Owen Sheers

The Two Worlds of Charlie F

Characters

Charlie

British Officer

Charlie’s Mother

Lauren

Angus

John

Daniel

Roger

Leroy

Marc

Chris

Ali

Simi

Young Simi

Becky

Darren

Dave

Frank

Richard

Michelle

Sarah

Tracy

Marie

Rob

Psychologist

Chaplain

Singing Teacher

Delivery Men

Businessmen

Dancer 1

Dancer 2

Waitress

Nurses

Doctor

THE TWO WORLDS OF CHARLIE F

Act One

SCENE ONE — WAKING

Footage of soldiers’ boots on patrol is projected on to gauze.

Lights fade.

Blackout.

Silence.

The sound of an IED explosion. In its wake military radio chatter, the thudding of a helicopter, loud at first then fading down.

Charlie (voice-over) Your hearing’s the last to go.

The radio crackle melds into the sound of a hospital, the digital heartbeat of medical machines getting louder.

And the first to come back.

The lights come up on a cloud of dust, still clearing from the stage. A hospital bed surrounded by screens, backlit. The silhouette of a man lying in the bed.

A non-Caucasian nurse enters and walks behind the screens. She carries a tray with a water bottle and a glass. She, too, is silhouetted as she works. As she dresses her patient’s stump he begins to stir.

Nurse What’s your name?

He stares at her, his breathing becoming rapid.

Charlie Fuck. You.

Nurse You’re in Birmingham, in hospital –

Charlie / Fuck you, you Taliban bitch!

Nurse / Can you remember your name?

Charlie (shouting) Help! Help! I’m in here! Here!

He tries to get out of bed but fails.

Nurse You’re in Selly Oak Hospital. Please, can you remember your name?

Charlie (shouting) ANA! ANA! ANA!

Nurse You’ll wake the other patients.

Charlie Help! Radio my position! Radio my position! ANA! ANA! ANA!

Nurse Would you like some water?

Charlie ANA! AN.… Water?

She pours a glass of water.

Oh no you don’t. You’re going to poison me. You think I’m fucking stupid? You’re going to kill me. That’s fucking cleaning fluid!

Nurse It’s from a bottle.

Charlie Show me.

She opens a fresh bottle in front of him and pours it into a plastic cup. As she approaches him Charlie knocks it from her hand.

Fuck off! I’m a British soldier! Help! Over here! It was the terp wasn’t it? I bet it was the fucking terp.

He begins singing ‘I’m Henry the Eighth I Am!’

The Nurse exits. When she re-enters she is with an Officer in British military uniform. Both enter the screens. Charlie stops singing.

You fucking turncoat! You motherfucking traitor! I swear, when I get out of here I am going to rip out your throat, shit down your neck and wipe your fucking gene pool from the face of the earth.

The Officer nods, then leaves. Charlie returns to his song.

Nurse You’re in Birmingham. In hospital. They’ll move you off the ward if you carry on like this.

Charlie (between bursts of song) Yeah, Birmingham, of course I am. Birming-fucking-ham? I don’t think so. Boss! Boss! Don’t leave me in here! Don’t leave me!

The Officer enters. He is with a young woman, Lauren. They both walk behind the screens.

At first Charlie doesn’t see her. He continues his shouting and swearing.

Lauren Charlie? Charlie, it’s me.

He turns to look at her and immediately starts crying.

Charlie Oh Jesus. Lauren, how did they get you? I swear, when I get out of here I am going to kill every one of you motherfuckers. Baby, have they hurt you? Did they torture you? If you’ve touched one hair on her head –

Lauren, shocked, begins to leave. The Officer exits with her. He returns with an older woman, Charlie’s Mother.

Charlie’s Mother Charles? It’s your mother. Calm down now, calm down.

Charlie Mom? No, no, not you too. No, this has to stop! This has to stop!

The cubicle goes dark. Charlie suddenly bursts through the downstage screen. He is in uniform, one leg missing, walking with a crutch. He walks downstage and looks at the audience.

Charlie You know when you fell off your bike? As a kid? Do you remember that pain? The one you don’t feel at first, but then you look down at your hand, your knee and it’s all gritty from where you bounced along the pavement. And that’s when it comes on, pulsing, and you’re like, ‘Ow, ow, ow, what the fuck?’

That’s what I remember. That kinda feeling. Grit in my hands, my knees.

In my mouth. The taste of it.

And the smell of Afghan. Gritty and shitty. Sand, skin flakes and shit.

That’s what I remember.

Beat.

I don’t remember waking up.

I don’t remember eating breakfast.

I don’t remember being given orders, or loading up, or leaving the compound.

I don’t remember going where we went.

I don’t remember walking through an archway, a low archway.

I don’t remember the IED going off.

None of that.

Beat.

What I do remember is taking down our ponchos the night before because there was a heelo coming in the next day. Then lying down in my trench on some shitty deflated air mattress and looking up at the Afghan stars which, let me tell you, are like no other fucking stars anywhere else.

Next thing I know, I’m being tortured by the fucking Taliban. For three weeks.

If anyone tries to tell you an induced coma is any kind of fun, they’re fucking lying. So, yeah, I realise I must have looked like a class-A asshole back there just now, but you have to understand I wasn’t in that hospital bed. Sure, I was in that bed, and as far as my fiancée and my mother were concerned I was there. Their Charlie was back. But at the same time he wasn’t. That round light above me? That was an observation hole. The screens? A temporary Taliban holding station. The nurse? Some devious fucking interrogator. The pain and the tubes? That was the torture.

‘I Am Henry the Eighth I Am’? No fucking idea. Didn’t even know that song had more than two lines.

Beat.

When British soldiers were wounded in the Napoleonic wars it took them months to get home, if they did. In World War One a fortnight at least. World War Two, about the same from France, much longer from India, Egypt, Burma.

Now? Medevaced from Nad Ali north to Bastion in twenty minutes, back in the UK in twelve, thirteen hours tops. But in here –

He taps his head.

Even quicker than that. Pretty much insta-fucking-taneous. Blink-of-an-eye kinda stuff. With a few weeks’ high-definition hallucinations thrown in for free.

The only problem is that when you come back that quick not all of you comes back at once.

He lifts up his stump.

And I don’t mean the fucking obvious either.

Beat.

There was this one time, on Herrick Five. I was out on patrol. Sangin. Some kids came up. They were talking to one of the ANA soldiers. I asked him what they wanted. He said, ‘They want to know where you are from?’ I said, ‘Tell them the other side of the world.’ So he did. But then the terp started laughing. I asked him what was so funny. He said, ‘He told them you were from another world.’

At the time I told the terp to correct him. But now, well, I kinda think he might have had it right the first time round.

Beat.

Before we get any further I can see more than one of you out there are thinking ‘what kind of an accent is that for a Royal Marine anyway?’ Well, I’ll tell you, my friends. Canadian, that’s what, and don’t you fucking forget it. Or the Fijians, the Trinidadians, the Gambians, the Gurkhas. Oh yeah, thanks to your over-industrious forebears we’re all in this Afghan shit together, all us citizens of the Commonwealth.

And now, for the brief time we have together, so are you. So, shall we get started?

He throws a wide smile.

Let’s go on a tour.

SCENE TWO — HISTORIES

Charlie stands to attention.

Charlie PO56085M.

Cpl Charlie Fowler.

Aged twenty-six. B company 22 commando.

Injured in Nad Ali North September 23rd 2011.

I was on a Section assault on a compound when a western flank stepped on an IED. Op was successful. Medevaced from the area to Bastion and then to Selly Oak Hospital, UK. After three weeks in a medically induced coma, I spent four weeks at QE, then straight to Headley Court.

Halfway through his speech Charlie is joined on stage by Leroy, who also begins reciting his history as Charlie continues his at a lower volume. This pattern is repeated with each soldier entering earlier and earlier in the previous soldier’s speech until the stage is filled with wounded soldiers reciting their histories.

Leroy 25080678.

Rifleman Leroy Jenkins.

Aged twenty.

4th Batt, The Rifles.

Injured on 26th July 2009, Helmand Province, Afghanistan.

Both legs blown off in an IED strike, medevaced back to the UK.

Recovery in Selly Oak Hospital Birmingham for eight weeks. Rehab at Headley Court for a year. Awaiting medical discharge at Tedworth House.

Daniel 542711.

Major Daniel Thomas.

Aged thirty-seven.

2nd Battalion, Royal Welsh.

Injured by IED strike while commanding a company on 4th July 2009 in Babaji, Afghanistan.

Medevaced to Bastion, Khandahar, Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham.

Discharged after six weeks.

Spent seven months in Headley Court for Brain Rehabilitation. Awaiting medical discharge.

Richard 25223563.

SPR Richard Booth.

Aged twenty.

9 Parachute Squadron RE.

Injured on 19th July 2008 PB Armagh, Sangin, Helmand Province. Taliban ambush on a vector rescue op. IED blast to rear of Wimik — blown sixty feet into Taliban firing point. QRF on Quadbike taken back to FOB Jackson, Sangin. Medevaced to Camp Bastion, then Queen Elizabeth and Selly Oak.

Broken back four places, broken leg/arm, shattered heel, shrapnel legs, thigh, groin, lung contusion, head injury, ten-week strict bed rest. Told would never walk again, wheelchair bound, intensive rehab. After treatment returned to front line September 2010 but forced to return after nine months due to previous injuries. Awaiting spinal surgery and rehabilitation.

Frank po63793g.

Cpl Frank Taylor.

Aged twenty-five.

SFSG.

Injured on 1st February 2007 in Helmand Province.

Hit by RPG blast as storming Taliban compound. Medevaced via Black Hawk to Kandahar for initial treatment. Once stabilised flew back to Selly Oak Hospital, Birmingham. After six weeks began recovering physically but mentally struggling. Currently seeing psychologists in an establishment in Berkshire.

Roger 25886967.

Cpl Roger Smith.

B Company.

Aged thirty-seven.

2PWRR.

Injured on 26th August 2008 in Nad Ali, Afghanistan. I was commanding a Snatch three hundred metres short of jab when the vehicle hit an IED. I was blown clear of the vehicle, landing on my right shoulder and neck. Medevaced to Bastion. I had prolapsed discs at C5 and C7 in my upper spine and a dislocated shoulder. Medevaced back to UK. Sent to Selly Oak Hospital. Birmingham where discs at C6 and C7 were replaced. Presently undergoing rehab at Headley Court.

Dave 25031076.

Sgt Dean Barker.

Aged thirty-seven.

26 Engineer Regiment 8 Squadron.

Injured on 15th June 2007. I was driving in convoy in the lower Sangin Valley when my Pinzgauer hit an IED. I was thrown from the vehicle, sustaining two broken ankles and a damaged lower back. Medevaced from blast area to Camp Bastion. Flown to UK to Selly Oak Hospital. Sent back to regiment with ongoing physio. Awaiting below-knee amputation of right leg and reconstruction of left ankle. Also receiving treatment for PTSD. Discharge date, 11th April 2012.

Darren 25051100.

Bombardier Daz Sobey.

Aged thirty-four.

26th Regiment, Royal Artillery.

Injured on April 2007 on Salisbury Plain whilst commanding 105mm artillery light gun. Gun crew accidently crushed me bringing gun into action. Spinal damage and losing use of left arm. Had spinal surgery but remain in chronic pain and reliant on strong medication. Awaiting medical discharge.

Chris 25234412.

Lance Cpl Chris Brown.

Aged twenty-one.

1st Battalion, Coldstream Guards

Injured on 8th October 2009 on patrol near Sangin. An IED strike blew off my left leg. Medevaced to Camp Bastion and then to Selly Oak, Birmingham. Severe spinal and nerve damage. In Selly Oak for four months then Headley Court to begin rehab. Awaiting further ops.

Ali 24892357.

Sgt Ali Briggs.

Aged thirty-six.

12 Rgt, RA.

Injured on 17th Jan 2008 on Herrick 7 when a mortar round landed in my forward operating base. Shrapnel in my legs, mainly right knee. Medevaced to Bastion where initially treated, then flown back to Selly Oak Hospital, Birmingham. Transferred to Headley Court for intensive rehab. Awaiting elective below-knee amputation.

Marc 25163768.

Cpl Marc Anderson.

Aged twenty-four.

Royal Engineers.

