Steven Campbell

HARD LUCK HANK

SUCK MY COSMOS

This is dedicated to the students and staff of David Douglas High School in Oregon. I don’t know anyone there and have never been to Oregon, but I’m running out of people to dedicate books to.

Go Scots!

CHAPTER 1

The space station Belvaille was a democracy full of stupid and greedy citizens. Stupid and greedy citizens elect stupid and greedy politicians.

Or at least that’s what I liked to tell myself. Years ago I had been Governor and Secretary of City of Belvaille. Now I was nothing. I had been voted out of office by the people whose lives I’d saved countless times over countless years.

I was currently sitting in a restaurant, hoping to find evidence of a City Councilman doing something especially stupid and greedy.

I had been hired by his wife.

She came into my office about two weeks ago.

I owned a five-story structure on Belvaille. It was the only way I could afford to live on the space station. I leased out the top three floors, lived on the first, and had my office on the second. The money I got from renters was just about enough for me to make ends meet.

Just about.

I was scanning through the newspapers looking for employment. My last job had been to help a nobleman locate his missing daughter. I found she had eloped to her boyfriend’s place off-station. I was then hired to beat up said boyfriend and return the daughter.

That was typical work for me.

The Colmarian civil war had rewritten the galaxy, and in the shadow of all the destruction, it had also caused a vast consolidation of wealth. Only the rich lived on Belvaille now. Not like gang boss rich, but more like, I own a planet rich.

Belvaille charged fees for everything. They charged for water. They charged for gravity. They charged if you had a door on your house. They charged if you didn’t have a door. They charged you for breathing. If you got shot, they charged you a fee for bleeding on the sidewalk—I’m not even making that up.

It’s not as if the station was hurting for cash. The avalanche of fees was used to keep out everyone except the most affluent of citizens. I was barely able to cling on.

I only worked for rich people now. I wasn’t a snob, but they were the only ones who could pay enough to make a dent in my expenses.

Normally, I went to meet them or they sent a servant, but occasionally, a client would do me the great honor of stopping by in person.

She came in through the front door while I had my feet up on my desk and my shoes off.

People didn’t come here by mistake. I had a sign on the building that said, “Hank Services Limited.” I didn’t know what the “Limited” meant. I thought it sounded good. Maybe it was in reference to my capabilities. Underneath that was a neon sign shaped like a fist with the knuckles facing toward the viewer.

I immediately noticed the woman’s thick fur coat that dropped straight to the floor. It was from a notasta ferret. A tiny little beast of a creature that could squeeze out of any trap, could climb, fly, swim, and was faster than a greased bullet. It was said the best trappers could farm a mere handful a year and that was enough to live well, because the pelts were so highly valued.

This woman was wearing about twenty-five years’ worth of ferret fur to make a coat that length.

She was super wealthy.

On one hand, I liked wealthy people. I could bill them for my expenses and made-up expenses and the expense of making up my expenses. But on the other hand, wealthy people didn’t understand money. They didn’t comprehend you had bills, and that bills needed to be paid. Or when you gave them an invoice, it wasn’t just a suggestion or some pretty piece of paper with too many numbers and no plot.

I didn’t see any heraldry on the woman.

All the nobles had heraldry. That’s what classified them as nobles. Of course, “noble” wasn’t an official designation since Belvaille was a democracy. Heraldry indicated your family. Very few people could afford to live on Belvaille without being in a wealthy family or in the employment of one. Heraldry was simply a sign of our class system.

Some men wore their sigils plastered across their chests. Others would have a flunky walk behind them carrying it on a flag. At the very least it would be on rings or bracelets or medallions. Even household servants wore them.

Women tended to use them less since they could be a bit clunky.

Counterfeiting heraldry was a major crime. I couldn’t dream of affording my own seal. Not even if I sold all my possessions ten times over. And you had to pay every year on the nose to maintain it in the registry.

“Hello?” the woman called, carrying herself with that uptight air of superiority that only a noble could manage. “The door was open.”

I put my legs down and hopped up, pulling on some shoes as quick as I could.

“Sorry, my secretary is out running errands,” I said, neglecting to mention that I could only afford to keep my secretary part time. So “errands” likely meant searching for a better employer.

“You only have one?” the woman asked, confused.

Nobles were big on servants. Huge. Even I employed a butler and a maid. I had to or nobles wouldn’t take me seriously. That’s also why I had an office and why I had to wear fancy clothes that were uncomfortable.

I walked closer to the woman and got to see her features better.

She was both attractive and young. She had black hair with straight bangs that came to the very tops of her eyes. She had sharp cheekbones and a tiny chin which made her whole face look like it was smiling even though her lips were level. Her eyes were a pale blue and if they had been jewels, they would have been expensive. Her skin was almost porcelain smooth. There was a lot of good cosmetic surgery around, but I could still spot the phonies. She was for real. Her fur coat had a fuzzy half-hood that covered the top of her head and framed her face, so it was tough to make out much more detail.

“Yes, just one secretary. I like to keep things personal,” I said. “I work with sensitive information and don’t want to have too many employees hanging around.”

She nodded politely. Nobles were, if nothing else, polite. On my last job, when that father had paid me to rough up his daughter’s boyfriend, he gave me an inlaid apology note to send along.

“What can I help you with?” I asked.

I walked over to close the front door. As I neared it, I saw a half-dozen servants standing in my stairwell below. They were waiting patiently for their mistress to be done with me.

“I would like you to help me get a divorce,” she said.

Ah, relationship stuff. Easy money. I practically rubbed my hands together thinking about being able to pay my delinquent oxygen bill.

“Okay,” I said. “From whom?”

“Ray’Ziel,” she said simply.

I stood there staring at her to see if she was going to add anything. Like, “Haha, wouldn’t that be something to make you crap your pants?” Those words weren’t forthcoming, unfortunately.

“The City Councilman?” I asked.

“Yes. He is my husband,” she answered.

“Hmm,” I said, just to make noise.

This lady, if she sold her coat, her damn coat, could hire enough people to kill me, invent a device to bring me back to life, then kill me again. Her husband was one of the six most powerful people on Belvaille. He had whole solar systems at his disposal.

I could barely afford food.

“I just realized I have a lot of work right now,” I said, looking back at my desk as if some work would suddenly jump up waving its arms and give me undisputed proof.

“All I need you to do is observe him and let me know if you see anything I can use in a divorce. He won’t grant me one because he feels it would be injurious to his political career and family honor.”

I scratched my neck a good long while with my lips pursed.

“Have you asked him nicely?” I said.

“I need cause for a divorce. He has dealings all over the System, I just need proof.”

“You want to blackmail him?” I almost swallowed my tongue.

“I don’t mean business dealings. He sees…other people. It is an understanding we have,” she said impassively.

I was feeling light-headed. Even this tiny bit of information she’d told me, that the wife of a City Councilman wanted a divorce, was headline news. The Districts fought rabidly when it came to politics. The way Belvaille’s government worked was that every piece of legislation had to be agreed on unanimously by every other Councilman and then approved by the Governor.

Not a lot got done, really…

When everyone did compromise, it was often at the end of a stick. Or, I suspected, when they had dirt on each other. Maybe even dirt like this.

“Would you like a drink?” I asked her.

“Yes, please.”

I hurried to my liquor cabinet and poured myself one, which I slammed. I then refilled it and brought back two full glasses.

“So will you take my assignment?” she asked.

I drank my second drink.

“You see,” I started, “I’d really like to—”

“My concern,” she interrupted coolly, “is I’ve told you everything. If you don’t take me on as a client, we won’t be protected under Master-Servant Secrecy agreements and you could be forced to testify at trial.”

“Secrecy agreements? Is that a thing?” I asked dumbly.

“It is.”

“Oh.”

So now she was basically blackmailing me. Or threatening. Or whatever.

“You will be paid handsomely,” she said.

“I just got to have proof of him cheating on you?” I confirmed.

“It can be anything he would find more embarrassing than a divorce,” she clarified.

I didn’t see I had much of a choice. She just strongly hinted at some badness if I didn’t help her. Right now that was staring me in the face. The badness of angering her husband was not yet in view. Always avoid the conflict that’s closest to impact. The ones further down the road may never reach you.

“Fine,” I said, defeated.

She smiled beautifully.

“My name is Malla.” She offered her hand politely.

I took it.

“I will be in contact with more details shortly,” she stated, turning to go. She stopped in front of my door as if it were some unknown contraption of baffling origins.

I hustled over and opened it for her.

As she was slipping out, she faced me.

“One last thing. If you see anything unusual, particularly anything that might be dangerous to my husband, please let me know at once.”

“What? Dangerous?” As a City Councilman he was probably one of the most protected people in existence. What could I possibly notice that his army of security professionals couldn’t?

“Just use your best judgment. And recognize that I hate being surprised.”

CHAPTER 2

So now I was in a restaurant across the street from where I’d followed Ray’Ziel and his sizeable entourage. We were in the District he controlled, Education.

This District, and its corresponding Sector outside of Belvaille, housed every school, university, and trade college. If you wanted to learn anything, from how to make a basket, to how to build a spaceship, it was taught under his control.

He also had authority over all the scientists and engineers who made the Belvaille System their home, which was quite a lot of influence.

Still, he was probably the least important of all the City Councilmen. Education simply didn’t generate as much money as the other Districts. The others being Trade, Housing, Make, and Food.

Make was short for Manufacturing. My home was in the Make District—which was purely coincidental. I owned the building long before the Districts were ever mapped.

“Are you expecting your friends to arrive soon, sir?” the waiter asked me snobbily.

I was taking up a booth at the upscale restaurant and had been here for thirty minutes, not ordering any food because it was all too expensive.

“Any moment now,” I lied.

He sniffed and went away. He could see I didn’t have any heraldry and knew I wasn’t important. The restaurant was nearly empty so I didn’t know why he was concerned.

I poured some alcohol from a flask into my complimentary water. I didn’t normally drink while working but this was a boring job. I had been watching Ray’Ziel for a few weeks now.

It wasn’t easy following him. Mostly because he had access to places I didn’t, due to his wealth and prestigious position as City Councilman.

I was keeping all my receipts to bill his wife, but I was really concerned about spending too much. I hadn’t been paid anything up front and this was burning a hole in my wallet.

Ray’Ziel himself was an older man but handsome. He dressed well but not ostentatiously. He moved with the grace and confidence of someone who was incredibly important yet was so used to being important that he didn’t flaunt it.

In short, he looked everything I expected a City Councilman should look like. He was the first one I had ever seen in person. I simply had no need to ever view them. My line of work and theirs didn’t exactly intersect.

Except for now.

However, if Ray’Ziel had a mistress or two or did anything at all remotely scandalous, it must have been behind closed doors and in the four hours when he apparently slept. The man was constantly meeting with nobles, scientists, officials, working at City Hall, and visiting projects.

The only times I saw him alone with a woman was when he was with his wife, Malla. And even they weren’t alone when you counted all the servants and security.

As for anything dangerous that Malla had hinted about, there was nothing of the sort.

Belvaille was a very secure city nowadays. I had a License to Hurt, which I paid a substantial fee to maintain. I was allowed to carry “hand weapons,” but that was a vague term. Besides, there were too many police and security in the city to want to go around blasting people.

I had traded my firearms for a mostly non-lethal Gravitonic gun. It would fling a normal person ten feet on low power. On high power, it could…I don’t know, fling them more than ten feet. My gun had been designed by my friend, Delovoa.

I also carried some concussion grenades.

There were still lots of murders, and gang fights, and factional skirmishes among the nobles. But nearly all of it took place off Belvaille. There were too many fees involved with fighting on the station.

I was beginning to get a little buzz from my spiked water. I had the glass raised to my lips when:

Boom!

I was thrown out of my seat and rolled across the floor.

I looked around groggily for my drink, but it was gone.

I slowly got to my feet and saw tables and chairs overturned and that the entire side windows had been blown out. Restaurant patrons were on the ground in pain, or worse.

Ray’Ziel’s restaurant had been bombed!

I had survived bombs before. A lot, as a matter of fact. I was a mutant. I was bulletproof and I healed rapidly on the rare occasions I was injured. But bombs were definitely something I liked to avoid.

Across the street, the restaurant where Ray’Ziel had been dining was almost completely destroyed. The whole first floor was ripped and spilled open like the abdomen of an insect someone had stepped on.

I headed out to the street to try and get a sense of what happened.

As soon as I stepped outside, I saw two men dash out of Ray’Ziel’s building and go running down the street. I hesitated for a moment, as there was no way anyone should be standing, let alone sprinting, after being inside that blast zone. I was a dense mutant clear across the street and my head got rung so hard I would have a tough time counting backwards from three.

But I took off after them.

As a person, I was not cut out for dancing. Or higher mathematics. Or appreciating minimalist artwork—really, where’s the rest of it?

Or running.

The running part was obvious now, because these guys were fast, and I was not. They were tremendously fast considering they should by all rights be dead. If this was part of their daily exercise routine, I’m not sure I wanted to catch up to them.

They were about two blocks ahead of me and pulling away with each wheezy breath I took. They were too far away for me to use my gun, especially considering I hadn’t brought it with me.

They took a turn down an alley and I knew I had them. It was a dead end, due to Belvaille’s constantly shifting landscape. Nobles were always knocking down buildings and putting up new ones that were 95% the same as what they had just removed.

My big concern was what I would do to these guys when I reached them. I certainly wouldn’t challenge them to a race. My lungs were burning and my knees and feet ached. Because of my mutation, I didn’t usually worry about getting into fights. I could scrap my way out of most jams. I just couldn’t jog my way out of them.

In the alley I saw they had slowed down ahead of me and were looking for ways out. At the very least that told me they didn’t know this city. Or at least didn’t know it like I did.

They were about a block ahead now and I slowed down as well, mostly to recuperate and organize my thoughts. I didn’t want to come up on them sweating buckets and too winded to speak. I wouldn’t look like a very challenging opponent.

Not that I knew these guys were violent. Maybe they just happened to be there when a bomb went off. Happened to survive. Happened to think it was a great time to go for a run.

I mean, it didn’t seem especially likely, but I suppose it was possible.

The guys were big. Very big. I’d say about my size. I was a large person. Taller than average. I also weighed thousands of pounds because of my mutation. I didn’t look anywhere near that heavy—except when I was running. I was strong, but decidedly underpowered compared to my frame. Mutations weren’t universally good things.

The men’s clothes were wrecked. Scorched, torn, and blown away. So that told me they were in the explosion itself. Or maybe they ran so damn fast the wind burnt off their clothes. They were rugged guys, muscular in face and body, and looked similar to one another in appearance. As if they were brothers a few years apart. Neither of them had any hair. Their heads were completely bald. I wasn’t sure if it was genetics or because they shaved them to gain aerodynamics.

“So…” I began, as I got close enough for them to hear.

They turned to look at me briefly. Each then took a couple steps and jumped.

Up.

The alley was an alley because it was blocked on two sides by buildings and on the fourth side by a sheer steel wall about twenty feet in height. They hopped over that wall like they were walking up a stair.

They hadn’t even squatted down much or flung their arms or got a big running start. No, just, boop, over the wall. I stared up at it, dumbfounded. There were no wires or ropes or footholds or springboards. They had leapt over it without effort and with room to spare.

These guys were the greatest extreme athletes in the galaxy or something weird was going on.

As I was feeling around the wall looking for some trick and wondering if the blast had knocked my eyeballs loose, Garm came into the alley behind me.

“What did you do?” she accused.

I thought she was referring to my sweatiness and the fact I was out of breath.

“Nothing, I was chasing some guys.”

Garm was the former Adjunct Overwatch of Belvaille long ago. She had been involved in all kinds of crime while simultaneously being our liaison with the Colmarian Navy. Then she was a labor organizer. Now she had returned to her roots and was the leader of Belvaille’s elite Quadrad assassins.

Quadrad were born to be assassins. Trained from birth. There had been a whole planet of them at one time, but it was gone, obliterated in the civil war. Now all the remaining Quadrad seemed to have congregated here on Belvaille.

Under Garm’s leadership.

Garm was a looker. All muscle, short-cropped black hair. She had a mutation where she didn’t have to sleep. It left her constantly jittery, which was misleading, because she was a mountain of control.

I had dated her for a while as well. Before she had been put into suspended animation for a half-century.

“Did you murder the City Councilman?” she yelled.

“Me? No, I was working.”

“Working? Working on what?”

“Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked.

It struck me as incredibly convenient that the Quadrad chief happened to be hanging around when the biggest assassination in Belvaille’s history had taken place. That was assuming Ray’Ziel was truly dead, which wasn’t much of an assumption.

She recoiled and quickly recovered her composure.

“Nothing. But tell me honestly, did you kill Ray’Ziel?” she asked.

“Nothing? You were just waiting by this alley when you saw me run in? And just guessed that a City Councilman might have been killed?” I accused back.

What was her angle? Garm and I had very different motivations, especially in recent years. I was never fond of assassinations and whatever else she did. She was never fond of poverty and whatever else I did.

We heard the sirens of the District’s security forces.

“I won’t say a word if you don’t,” she bargained.

“Why should I protect you?” I asked her.

“I’m trying to protect you. You were caught leaving the scene!”

“Caught by you? Who is going to believe what you say? You’re a Quadrad.”

“And you’re a fat mutant thug with like a four-hundred-year history of doing stuff like this,” she said rather unkindly.

“I was following those two guys.”

“What guys?”

“They jumped over this wall.”

Garm looked up at it, then at me.

“That’s your alibi? You better come up with something better than that.”

“I don’t need an alibi!” I said.

The sirens were getting closer.

“You don’t have to convince me. Look, we shouldn’t be seen together. Take my advice and keep your mouth shut.”

She ran off, leaving me more confused than ever.

“Yeah, well, maybe I won’t!” Was all I could come up with.

Map

CHAPTER 3

I headed back to my place trying to figure out what just happened.

Should I call his wife, Malla?

Did I complete the job? Was that what she meant by report anything dangerous? What was Garm doing there?

And who were those wall jumpers? Even if they had placed the bomb, it seemed a pretty bad idea to want to be in the same building when it went off. Even if they could survive it, which was miraculous, they would have to leave the area. Why not just put it there ahead of time?

There were a lot of unusual beings in the galaxy. The old Colmarian Confederation had like 50,000 distinct species. Yet I didn’t know of any that could handle what those guys did.

Unless they weren’t Colmarians at all.

There were other empires outside of the former Colmarian space. They may have been Dredel Led. Robots. Dredel Led could look like anything since they were just machines. In the past, I had seen some appear like Colmarians—though pretty bad imitations.

A Dredel Led might be able to shrug off an explosion like that, run away, and then hurdle a wall.

They may also be mutants like me. But mutations were wildly unpredictable and different. Two guys with the exact same set of mutations was an almost impossible concept. Besides, it was the Colmarian Confederation that had forced mutations on its citizens. And the Colmarian Confederation was extinct. Mutants were slowly dying out and those guys looked far from old.

Of course, they could be something totally different. It was a big galaxy. Some wall-jumping, bomb-ignoring species that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

When I reached my front door, it was opened automatically by my butler, Cliston.

Cliston was a Dredel Led. He was my most prestigious claim to fame seeing as how everyone had forgotten all my past exploits. Well, they didn’t really forget them. Everyone who remembered had died of old age.

Cliston was built to be a butler. Literally, he was designed for it. He put out numerous pamphlets and manuals that other butlers used as their handbooks. He was the most famous butler on Belvaille, which was saying a lot.

He also took most of my money. Not for his salary, he spent it transforming my home and office to adhere to his exacting standards.

In appearance, Cliston was large and wide at the torso, his body forming a kind of inverted pyramid. His arms and legs were much more narrow and cylindrical. He had eight dexterous fingers on each hand and he was quick on his feet. His face had just two robot eyes and a speaker for a mouth. He was of course metal. His only ornamentation was black and white horizontal pinstripes across his frame.

“Sir,” he said, in his deep, proper, robotic baritone.

“Cliston,” I answered.

He closed the door behind me and removed my jacket.

“I detect sweat and smoke, sir. Would you care for me to launder your clothes and draw a bath?”

“Something to drink first, I think.”

“Very good, sir. And sir, should I call a medical technician for you?”

“No, I’m not hurt,” I said.

“It’s just that I noticed you missed the toilet today whilst urinating. Some splashed on the floor. It’s my understanding that Colmarians past the age of ten are more than capable of depositing waste properly.”

“Sorry, it was a late night that’s all.”

“And you were unable to bend over with a cloth and clean it up? Perhaps your back is injured?”

“I didn’t see it.”

“Maybe your vision is in need of correction? I understand that Colmarians sometimes require glasses.”

“No, I’m fine. Just a drink.”

“Very good, sir.”

He said it all without sarcasm. In fact, it was said with the utmost concern and dignity, as he always spoke and was only capable of speaking. But his point was clear. Cliston ran this house and I was just a tenant.

He could get a position at any mansion in the city. In fact, I suspected a number of my jobs came from curious nobles who wanted to stop by and see Cliston and his handiwork.

My apartment was quite grand. I never felt completely comfortable, however, because any time I wanted to let loose or slouch, a mechanical cough reminded me of my manners. I had a bit more leeway in my office since Cliston didn’t visit it as often.

He returned with a drink, perfectly made, and handed it to me while I sat in my stiff-backed golden chair and stared at a painting I didn’t understand and never would.

Cliston lingered after serving.

“Yes?” I asked him.

“I would like to congratulate you on securing a new assignment, sir.”

“How did you…thanks.”

“I would also like to take this opportunity to mention that you require an arch lez lounge.”

“I don’t even know what that is!”

“Then you shouldn’t object too much to having one,” he said.

“I haven’t been paid yet. I’m not sure I will. I have to think on it.”

“Please let me know when you have payment.”

He turned to go about his work.

“Cliston.”

“Sir?”

“Do you know of any Dredel Led that still make themselves look like Colmarians? Like with prosthetics and such?”

“No, sir. Despite our similar racial backgrounds we do not all know one another any more than all Colmarians know one another.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

I sat there in my fabulous home contemplating all the ways the city had changed.

The whole System had changed.

It used to be Belvaille was alone in the Ceredus System. Just a space station and countless Portals that allowed instantaneous ship travel to other parts of the galaxy.

Ceredus had been renamed Belvaille System and instead of being alone, there were now thousands of ships permanently anchored here. They all belonged to Sectors which corresponded to Districts in Belvaille. Belvaille had five Districts, each administered by a City Councilman. Extend the District lines out into space and those became the Sectors.

District and Sector were really synonymous, but it was another way to impose class distinctions. If you lived in one of Belvaille’s Districts, you were more prestigious than if you lived outside the city in the comparable Sector.

There was a mad scramble for resources when the Colmarian Confederation dissolved. You were worth exactly as much as you could grab and hold on to.

The Belvaille System was the nexus of that prosperity and it was solely because of the Portals.

If there was a planet that mined copper on one side of the galaxy and they wanted to trade it, or manufacture it, or sell it, they had to bring it to Belvaille. Even if it wasn’t directly refined here on one of the many factories floating in space, it would need to come here to use the Portals to reach its final destination.

And any ship that used the Portals had to pay tolls and taxes.

The amount of wealth that changed hands every day in the Belvaille System was astronomical.

I had once thought Belvaille was doomed and that the galaxy itself was headed for ruin. Yes, countless star systems had been laid to waste and others lost forever when their Portals were destroyed. But the galaxy wasn’t as pessimistic as me and it had recovered handily.

Belvaille was a square space station fifteen miles by fifteen miles. The population was probably a half-million. I wasn’t sure the population in the Sectors outside of the city. A billion, maybe?

The Belvaille space station was the height of technology. All the best scientists and engineers had been employed to rebuild and refurbish it and now it was the unofficial capital of the new Colmarian Empire.

Though no one used that name.

That was one thing people were decidedly tired of: empires. It was empires and alliances and factions that had caused the civil war.

People were happy to elect their city officials, who were invariably wealthy nobles. The simple reason for that was because no one made money in government. It was where you went when you had too much money. There were politicians who had taken office fantastically rich and left paupers.

There were no natural resources in Belvaille System itself. There was a small, distant planetoid that was used to grow some food, but other than the Portals there was nothing here. No star. Nothing. All the raw materials had to come from planets connected by Portals.

There were thousands of ships waiting to be admitted officially into the Belvaille System. You didn’t just show up and get welcomed. No. It was a long process and they wanted to make sure we had the facilities to accommodate every new addition and that the applicants had something to add to our society. They also had to divide up the newcomers into the appropriate Sectors without creating too much of an imbalance.

All the remaining known Colmarian Navy ships were under the Governor’s control to enforce tolls and keep the peace. It wasn’t much of a fleet. About twenty cruisers, maybe fifty or so destroyers, lots of frigates. Oh, and one dreadnaught with the ironic name of Shelter that was about 90% destroyed.

The dreadnaught had an estimated 250 years of repairs ahead of it. But I heard gossip that it could still move—slowly. If its cannons were working they would be able to blow up any ship or space station in the Belvaille System. Dreadnaughts had been the largest ships of the Colmarian Confederation, built with the purpose of planetary bombardment. So a bit overkill in the post-war era.

The dreadnaught did, however, remind you that the Colmarian Confederation had been capable of building great things.

Shelter was the last ship that still had an a-drive. So it was the only ship capable of reaching systems that no longer had Portals. But it was unclear if it would ever be made functional again because of the vast expense involved. It looked like so much floating junk.

But very scary junk.

CHAPTER 4

“Any calls or clients?” I asked my secretary the next day.

“I don’t know,” she said, not looking up from her tele.

My secretary, See-tah, was just…terrible.

She was seventeen years old, practically an infant. She was the daughter of a wealthy family from the Housing District and lived in a mansion. She arrived every day whenever she wanted in her own private car driven by a chauffeur. I didn’t even own a bicycle because the registration was too high.

She was pretty and had a pleasant voice and was a living organism, but that was the extent of her abilities.

I hadn’t spoken to Malla yet, but it was certain she knew her own husband was dead. I wanted to close that case as soon as I could and get away from it. I didn’t see much good that could come from being even incidentally connected to a City Councilman’s death.

I had brought my gun and grenades to work and I was making sure they were in order.

Grenades were grenades. Not much I could do with them except see they were in their bandolier and able to be removed.

While I loved my Gravitonic gun, it had a lot of dials and buttons and glowing knobs. Delovoa had tried to explain everything to me a hundred times, but I was too stupid to understand. I was always a bit afraid my gun would blow up.

In fact, I probably shouldn’t be messing with this in the office.

I put the gun in my desk drawer with my grenades.

“See-tah, can you get me a drink, please?” I asked. I was trying to train her to do things.

“Now?” she asked, as if it were the most demanding request anyone had ever made since gravity started insisting stuff attract each other.

“Yes, now.”

She stood up in a huff and went to the office bar. I had shown her what to do. I had even gotten Cliston to label all the glasses and decanters. She stared at them like a spoiled rich girl whose parents made her take a job in an attempt to teach her some values.

The office doorbell rang. See-tah stood rooted.

“The door, See-tah,” I nudged.

She turned to face me, throwing up her arms at the impossibility of it all.

“Which do you want?”

“The door,” I said.

I needed a new secretary. Anything. Like I could take a big pillow and draw a face on it and put it in the chair. At least I’d save some money.

She plopped over to the door and opened it as I walked to the bar to get my drink. I expected it would be Malla here to see me and I wouldn’t mind something to steady my nerves.

I heard boots on the floor.

I turned and saw soldiers file into my office. They just kept coming. There must have been twenty of them.

I did not pour my drink.

MTB pushed through the throng of soldiers in his Inspector’s uniform.

“Hank, you need to come with us,” he said.

I looked over to my desk and the weapons it contained.

MTB put his hand inside his coat.

“Unless you got a battleship in there, I wouldn’t try it,” he warned.

I was placed in the back of an armored car with MTB.

One thing that annoyed me about the new Belvaille was they had taken out all the trains. They needed the space to put up their giant new buildings.

For someone like me, that meant I had to walk. Or take a cab. Or bum a ride.

Or in this case, get arrested.

“What’s this about?” I asked MTB.

MTB had been my Deputy Kommilaire back in the day. He was a thick guy, square jaw, lived for police work. He thrived in the new Belvaille with all its laws and punishments. His piss was so clean it was a disinfectant.

“It’s not for me to say,” he answered, eyes forward.

“Your uniform was better as a Kommilaire,” I jabbed.

“We’re not called that anymore, you know that.”

“Oh, right. Central Officers of the Central Authority. Pathetic name.”

I tried to play it tough, but I was scared.

Each noble had a private gang and goons who did heavy work for him or her. And each District had its own police force, answerable to the City Councilman.

The Central Authority worked for the Governor alone. If you were being investigated by the Central Authority, you got religion right quick. C.O.’s were notorious for being incorruptible, unstoppable, and without mercy. They were the only law enforcement that worked across the entire System—at least the only force that was authorized to do so.

I saw where we were going soon enough.

City Hall, the tallest building in Belvaille. I think it was like seventy stories tall. Or a hundred. I don’t know. I can only tilt my head so far. It used to be ten stories when I first moved to this city a lifetime ago.

We parked and the cops escorted me out of the vehicle and to the main entrance. They didn’t have any weapons that could really hurt me, but I was on a space station, and there were twenty of them. Even if I managed to get out of this by fighting, what could I do? I wouldn’t get a block away before they brought out some heavy gear and nailed me to the wall.

Presumably I was going to get framed for Ray’Ziel’s death. Or at least asked about it.

Had Garm squealed on me? Would she do that to save herself? Maybe Malla did. That was one way to get out of paying me.

The inside of City Hall was packed with officials and nobles and C.O.’s. There were no District security forces allowed in here, only Central Authority.

I hadn’t been inside the new City Hall. It was very nice. Efficient. Bustling with the sense of Things Being Done.

Not that I could really appreciate any of that as I was led into an elevator. We got out and waited. MTB looked at his tele.

“Go in when they tell you,” he said.

And he simply left, taking all his C.O.’s with him. I was alone in City Hall. On like the 50th floor or something. Could I just walk out?

A small man in a business suit came by.

“Would you care for something to eat or drink?” he asked. It was not what you expected to hear after being picked up by the Central Authority. I mean, I was expecting a firing squad. At least someone to mess up my hair.

“Uh, no, I’m fine. Thank you.”

The man left.

I heard a bell and a door opened to the side of me.

An older woman stepped out with a clipboard.

“Hank?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“They’re ready for you now. Please head down the hall.”

She moved out of the way so I could enter. I looked back at her for confirmation, but then the automatic door closed.

It was a long, dark tunnel. Were they going to flood it? Poison me? Use me for target practice? I moved warily to the end and almost mashed my face against the far door it was so dark.

I stood there for a few minutes, sweating nervously.

“Hello?” I finally asked, my boredom overpowering my fear. If I was going to die, I didn’t want it to be of hunger. I should have gotten some food from that guy.

The door opened after some moments and I was dazzled by the light.

I stepped forward and was amazed. I was in the City Council chambers!

Sort of. I was at the bottom of it.

It was a room about four stories tall. Above me, it was divided into five main sections representing the Districts of Belvaille. Each had a raised area where the City Councilman sat. Underneath him were rows of chairs and tables filled by the most influential nobles of his District. There was one noticeably empty seat where a City Councilman should be. I felt very small and alone standing beneath all these people. I couldn’t exactly look up their skirts or anything, that was all covered of course.

There was a hole in the middle that separated them all and straight above me maybe twenty-five feet up sat the Governor himself! I mean, I was pretty sure it was him.

All the nobles, and City Councilmen, and the Governor, had a dozen dozen assistants running around. There were walkways going between the Districts and papers were handed and voices whispered. It seemed very chaotic, but because no one ran into each other or fell off and landed on me, I got the sense it was all rigorously structured.

I snapped out of my reverie when I heard my name.

“Hank and the issue of Ray’Ziel,” someone up there said.

“Yup? Hello?” I said.

But it seemed they forgot about me. They just went on exchanging notes and talking and buzzing about.

I was getting really hungry now that the initial shock of the situation had worn off, but then I heard the room go quiet and one of the City Councilmen spoke.

“Were you working for Ray’Ziel?” City Councilman Maris-To asked. Maris-To was the head of the Food District. I knew nothing about him other than he was the wealthiest person on Belvaille next to the Governor.

I immediately stood up straight. My normal instinct was to lie, but they didn’t drag me all the way in front of the City Council without knowing a thing or two about me.

“I was working for his wife, sir,” I said, my hands folded in front of me.

My neck hurt from looking up at such a sharp angle. I could see all the important people had monitors to view me. They didn’t have to look down.

“And what were you doing for his wife?” another Councilman asked.

I turned but didn’t see who said that. It was either the Manufacturing or Trade Councilman.

“I was watching her husband,” I said, facing the general direction of the speaker.

“Watching for what?” Maris-To asked.

I turned back around.

“Well—” I began, but I saw a messenger go from one of the nobles up to the Governor’s platform. That seemed like a big deal and I waited.

“Yes?” Maris-To prompted.

“Oh, I was looking to see if he was…unfaithful,” I said. I didn’t know what information they already had and I didn’t want to put myself in prison for lying.

“Unfaithful to what?” the Housing Councilman asked. Everyone knew of Onan Roan and he was the butt of many jokes in the System. He was the fattest Colmarian I had ever seen. He wore yellow and it looked like a miniature star was rising over his District’s seating area.

“To his wife,” one of the Councilmen behind me said, annoyed.

“Is this true?” Maris-To asked.

I spun back. I was getting dizzy.

“Yes, sir.”

There were a lot of mumbles and grumbles and a half-dozen messengers all scurried between the Districts passing papers.

“And you were paid to do this?” I’m pretty sure the Trade Councilman asked.

“I didn’t do it for free,” I blurted, and immediately regretted being sarcastic.

Fortunately, there were a few chuckles.

“Hank,” I heard a creaky voice say.

I looked straight up and saw it was the Governor, Vorrin-Gortail, speaking.

He had been elected just last year in a very contentious race with Maris-To. He was from the Trade District. He was an elderly man with not a wisp of hair left. He wore an old-fashioned suit and he wore it well. You could see he was a powerful person despite his diminutive form.

“Yes, sir,” I squeaked.

“It is our understanding you have been on Belvaille for quite some time. Centuries,” he said.

It suddenly struck me that I had been on this station not only longer than everyone in this room, but likely several hundred years longer. That was pretty annoying. Here I was, staring up at the bottoms of their shoes and they were practically newcomers to my city.

Then again, I didn’t command billions of miners or own the rights to farm a hundred planets.

“That is correct, sir. Your Governorship,” I amended, not knowing the protocol. “I have resided here since Belvaille was in the state of Ginland. There are a handful of people who have lived here longer but they’re dying off.”

“You seem remarkably spry,” he said.

“I’m a mutant, sir.”

There were more mumbles and muttering and talking and notes passed.

“Belvaille wasn’t as orderly as it is today. Is that correct?” Onan Roan asked.

“That is correct.”

“Could you tell us some of what you did during those times?” Maris-To asked politely.

I looked around. Were they trying to get me to implicate myself? To detail my centuries of busting heads and gang wars and every other illegal activity? I mean, it wasn’t still illegal, right? The empire it took place in was gone.

Still, I couldn’t think of anything good that would come from airing my dirty laundry in front of the most influential people in the System.

“I wouldn’t want to waste the Council’s time,” I said humbly.

“Please,” the Governor prompted. Yet it felt like more than a casual request.

They poked and prodded as I spoke, asking me to clarify and back up and repeat. At first it was just the highlights, and I skipped the gory details, then I had to go back and make it chronological because I was losing track. It was clear these people were no dummies. They spotted any holes and fabrications. It must have gone on for hours because I had lost my voice at the end and I was terribly tired.

I left out tales of Garm, Delovoa, and the other lawbreakers I knew who were still alive. No reason to incriminate anyone else. I figured I gave them enough information to incarcerate me for the next 10,000 years.

“You have heard of what happened to our beloved colleague, Ray’Ziel,” Maris-To said.

“I was across the street when it happened,” I answered, practically jumping into my coffin with that admission.

Lots of murmurs.

“You see,” the Governor said, “we cannot go back to the way things were on Belvaille. The way things were in your past.”

“I didn’t do it! I swear!” I blurted. They had worn me out, but now that I sensed the hammer coming down, I got a shot of adrenaline.

They ignored me.

“We would like to hire you to find out the exact circumstances of City Councilman Ray’Ziel’s death,” Maris-To said.

“Huh?” I reasonably asked.

“Are you available? Your connections and experience in such matters, I think we can all agree, make you an excellent candidate. We must have stability in this System,” the Governor said.

Lots of murmurs of agreement.

I was so not prepared for this.

“Sure,” I shrugged. Not only was I not going to die, not going to jail, I had a job!

“You will coordinate and keep in contact with my office,” Maris-To said.

“Um. How much does it pay?” I asked.

“We have a fee schedule completed that needs your approval,” Maris-To stated.

I heard a woosh and there was suddenly a stack of papers next to me on the ground. I picked it up and began leafing through it. It must have been 150 pages of small fonts. When did they manage to write this?

I guessed I made about 500,000 credits a year—I wasn’t entirely sure, Cliston kept track of everything. It was just enough to stay alive and live in Belvaille style.

Credits were our new form of currency. I hated them. They were tiny plastic ribbons with electronics in them. They were super easy to lose and, in my case, accidentally tear.

Flipping through the City Council contract, I saw so many numbers. Numbers and numbers and numbers. And none of them were round numbers. They hated zeroes. I stopped on the fourth page and read something about what I would be reimbursed for parking on holidays. There’s just no way they wrote this in a day. They must have used a pre-existing contract.

I tried to find a subtotal somewhere but I didn’t see one.

“You don’t have to give us your answer now,” the Trade Councilman said testily.

I had been standing here for some minutes as civilization’s lawmakers watched me read.

“Oh, right. Okay,” I said, putting the contract under my arm. I already knew I was going to say yes. The pay was huge. If I did nothing but park on holidays I would make more than I do now.

And it would make me like…a real guy to be working directly for the City Council. I could get good jobs after this and not just ones where I had to locate someone’s lost dog. I’d let them know in a few days so I wouldn’t seem desperate.

They dismissed me and I made my way out of City Hall, a huge smile on my face.

“You know me, Hank, I’ll give you a fair deal if you’re the one that done it. You and I go a long way back. But that won’t stop me from busting you,” MTB said, as soon as I stepped foot outside.

He was leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

“Did what?” I asked, confused.

“Killed Ray’Ziel.”

I snorted so hard I almost inhaled my nose.

“Do you think I murdered Ray’Ziel and then got myself hired to find his killer?” I asked, waving my contract.

“I think that’s exactly what you did. I’ve known you to do worse in the past.”

“Worse, maybe, but not even I could pull off a trick like that. I’m not a magician. You should be looking for some bald mutants. Or robots. Kind of my size. I saw them at the explosion.”

“Big bald mutant robot bombers?” MTB asked woodenly.

It did sound kind of dumb.

“Don’t you have other things to do than hassle me?” I asked.

“This is my job. Killing a City Councilman. That’s Old Belvaille. Man that gets arrested for that is going to have his head chopped off and mounted at the port.”

“Good luck cutting through this thick neck, MTB.”

“For you, Hank, I think the executioner would take as long as he had to.”

CHAPTER 5

“Lift your foot please,” Cliston said, as he was dressing me.

I had to go to a funeral and had no idea what to wear. Cliston usually dressed me when it came to things like this. At first I would only take his suggestions, feeling stupid having another person, or robot, in his case, put on my clothes. But he did it faster and better and it left me able to do other things.

Like try and understand this contract.

“I should be hiring some new kitchen and cleaning staff,” Cliston stated.

“What? I can barely afford what I have.”

I turned to him, but he gently straightened my head so I wouldn’t crease my clothes.

“I see that is a new work order, however.”

I didn’t mind Cliston reading over my shoulder. He probably couldn’t help it. He could see a speck of dust from across the room and make it wish it had never been specked.

“Can you make sense of this?” I asked him.

“It is dependent upon duration. But overall it seems a substantial increase on what you normally manage to earn, sir.”

“How substantial?”

“Orders of magnitude,” he said.

“What do I get if I actually find the killer? Is there some big bonus at the end?”

“The contract is completed from what I gather.”

“That’s it?” I asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“Can you call me a cab?” I asked Cliston sheepishly. He disliked me riding in them. He felt they were undignified and dirty. He had been trying to strong arm me into buying my own car, but they were far too expensive.

“I believe mistress Garm will be offering you a ride in her vehicle,” he said.

“Garm?”

The doorbell rang. I felt a small gust of air as Cliston accelerated out of the room, down the hall, and to the front door, which he answered a few seconds after the bell.

I looked at myself in the mirror. It was not difficult getting used to having the greatest butler on Belvaille. I looked like a million credits. My clothes fit well and were not terribly uncomfortable despite their appearance.

I exited my dressing room and Cliston was back in front of me. I don’t know how he got around so fast without shattering all my furniture, but he did.

“Mistress Garm here to see you. Should I say you are available?”

“I’ll go. Thank you, Cliston.”

“Very good, sir.”

He took off to make sure every beam of light in the house was evenly distributed.

Garm was at the front door dressed all in black. Black synth. Thigh-high boots. A leather mini-skirt. A short jacket that exposed her mid-riff and forearms.

“Garm,” I said. “What pretext brings you here?”

“Tamshius is being put to rest.”

“You hated Tamshius,” I said skeptically. “And you’re not exactly in mourning attire.”

Garm and Tamshius had come from the same solar system, though different planets. They always despised one another.

“We all pay our respects differently,” she answered.

We rode in her armored limousine to the funeral.

“I heard you were hired to find out who killed the City Councilman,” she said, as soon as we started moving. Clearly Garm was searching for something.

“Maybe,” I said, trying to be evasive.

“Tell me honestly, did you kill him?” she asked.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me what you were doing there after the bomb went off.”

She chewed that over.

“The Quadrad were hired to protect him,” she conceded.

“Hah!” I blurted, before I saw her scowl. “You serious? That can’t be good for your reputation.”

“It isn’t. Now, did you kill him?”

“Why would I kill a City Councilman? I wouldn’t take that job no matter what they paid me. And bombs aren’t exactly my style.”

“You don’t even have a style. Your butler has style,” she said.

“So why do you want to know about Ray’Ziel? Your job failed. You can’t resurrect him,” I said.

“We were also hired to avenge him if he was killed.”

Typical Garm. She didn’t tell me that part beforehand. If I had confessed to the murder, would she have attacked me in this car? She couldn’t hurt me directly, but she knew that, and she was hardly a novice at tactics.

“Man, it seems like everyone is looking for his killer,” I said.

“Who else is?”

“MTB. And I guess his Central Officers. Though he thinks I did it,” I sulked.

“People know you’re short on money.”

“Really? How?”

She shrugged.

“You’re living on Belvaille and don’t own any planets.”

“You don’t own any planets,” I countered.

“No, but I work for people who do. But maybe we can help each other,” she offered.

“Are you going to kill the murderers if we find them?”

“What do you care, if you solve the case?”

“I’ll have to read my contract. I’ll let you know.”

I didn’t trust Garm. She was far craftier than I was. She didn’t sleep. While I was busy snoring, she was still scheming.

How can you outthink someone like that?

The funeral wasn’t much.

Those who died on Belvaille were cremated. You can’t have a bunch of caskets floating in space that ships run into and real estate was too precious for cemeteries.

Tamshius had been an old time gang boss. He was one of the few people who had been on Belvaille before me. He had retired ages ago and ran a soup shop.

The funeral was sad.

Not Tamshius’ death. He was old. Old people die. And he had long since stopped really living in any meaningful way.

It’s just that there were only a handful of ancient men and women present. They wore shabby clothes, five sizes too big for their tiny frames. A few had on the heraldry of minor nobles, maybe having the dubious distinction of wiping down furniture so the owner could brag that they employed a real live gang boss from the primordial days of Belvaille.

Garm walked over to the coffin, spat on it, and walked away.

“I’ll be in touch, Hank,” she said, and then left.

I didn’t much go to weddings. Weddings didn’t mean anything. Those were just words, no matter what people said. I went to funerals. A funeral was the real deal. Tamshius wasn’t going to have a second or third funeral or a bunch of ex-funerals.

The two truly important moments in a person’s existence were birth and death. And no one knew anything about you at birth other than you had a round head—depending on your species.

There was a reception after the funeral and I drank punch and ate cookies. A man approached and sat next to me.

“Hank?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“I am the attorney for Tamshius. He has left you something in his will.”

This struck me as very odd. While we did go back hundreds of years, I wouldn’t consider us very good friends.

The man seemed to catch my confusion.

“Not many other people left,” he said, indicating the sparse attendance.

“What is it?” I asked, hoping it was money. Tamshius had been quite wealthy at one point.

“His soup restaurant. You will be required to pay taxes on it, I’m afraid.”

What a jerk!

“What am I going to do with a soup shop? Can I refuse to take it?” I asked.

Tamshius had his little ramshackle business in the northeast of Belvaille. It was now the Trade District and one of the most highly taxed regions in the whole city.

“I’m afraid not. You can sell the restaurant, but you’ll still have to pay the initial taxes. And then taxes when you sell it,” he said.

He was doing this on purpose! I must have pissed him off somehow and now he was reaching out from the grave to bankrupt me.

“You’ll need to sign some documents. It won’t take more than a moment of your time,” the attorney said, standing.

But maybe I was wrong. I hadn’t been to the restaurant in years. Maybe Tamshius had fixed it up. The whole city had changed. It was possible.

“You’ve seen the restaurant lately?” I asked.

“Yes. I had to do the assessment and write up the will.”

“Is it any good?” I inquired.

“No,” he answered flatly.

CHAPTER 6

There it was, my very own soup kitchen. Squatting between two massive bank buildings like an ugly bastard they were ashamed of but couldn’t abandon for legal reasons.

It was one floor. Dilapidated. Workers on adjacent buildings had thrown their trash from renovations and repairs on top of the store.

Every region had its own architecture. Its own designs. The northeast of Trade was stuffy and imposing. Lots of hard angles. There was no soul to this area. It felt like the temperature was a few degrees lower than the rest of the city. Maybe it was.

This was one of the swankiest areas of Belvaille, where much of the high-level financing took place. Whole asteroids of minerals bought and sold. Planets put to labor. Deals beyond imagining.

And a tiny soup restaurant.

I wondered immediately if I could sell the land. Presumably it was worth something. The parcel was just so narrow. What was I going to do with this thing?

The restaurant had a padlock on it. A real life padlock with a metal key. It was almost comical.

The insides were, amazingly, worse than the exterior. The place had been bad when I was last here, and it had deteriorated since then. The seats were uneven, the tile floor cracked, only half the lights worked, the counter was dirty, and the kitchen was small. I checked the cash register and it was empty.

Screw you, Tamshius!

I had been given a big envelope with the deed. It had the key to the restaurant, an incredibly long recipe for a type of soup, and a short note from Tamshius:

Hank. If you are reading this, I am gone from this reality. Please drink a bowl of Tamkian soup to my passing. I spent many years perfecting it. The recipe is enclosed.

Tamkian? I wondered if he named that after himself. There were dozens of pages of instructions. For a soup.

I just didn’t feel like dealing with it.

I exited and thought about leaving the door unlocked. There was nothing to steal. The place certainly hadn’t sold any food in years. But I locked the door and turned to go.

I pocketed the key and as I was walking away, I stopped in my tracks.

Right across the street, staring at me, were the two guys who had run away from the building where Ray’Ziel had been killed!

It was definitely them. They were wearing suits now, but had the same bald heads and muscular builds.

“You!” I called out to them.

And they ran off.

I sighed because I knew I couldn’t catch them. I hadn’t even officially taken the contract to find the killers. And if I did catch them, the job would end and I wouldn’t get paid.

I wrestled with all this a moment and then ran after them anyway.

We wove through a few streets, heading further east and south.

I rounded a corner and suddenly sprawled out on the ground. One of the men had tripped me. They had been pressed against the wall.

As I was getting to my feet the other one jumped in the air and punched me with so much force my head rang off the metal sidewalk.

I blacked out for a few seconds.

The next thing I knew I was being lifted off the ground by one of them.

He appeared very calm.

He turned and threw me against the side of a building, where I smashed into it face first. I must have flown fifteen feet through the air. And I’m not a light guy.

I’m a really heavy guy, actually.

I slumped to the ground, blinking my eyes, trying to focus.

“Hey,” I managed to slur, and one of my front teeth dribbled from between my lips.

The two men walked away and I slid on my side, contemplating the beauty of my inner eyelids.

I woke up in bed.

“I’ve sent for the jeweler to come tomorrow, sir,” Cliston said. “I was thinking a diamond capped in gold.”

“What?” Cliston often forgot us biologicals needed a moment to wake up and gather our thoughts.

“You are missing a tooth, sir. It needs to be replaced.”

I whistled out of my mouth.

“It will regrow,” I said, knowing my mutation would take care of it—eventually.

“Sir, you can’t go around without a tooth. It isn’t appropriate.”

“Hang appropriate. How did I get here?”

I started to rise from the bed but my head throbbed and I quit.

“The Central Authority delivered you. Quite unconscious. Your friend MTB.”

“He’s not my friend.”

But that meant he was watching me. Though not closely enough to prevent my ass-whupping by those bald guys.

I’d been beat up a lot in my life. It was kind of my occupation. But I had never been manhandled by someone so small, so easily. This went back to my idea that they were really Dredel Led.

If they were normal flesh and blood their bodies couldn’t hold the musculature to toss me around like that. It would rip their arms off to generate that much force. I mean, they didn’t even so much as strain or grunt when they were throwing me around.

And what were they doing out there? Was it random that they happened to see me? Were they tracking me because I saw them at the explosion? Were they looking to buy soup?

Cliston was still talking at me.

“…some stainless steel incisors that are dulled to a matte finish, so they aren’t unduly flashy.”

“I’m not buying teeth!” I barked, though it didn’t have much authority as the “th” sound gave a slight hiss. I sulked for a moment and Cliston handed me a silver tray.

“I have scheduled an appointment with Maris-To’s office per the City Council contract instructions. I strongly advise securing this job before they give it to someone else, sir.”

Cliston wasn’t one to strongly advise on anything. It must be worth a freighter full of money.

“Good enough,” I said.

“However, you are not going to present yourself to the City Councilman of the entire Food District with a missing tooth.”

I sighed.

“Pick something out, then.”

“As I said, he is coming tomorrow, sir.”

CHAPTER 7

I felt like a tacky pimp, though that was a bit redundant.

Cliston had assured me that my new diamond tooth was the height of sophistication, but I just didn’t feel it. On the cab ride to Maris-To’s, I asked the driver what he thought of my new denture. He dodged by saying he had to keep his eyes on the road.

Maris-To’s mansion took up a whole city block in Food District and was thirty stories tall at its highest point.

The insides were imposing but comfortable. I had expected all kinds of food motifs, like bread and fruit and meat and synthetic beans. But there was no indication that this was anything other than the fantastically wealthy abode and office of a fantastically wealthy family.

His heraldry was an open eye with three pupils on a diamond plane. The eye had wavy lines extending from the bottom like eyelashes and sharp lines on top. Examples of this heraldry were embossed and emblazoned all throughout the building.

Scores of officials came and went and servants were abuzz buffing and scrubbing every corner and crevice. Once someone left the mansion, a servant was immediately deployed to remove the invisible footprints the person had made.

I clutched my contract like a shield. I never felt comfortable in places like this. I was always afraid they were going to find out I was a gutter thug and kick me out. These weren’t my people. I could wear the clothes and eat the food, but in my heart I felt like a fraud. I just wanted to hand in the signed contract and leave.

I was led by a servant through a series of elevators and rooms and finally deposited outside a set of massive double doors where I waited on a hard stone bench.

After some time, the doors were opened and I was allowed in.

Maris-To himself came out to greet me!

“Welcome to my humble home,” he said with a straight face.

I didn’t expect to meet Maris-To in person. I didn’t expect to meet any City Councilman in person.

Maris-To was a handsome, middle-aged man. He had a thin face and was dressed in lots of flowing, loose black clothes. He wore surprisingly little jewelry except a few small rings and a chain.

His most prominent feature was his luxurious, long white hair with layers of perfectly sculpted curls. It went down to his back. He wasn’t old enough for white hair and I suspected it was a genetic trait, a dye job, or a wig. I had seen pictures of him and his family with this hairstyle. It was a trademark of theirs. Literally, they had probably filed for trademark protection on that hair. I’m surprised he wasn’t perpetually staring at the ceiling because it seemed too heavy for his slim neck.

I checked to see if Maris-To had the three-pupil anatomical characteristic that his heraldry displayed, but he had normal brown eyes. Then again, heraldry possessed all kinds of weird meanings.

I thrust out the contract and smiled, then remembered my false tooth and closed my lips.

He looked down at the wrinkled papers briefly.

“Come in,” he said, not taking the contract and not touching me, though gesturing slightly.

I thudded into the office, which must have been nearly as wide as the whole building. I could make out distant paintings and sculptures and I think there was a gymnasium in the corner.

We sat on some very plush chairs that looked uncomfortable but they morphed to fit your body. After a moment, I felt a slight tingling.

“What…what’s that?” I asked, looking around.

“The chairs provide a light massage,” he said, and I could hear his voice vibrate.

“Oh. I have very dense skin. I won’t really feel it,” I said sadly.

“They are adjustable.” And he indicated the controls at the side of the chair.

I turned up the dial and I didn’t hear the next few sentences that Maris-To said. Not because of vibration, but because I had become stupefied with pleasing sensation.

I needed one of these chairs! I would have to tell Cliston. I was probably using half the electricity in Belvaille to stimulate my lower back, but it felt great.

I got the idea he was talking to me and he looked very serious, so I reluctantly turned off the chair.

“…to settle some disputes I have,” he said.

“What?” I asked. “Sorry, I was distracted by the chair. It’s great.”

“Would you like me to send you one?” he asked casually. “Cliston works for you, correct?”

Figures he knew my butler.

“Yes, sir.”

“Quite a coup securing his services. But it lets me know you appreciate the value of your servants. As do I.”

“Yes,” I said simply, as he made it clear I was supposed to respond and I didn’t want to disappoint someone who was giving me a chair.

“I was saying that I need you to handle some delicate issues on one of the outer ships in the System.”

“Uh, what about the contract?”

“It will still be in force. In fact, it allows me to use your services without undue attention,” he said.

I felt like I was walking in some dangerous territory and I didn’t understand where or why.

“Do you not want me to investigate the murder of Ray’Ziel?” I asked.

Maris-To gave me a slight smile.

“Hank, do you consider yourself an unintelligent person?” he asked.

How do you answer that? If he was a normal guy and this was a normal place, I’d take offense. But he wasn’t a normal guy and this sure as hell wasn’t a normal place.

“I do okay,” I hedged.

“Good. I wouldn’t want to think I was hiring a dull servant. It is obvious who killed the beloved Ray’Ziel,” he said.

And he ended, as if there was to be no further discussion. But the unintelligent in me just couldn’t leave it alone.

“It’s obvious?” I asked.

“Who were you working for prior to his death?”

I sat there thinking.

“It’s not a trick question,” he pushed. “Who was your most recent employer?”

“His wife?”

“His incredibly beautiful and youthful wife. His wife with exotic tastes who was married to an old curmudgeon who kept her on a short leash. A woman who couldn’t have her more outlandish impulses indulged due to political concerns. Who saw almost none of the vast riches that Ray’Ziel possessed. And who spent nearly every hour of the day locked in his home or attending him at some boring function or other.”

I blinked a few times.

“So, her?” I asked.

“Malla. Yes. She is now in possession of his entire fortune and is free to do whatever she wishes.”

“So should I just arrest her?”

Maris-To looked surprised.

“She was a powerful and dangerous woman before, but now she is exceedingly so. I would stay well away from her if I were you.”

I was confused.

“But why would she hire me if she killed him?”

Maris-To seemed bored with the subject that I had supposedly come here to talk about.

“You are her proof that she didn’t kill him. She hired a renowned cutthroat to protect her husband.”

Did he just call me a “renowned cutthroat”? Is that how these people thought of me?

“But I still get the contract, right?”

“Yes. But you will be working for me performing assignments. Submit a report now and then on the Ray’Ziel issue.”

“But…don’t actually do anything?”

He gave an exasperated smile.

“That is correct. No one needs proof Malla murdered her husband. Those of us in power already know it as fact. If she is wise she will stay relatively quiet and not make us pursue this ugly matter.”

Man, remind me never to get murdered as a politician. What was that show in the City Council chambers if they didn’t want me to actively pursue it? Was that just for public consumption? Whatever. If I got paid, I didn’t amazingly care.

“My servant has the details of what you’ll be doing,” he continued, and he rose from his chair.

I did as well, though I felt very little had been resolved.

“Thank you for coming by.” He turned and walked deeper into his cavernous office.

“Do you want the contract? I signed it.”

He didn’t quite face me, though he paused walking.

“Leave it with my servant. Good afternoon,” he said.

“Good afternoon,” I echoed.

Though I wasn’t entirely sure it had been.

CHAPTER 8

I hadn’t opened the sealed documents from Maris-To. I was trying to figure out the stuff I was already involved in before starting anything new.

It was not totally unreasonable that Malla would hire me with instructions to keep an eye on her husband—with the added clause of looking for anything dangerous. That second part was odd at the time and I should have taken more notice.

There was no way I could have known about that bomb, let alone stopped it. But if Malla ever got dragged in front of a criminal court, she could say she did her best to try and save her poor husband by hiring me.

What a virtuous woman.

Garm had mentioned the Quadrad were also hired to protect the City Councilman. I had a harder time seeing Malla enlisting those guys if she really wanted to off her husband. They were actual professionals. They had a decent chance of stopping an assassination, unlike me.

So probably Ray’Ziel had hired the Quadrad, maybe even suspecting his wife was out to get him. That must have made for a lively home life. Then again he was a City Councilman and they had a lot of enemies, so he might have hired the Quadrad as a matter of course.

In any case, Maris-To was right. I didn’t want to have anything to do with Malla, who was now one of the wealthiest women in the System and maybe a murderer and maybe didn’t want me to know that.

I looked at Tamshius’ will and soup recipe. I needed to do something with that. I couldn’t afford to keep his restaurant.

I mean, I could keep it if I kept getting jobs like this one. Where I was supposed to search for a killer I already knew, yet was not supposed to do anything about it.

I took a cab back to the dingy soup shop and opened it up.

The recipe was thorough.

There were countless steps and at each junction, it had pictures and detailed calibrations to let me know if I was doing it correctly. I had to sample the viscosity at fifteen minutes, the color at twenty-five, sieve out the film floating on top, use gauges and measures and filters.

After I had thrown out my sixth batch I decided I would do one last attempt and then Tamshius would just have to deal with me not souping to his memory.

After hours, I was left with a bowl of soup that passed all of the rigorous standards in the recipe.

I took a sip and almost spit it on the floor. It was horrible!

I reread all the instructions. I looked at the final picture and my results. It was a match. Was Tamshius just a completely spiteful person? Had he saddled me with this debt and was now trying to poison me?

He was probably having a good belly laugh in whatever afterlife he occupied.

I held my nose and downed all the soup.

It burned my throat and stomach and even my sinuses. Nothing did that! I was a mutant. Was this stuff toxic?

I rinsed my mouth out for a long while over the sink.

“Screw you, Tamshius,” I said to the restaurant.

I then headed home to try and sleep off the nasty taste.

I woke sometime in the middle of the night to a weird noise.

I hurried to my front door and threw it open. I was about halfway down the street when I realized the noise was me.

Screaming.

The city was a blur as I ran by. Whatever I was doing, it made sense. Kind of like when you have a bad fever. You don’t second guess your hallucinations because the thing you would use to second guess them, your brain, was malfunctioning.

I was just running down the street screaming, flailing my arms, minding my own business.

The police appeared at some point seeing as it was late at night in a nice section of the nice space station.

This suddenly enraged me.

I was so angry!

There were about five Manufacturing District police cars and a van. I saw a lot of security forces, a lot of guns. It made me furious. I don’t know why.

I ran straight at the police van and hit it head first and knocked it over.

The security forces, with nothing better to do, began firing at me.

Why?

I jumped at one bastard who was wearing full body armor. My primary mode of fighting, when I didn’t use a gun or grenades, was to wrestle. I was simply too slow to throw a good punch or kick and my vast weight usually provided a tremendous advantage in grappling.

But I punched this guy. An uppercut. Probably something I had never done in my life.

His helmet shattered like an egg and I saw him fly up into the air like he had springs for legs. I dashed forward and punched him again before he hit the ground.

There weren’t so many people firing at me after seeing that. There were a lot of people running away, however.

This also made me mad.

I took off after one of them. He flung his rifle behind to try and trip me. I caught it and broke it in half over my face without slowing down. I hated rifles! I hated this road! I hated this city!

I caught up to the policeman and he looked at me in horror. I was vaguely aware that I was still screaming. I’m not sure if I had ever stopped. He screamed too.

I ran past the man. I hated slow people. They were so slow.

I skirted around a corner and saw the C.O.’s. The Central Authority with their armored vehicles. MTB was in front.

That guy was always following me even though I never did anything wrong! I headed straight toward him.

