Aftershock

Afterburn & Aftershock - 2

Sylvia Day

Dedication

This one is for all the Cosmo girls.

Acknowledgments

My gratitude to Kimberly Whalen, Ann Leslie Tuttle, and Dianne Moggy—the fun, fearless women taking this journey with me.

And to my dear readers, who inspire me every day. Thank you!

Dear Reader,

I’m so excited to be sharing Jackson and Gianna’s story with you. While Jax and Gia are discovering the possibilities of second chances, we’re exploring new opportunities with this collaboration between Mills & Boon, Cosmopolitan and me. Like every Cosmo girl out there, I’m always thrilled to blaze new trails.

I’ve been a Cosmo girl and romance reader for nearly as long as I can remember. Through every stage of my life, from high school through to marriage and parenthood, I have had the latest issue of Cosmopolitan and a romance novel (or few) on my coffee and bedside tables. You’re never beyond being fun, fearless and fabulous, and we all deserve to find our one-in-a-million guy.

I hope you enjoy Gianna’s story as she takes the New York business world—and Jackson!—by storm. I look forward to talking with you about it after you’ve turned the last page. You can find me here: www.sylviaday.com/community.

Stay fierce!

Sylvia

1

“THAT MAN IS seriously hot. He can take my order anytime.”

I scowled at the television in my hotel room as I unpacked my toiletries. God knew why I’d tuned in to a midday talk show, but I certainly hadn’t expected to see the man I loved on the screen...or to listen to the glamorous hosts dish about how hot he was.

“Maybe he’s going to put voting booths in every Pembry-backed restaurant,” the other one said.

Shaking my head, I headed into the bathroom. Jax’s investment in Pembry Ventures still stung. I wasn’t sure I’d ever forgive him for fucking me over like that. Maybe I shouldn’t take it so personally, maybe it was just business, but there were some things you just didn’t do to someone you love and screwing up their job—an adored job at that—was one of them.

I was determined to uncover the reason why. And I was going to make him pay. Being in love with him wouldn’t change that. I wasn’t sure it changed anything.

I’d just hung my makeup bag on the towel rack when the room phone started ringing. Knowing I probably took a lot more time than Chad did to unpack, I expected he was ready to head down to see the construction site of his restaurant in the very same hotel we were staying in. The Atlanta Mondego was being turned into a destination with a capital D, and I would soon have the dust on the soles of my Jimmy Choos to prove it.

Grabbing the receiver off the bathroom wall, I tucked it into the crook of my neck and said, “Hey. You settled in already?”

“Gia, damn it. Turn on your cell phone!”

Jax’s deep, sexy voice slid across my senses, bringing with it a rush of heated and beloved memories. Something inside me tingled with pleasure that he’d gone to the trouble of tracking me down. Jackson Rutledge was a busy guy with his pick of women. Following me around the country was entirely unnecessary. And really flattering.

I leaned against the bathroom counter. “Newsflash—I’m avoiding you.”

“Good luck with that.”

My jaw tightened. So what if he was an animal in bed? So what if I was happy to hear from him? I was still mad at him. “I’m hanging up now.”

“You can’t run from me,” he said tightly. “And you can’t pull that shit you pulled yesterday. We need to talk.”

“I agree, but that usually means you tell me I’m only ever going to be a fuck buddy to you and you don’t give me any reasons why. I don’t have the patience to run around in circles. Unless you’ve got real answers for me, I’m not giving you any more of my time.”

“You’re going to give me a hell of a lot more than time, Gia.”

A shiver of awareness moved through me. I knew that tone of his. It was his I’m-going-to-bang-the-hell-out-of-you tone. “You wish.”

“I’m about to land, Gia. I’ll be at the hotel within the hour and you’re going to see me.”

“What?” My pulse gave a traitorous leap of excitement. My sex drive had been revved since I’d left him the night before. It was all too eager to cross the finish line. “I can’t believe you followed me to Atlanta! How the hell did you know where I was?”

“Your sister-in-law.”

Denise was going to be hearing from me. She knew better, which meant she’d done it on purpose. “Well, turn around and fly home again. I’m working, Jax. I don’t trust you to be around my work.”

His sharply indrawn breath told me I’d scored a hit.

“Fine,” he snapped. “I’ll send a car for you. We’ll meet at my hotel.”

“I’ve got stuff to do today. I’ll let you know when I have a moment, and I’ll find a neutral place for us to meet.” A bar, maybe, or even a shopping mall. Someplace where intimacy wouldn’t be a problem. Sadly, I couldn’t trust myself around him now that I knew how he felt about me.

“My hotel, Gia,” he reiterated. “A public place won’t save you. We’re going to fuck, long and hard, wherever we end up. Better we don’t end up in jail and splashed all over the tabloids while doing it, don’t you think?”

“You’ve really got to do something about that ego.”

“Baby, I’ll crawl on my hands and knees if that’s what it takes.”

It was my turn to suck in a deep breath. He knew how to get to me, how to open me up and leave me defenseless. I tried to do the same thing to him. “Tell me you love me, Jax.”

There was a moment of silence. “Loving each other isn’t our problem.”

He hung up, leaving me holding on to an empty connection. As usual.

* * *

“It’s finally starting to feel real,” Chad said, looking around at the construction area.

I smiled. “Good.”

He reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. He’d met me at the site, wearing an open-collar dress shirt tucked into loose-fitting jeans. His auburn hair was just barely overlong, with the bangs draping across his brow and framing his stunning green eyes. No doubt about it, Chad Williams was a hunk.

He’d drawn a lot of female attention on the way in, but he hadn’t paid any mind to it. I hoped he would stay unaffected at least until the first restaurant opened. I’d seen more than a few chefs get too cocky from attention overload, and their businesses quickly suffered as a result.

“So what happens next?” he asked, turning to face me.

“The Mondego was just waiting for signed contracts to begin serious construction,” I explained. “The architect will revamp the initial design to accommodate three chefs. When we agree it works for you, we’ll sign off on it and they’ll get to work.”

“God.” He blew out his breath and grinned. “I can’t wait to see them.”

“We’ll get to look at the existing plans tomorrow, which should give us a good idea of how it’s going to be laid out. When we get back to New York, we’ll bring you, Inez, and David together to start hashing out the dueling menus. It’ll be good to come up with some regional variations based on hotel locations.”

Chad nodded. “How much say will they have in the whole process?”

“In their menus, a lot,” I said honestly. “We picked them for their talent and we need to let them do what they do best. But outside of that, you’ve got the ultimate say. You’re the celebrity chef here. They’re riding your coattails for now.”

His mouth twisted ruefully. “I hope that doesn’t cause any problems.”

“I suspect it’ll be easier than working with your sister.”

“Ha! No doubt.”

He joked, but I saw a hint of sadness in his expressive eyes. Things would’ve been better all around if Stacy had followed through and undertaken this endeavor with him. Jax had contributed to that breakdown between the siblings, which was ironic considering how much he did for his own family.

“Have you called her since the news broke about Rutledge Capital and Pembry Ventures?” I asked gently.

His mouth thinned. “Why? So she can gloat?”

“So you can congratulate her. You know, extend an olive branch.”

“She’d be an ass about it.”

“Maybe.” I put my hand on his shoulder. “But you’ll feel better if you do. And later on, when she comes around, you can hold it over her.”

That coaxed out a huff of a laugh. “I’ll think about it.”

“In the meantime, are you hungry?”

“Starved. Let’s eat.” He held his arm out to me and I took it. “There are a lot of great fried chicken and waffle places around these parts.”

“Waffles and fried chicken? At the same time?”

“It’s a delicious combination, sweetheart. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried it.”

“Sounds like it’ll kill me, though. Or at least help me pack on another ten pounds I don’t need.”

Chad lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the knuckles. “In that case, I’d help you take them back off.”

“You are a naughty man, Chad Williams,” I admonished, but with a smile. His harmless flirting was a nice contrast to Jax, who was entirely dangerous in every way.

As if he read my mind, he said, “For what it’s worth, Lei gave me the heads-up that you’ve got a thing going with Jackson Rutledge.”

I tensed, surprised, then realized Lei was right to have done that. Better to deal with any issues now than to have Chad find out later and feel that we deliberately kept something from him. “We saw each other briefly a couple years ago.”

“And now?” He glanced at me. “Is he the guy who sent you the flowers?”

“Yes. Now he’s...” I thought of him in his private jet, flying after me. Wanting to see me. Sleep with me. “He’s back in my life and involved in my business, which I don’t appreciate.”

“Which part? The life? The business? Both?”

“My business is my life,” I said as we exited out to the front drive and signaled our desire for a cab. “He can’t cause any more trouble for you, Chad. You, Inez, and David are set with Mondego. We’re rolling ahead.”

“Can he cause problems for you?”

“Don’t worry about me.”

He threw his arm around my shoulder and tugged me close. “Of course I’m going to worry about you. You’re my lucky ticket.”

I bumped my hip into his. “To what?”

“As if you don’t know, Gianna darlin’. Fame and fortune.”

* * *

I had to admit, the Southern fried chicken and waffles were damned good. I ate more than I should have and felt as if I practically waddled back up to my hotel room. The urge to take a nap was strong, but Chad and I were meeting with the hotel manager at three-thirty and I was worried I’d still be shaking off sleep fog. It wasn’t a major meeting, just a courtesy meet and greet over coffee, but business was business.

I opened my laptop and sat at the desk, sifting through my emails. I answered two from Lei about David Lee before opening the one from Deanna Johnson that I’d spotted the moment my inbox opened. I pulled my phone out of my purse and powered it on, punching in the cell number listed in the reporter’s signature line. I ignored the notifications of voice mails and texts from Jax.

“Deanna Johnson,” she answered briskly.

“Hi. It’s Gianna Rossi.” Her LinkedIn profile was open in one of the tabs in my browser and I switched to it, looking at her photo. She was a pretty brunette with long hair and dark eyes. She and Vincent had made a good-looking couple when they were dating, their dark coloring making for a visual sync. They hadn’t lasted long, but then, Vincent’s relationships rarely did. He liked having a steady girlfriend, but with the hours he worked at Rossi’s, he wasn’t a steady boyfriend.

“Gianna, hey. How are you?”

I leaned into the headrest and stretched my legs out, kicking off my heels. “I’m good. You?”

“Chasing a story, as always.” Deanna’s voice changed, became more focused. “Vincent says you wanted me to look into something...?”

“Jackson Rutledge.”

“Right. That’s what he said.” She blew out her breath. “Care to tell me why?”

“We’ve been...seeing each other.”

Deanna laughed softly. “An enigmatic millionaire with more secrets than dollars? I know the type.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose, knowing it’d be better for my sanity if I walked away. Also knowing I wouldn’t. “I just want to get a better handle on him. I need to know if I’m wasting my time even thinking about trying to make things work.”

“Probably,” she said bluntly. “What are you looking for? I’m not a private investigator, and there are a lot of books out there about the Rutledge family and its various members. Things like ex-girlfriends you can find with a Google search.”

“No, that’s not what I’m interested in. Maybe you can’t help me. Maybe I’m looking for something only he can give up.” I sighed. “I don’t understand why he’ll do anything for his family when he doesn’t always seem like them. He certainly spends a lot of time warning me away from them. I thought he was hiding me like a bad habit, but now I feel like he’s...protecting me from them.”

“If he cares about you that may well be what he’s doing. You gotta figure the Rutledges are like tiger sharks—they swim in the same womb but cannibalize each other until only the strongest comes out alive.”

I froze, remembering what he’d said to me the night before. You’re swimming with sharks and acting like you’re on vacation.

“Okay,” I said carefully, thinking of Jax’s father. “Who’s the strongest shark in that family, then? Parker Rutledge?”

“Without a doubt.”

Jax said his parents had started out as a love match and ended up miserable.... “What do you know about Jax’s mom?”

“Leslie Rutledge? Talk about an enigma. Almost never seen in public the last five years before she died, and she avoided the spotlight even before that.”

“Jax won’t talk about her.”

“I can poke around, see what turns up, but it’ll take some time. Whenever you turn over a Rutledge stone, security teams come crawling out.”

I sighed. I’d been seriously delusional dreaming of a “normal” life with Jax. “I’d appreciate anything you find. And I’ll pay for your time, of course.”

“Sure thing.”

Sitting up, I rolled my shoulders back. I was going to ask Jax outright about his family, but having a Plan B didn’t hurt. Especially considering how things had gone for us so far. “Thanks, Deanna.”

“Hey, take care, okay? Guys like Jax can really fuck you up if you’re not careful.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks. You take care, too.”

We hung up and I set my smartphone down on the desk. I was back to running through my email when my cell pinged for an incoming text. Looking at the screen, I saw it was from Jax. My feet tapped a little dance on the carpet before I realized what I was doing.

I know you’re thinking about me.

I stared at his message and snorted. “Whatever.”

Obviously, you’re thinking about me, I typed back.

I dreamt about u 2.

That made me smile. Dreaming about Jax was one of my wayward mind’s favorite pastimes. Hope it was a nightmare about me blowing a major business deal for u.

A minute later: It was a wet dream about u blowing me.

I laughed. He’d changed tactics from our earlier conversation, switching from playing hardball to just playing. Jax knew when a particular strategy wasn’t working.

I started typing a reply, but he beat me to it. My phone started ringing. I answered and he spoke before I could even say hello.

“You sucked me so good, baby,” he crooned. “I couldn’t breathe, it felt so good. Your hot little mouth tugging at the head of my dick, your tongue swirling around me, your tight fist jacking me off. I came so hard for you. And you swallowed it all, Gia baby. Every drop.”

For a moment, I couldn’t think of what to say, my mind filled with images of me doing just what he said. I loved going down on Jax. Loved the way he felt...how he tasted and smelled. More than that, I loved the way he lost himself with me, shameless in his pleasure. In those moments, I felt the intimacy with him that I craved so much.

“You’ve always loved sucking my cock,” he said silkily. “And God knows I’d spend every minute in your mouth if I could.”

I found my voice. “Selfish bastard.”

“When it comes to you, yeah.” He sighed. “I’m lying in bed, naked and hard, wondering why the fuck you’re not here yet.”

“Don’t you have something to do?”

“You.”

I heard the sound of his email pinging in the background and laughed. “Liar. You’re working.”

We used to play phone sex games with each other, often leading to both of us getting off simultaneously. There was nothing in the world like hearing him say my name when he was coming.

“Guilty,” he confessed, unabashed. “Trying to keep my mind off you and failing miserably.”

“Probably because what you’re working on is the deal that screwed me over.”

“You promised me a round of angry sex.” He hummed softly, with obvious relish. “I’m waiting for it, baby.”

“Not sure you want your dick anywhere near my teeth while I’m feeling this way about you.”

Jax laughed and my toes curled. He had the best laugh, deep and full-bodied. “Even threats of bodily harm can’t kill this hard-on I’ve got for you. Come over, Gia.”

“Can’t. I’ve got a meeting in a bit.” I stood and walked to the window, feeling restless. Pushing the sheer curtains aside, I looked down at the city of Atlanta. Where was Jax? It was a question I’d been asking myself every day over the past two years. He hadn’t had to ask where I was, though, since he’d had me followed. “Besides, didn’t you say we needed to talk? I doubt you’ll do much of that when I get there.”

He was silent a minute, then, “You’ve got a great family. I’ve always known where I stood with them, good or bad. They don’t bullshit and they don’t waste time on petty crap. They’re good people.”

“Thank you,” I murmured, taking that to heart. I was proud of my family, proud to be a Rossi.

“My family isn’t like that, Gia. Don’t be fooled by Parker’s charm. He only gives the time of day to people who are useful.”

“Jax, I don’t have anything.”

“You have me,” he said grimly.

“Are you saying your dad would use me against you?”

“Maybe. Or he’d just use you, period. It could be anything, babe. Just trust me, there’s an angle.”

I absorbed that for a moment, trying to wrap my head around a father and son who didn’t trust each other. “Is he the reason you stayed away the past couple of years?”

Is he the reason you’re determined to leave me again?

“I stayed away because it’s the best thing for you.”

I hated that non-answer. “Yet here you are. Give me a good reason why I should see you, Jax.”

“Because you want to.”

“I suggest you come up with something better than that.”

He exhaled in a rush. “Because I want you to. Because I need to spend time with you. You make me feel...human. Being with you makes me feel like I’m not a complete piece of shit.”

I closed my eyes, my hand lifting to my chest to rub the ache in my heart. I wanted to know why he always put himself down, why he thought he wasn’t good enough for me. I knew I was going to make a go of it just to try to get those answers. Still, I was honest and told him, “Being with you makes me feel lonely. It reminds me that I want to find someone to be steady in my life. Someone I can depend on.”

“I wish I was that guy,” he said quietly.

“Yeah. Me, too.”

2

I INTERRUPTED MY sister-in-law the instant she answered the phone. “Traitor!”

Denise paused in the middle of reciting the name of her beauty salon, then said, “So he called you, eh?”

“He’s here!” I sat on the edge of my bed with a groan.

“He’s in Atlanta? Are you serious?” Denise whistled. I heard a squeak in the background and could picture her sitting on the hot-pink stool behind the front counter of her shop. “He’s got it bad for you.”

“I can’t believe you ratted me out like that. Don’t you think if I’d wanted him to know where I was, I would’ve told him?”

“Come on. I’ve never seen you look at a guy the way you look at him. You can’t blame me for wanting you to be happy.”

“He deserves to stew a bit, Denise. He deserves to miss me and wonder what I’m doing.”

“Ah, I feel you. Sorry.”

I kicked out my legs, my gaze dropping to my pedicure. “No, you’re not.”

“I’m a little sorry,” she amended. “So, are you two going to kiss and make up?”

“It’s not like that.”

“So tell me what it’s like.”

“Boy meets girl, boy ditches girl, boy pops up again two years later, boy screws girl and then almost screws her big business deal, boy wants to screw girl again—maybe both ways—but this time, boy says up front that he’ll be ditching girl again at some point.”

“Hmm.” Her chewing gum bubble popped loudly. “If I hadn’t seen the way boy looks at girl, I might tell you to kick him to the curb.”

“Probably the smart thing to do. So what’s your alternative?”

“Screw him senseless. Rock his world. Show him what he’ll be missing. Make it hurt when he decides it’s time to walk away so he won’t go through with it.”

If only it were that easy. “I think that’s an asinine plan.”

“Maybe.” She laughed, and I smiled reluctantly. “But that’s a fine piece of prime male ass, Gianna. There are worse things a girl can do than spend a few hours in bed with a hot guy who’s in love with her.”

She was saying what I’d wanted to hear—some excuse to go forward instead of cutting my losses and running. “You’re an enabler, Denise!”

“Whatev. If Jackson’s bad for you, think about how good sex is. It’s great for the complexion, good exercise, an awesome mood booster—”

I rolled my eyes. “Hanging up now.”

“Love you!” she said quickly.

“Love you, too.” I killed the call and stood for a moment, lightly tapping my chin with the end of my phone.

I loved Jax enough that it was impossible to just walk away, even for my own self-preservation. Jax loved me enough that walking away was the only end he’d consider. Maybe Denise was onto something. Maybe instead of pushing back all the time, I had to love him with everything I had. Really make him feel it, so he’d miss it when it was gone, enough to bring him back to me.

Problem with that, though, was that he’d screwed me businesswise. And I couldn’t let it go. That was a cut that ran deep.

* * *

Chad and Rick, the hotel manager, hit it off right away. I enjoyed listening to the two talk with their Southern drawls, charmed by both men and entertained to boot. But when Rick extended an invitation to dinner, I declined after Chad accepted, not wanting to cramp his style. I figured it was important for him to feel connected on his own, without me hovering all the time. I wasn’t his babysitter, and I didn’t want him to feel as if I didn’t trust him to handle his business on his own.

When I got back to my room, I called Lei.

“Gianna,” she said when she picked up, knowing it was me from the office’s caller ID. “How are things going in Atlanta?”

“Chad’s feeling good,” I said. “He’s been comfortable and relaxed, and really excited. The visit did what we’d hoped.”

Perceptive as she was, she asked, “And you? Are you feeling good, too?”

“Jackson followed me down here.” I didn’t share that personal detail with my boss, or dish like I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I would with Denise or one of my girlfriends. I told her because there was no way around a possible conflict of interest. I wasn’t going to let Jax jeopardize my job any further.

“Did he?” Her tone was thoughtful. “Well... How do you feel about that?”

