you. I love you so much that sometimes I feel like this is all a dream.”

Hunter wraps me tightly in his arms and lifts me up off the ground. “Then is a dream that I don’t want to wake up from.”

I kiss him until we are both breathless.

After the song ends, Hunter and I walk around and say our goodbyes to our friends and family. We tell a few of my cousins we will get together soon and we promise to stop down to see Bentley and Zeke when we get back. I thank Logan for coming and tell him we’ll stop and see him when we visit Bentley and Zeke. I smile over at Dominic and thank him for coming as well. He barely meets my eyes when he congratulates us again.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into letting him come.” Hunter says as we make our way over to Mom, Dad, Hunter’s mom and Ryder.

I pat him on the stomach, “Hey, if it wasn’t for him screwing up then we may not be together.”

Hunter stops walking. “I was coming after you one way or another, CC. It just took me a little too long to realize that I couldn’t live without you.”

I stand up on my tip toes and kiss him, long and hard.

“I love you so damn much, baby.” He says as he rests his forehead on mine.

“And I love you too.”

We say goodbyes to our parents and make plans to meet for breakfast so that we can say our goodbyes to Ryder before we leave for our honeymoon.

“Let’s go, Mrs. McCormick.” Hunter says when I finally pry myself away from Ryder. “We’ve got a honeymoon suite calling our name and I plan on putting that room to good use.” He whispers in my ear while we wait for the elevator.

“Lead the way, Mr. McCormick.”

It’s an incredible ending to an incredible day. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

12

Stubborn love

- Hailey -

“Hey pretty girl,” Cole says as he places his hands on my shoulders. “You want to go get some air with me?”

I look over my shoulder at him and he smiles. I would be so easy to fall in love with Cole. A fresh start, something I think I need. He doesn’t know about my past, doesn’t know what makes me tick, and doesn’t know about my insecurities. It’s really a shame that we both can’t give this a try; honestly I’m not sure it would be fair to either of us at this point in our lives but it sure would be nice if we could.

I’d just sat down for the first time all night. I’ve been trying to avoid being alone so that Mason doesn’t have the chance to talk to me while we are supposed to be enjoying MacKenzie’s wedding. So far the wedding has gone off without a hitch. All her family is great and they’ve taken the time to talk to me throughout the day. Even her crazy as hell twin cousins, those two are a trip. I’d like to go out with them one night to see how they really act when no one is breathing down their necks to behave.

“Sure.” I stand and say to my mom, “I’ll be back in a few and then we can call it a night. You got all checked into the room, right?”

I booked two rooms at the hotel for tonight, one for mom and a double for Cole and I, because I wasn’t sure how the night was going to go, plus it’s pretty late and I didn’t want Cole, Mom and I driving home this late, especially with having a few drinks.

“Yeah, Cole and I checked in before the ceremony.”

“Great. I’ll come grab you when we come back in and then we’ll say goodnight to Hunter and MacKenzie.” I tell her.

Cole holds out his hand for me, I place mine in his and he leads the way down to the ocean. It’s a perfect night. The wind is blowing just a bit; it’s chilly but feels nice against my sweaty skin.

“How you holding up?” Cole asks as he slips off his suit jacket, places it down on the sand and then sits on it, leaving just enough room for me to join him.

I slip my heels off and take a seat. “It’s hard, you know? Being this close to him but being a million miles away too.”

“He loves you.” Cole states like he’s known Mason all his life.

“But not enough to talk to me about what I saw that night, Cole.” I quip back.

Cole shrugs. “Maybe you need to hear him out, Hailey. Whatever happened might not have been right but there is always a reason for everything.” Cole turns his head and stares at the crashing waves in front of us.

“Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

“Maybe I am.” He answers, still staring straight ahead.

Cole and I sit like this for a while, both lost in our own thoughts. I get the chills as the wind picks up and brings a spray of ocean water with it. Cole reaches over and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“You ready to go say goodnight?” Cole asks.

I stand up and he follows. “Give me a few more minutes?” I ask. Cole grabs his jacket and shakes the sand from it. I’m sure he’s probably itching to get to his room to change and relax. “Go grab my mom and I’ll meet you inside.”

Cole pulls me into his strong arms and places a little kiss on the side of my head. “Talk to him, pretty girl. Trust me, it’s not every day you see the kind of love that Mason has for you.”

His hands slowly start to fall down my arms, he grabs my hands in his and squeezes just a little before he lets go and a single tear drops from my eye.

Cole starts to walk away, leaving me standing here looking out of the ocean, when he calls my name, “Hailey,” I turn. His face is lit up by one of the candles that are spread out all over the sand. “Trust me okay? I know what I’m talking about.” He just gave me a little piece of his past. I know that must have been hard for him to do.

“Alright, Flower boy, I’m trusting you.” I say.

Cole turns around and makes his way back up to the reception. As I watch him walk away I see MacKenzie, and I think it’s Mason with her, but it could be Cooper too; they’re standing just off the deck. I turn back around and take a seat next to where I left my shoes.

It’s so peaceful sitting here. I wish I could bottle up this feeling and take it with me everywhere. Everyone always thinks of me as the party girl who knows how to have a good time. While I must admit I live up to that reputation most of the time, I don’t always want to. Acting that way is my coping mechanism.

A big wave crashes and the water rushes up and almost meets my toes before it rushes back. This makes me think back on the first time Mason and I got really close.

This was the first time I had seen my dad in months. He knocked on the door saying he needed to talk to Mom. I told him she was at work and he’d have to come back after seven when she was home but he didn’t want to hear it. He pushed the door open, causing me to stumble back. He walked into the kitchen grabbed a beer that was left in there from before he moved out and made himself at home in the living room. I walked into the room to grab my cell phone so I could get the hell out of here, I should have known better.

“You happy that your mom and I split?” he slurs.

I tried I ignore him as I picked up the phone and turned around to leave but he kicked his foot up on the coffee table blocking my path. “I’m talking to you.” He yelled.

I flinched. I gripped the phone tighter in my hand. “No.” I know that if I had said yes things would have been worse for me.

“It’s all your fault you little bitch. Our life was perfect until you came into it.” Dad said as the alcohol on his breath hit me.

“I’m sorry.” I cried. What did he want me to do? Kill myself? Run away?

“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” He didn’t move his feet so I tried to climb over but he raised his leg and caused me to trip. I wasn’t expecting him to do that so I wasn’t prepared to have my hands out to break my fall. When I fell I hit the end of the coffee table on my forehead.

My dad quickly moved his feet. “Oops, sorry about that.”

He didn’t make a move to help me up or anything. I laid there for a second with my eyes squeezed shut. The pain was horrible. The pulsing on my forehead brought on an immediate headache. I blinked a few times before trying to get my bearings. I grabbed for my cell again but when I did a drop of blood hit the carpet. I reached up to where I’d hit my head, and when I pulled my hand away it was covered with blood. I took off, running for the bathroom.

I ran past Tara in the hallway and pushed her out of my way. “Watch where you’re going.”

I slammed the bathroom door shut and looked in the mirror. There was a gash on my forehead that was probably going to need stitches but there was no way I was going to the hospital.

I grabbed my phone and called the only person I knew who could help me. MacKenzie was down at the shore with her family but I knew Jackson didn’t go down until late Friday night since he had to work.

“MacKenzie,” I cried into the phone.

“Hailey? What’s the matter? Are you ok?” MacKenzie asked with concern in her voice.

“Can you please have Jackson pick me up and take me to the shore with you?” I managed to croak out.

“Um, what time is it?” I heard her shuffling some things around. “He should just be getting done at work. I’ll give him a call and tell him to swing by and pick you up.”

“Thank you.”

I looked at myself in the mirror before reaching for the Band-Aids. I cleaned the gash up the best I could but it just kept bleeding. I finally gave up trying to get it to stop. I grabbed some gauze, medical tape and the roll of paper towels that Mom always kept in the bathroom and ran across the hall to my room. I threw it all in my overnight bag along with some clothes. I didn’t even know if anything matched and I really didn’t care, right then I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I heard Jackson beep his horn. I grabbed my bags and darted out of the house as quickly as possible.

Jackson reached over and opened the door for me, “Damn Hails, you ok?”

“Just drive.” I took my first deep breath since Dad forced his way into the house.

When we arrived at the Cahill’s shore house a few hours later I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Jackson grabbed my bags as I still held the gauze to my head. The bleeding had just about stopped but still leaked a little.

Elle, MacKenzie and Mason were sitting at the kitchen table when we walked in. Great! I was hoping to sneak in and only have to deal with MacKenzie.

Mason stood up so fast his chair fell back, “What the hell happened to you?” he said.

I lowered the gauze, MacKenzie and Elle gasped. When I looked back up Mason had his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“I’ll be fine.” I would be. I’d probably just have a scar.

“What happened?” Mason asked again.

“My dad,” I got out before I started crying. “I tried to step over his feet but he lifted them and tripped me. I didn’t put my hands out and hit the corner of the table.”

Elle walked over to me, grabbed my hand and walked me to the bathroom. She helped me get the gash all cleaned up and told me I should get stitches; I told her I wouldn’t go. She found some butterfly stitches and closed the gash as best she could. I looked down at my shirt and noticed all the blood. I guess walking into the house the way that I did made it look a lot worse than it really was. This is just what I wanted for my sixteenth birthday. I’d just have to have MacKenzie help me cover it with make-up before the party that she was throwing for me.

Mason walked into the bathroom holding out one of his old baseball t-shirts and a pair of MacKenzie’s shorts.

“I’m guessing you didn’t pack any to sleep in. I have a bunch of t-shirts here.” Mason said as I grabbed the clothes from him.

“Take a shower, sweetie, then try and get some sleep.” Elle said. She threw all the trash away, washed her hands then kissed my forehead and walked out. Mason stood there for a second longer; he looked like he wanted to hold me, but then turned and shut the door behind him.

I took a quick shower, slipped the shorts on and then pulled Mason’s T-shirt over my head. I brought it up to my nose and inhaled, it smelled just like Mason. He smelled like soap and then sun with that slight dirt smell from years of playing baseball. I towel dried my hair and threw it up on the top of my head.

When I opened the bathroom door, Mason was sitting just outside on the floor. “Mase?”

He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes. I glanced down the hall and didn’t see anyone, all the doors were shut and the light in the hallway was off. “You ok?” he asked.

I nodded. “I’ll be fine, just a little cut.”

Mason stood up. I took a step back; my back hits the closed bathroom door. The coldness from the door hitting my warm back caused me to get the chills. Mason took a step closer and ever so gently kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry.” He whispered before walking away and leaving me standing there.

I hate my dad, I’ve always tried to be the perfect daughter but no matter what I did it didn’t matter. I don’t fit into my family; I’m the outcast, the black sheep. My dad should be the one saying he’s sorry, not Mason.

I was so angry; I knew I would never fall asleep. I walked over to MacKenzie’s door, dropped my blood stained clothes and shoes and made my way to the only place I felt at peace.

It’s was the middle of summer so when I took a seat on the towel in front of the ocean I was still warm. The waves were so close, so loud. They were angry which was exactly how I felt. I was pissed off at the world. Sometimes I wished I had the courage to walk out there and just let myself float away; have the waves crash over my body and carry me away into the darkness. Then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t feel like no one wanted me.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t feel Mason come up behind me and wrap his body around mine. “Hey.” He said as he pulled me back against his toned, hard, chest.

“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t hear you come down.” I told him as I snuggled a little closer to him.

“I’m sorry your dad is such an asshole, Hails. You don’t deserve this.” Mason said in my ear.

I sat up and turned around so was sitting on my knees between his legs. I put my hands on either side of his face, “You have no reason to be sorry, Mason. You didn’t do any of this.” A tear slipped down my cheek.

He wiped it away with his thumb. I dropped my hands and placed them on his knees as he pulled my face closer to his. I felt his hot, minty breath against my face. Mason and I hadn’t kissed since that one time when I was twelve so I was a little unsure of what was happening. Just as I thought he was about to kiss me on the lips he lifted his head and kissed me on my gash.

I winced from the slight pressure of his lips against it. I started to pull away, feeling silly for thinking that Mason would try to kiss me, but he wouldn’t let me go. He placed a kiss on my temple then another just below my ear, then my jaw, then the corner of my mouth. Mason pulled back and looked at me. His eyes remind me of the stormy ocean, just another reason why I liked him so much.

“I’m going to kiss you.” Mason told me. “If you don’t want me to you have to tell me now.”

I don’t answer because I want Mason. I’ve wanted to kiss him again since the first time all those years ago.

He leaned in and kissed me on the lips, then gently nips at my bottom lip. My stomach clinched and my palms started to sweat. I licked the seam of Mason’s lips; wanting access. I pulled myself closer to him but there wasn’t any room between us now. Mason grabbed the back of my right thigh and pulled it so it was resting on the side of his hip. Then he did the same thing to my left thigh, and I was now straddling him. When our tongues collided the kiss turned desperate. Our teeth crashed together. I grabbed the back of Mason’s head and gripped his hair. He wrapped his arms around my waist and before I even knew what was happening I was pinned underneath him.

My panties were wet, I was so turned on. I’d never felt like that before. I slid my legs around Mason’s waist, anchoring him to me. Mason’s right hand was running up and down my body while his left arm was holding him up. He reached the end of my shirt and slid his hand up. His fingers touched my stomach and my hips lifted up. I needed to relieve some of the pressure between my legs. Mason groaned into my mouth and pushed down with his hips. I moaned this time. Mason broke the kiss as he lifted his upper body so that he could push my shirt up. Since I was going to bed, I hadn’t bothered to put a bra back on. His fingers brushed against the bottom of my left breast and I sucked in a deep breath. No one had ever touched me there before and I wasn’t sure what to expect with Mason.

My nipple was already pebbled so as his hand slid over it, it puckered even more. “Damn Hails.” Mason said. He dipped his head down and pulled my left nipple into his mouth. It felt amazing and I never wanted him to stop. He lightly bit down and my back arched in an attempt to get closer. “You like that?”

“Mmmhmm.” Mason repeated the same movements on the other side while I ran my finger nails up and down his back.

He kissed a path to my lips. He was thrusting exactly where I needed him the most but then started to roll off of me. I started to panic, thinking he was going to pull away since things started getting hot and heavy between us.

“Relax.” Mason whispered.

“I just don’t want you to pull away. I need you Mason.” And it was true, I needed Mason more than I ever thought possible. Mason made me feel safe; made me feel loved, special.

He kissed me again as he pulled my shirt down. His fingertips dipped into the waist band of the shorts I had on.

“Has anyone ever touched you here, Hails?” Mason asked.

The butterflies were so bad in my stomach that I started shaking. My heart was racing. I wasn’t sure I was able to talk so I shook my head no.

He started to remove his fingers but I stopped him. “Please Mase.” I begged. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was begging for because I’d never felt like this with anyone.

“I shouldn’t, Hailey.”

“Says who?” I asked.

Mason chuckled.

My cheeks burned.

“Mason, if you don’t touch me I’m not sure what I’m going to do but it’s not going to be pretty.”

He laughed a deep belly laugh.

“Relax. I’ll take care of you.”

Mason caressed his hand down between my legs and started rubbing in just the right spot. I wanted to clamp my legs shut but I wasn’t sure I could. He started sucking and nipping at my neck. The pull in my lower stomach was so strong I felt like I was about to blast off. His fingers started to slow down and then eventually stop. He didn’t remove his hands but he looked deep into my eyes. Mason slipped a finger inside me but he didn’t move it, he was letting me get used to the feeling. Once I felt comfortable and couldn’t take it anymore I pushed my hips up, silently telling him to move his finger. He pulled almost all the way out then slid it back in until his knuckles pressed up against my clit. I cried out from the feeling. He pumped in and out a few more times.

“Come Hailey.” Mason told me as he crashed his lips down to mine just before I felt the first wave crash over me. I felt like I was floating from the intense release that Mason brought on. Then another crash came but this one was a little colder. As I came back down from my high, Mason was laughing. I felt a mortified by what had just happened. All these things were floating around in my head. Did I do something wrong? Was I supposed to touch Mason? Was it supposed to feel as good as it did? I tried sitting up so I could run back into the house when I was suddenly hit with another crash of something cold. Then I realized what Mason was laughing at. We were so caught up in each other that we didn’t realize that the tide was as close as it was.

Unexpectedly, I’m brought back to reality feeling over heated. I notice that I am now sitting between someone’s legs. I’m sure that someone is Mason. A wave comes so close that I have to bring my legs up to my chest to keep it from touching me. Doing this pushes me a little closer into Mason. His strong arms wrap around me and I tense. It feels so good but at the same time feels so wrong.

“Relax.” Mason whispers.

I’m trying to relax, I really am but I can’t stop the sudden memory flashes of Lily’s lipstick smeared across her face. What if she had just given Mason a blow job in the bathroom and I caught them? That would explain the deer in headlights expression he had.

Mason lifts my body with ease and sits me on his left leg so that I am half facing him. “You look beautiful, like the princess you really are. I’m sorry Hailey, so sorry.”

I let myself live in the moment, I need to feel Mason. I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze tight. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me so I’m flush up against his upper body. I hear him take a deep breath then feel it on me as he lets it out.

“God I’m so sorry.” He says into my neck.

I sit back so I can look into Mason’s beautiful, stormy eyes. “I need you to tell me what happened, Mason. You can fix all this but I just need the truth. My heart tells me you didn’t do anything with her but I can’t stop what I saw.”

Mason rests his forehead against mine. “I will Hailey, I promise. I will tell you everything, just give me a few days to get to the bottom of it first.”

“A few days Mase, that’s it. A few.” Mason lets out a long, minty breath.

“I will tell you everything and I will never do this to us again. I’m tired of all this, Hailey.” Mason tells me before he lifts me so that he can stand up. He brushes the sand off his ass and then helps me up. While I wipe the sand off the back of my legs and Mason grabs my shoes. He grabs my hand with his and then we walk back up to the reception.

Mason stops me before I take a step up to the deck, “Tell your band boy I’m coming after my girl.” He says with a smirk on his face.

I smile the first real smile all day long. “You make it so hard to love you, Mason Cahill.” I tell him as I shake my head.

“I know, but I don’t mean it too.” He says.

I let go of his hand and start walking away so I can find Cole and my mom.

“Hailey!” Mason yells.

I look back and raise my eyebrows, surprised by his sudden outburst.

Mason looks around, noticing the attention that he caused by yelling my name. When his eyes land back on me, he mouths, “I love you.”

It takes me a second to figure out how to respond so I do what he does to me when he is up on the mound when he’s pitching. I wink twice at him.

He seems happy with that response. I turn around and Cole and Mom are standing there, waiting for me at the table.

“Ready to get out of here?” I ask them.

“Yeah I’m exhausted.” Mom says.

“Let me go say goodbye to MacKenzie and Hunter and we can go.”

“Um, that’s going to be a little hard. They already left.” Cole tells me.

I laugh and shake my head, of course they would cut out of their wedding early.

“Well I guess I’ll see them at breakfast tomorrow then.”

13

My kind of crazy

- Mason -

Cooper and I had to get up at the crack of dawn this morning because we have a game this afternoon. Luckily I don’t have to pitch again until Wednesday so I have it pretty easy today. I’m a little hung over since I drank more than I should have at the wedding last night. We pulled up to the Lakewood Stadium with about ten minutes to spare, which is a lot better than I had been doing lately. I’m trying to turn my shit around and stop pissing coach off. I’m done throwing myself a pity party.

Warm-ups are finishing up. Cooper is excited for today’s game against Greensboro. Zack O’Neil is pitching today. Zack has one hell of an arm on him. He threw a slider at Chris, our catcher, and it was fucking perfect.

I have plans for tonight after the game so I am impatiently waiting for it to be over. It feels like the innings are never going to end. I’m kind of glad I’m not pitching today; my head isn’t quite in the game. All I can think about is the way Hailey felt in arms last night. I try to pay attention to the guys and the game but my mind keeps wandering back to when I first got my street bike and took Hailey for a ride on it.

MacKenzie was throwing a sweet sixteenth birthday party for Hailey, the same weekend I was buying my Suzuki GSXR. I had saved all my hard earned money that I got from working with my uncle over the summers and on the weekends. I, along with Hunter and Cooper, took our road test for our motorcycle licenses a few weeks ago so everything was set. MacKenzie made me promise before I left that I would be back before the party started. She was growing used to the idea of Hailey and I being really good friends. Hailey liked that I protected her, just as I always did with MacKenzie. I just wished I could also protect her from her screwed up family.

Cooper, Hunter and I all headed out to the Suzuki dealership early that afternoon so we would be back in time for the party. Once I laid my eyes on my bike I knew I had to have it. I fell in love. It was a Suzuki GSXR 750, all black and chrome, fast and loud, just the way I wanted it. I test drove it and everything felt perfect, I was sold. Only then did I realize my problem; there was no way we were making it back to the party in time. Once we were at the dealership, Hunter and Cooper had to get bikes too. That wasn’t part of the plan so technically it wasn’t my fault we were late.

Finally, after we got all had our finance paperwork done Hunter decided to leave his truck there so he could ride his bike to the party with us. We would just come back to pick up the truck later that night. Cooper decided he wanted to take the long way home and that was a huge mistake. Route 295 was jammed bumper to bumper with traffic, all lanes stopped. We were between exits so it wasn’t like we could turn off and loop back around to go home. When they finally opened the highway, after they’d cleaned up a vehicle fire, we were two hours late to the party. We all parked the bikes up on the sidewalk since the driveway was full. I was unsnapping my helmet when I caught the front door fling open. MacKenzie stood there with her hand on her hip.

“Really?” She asked when the three of us walked up.

“Sorry Kenz, we got held up with the paperwork and then hit traffic.” I said as I slipped past her into the house.

The house was packed with all MacKenzie and Hailey’s friends. I scanned around for Hailey but didn’t see her anywhere. I knew she had to be somewhere since this was her party after all.

“You get clean up duty, jerks.” MacKenzie said as she stomped past us into the sitting room.

Hunter, Cooper and I went into the kitchen to grab a few slices of pizza. Dad and Mom were there and started grilling us about why we were so late. Mom was worried sick that something happened because none of us were answering our cell phones. Mom had begged me not to get a bike before we left and now that Cooper and I both had one I saw the panic flash in her eyes. I assured her we would be careful. Dad wrapped his arms around her and told her that we were nineteen now and old enough to start making our own decisions. She knew he was right but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t worry about it.

I left Cooper and Hunter in the kitchen talking to Mom and Dad and went in search of Hailey. I knew she would be pissed but I’d just have to make it up to her. Maybe a ride on the bike would do the trick. I walked into the sitting room and found her sitting on Tyler Walter’s lap. That guy was a piece of shit and only after one thing, a piece of ass. I’ve heard about how he treats the girls he’s with and he deserved an ass beating for that. The only reason he didn’t get one was because he was under age and I didn’t need to be put in jail for hitting a minor. I’ve warned both MacKenzie and Hailey to steer clear from him, obviously they didn’t listen now that Cooper and I aren’t around as much.

I walked over and glared down at the both of them. Hailey had her arms wrapped around Tyler’s neck and he had his right hand resting high on the top of Hailey’s left thigh.

“Hailey,” I said through my teeth. I clenched my jaw a few times as she slowly pulled back and looked up at me.

“Oh, hey Mase.” Hailey said while rolling her eyes.

“Can I talk to you for a minute outside?” I asked her.

“Can’t you see we are kind of busy?” Tyler replied.

“Can you tell I don’t give a fuck?” I retorted.

“Alright, alright, give me a second.” Hailey told me as she started untangling herself from Tyler.

I wasn’t waiting around so I walked out front and stood in front of the garage door until she walked out. When she finally came out a few minutes later with a sad look on her face, I knew I’d fucked up and that helped dissipate some of the anger rolling off me.

“I told you to stay away from that asshole, Hailey.” I gritted out.

She flinched; good, she knew I was pissed.

We stood there in silence for a few minutes, “Look I’m sorry. I know I promised I’d be here. I didn’t know we would be this late. Cooper and Hunter decided they had to have bikes too and then we got stuck in traffic.” I said as I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me.

Hailey had begun sneaking into my room every time she would sleep over and I was at home. I think MacKenzie knew that she was. How could she not at this point? There were a few nights when Hailey didn’t make it back into the room with MacKenzie until after she was already up. It was getting harder and harder to sleep with her in my bed. She was filling out and getting sexier the older she got. I wanted her; I had from that first time I got her off at the beach house. But she was still only sixteen, still in high school and my kid sister’s best friend. She should be enjoying her last two years in school. I shouldn’t be hung up on her. The cleat chasers back at school were helping take the edge off wanting Hailey and keeping myself in check. I couldn’t have Hailey, not the way I wanted her. I’d have to deal with at least the little pieces I got of her for now.

I lifted Hailey’s chin so she was looking up at me. “Hailey,”

“I know Mason, no big deal, okay? I get it. You’ve got more important shit going on.” Hailey said. I could see the tears welling in her eyes. She thought I was going to start pulling away from her.

“Hailey, don’t do that. I’ve told you I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you. I didn’t show up late to hurt you. You should be enjoying your party not worrying about me. You’re in high school and you should be having fun these last few years.” I couldn’t bring myself to mention that she should be dating too. Even though Hailey was off limits that didn’t mean I had to like the fact that she should be going out with other guys.

“I am having fun, Mase.” She rolled her eyes, “You’ve been telling me to enjoy myself every time you come home. Don’t you get it? I am having fun. I just have a little more when you’re home.”

“Good. Do you want to have a little fun now?” I asked trying to steer this conversation into better territory.

“Yeah.”

I pulled her to me and wrapped her in my arms. “You see my bike yet?”

She shook her head, “Where is it?”

“Turn around.”

She did and then walked over to it. “That’s hot, Mase. When are you taking me out for a ride?”

The front door opened and MacKenzie, Jaylinn, Cooper and Hunter walked out; a few of their friends followed a few seconds later but stayed up on the porch.

“Want to go now?” I asked her.

Her eyes widen, “Are you serious?”

I chuckled, “Of course.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Hails.” MacKenzie spoke up.

“I’ll be fine.” Hailey told her.

“Coop, can I borrow your helmet for a few minutes?” Cooper walked over and handed it to me. I slid the helmet down over Hailey’s head. She pushed her bangs out of the way while I fastened the straps under her chin.

I sat on the bike and balanced it while Hailey climbed on. I realized then how big of a mistake this actually was going to be. Her body was going to be wrapped around mine. I started the bike and revved the engine a few times, needing a distraction from Hailey sitting behind me; with a dress on nonetheless. I said over my shoulder, “Hold on as tight as you can. When I lean into a turn, lean with me, and whatever you do, don’t let go.”

I leaned forward and Hailey squeezed my hips with the inside of her thighs. I could feel the heat from between her legs. Then she wrapped her arms around my stomach and locked her fingers together. My dick started growing hard. Fuck! I had to get out of here.

I gave the bike a little gas and we slowly went down the sidewalk until we were able to get on the street and then I gave it even more gas and we were flying.

I didn’t know where to take Hailey so I took her where I always ended up; down at the baseball field. I pulled into my old high school parking lot and killed the engine. I took my helmet off and looked over my shoulder and told Hailey to slide off.

When she did I climbed off myself and then helped her with her helmet. “Why am I not surprised that we wound up here?”

I laughed. She shouldn’t be surprised at all. “Where else would I take you?”

She shrugged her shoulders and walked towards the field, I followed behind her. As she walked her hips swayed back and forth. Shit! I can’t think like this.

“Mason!” Hailey yelled.

“What?”

“I can feel you staring at me you know.” She said with an amused tone in her voice.

“I can’t help it.” I laughed.

She stopped walking and waited for me to catch up. Lucky the lights for the field were still on, I’m sure a game had wrapped up not too long ago. The smell of the dirt made me feel at home.