He made a signal with his arm and then he hurled something. It bounced on the road in front of me.

I hated grenades.

The device didn’t exactly explode, but it ruptured, and thin wires crisscrossed my whole body, particularly my legs.

I struggled onward, snapping and bending and twisting the constricting wires.

He threw another at me and it landed in front and to the right. It not only reached out and grabbed me, but it was anchoring me to the spongy surface of the street.

I had to close my mouth because I felt the cable trying to snake in. I was slowing considerably and the more I struggled, the tighter the wire became.

He threw another that practically hit me in the waist.

It exploded with so much wire I couldn’t see. I was encased in the stuff.

I knew he was over there, though, so I kept pushing. I could feel the coils digging into my flesh as others broke and sprung free. But I couldn’t generate enough momentum. I was stuck. I couldn’t even fall over.

This, I really hated!

CHAPTER 9

I came to in prison.

I mean, I was pretty sure it was prison. It was a small room with bars on one side, a toilet, and a bed. There were similar small rooms similarly barred across the hall.

It was either a prison or a store where they sold prison accessories.

What happened? I had some vague memories.

I heard footsteps and MTB walked in with a chair and sat in front of my cell.

“How do you feel?” he asked me.

I stood up. Shook my head around. Flexed my hands.

“I feel great,” I said, surprised. “Though I’m not sure why I’m here. I didn’t kill Ray’Ziel.”

“You don’t remember going on a rampage?” he asked, skeptical.

I thought back. I did remember some things. Why did I do all that?

“‘Rampage,’ that’s a bit melodramatic, isn’t it?”

“You injured a half-dozen police in two Districts, three C.O.’s, and four unlucky people who just happened to get in your way.”

I stared at him.

“You’re kidding.”

“When have you known me to be kidding?” he said accurately.

“I don’t remember any of that. I remember you using some wire bombs on me,” I said, annoyed.

“That you remember? Out of everything?”

“Well…it hurt.”

“It was supposed to cripple you.”

“Why would you try and cripple me? We worked together for years.”

“You were throwing around police cars and heading straight for us. I tried stopping you and you didn’t want to be stopped.”

“I can’t throw around cars,” I said. “I’m strong but not that strong.”

“Look at you, you’re not even hurt. You don’t have a scratch. Well, a few on your face, but you’re in a lot better shape than those people in the hospital. When you had your body…changed, was this part of the process?”

There was a time I was much larger than I was now. It was a side effect of my mutation. I grew denser and denser every day. Decades ago I was near death because I had become so thick that my organs were failing. But I got a second chance when a mutant with pretty much godlike power remade my body and erased centuries of mutation. I was now a lot weaker, but at least I wasn’t having regular heart attacks due to my massive weight.

Still, I was never as strong as MTB described.

Why did I leave the house? I recalled being so angry. Not at anything in particular. Just angry. Angry enough to go running—which was angry indeed.

MTB jerked me out of my daydreaming.

“Hank. What do you have to say?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was adrenaline?” I hazarded.

“Adrenaline from what?”

“A nightmare?” I smiled weakly. “I was asleep right before.”

MTB sat there glowering.

“You didn’t look asleep.”

“Well, I do have a License to Hurt, that should cover things, right?” I asked.

“Are you serious? That doesn’t apply to police!”

“Oh. So am I going to face trial?”

It didn’t matter too much about what jobs I had if I really did beat up some District cops and C.O.’s. I’d be in jail for a long while.

But now MTB looked uncomfortable.

“No. You posted bail.”

“I did?” I asked, surprised. “You’re letting me out?”

“I’m not letting you do anything. Even the Central Authority reports to people.”

I was collecting my things, which consisted of my underwear—they had been kind enough to let me wear a prison jumpsuit—when I saw Malla waiting in the lobby.

My heart skipped a beat.

I had a moronic hope that she was here to see someone else. Like she knew a bunch of people in prison.

“Hank,” she smiled, standing.

She was alone. And she was wearing a different notasta ferret coat than she had been wearing before. How could anyone have so much money?

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I had you released into my service.”

“I don’t work for you. Do I? I mean, that’s over. Your husband isn’t cheating. He’s dead.”

I had been hired to find this woman by the entire City Council and she was making it hard for me to pretend I hadn’t by standing in front of me and bailing me out of prison.

“But Hank, if we end our relationship, you’ll be free of our secrecy agreement.”

She said it politely as usual, but I got the sense that the agreement might be keeping me alive.

“Why isn’t Cliston here? He should have gotten me out,” I said to no one in particular.

“Cliston would never set foot in a penitentiary. He teled me you were here.”

“What?” That stupid robot.

“This is your first payment,” she said, holding out an envelope.

I put up my hands like she was trying to give me nuclear waste. I shouldn’t be seen with this woman, let alone talking to her, let alone getting paid by her. I looked around to see if anyone noticed.

Rendrae.

Fat, green, old Rendrae. He was sitting there, blending into the wall, his eyes the size of asteroids.

Rendrae was a news man. An editor and reporter and publisher. Out of all the shifting phases in Belvaille’s existence there was still Rendrae.

Always watching. Always reporting.

The one person I didn’t want to be sitting there snooping and listening to me talk to the murdered City Councilman’s wife was sitting there snooping and listening. This would be in tonight’s newspaper.

He ran the most popular news site in the Belvaille System. It was simply called The News. And it could keep that lofty title because anything of importance usually found its way there.

We went back a long ways, me and him. But not so long he wouldn’t run this story. And it’s not like I could threaten him in the lobby of the Central Authority jail.

“Come on,” I said to Malla.

I pulled her out and looked back at the building. Rendrae had his whole fat face pressed against the glass watching us go.

CHAPTER 10

“What are you doing?” I asked Cliston in horror.

My whole first floor was in ruins.

“Remodeling, sir. Your payment has arrived.”

“I’m sure it will be marvelous,” Malla cooed.

I hadn’t wanted her to come, but she drove me home from prison and followed me inside.

“How did you know I got paid? She just gave it to me,” I said, looking down at Malla’s envelope.

“From Maris-To,” Cliston answered.

Gerk. The payment, presumably, to research the very lady who was standing next to me.

“Maris-To. My husband worked with him quite a bit. He’s a charming man. Are you his servant now?” she asked pleasantly.

“No! I mean, who?” I fumbled.

“Oh, of course. You can’t say.”

“Would you like a drink? I want a drink,” I said.

I went to where the liquor cabinet used to be but it was gone.

“Cliston, where’s the booze?”

“Here, sir.”

He walked to the other side of the room and flicked a switch. An enormous carousel lowered from the ceiling and began spinning slowly. It was filled with about a billion trillion bottles of alcohol.

“You’re kidding me. When did you have this put in?”

“When you were…detained, sir.”

“How can I get anything? It’s moving too fast.”

“A gentleman should not pour his own drinks.”

“He’s right, you know,” Malla added.

I turned back to correct her and when I did, she opened her coat and let it fall to the floor.

She was naked.

“Whoa,” I said astutely.

“Should I withdraw for the night, sir?”

Cliston was holding a drink in my face, which I quickly took.

“Yeah. I think so.”

“As you say. Good evening. Good night, miss.”

“Good night, Cliston,” Malla said casually, as she walked closer to me.

That coat hid a lot. I would never have thought she was so athletic. She had prominent abdominal muscles and seemed like a gymnast about to pounce. When she walked she crossed one leg in front of the other and rocked her hips back and forth. That must have taken years of practice and it hit me below the belt.

Everywhere I looked, I saw a new muscle group. Anatomy classes could use her as a specimen. No wonder she wore that fur coat, she had no fat on her and must be freezing.

I had met a lot of fit women in my day and I think Malla could even give Garm a run for her money—though Garm was a trained assassin. Presumably Malla had nothing better to do as a formerly kept woman than exercise all day.

I drank my drink.

“You need to be more relaxed around your servants,” Malla said, smiling. “I’m relaxed around you.”

She was right in front of me and I was not relaxed.

“You know, Malla, now that your husband is dead—murdered—and they’re looking for the killer, and you hired me, maybe we shouldn’t see as much of each other. Or at all. I wouldn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”

She dabbed her finger at my chest.

“Why? No one cares.”

“I’m pretty sure the City Council cares,” I said, trying to drink more from my empty glass.

“They care least of all. They used to be one Councilman out of five, having 20% of the System under their control. Now they are one Councilman out of four. We all gained from my husband’s death. They gained power and I’m wealthy and free to do what I want.”

She was right up against me now.

“But they’ll just elect another Councilman,” I said hastily.

“Will they?” She giggled at my naiveté.

She was far shorter than me and had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss the underside of my jaw.

When my body was remade younger, everything was remade. I had the same glands and hormones and drives and urges as the younger me. But my brain was still old. So I was always in the terrible predicament of having the desires of a younger man, but the wisdom of an older one.

I liked to think my wisdom won more often than my lusts. No man could survive on Belvaille with passion alone. Not a poor and ugly man like me, anyway.

“I just got out of prison,” I said to her, weakly. Meaning, I didn’t want to go right back in for bedding the murderer of a City Councilman. Or worse, get framed for the murder.

“Then I should think you would like the attention,” she grinned mischievously.

On this one occasion my wisdom was nowhere to be found.

CHAPTER 11

I did not consider myself a great lover. In fact, epic poems had been composed about how bad at intercourse I was.

I knew my strengths and I knew my weaknesses. I prided myself on that.

When I spent the night with Malla, it was clear something was wrong based on my prowess in the bedroom. Throwing around cars, sprinting across the city screaming, that was nothing compared to my acrobatics and stamina in bed that night. I started to believe that Malla had been sorely regretful about seducing me.

In the morning it was clear. Tamshius’ soup!

His five hundred step soup. No soup could be that complicated to create and end up with something that horrible tasting.

That was a drug!

Was that his legacy to me? To become a wealthy peddler of a fantastic new substance that turned you into a lunatic and expert in the carnal arts?

It seemed like a lousy product on the surface. But if I knew people, and I did, if there was a drug that made you better at sex but had a side effect of causing your face to burst into flames, you could make a fortune selling fire extinguishers.

Besides, I wouldn’t mind being a drug lord. Anything was better than my current situation as servant extraordinaire. I didn’t even understand who was paying me for what. Was I still working for Malla? What did she even want? I couldn’t exactly find out if her dead husband was cheating on her.

I could ask Malla but, like a proper lady, she left before dawn. Cliston had let her out.

I sat there eating my breakfast the next day.

“Cliston, can you decipher who I’m working for? All these contracts are too arcane for me. Aristocrats don’t make anything simple.”

He cleared off the last bit of food and added an exquisite little pastry that was too small for me to even taste.

“It is not for me to say, sir.”

“But if it was. I’m letting you. Or asking your opinion.”

“I believe you have one contract with the City Council where you report to Maris-To. You have one contract with Lady Malla—”

“Lady?” I asked. “Is that something new?”

“Just a title I’m trying out,” he said rather confusingly. “That contract appears to be open-ended. The one with the City Council will end when you provide definitive evidence for the bombing attack. And you have a contract to an undisclosed person that nevertheless pays fairly well.”

“Which is best?” I asked.

“It depends on your definition, sir. Do you wish to classify by remuneration or ease or prestige?”

“Money, Cliston. It’s what makes the galaxy spin.”

“The City Council contract is superb. It varies on what expenses you incur, but I would suspect it is approximately four times larger than the other two combined.”

Wow.

“So am I the ‘servant’ of all those people?” I asked distastefully.

“In a way. It’s not a bad thing, sir.”

“And this Servant-Master stuff. Is that a law or something?”

“Master-Servant confidentiality. No, it’s not a law. Just an understanding among the upper classes.”

“What? So I could get in trouble if I tried to use it?”

“No one would break it.”

I shook my head at that. I’d break it if it meant saving my neck.

“Did the City Council make it up?” I asked.

“I’m a bit embarrassed to say that I did, sir.”

“You? When?”

I looked around at this point, as if I expected to see a pile of legal documents in the kitchen.

“Oh, some years ago. It was an addendum to my Household Standards Manual.”

I poked at my food a bit.

“Cliston. You could get a real job, right? Like with an important house on the station.”

“Lady Malla asked me this morning if I wanted to come work for her,” he said.

“What did you say?” I asked, alarmed.

“I told her it showed very low breeding to try and acquire another person’s servant. Especially after spending the night.”

“Damn, Cliston, I have to work with her. Or arrest her.”

“She knew better, sir.”

“Why do you work here?” I said, turning to face him. “Honestly. I don’t pay you much—I think. This place isn’t all that magnificent, despite all the great work you’ve done. I’m not a rich family who owns a planet.”

“Sir, it is not wealth or family connections that make a noble home.”

“Sure seems like it,” I said.

“No, sir. It is character.”

“You saying I have character?”

“Just a bit too much, sir.”

CHAPTER 12

I didn’t know if Tamshius’ super soup was really a narcotic and I didn’t feel like testing it on myself again. I figured there was a limit to how many times even Malla could get me out of jail.

So I went back to the restaurant, my restaurant, and made a new batch. I again screwed up a few tries but finally got a sealed container of gross soup.

I then hopped into a cab and headed to the southwest to meet a friend.

My status had fallen precipitously since Belvaille’s rise to galactic power, but Delovoa was practically in the basement.

He had been around almost as long as I had. In that time he had been the city’s one true technical genius. But that was like saying you were the smartest thing in a rock garden.

Now that tens of thousands of scientists and engineers lived in Belvaille System, it had been made clear that not only was Delovoa behind the times, but he had been criminally negligent. He had let the station deteriorate to near destruction.

Mostly because he didn’t care.

Not only that, but when they were revamping the city they found he had been conducting experiments on the population for years.

There was a big trial and everything. The only reasons Delovoa wasn’t thrown into space was because he was still the best Portal engineer, and because he strongly hinted that all his experiments hadn’t been discovered.

He had his old house on Belvaille, quite a downgrade from the entire city block he once owned. He managed to pay for his Belvaille expenses by maintaining the Portals and by being an inventor of questionable technology to the ultra-wealthy.

Maybe Delovoa wasn’t the most brilliant guy any longer, but he was still quite knowledgeable. He had invented my Gravitonic gun, for instance.

I rang his doorbell and waited.

The door was answered a few seconds later by a Po.

“Ehh,” I said, momentarily disoriented.

The Po were a strange species. They were a big jumble of tentacle-like arms and hands. They had no great torso, no body of any kind, really. No head. No nothing. They constantly undulated which caused the whole creature to move erratically.

I had only ever known Po to be slaves of the Boranjame. Boranjame were the one race that hadn’t participated in the Colmarian civil war—a galactic-wide apocalypse was beneath their concern.

Boranjame were the big guys of the galaxy. Quite literally. They were a crystalline species that never stopped growing. When they became large enough they built themselves world-ships that were the size of…worlds. They pretty much did what they wanted. There was only one Boranjame on Belvaille, but he was pretty small.

Figures that Delovoa had tried to show off by getting himself a Po servant. I guess I couldn’t criticize, I had tried to show off by getting a Dredel Led servant.

This Po was colored a kind of light red. I couldn’t tell exactly because it moved so fast, but I think it was wearing a black bow tie somewhere in its midsection.

“Hank to see Delovoa,” I said, averting my eyes so I wouldn’t have a seizure.

It twirled and whirled and flittered away leaving me at the open door.

I took the time to remind myself that Delovoa was getting old. Each time I saw him he looked worse. But he could be prickly and I didn’t want to embarrass him when I needed his help.

“Hank?” I heard, and looked up.

“Thad Elon’s Three Balls, what the hell happened to you!” I asked, shocked.

Delovoa was a weird-looking mutant at the best of times. He had three eyes that gazed and blinked independently. He was thin, pale, and wrinkled. His head looked like an upside-down pear, round and bald at the top.

Well, normally he looked like that.

The whole top of his skull had been removed and replaced with a glass half-dome. What looked like blood spurted up and ran down the sides of the glass at regular intervals. He had bolts and pieces of metal on his face.

But the big change was his entire chest cavity had been emptied!

Clear cables and wires extended from his vacant chest to a kind of handcart that he pushed along on wheels. Inside it, in transparent canisters of plastic, were all his organs, floating in different-colored liquids.

He had three brains, by the way, which might account for why he was so smart.

“What?” Delovoa asked, as if he were surprised at my questioning his appearance.

“You…” But I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t even start. How was he not dead having all of his vital organs outside his body?

“Come in, you’re letting out the hot air,” he said.

I plopped in and the Po closed the door behind me and scurried away.

Delovoa’s home was the same as always. He made half-hearted attempts to be classy, but he didn’t understand enough or care enough. He had technical gizmos and junk everywhere. His couch, for instance, was antique embroidery yet was occupied by metal scrap and piles of electrical circuits.

“Why did you do that?” I finally asked, motioning to the cart.

“Oh, you haven’t seen me since my little make-over? I was having issues with my lungs and I figured, if I’m having problems now, I’m bound to have more later. And it’s such a hassle operating on yourself. Now, everything is readily accessible.”

He smiled a toothless grin. You’d think after all that, he could finally get some dentures.

“But it can’t be healthy,” I said.

“Well, we didn’t all get magical new bodies from a level-ten mutant like you did. When you were making wishes, it would have been nice if you could have gotten your friends new bodies, too.”

“It wasn’t like that, Delovoa. He didn’t even ask me. And he actually disintegrated my old body.”

“Let’s all cry for Hank! How terrible it must be to have a second youth.”

“I’m hardly youthful.”

“Try pushing your intestines around and then talk to me. Why are you here?” he said, and it was clear I was irritating him.

I was about to answer but I was just so dumbstruck by his appearance.

“Why did you make everything see-through?” I asked. I was staring at…I don’t know, his liver? Stomach? I hadn’t a clue. All the organs were still flexing and bobbing, and the tubes that connected to Delovoa were filled with blood and bile and food and whatever else goes on. It was extremely gross yet fascinating.

“As you know, I’m in the exotic technology business nowadays. I find being exotic helps with sales.”

“I guess I can see that.” I put on fancy clothes to get jobs, but that was a long way from what Delovoa did.

“Here, hold this tube,” Delovoa said.

“Why?”

“Just do it. Learn how biology works.”

“I don’t want to know how biology works. And my hands are too thick. I won’t feel anything.”

“How do you know if you don’t try?” he coaxed.

I tentatively stepped forward and took hold of the cable.

It came loose!

Blood started spurting out with every heartbeat!

“AH!” I screamed.

“AH!” Delovoa screamed.

Blood jetted all over the place. Delovoa’s arms were jerking around and he tilted his head to the sky, his face contorted in agony.

“What do I do?” I asked him.

“Blag gag! Blag gag!” He said.

I looked in his chest to see if I could find where it went. Blood squirted up against my head and blinded me. I dropped the hose and my soup container so I could wipe my face and see what I was doing.

The cable danced around on the floor spewing blood everywhere. I didn’t see any obvious place to plug it in, but I wasn’t exactly a surgeon. I looked at his organs, expecting to see them shuddering or rupturing or something, but I couldn’t tell if they were doing anything grosser than normal.

I reached down and grabbed the cord and put my thumb on the end, stopping the blood.

Delovoa was still convulsing and had dropped to his knees, two of his eyes were rolled back and one was glaring at me accusingly.

“What do I do, Delovoa? Help me! Po! PO!”

The Po servant scuttled up immediately.

“Hey, help him!” I shouted.

It waved its arms around a billion miles an hour as if that would help.

“You suck,” I yelled at the big octopus.

I leaned over Delovoa.

“Stay with me, buddy. What do I need to do? Where do I put this hose?”

“Up your butt,” he said calmly.

“What?” I asked, my nerves shot.

He stood up and smiled.

“Gotcha.”

He took the hose from me and disconnected it from his organ-cart and threw it over his shoulder.

The Po began mopping up the floor.

I slumped into a seated position on the ground and stared slack-jawed up at him.

“That was a joke?” I asked.

“More like your first aid skills are a joke. What if you had really pulled out one of my hoses?” he asked.

“How is that funny?” I yelled. Delovoa was such a weirdo sometimes.

I tasted the red glop on my face.

“So this isn’t blood?”

“Oh, it’s blood,” Delovoa said, allowing his Po servant to wipe him clean. “It’s just not mine.”

I spent the next minute spitting and trying to get it off me. His servant wasn’t helping. Maybe because I said it sucked.

“Where is your bathroom?” I asked, trying to keep my temper.

“I don’t use them anymore. They’re so unsightly,” he said, seeming to forget what he looked like.

“Where can I wash up, then?”

“The refreshment room.”

He walked me to it and stood outside. It was a normal bathroom with the toilet ripped out. I had been expecting something more fantastical, given his current state.

“I need you to analyze something for me,” I said, as I was washing off.

“Why should I?”

“What?”

“Why should I?” he repeated stubbornly.

“Besides just giving me a coronary, you’re supposed to be my friend.”

“I’m not a charity. I heard you work for the City Council now,” he said, and I could tell from his tone he was jealous. “Not that I’m jealous,” he quickly added.

“Yeah, so?”

“So it’s expensive living here. And not everyone wants to buy neutron bubbles.”

I paused drying off.

“It’s sad, isn’t it? We used to be the biggest fish here and now we can barely afford our leases.”

“What lease? You own your apartment building! I have weekly rent. So are you paying me or not?” he asked.

I sighed.

“I guess I can expense it. But it’s not going to be some crazy Delovoa price. I’m not having the City Council audit me.”

“What do you want analyzed?” Delovoa asked.

“Soup. Tamshius’ recipe.”

“He’s dead.”

“Does that mean his soup died with him? He gave me his soup restaurant in his will—”

Delovoa threw up his hands.

“Everyone gives you everything! ‘Hey, Hank, want a new body?’ Bzow! ‘Hey, Hank, want a building?’ Cha-ching! ‘How about an expense account directly to the City Council?’ Why do you get all the breaks?”

“Maybe because I didn’t try and kill the whole space station over decades.”

“I didn’t try and kill them. I was just experimenting. Plenty of people ended up better than they started.”

“Whatever. Can you tell me what this is?”

I handed him the soup container. He looked at it briefly.

“It’s not soup?”

“I think it’s some kind of stimulant. It made me go crazy. I’m hoping that was the cause. When do you think you can get me an answer?”

“160 billable hours.”

“What is that, 10 minutes to get the results and then a 159-hour-and-50-minute lunch break?”

“You have the money, what are you concerned about?”

“I don’t got crap. The City Council has the money. Besides, even I haven’t clocked in 160 hours yet. Am I going to tell them I’m time travelling?”

“I heard about you running around and attacking cops,” he said, trying to change the subject.

“How’d you hear that?” I groaned.

“Same place I heard you were sleeping with Malla, who probably killed her husband. For someone who gets all the breaks, you sure do piss them away, Hank.”

Delovoa

CHAPTER 13

I figured I would do Maris-To’s job, even though it didn’t pay as much as the City Council one, because it was an actual job with an actual completion that I wanted to complete. It was also off-station which would put some distance between me and Malla and MTB.

I might be a third rate flunky on Belvaille, but in the Sectors, I still had quite a bit of influence. That’s where all the normal people lived and worked.

They wouldn’t know a person’s heraldry if it jumped up their noses. But they knew what a bulletproof guy was: me.

I was reading the job description as I waited for the shuttle. Maris-To had it written obliquely. It didn’t say, “go in and punch this guy in the ear.” It was such that if anyone picked up this paper they wouldn’t be able to use it to implicate Maris-To. Problem was, trying to make sense of what he really wanted.

My shuttle cab arrived and it looked a bit worse for wear. I still got nervous flying around the vacuum of space. Especially without a space suit and especially in a junky shuttle that looked like it had been put together in someone’s garage and flown on a dare.

“You call a cab?” I heard an electrical voice ask.

I tried to see who was driving and it was a Keilvin Kamigan!

Keilvin Kamigans were a whole other empire. They were probably the weirdest major species in the galaxy. They were made out of gas. Just a cloud. This one was kind of reddish with some crackling pink electrical discharges all through it.

“Yeah. Uh, you’re driving?” I was a bit skeptical since it didn’t have a physical body.

“I will if you can pay.”

Definitely a cabbie.

“I’m going to Education Sector, ship X0113B,” I said.

“Right. Strap in.”

In the back seat I saw his cab registration. His name was Zzzho, which I thought was funny.

Because Keilvin Kamigans were somewhat electrical, they could power devices. Plug themselves right in, which was how they could speak to us—and I suppose how he could pilot the shuttle. But I wondered if the old ones had names that were kind of based off of the bad speaker technology that existed at the time. Like the sound of static or feedback. Then later on when they got better speakers they couldn’t even say their own names.

I didn’t know much about the species except they could live on planets that other races couldn’t, so they almost never had any conflict. No one was going to fight over some gas planet.

We pulled out of the port and headed off.

So many ships out here. I was always impressed, and put off my reading to gawk like a tourist.

Belvaille System was quite ordered. You couldn’t just fly around anywhere. There were plenty of freighters and transports that came and went, but they had to pay fees and were directed by the Central Authority.

All the big ships were permanently anchored in their Sectors. Since there was no star in the System, there were only minute recalibrations that had to take place periodically. Everything was organized in relation to the Portals, which were the most important things here. Even Belvaille itself was secondary.

There were other space stations out here that had migrated to the Belvaille System, though they were fairly small. Belburge, Belton, and Floloria. The first two had changed their names to Bel-something in honor of coming to Belvaille. Floloria was a Rettosian space station and they had stubbornly kept their name. Rettosians, as a species, were kind of stuck-up jerks.

“What’s your name, buddy?” the cabbie asked.

“Hank.”

“The Hank?”

I had done some work for the Taxi Union in the past.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“The one dating the wife of that dead City Councilman,” he buzzed.

“No,” I said.

“Oh. That guy’s got some nerve, huh? What, did he wait a whole five minutes before shacking up? I heard she found him in prison.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You think they killed the husband? He was worth a mountain of credits.”

“Just drive, okay?”

“Hey, fine. Just making small talk.”

As fast as we were going, it still took quite a while to get around. We were just entering the Education Sector. It was always easy to tell because of the derelict dreadnaught, Shelter, sitting there. Damn, that thing was big. Probably as big, or bigger, than Belvaille itself, and it was a warship.

“You think they’re ever going to fix that?” I asked.

“Shelter? Nah. It would bankrupt us. I say we scrap it. Use the metal. Make some more living quarters. Void knows we could use the space,” he said.

“Yeah, I guess. I think we got too many people here as it is.”

“Don’t you know it,” he agreed. “There must be 10,000 ships waiting to join Belvaille, too.”

“That many?” I thought it was less, but I wasn’t in space a lot.

“Oh, yeah, they’re coming every day. The Central Authority warships have a hard time corralling them at the edge of the System. A lot of black market trading goes on between here and there.”

“I bet. They got to eat somehow.”

“Right. And buy normal stuff. But it raises the prices for all of us.”

I was thinking about that when the ship bumped and suddenly I could feel myself falling forward as rockets fired from the front of the shuttle.

“Damn,” Zzzho said.

“What?” I asked, panicked.

“Lost my steering.”

“Lost? What’s that mean? Did we stop?”

“Yeah. That’s the way all ships are designed.”

“What are you talking about?” I was very concerned about drifting in space in a broken ship being piloted by a surly storm cloud.

“Whenever a ship loses any of its major controls it comes to a stop.”

“Why? That’s a terrible design!” I said.

“If we kept going in a straight line without steering that would be a lot worse than stopping. Think about all these ships out here and if we ran into one. They’ve been doing this for centuries.”

“I don’t care what they’ve been doing. Do we call someone? What happens now?”

“Calm down, I almost got it fixed.”

I peeked forward. I was sweating profusely and in the light gravity of the shuttle the water was wicking off me and falling in slow motion.

Zzzho had taken up the whole front cabin. It was filled with him. I had heard Keilvin Kamigans could expand or collapse at will. I just couldn’t see how he could “fix” anything though. He had no hands. He had no anything.

I was about to make a joke about getting out and pushing, but I was scared. Next time I wasn’t going to get in such a beat up cab—or ride with a disembodied driver.

I was slammed back in my seat as the taxi took off again.

“There, good as new,” he said, which wasn’t saying much.

I sat silently the rest of the trip despite Zzzho’s attempts to talk about trivial things.

They say you’re much more likely to die of a heart attack than in space transit, but I’ve had a lot of heart attacks and as terrifying as they were, they were nothing compared to the thought of dying on the urine-soaked back seat of a cab two miles from the nearest dust particle.

CHAPTER 14

Ship X0113B wasn’t anything special. A big ship. Like countless others floating out here.

Maybe a bit older than some. Not the oldest.

“150 credits,” Zzzho said, after almost killing me in space. It seemed awful expensive.

“I need a receipt,” I said.

“And how do you expect me to write you one? You got a helium pencil?”

“Send me a tele. I know you can answer teles because that’s how you got the call.”

“I don’t have time for that,” he said.

He had stopped the cab just short of docking. He was stranding me here waiting for payment.

“I’m paid by the hour, buddy. You’re paid by the fare. I got all week to sit here,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Hank on Belvaille. What building?”

“One. One. Hank Block. It’s in Make District.”

“You got your own street? In Manufacturing? What the hell do you make?”

“No, it’s a legacy. I just have a sign out front. You know how Belvaille is, it’s all mixed up.”

“How would I know? They don’t let me in, like I’m going to track mud on the carpet or something. I sent the receipt,” he said.

I waited and it popped on my tele.

“Put down a twenty credit tip, too,” I said. I thought that was enough for this ride.

“Delete the other one though,” he said.

“Why do you care?” I was going to use them both.

“So you don’t bill your boss for both. I run Make crew chiefs all the time and I don’t want them to think I’m a crook.”

“Fine,” I said. “Done.”

“Let me see.”

“I’m not showing you my tele,” I said.

“Why? I just want to see the receipt, not your love letters.”

“Then send another receipt. 150 on the dot. Screw your tip,” I said.

“Not until you delete them both, cheapskate, and show me.”

I finally deleted them all and held my tele forward as proof.

“You know, I broke my back helping your union get set up. You got a job because of me,” I grumbled.

I put the 150 credits in the slot and sat back.

“I knew you were the Hank dating the City Councilman’s wife. Here’s your damn receipt. And don’t call me again. I don’t want whatever trouble you got.”

“Like I called you specifically. I asked them to send me a deathtrap piloted by a lightning fart.”

He flew up to the ship and we docked. I got out as quickly as possible, which wasn’t tremendously quick because of all the safety mechanisms.

I was in a black mood as I walked along the corridor.

A skinny deck attendant approached.

“Can I help you?” he asked pleasantly.

“Shut up,” I answered.

I shook my head.

“Oh, wait,” I corrected. “I need to find the head…head techs here.”

“Head what?”

“I don’t know. Who is in charge?”

“In charge of what?” he asked, thoroughly confused.

“Like the ship? I don’t know. What’s this ship even do?”

“It’s a working environment and habitat.”

I paused and took a breath to calm myself.

“Yes. People work and live here. Technical people. In the Education Sector. What do they do specifically?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I just work the dock. You’ll need to talk to the Machinists,” he said.

“Machinists? Do they make…machines?” I shrugged. Not because I was teasing him, but because it seemed so abstract. A machine could be anything.

“You’ll need to speak to them.”

“Can you take me? This is my first time here.”

“I have to stay at the dock. But there are directions posted throughout the ship and most people you meet will be happy to help.”

I had my Gravitonic gun with me and a few concussion grenades inside my jacket pockets—which were totally ruining the line of my suit. I wasn’t sure if I would need them, but I couldn’t exactly stop a fight, call a cab, go back to Belvaille, and come back with weapons if I got into trouble.

I walked some distance to the first junction and looked at the directions printed on the wall.

I stared at it for maybe five minutes.

I couldn’t tell where I was, where I was going, or what language the sign was written in. Ships weren’t nice square things. They had all sorts of levels on levels and split levels and levels occupied by cores and fuel tanks and water reserves and solar ballasts.

Forget it, I’ll just wander and look for people.

After maybe two turns, the clean, orderly ship became filled with junk. Giant metal bars, bolts, tools, wiring. There was one corridor I had to turn sideways and squeeze past crates.

Then in another area the ceiling was open and thick cables were hanging down to chest level. I wasn’t going to walk past that and risk getting electrocuted.

I turned around. Where was everyone?

Was this the ship’s defense strategy? If you could get past all these booby traps you could actually talk to someone?

I saw another set of directions and I almost laughed. It didn’t even have the same dimensions as the previous one. It was like they were describing different ships. And there were all sorts of strange codes everywhere.

The flooring I walked on alternated between aluminum, steel, steel mesh, some kind of tiling, and then:

“Oof!”

I fell through the floor and landed on the level below. It was only about a seven-foot fall, thankfully. I looked up and saw there was a panel missing from above. I hadn’t seen it because the floor above matched the one below and it sort of blurred. And it was also kind of dark.

“Hey!” I yelled. “Anyone here?”

I was wearing a good suit, foolishly thinking I was actually going to be speaking to Colmarians at some point instead of getting lost in the belly of a ship. This suit was not made for walking. Or moving. Or falling through floors.

I was sweating when I finally turned a corner and walked past a room and saw a man grinding away on a piece of metal with a big drill. He wore coveralls, goggles, and ear protection as he maneuvered the slab this way and that and poked holes in it.

I waited for him to be done, as I didn’t want to get closer to the loud drill, but he just kept drilling and drilling. Finally, I waved politely. Then waved impolitely. Then I walked in and hopped up and down waving my arm and Gravitonic gun.

He saw me and stopped the drill, took off his ear muffs, and stared a while.

I would say his skin color was oil and dirt. Maybe somewhere underneath that grime he actually had skin, but it hadn’t seen light in years. He had a thick, bushy black mustache and I wondered if it had once been white. Or at least not so black.

“Who you?” he asked, seeming not so much impressed as bewildered.

“I am Hank. I’ve been sent to talk to your people.”

“My people? What people?”

“Are you alone on this ship?”

“No. ‘Course not. Lots of people.”

“Yes. I’m sure. And they can speak, right? They have mouths and ears.”

“Yeah,” he said grudgingly.

“Then I would like to speak to them.”

“All of them? There’s like four hundred-odd Machinists on this boat.”

“Do you have any leaders? Heads? Bosses? Big guys? Gals? Anyone with less gunk on them than average?” I asked.

“The Master Machinists.”

“That sounds about right. Where can I find them?” I questioned.

“I don’t know. They move around like anyone else. Might be asleep for all I know.”

Why was it so hard getting information here?

“Let’s pretend you wanted to contact them. You,” I said, pointing so there was no confusion. “How would you get in touch with one?”

“I’d tele them.”

“Thank the Arches, I was beginning to think I would have to use telepathy,” I said.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing. What are their names and numbers, if you don’t mind?”

I was standing in a large room with eight Master Machinists.

I was standing because it gave me a position of authority, and because my suit wasn’t tailored for sitting.

The Machinists looked kind of like fat rodents who had been rolled in grease and put into coveralls and overalls and boots and goggles and thick eyeglasses and gloves. They were the least fashionable people I had ever seen in my life. The bums in old Deadsouth had these guys beat for taste.

They were ugly as well. I mean, I know that wasn’t their fault. But they had flat noses and weak chins and bulging foreheads and every combination of physical traits that would make you not find someone attractive.

It was like a requirement or something. Master Machinists were master misshapen.

I was not the most handsome man in the galaxy by a long shot. But I could have been a runway model on this ship. They could put up posters of me and I expected it would stop traffic as the cross-eyed denizens stared in awe at my beauty.

The Machinists sat around a big table, curved from all the tools and equipment on its surface. There were piles of hardware all over the room and a giant black column that stood in the center that made it hard for me to see everyone at once.

The Master Machinists were all sitting as far away from each other as possible and didn’t know where to put their legs or their hands and fidgeted constantly. They also perpetually sniffled, coughed, and otherwise picked at themselves.

I guessed I was the first real visitor these people had in a long while.

“Hi,” I said with a smile. “I’m Hank from Belvaille.”

I waited for any recognition or questions or anything, but they just kept snuffling and snorting and digging in their ears. One guy was working on a small piece of electronics absently.

“I’ve come here with an offer,” I continued. “I’m requesting that you all…stop doing what you were doing and start doing…the other thing.”

I motioned with my hands as I said it, hoping that helped. I had no clue what I was saying of course, but I hoped they did.

No one said a word. Or at least not a Colmarian word. Maybe they spoke in coughs and throat clearings.

“Does, uh, that make any sense?” I prodded.

“Does what?” a Master Machinist in a brownish jumper asked. I got the sense his clothes used to be bright orange in some bygone era.

“What I said. To do the other thing,” I clarified.

They just sat there.

“You guys were under Ray’Ziel’s jurisdiction, right?” I asked.

“He’s dead,” another man said.

“Yes!” I said, happy someone had at least understood that. “He’s dead. But he had given you instructions. Or his people did. Or his people’s people.” I wasn’t sure how far down the line these Machinists were, but I suspected very far. “So you can stop doing what Ray’Ziel said to do, and do…the other thing.”

“But he’s dead,” someone in the corner stated.

“So you’re not doing anything because your City Councilman has died?”

“We don’t need a City Councilman,” a man with a beard so long he tucked it into his belt said.

“Of course you can work without a City Councilman. Just work on the other thing. Maybe you had two things you were working on?”

“There’s no Tech Sector City Councilman,” said a man with a voice so ragged it sounded like he had a mouthful of glass.

The scientists who worked in the Education Sector liked to call it “Tech.” They wanted to be thought of as professionals and not teachers. Of course, no one else cared what they wanted.

“Well, there’s still a City Council,” I smiled.

“Not for Tech Sector.”

I stood there quietly for a beat.

“Do you think just because Ray’Ziel died that you’re somehow out of Belvaille’s influence?”

“We got no City Council,” the brown jumper said.

I shook my head, trying to get the soot out of my ears.

“There’s like, warships all over the place. You must get food delivered here. You must get supplies. You must sell and buy stuff,” I said.

“We don’t need Belvaille for that.”

“Sure you do,” I laughed. “This is Belvaille System. You don’t get to be an independent country just because your City Councilman died. They’ll get a new one.”

“We don’t need a new one,” the bearded man said, and there were coughs of agreement.

Wow, delusions of grandeur everywhere. I wondered if these guys had ever left this ship or even looked out a window.

“I am prepared to offer you payment for you to do the other thing instead of the old thing. And I can add a 25% premium on your previous rate.”

“We work on what we want to,” stated a man wearing a hardhat.

“Is there like a Master Master Machinist here? Your boss, maybe? Or, most experienced Machinist?”

They all exchanged looks and sneezes and scratches for a while and then the bearded man stood up.

“We are of a mind on this, stranger,” he said.

“Yeah, well,” I started.

I put my Gravitonic gun on medium setting and shot him in the chest.

He got lifted up like a crumpled piece of paper in a wind tunnel. He hit the back of the metal wall so hard that blood pancaked out a foot around him. Even from where I stood I heard the sound of at least a half-dozen bones snapping.

I grimaced, and my first thought was:

Whoops.

He had seemed a lot more substantial than that, but his clothes were probably bulkier than I had guessed.

The man flopped to the ground with a groan, so I hoped he was at least still alive.

My gun was designed for tossing around thugs who were in generally good physical shape. I also wasn’t used to shooting people at such close range. More importantly, a lot of ships don’t run full Belvaille gravity. Most were at anything from half to 90%. I hadn’t thought about it because I wasn’t exactly jumping around here, I was crawling through narrow passages.

But when you hit someone with a Gravitonic gun it becomes pretty obvious when you’re in a low gravity environment.

Still, I couldn’t say sorry. That would make me look like some incompetent idiot—which I was—but I didn’t want them to know that.

So I just held my ground and looked mean.

They all panicked.

Half fell out of their chairs and the remainder hid behind theirs. They yelled and pleaded and generally were making a lot of unhappy noise.

This negotiation was not proceeding well. Didn’t I used to be good at this sort of thing?

I tried to talk to them and calm them down, but these were Machinists, not criminals. They just saw their bearded buddy pulped against the wall. Other than being ruthlessly taunted in school, they likely had no experience at all with violence.

“Guys, um, sorry about that,” I said, realizing I had no choice but to appear idiotic, as my other alternative was appearing psychotic.

“Mort,” one yelled.

“Mort,” the man in the brown agreed.

The man with the hardhat fumbled in his coveralls and took out a small box. He pushed some buttons and twirled some controls and then pointed it at me.

I waited for something to happen, but nothing did.

He then took out a hammer—who carries around a hammer?—and smashed the box on the table.

Okay.

Then the column in the middle of the room, that I thought was a column, showed that it wasn’t exactly a column.

The huge roar of an engine sounded, and from the top some exhaust pipes billowed black smoke.

I expected the room to move.

Instead, a pile of oil and nuts and bolts splashed to the floor as the column swiveled around.

It had a face.

The whole column then folded out its arms and legs and raised its head, and I saw it was in fact a ten-foot tall, four-foot thick robot. It looked like it was black iron and steel.

It had an evil, square head full of rivets and sensors, but no mouth.

It wasn’t here to talk.

So that’s Mort.

What concerned me most, as I watched this monstrosity position itself, was instead of a forearm for its right arm it carried a massive gun. The barrel diameter had to be close to 20mm. I just hoped it was a machinegun and not a cannon.

“Robots are illegal,” I said feebly. I don’t even know why I said that. They hadn’t been illegal since the Colmarian Confederation, which didn’t even exist anymore. We were at peace with the Dredel Led and it’s not like they were illegal—I had a robotic butler. But I just didn’t have an answer to a ten-foot wall of smoke-belching iron.

Doon! Doon! Doon!

I immediately covered my face and put my head down and scrunched up as much as I could.

I felt two shots hit me, which was good. It was good because the rounds weren’t explosive. It was a superheavy machinegun and not a cannon hurling explosive rounds, which meant I was still alive—for the time being.

Still, that was about a .75 caliber machinegun! I think the biggest I had ever been hit with before was .50 caliber, which were themselves heavy machineguns.

These bullets were smacking me square in the chest at maybe fifteen feet. I almost immediately got the wind knocked out of me. It felt like my skin was about to be torn off.

Probably because it was.

I went down to my knees as I struggled to breathe.

I could hear the bullets hitting the walls and floor around me. This thing had lousy aim, fortunately.

The walls in this room were thick and the bullets were ricocheting dangerously.

There’s a reason they don’t make machineguns that big. It takes so much powder to propel a giant slug of metal that size. It’s not efficient. It had too much recoil, too much heat, too much exhaust. I mean, if he didn’t kill me with those metal boulders it was hurling, it would suffocate me by filling the room with gun smoke.

I crawled as fast as I could across the floor and out into the hallway. It felt like I hadn’t breathed in an hour.

The machinegunning didn’t stop at first despite me no longer being in the room. My mind raced at that. Mort wasn’t smart. Or quick. This wasn’t a sentient Dredel Led. It was a big-ass mobile machinegun created by Machinists.

I got to my feet and walked backwards down the hall.

Mort’s gun was quiet but I could hear its gears shifting and engine revving.

The cannon poked out of the doorframe suddenly. I almost swallowed my tongue. Mort’s left hand was on the door frame and its head and left shoulder were in the hall.

The thing was too big to leave the room!

I nearly laughed, but my bruised and bloody chest made me reconsider.

The engine started screaming and I saw the doorframe buckle. Not only that, but as Mort pushed out into the hallway, it was squashing the floor and ceiling!

The metal doorframe ripped apart and Mort charged out and slammed into the opposite wall. It was far too tall for the hallway and had to stand crouched.

It then stood up straighter and flexed upwards with its left arm, widening the hallway where it stood.

Come on.

This thing wouldn’t be able to damage the outer reinforced walls of the spaceship, but it could destroy the innards. Why were technical people so lacking in common sense? Why would they build a robot whose only weapons were capable of destroying the very place it was trying to protect? Delovoa was exactly the same way. Bigger wasn’t always better.

My Gravitonic gun wouldn’t do anything to Mort, it was wedged solid. Even if it wasn’t, I imagined Mort’s considerable weight made it immune.

I dropped my gun and grabbed a slab of sheet metal that was leaning against the wall and held it up in front of me with both hands like a shield.

Doon! Doon! Doon!

The first shot put a three-inch hole in the sheet, right next to my face. I almost got knocked on my back holding on to the metal. I threw it aside and pressed myself against the wall.

I had nowhere else to go.

Mort kept shooting straight down the center of the corridor.

I didn’t know much about robots, but I think the Machinist broke its controls. That meant I had to destroy this thing or get away. I thought I could easily outrun it, but I wasn’t sure if I could hail a taxi and get out of here before it caught up with me—or destroyed the ship trying to catch up to me.

And as strong as I was, there was no way I was going to out-punch or out-wrestle something that big. If it fell on me, I wouldn’t be able to get it off.

Mort stopped shooting and seemed to realize I was no longer where I had once been. It pivoted its gun arm.

I covered my head and ducked.

Doon! Doon! Doon!

It was hitting the wall about five feet in front of me, ripping it to pieces.

Ducts and cables and supports were turned into scrap.

When I peeked up, I saw it had destroyed a huge section of the wall.

Without hesitating, I dashed ahead and into the hole it had created.

I had hoped it connected to an adjoining hallway, but it was only a few feet deep and covered with rubble.

I fumbled with the wires and shredded metal in my way, trying to push through or out. I had basically trapped myself in a little closet.

The gunfire stopped. I knew Mort was going to reevaluate its aim and I was going to be in trouble.

I took out my only two concussion grenades and threw them down the hall in the direction of the robot. I covered my ears right before they went off.

Blackness.

Well, that was dumb.

Who uses grenades in a hallway on a spaceship?

I must have blown out the walls and ruptured some cables. Or plain destroyed all the lights. Even concussion grenades pack a punch when there’s nowhere for the blast to go.

If Mort could see in the dark, I was really screwed.

Mort’s gun didn’t fire, but I could still hear that engine roaring. I could even smell the smoke from it.

There was the sound of gears and metal grinding. But then it stopped. Then it started. I got the sense it was swiveling around trying to find me, which was further ruining the hall.

I took a moment to touch my chest where the bulk of its shots had hit me.

My hand came away bloody and I could feel blood all the way down to my legs. My poor suit had been pretty much blown away. If Mort didn’t kill me, Cliston would. Damn robots.

I couldn’t sit here all day. I could try and talk to it. But Mort didn’t seem especially chatty.

Maybe it would run out of fuel? Not sure what powered that thing but it smelled like coal mixed with wet animal fur. It was just noxious.

Come on, I’m an experienced fighter. I’ve battled more robots and aliens and mutants and pickpockets than everyone else on Belvaille put together.

So what could I do?

I didn’t even have my Gravitonic gun. It was up the hall where I’d dropped it.

I could try and coax Mort to one of those big drills and ask it to bend over so I could punch some holes in it…

Its gun. That machinegun was the problem.

Mort itself could barely move in this tight ship. I could stack metal junk in the hallway and seal it off if it wasn’t beaning me with that damn gun.

Suddenly I got another dumb idea. But what else did I have?

I tried to disentangle myself from my hiding spot while making as little noise as possible.

I delicately felt with my foot and hand where the edge of my cubby was. I didn’t want to try and run out only to trip and land on my face in front of Mort.

I took a few deep breaths and jumped into the hallway.

I turned right and ran as fast as I could, which unfortunately wasn’t very fast. In the far distance, I could see the lights were on. So my grenades must have simply shattered the fixtures in this area.

I ran past my Gravitonic gun and kept going. I couldn’t stop for it. I zigzagged as best I could in the tight hallway, but it was stuffed full on either side. So my zigs were only a few feet in either direction.

I passed thin metal coils, steel drums, tool boxes a few feet tall, some circular saw blades.

And then I realized the light ahead was making me a silhouette.

Doon! Doon! Doon!

I took a shot in the calf and upper back and I almost pitched forward. I bounced off the wall and kept running.

I wasn’t going to be able to take many shots from the rear. One to the back of the head, or neck, or spine might be enough to end this farce.

I hit the edge of the light and I saw something that would work. A big clunky motor of some kind leaning against the wall. A bullet pounded my upper right shoulder and I flipped forward, maybe ten feet from the motor.

I hurried over and got behind it, crouching as low as I could.

The shooting stopped after a moment.

But hiding here wasn’t my plan.

The hall was long and there were no doorways in sight. I couldn’t turn my back to this thing again, it would kill me.

Mort’s engine revved and metal crumpled.

It was walking toward me. Widening the hall as it did so.

I gulped another deep breath and stood up.

“Blah Ya Ya Ya!” I yelled, waving my arms around.

I then ducked back down behind my cover.

Doon! Doon! Doon!

I braced myself against the motor as bullets ricocheted off, taking chunks of metal with them.

After some time, the shooting stopped.

I jumped up again.

“Mort’s a piece of crap!” I taunted, waving my tired arms.

I ducked.

Doon! Doon! Doon!

He’s got to be running out of ammo! That gun was huge. Unless his whole torso was filled with bullets he should be dry soon. Then I could try and barricade the hallway.

Mort stopped firing and I jumped up again.

“Machinists wear pink panties!” I yelled.

Doon! Doon! Doon!

Doon!

Doon!

Doon!

I was curious at the irregular firing and looked. Mort was in the darkness, but I saw bright yellow. The bright yellow that comes from heated metal.

Doon!

Hot damn, it’s an ammo cook-off!

His gun or armor had grown too hot and the ammunition was prematurely detonating without needing to be struck by the firing pin. Whether it was caused by his engine or that gigantic, foolish gun and its gunpowder requirements I didn’t know or care.

A shot hit the side wall thirty feet from me.

Another went down the hall.

One hit the floor right in front of the robot.

Mort was swiveling around fitfully. It wasn’t firing on purpose and it couldn’t cope with its gun going off on its own. It didn’t understand.

I covered my head and neck with my arms and stood up a bit.

“Hey, Mort,” I yelled, but I didn’t crouch back down this time.

Doon!

It didn’t hit anywhere near me.

Well, this wasn’t what I intended, but it was about as good.

I was about to push over the motor to try and block the hall when I thought of my Gravitonic gun.

That was a really expensive weapon. And now that Delovoa knew I had a good job, he would squeeze me hard for a replacement.

But still, that was a big gun firing randomly on a glowing hot robot.

Hmm.

“Mort?” I asked.

If it recognized me as its target, it didn’t let on.

I hurried out from my cover and ran toward where I had dropped my Gravitonic gun, all the while trying to keep low and the top of my head covered with one arm.

I was entering the area where the lights were blown out so I had to scuff along carefully. I was getting uncomfortably close to Mort and was really regretting this decision. It was just money. I could buy another one!

I stepped on my gun and reached down and grabbed it.

Doon!

My hand jerked.

I briefly saw the wall in front of me illuminated in blue light and my Gravitonic gun cut in half.

I was on my back. On the floor. In a whole lot of pain.

I stared at the multicolored spots in my eyes and spit out a tooth. I absently checked my mouth. It wasn’t my fake tooth. It was the one next to it.

I looked around for Mort but saw nothing except the lit hallway in the distance.

I didn’t hear anything except a high-pitched tone going on continuously. Was that Mort? Or had I blown out my eardrums?

I struggled to my feet, relying heavily on the wall.

From the light of the conference room, I could see Mort had been pushed through about ten feet of wall like a nail into wood. One of its legs and a whole pile of gears lay on the ground. Its engine had stopped spewing smoke.

I staggered into the conference room.

The Master Machinists were in even greater agitation than when I had left them. Some had been shot by Mort’s ricocheting bullets. I saw one guy had his entire foot blown off. And another wasn’t moving.

I took a moment to look at myself in the light. My arms, my hands, my legs, my chest. I was all blood and torn clothes and ragged skin.

The Machinists were frenzied and panicked, but I couldn’t hear a word they said, just that high-pitched tone from my exploding Gravitonic gun.

I grabbed the Master Machinist who wore the hardhat. The guy who had set Mort on me to begin with.

I pulled him to the center of the room and forced him bodily to the ground. I could see by his expression he thought I was going to kill him.

I pointed to myself.

Then with my bloody index finger I wrote on the floor. Taxi.

Robot

CHAPTER 15

I stumbled into the Belvaille Gentle Club after my taxi ride back home.

The club used to be called the Belvaille Gentleman’s Club. Then the Belvaille Athletic Gentleman’s Club. Then the Belvaille Gentleman’s Club again.

Then someone stole the “man’s” off the sign and everyone thought that was pretty funny. So now it was just the Belvaille Gentle Club.

The building itself was in the Housing district.

It was probably the oldest continued private establishment of any type on the station. But that and fifty credits will buy you a swift kick to the colon.

The place wasn’t exactly prestigious.

In its heyday it had been where gang thugs met and socialized and deals were made. Now it was just a dive bar. A very large dive bar.

Pample ran the door. He was a third or fourth or fifth generation “-ample” who owned the place. His grandpa, Dample, cooked sandwiches in the back.

Pample didn’t say a word as I came in. He never spoke to anyone.

I looked bad. I was almost naked, my skin blasted to ribbons, and I was still dripping blood everywhere.

There was a sign next to the coat check. “Leave heraldry at door.” They didn’t mean literally. It meant you were just a normal person here and loyalties to houses and nobles were suspended. This was a place where all the window washers and toilet scrubbers could come and drink and fight and get high and not worry about offending their patrician employers.

Nobles never came in here, not even the police did.

There used to be all kinds of glorious furniture, paintings, and sculptures here, but the –amples had to hock it all to pay for the upkeep. In the end, I think the city cut them a deal. I believe everyone recognized the benefit in having a place where the lower classes in the city could let off steam.

It was a ten-story building and it was wall-to-wall with people drinking, gambling, brawling, and throwing up. They wore fancy liveries and powdered wigs and gloves but they were drowning their sorrows all the same.

I plopped down on a seat, almost breaking the chair, and ordered up thirty sandwiches and three gallons of beer and a bottle of XX, a hard liquor.

I hadn’t gone home yet. I should probably go to the hospital. But all they would do was sedate me and stuff feeding tubes up my nose and mouth and let my mutation take care of everything and then overcharge me.

My skin and organs were too thick to be worked on medically and they couldn’t even scan me for problems. I figured I could tranquillize myself and stuff my own face without incurring the costs of a lengthy hospital stay. The doctors were just expensive middlemen.

My mutation required food. Lots of food. I should have bled to death on the trip back, but most of my wounds had already clotted and some of my major cuts were already blobbing up with a thick red pus. My hearing had mostly returned, but there was still a ringing in my right ear.

I looked like a chunk of raw meat that had tried to molest a blender and had been rebuffed.

“Keep ‘em coming,” I said, as the food and drink arrived. I could pack it away faster than they could bring it.

I was going to have to start drinking straight XX². My body was converting even the hard alcohol to building materials as soon as it hit my gut. I wasn’t getting the slightest buzz.

“You a servant of Maris-To?” I heard someone next to me ask.

I was about to tell him to shut the hell up and let me eat, but when I looked, he was wearing the heraldry of Maris-To himself, its three-pupiled eye staring right at me.

“Yeah, I guess,” I said. “Not a very good one, though.”

“You’re Hank, right?” he asked.

“How’d you know?”

“If you looked in the mirror you wouldn’t be asking that,” he said.

I wasn’t sure if this guy was insulting me or not. He was a servant, for sure, but he looked kind of…off. I mean even in the Gentle Club, the servants, no matter how drunk or drugged they got, still had poise about them. These were Belvaille city servants. Not some freighter jockeys scrubbing bulkheads.

But this guy, his hat was lopsided, his outfit didn’t fit right, his whole face seemed crooked.

It was like his arms and legs themselves were different lengths just to make his uniform seem irregular. But you couldn’t blame a guy for his body. You couldn’t point at one thing and say “this is wrong, shape up, mister.”

He would drive Cliston crazy.

“You work for Maris-To?” I asked him, mouth full of food.

“I worked for all of the City Councilmen at one point. Well, three of them,” he said, sipping a beer.

That was pretty shocking. Nobles hated the idea of sharing the same city with each other let alone sharing something as personal as servants. They usually hired them for life.

“Did you get fired or something?”

“Me? No, I got a perfect record,” he said. “I work the big house. Buffed the floors. Then they had me opening the doors. Then I was stocking closets. Good work.”

I stopped chewing as he talked. There was just something about him. His eyes were different colors. His nostrils modulated. He had at least five facial tics. You couldn’t tell if he was being perpetually sarcastic. And I understood. Servants were supposed to be invisible. Unless they were Clistons and then they were supposed to be imperial and majestic.

This guy was like a flickering light or dripping faucet. You couldn’t shake him. He wasn’t belligerent. He was just mildly off-putting.

“What’s your name?” I interrupted him.

“Lagla-nagla,” he said.

I spit out my food, laughing. Even his name was annoying. Imagine some austere director trying to say that every day and remain elegant.

“Right,” I said, “I’m a bit hungry…” and I didn’t even attempt his name, “but nice meeting you.”

After I had eaten, I decided I was finally going to have to go home and have Cliston berate me.

I should stock up on food and liquor on the way. Cliston wouldn’t buy anything except the best and I would hardly taste it as my mutation was trying to patch me up.

It was just a waste of money.

“Where is your tooth?” Cliston demanded at the door—my door.

“I lost it. Let me in.”

I was a bit drunk by this time, but more tired. I hadn’t gotten a lot of food, but I was rolling a keg of beer down the street making an awful racket.

“You’re covered in blood, sir. I just got new Ballanor carpet put down.”

I poked my head in. The apartment was covered in a brilliant light blue fur which looked like a tranquil lagoon. Or pictures of tranquil lagoons I had seen.

“I’m not covered in blood. Most of it is dry. Come on, Cliston, I’m exhausted.”

“Where are your clothes?”

“This is my house! Move out of the way!” I said, putting the keg down.

I tried to push past, but he stood in front of me.

Cliston was strong. I knew this. I could beat him pretty handily in a fight if it ever came to it, but not when I had just been thrashed by one of his distant cousins.

In the end we settled on Cliston wrapping me in a bed sheet and dragging me by my ankles to the master bathroom across the new carpeting.

“This is nice-looking carpet,” I said, now that I could see it from a few inches away.

“You are the only household on Belvaille that has it, sir. I wanted to put some in your office upstairs as well, but there wasn’t enough available.”

“What if someone tries to steal it?” I asked.

“Steal your carpet, sir? It’s quite heavy and bulky. It took dozens of artisans hours to install it.”

Yeah, I guess that made sense. There wasn’t a lot of thievery on Belvaille anyway.

When we got into the bathroom, Cliston helped me up and out of my sheet.

“Shall I run a bath for you, sir?”

“No, I just want to sleep. And eat. And drink. Get my keg.”

“You’ll need to be cleaned before you are put in bed. You’re absolutely filthy. I hope no one important saw you like this.”

I relented to receiving a bath after we hooked up a big straw to the keg.

Cliston cleaned my wounds expertly, but not especially gently. If he had to choose either leaving dirt on my skin or removing my skin, he chose the latter.

“Ow,” I said for the fourteenth time. I checked once again to see if he was holding sandpaper instead of a washcloth.

“I’ll call the jeweler tomorrow and schedule an appointment to get you a new tooth. I believe a ruby or sapphire would nicely contrast your diamond.”

“I’ll be asleep. Trust me, once my mutation kicks in, I won’t wake up for a week. You’ll need to feed me. Besides, I can’t afford it,” I complained.

“A check just came in from an anonymous source,” Cliston said delicately.

“Huh? What anonymous source? Malla?”

“It was anonymous, so I shouldn’t speculate,” he answered.

I could never understand Cliston’s protocol. He basically bullied me into my own bathroom and was scrubbing me within an inch of my life, but he wouldn’t say who the check was from.

“Guess. I’m asking you. Is it Malla?”

“I would suggest it might be one of your other clients,” he said cautiously.

“The City Council? I haven’t submitted a bill yet.”

“Maybe one of your other clients,” he said.

“Maris-To?”

“You may be right, sir,” he said, his voice rising as if that was clearly the correct answer and I was a truly smart Master having guessed it after only three attempts out of my three possible choices.

“Well, don’t cash it if it’s from Maris-To. I didn’t do so good today and he might want a refund.”

“He would never do such a thing,” Cliston said, scouring my back.

“What thing?”

“What you said.”

“What did I say? The refund?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Why?”

“It’s not my place to say, sir.”

“Would you stop that? Cliston, I don’t understand these people, I need your help. Why wouldn’t he want his check back? Look at me! Does it look like I had a successful negotiation?”

“Sir,” Cliston began, and his tone indicated he didn’t like being so blunt. “The check is anonymous to cash. He would have to reveal himself as the source and you as the recipient and whatever actions he was unhappy with as part of your Master-Servant relationship. I believe he wishes to remain anonymous.”

I sat there thinking about all that. I was getting really sleepy despite the abuse my skin was taking.

“How much is the check for?” I asked.

“I have it under control, sir.”

“I’m not a child. I used to deal with all my own money all the time,” I said.

“A gentleman does not concern himself with house finances,” Cliston said. “That is a Butler’s task.”

“I want food. And I’m running out of beer,” I pouted.

I pushed the keg, knocking it over.

CHAPTER 16

The second I was awake, I found myself in bed and Cliston standing by my feet.

