Edward Sellon

The New Epicuriean

Gentle Reader.

Before transcribing my correspondence with my fair friends, it is necessary to describe the scene of the amours alluded to in the letters, and also to say a few words regarding the chief actor, myself.

I am a man who, having passed the Rubicon of youth, has arrived at that age when the passions require a more stimulating diet than is to be found in the arms of every painted courtesan.

That I might the better carry out my philosophical design of pleasure without riot and refined voluptuous enjoyment without alloy, and with safety, I became the purchaser of a suburban villa situated in extensive grounds, embosomed in lofty trees, and surrounded with high walls. This villa I altered to suit my taste and had it so contrived that all the windows faced towards the road, except the French ones, which opened on the lawn from a charming room, to which I had ingress from the grounds at the back and which was quite cut off from the rest of the house. To render these grounds more private, high walls extended like wings from either side of the house and joined the outer walls. I thus secured an area of some five acres of woodland which was not overlooked from any quarter, and where everything that took place would be a secret unknown to the servants in the villa.

The grounds I had laid out in the true English style, with umbrageous walks, alcoves, grottoes, fountains, and every adjunct that could add to their rustic beauty. In the open space, facing the secret apartment before alluded to, was spread out a fine lawn, embossed with beds of the choicest flowers, and in the centre, from a bouquet of maiden's blush roses, appeared a statue of Venus; in white marble at the end of every shady valley was a terminal figure of the god of gardens in his various forms: either bearded like the antique head of the Indian Bacchus; soft and feminine, as we see the lovely Antinous; or Hermaphroditic-the form of a lovely girl with puerile attributes. In the fountains swam gold and silver fish, whilst rare crystals and spars glittered amidst mother o' pearl at the bottom of the basins.

The gardeners who kept this happy valley in order were only admitted on Mondays and Tuesdays, which days were devoted by me entirely to study, the remaining four being sacred to Venus and love.

This garden had three massive doors in its walls, each fitted with a small lock made for the purpose, and all opened with a gold key which never left my watch guard.

Such were the external arrangements of my Caproe. Now, a few words on the internal economy of my private

salle d'amour

and I have done.

This apartment, which was large and lofty, was in its fittings and furniture entirely Louis-Quinze, that is to say, in the latest French mode; the walls were panelled and painted in pale French grey, white and gold, and were rendered less formal by being hung with exquisite paintings by Watteau. Cabinets of buhl and marqueterie lined the sides, each filled with erotic works by the best authors, illustrated with exquisite and exciting prints and charmingly bound. The couches and chairs were of ormolu, covered

en suite

with grey satin, and stuffed with down. The legs of the tables were also gilt, the tops were slabs of marble, which, when not in use for the delicious collations (which were from time to time served up through a trap door in the floor), were covered with rich tapestries. The window curtains were of grey silk and Venetian blinds, painted a pale rose colour, cast a voluptuous shade over the room.

The chimney-piece was of marble, large, lofty, and covered with sculpture in relief, representing beautiful naked children of both sexes in every wanton attitude, entwined with grapes and flowers, carved by the hand of a master. The sides and hearth of this elegant fireplace were encrusted with porcelain tiles of rare beauty, representing the Triumph of Venus, and silver dogs were placed on either side to support the wood, according to the style in vogue in the middle of the last century.

To complete the

coup d'osil,

my embroidered suit of garnet velvet, plumed hat, and diamond hiked sword were carelessly flung upon a chair, while the cabinets and sideboards were covered with costly snuff boxes and china. Such were some of the striking features of this delightful chamber. As for the rest of the house, it was furnished like any other respectable domicile of our times.

My establishment consisted of a discreet old housekeeper, who was well paid and not too sharply looked after in the little matters of perquisites and peculations, a bouncing blooming cook and a sprightly trim housemaid, who were kept in good humour by an occasional half-guinea, a holiday, and a chuck under the chin. Beyond these innocent liberties they were not molested. As for the gardeners, they lived out of the house, and being as well paid for their two days' work as if they worked all the week, it followed that they knew their own interests too well to manifest any undue or indiscreet curiosity as to what passed in the grounds when their services were not required.

Having thus given a sketch of the premises, I proceed at once with the letters, only expressing a hope that you, most courteous reader, will quietly lay down the book if it is too strong for your stomach instead of falling foul of

Your humble servant

THE AUTHOR

To Lesbia

You ask me, most charming Lesbia, to relieve the ennui which your too venerable and too watchful lord causes you to suffer, with his officious attentions, by a recital of some of those scenes which are not visible to the uninitiated; and I, having always been your slave, hasten to obey.

You must know then, chere petite, that I have certain convenient ladies in my pay, whom I call pointers, forasmuch as they put up the game.

Last Thursday as I lay stretched on a sofa absorbed in that most charming of Diderot's works La Religieuse, the silver bell which communicates with the southern gate gave tongue and roused me from my lethargy. I sprang to my feet and wending my way through that avenue of chestnut trees, which you and I, Lesbia, know so well, made direct for the gate. Here the well-known chariot met my eye, and it only required a glance at the smart coachman to show me that Jehu was none other than Madame R herself; and a devilish handsome groom she made, I can assure you.

An almost imperceptible raising of the eyebrows and a gesture with her whip handle towards the interior of the carriage told me all I wanted to know; so first looking up and down the road to see that we were not observed, I whispered, 'ten o'clock' and then opened the door. 'Come my little darlings,' said I to two delicious young creatures, who, coquettishly dressed with the most charming little hats in the world and full petticoats that barely reached their rose coloured garters, sprang, nothing loth, into my arms. The next minute we were all three standing in the garden, the door was locked, and the chariot had driven off. The elder of my little pets was a blooming blonde, with soft brown hair that shone like gold, melting eyes of the loveliest blue, and cheeks tinted with the softest blush of the rose; a pert little nose slightly retrousse, carmine lips, and teeth like pearls completed a most delicious face. She was, she said, just thirteen years old. Her companion, a sparkling brunette with dark eyes, raven hair, and a colour that vied with the damask rose, was about twelve. They were charming children, and when I tell you that their limbs were moulded in the most perfect symmetry and that their manners were cultivated, elegant, and gay, I think you will agree with me that Madame R had catered well.

'Now my little loves,' said I, giving each a kiss, 'what shall we do first; are you hungry, will you eat?'

This proposal seemed to give great satisfaction, so taking each by the hand I led them to my room; and patties, strawberries and cream, apricots, and champagne disappeared with incredible rapidity. While they were eating, I was exploring; now patting the firm dimpled peach-like bottom of the pretty brunette, now inserting a finger into the pouting hairless cleft of the lovely blonde. The latter was called Blanche and the former Cerise. I was beside myself with rapture, and turning first to one and then to the other, covered them with kisses. The collation finished at last, we all went into the grounds, and having walked them round and shown them everything curious, not forgetting the statue of that most impudent god Priapus, at whose grotesque appearance, with his great prick sticking out, they laughed heartily, I proposed to give them a swing. Of course in putting them in I took care that their lovely little posteriors should bulge out beyond the velvet seat, and as their clothes were short, every time they swung high in the air I had a full expansive view of those white globes, and the tempting rose coloured slits that pouted between them; then, oh! the dear little feet, the fucktious shoes, the racy delectable legs; nothing could be finer. But the sight was too tantalising. We were all heated; I with the exertion of swinging them, they with the wine, so they readily agreed to my proposal to proceed to a retired spot, where was a little lake lined with marble, not more than four feet deep. We were soon naked and sporting in the water; then only was it that I could take in all their loveliness at a glance. The budding small pointed breasts, just beginning to grow; the polished ivory shoulders, the exquisite fall in the back, the tiny waist, the bulging voluptuous hips, the dimpled bottoms, blushing and fresh, the plump thighs and smooth white bellies. In a moment my truncheon stood up hard and firm as a constable's staff. I put it in their hands, I frigged and kissed their fragrant cunnies, I gamahuched them, and then the saucy Cerise, taking my ruby-tipped ferrule in her little rosy mouth, began rolling her tongue round it in such a way that I nearly fainted with bliss. At that moment our position was this: I lay stretched on my back on the grass; Blanche sat over me, a leg on either side, with my tongue glued to her rose. Cerise knelt astride of me also, with her posteriors well jutted out towards me, and one of my fingers was inserted in her rosebud. Nor were the hands of the delicious brunette idle: with her right she played with my balls and with the forefinger of her left hand she exquisitely titillated the regions beneath. But human nature could not stand this long; so changing our position I placed Blanche on her hands and knees while Cerise inserted my arrow, covered with saliva from her mouth, into the pretty Blanche. She was tight, but not a virgin, so after a thrust or two I fairly went in up to the hilt. All this while Cerise was tickling me and rubbing her beautiful body against me. Soon Blanche began to spend, and to sigh out, 'Oh! oh! dear sir, give it me now! Shoot it into me! Ah! I faint! I die!' and as the warm fluid gushed into her she fell prone on the ground.

When Blanche had a little recovered herself we again plunged into the lake to wash off the dew of love with which we were drenched.

Thus sporting in the water, toying with each other, we whiled away the hours of the afternoon, till tired, at length, we left the lake and dressed ourselves. The sun had long disappeared behind the trees and the shades of evening began to close in. I therefore proposed to adjourn to the villa, where for some time I amused my little friends with bawdy books and prints. But you are not to suppose that my hands were idle, one being under the clothes of each.

Cerise had thrust her hand into my breeches and was manipulating with great industry, which amused me very much; but I soon found out the reason, for presently she said, pouting out her pretty mouth, 'You like Blanche better than me!'

'I love you both, my angels,' said I, laughing heartily at the little puss's jealousy.

'Ah, it's all very well to laugh,' cried Cerise, 'but I don't see why I am not to be fucked as well as her!'

'Oh!' I exclaimed, 'that's the way the wind blows, is it!' And drawing the sweet girl to a couch I tossed up her clothes in a moment.

'Quick, quick, Blanche!' cried Cerise, 'come and gamahuche the gentleman and make his yard measure stiff before he begins, for you know how tight I am at first.'

The little Blanche flung down the book she was looking at, and running up to me placed herself on her knees; then clasping my naked thighs with her milky arms she seized upon the red head of my thyrsus and worked her mouth up and down upon it in the most luscious manner possible. In a few minutes more I could certainly have spent on her tongue had not Cerise, fearful of being baulked, made her leave off. Then guiding the randy prick into her opening rosy little cunny, she began to bound and wriggle and twist until she had worked it well in; then twining her legs around my loins and thrusting her tongue in my mouth she gave way unrestrained to the joys of sensation. I was astonished that so young a creature could be so precocious, but I learnt from Madame R, who had brought her up, that every pain had been taken to excite these passions in this girl since she was seven years of age; first with boys, and subsequently with grown-up persons. Blanche I had thought most delicious, but there was a furore in Cerise's fucking which carried you away, as it were, out of yourself.

So great was the delight I experienced with this amorous girl, that I held back as long as possible but she bounded about with such energy that she soon brought down another shower of dew, and all was over. I was glad to hide the diminished head of poor Pego in my white silk breeches, and it being now nearly ten o'clock I rang for chocolate, which soon appeared through the trap door, served up in pretty little porcelain cups with ratafia cakes and bonbons, to which the girls did ample justice. The bell having announced Madame R at the gate, we went forth hand in hand, I having first placed in their pockets a bright new guinea apiece.

Arrived at the gate, I gave her ladyship a pocket-book containing twenty pounds, with which she seemed well content.

'Adieu, my dear children,' said I; 'I hope before long you will pay me another visit.'

'Goodbye, sir,' cried both the girls in a breath, and the chariot drove off.

Quite tired by this time, I locked the gate, and going round to the front of the villa I knocked and entered, as if I had just come home, retiring soon after to bed to dream over again of the joys of that delightful evening.

To Lais

I am afraid, my pretty Lais, I am in disgrace with you for not writing before, so to excuse my seeming neglect, I will now narrate to you an adventure I have lately had here which will amuse you very much. You may remember, possibly, pretty Mrs. H, the wife of an old prig of a grocer, whom you met here once. Well, she came to see me the other day and, after I had done justice to her charms, which indeed are not to be despised, sitting on my knee and sipping some old Burgundy, for which the fine dame has a great liking, she told me the cause of her visit.

'As you are so generous,' she began, 'it always gives me great pleasure to oblige you and throw anything in your way that is worthy of the notice of such a true Epicurean. Now I have just received from the country a niece whose father has been long dead and who has now lost her mother, so the good people of the place where they lived, to get rid of the orphan, have sent her up to me. This has vexed my good man not a little-as you know he loves his money dearly; not able to get a child for himself, he has no fancy to be saddled with other people's. But I quieted him with the assurance that I would get her a place in a few days. The girl is just seventeen, as beautiful and fresh as an angel and innocent as a baby, so I thought what a nice amusement it would be for you to have her here and enlighten and instruct her. You have, I know, a little cottage fitted up as a dairy; engage her as your dairymaid, buy a cow or two, and the thing is done.'

'But,' said I, 'won't she be afraid to live in the cottage all alone, and if the gardeners should find it out what would they think!'

'Nay, sir,' said the tempter, 'your honour knows best, but it seems to me that these difficulties can easily be got over. I know an old crone, a simple, poor, humble creature, who would do anything for half a crown and be delighted to live in that cottage. She alone will be seen by the gardeners, and my niece will be kept close during the two days they work in the grounds.'

'That will do capitally,' said I. 'You arrange it all.'

Accordingly, old mother Jukes and the blooming Phoebe were duly installed. Two Alderney cows occupied the cowhouse and the new dairymaid set to work. After two or three days had passed, I went one afternoon to see her milk the cows. She jumped up from her three-legged stool in confusion, and blushing deeply, dropped me a rustic curtsey.

'Well, Phoebe,' said I gently, 'what do you dunk of the dairy? Do you think you shall like the place?'

She dropped me another curtsey, and replied, 'Yes, an't please ye, sir.'

'You find the cottage convenient?' said I.

