Rex Stout

The Easter Parade Murder

Chapter 1

I swiveled my chair to face Nero Wolfe directly across the expanse of his desk top, and to look him in the eye. Then I made a speech.

“Nothing doing. If you wanted me to hook something really worth while, like a Mogok ruby, I might consider it, but I am not an orchid snatcher. For what you pay me I do your mail, I make myself obnoxious to people, I tail them when necessary, I shoot when I have to and get shot at, I stick around and take every mood you’ve got, I give you and Theodore a hand in the plant rooms when required, I lie to Inspector Cramer and Sergeant Stebbins whether required or not, I even help Fritz in the kitchen in emergencies, I answer the phone. I could go on and on. But I will not grab an orchid from a female bosom in the Easter parade. There is—”

“I haven’t asked you to,” Wolfe snapped. He wiggled a finger at me. “You assumed I was headed for that, but you were wrong. I only said I wanted to hire someone for such an errand — someone adroit, discreet, resolute, and reliable.”

“Me, then,” I insisted.

“Pfui. Granting that you qualify, you are not unique. I would pay him a hundred dollars, another hundred if successful, and all expenses if a predicament results.”

My brows went up. “Wow. Maybe I’m not unique, but the orchid must be.”

“It is.” The seventh of a ton of him came forward in his custom-built chair. “Mr. Millard Bynoe has produced a flamingo-pink Vanda — both petals and sepals true pink, with no tints, spots, or edgings.”

“Hooray!”

“But I don’t believe it. I have it from Mr. Lewis Hewitt, who had it from his gardener, who had it from Mr. Bynoe’s gardener, but I don’t believe it. As you know, I have been hybridizing for a pink Vanda for years, and have come no closer to it than the rose-lilac of peetersiana, or the magenta of sandarae. I don’t believe it, and I have to see it.”

“Then phone Bynoe and arrange it. You won’t leave the house on business, but this isn’t business, it’s an acute attack of incurable envy. I’ll go along to watch your face—”

“I have phoned him. He cordially invited me to visit his collection at my convenience, at his place on Long Island, but he wouldn’t admit that he has a pink Vanda, so I wouldn’t see it. According to Mr. Hewitt, he intends to display it in its full glory at the International Flower Show next year, but that is too long to wait. No one has seen it but Mr. Bynoe himself, his wife, and his gardener. But — also from Mr. Hewitt — his wife has persuaded him to let her wear a spray of it on Easter Day. They will attend Easter service at Saint Thomas’s Church. That will provide an opportunity, if not to inspect the plant, at least to see the bloom.”

“It sure will,” I agreed enthusiastically. “You’ve never been in an Easter parade and it will be a treat for you. Only you ought to have a new suit and hat, and it’s only five days—”

I stopped because he wasn’t reacting properly. Instead of scowling or growling, or both, he was merely nodding thoughtfully, as if the idea of rubbing elbows, not to mention other parts of his anatomy, with his fellow beings in the Fifth Avenue Easter mob wasn’t repellent at all. Envy broadens a man.

“It wouldn’t do,” he declared. “If I could plant myself in front of her for a prolonged scrutiny...” His shoulders went up and down. “No. I must examine them at leisure, at least one of them, and with a glass. I wouldn’t expect you to do it. Nor Saul. Orrie?”

I shook my head. “I doubt it. Not just for the two Cs, but he might as a personal favor for you.”

He made a face. “I won’t solicit a favor.”

“Okay. There isn’t time to put an ad in the paper for an experienced orchid snatcher. Do you want me to scare one up?”

“I do.”

“Then I’ll scout around. I have a prospect in mind — in fact, two. But forget about the predicament expenses. The predicament, if any, will be up to him. A C for the try, and another C if he gets the spray or a usable part of it. Right?”

“Yes.” Wolfe was frowning. But if he fails—” He aimed the frown at me. “You have a color camera.”

“You have,” I corrected him. “You paid for it. I use it on occasion.”

“I suggest that you may regard this as an occasion. Your Sundays are your own when we are not engaged on an important case, but you may take some other day instead. Aren’t there dozens of people with cameras up and down Fifth Avenue in that pandemonium?”

“Not dozens. Thousands.”

He turned a hand over. “Well?”

“Uh-huh.” I considered it. “I admit he might flub it, and I admit I could get a picture, though I can’t say how true the color would be. Pinks are tricky. But I guess it’s no go, because as you say, my Sundays are mine, and I would do it only as a personal favor for you, and you won’t solicit a favor. Too bad.”

“I should have qualified that. There are only four people of whom I would ask a favor, and Orrie is not one of them. You are.”

“Then go ahead and ask. Call me Mr. Goodwin.”

His lips tightened. “Mr. Goodwin,” he said coldly, “I solicit a favor.”

It’s amazing what lengths a man will go to for envy.

Chapter 2

Easter Sunday the weather wasn’t perfect, but I had seen much worse. As, shortly before noon, I left the old brownstone, the sun was slanting down into West Thirty-fifth Street, and I crossed over to have it on me. The breeze from the river wasn’t as chilly as I had expected, and I unbuttoned my topcoat. I was not arrayed, merely had my clothes on, with the Centrex, loaded and ready, dangling from a strap over my shoulder.

Crosstown to Fifth Avenue, and uptown for five blocks, it was just a pleasant walk with plenty of room, but in front of the library some early birds were already around, moving or standing in the sunshine, and I had to start dodging. From there on it got thicker all the way, and it was a good thing I had allowed extra time, since I had told Tabby I would be in front of Saint Thomas’s at twelve-thirty.

Tabby will do for him, though I know his name and address. Tabby will do. It had been a mistake to bait him with two Cs, one down and one if and when, since a pair of twenties would have been more his speed, and it might make him nervous, but I had followed orders. I had briefed him thoroughly, shown him pictures of Millard Bynoe and his wife, and even introduced Vanda to him by giving him a spray, though not flamingo-pink, from one of Wolfe’s plants. There would be a lot of bosoms sporting orchids in that stampede, from Cattleyas to Calanthes. Also, to cinch it, I was going to give him a sign.

By the time I reached Saint Patrick’s at Fiftieth Street, with three blocks to go, the street was no better than the sidewalks — absolutely solid with dressed-up bipeds, some of them looking pleased and even happy. The display of lipstick colors and patterns, goofy hats, and flossy neckties deserved more appreciation than I had time for as I wormed my way north, rubbing not only elbows but shoulders and hips. As I pushed through to the curb in front of Saint Thomas’s, I was thinking it might be worth while to come back next year on my own time for a thorough survey of the panorama, provided I could rent a suit of armor at a bargain. At Fifty-second Street a six-foot amazon in a purple ensemble had got me in the ribs.

I stretched my own six feet by rising on my toes and spotted Tabby, anchored out of the current in a niche flanking the church entrance. He was a little squirt, several inches under six feet, but I got enough of him to see that the C I had given him had gone down the drain for a new topcoat, a gray plaid, and a new hat, a classy gray snap-brim. The true Easter-parade spirit, I thought, and grinned at him when I caught his eye. It wasn’t necessary to shove through to him, since he had been well briefed.

I needed a vantage point for aiming as they came out of the church, and there it was beside me — a wooden box there on the sidewalk at the edge of the curb, some sixteen inches high, just the elevation I needed. But it was occupied. Standing on it was a young woman in a tan woolen belted coat, with a camera in her hand held at breast level as she faced downtown, scanning the rabble as it shuffled along. I touched her elbow and she looked down at me. I gave her my best smile, which was no strain after one glimpse of her face.

“Have you ever,” I asked her, “stood on a box with a peer of the realm?”

“Certainly,” she declared. “Don’t bother me, I’m busy.” She went back to scanning.

I directed my voice up to her ear. “But you have never stood on a box with a prince of the blood, and this is your chance. My grandmother, the queen dowager, is coming out of that church and I want to get a shot of her. I’ll stand on the edge and I won’t jostle.”

She was facing down again. “I hate to refuse, Your Highness, but it’s not my box. It was lent me by a grandee, and he would—”

“Hey, Archie Goodwin!”

The voice came from behind, and I turned. There was another box at the curb, two paces along, and beyond it still another. On them were men with cameras, and straddling the gap, with his left foot on one box and his right on the other, was a third man with a camera, grinning at me.