“So how’s college going?” She asked as she took a seat in the dugout.

I took a seat next to her. “It’s going, there is always practice, a game, school work and parties to go to so there is something going on all the time.”

“Girls?” Hailey said as she looked out over the field, avoiding my face.

“Lots.” And that was all I was willing to tell her. I’m sure she could figure out for herself. She knew how the girls were in high school.

“That’s what I figured.” She said with a nervous laugh.

“They don’t mean anything, Hailey. I don’t have time for any of them.” And that was the truth. I didn’t have time and I didn’t want them to interfere with my schedule.

“I miss you, Mase.” Hailey said softly.

I reached over and grabbed her hand that was resting on the bench. “I miss you too, Boo.” She looked over and smiled at me. “Come here.”

She stood up and I pulled her into me, so she was straddling my legs. I pulled her closer and rested my head against her chest while she ran her fingers through my hair. I sighed; I loved it when she did that.

She put her tiny hands on either side of my face and tilted my head up. “Kiss me, Mase.” She didn’t ask, she told me.

I crashed my lips to hers. Everything with Hailey was so strong, so hot. When she would get pissed off at me she would be cold as ice. I loved that she told me what she wanted, what she felt.

Hailey moaned into my mouth. Then all of a sudden it was pitch black. The overhead lights had been turned off.

Hailey pulled away and started laughing. “I guess someone wants us to leave.” She said as she climbed off my lap.

As she turned around to walk away I caught her hips and drew her back into my lap. “Where are you going?”

I felt her start to shake. “I thought we were leaving.” She whispered.

“We will in a few minutes.” I whispered into her ear. Then I took her ear lobe into my mouth and bit down gently.

She shivered.

I held her close to me for a little while, enjoying her being in my arms, kissing her neck, but I knew I had to get her back. MacKenzie and Mom would send out a search party soon, plus she had her friends waiting for her. “I guess I should get you back huh?”

Hailey shook her head, “No, we can stay here a little while longer.”

I laughed and gently pushed her up so I could stand. I grabbed her hand and helped her find our way back to my bike. I grabbed the helmets, handed one to her while I climbed on. I was about to put my helmet on when I looked over at Hailey who was just standing there staring at the bike.

“What’s wrong?”

She gazed at me for a second before looking at the bike and then to me again. “Can I try something?”

I eyed her suspiciously, “Uh, yeah I guess so.”

She walked over like she was going to slide on but she was standing the wrong direction when she lifted her leg and slid onto the bike facing me. Her legs wrapped around my hips. Her heat encased me again and I got the smell of her arousal. Her chest pressed up against mine and we were now face to face. Hailey kept wiggling, trying to get situated and every time she did my dick twitched. I was becoming more and more uncomfortable as my dick pressed up against my zipper.

I grabbed her hips, “Hails, stop moving.” I said with a nervous chuckle.

She smiled. She knew exactly what she was doing. Hailey leaned forward and started kissing my neck and then slid her hands up under my shirt.

“Hailey,” I moaned as she raked her nails down my chest to the waistband of my jeans.

“Hmm.” She shifted her hips again. “I want you, Mason.”

It was like a cold bucket of water was thrown on me. I wasn’t expecting that from her. “Hailey, you don’t mean that.”

She stopped kissing me and looked me right in the eyes. “I do, Mason. I’m ready, more than ready and I want it to be with you.”

I knew I had to tread lightly about this with her. Her dad had done a number on her and I knew if I pushed her away the wrong way it would end badly.

“Not like this Hailey. You deserve better than me taking you here on my bike in the school parking lot.” I said as I kissed her lips.

She didn’t kiss me back. I brought her body closer to mine. “I’m not saying no, Hailey, just not like this. That’s all.”

“Fine.” Hailey tried to slide off but I stopped her. I knew what that fine meant. She was pissed off and wanted me to be left alone.

“Hailey,” I said with a warning. “I’ll do it but you’ll regret it tomorrow. You forget I know you Hailey. You’re hard on the outside but soft on the inside.”

This time when she tried to slide off the bike I let her. She put the helmet on, and then climbed on behind me. She wrapped her arms around me but a little too gently for my liking. I grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to my back. “Hold on tight, Hailey. I’m not fucking around.” I meant it as rough as it came out. Hailey needed it that way sometimes to get it through her thick head.

She sighed loudly and then interlocked her fingers around my stomach.

“I’m stopping at Wawa before we go home.” I told her before I started the bike.

By the time we pulled up to Wawa a few minutes later she still hadn’t relaxed. Her body wasn’t as tense as had been though.

“You want anything?” I asked as we climbed off the bike.

Hailey raised her eyebrows at me. “Besides that.” I laughed.

She took a step closer to me so we were practically chest to chest. “Well since I can’t have your,” she looked down between us and then back up to me, “I want chocolate milk.”

I laughed and threw my arms around her and we walked into Wawa and I bought her the drink.

“Mason,” Mark, another pitcher, called my name. “Where’d you go?”

I shook my head, “Sorry, I spaced out.”

When I look around the stands they are mostly empty. The game had ended and we won five to two. I find Cooper in the locker room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Hurry up dude I’ve got somewhere I need to be.” I say to him.

“Just take off. Jaylinn is picking me up.” Cooper says as he reaches for a shirt in his locker.

I want to talk to him about Lily with the wedding being over but now I’m not going to get a chance. I don’t want family business discussed in the club house so I make myself a promise that I will talk to him as soon as I come home tonight. If I were lucky I wouldn’t be coming home until tomorrow night though.

An hour later I pulled up in front of Hunter and MacKenzie’s house. Here goes nothing.

14

Fall into me

- Hailey -

There is a knock at the door and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I called Jaylinn earlier to see if she could stop by and keep me company. Ryder isn’t any fun since all he really wants to do is sleep today. Poor little guy is so exhausted from all yesterday’s excitement.

When I open the front door I am surprised to see Mason. “Uh … hey … what are you doing here?”

Mason doesn’t answer; he pushes the door open and walks in.

“Mason?”

“What?” he asks as he makes himself comfortable in the living room.

“You didn’t answer me.” I say as I walk around the sofa.

“You wouldn’t like my answer.” He states. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t.

I roll my eyes and Ryder lets out a cry. I turn off the monitor that is sitting on the end table and walk upstairs to get him. When I go into his room he has rolled on his stomach and is still crying. I reach down and cradle him in my arms trying to settle him down. “Oh Ryder, it’s ok monkey, Mommy and Daddy will be home in a few days.” I say as I pat his bottom and pace back and forth.

“Can I try?” Mason asks me as he sneaks up behind me.

I stare at him in disbelief. He normally doesn’t do well with a crying Ryder. Mason gets all freaked out cause he thinks he’s doing something wrong.

He holds his strong arms out. “Let me see him.”

Ryder starts to reach for him. “Come here buddy, Uncle Mason will figure out what’s going on with you.” As soon as Ryder settles into Mason’s arms his cries quiet to a soft whimper. Nice. I used to have that touch with Ryder.

“Where’s his blanket, Hails?” Mason asks as he shushes Ryder, rocking him in his arms.

I go over to the diaper bag that I still haven’t unpacked yet and pull Ryder’s soft, baby blue blanket out of his bag and hand it to him. “Here you go.” As I hand it over a little piece of paper falls to the ground. I reach down and pick it up.

Hails

Use this when Ryder will not stop crying.

Xoxo

Kenzie

Great! I should have known MacKenzie would have left me little notes like this. She was worried about leaving her baby for a week while she and Hunter were off enjoying their honeymoon.

Mason starts laughing, “My sister really did think of everything, huh?”

I crumple up the paper and throw it at him. “Yeah she did.”

I leave them in the room and saunter downstairs to make myself some coffee. I really should order some takeout since I haven’t been eating properly lately, but coffee sounds better at this point.

Mason strolls down with a now happy Ryder in his arms. “When did he eat last?”

I look at the clock on the microwave. “He’s due for a bottle.”

I go over to the sink and start fixing Ryder’s milk. When it’s all warm and ready I place a burp cloth on my shoulder and go into the living room where Mason and Ryder are. The sight in front of me stops me in my tracks. Mason has Ryder propped up on his lap watching the Yankees and Phillies battling it out in the last inning. Mason looks so comfortable and at ease with Ryder. My heart aches as I picture what Mason would look like if he and I were to have a little boy or girl. I clear the thought away just as quickly as it came. Now is not the time for that.

Mason catches me staring at him, “Bottle ready?”

“Uh,” I look down to the bottle still in my hand, “Yeah.” I go over to where they are sitting on the couch and grab for Ryder.

Mason places a hand on my wrist stopping me. “I got it. Why don’t you go take a bath and relax? I know you aren’t going to get much time for yourself for the next couple of days while you have him.”

I gawk at him. What’s he really up to? “You sure?”

“Positive.” Mason grabs the bottle, lays Ryder down in his arms and then turns his attention back to the game.

Well then, I’m taking advantage of this time to go and soak in MacKenzie’s massive tub that Hunter’s just put in for her. I turn the kitchen light off and make my way upstairs to grab a pair of yoga pants and a tank top from one of my bags in the guest room. I go into MacKenzie’s bathroom and start filling up the tub, making sure to add lots of bubbles, and then work on lighting a few candles around it. I dim the lights and strip out of my clothes. I dip my toes in first, feeling the temperature. It’s perfect.

I sink down until my whole body is covered, leaving only my face above the water. All the sounds drown out until I can only hear myself breathing. I close my eyes for just a few seconds but when I open them Mason is standing above me.

I sit up quickly and try to cover by body with the bubbles. “Damn it, Mason. You could have knocked.”

He laughs, “I called your name. You didn’t hear me.”

“Can you turn around? Better yet, get out. I’ll be out in just a second.”

Mason kneels down next to the tub, “Hails, I’ve seen and tasted every inch of your body. There’s no reason to hide.” My cheeks burn thinking about the first time Mason saw me completely naked.

It was prom weekend for MacKenzie and I. Mason and I were on really bad terms after I found out that he slept with that whore Lily back in the eighth grade. I wasn’t stupid, I knew he had been with other girls; but Mason sleeping with Lily was inexcusable to me because he wouldn’t sleep with me. I always thought it was because of our age, apparently not. I hated Lily with a passion and Mason knew that. Mason had been trying to call and text me but I’d just ignored him. One of the high school basketball players, Matt, had asked me to prom. I agreed just because I really had no one else to go with and he had been the first one to ask me. Matt and I spent a lot of time together leading up to prom and I had started developing feelings for him. This was the first guy I felt anything for aside from Mason. Yeah I’ve had boyfriends here and there but I never felt a thing for any of them. I guess I kept trying, hoping I could eventually get over Mason.

MacKenzie and I had gone out to get our hair done right after school on Friday. Once that was done we had gone back to her house to get ready before the limo came. I was pulling out my clothes so I could rearrange my bags to get everything to fit when the box of condoms I bought fell on the floor.

“Umm, Hails?” MacKenzie asked with a raised eyebrow.

“What? They’re just condoms.” I said trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal.

MacKenzie huffed, “I know what they are. Did you forget that I have three brothers and the jackasses can’t remember to take them out of their pockets so they are always in the washer?”

I shrugged, “I was thinking about sleeping with Matt this weekend.” I didn’t really want to have this conversation with her. MacKenzie and I had talked about losing our v-cards a lot lately but we both said we wanted to wait until we were completely sure. Now I just wanted to lose mine and since Mason wasn’t going to help me with that I’d find someone who would.

“Hailey!” MacKenzie exclaimed. “That’s a big deal. I’m your best friend and you weren’t even going to tell me?”

“Kenzie, it’s not a big deal.” I said, downplaying it.

MacKenzie rolled her eyes, “Whatever you say. Did you and Matt plan this?”

I nodded. It was a lie but I wasn’t going to tell her that I hoped her brother would have been my first.

The conversation was dropped after that. We went about the rest of the afternoon trying to make sure her car was packed so all we would have to do when prom was over was to come back and pick up her car.

Prom had been a blast. We’d all had the time of our lives. Late that night when we all arrived at the shore house the party really got started. Most of our friends’ parents had houses down there so there was a good group of us all hanging out. Matt and I were getting pretty hot and heavy out on the back deck. Then Frankie showed up with beers; Matt began drinking and started to get really friendly with our friend Mike’s date. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but then before I realized it a half hour had passed and I hadn’t seen Matt anywhere. I went into the house and tried to find him, and that’s when I found a lot more than I wanted to. Matt was screwing some girl in the bathroom. I only knew it was him because I heard his name being called out.

I turned around to leave because I was devastated that he had done that to me. I thought we had something special going for us. By the time I’d reached the stairs, Mason had walked in with Hunter and Cooper. I didn’t think the night could get any worse.

“Hailey? What the fuck is wrong?” Mason asked when he noticed I was crying.

I pushed past him and ran upstairs. MacKenzie was up there grabbing a sweatshirt.

“What’s going on?” She asked as I ran over and wrapped my arms around her.

I cried harder as she shushed me and told me to take a few deep breaths. “Matt is screwing some girl in the bathroom, Kenz.” I laughed once through the tears. “What a fucking idiot I am! And to think I was going to give him my v-card.” I cried.

After a few minutes I calmed down and wiped the mascara off my cheeks with a tissue. “My brothers are looking for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes ok?” MacKenzie said as she was tapping away on her phone.

“Alright.”

After she left I unzipped my dress and threw it on the bed, then took off my heels and bent down to pick up my overnight bag off the floor. I was sifting through it looking for the boy shorts and tank top I’d packed to sleep in.

“Hailey?”

Shit, what is Mason doing up here. “Give me a second Mason, I’m getting changed.”

He either didn’t hear me or didn’t care because he continued up the stairs to the third floor. I had my back turned towards him so I wasn’t sure where in the room he was until his hands snaked around my waist.

I tensed, “Don’t, Mase.”

He didn’t move his hands though. “That was a really shitty thing that Matt kid did and I promise it’s getting taken care of.”

I knew what that threat meant. The Cahills were going after him.

“He’s not worth it, Mase. Just leave it be.”

“The hell I will.” He said with rage in his voice.

I huffed, “Whatever. I’m going to bed.” I tried to get out of his grasp but it didn’t work, he held on tight.

“Were you really going to sleep with him?” Mason asked.

Damn it! MacKenzie had told him what I was going to do. “What does it matter to you?”

“You matter Hailey, now answer the question.” Mason said harshly.

I waited a few seconds before nodding my head.

Mason sighed loudly and let his grip around my waist go. When I turned around he was running his hands through his hair.

“Come to my room with me.”

“What? No,” I shook my head. “I’m getting changed and going to bed.”

Mason gave me a stern, heated look. “Come. To. My. Room. With. Me.”

I rolled my eyes. He must have thought I was just going to fall back into his arms again. Not a chance in hell. I continued looking for my things in my bags. “What are you looking for?”

“Uh, clothes.” I huffed. Had he not noticed I was standing here in my bra and underwear? I reached for the other bag I had brought with me, still unable to find any clothes, but Mason grabbed my arm.

“Here,” He reached behind his head and pulled his shirt off. “Put this on and lets go.”

I glared at him. “I’m not going anywhere with you Mase.”

He pulled his shirt over my head so fast I didn’t have a chance to fight him, then he threw me over his shoulder and headed out the door. Damn caveman.

“I have two legs you know.” I said as I pounded on his back.

He ignored me. When we reached his room he set me down to unlock his bedroom door and pushed it open for me. Once we were both in he turned and locked the door. Next thing I know he had me pinned against it.

“What—-” I was cut off by Mason’s hungry kiss.

He grabbed the back of my thighs and hoisted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist while he walked us to his bed. He gently laid me in the center of the bed and then crawled on top of me; nipping and sucking on my neck.

“Mase …”

He reached down between us and pushed up my shirt to reveal more of my skin. “I didn’t want to do this, Hailey. You deserve someone better than me but I can’t stop wanting you. It would have killed me if someone else was your first.” He thrust his hips against mine and I let out a strangled moan. “I’m sorry, Hailey. I wasn’t thinking with Lily.”

“You’re damn right you weren’t.” I tried to push him off me but he pinned my hands above my head.

“You are mine, Hailey. You aren’t going to remember whatever his name is after I’m done with you.” Mason told me.

He was being possessive and I had to admit that I liked it. While Mason and I rolled in his bed, I eagerly started pulling his clothes off. The mood had changed from possessive to tender.

“It’s gonna hurt at first, Hailey. I’m going to try and be as gentle as possible.” Mason explained between the kisses he was placing down my stomach. I arched my back the lower he got. My body was strung out from the want and need of Mason.

He slowly pulled my thong down and then reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom. He ripped it open with his teeth. I sat up and watched as he rolled it on his length. “You sure about this, Hailey?”

I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak.

“We can stop now, or whenever you want, you just have to tell me.” Mason said. I could hear the worry in his voice.

“I know, Mase, I trust you.” I trusted him with my life.

I reached up, put my hands behind his neck and brought him down to me. I opened my legs wider so that Mason could settle between them and they started shaking from the anticipation.

“You’re shaking.” Mason said as he kissed right below my ear.

“I’m fine, just a little nervous.”

I felt Mason at my opening, he pushed in just a little and I felt myself stretching. I dug my fingernails into Mason’s back as he pushed in a little further. It hurt but wasn’t unbearable.

Mason lifted up and gazed into my eyes. He stilled inside me, letting me stretch to fit his size and get used to the feeling. Mason continued placing kisses on my lips, down my jaw and just as he got to my ear he pushed all the way in and I felt a sudden pinch. I squeezed my eyes shut.

“I love you, Hailey.” I heard Mason whisper so quietly that I’m not sure if I was meant to hear it.

My eyes flew open but I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t. I was in shock.

Mason stilled, “You okay?”

I nodded, the pinching sensation was dissipating. I lifted my hips trying to get Mason to move but he wouldn’t.

“Mase, look at me.” When he opened his eyes my heart fluttered. Mason’s eyes that were normally so stormy now looked so clear, so calm. “I’m ok.”

Mason pulled almost all the way out, and then slowly pushed back in. He was making love to me, he wasn’t just screwing me. In this moment I knew my heart would always belong to Mason Cahill.

After some time I was meeting Mason thrust for thrust; it wasn’t long before Mason and I found our releases together. What was once a ruined night was now one of the best nights of my life.

“Where are you going?” I asked as Mason rolled off me.

“To go clean up. I’ll be right back.” Mason walked into the bathroom that connected his and Cooper’s room.

When he came back he had a towel in his hand and handed it to me. I climbed off the bed and saw the blood that was there. I gasped. I had forgotten all about that.

Mason walked over and wrapped me up in his arms. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

I laughed nervously, “I only have my bra and shirt on.”

“Exactly.”

Mason pulled his shirt over my head and undid the clasp of my bra, slowly lowering the straps until it was completely off.

Mason took a step back, “Damn you’re beautiful. Are you sore?”

“A little bit.”

Mason grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom where he drew me a bath with bubbles.

“It was perfect, Hailey.” Mason says. He’s probably thinking of our first time too.

I glance over at him and nod. “I’m gonna wash up, I’ll be right out.”

Mason smiles. “Turn around; I’ll wash your back.”

“Mason …”

“Just turn around.” Mason says.

I turn so that my back is facing him and draw my knees up to my chest. Mason reaches for the body wash and then he starts massaging my shoulders. He takes his time, making sure to cover every part of my back. As he gets lower I sit up further giving him the access that he needs.

Once my back is washed to his high standards, he rinses off his hands in the water and then stands to dry his hands off with the towel. “Have you eaten yet? I’m starving.”

I turn around to face him but keep myself hidden by the side of the tub. “You’re not leaving?”

He shakes his head and walks out of the room before I have a chance to argue with him that he should.

I finish up in the bath, get dressed and pile my hair on top of my head. I throw my dirty clothes in the guest room and go to find Mason.

He is sitting in the living room, flipping through the channels. The baby monitor sits next to his leg. I sit on the other end of the couch and pull a blanket across my legs.

“I ordered an extra cheese pizza, light on the sauce. Hope that’s ok.” Mason tells me as he continues to flip through the channels. He ordered the pizza exactly how I love it.

“That’s fine. Thanks.” What is he up to?

Mason puts the remote down and looks over at me. “What?” I ask.

He shakes his head, “Nothing.”

15

Gorilla

- Mason -

“What?” Hailey asks again.

“Things were good between us, right? Before that shit with Lily?” I say to her. I want her to remember the good times we had. I want to chip away at the walls she’s put up.

Hailey shifts uncomfortably from her seat on the couch. “Yeah, they were great Mason.”

I look up at the ceiling, resting my head on the back of the couch and sigh loudly. I can feel Hailey staring at me.

“Lets play a game.” She says after a few minutes. I look over at her and she is huddled in the corner of the couch, looking all cute. She has her golden blonde hair piled on the top of her head, she isn’t wearing any makeup and she has on those damn stretchy pants and a short, tight tank top.

I chuckle. “You and your games.”

She huffs; a mixture of embarrassment and anger, “Forget it.”

Letting out a long, drawn out yawn, she flips the covers off her legs and starts to stand up. “I’m not very hungry. I’m gonna call it a night, just let yourself out and lock the door when you go.”

I hear her stomach growl as she talks about food and I’m not about to let her run away from me. “Bullshit.”

She whips her head around to me, “Excuse me?”

My lip pulls up into a smirk, “You heard me. You’re hungry. I heard your stomach, Hailey.”

She goes to take a step away from the couch so I jump up from where I’m sitting and stalk over to her. Just as she’s about to get to the end of the couch I reach out and grab her by the elbow. When she turns around to face me she opens and closes her mouth a few times. She looks like a fish out of water.

I order her to sit in the firmest voice I can manage.

Hailey finally finds her words and snaps back. “No. I’m not hungry.”

I take a step closer to her. She has to look up at me because I’m so close. “Sit. I’m not telling you again.”

We’re locked in a staring contest; she’s not going to win this. Finally she looks away and sits back down on the couch. Victory! I smile at her and she rolls her eyes at me.

The doorbell rings throughout the whole house, it sounds like someone is strangling a damn cat. Hailey curses under her breath and reaches over for the monitor. I quickly open the door for the pizza guy, hoping like hell he didn’t wake Ryder.

After I pay for our food, I place it on the kitchen counter and reach into the cabinet for the paper plates.

Hailey comes into the kitchen and goes to the fridge. “You want something?”

“Water is good for me.” Things are weird and a little uncomfortable for us, I’m not really sure how to act around her because I don’t want to push too much and make her shut down.

I take a slice out, put it on a plate for Hailey and then dish myself one. Hailey places my bottle of water on the counter next to me, I hand her one of the plates. I step around her and take a seat at the breakfast bar. I chose to sit here so I could be close to her without making it too obvious, but Hailey is already one step ahead of me. She hops up on to the counter. She’s close but too far away, I decide to give her the space she is keeping between us.

“So,” I twist the top off my water bottle, “How were finals?” Last I heard she was worried about a few, but before everything hit the fan with us she had been staying up all hours studying. When I would wake up at five in the morning for practice I would have to move the books off her lap and cover her up.

Hailey wipes her mouth with her napkin. “All my studying paid off. I passed all my classes.”

I nod my head. “Good. Do you ever regret transferring?”

Hailey stares at me for a few minutes. “No. I loved ODU,” she looks over and smiles at me, “Being home and going to Rowan College works too, though. But now I’m regretting it.”

My eyebrows burrow, “How come?”

She looks at me like I’m stupid. “Really Mason?”

I flinch. Guess that was a stupid question to ask. If she’d stayed at ODU she wouldn’t run into me all the time when I’m home.

“Do you miss BU?” She asks before taking a bite of her pizza.

I play with the label on the water bottle and answer her truthfully. “I liked the classes but hated all the pressure that baseball brought with it. I live, breathe, and eat baseball and I wouldn’t change it for the world, but I kind of wanted to be like every other normal college kid. You know? Everyone wanted me to be everywhere all at once. Why do you think I came home so much, aside from seeing you?”

Hailey clears her throat, “And I’m sure everyone wanted a piece of you, right?”

“Hailey,” I warn.

“I know, Mase. I see that shit on Facebook all the time. I was ok with it, you know what I mean? I knew you were mine and at the end of the day you were coming home to me.” She starts swinging her legs back and forth, stopping right before she hits the cabinets with her heels.

“I am yours, Hailey.” I push back from the breakfast bar and go to stand in front of her. I lift her chin to make her look at me. “I’m yours.”

A tear slips from her eye, “I miss you, Mason.”

I run my thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tear. She’s hurting and I can’t bear that I’m the cause of all this sadness and pain. To help ease her agony just a little bit; I tell her, “I love you, Boo.”

Slowly I start to lean forward, I want to kiss her so badly it hurts but I don’t want her to completely push me away.

She’s staring at my lips and then licks hers. “Mason,” she whispers.

“Hmm,”

“I just want to pretend. Even if it’s only for a little bit, okay? Act like nothing happened. Just,” she takes a deep breath then lets it out, “kiss me.” Her tongue darts out again licking her lips and I wish it was something else that she was licking.

I lean forward and place a sweet, gentle kiss on her lips. Hailey hates it when I kiss her like this but I’m doing it on purpose. I want her to take control of the situation. I don’t want her to hate me in the morning or later tonight.

Hailey reaches up, runs her fingers in my hair and pulls hard. It hurts but it feels too good to tell her to loosen her grip. She moans into my mouth and I swallow the delicious sound. Her legs wrap around my hips. I pull her so that she’s sitting on the edge of the counter. She’s fully leaning into me, if I move she’ll fall. I know she trusts me in this moment.

She pulls back, “Mason, if you don’t touch me I swear my ovaries will fucking explode.”

I chuckle and grind into her. Her head falls back, I start to nip and kiss at her neck. I reach for the bottom of her tiny tank top and quickly pull it over her head, tossing it behind me. She giggles and my dick twitches at the sound. Hailey notices and laughs harder.

I look down at where our bodies are joined, then look up at her and smirk. She has on the bra that she bought for me. It’s my favorite thing that she owns. It’s white and the cups are baseballs, it has a matching thong with it. Eager to see if she’s wearing it I reach for the waistband of her black stretchy pants and yank at the same time as she lifts. Fuck! My dick just got even harder at the sight of her sitting on the counter in nothing but a bra and matching thong.

I take a step back to admire the view. “Damn, Boo.” If this is the last time I may see her, I’m taking my fill of her body. I have to figure out what I’m going to do about this fucking Lily mess.

She bites her bottom lip and looks at me with hooded eyes. An idea pops to mind. When I grabbed a drink earlier there was a can of whipped cream in there. I wink at Hailey, turn to the fridge and fish out the can. I turn back around and Hailey’s eyes go wide.

Hailey shakes her head, “You are not.”

“Why aren’t I?”

She tried to hop down off the counter but I quickly step in between her legs.

She playfully pushes me back. “We are in your sister’s house and Ryder is upstairs.”

Ignoring her I place the can next to her, then reach behind her and unclasp her bra. Her hands fly up to keep it in place. “Mason …”

I grab the straps that are still on her shoulders and start to slowly slide them down her arms. I place a kiss on each of her shoulders. When I can’t move it down her arms any further, she gives in and drops her hands.

“That’s what I thought.” I say and then kiss her so she can’t sass back.

I open my eyes while kissing her, hers are still closed. I reach down for the can, kiss her one last time and then get to work on my master piece. “Lean back.”

Hailey listens and leans back on her elbows. I kneel down in front of her and place the can down by my knee. I reach up and slide my fingers inside her thong and slowly move them down her long, tan legs. Once it is completely off, I look up at Hailey and her mouth is hanging open. She thinks I’m going for a homerun but not so fast, I want to run the bases.