'Oh la! sir, mighty,' cried Phoebe.

'Very good,' said I, 'now when you have done milking, I will show you the poultry yard and my pet animals, all of which are to be under your care.'

As soon as the fair creature had drawn off as much milk as she required, she placed her pails in the dairy and, smoothing down her white apron, attended me. We went first to the poultry yard, where Phoebe espied the cock treading one of the hens.

'Oh, my,' she exclaimed, 'that cruel cock; look at him, a-pecking and trampling upon that poor hen. That is just the way they used to go on at feyther's, but I won't let un do it.' And she ran forward to drive away the cock.

'Stop, stop, Phoebe,' I exclaimed; 'do not drive him away, for if the cock does not tread the hen, how are we to have any chickens?'

'Sure, sir, the chickens will come from the eggs, and if he treads upon the poor hen that way, he will break them all in her belly, other while.'

'Not at all,' said I. 'It is true pullets lay eggs, and very good are such eggs for eating, but they will never come to chickens. It is the cocks who make the chickens.'

Phoebe opened her large blue eyes very wide at this, and ejaculated, 'Mighty!'

'Don't you see, Phoebe, that while he is treading, he is also doing something else?'

'Noa, sir, I doant,' said Phoebe demurely.

'If you look at the hen's tail, Phoebe, you will see that it is lifted up and spread open; there, now look; and you will see the cock is putting something in the opening under her tail.'

'Oh, la, yes,' cried she, blushing as red as a peony; 'I see now, well I never.'

'You see, Phoebe, you have much to learn; but come to the stable and I will show you something more extraordinary. Where, may I ask, do you suppose foals come from? And kittens, and puppies?'

'Lawk sir, from their mothers, I suppose.'

'Yes, but they would not come without they were made; now you shall see what my little stallion pony will do when I let him into the stall of the mare, and some months hence you shall see the foal he has made.'

To this Phoebe could only respond, 'Mighty!'

We went to the stable. The ponies were beautiful little creatures, of a fine cream colour, and pure Pegu breed, sent to me from Burma by a friend.

Like all horses of that colour, their noses, pizzle, etc., were flesh colour, and therefore at once caught the eye. Removing the bar that divided the loose box, I let the stallion pass into the other side. The little mare received him with a neigh of welcome.

'Oh, my,' cried Phoebe, 'she seems to know him quite nat'ral loike.'

The stallion began nibbling at different parts of the mare, who raised her tail, and again neighed. Her lover answered the neigh. Soon he began to scent her sexual beauties, which he caressed with his lips, his enormous yard shot out and banged against his stifle. I pointed it out to Phoebe.

'Oh, good lud! yes, sir, I sees it!' cried she, blushing up very red and trembling all over.

I passed my arm round her taper waist and, gently kissing her, whispered, 'Now observe what he will do.'

Presently the stallion mounted on his hind legs, embracing the mare with the fore ones, and his great pizzle began to enter; the mare stood firm and did not kick He laid his head along her back, nibbling her coat. He moved backwards and forwards. Phoebe trembled and turned red and pale by turns. The mare whinnied with delight, the stallion responded.

'See, Phoebe,' said I, 'how these lovers enjoy themselves. Mon Dieu! how happy they are!'

'La, sir,' cried the girl, 'what pleasure can she take in having that great long thing put into her body?'

'The pleasure,' said I sententiously, 'which nature gives to those who propagate their kind; and some day my little Phoebe will feel the same pleasure. But look! He has finished, and is out again. See how the female parts of the mare open and shut with spasms of delight. Observe how she cocks her tail-see how she turns her head, as if asking for more. There now, she neighs again.'

But Phoebe was not listening; she had seated herself on a truss of hay, and with her eyes fixed on the again stiffening pizzle of the stallion had fallen into a reverie. I guessed what she was thinking about, so seating myself by her side I stole a hand up her clothes. She trembled, but did not resist. I felt her firm plump thighs, I explored higher-I touched her feather: soft and silky as a mouse's skin was the moss in which I entwined my fingers. I opened the lips, heavens! could I believe my senses. She was spending and her shift was quite wet. Whether it was accident or not I cannot say, but she had dropped one of her hands on my lap.

My truncheon had long been stiff as iron; this additional aggravation had such an effect that, with a start, away flew too material buttons and Jack sprang out of his box into her hand. At this she gave a little scream, and snatching away her own hand, at the same time pushed away mine. Jumping up, she began smoothing down her rumpled clothes and with great vehemence exclaimed, 'Oh, la! fie, sir: doantee, doantee. Oh, I'm afeard,' etc., etc.

But I was not going to lose such a chance and began to soothe her with talk until at length we got back to the same position again. I grew more bold, I kissed her eyes and her bosom; I handled her lovely buttocks; I frigged her clitoris-her eyes sparkled; she seized upon that weapon which had at first so frightened her, and the next minute I had flung her back on the hay and was frigging away at her maidenhead; but she made a terrible outcry and struggled most violently. Fortunately, Mrs. Jukes had a convenient attack of deafness, and heard nothing, so that after a good deal of trouble I found myself in possession of the fortress, up to the hilt. Once in, I knew well how to plant my touches, and ere long a soft languor pervaded all her limbs, pleasure succeeded pain. She no longer repulsed me but, sobbing on my shoulder, stopped now and then to kiss my cheek.

Her climax came at length and then she threw all modesty aside, entwined her lovely legs around my back twisted, wriggled, bit, pinched and, kissing me with ardour, seemed to wake up to the new life she had found.

Thrice we renewed the seraphic joys; and then and not till then did I leave her to her poultry yard and her dairy.

She is still with me; an adept in the wiles of love; not the least jealous, but very useful to me in all the other little affairs which I have on hand. As for Mrs. H, I gave her fifty guineas for her niece's maidenhead; and although I have bought many much dearer, I never enjoyed it as I did with Phoebe.

So now good-night, and if you can sleep without a lover after such a recital, it is more than I can; so I shall seek the arms of this unsophisticated country lass to allay the fires that recording this narrative has lit up in my veins.

To Sappho

You complain, my sweet girl, that it is long since you heard from me, and remind me that I, of all men, am the only one who could ever give you delight. In reply to your complaint, I must assure you that had there been anything to relate which would have been likely to interest my young philosopher I should have written, but I know too well that ordinary love affairs between men and women do not much amuse you and that the loves of girls for each other are more to your taste. By your other remark I am much flattered; and if you can frame some excuse to your aunt for leaving home and will come here, I think I can show you how to pass an agreeable afternoon. In the interim I will detail an adventure which I met with the other day, and I think will vastly please your fancy.

I was strolling out in one of those thick woods which abound in this neighbourhood when in a secluded dell I espied two young ladies seated very lovingly together, engaged in earnest conversation. They were so absorbed in their discourse that I found no difficulty in approaching softly to within a yard of the spot and, concealing myself in a thicket, I sat down on the turf to listen to them.

The elder of the two was a fine handsome woman of about five or six and twenty, with lustrous dark eyes, black hair, an aquiline nose, and noble figure, yet rather too masculine looking to be altogether pleasing. Her companion was a lovely girl of sixteen, a most exquisite face of a perfect oval, laughing blue eyes shaded with long black lashes, and a profusion of the most beautiful hair of a light auburn which wantoned in the breeze in a hundred lovelocks, forming a most charming picture; her figure was exquisitely rounded in all the witchery of early girlhood, and its undulations raised certain strong desires in my heart to be better acquainted with its beauties.

I now set myself to listen to their conversation.

'I assure you,' the dark-eyed woman was saying, 'there is nothing in it; these men are the most selfish creatures in the world; and besides, what pleasure, think you, can they give us that we do not have already without their aid?'

'Well, dear friend,' laughed the girl, in a sweet silvery voice, 'I am sure you talk very sensibly, but yet there must be something in the joys of love, if we are to believe the poets, who have so often made it their theme; besides, I do not mind telling you that I know a little more about the subject than you may suppose.'

'Mon Dieu,' ejaculated the dark beauty, who I now began to think was a Frenchwoman, especially as I had already noticed a slight foreign accent in her voice; 'Mon Dieu' (and she turned pale), 'how is it possible you should know anything of love at your age?'

'Shall I tell you?' replied the young girl.

'Ah! yes, yes; tell me, ma chere.'

'Well then, dear; you know young Mrs. Leslie?'

'Certainly.'

'She was a former school-fellow of mine; and a month or two after her honeymoon, I went on a visit to that pretty country seat of her husband's, Harpsdeen Court, in Bedfordshire. While there she not only told me all about the secret joys of matrimony, but permitted me to witness her bliss.'

'To witness it? Incredible!'

''Tis a fact, I do assure you; shall I tell you what I saw, and how I saw it?'

'Oh yes, ma petite, I do not mind what you may have seen, I was only afraid one of these perfidious men had captivated your poor little heart; as it was a mere girlish frolic, it will amuse me very much to hear all about it.'

The young girl, first giving her friend a sweet kiss, which I envied, thus began:

'My friend Clara Leslie, though she has a pleasing amiable face, is not strictly handsome, but nature, you know, is full of compensations, as her husband found out to his great satisfaction. She has a shape that vies with the Venus de Medici, the most lovely figure you ever beheld. When quite a girl at school, she could show a leg that any woman might envy, but now at twenty years of age she surpassed the finest statue I ever saw. I will not trouble you with a recapitulation of all that passed on her wedding night, and subsequently up to my arrival at Harpsdeen, because you, my sweet friend, doubtless know all that occurs on such occasions, but will confine myself to what I saw. She proposed to me to sleep in a room adjoining theirs, divided only by a thin oaken wainscot in which one of the knots in the wood could be taken out at pleasure and thus command a full view of the nuptial couch. Clara told me she would place a pair of wax lights on a table near the bed, and out of regard to me would so manage matters that I should see all that passed between her and her handsome husband, the squire. Accordingly, we all went to bed about ten o'clock one night and I, having undressed and wrapped myself in my robe de chambre, placed myself on an ottoman over against the panel. Assisted by her husband, Clara was soon reduced to a state of nature and stood naked like a beautiful Eve, with her lovely hair meandering down her alabaster back and shoulders.

'“Charles, dear,” said my sweet friend, “do you lie on the foot of the bed and let me mount you, a la St George, you call it, I believe. I do so love that position.”

'He kissed her tenderly, and being now himself naked, flung himself back on the foot of the bed.

'Then, dearest Maria, I saw, for the first time, that wondrous ivory staff with its ruby-crested head, rising from a nest of glossy black curls. Having waited a moment to give me an opportunity of seeing it, she pressed her face in his lap and took the head of his noble toy in her mouth; then after moistening it for a few seconds, she mounted astride him, displaying to my delighted gaze her large beautiful dimpled bottom and lily white thighs, between which I could clearly discern the mark of her sex; then grasping his wand in her little hand, she guided it in and immediately began to move up and down a la postilion.

'He clasped those white hemispheres with his hands, he squeezed them together, he held them open, he thrust his finger into the nether rosebud, he kissed her breasts, while mutual sighs of delight escaped the fond pair. As for me, I was so excited as to be almost beside myself, and felt almost suffocated. At length, I sought relief in the schoolgirl's substitute and used my finger for want of something better. Though this was but a poor expedient, it relieved the burning heat and caused a flow of love's dew, which allayed the itching desire which had taken possession of me. Meantime, Clara's climax and Charlie's came simultaneously and they lay panting in each other's arms. In a very short time, however, he was again ready for action, and making Clara kneel upon the bed he stood behind, and again the amorous encounter was renewed. Four times in various attitudes did he repeat the play, and then putting out the candles they retired to rest.

'As for me, I could scarcely sleep at all; all night I was tossing about, trying in vain with my finger to procure myself that satisfaction which I had seen her enjoy.

'Now my dear Marie, inveigh as much as you please against love; for my part the sooner some nice young fellow takes a fancy to me the better I shall like it.'

'My dearest child,' cried the dark beauty, 'I dare say it is very true that your friend has made a very excellent match and is quite happy in her husband, but what I want to impress upon you is that for one such marriage as that there are ten wretched ones. Besides, I will, if you like, soon demonstrate to you that there is more pleasure to be derived from the love of woman for woman than any that the male can give. We are all alone here in this lovely glen; let me show you how I will make love.'

'You!' cried the young girl. 'What? Are you going then to make love to me?'

'To no other, my pet,' whispered hoarsely the salacious woman, as her dark eyes gleamed and her hand passed up the clothes of her companion.

'Oh; but,' said the younger, 'this is very droll, good heaven, what are you about! Really, Marie, I am surprised at you.'

'Do not be surprised any longer then, my little angel,' cried her friend. 'Give me your hand,' and she passed it up her own clothes. 'Now, I will show you how to touch that little secret part. It is not by putting the finger within that the pleasure is to be gained, but by rubbing it at the top, just at the entrance; there it is that nature has placed a nerve called by doctors the clitoris, and it is this nerve which is the chief seat of bliss in our sex.' All this while the libidinous creature was manipulating with skill.

The colour came and went in the cheeks of her beauteous companion, who faintly sighed out, 'Ah, Marie, what are you doing? Oh, joy; oh blissful sensation! Ah, is it possible-oh-oh-ur-r-r-r.' She could no longer articulate.

The tribade saw her chance, and waited no longer; throwing up the clothes of the young girl, she flew upon her like a panther, and forcing her face between the thighs of her friend, gamahuched her with inconceivable frenzy. Then, not satisfied with this, she pulled up her own clothes and straddled over the young girl, presenting her really symmetrically formed posteriors close to her face, nearly sitting down upon it in her eagerness to feel the touch of the young girl's tongue. Nor had she to wait long; wrought up to the last pitch of lascivious ecstasy, her friend would have done anything she required, and now gamahuched her to her heart's desire.

I continued to watch these tribades for some time, revolving in my mind how I could get possession of the young one, for whom I had conceived a most ardent longing.