“You have an appointment at City Hall, sir.”

“The City Hall?” I asked, as if there were ten different ones. I was still groggy.

“The same. You are to give a progress report to the City Council on your investigations.”

He handed me a small card. Looking at my tele, it was only an hour from now.

“How long have I been out?” I asked him.

“You have been in and out of consciousness for two days,” he said.

I held out my hand and Cliston helped me to my feet. I was stiff as a girder. I could feel my mutation already making my body denser to try and “protect” me. Maybe not a lot denser, but the ounces added up.

Cliston started to dress me and I didn’t recognize the clothes. There was a long, fur-trimmed coat, a tall hat, three layers of slacks that tucked into each other.

“This is taking forever, I won’t get there in time,” I complained.

“Your limo is waiting outside, sir.”

“Why did you rent a limo? A regular car is fine.”

“I purchased it, sir.”

I didn’t have time to argue. I was using my limited brain power to try and figure out what I was going to say to the City Council.

Cliston handed me a gem-studded walking stick and I began hurrying to the front door when I realized:

“You fixed my teeth?” I asked him.

“Yes, while you were indisposed. We went with a brilliant light sapphire with crisp rose streaks.”

“You replaced them both? Even the diamond one?” I licked my teeth.

“Yes, sir. The lone diamond was fine, but two teeth required a more complimentary color scheme,” he said.

Whatever.

Between my bad knees and the fifty layers of clothes, I almost ran into the door, but Cliston zipped ahead and opened it for me.

I walked out to my long black limousine with the driver standing by the open rear door.

“Good luck, sir. Feet forward. Cane taps along with its closest leg. Watch posture. Don’t play with your teeth—let people see them, but don’t show off. Nose up. Use your height.”

I felt like I was on my first date.

In my fine finery, I stood beneath the massive City Council chambers staring up again.

The people bustled around, passing notes and whispering just as they had before, completely ignoring my presence.

Finally the hum of activity died down, and I stood as straight as I could, my spine probably about to splinter.

Maris-To spoke.

“Have you determined anything about our departed City Councilman, Ray’Ziel?”

“I have, sir. He was murdered—”

I hadn’t planned on stopping there, but there was quite a bit of talk after that. People passed notes at a furious pace.

“It was a bomb,” I continued.

Murmurs and gasps.

They had to have known this, right? They were making it seem like I was giving them the Secret of Life.

“Thank you, Hank. Please keep us informed,” Gaktus, the Manufacturing City Councilman said.

I took off my hat and nodded my head, because it seemed like the thing to do.

And that was it.

They were done with me!

This had to be the greatest job ever. In a few months, I would say, “it was a big bomb.” Then, “a really big bomb.” Then I would tell them it had happened on Belvaille. And that he had been killed in the explosion and not from a piece of salad that was propelled by the explosion.

Maris-To was right. They didn’t want to know.

They had to have an investigation to make it look like they were doing something. And maybe dissuade anyone else from planting bombs.

They suspected it was Malla, but Malla was rich and not worth fighting. It would make all the nobles look bad if they were seen to be killing each other to get out of a dull marriage.

Malla herself said they didn’t care because the City Councilmen had all grown in power with the death of her husband. They hadn’t even made noise about scheduling a new election to find his replacement.

I was staring at myself in the mirror at home. I suppose I could get used to the teeth, but my natural ones would probably grow back in a few months. Teeth took longer to heal than most of my body.

“You have a visitor, sir.”

“Tell him to go away,” I grumbled.

“It is a female,” Cliston replied.

“Definitely tell her to go away.”

Garm pushed into the room.

“Miss Garm,” Cliston said. I notice he didn’t pretend to call her a lady.

“Go away,” I said.

She crossed her arms, waiting for Cliston.

“I’ll be doing your laundry if you need anything,” Cliston stated, leaving.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“Did you mess up my carpet?”

“Cliston wouldn’t let me walk on it. He carried me on his back. How the hell did you afford it? Do you have any idea how difficult Ballanor thread is to cultivate? They have to grow each strand.”

“Hmm,” I said, wondering what Garm really wanted and knowing it wasn’t good.

“How did you end up hurt, with gemstones for teeth?”

“Who said I was hurt?”

“You staggered from the port and drank yourself silly at the Gentle Club, trailing blood the whole way.”

Oh, yeah.

I thought about telling her what had happened, but I didn’t really know what had happened. I didn’t know why I had been talking to Master Machinists. I didn’t know what they were working on or what they weren’t working on.

I mean, they were talking silly and saying they were going to be their own country or something. Maybe that’s why I was there. I was still kind of iffy on who was paying me.

Besides, Garm wasn’t exactly a fountain of information. She didn’t tell me what her side projects were. So the way I saw it:

“It’s none of your business,” I said.

Her brow furrowed and I realized I didn’t have a gun and had just recently regained consciousness.

One reason I liked concussion grenades was because of Garm and her Quadrad. They were insanely fast. I could never dream of grabbing them. But I could pop a grenade and drop it at my own feet. Wouldn’t do much to me, but it would lay those skinny girls flat.

But my grenades were in the armory, three doors away.

“It is my business. I told you we were hired to protect Ray’Ziel and avenge him if he fell.”

“Fell? That’s a cute word.”

“Fine, was exploded. I’ve got a contract to fulfill.”

I was about to give her a chilly answer when all of a sudden I panicked. If I actually found the killer, or Garm did, I stopped getting paid! I could milk this job for years, but not if Garm came in avenging people.

“Garm, I’ve been appointed by the City Council and the Governor himself to investigate this foul situation. Rest assured that every effort is being taken to ascertain the exact details. When and if a complete picture is made, I will present my findings to City Hall.”

She stared at me for some moments.

“You rotten sack of spit! You’re not doing anything, are you? That’s how you got that carpet, and that mouthful of grand larceny, and that giant car. You’re just going to keep billing the government and riding it out.”

“Garm—” I started.

“Shut up! You might be sitting on your hands but the Quadrad aren’t. We’ll figure it out. We signed a deal and no one can say we ever leave a contract unfulfilled. Keep shining your teeth, pretty boy, I don’t need you.”

Garm spun and marched out.

In the distance I heard her yell.

“Cliston, you touch me and I swear I’ll set this carpet on fire!”

“Nertz,” I said.

It wasn’t just Garm’s contract. It was her whole Quadrad organization. However many that was. They were going to put me back in the poor house just to piss me off.

CHAPTER 17

I wanted to stop by Delovoa’s to see how he had progressed on analyzing my soup.

Also, I didn’t want to wait any longer because I knew he would bill me for the time. If possible, I would see about replacing my Gravitonic gun. I felt vulnerable with no real weapons.

I got in an argument in the hallway with Cliston about what I could carry. I wanted to bring five grenades, but he said there was nowhere to put them without making myself look like a shoplifter leaving a surplus store.

I had to wait around while he went out and bought me a handbag.

“That’s a purse. I’m not carrying a purse full of grenades,” I said.

“You’re not wearing a bandolier. You aren’t a third-rate-planet outlaw. You are working directly for the City Council. How you appear reflects upon them and may influence your continued employment.”

I sighed and loaded up.

He also wouldn’t let me outside until my limo had been called. It was ungentlemanly to wait on one’s front porch. So I waited just inside my front porch.

I got the idea that I should buy Delovoa a gift. A little bribery might make him more pliable to work with. But what do you get a sociopath mutant whose guts are in a wheelbarrow?

I wandered the upscale shops in the Trade District looking for something that caught my eye. There really wasn’t much here in my price range. I would probably have to go off-station to the hundreds of market freighters floating in the Sector.

In an art gallery, however, I saw a statue of a naked Colmarian inexplicably wearing boots and gloves and looking absent-minded, and I immediately thought of Delovoa, so I bought it on credit.

Two burly men tried to load it into my limo and I thought they were doing a pretty bad job. I could easily carry it myself, but then someone might see me doing manual labor and we couldn’t have that.

“Thanks,” I said, when they finally got it inside.

One of the porters left, but one stayed. I suspected he wanted a tip, but Cliston had all my money.

“Hank, right?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“Nice marble?” he questioned, indicating the statue.

“It’s for Delovoa,” I explained.

“Ah,” he said, alarmed, and put his hands on top of his head.

The details were sketchy, but one of the experiments Delovoa had been conducting involved mass irradiating of the population from the latticework above. Just saying Delovoa’s name often made people uncomfortable. Many felt he should have been locked up. Or worse.

The porter looked me over a bit. My purse. My fancy clothes. But then he stepped closer and glanced around conspiratorially.

“I got news for you,” he said.

“Okay.”

“Tax man is coming.”

“Now?” I asked.

“No. I got a buddy who works—well, let’s say he works around. But he saw your name come up for an audit. Just be ready.”

I shrugged. I had no clue how much money I made, let alone how much in taxes I owed.

“Alright. Why’re you telling me this?”

“You did a solid for me once. You probably don’t remember. When you was Supreme Kommilaire. I was sentenced to—” and he looked around again and lowered his voice, “the slab. But you let me off with two years.”

“Wow, must have been a long time ago.”

“Yeah. You was real fat then.”

“It wasn’t fat. I was just thick. Whatever. Thanks for the tip.”

“No problem. Old Belvaille pride,” he said with a grin and a wink.

Old Belvaille. What he considered old was probably a hundred years after I had been kicking around here.

Now he was loading fruity statues in limos and I was buying fruity statues.

CHAPTER 18

I had the driver pull up as close to Delovoa’s front door as possible to minimize the number of people seeing me unload his nude statue.

The Po answered the door.

“Delovoa,” I said, shaking my arms around to try and communicate to the mute creature.

It disappeared and Delovoa came into view pushing his vitals. I was not going to get used to seeing that anytime soon. Also, one of the wheels on his cart had developed a squeak. It made the whole thing more perverse somehow.

“Hank,” he said, “come in.”

“I got you a present.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” he said suspiciously.

I opened the door wider and went back to the limo.

I looked up and down the street to see if it was clear.

Just like I thought, the statue wasn’t very difficult for me to carry. It was just bulky. I backed it into the foyer as Delovoa squeaked out of the way.

“What is it?” he asked.

“It’s a hair net, what does it look like?”

I put it on the floor and stood it upright. Delovoa gazed at it with a critical eye. Well, three critical eyes. I stepped outside and told my driver to wait in the car.

“Who made it?” Delovoa asked of the statue.

“I have no idea.”

“How much did it cost?”

“A gentleman never asks such things,” I said sternly.

He looked at me, the blood squirting against the glass dome of his skull.

“I’m not a gentleman and you’re not a gentleman, no matter what you wear.”

“Well, do you like it?” I asked.

“Yes, it’s lovely. Move it over to the living room. Clear some space!” he barked, and the Po made a statue-sized gap in the piles of technology strewn about the home.

I carried the statue and put up with Delovoa’s countless orders to move it this way or that. I could tell he really liked it.

“There,” he said. “Perfect. Okay. Now you didn’t buy me a statue for nothing. What did you do?”

I sighed.

“My Gravitonic gun blew up. I need another one.”

“Blew up? How?”

“Big robot with a bigger gun.”

“On Belvaille?” Delovoa was shocked. He had personally built robots in the past and was probably worried someone was encroaching on his business.

“No. Some Machinists on X0113B in Education Sector. It was a stupid design.”

“Oh. It will be hard to get the materials for a new Gravitonic gun. They are banned on the station. And they even have some of those Central Authority twerps snooping around now and then with detectors to see if I’m building anything that’s not approved.”

“Banned materials? Why? What was wrong with it? I mean, was there anything besides the risk of it exploding?” I asked, knowing Delovoa’s disregard for safety.

“Under the right circumstances, the components could cause cancerous growths.”

“My Gravitonic gun? What circumstances?” I asked, worried.

He fidgeted.

“Being near it.”

“You moron, I carried that gun all the time.”

“It wouldn’t give you cancer, your skin is too thick, and your mutation would just heal it.”

“What about people around me?”

“It wouldn’t give them cancer unless they were nearby for a long time. Your butler is a Dredel Led. He can’t get cancer.”

“What about my secretary?”

He thought about that.

“It’s not like secretary is an important job.”

“She’s a,” and I couldn’t say “sweet girl,” because she wasn’t. I couldn’t even say “helpful.” “She comes from a really rich family. If I give her cancer, they’re not going to be happy. She’s a Choste-ah,” I said, giving her family name.

“I know them. I sold them a marital aid not long ago. Besides, how would they know it was you? People get cancer all the time. So do you want another gun?”

“Not one that causes cancer!”

Delovoa tapped his fingers on his wheelbarrow.

“I was working on something for you anyway that might work. It’s a reusable concussion grenade. Kind of like the Gravitonic gun. It recharges. But unlike the gun, it’s a real grenade, so it explodes in all directions.”

Delovoa made some motions to his Po servant who ran off and appeared a moment later. It handed Delovoa an object which he handed to me.

It was clearly a technological device, a silver sphere that was a few inches in diameter and had some little colored lights on it. There was a space between the rounded parts of the sphere and I got the sense it could collapse smaller if depressed.

“So what does it do?” I asked.

“You squeeze it, not too hard, and it activates. Then it explodes just like one of your concussion grenades—though with more force. Also, your grenades are straight explosives, this is…well, long story short, it’s energy.”

“I want a gun, not a grenade. I already got grenades,” I said, shaking my purse as proof.

“You were always complaining how you hated buying new grenades and your butler thought they were too big for your clothes. You can reuse this multiple times.”

“How many times?”

“Ten,” he said, and I could tell he just made that number up.

“I don’t see a great use for this.”

“Yeah, but wait. Because you are you, you can hold that in your hand. If you activate it, you can channel the force in whatever direction you want. Like a gun.”

Delovoa held his hands with the rear palms together and the fingertips apart, making a “less than” symbol.

“So I squeeze it and cup a grenade in my hands?” I asked skeptically.

“Yes. You can narrow or widen the blast with your hands. Kind of like the Gravitonic gun. It has some of the same concepts.”

“You want me to stand there, in a fight, with my hands frozen in mid-clap, while my target is moving all around?”

“Yes.”

“That’s the most useless weapon ever,” I said.

“It’s either this or a normal gun. And you said you don’t want to use bullets.”

“I don’t want to use bullets because I’ll get arrested if I kill some posh nobleman. I got no problem with bullets. I’m bulletproof. Everyone else has a problem with them.”

“I don’t have anything else except guns. I don’t even have many of those. Everyone who shoots people nowadays lives in the Sectors. And most aren’t allowed to even dock here let alone shop.”

“Yeah.” I looked at the grenade. I guessed I could do something with it. “So what about my soup?” I asked.

“Right. Speaking of which, are you hungry? I need to change my fluids.”

I thought I might be a bit grossed out watching whatever he had to do, but I was hungry.

“I can eat.”

We went to his dining room and the Po brought out some food. Delovoa’s changing of fluids was pretty minimal. It was over in a few minutes.

He spent the rest of the time eating and drinking. He had removed his toilet, so I didn’t want to think about how he got rid of his waste.

“You ever get the idea Belvaille is kind of cursed?” I asked.

“No, why?”

“So much bad has happened here. We’ve been invaded. Almost destroyed. Had Therezians stomping around. Got transported across the galaxy. Now all these rich people are tearing down buildings and enforcing dress codes.”

“Hank. You realize there was a galactic civil war, right? Countless billions of people died. Whole planets were wiped out. Entire regions of space were lost. You think Belvaille is cursed because they make you wear a tie?”

“So is Tamshius’ soup a drug?” I asked, changing the subject as I ate. Delovoa’s food wasn’t very good. But the Po servant couldn’t be expected to be a great chef. It didn’t have a nose or mouth.

“Drug is a pretty broad description. It’s certainly not a soup. You couldn’t have made this dish with just the ingredients sitting in a pantry.”

“No, the ingredients were at the restaurant. And it was very complicated. I messed up a few times.”

“I can imagine.”

“So what’s it do?” I asked.

“I have no idea.”

“That’s your analysis? I’m not paying you for that,” I said.

“Organic chemistry isn’t mechanical engineering. You can’t just look at something under a microscope and guess how it will interact with another organism. Most of my old quantum chemistry gear is gone. It’s clear it isn’t a normal soup. They’re highly complex, biologically-active molecules. I need to study it in progress.”

“Well, I’m not drinking any more so you’re out of luck.”

“You just did,” he said.

I looked at my food.

“You ass! You poisoned me?”

“You already had it once and it didn’t kill you. I gave you a small amount compared to what you said you had before.”

I couldn’t even answer. Delovoa was such a jerk.

“Look,” he said, “you hired me to find out what it does. This is the only way to do it.”

“I could tell you what it does. I could just drink it without your help.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“I wanted to know…scientifically what it does. Is it a drug? Does it make people high?”

“Did you get high?”

“I’m not most people, I’m a mutant.”

“Right, and something that can affect you that much would probably kill just about anyone else. So don’t go trying to sell it or you’ll just end up with dead clients.”

“You can’t even scan me. No one can scan me. How will you be able to tell what it’s doing in my system?”

“Oh, you won’t be staying here,” he said, holding up his hands. “I don’t want you going crazy in my house.”

I sat there stewing.

“I’m taking my statue back,” I said finally.

“Where are you going to put it? I could see you were embarrassed just being in the same room with it.”

“Well, I’m not paying you,” I said, defiant.

“You’ll pay me. When you come back tomorrow I’ll run some tests.”

“You can’t scan me!”

“Scanning isn’t the only way to get data. You can breathe. You can spit. You can urinate. I might not be able to poke anything through that ugly skin of yours, but you can still give samples.”

“I’m going to leave a big steaming pile of sample right on your front door,” I yelled.

Delovoa shrugged.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

CHAPTER 19

I came home and found, quite to my annoyance, Malla sitting in my living room.

“I invited her to come in out of the cold and await your return,” Cliston said, referring to the climate-controlled environment of Belvaille.

I waved Cliston to lean in so I could talk to him without her hearing.

“Why?” I whispered to him. “You know I don’t want her here.”

“You can’t have a lady standing on your doorstep, sir. It looks improper,” he whispered back.

All of this was improper.

“Hank,” she said, when Cliston had finally left our conspiratorial huddle.

She stood up in her floor-length black gown that was so tight she was threatening to become two-dimensional. Her hips bounced in almost comical exaggeration.

She kissed my cheek.

“What brings you here?” I asked.

Malla took my hand and pulled me back to the couch.

“I love your carpet. So luxurious. Cliston, no doubt.”

“I don’t even know what it’s called,” I complained.

“Ballanor,” she said, taking a seat. “I’m cross with you.”

I sat down next to her.

“Why?” I asked, though I didn’t want to know.

“You haven’t spoken to me or updated me.”

“Updated you on what?”

“On your assignment,” she said.

“Which assignment?”

“The one I gave you,” she smiled.

“Your husband was definitely in danger,” I said with authority.

“Tell me how he died.”

I squirmed a bit.

“I can’t. I’m hired by someone else to do that. You know, confidential,” I said.

“We’ll make a new contract. And I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” she said politely.

“I don’t want to know anything,” I said seriously.

“I didn’t kill my husband. I could have if I wanted to.”

I grimaced. I’d cover my ears if I didn’t think Cliston would run in and smack me.

“Did you see anyone when he was killed?” she asked.

“Sure. It was in the middle of the city.”

“Anyone in particular though?”

“Particular? Like what do you mean? Wearing funny shoes? I don’t think we should talk about this, Malla.”

“You didn’t kill him, did you?”

“Your husband?” I asked, shocked. “Why would I? You hired me to follow him. I’d be killing my source of revenue.”

“Not if someone offered you more. It’s okay. I’m glad he’s gone. I just want us to be honest with each other.”

“Why?” I asked.

“You don’t think we should be honest?”

“I don’t think we should be anything. Except wonderfully friendly past business associates,” I added hastily.

She gave me a tiny smile, put her hand on my shoulder to help her stand up, and then in one quick motion, unzipped her gown, which fell on my ridiculous carpet.

She was naked underneath. Again.

“You must save a fortune on underwear.”

I woke up the next morning with a start.

Malla was putting her gown back on. When she was done, she placed an envelope on top of my dresser.

“What’s that?” I asked, still in bed.

“For your services.”

“I don’t want another job. I’ll get in trouble with my other employers.”

“No, it’s for,” and she motioned to the bed.

“Are you saying I’m a gigolo?”

“Don’t use that word, it’s crude.”

“Things are crude whether you say them or not.”

She sighed.

“This is a way for us to maintain a Master-Servant relationship.”

I scratched my head.

“I’m not really comfortable with this, Malla. Can’t I like…paint your house or something?”

“Besides, I may have other work for you, yet.”

I grew alarmed.

“Like what?”

“I can be very beneficial to you, Hank. You are looking for my husband’s murderer. I knew all about his dealings and relationships. And I am one of the wealthiest patrons in the System.”

As always, Malla spoke so pleasantly. So properly. I just got the sense I was walking in a minefield and there were all kinds of veiled threats and innuendo that I didn’t fully grasp.

“I can give Cliston a retainer for your services. Say, a weekly stipend for living arrangements?” She stood straight as a beam in her trim black gown, yet looked relaxed. Like she was born wearing a tiara.

“I need to know what I’m being hired to do,” I said.

“To keep a lonely widow company. Shower me with some of that sparkling wit of yours.”

“I’m not very sparkly at the best of times,” I answered.

“Don’t underestimate yourself. You’re so much more interesting than the people in my usual social circles. You’re in all the newspapers.”

Crap. I had totally forgotten about Rendrae seeing us together at prison.

“Besides,” she continued with a grin, “I like being with you. There is something naughty about spending the night here. Don’t you find it thrilling to mix classes?”

I gave her a stale look. I had as many vices as the next man. Still, I didn’t go around telling everyone my kinks and flaws. Your vices stopped being vices if you celebrated them with strangers. They became perverted trophies.

I didn’t want Malla around, despite me falling into bed with her twice against my better judgment. I blamed Tamshius’ soup. This time from Delovoa. But whatever caused my lapse wouldn’t matter if people thought I murdered a City Councilman so I could get with his wife. They’d chop me up into pieces and put all those pieces in prison forever.

But what was I going to say? A few months ago I couldn’t dream of having clients like this. If a City Councilman—or the widow of one—wanted to hire me, it wasn’t easy to say no without repercussions. I didn’t know much about Belvaille nobility, but I knew that much.

Besides, if every indication was true and she killed her husband, she would have no difficulty whatsoever killing me. I had to find a safe way to disentangle myself from her while giving her the confidence that I wouldn’t rat her out. Presumably that was the real reason she wanted me around—or at least part of it.

“Sure,” I shrugged. “I guess I can sparkle for a paycheck.”

CHAPTER 20

When Malla had gone I decided to read what was up in the news while Cliston fixed me some breakfast.

But my head was racing and my eyes were blurry and I just had too much on my mind to concentrate on the tele.

I was used to the old-style teles with their big type and clear reading. They had been manufactured by the Colmarian Confederation itself. The new ones were junk.

Cliston, ever the able servant, picked up my tele and began reading aloud.

“The Prison Break: Hank of Belvaille was seen being escorted out of Central Authority prison by none other than Ray’Ziel’s late wife, Malla. The recently slain City Councilman of Education District had as many friends as enemies and it is unclear who was behind his death or what the motive was. With the passing of Orgono Dultz and Tamshius qua-Froyeled, Hank is now the oldest continuous citizen of Belvaille. His involvement makes the already significant death of a City Councilman even more portentous.”

“Wow,” I said. “I didn’t know Orgono Dultz was dead. He was the guy who first hired me. I worked in the sewers, you know, Cliston.”

“Would you like me to read more, sir?” he said, ignoring any mention of sewers. “There are other articles.”

“Nah,” I said. “I think I’m going to go for a walk.”

“I’ll have the car brought around.”

“Then it wouldn’t be a walk,” I explained.

“You are not dressed for it. Besides, if I know your digestion, it will do you no benefit to go strutting around immediately after eating.”

“I wasn’t going to strut. I was just going to walk. Fine. Call the limo.”

As I stood there like a proper gentleman waiting for my ride, I didn’t feel old. I felt very young. I opened and closed my hand. It didn’t creak and the skin on my knuckles was smooth. There was every indication that I had many decades or even centuries left in me.

But my mind was old. I had forgotten all the things I had forgotten. My poor little saucepan of a brain had overflowed long ago. I used to go out of my way trying to remember names, but everyone I remembered was dead. Even in the best of times, I sometimes got hopelessly muddled.

It was a bad state of being for someone in my profession. But at least I was getting better work.

I went outside and Cliston closed the door behind me.

“Sir,” I heard the driver say from the curb.

“Yes?”

I looked up and saw the driver crouched behind the car and pointing backwards over his head.

In the road behind him were five Central Authority vehicles parked barricade style blocking the street at either end of my building. Dozens of Central Officers partially hid behind their vehicles with their weapons drawn and aimed at me. One car was directly opposite and I saw MTB standing with a megaphone.

“Open fire!” MTB signaled.

They weren’t playing around. Two rockets streaked out from either side.

My evasive action skills were normally pretty lousy. When I heard loud bangs or explosions, I tended to look around curiously. I had never developed an appropriate level of caution because I was bulletproof. But rockets weren’t bullets.

Fortunately, they both missed and hit the front of my house.

What sounded like a hundred guns began firing, however, and those had better aim.

My poor driver was pulling his cap down to try and protect himself.

“Hey,” I started. But then I didn’t actually know my driver’s name. I didn’t know the name of several of my servants. I didn’t actually know how many servants I had anymore. I would just wake up and see people walking around my home. They could be burglars for all I knew. “Get out of here, buddy!” I yelled to him over the gunfire.

He crawled away at haste.

I didn’t have my purse of grenades. Or a gun. Or even a wallet to try and bribe them. And in a few seconds more, I wouldn’t have any clothes, as the downpour of bullets whisked my garments away.

The impacts stung, but they weren’t using any heavy weapons, which struck me as odd. MTB knew those guns wouldn’t do me any lasting harm. The rockets, however, would. I had to avoid them. Though it was unlikely I would spontaneously develop anti-rocket reflexes.

I took a wave of shots from my right which disintegrated half of my jacket.

Delovoa’s reusable grenade rolled in front of me.

It gleamed of revenge.

I grabbed it and stood up. I squeezed it and felt it compress in my hand. I then cupped my two hands together to channel the blast like Delovoa had shown me. I aimed for the two cars to the right, where I thought one rocket had originated.

“Eat suck, suckface!”

“Take cover!” MTB screamed.

All the shooting stopped and the Central Officers ducked behind their cars.

There was a tone from the grenade and I braced my legs for the impact.

The tone was still going on.

I cleared my throat.

A few C.O.’s peeked up.

Come to think of it, I didn’t ask Delovoa how long it took this grenade to go off.

I was standing there frozen in some heroic pose as all these armed soldiers merely watched. They had to wonder if this was some elaborate, albeit embarrassing, trick.

As the C.O.’s were rising, I got the sense the only thing that was stopping them from shooting was my triumphant stance. So I wasn’t about to change positions anytime soon and I did my best to look like I knew what I was doing.

“Hold,” MTB relayed cautiously.

A few more moments ticked by, with more of the men standing and looking to MTB for guidance.

The grenade then exploded.

And it exploded in Delovoa fashion.

It was absolutely preposterous to think that clasping my palms together could contain the blast from some high-tech energy grenade. I was basically holding aloft a bomb in my hands to show how stupid I was.

My arms flew apart and almost wrenched themselves from their sockets. The blow then hit me square in the chest and I catapulted backwards and slammed against my front door and flopped to the ground.

Cliston opened the door.

“Sir?” he asked.

“Close it!” I screamed, and he closed the door immediately.

Why did I say that? I should have told him to drag me inside.

I looked at my hands and they were bleeding and raw, but I still had them.

Which was nice.

Some shots started bouncing off me and I realized this wasn’t over. Amazingly, me blowing myself up had not impressed them.

If there had been any damage from my “channeled” grenade, I couldn’t see it.

What was I going to do?

“Sir!” I heard Cliston say behind me.

“What?” I answered, annoyed.

My purse of grenades landed next to me and I heard the door slam. Cliston was…the greatest butler ever.

“Eat suck, suckface!” I yelled, hoping to redeem myself a bit.

But they weren’t buying it. They just figured that was a code for “watch me kill myself.” They continued firing.

I was not a good thrower. My body was too heavy to generate the momentum.

But whether it was adrenaline or Tamshius’ soup, I reached into the purse, threw out four grenades, jumped down my front steps, and was hiding behind my limo before the grenades had even landed.

I heard them go off in sequence. Poom Poom Poom Poom!

The C.O.’s were armored and well-trained. I didn’t expect those grenades would do much more than rattle them for a moment.

I could get in my car, but I didn’t have keys. And the road was blockaded. And I didn’t know how to drive.

I threw two more grenades in high arcs, which looked a lot scarier because you had all that time to watch them coming at you.

Poom Poom!

My purse was empty and I figured I would have to try bloody-hand-to-hand fighting. If I could get to MTB, I could break his arms and make him tell his men to stand down. But I needed to move before they rocketed my limo. And I would have to run across the street to reach him, getting shot up on the way.

As I turned to situate my legs and get ready to move, I looked down and saw Delovoa’s foolish grenade. It must have bounced down here.

It felt like time slowed down and my thoughts sped up. The grenade had flung me like a doll even holding it at arm’s length.

I picked it up, squeezed it, and placed it against the limo.

I turned around so the grenade was pressed in the center of my upper back. I braced my legs against the curb and my arms against my knees.

This was going to hurt.

The grenade exploded and I knew my limo was airborne.

All I could think of as I was mashed forward by the force of the grenade was, “What a classy way to die. Crushed by a limousine.”

I turned and saw my car had demolished MTB’s vehicle and scattered half the C.O.’s.

From their faces, it seemed the soldiers were starting to second guess this adventure. I wasn’t dropping and I had just thrown my car at them.

Moreover, the grenade was right behind me. It had dropped straight down.

Delovoa said I had ten uses. I sure hoped he was right.

I stood up, as defiant as I could manage, and pressed the grenade. I was going for psychological now. I didn’t even know what I’d do with it.

“Wait! Hold your fire! Everyone, hold your fire!” MTB said.

He crawled from behind the wreckage of the cars.

“We’re here about your taxes,” he said.

I looked at the grenade in my hand, its tone very menacing.

“I can’t stop it,” I said.

There was nowhere in my limited range I could throw it safely.

I put it on the ground and stood on top with both feet, locking my legs.

“You owe me!” I shouted.

Seconds later, I was in the air.

I could see halfway across the city!

Then I started tumbling.

Then things went black.

I must have landed on my face because I was on my stomach, my jaw hurt, and a bunch of C.O.’s were trying to turn me over.

“Easy. Easy,” MTB said.

“Dammit.”

I spit out a tooth. At least this time it was one of my lower ones. Maybe Cliston wouldn’t notice.

Even with four C.O.’s roughly pulling, they weren’t budging me.

“Quit it,” I said.

I turned over on my own and checked to see if I was still alive. I figured I did most of the damage to myself. Still, I glowered at MTB.

“We wanted to send a message,” he said.

“What’s wrong with a tele? Or even a courier? A nice handwritten note works wonders!”

“Like you would have cared. I’m on to you, Hank. We know what you’re doing.”

“You do? Because I don’t.”

I struggled to my feet, which ached worse than my hands.

“I thought you were supposed to be investigating a murder,” I said.

“I thought you were too, and not trying to defraud the station. I could have you up on embezzlement of city property now that you’re also working for Belvaille,” he said.

“Defraud how?”

“You have a whole building in the Trade District and you haven’t paid one credit in taxes. That’s stealing,” he said.

“How can I possibly steal a building? What am I going to do, walk away with it? I don’t even want it.”

“Regardless of what you want, you have to obey the laws like everyone else. No special treatment,” he said, his voice steely and annoying.

“And this wasn’t special?” I said, indicating the attack. “I’ve been behind on my fees and assessments for the last ten or so years and I never had a platoon sent after me. What if you killed me? How would you get your money?”

“Show him,” MTB said to one of his soldiers.

The C.O. held up his gun. It was highly technical, but with a very slim barrel.

“Let me see it,” I said.

The man hesitated until MTB nodded.

“It’s a high velocity .15 caliber. It wasn’t going to hurt you.”

MTB must have seen my expression.

“We have them in case we need to put down disturbances on spaceships. It won’t damage the interiors,” he continued.

That was actually pretty smart.

I poked the soldier in the chest with the barrel. I could see and feel he had on thick body armor.

Braddadada!

I shot him in the chest with a burst and he fell backwards.

“Yeah, doesn’t feel so good, does it?” I taunted.

The other C.O.’s took up arms, but MTB lowered his hands.

“Easy! Hank, you need to get straight and fast.”

“What about those rockets?” I accused. “Those could have easily done me in.”

“No warheads on them. Just practice rounds.”

I guess I didn’t notice them not exploding.

“I don’t know your endgame, but I’ll find out, Hank. It won’t matter which City Councilman you’re hiding behind, we work for the Governor,” he threatened.

“I’m not doing anything. Or at least I’m trying not to,” I said quite honestly.

We stood there facing each other a moment and I looked at my bloody hands and feet and missing tooth and the pile-up of cars.

“This really can’t have been worth collecting delinquent taxes,” I said.

“Then you must not have seen the amount you owe.”

CHAPTER 21

“I was going to sell it,” I said.

“And who were you going to sell it to? Sir,” Cliston asked.

He was mad at me because I didn’t tell him about the soup shop.

“I don’t know. Whoever wants a building in Trade District. There has to be plenty of people. They can knock down my place and put up a shiny skyscraper. Not a very wide one, but still.”

“There are certainly dozens of people who can afford that. But they won’t be reading about it on the want ads of their teles. You must woo them. Find their interests. Go on an outing together. There are ways these things are handled.”

“Well, I didn’t know,” I sulked. I didn’t feel like getting a metallic tongue-lashing as I was recuperating in bed. The Central Authority hadn’t done much damage, but Delovoa’s grenade had.

“The tax liabilities on that establishment are vast. Not just the ongoing fees, but the lump sum you are required to pay on being given it in the first place. You would have saved yourself considerable embarrassment and another tooth if you had consulted me first, sir.”

I rotated my jaw. My hands and feet were bandaged and I felt like crap.

I wasn’t a great fighter. I was just strong and durable enough that being a bad fighter was still good. However, during my clash with the C.A., I had been three steps above my usual form. I moved faster, thought faster, fought better than I normally did.

Not only that, but I had another excellent night with Malla. A woman I was extremely anxious about being with.

It had to be Tamshius’ formula that Delovoa slipped me.

Fighting and fornicating. It was an odd combination, but maybe I could market and sell that soup.

“So what about these taxes? How much are they?” I asked.

“I don’t have all the details yet, they are working out the specifics. But I believe they are enough to completely cancel the gains from your primary work.”

“The City Council?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Damn. And I thought the taxes on this place were high,” I said.

“You were grandfathered in here to an extent.”

“Tamshius was older than me. He should be great-grandfathered.”

“He is dead. You are the new owner. A brand new assessment takes place.”

“Well, that sucks,” I said.

If Garm and her Quadrad found the killer like she threatened, then I’d really be screwed. I wouldn’t be able to pay my taxes. Then maybe MTB would put warheads on his rockets when he came to collect.

“How do I get rid of it, Cliston? I don’t want to go back to being poor.”

“I was going to regretfully decline on your behalf, seeing as how you are still on the mend, but Maris-To has invited you to his home for a ball.”

“Ball of what?”

“A party, sir.”

“Oh. Maris-To has a ton of cash, do you think he’d buy the restaurant?” I asked, excited.

Cliston paused and I could see he was losing a bit of his infinite patience.

“Sir, you do not simply ask a City Councilman to buy your soup shop. Especially one located in a rival District. But at the ball there will likely be many important investors.”

I looked at my hands.

“I’m not going to be healed in time. Dumb Delovoa. I’m not going to pay him anything.”

“I can get you some gloves,” he said. “And we can get you a replacement tooth.”

“Nothing fancy! Just a tooth. I can’t afford fancy.”

“An emerald,” Cliston said, after a moment.

“How is that not fancy? No one is going to see my lower teeth. My lips cover them up,” I said.

He just stood there. I don’t know why I bothered.

“Fine. Get me some padded socks too. My feet are blistered.”

As the jeweler was working on my mouth I felt the need to complain.

“You know, my replacement teeth are just going to push these gemstones out and I’m going to look like I have three fangs.”

“You regrow teeth?” the jeweler asked, the light on his forehead momentarily shining in my eyes.

“Yeah, I have before. I regrew two whole fingers once.”

“We can get you caps as your teeth repair themselves,” Cliston said.

“That’s too expensive,” I complained.

“Really? And how much do they cost, sir?” Cliston chided. He was pointing out that I didn’t actually know the price tags on any of this. Or how much I made. Or how much he made.

“Well, I assume.”

“Done,” the jeweler said. “How does that feel?”

I licked at my new emerald.

“Like a fake tooth.”

“It looks exquisite. You’re starting a trend. I had three new customers request them in the last week,” the jeweler said.

“It would really be a trend if they landed on their faces like I did.”

But he didn’t get the joke.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Cliston said. “I’ll show you to the door.”

“Thank you for having me. Call me again if you need more.” He smiled at me with normal teeth.

I got up from my chair and started dressing myself for the ball.

Cliston came in and undressed me.

“I just put that on,” I complained.

“It wasn’t straight,” he said. “If you want to look for potential clients and buyers, you need to look the part. You are a gentleman.”

“No, I’m not, Cliston. I’m a thug.”

Cliston grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face him.

“You are a gentleman thug. Thugs are the dirty riff raff in the Sectors off-station. These nobles would never deal directly with such people. Not even their underlings would. You have risen to become an employee of a City Councilman and even the entire City Council. There is no one else who does what you do in this entire System! Sir.”

He went back to fixing my clothes and I stood there blinking. He was right. I’m not even sure if Garm and her Quadrad worked directly for the City Council. She said they were hired to protect Ray’Ziel, but I had a tough time seeing the City Council hire assassins. That would look terrible.

“I bought you a new car,” Cliston said absently.

“How big?”

“Bigger than your last one.”

I threw up my arms, exasperated.

“Keep still, sir. Perhaps this one will be too large for you to destroy.”

“The fact it was that size kept me alive,” I exaggerated.

“That is quite an exaggeration, sir. Besides, every time you do something like that you need to re-prove to the city that you belong here. To be sure, there are people here who think you are a thug and you should reside on some dusty freighter in deep space. But you are the oldest citizen here, am I correct?”

“That’s right,” I said, growing a bit heated at the idea of people wanting me gone.

“Then show them you can beat them at their own game. This is your city.”

“Yeah,” I said. And I stood up a bit straighter at the pep talk.

CHAPTER 22

My new car was not as big as I thought it would be. I guess you couldn’t have a limo too large or it wouldn’t be able to turn the corners. How Cliston kept managing to buy cars on a space station was beyond me. Was there a dealership here I didn’t know about?

It was comfortable inside and my driver didn’t seem to hold a grudge that he had been at the periphery of a one-sided firefight not long ago.

Food District was packed with cars. I’d never seen so many in all my years on Belvaille.

“What’s everyone doing here?” I asked the driver.

“The ball,” he answered.

“Do you know what the ball is for? Or do they just have balls?”

“Cliston would know, sir.”

Yeah. He had known. He had tried telling me when he was giving me my shave, but I fell asleep. I was tired and hungry. My body was in recovery mode and I wasn’t in the mood for a ball.

We tried to pull near Maris-To’s ominous mansion, but the cars were backed up for blocks.

I observed an elaborate ceremony where each vehicle’s occupants were let out one at a time. This would take forever.

“I’m getting out here,” I said.

“Here? Cliston wouldn’t approve, sir.”

“Then don’t tell him.”

“Tele when you would like me to pick you up, sir.”

“Alright.”

I got out and realized I still didn’t know his name and thus couldn’t tele him. I’d have to call Cliston later.

I walked down the sidewalk and some guards immediately stopped me.

They were District toughs. Basically lesser versions of me. Guys who were smart enough to be entrusted with cracking skulls on Belvaille, but also smart enough to know when not to. They reminded me of old Colmarian Navy officers.

The toughs saw me, saw my outfit, and gauged instantly I was somebody.

“Invitation, sir?”

That just cracked me up. It had taken them a second to go from belligerent to inquisitive. And these were just the guys working the sidewalk.

I reached into my jacket and held out my invitation. They had an electric scanner which could spot phonies.

“Welcome to the ball. Would you like us to order you an electric cart? There is still a ways to walk.”

I was worried I would wait for the cart and it wouldn’t be able to carry me—a fairly likely outcome.

“I’m fine, thanks.”

I passed a dozen more guards but none of them questioned me. They were either all in communication or they had their perimeter so tight that they knew by default I was approved.

It was little things like this that impressed me more than anything. Maris-To was certainly rich, but it was in ways I couldn’t comprehend. Security I understood. It would take me months to set up a cordon like this, hiring guys I trusted or almost trusted. Entire blocks around this mansion were secured, with traffic being routed efficiently. It was a tremendous undertaking that had been handled seamlessly.

My feet hurt already as I got inside.

Someone announced my name over a speaker system. I didn’t know who or how, as I hadn’t told anyone my name or that I had arrived.

“Hank of Belvaille, formerly of the state of Ginland, formerly an Oberhoffman in the Colmarian Navy, formerly the Supreme Kommilaire of Belvaille, formerly the Secretary of City of Belvaille, formerly the Governor of Belvaille, currently the eldest inhabitant of Belvaille.”

Wow. I was a lot of formerlies.

There must have been thousands of people inside, dressed like fairy tale princes and princesses.

This hadn’t been the entrance I used the last time I was here. But this place was so massive it probably had a dozen entries.

There was a sunken level where most of the party seemed to be taking place, then floor after floor rising up, overlooking the first. I stared up and there must have been fifteen stories of balconies arrayed above. I almost fell on my back.

I went searching around for food and drink and a place to sit.

My hands, which were still bleeding, stuck to my gloves. I had a remote fear that my body would heal so fast that the gloves would fuse to my fingers and I’d have to hold on to a few more grenades to get them free.

Sacrifices for fashion, I guess.

“Hank?” a man asked, after I had found a comfortable chair that supported my weight.

He had one eye in the center of his face and what looked like gills on his cheeks going right up to the top of his head, which was crowned with a kind of fin. He was unusual looking even for a Colmarian. But now that Belvaille had become such a melting pot, I was seeing a lot more weird species than I had in the past.

“Yes?”

“My name is Clork,” he spurted, and it sounded like a wet sponge being thrown against a wooden wall.

“Hi,” I said.

I was staring at his mouth, which had row after row of razor-sharp teeth. How did a creature like this ever evolve? I wondered if he was a mutant.

“I was just talking about you to someone,” he said.

“Oh?”

“I’m in shipping. Ores and smelting components mostly. But I also ship some livestock.”

“I can’t imagine how you were talking about me, then,” I said.

“Hah! Good one! I know you spoke to the Governor. I was wondering how close you two were,” he said.

“I guess I technically spoke up at the Governor. I assume that was the Governor. Or someone was sitting in his chair.”

“Hah! Good one,” he repeated.

“We’re not close at all. I mean, he was maybe fifty feet away from me. I could barely see his face,” I said.

“That’s a lot closer than most people can get. I was wondering if you could give him something for me. It’s a business proposal. Would help the city a lot.”

This struck me as terribly bad form. Especially when I made it clear I didn’t know the Governor. I tried to channel my inner Cliston.

“A gentleman does not…one gentleman doesn’t ask another gentleman…to ask a third gentleman…something.”

If he had a normal face I could gauge his response, but he had one eye and flippers. He might be drowning for all I knew.

“No,” I clarified. “That wouldn’t be proper.”

“Oh. I’m terribly sorry! I…of course you’re right. I wasn’t thinking. I’ve had too much to drink. I think I might be a bit food poisoned also. Please forgive me,” he held up his hands like I was the politeness police and I was going to shoot him.

Cliston was right. This did work. It was a game. These were simply negotiations with a different class of society.

And just like that, I felt comfortable.

I’ve been negotiating, at gunpoint, for centuries. What could these people possibly do to me? Assault my nose with strong perfume? I had a robot blasting me with an absurdly large machinegun just a short time ago. I could handle some powder puffs in colorful wigs.

A servant approached a bit later. He had a spine as stiff as an iron rod.

“Maris-To would like to speak with you,” he said.

I noticed he didn’t call me sir. Probably in the Master-Servant hierarchy, this guy ranked higher than me. Maybe I should call him sir.

Despite the rumble of a thousand voices talking around us, people apparently overheard and watched us discreetly.

Those who had been studiously ignoring me suddenly smiled like we were old friends.

We went to an elevator and the servant used a key to unlock it.

Inside it was cramped and furnished with a bench. The paneling was some antique wood, saturated with smoke and oil. I was curious where it came from. “Weather beaten” was a rare descriptor on a space station with no weather.

The elevator lurched and I grew nervous.

“I’m a bit heavy,” I explained, but the servant ignored me.

It took several minutes, but the doors finally opened.

Maris-To stood talking to some employees. They wore his heraldry.

I moved to step out of the elevator, but the servant put his hand in front of me. I waited.

The employees walked away and Maris-To turned toward us. The servant removed his arm.

Maris-To was dressed in a fine dark suit as always. His luxurious white hair spilled down around him. He must have some crazy neck muscles.

As I approached, he turned and walked to the railing.

I was alone with a City Councilman for the second time. Supposedly I was a dangerous guy, but if I in any way intimidated Maris-To he didn’t let on.

I had worked out how I was going to apologize to him about screwing up his Master Machinist job. I didn’t want to come off as whiny, so I thought I would mention Mort. Presumably even Maris-To had to respect a .75 caliber machinegun beating me into submission.

“You are very fortunate to be poor. No one expects anything of you,” he said out of nowhere.

“Yeah, I’m pretty lucky,” I answered, trying to mask my sarcasm. Though it didn’t matter. Rich people were immune to sarcasm. Or they simply didn’t hear the words of nobodies like me.

“What do you see down there?” he asked.

I had been standing a bit behind him, but now I walked over to the railing.

We were very high up. I wasn’t used to heights.

There had been a few times I had been on the latticework above Belvaille, where all the lights and atmospheric controls were, but for the overwhelming part of my life, I simply was at ground level. There were no trees to climb or hills to walk up on a space station.

I had a moment of vertigo and blinked it off.

“People? Rich people?” I guessed.

“They are the second generation of new money,” he said dismissively. “Do you know what I mean by that?” he asked.

I’ve come to learn that some people just want to give speeches. Maris-To was not talking to me. He was talking to himself. I could say “purple pancake,” and he would go on blabbing like I wasn’t there.

“No,” I answered dutifully.

“I am the 2043rd generation of my family.”

I thought about that as he rambled. Big deal. Everyone could probably trace back that far. It’s not as if the rest of us suddenly sprouted out of the ground fifty years ago. He’s just patting himself on the back for having good record keeping in terms of his genealogy. I mean, I didn’t know much about my heritage but presumably I’ve got 2043 generations behind me. I wasn’t built by hand.

“My family controlled thirty-three and 1/3rd solar systems during the Colmarian Confederation. How many do you think I personally control now?” he continued.

“I don’t know, sir.”

“Thirty-three and 1/3rd. We did not lose any power, unlike the other great families, because we did not rely on the Colmarian Navy to protect our interests. We learned that to survive and thrive, even an aristocratic family has to deal with…people like you.”

“Thanks?” I hazarded.

“They do not understand that,” he said, pointing below. “They think the galaxy cares about credits and heraldry and proper manners. The new money acquired their positions through power. During and after the civil war they simply took it, because no one stopped them. And they gave it to their children. Who forgot just how ruthless their parents were in the first place.”

“I think some of them still know how to fight, sir,” I said. I knew a lot of these nobles had ties directly to the gangs off Belvaille. Some even had small armies on the station.

“Oh, they play at it. But under the watchful eyes of the Central Authority warships not much happens. I’m talking about entire planets changing hands.”

“The civil war is long over, sir.”

“If you think that, you’re a fool,” he said. “The war is never over while people want things they can’t have. Every person down there wants to be up here. The steps they are willing to take vary. Some will barter and trade and bargain. Others wouldn’t be averse to planting a bomb next to me. Like they did to poor Ray’Ziel.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t stand so close,” I joked.

Maris-To turned and glared at me.

At that moment his chummy demeanor was gone and it was clear he was the lord of thirty-three and 1/3rd solar systems.

I knew I could kill this man. I could put my hand on his face and crush his skull with probably just the ragged, gloved fingers of one hand.

And then what? If I did manage to leave the building without his guards harming me—and I’m guessing they were armed with the best weapons money could buy—how far would I get?

Belvaille wasn’t a city anymore, it was a system. It was an empire. And I was talking to one of the overseers.

He knew it. And I knew it.

“Sorry,” I said quickly.

“Are you interested in another task?” he questioned, his voice and manner once again polite.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a bit. It was basically impossible for me to say no, so why bother even asking? Was it just good breeding?

“Sure,” I answered.

“The instructions will be sent to your butler, as well as payment for your last endeavors,” he said.

I thought about saying that I wasn’t successful in my last endeavors, but if he wasn’t going to ask, I wasn’t going to volunteer.

I don’t know what came over me, but as he was looking at my face, I blurted:

“Would you like to buy a soup shop?”

And suddenly, I was invisible again.

The elevator door opened and Maris-To went back to observing the party downstairs like some scheming demigod.

CHAPTER 23

I wound my way through Maris-To’s party looking for anyone who seemed like they might enjoy soup more than the average person.

A number of guests raised their glasses to me and smiled, but no one came over to talk. If they were new money, I was still an infant.

I didn’t even know what I would talk to them about to try and segue into the awesome financial opportunity of restaurants. Maris-To said he owned thirty-three and 1/3rd solar systems. What does that even mean? Who talks like that? What’s a third of a solar system? Like the bad side of town?

That had to be billions of people, right? Lots of billions. I mean, that’s a huge number of planets. The space station Belvaille was only fifteen miles by fifteen miles and it was enormous to my mind. If you wanted to hide here, no one would find you for months. But on a planet, you could just dig a ditch somewhere and lie in it. Even if you wanted someone to find you they probably wouldn’t.

That was beyond my comprehension.

I had a secretary, a butler, a driver whose name I didn’t know, I think a cook or two, and maybe some people who cleaned and did small repairs. I couldn’t even keep track of those few people.

If I had thirty-three solar systems, I’d lose whole planets. “Where did I put that moon? I know I had it last week.”

No wonder he was a City Councilman, he could just buy all the votes.

I should ask for more money.

I should ask Cliston how much he’s paying me and then ask for more money.

I should find out what he wanted me to do. If he wanted me to get that other 2/3rd’s of a solar system, I was going to ask for a lot more money.

As I was contemplating my life as a galactic conqueror, I spotted the same bald bruisers who had run out of Ray’Ziel’s destroyed building and later beat me up near Tamshius’ restaurant.

They were wearing suits again but they stuck out like fat thumbs in a pinky convention. All three of us did. We were the biggest guys here by far.

They were talking to some non-descript new money and hadn’t noticed me yet.

I subtly moved behind them so they weren’t facing me.

I didn’t have a gun. I didn’t have any grenades. I was pretty sure my soup had worn off and my feet and palms still felt undercooked from juggling a grenade.

On the other hand, those guys owed me a tooth.

I didn’t recognize the man they were speaking to. But I didn’t recognize anyone here.

I shrugged and walked over to them.

“Hi,” I said. “I’m Hank.”

The dark-haired man seemed slightly put off at my interruption, but I was mostly looking at the potential Dredel Led. They either didn’t recognize me or were good actors.

They each shook my hand in turn. They had rock-firm handshakes, which further convinced me these guys were robots.

“So, what’s everyone here work on?” I asked innocently.

“Work?” the dark-haired man said distastefully.

“Excuse us,” one of the robots said. He had a thick accent. There were a lot of accents in Colmarian space, given our 50,000 or so species.

The two men walked away.

“Are you a worker?” the dark-haired man tried to confirm.

“Shut up,” I replied.

I began to follow the Dredel Led but I had no idea what to do other than that. They didn’t seem concerned about me and didn’t look back once. But they could have eyes in their hair or sensors or something.

I didn’t really feel like fighting another robot or two. They hurt. And they just didn’t care. That’s the problem with robots.

I cared. Pain was painful and I avoided it. If a robot lost a gear, it wouldn’t cry about it.

I wasn’t sure what I was doing. No one on Belvaille was interested in these guys except me. They hadn’t done anything wrong except beat me senseless and, according to the Central Authority, that was probably a commendable activity. I also didn’t know a whole lot I could do to them other than trying to swallow their fists again.

But this time we weren’t out on the street. I had plenty of witnesses.

“Hey,” I grabbed a security guard standing discreetly against a wall.

“Yes, sir?” he answered.

“Those guys,” I said, pointing. And I thought a moment. I couldn’t say they were murderers as it would immediately put it out of reach of this simple security guard. I couldn’t say they were Dredel Led because he wouldn’t care. I couldn’t say they were tooth-knocker-outters because it sounded silly. “Those bald guys are thieves.”

That got his attention.

“What makes you believe that?” he asked.

“I saw them. I am Hank of Belvaille. I’m working for—”

“I know who you are,” he said. And it was nice to be recognized for once.

“Do you know if they’re armed?” he asked.

“They are,” I said emphatically.

He touched his lapel and said some codes into his jacket, presumably calling reinforcements.

Now this was using my head.

“Do you mind lending us a hand?” he asked hopefully.

“Not at all,” I said.

We trailed the two men, with me stopping now and then to admire a painting or pretend I was talking to people.

Two more guards joined us and I was feeling better about our odds.

“They’re going into the kitchens. We’ll confront them there to prevent a scene. What did you see them steal exactly?” one of the guards asked.

“It was a…thing. I don’t know the word for it. Very valuable, though. I was going to buy one but it was too expensive.”

The guard nodded.

The vast kitchen was empty. A guard appeared in front of the two Dredel Led and blocked their path as we came in behind.

“I’m afraid, gentlemen, we’re going to have to ask you to empty out your pockets,” a guard next to me said.

I tensed up, ready.

The Dredel Led made no indication of being concerned and began emptying their pockets.

Hmm. I hadn’t thought of that.

“There,” I said, pointing.

One of the guards held up what was obviously a flier of some sort. Just a piece of paper.

“I mean that,” I said, correcting myself.

He picked up a set of keys.

“No, it was more…” and I was waiting for something good to come out. A wallet! “That!”

A guard picked it up, but there were only a few credits inside. He looked at me.

“It happened fast. They were picking pockets,” I said.

The guards all seemed skeptical.

“Look, you all know who I am,” I argued. And it was clear only the one guard knew me.

“That guy dating Malla,” he explained to his co-workers.

“No! I work for the City Council. Ask them. Ask them about the Trade District. And…Malla. And Maris-To. And…ask them about Tech District. And ask them about soup. And what about Ray’Ziel? And Garm!” I was basically just saying anything and everything trying to provoke some response, but the Dredel Led didn’t seem the slightest bit troubled.

The guards were losing patience.

“What about the votes. And new money! And the Governor. The Central Authority! My carpet.”

I was really running out of things to say.

But then one of the Dredel Led said something in a foreign language to the other. Just a single word.

One of the big men pulled back his arm and hit the guard closest to him in the chest. The guard slammed into a metal closet with a skull-fracturing thud.

The guards began to react, but not fast enough.

The same Dredel Led grabbed a guard by his forearms and twisted, snapping the man’s bones. The guard screamed and fell to the ground in pain.

The last guard managed to almost get his gun out before the other bald man kicked up one leg delicately in the air, crossed it over his other leg, and caught the guard square on the head. The man hit the ground like a sack of wet rocks.

I stood there gaping like a fool.

If I had blinked I would have missed it all. One Dredel Led began to put all the items they had emptied back in his pockets as if nothing had happened. The other bald man faced off against me.

I put up my fists in the least impressive display ever.

The man ducked down and I had a millisecond to wonder what he was doing before I felt him grab both of my ankles. He swung me so fast that I didn’t fall over or even bend. I was whirled like a club violently against a refrigerator, becoming wedged into the metal a few inches.

I wiggled a bit and managed to pop myself out.

The two men saw me stand up and they seemed only mildly curious that I wasn’t quite as dead as I should be.

I rushed forward with my arms raised but the nearest man caught me with contemptuous ease. He took my right arm in both of his hands, lifted it, and did a high knee kick, bringing my arm crashing down.

When my arm didn’t break, he looked at my face in confusion.

He did it again.

I wasn’t going to wait for him to develop a better technique. With my left hand, I grabbed his throat. I could feel it giving, but it was still solid.

So I shook him, hoping to rattle his brain or computer or ball bearings or whatever was going on.

“Move,” I heard the other man say.

Wham!

He flattened me against the wall with a ten-foot metal table. He then began bending the table around me like it was tin foil.

It just wasn’t possible.

I was in a metal cocoon but it didn’t fit that snuggly. I managed to hop a few feet as I tried to twist free.

The men stood staring at me now.

Just give me two hours and I’ll be out of this and ready to fight.

“Shoot him,” one man said.

And that gave me pause. I couldn’t imagine the last resort of guys who could snap arms was going to be a squirt gun.

The one who attacked me with the table reached in his back jacket pocket for a small device. It didn’t look like any gun that I knew. It looked like a decorative brooch.

But he pressed it, and what I thought was a gemstone glowed with a powerful blue light. It hurt my eyes to stare at it, but I couldn’t look away. There was also a deep vibration that rattled me half to pieces. I could literally feel my organs shifting inside me.

That was a plasma weapon!

I had been the proud owner and user of several in my lifetime. I had seen them cut through dozens of feet of reinforced steel. They were alien artifacts that had been created by an advanced race called the Ontakians.

I might be able to resist metal tables, but there was no way I was plasma-proof.

I tried to fall to my side and get away from the blast, but I was too late.

I was engulfed by blue light, I felt intense heat, and could smell burning.

And then everything was quiet.

“Brother. Brother!”

I opened my eyes and one of the bald men was in front of me, leaning down.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Dazed, I tried to punch him, but my weak fist just bounced off his head.

“Come on!” the other man said.

The guy who had just plasma’d me, stood up and rejoined his companion. He glanced back doubtfully but then they hurried off.

I was alive!

I hadn’t the slightest idea how.

The table that had been entwined around me was disintegrated. My clothes were likewise gone. The very wall behind me had an enormous hole.

There was no way I should have survived that.

The guards were coming around and I felt somewhat vindicated when they saw the destruction.

“Can I borrow your tele?” I asked one. “I think mine got vaporized.”

CHAPTER 24

I stumbled out of my limo and up to my building.

Cliston threw open the door before I reached it.

“What happened to you? Where are your clothes? Why are you all smudged?” he asked.

“I don’t feel like talking. Look out, I’m going to sleep.”

“The Governor is upstairs in your office,” he said.

“The what?”

“The Governor! Vorrin-Gortail. He’s there now waiting for you, sir.”

“What’s he want with me? Does he have any soldiers with him?” I asked, feeling even more naked than I already was.

“I didn’t ask him.”

“So the Governor is just sitting up in my office?” I asked, stunned.

“See-tah is with him,” Cliston said.

“Why did you leave him with my secretary? She’s terrible!”

“I know,” Cliston agreed. “But who was I going to leave him with, your linen master?”

“What’s a linen master?”

“Who do you think changes your linen?”

“How should I know? Forget it! Get me cleaned up and dressed,” I said.

We hurried to the bathroom where Cliston wiped me down.

“Ow. Ow!” I complained.

“Your skin is burned. Your hair is uneven. You have marks all over.” Cliston took a step back and appraised me. “I’m going to put you in a robe, scarf, cap, and slippers. We’ll go for breakfast casual even if it is a bit unorthodox, it should hide most of your injuries.”

I was almost choked being dressed so quickly.

“Hurry,” he said. “Who knows what See-tah is doing.”

We ran up the stairs and then paused, straightening ourselves up outside the door. Cliston and I walked in, casual as could be, despite getting bludgeoned at Maris-To’s ball and shot with a plasma weapon all of forty-five minutes ago.

The Governor, Vorrin-Gortail, stood up from his chair. This was the first time I had seen him this close. He was indeed terribly old, but his skin was firm, and he had meat on him. He hadn’t wasted away or grown fat. He was just liver-spotted in the extreme and without any hair at all. Not even eyebrows.

Three fingers on each hand looked like they were permanently curled, but he had good posture. He wore excellent clothes of a somber shade and outdated, traditional style.

I had seen his heraldry here and there on official seals, but could never really tell what it was supposed to represent. Seeing it up close, I still couldn’t tell.

Some people had heraldry that kept expanding as their influence grew. Like over time they would add some squiggles or patterns because they married into other families or took new territories. His heraldry had maybe ten different sections all crammed with little images. Maybe if it was fifty feet tall I could tell what was going on, but at this size it was just a blob of indistinct metal to my eyes.

“Terribly sorry to keep you waiting,” I said. “Where’s my secretary?”

“She left. She said something about a party. Told me where the restroom was,” the Governor said. He spoke in a clear, strong voice.