I pick up the can and shake it, nudging her legs open a little wider. I then place the tip of the can right at her clit and spray it. Hailey sucks in a breath and her eyes flutter close. When I’m satisfied and she is completely covered, I draw a line to her left tit, and cover the whole nipple with the whipped cream. I draw another line to the center of her neck, make a quick circle. Draw another line to her right tit and cover that nipple. Then I draw the final line to home plate.

I set the can on the counter next to her, stand up and reach for my phone in my pocket.

“Only you, Mason, would draw the diamond, of all the things you needed to do this?” Hailey says with a sultry voice.

Then she shirks when she sees I have my phone in my hand. “You are not taking my picture.”

She starts to close her legs, “You close those legs and it will be your biggest mistake. You think your ovaries couldn’t handle it before, you just close your legs and find out.”

She gapes at me but leaves her legs open and I quickly snap a couple of pictures.

I slide my phone back in my pocket, take a step closer and look her right in the eyes. “The bases are loaded, Hails. I’m going for my grand slam.”

I bend slightly and lift her legs over my shoulder. My tongue darts out over her clit and I circle it a few times. Hailey sucks in a breath between her teeth and her legs start to shake. I lower them so I’m holding them in the crook of my arms. I lick a path to her left nipple. “First base,” I suck on it hard and when I let go there is a loud pop. I lick the path to the center of her neck and bite hard, “Second base.” Hailey moans loudly and this time it’s her entire body that shakes. I trace the path to third, suck on it hard and lightly bite it, “Third base.” Then I trace the final line, “Gland slam.” Hailey’s body breaks out with goose bumps. I lick, nip and suck hard on her clit until her whole body stiffens.

“Fuck, Mase.” Hailey moans.

Once I’ve licked her clean I drop her legs and stand up. I kiss her left shoulder while she runs her fingernails up and down my back.

“My turn,” She gently pushes me back and hops off the counter.

I watch as her hips sway back and forth as she walks over to the fridge and pulls out the chocolate syrup and milk. She looks back at me and gives me that Cheshire cat smile of hers. She places them both on the counter, stands between my legs and reaches over my shoulder to grab a glass.

I eye her suspiciously. Hailey shakes her head while pouring the milk in a glass, and I see a smile spread across her face. Oh Lord, what does she have in store for me? When she finishes pouring, she reaches for my belt buckle. She undoes it quickly, then makes work on the button and slowly slides my zipper down, being careful not to catch me. I reach behind my head to pull off my shirt and throw it beside hers on the floor.

“Hails—-”

“Shh Mason,” Hailey sits on her knees between my legs. She reaches up and pulls my boxer briefs down and my dick springs free. Finally! With my jeans and boxers around my knees, Hailey sticks her tongue out and licks the tip of my dick then swirls her tongue around it. I groan loud, jaw clenched tight. She reaches for the chocolate with her right hand while she has me firmly held in her left hand. Hailey tips the bottle upside down and pours chocolate all up and down my dick. It jumps a few times at the thought of her wrapping her hot mouth around it.

Hailey’s left hand starts to slowly pump and twist while her tongue swirls the tip again. She moans loudly as she licks the underside from root to tip. She reaches for the glass of milk, takes a sip and then takes me in her mouth until I feel the back of her throat. My knees lock and my whole body starts to shake. It’s so cold but feels so incredibly good. It’s taking everything in me to not pump hard and fast into her mouth.

I can’t take it anymore. I reach down and tangle my fingers in her hair. Hailey moans around my dick. I’m so close to exploding in her mouth. I pull away from her and she frowns.

I pull her up and turn her around so her back is to me. “Brace yourself on the counter.” She does as I ask.

I reach down into the back pocket of my jeans, pull out my wallet and rip out the condom. I throw the wallet aside and tear the condom open with my teeth and make quick work of sliding it on.

I grab Hailey’s hips with both my hands. “This isn’t going to be gentle, Hailey. It’s going to be hard and fast. It’s been too fucking long.”

She’s already panting. I slowly push. She’s soaked and I slide all the way in with ease. She’s so fucking tight I know I’m not going to last long and the way she is already moaning and groaning I know it’s not going to last long for her either.

I pound into her, hard, fast. I’m thinking anything and everything besides what I’m doing, trying to make this last as long as possible. I’m so fucking close; then all of a sudden Hailey shudders and squeezes me like a vice while crying out my name. I pull all the way out and slam into her one final time and give her everything I have.

I’m draped over her body trying to catch my breath when the doorbell rings.

“Fuck!” I yell.

“Who the hell is that?” Hailey says with a scratchy voice.

I start to pull out of her when I hear someone yell, “Hello, Hailey?”

16

In these arms

- Hailey -

“Shit!” I stand up and search around for my clothes. “I forgot I called Jay over to hang out.”

Mason reaches down and pulls his jeans up, tucks everything back inside and makes quick work of his zipper, button and belt. I’m so fucking sticky I’m having a hard time pulling my yoga pants up. Mason quickly reaches for his shirt and pulls it down over my head just as Cooper comes around the corner.

“Oh hell!” Cooper yells.

Jaylinn comes up behind him. “Masey what are you—-” Jaylinn covers her eyes with her hands. “Christ! I’ll never be able to bleach this shit out of my eyes.” She says.

I look around the kitchen and it’s a sight to see. There is chocolate syrup smeared all over the kitchen floor. It looks like someone was finger painting with it on the counters. My face feels sticky so I’m sure it’s all over me.

I start cracking up behind Mason. “Looks like I’m not the only one with bad timing.”

Cooper and Jaylinn grumble.

Mason wraps his arms around me, “Yeah, I was starting to get jealous because you kept talking about Hunter’s naked ass.”

Jaylinn uncovers her eyes only to cover her ears and say loudly, “I’m not hearing this shit.”

Cooper turns and stalks into the living room. “Where’s Chaos? I hope to God you didn’t scare him to death.” He yells. I shake my head and smile to myself, Coop still refuses to call him Ryder.

“He’s sleeping, asshole.” Mason quips back.

I stand on my tip toes, “I’ll be right back. I’m going to go rinse off.”

Mason slaps me on the ass and I prance down the hall. I’m sure Mason has to be sticky as shit, maybe he’ll join me. I stop in the guest room to grab a clean pair of yoga shorts and my sports bra.

I go into the bathroom and start the shower, letting the water warm up. I look at myself in the mirror and for the first time in weeks I actually look like my old self. Of course the afterglow of sex is helping too. It feels so easy falling back into routine with Mason.

I pull Mason’s shirt over my head and step into the shower. I’m working the shampoo into my hair and I feel a cold draft, I spin to make sure I closed the curtain and I damn near fall on my ass. Mason is watching me.

“Damn it, Mase! Why do you always sneak up on me?”

He chuckles and looks at me with hooded eyes again. “Oh no, not again. Not with Coop and Jay downstairs.”

Mason lets his already unbuckled pants drop to his ankles and his cock springs free. He stands in front of me in all his naked glory. His six foot frame steps in the shower and he towers over me.

“You keep looking at me like that and I’ll take your sweet little ass up against this wall.”

I gasp, “You wouldn’t.”

Mason raises his eyebrows at me and has me pinned up against the wall before I even realize what’s happening.

“I warned you.”

Mason’s husky voice sends shivers down my spine. He did warn me and I pressed my luck, and I’m so glad I did.

A half hour later, with noodles for legs and a soreness between my legs, we are cuddled up on the couch downstairs. Jaylinn has her head resting on Cooper’s lap and Cooper is watching ESPN. Mason sits exactly how Cooper does, on the other side of the couch, with me sitting in his lap.

I tap Jaylinn on the foot. “What are you reading?”

She looks up from her e-reader, “Fallen Crest High by Tijan.”

“Any good?”

“It’s one of my favorite books ever. It’s only like the tenth time I’ve read it.”

I laugh at her. It must be good if she can read it that many times.

Cooper looks over at me with a serious look on his face. “Did you know people write about dinosaur porn?”

I stare at him for a second, waiting for him to crack a smile but he doesn’t. Mason’s whole body starts to shake and before long we are both laughing so hard I get a cramp in my stomach. I climb off Mason’s lap and lay out on the floor, holding my side while I try to stop laughing.

“Laugh it up, assholes. That shit is disturbing.” Cooper says over our fits of laughter.

“Baby its ok. Some people have a fetish with that shit.” Jaylinn starts giggling and I can see her trying to force her face to keep serious. “Although I do wonder,” She taps her pointer finger on her lips, “What was the name of that book? Shit, I forget, but it was something about being rammed by a dinosaur. I can’t imagine that would be pleasant.”

Mason and Jaylinn fall on the floor laughing, right alongside me. Forget my side hurting, my whole body hurts. Jaylinn keeps talking through her laughter, “I wonder how T-Rex masturbates with his little T-Rex arms?” More giggles.

Cooper tackles Jaylinn on the floor and kisses her so she stops talking. I start to calm down and roll over to cuddle into Mason’s side, giving Cooper and Jaylinn their moment. It’s not like they have many of them so I don’t want to be the cause of interrupting.

Mason places a kiss on the top of my head. “Damn that felt good to laugh like that.”

“Mmmhmm.” I run my fingers up and down Mason’s chest. I look up at him and kiss those full lips that I love so much.

I take a quick glance over at Cooper and Jaylinn and they’re just lying there, Cooper staring intently into Jaylinn’s pretty blue eyes.

I fake a yawn, “I’m calling it a night.” I nudge Mason. Cooper and Jaylinn haven’t acknowledged me.

Mason follows my lead and he stands up and pulls me to my feet. I walk over and grab the monitor off the end table. I take Mason’s hand and we head down the hall, as soon as I take the first step I hear Cooper yell, “Wake me up for practice in the morning.”

“Yeah, alright.” Mason yells back.

Mason and I are lying in bed, facing each other, arms and legs tangled together. We keep kissing each other but not taking it any further. I’m so helplessly in love with him that I can’t see straight right now. He understands me when I don’t understand myself half the time. He knows my wants, my needs, my passions. He’s perfect, caring, affectionate, understanding and absolutely sexy.

“Mase,”

“Boo,”

I squeeze my eyes shut, my heart feels like it’s about to beat out of my chest. Mason kisses both of my eyelids. “I need you to tell me the truth about Lily. I want what we had here tonight, Mase. I hate not being by your side, in your bed. But I can’t move forward without knowing.”

Mason sighs and pulls me closer. “I want this too, Hailey. I had plans to ask you to move in with me. I was going to ask you the morning after the bachelor party.”

I frown as my broken heart shatters even more.

“I’m going to tell you everything; it’s killing me to keep it from you. I’m trying not to break my promise to you. Just give me a little bit more time.” He kisses me. “I love you more than anything, Hailey. I’d even give up baseball for you. Just …” Mason takes a deep breath. “I need a little more time.”

I nod, if I open my mouth to speak I’ll cry and I’m not crying anymore tonight.

Mason and I eventually fall asleep just after midnight but we are woken up shortly after by Ryder crying.

Mason throws back the covers, “I’ll go get him.”

I hear Mason walk into Ryder’s room, “Hey buddy.” There is some rustling and then a snap, “Damn kid you stink.” I start to giggle. “Alright buddy lets go get a bottle and cuddle with Aunt Hailey.”

Mason and Ryder come back to the room and I move over so Ryder can have the middle. Mason climbs in after getting Ryder settled with his bottle. I’m so in awe of this man. I have no clue what I’m going to do if he keeps hurting me.

Mason reaches for my hand above Ryder’s head and then he lays his hand on my hip. “I love you Hailey Madison Taylor.”

I close my eyes and a tear slides down my face. “I love you too, Mason Jonathan Cahill.”

With my eyes still closed I fall to sleep with my dreams of one day having this with Mason.

- Mason -

After Ryder finishes his bottle I carry him back into his room and try to catch a few hours of sleep.

The alarm goes off at five and I’m still exhausted after only managing three hours. I look over at Hailey’s sleeping body and I never want to be separated from her again. She’s the one for me, that much is clear. Last night sealed the deal. Hailey is the type of girl that will put everyone else before herself, make sure everyone is happy before she makes herself happy. She’s been through so much shit with her family that no one should ever have to deal with and I am going to make it my mission to see that she never deals with it again.

I regrettably untangle myself from her naked body and go to wake Cooper for practice.

When I walk downstairs Cooper and Jaylinn are already sitting at the breakfast bar, drinking coffee.

“So Masey, you and Hailey?” Jaylinn questions me.

I shrug. I’m not sure exactly what we are right now.

Cooper stands up and goes for another cup of coffee. “You fucked her in our sister’s house, in the kitchen dude, and all you can do is shrug?”

I walk by and smack him upside the head, “Yup and you aren’t going to say a word about it to Kenzie either.”

“Hell no I’m not. I’m staying far away from that.” Cooper says.

The three of us talk for a little while before Coop and I leave the girls and Ryder to head off to practice.

17

Stupid Girl

- Hailey -

I wake around ten and I feel the panic quickly. Mason is gone, I can’t feel his body heat, but he never woke me to make sure I kept an ear out for Ryder. I throw the covers off and run into his room. Jaylinn is sitting on the floor playing with Ryder’s blocks as he is sitting in her lap, attempting to eat the block in his hand. Thank God those things are plastic.

“Morning Sunshine.” Jaylinn greets me.

“Damn, I was in a panic for a minute. I didn’t hear Mason leave this morning and thought Ryder would be in here screaming his head off.” I take a seat next to Jaylinn and Ryder on the floor and pick up a block, twirling it around in my hand.

Ryder squeals, I reach out and grab his little hand, “Morning monkey.”

I look over to Jaylinn and she grimaces a little. “What’s the matter?” she says.

“Damn rug burn.” I start laughing. “It’s not what you think, jackass.”

I roll my eyes, “Yeah sure.”

“It wasn’t! Coop and I were playing around. I tried to get away from him but he caught me by my feet and dragged my ass across the floor back to him.”

I laugh harder, “Didn’t you have pants on?”

“Oh whatever.” Jaylinn huffs and blows her bangs out of her eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“When are you and Coop ever going to get together? Everyone knows you two are fighting your feelings for some reason and it makes no damn sense, Jay.”

“It’s complicated.”

“What isn’t complicated anymore?”

Jaylynn shrugs, “Every time I try to get close to him he shuts me out and then things are weird for a few days afterwards.” Jaylinn shrugs and looks hurt.

“What’s so complicated about your relationship? Is it because of baseball? And your soccer? Both?”

Jaylinn just shrugs.

“Do you want me to have Mason try to talk to him?”

“No.” She shakes her head.

Ryder starts getting fussy. Poor little guy is drooling like crazy.

“Don’t panic, but I think you need to run out to the store and get Ryder some teething medicine. He’s putting everything in his mouth and he’s really cranky. Kenzie left a note.” I laugh once, of course she did. “She said if he’s really cranky to put Baby Orajel on his gums but I can’t find it anywhere.”

“Aww, Monkey are your teeth bothering you?” I coo to him. He reaches for my finger and tries to stick it in his mouth.

“See.” Jaylinn says while reaching for a teething ring I didn’t notice on the floor.

“Alright, I’m going to go throw some clothes on. You’ll be ok with him until I get back?” I ask Jaylinn as I stand up.

“Yup, we’ll be fine.”

An hour later I walk into Walgreens, pushing a shopping cart down the baby aisle. I grab the Baby Orajel and then swing around to the next aisle to grab some snacks.

I stop dead in my tracks. Lily is standing there. She hasn’t noticed me yet and I could easily back up and leave but before I get the chance she looks up. Panic flashes across her face.

“Oh hey, Hailey.” Lily says as the panic leaves her face. Lily is a nasty person and cries for attention from anyone that has a dick. It’s a shame that her good looks were wasted on such a sleazy whore bag.

Someone clears their throat behind me. I turn and I’m almost face to face with Brittany.

Fuck!

This situation could go one of two ways. I could completely ignore them and leave or I can stay and stand my ground. I’ve never fled before and I’m not about to start now.

“Well who the fuck do I owe this surprise to?” I say with a sweet voice.

Brittany walks past me and stands next to Lily. I look down to what Lily has in her hands. Two different kinds of pregnancy test.

What. The. Fuck?

“What idiot would fuck you without a condom? He’s gotta be fucking stupid.”

“That fucking idiot would be Mason.” Brittany taunts.

I want to punch this bitch in her face. There isn’t an ounce of relation between her and her step-brother and step-sister. She’s vile. I pity any man she ever ends up with.

Lily plasters a fake smile on her face, “You know how Mason can get so caught up in the moment he forgets to use a condom sometimes, and now look what’s happened.”

I feel all of the air leave my lungs. Please, please, please let me have misunderstood what she just said.

“Mason’s not sleeping with you Lily. I’d know if he was.” I would. Jaylinn or MacKenzie would tell me. Wouldn’t they?

Lily lets out an evil laugh. “I don’t recall seeing you at any of his away games. Mason got me a room every time they were away so we could spend some time together. He’s a wild one in bed.”

She’s lying. She’s fucking lying.

“Looks like Blondie here doesn’t know, Lil. I thought Mason was going to tell her right after the wedding.” Brittany says as she twirls her blonde hair around her finger.

Lily looks over to Brittany, “He hasn’t had a chance yet.”

“So that night at the bar wasn’t your first time?” I barely get out.

“Oh no honey, we’ve been at it for months. You just caught us at the bar. Mason couldn’t help himself.” Lily explains.

Mason wouldn’t do something like this. He told me just last night that he loved me. He made love to me yesterday, twice.

“He’s been sending me flowers for the last two weeks, Lily. If he’s fucking you why is he still trying to get me back?” I ask through my teeth.

Brittany doesn’t miss a beat and answers for Lily, “He was just trying to smooth things over before the wedding. He didn’t want to cause anymore drama.”

I’m going to be sick. I leave the shopping cart in the middle of the aisle and run to the exit. I barely make it to the car before I empty my stomach on the pavement.

“Hailey?” I heave again. “Hailey, are you alright?”

I’ve gotten everything out I think. My stomach feels all twisted, I’m clammy and sweating. When I look up Cole is standing beside me, holding my hair.

“Are you ok?” Cole asks with concern.

I wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. “I’m fine. Just not feeling well.”

I hear the evil bitch and her twin walk out of the store, laughing. Cole goes stone solid next to me when he sees Lily and Brittany. As luck would have it, I’m parked right next to Lily’s car. They walk over and Lily eyes Cole. “Hey Cole.”

What the hell is going on? Please let this be some fucked up dream. How in the hell does she know Cole?

Cole puts his arm around my shoulder, “Come on, Hailey. Let’s get you in the store and find something for your stomach.”

We leave Lily and Brittany laughing as we walk away.

After I ensure Cole that I’m fine I drive back to MacKenzie’s house. I never question Cole about how he knows Lily because I’m not sure I can handle anything he might tell me right now.

I leave the car running when I pull into the driveway. I run in and hand Jaylinn the Orajel.

“Hailey what’s wrong?” Jaylinn asks as she takes the bag from me.

Ryder is sitting in his highchair. “I’ll be fine. Can you keep an eye on Ryder until I get back?” I tell her. “There is an emergency that came up and I have to figure out what’s going on.”

Jaylinn’s eyebrows burrow but she doesn’t question me. “Yeah, sure.”

I kiss Ryder on his head. “I’ll text you as soon as I figure out what’s going on.”

“Alright.”

I don’t look back at her as I leave. I get back in the car and text Mason.

Me 12:11p.m.: Meet me at your house. We need to talk.

I go over to Mason’s house and let myself in with the key that he gave me months ago. I go into his room and let all my anger out on it. I tear his clothes out of the closet and throw them all over the room. Tears are streaming down my face. I open his drawers in his dresser and dump everything out. How could I have been so stupid? How did I fall for his lies? I pick a signed baseball that is on his dresser and throw it at his closet door. There is a picture of him and me from this past summer, we’re lying together on the beach, I heave it at the wall. I run my arm across the top of his dresser knocking everything else that was on there off. I go over to his desk and do the same thing; papers go everywhere, his laptop crashes on the floor. I stomp on it and the screen cracks.

I storm out of Mason’s room and grab a knife from the kitchen then go into the living room. I go to work on cutting all the wires for his x-box, cable box and his TV. I knock his DVD stand over and all the DVDs fall to the floor. I pick up another picture of us both at one of his games. I have my legs wrapped around Mason and he’s kissing me. It’s one of my favorite pictures. He looks so hot in his baseball uniform. I fall onto the couch where I cry and cry and cry. Sobs rock me so hard I can’t breathe and I beg the next breath not to come. I don’t want to feel the pain, the betrayal, the heartache.

Once I’m all cried out, I sit in complete silence in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth until Mason comes home.

18

Bitter end

- Mason-

Practice drags at a snail’s pace today. Come to think of it Mondays just suck in general. I just want to go home to Hailey and finish what we started last night. When it is finally over I take a quick shower, wrap a towel around my waist and head to my locker. I pick up my phone before getting dressed to see if I missed any calls or texts. I see one from Hailey telling me to meet her at my house. Strange.

“What’s up with you?” Cooper asks as he roots through his locker for his clothes.

I tap out a quick text to Hailey.

Me 4:15 p.m.: Heading out in 15 mins. See u soon.

“I got a text from Hailey asking me to meet her at our house.” I answer him. I set my phone on the shelf and start to get dressed.

Cooper pulls a shirt over his head. “Hmm, I got one from Jay asking if everything was ok.”

I look to Cooper and give him a ‘what the fuck’ look; he shrugs.

Fifteen minutes later we manage to get out of there with no one wanting to talk about the upcoming away game on Wednesday.

Cooper calls Jaylinn when we are in the car. “Hey.” Cooper drums his fingers on his leg. “She didn’t say what the emergency was?” Cooper looks over to me. “Alright. I’ll see you soon.” Cooper ends the call. “All Jay said was that Hailey ran out to the store to grab something for Ryder and when she came back she said there was an emergency and she would text Jay as soon as she found out what was going on.”

I’m worried, what the hell could have happened? “Where’s Jay now?”

“At Kenzie’s. Drop me off there and then go home and see what’s up with Hailey.”

Whatever is happening with Hailey I know it can’t be good. This makes me shudder at the thought of the last time Hailey said there was an emergency. She never used the word emergency unless it truly was one. We set a rule years ago that if something really bad ever happened at home that she would just text emergency and I would come running.

At the end of Hailey’s parents’ divorce, right before her dad moved out, things turned ugly and mainly for Hailey. I got a text from Hailey one winter night when she was around fourteen. I had just gotten my driver’s license and she sent me a text in the middle of the night to come and get her. I jumped out of bed and rushed to her house. When she got in the car all I saw was red. I was livid and she hadn’t even explained yet. Hailey had a cut on her eyebrow, thankfully it didn’t look like she was going to need stitches but then she turned on the light and I saw a black and blue mark forming on her cheek.

“Hailey, what the fuck happened?”

She didn’t answer.

“Hailey I need you to tell me right now. I want to go in that house and beat the living shit out of your dad.” I said with rage dripping from my words.

“I’m fine Mason. I just needed to get out of that house. Can you take me back to yours?” Hailey whispered.

I took a quick glance over at her and she was holding the side of her face where the black and blue mark was.

I didn’t say anything else. Hailey wouldn’t tell me. She was closed off; she was protecting herself and me. I hated that she wouldn’t tell me but I understood that she knew if she did I would stop at nothing to get to her piece of shit dad.

When we arrived back at my house I expected her to go to MacKenzie’s room, at least for a little while, but she didn’t. She bypassed it and went right into mine. I followed behind her and closed the door. Hailey took her socks and shoes off and climbed in bed. I pulled my shirt off, then left to go to the bathroom so I could grab her some pain medicine and a cup of water. I went back to the room handed them to her before turning the lights off and climbing in bed with her.

I was still pissed off and irritated so I didn’t pull her to my side like I normally did. After a few minutes I heard her sniffling and then I felt like an asshole. I turned on my side and wrapped my body around her.

“It’s gonna be ok, Hails. I’m sorry I was acting like a jerk.” I whispered in her ear.

She sniffled again. “This was my fault. I egged him on. I don’t know why but I was sick of his shit Mase.”

“It doesn’t matter what you did, Hailey. He shouldn’t be laying a hand on you.”

Hailey wiped her eyes with the palms of her hands. God I hate that she is going through this. I wish there was something I could do. I knew if I talked to Mom and Dad that they could probably do something, but Hailey made me promise that I wouldn’t and if she ever needed their help she would go to them.

“He came home late from work and was drunk. He was pissed that his dinner was cold and he blamed it on me; said I should have kept it warm.” She turned her body so she faced the ceiling. “I told him if he didn’t get home so late it would have still been warm.” Hailey took a breath. “He picked up the first thing he could lay his hands on, which happened to be cordless phone, and threw it at me. I tried to duck but I was too slow. Then I was in shock and holding my eye so I didn’t see him walk over to me. He slapped me across the face and told me to never talk back to him.”

I swore under my breath and turned Hailey so she was facing me. “I hate that man, Hailey. I’m so sorry he did that to you.”

“It’s ok Mase. I’ll be fine.”

I knew she wouldn’t be fine deep down inside though, and my heart broke for her. I wanted to keep her locked away in my room and never let her leave.

I drop Cooper off and tell him I will text him as soon as I find out what the hell is going on. When I pull into the driveway at my house Hailey’s car is there. I turn the engine off and run up to the house.

“Hailey?” I call out.

No answer.

I kick my shoes off by the door and take the few steps that lead upstairs two at a time.

“Hailey?” I yell out

Then I notice the scene before me. My living room is fucked up. My DVDs are thrown around, all the wires to my cable box, TV and x-box are cut and the cushions for my couches are spread out all over the room. Hailey sits in the only recliner, rocking herself. She has her knees drawn up to her chest. Her face is blotchy, eyes are red and puffy and her hair is all crazy.

I kneel in front of Hailey trying to see if she is hurt, “Hailey? What the fuck happened? Are you ok?”

I reach for her and she flinches. “Don’t fucking touch me Mason!” Hailey yells.

I hold up my hands in surrender. Something is seriously wrong. “Hailey, tell me what happened. Are you hurt?”

She stares at me like I’m stupid. “Yeah I am hurt, Mason.” She says in a calm voice.

Panic starts to set in, “Boo, please tell me what happened. Where are you hurt? Talk to me.”

She laughs an evil, sick laugh that hits me right in the gut. “You want to know where it hurts? My heart Mason! You fucking ripped my heart out, stomped on it and then fed it to the wolves.”

My stomach turns. “What are you talking about, Hailey? I don’t understand.”

She stares at me. I feel her reach in and grab my soul. “I woke up this morning and had to run out to the store to get something for Ryder. Well I wasn’t expecting to run into Whore 1 and Whore 2 when I was there.”

She stops talking and the world around me stops, very, very slowly. Without her saying their names, I know exactly who is she referring to. What the hell did Lily and Brittany do? FUCK! I’ve waited too long to talk to Cooper and figure this shit out. She knows the secret I’ve been keeping and she is blaming me.

“I guess I hit my target huh, Mason? Feeling a little guilty now that you got caught?”

I have to figure out a way to explain why I didn’t say anything to her. “Hailey it seems really bad but I don’t think it ever happened.”

Before I could finish she cuts me off. “You don’t think it ever happened? That’s rich Mason, really rich.”

“I didn’t get a chance to figure out what I was going to do about it yet.” I say.

Hailey again cuts me off. “There isn’t much to figure out now, Mason. Lily told me everything that has been going on for god knows how long now.”

I’m confused. “What are you talking about? What’s been going on?”

She laughs once, “Why are you still hiding it Mason? Lily told me everything. Are you really going to break my heart even more and make me repeat it?”

I didn’t think this could break her heart. She would be hurt that I didn’t tell her, yeah. “Hailey this doesn’t have anything to do with you and me. I mean, I get that you’re pissed that I didn’t tell you but I promised I wouldn’t ask you to keep secrets anymore.”

