Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 1, No. 1, May 1967 (UK)

“Ghost of a Chance” by Carroll Mayers. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Jun 1965

“The Escape of Elizabeth Clary” by Ernest S. Kelly. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Nov 1965

“Keeper of the Crypt” by Clark Howard. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Dec 1965

“The China Cottage” by August Derleth. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Mar 1965

“The Chinless Wonder” by Stanley Abbott. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Jan 1965

“Chain Smoker” by Arthur Porges. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Aug 1965

“A Good Friend” by Richard Deming. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Aug 1965

“Mrs. Gilly and the Gigolo” by Mary L. Roby. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Aug 1965

“For Love” by Elijah Ellis. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Aug 1965

“Memory Test” by Jack Ritchie. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Aug 1965

“The Five Year Caper” by Talmage Powell. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Aug 1965

“The Sucker” by David Mutch. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Aug 1965

“You Can’t Catch Me” by Larry Maddock. First published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine Jan 1965

Ghost of a Chance

by Carroll Mayers

Anent the credo that superstitions begin as heresies, I highly recommend Voltaire’s admonition, “Crush the infamous thing (superstition) and love those who love you.”

* * *

In all of County Fermanagh you would likely find no citizen less superstitious than Michael Doyle. To some, it was imperative to circumvent diligently a black feline or sidestep an angled ladder. Other precautions were legion. By and large, Doyle considered such thinking childish nonsense.

Today, though, as he sat in the front room of the neat cottage while Dr. Carmody attended his wife, Doyle’s mind was churning with converse speculation. Could there be anything significant about Sarah’s sudden coronary, coming only a month after he’d met Molly Brennan? Could he look upon the seizure as opportune, even felicitous? Aside from some funereal fantasies and convictions he deplored, Sarah had been a good wife, tending to his creature comforts all these years. But never had she fired his blood as did Molly. Never had her simple touch constricted his chest and set his temples pounding.

Now, and might the good saints understand and sympathize for his harbouring such a wonderment, could it be that Sarah’s attack meant that soon he and Molly—

Dr. Carmody emerged from the bedroom. The physician was the best in Aughnacloy and, in the moment of stress, Doyle had considered no other, but had sent a neighbour lass posthaste to fetch him, after Sarah had been stricken while clearing away the supper dishes.

“H-how is she, Doctor?” Guilt over the macabre pondering which had gripped him made Doyle’s query break; he arose unsteadily from his chair.

“She’s resting comfortably,” Carmody said. He was a portly man, brisk and efficient, yet with an understanding mien. “I’ve given her some medication to ease her distress.”

“She’ll be all right?”

“I’ve little doubt of it.” The doctor’s smile was reassuring. “The seizure seems relatively mild. We’ll know more definitely after a bit of checking.”

Doyle believed he comprehended. “A cardiogram, Doctor?”

“Yes,” Carmody nodded as he picked up his bag “Don’t worry, Mr. Doyle; once the medication takes hold, your wife should have a restful night. I’ll stop back early tomorrow. Try to get some sleep yourself.”

After the physician had departed, Doyle looked in on his wife, found her already sleeping. He went back to the front room, tried to interest himself in the day’s newspaper. He couldn’t. His thoughts vacillated from innate, husbandly concern for Sarah to frank realization such concern was now largely feigned. He kept visualizing Molly Brennan’s snapping black eyes and quirking red lips as she dispensed beer and repartee to the patrons of the Cat and Fiddle. Molly had come to town only a month ago but, from the very first week, he’d become infatuated, and she had miraculously returned his regard by meeting him clandestinely behind Thompson’s Mill.

At ten o’clock Doyle gave up, sought to compose himself for the night on the couch. The endeavour was futile. Censure over his initial thoughts about Sarah’s attack (superstitious speculation cloaking a death wish?) engulfed him in waves. Sleep was impossible.

The days immediately following were no better. An examination made with a portable cardiograph he brought to the cottage the next morning convinced Dr. Carmody no extensive heart damage had occurred, and that Sarah would not require hospitalization.

“Complete rest is all she needs for a month, Mr. Doyle,” the physician stated. “After that, some buggy rides in the country, a little mild activity, and your wife should be fine. Just be certain she avoids any emotional upsets, any shock or strain.”

Doyle knew he should have been delighted with the encouraging prognosis. He also knew he wasn’t — and why he wasn’t — and the clash of conflicting emotions was devastating.

Molly brought the whole smouldering issue to flame one night a week later. The neighbour lass had been staying with Sarah days, getting her meals and tending her wants while Doyle was at work at Jellicoe’s farm; and this night he had prevailed upon the girl to remain after supper while he left the cottage “for a bit of a breather”. The reprieve had been sought behind Thompson’s Mill, where Molly came into his arms with a ready kiss and a fervent sigh. “I wish she had died,” Molly whispered.

Shocked despite himself, Doyle drew back. “Don’t say that!”

“Why not?” Molly’s red mouth pouted as she pressed close. “It’s what you’re wishing too, isn’t it?”

“No! No, it’s not.”

“Don’t be lying to me, Michael Doyle. I know you too well for that.”

“Please, Molly,” Doyle implored, sorely shaken now that his soul was being stripped bare. “We mustn’t be talking like this. Sarah’s my wife.”

Molly’s lips again brushed his. “And you wish she wasn’t,” she murmured.

“I... I can’t wish such a thing.” Molly disengaged herself, but still stood close, close enough for him to catch the intimate scent of her hair, read the unspoken promise in her lovely dark eyes. “I’m not believing you can’t, Michael,” Molly told him quietly.

There was the devil’s own crux of it all; with this breathtaking creature in his arms, Doyle realized he wasn’t believing it either.

The sleepless night which ensued was but a sample of many. Though he contrived to conceal his state from Sarah, Doyle’s nerves grew wire-taut; his appetite lagged and his strength ebbed. Conversely, with each’ succeeding day, Sarah’s recovery bloomed apace. The fresh air buggy rides which Dr. Carmody had prescribed, and which Doyle had no legitimate excuse against conducting, put roses in Sarah’s cheeks and left small doubt of her imminent return to full health. This realization, when balanced against brief moments of consolation with Molly, left Doyle all the more miserable.

And then one night as he tossed fitfully on the couch, the solution presented itself. Full-blown, complete, the very simplicity stunned Doyle, left his pulse racing. Any misgiving, any subconscious moral dissuasion was swept aside in grim recognition of his own intolerable position and what it would mean to be free to take the delectable Molly as his bride. He could do it; he had to do it.

“I can’t go on this way,” Doyle earnestly told the winsome barmaid when they met the following night.

She studied him, shrewdly sensing a subtle implication in his tone. “You’ve thought of something,” she suggested, making it a statement rather than a question.

He drew a breath. “I have.”

Molly snuggled against him. “Tell me, Michael.”

Doyle hesitated, his arms trembling as he returned the embrace. “The doctor cautioned me against Sarah’s experiencing any sudden shock or strain,” he said finally. “If she did get such a shock, a truly severe one—” He stopped, swallowing hard and averting his gaze. Thinking was one thing, but actually putting it into words—

Molly’s dark eyes continued to seek his. “You’re saying, if we did the shocking?”

Doyle’s reply was barely audible. “Yes.”

She pulled back slightly. “That would be murder, Michael,” she said.

He stiffened, forced himself to look at her. “I don’t want to be talking about that,” he answered, his voice abruptly taut. “All I know is, it’s our best chance.” He drew her close once more, sought her lips. “Our only chance, darlin’.”

For a long moment Molly responded; then she resolutely broke the kiss with a simple query. “How, Michael?”

Doyle breathed deeply again. “A scare; a sudden terrible fright.” he explained. “Sarah believes in spirits; she’s deathly afraid of sometime meeting up with a ghost. If I should take her for a buggy ride and we’re late getting back; if we should drive past the cemetery outside town just about dusk...”

Comprehension danced in Molly’s gaze. “And if I was already there, wearing a sheet and hiding behind a tombstone near the road when you...”

Doyle nodded. “Some wild shrieking and swooping should do it,” he said solemnly. “Afterwards, there’ll be no evidence. I’ll simply claim. Sarah suddenly collapsed again. There’s not a soul in town who will be believing otherwise.”

Molly abruptly giggled. “Or suspect our grave undertaking.”

He frowned at her levity. “Don’t be laughing, Molly. At best, it’ll not be easy for me.”

She sobered. “I know, Michael,” she whispered, slipping into his arms anew. “But I’ll make it up to you. You’ll see.”

Once the seed of decision had been planted, Doyle was impatient for its frutition. Behind the mill two nights later, with the weather cool and pleasant, he told Molly they would make their play the following day.

“Sarah has a sister in Dungannon; she’ll be happy to make the trip when I suggest it,” he explained. “I’ve already asked Mr. Jellicoe for the day, and I’ll delay our return so it will just be turning dark.” He looked earnestly at Molly. “Be certain you time it right, now. Not too soon. Wait until we’re almost upon you, so Sarah will be sure to see. Then swoop out with a fierce, piercing shriek.”

Her lips were soft upon his. “No banshee will ever wail fiercer,” she promised.

Sarah was indeed gratified at Doyle’s suggestion. An unpretentious woman, she found enjoyment in simple activities and watched her husband hitch the mare to the buggy with obvious pleasure. “It will be good to see Emily again,” she agreed.

But if Sarah was pleased by the trip, her sister was even more so. At the hour Doyle had elected for their departure, Emily would not even consider Sarah’s leaving. “She’ll stay until the weekend,” she informed Doyle with firm geniality. “You can drive back for her Sunday.”

Sarah’s concurrence was characteristically diffident. “A little visit would be nice,” she suggested.

Some rapid cerebration convinced Doyle to agree reluctantly. Should he obdurately insist upon Sarah’s return this day, her sister might very well recall, wonder about it later. While that would be a minor point, and nothing could be proven, still it was better to arouse no speculation, particularly when it meant only a few days’ delay until another trip could be undertaken. Further, now that he thought about it, it would do no harm to see how Molly carried it off, how she conducted her ghost act when the buggy approached the cemetery. Sort of a “dry run”, you might say.

So Michael Doyle drove home alone.

With a few exceptions, all of Aughnacloy attended the wake and funeral. Molly Brennan was one who didn’t. The experience so unnerved her she was forced to take to her bed for a week. She continued to envision that terrible moment when, shrieking and wearing her shroud, she had jumped from behind the tombstone and so spooked Michael Doyle’s mare that the frightened animal bolted, throwing Doyle from the buggy to strike a roadside boulder and split open his skull like an eggshell. And all on Friday the thirteenth, no less.

The Escape of Elizabeth Clary

by Ernest S. Kelly

Ironically, the haste of one’s departure is often gauged in direct ratio to the incentive for the decampment.

* * *

Elizabeth Clary sat on the hard wooden chair, thin hands clasped in her lap, narrow blue eyes staring straight ahead, her face a blank mask. She listened to her husband’s voice raised in fury and condemnation.

Clarence Clary was rehearsing his Sunday sermon. He paced the floor, long thin legs moving in jerky, birdlike motion, his big, flat feet pounding the floor, his thin, conceited lips moving rapidly. Even now, after all those years of listening to Clarence rehearse, Elizabeth was still amazed that so deep, so powerful a voice could come from so thin, so empty a shell. Heavy, crackling with conviction, his great vocal chords belted out words like bullets. And like bullets, his words bounced off the room and bombarded her eardrums.

Unable to stand it any longer, nerves screaming for release, Elizabeth waited until his back was towards her, rose and slipped, in panic, from the house.

Even outside, in the quiet of her little garden, she wasn’t entirely free of him. His voice, loud and demanding, reached through the screen door, searched her out, needling her nerves. Elizabeth clamped hands over her ears, stumbled to a battered lawn chair and crumpled into it, stifling a sob.

The voice stopped suddenly and the silence was heavy, pregnant with relief. Slowly Elizabeth Clary relaxed and inhaled the soft, scentladen air. Her ears throbbed in horrid remembrance, and she started to plan, calmly with utter disregard for self, with the cold logic that comes with complete desperation. For Elizabeth Clary was desperate.

Outwardly, to the casual onlooker, she was one of those meek, gentle, butterfly-like creatures that seem a part of the general scenery rather than an active, alive participant in life. Her hair, light brown and soft as moondust, made her look mousy, and coupled with her brilliant blue eyes, gave her the appearance of always being startled. The Reverend Clary was dead set against such devilish things as beauty parlours and cosmetics. Hence her lips, devoid of artificial colouring, were just pallid lines in her pale face. Her figure, had she had the right clothes, might have been attractive. Just turned thirty-one, Elizabeth Clary looked fifty, and felt it

The Reverend Clarence Clary had done a complete job of changing her, in ten years, from a wholesome, self-thinking girl, into an expressionless robot. If, she thought wryly, anybody ever wrote her history starting with the day she shyly murmured, “I do,” to Clarence Clary, the story would be short and brutally uninteresting. Cook frugal meals, wash Clothes by hand. Clarence Clary had no time for modem inventions like washers and dryers.

The work she could stand. But Clarence Clary’s endless sermons, his loud, dramatic voice and his unending pious meanness was degrading. Then, too, the periodic teas and afternoon socials in the homes of wealthy parishioners never ceased to humiliate her. On these trying occasions, she had to sit, cup in hand, ashamed of her clothes, and listen to the petty gossip, the glittering fashion talk, and the self-righteous church talk.

Last Sunday, after the evening service, Elizabeth Clary’s degradation had become complete when, at a meeting of the Elders in the little room behind the choir stalls, the great Reverend Clarence Clary, ever mindful of his duty, had agreed with the stingy elders that the Parish couldn’t afford a regular janitor any longer, and that his wife could clean out the church every week, and he, the rector, would look after the furnace. Beaming with soulful self-sacrifice, Clarence had roared into the little house beside the church and informed her of his noble decision. The money saved, he said, would be added to the missionary fund.

Boredom and frustration had accumulated inside Elizabeth Clary, atom upon vicious atom, and now she was ready to explode. She settled herself in the garden chair and planned her break for freedom. Clarence Clary, zealot, bigoted tyrant, had to die. It was the only way. He would never let her go, never. His pride was too great. Clarence was so wrapped up in ritual and conventional religious patterns he couldn’t see the face of God for the walls of pagan rigamarole he’d built around himself. Early in their marriage, Elizabeth had tried to debate, voice opinions, talk about God intelligently. Clarence had been shocked, outraged and angry. Seizing the Bible, he had thumped it loudly, informing her that all he needed to know was within those covers.

His formula was immensely successful. With Clarence Clary in the pulpit, his parishioners were worry-free and conscience-clear. He never attacked them with guilt-raising ideas or thought-provoking arguments. He preached the same sermons their grandfathers had preached, in the recognized loud voice. Entirely devoid of creative ability, without an idea in his head, Clarence Clary just reworked and rewrote old sermons, heady, wishy-washy things he’d heard in Divinity School or read in some staid religious publication. He said nothing and did nothing, which was exactly what was expected of him. His parishioners were happy, and lip service was the complete service. Only Elizabeth, drab, uninteresting and silent, was unhappy.

Even in her bitterness, frustration and panicky desperation, Elizabeth knew in her heart there was a God. Clarence Clary was the cause of her misery. He didn’t need a wife, just a housekeeper. She had been reduced to just that. Elizabeth Clary knew the only way out of the corner was to attack.

Now, revitalized and quickened to action by her decision, Elizabeth left the chair and started toward the house, a new, deliberate spring to her step. Clarence Clary had to die.

Clarence, his pale face brooding, cloudy in reproof, met her at the door. “You didn’t listen to my sermon.” His lips protruded sullenly. “It’s your duty, you know.”

“I am quite aware of my duties, Clarence.” She walked past him to the kitchen. “All of them.”

He followed her in vindictive haste. “What’s come over you, Elizabeth? Doesn’t my success mean anything to you anymore?”

“Your success?” The words shot out, dry, crackling with bitter humour. “Oh, I am quite proud!” she waved a thin arm. “After all, I am part of your success, aren’t I. Don’t you see that?”

“Then why don’t you listen to my sermons anymore?”

“Because, my dear man,” Elizabeth smiled sweetly, “I know you and I know your sermons. The parishioners always get what they deserve. You don’t need my ears, Clarence. Your sermons speak for themselves.”

Puzzled, but appeased, the Reverend Clarence Clary left the kitchen. The door had hardly closed behind him before Elizabeth and her strangeness was forgotten and he was deep in thought, wondering just what tones he should use to deliver this, his best sermon.

It was nearly dark when Elizabeth let herself into the church through the side door. She paused, listening, then crept past the altar, along by the choir stalls to the little oak door. Beyond that door was the little room Clarence used as his office, study, and clearing room. It was here that all money collected for the church was kept until it reached sufficient proportions to warrant a trip to the bank.

She was about to knock and enter when she heard voices from inside. She leaned closer and listened.

“Wonderful!” Her husband was speaking, his thick, velvety voice gushing with joy. “A real Godsend, Austerberry.” Then his voice dropped into a sad dirge. “Too bad poor old Mrs. MacDonald had to die before we could have enough funds to complete the new wing on the Sunday School. When did the poor soul pass away, Austerberry?”

“Just half an hour ago, Reverend!” Arthur Austerberry’s voice was juicy with importance. Elizabeth could imagine his, thin, wizened face screwed up, thin lips writhing as he churned out the words. “I wanted to fetch you soon as she took the bad stroke, Reverend, but Doc Adams said it was too late. Instead, he gave me the package with your name on it and told me to hustle-over here and give it to you, in person. Seems that was poor Sara MacDonald’s last request.”

“You did right, Arthur,” Clarence Clary said soothingly. “Thank you and bless Sara MacDonald’s soul. May she rest in peace.”

“Amen!” echoed Arthur Austerberry. Then, “Ain’t you going to open the parcel, Reverend?”

“Right now, but I must say, I think I already know what’s inside the package, Arthur.”

“You do, Reverend?” Austerberry was loud in wonder. “What would it be now?”

“Money!” Reverend Clarence Clary sounded like a judge pronouncing sentence. “Ten thousand pounds, Arthur, that’s what’s inside the package. Ten thousand pounds!”

“Blimey!” Arthur Austerberry’s voice crackled through the closed door. “Ten thousand quid!”

“Yes,” Clarence sounded smug. “Doctor Adams was good enough to telephone and tell me you were on your way, Arthur.” The deep voice became stern. “I must say you took your time getting here.”

“I hurried, Reverend!” Austerberry whined. “Fast as me poor old legs would carry me. Ran near all the way, I did.”

“All right, Arthur.” The sound of paper tearing reached Elizabeth’s ears. “You didn’t guess what was in this package? Well I knew, for the last two years, that Sara, bless her, was giving this money to me — I mean to the church. You see, Arthur, she confided in me. This parcel, ten thousand pounds, has been resting under her mattress for two years!”

“Blimey!” Arthur Austerberry gasped.

“Where will you keep it, Reverend?” Austerberry was breathing heavily. “It’s an orful lot of money.”

“Right here.” Clarence Clary was firm. “It belongs here, with me. I’ll get it to the bank in the morning.”

The sound of a chair scraping on the stone floor made Elizabeth move away. Hastily she stole to the side door and let herself out in the moonlit churchyard. Taking a shortcut through the old weedgrown graveyard, she let herself into the rectory and stood staring through the kitchen window, her pale face glowing.

Ten thousand pounds! In cash! In Clarence Clary’s bony hands!

Outside the window, night, velvet sprinkled with diamonds, was serene, peaceful.

Inside Elizabeth Clary, turmoil and tension pounded and throbbed endlessly. Here was her one chance to freedom and a fling at life before she was too worn out and old to enjoy it. The key to her freedom was inside the church, and if she knew Clarence Clary, he was caressing it right now, note by note.

Where would she go after — after she did it? Anywhere, she thought, elated. Across the Channel; Europe, maybe even America.

Elizabeth stood by the window, watching and waiting. She waited an hour. Still, Austerberry didn’t leave the church. Her courage started to fade. What on earth was Clarence doing talking with that shifty little man? What would the Reverend Clary and a humble, often drunken, little handyman have in common?

Curiosity boiled up inside her. She gently opened the screen door and started across the grass towards the church. That stone and brick house of God was in utter darkness. Not a light showed anywhere. Had Clarence left with Austerberry? It didn’t seem likely.

Feeling her way, she crept along the damp stone wall of the church and reached the little side door. Her fingers found the latch. She lifted it, pushed the door open, and stepped inside, leaving the door open. Then she felt her way past the altar and through the choir stalls to the door of her husband’s study. Pale light showed under the door. Why hadn’t she seen the little gleam of light outside, from the window? She took a deep breath, opened the door. Her eyes widened and a hand rose to stifle a cry. The Reverend Clarence stood in the middle of the room, in front of his littered desk. On the desk were piles of one pound and five pound notes, each pile neat, bundled and held together with thick elastic bands.

On the floor lay Arthur Austerberry, his mean eyes wide open in terror, one knarled fist held out as if to protect himself. A great gash covered the left side of his face. The long, black poker, made of heavy wrought iron, lay on the floor beside the body. It was covered, at the heavy end, with blood and dirty brown hairs.

“Elizabeth!” Clarence Clary sobbed, his face twisted in despair. “I killed him — heaven help me!”

“How?” Elizabeth was suddenly calm. Her mind was working overtime. “What happened?”

Quickly Clarence told his story. Old Sara MacDonald had finally died, but in her last few words she had instructed Doctor Adams to send Austerberry over to the church with her bequest. He waved towards the money on the table. Clarence went on, “Arthur came with the money. I made him stay while I counted it. There was a hundred pounds missing. I accused Arthur of having opened the parcel and stolen the money. He denied it and tried to make a break for the door. I grabbed him and we struggled. The money fell from his pocket.” Clarence ran a hand wearily across his eyes. “I grabbed the poker and—” He stopped and started to cry, his hands shaking.

“And you killed him,” Elizabeth finished calmly.

“Yes.” Clarence straightened, took a deep breath and moved toward the desk.

“I must phone the police and confess.” His face was tragic in its despair.

“Nothing of the sort!” Elizabeth moved quickly and firmly. “He’s dead. We can’t change that. And you killed him.” She looked at her sniffling husband. “You are a murderer, Clarence.” She let the words sink in, then said with finality, “But you are not calling the police!” She stood between Clarence and the desk. “After all,” she spoke hurriedly and with conviction, “he was a thief and fought with you. In a way, what you did was in self-defence.”

“Yes!” Clarence Clary’s face filled with wild hope. “That’s it! Self-defence!”

“All right!” Elizabeth felt tall and strong. Her new power over her husband made her feel heady. She suppressed a giggle. “Here’s what we do. We bury the body in the old graveyard behind the church. Remember that tomb that’s partially caved in? We’ll slip him in there and leave him. The graveyard has been abandoned for the past fifty years. Nobody ever goes there. He’ll never be found.”

“Yes!” Clarence looked at his wife with awe and respect. He said greedily, his confidence reborn, “Why should I suffer? It was an accident. But a police inquiry would ruin me.”

“Exactly,” Elizabeth agreed coldly. “Now let’s get him out of here and inside that old tomb.”

Together they lifted the body, he at the head and she at the feet. Outside all was blackness, the moon blanketed with cloud, the stars beyond the mist. Twenty minutes later they were back inside the little room. Elizabeth calmly picked up a clean altar cloth and wiped the poker. She did a complete job. “It’s chilly in here,” she commented dryly, and picked up the waste paper basket and dumped the contents into the fireplace. “Light it,” she ordered. Without a word, Clarence Clary struck a match and set the paper ablaze. Elizabeth tossed the bloody cloth into the flames.

“Tie all that money together and wrap it up, tightly.” She stood over her husband and watched his shaky attempts to make a parcel of the money. Finally it was done. Elizabeth dropped the parcel into her sewing case and shut the lid.

“Now,” her voice dropped to a soft whisper, “get on the phone. Call the police, tell them that Arthur Austerberry ran away with the money.”

“What!” Clarence Clary gaped, his mouth open. “You can’t be serious?”

“Do it!” Elizabeth stamped her foot. “Do as I say!”

Puzzled, bewildered, but still in awe of this new and powerful Elizabeth, he picked up the phone and dialled. “Police? This is Reverend Clary. Yes, that’s right. Look here — something has happened. Yes, here at the church. That scoundrel Arthur Austerberry is...” He never finished the sentence.

Holding the poker in both hands, Elizabeth brought it down upon the back of Clarence’s unprotected head. There was a dull thud. Without a sound, Clarence Clary fell across the desk, the telephone spilling to the floor, the wires dangling. Elizabeth hit him just once more. Then, using her old cotton dress, she carefully cleaned the poker and laid it on the desk near her husband’s broken skull. Then she picked up her sewing case and left the room.

Elizabeth Clary was sitting in the old rocker near the kitchen stove when the low, almost apologetic, knock sounded on the back door. Sighing, she stood up, saying, “That you, Clarence? Must you always knock? Come on in, darling.”

The door opened and the large, burly figure of Police Inspector Michael Manners filled the doorway. He held his hat in his hands and his round red face was squirming with pity. He gulped twice before a sound escaped his lips. “Mrs. Clary, ma’am, I’m sorry to bust in on you at this late hour, but...” Words failed him.

Elizabeth jumped up, smiling happily. “Come in, Inspector. It’s kind of you to drop by.” She held out her hand. “But if you want Clarence, he’s over at the church.” She shook her head. “Sometimes, Inspector, I wish my husband weren’t quite so wrapped up in his profession. Sometimes I get very lonely, even if he is just across the courtyard. Really, he works too late. Shall I call him?”

“No!” The Inspector said hurriedly. He thought, “How am I going to tell her? She’ll be an awful lot more lonely after tonight.” For the first time in his career he hated his job. “You’d better sit down, Mrs. Clary. I’ve some bad news. It’s...” he started to stammer. “It’s the Reverend, he’s...” Finally he told her.

Elizabeth Clary fell away in a dead faint, with a little gasp.

Inspector Manners swore under his breath and promised himself that he would see that swine, Arthur Austerberry, swing on the gallows.

Three weeks later, small, timid and alone, Elizabeth Clary stood on the station platform waiting for the train that would take her away. Beside her, his face still drawn with pity, stood Inspector Manners, holding her shabby little valise. He didn’t speak. What could he say? Arthur Austerberry had vanished. Not a trace of him nor the money could be found. Inspector Manners felt he had let Elizabeth Clary down rather shabbily, as did most of her late husband’s parishioners. A few of them stood in a tight little knot, a few steps behind the Inspector.

The train puffed into the station. The Inspector gently assisted Elizabeth aboard.

As the train was departing, Elizabeth held up her battered sewing case. “Poor Clarence’s socks,” she explained tearfully. “I couldn’t very well leave them behind, could I?”

Keeper of the Crypt

by Clark Howard

It is a matter of record that an habitual corpse-gazer, should he indulge overlong, may very well experience hallucinations of reincarnation.

* * *

Finch moved like a specter across the cemetery, his footfalls cushioned in silence by the thick turf of the grounds. His thin body, stooped and grey, blended almost invisibly into the light morning fog that still hovered eerily around the tombstones. At the edge of clearing where the crypt stood, Finch stopped and peered through the haze. A clean-cut young man, dressed in a tan chauffeur’s uniform, was working on the crypt door. Finch stood quietly for a moment, admiring the young man’s shiny leather boots, the knifelike creases of his coat sleeves, the easy, confident movements of his gloved hands as he slid the barrel of a small oil can from one hinge to another, lubricating metal that had not moved in nine years.

Lucky you are, Gerald Stander, Finch thought; a good clean job with uniform provided; a fine car to drive and polish; handsome face to get you that fleshly little wife of yours; even a furnished house on the grounds of the manor to keep her in. Aye, lucky you are, all right; luckier than me, down here in the fog and nobody but the dead for company. Living in that ugly caretaker’s cottage, talking to myself of late.

But never mind, he thought. He looked beyond the crypt to the nearest tombstone at the edge of the clearing. That was where his tunnel ended. It wouldn’t be long now.

The young man, Gerald Stander, turned toward him and Finch immediately started walking on to the clearing, lest Gerald suspect he had been watching and wondering.

“Good morning, Finch,” young Stander greeted him.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Finch said without preliminary. He walked up to the crypt and looked at the heavy metal hinges with their dry rust thirstily drinking in the fresh oil. “So his lordship, the Earl of Sheel, is finally dead, eh?”

“Aye,” said Stander, “he is that.”

“Well, bloody few’ll miss the arrogant old devil,” Finch observed. “How did it happen?”

“The epilepsy got him. Late in the night it was Strangled on his own tongue.”

“Vile tongue it was, too,” Finch muttered. He walked with Stander back to the steel-grey limousine that belonged to Murfee Manor. Some of the fog had blown away now and Finch could look up and see the great house high atop a hill. “When’ll they be bringing him down?” he asked.

“This afternoon, I expect. There are no heirs left, not even distant, you know. The family solicitor’s coming from London with the key to the crypt. He’ll keep the services fairly simple, I expect.”

“Close the crypt back up tonight, will they?” Finch asked casually.

“Got to,” said the young chauffeur. “They that ain’t embalmed have to be sealed in an airtight crypt within twenty-four hours.” Stander looked curiously at Finch. “You ought to know that, old man, being the gravetender. It’s the law, ain’t it?”

“Yes, yes, so it is,” said Finch. “I’d forgot.” He turned and looked back at the crypt, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. “How many of the family’s in there now, would you know?”

“There’s five, I’m told. The eldest son, who killed himself; the Earl’s brother, who was a bit odd and never married; Lady Murfee, who drank herself to death; and the daughter and a younger son who died together in a speeding auto crash.”

“So the old man’ll make it an even half dozen,” Finch observed.

“Aye, and that’ll close the crypt for good.”

“Yes,” Finch said softly, “yes, it will.” He took a deep breath of the chill morning air. “Well, I’d best be getting back to my cottage. I’ve things to tend to.”

Gerald Stander watched the stooped gravetender walk out of the clearing. Dull, stupid fool, the young chauffeur thought. Just because he lives down here all alone, he has to skulk around like a ghost. I’d give a lot to be in his place, I would. Get out of these stiff clothes, away from that harping wife of mine. Have a nice little house out here away from it all, place to bring that little barmaid from the pub. Ah well, it won’t be long now. Soon as they get his lordship stretched out in that crypt. I’ll rid myself of this place once and for all, I will.

The solicitor, a tall, stuffy man with an uneven moustache, had an obvious distaste for cemeteries in general and cemetery crypts in particular. With his briefcase in one hand an ornate jewel box under one arm, he stood by the open steel door that afternoon and watched, dutifully if impatiently, as six hired pallbearers carried into the crypt the coffin containing Tyron Murfee, last Earl of Sheel.

With the solicitor stood the Earl’s doctor, a Lloyd’s of London representative, and the manager of the Evanshire branch of the Dover Bank, in which the Murfee estate was entrusted. Gathered behind that esteemed group, at a respectable distance, were the assorted servants, groundskeepers, stable-hands, and other domestics and manor help, numbering sixteen, and including in their forefront, Gerald Stander, appropriately dressed in his dark-grey chauffeur’s uniform.

Off to one side, alone, stood Finch.

When the coffin had been set upon its bier and the hired pallbearers discharged, the solicitor summonded into the crypt all those remaining. The group filed inside and gathered round the bier in solemn obedience. All eyes, naturally curious, lingered for a moment on the five airtight caskets resting in a precise row on other biers along one wall. A common shudder tickled the collective spines of the watchers at being, so close to so much death.

The solicitor took his place next to the coffin. He cleared his throat, loudly but rather reluctantly, for he was certain the air in the musty little structure was surely unfit.

“A preamble to the Earl of Sheel’s last will and testament,” the solicitor announced, “directs that the document be opened and read here, in the final resting place of his beloved deceased family.”

“Beloved, indeed,” one of the servants whispered knowingly. “He drove ’em all to this very crypt.”

“Representatives of the Earl’s bank and insurance carrier are present,” the solicitor continued, “as is the doctor who last attended the Earl. Mr. Finch represents the cemetery on which the crypt stands and will certify to the sealing of the door when this ceremony concludes.”

The solicitor hesitated for a moment, unconsciously wetting his lips; then, realizing what he was doing, hastily withdrew his tongue lest the tainted air reach it.

“There are two more parts to the preamble,” he said distastefully. Opening the ornate jewel box, which he had placed on the bier edge, he showed its contents to all present. “As has been customary in the Earl’s family for many years, the personal jewellery of departed members is laid to rest with the deceased. In the Earl’s case, he being the last of the line, this will consist of all the remaining rings, signets, coat of arms, and other standards of the House of Sheel. They are all contained here in this box, as has been certified by the gentleman from Lloyd’s. I ask you now to witness their deposit in the coffin.”

