Weak Without Him

Weakness - 2

Lyra Parish

For my professors who thought I should do something creative with my life. I hope this counts.

Hearts live by being wounded.

―OSCAR WILDE

One

Viva Las Vegas.

Sometimes I hated myself for being weak, for giving into Finnley Felton. Other times I reveled in his touch, in the fact that he wanted and had me. When I looked into his eyes, something inside of me snapped in to place, compacting every emotion, creating a wave of solitude knowing he had taken my virginity. Regardless of how much I pretended he took me, I willingly gave myself to him like the little whore I was meant to be. Finnley's whore and, truth be known, I would do it again, and again, and again.

Three pounds against my door tore me from a dreamless sleep. I swung it open and there stood Jesse with a bitch grin on her face. I cocked an eyebrow at her awkward happiness.

"You're due in Mr. Felton's office immediately. I know it's a struggle for you, but try to look presentable."

"Why?"

"Because you're fired."

Those words physically overtook her. At that moment I realized how much she really hated me.

"You're being released from your duties. Once the paperwork is signed at the office, it will be finished. No time for your shit. All of it will be packed and shipped to wherever you will be living. Termination effective immediately."

"I need to get dressed, at least. And exactly what did I do to be fired?"

I wanted to hear the words 'you fucked Felton' come from her mouth, and I smiled slyly as she pursed her lips to speak.

"You are being terminated for refusing Luketon Brand, deliberately disobeying orders, and for disrespecting Mr. Felton. I've had enough of you and so has he."

My eyes widened. That mother fuc—

I couldn't even finish my thoughts without her interrupting me.

"What are you waiting for? Get dressed, now."

"Shit," I whispered and stared as she walked away.

"Stand there and gawk longer than three minutes, and I will call security on your ass."

The look in her eyes combined with her evil bitch grimace and I knew she wasn't joking. I slammed the door and hurried into some blue jeans and a sweater. Great, I looked as frumpy as Charlie Brown.

Felton had seductively whispered 'you're fired', but I thought he was semi-joking. Now as the devil stared me in the face, I knew that he hadn't been. Not cool. Not cool at all. Although I didn't have enough time to grab my things, I stopped and knocked on Lori's door. She cracked it almost immediately. Sleeping beauty woke looking perfect.

"Oh, you're awake."

"I wasn't. I'm a light sleeper."

"I know, I know. Listen, I've been fired. Let's meet for lunch on Thursday. Keep your ears and eyes open."

"Fired for what?"

"Thursday. I've got to go right now. Jesse already threatened to have me removed from the premises if I lollygag."

"Why is she such a bitch?" Lori asked.

"Because she is the daughter of Satan? Gotta go."

I leaned in, gave her a tight squeeze around the neck, then took my time walking down the stairs. It was my last time to show Jesse that she wasn't Queen of The Elite kingdom. Bitch, I was.

I took in every detail of the house until I made it to the bottom step: the chandeliers, the painted pictures on the wall, the high ceilings. The only evil person that was happy to see me leave was waiting by the door: Jesse. I took in a deep breath as I passed her. She ate up every minute of my departure and probably wished the door would hit me on the way out.

Begrudgingly, I slid inside the limo that waited outside Felton Estates. Funny how just months ago I moved into the house, and now I was moving out. My life changed with a move and continued to warp with another. Unsettled should be my middle name. Even that would be better than Antoinette.

Jesse waited in the limo, and once I was inside Charlie slammed the door shut. As we sped down the drive, she sat with a Cheshire-cat grin on her face, but little did she know, I actually got the last laugh.

"I can't believe you denied Luketon Brand. You do understand that Felton had to fire you once you rejected Luke. You should have been fired after that little incident in your bedroom, but, I digress."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh, Mr. Felton gave me all the details."

I flushed.

"How you walked out on Luketon and refused to go through with it on Friday. You know, you should be happy that you aren't being sued for breach of contract with Mr. Brand and The Elite. But it's not over yet."

She didn’t know. Finnley had gracefully covered the fact that he swooped in and took my virginity. Forgetting to mention to her that he burst through the door like the Hulk and demanded I leave Luke's house. But why would he do that? Why wouldn't he want anyone to know? Was he embarrassed of me? I didn't know. We hadn't spoken since that night.

I knew he fired me because I mentioned love. But he started it.

Afterward, he had pulled me into his arms and kissed my lips. His smell encapsulated me and made every fiber of my body stand on end. No matter how close I was to him, I could never have enough.

After ten awkward minutes, Charlie opened the door with a smile outside the office building but quickly turned cold toward Jesse. I knew I liked him.

My heart raced as I entered the atrium of The Elite building. Sparkling glass windows surrounded me and allowed little slivers of sunlight to enter. In the elevator, Jesse silently laughed to herself. I rolled my eyes.

On Felton's floor, my breath caught as I looked at the golden plaque with his name neatly scribed across with perfectly curly F's.

Jesse knocked, and I heard his voice commanding us to enter.

Finnley Felton stood in a dark gray suit with a green tie, the exact color of his eyes. When I caught sight of him, my heart raced.

Calm down, Jennifer.

"Here she is as you requested. Eleven a.m. sharp," Jesse said to Finnley, so sweetly, so genuinely that I almost forgot she was a raging bitch.

"Fantastic," he said, then pulled a black folder from his desk drawer and motioned for us to sit.

I sucked in a deep breath and tried to calm the fuck down. But he stared, and his sex-messed hair urged my emotions wild.

Jesse continued to smile as Felton pulled out the termination letter. Glad I could make the devil happy.

"I need you to sign here and here, Jennifer"—he paused and the room froze for a brief second as we made eye contact—"and here. This one states that you will not go to the press or divulge information to competition. This last one states you've been released from your duties and are no longer property of The Elite."

I didn't say a word as I signed my name across the bottom. Jesse notarized the document after Finnley signed. It was done. I was no longer an Elite.

He closed the folder and placed it inside of his desk drawer. Jesse stood and eagerly waited to escort me from the premises.

"I never thought this day would come," she whispered to me as we walked toward the door.

"Jennifer, I would like a word with you please," Finnley said.

I stopped, and Jesse did too.

"Alone," he stressed.

Without a thought, I gave her the same grin she delivered to me all morning. She scoffed and crossed her arms.

"You've been dismissed, Jesse. Thank you."

With her fists in tight balls, she stormed out of the room. I sat in the chair across from Finn's desk. Jennifer Downs had the last laugh after all. I thought back to the first time I sat in this chair. Naked.

He interlocked his fingers and stared at me from the other side of the desk.

I stared back.

"So," he said.

"So," I replied.

We sat there for an awkward amount of time like high school kids who had a crush on one another.

"Oh my God, Finn. Just come out and say it."

"Excuse me?"

"Just come out and say it was a giant mistake. All of it."

Finnley stood and walked toward me. I stood as well. Once he was in front of me, I smelled his soap, his clothes, and everything that made him Finn. He ran his fingers through my hair then leaned in and brushed his lips so gently across mine that he stole my voice. Before I even muttered a word, we were kissing one another softly, taking our time, and I wished the moment would never end.

"I admit that I'm your occasional asshole, but what we did was not a mistake."

Then he looked at me as if he were waiting for me to agree. I contemplated saying something smart alecky, but I couldn't, not when he was looking at me with such a burning intensity.

"I don't think it was a mistake either," I said. Then I snaked my arms around his waist. "Are you embarrassed of me?" I asked into his chest.

He pushed me away from him and looked down into my eyes. "Embarrassed of you? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Why did you lie? Why did you tell Jesse I refused Luke, and you fired me for that reason?"

Luke; his name left a giant gaping hole in my heart. The thought of him that night, so sweet and vulnerable, never left me. It haunted me.

Finnley sighed. But I knew he wouldn't hold back. He at least owed me the answers to my questions.

"I would never be ashamed of you or what we did. Ever. I couldn't tell Jesse. I don't want anyone knowing, especially the Girls. It's easier this way. Women talk, and the rumors will spread like wildfire. I can't have that."

"She's in love with you, you know."

"I know."

"Why don't you fire her, then? It's only fair."

"First, Jesse is a manager… not one of my Girls. Second, I would never, let me reiterate this, never act upon her feelings. She's a beautiful woman but not my type at all, and I need her around to run the daily tasks. She is an asset to the company. It's just a little infatuation, puppy love, and it's harmless, really."

"That harmless infatuation is why she rode my ass for the last two months."

Finnley grabbed my hand and led me to the windows. Las Vegas was a soup bowl of sin and flashy attractions. As I stared out the window at the gloomy gray sky, I realized a small part of me would miss being a part of The Elite culture with pretty clothes, fancy parties, curfews, and rules.

"Move in with me," he whispered.

"I just moved out. Don't you think that wou—"

"You honestly don't think my official residence is at the Estates with all the Girls." He laughed. "I have a private house in the Ridges."

I didn't know what to say.

What else didn't I know about Finnley Felton? I closed my eyes for a few seconds then opened them. I didn't have anywhere else to go. My options were to move in with Finnley, or find an apartment, today. I was all for easy.

Finn lifted an eyebrow and when I smiled his lips found mine. He backed me against the windows. Cool glass pressed on my back while his warm lips and body pushed against mine.

"Yes, yes."

I didn't know why I said yes, but I thought back to the first time I took a chance with him and joined The Elite. Lady Luck loved my ass, and I knew that if I gambled with her again, she would do me right.

"You have no idea what you just agreed to," he said.

"That's a known fact whenever you're involved." Finnley leaned in and gave me another kiss and as I walked away, his hand connected with my ass. Before I opened the door, I turned and looked at Finnley, with his arms crossed, watching me leave. I shook my head and left.

Jesse waited for me outside of Finn's office. Her nostrils flared when she looked at me. Intimidated, much? When I passed her, she grabbed my arm, hard. I looked down at her hand, and she looked at me with so much hate in her eyes that I almost shuddered. Almost.

"I've already told you once, don't you ever touch me like that again."

"Take this as your warning. You may not be an Elite any longer, but you need to stay away from Finnley, or you'll be sorry."

I yanked my arm from her grasp then took a step closer to her, leaning in toward her face.

"I don't take kindly to threats, Jesse. I'm not sure if you understand what I'm saying, but you aren't my boss anymore. I don't have to listen to the shit that you say. Now, I've got plans, so if you'll excuse me."

"It's not a threat. It's a promise."

"I pity you." I stepped inside the glass elevator, but she didn't follow. My adrenaline spiked, my pulse raced, and I was so pissed off at the audacity of her actions that half of me wanted to return to Finn's floor and punch her in the throat. Who the hell did she think she was?

I took my time walking through the atrium then exited through the double doors. Charlie waited outside the limo. Decisions.

"Jennifer, I will be taking you to your new home. Your belongings are already there," he said.

"But how did you know?"

"Mr. Felton had no doubt that your answer would be yes."

I looked up the building and thought I saw him standing at the windows smiling down at me, but the reflections of the clouds made it too dark. That sneaky little bastard knew me way too well.

FINNLEY

Two

I knew she would say yes and move in with me if I asked. Not many had succeeded in refusing me over the last few years, and I appreciated that she hadn't either. I basked in the glory of knowing that I could make women beg and plead to have me, but the truth was Jennifer didn't have to. I wanted to give her every piece of me, but not all at once. It really was about the chase.

Her living with me was a huge step, but just like everything else with Jennifer Downs, I seemed to jump in heart first, dick second, and brain last. Though occasionally the order would switch.

When I saw her today, I thought my heart might stop. The way those eyes matched her brown dress and boots… damn, it made me want to rip off her clothes and make sweet love to her on my desk, or the floor, or up against the window. I didn't care. But Jesse—determined to be my number-one cock block—wouldn't have it. Once Jennifer left my office, I could finally breathe. She made me nervous. Something a woman hadn't done in years.

I sat at my desk and arranged my afternoon meetings so that I could leave early. Jennifer constantly drove me crazy and pissed me off with her snarky attitude. No one had ever stood up to me the way she did Friday night. No one had ever slapped the shit out of me either. Her fierceness, sweet smell, and the way her hair fell over her face—I fucking needed her. I didn't care if I'd seen her moments ago and that she just left. Her smell lingered in my office, and it distracted me.

I took Jennifer's file from my desk, glanced at the picture she took the day she agreed to become one of my Girls, and made sure all the documentation was finalized. There could be no loopholes; every signature, date, and initial had to be complete so that Jennifer couldn't be sued. Her being fired was partially my fault after all. I only take partial responsibility because she wanted it too.

No one knew she was no longer a virgin, and I would gladly keep the secret to myself. Only a few days had passed since Friday, the day we made whatever it was we had going on official. Saturday, I carried her to her room and left the house. I couldn't be around her because all I wanted to do was be close and intimate. I wanted to kiss and touch her, but it wasn't possible with all the Girls around. I refused to break my own rules openly, so I went to the office and drafted her release letter. Then I traveled to my house at the Ridges. I knew then that I wanted her there with me, warming my bed, sleeping beside me every night. I wanted to see her beautiful face every morning when I woke. It was then that I made the decision to ask her to move in with me after she signed the release papers. This shit was planned and accomplished.

I pulled the keys from my pocket and made my way to V. The temperature had dropped significantly, and winter had swooped in overnight. My favorite season had finally arrived; I thought the cold would never visit. I unlocked the car and sat in the driver’s seat contemplating going home. Fuck the meetings. I sent an email to April, my secretary, and had them rescheduled. I couldn't focus anyway.

V and I zipped and zoomed down the empty streets. Excitement filled me knowing that Jennifer would be at my house. The last time I felt this way was with Jackie, my first wife. My thoughts temporarily went dark, and I forced them away. Out of all the beautiful souls in the universe, Jackie would want me happy. She would want me with someone that I could potentially spend the rest of my life with. Did I feel good about being with another woman? For the first time since the accident, my answer was yes.

Pressing the garage button, I pulled V in and took a deep breath before stepping out. I adjusted my tie and swallowed. The lights were on in the kitchen, and I saw movement by the sink. Jennifer stood with a glass of wine.

"Hi," I said, trying to push all of my emotions back as I caught sight of her.

"You left work?"

"I'm allowed to do that."

She smiled. "Of course you are."

"Helped yourself to my wine, I see."

She downed what remained and refilled the glass halfway. Then pulled another glass from the cabinet and matched her pour, plus some, and handed it to me. I lifted an eyebrow at her, and she smiled over the rim.

"Are we going to play hard to get all day?" she asked.

I set the wine down on the counter and stalked closer toward her. She set hers down as well, and I pressed my body against hers, forcing her back on the cool counter. Her breath caught as I stood over her. I fucking loved that I could do that.

"What did you have in mind?" I whispered in her ear and trailed my lips across her neck. Her chest rose and fell with each staggering breath, then she tugged my hair and pulled me closer to her mouth. Hungrily, she kissed my lips and undid my tie.

"Hold on. Jesus, I'm not going to let you take me in the kitchen."

"I can't take the willing," she said as she continued to undo each button on my shirt.

God was she right.

I hiked her dress up over waist and caught sight of her bare body. No panties. "You are so fucking naughty," I said.

She removed the dress until she stood completely naked with boots zipped to her knees. My pants still hugged my waist and every inch of me needed her. As she pulled me in, I stopped and pushed away from her.

"I'm not going to fuck you in the kitchen." I grabbed her hand and led her beautiful ass to my bedroom. Once inside, she glanced at the king-size bed and all of the surrounding furniture.

She walked to the picture frames on top of the dresser and picked up the silver frame with a photo from my wedding day. She stared for minutes before speaking. A lump formed in the back of my throat, and I sucked in a deep breath before taking the frame from her hand and gently setting it back on the dresser where it had been for the past seven years. She looked into my eyes with so much pity and pain.

"Don’t pity me."

"I don't. She was beautiful."

My desire to lay Jennifer down on my bed and make sweet love to her instantly disappeared. How stupid was I to leave all of those pictures on the dresser? A part of me regretted not putting my memories of Jackie away, but I had to keep them with me because I was afraid that if I moved the frames I would forget her. Forget the way she looked when she smiled. Forget the freckles that sprinkled across her nose, or the sound of her voice and laugh. Most of the small things that I love had almost vanished with time, but occasionally she would visit me in my dreams and leave me with a piece of her. I had several memories of her locked away in my heart, and they would stay there forever. Although I was ready to move on and be with Jennifer, I wasn't ready to forget Jackie. I would never be ready to forget her.

I zipped my pants and left the room. The pictures combined with the smell of Jennifer and her beautiful naked body became too much. My feelings for both women crossed and intermingled with one another, and I had to walk away.

Having a seat at the barstool in the kitchen, I drank the glass of wine that Jennifer poured. I would have to fight my demons, or I would never be able to fully move on. Fucking emotions.

Three

I really hated being nosey. Why did I grab the picture of his wife on their wedding day? Couldn't I have just let the curiosity consume me later? Much later, like after we had made sweet love to one another? I wanted Finnley so fucking bad that it hurt. But it also hurt to know that he was hurting, and although I said I didn't pity him, a small part of me did. He was a widower at twenty-three. Terrible things like that happened to people, but not often, and usually not at such a young age. Losing both parents had almost destroyed me, and they would never be replaced. A lover, on the other hand, could.

If I were in his situation, I wondered if I would look for someone else, or if I would just stay alone forever. I buried those thoughts, because I didn't know the answer and wouldn't bathe in the negativity that seemed to surround me.

Instead of following Finn, I let him go, even if just for a few minutes. It sucked, but I had learned to leave him alone while at the Estates, and I would do the same here.

While I was in his room, I took my time looking at all the pictures on the dresser. She was beautiful. Dark hair and eyes, with freckles lightly brushed across her nose. Everything about her was perfect. She was genuinely pretty. I could see why Finnley loved her.

I almost imagined her voice, soft and sincere. In one picture, she laughed so hard that I wondered what Finnley had said before he snapped the moment. Pictures of their wedding day and random trips were scattered across the dresser. He looked so young, so in love, and so…. vulnerable. The man that ran The Elite was not the man in these pictures. Something in him had changed.

I sighed and unzipped the boots from my legs.

Still naked, I walked into the kitchen, moved behind Finnley, and massaged his muscular shoulders. Then I slowly kissed up the back and sides of his neck. He swiveled the barstool around, and I moved between his legs. He rested his forehead upon mine and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don’t be."

I brushed my lips against his painting my emotions with kisses, and his intensity grew, almost matching mine.

"You should have just fucked me on the counter," I said.

"No."

Finnley pulled me into his arms and carried me into his room. He set me down on the soft blankets, and I pulled him onto the bed beside me.

"What?" I asked and looked at him incredulously.

"Sometimes you are so damn ridiculous."

I sat up in bed and slapped his stomach. "No, I'm not! Asshole."

"Yes, you are. How did I end up in here again? Wait, it's because you're ridiculous and relentless when you want something."

"Well I can't deny that."

Then he was on top of me, smiling, staring into my eyes and kissing my neck. His lips trailed up and down my body, finishing with my mouth.

"You drive me crazy, you know." His thumb swept across my bottom lip, and I kissed it.

"Make love to me," I said, reaching down to unfasten his pants.

He slid them off along with his underwear, and I felt his hardness outside of me, waiting for me to give him the go-ahead.

"Please," I begged.

"You don't have to beg me. I will give you anything you want. Every piece of me if you want it."

"Good, because I fucking need it," I whispered, and grazed my fingernails down his back.

He entered me slowly, and I gasped with sweet satisfaction.

"You're so wet," he whispered in my ear.

"You do that to me," I said.

Wanting to take in every inch, I urged him deeper and pushed my body into him. His movements were slow, in and out. The whole experience of it all was still new and foreign, and I never wanted to forget the way he felt inside of me, making me feel so damn good.

I moaned with satisfaction as his movements quickened. I was kissing him and coaxing him to lie on his back. He didn't argue with me, even though I really didn't know what the hell I was doing. All I knew was that I needed to be in control. I wanted to rock his world.

He placed his hands behind his head and watched me with a smile as I straddled him, my legs squeezing against his hips. I sucked in a deep breath as I slowly guided him inside me. I gasped and sat perfectly still. Gently, I grazed my hands across his stomach muscles, then bent over and kissed his mouth. With every movement I made, I felt him. I began rocking my hips in small circles as Finnley tugged at my bottom lip with his teeth. His hands guided my every movement, until roaming to my nipples. When he pinched, I moaned.

I grabbed onto the headboard and slid up and down him more frequently with long strides. When his hands found their way to my ass, he squeezed and moved along with me. I reached behind me and interlocked his fingers with mine, forcing his hands above his head as I continued to ride him. Then I leaned back and let his hands guide my hips on top of him. I moaned his name as he hit spots I didn't know existed.

As my orgasm built, Finnley continued to make me feel so fucking good. Each movement became deeper, wilder, and more aggressive. Together we moved with one another in a rhythm that made my head spin, my muscles tighten, and my upper thighs tremble.

"That's it, baby. I can feel you tightening. Come on me. We can come together," he whispered.

I moved more forcefully on him, and he pushed himself deeper into me. After a few more deep thrusts, the orgasm pulsated its way through my body, shifting my world. Then Finn came and filled me with himself; we were buckling with one another, experiencing the ultimate release and satisfaction together. I felt I had been ripped from my body by the overwhelming emotions that coursed through me as I toppled on Finn's chest with him still inside me. Our rapid breathing steadied, and I couldn't focus on anything: not on Finn, or myself, or the fact that I was fucking him in his bed, or that I had agreed to live with him. I had lost myself in pure sexual bliss, and I didn't give a shit that I barely remembered my own name.

A few minutes passed, and I slid off of him. He held me in his arms, and I heard his heart beat slowing to a steady pace. Fucking Finnley Felton fucked with my feelings, now I couldn't get rid of him. And the truth of the matter was, I didn't want to. If someone had told me six months ago that my life would lead to this exact moment, I would have never believed it.

"Oh." I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. He smiled.

"I almost forgot to mention, you owe me $800,000," I said.

"For?"

"For my V-card."

He actually scoffed. I rested my head on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around my body.

That's right, time to pay up, beyatch.

"So I assume you want it in singles? Shall I make it rain?"

"Whatever you want to do."

"On a more serious note, what do you want to do today?"

"You," I said.

He laughed and then we laid in silence for a while.

"I've been meaning to ask you a question for some time now."

"Okay?"

"Why did you strip in my office so willingly? Or agree to sell your virginity? Normal, logical people don't do things like that. You're a smart intelligent woman, and it seems out of character, almost unrealistic in a sense."

"Sometimes a person does something just to do it. I don't understand why that's so hard to understand. I was in a new city. Truth be told, I was tired of fitting in the fucking box. Before I came here, I was predictable prude Jennifer. I didn't want to be the same person I was in Texas. I wanted to be someone different with someone different. Sometimes people take chances for the hell of it. Good enough answer for you?" I purred.

He lifted an eyebrow. "But you already had everything you needed. What did you have to gain?"

"The real question you should be asking me is what did I have to lose?"

No response. I had caught him off guard. I loved that.

"I'm going to take a shower, then I'm taking you shopping. Your winter wear is drab."

"What if I don't want to go shopping?"

"I don’t think you have a choice," he said.

Some things would never change.

Four

While Finnley showered, I dressed. As naughty as I was, I walked back into the kitchen, pulled the sweater dress over my body, and zipped up my boots. Hair, although a little wild, would stay exactly how it was. I wanted to wear our sex throughout the day.

Finnley wore a pair of tattered jeans and a black t-shirt with some odd circle arrow design on it. Designer, I knew it had to be, but other than that, he looked like a normal twenty-nine year old. No suit, tie, or expensive shoes. Just jeans, sneakers, and a t-shirt. I smiled at how good he made plain look.

"Like what you see?"

"Hmm. Let me think about that," I said.

His strong body pressed against mine. He reached over my shoulder and grabbed the keys to V from the counter. The warmth and smell of his clean body made my breath catch.

"Of course you do," he said.

I followed him to the garage, and we got in V and closed the doors at the same time. Finnley backed out of the driveway, and we were on our way. The soft leather conformed to my body, and I sunk into the seat. Sprinkles hit the windshield, but the rain didn't stop Finnley from weaving in and out of traffic. Not much stopped him from doing what he wanted.

When we arrived, he asked me different questions about my style.

Style, what the hell was that?

He decided he would be dressing me, since I had no clue what I wanted to wear and didn't have a preference. Department stores, malls… wow. Today would be interesting, nonetheless.

A cute young woman, no older than nineteen or twenty, greeted us. Finnley described what he wanted, down to the different types of fabrics, and listed designer names I had never heard of. She led us to the back of the store close to the dressing rooms. "Elegant but sexy," Finnley told her. Before I could comprehend what happened, Escada, Adam Lippes, Akris Punto, Gucci, and Lela Rose were being pulled from the racks; the thousand dollar price tags dangling from the sleeves.

"I cannot let you spend this kind of money on me," I whispered.

"Nonsense."

"Finn, seriously, this is too much."

He stopped walking and glared at me.

"You're the one that said I owed you $800,000. I'm paying you off penny by penny, so accept it."

I rolled my eyes and followed him and Miss Prissy to the dressing rooms. He stood outside while I tried on the outfits.

"How do they look?"

"Why don't you come in and see for yourself?" I cracked open the door.

The next thing I knew, he was pushing his way into the dressing room, and his face lit up as he caught sight of me wearing an Akris black, double-face wool, zip-shoulder, flare dress. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

"This is how you should dress all the time." He placed his hands on my waist. "See how it accentuates your waist and forms to your body? Make note of it. I want to see the coat dress next."

I turned around, and he unzipped the form fitting fabric from my body. It fell to the floor, and I stepped out of the $3000 dress then slipped on the one he requested. The flared collar and wool fabric with built-in pockets seemed more like something I would wear. Plus it was warm. Even better, I had a Peplum jacket in the same style waiting.

"This one isn't so bad, is it?" I actually liked it. Over my shoulder, I looked at him.

I went toward him and stood inches from his face.

"I'm as bored as that dress."

"Are you kidding me? Look at this collar. Collars do not make people look boring."

"I disagree."

"Who died and made you the fashion police?"

"The same person who died and gave you that smart ass mouth."

This was the Finnley I knew and loved.

I reached my hand down to his pants and ripped open the button, then unzipped them violently.

He lifted an eyebrow at me. "The same person who died and made you think you could do whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want, and wherever you want," he whispered in my ear.

Then I dropped to my knees and yanked down his jeans, but he didn't protest. No sensible man would. He wasn't completely hard, but I knew that would change when I placed him in my mouth. The combination of eye contact and licking worked like magic.

Lightly, I grazed up his length with my lips and licked down to the tip, making sure my tongue covered every inch. I wanted him to feel my eagerness to please. Then I placed him in my mouth, starting slow, and trying to push him, all of him, into me. He gave out a stifled moan as I varied my speeds and intensity and combined my mouth with my hands. I looked up into his eyes, and he watched me hungrily. When he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall, and when his quad muscles tightened, I knew he was getting close. So I slowed my rhythm, and moved my fingers up his legs, then grazed fingernails down his abs as I picked up the pace. Deep groans, and the anticipation of his orgasm built. But he wouldn't come until I allowed it, because I was in control.

Continuing to drive him wild, I nibbled and licked my way up and down him. Then I forced him deeper into my mouth, wanting him to know how much I enjoyed making him feel good. His hands found their way to my hair, and he interlaced the strands between his fingers. I worked faster, and harder, pulling him closer to the edge. When he whispered he was close, I pushed him more forcefully and deeper into my throat until he released himself. I felt the orgasmic wave and heard the soft moan as he came. I swallowed every drop of him, making sure nothing was left behind or wasted. The taste wasn't my favorite but I did it to please him. I stood up, bit my bottom lip, and stared into his eyes.

"Don't say I never gave you anything," I said, echoing the same words he whispered to me in his office.

"Yeah? I still think the dress is boring." He ran his hands up my stomach, grabbed the material in his fists, and ripped it open. Buttons popped and landed on the floor, and his hands found their way to my bare breasts.

"It's not so boring, now."

"Because it's destroyed." I removed the ripped clothing from my shoulders and put on my sweater dress, knowing we had taken too long in the dressing room.

"Oh, and I'll take everything you picked out, since you are indeed the chief of fashion."

He zipped his pants, and I exited the dressing room smiling with satisfaction. Knowing that I brought him over the edge pleased me.

The woman stood at the counter and asked how everything fit. I smiled and responded sweetly. "Once I had a taste of designer, I decided I wanted it all."

I pretended to glance through the jackets on the rack as she scurried toward the dressing room. She returned to the counter with every piece of clothing in her arms. Finnley followed behind her. If she worked on commission, today would be like winning the lottery.

Finn smiled with delight as the woman kindly mentioned the wool coatdress had several buttons missing, and she couldn't sell it in that state.

He bit his bottom lip, and she gushed.

Eye roll.

"Really? How many buttons are missing, exactly?" He glanced over at me and leaned coolly on the counter. She pointed down the dress as she counted.

"At least six of the ten buttons. I'm not sure how something like this happens. My manager will be upset. This is completely unsellable."

"I'll buy it how it is," he said.

Her eyes lit up, and then she gave him her best pouty-lips look. He was such a player.

"But it's ruined. Look, even the fabric is ripped along the seam." She held the dress and showed the rip of the collar.

"I won't tell, if you won't," he whispered. I thought her legs might buckle from beneath her, but instead she smiled and scanned every piece of clothing from the dressing room, including the wool dress.

"Your total came to,"—she paused and glanced at the register. It read $87,248.63.

He lifted his eyebrow at her and pulled out a black American Express from his wallet. She looked down at the card, then back at him.

"A no-limit card," she said, smiling.

"That's not all I've got," he said and handed the girl a black business card with red lips on the back.

What the hell? Was he really doing this right now?

She looked down at the card and he continued, "If you're looking for a new job, give me a call."

And that's when my temper raged. He was not doing this with me right there. I walked to him, smiled, and wrapped my arm around his waist, publicly claiming him as mine, but he pushed my hand away. The girl lowered her eyes, placed the clothing in garment bags and handed them to Finnley.

"Here you are, Mr. Felton, and,"—she hesitated—"I may keep your offer in mind." She batted her long eyelashes toward him.

Now don't get me wrong, Finnley Felton was fucking sex on legs. With a single look, he could make any woman drop to her knees and beg to please him regardless of whether he wore a suit and tie or street clothes. Messy hair, long eyelashes, pouty lips, high cheekbones, and a strong jaw combined with smothering confidence were only a few attributes for one of the richest, most-fuckable CEOs under the age of thirty. Finnley was the definition of sex appeal. So, I couldn't help that jealousy flared inside of me. To top the situation off, she was cute. I wondered if another one of his Girls would be the one, the next me, and if I would be pushed aside since I was no longer a virgin.

He handed half of the black garment bags to me and walked furiously toward the exit. After shoving the clothes into the trunk, he slid behind the steering wheel and slammed the door shut. I followed.

"What the fuck was that?"

I looked over at him.

"I'm not sure if you've realize who the fuck I am or what the fuck it is I do for a living, but if you're going to be in my life, you'll need to figure it out quickly."

I wanted to yell at him. Tell him how ridiculous he was being, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"You don't want me touching you in public?"

"Glad we're on the same page."

"Wait just one damn second. What am I to you, Finn? What is it you want from me? Because the sooner I figure that out, the sooner I'll be on the same page."

"You're my best kept secret. So let's keep it that way."

Five

His words caught me off guard. Secret? I was nothing more than a fucking secret. Moments like these made me want to slap those beautiful features from his face. Anger boiled inside me, as it flared inside him, and together we were a hurricane of fuming emotions.

If we were to be a couple—wait, were we to be a couple? Or was I just a good fuck that now lived with him? Actually, I didn't know what he even thought or felt for me. I lived in some fucked-up fairy tale and thought everything would be perfect since Prince Charming took my virginity. I was mistaken.

When we arrived back at his house, I stormed inside and snatched the keys to the Honda from the counter.

"Where do you think you're fucking going?"

"Away."

I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go. Not wanting to peer into his eyes, but doing it anyway, caused his features to soften.

"You can't go," he said.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want. You don't own me. All of this has been my choice and having that right doesn’t change now. My parents are dead, and I don't need new ones. Agreeing to move in with you was a lapse of fucking judgment, and I've changed my mind. I don’t want to be your secret little fuck. I won't."

He actually laughed, sarcastically, but it was still a laugh.

"Hold on. You've always done exactly as I've asked, so don't get pissy and act like you're running the show, Jennifer. You aren't. You never were. If you're to live with me, there are rules. Just as if you are an Elite. Rules that must be followed. My say is final, always. So let’s start with this one: you don't get to do whatever the fuck you want. I've got a business to run and despite your childish, ridiculous jealousy that decided to rear its ugly little head, I will not have you interrupting me while I'm recruiting. I'm not an idiot. I can see right through you. I know you, Miss Downs."

I opened my mouth to speak, but he interrupted me.

"The Elite is a part of me, and if you want to be the other part, you can't act that way. I will not choose between the two. I'm not keeping you here. I'm not forcing you to stay, but once you walk out that door, don't fucking come back."

Was that it? After one of the most sexually charged days of my life, would this be how it would end? I stood there and contemplated my next move. Evening was upon us and finding an apartment before dark would be impossible. I would rent a hotel room and search tomorrow. But did I really want to leave? Did I want to walk away from everything that Finnley and I had shared… whatever it was?

"I occasionally hand-pick my Girls. If I see something in a person that others would enjoy, I will slip her a business card. Yes, I'm aware that women want to fuck me, and that I can act a certain way and make them do whatever I please. But I didn't want to fuck her, regardless of what you think."