He spoke. “You don’t remember me.”

“Sure I do. The Gazette. Joe. Joe Merrick — no, wait a minute — Herrick. Joe Herrick. Did you lend this lady the box she’s on?”

“Yeah, who wouldn’t? Look at her!”

“I have. Any objection if she shares it with me?”

“That’s up to her. I’d rather she shared it with me, but you had the idea first. What are you after? Where’s the corpse?”

“No corpse. I’m just practicing.” I turned to tell her I had cleared it with the grandee, but at that moment all four of them brought their cameras up to their chins, facing the church entrance. The exodus had started. I planted my left foot on the edge of her box, heaved myself up, and caught the edge of the next-door box with my right foot with a fancy spread-eagle. It was too near a split to be comfortable, but at least I was up high enough to focus over the heads of the crowd. A glance showed me that Tabby had left his niche and edged through to the line of exit.

Out they came, all flavors. The men ran from cutaways to sacks and from toppers to floppies, not more than half of them with topcoats, and the women displayed an assortment of furs, coats, jackets, stoles, suits, and hats for the birds. I shot a couple to warm up the camera, and once I thought I spotted my target, but the man with her was not Milliard Bynoe, and as she approached I saw that her orchid spray wasn’t Vanda, but Phalaenopsis. Then suddenly there she was, headed straight toward me, with a man on either side of her, and the one on her right was Bynoe. Her fur jacket, sable or long-haired hamster or something, was open, and drooping below her left shoulder was a ten-inch spray of glowing pink. She was one of the most attractive objects I had seen that day, and as she got closer and I aimed the camera for another shot the back of my mind was reflecting that you couldn’t find a better argument to persuade a man to marry a woman twenty years his junior, which was what Millard Bynoe had done.

Having given Tabby a sign, I had the camera to my eye again, so I didn’t actually see all of what happened in the next two seconds, but I can show one instant of it, the instant I pressed the button, with four pictures I took of her. I had warned Tabby not to try for the spray while cameras were on her, as I knew they would be as she left the church, and of course her having an escort at each elbow made it impossible to sneak up from the side, but evidently the vision of another C was too much for him, and he had worked his way around to get at her from the front. Seeing his head and arm in the finder, and the arm and hand of the man on Mrs. Bynoe’s left warding him off, I lowered the camera, slid off the boxes, and started forward with the notion of grabbing his coattail and jerking him away, but he had wriggled off before I got there. Mrs. Bynoe was looking upset, with her teeth clamped on her lip, and her escorts were asking her questions, but she shook her head, said something to her husband, and turned uptown, the men close beside her. The pink spray was intact.

I looked around, over shoulders and between hats, saw Tabby making himself small against the railing, and saw him move, uptown. The nervy little cuss was stalking his prey. It wouldn’t have been discreet to chat with him there in the public eye, even if I had anything helpful to say, and anyway it was understood that he was strictly on his own, but there was nothing against my being an impartial observer. So I tagged along, some eight rows of hats behind Tabby and fifteen or so behind the trio.

They took their time. Of course Fifth Avenue was closed to traffic, but one of the Bynoe limousines was probably parked nearby on Madison, so Tabby didn’t have all day. At Fifty-fourth Street they headed across the avenue, and that was slow going since they kept three abreast. By the time they reached the other curb Tabby had closed in to eight or ten feet, and I was keeping my distance from Tabby.

It happened when they had gone some fifty yards along Fifty-fourth Street, about halfway to Madison. The throng wasn’t as thick there as on the avenue, but it was still a throng. Tabby was almost directly behind them, and I wasn’t far off, when suddenly Mrs. Bynoe stopped short, grabbed her husband’s arms, and said to him in a sort of half-strangled scream, “I can’t stand it! I didn’t want to — here on the street — I can’t breathe! Mil, you—” She let go of his arms, straightened up, rigid, shuddered all over, and toppled. The two men had her before she went down, but then she went into convulsion, her neck and spine arching backward and she got away from them and was on the sidewalk.

Tabby darted in from the circle of bystanders, snatched the pink spray from her shoulder, darted out again, through the circle, and sprinted for Madison Avenue.

There was only one thing for me to do, and I did it. I went after him. For one thing, if anyone else felt like chasing him, my being ahead would show him he wasn’t needed. For another, I couldn’t have asked for a better excuse to make myself scarce. So I stretched my legs, and while I can no longer do the hundred in 10:7, I can move. So could Tabby. When he got to Madison I was still ten steps behind. He took the corner, turning downtown, without slackening, and ran into luck. Twenty yards down a taxi was discharging a couple of passengers. Tabby was there before they shut the door, and I was too. He tumbled in, and while I didn’t tumble, I didn’t dawdle. The hackie, swiveling his neck for a look, inquired mildly, “Ghosts?”

I controlled my panting enough to speak. “Right. My friend here had never been in a church before, and the choir’s costumes got him. Nine-eighteen West Thirty-fifth Street.”

He surveyed the street to the rear, saw no cop or other pursuer coming for fugitives, turned and pulled the gear lever, and we rolled. When we had gone a block Tabby opened his mouth to speak, but I glared at him and he shut it again. Hackies usually have good ears, sometimes too good, and it wouldn’t help to give that one any items to remember us by. It was already bad enough. So he had heard nothing, because there was nothing for him to hear, when he deposited us at the curb in front of the old brownstone. I led the way up the seven steps of the stoop, let us in with my key, got my hat and coat on the hall rack and shelf, and was going to do likewise with Tabby’s, but he hung on to his coat, carefully inserted his hand in the left side pocket, and carefully withdrew it with thumb and forefinger closed on the stem of the spray.

“Here it is,” he said. “Come across. I’m on my way.”

“Hold your horses. I have to tap the till.” I put his coat on a hanger and his hat on the shelf, steered him across the hall and into the front room, told him to wait, opened the soundproofed door to the office, passed through, and shut it behind me.

Wolfe, at his desk with sections of the Sunday paper scattered around, looked up, saw I was empty-handed except for the camera, and demanded, “Well?”

I crossed to my desk and put the camera down, and stood. “Yes, sir. I got pictures, and he got the spray. But first I want—”

“Where is it?”

“Just a minute. He’s in the front room with it, hanging on to it until he sees his money, and as soon as I pay him he’ll want to skip, and there’s a complication. Mrs. Bynoe collapsed on the sidewalk, in convulsion, and while she was lying there with her head curved back nearly to her heels he dashed in and grabbed the spray and ran. It wasn’t a pretty performance and I would have liked to collar him and call a cop, but that wouldn’t have helped her any, and also there was you to consider, sitting here with your mouth watering. So I ran after him. If I had caught him in time I would have walked him here, but before I reached him he had hopped a taxi. There was no use—”

“I want to see the spray.”

“Just a minute. We may—”

“There will be many minutes. Get him in here.”

I let him have his way because he wasn’t listening anyhow. I went to the front room and brought Tabby. When he got to Wolfe’s desk and Wolfe extended a hand, I thought Tabby was going to refuse to part with it until he touched the money, and so did he, but Wolfe growled like a lion at sight of a hunk of juicy meat, and Tabby handed him the spray, which had been crushed some, but not badly. Half of the dozen or so blossoms were intact. Wolfe looked them over, one by one, and then got a magnifying glass from a drawer and went over them again, with his lips closed so tight he didn’t have any. Finally he pushed his chair back, arose, and, holding the spray by the butt of the stem, made for the hall and the kitchen, where there were two refrigerators, one cool and one cold. Soon he returned, without the spray, crossed to his desk and sat, and announced, “I would give three thousand dollars for that plant.”

I shook my head. “Don’t look at me. No, thanks. And if you want to deal with Tabby, deal direct. Before I pay him I would like to report in detail, if and when you’ve got yourself enough under control to listen.”

“Pfui. Have you ever seen me out of control?”

“We can save that. Remind me some time. Sit down, Tabby.” I took the chair at my desk and proceeded to report, covering everything, which didn’t take long since no long conversations were involved. Apparently Wolfe was taking it in.