If Maris-To was intimidating, this guy was that plus ten. He commanded all the armed forces. The real armed forces. MTB and all the cruisers and frigates.

“A drink, sir?” Cliston had already made it and served it. He was fast. It was a tiny little drink so as to be easily grasped by the Governor’s crooked hands.

The Governor took the drink.

“Sit, please,” I motioned.

Cliston handed me a goblet. It must have had about a gallon of alcohol in it. He knew I needed numbing and healing from whatever ordeal I had just gone through.

“Excellent,” the Governor said, after sipping his drink. “I’d ask what it’s called, but I’m sure only Cliston has the skills to make it.”

I took about five swallows of my drink, with Cliston dabbing at the corners of my mouth where I had spilled it. My healing mutation was already starting to stiffen me up. I was fighting to stay awake.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, sir?”

“You know that you and I are quite alike.” he said.

I smiled and took several more gulps. I couldn’t think of anyone I was less like except maybe my secretary.

“Did you know that I am also a mutant?” he continued.

“I did not. Sir.”

“And I wasn’t born into wealth either. Every bit I made was through my own doing,” he said.

“Admirable,” I slurred.

“And you were Governor just as I am.” He smiled. His teeth were yellow and decayed.

“With all due respect, sir, when I was Governor, Belvaille was a chaotic slum. Just a small space station. Now it’s…well, parts of the System are still chaotic slums, but parts are also the most advanced and wealthy in the galaxy.”

“But you still know the difficulties of ruling a population,” he said.

I merely grinned because I wasn’t going to argue with the Governor. But I didn’t pretend I knew what it was like to run the current Belvaille System. I barely understood it.

“You know the deep difficulties that capricious regency can engender,” he continued.

I didn’t know what that sentence meant, but I nodded.

“Sure,” I said helpfully, pouring more booze down my throat as I talked philosophy with the Governor.

“How are you coming on your investigation?” he asked.

“What investigation?”

He paused a moment, looking at me.

“Oh, you mean for the City Council?” I said. “Fine. Fine.”

“Really? Who do you think was the culprit behind Ray’Ziel’s death?”

“Your Central Authority thinks I did it,” I said, laughing.

“I know,” Vorrin-Gortail answered, not laughing.

“I didn’t!” I said, worried.

“Why not?”

It struck me as an incredibly wild thing to ask. Cliston swooped in and replaced the Governor’s drink and then vanished just as quickly.

“I’m not an assassin,” I said.

“You’ve never killed anyone?”

“I have.”

“And you were paid to kill them?”

“I…in some cases. Yeah,” I said.

“So how is that not assassination?” he asked politely.

“That was the olden days. Things were different. The Colmarian Confederation existed. Belvaille was in a different part of the galaxy. The civil war hadn’t started. The rules were different. I didn’t assassinate people,” I said firmly. “I don’t.”

“But you know people who do?”

“Well, sure. I know a lot of people.”

“Hank, there are those—maybe even those on the City Council—who don’t want to know the murderer. Who just want to sweep this aside and move on. Especially if the killer is an influential person. Because influential people don’t tend to go quietly, and the amount of disruption they can cause is substantial.”

“I’m looking,” I stated.

“I’m glad to hear that. Us old mutants need to stick together. There aren’t many of us left.”

He stood up. So I stood up.

“Do not let anyone distract you from your task,” he said. “If they do, come talk to me. I will sort it out.”

“I will, sir.”

“You realize it is difficult to hold an election for the new City Councilman, when the murderer might be running for office,” he said in almost a whisper.

This practically floored me.

“Do you think Ray’Ziel may have been forcibly resigned from office?” I asked.

“Perhaps. That is for you to tell me. But I’ve taken enough of your time.”

We walked to the front door and I remembered that Vorrin-Gortail was elected from the Trade District.

“Sir, do you like soup? Ow!” I said.

“Let me take your glass, sir,” Cliston said to me. As he did so, he clamped one of my bruises with his crazy Dredel Led claws and twisted.

“Soup?” the Governor asked.

“I mean…what mutant level were you? Are you?” I amended. Cliston was right. It was stupid to ask him about Tamshius’ soup kitchen. Especially when he had come here to threaten me.

Vorrin-Gortail sighed deeply.

“I was tested right before they ceased doing that. I was classified a level eight,” he said.

I blinked. I was bulletproof. I could regrow my teeth, bones, cure cancer. I’d survived being shot with a plasma weapon, kicked by a thirty-five-foot Therezian, and dragged from a speeding train.

I was a level-four mutant.

The scale only went up to ten. The only level-ten mutant I ever met had given me a new body using just the power of his mind.

My first thought was that Vorrin-Gortail was lying.

Most Colmarians, if they had been mutants, had been level one or two. Garm, whose mutation was she never slept, was a level-two mutant. Each level was like exponentially more powerful than the previous.

I didn’t know what a level-eight mutant might be able to do.

Maybe make himself Governor.

CHAPTER 25

“No, you didn’t,” Delovoa said.

“How do you know?” I asked, annoyed.

“I know.”

“You weren’t there!”

“And you’re standing here talking to me, so I know it wasn’t an Ontakian plasma weapon,” Delovoa said.

“Do all plasma weapons have to check with you before they’re fired? Sign a form?”

“It was probably a gun with a bright light.”

“Don’t you think I know what a gun is? I’ve been getting shot by weapons for 500 years!” I said.

“You’re not 500 years old, so your mother must have taken quite a beating.”

“I’ve fired plasma guns. A lot. I know what they look like. I know what they sound like.”

“So do I,” Delovoa said calmly.

“Not as much as I do.”

“How do you know I wasn’t building plasma weapons for the Ontakians?” he challenged.

“That’s stupid.”

“So is you saying you got shot in the eyeball, at point-blank range, with a plasma pistol.”

“I didn’t say it was a pistol,” I corrected.

“Oh, well that’s fine, then,” he sneered. “A plasma weapon would shoot through walls without even trying.”

“It did!”

“And yet you’re still here. You got a thick skull, but you’re not fifteen feet of steel.”

“It shot through about seven feet. Look,” I said, and began struggling to take off my jacket and vest to show my burns, but my clothes were confounding me. Cliston made it look so easy.

“I don’t have time for you to learn to undress yourself,” he said. “Do you know what the Ontakians were?”

“I met two of them on the Boranjame world-ship a century or so ago,” I yelled. “That’s two more than you.”

He went on, ignoring me.

“The Ontakians owned one planet when the Colmarian Confederation went to war with them. We owned like 3/4th’s of the galaxy. But because of their science, they beat us for years. Decades. And you’re saying you stood up to a technology that the entire Colmarian Navy was powerless against.”

“I didn’t ‘stand up.’ I fell down afterward.”

The blood in Delovoa’s glass dome began sputtering. I may have caused him an aneurism.

“I made you a new Gravitonic gun,” he said, calmly switching gears.

I put my jacket back on and Delovoa brought out the weapon from a side room. It looked similar to the first one but with less doodads.

“You did? I thought you said the parts were restricted?”

“I just threw your name around and all the doors opened,” he smiled.

“That gun causes cancer though, right?”

“Nah. Like one chance in ten.” He waved it away. “Look. You didn’t like all the dials, so I just got three buttons on it now: little fist, medium fist, big fist. Those are the power levels.”

“The big fist is high power?”

“No, big fist sings a song. What do you think?” he asked.

“It’s your gun. You make everything weird. That reusable grenade didn’t do anything you said. It almost blew off my hands!”

“Yeah,” he answered, as if he knew that and was bored of discussing it. “I also put the gun in a stronger casing so it’s less likely to explode.”

I took the gun. It did look nice.

Just to be sure, I held it to Delovoa’s face, sideways. But he didn’t scream or dive for cover. I knew if it was truly dangerous he wouldn’t let it be around him.

“So can I shoot it in here? Just to check it?” I asked, still wary of his designs.

“Use low power. And don’t break my furniture.”

I aimed down the hall. The Po servant just then waddled out from another room into the hallway. Quick as a laser, it scampered forward, sideways, then up the wall, across the ceiling, and landed behind me!

“Whoa,” I said.

I turned around to see it fidgeting there.

“I wasn’t going to shoot you, little guy,” I said.

“Power it on first,” Delovoa said.

I clicked the power and it rumbled to life. It had a throbbing, intimidating sound. Almost like the plasma weapon. It alternated glowing green, blue, and yellow.

“That’s cool!” I said, despite myself.

I fired. Woont!

I didn’t hit anything of course, so there wasn’t much reaction. But since Delovoa let me test it near him I figured it was at least safe.

After I fired, though, the lights and sound on the gun went off.

“Does it only have one shot?”

“About three fists. One big, or one medium and a small. Or three small. But there is still a reset time between. And after you fire those, it’s about three minutes for it to get back to full power.”

“Three minutes? That’s pretty slow,” I said. “What am I going to do, ask people to wait?”

The gun suddenly lit up again and the roar of the weapon returned.

“And that’s another thing. When they see my gun go dark, they’ll know I’m out. You’re basically advertising that I have no ammo left.”

“It doesn’t use ammunition,” Delovoa corrected.

“Or charge. Or whatever you want to call it. Make me something better—in repayment for your grenade that almost killed me.”

“You already bought the gun,” he said.

“When?”

“Cliston did.”

There wasn’t much else to say. I already owned it.

“Well…think of a better weapon,” I sulked.

I turned off the gun so we could talk without raising our voices.

“Do you want to know my estimation of your formula?”

“I didn’t give you any saliva. Or poop.”

“Cliston did. He’s a really good butler, by the way.”

Was Cliston tiptoeing around my bedroom swabbing down my cheeks and mailing them off to strange scientists? I suppose he could have taken my hair, or toenail clippings, or just about anything. I didn’t especially keep track of samples once they left my body.

“What did you find out?” I asked.

“You fought a robot in space—which sounded quite painful. The Central Authority worked you over. And you claim those Dredel Led or mutants or whatever battered you.”

“I don’t need a scorecard to know I’m losing. What about the soup?”

“But that’s the thing, after all those confrontations, you’re standing here bright and shiny. You are naturally resilient. And you heal. But it’s not instantaneous.”

“So you’re saying I’m healing faster?”

“I know you are. I can see it. But all kinds of things are happening. It’s very complex. I’ll need to check where this compound comes from.”

“It’s just a restaurant. A crappy one.”

“That’s not possible. There’s no way the chemical you gave me came from a dusty soup shop. The precursor components would have to be constructed in the strictest laboratory conditions.”

“Well, I didn’t make the soup in lab conditions. I don’t even think I washed my hands. What about me getting faster and stronger and going crazy and having great sex?”

“Forget that stuff. It’s not important.”

“Shows what you know. If I’ve got an aphrodisiac I’ll make a fortune,” I said.

“If you’ve got something that makes people rapidly heal just by drinking it, you’ll be the next Governor,” Delovoa countered.

“I don’t want that.”

“Then you’ll be the richest man in all of Belvaille System.”

“That, I wouldn’t mind.”

CHAPTER 26

I needed to do some relaxing. And the only place that seemed to be free of Governors and City Councilmen pouncing on me was the good old Belvaille Gentle Club.

Cliston would probably thump me good if he knew I was going, but I had my driver drop me off a bit away.

As I was walking the few blocks to the Club, I felt a familiar thud on the ground. I hurried over and pressed myself against the nearest building as quick as I could.

Everyone that knew Belvaille did likewise.

A short while later, Wallow appeared at the intersection. Cars stopped, swerved, backed up. The people who didn’t know Wallow screamed and ran in terror.

I kept still and my head down.

Wallow was a Therezian, maybe the last of his species.

He stood somewhere around fifty feet tall, it was hard to tell. He looked like a really big version of me except even uglier, more muscular, and with a decidedly limited wardrobe.

I kind of liked seeing Wallow because he was a reminder that no matter how powerful some noble got, he was still an ant that could be stepped on.

Wallow answered to no one. Took orders from no one. Did exactly what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it.

There had been a hundred ideas batted around to try and get rid of Wallow. But this was a creature who had not only survived the civil war, he had been one of the main perpetrators. He had probably slaughtered whole planets of people as every kind of tactical and strategic weapon failed to do more than annoy him.

Therezians were impervious to nearly every form of armament known. We couldn’t harm Wallow without causing considerable damage to Belvaille.

Fortunately for all the citizens of the space station, Wallow was pretty much content to stand around doing a perfect impression of a building. Every once in a while he would go for a walk, but despite his tremendous size, he was agile and had only stepped on people a few times, and that was when they basically ran under his feet—and why I stood as motionless as possible.

At this point he was just kind of a force of nature. You don’t get mad at a meteor shower. You just deal with its aftermath.

There was a time when Wallow and I hadn’t gotten along, but I think he forgot about me. That was fortunate, because I had never suffered greater injuries in my life than when Wallow had nonchalantly dropped his fist on me. In the entire galaxy I was probably the only person who could brag that he survived a direct “assault” from a Therezian. And that honestly looked good on my résumé.

Just then, a car tried to drive between Wallow’s legs and instead ran into his foot.

Oh, crap.

Wallow slowly looked down. That giant, bone-studded brow crinkled in annoyance.

He reached down and grabbed the car with one hand. Therezians only had three fingers with no digits on them, which prevented them from ever being a technological species—not that they needed technology for anything.

Wallow picked up the car and I could see two people inside screaming as the metal hull began to constrict. Great.

Don’t get involved.

Don’t get involved.

The guy’s got a car in his fist!

I ran into the street and hopped up and down.

“Wallow! Wallow!” I yelled up at him foolishly.

He slowly took his attention off the car and gazed at me. I could see he didn’t recognize me. I thought that was bad. I was a random idiot flagging down a Therezian.

“It was an accident. They didn’t mean to hit you!” I had to scream since his head was so far away.

Wallow opened his hand casually and the car tumbled to the street. He handled it like it was a dirty sock, but it smashed onto the ground scattering parts across the entire road.

He squinted and lowered his head, still looking at me.

“Hank?” he blared, and his voice was enough to send everyone running for cover. Wallow almost never spoke.

“Hi!” I said as good-naturedly as I could muster. I had my Gravitonic gun with me, but if I set it on high power and crawled up one of his nostrils and discharged it, he wouldn’t even notice.

His enormous hand stretched out a finger and poked at me. It was all I could do to stop myself from turning tail. But if Wallow wanted to catch me, he would catch me.

The nail on his finger was bigger than my chest. He “tapped” me and I fell over.

“You not so fat,” he said.

I guess I hadn’t seen him since my body had been changed. I didn’t go out of my way to speak to creatures that could squash me. I got to my feet, not wanting to remain seated in front of him.

“The ladies disagree,” I said, chuckling and patting my gut.

Wallow of course didn’t understand sarcasm. Or jokes. I don’t know what he understood. He wasn’t dumb, per se—I mean, he had a giant brain. I guess they just didn’t make a lot of books his size.

“How are you doing?” I asked him casually. You know, just chatting up a Therezian in the middle of the road after he had discarded an automobile.

His expression didn’t change and he reached out his finger again and nudged me, this time a little bit harder. I was propelled maybe five feet and my pants tore as I rolled. I wasn’t sure if it was better to stay down this time. But I stubbornly stood up again.

He snorted. It sounded like a blast of gale winds and my hair blew back.

But then Wallow lost interest, straightened, and continued his walk down the street.

When it was clear I wasn’t going to die, I felt pretty badass. That was another encounter with a Therezian I survived. I mean, yeah, it wasn’t a fight or anything. And he didn’t really try and hurt me. But still.

I went over to help the people in the car.

I removed the windows and they crawled out, with me tugging on their arms.

“What were you trying to do?” I asked the driver. “Didn’t you see Wallow standing there?”

He was breathing heavy from the ordeal but managed to explain.

“The light had changed.”

CHAPTER 27

After my traumatic experience with Wallow, I finished walking to the Gentle Club. I wasn’t concerned my pants were in disrepair. It’s not like it was the first time I flashed my cheeks to Belvaille.

Come to think of it, I went through an awful lot of clothes. Maybe Cliston could try and find a tailor that made high class stuff that was also good for fighting. It seemed pretty contradictory though.

Inside it was as usual. Guys were brawling and drinking and some were playing dice or cards.

I sat down and the waiter plopped some crap in front of me.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Sausage and bread,” the waiter answered.

“Where are the sandwiches?”

“We don’t have them no more,” he said, as if it were inconsequential.

The waiter was a young guy, clearly new to the station and its practices. I grabbed him by the shirt and shoved my Gravitonic gun in his face.

“I don’t want sausages. I come to the Gentle Club for sandwiches. I’ve come here for six hundred and fifty years for sandwiches. Are you serving wine now as well? Or maybe fruit juice?”

The waiter stuttered and muttered but nothing intelligible came out.

Lagla-nagla, the lopsided guy I had met here before, tapped the waiter on the shoulder and sat down across from me. He even sat wrong.

“It’s not his fault. Dample makes the food,” he said.

“No way Dample would change the menu,” I argued, though I let go of the waiter, who quickly left. “It was probably Pample. That stupid kid.”

“He’s like seventy-five years old or something.”

“Kid to me,” I sulked.

I came to the Gentle Club for the old ways. I wasn’t interested in sausages.

“If I wanted real food I would go to a real restaurant,” I said to no one in particular.

Lagla-nagla shrugged. He was drinking a beer and when he wiped his mouth he managed to smear it all over his face.

I just couldn’t see how Lagla-nagla worked for any aristocrats. Maybe he was sent to keep track of me.

“You really work for Maris-To?” I asked him.

“Yup,” he said, not proud, not ashamed.

“You heard anything of me around there?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Like heard my name mentioned in connection with stuff.”

“All I do is keep two of the closets stocked, but no one takes anything from them, so I don’t even do that much,” he said.

I poked at my sausage plate distrustfully.

“So how do you like it there? Is he a good boss?”

“Maris-To? How should I know? He could have been dead a thousand years and they wouldn’t tell me.”

I took a bite of the sausage, ready with every ounce of my being to despise it.

“Where did you work before him?” I asked, hunching down reflexively as I waited for the specter of Cliston to bonk me for talking with my mouth full.

“Ray’Ziel. Right before he died.”

I almost choked.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I polished the buttons on his shoes—half his shoes, it was too many for one guy. But they canned me when he croaked.”

“You,” and I looked around warily, “got any idea who killed him?”

“Not sure who,” he said.

I finished chewing and swallowed. I hated to admit it, the sausage wasn’t bad.

“But I’m pretty sure Ray’Ziel was killed because he opposed the mass immigration of all those ships waiting to enter the Belvaille System,” Lagla-nagla finished.

Lagla-nagla didn’t have many details. He wasn’t a details kind of guy. But he had been a lackey in several of the City Councilmen’s homes at one point or another for years. You simply overheard things when you lived, ate, and slept in one place—even if you weren’t an important member of the staff.

There were thousands of ships queued up waiting to enter Belvaille and be part of our grand society. But it not only required the head of some Sector to approve them as citizens, it took the whole City Council and the Governor to agree. They usually accepted them in small batches, with the precious balance between the Districts preserved.

Ray’Ziel, as head of the Education District and Sector, didn’t want anyone new to join.

He had been steadily losing influence every time a new group of citizens had been allowed in. There were always merchants for the Trade Sector. Always Manufacturers. Always hungry mouths that needed a Food Sector. And Housing was any bucket that had a bed and sustained life.

But Education could only accept schools and teachers and the engineers and scientists who came and couldn’t get a job in Manufacturing. And while there were probably tens of thousands of such people, the numbers were insignificant compared to the other Sectors.

Ray’Ziel wasn’t just worried about perpetually losing power. He was worried, so he said, about not having the ability to instruct the current population. Children had to be taught and there wasn’t the infrastructure to do so.

The other Sectors, and their corresponding City Councilmen, didn’t care.

They wanted to open the Belvaille System as fast as possible, as wide as possible. Overnight the population in the System could just about double if the waiting ships were allowed to join.

And with all those new people, and ships, and connected planets, the nobles would become vastly wealthier than they already were. Maris-To, who controlled food, would suddenly have twice as many hungry mouths. They would need places to sleep. They would need goods manufactured. They would buy things.

Everyone would benefit.

Except Education. Except slain Ray’Ziel and his District and Sector. He would have been under a massive burden to try and train double the population. And his influence, relative to the other Councilmen, would also dwindle, as they gained more and more resources.

He had opposed every single attempt to open immigration.

And then he was murdered.

But he wasn’t the only one who opposed open immigration.

The Governor also did. And Vorrin-Gortail seemed particularly interested in finding out who Ray’Ziel’s killer was.

CHAPTER 28

“A chair arrived for you, sir,” Cliston said when I came home.

“Chairman?” I asked, expecting even more high-ranking officials to come intimidate me. “Oh, chair. From Maris-To?”

“It doesn’t say.”

“Well, I don’t think many people are giving me chairs, so it’s probably his. Put it up in my office. It’s really comfortable. Tell See-tah not to sit in it.”

“I have let See-tah go,” Cliston said.

“When? Why?”

Cliston was removing my jacket when he saw my pants.

“What did you do to your trousers? Honestly, sir. You can’t go walking around like this!”

“Wallow did it. Go lodge a complaint with him.”

“Oh. In any case, See-tah demonstrated her unsuitability by leaving the Governor alone in your office. It reflected very poorly on you,” he said.

“Yeah, I guess that was bad. But now her parents are going to be all mad at me.”

“Her parents aren’t on the City Council or anywhere near it. You are in a different category of clients. You need a different category of servants.”

I paused.

“Are you going to quit?” I asked.

“No, sir. I’m saying you need higher quality domestics than you normally had.”

“Hey, what’s my driver’s name?”

“Which driver?”

“How many drivers do I have? I’ve only got one car, right?”

“You have three drivers. They work different shifts. They do have to eat and sleep at some point, sir.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“I also think it is time we talk about changing your sign,” he said.

“My what?” For a moment I thought he meant astrological.

“The name on the sign out front. Hank Services Limited. With the lights and fist and such.”

“I already paid for the sign. And it’s up.”

“But the fist strikes me as…crass.”

“I am crass. I do people’s crass work for them. I’m a crasshole. That’s what they hire me for,” I said, exasperated.

“Yes, but, they pay you to not see it. On your front door you are being blatant.”

“It’s not heraldry. I can’t afford that. It’s just a sign.”

“We’ll talk about it another time, perhaps. You also had this letter arrive.” Cliston held it out to me, but I backed up.

“Who’s it from?”

“It doesn’t say.”

I guessed this was another job from Maris-To. But the way I saw it, Maris-To wasn’t the Governor. And the job from the City Council was the most important. Besides, if the Governor got mad at me, all these other jobs didn’t matter very much.

It wasn’t good for me if the contract ended, but I had to have some proof I was actually doing something in case I was interrogated again.

I had to find Ray’Ziel’s killer.

CHAPTER 29

Malla had said she didn’t think they were going to replace her husband, but I didn’t believe that.

We had no shortage of elections and they ran rather smoothly, all things considered. We had two Councilmen who died in the past, one of old age and one choked on food, and there was never a question of filling their seats.

But the Governor said he was concerned about holding the election until they actually knew who ordered the murder. It’s not as if some random person killed Ray’Ziel.

One potential killer would be whoever was most likely to win the election for the vacancy. I just had no idea who that was.

I think maybe those bald Dredel Led guys might have had something to do with it, but I didn’t know how to find them and I had limited teeth left to spend. I couldn’t just go around asking if anyone had seen some big bald guys that could jump over walls.

I mean, I could, just nothing would come of it.

In the old days I would have talked to gang bosses on Belvaille or in the Gentle Club. But the gang bosses weren’t on Belvaille anymore. They were floating around in the Sectors, where they had more influence. They often worked for nobles, taking care of his or her day-to-day operations.

There were some thugs of course in the Districts on Belvaille, but people were pretty tight-lipped on the station. If you earned your place on Belvaille, you weren’t likely to cheat your employer.

Besides, at the moment I was less capable of getting things done on Belvaille than I was off-station. With MTB and his Central Authority tracking me, I’d be lucky if I could give someone a dirty look before I got thrown in jail.

My other idea was to try and find who made the bomb. It was a large explosive, clearly professional. Delovoa could have made it. But I teled him and he said he didn’t do it. He hadn’t done much weapons design for anyone except me since falling out of favor.

His weapons had also never been especially good for the general weapon-buying public. Because of my mutation, however, it didn’t amazingly matter to me that his goods were unsafe.

And Delovoa was notoriously notorious. Anyone who wanted to keep a secret wouldn’t go to him to get a bomb made.

“What, are you the only taxi?” I asked, annoyed.

“Like I knew it was you,” Zzzho replied. He was the irritable Keilvin Kamigan with the junky cab.

“You almost killed me,” I said. I looked over what I could see of his taxi, which wasn’t a lot, most of it being outside the lock.

“No, I didn’t. It took thirty seconds to fix. It wasn’t a big deal. We have safety regulations up the ass.”

“You don’t even have an ass,” I countered.

“Do you want to go or not?”

I reluctantly got in. Not many taxis made runs to Belvaille and Education Sector.

“Where to?” he asked.

That was a great question. I had planned on starting at some of the bigger schools. But strong-arming teachers might take some time and not provide much in the way of results.

“Education,” I said.

As the ship wheeled around and I tried to hold on to my lunch, I decided to pump Zzzho. He probably knew more about the Sectors than I ever would.

“Hey, if I want to ask some questions in Tech, where is a good place to go?”

“I take it by ‘questions’ you don’t mean like how to make an electrical fuse.”

“I’m more interested in who’s who around there. The big names. The players.”

“I’d be a good person to start with,” he said.

“Really?” I said, incredulous.

“I clock about triple the fares of any other cabbie in the System.”

I must have looked skeptical.

“I eat radiation. I don’t sleep. I don’t weigh anything so I use less fuel. And I don’t have an ass—like you pointed out.”

“Fair enough.”

“Wait, are you going to stiff me like you did last time? Information costs money,” he said.

The seat harness made it difficult to get my wallet and when I retrieved it, I had no idea how much to give. What was the going rate?

What did I pay him for my last cab ride? 350?

I gave him 300 credits for the info.

“So who are the big faces in the Sector, or District, now that Ray’Ziel is gone?” I asked.

“I have no idea about the District. I don’t travel around Belvaille. But out here, no one wants Tech Sector. It’s a money pit. I think Ray’Ziel was spending all his cash keeping it afloat. You have the least amount of influence on the City Council and everyone is mad at you all the time. I frankly wonder if some of the professional groups are going to split off and join the other Sectors. Like Make and Trade and Housing.”

“They can’t do that. The other Sectors would have to agree,” I said.

“They came up with these Sectors arbitrarily. Education obviously didn’t work. It still doesn’t work.”

“If people are mad at our education sucking now, without a real Sector, it’s not going to get any better,” I argued.

“Don’t yell at me, I’m just repeating what I’ve heard. If you were a high class scientist wouldn’t you rather be making a lot of money in Manufacturing instead of hoping some rich kid takes your university class?”

“I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to be a scientist. But what about the next generations? We can’t keep hoping more engineers come pouring in from the outer galaxy. We have to train people at some point or all of this is going to fall apart.” I indicated the System around us. “Were you here when Delovoa was the only one who knew how to maintain anything?”

“No, but I heard about it. Wasn’t part of the city dark?”

“Giant lights were falling off the latticework and smashing buildings!” I said.

“Shows you how hard that stuff is to maintain, I guess.”

“So you think this is done? They’re going to forget Education Sector?”

“I drive a cab, man. I’m just saying that every fare I pick up in Tech hates the fact they are in Tech. With the Councilman gone, I think a lot of them aren’t getting paid. And it’s not exactly easy to switch Sectors,” he said.

“It took murdering a City Councilman,” I muttered.

“What?”

“Nothing. Forget it. Take me back to Belvaille,” I said.

“I still have to charge you for the ride,” he warned.

“That’s fine. I never did well in school, anyway. Not sure what I’d do out here in Education.”

CHAPTER 30

Everyone wanted to leave Education Sector.

Therefore, I had successfully narrowed the list of suspects in Ray’Ziel’s murder to: his wife, the other Councilmen, all the groups and industries that benefited from increased immigration, and all the citizens in Education.

I felt that if I only had a few million years to investigate, I’d crack this case wide open.

But it was most assuredly a professional hit. While it might seem easy to plant a bomb, it wasn’t easy to know someone was going to be at a designated location, get access to that location, set the bomb, survive, and not be so obvious that the City Council had to hire me to try and find you.

Going around ringing doorbells wasn’t going to work, so I thought I’d try another angle.

Who better to ask about assassinations than assassins?

The office of the Quadrad was white.

It was like their thing.

The building exterior was white.

The interior was white. The pillars, walls, floor, ceiling, all white.

The lighting was perfectly spaced and uniform. And they didn’t use tiles at all. There were no tiny black lines or dimples or anything to show building materials. You just walked into this nebula of white.

I took about four steps and put my foot where I thought ground should be, lurched, stumbled and fell on my side. My depth perception was non-existent here.

What a foolish building. What did they hope to accomplish by making their potential clients run into walls and smash their noses on the floor?

I was about to turn around and crawl to the door, but I couldn’t see the door. I had no orientation. I could be looking up for all I could tell.

“While I appreciate the help, we have people who polish the floors,” Garm teased.

Not sure where she came from but there she was. She wore a black tactical combat uniform. I won’t lie, she looked great. Especially after pulling me out of vertigo, seeing those legs and bare midriff just did it for me. She was tan, unlike the rest of her Quadrad pals who were as pale as this room.

“Why are all the Quadrad white except you?” I said, after I got to my feet.

“White’s just a color,” she answered, as if that settled everything. “You were seen talking with Wallow.”

“Talking? Who told you that nonsense?”

“What did you talk to him about?”

“Nothing. He said I wasn’t fat.”

“That’s all we need, a blind Therezian crashing around.”

“Haha. I want to ask you about Ray’Ziel.”

“You still pretending to handle that case?”

“Yes,” I said. “I mean, not pretending.”

Garm walked closer, her eyes fixed on mine. Somehow she didn’t tilt or spin or stagger in this crazy white building.

“Hank, I think at this point if I talk to you, you’re only going to use my information to obstruct justice.”

“Justice? What do you care about justice?” I laughed.

“Not a thing. But I care about my contract with Ray’Ziel and it’s still in force.”

“Well, I’ve reconsidered what you had originally proposed. We should work together,” I said.

No matter how many drivers or butlers I had, I wouldn’t have the resources of the Quadrad. Might as well use them.

Besides, I had dated Garm at one point.

“Sorry, Hank. That offer is closed,” she said.

I had been doing gang negotiations since before Garm had been put in suspended animation, unfrozen, or even born. I had the upper hand in this I figured.

“Garm,” I said, admiring my fingers casually, “I have to report to the City Council on my findings. I could tell them that you didn’t cooperate. Not only that, I could tell them that your organization was responsible. Hardly far-fetched.”

Garm sighed dramatically and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Hank, you know I’m Quadrad, right?”

“Of course. By birth, by death, you said.”

“And you understand you’re in the Quadrad headquarters,” she continued.

“In all its bleached glory.”

“And you realize that if you threaten us, here, to our faces, we are obligated to respond.”

Pause.

“I did not know that, no. But you don’t have to tell anyone. Simple mistake. I mean, we dated.”

The walls came alive.

Or I think it was the walls.

No, that didn’t make any sense. It was just a bunch of Quadrad who had been standing there all ghostly, listening to me threaten their entire order of assassins even though I could barely walk in here.

Out of a life of unwise moments, this ranked high.

I had fought with some Quadrad before, including Garm in a way, and there wasn’t much I could do to them. I was too slow and they were too fast.

But there wasn’t much they could do to me either. They typically relied on bladed weapons, and while I had been penetrated and lacerated and serrated a thousand different ways, it was never anything permanent or incapacitating. Though having a stiletto shoved up your butt was exactly as entertaining as it sounded.

These Quadrad were even more annoying than the ones I had faced before. I don’t know how they did it, but even when they moved I could hardly see them.

It wasn’t invisibility. It was just white-on-white. They must have had every surface a uniform white and moved in conjunction with the lights and the reflections and my eyes. How could anyone make so many calculations and be so fluid while fighting?

I mean, let’s say they had a sword. That’s got to have an edge, right? It’s got to have a shading difference where her hand held it. But I could see almost nothing.

Every once in a while I’d see a black spot or hint of a line or zigzag.

As if that wasn’t enough, they seemed to have modernized their weapons a bit. I was feeling the cuts. In short order I was bleeding all over my hands and face and neck.

Garm was still Garm. She did some kind of showoff-y backflip, took out her heavy pistol, fired, hit me between the eyes, and kept firing.

This wasn’t going particularly well.

From what I knew, which wasn’t much, Quadrad were all women. All lithe, hot women. What they did with the ugly ones or the men was anyone’s guess. Quadrad accountants? But the point was, if I could get a hand on them, I could break them in half.

But I’d have an easier time thumb wrestling Wallow than catching a Quadrad in this ivory palace.

However, my helplessness at fighting Quadrad in the past was one of the reasons I had hired Delovoa to make me concussion grenades.

I wasn’t so stupid I’d come into Quadrad headquarters unarmed.

I reached into my jacket and pulled out a grenade and primed it. I held it out in my open hand, expecting it to bonk some sense—or at least sluggishness—into these women.

Clank!

I briefly saw the grenade dance across the floor and then vanish.

Someone must have picked up the grenade, disarmed it, and shielded it with her white body so I couldn’t see it.

I then realized what a dire situation I was in. This floor could be all slanted and tilted at arbitrary locations and I’d never know. I had no idea how many people I was fighting, other than Garm, and my best weapon against them seemed to be pretty ineffective.

I had my Gravitonic gun, but I couldn’t aim at something I couldn’t see.

“So, this whole ‘attack me’ thing. How long does that go on? Can I say I’m sorry?” I asked.

My clothes were coming off like confetti. They were diced so thin they were probably an inhalation hazard.

No one answered me. Garm was on her second magazine. I felt her bullets hit, but I noticed she wasn’t aiming for my eyes directly. She hit my nose. Each cheekbone. My forehead. And I was beginning to think she still had a soft spot for me when she shot me directly in one testicle, which doubled me over in pain.

None of this was likely to kill me anytime soon. The flu wasn’t likely to kill you anytime soon, either. That didn’t mean you weren’t miserable.

Besides, I knew these ladies could afford quality gear. I didn’t want to wait until they found the perfect cleaver to hack my skin off.

“Hank officially apologizes to the spectacular Quadrad,” I said, while trying to cover myself as best I could.

The attacks didn’t let up.

“Hank, in recognition of his previous blunder, would like to pay the Quadrad a sum to be negotiated upon his leaving here unmolested. Un-further-molested,” I attempted.

No response except more attacks.

I walked. It was a natural instinct when you were being cut and shot. You wanted to get out of it. Even though I was surrounded. Even though I couldn’t see where I was going. Even though I had a greater chance of tripping or otherwise making myself even more vulnerable, I continued shuffling around as if it would help.

“Hank would like to extend the offer he has received from the City Council and share it with his good friends at the Quadrad,” I exclaimed.

Again, no change.

That was a lot. I was offering my best contract. And I knew Garm loved money. Was this really that serious? Were they going to kill me?

I reached in and took out my last concussion grenade before it was cut away with my clothes.

Clank!

I looked at it in my hand.

They had disarmed it before it had even been primed! I hadn’t seen who or what did it. But it didn’t have the trigger mechanism anymore.

It wasn’t some jagged cut in the metal either. It was a surgical disassembly. Like if an engineer had sat there at a workbench and tinkered with it for a few hours.

What was I supposed to do against them? Why did I always have to fight stuff that didn’t care that I was big and strong? What’s the point of being big and strong? If I got out of this, watch me get in a tussle with some grumpy magnetic storm next.

But the grenade was still in my hand. And I still had my gun. And I still had my body, more or less in one piece.

I took a chance and bowled the inert grenade as fast as I could along the ground.

It skittered ahead maybe ten feet, then ducked down three to the right, went up a slight berm, rolled back to the left, then around, then went up a lip, lost a lot of momentum, and then:

Bonk. Bonk.

That was it. A corner. A corner of the room.

I was right. They had all kinds of crazy geometry on the floor. Raised and lowered. But the grenade was still sitting there and I had seen the path it had taken.

I didn’t have to make it gracefully. I just had to get there.

I took off in the direction of the grenade. It suddenly disappeared. And while that threw me at first, it wasn’t nearly as bad as having the floor drop out from under me. Then rise up. I hit what must have been a pillar and scrambled around it.

I kept a deathgrip on my Gravitonic gun, so I was hampered by having only one free hand as I rolled and slipped and twisted my way to the corner.

The good news was that during this chaotic dash, I didn’t have as many Quadrad attacking. Not even they wanted to be in front of me as I went hurtling through their crazy jungle gym of a lobby.

I smacked headfirst into the wall, bounced off, hit the other wall, and plopped on my ass.

I was literally sitting in the corner.

“I hereby rescind my previous offers because you guys were such jerks. Also, the Quadrad are a bunch of sissies!”

I powered on my Gravitonic gun and set it to high.

I turned to face the wall, my gun aimed directly down and forward.

“Wait, sisters!” I heard Garm warn. She knew me too well.

But the attacks resumed and I was getting cut on my back and arms and neck. When I felt the whole gang was here, I fired.

Woont!

The Gravitonic gun didn’t have recoil like a gunpowder weapon. But when fired at point-blank range at a corner on full power, it turned me into a very large cannonball.

The energy splash also cascaded around me and off the adjacent walls and hit the Quadrad who were in close proximity.

And it cracked a bunch of their damn hidden lights that made this place so uniformly white.

I came to on my back and immediately closed my hand. My gun was still there. I sat up. I was still in a sea of white, but that corner way over there was now gray and textured.

I staggered to my feet and tried to get back over to it.

There were some Quadrad on the ground. It looked like three, but it was hard to tell. Some of their armor had shattered and come apart. It was the only way I could have seen them. They had normal skin tones underneath. I doubted they were dead, I had borne the brunt of the blast, but I wasn’t going to shed a lot of tears if any of them had been killed while they were trying to remove my hide.

As I was tripping and crawling to the corner I realized I had knocked out both of my top fake teeth. It was a testament to their cost that even in this situation I paused and looked back to see if I could spot them. But they were gone.

When I was comfortably back in the corner I breathed a considerable, if whistling, sigh of relief.

I stood as imposing as I could with my clothes chopped to bits, my teeth gone, and my gun unpowered for another three minutes.

“Oh, yeah. Eat suck, suckface!” I gasped.

But it sounded silly without my false teeth.

Garm appeared out of nowhere again. She must have been behind a column. She looked around at the damage.

“We’ll consider this resolved to satisfaction if you take back your threat,” she said.

I sniffed a bit, and I had plenty to sniff since both nostrils were bleeding—in addition to my ears, my eyes, my mouth, and everything else the Quadrad could get near.

“I suppose,” I said, trying to be tough.

“You have to renounce the threat,” she said.

“Fine. I officially announce the threat.”

“Renounce.”

“Yeah. Fine. My hearing isn’t so great when people keep sticking knives in my earholes.”

“You have to say it. This isn’t a joke, Hank.”

“I officially…” and I wanted to say “denounce,” because that sounded right. I know it wasn’t “announce,” I think I just said that. I was a little loopy. I had shot myself in the face with a Gravitonic gun on full power. “Renounce the threat?” I asked.

Garm pinched the bridge of her nose again and sighed.

“Granted. Now get out.”

Quadrad

CHAPTER 31

Clothes a mess, no teeth, sliced up by Quadrad, and didn’t get a chance to talk to Garm about Ray’Ziel.

That was a less than productive meeting.

I tried to sneak my way upstairs and get some work clothes from my office without Cliston scolding me.

Inside was an exceptionally beautiful woman.

She was sitting at my secretary’s old desk and just…shimmered. I mean her skin was actually shimmering. She beamed a glorious smile at me and it was like a heavenly choir.

“Hello, Hank. I’m your new secretary,” she said perkily.

“Huh?”

Cliston suddenly appeared behind me. I think he could sense when I wasn’t dressed properly.

“Where are your teeth, sir?”

“My new ones are already sprouting, look,” I said, and bared my gums.

“May I present your new secretary? I hired her today after an extensive search.”

She stood up and offered her hand. She must have been a foot taller than me and her whole body sparkled. It wasn’t just her face and neck. Her arms and hands and ample cleavage. Even her waterfall pink hair, which looked like it spilled down to the floor and maybe into the next space station.

“What the hell are you?” I asked super politely.

She smiled again.

“I’m a Craolian. I came to Belvaille System last week and Cliston was kind enough to offer me this job.”

“She was highly sought after,” Cliston said severely.

“I bet. Let me talk to you in the hall for a minute, Cliston. Excuse us, what’s your name, miss?”

She responded with a name that sounded like tinkling music. I didn’t know how to imitate it and I’d probably swallow my tongue if I tried.

“Right. We’ll be back shortly,” I said.

“Did you walk across the city looking like that?” Cliston asked.

“My tele was destroyed by some angry Quadrad so I couldn’t call my driver. Or drivers.”

“The Quadrad were probably offended at you being practically naked in the middle of the day.”

“What’s the time of day have to do with anything? If it was the morning would it be okay?”

“I feel like you aren’t even trying sometimes, sir. Like you are actively attempting to undo the strides we’ve made.”

“You make it sound like I was homeless before I hired you. I wasn’t doing all that bad, you know. I used to be Governor of this dump.”

“That was ages ago, sir. You are only as relevant as your last party.”

“That doesn’t even make sense. I hardly go to parties.”

“Exactly.”

I pointed back at the closed door.

“How am I supposed to work with her here? I can’t concentrate with her shining all in my eyes. I’ll go blind in a week.”

“You don’t find her attractive?” he asked.

“Of course she’s attractive,” I said, throwing my arms up. “She’s too attractive. She’s a damn fireworks display.”

“This is a form—” Cliston started, but then the gorgeous woman exited my office and we stopped talking.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I sense some disharmony here. I think it’s best if I go.”

“It is us who should be apologizing to you.” Cliston bowed. “Forgive our complete lack of grace and propriety.”

I felt that was a dig at me.

“Yeah, my servant should have consulted me before hiring anyone,” I said, also bowing in my tattered clothes.

“Unfortunately, my master hasn’t a clue how to hire anyone let alone manage expenses, so that would have been impossible.” Cliston continued to address the tall woman.

“I was Supreme Kommilaire, of course, and hired lots and lots of people. And that was when there were tons of rapists and murderers running around,” I countered.

The shimmering woman’s eyes went wide and she hastened to move past us.

“Thank you for considering me. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out.”

“So am I,” Cliston said.

We watched her go down the stairs quietly.

“Your teeth will need to be repaired.”

“I’m not buying new teeth! They’re just going to get knocked out again. They’re barely fastened. My day job isn’t reading stories for children. I get hit in the face a lot. That’s my job!”

“Maybe you’re doing your job incorrectly then. Sir.”

I almost bounced off the ceiling. I was not in the mood for this. Not from someone I paid—and I’m guessing quite a bit of money.

“No hunk of scrap is going to lecture me how to do what I do! I’ve seen every bit of slime and sleaze this galaxy has to offer since before you were a little spot of rust on your daddy’s axle. I may not be the prettiest, or best dressed, or most eloquent guy there is, but people come to me knowing what they get. It says it right there on the label,” I said, and I pounded my chest.

Cliston stood silently a long moment.

“I think that this experiment may be at its logical conclusion. I am hereby handing in my two-and-one-quarter-weeks’ notice,” he stated with his usual dignity.

“The hell with your notice. Go now if you like! I’m sure you don’t have much to pack.”

“As you wish.”

Cliston indeed didn’t have much. Two large suitcases probably full of screws and gaskets.

He took a taxi, and that was the only moment I felt kind of bad. I’m not sure if his shoulders were capable of slumping, but when he got into that cheap cab, he seemed defeated.

I cobbled together some food for myself and looked at my teeth in the mirror. They weren’t all that bad. I couldn’t use them to chew or anything, but in a few months they’d be good as new.

I burnt my food and in the early evening my lights went off and I had no idea how to turn them back on.

CHAPTER 32

I needed to take care of my damn soup shop.

That tax bill was going to come sooner or later and this time MTB would probably show he was serious—not that he was joking last time. Without Cliston to juggle my finances, or decipher them, I felt the restaurant was a high priority.

Of course my driver was gone and I got a note that my limo had been impounded.

My servants hadn’t been working for me. They had been working for Cliston. It’s not as if my name carried any weight in terms of a character reference.

I took a cab to the Trade District. I realized I forgot my wallet when we arrived. Cliston usually dressed me and took care of things like that.

I had to haggle with the driver that I would pay him back and it was quite humiliating. If this was Old Belvaille I could just threaten to flip his car over or maybe blast out his doors with my Gravitonic gun. But he’d just call the Central Authority on me.

At my soup shop I saw the padlock had been removed and the lights were on.

I had my gun ready as I slowly moved inside.

I tried to crouch down and scan over the counters, but I couldn’t move like this and my vision was obstructed in a lot of areas.

“Hey!” I bellowed. “Who’s here?”

If they were going to shoot me, they were going to shoot me. Maybe I could shoot them back. But I wasn’t going to go tiptoeing all over the place waiting for it. I couldn’t spare the cartilage and didn’t have the patience.

There was a red blur and a Po stood in front of me all rippling and gyrating.

It startled me so much I almost shot it.

“Hey, you’re Delovoa’s Po, right?” I asked stupidly. Stupidly because it didn’t have a mouth to answer and there probably weren’t a million red Po on Belvaille hanging out in soup restaurants I had told Delovoa about.

It seemed to wave extra fast at me and loped off.

I followed.

At the back of the restaurant, a food cooler had been lifted and there were stairs going down. I saw some light, but it was a tight fit and I couldn’t see because of the angle. I’d have to go blindly head or feet first.

“Hello?” I called.

“Hank, come down,” Delovoa answered.

Hearing Delovoa made me slightly more comfortable. But it was still Delovoa. I was continually telling myself that if he really wanted me dead he could have done it centuries ago. It was more a matter of him killing me accidentally.

I went down feet first, bumping down the stairs loudly and smacking into a wall at the bottom.

“That was graceful,” Delovoa chided.

I was in a laboratory. Like Delovoa had said must exist somewhere to make the soup. There were all kinds of…laboratory machines and equipment around. It was totally unlike the shop above in that it was clean and bright and glowing.

“So I take it this is where the soup ingredients were created?” I asked.

“It’s not soup. Stop calling it that. Upstairs could be a clothing store. You wouldn’t call the formula a miniskirt.”

“Maybe I would,” I said, just to be defiant. “How did you know this was here?”

“I knew it was somewhere. I checked the power consumption records and when Tamshius was alive this building drew almost as much power as the entire rest of the block.”

“You still have access to power records?” I asked, worried.

“No,” he lied.

I frowned.

“So after that you decided to break into my shop?”

He gave me a withering look. I didn’t know all of Delovoa’s history. Or even much of it. But the galaxy would probably run out of paper trying to record all the laws he’d broken before you ever got to the item about cracking the rusty padlock on a derelict soup kitchen.

“Yes. I broke in,” he said.

“How did you get down here?”

He had his wheelbarrow full of intestines and wasn’t exactly spry.

“It carried me,” he said, pointing to the Po.

“It doesn’t have a name?”

Delovoa shrugged.

“Do you want to name it?” Delovoa asked.

“Ziggy,” I said, after a moment.

“Ziggles,” Delovoa amended.

“Why did you ask me to name it if you were just going to change it?”

“I didn’t ask you to name it. I asked you if you wanted to name it.”

“So, what’s all this equipment? Can I sell it and pay for the taxes on this place?” I asked.

“Don’t you want to know what it does first?”

“Not really. I know it makes me kind of crazy and kind of horny. In the grand scheme of things, I can do without both of those. Neither one has exactly been a path to success for me.”

“What if those are merely side effects? You need to test it!” Delovoa implored. “Tamshius was quite wealthy at one point.”

“Cliston walked out on me and I don’t know how long my other jobs are going to last. I will owe a lot in taxes really soon.”

“Wait. Are you going to pay me for my work?” he asked.

“What work? You said Cliston already paid you for the new gun.”

“For this. For evaluating your last samples.”

“You poisoned me!”

“It was hardly poison,” he purred.

“Just because it didn’t kill me doesn’t mean it wasn’t poison,” I said. “I’m not paying you for that.”

“You don’t get to define words. I gave you the sample, which you had already tried, at a reduced dosage, with the goal of isolating its properties,” he said delicately.

“You gave me a substance without me knowing. That also might have killed me. That’s poisoning.”

“So if I give you some milk and you’re allergic to milk that’s poisoning you?”

I thought about that.

“Your argument is on shaky grounds,” Delovoa continued.

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” I huffed.

“I’m still one of the best technological minds in this System,” he replied.

“Who are you kidding? You haven’t been current in a hundred years, Delovoa. You just know the Portals.”

He was incensed. Or I guessed that expression was incensed. Delovoa’s head was chopped in half and his chest cavity was wide open like drapes on a window and his innards were bobbing in a handcart.

But he had done all that to himself. And not died. Teams of people might be able to do that to some poor test subject, but it would take years of work and incredible funding. Delovoa had probably done it on a weekend after breakfast. He definitely had a twisted genius, I couldn’t deny that.

“Oh, and we also found something else for you,” he said.

“Everything here is for me.”

“Get the envelope,” he said to his Po.

Ziggy or Ziggles took off and hurried back. It thrust something in my face and I recoiled.

“What?” Delovoa laughed. “It’s not going to bite you.”

“I didn’t say it was. But it could high-five me to death.”

I took the envelope which was addressed to Hank of Hank Block. I saw it was already opened, probably by Delovoa.

“It’s empty,” I said.

“No, it’s not. Look closer.”

I saw a tiny piece of electronics inside.

“What is that, an…electrode or something?”

“Why do you always have to try and guess when you have no clue? No, it’s not an electrode. It’s not a pulsar either. It’s also not a four-tailed filaduffin with purple stripes.”

“Okay, okay. What is it?”

“It’s a tele data chip.”

“My tele got chopped apart by some Quadrad. Can I borrow yours?” I asked.

“The old-style teles. From the Colmarian Confederation,” he clarified.

“Where am I going to get one of those?”

“You didn’t keep your old tele?”

“Why would I? Did you?” I asked.

“No,” he agreed.

I looked at the chip for a while, which wasn’t even half the size of my pinky nail. It seemed rather insignificant in the face of all this other junk. Even if it wasn’t, finding a working Colmarian Confederation tele wasn’t going to be easy.

“Well, what will it take to determine what this gear does and what it’s worth?” I asked.

“50% of either the sales of the equipment or the formula,” he said. It was obvious he had rehearsed that.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll give you 10%. If you don’t like it, I’ll climb out of here ahead of you and sit on that cooler until you get so hungry you eat Ziggy.”

“Ziggles,” Delovoa amended again.

“Its name is Ziggy now.”

CHAPTER 33

Wham!

Wham!

Wham!

Crack!

I had to break into my own home because I didn’t have keys. There was a doorbell of course but no one there to answer it.

It was almost pitch black inside and I stumbled around.

“You know, this carpet gets matted and tangled if you don’t brush it out every day,” I heard Garm say from somewhere deep in the recesses of my house.

Great. Just what I needed.

At least I knew where the corners were here and I had my Gravitonic gun on me. Still, I didn’t feel like tangling with a bunch of Quadrad now and presumably they had learned from our last encounter. The wise thing would be to let them have my building and go take theirs. Maybe splash some color around and liven the place up a bit.

I couldn’t resist throwing a taunt, however.

“Do the dishes while you’re here. And don’t steal anything. I know you Quadrad have sticky fingers.”

“I’m agreeing to your offer,” she said.

“The dishes?”

I heard her sigh.

“No, stupid, the other offer.”

“What other offer?”

“About working together to find Ray’Ziel’s killer!” She said, exasperated.

“You said that was closed.”

“Yeah, but you offered again.”

“But I rescinded when you guys kind of tried to kill me.”

“We weren’t really trying to kill you. But we have protocol.”

“Oh, well, then that’s okay,” I said sarcastically. “Besides, why should I trust the Quadrad? You guys are professional assassins.”

“We do more than assassinate.”

“Yeah, but it’s stuff like racketeering and kidnapping and arson.”

“So?” she said.

“Well…I don’t know. That’s not super trustworthy. Turn on the lights.”

“It’s your house, you turn on the lights,” she answered.

“I don’t know where they are.”

“So Cliston did leave. I heard it, but didn’t believe it. You piss off everyone, don’t you?”

Finally I managed to get one lamp on and I expected to see a room full of Quadrad all scowling, but it was just her. The rest were probably behind the couch or on the ceiling or deep in my tangled carpet.

“Come inside,” she said. “So you’re not standing on the street like a salesman.”

I powered on my gun, holding it with two hands, and walked in warily.

“I can’t talk to you over that noise,” she yelled. “It’s just me here.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m not here on behalf of the Quadrad. I’m here just for me,” she said.

“Why?”

She pointed at my gun angrily.

I turned it off, but kept my finger ready.

“The Quadrad won’t work with you. Because, you know, you threatened us, and fought us, in our own headquarters. A lot of people aren’t very happy about that.”

“But you run the Quadrad. Tell them to chill out.”

“I don’t run the Quadrad,” she said, surprised.

“What? Since when? You always did. You made such a huge deal about this being your territory. And you even owned Belvaille at one point!”

“When Belvaille was back in Ginland I was the only Quadrad within thousands of light years. It wasn’t hard to claim it as my territory since no one else wanted it. When we moved to Ceredus I owned the station, but more and more Quadrad started showing up because of the civil war. We have politics and hierarchies like any other organization. I’m just one person.”

“But you wear black. And other colors,” I reasoned.

“There are Quadrad all over this System. You’ve likely seen countless and not known it.”

“Countless? What are you, bunnies?”

“Amusing,” she said, unamused.

“And they’re all mad at me?”

“They’re not happy. Some even wanted to put a contract on you.”

“What?”

I powered my gun back on.

“But we already agreed that you were safe to go so that was quashed,” she yelled over the noise.

I turned it back off.

“If we can work together and close the Ray’Ziel contract, it will not only put you in good with the Quadrad—”

“Which I don’t really care about,” I interrupted.

“But it will also help me personally in the Quadrad.”

“Which I also don’t care about.”

“Then why did you come to see us?” she asked, annoyed.

“Not to help you guys, that’s for sure. The Governor is giving me heat on this.”

“The Governor?” she asked, stunned. “You really are moving up. You know he’s a mutant, right?”

“He said he was. What can he do?”

“You can’t tell anyone,” she said, “this is from Quadrad files.”

“Who am I going to tell?”

“You’ll probably tell the first person you see when you’re at the Gentle Club drinking and eating.”

I was about to argue, but she was right.

“I think he can like stop time or something. That’s why he looks so old.”

I shook my head.

“Stop time! Then why the hell does he need me?”

“Because he ages normally as he does it. So if he keeps on, eventually he’ll die.”

That was a pretty crazy mutation. How great would that be, though. Someone was about to shoot you, you just stop, go get something to eat, come back, slam them in the face with a brick, restart time.

“So what do you know about his killers?” she asked me.

“There were two guys. And they ran out of the restaurant after the explosion and jumped over a wall.”

“You were serious about that?”

“Yeah. I saw them two more times and they pummeled the crap out of me. I mean, they are either Dredel Led or mutants or some mini-Therezians. I’m thinking they might have something to do with his death. I was hoping you all might know them. Or know any contract taken out on Ray’Ziel.”

“We were protecting Ray’Ziel. If we knew any contract to kill him, we would have stopped it,” she said.

“Malla said that all the City Council wanted Ray’Ziel gone. Or at least they don’t care that he’s gone. Maris-To certainly doesn’t. And it seems a lot of people in the Education Sector don’t either.”

“Malla? I read she got you out of prison,” Garm said.

“Yeah, I’ve done some work for her. She was Ray’Ziel’s wife. Do you know much about her?”

“She’s my granddaughter.”

CHAPTER 34

I kept forgetting that other people had personal lives. It was damn inconsiderate of them, really.

I knew Garm had a kid. A son. He was a librarian or something equally lame.

Presumably when Garm got put into suspended animation, her son kept living and his own kid grew up into Malla.

I didn’t need to know the specifics. I merely stood there mildly petrified and wondered if she knew I was sexing her granddaughter.

It’s not as if anything was wrong with that. Malla was certainly old enough. But I couldn’t see Garm taking it on the chin and wishing us well—or buying Malla lingerie.

“So?” Garm asked, after a moment.

“What? I didn’t know she was your granddaughter,” I shouted at her.

“No, about the deal.”

“What deal?”

“I swear, when Jyonal rebuilt your body, I think he forgot your brain,” she said.

“He didn’t forget. He skipped it. If he had done my brain I would have lost all my memories in between the last time he saw me and when he created my new body.”

“So your brain is rotting in your skull?” she asked, startled.

“No, he kind of ‘fixed’ it. Though I don’t know how good a neurosurgeon he was. I seem to forget a lot of stuff.”

“No wonder. How old are you again?”

“Not that old,” I hedged.

She gave me a withering glance.

“Stars are younger than you.”

“So our deal?” I asked Garm.

“We work together and split the payout on the contract from the City Council.”

“There is no payout.”

“No, I mean the reward for determining who was responsible,” she said.

“There is none. The contract ends.”

“What? So there’s basically no incentive to look?” she asked.

“Yeah. That’s why I wasn’t looking.”

She thought about that a long while.

“Who wrote the contract?”

“I have no idea. But everyone was there, even the Governor,” I said.

“That doesn’t mean they all read it,” she reasoned.

“Oh, I’m sure they didn’t. It’s huge and complicated. I had to get Cliston to translate it.”

“Why did you ever fire him, anyway? He’s probably the best butler in the System.”

“I think he kind of fired me.”

Later, my doorbell was going crazy. Like a thousand beeps a second. I didn’t even know it could go that fast.

I had confined myself to my living room because that was the only area where I could get the lights working and I got tired of running into walls.

As I walked to the front door, I figured it must be kids messing with my doorbell. I picked up my Gravitonic gun and set it to low power. I doubted I would actually shoot any children…they were small targets and pretty hard to hit.

I threw open the door and saw three or four Po billowing there.

It was hard to tell how many there were because it was just a big pile of arms and hands on my front porch going crazy with the doorbell.

But I knew what this meant.

Delovoa had a Po servant, but the Po were normally the slaves of the Boranjame.

The galaxy may have gone into a kind of dark ages after the collapse of the Colmarian Confederation, but the Boranjame were still the Boranjame.

Fortunately, they were pretty nice. I mean, yeah, they sometimes destroyed whole solar systems or clutches of solar systems, but they usually gave everyone a chance to leave first.

They also had a tendency to give weird prophetic speeches and nudge you toward some conclusion or other. I still recalled a farewell from a Prince of the Boranjame that described my death in rather grisly detail. The Prince was, due to his continued growth, square miles in size.

Zeti was the only Boranjame in Belvaille System. And was the only member of his species I had ever heard about not living on a Boranjame ship. I wouldn’t exactly say he had helped me, but he had illuminated some things for me in the past.

But helpful or not, when a Boranjame sent for you, you went.

I didn’t have a driver or car and my front door didn’t lock behind me because I had broken it off its hinges. So I did my best to close it and followed the Po down the street.

I could see more clearly as we began walking that there were four of them. I never really liked looking directly at Po because they made me motion sick.

We had to stop maybe five times for me to rest.

I would have taken a taxi, but I didn’t know where Zeti lived anymore and the Po had no way of telling me other than herding me along. They were probably fast enough to run along with a cab, but didn’t have a way of notifying the driver which way to turn other than reaching in the window and slapping him or tugging his nose hairs.

We were heading mostly north, through Trade District.

My feet were aching when we reached a building about fifteen stories tall.

I tried my best to straighten my outfit as the Po led me inside.

The last I had seen of Zeti, he had been maybe five feet wide, tall, and deep.

When I went in the building, my jaw hit the floor, exposing all my missing teeth.

Nearly the entire building was filled with Zeti!

Boranjame were a crystalline species, rotating disks, plates, and pieces that interlocked and looped and traversed in hypnotic patterns. Zeti was blueish of varying tints. The light reflected off him and was dazzling enough that at points it hurt my eyes.

He had no features such as eyes or mouth or a torso or legs.

He floated some distance off the floor.

There were dozens of Po inside scurrying around, setting up. I never knew if the Po fed or cleaned or did what to the Boranjame. I didn’t ask.

Zeti’s size concerned me. This building couldn’t contain him if he grew much more. There was no way he could even leave Belvaille. The port was too small for him. Would he keep growing and eventually crush everyone on the station? Would some Boranjame ship come, rip apart Belvaille, and Zeti would float out?

This seemed like something that should be addressed.

The Po brought forth some speakers and I knew we were getting closer. Boranjame had to speak through electronic devices.

I heard the pulse from the speakers. I waited about five more minutes and got impatient.

“Hi!” I said good-naturedly to the largest creature in Belvaille System which was also the most powerful species in the galaxy. “You sure have gotten big!”

I stood there smiling like an idiot when he finally replied.