Suddenly it occurred to me that, as they were strangers in the neighbourhood, it was not likely they had walked, and that possibly, on the outskirts of the wood, I should find a coach waiting for them.

Full of designs upon the pretty young creature, I left the amorous pair to their amusement and soon reached the margin of the road. Here, ere long, I espied a coach and six with servants in rich liveries, and approaching nearer saw from the coronet on the door that it belonged to some person of quality. As I came up I accosted one of the lackeys, and tossing him a crown, asked whose carriage it was.

'His Grace the Duke of G-'s, your honour,' said the man, touching his hat respectfully as he glanced at my embroidered coat, sword and diamond buckles and pocketed the crown.

'Then you are waiting, I presume, for the two ladies in the wood?' said I.

'Yes, sir,' replied the lackey; and being a talkative, indiscreet person, he added, 'Lady Cecilia Clairville, his grace's daughter, your honour, and Madame La Conte, her governess.'

'Ah, indeed!' said I, with as indifferent a manner as I could assume, and passed on.

At a turn of the road, I again dived into the wood and soon reached my own demesne.

'A very pretty affair, truly,' said I to myself as I took a glass of wine. Madame La Conte, engaged by the duke to complete the education of his daughter, takes advantage of her position to corrupt her, and by making her a tribade renders her wretched for life; for let me tell you, Sappho, there is no more certain road to ill health, loss of beauty, pleasure, and all the zest of life, than this horrid lust for the wrong sex.

'Very well, Madame La Conte,' I soliloquised, 'I shall turn this discovery to account, you may depend'; and with that resolve I went to bed.

Next morning I sent a billet in French by a trusty messenger to his grace's mansion in Cavendish Square. It ran as follows:

Madame, to all that passed between you and the lady Cecilia in the wood yesterday I was a witness. I am a man of position, and if you do not wish me to call upon the duke and acquaint him with your nefarious proceedings, you will come tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock to the big oak at the east end of the same wood, in a hackney coach, which you will alight from at the west side. To avoid discovery you had better both be masked. Yours, as you behave yourself,

Argus

Punctual to the appointment I had made, I placed myself beneath the shade of the oak and, as there was no saying what might happen, or what ambush this devil of a Frenchwoman might lay for me, I armed myself with my sword and put in my pocket a brace of loaded pistols. Soon the fair creatures approached, hand in hand. I raised my hat to the young girl, but as for madame, I merely honoured her with a contemptuous stare.

'Do not be alarmed, Lady Cecilia,' said I; 'you are with a man of honour, who will do you no harm. As for you, madame, you may make a friend or an enemy of me, which you will.'

'Really, monsieur,' said the governess, 'your conduct in this affair is so singular that I know not what to think; but let me tell you, sir, that if you have any improper designs in inveigling us to this place, I shall know how to be avenged.'

'Doubtless, doubtless, madame; I know the French well and have well prepared for all contingencies. But allow me, ladies, to offer each an arm, and do me the honour to walk a little further into the wood.'

The alacrity with which the wily Frenchwoman complied told me at once what I had to expect.

She had resolved to assassinate me. Having made up my mind how I should act, I allowed her to lead me which way she pleased, keeping, however, a sharp look out on all sides as we strolled along. I was about to enter upon the subject of their coming, when suddenly three masked highwaymen sprang out, and demanding, 'Your money or your life,' levelled their horse pistols at us. The ladies screamed; I shook them both off, and as one of the scoundrels sent a bullet through my wig, I drew my pistols from my pocket and shot him dead; his companions then both fired and while one of the bullets grazed my shoulder, the other, curious enough, pierced the head of Madame La Conte, who, casting a glance full of fury upon me and clenching her hands, fell back a corpse.

The remaining rascals turned to flee but before they could escape I brought down the second with a bullet, and passed my sword through the lungs of the third.

The enemy being now utterly defeated, I turned towards the lovely Lady Cecilia, who had fainted, and raising her light form in my arms, bore her off to the spot where the coach had been left. But it was gone. The jarvey, doubtless hearing the firing and anxious to save his skin, had driven away. My resolution was taken in a moment. Carrying my fair burthen to the nearest gate that opened into my grounds, I bore her to my secret chamber and, having fetched old Jukes and Phoebe to her assistance, with strict orders not to tell her where she was but to pay her all needful attention, I saddled a swift horse and rode off to the nearest town, one of the magistrates there being an old friend.

He was much pleased to see me, but wondered at my being covered with dust and at my sudden arrival. I told him a most dreadful affair had happened: that returning home, I had heard cries for assistance in the wood, and had found three ruffians robbing and ill using some ladies; that they had fired at and wounded me and killed one of the ladies; that the other lady had escaped; that in the end I had succeeded in dispatching the rascals, more in consequence of their want of skill in the use of their weapons than from any extraordinary valour on my part; and finally I requested him to give orders to have the bodies removed with a view to a coroner's inquest. All of which he promised to do; and in spite of his earnest request that I should stay and drink a bottle of wine, I made my excuses and returned home.

I found my fair guest much better, and, having consoled her as well as I could for the loss of Madame La Conte, I then gradually unfolded to her all the wickedness of that vile woman and, after delicately touching upon the scene in the wood the day before, told her I had been a witness of it all and heard all the conversation.

At this denouement, Lady Cecilia covered her face with her hands to hide her blushes; and when I enquired whether Madame La Conte had shown her my letter, she said she knew madame had received a letter, which was very unpleasant and which she tore up and burnt in a great rage, but as to its contents she was ignorant.

This was very satisfactory news for me, as my handwriting might have been recognised. So turning to the young girl with a cheerful countenance, said, laughingly, 'Well, my dear young friend, all is well that ends well; now let us make plans for the future. In the first place, it seems to me that you are formed for the joys of love. It is true I am not quite so young a lover as you might desire; but I am more fit for amorous combats than many younger men. I am rich, and though not absolutely a man of rank I am a scion of a noble house. What do you say? I know your secret. I have already seen all your charms; shall we make a match of it? Will you marry me?'

'Indeed, sir,' said the dear girl, 'your gallantry in attacking those ruffians and defending my honour would alone have been sufficient to win my heart; but as my father, the duke, has designs of wedding me to a man older than himself, an old creature whom I detest, I deem this meeting with you a most fortunate one and will accept your offer with the same ingenuous frankness with which you have made it. You say, truly, mat you have already viewed my person with pleasure; take it, dear sir, and do what you please with me. I am yours forever.'

I was quite enraptured with this decision, and it was determined that the duke should be written to in the morning and informed that his daughter, entertaining an insuperable objection to the match he had in store for her, had eloped with the man of her choice.

This affair settled, and Phoebe with many sly glances having made up a bed on one of the sofas, I shut the windows and hastened to undress my future bride. She was exquisitely formed, with the most lovely breasts in the world; and as for her bottom and thighs, nothing could be finer.

We were soon in bed, and all that her finger and the wanton tongue of madame had left of her maidenhead, I soon possessed myself of. Dawn found us still in dalliance; but at length, being both quite fatigued, with a last sweet kiss we fell asleep. The next day we were to be privately married by licence.

So now, my dear Sappho, I must conclude this long letter by saying to you, 'Do thou go and do likewise.'

To Julia

Your letter, giving me an account of your adventure with the Marquis at Ranelagh Gardens, diverted me vastly. Meantime, I have not been idle.

Since you were last here, I have colonised one corner of my grounds. A discreet old creature called Jukes has been placed in charge of that pretty cottage covered with roses and jasmine which you admired so much; and in the dairy she is assisted by the freshest and most charming of country girls. Positively you must come and pay me a visit, if only for the pleasure you will experience in the sight of Phoebe's perfections; but this is a digression and I know you hate digressions; therefore to proceed.

Phoebe and I, you must know, quite understand each other, but she is so pretty, brisk, loving and lively, and time, place and opportunity so frequently presented themselves, that I nearly killed myself with luscious fatigue and, having fucked her in every imaginable attitude, having gamahuched her and been gamahuched in return, I at length felt it begin to cloy and looked about for some new stimulant; but alas, Madame R did not call; I saw nothing of Mrs. H. To write to them was not in accordance with my usual prudence. What was to be done? I was in despair. At this juncture, that dear old Jukes came to my aid, though very innocently, as I believe. With many curtseys and 'Hope your honour's worship won't be offended at my making so bold,' etc., she told me that she would be greatly beholden if I would allow her to have a little orphan grandchild of hers to live with her and Phoebe in the cottage.

She told me that her little girl was a sweet pretty creature, ten years of age, and as she knew that I liked to amuse myself with children sometimes (?), poor innocent soul, she thought I might like to have her.

I at once consented, and in a few days arrived one of the sweetest flowers that ever blushed unseen in the woods of Hampshire. I was charmed, and lost no time in providing suitable clothes for the little pet, and, with the aid of Phoebe, her frocks were so contrived that they only reached her knees. This, you will readily understand, was for the purpose of giving me facilities for seeing her young beauties without doing anything that might alarm her young innocence. We soon became great friends, and she took at once to Phoebe, the swing, the goldfish, strawberries and cream, the rambles in the woods and, above all, her handsome new clothes; all combined to render little Chloe as happy as a princess; while her old granddam would follow her about exclaiming, 'Lawk a mercy! well I never!' and so on.

In the course of a few days, our young rustic had quite rubbed off her first shyness and would run in and out of my room, sit on my knee, hide my snuff box, kiss me of her own accord and play all sorts of innocent tricks, like other children, in swinging, climbing up trees and tumbling about on the grass; the little puss not merely showing her legs but everything else besides.

At first Mrs. Jukes tried to stop it, and told her it was rude to behave so before the gentleman, but I begged she would take no notice in future as I did not mind it and liked to see the little girl unrestrained and happy.

Now old Jukes always went to bed at sunset; I therefore arranged with Phoebe that after the old crone was gone to rest she should wash Chloe all over every night before putting her to bed; and that it might be done properly, I used to go and witness the operation, for it gave me a pleasurable sensation to see the child naked when Phoebe was present.

Phoebe was a clever girl and did not require much telling, so that none of the most secret charms of my little Venus were concealed from my lascivious gaze.

At one moment Phoebe would lay Chloe across her lap, giving me a full view of her little dimpled bum, holding open those white globes and exposing everything beneath. Then she would lay the girl on her back and spread out her thighs, as if to dry them with the towel. In fact, she put her into almost every wanton attitude into which she had seen me place myself. The little innocent girl, meanwhile, seemed to think this washing process capital fun, and would run and skip naked about the room in the exuberance of her animal spirits.

In this amusement I found all the excitement I desired, and should perhaps have been content with viewing her beauties without attacking her innocence but for a circumstance that occurred.

One evening, after the usual performance of washing, skipping about, etc., the little saucebox came and jumped on my knees, putting a leg on either side of them, and began courting a romp. Had I been a saint, whereas you know I am but a sinner, I could not have resisted such an attack on my virtue as this.

Only imagine, my dear Julia, this graceful lovely creature in all the bloom of early girlhood, stark naked except her stockings, her beautiful brown hair flowing over her exquisite shoulders; imagine her position, and how near she had placed herself to the fire and then, say, can you blame me?

In fine, I slid my hand down and released that poor stiff prisoner, who for the last half hour had nearly burst open his prison; as a natural consequence he slid along between her thighs and his crested head appeared (as I could see by the reflection in an old mirror) impudently snowing his face, between her buttocks on the rear side. She would perhaps have noticed it, were it not that my finger had long been busy in her little slit already, 'tickling' as she called it, and she was laughing heartily and tickling me under the arms in return.

Suddenly, as if a thought struck her, she said, 'Do you know that-'

She paused. Never did man wait with more exemplary patience.

'That-that-'

Another pause.

'That I saw-'

Pause again.

'The cock-'

Here Phoebe tried to stop her, but she squeezed her interrupter's two cheeks so that she could not speak and hurriedly concluded, 'Making chickens-there.'

This was too much for my gravity, and I was convulsed with laughter; when I had a little recovered, I asked, 'And how does the cock do that, my dear?'

'Why,' said Chloe, with the most artless manner in the world, 'he tickles the hen, and when she lays eggs they come to chickens.'

'Tickles her! I do not understand,' said I.

'But he does,' insisted the little girl.

'But the cock has no fingers; how can he tickle?'

'Why,' cried Chloe triumphantly, 'he has got a finger, and a long one too, and I saw it shoot from under his tail when he was treading the hen, and he tickled her, just as you are tickling me now, but putting it right into her body. Now, am I not right in saying the cock makes chickens by tickling the hen?'

“Well reasoned, my little logician,' cried I, really pleased with her wit. 'I see, though you have lived in the country, you are no fool, and I will tell you something which little girls are always very curious about but which their mothers and grannies will never tell them anything of. But first tell me why you thought the cock tickling the hen made the chickens.'

'Why, because Phoebe told me, to be sure.'

'Oh, ho!' said I, laughing. 'You told her, Phoebe, did you?'

Poor Phoebe looked frightened out of her wits.

'I hope you will forgive me, sir, but Chloe did worrit so and keep all on about that ere beast of a cock, that at last I up and told her.'

'God bless you, my dear girl. What if you did? There is no harm in that, I hope. There can never be anything wrong in what is natural.'

Then turning to Chloe, whose little cunny I had not let go of all this while, 'Would you like to know, my dear, where the babies come from and how they are made?'

'Oh, yes; that I just should,' exclaimed Chloe, hugging and kissing me.

'Very well; now you know, I suppose, that you are not made exactly like a little boy, do you not?'

'Yes, I know that. Down here, you mean,' and she pointed to where my finger was still tickling.

'Just so. But did you ever, by chance, happen to see a man?'

'Never.'

'And you would like to?'

'Of all things.'

'There then!' cried I, lifting her up and allowing the rampant yard to spring up against my belly.

'Oh, the funny thing!' said Chloe; then taking hold of it, 'How hot it is. That is what I have felt against my bottom these last ten minutes and could not think what it was; but what has that to do with making babies?'