I ended up, “It depends on Mrs. Bynoe. As far as I know it could have been epilepsy. But if it was something else, something that gets the cops on it and makes them work, they’ll learn that the guy who tried to get at her in front of the church was the one who grabbed the orchids later, and they’ll probably find him. When they do, will he talk? Yes. Sooner or later, and I suspect sooner. So I think we might invite Tabby to stick around until we know the score.” I looked at my wristwatch. “It’s been over an hour. I can try Lon Cohen at the Gazette.”

Wolfe was frowning at me. “Do so.”

I swiveled and dialed. Usually I can get right through to Lon, but that time it took five minutes. When I finally got him he said he was in a boil and I made it snappy.

“A question, maybe two. Have you anything in about Mrs. Millard Bynoe?”

“Yes. She’s dead. That’s the boil. And last Wednesday you were here collecting pictures of her and her husband. I was just going to ring you. Where do you come in? And Nero Wolfe? Speak.”

“At present I’m just curious, and this call is absolutely off the record. If and when we do come in I’ll think of you. Where and when did she die, and what killed her?”

“On the sidewalk on Fifty-fourth Street between Madison and Fifth, about an hour ago. What, I don’t know, but they have taken the body to the morgue and the Commissioner is standing by, not to mention others. Are you going to open up or not?”

“I’m just curious. It itches. You might ring me every hour on the hour.”

He said sure, he had nothing else to do, and hung up. I turned and relayed it to Wolfe, and as I finished Tabby was out of his chair, his sharp little eyes darting from Wolfe to me and back again.

“I want my money,” he said, tending to squeak. “That’s what I want, see?” He started to tremble. “What the hell!”

I went and put a hand on his shoulder, friendly. “Take it easy, Tabby,” I told him. I turned to Wolfe. “I met this gentleman a couple of years ago in connection with one of our cases, and did him a little favor, but he doesn’t know my true character, or yours either. He suspects we may be tying a can on him, and he’s scared stiff, and you can’t blame him. Maybe he scares easy, but he has been around, and he knows they wouldn’t call the Commissioner in on Easter Sunday unless they had something, even for Mrs. Millard Bynoe, and I know it too. Ten to one it’s murder, and if so they’ll find Tabby, and if they find him they’ll find me, and if they find me they’ll find you.”

Wolfe was glaring at us. “Confound it,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “So you and Tabby have problems, not to mention me. You hired him, through me, to commit petty larceny, and that will make fine reading. He committed the larceny, but what’s worse, he has now got it in his head that we have framed him for something in a murder, and try to get it out. He’s too scared to listen to reason. You may think of something besides reason for him to listen to.”

“Is there any chance that he seized an opportunity? When he got in front of her as she crossed the sidewalk?”

“No. Cross it off. I saw it. And why? Skip it. Also, I know him and that’s not in him.”

“Who is he? What’s his name?”

“Just call him Tabby. He prefers it.”

“I want my money,” Tabby squeaked. “That’s all I want.”

Wolfe, eying him, took in air, clear down, and let it out again. “You understand, sir,” he said, “that this may be only a bugaboo. Mrs. Bynoe may have died of natural causes.”

“I want my money,” Tabby squeaked.

“No doubt. But she may not, and in that case the investigation will be thorough. We’ll soon know, and if it was murder I’m in a pickle. Putting it at a minimum, I would prefer not to have it published that I hired a man to steal a flower, especially if he tore it from her breast as she lay dying. You want your money. If I give it to you, and you leave, what will happen? Either you will spend it in an effort to keep yourself out of the hands of the police, not an attractive prospect for you; or you will go to the police at once and unburden yourself, not an attractive prospect for me.”

Wolfe sighed again. “So I’m not going to pay you, not — Let me finish, please. I shall not pay you now. There is a comfortable room on the third floor of this house, and my cook is unsurpassed if not unequaled. If you will occupy that room, communicate with no one, and not leave the house until I give the word, I will then pay you the hundred dollars and also ten dollars for each day you have been here.”

During the next minute Tabby opened his mouth three times to speak and each time closed it again. It was a hard chew for him, and when he finally got to the point of words they were not for Wolfe. He turned to me and demanded, “What about this guy?”

I grinned at him. “He could lie rings around you, Tabby. But he’s too damn conceited to double-cross a man, let alone a peanut. Also, if I count, I’ll sign it.”

He left me to squint at Wolfe, and after another chew he nodded. “Okay, but no lousy ten bucks a day. Twenty.”

As I mentioned, the offer of two Cs had been a mistake. Delusions of grandeur. Wolfe, being in a pickle, would probably have stood for it, but I put in. “Nothing doing,” I said firmly. “Ten a day and found, and wait till you taste the found.” I touched his elbow. “Come on and I’ll show you your room.”

Chapter 3

Five hours later, at seven-eighteen that evening, I went to answer the doorbell and found Inspector Cramer on the stoop. Since Lon Cohen had phoned around four o’clock to say that Mrs. Bynoe had been murdered, and to ask for copy, which he didn’t get, I had expected company sooner, but of course it had taken a little time for them to get a line on the photographers who had had box seats, or stands, in front of the church.

Tabby had chosen to lunch in his room from a tray instead of joining us in the dining room, but afterward he had relaxed enough to go with me to the basement to shoot some pool, and I spent the rest of the afternoon there with him, with time out for answering three phone calls and for performing a chore I thought advisable, namely, taking the roll of film from the Centrex and locking it in a desk drawer. We were in the basement when the doorbell rang, and I took Tabby up with me and sent him on upstairs before I opened up. Also, seeing Inspector Cramer through the one-way glass panel, I stepped into the office to see that the spray of Vanda wasn’t on view and to tell Wolfe who the caller was. He put down the book he was reading and growled.

After letting me take his hat and coat in the hall, which showed that he didn’t intend merely to fire a couple of shots and go, Cramer tramped ahead into the office, and when I entered he was seated in the red leather chair near the end of Wolfe’s desk and was declining an invitation to have some beer; and as I crossed to my desk he spoke to my back.

“You, Goodwin. I want information, and I want it straight and fast. What were you doing in front of Saint Thomas’s today?”

I sat and raised my brows. “Why start there? Take the whole day. I woke up at eight o’clock, realized it was not only Sunday but also Easter Sunday, and decided to enjoy—”

“Stop clowning and answer my question!”

“Pfui,” Wolfe muttered.

I shook my head at Cramer. “You know better than that. Even when you’re worked up, as I can see you are, you still know better. What’s the ground?”

His keen blue-gray eyes, looking smaller than they were on account of his big round face, were hard at me. “Damn you,” he said, “I’m in a hurry, but I ought to know you by this time. A woman named Mrs. Millard Bynoe left that church today while you were there at the curb taking pictures. Her husband and a man named Frimm were with her. They crossed the avenue and walked east on Fifty-fourth Street, and in the middle of the block she suddenly collapsed and had convulsions, and she died there on the sidewalk. The body was taken to the morgue, and the preliminary report says there are signs of strychnine, and a needle was found in her abdomen. Details of the needle are being withheld, except that it is hollow and it had contained strychnine, and from its size and shape it could have been shot at her by a spring mechanism from a range up to twenty feet, maybe more, depending on the mechanism.”

Cramer’s eyes darted to Wolfe and back to me. “You want ground. It was approximately twelve minutes — say ten to fifteen — after she left the church that she collapsed on the sidewalk. As she was leaving the church there were at least five cameras aimed at her, five that I know about, and you were aiming one of them. What for?”

I was meeting his eyes. “You’ve got ground, all right,” I conceded. “You asked what I was doing in front of Saint Thomas’s today, and you sure have a right to know, so I’ll tell you.”

I did so, with all details of my words and actions, except that I didn’t mention Tabby or Mrs. Bynoe or orchids, and I didn’t include the fact that I had been present when Mrs. Bynoe collapsed. My finale was merely that I had strolled away from the church, to Madison Avenue, and taken a taxi home.

I leaned back. “That’s it,” I said. “I understand now why you came instead of inviting me down. Naturally you want the camera, and under the circumstances I don’t blame you.” I swiveled and got the Centrex, in its leather case with the strap, from the desk, and swiveled back. “Here it is. If you want to take it along I’d like a receipt.”