The solicitor extracted from his pocket a pair of suede gloves which he pulled on to his hands. He grasped the edge of the coffin lid and exerted pressure to raise it. The lid gave an inch, then stuck. The solicitor grunted, straining vainly at the jammed cover.

“Let me help you sir,” said Gerald Stander, stepping forward smartly. He forced the lid up the rest of the way.

“Thank you,” the solicitor said, panting slightly. He straightened and looked down at Sir Tyron Murfee. The Lloyd’s and Dover Bank representatives strained their necks to see in death the man they had never seen in life; and when they did see, their eyes widened in surprise at the sheer bulk of the man, for the Earl of Sheel weighed nineteen stone — better than two hundred sixty-five pounds.

“Hefty bloke, what?” whispered the Lloyd’s of London man. “Ever see such a belly?”

“That’s the rich for you,” the Dover Bank man said back, “always eating like hogs. The solicitor’s got his work cut out for him, finding any room for them jewels.”

The solicitor commenced distributing the various jewelled articles into the coffin; a ring here, a pendant there, the coat of arms, another ring, singnet clasps, a few unmounted stones, more rings. When the jewel box was empty, he put it aside and directed his attention to Finch.

“The last part of the preamble requests that the Earl’s coffin be left open, since he is the last of the line, and following his interment the crypt is to be sealed forever. As cemetery representative, Mr. Finch, do you have any objection to such a procedure?”

“None, sir,” said Finch, “so long as the crypt itself is safely sealed.”

“Very well,” said the solicitor. “All conditions having been duly complied with, we may proceed with the distribution of the estate.”

Opening his briefcase, the solicitor removed the will and broke its seal. It was a surprisingly uncomplicated document. The stable-hands received fifty pounds each, the groom a hundred. Groundskeepers were given fifty, the gardener one hundred, domestics fifty, the cook a hundred, and so on. Gerald Stander, who had been chauffeur to the Earl for some six years, received a compromise amount — seventy-five pounds. That was sweet of you, old boy, Gerald thought. Give me first class fare to Paris, it will, away from that nagging nag of a wife of mine.

The bulk of the estate, four hundred thousand pounds plus Murfee Manor, went to the Foundation for the Study and Cure of Epilepsy, the Earl having been plagued all of his adult life by that disease. The Lloyd’s of London man was instructed to pay the Earl’s insurance to the Dover Bank man, who in turn was to distribute the legacies accordingly.

“The will directs that a final medical examination be made on the Earl before the crypt is sealed,” said the solicitor. “Doctor, if you please.”

The doctor stepped up to the bier with a stethoscope and listended to the Earl’s chest. Next, he placed a thumb and forefinger on the wrist. Lastly, he held for several seconds a small mirror before the slightly parted lips.

“I detect no heartbeat or pulse.” he declared, “and no breath clouds on the mirror. Again I pronounce Tyron Murfee, the Earl of Sheel, to be dead.”

“I think that concludes the formalities,” said the solicitor. “If you will all step back outside now and witness the sealing of the crypt—”

With the Lloyd’s man and the Dover Bank man and Finch and the servants all gathered round, the solicitor, his briefcase in one hand and the now empty jewel box under his arm, used a shoulder to push the great crypt door closed. Juggling the briefcase, jewel case and his gloves, he fumbled with the bulky crypt key, almost dropping it, and then Gerald Stander stepped smartly forward again.

“I’ll get it for you sir,” he said with a smile. He took the heavy key from the solicitor s hand, inserted it into the lock and twisted it completely around. There was a sharp click as the tumblers engaged Stander removed the key and stood close to the door, putting all his weight on the lock handle to test it. The handle held firm. Stander straightened, squared his shoulders in satisfaction and turned back to the solicitor.

“Thank you,” said the solicitor, taking the key Gerald held out and putting it into his briefcase. He turned to Finch. “You’ll certify that the crypt is once more sealed, Mr. Finch, as it was requested?”

Finch tested the lock. “Aye,” he said, “sealed it is.”

“Very well. These proceedings are hereby ended. Thank you all for your attendance.”

The gathering began to disperse. Finch lingered with Gerald Stander for a moment near the crypt door, filling his pipe while he unobtrusively eavesdropped on the solicitor and the doctor.

“What was all that business of a final medical examination?” Finch heard the solicitor ask the doctor.

“Precaution, I imagine,” said the doctor. “The old boy had epilepsy for years, you know. Somewhere he got wind of an Old Wives’ Tale about the seizures sometimes leaving people in a catatonic state where they appear dead, but aren’t. The saying goes that after twelve or fifteen hours the body comes out of it, fully alive again. Naturally, hearing a story like that makes some epileptics fearful of premature burial.”

“Yes, well. I shouldn’t wonder,” said the solicitor. He glanced back at the crypt door. “You, ah — you’re absolutely certain in this case, are you?”

“Now, see here, counsellor,” the doctor said, slightly miffed, “how’d you like it if I questioned the legality of the will?”

“Yes, I see your point,” said the solicitor. “My apologies. Well, I must be off if I’m to make the last train to London.”

“Be happy to drive you, sir,” Gerald Stander offered. “Got the Manor car right here.”

“Good of you,” said the solicitor.

Finch watched them go. When they were beyond sight, he hurried anxiously toward his cottage — toward his tunnel.

The passageway, leading from beneath the cemetery cottage to a point directly under the Murfee crypt, was exactly large enough in circumference to enable Finch to crawl on his hands and knees the entire distance. Finch had dug out the last eight feet of it that very afternoon, finishing minutes before the Earl’s coffin was brought down from Murfee Manor. It was a compact, well-constructed tunnel, shored up on both sides and above by sturdy slabs of rough wood, of the same type used to wall up open graves on rainy days. Even the weight of a hearse on the ground above would not disturb the tunnel

An hour after the crypt had been closed, Finch sat at an old wooden table in his shabby little cottage, drinking a large glass of whiskey and contemplating the open hole in the floor before him, the entrance to his tunnel which had taken him a year to excavate. He shuddered at the thought of all that had gone into that tunnel or, more gruesome yet, all that had come out of it. Working underground in the muck and mire was bad enough, but when the muck and mire contained the remains of—

Finch shuddered again and gulped down his whiskey. No matter, he thought. It’s all over now, all but the collecting. He stood up and looked at his pocket watch. The solicitor would be boarding the train just about now. In another half hour the cemetery would be dark. Might as well get on with it.

The stooped, grey cemetery keeper slung a hand shovel and crowbar across his back, looped a battery lantern around his neck, and lowered himself into the hole. Reaching out behind him, he removed a wooden brace and carefully let drop into place a cut-out slab of the brick floor to conceal his passageway. Finch rarely had visitors, but tonight was not the night to take unnecessary risks. With the slab in place, the hole would be undetectable.

The tunnel, as usual, was damp and clammy; but on this, the beginning of his last trip through it, Finch did not mind the wetness that crept up through his trouser knees, nor the sharp rocks he occasionally jabbed his hand against, nor even the putrid odour he invariably encountered midway in his journey; for tonight — tonight was the time he had dreamed about all the lonely, barren moments of his life. Tonight was the time of rebirth.

He crawled, the shovel and crowbar rubbing heavily on his shoulderblades. He crawled, the shifting strap of the lantern burning his neck raw. He crawled, the dampness biting painfully into his arthritic bones; the thick smell of stale death abusing his nostrils; the closeness of the tunnel trying his lungs. He crawled and crawled and crawled.

And at last, chopping upward almost frantically with the shovel, cutting away the last three feet of soil in one corner of the floor, he broke into the crypt of Tyron Murfee, the last Earl of Sheel.

Panting, Finch dragged himself out of the hole and leaned against the wall. He flashed his light along the bricks until it showed him an oil beacon, still partly filled from the funeral that afternoon. He snapped a wooden match and touched the wick. Flickering light spread slowly across the crypt and Finch turned off his lantern. Quietly he surveyed the room of the dead in which he stood. A cold, rough shiver jerked his body in a brief spasm, like an icy chain had been dragged up his spine. He swallowed dryly. Best not think about the dead, he told himself. Think about the living; think about yourself, man.

Finch leaned the crowbar against one of the closed coffins and went over to where the Earl lay in the open coffin. He began collecting the jewels scattered around earlier by the solicitor, delicately pinching them out one by one with thumb and forefinger, putting them into his coat pocket, silently counting the pieces as he went along.

Suddenly his blood turned cold and he stiffened in terror — as a sharp click told him that someone was unlocking the crypt.

The lock handle was slowly being lifted. Finch finally recovered his senses sufficiently to step quickly away from the bier and fade back into the shadows. An instant later, Gerald Stander entered and pushed the heavy door closed behind him. The young chauffeur paused, startled by the burning light in the crypt. Then, apparently deciding that it had been left on from the afternoon’s gathering, he merely shrugged and moved quickly to the open casket to do his obvious work, collecting the jewels Finch had not had time to gather.

Finch, watching him, became incensed. He moved back into the light, his ashen face white with outrage.

“Stop there, you dirty grave-robber!” he called out, impervious for the moment to his own like status.

Stander, hearing the condemning, self-righteous voice, all but fainted. He stumbled back from the bier in near panic, barely retaining his balance.

“How’d you get that door open?” Finch demanded to know.

“I... it... the key—” Stander babbled.

Finch’s brow wrinkled. “The key?”

Stander squinted his eyes, staring at the old man. “Yes, the key. I... I switched keys after I locked the door. I... I gave the solicitor another key.”

“Do you mean to say,” Finch’s voice rose in shocked indignation, “that I worked for a year tunneling in here from my house, and you... you found a way in by just stealing the key!”

“You dug your way in here?” Stander said incredulously. The young chauffeur, quickly regaining his composure, glanced around and saw the hand shovel stuck in the ground next to Finch’s tunnel exit. “You dug all the way from your house? Through all those — all those graves? How could you do it?”

Suddenly the whole picture of Finch’s indignation unfolded in Stander’s mind, and the younger man threw back his head and roared with laughter.

“You fool,” he said to Finch, “you poor, stupid old fool! I accomplished in two or three seconds what it took you a whole year to do. No wonder you tend graves; you’ve not enough sense to be allowed among the living!”

Finch’s face contorted in rage. He closed his fists and hurled himself toward Stander, lashing out with a blow that fell flush on the younger man’s mouth and sent him reeling back against the open coffin.

“You dirty old tramp,” Stander snarled, reaching up to touch a warm trickle of blood bubbling from the corner of his mouth. “I’ll kill you for that!”

Finch backed off in suddenly born fear as the chauffeur charged him. He stumbled back across the crypt as the full weight of Stander’s body lunged into him. His back bent over one of the closed coffins as Stander’s strong young hands closed around his throat and began to choke the consciousness from his brain. All the strength drained from the old gravetender’s frail arms; they dropped limply alongside the coffin, and Finch, was certain at that moment that he was going to die.

Then one hand touched the cold steel of the crowbar he had left there, and desperate new strength sparked to life.

Finch curled his fingers around the bar, raised it high, and slammed its edge against Stander’s temple. The chauffeur grasped his head in pain, stumbling backward. Finch struck him another blow, this one on the crown of the head. Stander pitched forward, brushing past Finch, tumbling face down across the casket lid. His body slid over the smooth brass lid and fell limply behind the casket. He lay motionless.

Finch got his lantern and peered over the casket, holding the bar raised for a third blow. The light fell on an open mouth and a pair of fixed eyes staring up sightlessly from the shadow, the eyes of a dead man.

Finch stepped back, sighing heavily. Putting down the crowbar and lantern, he gently rubbed his sore neck, remembering the strength of Stander’s fingers. Bloody fool nearly had me, he did. Finch looked around the gloomy crypt, swallowing down a dry throat. I’ll just take what’s in the Earl’s coffin, he though nervously, I’ll not try to open the others.

He went shakily back to the bier holding the coffin of Tyron Murfee. Quickly he resumed his pilfering, snatching a ring here, a pendant there, a gold signet, a silver watch.

A Sheel coat of arms, mounted in a jewelled medallion, lay nearly hidden next to the casket lining near the Earl’s left shoulder. Finch spotted it and started to reach across for it. His hand stopped midway over the great chest of Tyron Murfee and he stared down at the face of the Earl.

His eyes are open, Finch thought, confusion and fear tickling through him. Had they been open before? He tried to remember. Yes, of course, they had. No, wait. Stander’s eyes were open; Stander, lying dead behind the other coffin; but the Earl — hadn’t his eyes been closed?

Cold sweat burst out on the back of Finch’s neck. His hand, still poised over the coffin, began to tremble. What was it that doctor had said about the epilepsy making people seem dead?

Finch jerked his hand from over the coffin and backed away. I’ve got enough, he decided quickly, feeling the small bulge of jewels in his coat pocket. I’d best get out of this place while I’ve still my senses.

Hurriedly, he got the lantern and switched it on. With a handful of loose dirt, he extinguished the oil beacon. He gathered his crowbar and shovel and dropped them into the tunnel hole. Then, as he was about to step into the hole himself, he paused as a sudden thought came over him.

The door! Stander had unlocked the door! There was no need to use the tunnel at all, he could go out the door.

No, wait now, he thought, what if I’m seen by someone? Not likely, to be sure, but still there’s them in town that over-curious at times, and someone might’ve wandered down just to be looking. Better to use a bit of caution, even if it does mean crawling through that blasted tunnel again. That door, though, that’s a rub; can’t chance leaving it unlocked.

Finch hurried over and searched the body of Gerald Stander until he found the crypt key. He started for the door, the lantern beam bobbing up and down as he walked. Halfway across, the light fell upon Tyron Murfee’s coffin and Finch noticed with a start that the Earl’s eyes were closed. Now, they were open before, weren’t they? He thought frantically. Or is it Stander’s eyes I thinking of? Wait now, Stander’s eyes were open and the Earl’s closed; yes, that’s it. I’ll go daft if I don’t get out of here soon!

At the door, Finch turned off the lantern and put it down. He opened the heavy vault door an inch and peered out. A full moon cast an eerie silver glow over the cemetery. Finch listened for a moment, hearing nothing. Quietly he opened the door just far enough to reach out and slowly lower the locking handle until it was in its closed position. That done, he reached out with the key, slipped it into the lock and turned the holding tumblers into place. There now, he thought, if the door will crypt’ll be sealed tight again.

Finch leaned his weight against the door. It snapped solidly into place and held firmly.

And that, Finch thought, takes care of any evidence. With the key inside, the crypt of Sheel will never again be opened.

Picking up his lantern, Finch switched it on again and started back for his tunnel. He could not help thinking about Tyron Murfee’s eyes. Were they open or closed? As he passed the coffin, he deliberately flashed the beam of light on it, then tried to steady it.

Finch froze in terror, his blood turning icy, his palms and the bottoms of his feet and the inside of his mouth drawing up in tight, cold panic. The coffin of Tyron Murfee, the last Earl of Sheel, was empty!

“No,” Finch muttered in a quivering whisper, “no, no, no—”

The lantern slipped from his hand; its beam of light flashed and whirled about the crypt as it bounced and tumbled from coffin edge to ier to the ground, finally landing upright between Finch and the tunnel. When it was still, the lantern cast its light straight again, shining brightly on the tunnel hole — now the only way out of the crypt.

And in the hole, twisting and writhing, his face contorted in epileptic madness, was Tyron Murfee, his huge bulk hopelessly stuck in the hole.

Finch, still holding the useless key in one hand, screamed.

Outside the crypt, silence reigned over the cemetery and all in its domain were of the dead.

The China Cottage

by August Derleth

While the ordinary intellect may accept the pattern of coincidence without question, one of superior acumen is apt to prove it a happenstance which beclouds the view.

* * *

“My esteemed brother,” said Solar Pons as I walked into our quarters one autumn morning for breakfast, “has a mind several times more perceptive than my own, but he has little patience with the processes of ratiocination. Though there is nothing to indicate it, it was certainly he who sent this packet of papers by special messenger well before you were awake.”

He had pushed the breakfast dishes back, having barely touched the food Mrs. Johnson had prepared, and sat studying several pages of manuscript, beside which lay an ordinary calling card bearing the name Randolph Curwen, through which someone had scrawled an imperative question mark in red ink.

Observing the direction of my gaze, Pons went on. “The card was clipped to the papers. Curwen is, or perhaps I had better say ‘was’, an expert on Foreign affairs, and was known to be a consultant of the Foreign Office in cryptology. He was sixty-nine, a widower, and lived alone in Cadogan Place, Belgravia, little given to social affairs since the death of his wife nine years ago. There were no children, but he had the reputation of possessing a considerable estate.”

“Is he dead, then?” I asked.

“I should not be surprised to learn that he is,” said Pons. “I have had a look at the morning papers, but there is no word of him there. Some important discovery about Curwen has been made. These papers are photographs of some confidential correspondence between members of the German Foreign Office and that of Russia. They would appear to be singuarly innocuous, and were probably sent to Curwen so he might examine them for any code.”

“I assumed,” said an icy voice from the threshold behind me, “that you would have come to the proper conclusion about this data. I came as soon as I could.”

Bancroft Pons had come noiselessly into the room, which was no mean feat in view of his weight. His keen eyes were fixed unswervingly upon Pons, his austere face frozen into an impassive mask, which added to the impressiveness of his appearance.

“Sir Randolph?” asked Pons.

“Dead,” said Bancroft. “We do not yet know how.”

“The papers?”

“We have some reason to believe that a rapprochement between Germany and Russia is in the wind. We are naturally anxious to know what impends. We had recourse to Curwen, as one of the most skilled of our cryptologists. He was sent the papers by messenger at noon yesterday.”

“I take it he was given the originals.”

Bancroft nodded curtly. “Curwen always liked to work with the originals. You’ve had a chance to look them over.”

“They do not seem to be in code,” said Pons. “They appear to be only friendly correspondence between the foreign secretaries, though it is evident that some increase in trade is being contemplated.”

“Curwen was to have telephoned me early this morning. When seven o’clock passed without a call from him, I put in a call. I could not get a reply. So we sent Danvers out. The house and the study were locked. Of course, Danvers had skeleton keys which enabled him to get in. He found Curwen dead in his chair at the table, the papers before him. The windows were all locked, though one was open to a locked screen. Danvers thought he detected a chemical odour of some kind: it suggested that someone might have photographed the papers. But you shall see Curwen. Nothing has been touched. I have a car below. It isn’t far to Cadogan Place.”

The house in Cadogan Place was austere in its appointments. It was now under heavy police guard; a constable stood on the street before the house, another at the door, and yet another at the door of the study, which was situated at one corner of the front of the house, one pair of windows looking out toward the street, the other into shrubbery-grown grounds to a low stone wall which separated the building from the adjacent property. The house was Georgian in architecture, and likewise in its furniture.

When the study door was unlocked. it revealed book-lined walls, the shelving broken only by windows and a fireplace. The walls framed what we had come to see — the great table in the centre of the room, the still-lit lamp, the motionless form of Sir Randolph Curwen, collapsed in his armchair arms dangling floor-ward, his head thrown back, his ace twisted into an expression of agony. Beside him stood, as if also on guard, a man whom Bancroft Pons introduced as Hilary Danvers.

“Nothing has been disturbed, sir.”

Bancroft nodded curtly and waved one arm toward the body. “Sir Randolph, Parker. Your division.”

I went around immediately to examine the body. Sir Randolph had been a thin, almost gangling man, A grey moustache decorated his upper lip, and thin grey hair barely concealed his scalp, Pince-nez, one eyeglass broken, dangled from a black silk cord around his neck He appeared to have died in convulsive agony, but there was certainly no visible wound on his body.

“Heart?” asked Pons.

When I shook my head, he left me to my examination and walked catlike around the room. He examined the windows, one after the other, tested the screen on the hall-opened window to the grounds, and came to a pause at the fireplace, where he dropped to one knee.

“Something has been burned here,” he said. “Part of the original material?”

Bancroft said peevishly, “A cursory examination suggests that someone burned papers with figures on them, as you can see. We’ll collect the ashes and study them, never fear.”

Pons rose and came around to the table. He stood to scrutinize it, touching nothing. Most of its top was spread with the papers from the Foreign Office; these were divided into two piles, with one sheet between them, this one evidently being the paper Curwen was reading when he was stricken. A pad of notepaper, free of any jottings, was at one side of this paper. The perimeter of the desk was covered by an assortment of items ending with a small white, rose-decorated cottage of china, with an open box of incense pastilles beside it. Curwen’s chair had been pushed slightly back from the table and around to one side, as if he were making an attempt to rise before death overtook him.

“Well, Parker?” asked Pons impatiently.

“A seizure of some kind,” I replied. “But I fear that only an autopsy can determine the cause of death precisely. If I had to guess, I’d say poison.”

Pons flashed a glance at his brother. “You mentioned an odour on entrance.”

“We believe the odour emanated from the incense burner,” Mr. Danvers said.

“Ah, this,” said Pons, his hand hovering over the china cottage. He gazed inquiringly at Danvers.

“We have tested for fingerprints, Mr. Pons. Only Sir Randolph’s were found.”

Pons lifted the cottage from its base, where, in a little cup, lay the remains of burned pastilles. He bent his face toward the cup and sniffed. He looked up with narrowed eyes, picked up the base of the china cottage, and thrust it at me.

“What kind of scent might that be, Parker?”

I followed his example and sniffed. “Almond,” I said. “They make these pastilles in all manner of scents.”

Pons put the china cottage back together and picked up the box of pastilles. “Lilac,” he said dryly.

“The room was locked, Mr. Pons,” put in Danvers. “No one could possibly have got in, if you’re suggesting that someone came and poisoned Sir Randolph.”

“Child’s play,” muttered Bancroft impatiently. “What did he find in the papers that someone should want to kill him? Or burn his findings?”

“You’re irritable today,” said Pons. “There’s nothing here to show that Curwen found anything m the papers.”

“On the contrary, there is everything to suggest that somehow someone managed entrance into this room, killed Sir Randolph, and burned his notes.”

“Why not take them along? If he were clever enough to enter and leave a locked room without a sign to betray him, he must certainly have known that something could be determined from the ashes. I believe the papers in the grate were burned by Sir Randolph himself. He tore off what was on his pad and what had accumulated in his wastebasket under the table, emptied the wastebasket into the fireplace, and set fire to the contents. The ashes are substantial. There is among them at least a page or two from the Times, no reason for burning which I could adduce on the part of a foreign agent. Yours is the Foreign Office approach, all intrigue and espionage.”

“It is indeed,” said Bancroft shortly.

Pons turned again to the china cottage. “If I may, I should like to take this back to Praed Street.” He picked up also the box of pastilles. “And this.”

Bancroft stared at him as if he were convinced that Pons had taken leave of his senses.

“This is bone china,” Pons said, with a hint of a smile at his lips. “Of Staffordshire origin, it dates, I should say, to the early nineteenth century. This china, though translucent, will tolerate a surprising amount of heat.”

“Pray spare me this lecture,” said Bancroft icily. “Take it.”

Pons thanked him dryly, slipped the box of pastilles into his pocket, and handed the china cottage to me “Handle it with care, Parker. We shall examine it at our leisure at 7B.” He turned again to his brother. “Sir Randolph lived alone. Surely there were servants?”

“A Mrs. Claudia Melton came in to clean the house twice a week,” said Bancroft. “And there was a man-servant by day, Will Davinson. He prepared Sir Randolph’s meals and tended to the door. He has come in, if you wish to question him. If so, let us get about it at once.”

Bancroft signalled to the constable who stood at the threshold, and he led us out of the room to the rear quarters. In a combination Kitchen and breakfast room, there sat waiting a middle-aged man who, immediately on our entrance, clicked his heels together, standing like a ramrod.

“Mr. Davinson,” said the constable. “Mr. Solar Pons would like to ask you some questions.”

“At your service, sir.”

“Pray sit down, Mr. Davinson.”

Davinson regained his chair and sat waiting expectantly. His eyes were alert and conveyed the impression of youth the rest of his body belied.

“You were Sir Randolph’s orderly in the war?” asked Pons abruptly.

“Yes, sir.”

“You had reason then to know his habits very well?”

“Yes, sir.”

“He seems to have been addicted to the burning of incense.”

“He has burned it for as long as I’ve known him.”

“You will have had occasion to ascertain how many pastilles a day he customarily burned.”

“Sir, he released the fragrant smoke only when he retired to his study. This was usually in the evening. He seldom burned more than three in an evening, and commonly but two.”

“His favourite scent?”

“Lilac. But he also had pastilles scented with rose, almond, thyme, and, I believe, lavender. He always had a good supply.”

Pons took a turn down the room and back. He stood for a few moments in silence, his eyes closed, his right hand pulling at his earlobe.

“Sir Randolph was a reclusive man?”

“He saw very few people.”

“Whom did he see in the past fortnight?”

Davinson concentrated for a moment. “His niece, Miss Emily Curwen. She had come to London from her home in Edinburgh and came to call. That was perhaps a trifle over two weeks ago.”

“No matter,” said Pons. “Go on.”

“Mr. Leonard Loveson of Loveson & Fitch in High Holborn. That was a business matter. Sir Randolph held a mortgage on their place of business.”

“Sir Randolph held other such mortgages?”

“I was not in Sir Randolph’s confidence, sir, but I believe he did.”

“Go on, Mr. Davinson.”

“Well, then there was a great-nephew, Ronald Lindall, the son of Miss Emily’s sister, also from Edinburgh; he was at the house six days ago, paying a courtesy visit, I took it.”

“Anyone else?”

“Yes,” said Davinson hesitantly. “There was a legal gentleman two days ago, all fuss and feathers. They had words, but briefly. Sir Randolph soothed him and sent him off. I believe the matter concerned another of Sir Randolph’s mortgages.”

“He was a hard man?”

“No, sir. Quite the contrary. More than once he remitted interest due him — even cancelled it. And on one occasion he forgave a small mortgage. No, sir, he was far too easy a man to deal with. Some of them took advantage of him.”

Pons took another turn around the room. “Of these people, which were familiar visitors?” he asked.

“Mr. Loveson.”

“You had not seen Miss Emily before?”

“No, sir. Sir Randolph had spoken of her, but she had not visited at any time that I was in this house.”

“You admitted her?”

“Yes, sir. Sir Randolph never answered the door. If I had gone, unless he had an appointment, he did not answer the door at all.”

“Will you cast your mind back to Miss Emily’s visit? How did she seem to you?”

“I don’t follow you, Mr. Pons.”

“Was she composed — sad, gay, what?”

“She seemed to be a trifle agitated, if I may say so. But that was when she left, Mr. Pons. When she came in she was very much a lady.”

“She and her uncle had words?”

“I could not say.” Davinson was suddenly prim.

“Mr. Lindall, now.”

“He was a somewhat truculent young man, but apologetic about disturbing Sir Randolph. They had a pleasant visit. Sir Randolph showed him about the house and garden, and he took his leave.”

“Mr. Loveson. Do you know, is the mortgage a large one, presuming it has not been settled?”

“I don’t know, but I had the impression that it is quite large.” Davinson swallowed and cleared his throat. “I must emphasize again, Mr. Pons, that while Sir Randolph did not take me into his confidence, I was able to come to certain conclusions about his affairs.”

“One could hardly expect otherwise of a companion of such long standing.”

Davinson inclined his head slightly as if modestly accepting faint praise.

“The gentlemen from the Foreign Office,” Pons said then. “Did you admit them?”

“No sir. They came after I had gone to my flat.”

“You answered the telephone while you were here. Do you recall any appointments after your hours during the past two weeks?”

“The foreign gentleman, three nights ago.”

“Did he leave his name?”

“No, sir. He asked to speak with Sir Randolph. He spoke in a German accent. Sir Randolph was in his study. I made the signal with the buzzer, and Sir Randolph took the call. I stayed on the wire just long enough to be sure the connection had been made.”

“You heard their conversation?”

“Sir only enough to know that Sir Randolph was very much surprised — I took it, agreeably. Afterward, he came out and instructed me to prepare some sandwiches and chill some wine, so I knew he expected someone to come in during the evening. I assumed it was the foreign gentleman.”

Pons nodded. “Your leaving arrangements were by your choice, Mr. Davinson?”

“No, sir. That was the way Sir Randolph wished it. He never wanted to be valeted, didn’t like it. But he needed someone to do the ordinary things in the house during the day.”

“You have your own keys?”

“Yes, Mr. Pons.”

“Sir Randolph was secretive?”

“Only about his work. He was a gentleman who, I should say, preferred his own company to that of anyone else. He treated me very well. Indeed, if I may say so, I should not be surprised to find myself mentioned in his will. He hinted as much to me on several occasions, and that ought to be proof enough that he was not unnecessarily secretive.”

“Thank you, Mr. Davinson. I may call on you again.”

“I want to do anything I can to help, sir. I was very fond of Sir Randolph. We were, if I may say so, almost like step-brothers.”

“Was that not an odd way of putting it?” asked Bancroft, when we were walking away from the kitchen. “One says, ‘we were like brothers’. Step-brothers, indeed!”

“Probably not, for Davinson,” said Pons. “I fancy it was his way of saying they were like brothers one step removed on the social scale, Sir Randolph being a step up, and he a step down.”

Bancroft grunted explosively. “You’ve frittered away half an hour. To what conclusion have you come?”

“I daresay it’s a trifle early to be certain of very much. I submit, however, that Sir Randolph was murdered by someone he had no reason to fear. He appears to have been a cautious man, one not given to carelessness in the matter of his relationship with the public.”

“You have some ingenious theory about the murderer’s entrance into and exit from the locked room, no doubt,” said Bancroft testily.

“I should hardly call it that. Sir Randolph admitted him, and Sir Randolph saw him out, locking the doors after him. Until we have the autopsy report, we cannot precisely know how Sir Randolph was done to death.”

“We are having the papers gone over once again.”

“A waste of time. You Foreign Office people think in painfully conventional patterns. I submit the papers have nothing to do with it.”

Bancroft protested, “Surely it is too much to believe that Sir Randolph’s possession of these papers at the time of his death amounts only to coincidence?”

“It is indeed an outrageous coincidence,” said Pons. “But I am forced to believe it.”

“Is there anything more here?” asked Bancroft.

“If possible, I should like to have a copy of Sir Randolph’s will sent to 7B without delay.”

“It will be done.”

Back at our quarters, Pons retired with the china cottage and the box of pastilles to the corner where he kept his chemicals, while I prepared to go out on my round. When I left 7B, he was in the process of breaking apart one of the scented pastilles; when I returned two hours later, he had broken them all apart and was just rising from his examination, his eyes dancing with the light of discovery.

“Sir Randolph came to his death by his own hand.”

“Suicide!”

“I have not said so. No, one of the pastilles contained cyanide. It was prepared and placed among the pastilles in the box on the desk, unknown to him. Since he used not less than two pastilles a day and not more than three, and the box contains normally two dozen pastilles, we can assume the poisoned pastille was placed there not more than twelve days ago. From the ashes in the china cottage it is possible to determine that the cyanide was enclosed in inflammable wax, and this enclosed in the customary formula. Sir Randolph fell victim to a death trap which had been laid for him by someone who both knew his habits and had access to his study.”

“I thought it poison. What was the motive?”

“It was certainly not the papers, as was evident the moment I concluded that the incense burner was the source of Sir Randolph’s death. That faint odour of almond, you will remember, was indicative.”

“His estate then?”

“We shall see. Only a few minutes before your return a copy of Sir Randolph’s will arrived. I was about to examine it.”

He crossed to the table, took up the sealed envelope laying there, and opened it. He stood for a few moments studying the paper he unfolded. “An admirably clear document,” he murmured. “To his faithful servant, Will Davinson, twenty-five hundred pounds. To Miss Emily, ‘who is otherwise provided for,’ the sum of five hundred pounds. To Mrs. Claudia Melton, two hundred pounds. The bulk of his estate distributed equally among five charitable institutions. All mortgages forgiven!”

“There is certainly not much in the way of motive there,” I said.

“Murder has been committed for as much as ten pounds,” said Pons. “And less. But hardly with such care and premeditation. I fancy the stake was considerably more than two or five hundred pounds.”

“Davinson has motive and opportunity.”

“He could hardly deny it,” observed Pons with a crooked smile.

“He knew he was mentioned in the will. He told us as much.”

“Rack up one point against his having planned Sir Randolph’s death.”

“I recall your saying often that when all the impossible solutions have been eliminated, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” Parker continued, “Davinson spoke of a foreigner, a German, who visited Sir Randolph only a few days before his death.”