'I will show you,' said I, 'but I cannot promise you that I shall make one, as I am too old for that, but it is by doing what I am going to do to Phoebe that children are begotten.'

'Oh, I see!' cried the little girl, clapping her hands, 'you are going to serve Phoebe as I saw the stallion serve the mare today. That will be capital fun.'

'Serve the mare,' I ejaculated, glancing over my shoulder at Phoebe. 'How's this?'

'Well, the truth is, sir,' said the self-conscious girl, 'ever since your honour showed me that trick I have often gone to see them do it, and I was watching them today when this little scapegrace came running into the stable. So I was obliged to tell her all about it, as I did about the chickens.'

'Well,' said I, 'if she has seen that, I see no harm in her seeing the other; so pull up your clothes, my dearest creature.'

In a moment Phoebe had tucked up her petticoats and, kneeling on the truckle bed and jutting her white posteriors well out, presented a full view of all her charms. 'Oh, my,' cried Chloe, 'why Phoebe, you have got hair growing on your-'

She stopped, and with a charming blush, hid her face in my bosom.

'And so will you have, my little maid,' I whispered, 'when you are as old as she is; but now observe what I am going to do, and mind you tickle me underneath all the while.'

This she did in the most delightful manner, occasionally laughing to see Phoebe wriggling about. As soon as all was over, I sent Phoebe to my room for some refreshments and wine, and while she was gone I gamahuched the lovely little Chloe, which operation, coming as it did after all the frigging she had undergone, roused at once her dormant passions into precocious energy. With eagerness she seized my again erect wand, and putting it into her little mouth, worked it up and down so that, just as Phoebe returned, I sent a spurting shower over her tongue while her virgin dew drenched my own.

'Oh, my! how salty it is,' sputtered the little girl, spitting and making a wry face. 'And is it that stuff, sir, that makes the babies?'

'One drop of it, my dear, is sufficient to make a little girl as pretty as you.'

'Or a little boy?'

'Yes, or a little boy.'

After supper, Chloe, who said she was not at all sleepy, wanted Phoebe and me to perform again, but I told her that was quite enough for one night and that she was on no account to say anything of what she had seen to her granddam.

Now I think, my dear Julia, you will say I have related a most interesting adventure; but really, I wish you would come and stay a few days and share in our sports. I shall confidently expect to see you before long.

To Euphrosyne

Your pretty cousin Sappho will doubtless have told you the startling news, that I am-what do you think? — married! It is true, however, and a very charming little creature my wife is, I can tell you.

Quite free from all those silly notions of propriety and jealousy, her chief delight is to make me happy, not only by giving up to me her own pretty person but by throwing in my way any chance that may occur when there is any new face that pleases me.

With this view, she proposed to me that we should adopt the two little daughters of a cousin of hers. Being poor, he had accepted a situation in the East India Company's service, and subsequently contracted, in the East, an imprudent marriage of which these children were the fruits. Their mother being dead, he sent them home to be educated; and by a singular chance they were placed at the school of Mrs. J, who you know is a tenant of mine and occupies that house near this place which I offered to your papa some years ago.

Of course, after my marriage I presented Cecilia to my household as their mistress, no object being gained by keeping it a secret, and there is a great convenience in this since, whatever they may have thought before about the secret chamber and grounds, as my wife is now with me it silences scandal at once. Now I will go on to relate to you the acquisition this plan of my wife's has produced.

We drove over to Mrs. J, with whom I was always a favourite; and with reason, as more than once when she was a little straitened for her rent I have sent her a receipt for the money without ever receiving it.

She is the widow of a naval officer, and though over five and thirty years of age, has the remains of considerable personal attractions.

She was at home and delighted with our visit. So we opened the object of it.

'My dear Mrs. J,' began Lady Cecilia with the smile of a seraph, 'I have persuaded Sir Charles to allow me to adopt my poor cousin's little girls, and I now intend to take the entire charge of these young ladies.' Then, observing Mrs. J begin to look very thoughtful, she quickly added, 'But do not misunderstand me. I mean not to remove them from your excellent supervision; their education must of course proceed as usual. All I want is permission to break through one of your rules and ask you to let them come and pass a few days with us sometimes, instead of coming for the regular holidays.'

'I am sure,' cried Mrs. J, whose countenance had quite cleared up during this speech, 'I shall be vastly pleased to oblige your ladyship in any way in my power. Pray arrange it just as you like.'

'And if,' added I, 'my dear Mrs. J, you will yourself occasionally favour us with your company and bring any of your young ladies with you, we shall both, I am sure, be enchanted. You know I have some pretty grounds to which I do not admit everybody, but your name will be an “open sesame” at all times.'

'Oh, Sir Charles,' cried the good lady with a conscious blush (which showed she knew those precincts well), 'you are too good, I am sure. But really, to tell you the truth, I was quite frightened when I saw your carriage drive up the avenue, as I remembered I am two quarters' rent in arrears; indeed, I am afraid you find me a sorry tenant.'

'I would not change you, my dear madam, for all the best tenants in the world. But see, I anticipated your fears, well knowing the sensibility of your nature and your honourable sentiments; here is the receipt, and as for the money, pray accept it to procure any little article of jewellery you may require.'

Mrs. J glanced furtively at my wife before she replied; but seeing nothing in that sweet face but the most amiable and charming smile she said at once, 'Oh, Sir Charles! how very considerate and kind you are; always the same noble gentleman, madam,' she continued, turning to Lady Cecilia, 'so land, so generous.'

'Then it is all settled,' said Cecilia; 'and remember to bring some of the prettiest of your young ladies. You know Sir Charles loves a good romp with young girls, and I am not at all jealous.'

'Oh, my lady, I can see you are a sweet creature, and I am delighted Sir Charles has made such a happy choice. I will bring two or three of my girls with your dear little cousins; but will you not see them before you go?'

'Oh, yes, certainly; send for them, I beg.'

Mrs. J rang the bell, and presently appeared two of the most lovely, blooming children I had ever seen. Augusta and Agnes they were called, one nine and the other eleven years old. They had the sweetest and most innocent countenances in the world, and their manners did ample justice to Mrs. J's training. I took one on each knee, and as I kissed their rosy cheeks I felt through both their muslin frocks that they both had nice, firm, plump little bottoms, with which I hoped ere long to be better acquainted.

Mrs. J saw the movement, and smiled archly. Then, catching Cecilia's eye, 'A sad man! a sad rake! is he not, my lady?'

'Oh, indeed he is!' cried Cecilia, laughing; 'and if I mistake not, you and I know all about it, n'est-ce pas?'

Mrs. J blushed scarlet, but seeing that the remark was mere playful badinage and not malicious, she soon recovered her presence of mind. After a merry chat with the little girls, a tip for them of a guinea a piece, and the promise of new dolls, we took our leave.

As soon as we were in the carriage my wife gave me a tap with her fan, saying, 'Positively, Charles, you are incorrigible; I do verily believe that Mrs. J is an old flame of yours.'

'Of course she is, my love; and a deuced fine woman she was, I can assure you; a little stale now, perhaps, but a most useful person, and so prudent. Whenever she has had any orphan girls, or girls whose friends did not pay well or punctually, if they were pretty (and she will not take ugly ones), she has always brought them to me; and in this way for five guineas I have bought many a little maidenhead of her. Yet so cleverly has she managed matters that nothing unpleasant has ever arisen out of these affairs. Except, indeed, in one case which I had almost forgotten, which was rather awkward, as the fool off a guardian thought proper to take offence upon his ward complaining to him; and he came down here in a towering passion with Frank Firebrace of the Guards. He waited in the wood and sent the captain to me with a cartel.

'I was not the man to refuse such a summons, but told him he must wait till I also sent for a friend. I knew where an old chum of mine was to be found and posted off a messenger for him. On his arrival we started to the place of rendezvous, and there, on that deep dell which you admire so much, I was under the disagreeable necessity of killing the guardian of the little girl while O'Brien made an end of poor Firebrace. I was vexed with him, I remember, for this, but he quieted me with, “Don't you see, my dear fellow, in a delicate affair like this, there is nothing like securing silence; and sure dead men tell no tales, at all, at all.” As for the girl, we smuggled her out of the country and locked her up in a convent. Egad, it was a deuced unpleasant business and made poor Mrs. J very much afraid of Bridewell, at the time.'

'Oh! dear Charles,' said Cecilia, 'how charmingly wicked you are, and how vastly cool you seem to speak of it. You naughty man, I do believe you ravished the girl.'

'Oh, yes,' said I, 'it was doubtless what the law called a rape.'

'And what had Mrs. J to do with it?'

'Ah, she brought the girl to me and held her down while I deflowered her. You see the girl was a little Puritan whom we had, in vain, tried to break in; but her modesty was superior to either menaces or presents. Unfortunately, she was very beautiful, and only thirteen, and the opposition made me mad for her. But do not let us speak of it any more; it was one of those contretemps which occasionally mar the uniform career of a man of pleasure.'

'Really, Charles, you quite frighten me with your coolness. But never mind, you dear man, I love you with all my heart and shall never think very harshly of your little peccadilloes.'

The following Thursday brought Mrs. J, the two young cousins, and three other young ladies about whom it will be necessary to say a few words.

Miss Marshall was a poor Irish girl from the county of Kerry, whose unnatural father, a naval officer, having placed her three years before with Mrs. J, had never paid a shilling. Upon writing to the town where she came from, Mrs. J found that her father was her only relative in the world, and looked upon her, therefore, as lawful prey.

This girl was a thorough Irish beauty, with dark blue eyes and black hair, a rather dingy skin, a pretty enough face, and a well-formed figure, though rather thin; there was something taking about her, although she looked grave and sad. She was turned twelve years old.

The next I shall describe was Miss Jennings, a merry, laughing blonde, very plump and pretty, with a profusion of light hair. She had been brought up by her grandmother, who paid very little. This girl was about eleven and ripe for a frolic.

The last of the trio, Miss Bellew, was a tall, handsome girl of fifteen, nicely made, but a little too slight if anything. She was dark and swarthy, a brunette, in fact; but there was soul in her black eyes, and withal a look of languor quite enchanting. As for the little cousins, they were chubby children.

Such being our party, and chocolate and fruit with plenty of cakes and bonbons being served on the lawn by Phoebe and Chloe, we all soon became friends. The refection concluded, and leaving Cecilia to entertain Mrs. J, I took the bevy of young girls to see the poultry yard and then the ponies. I had previously given Phoebe a hint to let the stallion into the mare's compartment, so that when we arrived the animals were in the very act-a sight which provoked the astonishment and laughter of the little girls and made Miss Marshall look very pale and grave while the Misses Jennings and Bellew blushed up to the eyes.

'Oh, come away, come away,' cried Miss Marshall, turning sharp round; but I stopped her.

'Why should they go away, my dear?' I asked.

'Because, because-' and then stopped.

'Because what?' said I.

'Because-I think you are a naughty bad man, Sir Charles,' sobbed the foolish girl, and burst into tears.

'Oh Bella,' cried all the other girls in a breath, 'for shame, to speak so to Sir Charles. Never mind her, sir, she is always like that, a miserable thing to spoil fun.'

'I am sorry to hear it,' said I. 'When I invite young ladies here I expect them to be cheerful and polite, and if they are not we have a birch rod quite handy.'

Mrs. J coming up at this moment, the girls all ran to tell her how Bella had behaved.

'In that case, Sir Charles,' said the good lady, 'we must commence the sports by giving her a good flogging.'

Miss Marshall turned paler than she was before at this announcement. Mrs. J had a heavy hand, as she knew by dear-bought experience, but she was of a dogged and sulky disposition and said nothing.

'How now, miss,' cried Mrs. J, 'say you are very sorry immediately or you shall be flogged at once.'

No answer.

'Will you apologise or not?'

No answer.

'Yes, yes; I see we must make you speak then. Here, my good girl,' said she, addressing Phoebe. 'You are strong, take her up; and you, my little lasses, come, hold her legs.'

And the refractory Bella being mounted, and her clothes thrown over her head, Mrs. J selected from a new birch broom a goodly handful of twigs and, tying them with a ribband, prepared for action.

We all now had a full view of her well-formed white buttocks and thighs; and the other girls, who seemed to enjoy the scene, held her legs so wide apart that we could see her pouting cunny and all the regions thereabout.

Bella, meanwhile, bounding and struggling to be free, only exposed her charms the more.

'Now,' said Mrs. J, 'you young hussy, for whom I have never yet received a shilling, I'll teach you manners, you wretched pauper, I will.'

And she commenced flogging her till the stubborn girl roared for mercy and her white bottom glowed again.

'No-no-no,' cried Mrs. J, giving a tremendous cut each time she said the word, 'I will flog this devil out of you before I have done.'

'Oh, dear madam, pray forgive me. Oh-oh-oh-oh; land Sir Charles, do intercede! Oh, I shall die; oh! oh!'

But by this time I had got too much interested to interfere and quieted Cecilia with a gesture, and the operation proceeded.

Large weals rose up on her flesh, the blood started and ran down her thighs, and at length, with a prolonged shriek, she feinted.

'There,' cried Mrs. J, drawing a long breath, 'take her away, and don't let me see the slut till it is time to leave.'

But at the sight of the poor feinting girl I relented, and lifting her up bore her to a couch in my room; and having unfastened her dress and bathed her temples with Hungary water, I left her and returned to my company. Preparations were just being made for a game at hunt-the-slipper, and everyone being seated on the lawn I ran round the circle, every now and then feeling for the slipper under the legs of the girls.

The little screams, the shouts of laughter, and the fun was tremendous; for you may be sure that every girl in her turn felt my hand between her naked thighs.

With some it was a hasty grasp, but with others I lingered and fairly frigged, pretending all the while that I was sure they had the slipper. To see the little Agnes and Augusta laugh at being so tickled was delightful; and the conscious blushes of the Misses Jennings and Bellew were equally enchanting. As for Miss Bellew, her languishing black eyes shot forth scintillations of light as she fairly spent in my hand; but the little Jennings was less precocious and merely laughed at the fun.