He said he certainly wanted to take it along, and I got at the typewriter and wrote a receipt, and he signed it. As I dropped it in a drawer he said that my signed statement should include a declaration that the camera I had given him was the one I had used in front of the church, and I said it would. When I turned back his eyes were leveled at me again.

“How well do you know Joseph Herrick?” he demanded.

“Not very well. I know he’s been a Gazette photographer for several years. I’ve met him around a few times, that’s all.”

“Do you know the other two men there with cameras? Or the girl?”

“No. Never saw any of them before. I don’t know their names.”

“Did you know Mrs. Bynoe?”

“No. Never saw her either.”

“You weren’t there for the purpose of aiming a camera at her?”

“At her? No.”

“What were you there for?”

I waved a hand. “To take pictures. Like ten thousand of my fellow citizens.”

“They weren’t all there in front of that church. You understand, Goodwin, the way it looks now, that needle was fired with some kind of a mechanism in one of those cameras that were focused on Mrs. Bynoe. You see things. Did you see anything peculiar about one of those cameras?”

“No. I’ll give it a thought, but I’m sure I didn’t.”

“Or anything peculiar about the manner or actions of any of those four people with cameras?”

“No. Again I’ll give it a thought, but no. Of course I was taking pictures myself and I wasn’t interested in them or their cameras.”

Cramer grunted. He regarded me for a long moment and then transferred to Wolfe. “I’ll tell you,” he said. “I’ll just tell you why I came here instead of sending for Goodwin and the camera. Mrs. Bynoe was wearing a bunch of orchids, and her husband says they were very special orchids. There is only one plant in the world, and he has it. While she was lying on the sidewalk, in convulsion, a man darted in from the crowd and snatched the orchids off her and ran. Frimm grabbed his arm but he jerked away. Of course he didn’t stick the needle in her then, she was already dying, but that’s not the point. The point is that I know how you are on orchids, and that Goodwin was around. The orchids alone, or Goodwin alone, I might pass, but the two together — that’s why I’m here. I want to know if you have anything to say, and if so what, and I want to ask some questions.”

Wolfe’s lips had tightened. “Is it possible,” he inquired, “that you are intimating that it was Mr. Goodwin who took the orchids?”

“No. I know he didn’t. I have a description of the man who did. But you know damn well how it is when there’s a smell of either you or Goodwin within a mile of a murder, and here is Goodwin and orchids. Have you anything to say?”

“Yes. I request you to leave my house.”

“After you answer some questions.” Cramer leaned forward. “Have you any knowledge of the man who took the orchids from Mrs. Bynoe?”

Wolfe put his hands on the edge of his desk, pushed his chair back, and got his bulk upright, on his feet. “Mr. Cramer,” he said coldly, “your talent for making yourself offensive is extraordinary. Presumably investigating a murder, you invade my privacy in my home with the preposterous intent of involving me in the theft of a bunch of flowers.” He moved, walked halfway to the door, stopped, and turned. “If you wished to question me about your murder I would listen, and would even answer. I know nothing whatever about it. I know nothing about Mrs. Bynoe and I know no one who does, and I have no inkling of any information that could possibly be relevant to her murder. Since you assume that the needle was propelled by a mechanism concealed in one of the cameras, I will add that I also know nothing of any of the persons who were there with cameras, except Mr. Goodwin, and he has told you what he saw and did. If you want to nag him about it, and he cares to submit, there he is.”

He walked out. Cramer twisted his neck to watch him go, then twisted it back to give me a look.

“Nag hell,” he rasped. “Just a big gob of egomania, and you’re not much better. Okay, I’ll ask you, have you any knowledge of the man who took the orchids from Mrs. Bynoe?”

I looked apologetic. “I’m sorry, Inspector, but I work for him and—”

“Answer the question!”

“And you know how that is. It’s a strain, working for an egomaniac, but it’s good pay, and I simply can’t risk answering questions he wouldn’t answer. What he said about the murder goes for me too, I know absolutely nothing. On other matters, such as my acquaintance with posy snatchers, I have to pass. Look how you offended him.”

His eyes were going right through me. “You refuse to answer.”

“Certainly. I would also refuse to answer if you asked me if I stole this necktie. That would offend Mr. Wolfe. But if—”

“How would you like to come downtown for a session with Lieutenant Rowcliff?”

“I’d love it. I once got him stuttering in eight minutes, the best I ever did, and I’d like—”

I stopped because he was being rude. He arose and, with the camera in his hand and the strap dangling, headed for the door. Thinking he might have an idea of looking for Wolfe, I got up and followed, but in the hall he turned to the front, and, doubting if he would appreciate help with his coat, I merely stood and watched until he had let himself out and banged the door shut. Then I about-faced and went and pushed the swinging door to the kitchen.

It was a pleasant scene, the egomaniac having, as usual, his Sunday-evening snack with the cook. Fritz was on a stool at the long table in the center, steering a dripping endive core to his open mouth. Wolfe, seated at my breakfast table against the wall, was pouring honey on steaming halves of buttermilk biscuits. A glass and a bottle of milk were there, and I went and poured.

I asked where Tabby was and was told that a tray had been taken to his room. Fritz told me there were plenty of biscuits in the warmer, and I thanked him and got a couple.

“You know,” I said offhand as I picked up the jar of molasses, “this is a very interesting situation.” I poured molasses. “So many things could happen. For instance, Lon Cohen isn’t the only one at the Gazette who knows I was after pictures of Mr. and Mrs. Bynoe on Wednesday. For instance, when Cramer learns that the film has been removed from my camera — your camera — he’ll probably send a squad with a search warrant. For in—”

“I’m eating,” Wolfe muttered peevishly.

“But I’m not discussing business. This isn’t business, this is just a cliff you tumbled over while in pursuit of pleasure, and you’re hanging by your fingernails. So am I. For instance, if they find the driver of the taxi, and they will if they decide to, they’ll learn that Tabby had company and that we came here. If I had known then that there had been a murder he wouldn’t have brought us here, but I didn’t. For in—”

“Get rid of the film,” Wolfe ordered.

“Right. First thing in the morning. But that’s a good camera, and if the needle was shot at her the way Cramer thinks it was, and if I happened to press the button while the needle was going by, it might show. I know a place that will develop that kind of film in short order for a price. How about it?”

Wolfe said yes.

“Okay. Again for instance, if Cramer does send a squad with a warrant when he finds the camera empty, and he might, what about the orchids? If you can’t bear to ditch them, I suggest hiding them in the plant rooms among a lot of foliage. Of course that wouldn’t work if Bynoe was along, but that’s not very—”

The phone rang. I got up and went to the kitchen extension on a shelf, and got it.

“Nero Wolfe’s residence, Archie Goodwin speaking.”

An educated male voice, low and even, said that it wished to speak with Mr. Wolfe, please, and I asked for its name, please, and it said it preferred not to give its name on the phone, and that made it a problem. But after I had explained that Mr. Wolfe was at the dinner table and not to be disturbed, and I was his confidential assistant, and I wasn’t permitted to make an appointment without a name, he decided to come clean.

The rest was easy. I hung up and returned to my biscuits and molasses, and told Wolfe, “That makes it even more interesting. Excuse me for not checking with you, but I was sure you would want to see him. Mr. Millard Bynoe will be here in half an hour.”

Chapter 4

Millard Bynoe sat on the red leather chair, but not in it. He had probably never lolled once in all his fifty-five years; and now he sat straight with his fanny only halfway back on the seat, his feet neatly together, and his fists resting on his thighs. “Fists” may give a wrong impression. For a man who has spent his whole life giving away an inherited pile in big chunks, it’s only natural to keep his fingers curled tight.

Like everybody else, I was of course familiar with the wide mouth and big ears of Millard Bynoe, but the man he had brought with him, whom he had introduced as Mr. Henry Frimm, was a comparative stranger. I had seen him once before as he had left the church beside Mrs. Bynoe. He was a lot younger than Bynoe and a lot better looking, and he wasn’t afraid to unbend. On the yellow chair I had placed for him near the corner of Wolfe’s desk, he leaned back and even crossed his legs.

Bynoe had trouble getting started. He told Wolfe twice that he had come to consult him on a delicate matter, and apparently the idea of such a thing was too much for him. He sat through a long moment and then tried again.