Hailey stands up from the chair and it causes me to fall back on my ass. “Ok Mason, you want to play stupid? That’s fine.” She starts pacing back and forth in the only area not covered with my shit. “At the store, when I turned down one of the aisles, Lily was standing there shopping for a pregnancy test.” She stops walking and looks over at me. I’m not shocked; actually I’m a little surprised that this hasn’t happened to her sooner. “A pregnancy test, Mason. She thinks she’s having your baby.” Hailey starts pacing again.

What. The. Fuck?

Now I’m stunned, shocked, “What do you mean mine? I haven’t touched that whore in years, Hailey. There is no way in hell it’s my kid.” My heart is pounding a mile a minute. “You actually believed her?”

Hailey snaps her head in my direction. “What the fuck do you think? She said she’s been staying with you while you’re on the road. You get her a room at whatever hotel you’re staying so you can spend time with her after the games.” Hailey huffs. “I can’t believe I was that blind and didn’t see it. Does Cooper know, Mason?”

Anger is setting in deep in my bones. She can’t be serious. “You really believe her; you aren’t even going to listen to me are you?”

Hailey nods. “What do you expect, Mason? You haven’t told me shit about what happened at the bar.”

I pick up the remote control that is sitting by my side and throw it as hard as I can. I’m boiling in my own skin with rage. The remote crashes somewhere in the kitchen, just over Hailey’s head; I glare over at the angry woman in front of me and her eyes are wide. “You. You actually believe those tramps over me?”

Hailey looks scared now. “I’m not always there, Mason. You will not tell me what you’re hiding. What the hell am I supposed to believe?” Hailey starts to cry. “I wasn’t enough for you was I, Mason?”

I have to get the hell out of this house. I’m going to do or say something that I don’t want to. I can’t even see straight right now. I stand up and walk over to Hailey and get up in her face. “I didn’t fuck her and I have never given you a reason not to trust me. Ever. I love you Hailey but if you believe this shit then you are fucking stupid and you’re as bad as them.”

I clench my fist and walk past her to my room. When I open the door my vision goes blurry. She’s trashed my room and destroyed my shit. I punch my bedroom door with my fist, turn and leave this fucked up situation behind.

If she wants to accuse me of cheating I might as well do it.

* * *

An hour later I’m sitting at the bar, the bartender is keeping a steady flow of beers coming. A few local fans bought me a few shots and I gladly accepted. On my way over I call up a few of the guys from the team and ask if they want to hang out. I never did bother to text Cooper and I don’t plan on it either. I’m sure Hailey is crying on Jaylinn’s shoulder by now. I can’t believe she wouldn’t even listen to what I had to say about any of it. I thought our relationship was strong but I was so very wrong. This destroyed me.

Pat walks in first. He slaps me on the back as he takes a seat next to me. Then Carlos, Chase and Shane follow behind him.

“Damn, Mase, Coach is going to be pissed.” Chase says as he takes a seat next to me.

“Don’t give a shit.” He’ll have to deal with it just like I will.

Shane reaches over and pushes on my knuckles. “Fuck!” I grit out.

Shane shakes his head. Carlos smacks me in the back of the head. “That hand’s probably broken, asshole. You need to go get that shit checked out.”

Pat shakes his head and whistles, “I don’t want to be in the locker room when you walk in tomorrow.”

They’re making a big deal out of nothing, my hand is fine, it’s just a little sore. I order another round of beers for all the guys. A band is setting up on the stage, and of course it’s Cole’s band. This damn day just keeps getting better and better.

The guys and I are all sitting around, bullshitting about the game on Wednesday, when a shot is placed in front of me. I glance up to the bartender and he nods towards the end of the bar. Cole is standing there, he holds up his shot. I hold mine up and then take it. I should have sent it back but I’m already feeling a little drunk and the more alcohol at this point the better. Cole motions with his head to follow him.

I hop off the stool and follow Cole down a hallway that I’ve never been down before. “How are things with Hailey?”

I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Not so good?” Cole questions.

I laugh, “Not even close but I’m sure you’re happy about that, huh?”

Cole has a serious look on his face, “No man I’m not. Look, I don’t know what happened between you guys but I know you both love each other. I told Hailey this and I told her to just let you explain, but from the way you’re acting and seeing you here I guess you haven’t talked to her.”

I take my hat off and run my fingers through my hair. “Hailey and I are done. She’s all yours.” I turn and leave before he can even respond. I don’t even want to think about Hailey at this point.

When I go and sit back down with the guys they tell me I’m four shots behind. They call the bartender over and he places the four shots in front of me. I take all four and chase them down with my beer. The band starts playing and the bar is packed. I’m feeling really good right now, everything is numb and I couldn’t give two shits about anything. If Hailey doesn’t want me there are plenty of other girls who do.

Two girls come over on cue and claim Carlos and Chase. A few minutes later another fine looking blonde comes over and asks me to dance. I’m so drunk I barely make it off my chair, Pat gives me a hand. The blonde leads me out onto the dance floor and she wraps her skinny arms around my neck. I place my hands on her hips and we start dancing and grinding on each other. I know I’m being sloppy because everything keeps moving and I stumble a few times.

After a few songs I say to the girl I’m dancing with, “Let’s go grab a drink.”

I sling my arm around her shoulder and we leave the dance floor. I take my seat next to Pat and pull her on my lap.

She orders us two beers, “Thanks sunshine.” I don’t know her name and I don’t really care. I doubt I’ll remember it anyway. Plus her hair reminds me of the sun.

“You’re welcome, hot stuff.”

Pat and Sunshine start talking about baseball and I’m kind of lost in my own drunken haze. I need to get the hell out of here and go home but first I have to go to the bathroom.

“Be right back. Save my beer for me.” I slide her off my lap and damn near fall on my face but Pat is there to break my fall.

“Whoa there, big guy.” He says as he steadies me. “Where you going?”

“Bathroom.” I start to walk away but Pat grabs my arm, turns me and sends me in the other direction. I trip over my own two feet, the fucking floor keeps moving.

“Damn bro, I don’t know how you’re going to make practice tomorrow.” Pat says as he is there to catch me once again, apologizing to the people I run into.

“Who gives a fuck about practice?” I slur.

“Obviously not you.” Pat quips back.

We reach the bathroom and he pushes me in. I do my business, wash my hands and splash some water on my face.

When we make it back to the bar, Sunshine jumps up out of my seat; I sit and pull her back down on my lap. She starts talking to Pat again. I take a few more sips of my beer and the sounds around me start to fade out. I place my head on Sunshine’s back, needing to rest my eyes for just a second. Then everything goes black.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” The yelp hits my ears like a freight train.

What is that god awful noise?

“WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

I roll over and groan. My stomach rolls but then settles again.

“MASON!”

I open my eyes but I can’t see anything, it’s all blurry. Something hits my knee, it fucking hurts.

“Get up Mason!”

I blink a few more times. “Coop?”

“Yeah it’s me. What the fuck is she doing here?” Cooper seethes.

“Who?” I croak out.

“You know damn well who.” Cooper is breathing hard, he’s pissed.

I try to sit up and the room spins. I try again and this time I actually make it into a sitting position. I think I would rather be dead right now. I feel like someone is trying to crack my head open and pull my brains out. My eyes feel sticky and they burn. My stomach is trying to crawl out of my body and I’m pretty sure I’ve killed my liver.

After a few minutes I find my focus and look around my trashed room. Cooper is standing next to my bed with his arms crossed.

A girl’s voice that my brain can’t decipher says, “Masey?”

I turn and look for where it came from. I have to turn my body since my brain and eyes decide that they can’t work together. As I start to turn I notice I don’t have any clothes on. Shit this isn’t good. I turn all the way around and everything stops and then hits me like a ton of bricks. I leap from the bed and dash for the bathroom where I throw up everything that is in my stomach.

What did I do?

19

Broken

- Hailey -

The seven stages of a breakup.

Everyone handles breakups differently, no person is the same. Breakups are messy. Rarely ever are they nice, clean and all tied up with a bow.

Stage One: Shock and Denial.

When Lily told me that she’d been sleeping with Mason and she could be carrying Mason’s child, reality crashed hard. My initial thought was that she was lying. Mason would never cheat on me. But then quickly the denial turned into shock. Lily has no reason to lie to me. What would she benefit from Mason and me breaking up?

Stage Two: Pain and Guilt.

The shock turned into pain. My mind started playing tricks on me - a flash of Lily and Mason hugging and kissing; another of Mason rubbing Lily’s protruding stomach; then the image of Mason proposing to Lily and the two living happily ever after. But then very quickly my pain turned into guilt. Mason has always been there for me. He’s my rock. He wouldn’t hurt me like this.

Stage Three: Anger.

Why is this shit happening to me? What did I do? Was I not enough for Mason? Did he regret me being in his life like my Dad did? Did he ever really love me? All of my anger boiled over and I let it all out by destroying Mason’s things. If he could crush me so easily I was determined to hurt him anyway that I could.

Stage Four: Reflection and Loneliness

This is where I currently am. Mason just threw a remote at me, well not at me, but in my direction. Flashes of my father throwing the phone at me flood my memory. I freeze in fear. Mason storms past me towards his bedroom. I hear a loud bang down the hall; I glance in the direction the noise came from. He is standing in the doorway, and even from this far away I can see how rigid his muscles are. Mason’s livid. I’ve moved on from anger. A few minutes later he stomps past me, leaving a trail of blood behind him. As he turns to go down the stairs I catch a glimpse of his right hand, his pitching hand, it’s dripping with red. In this moment I know things are going south and fast for Mason and me, and in a blink of an eye he’s gone.

Mason and I have always been passionate about each other, at least that’s what MacKenzie, Jaylinn and Chloe have told me. We are either on the same page, where nothing can stop us as long as we have each other. Or we are frigid towards each other and we can’t see what is right in front of us. I thought after we decided to try and have a relationship that we would be great for each other. We were for a while. I guess you can call it the honeymoon stage; but then shit got real, secrets were kept and love was destroyed.

Our first real fight happened during my blissful prom weekend. I thought we were going in one direction but Mason had other ideas. A lot of things changed for me that year.

After Mason and I had sex together for the first time, I thought we were finally going to become a couple. Boy was I wrong. Mason took great care of me after it was over and was really sweet. He ran a bath for me and I convinced him to join me. After the water had turned cold Mason helped me out of the tub and we spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other arms. I had blocked out everything else about that night, I was enjoying my bliss.

The next morning was like someone had flipped a switch. When I woke up, Mason was gone. I got dressed and went in search of him. MacKenzie and a few of our other girlfriends were already downstairs and dressed for the beach.

“Morning Hails. The girls and I are gonna go down to the beach for a little while, you want to come?” MacKenzie asked.

I gave her a little head nod to follow me. I walked a little further down the hall so that the other girls couldn’t hear me. “Have you seen Mason?”

“Yeah. He’s already on the beach waiting for us. Him, Cooper and Hunter went for a run early this morning and then we all decided to go spend the day relaxing. So, um, are you ok?” MacKenzie shifted nervously from one foot to the other. “You know with everything that went down with Matt last night?”

Whew. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. Mason and I talked about it last night and I’m actually happy things worked out the way they did.” I was worried that MacKenzie found out about Mason and me before I had a chance to tell her.

“Oh good.” She kind of looked a little upset but now wasn’t the time or place to tell her what really happened last night.

“I’ll run up and change into my bikini and meet you down here in a second.” I ran back up the steps before she could even answer me.

I changed into my white bikini with black stargazers on it, grabbed a towel and my sunglasses and then ran back downstairs. MacKenzie, all our friends and I grabbed a bunch of snacks, drinks and towels, locked the door and went down to the beach.

Once we passed the sand dunes, the guys came into sight and it felt like someone reached into my chest and pulled my heart out. Mason, Cooper and Hunter were down there with a bunch of girls hanging on and all around them. This was the norm for them but seeing it now, after having sex with Mason, stung.

I pushed forward and tried to act like things didn’t bother me but I was pissed. I sat on the opposite side of our group, the furthest I could get from Mason. When my friends went into the water with the boys I stayed back. I was acting childish but Mason hadn’t acknowledged me at all and that fucking hurt. Finally, a few hours later and still nothing from Mason, I’d had enough. I claimed I had a headache and went back to the house alone. I took a quick shower and climbed into my bed in MacKenzie’s room. Later that evening MacKenzie woke me up and said everyone was going to dinner. I kind of felt bad for ditching earlier so I decided I would go with my friends and try to get out of this funk.

When we arrived at the restaurant I thought it was only going to be us girls but I was wrong and should have known better. The boys barely ever let MacKenzie or me out of their sight. Mason, Cooper and Hunter were already there with their posse of girls from earlier. I was stuck, with no way of getting out of here now. Dinner was painful. Mason ignored me and I was starting to regret last night. If I had known things would have changed like this for us I never would have had sex with him.

After dinner we all decided to go for a walk on the boardwalk. I talked myself into sticking it out with my friends. Surprisingly the night was turning out to be a blast. We were playing games, running into other kids from our school, taking turns on rides and eating ice cream. I forgot all about Mason until I walked around the side of the water gun game and saw him kissing the girl that had been hanging off him all day. I froze; I couldn’t get my legs to move. When the kiss ended Mason looked over at me for the first time all day, eyes wide. He’d been caught. A tear slid down my cheek, I was pissed and hurt. I turned and ran the entire way home. I didn’t stop until I was behind the closed door of the bedroom. My phone had been blowing up with calls and texts the whole way. I ignored them all. As I slipped out of my sandals I quickly tapped out a text to MacKenzie, letting her know that I wasn’t feeling well again and I was home in bed. I powered the phone off and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up extremely early the next morning. The sun wasn’t even up yet. When I sat up there was a single rose sitting on my bed with a note from Mason asking me to meet him down on the beach. I knew it was a bad idea, I should’ve just ignored him but I couldn’t leave things unresolved between us. We were entwined in each other’s lives.

I threw on a light pink halter and tan shorts. I had done my hair with a side braid, slipped on a pair of pink flip flops and went down to find Mason. He was sitting out there all alone, watching the sun rise. I should have taken a picture of him sitting like that. I cherished our times when it was just the two of us, or when Mason didn’t think anyone was watching. That was the Mason I wanted, not the one that showed up yesterday.

I took a seat next to him and waited for him to talk.

“I know I was an asshole to you yesterday. I’m sorry. It wasn’t right.” Mason finally said while looking over at me for the first time.

I fiddled with my fingers in my lap. “Do you regret it?” The question had been burning for me to ask it. I needed to know.

“No. Not at all.”

I believed him; Mason had no reason to lie. But I felt like there was more he had to say. “But,”

Mason sighed loudly. “But it can’t turn into anything Hailey.” Mason shook his head. “And I feel like a dick.”

I begged the tears not to come. Could I handle losing him? Did I ever really have him? No, I didn’t, but I could handle it and this would just make me stronger. I needed to be brave, needed to prove to Mason that I didn’t always need him.

I held my head high. “I wasn’t expecting it to Mase, but I wasn’t expecting the cold shoulder either. You kissing that girl yesterday was fucked up, especially after our night. It was like a slap in my face.” I laughed nervously trying to stay brave. “Thank god it was only my v-card.” I shrugged. “No big deal.” I lied. It was really a huge fucking deal to me.

Mason looked over at me like I’d lost my goddamn mind and I probably had. “It is a big deal, Hailey. My life is crazy right now. I don’t have time for a girlfriend. I have games until the end of month, I get the first two weeks in June to myself, then the summer league in Cape Cod starts and right after that college ball starts.” He dug his heels into the sand a little more. “I wish things were different but the timing just isn’t right. You and MacKenzie are going to be starting college in the fall. You don’t want to be tied down right now.”

I cut him off before he could list all the reasons why he thought we should or shouldn’t be together. “Mason I get it. Baseball has always come first. I knew this years ago. You’re chasing your dream. I get it.”

Mason closed his eyes and dropped his head forward. He sat like that for a few minutes. “Kissing that girl yesterday was wrong and I’m sorry you saw it. That was the worst thing I’ve ever done to you and here you are being all understanding and shit. I thought you would be tearing me a new asshole. Hailey you deserve someone a hell of a lot better than me.”

I rolled my eyes. “I probably do but no one will ever compare to you, Mase.”

Mason put his arm around my shoulders, and we sat like it until the sun came up. A new day closed a chapter for Mason and me, at least for a little while. He chose baseball over me. I wasn’t angry with him but it would have been nice if things could have worked out a little differently for us.

After graduation I went out on a few dates, trying everything in my power to forget about Mason. I started drinking, getting careless and a little reckless. That’s how I chose to deal with getting over Mason. I had a few one-night stands, doing the walk of shame the next morning, but no matter what happened, my heart refused to give anyone a chance. Mason was my one that got away.

I am all alone. I am scared shitless about the future. After composing myself, I call Jaylinn and tell her I am on my way back and we will talk when I get there. I go back into Mason’s room and pick up one of the pictures of us to take with me. I lock up the doors and go back to MacKenzie’s house.

I explain everything to Jaylinn and Cooper. I apologize for sticking Jaylinn with Ryder all day and I apologize to Cooper for laying all my problems about Mason out on him. Both say there is nothing to be sorry for and they are the ones that are actually sorry if what Lily said is true. They both leave and promise to call me tomorrow. I really wish MacKenzie was here, I need my best friend.

I pick up Ryder from his highchair, and sit and watch cartoons for the rest of the night until he falls asleep in my arms. I am on autopilot mode, just coasting to get by.

Did I just make a huge mistake?

Did I just lose the one, my mirror, for good?

As time passes a sinking feeling settles over me that I had seriously over reacted.

20

Just a fool

- Mason -

I’m lying on the cool bathroom floor. I’ve finally stopped throwing up. I swear to God I’m never drinking again. What the hell did I drink last night? I’ve gotten wasted more times than I can count but nothing like that. There is a tap on the door, and it rings loudly in my ears.

The door opens; Cooper steps in and throws a towel over my naked body. He shuts the toilet lid and takes a seat. “You want to explain what she’s doing here?”

I squeeze my eyes shut, “Quit talking so loud, asshole.”

“I don’t think I’m the asshole here this time.” Cooper deadpans.

I force myself to sit up. My stomach rolls with the movement but I’m able to keep the bile down. “I have no idea what the fuck happened, Coop.” I adjust the towel to make sure I’m covered. “I remember coming home and fighting with Hailey. I stormed out and went to the bar with Pat, and some of the guys. We were drinking and bullshitting about the game on Wednesday. Things get hazy and I don’t remember anything after that.”

“How did you get home?” Cooper questions me.

“I told you dude, I don’t remember anything after sitting around with the guys.” My whole body is aching right now. I feel a massive headache coming on. “Shit! What time is it? Did I miss practice?”

“Not yet. I came up here to wake you up and found you with her.” Cooper stands up and holds a hand out to help me up. “Take the trash out and then we need to talk.” I grab Cooper’s hand and he helps me up. I throw on a pair of sweats that are lying on the floor and go find out what the hell happened last night and to put the trash on the curb.

I push open my bedroom door and Lily is sitting up in my bed, wearing the shirt that I had on last night. I park myself on the end of the bed because I’m not sure how much longer my legs can hold me up.

“What the hell happened last night? I want the truth, Lily. You do know what that is, right?” I can’t even stomach looking at her. I can’t stand myself right now. I just did the worst thing possible to Hailey. Everything she accused me of doing, I just did it.

“I came over and asked you to dance with me so I could talk to you about what happened earlier. I didn’t want to talk in front of your friends. I didn’t know you were wasted until you tried to get up. Actually you were ossified. We didn’t get much talking done. You pulled me back to your place at the bar. We were all sitting around talking and then one thing kind of lead to another and here I am.”

“What the hell happened with Hailey? Why did you tell her we’ve been sleeping together?” I say through gritted teeth.

She laughs. “She actually believed us? We were just messing with her. I really didn’t think she’d believe us. Oh my God is she that dumb?” I snap my head in her direction and glare at her. “Well, that explains why you were so drunk and this happened.”

I shake my head. “Are you fucking kidding me, Lily? Do you know what the hell you did? What you caused?” A part of my future is gone; a part of me. I royally fucked up. There is an ache in my heart and I have no one to blame but myself.

Lily pushes the blankets off and comes to kneel behind me, resting her hands on my shoulder. I jump up from the bed.

Lily holds her hands in surrender. “Jeez, relax Mason. I’ll talk to her and just tell her we were messing around. No big freaking deal.”

I’m clenching my teeth so hard it’s only a matter of time before they break. “No big deal? I lost her Lily, all because of you. You pushed her too far.” I yell.

She flinches. I run my fingers in my hair, pulling on it hard. It does nothing for my headache but I have to do something with them or I am going to beat the shit out of Lily. I would never do it but she is damn close to pushing it.

I don’t want to ask this but I needed to know. “Did we,” I cleared my throat a few times. The bile was threatening to come up again. “Did we fuck last night?”

Lily doesn’t answer.

I look down at her. Her head hangs and her hands are folded in her lap. “Lily?”

She looks up to me with an emotionless face and nods.

This can’t be happening. It’s not true. I refuse to believe it. “You’re fucking lying, Lily. I blacked out. There is no way.” I shake my head back and forth. I drop to my knees; my legs refuse to hold me up. I’m shaking, muscles taut; I break out into a cold sweat. All the air in my lungs is sucked out.

My door creaks, “It’s time to go Lily.” Cooper says.

I sit up, begging for the air to come back into my lungs. I’ve had anxiety attacks in the past and that exactly what’s happening now. I can’t see or hear anything around me. All I hear is the blood swooshing in my ears.

“Breathe, Mason.” Cooper says to me. “In through your nose, out of your mouth.”

I do as I’m told. I look up to my brother and say, “You heard her?”

Cooper nods.

“She’s lying right? She has to be, Coop.”

Cooper leans against the door frame, arms crossed. “I don’t know bro, I just don’t know.”

I rest back against the wall, “I did this to protect you guys, Cooper. I fucking screwed everything up.”

Cooper’s arms fall to the side, “What did you do Mase? Stop being so cryptic.”

I take a deep breath, my lungs burn from the tightness. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s too late to fix it.”

Cooper sighs loudly, “Whatever you say.”

I can’t go to practice like this. I can’t deal with the questioning stares. “Tell Coach I’ve got the stomach flu, will ya?”

“He’s gonna be pissed, you know this right? He could handle the stomach flu but Mason you gotta get your hand looked at.” Cooper is staring down at it. I can’t even feel it. I can’t feel anything at this point.

I get up off the floor and go into the bathroom and take the hottest fucking shower I can. I wish I could burn off everything that happened yesterday from the time I opened my eyes. Maybe this is just a nightmare and I’ll wake up soon. Not likely but its wishful thinking.

* * *

Later that afternoon, after I’ve cleaned everything in my house, I go over to my parent’s house. I need some advice from Mom. I take my bike instead of my car and I go the long way to their house, the sound of the bike drowns out the voices in my head.

When I arrive at Mom and Dad’s, I go straight in and head for the kitchen where Mom normally is.

“Hey Mason.” Mom greets me. She’s got Ryder on her hip.

“Hey Ma.” I take a seat on one of the bar stools.

Mom puts Ryder down in the highchair and comes around to wrap her arms around me from behind. “Oh my God! Mason what in God’s name did you do to your hand?” Mom grabs my wrist and takes a closer look. “You have to have that checked out, Mason. I’m guessing Coach doesn’t know yet?”

“No. Not yet.” I’m going to regret punching that door tomorrow when he gets a look at it. I guess I’m going to be taken out of rotation for this. Hopefully it will only be for tomorrow and then I’ll be ok to pitch next week. And that’s only if Coach doesn’t kick me off the team.

Mom walks over to the freezer and gets an ice pack out, wraps it in a paper towel and then gently lays it on my busted knuckles. “Talk to me Mason?” She asks, “I know something is up, it’s written all over your face.”

Mom lays a hand on my shoulders. “I think I really screwed things up with Hailey.”

Mom lets go and takes a seat on the stool next to me. “I figured something was up. I know Hailey’s been upset but when she dropped Ryder off this morning she looked like hell, kind of how you look right now.”

I rest my elbows on the table and tell Mom everything that has happened, from me not really kissing Lily at the bar, to keeping something that could possibly hurt our family. From Sunday, after our game (leaving out the sex part of course), to waking up the next morning thinking we actually had a chance of getting back together, and then from coming home from practice yesterday to waking up this morning. I even tell her about blacking out and Lily claiming we slept together.

Mom pats my arm, “Well Mason, you’ve put yourself in quite a mess.”

I nod in agreement.

“Do you honestly think you slept with Lily?” Mom asks seriously.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “No, I really don’t. What the hell do I do Mom?”

Mom stands up, grabs two coffee mugs and fills them with coffee and places them on the table in front of us. “Well, I think you need a break from all of this, Mason. You need to stop trying to protect everyone. I know you don’t want to see your family get hurt, but Mason, you can’t stop everything.” Mom scoops two sugars into her coffee. “Learn to put yourself first. Once you’ve learned how to do that, you fight like hell for what you want and stop at nothing to get it. Just like what you’ve done with baseball.” Mom walks over to the fridge and grabs the creamer.

I sit and stew about her advice. She’s right of course, Mom’s always right. I’ve always put everyone first to protect them. I’ve done it with MacKenzie so many times that I’ve lost count. I’ve done it for Hailey in little ways, and now I’m protecting Cooper. It’s time that I stopped. I’m tired of all this. I’m tired of always getting the shitty end of it.

“Thanks Ma, and not just for the advice, thanks for everything you’ve done for me.” I glance over at her and she’s smiling brightly at me.

“You’re welcome, Sweetie. Be the Mason that stops for nothing to get what he wants. I know he’s in there but you need to find him.”

A few hours later I’m lying on the floor with Ryder when someone rings the doorbell.

“I’ve got it.” Mom calls out to me.

I push the rattle closer for Ryder to grab. He’s babbling like crazy and I’m talking right back to him when Mom comes into the living room. I glance over at her and see that Hailey is standing there with her.

Shit!

21

Save me

- Hailey -

When I woke up this morning I had a text from Mom telling me that Tara is coming for dinner. Tara doing something with the two of us means only one thing - she needs money. Tara moved out of home and in with her boyfriend right out of high school and has never looked back, that is until she needs something from Mom. I am in no mood to deal with my bitch of a sister today. Thankfully, when I dropped Ryder off with MacKenzie’s mom this morning she asked me to come over for dinner since it’s just her tonight.

When I pull up to MacKenzie’s parent’s house I’m surprised to see Mason’s bike in the driveway. I didn’t want to deal with Tara tonight and I definitely don’t want to deal with Mason. After twenty minutes I talk myself into going in the house. I’d rather deal with Mason than Tara. I ring the doorbell. I’m still not comfortable walking in after all these years, even though they tell me to every time I come over. I stand there and wait, Elle answers the door.

“Hey Sweetie.” Elle opens the door wider to allow me to walk in. “You could have let yourself in. We’re playing with Ryder.”

I follow Elle into the living room. Mason is lying on his stomach facing Ryder. It just makes seeing him harder. I want that life with him so badly but I’m furious about everything that has happened and nothing will change it at this point. Our feelings are hurt and we both need to heal.

Mason looks like he’s seen a ghost; I guess it really is a surprise that I’m here. I just hope he knows I’m not here for him. I know things will be uncomfortable for everyone while Mason and I go through our break up but I’m not going to cut them out. They are my family too. “Hailey.”

I look over at Elle and she’s watching us with that mom look. The one that says, ‘now children play nice.’ I smile over at her, letting her know that everything will be fine. I take a seat on the couch; Mason sits up and faces me.

He looks like hell, as I do. We sit in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say or do. Elle walks over to Ryder, picks him up and leaves the room. I guess she senses our need to talk, and now it’s just the two of us with this ugly cloud looming over us.

“I’m sorry.” We both say at the same time.