Injured on 28th January 2008 in Basra, Iraq, by an IED strike. Suffered blast wounds and burns. Ongoing psychological symptoms so flown back to UK. Currently seeing CPN at Watson House RAF Leuchars. Awaiting discharge.

Simi W1042163.

Lance Cpl Simi Yeats.

Aged thirty-eight.

Injured 16 June 2010. Damage to left knee. Realignment of left leg at Frimley Park Hospital. Undergoing physio and rehabilitation at Headley Court, pending Army career outcome.

Becky 555557.

Capt Becky Robinson.

Aged thirty-four.

AGC (SPS).

Injured by a mine strike to my vehicle in Iraq, 23rd October 2005. Left leg badly broken. Medevaced from Shaibah Field Hospital to the UK. Five years reconstructive surgery. Rehab failed, lost function of foot and suffered chronic neuropathic pain. Leg amputated in June 2011. Rehab at Headley Court for six months. Awaiting medical discharge.

John 25014876.

SPR John Philips.

Aged thirty-seven.

9 Parachute Squadron, Royal Engineers.

Injured on Herrick 8, 2008, Sangin, Afghanistan. Shot through the right knee by a sniper whilst out on routine patrol in Sangin District. The bullet shattered my knee cap. Medevaced to Camp Bastion. Flown back to UK. Rehab at Headley Court. Now categorised as a P3 soldier and working as a recruiting officer for the Army.

Angus 534979.

Cpl Angus Watson.

Aged thirty-two.

Coldstream Guards.

Injured on 30th May 2009, Sangin, Afghanistan. Mortar attack. Suffered shrapnel wounds to the stomach and leg. Medevaced to Camp Bastion and transferred to Selly Oak Hospital, Birmingham. There for six weeks, three of them in an induced coma. Transferred to Headley Court. Remained for seven months. Suffer from PTSD.

SCENE THREE — JOINING

The soldiers remain in their positions. They begin humming ‘Men of Harlech’. Charlie takes a step forward.

Charlie I joined up for a bet. I saw an advert for the Marines — ‘Ninety-nine point nine per cent need not apply.’ So I applied. I didn’t know what I was getting into. Didn’t have a clue. But when they told me it was the hardest training in the world, there was no fucking way I was going to quit, was there?

As each soldier speaks they also take a step/wheel forward.

Daniel My father was in the Army so I tried to stay out of it, to be honest. I was working in Tesco’s when I read an article about Sandhurst being short of officers.

Roger Well, the Gulf War had kicked off, hadn’t it? Everyone wanted a gun. I wanted a gun. My father-in-law had been giving me grief — telling me I couldn’t handle it. So I joined. That fucking showed him.

Darren Family tradition. My father was artillery, my uncle’s artillery, my great-great-grandfather was artillery. Even my nan was an ack-ack gunner.

Frank When I saw the Twin Towers go down, well, I thought I wanted to be part of it, you know, help sort it out. I was a bricklayer at the time but we’d had a hard couple of winters and we had our son on the way. So yeah, I joined for my family too.

Leroy I can’t remember the Twin Towers. I was ten years old when that happened. In my family, though, every male has to serve in the Army. I joined as soon as I could, when I was sixteen. My mother wanted me to wait. She’d already lost two of my brothers. One in the Falklands, another in the Gulf.

Chris I wanted to be a copper, but my dad said coppers don’t have no mates, so we went down the careers and I joined the Army instead. Coldstream Guards. My dad was dead proud.

Ali His dad was right. Coppers don’t have no mates. My grandfather said I’d never amount to anything. When he died I joined up. When I passed out and saw the look on my mum’s face I thought great, two birds, one stone. I made my grandad proud and my mum don’t think I’m a knobhead anymore.

Richard I just always wanted to. Ever since my older brother gave me this tank you built yourself. I was always running round the woods, that kind of thing. I loved those films too — The Longest Day, Zulu. I signed up when I was sixteen. The Paras. My mum was concerned, of course she was. But she’s always supported me. Always.

Marc It was the only thing that would swallow my energy. They didn’t get me at school, ADHD and all that.

Dave Every man in my family’s served. Every one. Crimea, Boer War, World War One, World War Two. I was born with my fists out. You know Psalm 144? I got it on my back — ‘Blessed be the Lord, my strength, which teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight.’

Becky I got a scholarship to Sandhurst in the sixth form. I just wanted to do something different.

John It was a way out, to be honest. I had an attitude problem. And a temper. Was either the Army or the other way, if you know what I mean. The police and my parents pushed me in. This bloke had stabbed my best friend. Me and a few mates were on the way to his house. To sort him out.

Angus I’d split up with my girlfriend, so, yeah, I thought let’s do it. Let’s have some. Iraq had just kicked off so there was no better time to join, was there? It’s about security, too. I mean for me, my family. Stability.

The Soldiers remain in their final positions.

SCENE FOUR — RECRUITMENT

Three women enter: Frank’s girlfriend Michelle, Richard’s mother Tracy and Charlie’s fiancée Lauren.

Michelle He said he was doing it for all of us, our future. And I still believe him. He was. We had our Liam on the way and, well, we needed the money. So yeah, of course I supported him.

Tracy My husband, his step-dad, he was in the Army. So, yeah, I know what it’s like. What they’re like. And I know he’s always wanted to join, from when he was little.

Lauren We met two weeks before he went for his basic training. I was working in a pub. He had to have three shots of tequila before he had the courage to ask me out. He was full of it, even then.

Michelle He really wanted to do something. He wanted to make a difference. And he did, I’m sure of it. There was just so much we didn’t know, wasn’t there? About what it was going to be like. When he went away. Afterwards.

Tracy But, at the end of the day he’s my son, isn’t he? He’s my baby. I’d never stop him, but, well, it’s hard, yeah, it is. Seeing your boy go off like that.

Lauren I could see straight away there was no way he wouldn’t go. And I was never going to ask him to choose, was I? I mean, who wants to hear they come second?

A single spotlight upstage discovers Simi. She begins walking downstage, singing a gospel song to the tune of ‘His Eyes on the Sparrow’.

Simi

I sing because I’m happy

I sing because I’m free

For his eyes are over all of us

And I know he’s watching me.

The other women exit.

Simi When I was seven I had a dream. I was going to live where the Queen lived. And I was going to be a soldier.

I’d seen her when she came to visit on Independence Day. All of us were lining the streets of San Fernando, waving. And she waved back. She had a pink hat, and a matching suit. And as she waved I was shouting, ‘I’m going to live where you live! I’m going to live where you live!’

And then I had my dream. I told my mother about it while she was combing my hair.

Young Simi enters and kneels in front of Simi, who begins combing her hair.

Young Simi There were four of us, four girls. My mother kept forgetting our names, so in the mornings when she was getting us ready for school, she numbered us instead, one to four. I was number three.

Beat.

Mummy?

Simi (as her mother) Keep your head still, child!

Young Simi I had a dream last night.

Simi (as her mother) You always dreaming some stupidness!

Young Simi No, Mum! This is a good one.

Simi (as her mother) You always say it’s a good one. Go on then. What is it?

Young Simi I dreamt I was a soldier and I lived where the Queen lives.

Simi (as her mother) Where the Queen lives? Where the Queen lives? I told you it was a stupid dream! You know where the Queen lives?

Young Simi No.

Beat.

But I can find out.

Simi (as her mother) Get to school before you’re late! And stop talking your stupidness!

She ushers Young Simi away.

Young Simi (to the audience) Joining the Army wasn’t even a thought in my family. I had no father, so Mum was both Mum and Dad. Every time I mentioned my dream she went ballistic.

Simi (as her mother) Of course I did! What is to have a girlchild in the Caribbean and be mother, father, everything? You want to keep them close. Where you can see them, reach them.

Young Simi If I was playing in the backyard and went out the gate, she’d come out to pull me back in.

Simi (as her mother) You was too far for me to reach out that gate. Too far.

Young Simi But I wanted to do something different. I wanted to go to England. I wanted to be a soldier.

So one day I woke up and I told her. I was going.

The two women look at each other.

Simi (as her mother) Too far. Too far.

Young Simi walks upstage towards a recruiting office.

Young Simi Two weeks after I got to England I saw an advert. ‘Be the Best,’ it said. ‘Join the British Army.’ I got on a bus to Edgware, came out of the station and there, in front of me, was a careers centre. So I walked in.

She enters the recruiting office, where Dave sits behind a desk.

Dave Afternoon, how can I help you?

Young Simi I’d like to join the Army.

Dave Well, you’ve come to the right place. Are you local?

Young Simi Pardon?

Dave Are you from round here?

Young Simi No. I’m from Trinidad. San Fernando. I have my passport.

Dave But you didn’t come from there today?

Young Simi No. I came from my auntie’s.

Dave And she lives in —?

Young Simi Kent. She lives in Kent.

Dave Right, fair enough. Well, let’s get started shall we? Age?

Young Simi Pardon?

Dave How old are you?

As Dave asks the question the lights come up on another recruiting office upstage. Richard and his mother, Tracy, sit across a desk from Roger.

Richard Sixteen.

Tracy Two months ago, August.

Roger Right, thanks. And was it always the Paras that interested you, Richard?

Richard Yeah.

Roger And why’s that?

Richard Well, they’re the best, ain’t they?

Roger We like to think so. Some bootnecks might tell you different, but yeah, the best, that’s right. Enjoy your sports, do you? Outdoor stuff?

Richard Yeah, I do.

Roger Well, you’ll get plenty of that. Skydiving, water-skiing in Cyprus, scuba diving — (To Tracy.) There’s some brochures there if you want to take a look — muff diving.

Tracy How long is the training again?

As she asks the question the lights come up on another office downstage. Becky sits across a desk from Frank.

Becky Thirty-two weeks, if you pass everything first time.

Frank My girlfriend’s pregnant. Will I be away for all that time?

Becky No. There’s a break halfway though. But bear in mind, Frank, of every fifty recruits who try and join the Marines, only nine or ten will graduate.

Frank Right. Yeah, I read that. So I’ll miss the birth?

Becky Well, perhaps. Probably. Initially. Any marriage plans?

Frank We thought we’d wait until I’d finished training.

Becky Right. Well, yes, that could work. If you pass out on a Friday, you’ll be reporting for duty with your new unit on the Monday morning. So there’s a couple of days there.

Frank It’s that quick?

As he asks the question the lights come up on another office downstage. Leroy sits across a desk from Charlie, who wears his prosthetic leg under his jeans.

Leroy Can be. A year from now you could be in Afghan. Norway. Belize.

Charlie Sweet.

Leroy And that stuff you hear about women and the uniform? All fucking true. You get your green beret, women all over your cock.

Charlie So when can I get started?

Leroy You can start now if you want to, mate. I’ll just get the forms and we’ll get cracking.

He wheels away from the desk, revealing he has no legs.

(As he returns to the desk.) Everything all right mate?

Charlie Yeah, sorry. It’s just. I didn’t realise … um, well, you’ve got no legs.

Leroy Well, at least you’ll pass the observation test.

Beat.

Look, you’re making the right choice, Charlie. When you join the corps you join a family. You’ll make friends who’ll be closer to you than brothers. You’ll have a hoofing time with them. You’ll fight for them, and they’ll fight for you. Yeah, shit happens, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I lost my legs, but I saved my best friend’s life that day. You any idea what that feels like? To care that much about something, to care that much about doing your job?

Charlie No.

Leroy Sign here today and you will.

All four recruits — Young Simi, Richard, Frank and Charlie — sign simultaneously.

Young Simi turns towards the audience.

Young Simi I signed up for twenty-two years. Then I got on the bus and went back to my auntie’s. When I came in the door I told her, ‘Auntie, I’m a soldier.’ I was living my dream.

The other recruits also face the audience. They all raise one hand. Young Simi begins the Oath of Allegiance. The others join her in turn until they are all reciting the oath.

I swear by Almighty God that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, her heirs and successors –

Charlie — and that I will as in duty bound honestly and faithfully defend Her Majesty, her heirs and successors –

Richard — in person, crown and dignity against all enemies –

Frank — and will observe and obey all orders of Her Majesty, her heirs and successors –

All — and of the generals and officers set over me. So help me God.

SCENE FIVE — TRAINING

As the recruits come to the end of the Oath they are joined by Marc and Angus. The sound of a train leaving a station. They loiter. Some light cigarettes.

Suddenly Darren marches through them, screaming orders.