Altogether it was a most fucktious romp, and made me so amorous that I at length proposed a game of hide-and-seek for a change, and unperceived beckoned to Cecilia; we both ran to hide.

Having retired into a deep cluster of trees and shrubs, I put my little wife on her knees and was into her in a moment, at the same time calling out 'whoop'. Into the wood they all came shouting and laughing, but could not for a long time find us; at length Agnes and Augusta taking an opposite vista to their companions, came suddenly upon us just as my climax came. I immediately drew out, and thus gave them a complete view of that red headed staff, at the sight of which, and of their cousin's ivory posteriors shining in the sun, they stopped, turned round, and bounded off to their companions, crying out:

'Oh! Miss Jennings, oh Miss Bellew, here's Sir Charles doing to cousin Cecilia just what the horse did to the mare!'

Then we heard a whispering; and presently I became aware, by the rustling of the branches, that the girls were placing themselves in ambush to see all they could.

The idea of such beauteous spectators brought me up to the mark again in a moment, and at it we went in good style. Every now and then a little eager face would peep out from among the leaves and then be withdrawn in great trepidation, which caused such a thrill to run through my veins that I brought that second embrace to a conclusion much sooner than I had a mind to.

No sooner did they see that I was beginning to button up again but they scampered off in different directions, pretending to be looking for us. Meanwhile, we shifted our quarters and again cried out 'whoop'.

This time they ran up to catch us, pretending, the little sly pussies, that they had had such a hunt for us. It being now Miss Bellew's turn to hide, we all remained on the lawn while she ran into the wood. It now occurred to me for the first time that Mrs. J and Phoebe had disappeared, nor could I anywhere see Chloe.

So when Miss Bellew's 'whoop' summoned us to the wood, instead of looking for her I hunted in every direction for the truants and, at length, at some distance from the spot where the game was going on, I fancied I saw a bit of blue silk between the trees; bending my steps to a thick clump of hazel, I approached softly, and lo! on a little patch of mossy turf, in a hollow space, I espied the excellent Mrs. J doing a little bit of tribadism with Phoebe. They were at the height of enjoyment, Phoebe uppermost.

'Ah, ah, my sweet girl,' Mrs. J was sighing out. 'That is it. Ah, ah, now you've found the right place, at the-top. Oh, bliss; ah-oh. Ur-r-r! Oh, how nice; continue to roll your tongue round and round.'

Then slapping the beautiful great white bottom of Phoebe, which was presented to her, she continued, 'Oh, what heavenly charms, what a skin! what glorious white globes! what a delicious little nether mouth, let me kiss your sweet cunny; let me thrust my tongue in and taste your spendings. Ah, this is bliss indeed. Ur-r-r-r!'

Then Phoebe began.

'Ah, dear madam, what are you doing? oh lud, it do make me feel so funny loike. Oh, my, ain't it nice though? Oh-'

A gush of spending from Mrs. J stopped her mouth, while the movements became furious. Phoebe rolled off on to the grass and the two women lay without sense or motion beyond the heaving of their breasts. I was much amused and retreated without being discovered.

I now thought of Chloe, and wanting my snuffbox which I had left indoors, I went to get it; the first thing that met my eyes was the little girl trying to console the naughty Miss Marshall, who was lying on her side on a couch, with her face to the wall, while the good-natured Chloe was bathing the poor flayed bum of the young lady.

I approached softly, and with my finger on my lip motioned to Chloe to take no notice, and seated myself about a yard from them.

As Miss Marshall's clothes were turned up above her waist, I was able to contemplate at my ease the symmetrical proportions of her sylph-like form.

The fine contour of her virgin rose and the little rosebud attached thereto, all was before me.

Presently she spoke. 'How kind you are to me, dearest Chloe,' she said, languidly. 'I begin to feel in less pain now, but what is very singular is that I, who never had any sensations in that part before, now feel a most singular itching between the legs-in the slit, you know.'

'Just here?' cried Chloe, laughing and putting her finger in.

'Oh, yes, yes. Ah, how nice it feels now you touch it. Oh, I feel so ashamed,' and she covered her face with her hand.

Chloe withdrew her hand.

'I did not mean to offend you,' she said.

'Offend me; oh, no. Let me feel that dear little finger again.'

I approached on my hands and knees and quickly substituted my finger for Chloe's.

'Oh, my dear girl,' she cried, 'oh, how very nice, but I feel quite ashamed.'

Then, as I touched her clitoris, a shiver ran through her frame. She threw herself over on her back, expanded her thighs, and, with her eyes still closed, murmured, 'Come, come here, darling girl, on my bosom, on my bosom.'

I placed Chloe there in a moment, and then tossing up the little girl's clothes, I began toying with her lovely buttocks. Then, kneeling up behind her, I directed my fiery steed strait at Miss Marshall's maidenhead.

The first push took me in about an inch, but, with a shriek and a start, the Irish girl opened her eyes, commencing with, 'Oh, my dear Chloe, how you hurt me, I-'

Then seeing me she turned pale with terror and struggled to get up.

'Oh, for heaven's sake, let me get up-oh, goodness! Mercy! mercy!'

These ejaculations followed every thrust, for I would not let go but made Chloe lie with all her weight on the little Marshall until I was at length fairly into her body. Then, indeed, I rolled Chloe on one side and extending myself on the bosom of the girl and grasping her tightly in my arms I consummated the defloration.

At first terrified, then angry, she finished by hugging her ravisher in her arms and covering him with kisses.

All this, which has taken so long to tell, happened in an incredibly short space of time, so that I was hardly missed ere I reappeared among my young friends.

Mrs. J and Phoebe now joined us, looking very innocent, and I having interceded for Miss Marshall, she and Chloe were sent for and joined in the sports. I had quite tamed the angry petulant girl and she occasionally glanced at me with a look full of meaning and of indefinable tenderness. Her passions were aroused and she had tasted of the tree of knowledge.

It being now eight o'clock, supper was served up to us with a profusion of all the delicacies of the season and the choicest wines and liqueurs. After this we had a dance and a game at blind-man's-buff, and then my guests took their departure, Mrs. J declaring that she had never enjoyed herself more! (Glancing at Phoebe.)

'Well then,' said I, 'suppose you all come again next Thursday?'

'Oh, I shall be enchanted, I am sure, to do so, Sir Charles,' said Mrs. J, 'but I suppose you will not want to see Miss Marshall any more?'

'On the contrary,' I remarked, 'she has quite made the amende honorable, and we are now very good friends. Is it not so, young lady?' I added, turning to her.

A burning blush suffused her pale face, but she managed to stammer out, 'Oh, yes, Madame, I am sure Sir Charles is most kind. I am very sorry I behaved as I did, but if you will let me come next time I promise never so to offend again, even if there are fifty horses and mares instead of one.'

With that I kissed them all round, and handing them into my coach bid them good-night.

Adieu, dear friend.

To Lais

Lady Cecilia has Men in love, and with a very Daphnis too, the beautiful little brother of the charming Phoebe. He came here the other day to see his sister, and prodigiously took the fancy of my lady. As we are far too philosophical, in this our terrestrial paradise, to agitate ourselves with such absurd passions as jealousy, I left Cecilia to do as she liked; so she has engaged the pretty fellow, who is just fourteen and the image of his sister, as her body page, but instead of putting him in livery, has dressed him a la Watteau, a style of costume at once simple and elegant.

Of course, she made his sister give him a good scrubbing and combing before he mounted his new clothes, and now powdered, perfumed and dressed he looks fit for a princess. Phoebe is hugely pleased that Jack is to stay here, and as for little Chloe, she evidently has some very sinister designs on his virtue.

I told Cecilia that I congratulated her on such an acquisition and hoped she would not object to my seeing some of the performances. She laughed, and replied, 'Oh, see all you like, my dear Charles, only don't let the boy know at first, as he is very bashful and timid.'

I promised compliance.

A few days afterwards, as I lay on the banks of the lake listlessly feeding the carp, Phoebe came running to me, and having seated herself quite out of breath by my side, she told me that Cecilia and her brother were amusing themselves in the grotto, in the grove of beeches, and if I would make haste I might see something that would amuse me. So, throwing my arm round Phoebe's waist, I accompanied her, going round to the opposite side to the entrance. We looked through a chink in the rockwork and could both see and hear all that passed.

First I observed Cecilia seated on the mossy bank, and holding the boy, whose breeches were down, between her naked thighs. His hands were toying with her bubbles while she, having tucked up his fine cambric shirt, with her right hand caressed his little stiff thing and with her left patted his pretty dimpled soft and girlish bottom.

'Oh, you dear little fellow,' said she, 'what a beautiful figure you have got, your waist is so small, your bottom so plump, dimpled, and rounded, and your skin so soft; you have such a lovely face, your hair is so silky, luxuriant and beautiful, and you have such little hands and feet, surely nature quite intended you for a girl, only she gave you this little saucy cock instead of something else, which, however, I am very glad of, as you will be able to play with me. Dear boy, do you like me to tickle it?'

'Oh, yes, my lady,' cried the lad, 'very much indeed, and I do love these little breasts so, do let me kiss them.'

And pulling her bubbies out he buried his face between them.

'But,' she exclaimed, 'you have not looked at this other little secret place-but perhaps, you have seen girls before?'

'Why, my lady, to say the truth, I have, but only little ones. I should like to see your ladyship's beautiful cunt very much.'

'Oh, fie, naughty boy, do not use such naughty words. But look, here it is.'

And she straddled open her legs.

'Feel it with your pretty little hand. Oh, you dear fellow, that is nice; now lie down upon me and I will show you what love is.'

And grasping his beautiful buttocks, she drew him to her and he slipped in with ease.

'Now, dear boy, move up and down, that's it, my little stallion; you are, I see, an apt pupil.'

Then holding open those white hemispheres, she inserted her delicate finger into his little rosy orifice behind, and entwining her lovely limbs round his loins, they were presently bounding and heaving with delight.

The sight was so exhilarating to both Phoebe and myself that I lifted up her clothes, and still contemplating the ardent young lovers, commenced the same game myself.

Now, whatever the ancients may have thought on the subject, I must confess I have never seen what the peculiar point of attraction could be in having beautiful boys, as they unquestionably did; yet when I saw that lovely young bottom bounding up and down, and Cecilia's wanton finger frigging away, a strange dizziness seized me and I felt a lust, stronger than the lust for women, lay hold of me.

But one cannot be perfectly happy in this world long together, so that it happened that just at the height of titillation, my climax and I sent a gushing stream into her bowels.

Cecilia and her Daphnis having also died away in bliss, we beat a retreat, to prevent discovery.

Thus you see, my dear Lais, that like a true Epicurean, I never let slip any pleasure within my reach.

I think it behoves us to live while we may and give full scope to those delicious sensual appetites which we can only enjoy for so short a time.

Hoping soon to have the happiness of seeing you here,

I remain, Your devoted Admirer.

To Thalia

I believe, my dear girl, I gave you a full relation of all that had passed here during this last three months on the occasion of that delicious clandestine visit you paid me about a week ago. I am now going to continue the narrative, which I hope will prove edifying to my dear little girl.

You must know then, my love, that I was most anxious to become better acquainted with my wife's young cousins, and as she was quite willing I should do just as I liked with them, I sent a letter to Mrs. J requesting that they might pass a few days with us. They arrived accordingly the next morning.

'Now, Cecilia,' said I, 'I want you to leave us entirely to ourselves; so do you go and make a few calls in the neighbourhood.'

To this the dear little wife at once consented, so taking each of my little cousins by the hand, I proposed we should go a nutting (you know what a famous nut wood I have here). The little creatures were delighted and skipped merrily along. Arrived at the wood, they began climbing the trees in search of the nuts, showing me their little fat bottoms and legs without the least concern.

As soon as they had gathered a pretty considerable basketful, I proposed that we should seat ourselves under a spreading tree and eat them.

'Now, my little loves,' said I, 'while you are cracking your nuts, I will try and amuse you.'

The pretty creatures in seating themselves drew up their legs so as to make a lap to hold their nuts, and as Mrs. J had taken care their petticoats should be short, I had a full view of all their youthful charms. Plump, white little thighs, between which pouted their rosy slits, a luscious sight, enough to fire the veins of an anchorite.

But, as I have no pretensions to that holy character, I was beside myself with desire and ready to eat them up altogether. However, I restrained my impatience with much ado and began to beat about the bush.

'Now I daresay, my darlings, you would like to know where the babies come from?'

'Oh!' cried the little Agnes, 'I know very well.' Then whispering mysteriously in my ear, 'They come out of the parsley bed.'

'Nonsense,' cried Augusta, who had overheard her, 'no such thing, I know better than that; they come from the mother, do they not, Sir Charles?'

'Yes, my dear,' said I sententiously, 'indeed they do; but can you tell me how they got into the mother's stomach in the first place, and how they get out in the second?'

'Why, no, Sir Charles, I cannot tell what made them get there, nor do I exactly know how they come into the world; some of the girls at our school say that the mother's stomach opens and lets them out, but I really do not quite know.'

'Would you like me to tell you, then?'

'Oh, dear sir, of all things, do, do, tell us all about it.'

'Well, then,' said I, laughing, 'I must begin at the beginning.'

'Yes, yes, mat's it,' cried the little girls in a breath, cracking their nuts and very wickedly throwing the shells at an unoffending sparrow who was hopping about near them.

'Very well,' said I. 'In the beginning the heaven and the earth were created-'

Oh, lud, we know all about that, you see. But what has that got to do with it?' cried the saucy Augusta.

'In the beginning the heaven and the earth were created,' I went on, dogmatically, 'every creeping tiling and all that therein is, male and female. Now, can you tell me why they were made male and female?' My young pupils looked puzzled.

'I will tell you,' said I gravely, 'they were made male and female that they may be joined together, just as you saw the pony stallion and the mare joined, and thus propagate their land. There is nothing wrong or indelicate in their doing this; are we not told to “be fruitful and multiply”?'