“I should explain, Mr. Wolfe, that I have come to you in this emergency because I have full confidence in your ability, your discretion, and your integrity. My friend Lewis Hewitt has often spoken to me of a service you performed for him some years ago, and of your talents and character, and he is a good judge of men. He has also spoken of Mr. Goodwin. So when I learned from the police that Mr. Goodwin was there today, in front of the church, and when I found myself confronted by a delicate problem, I decided to bring it to you.”

He stopped. Delicate again. Wolfe prompted him. “And the problem?”

“It is highly confidential. I must rely on your discretion.”

“Short of complicity in crime, you may.” Wolfe’s eyes, steady at him, were half closed. “And if the problem is connected with the death of your wife, I may save time by saying that I am fairly well informed. I know how she was killed. Inspector Cramer has been here to question Mr. Goodwin, and Mr. Goodwin has told me what happened in front of the church. Accept my condolence.”

“Thank you.” Bynoe tilted his head and straightened it again. “You will understand that I am controlling myself with some difficulty. Then you know about the needle?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know that the police assume that it was shot at her from a camera?”

“Yes. Do you challenge that?”

“By no means. I suggested that idea to the police, and found that they were already considering it. I see no other possible explanation. I was beside her in the church, and as we left the church, and every moment until she—” He stopped and his jaw stiffened. After a little it came loose and he went on, “You will excuse me. Until she was overcome. So was Mr. Frimm, and we are positive that no one touched her. In front of the church a man was apparently trying to, but he didn’t succeed. Mr. Frimm warded him off. Immediately after that she made a sudden movement and caught her lip with her teeth, and we asked her if something had happened, but she shook her head.” His jaw worked. “My wife would not want to make a scene in public. I fully accept the police theory, though my problem arises from it.” His head turned. “Henry, I prefer that you explain it. If you will?”

“Of course, Mr. Bynoe, if you wish.” Frimm was not enthusiastic. Looking at Wolfe, he cleared his throat. “You probably don’t know who I am, or what I am. I am the executive secretary of the Bynoe Rehabilitation Fund, one of Mr. Bynoe’s major interests. It was also one of Mrs. Bynoe’s major interests; she was quite active in the Fund’s work. But that is only to tell you who I am; what Mr. Bynoe wants me to explain is the unfortunate circumstance that I am acquainted with one of the persons with a camera in front of the church. A young woman named Iris Innes.”

His eyes went to Bynoe, but Bynoe merely said, “Go ahead, Henry,” and Frimm returned to Wolfe.

“In fact, Miss Innes and I were engaged to be married, and it was broken off only a month ago. The police have learned that fact and have questioned me about it. They have also questioned me about my relations with Mrs. Bynoe, and some of their questions indicate a suspicion that my engagement with Miss Innes was broken off on account of my feelings about Mrs. Bynoe — a suspicion that is utterly without foundation. But from their questions it appeared that they were actually considering the possibility that Miss Innes had sufficient reason to want to — uh — to harm Mrs. Bynoe. It was absolutely ridiculous, but I felt it was necessary — more than that, it was my duty — to tell Mr. Bynoe about it.”

He looked at Bynoe again, but the philanthropist had his eyes on Wolfe. Frimm asked, “Will that do, Mr. Bynoe?”

Bynoe, not answering, said to Wolfe, “You can see why I said it is a delicate problem. I have spoken with the Police Commissioner, and he was most considerate, but newspaper reporters have already tried to question Frimm about it and the danger is very great. If my wife was murdered it is of course impossible to prevent publicity about a murder, but I will not have her memory defiled by a slur on her personal character — her — her purity. I have also consulted my lawyer, and he has spoken with the District Attorney, but beyond that he seems to think that nothing can be done. So I decided to come to you. If you are as efficient and resourceful as my friend Lewis Hewitt thinks you are, you will know what to do.”

Wolfe was frowning at him. “If you hope, Mr. Bynoe, to keep innuendoes out of the newspapers, abandon the idea. Short of that, what do you want?”

“I want my wife’s memory kept clear of any taint. I want the police to understand that their suspicion of Miss Innes, of her having a motive to harm my wife, is baseless and unwarranted. If my wife was killed by a poisoned needle shot by one of those people with a camera, and I accept that theory because I don’t see how else it could have happened, it must have been one of the three men, and I want him found and punished. Another reason why I came to you is that Mr. Goodwin was there. I understand that he was right next to Miss Innes, between her and one of the men, and surely he can say that her camera was merely an ordinary camera. I want you to stop these absurd and vicious speculations.” He uncurled his fists to intertwine his fingers. “My wife was a pure and fine woman, and this cannot be tolerated.”

Wolfe nodded. “That’s a natural attitude for a man in your position. You have had very little to tolerate. But speculations about a murder can be stopped only one way: expose the culprit.” His head turned. “Mr. Frimm. The most obvious question: has Miss Innes a plausible excuse for being there with a camera?”

Frimm nodded. “Oh, yes. More than plausible. She is a professional photographer, on the staff of Señorita, the magazine. I haven’t spoken with her since — I haven’t seen her, but I presume she was on assignment.”

“When did you see her last?”

“A month ago. When our engagement was broken off.”

“Who and what broke it off?”

“We did. By mutual consent. We agreed that we were not suited for each other.” Frimm’s lips tightened. “As I told you, Mr. Wolfe, this suspicion of the police is completely ridiculous.”

“No doubt.” Wolfe went to Bynoe. “You understand, sir, that I cannot undertake to establish negatives. I cannot end the speculations and innuendoes by proving that Mr. Frimm did not discard Miss Innes because Mrs. Bynoe had supplanted her in his desires, and that Miss Innes was not moved to avenge her smart. These facts can be established only by eliminating them; they can be eliminated only by providing a substitute; and the only acceptable substitute is one of the three men who were there with cameras. Do you know anything about them?”

“No. I have been told their names, but I don’t remember them. My mind is not working. Henry?”

“Yes, Mr. Bynoe. Joseph Herrick, a newspaper photographer, on the Gazette. Augustus Pizzi, with a firm of commercial photographers — just a moment—” Frimm closed his eyes. He opened them. “Yes. All-over Pictures, Incorporated. And Alan Geiss, a free-lance photographer.” He saw I was writing in my notebook, and asked if I had them, and I told him yes. He returned to Wolfe. “I had never heard of any of them, and neither had Mr. Bynoe. So far as we know, none of them ever had anything to do with Mrs. Bynoe or with anything she was connected with.”

Wolfe grunted. “He wouldn’t have, since that would point him. More likely, he was paid to do it; and if he won’t talk, as he surely won’t, where do we look for the man or woman who paid him? Have you any idea, Mr. Frimm?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“No faintest notion?”

“No. I don’t know of anyone who even disliked Mrs. Bynoe, let alone anyone who might want — who might want her to die.”

“Have you, Mr. Bynoe?”

“No. Naturally the police wanted to know that, and I have thought about it. In fact, they insisted, but I could give them no names.”

“Then it’s no wonder they find Miss Innes attractive.” Wolfe lifted his chin. “Let us avoid misunderstanding, sir. If you hire me to end speculations about your wife I will undertake it conditionally, the condition being that I find no reason to doubt your statement that they are without foundation. Should I find such a reason, I withdraw and bill you for my fee, and if I have acquired evidence of a crime I inform the police.”

“You will find no such reason,” Bynoe said stiffly. “And I assure you I would not expect you to suppress evidence of a crime. Your intimation that I might is offensive.” He swallowed. “Mr. Hewitt told me that you would be offensive, and I suppose I must tolerate it — either that or just... go home and sit and wait and do nothing.” His jaw worked. “I accept your condition. My only alternative — No. I accept it. Do you wish a check for a retainer?”

Wolfe said that wasn’t necessary and started asking questions. I had my notebook open, but after half an hour there wasn’t much in it but an assortment of negatives. They knew nothing at all about Herrick or Pizzi or Geiss; they could name no one who might have had a motive; Mrs. Bynoe had come from an old and respected family, the daughter of an Episcopalian bishop, and to their knowledge there was no scar on her past; and so on down the line. The only faint glimmer was contributed by Bynoe: that on Friday evening he had thought something was troubling her and had asked her what it was, and she had said that Good Friday was no day to speak of human failings and she wouldn’t bother him with it until after Easter. That wasn’t much help, since he couldn’t furnish a guess on what it had been.