He opened the refrigerator, grabbed a bottle of water, and walked to the living room. I stood there, silently, trying to decide whether to stay or leave. While contemplating what the fuck I was doing, I smoothed the sweater dress on my legs. There was only one answer, and we both knew what it was.

"I won't be moving in, Mr. Felton. I'm sorry," I said, and closed my fist around the keys then softly closed the door leading to the garage. My heart raced, and I didn't know if I would really be able to walk away from him, but somehow I did. As I sat in the Honda, I thought about going back to him, but instead I reversed out of the garage and drove myself to the Bellagio.

Funny wasn’t it? That I ended up at that hotel after all of it. Life had really gone full circle.

The same woman that checked me in a few months ago happily handed me a key to a room. I robotically wheeled the suitcase to the elevator. My mind spun, and I didn't know when it would stop. I tried to think back and replay exactly what had happened and where our day made a wrong turn. Did I overreact a little? Maybe.

Finn didn't call. He didn't stop me. Although I wanted him to stand up and demand that I not leave, I knew he wouldn't.

It would be easy to do whatever Finn said. I could pretend to be his housewife, sleep in his bed every night, and allow him to take care of me, but pretending in private and pretending in public were two different things. Since my parents' death, I vowed to live like tomorrow would never come, and I didn't want to waste my days faking my feelings. I didn't want to act like we weren't together. It seemed there were lots of things I didn’t want.

Leaving was my decision, one that I made on my own.

Hopefully Finnley finally understood that he was no longer the boss of me, because Jennifer Downs did whatever the hell she wanted, even if it was just to prove a fucking point.

Yesterday seemed like a crazy dream, and I halfway expected to wake up at the house with the Girls, back in my bed, which I had become so accustomed to falling asleep in. A part of me wanted to warp back to a time when relationship complications didn't exist, where the hardest part of the day consisted of picking which shoes to wear, or Elite training.

After I dressed in a plain shirt, blue jeans, and flats, I grabbed my phone and searched online for apartments. I would need to find a place before the end of the day, but every picture I looked at was unimpressive. I wouldn't settle. The next place I moved to would need to be nearly perfect and close to downtown. If I were to stay in Vegas, it would have to be worth my while.

The money from selling my parents’ house stayed untouched in my bank account. Money wasn't an issue and leaving wasn't an option. A part of the city reeled me in, hook, line and sinker style, and I planned to stay.

When I opened the door to leave, I saw the back of someone I didn't expect to see. He turned around, and his crystal blue eyes stared into mine. My breath caught, and I couldn't speak.

"Hi," Luke said.

"Hi."

We stood staring at one another.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Hmm. You left Texas and came straight to the Bellagio. You left The Elite, so this seemed like the only logical place you'd be. I called the hotel, and they gave me your room number. You aren't very hard to track down."

I smiled because he was right, and he returned the gesture.

"Do you want to grab a coffee? I'd like to talk."

Awkwardness lingered.

It was now or never, I supposed, so I agreed to have coffee. Coffee was innocent. I couldn't refuse him while he stood with that sweet smile on his face. It killed me. Somehow, I knew this would happen, that I would become another one of Luketon's terrible statistics, another mark on his wall of women that broke his heart.

"Yeah. Sure. I'd like that."

I slid the hotel key into my back pocket and followed him down the stairs. As many nights as I had stayed at the Bellagio, I'd never used them. I was only on the fourth floor, so it was no big deal. I needed to calm the fuck down, but I couldn't. A wave of guilt swept over me.

Once outside, the cool breeze hit my face and body. I shivered and crossed my arms. Luke took off his jacket and placed it over my shoulders with a smile. Always a gentleman. His warmth still filled the sleeves, and his smell covered my body. God his smell... like fresh Irish Spring. I actually missed it.

A quaint little café on the corner acted as a refuge from the crisp air. The big windows had a countdown to Christmas with fake snow sprayed across the panes. The little bell rang when Luke opened the door. The smell of roasted coffee beans immediately filled my nose. A grinding espresso machine added to the quiet chatter and ambient music in the room. Strangers sipped from tall white cups, and Christmas decorations lined the counters and shelves against the walls. Seriously, we had over a month left, but then again, some places started counting down the days before Halloween.

God, I loved a nice coffee on a winter day. Triple Mocha Latte in a "for here" mug with whip, hells yes. Without thinking, I opened my phone and read the last few text messages Luke sent while he ordered his drink. I couldn't seem to forgive myself for what I'd done to him. Knowing that all women treated him badly, and everyone he had ever been in love with left him, made me feel horrible. I didn't want to become another reason why he didn't trust women.

Our coffees slid across the bar, and the barista yelled our order: light mocha with skim milk and a black coffee. I never understood black coffee. How could someone drink it with no cream or sugar, with nothing fun or delicious? I hoped after I told him about Finnley and me, he wouldn't act like his coffee: bitter.

The cream made a heart in the mug as it melted together with the warm liquid. Once we sat down by the windows close to the door and watched the people walking on the streets, I twirled my little straws to pass the time. He finally broke the silence.

"So how have you been? Haven't talked in a few days."

"Good. Great, actually. You know, I was fired."

"Well maybe you can strive to become an accountant like you wanted."

I swallowed, and my nerves overtook me. I couldn't tell him, not with him staring and smiling. The more I looked at him, the more I saw Finnley in his features. They were both beautiful and brilliant, with a similar face shape and full lips. Where Finn's eyes were green, Luke's were blue. Their hair, though different colors, had the same texture, but Finn's was shaggy, while Luke's wasn't. Their accents, sense of fashion, and even laughs resembled one another. How dense was I to not recognize they were related, considering the amount of time I spent with both of them?

"Jennifer."

I moved my eyes from the passing people on the streets to Luke.

"I know about you and Felton."

My heart dropped, and I thought I might be sick. I couldn't do this, not right now, not in public. The one thing I hated most was being blindsided, being put on the spot, and right then, at that moment, I wanted to do nothing more than run away. But it wouldn't have solved anything. I knew that.

"You know what, exactly?"

The truth that Jesse thought she knew was a lie, and I had to know that Luke's truth was different from hers, even if it would hurt hearing it from him.

"I know that you had sex with him. I know that you were let go, and about the lie Finn told to keep you out of the limelight. I know that you know he is my brother, and I regret not being the one to tell you. I wanted to, but I never found the right moment. Basically, I know it all, and I'm sorry."

Here he was, sitting in front of me after I'd crushed him, apologizing to me. I closed my eyes and then sucked in a deep breath.

"Don't apologize to me, Luke. If anything, I should be dropping to my knees and begging for your forgiveness. I'm so sorry, you have no reason to apologize to me."

"I'm not upset with you. But I want you to tell me yourself that you don't have feelings for me. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me because I don't believe Finnley, unless it was all a lie."

"Luke."

He leaned over the table and whispered, "Tell me. I want to hear you say it."

"I can't tell you that. I care about you, a lot. I want you to be happy... But I know I can't fully give myself to you the way you want me to."

"Do you love him?"

This would be the second time that I was asked this question. If love didn't matter that much, then why did the two of them insist on asking me about it.

"I don't think I know what love is, Luke. I like Finnley, yet sometimes I dislike him. I can't tell you if it's love. I don't know."

"Do you love me?"

Hurt spread across his face. I heard the angst in his tone and watched his muscles tense. The emptiness in his voice made me cringe. Luketon Brand was Finnley Felton's brother. How could he ever forgive me after I looked him in the eyes and told him I wanted him, and then went to his brother? My feelings were a writhing jumbled mess of knots and tangles, and I couldn't work them out. Not right now, not with Luke in front of me.

"Luke."

"It was all a lie, wasn't it? All of it. Every moment we spent together was nothing more than a game. Pretend. I really thought we had more than that, Jennifer, regardless of The Elite."

"I never faked anything with you."

I couldn't stand to see him hurt this way and to know that I caused it. We sat in silence, and I removed his jacket from my shoulders. The burning in my chest traveled up my body, and I almost gave in to the sadness as I squeezed my eyes shut. Not even the most perfect cup of coffee could make me happy. Nothing could make me happy, and I knew it wouldn't hurt this way if I didn't care or if I didn't have some sort of feelings for him.

"I thought we had something. I felt something when I was with you. I thought you might be the one for me, and I was falling in love. You had the key. You threw it away."

I sat there, unable to say a word. My heart hurt. His heart hurt. It was inevitable that someone would feel like shit in the end, and it should have been me. And only me. Every action had a consequence, and as much as I wished I could take some of it back, I couldn't. I caused this pain. I deserved to feel like a piece of shit. His words caused my world to spin and crash down, as I remembered the tattoo, Paris, and how Finnley had replaced all of those memories with himself.

"I'm sorry. What can I say?"

"There's nothing you can say."

Luke snatched the jacket from the back of my chair and jerked the door open. The bell slammed against the top of the door and everyone turned and looked. I didn't stop to apologize, but instead went after him.

"Luke. Please."

He kept walking as I stood on the street hollering his name. People stared at me as tears welled in my eyes. I'd hoped that out of the two brothers I had made the right choice. But as I stood there, I realized that I hadn’t, and now I had neither one. Life was never easy, and everything seemed even more complicated now. Finally, I understood the complexity of the situation at hand. I had created a mess.

I opened my phone and focused on the last text message from Luke in my inbox.

Paris in two weeks.

Damn it. I needed to get ahold of myself and stop dwelling on the what-ifs and what could be's. Those would drive me insane if I let them. As I stared at the screen, I texted him:

I cared about you and still do. Everything I ever said to you was the truth. I'm sorry.

I didn't expect to receive a message back, and didn't get one. The walk back to the hotel seemed to last for centuries, as I replayed every word Luke said. Once I felt like the biggest ass in the entire world, I crawled into bed and pulled the blanket to my chin. The way Luke treated me was justified by my actions, and I deserved to be without either one of them. The feeling of being completely and utterly alone stalked me in the shadows and followed me around. Lady Luck hated me right now. She had the right, too, because even I hated me.

Six

Instead of sulking all day, I made an appointment with the best damn real estate agent in Vegas. Feeling sorry for myself would get me nowhere fast and that wasn't me. I had to pick up and move on, and try to keep myself busy before the guilt consumed me.

The man that showed me around various townhomes had a knack for fashion, with his perfectly wrapped scarf, leather shoes, and Versace man bag.

After the third walk through of a place that I was not feeling, Mr. Metro made a few phone calls, and we were on our way to view another. I was being that customer, the one that agents hated, the one that would never be happy.

Only a mile from downtown sat a cute townhome with a shady brick sidewalk that led to a red door. When he opened it, I gasped. Tall ceilings, wooden floors, and fashionable colors flowed together nicely on the walls: light blues and greens, and even beiges.

"Each one of these townhomes has its own interior brick courtyard with copper gutters. Perfect for those small dinner parties or just sitting outside to read a book. Although the exterior is connected, each has its own set of stairs as well, and privacy measures in the back."

A bar in the kitchen overlooked the living room area. At the top of the stairs was a den that overlooked the open floor space. The bedrooms, although only two, were large with tall windows.

"What's even better is you are only a few blocks from the heart of the city. I know you said that was a must." He smiled.

"I want it. I'll take it. How much was the price again?"

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. The seller has it listed at half a million. I know you said your budget was half of that, so I thought maybe we could discuss a few things."

"Yes, that's way over my limit. Not that it's not worth it. It's perfect. It's just, well, it's not within my budget."

I had $600,000 in the bank from the insurance policy and selling the house. I couldn't spend that much.

"Let me make a few phone calls. I'm allowed to act as your agent while representing my client. If not, I've got a few other places we can go."

Clint, also known as Mr. Metro, stepped outside, and I watched him pace back and forth through the double sliding doors, talking a million miles per hour. Gosh, I wanted this place. The resale value would be just as high if I ever wanted to move, so it wasn't like I was blowing my parents’ money, but I couldn't spend that much. I sucked in a deep breath and decided that, regardless of what the sellers said, I would take it. It just felt right.

Clint returned as I stood in the living room imagining where my new furniture would go.

"I've got some good news and some bad news, which would you like first?"

"Bad news, I suppose."

"There was another offer, and the seller wants to close today."

"Are you serious? That sucks. I really wanted it. So what's the good news?"

"My client said to make an offer and he will consider it. I told him what your budget was, the $250,000."

"Great. So I guess we should move on?"

He received a text and pulled his phone from his pocket. His eyes lit up with disbelief.

"Um. Actually we should go back to the office."

"Why is that?" I said.

"Because the owner accepted your offer, and he wants to close today."

"What? Are you kidding? This place is going to be mine?"

Every ounce of happiness spread across my face. It was probably the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I couldn't hold back my ridiculous grin at the shock on Clint's face. Maybe Lady Luck did have my back after all.

We went back to the office, and I signed the paperwork. Clint dropped me off at the café on the corner because I needed my coffee fix, and it was only a few blocks from the hotel. I hated walking back in there after the scene that happened that morning, but it was time to celebrate with death by coffee. As I walked in, the teenager at the counter lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, I'm back again."

"Triple Mocha Latte with whip?"

"You're good. And yep."

I sat at a table in the corner and watched the people walk by. I couldn't contain my excitement and wanted to tell someone, anyone, about my new purchase. For a moment, I thought about texting Abbie. Eventually we would have to make up, right? She didn't really know how I felt about Finnley, so could I really hate her for it? As much as I wanted to think she didn't know, Abbie wasn't dense when it came to me and guys, and my hints were painfully obvious.

The latte, so sweet and warm, satisfied me. I picked up a newspaper from a table close by and browsed the employment ads. Time to look for a job since the money wouldn't last forever.

I stretched the thin paper across the table, crossed my legs, and scrolled through the various positions listed on the pages. Nothing captivated me like The Elite had, or would use my undergraduate degree like Simon and Fitch. I lifted the newspaper, folded it in half, and read my horoscope.

Someone will turn your regular routine on its ear–and you're going to love it.

I set the paper down and sighed. So, what if my regular routine was already completely jacked up? Stupid horoscope didn't account for that, did it?

As I stared out the window and sipped my coffee, I felt someone standing behind me. When I turned to look, fucking Finnley Felton hovered over me. God, he looked yummy in his three-piece suit, and he smelled delicious. And I hated myself in that moment for dressing frumpy.

"Hello. My name is Finnley Felton. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

I looked at him incredulously.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to start over," he bent down and whispered in my ear.

Oh, he wanted to start over, did he? Well, then I would play his game.

"Hello, Mr. Felton," I said stressing his name. "My name is Jennifer Downs. It's nice to meet you," I said, ever so sweetly, and sipped my coffee. He sat down across from me, and I folded the newspaper in on itself.

"I couldn't help but notice you were reading your horoscope. May I?"

"What are you doing here?" I whispered lowly, making sure no one heard me.

"Give me a break, Jennifer. I had to see you," he said.

It was easy to forget about him when his smell wasn't pulling me closer to him, reminding me of all the things we had done in the past seventy-two hours. But with him sitting in front of me, looking like sex on legs, it was hard to ignore it all. Hard to push back the emotions that I was constantly forced to bury.

"So, my horoscope?"

"When is your birthday?"

"May thirteenth."

"Oh, a Taurus, the bull. Very fitting, Mr. Felton. Very fitting, indeed. It says, 'Though you're stable and sensible, sometimes you need to break out of that middle ground and try something crazy. Today is perfect for wild schemes and nonsense, so go for it!' Wow, yours is much better than mine."

He lifted an eyebrow and bit his bottom lip. Fuck, he was sexy.

"So won't you tell me about yourself?" I leaned across the table. "And don't you dare lie."

He moved in closer to me, and his voice was almost a low rumble.

"I run a successful business, and apparently, I'm an egotistical asshole who continuously makes mistakes."

"Go on."

"I've been in a horrible mood since someone I really care about walked out of my life."

"Really? Why would someone do such a thing?"

"Because I can be insensitive. I tend to be a little of heaven and hell mixed into one and shut my feelings off. I've done it for so long that I'm finding it hard to turn them back on."

Finnley was being too truthful with me.

"Oh, and I have one brother. Two houses. I like fast cars and beautiful women. And obviously, I've said way too much by the look on your face."

"Well, Mr. Felton. It is quite a lot to take in with one bite."

"I've got something I would like you to bite," he whispered.

I recomposed myself and leaned my back against the seat.

"I'd love to take you to dinner tonight," he said.

"I don’t know if that's a good idea. I have to go furniture shopping today. I bought a house."

"Then the occasion calls for a celebration. Join me for dinner. I'll meet you at your place once you've finished shopping."

I thought back to my horoscope and decided to go for it.

"Okay. Oh, you need directions, don't you?"

He stood up and smiled.

"No. I know where you're moving."

I gave him a look.

"Honestly, how do you think you got that deal? And how did I know you were here? Lucky guess? I think not."

"Clint and his stylish clothes. I should have known he was one of your guys," I whispered.

After another smile, the beautiful asshole was out the door.

God, I missed him.

I finished my latte and headed back to the hotel. The cold breeze crossed my face, and I shivered. Damn it was cold. Tucking my hands into my hoodie, I picked up the pace until the warmth of the Bellagio coated me. On the way up the elevator, I received a text.

Finn: I had my interior decorator look at your place. Furniture will arrive soon. Your boxes and every single piece of clothing I bought you will be there today. So you're settled.

Me: Why are you doing this?

Finn: Because I care about you. Pick you up at eight, where? Hotel or home?

Me: Hotel

Finnley turned my life upside down and right side up, shuffled my pieces, then put me back together. But he wasn't an open book and as much as I hated the unknown, whenever he was involved, I loved it. He owned property too and what were the odds I would choose his agent, and his damn townhome? I needed to figure him out, because he apparently had already done the same for me.

I didn’t have too many nice clothes with me, just a suitcase of random things from the car. A black shirt with a swooping neck, a pair of tight fitting jeans, and heels would have to do. I washed my hair and applied dark eyeliner and mascara. My hair, just a bit wavy, cooperated like a champ in the cool weather. That was one good thing about little to no humidity, curls stayed and frizz didn't.

Like always, I had a knock on my door, early. I cracked it open and Finn stood with daisies.

He handed them to me. "You don't seem like a red rose type of girl."

How did he continue to hit the nail on the head? I grabbed the coffee pot and filled it with water from the bathroom sink. He watched me with amusement.

"I'm improvising."

"I like that in a woman."

After placing the daisies in a miniature coffee pot, I thanked him, and we were out the door. Like teenagers, we didn't speak to one another on the way to the lobby. My heart pounded and my nerves were on end. I wanted to talk about everything that had happened in the last few days but didn't know where to start.

"You look nice," he said, as I slid inside V. I didn't reply. We zoomed past the faux Eiffel Tower, and I sighed.

"What?"

"Just thinking about Paris and how I really wanted to go."

"Then let’s go," he said.

I turned my body toward his.

He slightly turned his head and looked at me.

"Are you serious?"

"Why not? I've been meaning to go back for quite some time. There are things I'd love to show you. My parents live in London. It's only a train ride away. I know Luketon is leaving next weekend." He stopped talking because he knew he had brought up a sore subject, Luke.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I don't want to be the Yoko Ono of the family. Do you understand?"

"My brother loves me, Jennifer. He would do anything for me, even if he thinks I'm a raging asshole. I know him. If it were between my happiness and his own, he would put me first. That's his nature. And I told him, you know. I called him this morning. I wanted him to hear what happened from me."

The car seemed frigid, full of ice and coldness, and I felt sick.

"I know. We met today, and it didn't end well. Not how I would have wanted or expected. What did you tell him exactly?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't anticipate him meeting with you. I explained that we consummated our feelings for one another, that I fired you, and what happened between us was a secret. And we are now discovering one another and seeing where it leads. He was supportive."

"Our feelings for one another? What are those exactly?"

"I'm not sure. But it's something."

At least that was the truth. I didn't know what the hell we were or where the hell we were going with one another, but the journey was half the excitement.

A few more turns and we drove into the historic district, then into the driveway of my newly purchased townhome. The low lights leaked through the front windows.

Finnley walked around the car and opened the door for me. He grabbed my hand and led me to the front door, which he unlocked with a key. Beautiful furniture filled the living room, stainless steel appliances in the kitchen, and a large shaggy rug lay across the floor. I gasped. The townhome went from empty to livable in only a few hours.

"You did this for me?"

"Yes. It looks nice doesn't it? My decorator is the best in the biz. Love him."

Nice didn't adequately describe the way the patterns flowed from room to room or how the furniture was arranged to give an inviting feeling. I chuckled knowing that it would not have looked this way if I had gone shopping.

A six-person table with candles and silver trays awaited us.

"We're having dinner here?"

"Why not? I thought it might be a nice way to celebrate your move."

He lifted the lids from the platters: succulent salmon, asparagus, and tetrazzini. I sat down and scooted forward. Finn smiled then dished perfectly arranged portions on to our plates.

"Wow, this looks delicious."

"Yeah? I cooked it myself, so I hope you like it."

"I tend to forget that you're a secret homemaker."

"There are many things you don't know about me, Miss Downs."

"And one day, I hope to learn them all."

He smiled and I chewed. The fish melted in my mouth. A part of me didn't believe that Finnley could cook something so deliciously wonderful, but then again I already knew.

He wiped his lips with a napkin and scooted his plate away; I did the same.

"That was the best fish I've ever eaten. Superb job, Mr. Felton. I think you should have been a chef instead of a CEO."

"I actually think I'm a great boss, and that my many talents shine through while I'm at work." He carried the dishes to the kitchen. Cold water splashed in the sink as he rinsed them and loaded the dishwasher.

"Remember when you said that when I sat at my kitchen table you wanted me to think of you?"

I thought back to the moment when I begged him to fuck me on the cool hard wood at The Elite house. I had pulled him close to me and wrapped my legs around him as his breath danced on my skin. I smiled at the memory.

He smiled, knowing that I remembered, then wiped his hands on a dishtowel and turned toward me. "Now I want you to do the same."

FINNLEY

Seven

I moved toward her like prey. She looked up at me like she had just met her maker, and I reveled in the fact that I made her weak in the knees. Jennifer Downs might be a strong woman, but I knew what I did to her. I was a drug that she couldn't wean herself from, and she was mine.

Her smell urged me to get lost, and her skin begged for my touch. Would her soul reach out to mine and capture me? I knew she was pissed, but after she lost herself with me, she wouldn't be. Regardless of how much she tried to ignore what I said, she couldn't. We were human magnets drawn to one another and being together was nothing less than pure ecstasy.

My lips nibbled up her neck, and she exhaled. I moved her body against the table until her ass pressed into the edge, then I lifted her onto the table, and she ran her hands through my hair.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Mr. Felton?"

I loved the sound of my name on her lips.

"You." I ripped her pants down below her waist then leaned in to kiss her mouth and feel her lips on mine. She panted with satisfaction as I pushed my hardness against her. Not allowing her to be in control, I pushed her back on the table and pinned her arms above her head.

"That's what I've been missing," she said.

"Shut the fuck up. Don't talk."

She begged to be talked to like a dirty little whore and have her ass smacked. Jennifer Downs was a naughty girl.

Continuing to kiss her soft skin, I grabbed the little string of her pink panties with my teeth and inched them down. She sat up and tried to remove my suit jacket and unbutton my shirt. Her hands brushed across my stomach as she fidgeted with the button of my pants. They fell to the floor. I removed my shoes, socks, and jacket and stood in my white boxers and shirt.

"We're going to play a game," I whispered into her mouth, letting the emotion in her kiss transfer to me. Her ass slid off the wooden table, and she stood.

"Okay," she said.

"I'll be right back." I thought she might stop breathing.

I went to her bedroom and saw the amazing job Clint did with the decor. The suitcase I had delivered waited for me on the bed. I pulled out a binding rope and blindfold. Tonight we would have fun the way she dreamed of in her fantasies; to be bound, and taken. A smile crossed my face as I thought of her waiting for me downstairs. I wondered what she was thinking.

Tonight, I would control my emotions and give her the man she begged to have. The man that pissed her off and made her wet. The asshole that I inevitably was.

She stared out the double patio doors and looked up at the starry sky. She turned around, completely naked, and looked at me.

I swallowed.

Her eyes found their way down to the blindfold and rope that I tightly grasped in my fist. A smile crossed her face. She fucking loved it.

"Do you want to play?" I swung the rope, and she smiled.

"Yes, Mr. Felton, I want to fucking play."

Her teeth grazed my chin, and I held back a shudder. She drove me wild.

I positioned her body to easily wrap the rope around her wrists. Not too tight, in case she wanted to be released, but tight enough to keep her bound. Softly my fingers glided up the sides of her arms, and I placed the blindfold over her eyes.

"Now," I whispered. Her breasts rose and fell with every breath. "Get on your knees."

She dropped down on the rug, like a fucking statue so smooth and perfect, with her hands behind her back. I stood there and smiled at the beautiful woman that would do anything I demanded. A want and need so painful crept through my body and I had to have her, but not until she begged for me. Not until she demanded I give myself to her, and she would. I knew Jennifer Downs.

"Do you like being bound?"

She nodded her head. I walked behind her and swept my hand along her back. She swallowed.

"What do you want me to do?"

She sat perfectly still for a few moments, and I was worried that she wouldn't answer.

"I asked you a fucking question. Answer it." I gave her every bit of my asshole attitude that she desired.

"Fuck me. Make me come until my body collapses in on itself."

"Hmm." I stood inches in front of her and looked down at her perky-ass breasts and hard nipples, with her legs tucked underneath her.

"I don’t think you can fucking handle me, Miss Downs."

She smiled, and I did the same. Then I pushed it back because I didn't want her to hear an ounce of satisfaction in my voice. "Oh. You're fucking smiling? You must think you can handle me."

"I know that I can. I've done it once, twice, oh wait, three times before. I know how to please you. I could make you beg if I wanted, Mr. Felton."

I inched my boxers down, but left the shirt on my back. I grazed the tip of my dick across her lips, and she pushed herself up onto her knees and opened her mouth. Jennifer licked every part of me, then forced almost all of me into her mouth working her bound body and changing speeds. I ran my fingers through her hair and wanted to look into her eyes but couldn't because of the blindfold. I teetered on the edge, but wouldn't come yet. I was in control tonight, not her.

"Stand up."

So calm and beautiful, she waited for me to tell her what to do next. My hands roamed down to her waist. I rubbed her clit as I grabbed her ass. She moaned as I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Are you sure you can fucking handle me?"

Her breathing increased, and her legs went weak. I squeezed her ass so hard I thought she might squeal. But she didn't, because she loved a little pain mixed with her pleasure. Her moans increased, and before she came, I removed my hands.

"You'll come when I say, not when you fucking want."

She released a frustrated sigh, but wanted to play. I backed her against the patio doors and pinned her body between the cool glass and me. Her breath caught as the coldness of the door pressed against her body. Not wanting to give her what she desired, I grabbed her nipples between my teeth then added pressure and flicked. Then I kissed my way up her neck until I found her mouth. She moved forward to kiss me, but I pulled away.

Not fucking yet.

Irritation spread across her face. The sexual beast within her wanted free, but I wouldn't allow it. I felt a little evil for teasing the shit out of her, but she deserved it, because every moment I was around her, that was how she made me feel: fucking provoked sexually. I loosened the rope on her wrists, moved her arms from behind her back and placed them in front of her, then rebound her.

"Fucking give it to me," she whispered, with demand in her voice.

"I want you to know how you make me feel. How crazy you make me."

"I know already," she said.

"You have no fucking idea," I whispered in her ear, then trailed my lips along the softness of her neck. She tried to reach for me, but I didn't let her. Instead, I slammed her arms above her head, and crushed my lips against hers. I pulled away wanting to undo the blindfold and look into her eyes, desiring to know her feelings, the ones she refused to speak. But her actions spoke louder than words anyway.

I allowing her tongue to dance with mine then poured my emotions into the kiss. A strong desire for her built inside of me. I needed her, all of her, and I didn't know how much longer I could hold out. Maybe I wasn't in control after all.

Almost as if she had read my mind, Jennifer wrapped her bound arms around the back of my neck, and I lifted her in the air. Her legs found their way around my body, and I inserted my dick into her inch by inch. She panted as I pounded her against the glass door.

"Fuck me harder, Finnley. Harder." She kissed me and bit my neck. "Fucking give me everything you've got. Don't hold back."

I pushed myself even deeper into her, deeper than I thought possible. So deep I thought I felt her heart beating with mine. She moaned so loud that I thought all of Vegas would hear.

"Tomorrow when you're so fucking sore you can barely walk, I want you to remember who made you feel that way." I slammed myself into her, letting go of all my inhibitions, wanting to give it to her exactly how she wanted.

"That's all you've got? Harder," she growled and pulled me closer to her with bound arms. So I did. Firecracker.

I didn't know how much more of me I could give her before I came. When I felt the build, Jennifer moaned and quivered under me, buckling and clenching on my dick. Then I was coming inside of her, giving her every drop of me, panting every second of the way.

She slid her sweaty body from mine, and I bent down so she could unhook her arms from behind my neck. I untied the rope around her wrists and removed the blindfold from her eyes. Brown eyes stared into mine. I smiled as I leaned in and kissed her.

"Told you I could fucking handle you, Mr. Felton. The question is, can you handle me?"

That dirty little mouth turned me on, and I held back a smile as I narrowed my eyes on her. If she kept on, I'd make her think twice about that statement.

"Tell me how much you can handle me after tomorrow, when every inch of your insides reminds you of how hard you were fucked tonight."

"Deal," she said, and stalked to the stairs. "You're coming, right?"

"I already did." Then I followed her up the stairs.

Jennifer Downs made me feel something that I thought had died years ago.

Love.

Eight

I woke up and rolled over in bed hoping to find Finn next to me. A little note rested on the nightstand in his perfect cursive handwriting.

See you after work. Can you handle more of me?

He must have snuck out early this morning and gone home to change. I never heard him leave. The pounding he gave me knocked my ass out.

When I stood, I would have been lying if I said I didn't feel sore. Every bit of me ached, a reminder that he had been there and done that. And oh did he do that. The way he pinned me and fucked me into sweet oblivion. Fantasy complete. Just the thought of his sexiness, and the way his muscles created that lower V, made me want it all over again. Or even the way he fit perfectly inside of me. I enjoyed it when he acted like a complete ass. I didn't want sweet. I didn't want someone to treat me like a porcelain doll and be mushy 24/7. Sweet was appropriate sometimes, but I wanted to be slammed against walls and fucked until I couldn't see. I wanted to be tied, have my ass slapped, and commanded to listen. I responded to it. Hell, my whole body responded to it, begged for more, and Finnley Felton gave it to me. Somehow, he knew exactly what I wanted and needed to be fully satisfied sexually. Finnley touched me in all the right places, inside and out.

God, just thinking about him turned me on. I wanted morning sex, because I was way too horny to handle this today. Once I tasted designer, I really did need more. Finnley Felton would love to be my addiction, but maybe he was already.

I looked at the clock. Eleven. Half the day had passed. I picked up my phone and texted Finn.

Me: What are you doing for lunch?

Finn: No plans.

Me: Want to do me?

Finn: Do you even need to ask?

After fifteen minutes, the doorbell rang. I wasn't used to all of the furniture or things in the house. It felt like a vacation home that I took over. It would take time to get used to the change.

I opened the door. He smiled and loosened his tie. I had nothing to take off. After the removal of his suit jacket, tie, pants, and boxers, Finn lifted me onto the counter and fucked me senseless. I leaned my ass on the edge until it pressed into my body and left marks. Pain was pleasure.

Then he bent me over and took me from behind over the kitchen bar. Running his fingers up my back, he wrapped my hair around his fist and pulled. "Do you like that?"

"When will you learn to shut the fuck up?" I asked.

A hard hand crashed onto my ass cheek. The pain swept through me and brought urgency to a new level.

"I'll shut the fuck up when I feel like it," he said. Then he gave me a reach around and played with my clit. Minutes later, I came again. Panting and sighing, and allowing my heart to beat so fast that I thought it might explode.

"Tell me where you want me to come," he said.

"In my mouth." I dropped to my knees and blinked up at him. I saw the ghost of a smile on his face.

When he inserted himself into my mouth, I tasted my sweetness on him. I pulled him deeper, wanting him to know that I enjoyed him. Finnley wrapped fists of my hair in his hands as he pushed himself deeper into my throat until he came. I loved the taste of him.

"You are so deliciously naughty." His English accent made me want him all over again.

"You're the best lunch I've ever had," I said.

"Isn't that my line?"

Then he dressed in his Burberry suit, black tie, and kissed me on the cheek.

"So did you feel any different today?"

"I feel you every time I move."

"Of course you do," he said, then he was out the door. Shortly after, I heard V zooming down the street.

That was the best fucking quickie I have ever had—actually the first, but the best by far.

I sat on the couch, butt naked, with a stupid grin on my face. Finnley had a way of leaving me wanting more after I already had him. I sighed and closed my eyes as I imagined his lips on my neck, his teeth on my skin, and his bites on my breasts. When I opened my eyes, I glanced toward the patio door and saw ass marks and handprints smeared on the glass. I was not cleaning that anytime soon. I wanted to be able to glance over and remember the moment forever. Might be a little weird when people visited but, then again, I didn't expect company.

The faint sound of music came from upstairs, and I ran to answer my phone.

Breathlessly I answered and heard Lori's soft voice on the other line.

"Lunch today, right?"

"Yeah, give me thirty minutes."