“Don’t cross the street,” he said.

The speaker system was then dismantled by the Po just as quickly as they put it up and numerous Po were trying to push me out the front door.

“Wait. What street?” I asked. “Today? When? Like any street?”

The Po had a lot of hands. And they were surprisingly strong and nimble and fast.

I was deposited on the sidewalk and the door closed before I even realized I was outside. I blinked a few times at my rapid transit then stared up at the large building. Was Zeti really that big? There was a creature in there!

And he had told me not to walk across any streets.

Or a street?

Or the street?

To my right was the street.

I hurried away from it.

But, you know, I was on a city.

I tentatively walked around the block and realized, of course, I couldn’t get home without crossing some street.

What if I ran across the street? Or hopped?

Even if I tried to get a ride, I would be crossing a street. I’d just be doing it in a car.

I walked around the block again and stood at the edge of the curb.

I could go back in and demand Zeti tell me more.

But he was really large. And Boranjame. And his Po could just plop me back out here. Or not even open the door.

I probably waited a few hours more, walking up and down the sidewalk, dipping my toe into the street, and then diving for cover.

My stomach was going to overrule my fear. I was getting pretty hungry and I couldn’t be scared of roads in a city. Not if I wanted to make a living.

Even still, I checked all around to make sure it was clear.

I plotted where I was going to go and how I would get there. I knew a swank hotel I could call a cab. I’d ask for an armored security limo.

I took a deep breath and stepped into the street with both feet.

I didn’t melt in acid or turn into a cabbage.

I hurried to the middle of the road, keeping my eyes where I was going so I didn’t trip or the ground didn’t open up in front of me.

With my eyes down, I completely missed the car that sped around the corner and came barreling down the road.

The crash pinned me to the wall and broke three ribs, two bones in my legs, and dislocated three vertebrae.

“You’re under arrest for tax evasion!” MTB yelled.

CHAPTER 35

I was lying down in an empty jail cell.

Five Central Officers, armed with all kinds of scary weapons I couldn’t identify, held me cover even though my wretched physical condition made that unnecessary.

A tax examiner read off his findings. I drifted in and out of consciousness. Not so much because I was injured, but because I was so bored.

“…confiscation of household items in main dwelling, furniture, carpet—”

“You took my carpet?” I asked.

“Yes.”

Everyone seemed to like that carpet, but I never did. If it helped pay my tax bill, I didn’t care.

“Jewelry prosthetics…” he continued.

I felt my mouth. They had taken my bottom tooth! That was kind of insulting.

“Evaluation of Trade District property recovered no significant assets for liquidation,” he said.

Hmm. They found nothing at the soup restaurant, which told me they hadn’t found the lab.

“Freezing of funds has begun according to the appropriate Ank regulations.”

It annoyed me that the Ank race, a kind of spindly, faceless species, had remained as the bankers of the galaxy even though they had tried to undertake a major financial coup tantamount to removing everyone’s freewill.

But when all the Ank converged on Belvaille it had been determined that only a portion knew the extent of the plan and the rest were free to continue being the galaxy’s financiers. They weren’t allowed on Belvaille, but I took that more as racial snobbery than any kind of retribution for their sins.

They operated in the Trade Sector and lived on giant banking ships.

“Siphoning of accounts and transference of ownership will continue.”

“I have a bank account?” I asked, surprised.

“You had five, of course,” he said it as if I was some master financial criminal.

“Did I have a lot of money?”

“Not enough to pay your taxes. We may have to auction your Hank Block building.”

“No!”

That was my last hold on Belvaille. If they got rid of that, I wouldn’t be able to support myself here. I’d end up floating out in the Sectors somewhere doing odd jobs again.

“The fees are non-negotiable,” he said in a dead voice.

“How can I owe more than what all my possessions are worth? It was just one extra building.”

He looked at me for the first time.

“You own two buildings on Belvaille. Buildings! There are nobles who manage the trade routes between a dozen solar systems who can’t even afford a condominium here. I am the Comptroller General of the Central Authority. I share a bunk bed with the Deputy Comptroller and we split an apartment with the Chief of Human Resources. I eat every meal in the company cafeteria and all my clothes are provided by the C.A. You will forgive me if I don’t have much compassion for your situation.”

They used a make-shift stretcher to drag me to a larger holding cell. It took eight guys and wasn’t a smooth ride.

There were four other people in the cell. Most wore heraldry, but I was in too much pain to make small talk and find out what landed them in C.A. lockup. They probably stole from their employers.

I closed my eyes to try and get some sleep, but that was easier said than done having a twisted back and broken legs.

“You probably don’t remember me, Hank,” I heard a voice whisper.

I cracked an eyelid and saw a husky man hovering over me with a wild expression.

“Nope,” I said, and closed my eye.

“You put me in the Royal Wing. It took eight years for me to get out of there. You know what eight years on the Royal Wing is like?”

Apparently this guy wasn’t going to let me sleep so I opened both eyes.

“Bad?”

He almost inhaled his lower lip at that answer.

“You wouldn’t have lasted. But check you out now. Here in the cooler. I’m guessing no one cares about Hank now. And you ain’t half as big as before. I got something here you might like.”

“Is it you shutting up?”

He held up a sharpened metal spike. It was maybe two inches long, so it could be concealed. It disappeared at my side and I coughed and some blood came out on my face.

The man looked surprised—probably because he hadn’t touched me with the spike yet.

If I swallowed that little knife and someone pounded on my stomach with a sledgehammer for an hour, I doubt it could have hurt me. No, I coughed blood because I just got smashed into a wall at high speed by an automobile and I was laughing at that pathetic weapon.

With some difficulty and no small amount of discomfort, I reached out and took hold of the man.

I then pushed his skull against the bars until his head squeezed between. This cut his ears and cheeks and temples pretty good. The man passed out at this point.

I then took his arms, drew them through the bars, and dislocated his shoulders.

Then I lay back on my stretcher, my back screaming in agony the whole way.

From my reclined position I saw the other inmates staring in horror.

“If anyone asks,” I said, “tell them he slipped.”

CHAPTER 36

I had a lot of time to think in my jail cell.

Presumably the Quadrad were hired to protect Ray’Ziel because Malla or Garm had requested it. But that meant Malla, who was my main suspect in the murder, couldn’t have engineered her husband’s death.

Unless it was an elaborate cover.

But she didn’t really need a cover. The only person concerned about the murder of a City Councilman was me, and I was busy counting my back spasms in prison.

I suppose the Governor cared, and he was a pretty big exception. But how much did he really care? MTB and the Central Authority were under his jurisdiction and they seemed more interested in my tax status than dead politicians.

Garm liked money a lot. And having her granddaughter get rich from a dead husband might make Garm overjoyed. But then why offer to help me find the killer if she had something to do with it?

Maybe Garm was offering to help me as a trick. But the Quadrad were serious people. If Garm had been hired to protect Ray’Ziel I don’t believe she could have a hand in his death.

Was Malla a Quadrad? She could have assassinated Ray’Ziel herself if she was. I suppose it was possible that Malla was some normal gal who didn’t know her grandmother’s order of assassins was hired to protect her absurdly wealthy husband. But, you know, that seemed unlikely.

Garm had known I was working for Malla because it was in the papers. But Garm didn’t let on that she knew I was working in any other capacity—she even asked if I had killed Ray’Ziel when she saw me after the explosion. However, Garm was a trained liar and Malla said I sparkled and I believed her, so she was at least pretty good at lying.

Malla or Garm or both knew something they weren’t telling me.

“Have you found the bald robots yet?” I asked MTB.

He didn’t bother answering that.

“You posted bail. Again,” he said, annoyed.

Hmm. That meant Malla was here for me. Or Garm was here for me. Or the Governor was here for me.

“Can I stay here?” I asked MTB.

I could barely move and wasn’t ready for a fight with anything scarier than a wet mop. And I wasn’t ready to go back to work or deal with any Belvaille intrigue.

The Central Authority jail seemed a nice place to recuperate.

“No, you can’t stay here,” he said.

“Well, I can’t walk.”

“We brought a lifter,” he answered helpfully.

They had a small forklift that no one seemed to know how to operate. If there was a hard surface between here and the exit, they made sure to run some part of my body into it.

Honestly, I don’t think they were doing it on purpose because we tipped over three times and one guy messed up his knee pretty bad.

When we were scooting across the final hall to the lobby, I looked around to see who was picking me up.

There was Rendrae. Perfect. He had a camera already recording me, smelling news in the air.

The little tax guy walked up and handed me some papers.

“Your receipt,” he said.

“You mean for staying here?” I asked. I assumed they were going to bill me for breaking my legs with a car.

“No, your receipt for your tax debts. You are paid in full.”

“Did you sell my building?” I asked, so scared I nearly fell off the lifter.

“No,” he said. He handed me the papers and left.

I looked at the receipts, but it could have been written in Qwintine. The only thing that was clear from reading it was that I wasn’t good at mathematics.

The lifter kept going, but no one came out to meet me. Who bailed me out?

Delovoa? No, he didn’t have the money. Had I paid Cliston so much he could bail me out and pay all my taxes?

The little forklift puttered out to the sidewalk and the driver tilted the prongs so that I rolled off and landed in the street.

The driver spent about five minutes turning around and then paused to address me.

“Oh. And suck your face,” he said.

“It’s not a complicated phrase,” I complained, as he drove back into the building.

Well, this was lame.

I pretty much had a broken back and broken legs and broken ribs and I was lying in the street. And I had a bunch of teeth knocked out so if someone came by I couldn’t even bite them to defend myself.

I still hadn’t gotten a new tele so my main hope was that I would become so much of a parking nuisance that they eventually had to pick me up and drive me home.

After some time a giant white limousine pulled up next to me.

I guess this was where I found out who my benefactor was.

The rear door opened.

I waited to see what foot stepped out.

None did.

It was at this point I got the idea that they expected me to enter the limo.

“I’m kind of hurt,” I said to the open door.

“Hurt a lot,” I clarified a moment later. No response.

It took me about fifteen minutes of absolute torture, but I managed to turn myself around and drag my body along the road to the open door.

When I had finally reached the car, I was pouring sweat and exhausted. I poked my head in and had a gander to see if it was worth going any further.

Maris-To sat deep inside the limo, obscured from any prying eyes.

“Please, we have much to discuss,” he said casually, indicating the seat across from him. It was as if he was completely oblivious that I was half-paralyzed in the gutter.

But it was either this or wait for the street sweeper.

I pulled myself into the car and ended up lying face down across the back seat. But I didn’t have a way to close the door. I kind of kicked around with my feet a bit until I felt the door close behind me. Oh, of course, he had a driver. Wish he could have helped me get in!

“You haven’t begun work on the assignment I gave you,” Maris-To said.

It was all I could do to turn my head to face him.

“I’ve been kind of busy. Hey, did you pay my taxes?”

He waved it away with two fingers, as if it wasn’t worth three fingers.

“It was nothing. I need you to get your prerogatives back in alignment. Do you still have the details of the task?”

“I’m pretty sure I do at home. But I’m a bit injured. I got in a car accident. Well, not accident, but car crash,” I said.

“I’ve contacted a physician to take care of you. He has assured me he can facilitate your recovery.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

Medical technicians in the past hadn’t been able to do much for me other than feed me and let me rest. Maris-To had vast wealth and influence, however. Maybe I could get some great medical treatment for once.

At my place, the driver was kind enough to grab me by my ankles and try and pull me out of the car.

I still had to do most of the work by myself and Maris-To was polite enough to ignore my yells and grunts.

When the car pulled away, I wondered how I was ever going to get inside my own house.

“Welcome home, Hank,” I heard Delovoa say.

He stood there with Ziggy.

“Delovoa. How’d you know I was getting out of jail?” I asked, drained.

“Your boss contacted me. I’m your new doctor.”

CHAPTER 37

“I may be in a bad way, but I won’t have a problem fighting you,” I warned Delovoa.

“Stop being such a big baby, I can help.”

“You can’t even get me in my house,” I said. “Ziggy might have a lot of hands, but it’s not that strong.”

“This is why I’m the doctor,” Delovoa stated smugly.

He walked all the way to my front door from the sidewalk, spraying the ground with a canister of something.

Ziggy then began to push me and it was like I was on ice.

I was actually pretty impressed until I kept building more and more speed and by the time I reached my threshold, I blew the doorframe to splinters and went rolling through my carpet-less living room.

“How hard was that?” Delovoa asked, entering some moments later, pushing his guts.

I was more than a little worried what Delovoa might do to me. I mean, look what he did to himself.

I tried to turn on my back so I could fend them off.

“What are you planning?” I asked.

“Using the formula, of course.”

“The soup?”

“It’s not soup!”

“I already told you what it does,” I said.

“So what if it makes you angry and horny. What are you going to do about it?” Delovoa said, indicating my prostrate position. “The important thing is it makes you heal faster and that’s what I’m getting paid to do.”

Ziggy brought in a bunch of boxes and supplies and Delovoa began going through them.

“So am I going to drink it again?” I asked.

I didn’t want to suffer the side effects, but I didn’t want to be crippled either. If it could heal me, maybe it was worth it. Like a hospital in a bottle.

“No, I want to test if we can sell it. Remember, I get a portion of any proceeds,” he said.

“What do you mean test it? Are you going to take it, too?”

“Don’t be stupid, I need to monitor the results. Besides, what if it killed me?”

Delovoa showed off a huge array of complicated electronic gear. He buttoned up his lab coat and Ziggy helped him don some very robust safety equipment.

“Wait, so who are you testing it on?” I asked, concerned.

Delovoa put on a gas mask.

“This District.”

I woke up and saw the insides of my home were almost completely destroyed.

The tax people had taken most of the valuable stuff, but what little remained had all been smashed. The metal walls themselves were dented and scarred and scraped.

Delovoa stood across the room eyeing me suspiciously. For once, all three of his eyes were staring right at me.

“Don’t say ‘I told you so,’ but it was poison,” he said.

“Huh? What happened?” I asked. “How long was I unconscious?”

“Well…I don’t know. I guess it depends on what you consider conscious. It’s been almost five days since I administered the formula.”

“Five days!”

I tried to move and realized I was encased in chains. Lots of chains. Whole junkyards of chains.

“Did you do this?” I asked.

“Are you asking if you chained up yourself?”

“Did you destroy my house?”

“Yes, I pummeled your home with my bare hands,” Delovoa said, flexing one of his frail arms to highlight the foolishness of the question.

“I did it?”

“You went berserk. Not at first. You kind of went into an angry stasis. Then you tried to rip apart everyone and everything in sight. If I hadn’t stopped you from leaving, you’d be back in jail.”

“How did you survive if I was berserk?”

“I don’t sell you all my best weapons. I think I broke a few of your teeth, though.”

I felt around my mouth with my tongue. I still had my same gaps, however. Apparently Delovoa hadn’t paid attention to them before.

But oddly enough, my top teeth had significantly regrown. They were half in. My bottom had made much more progress than it should have at this juncture.

More importantly, I didn’t feel my spine or legs were wrecked.

“Hey, where’s Ziggy? Did I hurt it?” I asked.

“No, it’s making me some lunch,” he said.

“You said the formula was poison?”

“Oh, the whole District was sick. A bunch of deaths I think,” Delovoa said, not terribly interested. “But it’s clearly not poison to you. I know you healed. I know you were a lot faster and stronger than normal. Not sure if you were sexually elevated. We thankfully didn’t have to deal with that.”

“Can you untie me?” I asked.

“Not yet. I want to make sure you’re okay. You went pretty insane,” Delovoa said.

“I feel fine. I feel great, actually.”

“Look around. You tried to kill me.”

I had a hard time thinking it would be difficult to kill the infirm Delovoa. But he’s the guy who just poisoned an entire city District. He was far more dangerous than I could ever dream of being.

“What if they come looking for us?” I asked.

“Why would they?”

“Poisoning the District,” I whispered. “You’re probably the prime suspect when it comes to Belvaille experimentations.”

“How would they know it was an experiment? Besides, I didn’t poison the District. I wasn’t even here. I was on the Library Schooner HLLC for three days. The ship logs confirm it.”

“Yeah, but what if they go talk to people there?” I asked.

“It lost life support yesterday. All the crew died,” Delovoa said sadly.

I had to remember not to irritate Delovoa too much. I mean, I considered him a fairly good friend, probably my best friend, unfortunately, but he just didn’t have much regard for other life.

“Seriously, I’m fine,” I said.

“Here, watch.”

Delovoa wheeled himself closer to me. He then poked my nose with his finger.

“Boop,” he said, in a high-pitched taunt.

“What’s my nose have to do with anything? Does your finger stink or something?”

He poked me again.

“Boop.”

“Alright,” I said patiently.

Poke.

“Boop.”

And it hit me. Just blinding, absolute rage. I tried to headbutt him. Tried to rip free of this impossible amount of chains. I actually hissed at him, as if I could exhale hard enough to hurt him.

Some moments passed and it was gone, but Delovoa stood there grinning.

“And that’s why you’re chained up, Crazy Boy.”

CHAPTER 38

The next day my back felt good. My legs were relatively solid. My ribs were a bit tender but nothing terrible.

I was still angry, however. Angry at everything.

My wrecked home made me angry. The fact I had to put on clothes and I didn’t know how. My food made me angry.

This formula had better wear off soon because food was about the only joy I got out of life. But I sat there stabbing and chopping my meal until it was mush and then I was mad that it wasn’t putting up more of a fight.

“What did you do to your place?” Garm said, coming into my kitchen unannounced. I had stopped eating in the living room because it made me angry.

“Delovoa did it,” I said sort of truthfully.

“I heard you were arrested.”

“I’m not now.”

“Yes. I can see you are not in prison by the fact you are in your home and I am here speaking to you,” Garm said, making me angrier.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“What do you mean? We are supposed to find Ray’Ziel’s killer.”

“I can’t.”

Garm leaned up against the doorframe, crossed her arms, and closed her eyes.

“And why is that?” she sighed.

“Maris-To bailed me out of jail and cancelled my tax debt. I have to do a job for him. I’d still be in prison if he hadn’t helped me out.”

“Is he more important than the Governor?”

I hacked at my plate a few times and my fork stuck in the table.

“Well, no. But the Governor didn’t lift a finger for me. Nor did you. Nor did Malla.”

“What does my granddaughter have to do with it?”

“Nothing! I’m just naming random people who did a whole lot less for me than Maris-To.”

“So what do you have to do for Maris-To?” she asked.

“I don’t know, I haven’t read the note yet.”

She threw up her arms.

“What if it takes you a year?”

“I don’t know. What if it takes me an hour?”

“You don’t do anything in an hour. You’re so slow you crap over weeks.”

“I eat a lot,” I said, trying to defend my bathroom habits. “Hey, you could help me do the job and then we could do the other one.”

“You don’t know the job!”

“Go get it. It’s in an envelope.”

“An envelope? Do I search the galaxy for it or is it limited to the Belvaille System?”

“I think it’s in the…third room on the left. Probably. Cliston used that a lot.”

Garm turned and marched off as I kept punishing my food. I heard a distant crash.

“Where the hell are your lights?” Garm yelled.

“I don’t know.”

She came back maybe fifteen minutes later, because I had finished pulping a whole new meal.

She held what was obviously my City Council contract, recognizable because of its size.

“Damn, you make a lot parking on holidays,” she said.

“I know. I asked Cliston to find all the holidays so I could start parking on them but he left and my car got impounded.”

“How can you make sense of this contract?” Garm asked.

“I can’t. Cliston could, apparently.”

“I found this other one, but it’s just a sentence and it’s not signed.”

“That sounds like him. What’s it say?”

“It says, ‘Ensure ship LOSY3’s objectives aren’t met and they aren’t a disturbance in the future.’”

I stopped pounding my already-pounded food.

“That’s definitely him. Who or what is on LOSY3?” I asked.

Garm looked anxious.

“It’s in Housing District. That’s the Olmarr Republic base ship. This could be tricky.”

Sitting here across from Garm, watching her engage in underhanded machinations—not directed against me—I remembered why I was so attracted to her.

It wasn’t just that she was insanely hot. There were plenty of attractive women. But she was competent. And dangerous. And energetic.

She was like an electric sword tossed high into the air above your head. Your pulse quickened and your instinct was to run for cover, but it was also a thrill to watch.

It was then I also remembered there were two side effects to this soup.

When I stood up and found myself kissing Garm, she was at least as surprised as I was.

CHAPTER 39

This wasn’t going to turn out well.

I didn’t mean the Olmarr Republic, though that probably wasn’t going to turn out well, either.

Sleeping with Garm and her granddaughter just seemed beyond foolish the next morning. Suicidal, really.

Garm was of course long gone, slunk off in the night to avoid the awkward awakening.

There was nothing so rational in the universe as a man who has just been satisfied. So as I sat in bed, all rational and such, I began contemplating how Garm would likely kill me.

I could probably duck out to one of the Sectors and lay low. But she had the Quadrad resources at her back. It would probably take them fifteen minutes to find me. I didn’t have a lot of expertise hiding. I mostly looked for people.

Had last night been worth it? I barely remembered it now. Hardly seemed worth my life.

That soup was definitely no good. Nothing of value came from using it. Sure, my spine was functioning, but for how long?

And what would Malla do? I mean, she wasn’t a killer like her grandma, presumably. But she was rich. You could do an awful lot with money. She could drop a sack filled with a billion credits on me and I’d suffocate.

But I couldn’t worry about all that now. I had to just assume they didn’t know and wouldn’t know about each other. How often do grandparents and grandchildren swap info on their sexual partners? It seemed a sleazy subject to bring up at family dinners.

I had to work on Maris-To’s assignment. He was richer than both of them combined and he didn’t exactly strike me as a forgiving guy.

He was more the kind of guy who was City Councilman of my home in addition to controlling ninety-nine and 5/4th solar systems or whatever.

The Olmarr Republic. Man, I hadn’t heard about them in a while.

They had been a big deal some time ago. They were basically a group of people who believed in racial purity. They took as their model the precursor to the Colmarian Confederation, which had been called the Olmarr Republic.

This was all nonsense of course.

The Colmarian Confederation was long gone. The Olmarr Republic was thousands and thousands of years gone and its composition could only roughly be guessed at.

The whole galaxy was turned upside down and we were in survival mode. I felt you couldn’t really get picky about your neighbors or where your bread was coming from when we were all lucky to be alive.

I went out and bought a new tele. I had to stand in long lines with lots of servants to try and get it registered with the tele company, but I took out my Gravitonic gun and demanded faster service. There was a slight worry they might call the Central Authority on me, but I had been bailed out of jail twice now and guessed nothing would happen unless I really started raising hell.

I also bought some flashlights so I could get around my house.

Back at my place, I called up Rendrae and asked if he could come over.

He showed up about three minutes later.

“Were you sitting outside or something?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“We’ve been trailing you ever since Ray’Ziel was murdered,” he said.

“I didn’t do it!” I said, exasperated.

“I didn’t say you did. But the Central Authority started trailing you after the murder, so we did too. Besides, news tends to happen around you. I mean, it hasn’t in years, but you got to admit, you have a long history of big stories. What happened to your house? Is this because Cliston left?”

“No. Let’s go in the other room and sit down. Take a flashlight.”

We walked into one of the rooms that still had chairs.

Rendrae was, despite his very advanced age, quite energetic. Colmarians don’t really have a set middle age or advanced age. We were 50,000 species all cobbled together. I wasn’t sure what Rendrae was, he had kind of greenish skin, he looked to resemble a 450-pound sphere, and he dressed like a hobo. But he hadn’t slowed down one bit in the centuries I’d known him.

“So I’ll swap some information with you,” I proposed. “News for news.”

“What are you offering?”

“Nearly anything I know that won’t get me killed.”

“What do you need to know?”

“The Olmarr Republic. Specifically ship LOSY3 and…I guess what their main objectives are.”

“You probably know all about them. They’re the same group you dealt with as Supreme Kommilaire.”

“Yeah, but that was a long time ago. I’m sure they’ve changed some. And I forgot most of it. I have a refurbished brain. What I remember is they hate everyone who isn’t part of the original Olmarr Republican space.”

“No, they dropped that,” Rendrae said.

“Really? How? I mean, it’s in their name.”

Rendrae shrugged his round shoulders.

“They wouldn’t have any members if they kept that same policy. They’re actually quite an influential group out in Housing Sector.”

“What do they offer?”

“They’ve basically become a giant labor union of all the…well, poor people. They bulk negotiate for Housing rates, Manufacturing jobs, Food costs.”

“Wow. And they get results? Anything with Trade or Education?” I asked.

“They have, I would guess, in the low millions of members. If they can get all those people to vote the same way, that’s a lot of ballots. As for Trade, I don’t think those guys care what anyone does or says. Except maybe the Ank. Education was aligned with the Olmarr before Ray’Ziel died. Maybe still are.”

“Wait. Wait. Aligned how?”

“Not in a huge way. But Ray’Ziel wanted a limit on immigration. So does the Olmarr Republic.”

“So they are still xenophobic,” I said.

“No, it’s because if all those new people come, the Olmarr won’t have nearly as much power. Think about it, if there are millions in the Olmarr and billions of new citizens rush in, who’s going to care about the little Olmarr Republic? They will lose their leverage, especially if all those new people are desperate for jobs and food and housing.”

“Hmm,” I pondered.

“So are you dating Malla or Garm?” Rendrae asked. “You know they are granddaughter and grandmother, right?”

“I’m not dating either. And yes, I know. Come on, are you a tabloid journalist or a serious journalist?” I parried.

“It’s serious for you. Alright then, who killed Ray’Ziel?”

“I don’t have a clue. I’m actually looking for him right now.”

“Yeah, we all know that. That’s why you’re asking about the Olmarr Republic, who was as friendly to Ray’Ziel as anyone.”

“Well, I’m not looking for the killer right now. But I’m getting to it.”

“Are you working for Maris-To?” Rendrae asked.

I paused.

“You can’t print that,” I said.

“Sure I can.”

“He might kill you if you do.”

“You know me, I’ve never been afraid of a little controversy.”

“I work for a lot of upscale clients,” I said.

“No, you don’t. Which is why I haven’t been following you in a long time. Now all of a sudden you got City Councilmen beating on your door,” he said.

“I’m good at what I do.”

“If memory serves me, ‘what you do’ mostly involves a lot of violence.”

“I was a negotiator,” I huffed.

“I was there for it all, Hank. I remember your ‘negotiations.’”

“I can’t give out a client list, you know that, Rendrae.”

“So what do you want with the Olmarr?” he pushed.

“Come on, ask something I can answer.”

“Ugh. Who is going to take Ray’Ziel’s place? You have to have some idea with the recent circles you’ve been in.”

“I don’t think anyone is going to take over. I think Education is going to die as a Sector and District. Maybe get split by the others or taken over by the entire City Council. No one wanted it. It didn’t exactly make money. No one wants to live or work there.”

“Do you think Ray’Ziel may have been killed to make that happen?” he asked.

“I don’t know. But if I had to guess, that reason would be pretty high up there.”

Rendrae scratched his many chins as he scrutinized me. He had his flashlight shining on my face.

“Okay, I think that’s a fair trade. It gives me something to research. Can I quote you?” he asked.

“No.”

“Well, I am.”

CHAPTER 40

If I understood Maris-To’s job, it was to convince the Olmarr Republic to embrace immigration.

It made sense that Maris-To would want to get all the new immigrants immigrated. He was the head chief of Food. I’m guessing all those people had to eat.

The Olmarr Republic was against it, but they had lost their champion in Ray’Ziel.

I called around and chatted with some of my old contacts and looked up newspaper articles and read forums. It seemed the Olmarr were still exerting pressure over other City Councilmen. Maybe even the Governor. The size of the Olmarr’s voting block meant they still had influence even if Ray’Ziel was gone.

So it was just a matter of convincing the millions of Olmarr to give up their claim to power and maybe even thrust them deeper into poverty.

I had six concussion grenades, my Gravitonic gun, a suit that I couldn’t fit into correctly, three holes where teeth used to be, and 938 credits in my pocket. Word had it there was anywhere from fifteen to thirty thousand people on the Olmarr ship.

I would not be negotiating from a strong position.

I decided to call Zzzho to fly me to LOSY3. He had kept his mouth, or gas, shut about our previous rides and he had given me some good information. Besides, he was a solid cabbie to have on speed dial since he was working all the time. Maybe I could get a discount.

I didn’t invite Garm. Her style of negotiation usually involved lots of threats backed with force. Which worked a lot of the time, but not when you were outnumbered by orders of magnitude.

This was just a preliminary meeting where I would feel out what they wanted and what, if anything, I might offer. I suspected I would have to go back to Maris-To and get some bargaining chips. If I was told to turn up the heat, then I might ask Garm for help.

I was pretty certain Maris-To didn’t expect me to beat up the entire Olmarr Republic by myself.

Zzzho docked with Belvaille. His cab was just as dilapidated as ever and I kind of regretted calling him. Space wasn’t something you wanted to navigate on a budget.

Nevertheless, I strapped myself in.

“We’re not going to lose control again and go crashing into a frigate, right?” I asked.

“I told you that’s impossible. We’ve had space flight for like a hundred thousand years. We’re pretty good at it.”

“We haven’t had anything for a hundred thousand years. You made that up. Anyway, take me to LOSY3 in Housing Sector.”

“Business or pleasure? Or should I not talk?” he buzzed through his speakers.

“Do you know the ship?” I asked.

“Busy. Lot of fares come from it,” he replied.

“Any go to it?”

“Of course. It’s pretty crowded I’ve been told, but what else is new in Housing Sector?”

“You know who calls it home?”

“Olmarr, right? Labor union or something. They don’t talk to me much. I don’t think they like non-Colmarians.”

Hmm. I wondered if they were still racists, or would that be species-ists?

“Do you have anything else on them?” I asked hopefully.

“They don’t tip well.”

It was a quiet flight to the ship. Took nearly four hours. The cab was capable of getting there much faster, but the Central Authority had strict speed limits, especially on smaller craft.

As we wove between the countless ships in Housing Sector, I thought back to my illustrious adventure with the Master Machinists in Tech.

Those were a bunch of myopic old slobs and I still barely managed to get off that ship with my life. This wasn’t Belvaille, I was in deep space.

“Hey, can you wait at the dock for me?” I asked. “I’ll pay you.”

“Wait? Most of these ships only have one or two berths with one emergency back-up. It’s not like they’re Belvaille that can service hundreds of ships and giant freighters. If they tell me to move because someone else is coming, I have to move.”

“Well, could you fly around in circles and re-dock if someone pushes you off?”

“You going to need a quick getaway? I don’t want any trouble,” he said. “I’m a taxi cab not a destroyer.”

“Nah, shouldn’t be a problem. I just want to be careful.”

“How long are you going to be?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Less time than it took to get here,” I said.

“Alright, but I’m not going to fly in circles. That would be pointless. I’ll just park outside the safety zone and save fuel.”

We rounded on the ship and it seemed dark.

“Where are the windows? Where are the lights?” I asked, wondering if I was going to be thrown into a smelter instead.

“Not every ship was a luxury liner. Plenty of ships in Housing were converted from some other task. This was an old short-range transport hauler. They must have disassembled it and put it back together in Belvaille System. Its engines aren’t exactly designed for crossing the galaxy.”

I thought it would suck living in a dark ship, but then I realized I lived on a space station that had fake lighting. The only time I ever saw the stars was when I went flying in the Sectors.

At this point in my life stars weren’t too impressive. Maybe seeing a star close up would be something. But who wants to see a star close up? I mean, I know what “bright” looks like.

LOSY3 only had four berths and one emergency, which was under repair. How did they move around 30,000 people with just four small ship ports? If they had a major malfunction, everyone on this vessel would die.

I had teled ahead that I was coming and asked for a meeting with the most senior person I could find.

I was met by Junior Assistant Baur Godane.

Baur Godane was a kid. I don’t know how old, but he was clearly not a person of importance.

“There has to be someone other than you,” I said.

“All our other representatives are busy at this time. I’d be happy to convey any messages you have,” he said in a nasally, prepubescent voice.

“There’s like 40,000 people on this boat and you’re the only one that’s got a mouth?” I grabbed him by his lower jaw. “Have you even lost your baby teeth yet? What is this?”

He tried to talk but I was smushing his face.

I grumbled something and stormed off to find someone with authority.

I walked a few hallways and saw the ship was crammed full of thin sheet metal welded together and absolutely stuffed full of sleeping bays. The individual rooms couldn’t be more than 40 square feet each.

Where did they go to the bathroom?

After maybe a half-hour of stomping around in a fury, I realized I wasn’t doing anything except getting tired.

They had obviously pawned me off on that kid because they didn’t want to talk to me or didn’t think I was important.

So how could I make myself important?

I tried talking to the many people I was literally running into. It didn’t work. They could tell I was an outsider and got tight-lipped.

The ship was crammed and people were constantly coming and going. They wore all kinds of different uniforms and heraldry for whatever jobs they had.

But as I watched, I could see a definite pattern and regularity to their actions. A ship this crowded had to have a kind of protocol for getting around or foot traffic would come to a halt. When you’re shoulder-to-shoulder every minute of the day, you have to be pretty organized or nothing gets done.

I watched and learned.

I got into the proper lanes of the hallways, nodded correctly, turned, ducked, and stepped like I was supposed to.

And when I got the chance, I spoke to the fellow behind me.

“Hey, friend, which way to the engines? They told me my bunk was near there. I’m meeting my roommate,” I said.

“You’re in the wrong wing. Go forward to orange, right until you see red, then left all the way to blue. You’ll have to go down a bunch of stairs,” he said.

“Thanks.”

I hadn’t noticed all the colored lines at the top of the hall until he mentioned them.

I followed like he said, asking for directions a few more times.

Through about a dozen Do Not Enter and Maintenance Only doors I finally found what I assumed was an engine. Or part of an engine.

How the hell should I know?

It could be a spaceship headlight and it would be the same to me.

It was massive of course.

My original plan was that I was going to force the Olmarr leaders to respond by beating up a short-range transport hauler engine. Like that’s something I could do with my fists. Just punch a spaceship square in the engine.

“Take that, you 50,000-people-mover.”

I slapped the engine halfheartedly. It, surprisingly, didn’t seem to notice.

Alright, well, this was a waste.

I paced around for maybe fifteen minutes. Then sat down and took off my shoes and rubbed my feet. I guess I could start moving their beds into the hallways. It wouldn’t take much for people to get annoyed and finally ask me what my problem was. Or I could bang pots and pans together.

As I was thinking up equally fantastical plans, the door to the engine room opened and a half-dozen men with submachine guns rushed in.

They stared at me and I stared at them.

Did they actually notice me slapping a starship engine? I looked down at my socks. Did they smell my feet?

They had their guns pointed at me but seemed unsure what to do, like I was going to throw my shoes at them at any moment.

“Uh. Hi,” I said.

“What are you doing here?” one asked.

“Nothing,” I said stupidly. “Oh, wait. I want to talk to someone from the Olmarr Republic.”

“We’re from the Olmarr Association,” another said.

“Whatever. Is there anyone higher ranking I can speak to? Like who doesn’t carry a gun and wear a jumpsuit?” I asked.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Hank.” I said it like it meant something. It clearly meant less than something to them.

I remember when my name actually carried weight. Just one syllable. Hank. Like a stop sign. Now I might as well have dashes and hyphens and twelve syllables and some swirls. Maybe people would remember that.

“Why are your shoes off?” one asked suspiciously.

“Why are yours on? Conformist.”

“Look, smart guy—” a guard started.

I stood up with a grunt.

“Hey, just shoot me,” I said.

“What?”

“Seriously, just shoot me.” I held out my arms as if to embrace the bullets.

They all looked at each other, worried. Why was this shoeless guy trying to commit suicide in the engine room?

“Hey, I know you!” One blurted.

“Finally,” I said.

“You’re that guy dating Ray’Ziel’s wife, right?”

CHAPTER 41

Sure, I was dating Malla.

If it got me a meeting with the big shots I’d say I was double dating with Wallow and Delovoa.

The Olmarr officials had an office in Education District on Belvaille.

Figures they were on the space station. No one important would be on this windowless suck ship with rooms so small you couldn’t pull up your pants without hitting your head on the opposite wall.

I shared Zzzho’s cab with two guards as we headed back to Belvaille. I wasn’t sure why they were coming. Maybe so I wouldn’t get lost?

I hoped they would pay the cab fare but they exited without a word, leaving it to me.

“Good luck,” Zzzho said, as he disembarked.

I had to buy a limo ride to the Olmarr office as well.

The building was in the far southwest corner of the city. It wasn’t a great structure, but it was on Belvaille, so by definition it was still pretty good.

This was more like it!

I was sitting in a large meeting room eating quality food and drinking quality booze.

Instead of pimply assistants, I was dining with the Vice Director of Arbitration and Senior Attorney.

These guys really liked Ray’Ziel. They still wore his heraldry. All it took was saying I was sexing his wife and I suddenly got the royal treatment. No idea why. It’s not as if being her gigolo would get me his City Council seat.

There were about a dozen people in the room, but it was just the two who were important. They weren’t eating or drinking. That was a weird thing rich people did. They just sat around refreshments. Like they were decorations or something. If food was put in front of me, I was going to eat it.

“We take it you visited one of our ships?” the Attorney asked.

“Myeah,” I said with my mouth full.

The food was actually really good. Since Cliston left, I had been missing out on proper meals.

I hoped they would let me finish before starting the meeting but I could see everyone getting antsy.

“What can we do for you?” the Director asked.

I held up a hand to indicate I was still chewing then took a big swig of wine.

“Ah. Right. So how do you guys feel about immigration? In general.”

“I think we’ve made our position quite clear on it,” the Attorney said firmly.

“But in a word. Or two words. How would you characterize your views?”

They looked at me like I was wasting their time and wasting their money by eating their food.

“Strongly opposed,” he said.

“Hmm. What incentives might be…incentivized your way to make you change your minds?”

“Nothing,” the Director said.

“Oh, come on. If I offered you a million trillion credits you’d change your opinions.”

“But you don’t have a million trillion credits. That is absurd,” the Attorney sneered.

“Not on me,” I joked, but no one smiled. “Come on, there has to be something you all are collectively shooting for.”

“Stopping immigration,” the Director said.

I took a few more bites of food before it got cold and before they kicked me out.

“You know, I’m in your big book,” I said, grasping.

“Our what?” the Attorney asked.

“Your big book. Starts with an ‘N.’ Um, like solar systems long. Has all the history of the Olmarr Republics. My name is in it,” I said proudly.

“We are the Olmarr Association. Do you even have the right group?” the Attorney asked.

“I guess you don’t use it anymore. So you guys were working with Ray’Ziel to stop immigration?”

“Among other things. Our members need training and education,” the Director stated.

“Sure. Who doesn’t?” I said.

But I didn’t have anything to add after that so I ate some more.

“Hank, is there anything we can help you with? We are quite busy,” the Director said, clearly tired of me.

“It’s not what you can help me with, it’s what I can help you with,” I said as confidently as possible.

They were not impressed.

The Attorney was already taking out his tele and the Director had both hands on the table and was about to stand up. A reprieve came when there was a quick knock at the door. The Director seemed relieved to have a distraction as well.

“Come in,” he said.

I was thinking how I could salvage this. Didn’t I used to be really good at negotiations?

“Sir, we thought they might have similar agendas,” a voice behind me said.

“I can’t see how,” the Attorney said disparagingly.

Two men walked to my right and I was so lost in thought I barely noticed. But when I turned, I gawked.

It was the two bald Dredel Led, mutant, whatever guys who kept beating me up.

They saw me too and stared.

“Brother. Did Maris-To send you?” one of them asked me.

I think my faulty brain misfired at that question.

“Huh?” I asked.

The two men looked at each other and nodded, as if I had confirmed something with my grunt.

They reached into their jackets and took out small canisters, shook them, and started drinking.

“What is this, a diner?” the Attorney asked, looking at the men and then the pile of empty bowls in front of me.

When the bald men were done, they dropped the canisters on the ground and stood there with their eyes closed, concentrating.

And I thought my negotiating skills were bad.

After maybe thirty seconds of holding that pose and everyone in the room gaping at them, the bald men suddenly opened their eyes wide.

And began screaming.

One of them took hold of the large meeting table with both hands and flung it like it was a paper plate. It knocked a half-dozen people over. Not sure if it killed them but it damn sure didn’t correct their postures.

The other man swung out both fists at the same time. A fighting move I had never seen in my life because it was preposterous.

But he caught two different guys in the face and they went flying backwards, bounced off the walls, and still had enough momentum to roll a good five feet after they landed!

I was sitting there in my chair, my napkin on my lap, the table gone, and my mouth hanging open. They had both stopped screaming but they didn’t look any less scary.

“Which way now, brother?” one of them asked me.

It was the most non non sequitur I can recall experiencing. It was so odd I began to question everything. Were these guys really my brothers? We did kind of look alike.

As they stood waiting for me, a few people in the room stirred and one of the bald men absently kicked the Olmarr senseless.

I finally snapped out of it. Sort of.

“Uh—” I began.

“Door,” one of them said.

Again, it was such a bizarre response I just sat there. Were they saying random words now?

Some machinegun fire erupted behind me, hitting me in the back and I realized he meant that there was someone at the meeting room door.

Presumably someone with a gun shooting me in the back.

I slowly turned around to see who it was, but didn’t stand up. I was afraid it would be like, a little baby rabbit, painted orange, in a wheelchair, and I’d need to sit down again.

But it was just some guards.

As I was relieved that I was merely being shot by normal Colmarians, from my periphery I saw a bright blue light. I heard a roar that set my remaining teeth chattering and my bones aching.

Then I was blinded by blueness.

When my vision finally cleared one of the bald men had pulled me to my feet and was trying to urge me onward out of the meeting room.

I could see the Ontakian plasma weapon they used had melted a hole halfway through the office building. Room after room was exposed from the blast.

No one was firing machineguns any longer.

“Let’s get the rest,” one of the bald men said to me.

“The what? Who are you guys? Seriously,” I asked.

“We are one of you,” he said.

“One of me? Are you mutants? Do you work for the City Council? Are you dating Malla?”

The two men scrutinized me a moment and then said something to each other in a language I didn’t understand.

And then they jogged away.

“Hey!”

I pursued them. I was doing my best to keep up as we rounded corners and I couldn’t help but think how stupid it was for me to be following. They had a plasma weapon. Each of them could kick my ass. If they didn’t want to talk to me, they weren’t going to talk to me. What was I going to do, offer them the rest of my teeth in homage?

I kept going and going.

I took a few wrong turns and ran into some of the Olmarr guards who promptly shot at me. I didn’t bother to explain that my “brothers” and I weren’t the same.

I tossed a concussion grenade to clear them out.

I found myself back in the main lobby of the building where the elevator banks were. The two bald men were there against the wall, crouched down.

It was pretty obvious to me they were rigging a rather large amount of explosives.

“Hi,” I said, not sure how else to begin.

They acknowledged my presence, but otherwise ignored me and continued their work.

“So. Are we really brothers? I didn’t know my family that well. Cousins, maybe?”

Silence.

“Are you guys working for Maris-To? He probably should have told me. I’m going to guess it will be harder to negotiate with the Olmarr after this. I mean, I could be wrong.”

Silence.

“Did you guys kill Ray’Ziel? It’s not that I mind. I got a good job because of it.”

They were still working and I decided I didn’t want to get blown up so I needed to do something. I had been across the street from maybe one of their bombs and it was enough to not want a repeat.

I turned on my Gravitonic gun, put it on full power, and fired.

One of the men crouched flush to the floor and one of them did a backflip.

Neither was hit.

The croucher went back to working on the bomb and the one who did the backflip finally turned to me. And began walking forward.

If I had to describe his expression, it would be: unhappy.

I had three minutes for my gun to recharge and they were too fast to hit anyway. I was in for a face-kicking and potentially fatal bombing.

I took out two concussion grenades, primed them, and put them under half of my foot with the open side facing the approaching man. I covered and braced myself.

When the grenades exploded, they knocked me on my side as I expected. It did nothing to my brother, but it tore up a section of the cheap tile floor, turning it into a fine dust.

His bulging, maniac eyes had been filled with ash and he was wiping his face to try and restore his vision as I ran through the front door and pumped my way down the street.

I made it about three blocks before I was suddenly thrown to the ground.

Boom!

I turned back and the Olmarr building was nearly gone! Just flames and twisted metal remained.

The size of that explosion was tremendous. It had even damaged nearby buildings.

If those guys were my brothers, I didn’t think I was going to survive much more of this sibling rivalry.

CHAPTER 42

My office had a stocked liquor cabinet and lights I knew how to use, so I’d been hanging out there for the last few days. Thinking and drinking.

Not necessarily in that order.

I felt I deserved a few days off. Not for my accomplishments, but because I needed to rest up before I attempted to botch any other assignments.

Maris-To had wanted me to try and work with the Olmarr and get them to withdraw their pressure about immigration. From what I could tell, most of their leaders had been exploded. That still left millions of members capable of voting and picketing and boycotting. And they were probably a bit more inclined to do so since we just blew up their home office.

And when I say “we” I meant me and my brothers.

If I hadn’t gone to visit that damn ship in Housing Sector, no one would have even known I was at the headquarters when it was bombed. It would have just been another building-blowing-upping that I had nothing to do with, because all the witnesses were dead or on life support.

But no, I had stomped around their ship punching engines and declaring who I was. I even got them to escort me to Belvaille in a taxi. So they didn’t even know about my brothers. They probably thought I did it.

I was trying to get a good buzz on because I knew either the Olmarr would come looking for retribution or MTB would come arrest me. I mean, he could finally be certain I killed Ray’Ziel just like I had killed his supporters. With a big bomb.

If I survived this next bit, whatever that bit might be, I promised I was done.

I’d tell the City Council I found religion and couldn’t continue their hunt, I’d tell Garm I had slept with her granddaughter and she’d smack me around a while and then leave me alone, and I’d tell Maris-To I didn’t need the support of two hundred and forty-three and 3/3rd systems. I’d go back to finding lost teenagers and intimidating shop clerks.

My taxes were paid. I didn’t need the money. I was a simple man. I didn’t need this hassle. It wasn’t worth the risk.

I just wasn’t sure what my situation was with—

“Hank!” Malla said, entering my office.

I had been getting massaged in Maris-To’s amazing chair.

Malla swooped in wearing a bright blue evening gown. I think it trailed ten feet behind her. It didn’t show off her body so much as her wealth, since it was encrusted with what looked like thousands of gems.

I turned the chair up to full blast, hoping it would shake me into unconsciousness or maybe a higher state of reality. I was splashing my drink all over myself and didn’t really care.

“What are you doing?” she asked with a big smile, her hands on her bejeweled hips.

“I’m not doing anything,” I said.

“I’m going out surging. I want you to come,” she said.

I didn’t want to, but I realized that hanging out with Malla was better than hanging out with the Olmarr or Maris-To or MTB. I mean, yeah, she might be a killer. But I knew those other guys were bad news.

“When?” I asked.

“Now, silly.”

I reluctantly got up from my chair. It felt like all my blood had been replaced with hydrogen. I was almost bouncy. Then I took a step and fell down.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“I think you’re only supposed to sit in those chairs for a few hours,” I explained as I tried to reposition my legs with my hands.

“How long have you been using it?”

“Couple days. But I took bathroom breaks.”

She smiled and stood over me.

“Have you ever been surging?” she asked.

“I’ve heard of it. But no. That’s the zero gravity thing, right?”

“Yes. We can rent you a suit, though you will be hard to fit. It’s great fun.”

Great fun. Right.

Surging was an absurd rich person thing. There was one resort on the station and a half-dozen off-station.

To start, you were transported to the top of an enormous structure. You were then cut loose in almost zero gravity.

Your job was to get to the bottom of the building. It was a large, hollowed-out structure. Maybe 75-stories tall, about as tall as City Hall, but without floors or interior. And yes, there were still walls. They were padded somewhat, but they weren’t exactly pillows.

You used jets built into the suit you wore and that you carried in your hands and on your feet.

If that wasn’t insane enough, they couldn’t just let you go straight down. No, that would be too easy. They had a hundred other people going at the same time. And they had all kinds of obstacles in the way. They also had varying patches of air, and mist, and lesser or more gravity.

It was absolute madness.

Standing with Malla, I watched people for a good thirty minutes. Somehow everyone else looked a lot better in their surging outfits. They looked stylish and graceful. I looked like a brick wall about to be pushed off a building.

“There is no way I’m doing this,” I said.

“Come on, Hank. It’s amazing. It really gets your heart pumping.”

“My heart pumps too much as it is. Do I look like I’m cut out for this sport?” I said, indicating the boxy suit. “I’m 400 years old and two thousand pounds.”

“You don’t have to go fast. Stay along this quadrant, that’s the easiest path,” Malla said, showing me with her arm.

“What’s a quadrant? I got two legs and two feet. I should be walking on ground. This isn’t natural.”

“You’re being a big baby,” she chastised. “These thrusters control all your right side, these are left. These are your torso. These are your arms. These are your legs. These are your shoulders and hips, but don’t worry about those now.”

It was too many buttons. I test-fired a few and people behind me shouted as I blasted them with exhaust.

“I’ll be beside you, come on,” Malla said, and she hopped off the platform and turned gracefully to face me, absolutely nothing under her for more than 1000 feet.

If anyone wanted to kill me, this would be an easy way of doing it.

I stepped off with just one foot as my brain screamed at me that this was wrong.

There was no purchase, no lift, no anything!

So I fell forward and floated on my stomach.

I began to slowly cartwheel past Malla who was laughing at me.

I knew I had controls but I was flipping through the air. How did anyone consider this enjoyable?

I squeezed this and that thruster hoping they would magically help, but I just began to spin faster.

“Stop, Hank.” She zipped over, steadied me, and used her own thrusters to get me standing straight up. “See, that’s not so hard,” she smiled.

“I want to go back.”

“You’ve gone fifteen feet. And not even downward,” she said.

“So?”

I made the mistake of looking toward the ground.

It was far. Really really far. And some sadist had put junk floating all the way down.

“I thought you were supposed to be some brave hero,” she teased.

“Okay. Which control do I press to get me down there?” I asked.

“You don’t use just one. Even over here you will get buffeted and you’ll need to balance.”

I tested a few rockets again. But I found some controls I liked. The sticks-things in my hands were pretty straightforward. They shot out of the bottom. So if I pointed those behind me I could move downward.

I heard Malla laughing again after a while.

“That’s not how you do it,” she said, coming up beside me.

“I’m moving, aren’t I?” I said.

“Those are just for corrections. You’ll go a lot faster with your legs and elbows.”

“I don’t want to go faster!”

“It’s going to take you three hours to reach the ground.”

“So? Does the ground have an appointment? Am I holding it up?”

“Just try it. The buttons on the inside, there,” she pointed.

I reluctantly hit them and immediately felt a little jolt of acceleration. But then I began drifting to the wall.

“Now use your batons,” she said.

I used the things in my hands and got myself relatively straight again.

I looked up and saw I had maybe descended twenty feet from my starting point and I was already tired.

“Just push me,” I said.

“No, come on, it will be great.”

“I think we have different ideas of great. Crushing my toes with a flaming, spiked hammer is great. This is not.”

“Well, you can call the Rescue Floppers,” she said dejectedly. “They can tug you to the bottom.”

The way she said it made it clear it would be an embarrassing experience.

“I’ll go,” I resolved, deciding to just get this over with.

I laid into the jets and began zipping down.

“That’s it!” Malla said, as if she was encouraging a child’s first steps.

This wasn’t too hard. Just full blast ahead.

I was really flying now. I could finally see how this might be viewed as entertainment. I even began passing some of the more advanced surgers who were in the middle of the building. Of course, they were all zipping back and forth, dodging traffic and obstacles and I was just going in a straight line.

“Slow down, Hank!” I heard Malla yell from behind me. She sounded far away.

But I wanted this ended and I wanted to get back to gravity and the lounge.

Things were going fine until I slowly started to see myself spin again. I tried to use my batons but they didn’t help.

I was careening toward the wall, this time at a much higher speed.

There weren’t any brakes. You had to countersteer. But that involved physics. Or geometry. Or some kind of science or math that I never took in school or at least didn’t remember taking.

I panicked and pressed some of the other buttons. My reasoning was that if the ones I was using were sending me to the wall, the others had to be better.

But what happened was I ended up twirling like a discus across the entire plane of the course.

I hit one of the obstacles and heard cursing. I either hit people or people hit me. It didn’t matter because I was a lot heavier.

I’m pretty sure I ran into the wall.

Hit a few more things.

Threw up.

I managed to grab hold of one of the obstacles as my twirling slowed down. The metal ball crunched beneath my death grasp.

Looking up there was an avalanche of bodies, some of their gear smashed, some spinning wildly. I still had half of the course to go.

But the authorities decided it was in everyone’s best interest to get me out of here immediately.

The Rescue Floppers were a first aid group that was supposed to help people who had been seriously injured. There were a whole lot of injuries on the course judging by the moans, but they didn’t want to risk me attempting to go down again, so they took me first.

They strapped me to a bed and hauled me down.

I didn’t feel amazingly bad for all the people I bowled over. It served them right for being involved in such a ludicrous activity.

CHAPTER 43

When we reached the bottom and went to the adjacent building where everyone relaxed pre- and post-surge, I found a whole lot of nobles angry at my weightless escapades.

I even overheard someone say that I must have done it intentionally.

As if I couldn’t find a better way to attack people. No, I was some kind of show-off and had to go to zero gravity and collide with my targets. Vomiting was also clearly part of my master plan.

The resort officials were about to ban me from the surging community forever, which was fine, when Malla walked over.

“Excellent surging, Hank,” she said without sarcasm.

Everyone, including myself, stared at her, waiting for the joke.

“It’s too bad that the course wasn’t designed for your skill level,” she continued.

I paused.

“Yes,” I answered without any inflection at all. I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to sound angry or sad. Like I was too amazing or too unamazing. So I just agreed.

“I’m sorry,” the official said, “I didn’t realize he was a guest of yours.”

Maris-To walked over wearing a surging outfit. Though most outfits provided a helmet, Maris-To kept his signature hair uncovered.

“Actually, he’s a guest of mine,” Maris-To said.

“Actually, if no one objects, I’d like to consider Hank my guest,” the Governor said, seemingly stepping out of nowhere. He was dressed as the Governor. And it hit you in the face that he was not a person relaxing or lounging or pretending to relax or lounge.

The official who was about to order me out of the building now looked ready to reach down his windpipe, pull out his lungs, and offer them to me.

Not sure what I’d do with them, though.

Maris-To gave a weak smile to the Governor and left.

Malla gave a weak smile to me and left.

I gave the Governor a weak smile.

We sat in the VIP section of the VIP section with Central Authority guards arranged at a discreet distance. We were as inconspicuous as a black eye on a bride at her wedding.

“The Olmarr Association,” the Governor stated, tapping his crinkly fingers together in front of his face.

“Ol…marr?” I asked, as if I could barely pronounce the word.

“Yes, the organization you visited two days ago.”

“Oh, them. What about ’em?”

I sat there as innocently as possible, my gap-toothed smile as impermeable as my virtue.

“You were seen entering their headquarters shortly before it was destroyed.”

I didn’t really know anything I could say to that so I just sat there.

“Well?” he asked.

“Well, what?”

“Explain your involvement.”

“Involvement in what?” I asked.

Man, my negotiation skills really had deteriorated. I was one step above crossing my arms and stomping my feet.

“You realize I can have you killed at any moment,” the Governor said. He didn’t yell it, he didn’t accentuate it, he just stated it like the boring fact it was.

“Is that going to help you find Ray’Ziel’s murderer?” I asked.

“At this point I’m kind of wondering if it will in fact help,” he said, not making me feel very secure.

“I didn’t kill the Olmarr. It was a coincidence that I was there.”

“A rather large coincidence.”

“Well, I had to be somewhere, right? If I was buying shoes, it would be just as big a coincidence I was at the shoe store when the Olmarr blew up. Just not as interesting.”

“What are you talking about?” the Governor asked.

I thought a moment, not wanting to anger him any further.

“Two guys did it. Bald guys.”

The Governor was so old it was hard to judge his expressions. His skin was like paper and he had no hair. I tried to guess which area of his brain was being used based on his prominent veins.

“Bald. Guys,” he repeated slowly.

“Why would I care about the Olmarr?” I asked.

“Because Maris-To asked you to do it after he cancelled your tax debt and bailed you out of prison.”

Hmm.

“Well, yeah. He didn’t ask me to kill them, though.”

“I asked you to find Ray’Ziel’s killer. Don’t you recall that?”

“They could be related,” I said hopefully.

“What would lead you to believe they are related? And choose your words carefully, Hank,” he said with no small amount of doom.

“I saw the same guys after Ray’Ziel was killed. I even chased them. But they got away.”

The Governor seemed to seriously ponder that and I was relieved.

“And you knew these ‘bald men’ would be at the Olmarr Association?” he asked.

“I had a suspicion,” I said untruthfully.

“And what prompted this suspicion?”

“Just a hunch,” I said, wondering how many more synonyms I could throw. But before he could ask, I cut him off. “I’ve been doing this for 500 years. I got a feel for it.”

“This station hasn’t existed for that long.”

“Not physically,” I said ambiguously.

“How close are you to finding the culprit?” he asked pointedly.

“Close. Closer.”

“Is he in this room?”

That question kind of startled me and I looked around like I expected to spot someone standing in a black coat, with a mean expression, holding a bomb.

“Uh, I don’t know,” I said.

“Then how do you know you’re close to finding him if he may be in this very room?”

“I said closer.”

The Governor looked at me with his tired eyes.

“Do you need any assistance from my organization?”

“Yes! I need the Central Authority to leave me alone.”.

“I do not handle the day-to-day activities of the C.A.,” he said.

It was a ridiculous statement on his part and I was about to say so. I mean, he was the Governor. He could tell all the Central Officers to stand side-by-side while the city threw rotten fruit at them. But what he was really saying was the Central Authority were going to keep following me because he wanted them to.

“Well, I can’t think of much else,” I said.

The Governor slowly began to rise from the table.

“Wait. Sir. Where do you stand on the issue of immigration?” I asked.

“I was against it. But I can’t hold it off alone. Too many in the city want it now. It will likely pass soon.”

“What about the rest of the Olmarr? Only the leadership was killed, right? There’s millions.”

The Governor seemed especially weary.

“The new Board of the Olmarr Association is firmly pro-immigration. It’s a strange time for Belvaille politics. It seems if you can’t find one group to meet your demands, you just kill them and bribe the replacements. By the way, did you come here with Maris-To?” the Governor asked suspiciously.

“No, with Malla.”

“Malla? Do you think that’s wise?”

“Well, it’s part of my investigation process. I kind of narrow down the field of known and unknown and get as much information from the witnesses. I mean, she was Ray’Ziel’s wife and maybe has some clues,” I said, as if I knew what I was doing.

“No, I mean do you think it’s wise, because she’s a Quadrad.”

CHAPTER 44

“You look like a man who was just threatened by the Governor,” Delovoa said.

The Governor had left with his Central Officers and I was pondering what Malla being a Quadrad meant when I turned to see Delovoa walk up wearing what passed for a suit. His gut cart even had fancy trim on it. But it was still filled with floating organs, so no amount of glitter was going to make it look attractive.

Ziggy was with him as well, helping push the cart.

“How did you know?” I asked him.

“I have augmented my hearing,” he said, tapping a compartment on his cart.

“Besides eavesdropping, what are you doing here? You don’t strike me as a surger,” I said.

“No, I installed the effects lighting here,” he answered, pointing over his shoulder.

I began to follow his gesture.

“No, don’t look directly at it,” he cautioned. “I saw your surging exploits. Impressive.”

“You went to the other building to watch?” I asked.

“No, they broadcast your descent in here. That was bloodier than the last Glocken match I saw.”

“Surging is a dangerous sport. Hey, I saw those bald guys again,” I said.

“What bald guys?”

“The bald guys at Maris-To’s,” I said.

“Are you speaking in tongues? Did you hit your head coming down the surge?” he asked.

“Remember I got shot by a plasma weapon?”

“No, you didn’t,” he said, annoyed.

“Anyway, they’re the ones who shot me. Weren’t you listening to me tell this to the Governor?”

“I heard him threaten you, but then I started listening to people who were more interesting,” he said.

“Well, focus. The bald guys, who had the plasma weapon—”

“No, they didn’t,” Delovoa interrupted.

“They had something that melted through walls. Call it a candy gun, it doesn’t matter.”

“It matters a lot,” he said.

I ignored him.

“So they fired it again. Again melting through walls.”

“Lots of things can do that,” he interjected.

“And they drank some stuff and went crazy and beat up everyone.”

That finally seemed to get his attention.

“Yes,” I said for him, “just like Tamshius’ soup.”

“Hank’s Butt, it’s not soup,” he exclaimed. “Did you get a sample of it?”

“They blew up the building. So, no. It was not a good sample-taking environment.”

“They did that? I heard it all the way where I live.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t terribly far from your house. Olmarr Association.”

Delovoa stood concentrating and finally chuckled.

“What?” I asked.

“Hmm? Oh, nothing. Someone across the room just said a funny joke,” he answered.

I struggled to come up with my own exclamation.