When I went to let them out I stood on the sill long enough to see that the limousine waiting for them at the curb was a Rolls-Royce, and then returned to the office. Wolfe was hunched forward in his chair with his eyes closed and his lips screwed up.

“Does it hurt?” I asked cheerfully.

He grunted.

I stood and looked down at him. “A very fine client,” I declared. “He probably has a couple of hundred million left and that pink Vanda plant. It’s too bad you can’t fill his order. The way it stacks up, your best move is to hide the orchids. If only we could figure a way to frame Tabby—”

“Shut up,” he growled. His eyes opened. “That woman. I’ll have to see her.” He glanced up at the wall clock. “Tonight if possible. Get her here.”

“Sure. In a box. She’s probably downtown with the DA, if they like her as much as Frimm thinks they do, but you need her worse than they do. I’ll whistle her out. First I’ll see if she’s listed.” I went to my desk for the Manhattan phone book, turned to the I’s and found an entry: “Innes Iris 116 Arbor... SUlvn 7-6608.” I told Wolfe, “This must be her,” and reached for the phone.

“One moment,” he said. “I have a suggestion.”

Chapter 5

At midnight of that Easter Sunday I was propped against the wall of a corridor on an upper floor of 155 Leonard Street, and getting tired of it, having been there well over an hour. After Wolfe had made his suggestion, and I had dialed the Sullivan number and got no answer, I had rung the Gazette. Lon Cohen wasn’t there, but his assistant told me that the latest report was that Iris Innes was still at the DA’s office, and, knowing that they rarely keep at a woman all night even when she is charged, I had got the sedan from the garage, and driven downtown and posted myself outside the anteroom. At midnight I was still posted. Three minutes later she showed. The door opened and there she was, but not alone.

It took me two seconds to size up her escort. He was not an assistant DA. He was not her lawyer. He was therefore a dick on the DA’s staff, one I didn’t know, and he did not have her in custody. His mission was merely to see her to a police car for transportation. With that settled, I fronted them as they started down the corridor and said, “Hi, Iris. I’ll take you home.”

“Who are you?” the dick demanded.

“A friend of hers. Any objection?”

“I can use a friend,” she said, and took my arm, and we headed for the elevator. The dick said something to our backs, and we ignored it. When we reached the elevator and I glanced back, he was standing there making up his mind whether action was called for, and he was still there when the door opened and I ushered her in. Down in the ground-floor corridor a journalist tried to head us off, and, recognizing me as well as her, tagged along out to the sidewalk, where I got rude and gave him an elbow in the ribs.

When we were half a block away I spoke. “I’ve got a car parked around the corner.”

“No, thanks,” she said. “Just find me a taxi. I’ve never been put in a taxi by a prince of the blood. Only you’re more like a Boy Scout.”

We turned the corner. “Why I took your cue,” she said, “he was going to take me home and I had had all I could stand of cops for one day. How did you know I wasn’t under arrest?”

“The look on his face. I’m an expert on cops’ faces. Also the way he walked.” I touched her arm to stop her. “Here’s my car.” I pulled the door open. “Climb in. You know who I am, and you know I want to say something, or what was I there for? I’ll say it on the way to one-sixteen Arbor Street.”

She gave me a look. In the dim street light her face was more like the one I had seen twelve hours earlier peering down at me from her perch on the box, not as shadowed and saggy as it had been in the corridor. Apparently I passed, for she turned and got in, and I went around to the other side, ducked in behind the wheel, started the engine, and rolled.

She spoke. “You wanted to say something.”

“Yeah. You may know I work for Nero Wolfe.”

“Of course.”

“Millard Bynoe and Henry Frimm came to see him this evening.”

Her head jerked around. “What for?”

“It was confidential. But do you happen to know that you were going to marry Frimm and now you’re out?”

“Oh my Lord, here we go again. Let me out. If I can’t find a taxi I’ll walk.”

“I merely ask if you know it.”

“Certainly I know it.”

“Then I can admit that that entered into the conversation.” I took time out to make a left turn. “I presume you also know that the cops think a poisoned needle was shot at Mrs. Bynoe by one of us there with cameras. Or have they saved that for tomorrow?”

“They have not. They have my camera. They showed me the needle.”

“Then you’re caught up and I can speak my piece. It is widely known that I am a sharp observer, and I have good eyes. If I go to the DA’s office to answer questions, say tomorrow morning, and if I say I got a good look at your camera at close range, and I am positive that it had no trick gadgets on it, that may not make them cross you off, but it will certainly cool them down. Especially if I add that I will swear to it on a witness stand. Of course at present it’s just an if. What I want to suggest is this, that we go and talk it over with Nero Wolfe. Now.”

Her face was turned to me, and, stopping for a red light, I turned mine to her.

“I don’t get it,” she said.

“It’s simple enough. If they suspect that you shot that needle—”

“Oh, I get that. It’s you I don’t get, and Nero Wolfe.” She shut her eyes tight. “I’m too tired to think. It wasn’t Henry Frimm that got you — not Henry — and why would Millard Bynoe? Take me home.”

My eyes had left her because the light had changed and we were moving. “Mr. Wolfe will explain,” I assured her. “When you’ve had something to eat and drink you’ll feel better. He’ll tell you what—”

“No! I’m going home!” Her voice was up. “I’ll get out at the next light!”

She would have. It was no go. We would have a red light in twenty seconds, and that wasn’t time enough to talk her around, and if I pulled over and stopped she would hop out, and if I tried holding her she would yell. Her nerves had had all they could take. “Okay,” I told her, “skip it. Home it is. I’ll ring you in the morning.”

Arbor Street, in the Village, was only three minutes away, and at that time of night on Easter Sunday there was no competition. When I pulled up at the curb in front of 116 she had the door open and was out the instant I stopped, but then she stuck her head back in and was smiling at me, or thought she was. It wasn’t much of a smile, but she tried. “Thank you anyway,” she said. “I’ll sleep on it, if I can sleep.”

I waited until she was inside, then headed uptown, drove to the garage and left the car, walked around the corner to the brownstone, and mounted the stoop, but when I used my key on the door it opened only to a two-inch gap. The chain-bolt was on. I pushed the button, and when I had to wait a full minute I knew it would be not Fritz but Wolfe. The bolt clanked and the door swung open and I entered.

“No?” he said in a tone of relief. Of course that was to be expected. I will not say that he would rather be arrested for flower-stealing than tackle a woman, but he was relieved. Postpone the evil hour.

“I got her,” I said, taking off my coat, “and I had her in the car. But she balked, and even if I had got her here she would have cracked, so I took her home. I’ll try her in the morning. Anything new?”

“No.”

“Has Tabby stirred?”

“No. I wish I had never heard of orchids.”

I gawked. “You are in pain. The worst we can get is thirty days, and they might even let Fritz bring us things.” He was pushing the button to open his elevator door. “If they take away our licenses we can peddle orchids,” I said to cheer him up, and went to the office to lock the safe.

Chapter 6

Monday morning I wasn’t at home when the invitation came, by phone, for me to call the DA’s office. At eight-fifteen, after breakfasting in the kitchen as usual, and dialing Iris Innes’ number and getting no answer, and going up to Wolfe’s room, accompanied by Fritz with Wolfe’s breakfast tray, to get instructions, and mounting another flight to tell Tabby good morning and finding him still in bed, I went down to the office, got the roll of film from the drawer, and left the house for a morning walk. Finding it cloudy and windy and raw, I buttoned my topcoat.

Surequick Pix, on Fortieth Street near Lexington, was supposed to be open at nine o’clock, but the door was locked and I had to wait. When the guy came he apparently resented me for finding him late, so I apologized and he promised to have the transparencies ready by five o’clock. That was the best I could get. I left the film, went and found a phone booth, rang Iris Innes, again got no answer, and dialed the number I knew best.

In a moment Wolfe’s voice, grumpy as always when he is disturbed in the plant rooms, was in my ear. “Yes?”

“I can get the pictures at five o’clock. No answer at Iris Innes’s number. I told Fritz to keep an eye and an ear on Tabby. Do I proceed?”