“I’m not sure. No,” I amended, “that’s not true. I’m pissed off that he’s made an already complicated relationship more complicated by investing in Pembry Ventures. Not just that, but he called Isabelle directly to solidify her defecting. I can’t trust him, Lei.”

Every time I thought about what he’d done, I got angry all over again.

“That’s a fatal flaw.”

“I know it.” The thing was, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Jax had deliberately moved to put a wedge between us. But I couldn’t decide if that motivation made him less dangerous or more so. “I need you to tell me if I’m risking my job.”

“You know you are. I’m not going to fire you over who you date, Gianna. That’s your business. But if he happens to make another move that looks like he got a tip from you—whether it was done deliberately or not—I’ll have to let you go, because then we’re talking about my business. Got it?”

My stomach knotted. “Got it.”

“All right.” Her voice softened. “What’s on the agenda tomorrow?”

I told her. While I spoke calmly and steadily, I couldn’t shake the fear that had taken root. I’d planned my whole future around my job and I didn’t have a Plan B.

“Let me know what Chad thinks of the architect’s renderings when he sees them. And take care of yourself, Gianna. You’re not just an employee to me. I think you know that.”

I nodded, even though she couldn’t see me. “I do. Thanks, Lei.”

We hung up and I threw my phone on the bed. A headache was building and I loosened the clip that rolled my hair into a neat chignon at my nape. I really hated Jax at that moment. I didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions he’d been stirring up in me since he had walked back into my life. I kept shifting from wanting to heal whatever was wounding him to wanting to hurt him myself.

Ping. Incoming text.

When I saw Going crazy waiting 4 u from Jax, I let it all explode.

I called him. Everything that was wrong in my life was his fault and he needed to know that.

“Tell me you’re in the lobby,” he said in greeting, his voice husky.

I didn’t screw around. “I love my job. It’s the most important thing in my life, and I’m in danger of losing it because of you.”

It took him a second to switch gears. “Fuck. Gia—”

“If you love me at all, you’ll tell me right now if this is going to end with me jobless. You can get easy pussy, Jax. You don’t need mine.”

“Jesus.” He exhaled roughly. “I’ve done what business I intend to do with Ian Pembry.”

It was another non-answer. I was sick of them. He gave them for damn near everything.

I hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed. I started undressing, wanting to take a shower and scrub the day off.

My phone started ringing. Click. Time to shut that sucker down for the night.

I took my room phone off the hook, too, before he could start in on me that way. I’d come to Atlanta for some time away from Jax, and I needed it, despite how my body protested the idea of being denied him.

“I don’t need him to have an orgasm,” I scolded myself aloud. Of course that didn’t address what I really loved about sex with Jax—the man himself.

Twenty minutes later, my hair was wrapped up in a towel on my head and I was on the phone with room service. An impatient, angry rap on the door startled me enough to make me jump.

I knew who it was before Jax said, “Open the damned door, Gia.”

My jaw clenched. There was no way in hell the hotel had given out my room number. It irritated me to no end that Jax had the connections to circumvent the rules everyone else lived by.

I returned my attention to my call. “You know what? Make that a bottle of Ste. Michelle instead of a glass, please. Thank you.”

Jax knocked with even more impatience.

I hung up and glared at the door. “Fuck you,” I snapped.

“You’re acting like a child.” Even muffled through the door, his voice resonated with fury.

“Get a clue, Jax. I don’t want to see you.”

“That’s too damn bad. You can’t stay in there forever, Gia, but I can put a guard on your door who’ll make sure that when you come out, you come straight to me. It’s your choice how you want this to go.”

Narrow-eyed, I slapped the security bar back and yanked the door open. Jax immediately crowded me, forcing me back into the room. I caught barely a glimpse of a guy in a suit behind Jax’s big frame, then Jax kicked the door shut behind him.

I backed up quickly, my gaze darting down the length of his body. He was dressed in black slacks and a matching vest, his gray shirt and tie not softening the dark vibe. His hair looked as if he’d been running his fingers through it, the longer strands falling over his forehead in sexy disarray. His brown eyes were hot as they catalogued my appearance, his irritation evident in the scowl that furrowed his brow.

He’d said I was sexy as hell when I was mad at him and I understood what he meant when confronted by over six feet of angry, bristling masculinity. The angles of his gorgeous face were tight, his jaw rigid, the sensual curve of his lips firmed into an unyielding line. He looked dangerous and fiercely sexual.

“I’m getting real tired of you cutting things off,” he said, clenching his teeth.

“Boy do I know that feeling.”

He glanced at the ceiling as if he were praying for patience. “Is Yeung giving you a hard time?”

“No.” I crossed my arms, wishing I were wearing more than the hotel-provided robe, which was a thin shield for my nakedness underneath. “She’s actually been remarkably forgiving, all things considered.”

He watched me back carefully away. He filled the entryway of the room, blocking the exit, the closet, and the bathroom. The Mondego was a really nice hotel, beautifully decorated with understated elegance, but this suite was nowhere near as fabulous as the one Jax had taken me to in New Jersey. “My deal with Pembry has nothing to do with you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

His brows rose. “You don’t? Or Yeung doesn’t?”

“Me. I’m sure you had a few reasons why you did it, but I’m also pretty sure I was one of the reasons. And since it’s worked out so well and made me seriously consider how much of a liability you are, I can’t be sure you won’t pull something else that makes me hate you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to end things because you can’t.”

His face revealed no expression, but something in his eyes changed. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Because you’re afraid of me. Especially the way you feel about me.”

“Am I?”

“That, or your dad has you running scared. Which is it?”

“I’ve told you what he’s like,” Jax said softly.

That stopped my retreat. “I guess I have more faith in you than you have in yourself. I think you can take him on, Jax. I trust that you’d watch out for me.”

He laughed and it was a horrible, humorless sound. “You think I’d protect you from the big bad wolf?”

I stared at him, shocked, never having seen this bitter side of him. The next thing I knew, he had me in his powerful grip, his body curling into me and his face close to mine. He was impossibly beautiful. The most stunning man I’d ever seen. And he was seriously pissed.

“I am the big bad wolf, baby,” he growled. “You want to be with me? You want to be my girlfriend? You want to go to parties with me...events...have dinner with the family?”

“Yes!” I lifted onto my tiptoes. “I’m sick of being your booty call, Jax. You’ve got dozens of women for that. I deserve better!”

“Dozens? I’ve damn near been a monk since I met you! Two women, Gia. Two. And since you fucked two guys, you’ve got no room to talk. I’m entitled to those two, as pointless as they were.”

I gasped, horrified that he’d watched me close enough to know how many men I had slept with since we’d been apart.

“You want the whole deal?” he snapped. “Fine. Your life is about to change completely. Your privacy is a thing of the past. You’re going—”

“As if I had any privacy! My God, you’ve been stalking me for years. Are you—?”

“Gia, every questionable thing you’ve ever done is about to become tomorrow’s news. Your brothers’ lives are up for grabs, too. And that goes for your parents and friends, too. Go out in public and the photographers will follow. From how you vote to what you’re wearing, everything is fair game.”

I swallowed hard.

“You’re going to move in with me. You’ll be safe in my apartment, but I can’t say what your brothers will have to deal with. Or your sister-in-law. There’ll be security with you at all times. And I don’t want to hear about how inconvenient it is to constantly have someone with you, someone you’ll have to report your schedule to.”

“You can’t scare me,” I whispered, but it was a lie. My heart was pounding with anxiety. I had always been incredibly protective of my family. Whenever they were threatened, I came out swinging.

“Oh, I will,” he warned darkly. “You’ve had nothing but the best of me so far, but if you want it all, that’s what you’ll get. The good and the really fucking ugly.”

“Bring it on,” I challenged, getting angry again. He was deliberately being an ass.

“I travel a lot. You’re going to have some late nights that will bore you to tears, only to get up the next day to go to work. I’ll tell you what to wear, what to say, how to act. It’s what I do, Gia. Image is everything in politics and business, but you’ve already figured that out, haven’t you? You’ve laid a lot of the groundwork for me. Sometimes, I barely recognize you.”

I rebelled, yanking myself away from him. “Thank you, Jax,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “You’ve made the decision really easy for me.”

His mouth curled in a cruel smile. “Scared you off, did I?”

I was so frustrated with his crap, I wanted to scream. We’d never been nasty to each other. More than anything, I was desperate to put distance between us.

“I’d face all that and more for a guy who really loved me,” I told him coldly. “But I’m not putting up with this shit from a jerk.”

He looked ready to smash his clenched fist through the wall.

I waved toward the door. “Please leave, Jax. I don’t want to look at you right now.” Another lie. I would never get tired of looking at him. But I was tired of dealing with him. I’d wanted a break for a reason.

“I give it to you straight and you flip.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and cursed.

“No,” I corrected. “You wanted to scare me straight and you’re getting what you wanted. I’m settling for a fuck-only arrangement, but I’ll do so on my time, not yours. I’ll call you when I want you, so don’t bother calling me—I won’t answer. And stop popping up where I am. It’s creepy.”

“Damn it.” Jax stepped forward, reaching for me.

I backed up quickly. “Don’t touch me.”

His dark eyes bored into mine. “You might as well tell me to stop breathing. What the fuck do you want from me, Gia? I’m trying to give you what you’re asking for, and it’s still not enough.”

“Damn right! You set up all those pitfalls and didn’t leave me any way out. Why would I want to take the first step?”

“Living under a microscope is part of my life! I can’t change it.”

“You could’ve said something like, ‘Listen, Gia, sharing my life won’t be easy, but I love you. I’ll do the best I can to make sure our private life is worth the public hell.’ Or something like that!”

“Jesus.” He made a frustrated sound. “This isn’t a goddamned romance novel! I’m just a guy trying to give in to what you want so I can have you.”

As if. He knew what I wanted and he was fighting it all the way. “Well, now you can have your life and me—when I’m in the mood.” I held up a warning hand. “Not now. Believe me. I’ll call you when I get back to New York.”

“Fine. Whatever.” He pivoted and strode to the door, his back stiff and shoulders rigid.

There was still a part of me that wanted to cave, to drag him back and tell him to stay, to sleep with him and feel that incredible intimacy and sensual closeness I’d never felt with anyone else. But we had a lot of thinking to do and we needed time—and space—to do it.

Jax yanked the door open and stepped out to the hallway. I swallowed the words stuck in my throat and reached for my smartphone on the bed, using it as a distraction to avoid watching him leave.

I heard the door shut and closed my eyes, breathing out a shaky exhalation. We weren’t going to recover from this. This was going to change what we’d had. Forever.

“I...”

My lungs seized in surprise at the sound of Jax’s voice.

“I love you. Okay? I love you so much it’s driving me crazy.”

I reached for the desk chair, trying to support my weakened knees. I’d wanted to hear him say the words, but now that I had, they didn’t sink in. I didn’t realize how upset he was until his hands gripped my upper arms and he buried his face in my neck.

“I want you in my home,” he said softly. “I want to wake up to you, go to sleep holding you, to come home from work and eat dinner with you. I want what we had in Las Vegas, but things were different then. I had you all to myself. It’s not going to be that way now.”

I reached up with my right hand and set it over his left. “I get it. I can deal with it.”

“I hope so,” he murmured, turning me around. “Because I’m not going to be able to let you go after this, Gia. For better or worse, you’re mine.”

3

“IF YOU’RE STILL trying to scare me,” I whispered, overcome, “you’ll have to do better than that.”

Jax laughed softly, huskily. “I’m scared enough for both of us.”

He cupped my face, tilting it up to kiss me. The moment his firm lips touched mine, love pierced my heart, making it ache. I caught his waist, pushing up onto my tiptoes to deepen the kiss. Heat and hunger slid through me, provoked by the beloved smell of him...the feel of his warmth and hard body...the taste of him.

He groaned, drawing me closer. I’d been starved for him for so long that appeasing my craving seemed impossible. My tongue tangled with his, licking into his mouth, my mouth slanting across his with unabashed ravenousness.

“Come here.” He tugged at the tie of my robe, pushing it open and then down to where my elbows were bent.

I let him go only long enough to allow the sleeves to slide off so the robe dropped on the floor.

“God.” He pulled me into him, molding my naked body fully against him.

The buttons of his vest pressed into my skin, driving home the realization that he was clothed, dressed for work in a way I’d never seen when we were together in Vegas. Turning my head, I looked into the mirror on the wall and shivered at our reflection—Jax, so formal and dark, a dangerously sexy businessman; and me, naked and shameless.

“Look at us,” I whispered, watching as his gaze found us. Watching the lust tighten his face into primal masculine beauty.

His chin nuzzled against my temple, his eyes closing. “You’re so beautiful, baby. So goddamned hot you burn me up. I’m so afraid of fucking this up. Of looking at you one day and finding that you’ve lost that light in your eyes you have when you’re looking at me.”

“Jax.” He’d always made me feel as if no other woman had ever compared to me. But as thrilled as I was to finally have him, the pain he’d put me through still throbbed like an unhealed wound. “You hurt me,” I told him softly. “You broke my heart.”

His forehead touched mine. “I hurt us both. I wish I could say it won’t happen again, but I have no idea how this is going to play out or how you’ll take to living my life with me.”

“I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, too.” I started on the buttons of his vest, freeing them one by one. “We just have to love each other.”

He tilted his head and took my mouth again, kissing me with such tenderness my eyes stung. His hands slid up my torso, splaying under my breasts with his thumbs beneath the curves. The pads stroked the sensitive undersides, making my nipples harden. I whimpered, begging for a more carnal touch. The deep-seated ache in my core was painful, my sex already wet and ready.

It had always been that way with Jax, as if my body recognized his as the one it’d been built to take.

Jax exploded into motion, picking me up effortlessly and laying me on the bed. The towel wrapped around my hair loosened and fell off. He positioned himself over me, his hands planted at my sides. He ran the tip of his nose up my cleavage. “Tell me you have a condom.”

I bit my lip, regretting that I had to shake my head.

His eyes closed again and he took a deep breath. “I’ll keep my clothes on.”

“Jax...” There was a plea in my voice, because I couldn’t imagine not feeling him inside me. So hard and long and thick.

His head lifted and I shivered at the raging lust in his dark eyes, knowing exactly how it would feel to have it unleashed on me. “There’s no way I’d pull out,” he said, his voice guttural with desire. “No way.”

I opened my mouth to say it was okay...that I was on the pill...that I wanted to feel him come inside me without anything between us...but the doorbell rang, followed by a quick “Room service.”

I moaned.

A pained look crossed his face. Then he laughed softly. “Saved by the bell.”

“Wait—”

But he was already grabbing my robe off the floor and draping it over me. “Don’t move,” he ordered.

He got the door, barred the server from entering, and took care of everything in the hallway. When he reappeared, he was carrying the tray in one hand, deftly balancing the bottle of wine, wineglass, and a dome-covered meal.

Setting it all on the desk, he glanced at me as I sat up, my legs stretching out in front of me. “You’re killing me.”

“You deserve it.”

Jax’s mouth curved wryly. “I don’t doubt it. Still, there’s only so much a desperate man can take. I have to get out of here.”

I pouted. “Spoilsport.”

“Get your sexy ass back to New York, and I’ll give you all you can take.” He ran a hand through his hair, restoring order to it. “I’m going to start making the arrangements for your return.”

My brows rose. “You have to make arrangements to fuck me?”

“No, for you to move in. And I have to let you eat so you have the strength for everything I’ll do to you while fucking you.” He grabbed me as I pushed to my feet and gave me a quick, hard kiss. “And if you’re ready to go raw with me, we do it right—in our own apartment, in our own bed.”

I swallowed hard. “I have to talk to my brothers. My parents.”

“We’ll do it together.”

“You’re moving fast for a guy who just had his hand forced.”

A softness came over Jax’s face. “I’ve thought about this for a while. Tried to plan it in my head...come up with a way to make it work....”

“Maybe it won’t be as hard as you think.”

He brushed my damp hair back behind my ears. “The media is going to love you, Gia,” he murmured. “You’re a walking wet dream. You’ve got sex appeal, baby, and a body that won’t quit. They’re going to take a look at you and see me looking at you, and they’re going to imagine hot, salacious monkey sex. And that’s news.”

I shoved at him. “Be serious!”

“They’re going to get it wrong, and think I’m just having a good time with you. They’ll start speculating right away on how long it’ll last. They’ll pair us with other people, inventing news just to have an excuse to publish another picture of you.”

I’d seen it before, with other couples. But Jax and I were different. We weren’t celebrities. I was nobody, and even though he was a Rutledge, he worked behind the scenes of the political circles that had made his family so well-known.

“You don’t believe me.” He rubbed his temple against mine. “You’ll have to trust me. I’ve seen what can happen. I’ve seen the stress rip people apart.”

A niggling suspicion spurred me to ask, “Someone you cared about?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

Jax pulled back and I saw that he’d shut down. “She checked out,” he said tonelessly. “I’m not going to let that happen with you.”

My fingers flexed into his lean waist. It was hard thinking about Jax loving someone else. It was harder still thinking about his former lover hurting him so deeply that he’d pushed me away to avoid becoming vulnerable again.

He kissed my forehead. “When are you coming home?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

“All right. See if we can’t get together with your family that night. We’ll get you moved in the next day.”

I felt as if I was standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump, without any idea of where I might land. “You’re making my head spin.”

Backing up a step, he winked. “Just returning the favor, babe.”

* * *

“You’re miles away.”

The sound of Chad’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at him sitting in the seat next to me on the plane and offered an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Should I be worried?”

I shook my head. “It’s personal.”

His brows rose. “Good for me, maybe. Not so good for you it looks like. Wanna talk about it?”

I debated just how personal I wanted to get with Chad, then asked, “Have you ever lived with a girlfriend?”

“Not really. There were one or two who spent a lot of time at my house, which was convenient as far as sex went, but wasn’t great for privacy or hanging with the guys. I figure I’ll save that kind of commitment for marriage. Why do you ask?”

“I’m just thinking I agree with you about the commitment level.”

The amusement in his eyes faded. “Rutledge asked you to move in?”

“Something like that.” Told me was more like it, but...

He took a second. “I may have a problem with that.”

“Oh?” I twisted in my seat to face him more directly.

“You’ve known this guy a couple years, you said. But he only starts putting the heat on after you start working with me? He helps to break up my deal with Stacy, then follows that up with nabbing Isabelle. Now he’s wanting to share digs with you, the gal that’s got all my info and knows all my plans?”

Taking a deep breath, I processed what he’d said. “The day before yesterday, you seemed easier with it.”

“I’ve been doing some thinking.”

Okay. Crap. I felt like I’d been blindsided. “I don’t think it’s personal. In fact, I know it’s not. Jax always says business should never be personal.”

“It’s personal to me,” he shot back. That hit home. I’d said something similar to Jax when he’d thrown that line at me. “And it’s personal to Stacy. She’s not just going to want to succeed—she’ll want to be better than me. Have more than me. She’s going to want to prove that I made the wrong decision, and he’s on her side! Pembry’s got a lot riding on her. They’re going to want to keep her happy.”

He wasn’t wrong, damn it all.

“It works both ways,” I pointed out quietly. “I’m going to know what he’s into, too.”

I hadn’t really thought of my relationship with Jax that way before, as a situation that required tiptoeing around issues. Hadn’t wanted to. I wanted things with us to be real and straight and beautiful. But everyone I worked with wasn’t in sync with that hope, including Jax. Of course, Jax expected the hits to come from the outside, but no matter what, it seemed as though I needed to be a little more realistic about what being with Jax was going to entail.

You’re swimming with sharks....

Chad assessed me. “No offense, Gianna. But Rutledge might be out of your league.”

“Oh, he is for sure. That doesn’t mean I can’t handle him. That said—” I took a deep breath “—if you want someone else to spearhead your projects with Savor, I’d understand.”

His lips pursed. “I hate to say it, but that might be best.”

* * *

I’d planned on heading straight into work after landing at LaGuardia, but decided to stop at home first instead. My conversation with Chad had rattled me and I really felt as though I needed some time to pull myself together before going in to face Lei.

I slid open the large metal front door to the loft and found two of my brothers on the couch, playing a video game.

“Catch that one, dude,” Angelo snapped, jerking his controller to the right. “Come on! Fucker’s about to take me out.”

“Hang on.” Vincent surged to his feet, frantically hitting buttons. “I’ve got six of them on me.”