Darren Oi! You lot, get fell in! That means get into a fucking line!

Put out that fag, you scraggy little shit! Stand up straight! Don’t you fucking look at me like that, you worthless little shit! Get that fucking hoodie down! You’re in a new gang now! You two, Pinky and Perky, put those fucking phones away!

Richard Sorry, Sarge.

Darren Sarge? Sarge? Would you like me to massahge your passahge with my sausahge? I’m not your sarge, I’m a bombardier, shitlips!

He turns on the audience.

What you fucking looking at? You! Get a haircut. You! Sit up straight. Don’t you fucking smile at me, sonny boy! You think I’m funny, do you? Well, we’ll soon see about that.

As Darren marches the recruits around the stage, the Training Song begins.

TRAINING SONG

You will not call me mate,

I am not your friend.

You will not call me sir,

I am not your friend,

You will call me Bombardier,

You will look at me with fear,

For no matter how sweet I may appear,

I am not your friend!

When I say ‘Sit up’, you do. (Yes, we do!)

When I say ‘Brace up’, you do. (Yes, we do!)

When I say ‘Stand to’, stand to. (Yes, we do!)

You will never ask me why.

And when I say ‘Jump!’,

You will ask ‘How high?’

Polish boots is what you do. (Yes, we do!)

You love starch and Brasso too. (Yes, we do!)

Thinking you can leave to me.

Uniform is your ID.

In your sleep, you’ll dream PT. (Yes, we do!)

Just one way to survive;

You all work as a team.

To make it out alive,

You all work as a team.

Close as twins inside the womb,

Close as corpses in a tomb,

Like a bride astride a groom,

You all work as a team.

Feel the burn, enjoy the pain. (Feel the burn!)

Pain is pleasure, tell your brain. (Feel the burn!)

You’re alive, so pain is gain! (Feel the burn!)

Feeling pain you won’t succumb,

And you won’t feel fear till you’re feeling numb.

Clean your rifle, then yourself. (My weapon, myself!)

Think of your rifle, then yourself. (My weapon, myself!)

When your rifle’s really clean,

And by clean I mean pristine,

You can load your magazine.

(My weapon, myself!)

The recruits are marched offstage.

SCENE SIX — BRIEFING 1

Daniel enters with a white screen. A map of Afghanistan is projected on to it. He addresses the audience as if at a military briefing.

Daniel British forces first entered Afghanistan in 1839 with the aim of conquering and controlling the country to prevent further expansion of the Russian empire. This first Afghan War resulted in British withdrawal.

The Second Afghan War was fought in 1878, again resulting in British withdrawal.

We entered Afghanistan for a third time in 1919 and withdrew the same year, celebrated annually on Afghan Independence Day on 19th August. These three Afghan wars are sometimes referred to as ‘The Great Game’.

A communist-backed coup precipitated an invasion by the Soviet Union in 1979. This invasion was resisted by the Mujahaddin, who fought a guerrilla war resulting in Soviet withdrawal ten years later in ’89.

Between ’92 and 2001 the Taliban gained control of the country. They imposed strict Shari’a law and provided a safe haven for Al Qa’eda.

The Taliban were overthrown by the Northern Alliance and US/UK forces in 2001. They still remain active in southern parts of the country including Helmand Province, where British forces have had locations in Sangin, Kajaki, Musa Qala, Nad Ali, Gereshk, Lashkar Gah, Garmsir and many more.

The territory ranges from fertile farmland along the Helmand river, running north to south, to desert and semi-desert beyond. In the summer Afghanistan is one of the hottest countries in the world with temperatures regularly above 40° centigrade. Winter temperatures are often well below freezing.

Helmand Province covers a total area of 59,000 square kilometres, larger than Wales and Northern Ireland put together. In 2002 the British had three hundred troops on the ground. In 2005 we had three thousand, and now we have nine thousand, five hundred servicemen and women in the country.

Afghanistan has always been a strategic crossroads for the region, and in today’s operating environment its neighbours Pakistan and Iran both have significant interests in the country. Some of the players have changed, but the playing field remains the same.

The Great Game, ladies and gentleman, continues.

Daniel exits

SCENE SEVEN — FIELD MEDIC COURSE

The call to evening prayer from a minaret. ‘Chasing Cars’ by Snow Patrol plays faintly in the background.

Marc, Richard, Young Simi, Frank, Darren sit in a semicircle, their backs to the audience. Roger and Angus march in with John, who wears full combat uniform, Osprey, helmet.

Angus Right, forget what you learnt on your FA1S, BCTD, CFX or whatever. For the next six months this is the only course you need to remember. If you listen up it’ll either save your life or one of your oppos, so listen up good. John! Now, John here has kindly agreed to be our puppet today. Say hello, John.

John Hello.

Angus As you can see John’s all kitted out to take on the Tali. Helmet, Osprey, weapon system. Combined weight of 70 to 80 kilos. It’s hot today, isn’t it? Well, get used to it, because it’s always fucking hot. Except when it’s cold, and then it’s fucking cold. Either way, whatever the weather, you’re going to be spending a lot of your time out here carrying this load. Want to know what that feels like?

He points to Marc. Then to Frank.

Jump on his back.

Marc Corporal?

Roger He said jump on his fucking back. You never had a piggy-back before?

Marc Yes, Corporal!

Marc jumps up on to Frank’s back.

Angus Thank you. Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is what carrying full kit is like. Like having Anderson on your back. All day. Bear that in mind at all times. When taking on fluid, when going on patrol, but most importantly when you or one of your mates steps on some massive device that blows you, him, or both of you sky high. Thank you, gents, that’ll do.

Roger Everything you need to protect yourself, to survive or to save your mucka, is carried here, on your person.

Roger begins going through John’s pouches and pockets, pulling out the kit.

Ammunition, bayonet, pistol, PRR, morphine — lose that and you will not be fucking popular! Field dressings, compression bandages. Celox gauze — remember every hole’s a goal! Asherman seal for those sucking chest wounds. Tourniquet! High and tight! Tight is right! And always check the back of the fucking wound too!

Angus So much for the kit. Now let’s get to the stuff that really matters. (To John.) Strip down, John.

John hesitates.

Roger You heard him. Down to your blast pants.

As John removes his uniform.

Angus Kit changes. Always has, always will. But human anatomy doesn’t change. And that’s why you’d better listen up good because this could make the difference between your mate going home on a stretcher or in a body bag.

He takes out a red marker pen. As he talks he draws on John’s body.

Angus Let’s start with the basics shall we?

He takes a bottle of water from one of the soldiers.

This is a litre of water. John’s got five litres of blood in his body. He can lose a litre of that, no problem. Two litres, getting tricky. More than that, he should start to worry. His heart, about the size of a fist, is here. When he starts oozing, this is pumping out the juice through his arteries. Going south through his thoracic aorta, out here, along his arms, and down here, along his thighs. And up here, supplying his tiny mind, his carotid artery. Right, so things have gone wrong for John and he’s stepped on an IED.

What injuries is he likely to sustain? Probably lose a leg, if he’s lucky amputated here, or unlucky, here. So that’s gone, off in someone else’s compound. What else? He’ll be fragged here on his face, and here along the side of his neck. It’s a conical blast wave, remember, so here under his arms too. Some big chunks out of his legs from the stones and crap on the ground. Probably a chunk out of the arm, here. Fragged along side of the chest.

Where’s his weapon gone? That’s right, straight up into his grid. Broken jaw, fractured zygoma, bit of blast ear. Pressure injury to the lungs. Probably lose a few fingers too. What else are we forgetting? What’s here, biggest bone in the body? That’s right, his femur. Where’s that going? Smash, into his pelvis. Serious injury? You bet! Dislocated shoulder.

If he isn’t wearing his shades, sand, dirt and stones in his eyes.

He points to John’s genitals.

What’s going to happen to this bad boy? If he’s wearing his blast pants, hopefully nothing. If he’s not? The eyelets from his boots are going to fly up, penetrate his nut sack, sever his penis. It’s one of the first questions they’ll ask you. ‘Have I got my cock and balls?’ If he’s not wearing blast pants, you can tell him yes, but he’ll be pissing in six different directions for the rest of his life. Probably lost both arse cheeks too. So, respect those gone before you, the men whose injuries we’ve learnt from, and wear those fucking pants! Your missus and your future kids will thank you for it, believe me.

Right, that’s enough of you, John.

John takes a white towel and walks downstage, cleaning the marker pen from his body, turning the towel red.

Roger Bullet wounds next! You’re out on patrol and the tree line’s opened up on you, like it does. Your mate’s gone down, small entry wound on the front, big exit wound in the back. You’ve got to pack that exit wound while still laying down rounds in the opposite direction. So what you going to do?

Roger’s voice fades away as John is isolated in a spot.

John He’s right, you know. Some things don’t change. Weapons change. Battlefields change. Wars change. But there’s one thing that’s never changed.

He pats his own chest.

This. Fight with stones. Fight with swords. Fight with missiles. This is where the fight happens. This is where the speeches end. The resolutions. The column inches. This is where victory or defeat happens. The ultimatums. The politics. This is where war happens. Here. On the bodies of men. Boys. We try and take theirs apart. They try and take ours apart. It’s as simple as that.

He turns and walks upstage. The lights come up to reveal a FOB — temporary showers and toilets, sandbags, Hesco blocks. The heads of Ali and Roger can be seen above a screen in front of the toilets. As John passes them he turns to the audience again.

John That’s something else that never changes. Bring the British squaddie to Afghanistan, nineteenth century, twenty-first century, and soon enough he’ll get the D an’ Vs. Always has. Always will.

John exits.

SCENE EIGHT — COMMS

Loud sounds of shitting. Ali ducks below the screen. The sound of him vomiting. He reappears.

Ali Fuck me, this D an’ V’s better than any F-plan. I’m telling you, Atkins ain’t got shit on Afghan.

Roger I know. My missus is going to be chuffed to fuck with the weight I’m dropping.

Darren enters with a sack of mail.

Darren Mail’s here, lads.

Ali Ah, at last! About fucking time too!

Other Soldiers begin to gather around Darren as he hands out the mail. Charlie wears his prosthetic so appears to have both legs intact.

Darren Anderson … Briggs …

Ali Get mine for me will you, mate?

Darren Taylor … Ma’am … Baker … Booth …

As each soldier receives their bluey or package they drift to a more private place.

Darren Booth … Booth … Booth.

Richard is given a pile of packages.

Marc Ah, not again!

Dave You’re crated, Booth. So crated.

Marc You’re mother’s unbelievable. Like a fucking one-woman Red Cross.

Darren Sir … Smith … Fowler …

As the Soldiers open their bluies, the Letter Writers appear.

Lauren Charlie, I miss you so much –

Michelle Hey babe! I hope you get this soon … never soon enough though, is it?

Tracy Dear Rich, a few more parcels for you. No chocolate this time, like you asked. But lots of Haribo and shower gel!

The Soldiers continue to read their bluies as the female Letter Writers sing:

Letter Writers (sung)

Hope you get this, hope you’re safe, hope everything’s all right. Miss you.

Everyone here is thinking of you, we’ve heard nothing on the news. Miss you.

Look after yourself, my love, and come home soon.

Dave When you’re in the FOBs most of the time bluies is all you get. Only once, maybe twice every two months. There’s one I’ll always remember. My daughter drew me a birthday cake. And my son, he’s got special needs see, but he managed to write his name. It might not sound like much, but I was crying. It chokes you up, it does.

Richard You have to take yourself away, somewhere quiet. It’s amazing to get them, but then after you’ve read them, well, it’s bad too. It’s like a come-down. It makes you miss home, miss everyone there. You realise how long it’ll be before you see them again.

Simi For three months I didn’t get any bluies. It took so long from Trinidad to England to Iraq. Every time the mail came, I’d just be waiting, feeling alone. The boys on camp even started writing to me, just so I’d have some mail! But then one day I saw a Trinidad and Tobago stamp. I couldn’t believe it. I almost screamed down the whole of the RHQ. Seeing their names, Mummy’s handwriting. I rub it all over my face, so it would stay with me. I even slept with it! Every time I turned over, I’d reach under my pillow to check it was there. Because it was a lifeline, that bluey. It really was. A lifeline home.

The Soldiers begin to write. As their recipients open their letters the Soldiers sing.

Soldiers (sung)

Please don’t worry, I’m with a good bunch of lads.