“No. You are wanted at the District Attorney’s office and I suppose you’ll have to go.”

“I could have forgotten to phone in.”

“No. Go. You might learn something.” He hung up.

From there on that day was one long dismal fizzle. No working detective ever detected less in nine straight hours than I did that Monday. The first two were spent in going down to Leonard Street for an extended talk with a dick and an assistant DA, which satisfied nobody. When I refused to furnish any biographical details except those connected with the proceedings in front of Saint Thomas’s they thought they would charge me as a material witness, but since that would accomplish nothing beyond putting me to the trouble and expense of getting bail, and might possibly mean future trouble for them, they skipped it. The main ruckus was about the film. I admitted that I had removed it from the camera before surrendering the camera to Cramer. They claimed that the film was evidence and I was withholding it. I claimed that while the camera might conceivably be evidence, since they were assuming that the murder weapon had been shot from a camera, the film was absolutely out of it, and it was my property, and if they tried taking it with a writ I knew a lawyer. I conceded that if, when the film was developed, anything showed that might be evidence, as for instance a needle in flight, it would be my duty to produce it. Finally the assistant DA, fed up, told me to beat it but keep myself available, and when I said I would be moving around on errands he instructed me to ring him at least once an hour.

Those errands. Still no answer from Iris Innes’s phone, and when I went to Arbor Street no answer to her doorbell either. At the Gazette Lon Cohen told me that Joe Herrick was at the DA’s office and might be there all day. So was Iris Innes, but he wasn’t sure about Alan Geiss and Augustus Pizzi. After thirty minutes out for lunch at an oyster bar I called on All-over Pictures, Inc., but no one there was answering questions about Augustus Pizzi. Having got the address of Alan Geiss, the free-lance, from Lon Cohen, I took the subway to Washington Heights to pass the time, and time was what I passed. His landlady, getting a kick out of it, one of her lodgers having his picture in the paper, would have loved to talk, but she was cross-eyed and I was cross, so I left her, went and found a phone booth and made my three hourly calls: to Iris Innes, no answer; to Wolfe, no news; and to the assistant DA, whose name was Doyle. When Doyle said he wanted to see me I was just as well pleased. Debating with him about the nature of evidence would be fully as helpful as what I was doing and would be more fun. I sought the subway.

But Doyle didn’t resume the discussion of evidence. As soon as I was seated at the end of his desk he took an object from a drawer and handed it to me and asked, “Do you know that man?”

It was an unusually good police picture, an excellent likeness, both the front view and the profile, but I thought it proper to study it a little. Having done so, I nodded and dropped it on the desk.

“I wouldn’t swear to it, but it looks like a specimen I met once in connection with a case — wait and I’ll tell you his name. Yeah. Tabby. A couple of years ago. I could have handed him in for a little mistake he made but didn’t. Why, has he made another mistake?”

“He has been identified as the man who grabbed the orchids off of Mrs. Bynoe as she lay on the sidewalk. By three people.”

“I’ll be darned. He has, or the picture has?”

“The picture — when did you see him last?”

I grinned at him. “Now look. I told you this morning what Mr. Wolfe told Inspector Cramer. Cramer himself said that he couldn’t have stuck the needle in her when he took the orchids because she was already dying, so what has it got to do with the murder? It’s like the film, exactly. I realize we’re not in a courtroom, so you’re not bound by the rules of evidence, but I am. I don’t intend—”

“When did you see him last?”

“Nope. Connect him up. Make it material and I’ll tell you every word I ever exchanged with him. I have a wonderful memory.”

He was unquestionably displeased. It looked for a while as if the next time I touched a sidewalk I would be under bond, and when he left the room, telling me to wait, with a dick there for company, I was sure of it, but when he came back after a long quarter of an hour he had something else on his mind and merely told me that was all. He didn’t even warn me to keep myself available.

So I got back uptown and to the office of Surequick Pix shortly after five o’clock, only to find I was in for another wait. My job wasn’t finished and wouldn’t be for an hour. He explained that the day after Easter was one of the busiest days of the year, and I went out to a booth and phoned Wolfe and tried Iris Innes again, and bought evening papers to get the latest on the Bynoe murder. There were pictures of all the church-front photographers. The one of me was a shot taken that day at the Gazette office, and I was squinting, which makes me look older.

A little after six the transparencies were ready, and, while I didn’t expect to find that I had caught anything as interesting as a needle in the air, there was a viewer right there on the counter and I thought I might as well take a look. There were eleven of them altogether. Five were close-ups I had taken previously up in the plant rooms, two were of the exodus from the church before Mrs. Bynoe appeared, and four showed her and her escorts as they approached. The one I looked at longest was the fourth and last, and it confirmed my memory of what I had seen in the finder: all it had of Tabby was his arm and shoulder and the back of his head, and he was a good three feet away from Mrs. Bynoe.

No needle, no murder evidence, but a little caution wouldn’t hurt, so I asked the man for another envelope, which he kindly provided with no extra charge, put the Bynoe pictures in it, and put one envelope in my right-hand pocket and the other in my left. If the Mayor or the Governor or J. Edgar Hoover stopped me on the sidewalk and asked to see the pictures I took of the Easter parade it wasn’t necessary for him to know that I had concentrated on Mrs. Millard Bynoe. No one stopped me. It was half past six, still daylight, as I mounted the stoop of the brownstone, used my key, and found, to my surprise, that the chain-bolt wasn’t on.

But that surprise was nothing to what followed. The big old oak rack was so covered with hats and coats that I had to put mine on a chair, and Wolfe’s voice, raised a little for an audience, was coming through the open door to the office. I walked the length of the hall, looked in, saw District Attorney Skinner seated at my desk in my chair, and the room full of people. It was a shock. I don’t like other people sitting in my chair, not even a District Attorney.

Chapter 7

As I Entered, heads turned and Wolfe stopped talking. Since my chair was occupied I wanted to ask him if I was invited, but held it; and as I circled around the cluster of chairs he spoke.

“That’s Mr. Goodwin’s desk, Mr. Skinner. If you don’t mind?”

That helped a little, but not much. He had never before arranged to stage a charade without even telling me, and besides, I had spent a good part of the day, under instructions, trying to corral four of those present: Iris Innes and Joe Herrick, whom I was acquainted with, and Alan Geiss and Augustus Pizzi, whom I had seen standing on boxes the day before. There was a vacant chair back of Geiss, and Skinner got up and moved to it. Inspector Cramer was just beyond, and in front of him was Henry Frimm. In the red leather chair, exactly as he had sat the previous evening, using only half the seat, with his back straight and his fists on his thighs, was Millard Bynoe.

Bynoe and Frimm and Cramer and Skinner I could stand, but the sight of the four photographers, after the day I had spent, was too much for me. I stood at my desk and asked Wolfe, “Am I in the way?”

“Sit down, Archie.” He was brusque. “The idea of this gathering came from Mr. Bynoe, and he arranged for it with Mr. Skinner. We have been at it half an hour but have made no progress. Sit down.”

I accepted that, since a billionaire philanthropist might plausibly have considerable drag with a District Attorney, but even so, if they had been there by six o’clock the preparations must have taken more than an hour, and I had phoned in at a quarter past five and he hadn’t mentioned it. He needed a lesson in cooperation. I got the envelope from my right-hand pocket and tossed it on his desk. If Cramer got curious and demanded a look, and wondered why I had been specifically interested in Mrs. Bynoe, let Wolfe juggle it. Of course, he would merely pick it up and drop it in a drawer.

But he didn’t. The Centrex had been bought for making a permanent record of color variations in blossoms, and the viewer was there on the desk. He pulled it to him, took the transparencies from the envelope, inserted one, inspected it, removed it, and inserted another.

Cramer spoke up. “What have you got there?”

“I beg your indulgence,” Wolfe muttered, and went on inspecting, shifting from one to another. He seemed to have a favorite, and I guessed it was the last of the series. After he had inserted it a third time and given it a good long minute, he lifted his head.

“Mr. Cramer and Mr. Skinner.” His voice had an edge. “If you will please come and take a look? This is one of the pictures Mr. Goodwin took yesterday — the last one.”

He turned the viewer around and pushed it across the desk. Cramer, there first, bent over to get his eyes at the right level. After ten seconds he grunted and moved aside to give Skinner a chance. The DA took a little longer, then straightened up.