“We have only Davinson’s word for it,” said Pons.

“If not the papers from the Foreign Office, we seem to be left with only Sir Randolph’s estate for motive,” I pointed out, with some asperity.

“His estate seems to be well accounted for.”

“The mortgage holders!” I cried.

“I have thought of them. Even before I saw this document, I suggested that some inquiry be set afoot about them. But a venture to predict it will be disclosed that Sir Randolph did not hold many unpaid mortgages, and that the total sum involved is not as large as Davinson, for one, believed.”

“The man Loveson?”

“I have not forgotten him. His will very probably turn out to be the largest outstanding mortgage. He may have had motive in addition to having opportunity. The probability, again, is remote, for it must surely have occurred to him, should any thought of killing Sir Randolph have crossed his mind, that his motive would be instantly perceived. Moreover, we have Davinson’s word for Sir Randolph’s lenience with his debtors, and this is given adequate support by the terms of Sir Randolph’s will, forgiving his mortgages. No, there is something else here of which we have as yet no inkling, something that induced his murdered to go to great pains to prepare a deadly pastille, secrete it among those on the table during the time of his visit with Sir Randolph — or his secret entry into the house, if it were that — and then be safely away when his victim by chance selected the poisoned pastille for use. it was all very carefully premeditated; there was nothing impulsive about it. That is why, patently, the papers have nothing to do with the matter, for whoever put the pastille into the box did so well before even Sir Randolph knew that he would be sent the papers for examination. By the same process of deduction, the foreign visitor lacked motive — if there were such a visitor.”

“And if not?”

“Then, I fear, we should have to put Davinson through it. But there is little reason to doubt Davinson’s story. A foreign visitor to Sir Randolph is not unlikely. And Davinson does not seem to me to be capable of so elaborate a plan.”

“Who then?”

“We must consider that Davinson was gone by night. Sir Randolph was alone. He could have given entry to anyone he pleased, regardless of what Davinson believes.”

“Well, then, we get back to motive.”

“Do we not?” So saying, Pons sank into a reverie, from which he stirred only to eat, with a preoccupied air, a lunch Mrs. Johnson sent up. He still sat, smoking pipe after pipe of his abominable shag, when at last I went to bed.

Pons’ hand at my shoulder woke me while it was yet dark.

“Can you spare the day, Parker?” he asked, when I sat up. “We have just time to catch the four o’clock from King’s Cross for Edinburgh.”

“Edinburgh?” I queried, getting out of bed.

“I have an unyielding fancy to learn what the late Sir Randolph and his niece had words about. We lose a day by travelling later. The four o’clock brings us into Edinburgh by one-thirty this afternoon. We shall have ample opportunity to make our enquiries of Miss Emily Curwen. You will have hours to sleep on the train.”

“Miss Emily!” I cried. “For five hundred pounds? Preposterous!”

“Unlikely, perhaps, but hardly preposterous,” retorted Pons. “Poison, after all, is primarily a woman’s weapon, so she is a suspect.”

Pons had already summoned a cab, which waited below. As soon as I had dressed and made arrangements for my locum tenens to call on my patients for the next two days, we were off for King’s Cross station, which we reached just in time to catch the train for Scotland.

Once in our compartment and northward bound out of London, Pons sank again into cogitation, and I settled myself to resume the sleep Pons had interrupted.

When I woke in the late morning hours, Pons sat watching the lovely countryside flow by. We had crossed the Scottish border, and soon the familiar heights of Arthur’s Seat, the Salisbury Crags, the Braid Hills and Corstorphine Hill would come into view. Here and there little pockets of ground mist still held to the hollows, but the sun shone, and the day promised to be fine.

The tranquil expression of Pons face told me nothing.

“You cannot have been serious in suggesting that Miss Curwen poisoned her uncle,” I said.

“I am not yet in a position to. make that suggestion,” replied Pons, turning away from the pane. “However, a curious chain of events offers itself for our consideration. There is nothing to show that Miss Emily visited her uncle at any time previous to her recent visit. Then she comes, they have words, she hurries off distraught. Does not this suggest anything to you?”

“Obviously, they quarreled.”

“But what about? Two people who have not seen each other for many years, as far as we know, can hardly, on such short notice, have much to quarrel about.”

“Unless there is a matter of long standing between them.”

“Capital! Capital, Parker,” said Pons, his eyes twinkling. “But what ancient disagreement could exist between uncle and niece?”

“A family estrangement?”

“There is always that possibility,” conceded Pons. “However, Miss Emily would hardly have come, in that case, unannounced and without an invitation to do so.”

“Perhaps, unknown to Davinson, she had been invited to come,” I said.

“Perhaps. I am inclined to doubt it. Miss Emily yielded to the impulse to confront her uncle to ask some favour of him. His failure to grant it angered her and she rushed off.”

“That is hardly consistent with the premeditation so evident in the careful preparation of a poisoned pastille,” I couldn’t help pointing out. As usual, it was superfluous.

“Granted, Parker, But there’s nothing to prevent such premeditation in the event that the favour she asked her uncle were not granted.”

“What could it have been that, failing its granting, only his death would serve her?” I protested. “If a matter of long standing, then, why not longer? No, Pons, it won’t wash, it won’t at all. I fear you have allowed your latent distrust of the sex to darken your view of Miss Emily Curwen.”

Pons burst into hearty laughter.

“Where are we bound for? Do you know?”

“Miss Emily lives in her father's house on Northumberland Street, in the New Town. I took time yesterday to ascertain this and other facts. She and her sister were the only children of Sir Randolph’s brother, Andrew. Her sister married unwisely, a man who squandered her considerable inheritance. Both the elder Lindalls are now dead, survived by an only son, Ronald, who is employed in a bookshop on Torphichen Street. But here we are, drawing into Edinburgh.”

Within the hour we stood on the stoop of the house on Northumberland Street. Pons rang the bell three times before the door was opened, only a little, and an inquiring face looked out at us there.

“Miss Emily Curwen?”

“Yes?”

“Mr. Solar Pons, of London, at your service. Dr. Parker and I have come about the matter of your uncle’s death.”

There was a moment of pungent silence. Then the door was opened wide, and Miss Curwen stood there, unmistakably shocked and surprised. “Uncle Randolph dead? I saw him within the month. The picture of health!” she cried. “But forgive me. Come in, gentlemen, do.”

Miss Emily led the way to the drawing room of the old-fashioned house, which was certainly at one time the abode of wealth. She was a woman approaching fifty, with a good figure still, and betraying some evidence in the care she had taken with her chestnut hair and her cosmetics of trying to retain as much of a youthful aspect as possible.

“Pray sit down,” she said. “Tell me of uncle’s death. What happened? Was it an accident?”

“Perhaps, in a manner of speaking, it was,” said Pons. “He was found dead in his study.”

“Poor uncle!” she cried, unaffectedly.

She seemed unable to fix her eyes on either Pons or myself. Her hands were busy plucking at her dress, or lacing her fingers together, or carrying her fingers to her lips.

“Perhaps you did not know he left you five hundred pounds?”

“No, I did not.” Then her eyes brightened quite suddenly. “Poor, dear uncle! He needn’t have done that. Now that he’s gone, I shall have it all! All!”

“Somewhat over a fortnight ago you called on your uncle, Miss Curwen.”

“Yes, I did.” She grinned.

“You found him well at that time?”

“I believe I have said as much, sir.”

“You left him upset. Was he unkind to you?”

“Sir, it was the old matter. Now it is resolved.”

“Would you care to tell us about it?”

“Oh, there’s no secret in it, I assure you. Everyone knows of it here in Edinburgh.” She tossed her head and shrugged, pitying herself briefly. “Uncle Randolph was as hard a man as my father. My older sister, Cicely, made a very bad marriage in our father’s eyes. He had settled her inheritance on her, and when he saw how Arthur wasted it, he made certain I could never do the same. So he put my inheritance, fifty thousand pounds, in trust, and made Uncle Randolph guardian of the trust. I could have only so much a year to live on, a pittance. But the world has changed, and everyone knows that it is not so easy to live on a restricted income as it was twenty-five years ago when my father died. But now all that’s over. Now that Uncle Randolph’s dead, what is mine comes to me free of his or anyone’s control.”

“You must have had assistance, Miss Curwen,” said Pons sympathetically.

“Oh, yes. My nephew, my dear boy! He’s all I have, gentlemen. He has cared for his old aunt quite as if I were his own mother. I’ve been very much alone here. What could I do, what society could I have, on so limited an income? Now all that is changed. I am sorry Uncle Randolph is dead, but I’m not sorry the restrictions on my inheritance are removed.”

Pons’ glance flickered about the room, which looked as if it had not quite emerged into the twentieth century. “A lovely room, Miss Curwen,” he observed.

“My grandfather planned it. I hate it,” she said simply. “I shall lose no time selling the house. Think of having fifty thousand pounds I might have had when I was in my twenties! Oh, Mr. Pons, how cruel it was! My father thought I’d do the same thing my sister did, even after I saw how it went with them.”

“I see you, too, are given to the use of incense, Miss Curwen,” said Pons, his gaze fastened to a china castle.

“Any scent will serve to diminish the mould and mildew, gentlemen.”

“May I look at that incense burner?” persisted Pons.

“Please do.”

Pons crossed to the mantel where the china castle rested, picked it up, and brought it back to his chair. It was an elaborate creation in bone china, featuring three lichen-covered turrets, and evidently three burners. Carnations adorned it, and a vine of green leaves, and morning glories. Its windows were outlined in soft brown.

“A Colebrook Dale marking on this Coalport castle identifies it as prior to 1850 origin,” said Pons.

Miss Curwen’s eyebrows went up. “You’re a collector, sir?”

“Only of life’s oddities,” said Pons. “But I have some interest in antiquities as well.” He looked up. “And what scent do you favour, Miss Curwen?”

“Rose.”

“One could have guessed that you would select so complimentary a fragrance, Miss Curwen.”

Miss Curwen blushed prettily as Pons got up to return the china castle to the mantel, where he stood for a few moments with the opened box of pastilles in his hand, inhaling deeply the scent that emanated from it. He appeared to have some difficulty closing the box before he turned once more and came back to where he had been sitting. He did not sit down again.

“I fear we have imposed upon you long enough, Miss Curwen,” said Pons.

Miss Emily came to her feet. “I suppose you will take care of such legalities as there are, gentlemen?”

“I fancy Sir Randolph’s legal representatives will do that in good time, Miss Curwen,” said Pons.

“Oh! I thought...”

“I am sorry to have given you the wrong impression. I am a private enquiry agent, Miss Curwen. There is some question about the manner of your uncle’s death; I am endeavouring to answer it.”

She was obviously perplexed. “Well, there’s nothing I can tell you about that. I know he was in what looked like perfect health when I last saw him.”

She did not seem to have the slightest suspicion of Pons’ objective. and walked us to the door, where she let us out. From the stoop, we could bear the chain being quietly slid back into place.

“I must hand it to you, Pons,” I said. “There’s motive for you.”

“Poor woman! I’ll wager she’s dancing around by herself in celebration now,” he said as we walked back down to the street. “There are pathetic people in this world to whom the possession of money is everything. They know little of life and nothing of how to live. Presumably Andrew Curwen was such a one; I fear Miss Emily may be another. One could live well on the income of fifty thousand pounds one had a mind to, but Miss Emily preferred to pine and grieve and feel sorry for herself, a lonely, deluded woman. I shall be sorry to add to her loneliness, but perhaps her wealth will assuage her. But come, Parker, we have little time to lose. We must be off to the police. With luck, we shall be able to catch one of the night trains back to London.”

Inspector Brian McGavick joined us when Pons explained his need. He was in plain-clothes, and looked considerably more like an actor than a member of the constabulary.

“I’ve heard about you, Mr. Pons,” said McGavick. “This morning, on instructions from the Foreign Office. I am at your service.”

“Inspector, you’re in charge here. I have no authority. I shall expect you to take whatever action the events of the next hour or two call for.” He outlined briefly the circumstances surrounding the murder of Sir Randolph Curwen. By the time he bad finished we had arrived in Torphichen Street.

“Let us just park the car over here,” said Pons, “and walk the rest of the way.”

We got out of the police car and walked leisurely down the street to a little shop that bore the sign, Laidlaw’s Books. There Pons turned in.

A stout little man clad almost formally, save for his plaid weskit, came hurrying up to wait on us.

“Just browsing, sir,” said Pons

The little man bowed and returned to resume his place on a stool at a high, old-fashioned desk in a far corner of the shop. The three of us began to examine the books in the stalls and on the shelves, following Pons lead. Pons soon settled down to a stall containing novels of Sir Walter Scott and Dickens, studying one volume after another with that annoying air of having the entire afternoon in which to do it.

In a quarter of an hour, the door of the shop opened to admit a handsome young man who walked directly back to the rear of the shop, removed his hat and ulster, and came briskly back to attend to us. Since Pons was nearest him, he walked directly up to Pons and engaged him in conversation I could not overhear until I drifted closer.

“There is merit in each,” Pons was saying. “Scott for his unparalleled reconstruction of Scotland’s past, Dickens for the remarkable range of characters, however much some of them may seem caricatures. I think of establishing special shelves for each when I open my own shop.”

“Ah, you’re a bookman, sir? Where?”

“In London. I lack only a partner.”

“I would like to be in London myself. What are your qualifications?”

“I need a young man, acquainted with books and authors, capable of putting a little capital into the business. Are you interested?”

“I might be.”

Pons thrust forth his hand. “Name’s Holmes,” he said.

“Lindall,” said the young man, taking his hand.

“Capital?” asked Pons.

“I expect to come into some.”

“When?”

“Within the next few months.”

“Ample time! Now tell me, Mr. Lindall, since I am in need of some other little service, do you know any chemistry? Ever studied it?”

“No sir.”

“I asked because I saw a chemist’s shop next door. Perhaps you have a friend there who might make up a special prescription for me?”

“As a matter of fact, I do have. A young man named Ardley. Ask for him and say I gave you his name.”

“Thank you, thank you. I am grateful. In delicate little matters like these, one cannot be too careful.”

Lindall’s interest quickened. He ran the tip of his tongue over his lips and asked, “What is the nature of the prescription, sir?”

Pons dipped his hand into his coat pocket, thrust it out before Lindall, and unfolded his fingers. “I need a little pastille like this — with cyanide at the centre, to dispose of old men and middle-aged ladies.”

Lindall’s reaction was extraordinary. He threw up his hands as if to thrust Pons away, stumbled backward, and upset a stall of books. Books and Lindall together went crashing to the floor.

“Oh, I say! I say now!” called out the proprietor, getting off his stool.

“Inspector McGavick, arrest this man for the murder of Sir Randolph Curwen, and the planned murder of his aunt, Miss Emily Curwen,” said Pons.

McGavick had already moved in on Lindall, and was pulling him to his feet.

“You will need this poisoned pastille, Inspector. I found it in a box of rose pastilles in Miss Emily’s home. You should have no difficulty proving that this and the one that killed Sir Randolph were manufactured for Lindall at his direction.” To Lindall, Pons added, “A pity you didn’t ask after my Christian name, Mr. Lindall. Sherlock. A name I assume on those special occasions when I feel inordinately modest.”

In our compartment on the 10.15 express for London Pons answered the questions with which I pelted him.

“It was an elementary matter, Parker,” he said, confused by the coincidence of Sir Randolph’s possession of the Foreign Office papers. The death trap had been laid for him well before anyone at all knew that he would see the papers in question. This motive eliminated, it became necessary to disclose another. Nobody appeared to dislike Sir Randolph, and it did not seem that any adequate motivation lay in the provisions of his will.

“We were left, then, with Miss Emily’s curious visit, angrily terminated. She went to London to appeal to her uncle for an end to the trust. She came back and complained to her nephew — her ‘dear boy’ who is ‘all’ she has — her designated heir, as an examination of her will certainly show. In a fortnight, familiarized with Sir Randolph’s habits by Miss Emily, he paid him a visit on his own, managed to slip the poisoned pastille into his box, and was off to bide his time. He had had two made, one for his aunt, and felt safe in slipping the other into her box of pastilles. He might better have waited, but he had not counted on the death of Sir Randolph being taken for anything but a seizure of some kind. He underestimated the police, I fear, and greed pushed him too fast. ‘The love of money, Parker,’ is indeed ‘the root of all evil.’ ”

The Chinless Wonder

by Stanley Abbott

’Tis a reasonably accurate prognostication that one who parades in false adornment may anticipate apprehension.

* * *

Walter Mills was twenty-five and fed up, “browned off” as he put it, with life and with Himself. Since he was seventeen, he Had worked in a solicitor’s office near Piccadilly, slowly working himself up from the high stool of a junior clerk to the desk of a bookkeeper.

For eight years he had carried out his routine work without complaint. but under the surface he burned with a sense of injustice. Rich clients left behind a tantalizing whiff of a rich cigar or an elegant perfume, and in his imagination they lived romantic and adventurous lives. He envied them, for he had never had a girl. He was convinced the secret was money. So for a couple of years he had been quietly embezzling small sums in such a way that it was impossible to detect.

One day he left the office at lunch time to buy a suit. It was really the suit that started it all, a smart Glen Urquhart check. If the salesman hadn’t been so insistent Walter Mills wouldn’t even have thought of trying it on; he had never worn anything but hard-wearing greys and blacks. But when he saw himself in the three-way mirror he was amazed at the difference it made. He hesitated when the salesman produced a smooth, olive green hat with a smartly shaped brim to go with it — he never wore a hat. He turned to look at himself and caught sight of his face in the side mirror. He looked away quickly, but the sharp-eyed salesman had noticed.

“Why, that suit makes a new man of you, sir,” he exclaimed with calculated amazement. Walter Mills had taken the lot. Self-satisfied, he didn’t go back to the office.

But when he put the check suit on in his garret room, high among the roofs overlooking the River Thames, and looked at himself in the cracked wardrobe mirror, his doubts returned. Timidity stared back at him with pale blue eyes. It was his chin, or rather the lack of it, that was the trouble; it just faded into his neck. He looked, as a callous Army sergeant had once said, like “a chinless wonder that couldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding.” The check suit couldn’t conceal that and he began to regret buying it. He couldn’t wear it to a job, and he didn’t go anywhere.

With only books for company, Walter spent each night in his room in the roof, lonely, bitter, and seething with dreams of the lovely women he saw in magazines or the pin-ups on his walls. He longed for something more than mere existence; but he had no friends. He knew his looks didn’t give him a chance.

At one time he had tried to grow a beard, but it had been a straggly failure. Thinking of it as he studdied himself in his smart new suit and hat, he wondered if he couldn’t get a beard such as actors wore.

He remembered there was a famous theatrical costumiers on Wardour Street. He said he was an actor, and whether they believed him or not, a beard was produced to match his colouring. He was shown how it attached with a self-adhesive; it could be put on or taken off at any time quite easily. When it had been trimmed short and given a smart naval cut, the effect when he looked in the mirror was almost unbelievable; the weak, timid-looking Walter Mills had disappeared.

As he walked down Piccadilly he imagined everybody was looking at him. But when he realized that no one was the slightest bit interested, he stared fascinated at his reflection in the shop windows. The set of his shoulders altered and he held his head higher. He decided to walk home along the Embankment beside the river. When he came to the Black Swan, a pub on the corner of Corson Street, where he lived, and which he’d never entered before, he went in without hesitation and ordered a drink.

It was pleasant sitting up at the bar with a bright fire in the grate. Through the window he could see the clock tower of Big Ben just lit up across the river. The barmaid came and leant her elbows on the counter in front of him. He’d heard people calling her Mabel. She was a country-looking girl with a high colour and fine brown eyes.

“Are you off a ship?” she asked softly.

“No, I live up the street here.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she smiled. “I hadn’t seen you here before; I took you for a naval man.”

He was delighted at this. “You’re not far wrong,” he lied. “I was in the merchant navy, but I’ve just moved here.”

“That’s the life for a man,” she said admiringly.

After he’d had another drink, Walter found himself shooting a line about the roaring forties and the head waters of the Amazon. It all came from books, for Walter Mills never had been any further than the Tower of London on a pleasure boat.

A couple at the bar joined in, and for more than an hour he kept them entertained. The girl wasn’t a patch on his pin-ups, and he guessed she was older than he was, but she had a nice complexion and soft dark hair.

“You made a hit with Noreen,” Mabel said when they had left.

“Was that her husband?” he asked.

Mabel gave a short laugh. “Curly? No, but he’d like to be. Noreen’s one of the lucky ones. Doesn’t have to work; she’s got money, enough not to worry about it.”

As he walked up the street to his lodgings he laughed to himself. How easily people were taken in. He was thinking of Noreen and wondering what her last name was, when it occurred to him that it would be a good idea if he had a new name. Walter Mills was too ordinary. He would like to be Captain somebody, but perhaps that was too risky. What about Marshall? That had something — Phillip Marshall.

Walter was mounting the steps to the front door when he saw his landlady coming up the area steps from the basement. It was dark and in the street light Mrs. Jones was looking at his suspiciously. In his new get-up he was obviously a stranger to her.

“Wot d’you want?” she called.

“I’m a friend of Mr. Mills,” he replied in a tone lower than his usual one. “Is he in, do you know?”

“ ’E’s never out so ’e must be in. Wot’s your name?”

It was ready on the tip of his tongue. “Marshall,” he replied.

“Well, ’e’s under the roof if you want to go up,” and with a sniff she turned away.

Up in his garret he smiled to himself as he took off the beard and rubbed his face. If he could fool Mrs. Jones, he could fool anybody. She wasn’t easily deceived.

To be a gentleman of leisure, to get up when he liked and do what he liked, was a new sensation for Walter Mills. With live hundred embezzled pounds in his savings account, he had no intention of getting a job till he had to. And it he had anything to do with it, he decided, he’d never have to. He had often dreamed of marrying a rich woman and lying around all day. Other people managed it. Why shouldn’t he? And if he couldn’t cut out Curly, there were plenty of fish in the sea besides Noreen.

But he found to his surprise that Mabel was right. Noreen Harper had fallen for him. Though he had to admit she wasn’t much compared to his dream girls, he could hardly credit his luck that he even had a girl, never mind once with a nice income and a smart-looking sports car.

He was soon taking her about to restaurants and fancy places in the West End that he wouldn’t have thought of going into before. Once when they were having a drink in the Black Swan, Curly came over and sat with them. Walter didn’t like the sharp way he dressed or the cold, hard-eyed look Curly gave him, and he was pleased when Noreen gave him the hint to push off.

Only one problem troubled him, his landlady. Whenever he went out dressed as Phillip Marshall, Walter had to creep down the stairs and slip out when he was certain Mrs. Jones was busy in the basement kitchen. Once he’d met her on the stairs and had hurried past saying he had been up to see Mr. Mills. He knew if she got wind of what he was doing, it would be all over the neighbourhood. They would hear of it at the Black Swan and that would put paid to his romance with Noreen. He didn’t dare risk that. He decided to move at night, when no once was about.

Walter found a room in a house on Maybury Street, which is two over from Corson Street, as he wanted to stay in the neighbourhood. He moved in as Phillip Marshall.

Because he liked rowing on the river, and also to impress Noreen, Walter bought a sailing dinghy at a boat club below the Embankment. It was second-hand and only cost twenty pounds. The boatman was giving him sailing lessons. It needed sanding down and varnishing.

One morning he was working on the boat when the tool slipped and cut his arm. Blood spurted over a canvas and the floorboards before he could stop it, but he managed to bind the cut with his handkerchief and ran up the steps to the Black Swan.

Noreen had just driven up and was going in. When she saw him she cried, “Oh, Phil, you poor thing; that needs bandaging properly. Here, jump in and I’ll take you up to my place.”

While Noreen was bandaging his arm her perfume, warm and inviting, surrounded him. Without realizing what he was doing, he bent down to kiss the nape of her neck beneath the soft dark curls. She turned her head at that moment and he found his lips on hers. The sensation overwhelmed him. He’d never kissed a girl before, but he soon found that didn’t matter.

It was late in the afternoon when he returned to the boatyard, elated and feeling very pleased with himself. There was still enough light and, as he wanted to get the boat in the water for the week-end, he went on working, thinking at the same time of Noreen. He’d wait a few days before asking her to marry him, he decided. After that he’d be on easy street. When he got fed up with her, as he already knew he would, he’d just have to get rid of her. There was always a way. Then he’d have lots of money and could look for one of his dream girls.

His thoughts were running riot when he heard footsteps coming down the wooden stairs to the yard. It was nearly dark but he could make out the thick-set figure of Curly as he came towards him.

“Doing all right, ain’t you, Phil?”

“Just finished,” he replied, looking down at the boat as he wiped his hands. “Put her in the water tomorrow.”

Curly’s large, hard hand shot out and caught him by the front of his shirt. “I’m not talking about boats, stupid. I’m talking about Noreen; doing all right, ain’t yer, Phil?”

Curly’s leering face was close to his and reeking of liquor.

Walter stammered, “I don’t know what...”

Curly reached up with his other hand and took hold of his beard. “How about it, Wally? Like me to rip this off and take you up to the Black Swan?”

Walter struggled to get out of Curly’s grip and tried to throw a foot to trip him, but Curly gave him a shake that rattled his teeth and nearly tore the beard off.

“Try that again,” Curly growled, “and I’ll stretch you. Wally Mills, the chinless wonder of Corson Street — who’d have thought it?” and he gave a low laugh. “Didn’t know I was on to you, did you, Wally? But I won’t let on, because you and me’s going to do a deal, see. Now listen; I got a load of stuff I don’t want round my place for the next two months or so. It’s hot, see, and you’re going to help me drop it in the river. You’ve got concrete mooring blocks with ropes and a float-can with a mooring ring on top, ain’t you?”

Wally nodded and Curly let go of him and took out a pack of cigarettes. When they had lit up, Wally asked, “Is... is there much of this stuff?”

Curly looked at him. “One sack — and it’s heavy.”

Wally had read of big robberies and saw a sack full of gold and silver candlesticks and plate. “I mean — what sort of stuff is it?”

“The less you know the better for you. What d’you think I am — stupid? It’s all wrapped up good and solid, so the water won’t get at it. My car’s backed up to the top of the steps, so let’s go.”

Wally hesitated and Curly came close to him.

“Would you like to go up to the Swan and have me rip that beard off in front of ’em all?”

Wally had been thinking about it and wondering if it wouldn’t be better just to take it off and be clear of the whole business. Life had been much simpler when he had been sitting on a high stool. But then he thought of how little money he had left, and of Noreen and how close he was to it. He knew Curly wouldn’t let on to anyone now he had something on him.

When the job was done, and Curly had helped him pull the boat up into the yard, they went up the stairs together.

“Don’t go getting any ideas about that stuff, Wally.” Curly said. “Two months from now, when everything’s nice and quiet again, you and me’s going to haul it up, and if it’s been touched you’ll finish up down there in place of it.”

Under the street lamp in front of the Black Swan, Curly stopped and looked at him. “Who’d have thought it? Wally the Beard,” he said, and gave him a playful jab to the mid-section that nearly doubled him up. Laughing, he vanished into the night.

It was a long time before Phillip Marshall could get to sleep that night and he awoke late, feeling tired and irritable. He decided he’d walk round to Noreen’s and take her out to lunch somewhere. After he’d dressed in his smart clothes and put on his beard he felt better. He was coming down the front steps when he saw Mrs. Jones, his sharp-eyed old landlady from Corson Street. He was hoping she wouldn’t recognize him and pretend not to see her, but she came right up to him.

“Aren’t you Mr. Marshall, Walter Mills’ friend? You visited him.”

He muttered something about having to catch a bus and hurried on, but not before Mrs. Jones had noticed he was wearing a belted raincoat belonging to Walter Mills. She was sure of it because she’d repaired the belt herself.

Wise in the way of lodgers, she wondered if perhaps Walter Mills was sharing a room here with Mr. Marshall, and if this wasn’t a good opportunity to get the rent that was owing to her when he left so suddenly. She rang the bell and spoke to Phillip Marshall’s landlady, and in no time the two of them were up in Phillip Marshall’s room indulging the favourite pastime of London landladies. Mrs. Jones immediately recognized all Walter Mills’ things.

“And look at this” she cried when they turned up a Savings Bank book showing he had had live hundred pounds but had drawn most of it out in the last few weeks.

When they found a canvas hold-all with reddish brown stains on it, that was enough for Mrs. Jones; she didn’t read the Police Court Gazette for nothing; in her vocabulary, stains went with only one other word — blood. She went to the police.

When he got back to his lodgings late in the afternoon, Phillip Marshall’s landlady met him in the hall with the news that a couple of plainclothesmen were waiting up in his room. “And I’ll trouble you to pack and get out. I keep a respectable house,” she told him.

Well, this is it, he thought. He wondered what the sentence was for embezzling funds. It had been a bad day from start to finish. Noreen hadn’t been at home; the place had seemed deserted. And when he had asked Mabel at the Black Swan if she’d been in, Mabel told him Noreen had sent a message by Curly that she’d had to go to Brighton for a few days to look after a sister who was sick.

But why Curly? That’s what he couldn’t understand. Mabel said he’d come in with the message about ten-thirty the night before, just about two hours after he had left Curly in the street.

Wally wondered if he should lust walk out the door and away from it all, when a voice called down the stairwell.

“Mr. Marshall, will you come up here, please?”

The man introduced himself. “I’m Inspector Marples and this is my assistant, Detective Sergeant Atkins.”

While the Inspector told him they were looking into the disappearance of Walter Mills, and would like to know why he had Walter Mills’ things, Phillip Marshall could hardly keep from laughing, in fact, it was such a relief that he felt slightly hysterical.

“That’s easily explained,” he said. “Wally went up north to get a job when he left Mrs. Jones’. He asked me to look after his stuff. Said he’d let me know when he got settled, and I could send it on to him.”

After more questions, the Inspector produced the canvas holdall. “And perhaps you could explain these stains, Mr. Marshall?”

“That’s blood. I cut myself — see,” and he rolled up a sleeve to show them.

“You are telling us this is your blood on Walter Mills’ bag, Mr. Marshall?” the Inspector asked quietly.

“That’s right. I cut myself working on my boat and it got on the bag,” he said brightly.

“So, you have a boat,” he said softly.

“Yes, it’s at Bunton’s yard, just at the bottom of the street.”

The Inspector and the Sergeant exchanged looks. “I think we had better see this boat,” the Inspector said.

Down in the yard they stood around looking at Phillip Marshall’s boat, while he lit a cigarette and thought what clunks these coppers are.

“It’s just been painted and varnished, sir,” said the Sergeant.

“It may seem strange, but I had noticed that, Sergeant.”

Sergeant Atkins was bent over, pulling at something. He straightened up with a section of the floorboards in his hand.

“Look at this, sir,” he pointed to some stains faintly visible on the surface of the wood.

“I was wondering about that, Sergeant,” said the Inspector, “but you failed to notice something very interesting; the wood is unvarnished.”

“You don’t varnish floorboards,” Phillip said.

“I’m not interested in that,” the Inspector said sharply. “Can you explain these stains?”

“Blood,” Phillip said impatiently. “I told you I cut myself and it went on the bag and the boards.”

“This wood shows evidence of a determined attempt to get rid of the stains; it’s been scoured, I should say...”

“With bleach,” Phillip cut in.

“Why did you want to get rid of the stains, Mr. Marshall?” the Inspector asked quietly.

Phillip gave a laugh. “Why? Because I didn’t want blood all over the boat.”

Inspector Marples stared out over the depressingly misty vista of the Thames. He could see signs of any sort of a case slipping away and was turning to go when he asked casually, “Do you always keep your boat up here?”

“Yes, but I’ve got moorings now and I’ll...” Phillip’s voice trailed off as he realized where it was leading. But Inspector Marples was leaning forward like a long, thin bird.

“You were saying, Mr. Marshall, that you have moorings.” He looked over the river at the boats tied up and then at the two float-cans some distance out. “Would those be they, Mr. Marshall?” he asked, pointing.

“Yes, but as I said, I haven’t used them yet.”

The Inspector gave a shrug as though it were of no importance. But as he turned to Sergeant Atkins, Walter had a feeling he was back on the scent.

“We’ll take the floorboard and the bag, Sergeant, and get the lab to run an analysis on them. Keep yourself available, Mr. Marshall. We’ll be back here in the morning.”