“Go ahead.” I tell Mason.

“I’m sorry, Hailey. I fucked up. I was trying to keep my promise to you by not asking you to keep a secret for me. I shouldn’t have done that. I know you think that something went on with Lily at the bar but it didn’t. She was pissed because I stopped her from causing a possible shit storm.” He gets up off the floor and sits on the other end of the couch.

I flinch when he says ‘my family’; I thought I was part of that. I guess I thought wrong. “Is what you’re keeping that important that you would let me believe that something happened between you two?”

Mason considers my question before answering. “Yes and no. Yes because I didn’t want her ruining Hunter and MacKenzie’s wedding and I don’t want her to come between Cooper and Jaylinn.” My eyebrows furrow in confusion. “But it wasn’t worth ruining us. It actually doesn’t have a damn thing to do with us. I asked you to trust me, Hailey. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?”

I answer honestly. “No you haven’t, Mason. But what’s done is done now. I can’t help how it felt seeing you with her.”

He nods in agreement. So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours.

“What’s this big secret anyway? Will you at least tell me now?” I’d really like to know what has Mason going through all this trouble.

Mason shifts on the couch so his body is facing mine. “I’m not sure if it’s even worth telling. It has nothing to do with us, like I said, and it’s not going to change the way things are now.” He mumbles something about last night but I don’t pay him any mind.

I turn my body to face him and fold my leg under me. “You’re right. It’s not going to change anything, Mason. Too much has happened. Secrets were kept and lies were told.”

He runs his fingers through his hair, something he always does when he’s nervous. “Yeah you’re right. Some things need to be cleared up though. So I’m going to tell you any way.” He looks up at me and watches me closely. “First, I never cheated on you. I talked to Lily this morning,” This morning? What the hell? “And she said that she and Brittany were just messing around with you.” I’m about to protest and tell him he’s wrong but Mason cuts me off. “It was wrong Hailey, more than wrong. It was sick and cruel but you should have known better.”

I open my mouth and then shut it just as quickly. He’s right in a way. I should have given Mason the benefit of the doubt. He always tried to call me every spare minute he had when he was on the road. Mason always tried to keep me in the loop, even going as far as taking pictures of different things and texting them to me so that I felt like I was there with him.

“The reason I never said anything about this secret was because I didn’t know if Lily was lying or not. Honestly, I’m not at all sure right now and I wasn’t about to start something right before the wedding. But what I’m about to say doesn’t leave us no matter what.”

Mason waits for me to agree. “Alright.”

He looks intently at me, “Lily claims that Cooper slept with Brittany,” I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. “A few years ago. Now after all the shit that those bitches started I don’t know what to believe.” I can’t fucking believe it. “Lily said that it happened over a spring break. I remember going there but I think I would remember Brittany. I think Cooper definitely would have remembered banging her. I’ve tried to hint around about it but he’s given me nothing.”

I remove my hand from my mouth and ask, “Do you think he did?”

Mason regards me, “Honestly, I have no idea. Sometimes I think maybe he did, and other times I don’t. You know how Cooper and Jaylinn’s relationship is. Christ just look how they were on Sunday night. They were all over each other but Cooper won’t have sex with her.”

Mason is absolutely right. Cooper will not sleep with Jaylinn no matter what. No one can figure out why and when we bring it up Cooper and Jaylinn both just tell us to drop it. Could this be the reason why he won’t? I mean, it makes sense. If Cooper realized that he slept with Jaylinn’s step-sister he’d be afraid that he’d lose Jaylinn. But then again, if what Lily says is true, it happened years ago, long before we knew Brittany, Hunter, and Jay were related. How pissed could they be over a mistake made years ago? Cooper didn’t know. Hell, Hunter was partying with his step-sister and didn’t know it.

“I think you need to talk to your brother, Mason.”

“I had planned on it after the wedding but haven’t found the right time to bring it up. I planned on making everything right with you after I talked to Cooper. Clearly things never go as planned. I’m sorry I kept this from you and let it taint us, but I have to put my family first.” Mason answers.

The ‘my family first’ comment feels like another slap in the face. I wanted to be Mason’s first. I closed my eyes. “Why couldn’t you put me first, Mason? Why couldn’t I have just been enough for you to pick me first?” I cry.

Mason makes an attempt to move closer but I put my hand up to stop him.

“I made a mistake, Hailey, I see that now. Every time I try and protect someone it backfires in my face.” Mason says back as his voice cracks.

I open my eyes and blink the tears away. “And it cost you our relationship this time, Mason. We were great together.”

Mason lies back against the couch and stares up at the ceiling. “I know, Hailey.” Mason huffs and scrubs his face. “But I think I fucked up even more last night.”

I raise my eyebrows up in question. “What do you mean?”

Mason sits up and I can see the sorrow, regret and pain laced on his face. “I’m gonna destroy any hope that we have left.”

My heartbeat picks ups a notch, my hands are clammy. “What did you do?”

Mason looks me right in the eyes. He’s teary eyed and Mason doesn’t cry about shit, but the words that come out of his mouth breaks my heart, my mirror, in a million pieces and I don’t think it will ever be whole again. “I think I slept with Lily last night.”

22

Let her go

- Mason -

Hailey is just sitting there staring at me. I’m not sure she even heard what I said. “Hailey?”

She starts shaking her head back and forth and then all of a sudden the tears start. I try to fight back my own tears. “I blacked out last night, Hailey. I went to the bar and just drank until I passed out. I was pissed and hurting. I needed something to stop those feelings. My fucking world is crashing around me. When I woke up this morning Lily was in my bed.” I hear Hailey gasp but I don’t dare look over at her. I need to be able to finish telling her what happened. “I swear I don’t even remember seeing her in the bar at all. I was so fucking pissed off that she made you believe I was cheating on you with her that I wanted to fucking kill her. So I’m pretty sure I would have remembered her last night. I don’t remember much after running into Cole.”

I wasn’t sure if she was still listening because she was crying so hard, but I had to tell her. “I’ve never lied to you and I’ve always been honest. You deserved to hear this from me, no-one else.”

When Hailey calms down enough to speak, she asks, “But regardless, there is a chance that you slept with her?”

I nod.

“But you blacked out, right?”

I nod again.

“How the hell did you even get it up Mason? We’ve tried the drunken sex when we were both three sheets to the wind and your dick never worked. There is no way you slept with her.”

I scrub my face with my hands. She doesn’t think that I slept with Lily even though I woke up next to her after binge drinking myself into oblivion, but she thought it was possible before when the only proof was nothing more than two bitches spewing lies? I’m agitated, I can’t even sit. I stand up from the couch. Hailey stands and I stop in front of her, “You want to think she’s lying now? Really Hailey? You couldn’t believe in us before?” I yell at her.

Her anger flashes in her eyes, making them brighter, and her cheeks flush. “I don’t know what to believe Mason!”

I’m breathing hard, trying to keep my anger under control as much as possible. “I guess our relationship isn’t as strong as we thought, huh? You know Lily tried to sink her teeth into Hunter once before, why wouldn’t she try her hand again with me?”

Hailey screams, “I don’t know what to fucking believe!”

She’s lying to me. I know she believes me deep down but she just can’t admit it. “So if I told you she was better in bed than you. You would—-”

Slap!

Hailey slaps me across the face. “I fucking hate you Mason!” Hailey turns and runs down the hallway.

I run after her and grab her by the waist. “Let go of me, Mason.” Hailey sobs.

I grip her a little tighter. “I’m so sorry, Hailey.” I say as I kiss the side of her head. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, Hails.” I repeat over and over again until she stops fighting me. With her back pressed to my chest I walk us to the sitting room in the front of my mom’s house. Everyone hates this room, l the bad shit happens in here.

I sit and pull her to sit on my lap. I reach up and pull Hailey’s hand down from her face. Her mascara is running down her cheeks and her eyes are all red. “I didn’t mean it, Hailey, I’m sorry. I was an asshole.”

Hailey buries her face in my neck and just cries and cries and cries. We both know that it’s over between us. Neither of us wants it to happen but our feelings are hurt. We aren’t the couple that we used to be. I’m not the same Mason that I once was. I put everyone else before myself; I was trying to protect my family but at the same time I hurt Hailey. This girl has a list of insecurities that mostly stem from her father; it’s hard for Hailey to trust anyone and now she’s lost her trust in me. She never should have, but somewhere along the way it happened.

“I love you Mason.” Hailey whispers a while later.

My heart breaks all over again. This is her goodbye. Our love for each other isn’t enough. “I love you Hailey. I always will.”

I don’t want to let her go so I hold on for as long as she’ll let me.

I remember the first time I saw her. Her mom was out riding her bike and little Hailey was following behind her on her own bike with training wheels. Hailey’s blonde, almost white, hair was up in pigtails. Her mom was riding in the street so she could keep an eye on her daughter who was riding on the sidewalk. I was standing in the front yard playing catch with Cooper when I caught a glimpse of her heading our way. Hailey was starting to pick up speed. There was a pretty big crack in the sidewalk right before our house; I’d wrecked a few times when I hit it just right. I threw the ball to Cooper and just as it left my hand I saw Hailey hit the crack on the sidewalk. Her hands were trying to steady the handle bars but she wasn’t quick enough and tipped the bike over.

I dropped my glove and ran over to the little girl in pigtails. She was crying and holding her elbow. I dropped to my knees in front of her and saw that her knee was scraped up as well. Hailey’s mom ran over and helped her daughter up.

“Shh, it’s ok Hailey, it’s just a little cut. We’ll get you home and get you cleaned up.” Her mom told her.

“I have a band-aid in the house I can go get.” I said to her mom who then noticed that Hailey’s cut knee was still bleeding.

“Sure, that would be great. I’m Mrs. Taylor and this brave little girl is Hailey.” Mrs. Taylor said.

“I’m Mason and that over there is my brother Cooper.” I stood up and brushed the gravel off my knee.

“Hi Mason.” Hailey said, still hiccupping from crying.

From the very moment Hailey fell off her bike, all those years ago, I knew that I’d fallen for her.

Hailey’s hand slides down my chest to rest over my heart. “I think it’s time I go.”

I nod, not trusting my voice. The panic starts to set in that this will be the last time I ever hold Hailey like this. My breaths are coming in slow and shallow. I’m losing a piece of what I thought was mine forever.

Hailey hugs me one more time and I wrap both my arms around her, holding on to every last second that we have together.

Hailey starts to pull away. She places her legs on the floor in between mine. She looks over her shoulder before standing and says, “Remember that time when you told me that I lost my mirror?”

“Yeah.” I remembered it exactly. I’d told her that when she was ready for it that I would be here for her.

She looks straight ahead out the bay window, “You told me before that I was your mirror Mason, but the thing with mirrors is they shatter all the time.” Hailey sits for another few seconds and then stands up out walks to the front door leaving.

My mirror has officially shattered and I’m sure I’ll be cursed for the next seven years.

- Hailey -

When I left the Cahill’s house I decided to just go home, I really didn’t need to be dealing with Tara and her bullshit, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“Hailey?” Mom calls out from the kitchen.

I drop my keys in the glass bowl that’s on the table by the front door. “Yeah it’s me, Mom.”

“Come in here Sweetie.” Mom practically sings. If Tara wasn’t here I would think she had my favorite Vodka poured in the biggest glass that we own, but I knew this wasn’t going to go well.

I walk to the kitchen and decide that Chocolate Vodka sounds good right about now. I open up the cabinet above the sink and grab the bottle, then I reach into the other cabinet and get a glass.

“Honey, is that such a good idea?” Mom asks. Tara is just watching me move about the kitchen. She hasn’t said two words to me and I’m not saying shit to her.

I fill the glass halfway with Coke and ice and then finish it off with the Chocolate Vodka. I mix it around with my finger and take a sip, letting the first taste settle into my stomach and warm me up.

“So we have some news.” Mom says as she continues to stir the sauce that she is making.

I take a seat on the other end of the table, opposite Tara, and keep my eyes trained on my glass. I can feel her staring holes into my head. I’m not letting her get to me. I’m barely holding my shit together right now as it is.

“Oh yeah? What’s the news, Mom?” I finally ask since she doesn’t seem to want to tell me until I’m paying attention.

Mom says without missing a beat, “Tara is pregnant.”

My eyes fly to my sister’s. She is sitting there, looking down at the table like she’s trying to figure out how all that wood was made into a table. I’m not surprised by this; actually I’m kind of shocked it took her so long.

“Congratulations, I hope he or she turns out to be just like Satan.” I say to Tara and then get up from the table to head to my room and drink this night away.

Mom is staring hard at the sauce, “And she’s moving home.”

I walk over to where I left the Vodka on the counter, pick it up and start walking to my room. “And I’m moving out.” I throw over my shoulder.

I hear Mom cry out in protest but I don’t give a shit. How could she allow Tara to move back in with us? Mom knows Tara and I don’t get along, we are like oil and water. Plus, how would we all fit in a two bedroom house? I push my bedroom door open, start my iPod, take off my bra and shorts and then climb in bed with my new best friend, Vodka. I want to forget about Mason, mirrors, my sister, my mom, all of it. Tomorrow I will come up with a plan, but tonight I just want to drown in this bottle.

The next morning, while I’m at work, I put in my two week notice. I knew I needed to get away, start fresh somewhere else for a while. I called Bentley and took him up on his offer to come for a visit. I told him everything that had happened and he offered for me to stay for however long I needed, but he said he had to talk to the guys first. Apparently Logan had moved in a few weeks ago. Bentley said there was plenty of room in Hunter’s old room for Zeke and Logan to share, or they could fix up the basement and make a room down there for Logan. To be honest, after I’d found out Logan was there I started to hesitate. Logan was Brittany’s cousin and I had a little fling with him in my freshman year of college. I told Bentley he didn’t have to go through all that and I would figure something else out. He told me to think about it and I promised I would. Ten minutes later, after hanging up with Bentley, Logan was calling me and telling me he had no problem moving around and things wouldn’t be weird. I made him promise that he would never invite Brittany over while I was staying there. He agreed, and I agreed to move in. Everything was set. I was moving and transferring back to ODU in the fall.

23

Moving on

- Mason -

It’s Wednesday afternoon and I welcome our away game; I needed to get the hell out of town. I felt like I was suffocating in all of mine and Hailey’s memories. . We would arrive back home on Sunday and were expected to go to my parent’s house for dinner with Hunter and MacKenzie, who had just got home from their honeymoon. This is something I am not looking forward to in the slightest; MacKenzie is going to cut off my balls. Hailey and I promised her that we would fix things.

I keep to myself while we’re on the road. The rest of the world is going on around me while I feel like I’m stuck in time. I miss Hailey. I miss her smile, her blue eyes. I miss the way that I can make her laugh so hard she snorts, and the way her tiny little dimple on her right cheek shows when she smiles. I miss her kisses and her warm, soft body wrapped around me.

I growl in frustration as I pound my feet harder and harder on the treadmill. I woke up earlier than the rest of the team because I was restless and irritable, so I came down to the hotel fitness center for a run. My life is so fucked up. I’ve come clean with Hailey about everything but still haven’t talked to Cooper about it and I really don’t even feel like it’s important to me right now, not at this point. But it’s causing tension between us and I hate that.

Coach was pissed when he caught a look at my hand as we were boarding the bus on Tuesday. I tried to hide it and I think that pissed him off even more. He demanded x-rays when I told him it was fine. Coach said if it wasn’t broken then I could come and catch a ride with our assistant coach, Chris, since he was coming down later that night. Turns out it wasn’t broken but I wasn’t going to be pitching for at least a week. That’s how my bad luck started. The ride down to Charlestown, West Virginia, was long and quiet until just after midnight. I had just started dozing off when I was woken by a loud bang. Coach Chris’s car hissed, knocked, stuttered and then shut down. We had to call a tow truck and then find a cab company to drive us the rest of the way to the hotel. Thankfully we weren’t too far because the stench in the cab was nasty, like stale cigarettes and sex.

My legs are burning and my lungs are screaming but I keep pushing until I feel like I can’t go any further without falling. I slow the treadmill and start my cool down. Shirt soaked, skin flushed and body burning, I drag my ass upstairs to the room I’m sharing with Cooper for a much needed shower. After my shower and some breakfast, the boys and I went down to the field to face the Charleston Blue Jackets. The temperature’s in the eighties today, with a nice breeze blowing; the perfect weather for a game. By the bottom of the fifth, the game is tied at one run each. The guys are all in pretty foul moods. No one is really getting any decent pitches and we need this win. At the top of the eighth, Duff from the Blue Jackets tries to run home but runs Jacks, our catcher, off the plate by shoving him out of the way. The umpire calls Duff out. Jacks jumps up like it’s no big deal and runs to the dugout, since that is the third out. Mills, our Pitcher, saw the whole thing and started having words with Duff. Duff shoves Mills and then all hell breaks loose and now the field is just one big brawl. After everything settles, the game starts back up and we win four to one.

When the whistle has blown, we go back to the hotel and do our own things. I stay back and try to catch up on sleep since I’m not really getting much at night. This is how the rest of the week goes. We win three out of our four games, but by the end of the fourth I am even more frustrated and miserable. I need the distraction of pitching to keep my mind from wondering what Hailey is doing, but that’s not happening because my dumbass decided to go and punch my door and fuck up my hand.

- Hailey -

After I made my plans to move down to Bentley’s, I gave Cole a call in the hope that he might be able to fill me in with a little about Monday night.

“Hey pretty girl.” Coles greets me.

“Hey.” I say, trying to keep all my emotions in check. Cole’s been a good sport through all this and I hate to feel like I’m dragging him into this but I need something, anything, at this point.

“Hailey, what’s the matter?” I should have known Cole would think there is something wrong. I think I only ever really call him when something is wrong, or if I need something. What a horrible friend I am.

I sigh loudly, “Were you at the bar Monday night?”

Cole must be outside because I hear someone in the background blowing their horn. “Yeah. I ran into Mason.”

I cringe. “Did you see him with Lily?”

Cole clears his throat, “I saw Lily, but she wasn’t with Mason. I tried talking to him, Hailey, but he was pretty toasted. I told him that I knew you both loved each other and I told him that you should give him a chance.”

Tears sting my eyes, “Alright, thanks.”

I hear Cole’s door slam and his car start up. “Why, what’s going on?”

I play with the hem of my shirt and don’t respond right away. I watch out the window as a car goes down my street. “Nothing. I just need to get the hell out of here for a while.”

“Talk to me Hailey. Can I do anything?”

I think Cole was put in my life for a reason. I’m not sure why just yet but I’m sure he was.

“No. I’m just going out of town to visit some friends.”

“Hang on.” Cole says.

After a few seconds he comes back on the line. “I’ve got some time on Thursday and I’m free up until Friday night. How about I take you to go see your friends?”

I smile just a little bit. “I think that would be a great idea.”

So for the next half-hour I tell Cole my plans to move to Bentley’s and he agrees to help me.

* * *

On Thursday afternoon, Cole shows up at my house and helps me load up his car with everything that will fit. I’m leaving my car here because I don’t think it will make it down to Virginia. I’ll miss having my wheels but I look at the bigger picture. I’m going to start off completely fresh, no baggage from my past.

“Hey pretty girl.” Cole greets me when I open the door. He takes in my appearance and his face turns into pity. Something I do not want.

I push the door open to allow him entrance to the house. “Hey. You ready to get this show on the road?”

Cole stops in front of my bedroom door, “No, not really. I wish you weren’t leaving.” He turns to look at me and holds his hands up in surrender. “I know, I know. You have to do this.”

I pat his arm, walk into my room and hand him a bag. We work for the next two hours, loading his car and throwing away all the stuff that I no longer want; basically erasing my old life away. I only keep a few things that mean a lot to me. When we’ve finished I take one last look at the house, turn and climb into Cole’s car and we pull out of the driveway.

Once we’ve passed the state line into Delaware I feel a sense of calm and peace wash over me. Like I really did leave my past behind and nothing will come back to plague me. I know this isn’t true because I’m a part of the Cahills, no matter what has happened or will happen in the future, they are my family.

Cole pulls into the gas station, cuts the engine and then looks over at me. “Want anything?”

I shake my head no. He goes and fills the gas tank. When he gets back in I try to hand him money for the gas but he refuses. We pull back out on the highway and then I remember what I wanted to ask him.

“How do you know Lily?”

Cole takes his eyes off the road and looks over at me. A few, long minutes go by and the question still hangs in the air, unanswered.

“Ok, how about we play a game.” If he doesn’t want to tell me everything about her that’s fine, but he’s going to have to give me something. This might not answer all my questions but I’ll get the point.

“Alright. What kind of game?” Cole asks.

I reach up and lower the radio. “Twenty questions. You can only skip two.”

“Five questions but no detailed answers.” Cole retorts.

“Deal. I get to ask first.” I’ll take anything I can get at this point.

“Deal.”

I want to choose my questions carefully. I ponder for a few minutes. “How did you meet Lily?”

“At my Dad’s over the summer when we were younger.”

Interesting.

“Is Lily the girl from your past?”

“Yes.”

“Did you love her?”

Please God say no, how could anyone love that whore?

“Yes.”

Gag!

“What happened with you two?”

He doesn’t even hesitate, “Skip.”

I huff. “Fine. Do you still love her?”

“No.”

“Do you still talk to her?”

“Not since the day we broke up.”

Cole looks over at me quickly and then returns to watch the road. “Alright pretty girl, your turn.”

Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice starts to play in the background. I look over at Cole, eyebrows raised. He looks over at me and starts laughing. We both reach for the radio at the same time. Cole glances at me and then drops his hand. I turn the volume up and roll my window down, letting the wind whip my hair around.

Cole starts singing and I start laughing. Damn it feels nice to laugh.

“Ice Ice Baby.” Cole sings.

“Word to your mother.” I sing back the next verse.

We both start jamming and singing along as the miles tick by, farther from my past, and closer to my future.

Let’s Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa comes on next. This time it’s me that starts singing. Cole is cracking up from me being so animated.

“You’re deflecting. I know what you’re doing, pretty girl.” Cole yells over the radio and my singing. I just nod my head to the beat.

Another hour passes and many songs later my voice is hoarse from singing and I’m tired. I roll my window halfway up and rest my head against it.

“Don’t fall asleep on me now. We’re almost there.” Cole says.

I yawn. “Just follow the GPS. I’m only going to rest my eyes.”

The last thing I remember is hearing Hunter Hayes talking about somebody’s heartbreak.

Cole pats my leg, “Come on, pretty girl, we’re here.”

I yawn and stretch. I look around and I see Logan and Zeke coming down the front steps. I jump out of the car and run up to Zeke, throwing my arms around him.

“Hails.” Zeke says as he swings me around in a circle.

“I missed you.”

Zeke sets me back down on my feet. “I just saw you.”

“I know.” I look over at Logan, “Logan.”

Logan winks, “Hailey.” Then he reaches for me and pulls me in for a hug. I sigh in relief. I thought things were going to be really awkward for us.

I turn to Cole, “Zeke and Logan, you remember Cole, right?”

“Yeah.” Both Zeke and Logan say in unison. I walk around to the back of Cole’s car and start grabbing my things. The guys follow suit and within an hour all my things are officially in my new room in Bentley’s house.

All the guys and Bentley’s sister, Nikki, are sitting around the table, drinking beer. I pull up a seat next to them and try to include myself in the conversation. I’ve caught Cole and Nikki eyeing each other a few times from the table. They’d make a cute couple, better than him and the whore.

Hours later and I’ve managed to whip up some Chicken Pasta for the guys, Nikki and Bentley, who’s not long arrived home from work. I spill some sauce on my shirt so I run upstairs to go and change, when I open my bedroom door and glance at my bed, I see a bottle of cotton candy vodka with a pink bow and a little card attached to it. I walk over and pick up the card.

Pretty Girl,

Hope this gets you through your sleepless nights.

Love,

Cole

P.S. Don’t be a stranger. Call me anytime.

I’m teary eyed; I really am a lucky girl to have found Cole. I just wish our timing had been better.

Someone behind me clears their throat and it causes me to jump. “Jesus, you scared me.”

Cole takes a step inside my room and wraps his long, strong arms around me. “I’m gonna miss you. I know that probably sounds weird considering we haven’t known each other long.”

I sniffle, “I’m gonna miss you too.”

Cole kisses the top of my head. “I’m gonna head out. I want to make sure I get some shut eye before the gig tomorrow night.”

I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, “You can stay here with me. I really don’t want you driving this late.”

Cole sticks his hands in his front pockets, “That’s probably not a good idea.”

I throw my arms around him, knowing this is probably the last time I’ll see him at least for a while. “Thank you for all your help with everything, Cole. I owe you.”

Cole squeezes me a little tighter, “You’re welcome. Now fix that broken heart of yours and we’ll call it even.”

I walk Cole out to his car, standing off to the side as he starts it up and puts it in reverse. “Bye pretty girl.”

I wave goodbye. Then something hits me. Cole never asked me why I was moving and not staying. “Cole!” I yell.

Cole stops and sticks his head out of the window. “Yeah?”

“How come you never asked me why I’m moving?”

Cole hesitates for a minute. “Because I already know.” He sticks his head back in the car and backs out of the driveway. He beeps his horn as he drives away. I’m left standing here, wondering how the hell he already knows.

24

Demons

- Mason -

Cooper and I arrive home late on Saturday night; I’m so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. I want a shower but it’ll have to wait. I walk into my room and pull my yellow t-shirt over my head and fall face first on to my bed. I take deep breath and immediately feel like throwing up. I can smell Lily on my bed, on my covers. Fucking Lily. I climb off the bed, walk to the hallway closet and grab the extra pillow and blanket that Hailey always made sure I had, in case anyone unannounced decided to stay. Hailey. Oh how I wish it was her that I could still smell. I throw the blanket down on the couch, followed by the pillow.

“What did that pillow and blanket ever do to you?” Jaylinn asks.

I whip around, she startled me. “Nothing.” I grumble and lay down the couch, covering my eyes in the crook of my elbow.

I hear Jaylinn walking around my living room but I’m not exactly sure where she is. “I heard about what happened.”

I growl. I don’t feel like talking about this shit.

“Masey,” Jaylinn rests her hand on my upper arm and pulls it away from my face. “I know how much you love her. I’m sorry that you’re hurting but I think this is best for the both of you.” I open my eyes and look over at her. “You both lost your way somehow, Masey.”

My hands ball into fists. I feel like beating the shit out of something but I know it’s only going to help for a few minutes and I think I learned my lesson when I punched my door.

“You know that saying? ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was’?” Jaylinn asks as she stands.

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with me and Hailey? We’re over, Jay.” I say as my voice cracks.

“Oh Masey, it has everything to do with you.” Jaylinn kisses my cheek and then goes to seek out Cooper.

I reach over to the end table and turn off the light. It’s so dark; I can’t even see my hand in front of my face. This is how I lie until my brain finally shuts down and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Cooper, Jaylinn and I decide to take our bikes over to our parent’s house today. I drag my feet all day until I can’t put it off any longer, Mom has already called looking for us.

“Masey!” Jaylinn yells from the front door. “Let’s go.”

I slip my wallet into the back pocket of my jeans, pick up my keys from the kitchen table and lock up the house. Jaylinn is wrapped around Cooper, both waiting on me. I slide my helmet on and fasten the strap under my chin, then I straddle my bike and start it up. This is one Sunday dinner I’m not looking forward to, even if Mom is cooking chicken cacciatore.

We pull into the driveway, turn off the bikes and I undo the strap under my chin. I climb off the bike and take a few steps to the house. The front door swings open and MacKenzie comes charging at me.

“What did you do, Mason?” MacKenzie yells at me. “You ran my best friend out of town!”

Out of town? What?

“What do you mean out of town?” I question her.

Hunter comes out of the house next and takes Ryder from MacKenzie’s arms. She doesn’t protest because now she is shoving me and pounding on my chest.