“Interesting,” he told Wolfe. “He was certainly focused on Mrs. Bynoe. That man in front, apparently reaching for her — did he reach her?”

“I think not. Mr. Goodwin says he didn’t, and I gather that the others agree. But there is, to my eye, a suggestive detail. I wish you gentlemen would look again. Closely.”

They did so, longer than before. When they had finished Cramer demanded, “What’s the detail?”

Wolfe pulled the viewer back to him and took another look, then raised his head. “I may be wrong,” he conceded, “But it deserves inquiry and I would like to test it. Not with you gentlemen, for you have seen the picture. So has Mr. Goodwin. And Mr. Bynoe and Mr. Frimm were there.” His eyes moved. “Miss Innes and Mr. Herrick, if you will oblige us? Miss Innes, you will rise and move back a little so we can all see. You are Mrs. Bynoe, crossing the sidewalk and facing the cameras. Archie, you are the man who was apparently trying to reach her. Get in front of her, at the proper distance, with your back to the cameras. Mr. Herrick, you are Mrs. Bynoe’s escort, the one at her left. Take your position. No, closer to her, quite close, according to the picture. That’s better. Now. As you are crossing the sidewalk beside her, moving slowly, a man is suddenly there, facing her, apparently intending to touch her. Instinctively and abruptly you stretch your arms in front of her to fend him off. Don’t think about it; just do it; it was actually a reflex. Go ahead!”

I, in Tabby’s position, jerked forward an inch, and Herrick stuck his arms out in front of Iris Innes.

“Again, please,” Wolfe commanded. “You’re not attacking him; you are merely barring him off. Again!”

I jerked again and Herrick flung his arms across.

Wolfe nodded. “Thank you. Miss Innes, keep your position. Mr. Pizzi, will you demonstrate for us?”

Skinner said something to Cramer that I didn’t catch as Augustus Pizzi, who was barrel-shaped with slick black hair, replaced Joe Herrick and put himself in the mood by glaring at me. He performed with more zip than Herrick, and, after he had repeated it twice on request, made way for Alan Geiss. Geiss, from the expression on his long bony face, thought it was a lot of hooey, but he went through with it, twice.

“That will do,” Wolfe told us. “If you will resume your seats?” He turned the viewer around and pushed it across the desk. “Mr. Bynoe and Mr. Frimm, I think you should have a look at the picture.”

They had to wait because both Cramer and Skinner were at it ahead of them, for another go. Millard Bynoe was last. He peered at it for three seconds, not more, and then returned to the red leather chair and got his spine straight.

Cramer rasped, “I see where you’re headed, Wolfe, but watch your step.”

“I shall,” Wolfe assured him. His eyes went from right to left and back again. “Of course I am going to explore the possibility that Henry Frimm killed Mrs. Bynoe. After that demonstration it would be witless not to. All three of the demonstrators held their arms in approximately the same position, with their palms outward, whereas in the picture Mr. Frimm’s right arm is turned so that the palm is inward; and moreover, the tips of his thumb and forefinger are touching, which is absurd. All the demonstrators had their fingers spread on both hands. The position of Mr. Frimm’s hand and fingers is explicable under one assumption: that he was about to stick a needle into Mrs. Bynoe.”

I was aware that Skinner said something, and that Frimm started to leave his chair and decided not to, and that Iris Innes made a noise, but only vaguely because of Millard Bynoe. His jaw dropped open and his head was moving from side to side, from Wolfe to Frimm and back again, a perfect picture of a goof. He was making no effort to speak.

Frimm did make an effort. “This is before witnesses, Wolfe.”

Wolfe eyed him. “Yes, sir, I know. I have seen that picture only now, but I was too pressed for prudence. Mr. Bynoe was so urgent about the job he hired me to do that I permitted him to get all these people here, though I hadn’t the slightest idea what I would do with them, and probably nothing would have been accomplished if Mr. Goodwin hadn’t turned up with that picture. You know what Mr. Bynoe hired me for; do you challenge my right to explore a possibility?”

“No, I don’t challenge you.” Frimm swallowed. “But there are witnesses.”

“There are indeed.” Wolfe’s eyes were half closed. “There is no question about opportunity; you were there, and your hand was there. The point arises: why did you select so public an arena, with cameras pointed at you? Obviously you did so deliberately, calculating that it would be assumed that the needle was shot from one of the cameras, as indeed it had been. Two questions remain: where did you get the needle and the poison? and why did you do it?”

He turned a hand over. “The first is for Mr. Cramer and his army. His talents and resources are ideally fitted for that. For the second, I can at the moment only offer suggestions. We are exploring possibilities, and one is offered by the fact that you are the operating head of the Bynoe Rehabilitation Fund and Mrs. Bynoe was active in its affairs. She may have discovered, or suspected, that you were making free with the Fund’s money, and was going to tell her husband. That can be explored by examination of the Fund’s books. Another suggestion is offered by Mr. Bynoe’s high regard for his wife’s integrity — he prefers the word ‘purity.’ It might be that—”

Bynoe put in. He had his jaw back under control and had found his voice. It had changed, though; it came out harsh and louder than necessary. “You will omit that, Mr. Wolfe.”

“No, sir,” Wolfe declared, “I will not.” He kept his eyes at Frimm. “It might be that you had a try at her integrity and were repulsed. Assuredly you would not have killed her because she indulged you, but what if she refused to? And what if you were so persistent that she resolved to inform her husband? You would have lost your job and all that it meant to you. Of course, an exploration of this possibility may be extremely difficult. If you have peculated there are records that will reveal it, but a rebuffed gallantry may have left no record. There may be no one alive, except you, who knows anything about it. In that case—”

“I do.”

All eyes went to Iris Innes. Hers were aimed at Frimm, and he twisted around to meet them.

“You tinhorn Casanova,” she said in a voice that wanted to shake but she wouldn’t let it. “Hinting to me that you had her, and I knew all the time you didn’t. That was what finally gave me sense enough to realize what you were. Remember, Hank? Remember what you told me? I’ve kept it to myself because I was having enough trouble already, but now they can have it.” Her eyes went to Wolfe. “Yes, I know about it. He told me—”

Frimm dived at her. I was too far away, and so was Cramer. Skinner was close enough, but DA’s are for thinking, not acting. It was Joe Herrick who stopped him. Frimm did not get his hands on her, at least he reached her, but Herrick grabbed his arm and whirled him around, and then Cramer and I were both there, and if you can believe it, Millard Bynoe was there with us. I actually think he was going to use a fist at last, after all the years, but Cramer got in between them and I pushed Frimm down onto a chair. Also I had his arms pinned, since another possibility to be explored was that he had another needle.

Bynoe, his tight fists hanging, faced Cramer and spoke. “The needle shot from a camera — he suggested that. He suggested it to me, and I suggested it to you.” He was having trouble with his jaw. “And my wife had decided not to tell me on Good Friday. She was waiting until after Easter. He knew that. Of course he knew. He—” His jaw suddenly clamped and he swung around to Frimm.

“Take it easy, Mr. Bynoe.” Cramer had a hand on his shoulder.

Wolfe growled, “Will somebody get Miss Innes up and onto a chair?”

Chapter 8

But rebuffed gallantry was never mentioned at the trial, and Iris Innes wasn’t called. It wasn’t necessary, since they could show that Frimm had made free with the exchequer of the Bynoe Rehabilitation Fund to the tune of more than a quarter of a million, and since Cramer justified Wolfe’s rating of his talents and resources by discovering how and where he had got the needle and the poison.

If you would like to see the plant of flamingo-pink Vanda, ring me and if I’m not too busy I’ll arrange it. It has a spot all to itself on a bench up in the plant rooms. It came in addition to Bynoe’s check in payment of Wolfe’s bill for services rendered. I have no proof that Wolfe dropped any hints to Bynoe about the Vanda, but I wasn’t with him when he visited Bynoe’s greenhouses, and I am entitled to my opinion.

And if you have some little confidential chore you would like to hire Tabby for, I might be able to put you in touch with him, but I warn you not to offer him too much. It goes to his head.

Content

Rex Stout
The Easter Parade Murder

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8