I paused on the threshold, feeling so grateful to be home. “Behind you!” I shouted to Angelo as a zombie lumbered up to his avatar.

Both guys jumped and two pairs of dark eyes swung toward me.

“You scared the shit out of me!” Vincent complained, hitting Pause on his split screen.

“Hey,” Angelo greeted me, returning his attention to his game. “How was Hotlanta?”

“Hot,” I said wryly, turning to pull the door closed behind me. The apartment smelled like bacon, and I could see the remnants of breakfast on the counter and sink. The guys were too used to having dishwashers take care of things at Rossi’s.

“You got the day off?” Vincent asked, strolling over. Dressed in shorts and nothing else, he reminded me why my high school friends had been so eager to come over to my house all the time.

“Nah. I gotta show up,” I said. “Just wanted to drop off my stuff.”

“Get your ass back over here,” Angelo muttered. “I’m getting slaughtered by these freaks.”

Vincent rolled his eyes. “Damn. I was hoping you’d take over the game, Gianna. You and Nico are the ones who like this shit.”

“Not right now. Hey, before I forget, thanks for putting me in touch with Deanna.”

“Sure.” He grinned. “Thanks for doing my laundry.”

I deliberately bumped his shoulder as I passed him on the way to my room. Our apartment was mostly one large massive space, but we’d put up some walls to block off bedrooms for a semblance of privacy. They were more like giant cubicles than actual rooms, but it worked for us while we were renovating the place.

It didn’t escape me that I was thinking about leaving a place where I was totally safe and secure to live with a lover who I hadn’t entirely trusted just forty-eight hours before.

I sank onto the edge of my bed and gripped my knees with damp palms. I was giving up a lot to be with Jax, and I couldn’t think of anything he was really risking to be with me in return.

My smartphone started ringing. Without looking, I dug into my purse and pulled it out. Seeing Jax’s name on the screen wasn’t a surprise. “Hello.”

“Hey, babe.” His voice was deep and low, intimate. “Glad you’re back.”

“Amazing how much everything can change over just a couple of days.”

“What’s wrong?”

It was wryly amusing that he knew me so well. Maybe Chad was right to be worried about me being an open book. “What isn’t wrong?

His tone turned brisk. “Be more specific.”

“Chad Williams has some understandable concerns about me, his project leader, sleeping with the enemy. Shacking up with you seems likely to be a deal breaker.”

“Who’s shacking up?” Angelo asked, scowling at me from my bedroom doorway. He was the shortest of my three brothers at an even six feet tall and he had the longest hair, the dark waves framing his handsome face and brushing his shoulders. A lot of hearts had broken when he’d married Denise.

“Fuck,” I muttered, wishing I could just hit a reset button and start the day over. “Get out!”

“I’m not in,” my brother argued. “You left the door open.”

“Well, close it!”

“Are you back together with that asshole?!”

I pushed to my feet. “Did I ask you?”

“Gia!” Jax barked through the phone.

“Hold on,” I told him, glaring at my brother. “I’m on the phone, Angelo. Close the door and mind your own business!”

“Is that Jax you’re talking to?” He barged into my room as if he had the right. “Let me talk to him.”

“Excuse me?”

“Gia! Damn it, talk to me,” Jax snapped.

“I’m a little busy right now,” I snapped back. “I’ll call you later.”

“Don’t you—”

I cut Jax off by hanging up, tossing my smartphone on the bed as Angelo made a grab for it. “Have you lost your mind?” I yelled at him.

“Rutledge certainly has if he thinks you’re moving in with him!”

Vincent’s interruption drew both of our attentions to the doorway. “What’s going on?”

“Get him out of here!” I told him, waving my hand at Angelo.

“Rutledge wants Gianna to move in with him,” Angelo said, facing Vincent and crossing his arms.

Vincent’s brows rose. “You got a ring?”

I threw up my hands. “I don’t believe this! It’s the twenty-first century. Did you know that?”

“The rules haven’t changed,” he said, crossing his arms, too. “He wants the milk, he’s got to buy the cow.”

My gaze narrowed. “Did you just call me a cow? And for your information, I’m not a virgin! I’ve had sex. More than once!”

Both Vincent and Angelo plugged their ears. Angelo hummed loudly.

“You’re both ridiculous!” I scolded them. “I’m an adult. I can do what I want.”

Vincent dropped his hands. “And you want to live with that guy? Really?”

“Maybe. It’s my decision.”

Angelo crossed his arms again. “You’ll break Dad’s heart.”

“Oh, my God.” I rubbed my temples, fighting a growing headache. “You’re going to pull a guilt trip on me now? For what it’s worth, Jax wanted to sit down with you all and talk this out.”

“So what?” Vincent scoffed. “We’re supposed to give him props?”

“I do,” Angelo said unexpectedly. “Takes balls to face a girl’s brothers and family and say you want to live with her.”

Vincent shook his head, his jaw hard. “If he wants you around that bad, he should put a ring on it.”

“Before she knows what she’s getting into?”

We all turned to find Jax standing in my bedroom doorway. He was dressed for work, looking dashing in a slate-gray suit, white shirt, and black tie. I realized he must’ve been on his way when he called me. Despite everything, I got a little thrill from that.

“The security in this place is nonexistent,” he pointed out tightly. “Jesus. I just walked right in!”

Vincent raised his fists. “I’ve got security for you, right here.”

I snatched up my phone and my purse, and headed out. If everything was going to implode at home as well as work, I figured I might as well go to work.

“Gia.” Jax caught my upper arm as I moved to pass him. “I’ve got this. Don’t stress.”

“Easy for you to say,” I told him, my chin lifting. “You don’t have anything on the line.”

His jaw tightened. “I love you. I’ve got everything on the line.”

4

LEI WAS ON the phone when I got to work, pacing in her office while talking into a headset. She waved in greeting and offered a quick smile, which only made me feel worse about my news.

Because she was busy, I went to my desk and started going through my voice mail, taking down messages for Lei and making notes to return calls that had come in for me. Usually being at work soothed me, but I was too edgy. My feet tapped restlessly beneath the table.

“Gianna.”

I looked toward Lei’s office and found her leaning against the doorjamb. She was dressed in crimson pants and a white silk shell, her black hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. She looked younger than her years, and delicate, but her dark eyes gave her away—Lei could be as delicate as a saber-toothed tiger.

“How’s Chad?” she asked.

Standing, I put my hands on the desk to anchor myself. “He’s very happy with the Mondego, and the plans, and the progress. He’s happy with the choices of David and Inez, too. But...he’s not so happy with me.”

“Oh?” Her eyes widened. “What happened?”

“Jackson Rutledge. More precisely, the fact that Jax has asked me to move in with him.”

“I see.” She straightened. “Why don’t we talk in my office?”

I followed her, feeling a bit like I was being called into the teacher’s office for a lecture.

Beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows of Lei’s expansive office, Manhattan was laid out for viewing pleasure and awe. Glittering spires with architecture designed to impress overshadowed buildings that were centuries old. Wooden water towers on matchstick stilts were everywhere, features of the cityscape as distinctive and beloved as any other landmark. Blue rooftop pools and green terrace gardens marked the apartments of the wealthy. Giant cranes reminded you that the city, already teeming with life, was still growing.

The metal-and-glass jungle was a gourmand’s paradise. New York was known for its fantastic food and its great chefs, and Lei was a driving force in the world I loved so much. It was a hard blow, feeling as though I was disappointing her.

“A week ago,” she began, “you hadn’t heard from the man in two years.”

“Lei, I’ll be honest. I’ve heard enough from everyone—including myself. I’ve never felt more pressure to stay away from something in my life. If only people were so helpful when I’m on a diet!”

She leaned against the front of her desk, her hands gripping the edge. She didn’t crack a smile at my poor attempt at humor. “Well, I moved in with Ian over time. It wasn’t planned. I just spent more and more nights with him until it seemed ridiculous to keep paying rent on my own place.”

Lei paused as if she was thinking of how best to say something I might not want to hear. Then she came right out with it. “Just be smarter about it than I was. Have some sort of legal agreement between you, so you’re not fighting over petty crap while your heart is breaking.”

My hands clenched. “You’re so sure it’s going to end badly.”

“I shouldn’t have to point out to you that it took ten years for Ian to backstab me. It took Jackson less than a week to pull a similar move on you. Come on, Gianna. You’re not naïve.”

“I learn from my mistakes,” I said, wishing my voice didn’t sound so defensive.

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t take the risk. Taking risks is what gets you the greater rewards. I’m just telling you to mitigate those risks. You’re talking about a merger here, but you’re not considering the most basic of precautions?”

Suddenly, I felt very foolish.

Lei saw that and gentled her voice. “Jackson has already cost you the Mondego project. Don’t let him take anything else from you.”

* * *

The rest of my day went on as usual, but I was miserable the whole time. I was seriously torn between saying goodbye to Jax and saying goodbye to the life I’d built without him in it. The easiest thing was to forget he’d come back at all, but after wishing for something for so long, it was excruciating to let it go now that it was in my grasp.

Shortly before three, my phone rang and I answered it with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

“Gianna,” Chad greeted me, sounding a bit breathless. “Can I talk to Lei?”

My eyes closed, knowing he was going to ask to work with someone else. I’d been hoping the delay between his return to New York and his call meant he’d changed his mind, or at least decided to wait it out a bit more before pulling the trigger. “Let me see if she’s free. Hang on.”

I got up and walked to the open door of her office. She was working on her computer, her brows drawn together in a frown above her crimson glasses. I knocked lightly.

She looked up at me. “Yes?”

“Chad Williams is on the line for you.”

She pulled her glasses off and nodded. “Put him through.”

I went back to my desk and routed the call, then tried to focus on something else besides the low murmur of Lei’s voice. It was all too easy to think about Jax instead, remembering the way he’d sounded when he last told me he loved me.

He’d consumed me from the moment I first laid eyes on him. I didn’t know how to give him up. I also didn’t know how to live with him. He wasn’t going to integrate into my life easily. I was going to have to change everything to accommodate him.

Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with someone simple and easygoing? Someone who brought a little fun into my life instead a whole slew of problems.

“Gianna.”

I looked up as Lei stepped out of her office, her lips pursed thoughtfully. “Yes?”

I steeled myself for the blow. When would I ever have the chance again to spearhead a project that had the magnitude of the Mondego deal?

“Chad just got through with a meeting with Jackson Rutledge,” she said.

My back stiffened and my stomach roiled. Crap. Was Jax screwing me over again? “Why?”

“Jackson offered to make a three-million-dollar investment in Chad, for a 30 percent share.”

My mouth fell open. “What?”

What did that mean? Was he trying to steal Chad? How could he, when Chad was under contract with Lei?

Lei frowned. “Basically, Jackson is offering to guarantee that he’s not going to sabotage Chad, to the tune of a few million dollars.”

I stared at her, trying to process that news.

She shrugged. “Chad’s going to have his lawyers look over the paperwork, but he’s sending it to me, too. Wants to make sure there’s no conflict.”

Nodding slowly, I glanced at my drawer, thinking about the smartphone sitting inside it.

“He didn’t say anything about wanting to work with anyone else,” she added. “There’s no reason to, if the offer is legit.”

“Right.” I said the word, but I was still trying to fully grasp the ramifications of what Jax had done.

“I take it you told Jax about Chad’s concerns?”

Pushing slowly to my feet, I nodded. “I didn’t know anything about this, though. I swear.”

“I can see that on your face.” She studied me for a moment longer. “Looks like Jackson’s clearing a path to you.”

“Yeah.” It was crazy. What was the catch?

It was just depressing having to ask myself that question. How could I love him more than anything when I was constantly second-guessing him?

My desk phone rang and I answered, grateful for the distraction from Lei’s examining gaze.

“Gia.” Jax’s voice sent me skidding into deeper turmoil. “We’re going to sit down with your family tonight after the restaurant closes. I’ve got a lot of work to do, so I’ll meet you there. A driver will be waiting for you after work and he’ll stay with you until it’s time to take you to the restaurant. He’ll take care of loading up the things you’ll bring to the penthouse to get you through ’til the weekend, when we can grab the rest. Let me—”

“Jax. Jesus. Will you slow down?” I slumped in my chair, feeling exhausted.

He was quiet for the length of a heartbeat. “It’s taken two long years to get here.”

“Yeah. Two years of nothing. Not a single word from you. And now, all of a sudden, you’re bulldozing your way through my life and I’m feeling wrecked. Wiped out. I can’t think. Can’t figure out anything.”

“What’s to figure out?” he shot back, sounding annoyed, which only irritated me further.

I sat up, but lowered my voice, hating to have such a personal conversation at work but unable to hold back. I’d been simmering for hours and was finally boiling over. “What took you so damned long! Why now? Why are you fighting for me now?”

“Because you’re finally fighting for me!” he snapped. “You were happy with the way things were in Vegas. You wanted that to go on, probably thought we’d do that for a year or two, see where things went. And that wasn’t going to happen, Gia. We were living on borrowed time. Too much longer and someone would’ve caught on, and started hounding and exploiting you while I was thousands of miles away. I let us go on too long as it was.”

“You could’ve talked to me about it!”

“What were you going to do? Leave UNLV? Move to Virginia with me? Were you ready for that then, when you’re not now? I don’t fucking think so.”

“You never gave me the chance!”

“Bullshit. You’ve had plenty of chances, Gia. I waited for you to decide what we had was worth fighting for. Not a day went by when I didn’t hope you’d call or just show up. You never even left me an angry voice mail. You called a few times, sent a few emails, then nothing. You gave up.”

“So it was some kind of test?” I snapped, incensed. “You broke my heart to test me?”

“Maybe. And don’t think it doesn’t piss me off that I had to come back to you to get you to finally say you wanted more.”

“You’re an asshole!”

“You’re goddamned right I am! I never claimed otherwise.”

My eyes stung with hot tears and that was the last straw for me. I was at work. I wasn’t going to break down at my desk, not when anyone could just walk by and see me crying. “I have to go.”

I hung up. Lei had gone back into her office at some point, thank God. I stood for a minute, shaking with anger and hurting. I couldn’t believe Jax was blaming me for the time we’d been apart.

Closing my eyes, I took deep breaths and forcibly put it all away. I locked up every emotion I felt and focused on the job at hand.

“Fuck you, Jax,” I whispered as I lowered into my chair.

Then I buried myself in work.

* * *

A black Mercedes waited for me at the curb after work. I knew it on sight because the driver who waited beside it had that coiled, dangerous look to him, despite the crispness of his black suit. His bearing screamed personal security and his eyes locked on me so fiercely, I felt it even through his mirrored shades.

Had Jax deliberately picked someone who’d intimidate me? Another scare tactic. Another test.

I’d been seeing a lot of new sides to Jackson Rutledge lately. Had I been in love with a mirage this whole time?

The driver gave a brisk nod in greeting and opened the back door. I slid inside and melted into the butter-soft leather seat. Closing my eyes, I longed for home. I wanted to sprawl across my bed and call my friend Lynn in Vegas. She’d been there when I first met Jax and through the weeks that followed. If anyone could help me put things into perspective, it was her.

The engine rumbled to life and the car pulled away from the curb. Knowing we were facing a slow drive due to rush-hour traffic in Manhattan, I went over the past several days in my head, gathering my thoughts so I would be at least partially coherent when I talked to Lynn. I didn’t get far before I realized we were descending into an underground parking lot. Opening my eyes and sitting up, I recognized Jax’s apartment complex.

“I thought I was going home,” I said to the driver.

“I was told to bring you here.”

I almost argued, but knew it wasn’t the guy’s fault. Jax was the one getting on my nerves. And if he wasn’t smart enough to let me settle down some before seeing him, he’d get what was coming to him.

One of the valets opened the door for me and I climbed out. The driver led me to the elevator, punched in the penthouse code, then left me to take the ride up myself.

The elevator doors slid open on the penthouse floor, revealing Jax waiting for me in the private foyer. The sight of him hit me hard.

He’d shucked his suit jacket at some point and unbuttoned his vest. His tie was loosened and the top button of his dress shirt was undone, exposing the golden column of his throat. He’d rolled up his sleeves, displaying powerful, veined forearms.

He was dressed like a businessman, yet exuded the potent virility of a man in his prime. Lust shimmered on the edges of my anger and frustration.

“Put your palm on the pad,” he ordered, jerking his chin toward the security panel beside his front door.

Clenching my teeth, I walked past him, my heels clicking across the marble. I slammed my hand against the glass and it beeped three times. “Gianna Rossi recognized and saved,” a computerized female voice said as the front door swung open.

I stalked into his apartment, tense and ready to fight. I heard him shut the door behind me.

I waited for him to say something, but he just passed me, his stride confident and sexy as hell. He carried himself like a man who liked to fuck and knew he did it well. That subtle sexual arrogance had always turned me on. Mad as I was, I still wasn’t immune.

Stopping at the metal-and-glass console in front of the wall of windows, he poured amber liquid from a crystal decanter into a squat tumbler. He took a drink, his back to me.

The silence stretched, weighting the room. I dropped my purse onto one of the black leather armchairs and crossed my arms, studying him, waiting for him. Still he stood there as if he was in the room alone.

Finally, I said, “I thought you had to work late.”

“I need to,” he said evenly.

“Then why are we here?”

He exhaled harshly. “What was it you said in Atlanta? Something about what we’ve got is worth dealing with all this crap.”

“Don’t act like I’ve got any say or control over what’s going here.” I crossed my arms. “You’re running your own show and I’m just getting dragged along for the ride.”

Jax faced me then. “I fix problems, Gia. You know that.”

“It’s not just that! It’s not just about Chad and my family. It’s always been this way with us. You say when and how and where and how long. I have no input. No control.”

His face tightened. He took a step toward me. “Is that what you think? Christ, Gia, you’ve got me by the balls!”

“If that’s true, that’s not what I want. I want us to be a team, Jax. I don’t want either of us to feel like we’re at the mercy of the other.”

He set his glass down on the coffee table as he passed it on his way toward me. “I’m completely at your mercy,” he said softly, his eyes so dark they appeared black. “All day I’ve been feeling like every step I take to get closer to you is only pushing you back. I can feel you pulling away from me...wanting distance. I can’t stand it.”

“And I’ve felt like I’m dealing with a stranger. I don’t know who you are when you’re like this. I can’t help wondering if I ever really knew you. And if I didn’t, who the hell am I in love with?”

“Baby.” He cupped my face in his hands and lowered his lips to mine. He brushed his mouth across mine, from one side to the other. Once, twice. Then his tongue licked across the seam, his breath warm and moist, his taste flavored by the liquor he’d been drinking.

I moaned and tilted my head, trying to deepen the kiss. One of his hands slid around to cup my nape, while the other moved downward to cup my hip. His touch was hot, sending goose bumps racing across my skin. He squeezed gently and my breasts swelled, growing heavy and tender.

Inhaling deeply, I breathed him in. Felt my body stir in response, recognizing Jax as the one thing it desperately wanted and couldn’t resist. I reached up and pushed my fingers into the thick silk of his dark hair, drawing him closer.

“You know me, Gia,” he whispered against my lips. “You love me.”

“Jax—” I pressed against him, leaning into all that hard, flexing muscle. “Have we made too many mistakes?”

“Probably.” His mouth moved along my jaw and down my throat, suckling softly. “But there’s something we’ve always gotten right.”

His arm wrapped around my waist and he rolled his hips, grinding the rigid length of his erection against my belly. My sex clenched, hungry for him.

“We can’t stay in bed all the time,” I pointed out, remembering the weekends in Vegas when we’d scarcely untangled ourselves from each other.

Jax scooped me up, cradling me as if I weighed nothing. “Two years apart and we’re still in love. It’s got to be easier when we’re together.”

“It’s not working that way so far.” Still, I kicked my shoes off.

He headed toward his bedroom. “Which is why I’m moving on to the part where I remind you why it’s all worth it.”

5

AN HOUR BEFORE, I would’ve said the chances of Jax getting laid were nonexistent. Right at that moment, however, with his gorgeous face taut with lust and his eyes soft with something far more tender, I wanted nothing more than to forget everything but the way he could make me feel. I wanted him to remind me of what we’d once had, what I’d clung so tightly to , what I hoped to have again.

He placed me on the bed and came over me, putting one knee on the comforter. He brushed a loose tendril of hair off my cheek, then his gaze drifted downward to where his other hand was gliding up my thigh and beneath the hem of my skirt.

“I want you naked,” I told him.