And, you know, we look out for each other.

Send my love to Mum and Dad.

I don’t know when I’ll call again.

All my love, all my love.

Tracy I saw Mr Roberts yesterday. Your old Geography teacher? He said everyone at school is so proud of you.

Chris Alright, Big Rog! Chris here. Bet you weren’t expecting this. Send my best to the lads and let them know I’m doing fine — there are more nurses here at the QE than I know what to do with!

Michelle PS. Sent you a special treat — just so you don’t forget what’s waiting for you back home. But keep this one to yourself!

Rob (friend of Marc) Take it easy, Marco, you big numpty, don’t get shot and let me know when you’ll be back on R and R. We’ll have a blast (ha ha), I’ve got the ladeez lined up and waiting for you …

Lauren I found a box of matches in my old handbag yesterday. They were from that seafood place you took me on our third date. Do you remember what you wrote on them? I cried so much when I saw them again. But don’t worry darling, I’m fine. I just miss you a ton.

Richard Dear Mum, thanks for the packages. Hope everything’s OK back home. Not much to report from here. Same shit, different days. Still hot as hell.

Roger Chris mate! All the lads say you’re a jack bastard for pissing off early. Jonesy reckons you knew it was there but stepped on it anyway so you could dodge the rest of the tour. Mind you, can’t blame you — those QE Nurses sound worth it!

Frank You mustn’t worry about me, baby, I’ll be fine. But I am missing you loads. I think my balls are going to explode!

Marc Robbo, you prick! Good to hear from you, mate, and thanks for the mags. Keep ’em coming! LOL.

Chris Hearing from the lads after I got back helped loads. I thought about them tons. What are they doing? Has anyone been hit? Cos you don’t know until they come rolling into the hospital. So yeah, those bluies meant a lot.

Lauren The second tour was easier than the first. I knew I wouldn’t hear from him for five, six weeks at a time, so I’d make plans to distract myself. Weekends at the spa with the girls, that kind of thing. He asked me to send him porn, which I did. But I never sent him photos of me like that. I’ve seen too many of the ones sent by the other girls to fall for that. I mean, I’m not going to provide relief for the whole unit!

Dave I’m losing lots of weight in this heat. You’ll have a new man when I come home! I think about you all the time. We’ll have to do something special when I come back, take a trip with the kids or something.

Charlie I head out on a ‘camping trip’ with the ‘boy scouts’ next week. I’ll call as soon as I can, I promise! I love you, honey. Not long to go now. I know you hate this, just please don’t hate me for it.

Soldiers (sung)

Please don’t worry, I’m with a good bunch of lads.

And, you know, we look out for each other.

Letter Writers (sung)

Hope you get this, hope you’re safe, hope everything’s all right. Miss you.

Soldiers (sung)

Send my love to Mum and Dad.

I don’t know when I’ll call again.

Letter Writers (sung)

Everyone here is thinking of you.

We’ve heard nothing on the news. Miss you.

Soldiers (sung)

All my love, all my love.

Letter Writers (sung)

Look after yourself, my love. And come home soon.

Daniel No one gets to keep their mobile phone. They’re too easy to intercept. Or if the enemy get hold of the sim card, then they phone the families at home, tell them their son or husband’s been captured, and that isn’t good. So each week we get twenty welfare minutes on the sat phone instead. It’s great, to hear your wife’s voice, to speak to the kids. But it’s really hard too. You feel the distance. After speaking with them I have to try really hard to disconnect from them again. Otherwise it gets to you. And saying goodbye, that’s the hardest. Saying goodbye.

Letter Writers (sung)

Kiss, kiss. Love you. Kiss, kiss. Love you.

PS. PS. Love you. Love you.

Soldiers (sung)

All my love. All my love. All my love.

Letter Writers (sung)

Kiss, kiss. Love you. Kiss, kiss. Love you.

The singing repeats and fades as both groups return to reading their letters on either side of the stage.

Roger is watching John, who looks distressed.

Roger Of course sometimes the news from home is bad news. Your dog’s died. Someone’s ill. Or your missus has dumped you. There’s always a few Dear Johns. But you can’t let it get to the lads. You can’t have one of your boys out on patrol who hasn’t got his head on the job. So you’ve got to sort them out, whatever it takes.

Marc Oi, Philips. What you got there?

Richard She hasn’t, has she? The bitch.

John Yeah, she has.

Marc Come on then.

Marc takes the letter from John.

‘Dear John’ — Fuck, I can’t believe she actually gets to write that. ‘Dear John, I know this will be hard for you to read, but please believe me this is even harder for me to say.’

Darren Yeah, I bet it is love, cos you’ve got mortars coming in and only ration packs for the next five months too, haven’t you?

Marc ‘I’m just not sure I can do this any more.’

Richard More like she’s doing some other bloke, some matlow or civvie down the pub.

Marc ‘When I read about that soldier killed last week, I felt so sick, thinking it could have been you.’

Frank So you thought you’d bin him. Yeah, nice.

Dave Fucking witch.

Marc ‘I know I said I would wait for you, but I didn’t know it would be like this.’

Marc hands the bluey back to John. The Soldiers start singing ‘Plenty More Fish in the Sea’ by The Streets.

John cracks a smile.

Roger You have to make them smile. What else you going to do? You’ve got to defuse stuff quickly, and humour’s the best way to do that. Attack, like they say, it’s the best form of defence, isn’t it?

Lights come up on Sarah and a Chaplain. She is dressed in funeral black, her head bowed. He wears a stole and cross.

Chaplain We are gathered here today to honour the life and memory of Lance Corporal Andrew Jones, a young man of extraordinary courage who was willing to lay down his life for the lives of others and to pay the ultimate sacrifice in the defence of his country.

The Soldiers gather around the Chaplain and begin singing ‘Abide with Me’. The hymn continues under the following action.

Sarah walks downstage.

Sarah It’s wonderful when he calls, of course it is. But it’s so frustrating too. There’s so much we can’t say. Or don’t say. I have to talk to him about all this ordinary stuff, about seeing friends, going shopping, what the weather’s like, when all I really want to ask him is, were you shot at today? Are you OK? Are you going out on any more ops? But I can’t, can I? Because he can’t tell me. Because all I’ll get is silence. And I understand that, I do. Because sometimes there are things I can’t tell him either.

A phone rings. Sarah answers her mobile. The lights come up on the other side of the stage to reveal Daniel on a sat phone. Frank waits a little way behind him.

Daniel Darling? Darling, it’s me.

Sarah Oh, it’s so good to hear you. How are you?

Daniel I’m fine, fine.

Sarah Did you get the recipes?

Daniel Yes, I did. Thanks. Though not sure I’m really doing them justice.

Beat.

Sarah How is it out there?

Daniel Hot. Even hotter than before, if that’s possible.

Sarah Right.

Daniel And there?

Sarah All fine. Good. Been raining today. Lucy’s at netball though, so …

Daniel Oh yes. Yes, that’s Tuesdays and Thursdays now, isn’t it?

Sarah Yes. She sent you a bluey yesterday.

Daniel Great. Did she get mine?

Sarah Not yet, no.

Beat.

Daniel Did you hear about Jones?

Sarah Yes, I did. His poor mother. I’ve written to her.

Daniel Yes, so have I.

Beat.

But you mustn’t worry. Everything’s fine, really.

Sarah Right. Yes.

The phone starts beeping.

Daniel Look, darling, I think I’m about to run out of minutes. I’m so sorry. I’ll top up tomorrow.

Sarah OK. Don’t forget we’ll be at your mother’s next week.

Daniel Yes. Of course. I love you.

Sarah I love you too.

The line goes dead. They both look at their handsets for a moment. Daniel hands the sat phone to Frank. As Frank dials, Daniel walks downstage.

Just before he speaks we see Michelle take Sarah’s place to answer Frank’s call. She carries a baby with one hand, holds the phone in her other. We don’t hear their conversation.

Daniel Sometimes I think we say more with our silences than we do with our words. But it has to be that way. And not just for security. If she knew what I was doing, well, it would be hell for her. But I understand it must be just as difficult not knowing. But what can we do? It’s still worth it — hearing her voice, speaking to Lucy. It’s about staying in touch, isn’t it? About staying in contact.

As soon as Daniel says the word ‘contact’ —

All Soldiers (shouted) CONTACT!

The sound of small arms fire, mortars, UGLs and RPGs.

The Soldiers scramble for helmets and weapons and begin laying down rounds in a defensive shoot.

Frank tries to turn off the sat phone, but fails. Michelle is left listening to the contact. She shouts Frank’s name into the phone but her voice is drowned by the gunfire.

The sound of battle stops and a single spot lights Michelle.

Michelle I had to listen to that contact for over five minutes. Explosions. Bullets. Shouting. It was two weeks before I heard from him again.

Fade to black.

SCENE NINE — CONTACT

Charlie, without his prosthetic leg, sits in a wheelchair opposite a Psychologist. As they talk, the silhouette of a man with a Vallon mine-detector occasionally passes them.

Charlie What’s it like? Jeez, well, kinda like everything you imagine. And not. I mean, when I first got out there it was like I was watching Apocalypse Now. I didn’t know where to look, where to go, what was dangerous, what was safe. You come off the Chinook and the heat hits you like a punch in the face. And the smell. Shit and dust. It was the first time I’d heard a proper weapons system, outside the firing range. And, I mean, it’s being discharged at you. Crack — thump. Crack — thump. The crack of the bullet snapping the air, then the thump of the weapon. And everything is reverbing, so yeah, it wasn’t so much confusing as disorienting. Because I mean, we’re well trained but we’re pretty much straight off the fucking plane here.

Psychologist And what about your first contact? How did you find that?

Charlie Well, it kinda found us really. They attacked our compound and, I won’t lie, Doc, it was fucking great. It was like, finally, we get to do our job. We’d had weeks of just gash sweeps, sangar duty, that kinda shit. So to finally have a defensive shoot — it was the best day of my military career. It was simple, you know? They brought the fight to us. We won, they lost. We suffered no casualties, but lots of our guys got confirmed kills. So yeah, it felt really, really good.

The following speeches are projected on to the gauze.

Roger You can’t tell how you’ll react. When that first RPG went across our bonnet me and Jimmy just looked at each other, then started laughing. A month later he was dead, killed by one.

Frank Your training kicks in. There’s so much adrenalin the body takes over. And you’ve got rounds coming the other way too, at you, so yeah, I was just trying to stay alive.

Simi It was the kids that were my deepest surprise. On Telic 8. Coming at you with automatic weapons, petrol bombs. Eleven, twelve years old. And you have to make that choice. It’s you or them. You fire some rounds over their heads, and you hope they run away. But if they don’t, then …

Richard I loved my first contact. I was in an orchard with my mate Parry. A sniper’s round just missed my head. I felt it brush past my face. We didn’t have our gats, so we ran for it, back to the camp, with the whole orchard being thrown up around us. And Parry, he starts singing from behind me, ‘Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run.’ Just over and over. When we got our rifles, we just ran straight back into it. And we were, like, is this what we’re meant to be doing? But yeah, it’s a real buzz, it is.

Psychologist And how did that experience change for you? Over the tours?

Charlie Well the war changed, didn’t it? Afghanistan changed. I mean, on Herrick 5 it was Wild West stuff, bandit country. Ten dollar Taliban doing Beirut unloads. A lot of spray and pray, shoot and scoot. But by Herrick 14 it was proper guerilla warfare. Seasoned warriors. Giving us come-ons, planting IEDs fucking everywhere. I mean, Sangin was IED central. Low metal content, infra-red switches, strapping bombs to donkeys. They were even planting decoys so they could watch how we examined them. You had to respect your enemy. Were they honourable tactics? No. Was it effective guerilla warfare? Yes. I mean, the guy who did this to me did a really, really good job. He killed two incredibly good soldiers and took myself and JJ out of action. It was a legacy IED, laid a while ago. But the batteries — those batteries had been changed regularly, to keep it active.

Roger, Frank, Daniel and Richard enter as a patrol in full combat gear. They slowly move in formation downstage.

Psychologist Were you out on patrol often?

Charlie Yeah. I mean, you’ve got to take the fight to them, haven’t you? You can’t just sit back in the compound with your thumb firmly up your ass. But I’ll tell you, Doc, that first time I stepped outside the gate, my mouth went dry. I had to take a sip from my CamelBak straight away because … well, we were suddenly outside our comfort zone. You know that once you’re out that gate anything could happen, at anytime. And that it probably will. Every day we were playing Afghan roulette.