As he walked home, Phillip s first inclination was to take off. But they would soon catch up with him, he decided, and then it would be worse. Also, there was a chance that Inspector Marples might give up on the case, and then he wouldn’t have to disclose that he was Walter Mills. If the worst came to the worst and he had to tell them who he was, then he’d have to pick the moment before things went too far and they found out about Curly’s load at the bottom of the river. If there was one thing that scared him even more than Noreen and everyone at the Black Swan finding out about him, it was what Curly would do if the coppers dragged up that sack full of stuff.

Walter was in the boat-yard early next morning and hung around for more than an hour waiting for the sound of footsteps on the wooden stairs leading down from the Embankmen, when a River Police launch roared m towards the wooden jetty. Inspector Atkins jumped down and the launch turned away up river.

“I think we’d better find somewhere to talk, Mr. Marshall,” the Inspector said. So he led the way to the boathouse, and after he’d shut the door and sat down, the Inspector came straight to the point.

“Our lab report shows that the blood stains on the canvas holdall and the floorboard check out the same as those on the Army records of Walter Mills. That was a deliberate attempt on your part, Mr. Marshall, to mislead the police. And your story about being in the Merchant Navy has checked out as equally false.”

This is it, Phillip thought, as the Inspector paused to light a cigarette. There’s no way out of it I’ll have to tell them.

“You can make it easier for yourself and for us, but especially for yourself, if you’re frank and tell us the truth,” the Inspector said, giving him a thin smile. “Maybe it was an accident that killed Walter Mills and you’re afraid to say so. If you’re not frank with us, Mr. Marshall, I must warn you I shall apply for a warrant for your arrest on the evidence available and charge you with the murder of Walter Mills.”

Thoroughly satisfied with himself, the Inspector sat back. In his experience, if there was anything that scared a man into talking it was the threat of arrest.

Sighing audibly, Phillip reached up and slowly peeled the beard from his face. “I am Walter Mills,” he said quietly.

A profound silence settled on the boat-house. It didn’t last for long. Inspector Marples seemed to explode upwards, and for nearly ten minutes remained almost completely incoherent at the thought that he was arresting a man for murdering himself.

When the Inspector had calmed down sufficiently, Walter Mills told them why he had done it. He spoke eloquently of his love for Noreen Harper, and he appealed to the Inspector’s better nature not to let his little masquerade become generally known as this would most surely result in the loss of his fiancée. Walter Mills was smiling to himself as he laid it on as thick as he could.

But Inspector Marples had no better nature left; a beautiful case had dissolved from under his very nose. Jumping to his feet, he shouted, “This is the most outrageous example of a public mischief I have ever encountered. And if you think you’re just going to walk out of here free, you’re greatly mistaken,” he roared. “I’m going to charge you with a public mischief, impersonation, and anything and everything I can think of.” He dropped back in his chair, breathless, and stared unbelievingly at the unhappy, chinless face in front of him. “Get out,” he shouted suddenly, “get out or I’ll kill you with my bare hands.”

Walter Mills got to his feet hesitatingly. He had turned towards the door when it burst open, as one of the flat-hatted River Police charged in.

“We’ve got the body, sir,” he shouted excitedly.

Inspector Marples got slowly to his feet. I must keep calm, he told himself. At all costs, I must keep calm.

“Sergeant,” he said wearily, “this is Waiter Mills. Take whatever you’ve got and begone.”

“I didn’t say it was the body of Walter Mills, sir. It’s...” Before he could say any more he was knocked to one side as two more flat-hats pushed in, carrying between them a dripping sack. They dropped it with a thud that shook the boathouse.

“Harper’s the name sir, one of the flat-hats said,” handing Inspector Marples a sodden leather wallet. “It was sunk with the mooring blocks, just as you said, sir.”

The Inspector stared at him in amazement, then at the wallet. “Harper?” he echoed, looking at Walter Mills, who had shrunk back against a wall.

Slowly a little smile dawned on Inspector Marples’ long, thin face. “Weren’t you just telling us of your great love for Noreen Harper?”

But Walter Mills’ eyes were fixed in horror on two of the sergeants who were tugging at one end of the sack. It came away slowly, letting the body flop to the floor. He forced himself to look at it. It didn’t look like Noreen. Dank black hair lay plastered across the forehead of a sallow face. Then he saw that the body was dressed in a man’s suit.

“Noreen Harper’s husband, eh?” said Inspector Marples. “I might have guessed it.”

“I... I didn’t know there was a husband,” Walter Mills stammered.

“Isn’t that what they always say, Sergeant?” Inspector Marples said to his assistant.

“Always, sir. Never fails.”

Walter Mills was staring at the dead man and thinking of Noreen. Curly and Noreen, probably at the other side of he world by now, not that it mattered. Nothing mattered now.

“I never knew him,” he said in a tired voice.

“Save it,” Inspector Marples cut in. “Save it for the Old Bailey.”

But Walter Mills didn’t hear him, for there was a singing in his ears, as he stood with the smartly cut beard clutched tightly in his hand.

Chain Smoker

by Arthur Porges

At that point when physical achievement is attained, one ordinarily feels replete, but under extraordinary circumstances, one might pursue an anticlimax for emotional satiation.

* * *

If you want the pure, bracing air, the privacy, and the unspoiled coast of California Highway 1, there is, as with all good things, a price to be paid But Rex Morland thought the price a cheap one. True, he had to drive thirty miles, round trip, to Seaview, the nearest town; and he couldn’t get the electric company to bring him power; but the big tank of butane ten yards from his door kept not only a freezer and stove going, but also a fine brute of a generator. And since he made his living as a writer, his home was his office, where over the top of his typewriter he could see the thunderous surf battering the rocky shore ninety feet below.

Sometimes friends from Los Angeles or San Francisco, observing his isolation, and the steep, winding road that led from the highway to his house, itself quite hidden from above, would remark, “Isn’t your wife afraid to live in such a lonely place? What if some criminal broke in at night, or something?”

Morland found this amusing. “It’s the city jungles that are dangerous,” he often reminded them. “Out here, there are nothing but raccoons, foxes, deer, and bobcats. Maybe a few rattlers, but no animal is as deadly as one of your big city delinquents, believe me!”

He honestly believed this himself; and it was true, in general; but what happens when evil from the city turns the isolation to its own advantage?

The ordeal began towards dusk of a fine August day. Morland’s wife and his sixteen-year-old daughter, Kathy, were inside the house; he could hear them giggling over the dinner dishes, a sound that warmed his heart. He had gone out to take a reading on the big butane tank that kept the house livable. He knew he was childishly compulsive about this; the thing had been filled to capacity only six days earlier, but he had a foolish dread of finding himself without light, heat, or cooking facilities on some weekend, with the service company twenty-odd miles away, and closed until Monday. He also enjoyed checking; the serviceman had shown him how, and the operation fascinated him. You turned one indicator to the 100 % mark, opened a valve, and then brought the first metal finger clockwise until the stream of escaping gas changed to a liquid spray. This evening it did so at the 73 % mark, which meant that the tank was over three-quarters full. Not for the first time, his hand grazed the rushing flow of liquid and was badly stung; for the stuff, expanding as it blew free, became extremely cold No doubt it could freeze a finger solid in a few seconds.

He gave a grunt of satisfaction to learn that so much of the gas remained, and stood up, turning towards the house. There was a stealthy footstep behind him; he whirled, startled, and almost bumped his nose on the gun muzzle. It was quickly withdrawn, however; the skinny youth who held it was taking no chance of its being grabbed.

“Who’s inside?” the boy demanded in a hoarse whisper.

“Wha-what do you want?” Morland gulped, instead of answering him. “You can’t be Kessler. He was picked up, at least—”

The boy laughed, a nickering sound without mirth. “Wanna bet? No hick sheriff can hold me.”

“What happened?” Morland asked, not so much caring as playing for time. He had to get his bearings. The radio had reported earlier that Fred Kessler, pyschopathic killer on the loose from Santa Cruz, had been captured near Seaview by a deputy sheriff.

“Since you ask so polite-like, I’ll tell you,” the boy said, still watching the lighted windows of the house. “I always carry a hide-out gun, where, I ain’t telling. Nobody knows, because after I use it, they can’t talk. The sheriff won’t talk, either. I took his car, his gun, and even his cuffs, see?” He pulled them from his pocket with his free left hand, dangling them in front of Morland. “Then I headed south, towards San Luis; but I knew they’d get roadblocks up fast. So when I saw your box on the highway, I investigated. You’re almost lost down here; can’t even see the place from up there. I ditched the car in a gulley where they won’t find it for days, and I’ll stay with you folks for a while, until the fuzz gets tired of this stretch. They’ll never figure I’m on foot, see? Now—” his voice became urgent, almost savage, “who’s inside there?”

“Just my wife and daughter.”

“Dames, huh? Good; I can handle them.”

“You can’t stay here,” Morland blurted, desperation in his cry.

“Wanna bet. If you all behave, nobody’ll be hurt.”

“How long?”

“How the hell do I know? You ask too many questions, Pop.”

“But when you leave...” Morland didn’t dare press that point. He didn’t have to.

“When I leave, you’ll howl copper; sure. Only you won’t, because I’ll have one of them,” he waved the gun muzzle towards the house, “with me. We’ve yakked enough,” he added. “I could use some food, and this wind is chilly.”

Resignedly. Morland took one step toward the house, but the boy blocked his path with a tigerish move, gun steady.

“Not you, Mac; I don’t need you in there; I can handle them better alone. Three’s too many to watch.”

The heavy police revolver was pointing directly at Morland’s chest, and for a moment he knew that the boy was ready to pull the trigger. Then the muzzle drooped, and Morland felt some of the ice leave his middle. He guessed the killer was afraid a shot might be heard; it was lucky he didn’t realize how isolated this place really was. A cannon could go off here every five minutes and nobody would even notice it, especially with the surf beginning its evening thunder against the rocks below.

“What the hell,” the boy muttered. “Might as well use these.” He pulled out the cuffs again, peered at the butane tank, and snapped, “You were born lucky, Pop; some have it; some don’t. Scrounge down by that pipe, quick like a bunny.”

His pale eyes were glowing, and Morland knew it was no time to argue or delay. He crouched by the big cylinder, and held his tongue. The boy unlocked the cuffs, tossed them to Morland, and said, “One on that thick pipe; one on your wrist; I’m watching real close, and I know the right sound; I got reason to know.”

Morland could believe that. It was getting quite dark now, but there was enough light from the house to make any fudging risky. He’d be no use to his family dead or with a cracked head; and a sick feeling in his stomach told him they might need help very badly soon. This punk had murdered five people in Santa Cruz, and had an earlier record involving crimes as unpleasant, if less permanent, in their effects on the victims. And Kathy was only sixteen, and too pretty; right now, Morland wished she were fat and raucous like her chum, Selma.

The cuffs clicked home; Kessler came close, gun ready, and checked them.

“Guess you’ll stay put,” he said, and turned toward the house. “Don’t try any yelling,” he added coldly. “It’ll cost them.”

Morland winced. This punk was good at the kind of psychology he needed in his business. Then he groaned as the front door opened, and Julie stood there.

“Rex,” she called, “you’re taking a long time with that tank. How can you even see in this light?”

In a few quick, feline bounds Kessler landed in front of her. “Inside,” he ordered. “Quick like a bunny.”

“Where’s my husband?” Julie demanded, standing there like a rock.

“Do as he says!” Morland yelled; “I’m all right. Please, Julie, he means business. Do exactly as he says, and you’ll be all right.” He wished he could believe it himself; but in any case, it was the only thing to tell her.

She caught on quickly; Julie was always bright; and went into the house. The door closed behind her. By standing half upright in a terribly cramped position, Morland could watch through the living-room window. Without wasting a moment, Kessler had zeroed in on the phone. Morland hoped he’d be dumb enough to tear it out, which might bring a repair man (what good would that do? he asked himself a second later) but the boy was too wise; he just sat near it, on the sofa.

By straining his ears over the surf, Morland could catch some of the conversation through the open windows. Kessler was demanding food, and the two women were getting some ready. Good, until he was fed, the danger was diminished; but Rex didn’t like the way the boy was already watching Kathy; damn those toreador pants of hers — she ought to be wearing a flour-sack, a dirty, wrinkled, tom one.

It was time for action, not wishful thinking. He examined the cuffs, first by the feeble light reaching him from the house, and then, very cautiously, by the flame of his lighter. They were thick and heavy, but old-fashioned, he guessed, from the look of them. He wasted fifteen minutes trying to pick the locks with odds and ends from his pockets, but old or not, they weren’t that easy. Then he pounded metal with a variety of rocks, but didn’t dare make too much noise. The rocks crumbled, but the steel only got shiny where it was battered.

He rose and watched the house again. They were serving the food now, and the boy seemed almost as anxious to smoke as to eat. Clearly, he had been starved for cigarettes, and was something of a chain-smoker.

“You dames can cook, all right,” Morland heard him say, as he wolfed the warmed-over roast lamb of their dinner. “Kathy won’t have no trouble getting a man, not a bit. Good cook, and good looks; not every broad can wear them pants,” he added, eyes smouldering.

Morland didn’t like the trend of that conversation one little bit. He had to get free; get help; do something; had to. Once that killer was full of food, he’d be ripe for mischief, and Morland was afraid; more scared than ever in his life before, and not for himself.

He yanked at the cuffs in a frenzy that was nearly hysterical, and regained control by a concentrated effort of will. Use your brains! he told himself; don’t panic; not now. Use that writer’s imagination, if you ever did believe in it.

All right; I’m calm now. What can I do; what have I got to work with? Nothing in my pockets; I’ve tried that angle. And I can’t move very far tied to this tank. He tensed then. The tank! Surely there was an angle. What angle? Fire! He could open the main valve, use his lighter, send a column of flame up. His elation died. Idiot! Before any help came, Julie and Catherine might be dead. And even if Kessler panicked and ran, leaving them unharmed, this whole hill would catch fire; the house would go; the flames would surge through the dry bush; the women might not make it to the highway even if they didn’t stop for him, which they would; imagine Julie and Kathy leaving him to burn! If only the cuffs were off, then there were really angles. They wouldn’t burn off, not without ruining his hands too.

Suddenly he remembered the cold rush of liquifying gas. Cold was useful, too. It made metal brittle; he’d used that gimmick in a story once. What an idiot not to think of it sooner, now that it counted.

Hastily he fumbled with the small valve, opening it wide, and turning the indicator until the stream was at its chilliest. Then he directed the flow against the middle of the cuffs, watching the steel grow a coating of frost. He let the process continue for several minutes, then shut off the gas, and used all his strength to bring leverage against the frozen metal by wedging the cuffs between the heavy pipe and the side of the tank. With modern steel it might not have worked; with this, success came with almost ridiculous ease. The metal snapped, and he was free.

Morland sprang to his feet, swaying a little from the pull of cramped muscles. He approached the house very catiously, careful not to break a single twig. What he saw through the window almost drove him wild with fury. Kessler had Kathy on his lap. Julie, her face grey and years older, watched in helpless horror. As for the girl, she seemed like an automation worked by wires.

There was an axe among the garden tools. In three strides Morland reached and seized the thing. He’d crash in there and chop the punk to bits; he’d splatter him all over the room; he’d — damned if he would! It was crazy, foolish stuff again. The boy would shoot him dead, and that would be the end for all of them. No; instead lure Kessler out here. But he wouldn’t come; Morland knew that. The boy would merely say, “Come in with your hands up, or I’ll fix the women,” or words to that effect. And Morland would have no choice. That still wasn’t the answer. He had to get him outside without making him suspicious. But how?

Then he had it. The generator. Shut that off, and the lights would go out. Kessler would ask the women, find out about the generator in its little shack, and come out to fix it. Then Morland would be waiting with the axe.

Hurriedly, he went to the shack, but once there, he hesitated, trying to figure all the angles. Would it be better to go up to the highway for help? There wasn’t time; it would take ten minutes to get there, and traffic was light on a week night. Lord knows how soon he’d find help; and the women would still be hostages. No, this was the only way.

It was the work of moments to pull the cut-off switch and stop the full-throated hum of the generator. The lights grew dim in the house, then died out. Morland, axe in hand, waited at the locked door.

He heard Kessler questioning the women. Then the boy said, “I don’t like this; I smell trouble. Know what? I think your daddy got loose, Kathy, honey. He’d like to sucker me out there in the dark. But I ain’t no sucker; people are learning that. I want a flashlight; gonna do me some shooting.”

The women were reluctant to help him, but after Kathy gave a little squeal of pain, Mrs. Morland knew it was hopeless, and gave Kessler what he wanted. The boy locked them in the windowless dressing-room, and flash in hand, came to the side door. This was bad; Morland knew he couldn’t lay for Kessler there; he would be seen first, and shot. The whole plan was coming apart at the seams.

Quickly, his brain feverishly active, Morland scuttled back to the generator house. But the way Kessler was waving that flash, it was impossible to ambush him. He came along, all too cautiously, quite sure of himself, even puffing a cigarette. Morland had no doubt the boy could use that gun; the way he held it was a clear indication of that.

Morland played for time. He grabbed a rock and flipped it far to the left of Kessler. The flash flickered that way, and the killer drifted over for a look. That gave Morland a chance to get to the butane tank. With a few quick twists he shut off the main valve on top; no gas could get to the generator now. Then, before Kessler got near the shack, Morland ducked in and opened the gas valve of the generator. Nothing came out, of course, the main valve being closed. Just in time, he slipped out and returned to the tank, crouching behind it in the dark.

Kessler warily entered the shack, put the flash on a shelf so that it lit up the generator, and prepared to get the thing going again. From his place by the tank Morland could see Kessler locate the switch and jiggle it. Now was the moment, as the boy bent close to the generator, puzzled by the lack of response to the switch, cigarette-end glowing as he puffed nervously.

Morland opened the tank’s master valve wide. There was a hissing roar in the little shack as butane surged from the generator’s open petcock; and almost simultaneously a whoomp of igniting gas as the flammable stuff, pouring out in heavy concentration encountered the glowing cigarette. The screaming was a sort of anticlimax.

By shutting off the main valve in a hurry, and the use of a fire extinguisher from the house, Morland managed to save most of the shack, as well as the generator. There was little he could do for Kessler, although he honestly tried. After he had comforted the two women, who were verging on hysteria, he ventured on a feeble joke.

“Damn it, we’ll be out of butane again, and the thing was just filled!”

A Good Friend

by Richard Deming

One is taught, from childhood, to have patient confidence in ultimate justice, but on occasion that patience may wear dangerously thin.

* * *

The police never even questioned me, because I had no apparent motive. I think Evelyn suspects, but she can hardly bring the matter up without disclosing that she’s aware of the motive. We get along better by neither of us ever mentioning the matter, because bringing it all out in the open would inevitably involve confessions on both sides.

If it ever upsets her to speculate that my reaction might well have been to turn on her instead of doing what I did, she gives no indication of it. I guess she knows I love her, and is content to let sleeping dogs lie.

It all began the night I was initiated into the Elks.

In the ten years we had graduated from high school together, I hadn’t run into Tom Slider more than a dozen times, but I still regarded him as a friend. So when I discovered he was also an Elk, I was pleased.

We had been pretty close buddies in high school, even though Tom did a few things of which I couldn’t approve. He was always such an angle shooter.

Take the day the senior boys held a meeting in the school auditorium to vote on what to wear at graduation and where to buy it, for instance. The vote was for dark suits, all of the same cut and style, and it was decided to order them all from Boyd’s Clothing Store, downtown.

Tom slipped out of the auditorium as soon as the vote passed. Later I learned he had rushed down to Boyd’s and made a deal to receive a free suit if he could swing the Claremont High graduating class there.

He was always doing things such as that, never anything which might land him in jail, but just a shade unethical. Whenever I fussed at him about it, he would just laugh and tell me he wasn’t crooked; he was just opportunistic.

The night I was initiated into the Elks, as soon as the meeting adjourned, the members present all crowded over to where we new inductees were standing in a self-conscious row to shake our hands and congratulate us. Suddenly I felt a whack between the shoulder blades, turned around and found Tom Slider grinning at me.

“Tom!” I said, gripping his hand. “Are you an Elk?”

“I’m even a past exalted ruler,” he said. “Congratulations, Brother Morgan. I’ll pop for a drink.”

We went downstairs to the bar and had several. I didn’t get to talk to Tom much, because brothers who had missed me upstairs kept coming over to introduce themselves and congratulate me. I did learn that he was still a bachelor, though, and was currently between jobs. He said he had shucked his travelling job because of a disagreement with his district sales manager. He had a couple of possible jobs lined up, he told me, but he wasn’t in any hurry to get situated because he had a few bills stacked away to tide him over. He said he planned to wait until exactly what he wanted came along.

Knowing Tom’s tendency to shoot angles, I wondered if his “disagreement” with his district sales manager had been over something such as padded expense accounts or failure to turn in all his collections.

When the bar closed at one a.m., we drifted outdoors together and stood talking for a few minutes in front of the club.

Tom said, “Now that you’re a brother Elk, Sid, we’ll have to get together more often. You’re tied down with a wife, though, aren’t you?”

“I’m married, but I wouldn’t call it tied down. I’m allowed out with the boys.”

“Oh, sure,” he said with a disbelieving grin. “All you married guys claim that. I forget who you married, but I remember it was somebody I knew. It must be two years since we ran into each other, and you hadn’t been married long then.”

“Evelyn Cross,” I said.

“Oh, yeah, that cute little redhead who was a couple of years behind us in school. We used to call her Red Cross. Is she still as much of a doll?”

“Even prettier,” I told him. “How come you never married, Tom?”

He flashed his white teeth in a smile. “I like variety.”

“I got that out of my system long ago. It’s pretty nice to have someone waiting when you come home.”

“Fiddle flap,” he said. “I’ll take bachelor freedom. You coming to next week’s meeting?”

“I planned to. There’s a stag party afterward, isn’t there?”

He snapped his fingers. “I’d forgotten that. You won’t want to miss it. You play poker or shoot craps?”

“If it’s not too steep.”

“We may as well come together,” he said. “I’ll stop by to pick you up. Where are you living?”

I took out one of my insurance agency cards and handed it to him. “My home and business addresses are the same,” I said. “I use an extra bedroom as my office.”

Glancing at the card, he stuck if into his pocket and pulled out one of his own. By the light of a street lamp he wrote an address and phone number on the back.

“Pay no attention to the business address and phone on the front,” he said as he handed me the card. “I’m not there any more. If your wife balks at letting you go to a stag, give me a ring during the week. Otherwise, I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty next Wednesday.”

“I’m not henpecked,” I said a bit testily. “Just be there.”

When I got home, Evelyn was in bed but still awake. As I eased open the bedroom door, she said, “You can turn on the light honey.”

I switched on the light and began to undress, thinking of Tom.

“How’d it go?” she asked.

“Fine. Guess who’s a brother Elk?”

“Who?”

“Tom Slider.”

Her eyebrows raised. “The Tom Slider who used to be a full-back at Claremont High?”

“Uh-huh.”

She sat up in bed. “Is he still as handsome as he used to be?”

I paused in the act of hanging up my suit to glance at her over my shoulder. “I guess, but that’s a kind of tunny question to ask. You trying to make me jealous?”

Evelyn giggled. “You should be, because I used to have a mad crush on him. Is he married?”

“No,” I said shortly. “Nor employed either. You would have to live on love if you’re contemplating a switch in husbands.”

“Don’t be an old bear,” she said. “I was only fifteen when I had my crush, and as a noble senior he was above even looking at fifteen-year-old sophomores. You weren’t looking my way either back then.”

“I’ve grown more possessive in my old age,” I told her. “You knew me too back then, but I don’t recall you ever mentioning having a crush on me.”

“I’ve got a crush on you now, haven’t I? Isn’t that better?”

Looking at it that way, I decided it was. I wasn’t really jealous anyway, because I’m not the jealous type. I do incline to be possessive, but that’s not the same thing. I don’t go around frowning suspiciously every time Evelyn smiles at another man, but if I ever thought there was a chance of losing her, I would fight like a tiger. I think she understands exactly how I feel, and I think it pleases her. Jealous husbands make women feel hemmed in, but they like to know they’re wanted.

I put on my pyjamas, switched out the light, and climbed into bed.

The following Wednesday Tom Slider showed up at seven-fifteen instead of seven-thirty. I was in the bathroom knotting my tie, so Evelyn answered the door. When I entered the front room, he was seated on the sofa with a can of beer in his hand and Evelyn was seated next to him.

“Hi, Sid,” he said. “Your wife said you weren’t ready yet and forced a beer on me.”

“There’s no hurry,” I said. “The meeting doesn’t start until eight.”

“You want a beer, honey?” Evelyn asked.

I shook my head. “There’ll be enough to drink at the stag party. I’ll wait.”

I took a chair across from the sofa. Evelyn smiled at Tom.

“You haven’t changed much,” she said. “You’re still as lean and hard as you were in high school.”

“You’re still as slim and soft,” he said gallantly. “If I’d known you were looking for a husband, I’d have beat Sid to the punch.”

When Evelyn blushed like a schoolgirl, I demonstrated my lack of jealousy by saying with a smile, “You would probably have won out. She had a mad crush on you when she was fifteen.”

Tom cocked an eyebrow in her direction and Evelyn’s blush deepened. “That was supposed to be a joke, blabbermouth,” she said to me. “You just wait and see if I ever tell you another secret.”

“Well, well,” Tom said with a mock leer. “I wish I’d known before Sid got to you.”

“Cut it out,” Evelyn said. “You’re not even the marrying type, or you would have been hooked long ago. Sid tells me you’re still single. You still live at home?”

He shook his head. “The folks complained too much about my hours. I have a bachelor apartment over on Sutton Place.”

“Then I don’t suppose you get many home-cooked meals. You’ll have to come to dinner some night.”

“Sure,” he said. “Just name it.”

“We’d better get going,” I put in. “How about knocking off that beer so we can get started soon?”

He tilted the can, drained it, and set it down. We both stood up.

“Thanks for the beer, Red,” Tom said. “I’ll bring your husband home relatively sober.”

“If you’re going to pick Sid up again next Wednesday, you could come to dinner then,” Evelyn said. “We eat at six.”

“It’s a date,” he said, then glanced at me and added, “If it’s all right with Sid.”

“I don’t do the cooking,” I told him. “Of course you’re welcome.”

Evelyn came over to the door to offer me her cheek for a goodbye kiss.

“What time will you be home?” she asked.

Torn said, “Don’t expect him before one-thirty. The stag won’t break up until one.”

Tom was driving a new car. It was parked headed in the right direction for the Elks Club, but he made a U-turn.

“Where you going?” I asked.

“Gas. The station where I trade is back this way.”

The gas station was about four blocks back and over on Main. When we pulled into it, no other cars were there and the lone attendant had a car on the grease rack. The man started to set down his grease gun, but Tom waved him back to his work.

“I’ll get it myself, Larry,” he called.

“Okay, Tom,” the attendant called back. “Thanks.”

He moved back under the raised car with his grease gun as Tom climbed from his car and unscrewed the gas cap. Turning to watch the attendant over his shoulder, Tom lifted the nozzle from the high test pump and started to run gas into the tank. He kept his gaze fixed on the attendant, who never once glanced our way, until the pump guages registered ten gallons and $3.60.

He hung up the hose, flipped the lever to send the gauges back to zero, then lifted the nozzle of the regular grade pump and shoved it into the gas tank. No longer bothering to keep his eye on the attendant, he ran in five gallons, hung up the hose, but this time didn’t flip the lever to clear the gauges.

After spraying and wiping the windshield and checking under the hood, Tom called, “Okay, Larry. Want some money?”

The attendant set down his grease gun, wiped his hands on some waste and came over.

Glancing at the pump gauges, Larry said, “A dollar sixty.”

“Plus sixty-five cents,” Tom said. “Last time in I added a quart of oil and forgot to pay for it.”

“Oh. That’ll be two and a quarter then. Thanks for remembering.”

Tom paid the bill and got back into the car. As we pulled away, he seemed to become conscious of me regarding him strangely.

Throwing me a grin, he said, “A penny saved is a penny earned. I trade there because the place is understaffed. About every third time in I have to serve myself. You’d be surprised how it adds up.”

“Still shooting angles, huh?” I said. “Only you used to stay inside the law. That was downright stealing.”

“Fiddle flap. I learned long ago that everybody gets what he can, legally or illegally. The only way to keep from being taken is to take the other guy first. Unless he’s a personal friend, of course. I’ve got a strict code of ethics. I never take advantage of a friend.”

“You seemed pretty friendly with that gas station attendant.”

“Because we call each other by first names? That doesn’t mean anything. I only know him from trading there. We’re just customer and merchant.”

We drove in silence for a block. Then I asked, “Why’d you pay for the oil you took last time? Presumably he didn’t know anything about it.”

He threw me another grin. “Builds confidence. Think he’ll ever suspect me of swiping gas when I’m honest enough to pay a debt he didn’t even know I owed? Every so often I pull something like that just to make sure he keeps trusting me.”

He slowed and drove into the parking lot of a shopping plaza. I said, “Hey, what now? We’re going to be late for the meeting.”

“We can get in late. I usually miss the ritual anyway. Once you’ve seen it, you’ve seen it. My liquor stock at home is low, and the stores will be closed by the time the stag’s over.”

I would have preferred to make the meeting on time, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. He found a parking slot and we both got out. I trailed him into a chain drug store.

There was a liquor department in the drug store. He bought a quart of bourbon. The clerk put it into a paper bag and stapled the cash register receipt to the outside of the bag.

When we got back to the car, Tom said, “Don’t get in. We have another stop.”

I waited while he opened the car trunk, removed the whisky from the bag and stored it in the trunk. Flattening out the bag, he neatly folded it and thrust it into a side pocket of his coat.

I followed him to the opposite side of the parking lot and into a supermarket.

This time he took a shopping cart. Our first stop was the self-service liquor department, where he set another bottle of bourbon in the cart. He pushed the car a few aisles over and added a six-pack of soda. We moved to the next aisle to collect a loaf of bread and a small jar of instant coffee.

Then he pushed the cart from aisle to aisle with seeming aimlessness until we came to one where there were no other customers or store personnel in sight. After glancing both ways, he pulled the paper bag from his pocket, snapped it open and put the quart of whisky in it.

“Let’s go,” he said.

At the checkout counter the girl rang up the soda, bread and coffee. Glancing at the cash register receipt stapled to the bag containing the whisky, she pushed it on to the boy who was bagging the purchase without ringing it up.

“One dollar and sixty-one cents,” she said.

Tom gave her two ones and she handed him change.

After glancing at it, he said, “Hey, you gave me four cents too much.”

Holding out his hand, he displayed a quarter, a dime, a nickel and three pennies.

After gazing at the change for a moment, the girl said, “Gee thanks. There must have been a nickel in the penny compartment.”

She took the nickel and exchanged it for a penny.

As we walked out, I said, “Was that more of your technique? Proving your honesty in a small way, so you wouldn’t be suspected of stealing anything big?”

“Uh-huh,” he admitted cheerily. “I deliberately switched a penny for that nickel.”

I couldn’t quite decide whether to be amused by his chronic larceny or disgusted with him. Like most people, I’m conditioned to believe that stealing is wrong regardless of how you rationalize it, but I had to concede that Tom’s dishonesty at least possessed an imaginative flair. And if his technique was always similar to what he had demonstrated tonight, it was extremely unlikely he would ever be caught.

As he stowed the shopping bag in the trunk, he said, “You’d be surprised how it adds up, Sid. Individually it’s pretty stiff, but it probably adds up to a couple of thousand a year.”

“Doesn’t your conscience ever bother you?” I asked.

“Why should it? The people I take would take me just as fast if they had the chance.”

We both got into the car and Tom backed from the slot.

As we drove off the lot, I said, “Well, then, doesn’t it worry you that you might get caught?”

“I won’t be,” he said with confidence. “I’m never even suspected. You can’t beat the old con trick of building confidence in small ways. That girl knows me. I’ve called attention to undercharges a couple of times, and once before I gave her back money when I got too much change. Last time it actually was her mistake. Think she would ever believe that a customer who’s always so honest would try to pull anything? The secret is to build confidence in the sucker’s mind before you ever make a move.”

I still wasn’t quite sure whether to be amused by his shenanigans or disgusted. I finally decided it was none of my business.

“You do what you want,” I said. “I’ll stick to the old-fashioned way of paying for merchandise.”

It was twenty after eight when we arrived at the Elks. The door to the bar was closed and locked, as the bar always shut down while lodge was in session. There was no one in the lobby.

“You particularly interested in attending the meeting?” Tom asked.

“I thought that’s what we came for.”

“We came for the stag after ward. I happen to know nothing very interesting is coming up tonight. It’s just routine business. Let’s have a game of pool in the basement.”