His mouth, that wickedly sexy mouth that could drive me insane, curved in a smug smile. “Do you, now?”

I stretched, knowing it would entice him. When he growled low in his throat, I returned a smug smile of my own.

Catching me behind the knee, he pushed my leg up and to the side, riding my skirt up and exposing my garters and matching panties.

He licked his lips. “Baby...I’m going to love watching you get ready for work every morning.”

It struck me then that we would be sharing everyday moments like that moving forward, and I wanted them. I wanted the man I’d had so briefly. “You’ve still got too many clothes on.”

Jax straightened and shrugged out of his vest, letting it drop to the floor. He yanked at the knot of his tie, then pulled the loosened silk down one side to fall to the carpet, as well. When he went to work on the buttons of his shirt, I pushed up onto my elbows to watch.

A low hum of pleasure escaped me.

Jax paused, his brow lifting. There was a gleam in his eye that made my legs shift restlessly. The man knew he was hot as hell, knew how much I liked looking at him.

“Don’t stop,” I told him.

“I love it when you look at me like that.” He freed another button.

I caught my lower lip between my teeth. He’d always been fit and leanly muscular, but he was harder now. More defined. Golden skin stretched over ridges and slabs of muscle. I wanted to run my fingertips over every inch of it...lick him like a favorite dessert...make him feel how much I loved him.

He shrugged off the shirt and I moved, rising up onto my knees to reach for him. He groaned when my hands smoothed over his shoulders then down his biceps, squeezing and caressing.

“How is it possible?” I wondered aloud. “You’re more delicious than you were before, and you were a god back then.”

“Baby.” He sealed his mouth over mine and stole my breath, his tongue licking and gliding.

Greedy, my hands ran all over his chest and abs, tracing every plane and groove. “You’re so hard,” I breathed, wanting to feel all that warm, silk-covered marble pressed against me.

“The sexual-frustration workout.” He caught me by the wrist and pressed my hand against his straining erection, grinding into my palm. “Pushing my body to exhaustion because I couldn’t have you, and the wet dreams were killing me.”

I cupped him, stroking from root to tip. “Not always frustrated,” I muttered, thinking of the women who’d had him, the women who’d had what was mine. “At least on two occasions.”

Fisting my ponytail, he pulled my head back to look up at him. “Always,” he said fiercely. “You’ve ruined me for other women, Gia.”

“Good.” I kissed his shoulder. “You’re still dressed.”

“You finish it.” He tugged the band out of my hair, his fingers sifting through it. My eyelids grew heavy, my senses drugged by the sexual hunger radiating off Jax. The feel of his fingertips kneading my scalp sent bliss radiating through me. Every word he spoke...every move he made...was designed to seduce me.

And it was working.

I fumbled with the hidden closure of his tailored slacks, pushing the halves aside to discover black boxer briefs. His cock was so hard and ready, the wide crown peeking above the waistband. Shiny with precum, it beckoned me, inciting me to push the underwear down below his hips.

A soft, needy sound filled the air between us. Jax was gorgeous everywhere. Gorgeous, big, and hard. Standing there with his slacks undone, his cock shamelessly exposed and mouthwateringly erect, his body ripped and powerful, he was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen.

I wanted him inside me.

He lowered the zipper of my skirt, then went to work on the buttons of my blouse. All the while, his lips were at my throat, his tongue gliding along my fluttering pulse.

“I’m going to lick you up,” he promised, his words a whisper of air against my damp skin.

I wrapped my hands around him, finding him hot and wet. He was so aroused he was dribbling precum in a steady stream. His virility was a potent aphrodisiac, making me as hot and wet as he was. My sex was slick with wanting, tightening hungrily, aching to be filled with the thick shaft I was stroking so lovingly.

Lifting my fingers to my mouth, I tasted him, feeling as if I became intoxicated by his rich, heady flavor.

He watched me, cursing softly. His hands tightened on the silk of my blouse and buttons popped off and rolled onto the floor.

“I wanted you naked,” he muttered, grabbing me by the waist and flipping me around, folding me facedown over the edge of the bed. “Next time.”

Shoving my loosened skirt up my hips, he exposed my ass. He cupped the back of my knee in his hand and pushed my leg up onto the bed, opening me. Then his hands were on the twin curves of my buttocks, squeezing them. His breath gusted hot and quick over my sensitive skin, his teeth scraping and gently biting.

“God, you were made for fucking,” he said gruffly. “You were built just to drive me out of my mind.”

One finger slid beneath the lace of my thong, running below it from the small of my back to the damp flesh between my legs. His knuckle brushed against my sex, and I quivered, gasping as a tremor shook my core.

The lace snapped in his grip, and I jolted, shocked by the sharp, quick tug against my skin and the harsh sound of the material rending. He blanketed me, his feverishly hot body covering my back, his hands pushing underneath me to cup my swollen breasts. His cock lay hot and thick between the cheeks of my ass, and he thrust, pushing the steely length between them.

The sensation of being overpowered, helpless, had me primed to come. A man so ragingly aroused he was tearing my clothes off had me spread for the taking. Jax’s desire was dizzying and irresistible. As much as I loved his body, he loved mine. Maybe more, which seemed impossible, but he always managed to make me feel that way.

“Don’t wait,” I begged, my hips rocking back against him.

“What do you want, baby?” he crooned, massaging the tight points of my nipples with clever fingers. “Tell me what you need.”

I was panting, writhing, teased by the feeling of his heavy sac resting against the wet lips of my sex. “Fuck me, Jax. Fuck me hard.”

He nuzzled against my temple. “You want this?”

With a shift of his hips, the broad head of his cock was notched into the clenching opening of my body. Pressure built as the crown pushed inside me, spreading me for the penetration of the hard shaft to follow.

I moaned and squeezed my eyes shut, trembling. He was everywhere. In every breath I sucked in...over every inch of my skin....

“Tight, baby,” he ground out between clenched teeth, withdrawing and pushing deeper. Slow, easy thrusts that worked him into me with every lunge. He groaned and gripped my desperately circling hips, holding me down as he fucked his way deeper. “Tight and creamy... Jesus, you feel amazing. I’m going to come so hard for you. I’m going to fill you up with it.”

My fingers clawed into the comforter. My eyes opened blindly, my lips parted to suck air into burning lungs. I fought against his hold, wanting him harder, faster. I caught movement in the corner of my eye and saw us reflected in the dressing mirror affixed to the inside of his walk-in closet door.

The clutch of my body tightened, trying to pull him in to where I needed him. Jax’s head turned to follow my gaze and he stilled, taking in the sight of him hunched over me, his slacks barely clinging to his upper thighs.

It was a lewd and decadent picture. Me, pinned and still fully clothed, my sex opened and penetrated by his massive cock; and Jax, firm buttocks tight with the force of a thrust, his biceps thick and flexing from the kneading of my breasts, his back glistening with a fine sheen of perspiration.

His mouth curved wickedly. “You like watching me fuck you.”

To prove it, he withdrew and thrust again, his entire body tightening as he sank farther into me. I whimpered. My sex sucked greedily at his cock; my nipples tightened painfully against his palms.

“Oh, yeah, you do,” he crooned in a darkly seductive voice. “I’m going to mirror the ceiling, Gia baby. You’re going to watch me worship this sexy body of yours every day and night. You’ll never forget why you’re putting up with the world outside our bed. It’s going to be seared into your brain. Every time you close your eyes, you’ll see me riding you until you can’t come any more.”

I climaxed. I couldn’t stop it. I cried out as the tension finally broke, pleasure arching my spine into a tight bow against his chest.

Jax growled and lost control, fucking me hard and fast, surging deep and erupting with a vicious curse. His teeth sank into my shoulder. He came inside me, chasing my orgasm with ragged groans, his body shaking violently with the force of his ejaculations.

It was too much. I couldn’t see, couldn’t think. My nails raked across the comforter, instinctively trying to pull me away from the flood of sensation, away from the spurting cock still plunging inside me, making me take more...feel more...when I couldn’t possible withstand it.

Jax kept me with him, trapped and possessed, a willing prisoner to the endless need between us.

* * *

Jax undressed me, washed his semen away with a warm washcloth, and arranged me on the bed. I was limp and breathless the whole time, and slightly irritated that he could move and think while I was a brainless mess of postorgasmic endorphins.

“You suck,” I told him when he finally sprawled on the bed beside me, gloriously naked.

He propped his head in his hand and grinned, his fingers running lightly down my cleavage to circle my navel. “Guess you missed the ten minutes it took for me to be able to stand up.”

“I’m taking you down for the count next time,” I grumbled.

“Mmm...” Leaning over me, he pressed his lips to mine. “I’m just happy there’s a next time. Lots of next times. You’ve got two years to make up for.”

My eyes narrowed. “I’m not taking the blame. You walked. Whether or not I followed, you’re the one who bailed.”

“So I have two years to make up for.” He slid over me, kneeing my thighs open and settling between them. “I better get started.”

Reaching up, I brushed his hair back from his forehead. He was even more breathtaking after sex, his face softened and seemingly younger, his eyes bright and his smile boyishly charming. He looked happy and it twisted my heart to think I’d made him that way without even really trying.

Turning his head, he pressed his lips to my palm. “I love you.”

“Jax.” My eyes stung. “I used to dream about you saying that to me.”

“I told you a lot,” he confessed, “while you were sleeping.”

That hurt worse than thinking he’d never felt that way about me at all. “Will I ever understand why you put us through hell?”

The light in his eyes dimmed. His smile faded. “I’m afraid you will.”

Tension gripped his big frame, and I regretted bringing it up. I wrapped my legs around his hips, hugging him close.

“Let’s agree not to bring anything but us into our bed,” he murmured, running his nose along my cheek. “I want us to have someplace where it’s just you and me, a place where we can remember why nothing else really matters but what we’ve got.”

I nodded, my hands stroking up and down his back. Burying my face in his throat, I breathed him in, letting the familiar and beloved scent of his skin ground me in the moment. “I’m game for that. But I’ll warn you right now that if you don’t start including me, we won’t make it as far as this bed to begin with.”

His mouth curved against my skin. “You drive a hard bargain, Miss Rossi.”

“You’re damn right.”

His back tightened beneath my hands. He started pushing inside me with a serrated groan.

“In all fairness,” he said gutturally, “I can, too.”

* * *

Drowning in one of Jax’s robes, I sipped a glass of wine and watched him slice cold cuts and cheese. His massive Sub-Zero refrigerator was bachelor barren.

“You ever live with a woman before?” I asked him.

“No.”

I nodded, admiring him in loose-fitting pajama pants. “Aren’t you worried it’ll feel like an invasion of your privacy?”

He glanced at me, his dark eyes piercing from beneath the locks of his disheveled hair. “No.”

“This place is pretty...sterile. You don’t think it might drive you a little nuts to see my shoes kicked off here and there, or my purse on the chair, or—”

“Your panties on the rug because I yanked them off to fuck you?” He straightened. “No, I’m not going to mind. You having second thoughts?”

I took another sip of the crisp Riesling before answering. “I’m just worried that you’re thinking about me so much that you’re not thinking about how this is going to affect you.”

He set the knife down and picked up his own glass. Dangerously casual with those assessing eyes. “What are you afraid of, Gia?”

I thought about the best way to say what was on my mind. “I know you’re worried about what we’re going to deal with outside this apartment. But I’m more sketchy about what’s going to happen right here. It’s all fun and games until you start feeling irritated by the day-to-day reality of living with someone.”

Jax leaned back against the counter, crossing his ankles and wrapping one arm around his chest. Holding his wineglass aloft, he looked relaxed and at ease, which wasn’t the case at all. He’d honed in on me, stripping me bare with that jaded gaze.

“Like the way you splash water everywhere when you’re washing your face?” he drawled. “How you leave dishes in the sink because you’re still pulling clean ones out of the dishwasher one at a time as you use them? How you’ve got phone charger cords stuck into outlets in every room, so you don’t have to go far to plug the damn thing in? How I’m going to be tripping over those shoes you kick off all over the place?”

I blinked. “Um...yeah.”

“Just because I like staring at your ass, babe, doesn’t mean I wasn’t paying attention to the rest of you while we were together in Vegas.” His mouth curved. “That said, if you’re really worried about pissing me off, we can establish terms for what you’ll do for me when it happens.”

Rolling my eyes, I muttered, “You’re such a guy.”

“You’re just now noticing that? Gia, your observation skills need some work.”

I had to fight to keep from smiling. “Are we going to eat or what?”

“Are you going to quit worrying?”

“After a while, I hope so.” I ran my fingers up and down the stem of my glass. “We’ve been together six weeks total over the course of our relationship. You wouldn’t be asking me to move in under normal circumstances—it’s too soon. You can tell me that it’s not a big deal to you and you’re ready, but I’m going to have to see it to believe it.”

“Fair enough.” He straightened. “Maybe, under ‘normal’ circumstances, we would’ve bounced back and forth between each other’s places for a few months, keeping up the pretense that we weren’t rushing things along, but we never would’ve spent a night apart. We don’t have that much self-control.”

“Maybe,” I conceded. “But you’re not a guy who likes having his hand forced.”

“I had options.” Setting his glass on the counter, he rounded the breakfast bar, approaching me with a slow, deliberate pace that made my toes curl. “I could’ve walked. I could’ve beefed up the security of your loft, or put you up someplace, or just let you fend for yourself.”

He stopped in front of me, tugging the belt of my robe loose and exposing me. He licked his lips, his eyelids becoming weighted with arousal. He set his hands over my knees, pushing my thighs apart. Cool air caressed my sex as his thumbs slid along the inside of my thighs. “I could’ve taken your offer to be the guy you call when you get lonely for this.”

I wrapped my legs around his hips and lured him closer. “Maybe I wouldn’t have called.”

“Would you be that cruel?” Jax untied the drawstring of his pants and freed his heavy cock. Fisting it, he primed himself for me.

I was riveted, entranced by the sight of his large hand stroking his thickly veined erection. “I would’ve held off as long as I could.”

“I would’ve sexted you, called you, hounded you.... No way I’d suffer alone.” His lips brushed across my forehead and he breathed, “Can you take me again?”

“You really are making up for lost time, aren’t you?”

“Can’t help what you do to me.” He ran the wide crown through the lips of my sex, nudging my clit. “The minute you showed up at that bar in Vegas, I was a dead man walking.”

My hands curled around the seat of the bar stool. “Liar. You were trolling. Half a dozen guys painting the town for a bachelor party. You were out to get laid no matter what.”

“I was,” he concurred, grinning. “So were you.”

“Picked up the hottest guy in the bar,” I said breathlessly, squirming as he teased me with languid strokes of the velvety head of his erection.

“I scored the hottest girl ever.” His tongue licked across my parted lips in a blatantly erotic tease. “You had me so worked up. Embarrassing as hell to be sporting a major hard-on for hours.”

“It was impossible to miss.” I smiled, remembering the rush. “You’re so big.”

“You want it?”

I nodded. “Wanted it then, too. Took you home with me, didn’t I? Figured I was too easy, but I couldn’t resist you.”

Jax notched himself into my wet cleft with a low groan. “I would’ve chased after you for days if that’s what it took. I couldn’t imagine not having you.”

Tightening my legs, I pulled him closer, shivering as he slid inexorably into me. I moaned his name, awed by the vulnerability I felt every time he took me.

“Gia. Baby.” He cupped my nape with one hand and gripped my hip with the other, holding me steady as he rolled his hips, urging slick tissues to let him sink deeper. “Feel that? I’m pushing into you but it feels like you’re sliding into me. Every fucking time, it’s like you’re slipping under my skin.”

“I want to.” My nails dug into his back, my fingers flexing. “I want to own you, Jackson.”

“Witch,” he bit out between clenched teeth, his jaw tight. “I thought I was going to take you to bed, bang the hell out of your insanely sexy body until sunrise, then head home with a smile. But you chewed me up and wrung me out. I couldn’t’ve crawled out of your bed if I’d wanted to and would’ve begged to stay if you’d tried to kick me out.”

“Ha! Tells me what a player you are.” I gasped as he filled me too full, a wild joy spreading through me. “I had no clue. You had me thinking you regularly medaled in marathon fucking.”

His gaze was soft on my flushed face. “I was a starving man, baby, living on junk food and scraps, and you were my first real home-cooked meal. I needed you, Gia, and I haven’t stopped.”

“I need you, too.” So much. Too much. Just being in the same room with him made me feel alive.

Cupping my ass, he lifted me and carried me to the couch. He spread me out, never leaving me, rising above me like a golden god.

“Don’t forget that,” he said hoarsely. Shaky fingertips brushed my hair away from my forehead. “When things get rough, don’t forget I need you.”

I saw the worry in his eyes, the worry he told me not to feel, and my heart twisted in my chest. Then he started moving inside me, riding me with strong smooth thrusts, and I let him sweep me away.

6

“THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG with your view, man,” Nico said, as he set a box of my stuff onto the breakfast bar and headed toward the windows. “Too much sky, and you can’t spy on your neighbors.”

“I’ve got all the view I need right here,” Jax shot back, catching me around the waist as I entered his apartment—our apartment—behind my brother.

“Gag,” Vincent muttered, walking through the open front door, carrying my suitcase and a duffel bag. “Where do you want this?”

“You can just put it down,” I told him, squirming as Jax nibbled at my neck. It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon, perfect for being out in the city. Moving didn’t qualify, but I wasn’t complaining. And neither was my family, which I considered a minor miracle.

Jackson Rutledge could sell sand in a desert. He never once said we were heading to a lifetime commitment, yet he’d managed to convey an earnest and passionate desire to be with me when we sat down with my family after Rossi’s closed on Thursday night. I think we both understood that my family heard wedding bells, but he didn’t seem pressured by that expectation. For my part, I was working hard not to get my hopes up.

Lei had wished me well at work on Friday when I told her what was happening, but she’d been notably subdued. That was hard for me, because I’d come to seek and depend on her approval.

“Looks like I arrived right on time.”

I felt Jax stiffen at the sound of his father’s voice. His hold on me loosened and he straightened, freeing me to turn around and face Parker Rutledge.

“I brought beer,” he said, holding up a twelve-pack. His smile was wide, his face startling in its resemblance to his son’s. He thrust his hand out to Vincent and introduced himself, then glanced at me. “There she is, the woman who’s got my son smiling nonstop lately. It’s good to see you again, Gianna.”

“Hello, Mr. Rutledge.”

“Parker, please.” He ripped open the top of the twelve-pack and handed a beer to Vincent, then stepped down into the living room to shake hands with Nico. “Saw the other Rossi downstairs in the lobby. Sounded like he was making a bet with the doorman.”

I shot a look at Jax and saw his face had hardened into an inscrutable mask, his attention on his father, watching as Parker passed a beer to my older brother.

“Let’s plan for all of us to get together sometime this coming week,” Parker said, taking in everyone with a sweeping glance. “Your parents, too, of course. And my wife, Regina.”

“The Rossis are as busy as we are,” Jax said tightly. “Possibly more so.”

“I’m sure they are. American entrepreneurship at its finest.” Parker set the case of beer down on the coffee table and pulled one out for himself. “But surely we can work something out. Family is family, after all.”

Nico’s dark, thoughtful gaze met mine. He shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

* * *

Jax holed up in his home office after everyone left, leaving me to put my stuff away wherever I wanted. We didn’t talk about it, but I was pretty sure he’d had different plans for our Saturday before his dad showed up. It tripped me out how Parker Rutledge blew into a room like a ray of sunshine and his son turned instantly arctic.

What was the story there? Why was it that every time his dad popped into our lives, it automatically put a wedge between us?

I was unpacked within an hour, leaving me hanging around an unfamiliar place with nothing to do. I debated watching TV, then decided to surf online for movie showtimes and dinner reservations. I was damned if Parker was going to ruin my first weekend living with Jax.

Dropping onto the couch, I propped my bare feet up on the coffee table and set my laptop on my knees. I’d scarcely typed in my password when Jax appeared.

“Hey,” I greeted him. My smile faded when I saw the tightness around his eyes and mouth. “Everything all right?”

“Sure. Why?”

“Your hair’s a sexy mess.” The dark locks were wild, as if he’d been shoving his hands into them to release inner tension, something I would have been happy to do for him.

Giving me a sheepish look, Jax ran a hand over his hair to smooth it. “I was just thinking—you up for one of those mind-numbingly boring affairs I warned you about?”