'Of course we are,' cried the girls in a breath.

'Well, then,' I continued, 'Miss Marshall was wrong in wishing you to come away the other day, for, my dear children, you were contemplating one of the works of nature. Now you know, I dare say, that little boys are not made like little girls?'

'Oh, yes; we know that.'

'Well, shall I tell you why they are not?'

'Oh, yes; do, do.'

'Well then, because that little innocent thing of the boy's is capable, in the man, of becoming a great thing, and nature has ordained that he shall feel a particular pleasure in putting that part of him into that little female opening, of which I see two specimens before me.'

They both blushed and pulled down their clothes.

'When it is in, he moves up and down, and in doing so gives great pleasure to the female, and after a time he discharges into her a thick, milky, rather gruel-like fluid, which is the seed; this being received into the womb and fecundating the ovaries or eggs, which are in her fallopian tubes-so called from a learned doctor named Fallopius, who studied them-an egg descends into the womb and begins to grow, and nine months after a child is born.'

'Oh, but that is very funny, and very wonderful,' they cried.

'My dear girls, it is not funny, but it is wonderful.'

They both looked very thoughtful; at length Augusta said, 'And would there be any harm in your showing us what this wonderful thing which makes the babies is like?'

'On the contrary, my dear little girl, here it is!' and upon my unbuttoning my breeches, out sprang my truncheon as stiff as a carrot.

'Oh, gracious, what a funny thing,' was the ejaculation which escaped them as they approached and began to handle Mr. Pasquin.

'That is the true maker of babies, my darlings, is he not a fine dolly? Play with him a little and soon you will see what the seed is like, and remember every drop may contain a baby.'

'Oh, the funny, big, red-headed thing,' exclaimed the little girls, rubbing and pulling it about. 'And what are these two balls for, Sir Charles?'

'They, my dears, contain the seed, which is formed in the loins at first, and then descending through those balls pass into the woman.' 'Then,' said Augusta, 'when people are said to be in love, it means that they want to join those parts together.' 'Just so, that is the end of all marriages.' 'But,' argued little Agnes, 'do ladies really like to have it done to them?'

'Of course they do, my dear, if they love the man they marry.'

'But why do they like it?'

'Because they feel a strange pleasure in the act.'

'Really, how very odd,' both exclaimed.

'Not at all,' said I, 'let me just tickle you a little in that part and you will soon know what I mean.'

'Indeed,' said Augusta, 'I know already, for when you did that to me while playing hunt-the-slipper, I thought it very nice.'

At this admission, as they had not ceased caressing that great erect prick, a jet d'eau spouted forth, covering both their hands with the warm fluid, at which they both gave a little scream of astonishment and then fell to examining it attentively.

'And every drop of this curious stuff contains a baby?' enquired Augusta.

'Every drop,' said I.

'Who would have thought it,' she continued, much interested, 'how very, very curious.'

'Having now told you all about that part of the business, my dear children,' said I, 'I must now go on to tell you that the pleasures of love are manifold, and I will explain to you what some of those pleasures are.

'First of all is the pleasure derived from titillation with the finger, as practised by schoolgirls. But this, though very exquisite when first commenced, palls after a year or two, deadens the sensation of the little cunny and, what is worse, injures the health. The blooming cheeks will then become pale, the bright eyes sunken, the skin yellow and flabby. Therefore that is not the enjoyment I intend to recommend to you, my dears.

'Secondly, there is tribadism, or the love of one girl for another, which leads them mutually to gratify each other's desires by kissing and licking that salacious part of their bodies. No doubt the bliss is great, but I never yet met a girl who would assert that a tribade could satisfy her. It is very exciting, no doubt, but after working the nervous sensibility up to the highest tension, it leaves you still tingling with desire-longing, wishing for something you know not what, but forever unsatisfied. Like that unhappy Tantalus, forever plunged to the chin in water but unable to drink; so I cannot recommend tribadism.

'Thirdly, there is the true and right kind of bliss, when two young creatures of opposite sexes meet, kiss, caress, coo and-time, place and opportunity occurring-join together those luscious parts of their persons. Add to this the pursuit of pleasure en regie, and to these delights of love I will introduce you.'

The little girls, who had paid great attention, came nestling up to me, saying, 'Oh, what a dear, nice man you are, Sir Charles; I do love you so very much, you are so kind.'

I kissed them both and, with my two hands patting each of their little peach-like nether beauties while they played with dolly of the red head, I continued, 'But before I introduce you to your young lover that is to be, I want to say a few words on incentives. Now, while I disapprove of fingering, tribadism, gamahuching and the like when intended as a sole means of satisfying natural lust, I think such acts may be practised if the natural completion in a hearty fuck is to follow.

'None of these acts will then do you the least harm, because the effect of fucking is to tranquillize the nerves and produce a delicious calmness and serenity. Having now, therefore, concluded my sermon, I will go without delay and find Master Jack, who I am very sure is up to some mischief, either stealing my peaches or fighting amain the cocks in the poultry yard, setting the dogs at old Mother Jukes' cat or teasing Chloe. However, I will bring him captive to your feet.'

I found our young Daphnis at the cottage. But let me describe him to you, for you did not see him when here.

You are to imagine then, a beautiful young girl, but with male, instead of female, attributes, with a polished skin like alabaster, and whose exquisite face is a perfect oval; imagine a girl of fourteen with large melting eyes, black lashes, pencilled eyebrows, nez retrousse, small coral-lipped mouth, teeth like pearls, and dimpled cheeks tinted with the softest blush of the rose.

Imagine a profusion of light brown curling hair, powdered and tied by a cherry-coloured ribbon, rather narrow chest, small waist, and voluptuous hips and accessories; in fine a charming picture, full of grace and elegance, dressed a la Watteau.

I found the young rascal lying at the foot of a cherry tree, up which Chloe had clambered, lazily eating the fruit she threw down to him, while ever and anon he languidly raised his eyes to look at that other fruit which her short dress rendered so conspicuous.

As I conducted him into the nut wood, the two sweet children ran to meet us, and then looked shy, shook their shoulders and blushed. Not so the boy; he went up to them with some gallant speech or other not now worth repeating, and soon they were at high romps on the grass, to my great delight. After a little more of this byplay, he began to take all sorts of liberties.

They retaliated, so that, in a quarter of an hour, the acquaintance was so far improved that they had got his breeches off and his shirt up above his waist; then Augusta falling over the root of a tree, up went her legs; he fell upon her, and then-then at it he went in good style, little Agnes behind him tickling his marbles and Augusta hugging and kissing him with all her strength.

The sight was most fuckrious. His beautiful girlish bottom bounding up and down, its peach-like cheeks trembling from their very plumpness, his stiff little cock, now in, now out; her plump thighs shining white against the greensward and her lovely shaped, hairless cunny. Add to this the various beauties her sister also displayed, and I think you will admit that a lovelier picture could not well be conceived, and I would have given fifty guineas to have had Watteau here at that moment to paint the scene.

At this enchanting moment, seeing Phoebe crossing a neighbouring copse, I called her and, putting her on all fours, engaged her as a performer in this fete champetre. She bounded and wriggled, I thrust; the children shouted and laughed. Sure there never was such a merry luscious scene. But as all things, even the most delightful, must have an end, and Phoebe had been very skilfully manipulating me for some minutes, amidst ah's and oh's and Oh my dear love's, and sighs and coos of delirious buss, she died away in ecstasy. Nor were the young ones long after us. As for Augusta, she fairly ground her teeth in joy.

To Helen

What an age it seems, beloved Helen, since I last saw your sylph-like form enlivening these shades. The very trees seem to droop in your absence. Cannot you come and pass a few days with us? When I think of the austere, cold-hearted man they have married you to, I feel oppressed with a sadness which no delights can dispel. Come then, my lovely Helen, and rejoice me with a view of your charms once more.

You ask me for news of our doings here; and though I have always some new adventure to relate, I should do so with more pleasure could I but identify you with this paradise.

Cecilia and I diversify our amusements. To this end she has the most cavalier servant in the world, and I two sweet girls who are entirely at my disposal.

I wish you could see Phoebe and Chloe, for you would scarcely find anywhere more lovely creatures.

Then there are my wife's little cousins, Augusta and Agnes, who come from school sometimes, and who I have initiated in all the mysteries of Venus.

Yesterday we had a garden party attended by Mrs. J and three of her pupils, Mesdames Bellew, Marshall and Jennings, besides the cousins.

The sports consisted of swinging, blind-man's-buff, hunt-the-slipper, hide-and-seek, and concluded with a bath in the lake and supper on the lawn.

My new swing was hailed with acclamations by the young ladies, who with Chloe and Phoebe, not forgetting Lady Cecilia, were speedily seated therein. This filled up every seat, which relieved Mrs. J, poor woman, as she had no desire, she said, to make an exhibition of herself at her age. And entre nous, she is a little passe, and has, besides, such a tremendous black bearskin in a certain quarter that the sight of so grim an affair would have spoiled the view. As for our little Daphnis (that is his nom d'amour, you know, otherwise he rejoices in the vulgar epithet of 'Jack'), he was in raptures and ran along the line of beauty trying to see all he could. Then, oh, the laughter, the little screams, the coquettish attempts to prevent him seeing their charms, and the badinage and saucy jokes that were bandied about, made up a scene which quite beggars description. Then as soon as the swing began to move and swung high in the air, the fun grew fast and furious and the sight was not only exciting but also most singular; for as I sat underneath, as they swung over my head, I could not see anything but bottoms, thighs, legs, and pretty little feet, all of a row. Occasionally, to obtain a firmer seat, one of them would give a wriggle or twist, which showed me some new charm-a nymphoe or clitoris would pop out-and with each movement I discovered new beauties. When they were tired of this fun, we played blind-man's-buff, I of course being blind man. The little pussies were pretty rough in their play, pushing me about at their pleasure and taking all manner of liberties; but no sooner had I caught one of them but I took my revenge, putting my hand up her clothes without ceremony. Feeling a luscious, pouting little cunny, on which a soft down was beginning to sprout, I at once recognised it and cried out, 'Ah! I know you, it is Miss Bellew.'

'Right, right!' shouted the merry voices, and pulling off the handkerchief I at once made her pay toll before them all. You will observe we went far beyond kissing here. In fact, tossing up the young lady's petticoats, I pushed her gently on her hands and knees, and having long been primed was into her in a moment. As for the others, with many a gay repartee, they seated themselves in a circle and watched the performance.

Poor Miss Bellew, as you may suppose (though nothing loth to the thing itself), would have preferred a more private place. But seeing there was no escape, she submitted with a good grace. Indeed, she need not have distressed herself, for her companions, stimulated by what they saw, were soon so fully occupied themselves as to pay little attention to us. Cecilia led Daphnis into a little grove, sacred to Priapus; Phoebe and Mrs. J disappeared down an avenue; Augusta and Chloe became little tribades for the time; while the others were all frigging away right and left.

Sure the Isle of Capri in the days of Tiberius could have shown no more voluptuous scenes than those which startled the very birds in the trees from their propriety.

But, alas! this is but a terrestrial Elysium, and we soon found that we were neither gods nor goddesses. Half an hour satisfied all our desires for that bout, and all were soon seated for a game of hunt-the-slipper, which passed off with the usual pleasantries of frigging and feeling, in which I allowed Daphnis to share, and the young wag set us all in a roar by insisting that as he could not find the slipper he was sure Mrs. J had put it up her cunt, and in spite of all her protestations he would feel for himself, which I have no doubt that cunning and salacious dame relished most heartily. You must know, my love, that Mrs. J is still a fine woman. Ten or twelve years ago, she often had me panting on her bosom. Phew! those days are gone by; I require more juvenile stuff to give me a stiffener now.

Then came the romping game of hide-and-seek, which produced great fun. But by far the most recherche scene of all was the bath. You know that lovely lake, my Helen; for 'twas in its crystal water we first enjoyed love's blisses together.

In a few minutes we were all undressed and sportively splashing each other, swimming, kissing, tickling, fucking. Oh, ye gods, what a scene it was. Such perfect abandon I do verily believe was never witnessed, even at the Dionysian festivals of ancient Greece. But one thing was wanting to make us mad as the satyrs and bacchantes of those times. And that one thing I resolved to have-wine. I despatched Phoebe and Daphnis for a dozen of Burgundy. The cup circulated; we all became intoxicated; we performed prodigies of lust, gamahuched, and did everything that the most wanton imagination can conceive; so that coming at length out of the lake, in which some of the girls were near to being drowned, none of the party save Cecilia, Mrs. J, and myself could dress ourselves. Calling in the aid then of old Mrs. Jukes, we first put Phoebe, Chloe and Daphnis to bed. Then, huddling on the clothes of the other young ladies, we got them, as best we might, to the coach and sent them home at seven o'clock that summer's evening, as completely drunk as ever was a lady of pleasure in Covent Garden.

As for Cecilia and myself, we partook of a light supper, went to bed, and were soon in the arms of Morpheus.

To Livia

I find from my excellent friend, Mrs. J, that she has given you an elaborate account of our late doings here, when we emulated the ancients with our Bacchanalian orgies. The finish of that scene was not, I must confess, at all to my taste, and we all suffered more or less the next day for our excess. I have therefore determined not to proceed to such lengths again.

Yesterday, being the breaking up for the holidays at Mrs. J's, I proposed to her to invite the whole school of twenty-six young ladies. But not to injure the interests of the good lady, I promised that any little amorous fun that took place should be covert and accidental, apparently.

That if any of the innocent ones saw aught that might shock their notions of propriety, it should be so managed that they would never think it was a premeditated affront.