I really wanted to attend the meeting, but I didn’t particularly care to go in late alone. Despite last week’s instructions during initiation on various ritualistic procedures, I wasn’t quite sure how to request admission from the tyler, or just what I was supposed to do and say after I was let in. I did vaguely recall that the procedure wasn’t very elaborate, but I would be up there going through it all alone in front of the assembled brotherhood. Without Tom’s moral support. I didn’t have much stomach for it. I gave in and followed Tom to the basement poolroom.

We decided to play eight-ball. Tom won the cushion shot and racked the balls. As we both chalked our cues, Tom said, “Why don’t you play poker tonight instead of getting in the crap game, Sid?”

“Why?”

“I told you I don’t take friends. And you’re a friend.”

I cocked an eyebrow at him. “You mean the game’s crooked?”

“Not exactly. It’s just that I can’t be beat. Examine these.”

He dipped a hand into his side pants pocket and tossed a pair of red, transparent dice on the pool table. They came up six-four.

I knew enough about dice to catch crooked ones on close examination. I matched them and the markings were all right. Then I squared them against each other on all six planes. They weren’t shaved. Wetting my thumb and index finger, I suspended one die between them by two corners, holding it loosely enough to turn easily. If it had been unevenly weighted, one corner would always have ended down when the die was spun. It passed the test, and so did the second die.

“They looked square to me,” I said.

“They are. Toss them back.”

I rolled them toward him, he scooped them up and immediately tossed again. This time they came up five-one.

“Examine them again,” Tom said.

I went through the same tests. This time, on the wet-finger test, one die failed to pass.

I bounced it on the green felt and it came up five. I bounced it twice more and the same number showed.

“This one’s loaded always to come up five,” I said. “What’d you do? Switch dice?”

Grinning, he showed me a third die, palmed.

“What advantage does that give you?” I asked. “So everybody always throws a five on one die.”

“Not everybody,” he said. “Only me, whenever I come out. On my second roll it goes back in my palm and we play with straight dice. So it can never get away from me and work its way around the table, you see.”

I said puzzledly, “I still don’t get it.”

“You would if you thought about it. If I’m always sure of a five on one die on my first roll what points are possible on both dice?”

After thinking a moment, I said, “You can come up with a six, seven, eight, nine, ten or eleven.”

“Exactly. I can’t ever throw craps. Once out of every three times I get the next best thing: a six or an eight. Once out of six times I have to shoot for a nine, and once out of six times I’m stuck with a ten. It throws the odds around eight-to-five with me. If you want the exact odds, they’re eight-to-five-point-one, seven, seven. Anyway, they’re enough so that over the long haul I can’t possibly lose on my own rolls.”

I said slowly, “You pull this against brother Elks?”

“Brother Elks, fiddle flap,” he said. “They’re just guys. Some are my friends and some are just barroom acquaintances. To my friends I pass the word to stay off me. The others don’t count.”

My brows went up. “You mean some of the other Elks know about this loaded die?”

He shook his head. “The other guys I don’t want to take, I just warn that I feel hot and to stay off me. You’re the only one who knows the real lowdown. That’s because you’re a particularly good friend.”

I wasn’t sure whether to feel flattered or uncomfortable. I didn’t like the idea of standing by while fellow members, whom only a week ago I had pledged to regard as brothers, were taken in a crooked crap game. Yet how Could I violate a confidence told me because of friendship? Particularly since if I said anything, my avowed good friend would undoubtedly be kicked out of the lodge.

There couldn’t be many stags during the year, I told myself. The best thing to do was just forget it.

“Do you cheat at pool too?” I asked.

Pocketing the dice, he grinned at me and addressed the cue ball. “I don’t have to. We won’t make a bet, because I’m going to skin your pants off and I don’t make suckers out of my friends.” Whereupon he proceeded to wallop me in two straight games.

Near the end of the second game we heard the members trooping downstairs and knew the meeting was over. When we finished the game, we racked our cues and went up to join the party.

I decided to take Tom’s advice and stay out of the crap game. There were three poker games, ranging from twenty-five-cent limit to five-dollar limit. I got in the two-bit game.

The crap game was held on blanket-covered table shoved against the wall, immediately behind where I was seated. I didn’t pay much attention to what was going on there, as you can’t afford to play poker with a wandering mind, but occasionally when I was out of a hand I glanced over my shoulder.

On one such occasion I turned my attention to the crap game just in time to hear Tom Slider say, “You covered with a buck too much, Joe. Here.”

The trust-building technique again. I thought ruefully, as I saw Tom separate a bill from his sizeable wad and toss it to another player. Who was going to suspect him of cheating, when he returned an extra dollar mistakenly given him?

At a quarter past eleven I was three dollars ahead when a hand fell on my shoulder from behind. Glancing around, I found Tom standing behind me.

“I cleaned the game and everybody quit,” he said. “Think you could snare a ride home if I took off?”

Andy Carter, across the table, said, “I’ll be here until closing. I’ll run you home, Sid.”

“Okay,” I said. “Go ahead, Tom. See you for dinner next Wednesday.”

At midnight I was two dollars out. By then I had drunk a little too much beer and was beginning to tire of the game. When I was dealt a pair of jacks in five-card draw. I didn’t even bother to open. Passing, I tossed in my cards, lit a cigarette, leaned back in my chair and waited for the next hand.

Idly I wondered why Tom Slider had singled me out to demonstrate his dice cheating system. His excuse that I was a particularly good friend didn’t quite hold up. While we had been pretty thick in high school, we had barely been in contact since. Actually I qualified more as what Tom classed as an “acquaintance” than as a friend.

Then a peculiar thought drifted into my mind. Remembering what Tom had said about the old con trick of “building confidence in small ways”. I wondered if he had stressed our friendship for the purpose of throwing me off guard. Had his repeated insistence that he never cheated friends been merely groundwork to allay any suspicions I might have, so that eventually he could move in for the kill?

That was silly, I told myself. I didn’t have enough extra money to be cheated out of anything substantial. And if Tom planned anything as corny as trying to sell me fake stock, he hardly would have let me witness his larcenous ways.

I decided that even though I was no longer so sure of my friendship for Tom, he must have been sincere in his proclamation of friendship for me.

It was close to one-thirty when I got home. Again Evelyn was in bed, but not asleep. When I switched on the bedroom light, she smiled as me.

“Hi, hon,” she said. “Have fun?”

“I lost four dollars and drank too much beer, but I guess you could call it fun. Just sleepy now.”

“How did Tom do?” she asked casually.

I hung my coat in the closet. “He broke the crap game and left early. Another guy brought me home. Incidentally, I’m not so sure we ought to get thick with Tom.”

“Why not?” she asked in a surprised voice.

I started to take off my tie. “He’s changed since high school. He wasn’t the nicest guy in the world even then, as a matter of fact. I just don’t think he’s our kind of people.”

“Fiddle flap,” Evelyn said. “I think he’s very nice.”

I stood still for several seconds, but I didn’t say anything. Then I finished undressing, put on my pyjamas and climbed into bed.

The next morning I left at my usual time to call on clients. Our life went on as normally as ever.

The thing which makes me think Evelyn suspects is that when Tom’s murder was announced in the paper, she never even mentioned it.

Mrs. Gilly and the Gigolo

by Mary L. Roby

Should the reader be prone to censure our heroine, he might well consider, “It is not every question that deserves an answer.”

* * *

Mrs. Gilly was accustomed to buying whatever she needed to make life comfortable. Therefore, when it became necessary to make her husband jealous, she did not hesitate to hire a gigolo.

His name was Anthony Powers, and he was much more appealing than Mr. Gilly had been even in his most balmy days. His hair was smooth and dark and his eyes were of the glistening variety. He stood well over five-foot-ten.

All of this compared favourably with Mr. Gilly, who had very little hair, weak and watery eyes, and stood only five-foot-four.

However, Mr. Gilly had power, position and money; Anthony Powers had nothing but his charm and his good looks. Because of this Mrs. Gilly found him boring in the extreme, but she kept up a facade of gushing girlhood in his presence because she hated to admit she was not getting her money’s worth.

It had been necessary for her to involve herself with this oily young man because of Mr. Gilly’s sudden and inexplicable entanglement with a young secretary at one of his offices. It was the usual story. He no longer came home directly at five as he had during all their married life. Friends had told her they had seen him dining and dancing with the girl at expensive night spots. Some wives would have crumpled into a ball and had a good cry, or gone on a buying spree. Not Mrs. Gilly. She had decided she would make her husband jealous, or die trying.

She had found Anthony Powers at one of those dusty agencies which specializes in such commodities. And, in the beginning, he had been a very accommodating boy. He had arrived to pick her up in the evenings in perfectly acceptable evening clothes, and had known how to order at the best restaurants. Of course what he was stood out all over him. But, considering her age and general lack of anything that could remotely be called glamour, Mrs. Gilly thought he was rather a find.

It took a great deal of doing, but she finally managed to put in an appearance with Anthony at the same restaurant where her husband and the little redhead were dining. Mr. Gilly had obviously lost his appetite at the first sight of them, and that night when they had both reached the privacy of their adjoining bedrooms they had decided that kind of philandering on both their parts had to come to an end.

“We don’t want to make ourselves ridiculous,” Mr. Gilly said very seriously.

And even though Mrs. Gilly knew that he was thinking of her and her oily young friend, she didn’t mind because Mr. Gilly always kept his word. Besides, he was kissing her for the first time in months.

It was at this point the trouble really began. When Mrs. Gilly called the agency the next afternoon and told them she would no longer need the services of Mr. Powers, she expected to receive a bill and mark a period to the entire affair.

But Anthony Powers was, it seemed, unwilling to give up so easily. He came to see her just before tea that afternoon and made quite an exhibition of himself.

He began by saying that Mrs. Gilly must promise him not to tell the agency he had come because they would fire him immediately if they knew he had forced himself on her when his company was no longer wanted. At this point his voice broke. He was a fool, he went on to say, to have allowed himself to have become personally involved with someone when he knew that this was all simply a business arrangement. But he had become involved. He loved her. That was it, pure and simple. He had fallen in love with her.

He actually fell to his knees there in the middle of the neat living-room, but Mrs. Gilly made him get up immediately. She was extremely disturbed. Pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace, she kept glancing in the mirror and seeing a dowdy, grey-haired woman who was obviously fifty if she was a day. She began to think that this young man grovelling in front of her had gone out of his mind. Either that, or else she had.

Anthony simply would not stop talking; he talked about his wasted life, and Mrs. Gilly was terrified that he was about to break into tears. She got him to sit quietly on the sofa and rang for tea, but even that didn’t seem to settle him. He drank two cups and ate three little cakes, and rambled on and on about how he couldn’t face life without seeing her every day. Finally he mentioned suicide.

By this time Mrs. Gilly was nearly frantic. She had promised Mr. Gilly she would never see Anthony Powers, nor anyone like him again, and here he was, sitting in her living-room. If Mr. Gilly were to come home he would think she had broken her promise, and perhaps that would make him break his.

Then there was the poor boy opposite her. It was useless to remind him that he was young enough to be her son. And the thought that he might actually take his own life made cold chills run up and down her back.

Mrs. Gilly felt herself to be rather gauche about affairs of the heart. She had never been attractive enough as a girl to have been the centre of any degree of subtle wooing, and now she knew herself to be completely lost. Awkwardly, she pretended that she was fond of Anthony, and offered him a brooch, which she hastily took off her dress, as a keepsake.

“Let it remind you of all the happy times we have spent together,” she said, wanting to fall through the floor in her embarrassment.

Anthony Powers took the brooch. Although he did not examine it carefully and thus could not have realized that it was set with real diamonds and a sizeable ruby, he seemed much happier after the offer had been made.

After all, he said, he couldn’t expect Mrs. Gilly to think of giving up a comfortable home to be with a penniless fellow like himself. Mrs. Gilly replied with some nonsense about the debt which she owed Mr. Gilly. Actually she scarcely knew what she was saying, she was so eager to have the young man gone before her husband returned home. When Mr. Powers finally took his leave, after startling her by grabbing her hand and kissing it in a most impassioned manner, all she could think of was her relief that he had gone in time to avoid a scene. Mr. Gilly had been most definite in his opinion of oily youths who hired their company out to the highest bidder.

Only much later, when she lay sleepless on her bed with Mr. Gilly peacefully snoring beside her, did Mrs. Gilly reflect that the brooch she had given the young man was a very valuable one, and what was more, her husband had given it to her on the occasion of their twentieth wedding anniversary. Never in the past had she lied to Mr. Gilly, but in the wee hours of the morning she decided, if he were to ask her about it, she would tell him it was lost. She had read somewhere that if one must lie, a simple lie was best.

As for the possibility that she might see Anthony Powers again, that thought never entered her mind. But one afternoon about a month later, the young man phoned her. He sounded desperate, and quite incoherent. Out of a feeling of responsibility, she finally agreed to meet him at a little restaurant near Washington Square for lunch.

He was there waiting for her, looking pale and thinner. He told her he had given up his profession because of her. He intended to become an honest man. Finally, because it seemed the obvious question, Mrs. Gilly asked him if he needed money.

She found it difficult to convince him that she wanted him to have a hundred dollars. She was not a cruel woman, and her heart had been touched to see the way he had gulped his food. She couldn’t bear to see him starve, she said, and she wanted to show him in some material way how proud she was of his attempt to make a new life for himself.

Finally he agreed to accept a cheque on her personal account for a hundred and fifty dollars. At the same time she tried to make it clear that Mr. Gilly would be most upset if he knew they had picked up the strands of their acquaintance, even for one afternoon. She was able to get away only after listening to the young man’s assurances that he would make something of himself that she could be proud of, and that he would, of course, return the money with interest just as soon as he earned it.

Mrs. Gilly next saw Anthony Powers three weeks later, as she and Mr. Gilly were having cocktails at a very plush bar. They happened to come out of the hotel just behind Anthony. He was escorting an older woman who, in the light of what he had told Mrs. Gilly about giving up his “profession”, could only have been his mother. He helped her into a taxi in the same obsequious way he had once helped Mrs. Gilly, and he was wearing an obviously new dinner jacket.

That incident should have warned Mrs. Gilly that she had not seen the last of her young friend. Nevertheless, she was alarmed when he turned up at the house one evening. Mr. Gilly was at a meeting at his club that night, but was expected home any minute. She found it necessary to be quite abrupt.

She was very sorry, she told Anthony, but she could not allow him to come to her house again. When he tried to tell her about his bad luck in trying to find respectable work, she was cruel enough to suggest he could always pawn his dinner jacket. When he demanded to know what she meant, she told him about having seen him a few nights before. Just as she had suspected, the older woman had been his mother, or so he said, and he had hired the jacket to impress her.

“Poor Mum would be brokenhearted if she knew I wasn’t a success,” he said.

He was so frank and open, and obviously still in love with her, that it nearly broke Mrs. Gilly’s heart to insist that he not contact her again. When he protested, she simply rang the bell and asked the butler to show him out.

Anthony went, but ten minutes later he called her. He had turned very nasty and was not at all like his old self. He told her she couldn’t brush him off that easily, and he threatened to show her husband a photostat of the cheque she had given him unless she continued to produce funds at certain regular intervals.

Mrs. Gilly went weak at the knees, but she kept her head. At his direction she wrote out another cheque for one hundred and fifty dollars and put in into an envelope that very evening. She needed time to think; she had to have time to recover from her shock at the young man’s duplicity.

During the next few days Mrs. Gilly was particularly conscious of the comfort which surrounded her. From the first waking moment of the morning when her maid brought her breakfast on a silver tray, until she wrapped herself luxuriously in an expensive robe and brushed her hair in the evening, Mrs. Gilly reflected on her good fortune. After his single lapse, her husband had become as attentive as any woman could wish him to be, and his affection for her now seemed especially precious.

It was obvious, too, that he had never forgotten what he obviously thought of as her near brush with infidelity. One morning he made a special point of telling her that he had heard his best friend, Bill carter, threaten to kill the next man who demonstrated affection for his wife, who was quite a different sort of person from Mrs. Gilly. Lucy was beautiful and charming, and had always attracted men like bees to honey. Her latest devotee had been a man much younger than himself, and Bill had threatened to shoot him if he found them together again.

Mrs. Gilly knew there was a special meaning behind her husband’s recitation of this dramatic bit of gossip, and she nodded vigorously to show him she understood.

It was then that Mrs. Gilly decided Anthony Powers would be better off dead.

First, she called Bill Carter at his office. With the assurance of an old friend, she suggested that he leave his office early and, together with Lucy, accompany her and Mr. Gilly to a little restaurant near Central Park where they had dined, the four of them, many times in the past on special occasions.

“And make it a surprise for Lucy,” she urged. “Women of our age don’t have much to surprise us, you know. She’ll enjoy herself more if you just pop home early from the office and tell her where we’re going.”

After that, Mrs. Gilly called her husband. He was surprised at the suggestion, but agreeable, and told her she was very thoughtful to have devised something of that sort just when Bill and Lucy needed the attention of their friends most.

Then Mrs. Gilly had only one more phone call to make. The man at the agency was pleased to hear from an old customer, and he promised to make certain her orders were followed exactly.

Mrs. Gilly spent the rest of the day trying to read. By the time her husband arrived home, however, she was in such a nervous state it was no trouble at all for her to portray shocked disbelief when he told her about the tragedy that had occurred at the Carter apartment that afternoon when Bill had arrived home early from work.

The entire story was in the late editions. Mrs. Gilly had called Lucy Carter at once, of course, to express her sympathy and ask her to come to them during the next gruelling weeks, but Lucy had gone to some hideaway in the country to avoid the newspaper men.

The next months were difficult for both Lucy and Bill. No one realized that better than Mrs. Gilly. But Bill was able to afford a very clever lawyer, who managed to convince a jury that the adulterous threat of Anthony Powers had given his client the perfect right to shoot him in the head.

After it was all over, Mr. and Mrs. Gilly and Bill and Lucy Carter took a little trip together to Bermuda. Lucy was troublesome at first. She insisted on wondering over and over again why the young man had come to her apartment in the first place. But Mrs. Gilly finally convinced her friend that the least said, soonest mended.

For Love

by Elijah Ellis

The man who catches “fishes in other men’s ditches” should be cognizant of the dangers that lurk therein.

* * *

The two men entered the sheriff’s private office separately, Levi Eldridge first, then a couple of minutes later, Frank Latham. Both moved with the stiff-legged wariness of dogs approaching a possible enemy and not sure whether to fight or run.

Sheriff Ed Carson didn’t speak. He gestured Eldridge and Latham into chairs, one at each corner of his desk. Then, as the men squirmed and scowled at each other, the sheriff riffled through a stack of papers before him on the battered desk. The tense silence lengthened into an ominous threat.

I was sitting back in a corner of the little office, a cramped cubbyhole that opened off the sheriff’s main office on the ground floor of the courthouse. There were a lot of places I’d rather have been than in that stuffy office.

For one thing, it was the hottest afternoon of the summer, and the windowless office made a very efficient oven. More important, one of those men, Eldridge or Latham, was quite possibly a murderer.

Finally Levi Eldridge burst out, “Alright. Carson. Let’s get on with it, whatever it is you want.”

“You were so eager to have me drive clear into town here, in the middle of the day. So what gives?” Frank Latham rasped.

“I’m a busy man...” Eldridge started.

“Yeah. Busy with that shyster lawyer of yours tryin’ to steal the property my wife left,” Latham broke in bitterly.

Eldridge lunged to his feet. “What do you mean, your wife? You dirty killer!”

“Take it easy, boys,” Sheriff Carson said quietly. His mild blue gaze moved from one man to the other, then back to Eldridge. “Sit down, Levi.”

Growling, Eldridge sat down. “We’re waiting for Henry Turner to get here,” Carson went on. “He’s comin’ over from the jail now.”

Eldridge and Latham stirred uneasily. Latham took out a soiled handkerchief and mopped his red, sweaty face.

“Yeah, Latham, you got cause to sweat,” Eldridge muttered.

Carson repeated crisply, “Take it easy.” Then he gestured toward me. “You both know Mr. Gates, the county attorney.”

The two men favoured me with black looks and curt nods. They knew me alright. At one time or another, I’d prosecuted both of them; Eldridge for involuntary manslaughter in a bloody car smash-up, and Latham for attempted robbery. I hadn’t managed to convict either one, but that didn’t make them like me any better.

Now the door opened and a short, compactly built man in his early twenties came hesitantly into the already crowded office. “Jailer said you wanted to see me.”

“That’s right, Henry,” the sheriff said. “Why don’t you sit down there beside Mr. Gates? Fine.”

Henry Turner sat down near me, ducked his blond head, then stared steadily at the floor. His large, calloused hands clenched tightly together in his lap.

“Alright,” Sheriff Carson said. He nibbled thoughtfully at the lower fringe of his pepper-and-salt moustache. “Reason I asked you boys to come in this afternoon, Mr. Gates and I want to try again to wrap this thing up. One way or another.”

“Oh, for hell’s sake,” Latham said disgustedly. “Right there sits the killer. Levi Eldridge. If Henry would just go ahead and identify him.”

“Why don’t you give it up?” Eldridge broke in. “You shot Garnet, and everybody in Pokochobee County knows it.”

“Shut up, the both of you,” Carson said, raising his voice for the first time.

Henry Turner cleared his throat hesitantly. “Uh, Mr. Carson, I don’t know what you want with me. I can’t tell you any more than I already have — honest.” He chewed his lips, then added in a rush. “I’d just as soon not be around those fellers, Sheriff. I... I’m scairt and that’s the truth.”

Carson was kindly, “That’s alright, son. You just rest easy. You’re safe here. Now, let’s talk about this murder.”

I tried to get comfortable. I lit a cigarette I didn’t want, from the butt of the last one that I hadn’t wanted either. It was just plain miserably hot in the crowded little office.

Not at all like the day — just day before yesterday, it was, though it seemed much longer — when Garnet Eldridge had been shot four times in the head and body, in the front room of her farm home.

That day, Monday, had been cloudy and unseasonably chilly. Rain had fallen off and on during the morning and early afternoon. Garnet was supposedly alone at the farm, Eldridge having, supposedly, driven into Monroe to get a load of groceries and have a few beers. He had an alibi of sorts, but not nearly good enough to rule him out.

Frank Latham had spent part of the morning at a local attorney’s office, trying to figure out what his rights were, in the tangled mess caused by the triangle of himself, and Levi and Garnet Eldridge. He’d told us that he had spent the rest of the day out at the ragtail little farm he’d taken, out west of Monroe, and a good twenty miles from the much more prosperous Eldridge farm. But he couldn’t prove it, to his sorrow.

Either man could be the killer. Both had motives for wanting Garnet out of the way. As far as we knew, no one else did.

And there had been a witness who actually saw the killer hurrying out of the Eldridge house, just after the shots were fired — Henry Turner. But there was a very crucial gap in Henry’s testimony, and until now, the sheriff and I had been unable to close that gap.

We had hardly any physical evidence, and it was all too clear that unless we somehow got a confession out of the killer, he was going to get away with it. All he had to do was sit tight and keep his nerve.

That was the reason for this meeting of the suspects in the sheriff’s office. We had a card or two palmed, ready to play at the right moment. And maybe, just maybe, he’d crack. I was something less than hopeful, but we’d soon see.

As the sheriff talked on, rambling around without really saying anything, I thought about the dead woman, Garnet Eldridge. Or, to be legally precise, Garnet Latham.

If ever a murder victim had asked for it, Garnet had. From what I’d gathered from people who knew her, she had been a likeable, good-natured woman not overly endowed with brains. I’d never met her, though I had seen her a few times around town.

She was reasonably pretty, more than well-built, and from the gossip I’d heard, had the morals of an oversexed alley cat. Naturally enough, the women of the county didn’t care for her. Just as naturally, the men did.

Some seven or eight years ago, Garnet had decided to try marriage. She settled on Frank Latham. He was a wild, hard-drinking kid then, who had inherited a fairly good farm from his dead parents, and was doing his best to drink up whatever profits the farm brought in.

A few months after the marriage, which had evidently been something less than ideal, Frank and some of his cronies had tried a stickup in the county. They had fumbled the whole business. That was when I met him.

I didn’t send him to prison, but not long after the trial Frank disappeared, leaving Garnet in possession of the farm. Her story was that he just packed a bag and took off, telling her where she could go, and take the farm with her.

So a couple of years went by; then four, and five. By then Garnet had run through the eligible, and not so eligible, males of the county. The farm was in her name now, and with the help of a succession of “hired hands”, she’d built it up into one of the most valuable properties in the country.

Levi Eldridge was the last “hand”. He was a hard-working man, who must have had other not-so-obvious attributes as well. In any case, slightly over a year ago, he and Garnet were married, but she had neglected to divorce Latham beforehand. Since she hadn’t heard a word from him in the intervening years, she thought he must be dead, if she thought at all.

This second marriage seemingly worked out fairly well. Eldridge had evidently been happy enough. People on neighbouring farms had said that his big interest was in the fertile farm that Garnet had cheerfully signed over to him.

And so it stood until last week. Then Frank Latham came back from whatever limbo he’d been in during the last seven years, and things began to pop. Latham wasn’t interested in Garnet too much, but he was very interested in getting back the now valuable farm. He hired a lawyer, and Eldridge hired a lawyer.

Both sides had a reasonable case. It was the kind of thing that could drag on for years, with no certainty it would ever be settled.

Garnet was the key. Legally, she was still Latham’s wife, since she had not taken the trouble to have him declared legally dead. On the other side, Latham had obviously deserted her. It all boiled down to which man Garnet really wanted. But Garnet couldn’t make up her mind.

Latham swore that she had told him she would return to him. Just as emphatically, Eldridge swore she had said she meant to stay with him.

As became obvious during our investigation, it was a toss-up. One minute Garnet leaned one way, the next minute the other. The days dragged on, with Latham and Eldridge applying all the pressure they could.

But still Garnet couldn’t, or wouldn’t, take a definite stand, and it cost her life. Someone got tired of waiting.

About the middle of the afternoon on Monday, Henry Turner was coming along the country lane that passed the Eldridge place. He was, he said, about a hundred yards or so from the big white house when he heard shots. He stopped and stared toward the house, where he saw a tall, wiry, dark-haired man run out, leap off the veranda, and run into the nearby woods. A moment later Henry heard a car start and drive away, although he couldn’t see the car.

Fine; only both Latham and Eldridge were tall, wiry, dark-haired men. At a distance, it would be easy to mistake one for the other, unquestionably. Henry, who knew both men, could not tell which man it was, if it was either of them. And he refused even to make a guess.

In any case, after the killer had gone, Henry ran across the field between the lane and the house. He rushed inside. Garnet was sprawled on the living-room floor, on her back. There was blood all over her. She was dead.

There was a phone there, but the wire had been cut at the point where it emerged from the house. So Henry Turner, who had been fishing down at the river a mile below the Eldridge place, dropped his fishing rod and his creel, and took off out of the house and across the fields to the neighbouring farm where he worked as a hired hand. From there he called the sheriff.

And, as Henry had stammered to us when we got out there, that was all he knew about it, which was not quite enough.

At the murder scene, the sheriff and his deputies, and myself, found nothing much to do us any good. The weapon was lying in a mud puddle near the front steps — a .22 pistol, wiped clean of prints. There were thousands just like it in the county, and no way to find out who owned it, short of a miracle. But no miracle occurred.

There were plenty of footprints in the muddy yard and in the nearby grove of trees. But the rain-sodden ground was too soft for clear prints. We found a place around a bend in the lane beyond the trees where a car had been parked, but the tyre tracks were only meaningless depressions in the gooey mud.

Back at the house, we found nothing of any positive value. There were plenty of fingerprints all over the place, of course. Garnet’s, Eldridge’s, a few of Latham’s — but he had been there two or three times during the week he had been back in the county. Even Eldridge grudingly admitted that.

So there we were. We had prime suspects, even a more or less eyewitness. And we had nothing. Unless...

“That’s how it stands, boys,” Carson was saying. He leaned back in his swivel chair and sighed. “Neither one of you has an alibi worth a hoot, so why don’t one of you just up and confess? Put an end to all this. How do you expect to live with it, knowin’ you killed that harmless woman, shot her down in cold blood, and her no more’n thirty years old? Lordy, I wouldn’t want that on my...”

“Stop it,” Frank Latham said angrily. “Eldridge killed her. it’s plain as the nose on your ugly face.”

Sweat was pouring down Eldridge’s face in torrents. He said through clenched teeth, “Latham, I’m going to get you. You may weasel out of this mess, but from now on you better keep a close watch over your shoulder. One of these days...”

The two men stared at each other in rage just short of the exploding point. I hoped Ed Carson had his gun handy.

He slapped his hand down sharply on the desk top. “Stop that kind of talk.” Relaxing a little, he smiled toward Henry Turner. “Anyway, if the killer would just let go and confess, young Henry there could go home.”

Turner managed a weak laugh. “Sure would like that.”

Since the murder, Turner had been at the jail, bunking in one of the cells. We felt, and he had agreed, it would be a lot safer for him there, than out on a lonely farm where he would be fair game for the killer, if the killer should get worried about Henry’s testimony.

The sheriff raised his arms, yawned widely. “It’s sure hot. Be a good day to be down yonder on the river bank, fishin’ and drinkin’ ice-cold beer. Eh, Henry?”

“Yes, sir.”

“By the way, how’d you do Monday?” Carson asked.

“Oh, who cares?” Latham rapped out. “If you’re going to sit here babbling about fishing...”

“Stay put, Frank,” the sheriff said calmly. “Hate to have to bend the barrel of my gun over your head.”

Latham subsided, muttering. Eldridge snickered.

Carson went back to Henry Turner. “How’d you do?”

The farmhand scratched his blond head puzzledly. “Why, I didn’t catch nothin’ at all, Sheriff. Too gusty and all. And the rain was...”

“Sho’. Fact, it wasn’t at all a day to go fishin’, now was it?” Carson said idly. He yawned again.

“Reckon not,” Turner said. “I just didn’t have nothin’ else to do.”

My muscles were slowly tensing.

“Uh huh,” the sheriff was saying. “Besides, it was right good that you did go. Gave you a chance to see the killer runnin’ out of the Eldridge house. Too bad you wasn’t just a little closer, so’s you could tell for sure which of these fellers it was.”

Turner was shuffling his feet restlessly. “Now, I done told you all, over and over, I couldn’t see who...”

“No, you sure couldn’t, Henry,” I said suddenly. He jumped, swung his head toward me. I went on, “Because there wasn’t anyone there, was there?”

“Wha... what?”

This was the moment we’d been waiting for, after giving him lots of time to relax, to get used to the idea that he was perfectly safe and free of suspicion.

Now the sheriff dropped his casual air. He leaned forward over his desk, and shouted, “Why did you kill her, Henry? Why? You been havin’ an affair with her — that it?”

Turner’s face turned a muddy yellow under the sunburn. He shook his head violently, started to get up, but I threw my arm across his chest, holding him in the chair. He stammered, “I didn’t! I... I...”

“Yes, you... you,” I snarled into his face. “You took your little pop-gun over there that afternoon when you knew she’d be alone, and you shot her, and shot her, and she fell down with blood spurting — and you stood over her and shot her again!”

“Come on, Henry,” the sheriff yelled. “Give it up. You hung yourself when you gave us that cock-and-bull story about goin’ fishing. A country boy like you, tryin’ to make us think you’d be dumb enough to go fishin’ on a day like Monday was. Lordy boy.”

Henry slumped down in the chair. “No, no. Listen, it was—” His eyes went desperately from the stunned Latham to the equally stunned Eldridge. “—It was him, Levi Eldridge. I seen him.”

“The hell you did,” I cried. I grasped his beefy shoulder, shook him roughly. “You said you ran into that house and saw Mrs. Eldridge dead. You — what did you do then?”

“I dropped my fishin’ stuff like I told you. I run to the phone, but it was dead.”

Carson growled, “How’d you know it was dead?”

“Huh? Why, I tried it, but I couldn’t get no answer. He, Eldridge, had cut the line, so Garnet couldn’t have no chance of callin’ for help.”

“Oh, you called her Garnet, did you?” I said, shaking him again. “Knew her pretty well, didn’t you?”

He said through chattering teeth, “Why... why, sure I knew her. ’Course. Ever’body knew her.”

“But not as well as you,” I said. “You tried to phone, that your lying story?”

“Sure I did, but...”

The sheriff said, “Ah.” He sat back in his chair. “If you picked up that phone, Henry, how come you didn’t leave fingerprints on it? There were lots of other prints but none of yours. Henry. Not one of yours.”