I ran to the shower and stopped when I entered. The separate shower with dark teal tile and the deep tub with jets made my decision hard. Which one would I choose? Shower it was, I would get lost in that bathtub.

At that moment, I realized that Jesse was right. People could actually smell like sex. Finnley was on me, and although I could have basked it in all day, I didn't want everyone else to.

I lifted my arms to wash my hair, and felt the soreness in my whole body. Every inch hurt, even my wrists. Finnley had fucked me like he hated me, and I loved every minute of it. Hard and powerful, but careful and sexy as hell as he positioned me like his personal ragdoll.

I lathered soap and washed everywhere. The warm water relaxed my tense muscles and finally I was clean. After toweling off, I opened the closet that connected the bathroom and master bedroom. Every piece of clothing I owned was arranged by season and color. The dress with ripped buttons hung on the inside of the door on a separate hook. Just a sneaky little reminder of what we had done. I smiled.

I put on a long sleeve Vera Wang sweater with a thick collar, some tights, and heels. Then towel dried my hair, pinned my long bangs on the side, and applied light makeup. As I inspected my outfit in the long mirror, I realized that I looked like I was Finnley's, dressed in the clothes he picked, pretty and petite. It wouldn't be a bad thing if I were.

I grabbed my clutch from the dresser, but before heading out the door, I caught sight of several pieces of paper on the counter with a small pile of confetti.

Applied to the balance due.

I ran my fingers through the shredded paper and saw little routing numbers. As I put the pieces together, I realized it was my check for the townhome. Finnley really took my virginity-taking bill seriously, didn't he?

Behind the note was the title with my name written on it in his beautiful curly handwriting.

Sometimes he could be such a sneaky bastard, and I loved it.

Nine

Before lunch, I stopped by the post office and changed my address. I let out a sigh knowing that my mail would now arrive in Vegas. It was really beginning to feel official and like home.

Lori waited for me, early as always, and the host sat us in our regular booth in the back of the restaurant. When she caught sight of me, Lori smiled, but a little crazily, like she knew something I didn't.

"What?" I asked when we sat down.

"No way."

"What? Seriously!"

"You're glowing. Jennifer Downs is no longer a virgin."

"What are you talking about?"

"You, Jenn. You're different. The way you are carrying yourself. I know you. I can tell."

Sue Mary filled our mix-matched set of champagne glasses with mimosas, and we ordered our normal egg sandwiches with hash browns. The little café reminded me of home and country living, and they could fry eggs that tasted like my mother’s. It had to be all the butter.

As soon as Sue Mary walked way, Lori leaned in.

"Are you going to tell me what's been going on? It seemed too sudden. All of the Girls are talking about how you left Luketon high, dry, and naked at his house on Friday."

"That's not what happened."

"You know how everyone talks, and, well, Jesse has only added fuel to the fire. She's been a little moody lately. That, combined with rumors of you, well, you can only imagine."

"Maybe she's menstruating. You know how she turns into an uber bitch whenever the aunt is in town."

"This is different. It's so bad. She is being anal about everything, so much so that even Finnley stopped staying at the house. Oh God, and don't even get me started on the rules. She has become fucking militant."

The reason he stopped staying there was because of me, but I couldn't tell her that, at least not yet.

"Is that even possible?"

"Bet your ass it is."

We poured the rest of the pitcher in our glasses and sipped.

"So are you going to tell me what really happened, or are you going to pretend Jesse's story is the truth?"

Damn her. I tried to smother a smile, but I wasn't that good at holding my emotions around her. The Elite never taught me to keep the truth from my friends, only from the men I went on dates with.

"You're right. I'm not a virgin anymore, but only me and two other people know that… plus you, so keep it a secret."

"I knew that already, continue." She interlocked her fingers, placed them under her chin, and smiled. "Let me guess. You and Luke made up and went wild and crazy with one another once you left The Elite? He's sexy, Jenn. I wouldn't blame you at all."

My smile faded, and she stopped gushing over Luketon Brand, the nicest guy on the planet. With an incredulous smirk, she glared.

"No fucking way."

I didn't know if she really knew, but judging by her reaction, I had a feeling she did.

"Finnley fucking Felton took your virginity."

Yep, she knew.

My face went red, and I downed my cheap champagne and orange juice mixture. After I composed myself, I smiled.

"I wanted to put out and he wanted to put in. What can I say?"

"You…are…the queen. I'm actually speechless, like I don't even know what to say right now. He has never slept with one of his Girls. Ever. I mean, many of us would love to do that but no one has broken through Finnley's thick ass wall. Oh. My. God."

I bit my lip and smothered my excitement. Lady Luck fucking loved me!

"I have to hear this story from beginning to end, like right now."

Sue Mary refilled our mega strong mimosas when she delivered our food. There was no way in hell I would get out of telling this story before we left. I gently cleared my throat and started from the beginning.

"It happened on Friday night. Luke was about to finalize the deal… like we were in the act, and Finnley busted through the door. He demanded I leave with him."

She gasped. "Like a knight in shining armor?"

"Not quite. More like an asshole there to ruin my night of fun. And I was so pissed, like I wanted to throttle him. He made me leave, and when we got back to the house, no one was home. I sat outside on the patio, then got in the hot tub. Minutes later, he joined me."

"No way."

"Yep. Then I slapped him in the face because I was so angry with him for playing with my emotions and barging in on Luke and me. I cannot tell you the last time I was that pissed."

"You did not slap Felton in the face."

"Yep, and I would do it again. He deserved it. I wasn't his plaything. Oh, and by the way, did you know that he and Luketon are brothers?"

"No fucking way. The accent. How can so much hotness be in one family? Oh my. The way they act toward one another makes sense now." Lori shook her head in disbelief.

"So after I slapped the shit out of him, I took a shower and crawled into bed."

"And he crawled in with you?"

"Not quite. He walked into the room and asked me if I loved Luke."

"Do you?"

"No. I don't think it is love like that. I care for him, but I don't think he could ultimately make me happy. I mean, I imagined at one point that he could. But no."

"It's because he's not Felton."

I hated to admit it, but that was exactly why. If I would have never met Finnley, then I think Luke and I would have had some sort of a chance. But if we were talking about "would haves" then the whole scenario would be different.

"Finnley drives me insane. Sometimes I hate him, but then I find myself still wanting him even after I've had him."

"But that smart ass mouth of his can be so… scratch that, he is total sex on legs even with that mouth and attitude," Lori said.

"I know, right. Well, after I denied my love for Luke, the next thing I knew I was being pinned against a wall. Finn kissed me, and then I was in his room."

"He doesn't allow anyone in there."

"I know."

"So how was it?" She smiled the whole time.

"Magical. Emotional. No words can fully describe it."

"So how big…" Lori stopped talking, and I stretched my hands across the table.

"No fucking way. I don’t believe you."

"I swear. I couldn’t lie about that. Trust me."

"Well no wonder why he can be such an asshole and why women gravitate toward him. That man has the whole package."

We both took small nibbles from our sandwiches.

"Oh, and after all of that, he fired me."

"Wow. Fired for fucking your boss. You are so scandalous, Miss Downs."

"Learned from the best."

"Jesse is so damn wrong. I love knowing this. It's hilarious."

"Please don't tell anyone. It needs to stay private before she tracks me down and threatens to kill me or something."

"Your secret is safe with me. You don't even have to ask," Lori said.

"And that's why I love you."

We finished eating, and she filled me in on the house rumors, the multiple dates she's been juggling, shopping, and her Number One. She continued talking about the new diamond necklace she received, dinner parties, and the upcoming match ceremonies.

"Do you think you and your John will ever be anything more? Do you love him?"

"I enjoy being with him, and the sex is nice, but it's not love Jennifer. What you feel for Felton, that's love. The way your face lights up and the way you glow after being with him, that's real and not everyone feels that. I've been with The Elite for almost a year, and in my world, love doesn't exist. You're lucky, you know. Some people wait their entire life to find someone that makes them feel complete. Looks like Lady Luck is on your side, after all. And well, you won the jackpot with Finn."

"You are always so poetic with your words. It's a nice thought, but I'm not sure it's love."

"Felton would have never fired you if it weren't. He may prohibit love, but he isn't immune to it."

Sue Mary cleared our plates, and we paid our ticket. As always, we left a one hundred dollar tip under our plates and exited. The temperature had dropped, and although it was still in the mid-fifties, it was cold.

"I want to bring you somewhere. I think it's time."

"Where?"

"It's a surprise." She unlocked the BMW. I moved inside and admired the soft leather, the large GPS, and the black interior. Damn I needed a new car.

When Lori pulled into The Fun Store, I blushed.

"You'll be biting your lip before it's all said and done," she said, and got out of the car. Of course I followed her. I had no choice.

We walked past costumes, magazines, and DVDs. Lori led me to the back room where there were colorful toys in all different shapes and sizes: large, extra-large, egg-shaped, flat, and the list went on. The cheesy slogans cracked me up, and I couldn't stop giggling.

"I understand you have Mr. Felton to tease and please you, but sometimes he won't be around. Trust me when I say you'll want one of these."

"Whatever." I tried to be blasé.

"I recommend this one." She spoke quietly so the lady standing behind us couldn't hear. It was purple, small, discrete, and waterproof.

"We can name it Little F for when your man is away, and you can't wait."

There were several different settings, for 'her pleasure' it said, and it wasn't penis shaped.

"Did you know that in the Texas you could be arrested for having more than six of these babies?"

My mouth dropped open. "No fucking way. You're kidding."

"It's the penal code, baby. Couldn't make that shit up," Lori said.

I would have to remember to google that when I got home, although it seemed right. Texas: a state where you could have unlimited guns and still fly the rebel flag, but you couldn't have more than six dildos. Wow.

She took me around the store, and I picked up some fun things, like nipple nibblers, g-spot gel, and naughty nympho cream. I couldn't wait to see the look on Finnley's face when he saw my new purchases. The cashier placed our items in black bags, and we exited the store smiling. We laughed about Jesse and her ridiculousness on the way back to the café.

When we pulled into the parking lot, Lori got out and hugged my neck before we parted ways.

"I'm so happy for you. You deserve it. Just take care of yourself."

I squeezed her and slid inside of the Honda. A deep breath escaped me. It felt nice to tell someone my secrets and be truthful. Lori wouldn't judge me, and I trusted her.

As I sat and stared at the gloomy sky, I couldn't help but think of Abbie. I would eventually have to be the bigger person and call her.

On the way home, the black and pink sign of my favorite lingerie shop caught my attention and I decided I needed an outfit to match my naughty purchases. So, of course, I did what every girl who loved sexy panties did, I pulled into the parking lot. The memory of Finnley pinning me in the back room and telling me we couldn't be together filled my thoughts. He had made me so emotional and broken. At that moment, I felt like I couldn't go on. No person had ever held control over me like that. I smiled because he was so wrong.

The bell on the door tinkled when I entered and an overly enthused new girl greeted me with a grin. She told me her name was Susan, and that Belinda was on vacation, then mentioned all the new deliveries for the week. Apparently, a set of delicious red lace lingerie arrived that was just my size. She returned with a scarlet red garter, tiny panties, and lace bra. I smiled, and she handed the hanger to me. I took in a breath when I entered the dressing room. After taking off my clothes, I put on the lingerie and stared. The bra could have been made out of tissue paper because it added very little support and didn't even provide coverage. Yes, it was completely see through. I turned around. The silk ran up the cheeks of my ass and barely hung on my hips. Finnley would love this.

I slid off the dainty material and placed the panties and bra back on the hanger. When I returned to the front, Susan knew instantly by the satisfaction on my face that I wanted it.

"Anything else that I should try on?"

"That's the latest thing we received in the store that's your size. If you'd like, I can call you whenever we get new items that would fit."

"Seriously? Yes. I would love that." I wrote my number down on a slip of paper and handed it over to her. Susan smiled.

"And how will you be paying for that today?"

"I will actually be charging it to my account. Jennifer Downs."

After a few clicks, she pulled up the account and her eyebrows smashed together. More taps on the keyboard, a long sigh, and poor Susan became completely flustered.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, I can pull up your account, but it says that it's locked and I don't know why. I'm going to keep searching. I'm so sorry. Do you have another method of payment just in case?"

"Sure. No problem."

As I pulled out my credit card, Susan continued to click rapidly through screens.

"It says that you were suspended from using this account as of Monday due to… termination."

"This is embarrassing. It's just a habit to charge things to my business account. But it's no problem." I slid my credit card across the counter, and Susan swiped it. I signed the slip of paper, and she placed my pretty panties into a pink bag. What an awkward situation. How could I have been so stupid? Geez, I hoped the new girl didn't think I was trying to steal or anything, because that wasn't my intention. Needless to say, I wouldn't be back until Belinda returned.

I couldn't get home quick enough. Home. It felt nice to have a place of my own.

Once I pulled into the driveway, my phone rang and I saw a number that I didn't expect to see.

Abbie.

Ten

I dreaded answering the phone and contemplated sending her to voicemail, but the bullet could only be dodged for so long. She was once my best friend, after all, even though what she did was unforgivable. After a small pep talk, I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

The awkward silence dragged on.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Jenn, I'm so sorry. I had to call and apologize to you. It's been eating me alive."

I didn't respond, so she took the opportunity to continue.

"I've missed you. Some really great things have happened in the last few weeks. I made an A on my senior project, and my professor suggested I try to get my master’s degree soon after graduation. You're my best friend, and we can't keep on like this. I don't want to."

"I…I don't think you understand how much you hurt me. You knew that there was something between Finn and I, Abb. Don't act like you didn't."

"I know. Finnley is just…I know that I fucked up, and that I should have never put myself in that situation. He cares about you, and he was vulnerable, and I hate myself for it. I know you shouldn't forgive me and that you probably don't trust me anymore, but—"

With her words, a car roared down the street. I looked over and saw the slick black hood of V sliding into the driveway. I turned my head and looked at Finn. He smiled as he grabbed something from the passenger seat. My eyes never left him. The way he confidently moved amazed me.

He looked at me and mouthed, 'almost done?'

I shrugged my shoulders and focused on the voice on the line.

"I don't trust you. I don’t want to forgive you, and I shouldn't."

"I know."

"I hated you for weeks. The way you acted, it wasn't like a friend and sure as hell not like my best friend. I didn't know who the fuck you were or who you'd become."

She let out a long sigh.

"I'll try to get over it. That's all I can do."

"I can live with that, for now," she said.

Then, as if nothing ever happened, she fell back into her old routine of changing the subject. I thought about mentioning Finnley and my virginity so that she would know he was mine. I never had a need to protect my assets, especially from her, but with Finn in the picture a part of me needed to.

Finnley looked over at me and gestured for me to hurry so I made up an excuse to get off of the phone. I promised to call her soon. But I wouldn't.

"I'm glad we are starting over. I love you, sis."

"Yeah," I said and hung up the phone.

I got out of the car and walked over to V, where Finnley waited impatiently.

"Get in the car."

I didn't have a chance to ask why. "This better be worth my precious time," I said behind a smile.

"If it's not, I will give you your job back at The Elite."

"Oh. This sounds interesting. Deal."

We took a right on Westwind. Almost every house had small retaining walls outlining the property. Then we made a right and pulled into a car dealership.

"I need to stop here and pick up something quickly. Come with?"

We walked over to the side door of the Aston Martin dealership, and in front of the door was a white Aston Martin with a gigantic red bow tied to the roof. I stopped walking, and he placed his hands on my waist and whispered in my ear, "Congratulations on becoming a woman."

I turned around and stared at him. "What. The. Fuck?"

Finnley burst out laughing.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Aren't I always?" He pulled the key from his pocket and held it out in his palm. When I reached for the key, he pulled me in close to him. "You needed this. Don't act like you didn't. Don't you Americans love your holidays? Why not celebrate losing your virginity?"

I took a step back from him and shook my head. "You're absolutely ridiculous."

"Remember what I said when you drove V? Respect her. Treat her nicely. Control her and she will rock your world. This is my gift to you, Little V."

"I've got my own Aston. Wow." I wrapped my arms around Finn. He leaned down and kissed me so soft and sweet that I thought I might completely lose myself in his embrace. I bit his bottom lip while he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Later," he whispered, then grabbed my hand and dragged me to the car.

"Let's take her for a ride, shall we?"

I placed the key in the ignition, and she purred with satisfaction. A smile spread across my face. Finnley's hand found its way to my thigh, and he smiled too.

"Automatic? No stick?" I asked.

"I thought this would be more comfortable for you."

"I just… I can't believe this is mine."

"I'll give you anything in the world if it will make you happy, Miss Downs."

"I'm sorry, where is Finnley Felton? And what have you done with him?"

The smile stuck to my face, and I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming amount of happiness.

"Should I be fucking offended?"

"Much better," I said. Now, that was the Finnley I loved.

The car took corners and handled like I expected her to. The wind, my emotions, and the rumble of the engine carried me down the street. Houses passed by us, and I zipped between cars while I changed lanes. The open freeway called my name. I accelerated to ninety miles per hour, and rolled over mile five. I could have driven this car to Texas and back, but I took the exit and looped back onto the freeway heading toward the dealership.

"I still can't believe you did this for me."

"Why not? The Honda is quite embarrassing. That car is not you."

"And this one is?"

"It's bitchy, fierce, and sexy."

I reached over and interlocked my fingers with his. Finnley's thumb trailed over mine. How could I be so lucky to have him like this, sweet and intimate? It may not be love, but this 'like' I could get used to.

"It all seems like too much."

"Oh, I've deducted the amount from the balance I owe you for fucking your socks off. Actually, I think we're even now."

He gently massaged my neck as we pulled into the dealership. Finnley walked around to the driver's side. I rolled down the window, and he leaned in, bringing his face close to mine.

"You and Little V were made for each other."

"Are we?"

"That's still to be determined."

He took his time tracing my bottom lip with his thumb then turned and walked away. Sometimes I didn't know Finnley, and other times I knew exactly who he was. Sugar and spice, confidence and beauty, all mixed into a single man. He should be illegal.

V pulled out of the drive, and I zoomed past him, allowing him to eat my dust. At the light, I looked over as he revved his engine. Of course he would beat me, he always did.

Once back at the townhouse, I placed my keys on the counter. A few minutes later, Finnley entered. How the hell did I beat him here?

"Did you take the scenic route, or did I drive too fast for you?" I leaned against the kitchen counter and smiled.

"You shouldn't fuck me with your eyes. I've already warned you about that."

"I'm pretty sure I can do whatever I want." I walked toward him, unbuttoned his suit jacket, and loosened his tie. "You are not the boss of me anymore."

He wrapped my hair around his fingers and roughly tugged my head back so that I would look up into his eyes. "I will always be the boss of you, Miss Downs."

I loved it when he called me that. Finn's lips collided with mine, and I reached to unbutton his pants.

He yanked my hair even harder. "I'm not your dildo, Miss Downs."

Sweet satisfaction covered my face as I inhaled.

He loosened his hold on me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "I've got an appointment at the office in the next thirty minutes. Shouldn't be long. Meet me in an hour?"

"I cannot believe you're denying me."

"Sooner or later you'll learn that I do whatever I want, whenever I want."

I crossed my arms and gave him my best 'go to hell' look. What a tease. He adjusted his pants, looked at me with a raised eyebrow, and then drew me closer.

"You look cute when you pout."

"Go to hell."

"Only if you're going with me. I've got someone interested in your car."

"Really?"

"Yeah, drive it to the office so I can park V in the garage when I visit."

"Will do, Sir."

He nibbled on my earlobe, then whispered, "Will you ever stop driving me crazy?"

I pulled away from him, studied his plump bottom lip, and looked into his eyes. "Not happening, ever."

When Finnley kissed me goodbye, I didn't want him to leave. I loved this side of him. His warmth, soft touches, and hands on my waist… I wanted to stay that way with him. But he left me in the kitchen wanting, needing, desperately aching for more of him.

I waited thirty minutes, put the fire engine red lingerie on under my clothes and grabbed the keys to the Honda. Little V called me with her sexy-ass curves and shiny rims. The Aston and I were going to have a good time; I already knew that.

The Honda purred with excitement. Truthfully, there was a lot of sentiment that would be going with the car, like the fact that it was my graduation present from my parents. But it was just a vehicle, and I couldn't keep it forever. Someone else would be happy driving it. It wasn't me, not anymore. The old Jennifer died with my parents. She became nothing more than a memory when I moved to Vegas. I'm not that person anymore. I was the planner who didn't have a plan, and the thought of that was exhilarating.

After waiting in traffic by the Strip, I parked the car in the fire lane by the entrance to The Elite. There was no way Finnley would have me towed, or maybe he would just to fuck with me. He did things like that.

I took one last look at the bubbling tint and the small stain on the floorboard in the backseat, then I sucked in a deep breath, said my silent goodbye, and walked inside of the building.

Mindlessly, I pushed fifteen and made my way to Finn's office. I grinned at the thought of all-business Mr. Felton. While that man still existed, I had discovered and unlocked another part of him.

The secretary wasn't at her circular desk when I passed, so I made my way to the golden plaque with the big curly F's. Before I opened the door, I listened for movement inside. Silence. The goal would be to wait by the window in my bra and panties for his return. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he caught sight of me. Naughty Jennifer would come out and play.

I smiled and opened the door.

Inside, I saw Jesse in front of his desk… topless. Finnley stood with Jesse's open blouse in his fists. When his eyes met mine, his jaw tightened. Then Jesse turned her head and the most sadistically sickening grin covered her face. My breath hitched. I slammed the office door shut and ran to the elevator.

Finnley chased after me, yelled my name and begged me to stop, but I couldn't. It was either fight or flight, and at the moment, I just wanted to get the fuck away from him, Jesse, and the whole fucked up situation. Abbie had been too much to handle, and now this?

Best friend to arch enemy, what the hell?

Eleven

I ran through the lobby to the Honda and struggled to unlock the door. My feelings were in too much of a frenzy, and I couldn't steady my hand. Finnley ran out of the building at a full sprint toward me, yelling.

"Stop, Jennifer. Please." He wasn’t even out of breath and I knew he had taken the stairs.

"I can't keep doing this to myself."

"Please… let me explain," he said.

My heart broke, leaving a heavy pressure on my chest. I was on the verge of losing control of my emotions.

Jesse's laugh reverberated in the streets as she followed behind Finnley. He turned and scowled at her, but kept his attention on me. When he reached out to grab me, I moved away from him. I forced open the car door and stuck the key in the ignition.

"Jennifer." He slammed his hand against the window. I refused to look at him. Instead, I placed the car into drive and sped on. In the rearview mirror, I saw him standing outside of The Elite building, watching me drive away with his hands balled in fists. Emotions fueled me forward. I turned a corner and was on the road to nowhere. I just had to get away.

My phone rang; Felton popped up and I threw it in the seat. I couldn't keep doing this. Did I really accept that the guy I had feelings for sold sex for a living? Would I feel second par forever?

I replayed the facts that I had witnessed. Finn's hands were on Jesse's shirt. He stood in front of her. Did he look like he enjoyed it? Not really. But what were they doing? Why was she smiling so big?

I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Anger filled me, then sadness, then anger again. I should have grabbed Jesse by her hair and forced her out of his office, then beat the shit out of her. But that was assault, and I wasn't a violent person, as much as she made me want to fight.

I pulled over on the side of the road, ran my fingers through my hair, and leaned my head against the steering wheel. Control, I had to find it before I got lost in a mind spin of rage.

My phone rang again. I picked it up, but before I rejected it, I saw that it was Luke. My heart dropped, and for a moment I thought about not answering, but... fuck it. What did I really have to lose?

"Hi," I said with a shaky, small voice.

"Jennifer, I wanted to… wait, is everything okay?"

When I sucked in a breath, my nose burned and I thought the tears would come, but instead I masked my feelings from him.

"No."

"Where are you?"

"I don't know. On the side of the road somewhere."

"Do you need help?"

Silence lingered.

"You can't help me. Everything is fine. Just a little upset."

"Well meet me somewhere. We need to talk."

"I can't, Luke. Really, I need time alone."

"Come to my house. I won't take very much of your time. I promise."

"Alright." I hung up the phone, made a U-turn, and headed toward Luke's house in the Valley. Honestly, I wasn't sure what I would say when I got there. The emptiness in the pit of my stomach swelled. The thoughts of Finn and Jesse sickened me.

When I saw Luke's house in the distance, my nerves went haywire. The last time I saw him, he was running away from me. Now here I was, running to him.

I sat outside for a few minutes and tried to recoup, to swallow it all down. Put on that pretty face and hide the sadness that lurked in the shadows. After I took a deep breath, I looked over and saw Luke walking toward me in loose fitting jeans and a t-shirt with the sleeves shoved to his elbows. Paint splatters covered his hands and shirt. He must have been working.

I stepped out of the car and he drew me into his arms and hugged me. I didn't know if the tears would stay at bay. I knew once they started, they wouldn't stop.

"I'm sorry for treating you the way I did the other day."

I took in his familiar smell of summer, paint, and creativity. He pulled back and searched my face.

"What's wrong? I can tell something isn't right."

I swallowed. "I deserve to be treated badly by you. I'm a horrible person, and I'm sorry."

"You're not. You can't help who you love."

I laughed sarcastically. If he only knew how much that statement rang true. We can't choose who we love, and if we could, I'm sure half the people in America wouldn't get divorced or be in toxic relationships. It isn't easy to stop loving someone, even if they are bad for business.

"You must be cold. Let’s go inside."

Luke put his arm over my shoulder and led me in. Everything was clean and in place except for newspapers and pieces of mail scattered across the bar. He could find inspiration in anything.

"Are you going to tell me now?"

"I went to visit Finnley." I hesitated, then continued. "And when I walked into his office, Jesse was topless. And I was so shocked I left. I just left. I couldn't handle it."

"It hurts when the person you love is with someone else." Now he laughed sarcastically, and I heard the pain in his voice. I closed my eyes and pushed my face into my hands. That's when the tears came. It wasn't always easy to be strong. Sometimes even the strongest bridges collapsed, warships were decommissioned, and armies destroyed. I was no different.

Luke was by my side, forcing me to stand. He placed his arms around me, calmed me, and coaxed me to let it all out. The build of emotions came but I refused to cry over Finn, Luke, my parents, Abbie, and everything that I had bottled up for the past few months. I stood deflated and swallowed it back, again. After I had made a complete and utter puss out of myself, I wiped my watering eyes, and hoped the tears would stay away. I seriously hated the way I looked when I cried. It was something that needed to be done alone. I didn't want pity from anyone, especially Luke.

He lifted my chin and forced me to look into his blue eyes. "I forgive you. I'm leaving tomorrow for Paris, and I wanted you to know that I'm not mad at you. As much as I want to hate you and my brother, I can't."

"You're leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I decided to arrive a week early to get started on that project, and I found a flat that's fully furnished. Might as well get away. There's something that I want to show you before I leave." Then he smiled that boyish grin that overtook his whole face, and I couldn't help but smile back. "Come on." He patted my back, and we were climbing up the stairs.

Starry Night said hello, along with the pictures that Luke had painted of us. The guilt consumed me. The door to his studio was open, and we stepped inside. The canvases were almost in the same exact spot they were when I took my private tour, but there were more sketches along the walls. White sheets and plastic were draped across the floor, with paintbrushes and paint scattered by the eight foot canvas. He stood by his work of art with a huge smile on his face.

Paris. A lighted Eiffel Tower with flecks of snow falling around it filled the space. At the bottom was a couple holding hands, looking up at the masterpiece. The painting looked so realistic that I felt like I was there. I moved closer and admired each stroke of paint, every small fleck of snow, and the realism.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful. You're so talented." We stood shoulder to shoulder staring at it.

"It's got a few imperfections, but for the most part, I'm happy with it."

I turned and looked at him. "Everything has imperfections. I feel like I am standing right there. Seriously, I think it's perfect the way it is."

"I think you're perfect."

I swallowed, and my breath caught in my chest. I tried to focus and get lost within its colors.

"I wish I could see this in real life."

"You do know I've still got your plane ticket." He smiled, and I brushed the hair from my shoulder. I turned and looked at him, but he continued to stare at the painting, holding back a grin. I contemplated the next few words that would come from my mouth.

"I'm going with you."

"What would Finnley say about that?"

"He's not the boss of me, and I would be honored to go with you, Luke. Just as friends, but still, we had plans. I want to travel. I want to see the world. And I need time away to figure out some things in my life."

"I won't stop you from coming because of selfish reasons but dodging your problems won't solve them."

"I'm not dodging anything. I think getting away will do me good, and I can do whatever I want."

"That's true. You're a grown woman and can make your own decisions."

"Wow, today has turned out different than I expected."

"I hope in a good way. Oh, and if you're coming along"—Luke grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles, then looked into my eyes—"better get to packing, yeah?"

Paris: the city of love. Tomorrow, I would be there, walking the streets, drinking the wine, and taking in the scenery that I so desperately wanted to see.

A part of me felt guilty for going, and wondered what Finnley would do or how he would react, but the truth of the matter was I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and with who I wanted. If Finn wanted true control over me, he would give me a title, like his girlfriend. Until that happened, I had no reason to obey his commands.

Luke walked me out and leaned against the doorframe as I walked away. When I turned around to take one last look at him, he smiled, and I returned it.

"Meet me here before four. The flight is early, five o'clock in the morning."

Luketon Brand, the nicest guy in the world, would whisk me away to Paris.

I hoped that I would truly lose myself there.

FINNLEY

Twelve

"Do you have any idea what you've done? What the fuck was that up there, Miss Lakin?"

"Oh, we are going by titles now."

"Yes, we fucking are."

She moved closer to me, so close that I felt her breath on my skin, and it disgusted me. The only woman that I cared about left me standing, begging, yelling for her to stop, but she wasn't having it. Jennifer did what she wanted, regardless of the control I pretended to have over her.

"Mr. Felton, you know exactly what happened up there. I showed you my breasts, and you wanted to grab them."

"I wanted to close your shirt. Stop you from making a complete ass out of yourself, but I was too fucking late."

I grabbed her arm and yanked her inside with me. I wouldn't be the man who made a spectacle in public, not after the scene that just happened. We stood in the lobby, and the security guard stared at the wall with his eyes glazed over. Jesse laughed, ridiculously.

"I love it when you're rough with me, Mr. Felton."

"I'm sorry, have you fallen and hit your fucking head. What has come over you?" I moved an inch closer to her face. Anger built inside of me, raging to an uncontrollable level, but I pushed it down. She pressed her body against mine, and I didn't move. I didn't pull away, as much as her actions appalled me. Leaning in, trying to get as close to my lips as she could, she puckered. When she closed her eyes, I spoke between gritted teeth.

"You are fired. Pack your things immediately and get out."

"Fired? You can't fire me."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want. Security, please follow Miss Lakin to her office, allow her to pack her belongings, then escort her off the premises. Do not allow her back on the property, indefinitely."

He gave a nod, and followed behind Jesse who almost combusted with fury. She ran to me and grabbed my hand, and I jerked it away.

"You can't go on without me. Don't do this. Don't fire me."

"Too fucking late."

Not able to go on without her? I've lost too many people in my life, and she was nothing more than a colleague, an employee, a manager of The Elite.

I turned on my heels, walked through the automatic doors, and tried to soak in the fresh air. My head swam with thoughts of Jennifer and how angry she must be. I know how it looked, and thinking back to that moment infuriated me.

Once inside V, I pulled out my phone and cancelled the appointment with the man who wanted to purchase the Honda. Told him I would give a killer deal, and would need to reschedule. After hanging up, I dialed Jennifer's number. No answer. Fuck!

I drove to her house. She wasn't home. She wasn't answering her phone. Damn it. Vegas was a big city, one large enough for a beautiful woman to get lost in, and I needed to find Jennifer before she did something stupid. I had to apologize to her and let her know what had really happened, not what she assumed.

Jesse did something that was unforgivable, and just the thought of it pissed me off all over again. Who the fuck did she think she was, and what the fuck did she think she was doing? I never gave her a reason to think feelings existed between us. I probably should have squashed the crush thing years ago, but it was harmless. Snowballs usually are until they become avalanches.

Before I started to panic, I got out of V and leaned against the trunk outside of her house. After forty-five solid minutes of waiting, I knew that she wasn't coming home. The best thing would be to leave her alone and give her the space she needed until she was willing to talk. I couldn't live without her, not since I've had her. Jennifer was my fucking drug, and I constantly needed my fix. Just the thought of her brought a smile to my face, but the thought of her hurting, destroyed me.

I called Paisley and let her know that her counterpart was terminated and that she would need to find a replacement as soon as possible. In a few days, we had one of the biggest conferences of the year, and I would need help facilitating it.

"Mr. Felton, may I ask why she was terminated?"

"Sexual harassment."

"With another employee?"

"With me."

She agreed to post the position when she returned to the office.

"Also, can you please have Lori give me a call?"

"Yes, sir."

We hung up, and I headed home. The day had been long, exciting, then somehow took a turn for the worse. What had happened?

When I walked inside, Lori rang, and I answered.

"Lori, I have a small favor to ask of you, please."

"Yes, Mr. Felton. Anything you need."

"Please contact Jennifer Downs and have her call me immediately."

She agreed, and didn't ask any questions. If any of my Girls could get ahold of Jennifer, Lori would be the one. Jennifer and her had a relationship that was more than just being an Elite. They were friends at first sight. Kindred spirits, I supposed.

I kicked off my shoes, loosened my tie, and sat at the table. I needed to hear Jennifer's voice and explain myself. Yes, it's easy to demonize me, make me out to be the giant asshole that I admittedly am. But not this time. Like I said before, I don't like my nose being rubbed in shit, especially over a misunderstanding.