“She left, Mason.” MacKenzie cries. “I want my best friend back and I want my brother to fix this shit. You promised, Mase.”

I pull her into my arms and hold her until the fight starts to leave her. When I look around it’s just the two of us out here. Everything is so fucked up. Everything I touch, look at, put my hands on, goes to shit.

I drop my arms around MacKenzie. “I didn’t know that she left, Kenzie. I swear. Where did she go?”

MacKenzie glares at me. She has her arms crossed over her chest. “Why do you care? You are one of the reasons she left and her bitch of a sister is the other.”

“Tara? What did she do?”

MacKenzie huffs, “She got pregnant and is moving in with her mom, that’s what she did.”

Damn. That reason alone would have Hailey living in her car if she had to. “Shit.” I run both my hands through my hair. “Where did she go?”

“To Benny’s. Six hours away. I can’t very well go and see her any time I’d like now. You did this.” MacKenzie walks and sits down on the front steps.

I take a seat next to her. “I was working on Hailey. I went over to your house on Sunday and things were kind of back to normal. Cooper and Jaylinn came over too; it was just like old times.” I look down the sidewalk. “Then she ran into Lily and Brittany at Walgreens and they fed her some bullshit that I have been cheating on her for a while. Hailey believed them. She destroyed all my stuff and then texted me that we needed to talk. I showed up at the house and saw everything that she did.” I clasp my hands together, in front of me. “I was pissed that she believed them without even talking to me first and then I saw the destruction she’d caused and I lost it. I stormed out and met some of the guys from the team at the bar and then …” My stomach knots at the thought of what I did to Hailey and me.

“Then what, Mason?” MacKenzie questions.

“I got really drunk and blacked out. When I woke up the next morning Lily was in my bed.” I skip the details of being naked because I know she’ll think the worst anyway.

“You stupid asshole! How could you Mason?” MacKenzie seethes.

I don’t look over at her to see the rage in her eyes, the hurt. “I fucked up, Kenzie, I know.”

MacKenzie stands up and tries to shove me off the step before she turns to walk up to the house. “You’re damn right you did.” She says over her shoulder.

I sit out on the front steps, not really in the mood to enjoy family times. I don’t think I deserve to be in there, laughing and carrying on. Jackson and Chloe pull up a short while later. Chloe reaches in and unbuckles Alex from his seat while Jackson grabs their bags.

Alex comes up to me and holds his hand out for a high five. I slap his hand and he laughs. Chloe kisses my cheek and takes Alex’s hand, helping him up the steps.

“Everything ok, Little Brother?” Jackson asks as he follows his wife up the stairs.

I just nod and they walk past me and into the house.

I need to get out of here. I stand, reach into my pockets for my keys and walk over to my bike. I put the keys in the ignition, slip my helmet on, fasten it and then climb on; starting it up quickly and head back home. It was a bad idea to think I could come over here. No one coddles me because they know I don’t want it and I’ll only wind up saying shit to hurt them so they leave me alone. I’m bad company.

- Hailey -

Saturday night rolls around and I get the call I was dreading the most. MacKenzie.

I check all my emotions and smile when I answer the phone, “Hello.”

“Hails! I miss you!” MacKenzie yells in the phone.

I laugh, “Miss you too! Did you get your freak on in Atlantis?”

MacKenzie groans and I laugh harder, “Leave it to you to get right to the point.”

“No point beating around the bush. That is unless you like that type of thing.” I say between my fits of laughter.

MacKenzie starts cracking up. “Come over.”

I stop laughing. I hold my breath because I know what’s coming next. I don’t want to do this over the phone but since I left I have no choice.

“Hailey?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are you?”

“Home.”

“Hailey?”

“Yeah?”

“Come over.”

I take a deep breath. “I can’t.” I feel the sting in my eyes because I want nothing more than to run to my best friend’s house and into her waiting arms.

MacKenzie sighs loudly, “You ran didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

I spend the next hour telling MacKenzie everything that has unfolded in the last seven days. We cry together on the phone and she promises a visit next weekend, no matter what.

25

Better in time

- Hailey -

August

Three months later...

The seven stages of a breakup: Stage Five – The Turn

My life is finally starting to feel as if it’s getting back to normal. Things are calmer here and I’m not as angry as I was months ago. I feel like I’m ready to get back into the swing of things. Granted I haven’t spent much time outside the four walls of my new bedroom. Zeke helped me set up my room so the only time I ever have to leave is to go to the bathroom or eat.

A week after moving into Bentley’s house, MacKenzie, Hunter and Ryder came for a visit. There were lots of tears, drinking and carrying on. Friday night, when they arrived, MacKenzie showed up with two bottles of wine, The Notebook and chocolate. Of course I started crying the second my eyes landed on hers, I missed the hell out of my best friend. After I hugged and kissed Ryder all over, MacKenzie and I escaped up to my room while the boys all hung out downstairs.

We talked about Mason and Lily, a lot. She mostly listened and chimed in here and there. Our hate towards Lily and Brittany was mutual and we would plan to get our revenge somehow. MacKenzie told me she hasn’t talked to Mason much since the Saturday she found out I was gone. He pretty much kept to himself and still refuses to talk about what happened that night at the bar when all this drama first went down. MacKenzie said that Cooper has tried to get him to open up but he just avoids it at all cost.

MacKenzie wraps me in her arms, “Hailey, you’re like a sister to me and always will be. I need you to worry about you for a while, okay? Screw Mason and everything else that has happened. I want the girl that you use to be back. The crazy, sassy, not giving a shit about anyone or anything, Hailey. You lost her and I want her back.”

She’s right, I’m not the same. I’m sad and emotional. “I’ll work on it, for you and for me. Thank you for understanding and listening to Kenzie. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Two bottles of wine later, MacKenzie and I had passed out in my bed, cuddled up to each other. Hunter came to collect his wife but she looked too comfortable so he and Ryder left her there and went back to the hotel alone.

On Saturday, we took Ryder to the beach in the morning and then to Virginia Aquarium. Spending time with them made me ache for Mason and to feel like I still belonged in their family, but I felt a little off. Things feel a bit strained because, at the end of the day, MacKenzie is Mason’s little sister. Little things she does remind me of Mason and it stings. In a way, by spending this time with her I feel like I’m also saying a little goodbye to MacKenzie as well. I need the time to heal and make myself feel whole again. I love all the Cahills in their own way and would lay my life on the line for them if need be, but for right now I needed the distance. Saturday night I got a little bonding time with Ryder while MacKenzie and Hunter went to get new tattoos from Zeke. Bentley was stuck at work so that left Logan and I home alone with Ryder. Logan was great with him. He said he had become used to being around little kids since his sister had a baby, right around the same time MacKenzie did. MacKenzie called me later that night and said that they were going to be later than they expected. I told her I would keep Ryder with me overnight and give the two of them the night off. While MacKenzie was getting her tattoo, Logan met Hunter back at the hotel to get something for Ryder to sleep in. The end of the night wrapped up with Logan and I sleeping on the couch and Ryder in his pack-n-play.

Sunday morning came too fast and MacKenzie, Hunter and Ryder had to get on the road since Hunter had to work on Monday morning. I was really upset when they left and a few tears were shed. Logan swooped in and saved the day, though. He took me parasailing.

I couldn’t believe how well we were getting on, we chatted with ease on the way down to the marina, “I’ve always wanted to try parasailing but life always got in the way when I was down here the last time, you know.”

Logan turns his turn signal on when we come up to the traffic light. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Your freshman year wasn’t too much fun, huh? Seemed like there was drama following you and Kenzie everywhere.”

I laughed, “You can say that again.”

Logan looked over at me and frowned, “I’m sorry that I was part of that. I wish I would have tried harder to make you understand what happened in the library that day with Brittany.”

Later on, after we were on the boat, just off shore, I let all my worries go. Being above the water with only a parachute, the wind in my hair and the sun beating down, was kind of freeing. The view was beautiful; dolphins jumping and swimming underneath me, couples walking the beach, little kids building sandcastles and people playing and splashing in the ocean.

A few hours and lots of fun later, Logan asked, “You want to take a walk on the beach?”

I smiled over at him and agreed. “I’m not ready for this day to be over yet.”

Logan smirked, “Last one there is a rotten egg.” Then he took off like a bat out of hell.

I yelled after him, “No fair, your legs are too long.”

After Logan and I were done acting like little kids, playing around in the sand, writing our names in the sand and helping a little girl build a sandcastle, we went across the street to one of the best little places to eat, called The Raven. Logan and I sat in there eating and drinking for hours. I thought things would have been weird between us after I pretty much avoided him my whole freshman year, when I thought he was messing around with someone else on the side. I’m glad I cut ties with Logan back then; it just wasn’t in our cards to be together. Talking with Logan came easy, yeah the occasional fan came over and wanted to talk to Logan about the upcoming year and he nicely answered their questions and then dismissed them. If this was Mason he would have made them putty in his hands. Logan and Mason are so different and it’s kind of refreshing, but not, at the same time. Logan has the blonde hair that is all over the place but looked good, Mason’s hair is dark and he keeps a short. Logan is toned, but really skinny, with long legs, which works for him considering he’s a running back for ODU. Mason is toned but more filled out for his six foot frame. And the biggest opposite is the way they carry themselves. Logan is sweet, gentle, funny and caring. Mason is cocky, sarcastic, conceited, and temperamental on the outside, unless you know the real Mason; the one that is protective, caring, loving and affectionate.

After our second beer, Logan says hesitantly, “Bentley kind of filled me in on what happened with Mason.”

I set my beer down on the table, “Of course he did. Bentley’s like a girl when it comes to gossip.” I laughed.

Logan laughed right along with me and then his mood went somber, “I was surprised by all that. I thought that Mason and you would wind up getting married.”

My mood shifted again and the ache in my chest came back, but not for long. Logan started being really sweet, telling me all the things that I needed to hear. “There are more fish in the sea.”

I try to smile through the sadness, “I know but it doesn’t make it any easier.”

“True, but you’re too beautiful to be tied down by anyone just yet.”

And just like that my mood changed again. I smirk over at Logan this time, “Are you trying to get into my pants, Logan?”

He looks at me bashfully and then looks away at a couple walking in. “Things always have a way of working themselves out, you know.”

By the time we finish our beer I’m ready to go home and put this day behind me, and take another step forward.

Bentley got me a job answering phones, filing and performing general office duties at his aunt’s doctor’s office. The pay was good and it was close to the house so I could actually walk. Most of the time, one of the guys were around though, and they always offered to give me rides. I started pitching in for the bills and I felt more like I belonged now and not like a freeloader. Most of the nights I would cook dinner while the guys cleaned up afterwards. We all had a nice routine down.

Bentley is still throwing his crazy ass parties, which I only hang around at for a little bit. A few times I got pretty toasted and those were the nights that I missed Mason the most. Other times Logan and I would hang out, in either my room or his, watching movies.

The boys were pretty clean but I still refused to clean the bathrooms. It was bad enough I had to share a shower with them, I sure as shit wasn’t cleaning up after them. Bentley was still Bentley, playing his little pranks on me. I learned my lesson long ago to always check before you sit, you never know when he would put saran wrap on the toilet bowl. He even ruined Oreos for me. I had opened a packet and he got a hold of them one night when I went to bed and scrapped out the cream in the middle and replaced it with tooth paste. Most disgusting thing ever. He would often ask how I was doing and each time the answer was better. I wasn’t back to the old Hailey, and I don’t know if I ever would be. I felt like I grew up a little after all the Mason drama that went down.

Zeke had talked me into getting a tattoo. It took me about two weeks before I finally decided to just let him do his thing. There are four, pink, stargazer lilies on my right side. The first lily starts right where my bra lies - it was a fun time while that was healing - and the last one sits on my right hip. There are intricate lines that wrap all around the lilies, making it look even more striking and feminine. It hurt like a bitch and I whined the whole time but Zeke said I handled it like a champ. Once I got one I couldn’t stop. My next trip was for a tattoo and a piercing. The piercing is a dermal anchoring on my left hip that acted as a center for another flower that Zeke tattooed a week later. I am getting the other side done in the next week or so.

While life continued I do my best to move forward, but there isn’t a day that I don’t think about Mason. I miss him so much. Some days I feel like picking up the phone, just so I could hear that raspy voice that I longed for. I never do though, because the pain would only be worse in the end. I delete Mason from my Facebook account; change my email address and cell phone number. I feel like this is the only way to try and erase him from my life. I have to try to move on. Despite my progress, most nights I cry myself to sleep. One of the first few days I was there Logan heard me crying. He climbed in my bed and held me, trying to soothe my sadness. At first, being in arms not belonging to Mason felt foreign but there was something familiar about Logan’s embrace. He managed to ease my sobs until they were nothing more than a few stray tears and I fell fast asleep. It was the most peaceful sleep I’d had since things with Mason ended. From that night forward I have shared a bed with Logan. In the mornings Logan returns to his room and I go about my day. We haven’t talked about our sleeping arrangements but I feel a change with Logan. After he and I both get home from work I would catch him watching me. He always fixes me a plate of food while he gets his. Logan allows me to shower before him. I wonder about that one because he’s in there for an awfully long time after I get out. I try not to think about it but if I’m honest it kind of feels good knowing I affect him.

Just this morning, when I woke up, Logan was watching me sleep. I could feel his eyes on me before I even opened mine. When I rolled on my side to face him he lifted my chin so he could look me in the eyes. His face inched closer to mine, I froze. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this with Logan just yet but then I told myself to relax and Logan kissed my cheek, before rolling out of bed and leaving me there with my thoughts. Could this routine become something more? Could I actually start another relationship? Was I ready? Was Logan the right person to try that with? All these question swarm in my head.

After I’d finished getting ready for work I went downstairs to get my coffee. Logan was standing in the kitchen. He winked at me when I walked over to the coffee maker.

“Morning.”

I laughed, “Morning.”

I glanced down at the coffee maker and I see my travel mug is already made and waiting for me. I looked up to Logan smiling at me.

“Thank you.” I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him on his cheek but he turned and I kiss him on the lips. I freeze mid-kiss. His lips were different but familiar too. They weren’t the soft, pouty ones that I craved but they were warm and inviting. After a few seconds I broke off the kiss and stared at Logan in shock.

Logan mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “No you are not.”

He walked towards the fridge, “You’re right. I’m not.”

I smiled. I think I am actually ok with the kiss. “Don’t let it happen again.” I joked with him.

“Okay, whatever you say.” Logan said with his head shoved in the fridge, looking for something.

I grabbed my travel mug and started to walk away from him so that I could get to work on time but as I passed by him his hand came out and smacked me on the ass. “See you later, honey.”

I squeaked in surprise. I didn’t answer him back as I walked out of the house with a big ass smile on my face. Today was going to be a great day. The sun is shining, it’s not too hot and I just got my first, post Mason, kiss and I’m okay.

26

Casual sex

- Mason -

We’re on the road again, I can tell from the bed I’m sleeping in. It’s hard as a rock and the pillow is flat. I hate flat pillows. I don’t want to wake up just yet but the heat radiating on my back is making me uncomfortable. I know what I’m doing is wrong but I don’t give a shit. I have to do something to take away the stabbing pain in my chest, even if it’s only for a few hours.

I open my eyes; blink a few times to clear the fog. The room is still spinning, my stomach clenches. I take a deep breath and try to push it away. When I’m sure I’m not going to puke I notice the pasty white arm draped over my bronze skin, it doesn’t belong there. I try to move onto my back but her body is right up against me. Fuck it. I need a shower. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and start to sit up. I look around the room and there are clothes strewn everywhere. The lamp that was on the dresser has fallen over in my drunken frenzy with the cleat chaser who’s now in my bed. My clothes bag that was on the chair near the window is now empty. All my clothes are wrinkled and piled next to it. I stand up, letting the sheet fall to the ground, and make my way to the bathroom. The full length mirror that I pass on the way still has my hand prints from where I took her up against it. I reach in, turn the shower on as hot as it will go and step in. The shower doors click shut and it echoes. Even with the shower running it’s too quiet, I can’t stand when it’s quiet because then my mind starts wandering back to Hailey. It’s been months and I feel like I’m drowning. I thought the pain would have eased up by now but it hasn’t. Not at all.

Growling in frustration I quickly wash and turn off the water. As I’m stepping out, the girl, whose name I can’t remember, walks into the bathroom. I grimace at the sight of her; damn, those beer goggles were really working last night. She’s like a twig, and I hate that. Her rib cage, collarbone, and hip bones are sticking out. I like a girl with some meat on her bones; I want something to hold onto while I’m driving into her.

“Morning,” She croons.

Her voice sends a convulsion right through me. I need to get the hell out of here and fast.

I wrap the towel around me, tightly, walk over to the sink and brush my teeth.

“Morning,”

“It’s still the middle of the night, why don’t you come back to bed and we’ll pick up where we left off?” She says as she walks over to me and places her hands on my shoulders. I shiver but not in a good way, she repulses me. I can’t believe I fucked her last night, and where the hell was Cooper when I left with her? Cooper, that son of a bitch.

I try to play it cool, “Nah, I’m good. I’ve got some shit I have to take care of. You can see yourself out, I’m not gonna be back until sometime late tonight.” I turn and walk away from her before she can even respond.

I walk over and swipe my rumpled clothes from the floor. I find a pair of Nike basketball shorts, stick one leg in, and then out of the corner of my eye I see whatever her name is lean against the sink. Shit! I have to get out of here now. I can’t handle it when girls cry; she knew this wasn’t going to go anywhere. I pick up the first shirt I find, which just happens to be one of Hailey’s favorites, and tug it on over my head. I grab my wallet and cell off the nightstand, heaving at the smell of sex on the bed sheets. I hold my breath; slip on my Nike Sliders and bolt to the door without giving the girl another look.

I stumble into the hallway, still a little drunk from last night. I make it to the elevators and realize I have no idea where Cooper’s room is. I turn on my cell and notice it’s four in the morning. He’ll be pissed I’m waking him up two hours early but I don’t give a shit. I need to disappear before whatever-her-face sees me out here.

I call Cooper, his sleepy voice answers after the fourth ring. “Mase?”

My head feels like someone is jackhammering on it. “Coop, what room are you in?”

Cooper groans, “Room 823.”

I look around; the room across from where I’m standing is 208. I hit the elevator up. It dings and opens. “On my way up.” I step into the elevator and ride up to the eighth floor.

Cooper has his door propped open for me. I walk a little further into the room and sit on the empty bed. He never shares with anyone since Coach thinks we are always together. Coach doesn’t know that every night since Hailey and I split, I pay for my own room when we all come back from the bar. I shake my head in disgust; I’m doing exactly what Hailey accused me of. But this is the only thing I can do to help with the pain of losing her. I feel some sort of twisted connection with whoever I chose to sleep with, and that connection is what’s getting me by.

I look over at Cooper; he’s lying in his bed with his back to me. “Why did you let me take her back to my room?”

“I’m not your fucking babysitter, Mase. I’m getting sick of this shit, it’s been months and you’ve had a different girl practically every god damn night. You can’t sleep your way through this mess that you fucking created.”

I sit there and glare at him even though he’s not looking at me. I know he’s fucking right but he’s supposed to understand what I’m going through.

Cooper turns around to face me, “Don’t you think it’s time you stop this bullshit, Mason? I don’t even know who you are anymore. It’s embarrassing to be around you.”

The anger creeps up and I lash out. “You know what’s embarrassing?”

Cooper sits up, “What’s that, Mase? Did you get some kind of disease?”

“No, asshole, but you may have from sleeping with that cunt, Brittany.”

All the color washes from Cooper’s face, “How?”

I stand and pace back and forth but it’s more like stumbling around because of the alcohol. “How do I know?” Cooper nods once. His face is looking a little green. “Lily. That night at the bar when everyone thought I was kissing her, I wasn’t. I pushed her in that nook trying to scare her. She said she knew something about my family and I wasn’t about to let her ruin anything before Kenzie’s wedding.” I look over at Cooper and see him swallow hard and sadness starts to take over in his eyes. “Hailey walked out of the bathroom and thought we were hooking up. The dumb bitch smeared her lipstick so it looked like we did.” I’m still repulsed thinking about it. “Instead of running after Hailey right away and explaining what happened, I stayed, and Lily told me that she knew you slept with Brittany over some spring break and from the expression on your face I guess she was right.”

Cooper’s eyes close tightly and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t figure it out right away, Mase. It wasn’t until Hunter told me he thought it was Brittany that tried to run Kenzie off the road. I was keeping a look out on her Facebook, like Hunter was doing, to see if she’d make any stupid comments. One night I was going through her pictures and I stumbled across one. You can’t tell from looking at the picture because my face was turned into Brittany’s neck but I know it’s me. I remember bits and pieces from that night but there is no denying it was us.” Cooper drops his hand to his lap. “Jaylinn is never going to forgive me about that shit and Hunter …”

I state the obvious, “It happened years ago dude.”

We sit in silence for a little bit, both lost in our heads.

Cooper looks over at me, “You let that shit ruin you and Hailey?”

I look down to the floor, then back to Cooper, and nod. “I wanted to talk to you first. I didn’t know if what Lily said was the truth or not. We don’t need any more damn drama and I wanted to avoid it at all cost. Kenzie deserved to have the wedding that she did.” I shrug my shoulders. “It was worth it.”

“Is it still?”

I rest my elbows on my knees, with my hands clasped out in front of me, and hang my head. “Coop,” I close my eyes and flashes of Hailey’s face come flooding in. “I miss her. I’m miserable without her. I don’t know what to do.”

Cooper sits himself up in bed and lies back against the headboard. “Fucking around the way you are isn’t going to change anything. You need to deal with it dude, and not in that way. Talk to her about what happened, Mason.”

I lift my head up, “I explained everything to her at Mom’s that night we split but it was too little too late.”

Cooper looks over at me seriously, “Says who Mason? Where’s my pain in the ass twin that doesn’t stop for anything until he gets what he wants?”

I run a hand through my hair and sit up. “I don’t know, Coop. He disappeared when I lost her.

“That’s your first problem. Have you heard from Hailey at all?” Cooper asks as he yawns.

I slip my sliders off and lay back against the pillows. “Not a word. Maybe this is why it’s bothering me so much. She’s always been there no matter what, and now that she’s not I feel like a piece of me is missing.”

Cooper’s eyes grow heavy and he yawns again, “Maybe you need some final closure now that you two have had a chance to cool off.”

Maybe I do need to get some closure. “You going to talk to Jay?”

Cooper settles in bed, “I’ll have to eventually.”

I tuck my hands behind my head and rest my eyes. “So is it the Brittany shit stopping you from giving into Jay? Or is it that shit that happened back at school?”

Cooper responds groggily, “Both.”

I doze off, wishing I had some damn pain medicine for this hangover.

“Mason.” Hailey whispers.

I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands. What is she doing here? How did she find me?

“What are you doing?” Hailey asks.

I shake my head, trying to clear it. I know I’m drunk but not that drunk. “How did you find me? How did you get in my room?”

Hailey laughs. I turn my head side to side; I’m lying on the beach. The sun is shining brightly, waves crashing in the distance. I peek up at Hailey, with the sun shining on her hair it looks like it’s glowing. Her pretty blue eyes pop against her sun-kissed skin. I reach up to her face but when I try to run my finger over her lips it distorts. I blink a few times and she’s back.

What the hell did I drink last night?

Hailey starts crying, “What happened to us, baby? We were supposed to have our happily ever after.”

I reach up and try to wipe away the tears, but again her face garbles.

Hailey reaches up and wipes her own tears away. “When are you going to pick me, Mason? I want to be your first choice. You promised you’d always protect me but all you do is hurt me.”

My skin pricks with goose bumps. “I thought I was protecting you, Boo, but I see now that I wasn’t. I need you Hailey. I feel like my life is spinning out of control.”

“Oh Mason,” Hailey cups my face, “Prove it. Prove you need me.”

“I will, I promise. I’m done worrying about everyone else. I want to settle down, buy you a house. I’m ready to take the next step.”

Hailey gives me a small smile but tears still pool in her eyes. “I love you Mason.”

She pulls my face closer to hers and rests her forehead against mine. “I love you too Hailey.”

“Mason, come on dude get up.”

I inch slowly closer to Hailey’s lips. I just need one kiss. I need to know this is real.

“Mason!”

“Kiss me Hailey.” I whisper against her lips.

Cold water splashes my face and I leap from the bed. “What the fuck?”

Cooper is standing next to the bed with a bottle in his hand. “I’ve been trying to wake you up for a half hour.”

I wipe my face with my hands. “So you throw water on me?”

Cooper starts to laugh, “Well yeah. It was that or listen to you tell Hailey that you loved her.”

I freeze. “What did you say?”

Cooper shakes his head like I’m crazy. “You heard me, asshole.” He huffs. “You said you loved her and asked for a kiss.”

I look around the room, trying to find a clock. I can’t find anything so I walk over to my phone. We’ve got forty-five minutes before we have to leave, “I need a shower.”

Cooper chuckles, “Hurry up.”

I don’t give a shit that I already showered last night, I need another. I need to sort out what was real and what wasn’t. “Can you go grab my bags?” I toss my room key to Cooper before he can even respond.

“Mason, can you keep the Brittany shit between us? I’ll handle it.” Cooper asks seriously.

I quip back, “I haven’t said anything yet, have I?”

“True, but I was serious about last night. I need my brother back, this version of you sucks.” Cooper turns on his heel and leaves me standing in the middle of the room.

One thing’s for sure, starting today I’m done sleeping around. It wasn’t helping anyway and girls are starting to get more abusive when I accidentally call them Hailey. I am, without a shadow of a doubt, done with putting anything before Hailey. Well, besides baseball, but she knows that. It may be a little too late but I know deep down that I have to try and get her back. Even if that means we can only be friends, I’ll take whatever I can get. And I’m doing something for me; I’m buying my house with the white picket fence. It may not be filled with the 2.4 kids and a dog, but this is what I want. If I have any chance at winning Hailey back, I need to prove to her that I’m serious about commitment.

I take a quick shower and set my plan in motion. The first call I need to make is to a realtor. The second and third phone calls are to MacKenzie and Jaylinn. I need to rally the girls on my side and pray they don’t hang up on me after calling me crazy.

The last few months feels like I’ve been living in someone else’s body. Who the hell have I become? God knows I’ve slept around more times then I care to think about but that’s not who I am. Not after I started dating Hailey. I never even gave a girl a second glance unless it was to get something I wanted and even that was wrong, but I never cheated on Hailey and I never would.

I’m bound and determined to set myself straight and kick my own ass if I have to. Screw everything and everyone who gets in my way.

I see something I want vividly now and I will stop at nothing to get it.

27

Goodbye

- Hailey -

Stage six of my breakup: Rebuilding and Hope.

Life gets easier with every day that passes. I don’t cry nearly as much, only when I’m drinking, which I barely do nowadays because I don’t want to be sad anymore. I’m healing; I’m stronger and finally feel like I have my two legs back under me. I have Logan to thank for a lot of that. He tells me every day how beautiful I am, how strong I am, how much I’ve changed in these past few months. Logan’s been like my crutch, getting through this mess. I’m getting over this by myself but it’s nice to have him to help fill Mason’s void a little bit.

I walk out of the door from work and the sun immediately hits my face, it’s too beautiful outside to call for a lift so I decide to walk. My phone rings and I dig around my huge purse until I find it. “Hello?”

“BFF!” Jaylinn’s cheerful voice greets me.

“So …”

Oh boy.

“So …”

“Wearehavingapartyforthetwinsyouhavetocome.” Jaylinn spews out quickly.

I shake my head, what the hell did she say?

“Jay, I have no clue what the hell you just said.” I chuckle.

Jaylinn groans, “Can’t you just say that you’ll come?”

“Come where?”

“MacKenzie and I are having a party for the twins, nothing big, just the family.” Jaylinn rushes the last part out.