To this end I caused the statues of Priapus to be wreathed with laurel and ivy about the middle. I locked up all the naughty books and pictures, and as it was not intended to proceed to any voluptuous extremities while the young ladies were with us, I introduced on this occasion an excellent band of musicians, who were located in a tent pitched on a spot where they could observe little of the proceedings. From Ranelagh Gardens I brought Jackson, the fireworks man, at an expense of twenty pounds. During the morning he was very busy hanging variegated lamps on both sides of every verdant valley, and the taste he displayed was wonderful. The weather continued delicious, clear and warm, so it promised to be very effective. Meantime a sumptuous refection was prepared. The new and old swing were dusted and got ready, the fountains were set a-playing, and when at three o'clock the young ladies arrived all was in readiness. Lady Cecilia looked charming in a white satin commode and quilted hoop of pink silk; her hair was delicately powdered, and Renaud, that prince of coiffeurs, had coquettishly placed a real rose on one side of her head, which had a vastly pretty effect. As for me I wore my grey riffling coat, a pompadour waistcoat, grey satin breeches and silks, with my best pair of diamond buckles in my shoes. I also, in honour of my company, mounted my gold-hilted sword, mechlin lace ruffles, bag and solitaire.

Upon the arrival of the school we first of all discussed the viands set out on the grass under the shade of a wide-spreading elm. Six and twenty girls sitting on the lawn, you will readily suppose, could not all place themselves so correctly but what I got many a sly peep at legs, thighs, and cunnies I had never seen before; and the best of it was they were not the least aware of it, nor did the knowing ones- Mesdames Marshall, Jennings, Bellew, Augusta and Agnes-venture to give them a hint; so there I sat, eating the wing of a chicken and viewing the secret charms of four or five of the finest girls in the world.

The repast over, we proceeded to walk round the grounds, and when we came to the terminal figure of Priapus, the god of the garden, they all came to a halt; and while they considered him attentively, they asked me to explain all about his worship in ancient times, which I did to their entire satisfaction.

One tall, elegant girl of fourteen, Miss Medley, showed more curiosity than the others, and lingered behind to have a private view of the divinity. I had no doubt she wanted to see what it was the ivy concealed; so after we had got a little further I pretended that I had left my snuff box indoors, and deputing Cecilia to show them everything I stealthily returned and creeping up among the foliage at the back of the statue beheld the ivy removed and Miss Medley, on tiptoe, trying to rub her cunny against the marble Priape. Altering my position, therefore, so that she could see from my waist to my knees, but not my face, which the leaves concealed, I pulled out my own priape, which I handled till it was as big as the rural god's. She was some time before she saw it, but at length, when she did (supposing it was one of the musicians who was standing behind a tree for a necessary purpose), she re-covered the statue, and placing herself behind it peeped out to see all that she could without being seen. Of course, I shook the staff about and showed it off to the best advantage. She (not knowing I had seen her) displayed no alarm, nothing but intense curiosity, but I saw her right hand disappear under her clothes in a very mysterious manner; and from that moment I knew she was mine. With two strides I was beside her, finger on lip. She looked petrified with terror and shame, but I soon reassured her.

'My dear girl,' said I, 'this is what you want' (placing it in her hand), 'not the marble one, which is only to look at. Let me show you what use it is put to, and I promise not to tell Mrs. J anything I have seen.'

'Oh, pray, good sir, what would you do? Consider my honour, my virtue. Ah, my goodness, what will become of me?'

'Why, certainly,' said I, 'it would not be very pleasant for your mamma to be told how you have acted-to have looked so long at a naked man when by quickly walking away you would scarcely have seen him. Oh, fie, miss.'

'Oh, but, Sir Charles, you will not tell, will you?'

'Certainly not, if you comply with my wishes.'

And I clasped her firm posteriors with one hand and her beautiful glowing cunny with the other.

'But, Sir Charles, will it not hurt very much?'

'Well, it will hurt a little at first, but the pleasure will soon drown the pain.'

She was silent, but I felt her hand tremble as she squeezed my great prick between her white, tapering fingers.

That was enough, so lifting her in my arms I bore her to a little grove in which was a tool house never visited by anybody but the gardeners, and here putting a bundle of matting on a turned over wheelbarrow, I deposited the fair girl and was soon driving away at her maidenhead.

She bit her lip with the pain but did not cry out, which I considered a good omen; so caressingly slapping her thighs and handling her breasts and buttocks, I soon found a sensible moisture in that luscious part into which I was forcing my way-the darling girl was spending. Soon she gave tongue in delirious ejaculation: 'Ah! where am I? Oh! how nice it is. Ah-oh-bl-bliss! Ah, oh, ur-r-r-r!'

And grinding her teeth, she nearly squeezed the breath out of me, hugging me with her arms and entwining her thighs around my loins with a tiger-like strength that nearly broke my back.

This girl, who had large open blue eyes and a confident bold air, had evidently found what she had long required, only she did not know it, and that was a good stiff cock. And having found it, she had a good mind to keep it, for my crisis having come and desiring to withdraw, she would by no means let me, but planted her touches so wantonly and with such good effect that positively (a rare thing at my time of life) I got a second erection within ten minutes of the departure of the first.

She now grew quite bold and whispered to me not to let it come so soon.

It consequently happened that we lingered half an hour in that delightful spot.

As soon as the beauteous Miss Medley had a little recovered herself, I raised her up and offered her my arm and together went in search of her companions.

'Well?' said I, 'you find the real surpasses the beau ideal?'

'Not the same thing at all,' she whispered, pressing my arm.

'What pains me is the reflection that just as I have won, I am to lose you. You go home tomorrow, do you not?'

'Yes, that is so,' she said; then hesitating a little, she added, 'but if you really desire it, that need not prevent your seeing me, as I live no further off than Richmond, and there are numerous lovely secluded spots where we could meet.'

I stopped involuntarily with surprise, then catching her up in my arms I covered her with kisses, exclaiming, 'Why, my angel, this is more than my fondest hopes could have suggested. Do you really mean what you say? Or, come now, acknowledge that you are laughing at me.'

'I, not the least in the world.'

'Then you really mean what you say.'

'Mafoi, yes; I find you a gallant man.'

I took off my hat and made a lower bow to Miss Medley than I ever made to a little miss before.

Then we pursued our conversation and she gave me full directions where I was to meet her, on what days, and at what hour. By the time she had finished we found ourselves in the midst of the merrymakers.

'Why, goodness gracious,' cried a dozen voices at once, 'where have you two been all this while? We had quite lost you both.'

Poor Miss Medley blushed, but I came to the rescue, quickly saying, 'You know, I went indoors for my snuff box; in returning I made a detour through the maze to see if the lamps had been hung to my mind and found Miss Medley, who had quite lost herself in its intricate winding and shouted to me to show her the way out, which after some time I was able to do, and here we are.'

This explanation satisfied the majority, but I saw the Misses Marshall and Jennings exchange a meaning look, which I had no difficulty in reading, but of course took no notice.

We had interrupted a capital game at hide-and-seek, which was now continued.

It being Miss Jennings' turn to hide, away she tripped into the wood, but as she passed me she managed to squeeze a little crumpled billet, written in pencil, into my hand. As soon therefore as we heard 'whoop', away we ran in every direction, and finding myself alone I seized the opportunity of reading it.

It was of a brevity perfectly Spartan: 'The tool house.'

To the tool house I therefore proceeded as fast as possible, taking care none of the huntresses should see which way I took and pondering all the way on those two words.

Had it been Miss Marshall, all would have been clear enough, but what did the little Jennings know about the tool house?

In the midst of my cogitations I saw it before me.

With a hasty glance to see that no one had followed me, I sprang over the threshold and shot the bolt behind me, and at that moment was clasped in the arms of the amorous girl.

'Oh, dear Sir Charles,' she exclaimed, 'this is kind of you, but you did awaken my passions, you know, and having aroused them, you will love me a little, will you not?'

'My darling girl,' I cried, kneeling at her feet and sliding my hands under her clothes, grasping her naked thighs, 'can you doubt it?'

'Well, yes, dear Sir Charles, I did doubt, for you are such a roue and such a votary to promiscuous love that I feared you might overlook poor little me, and now that bold Miss Medley with her great blue eyes has ensnared you-for you don't suppose your tale of the maze deceived me in the least…'

'Really,' said I, laughing.

'Oh, you are a terrible rake, Sir Charles.'

'You flatter me,' I said, with a low bow.

'And then,' cried the impetuous girl, as her dark eyes flashed, 'I have to contend against the charms of Lady Cecilia, and Phoebe, and little Chloe, and-'

'Stop, stop,' I exclaimed, 'and halte la! In these precincts sacred to Venus and Priapus the green-eyed monster Jealousy is never allowed to intrude; my love extends to beauty wherever it is to be found, and like the bee I fly from flower to flower and extract the sweets from each; be satisfied then, my precious girl, with your own share, and you will, believe me, have no cause to complain.' And I imprinted a rapturous kiss on her damask cheek.

'But we are wasting precious moments in words, ma petite, let us proceed to deeds, if you please.'

And suiting the action to the word, I made her kneel upon the gardener's matting, which still remained on the wheelbarrow as I had left it, and tossing up her clothes exposed her voluptuous white hemispheres.

'Oh, my; good gracious,' cried the girl, 'is that the way it is done? I thought you would lie on my bosom.'

'There are various methods, my angel,' said I, beginning to push at the mark, 'and as we become better acquainted I hope to instruct you in the thirty-five positions.'

'Juste del? ejaculated the pretty creature, 'are there so many, then?'

'Oh, yes,' I rejoined, 'and each more delightful than the other.'

And grasping her round the hips, I began to thrust in good earnest. She buckled to admirably, and merely giving a little 'oh!' of pain now and then, straddled and aided my entrance all she could, so that in about ten minutes I rode in at a canter, winning the race by a length.

Then, as she felt the swelling head of my stiffening weapon in the innermost depths of her cunny, this enamoured girl gave full vent to her delight. She jutted out her great white bottom, she passed her hand underneath and felt the balls of love; she manipulated me in a thousand ways; she bounded, wriggled, and twisted, sighed and cooed; her breath came short, and murmuring out, 'Ah, sweet bliss! Ah, it is Heaven! Heaven!' she spent; and my ecstatic movement, by a lucky chance coming at the same time, I sank forward on those white globes in a delirium of joy.

How long we should have lain thus, Venus only knows; but the sound of approaching footsteps roused us from our voluptuous trance. Hastily arranging my dress, I slipped out of the door and hid myself amongst the underwood. I had scarcely concealed myself when a bevy of young girls appeared, shouting out at the top of their voices, 'Miss Jennings, Miss Jennings!'

'Where can she have hid herself?' cried one.

'I declare,' said another, 'I am quite hot and tired with looking for her.'

'I should not wonder if she is in this tool house,' cried another, 'let us see.

And pushing open the door, they led her out, looking very confused and as red as a peony.

'Why, gracious goodness me, Miss Jennings, what could have induced you to choose such a place to hide?'

'Rather say,' answered the lovely girl, recovering her presence of mind, 'how foolish you all look at having been baffled so long.'

'Well, well, we have found you at last; so come along and let us have a game at hunt-the-slipper; we shall only just have time for one game before the fireworks, for see it is getting quite dark.' And the laughing girls led her off.

I was preparing to follow, not wishing to lose my share of a game I liked so well, when suddenly I felt a little hand in mine, and turning looked down on the smiling, rosy face of little Chloe.

'What! you here?' I cried, astonished. 'How's this?'

'Oh, don't be angry, your honour,' said she. 'I followed you and saw all that passed in the tool house through a chink in the door; but I will not tell.'

'Oh, you saucy little pussy,' I cried, patting her rosy cheek, 'and what do you want of me now?'

'Ah, Sir Charles, that you must guess, you know.'

'Egad,' said I, 'that I can discern quite well, you funny little thing; but tell me, do you then like to have me, better than young Daphnis. He, so young, so beautiful, so near your own age, I so old compared to yourself. Is this possible?'

'Why, to tell you the truth, Sir Charles, I have a stronger liking for you than for him. He is too pretty by half, too like a girl; besides you taught me all I know of love; you first awakened those feelings; it was your hand first caressed that secret part which now always thrills when I approach you. Oh, Sir Charles, young as I am, I have all a woman's feelings.'

'Then, my dear little love, you shall have all a woman's pleasure. Come,' and I led her into the wood, and lying on my back made her get over me.

'I am rather tired, my love,' said I, 'so you must do all the work.'

'That I will, and with pleasure, dear Sir Charles; but oh, dear me, you are not stiff, hardly at all; but I will soon remedy that. Let me gamahuche you; and if you like, do you gamahuche me and then we shall soon be ready.'

So saying, she turned round, presenting her lovely little bottom and pressing her young cunny to my lips, my tongue slipped in at once, while she, taking my languid prick in her rosy mouth, so skilfully titillated it that in a very few minutes I was ready for action.

Again, therefore, reversing her attitude, she mounted me and a delightful fuck ensued.

The whole affair did not occupy a quarter of an hour, and this little act in the drama being concluded, we joined the revels.

I will not weary you with a recapitulation of all the frolic of hunt-the-slipper; suffice it to say that without any apparent offence against propriety, I managed, accidentally as it were, to feel many a virgin cunny and many a plump thigh that night.

The fete concluded with a country dance amidst a general illumination and a superb display of fireworks. Supper was then served and my guests departed about twelve, much delighted with their visit.

When they were gone and Cecilia and I had retired to bed, we compared notes of our various adventures.

She, it appeared, had not been idle and, attaching herself to Daphnis and Miss Bellew, had retreated to the grotto where fucking and gamahuching occupied them for an hour. She had also much diverted herself with the innocence of a pretty little girl, nine-year-old Clara, to whom she had privately shown the ponies and, after exciting the young thing with the sight and by lascivious touches, had finally gamahuched and been gamahuched by to their mutual satisfaction.

She laughed heartily at the conquest I had made of Miss Medley's heart and asked if I intended to go to Richmond?

I fancied there was rather more eagerness than usual in her manner, and as I knew her not to be troubled with jealousy, I could not quite understand it. But dissembling my surprise, I answered, coolly, 'Why, yes, I suppose I must go. That girl is quite a Messalina and would never forgive me if I disappointed her.'

'Is it possible,' said Cecilia, 'her bold blue eyes meant something then?'