“You didn’t pick it up, because you knew it was dead,” I said. “Because you cut the wire outside the house, just before you went in and murdered...”

“Alright, alright — stop!” Turner suddenly screamed. “I did it. I killed her. I didn’t want to — I loved her. She told me she was through with me, wasn’t goin’ to see me no more. We used to meet down at an old cabin, by the river, almost every day.”

He leaned his head on his trembling hands, sobbing brokenly. For a moment that was the only sound.

“What happened?” I asked softly.

Turner’s voice was muffled behind his hands. “I don’t know. It started when Latham came back. Anyway, Garnet all of a sudden told me she wouldn’t see me no more.”

“So you killed her,” Carson said.

“I had to,” Turner said. He raised his tear-stained face. “Don’t you see? I had to. I loved her.”

“Oh, he loved her!” Latham said. He sounded sick.

Eldridge shook his head slowly. “You want that blasted farm, Frank? You can have it, and welcome.”

Latham didn’t answer.

At a signal from the sheriff, I rose, opened the door and beckoned to a deputy who stood waiting in the outer office. A few minutes later, Carson and I were alone.

“Rough,” Carson said.

“Well, it was the only way. We had to have his confession.” I lit a cigarette, looked at it sourly, then ground it out in the ashtray on the desk.

“Garnet had one lover too many,” Carson said.

“One too many,” I agreed. “One who really wanted her, and not her money... Come’on. I’ll buy the coffee.”

Memory Test

by Jack Ritchie

Anent the hue and cry of environment versus heredity as the procreant of crime, memory seems to react precipitately to reproduction of the former.

* * *

Crandell began the interview. “You’ve been here since 1940?”

Miss Hudson had grey hair and a tried, patient smile. “Yes, sir. I believe it was 1940.”

“And the sentence was life imprisonment?”

“Yes, sir.”

I paged through the folder in front of me. “You were sent to prison for the murder — for the poisoning of your aunt? Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, sir. For the poisoning of my aunt.”

I looked up. “Why did you kill her?”

Her face became impassive. “Because she shot the robins. She knew I liked to watch them from the kitchen windows and so she shot them.”

We knew all these things, of course. But when a prisoner appears before the parole board, we want to hear her talk. We feel that, to some extent, it aids us in determining, whether to release the prisoner or not.

Amos Whitman, the third member of the board, leaned forward on his elbows. “I notice, from the records, that your conduct here has been exemplary. Not one black mark against you.”

“No, sir,” Miss Hudson said. “Not one black mark against me in twenty-four years.” Her eyes wept toward one of the windows. “I was thirty-eight when I came here.”

Whitman glanced through his sheaf of papers. “In 1952 you became eligible for parole. You have applied five times since then and been turned down five times.”

“Yes, sir,” she said. “I applied five times and my application was rejected five times.”

Whitman looked at Crandell and me for a moment, and then turned back to Miss Hudson. “Do you have any idea why?”

Her eyes flickered. “No, sir.”

I made idle marks on my folder. “Do you have any living relatives?”

She shook her head. “None that I know of, sir.”

I made another mark. “Any friends on the outside?”

“No sir. I had no friends.”

I looked up. “Do you have any friends in here? In this prison?”

She blinked and thought about that for a few moments. “Why yes, sir. I have a number of friends. Everyone’s very nice to me.”

We questioned her for another ten minutes and then she was allowed to leave the room.

Amos Whitman was new on the board. “I don’t understand this at all,” he said. “She’s been eligible for parole since 1952 and yet she’s been turned down five times.”

Crandell smiled. “Just because someone is eligible for parole doesn’t mean that we automatically grant it.”

“I know,” Whitman said. “But why not in this case? Her prison record has been spotless. And consider her age. She must have been about fifty when she first applied. That, in itself, would make her a good risk.”

“Frankly,” I said, “we certainly have to consider the question of her age right now. She’s sixty-two. What would she do if we did release her? Could she get a job? And what kind of a job would it be?”

Whitman was clearly shocked. “You mean to say that you’d actually consider keeping her in prison just because of her age.”

Crandell shook his head. “The state expects us to use our judgment in cases like this, Amos. And it isn’t a question of age. Miss Hudson happens to be a mass poisoner.”

Whitman frowned and riffled through his papers. “She was sent to prison for the death of her aunt. That’s all I have here.”

I supplied the information. “Within a period of one month, her uncle, her aunt, and her two adult cousins died. The authorities exhumed their bodies. All of them were found to contain lethal doses of arsenic. The state decided it would be sufficient to try her for the murder of her aunt.”

Whitman smiled sheepishly. “What reasons did she give for killing the others?”

“She killed her uncle because he beat his horses,” I said. “They still had some on farms in 1940. And she got rid of the two cousins because they drowned a litter of new-born kittens.”

Crandell grinned. “Do you think we could send her out into the world, Amos? She’s likely to poison anyone she sees mistreating an animal.”

I lit a cigarette and took a few puffs before I spoke. “She was orphaned at the age of twelve and taken in by her aunt and uncle. They lived on a remote farm upstate. From what came out at the trial, it appears that they kept her a prisoner. Oh, not actually a prisoner, I suppose, but they never allowed her any friends or clothes, and it appears that she did almost all of the housework and the cooking.”

Whitman sat up, his eyes bright. “And eventually she reached the age of thirty-eight. Don’t you see? That’s it. She didn’t kill them because of horses being beaten, or kittens drowned, or birds shot, even if she thinks she did. She killed them because of what they had done to her, to her whole life.”

Crandell rubbed his jaw. “I don’t know. I’m just a businessman trying to serve the state on the parole board like a good citizen. I’m no psychiatrist.”

He turned to me. “What do you think, Doctor?”

My wife’s estate is quite lovely at this time of the year. From the dining room window, I watched her on the lawn with Prince.

Miss Hudson was busy with the table settings. “I really don’t know what I would have done for a living if you hadn’t spoken out for me with the parole board, Doctor,” she said.

Outside, the dog uttered several sharp yelps and then whined.

Miss Hudson came to the window.

Some people use kindness to train their dogs. Others use the whip.

Miss Hudson’s eyes were wide, very wide, as she watched, and I did not think she would hear me if I spoke now.

I smiled as my wife raised the whip again.

The Five Year Caper

by Talmage Powell

Should one attain a planned objective unexpectedly, by gift rather than by accomplishment, one might reasonably experience a bit of haunting sadness.

* * *

The day was uneventful, except for the incident that occurred as Henry Overby was preparing to close his teller’s cage at the end of the working day.

As he was totalling the cash in his drawer, Henry had the sensation of being watched. He glanced up, and there was Mr. Joshua Tipton, the bank president himself, standing in the doorway of his impressive, walnut-panelled office, studying Henry.

Mr. Tipton, a grey-maned old lion, a banker’s banker in the ancient tradition, rarely showed concern for anything so low on the evolutionary ladder as mere tellers. Awareness of Mr. Tipton’s drawn-out and minute appraisal of Henry Overby seeped through the bank, until just about all of his fellow workers were stealing glances in Henry’s direction.

Despite the accelerating nature of his pulse rate, Henry gave no outward sign of dismay. With a properly respectful inclination of his head in Mr. Tipton’s direction, Henry continued working with his normal quiet, deft efficiency.

Work in neighbouring cages came almost to a halt as Mr. Tipton took it upon himself to stroll all the way across the bank to Henry’s window and stood there.

“How are you, Overby?” The austere, craggy countenance nodded cordially.

“I’m fine, Mr. Upton. And you, sir?”

The president glanced through the wicket. “Have a good day?”

“Very good, I’m glad to report.”

“A number of our customers seem to prefer you, Overby. They like to have you wait on them.”

“I try to serve with dispatch, Mr. Tipton.”

“A commendable attitude.” He glanced sharply away from Henry, and work behind the other wickets resumed with vigour. Less severely, Mr. Tipton’s eyes returned to Henry. “You’ve been with us for some time now, haven’t you, Overby?”

“Five years, sir.”

“A mere breaking-in period in the business of banking,” Mr. Tipton said.

“But time alone,” Henry ventured bravely, “is only one yardstick. There remains the diligence with which an employee applies himself.”

Mr. Tipton’s bushy brows quirked to attention. “Quite true. Taken much sick leave, Overby?”

“Never missed a day, sir.”

The president studied Henry a moment longer, then cleared his throat. “Yes, well... Nice chatting with you, Overby.”

“The pleasure was mine, Mr. Tipton.”

Henry was able to contain himself until he was alone in his neat-almost barren bachelor apartment. On his record player he put some very cool Brubeck and very torrid Rusty Warren and then, from the tenth which he’d purchased on the way home, poured himself a precise ounce of Scotch to celebrate the occasion. Unlike the slightly built, commonplace Overby of banking endeavours, Henry brazenly cracked back at Rusty, guffawing as he realized he’d topped the gag emitted by the tinny record player.

He danced his way to the kitchenette to stash the Scotch for future special occasions, a birthday ounce, a Christmas ounce, perhaps even two ounces at New Year’s.

The usual covey of strutting and cooing pigeons were gathering on the window sill. Henry fed them generously with graham crackers, bran flakes, and bread crumbs.

“Eat hearty, pals,” he told the fluttering flock, “toward the nearing day when it will be cake!”

Ah, yes, he thought as he began frying a thin hamburger for his dinner, Mr. Tipton’s conversation today has but one meaning.

Mr. Darcy Featherstone, who was now cashier, was going to be made a vice-president of the bank. Everyone knew that. But until today there had been no indication of who might be elevated to the cashier’s post.

As cashier, Henry thought, I’ll enjoy complete trust, unquestioned access to that beautiful vault.

The culmination of five years of planning, working, and waiting was almost at hand. It made all Henry’s past years seem remote and unreal. He could hardly remember the scrawny myopic little boy who, pushed from one unwilling relative to another after his parents had died, had long ago learned to keep his hungers, fears, and hopes to himself.

The day after he got his high school diploma, Henry had risen before dawn and crept from the house of the final relative, an uncle named Hiram. Henry had never turned back.

For the next couple of years, Henry had sampled the world, drifting and working odd jobs. A neat, polite, unobtrusive young man, he had been employed as a hardware clerk when he’d heard of the opening at the bank.

Applying for the job, he’d known he had impressed Mr. Joshua Tipton, then a vice-president, as a fellow whose wants and needs were simple and few.

Little did he know, Henry chuckled as he flipped his dinner patty of ground beef.

After his loveless and vitamin-deficient childhood, Henry had a secret yearning for prestige so powerful that it occasionally boiled out of his subconscious in the form of dreams. Slumber might transform him briefly into a renowned statesman, or a famous philanthropist planning an Alice-in-wonderland community for orphaned children, or an eminent explorer pushing far up the Amazon.

But the fibre of Henry’s agile mind was far too strong to be satisfied by mere dreams. Prestige, he analyzed, was possible to him only through material things, since he had little prospect of becoming a statesman, philanthropist, or explorer.

He lined his secret sights on four specific prestige symbols: an imposing home; membership in an exclusive country club; a big expensive automobile, and an expensive and somewhat snobbish wife with a family tree, even if she should turn out to be a bit plain.

It was not through choice that he placed the wife at the bottom of the list. He was simply realistic, accepting the natural order of things.

The prerequisite to Henry’s needs was, of course, commonplace. Money, money, money; enough to take him far away, to a new name, to a beginning of life.

He’d had no hope of ever coming into so much money, even when he had gone to work at the bank. The position, at the outset, had attracted him for two reasons. A bank teller enjoyed more prestige than a hardware clerk. And he liked the feel of money, the thought of being surrounded daily by so much of it.

Then one day, he’d watched Mr. Darcy Featherstone go into the bank vault where fortunes, plural, were stacked. And the thought had come quite naturally to Henry’s mind: If I were in Mr. Featherstone’s position, I’d disappear one day, and when they started checking up they’d find I’d become a very rich man. In Mr. Featherstone’s position, I could easily alter the record of the serial numbers of the large bills. With free run of the vault I could secrete the bills in my clothing, if I prepared the garments beforehand with hidden pockets and pouches, slip into my topcoat, bid everyone the usual goodbye for the day, and walk out of the bank as a veritable animated gold mine. I could break down the bills later in one part of the country, take the hoard to some nice little town in, say, Vermont.

Who would think ever of looking for the boldest of bank robbers around a snooty Vermont country club?

Henry had been jarred out of his trance, a few beads of sweat on his forehead, by the impatient clearing of a customer’s throat.

The idea hadn’t frightended Henry for very long. It became a part of him, another facet in that unknown portion of his personality. The bank vault, only a few yards from where he worked each day, became something more to Henry than mere case-hardened steel and flame-resistant alloys. With the passage of time, the vault assumed the aspects of a hiding place for Henry’s own secret treasure trove; a personal depository just waiting the day when he could claim his fortune.

He was young. He had plenty of time. Eventually, efficient worker that he was, he had to be taken into the inner circle, from which he would have intimate and unsuspected association with the treasure. It was his one hope. It was surely worth waiting for.

Meawhile, he had more than his salary to sustain him. Each day, he would be near his treasure. In a way, he would be watching over it.

With a start, Henry came out of his money-spangled fog. Greasy black smoke was rising from the hard lump of scorched hamburger. Not only that, someone was knocking at the door of his apartment.

He grabbed the frying pan, blistered his fingers, yelped, reached for a pot holder, and removed the pan to the sink. Then, sucking his burned fingers, he dashed for the door.

With a vacuous smile on her large, damp mouth, Miss Mavis Birdsong was standing in the corridor. She had moved into the building a few weeks previously. Ripened to the point of generosity in face and figure, she was a blonde with large, round blue eyes. There was just a little too much of her for Henry’s taste, although he had accepted her friendship from the day she had moved in and crossed the hall to borrow a cup of sugar.

“Hi, Henry.”

“Hello, Miss Birdsong.”

She gave him a little pinch on the cheek. “Come on over. I made spaghetti like even the Italians wish they could make, more than I can handle by myself.”

Henry thought of the charred mess in his frying pan. “Well, I...”

“Fine.” She linked her arm with his, precluding any further hesitation on his part. “I even have wine to go with it.”

“If you’re sure it won’t inconvenience you, if none of your other gentlemen callers...”

“Just a couple guys, I know, Henry. But you’re the only real gentleman in my life!”

In her apartment, Mavis hummed in a throaty voice as she prepared his plate. “How goes it at the bank, Henry?”

“Okay. Well, excellent, really.”

“That’s great. You get a promotion or something?”

“I think I’m going to. I... I’m sure they’re going to make me cashier. It’s been a long time coming, five years, but I’m certain I’ll be more than amply rewarded.” He gave a beatific sigh.

“Wonderful!”

Henry gave her a glance. For some reason or other, Miss Birdsong seemed slightly strained this evening.

“I’m afraid,” Henry said, “I’ve bored you with nothing but talk of the bank.”

“Not a bit. I’ve enjoyed every minute.”

Henry woke bushy-tailed the next morning. He bounced out of bed, did his knee bends and twenty-five daily pushups with no more effort than bending a finger.

In the preparation of his breakfast, he grasped the skillet handle and flipped the eggs in a manner that would have brought the envy of a first-rate short-order cook.

Even the day didn’t bother him today, first day of the month, the day for cashing those endless payroll cheques from textile and food processing plants in the area.

Henry made his customary prompt arrival at the bank. The blinds were still drawn on the double front doors, but he knew that Mr. Darcy Featherstone would have already arrived, met the guard, and unlocked.

Henry stepped inside. He promptly ceased all motion as a small, round object was jammed against his back.

“It’s a gun pal.” A gritty voice behind Henry imparted the information.

Henry’s gaze made a wild sweep of the bank, Judkins, the guard, with a lump on his head and no gun in his holster, was bending over a leather couch where Mr. Darcy Featherstone was recovering from a faint. Against the far wall, the bank’s small complement of employees were lined up under the gun of a squat man who wore coveralls and a rubber monkey mask that covered his entire head.

In a similar overall-mask disguise, the man behind Henry herded him forward. “You can fill the sacks, chum.”

“We’re vegetarians,” the second monkey face said. “We like lettuce. All that lettuce you got on hand to meet the payroll cheques.”

“Save it,” the man behind Henry said. “Just be sure to watch them jerks so nothing goes wrong until we get the lettuce into her car.”

Her? Henry had a queerly detached feeling. Her! Driving the getaway car. Waiting behind the wheel right now, engine at the ready, for her male partners to emerge from the bank loaded with loot.

Mavis Birdsong. Yes. It had to be. The men in coveralls and masks were the exact size and shape of the pair who had visited her. Her choice of apartments had been by design, as well as her friendship for Henry. She wanted him to tell her about the bank so that she and these two hoodlums could plan a despicable act

“Come on, come on,” one of the robbers was snarling at Judkins, the guard. “Get the cashier on his feet and about the business of opening the vault!”

“Right with you.” Mr. Darcy Featherstone’s voice was that of a whimpering child caught in a sepulchre.

Pressed forward by the man behind him, Henry watched the teller’s cages swimming toward him. From the corner of his vision, he saw Mr. Featherstone cravenly rushing toward the vault.

Mr. Featherstone was going to open the vault. And these unspeakable usurpers, the greedy pigs in monkey faces, were going to take, in a matter of minutes, the treasure to which he, Henry Overby, had been willing to devote years of his very life.

A wild shriek came from Henry’s throat. He felt the hard pressure of the alarm button behind the teller’s cages under his toe.

A bell began to clang. A gun blasted. A female employee screamed. Mr. Darcy Featherstone made a dull noise as he fainted and keeled over again.

Henry was vaguely aware of being in motion, the shrill yells still coming from his lips. He had a strange object in his hand which he’d scooped up from the shelf below and inside a teller’s cage. He curled his forefinger, pointing the object, and the bank resounded with the blast of gunfire.

Henry returned to the realm of consciousness with a wince, a groan, a slow opening of his eyes. A doctor, a nurse, and Mr. Joshua Tipton, bank president, were hovering beside his hospital bed.

“Welcome back, Henry,” Mr. Tipton said as if speaking to a son.

“Did they...”

“They didn’t Henry,” Mr. Tipton said. “When their deal soured, they broke and ran. Both got caught. Unfortunately for them, they were stranded on foot. When she heard the commotion, the blonde woman bolted in the getaway car. In her panic, she ran into a bridge abutment. But she was the only fatality.”

“Better let him rest now,” the doctor said.

“I’ll give him something to rest on,” Mr. Tipton said. “When you come back, Henry, you’re through as a teller.”

“I am?”

“The most miserable showing of Darcy Featherstone in a crisis has convinced me that he’s not quite the man for the v-p post. Your experience and length of service, along with proof that still waters do run deep, qualify you for the job, I think.”

“Welcome to our ranks, fellow executive. Mr. Vice-President!”

“Hmmm,” said Henry. He squinted one eye in deep thought. In five years, he realized, he had come to like the bank. Except for that shrimp Darcy, the other employees were pretty nice. And Mr. Tipton... why, the old man had unsuspected emotions behind that leonine exterior!

“You have the personal interest we all must share in the great responsibility intrusted to us,” Mr. Tipton was saying. “Even I, Overby, must take a lesson from your courage and intense personal devotion to our fine bank.”

“You must?” Henry inquired. His thought skittered briefly on a tangent. After all, bank vice-presidents do belong to country clubs. They do buy imposing homes, being in a position to ferret out a bargain. A v-p can invest, handle his money wisely, even purchase a fine car, and court a slightly snobbish fruit off a fine old family tree, although she may be a bit plain.

Henry’s ambition began to leap and dance. The mere thought of filching from the vault seemed puerile. Certainly it was unworthy of Henry Overby, vice-president, who in a few more years would very likely occupy the very office in which now Mr. Tipton reigned.

“Yes, Overby,” Mr. Tipton’s tone was an oratorical flourish. “We are proud to have a man with your sense of duty, your very personal regard for our noble institution. You expressed it fervently, Judkins reported, even if somewhat abstrusely.”

“I did?” Henry said cautiously.

“Certainly, man! Don’t you remember? As you went down under the gunman’s bullet, you were yelling it at the top of your lungs. Overby, the heroic words you uttered were, precisely. ‘You can’t nave the treasure out of my vault... my vault... my vault...’ ”

The Sucker

by David Mutch

No one is more aware than a child of the “annoyance of a good example,” yet on a rare occasion a patient teacher may be accidentally rewarded.

* * *

It was a day that started bad and got worse.

It started bad before I’d gone on duty. In fact, I was just getting out of bed and into my uniform when the phone call came from the head of our minor baseball league. He told me that my appeal had been turned down flat, that we hadn’t turned up with enough players to field a team last Friday night so the game went to the other team by default. He was nice about it. He said he was real sorry, and that he admired a cop like me devoting so much time to boys’ work; he understood the problems I must have in the Water Street area with those underprivileged kids.

But he didn’t understand. It wasn’t, if you got right down to it, the underprivileged kids of Water Street who were the problem. It was Mart Erie, who had this whole city in his paws, paws soft and white, but very dirty, too. I wondered how many kids would have turned up for the game if the team had been Erie’s. My guess was every last kid.

Strange, maybe, but bitterly disappointed in those kids though I was, I could see how it looked to them. I was just the cop on the beat, a square. Erie showed those kids three-hundred-dollar suits, expensive women and expensive cars. He showed them the rackets paid. I showed them what being a cop paid — not very much.

The day started bad and got worse, like I said. Marg, my wife, said sympathetic things about the baseball situation, but then she said, “I saw George and Ann yesterday.”

When you’ve been married for ten years, lots of things you say to your wife, and the other way around, have some sort of special meaning. That did. It meant that she had seen George Bell, who had quit the force for a job that paid more money, and why didn’t I get smart and do the same.

I said, “That’s nice.” Which meant, maybe I am crazy to stay on the force, but I’m staying.

Conversations between you and your wife take big jumps, I guess because you’ve been over and over the same subjects so often.

Marg said, “I guess it’s a healthy thing for you to do boys work, seeing we can’t have kids of our own. But why pick those junior gangsters down there? There are kids who’d appreciate having a coach who has played as much ball as you.”

“Those kids down there need it most, Marg. It’s a bad area.”

She nodded stiffly over her coffee cup. “It is a bad area. It’s a shame somebody doesn’t do something for it — like drop a couple of atomic bombs on it.” And then it came out, something I realized right away she’d kept bottled up inside for a long time. “I’m fed up. I’m fed up sitting home here night after night while you waste your time down in that human jungle with those ungrateful little gangsters, or risk your life with their big brothers. Water Street is rotten to the core. This whole city is rotten. Mart Erie owns this town — most of the cops, most of the politicians, everything. I want you to get off the force. Or if you must be a cop, let’s move to some decent city where they appreciate an honest cop.”

She put her cup down. It rattled against its saucer and her coffee spilled. What made it worse was that she’d never been this mad before. In fact, Marg seldom got mad at all. And she wasn’t finished.

“I hate to say this,” she said, “but you’re a sucker. Only a sucker would be an honest cop in this city. Only a sucker would start a baseball team for a bunch of little gangsters who couldn’t care less.”

I tried to argue with her, though my heart wasn’t exactly in it. “Well, maybe things will get better. There’s the Reform League.”

“The Reform League! Ha, ha, ha. It’ll take a lot more than the Reform League to stop Mart Erie.”

I took that conversation with me as I drove to work. I convinced myself that I felt for the Water Street kids because my childhood had been nothing to write home about. Some guys like to talk about the bad things they went through, but not me, I’d rather forget. Let’s just say the home I was brought up in, it you’d call it a home, was plain lousy, and let it go at that.

So I felt for those kids. But was I doing them any good? Was the competition, Mart Erie, too much? Was I being a sucker?

And the day that had started bad, like I said, kept getting worse.

The newspapers called Erie “the king of crime,” and things like that, and it wasn’t as phoney as it sounds, because when he came down to Water Street he strutted around like a king.

He had a thing in his head about Water Street. He lived miles away in this town’s best suburb, hut he had been born in one of the tenements on the street, and it was awful important to him for some reason or other to visit the street and show off, particularly to the kids.

He was on the street this day. and I had a run-in with him, and it happened with a kid named Billy White having a ringside seat.

White, so “Whitey”, naturally, was a born leader. Nothing special about his looks, just another skinny fifteen-year-old, but where Whitey led, the other kids followed. Right from the start of the baseball season I had known that Whitey would be the key to success or failure. And there were periods he didn’t miss so much as a practice. But there were other periods when I never laid eyes on him. He hadn’t cared enough to turn out for the first playoff game.

Whitey was slouched in the doorway of the greasy spoon in front of which Erie had parked his expensive imported car. The car was black. It gleamed in the sunlight like a freshly shined shoe.

I didn’t ask Whitey why he hadn’t turned out for the game. I figured if he had a reason — and I was sure he didn’t — he shouldn’t have to be asked for it. And I didn’t ignore him. Kids like him only laugh at you if they think they’ve got your goat.

So I played it real cool. “Hi, Whitey.”

He played it cool, too. “Hi, cop.”

I turned back to the car. It was parked in front of a hydrant, faced the wrong way. It was two feet from the kerb. This was one the kids of Water Street what a of Erie’s little ways of showing Dig joke laws were.

I put my foot on the bumper of Erie’s car and got out my book of tickets. I could feel Whitey’s eyes on me. I knew that he knew as well as I did there was no more chance of the ticket ever being paid than of the ragman’s horse winning the Kentucky Derby.

I had the ticket half made out when Erie came up the sidewalk. There was a muscle guy with him — a lot of hair, a low forehead and a loud idiotic laugh. Lots of times Erie handed out quarters to the kids of Water Street, and there was a bunch of them trailing along behind him now like peasants following a king. Erie liked it; there was a smug grin on his face.

Erie matched his car, flashy and slick and expensive looking. He had eyes as black as the car and just as cold, eyes that would make a rattlesnake’s look like a puppy’s.

Erie and I knew what we were fighting for; I saw his cold eyes cast a swift glance at Whitey.

Erie gave me a big phoney grin. “Good morning, officer.” He knew my name, but it was part of the little show he was putting on for the kids’ benefit, particularly Whitey’s, to pretend he didn’t.

He turned to his muscle guy and gave out with some more phoniness. “Tut, tut, Higgenbottom, look where you’ve parked the car. And now this nice police officer is giving us a ticket. Higgenbottom, you know how I dread trouble with the police.”

That got him the laugh he wanted from the kids. I sneaked a glance at Whitey. He was laughing, too. But I kept on writing the ticket.

When I got the ticket finished, Erie made a sort of little bow and took it. “Thank you, officer. I do hope it just somehow doesn’t slip my mind to pay it.”

He got into his car. The kids watched him admiringly.

I looked at Whitey again. I was met with a grin too worldly-wise, too contemptuous for such a young face.

The day that started bad and got worse, got worse still. The story of my latest run-in with Erie moved up the street a lot faster than I could walk, and all the wise guys of all ages made cracks about parking tickets that were used to light cigars.

For the first time I really thought of quitting the force. It all seemed so hopeless, Water Street with its cheap dives, horse parlours, scruffy little bars; its hoodlums and drunks. Erie had the street in his paws and all I was doing was playing clown for him, providing the kids with some cheap laughs.

I was halfway up the street before I realized Whitey was following me. He was slouching along, hands in his pockets, about ten yards behind. I didn’t know why. Who knows what goes on inside the head of a kid like Whitey? I pretended I didn’t know he was following me.

I stopped to lecture some little kids, seven and eight, I guess. They were playing in the mouth of the alley that separated the Golden Horse Tavern and the mission, directly across the street from St. Mark’s. They were playing with peashooters, which isn’t a big deal, I’ll admit, but they were shooting those hard white beans, and the year before a little girl had lost the sight of one eye.

I tried to explain to the little kids that what they were doing was dangerous but I was wasting my breath. I could tell that from the sullen, hostile looks on their little faces, faces that I’d often seen light up with awe and admiration when they looked at Erie.

I finished lecturing and started walking again. I’d taken maybe ten steps when one of the kids behind me yelled, “Hey, flatfoot, why don’t you go give Mr. Erie another ticket?” When I wheeled about the little kids were scampering off in all directions like mice, laughing mice. I looked at Whitey. He was laughing, too.

I couldn’t get really mad at the little kids, or at Whitey. Erie showed them that laws and lawmen were a joke. Like Marg had said, even the Reform League couldn’t stop him, let alone a cop on a beat. So why wouldn’t kids follow his example?

But I plodded on. I guess a mule is a reasonable character compared to me. Whitey stopped following me. I had no more idea why he stopped than why he had started.

Erie drove by. He’d do that sometimes for hours, just drive up and down the street, car windows open, big cigar in his mouth. He tooted his horn and gave me a phoney wave, and he sure thought he was funny. I noticed he was alone now. I figured maybe he’d put his muscle guy back in his cage.

I reached Pier Seven, the end of the street, and started plodding back, following my usual pattern.

It was about three minutes later that it happened, that astonishing thing that made me stop cold and made my heart skip some beats.

I saw Erie’s car coming toward me. then suddenly, just about level with the Golden Horse Tavern, the car swerved sharply right across the street and jumped the kerb and whammed against the grey stone side of St. Mark’s with a crash you could have heard five blocks way. Just like that it happened.

I was the first person to get to the car. The front was all mashed in but I managed to get the door open on the driver’s side. Erie sat straight, his hands on the wheel. His face looked calm. There wasn’t any blood. But no living man ever held his head in the position his was. Broken neck. Stone dead.

It had all happened so fast, so unexpectedly, that I was a little dazed. It took me a couple of seconds to identify the object on the lap of Erie’s expensive suit. But when I finally realized what the thing was, I did something I’d never done before in the presence of the dead. I grinned. I knew exactly what had happened and it was a joke — on Erie. A huge joke. And I thought, “No, Marg dear, you were wrong. It didn’t take a lot more than the Reform League to stop Mart Erie, it took a lot less. One heck of a lot less.”

I picked the thing up and put it carefully in my pocket.

A big crowd gathered quick. People came running from every dive along the street. They stood around and shook their heads and muttered. They couldn’t believe Erie was really dead, that he had died in such a way and so fast.

The Homicide boys arrived; they had to fight their way through the crowd. Sergeant Grady was in charge, a guy I really admired. He was such a good cop that not even Erie’s stooges at city hall had dared kick him off the force. And he was the only cop in town who had managed to make it hot and heavy sometimes for Erie’s boys. Tough, that Grady.

“Well, well,” he said to me. “Now ain’t this a beautiful sight. Who do we pin the medal on?”

I whispered the truth to him. I whispered because I figured probably Grady would want the truth known only when he was good and ready.

“Well, well,” he said. “How do you like that!”

I saw Whitey then. He was in the front of the crowd. He looked shook-up, disbelieving. I saw him look admiringly at Grady. Kids like Whitey admire tough guys, no matter which side of the law they’re on.

Whitey spoke up. “What happened, Mr. Grady? Was it an accident, or somebody bump him off?”

I took it upon myself to do the answering. “Suicide, kid. Suicide. The inquest may put another tag on it, but that’s what it was.”

I saw both Whitey and Grady frown, and Whitey said, “No. No, Mr. Erie wouldn’t do that.”

But Grady was suddenly grinning, and he said, “Yeah. If you look at it a certain way, that’s just what it was.”

I saw that Whitey was thinking hard now. I liked that. I wanted him to do a lot of thinking.

The newspaper columnist Mike Willard forced his way through the crowd to me. “The Reform League has finally got a break,” he said. “Erie’s empire will fall to pieces now. Watch what happens in the elections next month. And watch afterwards, because then you’ll see the heads roll.”

Water Street was just one big jam of people now. But they were real quiet. They just couldn’t get it into their heads that the king was dead.

Willard said, “Speaking of heads that are going to get chopped, here come half a dozen of them.”

They were some of the big wheels from headquarters, some of Erie’s stooges. They didn’t look healthy. An hour before they would have talked to Grady like he had a raging case of Bubonic Plague. It was sure different now.

“Anything I can do to help you, Sergeant Grady, just let me know. My entire squad is at your disposal, Sergeant Grady.”

It was funny — in a disgusting way.

I listened to Whitey and a couple of his friends.

“Suicide! Mr. Erie wouldn’t do that, would he, Whitey?”

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t have believed it, but now I don’t know.”

You’re thinking, kid, I thought. Keep right in thinking.

The ambulance got through the crowd and took the body away. The boys from the police garage towed away what was left of Erie’s car.

Grady took me aside into a doorway where we could talk private. Like they were so many flies, he shooed away all the wheels from headquarters.

“Give it to me,” he said.