Roger We’d snake, spread out, change our routes. We had two Vallon men on most patrols, and ECMs. But sometimes there was nothing you could do. There were some bad days. Once, in the same afternoon, we lost two blokes and an interpreter. But there were good days too, you know, when you’re seeing them drop.

Frank We’d always be watching the atmospherics. If you see the women and children start to leave, or some bloke who might be dicking you, we’d go firm, straight away. Take no chances.

Daniel You’ve got your eyes down all the time, trying to follow the Vallon man’s route exactly, trying to step in the other man’s prints. But then you’re also trying to look for firing points, or murder holes. And trying to command. There’s a lot of tension. Then the next day we’d be at a Shura, a gathering of the local elders. And for all I knew the hand I was shaking had planted the bomb that blew up one of my boys the week before.

Angus Coming back from one patrol we saw a leg in a tree. It was a come-on. I sent an Afghan National to investigate and sure enough the Taliban started firing grenades. We still got the leg. It belonged to a marine from J Company, killed the week before.

Richard On my second tour we never saw them, not once. It was like fighting ghosts. You might see a muzzle flash, a puff of smoke, but that was it. When we did night ops sometimes they’d communicate by howling like animals, like dogs. That could be pretty scary. I took a Pashtun language course before I went out. That helped loads. I could talk to people when we were out on patrol. Sometimes they’d tell us where the Taliban were, or warn us off certain routes. I reckon that language course saved us more than our Ospreys.

Psychologist And what about relations with the locals? Did you have much interaction?

Charlie Well, yeah, sure, hearts and minds and all that. But that was the biggest change of all, Doc. I mean, knowing who the enemy were. On the early tours you could bet anyone still in the smashed-up village you were occupying was up to no good. But then later? On Herrick 12, 13, 14? It was a whole different ball game. Farmers, bazaars, kids, families. So the war card changed, didn’t it? You had to PID someone before you fired.

Psychologist PID?

Charlie Postively identify. Which I completely understand, but it was like we were stuck between these two fucking TLAs — PID and IED with old ‘Tommy Atkins’ getting fucked over in the middle.

Beat.

The only way I can explain it is that you’re not living with ‘if’ any more, but ‘when’. A company loses a man and things change. The young ones want revenge. It gets personal. You’re out there for each other. That’s it. You’re fighting for the man next to you. Fuck anything else. But at the same time you’re waking up every day expecting something to happen. It’s like there’s five of you in a car, going on a road trip, but you know at the end of that trip two of you will have lost your legs, one of you will be dead and another one will be wounded. You just don’t know who, or when.

Psychologist Do you want to talk about your ‘when’, Charlie?

Beat.

Charlie Sure. I was taking part in an op …

Simi enters. She begins singing her gospel song to the tune of ‘His Eyes on the Sparrow’.

Daniel I was commanding a company …

Richard I was on top cover …

Frank I was against a wall …

Roger I was in a Snatch …

Young Simi I was in the comms room …

Marc I was on patrol …

All When / When / When / When …

A sudden simultaneous moment of contact. The sound of explosions and gunfire. In slow motion Frank is hit by an RPG. Richard is blown from his vehicle. Roger’s Snatch turns over. Chris, Daniel, Charlie and Leroy are hit by IEDs. Simi, still singing, has joined Young Simi in the centre of the stage.

Young Simi There were two mortars, back to back. The first one killed my best friend. I was trying to get to him when the second one brought the wall down on me.

She kneels in front of Simi.

I was trapped. They were trying to dig me out. But all I could hear was Mummy, singing the song we always sang.

As Young Simi also starts singing ‘His Eyes on the Sparrow’, Simi combs her hair, as in the earlier scene. All around them the moments of wounding continue.

The non-wounded Soldiers form medic teams around those who are down. Shouts of ‘Man Down!’, ‘Morphine!’, T1 casualty reports.

John is crouched over Chris. Angus over Frank. Darren over Daniel. Marc over Roger. Dave over Richard.

As the medics work the wounded Soldiers sit up to speak.

Daniel I was blown twenty metres …

Frank I heard the rocket coming in …

Richard I was blown sixty feet …

Chris I caught the backlash …

Roger The Snatch went over and I hit the roof …

Daniel The shrapnel went through the back of my brain …

Frank It shattered my cheek bone, pierced my eye …

Richard My mates thought I’d bought it, that I was pink mist …

Chris I felt the sand hitting my face …

Roger I could hear the others screaming, as it filled with water …

Simi and Young Simi’s singing fades to silence.

Richard And then there was silence …

Frank Just this ringing in my ears, nothing else …

Chris Just a blue sky above me …

Daniel And nothing else …

All lie down to be treated again. Leroy sits up on the other side of the stage.

Leroy My mate had been shot. So I was like, fuck this! Osprey off, helmet off, dropped my GPMG. Got him over my shoulder and ran for it. Then, everything went dark. No boom, no hitting the ground, no pain. I was just lying on the floor.

He lies back down as John and Angus run over to him.

John Fuck! You all right, mate?

Leroy Yeah, yeah, I’m good.

Angus Yeah, you fucking look it, mate.

Leroy What’s that supposed to mean?

Angus and John start treating him.

John You’re going to be OK, mate, you’re going to be OK.

Leroy looks up and sees his legs have gone.

Leroy Fuck! Oh fuck!

Angus You’ve been hit by an IED, mate. But you’re going to be fine, you’re going to be fine.

John checks his balls.

You’ve still got your balls, mate.

Leroy Fuck, I’m going to die! I’m going to die! Give me a cigarette! Give me a cigarette!

Angus You’re not going to die.

John We can’t give you a fag, we can’t, mate.

Leroy I’m going to fucking die, give me what I want!

John hands him a fag, and lights it. John, Angus and Leroy all inhale deeply.

I swear, that fag went down in one drag. My right leg was still hanging by a thread but as they carried me away it fell off and rolled into a ditch. I was like, ‘Get my leg, get my fucking leg.’ They couldn’t reach it, so the lads gave me a stick, said ‘Here’s your fucking leg,’ and at the time I could have sworn it was. The last thing I remember is passing out in the chopper, thinking, ‘Fuck me, I didn’t even have any last words.’ Apparently I came round again in Bastion. I was crying, screaming for my mum. But I don’t remember any of that.

As Angus and John exit carrying Leroy.

Sarah and Lauren enter to stand in front of two screened hospital beds.

Sarah For three weeks we experienced two different kinds of hell. He was suffering hallucinations in his coma, while I was out here, not knowing if he was going to live or die. It was strange, because he looked perfect. He was dirty, but he was tanned too, and really lean and fit. And his skin … they all come back with such good skin. Sand-blasted, smooth. But he wasn’t perfect. Far from it. Three times I took the kids in to see him because the doctors thought he wouldn’t last the night. We assumed he didn’t know we were there. But in a way he did. He told me afterwards that each time we’d gone in he’d had the same hallucination. He was coming to meet us at the funfair. But every time, just before he reached us, he’d have to say goodbye. To me. To the kids. That was him fighting for us I suppose. Saying goodbye at the fun fair.

Beat.

On the first night, just after he was brought in, I went to have a cup of tea in the waiting room. There were two other women in there, on their knees, on the floor, praying. They were wearing burkas. I know I shouldn’t have, but I felt so angry at them. I mean, Daniel was fighting for his life next door. But then I heard them say his name. Major Daniel Thomas. And I realised they were praying for him. They were praying for all the patients on the ward.

Lauren paces up and down.

Lauren Please save him. Please, oh please. I promise if you do I’ll come to church every week. I will. I’ll go and see Mum more often. I’ll cut back on the drink. I will. I’ll … I’ll give more money to charity. I’ll do a night every week in the soup kitchen. I’ll stop smoking. Really. I will. Just let him live. Please let him live.

A Doctor enters.

Doctor Miss Preston?

Lauren Yes. That’s me.

Doctor You’re Charles’s …

Lauren Fiancée. Yes, yes, I am. Is he OK? Is he going to be all right?

Doctor Well, he’s been really put through it. But yes. He’s going to pull through.

She flings her arms around him.

Lauren Oh God, thank you! Thank you so much! Can I see him?

Doctor Not yet. He’s still in surgery. But in about an hour or so, that should be fine.

The Doctor exits. Lauren roots in her bag for a cigarette.

Lauren Oh thank you, thank you!

She pulls out a cigarette and is about to light it when she pauses. She looks up.

Lauren After this. OK? I promise. Last one.

The lights fade up on Charlie and the Psychologist upstage.

Charlie But like I said, I don’t remember any of that. I was there, but I wasn’t.

Psychologist Right.

The faint sound of military radio chatter, the thudding of a helicopter, building through his speech.

Charlie I don’t remember waking up.

I don’t remember eating breakfast.

I don’t remember being given orders, or loading up, or leaving the compound.

I don’t remember going where we went.

I don’t remember walking through an archway, a low archway.

I don’t remember the IED going off.

None of that.

Beat.

Just that taste. Grit in the mouth. And a few sounds. I remember a few sounds.

The sounds begin to fade.

But that’s because it’s the last to go I guess. Your hearing. Your hearing’s the last to go.

The sounds fade to silence.

Fade to black.

Act Two

SCENE ONE — PHYSIO

Physio room.

Classical music.

Lights come up to reveal an amputee wearing a regimental T-shirt sitting on a therapeutic ball working with his physiotherapist. Using a pair of bats they hit a bright orange balloon back and forth. Other patients enter, all wearing regimental T-shirts. Other physios also enter. They begin performing different exercises.

Charlie enters on crutches.

Charlie Welcome back. So, yeah, this is where we come afterwards. When we survive. Personally I thought I was going to Heaven. I’m not kidding, a lot of us here did. You’re floating on the morphine, you’re being medevaced into the heelo. There’s this ringing in your ears and a blue sky above you. You’ve just been blown up — where do you think you’d be going?

Turns out I was wrong though. Wasn’t Heaven. It was Selly Oak. Then here.

Beat.

It’s a bit like doing basic training again — ‘Break to build’, that’s what they told us back then. Well, we’re sure as hell broken now, aren’t we? So, plenty of building to be done. Learning drills and skills for our ‘new normal’. Our new world. Our ‘brave new world’. That has such creatures in it …

So yeah, this is, I guess, our new drill square. The physios our new PT instructors. The doctors, consultants, our majors and generals. Prosthetics, wheelchairs, meds, our new kit. The operations our, well, new operations. It’s a bit of a freak show to be honest with you. I wasn’t too happy about it at first, I mean, a few weeks ago I was a steely-eyed dealer of death. Then, wham, bam, thank you mam, and I’m in this circus. Seals on bouncy balls. In Surrey.

He looks about the arches of the set.

And very nice it is too. Big grounds, gardens, orchards, regular Downton fucking Abbey.

As Charlie takes his place in the physio room Richard enters, wearing headphones. His physio tells him to remove them.

As he does the music switches from classical to dance. The exercises begin to syncopate into a choreographed dance.

SCENE TWO — FLASHBACK

The physio dance routine is suddenly interrupted by a massive blast. A cloud of dust blows in from offstage. All the patients and physios collapse to the floor. The stage darkens. Torch beams sweep the scene as two soldiers in full combat gear, Darren and Marc, enter from the direction of the blast. They are panicked by what they see.

Darren Oh Jesus. Fuck, fuck! They’re locals!

Marc They said it was empty!

Darren Well, it obviously fucking wasn’t, was it?

Darren begins checking for signs of life.

Marc But we saw them leaving! We saw them fucking leaving!

Daniel enters

Daniel Jesus Christ! What the fuck is this, Sobey?

Darren We didn’t know, sir!

Daniel Any survivors?

Darren No sir.

Marc We saw them leave! We saw them fucking leaving!

Daniel Zero two zero alpha. Civilian casualties. Wait out. Move on through. Sobey? Clear?

Darren moves to check their exit.

Darren Clear.

Daniel Anderson. For fuck’s sake, Anderson!

Darren and Marc exit. Daniel remains, looking at the bodies about him. A faint musical score begins towards the end of his speech.