Their birthdays are next weekend. I’ve secretly been hoping that they would be on the road so that this wouldn’t come up.

“Hailey, please.” Jaylinn begs. “We miss you.”

My heart beats faster at the thought of seeing Mason.

“You’ve been telling Kenzie and me that you’re over it. Prove it Hailey. Come. Plus, Ryder misses you.” Jaylinn challenges.

Jaylinn: 1

Hailey: 0

“You fight dirty.”

“Yeah but it works so it’s worth it. Party is next Saturday at three at the Cahills’. Love you.” Jaylinn says happily and hangs up before I can tell her I love her too.

Shit! How the hell am I going to get up there? I can’t ask Logan to drive me; that would be too weird. Cole has already done so much for me. Bentley works on Saturdays as does Zeke.

My phone rings in my hands, startling me. “Yeah?”

“I forgot you don’t have a car. I’ll come down Friday night. Can I crash there and then we can head back up here Saturday morning?” Jaylinn asks.

I think for a minute. I’m afraid to sleep without Logan; he’s my rock at night. Would he be pissed that I was going home? Did it matter if he was? No, I pushed that thought away. Logan and I are friends, nothing more.

“Yeah sure that’s fine.”

“Love you, Hails.”

“Love you too.” I hang up this time before she can.

I get home and begin cooking baked ziti. I start a pot of water. Pull a bowl out from the cabinet to mix the sauce, ricotta and mozzarella cheeses.

Logan sneaks up behind me, trapping me between his back and the sink. “Hails.” Logan greets me.

I twist around so I’m facing his handsome face. “Hey Logan.” I place a kiss on his cheek.

Logan backs away and leans his back against the cabinet and crosses his ankles. His arms fold across his chest and they ripple. Playing football keeps Logan in great shape. Practice starts next week and Logan’s been hitting the gym in preparation. I get butterflies in my stomach from the heat in his eyes. Logan and I have only kissed a few times since that morning he made my coffee for me, but it made everything more intense.

“Smells good. What are you cooking?” Logan asks, still looking at me with sexual tension buzzing between us.

“Ziti. Can you make the salad up?” I need him to do something. I can’t have him watching me the way he is.

Logan doesn’t answer; he goes about getting the salad ready while I finish up cooking the pasta and mixing the sauce in. I pick up the dish and place it in oven. When I close the oven door and turn around I’m right against Logan’s hard chest. I look; he reaches down and picks me up like I weigh nothing. I wrap my legs around him.

Logan presses his forehead against mine, his breathing shallow. I bite my bottom lip, waiting, watching to see what his next move is. Logan normally doesn’t touch me unless we are in our rooms with the doors closed.

“I’m gonna kiss you.” Logan’s voice slithers around my butterfly filled stomach.

The front door slams open. My legs drop from around Logan’s waist. We quickly separate. I’m breathing heavy, Logan is too.

“Damn, what smells so good?” Bentley’s voice bellows from the front of the house.

“Ziti.” Logan and I answer at the same time.

I glance over at Logan to see his jade eyes lose the heat that was in them just moments ago. This is good. Logan and I need some distance. Yes, I was slowly getting over Mason but I wasn’t ready to have sex with anyone else just yet.

Zeke comes home shortly after Bentley. I excuse myself and run upstairs to change. When I come back down dinner is out of the oven and Logan is dishing out our plates. I take mine and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Where’s our kiss, sugar lips?” Zeke asks.

As I walk around the table to sit, I kiss Zeke and Bentley on their cheeks. Everyone is chatting away about their days and then Bentley asks about mine.

“Same old same old. But Jaylinn is coming down tomorrow night.” I answer.

Logan’s eyebrows raise, in question about our sleeping arrangements I’m sure.

“You girls want to go out to the club this weekend while she’s here?” Zeke asks.

I take a bite of food, trying to avoid answering his question, but it’s no use; three sets of eyes are waiting for me to answer. “Um, no. We are actually leaving Saturday morning. I’ll be home on Sunday at some point.”

Zeke and Bentley go back to eating but Logan’s eyes bore questions into me. I shake my head no. I’ll explain it to him later.

After dinner has finished I go upstairs and try to finish the book that I started. Jaylinn got me addicted to a series and I can’t stop reading them. A knock sounds from the door.

“It’s open.” I yell from the bed.

Logan walks in and shuts the door behind him. He comes over to the bed and lies down next to me.

He cuts right to the chase. “You want to tell me the real reason Jay is coming this weekend?”

I turn off my Kindle and set it aside. I sit up and cross my legs. “Yeah. Um, they are having a party for Mason and Cooper this weekend for their birthday. Jay begged me to come.”

Logan nods his head. I can’t read his thoughts. Is he mad?

“I miss them, Logan. Ryder is crawling all over the place now. I feel like I’m missing so much.” I explain.

He nods again. “I get it. I’m sure you do miss them. But are you going for everyone or just Mason?”

“Logan …”

Logan gets up from the bed and leaves without another word. I throw myself back on the bed in frustration. Why is he pissy about me leaving for the weekend? Logan and I aren’t in a relationship so it shouldn’t matter, plus I am coming back. It’s not like I’m leaving for good, all my stuff is here. Am I not allowed to have a life and get away for a weekend? Besides, Mason and I are done.

I grab for my cell and give MacKenzie a call but Hunter answers the phone and tells me MacKenzie is throwing up and must have caught a bug. She’ll call me back when she’s feeling better.

Later that night I’m lying in bed, waiting on Logan to come in. It’s Thursday night and we normally spend Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday in my room and the rest of the nights in his room downstairs. Another hour ticks by and there’s still no sing. Finally, growing tired of playing games with Logan, I throw my covers off and go in search of him.

I knock on his bedroom door. I hear his TV on so at least I know he’s at home and awake. I knock again and wait.

“Oh Logan.” I hear a girl moan.

My stomach drops and I feel sick. I run back upstairs, when I reach the top I take a few deep breaths. What an asshole! He gets pissed off because I’m going home. Wait, home? I am home. I’m going to visit my family. It shouldn’t bother me because Logan and I aren’t a couple and we never talk about what we do behind closed doors.

I grab a bottle of Malibu rum from the fridge and run back to my room. When I shut the door a lone tear runs down my face. I angrily wipe it away. Logan’s all over my room. I can’t sleep in here. I grab my pillow and my bath robe, along with the Malibu, and go into the bathroom. There is nowhere else to sleep. I’m not sleeping in my room. I’m not sleeping in the living room and risking having to see that girl walk out. I’m not bothering Bentley and I am sure as hell not sleeping with Zeke. I shiver at the thought of all the girls he’s screwed on his bed.

I dry the tub with a towel, throw my pillow in and then climb into the cold porcelain to drink my sorrows away. Tomorrow is a new day. I can get through anything. I don’t need anyone.

28

Come Clean

- Mason-

I enlist my sister and Jaylinn to help me win Hailey back. Both girls had little hope since Hailey insisted that she was over me, but after making some amends I have all the girls on board.

Jaylinn suggested throwing us a birthday party and inviting Hailey. It was a long shot because the party was for us. MacKenzie said she had something else up her sleeve if that didn’t work. I didn’t know what that other thing was but she was convinced it would bring Hailey home.

Cooper and I are home for a few days before we have to leave and go on the road again. My days home are packed with seeing houses. Mom walked through a few for me but she said they weren’t my style. I was really hoping the few that Mom had seen would work but I didn’t want to jump into something until I was hundred percent sure it is the house for us.

Early afternoon comes and I’m starving. I need to meet the realtor at one, which gives me about a half hour. I pull into Scotto’s pizza shop to grab a few slices.

I order two slices of plain cheese and a bottle of water. I reach into my pocket to pay and I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I turn slightly, thinking I am in their way.

Lily’s blonde and brown hair is tied over her shoulder, her eyes look tired and her cheeks are sunken. She looks like shit. My gaze drops to her stomach, which is sporting a tiny belly. My fucking heart drops, along with the money in my hands. My world starts spinning and my breath comes in shallow pants.

She’s pregnant.

“Can we talk?” Lily asks. She looks scared and uncomfortable.

I nod because I’m not sure I can talk. Lily walks to a table in the back of the shop, away from prying ears. I feel like the whole world has stopped and is watching the Lily and Mason show. I reach down and pick up the money I dropped. I slap some bills on the counter and follow after Lily.

“So,” Lily starts.

I cringe. She’s going to tell me this baby is mine I know it. What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t want this kid with her. I can’t stand to even look at her. What did I do? This was supposed to be Hailey and me.

“Mason stop.” My eyes shoot to hers. “It’s not yours.”

I let out the breath I was holding and take a couple of deep breaths. The elephant that was standing on my chest has now stepped off. I saw my life crashing around me.

“It’s not?” I ask, needing confirmation one more time, just to be sure I heard her right.

Lily confirms, “No it’s not.”

Lily rests her hands on top of the table playing with the salt shaker. “What did you want to talk about, Lily?”

Lily puts the shaker down and says quietly, “I just wanted to say that I was sorry for that shit I pulled a few months back. Brittany got in my head.” That explained a lot right there. “She thought I could try and pull what she did to MacKenzie and Dominic. The crazy bitch wanted me to blame this,” she points to her stomach “on you. I told her I couldn’t do that and you weren’t the one I wanted anyway. Brittany said there was no way that I could break up MacKenzie and Hunter and you were the next best thing.”

“Fuck.” I cursed.

“Exactly. I wasn’t thinking straight. Hailey walked in while I was buying the test and I thought that was a sign or something.” She shakes her head. “It was a sign to run like hell away from crazy. But then the panic set in and I went with it. Later that night you showed up at the bar. I was at the bar to tell Pat I was pregnant but then I saw you and needed to apologize. I didn’t want Pat to know what I did so I asked you to dance. You were trashed, Mason. I went with my gut. I knew deep down Pat would never want this baby. I told him when you stumbled into the bathroom. He did exactly what I thought he would. He told me to have an abortion; an abortion Mason, all because he didn’t want to leave his perfect life behind. He stormed out and left me in a panic. Brittany’s voice was in my head, ‘Pin it on Mason. He’s your ticket out of this mess.’ So I took you home that night and pretended that we slept together.”

I take my baseball hat off and set it on the table. So many emotions are running rampantly through my head and it feels like it’s going to explode. My first thought is that Brittany needs to be stopped; she can’t keep fucking people’s lives up. Someone should have turned her ass over to the police for running MacKenzie off the road. Next, Lily is as bad as Brittany for following through with Brittany’s plan. What kind of twisted fucking mind game is she playing? She ruined Hailey and I. Destroyed us. And Pat, what the fuck? He knocks someone up and now doesn’t want to deal with the consequences? If he was so worried about screwing up his perfect family maybe he should have kept his dick in his pants. Now he’s gone and knocked someone up.

“Say something, Mason.” Lily whispered.

I knew well enough from my sister’s pregnancy that Lily shouldn’t be this upset; it’s not good for her or the baby. “You fucked up, Lily, and I don’t know what you want from me. Haven’t you caused enough God damn drama in my life?”

“I didn’t actually think Hailey would believe me, Mason. I thought you two had what MacKenzie and Hunter had. I’m sorry.”

Had, the key word. Lily was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “Our relationship wasn’t as strong as everyone thought, Lily. Your scheme exploited the weaknesses between us that we had been avoiding. In a way I should thank you for fast tracking an end that was inevitable. I just always assumed Hailey and I could work through whatever problems we faced, but I was wrong.”

Lily sniffs. “I’m sorry Mason. I’ve fucked up and I don’t have a clue as to what I’m going to do. I don’t know how to take care of a baby.” Lily starts to cry. I reach over, grab a napkin and hand it to her. I have no idea why I’m even still sitting here talking to her. I should have left the second she told me it wasn’t mine but I needed to stay and hear her out. I’m not a cold hearted bastard.

Lily takes a minute to compose herself. “Pat doesn’t want anything to do with us. I was stupid to think he would leave his wife for us.”

“I don’t know how to help you Lily but I think you need to turn your life around.” I barely even know Lily aside from the fact that she gets around. I have no advice to offer her.

Lily wipes her nose and sits back to rub her stomach. “I know you don’t Mason, and it’s not your problem but I just wanted to tell you the truth about everything that happened.”

The truth. “There are a few things I need the truth about Lily.”

She nods.

“Did Cooper really sleep with Brittany?”

Lily’s eyebrows raise, “You still haven’t talked to him about it?”

I roll my eyes. “We’ve talked but he doesn’t really remember much of that night and possibly causing a rift in my family isn’t on the top of my list of priorities.”

“Brittany was stuck on Coop for a long time. Logan tried to talk to her about it. Told her she needed to get over it and move on. She couldn’t get over that night years ago.”

I ask a couple of questions that have been burning me up. I need answers, the pieces to the puzzle. “How did she know Dominic and MacKenzie were together? Why would she go after him if she wanted Cooper?”

Lily reaches for another napkin and starts ripping it into pieces. “Logan told her that Cooper’s sister MacKenzie was coming to college at ODU. Logan thought maybe she could talk to MacKenzie and get on better terms with Cooper, that way she could move on. You know, needing to put that shit to bed.”

Anger sets in, “But she couldn’t do that right? She had to try and pay him back through my sister by messing up her relationship with Dominic. She’s a spiteful bitch.”

Lily nods, “Right, but then she fell for Dominic and he only wanted her for a good time, so she trapped him, as you know, by saying she was pregnant. Just like I tried to do to you. I didn’t know any of this until a few weeks ago, when Brittany got drunk and had diarrhea of the mouth. She spilled everything Mason; her obsession with Cooper, wanting Dominic, and running MacKenzie’s car off the side of the road. I had no idea she was that fucking crazy.”

She has no idea. “How did you meet her anyway?”

Lily pushes all the pieces of the napkin together in a circle, “We tended bar together and got talking one night. Just my luck that she knew all of you, huh?”

“You have horrible luck.” I deadpan.

Lily smiles, “You got that right.”

There is a silence that falls over us. I feel bad for Lily, but in a way I don’t. She’s not my responsibility. I have my own problems that I need to fix.

I reach in my pocket and turn on my cell phone so I can check the time. “Well thanks for being honest about everything but I’ve gotta get going.” I slide out of the booth. “See ya around.”

“Bye Mason.”

I walk towards the door, forgetting all about the pizza I ordered.

“Hey buddy. You forgot your slices.” The little, old, Italian guy behind the counter says.

“They are for the girl in the last booth.” I yell over my shoulder while running to my car. I’m on a mission to get something I want and nothing is going to stop me.

A week later, after being very demanding, I’m a proud owner of my first house. It is perfect, only thing missing is my sexy little blonde making it our home.

The second house that I saw was the one I had to have, as I pulled into the driveway for the first time it instantly felt like home. It’s a bungalow crafted house with an attached two car garage. The exterior is tan with a half wrap around porch. Floor to ceiling windows are all along the first floor of the house and there is a screened-in back porch and a patio that leads off that. The house is surrounded by weeping willow trees that block out the rest of the neighborhood. There are four bedrooms and three and a half baths, plenty of room for a family; a family, who would have thought that I, Mason Cahill, would ever be dreaming about settling down. There are hardwood floors down throughout the house, the kitchen and bathrooms are tiled. The family room is spacious and open and has a fireplace nestled into the corner of the room. The kitchen is modern, with a granite counter, dark cherry wood cabinets and all stainless steel appliances. A window above the kitchen sink overlooks the back yard. The master bed has its own bathroom with a tub big enough to fit two and a stand up shower off to the side. His and her sinks too. There is a walk-in closet that has built in shelves and plenty of clothes racks. The other three rooms are similar, big open spaces, plenty of room and each has its own walk in closet. And to top it off there is a man cave downstairs.

I’m going all in, one more time.

29

Everything has changed

- Hailey -

“Hailey?”

I try to turn over but my body aches. I groan as I try to sit up.

“What the hell are you doing sleeping in the bath tub, doll face?” Zeke holds out a hand, offering his assistance to help me up.

I reach up and grab a hold of it. “What time is it?” I place one foot flat on the floor. “I can’t feel my ass.” I raise my other foot and plant it on the floor next to my other one. My back screams as I try to stand up straight. Damn! It was a bad idea sleeping in there.

Zeke sees me struggling; he bends at the waist and throws me over his shoulder. I yelp in surprise, “I can walk you know.”

“Yeah, you were doing a real good job of that.” Zeke quips back.

I relax and just let him carry me. Never again will I sleep in the tub. Lesson learned. He opens my bedroom door and Jaylinn is perched on the end of my bed.

When she notices me she jumps up, “Hailey? What the hell happened to you?”

Zeke sets me on my feet. “You good?”

I shake my head yeah. I look over at the cable box and notice its ten thirty. “Why are you here so early? I wasn’t expecting you until tonight.”

Jaylinn picks up a Cosmo magazine that I had thrown on the floor earlier in the week. “Yeah well MacKenzie and I wanted to have a girls’ night tonight so pack your shit and let’s go. You’re driving back.”

An hour later, and lots of bitching from Jaylinn, we are buckled in her car and pulling onto the highway, heading to Jersey with coffee in our hands. The butterflies in my stomach refuse to calm and I’m seriously jittery, the coffee probably wasn’t the best idea.

I still can’t believe that Logan was so pissed off that I was going back to Jersey that he needed to bring a girl home last night. Was he trying to ruin our friendship again?

Jaylinn is playing with the radio, trying to find something to listen to. “Aw, I love this song. Have you heard it before?”

I shake my head no.

Jaylinn turns it up, “It’s, Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran.” Then puts her sunglasses on, sits back and relaxes while singing along.

I slip my own sunglasses on and play with the promise ring that Mason gave me. I still can’t seem to take it off, in a way it still makes me feel close to him.

Christmas morning last year started off not so well. Tara had a fight with her on-again-off-again boyfriend and she stayed the night on the couch at Mom’s house. If I would have known I would have stayed the night at Mason’s house but I didn’t want Mom to wake up alone on Christmas day.

I walked downstairs and Tara was in the kitchen cooking pancakes, Mom must have still been asleep. I was happy just to ignore her like I’ve done for years.

“Morning.” Tara greeted me as she flipped a pancake.

“Morning.” I grabbed the orange juice from the fridge and poured myself a glass.

Tara flipped another pancake. “No one wanted to spend Christmas with you?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. She’s such a bitch! “Actually, for your information, yes there are people but I didn’t want Mom alone on Christmas.”

Tara’s face twisted in disgust. “Who the hell would want you?”

Her words stung a bit but I’ve gotten used to them. Tara still blamed me for my parent’s divorce. I’ve grown used to it; it didn’t bother me as much anymore, now that I haven’t seen my dad in a few years.

“Funny, Tara, I could say the same about you.” I placed the orange juice back in the fridge and shut the door.

Tara caught me by my ponytail and yanked me back, spilling my orange juice all over me. “You stupid bitch. If it wasn’t for you Mom wouldn’t have to be alone on Christmas.”

I whirled around and shoved Tara hard, her back crashed against the counter. “It wasn’t my God damn fault that I was born, asshole.” I turned on my heel and walked back to my room. I sent Mason a quick text and asked if he could swing by and pick me up in a half hour. He responded right back that he would. I took a quick shower, got dressed and grabbed the presents that I bought for the Cahills and left without a word to my mom or Tara.

Mason was outside waiting for me, when he noticed my hands were full he jumped out and helped me. I was still upset and pissed off that Tara had started her shit on Christmas day. Mason and I climbed in the car and we went back to his place. He knew there was something wrong but he didn’t question me. He knew me well enough to wait until I was ready to talk about it.

Mason picks up my hand and kisses it. “I love you.”

I look into his stormy, loving, blue eyes, “I love you too.”

Mason winked at me and then turned his eyes back on the road. “You know I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”

“I know.”

He led me into his bedroom and stripped me out of my clothes. He knew exactly what I needed, sometimes before I even did. I needed that bond that Mason and I share. Once I was completely naked he took his clothes off and we both climbed into his bed together. I snuggled up to him, my back to his chest and tangled my legs in his. Mason ran his fingers from my shoulder all the way down to my hip, causing my skin to pimple with goose bumps.

I’d finally relaxed enough and told him what happened in the kitchen with Tara. Mason swore and then told me that Tara was a cunt. I hated that word but that’s exactly what she was. Mason and I made love and he told me over and over again how much he loved me and he would always want me and that he had for years.

After we had showered, Mason went over to his dresser and pulled out a little black box. My heart beat hard in my chest thinking that he was about to propose. I loved Mason but I didn’t think we were ready for that. He came up behind me and looked at me through the mirror that I was standing in front of.

He kissed my shoulder, put his arms around my waist and placed the box on the dresser in front of me. I started shaking, nerves in high gear. “It’s not an engagement ring.” Mason placed a kiss on my other shoulder. “We’re aren’t quite ready for that just yet. I bought this for you as a promise.”

I looked at him through the mirror. He’s so handsome, his dark hair that is so silky, his pouty pink lips and his stormy blue eyes that changed color with his mood; his devilish smile that he used all the time to get what he wants.

He winked at me in the mirror and I smiled shyly. I reached down and opened the box. Tucked inside was a white gold, heart shaped ring with diamonds encrusted on the sides. It’s beautiful.

“I love you Hailey and I want you to wear this as a reminder of me and my promise to you. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll always protect you.”

I turned in Mason’s arms, “How did I ever get so lucky to have you in my life?”

He smiled and I turned into a puddle at his feet. “I’m the lucky one, Boo.”

I kissed his lips. Mason picked me up and set me on the dresser. We sat like this holding each other for a while. Both lost in our own thoughts.

I sigh loudly and Jaylinn coughs. I look over to make sure she’s okay and she smiles.

“You aren’t over him, Hails. Not by a long shot.” Jaylinn states.

She’s so right but I would never admit it, not now when everyone thinks that I have. “It doesn’t matter Jay.”

“Yup. Whatever you say.” Jaylinn pops the p.

She doesn’t believe me but she doesn’t say anything else about it.

“How are things with you and Cooper? You two talked yet?”

Jaylinn studies me for a few long moments. “Kind of.” She reaches forward and turns the radio down. “I’m not ready to talk in detail about what happened and he can’t forget what happened to me back in school. Nothing actually happened but he can’t seem to get over it regardless.” Jaylinn looks over at me. There is sadness in her eyes and I want badly to ask her what happened but I don’t dare push. This is the most she has ever said to me about her and Cooper. “I love him, Hailey. I love him so much and it scares that shit out of me.”

“I can see that, Jay. Just hang in there; he’ll open his eyes sooner or later.”

“Let’ hope its sooner.” Jaylinn leaves it at that as she reaches forward and turns the radio back up.

An hour later and she is fast asleep, she must have woken up at four this morning to get to me so early, so it’s no doubt she’s tired. It’s fine though, I don’t need her knowing looks, not while I’m trying to steel myself for a visit with the Cahills.

* * *

I’m sitting in the Cahill’s kitchen, talking to Elle and filling her in on everything that I’ve been up to since moving. We all pick up like I never left. No one treats me differently, no sadness in anyone’s eyes, no awkward situations. Being in the Cahills’ house is so peaceful, relaxing, familiar, calming and homely. Home, my heart aches. I miss being here. I miss being picked on by Jackson and I miss our girls’ nights. I missed Ryder crawling for the first time; I missed his first tooth, his first word. That little boy means so much to me. I miss my best friend, our late night calls, our bitching about the boys when they piss us off, I miss that I can’t just get up and go and visit her when I want. Hell I even miss walking in on MacKenzie and Hunter having sex. I secretly think Hunter misses it too. I giggle to myself.

“I missed that sound.” Mason walks in, tussles my ponytail and goes to stand next to his mom.

My world freezes and my stomach clenches. I bite my bottom lip and drink Mason in. When I meet his eyes, his devilish smile appears; the smile that I dream about nightly. My heart skips a beat at the smoldering look he is giving me. My mouth goes dry. I thought I would be spending the night running from him but all I want to do is run to him.

“Happy Birthday, Mason.” I say sweetly.

Elle smiles and rests her head on her son’s shoulder. Alex comes charging in sans diaper and runs right to Mason. “Whoa little man, where’s your diaper?” Mason asks him.

“Alex!” Chloe yells. She comes marching into the kitchen with Alex’s diaper in her hand. “That boy is exhausting.”

Elle reaches down and picks Alex up. “Stop giving Mommy a hard time, you.” She kisses him on the nose and passes him back to Chloe. I follow Chloe out of the kitchen, needing to put a little distance between myself and Mason.

MacKenzie is sitting on Hunter’s lap in the living room and his hand is resting on her belly and they are whispering to each other. I clear my throat and Hunter quickly removes his hand. Jackson, Cooper and Jaylinn walk in and spread out in the living room. There is a football game playing in the background but no one is really paying attention to it.

MacKenzie’s dad, Andrew, walks in and smiles when he notices me standing off to the side. He comes over, “Hey Sweetie.” Then he places a kiss on the top of my head.

“Hey Dad.” Andrew has been more of a Dad to me than my own and I couldn’t be more jealous of the Cahill kids. I’m so thankful he’s in my life. He’s treated me like I was one of his own kids for years. Any time I need help with my car, he is the one I call. When Matt, my prom date, came to MacKenzie’s for pictures he laid the rules down for the night. Andrew helped me with my college application too.

Ryder crawls around the living room as Mason walks in, takes a seat on the floor and leans up against the wall. Ryder makes his way over to him and pinches his cheeks, causing Mason to laugh. He is such a good uncle.

MacKenzie stands up, as does Hunter. Hunter wraps his arms around his wife, kisses her head and smiles lovingly at her.

MacKenzie looks around the room at all of us, smiling. “Well, now that all of my family is here.” MacKenzie looks over at me and smiles. “Hunter and I have an announcement. We’re expecting another McCormick this winter.”

I knew it!

Everyone congratulates the pair. The girls all surround MacKenzie in excitement. I take a step towards MacKenzie and hug my best friend. “You got what you wished for, huh?”

MacKenzie wipes away a tear and smiles brightly at me. “I did.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise, “How far along are you now?”

MacKenzie looks over at Hunter. “Twelve weeks.”

I hug MacKenzie tightly again, “I’m so happy for you Kenzie.”

Hunter comes over and wraps his arms around MacKenzie and me. “What are you two yapping about over here?”

MacKenzie slaps him in his stomach, he acts like it hurt him but it didn’t. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She answers back.

“So I’m assuming you’ll be taking Kenzie over the bike again before her stomach gets too big?” I ask while trying to keep a straight face.

MacKenzie blushes and looks around to see if anyone has heard and Hunter cringes. “You know what?” Hunter asks.

“What’s that, playboy?” I say.

“I don’t think I miss you anymore.”

MacKenzie and I start laughing. “You know you miss the hell out of me and want me to move in with you.”

Elle walks by, stops and cocks her head to the side looking in Mason’s direction. My eyebrows scrunch together. “What’s wrong?” I ask her.

Mason picks up Ryder and comes over to us. “Mom?” Mason asks.

She shakes her head, clearing whatever she was thinking. “It’s nothing sweetie.” Elle answers Mason and I.

We all stand around chatting and Elle announces dinner is ready. Gathering in the kitchen we eat dinner and then move on to presents for Cooper and Mason, followed by cake. I didn’t have time to get them anything so I chose to just do gift cards to their favorite places to eat. I know they don’t get good food a lot because they are constantly on the road.

The girls are all in the kitchen cleaning up when Mason comes up behind me and whispers in my ear, “Come with me for a bit.”

I damn near drop the glass that I’m rinsing out. I start to shake my head no when MacKenzie bumps my hip with hers. “Go.”

I beg MacKenzie with my eyes to help me. I can’t do that. I can’t be alone with him. My heart is almost back together and I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces again. I’m stronger than I was before but when Mason Cahill is involved I turn into mush.

MacKenzie grabs the glass and repeats herself, “Go. Please, for me.”