“I’m up for anything that puts you in a tuxedo.”

His mouth softened into a wry smile. “All right, then.”

I snapped my laptop closed and set it on the coffee table. “I’ll need to go shopping, though. When is it?”

“Tonight.”

My brows rose. “You couldn’t give me more warning?”

“Just found out about it,” he said grimly. “We can have a stylist come here with some choices for you.”

“Seriously? How important is this thing you’re asking me to?”

He leaned into the wall in what might have seemed like a casual pose if he wasn’t so edgy. I could almost see the agitation radiating from him. “I’m outing you as my girl. But before you get it into your head that I want you looking any particular way, let me tell you that I’d take you out just the way you are right now.”

Pushing to my feet, I glanced down at my basic white ribbed tank top and tan capris. “Shut up.”

“Baby, that killer body of yours makes everything sexy.” He crossed his arms, settling in. “I just don’t want you running all over town.”

“I can find something off the rack, unless you have a problem with that.”

“Takes all the fun out of it for me. We bring someone here, I get to watch you dress and undress. We hit the stores, they’ll kick me out of the dressing rooms.”

My lips twitched with a repressed smile. “Pervert.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“You do this sort of thing often?” I asked as casually as I could manage. It hadn’t escaped me that most guys wouldn’t have a stylist on call for their girlfriends.

“Get kicked out of dressing rooms? Not as a rule, no.”

I told myself to drop it. “Well, that’s a good thing. Anyway...I’ll just head out for a couple hours, let you work.”

“And stew all afternoon over whether or not I play dress-up with all the chicks I fuck?” he asked, straightening.

“I don’t want to talk about your sexual conquests.” I grabbed my purse off the armchair and looked around for my flats.

“You just want to be mad at me for stuff you’re making up in your head.”

I glared at him. “Don’t pick a fight with me just because you’ve got issues with your dad.”

“This has nothing to do with him.”

“Really? Because I get the impression damn near everything in your life has something to do with him.”

“Not you,” he said quietly. Dangerously. He closed the distance between us. “Stop changing the subject and spit it out, Gia.”

“It doesn’t matter, Jax. I knew you were a player when I met you. I’ll get over it.”

“I had my moments,” he agreed. “They never included giving a damn about how the women I nailed felt about anything, let alone the clothes they were wearing.”

My chin lifted. “Why are you always so quick to make yourself sound like a class A prick?”

He shrugged. “Just calling ’em like I see ’em.”

“No, you’re trying to paint a picture of yourself that has nothing to do with reality. You can’t keep telling me that I know you, while insisting that you’re really an asshole.” I dropped my purse back down. “It’s like you’re trying to convince you and me both that you’re something you’re not.”

“More like reminding us both of what I am,” he stopped in front of me, “what I’ve got inside me just waiting to come out.”

“I think your dad reminds you of that.”

“You’re fixated on my father.”

“Just calling ’em like I see ’em,” I shot back.

Jax stared down at me for a long minute, his body tense and the air between us strained. “What you’re not seeing is that he and I have a lot more in common than just our faces.”

“So, let’s talk about it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You just want to fight.”

He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, his biceps stretching the sleeve of his T-shirt. He growled. “What I want is to fuck you bowlegged.”

“Jax.” I laughed, I couldn’t help it. His frustration was palpable and his response to it was so typically...male. “You’re lucky I grew up with three brothers, you know. I’m used to chest thumping.”

“And driving me insane.”

“You’re doing that all by yourself, what with your self-confessed multiple personality disorder.” I touched a finger to my jaw. “Wait. I get it. You’re a twin. There’s two of you!”

Closing his eyes, he rubbed his temples with his fingertips. “Jesus.”

“If I sleep with both of you, does that count as cheating?”

His hands dropped and he looked at me. “Are you in love with both of them?”

I reached out and touched his chest. “I’m in love with you.”

With a sigh, Jax hugged me and pressed his lips to my shoulder. “Image is everything in politics. Sometimes, I’m asked to help others with theirs. That’s why I know a few stylists.”

I pushed my hands up beneath his shirt to touch his bare skin. His soft shiver and low moan sent my heartbeat skipping. “Good to know.”

I wanted to know more, but for the first time in our relationship we had time to let things grow and develop. I gave myself the right to enjoy that.

* * *

There were a handful of things in life that made me catch my breath in wonder—Jax in a tuxedo topped the list.

I watched him cross the ballroom with a champagne flute in each hand, his stride fiercely elegant and unmistakably sexual. The D.C. hotel was filled with men and women who were political and financial scions wielding tremendous power. Enormous crystal chandeliers cast light that glittered off priceless jewels and glossy, perfectly coiffed locks. Crystal glasses clinked against each other, and the hum of conversation sounded like a swarm of bees.

In the midst of it all, Jackson Rutledge stood out from the crowd.

His hair was nearly as dark as his tuxedo, his skin lightly tanned, his eyes framed by arrogantly slashed brows. The beautifully tailored tux hugged his broad shoulders and emphasized the length of his legs.

Discreetly, I licked my lips. Mine.

Jax would’ve caught my eye no matter what, but it was the look in his eyes that set my heart racing.

“I still love that dress,” he said, handing me a flute and bending to kiss my shoulder.

My lips curved against the mouth of the glass. The muted gold gown had been the first one I’d tried on and he’d voted for it on sight, shaking his head at the three dresses I had tried on after it. A smooth column of lined silk poured down my body, held in place by thin beaded straps at my shoulders and back. I’d been wary of the color at first, but the gown did a splendid job of hinting at my curves, instead of hugging them.

“Thank you.”

He turned to face the room, his hand coming to rest on my hip in a blatantly possessive display of ownership. “In a couple of hours we can fly back to New York. Or we can grab a room here in the hotel.”

“Or join the mile-high club. After all, what’s the point of taking a private jet if we don’t get naughty in it?”

His fingers flexed into my flesh. “And once again, I have an erection in public. Thank you very much.”

I laughed and leaned into him. “What do you need to do here?”

“Not sure.” He took a drink. “Once Parker shows up, I’ll have an idea.”

“He relies on you a lot, doesn’t he?”

Jax shrugged, but I saw the tightness around his mouth again. It was soon echoed by a corresponding tautness to his big frame, and when I followed his gaze, I saw why. Parker and Regina Rutledge had arrived. The two stood near the entrance to the ballroom, surrounded by those who wanted to rub shoulders with a Rutledge. There were several of them in attendance, but Parker was the wizard behind the curtain whom everyone wanted to see.

He looked over at Jax and me, smiling when he caught my eye and then glancing at Jax. A silent bit of communication passed between them.

“Gimme a second, babe,” Jax murmured, then he walked away, striding easily through a crowd that parted for him.

I watched him until he reached his father, studying both men for body language.

“Well, you cleaned up nicely,” a familiar voice said beside me.

Turning my head, I looked at Allison Rutledge, formerly Allison Kelsey. I raked her with a glance, noting the changes. I’d barely seen her the night I escorted Ian, so I took the opportunity. She was thinner than she had been in Vegas and she’d been slender then. Polished and perfect in a brittle way, she appeared to have hardened and grown more jaded. There was a world-weariness in her eyes that echoed what I occasionally saw in Jax.

But she was still as beautiful as ever, with dark hair cut into a sleek bob that framed delicate features and big blue eyes. Her aqua-hued gown was a lovely contrast to her porcelain skin.

“Hello, Allison,” I said, turning my attention back to the two darkly handsome Rutledge men across the room.

“That’s a beautiful dress.” She examined me. “Gretchen must be partial to it. She suggested it to me, as well, but it’s not my style.”

I took another sip of champagne to hide how I felt at the unexpected mention of the stylist’s name. So, Gretchen was an ace in the hole for the entire Rutledge family. Nice to know. “You might be surprised to hear that it wasn’t my first choice, either.”

Her smile was anything but friendly. “You’re smart to let Jackson dress you. But then you’re obviously smarter than I gave you credit for, or you wouldn’t be here.”

“Can you go be a bitch somewhere else?” I said, waving my hand carelessly. “This is my space and you need to see your way out of it.”

“If I remember correctly, you’re not a woman who likes pretense and bullshit, so I’m not shoveling any your way. We have to get along, after all. Might as well start now.”

“We don’t have to do anything.” My gaze flicked over to her. “I suggest we do our best to avoid one another.”

Her brows rose as if she were surprised, then she laughed, the sound as melodious as her voice. “That’s not how this works, Gianna. You and I are going to be best friends, as far as public knowledge goes. We’ll have lunch and shop together. Ted and I will have dinner with you and Jackson. We’ll go to ball games and exhibitions. All sorts of things where we’ll smile at the camera and look tighter than sisters.”

“You’ve had too much champagne.”

“I’ll let Jackson explain it to you.” Her eyes were suspiciously bright, which got my back up.

“Explain what?” Regina Rutledge asked, joining us.

“Ted’s upcoming mayoral bid. Jackson’s outdone himself this time.”

My hand tightened around the stem of my glass, alarm bells ringing.

Regina’s mouth curved, but her voice came cold and sharp. “I think you should leave Gianna to Jackson. He’s very protective.”

“I get the hint.” Allison looked at me. “I’ll plan for us to have dinner in the city soon. Enjoy yourself, Gianna. And again, you look stunning. That dress was made for you.”

She glided off and I rubbed my nose with my middle finger, discreetly flipping her off before dismissing her and looking away. Parker still had Jax at his side, his hand resting on his son’s shoulder as they spoke to a white-haired gentleman whose face was vaguely familiar.

“Don’t pay her any mind,” Regina said, stepping into my line of sight.

Her blond hair skimmed her shoulders in stylized waves that were reminiscent of the heydays of Hollywood starlets. “She’s jealous. She has a Rutledge, but...” She lifted one shoulder in a careless shrug. “Ted isn’t Jackson or Parker.”

I silently agreed with that. “It’s nice seeing you again,” I said instead.

Her mouth curved. “You and I are lucky women. Trust me, Jackson’s stamina won’t fade with time.”

My brows lifted. Even though Regina was nearer to my age than her husband’s, she was still Jax’s stepmother. It felt weird talking to her about sex with our men.

Jax appeared in front of me, taking my flute and passing it to Regina. His dark eyes hot on my face, he caught my hand and pulled me into him. “Dance with me.”

He led me onto the dance floor, his arms coming around me. “You’re the most beautiful woman here.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” It was heady being in Jax’s arms in public, nearly as heady as being held by him in private. “I have to say, though, that I’d rather not work with stylists who are also working with Allison. I don’t like her, Jax.”

His fingers stroked over my back. “She’s not one of my favorite people, either, but she’s married to Ted. She’s family.”

“I’m done with her treating me like I’m the scratching post for her claws.”

“She can be a raging bitch,” he agreed, “but she has those claws for a reason. You’ll need them, too, Gia.”

I treated him to a sulky stare. “I know you think I’m not strong enough to deal with your life, and I’m going to prove you wrong. That said, I am not going to go out of my way to spend time with people who give me grief.”

“So, the part about us acting as a team...that only applies to things you choose?”

“That’s not fair! I would never ask you to just suffer quietly while people insult you. I respect you more than that!”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “It’s not about respect, Gia. I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m going to talk to Allison about how she approaches you—that should be obvious. But whether we like her or not, we’ve all got to work together.”

“I don’t have to do anything for her.”

“Then do it for me,” he snapped. “This is my life. I was very clear about how unpleasant some parts of it may be for you.”

I was startled by his vehemence. “You don’t like this any more than I do. I know you don’t. You don’t want to be here, at this party. It’d be different if you were asking me to hang in there because of something that’s really important to you, but that’s not the case!”

“I made my bed, Gia,” he said tightly, his face hard and remote. “And you made the decision to lie in it with me.”

I shook my head, trying to reconcile the Jax in front of me with the one I’d first met. That Jax had been fun-loving, larger than life, a hedonist in many ways. “I don’t understand you. Life is short, Jax. Why spend time doing things that don’t make you happy?”

“Doing you makes me very happy.”

I shoved at his shoulder. “Be serious. This is important. I really need to know.”

He didn’t answer me for a minute, long enough for one song to end and another to begin. I felt a change move through him, the quickening of his breath and a tightening of his hold on me. “The time for me to make a different choice came and went a long time ago.”

“That’s a cop-out. You’re not even thirty. Your whole life is ahead of you and nothing is behind you that you can’t fix.”

Jax looked over my shoulder, his gaze distant and unfocused, as if he were seeing something I couldn’t. “Sometimes you can’t go back,” he muttered. “You just have to face the consequences and own your mistakes.”

“You don’t have to keep making new ones.” I cupped his cheek, returning his attention back to me. “We’re starting over, Jax. We’ve got a second chance to get it right. Let’s not waste energy on people and situations that just drag us down.”

He heaved out his breath, then pressed a quick hard kiss to my forehead. “Let’s get out of here.”

7

“YOU LOOK FANTASTIC,” my best friend, Lynn, said, checking me out. “I haven’t seen you look this good since Vegas.”

“Considering that was a couple years ago, I’m not feeling too hot about that compliment.” I was teasing her and she knew it, just as I knew I was looking pretty good lately.

Three weeks of living with Jax had led to me dropping about five pounds—the honeymoon diet without the honeymoon. Jax was insatiable and I was eating better because of it. There was a greater incentive to make smart food choices when you knew someone was going to be seeing you naked every day.

She laughed and glanced around Rossi’s. “This place looks great, too.”

Business at both Rossi’s locations was brisk, due in part to media mentions of Jax and me. Because I’d made an effort to avoid hearing anything about Jax while we were apart, I hadn’t realized just how often his name made the news. He’d said the gossip blogs and social media hounds would love me, but he hadn’t mentioned how much they loved him. The public wanted him in office. He was young, gorgeous, a Rutledge, and he had just enough ruthlessness to put him on the right side of edgy.

“The eye candy is delicious as always,” Lynn went on, her attention drifting to Vincent, who was working the bar.

He looked up, caught her eye, and winked.

“Be still my heart,” she said, tucking a stray lock of her red hair behind her ear and blowing him a kiss.

I groaned. “He’s got a big-enough head already.”

“Wouldn’t I like to find out?”

“Eww.” I rolled my eyes. I’d suggested we meet at Rossi’s because I wanted to relax without worrying about someone snapping a picture of me. I’d gotten used to having a bodyguard around all the time, but at Rossi’s I had the added eyes of my family watching out for invasions of my privacy.

She shot me a sympathetic look. “Is it really bad?”

“It’s not terrible. I’m not a celebrity or anything. But there always seems to be one or two photographers lurking around.”

“Stalker rat bastards.”

I shrugged, having accepted them as part of my life. Whenever I got irritated, I reminded myself that Jax had broken both our hearts to protect me from the attention. If I’d learned anything over the past three weeks, it was how happy being with Jax could make me. I couldn’t remember ever being happier. “I just have to be careful, that’s all.”

Twisting on her bar stool, she faced me, her long legs kicking playfully. Dressed in a long floral maxi and jean jacket, with a ton of bracelets and necklaces that she made—and sold—herself, she rocked bohemian elegance. “How is Jackson, anyway? I mean, on an ordinary day. He seems so...intense in interviews.”

“He is. But he can also be playful. And funny. He makes me laugh every day.”

She grinned. “Look at that smile on your face. Almost makes up for his conservative politics.”

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to get into a discussion about Lynn’s liberal views. I left that to my dad, who loved to talk to her about their similar stances on issues. “That’s not to say he can’t be stubborn, irrational, frustrating—”

“A man.”

“Yeah.”

“So...speaking of politics.”

“We weren’t,” I said firmly.

She gave me a toothy grin. “I was. You manage to get the tribe all together in one place yet?”

“Not yet.” My feet tapped on the brass foot rail. “Shooting for a brunch this Saturday. It’s the only time we could get everyone together.”

“God. You’re going to have to give me all the details. Wish I could listen in. That’s going to be a hell of a brunch.”

She wasn’t wrong. In most ways, the Rossis and Rutledges were two different breeds of family.

I took a bite of a crostini, then glanced at my smartphone as it buzzed on the bar. The text message from Jax made me smile. Bring home lasagna.

Lynn glanced at it, too. “Girl, don’t tell me the romance is over already.”

My phone vibrated again. I’ve got the gelato to lick off your body....

She laughed and I laughed with her.

“I need a boyfriend.” Her gaze slid over to where Vincent was shaking up a drink. “Or a booty call.”

I distracted her from my heartbreaker of a brother. “How’s work?”

“Busy.” She played with her long necklaces. “Internet sales are really picking up. If my rent and taxes keep going up, too, I may close the store and just focus on the online business.”

“Really? But you love that store!” I knew how hard Lynn had worked to open it, and how much she’d wanted to prove that her jewelry making and pottery weren’t just worthless hobbies.

She shrugged, but I could see it bothered her. “Wouldn’t be so bad to set my own hours and have more time to come up with new concepts. I could also travel to more conventions and shows, which might be better for me.”

I wanted to keep her thinking positively. “I could use more of your business cards. I wore your amethyst earrings to a party last week and got a ton of compliments on them.”

“Yeah?” She brightened. “That’s great. Thank you.”

I gestured for Vincent to refill our beers, while Lynn pulled some business cards out of her behemoth of a purse.

“How’s work going for you?” she asked when she handed them over.

“Good.”

“You still love it?”

“I do, yes.” I smiled at Vincent as he set two fresh, full glasses in front of us and took the others away.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

I shot my best friend a narrowed glance. She was too perceptive. “Nothing.”

“And your boss is totally okay with you and Jackson?” she prodded.

Sighing, I picked up another crostini. “We don’t talk about it. Which is okay, because she’s my boss and not my friend, but still....”

“You think she’s got a problem with it?”

“I’d say she’s taking it pretty well, considering I’m living with the guy who is doing business with the man who screwed her over. She still trusts me with sensitive information. But there’s...something between us that wasn’t there before.” And that bothered me. A lot.

“What are you going to do?”

“What can I do?” I chewed and swallowed, chasing the toast down with a swig of beer. “I figure she’s waiting to see how it all shakes out. After enough time passes, maybe she’ll feel better about the whole thing.”

Lynn wrinkled her nose. “Have you talked to Jackson?”

“Can’t. He’s a fixer. He’ll want to step in and smooth things over, and that might make things even more uncomfortable.”

“That’s probably the best endorsement you could’ve made for him in my eyes. Every gal wants their best friend to end up with a guy willing to slay their dragons.” She winked. “And lick gelato off them.”

Laughing, I turned my head and glanced around the packed restaurant. Walk-in patrons waited in the foyer by reception, while tables were turned with brisk efficiency thanks to my dad’s insistence on a robust service staff. Families mixed with couples and groups, while a popular television star enjoyed the illusion of anonymity at her favorite table. A camera flash caught my eye, luring my attention to what looked to be a birthday party. Above the din of conversation and the clattering of silverware, an Italian tenor sang about love and loss through the speaker system.

Contentment slid through me, as it always did when I was at Rossi’s.

“Did hell just freeze over?” Lynn asked, bringing my gaze back to her.

“Huh?”

She gestured with a jerk of her chin and I followed. Blinking, I took in the sight of my dad standing beside Ted Rutledge, who had his arm tossed across his shoulders. Ted was dressed in a suit and tie, while my father wore his usual white chef’s coat, black pants, and red Rossi’s apron. Giovanni Rossi remained a striking man, with a full head of salt and pepper hair, and a strong jaw. A photographer snapped their photo.

“Hard to tell from here,” she said. “Is that a campaign button on his shirt?”

I looked at my dad first, then at Ted. Sure enough, Ted had something pinned to his jacket.

“Second time he’s been in here this week,” Vincent said behind me.

When I looked at my brother, I saw the muscle ticcing in his jaw.

“I didn’t know anything about this,” I told him.

“Yeah?” His brown eyes were hard. “Can Jackson say that?”

* * *

Lynn took off around eight, but I decided to stay and wait until closing, so I could talk to my dad. I also decided to head back to the loft with Angelo and Vincent.

Because I didn’t want to get into it with Jax when I was tired and cranky, I sent a text letting him know I wasn’t coming home, and then dropped my phone back into my purse. I sipped at a glass of anisette decorated with a lemon twist. After seeing my dad with Ted, a liqueur was calming.

I felt Jax enter the restaurant before I saw him. I’d always been attuned to him, but it had gotten more intense since we started living together.

“Gia.” His hands slid possessively over my hips, his warmth radiating into my back.