Daniel OPTAG prepares you for most things. But there’s no training for this. Seeing it, smelling it. Which is why when some of us come back from Afghan, Afghan stays with us. Or us with it. You walk these corridors at night and, believe me, you’ll hear a bit of Afghan behind every door. Sangin … Kajaki …

He begins to move upstage, picking his way through the bodies.

Musa Qala … Nad Ali … Gereshk … Lashkar Gah … Garmsir … FOB Gibraltar … FOB Jackson … FOB Inkerman …

SCENE THREE — SLEEP

Daniel exits. The bodies remain motionless for a moment before beginning to shift and turn. As the musical score gets louder they become syncopated, repeating a sequence of movements of discomfort.

Women

It’s not re-living it. It’s living it. You’re in it. You’re there, doing it.

All

Worse at night, always worse at night. Worse at night, always worse at night.

Men

Scared. Scared to close my eyes. Scared to put my head on the pillow.

Scared. Scared to close my eyes. Scared to put my head on the pillow.

All

It’s not re-living it. It’s living it. You’re in it. You’re there, doing it.

Worse at night, always worse at night. Worse at night, always worse at night.

Richard For two years I couldn’t sleep. Every fucking night. Just images, flicking through. Being blown up. Yanks on fire running into walls. Prodding through dead bodies in some fucking IED factory. Just all sorts of crazy shit, flicking, bouncing from one to the other. I’d be banging my head against the wall, just to take my mind off it, then … then I’m like, yeah, that fucking hurts.

John It’s not re-living it. It’s living it. You’re in it. You’re there, doing it.

All

Worse at night, always worse at night. Worse at night, always worse at night.

Roger I had to stay up. I forced myself not to go to sleep. As soon as you close your eyes you see them again. All sorts of situations. Rounds going past your head. Mortars landing metres away. Bodies of kids floating downstream. And you think to yourself, why am I fucking here? Why aren’t I dead? Who’s looking after us?

Angus Scared, scared to close my eyes. Scared to put my head on the pillow.

Women

It’s not re-living it, it’s living it. You’re in it, you’re there, doing it.

Leroy Mine has its own timetable. It’ll come and go. It’s like, really awkward. It’s space that brings it on. If I sleep in a double bed, then I dream I’m on patrol again. But in my sleep I can control where we go. I still get blown up, though. Every time. Sometimes I’m in my wheelchair, but no one says anything, like, ‘Why’s Leroy in a fucking wheelchair?’ But, yeah, if I sleep in a corner, up against a wall, holding my stumps, that makes it go away.

Charlie For my missus I’m the nightmare. Sweating, reaching for my weapon, taking cover across the carpet. She has to sleep in the corner of the bed. Or I just stay awake, listening to the night. Sometimes I hit myself in the face. To take my mind off it. Or you drink. Hopefully between finishing drinking and falling asleep you don’t have too much time to think. Hopefully.

Richard If you do you’re fucked –

Chris Fucked –

Roger Fucked –

All Fucked.

Lauren He was drinking so much he’d just collapse into bed and then, God! The snoring! All night.

Michelle He thrashes around. And the sweating. The sweating’s the worst. One night he was shouting, ‘Contact!’ ‘Contact!’ So I touched him, to wake him, and … and he punched me in the face.

Sarah For months he didn’t sleep. We’d just read until morning. Or talk. He doesn’t like the silence, it gives him time to think.

Lauren One night, I feel bad saying this, but one night I leant over and whispered into his ear, ‘Gas, gas, gas!’ Like I said, I felt bad, but I did get some sleep.

Sarah I have it too. It was five in the morning when they came to tell me. And now I wake every morning at five. That knock on the door, it’s in my head, in my body clock, forever.

Women

It’s not re-living it, it’s living it. You’re in it, you’re there, doing it.

All

Worse at night, always worse at night. Worse at night, always worse at night.

Men

Scared, scared to close my eyes. Scared to put my head on the pillow.

Scared, scared to close my eyes. Scared to put my head on the pillow.

Women

It’s not re-living it, it’s living it. You’re in it, you’re there, doing it.

All

Worse at night, always worse at night. Worse at night, always worse at night.

Richard It’s the pain that triggers it. It’s always there, bubbling away, but worse at night. Always worse at night.

Chris Sometimes I just cry, because of the pain, the things it makes me think about.

Leroy It won’t go away. It makes me want to smash something. I can’t do anything to stop it. Like nails under the skin.

Roger It’s all down the left side of my neck, in my brain, down my shoulder and into my back. I try to put it in on a shelf, over there. I use distractions too — reading poetry, stripping my weapons, a shitload of drugs. But then sometimes it just takes over and that’s when I have to ring the kids’ mum and say, ‘I can’t have them this weekend.’ And that’s terrible, because its my kids that keep me going.

Becky As the nerves in my leg began to die I developed neuropathic pain. For three months I lay on the floor holding my leg, screaming as 10,000 volts went through my body. Whenever it wanted, for as long as it wanted. I put my fist through a computer screen. I hit people. You can’t focus on anything but the pain. You take the meds and they make you live in a fog. So I asked them to cut my leg off, but now I have phantom pain. Those 10,000 volts still going through a leg I don’t have. Nails being driven into my heel. A lit match stuck under my toenail and left to burn for days.

All exit.

SCENE FOUR — BRIEFING 2

Daniel enters upstage in his major’s uniform. He begins to walk downstage.

Daniel Nostalgia.

Melancholia.

Wind contusions.

Soldier’s heart.

Abreaction.

Effort syndrome

NYDM (not yet diagnosed — mental)

NYDN (not yet diagnosed — nervous).

Exhaustion.

Battle exhaustion.

Combat exhaustion.

Shell shock.

Neurasthenia.

Traumatic neurosis.

Psycho neurosis.

Fear neurosis.

Battle neurosis.

Lack of moral fibre.

Old sergeant syndrome.

War syndrome.

Combat fatigue.

Acute stress disorder.

Acute stress reaction.

Combat stress reaction.

Post-combat disorder.

Post-war disorder.

Post-traumatic illness.

Post-traumatic disorder.

Post-traumatic stress disorder.

Daniel exits.

SCENE FIVE — COMMON ROOM

The common room of a PRU. A group of wounded and injured soldiers congregates around a singing teacher who leads them in ‘The Grand Old Duke of York’.

All

The grand old Duke of York,

He had ten thousand men.

He marched them up to the top of the hill,

And he marched them down again.

And when they were up they were up,

And when they were down they were down,

And when they were only halfway up,

They were neither up nor down.

Singing Teacher No, no, no. Stop, stop. Enunciate, enunciate. The Grand Old Duke of York!

Leroy (wheeling away) This is bollocks.

Singing Teacher Leroy. Leroy, where are you going?

Leroy For a fag.

Leroy exits.

Others begin to drift away.

Singing Teacher Right, OK. Yes, OK, let’s take a break. Fifteen minutes. Back here at two!

The Soldiers disperse. Chris is on his laptop. Frank inserts a DVD into his and starts working. The others sit in a group.

Ali Who does he think we are? The Army Wives’ Choir?

Marc Ah come on! It’s for BLESMA. You have that leg off and the cash we raise’ll be going straight to you.

Ali Well, we’d better come up with something better than ‘Grand Old Duke of York’ then, hadn’t we? Cos last time I checked a top-of-the-range C-leg cost more than fucking 50p.

Roger Sixty grand. That’s what I heard. Same as a Javelin missile.

Richard I took out a Tali with one of those once. Fucking pink mist mate, pink mist.

Ali That, my friend, is the power of economics. They pay a farmer ten dollars to take pot shots at you, and you fucking obliterate him with sixty grand’s worth of missile.

Roger All’s fair, like they say.

Charlie In war maybe. Not in fucking love.

Ali You’re not still bleating about your missus, are you?

Charlie Yeah, I am actually. You got a problem with that?

Darren I’m telling you, you’re better off without. Mine fucked off before I got back. I wasn’t even injured yet. They look nice enough, but they’re all fucking nuts.

Ali Yours didn’t even look that nice.

Roger That’s no way to talk about your mother, Ali.

Ali Fuck you.

Darren He’s a got a point. Not that I ever saw that much of her. Which was a bit ironic seeing as she worked for Ann Summers. Had sex toys coming out of my ears, but no sex. Three double penetrators but no one to fucking penetrate.

Becky enters wearing her prosthetic leg. She carries a clipboard.

Becky Anyone still want to sign up for kayaking down the Amazon?

Dave When is it again?

Becky September.

Dave Can’t. Rowing the Atlantic.

Frank Kilimanjaro.

Ali Is Harry on this one?

Becky No

Ali Right, I’m in.

Marc Cheryl Cole?

Becky Not yet, Marc, but I’m sure if you ask her nicely. Anyone else? Last chance to put your name down. Come on, guys, any volunteers?

Ali, Marc, Richard, Roger and Simi exit. Becky exits.

In the brief quiet we hear Chris on the phone. Darren begins to fall asleep.

Chris It’s blue. On the top. There’s a go-faster stripe down the side? No? Oh, OK, well thanks.

He hangs up, looks up another number from his screen and begins to dial.

Leroy enters. Charlie has taken the sock off his stump and is massaging his scar.

Leroy How come your stump’s so fucking Gucci?

Charlie Gucci? What’s so fucking Gucci about my stump?

Leroy The scar. Yours is well neat. Mine’s like a fucking arse.

He rolls up his trouser leg.

Look, it’s got bum cheeks and everything. I could fart out of this fucker.

Charlie You should get some ink on that.

He looks at it more closely.

I mean, I was going to make mine a shark’s mouth. But that. You’re halfway to a whole face there. Or even a knob.

Leroy Already got one of those thanks. Don’t need another one.

Darren stirs.

Darren Unless you’re into double penetration.

He falls back to sleep.

Leroy What did he say?

Charlie Do you still feel yours?

Leroy My knob?

Charlie No! Your legs.

Leroy Yeah. Not always, but sometimes. If I sit on the floor it feels like my legs are going through the floor. It’s fucking weird.

Charlie I get this itch in my ankle. The one that isn’t there any more? Drives me fucking mad. Feels like my whole leg is in a really thick ski boot.

Chris Um, Nike, I think. Yeah, Nike.

Leroy Charlie, you been offered much porn work?

Charlie What?

Leroy Porn. Since you lost your leg? You been offered any work?

Charlie Er, no?

Beat.

Why, have you?

Leroy Yeah. Loads.

Charlie Really?

Leroy Yeah. Must be a double amputee thing, I guess.

Charlie That’s sick.

Beat.

You ever do it?

Leroy Went along once. But, nah. Didn’t follow through. She was really fat. And she had this weird birthmark.

Charlie Er, right. And of course you’re fucking Tom Cruise.

Leroy You’d be surprised. Women love this. They do.

Chris Hello. Is that the White Horse? I was just wondering if you’d found a leg … It’s blue, on the top. It’s got a trainer on it. Nike … OK, thanks.

Chris hangs up.

Charlie Chris, what the fuck are you doing? You sound like Cinderella.

Chris Trying to find my leg, aren’t I?

Leroy Where’d you last see it?

Chris In the Black Lion, I think.

He points to Frank.

You was drinking out of it!

Frank Was I?

Charlie Actually, now I come to think of it, yeah, you were. Snakebite and black.

Frank Nice.

Chris Yeah, great. Only now I’ve got no fucking leg for the weekend, have I?

Leroy What you doing on there, Frank?

Frank Editing Jonesy’s tapes innit.

Charlie Jonesy? 42 Commando?

Frank Yeah.

Charlie Killed same day as … oh Christ, what was his name?

Frank Steve.

Charlie Yeah, yeah. Steve Owens.

Leroy Why you editing them?

Frank His mum found them in his stuff when it was sent back. She wants me to put them on to DVD, so she can watch them. So now I’ve got to fucking edit them all, haven’t I?

Charlie Why?

Frank Cos half of them is him saying he loves his mum, what it’s like in Afghan an’ that. But then the other half’s this fucking stuff.

Frank presses play. The sounds of two people having sex. Frank shows the laptop to Charlie and Chris.

Charlie Jesus fucking Christ!

Leroy She’s wearing his beret!

Chris joins them. As one they all turn their heads to the side, until they are horizontal to the screen.

All Fuck!

A Delivery Man enters, holding a pair of mannequin’s legs.

Delivery Man Er, anyone know where I’m putting these?

Frank, Charlie, Chris and Leroy all look up at him. For a moment they stare at him, the sound of Jonesy having sex still coming from the computer.