Lori called back and said she left Jennifer a voicemail. If she heard anything, she would let me know.

The waiting game began. I would wait for her forever.

Thirteen

Three o'clock in the morning came early. When I had seen this time last, it wasn't because I was waking, but rather going to sleep. I turned on my phone and had several missed calls. Lori and Finnley just couldn't leave me the fuck alone. I turned my phone back off. I didn't want to talk to anyone, no one, not even Lori.

The crisp air filled my lungs as I packed two weeks’ worth of clothes into the Honda. Although Little V didn't do anything wrong, and I loved her, I couldn't stand the thought of driving that car. I didn't want to think about Finn. I'd rather think about nothing, put up that wall, and continue forward.

Yawn after yawn came, and I stopped by the little coffee shop on the way out and grabbed a mocha for me and a black coffee for Luke, just the way he liked it.

When I rolled up to his house, he opened the garage, and I parked inside. Like a gentleman, Luke helped me load my bags into the trunk of his Volvo.

"Morning," he said, his voice still raspy from waking.

"Morning. I got you a coffee." I handed him the cup, and he wrapped both hands around it.

"And it's still warm. That's what I call service. Thanks." He opened the door for me. The heated seats warmed my body.

"All set?"

I nodded and yawned.

The garage door closed and we were on our way to the airport.

Moonlight barely peeked over the mountainside, and the thought of going away excited me.

"What are you thinking about?" Luke asked.

"Just admiring the scenery. It's not something I am used to seeing yet."

"Yeah, your part of Texas is mostly flat, except for the bridges."

"That's the only downfall I think. But hey, we've got plenty of swampy waters and mosquitos."

We continued with small talk, as if nothing had happened between us. Once at the airport, we unloaded our bags, and made our way through security. I grabbed my passport from the front of my suitcase and then placed it, along with my plane ticket, in my pocket. We had an hour to kill so I leaned back in the plastic chair and closed my eyes. Unable to get comfortable, I rested my head on Luke's shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me.

"Did you ever see Titanic?" I asked.

"James Cameron? Yeah. Who hasn't seen that movie?"

"The end made me cry. I never got enough of the young Leonardo DiCaprio. Like I had such a mega huge crush on him, posters in my bedroom, and I even signed DiCaprio behind my name as practice. I had the whole movie almost memorized verbatim."

Luke laughed. "Really?"

"He was an artist. You know, Jack."

"Yeah. He was."

I looked into Luke's eyes, and he swallowed.

"Would you paint me like that one day? The same setting as Jack and Rose."

His breath tingled on my skin, and my heart pounded in my chest.

"You'll always be my Rose, Jennifer. And if it would make you happy, then yes."

I laid my head back down on his shoulder. Only the armrest separated our bodies.

It was easy and comfortable being with Luke, and at that moment I was the happiest I had been in a while.

Fourteen

Luke patted me awake after I had fallen asleep on him. I would have four hours to rest until the flight connected in New York. We walked through the tunnel, and boarded the plane. The window seat had my name written all over it. Before we took off, all the rules and regulations blared over the loudspeaker. Buckle your seatbelts, blah blah blah, then the plane lifted and soared above the ground. Being above everyday life as it continued down below was an odd feeling. Almost as if I were detached from the real world, viewing it from a bird’s eye, in a sense.

Luke leaned over my body and glanced out. Rusty mountains and desert surrounded us. I moved my body back in the seat and closed my eyes.

"I will never get tired of looking out the window of a plane."

"Me either," I said and looked at Luke.

He leaned back in his seat, pulled out a sketchpad, charcoal, and drew. Positioning his pencil at an angle, he drew dots and small lines that were followed by shading. Then an eye, eyelashes, and eyebrows were formed. With his thumb, he smudged lines, then continued drawing lips and hair. Although my eyelids were heavy, I watched him work. The way he would close his eyes and reopen them, then close them again and reopen them, made me admire him even more for being able to draw from memory. Luke was completely involved in his work, despite the crying baby in the background or the chatter a few seats over, focused entirely on the drawing. He bit his lip and finished the picture with an eraser. Once complete, he looked down at it, then over at me with a grin.

"How's this?" he asked.

The picture was of me sleeping.

"What you're trying to say is you could draw me exactly how Jack drew Rose?"

He laughed. "I could."

"That eraser thing, it's neat."

"It's actually called a blender. Helps smear the charcoal and emphasize the shading."

"How long have you been doing this, drawing and painting?"

"Since I was seven. My mother insisted we find our creative side at an early age, so she enrolled us in art and music classes. I always loved to draw. Painting came before music. Violin. I love it."

"Really? You play the violin?" I couldn't stop thinking about the night that he was going to make me his, and the violinist that played during dinner. Every piece of that night had meant something to him. It was perfectly planned, and I was too stupid to see it.

"You said we. Finnley took classes as well?"

"Oh yeah. He can draw too. He's extremely talented. Better than me, I think. A natural. He can cook, and play the piano. He has many secret talents."

If Luke only knew…

The thought of Finn having that much creativity… just, blew my mind. I couldn't imagine it. But other than that, Finnley was a closed book; a cliffhanger that I would never have the full story of and it frustrated me. But then again, learning about him was half the fun of it all, right?

After repositioning his body, Luke closed the sketchpad. "Did you tell him you were coming with me?"

"Haven't talked to anyone but you since yesterday afternoon."

"He's going to be pissed, you know."

"I know."

The thought of it made me uneasy. When I sucked in a deep breath, Luke grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"When I have a chat with him, I'm going to tell him you confessed your undying love for me and we ran away together to get married in Paris."

I laughed. "Can't wait to hear his reaction. Promise to have him on speaker when you tell him."

Luke let out a yawn. So did I. He stopped the airline attendant and asked for a blanket, and I yawned again. Why were they so contagious? She brought a thin blanket over to us, and he plopped it over our legs. The warmth relaxed me and together we drifted to sleep as we soared through the clouds.

We woke as the plane landed. I knew I had sleepy eyes, and so did he. When we were allowed, we grabbed our carry-on bags and made our way off of the plane. If Vegas had been cold, New York was freezing.

Blankets of white surrounded us, and the snow steadily fell. We grabbed our bags and checked them in for our connecting flight.

A little restaurant beckoned us forward.

"Hungry?"

"Starving," I said.

We walked inside, ordered a few waffles, and more coffee. I needed a gallon of it.

"Are you going to call Finn before we board?" he asked over a hot mug.

"No."

Once we were finished, we made our way to the waiting area where the attendants boarded the plane. In six hours, I would officially be in another country, viewing a different set of bright lights and fast paced atmosphere.

Luke stopped before entering the hangar and finished typing on his phone, then stuck it in his pocket and continued with me. I might be jetlagged, tired, and hungry for a real meal, but I didn't give a shit about any of it. The thoughts of being somewhere else would fuel the flight, and that was enough to keep me going.

FINNLEY

Fifteen

If I didn't hear from her soon, I would have the entire city swept from top to bottom to find Jennifer Downs. The Honda was missing, she was missing, and I had no idea where the hell she had gone. I was so desperate to find her that I even called Abbie. Damn it, I fucking hated doing it, but I had to track her. I turned into a giant pussy overnight, and I was worried. Worried that something terrible had happened to her. How could I not be?

Nothing would lift the feeling of desperation, loneliness, or worry. As I sped down the streets of Vegas, looking for her car, I received a single text from Luke.

Jennifer is with me. Boarding now.

I let out a long sigh of relief. Relief that she hadn't been kidnapped, relief that she didn't lose her fucking mind and pull another one of her ridiculous stunts like the last time I almost lost her. Jennifer fucking Downs had run to my little brother, and of course, he had taken her in. He was always a sucker for damsels in distress.

I smiled at the thought and at how stupid I had been to not contact him first. God, she was so predictable. At least I knew that she was in good hands, and hoped he would keep his hands to himself.

Another piece of me was pissed the fuck off. Why would she run to Luke if he meant nothing to her? She just called him up and ran into his arms. I wouldn't play these games. I wouldn't be left wondering about us, or her and Luke. If my brother were to choose between my happiness and his, he would choose mine. Luketon Brand loved me and would do anything for his big brother. He also knew how I felt about Jennifer, and without a doubt, if it came down to choosing, he would walk away. But would Jennifer?

She was the common denominator, and I couldn’t change her regardless of how much I fucking wanted to. There were times when she would fold for me, but other times when she stood so strong that a nuclear explosion couldn't knock her down. Smart ass, stubborn, and hardheaded—all character traits that described her perfectly. I really had met my match.

After the big conference this weekend, I had planned to surprise Jennifer by taking her to Paris. Fucking Jesse ruined that. I wasn't the dickhead to blame this time. Although it would be better if she hated me, and easier if we just walked away from one another, that wasn't happening. She was mine, I was hers, and no matter what happened, we would work it out. We had to.

I couldn't help but wonder what Luke would tell her. He was terrible at keeping my personal life personal and had a knack for revealing things I didn't want people to know. Undoubtedly, Jennifer would know everything about my childhood leading up to yesterday. Reason number fifteen why I didn't want his ass involved with The Elite. He would make me look like a giant pussy before it was all said and done, and I couldn't have that. I had a hard-ass image to uphold.

The constant nag of distress slowly disappeared and replaced itself with slight anxiety. When I wanted and expected Jennifer to react a certain way, she did the opposite. The unexpected drove me crazy.

Sixteen

It was dark when we arrived in Paris, but the lights below glowed and connected the city. The illuminations acted as veins and seemed to pulsate and purr as I imagined all the people below. We made it to the airport, which looked like something out of a sci-fi movie. A circle building with cement arms extended to the edges of the property, totally Star Trek or something. Or it could a combination of exhaustion and hunger creating those thoughts.

Luke rested his head against the seat until it was time for us to get off the plane. I leaned my head over toward his and he smiled.

"A driver will be waiting to take us to our flat. Shouldn't be much longer."

"Alright, Luketon Brand. I just want to sleep in a bed. Seriously don't even care about food right now."

My back hurt, everything hurt, and I felt numb all over. I expected snow, but got cool air as we walked through the hangar. The lights in the distance twinkled, and I was so relieved to be standing. The ride was worse than driving from Texas to Vegas; talk about turbulence and horrible food. But the Eiffel Tower made it all worth it, and I would suffer that trip a million times more just to see it.

A car waited for us just as Luke promised. We whizzed through the traffic, and I sucked in a deep breath. I scooted toward Luke; he wrapped his arm around me and held me close. I closed my eyes—the ones that were burning and tired from traveling—and almost dozed off. Luke just stared out the window.

"I've missed this place so much." It was like he spoke to me from a faraway place, lost in his memories.

"Oh, sorry. I must have drifted off again."

We sluggishly exited the car, and Luke grabbed my bags.

The building had thick columns and little balconies. Bourbon Street in New Orleans, I swore, had buildings exactly like this. Oh, French, right.

"Do you like it?"

I smiled at him.

"I'll take that as a yes."

The driver handed Luke a set of keys, and we made our way to the front door. A studio apartment was filled with canvases, drawing paper, and a large open space for working. Not to mention, a couch, oversized chair, and a bed in the corner. There were no rooms; the floor plan was open. Well, except for the bathroom.

Luke dropped the bags on the floor and exhaled loudly as he searched around the room. He placed his hands behind his head and stretched.

"Everything I requested is here. I'll have a go at it tomorrow."

He opened the refrigerator, pulled out a piece of cheese for himself, and offered me a slice. I grabbed it and sunk my teeth into the creamiest piece of cheddar in the entire world. So creamy, I couldn't help but be vocal. He laughed.

"Hey don't judge me. This is good," I said.

"Totally not judging."

"Let's get some sleep, yeah?"

"Yeah. So exhausted."

I unzipped my suitcase and went to the bathroom to put on my pajama pants and a shirt that said, "Texas has a bigger thing than yours." It was my favorite, and it was funny, at least I thought so. While I changed, Luke did as well. He wore a plain white shirt and pajama bottoms that hung loosely on his hips. He yawned, ran his fingers through his curly hair then laughed.

"I already said to not judge."

"I'm not. I swear to it."

We stood beside one another as we figured out the sleeping arrangements.

"I'll sleep on the couch," I said.

"No. I will."

"Paper, rock, scissors for it?"

Luke shook his head.

"Alright, flip a coin?"

He shook his head again.

"I'm not winning this argument, am I?"

Then he gave me a nod and a smile. I released a begrudging sigh and crawled under the covers. Luke searched the flat for an extra blanket and grabbed the pillow from the other side of the bed. There was only a thin sheet, but he didn't complain and plopped on the couch.

I lay on my side and had no clue what time it was, but it seemed either late or early. I was thrown off of my schedule and hoped it would fix itself soon because I wanted to enjoy France.

Before I dozed off, I thought of Luke sleeping on that couch, and heard the springs as he twisted on the couch.

"Luke."

No answer.

"Luketon," I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Come on. Come to bed. It's silly. You need a good night’s rest, and I won't take no for an answer."

Silence.

When I rolled over to look at him, he stood beside the bed with his pillow.

"I know there is no arguing with you. You're as bad as Finn."

He plopped the pillow down on the bed and slid under the blankets. I rolled over with my back toward him with a huge smile on my face.

"Goodnight," I said.

"Night."

We both drifted off to the sound of each other’s breathing in the room. I needed to sleep until my body told me it was time to wake.

Completely refreshed, I felt revived when I woke to an empty bed. After looking around, I saw Luke at the little table in front of the balcony sipping coffee with a sketchpad and pencil. He was so involved in his work that I didn't want to interrupt him. Instead, I stumbled to the bathroom with a toothbrush in one hand and clothes in the other. My mouth tasted like I had eaten a cup of nastiness in my sleep. I blamed the cheese.

I pulled my frizzy mess of hair back into a tight bun that would have made any ballerina jealous. I stalked to the kitchen, poured myself a cup of coffee, wished for creamer, and sat at the table in front of Luke.

"Morning," he said.

"Morning."

He laughed. "It's three o'clock in the afternoon. I thought you’d never get up but couldn't find it in my heart to wake you. Seriously, you snore like a princess."

"I do not snore."

"Oh, you do. It's cute, though. Not like a chainsaw."

"Oh, shut it."

I sipped my coffee and hunger set in.

"I got you some croissants. I mean, they aren't bacon donuts, but I thought you would appreciate them."

I reminisced about Texas and that time Luke and I shared. It really was magical in its own way. I learned more about Luketon during that trip than during our time together in Vegas.

He slid a plate of chocolate dipped croissants my way, and my mouth instantly watered.

"I have an appointment at five with my client, then I'm free. Anything you'd like to do?"

"Show me the city the way you wanted me to see it before. That's what I want."

We sipped our coffee in synchronicity as he spoke over the rim of his cup.

"I'm not sure you can handle it, Miss Downs."

"That's not the first time I've been told that."

And truth be known, it wasn't.

Seventeen

The air smelled different, but the way the city spoke to me wasn't the same as the French Quarter. I couldn't quite place it. France streamed a constant hum of old electricity under the streets.

"Have you ever been to New Orleans?" I asked Luke, as I tucked my hands into my pockets and caught up to him.

"No. I haven't. But let me guess… it looks just like this?"

"Uh, yeah. Like, exactly. I can't get over it."

"That's what everyone says. Maybe we can visit one day? I'd love to eat the Cajun food."

"God, yes. Gumbo, etouffee, pistolettes." My mouth watered just thinking about it.

We continued down the street and passed a small bakery. Inside, a man kneaded dough then threw it in the air. A few more blocks and we entered an ancient looking office building. There were large paintings covering the walls, photographs, and sculptures made from steal pipes. It was like the building had dropped from outer art space.

I stood beside Luke. A petite woman with dark hair greeted us, and he responded to her. I opened my mouth to speak, but stopped when I realized that Luke was speaking French, the language of love. Holy shit.

The woman urged us to follow her, and Luke bent down and whispered in my ear, "She wants to take us on a tour."

"You never told me you spoke French," I whispered back.

"There are lots of things I don't say," he said, and grabbed my hand to lead me up the stairs.

Paintings of Paris filled the upper floor. Tons of them, of different sizes and shapes, all renditions of the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame Cathedral, and many other amazing attractions that people traveled from all over the world to see. I was really in Paris, and I listened to Luke speak the language of love so elegantly. The French words rolled off his tongue. He could have whispered anything in my ear, and I would have melted into his palm. Not only was I a sucker for accents; I was a lover of language.

"Jenn, Madam Louise says she loves your shoes," he said.

"Oh, thank you." I blushed.

"Merci, merci," Luke said.

The woman smiled at me, revealing perfectly white teeth, and tipped her head in my direction. Everyone knew what that meant; it was the universal "you're welcome" nod.

After walking through the museum, Madam Louise led us to a small office in the back where Luke signed his contract, and then we were on our way out the door. I couldn't hold back the smile on my face.

"I didn't know you spoke French, seriously, what other secrets do you have?"

"Dad is French and spoke the language, so really, I had no choice," he said.

"So, Finnley can speak French as well?"

Luke raised an eyebrow and nodded his head. I swear, the next time I talked to Finn it would be fifty fucking questions with him. Regardless of how pissed off I was, there were too many things that I needed to know. Or maybe I could ask Luke. Would he tell me?

We walked back to the flat and Luke grabbed a set of keys from the counter. Once outside he clicked the alarm button to find the car.

"Now that business is taken care of, I will show you the city how I know it," he said and cranked the car. The streets were so narrow that at times I closed my eyes, because I didn't think we would fit.

I tried not to focus on his driving but rather at the structures, the columns, and people walking. I wish I had a camera. I laughed and could barely contain my excitement.

In the distance, I caught a glimpse of the steel beams of the tower that had captivated me as a child. I didn't know why I was so addicted to that silly structure; maybe the history, or maybe it was the way it stood strong for over a century. The engineering that went into creating something that was used as an entrance to celebrate the French Revolution fascinated me. Okay, yeah, maybe I was a bit of a nerd when it came to history.

We parked the car in a back alley, and Luke ran around the front to open my door. I got out, looked into his blue eyes and time stood still, if only for a second.

"Shall we?" he said.

I swallowed, trying to pull myself from his trance. Maybe Paris really was the city of love, the city to learn, and the city where I would find new beginnings. Maybe I would start a new life without sex corporations and lose the constant nag that followed me around whenever I was away from Finnley. The sooner I got over him, the sooner we could both move on with our lives. But the truth was I didn't want to.

I pushed the thoughts aside and followed Luke down the sidewalk toward the crowd. I couldn't stop staring as the clouds drifted over the top of the Eiffel Tower. The pavement stretched on and so did the groups of people. When we made it to the base of the structure, a man greeted us with a camera.

"Mademoiselle, Monsieur, image," he said with a Polaroid camera in tow. Luke looked at me, and I looked at him. He placed his arm around my shoulder, and we smiled for the man with the thick French accent.

"No, no, no," the man said, and smooched his lips together making kissing sounds.

"No, no, that's not necessary," Luke said.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. The camera flashed, and I knew he had captured the moment in action. A moment I would treasure forever. As Luke paid the man, I took the picture and fanned it until the shock on Luke's face at my kissing his cheek appeared. I tucked the picture in my pocket as we pushed our way through the crowd of tourists. We stood on the edge of the sidewalk.

"We can go up to the second floor if you want," Luke said.

"Why are there so many people here?"

"It's Paris." He gave me a look. "There are always this many people here. So you've seen the Eiffel. Are you ready to see the city I know?"

"I guess," I said.

Luke grabbed my hand, and we walked down the busy streets of Paris, dodging the cyclists. Flags mounted along the side of the buildings blew in the breeze. The sun was setting, and the streetlights flickered on.

"Some call Paris the city of lights."

I could see why. Everything seemed to glow orange.

We walked for a mile or so. Then we crossed a bridge over the River Seine. I stopped and focused on my surroundings: the small carvings in the bridges, the people smoking and kissing on the side of the river, and the faint music in the background.

"I wish I could see Paris la nuit from your eyes," Luke whispered.

"Huh? I wish you could too," I said.

"Paris by Night. I wish I could see it from fresh eyes. We traveled from London to Paris all the time when I was a kid. You know, I believe Le Bateau Mouche is necessary. You'll adore it."

He pulled me further down the sidewalk until we stood in front of a white cruise boat with open seating. We climbed the stairs to the top and waited for everyone to board. The water was like glass, reflecting all of the surrounding lights.

We moved slowly, but I still couldn't soak in the sights fast enough. We drifted under bridges and passed Notre Dame, the Louvre, and Eiffel Tower.

"Wow, it's all so beautiful," I said.

At this moment, if anyone had observed us, we would have looked like the happiest couple in the world. One that was in love while enjoying the lights of Paris, but we weren't. We were nothing more than friends lost in a moment of time together, enjoying each other's company.

The boat slowed, then stopped, and all the other tourists exited.

"Hungry? I know the perfect place that has the most splendid crème brulee."

"Starving."

We passed waterfalls, cathedrals, half-naked statues, and traveled down deserted back roads until we came upon a well-lit area with traffic, people, and music. In the distance, I heard the bells from Notre Dame ring.

"It's eight o'clock. No need for watches with bells," Luke said.

We continued past the loud bars and restaurants then slipped inside of a small diner. Single candles lined the tables, and soft music played in the background.

"I know this song, 'Somewhere Beyond the Sea', Frank Sinatra," I said.

"Actually, Charles Trenet, La Mer. He wrote it in 1943 on a train from Paris to Narbonne. It's said that he wrote it on toilet paper and recorded the song three years later."

"Really? I had no idea."

"Une chanson d'amour pour vous," Luke whispered.

"That is so damn sexy. What did you say?"

"A love song for you."

I smiled, we exchanged a long glance, then both looked down at our menus.

Luke needed to stop.

I picked out keywords on the menu that looked like the English derivative. After trying too hard, I closed the menu and focused on the candles and the warm glow it cast upon Luke's face. His features were soft. He didn't look over the top of his menu when he spoke.

"What will you be having tonight?" he asked.

"Whatever you're having."

"Are you sure about that?"

I nodded my head.

A waiter arrived and I smiled, but didn't speak as Luke ordered. I watched the words form on his lips accompanied by tongue rolls when he spoke.

Within minutes, the waiter arrived with a bottle of Cabernet, bread, and snails. Yes, fucking snails. I looked down at the appetizer, then back at Luke, who thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

"They are delicious, I promise."

"You're feeding me…snails? How romantic," I said, with just a tad of sarcasm in my tone.

"It's like chocolate, oysters, wine…"

"If I didn't know better, Mr. Brand, I would say you are trying to turn me on with your French, bateau mouches, and double aphrodisiacs."

"I am the aphrodisiac," he whispered.

I almost spit wine everywhere. That was not the response I expected.

Eighteen

Our laughter filled the empty streets as we walked back to the car. We had too much wine, food, and crème brulee.

"I'm turned around. I think it's time we call a taxi," he said.

I walked with my arm around his waist as we stumbled and tried to steady one another. A taxi zipped across the street and screeched to a halt in front of us. Not sure why it was so damn hilarious. The wine had made me overly giddy.

Luke gave the driver directions in French. More narrow streets and close calls, then he paid the bill, and we exited. The world rocked as we stumbled down the sidewalk. The key just wouldn't fit in the door. Damn, we really had drunk way too much.

Once inside the flat, Luke leaned his shoulder against the wall to steady himself, and I did too. All jokes and laughter faded.

"What?" I said.

Luke moved closer without reverting his eyes. Silent words passed between us, and the world seemed to stand still. I sucked in a deep breath ready to interrupt the exchange, but before I could, he leaned over and kissed me. His lips were soft, and I got lost in the moment before I realized what the hell was happening. I forced myself to pull away from him. The taste of berries and smell of alcohol left our mouths. All I could do was stare.

"I can't do this," I whispered.

"I'm sorry. I… I don’t know what came over me."

"No, I'm sorry. I don’t know if I gave the wrong impression or—"

"Jennifer." He swallowed and continued. "I've been wanting to kiss you since the last time I saw you. I've dreamt about exploring your body, laying you down on that bed and making sweet love to you."

"Luke."

"But I love my brother, and you do too."

He placed his lips on my forehead. That was as close as we would ever be. After tonight, I would make a note to keep my distance so as not to give mixed signals.

"I'm an idiot," Luke said. Guilt of what happened washed over him. I walked away from his warmth and from him. I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. My world continued to sway as I closed my eyes.

"I'm definitely an idiot," he said, and slipped under the blanket.

I rolled over and looked at him. "Stop it."

"I'm a masochist. I love being around you, but when I am, it's torture."

"That's messed up."

"You know what I mean." There was a long pause. "But that's the way the cards fell. I know Finnley and you were made for one another. It's obvious."

I just stared at him as he talked. He gave me a side glance and rolled his eyes.

"You can't tell me that when I talk about him it doesn't make your heart skip a beat."

I opened my mouth to say something but he interrupted me. I really didn't want to talk about this.

"I can see it on your face."

"Finnley… is something else. A mystery. An enigma. Someone that I want to figure out like a puzzle. Someone who purposely pushes my buttons to the extreme."

"It's more than that. And it should be, he's a great person. Under his hard-ass persona, he's a huge softie. You'll see. He makes me look like I'm the dick of the family."

"Whatever."

"I swear to it."

"Pffft."

"I could tell you stories that you would never believe. He loves old movies and music. Forrest Gump is one of his favorites. He actually cried when he first saw it."

"It's the music. Everyone cries during that movie."

"Oh, until the age of twelve he slept with his teddy bear. When he met his first wife, he wrote stupid love songs that he played way too loud and even called to tell me how he was the luckiest man on the planet, daily. It was disgusting."

The look on my face must have told Luke everything. How the hell could I compare to that?

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean…"

"It's alright. I know he loved her, a lot. I just wonder if he is really ready to move on and try again or—"

"He is, or he would have never pursued you the way he has. That's why it's so wrong for me to even think about you in any other way than my brother's girlfriend. He has been unhappy for so long that I could never be the one to take that sliver of happiness away."

We both stared up at the ceiling, neither one of us said a word.

"You know, Father wanted to adopt Finnley. Give him his last name since he raised him from the age of two."

"Really? Why didn't he?"

"Because Finn said it wouldn't be right to erase his real dad's name. He is the only Felton left. I think that's why he was so excited to have kids. I can't wait until you meet the brother that I know. If you like him now, you'll fall in love with him. I've heard he's addicting."

Fall in love. Addicting.

I laughed to hide my feelings. Finn clouded my mind, made my body beg for him even though he was a thousand miles away.

"When will you talk to him?"

"Don't know. I need time to focus on me. I haven't done that since my parents' death."

"Understandable."

I yawned, and Luke did too. The wine pulled my eyelids shut. I rolled over on my side, and we lay back to back.

"Goodnight, Jennifer."

"Night," I somehow responded before I completely drifted off to dreamland.

I woke to the sound of eggs sizzling and the smell of bacon. Luke stood in the kitchen wearing cotton pants that loosely hung on his hips. I rolled over and watched him crack eggs, neatly stack bacon, and pour orange juice in tall glasses. He placed his breakfast masterpiece on the little table by the window and walked to the bed to wake me, but I was too busy smiling.

"Please tell me you're not a Susie homemaker too," I said.

"I'm not. But I can cook a mean breakfast."

I rolled out of bed and zombie'd my way to the table. My head hurt, the worst kind of hurt too, wine-hangover hurt. I needed to stop drinking so much. My body hated wine in large quantities.

Luke handed me two aspirin with my orange juice, and I took them graciously.

"We drank way too much," he said, then made our plates.

"Oh God, I know. So happy we didn't do anything stupid."

"Should have," he said.

I rolled my eyes, but I didn't know if he was joking or not.

Someone once told me that a drunk man's truths were a sober man's lies, whatever that means. But I knew that Luke wouldn't do anything out of respect for Finnley. I could strip down naked and beg him to fuck me, and I know for a fact that he would deny me. Might be hard, but he would. I had no doubt about that.

"I know you've officially friend-zoned me," he said.

I took a sip of my orange juice. "You've been friend-zoned for a looooong time, Luke. But that's cute you just realized it."

"You must not be a morning person. Just don't become a little Finn," he said.

I lifted my eyebrows. "I should be saying that to you."

"That's not fair considering he's older than me, and you know, we are brothers."

"Uh-huh." I laughed.

We finished our food, perfect crispy bacon and fluffy eggs, and Luke carried the dishes to the sink.

I stared out the window at the people on the sidewalk below. The noises of the movement from the street below seeped in and all I wanted to do was discover Paris.

"I've got to start my project if I'm to make the deadline."

"Can I go with you… and watch?"

"It's going to be boring. I mean, I'll be at it all day long."

"It's okay, I'll check my email and play online."

I hurried to my suitcase and pulled out a pair of blue jeans and a sweater. Then I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, hair, and was ready to go with my laptop as Luke grabbed his backpack full of pencils and paintbrushes.

Before we left, his phone vibrated on the small table. He walked over, picked it up, then narrowed his eyes as he walked toward me.

"It's for you," he said, as we walked out the door.

"Hello?" I was just a little confused as to who would be calling and why.

"Oh, so you're going to speak with me? What the fuck, Miss Downs? You've refused to answer my calls and you've failed to tell me where you were going. Running away with my brother is un-fucking-acceptable."

I tried to squeeze in a word, but Finnley had nothing but rage in his voice. The anger behind his tone pissed me off.

"You acted like a woman-child leaving. You can be so… ridiculous, and predictably unpredictable."

I tried to cut in again.

"Let. Me. Speak," he said between gritted teeth. "That's the second time you've left me Miss Downs. I won't beg you to stop again, so next time you bugger off, make sure it's the last."

I scoffed. "Don't threaten me."

"I'm not fucking threatening you, Miss Downs. I will neither chase nor beg you, ever again."

"I don't expect you to and oh, I guess we're back to formalities then?"

"You can bet your ass we are, Miss Downs. Especially after your little stunt."

"Stunt? Stunt?"

"Have you fucked my brother yet?"

I yelled as I followed behind Luke down the street. People stared at me as they scurried past. I lowered my voice but made sure to stress every syllable that came out of my mouth. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're an enormous asshole."

"Asshole, bastard, dickhead. Find better words, Miss Downs, those are old hat and overly used."

I grumbled at him, and he hung up the phone. He hung the fucking phone up on me? Ugggggggggh!

As soon as I caught up to Luke, I shoved the phone back in his hand and tried to walk past him. I needed to get my pent up aggression out somehow.

"I assume it went well."

I stopped walking and turned on him. "And you're an asshole for handing me the phone without a damn warning."

"Don't crucify the messenger," he said nonchalantly.

"How long has he known I was with you?"

Luke checked his watch, unamused, and walked past me.

"Did you expect me not to tell him? Finn was worried. I couldn't fly you to Paris and not tell your boyfriend."

"He is not my boyfriend."

"If he were seeing other people, would you be pissed? Do you fuck him when he wants? Does he fuck you when you want? Buy you nice things? Whisper sweet nothings in your ear?"

He waited for an answer. I didn't have one.

"That's what I thought," he said. Luke never raised his voice, got upset, or anything. He was so well controlled while I boiled completely over with anger.

"Funny how you've both inquired about who I'm fucking. He thinks I'm fucking you, and you think I'm fucking him. Who gives a shit? This is not fair."

"What's not fair? The fact that you heard the truth and don't want to accept it, or that I'm right? And by the way, I know you're fucking him. I've never questioned that."

"You are just as impossible as him. Do you know that?"

He laughed at me and kept walking. I wanted to scream and yell out my frustration and pent up aggression. Fucking fuck!

Part of me wanted to find a little Internet café and set up shop there, but regardless of how pissed I was, I genuinely wanted to watch Luke work.

Silent fucking treatment. They would both get it from here on out.

Nineteen

Luke unlocked the door to the studio and waited for me to catch up. When I entered, I sighed loudly, and he mocked me.

"Don't be upset with me. It was the right thing to do."

I glared at him then plopped onto the couch in the studio hallway. Luke whistled for me to follow.

"I've got the back workspace. Come with?"

We walked down a hall with painted cement floors and tall ceilings. A draft swept through and I shivered as he opened the door at the end. Canvas, paint, brushes, a drafting table, and easels lined the walls. I looked over at him and a smile crept across his face. He assessed his supplies, ran his fingers across the drafting table, and dropped his bag to the floor.

While he admired his space, I studied the flower pattern on the chaise lounge in the corner. I gasped and Luke turned to look at me. I lay on the couch with my arm draped in the exact pose as Rose in Titanic.

"Maybe you could draw me like one of your French girls?"

He rolled his eyes. How dare him.

I wondered how many artists had slept there as they worked on their next great masterpiece.

"This is perfect," he said more to himself than to me. Luke was in his own little artist world. It was kind of cute.

I sat up on the chaise and pulled out my laptop, then connected to the Wi-Fi. My email was full of forwards, coupons, and emails from Finn. He warned me that I had not replied to his emails, but Elite emails? I thought I had been removed from the distribution list.

Attention Employees:

Please refer to the handbook, section 7.2 for a refresher on the different variations of harassment. This type of behavior will not be tolerated at The Elite. Also, several jobs have been posted over the course of the last few days. Please visit the portal in the intranet to view the current openings. As always, thank you for your continued hard work.

Kind Regards,

Finnley Felton

Founder & CEO of Elite Corporations

I was a little confused as to why I was still receiving company emails.

I pressed reply.