I sigh in defeat. I let go of the glass and dry my hands with the towel. I nod to Mason and follow behind him. I do want to go, I need to prove that I can still be around Mason and not be in a relationship with him. But then a part of me aches to be with him. I don’t just miss him emotionally, I miss him physically too.

Please don’t break me again.

30

In my veins

- Mason -

I grab Hailey’s hand and walk out through the garage with her to get my bike. It’s a stifling hot August night.

“Come for a ride with me?” I ask Hailey as I grab my helmet and slide it over my head. I’m leaving regardless if she comes or not.

She turns and goes into the garage to where she knows I’ve left her helmet; where it always has been. I turn on the bike and wait for Hailey to climb on behind me. Her arms feel smaller than they were a few months ago. She locks her fingers around my stomach and squeezes my hips with the inside of her legs, giving me the signal that she’s ready.

I pull out of the driveway and turn the opposite direction of my house with Cooper. I pull into MacKenzie and Hunter’s development. Hailey’s hands shift, probably thinking I’m dropping her off since that’s where she is staying. I get to the end of their street and turn right. The houses get bigger and bigger the further you drive down the street. My house is in the center of the cul-de-sac, you can barely tell there is a house there with all the willow trees surrounding it. The “for sale” sign has a giant sold sign across it. I stop in front of the house and steady the bike with my feet; positioning us in direct sight of the house.

Hailey flips the visor up on her helmet so I can hear her, “What are we doing?”

I raise mine to answer back. “Just looking.”

“Uh, Mase isn’t this a little creepy?”

I chuckle. I guess she hasn’t seen the sold sign yet. “Yeah a little, but I know the owner.”

“Mason let’s get the hell out of here. Take me home.”

I smile, if she only knew that I want this to be her home. I give the bike a little gas and she grabs me around the waist again. I pull up the driveway and hit the garage keypad on my bike. Hailey’s legs squeeze my hips. I pull into the garage and it shuts behind me. My car is parked next to me; this has to be a giveaway now.

I pull off my helmet and wait as Hailey gets off the bike. “Mason, why is your car here?”

I place my helmet on the work bench near the door that leads into the mud room. “I told you I know the owner.”

Hailey follows closely behind me. “Does my hair look alright?” She asks as she fixes her hair back into a ponytail.

I stop and turn to face her. Clearly she hasn’t put two and two together. “Stop. Leave it. You’re at my house.” I turn back around and open the door.

Hailey gasps behind me and I silently chuckle. Silly girl really had no idea.

I take off my shoes, go into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. Hailey’s eyes are darting all around, taking in the house. “Wow Mase.”

She isn’t paying attention to where she is walking and bumps right into me. She stumbles back a step but I’m there to steady her. I pull her to me. I take a deep breath when I get a whiff of her perfume, I miss that smell.

She looks up at me, “Why would you bring me here?”

I tell her the truth, “I want my girl back.” She starts to protest and pull away but I stop her. “It might not happen right this second, maybe not tomorrow but it will happen, I love you Hailey.”

Hailey looks at me with wide eyes and she starts swaying. “We’re over, Mase.”

“Shush.” I capture her lips before she can say anything else, she is stiff as a board at first and then it’s all hands after that. I reach down and pick her up. We bump into counters a few times as I try to make it to the living room. I can’t take her upstairs to my bedroom because I don’t have any furniture yet. The only room that is furnished is the living room.

“Mase,” Hailey’s breath tickles my ear. “This doesn’t change anything for us. We’ve hurt each other too much.”

I rest my head on her shoulder, “I know, but that didn’t change things for me Hailey. I can’t function when we’re apart; I’m barely living day to day without you.”

Hailey kisses my neck, she’s wavering. “I know what you mean.”

I gently lay her on the plush, living room area rug. The couch isn’t going to be big enough for us tonight. I pin her underneath me. Hailey’s legs part and I rock into her, she is warm and it’s inviting. She moans when I rock again. I can’t believe she is letting this happen so easily. This isn’t what I had planned for us but I’ll take it.

“Boo,” I whisper in her ear before biting on it gently.

“Hmm?” Hailey moans and shifts her hips.

I roll off her and start removing her clothes. Once I’ve got her shirt off I stop and stare at her tattoos.

I bend and kiss the flower with the piercing in the middle, “This is sexy as fuck.” I look into her eyes, “I love these on you.” I kiss the flower on her hip, run my tongue along the lines to the next one and kiss that and then do the same with the other two flowers. I take one of her nipples in my mouth. She starts panting hard and her cheeks flush as she watches me lick, bite and suck. I release her right and drag my tongue to her left and give it the same attention. Hailey’s back arches.

“Please Mason.” Hailey begs.

“What Boo?” I want to hear her say that she wants me.

Hailey pulls my shirt up; I lean up and let her take it off me. “I need you Mase, please.” She has this lustful look in her eyes. Hearing her tell me she needs me makes me want her even more. Hailey reaches for me shorts and pulls them down until they are around my knees.

I roll again and Hailey straddles my hips now. She reaches behind her head and gathers her long blonde hair that is tied back in a ponytail, and then she holds it in her left hand. Hailey takes her pointer finger on her right hand and sucks on it. She then ever so slowly drags it down her chin, to her neck and then circles each of her nipples. I suck in a breath and grow painfully hard. I grip her hips and slide her wetness over my cock.

Hailey moans and presses down harder. If we keep this up much longer I’m going to cum and I’m not going to let that happen unless I’m inside her. Hailey sucks on her finger again and then slides it right down the valley of her tits, circles her belly button and then stops to look me right in the eyes. We are locked in a lust filled haze. Her eyes fall down to where her hand is and I follow her line of sight. She starts to circle her clit. Hailey was never this brave before, never this confident. In our months apart she’s changed.

Hailey whimpers and her head falls back as she rocks harder against me while circling her clit. I can’t take it anymore. I lift her up by her hips and guide her onto me. She’s so wet that I slip in with ease and I reach the hilt so quickly that I freeze, worrying that I’ve hurt her. Hailey doesn’t stop or show any signs of discomfort. She rises up and drops back down until she reaches the hilt again. Damn she’s going to kill me like this.

“Fuck Mase.” Hailey whimpers.

My eyes flutter shut as she rides me so hard, harder than she ever has. I’m going to blow my load if she keeps this up. I grip her hips when she comes back down and flip us. I sit back, grab Hailey’s legs and cross them at her ankles. I rest Hailey’s legs on my left shoulder, lean forward and start pumping hard and quick into her. This angle is much tighter.

Hailey yells out my name over and over as we both reach for our release. I reach forward and grab both of Hailey’s tits and squeeze hard. She screams my name louder, her hands grip my arms, and she bites her lower lip.

“Come, Hailey.”

Hailey’s eyes lock on mine and she explodes around me. I pump once, twice and then release into her, filling her. She still contracts around me even after I’ve given her everything I have.

Sweating and panting, I release her legs so that now I’m cradled between them, but I don’t pull out. I’m not ready for this to be over. Hailey runs her small hands in my hair, down my neck and then back up. My ear is resting against her chest, listening to her erratic heartbeat.

After a few moments I look up into her eyes. They are glassy and the color is a deeper blue than normal; a cold, distant blue. I’m not going to ask her what’s wrong; I can feel her saying goodbye.

I wince as I start to pull out of her but Hailey hooks her legs around my ass, holding me in place. She whispers, “Not yet.”

I push back into her. Her hot, soft body is incasing me and nothing in the world feels better than this. I would give up everything, including baseball, to stay here with her. I want to lock us in my house and throw away the key.

Hailey’s heartbeat is slow and her legs have dropped open wider. I peek up at her and she’s asleep. “Hailey?” I say softly.

She doesn’t answer. I start to pull out again but she whimpers and squeezes her legs around me. I gently roll us so she’s lying on top of me and I fumble around, reaching for the blankets. I maneuver so I can reach for them and once I do I drape our bodies and drift off to one of the best nights of sleep in weeks.

When I wake the next morning the weight from Hailey’s body is missing. I take a deep breath and hold it until my lungs burn. I can sense she’s gone. My body feels cold, chilly. I open my eyes and look from side to side for any signs that she’s still here, even though I know the truth deep down. Nothing is here, she’s left me.

I’m crushed, but in reality I kind of expected this from her. I knew getting her back wasn’t going to be this easy but I’ll let her go for now. Tonight just proved that we aren’t over and I refuse to give up. Jaylinn was right; I had to let her go. Now I just need to wait for Hailey to realize she still needs me.

31

Unconditionally

- Hailey -

October

Two months later...

The final stage of my breakup: Joy and Love.

I’ve let go of the bad memories as the new ones start to take over. Good things are going to happen for me from here on out.

I sit straight up from a dead sleep, breathing heavy, with sweat dripping down my face. The same dream replays every night, over and over again. Mason taking me to his house and making love to me on his living room floor. No matter what I do I can’t stop the dreams. It doesn’t even help that I haven’t spoken to him in two months.

When I woke up after making love with Mason I was so pissed at myself. I can’t believe I let that happen. I was so stupid for even going with him.

I called MacKenzie and asked her to pick me up. She laughed at me but agreed.

When I got in her car a few minutes later she said, “I bet you will be home before Christmas.”

I looked at her like she was crazy. The pregnancy hormones were affecting her thinking.

“I will not. That should have never happened. I should be pissed at you because you know I have a problem telling him no.”

She giggled. “The old Mason is back.”

The next morning I woke up to Ryder climbing all over me. I played around with him for a few minutes before going downstairs. Jaylinn, Cooper and MacKenzie were sitting around the kitchen table and Mason and Hunter were in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

“Morning sunshine.” Jaylinn greeted me.

“Bitch.” I said quietly because I was holding Ryder and didn’t want him picking up any bad words.

Jaylinn and MacKenzie laughed. Cooper had a smirk on his face that I wanted to slap off.

“Should I call a moving company now?” Cooper asked.

I gave him the evil eye and he laughed. “Not happening.” I snuck a quick glance at Mason and he wore the same smirk his brother did. I guess everyone knew what happened. It’s a little embarrassing that everyone knew my business but they all know us so well. We’re either hot or cold, nothing in the middle. Our clothes are off or on. I laugh to myself; I should have known that was going to happen.

With everything that has been going on these last few months I decided to take the fall semester off. There was just no way I couldn’t concentrate.

Logan and I speak only when we need to; he no longer fixes me a plate at dinner or gets my coffee ready in the mornings. We never talked about the night he brought that girl home, the night we had our silent little fight. I guess we really didn’t need to. It’s awkward living with Logan now.

Ryder’s first birthday is this weekend so I’m going home. I was kind of hoping Cole would pick me up since I haven’t talk with him much lately but he’s on the road with the band and wasn’t in town this weekend, so Jaylinn is coming to pick me up again.

I finish packing a bag and stuff a few extra outfits in there, just in case. Jaylinn arrives just before noon; I’m in the middle of paying some bills online so she comes in for a few minutes. When I finish there is another bag packed and sitting next to the one I’ve already done. I eye Jaylinn.

“Just in case.” She shrugs and picks up the bags.

“Jay,”

“I’ve got soccer practice that starts this week so you might need to stay a few extra days.” She says.

I roll my eyes, “I have work and you know you’re gonna make sure I get home. You always do.”

Jaylinn smiles and walks out of the room.

* * *

I make Jaylinn stop at the drug store before we go to MacKenzie’s, I need to pick up a card because I had forgotten one when I picked up Ryder’s gift. Jaylinn offers to go in with me but I tell her to stretch her legs out and I’d be right back. I don’t want her to see what else I have to pick up. I’m not ready for anyone to see it.

I get everything I need and head to MacKenzie’s house. We are all sitting around chatting and catching up. Everything is normal, like I still live here in Jersey, the jokes still go around and it’s fun times. Mason is watching me like a hawk and it makes me uncomfortable but I put on my game face and ignore him. All the boys, including Ryder and Alex leave to go and get pizza for dinner so it’s only me, Jaylinn, MacKenzie and Chloe. I break out into a sweat thinking about what’s in my bag upstairs.

“What’s going on with you?” Chloe asks.

“Huh?”

MacKenzie narrows her eyes at me. “You’re glowing. What’s up?”

I look everywhere but at them. They are going to know the second I do. “Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jaylinn tucks her legs under her, “Did you meet a guy?”

I shake my head.

MacKenzie starts laughing and playfully hits Jaylinn in the arm. “It’s Mason.”

Chloe rolls her eyes, “Of course it’s Mason.”

I nod.

MacKenzie stops laughing suddenly and her mouth falls open. I flush, cheeks burning hot. I bite my lower lip waiting to see if she says what I think she’s about to.

Jaylinn’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between MacKenzie and me.

“Oh shit.” Chloe says softly.

“What?” Jaylinn questions, “What the hell is going on?”

I stand up and walk to the kitchen, suddenly feeling very thirsty. I turn my back away from the girls gawking at me.

I hear a bunch of shuffling and footsteps and suddenly all three pairs of wide eyes are staring at me, jaws dropped to the floor.

“You’re pregnant!” All three girls yell at once.

I take a drink of water from my glass. I don’t answer because I’m scared shitless. I don’t know if they are excited, upset, disappointed or what.

“Hails,” MacKenzie starts, “Look at me.”

I meet her eyes. “You’re pregnant aren’t you?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

“You haven’t taken a test?” Chloe asks.

“No.” My heart rate speeds up.

“But you got one earlier at the store. That’s why you made me stop?” Jaylinn speaks up.

“Yeah.”

“You. Now. Upstairs.” MacKenzie orders.

The alarm beeps, signaling that a door has opened. My eyes go wide. Jaylinn pushes MacKenzie and me upstairs. “Go. Chloe and I’ve got this.”

MacKenzie waddles her pregnant little ass upstairs and I follow behind. We walk into the guest bedroom and MacKenzie stands near the door. “Grab it and let’s go to my bathroom.”

I grab the test and follow her. MacKenzie shuts the door behind us and I go into the bathroom. My whole body starts to shake. I feel like I’m about to throw up.

MacKenzie comes in and shuts the bathroom door. “Take a couple of deep breaths.” I turn to her soothing voice. “It’s going to be okay, Hails. Why haven’t you called me about this?”

Breathe in, breathe out. “Because I was stupid. I didn’t even think about Mason not using a condom until one night I woke up and realized I never got my period.”

MacKenzie smiles, “You know this changes everything right?”

Breathe in, breathe out. My nerves are still going crazy but I feel a little calmer. “I know. I haven’t talked to him since his birthday weekend, Kenzie. I have no idea what he’s been up to. Is he seeing someone? Does he hate me? All these questions are running through my head.”

“Well,” MacKenzie perches herself on the side of the tub. “If you didn’t forbid me to talk about him then you would have known.” I fumble around with the bag that holds the pregnancy test. “Hailey.” I look over at her. “He’s not seeing anyone and he hasn’t done for a long time. Mason could never, ever hate you. He has been working on his house when he isn’t on the road. He’s waiting for you Hailey.”

Tears burn my eyes. I swallow hard.

“He loves you, Hailey. I think he loves you more now than he did before.”

“You’re damn right I do.” Startled at the voice, I jump and spin around.

The room grows quiet; you could hear a pin drop. The bag in my hand feels like a ticking time bomb. Mason takes a step closer to me and without apology plants his lips on mine. My heart stops completely, I stop breathing. Mason cups my face with his hands and tears fall from my closed eyes. I grip his shirt with one of my hands and hold on for dear life. I don’t ever want to be apart from this man again.

Mason places another kiss on my lips, more gently this time, and wipes the tears away with his thumbs. “I love you Hailey, don’t ever doubt that. You’ve always held a special place in my heart and always will.”

Sniffles echo in the bathroom and they aren’t from me. I giggle; I forgot MacKenzie was in the room with us. “I’m sorry.” She cries. MacKenzie stands up and hugs both Mason and me. “I love you two, now please get your shit together. I want my best friend back.” Mason places a kiss on my forehead. “And I need an answer to a question.” MacKenzie looks at me.

“What questions is that?” Mason asks.

MacKenzie winks, “I’ll let Hails explain.” She turns and leaves me in here with Mason.

“So um,” I scratch my nose.

Mason interrupts me, “Just so you know, I’m not letting you go.”

I smile at him, “Good, because I don’t want to go. I missed you so much Mason. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe in our relationship. I grew up being told I was a mistake. I let my issues with my family seep into my relationship with you and ruin us. All these months apart I’ve had time to think and I was so stupid for listening to Brittany and Lily.”

“And I’m sorry I just let you go, I didn’t even try to stop you and make you listen. My stubbornness and pride got in the way. I should have fought harder to keep you.” Mason kisses me again. “And just so you know I never slept with Lily. She staged the whole thing.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

Mason nods.

“Who the hell does that?”

Mason grimaces, “That girl has some major issues she is dealing with. Pat, the guy from the team,” I nod, knowing exactly who he is. I can’t stand that two timing asshole. “He knocked up Lily. I ran into her while getting pizza and she told me everything.”

I shake my head in disgust. Pat should have kept it in his pants and Lily should have kept her legs closed. I’m so relieved that Mason and Lily didn’t sleep together though.

“So what’s the answer that Kenzie is waiting for?” Mason asks disrupting my thoughts.

“Oh yeah. Um …” My stomach rolls.

Mason grabs my chin, “Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it. Just tell me.” I close my eyes and breathe in through my nose and out of my mouth. “No more secrets, no more lies. I want you Hailey and I’m going to spend forever proving it to you. These last few months have been miserable without you.”

I start crying again.

Mason lets go of my chin, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a blue Tiffany’s box.

I cry harder.

He drops to one knee. “I didn’t plan on proposing to you in my sister’s bathroom but I don’t want to spend another minute not knowing if you’ll be mine.” He shrugs and I smile through my tears. “I want to give you the world, Hailey. Our love isn’t sweet and simple; it never was and probably never will be. It’s hot, loud and messy and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I will love you for the rest of my life. I want our happily ever after. It’s our turn.” I wipe the tears away. “Hailey, will you marry me?”

Mason loves me, me. Not the idea of me carrying his baby if I’m pregnant. This is just about me and him. I’m so head over heels in love with Mason I can’t even see straight. I tried to deny my feelings and tried to move on, but failed at both. This time apart has proven a lot of things. It’s shown that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. It’s proven that I can stand on my own two feet without ever feeling like I need someone to hold me up.

“Yes. Yes I’ll marry you, Mason.” I drop the bag I was holding and throw myself into his arms, crashing against his body. “I love you so much. No more secrets, Mason.”

Mason opens the box to reveal the biggest rock I have ever seen, it has to be three or four carats, nestled in the center of a band of diamonds. He takes the ring out of the box and slips it on my finger. “Never again. You will always come first from this day forward.” I hold it up and admire it. It’s gorgeous.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the bag containing the pregnancy test.

“Actually, wait a second.”

Mason freezes.

“I might actually be hiding a secret.”

His eyebrows burrow together, “Might be?”

I smile at him and nod to the bag that I dropped on the floor.

Mason looks at the bag and then back at me. “If you hand me that bag I can tell you if I’m hiding something and answer MacKenzie’s question.”

He reaches for the bag and passes it to me. I take the pregnancy test out and look at Mason. His eyes are big as saucers. “You’re pregnant?”

I open the box, take the test out and place it on the sink next to the toilet. “We’re about to find out.”

Mason stands up and turns to leave the room, “Where the hell are you going? Don’t leave me in here by myself.”

Mason is white as a ghost. “Is …” He tries to clean his throat. “Is … it … mine?”

“Yes Mason. I haven’t slept with anyone but you.” I assure him and then the color starts to come back to his cheeks.

I open the plastic that is wrapped around the test. Once I’m finished I set it back on the sink. I look over at Mason and he’s just staring at the piece of plastic.

I go over and wrap my arms around him, “Are you scared?”

Mason stares me right in the eyes, “No. Do you know how long I’ve wanted this with you?”

Shock crosses my face, “You’ve wanted to have a baby with me?”

“I dream about it all the time, Boo. I want little boys running around our house causing destruction wherever they go. I want the laughter and the joy they will bring.”

My heart melts. “I want that too but I’m scared shitless.”

Mason kisses my head, “Don’t be.”

I think I’ve kept him busy long enough, “You wanna look first?”

He nods and turns his body so he can see the test. I watch his face, his lips pull up slightly and transform into a full shit eating grin.

“I’m pregnant?”

Mason grabs me up in his arms and spins me around. “You’re having my baby.”

I squeal at the surprise and place my lips on Mason. He stops spinning and slowly sets me on my feet. “I guess you’re getting your happily ever after, plus one.”

Mason smiles his cocky smile. “You’re damn straight I am. I get everything I want.”

Epilogue

- Hailey -

Mason took me home after we’d told everyone our news. Home; to our house, and I haven’t left. The following morning Mason was on the phone with a moving company to collect my things and bring them here. Today I have an ultrasound appointment to see our little one. I’m so thankful that Mason has home games until later this week. I want him here for this.

“You ready to go?”

“Let’s do this.”

An hour later we are in the dark ultrasound room. I reach out and grab for Mason’s hand. The technician explains that she is going to take some pictures and then she’ll show us the baby.

Mason’s forehead scrunches as he studies me, “What’s wrong, baby?”

Mason glances at me and then back to the screen. He tilts his head to the side, “How the hell can you tell what all that is. I can’t see anything.”

The technician laughs, “It’s all very clear when you know what you’re looking for. None of this stuff matters much.”

“If you say so.” Mason replies.

We both watch as she moves it all around my stomach, taking pictures. She switches wands and then asks, “Ready?”

“Yes.” Mason and I both say at the same time.

She inserts the wand and it’s all dark, she makes some adjustments and then it lightens. “Well, here is a baby.” Tears spring to my eyes.

“It looks like a little jelly bean.” Mason says softly.

“It does.” The technician agrees. She moves the wand around a little more. “And here is baby number two.”

My eyes shoot to Mason. I see him swallow hard.

I look back to the screen, “Wait a second. Did you say two?”

The technician smiles and nods, “I did.”

“Holy shit, we’re having twins.”

The nurse giggles, “You are. Would you like some pictures?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and nod yes. We’re having twins. Holy shit! We’re having twins. I can’t believe it. Then I look over to Mason with horror on my face. “I’m going to be as big as a God damn house, Mason!”

Mason stares at the screen, “We’re having twins.” He repeats.

“Yes Mason, we are. Did you hear what I said? I’m going to be as big as a house.” I repeat myself again in case he didn’t hear me.

“We’re having twins.” Mason says again.

I sigh loudly. The technician prints out our pictures and sends us on our way. Mason is still in shock and all I can think about is looking like a house and wondering how I’m expected to push not one, but two babies out of me. I’m never going to be the same again.

* * *

Christmas is just around the corner and I’m big as house already, or at least I feel like I am. Mason is going out Christmas shopping since I was put on bed rest. My blood pressure keeps spiking and I’ve got some swelling going on so the doctors want to take precautions and keep the babies snuggled inside me as long as possible. Since I’m so small the doctor doesn’t think I’ll make it to the full forty weeks.

“Knock, knock.” Cooper’s voice rings through the house.

“In the living room!” I yell.

Mason called Cooper to go out shopping with him and Jaylinn is playing babysitter to me. My loving fiancée doesn’t want me to be alone and wants me waited on hand and foot.

Cooper walks in, towing Jaylinn behind him. He places a kiss on my cheek, “Hey pretty mama.”

I roll my eyes, “This mama is not pretty. You should see the stretch marks I’ve got now.”

Mason comes in with a glass of milk and waffles with peanut butter on them. My pregnancy cravings are in full swing. Last night I woke Mason to go get me Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. He did, no questions asked or complaining.

“Here baby.”

“Love you.” I air kiss him.

“Be right back.” Jaylinn says and walks out of the room.

I wait a few seconds to make sure she’s out of hearing range. Mason peeks around the corner and then comes and sits next to me. We both look over to Cooper.

“Well?” Mason and I both ask at the same time.

Cooper was supposed to talk to Jaylinn last night about Brittany. We finally got through to him that he needed to talk to her about it. He has to take the chance and clear his conscience if he ever wants to have a serious relationship with her.

He sits back against the couch and folds his hands behind his head. “I haven’t done it yet.”

Mason huffs.

“Cooper,” I whine. “You have to tell Jay.”

“Tell me what?” Jaylinn asks as she walks back into the room.

Cooper holds his breath and looks between Mason and me. “Just do it.” I whisper.

“Come here.” Cooper says to Jaylinn. She comes over and climbs onto Cooper’s lap. “I’ve got something to tell you about Brittany and me.”

Jaylinn looks like a deer caught in headlights. I send a silent prayer. Please don’t let this be the end for them.

* * *

Coming Soon

Let Me Love You (Book 4, The Love Series), Early 2014

Need To Love You (Book .5, The Love Series), TBD

Finding Us, Spring 2014

Already Released

Trying Not To Love (Book 1, The Love Series)

Easy To Love You (Book 2, The Love Series

Acknowledgments

To my husband, I love you Boo! Thank you for finally understanding what I do all these hours at the computer. I don’t know what I would ever do without you.

Monkey, Love you Monkey!!! Thanks for being Mommy’s sidekick the last few days while I finished writing HTLY.

Dad, Mom, Smooter and Mimi, Thank you for helping me with everything, cheering me on and believing in me. Love you!

My beta readers, I don’t even know where to start. I love each and every one of you in your own way. Thank you for voicing you opinions and calling me out on different stuff. I don’t know how I would have got through this without you. HTLY definitely gave me some grey hair writing it.

Elle, I really don’t know what I would do without you!!!! Thank you for listening to me panic, whine, bitch and complain for hours on end. Thanks for the brainstorming and calling me out on my shit when I tried to half ass something LOL. And most of all thank you for being such a great friend to me.

BFF’s, I love that the ten of us get along so well, it’s hard to find a group of girls like you. Thanks for all the laughs, crazy ideas and advice. VEGAS BABY!!

Heidi, Thank you again for allowing me to use your photos (Thank you Luke and Jada).

My Passion Posse ~ Thank you for all the love and support you have shown me! This is a great group and I love you all!

Sarah, One day I will come and visit you in the UK. I love your edits and little tweaks to make everything I write flow so smoothly. I’m so glad I found and can’t wait to work on my projects together.

Sommer, Thank you for designing another breathtaking cover!

My author friends, Your support makes me feel like I can make anything happen. Thanks for taking the time to always help!

Holly Malgieri with I love Indie Books blog for help with my blog tour and all the other bloggers who help spread the word and support indie authors, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!

And last but not least my readers, Thank you for all your love and support!!!!

Contact Megan Smith

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-M-Smith

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AuthorMSmith

Email: mailto:authormegansmith@gmail.com

Content

Hard To Love You
Love - 3
Megan Smith

Prologue

1 My fault - Mason -

2 What hurts the most - Hailey -

3 I'll never let you sleep alone - Mason -

4 A little bit stronger - Hailey -

5 Changed by you - Mason -

6 Bleeding Love - Hailey -

7 Forever - Mason -

8 If I didn't have you - Hailey -

9 By your side - Mason -

10 Marry me - Hunter -

11 Easy to love you - MacKenzie -

12 Stubborn love - Hailey -

13 My kind of crazy - Mason -

14 Fall into me  - Hailey -

15 Gorilla - Mason -

16 In these arms - Hailey -

17 Stupid Girl - Hailey -

18 Bitter end - Mason-

19 Broken - Hailey -

20 Just a fool - Mason -

21 Save me - Hailey -

22 Let her go - Mason -

23 Moving on - Mason -

24 Demons - Mason -

25 Better in time - Hailey -

26 Casual sex - Mason -

27 Goodbye - Hailey -

28 Come Clean - Mason-

29 Everything has changed - Hailey -

30 In my veins - Mason -

31 Unconditionally - Hailey -

Epilogue - Hailey -

Acknowledgments