I did. He held it between his thumb and forefinger for a second. “My, my,” he said with a big grin on his face. “And I guess you could buy a million of ’em for twenty bucks.” He put the thing in a little white envelope, which he sealed and put in his coat pocket.

“Suicide,” he grinned at me. “I get it. Be a good thing if some of the kids down here see it your way.”

“That’s what I’m hoping.”

“How’s the ball team?”

That surprised me. But then Grady knew every cop on the force, who was clean and who wasn’t. His question was his way of showing he knew about me, and I liked that, I really liked that.

“We won a few games. There’s always next year.”

“There’s going to be some big changes in this town in the next year.” Grady gave me a light fist on the chest. “Us outs are going to be the ins.” Grady left.

I liked that us, I really liked that.

Whitey had been hanging around, waiting to pump me, I knew. He was only three feet from me, but I acted as if the kid didn’t exist. I had him thinking and I was going to keep him thinking for a while.

“Was it really suicide?” he said to me.

“Well, kid, yes and no.” I had him thinking and I was going to keep him thinking for a while.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, kid, of course there’s going to be an inquest and all that, and they won’t call it suicide. But smart people, when the facts come out, will ask themselves what really killed Erie. And you know the answer smart people will come up with? Himself. And that’s suicide, kid?”

“What are the facts?”

He was reaching now and I was going to keep him thinking. Besides, he’d caused me a couple of sleepness nights over the baseball situation, and I didn’t mind at all the shoe being on the other foot now. If he spent a night or two thinking it might do him a world of good.

“Patience, kid, patience. Everything will be brought out into the light at the proper time and place, which isn’t here and now.”

I walked away from him. I didn’t look back, but I could feel him frowning at my back. He was a shook-up thinking kid. Good.

I walked back to the dirt and glass and wet where Erie’s car had been. I stood there thinking. Sucker? No, Erie had been the sucker after all. Big man, smart man, he’d taught kids of Water Street that laws and lawmen were a joke, and they had learned their lesson well, right down to the littlest kids who didn’t even know all the bad words yet.

I looked across the street at the alleyway between the mission and the Golden Horse Tavern. The little kids were gone now, but they had been there when Erie made his last drive up the street. And one wild shot from a peashooter, and one little hard white bean had zinged into the open window of Erie’s car and caught him square in the eye.

No, Marg, the Reform League couldn’t stop Erie, but now it didn’t have to. When you get right down to it, he stopped himself. I hope Whitey can see it that way.

I began walking my beat, and my old boots felt a lot lighter than they had for many a day. Dirty old Water Street looked beautiful. I felt like singing at the top of my voice.

Like I said at the beginning, it was a day that started bad and got worse, but suddenly it got real good, just fine.

You Can’t Catch Me

by Larry Maddock

One might be accused of ironic indulgence should he recall here, from Nonsense Songs, “They took some honey, and plenty of money, wrapped up in a five-pound note.”

* * *

I was finishing my research on the Thompson murder case when the phone rang. Murphy should have answered it, since he was the one on duty, but Chief of Detectives Raglan was closer to the phone Not yet forty, Raglan was almost a stereotype of a top cop; bull-necked and massiveshouldered, with a truck driver face which fronted for a tricky, analytical mind He wrapped his meaty hand around the receiver and put it to his ear. “Homicide,” he said. “Go ahead.”

His expression brightened, then clouded “Where are you, honey?” he asked, grabbing for a pencil. By this time, of course, my eyebrows were up and my ears were at attention. There was only one person in the world whom Raglan would ever call “honey”.

“Sit tight, honey,” he was saying. “I’ll have someone there in five minutes.” He broke the connection and dialed three numbers while I stuffed my notes back into my briefcase. “Prowler at 730 Barron,” he barked. “Get two cars there and seal off the block. I’ll cover the house myself.”

I’d watched him in action for seventeen years, and knew my time for questions would come later.

Raglan hung up and shifted his bulk in the swivel chair. “Get the lead out, Murph!” he bellowed. “My kid just reported a prowler. Let’s move!” He was out of the chair by now and grabbing his coat. He must have seen my expression because he grinned at me. “You want a story, Shaffer? Come on!”

Moments later the three of us were in a squad car heading east, and Raglan was telling me, “I’m not doing this just because it’s my kid. She wouldn’t call unless she was sure she saw somebody. We’ve had prowler reports before in that neighbourhood.”

Murphy started the siren then to clear traffic and, as shouting over it was not my idea of how to get a story, I sat back to enjoy as much of the ride as I could. Even Raglan showed signs of tension at the bigger intersections.

Hard-nosed and determined to do his job, Joe Raglan had first come to my attention when, as a rookie patrolman, he gave the Mayor a citation for speeding. I was a rookie, too, in the middle of my first year on the Bulletin. It was that first Officer Raglan story that gave me a freer hand with the police and City Hall beat than I probably deserved.

I’d kept track of Raglan after that, figuring he’d brought me luck. He was a cautious cop. He never made a move until he was sure he was right, but when he moved it was with a ruthlessness that brooked no opposition. That he should have been promoted to the Detective Bureau was as natural as my own advancement as a reporter. We both, I suppose, went as high as we wanted to.

Despite our similarities, however, in all the seventeen years I had never liked the man. Understood him, yes. Admired him, certainly. But I could never bring myself really to like him. He was too cold, too analytical, too well-honed a blade for my taste. The only warmth I’d ever seen him show was for his daughter.

Murphy killed the siren and the squad car rolled to a gentle stop two doors down from our destination. It was as close to a surburban neighbourhood as you could find while still inside the city limits. The other two cars were already there, one at each end of the block.

“No noise,” Raglan cautioned, and the three of us got out. “You and Shaffer cover the front of the house. I’m going around back.”

Murphy and I found shadows to stand in, while Raglan went heavily but silently to the wooden gate at the side of the house. A moment later he had it open without a sound. Then he was gone and I watched the gate swing slowly closed. There were no sounds for several minutes.

To Murphy, I imagined, it was not the sort of investigation which should legitimately concern an ambitious young detective. But Raglan had seniority, and I guess you don’t complain when the big boys call the shots. At least not in public.

Raglan’s voice came sharp and clear: “Debbie. Debbie!” Heavy footsteps inside the house. The front door burst open. “Murph! Shaffer! She’s not here!”

We sprinted for the door. “The children?” Murphy asked. He’s got two of his own about that age, and he tends to worry.

“Asleep,” Raglan said. He looked at his watch. “I talked to her ten minutes ago and she was okay. But take a look — she didn’t leave willingly, that’s for sure.”

The living-room told its own story A coffee table was upended in front of a sectional couch. A chair lay on its side not far from a television set. Between the couch sections, on a magazine stand, was a pink telephone, perversely undisturbed. A lamp leaned crazily against the near end of the couch. The draperies along the back wall had been partially torn loose from their runners, revealing a sliding glass door behind them. There was a hum and the scritch-rake sound of a phonograph needle grooving monotonously at the end of a record. Loose-leaf paper littered the floor.

The living-room was connected with the kitchen by a doorway and also by an open serving area above a waist-high counter. A stone fireplace dominated about a third of the outside wall The wall-to-wall carpeting would have made the room feel cozy had it not been for the signs of recent violence.

Raglan stared thoughtfully at a purse which lay open on the couch. He reached inside and found his daughter’s wallet, thumbed it open. “Three bucks,” he said, tossing it back in the purse. He pulled open the draperies and through the glass wall we could see a small porch and some lawn furniture beyond.

There was the click of a switch and light spilled from the side door of the garage at the back of the lot, revealing an object which lay crumpled on the grass nearby For a big man, Raglan moved fast, ducking outside and covering the ground with long strides, Murphy and I at his heels. “Her sweater,” Raglan said. “Cover me, Murph.”

Gun in hand, he approached the garage door; Murphy moved up on the other side. I prudently removed myself from the line of possible tire.

“Debbie!” Raglan called. “You in there, honey?”

He listened for a moment, then stepped quickly inside. “Come on, Murph!” I heard him say, and Murphy followed. A moment later the garage light went out.

“Stop where you are!” a new voice barked.

“Relax, Phillips — it’s me, Chief Raglan. See anybody?”

In the distance a dog began to yap. “Nobody,” Phillips reported.

“Where’s your partner?”

“With the car, sir.”

“Get him. Go over this alley from one end to the other. First I want you to call in an APB on Deborah Raglan, fifteen, hundred thirty pounds, brown hair, green eyes, good figure, last seen wearing a green plaid skirt, yellow blouse, saddle oxfords. Got that?”

“Yes, sir.”

“One other thing,” Raglan said. “When I saw her at ten o’clock her hair was up in curlers. She had a pale green scarf over it. Get that on the air now Don’t waste any time.”

“Yes, sir. You want the lab crew tonight, sir?”

“Get ’em here.”

While Raglan and Murphy started searching the alley, I returned to the house. I looked in on the kids and saw that they were sleeping soundly. Then I went to the telephone. My deadline for the final edition is eleven o’clock; I still had a little over ten minutes. I picked up the phone. There was no dial tone. It took me another minute or two to find the kitchen extension, which was off the hook. Had Debbie been trying to call out when the prowler broke in? I jiggled the hook until I got a tone, then dialed the city room.

“Jackson, this is Ted Shaffer,” I said. “Page one if you have room. Chief Raglan’s daughter is missing. Foul play suspected. While babysitting last night she called her father, Chief of Detectives Joseph P. Raglan, Homicide Bureau, to report a prowler in the neighbourhood. That was about fifteen, twenty minutes. Make it ten-thirty. Ten minutes later, Raglan arrived in a squad car. No prowler has been found yet but neither has the girl. Name is Deborah.” I repeated the description Raglan had rattled off a few minutes ago.

I could hear Jackson’s typewriter clacking as he took it down. There was an envelope on the kitchen counter. I picked it up, then continued, “Her sweater was found in the back yard. Address is 730 Barron Street, home of Mr. Frank Van Drimmelen.” I told him about the purse, then added, “Look in the morgue for shots of her; about a year ago I did a picture story on her, the cop’s daughter who wants to follow in her daddy’s footsteps. Yeah, I’ll hang on.”

I could hear Jackson bellowing for somebody to look for Debbie’s picture. In a moment he was back on the line, firing questions.

“Yeah, Howdy. Two kids, about two and four. Apparently she was making a phone call when her assailant broke into the house. Kitchen phone off the hook. I was with Raglan when he got the call. How’s that for luck, huh?”

I hung up and looked at the mess in the living-room. Van Drimmelen’s hi-fi was still grooving on the record I walked around the kitchen partition and lifted the needle off, being careful not to disturb any fingerprints that might be on the pickup arm. A record jacket lay nearby. I found the control and turned the hi-fi off. Without the hum the house was deadly quiet

The stillness was broken by the telephone bell. I reached through the service opening into the kitchen and picked the receiver off the nook. Before I could answer a man’s voice said, “Deborah?”

“No, she isn’t here at the moment,” I said. “Who’s calling?”

“Isn’t there!” the voice exploded. “She’s babysitting my kids! Who is this?”

“Your children are fine, Mr. Van Drimmelen,” I assured him. “But I suggest you come home immediately. Debbie reported a prowler to the police. When we got here she had disappeared.”

“What happened?”

“We don’t know yet. Apparently somebody broke in.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“The children are both asleep, and somebody will stay with them until you arrive, so drive carefully.”

“I will. Thank you.”

As I hung up, Raglan came in from the back yard, carrying Debbie’s sweater. “She must have had it around her shoulder’s,” Raglan said.

I nodded. “Van Drimmelen’s on his way home, Joe,” I told him “He just called. Find anything else?”

“Nothing. There’s no trace of her. A kid just doesn’t disappear without a trace. Not Debbie. She put up a fight anyway,” he added, looking at the mess.

“You’ll find her, Joe,” I assured him. “Got any theories about it?”

His eyes narrowed for a moment as he stared at the sweater. “It might not just be a prowler,” he said. “I don’t have anything at all to back up that statement, but I’ve got to suspect the worst.”

“Motive?” I asked.

“Try revenge,” he said.

I looked at him.

“It’s no secret that I think the world of that kid. Could you come up with a better way to get back at me?”

“Can I quote you on that?”

“Yeah. Go ahead. But as a police officer I’ve got to think of other possibilities, too. I know Debbie. I know how her mind works. This theory, though, you do not quote.”

“All right,” I agreed. “Did she have any reason to run away from home?”

“What reason does any fifteen-year-old have?”

“She’s not — in trouble, is she?”

“She better not be. But I don’t know. Hold off for a day on the revenge theory. You’ll be the first to know the minute I get anything.”

“I know that. What grade’s she in, Joe. And what school?”

“Ten. McKinley. Why?”

“I may be able to get farther in this direction than you could.”

“I appreciate your help. I don’t recall any special girl friends — my wife might, though. Debbie is a lot like me. She keeps pretty much to herself.”

Raglan went out then to check on progress m the alley and returned just as a car stopped out front. A key turned in the lock and we watched the front door swing open to admit a tall man and an attractive, buxom woman. “Raglan!” the man said. “What happened. Did you find her yet?”

Raglan shook his head. “Shaffer, this is Frank Drimmelen and his wife.”

“Excuse me, please,” the woman said. “My babies.” She vanished towards the bedrooms.

“I tried to call Debbie at ten-thirty,” Van Drimmelen said, “to tell her Nikkie and I might be about an hour later than we’d planned, but the phone was busy.”

“She was calling me about then,” Raglan said, nodding.

“I tried again three times in the next ten minutes,” Van Drimmelen continued, seeming to enjoy the limelight of his own testimony. “I even called the operator to see if the line was out of order. She was still talking, though. Half an hour later I tried again and Officer Shaffer answered.”

The woman returned and gasped when she saw the living-room. “Good heavens, this is a mess. Let me clean it up,” she said, starting forward. “Oh, what a mess!”

“Don’t touch anything,” Raglan said sharply. “The lab boys ought to be here any minute. I’ll need your prints, Frank, and your wife’s, so we can eliminate them.”

“You’ll find mine on both phones,” I volunteered. “I don’t think I touched anything else.”

The technicians arrived and spent an hour combing the house; it was nearly one by the time Raglan, Murphy and I got back to the police station. Raglan told me to check with him in the morning, and I went home.

The big detective had been in and out already when I called Homicide the next morning, which was Wednesday, so I bought a paper on my way in to the Bulletin building. The story was on page one. Jackson had slugged it, “CHIEF’S DAUGHTER VANISHES,” with a sub-deck reading, “Foul Play Suspected.”

Stanton Pritchard, perhaps the best city editor in three states, was pointing out the story to one of our newer staff members as I walked in. “Here’s how to be a star reporter, Nolan,” Pritch was saying. “Pick a cop, make him look like a hero, help him get promoted and twenty years later you’re the one he calls when something breaks. Oh, hello, Shaffer.”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Pritch,” I said. “The real secret is to work for a paper that pays you so poorly you’re forced to moonlight. So you start writing up old murders for the true crime magazines; that puts you in the cop’s office at ten-thirty at night when all the action starts. How you doing, Nolan?”

“Fine, Mr. Shaffer. Anything new on the Raglan story?”

“I don’t know, kid. I just got here. Pritch, I’d like to spend most of the day on this thing, unless you have something more pressing in mind.”

Pritchard grinned. “Can you give me twenty inches by four o’clock?”

“If you promise me a fourteen point byline. I’m going to talk to her schoolmates today, find out what sort of girl she was — pardon me, is,” I told him. “Tomorrow I’ll have a quote from Raglan that it might be the work of a revenge-seeking ex-con.”

“He tell you that?”

“Asked me to sit on it for a day or so.”

I spent a few minutes in the morgue giving Old Mayhew instructions to dig out every criminal Raglan had been instrumental in capturing, starting about five years ago and working backwards, in case the revenge theory was right. Then I called the Superintendent of McKinley High School and got his permission to talk to Deborah Raglan’s home room teacher. By the time I arrived he had rounded up several teachers, Debbie’s counsellor, the school nurse, her Phys Ed instructor, and the presidents of the two student organizations to which she belonged In all, I interviewed five teachers and about a dozen students. The picture which emerged was in line with Raglan’s statement that she was a lot like her father — a loner. Apparently Debbie had no “best” friends of either sex. She dated a variety of boys, apparently so sure of herself that she considered a “steady” an unnecessary social crutch.

I asked the blonde, buck-toothed girl who sat next to her in study hall if there was any chance Debbie might have staged the whole thing and run away.

“That’d be tough,” the girl replied, intrigued by the idea. “She’d have to have a real good reason, though. She figures everything out, you know?”

Caution seemed to be a Raglan family trait.

I stopped at a pay phone and called Homicide again. This time Raglan was in. “Any news about Debbie?” I asked.

“Nothing much. Some strange prints on that glass door, but they don’t match anything in R and I. You’ve been busy at the school?”

“They all say the same thing: bright, good character, no trouble, no enemies, no close friends, sort of a loner, fairly popular but she didn’t make a career of it. If you have no objections, Joe, I’d like to talk with your wife.”

“Sure. She’s at home. I told her to stay there in case Debbie called.”

“I’ll check with you later.”

“Do that. By the way, Shaffer, when are you going, to learn not to withhold information from the police?”

“What information?”

“I have to read in the paper that the phone was off the hook. Anything else you didn’t tell me?”

“The hi-fi was on.”

“Of course. I’m surprised she wasn’t watching television at the same time. I wonder if she was trying to call me back?”

“Could be,” I agreed. “Let me know if the lab comes up with anything newsworthy.”

Talking to Florence Raglan, I suspected, would be one of the least pleasant parts of my day. I figured that staying married to her was either a point of honour with Raglan, or he was doing it just to be near his kid. I took the elevator up to their third-floor apartment and thumbed the bell.

Florence Raglan had been a pretty woman once. Traces of it were still visible, if you looked past the hard lines around her mouth and the puffy eyes. She opened the door and stared blankly at me for a moment. “Yes?”

“I’m Ted Shaffer, Mrs. Raglan, with the Bulletin. I was with Joe last night when he discovered Debbie was missing. Can you tell me what happened earlier in the evening?”

She ushered me into her living-room and motioned me to a chair. When she spoke it was in a voice that had too many sharp edges.

“We had dinner at six o’clock, then Deborah walked over to the Van Drimmelens’. Joe has a crime show he likes to watch on Tuesday nights, so he stayed home. About a quarter of ten Deborah called and asked if her father could bring her one of her other school-books, so he drove over with it.”

“He would have seen her about ten o’clock, then,” I said.

“That’s right. I suppose he went to the office after that.”

“Did your daughter seem nervous earlier in the evening?”

Florence Raglan shook her head. “She read a book all through dinner.” She stared at the telephone, then massaged her forehead with the heel of her hand.

“I know this is upsetting you, Mrs. Raglan. Would you rather I came back later?”

She shook her head again.

“About a year ago,” I said, “I did a story on Debbie — I think you recall it. Does she still want to follow in Joe’s footsteps and become a criminologist?”

“That was just a phase she was going through,” the woman replied. “She worships her father, of course, but I think lately she’s been leaning towards writing.”

“What sort of writing?”

Her voice held a sharp note of contempt. “Mysteries, of course.”

Naturally. With Joe Raglan in her pocket she’d be a fool to write anything else.

“You’re hoping for a phone call?” I asked.

“It’s possible, I suppose, but not very likely.” Mrs. Raglan smiled thinly. “I’d be the last person she’d call.”

“Are any of her clothes missing?”

“No, nothing’s missing. There was money in her purse. There’s still over a hundred dollars in her savings account.”

“Would it be possible for me to take a look at some of her writing?”

“If you wish,” she said, crushing out her cigarette and standing up. “But I assure you it’s nothing worthwhile.”

Mrs. Raglan led me deeper into the apartment and opened the door. “This is her room,” she said flatly. “Such as it is. Doesn’t look much like a normal teenager’s bedroom, does it?”

The room was starkly functional. A portable record player was in one corner, on the floor. The bed had no stuffed animals on it, the dresser-top was bare. A kneehole desk stood against one wall, and an old portable typewriter occupied the centre of it. Mrs. Raglan opened the drawers, disclosing a neat stack of typing paper, carbons, pencils and paper clips but nothing which looked remotely like a manuscript. “They’re probably in her locker at school. I think she took them in for Mr. Sorenson in the English Department to check over.”

I added Sorenson’s name to my notes.

“You’d hardly know she was a girl,” the woman said wryly. “She refused to learn how to sew. Said it didn’t interest her. Cooking was the same. She was always too busy with her art work — for which she Had no talent at all, and I told her so. For a while she wanted to be a dancer but she had absolutely no sense of rhythm.” There were many things Florence Raglan felt were wrong with her daughter and she seemed to enjoy listing them. “Lately it was writing, but the girl can’t even spell. When she took typing I tried to talk her into taking shorthand, too. Being a stenographer is a respectable career for a girl, but she said she wasn’t interested in other people’s words.”

“She must be a pretty good babysitter, though,” I ventured.

“She never sat for anyone but the Van Drimmelens. I was hoping that would bring out her feminine instincts, but I haven’t seen much improvement. She’s just too much like her father.”

“In what way?”

She gave me a long-suffering smile. “You know how Joe loves playing cops and robbers. He’s smart enough to get a better job, but being a detective has glamour. It feeds his ego. Do you know he even turned down a promotion last year because it would mean he’d have to grow up and start acting like a man?”

“I know.” It would have been unwise to tell her that was one of the reasons I admired Joe Raglan. I thanked her for her co-operation, borrowed a photo of Debbie and put it in my briefcase, and left her to resume her telephone vigil.

It was noon. I traced the eight-block route Debbie had travelled to her babysitting job and parked in front of the Van Drimmelens’. The neighbourhood seemed just as quiet as it had been last night.

Mrs. Van Drimmelen was home, feeding lunch to her two children. She was an attractive young woman, big-boned, with the clean, just-scrubbed look that owes more to diet than cosmetics. “I’m so upset over this,” she said. “You just don’t know. I’ve been so afraid something like this would happen.”

“You’ve had trouble with prowlers before?”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Never, as long as we’ve been here. We’ve been very fortunate in this neighbourhood, until last night. But... well, you know, Mr. Shaffer, a mother can’t help worrying about her children. Finding Debbie was such a godsend. Not very many girls her age are so capable or so dependable. She was always here fifteen to twenty minutes early, she never touched anything that didn’t belong to her. She was a real contrast to some of the girls we’ve had.”

“How did you happen to find Deborah?”

“My husband knows her father. Frank was telling Mr. Raglan about the troubles we’d been having with babysitters, and that very night Debbie called us. I’ve been so thankful she did — until this horrible thing happened.”

“Could you give me the names of your neighbours? I’d like to talk with them.”

“Of course.” She dictated a list of names while I wrote them down.

It was a short block, with only five houses counting the ones on the corners, so I worked my way from one end to the other. A Mrs. Carter Phillips, in the corner house, furnished the only piece of information which might conceivably be considered a clue.

“Nothing unusual ever happens in this neighbourhood,” she said. “About the most exciting thing yesterday — until the girl’s disappearance, I mean — was the old car that was parked behind our garage all day. I was a little angry about it, and I was going to call the police if it was still there today, but it isn’t.”

“A strange car?”

“I suppose I wouldn’t even have noticed it if it hadn’t been parked right where we put the trash barrels.”

“What kind of a car?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It was just an old black car like you see in junkyards. It was there all day, and it was still there when I went shopping last night, but it was gone by the time I got back.”

“What time was that?”

“Let’s see,” she said. “I was almost the last person to leave the supermarket, so it would have been a few minutes past ten when I returned. I told the police all about it and they said they didn’t think it was important.”

I drove thoughtfully back to the newspaper office.

Old Mayhew had done a good job for me. On my desk was a stack of clippings covering some thirty-seven cases in which Raglan’s testimony had helped send the accused to prison. I had about an hour or so left in which to produce twenty inches of copy for Pritch, so I set the tiles aside and began sifting my notes to find a starting place. Sometimes it’s like trying to pick up a jellyfish without knowing where the handle is. I had enough material, all I had to do now was put it together in the proper order. After about ten minutes I began building my lead paragraph I stared at it for a minute, then reached for the telephone.

Raglan was in his office. No, there were no last-minute developments.

“May I use the revenge theory yet, Joe?”

“I’d rather you didn’t until tomorrow,” Raglan said. “I don’t want to tip anyone off.”

“Anything to the old car in the alley?”

“What?”

“I’ve been busy, Joe. A Mrs. Phillips at 768 Barron said there was an old car parked behind her garage all day yesterday.”

“Oh, that. It was gone too early to have anything to do with this. If Debbie isn’t home by midnight I’ll have deputies and Boy Scouts combing the area for a body.”

“I hope you’re wrong.”

I broke the connection, dialed McKinley High School, and arranged for Mr. Sorenson of the English Department to call me immediately. It took him five minutes.

“Mr. Sorenson,” I said. “I’ve been told Deborah Raglan is interested in writing. Know anything about it?”

“Oh, yes, Mr. Shaffer,” Victor Sorenson replied. “I wasn’t in this morning, but I heard about your visit. Yes, Debbie showed quite a bit of promise. Her spelling was atrocious, but her stories were original and well-plotted, although of course there was very little depth to her characters.”

“Why do you say ‘of course’?”

“At fifteen? Would you expect her to have the insight you or I would have?”

“I wouldn’t expect the average fifteen-year-old to be writing mystery stories.”

“You have a point there,” he agreed. “Still, Debbie was not a very warm individual. Her mind was very clinical; her emotional development was wanting. She might have been capable, as she grew older, of attaining some degree of rapport with her fellow human beings, but I seriously doubt it.”

“She took you some stories, I believe. Do you still have them?”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Three days ago I had one but Debbie took it back to work on it some more.”

At three o’clock my story was in Stanton Pritchard’s hands. He read it over and passed it to Hendrix for a head. “What’s next, Shaffer?” he asked.

I told him about tomorrow morning’s manhunt with the Boy Scouts; Pritch took notes.

“Seeing that I haven’t had lunch yet,” I added, “I thought I’d grab a bite on my over to the Probation Department.”

“Here’s a thought, for what it’s worth,” Pritch said, rubbing his chin. “If you were in stir, would you be likely to know how crazy Raglan is about his daughter?”

“I’ll bear that in mind.”

I ordered my sandwich and then called the Department to make sure Milt Rosenberg could see me. Milt had been a parole officer for the last ten years, and had helped me on previous occasions when I needed information on individuals who had goofed themselves into the news. Today, however, according to Esther, Milt was just too busy to talk to me.

“I’m checking a news story. Trying to keep ahead of Chief Raglan, which is a remote chance.”

She said maternally, “It takes some doing to keep ahead of Joe Raglan. Can I help?”

“I’ve got to talk to Milt about some of his boys.”

“You think one of them pulled the job?” she asked dubiously.

“Raglan seems to think so.”

“How well I know. Check with me tomorrow, will you?”

I had a somewhat more leisurely lunch than I’d planned, then returned to my desk at the Bulletin and called Homicide again. Raglan had ordered Debbie’s locker opened at school, he told me, but all they found were two textbooks and a couple of items of clothing. No, no short stories.

I’d put off writing the side feature on Deborah Raglan long enough, so I batted it out at home. Despite my objectivity, Debbie came out smelling pretty good. And because of that same objectivity, she came out real, a clever, talented girl, with poise and self-assurance, a realistic outlook, a bit headstrong.

Pritch was happy, too, when I handed him the story Thursday morning. “I might want a favour some day,” I said. “You have somebody out there this morning to shoot the Boy Scouts combing the fields?”

“Matcha. Got back an hour ago. He’s probably in the photo lab.”

I found the huge photographer at the coffee machine. “Listen, Shaffer,” he said, “next time one of your friends gets me out of bed so early, try to have the body in a ground-floor apartment, okay. I must have walked off fifty pounds in the last two hours.”

“They find anything?”

“Yeah. One baseball, an old shoe and seventeen empty whiskey bottles.”

The story broke at nine-thirty, with a phone call from Raglan. “Come over here, Shaffer,” he said curtly. “I told you you’d get it first, but I won’t give it to you on the phone.”

I grabbed my briefcase, told Pritch where I was going, collected Matcha, and went.

When we arrived at Homicide we were sent straight back to Raglan’s office. Raglan picked up a letter from his desk and handed it to me. “This was dropped in a drive-up box in front of the main post office sometime between ten forty-five and eleven forty-five yesterday morning.”

The envelope was clipped to the letter, and bore a twelve noon postmark. The crudely printed address read: “Chief Raglan, Homocide Div., Fallbrook Police Dept., City.”

The note itself was a masterpiece of restraint: “Raglan, if you want the girl back alive, it will cost you $100,000 in unmarked twentys. You have 3 days to get it ready.” It was pencilled in bold black letters on a sheet of plain paper.

“Fingerprints?” I asked hopefully

Raglan shook his head. “The paper’s too porous to retain any. You want to take a shot of it?”

Matcha was already setting up his camera.

“What are you going to do, Joe?”

“Pay,” he said. “I’ve already ordered everyone off the case. I’ve got to assume Debbie’s alive; it’s my job now to keep her alive. She’s probably still in the city. And so is he.”

“Couldn’t you find them in three days?”

“I might scare him into killing her. I don’t want that.”

“Where are you going to get the money, Joe? A hundred thousand is quite a lot. If the department wants to hold a raffle I’ll help with publicity...”

“I’ll get it, one way or another. I hope. Whoever is behind this knows damn well I can’t raise a hundred grand. But he’s got the knife in, and he’s twisting it. It’s someone who hates me personally.”

“You don’t think the money interests him, then?”

“He’s interested; he just doesn’t expect to get it. But perhaps his greed is more powerful than his hatred. My only hope is to get word to him that he will get the money.”

Matcha put the ransom note back on Raglan’s desk and said, “You know what I think. Chief? This is the work of some young high school punk. If he hates you it’s only because you wouldn’t let your daughter go out with him.”

“What makes you say that?” Raglan asked.

“This ransom note. It’s like comic-book lettering. An experienced criminal would have clipped words out of newspapers and pasted them together. This guy practically signed his name.”

Raglan shook his head. “I wish he had used scissors and paste; he might have left a useable print.”

“I still say if you check with the school and see who’s been absent since Tuesday you’ll have him.”

“It’s an interesting theory,” Raglan admitted. “But the fact remains, he’s asked for a hundred thousand and I’ve got to assure him he’ll get it.”

“I can have it on the streets by nine o’clock tonight,” I offered.

“That’s too late, Shaffer. I promised you an exclusive; I want you to release me from that promise. This story has got to be on the noon news over every television and radio station in the area. Help me, will you, Shaffer?”

I told him, “Give me an open line and I’ll start the ball rolling.”

Matcha looked at me oddly. “You better get back to the paper, Chuck,” I told him. “A print of that note ought to go good as a line cut, don’t you think? But don’t tell Pritch what I’m doing, okay?”

Matcha shrugged and lumbered out.

It took me an hour to contact all the local media. At the end of that time Raglan said, “Shaffer, I’ve been thinking. This guy is sure I can’t raise that much money. But if, by some miracle, I succeed, he’ll figure I can make good any promise — or any threat.”

“Maybe,” I said.

“I’ve got to take the chance. Is there any way I could get on television tonight and talk to him personally?”

“A televised news conference?” I suggested.

He frowned. “They’d edit me down to about three minutes of film. I’ll need longer than that. Larry Brenner’s on tonight, isn’t he?”

“Are you serious? He’d tear you apart!”

The big detective smiled. “Nobody tears Joe Raglan apart, Shaffer. Get me in touch with him.”

I talked to Brenner first. He was delighted with the opportunity, and agreed to postpone the show he’d taped for tonight and substitute a live half-hour with Chief Raglan. Caught up in the spirit of the thing, I even called the Daily News and let them scoop me on page one. For that, I should have been awarded a Merit Badge.

Then I called the Department of Probation and Parole. Half an hour later, Milt Rosenberg looked at my list of ex-cons and checked off half a dozen of them. “Back in custody,” he explained. “Raglan picked them up this morning for questioning. Yesterday he interrogated almost everybody else on this list, and every last one of them has complained about it to me. Except for those six, who haven’t been released yet.”

“Complained?”

Rosenberg smiled. “It’s — ah — the manner of questioning they’re objecting to.”

I nodded. “The boys on the force sometimes forget their manners.”

“It’s creating a problem for me; in a couple of cases my parolees have lost their jobs already, on account of being picked up. The department is sometimes instrumental in finding jobs for them where only one man in the firm has to know they’re ex-cons, but you can’t keep that a secret when you’re picked up at work. It’s unfair, but what do you expect from a man like Raglan? He’s not interested in people — he’s interested in results. You want the home addresses of these men?”