To Whom It May Concern,

Please remove me from all future correspondence. Much appreciated.

Hope this is the reply you wanted.

-J

A read receipt returned. Finnley had opened the message. I wondered what time it was there. Within a minute, a reply email arrived. I considered leaving it unread.

Consider it done, Miss Downs.

Be careful what you wish for...

-F

I wanted to reply.

I sat there staring at the screen while Luke draped cloth on the floor. My heart raced just thinking about lashing out. Harassment, I wondered what had happened. Must have been something monumental enough for Finnley to send out a corporation-wide email.

I opened a web search bar and typed in "Finnley Felton". I occasionally liked to google stalk him. Several pages had recent updates so I clicked on the top link. He attended a benefit for animals a few days ago and on his arm was a tall blond.

Was that? Holy hell, he had brought Natasha Dragtonsa, U.S. champion tennis player, as his fucking date. I quickly skimmed the article and was directed to another link: Finnley Felton's Fan Page. Dis-fuckin-gusting. The online women practically drooled over his body and money. The comments that were made... well, they made me blush, reading all the naughty things they would do to him. As I suspected, the latest Finn gossip was pinned to the top.

'Finnley Felton is suspected to be dating Natasha. They were chummy at the benefit Wednesday. Will keep you posted.'

I bit my bottom lip and opened an instant message to him. Then jealousy reared its ugly head as I stared at the pictures of them together.

J: What the hell?

The little cursor started moving at the bottom and a miniature mobile phone displayed. He typed on the go.

F: Pardon?

J: Two words. Natasha Dragtonsa.

F: You're ridiculous.

J: YOU ARE!!!!

F: Jealous?

J: Angry.

F: Let me guess. Google? That's cute. Can't get enough of me, can you?

I imagined the look on his face, probably smirking.

F: Jealousy will destroy you if you let it.

J: I need to know where we stand.

F: Don't ruffle your panties. It's not my secret to tell, but she's a lesbian. So STOP googling me. You might find more things you don't like. Woman-child.

J: Ass.

F: If I'm the ass, you're the hole.

I had no response. What does a person say to that?

I slammed the laptop shut and pushed it to the side. Luke turned on some classical music and began working. Pianos and violins filled the room as he dipped his paintbrush in blue-white. Brush stroke after brush stroke and the canvas was covered with different shades of color. He took a step back, moved his hair from his eyes with the back of his hand, and studied the canvas. Then he walked to his next blank slate and dipped a wider paintbrush in black, highlighted with a bit of white, and painted that one too.

I curled up and watched him work.

Luke glanced over his shoulder at me. "Boring isn't it?"

"No. You never told me what the project was for."

"In celebration of the French Revolution. A ceremony will take place in July. The museum contracted me to create different pieces to be presented to the founder."

"Wow. That's amazing and kind of like the story behind the Eiffel Tower."

He smiled. "It's not that amazing."

"Just take a compliment for once."

Splatters of paint covered his hands, and his long sleeves kept slipping down. I walked over, and he stopped painting when I stood beside him.

"Do you need help?" I carefully rolled one sleeve past his elbow. Then I moved to the other side and did the same. My fingers brushed across his skin, and he watched me.

"Thank you," he said, and my fingers lingered long enough for him to look at them then, back at me. I sucked in a deep breath and placed my hands in my pockets. The song changed, and I took that time to change the subject.

"This one reminds me of dancing in college." I removed my flats and pointed my toes.

"I would have loved to watch you dance." Luke pulled me toward him. I held my breath because the way he looked at me was too intense. Friend-zone.

"You're distracting me."

I swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Luke released my hand. "Coffee? There's a café on the corner."

"Sure, I'll go get us some."

"Here's my phone. The museum is in my favorites. Call me if you need anything. You really should have brought your phone with you."

"I know. I didn't want to though."

He handed me a credit card, and I left.

I made my way down the street and took in the architecture of the city.

The coffee shop smelled of cinnamon and sweet bread. The menu was in French, but coffee was a universal language that I knew very well.

The woman smiled at me as I ordered one white and one black coffee. I knew it was my accent. All the French seemed entertained with my Southern drawl.

On the way out, a man bumped into me and caused liquid to drip from the small hole at the top of the cups. Dark eyes stared into mine, and I smiled then apologized to him.

I took my time walking back to the museum, sipping my coffee, and admiring it all. Before I rang the buzzer, Luke's phone vibrated. I dug in my pocket and pulled it out as I pressed the button to be let in.

Finny. He calls him fucking Finny. I answered with a 'What?'

Finn cleared his throat when I answered.

"What are you doing, Miss Downs," he asked, incredulously.

"Is that any of your business?"

"You are my business."

I laughed. "Only if I want to be."

"Keep telling yourself that you're in control, because we both know you aren't. Where is my brother?"

When Luke opened the door I handed him the phone then continued to the studio with our coffees. Luke agreed to call his mother. I walked away not wanting to eavesdrop.

"Mum insists we meet for dinner tonight."

"What? I'm meeting your parents?"

"Seems so."

I had no words. Completely fucking blindsided, again. How do I explain who I am? Oh, hi Mrs. Brand, I'm Jennifer, your younger son paid your older son to have sex with me. Might as well tattoo whore across my forehead. Yeah… no thanks.

"Can I skip?"

"No. She knows you're with me and is expecting you. Little tip, there is no getting out of it once Mum has made up her mind."

"Must run in the family," I mumbled.

"I'll be working for a few more hours. If you want, you can go home and get ready."

I took the hint and packed my things. I knew I distracted him, and my thoughts were scattered into a million little pieces. I wasn't ready to the meet the parents.

Twenty

The walk back to the flat was pleasant, though I couldn't get ahold of myself. Cool air nipped at my skin and a shiver coursed through me. I would soon be meeting the woman who raised Luke and Finn. That alone scared the shit out of me.

Hours, I had only a few hours before we would catch the train.

Fuck, I needed to get a grip.

I threw the suitcase on the bed and shuffled through the clothes I brought. Yes, every girl had a black dress for occasions like this, and luckily, I packed mine. I hung it on the bathroom door and searched for the perfect panties: white lace, elegant and sophisticated in every sense. Underneath my pile of pretty lingerie lay the black pouch. Yes, the one that held little F, as Lori named him. A smile crept across my face as I deviously grabbed it.

Before I flipped my shit, I sat on the edge of the tub and ran the water as hot as it would go. The steam coaxed me calm. The mirror fogged, and I slipped out of my clothes.

Finnley. Hearing his raspy, sexy-ass voice today stirred my emotions. I pulled little F from his suede holster and looked at the purple toy with amazement. Waterproof came highly recommended. But I still couldn't understand what the excitement was about. I had a dildo on legs, and he wanted to fuck all the time. Only problem: he was a thousand miles away, and I was pissed.

I dipped my toes in the tub, and although it was almost too hot to be comfortable, I took it. My skin instantly pinked. I sighed and leaned back. Thoughts of Finn fucking me against the patio door, the look on his face when he handed me the keys to the Aston, the confetti check on the counter…

God, he was a beautiful man—an asshole, but damn, still beautiful.

I turned the vibrator on low and looked at it for a moment before placing it down below.

"Oh, God," I whispered. I sunk deeper in the tub as little F worked his magic on my clit. After minutes, my nipples went hard and every muscle tightened. Before I came, I pulled away and turned off the vibrator. I would tease myself. I wanted it so bad, but I didn't want to come, not yet. My breathing slowed, and I pulled little F from the bottom of the tub and inserted the length into my wetness. I gasped as I turned the vibrator on and moved it in and out slowly.

I held back moans even though I was alone, and picked up the pace. When I was on the brink, I thought of Finnley, and the way he fucked me hard. I couldn't stop imagining his lean muscles and abs that went on for days. With a moan, I allowed myself to let go. The orgasm was so overpowering, I couldn't stop myself from sinking down into the tub. I lay there until the water went cold, and my hands were wrinkled.

Sometimes a B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend) was necessary.

After I recouped, I put little F away, washed my hair, and toweled off. Orgasms really were the best stress reliever. I'd have to remember that the next time my nerves were on edge.

I wrapped the towel around my body, and grabbed the hair dryer from my suitcase. As I held the towel and bent over, the door opened. I went frigid.

"Luke! You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry. We actually need to leave earlier, since we are taking the train."

The way he looked at me, as I stood vulnerable in nothing but a towel, was too much. I turned my gaze from his and walked back into the bathroom.

"Fuck," I yelled when I tried to plug in my hairdryer.

"Are you alright?" Luke said outside of the bathroom door, and all I thought about was little F sitting on the edge of the tub in its carrying case.

"Oh, God. Yes. I'm fine. It's just the plug is different."

I heard him laughing on the other side of the door.

"Wear your hair curly. It's cute that way."

I finished toweling off, and grabbed my dirty clothes, making sure to tuck little F inside of them.

The black dress waited for me.

I looked nice and proper, almost like a nun, but with a pearl necklace. Above all, I needed to make a good impression. A person usually doesn't get the chance to start over. Momma always said to make the first time count. I planned on it.

I walked into the living room and tucked my dirty clothes inside my bag, then slipped on the only pair of heels I brought with me. I leaned in to view the mirror over the television and put in the pearl earrings. My mother gave me this set.

"Don't be nervous, she doesn't bite." Luke adjusted his tie and swept his hair to the side. The waves wouldn't flatten. I supposed messy-fuckable hair ran in the fam.

"If she birthed the two of you, she would have to bite. How can I not be nervous?"

He placed his hand on the small of my back and looked at me in the mirror.

"She doesn’t bite. We did raise hell growing up, but what can you expect with two boys that are two years apart? Finnley and I were inseparable. We experienced everything together. Our first crushes, fast cars, art, music, and trouble."

I smoothed the dress over my legs and tucked my hair behind my ears. Luke put on his shoes and stood with his arms crossed.

"Ready? Mother hates it when people are late."

"Ugh, yes."

We took a cab to the train station, and I tried to focus on my surroundings.

France; it had a distinct smell. The wind blew different, and there was electricity, an old one that hummed through the streets. I was slowly falling in love with the city but how could one not with everything that surrounded them, especially the accents.

After a few hours on the train we arrived in London, where a car waited outside of the station. During the drive, my nervousness grew.

"Stop it," Luke said and placed his hand on my shaking leg.

"Sorry. I'm nervous."

"Don't be. No sense in it."

We took a few turns, traveled up the countryside, and entered an estate that was quite similar to Luke's. It had an ancient feel to it, like it had been there for centuries. The gloom in the sky didn't help my mood. Damn it, I needed to get ahold of myself.

The driver opened the door, and we trekked up the sidewalk. Before Luke turned the doorknob, he gave me a smirk. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"It will be okay. I promise."

I took a deep breath, and we entered.

In the distance, the sound of Moonlight Sonata played, and it added to my anxiety. As I walked into the living area, my heart stopped beating, and I couldn't breathe. With his eyes glued to the piano keys, playing every note so beautifully and elegantly, was a person I didn't expect to see in London.

Finnley fucking Felton.

Twenty-one

As hard as it was to turn my head away from Finn, I did. An older woman and man sat in the living area drinking wine. They stood when we entered. I had officially been thrown from my comfort zone into the lion's den. Luke smiled. His mother kissed him on the cheek, and then he hugged his father.

"Luke! I'm thrilled to see you, son," she said.

Finnley continued to push the keys harder but never lost a beat.

"And who is this beautiful young woman?" his mother asked. She greeted me with a hug like she had known me forever.

"Oh, Mum, this is Jennifer Downs."

"Jennifer. The pleasure is mine. Please, make yourself at home."

"Thank you. It's so nice to meet you," I said.

"Isn't her accent so cute?" His mother smiled and clapped her hands together.

Eyes like Finn’s stared into mine. Her features were elegant and soft like a movie star in a silent film. Luke's father returned and handed me a glass of wine. I thanked him but barely sipped. If I allowed myself to let loose, I would be wasted before dinner.

"I'm so rude. I'm Emma, and this is Franklin. We've heard so much about you."

"Mother, you're going to embarrass her," Finnley said.

I blushed.

After the finale, Finnley turned on the piano bench with a gaze so cold, I could almost feel him. My thoughts clouded, and I reminded myself to breathe, to just fucking breathe, before I completely lost it. I went from seeing him almost every day since he took my V-card, to not seeing him. The emotions that I tried to smother streamed through my body and mixed with my blood.

His smell. His eyes. The fucking smirk on his face. He was intoxicating.

"That was wonderful, Finn. See, all those years of lessons paid off." His mother raised an eyebrow at him.

He smiled while walking toward us. "I admit it, you were right Mum," he said.

"I'm always right," she said to him.

"Of course you are."

I couldn't speak, not with him standing so close to me. Not with his sweet smell controlling me, urging me to move closer to him. Our bodies stood inches apart from one another, and as much as I tried to shut him off, I couldn't. I tried to accomplish the impossible: ignore Finn.

"So you've met Jennifer. She is the woman I've been telling you about, Mum. Luke was so kind to bring her along. She insisted on seeing the city early, and I couldn’t argue with such a pretty face."

God, I loved the rasp in his voice. Stop it.

I darted my eyes between Luke and Finn. They both smiled as they practically lied to their mother's face. I was supposed to meet him here. Ohhh, Luke would so be getting a stern talking to when we left. We'd have a two-hour train ride back to Paris. That would be plenty enough time to exchange a few heated words with him.

"Wanting to see the city without being rushed is understandable. Too many tourists try to visit it all in one week but there's too much. One must stay longer to enjoy the small intricacies that Paris and London have to offer. There are no two places in the world that are better than here. I'm convinced at this point," Emma said.

A small ding echoed from the kitchen. Emma smiled and excused herself. Franklin followed and so did Luke, leaving Finn and me alone in the living room. I crossed my arms and stared at him. He moved closer. I looked into his eyes, and he looked into mine.

"Fancy seeing you here."

"I was thinking the same damn thing," I said.

"Nice outfit," he said raising an eyebrow. "Not what I would have chosen, but it suits you."

I scoffed. "Fuck off, Mr. Felton."

I stood frozen in his presence, and I needed to decide my next move as Mr. Sex-on-legs stalked toward me like a lion in the jungle claiming his next victim.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Miss Downs."

"No." I hesitated. "I wouldn't."

Finnley wrapped his arms around my waist, and I wanted to push him away, but my body responded instantly. I shuddered. Stupid body betrayed my commands again. Damn it.

"You're a horrible fucking liar, Miss Downs," he whispered over my lips. His breath lingered on my skin, causing my heart to race. The thought of his family in the next room caused my nerves to go haywire as his hand trailed up my leg, lifting my skirt just enough for him to feel the lace edges of the panties under my dress.

"Mmm." He slid his fingers under the little string that held them to my thighs and grabbed them in his fist. When he ripped the fabric from my body, a stinging sensation brought me back to reality. The electricity of his ferocity mingled with my want, my need, for him. I was weak as much as I wanted to be strong, and I felt my wall crumbling. He dangled the broken white lace in front of my face, smiled, then tucked it in his pocket. A gleam of satisfaction flashed in his eyes.

"You bastard," I said.

"I've warned you about those names already. Think of something better, Miss Downs. Be fucking original." He grabbed my ass with a hard hand, and I moaned, but not so loud as to be overheard. His lips and teeth traced along my neckline and he pulled skin, causing small spikes of pain to course through me. I forced myself to pull away.

"Mr. Felton, dick hole, stop. You're being disrespectful, and I don't want this."

He laughed. "Dick hole? Wouldn't that be you, Miss Downs? I've found your smart-ass mouth continuously says one thing, but your body says another. So, which is it?"

He grabbed another handful of ass, and I moaned into his chest and squeezed my legs together. When I thought I might fuck him on the rug in his mother's living room while chatter drifted from the kitchen, Finnley moved away from me. He grabbed his wine from the table, moved to the piano, and sipped. I moved my skirt over my bare ass, crossed my arms, and pursed my lips. Sometimes he really was a bastard.

Then that sinister smile overtook his whole body. The one that made my insides tingle with delight. The one that said you're fucking mine and I know it. Finn enjoyed the way my body responded to his slaps, grabs, his dirty fucking words and snarky comments. Control. He had it, even though I tried to tell myself he didn't.

I looked at him and mouthed, 'Stop, or you'll be fucking sorry.'

He slowly shook his head and mouthed back, 'Not a chance.'

The impulse to touch him was too much, but somehow I resisted. I contemplated going to him and fucking him on the piano bench. It had been too long since I had felt Finnley Felton or had his bare skin press against mine. When I made the decision to play his mind fuck, that I would tease him and make him beg for me to stop, a clearing of a throat stopped me in my tracks. We both turned our heads, and Luke stood with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Dinner's ready, join us?" Luke winked at me. I shook my head at him and scowled. Of course, he smiled. I still couldn't believe he was in on this the whole time.

"Shall we?" Finnley said, and slapped my ass before we entered into the dining area. I turned and conjured the best go-to-hell-and-I-hope-I-am-going-with-you look that I could.

Smells of fresh herbs lingered. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I saw all the deliciousness that filled the table.

"Mum always cooks way too much," Luke said.

Finnley pulled a seat from the table for me to sit. Franklin and Emma smiled as Finn sat beside me. They were proud parents and had every right to be. They had raised two very fine men, although at this moment, I wanted to curse out both of them.

We passed around salad, roasted chicken, and vegetables.

"I didn't know you made my favorite," Luke said, as Emma brought out a plate of cookies.

"I know how you and Finnley completely rave over Grandmum’s recipe. Since I have you both home, I thought, why not?"

Finnley gave me a side-glance. I ignored him and cut into my chicken. The flavors filled my mouth, meaty and delicious, and not like anything I had ever tasted.

"So, Jennifer. Won't you tell us a bit about yourself?"

I wiped my mouth with the napkin and made sure not to put my elbows on the table. I felt like I was back in the training room, and I was being asked The Elite questions that I had memorized.

"Oh, sure. I was born in Texas. Graduated from the University of Houston and recently moved to Vegas."

She continued to smile. "And how did you meet my sons?"

Finnley grabbed my leg, and I paused, but then continued.

"Actually, I met Finnley at the Bellagio when I came into town."

"Really? That's interesting. Almost like fate or something."

She had no idea.

"Yeah, sorta. After my parents passed away, I… well, I wanted change."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Emma said.

Then Franklin spoke. "I think all of us here have lost someone we've loved at one point in our life. It seems you met Finnley at the right time."

"So, Texas… is it true what they say? Is everything bigger there?" Emma asked.

I laughed, and everyone else laughed as well.

"If you only knew," I said. "Actually, you should visit one day. There is a beautiful bed and breakfast in my hometown. It's by the Neches River. I lived really close to Louisiana. You should experience the Cajun-French food, and Texas delicacies like gumbo, chicken and dumplins, bacon covered donuts."

I gave Luke a glance, remembering the time we shared. Then Emma looked over at Franklin, and they shared a smile. They were so in love with one another, it was sweet. It kind of reminded me of the way my parents acted.

Luke favored his dad: dark hair, blue eyes, and a strong jaw. They even had the same laugh. Emma loved Franklin tons. I knew once Luke found a partner, their love wouldn't be any different from his parents. Some men are easy to love.

"Thanks so much for dinner. Seriously, it was the best I've ever had," I said to Emma. Everyone stood, and she began clearing the plates from the table.

"Thanks, Lovely. Finn, you better keep her around. I like her," Emma said, as I grabbed the plates from the table and followed her to the kitchen.

"I plan on it," Finnley said.

Of course the bastard did.

"You can set it there," she said. I placed the dishes in the sink, and before I walked out Emma stopped me.

"Jennifer."

"Yes ma'am?"

"I've not seen Finnley act this way in a long while. I know how he can be hard sometimes. But he really is a brilliant man. Take care of him," she said then reached over and gave me a big hug.

Take care of him? His mother should be saying a silent prayer for me, because her son was an animal. Finnley, and taking care of, didn't go together.

I walked back to the dining room, and Luke helped grab more dishes.

"Finn fired Jesse," Luke whispered.

My movements slowed.

"What? For what?" I tilted my head and looked at him.

"For sexual harassment."

"Toward who?"

"Finnley."

I burst into laughter, but swallowed it back when Luke put his finger over his mouth. What were the damn odds of her being fired for sexually harassing Finnley? Fucking hilarious.

"So it really was just incredibly horrible timing?"

"I'd say so. Apparently he was furious beyond belief."

A smile crept across my face. Oh, how I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when he fired her. I imagined the hard look in his eyes and the harsh words he spoke. When it came to business, Finnley was nothing but serious, ruthless, professional, and cold. But Jesse deserved to see that side of him. I wouldn't be surprised if she planned the whole thing, and made sure the timing was perfect in hopes of sabotaging me. When I left that building, jealousy reared its ugly head, accompanied by self-doubt. I trusted Finnley, didn't I? He was faithful to me, wasn't he?

I stifled a laugh. I bet it chapped her ass to know that we had one thing in common: being fired from The Elite. Unfortunately for her, I got the last laugh. Momma always said not to rub things in people’s faces or say 'I told you so' because it wasn't very polite, but at that moment, I wanted to.

Finnley leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed as Luke and I finished clearing the table. I made eye contact with him as he watched me hungrily. After the dishes were cleared and washed, Franklin made coffee for everyone, and we took our conversations to the living room.

Twenty-two

Emma brought a tray of biscuits, or cookies as I call them, to the sitting area where Finnley sat relaxed, reading a magazine, and Luke spoke with his father about his upcoming project. We were each given a saucer with a biscuit, and when I took a bite, I couldn't hold back a smile. I had tasted them before.

"These are delicious," I said, and shifted my eyes toward Finnley.

"It's a secret recipe passed down from my great-great grandmum," Emma said. Luke bit into one, sipped his coffee, and continued to talk with his father.

"I've had them before," I said.

"I don't think so. It's an extremely secret recipe," Emma insisted.

"She's had them," Finnley said and sipped.

Emma set the cup down, interlocked her fingers together, and glared at Finn, almost as if she couldn't believe it.

"Jennifer, they tasted exactly like this?"

I nodded my head. They had, I couldn't lie.

"I thought you said you couldn't get the recipe right," she said to Finn.

"I practiced until they were perfect. Just like yours and grandmum’s."

"Did you find the ingredient you were missing?"

"I did," Finnley replied and set his cup down as well.

"I was over-mixing, trying to stay within the lines, and following the recipe exactly. But I realized that I couldn't do it precisely like the directions. I had to give a little here and there, and mix it until I thought it was done, not a specific time limit or number of mixes. Once I did that… they were perfect." He laughed and smiled with his mother. He loved her so much.

"Very good, Finn. I'm so proud of you and impressed. All it takes is a little love to get it right," Emma said and lifted an eyebrow at me.

My heart pounded in my chest. Seeing Finnley like this, relaxed, talking about recipes and reading magazines, was different. No smart-ass mouth, no dirty words or fancy clothes. Finnley wasn't being uptight, but rather normal. Every piece of my body wanted to run to him and kiss him. He wasn't being Finnley fucking Felton, the most fuckable CEO, but rather his mother and father's son, a brother, and most of all, a man that any woman could fall in love with.

We finished, and before Finn sat down his cup, he looked over at me with a blazing fire in his eyes.

"I've got something to show you," he whispered.

I shot him a confused look.

"My old bedroom. Hasn't changed since the day I left home twelve years ago."

All eyes were on me and I blushed. I had to play the part: the girl he brought home to meet the parents. He stood, and I followed. We climbed the stairs, and he barely waited for me.

When we rounded the corner, he opened the door to the room at the end. Inside were posters of soccer players on the wall and a keyboard in the corner. Finnley sucked in a deep breath and turned on me.

"The way you looked at me downstairs," he said. Then his lips were on mine and he was backing me up against the wall. Every sense and emotion heightened. He threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed me so hard my lips hurt. Want, need, desire, they all overtook me.

I kissed him greedily as I unbuttoned his pants. Every inch of him was excited and wanted me. He tugged my hair toward him, pulled me closer, and forced me to look into his eyes. I was like air, and he couldn't breathe me in fast enough. He pulled my dress up to my waist. Luckily, he'd already removed my panties, or rather put them in his pocket as a good luck charm.

When he inserted himself into me, I gasped. All of him, every inch of him, filled me, and he moaned in my ear as he pushed deeper into me. We couldn't have enough of each other. I needed him so much. We moved with one another, and he became more animalistic and rough with me, and I wanted it. Oh God, I needed it. I swallowed down moans, as my emotions rose and collapsed on themselves like waves at sea.

I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer. Hot breath danced on my skin. I needed more of him as my orgasm teetered on edge, and he whispered dirty things in my ear.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said over my mouth. I smiled at his words.

"I've been thinking about this moment for days," he said.

"I've missed you. I've wanted you so bad since the last time I saw you. I couldn't stop thinking about you," I whispered in his ear.

"Oh God. You fucking drive me crazy. I… need more of you. What are you doing to me?"

I grabbed his hair in my fists. As I came, I released a loud moan. Finnley covered my mouth with his hand and gave me a tender kiss. I thought I might melt into him. Then he came too and leaned his head into the softness of my neck.

"I can never have enough of you," he whispered in my ear.

"Satisfaction guaranteed," I said.

"Isn't that my line, Miss Downs?"

Back to the Miss and Mr.

I lowered my dress, as pure satisfaction washed over me. The lust I craved had temporarily been met. Keyword being temporarily. Our desires had been so strong that neither one of us could resist. Sometimes Finnley said the things I wanted to hear, and they caught me off guard. It really was about the chase, wasn't it?

I couldn't find the words to respond, so I just kissed him. His hands tugged at my waist. He poured out his emotions through his touch. It was magical and overpowering. The feeling was almost suffocating, to know that he really did want me. The man that could have any woman in the world wanted me. Truth was, he had me from hello or rather from 'get the fuck out'.

I moved from the wall and studied the room where young Finn learned to be the man that he was today. My hands glided across the trophies and medals. Finn stood in the corner and watched my every move.

"Am I the first girl you've ever had in your room, Mr. Felton?"

"Oddly enough, yes. You're the first girl I've ever fucked in my parents' house."

I turned around and looked at his wild fuckable hair. Eyes that read my shock like an open book. Finnley wrapped his arms around me and softly murmured, "And it won't be the last."

He pulled away, searched my face, and trailed his lips across my mouth. Sweet breath inebriated me. When I closed my eyes to lean into his kiss, the door creaked open.

"Finnley, what have I told you about leaving the door open with girls in your room?" his mother asked.

He looked at me with unspoken words and then laughed. The thrill of what we had just done encapsulated me.

We broke apart from one another. Finn's hands trailed down my arm, and he interlocked his fingers with mine.

"Sorry." He said it with a sweet innocent smile on his face, knowing that he had fucked me on the wall right next to where his mother stood.

"I've been missing saying that to you. Carry on lovebirds, but not too long. The next train leaves within the hour, and Luke must return tonight."

"Alright, we're coming."

Once his mother left the room I added, "Again?"

"Soon."

We walked down the stairs. Franklin's face was red, and laughter completely overtook his body, so much so that I laughed because he was. Finnley looped his pinky with mine, just a little reminder that he was there. When Luke looked over at us, Finn glazed over and forced back all emotions.

Their burning love for one another made me wish I had a brother or sister. Someone to share my life with: family. Being with his made me miss mine that much more. Sometimes I felt like a ship lost at sea, adrift at night, with no one to rescue me. Though I knew that was ridiculous.

Luke once told me that family was nothing more than the company we kept, and the people we loved, with love being the key word.

Twenty-three

Luketon and Finnley took turns hugging Emma and Franklin, who then hugged me.

"It was so nice to meet y'all," I said.

"You're so cute, Jennifer. You're welcome back at any time," Emma said.

"Take care of her, son. And don't be too much of a bloody arsehole," Franklin said.

Finnley hugged his dad, and Franklin squeezed his shoulders. "I'm serious. If I catch wind of you being you, we will both be on a plane to the states to knock some sense into you. Luketon, make sure of it."

"Alright, alright. Love you, dad, mum," Finn said.

"I'll be back this weekend," Luke said and grabbed his coat, then hugged his mother and father goodbye. We said our final goodbyes and the three of us walked to the car that awaited us. I had the pleasure of sitting in the middle of the two in the backseat. Talk about awkward.

Luke finally spoke. "Told you she wouldn't bite."

"But she could have," I responded, and turned my body slightly toward him and whispered, "and why didn't you warn me that he would be there?"

"Because he told me not to," Luke said.

"Do you always listen to what he says?" I asked.

There was no response, so I continued, "Not warning me was wrong."

Finnley cleared his throat, and when I turned to look at him, I saw his reflection in the window. He smiled. That bastard. I smiled, too.

I crossed my arms and leaned back in the seat.

"You both suck."

Finnley whispered in my ear, "Out of the three of us, I'm positive you're the only one that sucks anything."

He wrapped his arm around me and snuggled in close. I breathed in his smell and soaked in his warmth.

"You're such an asshole for that," I said to him.

"Choose your words wisely, Miss Downs," Finnley said, and Luke laughed.

The car stopped at the train station. Luke slid out, and I followed him without a second glance.

"Why would you do that to me?" I said. He walked toward the boarding platform.

"Because it was necessary. I knew you wouldn't have gone if I would have told you, and you were already nervous enough. The way you two act is annoying sometimes. But you're in love each other, and it's disgustingly obvious. It radiates from you both."

"But–"

"Stop it, Jennifer. Sometimes you're just as hardheaded as him. I know that we will never have anything. And while it's fun to pretend, it's not real."

"Pretend?"

Luke lifted an eyebrow, leaned down, and kissed me on my cheek.

"Yes. What you and my brother have is real. What we have is just a silly one-sided infatuation. Now go to him. He's waited long enough to see you."

I walked after him and grabbed his hand to stop him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being who you are. For loving your brother. For caring for me. You're going to make someone very happy, Luketon."

He ran his fingers through my hair and down my cheek then sucked in a deep breath. "I know."

And that was the second time he walked away. Before he boarded the train, Luke turned and gave one of those sweet smiles he wore so often. "Your things will be waiting for you tomorrow. Don't leave him waiting. Go on," he said, and the door closed. Moments later, I watched as the train sped away into the darkness.

Because you are in love with each other. Love.

The word seemed foreign at times, and like my best friend at others. As much as I like to think I didn't know what love was, I thought about it way too often. If a person's name can draw strong emotions from one's core, or if the sound of their voice makes the heart flutter, that's love. Just the thought of Finnley controlled me, and unlocked places in my heart that I'd never been before.

When I was younger, my mother told me that a person never forgot the first time they fell in love. That it was something that will live even after death. Love was an emotion that was so powerful, so lovely, that even the memory of it could conjure those specific feelings that were felt at a previous time in our lives.

Some people think magic doesn't exist, but as long as love has survived, I'd like to think they were wrong. Love could bring light to a dark room. Love could move mountains. Love made people write silly songs, and sing them at the top of their lungs. Finnley did know what love was. He described it perfectly the night that he melded himself with me.

As much as I wanted to deny it, to run from it and hide, I knew that I had fallen head over heels, stupid-sappy-girl-movie in love with Finnley Felton. I took a moment to stare at the empty station, then walked back to the car that held the man that could roll me around in his palm like putty. The man that I wanted to push away, although it was impossible. The outline of his body called me, and I would go to him, and press my lips against his, and tell him how much I missed him.

The thought of us being together encapsulated me, covered me, and I was nervous and excited all at once. I had never really admitted it to myself, but Luke knew, hell, even his mother and father knew. The only question was, did Finnley?

FINNLEY

Twenty-four

I studied Jennifer as she watched the train in a statuesque manner. The lights faded away but she stood there for a few more moments. I wondered what she was thinking and if I was still the man she dreamed about when she drifted into solitude from the world.

Jennifer Downs had met my fucking parents. Talk about moving the relationship to the next level. But I had planned it for weeks, along with the perfect evening at the vacation home I rented. Everything would be complete with her in my arms, sleeping next to me. I would lay her down, tell her how much I missed her, and kiss that smart-ass mouth until she shut it. She had to know that I needed her and how she made me feel. Jennifer Downs was the only woman that uncovered the man that I hadn't been in years. I would do anything for her.

She turned and stared at me from afar with a smile. God, at that moment I really wished I knew what she was thinking. She walked toward the car and we made eye contact. I wanted to run to her, kiss her, and run my fingers through her hair. But I would wait for her, keep her guessing, wanting, needing more of me. Jennifer liked to play the game of Finnley Felton.

Something clicked inside of me when she was away, and I knew then that I had it bad for her. I was completely and utterly addicted to every piece of her. I still imagined the smell of her skin on mine and the touch of her lips on my neck. Jennifer fucking Downs… the only woman that could pussy-whip me. Me? How did I get into this situation?

I watched her, every movement she made. Jennifer looked so content, like she had just learned a secret. What had Luke said to her before he left?

My insides burned with desire. It would take every piece of me not to just lay her flat in the backseat, but I didn't know the driver and that would be a little awkward. I would wait, but not because I wanted to.

She stalked closer and was only a few feet from the car. In the distance, screeching tires echoed from a vehicle speeding down the road. Moments later it slammed on the brakes behind me. I turned around and looked. Men in black exited the car and ran toward Jennifer.

I couldn't move.

I couldn't speak.

The shock of it all froze me.

They grabbed her.

A blood-curdling scream escaped her. "Finnley! Help me!"

I tried to get out of the car and save her but the driver locked the doors. Fucking child-proof locks kept me inside.

"Go after her," I screamed, and the driver turned around and snarled at me.