I glanced at Vincent, who was scowling at us, and spoke over my shoulder to Jax. “What are you doing here?”

“Picking you up.” His arms encircled my waist. “You didn’t really think I was going to let you spend the night somewhere else?”

I finished my drink. “I didn’t realize I was a prisoner.”

He stiffened at my tone, then whispered, “If we’re going to fight, we’ll do it at home.”

“I don’t want to fight, which is why I wasn’t coming home.”

Jax stepped back. “Let’s go.”

“You’re not listening.”

Spinning me around in my seat, he bent over me. “You haven’t said anything yet worth listening to.”

“Excuse me?” I glared at him, trying to ignore how sexy he looked in a black V-neck sweater and loose-fitting jeans.

He set his hands on the bar on either side me, caging me in. “I’m not leaving you here to drink and stew over whatever’s got you pissed off, and I sure as hell am not sleeping alone.”

“Back off, Jackson,” Vincent ordered, coming up to us.

Jax’s head snapped up. “You’re her brother and you’re watching out for her, I respect that. But she’s my girl and I love her, and you need to respect that. Don’t stick your nose in our business.”

“She doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t have to go.”

“Don’t talk around me like I’m not here!” I said crossly, shooting both of them a warning look. “I don’t appreciate Rutledges coming in here and yanking my family and me around. You said you wanted to protect us from the public eye, not drag us out in front of it!”

I saw when Jax understood what had me riled. Then his face closed off and gave nothing away. “And you’re welcome to hash it out with me—at home.”

“It’s late and I have to work tomorrow. Plus, I want to talk to my dad about this Ted thing, whatever it is. Obviously I don’t know because no one saw fit to tell me.”

“I’ve talked to your dad about this,” he said, sounding so condescendingly reasonable he made my teeth grit. “And I don’t want to hear about it being late when you’re sitting here drinking.”

“News flash, Jackson: I’m old enough to drink a glass of liqueur. And anything else I feel like drinking.”

“Are you mature enough?”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

He reached down and grabbed my purse from the hook beneath the bar. “Getting drunk isn’t helping anybody.”

“I’m not getting drunk!”

“Good.” He gave me a tight smile. “Then you’ve got no reason to stay.”

“Jax—”

“We should both stop talking now.” He leaned down until we were at eye level. “There is no scenario where I walk out of here without you.”

“Gianna,” Vincent said. “You want me to deal with this?”

“I’ve got it.” I slid off the bar stool, suddenly very much in the mood to fight. At least if Jax was dealing with just me, it would be somewhat fair. If my brothers got into it with him, fists would start flying. “I’ll call you later.”

Jax jerked his chin at Vincent in a silent goodbye, then set his hand at my elbow to lead me out. He dismissed the bodyguard who’d been hovering by the entrance, then steered me into the cool night air toward a sleek, sexy car waiting in a no-parking zone.

I checked the vehicle out while Jax opened the passenger door for me. It wasn’t the kind of car a person rented. It was, however, the kind of car that suited Jax perfectly.

That impression was solidified when he got behind the wheel and the engine roared to life, then pulled away from the curb with crisp agility and a powerful purr.

Jax didn’t say anything further on the ride back to the penthouse, allowing the tension between us to thicken and grow hotter. He handled the expensive sports car with commanding ease, completely relaxed amid the chaos of Manhattan streets and aggressive, swerving cabbies.

It wasn’t until we got into the elevator at our apartment building that I broke the silence, unable to bear the weight of his stare. “What did you talk to my dad about?”

“Having Rossi’s featured as a thriving and expanding small business.”

“Featured in what?”

“Various materials.”

I crossed my arms. “Political materials?”

He arched one of his brows. “What else?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because we don’t talk about work—yours or mine.”

The elevator doors opened and he gestured me out ahead of him. I cleared us through the security system and entered the penthouse.

“I think we need to straighten something out.” I tossed my purse on the armchair. “My understanding is that your work is in finance.”

“And you work with Lei Yeung,” he countered, shutting the door behind us. “Doesn’t stop you from getting into your family business, does it?”

I rounded on him. “I would never have a conversation with your dad without telling you!”

“You can’t say that yet.” He pulled his sweater off, revealing the gorgeous chiseled bare torso I couldn’t help eyeing. “And why aren’t you equally pissed at your dad for not saying anything?”

He had a point, which irritated me. I hated how I suddenly felt like I was being irrational. “What are you doing?”

He headed for the hallway. “Getting ready for bed.”

“I’m too pissed to sleep with you!”

“Sweetheart,” he tossed over his shoulder, “I feel the same way.”

I kicked off my heels and went after him, following him into the bedroom. He toed off his shoes and shucked his jeans, magnificently naked in an instant.

He’d been commando beneath those jeans.

My brain scrambled for a minute, then I fought back by getting naked, too. “I don’t want my family being used.”

“I don’t want my girlfriend making assumptions about my motives.” Jax yanked the covers back and slid into bed.

“You’re the one who keeps telling me that your family can’t be trusted!”

He settled against the headboard. “But you didn’t get mad at my family, did you? You got mad at me. And instead of asking me about it, you decided to drink and close ranks.”

“I wouldn’t have to ask you about it if you told me in advance.” I headed into the bathroom. “But whatever. You’re always right, aren’t you, Jax?”

“Seems to me I’m always in the wrong,” he muttered after me.

I turned on the shower and scrubbed my makeup off while the water heated. When I stepped into the stall, I took my time, dragging out the shower as long as I could in the hopes that Jax would fall asleep and stop talking.

Closing my eyes, I stood beneath the spray. Jax was a man who cowed other dominant men with a single glance. He talked around others, refused to cede any ground whatsoever, and he was a painfully sharp strategist. I respected all those things about him. I was attracted to and aroused by his self-command. But I really hated how he could retreat behind that rigid control and put me on the outside; shutting me out and dealing with me like an opponent.

I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life being treated that way.

“Am I going to have to drag you out of there, too?” Jax said, opening the floating glass door and standing amid the steam that surged eagerly around his bared body.

“Go away,” I told him wearily, shutting off the taps. “I’m sleeping in the guest room tonight.”

His jaw tightened. His chest expanded on a deep, slow breath. “I...” He paused. “I’m sorry.”

Nodding, I pushed him back and stepped around him. “Thank you for that. I’m sorry, too. We both handled this badly.”

I shrugged into the terry-cloth robe hanging on a hook, then wrapped my hair up in a turban to wring it dry. “Goodnight, Jax.”

He followed me through the bedroom, grabbing me by the elbow when I approached the door to the hallway. “Don’t be like this. I said I’m sorry and I meant it.”

Stopping, I looked at him. “I know you did, and I meant it, too. But it doesn’t fix a fundamental problem we’re having with the way we communicate. We don’t talk about family. We don’t talk about work. We hang out together and fuck, which makes us more friends with benefits than anything, doesn’t it?”

He pulled me closer, stepping into me at the same time so that he was pressed up against me. “I love you, Gia. More than I’ve ever loved anything. You know that.”

I sighed. “And I love you enough that I couldn’t get over you, even after I thought you’d dumped me like trash. But that means you can hurt me real bad, Jax. I’m having a hard time living on the periphery of your life. And if being with you hurts worse than being without you, I’ve got to decide what’s the best thing for me to do.”

“You’re the center of my life.” His hands went to my shoulders. “There isn’t a moment that goes by when I’m not thinking about you.”

“That may be true, but you’ve got a unique ability to cut me off, and I’m not sure I can live with that.”

“You’re cutting me off now,” he accused. “You cut me off earlier tonight.”

“So once again, we’re both handling this badly. Maybe that’s a sign. Listen, I’ve got to get some sleep. We can talk about this tomorrow. Okay?”

He cupped my nape. “Sleep with me. I’ll keep my hands to myself if that’s what you want.”

I ached to do what he asked, but I also worried that we’d just be putting a Band-Aid on something that needed a lot more work. “I want to sleep in the guest room.”

I pulled away and left the room, feeling his eyes on my back as he stepped out into the hallway after me. Surprisingly, I fell asleep quickly, despite having damp hair and a painfully tight chest.

Sometime during the night, I felt Jax slip into the bed with me. I rolled to my side, hugged my pillow, and went back to sleep.

8

IT WAS A relief to arrive at work the next day.

I woke up next to a brooding and uncommunicative Jax. The rest of our shared morning had been thick with tension. On the walk to the subway, I texted my dad, asking him to call me when he could, then I scrolled through my email. Adrenaline surged through me when I saw Deanna’s name. I’d nearly forgotten about the favor I had asked of her. Once reminded, I couldn’t help but hope for news.

“Please have something for me,” I muttered to myself as I arrived at my station and hurried up the steps to reach the street. I was damned near desperate to have something—anything—that would give me insight into the man I loved.

Unfortunately, her email only read to call her, and I reached Deanna’s voice mail when I tried. I didn’t hear back from her before I reached Savor, where I had to silence my smartphone and tuck it away.

“Good morning,” I greeted Lei when she arrived.

“Good morning.” She tilted her head to the side. “Everything all right?”

I blinked, startled by the question. “Everything’s great.”

She hesitated, then said, “Come into my office.”

I followed her, taking a deep breath in preparation for whatever might be coming my way.

Lei bypassed her desk and settled into one of the gray club chairs in the seating area, looking younger with her hair hanging straight and loose, even with the wicked cool streak of silver. She waited until I took the matching chair before beginning. “Things have been...strained between us the last few weeks. I really regret that.”

The tension left my shoulders. “I do, too.”

“I’m concerned for you...and I have my reservations about Jackson...but really—” she swiveled her chair to face me directly “—the problem is with me. I’m projecting my own experience onto you.”

“You mean Ian.”

Her red mouth curved without humor. “It must be obvious that I loved him. He was my whole world. If you’d asked me then, I would have told you that he’d never betray me. That he didn’t have it in him. I would’ve told you he loved me too much to do anything like that.”

“What happened?” I had never broached the subject before, but now that she’d opened the door, I was dying to know what had helped shaped my boss into the woman she was today.

“We were working on a deal. The negotiations had been tough, but I had the advantage and Ian let me run with it.” A thoughtful wrinkle appeared on her otherwise smooth forehead. “Unfortunately, sometimes I get so focused on the hunt itself that I forget to pay attention to my prey.”

She looked out the windows at the Manhattan skyline. “I was too confident and I pushed for too much without giving enough in return. Worse, I made the man on the other side of the negotiating table feel insignificant and powerless. Somewhere along the way, he decided he’d do anything to put me in my place.”

“What place?”

“Behind Ian, instead of beside him. I think Bruce was insulted that Ian had him doing business with me. I don’t think he ever saw me as Ian’s partner, just Ian’s piece of ass, so that’s what he used against us.”

“How?”

“He kept setting up recurring meetings with me, telling me he needed clarification on different points or wanted to discuss alternatives. We met in the restaurants of the hotels he was staying in at the time, just as you and I did with the Williams twins at the Four Seasons. It wasn’t until later that I understood he’d been creating a paper trail to prove he and I had been having an affair.”

“Oh, Lei.” I felt a little of her remembered suffering; her tone of voice carried so much pain. “What did you do?”

“Nothing, and maybe that was the wrong choice. Ian is prone to jealousy, so he’s especially vulnerable in that regard. I refused to confirm or deny his accusations because I was so hurt that he’d given them any credence at all. I told him to figure it out for himself, and apparently I was tried and convicted.”

“Jeez. I’m sorry.”

She shrugged off my sympathy, but gave me a rueful smile. “It’s been over a long time now.”

I drummed my fingers on the armrests of my chair as I warred with myself about discussing Jax with someone who didn’t trust him. I valued Lei’s opinion, but it wasn’t objective when it came to Jackson Rutledge.

In the end, though, I told her because of her bias. I wanted an extreme, worst-case-scenario opinion.

Lei sat forward as I spoke, and by the time I finished, she’d set her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. “So he’s withholding information from you. People keep secrets for two main reasons—to protect themselves or to protect someone else. Do you have any thoughts about which direction Jackson is moving in?”

“I’m not sure. With everything else we’ve faced, I could see him trying to...shield me from something. But this... I can’t help feeling like he didn’t want me to know my family was being used to further a Rutledge agenda.”

“If that’s the case, it probably won’t be the last time. How do you feel about that?”

“Pissed. How can he say he loves me, and then do things that I have a problem with?”

“That’s a question you have to ask him. Sooner rather than later.”

Lei had just reaffirmed what I already knew, but it was still valuable to have my position confirmed.

Now I just had to prepare myself for what I’d do once I got the answer.

* * *

When my lunch break rolled around, I checked my smartphone and saw I’d missed a callback from Deanna. I headed to one of Savor’s conference rooms for privacy, passing LaConnie, who was arranging a new display of branded spices and seasonings on the shelf behind her reception desk.

She waved as I passed, and I complimented her on the kick-ass red pantsuit she was wearing.

I was smiling when I entered the same conference room where I’d taken Jax when he visited Savor. That memory helped alleviate some of the nervous anticipation I felt when I dialed Deanna’s number.

“Gianna,” she greeted me. “Glad we got past the game of phone tag.”

“Me, too. How are you?”

“Excellent. Hang on. Let me move somewhere more quiet.” A moment later, the background noise of multiple people talking at once disappeared. “So I looked into the Rutledges, focusing on Leslie Rutledge as you suggested. You’ve got great instincts—I hit a gold mine with that one.”

“Oh?” A shiver of unease slid down my spine.

“The family had her committed to a sanitarium for a few months. It was after she was released that she disappeared from public view. There were some rumors back then, nothing concrete, but now I’ve got a reliable source.”

My gut twisted. I started pacing.

“I can’t confirm what kind of mental illness she had,” Deanna went on, “but the real story here is that she was expendable. She had a problem and they packed her up, out of sight.”

“You don’t know that!” I thought of the photos of Leslie in Jax’s living room. He hadn’t forgotten her.

“Uh, yeah. I do. Just a minute.” The receiver was muffled, then, “Anyway. More details will emerge after the story breaks. They always do.”

I straightened, panicked. “What do you mean ‘after the story breaks’?”

“It’s news and about to be public knowledge.”

“That wasn’t the deal!”

“What deal?” Deanna shot back. “We didn’t have one beyond you paying me for my time, which I won’t be collecting on because this is going to pay off in other ways.”

“You can’t run this story!” I hissed, circling the conference table with angry strides.

“It’s already done, Gianna. Your name isn’t mentioned, so don’t worry about that. Listen, I’ve got to go. I just wanted to give you a head’s up and say thanks. Take care, all right?”

She hung up and my smartphone disconnected before I’d even lowered the phone from my ear.

* * *

I left the conference room in a rage, so pissed I could hardly see straight. I was as furious with myself as I was with Deanna. How could I not have foreseen the possibility that she’d use the information she found?

“Your man knows how to treat you right,” LaConnie said as I passed her again. “I just set another delivery on your desk.”

Cringing inwardly, I felt the weight of guilt on my shoulders. The sight of pure white lilies next to my phone damn near closed off my throat.

I plucked off the attached card.

I’m waving the white flag of surrender.

I love you, baby. We’ll talk tonight.

Jax had signed the card, but his signature blurred amid my anxious tears.

Worse than the violation of his privacy, I feared that such personal revelations about his mother would hurt him deeply. Her pictures in the living room of our home told me he had cared for her, but his reluctance to talk about her suggested the topic was painful.

And now the world would know about her, and I was directly to blame.

I touched a velvet-soft petal. “We’ve screwed up something perfect,” I said softly.

Sinking into my chair, I started to plan how best to tell him what I’d done.

* * *

I had a good handle on how I wanted to open the subject of Deanna’s story when the elevators on the penthouse floor opened and I stepped out into chaos.

I paused, shocked. The front door was open and through it I could see a dozen people in suits, pacing in my living room with smartphones pressed to their ears.

The queasiness I’d felt all day worsened until I thought I might be sick right there in the foyer.

When I crossed the threshold into the apartment, I looked for Jax. I couldn’t find him, but Parker was there in front of the entertainment center, his gaze on the photos of his late wife. He would have stood out from the melee on sheer presence, but unmoving amid the frenetic swarm of visitors, he riveted me.

He turned his head toward me. I watched as the recognition of my presence set in. He started toward me.

“What’s going on?” I asked, although I feared I already knew the answer.

“We’re trying to put out a fire. I’m sorry we’ve taken over, but Jackson prefers to handle some issues from his home office.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

His mouth, so like Jax’s, twisted wryly. “I could use a drink. Something strong, preferably.”

“Okay.” I looked around him to the console by the window where crystal decanters held the world’s finest liquors. I frowned when I saw only a vase of flowers atop it. “I’ll get you something.”

“Thanks. I’ll put your purse in your bedroom,” he offered, holding out his hand for it.

As he set off down the hallway, I maneuvered through the men and women wandering around the sunken living room. Bits and pieces of conversations washed over me.

“...confirm the source...”

“...should consider possible defamation and slander liabilities...”

“...a declaration of war against the Rutledge family isn’t wise...”

My hands were shaking when I opened the doors of the console. The crystal decanters were tucked neatly inside, but they were empty. I made my way back to the kitchen, where I discovered an empty wine fridge.

Confused, I faced Parker when he returned. “Looks like we’re out of everything.”

“I couldn’t find anything, either.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll call the concierge. Is there anything in particular you’d like?”

He touched my arm. “I’ll take care of it. Why don’t you hole up in your room and get out of this mess?”

“I feel like I should help somehow.”

“Just take care of my son,” he murmured. “Leave this to me.”

My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. I didn’t know what to say. I ended up nodding and heading down the hallway, passing my room and going to Jax’s home office instead. He was alone in there, standing in front of the window with his arms crossed as he barked at someone through a headset.

“We need those records. Yes, I understand that and I don’t give a shit.... Don’t think whatever this is won’t blow back on you, too. Right. I’ll be at this number.” He tapped the earpiece, then pivoted abruptly, stilling when he saw me standing in front of his desk. “Gia...”

He fell silent. Shoving a hand through his hair, he cursed softly. He looked worn and edgy. He’d ditched his jacket and tossed it over a chair in the corner. His vest was unbuttoned, as was the button at the throat of his shirt. His tie was loosened and the shadow of evening stubble on his tight jaw gave him a dangerous appeal.

“Hi,” I said quietly.

“Baby.” He sighed. “I’m sorry about this. Something’s come up and we’ve got to get a handle on it.”

“What is it?”

“We got a tip today about an article that’s supposedly going out tomorrow, and I’m trying to get details about the reporter and her piece.”

I swallowed hard. “Deanna Johnson.”

Jax froze. “You know her?”

“She used to date Vincent.”

“Fuck.” He scowled. “I need all of her contact info—email, mobile and home numbers, address.”

“All right.” I stepped closer. “Jax, we have to talk.”

“I know, and we will. But I can’t right now.”

“This is my fault.”

He came to me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “No. I should’ve talked to you about Ted and—”

His smartphone started ringing on his desk.

“I have to get this.” He tapped his earpiece. “Rutledge,” he answered briskly, then, “That’s a start. How quickly can you get them to me?”

He turned his back to me, and I clenched my fists. I left the room to fetch my smartphone to get the information he’d asked for. I was just going to have to blurt it out before he cut me off. I hated to blindside him like that, but he needed to know.

With my cell in hand, I headed back to his office and closed the door behind me. He was off the phone and sitting at his desk, reading something on his monitor.

“I have the information you wanted.” I walked up to him. “Deanna’s written an article about your mother. About how the family had her committed to an institution.”

His head snapped back as if I’d hit him physically. “You talked to her?”

I swallowed past the painful lump in my throat. “Weeks ago. And again this afternoon. I’m so sorry, Jax. I should never have contacted her. I had no idea...”

He stared at me, unblinking, his body so still I knew I’d knocked his legs right out from under him. “Sit down,” he ordered, with dangerous softness. “And tell me what the fuck you’re talking about.”

I practically fell into the seat in front of his desk, my knees shaking from the way he looked at me. His dark eyes were like a shark’s, hard and lifeless. “Remember when I said I was going to do some research and—”

“You went to a goddamned reporter?” He surged to his feet and slapped his palms down hard on his desktop. “Are you insane?”

“I contacted Deanna as a friend. Before you talked to me about never having privacy again!”

“Do you realize what you’ve done? How much damage this might cause? My mother’s disease was never supposed to become fodder for the fucking media!”