“That’s what I’m here for, Milt.”

“Just be fair to ’em, all right?”

“Until one of these guys is charged with kidnapping Debbie Raglan, he won’t even get his name in the paper. But if it happens, I want all the information right at my fingertips.”

Rosenberg buzzed for his secretary. When she came in he handed her the list. “Esther, give Ted the current addresses of all these men, will you please?”

“Any of these guys hate Joe Raglan enough to kidnap his daughter?” I asked.

Rosenberg shook his head. “These men are specialists; they know one crime and they always do it the same way, maybe with minor improvements as they gain experience. Take Duncan; he’s a forger. A master of his trade — signatures, documents, the works. Raglan got him for preparing false ID that was used in the commission of a felony.”

“So?”

“This job was pulled by someone who knows the ins and outs of kidnapping — someone who probably is capable of murder. Either that or a master criminal, a jack of all trades, and they don’t exist except in the comic books.”

I, too, was unwilling to buy the Master Criminal idea, which left but one category to choose from. The hoodlum who had not yet settled down to a distinctive modus operandi. A young kid, maybe a smart high-school kid. I was willing to bet that in addition to brains he’d have a personality problem. A smart kid. Perhaps brilliant. But socially inept. Since he wouldn’t be much of a mixer he wouldn’t have the experience to make it with the girls. Outwitting the cops might have a strong appeal for this type of boy. And to kidnap the Chiefs daughter — that would be a project worthy of his intellect!

I was guessing now, and I didn’t want to risk Raglan’s scorn if I was guessing wrong. But there was nothing to prevent me from doing a little detective work on my own.

I called Victor Sorenson and arranged to meet him at a convenient bar later on. In the meantime I still had a story to write, to run alongside the personality profile I’d done of Debbie the night before. I wrote it fast and well, thankful that Raglan, for a change, was being good copy all by himself.

Sorenson was tall and angular, with a long face and a Nordic complexion, complementing his name.

“I ordered you a beer,” I said. “I hope that’s all right.”

He smiled crookedly. “My taste in beverages is completely in character with my budget. Have they located the missing manuscripts yet?”

“No, but a ransom note came in Raglan’s morning mail.”

“I heard about that. I understand he’s ordered everybody off the case.”

“Everybody but us amateurs. He wants to keep Debbie alive.”

“A noble motive,” Sorenson said “I’ve been trying to think of anything else I can tell you about her, without much success.”

“That’s all right,” I said. “I didn’t ask you here to talk about Debbie. I have someone else in mind.” I described the brilliant, rebellious high school boy I’d built up in my mind’s eye.

“Whew,” he said. “I know the type.”

“But do you know the boy?”

He smiled and sipped his beer. “Fifteen years ago that description might have fit me. Off hand, I can’t think of anyone quite like that in school right now.”

“Maybe a drop-out,” I suggested. “Someone attending school recently enough, though, to get to know Debbie, develop a crush on her. Someone who might have been in the habit of printing his name at the top of his assignments?”

“Why should that be significant?”

I took a clean sheet of paper from my briefcase and reconstructed the ransom note. I should have asked Matcha for a duplicate print of the note itself.

Sorenson studied my facsimile and nodded. “I’ve seen lettering like that. Not too often, but I’ve seen it. I can’t recall exactly where, but I’ll check around for you.”

“He’s not necessarily a dropout,” I said. “But if he’s still going to school, he’ll have been absent just as long as Debbie has.”

“Not necessarily,” Sorenson countered “If he’s as smart as you say he is, he’d be cautious enough to cover his tracks He would have kept coming to classes just as it nothing had happened at all. His ego would demand it; it’s all the kids are talking about now.”

“There’s one class he would have missed,” I said. “Yesterday morning, between ten forty-five and eleven forty-five, he was in front of the main post office mailing that ransom note.”

Sorenson smiled. “That narrows the field considerably.”

“Call me, will you?” I drained my beer.

“Sure. At the paper?”

“If I’m not there, ask for Stanton Pritchard. He’s the city editor. He’ll know where to reach me.”

After we’d parted, I thought about Victor Sorenson for a while. The man was handsome, with a brooding, intellectual quality which I imagined would have appealed to a girl like Deborah Raglan. I wondered if it could have been more than a quest for constructive criticism which had prompted her to take her stories to him. He was in his early thirties, old enough to be her father, but young enough not to be And he had poise and maturity. I wondered, too. if he might have seen in her something more than just a welcome relief from the general run of nincompoops he was required to instruct.

At nine o’clock that night the Larry Brenner Special Report came on; I taped it for reference.

Florence Raglan was there, a tragic figure of grief. Perhaps it was the crumpled handkerchief in her hands that did it. If I hadn’t known her, my heart would have gone out to her. Joe, too, had changed. By the time I’d watched five minutes, I realized I was looking at a side of Joe Raglan I’d never seen before.

The first quarter hour was devoted to the details of finding Debbie gone. Then Brenner concentrated on Debbie, delving into her likes, dislikes, anecdotes about her childhood, the warm, human way in which she blossomed into all-American girlhood. She, too, had changed, having acquired a sweetness and innocence that no one ever suspected. That was Brenner’s style of reporting. The thought of a brutal kidnapping was enough to send chills down the spine.

Brenner had a documentary look about him as he solemnly informed his audience that Chief Raglan had requested a few minutes in which to talk directly to his daughter’s kidnapper. Then the scene shifted to the tragic couple on the dais.

Raglan blinked and located the proper camera. “I want to assure you,” he said slowly, “that all official efforts to locate you have been stopped. No police technician has so much as seen your ransom note. I am making every effort to co-operate. You have asked for one hundred thousand dollars.” He paused, and his voice was almost inaudible. “I want my daughter back.”

Mrs. Raglan began to cry quietly. Joe’s arm went around her shoulder’s, and he looked straight at the camera as it dollied in. His face filled the screen. He wasn’t the tough cop any more. There was grief in his eyes as he continued, “Debbie, we’ll get you back. I don’t have the money yet. I don’t know where we’re going to get it, but we’ll get it if I have to die trying.”

His expression changed, became hard. “And you — whoever you are. If you hurt my kid I’ll track you down. Don’t hurt her, you hear me? You’ll get your money, every penny of it. You know my reputation. I’ve never gone back on my word yet.”

He was breathing hard, and his wife was sobbing openly, her head on his chest. The camera pulled back and the lighting changed, leaving the Raglans silhouetted in black against a white background.

Larry Brenner’s voice dominated the scene, “Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Raglan. Parents of Debbie Raglan, fifteen years old, kidnapped Tuesday evening while babysitting.”

The camera cut to Brenner’s face. His eyes flicked to one side and he frowned, then reached out to accept a slip of paper from an unseen hand. There was a moment of effective silence before he spoke again, rapidly and excitedly.

“We just had a telephone call pledging a cheque for one hundred dollars.”

Brenner’s voice faltered. “Chief Raglan, I’m sorry I couldn’t be the first, but I’ll match that hundred right now. We’ve only got a minute and I don’t know much about setting up fund-raising campaigns, but I’m sure there are many people in our audience tonight who will give what they can.”

They called it the DEBBIE FUND and a hastily scrawled placard bearing the station’s address filled the screen for Brenner’s remaining minute.

I switched the TV off and thought about the story I’d done for tomorrow’s Bulletin, which was already on the streets. The human slant. A word-picture of a girl as she really was — or as close to it as I could find out. An honest story, not a tear-jerker, not at all. Not the sort of story Brenner had pulled from the Raglans. And, I had to admit, not the sort of story which would prompt anyone to contribute a hundred dollars to the Debbie Fund.

I rewound the tape, skipping back and forth until I found the part I wanted, then copied it and added two paragraphs to it, feeling uneasy all the time. Then I went to the phone.

“Jackson,” I said, when I got through to him, “you watch the Larry Brenner show tonight?”

“Last half of it. I’m trying to figure what to take off the front page.”

“You’re the editor. How far along is it?”

“Early edition’s out — state edition is on press. I can have the change from home delivery in the city. Got something?”

I read him what I’d written. It wasn’t a complete story, but Jackson could handle the rest of it. When I got through I opened myself a beer, and wondered if I should try to match Brenner’s gesture with a hundred dollar cheque.

I flicked the TV set back on and confirmed my suspicion that the station was turning the Debbie Fund into an impromptu telethon. Just ninety minutes after Raglan’s appearance, the pledges were estimated at better than twenty thousand dollars.

Friday morning dawned bleak and overcast. I unfolded the morning paper and read what Jackson had done to the front page. It seemed as uninspiring as the weather.

Pritch frowned at me as I walked into the city room. He stood up as I approached his desk. “Ted,” he said quietly, “Raglan’s unhappy, boy. He’s so unhappy he’s threatened to sue the paper, you, me, Old Man Owens and two or three John Does.”

“For what?”

“For telling the world what Debbie is really like. Defamation of character.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’ve gone over that story with a magnifying glass and I can’t find anything libelous in it. But you know Owens and lawsuits.” He paused. “There’s only one condition under which Raglan won’t sue, and Mr. Owens decided to meet it. Your cheque is waiting at the cashier’s desk.”

“Now wait a minute!”

“Look at it this way,” Pritch said reasonably. “Raglan’s in a corner. He doesn’t have a hundred grand, but he’s worked out a way to get it. He sees you as a threat to the Debbie Fund and he panics. He’ll cool off once he gets her back. Don’t do anything rash. I’m not trying to hire a replacement.”

I nodded. “I guess what I resent most is being taken off this story.”

Pritch grinned. “How can I take you off a story if you don’t work for me any more?”

“You have a point,” I agreed. “My phone still work?”

“Yep.”

“I want to talk to Raglan.” Joe Raglan didn’t want to talk to me. I had the feeling, when I hung up, I’d be lucky not to be picked up on suspicion of spitting on the sidewalk.

I spent an hour at the typewriter, making notes. Then I picked up my briefcase, my hat and my check, and went at to find out why. There had to be a reason behind it, more valid than the theory Pritch had advanced. I probably knew Joe Raglan as well as anyone else in the city did. And the Joe Raglan I knew was incapable of panic.

I sat in the car for a long time an reviewed the case, right from the beginning. I consulted my notes and went over conversations I’d had with the people involved.

One of the first things Raglan had said to me was that there had been prowler reports before in that neighbourhood; Mrs. Van Drimmelen and Mrs. Phillips had contradicted that.

The time element seemed to have holes in it, too. I had been in Raglan’s office at ten-thirty when Debbie called. We had arrived at ten-forty. Therefore, within that ten minutes she must have disappeared. Van Drimmelen had tried to call her at ten-thirty and the phone was busy. That part of it checked.

But three times in the next ten minutes Van Drimmelen had tried to call her and it was still busy. She had finished talking to Joe, and was either conversing with someone else, or had been interrupted while attempting to place the call. But Van Drimmelen had called the operator and asked her to check the line; she had reported that the line was actually busy, that there was conversation in progress. That completed her report.

Was it my call to the Bulletin she’d plugged in on? No, because I didn’t talk for more than three minutes. The phone rang almost immediately after that, and it was Van Drimmelen. He claimed he’d waited half an hour before placing that particular call. Either the man’s time sense was drastically off, or there was something else amiss. I got out pencil and paper, trying to unscramble it.

It took about an hour, but suddenly I had the jellyfish by the handle, and when I held it up I didn’t like what I saw at all. There were a few things I’d have to check, but now that I knew what I was looking for it would be easy. I spent the next two hours feeding dimes into a phone booth.

Mrs. Van Drimmelen, at home, gave me one of the answers.

Her husband, at work, gave me another. “Yes,” he said, “I like to keep my watch fifteen minutes fast. I’m more frequently on time for appointments that way. I suppose it was actually about ten-fifteen when I started calling home.”

I wondered who Debbie would have been talking to before she called her father. It seemed strange that whoever it was had not volunteered the information. Unless, of course, it had been the kidnapper himself.

Fortunately, I was on good terms with Jay Evans, the local phone company manager. After an enlightening technical conversation, he cleared me with his Chief Special Agent, who promised me he’d get in touch with the verifying operator and have her call me right back. They both warned me that there was but one chance in a hundred that the girl would remember any one particular number.

By a stroke of luck, the operator remembered Liberty 11-776. “I thought it was a good omen,” she said, “seeing that it was one of the last numbers I checked before my relief came.”

“Could you tell me the exact time you checked it?”

“We don’t log verifications, but it must have been just a couple of minutes before ten-thirty.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a couple of minutes before?”

“It couldn’t have been. My break is at ten-thirty.”

“Was the voice male or female?”

“Male, I think. But I wouldn’t know what was being said. I plug in just long enough to hear a voice. I’m too busy to listen longer than that.”

I dialled Evans again. He promised to check the toll charges on the Van Drimmelens’ phone for that evening, but informed me that, unless a message unit call had been placed, no record of the call would exist. Still, even if I drew a blank in that area, I had enough information to satisfy me, although it would hardly convince the District Attorney.

I called Mrs. Van Drimmelen back with one more question. The answer was no, their record collection was entirely composed of classical music.

I got some more change and called Milt Rosenberg, who was happy to give me the names of the men who’d lost their jobs as a result of being pulled in for questioning.

“Have any of them asked for permission to leave the city?” I inquired.

“No, Ted. Why?”

“Just a hunch. Call me at home if it happens.”

I cashed by cheque, then stopped at a music store on my way out to see James Duncan, the artist who had served three years on account of his excellent penmanship. I had to agree with Milt — Duncan wasn’t the type to try his hand at armed robbery. Or kidnapping. He wasn’t even a particularly good liar: his denial was so all-inclusive that I was sure now I was on the right track.

The rest of the afternoon I spent with a travel agent. We planned about six different vacations for me, with careful attention to flexibility and economy. I regretted not being able to make up my mind, but gave her to understand that I’d let her handle all the arrangements as soon as I reached a decision.

Then I went home and opened a beer and sat back and admired the clinical thoroughness of the whole swindle.

In a little while the telephone rang. I’d been expecting that.

“Victor Sorenson,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get you all day. They tell me at the paper you don’t work there any more.”

“Sad, but true. You find anything?”

“Not what I was looking for. Something better, I think. That was a fine profile you did of Deborah Raglan.”

“Thanks, but it lost me my job. Get to the point.”

“I’m getting there,” he assured me. “Your story was particularly effective alongside the photo of the ransom note. I wish you’d shown me the note itself yesterday, instead of just your reconstruction. Something struck me as odd the minute I saw the paper this morning. It may not mean anything, but...”

The paper was in plain sight. I stared at it for a moment, then grinned. “I see what you’re talking about,” I told him. “All by itself it wouldn’t mean much. I’m afraid. Comparison discloses it.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t spot it yourself,” Sorenson chided.

“You know, Victor, for a while I suspected you.”

“Really?” He sounded amused. “Why?”

“After what you told me about yourself I started thinking. You were one of the few who knew her whose whereabouts I couldn’t account for at the time the ransom note was mailed.”

“I was ill that morning. Who else can’t you account for?” he asked.

“One of them was Raglan himself. But he doesn’t count.”

“What are you going to do about this?”

Sorenson was asking too many questions. “I think I’ll sit on it,” I said cautiously. “See what else develops. You spotting the error confirms something I suspected, but letting the information go any further right now could queer the whole thing.”

“I’ll keep quiet,” Sorenson promised.

We chatted a few minutes more. Afterwards, I opened another beer and settled back to wait for Rosenberg to call. He did, about half an hour later. When he accused me of being psychic, I felt so good I considered for a moment applying for Joe Raglan’s job. But you have to work your way up from the bottom for that, paying careful attention to your reputation.

“What’s his name, Milt?”

“Eddie Rocco. He’s nineteen; served six months for grand theft auto. He’s kept his nose clean since he got out, but being picked up killed his job. I guess Raglan isn’t as ruthless as I thought. When he found out, he got on the phone and found the kid another job where nobody knows he’s done time.”

“That was real nice of him. Rocco tell you this?”

“Raglan called me himself a few minutes ago to see if I’d approve.”

“What city?”

“New York.”

“You tell Joe about my hunch?”

“No. Should I have?”

“I’d just as soon you didn’t. Joe and I aren’t on the best of terms these days.”

“He’ll cool off,” Milt assured me. “He’s proved he’s human, anyway.”

I hung up and laughed, then. And I put some records on and laughed some more.

I watched television for a while. Someone in the city was sitting on one hundred thousand dollars in unmarked twenty-dollar bills. That was on the midnight news. Raglan had delivered them as per instructions in a second mis-spelled note, and he refused to tell even the FBI where he’d taken the money until Debbie was back. The TV played it up big. Would she be returned alive? Or would her body be discovered half-buried in a shallow grave?

I knew the answer to that one. I was one of two people in the entire nation who knew the answer to that one. Sorenson suspected the truth, of course, and maybe Florence Raglan did, too.

The next morning, Saturday, I conferred at length with that travel agent. It took us about ten minutes to find the information I was looking for, now that I knew the destination, but she was such a charming girl that it was an hour before I left her office.

I drove over to the telephone company then, after calling to make sure Jay Evans would be in. “In that time bracket,” he said, “it must have been a local call. There was a message-unit call about two hours earlier, though.” Reluctantly, he gave me the number.

“Who belongs to that number, Jay?”

He told me. “You think it’s important? Should I call Raglan?”

“No. That fits in with one of her homework assignments. She was just checking some facts.”

Evans looked crestfallen. “Well,” he shrugged, “I tried. I’m sorry.”

I patted his shoulder. “Thanks.”

I was whistling as I walked out of the telephone building. Maybe it was because I had another excuse to visit my favourite travel agent.

Once a day, after that, I went for a drive. It took me half an hour to get there; I’d spend forty-five minutes watching people come and go; I’d spend another half-hour getting back. I got to know the parking attendant quite well, and discovered that it takes ten days for a car to qualify for impound. I browsed around the lot until I found the car for which I was looking.

Raglan, after it was obvious to everyone that the kidnapper had failed to keep his end of the bargain, resumed the search. I followed it on the front pages with considerable interest. It annoyed me for a while, not seeing my byline there, but I certainly couldn’t write those stories if I was persona non grata at the Detective Bureau. I grinned ruefully when I realized that most of my former friends were useless to me now as news sources. I decided I’d have to start making some new friends.

“Our pigeon has flown,” Raglan was quoted one day. “With the money in his pocket, he doesn’t need Debbie any more. If he were going to release her, he’d have done so earlier. The fact that he didn’t leads me to believe he couldn’t risk her describing him, and I am forced to assume that my daughter is dead.”

Reminded of his promise to “track you down”, Raglan was asked if he’d resign to do so. “I may apply for a leave of absence,” he said.

My daily drives continued. They were quite pleasant. Nine days had gone by since Debbie had vanished. And in the parking lot, the car I’d been checking on was gone.

Clutching my ever-present briefcase, I hurried into the airport. I had forty-five minutes — plenty of time. Even with time out for a phone call, it only took me ten.

Raglan was in the coffee shop, sitting at a table which commanded a fine view. With him was a nervous young man in a suit which was obviously new and apparently uncomfortable. They were conversing and didn’t notice me as I approached. I pulled up a chair.

“Hello, Shaffer,” Raglan said. If he was surprised it didn’t show in his face.

“Hi, Joe. I’ll bet your friend is Eddie Rocco.”

“You’ve got quite a memory for faces.”

“Never saw him before in my life. I’m not working for the Bulletin any more, or hadn’t you heard?”

“I’m sorry about that. You’re a good reporter.”

“And you used to be a good cop. But we can let bygones alone. I haven’t forgotten how to write, but I need some technical advice. You know how the criminal mind works better than I do. Maybe you can help me.”

“Buy you a drink?” Raglan asked.

I looked at my watch. “Yeah. It’s half an hour before plane time. I won’t take that long. I’m thinking of switching to mystery stories, Joe. It’s a shame Debbie isn’t here, she might be able to give me a few pointers.”

The Rocco kid blinked at us, first at me, and then at Joe.

“You say you’re having troubles with a plot?” Raglan asked.

“Oh, I’ve got it all worked out,” I assured him. “I’m basing it loosely on your daughter’s tragic disappearance. I’ll change the names, of course, so there won’t be any grounds for a lawsuit. Anyway, this girl and her father are pretty close — two peas out of the same pod. Daughter is intensely interested in Daddy’s work, catching criminals, you know. I have no choice but to make him a detective.”

“Do,” Raglan said, with a trace of amusement.

“They decide to vanish, take a lot of money to a foreign country. Cuba would be ideal, if it weren’t for the international situation. I think it would be safer in Mexico, or one of the Banana Republics.”

“Venezuela is pretty,” Raglan observed.

“You’ve got a point there,” I admitted. “Trouble is, they don’t have a lot of money, so the girl sits down and figures out a way to do it. Probably with Daddy’s help.”

Raglan smiled. “It’d be better if she worked it out on her own. Make her a real bright kid.”

Rocco sipped his coffee nervously.

I nodded. “With a clinical mind. Anyway, they decide to stage a kidnapping for ransom. That precludes any immediate suspicions that the girl is running away and, if they can figure out a way to raise it, guarantees them enough money to live on for a few years, especially if they invest it wisely.”

“You have all the details worked out?”

“Most of them. First, they need a good place to vanish from; for some reason they can’t use their own home.” I looked at him expectantly.

“Too many sharp-eyed neighbours around,” Raglan said. “Or the physical layout would make things difficult.”

I nodded enthusiastically. “Wrong sort of neighbourhood. A wife who’s home most of the time. Third floor apartment and all that. Anyway, they pick a spot where the kid can babysit regularly and get to know the habits of the neighbours. This has to be done carefully, because the timing is very essential. It takes about three months before they’re ready. Daddy has access to a car that couldn’t be traced too easily. An old one would be ideal; nondescript. If anybody spotted it, I doubt they’d even be able to identify the make. Only Daddy and his daughter would be likely to know.”

Raglan’s eyes crinkled. “Building some traps into this, aren’t you?”

“Got to,” I said. “The girl’s character is the major trap, Joe. She’s too precise, too clinical. She never touches anything without permission. Even a hi-fi. I’ve worked out a real clever way for her to be in two places at once.”

Rocco, by now, had stopped pretending a lack of interest.

“When you take a phone off the hook and dial one number, any number but 0, you kill the dial tone and open the line. In case somebody tried to call in they’d get a busy signal. Of course, if they really wanted to get through, they’d ask for a verifying operator to check the line. The operator plugs in just long enough to hear a voice; she’s too busy to listen very long. But how do you get a voice on the line when the house is empty? Turn a TV set on? No, it would probably sound like a TV programme. A tape recorder with conversation on it? That’s out, because anybody could spot the gimmick if they found a tape recorder running.”

“Sounds like a problem,” Joe said.

I grinned. “I bought three Shelly Berman records the other day. You’ve heard of him? The comic who does the telephone conversation routines?”

“This puts the girl in two places at once?”

“Sure. She has the old car parked in the alley. At ten o’clock, or even a little before, she makes the house look like somebody broke in and violent things happened. She calls Daddy so he can come over with a schoolbook and verify that he saw her at ten o’clock. He might be bringing her some clothes, too, to change into boy’s clothing, perhaps?”

I looked at Eddie Rocco, but he just blinked at me.

“She might even cut her hair. Daddy could get rid of the clippings, along with what she was wearing when she left home. She leaves in the old car — after the phone is off the hook with an open line and the record is on the hi-fi. Daddy drives to his office. The girl drives to the airport, where she picks up her ticket for faraway places — Venezuela, did you say?”

Raglan nodded.

“Obviously,” I continued, “if the plane for South America leaves at ten-fifty, and the girl is half an hour away at ten-thirty, she’d never make it. But it works out nicely if she calls the airport at eight and leaves at ten. I’ll admit her means of transportation had me puzzled until I found the car in the lot.”

Raglan frowned; Eddie Rocco looked worried.

“Daddy wouldn’t want the car impounded,” I went on, “for that might have unpleasant side-effects. But it would take two people to drive to the airport and collect it. Daddy and someone else — somebody he could trust. I doubt he’d pick Mummy, since she’s the one he and the girl are skipping out on. He’d look around for somebody who was in a corner. He might even put that somebody in the corner. That would be a nice touch, right in character with Daddy’s usual way of doing things. Someone who, with a little persuasion could be convinced that Daddy could do him some real good.” I looked at Eddie Rocco. “Maybe somebody who’d just lost his job.”

“When did you decide it was a swindle?” Raglan asked suddenly.

I countered with a question of my own. “What’s the most precious thing in the world to a writer?”

“Seeing his name in print?”

“No, Joe. There’s glamour to that, the first time or two it happens. But there’s something far more precious than his byline. His manuscripts. Especially if he’s a beginner. Every word is sort of sacred. If he had to leave everything else he owned behind, he’d take his stories with him, because they’re the only things he couldn’t replace with money.”

“I guess you know writers better than I do,” Raglan admitted.

“I guess I do, Joe.”

“I can put together the rest of the story myself,” Raglan said. “You got a hero in this thing? A detective? A fatal mistake and all that?”

“Sure. A newspaperman. I’m prejudiced towards my own kind. He’s in the detective’s office when the girl calls — from the airport — to report a prowler. There’s no way to tell if the babies’ parents have tried to call their babysitter — Do I have to go into details?”

“Smooth,” Raglan said. “Just tell me the mistakes. In fiction, the crook always makes mistakes. Happens in real life, too, sometimes.”

“Not so much mistakes, Joe. Circumstances. Like, how is he to know that Van Drimmelen’s watch is always fifteen minutes fast? Or that the man’s wife is going to brag about how the girl never touched a thing without asking first. And how she didn’t ask to play the hi-fi. Or that anyone would suspect the Van Drimmelens wouldn’t be likely to own a Shelly Berman album? Or that the girl spells homicide with two o’s and one I, instead of the other way around — and that her English teacher would remember such a thing? It’s a common enough error, but when it shows up on a ransom note too, you know?”

I smiled. “I owe you a lot, Joe. You told me once that a good detective gets to know the people he’s pitted against. The better he knows them, the easier it is to figure what they might do next. Same thing goes for a good writer. He knows his characters so well that the minute they step out of line it’s like a red flag. Once you decide what a character wants, you figure out the most intelligent way for him to go about getting it, consistent with his limitations, of course. Conversely, if you know his limitations and can see what he’s doing, it’s fairly easy to determine what he wants, and what he’ll do to attain it.”

“That’s pretty heavy theory, Shaffer.”

“Let me put it in terms of our story, then,” I offered. “This reporter knows Daddy pretty well, and he gets a funny feeling when Daddy acts out of character. And when he gets a real incentive to use his imagination, things start falling into place. He starts figuring how he would do it if he were planning a swindle. And he starts checking back.”

“Suspicions,” Raglan said. “That’s all you’ve got, Shaffer.”

“Suspicions confirmed,” I corrected. “This is a technological age, Joe. Remember I told you timing was absolutely vital to this plot? Even picking the right night for Debbie to be kidnapped. Why did it have to be a Tuesday? What advantage was there having everyone think she vanished at ten-thirty when she really lit out at ten? I didn’t have the answer to that one until a week ago, when I discovered she’d made a phone call to a certain airline.”

“What does that prove?”

“Have patience, Daddy, I’m getting to it. Flights to Mexico City are not a nightly occurrence from here, Joe. They happen twice a week, Tuesday nights at ten-fifty, Friday afternoons at three forty-five. And there’s only one airline offering that service. So I asked myself, why not Friday? Wrong time of day for the vanishing act. And the wrong day, seeing that Daddy had to go on the Larry Brenner show while the story was still hot.”

Raglan nodded. “How’d you discover the call to the airport?”

“Another one of those circumstances over which you had no control. The Van Drimmelens had been having babysitter trouble; it even showed up in their phone bill. So they subscribed to a message monitoring service, which makes a record of any calls placed from their phone to numbers outside the local toll-free area. Not only were you ignorant of this, Joe, but nobody would have any reason to look for something like that.”

“I see.”

“It took me a while to locate the car,” I admitted. “But I knew you couldn’t leave it there. Today it was gone, and I figured you’d be gone soon, too. It took me about three minutes to find out that you’d been granted a leave of absence, ostensibly to follow up a lead in New York. Correct me if I’m wrong, Joe. In New York you will disappear, no muss, no fuss. It may be weeks before anyone starts wondering what happened to you. They’ll check with the airline. Yes, a Joseph P. Raglan was delivered to the New York airport. That’s one more reason you need Mr. Rocco, isn’t it?”

The kid looked as if he was ready to make a run for it, but Raglan held him back with a gesture. “Tell me more, Shaffer,” he said quietly.

“There’s an expert forger kicking around,” I said, “who hotly denies having any beef against you, or even having seen you since he was paroled. But the records show that he was picked up for questioning the day after Debbie disappeared. An experience like that certainly wouldn’t have slipped the man’s mind, would it?”

Raglan looked thoughtful.

“And then,” I continued, “Eddie here asks permission to move to a job in New York. Turns out Daddy is the one who has assured the job, which the reporter and the parole officer both agree is quite out of character. There is also a way to get from here to New York where you fly to New Orleans first. Now if Eddie were to be holding a ticket with Daddy’s name on it, and Daddy were to have Eddie’s ticket — plus a forged passport — it would be simple for the ersatz Mr. Rocco to change planes in New Orleans and fly to South America.

“And that touch with the money was clever as all get out, Joe. Technically, I don’t even know if you stole it, because people gave it to you as an outright gift.” I grinned. “When you come right down to it, you didn’t ask ’em for it. It was Brenner who did that. I’ll admit I like the idea of Brenner being forced to give it all back to the donors.”

“Me, too,” Raglan admitted. “Especially as a large percentage of the gifts were anonymous.”

“Exactly. But tell me, Joe — how will you get the money out of the country? It’s not too big a package, but sizeable enough to present difficulties.”

It was Raglan’s turn to grin. “Not if it’s broken up into small packages. But I’ll never admit it.”

I shrugged. “And I was looking for something complicated,” I said, smiling ruefully. “Why should I blow the whistle, Joe? I keep thinking of poor little Debbie, waiting for you down in Venezuela, an innocent, inexperienced, naive little fifteen-year-old. What in the world would she do without you?”

“What do you want, part of the take?”

“Please!” I protested. “You earned that, Joe. You and Debbie.”

“You figure things out pretty good,” Raglan said thoughtfully.

Then he added abruptly. “You’ve got your story. What are you going to do about it?”

“Not a damn thing, Joe. Florence has the furniture, you’ve got your freedom and your daughter and enough money to get by on, hundreds of people have the good glow from knowing they’ve helped. I’m not hurting any — I’ll be back on the Bulletin payroll in a week or so, just as soon as it’s definitely established that you’re missing. And if I write this up as fiction I ought to make back part of the salary I’ve missed.”

Joe Raglan stared at me uncomprehendingly. Then he held out his hand.

“Thanks,” he said. “Aren’t you afraid if I get caught between here and the border you’ll be held as an accessory?”

“Not a chance,” I said. “I haven’t got one witness who actually saw anything happen, so how could I prove any of it? Of course that forged passport in your pocket might be a little embarrassing, but Jim Duncan would be back in stir if he testified against you. So would Eddie here. It’d be your word against mine, and I’m the first to admit that it’s all conjecture.”

“But it would look good on the front page of the Bulletin, wouldn’t it?” he asked. “I still don’t get your motive.”

“Try revenge,” I said. “I was reminded recently that Mr. Owens doesn’t read anything but the financial section. You’d better hurry, Mr. Rocco,” I added. “Or you’ll miss your plane.”

I picked up my briefcase and walked out then. Murphy was waiting in the lobby, as we had arranged.

“Hi, Chief,” I said, patting the briefcase. “I’ve got it all on tape.”

I turned and watched as the young cop strolled into the coffee-shop. Pick yourself a cop, any cop, Pritch had said. Make him look like a hero. And you’re the first one he calls when something big happens.

I smiled. In all that seventeen years I’d never really liked Joe Raglan.

Content

Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 1, No. 1, May 1967 (UK)

Ghost of a Chance by Carroll Mayers

The Escape of Elizabeth Clary by Ernest S. Kelly

Keeper of the Crypt by Clark Howard

The China Cottage by August Derleth

The Chinless Wonder by Stanley Abbott

Chain Smoker by Arthur Porges

A Good Friend by Richard Deming

Mrs. Gilly and the Gigolo by Mary L. Roby

For Love by Elijah Ellis

Memory Test by Jack Ritchie

The Five Year Caper by Talmage Powell

The Sucker by David Mutch

You Can’t Catch Me by Larry Maddock