"No fucking way," he said.

I reached over the seat and put him in a headlock. I would have choked the fucking life out of him. He opened the door and struggled to get out. When he hit the pavement, I had two choices: go after the fucktard, or go after Jennifer. I would choose her every time.

All of my emotions went haywire. My adrenaline and anger spiked to an uncontrollable level, and I gunned the car forward. Jennifer had been taken.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and called Luke.

"Luke," I said breathlessly.

"What? What's going on?"

"Jennifer. Someone took her at the station."

"What? Where are you now?"

"Call the police. I'm chasing them."

I hung up the phone and searched for the car.

Not now. Not fucking now. This could not be happening.

I had been without her for far too long. Now I was on a wild fucking goose chase for the woman that I needed, for the woman that I couldn't live without.

I sped up through the valleys and headed toward the city.

If I were a kidnapper, where would I go? I went to the heart of the city and searched the back alleyways before the stress of losing her overtook me. For a moment, I thought I had found the men that took her, but when I advanced on the car, a man and his children peered back at me. I knew I looked like a maniac and with each passing hour, I became more desperate.

Frustration seemed to control me. I could barely handle myself, so I got out of the car and beat the shit out of a lamppost. The physical pain evened out my being distraught.

With bloody, stinging knuckles, I reached into my pocket to answer the phone.

"Do you have a description?" Luke was in a panic.

I knew he was worried. As much as he gave his blessing, I knew he still cared for her.

"No. They wore masks. Mum's driver was in on it. I am so fucking angry right now. I… I can't live without her. I can't fucking do this."

"We will find her. There is a search out for her. I called in a favor from a few people in London. We will find her. I promise."

"You did not fucking get them involved," I said. I sucked in a deep breath with hopes to calm myself.

"If anyone can find Jennifer in London, it would be Abbot. You know that. I had no other choice."

I hung up and headed back to Mum’s. She opened the door—worry, fear, and sadness covered her face. I ran into her arms and let her hold me like she did when I was child. Her fingers running through my hair comforted me.

"Look at me. Look at me, Finnley. It's going to be okay. I promise. We will find Jennifer. And don't give me that look. Your father used to look the same when he was upset."

"Mum."

"She will be found. If anyone can find her, your old lot will," my mother said, and lowered her eyes.

"I did not call them. I did not want them involved."

"I know, son, but I think Luke made the right decision. Those men know the trade. Hell, they are the heart of some of the problems in London but I trust they could find anyone in this city."

I squeezed her and tried to hold back my emotions, something that I was good at doing. The negative fucking voice in the back of my head drove me to edge of insanity: most women that were taken were never found.

That night, I stayed at my parents’ house. Exhaustion from flying and the horrible fucking events tired me. I climbed the stairs, lay in my bed, and stared at the white ceiling. The last time I slept in that room was before I left for Columbia.

When I closed my eyes, I could almost smell her.

Hours passed, and I couldn't sleep. Horrific thoughts controlled me.

If they touched her or if they hurt her in any way, I would fucking kill the lot of them.

The last look of raw contentment that covered her entire body haunted me through the night. I would burn the world down searching for her.

Twenty-five

The car smelled like musk and cigarettes, and the stench choked me. The men spoke French¸ and I couldn't understand a damn word they said.

I screamed Finnley's name until my voice went hoarse. The disgusting creatures that pretended to be men stuck a gag in my mouth and slipped a black hood over my head. They jerked my wrists behind my back as I struggled to get away and tied them together tightly with rope. The darkness followed me, and for a moment, I allowed myself to walk into the shadows of the horrible things that poisoned my thoughts. Would I make it out alive, or would they kill me?

More French, a phone call, and the car jolted forward. I had no idea what direction we were going, but before I completely lost it, I calmed myself with the fact that Finnley had seen what happened. He would come for me. He would save me. Wouldn't he? I couldn't panic, not right now, not when I needed to stay focused and calm.

Although I couldn't see, I tried to focus on the faces of the men who weren't wearing masks. Mustaches, dark hair and eyes, they all could have been brothers.

My fears fucking taunted me.

What would they do with me now?

Sell me?

Kill me?

Where were they taking me?

I swallowed around the material in my mouth and counted to ten, trying to stay perfectly still. My lips were dry and hurt, but that was the least of my concerns.

Concentrate.

The night had been perfect. Why did this have to happen?

The man chatted quietly on the phone, and when one said Finnley's name, my heart dropped. Finnley Felton was surrounded by French words, and his name stuck out like a sore thumb. My heart stung with the mention of his name. No, no, no, it was not a random kidnapping; this shit was planned.

The car slammed to a halt, and my body flung forward. A man jerked me from the car, and I stumbled over my feet. His grasp faltered. I tried to pull away from them, to run, but he grabbed the sleeve of my dress with a hard fist, and it ripped.

"Don't fucking think so, sweetheart," the man said in a thick accent that I couldn't place. The smell of liquor and cigarettes melted through the material over my head and bile rose in my throat. Asshole jerked me forward, and I tripped up a flight of stairs. He slammed my body into a hard seat, then buckled me in after he grabbed a handful of my breasts.

With a swift movement, I jerked my knee upward and connected. Fucking bastard. Yeah, I played with boys all of my life and fighting was in my bones. I wouldn't sit there and let him feel me up.

"You bitch." His fist crashed hard into my face, and I saw white, even though I was surrounded by black. No one, not one person, had ever struck me with such power. My face felt like it had shattered, and my breathing increased, causing the anger inside me to build. Although fear existed, rage seemed to fuel me. When I was a child, my mother always said I had my dad's temper. She insisted that I learn to reel it in because I often got lost in it. Over the years, I had learned self-control and to blow off things, but right now, I didn't want to see past the rage. I couldn't. I swore to myself that if I was able to get away, I would seek revenge. The word seemed dirty on my mouth, but I craved it.

The man laughed, and a tapping on hard plastic echoed in the background.

I tried to take myself from my body, pretend that I was somewhere else, anywhere but here. I tried to ignore the pain that pulsed across my face where I had been struck. I searched my happy memories until I landed on Finnley. The thoughts of him would keep me strong.

The man removed the hood, and I let my eyes adjust to the light. When I squinted, the pain spread, but I refused to show weakness. I was on a small plane and several men surrounded me. No women.

He took the material from my mouth, and I looked up at him. If looks could kill, they would all be dead.

"Now be a good little bitch and don't speak."

"Fuck you," I said, and he grabbed my face so hard that I almost whimpered. Almost.

"I was warned about your smart fucking mouth. I kind of like it but not right now."

My cheeks throbbed. I was bruised in more ways than one.

"Raphael. Bring it to me," he said.

Another man handed Dickhead a vile with a clear liquid. He pulled a needle from his pocket, along with a rubber strap.

"Don't you dare," I said between clenched teeth. He grabbed the makeshift gag, and before he placed it in my mouth, I screamed.

Dickhead wrapped the rubber tight around my arm, placed the needle in the vile and pulled the syringe. The liquid filled the inside, then he lifted it toward the light and tapped.

"Be still or you'll be real fucking sorry."

I closed my eyes.

I needed Finn.

I needed Luke's pretty pictures.

I needed every happy moment that I had experienced in the past week to flood me. But most of all, I needed love to hold me, guide me, and to tell me everything would be okay. When I left Texas, I promised that I would tell the people I loved how I felt. One of my biggest regrets was not telling my parents how much I loved them. Now, in a situation like this, I realized that I had done the same fucking thing again. Did Finn know? Did he really know my true feelings? Sure, we fought like cats and dogs, played ridiculous mind games but... my vision swirled.

The needle broke skin. Finnley's smile was all I could think about when the liquid mixed with my blood and tainted my thoughts.

I wanted nothing more than to crawl out of my body, to slip into another place and time, but no such fucking luck. I didn't want to be in my own skin, which seemed to be melting from my body. I itched all over.

Before I lost all inhibitions, I thought I could hear Finn's laugh resonate in the plane, but that was just the demons that visited before everything faded into nothingness.

No one would keep me safe.

I truly was alone, just as we were when we sleep or die.

Twenty-six

I woke in an empty room with a single light blaring down on me. As I came to, the pain of a swollen face accompanied by a horrible headache hit me full force. I tried to remember what had happened.

I tried to shield my eyes, but my arms were tied to the wooden chair I sat on.

I looked down and saw that I wore a slutty bra and panties.

What the hell?

Oh, God. That meant someone had… I couldn't think about it.

The ropes around my wrists caused sharp pains to shoot up my arms and through my back. My neck hurt, and my throat burned. I needed water.

I had been out long enough for dehydration to kick in. I tried to fully open my eyes but couldn't focus. My mind wasn't completely clear.

The room shifted, and I closed my eyes to steady the world.

When I opened my eyes, I saw movement in the corner. A person stood, waiting for me to wake. I tried to focus, to make sure it was real and not a figment of my fucked-up imagination. I licked my lips and tried talking, but couldn't.

I assessed what had happened: dinner with the parents. Cab ride. Oh God, kidnapping. Plane ride. Here.

I swallowed and forced out words. "Where…am…I?"

A broad shouldered man stepped from the shadows with an evil grin on his face.

"You should be worried about where you aren't."

He untied me and yanked me up by my arms. They were sore liked I had been jerked around like a ragdoll. There was no doubt in my mind that I had. I stood, unsteady, but still on my feet. He opened the door and led me down a hallway. I stumbled along the way. We passed rooms of caged women stoned out of their minds, wearing scandalous clothing that was worn to the seams. Some were even ripped in places.

They were whores. Real whores. And when some smiled at me, I saw nothing but gums. If screaming were possible, I would have.

The women reached out to grab me as I passed, and I thought I might fall. I was too lightheaded and kept fading in and out of reality.

"Oh, you got a new one, did you?" one woman screeched.

"She's pretty. Make Daddy a lot of money," her friend cackled.

He continued to drag me to the end of the hall, and slammed the door behind him. More women walked around this new hallway, but in big costumes. Some were completely naked with fake tans and tramp stamps. They all smelled of stale perfume, used to cover up the dirty stench.

We walked through a dressing room full of strippers and prostitutes. For all I knew, they were all prostitutes.

A woman cried in the corner, and others with bright pink cheeks and dark eye shadow consoled her. Then they strapped a rubber around her arm and shot her with liquid. Her face went slack and then filled with a smile. The drugs controlled them, and it sickened me.

"Where are we?" I mumbled. But he ignored me and dragged me up a flight of stairs that led to a stage. Smells of decay and mold hit my nose, as warm flashing spotlights beamed down on me. I stood half naked in the little bra and panties, and the room of people turned and stared.

It couldn't get any worst than this, could it?

I didn't want the answer to that question, because it could always get worse. I knew that as a fact.

I stood in a room full of dirty whistling perverts. My legs went slack, and I almost fell, but my bastard guide picked me up in his arms and carried me to the edge of the stage. He spoke to the crowd, and I only caught bits and pieces of his speech. Frustration covered me because I felt like I was slowly losing myself to whatever that asshole had shot into my arm.

Words like: "virgin," "twenty-two," "stage name: Butterfly Wings," "for sale," caught my attention. Then he walked me over to a cage in the middle of the room, pushed me inside, and locked the door to my own personal prison.

I lay on the ground completely numb and stared into the lights, as women stripped on the stage, and men begged for a taste of me. Bastards crowded around and reached their dirty hands inside to touch me. If my name were Butterfly Wings, they had ripped them completely off. For the first time, I felt helpless and broken.

That unforgettable night in Vegas when I pretended to be a whore to lash out against Finnley, I said dirty fucking things to the people in that club. I knew why Finnley was so upset with me now, because the profession could be dangerous. It had an ugly side to it, and I was in the middle of the cesspool. Reminders of that night stung, as the dirty words that I had once said to strangers were being spat back at me. Lady Luck hated me, and Karma was a bitch.

But what did I do to deserve this?

I couldn't think clearly.

I closed my eyes. I had been taken and brought to a sleazy underground prostitution ring somewhere in Europe.

But the accents. They weren't European. Right?

With all the strength I had, I stood. I grabbed onto a bar that hung from the top of the cage and steadied myself.

"Where am I? Where the hell am I?" I screamed. My throat was raw with pure hatred.

"Dance for us, virgin slut. Give us what we want." A man yelled and threw sweaty dollar bills at me. I couldn't hold my body upright any longer and slumped back to the floor. The shock of it all, and the drugs that swept through my body, were too much.

Virgin slut. Virgin. Vir–

Why did they keep calling me that? Wet dollars stuck to my skin as I lay there contemplating, and trying to calm myself and grasp onto some sort of reality.

I grabbed a fist of money and crumpled it in my fist. U.S. currency. As my vision faded in and out, I made up my mind to be the most uncooperative bitch in this place. Jennifer Downs did what she wanted, when she wanted.

I wasn't sure how much time passed or how many songs played. After several women danced, the perverted men became bored with me and left me to lie on the bottom of the cage like a filthy fucking animal. I would cry if I could muster the emotions to do it, but weak people cried. I wasn't weak or strong, but somewhere in the middle: numb and void of all emotions, other than hatred. But what was the opposite of hate? Love? It couldn't be that simple, could it? Stop it, Jennifer.

Lights flashed across the room and reflected on the floor. Regrets flowed like water down a stream. If I weren't found, having to live this type of life would be a nightmare where death would be the only escape.

I had found my new low and was waist deep in it.

Welcome to your personal dark paradise, I thought.

FINNLEY

Twenty-seven

"I don’t fucking care how much it costs, do it," I yelled into the phone before slamming it on the counter.

Seventy-two hours had passed.

She had been gone for seventy-two, long agonizing hours, and no one knew what was going on. Not even me, and it angered me to an unhealthy level. Private investigators swept London, and I even hired people in Paris. Everyone came up short, which was in-fucking-excusable. The fuse on my patience had been lit, and I was going to blow the fuck up at any moment.

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't recognize who stared back: a man with crazy hair, wild eyes, and scruff. Fucking scruff! I was always clean cut. Always. Impressions were important, and I liked to be ready for the stalkers that lurked behind buildings to take snapshots of me: the most fuckable CEO under the age of 30. Give me a bloody break.

I had no control over my appearance while not knowing if she was okay. Shaving was the least of my fucking worries. I hoped for once she would close her mouth and not talk back, but if I knew Jennifer—an unnerving feeling tugged in the pit of my stomach, and I couldn't quite place it. Statistics say after three days, the odds of finding a missing person decline significantly.

I would drive myself mad thinking about her skin on mine.

Her smile.

Her lips.

The way her hair felt between my fingers.

The last look on her face.

The horror in her voice as she screamed my name.

Earlier, Luke called. I told him to leave and go back to Vegas. He'd finished his project quicker than expected and said he would stay for me, but I told him to leave. A part of him blamed himself for Jennifer's disappearance but for no reason. Luke did the best he could, and there was nothing more that could be done. Abbot and his men were on the prowl. If anyone could find Jennifer, it would be them. The men that were born to fight and steal, and would do anything for money. They were loyal to Luke and I because we ran with them when we were younger. Actually, we ran them.

I knew that whatever I did in life, I would be leading. Never been much of a fucking follower. Being in control of situations was what made me tick. Give me a challenge and I will accept and conquer. But at this moment, I would follow anyone who would lead me to Jennifer.

Mark my words, if they touched or hurt her in any way, whoever was responsible will wish they hadn't. Love made people do ridiculous things. With love, I would destroy the world with my bare hands and make it my bitch. Destruction raged dangerously inside of me.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I stared out the window and watched the people scurry on the sidewalks. My hand wavered. Control slowly slipped through my fingers.

My phone buzzed on the counter. I picked it up.

"Felton speaking."

"Abbot."

The silenced droned on.

Abbot didn't play well with others, but what could be expected from the man that ran the underworld of London. He was the sub-culture and so were all the men that ran in his pack. Although he was one of the most frightening gang leaders on this side of the Atlantic, he didn't faze me. I beat his ass when we were teenagers, and we both knew that I could and would do it again, especially in my current state.

We bled together. We fought together. We laughed together.

Nothing could take that camaraderie away, not even a fucking ocean or time.

"I've found your driver. Shall I slit his fucking throat?"

I heard muffled screams in the background, and an evil smile crept across my face. Abbot's weapons of choice were really sharp knifes, and I was certain the point of his favorite one rested on the driver’s throat. Abbot could find anyone if I asked, but nothing came without a price. I didn't pay monetarily. The cost was merging my current life with my past, something I never intended on doing.

"I'll be there."

"I'd like to kill him where he sits, filthy piece of shit," he said to the man as if I weren’t on the line then hung up the phone.

I grabbed the keys to the Mercedes and traveled to a warehouse on the east side. I parked in the back and composed myself. I hadn't seen some of the people inside since I left for Columbia. What a fucking reunion.

Abbot wasn't stupid enough to conduct business in the open warehouse but rather preferred the basement. I walked to the corner of the room and found the inconspicuous door that led to the stairs below. I clenched my hands into fists and tried to get ahold of myself. I wanted to beat the stupid fuck senseless, but I had a goal: to find out who he worked for and where they took the woman who stole my heart. When she was taken, they subsequently took away the last ounce of love I had left. If something happened to her, I would swear off all emotions for the rest of my fucking life. I'd take it as a sign that I wasn't meant for love, that maybe life had a different path for me. I hoped it wasn't a vicious one.

When I entered, Abbot put the knife to the bottom of the man's chin until drops of blood dripped on the floor. Then he smiled, stood, and greeted me with a hug.

"Welcome home, brother. Sorry the circumstances are fucked." Abbot kicked the driver in the side, causing him to double over. A small part of me felt sorry for the man, and the other piece, the one that was slowly becoming numb to emotion, didn't give two shits.

Jerking a handful of hair in his fist, Abbot moved the man's head and leaned into his ear.

"Now. You can either answer the questions you'll be asked, or you can fucking die. Simple, really. I'd really like to add another mark to my wall, so don’t test me."

The scary thing was, Abbot wasn't kidding. He placed the knife under the cloth that was wrapped around the man's mouth, and nicked his cheek but left the blindfold on. I couldn't be seen or noticed by anyone. I needed to stay completely anonymous. This face was one everyone seemed to recognize these days.

I watched the blood stream down the man's face, then cleared my throat and spoke.

"Who are you working with?"

"I'm not sure." His voice was raspy, and he was struggling to speak.

"Give him some fucking water. Jesus," I said.

"Pieces of shit aren't given the special treatment. He can drink water if he makes it out alive. Gotta give the fuck something to look forward to," Abbot said.

I exhaled deeply.

It wasn't worth arguing about right now.

I shook my head at him, and he smiled, of course.

"Do you know where they were taking her?" I asked.

"No. The man that hired me knew she would be in London, and I was to make sure she was at the train station that night. I don't know how he knew she would be at your parents’ house. I had to send a text when we left. I didn't ask questions. I did as instructed."

"You said a man. Who?"

"He calls himself Jester. I don't fucking know anything else," the driver said.

"Watch it," Abbot interrupted.

"I know they were bringing her to the airport. That's it. I don’t know anything else. I swear on my life," he said.

"The airport? Which airport?"

"Don't know. They were adamant about getting her there in time. Something about a plane leaving for the states."

"Fuck," I yelled. "The fucking states? This isn't a random kidnapping."

Abbot squeezed my shoulder. "Told you she wasn't here. I would have found her by now. I know all the slave runners, kidnappers, all those filthy fucks."

I moved his hand from my shoulder and shot him a look.

"I know that look. Don't go dark on me, F. If anyone will find her, I know you will," Abbot said.

"Don't kill him, but keep watch. I may need him later," I said. Before I walked up the stairs, I turned around and gave Abbot a nod. He knew it was my thank you.

"Come visit me if you get bored. Might need your help," I said then climbed the steps two at a time.

"Might take you up on that. Like to get my hands on a semi-automatic," he said, and the men around the room all smiled. Bastards love their knifes, but guns, oh God. They'd be even more deadly with those, but I knew they had them. Guns were easy to find on the black market.

Once inside the car I called Mum, Luke, and let them know I was taking a private plane back to Vegas as soon as possible. She wasn't here, but no matter where she was, I would find her.

She had better be alive and well, and no one better have fucked her. Jennifer Downs was mine, claimed, and if anyone ruined what was mine, I would end their life.

Twenty-eight

Time was elastic, a rubber band that stretched and would eventually snap. I hoped.

The minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days, and I had no idea how long I'd been in the pits of my own personal hell, surrounded by whores. My bastard, the man that brought me food and clean clothes, slowly grew on me. He never spoke, but seemed to care if I ate and had clean clothes, even though they were barely anything. Maybe it was my mind fucking with me, or he was protecting me in some weird-ass way, but my thoughts seemed to betray me lately. I wondered if anyone was searching for me, or if I would be found. The look on Finnley's face as I screamed his name… nightmarish.

The droning music, while it could have driven someone else crazy, became nothing more than nuance for me. A torture tactic used to drive people insane by playing the same song over and over again until they couldn't stand it anymore, didn't seem to work on me. My attitude about everything became bring it bitch.

After a few days of lashing out against my bastard, I was deemed unfit to be around others. I asked too many questions but never received any answers. I couldn't be trusted to play nice so I was secluded to a room with a dirty mattress and a bathroom. My keeper would let me out of the confines of the filthy walls once a day to stand in the cage in the middle of the room where the men of the underground sex trade ran rampant. They talked about taking my virginity. Why the fuck did they think I was a virgin? Oh wait, because Finnley lied to everyone. Only three people knew I was no longer a virgin. I supposed I was the last virgin left in Vegas, or so they thought, so everyone wanted me.

I hoped the rest of my days wouldn't be the same as the others. To ensure that didn't happen, I began saying whatever I wanted, which caused my bastard to bind my mouth before throwing me in the cage. Apparently, I said things that pissed people off. Who knew? The more they silenced me, the angrier I became, until I was hollow and robotic. I was a little automaton dressed in sleazy clothes.

The door clicked open, and I sat on the bed staring at my feet. I no longer felt the need to look at my bastard. He did the same thing every day. Put the tray on the table and walked out of the room. When the man didn't leave, I looked up at him, and realized it wasn't the same guy.

He snarled at me, and something about him seemed familiar. I recognized him.

"You. I know you."

"You don't know me, bitch."

I thought back, and after a few moments, it came to me.

"Yes, you're the..." Oh God, no. "You're the taxi driver."

I was two notches away from a nervous breakdown. My adrenaline spiked.

"One of the reasons I was late to Simon & Fitch," I mumbled.

I didn't notice the other man in the corner until he laughed. I zeroed in on him.

"And you. The guy at the club. You almost killed me."

"You think you're so smart? You've got it all figured out, Jennifer?"

The smell of musty cigarettes and liquor emanated from him. He knew my name. He knew me. Cab driver walked toward me, pushed me back on the bed, and I struggled to get out of his grasp. Then all of his body weight was on top of me, holding me down, while asshole guy inserted a needle into my arm. My world spun, and I drifted in and out of realities. I knew these men, and they knew me. Nothing was a coincidence. My eyes fluttered. I tried to focus as everything settled and unsettled.

After minutes, I no longer had the strength or energy to fight them or to even speak. I was in my body, but no longer in control of it. They sat me upright on the bed and both looked up and down my body, then laughed at me.

"Not so fucking smart mouthed now are you?"

I yelled for them to stop, to shut the hell up, to leave me alone, but nothing came out. I no longer had control and could barely comprehend the situation.

"We ought to fuck you right here. Show you what a real dick feels like, since you're such a whore, but we couldn't do that, could we?" the cab driver asked. "I think it's time you meet your fucking maker," he continued.

Minutes passed, then the men leaned against the wall and waited. The numbness in my mouth gave just a little, and I barely licked my lips. When the door opened, all I saw were blue eyes staring into mine. I tried to move my arms and legs, anything, but I couldn't.

No. No. No, this cannot be happening.

Luke walked near me, leaned over my body, and whispered in my ear, "Surprise."

The numbing feeling I'd been experiencing since I had been there completely overtook me. I was losing myself and nothing seemed real anymore. Luke, one of the only men I trusted, did this to me?

When he pulled away from me, he looked me in the eyes and smiled.

"I hate you," I choked out.

But he continued to smile, a look that I had once held so much adoration for, now held none of that. It was now tainted.

He said so softly, "one day you'll regret that you said that."

"When Finnley finds out—"

He raised his arms and mocked me. "When Finnley finds out, oh when fucking Finnley finds out." He cut his smile off instantly. "How does the saying go? Blood is thicker than water? Or in your case, thicker than a whore."

The two scoundrels in the room chuckled and heat rushed to my face. Luke grabbed my cheeks hard and forced me to look at him.

"He doesn't give a shit about you. He never did."

My heart hurt. I pulled back from the situation and brought my mind to the dark place that I hated to visit. The one that replayed my parents’ funeral, the reckless girl in the hospital, and my anger built. He held my cheeks so hard in his grasp that they throbbed when he let go.

The cab driver placed a set of keys in Luke's palm.

"To her room, since you've paid for the bitch."

I moved my eyes between them and tried to comprehend what was going on. The other punk continued to lean against the wall and watch me. I shot him the most hateful looks I could conjure up without being in full control of my body.

"You'll be saying 'fuck you' with your eyes when he's fucking you. Making you his bitch. Taking your virginity away." He pointed toward Luke, who stood confidently cool and comfortable. But I didn't understand. Luke knew I wasn't a virgin anymore. Didn't he? Yes, he fucking did.

"You do owe me a good fuck, don't you," Luke said before he exited the room with his minions behind him.

I sat and stared at the wall, unable to move, and then closed my eyes. Luke, sweet innocent loving Luke, was not the man I expected him to be. My entire reality had changed with one look into those blue eyes.

The next morning, I woke to the sound of the door closing. My bastard placed a set of black lingerie, high heels, and thigh-highs on the table with the tray of mystery mush. The same routine continued. Wake, eat bland food, and dress in the clothes he brought. Then I'd be bound and led to the cage as naked women danced on stage. I stared at him with emptiness in my eyes.

Everything that I thought I knew was wrong. Everything.

"Take a shower before you dress," he said before he left the room. Just the same as always, I wasn't allowed a moment to respond. That was the most he had ever directly spoken to me. His voice was deep, but not demanding, and I knew he shouldn't be crossed. A dangerous look camped in his eyes, and I didn't want to find out what he was capable of. I did as I was told.

When I turned on the faucet, sludge dripped from it, until it finally ran clear. After I rinsed my body with the soap that dried my skin, I stood with a towel wrapped around me and looked at the little pile of fabric while contemplating my next move.

I wanted to rebel.

I resisted dressing once, and my bastard stripped me of my clothes and left me naked for a day. I learned my lesson and knew then that I had no choice. It was obey orders or be left with nothing. I would dress, but did so grudgingly.

The fit was familiar, and I knew they had come from my favorite shop in the heart of Vegas. As much as I loved the lingerie, I couldn't help but resent wearing it. The pieces were slowly starting to fit together. I knew for a fact that I was no longer in Europe. The motherfuckers had flown me back to the good ol’ U.S. of A. Did Finnley know that I wasn't in London? Was he still searching abroad, or had he given up on me? Did he know his brother had planned this? Luke brought me to Paris, built up a level of confidence with me, then had his people capture me at that moment when I would go to Finnley. The planning it must have taken to accomplish this with one ultimate goal in mind: fuck me without his brother getting in the way.

But all the jagged pieces didn't completely fit together. Which part did I miss? Luke could have fucked me in Paris that night when we drank too much, but he didn't. Was it a part of his plan because he knew the end result of it all?

I hated him.

I fucking despised him with every bone in my body.

Luke told me to go to Finn, to be with him, secretly knowing that I wouldn't make it back to the car, that I would never see his brother again. I was thinking too much, calculating every move it must have taken, and I needed to stop.

For once, I hated the pretty panties and bra that seemed as if they were made for whoever wore them. I put on the thigh-highs but left the heels on the table until I was forced to wear them. I would be forced, no doubt about it in my mind.

The time ticked on, and I closed my eyes hoping it was all a horrible nightmare, but I knew better. What I lived was my new reality.

When the door opened, I wished I wouldn't have looked.

"Stand up," Luke demanded.

I rolled my eyes at him, which only caused him to storm toward me and jerk me by my arm.

"When I tell you to do something, you fucking do it," he said. The minions entered. Luke snarled and demanded them with a snap. Over his shoulder, he said, "Bring me the shoes." Cab driver grabbed the heels and shoved them at me. Luke watched me as I dropped them on the floor and took my sweet time slipping them on. I stood eye level to him with the heels on, but refused to look into his eyes. I couldn't stand them anymore.

"Get on your knees."

I looked at him as if he was joking, but his stature didn't waver.

"Now."

I hesitated, and he ran his fingers through my hair, grabbed a fistful, and forced my ear close to his mouth. His warm breath hit my skin as he whispered, "Don't make me fucking hurt you." His grasp tightened on my hair, and I dropped down. My knees hit the hard concrete, and I winced.

"Hands behind your back."

I sucked in a deep breath and did as he said. He would have to force me every step of the way. Luke stepped back and spoke with his back toward me.

"Each time I enter this room, I want you down on your fucking knees."

He looked at the minions and demanded them out. Then he coolly pulled a chair up and sat in front of me, watching me, waiting for me to falter. But I wouldn't.

I stared at a spot in the middle of the floor as he comfortably sat above me. My knees throbbed with pain, but I didn't move. Mind over matter.

"Do you have any fucking idea how much you mean to me?"

I continued to look at the spot.

"The things I would do for you?"

I looked into his eyes, and something flickered behind them.

Hurt? Anger? Hate? Could it be hate?

"Of course you don't. You never gave a shit about me or my feelings and why would you? You were nothing more than a whore my brother commissioned. Now you're at my mercy. You're at the will of me, your master. The one who now owns you."

Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and my heart sped. I stared until my vision blurred. I had been on the floor for over an hour. As if I didn't have enough of his mind fuck, Luke dropped down to his knees and forced me to look into his eyes.

"See me," he said, and I spit in his face. The heels dug into the crease of my ass. I looked at him, chest rising and falling with every breath, as he wiped away my saliva.

"Is this what you want, Luke? You want me to see you for the fucking monster you are. I thought you were someone you weren't. I thought you cared about me. You're pathetic and jealous of your own brother. You disgust me."

He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, really slow, so controlled it scared me. Then he swiftly stood and jerked me up by the hair. I fought back screams.

With all of his strength, Luke forced me onto the bed and pinned my arms above my head. I couldn't fight him. I wouldn't. It was best to just take it. As much as I wanted to fight against him, it wouldn't get me anywhere.

Luke's face was inches above mine as he hovered over my body. His heartbeat pulsed in his neck. He forcefully restrained my wrists with one hand, while the other slid up the side of my body, touching my soft skin. His touch held so much vengeance, lust, desire.

"Do you want to die? Then learn to fucking listen to me, for once, or you'll never see my brother again, not even in your dreams," he said between gritted teeth.

"Are you threatening me?"

"It's a fucking promise, Miss Downs." And that's when Luke's hand wrapped around my throat.

Then the laughter came. My laughter.

At that moment, I knew Luke had broken me. It wasn't the tone in his voice or words, or the tight grasp he had around my throat, but the seriousness in his face and eyes that told me he was telling the truth. At that moment, I saw him for what and who he truly was, and I hated him for it.

Luketon Brand, Finnley's little brother, was out of control. A little piece of me, deep inside, told me I lay in the room where I would die by the hands of the man who I once trusted with my life.

FINNLEY

Twenty-nine

The earliest flight left in the morning. Luke had been back in Vegas for forty-eight hours and was impossible to get in touch with. I needed to tell him that Abbot found the driver and that Jennifer was in the States somewhere, but each time his phone went to voicemail when I called. Damn it! Not the best time to be unavailable.

I packed my things and boarded the plane, then put on my Ray-Bans with the hope that no one would recognize me. No one did. When I landed in Vegas, Charlie waited for me and brought me to the office.

While we were on the elevator, my secretary turned and gave me a look. "Didn't know you were coming in today."

I crossed my arms and glared at her. I did look batshit crazy at the moment in a t-shirt and tattered blue jeans. I needed a shave and shower after that flight, but I also had a business to make sure was running properly.

"I won't be here long. Just need to take care of some things, and I left my laptop."

She smiled, and the elevator door opened. I walked to my office and pulled out Jennifer's file. A picture of her smiled back at me, and I ran my finger across her face. Why had I never taken any pictures of her? Or taken her to do fun things in New York or California? When I found her, things would change. A person never knows what they have until it was gone. Regret overtook me.

I flipped through her folder, trying to find a clue, something hidden that she didn't tell me. I knew her parents had died, but never mentioned it because I wanted her to openly talk about it when she was ready. After scanning through the pages, I slammed the folder shut, then tried to call Luke again. No answer.

I opened the laptop and sorted through emails. Jesse's job was currently unfilled, and I needed to get someone in there as soon as possible. A list of women applied, but only one caught my eye: Lori. She would be great at managing the Girls and making sure everything was in place for conventions and meetings. Plus, I got along with her fine. I picked up the phone and called Paisley.

"Have Lori meet me in my office in the next thirty minutes, and join her please."

"I didn't know you were here today. I thought you would be in London for another week."

"Had a change of plans." I hung up the phone, then walked to the window that overlooked the city and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Where are you, Jenn?" I whispered to the streets.

I looked over at the wall where I first touched her, and that hole inside of me spread, making me feel more empty. I balled my fist and punched the wall several times. My knuckles bled, but the pain helped me feel alive and regain myself. Two knocks on the door brought me back to reality.