Leroy Are you taking the piss?

Delivery Man Sorry?

A second Delivery Man enters, carrying the body of the mannequin. It wears a ‘Team GB’ lycra top.

Charlie What the fuck?

The Delivery Man looks down at his docket as Becky enters.

Delivery Man This is, er …?

Becky Yes, it is. Thanks, I’ll sign for those. (To the Soldiers.) Perhaps we can let Jonesy rest in peace now?

Frank turns off the volume.

Becky (to the Delivery Men) Just through there please, next to the display for the Paralympics. Thanks.

The Delivery Men go to exit. As they pass Charlie takes one of the legs.

Charlie You won’t be needing this. It’s for the Para Olympics?

The Delivery Man shrugs and exits with just the one leg. Charlie hands the leg to Chris.

Here you go, Cinders. Until you track down your glass slipper.

Chris Fucking great, thanks.

A Nurse enters.

Nurse Corporal Fowler?

Charlie Yes ma’m! You come to take me away from this tea party? Please say you have.

She hands him a package.

Nurse This came for you. (To all.) Meds in five minutes!

Ali enters with the rest of the group who left. Charlie begins to unwrap his package.

Ali Thank fuck for that.

Darren stirs again.

What’s with Sobey?

Roger It’s the meds, isn’t it? The Tramadol. Or the MSTs. Knocks you clean out. It’s why I’ve started drilling my kids.

Ali You drill your kids? What the fuck for?

Roger In case they have to get out the house when they come see me. Escape ladders, fire blankets.

He points at Darren.

I mean, I’m not going to be much good to them if I’m like that, am I? Their mum only lets them stay if she’s seen them do the drill.

Darren stirs.

Darren I just take paracetamol round the kids. Can’t let them see me like this. They think I’m drunk.

He falls asleep again.

Ali He’s like the dormouse, the fucking dormouse from Alice in Wonderland! Calling Sobey! Are you receiving us?

Charlie pulls out a rectangular piece of metal from his package.

Charlie Sweet! Take a look at that, motherfuckers.

He turns the object around to reveal a personalised numberplate. N0 LEG 14.

The group nod in approval.

Roger Herrick 14?

Charlie Yeah.

Richard What you got coming?

Charlie BMW 3 series. Black. If I’d lost a nut or the other leg I’d have gone for a Merc, but you know, needs must.

Ali I swear, it’s getting like a footballer’s driveway round here. What is it with you lot and the cars?

Leroy Motobility, isn’t it? You go for having that off and you’ll qualify too.

Ali Don’t joke, mate. I’ve been thinking about it. I mean, it’s still killing me and I’m still in this wheelchair when other blokes who’ve lost their leg are up and about already, aren’t they? Climbing fucking Everest. I mean, what?

Leroy Just watch out for the small talk, that’s all I’d say.

Ali What?

Leroy I’m not kidding. It’s the worst thing about it. You wheel into a room and you can fucking bet some old regimental duffer will clock you and think, ‘Oh, young bloke, no legs, I’ll go and talk to him.’ It’s like, I just want a drink, or some food but I can’t because I’m too busy passing the fucking time of day with Colonel Blimp about having no fucking legs.

Three Nurses enter carrying trays of medication.

Roger Eh up! Make room for the cavalry.

The Nurses begin going about the room, handing out the medication.

Ali and Roger (singing)

And when they were up they were up

And when they were down they were down

And when they were only halfway up –

Darren is woken by the singing.

Darren

They were neither up nor down.

Ali Wa-hey, the Kraken awakes! Welcome back, Sobey, my son! Just in time for round two.

The Nurses reach the group. As they hand them their medication they begin singing ‘The Meds Round’.

All (sung)

Codeine, Tramadol, Fentanyl, Oramorph, Paracetamol, MST, Amitriptyline, Diazepam, Mirtazapine, Citalopram, Ranitidine, Omeprazole, Lactulose, Butran, Ibuprofen, Venlafaxine. Co-codamol.

The lights fade down on the repeating song.

SCENE SIX — SOMEONE TO HOLD

Lights up on a Psychologist talking to Charlie, who sits in a wheelchair without his prosthetic leg. As they talk the silhouette of a Vallon man sweeping for IEDs is seen upstage.

Psychologist … Severe allergic reactions: rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, throat, or tongue; unusual hoarseness; chest pain; confusion; difficult or painful urination; disorientation; excessive sweating; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever; hallucinations; loss of coordination; mental or mood changes, agitation, depression, red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin, and … seizures.

Charlie Severe nausea? Vomiting; diarrhoea; headaches; suicidal thoughts — cos I need more of those, right? — Loss of appetite; tiredness; weakness; pale shit and dark piss.

Beat.

And I mean, that’s just the Tramadol. Wait till you hear about the Venlafaxine –

Psychologist It’s OK, Charlie. I see your point. The meds aren’t helping?

Charlie No. The drugs, as the song says, don’t fucking work. I mean, yeah, they work, but at the same time they mess everything up.

Psychologist Like?

Charlie Sleep. Attention. Anger. Sex.

Psychologist How are things with Lauren?

Beat.

Charlie I don’t know. Answer me this, Doc? How can you be angry at someone for loving you too much? She’ll try and help me, or cuddle me — oh, yeah, cuddling, that’s the worst — and I’ll be like, ‘Get the fuck off me!’

Psychologist You’ve lost interest in sex?

Charlie No. Yes. I mean … you get back and you think what you want is a slut. It is. You think you’ll want to do all that stuff you’ve been dreaming about doing for six fucking months in the desert. But when you do get back, you don’t. You don’t. The juices aren’t flowing. Not the actual juices, no problem there — but you know, the metaphorical ones. You want something else instead.

Psychologist And what’s that? What do you want?

Charlie Exactly what she’s offering. That closeness, the contact. But when she does. There’s this fucking distance and I just want to be alone. On my own.

Dave enters and approaches the Psychologist.

Dave She doesn’t understand. She thinks I’m a lazy bastard. I know she does. She gives me these fucking chores, these lists. And then the meds knock me out. Or I haven’t slept for days because of the flashbacks. And what the kids say. That’s the worst. ‘Daddy, are you drunk?’ ‘Why is Daddy sleeping all the time?’

Psychologist Have you tried explaining things to them?

Dave Like what? How every time I see them I think of those kids in Afghan? No. I’ve put my bed in the back room now. So they don’t have to see me like this.

Psychologist And your wife? How’s she coping?

Dave Don’t get me wrong. I know how hard it’s been for her. They’ve all had to get on without me. And that’s part of the problem — they’ve got their own routines now. Without me. They live without me.

Beat.

Do you know what she said the other day? ‘Dai didn’t come back.’ That’s what she said. ‘The Dai that went away hasn’t come back.’ And in a way she’s right. She is.

Frank enters and approaches the Psychologist.

Frank I’ll just go out on the piss all day. Don’t give a fuck, then I’ll get wound up by something small and I’ll just want to smash something up. Or someone.

Psychologist Only when you drink?

Frank Well, the drink makes it worse. The anger’s there all the time. And these images. Like, I don’t fucking know. When an IED blew my mate’s hands off. The look in his eyes. That kind of thing.

Psychologist You’re on probation now, right?

Frank Yeah. But they said if I come and talk to you, it’ll keep me out of prison.

Psychologist Does that worry Michelle? You going away again? Doing time?

Frank Yeah, yeah, it does.

Beat.

I don’t know. When she’s talking to me. When I can’t be near her. I just want to go back there, get vengeance on the fuckers who done this to me. It’s like … it’s like there’s hatred running through my whole body. But I do love her. I do.

Dave She’s right. She is.

Charlie She’s pretty amazing, doc. I mean, I know she’s my solution. But I’m fucking it up. And it’s like I can’t stop.

As he continues the three women, Lauren, Marie and Michelle (carrying a child) enter and come to stand beside the three men.

It’s like I really, really want to square this one away but I can’t. It’s a whole second tour, Doc. It is. The one no one tells you about. And I don’t know if I can do it. I mean, I’ll storm a fucking compound tomorrow. Even with one fucking leg. But this tour. I’m outnumbered. You take meds for the pain, then meds for the meds. Then every time you close your eyes …

The Psychologist exits.

And the casualties. That’s what’s so fucked up. They’re the very people you always said you’d fight for. The ones you said you’d protect. The ones you love.

Charlie reaches a hand out towards Lauren. She takes off her engagement ring and places it in his palm, then turns away.

Dave reaches towards Marie. She stares at him as if she doesn’t know him, then places a child’s toy in his hand before turning away.

Frank reaches towards Michelle. She looks at the baby, then at him, then turns away.

Music: ‘Someone to Hold’ by Antony and the Johnsons.

The three women begin to dance with the three men. Ali and Leroy enter in wheelchairs and swap with Frank and Dave.

As the dancers exit Richard appears in close-up, projected on the screen.

Richard When I was in hospital, my mum, bless her, she quit her job to stay with me. She’d be trying to care for me, and I’d be like, really snappy, telling her to fuck off, go away. Then straight away I’d think, ‘Why did I do that?’ It’s weird, you want it, you do. But then you’ll be a twat, and tell them to fuck off. It’s like being two people.

The lights come up to reveal Richard on stage. He appears naked, watching YouTube clips of IED explosions.

(On screen.) But she’s amazing, she is. She’s always been there when I needed her. I’d go out on the piss, and she’d find me later, in her kitchen, fucking laughing at YouTube clips of IEDs. Just going crazy.

Tracy enters. She fetches a blanket to wrap around her son. At first he pushes her away, but then he accepts her embrace.

(On screen.) Then ten minutes later, I’d be in her arms, crying. She’s had to put up with so much. But she’s always supported me, always.

Fade to black.

SCENE SEVEN — ENEMY TERRITORY

Speeches by Becky, Chris and Daniel are projected on to the gauze.

Becky The first time you go out in public is horrible. Shops are the worst. I was terrified of someone bumping into me, of falling over. Then when you do, your pride really takes a hit. In some ways the kids are the best. They stare, but they just say it like it is, too. ‘Mummy, why has that lady got one leg?’ That kind of thing.

Chris When I got out of hospital I felt like I was in a cage. I just sat by the window in my mum and dad’s house, watching the world go by. I was scared to go outside. In the end my parents just said, ‘Right, Chris, let’s take you out.’ I was frightened of everything at first. I still can’t do bonfire nights. Any bangs, a car, a balloon, and I still shit myself.

Daniel How I think of it is, I’ve got my old brain, and my new brain. My old brain was the one that evolved for the first thirty-eight years of my life. It was me. My new brain, that’s the one I was given when I was blown up. I mean, in an instant, I became a different person. And people don’t always understand. When I say my brain hurts, or I have trouble thinking, or that I get really tired they’ll say, ‘Oh yeah, I get that sometimes too.’ It’s frustrating, because I don’t like the new me. I don’t always recognise myself, and they just don’t understand.

Becky When you’re in a FOB, or a base, anything outside those walls is dangerous territory. That’s where the stuff is going to happen. It can feel the same when you come back too. Outside the PRU, outside the safety of your room, that’s where stuff can happen. But you have to get out there, don’t you? You have to.

Lights come up to reveal a lapdancing club. Two backlit screens show the silhouettes of two Dancers. A Waitress is taking a drinks order from two Businessmen.

Charlie, Richard, Marc, Roger, Ali, Dave, Frank, Simi and Darren all enter.

As Becky, Chris and Daniel join them Charlie wheels downstage.

Charlie You know what my nickname was in the Corps? Foxtrot. And no, not for my fancy fucking footwork either. Charlie Fowler. C.F. — in NATO phonetics, ‘Charlie Foxtrot’. In Army and Navy slang — ‘Clusterfuck: a situation disintegrating in every direction at once.’ I won’t lie to you, for a while there, after this happened, I became my nickname.

I mean, I was a fucking mess. And I wasn’t alone. There’s the denial phase, the ‘sitting on your ass playing Xbox, pissing everyone off’ phase, the meds, the pain … But we’re soldiers, you know. What do they teach us in training? Adapt and overcome. And that’s what you do, eventually.

Beat.

In the end, for me, there were two things that really made that happen. The first was realising that just like you fight for your mates, your boys, out there, on the ground, so you can fight for them here too. It might be just a phone call, an email, dropping round. But you can look out for each other here just like you did on tour. I mean, whenever we pushed into new areas in Afghan, we went as a patrol, didn’t we? And it’s the same here.