“Jax...” I stood, then flinched when he shoved away from his desk so violently he knocked his desk chair over. “I know this is terribly personal—and painful—but a lot of families are impacted by mental illness. People are going to understand and—”

“She wasn’t crazy, Gia,” he said coldly. “She was a drunk.”

The venom in his voice took me aback.

He faced the window. “She couldn’t handle the pressure.”

That single statement told me so much. My eyes burned as memories coalesced in my mind and were refracted back with a clarity I’d lacked before. “Alcoholism is an illness, Jax. You said it yourself.”

“She was weak.” His arms crossed. “She married the wrong man for what she wanted.”

“They loved each other. That’s what you told me before.”

He shrugged. “Parker is trying to change the world. She would’ve preferred him to just change the light bulb or a channel on the television.”

“She didn’t like politics?”

“She didn’t like the life that goes with them.” Jax faced me. “Agendas require allies and allies require compromises. She didn’t like some of the compromises that had to be made. Alcohol was liquid courage for her. She used it as a crutch.”

I deflated into my chair, overloaded by the emotional highs and lows I’d bounced between all day. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Jax and hold him, but I knew he’d never let me help. That stung.

“Jax... When you said someone you loved had been torn up by the stress, you were talking about her, weren’t you?”

He flinched, and I finally felt like I had a shot at understanding him. I certainly understood why he’d been such an ass about the drink I’d had at Rossi’s...and why there was suddenly no alcohol in the apartment. If he thought the situation with Ted and my dad was enough to drive me to drink, he’d worry about how future—more stressful—incidences would affect me. And I couldn’t forget that we’d met in a bar...

“She was a lot like you,” he said in a tone that wasn’t complimentary at all. “Her family...her expectations of what a relationship with my dad would be like. She thought that being politically aware and active was a choice, instead of a responsibility.”

I felt the need to defend Leslie Rutledge, a woman I would never meet but still sympathized with. It wasn’t easy living with the rules Jax set but didn’t always share. “If she was kept in the dark like me, I don’t blame her for not being on the same page with the rest of you.”

“My dad told her everything, that was his mistake. He wanted her approval, but all he did was alienate her. Sometimes the end justifies the means, and the means can be ugly.”

I took a shaky breath. “You’re so angry with her.”

“I have a right to be! She tried to make me choose between her vision and my father’s. No one should be forced into that position, least of all a teenager.” He rolled his shoulders back. “I can’t get into this with you now. I’ve got to do...something. Damage control. If that’s even possible.”

“What can I do?”

Closing his eyes, he bowed his head. The defeat in his posture broke my heart, but his next words cut me wide open. “You should go stay with your brothers tonight. And pack a couple days’ worth of clothes.”

Pain made me lash out in self-defense. “Did you cut your mom off like this, too? Is that how you deal with the people who love you when they inconvenience you?”

“For all of her faults,” he bit out between clenched teeth, “she never sabotaged us!”

“That’s not fair! I made a mistake, Jax, and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. But I made it because I love you, not because I wanted to hurt you.”

He opened his eyes. “This whole relationship has been a mistake.”

The flat finality in his voice sent ice coursing through my veins. “You know what, Jackson Rutledge? Fuck you.

9

“I GET WHY you did it,” Nico said, “but I’d be seriously pissed if a chick I was seeing sicced some investigator after me.”

My brother’s voice and the background sound of a busy evening at Rossi’s anchored my nerves.

“We’re not seeing each other,” I argued, staring at the half-packed suitcase waiting at my side, reminding me that things were in a precarious place with Jax and me. “We live together.”

“That’s worse. You have to ask a woman outside of your relationship for news about the guy you’re shacked up with? That’s some whack shit, Gianna. I’m gonna ask you again: is this really the way you want to be living?”

I scowled at him through the phone. “No, of course not.”

“Then get the fuck out of there and hook up with a decent guy who gives you what you want.”

“I tried that. It didn’t happen for me.”

He snorted. “Try harder.”

“Can you stop being so negative for a minute and help me find a way out of this mess? Why is it that guys are always trying to problem solve when we just want to vent? Then, when we do want solutions, they’ve got nothin’?”

“The solution to being with the wrong guy is to leave. There. Solved.”

I growled. “I’m thinking the problem is Deanna.”

“I never liked that bitch,” Nico said, startling me. He didn’t often speak in a derogatory way about women—our mother had raised my brothers to be gentlemen. “Vincent never liked her much either. He just put up with her because she was crazy in bed. Liked some kink and bondage.”

“Eww.” I shook my head. “TMI, Nico. Seriously. And it’s kinda uncool that you guys are sharing that level of detail with each other. Whatever happened to privacy?”

“Hey, I didn’t ask to see those photos she was sexting to him. Told him to take it into his room. Anyway, he should’ve warned you about her. She’d told him once that she started her career by sleeping with prominent married men, and then using pillow talk and extortion, if necessary, to get leads out of them.”

I stared at the closed bedroom door, frozen by a flash of an idea.

“So...” my brother went on, “should I head up there this weekend and help you move your stuff out?”

“Not yet.” I stood and walked to the bag where I kept my laptop. “Let me call you back.”

“If I can’t answer, I’ll call you back.”

With half my focus on something else, I still couldn’t miss how wonderful Nico was. I had a lot of blessings in my life, but my brothers definitely topped the list. “Ti amo, fratello.”

“Love you, too.”

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I grabbed my laptop out of its carrying case and sat on the bench at the foot of the bed. I surfed to the cloud and sent up a silent prayer asking for Vincent not to have changed his password since he’d given it to me once months ago.

He hadn’t.

I had a hard moment of indecision, weighing my options. Either way, someone I loved was going to get hurt.

In the end, the public nature of Deanna’s threat won out.

I got into Vincent’s account, clicked on the photo album that synced with his phone, and immediately wanted to scour my eyeballs. There were some things a girl just didn’t want to think about her brothers knowing. Or doing.

I downloaded all the racy photos of Deanna—wondering why Vincent had kept them after their breakup—and then I sent her a text telling her to call me ASAP for info she’d want to hear.

With shaking hands, I started unpacking. Jax didn’t believe I was strong enough to share his life and it was up to me to prove him wrong. I could do that. I would do that. And then he wouldn’t feel like he had to hide things from me because I couldn’t handle it.

I heard Jax’s voice outside the door, growing louder as he approached. “I get it, Dad, but I’m going after Gianna now—”

The door opened and Jax strode in, pausing midstep when he caught sight of me. Parker was fast on his heels, but he stopped when he saw me, his mouth closing before he said whatever he’d been about to say.

With a nod of acknowledgment, Parker caught the doorknob and pulled the door shut. Jax locked the door.

My smartphone started ringing. Deanna’s name appeared on the screen. Holding Jax’s gaze, I answered with a curt “Gianna Rossi.”

“What’s up?” Deanna asked, sounding distracted and impatient.

“Hello to you, too, Deanna.”

Jax’s gaze narrowed.

I took a deep breath, knowing I needed to pull off the bluff of my life. “I’ll make this quick—either you kill the Rutledge story or I post X-rated pictures of you on every revenge porn site known to man.”

Jax’s nostrils flared on a sharply indrawn breath.

“Bullshit,” Deanna hissed.

“Is it?” I asked. “You want to take that chance?”

“Those photos are private property!”

“You’re throwing privacy in my face?”

“Two totally different things, Gianna! The Rutledge family gave up any expectation of privacy when they decided to take a stab at controlling this country.”

“You’re taking it too far.”

“And you’re not? There are laws against revenge porn. You post those pictures, and it’ll come back on you and the Rutledges. You’ll be the enemy then.”

“There are laws against extortion, too,” I said tightly, “but that didn’t stop you. There are ways of finding out who you’re squeezing for information, just as there are ways to hide how those pictures of you make it online.”

My lies were spinning into a clusterfuck, but I couldn’t stop.

She sucked in her breath. “I don’t know what you think you’ve got on me—”

“I’ve got enough.” My hand fisted around my phone. “Kill the story, Deanna, or I kill your reputation—your choice.”

“I can’t pull the story! It’s too late.”

“That’s too bad for you.” I hung up.

Jax stared at me. “What are you doing?”

“Not sure. I’m winging it.” My phone rang again and I answered.

“How can you do this?” Deanna’s voice was laced with panic. “One woman to another, how can you?”

I couldn’t ask myself that same question, because I’d back off if I did. I had sent Jax suggestive pictures before. Nothing as extreme as Deanna’s, but still...I’d be mortified if any of them ever got out. “Give me another choice.”

“This isn’t your business! Jackson Rutledge is a big boy. Let him fight his own battles.”

“I would, if I weren’t responsible for this mess to begin with.”

Jax started toward me.

Deanna groaned. “You’re going to take me to the mat for a guy who won’t tell you jack about himself? Do you think he’d care if the situation were reversed? He’d distance himself so quick your head would spin. Don’t think he wouldn’t!”

She’d picked the wrong time to throw that scenario at me, because the look in Jax’s eyes at that moment was fierce with love. Right then, I was pretty sure he’d do anything for me.

“This conversation is over,” I told her, needing to end it before I wavered. Yes, she was an opportunistic bitch, but what I’d threatened to do didn’t put me on higher ground. “You know the deal.”

I hung up a split second before Jax grabbed me and crushed me so close I could hardly breathe.

“Jesus, Gia.” His lips pressed hard against my temple. “I wasn’t expecting you to— I didn’t want— Fuck.”

I hugged him back, holding on tight. He was right; I hadn’t fought for him the first time we broke up. I wasn’t going to make that mistake twice. “We’ll get through this. Right?”

There was a plea in my voice. I hated hearing it, but I had a knot in my stomach that wouldn’t quit. I had a horrible feeling that the worst was still ahead of us.

Jax leaned his head against me, his entire body heavy with weariness. “I’m sorry, baby. I was pissed off at everything and everyone except you, but you were the easy target. I was an ass.”

“I’m sorry, too. I don’t know what I was thinking when I asked her for help.”

“This life... It’s an adjustment. I’ll have to teach you how to deal with it.” His lips brushed my cheek. “I should’ve talked to you. When you needed answers, I should’ve been the one to give them to you.”

“Next time,” I said, praying for it to be that easy.

Eventually, we’d run out of mistakes to make. I had to believe that.

A sigh left me. What we’d had in Vegas...it’d seemed so clear. So true. Now everything was murky, clouded by our family ties. I grieved a little for the innocence our relationship had lost along the way.

But mourning what we’d lost didn’t stop me from appreciating what we still had. When I was in Jax’s arms, I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be. The only other thing that came close to giving me that feeling of homecoming was Rossi’s.

I knew what it felt like to lose it. Now I had to learn what it would take to keep it.

Pulling back, Jax looked at me, his hands gliding up and down my back. “I was coming after you. If you’d left, I would have been bringing you home now.”

I nuzzled into his touch, wanting to comfort him and wanting comfort in return. I could feel the strain in his body, the tension pulled tight and ready to snap. “I might’ve made you work for it.”

His hands lifted to my neck, his fingers kneading into the knotted muscles. I moaned, melting under his expert touch.

He lowered his head, and his voice came deep and low. “I’ll work for it now.”

Even though I saw the kiss coming, it still knocked me out. The seal of Jax’s mouth over mine was tight and greedy, laced with a wildness I hadn’t tasted since we’d been together in Vegas. His tongue stroked fast and hard into my mouth, licking deep with devastating sexuality. The message was clear before he spoke.

“I want you,” he said softly, tracing my lips with the tip of his tongue. “There are a dozen people on the other side of these walls and I don’t care. I can’t be quiet when I’m fucking you...they’ll hear me when I come inside you. They’ll see it on my face when I step outside. I couldn’t care less. If I’m not buried deep in you within the next ten minutes, I’m going to lose my mind.”

“Jax.” My phone started ringing. I switched it to silent mode and dropped it, not caring where it landed. Then I fisted Jax’s hair in my hands, holding him in place as I ate at his mouth.

I loved kissing him. The feel of his lips, so firm yet soft. The rough sounds of pleasure he made. How ravenous he was for me. He made me feel like he couldn’t live without me.

He caught one of my wrists and dragged my hand down to his erection, wrapping my fingers around him. He was hard as stone and deliciously thick. Then he pulled my hand up to his chest and pressed it flat over his pounding heart. “Gia...”

I lost it.

We tore at each other’s clothing, yanking off buttons and ripping through delicate threads. I was desperate to get at him, my lips and teeth catching every inch of golden skin that they could reach, my hands pulling and tugging at every scrap of material that got in my way.

In a distant part of my mind I heard my phone vibrating, but I didn’t care. Neither did Jax. With everything on fire around us, we focused only on each other.

He urged me back until I tumbled onto the bed, shrugging off his ruined shirt before following me down. His skin was hot to the touch, burning me even through my bra and slacks. Kissing me deeply, he cupped one of my breasts in his hand, kneading covetously before shoving the lace cup aside to touch my bare skin.

I gasped into his mouth, my nipple hardening against his palm. I fumbled with the hidden button of his tailored pants, growling when he settled on me and trapped my hands.

“You first,” he muttered. Clever fingers circled my nipple and rolled it, sending delight arrowing to my core.

The next moment, that mouth I adored was on my breast, wet heat surrounding my tender nipple. His tongue lashed at the hardened tip, his cheeks hollowing on a drawing pull. His hand was between my legs, rubbing my aching cleft through my slacks, teasing me by grinding the length of his erection against my thigh.

His scent and heat surrounded me, his hands and mouth moved all over me. I wanted some control, but he was too fast, sliding lower before I could catch him.

His gaze snared mine as he tugged my slacks and panties down my legs.

Sitting up, I pulled off my blouse and unhooked my bra. My phone was vibrating nonstop, setting a driving urgent pace. Jax rolled to his back and opened his fly, lifting his hips to shove his pants and boxer briefs out of the way. He came at me like that, too impatient to strip all the way.

I spread for him, lifted my arms to him, and cried out his name when he pinned my hips down and shoved half his cock inside me.

Lowering his head, he groaned in my ear. “Let me in, baby.”

Wriggling, panting, I pulled at him. My nails dug into the rigid muscles of his back, my calves tightened on his thighs. I grew wetter by the moment, turned on by the helpless way his hips swiveled, his body mindlessly seeking a deeper connection to mine. I could’ve used more foreplay, but I was quickly catching up, my sex clutching at him in rhythmic pulses.

“That’s it,” he gasped, pulling back an inch and thrusting again. “Take my cock.”

I moaned when he slid deeper, my hips fighting his hold, needing to arch upward.

Suddenly, he was gone, leaving me aching and empty. Then his mouth was there between my legs, licking, circling my clit, and fluttering over the throbbing bundle of nerves. My hands fisted in the sheets, my back arching. I went from not quite ready to orgasm so quickly the climax took me by surprise.

Heat spread over my skin like a fever. Shivers of pleasure wracked my body. I sucked in air, squirming away from the delicious torment of Jax’s talented tongue. He gripped my thighs in both hands, holding me down, making me take the rapid-fire shallow plunges. It was a wicked tease that left me desperate for the steely length of his cock.

The moment he moved to slide over me again, I wrapped my legs around him and twisted, taking him beneath me. He lay sprawled magnificently, golden and hot and wild-eyed. Sweat glistened on the hard ridges of his abdomen and heat burnished his cheekbones. His sinner’s mouth was wet from me and red from our kisses.

God, he was crazy sexy. And the way his hands gripped my hips as he pulled me over him made me insane with the need to ride him. To take what I needed. To own him.

I caught him in my hand and positioned him, holding his erection upright so I could slide over him. He was so damn hard, my mouth watered. I looked at the long, thick penis in my grip and licked my lips, wanting to taste him.

“Later,” he growled, lifting his hips to notch the wide head in place. Goose bumps swept over my skin at how hot he was. He was burning up, and taking me into the fire with him.

He yanked me down and I moaned, so wet and ready from the miracle of his mouth that I took him to the root in one easy glide. His neck arched, his back bowing upward from the bed with a pleasured hiss released from between clenched teeth.

“Gia.”

My throat burned. Knowing I gave him what he needed...seeing it level him...nothing else affected me the same way.

Jax jackknifed up in a ripple of honed muscle and buried his face in my throat. “I love you.”

“Jax...” I pushed my fingers into his hair, cupping the back of his head to hold him close.

“I want to take off with you,” he muttered. “Go away and tell everyone else to go to hell.”

I tightened around him. “For how long?”

His teeth sank gently into the skin of my throat. “Forever.”

“Okay.” I rose onto my knees, letting him slide from me. “Let’s go.”

The next moment I was on my back and Jax loomed, his mouth curving in a dangerously sexy smile. “Let’s finish what we’ve started first.”

“I don’t ever want to be finished,” I told him softly.

He cupped the sides of my face and held my gaze. He swallowed, and it seemed like he was going to speak. Then, he lowered his head and kissed me, telling me without words instead.

* * *

Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I watched Jax get dressed. He was quiet, his thoughts clearly taking him far from me.

“Jax.”

“Hmm?” He glanced at me and the blankness in his eyes slowly sharpened into full awareness. His fingers paused in the act of buttoning his shirt. “You okay?”

As rushed as he’d been to get inside me, once he had, he’d slowed way down. He’d made love to me. Slowly. Sweetly. As if he, too, wanted to remember how things used to be between us.

I turned the question back on him. “Are you?”

His chest lifted, then fell. “Yeah. I’ve got to take care of some things, but I know what needs to be done. You, however, are out of it. Okay? No more, Gia. I’m not going to let you—”

A shout from the living room interrupted him. The tone was angry and caught his attention and mine, until it became recognizable.

I stiffened. Anxiety set my heart racing. I slid from the bed to get dressed. “It’s my brother.”

A quick glance at the clock told me it was the busiest shift of the night for Rossi’s. My nerves frayed. There was no good reason why Vincent would abandon the restaurant to make the trip to Jax’s.

Jax shoved the tail of his shirt into his pants. “I’ll take care of it.”

“No. This is my problem.”

“The hell it is.” He slipped into his oxfords and strode toward the door. “You’ve dealt with enough today.”

“Jackson—” The latch clicked shut behind him, leaving me scrambling to make myself presentable.

Vincent shouted again, sounding angrier than before. To be quick, I pulled on a pair of yoga pants and a sports top. I made it out to the living room in time to see everyone clearing out. Jax stood by the couch rubbing his jaw, while Vincent stood on the last step leading down into the sunken living room, his hands clenched at his sides. He was dressed for work in a Rossi’s T-shirt, his handsome face set in harsh lines.

“Vincent.”

He rounded on me. “You wanna tell me why I’m getting crazy calls from Deanna at work?”

I crossed my arms, shielding my heart from the coldness in his gaze. In all of my life, none of my brothers had ever looked at me that way. “Did she tell you what she’s been up to?”

“She’s a reporter, Gianna. Writing news pieces is what she does.”

“Is that the bull she fed you? What she’s doing is wrong.”

“And you’re right?” he shot back, taking a step toward me, which had Jax stepping forward, too. Vincent’s head whipped toward him. “Back off, Rutledge. You put her up to this!”

Jax nodded grimly. “I did.”

My mouth fell open. “That’s a lie! He had nothing to do with it.”

“The fuck he didn’t!” my brother said curtly. “You would never have done something like this if it weren’t for him. How did you know about the pictures?”

There was no way I was bringing Nico into this. “I have the password for your cloud account.”

He stared at me as if he’d never seen me before. “And you used it? How long have you been invading my privacy?”

“Just tonight.”

“I don’t believe you.”

That cut me deep and hurt. Badly. “It’s true.”

“You could’ve called me. I could’ve tried talking to her. You didn’t have to—”

“It wouldn’t have worked,” I told him flatly. “I would never have threatened her if there’d been another choice.”

“So you went with abusing my trust and putting me in the middle without giving me a heads-up? You cut me out, Gianna, instead of coming to me for help. That’s not the way our family works and you know it.” He jerked his chin at Jax. “That’s the way he handles dirt, not you.”

“There wasn’t enough time, Vincent!” I argued, hating myself for the pain I saw on his face. Something precious had been destroyed and seeing the loss was breaking me into little pieces. “I was going to tell you.”

“Too late.” He faced Jax. “Congratulations, douchebag. You ruined the perfect girl.”

He stalked toward the door.

“Vincent. Wait!” I rushed after him, frantic to mend the first real rift I’d ever had with one of my brothers. I’d never been so scared. My heart was beating so fast I felt lightheaded.