"Come in," I said, and moved toward the edge of the desk.

When Lori saw me, the look on her face showed nothing but worry, then she glanced down at my swollen knuckles. I didn't hide them.

"Have a seat, please."

They both did.

"Thank you for appearing on such short notice. I know you applied for the management position, Lori, and I don’t want to go through the procedures, annoying interview questions, and all of that. It's a waste of my time, so I'd like to offer you the job. You're more than qualified, and I would be honored to work with you."

Her mouth dropped open and Paisley smiled.

"Are you serious?" Lori asked.

"Very."

"Yes. I would love to. I. I don't know what to say exactly. Thank you."

"The job will come with more responsibilities, a pay raise, and of course, you will not longer be on the line up. Congratulations."

"I am speechless. Thank you so much, Mr. Felton. I will not let you down."

"Paisley, please make sure to have her sign the release paperwork and transition her this week. Also, please let her Number One know as well. You'll move into Jesse's office in the corner."

"I'll get right on it," Paisley said.

"Training will need to begin immediately," I said.

Lori stood to shake my hand, and I smiled. It was the best choice. She was trustworthy, listened to direction, and cared about her job.

Before they left the room, I called Lori back in.

"I'll meet you in my office whenever you've finished," Paisley turned and said to Lori.

Before she sat, she looked over me. "You look like shit, Mr. F."

"I know."

"You didn't find her, did you?"

I sucked in a deep breath then spoke. "I did. She was with Luke."

She held back a smile, and I shook my head.

"Then was kidnapped in front of me."

She covered her mouth with her hands and gasped. "Oh my God."

"And I'm searching for her. You haven't heard anything, have you?"

"No. She never returned my calls."

"She's here, in the states, somewhere. I know that. I have to find her."

"We will."

I congratulated her once again, and she was on her way.

"Take care of yourself," she said before she left my office.

I tightened my hand into a fist and grabbed the set of keys to the BMW I had in the parking garage for situations just like this. Having an extra car at the office was necessary.

Fucking Luke would talk to me one way or another. We had important matters to discuss, and I needed to find Jennifer before something terrible happened to her.

I sped through the city streets and drove straight to his house. His Volvo was parked outside. I used the spare key to his house and let myself in. His suitcase sat by the kitchen counter and mail was spread across the top. Music leaked from upstairs. I climbed them two at a time.

I slammed open the door to his studio where he was busy painting depressing shit.

"What the fuck?" I yelled at him.

He turned and stared at me like I had scared the shit out of him.

"What. The. Fuck. Luketon," I said again.

"What?"

"I've been calling you, asshole. Answer your phone."

He finished painting the dark clouds on the canvas and slammed his paintbrush into a jar of water.

"I've been working. Give me a break."

"I don't give a shit. When I call you, especially with the current circumstances, I need you to at least call me back in a timely manner. I've left you several voicemails. What is going on with you?"

"Leave, Finn. I can't be around you right now. I've got too much going on, and I really need to finish this project."

"No. Make me leave."

Luke looked down at my swollen knuckles and my flexing fist and shook his head. "You need rest. Go home. Shower. Shave. We can have dinner or something. You're acting fucking crazy. Leave." He stood inches from my face.

"You've not seen crazy yet," I said pushing him away from me. He didn't fight back, and I shook my head at him then slammed the studio door behind me. As I made my way down the stairs, he stood at the top and watched me.

"We can have dinner tonight," Luke said.

"I need to find Jennifer, Luke. I don't give a fuck about anything else." I stopped walking. "And she's somewhere in the US, not that you fucking cared to know."

He sucked in a deep breath and walked toward me.

"How do you know that for sure?"

"Because Abbot found the driver. And when I find out who took her, I will fucking kill them," I said as I slammed the door behind me. He didn't respond.

I slowly slipped away into the shadows. I knew once I fully lost myself there it would be hard to come back. But I hadn't completely given up hope yet.

I had a few favors to cash in from a few gangsters, thieves, and criminals that I hadn't talked to in years. Although I didn't particularly want to, it was time to give them a call.

Thirty

Taxi driver and club guy entered and attached chains with cuffs to the hook in the corner of the room. I rolled over on the mattress and tried to pretend they weren't there, but their annoying fucking laughter became impossible to ignore.

"She has no clue what's in store for her, does she?" taxi driver said.

"No clue. Stupid bitch," the other one replied.

They stood over me, and I pretended they weren't there. I hoped they would walk away and leave me alone and, surprisingly, they did. But I didn't trust them. If Luke hadn't brought me here, they both would have probably had their way with me. After whispering back and forth to one another in the corner of the room, they left me to wallow in my emotionless bliss for hours before I was visited again.

The clearing of a throat woke me from my daze. I didn't roll over or acknowledge Luke, but pretended to be asleep to see how long he would stand there.

"Jennifer."

After a few minutes, I rolled over and looked at him and the tray of food in his hand.

"I've warned you," he said.

I slid off the bed then dropped to my knees and placed my arms behind my back. He left me there until my knees ached. Eventually, I would be numb to not only emotional pain but physical pain too. Once satisfied with me, Luke nodded his head with approval and set the tray of food, real food, on the table.

"Come eat."

Macaroni and chicken filled the plate. The thought of him doing something nice for me, in my current condition, made me sick.

"I know it's your favorite."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Go on. I've seen what you've been eating."

I sat and so did he. Slowly he slid a spoon and fork to me, and I stared at it. I didn't want anything from him, not even food that made my mouth water. Instead, I flipped the tray over. Macaroni slung onto his black shirt, and the chicken landed in his lap.

"Damn it," he yelled and grabbed me by my wrists.

I jerked away from him.

"Why do you insist on being a bitch when I'm trying to help you?"

"Help me? Help me? Are you fucking kidding me? Have you seen where I'm at Luke? The only person I have to blame for this is you. You! The only person who knows where I am."

He grabbed me by my hair and yanked me to the cuffs on chains in the corner. He slammed my wrists above my head and tightly bound me.

"I hate you. I fucking hate you." I didn't raise my voice. No, I didn't need to for my point to get across.

Luke forcefully flipped me around and made me stare at the wall, then he inched his hands under my panties and moved them out of the way.

"Tell me again how much you hate me."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

And that's when his hand slapped my ass, hard.

"Tell me."

Then another slap slammed against my bare skin. Luke wasn't holding back at all, instead he gave me every bit of his strength. I bit my bottom lip and held back whimpers. Then another slap, and another, and another. With every hit, the chains jingled and crashed against the wall. I felt so much pain that I became deadened to it. He kept the hard slaps coming until he wore himself out and panted behind me.

I looked over my shoulder at him, and the tears welled in my eyes. The imprints of his hand on me burned, and the pain radiated up and down my body. My hair fell into my face, and Luke tucked it behind my ear. I flinched.

"I'm sorry. It's for your own good," he whispered.

No words formed. I couldn't reply. I had nothing to say to him.

Luke looked at the marks on my ass and exited. He left me standing with my arms above my head. Today was one of the worst days I had experienced since I'd been taken, and I had a feeling there were many more of these to come.

I closed my eyes, imagined Finnley and my parents, and for the first time since I had left, I wanted to go home. Home as in back to Texas. I leaned my forehead against the wall and wished someone would come in, anyone, to free my arms. Like the devil heard my prayers, the minions entered.

"Looks like you got your ass beat real good," one said. I didn't turn around, but I felt a hand on my other ass cheek, the one that didn't have welts. Forcefully, I pushed my leg out and knocked the skinny one in the balls. Cab driver decided I couldn't do that without consequences and headed toward me to avenge his friend, and he did. With tight hands grasped around my neck, he slammed me against the wall.

"You shouldn't have done that, bitch."

My vision slowly faded to dark. I gasped for air. I needed to live. I wouldn't die by the hands of this bastard. Maybe another one, but not him. My knees went slack, and he released my neck. I gasped for air.

As much as I wished my time in this prison would end, I didn’t want the end to be by death. Club guy stood after he adjusted his balls that I had crushed so easily, and slapped me across the face with the back of his hand.

"I hope Luke fucking kills you, and I hope I get to watch," he said.

Once he physically and verbally abused me, I assumed we were even, because he then released me from the cuffs.

My body slid down the wall and I lay there in a crumpled heap for an unknown amount of time. If I made it out of here alive, I would seek revenge on them all.

Nights drifted into days, and days into night. Time didn't exist. A piece of me wanted to sleep forever but my bastard wouldn't let me. He brought a dress for me to wear along with a towel and new soap. Maybe he understood how horrible the other soap was on my skin, but that would mean he had feelings, and I knew he didn't.

When Luke visited me today, agitation seemed to drift from him. His bad mood practically suffocated me, and I wanted it to. He picked up one of the wooden chairs and slammed it against the wall. It broke in several pieces. He knocked over the table and tried to tear the room apart with his bare hands. I didn't dare say a word. He was in a dangerous place, and I didn't want to get caught in the middle, but I knew the crosshairs were already on me.

He breathed deeply, his chest rose and fell from the force he used to destroy every piece of furniture in the room. Pieces of wood lay around in scattered piles. I stood there with my arms crossed, waiting for him to speak.

"We will soon become one. I'm going to fuck you, and you'll beg for more of me. Maybe then you'll finally realize what you've been missing."

I swallowed as he stared at me with crazy in his eyes. I kept my mouth shut for once. He walked toward me, and I backed against the wall. His body stood inches from mine, and I wanted to push him away, but didn't want to light the fuse to a ticking time bomb.

Luke ran his fingers through my hair, wrapped strands in his fist, and tilted my face up to look at his before he forced himself on me. Forcefully, he gave me several lip-numbing kisses. I struggled from his mouth, but when I did, he pushed his lips harder onto mine. Then his tongue was down my throat, and he kissed up and down my neck. I pushed him, but he roughly pinned my body between his and the wall. His breath was hot on my skin.

"Why do you fight it? I know you want it."

He ran his fingers up my dress and held my breast in his hands. He moaned, and it disgusted me. With forceful hands, he grabbed the material and ripped it open. The dress fell to the floor around me.

I stood in bra and panties in front of him, and he smiled. He really frightened me. If he wanted to have sex with me up against this wall, I wasn't strong enough to stop him. I knew that I had no choices, and the thought of that pissed me off and scared me. It sickened me to look at him, so I turned my head away.

His lips swept across the softness of my neck. He moved down my body and kissed the tops of my breasts, then dropped to his knees in front of me.

I took myself from the situation, from it all, and forced myself void of Luke's hands and lips on me. There were memories I wanted to erase from my mind and this was steadily climbing the list of things to forget. Luke hooked the lace of my panties with his index finger, and before he inched them down, the door slammed open and drew me from the abyss.

All I could see were red high heels and skinny jeans.

FINNLEY

Thirty-one

I wrote dark poetry on a napkin at the bar as I waited for the men that watched over the underground sex ring to arrive. My thoughts had skulked in a dangerous place for weeks. But no matter, I had to make sure Jennifer hadn't been seen where the darkness of the industry roamed freely. It was no place for her.

Everything had polar opposites. Where there was a positive, there was a negative. Where there was The Elite, there was prostitution, sex slaves, pimps, and whores. Where there was Finnley Felton, there should have been Jennifer Downs, but someone decided to fuck it up, and for that, I would return the favor. I didn't get back, I got even plus ten.

I popped my knuckles as I waited, my patience waning.

To keep my mind busy, I finished scribbling my thoughts and downed the Maker’s Mark. When two bulky men sat on either side of me, I tucked the napkin in my pocket and snapped for the bartender to bring us a round.

"Gentlemen," I said coolly. I wasn't intimidated by them, especially not after dealing with men worse than them for half of my life. I knew the gangsters on the other side of the spectrum, and they knew me. We agreed to stay out of each other's way, which we did easily, but they owed me, and it was time to pay. If I hadn't bailed their boss out of jail, they wouldn't be where they were today. After saving their asses more times than I could count, they agreed to stay underground and away from me and The Elite. With that, I agreed to leave them the hell alone. Money talked. Always had and always would. Luckily, I had enough to have conversations for days.

The two guys didn't respond, but I didn't expect them to. I pulled the photo of Jennifer, the one that was in her Elite file, from the inside of my coat pocket and slid it to my right. He picked it up and narrowed his eyes, then handed it to his buddy. I continued to look forward and sipped my drink calmly, though my insides blazed with a need-to-know so strong that it almost made me sick. One thing I was good at: poker face.

The man beside me sucked in a deep breath and scooted the picture back to me. I placed it inside my coat pocket. It had been with me since I came home.

"I've seen her," he said.

My breath hitched in my chest, and that's when the violent rage almost consumed me. I had to count to ten, fucking twenty, to calm down and evaluate the situation.

When I was a teen, heavily involved with the gangs of London, I almost killed a group of men with my bare hands after losing control. A screaming girl in a dark alley stopped me in my tracks. Four sick fucks had kidnapped and proceeded to have their way with her, but I caught them with their pants down before they could do any damage. I beat the lot of them to a pulp and left them for dead. A piece of me wanted to burn them alive for being the bottom-feeders of the city, but I didn't. Instead, I told them if they ever fucking touched or kidnapped another person, I would hunt them down, chop off each of their dicks, then proceed to shove them down each of their throats, one by one, as they watched each other choke. To this day, Abbot watched them. Those men never tried anything like that again, and if they did, a sharp knife would be waiting for them.

The unstoppable force I slowly transformed into in London was not the person I wanted to be. That wasn't the life I wanted to lead: always watching my back, fighting for my rights, and killing. I was intelligent, practical, talented, and I had street smarts. Don't get me wrong, I was still unstoppable, but I didn't want to be known as a fucking murderer. Monsters didn't care or have a conscience. I was different.

I needed a change from it all, and Columbia had offered me a full scholarship. It helped that my father was an alumnus. The Felton name became a free pass, almost. Columbia kicked my ass, made me into the businessman I was, and for that, I would forever be grateful.

I finished my drink and so did they. They waited for me to speak though very little would be said between us.

"She’s alive. Make sure she stays that way." I didn’t say it as a question, but as more of a conviction. I knew her heart still beat, and that would keep me temporarily satisfied. If any woman could be slung through the mud and make it out alive, breathing and snarling, it would be her. I hoped she wasn't giving them to much hell, but a little piece of me knew she was. If she acted out too much, Jennifer would get hurt. I couldn't have that. Fucking firecracker.

The leader nodded his head, and I wanted nothing more than to demand he bring me to her, but that's not how deals like these worked. I knew that. Instead, I continued to stay disinterested in them, and the whole conversation, and they returned the gesture.

After they finished their drinks, they swiveled from their stools and stalked out the front door. Although I contemplated following them, it would have done me no good. They could be trusted, especially considering the amount of favors that were owed to me. If they fucked this up, the two of them would be dead, and not by my hands, but by their boss.

Finnley fucking Felton meant something underground. I was not to be toyed with, and even though I wasn't a murderer, they all knew that I would kill and take every single one of them down to get what I wanted. In less than a month, I could have half of the gang of London here to battle it out with these fucks, and they knew it. Plus, I had the money to fund the escapade. My background was on a need to know basis, and all the mob bosses, drug lords, and slave drivers knew what I was capable of, which gave me and my business an unlimited number of get-the-fuck-out-of-my-way passes.

No, they would keep their end of the deal, but if they crossed me… if they fucking crossed me, all I would have to do was make one phone call and all hell would break loose.

Thirty-two

My mouth dropped open when I saw blond hair.

"Surprise. What? You thought Luke brilliantly crafted all of this? Think a-fucking-gain." Jesse stared at me with so much hate in her eyes I thought I might die. Before I could say a word, she pushed Luke away and came at me. With both hands wrapped firmly around my neck, Jesse slammed my body powerfully into the wall. I tried to push her away, but she kept coming back for more. The rumble in her throat, the vengeance in her eyes, and the animosity in her grasp… I knew who was in charge of my kidnapping, and it wasn't Luke.

The minions entered and broke Jesse off of me. They jerked me by my arms and bound my hands behind my back. They pushed me to the bed and secured me to the metal bed frame with handcuffs. Jesse pulled a gag from her back pocket and forced it into my mouth.

"Now," she said. "It's time we clear up a few of your stupid little misconceptions. I've been watching you since Finnley met you in the Bellagio. I'm always watching him."

My eyes narrowed on her.

"Then when he first mentioned you working for The Elite, I knew you were fucking trouble. I wanted you out of Vegas. I slashed your tire so you wouldn't have transportation. I staged a cab driver to bring you wherever you wanted to go so I could keep tabs on you. I tried to have you drugged, but you couldn't handle it and almost died. I wanted your virginity stripped so Finn would stop his stupid fucking obsession, but that didn't fucking work either. Why is that, Jennifer? Why do you keep slipping through my fingers? This time, you won't. It was only a matter of time before I took you. You're fucking naive."

She pulled a knife from a sheath on her leg and inspected it with a smile. The crazy bitch then straddled me with the knife in her hand, and I knew at any moment she would stab me in my chest, in my heart, and watch me bleed out on the dirty mattress. The sharpness of the blade skimmed my face as she leaned over close to my face and whispered, "I want to fucking kill you. I want to watch your life leave your eyes." She wrapped my hair around her fist and jerked my head forward. "For ruining what Finnley and I would have had. You know, he fired me because of you. Because you couldn't fucking handle seeing me with him. Sexual harassment. What the hell? I was fired for sexual harassment, and you know, this is payback."

My heart pounded so hard in my chest that my ears rang. Jesse continued to pull my hair tight in her hand and wrapped it twice around her fist.

"We would have fallen in love. We would have gotten married, had kids, started a life together, and lived happily ever after. I had a plan to make him want me. Make him want me. But your skank ass arrived and took that from me. You are responsible for him pulling away from me. For that, you will pay for the rest of your sorry fucking life, which won't be very long."

She sawed on my hair with the sharp blade. I tried to move, tried to stop her, but I couldn't. I let out a muffled scream, but she just smiled. A sociopath stared back at me. As she laughed, Jesse placed the point on my chin and pushed. The stinging sensation didn't matter, because soon after, she licked my blood from the blade as she stared at me. Shock overcame me when I saw my blood on her tongue. My eyes widened. Jesse moved inches from my throat, watching my pulse speed up with that frightening smile on her face. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn't slit my throat.

"Stop it," Luke said. "Jesse. Stop."

She kept on, ignoring that he ever spoke.

"Stop," Luke said again, then came to the bed and pulled Jesse off of me.

When she stood, she used every bit of strength her small frame had and pushed him in the chest. "Don't you fucking touch me." She sucked in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. With a flip of a switch, she was in control again.

"But you're right. You want to fuck her while she is alive, and we made a deal after all. Tomorrow, then. You'll do it tomorrow."

He nodded his head, and she placed the knife back in its sheath, which was wrapped securely around her leg. While they whispered to one another, Jesse randomly snarled and pointed at me.

I couldn't believe this was happening. Jesse was a crazy bitch. I knew she hated me, tried to sabotage me, threatened me, and wanted me fired, but this? This was an odd concoction of psychotic mixed with unbelievable. I had been shoved into the twilight zone, a place where Jesse and Luke worked together against me.

My heartbeat hammered in my neck, chest, eyes, ears, throughout my whole body. If snipers could lower their pulse when shooting by slowing their breathing, then I could gain just a sliver of control. Right?

When I looked over at them again, Jesse's arms were around Luke's neck, he tightly grabbed her waist, and they were kissing. She ran her fingers through his hair and drew him in closer to her.

Yeah, that thing called control, totally not fucking happening.

When he pulled away, Luke looked at me with no feeling, then looked away. I pushed out heavy breaths as my anxiety increased to an unhealthy level. I needed to grasp a piece of reality.

"Tomorrow then? You'll take her virginity, then Finnley will no longer want her, and we can move forward with the second half of what was agreed upon," Jesse said.

"Tomorrow," he agreed.

Luke knew I was no longer a virgin. He knew that Finnley had taken it, several times mind you, so what was this? While we walked the streets of London together, Luke had talked about Finnley fucking me when I wanted him to. It was no secret to him. This was a mind fuck of a game. Maybe this was the only way for him to get the last fuck before she killed me? I had too many unanswered questions. Control.

"I'll kill her before it's all said and done. She's already dead to me," Jesse said, then stormed out the door with her minions close behind her. Luke watched her leave then looked down at me. I looked into those eyes that I had once adored, and I saw nothing.

"She will kill you," he said. My nostrils flared as he spoke. He bent over the bed and whispered in my ear, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to save your fucking life."

Luke removed the gag from my mouth and then exited.

The two of us were at a stalemate.

FINNLEY

Thirty-three

She drowned in honey-like water, but I couldn’t save her. The harder I swam, the faster her body drifted away from me. I screamed but nothing came out. A gesture lost in the wind. When I moved forward, she moved further way. The nightmare where Jennifer died, and I was left helpless, had me waking in a panic for the past three nights. Each time she left me a different way. Each time I was left alone.

Since she's been gone, the fear of her dying haunted me.

I couldn’t keep on like this.

Worried.

Frustrated.

Angry.

The threads that held me together would eventually break.

After I left the bar last night, I made the phone call to London anyway. Fuck playing by the rules. I made them. I didn't plan on becoming a follower now or ever. One should stay two steps in front of his enemy, but I always stayed three. If anyone was prepared for what lay ahead, I would be. Fuck with me, and I would pounce with vengeance. Fuck with things I've claimed as mine and prepare for the wrath of a dangerous piece of me that has been locked away for a decade. I've never killed, but I would do whatever was necessary. No one should test that.

Three a.m. flicked on the clock, and I dressed. Abbot and his handful of men would be waiting at the airport within the hour. Together we would wreak havoc.

Before leaving, I poured a shot of Johnny Walker and slammed it back. The alcohol burned, but I welcomed the sensation. It woke me from my haze, took away the numbness, and made me feel something.

The moonlight swept over the slick pavement. The frigid morning air seared my lungs and reminded me of home and running. I missed the constant rhythm of my moving muscles, an experiencing that activity that freed my mind and calmed my body, but I hadn't had time to run. Probably why I felt like shit lately. Well, that and the girl I had feelings for was kidnapped in front of me. Motherfuckers would burn before it was all said and done. Just thinking about it pissed me off again. I pushed harder on the gas.

At the airport, Charlie waited with the limo at the corner. I didn't have to meet them because their itinerary was set, but I needed to speak with Abbot alone. I needed to know that he understood what was to happen, the game plan. I needed to know that he was playing by my rules. Let the man run rampant and he would tear all of the bastards apart with his bare hands. Although Abbot made the perfect partner, because he was unafraid and unstoppable, it also made him a liability. I didn't need him slashing people into shreds.

Who they worked for didn't matter to him. All he knew was they weren't one of his own, which meant automatic enemy. Also, power hungry was his middle name. I knew how he thought. He could wipe them all out and take over the underground, and while that would be nice, it would only create unnecessary wars.

When they stepped from the double doors, the lot of them couldn't be missed. Tall, wearing leather jackets and boots, they looked like fucking Twinkies all dressed the same with disdain painted on their faces. Smile you fucks, but they were emotionless. But then again, it wasn't a smiling matter.

Charlie opened the door to the limo and all of them got in except for Abbot. He made eye contact with me and came to V. I unlocked the door, and he plopped on the seat.

"Nice fucking ride, man. You look like shit. Still."

I lifted an eyebrow at him. He looked wired.

"Like a pile of fucking shit," he added and punched me in the arm.

"How was the flight?"

Charlie pulled away, and I followed behind the limo.

"Sucked ass, but that's to be expected. Any news? Have you found a lead?"

A smile swept across my face, and one filled his too. Amped Abbot was ready to fight, even after flying across a huge fucking ocean. This man had gangster in his blood. He lived it, breathed it, and enjoyed it a little too much, but I understood. That destructive part of me begged to be released, and I pulled back the reigns. Not fucking yet, Finnley.

"I met two men that have seen her in the underground scene. She's there. I know how to get there. They are making sure she stays alive. Watching her for me. But they won't step in if anything else happens. So I thought we could pay them all a visit."

"Right now."

"No."

Abbot flexed his fist, and his knuckles popped.

I laughed at him and added, just a tad of sarcasm in my tone, "You’re so intimidating. When did that happen?"

"When you decided you didn’t want to be in the business. After seeing those four guys you bloodied to all fuck, I decided to step up my shit."

I laughed. "Bastards deserved it. Don’t regret a tad of it."

Abbot nodded his head in agreement.

"I’ve got your back down there, F. I will fucking kill them all if they even try to get near you. My men have my back. Together we will take every single one of those bastards down."

"Just know a large majority of the women down there don’t want to be freed. They are dirty whores. Prostitutes. Addicted to cocaine and money and sex. Drugs course through their veins, and all they are worried about is their next fix. If you opened the door, they would happily stay in the shadows. That’s who they are. That’s who they will die being. There are women who were captured and thrown underground by the human traffickers. The ones who want out, we can try to help, but the others, who refuse to leave, will only slow us down. But remember, behind every prostitute is a pimp, and they will come for us."

We sat in silence as I followed behind the limo.

"The illegal side of the business isn’t glam, clients, and regulations. It’s abuse and slavery and is almost worst than the Moulin Rouge. There is a side of the business here rotting away. Many turn a blind eye to it and ignore it.

"And your girl is there."

I nodded.

"And you have no idea who is responsible for her taking."

I shook my head.

"We go tonight. We fight tonight. We kill tonight," he said between gritted teeth.

I didn't need to give Abbot rules, just basic instructions with only one goal in mind: find Jennifer. Save those who are worth saving and get the fuck out of there. I never crossed the line between the glamorous side of selling sex and the abusive side, but tonight I would go in headfirst with the best men–men who weren't afraid, men who laughed at danger, crime, and rules.

Blood might be shed. People may be hurt. I didn't give a shit what it took. Sometimes love was worth fighting and dying for.

Tonight a war would submerge in the pits of Vegas' mini hell and that vicious part of me that didn't give a fuck, laughed.

Thirty-four

My bastard entered and handed me clothes. I took them and laughed.

"This is it?"

"Shower."

He left me to wash in the rusty-colored water, again. A person never realized how wonderful clean water was until they didn’t have it. They didn’t realize how wonderful freedom was until they were locked in the same room for days.

I put on the panties that were nothing more than a joke and the bra that barely covered me. Then Luke entered, along with Jesse. She snarled at me like a feral animal with blood red lips.

"Give it to her."

Luke came to me and held my arms behind my back. Jesse dipped the needle into a glass vial. I jerked away from Luke, and he tugged me to him, then slammed me on the ground. He straddled me and forced my arms above my head. I couldn't fight him any longer. Luke was too strong.

Jesse bent down and shot the liquid hate into my arm. I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I hate you. I hate you both."

Luke relieved me of his massive weight and yanked me to my feet. He latched on so hard that I thought he might bruise my arm. I didn't wince. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. We walked through the hallway, but instead of climbing the stairs, we turned right. Luke stopped walking, turned, and looked at Jesse. The drugs coursed through my body, and my vision wavered. I had to stay focused and tried to blink hard. Nothing worked. Whatever they gave me was different this time.

"What's this?" Luke asked. His voice seemed to echo.

"It's time, Luke. Time for you to fuck her and get this charade over with. I'm not waiting any longer."

"This is not what I agreed to."

I slightly turned my body and stared at him, or tried to. For the first time since I had been captured, Luke seemed worried which frightened the shit out of me.

"There weren't any stipulations when you signed the papers to take her virginity. Now fucking enter."

He let go of my arm and turned completely around to face Jesse.

"I don't want to do this here, in front of people. I want to take her to my house."

My mouth dropped open.

"Then maybe you should have been more specific with your requests."

Jesse forced herself on me and slammed me against the wall. The drugs that mixed with my blood flooded me, and I couldn't control my strength. Everything was moving, and weird. Unstable.

Jesse flicked the blade of her knife and held it at my throat. I wanted to choke the life out of her. I wanted to see her die in front of me.

The hate that she released scared me.

I tried to ball my fists.

"Either you fuck her, or I'll find someone else. Or maybe I'll kill her right here and be done with it completely."

I stood still trying to plaster myself to the cool brick wall. Any movement and the blade would have sliced through my main artery.

"I'll do it. I will. This isn't my ideal scenario, but that's okay. Consider it done," Luke said.

Jesse smiled and slowly removed the knife from my throat.

"I'm wondering if I can trust you, Luke. Don't make me question you."

She flipped the knife closed and tucked it in her boot. I slid down the wall and closed my eyes when Luke wrapped his arms around Jesse and held her passionately.

"You know you can trust me." He pushed her away and stared into her eyes. "You know me. You know how bad I want this so we can move on. It will be over tonight, and we can move on together."

"I won't move on until Finnley is mine."

"Am I not good enough for you?"

She never answered.

I didn't know if he was serious or if he was acting. Luke. I wanted to yell at him, scream his name, ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, but I didn't want to die. Jesse was capable of horrible things, and killing me seemed to be at the top of her list. I would keep quiet so I could live. I would shut the fuck up for Finnley.

I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat. The sickening feeling that everything I believed was wrong taunted me. I let out a long sigh trying to recoup, and they both turned their heads and stared at me. Luke pursed his lips, narrowed his eyes, and slightly shook his head. Jesse's nostrils flared.

"I want to fucking kill her. I hate looking at her."

"After I take her virginity, Finnley won't desire her anymore. I know my brother. He wants her for that, and that's all. Once I take it, he will be over her and move on to the next best thing."

"Good." She flipped her hair over her shoulders pushed Luke away. He came to me and lifted me from the ground. We stared at one another, and I just wanted to know what he was doing. He swallowed, then interlocked his fingers with mine and looked at the door.

We entered.

Yellow buzzing lights hung from the ceiling. A bed stood in the middle of the room and window walls surrounded every inch. On the other side sat people in chairs, watching us. Voyeurism wasn't my thing.

Luke leaned down and whispered in my ear as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I didn't expect this. I'm not sure how to get out of this one."

I laughed and shook my head. "You're a fucking idiot."

He moved me closer to him, kissed my neck, and whispered in my ear again, "You're right. I'm sorry. I thought I could handle this. I thought I could save you."

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

He pushed me away and searched my face. "Pretend."

Then his lips crashed into mine, and I pretended as I slipped in and out of reality. I pretended that Luke was Finnley, and that I would never be able to kiss or see him again. Luke gave me everything he had, and I wouldn't believe he faked it.

He ran his fingers through my hair, and my lips hurt from his hard kisses. His tongue wrestled with mine, and he latched onto my hips to steady me. My legs were like noodles and I forced them straight.

Luke moved me toward the bed and gently positioned me on top of the soft mattress. I forced my stuck eyelids open.

Were we really going to do this? Was he really going to fuck me in front of a hundred people when I had no control over my own body?

I didn't want to. I didn't want to kiss him, be close to him, or even pretend.

I wanted my Finn.

I wanted love.

I wanted to be away from here and forget it ever happened.

Luke kissed up my stomach and trailed his lips over my breasts. He moved my face and forced me to look at him, then kissed me again.

"Please, Luke. Please don’t."

I begged him. I wanted him to stop.

An intercom screeched, and my ears rang with an echo.

"We don’t have all night, Luke."

He stood, unbuttoned, and unzipped his pants. The blue jeans fell to the ground. He stepped from them and stood in his boxers. I studied his tattoos, the thirteen, the key, the quote on his chest, then I closed my eyes. This man, this beautiful man, was about to take something so sacred away from me, not my virginity, but my pride, and all for the sake of pretending. For saving my life?

If that were the case, then let me rot, because what was to say she wouldn't still kill me afterward? Nothing protected me, not Luke, not my bastard, no one was my friend down here where the whores, pimps, and prostitutes ran wild. I was a fish out of water who was about to be fucked by a man that I once thought was kind. Someone that I wanted nothing but the best for. Someone who betrayed me to save me but…

Luke climbed back on the bed and inched my panties down my legs. The lace stayed wrapped around my ankles. I wanted to kick and thrash, but barely moved as he positioned himself on top of me.

"Now fuck her," Jesse said. "Do it."

I stared into Luke's blue eyes, and as I tried to focus, the world faded away. I thought I heard gunshots in the distance but I was lost in darkness and couldn't emerge from its depths.

"Please don't." I managed to whisper before completely losing my reality.

FINNLEY

Thirty-five

Abbot's men were happy to freely shoot semi-automatic weapons. I didn't care for the cold metal between my hands. It felt dangerous, destructible, and foreign, but in that instance, having the extra protection was necessary. I didn't know what to expect when we burst down the doors leading to the whores and pimps who ruled the underground. I never understood why it was underground, considering prostitution was legal in Vegas. Never mind. Behind every whore was a pimp. Those men truly ruled the underground with their love of money, crime, and disrespect for women. It sickened me and only fueled my hate.

As I passed, women offered cheap blowjobs and sex. The group of us scooted past them. They smelled like piss and sex, and I knew the clothes they wore were dirty. Half of them were stoned out of their mind, barely able to make eye contact or keep their heads from bobbing. I knew the horrid side of the business but hadn’t realized it had gotten so bad.

Whispers of meth, heroine, and getting the next fix echoed through the halls. I tried not to stare at them or make eye contact. I often felt like I alone could save the world, but I knew that was a lost cause. I tried once. None of the women wanted to leave, regardless of the protection I offered them. This life was what they knew. This life was what they wanted. Most of them felt as if they weren't good enough to do anything else with themselves; some didn't want to. It saddened me and pissed me off all at the same time.