He starts to wheel back upstage towards the scene in the club.

When we push into that uncharted territory, as much as possible, we do so together.

He wheels a bit further before turning back to the audience.

Oh, yeah, the second thing? Well … actually, you know what? You’re about to hear about that now anyway.

He wheels on to join the group.

Ali Charlie Boy! What’s your poison?

Charlie Beer. Thanks, man.

Richard Are we all here?

Daniel Er, yeah. Aren’t we? I thought I counted everyone off …

Ali Jesus! Who put the guy with the neuro injury in charge of numbers?

Richard And the kitty!

Becky Not any more. I’ll take that, shall I?

Daniel I could have sworn …

Leroy enters.

Leroy Great, thanks for that, lads. Had to be carried up by old Tweedledee and Tweedledum out there, didn’t I?

The two Dancers come out from behind the screen and begin to mingle among the Soldiers as the Waitress takes drinks orders.

Dancer 1 Hello love. You interested in a private dance?

Leroy Er, yeah, I guess so. Is it a lapdance?

She looks at his legs.

Dancer 1 Well, it’s hardly going to be a waltz is it, darling? Yes, it’s a lap dance.

Leroy That’s lucky, cos a lap’s all I got!

Leroy and Dancer 1 go behind the screens.

Ali All right, darling?

Waitress Evening, sir.

Ali You know what a fat penguin does?

Waitress I’m sorry?

Ali Breaks the ice! Get it? Breaks the ice …

The two Businessmen approach Charlie and Chris.

Businessman 1 All right, lads? Having a good night?

Businessman 2 Are you all, er, veterans, then? Is that it?

Charlie Well, some of us are still serving. We’re soldiers but, yeah.

Businessman 1 Well, I think you do a fantastic job. Really. People don’t recognise it enough.

Businessman 2 I’ve got a friend who was in the Army.

Charlie Right. Great.

Ali (to the Waitress, as she passes) Are your feet sore, love? Cos you’ve been running through my mind all night!

Businessman 1 Look, will you let us get you all a round. Please. It would be our pleasure.

Charlie No, honestly, you’re all right, mate.

Ali Shut up, Charlie. Jack and Coke please, mate, cheers!

Businessman 2 Waitress! Waitress! A round for these lads, please. On us.

Businessman 1 So, have you been overseas?

Charlie Yeah.

Chris Yeah.

Businessman 2 Iraq, was it?

Chris No, Afghan.

Businessman 1 Wow. Really? Did you see any action?

Charlie looks at their missing legs.

Charlie Er, yeah? A bit.

Chris Some.

Businessman 2 Did you kill any?

Charlie Sorry?

Businessman 1 I think what he’s asking is whether you killed anyone over there?

Beat.

Did you?

Charlie Er, I don’t really want to –

Businessman 2 How many? Do you know?

Chris Look –

Ali (to the Waitress) Hey, love! Is there a mirror in your knickers? Cos I can see myself in them later!

Businessman 1 I imagine it’d be hard to tell? From what I hear you don’t often see them, do you?

Roger joins the group.

Roger Look, mate, thanks for the drinks and everything, but do you mind not asking those kind of questions?

Businessman 2 Oh. Oh, I’m sorry.

Businessman 1 We didn’t mean to cause offence. Sorry.

Businessman 2 Are you with them too?

Roger ‘Them’? Who the fuck is ‘them’?

Businessman 2 The soldiers.

Roger Yeah. I am.

Businessman 2 So … I mean, sorry, but what’s wrong with you?

Roger I don’t know, I broke my back in two places, had discs at C4 and C5 replaced, I’m addicted to meds and sometimes the pain is so bad I collapse and piss myself in public. What’s wrong with you?

Richard and Frank come over.

Richard All right, Rog, take it easy.

The Businessmen back off.

Businessman 2 Right. OK. Fine.

Roger Prick.

Dancer 2 approaches Charlie. She wears a nurse’s outfit.

Dancer 2 Hello, it’s Charlie, isn’t it?

Charlie Oh God, you know my name. Have I really been here that much?

Dancer 2 Once or twice. Look, would you like a private dance?

Charlie Er, thanks, but I’m fine. Thanks.

Dancer 2 Really? Even if I say please?

Charlie Well, no. Honestly, that’s sweet, but …

Businessman 1 Take the dance. It’s on us. Please.

Ali If you don’t want it, Charlie, I’ll have it!

Dancer 2 Please?

Charlie OK, OK, I’ll have the dance.

The screens are moved to isolate Charlie and Dancer 2.

Look, I’ll be honest, I’m not really in the mood for this.

Dancer 2 It’s all right. I didn’t really want to give you a dance.

Charlie Oh. Then why —?

Dancer 2 Because I wanted to give you something else.

Charlie Oh, right. Well, Jesus. That’s really kind of you. I mean, I know everyone’s getting into this ‘help for heroes’ stuff, but –

Dancer 2 Who’s Lauren?

Beat.

Charlie Sorry?

Dancer 2 Lauren? Who is she?

Charlie How do you know —?

Dancer 2 When you’ve been in before. When you get drunk. You start talking about her. A lot.

Charlie I do? Yeah, I guess that happens.

Dancer 2 And that tat on your arm. I’m guessing it used to say her name?

Charlie Yeah. Yeah, it did. Before the frag and the scars fucked it up. Guess I should have known then, eh?

Dancer 2 Known what?

Charlie She’s my fiancée … She was my fiancée.

Dancer 2 Oh. Bollocks. I’m sorry.

Charlie Not your fault. Not hers either. All mine.

Dancer 2 I guess you might not want this now then.

Charlie Want what?

Dancer 2 This.

She hands him a folded piece of paper.

Charlie What is it?

Dancer 2 Well, I’ve seen you’ve all got tattoos. You all seem to like tats.

Charlie Yeah, everyone likes a bit of ink.

Dancer 2 So I designed a new one for you. I’ve gone back to college. It’s meant to be, well, I thought you might like a new one.

Charlie ‘Lauren’.

Dancer 2 Yeah, but I understand if –

Charlie It’s beautiful.

Dancer 2 You can change the words underneath if you want. And the name now I guess!

Charlie ‘But love survives the venom of the snake.’

Dancer 2 It’s from this poem we’re studying. It’s by a soldier, but, like I said –

Charlie It’s perfect. Thank you.

Beat.

Dancer 2 Is it really over?

Charlie I don’t know.

Dancer 2 Cos the way you talk about her. When –

Charlie I know. I know.

Dancer 2 Look, I’m going to have to go. The manager gets in a right strop if we’re in here too long. But, well, like I said. I wanted to give you something. Sorry if it’s –

Charlie I meant what I said. It’s perfect. Thank you.

She leans in and gives him a peck on the cheek, then exits.

The lights stay up on Charlie.

SCENE EIGHT — LEAVING

Charlie ‘But love survives the venom of the snake.’ When you’re discharged from the services one of the last things you do is hand over your ID. Your identity. It’s a death, of sorts. At least, it certainly feels like a kind of grief, afterwards. A mourning. For the loss of that bond. For the family you’d joined, lived with, fought with, but are now being asked to leave.

It feels sudden. One day you’re in. The next you’re out. But it isn’t. It’s a slow process. A process of departure. And that’s one of the problems. It takes seconds to hand over that ID. But it can take years to remove the uniform.

We do have to take it off though, one day. The stories of our injuries all began with an engagement of some kind. A contact. And they’re only going to be brought to an end with another kind of contact. Another kind of engagement –

He looks at the tattoo design.

— or re-engagement. But you can’t do that if you’re still wearing your uniform.

It’s OK though. Because it isn’t just about leaving, is it? It’s about joining too, right? I mean all of us here, yeah, we’re leaving the services, but we’re also joining the oldest regiment there is. The regiment of the wounded. It’s a regiment with an illustrious history that goes back to the earliest days of mankind. You might not be familiar with all of its victories, but believe me it has thousands to its name. Millions. And it’s winning them every day. In hospitals, on the streets, in bedrooms and living rooms.

He taps his head.

In here.

The rest of the cast enter from upstage and begin walking downstage to join Charlie.

The regimental rank and file are recruited from all over the world. Britain. America. Africa. Iraq. Afghanistan. Men. Women. Children. And it’s growing. Even now, as we speak, it’s growing. And until we stop fighting, it’s going to keep on growing. And it’s deploying too. Every day. Not to a battlefield, or to a base. But to you. To out there. We’ve all been training for that deployment. We’ve been getting ready, and now we are ready. So we hope you are too. Because we don’t live in two worlds, do we? We live in one.

Beat.

And don’t you ever forget it.

Fade to black.

In Hospital: Poona (1)

ALUN LEWIS

Last night I did not fight for sleep

But lay awake from midnight while the world

Turned its slow features to the moving deep

Of darkness, till I knew that you were furled,

Beloved, in the same dark watch as I.

And sixty degrees of longitude beside

Vanished as though a swan in ecstasy

Had spanned the distance from your sleeping side.

And like to swan or moon the whole of Wales

Glided within the parish of my care:

I saw the green tide leap on Cardigan,

Your red yacht riding like a legend there,

And the great mountains Dafydd and Llewelyn,

Plynlimmon, Cader Idris and Eryri

Threshing the darkness back from head and fin,

And also the small nameless mining valley

Whose slopes are scratched with streets and

sprawling graves

Dark in the lap of firwoods and great boulders

Where you lay waiting, listening to the waves

My hot hands touched your white despondent shoulders

— And then ten thousand miles of daylight grew

Between us, and I heard the wild daws crake

In India’s starving throat; whereat I knew

That Time upon the heart can break

But love survives the venom of the snake.

Reprinted by kind permission of the author and publisher from Alun Lewis, Collected Poems (Seren, 1994)

GLOSSARY

AGC Adjutant General’s Corps ANA Afghan National Army BLESMA British Limbless Ex Service Men’s Association bluey airmail letter CamelBak water-bottle CPN Community Psychiatric Nurse ECM Electronic Countermeasure System FOB Forward Operating Base GPMG General Purpose Machine Gun Hesco block fortification device IED Improvised Explosive Device matlow member of the Navy medevac medical evacuation MST Mission Specific Training oppo best friend OPTAG Operational Training and Advisory Group Osprey body armour PB Patrol Base Pinzgauer all-terrain vehicle PRR Personal Role Radio PRU Personnel Recovery Unit 2PWRR Second Battalion, The Princess of Wales’s Royal Regiment QE Nurses Queen Elizabeth Military Hospital Nurses QRF Quick Reaction Force RA Royal Artillery RPG Rocket-Propelled Grenade sangar duty guard duty (from a watch tower) SFSG Special Forces Support Group Snatch Protected Patrol Vehicle terp interpreter TLA Three-Letter Acronym UGL Underslung Grenade Launcher Wimik (WMIK) armoured military vehicle

About the Author

Owen Sheers is the author of two poetry collections, The Blue Book (shortlisted for the Welsh Book of the Year and the Forward Prize Best First Collection) and Skirrid Hill (winner of the Somerset Maugham Award). His debut prose work The Dust Diaries was short-listed for the Royal Society of Literature’s Ondaatje Prize and won the Welsh Book of the Year 2005. In 2004 he was Writer in Residence at The Wordsworth Trust and in 2007 Owen was a Cullman Fellow at the New York Public Library. Owen’s first novel, Resistance won a 2008 Hospital Club Creative Award and was shortlisted for the Writers Guild Best Book Award. Resistance has been translated into ten languages and Owen co-wrote the screenplay for the film adaptation released in 2011. His oratorio with Rachel Portman, The Water Diviner’s Tale, was premiered at the Royal Albert Hall for the BBC Proms 2007. Owen recently wrote the script and novelisation (The Gospel of Us) of The Passion National Theatre of Wales’ 72 hour site specific production in Port Talbot starring and directed by Michael Sheen. Other theatrical work includes: the radio play If I Should Go Away, Unicorns, almost developed by the Old Vic, New Voices project and Pink Mist, a verse drama for BBC Radio 4. Owen is currently writer in residence for the Welsh Rugby Union.

Content

Owen Sheers
The Two Worlds of Charlie F

Characters

THE TWO WORLDS OF CHARLIE F

Act One

Act Two

In Hospital: Poona (1)

GLOSSARY

About the Author