Jax darted in front of me, grabbing me by the shoulders and holding me in place. “Let me deal with this.”

I opened my mouth to argue, then noted the spreading bruise on his jaw. Shock froze my feet in place. “He hit you?”

“Don’t leave,” he said, as if I hadn’t spoken, his attention going to the door when it slammed shut behind my brother. “Understand? Wait for me to come back.”

He went after Vincent.

And almost two weeks later, I found myself still waiting for him to come home.

10

“HE’S JUST BEING stubborn.” Angelo shook his head and took a long drink of his soda. “You know how Vincent gets.”

“He misses you,” Denise agreed, shoving a cluster of French fries into a pool of ketchup. “Try calling him again.”

“He hangs up as soon as he hears my voice.” I slid my chair closer to the table so that a woman could squeeze by behind me. The diner near my work was packed and we’d been lucky to snag seats.

“But thanks to caller ID,” Denise said, “he knows it’s you before he answers. He could just let it go to voice mail if he really didn’t want to talk.”

I picked at the bun of my hot dog, struggling with a lack of appetite. I’d been on the outs with Vincent for nearly two weeks, and the Rossis had finally decided enough was enough. My mother had called the day before, and Nico had followed up that night. Angelo and Denise hit me up at work to meet them for lunch. I half expected my dad to show up for dinner.

“Gianna.” Denise set her hand over mine. “Come by the loft and see him. Work this out. You’re both miserable.”

“Better yet,” Angelo caught my eye, “move back in. You shouldn’t be living alone in Jackson’s apartment.”

That was the only upside to fighting with Vincent: it’d given me a reason to stay in the penthouse even though Jax had been staying away.

“Is Jackson still calling you?” Denise asked, dunking more fries.

I nodded. “Every night.”

He’d tell me he missed me. He was working hard and didn’t want to bring it home. But he didn’t say more than that, leaving me in an odd place. Had we broken up and he just couldn’t say it? Was he calling just to see if I’d moved out so he could move back in?

That wouldn’t explain why he spoke to me like a lover who was away on business.

Angelo’s lips tightened. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but this is for the best, Gianna. He was changing you into something you’re not. It was never going to work out.”

At night, when I was lying in bed alone, my thoughts followed the same path to the same conclusion. Deanna’s story had never materialized, but whatever she’d said or done to get the story pulled at the last minute got her fired. I had a hard time living with that.

“I love him,” I said. “As much as you love Denise. You might be surprised what you’d do if someone was threatening to spread her personal business all over the place.”

“No, I wouldn’t be. I get that part of what you did. But Jackson’s world is different and you know it. It’s not the life for you,” Angelo insisted, looking for a moment like our father did when he was breaking hard news to us.

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon at work thinking about what I needed to do to get my personal life back on track. Professionally, things were rolling along smoothly. Chad was comfortable with me again and working well with Inez and David. The design of the launch restaurant had been decided and construction was well under way. Lei stayed on top of things, but didn’t smother me. I still went in to work grateful every day and I shared that gratitude with Jax. The wariness I’d once felt about discussing my work with him was gone. I trusted him to want good things for me.

It was weird in a way. The mess with Deanna had made some parts of our relationship feel stronger than ever and yet we were apart again. I couldn’t figure that out.

I headed to Rossi’s after work. My family was right; it was time to fix things with Vincent.

He was working happy hour at the bar when I came in, but he spotted me straight away, scowling for a moment before returning his attention to the drink he was mixing. His serving style wasn’t the same as Nico’s. He didn’t flirt shamelessly, but he got the same number of girls following him with their eyes everywhere he went. The dark and broody thing worked for him.

I snagged an empty barstool and watched him work. There were a few contenders trying their hand at capturing his attention, but he was eyeing me, I knew, even though he didn’t spare me another glance. The same couldn’t be said about our parents, who couldn’t stop looking our way every few minutes.

When Vincent neared to serve a beer to the guy sitting on my right, I broke the ice and said, “I’m sorry.”

He sucked in a deep breath and straightened his spine. Then he grabbed the five spot tip off the bar, rapped his knuckles on the polished wood in thanks, and dropped the cash in the tip jar. “I’m taking ten,” he told Jen, the gal working the bar with him.

“Got it,” she said, giving me a smile.

Vincent met me on the other side. “Office,” he said, gesturing me ahead of him with an impatient wave of his hand.

It was impossible not to be reminded of Jax when I entered the back office, but I pushed the memory from my mind and faced my brother.

I got to the point. “I need you to forgive me.”

He crossed his arms. “I did that a while ago.”

“You did?” I blinked through the rush of relief that had me leaning heavily against our dad’s desk. “Then why won’t you talk to me?”

“To punish you. Plus, I don’t want to hear any excuses about what you did. If being with Jax means losing who you are, you need to get out.”

“He didn’t have anything to do with how I handled Deanna. I don’t know why he told you that.”

“Because he knows he did.” Vincent held up a hand to cut me off. “I’m walking out of here if you don’t understand this real quick: you dealt with the situation like a Rutledge, not a Rossi, and you learned how to be like that from him.”

I let that sink in. Then I took a second to glance at the family portrait on the wall, before finally nodding my agreement. “You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.” He ran a hand over the top of his head, then made a sudden grab for me, enfolding me in a hug.

I started bawling. I hadn’t expected it, hadn’t even known it was bottled up in me until I was wrapped in love and safety again.

Vincent cursed and gripped me tighter. I knew he hated tears and had a hard time dealing with crying women, but I couldn’t stop and it felt so good to let go.

“Cut it out,” he muttered, with his lips at the crown of my head.

“I missed you,” I sobbed.

“For fuck’s sake. I was right here.”

“I miss Jax, too. He’s been gone for days.”

His chest heaved with a sigh beneath my cheek. “I know.”

I pulled back, my breathing reduced to stuttered inhalations. “I d-don’t know what to do.”

Vincent’s jaw tightened. “Stop crying for one thing. Then stop worrying about Jax. He’s getting his shit together.”

“What? What does that mean? How do you know that?”

He stepped back. “He told me.”

I frowned and wiped at my cheeks. “Why would he tell you that and not me?”

“Because I’m probably one of the few people who won’t try and talk him out of it.”

“Can you speak English, please?”

He snorted. “I’m not smoothing the way for him, Gianna. It’s his deal, and however it goes, it’ll be up to him to lay it out for you.”

“You’re irritating me, Vincent.”

“Good. You deserve it.” He tossed an arm around my shoulder. “I’ve got to get back to the bar. I’ll make you a drink.”

“I wish you’d make sense instead,” I complained, bumping into him so he stumbled a step.

“Watch it.”

We returned to the restaurant and my steps slowed. I recognized the head of pure white hair from across the crowded room. As if he felt me staring, Parker Rutledge turned and found me. When he visibly relaxed, I knew he’d come to seek me out.

I couldn’t help but be worried. Was something wrong with Jax?

“Holler if you need me,” Vincent said, squeezing my shoulder before returning to the bar.

I watched Parker approach and hoped my eyeliner and mascara hadn’t smeared. I ran my hands over my skirt, wishing I’d taken a minute to freshen up in the ladies’ room. Jax’s dad was dressed in a sharp black suit and pale blue tie, and he looked ready to conquer the world. I was afraid I looked defeated.

“Gianna.” He pulled me into a brief hug. “I’ve been hoping to speak with you.”

“Is everything all right?”

“I’m afraid not. Can we talk?”

“Sure.” Because he looked and sounded so serious, I asked, “Would it be better to go to the penthouse?”

His lips twisted ruefully. “Jackson gave me strict orders not to bother you at work or home, although I confess I was about to anyway if you hadn’t come to Rossi’s tonight.”

I glanced over at the bodyguard who went everywhere with me. Had he tipped off Parker? Not that I cared either way.

I caught my mother’s eye and gestured at an empty table, letting her know I was taking it. She nodded and crossed it off the seating chart.

“I have to talk to you about Jackson,” Parker began the minute he settled into the chair. “He’s making a terrible mistake.”

My hands flattened on the table. “How?”

“He can’t just walk away. The game is in his blood. But more than that, he has a responsibility to this country. He has what it takes to shape the world in profound and necessary ways.”

Clearly, Parker thought I was up to speed on what Jax was doing, and I figured it might be better not to tell him I was clueless. So I puzzled it out as best I could and tried not to get too excited about the possibility that Jax was thinking about stepping away from the family business. So to speak. “I’m sure he’s doing everything he can.”

“He can’t say that until he runs for office.”

“Oh.” I’d never even considered that possibility. A game changer. The little spark of hope I felt quickly died. “I didn’t realize he wanted a career in politics.”

He leaned forward. “Jackson told me how you handled that reporter. You’re an asset, Gianna. You’re what he needs to reach the next level. With you at his side, he could make it all the way to the White House.”

The very idea scrambled my brain. “The White... Are you kidding?”

He sat back. “Don’t you believe he could do it?”

I stared at him, blown away by the grandeur of his dreams for his son. “Jackson can do anything he wants. He’s amazing.”

“Agreed.”

“As long as I’m part of his life, I’ll support him in whatever he chooses to do.” I took a deep breath. “But...”

He studied me. “But what?”

There was no easy way to say it. “Do you know that he blames the stress of a public, political life for his mother’s alcoholism?”

Parker straightened abruptly, his shoulders rolling back. “He’s stronger than she was.”

I couldn’t disagree with that. “I think he’s more worried about me.”

“I know,” he agreed, with an emphatic nod. “That’s why you have to speak to him. Tell him you can handle it. Make him believe it.”

My gaze moved to the bar and met Vincent’s. His earlier words about being one of only a few people who wouldn’t talk Jax out of “it” abruptly made sense. “Do you know where he is?”

“D.C. I can get you there.”

I looked at him. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

* * *

I’d expected to end up at the Rutledge mansion, but found myself knocking on the door to a high-rise apartment instead. Not too long ago, I would never have thought I’d be used to flying by private jet, but my life was different now. I was adjusting as quickly as I could. Still, one thing I had never learned to deal with was living without—

“Jax,” I said, when the door opened and he stood in front of me. My heart gave a little leap. He looked edible. The bespoke three-piece suit he wore didn’t soften the edge created by the shadow of stubble on his jaw and the slightly too-long hair. His gorgeous face was leaner, his gaze intensely focused.

He didn’t say a word, just grabbed me and kissed me as if he’d been dying of thirst and I was a cool glass of water. I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my mouth, letting him lick and thrust, whimpering as he ate at my mouth with erotic ferocity.

The nervousness I’d felt on the flight dissipated into oblivion. Whatever he was doing by staying away from me wasn’t because he didn’t want me anymore.

He pulled me into the house and kicked the door shut, pinning me against it. “I’ve got to take a call in a minute,” he muttered against my lips. “Then I’m going to fuck you for a really long time.”

I hit him on the shoulder. “What the hell are you doing in D.C.?”

“You know. That’s why you’re here.” He released me and backed away. “Did Parker send you?”

“He provided the means. I came because I wanted to.”

“He’ll get the hint eventually.” He turned away from me and pointed at a set of double doors to the left. “Bedroom’s in there. Get naked and wait for me.”

I bit back a smile at his arrogance, knowing he was baiting me on purpose. “Dream on.”

He glanced my way when he reached a desk set up in the living room. The apartment was considerably smaller than the penthouse in New York and barely furnished. There was a sofa and coffee table, but no television or artwork. Only the desk had anything on it, and it was littered with pens and loose papers.

“I’ve done nothing but dream of you the past two weeks.” He picked up his smartphone and leaned back against the front of the desk. “I’ve always seen white picket fences in your eyes when you look at me. I was positive I wasn’t that guy. I was wrong. One of these days, when you’re ready, I’ll give that dream to you. And you’re going to give me a gorgeous little girl or two with your dark curly hair and smiles that slay me.”

My chest tightened. “Jax...”

His phone rang and he answered it. “Dennis...No, you heard right, which is why I wanted to touch base with you about reaching out to Parker going forward...No, he won’t be bringing me up to speed. I’m out.” He looked at me. “I’m getting married. Yes, that’s a good thing...Thank you. Good luck in the next election, Senator.”

I watched him kill the call and set his phone on the desk.

He crossed his arms. “You’re still dressed.”

“I don’t sleep with engaged guys.” I fought to stand still while excitement pounded through me. There was something different about him. Something that reminded me of the Jax I’d met in Vegas. I liked it. A lot.

“I didn’t say I was engaged—” his mouth quirked up on one side “—yet. Didn’t say I wanted to sleep, either.”

“You’re awfully sure of yourself.”

“You’re crazy about me.”

“Or just plain crazy.” I crossed my arms, too. “Is this where you’ve been?”

“Mostly.”

“And you couldn’t tell me that?” We were standing across the room from each other, but I felt a powerful pull, as if he were actually tugging me closer.

“Made myself a promise not to bring any more crap to our doorstep for you to deal with. I had to see my way clear first.”

“Clear of what, exactly?”

“Everything except you and Rutledge Capital.”

I rubbed at my chest. “I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“No, but it had to be done. And I wanted to give you time to fix things with your family and to decide whether or not you can forgive me for putting you in that position.” Scrubbing at his jaw, he said hoarsely, “Watching you deal with Deanna... Seeing you and Vincent hurting like that... It shredded me, Gia. I hated myself for putting you through that.”

“It’s all right now. We worked everything out.”

“I’m glad. But it wouldn’t have been the last time.” He shrugged out of his jacket. “All that bullshit I was feeding you about being strong and dealing with it? Famous last words. I said the same things to my mother the last time we spoke, and I think they killed her. They killed the hope in her that she could save me from the life she hated.”

“No.” My heart broke at the guilt and shame I saw on his face. “Don’t beat yourself up like that.”

“I deserve it.” He rubbed wearily at the back of his neck. “I’ll find a way to live with it. I was young. Thoughtless. High on my own self-importance and so certain my dad was a goddamned national hero. I didn’t care that his ambition was destroying our family.”

He looked at me fiercely. “I’m not doing that to us. Nothing is worth losing you again. Nothing.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, loving him more in that moment than I ever had. “Not even the White House?”

Jax laughed, his dark eyes sparkling with humor. “He told you about that dream, huh? That was never going to happen. I think Parker looks at me and deludes himself into thinking that he’s looking in a mirror.”

I could believe that.

“I’m not going to live the life he wants, Gia. I’m going to live the life he should have had. I’m going to marry a sweet girl from a great family, and I’m going to keep her sweet and protected and happy. We’ll have a few kids, a couple dogs, and the occasional barbecue with her overprotective brothers.”

“Is that enough excitement for you?”

“Absolutely. Especially if I can get you out of those clothes.”

I walked over to him and placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating strong and steady through his vest. “I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to make sacrifices for me that you’ll regret.”

Setting his hand over mine, Jax pressed his lips to my forehead. “The only time I’ve ever been happy is when I’m with you. As for the rest of it...I felt like I needed to own those words I said to my mother, otherwise what was the point of saying them and causing her that pain? No one can say I’m not stubborn,” he said with a rueful twist to his mouth. “It’s too late to fix what I did to her, but it’s not too late to avoid making the same mistake with you.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned into him. Did he realize that with all the talk of picket fences and children, it was his raw honesty that bound me to him tighter than vows ever could? “I love you.”

His mouth curved against my skin. “I know. And I’ll never doubt it, not after this.”

“Your dad is going to have a hard time letting you go,” I warned, pulling back to study him.

Jax shrugged, but his jaw was set with determination. “Just so long as you don’t let go.”

“Don’t worry.” Lifting onto the tips of my toes, I nipped his lower lip with my teeth and smiled when he growled. “I’m stubborn, too.”

Epilogue

“I HAVE TO keep telling myself it’s real,” I said, glancing at Lei.

She grinned and gently clinked her champagne flute against mine. “As real as that enormous diamond on your finger.”

As I did several hundred times a day, I extended my hand and admired the five-carat emerald-cut engagement ring Jax had wowed me with. His proposal had been the single most exciting moment in my life, although the opening of the first Trifecta restaurant was nearly up there with it.

I dropped my arm back to my side and turned my attention to the three chefs who were the stars of the party. Chad, David, and Inez stood together as a single unit, talking with the VIPs who’d been invited to the exclusive soft opening of the Atlanta venue.

“Chad looks awesome,” I pointed out unnecessarily. Lei was a red-blooded woman, after all. She knew a prime piece of male eye candy when she saw it. “I’m so proud of him.”

“I’m proud of you,” she said. “We wouldn’t be here now, if not for your dedication and hard work.”

“Thank you for giving me the opportunity.” Seeing the smile on Lei’s face sent a bright sense of accomplishment tingling through me. A lapel pin in the shape of Trifecta’s logo accented her figure-hugging red sheath dress. With her hair down and her eyes bright, she looked young and fresh.

“I feel sorry for her,” she murmured, gesturing discreetly with a slight tilt of her chin.

I followed her gaze and saw Stacy Williams hovering on the fringes of the crowd, her attention on her brother. “I wonder when her first restaurant will launch.”

“Good question. I haven’t heard anything.”

The pretty redhead didn’t look happy. I didn’t know if that was because her brother had shot out of the proverbial gate before she did or because Ian was spending the evening at Isabelle’s side. By all appearances, Ian had a new favorite.

“Does it bother you that he’s here?” I asked, searching the room until I found Jax talking with a man I recognized as the host of a Food Network TV show. Taking a deep breath, I enjoyed the sight of my man, which still hadn’t lessened in impact even after months of living together. He wore an elegant black sweater and dress slacks, and I was looking forward to stripping him out of both in just a few hours.

He caught me staring and winked.

“Ian?” Lei shook her head. “I would’ve been surprised if he hadn’t come. You should say hi to him.”

“Will you?”

She grinned. “When he breaks down and comes to me, yes. I’ll offer him a drink, too. It’s the least I can do.”

Lifting my flute in a farewell toast, I took her advice and started mingling. Eclectic fusion music pumped through the hidden speakers, an audible reflection of the menu. The food was garnering raves and the excitement was high. Opening a new restaurant was always a momentous occasion. Like Lei, I lived for the high.

Soon Vincent would be launching his own Rossi’s. So much to celebrate. Life was getting better every day.

“Congratulations, Gianna. This is quite an accomplishment.”

I stopped and faced Ian Pembry. My mother would call him “dashing.” I thought of him as arresting, with an undeniable charisma.

“Thank you,” I said, holding out my hand to him. “I’ll pass the kudos along to the chefs.”

He kissed my knuckles with firm, dry lips. “I know exactly how much work goes into a successful launch like this. Take the praise—you deserve it.”

I bowed my head in acknowledgment. “I couldn’t have done it without Lei. She’s an awesome mentor.”

Ian’s blue eyes gleamed with amusement and he squeezed my hand before releasing it. “You might be surprised at what you can accomplish without Lei. When you’re ready to take that step, let me know.”

I debated keeping my mouth shut for a minute, then I just went with it. “You blew it with her, you know. She loved you.”

Ian’s face hardened, but before he could reply, his gaze fixed on a point beyond my shoulder. When a steely arm hooked around my waist, I knew who’d drawn his attention.

“Jackson,” Ian greeted him stiffly. “I hear congratulations are in order for you, as well.”

Jax tucked me into his side. “I’m a lucky man who got a second chance.”

I arched a brow at Ian, since Jax’s words tied so neatly into what I’d just said. Ian’s response was a tight smile.

Jax excused us and led me away, his hand cupped around my hipbone in a grip that sent heated thoughts through my mind. “I managed to get us the same room you were in the last time we were here together.”

I remembered that trip well. It had been a turning point for us. The beginning of the end that kicked off a new beginning. “Are you being sentimental?” I teased, drawing to a halt and facing him.

“Still working on fixing past mistakes.”

“Oh? What was the mistake?”

He ran the tip of his finger down the bridge of my nose and his dimple flashed. The one-two punch made me more than a little weak in the knees. “Leaving you naked and wanting. Gotta fix that, baby.”

“I think you’ve left me hanging more than once. Maybe I should make a list.”

Jax’s grin widened. “Absolutely.”

“It might be a long one,” I warned, thinking about all the times he’d gotten me hot and bothered, then made me wait until I thought I’d lose my mind.

He reached for my hand and played with my ring. “Good thing we’ve got plenty of time.”

A lifetime. Which might just be long enough.

* * * * *

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Content

Aftershock
Afterburn & Aftershock - 2
Sylvia Day

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Dear Reader,

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Epilogue