“Delovoa’s…stinking…guts! Would you give me your opinion?”

Delovoa shrugged and answered as if it was obvious.

“Get a tele,” he said simply.

“And call whom?”

“No, a Colmarian Confederation tele. Tamshius left a data chip in that lab. It was addressed to you. It might have information.”

“So you can’t figure out what the formula does?”

“Yeah, I dumped it on your District and it made everyone sick. It only seems to make you crazy—and stronger and healthier. Maybe it does the same for your friends,” he explained.

“Where can I find a Colmarian Confederation tele?”

“I have one in here,” he said, patting his cart full of organs.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah. Here, reach in,” he said, and he lifted the lid on one of the compartments. Just like that. Exposing his spleen to the air and dust and whatever.

I gingerly walked forward.

“Wait a minute, you did this joke to me before,” I said.

He closed the lid with a smile.

“Ah, well, I guess you can teach a Hank a thing or two.”

CHAPTER 45

Colmarian teles had been given, free of charge, to every single citizen in the Confederation. So we should be up to our bellybuttons in them, right?

The problem was, once the Confederation was destroyed the teles became useless as devices. So people smashed their old teles apart for components and metals.

Not only that, but I had to find an unassigned tele—one that hadn’t been activated yet. Teles were unhackable once they were assigned to an individual. An assigned one wouldn’t be able to read the data chip.

It was a rare item indeed. Fortunately, it was also a nearly-worthless item.

“Two million credits,” Podiver Vance said.

Podiver Vance operated one of the best and most comprehensive stores in all of Belvaille. He had satellite trade kiosks that were all under his umbrella name of Vintage Vance Vagaries.

I had fallen right into this.

For the first three days I hoofed it around Belvaille, going from shop to shop personally, looking for that speck of dust in an ash pile that was an unassigned tele. Then I got the bright idea to put out word on my normal tele and post to the boards and hire some runners to make inquiries for me.

By the time I heard that there was an unassigned tele around, Vance had learned I was searching for it. Podiver Vance was a trader by profession. The best. I wasn’t going to out-haggle him.

I met him in his flagship store, a sprawling building whose bottom floor nearly matched that of Maris-To’s home. Though it was only a few stories high unlike the City Councilman’s monolith.

Vance was an extremely tall and thin man. He stood somewhere between eight and nine feet with arms seemingly as long as he was. With such sweeping appendages he was able to reach things on high shelves, low shelves, above you, behind you, use the cash register, and all but steal your wallet at the same time.

All that said, Vance was a good businessman. His products were solid, he was in the general orbit of fair, and despite claims to the contrary, he didn’t cheat people much. If he did, he simply wouldn’t be successful as a retailer, he’d be dead.

Vance wore simple shopkeeper clothes, stretched to ridiculous proportions. In fact, looking at him gave you the brief sensation that you were under the effects of some kind of hallucinogen. One that would leave you with a brand new mattress set at reasonable prices.

“Two million credits?” I asked him. “Is that a credit for each proton?”

“Not even close. I can sell by the proton if you like.”

“What are you going to do with a tele for a non-existent empire?” I asked.

“Sell it to you,” he said.

“I barely even want it. It’s not like a new liver.”

“That’s the ‘barely want’ price. I can also sell you a liver. Though we don’t do surgeries.”

We were standing over one of his display cases. A reinforced, force field activated, sensor-protected display case that had only one item inside: my tele. There was even ten feet of empty floor space around it so it stood out.

He knew I was coming.

So stupid. I should have sent someone else. I should have gotten someone else to post the want ad.

“I can’t afford two million credits. No one can.”

“You know that’s not true. Two million is a friend price.”

“Since when are we friends?” I grumbled.

“Then it’s an enemy price,” he shrugged happily, his giant arms sending gravity waves across the galaxy.

“But I’m the only one who wants it. You’ll never find another buyer. It’s a junky antique. We don’t need the parts anymore, we have a whole Make Sector who can spit out trillions of electronics,” I complained.

“Then go to them. Once you posted your interest, you made it a collectible,” he explained. “People have already contacted me about it. No one knew there was even such a thing as unassigned teles. It’s like Ank poop.”

I was momentarily distracted.

“Do Ank poop?” I asked.

I couldn’t imagine the sedate, austere, moneyed creatures squatting down and crapping. Especially since they always wore heavy robes and their arms didn’t work.

“Yeah, but not much. It’s like diamonds. Stockbrokers make luck talismans out of it.”

“Huh. Anyway, I’ve done jobs for you in the past. Cut me a break,” I begged.

“No, you haven’t. I asked you to do some jobs for me and you declined.”

Wow, I really did suck at negotiations now. Or maybe I was just getting too forgetful.

“Make a counter-offer,” he said.

I didn’t know how much money I had. I had found a safe at my house and I was raiding its cash for living expenses. Sooner or later I was going to have to knuckle down and contact Cliston to get my bank account information.

“Will you accept trades?” I asked weakly.

Vance clicked and locked and powered-on the safeguards that protected the case and then folded his enormous arms.

“Come back to me when you have a real offer. But don’t take too long, I might not have it anymore.”

CHAPTER 46

Two million.

I wasn’t sure how much money I had but I doubted it was millions. And it certainly wasn’t millions I was prepared to spend on a tele to listen to a data chip that would probably be Tamshius laughing at me.

No, I would steal the tele.

The only problem I saw was that I wasn’t a good thief.

I wasn’t even a bad thief.

I never really stole much of anything. Not like, breaking and entering stealing. I’ve stolen a lot of things after beating someone up or even killing them. But that’s armed robbery. Or grand theft. Or assault and petty theft. Those I was good at.

I couldn’t beat up his building and make it give me the tele, though.

I needed someone who was good at stealing stuff.

“Why are you trying to get a worthless tele instead of looking for Ray’Ziel’s murderer? I thought that’s what we agreed on,” Garm said.

“I swear, you and the Governor sound like twins. I think the tele will help me find out more information about those bald guys who were at the scene of Ray’Ziel’s death.”

“A tele will?”

“Tamshius left me a data chip. I need the tele to access it.”

She grimaced, trying to understand.

“Tamshius died before Ray’Ziel. How could he put anything of value on a data chip?” she asked.

“Of course. He couldn’t possibly know anything and write it down ahead of time. Tamshius was on this station longer than me. He created a soup—” and I looked at Garm and I realized I didn’t want to go over that part because it would sound silly. “I’m pretty sure the data chip will help.”

“How ‘pretty sure’?” she asked.

I wasn’t good at lying to Garm.

“40%. 30%. Maybe.”

“And you want to break into Podiver Vance’s main store? His most secure cabinet? For something that ‘maybe’ will help?”

“I bet he has more secure cabinets. This was right out in the open. Next to sporting goods.”

Garm sighed deeply.

“If I take this on with you, you have to realize I’m doing this as me and not the Quadrad,” she said.

I shrugged.

“I don’t care. Do it as the Nebula Fairy,” I said.

“You don’t understand. The Quadrad have been enlisted to guard the building.”

“Well, cool. You’ll know where they’re all at and any Quadrad super secrets we can use,” I said.

“No. I’m required to tell them we’re coming.”

“Forget it, then!” I said, after moving to the kitchen to find some food even though I knew I had eaten it all. “I’ll do it myself.”

“You don’t know anything about security systems. What are you going to do to get inside?”

“I can force it. I’m a strong guy.”

“These aren’t house locks. Do you think he’s got a piece of string holding the doors closed?”

“Then I’ll shoot it,” I said, angry.

“With what, a missile? You’re trying to sneak in and sneak out. That’s why it’s a burglary and not a planetary invasion.”

“You won’t help any if you tell your sisters we’re coming. You’ll be a huge hindrance,” I said.

“But if I don’t go, I’m Quadrad again and I have to tell them you’re going.”

“What?” I yelled.

“You told me about it and my loyalty is to the Quadrad. Unless I take this on special assignment,” she said.

“Forget I told you, then.”

“I can’t.”

“Pretend.”

“I’m not five years old. I can’t. I have an obligation,” she explained.

“So you’re going to tell them whether you go or not?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then you might as well go,” I said, annoyed. “When do you want to do it?”

“Forty-eight hours from now.”

“Why not now?”

“I have to give the Quadrad notice,” she said.

CHAPTER 47

When Garm came back two days later I was changing into my mission clothes.

“What are you wearing?” she asked incredulously.

“My outfit,” I said.

“You’re wearing a gold, nine-piece suit to a burglary?”

Garm had on all black. Some ropes. A backpack. Even a cap and black make-up. She was standing in the doorway, backlit, and I could barely see her.

“Cliston threw away all my old clothes. And it’s not as if I ever owned a…black leotard or whatever you’re wearing.”

“Did you know everyone on the station is trying to hire Cliston? He’s in Ebesse Hotel holding court. You should go talk to him. You worked well together. And you’re falling apart without him.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll worry about that if I live. So how are we going to creep in?” I asked.

“I’m going to creep in. You’re too fat to creep anywhere. Besides, the Quadrad know we’re coming. We’re going to have to do this different.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this a few days ago?” I asked.

“What would you have done differently? You’re wearing a suit.”

I went through my wardrobe and opted for a dark burgundy tuxedo just so Garm would stop giving me grief.

“How many Quadrad are there going to be?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“What do you mean? You said you had to talk to them.”

“But they don’t have to talk to me,” she said.

“That’s a dumb rule. Do you at least know if Malla, your granddaughter, will be there? I don’t want to be part of a family squabble or fistfight.”

“Malla isn’t guarding it,” Garm said quickly.

“What about your son?”

“My son is a clerk,” she said.

“Okay. What did you tell them about us?” I asked.

“I told them you’re a level-four mutant immune to most small arms, can heal fast, weigh somewhere in the low thousands of pounds, incredibly strong because of your weight, slow, have been running various scams and businesses for hundreds of years, and you have quite a few contacts and weapons and tricks.”

I stood there stunned.

“You told them everything about me! Why not just tie bells around my neck and paint a bullseye on my face?”

“You’re already wearing one,” she said at my clothes.

“Yet I don’t even know how many of them there are or when they go on lunch breaks. What did you tell them about you?” I asked, curious.

“They already have files on me.”

“So the Quadrad are okay with you going against them in this? And afterwards you’ll all be friends again?”

“There are quite a lot of procedures and customs in the Quadrad. It would be chaos otherwise. It all works out.”

“And what are your procedures for helping me?” I asked. Just making sure she wouldn’t actually try and kill me when on this adventure.

“Well, you rescued me from suspended animation and I haven’t repaid that. And of course, I want this out of the way so I can get your help with the Quadrad contract to protect Ray’Ziel. Also there’s…” And Garm waved her hands as if she was done. But I could tell by her manner she was embarrassed.

“You told them we had sex?” I pounced.

“No, they don’t care about that.”

“Oh. What then?”

“I told them I may still have feelings toward you,” she said uneasily.

“You told them you might have feelings toward me after you explained how to kill me?” I asked.

“I didn’t say what feelings.”

CHAPTER 48

“No,” I said adamantly.

“Everyone is going to expect you to come in the front door. Or back door. Or side door. This is the only way,” Garm said.

“I worked in the sewers when I came to Belvaille. It was my first job. I’ve spent enough time down there.”

“Really?” Garm asked. “Well, it’s the only way to get you inside. Besides, you’ll be wearing a protective suit and mask. You won’t smell much.”

“Much? Lovely. I’ll only smell some of the sewer. I’m sure it will be heaven. Why won’t you be going?” I asked suspiciously.

“Because I can get in other ways. I’m not a multi-ton clod with no coordination. This is going to be a modified smash-and-grab caper. You smash and I grab.”

“So I’m just a little distraction?” I asked, annoyed.

“You’re a large distraction. Go in throwing grenades and deflecting bullets and telling people to suck their faces.”

“It’s really not a complicated phrase,” I sulked.

It wasn’t as if I didn’t trust Garm. I mean, I didn’t. But that wasn’t the main part. Going through the sewers and then springing out in a Quadrad-infested and forewarned building just seemed damn reckless.

If I was a bookie making odds on this I would just close the book. Because there would be no one dumb enough to bet on that Hank guy no matter what the odds.

So why was I going through with it? I didn’t even want the tele that much.

Garm handed me my sewer overalls.

“We exit from the roof,” she said, as I was lacing up.

“I got to go from the sewer to the roof?”

“I’m having two jetpacks parachuted from the latticework. They’ll be up there by the time we need to leave.”

“Why not just leave by the sewer again?” I asked.

“Because I suspect you’ll have a lot of Quadrad chasing you at that point and they’ll catch you in the sewer.”

“I don’t know how to fly a jetpack.”

“I don’t either, I just got them. It buckles on your back like a harness and only has one control. An on switch. It’s already dialed with a predetermined distance, just enough to get us away and control our descent. Once you land, take it off and run.”

“Wait. No way a rocket that can lift you can also lift me.”

“They are two different ones. Yours is a small booster rocket used to move cargo in space.”

“Did you buy these at the jetpack store? This seems a little dangerous,” I said.

“All of this is dangerous. But we need to get out fast once we get the tele. The jetpacks are Quadrad.”

“So you’re Quadrad, using Quadrad equipment, to attack a building guarded by the Quadrad who know we’re coming? This doesn’t strike you as odd?”

“No more than doing it all for a tele that doesn’t work.”

The sewers were, unsurprisingly, rather stinky.

My mask and clothes didn’t completely protect me and my coddled lifestyle had restored my sense of smell, which had once been dulled from working down here centuries ago.

I had to hunch over and even walk sideways much of the time.

I had a backpack full of concussion grenades and my Gravitonic gun, but they seemed woefully inadequate for this mission.

After maybe two hours of moving on high alert, I got to the spot I needed to be. We weren’t sure if the Quadrad would have people in the sewers but figured they wouldn’t. They weren’t specifically hired to protect under the building so even if I ran into them down here, they couldn’t do anything to me until I tried to breach the store.

I stripped off my protective gear and waited directly under Vintage Vance Vagaries.

Garm and I were maintaining tele silence in case the Quadrad were intercepting the messages. These modern teles weren’t so impervious to hacking as the old Colmarian ones.

I was to wait until the appointed time before starting.

I wouldn’t be able to have a weapon in my hand as I exited because I had to open the overhead hatch and climb out, leaving me completely vulnerable.

The hour came, I turned the lock, heaved the door, climbed the ladder, and:

“Ow!”

I hit my head on a pipe.

I turned on my light and sure enough, there was a big metal pipe blocking the ladder. Garm was presumably trying to enter the building at this moment, expecting I was going to cover for her.

The pipe was not new and it made me question if I had the right location and if our blueprints were correct at all.

But Garm was counting on me.

I reached up and grabbed hold of the pipe with both hands. I briefly hung from it with my feet suspended in the air, so it was capable of holding my weight.

So now what? I left my blowtorch in my other suit.

With great difficulty I grabbed hold of the pipe again and walked my feet up the ladder until I was upside down. I planted my feet against the ceiling beside the pipe and was able to get leverage and push with my legs while holding on with my hands.

The pipe bent, tore, and finally burst.

I fell to the ground and was showered with…crap.

It was sewage water. And I wasn’t wearing my protective suit.

The good news was it seemed to be merely the active water pressure flowing through the pipes and there wasn’t anyone in the building using the toilets right now. But still, it was their sewer system and quite filthy.

I watched the shower of water coming down for a few moments but then realized the rain wasn’t going to simply stop at any point and I had already made a hell of a lot of noise.

I climbed back up the ladder and wrenched the rest of the pipe out of my way.

It was hard to see clearly but I did spot some light straight up. I kept tearing and pulling and shoveling out chunks of plaster, thin metal, and plastic.

Finally, I hauled myself up, sputtering and soaked, and found I had brutally chopped my way through the bottom of a toilet stall.

Other than the huge waterfall I had created below, it was quiet. Meaning, no one was shooting at me. The room had safety lighting but it wasn’t much illumination.

I carefully opened the door to the stall. As if I should be extremely concerned about subterfuge after drilling through the bathroom floor. The tile was soaked with water.

I reached into my bag and removed my Gravitonic gun, trying to listen to any response to my entry.

I took one single step and slipped on the floor, hit the side stall, fell through the metal wall, smashed the commode there, and sprayed even more water everywhere.

Alright.

This wasn’t going to get any more dignified.

I opened the door and crawled out across the bathroom, looking for a somewhat dry place to stand. Why would anyone design a bathroom with tile that got so slippery? People must break their necks in here all the time.

But maybe this was some Quadrad trick. Were they that good they put in a new pipe and tiling?

The bathroom had paper towels and I wiped myself off as best I could, focusing on the bottoms of my shoes and my face.

I tried to see how much water there was between here and the door but there wasn’t enough light.

If there were any Quadrad here, or any Quadrad on this station, they certainly heard me banging my way around and were standing outside right now waiting for me.

I could just wait. Let them come in and get me. I’d have a lot easier time fighting them inside the small confines of this room than a wide open department store. My concussion grenades would wreak havoc in here.

But no one was coming and the longer I waited the more time they had to prepare.

I took out and primed a concussion grenade. I opened the door and flung it out quickly and then closed the door.

Poom!

I burst out a moment later with my gun in hand and ready to face a thousand Quadrad banshees.

Instead I saw a women’s clothing section which had been slightly wrecked by my grenade.

The store was cavernous, mostly dark, and extremely silent except for the residual noise of the shattered plumbing behind me.

I walked forward warily, keeping alert.

I had crossed into the junior miss section when I started feeling a little silly—or sillier than someone who had just raided a toilet.

Was there really no one here?

Should I go looking for Quadrad? That seemed like a bad move. Maybe they were sleeping. Or maybe they had cut Garm a break because she was one of them. That was more likely. I didn’t understand all this Quadrad stuff though.

I wandered across the store, looking for trouble at first, but after a while I started browsing the merchandise. I hated shopping. And shopping in the dark, reeking of sewage, made shopping even less enjoyable.

I could go get the tele myself. It was on the floor above me. That hadn’t been our plan, but it wasn’t as if I was doing anything else other than tracking dirty water all over the place.

The elevators weren’t turned on so I had to take the stairs.

I paused about halfway up to think and rest.

I knew the store had a pretty decent men’s clothing section. Most of my items had to be tailored because of my size, but I could get socks and underwear and such. I didn’t have Cliston to shop for me so I might as well get it done while I was here. No, get the tele and go.

At the next floor I headed into sporting goods and knocked over some displays because of the darkness. I paused, waiting for someone to attack, but nothing.

The display case was right there. The lights were off and I tried to squint to see if the tele was in it, but I couldn’t tell. Where was Garm? Had she even come inside the building? Should I tele her?

I was right here.

I drummed my fingers on my chin as I peered around the store. There were so many murky shapes out there. They could be anything.

I mean, I could walk around some more, but I’d just keep tripping over things.

I was getting blasé. I had been on edge for maybe three hours and except for a slight bruise from headbutting a bathroom stall, nothing had happened. I was tired and bored.

The hell with it.

I walked to the case and raised my fist to break the display.

The entire floor was suddenly bathed in light.

“Hank, drop your weapons and put your hands over your head,” MTB said from the loudspeakers.

I’ve had a lifetime of ignoring people telling me to drop my weapons. As I stood shielding my eyes in the bright light, I once again ignored the request. It was one of the perks of being bulletproof.

But as my vision adjusted to the sudden flood of light, I saw there was a gigantic metal object just past the home furnishings section. I couldn’t decipher what it was at first until I realized it was a spaceship.

A spaceship!

It had turrets and nozzles and a cockpit and missile pods and landing gear. It was a real live spaceship with Central Authority insignias.

I’m pretty sure it wasn’t here when I had looked at the tele before. I would have noticed an entire star fighter sitting there. I had to think shoppers would not appreciate its presence either.

I just couldn’t figure out how they ever got it inside. Did they fly it in? Did they push it up the escalator? How did the floor even support its weight?

So I was holding a stupid Gravitonic gun, which was out of range and couldn’t hurt it even if it was in range, and I had some concussion grenades which couldn’t do more than scratch its paint.

I dropped my weapon.

“Throw down your grenades,” MTB said.

And I realized he was speaking from the store’s intercom. So this was really a Central Authority gig. He was watching me on cameras somewhere. I thought this was supposed to be Quadrad.

I dropped my bag of grenades.

“Now put your hands up,” he said.

I put my hands up and then brought them down on the display case, smashing it.

It was empty.

I put my hands back up again, hoping no one noticed.

Boom!

One of the turrets fired a cannon, taking out a whole dressing room.

Another turret, not to be outdone, cut loose with a Gatling gun, shredding everything in view.

Then things began to escalate.

The fighter switched on all its weapons and the store was getting obliterated. Columns, the floor, the ceiling, evening wear, make-up, shoes, mattresses, were being eviscerated and pulverized. I had the good sense to drop to the ground when they began firing in earnest.

The nozzles on the ship sprayed out some kind of metal foam which quickly coalesced into haphazard webs, which were then fractured by the other guns. I got the idea the foam was something they used in space. This was probably some construction vessel that happened to have a few little guns.

Of course, “little” was a relative term. Any weapons carried by a spaceship were monstrous in comparison to people.

The problem was, none of those turrets were meant to shoot at a single guy. They were meant to shoot at stuff like…ships.

I was way too close and way too small a target. And now that the entire second floor was being turned into dust, it was impossible to even see where I was, especially with blobs of metal foam everywhere. The gunners probably only had a small viewport to look through and the guns themselves weren’t very mobile. The landing gear also elevated the fighter far above me.

This was all very poorly conceived on the part of the C.A.

Of course, it wasn’t so great on my part either. Because I couldn’t get out until they stopped shooting. If I stood up, I had a high probability of at least one of those weapons hitting me. And while I could withstand a lot, I wasn’t an asteroid.

And then, of all things, I got a tele call. It was buzzing in my pocket. I wouldn’t be able to hear the call and I would hate to die with it in my hand like a dork but maybe it was MTB? Or:

Garm! She sent me a message.

“I got it,” the text said.

It would have been nice for her to tell me that before I got stuck here!

It was pouring water on me now because they had demolished the sprinkler system. It was pure chaos.

MTB couldn’t be happy with this. Podiver Vance certainly wouldn’t be.

I wasn’t happy.

There was nothing I could do except cover my head and wait.

It seemed like an hour, but the turrets finally got bored or ran out of ammo or got cussed out loud enough by MTB to stop.

I peeked around and the store was ruined. The whole floor was a swimming pool filled with about a foot of water from the sprinklers and damaged pipes. There were piles of wreckage strewn everywhere and the metal spider webs made it look like a giant Dredel Led had sneezed in here.

I was amazed the floor hadn’t collapsed beneath us or the floor above hadn’t collapsed on top of us. Though it was still early.

Central Officers began to slowly file out from wherever they had been hiding. I couldn’t tell how many there were because of the ruined state of the building.

I looked around trying to orient myself. I needed to get to the roof somehow, but I’m not sure if the stairs even survived.

“Hank, this is your last warning,” I heard MTB yell in person from behind the ship somewhere.

I laughed.

“That was a warning?” I yelled back. I assumed his speaker system had been decimated.

“Yes. You are grossly outnumbered.”

I chuckled to myself because he didn’t understand what that foolish ship had done.

I couldn’t fight scores of soldiers in the open of a department store. Or a bunch of quick and skillful Quadrad either. Or a spaceship with space weapons.

But they had turned this place into a war zone that fit me perfectly.

It was flooded, with no line of sight, and plenty of cover. If they wanted to engage me, they would have to get in close and slosh around in a foot of water, making them even slower than I was. The metal foam would lacerate their skin and make them choose their paths carefully, but I could walk right through the thinner strands.

I couldn’t have designed a better place to fight.

My bag of grenades had been washed or blown away, but I picked up my Gravitonic gun and powered it on. Low power.

I then crouched down and began moving, picking a random direction.

I pushed my way through the mounds of rubble.

Some bullets struck near me, but I kept going.

I stepped around a shattered beam and saw two C.O.’s. One was caught on some exposed electrical wiring and his partner was trying to free him.

I shot his partner with my Gravitonic gun, watching him go cartwheeling maybe a dozen feet through the air. I knew how to get to the roof if I could only find the stairs. But the building was stripped of its usual landmarks. I pulled loose the one who was caught with my off-hand and threw him over my shoulder.

“You know where the stairs are?” I asked him, as I walked along.

“Go to hell,” he said, his head bouncing against my back.

Another C.O. stepped into view and shot at me with a rifle. I hit him with my gun. Because of the angle, I blasted him downward into the water and he slid like five feet and sank. I figured I better pull him out so he didn’t drown.

I walked over and propped the unconscious Central Officer against some spider web.

I got another tele message from Garm.

“You coming?” it asked.

I put down my captive to free up both hands to type an answer.

“Can’t find stairs,” I sent.

My C.O. captive suddenly splashed away and began screaming as he ran.

“Here! Here! We’re over here!”

What a prick.

I got on my knees and put my gun even with the water and then angled it up. I shot the C.O. in the back and at such a low angle he flew up and hit the ceiling and splashed down somewhere out of my sight.

Heh.

But I had to move, as I heard a lot of people coming my way and my gun was recharging for three minutes.

The C.O.’s were all spread out because of the water and obstacles, so they were just taking potshots which caused no damage.

After some time I found an emergency stairwell that had survived. I went up.

I shouldered in the locked door at the next level. From here, I knew where I was and except the occasional hole in the floor, there was very little damage overall. I made it unscathed to the roof and opened the door just in time to see Garm streak across the sky in a high parabolic arc and fade into the distance.

Now that was how you stylishly left a burglary!

I searched and found my own jetpack and figured there must be some mistake. It was the size of a small car!

But there were straps and a one-page drawing of instructions and the parachute it had come down on.

I detached the chute and began the laborious process of strapping myself to the rocket.

Garm had made it sound so easy. It was anything but. There were like eight sets of buckles and I kept getting them wrong. I’d have my leg strapped to my shoulder or my left lower torso strapped to my right upper arm.

This thing looked like it could do some damage so I wanted to make sure I had it right.

I finally had it on my back and tried to stand.

“Oof!”

It took all my strength to get off the ground and the way it bent me over I must have looked like I had only half a spine.

I peeked over the edge of Vintage Vance Vagaries and saw a few dozen C.A. vehicles below. They were here in full force.

The wisdom of my old brain told me I should push this button and get the hell out of here now. But my younger glands told me to wait. Wait for at least a few witnesses.

I was about to take off with a jetpack from a heist.

How cool was that?

No one would ever believe me. It would be worth it to be wanted by the C.A. for “Reckless Jetpackery” if someone actually saw me and could tell the tale.

So I stood poised on the roof, looking back at the door I had exited.

Soon enough, three Central Officers stepped out and held their guns ready.

“Eat suck,” I said, saluting.

I punched the button.

Wham!

The rocket fired and I smacked face first into the ground. I shot forward off the roof and hit the side of the building across the street.

My engine cut off and I fell to the ground where I landed on an armored C.A. car.

I blinked a few times and slowly reached up to try and unbuckle this stupid pack.

But it wasn’t done. It had been programmed to take me on a trip. That meant ascent and controlled descent. It assumed I was on my way down from some wonderful, scenic flight.

So the engine fired again.

I smashed through one car, bounced off it, crashed into another car, then another. I think I ran over some C.O.’s who were trying to flee.

When it was done, my face was pulped to oblivion. All my teeth were gone except my molars and the baby teeth I had regrown.

Some of the Central Officers approached cautiously, wondering if my rocket was truly finished. As they stared down at me I wanted to come up with some badass expression before I passed into unconsciousness.

But my skull had just been repeatedly slammed against large metal objects at high velocity. So as blood gurgled in my mouth, all I could come up with was:

“Stinkle pie.”

CHAPTER 49

Surprise, I was in prison again.

My face was bandaged and I had a mouthful of gauze.

I tried to rise from my bunk and quickly decided it wasn’t that important. As usual, I was hungry. Starving.

My mutation was trying to repair my battered body and it needed mortar and cement in the form of sandwiches and beer.

I wasn’t sure who could bail me out this time. I was running out of important acquaintances.

“Would you care for anything to eat, sir?” I heard behind me.

No way.

I lifted my chin as best I could to see Cliston standing there! I tried to say something, but my mouth was stuffed with wrappings. My tone conveyed surprise, however.

“I felt we didn’t leave on appropriate terms,” he said.

He reached through the bars and removed the cloth from my mouth and massaged my gums.

“Do you know what I’m charged with?” I asked.

“So many things it would take every City Councilman signing your release in blood to get you out,” MTB stated.

He had been standing off to the side.

“How long have I been here?” I asked.

“Eight days,” MTB said.

“An illegal length of time,” Cliston said imperiously.

MTB looked at him.

“Who the hell are you?”

“My ex-butler,” I said.

“My name is Cliston, sir. And I am requesting you release Hank into my recognizance.”

MTB almost laughed. Almost.

“He’s not going anywhere.”

“It is Belvaille regulation that a prisoner must be charged within 48 hours of his or her arrest. You failed to do that. There is mold growing in his cell, which violates your own safety policies. I was not scanned for weapons before admittance, which is against the Belvaille Penal Code. There were only two officers on duty in the lobby, one short of mandatory. Three doors were unlocked and open on my way back to these cells, another violation. Hank has not been provided access to a doctor despite suffering serious wounds. He was not even properly logged into the system, making his detention completely unlawful. In fact, I recognized fifty-six infractions, violations, and flat-out misdemeanors just walking here,” Cliston said.

“You’re the Cliston?” MTB asked.

How did everyone know my butler?

“I couldn’t charge him while he was unconscious,” MTB continued.

“The law does not make that distinction,” Cliston said flatly. “I assure you that I will have Hank returned on the appropriate day to face sentencing.”

“I’m not going to let Hank out just because you saw some mold. He wrecked half our cars.”

“These are letters from the top three law firms on Belvaille. They confirm that if you don’t release Hank to me, we will file dozens of lawsuits regarding the mismanagement of this facility. You will be forced to release every prisoner as well as pay substantial fines.”

“I don’t care about fines. I work for the city,” MTB said.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do this, but here is a letter from the Lord Warden of this facility.”

I held my breath as MTB read the document.

“It doesn’t say to release Hank. It doesn’t say anything about him,” MTB argued.

“It’s not like I’m going to hide,” I offered. But they ignored me.

“He gave me that some years ago. I had written a handbook for the prison system and the Warden gave me that in repayment. It says to offer me ‘all possible consideration.’ And this would be a consideration.”

“What did you write for the prison?”

Cliston removed what must have been a thousand-thousand-page document and handed it to MTB.

MTB read the cover.

“Guidelines to Incarceration. 8,238 Easy Steps to the Perfect Prison. You wrote this? I been busting my hump trying to get people to follow this for years.”

Cliston looked around.

“Not successfully, if I may say.”

“We’re still sorting through the charges. When do you think you’ll be healed enough to face a magistrate?” MTB asked me.

“I just woke up minutes ago,” I complained.

“Where’s the tele you stole?” MTB asked.

“I didn’t steal anything. I was shopping and lost track of the time,” I said.

“He’ll be back in ninety days,” Cliston said.

MTB reread the letters from the law firms and the Warden and the handbook.

“Hank can’t leave Belvaille. And you need to give me a list of all the mess-ups you saw so I can get them fixed,” MTB said finally.

“That is acceptable,” Cliston answered.

“You need to fill out some paperwork.”

“I have it here,” Cliston replied, producing it.

“Can I ask why the hell you had a spaceship in Vintage Vance Vagaries?” I asked.

“The Quadrad turned over security to us. They said you were coming and knew about them. I figured if you knew the Quadrad were guarding it, you were going to come in with thirty guys armed to the eyeballs. I never dreamed you’d be alone. Did you think you were going to take on the whole Quadrad? That was insane.”

“Yeah. Didn’t work out like I planned,” I said with my gummy mouth.

Cliston had rehired my drivers and gotten my limo out of impound, so it was an easy trek home.

“Thanks,” I told him, when we were back inside my house.

Cliston turned on the lights and I found my home completely refurnished. Cliston had gone with an overall purple color scheme and lots of flowing draperies.

“So, uh, Cliston. Things were said. And…things were done. And tantrums were thrown,” I began.

“I’ll return to your service if I receive 20% of your gross salary, personnel oversight, furnishing approval, twenty floating vacation days, and unquestioned wardrobe supervision for you and your staff.”

“15%, fifteen vacation days, and I get to choose my own clothes unless it’s a fancy event,” I countered.

“Fifteen, fifteen, and you get weekends but I get to choose the color of your guns.”

“Guns are guns, Cliston. I don’t make them, I just buy them. And no one is going to be looking at color if they’re being shot at.”

“You can paint them, I’m sure. And style always matters, sir.”

“Fine. Draw up a contract,” I said.

He handed it to me. It already had the exact values we just agreed on. This robot knew me too well.

“But let me ask you one question, Cliston. Why come back? I’m sure you got a ton of offers from people with even more character.”

“It occurred to me, quite surprisingly, that I have benefited from this relationship as well. And it’s some of those other offers I wanted to speak to you about. I met with two City Councilmen who wished to hire me.”

“Great. Was Maris-To one of them?” I asked.

“No. But when I brought up the prospect of their lofty positions only being temporary, since they would inevitably be voted out of office before I malfunctioned, they said I shouldn’t worry and that I would have a prestigious job for life. Because City Council seats were going to be made hereditary.”

CHAPTER 50

Hereditary?

City Councilmen had always been voted into office. How would you keep the interests of the Sectors and Districts aligned if it was passed down through family trees? That didn’t make any sense.

Garm came over.

“Nice teeth,” she said at my empty mouth.

“Way to abandon me at Vance’s Vagaries!”

“I got the tele didn’t I?” she answered.

“You could have told me earlier.”

“I was busy getting out. I didn’t want to whip out my tele and start celebrating,” she said.

“Why weren’t the Quadrad there?”

“They called the C.A. once they knew you were coming.”

“Yeah, but they were supposed to guard it, right?”

“They did. They guarded it by calling the Central Authority and telling MTB you were going to attack. They know how much he’s into arresting you.”

“Are the Quadrad mad at you?”

“Why would they be?” she said.

“I honestly have no idea at this point.”

Garm handed me the tele.

“I hope this was worth it. And now we can go back to Ray’Ziel.”

I got Tamshius’ data chip.

Er. How did this work? I looked for a slot or port or something. I called up Delovoa.

“Hey, how do I put the data chip into the tele?” I asked.

“You don’t,” he replied.

“What? I literally knocked out all my teeth getting this and it doesn’t work?”

“I didn’t say that. Come over,” he said.

“Can Garm come?”

“Why would I care?”

“Don’t break it,” I said, as we waited in Delovoa’s workshop.

I had invited Garm mostly because I wanted her to see Delovoa. She hadn’t believed me when I told her all the modifications he had done to his body. She stood there with a horrified expression.

While I waited, I took off my bandages. My face was still raw but I felt foolish covered in socks.

“I thought teles were unhackable,” I said.

“I’m not hacking it. Well, I guess I am a bit. But it’s not a very useful hack.”

Ziggy offered us food and drinks, but it was hard to eat without teeth. Cliston had already made an appointment to get me new falsies.

“That should do it,” Delovoa finally said.

Tamshius’ ancient face came on the tele, playing a recorded message from the data chip.

“Hank, if you are watching this you have found my lab, recovered a tele, and inserted this letter. I made it so difficult because what I’m about to tell you is important and…I possess a deep shame for my actions.

“My body began its accelerated decay over a century ago. I saw my vigor and health drain away like mist before a strong wind. I would not die early, but I would face something worse, a shadow of a life.”

“I funneled my resources into the laboratory with one goal, to unlock your mutation.”

“I had taken a sample of your DNA long ago when I had made you sign a blood pact—a ceremony I had completely invented. I did it with the aim of getting the key to your regenerative powers so I could stop my own wasting. I saw you survive countless attacks and internal damage, only to come back restored mere weeks later.”

“I sank decades and a fortune into my ‘restaurant.’ It was all in vain and I wish today that I had never undertaken it. I should have been content with the existence the Fates had allotted me. I squandered more time than my disease ever did.”

“But I wasn’t a complete failure. The reason we could not unlock your mutation was because we found that you are not a mutant.”

“You are an Ontakian.”

“Every member of that species is like you.”

“You once said your parents, or some lineage of yours, had fought in the Ontakian war. They may have, though I am not sure what side they were on. But you are not a mutant.”

“The reason you healed denser and grew larger was not because of your mutation, it was because this is not your native atmosphere and this is not your native food. You are in a constant state of malnutrition, or gluttony, or some other conflict. I do not know, precisely.”

“The soup I had you create and drink in my honor was the closest we could come to a formula that emulated your Ontakian biology. It is toxic to anyone else, but it should have a pronounced effect on you. If it did, it proves your origin. If it didn’t, then you can ignore this message and assume it is the ramblings of an old man facing death.”

“I am sorry I deceived you, Hank. I selfishly wanted to live longer and believed you were the answer to that.”

“You may ask why I didn’t tell you this sooner, while I was living, or even years ago. The simple answer is that I was afraid of what your response would be. I thought you might try and stop me. Or worse.”

“And when I discovered what I believe is your true heritage, I didn’t want to leave that information under a stone somewhere for anyone to find. The Ontakians still exist and still bear great enmity toward the former Colmarian Confederation. I did not know what the officials of Belvaille would do if they learned you were an Ontakian.”

“I am unsure what you will do with this information or if it is in any way helpful. But know that I give it in an attempt to make amends.”

“What a jerk,” Delovoa said, when the message ended. “Trying to steal your mutation.”

“I told you not to trust him,” Garm said. “That’s why my planet and his never got along.”

But I was shocked.

An Ontakian? I was a mutant!

It was who I was. It was my most defining characteristic. I was a Colmarian Confederation mutant on Belvaille. Even though the Colmarian Confederation no longer existed. And Belvaille had moved halfway across the galaxy and didn’t remotely resemble the city it once was.

I felt Garm’s hand on my shoulder.

“Finding Ray’Ziel’s killer will take your mind off this,” she said helpfully.

“Did you know about this?” I asked her, brushing her hand off.

“How would I know? I thought you were a mutant. I even filed mutant reports on you, remember?” she said.

“Ontakians aren’t all bad,” Delovoa offered. “They had good technology. Though clearly you didn’t acquire any of their mental acumen.”

“Those bald guys! They must be Ontakians,” I said. “I must be too. That’s why that plasma weapon didn’t hurt me.”

“I don’t know about that,” Delovoa said.

“But does it really matter if you’re an Ontakian or a mutant?” Garm asked.

“It matters to me.”

“But why?” Delovoa said.

“Because…it was me. I was a level-four mutant!”

“You’re just as strong and resilient and dumb and stubborn as before you heard that tele message,” Garm said.

My head was spinning.

“Should I not eat anymore?” I asked. “He said normal food was bad for me.”

“I’ve seen you hungry,” Garm warned. “It’s safe to say you should continue eating.”

“Maybe you can ask your Ontakian friends what their dietary habits are,” Delovoa offered.

“Ontakians hate Colmarians. We destroyed their home planet,” I said.

“That was the Colmarian Confederation. That empire is gone,” Garm stated.

“I don’t think losing your only planet is something you forget,” I countered.

“No, I think Ontakians are still pretty upset,” Delovoa agreed.

“So what are those two Ontakians doing on Belvaille?” I asked.

CHAPTER 51

I got my teeth replaced. It looked like I tried to eat my way through a jewelry store.

But who knows, maybe this was what Ontakians were supposed to wear.

I was still in shock about all that. I didn’t know if I was a Colmarian or Shmolmarian or what.

But I was Hank, and I was tired of being on the receiving end of rich people and their rich people schemes. Cliston had bought me about ninety days to figure out what was going on before I was tried for my escapades at Vintage Vance Vagaries.

I took my limo over to Malla’s place in Education District and banged on the front door.

I was going to flat out ask her if she killed her husband.

I doubted she would answer me, but I would point out that I knew she was in the Quadrad. Also, our “contract” seemed too convenient. And she kept extending it and bailing me out, as if she was worried what I might say.

And most telling, Garm had shown me that it was possible for Quadrad members to work against their own organization. Garm did it when she helped me steal the tele. So even though the Quadrad were hired to protect Ray’Ziel, that didn’t mean Malla couldn’t kill him.

Her home was, of course, gigantic. But I was becoming numb to preposterously large structures.

I was armed, because I didn’t know what her reaction would be, and I was tired of her veiled, polite threats.

“Hank, what are you doing here?” Garm asked, inside.

She was seated with her granddaughter in a massive living room filled with pink statuary.

“Er,” I said, momentarily startled by seeing Garm. “Did you kill Ray’Ziel, Malla? Tell me for real.”

“No,” she said. “He hired us to protect him.”

“She was part of the protection,” Garm explained.

“She married him to protect him?” I asked.

“No, they were unrelated. She is Quadrad and the Quadrad were hired. She could be married to him and still try and keep him safe,” Garm said.

“So now you have his fortune. It seems you profited mightily from the Quadrad’s failure,” I said.

Both women stood up and looked rather upset.

“I am Quadrad by birth, by death,” Malla stated.

“We would never voluntarily fail a mission,” Garm said.

“How do I know that? How do I know she was really protecting him and not doing a side job like you were when you helped me get the tele? You want me to find Ray’Ziel’s killer but it could be your granddaughter.”

Garm sighed.

“She has been looking for his killer too. That’s how I knew she wouldn’t be at Vance’s. She is on assignment to help avenge him.”

“I thought you didn’t love him. Or like him,” I challenged Malla.

“We heard chatter there might be an attempt on my husband’s life. I came to you and asked you to keep an extra set of eyes on him. Garm recommended you,” Malla said.

“My first mistake,” Garm muttered.

“I gave you a plausible reason why I wanted your help,” Malla continued.

“But not the real reason?” I asked.

“If we told you that, you’d just blab it at the Gentle Club or somewhere. No one knew the Quadrad were protecting Ray’Ziel, but you’re a lot less discreet than we are. We didn’t want to alert who was making the attempt. In retrospect, maybe we should have,” Garm said.

“I’m a Quadrad. I could have killed my husband at any moment and the best medical examiner would never have known it wasn’t from natural causes. Why would I use a bomb? It caused more suspicion than if he had simply vanished,” Malla said.

That was true.

“But what about,” and I looked at Garm, worriedly, “us?”

“Us?” Malla asked. “Us what?”

“Like, you know, us. Sleeping together,” I said, my hand firm on my gun.

“The Quadrad had to avenge him and restore our honor,” Malla said.

“What’s that have to do with sleeping with me?” I asked, feeling dumber than usual.

“We couldn’t take the job to find his killer ourselves,” Garm said. “The Quadrad had already failed to protect him and there’s no way the City Council would have hired us in any case.”

“But we wanted to find out what you knew as you searched, so I tried to stay as close as possible and keep you interested,” Malla added.

“I don’t really know anything,” I said.

“I could have told her that,” Garm agreed.

“We kind of thought you’d be further along by now. Or have more information,” Malla said.

“They didn’t really pay me to look, though. They paid me to not look.”

“We think that’s intentional,” Garm said.

“Why would they care when I park?” I asked.

“How many times have you been hit in the head lately?” Garm said.

“A lot! And this isn’t helping.”

“We think the City Council hired you because—don’t take this the wrong way—but they thought you’d never find the killer or even bother trying. You have a reputation as a lazy and immoral hitman,” Malla said, looking concerned how I’d take it.

“No, that’s about right,” I said. “It wasn’t until the Governor started coming around personally that I was forced to act.”

“We’re not sure what side he’s on either,” Garm said.

“There’s sides?” I asked. “I was confused enough looking for one side. I mean, it could have been someone looking to replace him as Councilman. But I don’t see anyone who wants that District. It could be people who want more immigration, which is basically everyone. Or it could be Malla.”

The pair began shouting angrily.

“Fine. Fine. It’s not Malla.”

“What have you been doing this whole time?” Garm asked.

“Parking on holidays and learning I’m an Ontakian. But Malla was right. I don’t think there will be an election for the vacancy. Not only that, I heard they are going to try and make the City Council seats hereditary.”

“Who told you that?” Garm asked, clearly not believing me.

“Cliston. He was interviewing with City Councilmen. He works for me again. Or I work for him.”

“We haven’t heard anything about that,” Malla said, alarmed. “That would change Belvaille System dynamics completely.”

I knew I shouldn’t ask, but this was eating away at me.

“Garm,” I said.

“Yes?”

“So, I know why Malla slept with me…” I said. And I looked from Garm to Malla and back.

“And?” she asked.

“I mean…you guys…why did you sleep with me? Was that also some Quadrad thing?”

Malla smiled and Garm shrugged.

“Everyone is allowed to make mistakes now and then.”

CHAPTER 52

The ladies told me that the Quadrad were hired by Ray’Ziel when he started receiving threats. They didn’t have much information beyond that. There were a lot of threats. Like I said, he wasn’t very well-liked.

The Quadrad reported nothing unusual in the run-up to the bombing. I hadn’t seen anything unusual either. Though I didn’t exactly know what was usual for a City Councilman.

I told them about the bald Ontakians, but that didn’t fit in with anything they knew. Ontakians wouldn’t care about Ray’Ziel any more than they would care about any other Colmarian—which was not at all.

Every City Councilman had his own army, of course. Hell, even high-ranking nobles did. I didn’t think it would be of much use to talk to them and there were far too many. He had tens of thousands all through the System, which again detailed just how difficult it was to kill a City Councilman.

But Malla told me about a unit Ray’Ziel had in addition to his normal troops. It was kind of like his special forces and intelligence wing.

I wondered why he needed Quadrad when he had them. Maybe he suspected foul play internally?

In any case, they didn’t like Malla, or at least the leadership didn’t. She suspected because she was Quadrad and they never trusted her. The commander of the department was a man by the name of Colo-Ves.

A man I was on my way to visit.

He demanded I meet him off-station, but I explained that my probation restrictions prevented me leaving.

We settled on an area in the former Deadsouth.

Deadsouth no longer existed. There weren’t slums on Belvaille. Or at least not real slums. The worst off were merely wealthy as opposed to stupendously wealthy.

There was a lot of construction in this area, however. This was probably the last section of Belvaille that had been taken over and developed by the new money.

It was a good meeting spot because there were a lot of vacant buildings awaiting demolition or completion. Nearly every other square inch of Belvaille was filled with people and it was hard to get a private moment unless you owned the building. Presumably he didn’t want to meet at my home.

The building I was instructed to enter had light security all around it and I noticed even more eyes along adjacent buildings.

Of course he had to be on the top floor and the elevators were turned off while the building was being remodeled.

On the way up the stairs, I was frisked and frisked again. I had been told I couldn’t bring any weapons so I didn’t. But they still had a tough time going through the hundred layers of my Cliston-applied clothes.

His men were efficient and severe. They didn’t carry any honking-big guns. They mostly had pistols. I noticed they all wore the heraldry of Ray’Ziel still, which was a gold square filled with a woman’s head facing left.

It was a ten-story building and I had to stop numerous times to rest. They thought I was fooling around or causing trouble at first, but it was pretty clear I couldn’t fake sweat and exhaustion that well. The soldiers brought me some water.

Colo-Ves was at the top of the gutted building, exposed wiring and climate control everywhere. He stood with five of his lieutenants. One man looked out the window with binoculars and carried a rifle.

Colo-Ves was a mousy man with a small mustache and small, round glasses. He wore a rigid, obscenely military uniform. It was so crisp and angular you could probably cut your eyeballs just looking at it. He was the only one so dressed. His other men wore plain clothes. He stood so straight he looked like a caricature. Only his receding hairline gave away that not everything about him was under his control.

Colo-Ves saluted me, which I thought was odd.

“You guys are still working for Ray’Ziel?” I asked. “He’s dead, right?”

“His house still exists. One of his relatives, who isn’t in Belvaille System, is employing us.”

“Malla?” I asked.

“Malla is in Belvaille System. She’s on Belvaille. And she isn’t his relative.”

“Wives aren’t considered relatives?” I asked.

“She’s his widow.”

“Widows aren’t considered relatives?” I was asking seriously.

“Blood relative,” Colo-Ves clarified.

“Okay. I’m looking for his killer.”

“I know. That’s why I agreed to meet you. You’re not doing very well, by the way,” Colo-Ves said.

“Why does everyone think this should be so simple? I’m asking questions as fast as I can.”

“You’re not asking the right people,” he said.

I waited for him to tell me who that was, but he wanted to be dramatic I guess.

“And who is that?” I asked dutifully.

“Maybe his widow.”

“Malla? No, she was protecting him.”

The men in the room laughed contemptuously.

“She’s Quadrad. Her whole family is. They’re born killers. A planet of killers.”

“Her father is a clerk.”

“No, he’s not,” Colo-Ves stated definitively.

“He’s not? Well, the Quadrad were hired to protect Ray’Ziel. Malla is a Quadrad. She would have to double-cross a…planet of assassins to kill her own husband. I can’t think it’s worth it no matter how much she inherited.”

“She won’t inherit anything if the rest of the family has a say. And who knows if she double-crossed the Quadrad or it was their plan from the start.”

“I don’t buy that. You said they were killers by birth. You think the entire organization is suddenly going to retire? They need their good name intact to get more assignments. I’ve worked with the Quadrad before. They’re really strict about contracts.”

“There are loopholes in any contract,” he said.

“Sure. But if they are known as the group that finds loopholes big enough to do exactly the opposite of what they were hired to do, they will never get hired again. What about immigration? Ray’Ziel was the only one opposed.”

Colo-Ves seemed to dwell on what I said for a moment before answering.

“Yes. Ray’Ziel thought immigration would bankrupt him and ruin the System.”

“How?” I asked.

“He was already losing money. You don’t really get funds from being a City Councilman. He had to pay for most of it himself. Unlike all the other Councilmen, he actually cared about his job. He couldn’t afford to create an education framework for all those new people. No one could. He couldn’t afford the one we currently have. So if immigration went through, all the other Councilmen would grow rich—” he started.

“They’re already rich,” I interrupted.

“Grow richer,” he corrected. “And he would become destitute. And, more importantly, our education system would become so overwhelmed that only the wealthiest of citizens would be able to afford schooling. In a century, the majority of the population would be illiterate.”

“The Governor doesn’t support immigration either,” I said.

“But he can’t stop it. He’s from Trade District. If he tries to veto it, they’ll vote him out next cycle or even hold a special election. You know how much money is waiting out there? It’s not just the immigrants. It’s all the planets and systems they are tied to. There are a lot of wealthy people waiting to get in. A lot of resources waiting to be put to use.”

“Have you heard they want to make the Council hereditary?” I asked.

He looked impressed.

“I did. Hadn’t thought many others had though. It’s all back channel right now. They’re gauging response.”

“But who benefits from that? All the nobles will be locked out of the Council forever,” I said.

“But they’ll be nobles. Everything will be hereditary. Not just the City Councilmen.”

“No way! No one will ever agree to that. What about all those immigrants?” I asked.

Colo-Ves shrugged.

“The only reason Ray’Ziel was opposed was because he had no heirs. Same with the Governor. They’re basically voting to give themselves power forever. Who would vote against it?” he asked.

“So you’re telling me what I already knew. Everyone benefitted from Ray’Ziel being dead. Hey, have you seen two big bald guys. Maybe Ontakians?” I asked.

“What?” he said.

“Vehicle approaching!” The man by the window yelled.

“What kind?” Colo-Ves asked.

“Looks military.”

“It’s probably the Central Authority. They follow me everywhere,” I said absently.

I saw a brief flash of light from a rocket’s exhaust and an explosion shook the top floor of the building!

I was hurled with such force against the back wall I had the wind knocked out of me and was on all fours trying to clear my vision.

Colo-Ves and a soldier were the only ones still moving other than me. They stripped off layers of their shattered and smoking body armor. Then Colo-Ves turned and pointed at me angrily.

“Kill him.”

CHAPTER 53

The soldier walked up to me with calm dispassion. He drew his gun, cocked it, aimed at me, and fired.

Blam!

“You’re not serious,” I said.

The other men, who were slowly regaining their feet, all looked over.

The bullet had of course bounced off my thick skull, doing little more than putting a new part in my hair.

The soldier fired again, this time hitting me in the chest.

“You guys really don’t know who I am?” I asked.

The soldier looked back at Colo-Ves as if inquiring what his next step should be after wasting two bullets.

“You are bulletproof,” Colo-Ves said in surprise.

“Why do you think they hired me?”

“Because you’d just cash the checks and wouldn’t actually try and find Ray’Ziel’s assassin.”

“Well, yeah. But I’m bulletproof too,” I answered.

The man who had been by the window reported back from a crouched position.

“Thirty, thirty-five incoming. Unis-Pare heraldry.”

“Unis-Pare. Unis-Pare,” Colo-Ves said, thinking. He turned to me for the answer. As if his men hadn’t just shot me.

“He’s one of Gaktus’ nobles,” he said, finally.

Gaktus was the City Councilman of Manufacturing District.

“Did you bring him?” Colo-Ves accused me.

I stood up and was trying to piece together my clothes after the rocket attack.

“Why would I?”

“You live in Manufacturing,” he said.

“So? I eat in Food sometimes and own a restaurant in Trade. I never heard of him.”

“What fired that rocket?” Colo-Ves asked his men.

Another soldier was talking on his tele and relayed what he heard.

“It was a mobile launcher, just one missile.”

Colo-Ves faced me again.

“If you’re not working for him and you didn’t bring him here, help us fight them off,” he said.

“Um. No,” I said, slightly surprised at the offer.

“We thought you betrayed us, that’s why I had my man shoot you,” Colo-Ves said.

“Oh, I don’t care about that. But I’m pretty sure they aren’t here for me. I know you guys only marginally more than I know them, so I can’t figure why I should fight for either of you,” I said.

We heard gunfire outside, still a block or so away.

“How do you know they aren’t here for you?” Colo-Ves challenged.

“Because, unlike you, I still have a City Councilman or two backing me,” I said.

I headed to the exit.

“You think they will just let you walk out?” Colo-Ves shouted.

“I’m bulletproof, remember?”

Honestly, that was a bit of a bluff.

Yes, I was bulletproof.

No, I didn’t like getting shot.

And if they had anything bigger I’d have to rethink my plan of simply walking up the middle of the street flashing my bejeweled smile.

Colo-Ves’s men must have gotten word that I was a big meanie and so all the way down to the ground floor they took shots at me from a few feet away.

They seemed to be looking for a weak spot.

After about six shots, I got tired of it and finally grabbed one guy in the stairwell and threw him out the window. Well, more stuffed him out the window. I couldn’t throw very fast, especially when he was squirming and holding on to everything.

They stopped shooting me after they saw that.

I wanted to get out of the building before whatshisname’s men started coming in, because they wouldn’t know I didn’t work for Colo-Ves—unless they took my word for it.

There was a lot of shooting now. From the building I was in and all up the street.

What if they were here for me?

I’d feel awful silly sashaying out there and get a gut-full of rockets.

Who was this guy again? He worked for Gaktus. How did he know we were here? What would he want with Colo-Ves?

Or me?

I couldn’t think of anything he would want with me. I wish I had some of that soup handy. I could just drink it, scream, go beat the crap out of everyone, then sleep with Malla.

Or Garm.

But no, I couldn’t fight any nobles on Belvaille. I was already on thin ice with the Central Authority. I’d be arrested for sure and Cliston wouldn’t be able to get me out.

And I was unarmed. I didn’t even have anything to fight them with. Unless I waited for them to come upstairs so I could stuff them out the window one at a time.

But that hardly seemed a viable strategy.

I peeked out and determined the soldier who had been spotting either couldn’t count or was a supreme optimist.

There must have been a hundred men and several armored cars coming this way.

Yeah. I wasn’t going to walk past that.

I headed back up the stairs looking for ideas. But the building was still under construction. There wasn’t much here except frame and the basic utilities.

I went up another floor and saw a man firing down from a window. But what struck me was the lighting in that room was different.

The back of the room had not been completed in a spot. There was a large section of the wall missing.

This was the eighth floor. A long drop even for me.

Not only that, there was a lot of debris and equipment at the bottom. If I did survive, I’m not even sure where that street opened up. It might loop back around to the fight.

So I’d simply show up with two broken feet.

The hell with it.

I tried to take a running start, but it was more of a shuffle start.

I jumped out and immediately pitched forward in the air.

Instinctively, I clenched my lips to cover my teeth.

CHAPTER 54

I don’t know how, but I think I simultaneously landed on my back, neck, head, face, legs, hands, and tailbone.

As I lay there, staring up at the latticework lights, totally content to never move again, the soldier I had passed in the room above suddenly stuck his head out, saw my prostrate form, and shot me.

Twice.

I was too battered to even cuss at him.

He saw he didn’t accomplish much that the ground hadn’t already done, and an irate army was on its way toward him, so he went back inside.

There was a large steel drum nearby and I slowly crawled inside it.

My plan was to roll away from this block and building and battle. The fact I thought this was a good idea highlighted the seriousness of my injuries.

I rolled maybe five feet and bumped into something. Of course I couldn’t see what or where, so I had to crawl back out.

I dragged myself in what I considered the opposite direction of the shooting and teled Cliston, who said he was dispatching my car.

Once again I couldn’t help but marvel at how Belvaille had changed, being picked up from a firefight in a limousine.

I got maybe a block away by the time it arrived.

Cliston had come personally!

I was quite thankful for this because the driver couldn’t begin to hoist me on his own.

As Cliston sat with me in the back seat, providing dapper first aid, I had to proudly point out:

“I kept my teeth, Cliston. They’re all here. Count ‘em.”“You did splendidly, sir. Just relax and we’ll have you home shortly.”

CHAPTER 55

While I was convalescing, immigration was thrown open.

Countless ships flooded into Belvaille. Not just the ships that had been waiting in System, but new ones responding to the change in policy.

It might have been the fastest and most widespread immigration in the history of our galaxy.

I was busy recovering and doing a lot of sleeping and eating during this time. When I came around, I would read my tele for a bit and ask Cliston what was new before going back to sleep.

Ray’Ziel had been right. Little Belvaille System couldn’t support all these people. Not just for education. We couldn’t house them, give them jobs, or create enough undergarments for them. Rendrae reported daily on the chaos that the immigration shift was causing.

The dreadnaught Shelter had been immediately commissioned to live up to its name and be converted into a gigantic apartment complex.

The rates for skilled and unskilled labor plummeted as everyone fought for employment.

The already astronomical Belvaille real estate market became obscene and nobles were in open conflict trying to hold on to their tenuous parcels of land.

So far, no one had messed with me or my building or my soup restaurant. I felt like I was getting a lot of much-needed rest, even if it came at the expense of me wheezing, having migraines, and overall pain.

I was hopeful I could just sleep out this whole immigration nonsense and everyone would forget they ever hired me to find anything about Ray’Ziel.

“What did you find out?” Garm asked, standing at the foot of my bed.

“I learned that jumping off buildings, with or without jetpacks, doesn’t work out very well for me.”

“Come on, Hank.”

“I’ve been here recuperating for three weeks. You know more than I do.”

“What did Colo-Ves say?”

“He thinks you guys killed Ray’Ziel.”

“Obviously not. Who was leading the attack on your position?” Garm asked.

“One of Gaktus’ people,” I said.

“Which one?”

“I don’t remember. I wasn’t standing there with a notepad.”

Garm rubbed her forehead.

“You know immigration went through?” she asked.

“Yeah. How are we going to feed all these people?”

“No idea. It’s crazy.”

“Oh, Colo-Ves said that the hereditary thing I told you about would also extend to nobles. Basically everyone on Belvaille would keep their titles and rank passed through their kids. He said that’s why Ray’Ziel was opposed, because Malla didn’t have any children.”

“That could be why there are so many fights right now and the Central Authority isn’t doing much about it.”

“Yeah, nobles jockeying for position before it’s all frozen into place. Hey, is your son not a clerk?”

“What does it matter?” she asked.

“Because you told me he was and Colo-Ves told me he wasn’t,” I said.

“I haven’t seen my son in a lot of years. I don’t know what he is now,” she said.

Garm could have been lying, but the profession of her son didn’t seem all that important.

“Why do you think Colo-Ves was attacked?” she asked. “He died, you know.”

“No, I didn’t know. Not sure. I guess for whatever reason Ray’Ziel was killed. They were still active and being paid by Ray’Ziel’s cousin or brother or something,” I said.

“So what should we do now?” Garm asked.

“I think we should drop it,” I said.

“Be serious.”

“I am. I don’t get paid anything for finishing the contract. Everyone hated Ray’Ziel. If this inheritance thing goes through and we find the killer, am I going to walk into the City Council chambers, in front of a bunch of lords, demilords, and high lords, and throw down the name? You know as well as I do that someone pretty high up was responsible for his death. And what do the Quadrad get? So what, you fulfilled your contract. The guy paying you is already dead and you have to work with the living. I mean, I’m sorry your…grandson-in-law was killed, but exposing his murderer won’t bring him back and it won’t make our lives any easier. Just the opposite. Right now, the biggest charges against me are jumping off a building with a jetpack. I’m not too worried. A little prison time will probably help my reputation, anyway. But if I keep pushing the Ray’Ziel thing, I’ll end up dead. I’m sure of it.”

Garm stood there stewing.