We entered a room full of gangsters and pimps. Most of them were cowards, but some tried to fight. They were no match for our strength and wits. Although the guns were there for protection, I kept mine strapped across my back and fought with my hands. Too much anger raged inside of me and I needed to release my hatred physically. So I did. Once we cleared the room, we made our way up a set of stairs and turned left. We regrouped ourselves, discussed our tactics, and then entered.

I looked around and saw the hundreds of men and women seated around a glass room that acted as a sex stage for the viewers. Two people were inside. After fighting my way through groups of men, the last thing I imagined seeing was my brother straddling Jennifer in front of a fucking audience. My heart dropped in my chest. I gritted my teeth before swinging the rifle from my back, and shooting rounds into glass that encapsulated them. Men stood and rushed me as women screamed in horror. Did they really think they were fucking safe here in the pits of this shithole?

Abbot fired shots around the room, taking out anyone who came close to me. I wanted to kill them all. That thread that held me together finally snapped and the last bit of my control diminished. Shards of glass shattered across the ground and I went to Luke as he pulled up his underwear and quickly put on his pants.

"What the fuck?" I yelled. I grabbed him by his shirt and slammed my fist into his face. I pushed him to the ground on top of the glass and straddled his body as I continued to slam my knuckles into his face. Luke didn't struggle or push me away. He just took it. Took all of it. My anger. My frustration. My hate. Luke absorbed it all.

"You're fucking despicable," I added.

Abbot grabbed my shirt in his fists and forced me away from Luke. "Stop. Finn. Stop," Abbot said, so calmly that it caught me off guard. I heaved and panted as Luke stood with a bloodied face.

"I deserved that," he said, running his hand across his face.

I tried to move toward him, give him round two, but Abbot blocked me.

"This was planned, Finnley."

Abbot greeted Luke with a hug. "I should have let him give it to you a little longer. Might not have been able to see out of those eyes tomorrow though."

"I didn't think you would show, fucker. Goddamn you were almost too late."

Shock covered my face. "What the fuck?"

I looked between Luke and Abbot, and they smiled.

"Yeah, man. I've been keeping tabs on Luke and where he has been since he left Paris. We didn't tell you because you can sometimes act like the fucking hulk and if he would have told you before I made it here, you might not be standing strong."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Jennifer made a low-pitched moan, and I pushed my way past them. Fucking antics.

"Jenn?" I leaned over the bed and moved her hair out of her face. She was clammy and not completely with me. I pulled her panties up and covered her with my jacket.

"What did you fucking do to her? What did you give her?"

"Rohypnol. But before you flip your shit it was a very small dose. Not like last time," Luke said.

"She's allergic you sick fuck."

I stood and pushed Luke with every bit of my strength in the chest. Abbot shook his head in disapproval. Luke regained his footing and sighed.

"No. She isn't allergic. She almost overdosed before. There is a difference." Luke's tone stayed indifferent. He wouldn't push me right now, not when I had nothing holding me back.

He should have told me. He should have warned me. I went and saw him at his house and he knew where she was. How could he look me in the eye when he knew how upset I was with her disappearance? We would have a long talk about this once we were all safe.

"We need to get the fuck out of here. Now," I said.

I smoothed her hair over her forehead, which was chopped to shreds. I held the strands in my fingers and a part of me broke inside. Looking at her like this, she seemed so helpless. This was not Jennifer. She was a strong woman, but at this moment, I realized how frail she really was. I wrapped my arms around her and held her.

"Jennifer. Jennifer, please wake up."

Abbot's men surrounded us as gunfire shot through the room. Each of them split off to clear the room and surrounding hallways. They took people out one by one, and the only part of me that still cared held Jennifer. Luke stared at Jennifer and me on the bed. We were the only ones in the room. We couldn't leave until I knew we would make it out safely.

"I'm so sorry," Luke said.

I swallowed, and as I formed my words, that's when Jesse came up behind him from the shadows. She held a pistol to my brother's head with an evil grimace on her face that was directed at me. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, but all too fast.

"Jesse?"

Shock covered me and I barely comprehended the scenario.

"You should have fucking loved me back, Finnley."

She loaded a round in the chamber, and I heard it click.

"You should have fucked her, Luke. I told you not to cross me. I warned you," she said and burst into laughter. "I told you not to make me question you."

I moved Jennifer from my lap, laid her on the bed, and stood.

"Jesse."

"You broke my fucking heart," she screamed. Tears streamed down her face.

"I loved you. I would have done anything for you. I would have died for you. Killed for you. Oh… I will kill." Her words trailed off, and I knew that what I was dealing with was more than an infatuation.

"Jesse. Come here." I opened my arms. I would hold her. I would squeeze the fucking life out of her if I got my arms around her, but I needed my brother out of the line of fire. I would lie.

"Come here. Come to me. I care for you."

She lowered the gun, and for a moment, I thought she would do it willingly.

"No. You're a fucking liar." She moved the gun from my brother's head and pointed it directly at me. Her nostrils flared with rage, and I opened my palms to her.

"Please, Jesse."

"You know why I took her? Because I wanted you to hurt the same way you hurt me. I wanted you to be without something that you want. I want you to understand what it feels like to lose someone you love."

"I know what it feels like to lose someone I love. My wife. I loved her, Jesse, and she's dead. I may not love you the same way you love me, and I'm sorry for that, but I do care about you," I said.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry," she said and slowly squeezed the trigger on the gun. Luke turned around and slammed his fist into her face, and when the gun went off, I felt a burning sensation rip through my side. I hunched over and fell to my knees. I touched the side of my shirt, and my hand came away red. Another man appeared from the shadows and began fighting with Luke. He was able to pull the gun away from Jesse, and the man and Jesse struggled to get away. Luke chased after them. I heard shots being fired in the distance. The last thing I remembered was the gun dropping to the ground, and Luke laying me down and pulling up my shirt. The look on his face when he saw it. I looked down and saw ripped flesh and blood. The pain was too intense.

"You'll be okay," he said. "Mean people always live forever."

"Asshole," I whispered, and he smiled.

"That's you. I'm going to get you out of here."

"And Jennifer."

"Yes, and Jennifer, I promise."

The pain shot through me more intensely when I tried to sit up, and I sucked in a wavering breath. Screaming and yelling filled the room when Abbot and his men entered.

"Bloody hell. I can't leave you two alone for five minutes."

Sable, a bulky man with a handlebar mustache that curled on the ends, helped me to my feet. Once I was standing, he wrapped his arm around my waist and steadied me. Luke walked beside me with Jennifer dangling in his arms.

"You were going to fuck her. You bastard," I mumbled.

"I wouldn't have. Abbot told me to play along, that he would be here tonight. I didn't think I would be in a room full of people though. That threw me for a fucking loop," Luke said.

"I wish you would have told me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I had to do this. Jesse wanted to kill her and almost did several times. If I wouldn't have been here..."

I turned my head and looked over at my brother. Seriousness covered his face.

"Jesse is a fucking sociopath. A lunatic and egotistical maniac. We aren't safe. She won't stop until we are all dead or until she has you."

I swallowed and saw actual fear in his eyes.

"Neither of those things will ever fucking happen."

Thirty-six

Strong hands held my body tight. Slightly tilting my head to view my capturer, I saw a face that I had learned to disregard. My hate lingered. Luke said he tried to save my life, but after everything, could he really be trusted? What part did he play? He wasn't the ringleader, but rather a caged tiger. With everything I had, I slammed my slack hands at his chest. Weak from the drugs, my world shook.

"Shh. It’s going to be okay," Luke said.

We traveled forward but weren’t alone. Several footsteps shuffled as we walked, but I couldn’t see who surrounded us. The show must be over. Did Luke have sex with me? I wanted to remember. I needed to remember what happened, but the memory didn't exist. Each time they incapacitated me, they took away a little piece of my life. Life. Jesse would end mine without thinking twice.

I panicked.

Could Luke really save me from her and the men that seemed to do whatever she said? I let out a whimper as fear consumed me.

"Jennifer?" A voice, one that I never thought I'd hear again, spoke.

I couldn’t see Finnley because of the way Luke held me in his arms, but I tried. I struggled. I needed to see him. I needed to know he was real and not a figment of the drugs that mingled with my blood.

"You’re safe now. I’m here."

I stared at him. Water streamed down my face, and I realized I was crying, crying because he had come for me. He wiped away the tears that continued to fall.

"Are you real?" I whispered, not sure if I spoke or just imagined it.

Finnley laughed. Then his face distorted and he winced. "As real as I'll ever be, Miss Downs."

A man with blond shaggy hair grabbed Finnley's shoulder and spoke into his ear. "We have to get the fuck out of here. Now. You need a doctor."

I tried to focus on Finn, the man who visited, and sometimes haunted, my dreams. He pushed out a smile and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind my ear. "I’m never letting you out of my reach again." His words echoed and everything dulled. Good, I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs, but no words formed.

My eyelids were like glue and once they closed, I couldn’t open them. I dove back into an unconscious pool of my fears. I screamed to be released, to wake up, to be back in the dank hall looking into Finnley’s eyes wondering why he needed a doctor. But instead, I was in a horrible inescapable realm.

A woman stood in front of me: my mother, bruised and broken. I focused on her face and eerie smile, as she transformed into Jesse. My blood curdled. The drugs allowed the dark thoughts to capture me and run freely. I hated it.

I felt pain shoot through my body, and I was back in the hallway. Luke didn't hold me anymore, and the cold cement felt icy on my half naked body. Finn leaned over me with fear in his eyes.

In the faint distance, a gunshot resonated and screams confirmed Finn's expression.

"Can you walk? Jennifer. Focus. Can you walk? The exit is straight ahead. Right up those stairs."

More gunshots resonated behind us and with every ounce of strength I had, I forced myself into a sitting position. Although my world shook, I knew I could do this. I didn't want to die here.

My balance wasn't right, but Finn steadied me. I wrapped my arm around his waist and felt something wet on my fingers. When I looked down, I saw dark liquid, blood. We made eye contact, and he shook his head no.

"We will worry about it when we are out of this fucking shithole." Hell hath no fury like Finnley fucking Felton on a mission, injured or not.

Cages lined the walls, and women screamed and reached out for us as we passed. I remembered being in this hallway once, and I saw the end staring me in the face. Right around the corner we would climb the stairs that led to the exit on the street.

Everything quickly became mass chaos as the blond man unlocked the temporary prison cells. Gunfire zipped through the hall. Frightened women ran past Finn and me without looking back. The traffickers would not be forgiving, and my fears consumed me. Would I ever be safe? Would Finnley? While winning the battle of saving me, they had inevitably started a war. Somehow I knew Finnley and his men didn't care.

Finnley turned around and looked behind us. Other than the women running through the hallways, we were alone. He yelled for his entourage to hurry but it was drowned out in the mass chaos that surrounded us.

We rounded the corner alone, and a snarling man blocked our way to the stairs. The exit was on the other side of him, and I knew we wouldn't get past without a fight. My legs went out from under me, and Finnley used his strength to hold me.

"Move," Finn said, demanded him, but instead, he laughed like a maniac. He wrapped his arm more snuggly around me but as the man came forward, Finn moved me behind him. I steadied myself against the wall.

Finnley delivered blow after blow, and the giant of a man was on his knees. Adrenaline fueled him. Before walking away, Finn kicked him in the stomach and the man crumbled over on the ground. Not able to stand any longer, my legs went from under me, and I fell to the floor. Too much happened at once, and I wasn't in the best of conditions. Finn bent down over me.

"Let's get out of here."

When I reached up for him, I saw a brute of a man looming over us with a knife in his hand.

"No." I tried to force out, but it was nothing more than a whisper when I saw the flash of a blade disappear and watched Finn fall to his knees. The man lifted the knife above his head, ready to strike again.

I struggled to move as Finnley searched my face. I crawled toward him and tried to scream as he doubled over.

The blond man rounded the corner. As the brute brought the knife down for another round, one single gunshot escaped from the gun in Blondie's hands.

"What a stupid motherfucker."

The man went slack on top of Finn, and Blondie kicked him onto the pavement.

"I should fucking shoot him again for good measure."

Finnley lay without any movement on the ground. Blondie lifted his shirt and screamed to the men that rounded the corner.

Blood was everywhere. I couldn't look.

Death—something so inevitable for all things living—significantly changed my outlook on life, and I didn't want to live through it again. I was tired of losing people I cared for, and a part of me desperately needed Finnley. My parents’ death, leaving Texas for Vegas, the Bellagio, The Elite, Abby, Luke, Finnley, Jesse, London, Paris, the kidnapping, all of those events led to this specific moment.

Time, the only enemy I had, the only thing that we as humans continuously worked against, seemed to control my every move. Timing could be cruel or brilliant. Timing created love or made wars. At that moment, timing left me alone in my darkness, without a clue of what the future held. I became a slave to the ticking seconds, as Finnley lay on the cold concrete, lifeless and bleeding.

Luke rushed to his brother with horror in his eyes. Muffled words, and screams left him. Shock mixed with fear and I couldn't move. Strong hands lifted me, and everything went black. The disbelief of what had happened physically overtook me at the wrong time. I needed to know that the only man I loved was alive and okay. The world dripped away to nothing as we climbed the stairs and exited onto the street.

Thirty-seven

The cool breeze hummed through the open window and woke me from my dreams. Stark white walls blinded me, and I squinted as my eyes adjusted. My back ached from lying in the same place, but I didn't know how much time had passed.

I moved from under the fluffy blanket and closed the window. The mountains stood strong in the distance as the clouds swept across the pink-hued sky.

"Still in Vegas," I whispered. Still in Vegas.

Bruises lined my arms, and the thought of Finnley almost brought me to my knees. The memory of him being stabbed, and his body falling slack in the dark hallway, replayed itself. I covered my mouth to stop the screams. My heart raced and I had to find him.

I opened the door and the blond-haired man that had killed to protect Finnley stood, patiently. He shot a man, I watched him do it, and I had no doubt in my mind that he would do it again.

"Sleeping beauty has awoke. I'm Abbot." He stretched his hand toward me, and I took it. Abbot had a firm grasp with dry hands. Vegas seemed to do that to people.

"Jennifer. And you should really get some lotion."

He smirked at me then smiled.

"They told me you were outspoken. You'd have to be, to be able to put up with Finnley's bullshit. And I saw the look on your face when you opened the door. Prince Charming is fine."

"Where is he?"

Abbot leaned against the wall and pointed at the door at the end of the hall. I didn't stand around for chitchat.

I ran to the end of the hall, and before opening the door, I sucked in a deep breath. What if he didn't look well? Horrible thoughts coursed through me. Then I thought back to the first time I met Finnley, really met him, at The Elite office. It seemed like so long ago, like decades had passed since that day when I called him Finnley instead of Mr. Felton. I knew then that he'd be dangerous for me when I first laid eyes on him and then after I heard that sexy accent. But under that danger was something more, something caring and loving, still assholish, but I loved it.

With anger blazing, Finnley Felton saved me from the pits of hell and risked his life for me. For me? Who was I? Jennifer Downs. Most likely to succeed. Prude. No, those descriptors were no longer me. I was Jennifer Downs. Smart-ass Texan who was in love with a smart-ass man.

I opened the door.

Finnley lay in bed with his hands tucked under his pillow, sleeping on his side. Messy hair lay flat on his forehead, and his lips parted as he lightly breathed.

My breath hitched as I walked forward. Why was I so nervous about this? Maybe because I had never seen him so vulnerable.

An empty chair next to the bed coaxed me forward, and I sat. I couldn’t stop staring at him, and all the while, I felt like all of it was my fault. If I hadn’t have come to Vegas, then I wouldn’t have met him, and all of this wouldn’t have happened. Regret washed over me like a cool summer rain. This couldn’t happen again.

"I’m sorry," I whispered and placed my face in my hands. "I’m so sorry. This is my fault."

A light touch grazed my arm, and I jerked my hands away. Brilliant green eyes stared at me. I opened my mouth and closed it.

He winced and pushed himself up on the bed. Then he opened his arms and motioned for me to come. I did without hesitation.

When I sat on the bed next to him, he sucked air between his teeth. He placed his hand on my leg and rested his head against the pillow.

Silence lingered.

I didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t speak, but I wanted to talk about everything that happened. I wanted to tell him how horrible Jesse was to me and the things she made me do. I wanted to tell him how I thought Luke was a terrible man. I wanted to tell him that when I was lost in the darkness, the thought of him guided me back to reality. His smile, his smart mouth, and the way his hair barely tucked behind his ear. How he could wear anything or nothing and still be just as sexy. But it didn’t seem like a good time. Would there ever be a good time?

"Don’t be sorry, Jennifer. You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do, so stop being regretful. I can see it painted across your face. I do what I want, when I want… remember."

I leaned my head on the same pillow and positioned myself to face him. I made sure to not make any sudden movements.

"Right. Will that ever change?" We smiled at each other, and he barely shook his head. The answer would always be no.

"I've missed you so much. I didn't think you'd ever find me."

"I will always find you."

If I were away, it certainly wasn't because I wanted to be.

I ran my fingers across his lips. "I need to go back to Texas, even if it's for just a few weeks. When I was kidnapped, I realized that all of my life I've run away from my problems instead of facing them head-on. I’m ready to fight my demons. I’m ready to put my parents’ death to rest and really move forward with living."

I moved from his face to his hair, and he closed his eyes. The moment continued to push forward, and I didn’t want it to end.

"I never thought I would be stabbed and shot while trying to save you. I didn’t figure that into the equation."

I opened my eyes, and he stared at me. "Finnley."

He placed his finger over my lips to shush me.

"I’m not finished. I don’t regret it. I don’t regret any moment I’ve spent with you. Jennifer Downs, sometimes love is worth dying for. Sometimes love is worth risking everything. Life’s been an experience for me since I met you, a roller coaster ride that is never ending, but one that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Since I met you, I have truly lived. And if you want to go home, I’ll go with you, because I am not letting you go alone. Not while—"

"Not while what?"

"Not while… Not while Jesse hunts you. This is far from over and I don't think she will stop until you're dead. But that's not going to fucking happen. I won't let it."

The elephant in the room grew at a smothering rate. They must not have found her when they saved me. Bile rose in the pit of my stomach, and I thought I would be sick. The psychopath was on the loose, and she had my name on her tongue. She wouldn’t stop until… I wouldn’t think about it. I couldn’t.

"You’re safe with me. I will never let anything happen to you. Ever. I will die making sure you’re okay."

Anger flashed on his face, then washed away.

"My mother says I look like my father. That we have the same build, hair, and laugh."

He ran his fingers through my hair as he changed the subject.

"Franklin is a good man. He raised me like his own son. He was the only real father I ever knew. But I couldn't help but wonder about the man who created me. When I went to Columbia, a few professors that taught my father were still there. I was a spitting image but with different eyes, they would say. Apparently, he never lost an argument and was eager to succeed. Undoubtedly, I am my father's child, but he wasn't invincible, and neither am I. I understand that now. My mother never got over my father. People may die, but love can live forever, and I want to be here for you, Jennifer. I want to share my days with you."

I sat up and looked into his eyes. He smiled, and I leaned in and kissed him. When our lips touched, a jolt traveled through my body, and my breathing increased. His kisses deepened, so I moved closer to him. He winced.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's alright. I've missed you so much, and now that you're here, there's this." He turned the blanket down. I glanced at his bare chest and the bandages on his side. "Me, being this useless. Never thought that would fucking happen."

"You're not useless. You're injured, there's a difference."

"It could be months or years until I'm back to normal. May have to go to physical therapy too, but I'm returning to work as early as next week. The show must go on."

The door clicked and Luke entered. My body tensed, and Finnley rubbed his thumb over my fingers. I hadn't seen Luke since… I couldn't relive it. I didn't want to remember the horrible things he said to me.

Finnley searched my face but a reaction never came. I'd learned to shut Luke out weeks ago. Luke stood at the doorway, and Finnley patted my leg and sent me away with a head nod. I looked at him.

"Go on. You two need to talk. Don't prolong it."

I laughed at his assertiveness. One quick movement and he wouldn't be so big and bad, but even I knew the discussion between Luke and I needed to happen so we could move on. But I dreaded it. I sighed and slowly slid off the bed. Luke exited, and before I followed, I looked at Finnley, and he smiled. I pursed my lips at him and shook my head. When I closed the door, Luke stood against the wall with his arms crossed. I did the same thing.

His eyes were bruised, and his lip was busted. I couldn't help but stare at how beaten and broken his face looked. He looked like hell.

"So," he said.

"So."

We stood there for minutes, not saying a single word. Abbot hummed Christmas music, and we both turned our heads and stared at him.

"Scrooges," he said before walking down the stairs.

"What's today?" I asked.

"December twenty-third ."

"Christmas is in two days."

I had lost three and a half weeks of my life. Three long, agonizing weeks full of psychological games.

"I did it to save you, Jennifer."

"You could have at least fucking warned me. Shed some light on the plan."

"You were being watched while you were there. It had to seem real to you."

I scoffed. "Do you think I'm an idiot, Luke?"

"There was no truth in what I said and did. Okay, well maybe some of it, but I never meant to hurt you. If she had an inkling of me faking, Jesse would have killed you on principle alone. She knew I cared about you. We were nothing more than pawns in her game, and I played her game for you. I hated every minute of it."

"It wasn't enjoyable for me either."

"Because I did what I had to, you are here with my brother, alive. The way you're supposed to be. I know you won't trust me for a while, but it was for your sake. It killed me every time I had to treat you like trash. It killed me to hear you say the things you did, to have you look at me with so much disgust in your eyes. I had to hit you so hard that I left welts, and I have to live with that. I knew you hated me. But having you hate me, and knowing you were alive, made it all worth it, and I would do it again. I had you and my brother's best interests in mind, and I always will."

"Luke."

"You don't have to forgive me for the things I did and said."

"Luke. I get it. I completely understand. I do. It's just hard to look at you, and it's awkward. You scared me. You were fucking cruel. I know I will get over it, but I need time. You cared enough to be someone that you aren't, I hope."

Luke laughed and opened his arms. I hesitated and then went to him. There was no sexual tension between us, nothing more than two friends. It would take a while for me to forget the things he said and did, but eventually I would. Could I really trust him though? He loved his brother, he loved me, and he wanted us together. The lengths that he went through made that quite obvious.

"What happened to your face?" I asked.

"Finnley beat the shit out of me."

We released our embrace and exchanged a small moment before I walked away.

"Thank you." I grabbed the doorknob and turned to look at him before I returned to Finnley. The last time I said that to him was in London after he told me to go to Finn. I let out a sarcastic laugh, because I had come full circle.

Luke nodded his head and gave me another one of his signature smiles before turning and walking away. One day he would make someone very happy, and he deserved that.

Thirty-eight

Finnley stood at the windows with his hands behind his back, waiting for me, shirtless. The bandages on his left side and on his back looked freshly changed. I hated seeing him like this. To take my mind from it, I searched around the room and noticed the abstract paintings. They were reminiscent of big cities, like New York, Vegas, and London. I didn't pay any attention to them the first time I entered.

"Who painted those?"

Finnley turned around and stared at me. "I did."

"Were you going to tell me you painted? Or spoke French? Or that Forrest Gump is your favorite movie?"

"Luketon. He may regret telling you those things before it's all said and done. Come here."

I went to his good side, and he wrapped his arm around me and held me. He smelled my hair, every bit of me, and I did the same to him. I missed him so much it hurt. Finnley cared about me. I knew he did by his actions alone, but I found myself feeling like I wasn't good enough. What did I have to offer? Why would he risk himself for me? Being underground with the trash of the sex industry really uncovered my ugly insecurities.

"What do I have to offer a man who can have anyone and anything he wants in the world?"

"Why are you thinking that way?" He grabbed the bottom of my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. His hands were so warm, and his touch so soft, that I shuddered.

"Christmas is a few days away. I've got nothing for you."

"Who cares about Christmas? All I've ever asked is for you to give yourself, all of you, to me. And I hate to break it to you Jennifer, but I don't think any amount of money can force you to do something you don't want to do. Ultimately you, just you, that's what I want. You make me happy."

I pulled away from him and searched his face. The words he spoke were exactly what any girl would want to hear from him. I hated to ruin the moment, but that's what I did best. I sighed.

"What?"

"What about Abbie? I never understood that situation."

His eyebrows creased, and he squeezed my shoulder. "What are you hinting at Jennifer?"

"You were going to fuck her. When I was trapped in that room with a dirty fucking shower and mattress, it was one of the things that haunted me. It's a skeleton in the closet that I can't seem to get over. It's those types of things nightmares are created from."

"Nightmares? I think you're exaggerating, Miss Downs. Don't make it into something it's not. Nightmares are being kidnapped, beat to fucking death, and drugged. Not that. You survived nightmares."

"It made me not trust you."

"After everything?" He sarcastically laughed. "You truly want to know? Abbie and I spent time together while you were recovering, and I wanted to know you, the real you that she knew. You interested me, and I was curious. So I approached her. She said you hadn't mentioned liking anyone, or being with anyone. You actually said no one in Vegas had even caught your eye or meant anything to you. She was convincing, and I believed her. She's your best fucking friend, Jennifer, and you didn't even tell her about me. I knew you wouldn't talk about your feelings to any of The Elite, but to your childhood best friend who knew everything about you? If you had mentioned me to anyone, I knew it would have been her. But you didn't."

"I...I..."

"I can get the truth out of any woman. She stressed the point that you were happy being single. I couldn't take happiness away from you."

I swallowed, and he continued.

"What? You don't want the fucking truth? Well it's raw, Jennifer. You wanted it, and you'll get it. I was vulnerable. She filled the void with her presence and said you didn't care about anyone. The only thing she had heard about me was how much of a controlling asshole I was. How much you hated me. How you wished you hadn't signed the contract, and how Finnley Felton was the biggest dickhead you'd ever met. Apparently, I meant absolutely nothing. Those were your words. To hear that come from her mouth made me rethink you. Made me question your intent. Made me feel like a player who had been played. And I wondered why would she lie? A part of me told me that she didn't. That you had really said those things, and it fucking hurt. I needed to know that I didn't need you. If you hated me that badly... I wanted to truly give you a reason to hate me. I spent days dwelling over it, and I became numb. No woman had ever made me feel that way. But when I saw your face. When I saw the look on your face and the reaction you had when you walked in and stopped one of the biggest mistakes in my life, I knew it was a lie. I knew that you cared. You had feelings for me and I was a fuck-up for thinking otherwise."

I had said those things about Finnley. She improvised a bit, but that was the gist. Finnley was my best-kept secret. Hadn't he made me his? I felt like a fucking hypocritical idiot. We weren't together at that time, and he owed me no answers. He could have fucked whoever he wanted. This was the most honest he had been with me, ever.

"What about Nancy, Finn? You cheated on her with me."

He walked toward me, pinned me against the wall, and leaned into my ear.

"You're still demonizing me. Will you ever stop?"

My voice caught, and he moved to the view of the mountains. Finnley was all about control.

"That Friday, Nancy wanted to go shopping. I joined her. She forced me into a jewelry shop to look at bracelets, necklaces, and rings. Engagement rings, more specifically. She tried them on and gushed about carats and her dream wedding, but the whole time she was talking, all I could think about was you, because Jennifer Downs wouldn't leave my fucking thoughts. I was going mad, imagining arguing with you, you on my kitchen table, the way you looked into my eyes at the office as I told you Luke was ready.

"Something came over me as I listened to Nancy ramble on about making all of her monetary dreams come true. As I watched her, I asked myself what the fuck I was doing. Sometimes it takes the brain a while to catch up with the heart.

"As she continued on, I interrupted Nancy and told her it was over. The engagement ring gleamed on her finger. As I stormed out, I called Charlie to pick her up, then ran through the streets and hailed a cab. Once I got home, I drove V faster than I ever had to Luke's house. I knew then I had to have you. That this couldn't be happening, not when I finally felt something as extraordinary as love. Something that I truly didn't believe existed in my darkness. If I stood around fucking off, I would have lost you forever, and I had lost too much already."

How could I think I knew someone so well, but really didn't know him at all? Behind his steely gaze was a burning love, adoration, and care... for me. The pieces all fit together. How he busted into Luke's house in a frenzy, the way he laughed at me in the hot tub. Finn had already played his hand, but I was on a completely different game. Always two steps behind. Everything I previously thought had been shaken and stirred around.

"So, Miss Downs, quit making me out to be a bloody arsehole. While I can hang with the lot of them, the only person I ever wanted, and will ever want as long as my heart beats, is you."

He tucked a piece of fallen hair behind my ear, his fingertips grazing down my neck, and whispered, "I may be a bastard, but I am no cheater."

Emotions flooded me. Almost so strong I couldn't control the coursing heat that swept through my body. Finnley was right, all of this time, before he had rescued me, I had secretly demonized him, but for no reason. Maybe between the two of us, I was the bloody arsehole. While I was busy pointing the finger, he was busy keeping me in his best interest, protecting me, searching for me when I was lost.

"Love is like color," Finnley said.

"What do you mean?"

"Plants aren't really green, but rather a combination of colors our brains create. They are red, yellow, and orange. Love is like color because it's not always what it seems. Our hearts and minds spin the details. We make situations and people how we want them to be, just as the colors we see. Just as the sky is blue, but is it really blue, or just a reflection of oxygen molecules? I told you once that I knew what love was. I've found it more than once in life, and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve a second chance. Sometimes I find myself questioning your feelings. So we will revisit my question again, Miss Downs. Do you know what love is?"

My breath caught listening to his words. Love was kisses. Love was electrifying and good sex that left you begging for more. Love was cuddles, and snuggles, and a single moment of serendipity. Love was shaggy fuckable hair and J.B.F lips, or the way Finn commanded me, bended and molded me into the woman I would become. Love was strength, beauty, and music. Love was raw emotion that stripped people from their own skin, and being rescued from the pits of hell or risking your own life for another.

The realization set in that love really was Finnley Felton, and I had fallen truly, madly, and so deeply in love with him. So much that sometimes it hurt.

He turned and looked at me. In his gaze, I felt his burning passion of want, need, and desire. Our lips touched, but before we got lost in the moment, he pulled away.

"What is love to you?"

"You," I whispered, and a smile covered his face.

"You'll be the end of me, Miss Downs. You will be the fucking end of me."

"You were the beginning of me, Mr. Felton."

Finnley closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I wrapped my arms around his waist making sure to not touch his wounds. Then he kissed my forehead and grabbed my hands. I stared into his eyes, waiting patiently for him to speak.

"I'm in love with you and can't live without you. I need you to know that I love you, Jennifer Downs. I didn't know if I would be able to tell you. I would have never been able to live with myself if something would have happened to you. I love you."

Those three words: the ones that could move mountains. The ones that could make a heart stop beating or make another one quicken. Those three words left me speechless, but somehow I found words.

"You make me feel things I've never felt before. I feel like I've loved you forever. Finnley Felton, I love you so much that my words feel insufficient. I can't even explain it."

He smiled, interlocked his fingers with mine, and kissed me. The passion swirled between us, and I wanted nothing more than that. When we finally pulled away from each other, Finnley laughed. He was giddy, and I loved seeing him that way, happy and in love.

"Mr. Felton, sometimes you take my breath away."

"Good." He ran his fingers through my hair and before I turned to walk away, Finnley took his time, but dropped down to one knee. He winced and pulled a black box from his pocket, prying it open with shaky hands. I saw nothing but silver and shining diamonds. I covered my mouth in shock.

"Jennifer Downs, I would be honored if I could take your breath away for the rest of your life. I would love to wake up next to you each day and grow old with you. I promise to love you until my dying day. I swear to protect you and make sure you're safe, argue with you until our throats go raw, hold you when you're sad, kiss you when you're mad, and laugh with you when you're happy. I want to experience life with you, Miss Downs, forever."

I dropped to my knees in front of him.

"Miss Downs," he whispered. "Will you be Mrs. Finnley Felton and love me like tomorrow will never come?"

Love was beautiful. Love was complex. Love was real and incredibly powerful, and at that moment, I had never felt anything as heart shattering as that. I needed him as much as he needed me, and nothing, or no one could ever take that away. Kidnap me, abuse me, say horrible fucking things, but my love would never waver. I might stop breathing, but my love was so powerful that it would last forever.

As I stared into his green eyes, I had no doubt that I was meant to be with him. I belonged to him, and he would finally belong to me. Every path that I had taken after leaving Texas had led to Finnley. A divine intervention brought us together, and I was grateful, and happy, and in love. Love. There was no emotion greater than that.

"I love you, Mr. Felton," I whispered and continued to kiss him. He looked into my eyes and wrapped his arms around me. I smiled and continued to kiss him repeatedly.

"Well?"

"Yes. Forever."

With a shaky hand, he slipped the ring on my finger, and although it felt foreign, it was right. Finnley fucking Felton would be mine forever, and I would be his. Together, we would be one. Together we would be happy. Together we would live the rest of our days.

"I love you more, soon-to-be, Mrs. Felton."

THE STORY WILL CONTINUE WITH NO LONGER WEAK, SET TO RELEASE IN 2014.

Content

Weak Without Him
Weakness - 2
Lyra Parish

One

FINNLEY Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

FINNLEY Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

FINNLEY Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

FINNLEY Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-one

Twenty-two

Twenty-three

FINNLEY Twenty-four

Twenty-five

Twenty-six

FINNLEY Twenty-seven

Twenty-eight

FINNLEY Twenty-nine

Thirty

FINNLEY Thirty-one

Thirty-two

FINNLEY Thirty-three

Thirty-four

FINNLEY Thirty-five

Thirty-six

Thirty-seven

Thirty-eight