'Indeed they did,' I rejoined, 'and let me tell you, she is an uncommon fine girl, and quite ripe.'

Nothing more passed, and after a little languid toying, for we were both tired out, we fell asleep.

To Thalia

The following Monday was the day appointed for me to go to Richmond, but all the way, as I rode along, I felt a vague uneasiness about Cecilia which I could not account for. There was a feverish excitement of manner about her the last few days. She was absent and abstracted, gave incoherent answers, or none at all, and was altogether quite unlike herself. What could it mean? I asked myself again and again, but at length, weary of speculation, I put spurs to my horse and galloped on.

Arrived at Richmond, I put up my horse at the Star and Garter, and enquiring my way to the Rectory (as a blind) I strolled slowly on; by and by I came to the wood which Miss Medley had so carefully described to me, and following a particular path I soon arrived at the trysting place.

Imagine my surprise when, instead of my lovely friend, I found an old gypsy woman seated under the tree. On seeing me, she rose, and dropping me a curtsey handed me a little three-cornered and scented billet. I tore it open, and read these words:

I have not been sufficiently careful with my linen; some stains have been seen and my aunt will not let me go out alone-I am in despair.

I put half-a-crown into the old woman's hand and turned on my heel. She stopped me.

'What, your honour, are you going away without an effort? Consider, sir, the young lady is over head and ears in love with you; leave the matter to me, and I will arrange it.'

'Say you so, my good woman,' said I, 'in that case I will pay you well. You know who I am, I suppose?'

'Of course I do, your honour, all our tribe know you well, Sir Charles, for have you ever turned us off your land; have you ever taken us before the beak when we robbed your poultry yard; do you not let us sleep in your barns; and did you not send us camp blankets and provisions last winter? Oh, we know you very well, and a right noble gentleman you are. A little given to the girls, perhaps, like other fine gentlemen, but what of that? Now look you, Sir Charles, we gypsies have a mysterious way of finding out things-take a friendly hint, don't return the same way you came, go the other road, or blood may come of it.'

So saying, and before I could prevent her, she dived into the wood and disappeared.

The plot thickened and I began to feel now really uncomfortable, but you know cowardice was never one of my faults; besides, I had my sword, not the toy called by that name which one wears on gala occasions but a plain, strong, serviceable weapon which had served me well in several duels; I therefore rode on the way I came, regardless of the gypsy's caution.

As I rode along the road which traverses the wood skirting my demesne, I observed a coach with imperial and portmanteaus strapped upon it, drawn up as if for concealment off the road and almost hidden amongst the trees. The coachman lay stretched on the grass while the horses grazed as they stood.

Taking no further notice of this travelling equipage I rode into the wood and, tying my horse to a tree, wandered about in different directions. At length, about fifty yards from me in a small open glade, I could perceive through the trees a lady and gentleman in amorous dalliance. I approached stealthily without being seen and ensconced myself in a copse, where I had full view of all that passed, though I could not hear what was said.

On the grass lay a tall handsome dark man, who I at once recognised as Lady Cecilia's cousin, Lord William B, and lying upon the young man was her ladyship herself, her clothes thrown up, displaying all her hinder beauties which Lord B was playfully slapping as she bounded up and down upon him.

They were evidently very much pleased with each other, and the rapturous kisses, the 'oh!' and 'ahs!' were the only sounds that reached me. After some time they reversed the position, he kneeling up behind her and she wriggling and bounding in the most ecstatic delight.

At length, their climax came. She turned round and throwing her arms round her lover's neck, sank down with him quite exhausted.

In an age when the spirit of amorous intrigue pervades the court, it was not to be expected that a person of quality like Lady Cecilia would be very rigid, more especially as Lord William B was an old flame of hers.

And remembering my own infidelities towards her I should never have taken umbrage at any she might have indulged in, had they been carried on openly as mine were. But this clandestine meeting when she thought I was gone out for the day disturbed me.

I was anxious to gather from their conversation what was the meaning of it. So soon, therefore, as they had finished their first delights and were seated lovingly side by side on the grass, I crept up through the gorse and underwood till I found myself about a yard from them. Here, motionless as a statue, my hand on my sword, I listened.

'I was saying,' said Lord William, 'that this man must be a thorough old beast, a goat, a satyr, my dear coz, who ought never to have had you. The things you have told me, and pardie, I am no saint, really quite make my hair stand on end. Intrigue is one thing, damme, but to debauch children, fie, fie-'

'Perhaps,' cried Cecilia, laughing, 'he would say, could he hear you, that to amuse oneself with little children who are nobody's property is one thing, but to debauch another man's wife is another. Damme, fie, fie-'

Lord William laughed but bit his lip, annoyed at the repartee.

'In fine, my dear William,' said Cecilia, 'it is so much easier to see the wickedness of other people's actions than that of our own. I'll venture to assert that if every man now living got his deserts, there would be few would escape. Let fanatics abuse their fellow creatures, condemning them wholesale to hell-human nature, depend upon it, is the same everywhere, whether under a parson's cassock or a soldier's scarlet coat.'

'Granted, my little philosopher,' laughed her cousin, 'but did you not tell me that you regarded your husband with abhorrence and detestation?'

'Oh, doubtless, doubtless! Yes, he is detestable; a horrid, debauched old scoundrel, no question; but that is no reason you, who have just made him a cuckold, should add insult to injury by calling him names. How do you know that he is not nearer than we think and might suddenly-'

'Appear!' I hoarsely exclaimed, springing into the open space where they were seated, sword in hand. 'To your feet, my lord; draw and defend yourself. The intrigue I could have pardoned, for it is the custom of the age in which we live, but the abuse is too insulting, and on your part, my lady, too cruel; but enough of words. Guard!'

I placed myself in fencing attitude. Lord William (who was an antagonist not to be despised, being one of the first swordsmen of the day) raised his sword to his head en salute; then gracefully he threw himself into the second position and our blades crossed with a clashing sound that elicited a little shriek from Lady Cecilia, who sank, half fainting, on the greensward.

The duel lasted some time; we were combatants worthy of each other. Carte and tierce, volte and demi volte, all the finesse of fencing was tried by each for some time in vain.

At length I pricked him in the sword arm and his cambric sleeve was crimsoned in an instant. The wound only roused his anger; he lost his coolness and did not keep himself so well covered; lunging then under his tierce guard, I should certainly have despatched him had not the traitress, Lady Cecilia, at that instant struck up my arm with Lord William's cane; at the same moment his sword passed through my body. I fell back like a dead man, without sense or motion.

When I again opened my eyes, they rested on various familiar objects; I was in my private chamber. At the foot of the bed was seated Phoebe, her eyes red with weeping. I tried to speak, but she put her finger to her lip and, approaching, said, 'Pray don't try yet, Sir Charles.'

'What has happened?' I faintly exclaimed.

'Not now, not now,' whispered Phoebe; 'you shall know all about it another time. You have been light-headed and very ill, and for three days that kind young surgeon who scarcely ever left your side despaired of your life; but if you will only keep quiet, dear Sir Charles, all may yet be well.'

She put a cooling drink to my lips and, shading the light, moved further off. I found myself from loss of blood to be weak as a baby and, closing my eyes, was soon again unconscious. In another week I was a little better, to the great delight of the poor doctor (to whom I had certainly shown many acts of kindness, never expecting such a faithful and grateful return for it). He told me that the right lung had been pierced and that the haemorrhage had at first been so great that he despaired of staunching it; but that quiet, the excellent nursing of old Jukes, Phoebe and Chloe, who had sat up with me in turns, and an iron constitution had combined to save me. He said not a word of himself or his own skill, so that when, about a month afterwards, being convalescent, I presented him with a cheque for one hundred guineas, he regarded me with astonishment, declaring that ten was all he deserved; but I would not be gainsaid and sent him away rejoicing.

Feeling myself now well enough to hear Phoebe's recital, and kissing her and Chloe and even poor old Jukes with much ardour as I thanked them for their tender care of me, I made the two former seat themselves at my feet, while Daphnis placed a pillow at my back and handed me a glass of lemonade.

'It is little I have to tell you, Sir Charles,' began Phoebe, 'but I will endeavour to be as clear as possible. Soon after your departure for Richmond, her ladyship went out alone on foot. As we had no orders to watch my lady, I would not permit Jack to do so, and we saw her no more. About five in the afternoon Jack was rambling about in the woods outside the walls when suddenly he came upon the spot where, to his great horror, you lay weltering in your blood.

'There was blood on the turf all about, which was much trampled down. You lay on your back, pale as death. Near you he picked up a fan, a ribbon and a lady's glove. Returning to the dairy at speed he at once told us what had happened, directed us to bring your body in quietly and make up a bed in this room while he galloped off for the doctor.'

'My dear boy,' said I, extending him my hand, 'your presence of mind and decision in all probability saved my life. I thank you, and will remember it. Go on, Phoebe.'

'Well, sir, we did just as he bid us, and the doctor came; you know the rest.'

'And Lady Cecilia?' I exclaimed.

'Oh,' said Phoebe, 'Jack must tell you all about her ladyship, for as soon as he had heard what the doctor had to say and saw you in good hands, he brought your horse, which you had left tied to a tree, into the yard, put a pair of loaded pistols into the holsters, buckled on your short sword and rode away.'

'Do you, then, continue the narrative, Daphnis,' said I.

The boy hesitated a moment, and then began.

'You will readily understand, Sir Charles, that being quick of apprehension, seeing you lying there with your drawn sword still in your hand, a glove, a ribbon, a fan and the prints of strange footmarks, and those, too, from shoes not such as are generally worn by the vulgar or by highwaymen, I rapidly came to the conclusion that my lady had met a gallant in the wood, that you had surprised them, and that the duel was the consequence.

Then I followed the footprints in the moist mossy turf, which showed clear owing to the recent rains, until they nearly reached the road; here the marks of wheels appeared: a coach-and-four had been driven off the road and into the wood, had stopped where the footprints ended and then, skirting the wood, had debouched on the road. Putting spurs to your horse's flanks, I galloped on. At the next town I heard news of the fugitives; twelve miles further on they had changed horses; at the next six miles they had supped. It was now quite dark, but still I galloped on; soon however I lost them; there were three roads in diverse directions and no one could give me a clue as to the one they had taken. Horse and self being now quite worn out, I stopped at the nearest inn and retired to rest. The next morning I made the best of my way to Hastings. Here I learnt that a lady and gentleman answering their description had sailed for France five hours before.'

I thanked Daphnis for his zeal, but assured him he had taken a great deal of unnecessary trouble.

I will now conclude this long story by telling you I subsequently heard that Lord William had quarrelled with a Frenchman at a public gaming table, blows had ensued which resulted in a duel and the Frenchman had left his lordship stark dead on the field.

As for Lady Cecilia, broken-hearted at the loss of her cousin and lover, she entered a convent of Benedictine nuns and has lately taken the black veil.

But it is time to put an end to this long letter, so, adieu!

CONCLUSION

To Thalia

You ask me, dear friend, where I have been hiding myself the last fifteen years. Alas! we are both that much older since we last corresponded. I was, however, about to indite a letter to you, having heard from Jack Bellsize that you had just returned from India with your husband, the General.

You duly received my communication of the affair with Lord William B, you tell me, and wrote a long letter in reply, but I never got it.

After these unfortunate events I took a disgust to my villa at Twickenham, which I sold for a good price to Sir Bulkeley H, and retreated, with Phoebe, Chloe, Daphnis and old Jukes, to my Herefordshire estate, where I have resided ever since.

As for Miss Medley, having heard from the gypsy of my intended departure she decamped one night from her aunt's and joined us. She remained with me about five years but when an opportunity arose for her to make an advantageous marriage with a young farmer, I persuaded her to have him and stocked their farm for them.

To Mrs. J, I presented the house in which she lived, fairing an affectionate farewell of that excellent lady. Augusta and Agnes I suitably provided for, and also found husbands for Miss Marshall and Miss Jennings, giving to each a dowry.

Poor old Jukes died five years since, come Michaelmas. Daphnis I started in life with an ensign's commission in a marching regiment when he was about eighteen; poor lad, he fell gloriously while leading his men in the forlorn hope of storming some place in the Low Countries (not Cunnyland), such are the fortunes of war; and a more gallant youth never campaigned in the fields of Venus or Mars.

Phoebe, now a fine buxom woman of thirty-five, retains all her good looks and much of her freshness. She is sweet tempered and affectionate as ever.

Chloe has grown up a lovely creature and is now twenty-eight.

Having 'lived every day of my life', as the saying is, you will readily suppose that I cannot perform the feats of Venus I once indulged in, but two or three blooming little girls who pass for the sisters and cousins of Phoebe and Chloe serve to amuse me by their playfulness, and, tumbling about showing their beauties, sometimes stir my sluggish blood into a thrill.

Occasionally I am able to remind Phoebe and Chloe of my old vigour and have a fucktious romp, but. . 'From fifty to four-score, once a week and no more.'

They each have a strapping young fellow as a lover, and my consideration in this regard, so far from alienating them, only makes them more amiable and compliant to my wishes.

By my neighbours these dear girls and old friends are regarded as favourite domestics merely, a discreet old woman, the cook, who supplied old Jukes' place, lending propriety. So I am no longer a rake.

The rector of the parish is my very good friend.

My faithful surgeon lives in the house, being still a bachelor.

So, with the extra aid of two neighbouring squires, we have our bowl of punch and a rubber.

This quiet life suits me admirably, and I have forever bid adieu to the gay world and the pleasures of the town, passing much of my time in reading those philosophical writers who are just now making such an impression on the public mind.

And now, dear friend, having given you all the news, I would fain express a hope that you will some day find your way into this remote region, but if the fates decree otherwise, then accept my farewell. Vale! Vale! Longum Vale!

Content

Edward Sellon
The New Epicuriean

To Lesbia

To Lais

To Sappho

To Julia

To Euphrosyne

To Lais

To Thalia

To Helen

To Livia

To Thalia

CONCLUSION