“We had a deal!” She said with barely controlled fury.

“Yeah. I’ve had lots of deals. Thousands, probably. But on every contract that exists across the universe there’s a really small disclaimer written in invisible ink. It says, ‘This contract is null and void if fulfilling or attempting to fulfill it is guaranteed to get you killed.’ They murdered a City Councilman. They blew up an entire building of people who remotely liked him. They attacked, in broad daylight, his security forces—on Belvaille! What chance do I have? You want me to be serious. I want you to be realistic, Garm.”

“Someone made this happen and got you to help cover it up. If I know you, that isn’t something you’re comfortable with. You’ve been a pawn and a dupe. What is to prevent it from happening again? What is to prevent them from covering their tracks by killing you? Everyone knows you’re at least supposed to be looking for the killer. What if they get worried that you’re actually doing your job? You’ll be next.”

She was right on that account. No one was looking out for me except me. Even if I never told anyone who ordered Ray’Ziel’s death, I personally wanted to know so I could react accordingly in the future.

I sat in bed rubbing my blankets.

“Okay, but remember the contract fine print. I’m happy to live a few hundred more years in blissful ignorance. It beats living zero years and knowing who killed Ray’Ziel.”

CHAPTER 56

My injuries were mounting and I wasn’t getting enough downtime to heal them.

If I wanted to go chasing City Council killers I decided I would need some of Tamshius’ soup.

Delovoa came over and Garm joined him—I think because she wanted to make sure I stayed on track—and we headed to my restaurant. I’d need them to restrain me if we couldn’t dilute the formula sufficiently.

“Just make a small batch. And make it really weak,” I told Delovoa.

Ziggy was with him holding his gut cart steady in the car.

“I think we should try making an extra-strong helping,” Delovoa said. “Who knows, maybe it will flip over and you’ll heal instantly without side effects.”

“Or he’ll kill us all,” Garm said.

“Yeah,” Delovoa agreed, “let’s go with the diluted version.”

I opened the restaurant and we headed to the laboratory downstairs.

Garm went down first because Delovoa took a long time and needed Ziggy’s assistance and I was still limping and wanted to go last.

When Garm reached the bottom we heard a lot of commotion suddenly.

Then gun fire.

“That sounds bad. Should we close the door?” Delovoa asked.

“Um, hey, Garm. What’s up?” I called down.

“Your damn brothers!” She yelled.

Delovoa and I exchanged glances. Maybe we should close the door. Garm was a tough gal. She might eventually kill them both.

“Come help me!” She hollered at us.

“It could be a trap,” Delovoa cautioned.

“From Garm?”

He shrugged.

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to go down there. Those stairs are really steep and if those guys are like you on the formula, they will tear us apart.”

“Help!” Garm repeated.

“Okay, we have to go,” I said.

“You first,” Delovoa answered. “You can take a hit better than me.”

“Send Ziggy.”

“Ziggy isn’t a fighter. Po respond to danger by waving their tentacles.”

“Those Ontakians wiped the floor, the walls, and the kitchen, with me when I was at full strength,” I countered.

“Hank!” Garm called.

I took a deep breath and turned around to try and walk down the stairs.

Garm was flipping and spinning and cartwheeling off the laboratory equipment as the two Ontakians smashed everything in their paths trying to get her.

“Hey, brothers,” I said, smiling wide.

I then quickly covered up my teeth so I wouldn’t tempt them.

The lab was ruined. They were hurling giant, expensive-looking machines like they were much smaller and less expensive machines.

Why couldn’t we have encountered them upstairs where no one would even notice if they destroyed the junky tables and stools?

Garm must have been out of bullets. Or:

“They’re bulletproof!” She shouted while bouncing off a wall, somersaulting, and landing behind one.

I watched the Ontakians for a second, raging around, moving with considerable speed and ferocity, and I knew I couldn’t remotely fight these guys. I couldn’t even fight one of them.

Unless it was a tickle fight.

I hadn’t brought my weapons. I didn’t think I would need them. And now that I was seeing them in battle mode, it wouldn’t have mattered if I had ten Gravitonic guns.

But these were also the people I wanted to talk to.

“So guys, I recently found out I’m an Ontakian. Do you have any advice?” I asked.

“Now?” Garm asked incredulously, as she struggled to stay out of the bald men’s grasp.

“Hey, Delovoa, how are you doing?” I called up the stairs.

I heard a single thump, as he descended a solitary stair.

“Coming,” he replied, from what sounded like another space station.

Alright, there was nothing to do.

I put my head down and charged in, my arms outstretched to try and grab one of the men.

He backhanded me so fast and so hard I hit a machine, twisted over it, and smacked into the wall.

As I lay in a puddle on the ground I looked sadly at the shattered remains of my false teeth. I tried to scoop them together with my hands. It was like a little pile of gemstones. Wait, it was a little pile of gemstones.

“Hank!” Garm exclaimed, her voice pulling me out of my reverie.

“Delowoa!” I called, without any teeth.

There was another thump, as he descended.

“Still working on these stairs,” he said unconvincingly.

Garm wasn’t getting tired from what I could tell, but the lab simply wasn’t that big and they were hurling debris at her. And they were fast. And teeth-shatteringly strong.

I used the wall to help me stand up.

Talking to them didn’t work. And running at them had…hurt.

I looked around on the ground for some kind of weapon. Or tool.

There was a long piece of metal I thought I might use as a kind of spear. I pulled on it but it was connected to a bigger piece so I began wrenching it back and forth to try and tear it loose.

“What the hell are you doing?” Garm asked.

“Maging a shear,” I mumbled.

“What?”

As I dragged more and more metal out of a pile I realized my dream of a long distance attack was not going to reach fruition anytime soon.

I dropped it all and walked back to the combat, this time taking a decidedly more cautious approach.

Didn’t matter.

I was suddenly on my back and one of the Ontakians was sitting on my chest and had his hands around my neck.

He lifted and slammed my head into the ground maybe a dozen—or a million—times before I knew what was happening.

I slapped him.

He smashed my head a bunch more. I began to windmill slap him using both hands.

I really had no clue what I was doing at this point.

I saw his big ugly face blinking in annoyance at my slaps and I felt like that was some great achievement. I was forcing him to blink.

“Ead sug, sug hace,” I taunted.

Slap! Slap! Slap!

He suddenly stopped digging a hole in the floor with my cranium and raised his head in alarm.

I kept slapping, thinking I was finally making some headway.

ZZZZOOOOM!

I was partially blinded by a giant orange beam of light that streaked across the lab. The heat from it was unbearable.

The Ontakian jumped off me as the beam passed over my body and I was fortunate I was mid-slap or my hands might have been severely burnt.

I could smell the metal equipment in the room melting as the noise continued.

The Ontakians said something to each other and then one of them handed me something.

I picked it up dumbly and looked at it.

I was no expert, but I was pretty sure it was a bomb.

CHAPTER 57

Either the room had grown quiet or I couldn’t hear anything over the sound of me being terrified.

A very complex explosive device had essentially been placed in my hands, where I had gladly accepted it in lieu of having my head split open.

But I looked up and saw Garm’s face, she was also scared.

Garm was never scared.

Behind me, Ziggy tried to right Delovoa, who had, along with his cart, been knocked on his side. At his feet was what must have caused that large heat beam.

The Ontakians were nowhere to be seen.

Delovoa wouldn’t be able to stand, let alone get out of here before this bomb went off. I was assuming they didn’t just hand me a bomb with a four-hour timer.

Garm could get out but I didn’t know the radius.

“You guy shay here!” I lisped.

I tried to stand up and immediately fell.

I wasn’t so much punch drunk as punch wasted. My vision was blurry and my equilibrium was shot.

“Garr. Sairs,” I said, pointing to the stairs and me.

She didn’t want to be near the bomb, but she wanted it to be gone more. She couldn’t begin to lift me, but she could point me in the right direction.

“Ziggles,” Delovoa moaned, “help him.”

Even as disoriented as I was, I noticed that Delovoa had used Ziggy’s other name. Spiteful little bitch to the end.

I felt the thousand hands of Ziggy practically moving me like a marionette as I plodded toward the stairs.

If I tilted too far one way, it would run on that side and brace itself to keep me upright. Then I would invariably careen the other direction and it would pull me back.

I hit the wall at the base of the stairs and looked up.

It was a tough climb when I had a working body, wasn’t carrying a bomb, and had all my teeth. I tried to scramble up as fast as I could and kept sliding.

I finally put the bomb in my mouth, where it fit perfectly, and climbed with both hands. Ziggy pushed from behind and I made it into the restaurant.

I tried to kick Ziggy back down the stairs, but he dodged my feeble attempt and merely scurried back down to Delovoa. Which was what I wanted anyway.

I pushed the cooler into place over the stairs and took the bomb from out of my mouth.

Alright, genius, now what?

“What is going on here?” I heard MTB say.

He was standing in the restaurant with several of his Central Officers with him.

I held it up for him to see.

My panic must have been pretty clear.

“Bomb!”

CHAPTER 58

I didn’t really owe MTB anything.

He had caused me a lot of stressful nights with his stupid tax issues, having his men constantly harass me, accusing me of Council-cide, trying to kill me with a spaceship, and he ran me over with a car.

But he and I did go way back.

I figure, he’s probably got a bunch more guys outside, so if I ran out there, I’d probably blow them all up. And I’d kill a lot of people in Trade District.

But it was Trade District, so I wouldn’t miss them.

Especially since I’d likely be dead myself.

If this was my last act, however, I should try and minimize casualties. Just my luck, there would be five potential saints out there admiring a derelict soup shop and then I’d forever be known as the jerk who killed them.

“Geh ou!” I yelled, waving them away.

For once, MTB didn’t argue or give me any guff.

He and his officers all turned and ran.

So now I was holding a bomb in my restaurant.

You always hear about how your thoughts drift over your life, but I was hyper-focused on the now. You don’t get especially whimsical when adrenaline has your heart pumping so much blood your toenails were about to shoot off.

But wait, I was in a soup shop.

I put the bomb on the floor and placed a metal bowl over top of it.

Then I put my foot on the bowl.

No, that wouldn’t do anything.

I put another bowl on it.

Then ten, all stacked together.

I turned over the grease vat, long since dry, on them all, flattening everything.

I then ran over and pushed the entire counter, making a terrific noise.

I was basically wedging the entire soup shop into one corner when the bomb went off.

Boom!

I don’t know how I managed to comprehend it, but I did.

I got blown through the front of the building and demolished two Central Authority cars. They were the only ones on the street and I hit them both.

I was wedged inside one of the cars, sitting uncomfortably where the engine had once been.

The auto spilled its bodily fluids all over me and they merged with mine, which almost certainly wasn’t healthy.

Not that it mattered.

I could almost read Rendrae’s obituary: “Today, a car and a mutant died in Trade District.”

Former mutant.

I kept forgetting I was an Ontakian.

I saw blurry lights and brake fluid.

MTB wiped my face with his hand.

“Hey, Hank, I think you were right. I saw those big bald robots you talked about.”

I can’t say it felt good to hear “you were right,” just before I died. Mostly because I was in a tremendous amount of agony and if MTB said, “Hey Fatface, I’m going to steal your building and marry your sister,” there wouldn’t be much difference to me.

Still, you had to take what you could get.

CHAPTER 59

Beep. Doop. Beep. Beep. Bop.

I cracked open an eye and Delovoa was standing there.

I expected to see medical devices that I was hooked up to that were making noises, but he was playing on some electronic game.

Ziggy pointed at me with a few dozen hands.

“Oh, hey, buddy,” Delovoa said.

I couldn’t tell if he was injured or not because he looked terrible anyway.

“Give…soup…” I managed.

“Soup? The soup’s all gone. That building is pretty much all gone. I had to replace my liver and a lung because of the explosion. But I had spares.”

“Garm?” I asked.

“What about her?”

“Hurt?”

“Nah. Maybe singed her hair. Broke a nail.”

He went back to his game.

Beep. Beep. Doop. Dop.

“M…T…B…” I said.

“Huh?” Delovoa asked, not looking up from his game.

“I’m afraid you’ll need to withdraw for the moment, Mr. Delovoa,” I heard Cliston state firmly.

“Sure. Oh, Hank. The reason I came over is because I wanted to ask you, I can’t recreate Tamshius’ formula exactly. I don’t have the components or the gear or the procedure. But I can start guessing. It might help, it might not,” he said.

That was Delovoa.

“How long…was I here?” I asked.

“Like, two weeks?” he said.

“Thirty-four days,” Cliston corrected.

“Or thirty-four days,” Delovoa said.

I tried to move anything at all on my body and couldn’t.

“Okay,” I said, after I was finished straining.

“Okay try or okay don’t try?” Delovoa asked.

“Try,” I said.

“It might make you sick for a while. Just so you know,” he warned.

“How much…sicker can I get?”

“Oh, a lot,” he said, surprised.

CHAPTER 60

I had numerous extractions. I wouldn’t quite call them surgical procedures.

Fragments of metal were embedded all over me from the bomb blast.

The ceramic counter had been disintegrated into sand. They had to scrub that out of my skin, taking most of my skin with it.

There were enough bowl pieces in my body to make an entire dinner set—though only composed of bowls. I had a completely intact spoon stop just short of piercing my stomach. Numerous medical technicians came in to marvel at it, because the force and heat and impact should have made it lose shape and become molten. But no, there it was, a whole spoon. I kept it next to my bed as a reminder to stay away from bombs.

Delovoa had been feeding me this and that in his attempts to replicate the soup, but after my eighth day of constantly throwing up, I called a halt to the proceedings.

But he overruled me.

“It’s working,” he said.

“Me getting sick isn’t working,” I disagreed. “I just want to heal.”

“You’re an Ontakian. You’ll heal without a formula. But it will cripple you eventually. You’ve already seen that happen. What I’ve been giving you stops your body from creating all that extra mass.”

“So I’m going to heal like a normal Colmarian?”

“No, you still heal way faster. Look at you, you sat in front of a bomb that almost leveled a building. A normal Colmarian wouldn’t be lying here complaining about it, he’d be dead.”

“I wasn’t sitting in front of the bomb. I was trying to protect you guys.”

“It worked. But you’ll cut your lifespan in half if you keep on eating and drinking like you usually do.”

“You’re just guessing on that,” I said.

“Of course I am. I’m not Doctor Ontakian. For all I know your species could eat plasma guns and breathe cyanide. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“So why am I getting sick from your ‘successful’ formula?” I accused.

“You’re being poisoned by this environment, which is causing an almost allergic reaction. I’m trying to counter that. It just happens to be by inhibiting your cell mitosis.”

“What’s that mean?”

He thought how to explain it.

“It’s like poisoning your immune system. Punching you in the biology.”

“My immune system! Don’t I need that?”

“Nah, Belvaille is super sterile. All these ships are. Or we’d die from pathogens every time these weird species step foot near each other. And if you ever get seriously ill, just stop taking the drug and you’ll heal up, though you’ll gain a little weight. Permanently.”

“This seems all very shoddy and Delovoa,” I complained. “Can’t you make it better?”

“I’m working on it. But you’re healing well. Your teeth are coming in fine. And most importantly, areas that weren’t damaged aren’t getting prematurely dense.”

“How long do I have to keep drinking this crap?” I asked.

“Until you die or stop being Ontakian. Or until you don’t mind going back to being a big fatty,” Delovoa said.

“Can you make it taste better at least?”

CHAPTER 61

I felt the Gentle Club was one of the last safe places in the whole System.

Immigration and the pending hereditary shift were causing quite a lot of problems. Nobles across the city had called in their gangs and proxies and there was, for the first time in a lot of years, open fighting on the streets of Belvaille.

I was dining on sausages with my natural teeth. The food was about a tenth the quality of anything Cliston could whip up, but I loved the idea of no one bothering me here.

“Hank,” I heard a voice say.

I was about to shoot him, whoever it was, when I saw it was Lagla-nagla, the lopsided man. He wore a new uniform that was even more crooked and disheveled than ever. It was hard to say whether he was wearing his shirt, or the air around him was wearing it. I think every hair on his head was a slightly different length. It would take someone years to make himself that messy yet not completely slobby. He was almost an artist.

“Oh, hi,” I said. I almost tried to say his name but I felt stupid just thinking it.

“How you been?” he asked.

“Um. Great,” I lied.

If I ever reached the point I came to the Gentle Club and told the Lagla-naglas of the universe my problems, I honestly hoped someone would kill me.

“You still working for Maris-To?” he asked.

“Uh. I don’t know, actually.”

“Oh, I just got laid off. I’m working for Dentin Dorlack,” he said. A name I didn’t recognize.

“Ah. Is he any good?”

“Not really. First day, pew, he gets shot in the head. Assassination or something.”

“Wow. That sucks. Are you still working then?” I asked.

“No one said I wasn’t,” he reasoned.

“Hmm.”

“I just remember you asking about Maris-To.”

“Sort of. I was more curious about Ray’Ziel,” I answered.

“Yeah. Before I left, I met a lady who said she knew why he was killed.”

“Why Ray’Ziel or the new guy you work for?” I asked.

“Ray’Ziel.”

“Well, for immigration. And hereditary stuff. And because no one liked him,” I said.

“She said it was another thing. Heard Maris-To say something about it,” Lagla-nagla burped through his beer.

The woman, who was named Samp-tore, worked at Maris-To’s palace as some kind of maid.

That building was comprehensive enough that servants might never leave it for months at a time and I couldn’t exactly wait outside, thumb in my mouth.

I couldn’t get Lagla-nagla to go in because they would stop him at the door.

I didn’t want to go in because Maris-To might give me more work to do.

There were so many exits in Maris-To’s building I couldn’t possibly keep track of who came and went. So I went back to the Gentle Club and found some dependable-looking guys who were off duty and wanted to make some extra cash. I hired about ten people and gave them the description of Samp-tore and my tele number.

Finally, I called up the building’s main line and said I had a message for the woman. I was transferred a few dozen times to some manager in the building. Probably in charge of mops or coffee mugs.

I told him I was calling to pass along the message that Samp-tore’s mother had just suffered a severe stroke and she may not live. I said I was a staff member of the hospital.

When he asked what hospital, I hung up.

I didn’t know if Samp-tore had a mother who was living. I didn’t know if her mother was in Belvaille System. I didn’t know if her mother dying was a good enough excuse to leave work at Maris-To’s. I didn’t know pretty much anything.

After several hours, though, one of my hires said he saw someone who matched the description leaving with someone else. They were on the other side of the building.

I told him to stall her any way he could.

When I came over, I saw the woman on the ground crying in pain. Apparently my hired man had figured the most surefire way to slow her down was to kick her in the knee.

She was a thin little woman, past middle-aged, in Maris-To’s crisp uniform.

“Get out of here,” I scolded my hired goon.

It would be just what I needed if the security forces showed up.

I crouched down to Samp-tore.

“Do you need any assistance?” I asked as kindly as I could.

“My mother,” she cried. “She’s dying!”

Make-up was streaming down her face from her tears. Wow, I felt kind of scummy now.

But, you know, sometimes you got to kick little ladies in the kneecaps in this line of work. I never said it was glamorous. If it was, everyone would want to do it and I’d be out of a job.

“Where is she?” I asked innocently.

“The hospital.”

“I have my car over there,” I said, pointing at the not-suspiciously-nearby vehicle.

“Thank you. Thank you!” She said.

“Is it okay if I go, Samp-tore?” her friend asked. She was a younger woman in the same uniform. Maybe she had a car and was going to drive her. But she didn’t want to miss work now that Samp-tore had an alternative.

“Yes. Thanks for your help.”

“Good luck. I hope your mother is better,” the other woman said, dashing back to the imposing building.

I helped Samp-tore into my limo and she was so distraught she didn’t notice she was getting into a limousine or was being lifted so effortlessly by someone clearly concerned about leaving the scene and who wore no heraldry.

“Drive!” I said.

“I don’t know what hospital!” Samp-tore cried.

“It’s okay, your mom isn’t sick. I just needed to talk to you.”

The woman was wiping her face and suddenly seemed to realize where she was.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“My name is Hank. I just want to ask you a few questions.”

“I know you,” she said softly.

“I’m not dating Malla,” I answered, annoyed.

“No, you’re working for the City Council, right?”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s what I want to talk to you about. Someone said they heard you mention why Ray’Ziel was killed. You might have heard Maris-To mention it. Maybe at work.”

“I can’t answer that,” she said.

“Why?”

“Master-Servant Secrecy,” she said.

“I’m working for the City Council, though. And maybe Maris-To,” I said importantly.

“But then you know how the Master-Servant agreements work. I can’t divulge anything I heard. They are designed to protect us. You as well,” she said.

“Protect me? Hah! If any agreement has been protecting me, it’s done a lousy job.”

Samp-tore folded her hands in her lap.

“Nevertheless, I’m afraid I can’t respond to questions about my employer,” she stated curtly.

I couldn’t believe this. Here I was in my own limo and a maid, fully aware of who I was, was totally stonewalling me.

“Look, lady, if you don’t tell me what I want to know, I’ll have to kill you,” I said.

“You won’t kill me,” she answered. “You work for Maris-To, the same as I do.”

Nertz.

“I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I don’t give a damn about a Master-Servant anything. You’re right, I won’t kill you. But I’ll break your arm. And your employer might eventually fire you for being a lousy housekeeper with a broken arm. And if that doesn’t convince you, I’ll break your other arm. And I don’t know many domestic servants who can laugh off two broken arms. Let’s cut to the end here, you’re going to tell me what I need to hear,” I said.

She looked at me for a long while, not blinking. Her eye make-up had dried down her face and she held my gaze for what must have been four years.

“I won’t tell you anything about his romantic activities,” she stated firmly.

“Why…fine,” I said, happy to get that over with.

“And I won’t talk about his family,” she added.

I shouldn’t have agreed so fast. She was a good negotiator.

I paused this time.

“Okay! Now tell me, did you hear Maris-To tell anyone or ever say why he thought Ray’Ziel was murdered?”

She seemed to think hard on this. I got the sense she wasn’t trying to remember. She was deciding what agreements she would break by telling me.

“I didn’t hear anything about that. But I did hear him say that now that Ray’Ziel was no longer with us, he, as in Maris-To, could use the technical resources of the Education District,” she said delicately.

“Maris-To took over the Tech Sector?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t know that,” she answered tactfully.

“Do you know what Maris-To did or was doing with the tech…stuff? Or who he told this to?”

“I never looked at who he was speaking with. Sometimes it was on the tele. Sometimes people would be there. I overheard by accident. I keep my eyes on the floor as much as possible,” she explained.

“Yeah, okay,” I said.

That wasn’t a lot. Why would anyone want Education? People were dying to get out of it! Maris-To would lose money if he tried to run it. Was he just going to hire out the best people and move them to his District?

“Oh,” Samp-tore said, “I do think I remember one thing he mentioned. He said he was going to build housing.”

“Housing? That’s a whole other District. That doesn’t make sense,” I said.

“Maybe because of the immigration?” she offered.

“That’s still not involved with Tech District. Those aren’t related. And why would Maris-To, the Food Councilman, care about Housing? Is he going to take over three Districts?”

Samp-tore seemed to be trying to remember his exact words.

“I think he said it was about providing homes for all the new people,” she said.

That didn’t sound like Maris-To.

CHAPTER 62

I had given Cliston instructions that no one should ever be permitted to enter my home without me present.

However, I came back and inside was Malla, Garm, MTB, and Delovoa with Ziggy.

Cliston answered my question before I could ask it.

“Forgive me, sir. I am not capable of repelling a determined pair of Quadrad, a Central Officer, and whatever Delovoa and that thing are.”

“No problem,” I said.

“Hank, we think the other City Councilmen might be moving against the Governor,” Malla said.

I shrugged.

“What is that, only a million or so private soldiers backed by countless solar systems? Want me to sock ‘em in the noses for you?”

“Pay attention to what we’re saying, Hank,” Garm said.

“Why? What do you expect to do about it, protest in the streets? All the nobles are fighting. This stupid inheritance thing is going to happen and Belvaille is going to become a real aristocracy.”

“I think it’s a coup,” MTB said. “Yeah, some nobles are fighting, but it’s mostly against those loyal to the Governor. The Central Authority isn’t protecting them like it’s supposed to.”

“I thought you controlled the C.A.,” I said.

“Are you joking? I’m an Inspector. I’m like fortieth in line. It’s all nobles at the top,” he answered.

“Well, you seemed to take a big interest in me and my taxes,” I pouted.

“My Ray’Ziel Task Force had twenty-five men and I borrowed fifteen more when we got word you were attacking Vintage Vance Vagaries. There’s a big difference between that and a Colmarian warship with a crew of a few thousand.”

“So you were using your Ray’Ziel Task Force against me?” I asked.

“I told you, I thought you killed him. Taxes were just one way I hoped I could get at you.”

“So now everyone is here looking at me for help,” I said at my living room of assailants past and present.

“Brunch is served in the dining room,” Cliston announced.

“Why are you giving them food?” I asked, as everyone filed out.

“It is 10:15, sir, and you have guests, regardless of their dispositions.”

In the other room, everyone seemed to enjoy the food tremendously. This gave me some satisfaction as it showed I had access to better cuisine than they did.

“What we need to do is find Hank’s Ontakians,” Malla said.

“But how do you find two guys in the whole System?” MTB asked, chewing on some custard.

“That’s easy,” Delovoa said.

“How is it easy?” Garm asked.

“Just scan for them,” Delovoa answered dismissively.

Then he held up one of the cables that came from his chest.

“Here, pull this,” he said to Garm.

“Don’t do it,” I told her. “Delovoa, I can’t be scanned.”

“Everyone can be scanned. You’re easier to scan for than anyone,” he replied coolly.

“My whole life people have been telling me I can’t be scanned!” I shouted.

“Not directly,” he said, as if it was obvious.

“What does that mean?” Malla asked.

“Hank’s body blocks tight scans. You can’t penetrate him with those wavelengths. So if you just look around for areas that can’t be scanned, you’ll find your Ontakians. It would be like shadows on a painting.”

I couldn’t believe Delovoa. He was so flippant about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” I asked. “You were always saying I can’t be scanned.”

“You can’t. It’s not scanning for you. It’s scanning for everything except you.”

“That’s the same thing!” I yelled.

“No, it’s not. You can’t tell if a mystery cloud has kidney failure or is even a Colmarian. This couldn’t possibly have helped you, Hank. I mean, I guess you could use it if you were lost and wanted to see where you were on a map, but you’d have to have a scanner big enough to look at the entire map.”

“How big of a scanner?” Garm asked.

“Oh, to find the Ontakians?” Delovoa asked. “You’d need to use the telescopes to search the city. If you wanted to search the whole Belvaille System, you’d need multiple telescopes in conjunction and it would take time.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to get to those telescopes?” MTB asked. “They coordinate trade across the known galaxy. People are going to notice when freighters start running into each other.”

“You said we have a coup going on, can’t we use that?” Garm asked.

“Nothing stops those freighters,” MTB said. “They time their fuel consumption and food use. But more importantly, that’s money sitting out there. Even if Belvaille was at full-scale war I think they would come and drop off their cargo. There’s nowhere else for them to go. Can the Quadrad do something?”

“We won’t take an active part on any side. Bad for business,” Malla said.

“Speaking of which,” I added, “just who and what are you two working for?”

“The Quadrad assigned me to find Ray’Ziel’s killer,” Malla said. “And you and I have an open agreement.”

“Yeah, scratch that,” I said. “What about you, Garm?”

“I had a deal to help you find out you were an Ontakian and I’m working independently to find Ray’Ziel’s killer,” she said.

“You’re an Ontakian?” MTB asked me.

“Sort of. Man, these deals kind of suck for me,” I said.

“So how do we get access to the telescopes?” Garm asked.

Delovoa sighed.

“I can take control of the telescopes remotely,” he said.

Everyone looked at him.

“But it’s like MTB mentioned, the operators will notice when they aren’t getting the data they expect and the ships aren’t receiving communications,” he added. “Then they’ll just restore control.”

“If I may suggest,” Cliston started, while serving some little finger food, “a festival.”

“What?” Garm asked.

“The Festival of Dancing Beams is in eight days and you could hold it in the north and cordon off the telescopes,” Cliston said.

“Who would go to it?” I asked.

“Everyone. Everyone worthwhile. If the appropriate protocol and formalities are followed,” Cliston added.

“He’s right,” Malla agreed. “The nobles live for that stuff and with this ongoing fighting they’ll want a neutral spot out in the open.”

“And the Central Authority will have to secure an area around it, even if it means emptying out some of the telescope buildings,” MTB said. “But I can’t think they would let us disrupt more than a small handful, no matter how fancy the party.”

“How long would it take you to set this up?” Garm asked.

“You have to talk to every single noble there is, right?” I asked.

“No, I only have to speak to the important ones. It will require a few days.”

CHAPTER 63

The Festival was approaching and bureaucratic hostilities seemed to be suspended so manpower could be shifted toward preparations.

Guys who had been shooting at each other a day ago were now blowing up balloons and polishing silverware together in the ten-block section that had been set aside for the party.

I was still drinking Delovoa’s formula and feeling better every day, though not fully healed. But I had another concern that I talked to him about.

“Every single time I’ve met those bald Ontakians they have trashed me. This Gravitonic gun and grenades won’t be of any use, do you have anything else I can fight them with?” I asked Delovoa.

“Not much,” he answered helpfully.

“What about that big laser-y thing you had in the lab? And what did you restrain me with when I went crazy from the soup when you were testing it on the District?”

“I used nerve gas on you. It doesn’t work on me or Ziggles.”

“Ziggy,” I said, and the Po suddenly scuttled in. “See? It knows its name. Nerve gas? Were you trying to kill me?”

“Nah. It would kill other people, but you could just heal. If you had headaches in the days following it was probably because of that, though.”

“What did you use in the lab?” I asked.

“That was a deep space cutting torch meant for slicing through ships. I wasn’t sure what would happen activating it around so much oxygen. I wondered if the heat might fry us all.”

“Almost did. But that’s perfect. At the worst, they’ll run away again, which is better than them knocking out my teeth.”

“The Ontakians broke the torch when they ran away from the bomb they handed you,” he said.

“Can you fix it?”

“I can, but I don’t have any more fuel. It’s an antique, really. I just figured I could use it as a weapon. We have much more efficient torches now. That one is almost a thousand years old I think.”

“No fuel at all?”

“Well, I guess I could make some. But you’d have to cart it around with you and it’s super dangerous. More dangerous than the torch itself—it’s not very efficient as a weapon, it’s just scary.”

“Scary is great. I like scary,” I said.

“Alright, I’ll need some credits.”

“What for?”

“I have to buy supplies from Make District. Maybe even go out to the Sector. I said the chemicals were dangerous, I don’t have stockpiles between the cushions of my couch.”

“Send the bill to Garm. No, Malla. She’s got a ton of money.”

“Should I lie when I tell her what it’s for?” he asked.

“No. Besides, the Quadrad probably have this placed bugged and are listening to us right now.”

“They don’t,” he said confidently.

“How do you know?”

“Because I have their headquarters bugged.”

CHAPTER 64

Delovoa gave me the torch and he was right, it was crazy big and complicated.

The fuel was in a backpack tank with three hoses connecting to the actual torch. It was all manual. You had to turn on each chemical with a dial, read the gauges, get the mixture correct, then compress and ignite it all with the torch.

If the mixture wasn’t right, it would fail to start or explode. I didn’t have enough fuel to test it or get proficient with it, either.

Cliston had done his part, and the Festival of Beams, whatever the hell that was, was scheduled to be the event of the year, despite only eight days of notice.

Malla said that the fact so little time was available was making the nobility view it with even more prestige. Anyone could be fabulous with months of preparation, but to lay claim to the best hairdressers and tailors, who were gouging on prices because of demand, proved you were the absolute pinnacle of society.

MTB had gotten the men most loyal to him and would secure the area around three whole telescopes. Delovoa felt there might be enough time to search the city, depending on how long the Festival went on, but there was no way he could search the Sectors outside the city with only three telescopes. We agreed the space station was the best choice.

Malla was going to the Festival in case the Ontakians were there and to try and learn anything more about the coup—if there was one.

Garm was with me.

While I was hoping Delovoa’s torch might give me some ability to deal with the Ontakians, I wanted Garm there. She managed to fight them far longer than I ever had. Still, I believed she was really disturbed by how little she could hurt the Ontakians when she fought them in the lab and how close they had come to killing her.

Garm and I sparred a number of times in the past, but she could stay out of my reach with relative ease. My brothers weren’t like me, however. I didn’t know if I was the fat and slow Ontakian or they were perpetually hopped-up on some version of Tamshius’ soup, but Garm was concerned about her ability to deal with them just like I was.

Every day she would poke or shoot me with some new weapon she planned to use on the Ontakians and ask me if it hurt.

“Yes!” I yelled.

“Well, it’s supposed to incapacitate you, not sting,” Garm answered.

“MTB has some grenades that kind of explode wire. He held me down with those once,” I said.

“Truss Mines. It might be an option. But if they knock them back before they explode, I’ll get caught or slowed. You can survive getting punched by them, I can’t.”

“Yeah,” I said, licking my shiny new teeth worriedly.

CHAPTER 65

The Festival arrived and everyone took up their places.

I was sitting with Garm in my bedroom going over tactics for how we might fight the Ontakians.

I normally wasn’t a big tactics guy. I walked forward and shot people or walked forward and wrestled people. Sometimes I wouldn’t walk, but that’s about as much diversity as I could muster.

Garm had brought about fifty diagrams detailing all the potential areas we might encounter them and how we could try and maneuver to our advantage.

I had to sit down and got Cliston to bring me some food, as this was going to take some time to go over. But more importantly, I just wasn’t cut out for this kind of stuff.

“What’s a fallback move I can do if I forget these?” I asked Garm.

“Forget what?”

“If I mix up B4 and C9 and the command words,” I said, motioning to the diagrams on the floor.

“Don’t mix them up! That’s the whole point.”

“Yeah, but I’ve only looked at them for a few hours. I can’t remember all this stuff. I don’t want to do the wrong one and end up shooting you.”

“What? Don’t do the wrong one! Look at them some more. They aren’t that hard,” she said.

But they looked really complicated to me. I had led some rather large “armies” before on some pretty big operations. But each time it was pretty much, walk forward and shoot people.

I didn’t pretend to be a great general. Or even a mediocre general. And I didn’t have Garm’s reflexes or strategic sense. I normally didn’t need them.

“I have a reconditioned brain,” I said.

“Stop using that as an excuse. You’re just lazy. I’d rule the galaxy if I was as strong and tough as you,” she said, annoyed.

“Yeah, but you’re not.”

“No, I’m not. So I have to rely on you. So you had better stop eating and pay attention to these plans,” she barked.

She snatched away my food and put it on a table across the room. I watched it go sadly.

I picked up a random diagram and looked it over again.

“I’m the ‘X’ on this, right?” I asked.

“What? No, that’s a fire. Aren’t you reading the instructions?” Garm asked.

“Can’t you paraphrase them? These are way too long.”

“They are paraphrased! That’s exactly what these are. Complex battle operations where two peoples’ lives hang in the balance have been reduced to a few sentences!”

“More than a few,” I pouted.

I heard the doorbell.

Cliston zipped into the room a moment later.

“Sir. It is Maris-To. In person. At the door,” Cliston said.

I looked to Garm.

“Should I ignore him?” I asked.

“You can’t, sir,” Cliston urged.

“He’s right. You have to talk to him,” she said.

“What if he wants to take me to the Festival or something?” I asked.

“Go. We still don’t have any direct leads. We’ll tele if we need you,” Garm said.

I walked out to the front door and sure enough, Maris-To was waiting inside like a common delivery boy. Though no delivery boy had that hair or that air of superiority.

“Councilman,” I said pleasantly, “so great of you to visit. What can I do for you?”

“Please get dressed, Hank, we’re going out to eat,” he said.

“Oh, I wasn’t planning on going to the Festival until later. And I already made arrangements,” I said.

“No, we’ll be dining with the Governor.”

CHAPTER 66

Maris-To was in my living room, drinking a cocktail Cliston made.

Garm was in my study hiding with her diagrams.

I was in my dressing room with Cliston. Worried.

“Cliston, I need some weapons to take to the Governor’s,” I whispered.

“That torch thing Delovoa gave you cannot be brought to a dinner with the Governor,” he stated firmly.

“I know that. My grenades and my Gravitonic gun. Get them from the armory.”

“You will be forced to remove them as well. This isn’t your Gentle Club. The Governor’s security will screen you for weapons.”

“Even in your purse thing?” I asked.

“Yes, they will make you open it,” he said.

“Can you sew them into my suit?”

“I’ll return shortly,” he said.

My heart was pounding because I was about to bring a large cache of weapons into the level-eight mutant Governor’s mansion.

Cliston returned and he had what must have been two dozen grenades and my gun. I didn’t expect he would get so many, and when looking at them all, it seemed preposterous that I’d be able to smuggle even one inside.

“Hold still, sir.”

Cliston began sewing and dressing me at lightning speed. I think if I moved an inch I would have had my forearm permanently stitched to my forehead.

He was done and stepped away and I looked at myself in the mirror.

“Cliston, I look like a guy who has two dozen grenades and a rifle in his suit.”

My arms were puffy, my legs were puffy, I felt my suit about to rip apart any second and spill a battalion’s worth of hardware on the floor.

“You asked for your weapons, sir.”

“Not all of them. No one will believe this.”

“Let me handle that. You can’t keep a City Councilman waiting any longer,” he said, gently ushering me out.

Maris-To stood up when he saw us enter.

We shook hands and it was the first time I think I had ever touched him. Though he was wearing gloves.

He raised an eyebrow at my appearance.

“That’s an interesting choice of suits,” he said.

“If you’ll forgive me for speaking, sir, it was my choice,” Cliston said.

Maris-To instantly seemed to reappraise it.

“Is it comfortable?” he asked me.

I hesitated.

“No,” I admitted.

“The purpose isn’t comfort, sir. It is to demonstrate one is a person of leisure. It is designed to constrict normal movement as much as possible,” Cliston said.

“I see. Interesting. I’m not sure if I could pull it off, but he wears it well. Your servants do you credit, Hank.”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Shall we off?” Maris-To asked.

As we were exiting, Cliston had another good play.

“Shall I keep a drink for your return, sir, or will you be coming back too late?”

Maris-To answered.

“I think we shall be out quite late indeed,” he said.

CHAPTER 67

I think I was sitting on five grenades in the limo and was worried as we drove along they would prime and blow my legs—or something more important—off.

“So, we meeting the Governor?” I asked.

Maris-To didn’t respond, just sat there with his pretty hair.

“You heard anything about a coup?” I continued, just making polite limo talk.

But again he didn’t answer so I just remained quiet the rest of the ride.

The Governor’s mansion was far in the northwest.

It was another block-long enormity that looked like a spaceship had crashed into Belvaille.

We had to pass not only Central Officer barricades but the Governor’s own personal security. They started whole blocks out and became tighter and tighter the closer we got. If there was a coup going on, it didn’t look obvious here.

The car was scanned.

This made me incredibly nervous. If they scanned us personally, they would easily detect my weapons and I’d be in for a rather uncomfortable dinner with the Governor.

When we got out, Maris-To went up first to the building and handed his invitation to the guards.

I was sweating as I looked at the ten or so security guards and their corresponding high tech security apparatus. I wasn’t getting past. This was an incredibly foolish idea.

Maris-To was graciously waved through and then it was my turn.

The guards all gawked at me and my bulky outfit that practically screamed hidden arsenal.

“My butler made it,” I said dumbly.

They weren’t impressed. They began to get some scanners in place and what looked like other security measures.

“He is my guest and his butler is Cliston,” Maris-To clarified.

“The Cliston?” the head guard asked.

“How does everyone know my butler?” I huffed. I was more exasperated by that than worried about the threat of being caught.

“He wrote the manual on aristocratic security services,” he answered.

One of the guards in back looked around and pulled out some massive, dog-eared tome that could probably be used as a fortification in a pinch. He had to lift it with two hands it was so heavy.

“Oh. Yeah. He makes clothes, too,” I said.

They seemed to look at my wardrobe in a new light and began nodding slowly. As if Cliston’s name was enough to brainwash them.

The head guard motioned for me to enter and I did so as fast as my grenade legs would allow.

If Maris-To’s home had been impressive, Governor Vorrin-Gortail’s was trebly-so.

He was the richest man in Trade District, richest man in the Belvaille System, and maybe richest man in the whole galaxy.

As we walked, I was viewing things I didn’t even comprehend.

There were artifacts and finery from unknown worlds over every inch of the palace. There was a point I thought I was going to fall through the wall but it was some optical illusion that caused a rippling effect.

I wasn’t a high judge of taste, but I think some of Cliston’s sense had rubbed off on me. This home seemed beyond extravagant. It was trying too hard to impress. It was new money.

And there seemed to be either a decided lack of elevators or the guards were purposefully instructed to take us on the most meandering course possible to reach the Governor. As we moved along I felt my weapons shifting in my wardrobe and I was growing more and more distressed.

After what seemed like an hour and me sweating all over my grenades, we reached a room that encompassed the whole width and length of the building.

Maris-To had a room similar to this. But instead of using it as an office and gym and bedroom, there was nothing in the Governor’s room except a dinner table and carpet.

Ballanor carpet.

The stuff that everyone had made such a big deal about because I had a small room of it, the Governor had an entire block of the stuff.

This was his dining room.

The guards left and it took us five minutes to walk to the table. Five minutes of uninterrupted walking in a straight line. How many old-style Belvaille buildings were knocked down to make room for this place, I wondered. How did they even manage it?

The Governor was seated already, looking ancient as always. There was room for maybe fifty people at the table but there were only two empty chairs across from the Governor.

The table was loaded with food that looked and smelled excellent, which was good, because I was hungry from all our walking across this mind-bending structure.

Maris-To sat curtly, without a word.

I sat delicately, trying not to sit on any grenades, and immediately helped myself to some grub.

“Hank, it is unfortunate to see you here,” the Governor said politely.

I had already shoveled a pound of food in my mouth.

“Huh?” I answered.

“You don’t have to worry about Hank,” Maris-To said politely.

“Don’t I? He is carrying a multitude of weapons,” the Governor replied.

“In Hank’s field of expertise, that can be expected,” Maris-To said.

The Governor sipped from a tea cup, Maris-To sipped from his wine glass.

I sat there looking between them. I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. The Governor never took his eyes off Maris-To and Maris-To never took his eyes off the Governor. I kept eating, but at a reduced pace.

“I’m curious what he promised you, Hank. Some minor barony? Military assets? Money?” the Governor inquired.

“Maybe he saw that your path of continued obstinacy was doomed to failure and of no value to the city,” Maris-To said.

“The city? Your sights have never been on just the city,” the Governor refuted.

“Indeed, and you have been a martyr for the System’s survival? You have maneuvered to your own benefit, and the extreme detriment of those who oppose you, for decades now,” Maris-To said.

“You killed Ray’Ziel,” the Governor stated bluntly.

I was shocked at that and merely nibbled at my food.

“I did not! Ray’Ziel was a respected member of the nobility. He was old money and a worthy adversary. If I—Hank, could you pour me some wine?” Maris-To said, pointing.

“Hmm? Oh, sure.”

I got up and poured. I was less worried about my weapons shifting since the Governor already seemed to know about them.

“And why should I believe you? You have constructed a web of lies since—Hank, could you bring me some of the roast orajun?” the Governor asked.

“Yeah.”

I became a waiter and hopped back and forth serving the now-hungry aristocrats as they verbally dueled.

It didn’t take long to get far too esoteric for me. They were arguing about laws and treaties and events that happened or were going to happen in distant star systems.

I tried to remember how Cliston did it and served the food while keeping my ears open. Nobles rarely seemed to eat much, but on this occasion it was almost like they were trying to out-consume one another.

“Ugh, finally,” Maris-To said, after what seemed like hours.

Maris-To slumped in his chair and if Cliston were here he would have been shocked at the Councilman’s posture.

“Do you know how hard it has been?” he asked.

I stood there with a tray in each hand, not sure who he was speaking to.

“He is a mutant and can stop time,” he continued.

The Governor just sat there, staring at Maris-To.

“Anyone who went against Vorrin-Gortail’s wishes ended up broke or broken. Sometimes even dead. How could they not? He could simply stop time and observe them. Intercept their communications. Learn everything they were doing.”

Maris-To took a long gulp of his wine.

“I had to tiptoe for decades. Leave no incriminating evidence. Tell no one my plans. Because he might see it. Might uncover. I freely admit the stress was incredible.”

Still no answer from the Governor.

Maris-To turned his attention to me.

“I gave him many chances. I didn’t mind that he was new money. He had the insight. The drive. It’s how he got here. He was relentless. But when he became Governor, he changed. He lost sight of his killer instinct and what it takes to succeed. Do you remember what I told you about new money and old money?” he asked me.

“Uh. Like the new money is newer. Just kind of got it or something. The old isn’t old in age so much as old as in like—no, I don’t remember,” I admitted.

“It is power. The old money, like me, know how to use it. Isn’t afraid to use it. I am happy to give out titles and contracts and empty presents to these new money cretins. Power trumps all of that.”

And I thought back to what Samp-tore said. The little woman who worked for Maris-To said he was working to create housing for the new immigrants.

Not housing.

“Shelter!” I exclaimed.

“Yes,” Maris-To said, clearly impressed. “I have a dreadnaught! Do you know the story of Shelter? Its last mission?”

“No,” I answered dutifully, knowing Maris-To would tell me regardless of what I said. I was more concerned with the Governor and why he wasn’t moving or even blinking. Had he stopped time? Was this what it looked like?

“Shelter was in the civil war of course. It had been sent to a star system, whose name is irrelevant, to put down the insurrection there. It was a trap. Shelter was the last of the dreadnaughts and a vast fleet had been assembled to destroy it. 1,000 ships? 10,000? The numbers aren’t clear. What is clear is that Shelter was losing. It was being destroyed. Not even its vast firepower could withstand that many Colmarian warships. So the captain turned Shelter’s weapons on the five Portals that existed in that system and destroyed them. Then he used the a-drive on the ship to portal away. Do you understand?”

“Not really,” I said.

Maris-To sighed, as if he were sorry he wasted that speech on me.

“Shelter doomed that entire solar system. Every single ship in it. Every single person. Every single organism. Without Portals, they face a long, slow extinction. They are cut off from the rest of the galaxy for all time. That is a dreadnaught. What are heraldry and credits in the face of such power?”

“What about the immigration?” I asked.

Maris-To smiled.

“Baubles and trinkets to the other nobles. New money will always clamor for the unimportant. Let them have it. However, the influx of newly-minted citizens helped me disguise the repair of Shelter.”

“And did you murder Ray’Ziel?”

“I don’t know who killed him,” Maris-To stated firmly. “It may have been you for all I know.”

This really surprised me.

“But you tried to stop the investigation,” I said.

“I assumed one of the other Councilmen had hired the assassin because of Ray’Ziel’s opposition to immigration. I didn’t want a scandal. I had started the repairs of Shelter before Ray’Ziel died, but they went slowly and there was always the risk of discovery. With him gone, there was no one left to pay the residents of Education Sector. So I hired them and siphoned off the appropriate technical experts to rebuild Shelter in earnest.”

“What about the Ontakians?” I asked.

“Who?”

“The bald…the Ontakians,” I repeated.

But if Maris-To knew them, he didn’t let on.

“Now, I’m afraid, there is one more thing that must be done.”

Maris-To stood up, wiped his mouth, and walked over to the Governor, who had not moved this whole time.

“Is he dead?” I asked.

“No, you paralyzed him, though,” Maris-To said.

“Me?”

Maris-To twiddled his gloved fingers.

“I poisoned your hands when we greeted each other at your home. I was aware no weapons would be able to directly harm a mutant of his strength. During this dinner alone who knows how frequently he stopped time searching for danger. It’s how he knew you were carrying weapons. He may even have been in your apartment watching you. But his abilities also made him complacent.”

Maris-To reached for the Governor’s silverware.

“I think a pudding spoon is appropriate.”

He jabbed at the old Governor’s throat until it began to bleed copiously.

“Stop!” I yelled.

I dropped my trays and hurried over.

The Governor slumped over and as I rounded up on Maris-To, he turned on me.

“Wait,” he said.

I stopped.

“You have a choice to make. Though in all honesty, it’s not a very big choice. You can fight for your life, or you can die,” he said.

“Fight you?” I asked, thoroughly confused.

“The security apparatus in this building, because you killed Vorrin-Gortail,” Maris-To stated calmly.

“You killed him!”

“But no one will believe your word over mine. And there is the poor Governor,” he pointed.

I took a few more steps.

“Wait,” he said again, and moved his hand by the armrest of Vorrin-Gortail’s chair. “This will call in his servants and you will have to choose. You are obviously armed. You are known, if you are known at all, as a ruffian.”

“You brought me here to be the fall guy!”

“Restoring Shelter would have been meaningless if a person who could stop time was still alive and hostile to me. However, it was an enormous gamble trying to kill Vorrin-Gortail. I had the poison on those gloves months ago and laid misdirection everywhere. But yes, I knew that even if I killed him, I wouldn’t get away. But you can.”

“What if I just kill you?” I asked, taking another step.

“Then you will be discovered with a dead Governor and dead City Councilman and face the wrath of our combined forces. If you can make it out of this building, I will be able to protect you. I simply can’t here, obviously.”

He was right. I had no choice.

“What are you going to do?” I asked, defeated.

“I’ll give you a five-minute head start, assuming no servants come ahead of time. I’ll say you knocked me unconscious. Then you had best try and escape,” he said politely.

I didn’t know this building, but if we had taken the fastest way up, it would require a lot longer than five minutes to get out. I wanted to twist Maris-To’s head off, but he was right. If I murdered him I would look awful suspicious standing here armed head-to-toe with grenades. Certainly no one would believe Vorrin-Gortail and Maris-To killed each other simultaneously.

“Alright,” I said. I wanted to add something like, “you’ll owe me,” or “you’ll pay for this,” but he still had his hand on that call button and my life still depended on him, so I merely walked toward the exit.

I threw open the doors and saw two waiters standing ready, and behind them, along both sides of the hallway, were what looked like thirty armed soldiers.

CHAPTER 68

I panicked immediately but forced myself to keep walking.

Against my better judgement I made eye contact with one of the waiters and could tell he was confused as to why I was in the hallway alone. His mouth cracked open and he was about to ask me a question when I tilted my head forward and ignored him.

I unfocused my eyes as I walked past the gauntlet of soldiers whose hot breath was about to detonate my grenade suit.

Only my footsteps were audible as I clunked down the passageway.

I pretended like I knew where I was going and my purpose was beyond the questioning of mere servants.

I turned a corner and there were even more soldiers. They snapped to attention and pressed their backs against the wall when I came into view. I had no idea how many guards there were, but certainly a lot.

Man, Vorrin-Gortail had been a pretty paranoid guy. Of course, he had just been murdered via spoon, so I guess he had good reason.

I was about to hit the first stairwell down when I felt a shift by my right elbow and a loud metallic bang.

I looked down stupidly as a grenade rolled across the floor and bumped into the boot of a soldier. He reached down and picked it up.

I stood there petrified.

“Sir,” he said, as he held it out to me.

But then recognition slowly dawned on his face as he noticed what was in his hand.

Red lights flashed against the ceiling and an alarm sounded.

I reached out and activated the grenade the soldier was holding and shouldered my way into the stairwell.

I heard the muffled Poom of the concussion grenade exploding behind me as I tripped and stumbled down the stairs. Grenades were flying everywhere as my uncontrolled descent wrenched them free from my suit.

I opened the door at the next floor and ran out, expecting another hallway of troops. There was no one here, but the hall was lit with red warning lights.

There would be people soon enough.

My Gravitonic gun had been in the center of my back along my spine and I ripped it out and powered it on. This caused two grenades to fall at my feet.

I picked one up and primed it and rolled it down the hall in front of me.

Sure enough, a side door opened and someone stepped into the hall when the grenade went off and the poor guy got blasted back into the room he came from.

Actually, I think that was just a domestic servant, not a guard.

Maybe I should save my munitions for people actually looking to do me harm and not buff the floors.

I tried to think how I was going to get down twenty or thirty stories that were chock full of soldiers when I realized, I didn’t need to think.

I ducked into the first room I saw and took out my tele.

“Cliston, help! The Governor has been murdered by Maris-To. I’m being blamed. I’m stuck in the building just under some big room with a big table. How do I get out of here? How would their security react? You wrote the book on this, right?”

“That would be the Grand Ballroom, sir.”

“No, it had a table. Nothing but a table,” I said.

“They can put tables in ballrooms, sir.”

“Whatever. It was just one big room. What should I do?”

“If they are truly following protocol they will block the stairs and turn off the elevators. You won’t have access to any windows either for at least five stories.”

“That’s got to be some kind of fire hazard,” I complained.

“As I recall, that building was one of the first super mansions. They had a problem with its considerable waste output. There should be four large trash chutes at the four corners. They go straight to the bottom,” Cliston said.

“I’m not going to jump down twenty stories! I’ve got a bad track record with falling off buildings.”

“There are baffles every few stories to prevent the trash from accelerating to dangerous levels. The waste was put in specialized bins. However, I don’t know what is at the bottom. How did the suit work?”

“What? Oh. Fine. Fine,” I said.

“What food did the Governor serve?”

“Cliston! Where are the entrances to the chutes? What do they look like?”

“I’m not sure, they could have changed them. It would be in the wall and probably as inconspicuous as possible. Perhaps behind an art installation. Did he have wine or alcohol?”

“Both. Like everything. It was a huge table. Tons of food. It was pretty good. Alright, I’m going to find these chutes if I can. I want you to call Delovoa. Tell him to scan Shelter. The dreadnaught. Scan it for the Ontakians. Maris-To is trying to get the ship functioning again and I think the Ontakians may be there. That would be bad.”

“I’m not trying to divert your attentions, sir, but if you can, ask their butler for a menu of tonight’s dinner,” Cliston asked.

I hung up.

I walked into the hallway and three guards almost collided with me.

My gun was powered on. It looked and sounded scary. I had grenades poking out of my suit all over. I was an intimidating guy who had apparently just murdered the Governor of Belvaille.

The three guards had likely been expecting to be the rear of a fight, not slam headfirst into me.

I thought briefly about asking them where the trash chutes were, but didn’t think they would tell me. I also didn’t think they would let me walk away.

So I raised my gun and fired.

The blast must have clipped two and they spun into the third because they all went flying a good distance.

I caught up to them while they were stunned. I reached down and took their rifles.

The first weird painting I came to I knocked off the wall to see if it covered a trash chute.

Nope.

I pushed over a statue.

I pulled the cables from a suspended diorama and it came crashing down, blocking my way.

As I was crawling through the wreckage I heard some soldiers run up behind me. One of them yelled.

“He hates artwork!”

Two soldiers began firing at me, and I cursed as I became entangled in the cables and guns and my bulky suit. What was I doing with these rifles? This building probably had a million guns in it. Did I think taking three of them was going to make my trip easier?

I let go of the guns as I tried to crawl over the shattered diorama but it didn’t help. I finally tore out one of the grenades by my ankle and tossed it a little bit behind me.

Poom!

The blast didn’t clear the debris so much as push it forward in front of me. But it flattened it somewhat and was easier to get over. It also scared the hell out of the soldiers who backed off in case I threw another.

I came to a four-way junction and realized I had no idea where in the building I was. How would I find the corner, let alone some tastefully hidden trash depots which may or may not exist?

I figured I would keep going straight until I couldn’t go straight any longer and then I would turn. That should take me to a corner eventually.

Behind me, two guards appeared, Central Officers, and, like Central Officers, gave me warnings.

“Stop or we’ll shoot!”

I turned around and shot one in the legs with my Gravitonic gun. He smashed his face into the floor with a crack and then slid down the hall a good five feet. The other C.O. decided not to shoot but instead got into cover.

This Gravitonic gun sure was useful. But it wasn’t going to keep charged with how quickly they were coming. I had one shot left and then a three minute downtime where I’d have to rely on my charm and good looks.

The hall ended at a stairwell. Nothing to do but go down so I went down.

In the enclosed stairs, I heard some men coming up. And then I saw them. Four, five, six, seven soldiers.

They all stopped when they noticed me at the door.

A few got off shots, but they didn’t have unobstructed aim and were positioned awkwardly on the stairs.

I tossed down a grenade and they all panicked and tried to push past and over each other to get out of the way.

Poom!

Ouch. Those guys got hammered. Even up here that hurt my ears.

I picked my way through them and one even shot me—right on the side of my head. I guess he had escaped most of the blast. I stepped on his chest with one foot, waited for him to yell and drop his pistol, then picked it up.

“Quit it,” I said. Though I’m not sure why I said that. It’s not as if he was going to go, “Oh, I thought you wanted to be shot in the head. My mistake.”

I exited the stairwell and then discarded the pistol, which was too small for my hand and I was too clumsy to use.

Did my Gravitonic gun keep charging at two shots or did I have to use all three? I don’t think I had ever asked Delovoa that before. I could shoot now and start it charging. Or it might already be charging and I shouldn’t waste a shot.

At the next junction I decided to go right. I thought I was getting the hang of the layout.

There was art everywhere and I knocked it all over and pushed it down and ripped it up. Anything on the walls that could be dismantled, I dismantled. It was probably the most economic damage I had directly caused in my life and I was doing it to try and find some trash cans.

I faced another stairwell and decided to go down. I knew there were soldiers behind me and didn’t feel backtracking was wise.

I was skidding through the halls when I saw some C.O.’s in front of me.

I fired and missed. I looked at my Gravitonic gun, which made that distinctive powering-down noise, and reckoned I had three minutes to kill.

The C.O.’s fired around the corner at me, not aiming very well in their haste.

I primed and rolled a grenade at them, but it went past and blew up further down the hall.

“I got plenty more grenades,” I warned.

But they didn’t care and kept popping out and taking shots.

I sighed and jogged over to them.

As bullets hit me and failed to cause me much concern, they grew more alarmed as to the proper course of action. This situation was clearly not in Cliston’s handbook.

“Where are the trash chutes?” I asked.

If I had started doing spoken word poetry right at that moment, their reactions likely would have been the same. They stared at me with their mouths ajar. One shot me, I think just to make sure I wasn’t a hallucination.

“Give me your guns,” I demanded.

But their training kicked back in and they held them firmly at their sides. The one who shot me actually put his pistol behind his back, like I wouldn’t notice it.

Why was everything so difficult?

I took a grenade out from my left armpit. I primed and dropped it at my feet.

The Central Officers only had a few seconds to scramble before the explosion.

But I had underestimated the effects of a concussion grenade between my ankles.

I was hurled through the air and knocked on my back. But more importantly, except for tatters, nearly all my clothes were blown off my body.

Grenades were strewn up the adjacent hall, rolling at high velocity away from me.

“Nertz!” I said, as I hurried after them.

I took what was left of my coat, which had survived in the back because it was protected by my chest, and I fashioned a make-shift pouch. I scooped up three nearby grenades.

So I had three grenades, an unpowered Gravitonic gun, my underwear, a collar with tie, and cuffs and cufflinks. If I had been intimidating before, now I was…odd-looking.

But you didn’t always have to scare people. Confusing them worked just as well.

I was still going after my grenades when I saw a well-formed group of armored security come into view ahead of me. There must have been ten of them and I saw at least one heavy machinegun barrel poking up to the ceiling.

I ducked back around the corner thinking about whether I should use my last grenades on them. The lights popped on my Gravitonic gun, indicating it was charged, and I shrugged.

I stepped back around the corner to see the security had double-timed forward, thinking I was retreating. To see me standing in the center of the hall, all underwear-y and calm, having just killed the Governor, gave them pause.

I turned on the Gravitonic gun, which really was a terrifying sound, and I set it to full power.

I strolled forward, letting them soak it all in. I probably looked like an incredibly ugly and well-armed exotic dancer.

“Form up,” one of the men yelled.

But I wasn’t about to let them get into positions.

I kneeled down and fired my Gravitonic gun. They must have been about thirty or forty feet away. It was like a giant invisible hand punched through the guards. The poor unfortunates in the center of their formation became projectiles. They hit the far walls or hallway intersections. Others just tumbled for what looked like a hundred feet or so.

Now my Gravitonic gun was uncharged again.

I jogged through the guards I had just scattered but the ones not directly hit were already regaining their footing.

I sighed.

“You know, sometimes the best move is to play dead,” I said.

I threw back a concussion grenade and the explosion in the narrow hallway was enough to knock the enthusiasm out of the last go-getters of the bunch.

Two grenades left.

I saw a shotgun on the ground and picked it up. It must have come from one of the guards who had rolled. It was a long barrel pump action and would be perfect for hunting birds. I tried to get my finger in it while holding my Gravitonic gun and my remaining grenades.

The shotgun discharged and the blast hit the wall next to me, which scarred a scenic mural. This probably confirmed to the guards that I was some kind of madman/dancer/art critic.

I cycled the shotgun, reloading it, and continued jogging.

I was getting hungry.

I’d been shot a few times and kicked a grenade and presumably handled poison. While it wasn’t a lot of damage—nothing like I’d experienced in the past months—I was still hungry. I wish I had eaten more at dinner. He had so much amazing food prepared.

As I was trying to remember the menu for Cliston, I got hit in the head with what felt like a meteor and I was suddenly looking at the ceiling.

I reached up groggily and felt a smashed anti-materiel round on my forehead.

And blood.

Lots of blood.

Someone was sniping me.

I put my left hand over most of my face and tried to look up from my supine position.

Just then I got shot in the jaw and my head bounced off the floor like a spring.

“Ouch!”

My teeth! My new teeth! If he shot out my teeth I’ll kill him. I swear it!

I couldn’t feel my jaw. But I knew that I was bleeding from all over my head now and had probably lost some chunks of tissue.

I also knew that tactically, lying on my back wasn’t really the best position to be in. I should probably move.

I activated both grenades and threw them past my feet. I had no idea where the enemy was, but I was in a building. It’s not like he was shooting me from space. He likely wasn’t in Hank-throwing range, but he still would see two grenades coming and a prudent man might take cover.

I hoped he was a prudent man as I rolled onto my belly and got to my hands and knees. I was in a pile of blood and my head genuinely hurt.

I was facing the wrong direction from wherever my attacker was when I looked up and saw it:

The trash chute.

I mean, it was right there. There was even a big pile of trash next to it in a scraped and damaged square metal bin. I’d have to tell Cliston that they just left their trash cans out in the open, brimming with garbage. He’d be appalled.

I’ll run for it, I reasoned. I pushed up and took off.

Without turning, I fired behind me with the shotgun, hitting the ceiling maybe five feet away and doing nothing whatsoever except proving you shouldn’t do that with a shotgun.

I waved around my uncharged Gravitonic gun to be cool and hopefully frighten my assailant.

I heard the loud choom of the sniper rifle, but I couldn’t tell where it was. It missed, thankfully.

As I neared the chute I noticed it was closed and was positioned higher than I thought. About chest height. It was also much narrower than it looked from afar.

I got to it, opened it, and was going to jump in, but without constant pressure, it just closed again. So I had to hold it open with one hand.

I let the door close and tipped over the trash bin next to me so I could stand on it.

Choom!

I got shot square in the chest. Right on the sternum!

“Ow!”

I sunk almost to my knees. I was certain it fractured something. I was getting “lucky” in that it was mostly hitting bones. If that gun hit any soft tissue it could do some serious damage. It was designed for shooting armored vehicles.

I stepped on the bin and it crunched and bent under my feet as I opened the chute door again. I dropped my guns and I was alternately trying to cover myself and climb into the chute.

I was failing pretty hard at both.

I decided to just go for it and pull myself with both hands, going headfirst.

Down I went and…clunk! My head hit the back of the chute and my shoulders got wedged inside.

My lower body was hanging outside and I was kicking my legs around to try and get some momentum.

“Crap!”

I couldn’t see anything. My arms were pressed firmly to my sides and with every kick of my legs I felt like a vise was tightening on me.

My panic really shifted into full gear as I not only feared death, I feared a really ridiculous death.

Choom!

I got shot in the right thigh as I kicked.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!”

Now I was really pumping. I twisted. I bucked. I banged my head against the chute.

Inch-by-inch I managed to get swallowed by the metal tube. Probably only my feet and ankles were outside and I could feel the door trying to close on me.

Choom!

I got shot in the ankle bone. That part that sticks out. It hurt more than my head.

I thrashed more but I wasn’t making any progress. I paused a second to think.

Using extreme concentration, and against what my adrenaline told me, I exhaled and tried to make myself as compact and calm as possible. I slipped forward ever so slightly.

Clunk.

I heard the chute door close behind me and I was in absolute darkness. I still hadn’t moved much and it would be a small matter for the sniper to walk down the hall, open the chute, and put his rifle against my head. Well, he probably couldn’t reach my head, but he could shoot his way to it from below and I’d be unable to prevent him.

I was taking little half-breaths because I was incapable of breathing deeply. I was light-headed.

I wanted to call Cliston and tell him he was fired but I was incapable of moving more than a finger.

I heard the tell-tale sound of the chute door opening and I knew this was it.

I was going to die in a trash can.

But then I heard a distant banging. And then the door closing again. Then more banging, more, more.

And then I was hit by a high velocity barrel of trash.

Whatever condition of stuck I had been in was instantly erased as I went screaming down the chute.

I could feel the air whipping at my face I was going so fast.

Then I encountered what Cliston must have referred to as the baffles. They were just rubber obstructions across the chute that I smacked into and I suppose were designed to slow the progress of the trash bins.

They worked, at the cost of running into hard rubber roadblocks again and again.

I had just enough time to wonder where I was going and where this would end when my shoulder hit a hard metal bar and I stopped completely.

“Ow,” I said, but my heart wasn’t in it.

My head poked out of the bottom of the chute and I saw a massive pile of trash maybe ten feet beneath me.

The trash bin that had been following me now decided to hit my feet again and I was rammed out of the chute and landed on the heap of garbage.

The bin above, locked onto the metal bar, swung, dumped its trash on me, and then with its last momentum, spun off into a pile of similar bins to the side.

I curled up on the garbage with the idea of going to sleep. Or passing out. What was the difference, really?

“Sir?” I heard a voice call to me. I didn’t recognize it and didn’t see where it came from. But this room, wherever I was, was fairly dark.

It seemed foolish to answer.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“I’m your driver,” the man said.

I had just been hit in the head a lot of times in the very recent past and I assumed he meant like, something that drives you. Inspiration.

“Huh?” I asked, confused.

“I’m Eathion.”

“Yeah?” I said. I didn’t know the name and it confirmed I shouldn’t have answered him to begin with. But presumably he saw me sitting here, so me not answering wouldn’t really do much. It’s not like ignoring him would make me invisible.

“Eathion, sir. I’m your driver,” he repeated.

“Driver for what?” I asked, annoyed. This guy was keeping me awake now.

“Your car. One of your drivers, in any case. I work for Cliston, sir. I’ve driven you for the last three months.”

“Oh! My limo driver. I thought…never mind. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Cliston sent me to get you.”

“In my car? They’ll never let us out.”

“I have a Central Authority vehicle. I believe MTB provided it. You can hide in the trunk.”

“Well…yeah. Then that’s fine,” I said, trying to climb off of the garbage pile.

I really didn’t feel like walking, but whatshisname couldn’t carry me. He had a Central Officer uniform and everything.

I fell into the trunk without problem, but it took quite a lot of effort to get me situated enough where we could close it.

I felt the car pull away and I drifted to sleep to the rhythm of the tires.

I supposed I wouldn’t be firing Cliston after all.

CHAPTER 69

“Wake up!” Garm yelled.

I was still in the trunk of the Central Authority car. Cliston, the driver, and Garm were tugging at me to try and get me out and into my home. They would probably have an easier time pushing my house on top of me.

“Cliston, food,” I ordered.

“Put it in the back seat. Maybe he’ll eat his way out,” Garm said.

“Has the Governor really been murdered?” Cliston asked.

“Yup.”

“You saw it with your own eyes?” Garm asked.

“No, I borrowed someone else’s,” I said, upset that she was yanking on my shoulders despite a trunkful of blood.

“Did the Ontakians kill him?” she asked.

“I don’t think Maris-To knows about the Ontakians,” I said.

“So who killed Vorrin-Gortail? Don’t tell me you did,” Garm said.

“No. Maris-To. With a spoon.”

“That’s impossible. The Governor was a level-eight mutant,” she said.

“Didn’t save him,” I said.

“Who is running the System?” Cliston asked.

“I’ve been sitting in a trunk and a very tight trash chute, Cliston, how should I know?”

“Delovoa said he doesn’t want to scan the dreadnaught. It’s the same size as Belvaille and if we waste all our cycles on it we won’t have time to scan the city,” Garm said.

“I don’t care. Tell him to scan Shelter. Maris-To is restoring it,” I said.

“Sir, you need to come inside. We can’t stand in the street talking to you in the back of a Central Authority vehicle,” Cliston stated.

“Why not?” I challenged.

But I let them drag me out and helped as much as I could.

“Why are you always naked and bloody?” Garm asked.

“I’m a militant nudist.”

I fell on the ground and my front door seemed miles away. But I managed to crawl inside, where Cliston made me comfortable, bandaged me, and brought me food.

Garm was in contact with MTB, Malla, and Delovoa.

Malla reported there was definitely something in the air at the Festival. People were nervous and kept their security details close. When we told her the Governor was dead, she wasn’t surprised. Hints of it, if not the actual specifics, must have leaked all through the party.

“I think the Festival is going to break up early and they might move to reclaim the telescopes,” Malla said.

“We’ll be here a few hours after the last people leave. If Malla can hold a big enough group near us, we’ll be forced to keep the telescopes closed,” MTB said.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Malla replied.

I was lying in bed eating when Garm came in.

“What’s Maris-To going to do with Shelter?”

“I doubt he’s going to turn it into a farm colony. What else can you do with it except blow up ships?”

“It has an a-drive. The only remaining ship with one,” Garm said.

“Oh, yeah. He mentioned something about that.”

“See? That’s kind of important, Hank. What else did he say?”

“I can’t remember. Look at my head. I’m lucky I’m still able to form complete sentences.”

“What hit you?”

“Something big.”

“No, seriously. If we’re going to fight the other Ontakians, I want to know what they are resistant to.”

“It was either a really accurate recoilless rifle or an anti-materiel sniper rifle. Those are my guesses.”

Garm slumped.

“I’m going to have to redraw some of our attack diagrams if that’s true.”

“Why? Are you carrying a recoilless rifle?”

“Hey, Shelter is active,” Delovoa said on the tele.

“I told you that,” I said.

“No, you didn’t. You said scan it,” he replied.

“What’s active? We knew people were living there,” Garm said.

“The engines. You don’t need engines and the power core if you just want to turn it into a habitat,” Delovoa stated.

“What about the weapons?” Garm asked.

“It doesn’t look like it, but I can’t be certain,” he said.

“Can you tell if the Ontakians are there?” I asked.

“It’s a huge ship. I just made some really general scans. It will take a lot of hours to—oh, wait, there they are,” he said.

“Really?” Garm asked.

“Well, I just saw two moving regions of unscannable space on the ship.”

“Where are they specifically?” Garm asked.

“How should I know? I don’t have a dreadnaught blueprint handy,” Delovoa said.

Garm muted her tele for a moment and whispered to me.

“Has Delovoa gotten a lot snarkier since he chopped himself apart?” she asked.

“Not really,” I answered.

“Can you tell where they’re headed in a general sense?” Garm asked, after unmuting her tele.

“No, I don’t have them on scan any more. I only have three telescopes under my control and they weren’t designed for tracking small objects like this.”

Garm looked to me.

“We should go to Shelter,” she said.

I nearly spit out my food. Nearly. But I wasn’t wasting calories on my floor.

“That seems like a really horrible idea,” I said. “Even at full strength I wasn’t in any shape to fight them and now I’m…” I indicated my reclined posture.

“You have Delovoa’s big torch, right?” she asked.

“So? Who knows what they have. More bombs, probably.”

“Hank, there are Ontakians over there on a somewhat operational dreadnaught. The most powerful warship in the galaxy.”

“A Boranjame ship would crush it like a bug,” I countered.

“Do you have a Boranjame world-ship handy?” she asked.

“Look, we don’t even know if the weapons are active on Shelter. And even if they are, it must take a crew of thousands to fly a dreadnaught,” I said, terrified of leaving my very comfortable bed.

“Tens of thousands, actually. But it doesn’t matter,” Garm said. “What if they just fly away? Our whole fleet couldn’t stop it. What if they a-drived? If Shelter falls into the hands of the Ontakians, they could repair it and eventually destroy this entire System and everything in it—including you and your fat mouth!” She said, slapping at my hand as I shoved more food down my throat.

“Maris-To has been working to get Shelter restored. He’s certainly not going to blow up Belvaille,” I said.

“But you said Maris-To didn’t know about the Ontakians. Maybe they have been using him. Maybe their goal from the start was to get Shelter restored and commandeer it.”

“Then…we would be in trouble,” I said weakly.

It actually did seem like a very real and frightening possibility as I thought it over.

“We have to go,” Garm demanded.

“At least get Malla and MTB to help us,” I pleaded.

“They have to keep up their part. Shelter is the size of a city. A big city. We won’t be able to find the Ontakians without those telescopes.”

“I don’t want to find them,” I grumbled.

“It’s better we meet them now. Even if Maris-To is best friends with the Ontakians, nothing good can come from anyone having control of that ship,” Garm said.

CHAPTER 70

“Chin up, sir,” Cliston said to me.

“I almost got my chin blown off a few hours ago. I’m trying to keep it tucked away.”

“Then good luck, sir,” he amended.

I had all my equipment, which mostly consisted of Delovoa’s torch. I had lost my Gravitonic gun at the Governor’s. I carried the last grenades from my armory, a knapsack of tools, and a lot of food.

I drank about a gallon of coffee to try and counteract my lethargy, but it wasn’t working.

Garm was in her infiltration outfit. It appeared to be black, unadorned fabric, but I had seen that every possible surface held some hidden pocket with a weapon. She wore a tiny backpack and carried two thick pistols, one on each thigh. Both were different models.

“What are pistols going to do against those guys?” I asked her, on seeing the guns.

“Didn’t you view the diagrams?” she said.

I didn’t remember any diagrams where her pistols suddenly turned into pulsars capable of actually hurting the Ontakians.

“Cliston, if I don’t come back, give all my stuff to MTB. So he has to pay taxes on it,” I said.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine, sir. In any case, your will is made out to the city of Belvaille itself,” he said.

“Still? I guess I haven’t updated it in a while.”

“I could change it for you if you like, sir. I possess the legal credentials,” he said.

I stared at him.

“If I get back, we need to talk about just where the hell you came from, Cliston.”

“As you wish, sir.”

Garm and I drove to the port with me yawning and eating the whole way.

When we got there, I called Zzzho to pick us up.

“Is that a Keilvin Kamigan?” Garm asked, peering inside the ship.

“Yeah,” I said.

She looked at the beat up taxi and did not seem happy.

“Come on, he flies me all the time,” I said.

We got in and disembarked.

“Zzzho,” I spat, “have you taken any fares to Shelter lately?”

“Sure. Lots of people coming and going now. I guess they’re using it for apartments,” he buzzed.

“A lot of Tech people?” Garm asked.

“Sure. They had to fix it up first,” he said.

It was all plausible. Not even a cabbie who was used to flying around Shelter was suspicious.

“Who do they report to?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Not sure if it would be Housing or Tech or what. And Ray’Ziel is dead anyway,” he said.

No one would know they were fully restoring the dreadnaught until it was well along. And then Maris-To would have only the most trustworthy of his engineers handle things from then on.

MTB teled from the Festival.

“They are recalling all the C.O.’s. We have to abandon the telescopes,” he said.

“Recalling you to where?” Garm asked.

“To headquarters. Get this, it’s by order of the Governor,” he said.

Garm turned to me.

“Is it possible you were wrong about him?” she asked me.

“No way. Spoons don’t lie. Malla should also leave. It could get dicey there without MTB’s Central Authority protection,” I said.

“Malla can take care of herself,” Garm replied coolly.

“Aren’t you supposed to be all grandmotherly and concerned?” I asked her.

“She’s a way better fighter than I am,” Garm answered.

“Oh.”

“Hey, you guys seeing that?” Zzzho asked us.

“What?” Garm answered.

We looked outside the taxi and could see some bright flashes in the distance. It didn’t appear to be normal lights from ships.

“What is that?” I asked.

Suddenly, a huge light briefly flared and vanished. It bathed our ship and monetarily blinded us.

“That was a freighter exploding,” Zzzho said.

“How?” Garm asked.

“The Central Authority ships are attacking vessels. Look around,” he said.

We were strapped pretty tight in the taxi, and it wasn’t exactly designed for sightseeing, but there were flashes of light in every direction we looked.

“There is an order being broadcast that all ships need to cease movement or dock. I’m making for the nearest ship,” Zzzho said.

“No. Take us to Shelter,” Garm stated.

“Look around, lady. We aren’t going to make it. I’m not going to ignore the Central Authority when they’ve already shown they’re willing to blow up vessels,” Zzzho said.

“But they’re doing it for a reason. This is a power struggle amongst the nobles. You’re just a taxi,” Garm said.

“Exactly! It would take them one shot to pop this shuttle,” Zzzho buzzed.

“Maybe we should dock, Garm,” I said.

“Hank, if we dock now, that will be it. We’ll be stuck wherever we land until the other Councilmen take control. This will all be for nothing,” Garm urged.

“I don’t know what you guys are up to, and I don’t want to know, but I’m not ready to die,” Zzzho said.

“We aren’t targets. We’re just a cab. They are taking out the assets and support of the City Councilmen who aren’t supporting the coup,” Garm said.

“Yeah, but you’re taking a big risk. What if a destroyer shoots us just to be safe?” I asked.

“They won’t. I know how the military works,” she said.

“You knew how the Navy of the old Colmarian Confederation worked,” I countered.

“Do it, we’re running out of time,” she said, as another flash blinded us.

“Okay,” I agreed.

“You guys better be right,” Zzzho stated as worriedly as a gas cloud could sound.

There was a lightshow of more ships being destroyed as we made our way silently to Shelter. An hour passed quietly when Zzzho spoke up.

“I’m being hailed. They got a damn cruiser sitting right by the dreadnaught!”

“Don’t answer,” Garm said.

“What? They’ll never let us by!” He answered.

“No, they’ll look up your ship and the owner and see it’s a Keilvin Kamigan pilot. Then they’ll start asking around to try and figure out if you even have the ability to answer the radio. Then we’ll dock,” she said.

“That’s a cruiser!” He repeated. “Its spotlights probably have enough wattage to incinerate us.”

“Shelter is now the closest ship to us, right? We’re just docking like they ordered. Unless they expect us to dock with them,” I said.

The radio kept beeping for ten minutes as we flew closer.

Even Garm was wiping sweat from her brow.

“Do Keilvin Kamigan pray to gods?” I asked Zzzho.

“No, but the quasar JN48223-7077 is the patron star of all cab drivers,” he said.

“Why is that?” Garm asked.

“How should I know? I didn’t invent the occupation.”

I kept eating. No need to die hungry.

“You’re making a mess,” Garm complained, as my low-gravity munching scattered crumbs all over her black outfit.

“Docking initiating!” Zzzho said.

When the final procedures completed, we exhaled so hard we almost blew poor Zzzho out of his own cab.

CHAPTER 71

I had been on a dreadnaught before, hundreds of years ago when the Colmarian Confederation still existed.

To say a dreadnaught was large was an understatement.

Shelter had seemingly countless docking bays. It was able to dock, in a limited fashion, battleships—which didn’t even exist anymore.

It was a city.

An armed city, capable of destroying other cities.

The Colmarian Confederation hadn’t invented much of significance in its countless millennia of existence. In fact, historians may skip it completely when documenting the galaxy. The only things the empire created of value were Portals, mutations, the old-style teles, and dreadnaughts.

Still, Shelter had seen better days. Its damage was apparent all across its exterior of course, but also in the interior. Half the docking bays were inoperable and much of the equipment inside had been destroyed.

You could see damage from a hundred thousand missiles and lasers and projectiles everywhere. It was actually awe-inspiring, because despite the damage, the ship still hummed. There was literally a persistent background noise that proved this thing was still alive.

We asked Zzzho if he could remain in his taxi. He would be our getaway if we needed one. He didn’t want to come inside, because he guessed we were up to something dangerous, and he certainly wasn’t going to disembark with a cruiser sitting right there. So he was quite happy to stay put.

“Delovoa? How are you coming with those scans? We aren’t going to find those Ontakians just skipping around,” I said.

“If MTB is leaving, I may lose control of the telescopes and then you’ll have no choice,” he said.

“The Festival is being attacked,” Malla said via tele.

“Who?” Garm asked.

“Looks like…Maris-To’s forces, Onan Roan’s, Gaktus’. Three of the City Councilmen,” she said.

“Everyone except Trade and Tech,” Garm said.

“Wait, looks like some of Onan Roan’s nobles are being attacked too. I’m withdrawing. I’ll report when I have a safer location. Out,” Malla said.

“MTB, you still there?” I asked.

No answer.

“We have the telescopes for the moment. I’ll keep scanning,” Delovoa said.

Garm and I decided to walk.

Even though there were countless elevators and moving floors and stairs and rooms, there were an equal number of heavy security doors that absolutely crisscrossed the ship. We didn’t have a whole lot of choices on where we could go.

“This is how they segregate access. These damn security airlocks can be used to make sure no one goes into areas where they aren’t authorized,” Garm said.

“Yeah, like us. Can’t you pick the locks?” I asked her, as we stood in front of the insanely complicated high-tech doors.

“No. Can’t you bash them open?” she asked.

I tapped it with my finger. It was probably three feet of steel. We’d have an easier time going through the walls.

“No,” I said. “What are the chances of us running into the Ontakians while taking these low security hallways?”

“If Maris-To didn’t know about the Ontakians, they might be limited to the same paths we are.”

“Just because he didn’t know they were Ontakians didn’t mean they weren’t working for him in another capacity and have access to these doors. I saw them at his party and I doubt they could have gotten in without invitations.”

“Well, then we need to scan them. We’re not going to wander around a dreadnaught for a month,” Garm said.

I kept eating while we were walking, but this annoyed Garm.

“Stop it,” she said.

“It’s helping me heal. You want me healed, right?”

Malla called us.

“It’s a purge. I saw them pluck a half-dozen nobles out of the Festival and put them under arrest. If their security resisted, they were attacked. I don’t see the Central Authority anywhere,” she said.

“Well, they’re all over the Sectors destroying ships. Even freighters,” I said.

“Could you see which ships?” she asked.

“No, they were too far away,” Garm said. “You should report to the Quadrad everything you saw.”

“I already did,” she answered.

That kind of annoyed me. We got second pick at her information.

“Delovoa, any news?” I asked.

“You know, with my advanced scientific skills I’m quite capable of using a tele. I will call you if I find anything,” he answered.

“Jerk,” I said, after hanging up.

“Guys?” Delovoa called back immediately.

“Yes?” Garm answered.

“Shelter is moving.”

CHAPTER 72

We were running down the halls trying every door we could find.

We didn’t know where we were running, but we knew we couldn’t walk any more.

Food was flying out of my pockets. At least I’d be able to find my way back if I needed to.

Garm was a good three corridors ahead of me in short order. She was much faster than I was. She also wasn’t carrying Delovoa’s mega torch.

She suddenly turned back and I caught up with her.

“All the doors are locked ahead,” she said.

“We’ll have to take the elevators to some random floors I guess.”

About this time, one door back, a tubby scientist-looking man exited a room. He must have heard us—or me—stomping around and came out to see what it was.

Now he was concerned with what he saw and tried to duck back into the room.

Both Garm and I hurried over to him.

As I was thinking of some tough guy threats to spew, Garm grabbed him by the head.

She had a knife blade up each of his nostrils, one pressed against each of his eyes, and two fingers crisscrossed with knife blades inside the man’s mouth.

Whoa. I hadn’t gotten past, “hey, buddy,” in my mental speech before she had done all that. She had even twisted her legs in his to prevent him from moving.

“Hey, buddy,” I said, but that was all I had.

“Where is the flight control of this ship?” Garm asked.

The man couldn’t even blink and his mouth was full of knives.

“Ease up, Garm,” I said.

She glared at me. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to use her real name?

Garm swung her left leg up and kneed the man in the side while still maintaining her face-clamp.

The man grunted and looked like he really wanted to cooperate. If we were selling something, he was buying. Garm loosened her knives from his mouth.

“I don’t know any flight controls! I’m a ventilation engineer.”

“You seen any bald guys?” I asked.

“What?” he said.

Garm glared at me again.

“Where are the engines?” Garm asked, after kicking him in the right side.

“I don’t know! The back? I’ve never seen them,” he said.

I reached down and picked up a piece of food that had come out of my pocket. I brushed it off and began eating.

“How far does your security clearance get you in this ship?” she asked, after a brutal kick to the man’s stomach.

“I’m not sure. I swear. I’ve only been working here a week,” he pleaded.

“Give us your ID card and access code,” Garm said.

“770472047,” he said.

Garm looked at me as I was eating.

“Hmm? 7-what?” I said, wiping my hands.

I wrote it down on my tele after getting him to confirm it a few times.

The guy didn’t know much—except about ventilation. He had been working through an intermediary and assumed it was still Education Sector. He certainly didn’t know about Shelter moving.

I was about to give him another tough guy talk on keeping his mouth shut, but Garm just thwacked him on the base of the skull and he crumpled, unconscious.

“Do you know how to fly a dreadnaught?” she asked me.

“I don’t even know how to drive a car,” I said.

“So that’s a problem. If we stop who is behind it, we still can’t stop the ship.”

“That’s not the problem. Just because we can open more doors doesn’t mean this ship got any smaller. How do we find them?” I asked.

“We need Delovoa. Should we tele him again?” she asked.

“No. I don’t want him to get pissy and stop working,” I said.

“Would he do that knowing a dreadnaught is moving in the Sector adjacent to his home?”

“Oh, yeah.”

We unlocked door after door and moved randomly through the ship.

“Why don’t they have a directory anywhere?” I complained.

“Because it’s a military vessel not a shopping mall.”

We found two more engineers who didn’t know anything despite sharp blades inserted into their various orifices.

“Let me talk to the next guy,” I said.

“You could have talked to the others. Did you think they were lying to us?” she asked.

“No. But maybe not telling us everything. You come across differently than I do,” I said.

“What’s that mean?” she asked.

“Just watch.”

It took another fifteen or so minutes but we opened a door and found a guy in the hall ahead.

I held Garm back and stepped forward.

“Yo, buttwad!” I yelled, pointing at him.

The man immediately turned and ran.

“Hey,” I added.

Garm tried to get past me, but my bulk and the torch got in her way.

“Move, idiot!” she said.

I backed up and pivoted and did more harm than good. She finally scrambled between my legs and past, hurrying after the scientist.

He reached a spot on the wall and pulled a handle. The halls were bathed in blue lights and a rather annoying siren.

Garm knocked the man out a second too late.

She turned back at me and I was sure she was going to say something but she just gave me a smug look.

Which was a lot worse.

“See? It all worked out,” I said later.

Because of the lights and siren people began to flow from their workshops and labs and construction areas, assuming they had to evacuate the ship. We just had to catch them when they appeared and interrogate them.

I let Garm handle it.

We got a pile of ID cards and passcodes and a very rough approximation of the ship.

But our original guess was right. If the ship was moving, that could have been executed directly from the engines or from flight control. The two areas were hours apart in terms of distance.

“So, guys,” Delovoa called, “I think I figured out what Shelter is doing.”

“Yes?” I asked.

“It’s turning to face Belvaille.”

CHAPTER 73

Shelter didn’t move very fast. At least in its current state.

Delovoa guessed another hour or so for it to be aligned with Belvaille.

But then what? Was it going to shoot the station? Did it even have working weapons? Was it just a threat—an extension of the coup?

In any case, we classified the movement as “bad” and knew we had to try and do something about it if we could.

We figured we would likely find more and more security forces the deeper we went. It was all well and good to have nothing but engineers and mechanics out here in the far reaches, but whoever was behind this wasn’t going to repair the ship just to leave its controls undefended.

The other alternative was the Ontakians were behind it.

Either way was rough. Fighting through a few hundred soldiers or two super mutants to arrive at a bunch of systems we didn’t know the first thing about.

At least the siren stopped. Or more accurately, we outpaced it. A ship this size didn’t have one global alarm, or at least not one located in a hallway someone could pull. An accident in one room didn’t mean crap to people literally ten miles away across the vessel.

Still, it might have popped up on whatever monitoring display the ship possessed. We could only hope Shelter had a skeleton crew. I mean it had to, right? How many skilled dreadnaught sailors were left in existence?

“I’ve got more bad news,” Delovoa said.

We waited but he was silent.

“Just tell us!” I yelled.

“I picked up two unscannable areas in what I think are the main engine rooms.”

“The Ontakians,” I said.

“Not only that, but you guys are slowly accelerating,” he said.

“Accelerating turning?” Garm asked.

“No, forward.”

“Are we going to hit Belvaille?” I asked.

“Unless you got some really adventurous pilots on board who are just showing off, yes.”

“What will happen?” Garm asked.

“Well, it depends on how much faster you get. Shelter has a lot more mass than Belvaille. But Belvaille has a shield. If I had to place a wager, I’d say it would be a draw.”

“What’s a ‘draw’ mean?” I asked.

“Everyone dies,” he clarified.

“How long do we have?” Garm asked.

“I don’t know. At the speed you’re going now, probably a few days. But I think you only got one engine activated at low power. If the others get switched on and turned up, it could be a matter of hours.”

“Belvaille can move. It has thrusters. Can you get out of the way?” I asked.

“Belvaille’s speed makes that ship look like a beam of light by comparison. It’s only designed for small adjustments,” he said.

“Can you think of something else?” Garm implored.

“You want me to take out a ship that thousands of Navy capital ships couldn’t? And you want me to do it in a matter of hours? Sure. Do you want me to turn it into a puppy or a balloon using my mystical powers?”

“There’s nothing you can do?” I asked.

“I can tell you to turn off the engines or get it headed somewhere other than here,” Delovoa said.

“Okay, we’ll keep you informed,” Garm said, hanging up.

We knew the rough location of the engines from our numerous interrogations. It was just a matter of getting there. We waylaid a few more people along the way and coerced the most economical directions.

It took us seven elevator transfers, but we finally reached what we thought was it.

“Are you ready?” Garm asked me, her hand on the door.

“No.”

“Well then get ready,” she said through gritted teeth.

“No matter how much time I get, I still won’t be ready,” I said.

“Why are you complaining now? We’re about to go in and fight two incredibly difficult opponents. Why don’t you be more supportive? Now your crappy attitude is giving me doubts.”

“Goooo Garm,” I mock-chanted. “You didn’t have any doubts without me? You thought you were just going to walk in and slap those guys around with your girlie fists and it’s only my ‘attitude’ that’s bringing you down?”

Garm took her hand off the door to argue with me better.

“I worked out scenario after scenario we can use to our advantage—if you took the time to read them.”

“I did read them. They all assumed that we were awesome and they were terrible. Which my many injuries can attest, is not the case,” I said.

“Guys,” Delovoa interrupted.

“What?” Garm snapped into her tele.

“I might be able to partially change the course of the dreadnaught. But it won’t be easy.”

Pause.

“Well?” I asked.

“If I can activate all the Portals on one side and keep them open, I calculate it might be enough to move Shelter’s trajectory a few degrees.”

“You have that authority?” Garm asked, surprised.

“No. Only the Governor does. And last I heard he was dead. It would cause a lot of havoc in the Belvaille System and may even damage the Portals, but there’s a definite chance it could work,” Delovoa said.

“Would that be enough for it to miss Belvaille?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Then why does it matter?” Garm said.

“Because a direct hit is guaranteed death. A glancing hit might mean only half of us die. If you can turn off the engines or reverse them, Shelter just might ricochet off the shield.”

“Talk to Maris-To,” Garm said. “He’s probably the main person in charge of the coup. If anyone has the authority of the old Governor, it’s him.”

“No, have Malla talk to him,” I said. “Maris-To won’t talk to Delovoa. Also, ask MTB to put in a good word if he’s around.”

“You sure? If Maris-To instigated the coup and repaired Shelter, he might be pretty upset you guys are over there messing with his dreadnaught,” Delovoa said.

“Right, but he doesn’t want to be the ruler of a demolished space station and demolished dreadnaught,” I said. “The only risk is if this is some weird plan that involves him killing everyone in the System.”

“Not a bad plan,” Delovoa said.

“Just call Malla and start figuring out those Portals,” I said.

We hung up and Garm looked at me.

“You ready now?”

“Damn right,” I said.

She threw open the door and we were not ready for what we saw.

The engine room of Shelter was just one room.

One enormous room.

We both stood there gaping at the…absolute glory of it. It must have been ten miles straight across.

You would think there would be piles of technology and tubes and wires and cables everywhere, but there wasn’t. It was almost completely unobstructed.

There were ten distinct engines that fanned out in subtly different directions.

There was noise, but not as much as you would think. Each one of those engines looked like it should be making people deaf a few solar systems away and here I was staring at ten of them.

When I came out the door and saw the engines, it had thrown off my whole orientation. Was I on the ground or were they on the ground? Was the ground an irrelevant concept in spaceships like this? Did this whole room have some weird gravity that allowed this engineering impossibility to even exist?

Looking at it all made me not only a bit dizzy, but incredibly proud. This hadn’t been constructed by some alien species with billions of slaves. This was made by Colmarians, the most backwards empire that ever was.

Then I remembered that I wasn’t a Colmarian. I was an—

“Ontakians,” Garm whispered, while crouching.

Not sure why she whispered and not sure why she crouched. We were literally miles away. It took me minutes to locate them even with Garm trying to point them out.

I think if I started shouting and fired a flare gun they still wouldn’t have noticed us. Don’t know how Garm spotted them.

They were…over there. I couldn’t really tell where there was.

I took out a compact set of binoculars to watch the Ontakians.

They were wearing work clothes, had tools, and were doing something to something. Definitely mechanical. And they looked like they knew what they were doing. I mean, they were far away, but they weren’t banging with hammers.

Man, these guys were good at everything. I felt like such an underachieving Ontakian by comparison.

I put the binoculars down. During my dinner with the Governor, Maris-To said he hadn’t killed Ray’Ziel. That bothered me because he had no problem admitting to all the other rotten things he had done. But that meant I still didn’t know who killed the City Councilman.

Maris-To also said he had been repairing Shelter before Ray’Ziel was assassinated. I wondered if these guys had been part of that original construction crew. Maybe Ray’Ziel tried to divert his technical people to more legitimate work, or even got wise to what Maris-To was doing. Then the Ontakians took it upon themselves to kill him.

That would have given them insight into Maris-To’s operations, and why I could run into them at his ball, and why they had asked me if I was working for Maris-To when they saw me at the Olmarr Association.

They were all for advancing Maris-To’s plans up to the point of repairing Shelter. Now that they were here and it was fixed, their plans took very different directions.

That was the problem with owning fifty-seven and 9/10th’s solar systems. You didn’t know all the people working for you.

This was all a guess, but it wasn’t a bad guess.

“So how do we get over there?” I asked Garm, pointing at the Ontakian engineers.

She gave me a mean look and held up a finger for me to be quiet. Like I was louder than a dreadnaught’s engines.

Along the wall were some elevators. Which we took to other elevators and then to other elevators. They were all open caged and very disorienting. This was typical Colmarian Confederation. They made an engine room that laughed in the face of physics, but the elevators to navigate it were rusty deathtraps. I couldn’t even tell which way we were going.

We had travelled for some time and it seemed like we were further from the Ontakians than we started. Then we were far above them, then far to their side.

I was getting nauseous.

“I’m thirsty,” I said, after a while.

Garm shushed me.

After some time Garm had moved us to be not far from the Ontakians.

They were maybe forty feet below us and a hundred or so yards away. But I saw no way down.

Garm cupped her hand to my ear and whispered.

“Wait for me to get down and then we’ll do diagram E4 with oil.”

I didn’t get a chance to answer before she did a backflip off the ledge we were standing on.

I looked over expecting to see her crumpled form on the floor below, but she was somehow clinging to the wall and scaling down.

Well, wasn’t that nice for her? But how did I get down?

There was nothing but this ledge and the way we came, which led back up.

I checked my pockets and my tool case hurriedly for, like, a grappling hook I didn’t remember bringing. But there was nothing.

The fall wouldn’t kill me, but it’s not what I wanted to do before facing the Ontakians. And I was carrying a tank full of ship-cutter fuel. I’d feel awful stupid if I jumped off and that thing exploded.

Garm was at the bottom and she looked up at me.

I shrugged at her.

Garm was concealing her presence from the Ontakians so she wasn’t going to make any big movements, but she flicked a metal pellet that hit me on the right ear. It didn’t hurt, but I got the sense that she wasn’t happy with my hesitation.

I took a few steps and jumped off.

I landed on my feet but my momentum made me fall on my stomach and slide. My tools went clattering across the floor, probably the damn length of the room.

“Oof!” I said.

I turned to Garm who wore an expression that was a mix of horrified and exasperated.

She pointed backwards. I followed her gesture and noticed a ladder next to the platform I had jumped from. It was recessed into and kind of the same color as the wall, which was why I didn’t notice it.

The Ontakians were facing us, and if they were concerned, they hid it well. They were probably more confused.

“Why did you jump?” Garm hissed, as she helped me to my feet.

“I didn’t see the ladder,” I said.

“It doesn’t matter now. We’ll use B1. Ready? Go!” She said.

And she immediately sprinted off straight ahead! It wasn’t directly toward the Ontakians, more perpendicular to them.

Now, I vaguely remembered B1, but I couldn’t reconcile the little diagram with this enormous engine room. In my doubt, I walked slowly forward. Kind of at an angle in between the Ontakians and the direction Garm was headed so I could hedge my bets.

I got the torch situated after my fall and made the valves ready for the mixture. I wasn’t sure what plan Garm was implementing, but I knew it had to involve the torch as there was little else I could do to the Ontakians.

Garm began picking up speed and then yelled:

“Green!”

Hmm. That meant something. I was supposed to respond, but I didn’t know what. I couldn’t ask her because then they would know, so I kept moving forward, but I picked up my pace.

I saw Garm make a complicated series of twists and turns and cartwheels and rolls.

It was misdirection.

She hit both Ontakians with truss mines right at their legs. Those were the grenades MTB had used to entangle me when I first went soup-crazy.

A mine ensnared each of their legs together and then a third bound the two sets of wire in between. It was so horrendously accurate you would have thought metal sculptors had woven the fibers in perfect symmetry over months.

They both fell forward, their lower bodies entwined.

I then remembered that the “green” command meant I should be a lot closer than I was so I could pound on the prostrate Ontakians.

I tried to hurry over as quick as I could, but that wasn’t quick to begin with and with the torch it was even less so.

It was then I saw their upper bodies were still free and they were…drinking.

Oh, man.

I stopped and mixed the fuel on the torch, readying it for combustion.

“Move in,” Garm yelled.

“No, Garm, wait,” I said.

I had dialed one chemical too high and had to adjust. I was staring at these dumb gauges trying to ensure they didn’t explode when I heard the Ontakians screaming.

Garm began shooting and throwing stuff and there were little explosions and laser lights as she closed in.

“Come on. Come on,” I said to the torch. Delovoa was right. This thing must be a thousand years old, because it was temperamental as hell and I couldn’t get the needles stabilized.

Garm went into a whirlwind of motion, flinging weapons and bullets and presumably all manner of death.

But then the Ontakians stopped screaming.

In a single motion, one of the bald men ripped through the restraints binding him, stood up, and jumped. He just sailed through space like he had been shot from a rocket.

He landed right in front of Garm.

She tried to dodge but he snaked out a hand and grabbed her. A jab to the head almost too fast to see knocked her loopy, and then with casual disdain, he threw her at me.

I saw her flying through the air and I tried to decide whether I should rush out to catch her. I mean, I wasn’t exactly a soft cushion. And I wasn’t good at catching people. Maybe hitting the floor was better because at least it wasn’t a vertical surface.

As I pondered all this, she hit the ground and rolled toward me, bumping to a halt against my shins.

“Garm!” I said, crouching down.

I turned her over on her back and she grimaced in pain. I guess I should have done that a little more gently.

I was about to say more but I saw a light on the nozzle of my torch. It was reaching dangerous pressure levels.

I stood up and carefully stepped over Garm.

I kept dialing the valves and walking forward, trying to get away from Garm in case the torch ruptured.

Finally, finally, it reached equilibrium. I actually waited a second to see if it was going to swerve.

“Brothers,” I started, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to: Eat suck, suckface!”

I pressed the button to ignite.

ZZZZOOOOM!

The giant orange beam of light shot forward and I realized a little late that I hadn’t actually been aiming at anything in particular.

This thing really was a spaceship torch. It cut through the floor like gelatin.

I swung the beam toward the Ontakian that had thrown Garm but it was such an intense light and heat, I couldn’t tell if I came anywhere near him. I had both eyes squinted and I felt the skin on my face and hands peeling. How had Delovoa ever fired this?

I aimed the nozzle toward the other Ontakian and as it was moving over, I was reassured to see him running in panic.

I was melting a chunk of the floor as I moved the beam back and forth between the hazy dots that I knew to be the Ontakians.

The beam suddenly went red and lost half its length.

Then it flared out wide and I had to drop it because it was burning my whole body. The torch was bouncing sheets of flame twenty feet into the air and along the ground.

My instinct was to run away, but the last smart corner of my brain told me that would just drag it around behind me because the fuel canister was still attached to my back.

I turned my head and disconnected all the straps and buckles as quick as I could and then jumped away.

It took a good ten more seconds, but the nozzle finally sputtered out and died.

The Ontakians stood fifty feet away looking pissed.

I could tell I hit them because their clothes were in pretty bad shape.

Take that, wardrobe!

So I was all burnt up, probably as bad as they were, still recovering from my escape from the Governor’s mansion, and outnumbered two to one against Tamshius-fueled guys I couldn’t fight at my prime.

“I will accept your surrenders,” I said.

One of the Ontakians started screaming.

Then the other one did.

I started screaming too. Hey, it couldn’t hurt.

I hunched down and spread my arms, waiting for their imminent attack.

The Ontakians then took off to their right, away from me.

Uh, what?

They reached one of the engines and climbed up onto the very front of it, where a vast manifold of some kind sat on top.

They began pulling and pushing on the manifold. It must have been the size of a building.

“Stop them,” Garm said weakly.

“Stop them from what?” I asked.

I was totally happy they weren’t over here killing me in the nose.

And then the illumination in this entire room changed to red, as emergency lights signaled Something Very Wrong was happening.

“Hank,” Garm said.

“What?” I answered. I couldn’t imagine she had a diagram for this.

But I turned back to where she was looking.

The Ontakians were somehow pushing the manifold off the engine!

It was impossible, but there it was.

I just stared at them as they dragged this enormous structure. I mean, what were they going to do with it? Were they just showing off?

It reached the edge of the engine and the Ontakians and the manifold all fell off together.

They passed through the floor like a brick through a paper wall. When they hit, the two Ontakians were underneath. They might be unbelievably tough guys, but I think some drops of their blood must have speckled the wall five miles away when they got squashed.

They were dead or I was a fat Keilvin Kamigan.

The persistent engine noise lessened by a noticeable amount.

“Huh. Well. That was something,” I said.

CHAPTER 74

I got my tele and called Delovoa after I recovered from seeing the Ontakians splat themselves.

“We just had something happen to an engine. Did it help?” I asked.

“I see the engine is off, but that doesn’t stop your velocity. You need to put that engine in reverse,” he said.

“Oh!” I replied, understanding. “I think they broke it. How about the Portals?”

“Malla got in contact with Maris-To’s people. They are willing to allow me to open the Portals, but it won’t be enough.”

“Well, we’re in the engine room, is there anyone who knows how to turn them on and point them in the right directions?” I asked.

“Take a tele picture of the controls and send it,” Delovoa said.

“There are probably a quarter-mile of controls in here. I’m not even kidding. Are the other engines on?” I asked.

“No,” he said.

“Garm, do you know anything about these systems?” I asked her.

Her face was getting puffy, her nose was broken, and both eyes were bruising.

“Dreadnaught engineering was an elective in military school,” she said unhelpfully.

I hurried across the massive hall and looked at some controls. Not entirely sure what I was expecting, maybe a big button that said, “Hank, press this to put all engines in reverse.” But I didn’t see that button. In fact, most were unlabeled or had incredibly cryptic designations of one or two letters.

“Guys, if you can’t slow the dreadnaught, you should get off,” Delovoa said.

That was probably the only compassionate thing I had ever heard Delovoa utter, so it told me just how hopeless this situation was.

“Hey, do military ships work like civilian ones?” I asked.

“That’s a pretty vague question,” Delovoa answered.

“I mean, Zzzho told me that when ships lose their major systems, they come to a complete stop to prevent them flying off and running into stars or something,” I said.

“Who’s Zzzho?” Delovoa asked.

Garm heard the conversation and yelled.

“A cab driver made of gas!”

“No one. Just, do you know if that’s how it works?” I asked.

“You think breaking some controls will stop Shelter?” he asked.

“I think maybe breaking a lot of controls would. Imagine if there was some malfunction and a dreadnaught got stuck with its engines on. There has to be a failsafe.”

“You’re making a big assumption that the civilian precautions are the same as the ones for the largest capital ship ever built,” Delovoa said.

“The safety on a civilian rifle works the same as a military rifle,” I said.

“Yeah, but the safety on a civilian rifle and a military chemical weapon are nothing alike. And you’re standing on the equivalent of a city full of chemical weapons.”

“Well, I don’t think I can find my way back out of here and I don’t want the responsibility for rebuilding society, so I think we should give it a try,” I said.

“Do you still have the torch?”

“No, it guttered out. Garm, shoot the controls,” I said.

Two shots immediately hit near me and I almost dropped my tele. I think she was still mad that I didn’t know what the B5 diagram was.

I kicked the next set of controls and punched it, and after a while, managed to leave it looking pretty bad. I also got tired. I surveyed the room and roughly guessed I had one zillion more consoles to go.

How did those Ontakians knock a whole dreadnaught engine apart when I couldn’t even break a computer without getting winded?

Then I looked back to where we first saw my brothers.

I turned and hurried to the spot.

“What are you doing?” Garm asked, as she kept shooting systems cabinets.

There they were: two canisters of fluid. It was what the Ontakians had consumed to break free of Garm’s truss mines and rip apart a spaceship.

“So I’m going to drink this. If I kill you or run off screaming or drop dead, I pre-apologize now,” I said.

There was quite a lot of fluid left in each container. I wondered if I should drink both or mix them together. But I also wasn’t sure if they were tied to the…genetics of each guy. It could simply be some tasty beer and they were just badass engine-destroyers who wanted a drink before they got around to ending our civilization.

I poured one into the other. It was a fairly viscous substance. Clear. Didn’t seem appetizing.

I took a deep breath as I looked down at it. There was only a remote chance of this working. In all likelihood, I’d run around yelling as the ship smashed into my home.

At least I wouldn’t notice.

I brought it up to my lips and drank and drank and drank.

I tried not to breathe in, so I wouldn’t taste it, but even on my lips I felt an almost numbing sensation. Inside my mouth it was like needles were being dragged over my gums—not hard enough to be painful, but just short of it.

I felt it swirl like fire down my throat and it burned my stomach like the ghost of a thousand indigestions.

I began to panic. It was clearly poisonous.

I should try and induce vomiting. I couldn’t afford to have a tummy ache on doomsday.

But when I raised my arm, it felt…great.

I felt fantastic!

I flexed my hands, which had been burnt and cut a moment ago. I could almost feel each molecule of air passing over them.

This was so much better than Tamshius’ garbage!

I turned and saw Garm. She was still on the ground from her ordeals.

I jumped and landed next to her. Well, I tumbled a bit. I wasn’t used to jumping.

“You owe me money, you know,” I said, after I got up. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten. Yes, I know this is an odd time to bring it up, but I feel I have the leverage and if I can get your assurance I’ll be paid off, we can go about resolving our current difficulties.”

I picked her up. It felt odd talking to her on the floor.

“Another thing, I don’t like the fact that you and Malla were manipulating me. We have a long history and I feel you took advantage of our personal relationship. Not to mention it’s all rather embarrassing the predicament you put me in,” I said.

Garm was reaching around in one of her pockets and held something out to me.

“What’s this? Credits? You owe me a lot more than—” I started.

But it wasn’t credits or a wallet or a clasp. It was a small, shiny rectangle. It took me a moment to realize it was a mirror.

I saw the room behind me, vast in its dimensions.

And there was me.

I think.

My veins were blue and prominent all over my face. I could even see them on my nose. My eyes were bugged-out and staring and the pupils which filled them were gigantic.

Then there was my mouth, which was locked as wide as it could possibly go.

And it slowly dawned on me that I wasn’t having a logical conversation with Garm.

I was shrieking.

And while I was doing that I was shaking Garm vigorously.

I let go and she fell to the floor.

The floor. Wasn’t I supposed to be doing something with the floor? Or the wall? What was I doing here?

I heard distant voices but they were too faint to be of any concern.

There was something I had to figure out but I couldn’t remember what it was.

Something about my parents.

What was it?

“Hank,” Garm said, from what seemed like a long way off.

I couldn’t even see her. Where the hell was I?

“Hank,” she said again.

I heard a gun. I think she shot me.

“Hank! Belvaille is going to be destroyed!” She yelled.

It was like ice water poured on my back.

“Belvaille,” I said hazily.

“Yes, where you’ve lived your whole life.”

“Belvaille. That place…sucks,” I said.

“Yeah, but it’s home,” she said.

Then it all clicked. That was my city. Mine.

“What do I do?” I asked her.

“Destroy the controls,” she said, pointing.

I hopped over to them and began pounding.

It was pretty monotonous but I was pretty high so I didn’t mind. I tried to destroy each new machine differently.

Some I ripped from the wall and smashed into the next one. A lot of them I kicked. Some I threw. I got smart and realized I could pull out the whole wall and turn it over on a few dozen at a time.

Of course, there were a lot of controls.

Level after level after level. They could fill a skyscraper. Or a dreadnaught.

My hands and arms and knees and feet were raw meat.

I tried using a metal railing as a weapon to whack them, but it only lasted for maybe a hundred consoles and then it got too bent to use.

I don’t know how long I did this, but I was quite content to keep doing it forever. I was making good progress when I kept hearing a noise. I ignored it and kept at my work.

“—have to leave,” I heard.

I glanced around and saw Garm pleading with me. Man, she looked terrible. But I think this formula gave me heightened vision. I could see the individual pores on her skin from ten feet away. And no one looks good at the pore-level—especially when they’ve been punched in the face by a grouchy Ontakian who was tripping on strength soup.

“Hank, we have to leave now!” she repeated.

She threatened and slapped me and even cried.

Her tears shocked just enough sobriety into me that I allowed myself to be pulled away, back to reality.

CHAPTER 75

I had to carry Garm on my back.

After some time we got to corridors with a lot of panicked people running.

I don’t know if the Ontakians breaking the engine, me breaking the controls, or the imminent impact with Belvaille had set off the ship’s alarms, but alarms there were. Alarms in general were pretty alarming, but you got the sense that these particular ones were the “hey, you’re all about to die, so you might want to start rethinking your religious options” kind of alarms.

Garm told me to follow the running people and that seemed a pretty good idea. They were heading to the ship’s dock and fleeing in any shuttle or escape pod they could find.

It took a while but we located Zzzho in his cab. Garm had threatened via tele that if Zzzho tried to leave before we got there, the Quadrad would hunt him down and do whatever it took to kill a Keilvin Kamigan painfully.

Which was a pretty solid threat.

The formula was wearing off and I started to get a really bad headache and began to feel the pain in my…everywhere. Probably all the bones in my arms and hands were broken and a sizeable number in my legs.

That was some scary soup.

When our taxi disembarked, we could see Shelter was trying to slow itself with its huge array of forward retro rockets. But it was still headed right for Belvaille.

“Get away from Shelter,” Garm said.

“Like you have to tell me that!” Zzzho answered.

The Belvaille System had no star. It was black as night except for the ships that dotted it.

But suddenly the entire System turned to daylight as a third of the Portals opened simultaneously and stayed open. They usually only blinked for a split second as ships instantly passed through. This was completely unheard of.

We felt the taxi shudder and get tossed.

“What the hell is that?” Zzzho asked.

“The Portals,” Garm said.

We were like a soap bubble spinning in an open drain. Those Portals had enough energy to move Shelter, however slightly. Our little taxi was in danger of being pulled to pieces. Or more likely:

“We’re going to hit Shelter,” Garm said.

Various screeches and buzzes came from Zzzho’s speakers and I got the impression he was fighting with the controls.

I sat there like a very tired and broken barnacle.

We hit something or something hit us and then the lights went out and it was dark again.

“Angle on Belvaille,” Garm commanded.

Our ship rotated slowly and the space station was brought into view.

Shelter was just moments away from impacting Belvaille!

It was like the two big kids of the neighborhood were slugging it out to see who was top dog. They seemed so close but it was taking forever. Had they already hit?

We sat there for silent minutes until it became clear.

“Shelter is turning,” Zzzho said.

“No. That’s a collision,” Garm answered.

Shelter was not only moving up, but Belvaille was moving down and away.

It all seemed to be happening so slowly.

But as the front of Shelter seemed to bounce up, the rest of it continued almost straight.

“It’s breaking in half,” I said breathlessly.

From our perspective, it looked like Belvaille was being pushed downward and turning after the impact. I stared at it intently, trying to determine if it suffered the same fate as Shelter, which was clearly splitting apart.

“There’s no way Belvaille remained undamaged after that,” Garm said, seeming to guess my concern.

Shelter had lots of lights on it, but as it fractured, all those went out. With no major illumination in the System, it looked like the enormous ship was simply vanishing like a chalk line being erased.

“I need to dock somewhere. There’s going to be debris flying all over after that,” Zzzho said.

“Can you make it to Belvaille?” I asked.

“Are you nuts? That area is going to be filled with broken dreadnaught chunks. We’ll never make it through. I’m a taxi driver and this isn’t a Navy battleship,” he said.

“He’s right,” Garm said.

“Well, dock in Food Sector. I’m really hungry,” I answered.

CHAPTER 76

The next week was pretty stressful.

At least that’s what they told me. I was unconscious for most of it.

Even with my healing enhanced from the formula, I was not going to be winning any speed walking contests any time soon. Or be walking at all.

Tele communication had been suspended across the System. They simply turned off all the satellites.

Only the most basic of intership travel was allowed and the Central Authority gunboats escorted you the entire way.

Wild speculation floated around that Belvaille was destroyed and that the Central Authority was trying to hide it. Not many people officially knew the Governor had been killed, but it was one of the rumors.

I ate a lot of food and did a lot of sleeping.

Garm tried to keep me hidden, but that’s not easy when you’re on a ship with just 350 beds.

It was about the end of the first week when the Central Authority showed up.

“Your presence is requested on Belvaille!” The officer yelled. I got the idea he had been yelling at me for quite some time because the other officers looked bored and were lounging around my room.

“I’m really sleepy,” I said. “I just saved the universe or something. Again.”

“We were instructed to secure you by any means necessary,” he threatened.

I chuckled.

“I won’t stop you,” I smiled.

An hour later, six C.O.’s were cursing and straining trying to carry me down the hallway. I wasn’t struggling. I was just trying to relax, which wasn’t very easy when a bunch of burly guards were manhandling my broken bones.

Finally they gave up. They hooked a winch up from the dock and dragged me across the whole damn ship.

In the shuttle ride back, I didn’t have a window view so I couldn’t see what was going on in space. I figured they were going to take me to some impromptu trial and execute me.

If they asked me to speak, I wasn’t sure what to say.

Something cool.

I could say the suckface thing, but I suspected I would be slumped over in a wheelchair, bandaged head-to-foot, and it simply wouldn’t have much impact other than being pathetic.

I woke up in Belvaille. At least the city was still here.

I was indeed being pushed in a heavy duty wheelchair by a lot of straining Central Officers. I kind of felt like Delovoa’s gut cart. I probably resembled it, too.

Looking around I didn’t see much damage at all. Then I realized the skyline was about half the size it used to be. A huge number of the taller structures had been severely damaged or even collapsed.

We crossed paths with some of the downed buildings just splayed across the city like the arms of a sleeping giant.

But City Hall was still there. It might have been my vision or my wheelchair or something else, but it did look like the massive building was tilting slightly.

There were wall-to-wall guards in the structure and plenty of downcast citizens. I didn’t bother checking all the heraldry because I didn’t care and figured it didn’t matter.

I waited in the corridor that led to the City Council chambers and fell asleep again.

When I was finally pushed into the audience floor, I wasn’t alone.

There were thirty or so people with me and I was right, it looked like a series of trials.

The room had changed somewhat. Not only was Education’s section empty, but so was Manufacturing, and Trade. There was just Housing, and Food, and the Governor’s chair.

Sitting at the Governor’s seat was Maris-To, dressed not in a suit, but regal furs of green and gold. On that majestic head of hair sat an enormous jeweled crown.

They dragged out a poor old man in the center of the room and began reading off crime after crime. It took me a moment to realize that they were charging Gaktus, the former Manufacturing City Councilman.

It went on for several hours with various prosecutors and “witnesses” supplying outrageous evidence.

Gaktus was sentenced to death and taken away. This did not bode well for me, or anyone in this room, that they could dispatch such a powerful individual.

The whole time Maris-To didn’t speak or move in any way.

Several dozen more people were processed after that with similar resolutions. I was provided food and water and got a bit more sleep. It’s not that I wasn’t afraid, I was just numb.

It was pretty grimy down here at this point. People were injured and tired. These trials had apparently been going on for days.

Nearly everyone was given an extreme punishment.

My turn finally came and they had to wake me up.

“Hank of Belvaille?” the prosecutor asked.

“Yeah?” I coughed.

At this he motioned to the side and into the room was brought Garm, Malla, MTB, Delovoa, Cliston, and about a dozen other people I knew less well. They weren’t shackled, but they clearly weren’t free. Garm and Malla looked casual, MTB defiant, Delovoa scared, and Cliston was Cliston.

“His High Mightiness, Arch Minister, Lord Superior of Belvaille…officially thanks you for your recent activities and, further, would like to offer you the title of Special Factotum,” the prosecutor said.

At this, Maris-To leaned forward to look at me with interest.

Well, at least Belvaille had finally learned to get some decent titles in its government. A good superlative or two could go a long way.

I was dumb, but I wasn’t that dumb. I knew what this was.

He had trotted out my friends and acquaintances as a threat.

If I didn’t go along with this game, he would get them to testify against me, or me against them, or just kill us all. He wanted to see if I was going to rat on him and say what a big jerk he was for murdering the Governor and everything else he did, like trying to steal a dreadnaught and thus causing half the city to get flattened.

The first rule of serious, life-or-death negotiating I ever learned was: stall. Even if it was for an hour, in that hour you could often scrape something together more permanent.

I was in a wheelchair surrounded by a city full of guards and being stared at by the new king who had murdered a level-eight mutant and anyone else that had dared stand in his way.

This was life-or-death not only for me, but my friends.

With great difficulty, I rose from the wheelchair, standing on my broken feet.

I then got down on one knee.

“I gladly accept this title and hope I can continue to serve Belvaille for many years to come,” I said.

I kept my eyes down and shoulders slumped. I held the pose for quite a while until I heard footsteps coming toward me.

I thought of how I would respond if I was attacked, but I couldn’t even rise from my knees if I wanted to.

A small box was held out to me.

I opened it, not sure what to expect. It contained a metal badge. It was a silver circle with a gold fist in the foreground, the knuckles forward. The fist was larger than the circle and overlapped. It was basically the neon sign on my front door I used to advertise Hank Services Limited.

It was also, apparently, my new heraldry.

I looked up and Maris-To had resumed his impassive demeanor.

Some guards helped me back into my wheelchair and the prosecutor went on with the next cases.

My silence had been purchased for a cheap medallion and my life.

But, you know, I could work with that.

AUTHOR’S AFTERWARD

The novel is over. Really. It’s done. Novels are quite a task, even goofy ones like this.

If you purchased this, I sincerely thank you. If you read or listened this far, presumably you liked it, or you’re a masochist, or you’re studying the effects of bad writing on the human (or otherwise) consciousness.

Whatever your motive, I respectfully ask that you purchase it if you haven’t already. Then I’ll be able to produce more work which you hopefully find valuable.

Thanks again.

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Copyright

web page: http://www.belvaille.com

facebook: http://www.facebook.com/hardluckhank

cover art by Konstantinos Skenteridis

internal art by Markus Lovadina and Malcolm McClinton

map by Steven Campbell

proofreading by http://lectorsbooks.com/editing

All images and content Copyright © 2015 Steven Campbell

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Content

Steven Campbell
HARD LUCK HANK
SUCK MY COSMOS

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER 29

CHAPTER 30

CHAPTER 31

CHAPTER 32

CHAPTER 33

CHAPTER 34

CHAPTER 35

CHAPTER 36

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER 38

CHAPTER 39

CHAPTER 40

CHAPTER 41

CHAPTER 42

CHAPTER 43

CHAPTER 44

CHAPTER 45

CHAPTER 46

CHAPTER 47

CHAPTER 48

CHAPTER 49

CHAPTER 50

CHAPTER 51

CHAPTER 52

CHAPTER 53

CHAPTER 54

CHAPTER 55

CHAPTER 56

CHAPTER 57

CHAPTER 58

CHAPTER 59

CHAPTER 60

CHAPTER 61

CHAPTER 62

CHAPTER 63

CHAPTER 64

CHAPTER 65

CHAPTER 66

CHAPTER 67

CHAPTER 68

CHAPTER 69

CHAPTER 70

CHAPTER 71

CHAPTER 72

CHAPTER 73

CHAPTER 74

CHAPTER 75

CHAPTER 76

AUTHOR’S AFTERWARD

IMAGES

Copyright